razubal

[gettiregretti]

Quietly releasing the last of my multipacks from Megacon here! Three prints and a sticker of the Best Boys. You can follow the link or search for FunfettiGetti Shopify 💜💛

[bee-a-ts]

this is such a niche, usa-based rant but I work at a credit union and I keep encountering people who have taken out a loan, have issues with what they purchased with that loan (in my case, usually solar panels), then decide they will not be paying the loan back because the product they purchased doesn't work. and it's like

I get it!! capitalism is hell and our financial landscape is broken!!! unfortunately you borrowing money from the bank has nothing to do with what you purchased not working and that does suck but you still have to pay your loan!!

i'm talking to these people who are six months past due not because they can't pay but bc they're mad at the solar company and i'm trying to explain if they don't make payments, the loan will have to be charged off and sent to collections and legal action will be taken at that time and they're like fine! take me to court! my product doesn't work! and I am on my knees begging to work with them because I know they have no legal standing and they are about to be ~very unhappy~ when they lose that court case because borrowing money has nothing to do with how you spent that money!!!!!

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Head Canons:

Your Loyal Servant

Yandere Villainess/ Maid x Isekai Princess Fem Reader

TW: obsession, reader is trapped in the girl love/ GL book, DARK CONTENT, horror, yandere themes, cannibalism (reader consumes blood), SOMNIAPHILIA/ NONCON (nipple play), creepy behavior, abuse of power, betrayal, sapphic yearning, etc.

Della was once a princess of the shadow kingdom before she became your servant. A princess with dreams of ruling her kingdom until your kingdom invaded and decimated her home when she was eight. Your family’s knights easily seized her throne since her father had been greedy and tried to conquer your kingdom first. She could never forget the fire and death she saw that day… the day she was dragged up by her black locks and thrown into a cage on a cart to be sold off as a slave. The day her emotions died and left her an empty vessel.

Yet you were her saving grace. You were at the auction that day and you insisted to your butler that you had to buy her. “She’s my age! She can’t possibly become a slave, she’ll die!”

At first, Della was weary of you. Her small body curled up in her cage as she cowered in a fetal position. Did you purchase her to satiate some sort of sick sadistic tendency of yours? To rub in your family’s victory in her face? Della despised you… until you innocently smiled at her. Your hand outstretched to her dirty ones when your purchase was a success. “My name is (your name), what’s yours?”

And despite her current status of being a commoner, you never treated Della like one. You let her take baths with you and held her hand. You always requested her to lay beside you at night for a ‘sleepover.’ Della thought you were strange.

You often invited her for walks in your garden with you and shared your woes with her. Sometimes you’d even sneak her sweets from the tea parties you had to attend. If Della didn’t know any better, she’d say the two of you were friends. Best friends. Yet she never saw you as such. Your conversations were typically one sided.

“Della, I want you to be by my side until I’m old. Can you do that?” You were twelve when you made that request to her. Your maid smiled softly at you.

“Of course, mistress.” You puffed out your cheeks and pouted at her.

“It’s (your name)! You don’t have to be so formal with me all the time. Aren’t we friends?” Della just hummed which only made you sigh. All these years together and Della was still as stiff as a board. It would take years to tear down the walls around Della’s heart despite your attempts to be close to her… it made you terribly sad that you couldn’t tell Della your true secret. The secret that you were from another world trapped in the body of the original heroine, but you doubted she’d believe you. After all, you made it your goal to not die at the hands of this GL novel’s ice cold villainess. You did your absolute best not to let Della fall into depravity and turn to dark magic like she was supposed to in this doomed Yuri novel. You were on a mission to insure her happiness! At least not until you were ready to free her from servitude once you were married off with a nice sum of money. You didn’t want her to suffer…“I will always have your best interest in mind, Della. I just wished you’d see that…”

Even when the two of you grew older, you still insisted on spending time with Della. It often gave the poor maid a headache but she never complained. You were her mistress no matter how much she wanted to ring your pretty little neck with her hands. No matter how much your kindness secretly touched her heart. She was your loyal servant.

Della often found her cheeks flushed when the two of you became teenagers. She couldn’t believe you’d still try to get her to bathe you or lay beside you in bed. You two were practically adults now! That was indecent! Had you no shame as a lady?! Yet another thought couldn’t help but crawl into the back of Della’s mind. Was there a possibility you were attracted to her? The thought didn’t entirely bother Della. Most of the women in the empire were with other women so it wouldn’t be strange… right?

You often rained down compliments on Della but she hardly responded to them. She was still taciturn and stoic. You often felt as if you were conversing with a rock rather than your self-appointed ‘best friend.’ It made you feel even more lonely as the years went on. Were you doing this all for naught? Would Della still murder you like she would in the book? You hoped not! You still haven’t met your favorite character! The female lead! Except you weren’t the original, naive female lead that would be offed by the villainess…

As the two of you approached adulthood, you promoted her to head maid. Yet she still remained close to your side. You no longer asked her to bathe you or asked for ‘sleepovers,’ you were more lady like now. You also ceased with your compliments to her and her work, a small fact that bothered Della a bit. Didn’t you like her still? Why were you being so different?

Meanwhile you were antsy. The ball was coming up and you’d soon meet the female lead! She was a holy knight and she’d be the one to save the empire from the forces of evil… she was so cool and muscular! A butch from your sapphic dreams! You felt yourself internally fan girl out of excitement. Yet you didn’t want to express that to Della. No, you’d still remain civil with your maid since she didn’t seem to care much for your companionship…

Della brushed your hair as you sat on your stool, your hands in your lap as you hummed a soft tune to yourself.

And that’s when you dropped a bomb on Della. “I really enjoyed Stephanie’s cooking yesterday. Could you ask her to make me food again?” Stephanie? The new cook? What was so great about her cooking that made you praise her? Della was the one who doted on you. Della was the one who always took care of you.

“Ouch!” You jumped when Della accidentally tugged on your hair. “Della, that hurt-“ Your heart stopped in your chest when you glanced up at the look on Della’s face. Her eyes held a murderous glint in them which made you shudder. Oh god… was she going to hurt you?

Della snapped out of it the instant she heard your voice, she quickly bent down to make sure you were okay, but you swatted her hands away. “I’m sorry, Della… I can finish getting ready by myself.”

Della felt her world crash around her. She hadn’t meant to pull your hair… don’t kick her out. Please don’t do this… yet she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She instead, bit her lips and bowed her head to you. She then rushed out of your room in haste. It wasn’t until Della rounded the corner of the hall that one of the other maids pointed out that her lips were bleeding.

Della absentmindedly touched her lips and frowned. Never had she been so emotional… yet all these feelings were brought out by you. Her princess… her princess that she wanted to serve forever.

“Where is Stephanie?” Della softly asked the maid who quirked a brow. The maid told Della the location of the cook in a confused tone, “oh, she’s in the kitchen. Why?” Della just gave the maid a smile. “I just have a message for her is all.”

