#In my heart it will always be new zealand and i will not fact check myself

[mickmundy]

2, 14, 51 from the otp asks for Bushmed and/or spoovy? 😊

HIIIII MY FRIEND ABOSLUTELY!!!! EEHEEEE and omg you know i'll never pass up an opportunity to talk about bushmed AND spoovy... HEHE... >:)c

bushmed;

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare? omg... don't hurt/comfort me.,., OHHH NOOOOOOOOOO.,., so in my fics medic is gradually worrying more and more about how sniper is becoming less of a coworker/successful experiment and more of an.,,. object of affection... and i think it's important to medic that no matter how close he gets with someone, it's important that his Clinical Thoughts doesn't get mixed with his Emotional Thoughts and unfortunately sniper is in fact a delicious mixture of the two :(... HEHE.. but i think once they start dating and going to bed together, sniper's always the first to fall asleep. being cuddled up to medic just makes him so sleepy hehe!! but with sniper, medic has a hard time "leaving work at the office"., so once sniper's asleep he'll sometimes (carefully, quietly) check his vitals as discreetly as he can (ones he can without any equipment of course), specifically checking in on his heart. it's more about The Ritual of doing so than anything else (like "oh shit did i leave the oven on? better go double check" type of thing) except, you know, it's sniper's life. so medic will listen to sniper's heart and tell himself it's fine, he's fine, go to bed. but sometimes if he falls asleep worrying about it, he'll SWEAR he heard sniper's heart stop and jolt awake and press his ear to sniper's chest... only to hear the reliable thump thump thump... whew okay see! nothing to worry about! i don't think sniper has nightmares very often so i can see medic's Hyperactive Mind/Weird Sleeping Schedule making him more prone to them. when he gasps and jolts awake sniper instantly wakes up and is like "y'okay, pidge? sorry, did i squish you?" (even though it would be impossible for sniper to squish medic imo LOL) and medic takes a deep breath in through his nose and is like "no, aheh, i'm sorry my heart, i must have had a dream!" and pulls sniper close to him and sniper curls around him and is like "sleep, dovey." (said like a groggy "order") and medic nestles against him and is like "ja, ja, alright, alright,.," but his eyes open again and he presses his palm to sniper's skin... alright it's not too cold, not deathly cold like it was when it was fished out of that ocean water in new zealand and dumped in the morgue and- 14. How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash? OOHHH FUN ONE... i think they're a very fun ship because they can be written as Clashy OR Complimentary... both of them are capable of tenderness though only reserved for Very Few people... both are capable killers who can be (read: Not Exclusively) cold and cunning.., a really interesting dynamic for them for me personally is sniper's professional code vs medic's complete lack thereof and how it affects not only them individually, but how they interact with each other.... i think they're both mutually respectful of it but it's definitely a fun thing to think about!! i've touched on that in one of my mini fics for bushmed week that i wrote last year! of course i think they compliment each other because i think sniper needs someone who is a bit more Outgoing than he is to really show him how to have fun (and in medic's case, make mischief!) and let loose!! HEHE... 51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you? UWAA so many.., sniper leaving one of his shirts for medic to cuddle up to when sniper gets up early and medic stays asleep.. medic massaging sniper's (sore, but he'll never admit it) hands after a long day on the field... laying in silence together and focusing on the sounds of them being Alive Together (sniper likes listening to medic's breathing and medic likes listening to sniper's heart)... ;-;

spoovy;

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare? i hc that heavy has ptsd (and gets treatment from medic for it) and that he is actually quite the restless sleeper. he tries not to bother spy with it if he can, but spy is too receptive to just let heavy brush it off! spy is a night owl himself so he'll often lay in bed with heavy and rub his head or his back while he reads and heavy falls right to sleep! if heavy has a nightmare, spy is awake and right there, ready to comfort him. he asks if he wants to talk about it, or if he needs him to go and get medic. spy always makes sure there's a glass of water and a snack on the bedside table (i think they're both bed time/night time snackers! hehe) if heavy wants it, but usually he's just glad spy is there with him. he focuses on spy running his thumb over the shell of his ear and spy Volunteers to read to him (one of heavy's russian copies of his favorite books, but reads it in french; something heavy loves) and lets heavy cut in with anecdotes about translation and language while spy hums lovingly... <3 14. How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash? tbh i think they have very complimentary personalities. level-headed, rational, very calculated people. i have no clue where the "heavy is dumb" trope came from but i hate it soooo much. i think they're also on the same footing intellectually as well as street-smarts and mercenary capability. while their skillset is Very Opposite i'd say they're still mutually knowledgeable and very emotionally intelligent, too. spy's a little more thickheaded than heavy is, but i think spy needs someone who can cup his face and be like hey. listen and give him earnest advice when he needs it. which is often. because spy is the world's most grand supreme darling little girlfailure and i think heavy sees that but also respects spy enough to know it's more complicated than whatever "surface level reasons" spy has for doing what he does! 51. What’s a non verbal way they say I love you? ah! they love leaving each other notes. it's the linguists in them! spy leaves heavy little notes tied to sasha with a ribbon and heavy stashes notes in spy's disguise kit or in the book he knows he's going to pick up later that day. heavy thinks it's fun to "communicate like a spy does" and spy likes the cheekification of "communicating like a spy does"!! it's playful and very flirty for both of them and they often play games of trying to catch one another in the act of placing the notes!! HEHE.., they have yet to catch each other though!!! >:)

[wanderingstethoscope]

My Near-Death Experience in Vet School

Trigger warning. 

You read that right. 

It was the final year of vet school. After 4 and a half long years of constant grind, sweat and tears, we have made it this far as vet students. All the more reason to push through no matter what, right? Wrong. Well, not always at least. 

I probably should have gotten myself checked up earlier on as soon as symptoms were starting to show. It was about the middle of the year, so I was half-way through completing my clinical rosters. I started feeling light-headed and dizzy at random times during the day, and I always got home feeling completely exhausted. When my mother would tell me to do a chore such as the dishes, I could only mutter the words “I just do not have the energy.”

But of course, I thought that it was normal. I mean, I did work a full 16 hours that day, and the day before, and the day after (yes, really). So obviously, I brushed it off. This exhaustion continued for the next couple of months. I started experiencing shortness-of-breath, my heart rate was always quicker than normal (I assumed that this was due to anxiety while working in the vet hospital), and I struggled to recall certain facts. However, being the goal-driven but also very stubborn me, I refused to get myself checked. I forced myself to push through. In a way, I was worried that my condition might be serious, and that if I were to end up in hospital, I would have had to miss school. I guess my subconscious knew that it could be something serious going on, but I avoided the thought altogether as I all I cared about was school. 

Stupid, stupid girl.

Fast forward towards the end of the year; when my family and I planned a weekend trip to Ohakunae, a town in the North Island of New Zealand (where I studied). That was when we noticed that something was....indeed, seriously wrong with me. I could hardly take a few steps forward without getting out of breath. My thoughts were foggy; as I could hardly think straight. On the way back from our trip, I was so nauseous that I had to lay in the back seat. For some very weird reason, my body suddenly decided that it was craving soup dumplings. Soup dumplings, out of everything! I begged and begged my parents to get some at our usual restaurant “Noodles and Dumplings”. No other soup dumplings would have satisfied me. Once we got there and took a seat at our table, I realised that I had to use the toilet urgently. However, my energy levels were so dangerously low that I could not even find the energy to stand up. The soup dumplings arrived; I took one bite and placed immediately placed my utensils back down onto the table. I could not swallow. I managed an apple when we arrived home. However, things got worse when I suddenly threw up. I remember reaching for my phone to call my dad, and I could hardly utter the words “Get the ambulance.”

The ambulance arrived shortly after; but strangely enough, all my vitals seemed normal. Except for one thing. When they pulled my eyelids down with their fingertips, they all went; “Hmm, well you are pretty pale.” 

They rushed me to the nearest clinic in town. Since I still felt nauseous on the way there, they had to give me an intramuscular shot of Odansetron into my right thigh. That hurt like a ****. The effects of the anti-nausea medication kicked in after 10 minutes, and I immediately felt better. When the doctor performed vital checks on me, everything was normal and I felt so much better. Hence, they let me go and told me to “stay home and rest”. 

My parents, however, were not satisfied. Especially my dad. He refused to let it slide and insisted that I needed a blood test. So after much arguing, there I was again, back at the clinic, getting a blood test. I remember sitting in the waiting room with my parents for results. When my mum and I decided to take a walk around the block, just as we stepped our foot out the door, the doctor came running after us, with a piece of paper flapping in her hands; which I assumed were my blood test results. She uttered the words that would drive any parent into a mode of panic...

“Your daughter needs to go straight to the hospital, right now, to get a blood transfusion. They are expecting her RIGHT NOW!”

Turns out that my haemoglobin levels were dangerously low, at 44g/L (normal being at least 121g/L). 

I was pretty much on my death bed already. 

My parents rushed me to the emergency department at the only hospital in town. Thankfully enough, it was not a long wait. I received a group-chat text on my phone. It was from one of my friends from my clinical rotation at school; and it read; “Hey guys, there is a blood transfusion cat coming in later today. Anyone want the case?”

I replied, with “shocked” emojis; “I’m getting one at the hospital now!”

Turns out that I needed three whole bags of blood. Even with three bags, my blood levels were still low at 80g/L. However, all I was worried about at the time was how I could get back into clinical rotations at school. Yes, that was how stupid I was being overly focused on schoolwork. I was about to die and yet, that wasn’t enough for me to “wake up” and to put myself and my health first. I insisted to get discharged from the hospital the next day, so I could get back to work at school. Fortunately, the doctors felt that it was alright to let my body regenerate its own blood while staying on iron supplements. Hence, my wish to be discharged the following day, was granted.

I went straight back to work the following morning. My friends thought I was crazy. Now looking back, I probably was. I completely ignored my needs, for school. I pushed my health aside, for school. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Carrying that belief with me all throughout vet school was detrimental to my health, both emotionally and physially, but I didn’t realise what I was doing to myself at the time. I was so close to death, and yet I did not care. A very scary thought indeed. 

Here I am typing this, about 5 months after the incident. I am still on iron supplements, and have included more iron-based foods into my diet, such as beef, lamb and tofu. 

What I learned from this experience is how critical it is to love yourself enough to put your health first, before anything else. If I am unable to do that, how can I expect myself to save an animal? 

By the way, when I asked my friends at school how the “blood transfusion cat” was doing, they replied me with “Better than you! Didn’t end up coming in!”

[learningnewways]

Where, When, What and Why? - Part Two

So… Picking up from part one… I knew that God was asking me to give up my life here in Nelson, at least for now, and go overseas. But to where? And for how long?

I started doing some research on mission organisations around the globe and praying that God would guide me to the right place. I felt that I needed to go for long enough that I could really get my hands dirty and experience the culture, not just be a tourist missionary, but also not overcommit myself and burn out, particularly as I have no overseas missions training at all! I figured around 3 months would be a good aim, as both times I have previously lived overseas for 5 months, it’s the first 3 months that are the hardest and where I experienced all the feels! 

My flat-mate Carla and her brother Mike had been telling me all about this awesome couple called Paddy and T who were missionaries, and they suggested I get in contact with them. I was determined not to go with just the first option I heard about through a friend, so I dismissed their idea and started researching and Googling myself. I investigated Kenya, Uganda, Ghana, Israel and Poland, however nothing really felt quite right to me. I wasn’t sure what areas of ministry I wanted to help with and was hoping something would stick out. I wanted God to use me where He wanted me and I wanted to be open to whatever and wherever that was. Now that’s a scary thing to try and be open to! One organization did look pretty cool and it involved going to both Israel and Africa. That really stuck out to me because I have always wanted to go to Israel. It has been the number one place on my travel list for a very long time. I mean, as a Christian it would be incredible to go to the Holy Land and walk where Jesus walked! But it still didn’t seem quite right.

After a few weeks of researching and not really coming up with anything that felt right, I finally decided to look up Paddy and T, and find out who this couple were, what they did and where. I quickly discovered their website which talks about their mission and heart for rescuing, rehabilitating and redeeming those who have been sexually abused, exploited and trafficked. https://samaritanagambia.com/ Well... I couldn’t quite believe it! 

Flash back to Kimberly from 10 years ago, I was really passionate about educating people on sex trafficking and sexual abuse. I did speeches, projects, drama presentations… Any excuse to research and educate, I did it. My heart was so moved for people who suffer these types of abuses. I read books, I donated money, I raised awareness. But after a while, it felt like there wasn’t all that much this zealous teenager could do from little old New Zealand. Of course that is so incorrect, but that’s how I felt. So this interest of mine got put on the back burner and on with life I went.

Jump back to the present day and I was like, Oh my gosh! This is perfect! I have such a heart for this type of ministry! I felt deep in my core as I was reading through their website that they were genuine people who were doing incredible, much needed work on the ground. I knew within a few minutes of reading through their website, that this was the organisation for me. But then I realised they had these in a few places, namely The Gambia and Liberia. They help to set up and establish these ministries, then travel between them equipping and empowering locals and volunteers to run them.

I prayed about it and left it up to God to guide me to where I would be most needed, The Gambia or Liberia. As I researched more, I thought I should probably check out these countries and learn something about them. I had literally never heard of The Gambia prior to finding their website. I Googled some facts and found some photos and it really intrigued me. I thought it might be best to watch a few YouTube videos just to get a feel for the scenery and the people, so I jumped online and found some random travel vloggers' videos. Well… Within a few minutes of watching it, seeing the people and the land, I was in tears. My heart was racing so fast and once again, I just knew, this was where I needed to go.

I couldn’t quite explain why, but just that my heart was stirred and I knew I needed to go there. I didn’t know what I would be doing practically, but surprisingly, I didn’t seem to really care. I knew God was orchestrating this entire thing and I had a peace that He would use me where I was needed and that I didn’t need to worry about that. Once I reached out to Paddy and T to explain who I was and find out how I could get involved, I left it up to them to guide me as to which country I was needed in, and unsurprisingly, it was The Gambia. The whole experience was pretty unreal and I still find it hard to put into words how I “knew” God wanted me to go overseas and how I “knew” He wanted me to go to The Gambia… But it was so strong and so not of my own thoughts! Like I said, I’d never even heard of The Gambia! Overseas mission stuff was never on my radar, at all! If anything, I was probably actively against it! I had always felt called and had skills to work with youth and young adults within the church in New Zealand, helping them to build strong habits and become lifelong followers of Jesus. So why the heck am I being asked to leave that and go to the other side of the world?!

I still don’t really know why… And that’s all part of it! It’s all part of the trust exercise God is taking me through. Can I really trust that God has a plan for me? Can I really trust Him to get on that plane and go, when I don’t even know why He is sending me or for how long? So many questions and lots of deep wrestling! There were so many times I would break down crying while driving home from work, at youth group or church... Everything could be going fine and then I’d remember that God’s asked me to leave and I would get devastatingly sad and cry my heart out!

I think it would be much easier if I was only going for a few months and coming back, which is ironic because that’s exactly what I am doing… But I know that I also need to be open to God asking me to stay. That was the hardest part and still is. What if God asks me to stay in The Gambia or somewhere else more permanently… Indefinitely? Can I really leave my life, forever?! And is God even worth it? Do I truly believe that leaving everything and everyone I know and love for the unknown is best for me? Do I really believe what I say I believe? How far am I willing to go? What will I truly give up to God? My gosh, this was some haaaaard stuff to process. It still is hard stuff!

I know people might look at me and think I have it all figured out, that I’m so brave for stepping out into the unknown for Jesus, but let me tell you… I am hanging on for dear life with my eyes closed, freaking the heck out! I am absolutely terrified and scared. I’m trying to let go of my own desires and self-assurance and hold tightly to Jesus and the confidence I can have in Him. But I’m not so confident! What if God doesn’t come through? What if the whole trip is awful, unsafe even? What if God’s not even real? Literally, this is some heavy stuff I’m dealing with. I believe with everything within me that God is real, but actually actioning that is hard and it brings up a lot of doubts. I am praying that God will come through and meet me where I need Him the most. If you’re a praying person, please pray for me!

When my life was falling to pieces at the end of 2020 and I was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen when my marriage ended, I really struggled to trust that God had it sorted. That He had a good plan for my life, better than I could have imagined. I really struggled. What could possibly be better than my plans?! And why would God put me through all that mess if it wasn’t going to work out anyway? But in all of those struggles, I learnt how to really give my life over to God. I honestly think that if I hadn't had that experience, I wouldn’t be doing this now. I mean, obviously if I was still with my ex who was not a Christian, of course I wouldn’t be leaving for 6 months to do Christian mission work overseas alone! But on a much deeper level, I think if I had not journeyed, wrestled with and started processing all this stuff with God last year, and seen Him come through for me, there’s no way I would have been open, ready or willing to do this. 

I still don’t feel ready and probably never will. But I think that’s all part of it. If I had done lots of cross-cultural courses and was super skilled and knew where I was going and what I was doing, it would take away from the power that God has to work through me, Him getting all the glory. I am willing but He is able. I love how God uses all our experiences for His glory and it blows me away that He continues to choose to use me. ME! With all my crap!

Here’s a song I heard for the first time time today, but’s one that speak so directly to how I feel right now. It’s Unexpected Roads by Mosaic MSC. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XOS-xySMHMI

“Oh, isn't it amazing? Your imagination Your beautiful mind Oh, I never see You coming The future You're creating Always surprised And when I thought my biggest dreams impossible You have proved me wrong every time When I confess my deepest prayers within my soul You just pulled me close and

Oh, lead me down unexpected roads I don't know where I'm goin' I know I can rely on You I will stand here in the middle of the journey Ready for what's coming As long as I'm with You Oh, isn't it amazing? Nothing's ever wastеd In Your eyes Oh, it's a celеbration That You came to give me purpose You're my commander I bind myself to You I wanna be with You Can't do this without You You're my companion You are the life I choose I wanna be with You”

[thewayofthemandalorian]

who i’m meant to be - oneshot

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader Rating: M Word count: 3,500 Summary: Din Djarin - your husband - has pulled away suddenly, leaving you filled with worry and doubt in your relationship. When you finally confront him, he tells you what has been weighing on his mind. Notes: So this spoils a major part of the third episode of season 2, so carry on unless you have seen it. It’s beneath the cut, as always, so you can skip ahead without fear of accidentally reading it. Warnings: ANGST. Like so much angst. Implied/referenced sex, identity crisis. Spoilers for episode 2.03 “Chapter Eleven: The Heiress”.

Taglist: @dindjarindiaries @goldafterglow @frannyzooey @absurdthirst @catfishingmorales @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @hopelikethesun @forever-rogue @f0rever15elf @thewaythisis @marvel-and-mischief @seasonschange-butpeopledont @sin-djarin @ezrasarm @din-damn-djarin @opheliaelysia @pajamasecrets @mandohatesdroids @poenariuniverse @fioccodineveautunnale @fleetwoodmactshirts @auty-ren @profkenobi @storiesofthefandomlovers @ithinkwehitametaphor @yespolkadotkitty @cinewhore @wille-zarr @tangledlove27 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @cryptkeepersoul @hayley-the-comet @clydesducktape @jaime1110 @computeringturtle @lovinglokiforever @justanotherblonde23 @sesamepancakes @phoenixhalliwell @giselatropicana @buckysalefty @fromthedeskoftheraven @paintballkid711 @ghostwiththemostbitch @revolution-starter @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @lilkermit14 @luvzoria @none-of-your-bullshit @sithkrispies @xserenax-13 @princess-and-pedro @dee-rosemary @kid-from-new-zealand @chibi-liz05 @dearspacepirates​ @mandolover86​

masterlist || read on ao3 || taglist form

Din had been quiet since he returned from helping the other Mandalorians a week or so ago. More so than usual. Reserved, skittish.

It wasn’t anything you weren’t relatively used to. You had known Din for going on a year and a half now, and at the beginning, he had been shy, reserved. But not like this. Never like this. He was going through something, you knew that much.

Part of you wanted to let him come to you. You wanted him to know that you would help him through whatever it was that had him so rattled.

Was it the fact that he had a lead on the child and he was having second thoughts about bringing him?

Din had told you when he returned to you, the Child and the Frog people - who were gearing up for parenthood - that the Mandalorian known as Bo-Katan had told him of a Jedi by the name of Ahsoka Tano. It was the first concrete lead you had in well over three months.

The Razor Crest was in disarray, even after the man on Trask had “fixed” it. Even after you had returned to Tatooine to have Peli repair it properly, it was still not as it had been before.

That could be said about a lot of things.

