#ITS SO HORRIFYINGLY CHARMING

[fandxmslxt69]

Terrible Liar

Avenger!Loki x Avenger!f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injury (reader has a nasty ass wound), mentions of blood and medical supplies, Loki and reader are both assholes to each other but its FUNNY. Rushed plot bc this came to me in a fever dream. Maybe some bad grammar, run on sentences etc. Ignore those ahaha. this is NOT edited or reviewed AT ALL. she's as raw as they come.

A/N: This came to be in a fever dream. Btw. Like God sent it to me. I'm sorry if it feels rushed I was so desperate to get it all down I blacked out. IT'S 5K OKAY MY BAD AHAHAH i'm kind of a slut for this kind of trope so MY BAD. anyway this is for THE @sarahscribbles 's Christmas Celebration!! Sorry I'm a little late, these two wouldn't shut the fuck up so I got carried away. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOY SARAH I LOVE YOU <3

Synopsis: What could possibly go wrong with spending a night sharing a room with Loki? (aka: enemies to lovers + one bed trope)

Word count: 5K

Oh man. You watched Loki bang the hood of the car in anger. That can’t be good. 

You rested your head against the window of the stolen car, taking deep breaths. You could feel your whole body shaking from the adrenaline. You hadn’t calmed down a single bit since the ride out here. How long has it been? Probably less than an hour. You had no idea how far out you were from the nearest town and it absolutely was not the right time for this car to stop. Your entire body hurt from getting kicked in the ass repeatedly during the fight, and your head spun. Your left side throbbed and your shoulder screamed in agony. Not to mention, you are completely separated from the rest of the group, and you have no means of communication. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your comm, and your spare was of no use. Loki said the lines were down anyway, so it wasn’t much help to begin with. 

Speaking of the devil, he threw the door of the car open, letting in the chill winter air, and huffed as he got back in, slamming the door behind him. “Stupid, useless vehicle. What is the point of transportation if it fails so easily?” He grumbled.

“It’s out of gas, genius,” “Well it’s not making for a very efficient getaway car,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Well?” You looked at him expectantly, but he only looked back with an expression of confusion. You sat up straighter to face him, but your vision blurred and your head swam. It took you a minute to collect yourself. “We can;t just sit here, we’ll freeze to death,” Loki scoffed. “No I won’t,” You clenched your jaw. “Okay, I’ll freeze to death,” “Tragedy,” His tone was dead as he pulled out his phone to mess with. “I’ll let them know it was a heroic death,” “You’re such an asshole,” “How original,” You nearly growled. “Laufeyson,” “Agent,” He replied smoothly, looking up at you with one of those disarming grins. You were not falling for it. You may be delirious and crashing soon, but you were not falling for Loki’s charms. 

“We need to figure something out,” “You mean I need to figure it out,” “Oh my fucking god. I’m not gonna sit here like some passenger princess-” “Agent, you are trembling so hard you couldn’t even walk a foot much less help out in this little dilemma,” Loki interrupted. “I have no desire to starve out here, and horrifyingly, I can’t find it in my heart to let you die out here either. I’ll figure it out,” 

You grumbled under your breath, and you were certain he heard you because he grinned wider and went back to messing with his phone. 

He was right though, you were shaking really hard- both from the adrenaline and now, the cold. Whenever you exhaled, a puff of white air formed in front of you, and the tip of your nose was starting to go numb. The idea of leaving your fate at the moment in the hands of Loki was an absolutely horrifying idea, since you knew how reckless this guy tended to be. But you didn’t have much of a choice, and as much as it physically pained you to sit quietly and wait, you did just that. It was made another fifteen minutes before Loki peeled his eyes away from the phone pad. He opened the door to the car, and stepped out. 

“Hey!” You yelled. “Where the hell are you going? Close the goddamn door!” But of course, he didn’t bother answering or listening. He looked around, staring at his phone occasionally before surveying the area again. And just when you thought he couldn’;t get more insane, he started walking away from the car. Your heart squeezed in your chest. Was he going to leave you here? Like hell he was. You kicked open your door, shakingly getting out of the car. You were vaguely aware of the stab of pain at your side that nearly had you doubled over as black spots danced in your vision, but you willed yourself to push it aside. You slammed the door shut as you walked out after Loki. 

“Hey!” You yelled out to him. You had no idea if he could even hear you with the way the wind howled and snow whipped at your face. It was freezing cold, snow biting your cheeks and your teeth chattering after being out here for less than a few minutes. “Laufeyson!” You yelled louder, arm clutching your side and limping in the direction he walked in. No answer. You were positive a storm was kicking up. 

“Loki!” You screamed this time, as loud as your voice let you. Your chest heaved, your throat hurt, and the air you gulped stung so bad you were so close to never breathing it again. 

“Loki! God help me, Loki, when I find you!” You looked around slowly, yet all you saw was the outline of your stolen car in the winds, and white. So much white. “I’ll haunt you, you know!” You shouted into the wind. “If I die here, I’ll haunt you forever!” You had to shield your eyes from the harsh snow as you yelled. You knew he couldn’t hear you, but you also knew that he couldn’t have gotten too far. How long could he even last out here? Damn it, he could probably last a while. 

Stupid, horrible, arrogant Loki. You contemplated going back to the car, but decided that if you were going to imagine a million and one ways to kill and haunt Loki for eternity, you might as well do it while freezing out here. You were only at number fifteen of your haunting possibilities when you heard his stupidly smooth voice. “What in the Nine Realms do you think you’re doing out here?”

You whirled around to find him standing there, absolutely unaffected by the weather or your situation. His cheeks were rosy and his pretty hair was up in a bun (that was more falling apart than anything) and pretty snowflakes hung in the curls. 

He looked….well. He looked heavenly, to say the least. 

“I was out here looking for you,” You shot back as harshly as you could, but with the way your teeth chattered and the small smirk that tugged at his lips, it didn’t seem to be working. “You should have stayed in the car,” He sounded almost…angry. Why the hell would he be angry when he left you behind? Although, the frown and furrowed brows were a little cute. “You shouldn’t have wandered off and left me behind,” “I was coming to get you,” “Like hell you were,” “I was,” He stepped closer to you, and you had to hold back everything to not huddle up closer to him like a goddamn penguin. He snapped his fingers and you felt something warm and heavy fall on your shoulders. “Put that on. We’re leaving,” 

“Leaving?! Where the hell are we leaving?! Do I need to remind you that we are stranded in the middle of a storm?!” 

Loki grumbled as he forcefully got you into the jacket he conjured. You didn’t bother saying thank you, which was fine because he only kept glaring at you before marching ahead. 

“Where are you going?!” He didn’t bother answering. “Loki!” Assshit. You grumbled and huffed the entire time as you hurried after him, trying to block off the tingling ache at your side. You knew you didn’t get stabbed. Maybe it’s a big cut. You were certain you’d know if a knife had lodged itself into your side. 

You had no idea where Loki was taking you but you kept your mouth shut in hopes that it was someplace warm and safe. 

“Your hair looks like shit,” You blurted out. Okay, maybe not always keeping your mouth shut.

He looked at you from the corner of his eye. “You don’t look much better,” “Yeah but I said it first,” “Maybe I should have left you in the car,” “I would’ve still found you,” “Yes, haunting me forever,” “You heard that?!” He shrugged. “I was heading back to the car. You weren’t exactly quiet,” You stared at him with wide eyes. “And you didn’t even say anything,” “I found it too amusing to interrupt,” You frowned, shoving him with your shoulder. Wrong move apparently, because your vision started spinning and your knees nearly buckled. Loki wrapped an arm around you ever so gently, as if scared you’d shatter otherwise. “Stop talking,” He snapped. “And stop being so damn aggressive. I would like to make this journey without you collapsing on me,” “I’m not going to collapse,” You mumbled. “You always were a terrible liar,” He muttered under his breath, and more or less carried you to your destination. At first, you didn’t let him, but he won eventually, like he always did, and you leaned the rest of your weight onto him. 

You had no idea where you were until you reached the smack middle of a small town. A picture perfect fantasy, almost. Little houses and small shops lined with lights and trees and covered in snow. It was like stepping into a Hallmark movie. Each house was so full of light, and even through the howling wind, you could hear the sounds of laughter and shrieking children. 

How the hell did Loki find this place? “There’s a motel here. We’ll book rooms, spend the night. I’m sure there’s Wi-Fi too,” Loki sounded like he was talking more to himself than you. 

“Freaking out?” You asked. 

“Yes. I’m thinking of which way Stark will kill me if you die,” “Pfft. Tony wouldn’t kill you,” Loki raised his eyebrows but stayed quiet as he walked you both through the town. The storm was clearly picking up, and you were thankful that he had all those genes to keep him alive in this weather, and that he was able to find this place. 

When you reached the motel- which appeared to be the only one in town- you couldn’t help smiling (even if you couldn’t feel your face at all anymore). It was a cute little building, rustic and heartwarming. Little snowmen lined the front, and a bed jingled as you and Loki entered. The inside was even better, with burgundy and gold designs and wallpaper that looked like it came straight out of a Victorian novel. It was cozy, and more importantly, warm. 

You almost sobbed in relief as you practically collapsed onto an armchair by the counter. Your body sank into it, your nerves singing in joy as you slowly felt your fingertips again. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked. 

You nodded. “Yup,” He made a sound of disapproval. “You need to lie better,” “Go shove your head through the wall,” You muttered back. He only grinned. Loki didn’t even appear fazed or relieved at the warmth, and simply marched up to the counter. There was no one there, and he rang the bell at least five times. 

“Would you stop that?” You snapped after the sixth time.

“It’s a bell. It’s meant to be used,” “Not like that,” “It’s how you call for attention,” “Well I’m sure whoever runs this place will be here shortly,” He lasted a whole two minutes before he hit the bell again. 

“Loki,” You hissed. 

“Just a minute!” You heard a cheery voice call from the back, and a short old lady appeared, seemingly out of breath. “Sorry about that, all those damn stairs,” She chuckled to herself.

Loki flashed her a smile. “It’s not a problem at all,” “Oh my,” The old woman smiled back but this time you swore up and down she blushed a little. 

Loki and his stupid, disarming smile. 

“My…friend and I are a little caught in this storm,” He started, gesturing to you. You waved weakly at the lady and mustered up a smile. She probably thought you were crazy. You had no idea how you looked, but you knew it wasn’t how a normal person should. 

“We were wondering if you had any available rooms for the night. Just two is fine,” He turned back to the lady with an even bigger smile. 

“Well,” She smiled wider at Loki. “I’ll see what I can do,” He nodded, “Thank you…” he squinted at her name tag. “Lucy. Thank you very much, Lucy,” And there Lucy went, blushing and grinning at him again. 

Horrible, absolutely tragic. The poor woman had no idea how insufferable Loki was. 

Lucy rummaged through her desk, seemingly looking for keys to the rooms. She pulled out one, placing it on the counter, before going back to look for the other. You waited, tagging your foot on the wood floor, staring at the cute fireplace. Your whole body hummed in gratitude, and your feet tingle, feeling back in them. 

“Oh dear,” Lucy muttered to herself. 

“Everything alright Lucy?” Loki asked. 

“It seems that I only have a single room available. This storm has the place booked fully,” She explained. 

Hell no. 

Loki sighed. “Very well-” “Are you sure?” You interrupted him. “Can you check again?” You probably sounded desperate, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You can’t share a room with Loki. You’d go crazy. You’d do something disastrous- like give in to the urge to cuddle into his chest! Or God forbid, tangle your hand in his hair. 

“I did, hon. I’m afraid this is all I’ve got,” She said apologetically. 

Fuuuuck. 

“It’s quite alright, Lucy. There’s two beds in the room, correct? I’m sure we can manage to share a room for a night,” Loki said hastily before you could interrupt again. 

Lucy opened her mouth, as if to say something else, before she stopped. “Alright,” “How much is it for the night, darling?” Oh okay, he was really laying it on thick then. 

“Oh- oh um…” Lucy chuckled nervously. “This room….it’s 150$ for the night. You can pay in the morning, if you prefer,” “Nonsense,” Loki smiled, pulling out cash from the pocket in his top armour, counting the bills. “Here you go, Lucy,” He handed her the money. “Thank you so very much for your help,” She nodded wordlessly as she handed him the key. Loki took it and turned back to you, arms on his hips. “Are you coming, or must I carry you?” “I wouldn’t mind being carried…” You started jokingly. Apparently, Loki couldn’t read the room, because he frowned, shrugged and then walked over, picking you up effortlessly. 

“Hey-!” You started to protest, but a sudden wave of pain shot through you, shutting you up. “I was joking,” You muttered.

“Mhm,” He said, shooting Lucy another smile before heading upstairs to your room. The stairs were cute too, you noticed, lined with a soft matt and cute lamps lined the walls. And Loki’s chest was really warm, and- that had nothing to do with the motel. 

Before your thoughts could get any more dangerous, Loki stopped in front of a room, hand rummaging through his back pocket to get the key. “You can put me down now,” “I’ll put you down when I feel like it,” Shithead. 

He unlocked the door and stepped in, closing it behind him with his foot. All businesslike, he walked over to the big bed and placed you down on it. It was comfy, and you had to control yourself from not falling back and getting it dirty in all your blood and gore. Loki looked you over. “Fine?” You nodded. “Fine,” He smiled and you were certain he was going to call you a liar but you stopped him. “Laufeyson?” “What?” “Where’s the other bed?” Loki froze, looking around the room slowly. “Oh,” “Oh?” He looked back at you. “It seems, darling, that there is no other bed,” “No fucking shit! You’re sleeping on the floor,” He looked at you in disbelief. “Absolutely not. We can share the bed like civilised people,” “Everyone always says that! And then it never works out!” You threw your hands up. You winced, immediately dropping your hands to hold your side. “Everyone? Who the hell is everyone?” “The movies, duh,” He stared at you. “You’re serious,” “Dead,” He ran a hand down his face. “Alright. We’ll split the bed or something. I truly don’t care enough. I simply want to sleep,” You shrugged. “Fine. Go shower first, then I’ll go in,” “I don’t have clothes to change out of, genius,” “You’re a god genius,” You replied mockingly. “I’m pretty sure you can snap your fingers and get us some clothes,” He stared at you, like he hadn’t had that thought at all. “Right.” And indeed, with a snap of his fingers, a pile of clothes appeared on the bed, and one in his hands. “Try not to get yourself killed,” “I hope you drown in the shower,” He smiled at you before heading into the washroom. You were finally alone, even for a few minutes. You breathed a sigh of relief. Being around Loki always ended with one of you flustered. Tragically, it tended to be you. You looked through the pile of clothes Loki summoned- a plain shirt that appeared way too large, and some plaid pants. They weren’t outrageous. You just had to make sure you hadn’t lost any limbs. 

You slowly peeled off the layers of your top- the jacket, weapons, cash, your useless comms and phone- and then unzipped your equally-useless-in-the-cold vest. You laid all your things on the floor, not wanting to get the bed dirty. Then, slowly, you lifted your top just under your chest, sucking in a deep breath.

Fuck. 

There was a nasty looking cut, starting from right under your ribs and nearly crossing the other side. You didn’t think it looked terrible, but you are almost certain it needed stitches. It wasn’t bleeding too much, but that might have to do with being out in the cold for too long than anything else- even your top was more or less soaked in blood. 

You didn’t even have a first aid kit. You traced around the cut slowly, wincing when it hurt. You prayed it wasn’t infected. 

“Alright, hm?” Your head snapped up to see Loki freshly showered and changed, his now useless mission suit nowhere in sight. “Um, yeah, I’m fine,” His jaw ticked. “You’re hurt,” “Yeah but I’m fine,” “You are bleeding,” He sounded ...angry. Was he mad at you? “It’s not like I did it on purpose,” You snapped. 

He clenched and unclenched his fists. He opened his mouth to say something, before he shook his head and stormed out of the room. 