Yes… she was the head maid so she could use that to her advantage. She’d get the ginger bitch fired. You should only compliment Della. No one else mattered.

You were surprised when a plate was placed in front of you by Della. This wasn’t Stephanie’s cooking… this looked like Della’s. “Oh? What’s this?”

“Your favorite.” Della replied in her usual stiff tone. The maid poured you a cup of your favorite tea as well. Della wasn’t wrong but you couldn’t help but feel a bit suspicious of her. Where was Stephanie? Oh well… you’d eat your meal.

Della’s green eyes studied you as she watched you eat the meal without complaint. Your face scrunched up when the meat had a bit of a strong iron taste to it, but you kept eating. Della played with the bloody bandages on her fingers as her smile grew wide. She hoped you liked the way she tasted. What better way to stay with you forever than to give you some of her blood?

When you retired for the night, Della snuck into your room to lay beside you. Her olive hands snuck under your dress to cup your chest. Her fingers pinched your nipples to see your cute reactions. She hadn’t realized how sensitive you were… did you need her to take care of your body’s needs? She’d do it. Della would do anything you asked of her… just don’t throw her away. Della pushed your dress up as she licked her lips at the sight of your bare body. What a dirty girl you were to not wear undergarments… perhaps she’d teach you a thing or two about being indecent?

You woke up the next day with sore nipples. They were a bit swollen and red and you couldn’t figure out why. You nearly cried when you accidentally touched one. Did you have an allergic reaction to your meal yesterday? No… this was just so odd.

Della dutifully entered your room and began to help you get dressed. Her green eyes filled with satisfaction from her handiwork on your nipples. You seemed so confused… like a little lamb. Della thought it was so cute.

Della began to order the other maids to work far away from you. She needed to get you to alone so she could express her feelings for you properly… so none of the other servants knew she was going to fuck you. She didn’t want any rumors to spread about her darling princess! Della would be a horrible maid if she did that…

You were a bit shocked with how touchy Della was throughout the week. She was stuck to you like a shadow now. And you had yet to see another servant other than Della attend to your needs. You found it so odd…

“Della? Where are all my personal maids?” You asked as you sat on your stool. Della scowled for a brief second before she recovered to her usual icy exterior.

“You only need me, my princess. They’re all inferior.” You froze and turned your body around to look at your maid.

“Pardon?” You’re shocked when Della’s hands grab your face. “D-Della-“

Della presses her lips to yours in a passionate kiss. Her large chest pressed against yours as she pushed you against your vanity. You’re absolutely mind boggled at this development. What was happening?! You thought Della hated you.

“Princess… my princess.” Della whispered against your lips as she reached a hand to undo her bun. Her black curls now cascaded down her back like a cape. “I’m your forever servant and only I can properly fulfill your needs. And I mean all of your needs.”

You gasped when she yanked your legs up onto her shoulders. Your eyes widened in confusion until your face flushed in realization. Della didn’t hate you… Della was obsessed with you.

“So let me please you properly, princess. I swear I won’t disappoint you.”

[adreamfromnevermore]

DC head canons whil tipsy, Batcats love language is Bruce buying her increasingly expensive things, art, jewelry, you name it, she wants it? He'll buy it.

Except he knows that half the thrill for her is the B & E. Without a little breaking and entering how is she supposed to feel like she earned it???

So Bruce of course creates the solution, and sets it up where she gets to steal it instead. They're are always elaborate security systems, things he knows will test her. Sometimes in the less traveled wing of Wayne Manor itself, a show of trust. Leading her back to his home and waiting to see if he'll wake up to a ping on his security system and a note where a beautiful diamond necklace was. Other times he'll take over entire wings of the Gotham museums and galleries. Tailored specifically to Silena's tastes so that she'll have the pick of the litter and he can either keep the rest or auction them off for charity.

He narrowly avoids insurance scams half the time by playing up the Brucie act. People are horrified that he's just been robbed blind, there are art enthusiasts all across the globe trying to walk him through the insurance claims while he's just trying to to wave it off. The art galleries and museums are setting up full scale meetings, insurance people included with PowerPoint presentations of every step to filing the insurance claim and Bruce is sweating in his armani trying to laugh off how much work it is, and really he'll get to it eventually (read never)

There's a 50/50 chance it winds up in his own manor eventually, he's not getting arrested for Insurance Fraud. It'll interrupt the batmanning

[seat-safety-switch]

Couple weeks ago, I was watching the evening news when a commercial came on. Usually, I skip those suckers. Change channels. Couldn't do that this time, though, because the television I was watching was in my neighbour's living room. And although the binoculars I was using to look into said living room are exceptionally high-tech, they do not contain a television remote. Always leaving something on the table for the 2.0 version, those fucking scam artists.

Here's what the commercial was: a prayer line. You could dial in and pay nine cents a minute to have a group of folks working in a call centre pray for you. The handsome-yet-celibate dude wearing an insanely expensive suit droned on about something I couldn't hear, but the message was obvious. If I got them to get their god to do my bidding, then maybe I'd be able to win at a salvage auction for once.

The only higher power I believe in is the universe's ability to put its thumb directly on me as soon as I start to get a little smug, almost as if my hubris leads inevitably to a moderately funny downfall. Couldn't hurt to bring in another guy and make them fight.

Thing is, I don't have a phone. Sure, I have a smartphone, everyone does, but it can't make phone calls. Or send data. Or light up more than about half the screen. So I had to help myself to one of the public-use phones at the police station, pretending that I was calling home to my wife to come bring my insurance card. I think the precinct desk clerk was starting to get suspicious around hour two, but she went on break shortly after that and was replaced by someone who I could repeat the same bullshit story to. Four hours in total of god-bothering, I figured, would at least score me a low-mileage Intrepid with subframe damage.

Friends, it did not work. Well, it kind of worked. I ended up with a recent Mercedes luxobarge that was running perfectly well, had low kilometres on the clock, and was immaculate inside and out. Exactly the opposite of what I was looking for. Repulsed, I immediately put it back up for auction and got several thousand worthless dollars of profit, instead of a cool shitbox. That's what you get for trying to mess with the fates.

[majimasleftasscheek]

alright since RGG seems bent on putting merch behind things like UFO catcher shit, here's my crappy how to use a proxy guide lol

gonna be using buyee as an example but most proxies are more or less the same so it's your choice on what to use. I look at fee prices and customer service reviews to decide on my proxies. sorry if it's wordy! but I think I cover the most important bits for general use.

so on the landing page you got all the goobly gook but what you'll mainly be looking at is the stuff in the red box. all the shops are listed there - the ones I mainly use are yahoo! japan auctions and mercari. the other shops are more like regular shopping sites. pretty much all proxies use the same sites as they're just a directory for wherever you wanna shop.

auctions are self explanatory - you bid on things till the time runs out or some auctions offer an immediate buyout price.

mercari is largely a secondhand seller marketplace but you can find companies on there as well.

when I search for stuff, I prefer putting in the actual terms for better accuracy over auto translating. so here I put in ryu ga gotoku (龍が如く). on buyee, I have rgg and dead souls as saved searches so I can just click on them to easily autofill the search bar which is handy.

items will populate and you'll see prices in yen and for me, usd. these are the *listing prices, not the *final price. since I'm using a proxy, there will be additional fees per item I get. also, the currency exchange rate occasionally changes so if something goes up or down in price, that be why.