You knew with complete certainty that you loved Din Djarin. You had since you first laid eyes on him. Well, maybe not that soon. But it wasn’t long after meeting him that you had first felt the tug of your heart, leading you to him. To his bed.

And in those early, unsure days, you knew with the same conviction that he loved you, too. How could he not, with the way that he touched you, the way he spoke to you, the way he did things for you?

But you were more sure in those early days that Din loved you than you were sure of it now.

It was hard to pinpoint what exactly had changed since he had returned from that Imperial ship with the other Mandalorians, but he was different with you. Different with the baby. And it was bothering you.

He didn’t love you anymore.

It was the only plausible explanation you could think of.

For well over a week, you had only seen his face in the scarcest of moments. He had pulled back any and all affection, not even allowing a keldabe kiss as he returned from missions. It was odd. In the beginning, you could only kiss him in the dark, when he showed you with his body just how much he cared for you, memorizing his face with your fingers and lips instead of your eyes. Unconventional but completely yours.

When you had agreed to marry him about three months after first joining him in his bunk, there was no grand revelation when he took his helmet off for the first time so that you could see. He was Din Djarin. You were his and he was yours. You hadn’t needed to see his face to love him - loving him was one of the easiest things you had ever done.

And for a while, well over a year, you thought it was one of the easiest things he had ever done, too.

Did he regret it? Marrying you? True, your riduurok had come quickly, but you had been so sure. Din had been so sure. He was the one that had asked you to marry him.

Din had always been so eager to rip the helmet off when he returned to the Crest following your marriage. So that you may shower his face in kisses and tend to any wounds he may have sustained. But recently, he only took his helmet off when he was in the ‘fresher, or after you had fallen asleep.

Tonight, though, you were going to stay awake long enough to speak to him. Not ambush. But gently ask him if something was wrong. Right now he was searching for co-ordinates to the planet where Ahsoka Tano was.

* * *

Usually Din was in charge of putting the child to bed, but the last week or so, it had become something you did by yourself.

“All right, bright eyes. Sleep well, my love,” you whispered as you eased the baby into his hammock above the cot you and Din shared. The baby blinked up at you sleepily, chirping quietly once or twice as if to say, “Where is father?”

You sighed. “I don’t know, sweetheart. He’s busy. But he’ll be here soon,” you said. The baby sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as you pulled a blanket up around him. You hated possibly lying to him. But Din always came to bed. Though he would never fully admit it, Din needed sleep. More than most, you would argue.

Busying yourself with menial end-of-day tasks, you thought over what you would say to Din when he finally came to bed. It was late. You were tired, you knew Din was probably exhausted. He was coming to bed later and later and getting up and leaving earlier and earlier with each passing day.

“Din, I was wondering, if you were okay,” you muttered to yourself as you picked up his spare cape, which you had had to hide from the child earlier that day. As much as you and Din loved that baby, he was busy. Frowning at the words you had chosen, you tried again, wanting to sound more supportive and less … intrusive, though you supposed you had every right as his wife to sound intrusive. It wasn’t intrusive if it was a genuine concern. “Din, I’m worried about you,” you said to yourself.

That was better. There was no easy way of broaching the subject. No one could casually walk up to their husband and say “I don’t think you love me anymore,” without repurcussions.

Placing Din’s spare cape at the end of the bed, you got ready for bed yourself. Din was up in the cockpit, trying to find any useful information on Corvus.

You thought back to right before you had picked up the Frog lady and her eggs - the eggs that were now her babies - Din had promised you, with an edge in his voice, that you and he were going to make great use of the bunk when you got back to the Crest after returning from Mos Pelgo. Your skin had tingled with the unspoken promise. But that promise hadn’t been fulfilled. Not even after you and Din had reunited your passenger with her husband.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you thought of how normal Din had been, even a week and a half ago compared to now.

Had he really changed his heart and his mind about you that quickly?

You yawned suddenly. It was rare for you to be awake this late. The baby’s snores filled the small compartment as you waited. Hopefully not too much longer.

Having just laid your head down on the pillow, you heard the bunk door open. Din would think you were asleep.

Checking that all the lights were off, Din gave one final look at the child to see that he was asleep. He reached out an ungloved hand and stroked his ear gently. The baby shifted slightly at the touch, but continued on sleeping.

Din never took long unclasping his armour. He had it down pat. Still, you missed being the one to remove it for him. Before Trask, you had always been the one to remove his armour at the end of the day. It was something you and he had both enjoyed.

As the hiss of the helmet coming off filled the room, mingling with the child’s even breathing, you knew that there was only a moment at most before he would climb in next to you.

“I know you’re awake, cyare.” See, he would continue to call you beautiful, his beloved. But there was no emotion in the words anymore, not like there had been.

Your eyes glazed over. “Yeah, I’m awake,” you said.

Din noticed the apprehension in your voice. He tampered down a sigh. He knew that you suspected something, he had seen the worried look in your eyes every day since leaving Trask. It was bothering him, too. He knew that you would look at him differently when you found out what he had about himself.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he slipped into bed.

You chuckled ruefully. “I could ask you that question,” you said. “I’ve been worried about you.”

Din didn’t bother to hide his sigh this time. “I-I know you have been, mesh’la.”

It wasn’t as though you had been hiding your worry. Maker above, it was like pulling teeth with this man sometimes.

Licking your lips, you continued. “You’ve been acting … differently,” you decided to say. “More quiet than usual. Reserved.”

Din didn’t say anything.

“And I was wondering…”

Before you could finish your sentence, Din interrupted you. “Everything’s fine.” His voice was terse.

“No it’s not, Din!” you shouted. “For the past week and a half, I’ve barely seen you. You don’t do anything except mope in that kriffing cockpit. You are hardly with me or the baby and you aren’t…” you trail off, not wanting to say the next words.

Din prompted you. “I’m not what?” he asked.

“You’re not affectionate with me anymore.” You heard Din sigh again. “Ever since Trask it’s like you’ve pulled away. You didn’t say anything about what happened on that Imperial ship with those other Mandalorians. Only that Moff Gideon was tracking the ship.”

Din knew he had to tell you. But he couldn’t. Not like this. Your words were like a punch to the gut. You were saying everything he knew he was guilty of doing.

Nothing could prepare him for your next words.

“Do you not love me anymore, Din? Is that what’s happened?”

How could you even say that, so much as think it?

Din snapped. “It’s late. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

You yanked yourself from his hold on you. It was not a tender hold he had on you, but one of necessity. The bunk was so cramped, he needed to hold you close. “No. We’re talking about this now.” Your voice was firm. Resolute.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said.

You scoffed, seeing right through him. “Right, there’s nothing to talk about, Mando.”

Din didn’t miss the way you had called him Mando instead of his actual name.

It made it easier for you. Calling him Din was too personal right now. If he was going to be impersonal, so were you.

You tried again after a moment of silence. “I just - I want to know what’s wrong, so I can help you. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, you don’t have to deal with it alone.”

Din was grateful for the dark so that you could not see the expression on his face as he spoke. “You can’t help me. No one can help me. I-I need you to leave.”

* * *

Din found you in the cockpit, your cheeks and eyes puffy and swollen with tears that were still streaming down your face. A sob racked through you.

He really didn’t love you anymore.

“Cyare,” he said, his voice filled with remorse and guilt.

You turned in the seat to look at him. “Don’t call me that, Mando. Not after what you just said.”

You had a point, Din conceded. He hated seeing you like this, because of him. But he hated the thought of how you would look at him when you found out his secret.

A cult. How had he not seen it before? Was he too indoctrinated? The covert had saved him as a child. He couldn’t have you around that lifestyle. You were to good to be involved in that.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was apologizing for.

You gulped a shuddering breath, trying to even your voice. “Why do you want me to leave? I thought we were happy! I thought - I thought that we were in l-love!” you sobbed, a fresh swell of tears brimming at the surface.

We were. We are, Din thought.

“We were happy mesh’la. We are in love,” he said, reaching his hand out to take yours.

You were confused. “Th-then why are-are you s-s-sending me away?” you sobbed, covering your face with your free hand. “I love you, Din. D-don’t make me go. Whatever it is, I can help you through this.”

A choked sound reached your ears. You realized that you were not the only one who was crying.

Din exhaled a shuddering breath as he tried and failed to keep himself from crying himself. “I love you, cyare,” he said, his voice thick. “Never doubt that for one fraction of a second that I don’t love you with every fibre of my being.” Relief poured through you at his reassurance.

He moved closer to you on his seat. “But when I tell you what I found out on Trask, you may not love me. And that frightens me more than anything.”

You hugged him then, refusing to let up as your tears dried. He loved you. You loved him. The only thing else that mattered was holding your husband in your arms, his occasional shuddering breaths the only sounds besides the low hum of the ship.

Trying to lighten the mood, you said, “We really need to get to Corellia one of these days so they can fix this ship properly.” Din let out a sound that was halfway between a sob and a laugh.

Pulling back slightly so that you could see his face, you stroked Din’s cheek, wiping away an errant tear. His dear face was filled with grief and insecurity. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have told you to leave.”

You kissed him for the first real time in over a week. It was lingering but soft. “Din, I’m not going to pretend to understand whatever it is has you so upset, but just know that you can tell me whatever it is has you so down. In your own time.”

Din nodded appreciatively. “You may not like it, cyare. But you deserve to know the truth.”

You stroked Din’s arm. “Whatever it is, you are my husband and I love you.”

“Thank the Maker for you, my love,” Din said shakily.

* * *

You and Din slept. Long and deep. Though Din had wanted to tell you what was weighing on him, you had insisted that you and he sleep it off and return to it the following day when you had both rested.

The sensation of Din’s fingers stroking your cheek roused you. As per usual in this small bunk, your limbs were tangled together.

Your eyes flitted open, taking in your husband. He had turned on a small light. The child was still sleeping. “Good morning,” you said sleepily, your eyes crusted with sleep and tears from the night before.

Din kissed you once. How you had missed the feeling of his lips against yours. “All right, cyar’ika. Let’s talk.”

You held his hand as he spoke. It was a long story, involving his childhood, the covert he had been raised in, and the Mandalorians he had seen on Trask. Most of it you had already known, having been told by Din shortly after meeting him.

“That woman - Bo-Katan - she told me that my covert … that the Death Watch…” Din paused.

You squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, Din. Take your time.”

He inhaled. “She told me that my sector was a religious sector - a cult, basically.”

Your eyes widened, but you said nothing, digesting what he had to say. If it was a lot for you to take in, you couldn’t even imagine how Din had reacted when he first found out. 

“So, my entire life has been a lie. I thought I was upholding the creed of the Mandalore, but really I’ve just been perpetuating zealous bullshit that goes against the true ways of the Mandalore.” Din exhaled, shame deeply embedded in both his face and his voice.

“Din, I - I don’t know what to say,” you said, your hand still in his.

You hadn’t reacted the way that Din expected you to, the way that he had reacted to it. You hadn’t recoiled away from him, wanting to run as far away from him as possible. Your face wasn’t one of horror or repulsion, but rather concern. Concern for the man that you loved.

“My whole life,” said Din, inhaling sharply. “Has been one kriffing lie. The worst part of it is, I recently learned that the Death Watch ordered the attack on my village as a child. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. “This is why - why you wanted me to leave. Why you were distant this past while, isn’t it?”

Din simply nodded. “I didn’t want you to be involved with the zealous danger that is involved in the Death Watch. I’m so sorry, my love,” he said quietly.

You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Din Djarin. You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me? You can’t be sorry for something you didn’t know. That doesn’t change how kind you are. How loving and caring you are. That doesn’t change the way I feel about you. You have done the best you can with the worst situation anyone could have been given. I know exactly who you are.”

Din met your gaze. “Who am I?” he asked, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

You smiled softly at him. “You’re Din Djarin. My husband. That sweet child’s father. You help people and you care for them. You have more compassion than everyone else I’ve met combined. That doesn’t make you a bad person, love of my life.”

A few tears slipped down Din’s cheeks as you spoke. You hugged him close. “I love you, Din Djarin. And, if you like, I will help you. Just as you’ve helped me. It doesn’t matter to me where you come from. What matters to me is that you are a good person. My person.” You stroked his sleep-tousled hair as he pressed a sloppy kiss to your neck. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m here.”

Din felt much more at ease than he had been for the past week as you held each other close. After setting the still-sleeping child in his (soundproof) pram gently, Din finally fulfilled that promise that he had made in Mos Pelgo of making good use of the bunk, slow and tender, showing you how much he loved and appreciated you with his body, he felt the uncertainty of who he truly was fully ebb away. You were right, of course.

Though he still had a lot to figure out, to work through, learn and unlearn, he knew that he wouldn’t have to figure it out alone. That you would help him through whatever it was he decided to do.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

ALL HAIL TO THE KING: CHAPTER 4

Prompt: A kingdom ruled by a despicable man, a debt and a woman who’s willing to do anything in order to save her father’s life...If a week ago someone told Eda Smith that this moment would be the crucial point of her life she would never have believed, but now that it has arrived, what should she do?

Word Count: Long-ish

Pairings: King!Baron Corbin x OFC Eda Smith

Warnings: Heartbreak

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @nerdypanda20 , @ava-valerie , @bellalutionn , @starwithaheart , @serpantscorpio8497 , @new-zealand-chic , @aerynscrichton , @ihavenowilltolivelol , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @letsgivethisonemoreshot , @sassymox , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif

Notes: If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😘

2 Months Later

Eda’s POV

“He said what?" She gasped loudly

“Shh, Margaret, he will hear us!” I warned her

“I’m so sorry, Eda. But this is marvelous! I have never seen King Corbin like this” She smiled widely “Please tell me once more, what did my lord say?”

“He said ‘I think I am falling for you’...But maybe I heard it wrong, Margaret”

“I doubt that, dear Eda. Ever since the feast, I always catch King Corbin’s eyes on you. He thinks nobody is watching and he lets his brutish façade drop, which allows the emotions to flow through his eyes” She sighed “When did he say that?”

“Two months ago. If he truly had feelings for me, he would have said something by now” I said as I chopped some carrots to help with dinner “I must have misheard it, I’m sure that was not what he meant”

“That is where you are wrong, sweet Eda. The King is prideful, I have known him ever since he was a little boy” She giggles “King Corbin is a good man, deep down. He just selects very carefully to whom he shows that side of him, but after a while, you will learn to read him like a book. And when you do, you will be able to understand his feelings as bright as day, my darling”

One part of me knew that she might be telling the truth, after all. We have been married for almost three months and the King hasn’t shown any desire to consummate the union, he has been nothing but respectful towards me. He was even kind, when no one was around. And if I’m being honest, I’m starting to develop feelings towards Baron as well, maybe I was also falling for him. The mere thought of it, made my heart jump in excitement.

*Yes, I am in love with you, King Corbin* I thought to myself and smiled fondly

“My Queen” One of the guards called me from the kitchen door, pulling me away from my thoughts

“Yes?”

“The King requests your presence in your royal chamber immediately, my lady”

“Thank you. I’ll be right behind you” I stood up and followed the guard to the bedroom

I knocked twice before entering the room

“Did you request my presence, my lord?”

“Yes” He said coldly

I closed the door behind me

“What can I help you with, my King?”

“I want the divorce, Eda” He said sharply “Here are the papers” He gestured towards the pile of documents “Sign them, take your belongings and leave”

“What? My lord, I don’t understand-“ I asked, confused

“I WANT YOU OUT!” He screamed “GET OUT OF MY CASTLE, GET OUT OF MY LIFE, I DON’T EVEN WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR FACE ANYMORE!”

I began to cry uncontrollably “My lord, w-why are you doing this to me? Why are you being so harsh? So cruel? What have I done?”

“Get out” He murmured “Take the dresses, the jewels, everything! Sell them, throw them out in the trash, burn them. I do not care! Just please leave” He stood by my side and said “I’m going to take Phillip on a walk and I do not want you here when I return”

He grabbed the doorknob and I asked, crying

“May I at least know what I have done?”

“Don’t worry about your father’s debts, you fulfilled your part of the contract. It is I who cannot do this anymore” He sighed and left the bedroom

Not even once looking back…

.............................................................................

King’s POV

I knew what I had done was a mistake as soon as I returned to the castle. The air felt thicker, sadder, with no life at all. I always heard her no matter where I was in the castle. I originally thought the first days of her around were comparable to a hell like no other! ‘Does she never hush?’ was all I could think at the time, but after a while it became somewhat comforting to always hear her around the castle, talking to someone. But now, the heavy silence felt strange, unwelcoming, frightening even.

*Maybe she didn’t leave after all* I thought to myself, when I saw that her belongings were still in the bedroom. I ran downstairs to the kitchen, where she spent most of her time with Margaret. But when the only vision I had when I entered the kitchen was of Margaret sobbing uncontrollably, I knew for a fact that Eda was gone.

“She left you this” Margaret handed me a letter, which I grabbed and whispered a ‘thank you’ before returning to my chamber

And when I read her letter, I knew I had just committed the biggest mistake of my entire foolish life

Dear King Corbin

I could call you Baron, but I don’t think it would be respectful, since you are not my husband anymore. Even though you decided to be as unthoughtful as someone can be and not only ruin my life with a request for a divorce (since I now won’t be able to find a proper husband...we both know nobody wants to marry a divorced woman) but also casting me out of your castle like a dying animal with no proper reason for it, I surprisingly, can’t hate you. As much as I would like to, I cannot.

For some reason I grew fond of you, began to develop feelings for you, dare I say even began to love you. Love you: Baron, not ‘King Corbin’.

Once, Margaret told me you were “someone hard to love as hard as not to love”, I remember at the time such a phrase made no sense to me at all, but I’m afraid it does now. Baron Corbin is an easy man to love but he makes it so difficult to continue to love him when he becomes King Corbin: an evil, mean and heartless man...so different from the Baron I used to talk to every night before bed.

A part of me would like to believe that it was the mean King Corbin that casted me out, not the Baron that I love. But at the same time I wonder: How can one exist without the other?

The answer is: they can’t! So maybe there is a kinder side to King Corbin we still don’t know of. Well...at least that’s what I’m hoping for, since today I saw an evil side of my Baron that I thought he could never have.

The clothes and the jewels are yours, they always were! I don’t need those in order to live a full life. The only thing I pray to God for is that your next Queen will be able to either kill the viciousness that comes from King Corbin or that her love for you will be strong enough for you to understand that there’s more to you: Baron, than the illusion of power King Corbin brings.

I hope you find someone who can love you as much as I do...I just hope she can show it to you before it’s too late, because God knows I tried my hardest.

I wish you only the best.

Eda Smith

“What the hell did I just do?” Was all I could whisper, before the tears took over….

