#If u cant tell this is the most interesting thing i got out of this manga

[frobby]

Something i really like about yohaji is its distinction between relationships with peers amd relationships with superiors.

One thing i thought was kinda silly at the begining was that haruaki was always hanging out with his students lile during breaks and shit (felt most strongly when they get scolded for breaking a window while playimg baseball) and i reason well hes the main character of course hes hanging out with the principal cast and i would have been fine with that.

But no not only does tanaka-sensei provide a in character reason (haru had a terrible school life) they come at me with 'haruaki is jealous of people friends' and what i think is really interesting about that initial chapter is that typically it would end with an 'oohhh but they ARE you're friends' but no it ends with 'even if you didn't make friends as a child you can still make adult friends' with miki and izuna becoming his friends.

This is echoed in the arc where haruaki is a student WITH sano and with his students and he has so much fun but finally he says 'im not your friend im your teacher' the relationships you have with your teachers and adults and vice versa in your life arent without value but theyre not the same as ones you make with your peers and should not be treated as such

[bunnihearted]

.

[hiddenbeks]

hmm. isabeau teaching brynjolf ballroom dances

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

[gatorbites-imagines]

The Hobie brown x male reader fics are non existent and it’s so confusing. Like he’s so fruity????

Sooooo- could u do hc’s for Hobie please? :0 either smut fluff or both! <3

Thank u <3

Hobie Brown nsfw alphabet

Have an alphabet :)

I am 100% blaming @trianglesimp for some of these headcanons, cuz oh boy. They got some of that toe curling content.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hobie would of course do aftercare if he ever topped, but he bottoms most of the time, so you’re the one who’s gotta take care of him instead. He doesn’t need too much, maybe a wet wipe to get some of the spit and cum off his face, if he’s feeling it, and you checking in on him, but other than that your good.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part about himself is probably his legs or his lips, on you its your dick, or your hands and shoulders.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Hobie nasty, but in the good way. He doesn’t care where you cum, as long as its on him or in him, or both. The type to gargle your cum if you bust in his mouth, just because. Or sticks his tongue out and lets it drip all over the floor or your lap.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I cant see Hobie as the kind to have a dirty secret, why keep it a secret when he could tell you and have you do it to him, you know? Dirtiest secret is that he collects Pokemon cards or something like that, wont admit he likes it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pretty damn experienced, isn’t the kind to beat around the bush and has had his handful of one night stands or short relationships. The kind to try things out if they sound interesting, and keep doing them if he likes them.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Likes anything really. But if you are a fellow spiderman, you guys fuck on the ceiling more than either of you like to admit. Likes to be pushed up against the wall chest first, or for you to fuck his face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Never takes anything too seriously. Would pick up a phone call if his phone rang. Takes you out of his mouth to answer his watch from the spider alliance, see what they want, and take you back into his mouth after, or even during the call if it’s boring.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn’t put too much effort into it, sure he still wants to look good but doesn’t put too many hours into it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In the beginning of your relationship, I can’t see him as too romantic, but after a while and you two really do fall in love, he has his moments where he just wants to make love or babbles about how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Doesn’t jerk off a whole lot. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a high libido, because he does, but he just goes to you if he needs to get off. Why do it himself when hes got you around to help him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism.

Marking (Hickeys, spit, cum, knifeplay, etc)

Choking

Makeup stains (like making him suck you off when hes wearing lipstick, runny mascara, etc)

Powerplay

Praise kink

Degradation kink

Taking photos and videos

Semi public or even fully public

Collars or wearing a lock on a chain

Wearing a plug or different toys after you’ve filled him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, anytime. He does not care, as long as there’s enough space for you guys to fit.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Not too hard to get Hobie going tbh. Just look at him right, grab his thigh or put your hand in his back pockets. Send him a text to meet you in the bathrooms, or just motion towards it. He isn’t picky.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I like to think he would try out most things, but something he would never do is things like raceplay, or finance play. Why would he want to bring something like capitalism into the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers giving, but has nothing against receiving. Just likes going down on you even more than he likes when you do it on him. Has no gag reflex, or has very little of a gag reflex, so he can easily take all of you and just let you warm on his tongue if need be.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You guys’ pace tends to be pretty fast, mainly because you’re both worked up and don’t have the patience for going slow. Of course, you guys have moments where you take it slowly and full of love, but for the most part its quick and dirty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

All for quickies, Hobie loves them. You don’t even have to ask for the most part.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I like to think Hobie is the type to try out most things once to see if its anything he likes, so he’d be up to try anything you bring to the table, as long as you’ll try anything he brings in too.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Because of the spider bite he’s got incredible stamina, and there’s no way for you to keep up unless you were bitten too or have powers of your own. Could go all night and all morning if he wanted too, and still go out for patrol, if that says anything.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Owns a handful of toys, but for the most part its toys you guys can use together, or you can use on him. Hed rather just wait for you to get home to get off, instead of using toys.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A big tease, loves to tease you and wear the clothes he knows you love, or rub up against you when you guys are supposed to just be hanging out. You give as good as you get though, which Hobie loves too.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Mans is loud and isn’t scared of being vocal. Its lead to you having to clamp a hand over his mouth as you fuck him, which just makes Hobie even louder, it’s a horrible cycle.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Knows how to sew, knit, anything really. Uses it to patch up his battle vest, or other clothes of his or yours. Why go out and get new stuff when he can just fix it himself. Knows how to make a pretty amazing orange cake for some reason.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average in length, but isn’t too thick, a nice size that needs a bit of work to get ready for, and you might be intimidated the first time you see it if you wanna take it in your mouth. A few veins. Cut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Has a pretty high drive, and unless you are a spider person too it can be a little hard to keep up most days. But if you are exhausted, he will take care of himself if he has too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Id you guys are in your bedroom he’d fall asleep pretty quickly after, as long as you are in the bed with him. But if its anywhere else he just walks it off like nothing happened.