💥 pls also note prohibited items that proxies cannot ship internationally such as items with flammable fluid which can include perfumes, lighters, etc. other things like alcohol, which may be okay for like 99% of countries is not okay, for example, in the US lol unless you go thru customs paperwork n shit. *ebay is usually where you want to go for prohibited items as those sellers *will go thru the process of filing the proper forms to send such items.

💥 pls be aware of scalpers! I tend to browse multiple pages and multiple listings of the same item to see what the prices typically fall around. if it looks too cheap, be aware of an item's description. if it looks too expensive, it probably is.

let's use this bad boy as an example. the main things you wanna look at on any item is the condition and the photos to be *sure* you are happy with what you're getting. if you see the same photos across listings, be a lil wary. you can see estimated shipping times and the seller's general ratings. always read item explanations if there is one in case the seller makes any notes of defects or other things.

you can add to shopping cart to keep browsing or you can go to the order page to immediately purchase.

so proxies typically have different plans you can choose when you buy items and that adds towards the fees. these can include inspections, insurance, etc of items when they arrive at the proxy warehouse (see your proxy's FAQ for plan descriptions). it's up to you what you deem worth choosing, if at all. for most things, I just go with whatever costs me 0 lol - especially if it's a cheaper item that I really don't feel needs to be inspected or insured, like a plushie or keychain. regardless of plan, you'll have to pay some proxy service fee (here the "buyee service fee"). in the top right, you'll see the total cost of everything. once you're happy, then you pick your form of payment. I usually go with paypal.

you can go to your page and see typical stuff like orders, settings, and the like. there's often specific tabs for certain sites like auctions so you can go there for anything you purchase in that way. the cart is anything you've added but haven't bought.

the orders tab is for anything bought and you may see the status of its shipping to the proxy warehouse which I'll get to in the next bit.

package information is everything that has arrived to the warehouse so here you can see I have 12 items currently waiting to be shipped to me.

user information, pretty basic but do MAKE SURE your addresses and things are 100% correct. it would really suck nuts if you pay out the ass for international shipping and it gets sent to the wrong place.

on the orders tab, you can see the status of the item. it contains important bits like date ordered and order # (I've blotted out mine). order received is *you* paying for the order. order completed is *buyee* paying for the order. shipped means the seller has shipped to buyee's warehouse address and arrived at warehouse is self explanatory.

*sometimes, a seller may cancel an order after you've paid for it and you will be refunded. this is often due to the seller unable to actually send the item for whatever reason or they don't sell to proxies. nothing you can really do about it but I've only had it happen a couple of times in dozens of purchases.

back to the package information tab, here you can see all the packages that have arrived at the warehouse waiting for shipment. proxies will store packages for free for a certain number of days - buyee being 30 while I've seen other go to 45 days, etc. after that time is up, you will be charged for storage per day so be aware of that!

here you can consolidate packages which means putting everything into one shipment instead of going individually. you can see estimated costs of shipping per item which, if you did each item individually, that would be mad expensive. when you consolidate, things can still be pretty pricey but imo better to pay idk 150 bucks in shipping for 10 items instead of 300 bucks for all 10 individually.

💥 shipping is calculated by weight so be aware of that when you buy items - however baseline costs will be the same for lighter items regardless of how much they weigh. baseline costs for me is around 15-30 bucks regardless of what I get. for example, I have a teeny tiny keychain in storage and several figures. the shipping for that keychain is the same cost as the figures so it's only sensible to lump them into one package cuz I ain't paying out the ass to ship 1 keychain lol.

you are free to consolidate what you want and how. if you wanna consolidate some packages to ship now and you wanna do others later, you are free to. just keep in mind your budget and storage time!

proxies also offer services to protectively wrap your packages. if you're concerned about damage, then choose that option when you consolidate. I don't often do it unless what I'm buying can break otherwise all my packages have arrived relatively unharmed.

💥 proxies will consolidate things AS IS so if you have a buncha figures that don't have their boxes, the proxy will put them in a shipping box just as they are, however they received them from the seller. so if the seller only bubble wrapped the figure, it will be sent to you just like that, no additional protection unless you pay for that option.

*consolidation can take some days and you'll be informed when items are ready to ship. at that point, you pay the shipping and that's it! you can choose what type of shipping you wanna go with (such as DHL, EMS, sea mail (if it's available), etc at differing prices and arrival times. pick what's best for you. *note, sea mail is often the cheapest but the slowest (like several months arrival time) and not available to every country (plus you'd want protective packaging for this just in case cuz boat rides be bumpy)

here are some examples of shipping costs for a single one of my items. some of these options will disappear when I consolidate cuz shipping a lil figure is very different from shipping a larger box full of multiple things.

💥 be sure to read EVERYTHING and make sure you know what options you're choosing to make sure it fits your budget and expectations of arrival time.

one more thing proxies can do is order from a number of sites that aren't on the main page. for buyee, you want to go to the other sites information tab and then click "purchase request for other sites."

here you can input the information of whatever site you want to see if the proxy can purchase it for you. this is how I buy things on ebten like the jpn only preorders. if the proxy cannot buy the requested item, they'll let you know.

if they can go thru with the order, they will confirm your payment and it goes thru the same process as any other order.

[ausetkmt]

Jews Selling Blacks - The Nation of Islam

Jews Selling Blacks - The Nation of Islam

The title* says it all. Included are 140 pages of ads reproduced from American newspapers of the slavery era. There are Jews selling Blacks as individuals, in gangs, and as families. Jewish community leaders—and even rabbis—offer to buy and sell Black human beings without any moral compunction.

When Blacks tried to escape, Jewish slave owners used the newspapers to track them down. Jews acting as slave auctioneers, slave shippers, and insurers of enslaved Blacks also placed ads. Jews bought and sold whole plantations—slaves and all—and they marketed slaves who ranged in age from infants to the elderly.

In addition, Jewish merchants arranged bank financing for the purchasers of Black men, women, and children—Black slaves on layaway.