[shookethbrooketh]

phil’s q&a: a summary!

i know it’s quite long so the major points are bolded! 

tony is now in a massive tank phil bought with automatic feed because he refused to let him die while he was gone 

someone wants phil to make amazingphil vases

he came out now because he thought his story would help other people :( 

he’s been to EIGHT vidcons and his first was his favorite because he felt cared for and got to meet his idols i love him 

phil talked about how he stans safiya 

one of phil’s favorite videos to make was the tour of his brain and another was his coming out video, which was what he was the proudest of

he was worried about posting his coming out video but he got such a positive reaction from both us and other people that he’s really happy he did :’(

phil’s advising that rather than trying to copy other creators and focusing on views and numbers you should focus on what you want to make and the impact you can make on even one person

phil says that he doesn’t worry about people missing his channel because he trusts that we know that he’s always working on something even if he’s not putting out constant uploads

phil is working on a ~mystery project~ and he has written part of a script for something that he’s wanting to get made and has pitched to people..... hmm 

they asked how much he keeps up with the phandom and everyone started worriedly mumbling sjfksdfsk 

he said he wants to let us have our space because he knows we don’t want him looking over our shoulders and won’t see/check anything if we don’t @ him in it, although he does check his @’s and appreciates the phandom’s art greatly 

his favorite meme is anything involving a dog

“i would love to get a dog” he’s not quite ready for the responsibility of a dog yet, but he wants to get one in the future and is considering graduating from tony to a slightly larger animal if tony is alive when he gets back 

he literally told his concierge that he’s leaving tony and he should save tony in an emergency i love him so much 

phil got his socks out for the lads.......they were waffles 

awkward storytime: phil was on a train and sat beside a woman and she started rubbing phil’s leg and it turned out she had her eyes closed and thoughts he was her boyfriend who had gone to the bathroom...... press f for phil 

phil’s midway through stranger things season 3 

phil’s advice for writer’s/creative block: it happens sometimes, and it really depends on the person, but for him it helps to talk to someone, go out for a walk, or take a break. 

phil wasn’t really scared of performing at ii because he knew everyone watching him already loved him and it just felt warm and fuzzy and he never wanted it to end :( 

phil never had a “burnout” moment where he wanted to quit youtube, but he did want to disappear from the internet once when he was in a car insurance ad and people recognized him from the annoying commercial rather than youtube and he was afraid of fame (this was pre-dan)

someone on twitter said they loved him and he said “love you too” :(

phil’s advice on social anxiety: everyone else has their own anxieties and thoughts rather than focusing on you and your insecurities. “your brain is lying to you” and not everyone is staring at you. you should also push your comfort zone at times because maybe it’ll be easier than you think! 

he is against the storming of area 51 and doesn’t want to get shot. he does, however, love the alien in the doorway meme

someone asked if the gaming channel was going to come back, and phil said they took a “hiatus” because dan didn’t want to to any youtube until he came out. he also said they just wanted to take a break and think about what to do next, which is something they haven’t done yet. they also have realized that we enjoy the bants more than the games, so they may bring it back as a gaming channel or as something completely different. they just want to try different things and move forward however they see fit, and they haven’t quite figured that out yet. so (my interpretation) it’s going to be a little while still, but they do have all the plans in the world to bring back the channel, even if it doesn’t come back as “gaming”. 

there is apparently a tiny pig at vidcon and it is adorable--go on grace helbig’s instagram for a pic 

phil’s advice to teenagers: don’t stress out about really small things that are in your head at any particular time. think of whether it’ll matter in a month or a year, and if it won’t try to realize that it’ll only matter for a little while longer and move on. 

phil’s youtube “guilty pleasure” is cooking videos despite the fact that he cannot cook (another guilty pleasure is cat videos) 

phil’s favorite piece of merch is the candle 

favorite tour memories: new zealand in general and the tour bus; they’re also gonna hopefully meet up with their tour crew 1 year after the show awh 

phil loved going to vegas and manila, and he still wishes they got to go to mexico 

phil watches jenna marbles 

phil’s advice for mental health and social media: consume the content that makes you happy and not the content that doesn’t! you don’t want to wake up and look at things that hurt your mental health; create your social media so that it’s as positive of a space as possible 

if he could only have one social media other than youtube, he would have twitter so he could interact with us :( he generally sees the twitter phandom as a positive place within his @ replies 

on the plane, before they took off, the pilot came on and said they were having an issue. in this pilot’s 20 years of flying, he’d never had this problem before. someone’s toiletries had just been yeeted onto the wing of this massive two story plane. they were delayed for TWO HOURS while they got a CRANE to get the bag off of the wing. others were panicking because they didn’t know what was in the bag, but dnp just seemed to find it funny. 

phil’s proudest of their two tours, especially ii :( 

according to phil, they’re not planning another tour right now, but “never say never.” he doesn’t want to jump into another tour, but he says that they may do another one when it feels right. 

phil currently has $42 in his wallet. thank you alana and anush.

phil would be happy to collab with safiya, jenna, and anthony 

he said he hasn’t filmed a video without uploading it except for a long, boring personality test 

phil was asked what we’d be called if we weren’t the phandom and he just said he liked the phandom skdfljsdkf 

phil’s senior quote: there is never too much candy. 

phil’s advice on rejection (especially related to collabs): don’t take it to heart; people might not realize how important it is to you! rejection will lead to a better success. 

phil submitted a pitch for a “show” he wanted to make last year and got rejected excuse me what?? 

he thanked everyone for coming to the q&a rather than the other exciting stuff at vidcon :( 

[valkyriesryde]

Masterlist

Last updated: 27 April 2021

Requests: OPEN but at a slow rate (one shots, head canons, or drabbles, please specify in the request if you want a specific one

Crossed out = coming soon

Check out my other fandom stuff: 

To Be A Hero - Bakugou x OC!Female

Drabble Masterlist - Updated 12 June 2020

Headcanons Masterlist - Updated 15 September 2020

Fortune Teller Masterlist 

Bucky Barnes

I’m Going to Spin You: Bucky teaches the reader how to dance in preparation for Tony and Pepper’s wedding.

Proud: Y/N needs to interview someone for a history assignment and who better to go to than Bucky. Mentor!Bucky/Teenage!Reader AU

Beautiful Soul: The team decides to let loose after a rough few months with some singing and some alcohol, what could possibly happen ;)

The Unspoken Deal: When Bucky holds your hand in public, he rubs his thumb against your skin to ground himself when he’s anxious.

Blast From the Past: The gates are open and the memories are back. And maybe it means someday you’ll get normalcy back. 

Sergeant Boinky: Bucky’s got a new interest and Sam and Y/N are taking full advantage of it.

Classy Girls: They met in a bar. Inspire by the song Classy Girls by the Lumineers

You’re Being Dramatic: Bucky sees something he doesn’t like and his mind goes haywire without even finding out the full story. If you want a happy ending to this angst piece this is it. 

Garbage vs Little Shit: The neighbour’s cat is a little shit. The neighbour? Eh...

Abort Mission: It’s Bucky’s turn to catch you reading fanfiction 👀 (companion to Seargeant Boinky but can be read separately) NSFW

Two Nerds in a Blanket: In desperate need for a date to your work's Christmas party you, reluctantly, seek the help of one Bucky Barnes. 

Adore You: Bucky is always asking you for favours, how can you say no to those eyes and that smile? 

Prince Charming: Who’s your favourite Disney princess? Who do you want to be your prince charming? 

Together: You’ve got some news but are too scared to tell Bucky but he’ll find out one way or another 

The Trail We Blaze: Bucky takes a trip down memory lane through his old home and no one is quite sure how he’s taking it.

The Dynamic Between Us: You need a ride and god forbid you have to call Bucky in your time of need. That damned man and his stupid ways of being in your life. 

Multiple Parts:

Fourth of July - Part Two: The Fourth of July is hard for some People but you try and make it a little bit easier with some not so simple editing. COMPLETE 2/2

Place Your Bets: Money is on the line and the months are counting down so who will win the bet to when Bucky and Y/N finally get together? And will they figure out what’s exactly going on? COMPLETE 9/9

Friend or Foe: A dead body comes up on the Avenger’s radar that threatens to leak some unpleasant moments and people from Bucky’s time as the Winter Soldier to his friends that he thought he’d never face again. ON HIATUS INDEFINITELY

Exhibition of Future Technologies: Bucky meets the girl of his dreams the day before he ships out again and she holds a mystery about her that he can’t resist. COMPLETE 4/4

Tough Guy: Bucky swears he’s over it. Y/N swears she’s fine. A cliche when their worlds collide together after all this time. But wounds run deep.  COMPLETE 9/9

Calm - Guardian Angel: She’s there, whenever he needs her she’s there in his ear telling him what he needs to know. Greek Myth AU COMPLETE  2/2

The Lone Kiwi: a series of drabbles that cover the first year of research analyst Samantha Thompson’s career with the Avengers after being recruited by Tony Stark. The New Zealander is thrown into the deep end of American culture and spy life as she packs up and moves halfway around the world. ON HAITUS INDEFINITELY

Steve Rogers

Lady Liberty: A look through the times between Captain America and his Lady Liberty. 1944 - 2017

Reality is Cruel: Y/N’s grip on reality is taken away from her when she’s kidnapped while on a mission. While the team tries to find her she watches her biggest fear happen before her eyes over and over again.

We’re Married: A fluffy modern AU really.

Light and Fluffy: Missions can be tough and so it takes the right attitude to be able to deal with them day after day. You and Steve seem to have different attitudes though.

Our House, Our Rules: Drunk and happy even if the new guy has Y/N nervous but that won’t stop her winning the tournament… 

No More Waiting: Steve has waited long enough and after Thanos, he refuses to wait any longer for the life he wants. A continuation from this drabble. 

I Trust You: Steve doesn’t trust many people. Lest of all you. At least that’s the message you’ve gotten, it might not be the message he’s trying to give you. NSFW

A Question: On the drive home from a mission a serious conversation comes up between the two of you, you should try bowling.

Shut Up: Exams at the SHIELD academy are coming up and with that members of the Avengers have come to observe the next potential heroes. Some are more promising than others. 

Last Call:When Steve finds himself in a dive bar in the middle of no where with nothing left to do but wallow he’s saved by a glass of whisky.

Multiple parts:

Shut Up - Part Two; Vigilante: Exams at the SHIELD academy are coming up and with that members of the Avengers have come to observe the next potential heroes. Some are more promising than others. COMPLETE

Release the Hounds: Hades can’t step foot in the mortal realm, she never strays far from home and isn’t welcome in Olympus. Steve believes the queen should have a place beside her brothers, to rule with them instead of in the shadows, invisible to the eye. Not many share his opinion though and the consequences of that may be worse than the god of spring could have imagined. COMPLETE 15/15 NEW

Sam Wilson

Honey-pie: Sam will do anything to make you his, he’s tired of the back and forth and the fact you’re always taken. He just wants you to be his girl.

Bit of a Weirdo: You’re a bit of a weirdo, always saying wack shit when no one else is around to hear it, except Sam.

Multiple Parts:

Hella Feelings: Sam x OC + Bucky x OC There are always oddballs in apartment buildings, the old lady who always smells like cheeseballs, the guy you’re pretty sure is a drug dealer. Then there’s the two girls who should have ‘chaotic clowns’ written on their foreheads from the amount of laughter that comes from their open windows. There’s also the two guys a couple floors down that have had the police called on them not once but twice for yelling at each other over a video game. Maybe together the four of them can make one normal human being...or then again...maybe just a dumber clown? COMPLETE 11/11

Peter Parker

Evil Spider: Based on the song Evil Spider by Benee. Peter follows the girl who caught his eye home, just to make sure she gets there safe. 

Something Familiar: You find yourself dangling over a cylinder of acid after exploring an 'abandoned' warehouse. Spider-Man comes to your rescue in all his glory but you find something oddly familiar about him.. 

Clint Barton

KleptoCat: Clint likes to take your stuff but this time he swears it wasn’t him. 

Five to One: The five times your life was a rom-com and the one time you got a happy ending.

Broken Bones and Bruised Hearts: Clint remembers you protecting him, always there for him. You live in his dreams always.

Loki

He Consumes Me: Thor said that Loki is gone, for good. She was beginning to finally accept that. No longer would he consume her thoughts or control her mind. No longer would he trick her. 

[theworldofotps]

The Way You Love Me

Pairing: Damian Priest x Reader Word Count: 1,202 Description: When Damian isn’t feeling the best, the reader reminds him of some of her favorite moments.

Warning: Very brief smut implied, mentions of mental health

A huge shout out to @omg-im-such-a-masochist for her help on figuring this out. I had the main inspiration for this fic and two ideas but didn’t know how to decide between them. She took the ideas, made them better and is letting me use it which I truly appreciate. I tweaked things around a bit and love how it turned out thank you so much baby! This one’s for you💕 _________ Tag list:

@omg-im-such-a-masochist @hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @new-zealand-chic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @youcantreignonmyparade @melblacc @letsgivethisonemoreshot @alination @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________

“Babe?”

You call out, closing the front door behind you and kicking your shoes off. The house was completely silent, she knew Damian was home. Adam told you he had asked to leave early while you were in the middle of a practice match.

Setting your keys on the hook and making your way through the house checking every room then heads upstairs when you have no luck. Gently pushing the door to the master bedroom open, you spot a lump in the middle of their bed wrapped in the blankets.

“Damian? Are you okay?”

Walking over and sitting on your side of the bed you untuck some of the blankets and pull them back. The sight of Damian laying there with his eyes shut, tear tracks staining his cheeks broke your heart.

“Hey hey it’s me, why are you crying?”

You whisper gently stroking his cheek waiting for him to open his eyes.

“Oh hello princesa, it’s nothing, don't worry about it. How was the rest of your practice?”

“It was fine. It must be something if it’s got you this upset. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Turning his face into your hand as it stroked his face Damian swallows the lump in his throat then looks at you.

“Why are you with me?”

“What?”

“Why are you with me? There are so many better looking more athletic people out there for you to be with. Someone who can give you all that you deserve in this life, which is so much more than what I can.”

“Where’s this coming from?”

Sighing Damian pulls the blankets back so you could crawl under them with him. Wrapping your arms around him and kissing his forehead you wait.

“At work today I was hanging out with some of the guys and they were going on about things they had gotten their partners for Valentine’s Day. I told them we had a simple picnic together after breakfast in bed and how I gave you that new photo album you’ve had your eye on.

They kinda teased me and said I needed to do better before someone else swooped in. I know it was just harmless banter but it really got me thinking what if it happened? And then I said for your promise ring I gave you my class ring, they thought it was silly and that you deserved an actual ring. My confidence has been a bit shaken lately, my mental health is taking a nose dive but today just proved those thoughts.

I’m not good enough for you y/n. I can’t give you all that you deserve and I know that’s true. It just keep replaying over and over in my head.”

Damian swallows, blinking back more tears and closing his eyes for a moment.

“Te mereces mucho mejor que yo.” (You deserve so much better than me.)

“Oh baby no no.”

Quickly shaking your head you cup his face wiping the tears away and waiting for him to look at you.

“Now you listen to me, my love, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about what we get or do for each other. I wanted that album for our photos and that’s what you got me. I love that you listen and pay attention to the small things. You always manage to get me what I want and I always feel so loved”

Kissing his lips gently you smile holding your hand out looking at his class ring.

“The fact you’re using something so special and that you worked hard for as a promise ring. Means more to me then any other ring, there’s sentimental value behind it. I wish you would have told me you’d been feeling this way lately.  I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone but you Damian. Baby I’m forever yours. 

Nobody has ever treated me like you have and it’s not just about the gifts. It’s the memories, fun and support we give each other. What we have is incredible I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love the way you love me, How can I help cheer you up besides remind you that I love you with my entire being?”

Searching your face he gently kisses your hand hugging you

“What’s one of your favorite moments in our relationship?”

“Ohh there’s so many.”

Laying there looking in his eyes you think lightly tapping his chin with your finger.

“Oh! I know, do you remember when your Chronicle streamed for the first time?”

“Yeah that was a nerve wracking but exciting time.”

“Do you remember how we celebrated?”

“A lot of that week was a blur.”

Smiling you snuggle closer to him kissing his shoulder.

“Well let me remind you, we got to the arena and when it aired we watched with a bunch of our friends. Then afterwards everyone decided to watch another one since they didn’t want to go home just yet. You and I then went outside just to get some fresh air since you were feeling a lot of emotions. We wanted a little privacy so we managed to get up to the roof of the building. The moon was out and right after we got up there.”

“It started pouring and we made love in the rain.”

Damian says his face lighting up as you grin at him gently poking his nose.

“Exactly, that was the first time I ever did anything crazy like that. And I enjoyed every moment of it. That is when I really knew you were the one for me, someone I wanted to try crazy stuff with all the time.”

Damian smiles letting out a soft laugh as he holds you close.

“That was a lot of fun now that I remember, we should do it again sometime.”

“We’ll see baby, just don’t forget I love you and I am the luckiest person alive to have you.”

“I love you too mi amor.”

Kissing you softly Damian allows you to go ahead and change into comfier clothes while he rubs his face.

“Sorry about crying.”

“Hey, do not apologize for having emotions and sharing them with me. It's one hundred percent okay. There’s nothing wrong with need a good cry, there’s nothing wrong with feeling your emotions or letting them out. It’s completely fine I promise.”

Blowing him a kiss you take your dirty clothes into the bathroom and place them in the hamper. Going back into the room you glance out the window and walk over opening it. The sound of rain falling causes an idea to form in your head.

Taking your bra off you throw it at Damian’s face as he stares at the ceiling.

“Let’s go down memory lane again, shall we?”

You smirk as he looks at your bra chuckling then watches you strip your night shirt off. Swaying your hips as you go over to the bed.

“Mmm mi amor I would enjoy nothing more.”

Leaning over he wraps his arm around your waist pulling you onto him. Straddling his waist you look down at Damian with a smile.

“I’m going to spend all night reminding you of how much I love you.”

[n-ctarinenga]

Heartlines [ calum hood ]

w.a.h series | pt.2 | word count: 3,802 | masterlist

You wish you could say the separation got easier with time, but sadly, that was a lie. 

Months had passed since the last time you saw the man you love in person, and the heartache of being apart without knowing when it would end didn't ease until the day you woke up and saw the words that made you burst into tears before they'd even fully registered. 

The world was healing. Be it at a slow pace, it was still getting better by the day in it's own little ways. 

You favoured the day fast food opened again the most, sitting with your siblings in a McDonald's drive through for two hours listening to New Order and Brockhampton before finally getting a big mac you'd been craving ever since lock down began. 

But once things started opening up again, Calum found his ways to surprise you nearly instantly. First it was a bunch of flowers, then a new fluffy blanket, then something that didn't come from a store. 

Calum had always known you were a hopeless romantic, and decided to play on it in a way he knew would make you melt.

Nearly a week after your text to him and his video to you, you received a piece of snail mail covered in Australian stamps, your heart racing as the scrawl on the front of the envelope was instantly recognisable to you. 

Upon reading the letter inside, your entire body glowed with happiness and your face was soaked with tears, after all, you'd never received a love letter before. 

Once the first letter was sent, you wasted no time making your own and sending it back to him, including polaroids you knew he didn't have, and spraying the paper with your signature perfume for added effect. 

Calum was shy to admit it, but he did cry when he opened his letter and it smelt just like you. 

This continued on back and forth for weeks, until the day more than just a letter could travel between you. 

As normal, you sat with your family watching the press conference with the prime minister and director general of health in the late afternoon, as you'd become familiar with anytime there was an announcement due. 

There were rumours of a travel bubble opening up between New Zealand and Australia, but not wanting to get your hopes up, you didn't feed these rumors too much thought.

But still, you sat beside your sister with a hopeful and anxious feeling stirring in your stomach as you watched today's announcement. 

The moment the rumours were confirmed, you let out a whimper as tears clouded your vision. 

"One week from today, starting at midnight, domestic flights will resume between Australia and New Zealand." 

You waited until the end of the broadcast, excusing yourself to your room to call Calum, knowing he'd been watching the same thing being said by his own prime minister. 

What you didn't see was the look of relief on your families faces. Not only for the fact life was now closer to being normal than ever, but it was the first time they had seen you cry happy tears in the midst of what you confined in your brother, one of the hardest mental states you've ever been in. Their lives were all on hold, sure, but their lives are here, and you had made a life for yourself in a completely different country, and while you would always love your home, you had another one now that you wanted to be wrapped up in again. 

The joy they saw in you wasn't just because you were closer to seeing Calum again, it was because you were closer to your life again. Your job, your home, the friends you considered just as important as your blood family, they were all finally at your fingertips again. 

You didn't care about the fact your messy top knot was falling apart, or that the tears were still pouring down your face, all you wanted was to see him.

Shutting your door behind you, you pull up a facetime request for Calum, him answering seconds later like he was about to call you himself. 

"Baby." The pet name falls out of your mouth as you see tears clouding his eyes, his once short bleached out hair now echoing the blonde tips of his past as his natural curls come back with a vengeance. 

"Hey darlin." He says, his voice thick with emotion. 

He covered his face with one hand as he could feel his tears start to fall, an overwhelming sense of relief flooding him as he saw your bright smile and tears of joy. 

Calum had sat in shocked silence as he watched the news, not snapping back to reality until he felt his mother pulling him into a hug once the announcement sunk in, the words he heard making his knees feel weak. 

"Don't cry, my love. I'm coming home as soon as possible, okay?" You reassure him, wiping your own tears away with the sleeve of the hoodie Calum could swear used to be his. 

"I hope you know once I get you again I'm never letting go." He says quietly, your heart swelling with his words. 

Little did you know, the engagement ring he had finally asked his mother for sat just out of frame, more meaning in his words than you realised. 

"Who said I'd ever want to leave?" 

Calum just shook his head with a laugh, and from there, you both got to planning. 

As much as you loved your family, you had also been around each other every day for months, and while Calum was more keen on the time he finally got to spend with his family again after touring the world since he was a teenager, you'd had a solid twenty years with your family before you left home. With that in mind, it was decided that you would be flying to Australia, your visa allowing you to stay for a month before you would have to come back to New Zealand. 

Planning out your next steps together, you made a full two month plan, and hoped that after those two months, you'd both be flying home to LA, together. 

With one more week spent giving as much of your time as possible to your family, you finally packed your things up again, hopped in the car with your siblings, and headed to Auckland airport. 