[nejjirez]

"MINE"

pairing: e!42 miles x blk! fem reader

genre: fluff , protective miles

miles = dark purple you = pink (naisa is you)

a/n: whew lawrd i got so many damn books to post .. yall in for some treats good JESUS , but trust ima get yall requests soon i promise

-----------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------

you were walking back home from the store , it wasn't too far away from where you live , so walkin won't a problem .

on the way back you heard your phone buzz , taking it out of your pocket to see who texted you. "1 new message from: Miless 💘."

miles was texting you to ask where you were at , worried on why you weren't home yet since he was at your house. you texted back smiling , reassuring him that you'll be fine , and your're on the way. butttt miles looked over that , and face timed you.

when you answered , he was side eyeing the camera , on the game that he set up in your room. "didnt i tell you to ask me before u use my tv?" you sighed , looking around your room to see what else he had done.

"yeaa sorry ma , my ass was bored waitin on u , but where you at?" miles fully turned his head towards the camera , squinting trying to make out where you were at.

you put your face all up in the camera , makin faces and laughing. "ma im not playin , where are you" he put his controller down , speaking in a more serious tone which made you back up from the screen.

"chill , im on my way ri-" suddenly , a boy who looked about your age came up to you , cheesin away. you kept walking , not interested.

the boy started walking behind you , trying to talk to you which .. didnt play out well. "yoo u from here?" he managed to catch up to you , trying to walk beside you.

miles heard the male's voice which caused his head to shoot towards the phone , picking it up looking around your surroundings.

"yea , i'm from my man's place , move along ." you snarled , walking faster looking at your phone to see miles with the most annoyed facial expression ever.

"aye not gon lie he prolly a bitch like most niggas round here , i could fs do better lil ma" this was miles last straw .. womp womp.. "oh hell na ." miles said before taking a good look at where you were , and hanging up.

the boy heard the voice coming from your phone as you walked faster , causing him to laugh. "aye was that him? see he prolly mad at u now , come fuck wit a real nigga" at this point you were irritated , not wanting miles to be mad at you because someone else tried talking to you.

"nigga fuck off , been said i got a man thats yo cue to leave . actually that ain't even my man , we married. so bye.." you went to imsg on your phone trying to text miles to get this boy away from you as soon as possible , he was pissin you off at this point.

miles texted you back with a simple "omw mami." which caused you to look around , seeing if he was anywhere in sight.

after a few minutes of this bum still tryna talk to you and follow you , you felt hands around your waist walking with you , causing you to quickly turn around trying to move until you noticed it was your bf , miles.

"the fuck?? this yo man?" he looked miles up and down , which pissed the both of yall off. you opened your mouth to say something , but before you could talk , miles did.

"nah nigga im her husband , i know u heard her say she taken so why u still tryna fw her? take yo big boosie fade head ass on somewhere bruh and getchu a retwist , yo ass got butterfly locs atp" miles laughed a lil at his own joke , meanwhile you were crackin tf upp

the boy side eyed yall , and walked off mad asf , you and miles were still crackin up at the back of this nigga head , retwists do not exist to him

"ight ight jokes aside , you lmk when shit like that happen we cant have niggas lookin like THAT tryna fuck wit you naisa" he wiped a few lil tears from his eyes due to laughing , you did the same.

"nigga did not give up.." you thought of the things the boy said , making you cringe.

miles put his arm around you , walking back home and kissed you on your forehead.

"mine."

[akutasoda]

i love ur writing so much, i cant hold myself back from requesting <333 this is my first time requesting something !!

i dont really know how to start this but what if the bsd characters (im not picky with them so you can pick any!!) were to meet the reader that has the same personality as Sparkle in Honkai starrail? Sorry if this doesnt make sense-

if u can write this then thank u!! if i requested this at the wrong time then im sorry

a thousand faces

synopsis - when they meet someone that is engrossed in theatrics

includes - yosano, nikolai, jouno, ayatsuji

warnings - gn!reader - based off sparkle, fluff, slight crack, wc - 789

a/n: thank you!! <3 it made perfect sense dw :)

taglist - @vi-chan07

akiko yosano ★↷

↪if she thought ranpo had a thing for dramatic reveals she'd be proven wrong. to her, you clearly had some sort of unhealthy love toward theatrical actions that brought you 'amusement' - so much so that it would the only thing to interest you.

↪ because she wasn't exactly the most out there and amusing person, you saw no business with her but somewhere you must of found something to amuse yourself.

↪she could tell you were unscrupulous. no regard for moral principles, no regard for how much you'd lie and no hesitation to play unfairly. to her that was concerning, nothing good could come from being associated with someone like you.

↪but you were still completely hard to read. never would she expect to understand you thoughts or actions and while that scared her slightly, it also made her more on edge around you. never knowing what you would do next.

nikolai gogol ★↷

↪a master of theatrics such as himself could easily understand another maestro of theatrics. that's what drew him to you and you to him. you both lived for some kind of amusement even though your love for it stemmed deeper than his - afterall he longed for freedom more so.

↪you two would be the equivalent of a clown and an actor. you both had little regard for mortality and would happily play dirty if it meant achieving what you oh so desired - you both lived for the thrill of theatrics and attention.

↪although he could understand your love for amusement, he still couldn't read you. he couldn't tell what you were going to do, say or think - all he could do was understand why you acted so afterwards. but really that made you all the more interesting.

↪you found alot of amusement in nikolai. he was exactly the kind of person that could reflect and different yet mostly familiar side to your usual antics. it was also his dedication to the art of performance that grabbed your attention.