144 Pages • First Edition, Second Printing 2010

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

Edminister Engler is a recent widower who has now been diagnosed with cancer; he doesn't have health coverage and is too sick to work, so is raising funds to help find an oncologist and seek treatment. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

secondalto was in a car accident in February that totaled her car, and she missed work through the end of the school year; insurance was slow to pay out and she didn't get another car (necessary for her job) until last month. Due to the staggered nature of her work, she is facing car and insurance payments, plus gas and other bills, that she won't be able to pay before they are due. She is raising funds for bills and is also offering fic beta services and handicrafts in return for donations; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

songspinner9 linked to a fundraiser for Wren, a young, chronically ill person trying to stay active in their community and studying for a Library Science degree. Insurance will not cover the new wheelchair they need to achieve their goals, so they are fundraising for the wheelchair and power assist; you can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for meowdistract/hauntedrph, a friend with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, which leaves her with limited mobility and weakness. She's offering commissions and raising funds via donation to help pay off debt and treat herself a little for her 30th birthday tomorrow. You can read more, reblog, and find giving/commission information here and there are also links to wishlists and donation options here.

maryellencarter is homeless and has recently moved cross-country to be closer to friends, and has finally been placed in a shelter; they are fundraising to keep their car insurance so they can travel to aid appointments and try to find a more permanent housing solution. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Beth linked to First Draft Detroit, a Detroit metro region nonprofit intended to replace NaNoWriMo; they're holding their first fundraiser on October 5th. If you are local to Detroit you can buy a ticket to play one of several TTRPGs, plus a silent auction and a bake sale; if you are not local you can still donate to support the org. You can read more, buy a ticket, and support the fundraiser here.

Recurring Needs:

loversdoom has recently been diagnosed with PCOS and needs help to afford the prescribed birth control pills on top of living expenses and dental bills; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here or give via paypal here.

onedollopofsourcream is fundraising to help support a large family including young children during a difficult time; they particularly need funds for needed medication (including insulin), and hopefully eventually to get out of an abusive living situation. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

chingaderita is raising funds to help their family get back on their feet after a house fire that left them in an unsafe living situation with black mold; their partner has also recently had oral surgery and many family members are unemployed, and they need funds for clean water, food, and cleaning until the mold can be taken care of. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

memprime linked to a fundraiser for a friend, virtualalternative, who needs help with cat vet bills after their cat had several blockages; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[phoenixyfriend]

Ko-Fi prompt from Isabelo:

Hi! I'm new to the workforce and now that I have some money I'm worried it's losing its value to inflation just sitting in my bank. I wanted to ask if you have ideas on how to counteract inflation, maybe through investing?

I've been putting this off for a long time because...

I am not a finance person. I am not an investments person. I actually kinda turned and ran from that whole sector of the business world, at first because I didn't understand it, and then once I did understand it, because I disagreed with much of it on a fundamental level.

But... I can describe some factors and options, and hope to get you started.

I AM NOT LEGALLY QUALIFIED TO GIVE FINANCIAL ADVICE. THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE.

What is inflation, and what impacts it?

Inflation is the rate at which money loses value over time. It's the reason something that cost 50 cents in the 1840s costs $50 now.

A lot of things do impact inflation, like housing costs and wage increases and supply chains, but the big one that is relevant here is federal interest rates. The short version: if you borrow money from the government, you have to pay it back. The higher the interest rates on those loans, the lower inflation is. This is for... a lot of reasons that are complicated. The reason I bring it up is less so:

The government offers investments:

So yeah, the feds can impact inflation, but they also offer investment opportunities. There are three common types available to the average person: Bonds, Bills, and Notes. I'll link to an article on Investopedia again, but the summary is as follows: You buy a bill, bond, or note from the government. You have loaned them money, as if you are the bank. Then, they give it back, with interest.

Treasury Bills: shortest timeframe (four weeks to a year), and lowest return on investment. You buy it at a discount (let's say $475), and then the government returns the "full value" that the bond is, nominally (let's say $500). You don't earn twice-yearly interest, but you did earn $25 on the basis of Loaning The Government Some Cash.

Treasury Notes: 2-10 year timeframe. Very popular, very stable. Banks watch it to see how they should plan the interest rates for mortgages and other large loans. Also pretty high liquidity, which means you can sell it to someone else if you suddenly need the cash before your ten-year waiting period is up. You get interest payments twice a year.

Treasury Bonds: 20-30 years. This is like... the inverse of a house mortgage. It takes forever, but it does have the highest yield. You get interest payments twice a year.

Why invest money into the US Treasury department, whether through the above or a different government paper? (Savings bonds aren't on sold the set schedule that treasury bonds are, but they only come in 30-year terms.)

It is very, very low risk. It is pretty much the lowest risk investment a person can make, at least in the US. (I'm afraid I don't know if you're American, but if you're not, your country probably has something similar.)

Interest rates do change, often in reaction or in relation to inflation. If your primary concern is inflation, not getting a high return on investment, I would look into government papers as a way to ensure your money is not losing value on you.

This is the website that tells you the government's own data for current yield and sales, etc. You can find a schedule for upcoming auctions, as well.

High-yield bank accounts:

Savings accounts can come with a pretty unremarkable but steady return on investment; you just need to make sure you find one that suits you. Some of the higher-yield accounts require a minimum balance or a yearly fee... but if you've got a good enough chunk of cash to start with, that might be worth it for you.

They are almost as reliable as government bonds, and are insured by the government up to $250,000. Right now, they come with a lower ROI than most bonds/bills/notes (federal interest rates are pretty high at the moment, to combat inflation). Unlike government papers, though, you can deposit and withdraw money from a savings account pretty much any time.

Certificates of Deposit:

Okay, imagine you are loaning money to your bank, with the fixed term of "I will get this money back with interest, but only in ten years when the contract is up" like the Treasury Notes.

That's what this is.

Also, Investopedia updates near-daily with the highest rates of the moment, which is pretty cool.

Property:

Honestly, if you're coming to me for advice, you almost definitely cannot afford to treat real estate as an investment thing. You would be going to an actual financial professional. As such... IDK, people definitely do it, and it's a standby for a reason, but it's not... you don't want to be a victim of the housing bubble, you know? And me giving advice would probably make you one. So. Talk to a professional if this is the route you want to take.

Retirement accounts:

Pension accounts are a kind of savings account. You've heard of a 401(k)? It's that. Basically, you put your money in a savings account with a company that specializes in pensions, and they invest it in a variety of different fields and markets (you can generally choose some of this) in order to ensure that the money grows enough that you can hopefully retire on it in fifty years. The ROI is usually higher than inflation.

These kinds of accounts have a higher potential for returns than bonds or treasury notes, buuuuut they're less reliable and more sensitive to market fluctuations.

However, your employer may pay into it, matching your contribution. If they agree to match up to 4%, and you pay 4% of your paycheck into an pension fund, then they will pay that same amount and you are functionally getting 8% of your paycheck put into retirement while only paying for half of it yourself.

Mutual Funds:

I've definitely linked this article before, but the short version is:

An investment company buys 100 shares of stock: 10 shares each in 10 different "general" companies. You, who cannot afford a share of each of these companies, buy 1 singular share of that investment company. That share is then treated as one-tenth of a share of each of those 10 "general" companies. You are one of 100 people who has each bought "one stock" that is actually one tenth of ten different stocks.

Most retirement funds are actually a form of mutual fund that includes employer contributions.

Pros: It's more stable than investing directly in the stock market, because you can diversify without having to pay the full price of a share in each company you invest in.