Instead of coming to the airport, you and your parents decided to share your tearful goodbye with each other at home. 

After checking in, handing over your bags, and hugging both of your siblings til they told you that you were the most embarrassing one in the family, you finally boarded the flight to Sydney. 

Little did you know, your boyfriend was already watching the clock to see when he could acceptably start waiting at the airport. 

While you watched Avengers Endgame on your laptop to pass the time, Calum was pacing around the living room of his family home, Mali laying on the couch behind him with a pillow over her head so she didn't have to watch her brother burn a hole in the floor. 

"You already know she's gonna say yes." She says, lifting the pillow for a moment before putting it down again.

"You don't know that for sure." He mutters lowly, checking his watch again and seeing your estimated arrival time was still two hours away. 

Calum walked upstairs to his room, looking into his mirror for what felt like the millionth time today as he checked his hair and outfit for the day. 

With hairdressers opening up again a couple weeks ago, Calum had strongly thought about clipping off all his hair before you saw him again, but knowing how much you loved his grown out curls, he instead decided to get it trimmed and styled yesterday, hiding it under a beanie while facetiming you the night before. 

He once again readjusted his leather jacket, a Elvis shirt underneath with simple black pants and some converse to complete the look. While he had thought about pulling a suit out from the few he'd brought with him, he knew there was a high chance you'd tackle him, deciding comfort was a better idea instead. 

Between leaving for the airport with his family and actually arriving, Calum had tapped the inside pocket of his leather jacket more than thirty times. 

The small velvet ring box in his pocket was at the front of his mind as he sat beside Mali in the back of the car, his mum in the front passengers seat, and his dad driving them closer and closer to the most important question Calum has ever asked in his life. 

His whole family was excited to see you, and it wasn't only because they were about to welcome you into their family, but because in their eyes, you were already part of it.

Whenever Calum would be able to come home throughout the last three years, he would always hear the question "is y/n coming with you?" whenever he let his family know about his plans. It wasn't a secret that they had a soft spot for you, which meant that not only were they excited for you to be here for Calum, they were excited to see you themselves. 

After parking and walking through the airport Calum was more than familiar with, he couldn't help but notice how clammy his hands were, or the way his leg would bounce anxiously when he finally sat down in the waiting lounge outside your arrival gate. 

He was nervous. Excited, but nervous. 

You were feeling a lot of the same as you sat in the window seat seeing Sydney slowly coming into view. 

You'd spent the last twenty minutes of the flight doing some incredibly simple makeup, certain it would probably get kissed off, or cried off your face if you added too much. You only added a slight bit of green eyeshadow to match the green t-shirt you wore over a striped long-sleeved shirt, your black jeans and sneakers finishing off the look you stressed over for a solid two hours before you left for the airport. 

Feeling your heart race as you approached the airport, you tried to take a deep breath as your emotions threatened to get the better of you, but you refused to cry before you'd even seen him. 

Stepping onto Australian land, you felt an entirely different wave of excitement hit you. You weren't the kind of person who liked to stay in one place for too long a time, and spending so long back at home with your family made you feel that urge to travel again more than usual. 

You could barely contain yourself as you walked through the airport, collecting your bags quicker than expected and making your way through the area before your gate exit. 

Stopping for a moment in the hall, you take one last deep breath, nothing able to prepare you for the wave of emotions you were sure to feel. 

Calum checked his pocket one last time as he saw people starting to come from your gate, standing with his family in toe as he tried his best to see you through the crowds of people. 

The second you walk around the corner, you see him, standing there with a mix of emotions obvious on his gorgeous face you had missed so, so much. 

You cover your mouth with your hand as a sob erupts from your throat, and you walk faster towards him, a death grip on your trolley that you let go of as he finally spots you, and you see him let out a breath it looks like he's been holding for months the second his eyes land on you. 

Your trolley is lost behind you as you break out into a run, him doing the same and meeting you halfway where you crash into his arms with so much force it nearly sends both of you crashing to the floor. 

Nothing in your life had ever come close to feeling as good as having Calum's arms wrapped around you so tightly that he had lifted your feet off the ground, your legs automatically wrapping around him as you try to hold him as close as physically possible. 

Both your bodies shook as you cried, tears of joy, relief, and pure happiness all coming at once as Calum finally sets you on your feet. 

Barely pulling away, he pushes your hair away from your face, inspecting you like he was seeing you for the first time all over again. You did the same, taking in his features that no pictures or screens could ever do justice. 

With shaky hands, you grin as you carefully and gently dry his tears, taking your opportunity to rake your hands through his curls, feeling like it had been a lifetime since you'd gotten a chance to and savouring the sensation of finally having him in front of you.

Taking your face in both of his hands, he pulls your face to his, kissing you with more passion and emotion than you had ever experienced before. It felt like the usual fireworks you felt when Calum kissed you had been replaced with straight TNT, your heart beating out of your chest so hard you were convinced he could hear it. 

When you both finally pull away because of your need for breath, Calum holds you close still, peppering kisses all over your face and making you laugh so hard you feel a fresh wave of tears pour down your cheeks. 

Making you yelp in surprise, Calum picks you up again, turning and walking towards the exit a few steps. 

"Okay we can go now." He jokes, and with him turning around, you can finally see Mali and Mr. and Mrs. Hood standing a couple feet away. 

Gasping in surprise, you signal to Calum to let you down, which he hesitantly does, only to see you crash into Mali with open arms tightly wrapping around her. 

"I've missed you guys so much!!" You say, your voice thick with another wave of emotion as you bear hug Mali. 

"We've missed you too, chickie." Joy smiles, opening her arms for her own hug which you happily deliver with a kiss hello to her cheek. 

You give Malcom a hug before Mali pulls you back to her for another, making you laugh as the smiles on the family you loved so much made you feel so much better than you had been the last few weeks. 

"I'm so happy we finally have our third to outnumber the boys." Mali says, wiping a fake tear from her eye as you notice she's pulled your luggage trolly to sit beside your small group, a camera you recognised as hers sitting on top facing you all. 

"Don't worry, we haven't gotten as bad as she makes us out to be." Malcom says with a laugh as he wraps his arm around Joy's shoulders. 

"I have a feeling she's gonna be on her own team." She says, a knowing smile on her face as she looks past you to where you could sense Calum behind you. 

Turning around to follow her gaze, you feel all the air in your lungs leave your body. 

Standing in front of you, Calum's breath came in anxious bursts as he looked at you with pure adoration, a small red velvet box in one hand as he reached out to take yours, doing everything he could to remember the words he rehearsed in his head more times than he could remember. 

"Y/n," he starts shakily, "since the first day I met you by total accident, you have intrigued, confused, and amazed me over and over again. From the second we first threw around the idea of being together, you didn't ever question the miles between us we knew we would have to face, the press that would take hours, or the days I would spend locked away in my studio. Instead, you decided to love me for who I am, a lovesick idiot who eats your secret oreos and adores you more than I could ever express with words. These last few months without you have been the most challenging and unwanted thing I've ever gone through, and it's driven home the fact that if I could, I would never leave your side again."

Calum takes a deep breath, forcing down the tears that so desperately wanted to escape as he watched your tears pouring down your face, a look of shock staying with you as he spoke. 

"You're the funniest, smartest, most creative, and most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I don't know who I'd be today without you. Nothing could prepare me for the happiness you'd bring into my life by just waking me up by shifting closer to me in the middle of the night, holding my hand when the world gets too loud, or ignoring me to defeat Alduin for the millionth time." You can't help but to laugh at his words, using your sleeve to wipe away your tears as you try to stay as silent as possible. 

But your hand flies to your mouth to smother a sob as Calum gets down on one knee in front of you, looking up at you with glassy eyes as he finishes his speech.

"I adore you, I admire you, and y/n, I love you with my whole heart. I'm the luckiest man in the universe to have you, and I would take an arrow to the knee for you any day of my life. I've loved you since our first date, and if I can only be sure about one thing in this world, it's that I'm going to love you for the rest of my life, a life that I want to spend the rest of with you." 

Opening the ring box in front of him, your eyes land on the most perfect ring you've ever seen in your life. A thin band engraved with flowers held a small diamond in its circle shaped setting, the white and silver complimenting the simple style and elegance of the ring that you knew had seen a love before yours. 

"Y/n, will you marry me?" 

You finally let out the sobs you had been trying to hold in, nodding your head furiously as you pulled Calum up from the floor. 

"Yes. In every lifetime, yes." You cry, pulling his face to yours and kissing him as hard as you could, the saltiness of your tears mixing with his as you heard the people around you burst into applause. 

You hadn't even taken notice of the crowd that had formed around you once they had seen Calum get down on one knee, but they were all captured in the background of the footage Mali had been recording the whole time for you to see later. 

Calum pulled back just long enough to slide the ring he was still holding onto your shaking hand, his own not much steadier as the adrenaline and relief hit him at full force. 

"I told you so!" Mali laughs happily, coming over and wrapping her arms around the two of your, excitement and love buzzing through your small group. 

Joy and Malcom join Mali in wrapping the two of you up in hugs, and when you finally do pull away from each other, the wet patch on his chest from your tears matches the one on your shoulder from his. 

Your tears lighten, but don't disappear as your hand sits perfectly in Calum's while you all walk out to the car, you and Malcom loading your baggage into the back before you climb into the car, sandwiched between Calum and Mali, both of them holding your hands as you drive home.

Your new fiancé wastes no time wrapping you up in hugs and kisses the second the door of his bedroom closes, your bags sitting beside it after you dropped them there once you and Calum had excused yourselves. 

Before you made your way upstairs, Joy had let you know that her and Malcom would be taking you all out to dinner that night to celebrate, but that was pushed to the back of your mind as you peppered kisses along Calum's jaw. 

You weren't sure if everyone had made a consciousness effort to give you two some time alone, but with Malcom heading back into work to collect some things, Joy going to visit a friend for coffee, and Mali meeting up with some friends at a recording studio for a couple hours, you and Calum were left alone. 

Knowing this, Calum pulls your face back up to his, pressing a heated kiss to your lips as he lifts you up to lay you down on the bed, climbing on top of you and letting his hands drift under your shirt. 

Pulling back for a moment, Calum hovers above you, looking down at you like you're the most precious thing he's ever had the honour to witness. And as you looked up to him, hands each side of his face, you could swear he was the most beautiful person the universe had created. 

"I've missed you-" you kiss him "-so much." 

You're met with a gorgeous smile as he tightly wraps his arms around you where your shirt was now riding up, flipping you over so you now rested on top of him, legs tangled together and pure bliss coursing through you. 

"I've missed you too, way too fucking much." He breaths, perfectly content for the first time in months. 

"Your family already know by the way." He adds with a sly smile, and you push yourself up so you can look at him. 

"That I'm engaged to the most amazing man on earth?" You question with a raised eyebrow. 

He just grins, nodding as you rest your head against his neck. 

"I video called your parents yesterday, told them my plan. I asked if I could marry you months ago though." 

Your eyes go wide at his casual tone, like he hasn't just told you one of the sweetest things on earth. 

"Everyone knew but me." You deadpan. 

"Mhm. Sorry love." He apologises, kissing the top of your head. 

"Don't be sorry, I wouldn't have changed anything about it." 

You reach up to kiss his jaw once more, snuggling even closer to him and letting out a soft sigh, peace finally settling in you as you laid in his arms again, him squeezing you as close as he possibly could. 

"Told you I'm not letting you go again." 

Taglist: @spicycal @calmlftv @irwinkitten  @mrandleer @candidcal  @lukeskisses  @wallflowercal  @brooklynsninenine ​ @whereveryouares @everyscarisahealingplace​

[babycapell]

new york’s very own baby capell was spotted on broadway street , with a striking semblance to courtney eaton ! you may know them as @capellbabyy or hitting the front page of tmz as natasha fox, suspected con-artist infamously identified as baby, unanimously declared innocent on charges faced in california . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being heartless , but also ambitious . things that would paint a better picture of you would be a cluster of designer shopping bags, tan limbs tangled in silk sheets, a heart shaped sucker dangling between glossed lips. ( cisfemale + she/her  ) +  (  saxon , twenty-six , she/her , cst )

Out Of Character

Guess who’s back again? Honestly I don't know how this is going to go because this is a very new character and quite different from anything I’ve played but I’m incredibly excited to bring her to life! As always, we stay very open to connection ideas and plotting so please do not hesitate to hit me up because me and my child are here for the chaos and drama! <3

Basic Information

Full Name: Natasha Wren Campbell-Fox. Baby Capell.

Nickname(s): Nat. Baby.

Birthday: January 6th.

Orientation: Pansexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, French, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish.

Background

TW: cancer.

At just eighteen years old, Lucia Campbell left New Zealand and moved to England in hopes of pursuing a career in ballet only to unexpectedly end up pregnant just months later, putting a pause on both her dreams and her future. 

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her at the time of conception, the child’s father was a married member of the British Royal family - albeit fifteenth in line for the throne, the fact that he had stepped out on his wife and had a bastard child was scandal that could not be afforded.

Although the man tried repeatedly to coerce Lucia into getting an abortion, assuring it was what was best for both of them, Natasha Wren Campbell arrived in the world Jaunary sixth, nineteen-ninety six. 

In order to keep the situation under wraps, her father stopped by once a month to ‘check in’. For Natasha and her mother, these events felt less like visits with family and more like important interviews where their every move was under harsh scrutiny, the check he gave them at the end of his visit enough to make sure they were able to get by, money that assured that his secrets were kept safe. 

Every memory Natasha held of the woman who raised her was a beautiful one, a woman she considered so good and ethereal that it almost made sense that she didn’t get to stay in their world for too long.

When Natasha was just fourteen, her mother began experiencing fatigue and pain too serious to brush off, diagnosed within a week with stage four pancreatic cancer, the illness seemed to arise out of nowhere and progressed rapidly, leaving her unable to work and therefore unable to provide for them. 

Natasha waited desperately for her father’s next visit, asking for help with growing bills and the hopes of finding a better doctor but he refused, deeming such beyond his concern and leaving them with the same check he had in every visit prior. 

With no way to make money to care for her herself or her mother, Natasha turned to the only thing she could think of, thievery. What started as sneaking into restaurants and fancy events in order to steal food soon became grabbing expensive items left sitting on tables, selling them for cash that would keep the lights or the heat on even a month longer. 

Still, within eight months, her mother was gone and Natasha was alone - without a job or a place to go. 

The teenager adapted the only way she knew how, using the same tricks that she had before but this time in order to get into hotels. She used her father’s name and position in order to get their attention and if asked, used the pet name her mother had used for her when asked in order to avoid being caught, Baby. 

Soon, she realized that showing fearlessness and confidence could get her almost anything - whatever hotel she could manage soon became the most lavish she could find and just having a bed to lay in at night became enjoying the high class service and catering offered to her.

One night, while enjoying dinner in the hotel restaurant, she was approached by an arrogant teenage boy who was clearly eager to flaunt the wealth his parents held. Rage flooded her but instead of lashing out, her mind pulled her on a different route. She played into his every word until he was obsessed with her and then she used it, doe eyes and sweet voice pleading for what his money had to offer her for three whole months. His interest - or rather his family’s interest in finance and technology was his ultimate downfall, giving her every bit of information she needed to drain his bank account and disappear.

Natasha quickly became aware of just what kind of power she held and she planned on using it, starting with the man whom she deemed, in some way, responsible for the loss of her mother. 

The teenager arrived on her father’s doorstep and played every bit of the confused and mortified girl finding out that her father had a whole life that she and her mother had been unaware of. It was while his wife asked her to wait upstairs as they fought in the living room that she found his study, making quick work of getting every ounce of information she could in order to ruin him financially later. 

Unexpectedly, however, she found an account that was depositing the same amount that he had been paying out to her and her mother monthly. She followed the lead in hopes to meet her possible half-sibling and found a true family instead. A half-sister, Tali Fox (who reminded her greatly of her own mother) and her mother who all too happily took her in and adopted her as if she had always belonged.

Still, the world of lavish living and conning men whom she felt deserved it had piqued her interest in a way she couldn’t explain and she wasn’t ready to give up. She became a chameleon of sorts; spending nights going out to special venues, catching the eye of a rich male and playing the role of their dream girl - she’d use them for months, allowed them to shower her in precious gifts until she grew bored, draining their accounts and disappearing from their lives.

Six months ago she was arrested in California on multiple charges of larceny, fraud and forgery and had been awaiting a trial that finally began at the end of August and concluded just last week with a unanimous verdict of innocence, due to both a lack of evidence and witnesses. (aka; this little b*tch is good at what she does, no evidence and most dudes won’t even come out to say anything against her because they’re either still in love and/or don’t want to admit they got played by this angel face)

Now that she is out, she has arrived in New York to spend some quality time with her sister and perhaps, lay low for a while. 

Personality

Look, there’s no way to sugarcoat it, this girl is the sugar baby supreme okay? She wants your attention and your love and your money and that’s it. She doesn't feel nothing for you anyway, but she feels even less if you don’t adore her, dammit. 

She’s not a bad person, she’s really not - she pry donates all her clothes to the women’s shelter once she’s worn them even once and donates more than half of the money she steals to charity but like...she’s just very very angry and hurt and thinks all rich men deserve to suffer for being the type of man her father was which like - are you going to tell her she’s wrong? And she’s in too deep now, she just can’t stop. 

A true personality unknown though, tbh? She basically has been playing chameleon for so long, she doesn’t know who she is or how to be? Just adjusts to make you happy. Literally the fakest. 

Also she’s totally pansexual but like...way too focused on scamming men because they’re dumb and shit so like, definitely pry fucks around with females/nonbinaries from time to time but always finds herself going back to the hustle.

Desired Connections

A childhood friend who knew Natasha before the loss of her mother who hasn’t seen her since before that happened?

A childhood friend who’s known Natasha the whole time and maybe worries about her and her mental health?

The child of someone she conned? Honestly give me someone who’s dad Natasha hustled and they either hate her for it or just seriously respect her because they didn’t like him anyway? Or maybe even a sibling or an ex that she conned? 

For males? Past scams? Current scams? Future scams? Let this bitch play you, please. We can decide details as to how long or how serious it got, they could hate her or be secretly still obsessed/in love with her or both at once? Literally anything, okay! If you want someone to fuck up your guy in the past or future - this is your girl!

For females or nonbinaries? Give me someone who was maybe genuinely interested in her? Someone who wanted/tried to have a relationship and she was just like nah and it fucked them up a little bit maybe? Honestly maybe even a female/nonbinary she conned because even though she usually doesn’t, she thought they were an ass and deserved it?  

Someone who perhaps she actually started falling for a little, realized she wasn’t actually scamming them, that she was just chilling and she was like excuse??? And left without even scamming them? Or did just to prove to herself that she didn’t actually care about them? Kslflaks;sa I don’t know, she’s messy as hell, y’all.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 31

Warning: Profanity

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​,  @ocfairygodmother​

Two days later he finds himself on a chartered plane to The Kimberley; paying handsomely and out of pocket for the privacy and security that a flight of that nature could...and would...provide him with. Contacting an old buddy from his SASR days that had started his own travel company flying people throughout the northern territory of Australia; mostly tourists wanting to spend their time roaming  the remotest of places. Thrill seekers who wanted to try their hand at cliff diving or getting up close and personal with the prolific wildlife;   exploring the waterfalls and the gorges and getting a taste of life in the outback. When Tyler had called and offered triple what one day of flights would bring in plus a bonus for fuel and for a vow silence, his buddy had jumped at the chance. Clearing his schedule for twenty-five hours and offering at be at Tyler’s beck and call, promising not to ask any questions or expect any answers or explanations. He was on a need to know basis, and he simply didn’t need to know.

He rents a vehicle in Broome under a fake name; paying cash and giving extra when he fails to provide any identification verifying who  he is.  He barely speaks; simple yes or no answers, never giving too much or too little. Keeping his sunglasses over his eyes and his ball cap on his head; beard trimmed close to his face; hair tightly cropped to the scalp. ��He wants to keep things on the down low just in case he is on someone’s radar. The less people who know his business, the better. Fewer bread crumbs left scattered about means he has a better chance of keeping things off the grid. If someone IS watching him and his family, it’s of dire importance to keep things quiet. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Don’t arouse suspicion. And most importantly, don’t put an even bigger target on your back.