“What the fuck? You called out after him. He didn’t answer as the door slammed behind him. 

You had no clue why he had to be so mad. It’s not like you chose to get hurt, and you certainly weren’t going to ask him for anything, so why’d he get so pissy? You grumbled to yourself as you grabbed the clothes, heading into the bathroom to scrub off the day. 

It took you a solid twenty minutes to wash everything out. You were very careful to not open your cut further, taking warm water to wash off the dried blood around it. 

You tugged on the plain shirt as you stepped out of the bathroom. You winced when you reached up to tie your hair, deciding to just leave it down to dry. You had thrown your old clothes on the pile of Loki’s in the bathroom, and used a spare towel to press against your wound. 

“Welcome back,” You said sarcastically when you found Loki sitting on the bed. 

“Come here,” He said curtly. 

“You can’t just order me around after you walk out you know? And you can’t get bitchy with me for no fucking reason-” “Will you please come sit down so you can look at your wound,” Loki snapped, but it didn’t sound harsh. It was almost…pleading. You froze in your spot, blinking slowly at him. His voice sounded devastated and in your daze, you nodded, slowly walking over to sit on the bed beside him. 

“May I?” He gestured to your shirt and you nodded again. He lifted it over your head, and suddenly you were thankful for putting on the sports bra Loki brought with your clothes.. “You didn’t say anything,” He whispered. 

You swallowed. This was too freaky. You never got this close with Loki. “We-...we had other things to worry about,” You swore his hands trembled as he reached into the first aid kit beside him. Where did he get that? Did he run out to buy one? Damn it. You and Loki didn’t do fluffy shit. The one day you needed him to be an asshole….

He took his time cleaning the wound, and you tried your best to keep your yelps of pain down. 

“Do you want stitches?” Loki asked in a soft tone. He looked ...frightened. And why too pale. Did he get squirm-ish at this stuff?

“Are you a medical professional?” You asked. 

“Farthest thing from it,” You hummed. “Just wrap it up,”

He nodded, grabbing some cotton pads and the gauze. He carefully placed the pads onto the wound, and began wrapping the gauze around your waist. His fingers brushed against your skin, and you shivered at the touch. 

“There,” He exhaled, pulling his hands away. “You can put your shirt back on,” “Yeah,” You nodded. You should definitely grab it now. You should probably put it on. But you didn’t move a muscle, not with the way Loki stared at you, and the way his eyes dipped lower occasionally. He looked away, appearing flustered, his fists clenched on his thighs. “Loki?” “What?” He snapped. 

“Why are you so angry?” “You could have died,” His voice died down to nothing but a desperate whisper. “You could have died,” You opened your mouth to protest, to say that you had it under control and that everything was fine, but he shook his head. 

“Don’t you dare say everything was ‘fine’. You’re still such a terrible liar,” You weren’t. He just had that freaky ability to tell when you lied every damn time. 

“You could have died. Human life is so horribly fragile, you could have died at any second. What was I to do then, hm? Stare at your lifeless body?” “I thought you’d rejoice at my death,” You joked, trying to break the tension. His eyes snapped to look at yours, his jaw clenched and his eyes wide with fear. You thought he’d say something, but instead he just leaned in, crushing his lips harshly against yours. Before you could even react, he pulled away, breathing heavily. 

“I would have died too. In the simplest terms, my heart would have stopped working the minute yours did too,” You froze in shock, staring at him with wide eyes. What just happened? Your lips tingled from the kiss. You wanted him to do it again. “What the hell are you saying, Loki?” “I’m saying that you are incredibly stupid and idiotic and completely selfish. And that I would rather die than live a life without you in it,” He started, his tone angry and desperate. Your head was spinning. Maybe there was drugs in the linen of this bed. Or maybe Loki hit his head. 

“Say something,” Loki pleaded now, the fight gone from him. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. I can’t help myself. I go crazy every time you’re around. I can’t think straight and I….I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never done this before. I thought perhaps if I annoyed you enough, I’d get you out of my head. But Norns, every time you shot some clever remark back, it only egged me on more,” He was rambling at this point. 

You felt confused, but at the same time a sense of relief washed over you. It wasn’t like you were in love with Loki- but you definitely didi entertain the idea of occasionally making out with him or spending the day shopping together. 

So maybe it was a little crush. 

And fuck, it was a relief to hear him blurt out how helpless he was with you. 

“Did you black out?” Loki asked. He cursed under his breath, getting up to give you some space. “I apologise, I shouldn’t have said anything. I came off too strong,” He fumbled as he stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I just…I panicked. I apologise-” “Loki,” You stopped him from spiralling further, even if it was cute to see his usually composed self dissolve. You shuffled over to him on your knees. Even while on the bed, he was still fucking giant. You cupped his face and pulled him down, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

You pulled away after a second, dizzy from the feel of his lips on yours. It was better than you could have ever imagined. He stared at you in shock, lifting his fingers up to press them to his lips. You nearly died right there. 

“What was that for?” he asked, shocked. 

You laughed, kissing him again. He leaned into it this time, wrapping his arms carefully around your waist, his lips pressing against yours. 

You kissed him again and again and again, until you were both breathless and his lips were swollen and you were sure yours were too. 

“You’re really fucking insufferable, by the way,” You muttered against his lips. He hummed, chasing after yours as you pulled away. “You drive me insane. You’re in my head all the damn time, I can’t get rid of you,” “Don’t get rid of me, then,” He captured your lips in another bruising kiss. “I don’t plan to,” You sighed happily as you shuffled back onto the bed, pushing aside bandages and gauze wrap and wipes. Loki was a lot neater, taking his time to put them away onto the night table. He crawled into bed with you, his body hovering over yours, hands on either side of your head, caging you in. He leaned down, pressing another kiss to your lips. One kiss turned into two, into three, and then you were making out lazily, your lips crushed together, heavy pants and heated breaths for god knows how long. Tragically, Loki rolled off of you, laying down beside you. You took deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart. 

Loki shifted, laying now on his side to look at you. You did the same, smiling softly. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

“If you couldn’t tell, I’m not quite a people person,” You chuckled. “No, I guess not,” He could be your person though.

Maybe that’s too early to say. You kept your mouth shut. 

“Did I come off too strong?” “Nah,” You shook your head, reaching out to wrap your finger around a lock of his hair. “It was a Hallmark-worthy confession,” “What in the Norns is this Hallmark?” You laughed. “It’s a company. It makes lots of cheesy rom coms, all of which have some sort of frustratingly handsome male lead and big confessions,” “So you’re saying I’m handsome,” He grinned devilishly.  

“Can’t deny it,” 

He leaned in and kissed you again. You kissed him back but then pushed him off. “Stop it. I’ll become addicted,” He leaned back in. “Not a problem. I have no plans to go anywhere,” You ducked away from him, laughing. “If you keep making out with me Loki Laufeyson, we will be having sex,” His brows furrowed. “Absolutely not. Not while you’re injured,” Damn. 

“Fine, then stop kissing me,” “Well that’s unfair. I just got started!” You shrugged. “It’s not my call,” He huffed, pulling you closer, your back flat against his chest. His arm wrapped carefully around your waist, the hand coming to rest just under your wound. “Go to bed then. Before I do something crazy,” “I like crazy. I’m quite fond of crazy,” “Yes, crazy seems to follow you everywhere. It might be your whole identity, really,” “Is that an insult?” A pause. “I don’t think so,” 

You fell silent for a minute. “I think Lucy has a crush on you,” Loki laughed. “What makes you say that?” “Um, the way she blushed when you smiled at her? You laid it on so thick,” You could hear the shiteating grin as he spoke. “I have no idea what you mean, darling. I spoke to her like a normal person,” “Hm,” You wiggled closer to him. “Nah, you definitely were charming her,” His hand squeezed your hip. 

“Stop that,” “What?” You feigned innocence. 

“Stop moving,” You wiggled your ass again, just for a bit of emphasis. “What? This?” 

You swore the sound he made then was some growl. “You find new ways to annoy me every day,” “It’s my talent,” “And you excel at it,” You truly did. No one ever got under his skin like you did. And now with this new layer of your relationship, you have an infinite number of possibilities. 

You knew you guys should probably talk. Figure out where you stand. A plan for tomorrow morning. Try to communicate with the team. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now though. Loki was warm, and as he peppered kisses across your shoulder, you felt like maybe tomorrow would be a good day too. 

“I still think you’re an ass,” You mumbled, your eyes half closed. 

He laughed, the sound vibrating in his chest. “Truly a terrible liar,” He pressed a kiss under your ear. “I still think you are the bane of my existence,” “The only one?” “The only one,” You hummed, content with the answer. You could figure things out tomorrow. Tonight, you just wanted to lay in this haze of sunshine. To sleep and wake up to get drunk on Loki again.

Tags: I'm gonna tag a few people because I think I'm silly and this is my second little christmas-y fic so what the hell i dont care LMAO. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ <3 @sarahscribbles @divine-knight-hand @holdmytesseract @joyful-enchantress @saturn-rings-writes

[arafilez]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ▰ ▰ ✶ WØRLD EPISØDE FIN: WILL ⪨

ㅤㅤ➛ ㅤiv.ㅤ ARRIBA 𒉽 kang yeosang❛ 𓇿

🥂̸̤ㅤㅤMDNI smut e2lㅤ ✸ㅤyou are sick and tired of this mission but you will do it, you will kill himㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ w: weapon usage, blood, extreme injuries, sex ㅤㅤ»ㅤㅤ wc: 4.5kㅤㅤ𠈔ㅤㅤ moodboard

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❛ lacuca racha, step in step cha cha . ❜

“Oh for fuck’s sake send someone else,” you scream at your mission email and threw your head back in the chair. This is stupid, this is absolutely and horrifyingly stupid. You have done this mission two times now and failed.

And it frustrates you.

You have never failed any mission and this new one which you have tried two times in the last month has brought you nothing but failure. It also made you injure badly at your waistline which is still in its healing phase but at least you can run and combat now. But suddenly the same mission is handled to you again after four weeks of resting period.

Kill Agent ‘K.Ys’ from Ateez.

Just on the day you come back.

Terrific.

You stand up kicking the chair in rage as it slams into the wall behind you and walk towards your boss’s office. Knocking on the door, you don’t bother waiting for a ‘come in’ as you strut inside and slam the papers on his table.

Your boss doesn’t turn around and maintains a calm demeanour as if he is expecting you and it infuriates you more as he slowly turns around to see you.

“Well, I see you got your mission,” he grins and you roll your eyes visibly.

“Sir, I am obviously injured, I have failed the last two times I tried this, you should be sending someone better,” you reason calmly even though just a few seconds ago you slammed the door.

He chuckles and you shiver at the underlying sarcasm in it and you look at him as he stands up. “For an agent, you are obviously not very clever, are you y/n?”

“Sir, I don’t understand,” you stutter out getting nervous at his figure. His eyes search your face and you shiver lightly at the thoughts which you are aware he is plotting in his mind.

“You are our best agent for this, you have done it two times, so you can do it again. The third time is a charm, as they say,” his voice suddenly turns sweet and cheerful and your doubts increase at his sickly tone, why is he behaving like this?

You decide not to question and nod your head wordlessly working your way towards the door as your hand lingers over the knob.

He was just being nice, right? Even though he did say you are stupid and suddenly changed his sentence to something better.

You turn around murmuring a quiet, “I will not disappoint you, Sir,” and leave. He is definitely up to something. And that something includes you.

You wear your tactical suit and make sure the guns and the knives are in place along with the small loop earring that acts as a laser. You carry another gun too this time because you don’t know how your meeting will go with K.Ys this time.

K.Ys and you are known for your notorious encounters. Your past meetings have been rather interesting.

Apart from your missions to kill him you have seen him multiple times in your stakeouts. The known-for-his-words seducer, the model-faced seducer of Ateez. As an enemy agent it went way beyond your ethics how the girls just lay on his feet.

K.Ys, whose real name is still unknown to you, is a man who has a way with his words. The amount of times he had tried to rope you in with his sweet words, and seductive language and the equal number of times you had almost twisted a knife in his body. Like is he hot? Yes, maybe, probably, definitely! But lying on his feet for that? Absolutely not, where are people’s dignity nowadays?

“One more sentence from that mouth of yours and I will twist you to death,” you warned him.

“I would like to see you try, my love,” he spoke with an enamouring smile that you had half the mind to slap it off.

So when you were finally assigned to eliminate him a month ago you could have never been happier. Finally you will get to see him shut up that too under your mercy. Too bad, he was actually really hard to kill.

The first time you were finally assigned to kill him you had walked past the wired barriers and quietly entered the abandoned factory you were given information as the temporary base for Ateez K.Ys. You had backup waiting out for your signal and you entered the password for the door only to be hit with an ‘Access denied.’ Your brows furrowed in confusion and you tried it again but the same red light popped up. You racked your brain and spoke through your earpiece about the problem only for your boss to yell that you were the one wrong and he should have sent someone better.

Getting annoyed at his continuous comments you yanked off your earpiece, put it in your pocket and tried again. Same result!

“What are you looking for sweetheart?” his deep voice interrupted you as your hands hovered over the lock. You turn around swiftly push him to the door and hold a knife to the person’s throat and he merely chuckles. The dim light showed off his perfect features as you tried to scan his face and there he was, in all his glory, K.Ys of Ateez.

You internally cursed yourself for tugging over your earpiece but maintained a stern stance as you spoke up, “Well, you are a lot more tolerable when under my knife, Agent K.Ys.”

He merely chuckled at your sentence and paid no heed to the knife in front of his throat as he said, “What a pleasant surprise!” His demeanour had a dangerous edge to it and you felt him scanning your face with his eyes he spoke up again, “I assume you are here to kill me?”

“Yes,” you shrugged and took out your gun to eliminate him. This was easy, your boss was worried for nothing. You hold it at his head and just as you were about to pull the trigger K.Ys vanished. You gasped out visibly confused and before you could act someone came behind your back and slashed you with a knife. The warmth oozed your skin as you groaned and turning around you saw the same man now smirking. The superficial cut was in the back of your mind now, as you ran and punched him in the face as he held your fist easily.

“Drooling over a hologram sweety? That’s how handsome I am, aren’t I?” he whispered and twisted your arm as you groaned in pain sitting on your knees. You definitely should not have pulled off that earpiece.

You slid on the ground kicked his shin and picked up your gun from the ground. “Too cocky, aren’t we?” you smirked swirling your gun in your hand.

“Oh darling, you should not try to kill me,” his voice increased in his pitch of seduction and you rolled your eyes kicking his stomach again and he groaned from the contact. Chuckling at him you aimed your gun but before you could shoot something hit the back of your head and you blacked out.

The second time, you were in disguise. You had information about the club he was going to and used his seducing skills for information and you readied yourself for it. A red sleek dress with a thigh slit, red heels, red lips, and red highlights in your hair. You put on a face mask and wore the thigh chain which would work as the recorder, hid the gun in your dress and attached a katana inside your shoe.

You walk inside the club getting induced by the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies. Emotionless, meaningless conversation filled your ear and made you wonder why you took up a job in this dimension.

Not wanting to dwell with your thoughts you made your way towards the back room and entered it. The first scene you saw made you roll your eyes as a girl ground on K.Ys as he whispered in her ears and she repeated it.

Suddenly his gaze fell on you and dark eyes glazed your body and you tried to discard the heavy feeling under his eyes checking you out. On the good side, your plan was up and working. You smiled through your face mask and he smirked back suddenly the person in front of him was of no use anymore as he made her get off his lap. You snickered to yourself as you saw her leaving without even one release and made your way towards him rocking your hips lightly.

“Oh babygirl, you found the right person for you,” he whispers as you straddle him and he circles his hand around your hips. His heated gaze made you light-headed as you scolded yourself and you’re hormones for it but you returned it back and slowly kissed the corner of his lips.