↪you were both equally cunning maestro's of dangeroud theatrics, each for their own reason and goal yet you could still understand one another. afterall the art of performance could be understood by it's accompanying actors. (theatre kids fr)

saigiku jouno ★↷

↪for someone who thought on the side of justice, he was incredibly morally gray. it was that twisted side of him that would lead to him grabbing your attention as you reckoned he would aid to your 'amusement' in his own way.

↪jouno hated the way he couldn't read you - well he couldn't see you but there was something about you that preventing him picking up anything through his senses. some actors can perfect complete control of their body and it's emotions, you were no different.

↪he could tell that you always looked for some way to be extravagant. to seek that amusement through any means necessary, mostly when it's outgoing and attracts the attention of anyone. a part of him wanted to respect that.

↪he could also tell that you were very particulate and only got attracted or engaged in things is if they promised amusement or some form of art of performance.

↪for a while he did find you slightly annoying but he would get used to the way you were rather outgoing and predicament.

yukito ayatsuji ★↷

↪he has met quite the range of characters after solving 50 000 cases as a detective for 20 years. all ranging from enclosed and secluded people to the extravagant outgoing ones who like to run their mouths, but he would have to admit he's never met someone like you.

↪while he could compare you to certain people, they all don't have the same level of dedication you do to theatrics and amusement. because the only thing that grabbed your attention was 'amusement' you tended to ignore him for a while - he wasn't fun in your eyes.

↪but he found you interesting. he couldn't read you at all, couldn't understand why you acted the way you did or even what you could be thinking. the only thing he could tell about you was that you clearly had no moral principles.

↪you could lie and lie or even go back on your words without a minute of trepidation if it meant you received the 'amusement' you wanted. and that interested him - how far would you be willingly to go?

↪he could actually admire your dedication to theatrics - not so much understand but he found it admirable nonetheless.

[things-that-weevils-do]

ive been turning these 2 around in my mind so so much lately... id like to share why i like them, so ill do so under cut :)

what draws them together? both of their traumas are part of them. neither of them are going to 'get better' in the expected way. they can learn to cope with their struggles, possibly get medications to help with that, but that's it. theyre similar in many things ('their trauma isnt leaving', both are suicidal "feeling suicidal/i wish i wasnt alive" "i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL"), neither like who they are as people "all the pretty girls make me not wanna be me" "do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?") and both of their songs are about their relationships with other people, even if its not the main theme

weevildoing said this about disposable girl. with chemical girl, its more obvious

this gives them both a deeper understanding of each other !! even though their traumas are still different, theyve got this similarity. they could talk about that, relate to each other, etc...

another thing that draws them together: their interests, id say! she was a skater girl she was a fitness girl, can i make it any more obvious... most of their hobbies arent the exact same, but they are at least in a similar vein id say - anime and gundam, skating and fitness, rap and megan thee stallion. they could easily enjoy each other's interest, i think!:)

what stands in the way? misunderstanding and miscommunication. i think that (when theyre first getting to know each other, at least) disposable wouldnt stand up for herself/tell chemical when shes uncomfortable/when chemical says something that upsets her ("being mistreated would at least mean im real" "that at least means youre someone that they wanna be around"). she'd feel like voicing these things would cost her her and chemical's relationship. i also feel like she wouldnt see this as something worth communicating, possibly

thatd be a problem in all relationships ofc, but itd upset chemical girl especially. she has a hard time forming relationships ("i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?"). she pushes others away so that she cant hurt them ("theres no point in getting close, leave me alone"). i think that if she and disposable got close, and she found out that it isnt communicating its feelings, shed be upset !! yknow ?? thinking that youve finally found a friend that likes you as you are, when in reality ur just hurting them with everything that you say... getting close to someone for the first time in forever, opening up, just to find that out would probs frustrate her

have an example of smth that i think that would happen when theyre first getting to know each other

i think they'd communicate this eventually tho:) yay yippee! im communication and im understanding🏳️‍🌈the girlfriends

what are their good traits? they want to be there for each other, to help each other grow, to understand one another!! like in "what draws them together?", they understand each other more than the average person. they could help each other accept this - like, its easier to accept people for things that you beat yourself up about, yknow? were more strict with ourselves than other people, its easier to deem someone else as deserving of love than yourself, etc etc... since theyre similar in many things, they could learn to love themselves while they start to love each other !! i hope that makes sense..

them sharing hobbies would be SOOO so cute!!! chemical teaching disposable fitness so that she has an outlet for her frustration, disposable teaching chemical how to skate... chemical showing it gundam, her figurine collection, disposable showing her anime, them listening to rap together.... it would be so cute !!!!! i think disposable would enjoy fitness, but would be embarassed by being bad at it/being slow/sweating a lot/etc. chemical would be cheering her on, proud of her for the smallest improvements... likewise, i think chemical would suck at skating. steps on the skateboard and it explodes. u know how it is

what makes them hopeless at romance? ARGHHH "what to do, when everybody that ive loved has only up and left me?" "im alwasy left out of everything" "nobody fuckinf wants me" vs "theres no point in getting close, leave me alone" "i dont think you should come by my place tonight" "nobody can keep up with me"... need i say more...

i think they should latch onto each other like leeches and never let go

thank you if youve read this far:) theyre so everything to me !!!! theyre sooo... god... shaking them!!!! arghrrrr!!! chemwaste!!! save me chemwaste!!!