He sits in the car rental parking lot; behind the wheel of a Range Rover that’s used to the roads and can handle the rugged and sometimes unforgiving terrain, checking his text messages and emails. The mystery of who Salena actually is continues to deepen; there’s no record of anyone with that name -first or last- having ever attended college of university anywhere in Australia within the past twenty years. Nothing found through the department of transport; no record of a driver’s license issued through them, no vehicle ownership, no tickets or other driving infractions. It’s going to take long than Tyler had anticipated or hoped; his contacts needing time to hack into government databases. Years on the job have left him a wealth of ‘friends’; people who respect and trust him ,who he in turn can rely on to not ask too many questions and he knows won’t turn him away when he shows up out of the blue asking for help.

There had been  no luck on the Jeep; other than learning that the plates had been stolen three days before from a grocery store parking lot in Victoria. How they’d ended up on a vehicle in Cooktown presents an even bigger question. He’d wanted to avoid confronting Salena himself; hoping he’d get the answers he wanted -and needed-without resorting to calling her out. He plans to give it three more days. If he hears nothing by the end of the week, he will go over to the house and demand she tell him what the fuck is going on. No one puts his family in jeopardy. Perceived or not. And if he doesn’t hear what he wants, she will find out the hard way just how savage he can actually be.

He calls home. One of the ‘rules’ they’d adopted years ago -and stuck to - when they’d first gotten married was to always call when you reach your destination; so the other knows that you’ve arrived safe and sound.  The other is that you never leave the house without saying ‘I love you’. Life is too short, and if Dhaka had taught them anything.  it was how quickly and drastically things could go wrong;  your entire existence dramatically -and permanently- altered.  And although he hadn’t seen the Jeep or the driver in the past forty eight hours, the lack of leads and solid information have left a bitter taste in his mouth, along with the even more speculation and suspicion. Things are NOT what they seem. He’s one hundred percent sure of that. It isn’t paranoia or hypervigilance or a case of him being an overprotective husband and father; it’s fact. The neighbour and the Jeep driver both sounding the alarm and kicking his instincts into high gear.

He hasn’t said a word. Not wanting to spook her or the kids. For now he simply plays his cards close to his chest. Keeping an eye on everyone and everything; coming up with a game plan for every possible scenario.

“But when will you be home?” Tanner asks, sounding dangerously close to tears. He’d expected Millie or TJ to be the emotional and sensitive ones; they’ve always taken his absences a lot of harder than their brother. Tanner had always been the strong and stoic one; the emotional and moral support for his siblings. But since Tyler’s return from New Zealand, the dynamic between them has changed. Their relationship tighter and stronger than ever.

“I’ll be there when you get home from school tomorrow,” Tyler assures him, his own lump of emotion sitting squarely and solidly in his throat. It’s so fucking hard. Leaving them. Even when it’s just an overnight trip.

“You promise?”

“I promise. I just have a couple of things to do. An old friend to see. Then I’m coming right home.”

“”You’ll be here when we get off the bus?”

“I will. And I tell you, I’ll pick you guys up. We’ll go out and do something before going home. Just the three of us. Okay?”

“Okay daddy,” Tanner swallows noisily.

“You tell Millie and TJ what I said.  That I’ll meet you guys at school. And you help out your mum, yeah? You do whatever she saw and whatever she asks. No giving her a hard time. Promise?”

“I promise. You promise, too? That you’ll be there to pick us up?”

“I promise, mate. I’ll be there.”

“I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too. And I’ll see you tomorrow. Let me talk to mommy.”

“Okay,” Tanner sniffles noisily, and there’s a slight rustling as the phone is passed from one person to the other, followed by Esme giving gentle yet firm orders about starting -and finishing- homework before anyone is allowed time on the beach.

“You got there okay?” She speaks to him now, voice quiet and tired.

“Safe and sound. It’ll take a couple of hours to get there. I don’t know how good the reception is going to be when I get there. It used to be shit when I lived there.”

“That must have been so disappointing for you and your harem of women,” she teases. “Hard to sext with unreliable reception.”

“You’re a smart ass, you know that?”

“So you tell me.”

“If the signal is decent later, I’ll sext you later.”

“Yeah?” she laughs. “I think I’d rather it happen over the phone. So I can hear your voice. I’d much rather hear you say disgustingly dirty things than type them. You’re a master of naughty talk. And in that voice, ” she sighs happily, then turns serious. “You sound tired.”

“I am. It wasn’t a good night last night.”

Another nightmare; a new one this time. Of masked and heavily armed men breaking into the house and binding him to a chair and  forcing him to watch as they raped and murdered his wife. Then shooting him -non fatally- before taking off with the kids. He can still hear their voices; his children...his flesh and blood...screaming in terror and pleading with him to help them. He’d woken up with a choked sob; bolting into a sitting position, body covered head to toe in sweat, tears streaming down his face and his heart pounding and his chest aching. Somehow he’d managed to not wake Esme up, and for an hour he’d laid beside her watching her sleep. Marvelling in the way the moonlight bathed her skin in an ethereal glow and how her lips were curved into the smallest and softest of smiles; the ends of her eyelashes brushing against the top of her cheeks and her body rising and falling with each slow, steady breath.

And when she’d mentioned at breakfast how restless he’d been through the night, he’d lied and placed the blame on his shoulder and knee. She didn’t need to hear that; the horrific and grotesque details of some fucked up night terror. In the same way he’d never tell her about Gaspar’s real offer and the things Asif had planned for her.

“You’re okay now?” she asks. “Is it any better?”

He wants to tell her that physically he feels pretty damn good; nothing more than a dull ache in the shoulder and a stiff knee. Mentally he’s struggling. The cravings for the Oxy have diminished, but the ones for booze are powerful and nearly all consuming. It’s the stress of not knowing what’s happening; the worry of the unknown. Just exactly who is the new next door neighbor? Who was it that had been watching him and the kids? Is his family going to be safe while he’s gone? Ovi and Kyle are there; and while it gives him some piece of mind, they don’t stand a chance against the type of people that Tyler has faced.

“It’s better,” he replies. “Knee’s a bit stiff but that’s nothing new. I’m always going to hobble like I’m eighty. I’m used to it now.”

“Well for what it’s worth, I think your hobble is kind of cute,” she says.

“I’d like to tell you that that makes me feel better, but when you use the word cute…”

“You ARE cute though. In a lot of ways. And you can’t convince me otherwise. You call me cute.”

“Because you ARE cute. You were especially cute this morning when you were looking up at me while waking me up by sucking my…”

“Okay,” she interrupts with a giggle. “We do not need a play by play of this morning. Because it will only get me all hot and bothered and now is not a good time to be hot and bothered. Behave yourself, okay? Don’t get into any trouble.”

“I promise I will not get into any drunken bar brawls.”

“I’d like you stay sober, please. I know how much Koen likes his beer and he’s going to want a drinking buddy and he hasn’t seen you in a long time and...”

“I know how to say no. I’m forty years old. I won’t give in to peer pressure.”

“I just worry about you. I know you’re in a bad place right now and being away from home might make the urges stronger and…”

“ I’m not going to lose you. Or my kids. I’ve got this. It’s not going to beat me.”

“You’re a strong man, Tyler Rake. Regardless of what you think.”

He smiles. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too. Come home quick, play? We miss you. I miss you.”

“That soon?” He grins. “That’s gotta be a record.”

“Well I’ve gotten used to you being around. I know I sometimes bitch and moan about you…”

“Sometimes?”

“...but I still like having you here.”

“Yeah? Well I like being there. You make it pretty easy to stick around.”

“Even with all my bitching and moaning?”

“Even then.”  

“Drive safe,  okay? And don’t tell me not to worry about you because that will never happen. If you can get a signal, call me later. Just so I know how you are. I kind of like hearing your voice  before I go to sleep.”

“I will,” Tyler promises. “I’ll be home tomorrow. My flight gets in at noon.”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“Esme, you don’t…”

“I’ll pick you up,” she insists. “Don’t give me a hard time about this. Just me do something nice for you, alright?”

He smiles. “Alright.”

“We’ll talk soon. I love you, Tyler.”

He’s always loved the way his name has sounded coming out of her mouth. Whether it’s sweet and loving like just now,  or soft and sleepy when he wakes her up after she’s falling asleep against him on the couch. Or   when she’s in the midst of a round of hysterical giggles when he’s tickling her mercilessly or when it’s interspersed with moans and sighs during more intimate moments or she’s screaming it loud enough to wake the dead.

“I love you, Esme,” he says in return. “So much. I’ll see you when I see you.”

She gives a small laugh. “You haven’t said that in a long time. That used to be our ‘thing’. Whenever you’d leave for a job, you never left without saying that. I’ve missed it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that she disconnects the call. And for several minutes he sits there in that dusty parking lot, tears stinging his eyes as he stares down at the phone clutched tightly in his hand.

****

The road is ragged and rough, but there’s a familiarity to it that Tyler has missed. The way the SUV rocks and slides; the crunch and pop of stone and dirt under the tires and the patter of pebbles against metal and the windshield. The plume of dust that is kicked up behind him.  It’s been years since he’s been out this way; returning once shortly after he’d finished his stint in rehab after Dhaka. His counsellor convincing him that it would be beneficial to his progress if he visited one last time; the act of saying goodbye to that part of his past giving him a sense of closure, and making it easier for him to get on with the present AND the future. But he’d felt nothing upon his return; he’d never formed any kind of bond with the place, using it primarily as just somewhere to eat and lay his head. And drink himself into oblivion nearly every night.

His mind is much clearer now. It’s been years since he’d last taken Oxy, and six months since even a drop of booze. He feels a little more nostalgic;  the mountain range and the sparse treeline coming into view, spying the rusted old gate that’s still standing after all these years.

He immediately thinks of that afternoon seven years ago when he’d returned home to find a helicopter sitting in his front yard and Nik waiting for him on the porch. He’d been irritated at first; all he’d wanted was to be alone and to wallow in his own self pity and maybe even drink and drug himself to death. Then he’d realized that Nik was likely bringing what he needed the most: an escape. That she had something big for him; a job he couldn’t -and wouldn’t- refuse.  And he remembers standing in the kitchen as she sent into a spiel about one drug dealer snatching another drug dealer’s kid and how he was being held in Dhaka. The front door had been open and he’d let his mind wander as she spoke and that’s when he saw her: a tiny brunette with an impossibly tight and toned body in jean shorts, tank top, and flip flops, climbing out of the helicopter.  Chatting and laughing over her shoulder with Yaz as she headed towards the shack. Pausing on the porch as Maggie -his old and faithful canine companion- happily greeted the newcomer; immediately flopping over onto her back and demanding stomach rubs.

He’d stood there watching; barely hearing a word Nik said as he noted all the tattoos and the piercings in her nose and and just below her bottom lip. The way one strap of the tank top kept slipping off her shoulder.  Knowing that his life was about to change, but never imagining just how much.

Koen is standing on the front porch when Tyler steps out of the SUV; an Australian cattle dog with a yellow bandana tied around its neck sitting patiently as his friend’s side, tail wagging in excitement. Koen’s one of his oldest -and dearest- friends; serving together throughout their years in the SASR. Walking through hell together in war zones like Kabul and Kandahar; dodging bullets and escaping death and shedding blood, sweat, and tears. He’s a decade older than Tyler; grittier, weathered. Several inches shorter; stocky and wide, his youthful and more muscular days behind him. But he’s rough; tough as nails and fearless. And even now Tyler would still trust him to have his back in even the most dire and dangerous of situations.

“Jesus...Christ…”  Koen grumbles as Tyler approaches, and then ruffles the scruff of the dog’s neck. “...Sadie, get the shotgun. We’ve got a sketchy bastard in our midst.”

“Is Sadie your right palm or your left?” Tyler inquires.

“Always were a smart ass little prick. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“Nope. But I kiss yours.”

Koen smirks, and in two strides he’s off the porch and embracing Tyler warmly; a tight, affectionate huge that comes with years of surviving the worst together. “Holy shit…” he drawls, and gives Tyler’s hair a tussle and then holds him out at arms length. “...you’re a big bastard now, ain’t ya.”

“Two thirty, two thirty five. Maybe a bit heavier.”

Koen squeezes Tyler’s shoulders, then his biceps. “Like a fucking brick wall. What the hell she been feeding ya?”

“Lots of good shit. She treats me right. I can’t complain.”

“Can’t believe she’s still putting up with the likes of you. I gave her the chance, you know. When you were all laid up in that hospital with a tube in your dick. Told her if she wanted a real man, I was ready, willing, and able.  She wouldn’t take me up on it, though. Already attached to you for some fucking reason. How you keeping? Things are good? You look good.”

“I feel good. What’s this?” He slaps the back of his hand against Koen’s stomach. “When ya due?”

“I oughta slap that shit eating grin clear off your face. And I would if I hadn’t missed your sorry face. Good to you, mate. Damn good to see you.” Koen embraces him once again. “Wasn’t sure you’d make it. Didn’t look too good for a while.”

“That was almost seven years ago,” Tyler points out.,

“Been that fucking long?” Koen gives a long, low whistle and shakes his head. “Sometimes feels like it was just yesterday. Getting that call. How she ever tracked me down while you were in a coma, I’ll never know.”

“A nurse gave her my phone. She just went through my contacts, picked a name, and hoped for the best.”

“You’re a fucking lucky bastard, you know. Having a girl like that. Any lady that will stick by your side like that...do the things she did...well that’s a lady worth keeping. You’ve been treating her right, I hope. Because I’m not above calling her and finding out. Or kicking your ass if she’s got bad tales to tell.”

“We’ve been through some shit,” Tyler admits. “But she’s still hanging in there. For some reason or another.”

“Needs her goddamn head read, if you ask me. Why should she be stuck with that,” he nods at Tyler. “When she could have this?”

Tyler just chuckles, and Koen slings an arm around him and leads the way inside.

****

The shack is more habitable now; the living area, bedroom, and kitchen are still open concept, but a wall now separates them from the bathroom. There’s insulation and sheetrock; no rickety wooden planks with gaps and holes that used to let in the rain and dirt when the wind storms picked up. It’s plain yet bright; light beige pint, a wood floor glazed over with a natural stain, hand constructed butcher block counter tops in the kitchen and a toilet, sink, and tub in sparkling condition. The roof is still tin though, and Tyler can vividly recall the sound of rain hammering against it; lonesome and depressing on the darkest and emptier of nights.

Koen gestures for him to take a seat at the kitchen table -the same one that had been there when Tyler had given him the place nearly seven years ago- and he takes a seat in one of the weathered and wobbly chairs. Watching as his old friend moves to the cupboard above the sink and takes out two glasses and a half empty bottle of whisky. Tyler  doesn’t say anything at first; silent as Koen pours the amber coloured liquor into the glasses and then places one in front of him before taking a seat across the table.

He considers it; just ONE drink. Something to take the edge of. His fingertips against the cold, smooth surface of the glass; smelling it, tasting it on his lips and his tongue. The craving gnaws at his belly and preys on his mind; telling him he needs it. Deserves it. And the rim of the glass is pressed against his lips when the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window catches the white gold of his wedding band. The glint capturing his attention; a proverbial kick in the ass for even considering what he was about to do. And he sets the glass down on the table without taking a single sip.

Koen frowns. “Something wrong?”

“I don’t do this anymore,” Tyler says.  “Drink. I haven’t for six months.”

He expects some kind of trash talking, or at least a laugh and incredulous shake of the head. But Koen just gives a nod of understanding and then stands up, carrying the glass to the sink and dumping the whisky down the drain.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say something?” He asks, then grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and then sets it down in front of Tyler before returning to his seat. “Sober, huh?”

“Half a year now.”

“Must have been hard.”

“Still is,” Tyler admits. “But I made a promise.  To stay clean. To my wife and my kids. And that’s a promise I intend to keep.”

Koen grins. “Good man. About time you cleaned yourself up. You were on a pretty dangerous path there. Didn’t like the way you were headed. But you’re a stubborn bastard and you wouldn’t listen to a damn thing I had to say. Go figure it took a pretty girl to get through to you. She’s good?”

“She’s  good,” he confirms. “Very good.”

“And the kids?”

“Getting big. Every day I look at them and I notice things changing about them. And they’re smart. Crazy smart. Especially Millie. So much like her mom.”

“Well thank God she got the brains from her momma because if she got the looks and the smarts from you, I’d pity the poor child. And the new one? How’s she doing?”

“Growing like a weed. Still tiny as hell though. Looks just like Esme.”

He reaches into the side pocket of his cargo short and takes out his phone; bringing up the photo gallery and then passing the cell to his friend.

“Now ain’t she a teeny thing,” Koen smiles, as he scrolls through the pictures. “How does something that small come from the likes of you? And Jesus, look at the twins. Spitting image of you. Especially this little bloke…” he holds the screen out towards Tyler, showing him a picture of Tanner taken just minutes after  he’d gotten Tyler’s old hair cut; the one he’d been sporting when he’d met Esme. “...which one is he?”

“That’s Tanner. The youngest of the two.”

“Fucking looks just like you. Especially with that hair. That’s how I remember you looking. With that hair. Now you got a mini me wandering around out there. Hope all the parents lock their daughters up. Especially if he’s anything like you. You’re very fortunate, you know. Never thought I’d see you like this...a husband...a father...but I’m glad I did. If anyone deserved to get their shit together and deserved to have a second chance at life, it was you. And this…” he holds the phone out once again; a candid photo of Esme on the beach. A close up that Tyler had taken after he’d tried to teach her how to surf; her hair wet and dangling down the sides of her face,  freckles of sand on her forehead and cheeks, a slight sunburn on the bridge of her nose, eyes sparkling as she smiled.  

“You lucky fucker,” Koen scoffs. “You better keep on the straight and arrow, ‘cause I reckon there’s a lot of blokes that wouldn’t mind taking your place beside the likes of her.”

“She’s definitely a keeper,” Tyler agrees. “I’m not letting her go anytime soon.”

“Or ever,” his friend says, and he nods. “I was surprised when you called and said you were taking a trip out here.  Didn’t expect to you see until next weekend when I gave up the place up for a couple of days. What’s going on? Everything okay?”

“I’ve got something I want to run by you. An idea. A business proposition. I thought it was best if I didn’t wait until next week. And that we should talk about it face to face.”

“Sounds pretty serious. You okay?”

“I’ve got some shit going on.” Tyler admits.

“The PTSD still?”

He nods.

“That shit is a fucking nightmare,” Koen mutters, and takes a long swallow of whisky. “So what’s this about? This idea? This business thing?”

“I’m getting back into the game.”

“The mercenary gig? Why the fuck would you want to do that? Didn’t learn your lesson the first time you took a bullet to the throat?”

“This won’t be like the last time. This is different. I’m different.”

“You’re fucking crazy is what you are. Wanting to get back into that shit. You’ve got a family now. Think that’s the best life for them? For a wife and kids? Especially five little ones. Why would you want to put them through that? Going away and leaving them to wonder if daddy’s ever coming home?”

“Leave my kids out of this. It has nothing to do with them.”

“It has everything to do with them,” Koen growls. “I can see why you’d want to do this if you were alone and had nothing to lose. But fuck, mate. You’ve got everything to lose. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Tyler scowls. “You going to listen to what I have to say or are you just going to keep lecturing me?”

“I should be beating your ass is what I should be doing. For being so fucking stupid.”

“You done? You going to let me talk or…”

“I need another drink to put up with the likes of you,” Koen mutters, then gets up from the table and pours himself another.

“I’m starting my own business,” Tyler tells him.

“Your own merc business?”

He nods.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Koen knocks back the whisky in one gulp. “Why the ever loving hell?”

“I’ve already started getting the word out. Reaching out to people I’ve done jobs for, guys I’ve worked with, contacts I’ve held onto. Once things really start spreading around, there won’t be a shortage of jobs. And guys willing to jump ship to come work for me.”

“So why you here? Why come talk to me?”

“I’m offering you a job.”

Koen’s eyes narrow. “As a merc?”

“A well paid one.”

“Holy...shit…” Koen chuckles and shakes his head. “What in the blue hell?”

“You and I go back a lot of years,” Tyler reminds him.

“A hell of a lot,” his friend agrees.

And I wouldn’t come to you if I didn’t trust you. With my life I know a lot of guys...a lot of experienced mercs...and I still would want you having my back over any of them.”

“Don’t try and sweet talk me, blue eyes. Your pretty face won’t work its magic on me.”

“You’ve got the experience. You’ve put in a fuck of a lot of years with the SARS. Even more than me.  So you’d be able to do this. You’re a hell of a good shot, you’ve got tons of combat experience, and you know your way around a tons of different weapons. Your hand to hand combat leaves a little to be desired, but…”

“A little to be desired, huh? How about we go outside right now and I show you how good my hands are.”

Tyler scoffs. “You wanting me to fight me or are you offering to jerk me off?”