“Teasing me now?” he voiced out as another hand caressed your waistline and you pulled your hair to the side exposing your neck area. His eyes landed on your neck as he kissed your collarbones and made his way up. You pulled up your leg and circled it around his waist and the katana was almost out. You just have to push it inside him.

“So pretty,” he kisses your jawline and starts sucking on it as you moan out a little too loud for your acting but tighten your hands around the katana. You had to kill him.

Your eyes widened as you felt a dagger pierce your waistline making you limp against his figure. It is twisted in and a strangled cry left your throat as you fell. You looked up through hazed eyes and watched him leave before backup arrived.

Your mind fills with hatred towards him and the way you felt your weaknesses emerging and you decide that this time you will do it. You will kill K.Ys.

You walk inside the alley with the white cloak wrapped around your body and head to kill K.Ys for the third time. To say you are desperate to kill him is wrong. You are more than desperate. You are sick and tired of your boss treating you like a toy, sending you on the same mission and trashing you when you return unsuccessful.

This is stupid in more ways than one.

You look around subtly keeping a watch for him and clutch the gun at your hips. You have to do it, you have to kill him. And you have to get out without getting hurt.

Yeosang knew you were coming, all courtesy of Wooyoung and his twin’s hacking skills and he smirks to himself as soon as he hears Wooyoung through his ear-piece point out which one is you. He watches carefully as you go past him and shakes his head to himself. You are subtle, he will give you that. But he was able to notice your ministrations and continuous fidgeting.

He tilts his head to his side and walks towards the end of the alley and he is aware of the subtle footsteps behind him. He confidently goes towards the storeroom and doesn’t bother to look back.

You see him not turning as you pick up your pace and walk behind him. He opens the sliding door and slowly turn around and lock your eyes with him. Your hood is down as you take in his features slowly, the mint highlights below the black hair, his sharp nose bridge, a remarkable face and the sheer suit he was wearing.

And you run.

He only watches, one eyebrow-raising at you and you take your gun and click the trigger multiple times. Yeosang simply dodges the bullets and you run faster and enter the storeroom.

The door shuts behind you and your senses click. This was a trap and you walked right into it. Nevertheless, you clutch your gun and look around.

You click on your gun lightly and discard the cloak. Crouching below you hide yourself behind the numerous boxes and your feet silently trudge the ground.

“You are the pawn again, y/n?” you hear K.Ys’s voice boom through the factory and he somehow knew your name. You resist the urge to get up and get a look at him and shoot the bullet.

Yeosang clicks his tongue and continues, “But you are too pretty to be killed.”

Your blood boils at his words and before you can think with your mind, you get up and fire a bullet in his direction. He dodges it pretty easily and chuckles saying, “Don’t use up all your bullets, babygirl.”

You walk towards him as you say, “I will if it means you will be dead for good.”

“Full of spite now, aren’t we?” he smirks tilting his head and walking towards you. Your eyes travel down the muscles twitching under his sheer sleeves and your eyes wander on them a bit before you regain your posture and cock your gun at him.

“Oh darling, you may not want to kill me,” he says his voice turning sickly sweet and you let out a sarcastic laugh and say, “Keep repeating those sentences K.Ys and-“

“My name is Kang Yeosang, love, learn it,” and as soon as he says that you push him towards the boxes as some of them tumble behind and hold the gun to his head.

“The only difference between the last times you said those sentences is that you lived and today you will die, Kang Yeosang” you reply, your eyes glazing over the man at your gunpoint, a satisfied smile tinting your lips.

Yeosang tilts his head in amusement and swiftly yanks your hand on the gun towards him making you stumble over his figure for a millisecond and suddenly you are the one pinned to the boxes. You two keep fighting with good amounts of defence. You kick him on the knees making him groan after some seconds but he quickly gets up and pushes you to the nearest wall glaring at you.

You glare back at him and as if a switch goes on inside Yeosang he says, “Are you sure you aren’t here just to have a good time? Did your boss send the good girl to have a taste of my dick?”

“Shut the fuck up, I hate you,” you grit out pushing him but to no avail and he laughs looking at you, his deep laughter echoing through the storeroom. He pins your hand behind you stands up against the wall properly and hovers over your figure.

“And I hate the way you laugh so much at your useless teammates’ lame jokes, but we are not on complaining basis now, are we?” he challenges and your eyes scan his face. In all your six months of countless encounters of his arrogance and your stubbornness you might have realise that, in fact, he really is good looking.

“Playing hard to get won’t get you anywhere, darling,” he purrs and you whimper as your mind travels places. Blame Yeosang’s seductive words, or his deep voice, or you not being able to get a good fuck for years now your mind pauses to think. You feel yourself getting lightheaded at his words.

He is a seducer for god’s sake, of course, he is good, and you are here to kill him so get your priorities straight, your mind screams at you. A pathetic whine leaves your throat when you feel Yeosang lightly kissing the skin behind your ear, his hands hovering over your waist hovering a bit.

Fuck priorities, you scream internally and your reactions amuse Yeosang as he grips your hips tighter and you moan at him whispering right into your ear, “Just as I thought, you are all talk and no bite.”

You gasp loudly and open your eyes to see him. The well-lit storeroom accentuates his features as you see his dark, lust-filled eyes boring into yours. You take in his face that looks like a sculpture and you curse the Gods for making a man this beautiful.

“I hate you so much,” you breathe heavily and watch his eyes run all over your face before grinning, “That’s not new, tell me something I don’t know.”

“You can’t get information from me, Kang,” you glare at him and you see a shift in his eyes as it locks with yours, “Are you sure you want this?” You stare at him dumbfounded, you mind clouding at the thought of his hands being pressed to your body, his mouth leaving warm, open kisses and you a whine leaves your throat. “Fuck yes,” you say.

He smirks at your answer pressing his lips at the base of your jaw. You feel his nose brushing along as his soft lips imprint on your skin and you throw your head back to the wall. Your hormones are acting up too wildly for your own good.

“Yo-You are fucking insane,” you breathe out and he merely smirks saying, “You are the one falling apart when I have barely touched you princess.”

“I need you,” you whine pathetically, the thoughts of killing him at the back of your mind. You can kill him after he fucks you for all you care. You will think about your dignity some other time too. Right now you just need him inside you.

He sucks your neck harshly at your words, his teeth clashing on your skin making you cry at the contact. He pulls back shortly admiring his work and presses his lips to yours. You kiss him back and the kiss is everything but soft, tongues fighting for dominance, teeth clashing and you groan as you fill him manoeuvre you by clutching your head and pushing it closer to his.

A string of saliva interconnects you two as he leaves your lips and presses light kisses, unsure fingers hovering over the zipper of your body suit. His breathless features and messy hair send a rush down to your core making you grow impatient by every second.

“Yeosang just take it off,” you whine and he is quick to tear it off your body and drinks in your sight. He feels himself getting hard as he slides off your panties and inserts his digits pushing them in with no mercy.

A strangled cry leaves your throat at the sudden contact while Yeosang pushes his fingers inside scissoring you open. “Fuck princess, so wet, only for me isn’t it?”

Your malicious words dry at the back of your throat and you can only mewl, he smirks at your fucked out state saying, “You were talking big a moment ago, what happened now?”

A half-whine half-gasp leaves your throat at his words and he continues, “Boys here can’t fuck you like this can they, princess?”

“N-no they can’t, oh my god,” you gasp as Yeosang’s finger hits your G-spot repeatedly making you dizzy and you hear the slick sounds of your clit filling the room. Pressure builds up in your stomach and Yeosang can feel it too with the way you are clenching around him making him pull away,

A disappointed grunt leaves your lips and you mutter, “Asshole.”

“Keep talking like that and I will leave you here to fend for yourself.”

“You are so full of yourself.”

“And you are about to be full of me but you don’t see me complaining do you?”

You shut up soon and feel your mouth watering as he takes off his suit and you stare at the bulge in front of you. He smirks at your reaction pushing you back to the wall.

You cry loudly as he pushes his cock inside you and grip his shoulders and he gives you time to adjust. As soon as you nod he thrusts into you repeatedly broken whimpers falling from your lips. He groans himself but still takes his chance as he intakes your figure and says, “I wonder what your boss’s reaction will be after he knows his ‘best agent’ got fucked senseless by K.Ys.”

Your nerves heighten at his words, at the knowledge of your boss, at the fact that you are in fact supposed to be killing and you mewl a quiet “faster” to him as he pounds into you relentlessly. Your throat feels dry and you can’t even form a proper sentence as he abuses you hole, hitting in the right place every time.

“Come on princess, don’t be so quiet now. Show some gratitude for being fucked as you deserve and moan my name,” Yeosang hoarsely speaks up and you let out broken and loud moans at his words.

“That’s right, nobody can fuck you as I do, can they babygirl?” you scream at his words saying, “No, o-only you.”

“C-close,” you mumble at him, your senses at the peak of not getting your release earlier and he pushes himself in again saying, “Yeah? Well, I don’t know if I should let you come yet.”

“Shit, Yeo please,” you cry out at his words and a teasing smile lingers on his lips at the nickname and he whispers, “Okay love, cum, let go for me.” A loud moan of his name leaves your throat as you finally get to release and he thrusts himself through it coming soon in the condom after you.

You pant heavily your legs feeling like jelly and he pulls himself out and murmurs a small “I got you”. He holds your waists, makes you sit down and kneels in front of you carefully.

“What the hell are you doing to me Kang Yeosang?” you whisper as you see him cradle you, your head falling on his shoulders as he picks up your gun, katana and suit and keeps them beside you.

“You are supposed to kill me,” you whisper but Yeosang pays no heed to your words as he scans your body for any mark that would hurt. His eyes stop on your own, and you feel delusional as his soft brown ones hold your gaze. No way in hell is he now going all soft on you!

“Why do you always let your boss treat you like a pawn?” he whispers and you rest your head on his shoulders again. Your eyebrows furrow at his sentence and ask, “What do you mean?”

“You are like a suicide bomber to them, they send you to lure me and then try to kill both of us,” he says softly, one hand caressing your hair but suddenly you hold the hand and yank him away. You glare at him, the light constriction in your throat becoming worse every second. Just the time you thought he is being nice!

“Stop with the brainwashing, if you want to kill me do it now,” you grit your teeth, eyes seething with anger and he sighs handing you your earpiece. “Listen for yourself,” he says but you ignore him. You put on your suit hurriedly and he watches you as you put on the earpiece.

Your ears feel the familiarity of the machine as you are about to pick up your gun and suddenly your boss’s voice floats in your ear.

“She is dead already I think, easier for us, you know K.Ys is in there so kill him, go.”

You stop dead on your track and suddenly everything hits. Your boss’s weird change in behaviour, his fake smiles, him handing you this mission specifically. But how did Yeosang know?

“Yeosang, h-how did you know?” you look up at him and he watches you slowly pick up your hand, clutching the gun so tight he can almost see your knuckles whitening.

“I saw them attack you both times and we saved you the second time,” he speaks nonchalantly as if saving your enemy agent is the most normal thing ever. Your eyes float with confusion and thus Yeosang explains it in short.

Yeosang saw the figure behind you hitting your head and he quickly called for their fighting team. Before the person can even touch Yeosang, San jumps in and kills him. His eyes moved to you and Yeosang shrugged confused as to why your people were trying to kill you. Seonghwa quickly pulled him out of there but his eyes lingered on your figure but left you there.

The second time Yeosang looked up in horror when the same man who slashed your waistline pounded on him. Yeosang had skills and fought the man and soon was assisted and after they made sure he was dead he looked at you.

“They keep sending her as a pawn,” Seonghwa voiced his thoughts and Yeosang contemplated sometime before saying, “Should we bring her back to base?”

“Hongjoong is gonna kill you,” San whispered but looking at your unconscious face he sighed saying, “Fine, we will treat her and then leave her at her house with a sedative.”

Your house was pretty easy to find, all courtesy to the push-and-pull couple of Yunho and Wooyoung’s twin, as they treated you fast. Hongjoong seethed with anger but got defeated when Yeosang told him the plan. He has never seen Yeosang this worked up for anyone and even though it worried him, he knew he was treading another fire himself.

Yeosang, with the help of Mingi, had dropped you off at your house, with a perfectly clean bandage and with one last lingering look your way they had gone away.

“Is that why I was at the doorstep of my house?” you ask him softly and he nods unable to meet your eyes and you exhale. You were a pawn to them, a person they would happily kill for their sake. You, their best agent, were just prey to lure the predators.

“I might have hated your guts when we met a few months ago, but I don’t let anyone get treated like a pawn, and besides, you are not a bad person,“ he says, his mind hovering over his outburst at seeing you injured. He was very close to killing everyone who tried to kill you.

“Can I join you guys, take revenge here and go back to the A-dimension?” your sudden question makes Yeosang look up at you. He didn’t question why you were here in the first place but nodded.

“You still have to meet Hongjoong though,” he trails off unsure as he steps in front of you. A mixture of his cologne and sweat hits your nose and you sigh contently. You could get used to this. You could get used to him.

“I think he will like me considering how good I am at combat,” you smile lightly looking at his face and he shrugs, a light laugh falling from his lips as you continue, “And considering his seducer actually fell for one woman.”

“That’s a lie,” he scoffs but can’t resist it when you press your lips against his encasing him in a soft kiss. He kisses you back, his hands caressing your cheeks and you smile making him smile too.

You pull back staring at his eyes, deep in affection, and say, “Right, because you wait for consent and kiss the informants like this after too?”

“Shut up,” he groans and you laugh at his shy demeanour.

Holding his hands you say, “Call your fighting team, I want to show these Z-dimension bitches what their ‘pawn’ can do.” 

✸ㅤ ara's notesㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ yeah, this one is changed, i improved it lmao ㅤㅤ»ㅤ series mlistㅤ ateez mlist ㅤ main mlist ㅤ naviㅤㅤ𠈔

✸ㅤ taglistㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤ @haneagerr @tunaasan @evidive @huachengsbestie01 @philijack @atiny-lizbeth @chxnnii @nakiiko @therealcuppicake ㅤㅤ»ㅤㅤ comment here or in series mlist to be added or removedㅤㅤ𠈔

© arafilez on tumblr. please don't copy and repost my work as your own ▰▰ ✶

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

This is just me rambling and stuff, and this is the only way i could get out my monty brainrot and a little bit of yves brainworm out of my head, but just ignore it if it's cringe or too insane

I think with the way Yves would take care of me thoroughly and know me so well would unsettle me at times, but ultimately it would probably cement his place as a comforting and caring platonic partner in my head 😭😭 cause i know i would be thinking like "oh! He's so inspiring! I think he's the perfect role model for how i should take care of myself and love the people close to me ^^" <- absolutely missing the point and every romantic gesture i would misunderstand (what lacking romantic experience does to a mf) as something he does with other ppl, even though i would imagine that he's barely seen with anyone else than his darling :'); or maybe he would account for the fact that i misunderstand things? But i have a feeling that he would catch on to the fact that I'm a bit of a blockhead

Imo i think that i would choose Monty over Yves, despite everything that he did for me; maybe because he's done so much for me, i would probably feel immeasurably guilty even if he does say he likes doing it and personally, the power imbalance in both his material and physical qualities as well as the lack of vulnerability would intimidate me 🫠🫠 errr in a way, Monty I love so much because of how loving, protective and accepting he is, he's got characteristics that are close to my type!! (might also be the fact that to some extent, he can be controlled :3); he's endearingly trying his best and flopping a lot, but at least he listens to valid criticism 🥰🥰 he's... Cute... And maybe because of the food too, since receiving and giving food is a big sign of love for me <3 His messiness is a bit of a charm to me, because personally it takes a lot of guts and vulnerability to show someone how messy you are physically and mentally, or well, maybe its pity over the depression mess 😔 One thing i want to know is if he'll ever get immune to his darling's romantic and sexual advances and throw it right back similarly? Or is still gonna be giggling and kicking his feet on the bed over it? And i wonder how his reaction would be towards a darling that starts off meek and quiet, but gets more dominant and pursues him as well? Man, i want this guy pegged <3 And to get him pregnant <3 I want to give him backshots that make him better or worse :3

Anyway, this is also a way of grieving over not choosing Monty over Cyprus 😔 because i read Cyprus first before Monty and i regret picking him for the poll 🤧 but, I'm looking forward to any potential Monty content and how this silly guy locks in or flop <3

Boy oh boy do I have the ask for you

Thanks for the ramble anon it was a good read 👍

Well Yves does act accordingly to your personality. If you are pretty clueless BUT would accept him as your ONLY romantic partner for life, he would be extremely straightforward, cutting to the chase and be clear in what he wants the relationship to be (it was exhibited in Best and Worst of Both worlds)

But if he predicts that you will reject him or eventually cheat on him later in the relationship despite all the measures to stop you from doing so, he will remain platonic. And his prediction model is horrifyingly accurate. Mans will even reject YOU if he knows you can't keep it in your pants 💔

Oh yeah if it's vulnerability you're looking for Yves is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT the man you're looking for homie 😭 he is THE fort knox of mental illness, you can (almost) never catch him lacking and is always locking in while Monty is human

Literally Yves isn't actually human anymore

Here are other pieces of writing that has monty in it, idk if you seen them yet but it was all clumped together with Yves's MASSIVE sections

What makes Monty wanna fuck you (the lower half of this post is just Yves waffles)

Montgomery as a dad (scroll to like half of it to skip Yves's part)

Yves isn't necessarily okay with being only a platonic yandere

[disasterbiwriter]

I always struggle to get the Lorelai/Rory banter to a suitably bouncy level, but I feel like I actually nailed it here - so enjoy!