(both of these poses are from mellon_soup)

[kichona-s]

Hereby requesting facial structure rant

ok for those who dont know this is reference to my post where i cry about george's beautiful fucking face at 2am

this is pretty fucking specific and also pretty long so i wont clog your tl with it so its under the cut

OK FOR GEORGE. Personality and everything else aside he has my most favourite face out of the entire grid (sorry guanyu) BECAUSE. LOOK AT HIM. THERE SO MANY NICE ANGLES AND ITS SO NICE AN LONG AND HIS CHEEKBONES??? THE JAW??? his nose also fits his face really nicely ok but the key is to not look at him head-on you need to get the side profiles and the 3/4 views because FUCK. i love so much theres so many points of interest for his face also his chin juts out really strong which looks lowkey kinda funny in some pictures but it really adds to the whole angleley bony face structure he has going on anyway. george my number 1 fav face the only thing im not a big fan of are his ears rip theyre too round for the whole angular coherency BUT THATS FINE IDC

MOVING ON TO MAX VERSTAPPEN (this is not done in a ranking order btw i havent drawn the whole grid so i cant properly rank everyone) ok like im gonna be real with yall. i thought he was fucking ugly as shit when i first got into f1. like i looked at his photo and was like ??? ig he wins a lot lmao OK BUT THEN LIKE A FEW MONTHS AGO I KEPT GETTING MAX STUFF ON MY TIKTOK FYP AND I WAS LIKE. HOLD ON. HIS PERSONALITY KINDA CUTE ASF. ok yea basically i gaslit myself into loving his face (either that or charles possessed me). for max im way too drawn to his lips (@loquarocoeur bro u know this lmfao) and ngl anyone who read the notes in my face breakdown u could probably tell but i love his lips??? so much??? gonna keep it pg here but he should suck on more things other than the twisty redbull can straw things

still on max but i really like how fucking square his face is. its so refreshing to draw. also did you notice that he has a small ass forehead?? bc he does. he looks wrong when i draw his forehead too big its kinda funny (looking at YOU oscar). i also really like his ear shape? it bends pretty low so it looks kinda cute and i try to make sure i draw it properly lmfao. special note to when hes looking down but then his eyes look up and holy smokes it brings out his nose bridge and the eyebrow bone thing SO WELL???!! anyway i want to eat him

for oscar uh. his face is oval? i guess?? after all the oscars ive drawn youd think i have more to say but i dont :( his face is pretty and also sometimes a pain to get right but other than that nothing too much for me to rant about. OK BUT HIS HAIR??? LOVE HIS HAIR I LOVE THE FUCKING SWOOPY THING IT DOES (it also makes my life WAYYY easier bc i can just draw the swoop and most people know its oscar yay for good character design). also everyone is right he does look like a cat. a cat with a massive fucking forehead. also whenever i draw him i remember that hes only three years older than me and its pretty scary ngl! thats hitting a bit too close to home for my taste! hes cute though and ive definitely drawn some banger oscars so one love

NOW FOR LANDO WHOOOOIMABOUTAMAKEANAMEFORMYSELFHERE! ok firstly his face is like a V so i always need to remind myself to bring the sides of his face in more compared to oscar. also did you know his eyes are a bit lopsided? theyre on different parallel lines im telling you go look at the 2023 official driver photos its So Bad i want to cry (that was also my first introduction to him so. i thought he was fucking ugly too). his face is really interesting to draw especially with his eyebrows that fade in and out and are really fucking bushy in the middle LMAO. do i love his face? nah. is it fun to draw? yea pretty fucking fun ESPECIALLY because he somehow suits all the funny shit i wanna put him in like dresses and skirts and bikinis (and also @cx-boxbox is an enabler istg half of the landos ive drawn probably wouldnt exist without her) also his ears look pointy from certain angles and i think thats really cute so i always draw them pointy :))

for charles uh i dont like drawing his hair its a pain. nice face i guess

LASTLY MY ONE AND ONLY!! THE MAN WHO BREAKS ME OUT OF ARTBLOCK REPEATEDLY!!!! ZHOU GUANYU!!!!!!! he's just very cute to me i love his stupid fucking eyebags AND ALSO THE WAY HE SMILES IS ADORABLE I WANNA PASS OUT :(((((( i dont draw his non-chibi version as much bc whenever i do i feel the need to make him Perfect (because hes my fav yknow) so i tend to just. not do it. unless i need to cure my artblock then i draw him so idk hes like my pc reset button. anyway i love zhou and i love looking at pictures of zhou and if he doesnt get a seat next year i will probably cry. also shoutout to sweetcorn the bestest most adorablest cat (wins out jimmy and sassy btw i dont care sweetcorn is the best fight me)

comments questions and arguments are all encouraged i stand firm in my stances (for now at least we'll see again 6 months later)

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Do you have recommendations for shows/books/whatever with canon/basically canon polyamory?

ok the only media w officially canon polyam i personally consumed are Iron Widow and Hades.

Iron Widow is a mecha scifi/chinese fantasy book, it has pacific rim mechanics, so it takes 2 ppl to pilot the mecha but its more dystopian in that the pilot (male) usually drains the life force of his concubine (female). the mc has a guy shes interested in from the start but she pushes him aside to seek her goals to become a concubine pilot (theres a very good reason for this but i dont wanna give too much away) ends up being forced to work w the most dangerous pilot (spoilers hes actually a misunderstood sweetheart and i love him), her first love somehow finds his way back into her life so he can be their ally and its very clear from the first time he meets the other guy that this bitch is bi af. At one point he literslly saves their lives and i wont elaborate on that cause again spoilers but someone mentioned it in a propaganda ask. They canonically fall in live w each other and start dating. Please look up the trigger warnings first cause theres some heavy subjects addressed in this book. The book itself has trigger warnings listed at the start so if u find it at a book store u can check them this was too.