Koen smirks.

“I know your military benefits are shit. Probably not much more than mine. You can’t live off that forever. I’m offering you a chance of a lifetime here. We’re talking big money.”

“How big?”

“These would be big jobs. High profile clients. You know that gig I had in Ireland? Right before we moved back here?”

Koen nods.

“I got five million for that. And that was only part of the job. I didn’t even need to see it through. Imagine the kind of payouts we’d bring in from big spenders?”

“Are you telling me I’m sitting across from a millionaire right now?”

Tyler just smiles.

“Jesus fuck. Are you serious?”

“I won’t tell you who paid me. That doesn’t matter. But we’d be attracting people with even more money and even bigger scores to settle. You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound like something you’d go for.”

“How many of us are there?”

“I’ve got three so far. An ex Marine, Ovi…”

“The kind you pulled out of Dhaka?”

“...and Rata.”

Koen’s glass is pressed against his lips. “You already talked to that rat bastard? Before me? When?”

“Last night he came by the house. He was in Cairns with that new girlfriend of his. Didn’t take much to get him to come on board.”

“Yeah, he’s always been a few bricks short a load, though.”

“I need you in on this,” Tyler insists. “You’d be the perfect fit. I know the things you can do. I saw them...for myself...in Kabul and Kandahar. This is right up your alley.”

“How the hell are you going to pull this off? Get everything you need? Guns, ammo, whatever the fuck else a merc uses.”

“You don’t spend years as a mercenary and not make contacts. Reliable ones. I’ve got a guy stopping here in the morning.  He has a haul of stuff for me. Rifles, handguns, utility vests, grenades. You name it. And there’s more where that came from. A lot more.”

“You’re fucking insane, you know that? Getting mixed up with this shit again.”

“Maybe,” Tyler admits. “But it’s what I know. It’s who I am. Why piss away an opportunity like this?”

Koen sighs, then shakes his head and gets up to fetch himself another drink.

“So,” Tyler says, as he leans back in his chair, legs stretched out in front of him, arms crossed over his chest. “You in or out?”

“Fuck it,” Koen growls, then downs his drink and slams the empty glass down on the counter top. “I’m in.”

[unloveable-unreachable]

You’re the One My Heart Wants- Chapter 9

Word Count: 3,864

Warnings: Swearing & Mentions of blood

Author: Me

A/N: Alright guys here’s the first chapter of the week, the next one will be posted on my birthday on Saturday (or at least that’s the plan).

Two Weeks Later

Headlines:

~~USWNT take on New Zealand after their win against South Africa in their send-off game line up.~~

~~Defending World Cup Champions are showing great promise throughout their friendly matches, per usual.~~

Y/N POV

Game days always make me nervous no matter who we play. The amount of stress our team is put under is ridiculous because we’re always expected to play the very best and always pull out a win. Don’t get me wrong, we want the same thing every match. We put in a lot of work all year to be the very best, it’s almost like we don’t get an off season. We don’t complain though, we love our job. We get to do things others don’t like we get to be on the world stage to show everyone what a force our team is. What people don’t know is that our wins aren’t as easy as we make them look. Our job is hard work, I think it was Tobin who said “Soccer is a work of art”, and she’s not wrong. It takes a lot of hard work and training to get to our level of play, and it takes even more work and training to stay at that level. We all love the game more than anyone, and we show it out on the pitch every match. We’re the biggest badasses you’ll ever meet, but if you were to ask any of us about game day more than half of us would say that game day is nerve-wracking.

We made it through our match against South Africa pretty easily, but I’m already focused on our match against New Zealand today. “You’ll do great, kiddo,” a smiling Ali says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I give her a soft smile, still pretty nervous as always. “Yeah, she’s right Y/N. You’ll do great like you always do,” Christen says with a supportive look. I give her a sympathetic smile, and she returns one of her bright grins. I felt bad because I was a starter and she wasn’t, she deserved it more than me. Jill doesn’t see the potential of our team and it really shows, especially when she starts throwing us in random positions. Fucking dumb if you ask me. Christen was faster than me, don’t get me wrong I’m pretty fast but she was definitely faster, and she’s been known to produce more goals than me. I’ve seen her stats compared to mine, they don’t even come close. I guess Jill is just trying to give me playing time before the World Cup. In any case, I’ll prove myself out on the pitch every chance I get. “Thanks, guys,” I say to them before I finish lacing up my cleats and adjusting my socks. Ready to go. Jill comes in and gives us a pep talk, going over the game plan yet again. “Alright, ladies 5 minutes till you need to be in line in the tunnel. Let’s go,” Jill says as she follows Dawn out of the locker room. When I start heading out with everyone, I’m suddenly pulled back by someone. What the fuck? I turn to see who would be holding me back from lining up, and of course it was Alex. “Good luck out there. I know you’ll do great like you always do,” she says with a big grin. I smile back and say, “You just like seeing me out on the pitch with you, creep.” She lets out a goofy laugh causing me to laugh as well, while I pull her in for a quick kiss. “Good luck to you too, Al. Kick ass out there like I know you can,” I say after pulling away from our kiss. She laughs again and gives me a smirk and a wink as we head out to the tunnel.

The match is really one-sided after the first half, we’re up 4-0, and that’s where we still are after the 60th minute. I’ve been trying to get on goal, but I’m constantly being covered by two defenders. One is really pissing me off because she won’t get off my ass, fucking bitch. It was irritating the fuck out of me, to say the least. If I’m going to show Jill what I can do then I need to get a touch on the ball, like now. It’s the 70th minute before I finally see an opening. Sammy’s pushing the ball up the pitch towards me, but she sends a long ball to Alex instead. I can still see my opening and I’m fucking taking it. I move on goal, and Alex sees me before sending in a cross to the box. I jump up with one of the New Zealand players, the same one that’s been on my ass the whole match, and I manage to get my head on it first. I watch the ball while it goes towards the goal as I come down to the ground. Then, out of nowhere, I feel a sharp pain in my face as I hit the ground, losing sight of the ball and knocking the wind out of me. “Jesus...Fucking...Christ,” I groan while I lay on the pitch, with my eyes still closed. I hear a whistle in the background, but I still haven’t opened my eyes. “Ref! She punched her in the face on purpose! The ball wasn’t even near them anymore when she did it! Card her, now!” I hear someone yell, but I can’t tell who it is. When I finally open my eyes, I’m surrounded by my teammates. I groan as I sit up, my head pounding like crazy, and they all make sounds of disgust. “What? It can’t be that bad,” I say as I reach up towards my nose. I make eye contact with Alex, who brings her hand to her mouth with a look of worry, before looking down at my hand. Blood, and a lot of it. Fucking great. It doesn’t take long for the medics to come, and it doesn’t take too long after that for them to pull me out of the match. “Hey, wait,” I say as they lead me to the locker room, “Did I score at least?” They laugh and tell me that yes I did in fact score. “Sweet,” I say with a goofy grin as we reach the training room.

We won 5-0, but I missed the rest of the match because I was stuck with the medical team. Fuck these injuries, seriously. I’m fucking tired of missing out on playing. Jill’s going to start thinking I’m fragile and won’t put me in a match again. I’m not fragile in any way whenever it comes to soccer, this is fucking aggravating. “It’s broken, but not too bad. So that’s good, but you’ll have to be out for about two weeks. You won’t miss any of the World Cup,” they say before telling me to rest. Thank fucking god. If I missed any World Cup action I would’ve been more pissed off than I am now. When they leave I lay back on the table and place the ice pack on my nose, trying to think of something other than the pain I was experiencing. I lay there in silence for a moment, and close my eyes. The door swings open maybe 5 minutes later, causing me to jump at the sound. I sit up to see Dawn trying to keep a lot of my teammates out of the room. “I can’t let you in, she needs to rest,” Dawn says, struggle clear in her voice. “I don’t care, Dawn. That’s my kid in there and I have to check on her to see if she’s okay. So either you move or I move you,” a very angry Ali Krieger says. I laugh, “It’s okay, Dawn. Let them in,” She gives me a look before stepping back to reveal Ali, Ash, Pinoe, Sonny, Lindsey, Sammy, Kelley, Allie and hiding in the back of the group was my girlfriend.

“Hey, guys. What’s up? Why the long faces?” I say with a laugh. Ali comes over and pulls me in a hug before punching me in the shoulder. “Ouch! What the hell Ali?!” I yell while rubbing my arm. “That’s for making me worried, and then making a joke about it,” she says. “Like I meant to get punched in the face,” I say as I roll my eyes. Ash laughs as she pats my head, and then takes a look at my nose, along with all the other goofs in the room. “Damnnnnn, that’s a pretty nose. How long are you out for?” Sonny asks while lifting my chin to get a ‘better’ look at my swollen nose. “Two weeks. Let me go, Sonny,” I answer, trying to pull away from her grasp. “Only two weeks?? Based on all that blood gushing out of there I thought you’d miss more,” Sammy says with a shocked look. “You know Y/N wouldn’t let them make her miss more than one game, Sammy. Our best friend is pretty hard-headed, well except for when she needed those stitches a month ago,” Lindsey says with a laugh. That causes Sonny to start laughing her ass off, along with Kelley and Pinoe. Jesus, why did I let them in here? Is it too late to call Dawn back in the room to haul them out? I roll my eyes while they all ask more questions, make more jokes, and congratulate me on my goal. But I don’t listen to them, all my attention was on Alex. She hadn’t left her spot on the back wall or said anything since she got here, she just stared at everyone else asking all their questions. When our eyes finally meet, she gives me a soft look with a soft smile which I returned. But I couldn’t help but notice that she looked upset, over what I don’t know. She just leaned against the wall and watched the chaos in the room. “Okay,” I say, gaining everyone's attention, “Someone help me to the locker room so I can change out of these bloody clothes.” Kelley was the first to grab my arm to help me off the table. “I’ve got dibs on helping Biggie Smalls!” she yells as we headed to the locker room.

The bus ride back to the hotel was weird, to say the least. Normally, Alex would sit next to me on the bus but she was sitting with Allie, and Kelley was sitting by me while my moms sat in front of us. It was weird because Alex still hadn’t talked to me since the beginning of the match, and that’s never happened before. I asked Kelley if she knew what was wrong with her, but of course she didn’t know shit. I sent Alex a text after the game to see what was wrong with her, but she hasn’t looked at her phone. Like I said, this bus ride was weird. When we finally reach the hotel, I head up to my room hoping to talk to her, but I guess I beat her to the room because she wasn’t here. I decided to wait for her before heading back downstairs for dinner. Jesus, where the fuck is she? Almost 45 minutes pass before I finally hear the door to the room open. Alex came in and set her things down on the table, still not looking at me. “So, are you done avoiding me or ignoring me or whatever it is you’re doing?” I ask, causing her to stop whatever she’s doing. “I’m not avoiding you or ignoring you,” she whispers. “Then what’s wrong, Alex?” I ask, confusion obvious in my tone. She sighs and stands in her spot for a moment before turning to face me. I could see how upset she was just by looking in her eyes, something was bothering her. “You scared me today...When I got to you after she punched you, your eyes weren’t open. They were closed for what felt like forever, Y/N,” she starts with her voice getting shaky and tears forming in her eyes, “Then when you sat up you were just bleeding so much, and after you got off the pitch all I wanted to do was follow you but Kelley wouldn’t let me. Throughout the rest of the match, all I could think about was getting to you.”

I look at her with wide eyes because I didn’t realize any of this. How fucking clueless am I?? Of course my girlfriend is going to be worried about me when I get hurt in a match. What a dumbass. I get up from the bed and stepped towards her, waiting for permission to touch her. When she nods with teary eyes, I pull her into a tight hug causing her to sob quietly. “I’m so sorry, Al. I’m okay, see? I’m up and moving. I’ll just have to sit out for the next friendly, but other than that I’m okay. I promise, don’t cry. I’m okay,” I say while rubbing her back. She pulls away from our hug and wipes the stray tears away from her cheeks. When she calms down, she gives me a smirk. That damn smirk. “Okay, Y/N. If you say so. I just don’t like seeing you hurt,” she says. “So, you aren’t mad at me or hate me, correct?” I ask with a goofy smile. “No, I’m not mad at you and I could never hate you, you goof,” she says while rolling her eyes at my question. “Good to know,” I say, leaning down to kiss my girlfriend. She kisses me back with as much passion as she can while being careful of my nose, bringing her hands to my face. I rest my hands on her waist, pulling her closer. I take a step back towards the bed, sitting down whenever my legs hit the mattress. Alex climbs up into my lap while she catches her breath, a smile clear across her face. I smile at her before kissing her again. My hand sneaks its way up the back of her shirt, feeling every one of her muscles with the pads of my fingers. My other hand finds its way to her thigh. She tightens her arms around my neck as I rub her leg. Before things got too heated I pull away, leaving her looking upset. “We should stop. We have training in the morning, and you have more media to get through,” I say, trying to fight the urge to keep going. She lets out a sigh, then nods her head. “You’re a tease, you know that?” she says with a smile before kissing my forehead while getting off my lap. I fall back on the bed trying to slow my heart rate. When I sit up to look at her coming out of the bathroom, my heart stops. So much for that. All thoughts of dinner are gone and I’m definitely not mad about it. Alex was wearing one of my sweatshirts and a pair of shorts, she was a beauty and she was all mine. I set my alarm as she got in bed, cuddling up next to me as soon as I laid back down. Soon we both fall asleep, in our little bubble of happiness.

8 Days Later

Alex’s POV

“Y/N, wake up,” I say while poking her cheek. That doesn’t do anything, per usual. This was our every morning, well our every morning since we started sleeping in the same bed every night. I love getting to sleep next to her, she made me feel safe in her arms and it helped me sleep throughout the night. But honestly, I swear my girlfriend was the heaviest sleeper I’ve ever met. She looked peaceful while she slept though, well besides her black and blue nose she was still sporting today. It wasn’t as bad as it has been, which is really great because that means she can get back on the pitch pretty soon. We all missed her being out there with us. I watched her sleep for a few more moments before I see her eyes slowly open. “Good morning, sleepy head,” I say causing her to give me a pretty cute, sheepish smile. “Morning, babe,” Y/N says before snuggling more into me. I laugh while trying to push her off of me. “We have to get up, Y/N. We have media all day today and we can’t miss it,” I say in a semi-serious tone. I have to admit, she was being really fucking cute right now but this wasn’t a day to act like this. “Noooo, I wanna stay in bed with you all day. It’s not fair, I’m injured. I should get to spend the day in bed with my girlfriend all day,” Y/N mumbles against my shirt. She has a point, I’d much rather spend the day in bed with her, too. She finally groans, giving up of course, and gets up to get ready. We all have to dress the same, blue shirt with our gray sweats. Y/N looked like she was hating life when we left the room, probably because she hit her nose while getting ready to leave. Poor thing.

The whole team still doesn’t know about my relationship with Y/N, only a few actually knew. I want to tell all of them but I’m always being drug off into more and more media and that keeps me from having the time to tell them. I was ready for them to know, I just needed a good time where all of us would be together. When we meet the group downstairs, Y/N goes to find Ali or Dawn for some pain medicine. I hated that she was still in pain over the whole thing and that I couldn’t really do anything to help. I go looking for Kelley and Allie before we have to get in the vans to head to Good Morning, America and the Twitter Headquarters. “How’s Y/N doing?” Kelley asks when I join her and Allie in the lobby. I look over to where my girlfriend was, laughing at something Ash said like usual. I missed that laugh over the past few days. When I’m not around I miss her and when I’m here she’s normally sleeping or with Krashlyn or her friends. I wasn’t mad that she was doing all of that because I know she hates when I’m gone all day with obligations to the team, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t miss her because I always do. “She’s doing better. I haven’t been able to be around her that much, but she says she feels better,” I say to Kelley. “You miss her on media days, don’t you?” Kelley asks with a look of concern. I sigh and look at her and Allie’s concerned faces, “Yes, but I can’t do anything about it. She knows about my responsibilities to the team. I can’t do anything about missing her. I always get to see her when I come back so that helps.” They nod to what I said. “Well I can do something about that,” Kelley says, “Hey, Biggie Smalls! Come on, you’re riding with us.” I look at Kelley in shock as my girlfriend follows us to the van.

When we get to Good Morning, America we’re greeted by a whole bunch of media so that means I can’t be as close to my girlfriend as I’d like to. Y/N seems okay though since she’s hanging out with her best friends, and also since she’s cracking jokes with Tobin and Christen. It isn’t until later when I finally get to stand next to her while we’re backstage waiting to walk out. “You okay?” I ask her since she looks like she’s in pain. “Yeah. I’m fine, babe. Nothing cuddles won’t fix later,” she answers with a smirk followed by a wink. “You’re a child,” I say back with a laugh. “Behave yourself, kiddo” Ash whispers to Y/N from behind her as we walk out on stage. The show was going really well, until one of the last questions that was directed towards me. “Alex, since your divorce from Servando Carrasco, have you met someone else?” Of all things to ask a soccer team. What has the world come to? Honestly, priorities people. Not wanting to avoid the question I say, “Umm, yes I am seeing someone. Don’t worry, they’re a soccer player too. But we’d like to keep our relationship private at this time.” That seemed to be a good enough answer for them, as they went on to ask Pinoe about our goal in the tournament and women’s soccer growth. I glance over my shoulder to look at my girlfriend, who meets my gaze. She gives me a small nod and a smile, I smile back and return my focus to what Pinoe was saying. We spent about two hours at the Twitter Headquarters after leaving Good Morning, America before heading back to the hotel to get our things for the plane ride to New Jersey. We mostly went through tweets and answered some polls for the fans, and we played some foosball made up of the whole team. It was great getting to see all of us relax and have a little fun outside of the pitch for once. We really enjoyed these type of days, it allowed us to sort of relax and have fun without having to worry about training. I watched Y/N throughout the day, seeing her smile more than she has in the past week. She lit up whenever she interacted with everyone, and her damn eyes were the light smoke color again. Fucking beautiful, no lie. 

“Today was looonnnggg,” Y/N groans loudly next to me. We just to the hotel in New Jersey, and we had about an hour before we had to go out to dinner with the team. I was sitting next to Y/N on the bed, rubbing her back. “I know, baby. How’s your nose? Do you want any pain medicine?” I ask. She rolls over and gives me big puppy dog eyes and a pout, “It still hurts pretty bad. Could I have some medicine, please?” I smile at how cute she was being, give her a quick kiss and head over to my bag for something to help with her pain. When I turn to give her the medicine, she’s already asleep of course. She sleeps more than anyone I knew, she’s worse than Kelley and that’s saying something. I set the medicine on the bedside table and set an alarm to let us know when we needed to get ready for dinner. I get in bed next to her, pulling the covers up and kissing her cheek. As I’m getting comfortable next to her, she cuddles into my chest and mumbles something loud enough for me to hear.

“I love you, Alex.”

To Be Continued

[ainabaina]

While I’m in an emotional mood - from BEING SO FOCUSED I COULDN’T SEE PROPERLY - HAVING MY HEART PLUMMET when SUNWOO FELL TO HIS DEATH, my heart RIPPED from all the high notes they were all spitting- Hui, Seonho etc (sorry I can’t remember my head’s like blank), to the sweat coming out excessively from my eyes during those interviews and THEN MY HAND HAD SOMEHOW BECOME ROGUE AND STARTED ACTING UP and IT’S ALL THE MC’s FAULT - ADD TO THE DRAMA WHY DON’T YOU? 

But seeing these boys cry and perform their hearts out and on a programme that’s attentive to this, I’m really proud of them. I’m proud of all of them. 

I haven’t watched passed The Boyz performance in episode 3 yet because I’m still waiting for my friend to watch it together so just a heads up why I won’t mention anything after that! 

Golden Child - I was honestly so surprised to see they got eliminated and so fast too! But I hope everyone sends them love regardless. They’re absolutely excellent artists so please give them love. I first saw these guys on the Weekly Idol episode they did with Weki Meki and fell in love with Donghyun but could never pick him out anywhere else because he just blended so well with blue. Also TAG’s reaction was so cute. Like their performance told a story. It was so artistic. My bias is Donghyun and TAG. PLEASE GIVE GOLDEN CHILD LOVE. ALSO WANNABE is an amazing song, please check out and stream their music. When Jangjun was on the phone with The Boyz, oh my god, he’s so funny but man if he did that to me he’d probably get a hiding. Not gonna lie :D 

TOO - Before RTK, I knew of them. I knew Magnolia but not enough to be familiar with the beat or lyrics. I knew Kyungho but only by face. The dance battle video too came frequently on my dash on Youtube and I regret not watching it sooner. The fact that they literally debuted in April just amazes me. Their Rising Sun performance was just so amazing, like I’ve watched it so many times. Also Donggeon, underrated vocalist, he’s become one of my favourites and literally just with that single performance, the power. TOO underrated everything. My biases (well at this point in time, I still need to get familiar with them) are Kyungho and Woongi. 