(this is from my AYITL divergent will they-wont they on A03, so text beneath the cut if you don't want spoilers)

“Party hats?”

Rory snaps the elastic band under her chin in confirmation. “Ow. Check.”

Lorelai nods briskly. “Artfully assembled pile of Twinkies in lieu of a cake?”

“Oh, you mean the artful assembly I’ve had to redo twice because someone keeps eating the Twinkies and damaging the structural integrity?”

Her mother flashes a winsome smile. “The same.”

“Check.”

“And finally – disturbingly lifelike Tom Seaver piñata that we probably should have had checked for curses upon delivery?”

“Check, although I’m not certain it’s the final item.”

Lorelai gasps. “Rory! Are you making my dreams come true and telling me I should go back to the thrift store and get that punch bowl with the cups shaped like little ducklings?”

Rory laughs. “No.”

“Darling child, who squashed the whimsy from your youthful heart?”

“I live in New York. I’m statutorily prohibited from all whimsy.”

“Fine. What’s the final thing?”

“An explanation as to why you planned a birthday party for Luke that reads far more like a birthday party for Lorelai.”

Her mother presses a hand to her heart. “You’re saying you don’t think my beloved husband will appreciate all of this?”

Rory toasts her with her coffee mug. “That is indeed what I’m saying.”

“You’re correct. He won’t. It’s part of the ruse, my dear.”

“Oh, of course, the ruse!”

“Picture it!” Lorelai swishes out from the kitchen into the hallway; Rory gathers up her coffee and follows. Lorelai makes as though to open the front door. “The birthday boy—” Here she pauses, considering. “Birthday man?”

Rory responds, “Each option horrible in its own way.”

Her mom nods briskly. “Noted. Anyway, Luke enters! He sees his loving family and neighbors assembled, decked out for what appears to be a raucous celebration on par with the Arbor Day festivities of 2009.”

“I’m not sure we want to invoke that day. Kirk was never quite the same after that, and neither was our guest bathroom.”

“He is pleased,” Lorelai rattles on, “of course, to see everyone, and will bluster about how none of us needed to make a fuss. And just when he thinks he’s about to have to settle in for one of my patented party games and horrifyingly perfect Twinkie cake, everyone will wave to him and his charming bride as they abscond into their waiting carriage, which will take them to the northeast’s most elegant dining.”

Rory laughs. “So, Sniffy’s?”

“Sniffy’s,” Lorelai says with gusto. “Maisy will have his favorite meal, hot and waiting, and we will enjoy a quiet dinner, just the two of us. And the rest of you can enjoy the party – just sans the guest of honor.” She throws her hands up in the air and does jazz hands. “Ta daaa!”

[ferminadaz]

HANNIBAL

I find it funny that I haven't gotten down to watch the series earlier. The picture I used for the post, the most horrifyingly magnificent image from the series, is something that's been hanging on my wall for years, whilst I had no idea it was from the series, so you can imagine my pleasant surprise, when I saw it on the screen.

But to the series.

Of course I had to go down the rabbit hole of hannibal fandom on tumblr and though it doesn't surprise me that people are still rooting for season 4, I myself cannot identify with the sentiment.

Why? Because for once I'm not yearning for more. The story, for once, and for once in the longest while, feels complete. The story said everything it had to say, not less, not more, just enough. Usually, when I finish something that has such hold on my heart, I tend to go through everything concerning it, from youtube, tumblr to pinterest and fanfictions. I need to re-immerse myself in that particular story universe, exhaust it and enjoy it more. But for some reason, in case of Hannibal, I had no such inclination, even despite loving every second of the story.

I was trying to discern the reasons for that, since it's so unusual in my case. I think it's because it feels so intimate, as if I shouldn't interfere, only feel happy I was able to observe and enjoy it from afar. Maybe, the closer Hannibal and Will got, the bigger the distance between them and the viewer got. Gosh, I'll never cease to admire the intimacy the writers managed to create between the characters, it's such a rare sight really.

But back to the premise of this post - why there never should be a fourth season? The series have its charm precisely because it ended the way it did. If there was season four, things would have to be said explicitely, would have to be elaborated on, which would straight up collide with the whole motive of the series - the motive of unsaid and untangible.

We never get to feel Will's emotions, the minds of the killers, Hannibal's apetite, none of it. Nothing is said directly, only in a roundabout, concealed fashion of metaphors and similes. The magic would be completely lost if anything ever crossed the threshold of explicit.

And the creators made it abundantly clear in the final episode. It all came together: the "see?", the beauty, both of them, their relationship to themselves and also one another. It was the ultimate ending, phenomenally tied together. We know they survived and we shouldn't know more than that. Those three series have been a foreplay of intimacy between those two, can you imagine how intimate the fourth one would have to be? It would straight up feel like imposing, like breaking into someone's home to watch them change their dirty underwear.

The story, the chracters we knew, the era they went through, ended there and everything beyond is a story for another time, story unseen by anyone, their very own story.

I pray there will never ever be season four, let the sleeping beasts lie.

[asecretbooknook]

Book Recommendation: Silver Nitrate

Title: Silver Nitrate

Author: Silvia-Moreno Garcia

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars 

Montserrat has always been overlooked. She’s a talented sound editor, but she’s left out of the boys’ club running the film industry in ’90s Mexico City. And she’s all but invisible to her best friend, Tristán, a charming if faded soap opera star, though she’s been in love with him since childhood. Then Tristán discovers his new neighbor is the cult horror director Abel Urueta, and the legendary auteur claims he can change their lives—even if his tale of a Nazi occultist imbuing magic into highly volatile silver nitrate stock sounds like sheer fantasy. The magic film was never finished, which is why, Urueta swears, his career vanished overnight. He is cursed. Now the director wants Montserrat and Tristán to help him shoot the missing scene and lift the curse . . . but Montserrat soon notices a dark presence following her, and Tristán begins seeing the ghost of his ex-girlfriend. As they work together to unravel the mystery of the film and the obscure occultist who once roamed their city, Montserrat and Tristán may find that sorcerers and magic are not only the stuff of movies.

Goodreads Amazon Barnes & Noble

“Lopez says the living hold on to ghosts. You made a haunted house out of your own flesh and bones.”

Silvia Moreno-Garcia is a compulsively readable author, whether she’s tackling gods, noir vampires, or the nuances of sound editing in 1990’s Mexico City. In Silver Nitrate, she seamlessly weaves together the chaos and spookiness of stumbling into a creepy, decades-old magic trap into a background that manages to be both nostalgic and horrifyingly realistic.

Silver Nitrate follows trouble bisexuals Montserrat and Tristan, two thirty-something-year olds with a love for horror movies and their own brands of regrets. I loved these two. Montserrat and Tristan were so viciously raw, it was impossible not to care about their struggles–and the struggles were many. Morena-Garcia once again excels at giving us characters painted in broad strokes and letting us discover the nuances as we go along.

Montserrat was probably the one I related to the most from the pair, but Tristan (Tristan !!!)--he’s precious to me. Someone get both of these people warm blankets and some good Lebanese coffee because whew. 

The secondary characters felt equally real, from Abel Urueta to José Lopez to–ugh–Ewers. The cast feels compact, but also developed, and by the end of the book I truly knew them all, their present and past selves, and the ways they’d gotten twisted along the way.

The setting of Silver Nitrate was its own sort of character. Listen, I never lived in 1990’s Mexico, but I feel like I have? Moreno-Garcia does such a good job of dialing up all the sounds and feelings and trinkets that comprise an era, and she has such a knack for it. I think everybody who’s read more than one of her novels understands what I mean–her settings live and breathe (sometimes literally…, but only figuratively in this book). 

I read Silver Nitrate as a book in conversation with film and history and our current times, with the way we perceive genius and the forces we allow in our homes to satisfy our own ambitions. The evil present in the book feels real because it was and it is, beyond the supernatural, and Silver Nitrate captures that ominous feeling of danger perfectly.

The only reason this book gets 4 stars and not 5 from me is that the beginning felt slow, more so than I expected, and I found myself referencing the back cover to recall what kind of book I was reading. 

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review. 

[rimouskis]

okay inspired by @yabagofmalk I'm going to attempt to take the pens' numbers on my Spotify Wrapped and find a way to connect the song to the player.

we open with:

#87: Admit Defeat by Bastille

the universe has decided to make a mockery of sid with this song choice. ostensibly this song is about the futility of resisting your feelings for someone and needing to accept them, strong and inevitable as they are.

I admit defeat Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight but...

that lyric ends with "you." but sidney crosby, oh no, he knows the real way the lyrics end. the way they SHOULD end: Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight but... the crushing bitter taste of defeat. you think a song will get him to admit defeat? no. he bends the world to his will. he will swallow nothing. he will bend the very fabric of time to change the lyrics of this song. as we speak he's accosting dan smith in his recording studio and demanding he learns a more effective way to engineer sucess.

#71: СВБТ (Сатана всегда будет с тобой) by ЛЮТИК

once again the universe intervenes and gifts geno with a russian song. good. you think he's going to pay attention to english lyrics? as if.

this song is, however, about how satan is always watching you and you're doomed no matter what you do, so... much like geno, we get a nice peppy beat but he's only going to speak to the media when they team is playing like shit and someone needs to take the fall. go on, call him lucifer, he likes the drama of it all.

#58: GOD COMPLEX by Pkch

well. here. no lyrics, but a booming bass sensation that tickles the ears with plucky fun sounds. much like kris, this song spends most of its career shirking anything too serious and prefers a "no thanks" communication style, but it's charming and pretty-sounding so you'll let it slide. also it's called god complex; for a guy who's got a sense of pride, I think that's rather fitting.

#59: Kalahari Down by Orville Peck

You’ve been gone away, I’ve been riding around Running out the days, writing out a song On my daddy’s guitar Did you find your way? Skip another town? Said I couldn’t stay but it’s different now

correct, jake. your father, sidney crosby, let you borrow his "guitar" (puck, once, at practice) and then you unknowingly signed a contract to stay in pittsburgh for eternity to be sid's bestest, favoritest winger. congrats. you aren't skipping town. you signed your soul away and now you're sid's favorite child. welcome.

#8: Good As It Gets by Little Hurt

the first two lines of this song are as follows:

I'm not who I used to be I wouldn't know that guy if he was standing in front of me

need I say more? I needn't. sorry, dumo. tough luck but the crystal ball (spotify) doesn't lie.

#17: Dangerous by Set It Off

This is really my night, gonna take it right now Yeah, I'm feelin' like a Mack truck goin' downhill The people on the sidelines screaming "Slow down" But you can't kill my vibe

yeah, rusty, we're asking you to slow down because despite your enthusiasm, you are horrifyingly streaky and are also kind of compromising geno's line right now. if embodying a truck will get you your mojo back, then, please, by all means, go forth and drive, buster.

#16: Line Of Sight by ODESZA

jason's curse of being perpetually flung about the ice like a rag doll (due to his style of play, his incessant need to be a pest, and his OVERWHELMINGLY "ferda" personality) is Known to the almight Spotify:

I turn full circle round and round So will you help me down (help me down) Come grab my hand for solid ground

he does need a hand to help him off the ice every time he's been flung to it by his own enthusiasm and another player. someone help him out, please, he can't keep getting injured.

#35: About Love by MARINA

"I don't really know a lot about love", this song proclaims.

for dear tristan, we can shorten it:

"I don't really know a lot," period. or, if you desire: "I don't really know a lot about icing." maybe one day he'll figure it out. he's loved regardless.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

FINALLY. CREEPY BLACK 💥💥💥 THIS IS THE BEST THING EVERRRRR 💥💥💥💥💥💥 AUGHHHHHHH. SECOND FAVORITE SONG THATS FINAL. (but then again all the songs are so likeable and repeat-worthy i cant rank these all mf)

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SONG. AAAUHHHHH I love it so so much. I'm so glad I tried to read about creepy black before this came out so at least I'm informed - this is probably one of my favorite stories (as a pokepasta) as well mostly because it doesnt try to scare you with jumpscares but through the storytelling, and you actually have to play through the entire game to really understand wtf is happening. it's uncomfortable and unsettling and that's why I love it

okay but I do love how they interpret the characters here, it's a bit different from the original but it adds more charm to it if you will 💥i'm sure i said a lot of things in the rhys post that may repeat itself here but, im really fascinated by the idea of how ghost treats its innocent victims because in the game, we never really got to know what happens because it just cuts to black and its left to interpretation on how ghost "curses" the victims. red - or redwood now, as stated before is now an elderly pokemon professor, not a champion anymore. and he's currently trying to understand the incidents across kanto that has something to do with ghost - i like to think the incident is still ongoing but it has definitely affected the people with massive impact. he's now fortunate to come across the perpetrator, but has to bear witness to how it likes to play around with its victims. part of me thinks that carmine the victim is struggling to get out free, possessed (i cant see his pupils, which tells me he's PROOOBABLY possessed.) he's being treated like a toy so all he can do is just, panic really. be hopeless

the ending of the song is interesting to me because i personally dont know what does the ending mean. it's a jumpscare of carmine and ghost, but what does that entail? did redwood lose - and ghost is ready to take its next victim and use carmine to do it? who knows. i adore it a lot anyways

the song is so good. (listened to the instrumental so many times) i'm not very good at complimenting music but the faint whistle that i hear when the music gets at the meaty part is so fun because it sounds so OOooOoO spooky (ghosts DUH) i love it mwawma. chromatics are very good (however for the longest of time i assumed the deeper voice was for redwood and the raspy voice was for ghost bruhhh so it gave me a funny whiplash while i was playing JDSAKJFKGHSJ)

gameplay wise, i wasn't able to grab any leaks except for just a few seconds of the song so everything from here on out was new to me - the way they introduce ghost and carmine in the black background was so chilling, and i was playing in the dark first time. can you imagine seeing this poor kid float aimlessly in the air? in such a dragged manner and you see the horrifyingly overjoyed ghost just playing... and then red appears. i dont have much to say here i just loved it through and through :DD this song doesnt have much gimmicks but i really like how the arrows occasionally turn transparent which makes it harder for me to notice the arrows (combined with the habit of me wanting to stare at the opponent and the animations so i wouldn't notice the arrows appearing LMAO) i managed to beat this on first try! sure there were a lot of arrow spams but it was super fun nonetheless.

while i was recording my gameplay, i paused and came across rock carmine heeheheh look at him!!!!