Hades is a roguelike videogame w dating sim mechanics (ish) -you give gifts to characters to learn more about them, and theres two romance options but you can romance both at once, they're both aware of and okay with it, hinting that they mightve had a past even before zagreus was born (its greek gods one is death incarnate the other is one of the furies, they've basically existed since forever)

From the submissions I got:

ive been told Leverage is like the korrasami of polyam, as in they were as polyam as they could be in a show from 2010, so it sounds like its canon but not explicit because they couldnt get away with that.

The girls from Amphibia are apparently in a similar situation, heavily implied canon, someone told me it was confirmed by people who worked on the show, but i dont think its explicitly stated.

The Kane Chronicles apparently also has canon polyam, although its 2 bodies, cause I think one of them has a god in him or something? I never read the books, but I was told Sadie (i think thats her name? The girl) is in love w both of them, and kinda dating both too i think?

I dont know if Singing in the Rain is canon but theres that kiss gif that got prrtty popular on tumblr where kathy kisses one of the guys then the other, so it looks canon? or at least implied canon?

Sense8 as some people have mentioned has 1 officially confirmed to be canon throuple, 1 that has a lot of hints to confirm but a lot of ppl see it as a gay couple w a very supportive friend ig and someone else said in general because of the plot u could kind of see the 8 of them as a big polycule, although that one isnt canon

HoneyWorks/Heroine Tarumono is one of those songs turned novel turned anime. i dont think its confirmed canon but theres a lot of stuff pointing to the possibility, you mightve see @non-fantasy telling me about them in a few asks. im obsessed and ive yet to watch anything

Penumbra Podcast: Second Citadel has Rilla/Sir Damien/Lord Arum, i also haven't listened to this one but a lot of people told me rilla and damien were in a pre-established relstionship, both got crushed on lord arum separately, talked about it and worked things out to now be a canon polycule

im She-Ra (netflix) theres a trio that is implied to be a polycule at the end, a lot of ppl called them canon in the notes but i dont personally ember it being confirmed? i am very forgetful tho. It's Rogelio/Kyle/Lonnie, unfortunately they lost the prelim round

I believe people submitted some others that were canon but im very forgetful so i cant remember right now

[dolliestfairy]

hey idk if your req are open but if u dont mind can you make a hcs + scenario of Yuuji, Megumi & Gojo with Chubby!fem!reader who is a cutesy fairy ? like she's a fairy who love to wear the dolliest and the prettiest soft looking clothes, and also she is very shy but yet so friendly? tysm before and i really love your writings btw! :)

і ɡ𝘰t 𝗍hᥱ ᥴᥙ𝗍ᥱ𝘴𝗍 ᥆ᥒᥱ! ⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑𔓘

Yuuji, Megumi & Gojo with Chubby!fem!reader who is a fairy that loves Dolly & Cutesy Fashion 🎀 ᮫ׅ ๋ 𝆹 ׅ✿

✿ AUTHORS NOTE : hello! well yes yes this is actually my first req ever :3 and if you ask if my req are open or not, well i take req i like and i found interesting. so i never really close it. i'll close it if i put the request : closed sign in my bio if it necessary. but as long as the sign hasnt still written, them feel free to send me your interesting idea.

✿ WARNINGS : none that i aware of? maybe some misspelled word & petnames (babydoll, fairy angel, ++). reader skin color is not announced.

✧ Yuuji

omg this boii?? he freaking loves you sm. he thinks you're the vanilla-est, the softest & the prettiest fairy he ever met.

loves you so freaking much he'd try to do everything for you to keep you happy.

love how your clothes compliment your skin and those perfect combination that really show your curves in a perfect way and also those clothes who gives your fairy wings the prettiest & the most perfect looks!!

feel like he's the luckiest guy ever-!!!

and he looovess it when he sees you compliment yourself in your dolly & cutesy outfit in the mirror, he thinks you look super adorable and just cute cute cute!! 🩷

if you had a thing for plushie, he'd try to buy one every week/month if he had a mission. and after he had done his mission, he's going straight to your favourite plushie store and buys plushie that he thinks you're gonna love<3

after that, he's going to your apartement, knock at the door, and when he sees you all sleepy he chuckled a bit because he cant help but you look so adorable right now! like he can just eat your belly up!

and after that, you both are going to go some cuddles-night FULL! because yuuji really craving and begging to have cuddles with you since he's away in his mission :( <3

⤹˚˖ ♫ ୭ s-c-e-n-a-r-i-o ⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑

yuuji just got back from one of his important mission. he's all tired and miss you so much he felt like he's dying (this boy smh) so he goes straight to your apartement when its midnight. he knock at your door and which its make you curious yet confused of who is it.. so the second you hear a soft knock at your door, you see the window from inside in which you see your supportive bf! and he looks so tired and burnout omg.. so your first instinct was open the door, even when your hands are like really limp and your eyes all like really sleepy, but you tried your best for your bf, and when he sees your sleepy face he cant help but chuckle. "oh! *chuckles* you look really adorable babydoll﹍uhm- anyway i'm so sorry to interrupt you at midnight but i cant help i'm really tired and also i really like need cuddles rn.. so if you dont mind can we.. cuddle together?" and oh how can he even describe how happy he was when you accept him with such love. "of course yuuyuu. *yawn* i'm tired too so, lets get cuddle and sleep together <3"

✧ Megumi

he never EVER imagine in his wildest dream he would ended up falling in love with such a cutesy Fairy gf like a crazy person.

and let me tell you, this boy is actually didnt ready to have you as a gf in the first place.

but now? look at him, he's freaking loves you, so fucking much like its kinda suffocating honestly.