ONEUS - I was so happy seeing these boys on RTK and I hoped they would be able to grow their fanbase and their skills in the way they deserve. These boys are absolute treasures and literally all are some of the sweetest boys I’ve ever seen. I was already a fan of ONEUS before RTK and they really did not disappoint. My bias in ONEUS is Ravn and that did not change, although I did have difficulty finding who my biaswrecker was because they kind of all have that title at the moment. I love their new song too. Like give me more please. Also when the concept movie thing came out, I just wouldn’t leave my seat for a good half hour because I just kept getting immersed in it. 

VERIVERY - Now this is the group I probably feel the most apologetic (?) to because in comparison to other groups, I’m not too sure I can differentiate anyone and I know I could literally look up their names but it kind of feels more authentic (?) I guess this way. I know who Kangmin is and I thought we were the same age but nope he’s younger than me, way younger than I thought. I also really like their leader, Dongheon (I couldn’t help myself and looked up names and am just checking out their profile) and the way he organises his members and leads his members is absolutely amazing and diligent. Also - Hoyoung? Studied in New Zealand? AHH, wow it’s so weird hearing his accent cause like it’s also mine and I don’t know why it’s so strange to me. Fuck I want to find out what part of New Zealand he's from and I want them to perform here. Shit now I want to talk to him.  Okay guys please send recommendations of what I should watch because I can’t let this group slip from my fingers when I have them in sight so- 

Pentagon - AHH! Pentagon! I’m so fucking proud of them. They always hold themselves high throughout anything and they stay confident and everything no matter what happens. Seriously they’re boys that you could put all your trust, love and support in and know that it’s in a safe place and that with them it’s valued and I’m not saying that other groups aren’t like that, I just feel like it’s a thing with them. I mean, just look at Kino and that’s all the validation you need. But wow, their themes are absolutely amazing and Hui’s high note fucking killed me tonight. I knew who Pentagon were before RTK and stan them (kind of casually - I watch their videos and content often) But I have four biases in Pentagon and can’t choose between them and like there’s also another member that keeps snapping his fingers in front of my face and I’m tryna stay loyal. But I’ve got four possible biases, Jinho, YeoOne, Kino and Hui and there’s just a warm feeling with these guys. Like help, I can’t choose a bias from Pentagon to save my life and I’m kind of sad that Jinho has gone to serve military enlistment so soon but that just means he’ll be back sooner. 

ONF - Wow, ONF. That amount of things I’ve heard about them like literally a couple of weeks/months before RTK has been outstandingly large and I always seemed to see them with ATEEZ often. But their performances are so hard to get over, it like captures you in the moment with an ecstatic amount of dimensions and it’s just all really thought out. They’re also hilarious. Like I had to rewind a lot of the time because I find this one particular bit so funny. Their reactions were what I lived for. I’ve also come to realise I have a massive crush on Wyatt. Like damn. But can’t wait to listen to their music more and to find out more about their members. Right now all I really know is Wyatt and I’d like to get to know more. 

The Boyz - YAY! Congratulations my boys. So fucking proud of you you have no idea. Fucking freaked me out a lot (Sunwoo I’m looking at you you little sh*t) but I was in awe just watching you completely in your element. I used to be only a casual fan and knew most of the members but not all. I watched a couple of fan edits and liked a few pictures. I was so upset when Hwall left (and I hope he knows how proud of him I am as well). He was my bias and everything too so it was kind of a double hit. But 2020 must of been the year that I would eventually stan them stan them, stan them so much that they become top 3 on my personal kpop group bias list. Like I’m watching a lot of Youtube with them and their concepts and their ideas are so creative and open-minded. Like a concept is just a word to them and not a concrete ‘must do this’. But since becoming a stan, my love for Sunwoo grew again (I used to struggle between choosing between him and Hwall and also double biased them) and he’s actually my ideal type out of kpop idols. I also grew a love for Hyunjae and let me tell you, he fucking intimidates me and a massive part of that is because I have a crush on him. It’s just like-man. I remember first stanning them or trying to at least and like it feels like a faraway dream because it feels like it’s been forever supporting these boys and like they’ve become part of my heart and soul now. Like I love them so much and like world domination. 

[dailyaudiobible]

02/13/2021 DAB Transcript

Ex 35:10-36:38, Matt 27:32-66, Ps 34:1-10, Pr 9:7-8

Today is the 13th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here with you. It's a joy as we bring to a close another one of our weeks together. And they…they just kind of go by don’t they. And like hear we are, like middle of the second month of the year already. Here we are. And that’s just it…that’s just it. That’s how life goes, but it becomes really really apparent as we enter into the rhythm of the Scriptures and continue to absorb them day by day just to mark the time. Here we are the middle of February and it won't be long before we’re saying here we are in the middle of September. So, let's continue to buckle in. Let's continue to really invest our hearts into what the Scriptures are telling us because by the time we get to that time we’re…we’re like, “can you believe it is the middle of September?” We can be different people than we are right now. If we follow this path and we keep on this path day by day step-by-step and not just be hearers but be doers, yeah, by the time we’re saying, can you believe it’s the middle of September allot will have shifted in our lives. And, so, let’s dive in and take the next step for this week, which is the final step of this week. We’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible. Exodus chapter 35 verse 10 through 36 verse 38.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another week to spend together in Your word. And Jesus, we have spent…spent a good portion of this week just…just being in Your last days telling the story of Your last days, Your arrest, the betrayal, the trial and now Your crucifixion, execution unjustly and Your burial. And we can often…we can often zoom to the end of the story. In fact, we do because it's too painful. It...it’s hard to contemplate what happened to You. It's hard to contemplate that it happened on our behalf. It humbles us but we want to move past that to the resurrection and it's important that we that we do but not before we sit with this, that You are our Savior. And we just…we’ve just gone through the whole book of Matthew watching Your ministry unfold, watching the way that You were simply calling the truth out from the shadows and how that riled things up so much, that this…this what we read today, this…this is happening and gives us such a stark glimpse of how dark things can get, of how dark things had gotten, about how dark things have gotten. And, so, we cling to You and we cling with hope. And Yes, we can turn the page, and yes, we can read of the resurrection. But it's important for us to stay here and wait for that as we sit with what it cost to let us be here, so freely reading Your word, and so freely interacting, so freely up moving around. And You died to make us free. And, so, Holy Spirit come. Show us how to meditate upon that today and sit with that we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it's the website, and indeed how to find out what’s going on around here. So, stay connected.

The place to get connection or connected would be the Community section at dailyaudiobible.com or if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can find the Community section in there. That's where the Prayer Wall lives. I remind us often so that we won't forget. It's…it's also where all the different links to social media channels etc. etc. are. So, check that out and get connected.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. Thank you so much for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage. If you're using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

H DAB family this is Sonya in Austin TX and I'm just calling to…it's February 10th and Brian was talking about wisdom, listening, and taking that heartbeat minute to pause before you speak and my gosh, I wish I would've done that last night. My husband was trying to talk to me, and I opened my mouth and it just became ugly and it shouldn't have been ugly I should have kept my mouth quiet and actually listened. And instead made him feel bad about his job and situation and that of course wasn't my intent, but I seem to sabotage this when he tries to open up to me and I need to be quiet and I need to let wisdom speak. So, just pray for wisdom to enter into me sooner, to kick me, to…to staple my tongue down, be quiet and to listen to my husband in the future. And I do pray that you lift Michael up and help him to get a job where he'll be satisfied. He's working in a school cafeteria and just…he isn't happy and it's not where God wants him to be. And the people he works with are just…they are very nice people but they're not competent. And, so, he's doing three peoples’ jobs and then if something slips by then he's the manager so he's the one who gets in trouble. So, he's constantly having to go back in to do their jobs, simple things like counting and stuff because they're off on their numbers by a lot, not just like one or two, but by like 40. Again, nice people, but just…it's just very hard when you're basically doing everyone's job for them and then you take the blame. And I know there's a job out there that God has for him. So just please…

Hello this is sister Bridget from Northern California and I'm reaching out to my sister Hannah in New Zealand who called in asking for our prayers for her and her family as they grieve the loss of their dad who took his life. And I just want to say I'm so sorry sister Hannah and my heart…I know all our hearts are grieving with you all. And I want you to know that I am praying for you and I want to pray now for you and your family. Heavenly Father I thank You that You know us, You know the depths of our hearts and You…You know the depths of grief. And I want to thank You that You carried them Yourself. So interesting that we heard about You praying in the gardener Gethsemane before Your crucifixion, how You poured out Your heart and the grief and despair You experienced. Lord I thank You that You know that You…You enter in for us and I pray that Hannah and her family can be completely sustained by Your presence. Holy Spirit I ask for Your spirit of comfort and unity to bind them together. I pray that You would illuminate their darkness and help them to see…see Your presence and see You work wonders as You draw their hearts towards…

I am a stay-at-home mum to 3 little babies. The youngest ones nine months old and I'm married to a wonderful man who has who has a serious alcohol problem that's caused a lot of issues in our life, especially as of recently. And I'm just asking for prayer for how to deal with all of it and how to keep myself and keep my peace and how to help him as much as I can. I just need God to give me some peace about it and maybe start moving in his life because he's a good man and I'm not gonna leave him. He's not dangerous, he's just…he's got issues and I just need to know how to help him or I need God to help him. So, if you could pray for that it would mean a lot. Thank you.

Hello family this is Biola from Maryland and I hope you're all doing well. Brian and Jill God bless you. God bless your family and your ministry. Family I've been struck with so many prayer requests a lot of you are calling in and the weight of it all, you know. And I recall the scripture where Jesus was saying in this world you will have trouble but be of good cheer I have overcome the world beard. And...and, you know, sometimes it's it sounds so heavy and it's so witty and oh Lord Jesus I just bring everyone in the Daily Audio Bible family unto you oh God who is going through troubles and tribulations and trials and heaviness. And I just finished listening to you Greg and…and as you broke down and started, you know, asking for prayer and also crying I just…oh my goodness my heart was just gripped. Father Lord I pray that you would step into my brother’s situation oh God and intervene in the name of Jesus. Oh God I pray oh God Lord that you will show yourself strong on behalf of his family, that they will come to know you God Lord his wife oh God and his…his…his children oh God Lord his grandchildren they will come to know you as their Lord of passed down saviors. Hannah from New Zealand as a heard your prayer request too I was so burdened. Oh, father I pray oh God for my sister that you wrap your arms around her and her family members and that you will just heal them and comfort them oh God over the passing of their dad oh God Lord. And I pray for wisdom for them in this situation, that the fights will stop in the name of Jesus. Kingdom Seeker Daniel, I listened to your prayer request and I was just shaking my head and I'm like Oh my goodness. Oh, father Lord I arrest oh God every plan of the devil oh Lord of that family I cancel in the name of…

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community this is Diane Olive Braun an encourager one of many shalom shalom. I am adding my log to the campfire the Global Campfire and today this morning it is 5 minutes to 1:00 in the morning and I read…I listened and while Ezekiel and Ezekiel’s mama Jill together read the story of the betrayal of Jesus. And I'm still in the forgiveness area and how important it is and how hard it is. It must have been hard for Jesus to forgive all of those people that turned against him but if He's my example then I can look at how He had his Last Supper with Judas Iscariot and I think of Corrie Tenbaum, a story that helps me think about forgiveness when she met the…the Nazi soldier that was so mean to her and he stuck his hand out to shake her hand and by her own will she shook his hand and a power went through her hand and her arm…

Good morning my dear baby precious family this is Eyes of a Dove in Snoqualmie WA. It's been a while since I've called in, but I've been in the background listening and praying along with all of you. My dear little sister…oh…I can't remember your name but boy every morning I'm just praying for you. You called in about your mom with the drug addiction and she was blaming you out of her own guilt. You know, when we allow drugs into our lives it stops our brain from maturing and reasoning and our flesh, pride makes it very hard as adults and to turn back and say hey we made mistakes and we're making mistakes. And I want to tell you as a mom of four kids please let me be an example of your mom and tell you sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I've done drugs. I'm sorry that I am not loving myself the way God wants to love me and choosing not to do those drugs. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you. I’ve made you scared. I made you feel broken and I'm sorry that I haven't been that example of a mom that you need. And I'm going to get better. And Father we lift up this precious little girl’s mummy. Father I ask that You would just begin to bring new life into her, Father that You would make drugs horrible tasting and feeling in her body, that she would have the desire to remove those from her life and to live a God centered life. And Father I pray You humble her and have her come to her daughter at full repentance. Thank You. Thank You for putting her in a home with her auntie an uncle so she can flourish and grow. And just continue to love and grow her in the name of Jesus. Amen. I’m beside you young lady. Keep calling in…

[sbwriel-cymraeg]

Eddie Kaspbrak deserved better.

Let me start with this. IT, written by Stephen King, made into a movie in 2017 and then another in 2019, about a clown with a big forehead, who likes dining on children, and gets his ass kicked by a group of teenage misfits (and then again when said misfits are just about past their midlife crisis). It's a horror, it's creepy and it's gross, now you see, I don't do horrors. I'm an absolute wuss. I can't even walk into a creepy abandoned building without a plank of wood in my hand for protection, and at least two people on either side of me who would obviously be kidnapped first (and that gives me enough time to scream and run away). Anyway, I don't like horrors. So you can probably guess that there was no way in hell, or earth, that I would be watching something that involved a terrifying monster who drools as much as a bulldog (he should seriously get that checked). No way I was going to read the book, as much as I love reading, and wouldn't even consider the original from the 90s although the 90s rules the movie scene (don't argue, we all know Jurassic Park is the best movie of all time). But the thing was, I have a friend, and he can be very persuading (in the form of pizza and snacks) and also, I'm a huge McAvoy fan, and James Ransone, I've never seen that guy before but well, when I saw him in the trailer, hello handsome. And don't get me started on Bill Hader, man do I fancy that bloke... Anyway I'm going off topic. So blah blah, we end up sitting down one night, with our buffet and many cups of tea, and weirdly, we start watching IT Chapter 2 first, because he wanted to see it since it was new. I go into it with no bloody clue what was going on, who was who, why parents would let their kid out in the rain by themselves, or how nobody noticed a load of bodies leaking out of the sewer. I was asking alot of questions. But, here's the thing. Onto the whole point of this rant. Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie Spaghetti. Eds. The cute, little, angry man who instantly caught my attention (not just by the fact that Mr Ransone is a handsome S.O.B). From the moment he sped down the road in his posh jeep, yelling at other drivers (I feel your pain Eds) to crashing said posh jeep because he was distracted by a phone call (bad Eddie!) He instantly stole my 28 year old, attracted to dark and handsome older men, heart. Of course, I had no clue about these characters, all I saw was cute, angry man, funny dork with glasses, red headed lady, that guy from New Zealand, man who lasted five seconds, handsome librarian, and Professor X, and of course that clown that lives in the drain. So, as the movie went on, Eddie became my number one (Richie following behind in second). I learnt all about him from my friend, and more about him during the film, and couldn't help but feel sorry for the little bastard. He had a wife that I could tell he didn't love who treated him like doodoo, as a kid his dearest mom was overprotective, controlling and gave him freaking placebos to make him think he was ill (the fuck Mrs K?), that made him so nervous about getting sick and paranoid beyond belief, and I mean, his job wasn't the most exciting. Not to mention he has anxiety worse than a nun in a whore house, and was obviously afraid the most out of the group. And then, AND THEN, the film decides to drop some hints about Richie. Ah, dearest Richie, who has perfect taste in men. He's in love with Eddie. In. Freaking. Love with him. You could tell by the way he was so protective of him, constantly made fun of him (we all know that's how dudes get their crushes attention) and of course, R + E. So, of course, nearing the end of the movie, there's me grinning like an idiot, having the thought of Eddie and Richie getting out of the final fight untouched, Richie declaring his undying love for his Eddie Spaghetti, Eddie admitting his feelings for his Trashmouth, getting a kiss in there, Eds declaring he was divorcing him moth- sorry, wife, and the two walking into the sunset to start a new life together, in a nice cottage in the hills, getting married, having three kids, five dogs, ten cats, and living happily ever after. But then, my hopes and dreams were shattered. Stephen, I'm looking at you. They killed Eddie. THEY KILLED EDDIE! EDDIE! Out of all the FREAKING characters they could have booted off, they chose Eddie the rage monster, the little man with a big personality, the least deserving to freaking die in my opinion. Stephen, how could you? How could you?! Why did he have to die? Why did they have to end his life that way? Why couldn't he have a happy ending like the rest of the Losers? Not including Richie of course. Oh no, they didn't just fuck Eddie over, they also fucked over Richie. Killing the love of his life, right after he saves him, bleeding all over his big ass glasses, calling his name softly, looking at him with his big, brown eyes. Yep, Richie probably went home after the Kissing Bridge and thought about Eddie every damn day of his life. But no, they didn't just kill Eddie, oh no no, they went a step further. They left his body to rot in the sewers. Yes Andy, I'm glaring at you, you evil, evil man. They didn't take the route that Mr King took in his book, or from the original IT movie (yes I watched that later on too) no, Mr A decided to have Eddie die all alone whilst the Losers finished off Pennywise, then have Richie go back and see his dead body, freak out and have hope that they can save him, hug him tight, and not let him go. And then, oh boy, and then, they have Mike and Ben literally FORCE Richie off of Eddie, and DRAG him out of the sewers. WITHOUT EDDIE. I'm sorry Mr Andy, but tell me, how could they, Eddie's best friends, the ones who were always there for him, who they loved and adored, leave Eddie there in the sewers, all alone, in the dark, dirty, graveyard that would have had Eddie crying at the thought? It didn't make ANY sense to me. If Ben and Mike had the strength to drag a struggling, six foot something Richie away from Eddie, then surely they could have picked Eddie up between them, and got him out of there. If I was Richie, I would have decked the lot of them, Losers or not. And that's where I got pretty darn mad. Eddie didn't deserve that shit. For one, he didn't deserve to die. And two, he didn't deserve to be left down there, to slowly decay. He should have been pulled out by his friends, Richie could have had a moment with him, Eddie could have been given a funeral where his friends, and especially Richie could have said goodbye. Then, they'd have had somewere where they could memorialise him, go back and place flowers and silly things like inhalers and red shorts on his headstone, have a get together and remember him and talk to him, somewhere where Richie could always go to, knowing that Eddie was put to rest properly, and somewhere were he could sit and cry to himself, remembering all the fucking good times they had as kids and how god damn hard he fell for the crazy little shit. But, nah, we'll just leave him in the sewers, under a collapsed house, somewhere the Losers wouldn't want to visit again, somewhere they can't have a funeral, can't put Eddie to rest, somewhere that has too many bad memories and would remind everyone of how exactly Eddie lost his life. So yeah, you can say I'm pretty mad about all of that. I know he's a fictional character, but damn, he didn't deserve that shit. Neither did Richie. And to make it worse, when I watched the first movie afterwards, Eddie was just as freaking hilarious, and ridiculous as his older self. Little Eddie was a force to be reckoned with, he was definitely still my favourite even as a kid. The dude who played him, huge kudos to him. How could you not like tiny Eddie? It also showed me a lot more about how Eddie grew up, by that I mean how his mother really did treat him, and boy did I hate the fact that he died even more! So yeah, I may have gone off on one a tad... I couldn't help myself, Eddie Kaspbrak has now got a big place in the fictional character side of my heart. Just goes to show just how much actors can make an impact on people's lives, and how real they make them seem! So, I've said my part, and it's pretty obvious what I think about the ending to Mr Spaghetti's story. Encase you didn't get how I feel about it, it sucked. Eddie Kaspbrak should have lived. Should have had a second chance, especially with Richie! Not all movies follow the ending of books, so why did this one have to? Why did Ben and Redhead get to have a happily ever after and Richie and Eddie didn't? Why didn't they at least make his death meaningful and give him the send off he deserved? In other words, Eddie deserved better. That should be the motto of the movie. That's me signing off, I'm going to go be mad somewhere else, because I'll never get over this movie. I'm a huge fan now, but man, the ending was as bad as Bill's endings. Oh and uh, fuck you Pennywise. Oh, also, if anyone's going to Wales Comic con this Saturday (you should, because James Ransone will be there, I know right, what are the chances?) come say hi. I'll be dressed in a yellow raincoat and green wellies, holding a red balloon... Don't ask why, I just like the colours. See you later, Losers.