[paytato435]

Chapter 7: Stability

Sunshine

Casey carefully noted the time he left the library and figured, with a little embellishment, he could easily explain away why he would be so late getting home everyday. And if he really needed help with homework, at least he’d have something to talk to Big Mama’s turtle about.

That sounded really boring. Maybe he shouldn’t do that.

But Angel had somehow made world history more interesting, and he could tell she was very interested in the subject. She went over the driest facts and notes and somehow turned it into legend. Which kind of amused Casey because she didn’t seem to be the type of person to be into such things. Well, who was Casey to judge? Appearances hardly meant anything these days.

Feeling more optimistic than he had in a while, Casey found himself arriving all too quickly to the Grand Nexus Hotel. 

As it turned out, Big Mama’s idea of getting her prisoners to socialize was to lock the both of them in the musk turtle’s bedroom. It was huge. Trophies, medals, and large paintings covered the four royal purple walls. There was a large armoire on the wall adjacent to him, and an ornate vanity across the room. Horrifyingly, there was the head of a stuffed ogre yokai mounted above the bed.

The bedroom also had a window looking over the arena- Casey had to admit, it was a pretty sick view. When he approached the glass, the girl followed him too.

“So, do you actually talk at all?” She just looked at him with curious brown eyes.

Cool, very cool.

“At least you have a good view of the arena. It’s something to watch. Are you in here all day?” 

The girl shook her head. Casey turned around and looked at all the paintings on the walls. Most of them were portraits of Big Mama’s champions; posing, dying, ripping apart their competitors. It was a little hard to look away from it all.

“This place is claustrophobic,” he whispered, more to himself than to the girl. He did a little circle of the room, before plopping down on the bed. “What do you do all day?”

The girl turned back to face the window and sat down on the floor.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Casey watched her for a couple minutes as she stared out at the arena. Far down below, Mama’s ever triumphant kraken swung its nasty arms at a horde of small mice yokai. Or maybe they were hamsters- they were too small and too far away to tell.

Casey sat back down next to the girl.

“Big Mama says you don’t remember anything from before she picked you up. Is that true? Are you a yokai, or a mutant like me? Do you even know?” the girl shrugged her shoulders.

“I wish we knew your name. Stinkpot is an awful thing for her to call you.” she nodded.

Without even really thinking about it, Casey signed; ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine, don’t worry,’ she signed back.

“Wait… you sign?” Casey jumped, scooting back and turning to face her.

‘Sometimes.’

“Do they know? Are you mute?”

‘No, sometimes I am mute.’

‘Yes.’ It was enthusiastic, as if she’d finally been understood.

“Do you want to talk, not out loud I mean, but-”

‘Where did you learn to sign?’ she asked.

‘My dad,’ he answered without thinking much about it. “And my uncles.”

“We used it for signals, mostly. I don’t know a lot more than the basics, just for like… when I need to be silent.” the girl nodded.

‘Where did you learn to sign?’ she shook her head. Right, of course she wouldn’t know that. 

‘Sorry.’

‘I don’t belong here,’ she signed, looking a little sad.

“No, you don’t.”

‘Can you get me out of here?’

Casey took a breath. He wished he could break her out of here. But he couldn’t help her. If he did, he’d lose his cloaking charm. He couldn't let that happen.

‘I can’t.,’ he signed. He hated lying to her, but he had to figure himself out first. He needed his cloaking charm back, he needed himself back. Instead, he changed the subject.

‘What do you know about yourself?’

The turtle leaned back and scrunched her face together, as if trying desperately to remember something.

‘I love yellow. It’s my color.’

‘Life color?’

‘Yes.’

“Like your patterns?” Casey asked, looking at the yellow markings on her cheeks.

‘Like… sunshine. Call me Sunshine.’

“Sure! I like that. We could use some sunshine down here.” That made her smile.

'You have a family.' It was a question, inviting him to talk about his least favorite subject.

'I… I had a family,' he signed slowly. 'They are all gone now.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It's fine. I…'

Casey suddenly realized that he was having a conversation with someone completely unrelated to his future. The younger versions of his family weren't there.

'Could I… tell you about my dad?' he signed, nervously.

He committed to the ‘dad’ title. Spelling sensei wasn't worth it.

'I don't have anything to talk about,' Sunshine shrugged. 'Free real estate.'

Casey almost smiled. What was wrong with him?

'He passed away just recently,' Casey explained. How many days had it been? Somehow the days past had run together. Too many had passed. The knot in his stomach reminded him there would only be more to follow. He was constantly moving away from that moment at what felt like a breakneck speed. 'I didn't get to say goodbye.'

'What happened?'

Casey inched closer to the glass and put his forehead against the cool surface.

'He saved my life. We were under attack.'

Sunshine scooted up closer and he turned his head to watch her sign. He kept his cheek glued to the glass. He felt a little stupid doing it, but it kinda felt nice, too.

'I'm glad you are safe.'

'You and I are similar,' he noticed. 'No family. No home.'

'Then where do you go?'

'When I am not here I have a place to sleep. I go to school now, I guess. But where I am…' he took a deep breath. 'I don't belong.'

'Then we also have that in common.'

Casey forgot he wasn't trying to share things. He had deliberately left that out earlier.

'My dad wanted me here, but I sometimes wish I was back home.'

'But you said your family is gone? How could you go home?'

Casey had thought about this more than he cared to admit. There was nothing in the future for him. Sometimes he wondered if he could go back there just to be a part of that ending. Would he die? Most likely. But he could die anywhere, at any time. At least if he was there he would go to the same place his family was.

'I don't think I'll ever see them again,' he realized.

'Yeah, that's kind of what being dead means.'

Casey grimaced. He had been leaving her out of his thoughts too much.

'I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense.' he paused. He was also tired of explaining himself. 'I see them in my dreams sometimes… my family.'

'I don't have dreams anymore.'

'You mean you forget them? Most people do.' 

'I'm not exactly sure. I remember what dreams are, but that's it.'

Casey nodded in understanding.

'Do you know what color you are?'

'I'm pink,' he signed, smiling shyly.

'How do you know?'

'How do you know you're yellow?'

Sunshine looked out the window. She looked frustrated.

'I just do.'

"My uncle told me mine a long time ago," Casey whispered, joining her gaze. "He said it represents love and family."

'Ironic.'

"You don't have to tell me," he pulled up his knees to his chest.

'What does yellow mean to you?'

"Do you know?" Casey asked curiously.

Sunshine shook her head. 'I just have a vibe.'

"Colors are 100% vibe-based," Casey confirmed. "If you're the same yellow as your arms, that represents stability."

Sunshine wheezed.

"Stability?" The first word she said out loud made Casey snap to attention.

"Uh, yeah. Like the sun always rising in the morning. Reliable, patient, eternal."

“It doesn’t sound much like me,” Sunshine huffed. ‘I don't feel very stable right now,’ she admitted, lowering her head.

"If it makes you feel better, some people think it's all pseudoscience anyway. The life colors, I mean."

Casey remembered Donatello saying something similar once. At one time he would have agreed with him, but after his run in with Angel today…

"At the end of the day, it's just you," he shrugged. "Even if it's just a vibe, I think it's helped me get to know you better."

Sunshine nodded.

"What will you do when I'm gone?" he asked her curiously. It had occurred to him that she hadn't answered his question earlier.

'Mama has me training.' Sunshine signed again. 'Running, fighting, there's two others I see and train with, but I'm Mama's favorite.”

'Others?' Sunshine nodded.

'They don't remember anything either.'

'Turtles?'

'No.' she paused and thought about it for a minute. 'A pig-like thing and a rhinoceros.'

'Your competition, then?'

Sunshine nodded.

'Mama wants me to beat them both at my debut or whatever. They are… much bigger than me.'

'Rhinos are pretty big.'

When Casey looked into her eyes, he could see she now looked very afraid.

'Sometimes I can't even walk. I forget how to move. I fall over all the time. I can't beat them.'

'Why do you fall over?'

Sunshine rolled forward to her hands and knees to get up in what was clearly a struggle. It was like watching a toddler try to stand. When she was upright, she used the glass for a moment to balance herself.

The struggle was all too familiar, and realization hit Casey like a toddler run over by a shopping cart.

She was just like him.

'”Give me your hand, Casey.”

Casey looked down at his three fingers.

“Don't look at your hand Casey, just look at me.”

Casey couldn't look away. This was impossible. His fingers moved in a way he didn't expect. He'd often thought the third finger would act like his ring and pinky fingers together, but instead it was as strong and independent as his middle finger. He still felt that connection to his ring and pinky finger in his head, but when he tried to 'move' them, nothing happened. Instead, he tapped his 'middle' finger to his thumb repeatedly; morbid curiosity and a lingering feeling of fright hanging over him.

“Are you going to sit there all day, bud?”

“It's weird,” was all Casey offered his sensei as the larger turtle sat down next to him.

Leonardo offered up his own hand, and Casey took it. They were the same now. Well, sensei's hands were much larger and calloused, but the point still remained.

“You have to get up and walk at some point, Casey.”

“Yeah,” Casey agreed, but it was so hard. Having a shell on his back completely threw off his balance.

“The more you do it, the easier it gets.”

Just like squats, or running, Casey thought. But he was back to square one. Sure the muscle was still there, but the memory was not.

Leonardo took Casey's other hand and gently pulled him off the bed. “Lean forward,” he instructed.

Casey grumbled but complied, keeping his weight forward, his head nearly bumping into Leonardo's plastron.

“Too far, Case,” the slider smiled.

He scowled up at his sensei, but that movement tipped him too far back, and he fell back onto the bed.

He heard his sensei suppress a chuckle.

“How do you do it?” Casey asked angrily.

“Just keep trying.”

So Sunshine was a mutant too. That was hardly surprising. Big Mama had probably erased her memory so she wouldn't try to escape. She might actually have a family out there looking for her. This was really bad.

But Casey couldn't tell her that. If she knew, she'd probably freak out like he did, and it took him ages to get used to his body again. She had two weeks. They needed to stay focused on the situation at hand.

"I see what you mean," Casey said as he watched Sunshine walk across the room. She was doing better than he had, for sure, but he noticed she swayed a bit sometimes, and she was all too focused on the walking to say or do anything else. Another reason why she didn't talk much.

"When I come back tomorrow, we should practice walking," Casey suggested, standing up and moving next to her. He tried to give her room, but he was ready to catch her if need be.

She stopped and looked at him with broken eyes.

'Humiliating,' she signed, wobbling.

Yeah, he knew the feeling.

-

When Casey was finally released, he actually felt a little lighter than when he came in. He felt almost confident. Sure, the others were going to have questions, but he actually had some people he could talk to that weren't… a living breathing reminder of everything that he had lost. Yippee.

“Are you sure you need this back turtley-boo? All those little rough edges make you look so pontiferably dangerous.”

“Yes.” Big Mama rolled her eyes and handed him back the black cloaking charm. He quickly re-tied it around his ankle, and in a moment, he was Casey again. He could breathe again.

“You can come by anytime as long as it is everyday,” Big Mama told him, also handing back his bag. “Don’t think of running away. I have a tracking enchantment on you. I know where you are, always.”

He had been wondering how she was going to keep track of him.

“I have a question for you, Mama,” he stated, standing back up.

“Yes dearie?”

“What have you done to Synth?”

“Why, nothing fidgetbun! Synth is too useful to me. He’s not going anywhere,” she sighed. “And I’m watching you both, so don’t get any more nasty ideas.”

That was a surprise. He didn’t think she’d want him around after all that she’d overheard.

“You don’t know the name of the game do you?” Big Mama gave him a calculating smile.

“I have an idea,” Casey clenched his fists. In a twisted way, they were depending on each other. “But I suppose you aren’t about to let him make swords for Leo.”

Big Mama giggled.

“I couldn’t care less what those idiots get up to. We’ll just have to see what happens.”

Doctor Feelings II

"So, what happened today, Mr. Jones?" asked Dr. Feelings, peeking over his fake reading glasses.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one on the couch?" Casey asked, his head between his hands, and his butt in Splinter's old recliner.

"You watch too many movies, Mr. Jones. I'm the doctor here, I will be asking the questions."

Mikey squinted. “I just did, what happened today?”

“Ok, ask away.”

“Oh. Well…” What didn’t happen today? “I tried out for field hockey.”

“Field hockey huh? And how was that, did you have fun?”

“Actually, I did. Everyone said I played pretty well, but there was this one girl…”

“A girl, huh? I know all about those.” Casey glanced over at Mikey and saw he was scribbling away on a notepad- no, his drawing pad. He was doodling.

“She said I was a shit forward.”

“But you’ve never played hockey before!”

“Yeah, but it still kinda hurt.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Of course not!” Casey snapped defensively. That would probably only get Angel to tease him worse.

"Why not?"

Casey sat on his hands and didn't say anything.

"Is she cute?" Mikey asked, raising his brow.

"What?"

"The girl. Is she cute?"

“Of course she’s cute!” he blurted out without thinking about it.

The face Mikey made was so immediately excited and opportunistic that it made Casey regret talking to him in the first place.

“Are you going to ask her out?!” he asked, jumping up and down in his seat.

“What? No! Well, define ask out? We went to the library today-”

“You went on a study date?! Casey what the fuck it’s literally the first day of school!”

“Casey did what?!” Oh no. Oh no no no no no NO.

The last person he wanted to talk to about this poked his head out of their shared room.

“Casey went on a date?!” Leo asked, his smile so large and mischievous it made Casey want to scream.

“I did not!” Casey shouted, sounding all the more unconvincing.

“He did!” Mikey shouted back to Leo, only making the situation worse.

“What happened to client confidentiality!?” Casey argued, standing up and crossing his arms.

“I’m not licensed!” Mikey countered with a smile. “Do I get licensed in the future?”

“There aren’t licenses in the future!” Casey pointed out, fuming. Mikey seemed genuinely upset as he pouted, but Leo came in just in time to make things worse.

“Tell me all about your new girlfriend, Case,” he insisted, dropping himself onto the living room couch beside his brother.

“Absolutely not,” Casey scoffed. “And she’s not my girlfriend. We just went over history notes together.”

“But you like her. Does she like you?” Casey could not believe this was happening.

“You could ask her out to the Homecoming dance! It’s coming up,” Mikey offered.

“That’s literally two months away!” Casey pointed out.

“Well, you never know, someone else might have their eye on her,” Leo noted, pointing and raising his brow.

“We are done talking about this,” Casey asserted.

“You might be done talking about this,” Leo smirked. “But Splints is going to wanna have a sit down with you if you don’t tell us how your date went.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Casey whispered.

“Oh I dare,” Leo confirmed, lifting his feet up onto the couch and sprawling over Mikey. He pressed a middle finger gently to his temple. “I remember it like it was yesterday, the day Raph came home all excited with a crush on someone he had just bumped into in the Hidden City. Have you heard the story?”

“I could tell you yours if you want to,” Casey threatened.

“What?!” Leo suddenly lost his cool.

“If Splints has only given Raph the talk at this point, you guys are in for a world of pain,” Casey nodded.

“Even me?!” Mikey asked.

“Not as bad for you, Mikey,” Casey waved him off, looking down at the poor, helpless slider, and leaned down to get on his level.

“If you tell Master Splinter anything, I’ll let him know everything you get up to for the next twenty years.”

“How do you even know that?”

“Aside from your own over-dramatic monologues? Master Michelangelo told the best stories when he was wasted.”

Leo shot up from his position over his brother to give him a dangerous look. “You snitch!”

“I haven’t done anything!” Mikey yelped, popping into his shell reflexively. Leo jumped up to snatch at his brother, but Casey did it first, holding the boxed box turtle at arms length.