Cons: The investment company does get a cut, and they are... often not great influences on the economy at large. Mutual funds are technically supposed to be more regulated than hedge funds (which are, you know, often venture capital/private equity), but a lot of mutual funds like insurance companies and pension funds will invest a portion of their own money into hedge funds, which is... technically their job. But, you know, capitalism.

Directly investing in the stock market:

Follow people who actually know what they're doing and are not Evil Finance Bros who only care about the bottom line. I haven't watched more than a few videos yet, but The Financial Diet has had good energy on this topic from what I've seen so far, and I enjoy the very general trends I hear about on Morning Brew.

That said, we are not talking about speculative capital gains. We are talking about making sure inflation doesn't screw with you.

DIVIDENDS are profit that the company shares to investors every quarter. Did the company make $2 billion after paying its mortgages, employees, energy bill, etc? Great, that $2 billion will be shared out among the hundreds of thousands of stocks. You'll probably only get a few cents back per stock (e.g. Walmart has been trading at $50-$60 for the past six months, and their dividends have been 57 cents and then 20.75 cents), but it adds up... sort of. The Walmart example is listed as having dividends that are lower than inflation, so you're actually losing money. It's part of why people rely on capital gains so much, rather than dividends, when it comes to building wealth.

Blue Chip Stocks: These are old, stable companies that you can expect to return on your investment at a steady rate. You probably aren't going to see your share jump from $5 to $50 in a year, but you also probably won't see it do the reverse. You will most likely get reliable, if not amazing, dividends.

Preferred Stocks: These are stock shares that have more reliable dividends, but no voting rights. Since you are, presumably, not a billionaire that can theoretically gain a controlling share, I can't imagine the voting rights in a given company are all that important anyway.

Anyway, hope this much-delayed Intro To Investing was, if not worth the wait, at least, a bit longer than you expected.

Hey! You got interest on the word count! It's topical! Ish.

[desos-records]

alright let’s talk about Lockwood & Co vs Adults

(mostly about the show, I started the books before the show came out and I’m not done, be nice)

Lockwood tries so very hard to act older than he is and he essentially Had To after losing his family. We aren’t told the specifics, but he doesn’t seem to have any adults in his life. Or many people in it period. George has only known him for a year, Flo used to live with him but hasn’t for at least a year if not more, and Kipps is. well. Kipps.

But other than that he seems to have been alone: he’s the one who takes care of the business and the finances, finding new clients and recruiting new agents (he has a mortgage and insurance and he can’t even drive yet). It fits with the overarching theme of the older generation not just failing the newer one, but exploiting it too. Lockwood was abandoned by the generation that was supposed to take care of him (on purpose or not)--just like all the kids of his generation, George and Lucy included.

It’s a little simpler when it comes to George and Lucy. They both left their families by choice; they chose to be the mature ones, to do what they had to so they could feel safe and at home. George left parents who loved him, but didn’t understand him. Lucy left a physically abusive mother who exploited her for money. They’re both mature in very concrete, measurable ways that are natural extensions of their characters. George cleans and cooks and handles research. Lucy is emotionally mature, holding both boys (and people in general) accountable for their actions and making her able to pick out incredible nuances in emotion (of both the living and the dead).

But Lockwood’s maturity feels a little more like play-acting than the others. Partly, I think, because he didn’t get a choice. He’s been functionally an independent adult for god knows how long. He dresses in suits and is entirely too formal (in the books it takes forever for him to stop calling Lucy ‘Miss Carlyle’). But you can tell that it is definitely an act. His tie and trousers are too short, his coat is too big, and, god bless him, he wears the most beat up pair of sneakers I’ve ever seen.

His interactions with actual adults become a flashpoint. It’s most obvious in his interactions with adult men (partly just because most of the adults in the show are men), who he is trying so hard to look and act like. But in every case, they call him out on it and he’s reminded how young he is and almost always in a way that hurts.

The most obvious are Fairfax, Winkman, and what’s-his-face with the gold sword and guyliner, who are trying to kill him. In all cases, Lockwood can’t physically overpower them (Fairfax and Guyliner have guns, Winkman has an electric chair) and his words don’t mean anything to them. And Guyliner is even more dangerous because he knows his parents, knows something about the story behind Lockwood’s armor.

But what’s more interesting are the adults who aren’t trying to kill him.

Barnes picks apart the arguments Lockwood throws up in defense of himself and his agency, not with posturing, but with genuine (although rather harsh) concerns for their safety. For Lockwood, Barnes is a Captain Hook figure, but Barnes acts more like a disgruntled school principal than anything else. He’s working to protect a whole city full of kids that are, by necessity, thrown into harm’s way. And you can see it when Lockwood says that Barnes doesn’t like them much and it throws him off-guard.

The DEPRAC agent at the auction tells them to leave not just because he thinks they can’t handle it, but because they shouldn’t have to

Jesus, you’re children

Yes, he’s aggressive and antagonistic about it, which only makes Lockwood bristle more. Lockwood steps towards him trying to act with authority, even threatening, but all the agent does to break his armor is grab him hard by the shoulder and push him back. But despite that, he is trying to protect them. And he dies to protect them. It is the only instance of someone truly seeing them for what they are: kids. Not agents or weapons or meal tickets.

But it’s jarring. Lockwood can’t process any of that and that’s not his fault. In the world we’ve seen so far, Barnes and the DEPRAC agent are an anomaly. Most other adults don’t care whether they live or die (so long as they’re useful). Lockwood has every reason to believe that every adult is an obstacle at best and a threat at worst.

And it’s painful. All of it. And a little too close to home, this story of children only valued when they’re useful.

[sexhaver]

hey I have an ungraded Alpha Chaos Orb I got from a blind egg machine in the 90s. how do I get it graded and what's the best move for me with this thing? should I sell it, or is it going to continue to acquire value?

ohhhhh man that's a Spicy Meatball. first step would be getting ahold of a jeweler's loupe and doing some basic at-home checks for whether or not it's fake. the most common is the Green Dot Test where you look at the green dot on the back of the card:

there are also some other tests you can do but the efficacy of those can vary depending on the set the card is from (i.e. sometimes legit cards can still fail); r/mtgfinance is very helpful with walking you through the specifics of these

once you determine it's not an obvious fake, the next step would be getting it graded. the gold standards here are Beckett and PSA. picking which one to use is a subject of great debate; generally PSA is preferred by Pokemon collectors and stores in Japan, whereas Beckett is preferred by MTG whales (i.e. your target audience). PSA is more lenient on specifically the centering of the card though so it might be worth sending it into them depending on how that looks. also before sending the card in to any service, get multiple high-quality scans of the front and back in case a dispute arises. both Beckett and PSA are wayyyy more reputable than that card service i posted about a few days back that just declares their customers' cards fake and then steals them, but when dealing with something this expensive it pays to be cautious. i would also recommend insuring the package you mail it to them in

once you get a grade, you can decide how to proceed from there. Chaos Orb specifically is banned in basically everything so it really only has value as a collectable, which means you can probably just leave it in the plastic "slab" you'll get it back in. on the plus side, it has a LOT of value as a collectable. i don't have a finger on the pulse of alpha card prices but you're looking at multiple thousands of dollars minimum. however, you are going to run into some issues because 1. you're someone with no sale history selling a really rare and expensive card and 2. there are so few Alpha Chaos Orbs floating around that there aren't really enough sales to pin down a market price, but not so few sales that you want to go through an auction house. you definitely do not want to sell to a physical LGS (local game store) because they are not going to beat the best offer you can find online (they mostly have the edge when selling in bulk). your best bets here are probably either ebay or this facebook group, but bear in mind that ebay takes some percentage of the sale (i think 14%?) and tends to side with the buyer unconditionally if a dispute arises. if you take the facebook route, DO NOT ACCEPT OFFERS FROM PEOPLE SLIDING INTO YOUR DMS. THEY ARE LOWBALLING YOU.