well how could he not??? you're just so soft, plump, and round..... need to be protected and filled with such love and affections 💌

he would never say this out loud, but he actually love the opposite vibes you both give and have! like he's the emo tsundere boy type who wears dark & (mostly) black colored clothes, and then theres his chubby cutesy fairy gf﹍You! who wear the dolliest and the most soft girl looking type of clothes. really shy but friendly at the same time, soft and round, trying your best to hide your fairy-secret, how could he just not love you?? everytime he sees you, he really want to eat your chubby cheeks, but he scared he might bit you so he always hold back </3.

if you love something like flowers, animals, or maybe plushie, then just like yuuji, he would try sometimes to buy you things you would like secretly since we all know this boy is like a tsundere type.

he also the type of bf who would 10 times more comfortable in showing his love in a quiet and serene place.

now dont get me wrong, he still shower you in compliments and appreciation in publics, but in a more quiet place where it was just you and him? be prepared to be dead by suffocating and drowning from his affection and compliments lol <3.

⤹˚˖ ♫ ୭ s-c-e-n-a-r-i-o ⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑

Your bf!Megumi has just invite you to some flower garden this afternoon. after you heard his invitation, you quickly get your ass up from your bed, and prepare for the um.. date? ﹍ anyway- after a couple of minutes you finally have done your outfits! all pink dolly and soft, your wings is hiding in your back, your pixie ears compliment your face & hairs, your nails are done, your cutesy makeup are done too, perfect! time to meet your lovely bf Megumi! ﹍ 14 minutes when you finally arrived at the flower garden, you see your bf in a very gentleman suit, he look just so handsome! you see some girls trying to flirt with him but he quickly shoved them off, still havent realizing your appreance. and after a couple of minutes, he's looking at his phone again after he just shused one of the girls that trying to get into him in which he sees you message

{ Babe! i'm literally around you rn... :( }

he quickly turned around left & right, then & there in which he find you! oh god your Vanilla perfume almost makes him suffocating! "fairy angel i'm so sorry i didnt se-" "its ok meguu.. its fine." you told him. and then you ask him why did he invite you here in which he replied "i found a cafe that you may like. so i want to go there with you. would you like too?" while saying that, he sees your eyes are widening and your mouth are slowly gagging open in which you replied "Are you kidding me meguu!? oh i've come here all dressed like a bambi fairy doll rn so what are we waiting for? <3" he sees how excited you are in which he cant help but chuckle as he shyly hold your hands and says "lets go darling ୧₊˚ ⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑"

✧ Gojo

flirty, flirty, affection.

yup thats the right way to describe this guy.

almost nut after he realize he have a strong feelings for you.

he really love your pixie ears!! they're so cute and pointy. and they somehow makes you more cute and feminine.

and he also love the combination of your fairy wings with your round body!

everytime he put his eyes on your face or your dolly outfits he cant pull them back. he just stare at you because you just look so fucking ethereal and he still trying to proceed about how in the heck he can get so lucky to get someone like you?? you're like the best thing he's ever experienced.

he fricking loves your style! and i can see he's the type of man who would go to buy a match clothes with you. in other words you both sometimes wear dolly clothing together!

his favorite thing to do is when he's free, where he's at your apartement, and you both watch some random movies with matching soft looking pjs ❁♡

everytime he's gone on a mission, he always remembered those each time. and he sometimes wonder what are you doing right now and ect. and thats the reason why he sometimes bragging it to his others companion like his friends or students..

and after he's done from his mission, he goes REALLY STRAIGHT to your apartement, no matter if its midnight, afternoon, or morning.. he's going to knock at your door, and when you open it, you're gonna get jumpscared by this big goofball sudden hugs.

⤹˚˖ ♫ ୭ s-c-e-n-a-r-i-o ⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ ⸰ֺ⭑

this day he's so excited! gojo and his team has already done the mission yesterday night, and was ready to flight off to their region, although.. maybe gojo is a little bit of too ready. well you cant blame him. he miss you so much! also do you even know what days is there! its his freaking birthday!! all of his buddies already saying "happy birthday" to him but he really want ones from you! so after he landed back to his region, he goes fast as fuck to your apartement, but since he's so fast he didnt peek up through your window in which at that time you were piping for his birthday cake! so the second he smack at your door ..﹍ yes. he smacked at your door, you go straight scared of course.. you accidentaly throw his cake who was still in progression while his big body was throwing into yours, you see the cake flying above your head like its kinda slowing a little bit. you were really scared that you froze. but after seeing the guys who is hugging you, and after you see his white hair, you finally snapped back and said "toru?.." he look up at you, in which you were... dont know how to feel. well you were happy he was back but you also cant help but feel furious and anger because he just ruin the birthday cake you made for him. "babe its my-" "i know toru..! its your birthday... but you just fricking ruined the cake i was made for you!.." he sees your face sadden in which he quickly replies "oh no no no no, its- its no matter baby, i'll-﹍i mean we'll make it all over again." "really? but you promised me you wont screwed up ok?" "yes baby. i promise i wont."