“Nuh uh uh!” he tutted. “I’m still having my session with him.”

“Well I think it’s probably my turn to take my feelings out on him,” Leo demanded.

“That’s not how therapy works!” Mikey squeaked from the safety of his shell. 

“Let him go, Leo. You can have him when I’m done,” Casey compromised.

Finally the slider relented, but he sure did not look happy about it.

“We are going to have so many words, hermano,” he puffed, before retreating back to his room.

“SO MANY WORDS!”

Casey had a feeling it was going to be more than just words.

“Is he gone?” Mikey whispered, poking his head out.

“Yeah, he’s gone,” Casey sighed, setting the turtle back down.

“Why’d you rat- why’d you snitch on me like that?” Mikey grumbled. “I haven’t even said anything!”

“It was funny, I guess,” Casey shrugged.

“If you think I’m going to help you out after that you’re insane.”

“Well you’re safe as long as you’re still talking to me,” Casey reasoned, only faintly recognizing that he sounded a bit like Big Mama as he did so.

“Fine,” Mikey huffed, picking his drawing pad back up. “But this is the last session for a while. I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t think I can either. I just needed him to shut up.” Casey leaned back into Splinter’s chair. It was scratchy and uncomfortable, but for some reason it just felt welcoming.

“I hear that,” Mikey nodded. “So you went on a date with the girl from field hockey, but you don’t want to talk about it. Anything else happen at school?” Casey didn’t think he had anything to say, but saw Mikey scratch his temple and he remembered something.

“There’s also a guy on the team who recognized me from the invasion.”

“WHAT?!”

“He saw my hockey mask in my bag.”

“April told you not to bring that!”

“I know, I know, but I get nervous not having my equipment with me.”

“I keep my nunchucks in my bag too.”

“Why do you bring your nunchucks to school?"

“Nuh uh uh, Mr. Jones. We’re here to talk about you. Why do you get nervous not having your gear with you?”

Because Casey never felt safe. Not really. There was always something out to get him.

Casey shrugged. “This is entirely unfair.”

“I’ll be having this conversation with myself later, don’t worry. Why do you bring your hockey mask to school?”

“In case something bad happens.”

“Like what?” Mikey was peeking over his drawing pad again. Casey crossed his arms.

“I’m not here to judge that.”

“I don’t know, like the technodrome exploding into the sky again. I know that’s ridiculous-”

“But you think it is.”

“It’s a little ridiculous,” Mikey admitted.

“Every morning I wake up and-”

“You have a silly little oatmilk coffee,” Mikey interrupted.

“Are you here to listen or what?!” Mikey ducked behind the drawing pad.

“I wake up thinking I’m back there again. In the future, and I… I have to remind myself that no, everyone is dead and that part of my life is forever over.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry I keep interrupting. That’s horrible,” Mikey apologized, looking down at the ground.

“Isn’t it? That guy I met today, Gavin, he helped me pull my hair back for practice and I jumped out of my skin because I couldn’t keep my eyes on him the whole time. Everything is a threat.”

“You let him help you though?”

“Yeah.”

“How was that?”

“That was nice. I think we could be friends.”

“That’s good. He was nice to you then?”

“Yeah.” Casey glanced over and tried to look at what Mikey was drawing, but Mikey shifted away.

“Back off Future Boy, these are the doctor’s notes. Doctors only.”

“You’re gonna grow hair one day," Casey told him suddenly.

“What?”

“You taught me how to tie my hair back, when I was little.”

Mikey looked like he couldn't decide whether to explode or melt into a puddle.

“That is soooooo cool,” he whispered. “When you’re born I’m going to be the cool uncle.”

“Am I even going to be born, though?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

Casey had thought about this before, probably too many times.

“There will probably be another Casey Junior, just… not me like you’re Master Michelangelo.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, Master Michelangelo is made up in part of your shared experiences with him. But a Casey born here will never have the same experiences I had.”

“And…. how does that make you feel?”

Casey dipped his chin into his chest.

“More lonely than ever before, I guess.”

“One of a kind,” Mikey noticed, in an attempt to cheer the boy up.

“Sure,” Casey shrugged. “Are we done here?”

“I mean, we’re done whenever you want to be…” Mikey glanced over to Leo and Casey’s room nervously.

“Cool, we’re done,” Casey sighed. “I want to go to bed.”

“Well… give me a head start before you go,” Mikey told him, putting the pad down and edging his way back towards the entrance to the lair.

“I’ll give you ten seconds.”

Mikey sprinted away faster than Casey could blink.

But it wouldn’t be faster than Leo could chase him.

-

"Hey, where ya goin’, Pink?"

"Angel? Did I forget something?" Casey turned around and saw his fellow sophomore running to catch up to him. She was still wearing her field hockey clothes, but she was carrying her cleats in hand. She was only wearing her socks?

"Uh, what? No. I just… I needed to talk to you," she said between breaths.

"Do you… wanna change your shoes first?"

The color from Angel’s face, despite its rosyness from practice, seemed to drain away entirely as she looked down at her feet.

"Oh, uh, yeah.” She flashed her teeth at him with a frustrated expression on her face. “Give me a second, would ya?" She unzipped her bag and pulled out her street shoes. She struggled to keep her balance as she tried to pull one of them on.

"You can sit down if you want to," Casey offered, tilting his head to one side.

"On the sidewalk? No thanks."

Casey sat down on the sidewalk next to her. "It's not so bad," he shrugged.

With a huff, Angel let herself fall next to him, bumping into his shoulder as she went down.

"Hey, watch it!"

"You watch it, Pink. You would be the kind of guy to just sit wherever.”

"What does that mean?" he asked, even though he couldn’t help but smile.

Angel didn't answer, she just kept tying her shoes.

"Does it have to do with my pinkness again?"

Angel gave him a glare.

"Let me guess, you're purple. Does that make us a pair?"

Angel blushed, and Casey cracked up laughing.

"Ugh, Pink fuck! What is wrong with you?"

“And Pink Fuck, what’s up with that? Couldn’t think of anything better?” he teased her.

“Well what should I call you, Jones? You’re a big mess of colors dancing all over the place.”

“How does that work anyway, seeing people’s colors?” he asked, curious.

“It just does,” she shrugged. “What’s it like not seeing people’s colors?” she shot back, making a face at him.

She was unbelievable.

Angel finished tying her shoes, and then stood back up.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" he asked, getting to his feet as well.

Angel dug around in her bag and pulled out a sheet of paper.

"It's our schedule… for the games. Congrats… uh… you made the team."

"Wait, really?" he answered in disbelief.

"Are you actually surprised?" She looked like he’d just asked her what color the sky was.

Casey raised his eyebrows. "I thought you said I was shit."

"I did," she tilted her chin up in a pout.

"So how did I make the team?"

"You're the only guy who tried out, dumbass!” she jammed the schedule to his chest.

"Oh, yeah, I guess so," he figured, taking the paper from her and looking at the print. It looked like they still had a couple weeks before their first game.

"But you do get to be a forward, so there is that," she sighed, re-zipping her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Cool."

"Cool."

Casey tilted his head.

"Was that… everything you had to tell me?" he asked.

He couldn’t help but notice her blush again. It was kinda cute. "Where were you headed? I thought we were going back to the library again."

"We are, but you were taking forever so I thought I’d meet you there."

“You were gonna leave me?!” she huffed, adjusting her bag.

“I mean I was kind of hoping you’d see me and hurry up…” he kicked his boot on the pavement.

Angel gave him a look he hoped meant she was mad but willing to let him get away with it.

“Whatever, let’s just go,” she told him, passing him and bumping into his shoulder again as she went.

-

“Thanks for joining the team, by the way,” Angel said as they returned to the library. “I think Gavin told you already, but we hardly have enough people to actually play… what with all the…” she waved her hands around. She hoped he got the idea.

“The what?” Casey did not get the idea at all.

“You know, everyone skipping town because of the… what do you call them? The… not human students?” She felt her face going red. Again. (She had to stop doing that.) She never could seem to remember the word…

“Oh… the yokai. Yeah, I get it,” Casey finally nodded. “Uh, thanks for having me I guess?”

She scrunched up her nose. “Don’t you dare back out, okay? I’ll find you if you do.” She hoped that sounded threatening, and not like some kind of promise.

“And do what exactly?” Casey smiled good-naturedly. She didn’t like that he was smiling at all.

Angel raised her fists and waved them like she was going to box him. “There’s a good reason they let me on the men’s field hockey team. Go ask any of them!”

“I believe you!” Casey chuckled. This guy…

Angel wanted to go on, but they were quickly shushed by a librarian, so they slinked over to their table in awkward silence.

“I’ve been meaning to ask Angel, and… you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but-”

“Wait, did Gavin tell you what’s going on?” She cut in before he could finish. She had seen that look on too many other people’s faces before. She really hoped he wasn’t going to…

“He mentioned one of your friends disappeared, yeah.”

Fuck.

“Not my friend,” she corrected. “My best friend,” she hugged her backpack close to her chest. “We’ve been friends since second grade.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Everyone says that.” Please shut up.

“Well…”

“It’s whatever,” Angel cut in again. “Nobody ever fucking knows what to say. Even if you did bring it up.” She squinted her eyes at him. For the love of god stop talking.

“You seem… kinda normal about it,” he couldn’t help but wonder. “Aren’t you worried?”

“Of course I’m worried!” she raised her voice. She heard someone from a table over shush her again, but she ignored them. “What do you care?” she pouted.

Casey bit his lip, and Angel wondered where he’d gotten the nerve to even bring this up.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

And then Angel saw it. As he apologized, she saw his colors shift. The neon pink faded to a light rose. She blinked in surprise. She hadn't seen that happen to anyone before.

Well, not anyone she knew. People usually only had one hue. Sometimes it fluctuated in brightness or in shade depending on their mood, but the actual color itself didn’t shift; their hue was tied to their personality. You can’t just change your personality.

That was something that had caught Angel’s attention when she had met Casey. Pink was a weird color to have. While technically most people would say it was a shade of red, she argued his hue was pinned right between red and her own red-violet. Magenta might be more accurate, but Pink Fuck was way funnier. Whatever the exact color was didn’t matter- it was the family it belonged to that bothered her.

Reds had an exceptionally passionate or aggressive personality, and she didn’t see it anywhere in him. If she were blind, she’d guess he was the polar opposite- cyan or seafoam green. He was unbelievably cool and easygoing, so much so that it didn’t make any sense to her. The image of a wolf in sheep’s clothing came to mind. At first she had been curious to find out if she could break the cool facade.

But now that his color had shifted further red (albeit up many shades lighter), the curiosity swung immediately to fear.

The unstable aura was as chaotic as those she saw on the people outside Marina's apartment.

It made her shiver.

"Hey, are you alright?" Casey asked. She looked away immediately, realizing she had just been staring right into his eyes.

"You really shouldn't have," she agreed with a mutter.

"I… yeah," Casey looked down at his hands pensively.

And why would he care? Why was he asking about her? Why was he so upfront about spending time with her? He had shown up ‘coincidentally’ just after Marina had disappeared. Angel stood up. She had to get out of here. Casey followed her with his eyes, but didn't make a move to stand.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this right now," she picked her bag up.

"No, I'm sorry," he apologized again, but also looked confused. At the very least, he didn't act like the strange people she had seen before.

But that didn't mean she could trust him. Something about him was incredibly wrong.

She felt terrible, but quickly made her exit without another word. He had been so nice to her, even when she was constantly picking on him. But it was also too nice. It almost felt like he was playing mind games with her. She wished she could forget seeing the hurt in his eyes before she walked away.

That would have made her exit a lot easier.

-

 Kind

"Let me see your stance," Casey offered, and he helped Sunshine stand up. It felt like the world was shifting under her feet, but the small musk turtle managed to keep her balance.

She took her stance, practice sword in hand.

"Oh, you are waaaaay overcompensating," Casey realized, bending down to match her.

"You're too far forward, you need to stand up a bit straighter."

"That's what Synth said but-" Sunshine straightened up all the way, and started to fall back; just like Casey had done when he was younger.

"Ah!" Casey caught her and tipped her forward. "That's too far! It's like you're trying to stand like a human-" he cut himself off.

"A what?" Sunshine blinked at him.

"A human. Humans don't have shells, so they're center of gravity is different," Casey explained.

"What’s a human?"

Casey pressed his hands together and pursed his lips in thought.

"You don't know anything about anything outside of this nexus, do you?"

"I know… some things," Sunshine frowned. "Like, I know what sunshine is, even though there isn't any here. I don't know where it is, but it's warm and bright."

"It seems like parts of your lost memories can come through but others can't? Or haven't? You know ASL…”

Sunshine could see Casey looked very uncomfortable.

'I don't think we should be talking about this,' he signed.

'Why not?'

'We are being watched.'

'So?'

Casey shook his head.

'Don't trust Big Mama.'

Sunshine could figure that much.

'I will try and come up with a solution that will get your memories back. In the meantime, we need to stay quiet. Keep each other safe.'

'Get me out of here,' Sunshine pleaded.

'I will, I promise.' He sighed and turned to stand next to her. “Let’s focus on getting your balance right. You need to find that sweet spot between straight up and too far forward. Mimic me.”

Casey stood upright, but then shifted forward ever so slightly. Sunshine moved to follow him.

“This is uncomfortable,” she noticed, feeling the weight of her shell press into her lower back.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s going to feel weird for a while, but you’ll get used to it.”

“How am I supposed to walk like this?”

“Slowly at first,” Casey took a step forward, and Sunshine followed him. She swayed a little, but otherwise kept upright. “Let’s just practice this for a bit,” he suggested, turning and facing her.

“Ok,” Sunshine turned to mimic him but wobbled, and in an attempt to catch herself, bumped into his head. “Ah!”

Casey backed up and caught her arm.

“Or, we might be here for a while,” he chuckled as she righted herself. Sunshine gave him a scowl, but she was secretly grateful for his help. He was also way more patient than Synth was, and kinder than anyone else she had encountered here in the Nexus. She had started looking forward to seeing him everyday.

But she could tell he was keeping something from her, too. All of them were. Of course her doctor knew, he didn’t even try to pretend that, he just outright refused to talk to her about anything. Synth tried to play dumb, but he was also a bad liar; he often caught himself saying things to her he shouldn’t. 

Like when he mentioned Casey's brother had visited. Sunshine had been complaining about her sword again when Synth snapped and told her off for being a whiny baby. (His words, not hers.) She had no respect for the weapon, just like that slider from before. He had been grumbling, and when Sunshine had asked what he was on about, he grumbled something about Casey's arrogant brother. Casey hadn't mentioned a brother- he had said all his family had died.

So while Casey was kind, he was also a liar.

Sunshine wondered how she could get him to talk. Not just because she was curious, but also because it seemed like something was haunting him. Ok, maybe the dead family had something to do with that….

Sunshine was making practice swings when the first question came to her:

"So you know how to fight, did you learn that from your dad?”

Casey, who had been standing by watching her, looked surprised by the question.

“My dad?”

“Uh, yes?” Casey’s cheeks flushed.

“Ah… well, I don’t always call him my dad you see. I was sort of using it as a shorthand…”

Sunshine gave Casey a frown. Oh boy, he was full of shit wasn’t he?

“Ok, I guess he was my dad,” Casey admitted, crossing his arms defensively. “I usually call him my sensei. It was… less confusing, I guess? Trust me, you don’t want me to get into it.”

“If it’s confusing… was he your brother’s sensei too?” Sunshine asked, confused.

Seeming just as confused, Casey looked at her like she’d just slapped him.

“Where are you getting this?” he asked cautiously, lowering his voice and inching towards her.

Sunshine shrugged. “Where am I getting what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, I’ve never mentioned having a brother to you.”

“But you do have one,” Sunshine smiled, narrowing her eyes.

“I have four,” he grumbled.