im answering this one publicly so people can chime in if they have any other advice they want to share, but in any case, your first step here is to get your hands on a jeweler's loupe

[the-hinky-panda]

Forged Series - Part I

Title: Forged

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Bill Bevilaqua x OFC!Reader

Summary: You're a forger working out of an auction house that's owned by Kansas City mafia boss Bill Bevilaqua. You're practical, detail orientated, and love at first sight doesn't make any logical sense. That is until it happens to you.

Taglist

You’ve always been dedicated to your work. Spending hours bent over a desk, making sure the dye on the pen was historically accurate as you wrote the vineyard name on the aged label of the forged bottle of wine. You never stopped long enough to pursue a romantic relationship, or even do something so mundane as dating. 

That is until you met Bill Bevilaqua. 

You had been working as a forger in the dingy basement of the auction house when he first passed through on a tour of the establishment. You never paid attention to the bored, wealthy persons that passed quickly through the storage area where you worked. He had been impressive in the energy that he carried, enough that it made you take notice of him. No man or woman had ever caught your attention like that before and it left you deeply unsettled. 

Love at first sight was fine as long as you don’t see him again. And that plan was going just fine until you were asked to go to the auctioneer’s office two weeks later. You hadn’t expected the call, you were dressed in a silk shirt with cherries on it, a pair of wide legged jeans, and red converse sneakers. It wasn’t exactly a “meet the head of the auction house” outfit. But when you walked into the office, your eyes immediately landed on Bill and once again he was all you could see.  But he wasn’t alone. It was him, an insurance agent, and the head auctioneer. They were asking for your expertise on whether or not the painting before them was a true Vermeer. 

It wasn’t. 

You distinctly remember telling Arlo, the capo that was in charge of managing the forgeries at the auction house, that the yellow paint had to lack two isotopes: strontium-90 and cesium-137. Those two isotopes didn’t exist in the world until 1945. If they showed up in an authentication process on a piece, it was automatically flagged as a forgery. You had a lengthy conversation with the completely disinterested Arlo about the importance of making sure the yellow paint in this particular painting had the isotopes removed from them. 

He didn’t listen to you. 

“Be honest.” 

It’s the first thing you’ve heard Bill say and once again, you feel like a fucking deer caught in the headlights. Why are thousands of books written about the wonderfulness of falling in love when it’s so terrifying? Who wants to experience these kinds of feelings, let alone read about them? And you hadn’t even processed the fact that you’re not even on Bill’s radar, except for right now. Shit. He’s still waiting for your answer. 

“It’s not a Vermeer.” You bite your tongue to keep from saying anything else. About Arlo not listening to you about the paint, about using an art student who used Rembrant’s lighting in the forged Vermeer piece. Not to mention they tried to knock off Vermeer’s most famous piece, Girl with a Pearl Earring. Everything about the painting screamed the brashness and audacity of youth. 

Bill shakes his head. “Fucking Arlo.” 

You scoff before you can stop yourself and Bill’s slightly raised eyebrow tells you he heard it. Thankfully the head of the auction house dismisses you from the meeting and you don’t hesitate to remove yourself from the office before you further embarrass yourself. It’s almost an hour later when the auctioneer finds you at your workstation, focused on painting the vineyard and wine’s name on the piece of cork that had been lifted from an Alabama nautical museum. 

“You’re doing the Vermeer.” 

“I’m not doing Girl with a Pearl Earring though.” 

“God, no.” 

You put your paintbrush down and remove your magnifying glasses. “So which one am I doing?” 

“Mr. Bevilaqua said it’s up to your discretion.” 

You don’t need time to ponder over what masterpiece you’re going to forge for him. The Geographer. Art critics still don’t know who the man in the painting is supposed to be, but as you dedicate yourself for the next two months to make the forged painting, as you add in the details of the scrolls on the floor, the details of the rug, the distant look in the subjects eyes as he stares out of the window, you realize it’s not anyone in particular. It’s the spirit of discovery, the desire to explore and gain knowledge, possessions, land and property. It’s the perfect painting for a mafia boss who owns pretty much the entire center of the United States. At least you hope it is. Once it’s completed, gets the approval of the auctioneer, it’s sent over to Bill’s home. Two weeks later, you receive an invitation for the unveiling party of the painting. 

You wouldn’t miss it for the world.

[onmyyan]

Well, the best work, or writing in this case, is done in collaboration with others amirite? The prev ask responding to my ask got my gears turnin and taking a break from writing by writing helps my creative juices flowin

When reader starts out they may have had their fair share of run ins with Catwoman, Harley, and Poison Ivy in their own way. But that was when they were a small fry, certainly not noticeable to their old family much less the femme fatales of Gotham.

It isn’t till they begin to rise from the dredges of Gotham that the three begin to take notice.

For Selena Kyle, she’s an opportunist at heart. She’s not wholly evil nor is she wholly good. At the end of the day she just wants to bathe in the lap of luxury with her feline friends and if that means introducing herself to reader, the hottest thing since sliced bread, and getting in their good graces then so be it.

What she didn’t expect was recognizing that pretty voice from months ago when some goodie two-shoes stopped her from stealing a diamond ring from Cairo. Sure, it was going to be auctioned for some stupid thing like newly paved streets or whatever but Selena could care less.

She was a rooftop type of gal anyway.

At the end of the day though, Ms. Kyle is a professional, that means bygones can be bygones for the right price.

What she doesn’t expect is just how profitable it is to take down the baddies. After all, the Gotham black market alone brings in millions- billions of dollars every year through illicit goods. Untold wealth stolen from museums and the wealthy sold to the highest bidder, reader sometimes playing the role of a seller, sometimes the role of a buyer.

But always coming out on top.

It’s a stroke of genius too, when reader hires Selena for a job, at first it makes sense. You want a painting stolen from some corrupt politician? Get Catwoman to do it. What truly confused her though is why you wanted her to put back the damn thing in the basement of the guys place a week later.

Turns out, art insurance companies are more vicious than one might think, and art insurance fraud can get you a lifetime in prison… and forfeiture of all your assets.

Assets you could happily sweep up on the dime now that that pesky obstacle was out of the way.