[pandabyler]

LONG POST AHEAD

hey pooks! this is a continuation of my post about byler songs, and someone asked me to explain these so here u go!

enchanted (taylor swift)

i put this one because it reminds me a lot about the shed scene. "it was the best thing I've ever done" vs "I was enchanted to meet you"

it reminds me of them as a whole, especially the line "please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you" and "I've spent forever wondering if you knew" which both talk about their feelings for each other, and will wondering if mike knows how he feels. beautiful song 10/10

2. you belong with me

this one is self-explanatory but its probably the most byler song ever. everything is just so them. will comparing himself to el and feeling like a mistake, and being the one to truly understand mike and his interests. mike wants and needs a lot of things that el cant provide, but will can. "cant you see that I'm the one who understands you? been here all along so why cant you see?" "I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're bout to cry" and we've seen will hear up mike when he's sad countless times. 10000/10

3. deja vu

this one reminds me a lot of the byler and mileven parallels. will and mike used to be so close, but now he's spending all of his time with el. "she thinks its special, but its all reused" 9.5/10

4. so american

this one is 10000% in wills pov. to me its about his love for mike. "I'm not gonna...fall in love" -will szn 3 and then season 4 will was just "think I'm in looooooooooooOOOOOOOOVE" (sry this song is just too good) 9.8/10

5. good 4 u

this one is more bitter. it reminds me more of season 3 byler, and how will felt abt mileven. will felt left behind and discarded, and to him, it seemed mike wasn't even fazed (he was) "good 4 u, ur doing great out there without me, baby, GOD I wish that I could do that" 100% in wills pov. 10/10

7. iris (goo goo dolls)

"i just want you to know who I am" will wanting to tell mike how he feels, and that he's gay. this song to me is about their longing for each other, and that they both have secrets they need to be open about. 9/10

8. hear my heart (midnight mantics)

this song is SO SO SO underrated likeee.... but this song is basically about miscommunication, which byler has when it comes to their arguments, and in the end they always sort it out. "my big mistake, was letting you leave when we weren't finished, talking it through" mike to will in s3 and will to mike in s4 9.9/10

9. heather

UGHHH THIS SONG!!! "shes got you mesmerized, while I die" s4 mileven at rink o mania leaving will behind, and all of s3 lollll this song is just so byler 11/10

10. traitor (olivia rodrigo)

def in wills pov, portraying that mike has completely left him once a girl came along. mike making him feel special in the shed, but then showing nothing towards him in season 3 to make him feel special again. not sure if that makes sense but 8/10

honorable mentions

right now (one direction)

"lights go, down and" (the ud being dark) "I hear you calling to me yeah" (will calling for mike in the ud) and "lets go crazy together" vs "crazy together right?" LIKE YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP 10/10

2. strong (one direction)

mike giving will the courage to fight on just for being himself. wills love for mike makes him strong. "so many words we're not saying" (feelings for each other) "but there's nothing I'm running from" (will coming to terms with himself and his feelings for mike" "you make me strong" also also will saying he's felt so lost without mike, and the song goes "but when I'm not with you I'm weaker" 100/10

3. lets hurt tonight (one republic)

"dont walk away, dont roll your eyes" and "you were rolling your eyes, you were moping" which basically is about their communication and needing to talk things out when they argue. "they say love is pain, well darling lets hurt tonight" painful because mileven is together, yes, but also because its going to be so hard for byler to be a couple in the 80s, and they may not be able to do all of the things they wish they could

4. moment like you (liamariejohnson)

ANOTHER UNDERRATED BANGER but to me this is about will not wanting to be replaced for left behind by mike, and coming to terms with his feelings. "please don't leave me here tonight, lonely on the dance floor. cause I've been waiting my whole life, for a moment like you" which could also be seen as the literal intimate moments between byler in s4, and will treasures those heart to hearts and is so glad to finally be close to mike again.

well thats a wrap so lmk what yall think!! dt @skyewaytohell

sry if theres typos guys its 2am and I'm sitting hunchback at my computer

BYLER ENDGAME

[blabberoo]

Sad that i didnt got the time to doodle today >:( so we makin ship analysis babyyy.

Something about Beheaded, Drifter, and V1. Ultradriftcells?? Dv1ftcells?? (Saw these on tags)

Anyways, theres a common theme i see in these 3, and that is existential dread, my favorite soup. Bobby cant die, thus he is well aware of how time will feel faster than before and how he would outlive so many things, that is why attachment is his downfall. Drifter is dying and have so little time, that is why he has little regard of himself, and always tries to focus on what he can do before his time runs out. V1 fears dying, that is why it is the best at what it is doing, a killer machine that continue to perfect its skill, all in the name of blood, fuel that is limited. It is aware that nothing is reserved for their kind on the other side, but it cant do anything but to follow its survival instinct and keep itself feeding.

Ive been blabbering and making comic of driftcells so some of u already know whats up. V1 and drifter, i already shared a few ideas, but the way how drifter disregards his life and v1 clearly values themselves makes an interesting dynamic. V1 cant seem to grasp how drifter can act so nonchalantly about it, after all the drive to survival is so engraved deeply in its code. Drifter somehow sympathizes with v1, knowing he was somehow like that in a way. He knows what it means to dedicate yourself to one thing despite how much blood you coughed up. In a way, they are both cursed under the quarrels of gods and creators.

Beheaded and v1 both find delight in the thrill of combat and bloodshed. That is possibly their way to cope on their own mental dread. Beheaded sees v1 as an elegant being, swift and clean with its work, a being that cant be infected by any disease. V1 finds beheaded very fascinating, considering he is immortal, and in some instances they desire it. They a lil messed up but they got the spirit lmao.

Though perhaps there are a bit of quarrel between the 3. Maybe how beheaded sees how v1 treats drifter. Because for the most part, v1 still sees drifter as a means to survive. Beheaded is clearly attached to drifter. But also drifter's selflessness gets the better of him and sometimes gives too much to both beheaded and v1. The 2 would sometimes retaliate drifter due to them having self preservation in mind, and might had told him that he should act a bit more selfish sometimes

Take away from all of these. These 3 are messed up and are so different from one another, but all of them make up for their own flaws.

Im very normal about them as you can tell.