“You told me you didn’t have a family anymore,” Sunshine pointed out. “Do you wanna elaborate on that? Are you not on good terms with them…?”

“Synth told you about Leo didn’t he?” Casey realized.

“He told me your brother was arrogant.”

“That’s one word to describe him,” Casey sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“How would you describe him?” Sunshine asked.

“Why are we talking about this?”

“Because…” Sunshine shouldered her sword and placed one hand on her hip. “... everyone is keeping shit from me. What else do you want to talk about with a girl who doesn’t remember jack shit?”

“Yeah but… Leo of all people…”

“You told me your family was dead!” Sunshine barked, losing her patience. “Everyone in this fucking place lies to me. Do I actually care about your brother? Probably not, but I thought you’d be different from the others at the very least. They’re keeping secrets from me; every. single. one of them. I have nothing to do but sit around here in this room and think all day. Think about nothing besides how much I don’t want to be here surrounded by a bunch of selfish and evil people!”

Casey leaned against the wall of the training room. He looked down at the floor for a moment, before facing her.

“I can’t tell you everything I know,” he explained, massaging his fingers. “But my brothers are part of the reason why I’m here. And as long as I am visiting you here, they can’t know what I’m doing. If you see them, you can’t approach them. Big Mama would be very much against it. If they notice you, turn the other way and don’t look back. They might even want to talk to you, chase you even, but you can’t let them know what we’re doing here.”

“Why is that?”

Casey’s expression went dark. “It will ruin them.”

“So what, you’re protecting them?” Casey nodded.

“What are they like?” Sunshine hoped she wasn’t pressing her luck, but to her surprise, Casey actually smiled. He rolled his eyes too, but he didn’t seem annoyed at the very least.

“Where would I even start?”

“We have plenty of time,” Sunshine reminded him, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Start with Leo, I guess.”

Casey sighed. “We’ll be here all night.”

Prev. Masterpost Next

Notes: Dialogue exchanged in sign language is written between 'apostrophes.' Scenes taking place in Casey's doomed future are written in italics.

[sadnesslaughs]

When the group of tourists told you they come from far away, you thought about another nation or continent. Now that you look at them, you see that you’re wrong, but you keep a straight face because they are still clients.

(A response to a writing prompt.)

“A tourist? How do you find the place? Weathers a bit crap and all that, ay?” Wally smirked, pouring the group a pint of beer each, giving them the warmest welcome he could, with an ice-cold beer. The bar owner welcoming them in the same way he would want to be welcomed if he arrived in a foreign place. “So, where do you all come from?” He asked, still not looking up at the group, too preoccupied with getting the perfect pour.

“Aliaqawo.” A robotic voice answered, one that had a masculine hint to it. The location made Wally tilt his head, like a dog that wasn’t completely certain it had heard its master’s words correctly. He gave a small chuckle, continuing to pour the drinks, trying to figure out where that was.

“Sweden or something?” That was his best guess, taking a shot in the dark.

“Sure.” The voice answered, not sounding entirely confident. It was the tone that one would use to hurry along a conversation they didn’t want to linger on, hoping Wally didn’t probe further.

“Ah, makes sense.” Wally never was one for probing, at least not until his shift ended. When the ice cold beers hit the counter, he took his first look at the group, having to do his best to not let out a startled yelp. They looked like mannequins pretending to be human. The costumes they wore horrifyingly stiff, making every movement a real effort. The faces of the costumes were pale, with nostril and mouth holes that exposed the bright yellow skin underneath. The lips in particular were weird, being a triangle shape, with hidden sharp teeth underneath.

“This is a beer? Splendid. I will taste it for consumption. Oh, I also believe I didn’t answer your question. I find this place habitable.” He answered, putting his hand over the beer. The alien attempted to be sneaky, piercing a hole in their suit, pushing a small straw out. This straw sucking up a small sip of the beer, with a green flash lighting underneath the skin when it analyzed the liquid. The group watched the green beep intently before downing their drinks, knowing they were safe.

“Right.” Wally looked at the group, guessing that there were two males and one woman if the disguises were to be believed. It was strange. Somehow, they looked more normal in a group, like it made them blend in among themselves. “So, got a name?”

“Ajal.” The first one spoke, seeming to be the leader of the trio, or at the very least the one most comfortable with human speech. “Janalqa. You can call me Jana, handstand.” She winked, something that didn’t work well in her costume. The wink making her forehead scrunch, leaving Wally to wonder if there was a third eye hidden under it. If there was a third eye, did that mean she blinked at him? That and many other questions went through his mind. Especially since she had called him a handstand.

“Polaia.” The third alien huffed, leaning forward on the counter, an act that Wally recognized. It was the sign of an anxious male that had a big crush on the lady he was with. Polaia’s jealousy being easy to read. He didn’t have all the details, but given how far apart they were sitting, it was clear they had no romantic relationship. At least he hoped they hadn’t. That might make this night even more awkward.

“Right, nice to meet you all. Those three drinks are on the house.”

“On the house? Fasinating.” Ajal took out a triangle shaped device. The device being a large blue floating eyeball that blinked, snapping a photo of the counter the beers had been on. “A picture of a house.”

“Oh, no. It’s an expression. It means the drinks are free.”

“Free? Is it because of my charms, handstand?” Janalqa leaned against the counter, twirling the fake blonde wig she wore. Usually, Wally would have loved this attention, but since he had no way of knowing what was hidden beneath their costume, he decided not to return any of her flirting. He even wondered if he should find a way to backflip out of the handstand comments.

“We will pay!” Polaia slammed his money down on the counter, glaring daggers at Wally. Wally sheepishly collected the cash, trying not to anger the other alien. The two other aliens sighed, not impressed by their friends’ antics. Still, they continued on, not letting it ruin their night.

As the drinks continued to flow, the aliens got a lot chattier, sitting right at the bar, keeping Wally company all night. Again, this usually wasn’t something Wally would have minded. Wally’s bar was pretty quiet, so anyone he could coax into staying was always a welcomed guest, although he wasn’t sure if that included aliens too.

“Do you have a mating partner, handstand? How many arms do you look for in a partner? Six? Six, right?” Janalqa asked. Wally considered that. Of course, the answer was two, but he wondered where the other arms would even go. Where would you fit six arms? “Ignore her. She’s famous in our world. She latches onto anyone that doesn’t know who she is.” Ajal said.

“Hm, some people can look past her fame and see her for the Yalpan she is. She’s a wild Bralzia flower, one that survives the harshness of the planet and brings us warmth.” Polaia said, confident Wally couldn’t match that line.

“That was a good line. You should use that on someone you want to date.” Janalqa patted him on the back, earning a grunt of frustration from the alien.

“Yeah, she’s certainly a flower.” Wally laughed, regretting saying that as soon as the words left his mouth.

“A flower? COME WITH ME TO MY PLANET. Let us spend four days in each other’s minds. Let us burn our memories together, forming a new partnership.” She clutched his hands, clenching them. “How many-“

“Ok, Janalqa… You’re not drinking anymore.” Ajal gave the bartender an apologetic look. “Sorry, this beer product seems to have confused our minds.”

“It’s ok. You’re handling it a lot better than I expected.”

“We are built different. Not weak and puny.” Polaia crossed his arms. The skin bouncing as if something was moving underneath. Polaia’s suit nearly popping open as the arms inflated.

“Built different? He’s built perfectly. Come on, no one will even know I have him. I’ll put a human suit on him. They won’t figure it out.” Janalqa said.

“Um, I appreciate the attention, but I have to manage this bar. I can’t leave my home. Feel free to visit, though. There will always be a seat for you here,” Wally said, his words bringing Polaia a ton of joy.

“Ah. No, our love is separated by planets. How tragic.” She slid off her stool, looking at the door as if it were a camera. “How horrible. My handstand is unobtainable. I will never forget you.” She spun around, holding Wally’s hand. “Never.” She released it, appearing to be over her infatuation, returning to her drink. “Um. Ok?” Wally felt a hint of disappointment, almost regretting turning down the invitation. That small show of hers getting him close to changing his mind.

“She’s what you humans would call an actor.” Ajal explained, and when he said it, everything made sense.

“Ah, so she was only acting? That makes sense. People don’t normally get attached that quickly to people they have just met.” Wally laughed, though the three aliens remained silent. No one wanting to tell him it hadn’t entirely been an act.

The night went on as normal, the three aliens sharing a few more drinks before leaving. When they left, they gave him a couple of presents. The first was five thousand dollars. Since the group was leaving Earth tomorrow, they had no need for the human currency. Assuming it was easier to give Wally the money than it was to throw it in the nearest bin. Second, they left a number, one he could call if he ever wanted to speak to them. Unfortunately, the number was for an intergalactic phone, a device humans hadn’t invented yet, nor had they been gifted. Lastly, they gave him some coins he didn’t recognize. Tipping him some of their currency in case he ever visited. Wally set aside the items before closing his bar, wondering if he would ever see those alien guests again.

[thesoleilla]

Flufftober Day 26: Blankets

Masterlist Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Ship: Jaehee x reader

Genre:

Warnings: Sleep deprivation, hurt comfort (which means there is hurt)

You knew how bad Jaehee's work situation was, and you desperately wanted tp help, but how could you do that when she refused any form of help from you?

When will she finally come home? You knew her job was stressful and tended to require a lot of her time but this wasn't healthy at all! You swore that if she was still at work, you had to confront that damn shitty boss of hers!

But when you casually came into her office, using the double of her documents you had taken, somehow finding your way around the place AND passing the security guards; the sight you got was as delightful as desolate.

At the same time, she was sleeping; which you had been saying she needed to for as long as you had known her, but she was also sleeping at work and considering how dedicated she was to her work, she didn't just take a random nap for no reasons. She must have fallen asleep against her will because of how exhausted she was...

"No, Jaehee not this again..." you mumbled, as you were horrifyingly watching over her cute yet sad asleep yet still tired face.

You knew people normally looked rather peaceful when sleeping, but she wasn't calm in the slightest. She was in a total rage transe, you could probably feel her face heating up from across the room. Almost like... she was having nightmares.

But she couldn't be having nightmares right now! When she was finally gettting the sleep she well-deserved she couldn't even enjoy it! However, you knew she had a lot of things to have nightmares about, considering how stressful her situation was... you had tried so hard to get her to leave it all, yet she was still suffering here, overworking until she fell asleep against her will.

You couldn't do anything about her situation. You felt powerless. After all, you had tried everything you could think of!

Then, the conditions in which she was sleeping finally got to you. Not only was she having nightmares, falling asleep from burnout and hurting her health for good, she was sleeping in an office chair, in her cold work uniform when the room was freezing! And that, was something you could help with.

So even if it was probably violating half of the work rules, you stole all the comfortable blanket looking stuff you could find and carefully created a full on blanket fort all around her.

Each blanket was painful. Because you knew she needed this. And you also knew she needed more. And more. She had suffered too much, you wanted to help her with a bit of suffering...

Bit by bit, you started thinking of the blanket fort as a real fort that could protect her from the real world and its problems, and it felt sweet; to think that was a reality, and because of that, you slowly and quietly snuggled up to her, careful not to wake her up.

You knew she'd get angry about you not waking her up earlier, but for now; sleepy Jaehee was getting her sleep, and asleep Jaehee seemed to like having you close. And that's all that ever mattered.

You were already awake long before she woke up, and that didn't annoy you in the slightest. Because you got to see her get everything she deserved; yet she clung onto you like it was all she ever needed, and it felt great.

But when she woke up, she didn't have the initial reaction you expected, and it was quite charming to hear, those words; that you had longed to hear ever since you learnt about how horrible this place was.

"Y/N... do you think I could manage to find a better job?"

@flufftober

[mejomonster]

Some good books I read this year:

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters (best historical fiction I've read in recent years, amazing romance, heavy af with a happy ending, special treat if you're familiar with the prince and the pauper but also like grit and horror and con artist schemes, its writing style is one half one main woman's point of view then halfway through it flips to the other main womans pov and the execution of those limited biased perspectives floored me and I'm still contemplating the strength of it)

My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix (and I'm now eagerly checking out the rest by this author, there's a charming heart and true resonance to the dark comedy horror this author does)

Silent Reading by priest (as in I finally finished it, one of my favorite stories period and edanglars does amazing translations)

Observations by janon (a fanfiction but I'm counting it because its like 400,000 words and is in loving dialogue with TOS and all of its themes, with the best of it, and is rekindling my passion for star trek generally and more broadly has reminded me how much I love sci fi)

Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu (I'm now reading Dark Forest the next in the series, I personally loved this and how it was written and how it both played with science ideas i'm familiar with and in my opinion did it in a really accessible way to take those ideas and show those ideas in a closer to home esque way. I love the part about the ant. I personally loved the writing style, which reviews have told me is mixed on that front, and I loved a lot it was doing. It had a lot to think about, not just in a science ideas way but in a what are we, what is life, why do we care, how do we care, what is important.)

Interview with the Vampire (i've read this before so this was a comfort reread. Just, as usual, it reminded me what bits of it I like in a vampire tale, in my love of the supernatural horror with the mundane reality, kicked me back into gear reminding me that I do want to finish writing some of the stories in my head so they can exist and breathe.)

Red White and Royal Blue (while not my usual slice of pie I'll admit, I did love this novel for what it does and what it aims to do. It is a well written romance, it has characters with individual arcs I care about and really clear personalities, it has depth to the choices it makes that show it knew what it wanted to be even if that story was less general/easy to project onto and the result is characters I'll remember, that I cared about, and when they felt hope and fear I could understand. Because it felt grounded in personal. I do think the book gets a bit heavier than the movie, which for me was enjoyable. I can see it being a comfort book for some and one day it might be for me)

Special mentions, still mid reading like the mess I am: Kamikaze Girls (i love the writing style and something about it just makes you feel the mindset you did when young), The Expanse (i am ON a sci fi kick now wooh), Vampire Hunter D (futuristic sci fi And vampires <3 more stuff reminding me I should write), Remina by Junji Ito and Spiral by Junji Ito (i cannot explain well sometimes but something about junji ito is comfort reading ToT), One Piece (because horrifyingly Ive read like 40 chapters of the manga and am getting sucked in its like Ranma 1/2 all over again), Berserk (so good but i do Not have time yet to get through it all - and another one inspiring me to write cause i love writing dark fantasy worlds), Devilman (i have many words for this but the most bizarre one is it reminds me of sora and riku in an almost old disney style and if u understand what i mean then message me).

[rukafais]

its always deeply funny when people characterise rai’gy as like, especially malevolent or unhinged or whatever compared to kimmuriel because like i understand, truly

but also i’m rereading the books he actually shows up in and while they are both equally awful, rai’gy is actually nicer or at least more inclined to use his words than kimmuriel is. he’s a bit arrogant but like, so is everyone else. he’s pretty level-headed actually until he starts getting peak shardbrain

and then in the other corner, there’s kimmuriel “had to be sat down by jarlaxle at some point to be reminded that killing people is evidence” oblodra who is coping very poorly with losing his entire house, actually, but will kill you if you even remotely suggest it

rai’gy is kimmuriel’s restraining bolt if anything

[esamastation]

Buncha fanfic ideas for buncha fandoms

1. FMA timetravel where the time traveler saves Scar's Brother, and probably a bunch of other people too. Because seriously, Scar's Brother probably could've changed everything just by existing.

2. Yu-Gi-Oh fic where Yugi, shortly after meeting Seto Kaiba and having his grandfather kidnapped and everything, goes full on feral and decides, "Eff this, let's eat the rich." (Unfortunately for everybody, Kaiba is totally onboard having a rival who's out for his blood.)

3. AC X FMA, crossover where the Grand Temple broke through the barrier between realities by basically forcing Equivalent Exchange to its limits. Desmond gets thrown into the realm of Truth. Truth kicks him out and into Amestris. Which would be fine, except thanks to all that tampering by Isu and his close connection with the Calculations, Desmond doesn't come out as an Alchemist - but a Transmutation Array.