[tinselkj]

Winter Wonderland Who: KJ Apa and Andy Biersack Where: Cincinnati, Ohio When: Christmas Day 2020 Notes: Keneti surprises Andy with the ultimate Christmas gift @bvb-andy-black

KJ had originally wanted to do this on Andy's birthday, but after speaking to his mom, KJ knew she was right, Christmas was the best option. This meant that he could spend his birthday as an engaged man, which only brought a smile to the redheads features. Dressed in a cream knitted sweater and tight black jeans that hugged his ass in all the right ways, he knew his boyfriend would get lost in the way he looked. Over the last five years, Keneti had changed his style to cater to his boyfriends taste, wanting nothing more than to make him drool. "Hey babe, are you ready for our date? Your mom said she will put dinner aside for us, so we don't have to worry about there being nothing left when we get back." Wrapping his arms securely around the love of his life, KJ gave him his now signature smirk. "Have I told you today that you're the most handsome man I've ever met?"

  Andy loved being home for Christmas. He loved being with both KJ and his family and he enjoyed how well his boyfriend got along with his parents. That meant more to him than the red head would ever fully understand. He pulled his sweater over his head. A simple shade of red, a gift from his mother and no matter what she got him he always made sure he wore it, his jeans were black, a color that filled almost his entire wardrobe. He turned around to grab his jacket just as he was met by the warm embrace of his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around him, his hands instantly sliding into the back pocket of his jeans as he held him close. "I'm ready, I just have to grab my jacket and then we can go." his baritone voice rang out in a slightly lower volume as he looked at his boyfriend. He was by far the most attractive man he'd ever laid his eyes on and he knew how to dress to bring Andy to his knees. "I don't think you've told me that lately, but you know I love to hear it."

KJ really only had one reason for wanting to come to Andy's house for the holidays, and that was to talk to both of his parents. He had been in love with this man for the better part of the last seven years, and while it took two years for them to get together, he knew long ago that Andy was the man he intended to spend his life with. Which is what he planned to do, now that he had the blessing of his family. "I've obviously been slacking then." Looking over his outfit with approval, Keneti pressed a loving kiss to his lips, lingering only slightly before pulling away. "So I saw you and Jake finally admitted that he's your mistress. I knew it was only a matter of time." He wasn't lost to the fact that his boyfriend and his bandmate had all but professed their love for each other, but he wasn't worried. He knew where the blondes heart really lay, and that was never a question.

For a few moments, Andy found himself just staring at KJ. Taking his gaze away from him was next to impossible. This was the man that he had shared five years with and there wasn't a single day that he would trade for anything in the world, KJ really did hold his heart in the palm of his hand. "It's okay, you can make up for it." He smiled, letting his smirk pull across his lips which only followed a laugh at the words his boyfriend spoke. "Oh my god! You were in my phone, you little shit." He shook his head as he lightly kissed his lips once more before pulling away and grabbing his jacket. It was simple, black with fur around the hood. He slipped it on his shoulders as he turned to look at KJ. "Come on! let's go!" he spoke with excitement as he made his way to the door, pulling his hat over his head.

Raising a brow at his boyfriend once he finally pulled away, the younger man couldn't help but shake his head in return. "You say that like you don't go through my phone all the time. There's a reason you and I put each other's fingerprints in each other's phones. We have no secrets." He really didn't care that the two friends flirt, he never saw Jake as a threat to his relationship. "As you wish my love. " Keneti spoke as he laced his fingers through his boyfriends after sliding his arms into the puffy jacket.

Andy was quick to take KJs hand and pull him along with him outside. "I don't mind that you go through my phone, I have nothing to hide." He spoke as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. The snow covered the ground beneath his feet, it was one of the things he loved about being in Ohio for the holiday, it never failed to give him a white Christmas and he got to share it with his boyfriend. "Tonight is going to be great, I can just feel it." He spoke with a smile, he was so fully of holiday cheer, nothing could bring him down. Following the blonde outside into the cold, KJ silently lifted his boyfriends arm, wrapping it around his shoulders before wrapping his own around his boyfriend's waist. "It wasn't that I was going through your phone, I was going to do a live on your Instagram and his text was already pulled open when I unlocked it." Stepping out as his feet crunched into the soft blanket of snow. Being from New Zealand,  KJ missed the warm weather of his homeland. "Well I sure hope it is! I put a lot of work into this date. I wanted everything to be perfect for you."

He moved his arm to pull his boyfriend closer to his side, holding onto him tightly as the two of them made their way down the street. "I don't mind that you had my phone, I think the fans would have a heart attack if you stopped streaming on my Instagram." He laughed as he turned his head just a bit to kiss the side of KJs head. "Baby, you're pretty much recreating our first date, it's already perfect."

"I think I've been driving them crazy. I've been making up these crazy stories, and just stopping the stream right when I'm about to tell everyone what happened in the end. I think your fans are going to kill me one day with all of the shit I pull." Keneti laughed taking notice that he was starting to catch onto what he had planned for them. "Well that's because I am recreating our first date. I have skates in my car...so we are going to the lake to ice skate. It was frozen solid when I went to go check it out, so it was perfect." Little did his boyfriend know that tonight was going to be the best Christmas of his life after what he had planned for him.

"They won't kill you, they know how much I love you." He spoke as he walked over to KJ's car, his hand coming out as he opened the door for his boyfriend. "I love that you thought you could keep it a secret. I heard you tell my mom that we were going, you don't really have an inside voice." He laughed softly before he looked at him. "I'm driving." He smirked as he quickly slid into the drivers seat and pulled his seatbelt across.

"Do they love me as much as I love you? Because if they do...that's a hell of a lot of love." Just being in this man's arms was like the whole world around him became clearer. He loved him with all of his heart, and despite everything they had been through over the years, KJ would never trade it for anything. "Hey, it's not my fault you have this uncanny ability to hear things unlike normal people. I swear to god--sometimes I think you're actually Superman and you're just trying to use Batman as a cover or something. Is that what's going on here, Andy? Are you really a Kryptonian?" KJ asked as he settled into the passenger seat, more than happy to let the other man drive.

"No one loves me as much as you do baby." He smiled as he looked out the window for a moment. Every Christmas he spent with KJ just got better and better, this was his life and he was happier than ever. His heart almost always felt like it was going to explode with how much he loved his boyfriends. When the words came out of his mouth, Andy looked over to him. "be lucky that I don't throw you out of the car and make you walk for that comment." He spoke as he started the car and pulled away from the house, making his way towards the lake. "Blasphemy."

"Just like no one could ever love me as much as you do my love." KJ wasn't sure what it was about Andy, but the man sitting next to him made him want to be a better person. He made him want to take life a bit more serious, despite how he acts around his friends. "I'm calling you my personal Superman from now on. He's an alien, you're an alien...it just fits." Keneti joked as he reached over, lacing his fingers with his other half's, all the while watching as snow covered trees passed by as the car whized down the familiar street.

Andy pulled his gaze away from the road for a moment to look down at KJs hand in his. "You really want to hold my hand right now after you just insulted me by calling me Superman? It's like you don't even know me." He spoke as he tightened his hold on KJs hand the moment their fingers laced together. He would never truly be upset with his boyfriend over something like that but there was no harm in a little playful banter. He moved his gaze to look back out the window, keeping his gaze on the road ahead of him.

"I always want to hold your hand. We could be having the worst fight of our relationship, and I would still hold your hand. It's my way of showing you that no matter how mad I may be, I still love you." And those words couldn't ring much truer. He was so in love with this man, that nothing he could ever do would make him love him any less. He could find out that he had run off with Jake, and he would still crave this man. "Plus this just means I get to be your Lois Lane. I think I could pull that off quite well, don't you think?"

"i prefer you holding my hand when we fight, it keeps me grounded, keeps me focused and I don't get lost in my anger." He spoke and it was true. KJ had a way of calming Andy down when he was angry and there was no one in his life before him that could do that. It was something that Andy thought wasn't even possible but his boyfriend showed him that he was wrong. "Would you stop with the Superman talk, I'm literally the voice of Batman."

"And if that doesn't work, I know I can always kiss you to calm you down and help you control your anger. It hasn't failed me yet, so that's promising." Keneti finally spoke as he turned to face his boyfriend instead of gazing out the window. "And they obviously picked the wrong hero for you. What would you do if I started getting you nothing but Superman gifts for every major holiday and birthdays? We could even have a Superman wedding when that day eventually comes. I think it would be so romantic!"

Andy pulled the car over and turned it off as he looked over to KJ. "You make one more reference about Superman and you are walking the rest of the way to the lake I don't care if you freeze your balls off." he spoke in that deep baritone voice, his gaze never leaving his boyfriends.

KJ hadn't expected the man to pull the car over at his comments, but he really should have. He knew how passionate he was about Batman, and here he was, insulting him by even suggesting that he could be anyone else. That didn't stop him from continuing though. He was on a roll, and when he got started on something, there was no stopping him until he finally lost it. Reaching over and cupping his boyfriends face, KJ closed the distance, kissing his lips with such passion, that he knew Andy would be at a loss for words. "Whatever you say Superboy." Pulling away, the redhead burst into a fit of laughter, arms enclosing his stomach as laughter echoed throughout the car. "I love you baby, don't be mad at me."

Right before Andy could say anything, KJ's lips were on his and he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He always had that affect on him. His eyes fell closed as he kissed him back with just as much passion and if they didn't have a date to keep, he would probably ravish him right then and there in the car. " I hate you.." He whispered as he kept his eyes closed, trying so hard to regain his thoughts. "I should really make you fuckin' walk." He spoke as he started the car again and pulled back out onto the road.

Smirking into the kiss, KJ couldn't help the way his heart raced in his chest at being so close to the man he got to call his boyfriend. "I love you too, my dark knight." Keneti whispered as he pressed one final kiss to the corner of his mouth, wanting them to get to their destination before the sun could go down. He wanted his gift to happen as the sun was setting, and he knew he only had a few hours before that happened. "We both know you wouldn't actually make me walk. You care far to much about me to ever do that. Though I do kind of deserve it."

Andy shifted his gaze to look over to KJ when he heard him stammer. "I love you too." He spoke as he squeezed his hand, his way of trying to get the other to relax, he didn't understand why he was so nervous. It wasn't like the two of them had never been on a date in the five years they'd been together. He pulled the car over and turned it off, his gaze drifting out the window to look at the frozen lake that was in front of them. "I forgot how beautiful this place was... it was on that lake where we made our relationship official.." He knew that look, he knew Andy was onto him and how nervous he was. He wanted this to be a surprise, and he couldn't do that if Andy started asking questions, which was bound to happen if he didn't pull himself together. "Do you remember how I fell down near the middle, and ended up bringing you down with me? We just laid there for a good five minutes just laughing with each other..which only made me fall for you even more because I love your deep baritone laugh. I still can't believe I had the courage to kiss you while we lay there. It was the best day of my life."

Andy looked at him when he spoke, every memory was still fresh in his mind. That was a day he knew he would never forget. "Oh god." He laughed and shook his head. "You took me down hard I thought I'd broken my wrist when you pulled me down. When you kissed me.. that was when I asked you to be mine." He spoke as he leaned over to lightly kiss his lips. "Come on baby." he smiled as he pulled back to step out of the car. He felt bad for taking his boyfriend down with him, and his sprained wrist that resulted in it. "It was instinct to pull you down with me. Thankfully I pulled you down on top of me though. If you would of hit the ice like I did, you would of broke something for sure." He could remember the day like it was yesterday. He could remember the huge smile that spread across his face when he asked him to be his, it was the same smile that was plastered on his features right this second at him calling him baby. It was such a simple word, and yet it did things to him that he just couldn't explain. Quickly unbuckling, KJ reached into the back seat, grabbing both sets of ice skates before following after Andy. "Here, babe. You can't get very far without these."

He took just a moment to adjust his jacket, pulling the hood over his head as he walked around to KJs side of the car. Reaching out, he took the ice skates from him. "This is going to be fun." He spoke as he moved to sit down on the ground. He didn't care that he was sitting in the snow, he was a native to Ohio and spent most of his time in Canada with KJ so the cold didn't seem to bother him anymore. He pulled his shoes off, replacing them with the skates before he slowly stood up and tossed his shoes into the car. "Think you can keep your balance this time?"

Pulling his own shoes off as he leaned against the side of the car, KJ easily laced up the skates, unwilling to admit to his boyfriend that him and his dad had spent most of the day today teaching Keneti how to skate on his own. He was still a little shaky on his feet, but he was able to hold his own now.  "Didn't you know? I'm a natural now!" The redhead teased over confidently, tossing his own shoes into the car before following after Andy, catching his hand in his as he laced their fingers yet again. "You know--I find it endearing that we always have to be holding hands. It doesn't matter what we are doing, but we have to be touching in some shape or form. I just love it."

By the time KJ was done putting on his skates, Andy was already making his way onto the ice. He spent most of his life on ice skates, and this lake had become a second home to him since they'd gotten together. He spent more time here than most people knew he did. he smiled when KJ took his hand and he was quick to give it a squeeze. "I think it's how I know you're real and this isn't some crazy dream I'm having, and also because I have this strange fear that you're going to disappear if I'm not touching you."

"Well believe me when I say, I'm not going anywhere." Pushing his free hand into his pocket, KJ wrapped his fingers around the little black box that had been burning a hole in his pocket since he had put it in there before the pair had left the house. KJ knew he had a lot of trauma in his life, and he would give anything to be able to take that pain away, but he knew that's what made his boyfriend who he was today. So instead, he tried to make it a point to give him everything he could ever need emotionally in their relationship. "I'm sorry if I take us down again." KJ laughed as he took a slightly shaky step onto the ice, trying to remember to glide his feet like Andy's dad told him to do.

"Come here." Andy spoke as he stepped out onto the ice, turning around so he was facing KJ, he held his free hand out to take both of his. "I won't let you fall, I promise." He smiled as he started to skate backwards, keeping a light hold on his boyfriends hands. This was the probably the happiest moment of his life. Here they were on Christmas, skating on the very lake where it all started, he was in heaven and he would give anything to never lose this moment.

Releasing the box back into the depths of his pocket, KJ took the outstretched hand as he focused on staying balanced. "I trust you, babe. I know you won't let me fall." He would trust Andy with his life. He knew he would never let anything happen to him, and that included falling. "I think I'm okay now. Come on--let's skate around for a while." KJ offered as he let go of both of his boyfriends hands, wanting to watch his show off a bit as he made himself comfortable on the ice.

Andy was almost in a panic when his boyfriend released both of his hands. The last time he checked, he wasn't the greatest on the ice but his opinion was changed quick as he watched his boyfriend closer. "You've practiced, oh you sneaky little fucker." He laughed that deep baritone laugh as he quickly grabbed onto KJ's hand, lacing their fingers together as he pulled him along with him.

"Yeah...I kind of asked your dad to give me lessons this morning. I wanted it to be a surprise that you didn't have to worry about me this time. That we could just have fun!" And it was the truth. He had asked his dad for help, but that wasn't the reason the pair had disappeared into the studio. No, he had wanted to ask for his permission to marry his son, something he had never been so scared of asking in his life. "I'm not as great of a skater as you are, but I can at least move without falling now." KJ smiled as he laced their fingers together yet again.

"I knew there was a reason you and my dad kept sneaking away." He spoke as he pulled KJ with him carefully towards the other side of the lake. Just the fact that he could even keep up with him, that was amazing, Andy didn't feel like he had to slow down for him, though he was keeping a slow pace anyway. "The fact that you learned for me... to be able to do this with me today. I love you so much."

Giving a small laugh at the statement, Keneti nodded his head. "Yeah, it was very patient with me. I really wanted today to be perfect, and that included me being able to hold my own with you out here. I also have hot chocolate in the car, so when we get cold, we will be able to warm up a little bit." As the pair skated around for a while, KJ noticed the sun slowly starting to go down as the sky turned all shades of pinks and purples. He knew how he wanted to do this, and he knew if he didn't do it now, he wasn't going to at all. Turning his skate at just the right angle, KJ wobbled, causing him to fall, only to be caught by Andy to the point that he only made it to his knees as Andy stood in front of him. "I was doing so well too.." KJ spoke as he switched to one knee. "Do you mind helping me up?" KJ asked as his right hand went back into his pocket, fingers tightly gripping the box as he held out the other hand, knowing he wouldn't let Andy pull him up just yet.

Andy gasped out the moment KJ fell. He was so in love with this man that even the idea of him getting hurt scared the hell out of him. once he grabbed him, Andy looked down at him. "Careful. are you okay baby?" He spoke with a concerned tone as he reached his hand out to take hold of KJ's he'd turned his body slightly to keep his own balance as he held onto his hand. "Come on, you can try again." he spoke as he tightened his hold on his hand help pull him up.

Taking his hand into his, KJ took a deep breath, pulling slightly as a way to resist his attempt to pull him up. "Yeah, I'm fine. You know....I think this is the exact same spot I fell in the first time you and I came here." KJ laughed as he stroked the back of his boyfriend's hand with his thumb. "You know...I would be so lost without you. You've taught me so much about love over the past seven years. Seeing what you went through with your ex--seeing how heartbroken you were when you finally found the courage to leave...that broke my heart. I know I never told you this, and I realize at the time, you and I were only friends, but I vowed to never let you get hurt like that again. I promised myself that I would protect not only you, but your heart as well. Which I like to think I've done a very good job at doing. I know I'm not the easiest person to love. I'm rash, over confident, annoyingly hyper and when you get Charles, Cole and I into the same room...well I become a whole other person. It takes a special kind of person to love me the way you do, and you really do love me with all your heart. There is one thing I know without a shadow of a doubt, and that's I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to continue to make you happy, and If you'd let me...I'd like to take the next step. Andrew Dennis Biersack...will you do me the honor of being my husband? Will you marry me?" Keneti asked, hand shaking as he pulled the box out, letting go of Andy's hand as he opened the box with a slight squeak of the hinge of the lid as it opened, revealing the dark metal of the ring--diamonds sparkling in the setting sun as he held the box up for his boyfriend to see, nervous to hear what his answer could possibly be now that he had stopped talking.

Andy was a bit confused when KJ pulled and resisted the help getting to his feet, and the confusion only set in more when he started talking to him, but it was only a few seconds before he realized what was happening. KJ was down on one knee, he was pouring his heart out to him and the tone of his voice was laced with nervousness. This was it, this was the moment he was going to ask the question and Andy didn't know how to react to it. He stared at him, his jaw just slightly dropping when it all finally sank it and it wasn't until he heard the question that it made it all real. He asked him to be his husband and suddenly Andy found himself in a battle between his brain and his mouth as he tried to form words but nothing came out. Instead, the signals got crossed and tears streams down his cheek as he quickly lifted his hand to cover his mouth. "Are you serious?" He questioned as he looked down at him, and when that box came open, that was when he was certain that it was all for real. "Yes! Yeah, fuckin' yes I'll marry you."

As soon as the word 'Yes' passed his lips, KJ immediately stood to his full height, only wobbling once before he pulled his now fiancé into his arms, clinging to the man as tears fell from his own eyes as he finally buried his face into the crook of his neck. Taking in everything that was Andy in that moment. "I love you, baby." KJ spoke before finally pulling away, taking the ring out of the box, only to hold it up slightly to show Andy what was engraved on the inside of the ring. "Now you will forever be my Dark Knight." Keneti smiled once the blonde saw the little batman logo etched into the inside of the ring. Taking his fiancé's left hand into his, KJ slid the ring onto his ring finger before bringing that hand up to his lips, kissing his knuckles softly. "I love you so fuckin much, Andrew."

For a small moment, Andy felt like he was going to pass out. He'd waited so long for this moment and he was sure that it was going to come down to him being the one to ask, and he was ready for that, but his now fiancé took him completely by surprise. he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly as he tried to get his own tears to stop falling. "I love you too." he replied as he shifted his gaze to watch KJ's every move. The fact that he went as far as to get the Batman logo engraved on the inside showed that he knew Andy and he took his time preparing for this, Andy would have to give his a compliment later on how long he kept it a secret from him. "I was not expecting this, Keneti.. not even for a moment." He spoke as he pulled his hand back only to look at the ring. "I love it... and I love you." He spoke as he reached out to take his hands in his. "You have made this the best day of my life and the greatest Christmas I've ever had. I'll never forget this moment." he added as he leaned forward to press his lips to his fiancés, kissing him softly.