For Selena you aren’t just an adorable kitten flaring out her claws for the first time, but a beautiful independent woman just like her. And ladies ought to stay together in a town like Gotham, right?

At least, that’s what she’s telling herself…

Harley is much quicker to warm up to reader. She sees herself so much in the up and coming super villain. How many times has she gone to Arkham or sacrificed some part of herself for the Joker? How many times as she tried to appease the sociopath only to be ignored or even worse, have her efforts thrown into her face?

Speaking of faces, thing about being a brilliant psychologist means that she can be good with recognizing faces. She certainly recognized yours ages ago when the tabloids talked about a Wayne kid that left the nest early, paparazzi all vying to get a shot or two of the illusive member of the dynasty.

You were a rich kid, but seeing you now certainly could convince anyone otherwise. Harley sees that fire in your eyes, the emptiness and the hurt she long ago overcame to be her own woman in this town.

It runs through her head like a list when she analyzes reader’s movement. Symptoms of childhood neglect vary, naturally, but reader has the tell tale distrust in strangers and aversion to affection that has Harley’s mind buzzing with theories and thoughts, lots of thoughts.

It’s interesting to see when teaming up with reader to spread some chaos, the idea of using controlled unrest in rich neighborhoods to lower housing costs brilliant in her mind. Plus, rich suckers get to suck so why not?

Seeing reader like that just sparks something fierce in her. Maybe it’s a remnant of her more humane side, of the old doctor and psychologist, but she’s determined to be by your side like it or not.

You’re partners now, Puddin. You pinkie swore when teaming up so there’s no stopping now!

Pamela is honestly a whole lot harder to warm to reader. She’s a solo act for the most part, an antisocial eco terrorist that barely has friends outside of Harley and … Selena, but even the jury’s out on that one sometimes.

Her connection with nature makes her jaded with the vile parasites that walk about the street, the news of a new crime lord making the woman roll her eyes dismissively. New crime in Gotham? Please, be for real.

It’s only when Harley comes barreling into her greenhouse babbling on and on about reader that Pamela realizes maybe she ought to take a second look.

Who knew doing “good” as you put it, would involve her world so much. The plan was simple, destroy a few gas stations and car parks, break into some oil or gas executive event and make owning a car in Gotham all the more painful.

Growing pains according to reader.

Then with all the slush funds reader has, fund and develop a robust subway and bus system. Less cars, less subsidies, less pollution.

It was simply a coincidence that the reader had started a company specializing in public transport mere weeks ago, promise! And what’s more, building these tunnels meant that there’d be a perfect opportunity to carve out secret bases, paths, and caches all around the city. And as the system spread, making travel more green and efficient, so would your influence.

If you kept your thinking like that then… just maybe, Pamela might stick around more (Oh who is she kidding, the moment Harley was down for you Pamela would undoubtedly be there for her friend and you lol)

Incredible addition omfg??!?! I adore the way your mind works omgggg

Literally perfect I love your characterization of the sirens so much sjsksks

[thegildedbee]

Hero: May 29 Prompt from @calaisreno

This latest chapter and the previous ones are here at ao3. (I had hoped to finish with everyone else on the 31st of May, but alas, it looks like it will be May 32nd or 33rd for me . . . ) ...............................................................................................

In Vienna, his search and destroy mission retained its danger; it was as exhausting, and as nerve-wracking as any other part of his journeys to date. It was, however, undoubtedly a much more elegant and luxurious phase. His cover was as an art dealer, an international concierge of sorts, assisting in obtaining the exact object to be placed in exactly the right hands. That this was rarely an above-board legal transaction was, of course, the point. One might say that his current activities fell under the umbrella of the art of money laundering.

Although there had been recent flurries on the part of policing agencies to upend the illicit trafficking of art and antiquities, the Moriarty organization, like many other criminal enterprises, had been delighted to add participation in the circulation of fake and stolen artworks to their already robust departments of fraudulent real estate deals, as vehicles for making illegal monetary gains appear to be legitimate. Auction houses and the like were under no obligation to report large cash transactions to governing authorities -- unlike banks, life insurance companies, casinos, currency exchangers, and precious metal dealers. They could even keep the names of buyers and sellers anonymous. It was like stealing candy from a baby.

His activities had him bouncing from the unsavory world of back-street feloniusness, to the elite world of the over-monied and the over-gullible. Personally, he himself believed that, in a properly-run world, it would be perfectly acceptable if being a billionaire was illegal, but no one had asked him, as such, to draw up plans toward that end. At the very least, he could kill two birds with one stone, by draining the coffers of the obscenely-wealthy as expertly as possible, while also bleeding dry the Order of Moriartyites.

There was a completely legal print gallery next door to the famous Opera House, and he had come to enjoy dropping by on occasion when he wanted to simply enjoy art for recreational reasons, rather than pecuniary ones. The gallery possessed one of the largest collections of original Japanese woodblock prints in Europe, and he had become particularly captivated by their collection of pieces by the nineteenth-century master of ukiyo-e ("pictures of the floating world"), Tsukioka Yoshitoshi. There were many mesmerizing items from two of his series -- 100 Aspects of the Moon and New Forms of 36 Ghosts -- but the images that he especially craved to return to and study, were from his 50 renditions of Handsome and Brave Heroes of the Suikoden, fantastical images of spirits, monsters, and magical creatures, drawn from legendary histories and myths.

On his last day in Vienna, he indulged himself by buying a copy of "Toraomaru Riding a Tiger," an image that encapsulated the feeling that was his constant companion, of living out a life reflecting the aphorism, "He who rides the tiger, dare never dismount." It was a reckless thing to do -- he had no fixed location, no place to store anything important, and whatever he "owned" was only on loan to him as a temporary matter, as it might have to be jettisoned or abandoned at a moment's notice. Nevertheless, he stubbornly refused to submit to practicality in this one instance.

A month later, after many different instances of meditating upon his Yoshitoshi print, the reason the universe had wanted him to own it became clear. While running down new leads on the west coast of the States, he had passed a tattoo shop one day in San Francisco, and impulsively stopped in to see if he could make arrangements soon, in the time before he would have to leave, to have one of the artists interpret the Toraomaru on his left arm. Two days later, he had the art piece vibrantly reproduced, and healing, on his body (and, not so incidentally, allowing the marks from his drug injection days to disappear). His intimate acquisition was a defiant, sentimental, and minutely optimistic act of voicing the unvoiced center of his existence, even if visually, rather than aurally.

And, as someone dear to him from his past might have said: quite apropos for a drama queen.

........................................................

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @friday411 @peanitbear @original-welovethebeekeeper

@helloliriels @a-victorian-girl @keirgreeneyes @starrla89 @naefelldaurk

@topsyturvy-turtely @lisbeth-kk @raina-at @jobooksncoffee @meetinginsamarra

@solarmama-plantsareneat @bluebellofbakerstreet @dragonnan @safedistancefrombeingsmart @jolieblack

@msladysmith @ninasnakie @riversong912 @dapetty

.............................................................................