4. All those HP crossovers with FMA characters in Hogwarts made me long for one with wizards in Amestris. Trying to figure out how to do spells with Equivalent Exchange in effect. How do you do a stunner when it has a cost? What's the equivalent exchange for levitation charm? Can you do a flying broom with alchemy? What about the Unforgivables - does the Killing Curse have a greater cost in the FMA world, or will it transform into a horrifyingly easy way to create very small Philosopher's Stones?

5. Unbeknownst to anyone, Hohenheim has been using his Philosopher's Stone to go back in time, over and over, trying to prevent the Promised Day. He can only go back so many years, and not past a certain point, and so far nothing he's tried has worked and Father always succeeds in the end. Tired after several failed attempts, Hohenheim decides to take a loop off and just rest a while. This time he'll do the most indulgent thing he can think of - have a wife and children and a normal life. Let the world end, he'll keep on trying to fix it in the next loop. It should be fine. Right?

6. FMA x YGO crossover. In FMA world, Atem being locked in the puzzle is a bit like Alphonse in his armour, only Atem can possess Yugi's body. Ed is determined to learn how, wanting to give his little brother even a small taste of having a human body once more. In the meanwhile, Yugi and Atem try to deal with having seen the Truth and possessing Clap Alchemy - when they don't know anything about Alchemy in the first place. It's a bit like starting to play at the end game and trying to figure out what all the stats do.

7. If you know my fic Second Fourth? That with My Hero Academia, as in, Cloud is All Might from another reality. Mako injections stunted his growth, like, a lot. Everyone thinks he's All Might's clone / child-produced-illegally-from-stolen-dna-sample / basically the Winter Soldier to All Might's Captain America. Cloud is just very confused. (I would seriously write this but I've only read MHA fics, I haven't gotten that deep into the canon itself, so, eh).

8. FF7 x FMA crossover where Cloud finds himself in Amestris. No biggy, he's been summoned into other realities before, and he's got all his gear, all his Materia, he's good. He's just going to lay low, do some mercenary work, nothing to it. Now if the kid and the reanimated armour could stop stalking him, that'd be great. (Materia, it turns out, are basically specialised Philosopher's Stones. And Cloud has a lot of them.)

9. FF7 x YGO crossover where after his death, Vincent ended up in the shadow realm, as one of its many monsters. It's… not great, but manageable. Fitting punishment for his sins. At least, so it feels, until these kids start popping in and out, unknowingly tampering with powers they don't understand. Marik Ishtar, Ryou Bakura, Yugi Muto, all about to have their souls consumed by the darkness. Suddenly his punishment seems a bit more like a duty to keep these young summoners from getting themselves killed.

10. Kaiba Gozaburo and Tony Stark used to be allies. Kaiba Seto and Tony Stark are bitter enemies, who couldn't hate each other more if they tried. Then Afghanistan happens and suddenly the fact that Seto turned one of the biggest weapons manufacturing corporations into a game company doesn't seem so ridiculous - and Tony would really like to know how the hell did a 15 year old kid manage it, when he, at 38, is only getting assassination attempts for his efforts.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey, you once mentioned something about Tom Riddle being a little suicidal. Your new post reminded of that and I wonder why you think that. It’s the complete opposite of what the books want you to think.

Alright, it’s time, let’s do this.

My standard disclaimer whenever we venture into the dark pit that is my thoughts on Tom Riddle: I’m going to say a lot of controversial stuff that fandom generally doesn’t agree with, I will say so much of this shit that I simply do not have time to explain it all, I expect 99% of you to disagree with me and the other 1% to be so horrifyingly offended that I dare to contemplate a world in which Tom isn’t always an overly competent psychopath that they leave me notes telling me to take this trash out of their character tags.

We good? Alright.

So, when I say a little suicidal, I mean that he is suicidal.

Not on the level that he’s going to kill himself tomorrow, or even has plans to kill himself, but in that he makes very strange decisions for someone who desperately wants to live.

And yes, I realize I speak blasphemy given that Tom Riddle’s entire m.o. is supposed to be his crippling fear of death.

Oh man, this one’s going to be so long.

So, my reasoning comes down to a few things:

The location of the horcruxes and the nature of their protections.

The events of Deathly Hallows and Tom’s final actions in the novel

The nature of horcruxes and what it means to not only be able to create one but what it does to you (caveat that I am going to headcanon hard here and speak utter blasphemy)

So, let’s start in order this time, because I think the first two are actually far easier for me to explain.

The Location and Nature of the Horcrux Protections and the Trouble with Backdoors in Security

So, first, the horcruxes are all conveniently located in Great Britain. Not even just in Great Britain, all in places that Albus Dumbledore and later Harry Potter can track down with relative ease, all fairly close to each other.

Now, part of this is undoubtedly attributable to Tom’s overly romantic nature. 

Yes, Tom Riddle is a giant romantic, though not necessarily in the traditional sense everyone thinks of. The film “Patton” and its treatment of Patton comes to mind. Tom Riddle is a man enamored by a sense of greatness, of being remembered in this world rather than fading into oblivion, by the significance of places and times in history not only of the world but of himself. He creates an entire, grand, persona for himself because to live an ordinary life for him is to be worthy of nothing.

So, given that, of course Tom places the horcruxes in sentimental locations that have personal meaning to him.

However, it also makes them perilously easy to find and collect.

By itself, this wouldn’t spark my notice.

The ability to destroy horcruxes are not easy to come by. There’s only one basilisk and it’s by chance/Lucius fucking up that Harry gains access to the necessary basilisk venom. Using Fyendfire is an incredibly dangerous thing to do and just as likely to blow up you and the next three towns over as it is to destroy a horcrux. And if there are other means of destroying a horcrux they’re just as hard to come by or just as dangerous.

It’s not quite throwing it into the fires of Mt. Doom from which it was forged but it’s pretty damn close.

So, really, without JKR’s convenient Deus Ex Machina giving both him and Dumbledore the means to actually destroy these things, Tom Riddle’s horcruxes are pretty damn safe no matter where we put them. As we see from the locket, which Regulus manages to collect but Kreacher cannot destroy even after several decades.

However, what does spark my notice, is that the horcruxes can be collected by someone other than Tom Riddle when it appears as if they were never intended to be. What do I mean by this?

From what we see, there’s no benefit to Tom if the original horcruxes are found by anyone. He doesn’t seek them out to restore his original body, they’re just anchor points that should be hidden at all costs. So, he’ll never need a Death Eater to go collect them for him should he be indisposed (indeed, to do so would require a tremendous amount of trust in people he has very little trust in). 

So, why hide them in such a way that others can access them? There are canon based options which would have prevented anyone else from reaching them. Given the existence of age lines, I imagine Tom Riddle could make some arbitrary barrier keyed only to himself. There are mokeskin pouches, such as the one Harry is given in the seventh book, which we know can only be accessed by whoever they’re keyed to. There’s the Fidelius Charm which, true requires a secret keeper which Tom would be very meh on, but options exist.

Tom Riddle could wipe the locations of his horcruxes off the face of the map. He chooses not to. Which leads me to believe that, at least on some unconscious level, he wants the horcruxes to be found.

Then we have the protections.

Specifically, I’m thinking of the locket here.

Yes, the protections are very formidable, but they’re also goddamn weird. 

Rather than make the horcrux simply inaccessible, kill all those intruding, instead the intruder has to go through a very “Saw” like puzzle in which they drown themselves in despair until they finally get the locket, at which point they likely suicide by zombie.

More, there’s no hint that there’s any other way to retrieve the locket. 

Backdoors in security are a very bad idea. What they do is weaken the security as a whole and, if you can take a short cut is, it means that someone who is clever enough and motivated enough can to. Dumbledore is both clever and motivated enough, and I imagine if there was a way to get the horcrux that involved not doing this ridiculous task he would have done it.

More, we’d be back to the land of Tom making sure only he can access the horcrux by requiring a password, keying it to his magical signature, or something so that no one else could get it.

Which means, that’s right, if Tom wants to get the locket he’s drinking the goddamn despair juice just like the rest of us.

What kind of a person would do any of this?

I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t think Tom Riddle’s crazy. Rather, in this case, I think he’s driven by an unbelievable amount of nihilist rage and is also quite depressed.

Tom goes to collect his horcrux, “Ah, it’s time to remember what a miserable life I’ve led and the sheer awfulness of my own existence. Good, I was starting to feel a little too happy. Let’s see if I get eaten by my undead, vengeful, victims today.” 

The Events of Deathly Hallows and Tom Riddle’s Death

I think Tom Riddle’s final death in the books was suicide.

Tom takes over the Wizarding World, finally, and it’s as miserable as ever.

He’s trapped in this sham, barely functional, probably very painful body. His Death Eaters are completely out of control and for all that he wanted society to burn it’s now burning and no one’s even learned anything from this. Children in Hogwarts are being routinely tortured and have now staged a rebellion in which he’s having to slaughter them (I have reasons to believe that this is not what Tom Riddle wanted, at all, but that’s best saved for another post), and then he learns his horcruxes have all been destroyed without him even noticing.

There’s so little left of him, he has accomplished nothing, and there’s Harry Potter back from the dead yet again, gloating at him that love conquers all and Tom Riddle will never understand.

And Harry’s right, Tom Riddle will never understand, the world is meaningless and flat to him now and he finally understand that there’s no point to it. I think Tom Riddle decides he’s done. He’s just done.

He enters in a duel with Harry Potter knowing the weird nature of their wands. Now, it can be assumed he used the Elder Wand, but we know they get locked in Priori Incatatum , and that makes no damn sense with the Elder Wand (well, wandlore in general is silly, but I’m working with what JKR gave me here). So I choose to take JKR at her somewhat established canon and say that, no matter what Harry thought, Voldemort was using his original wand.

He throws out the killing curse, despite having now witnessed Harry resurrecting twice to this thing, and within two seconds it rebounds and kills him.

Voldemort’s death is a lot like this scene from the recent, terrible, 2020 live action Mulan (10/10 do not recommend).  Now, we’re supposed to think that this scene is the witch saving Mulan’s life and thus showing her hope for the next generation. In actuality, the witch literally flies into an arrow she could have easily deflected from Mulan’s path. It’s a suicide that Mulan is too stupid to notice.

Tom chooses suicide in the most ridiculous, flamboyant, and easily written off manner one can and no one even notices. Instead Harry crows that he has personally defeated Voldemort, with the power of love no less, HUZZAH!

And the castle parties.

The Nature of Horcruxes

I almost don’t want to include this because it’s so... well, I’m really drifting far from canon and fandom now.

However, with horcruxes, there’s always an overriding question of why Tom is able to make so many when we don’t see anyone else with these things around (especially as it’s clear that murder doesn’t simply happen for those that now have horcruxes).

Usually, you have fic authors just sort of shrug and go, “Well, he’s that evil, I guess.” Sometimes you have them go, “No one else is crazy enough to keep going, and that’s why Voldemort’s cuckoo bananas.” 

One very good explanation I’ve seen is that it’s because most people, when they murder, feel remorse immediately. The soul split happens, but they’re haunted by the murder for the rest of their life, and thus the horcrux isn’t made. Voldemort, feeling nothing when he kills anyone, is thus able to make them even for when he’s only indirectly associated with the death in question.

However, to me that never really jived philosophically.

Mostly, I simply cannot imagine that tearing apart your very soul is an act of indifference. Here’s how I see it: to do something like that to yourself, you must care, you must care beyond all imagine and human endurance. Your soul literally cannot abide it and saws itself in half, purging what you cannot stand about yourself the most. 

The remorse part is, yes, remorse for the act and the victim but more to the point it is the ability to forgive and reaccept the worst part of yourself. That part of yourself that you purged and destroyed, which is nearly impossible to do and might very well destroy the fabric of who you are). 

In other words, while creating a horcrux is an abominable act of hatred, it is also one of profound self-hatred.

Tom Riddle loathes himself so much that he is able to do this over and over and over again. 

As Tom Riddle goes on he makes himself into less and less and less of himself until he probably doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He just knows, whatever is left of him, he loathes that too. 

And then, of course, he gives up, runs into the nearest flying arrow, and dies.

TL;DR: Tom Riddle’s is a miserable existence that ended in a miserable if unintentionally hilarious manner

[neon-green-reagent]

UFO Abduction Movies That Shoot Me Into Space

When I discovered The X-Files so very many moons ago, I developed a hyper-fixation on UFOs and extraterrestrials and people who claimed to have been abducted. My opinions have changed a lot over the years, to be sure. But one thing hasn’t changed. Regardless of what I believe, the notion of an incredibly advanced group of beings kidnapping you and taking you apart like a toaster... I mean, it scares me. It did then, which is why I was fascinated probably. And I still think it makes for a damn good story. Which is why I made this list. So let’s go. 

Fire in the Sky | I saw this one around the time of my X-Files craze. I think it owes a lot of its popularity on cable at the time to the rising ratings of that show. It covers the real life case of Travis Walton. He was leaving a logging job with his coworkers when he was abducted, and his friends drove away in fear. By the way, what a bunch of dicks, but I digress. The movie takes liberties. The biggest one being that quite memorable scene toward the end where Walton fully remembers what the aliens did to him. I’ve mentioned this movie in a list before, I think, as pants-browningly scary, and I stand by that regarding that scene alone. It transforms a dark drama about PTSD into full-on horror. 

Communion | This one’s about Whitley Strieber’s supposed abduction story. It stars Christopher Walken, who plays Strieber like a person who was living on another planet long before the E.T.s every arrived. Which the author didn’t take kindly to, but it results in an absolutely riveting performance. You seriously cannot look away from the bizarre choices Walken makes with his acting. Couple that with “this is what Scientologists actually believe” levels of wackiness, and it becomes one of the darkest comedies to ever see the light of day. 

Alien Abduction | Simply named. This one is all about the Brown Mountain Lights. A family goes into the mountains of North Carolina for a little vacation, and they get bodied by a bunch of grays. This one hits the spot in a way that I didn’t know I needed until I watched it. If you read the actual accounts of these experiences, it’s ambiguous what the creatures want, and they tend to insist they don’t mean the abductee any harm. THESE GRAYS MEAN A LOT OF HARM. They dish out some fucking HARM. Not ambiguous. You’re a lab rat. Get ready to be ripped off this earth by a tractor beam that will break all the bones in your body as it hurls you through space and into a greasy ship to be turned inside out by evil, monster doctors. YEAH. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie. 

The MacPherson Tapes | As mentioned in the found footage list, people thought this was real. That’s so charming to me, I can simply never let it go. I just love that. These kids in costumes... People went, OH MY GOD THAT’S A ALIUM. And It’s just adorable. I say that, but I can see that without credits or a title sequence, the film comes off as horrifyingly sincere. Just a family celebrating a birthday, when all hell breaks loose. The most chilling part being the mind control bits. Grays are famous for being able to speak to humans without moving their mouths, implying psychic powers. This movie takes it to the next level, turning them into little Professor Xs who can lure you outside when you lock yourself up in your house. 

Dark Skies | What I love about this one is the way that it mimics a paranormal film. Tweak a little of this, and you’d assume ghosts or demons. But the film turns a corner, and we’re in UFO territory. The extra special thing about that is, what can you do in a ghost movie? What tropes do you use to protect yourself? Move out of the house. Get a priest. Some paranormal investigators. Holy relics. Meanwhile, if your problem is extraterrestrial, there’s not a damn thing you can do. They have better tech. They’re way smarter than you could ever hope to be. And they’re tenacious. The movie sort of chews you up and spits you out in that sense, when you’re used to the ghosts being banished by the end. 

I know, it’s a short list. The X-Files might’ve made it popular, but not many people have been willing to tackle it for horror. If you know of more, tell me. I’ll try them. Though not The Fourth Kind. Wasn’t too fond of that one. Otherwise, fire away!