[temporaryrose200]

hi hi could i request headcanons of william moriarty with an s/o who is a vampire please? (reader can be gender neutral or female, u can decide :)) btw for some details, sunlight cant hurt reader and they have to drink human blood only once a month

take ur time and thank uu :)

(feel free to decline this request if u want btw)

✟pairing: William James Moriarty x GN Vampire Reader

✟genre: Fluff

✟warning: mention of blood, mention of murder and not proof read

✟headcanon

✟fandom: Moriarty The Patriot

✟a/n:So making this was kinda hard. It took me two times for me to finally finish. Though it was fun to write. Anyway thank you for requesting this and I hope you enjoy<3

➳William met you at a ball. William noticed how men would flock to you and if he was being honest he could see why. You were very much attractive. He too was quite drawn to you. Something about you thought seemed off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Was it your cat like eyes, that would follow nobles around the room like they were your prey, or was it your deathly complexion. Whatever it was, William was going to find out. Approaching you, William bowed before introduce himself. Crimson eyes scanned you up and down, searching for clues to point that something was amiss, but nothing! It wasn’t until you opened your mouth. Fangs! Razor sharp teeth. That’s when it clicked, you were a vampire. A fictional creature of the night, that sucks blood from humans. Well, they aren’t fictional anymore.

➳William leaned quite of lot about you at and after the party. Your name, you had just moved from America, strangely you had no family, it was just you alone in this horrible world. There was so much information, except he couldn’t find anything about your past. Leading him to speculate more that you were a vampire. Though there was one thing that didn’t make sense. The sun. William had seen you many times walking around in the sun. Sun was meant to burn vampire right?

➳He finally got his answer when William was going on a stroll around town, when he heard some rustling noise from the alleyway. Following the noise, he snuck down the dark and damp street and he found you in the process of sucking a noble man’s blood. “Well I guess I was right.” As soon as you heard William’s voice you pulling away letting the unconscious man fall to the floor(Not Dead..) You tried explaining that this wasn’t what it looked like, spouting out a bunch of excuses. Obviously William didn’t believe in anything you were saying. You had blood running down your chin, you would need be an idiot to believe the excuses you were making. He would stop you halfway through and explains to you that he wasn’t going to tell. That was never his plan. Really it just interested him that perhaps vampires and other creatures like you exist.

➳As payment for keeping this secret, you would answer any question that the blonde handsome man had. And William had dozens, that at one point during your conversation, William invited you over to his house to have some tea. You told William how vampire can’t go in the sun was a myth and that you only need blood once a month.

𝄞

“The man you saw before isn’t dead, by the way!” “I just hypnotised him”

“Oh don’t worry Miss Y/N”

“Oh thank-“

“He was going to die anyway.”

“WAIT WHAT-“

𝄞

➳The stake to the heart and the mirror thing was very much true. Oh and garlic, which surprised William. So the sun can’t kill you but garlic bread can…?

➳Now let’s get to the relationship. William would most definitely give you his blood. Every single month, the same day the same time, William makes sure you get your blood. And by some chance William can’t do that, he’ll pull some strings and you’ll find a bag of blood in your hands in less than an hour.

➳William’s brothers didn’t like you at first. Well, actually Albert loved you. He thought you were the sweetest person ever. Albert tells you that you’re more human than actually humans! Louis though was suspicious of you, at the start of your rep with William, Louis always kept a wooden dagger nearby. At one point he even put garlic into your food. Only a little bit, not enough to kill you, but it did burn your throat. Louis slowly stopped becoming wary of you. He was beginning to grow a small friendship with you after leaning even after the way he treated you, you still dotted on him. Louis is now a huge Y/N supporter. And if anyone even tries to hurt a single hair on you, they will suffer a slow and painful death…

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[morningstar-chronicles]

(4 year shifter here hi)

I decided I'm shifting. Like I'm ready to dive back in because 4 years??? nothing should take you 4 years to do and thats utter bs and i will NOT stand that. im gonna shift!!! because 4 years of my life is not gonna be wasted fantasizing a world instead of improving my own. i could've mastered a skill in 4 years. out of pure SPITE I WILL BE SHIFTING AND ILL MAKE IT A CONSISTENT THING TO VISIT MY DRS!!!!

Only problem is. I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETYYYYY around shifting. I mostly blame tiktok for this but i have such imposrer syndrome (i just learned that term maybe im usijg it wrong). i feel like nothing im doing is correct and my brain tells me with assurance im not gonna shift because of it.

i know if I just believed id be with my husband rn. but i dont know how and 4 years of conditioning myself to believe i wont im scared i cant undo it and my thoughts on life is *if you dont believe you can do it you won't do it*

l asked my tarot deck for advice on what to do and got:

situation: The devil, Page of swords

what to do: The Emperor

i have no clue what's this is meant to mean 😚

hm. okay so i'm not super well-versed in tarot but i'll consult my books for u

the devil (assuming upright): describes obsession and limitations. given the context, i'm going to assume these limitations are more percieved than actual physical limitations. this pretty much checks out with what you told me here. i'm getting that there is a lot of overthinking and maybe method hopping or trying to make something work that just doesn't align with what you need.

page of swords (assuming upright): tells me that you are very methodical and thorough with your attempts. this is great for most aspects of life, but in my own personal opinion, shifting is about letting go of the details and focusing on the big picture.

the emperor (assuming upright): this was most interesting to me! it appears that you crave structure, and so a method with more structure may still be what works best for you. however, it also appears as though you need to focus on practicality over smaller details. you might benefit from taking a more commonly-known rigid method and changing certain things like the breathing pattern or steps that just don't allow you to relax.

ANYWAY that aside, you can totally shift even if you have doubts!! some people shift the day after they give up (baffling to me??? like omg universe i'm totally giving up... 👀) and i think something that helps a lot of people to know is like... anyone can shift. literally anyone. also i never do the methods right and i've shifted before so like... idk hopefully that helps you feel better about doing things wrong 😭