[themegglesart]

☆SURGERY SALES☆

Hello all!

I am having a 25% off shop sale through the 15th of May!

As you all might know, I have been scheduled for an unforeseen surgery tomorrow, May 2nd. The Mass (a cyst) on my ovary that has been causing anemia, pain, and hormonal imbalances along with other damage, is so large they're having to surgically remove it. Without insurance, it is going to cost a pretty penny, but if I keep it in there, it'll cause more damage than it already has. So, I need a little help ♡

I have also started a new ko-fi goal

Be on the lookout for auctions I will be posting for traditional pieces of mine! ♡

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Pt. 2: Oliver's Kidnapping

Masterlist

September 1925

TW: Kidnapping, drugging, mind control

Oliver's chest tightened at the sight of the woman who had entered his shop, given the warning Alexander had just given him. He tried to keep his breathing steady. She could very well be an ordinary patron. There was no cause for alarm.

"Welcome to Oliver's Rare Books, miss," he said genially, hoping his voice didn't tremble. "What can I do for you?"

She hadn't even glanced around at the shop itself, staring directly at Oliver without blinking. "I'm afraid you'll have to forgive me, but I'm not much of a reader. My work keeps me ever so busy." She stepped closer to the desk as Oliver took a step backwards. "You can help me out by coming quietly. Make it easy and quick for both of us."

His heart sank. "What do you mean, 'come quietly'?" he demanded, his voice sounding weaker than he would have liked. "Who are you? What are you doing?"

"Oh, do relax. You have nothing at all to fear. I'm just going to take you to sell. That's all."

Alexander had mentioned something about an "auction," and now his warning was ringing in Oliver's ears. He should have closed shop when he had the chance. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but -- I'll call the police if you lay a hand on me."

She put her hands up in mock surrender. "Oh no, not the police!" she said, laughing. "I don't mind subduing you if I have to. I'd just rather not waste time."

Oliver's mind raced, trying to assess his options. She was smaller than him, and didn't seem all that athletic. If he made a run for it, he could get past her and get some help, maybe even detain her. 

Unless she actually was a vampire. Then there was no telling what she might do. She clearly wasn't normal, but he really had no choice but to risk it.

He darted out from behind the desk, but before he could take more than one step, the woman snapped her fingers. "Freeze."

To his horror, his body responded immediately, every joint locking as he stood helplessly in place before the woman. He could breathe and blink, but he couldn't move, could hardly speak.

In that moment, the nightmare became all too real. Up to this point, some part of him could imagine that this was just some insane person, or maybe a garden variety thief -- a bad situation, but a relatively ordinary one, one that he would most likely survive. But now there was no mistaking the supernatural force at work here. She really was something otherworldly, something he was in no way equipped to fight, and he was caught up in it, trapped in her crosshairs.

"Do you like my power?" she said. She ran a hand through his hair, and he didn't have enough control of himself to shudder. "It's very useful for my line of work."

"Stop," he managed to force from his lips. "Please."

"It will wear off in a few minutes," she said. She reached into her bag and pulled out a long needle. "That's why I need to have a little extra insurance to keep you from escaping."

Still paralyzed, Oliver was unable to stop her from taking his wrist and pulling his hand towards her. She stuck the needle right into one of the veins in his elbow, only a small pinprick. "There we go. That'll help you stay nice and relaxed."

"You... drugged me...?" 

"I told you that I want to make this easy for both of us," she said. "Don't you worry, it isn't going to hurt you. You're just going to feel like taking a nap as I drive you to the auction house."

He was regaining a bit of control of his body. "What the hell is this auction house?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like." Her fingers traced along Oliver's jawline, and this time he was able to pull back. "Your blood smells delectable. You're going to fetch an extremely high price. Make me rich. Well, richer." She eyed the spot where she'd pricked his arm, with unmistakable hungry desire. "Speaking of rich..." The woman grabbed his arm again and licked the drop of blood that had welled up there.

"That's revolting!" Oliver cried out, stumbling backwards into a bookshelf. "You're insane! Help! Help..." His second cry was much weaker as he felt woozy all of a sudden. The room spun, and he grabbed a shelf to try and steady himself.

"And that'll be the nice drugs kicking in. Don't fight it, dear. This'll all be over soon. Well, for me."

His knees wobbled as he resisted the unnatural impulse to collapse to the floor. Whatever she'd stung him with was potent, and between that and her powers, there was little chance of escape. "You're a monster," he said, as defiantly as he could manage. "If you think you can sell... sell a person..."

"I don't just think it. I do it. Traveling city to city, several times a year. And I'm being honest when I say I rarely find merchandise like you. You're worth a fortune, far more than you'd ever be worth as a mere human."

"N-no..." His eyelids fluttered dangerously. He had to stay awake. Had to do something.

"It's good news for you, too, because it means no vampire in their right mind would kill you. It'd be killing the golden goose, so to speak. You might even have a relatively posh life. Who knows? As long as I get paid, it doesn't matter." Her laugh was high and cruel. "Well, I think I've stalled long enough for the drug to set in."

Before Oliver's rapidly slowing mind could respond, she'd picked him up effortlessly, despite being considerably smaller than him. He wanted to push her away, but his limbs were heavy and uncoordinated. All he could do was sink into her arms, staring up at the ceiling beams and drifting closer to unconsciousness.

He just wanted... he just needed to rest his eyes... just for a second... The ring of the brass bell above his door and the feeling of cooler air on his face caused his eyes to pop open again. He'd nearly succumbed to sleep. Now that he was out of the shop, maybe he could get someone's attention.

"Help..." he called, but it sounded more like a tired moan, looking around the deserted city street.

"Cute, but no one's here to help you," said the woman. "You might as well take a good look at the stars, because who knows when you'll see them again?"

The stars and moon were indeed bright overhead, and beautiful, the kind of night Oliver loved. The thought of never seeing them again, of spending the rest of his life in a vampire's captivity, was too much to bear.

Oliver heard the sound of a car door opening, struggled to force his sedated mind to focus. Once she packed him off in a car, she would no doubt drive her to some vampire compound and any chance of rescue would become much less. But his attempt at struggles were less than feeble as she placed him in the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. His clumsy hands pawed at the car door, which didn't seem to have an inside handle, as she walked around to sit in the driver's seat and start the car. 

"I wouldn't," she said, as though he'd made any progress. "I can just freeze you again, you know."

The car started and they began to drive.

Oliver's eyes fluttered, glassy and half-open, as his head slumped against the car window. If he could figure out how, he could still open the door and roll out, maybe when she was focused on driving. 

But he was so drowsy. He knew he'd feel so much better if he slept for a while. His confused mind told him to shut his eyes, falsely reassured him that he could deal with this problem in the morning.

"G'night," he mumbled as he curled up in the car seat and finally allowed his eyes to close and his mind to drift.

"Good night, dear," said the vampire with a laugh. "Sweet dreams."

Part One >> Masterlist >> Part Three