#Integration with Other Systems
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#School Bell Services#Dubai#Vivency Technology LLC#Automatic Bell System#Bell Management#Educational Institutions#Customizable Bell Schedules#Announcement Management#Automated Bell Routines#Flexibility and Scalability#Easy-to-Use Interface#Integration with Other Systems#Efficiency#Reliability#School Bell Solutions
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Mindscape, based on this post I made weeks ago
The yellow light is Flapjack's life force 😭😭😭😭
#toh hunter#the owl house#hunter noceda#hunter deamonne#smol hunter#toh edits#loz's edits#putting therapist-related notes here in the tags: Understanding Willow is my fave Season 1 episode --#coz exploring mindscapes..seeing your inner selves - esp the inner child - is a metaphor for something you can absolutely do in therapy#so this scene can easily be something that Hunter's therapist is guiding him through. in his imagination#it might not necessarily require the use of the same spell that Eda or the CaTTs used to enter Willow and Belos's mindscapes#and besides - for those episodes..other people were exploring their mindscapes. so this is different I guess#it could easily be a therapy exercise to connect to his inner child#and note: this is different from EMDR therapy as per my EMDR-related Hunter posts. this could be under a diff style of therapy --#such as Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy)#if it's EMDR...then it'd likely involve both Hunter's therapist & him exploring his memories. Hunter reports to the therapist what he sees#and the therapist would not be allowed to interpret the memories by himself/herself/themselves#his/her/their job in EMDR would be to reflect whatever Hunter shares back at him and guide him towards integrating traumatic memories
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therapy resources / schema therapy / dbt/dialectical behaviour therapy / internal family systems / meditation / c-ptsd etc. resources
this is a link to my personal google drive, it has lots of dbt stuff, some random other resources that either i or my friends have found helpful incl. DID/OSDD/dissociation resources, & some handouts from a personality disorder program i did (was aimed at pplwbpd officially but the staff all refer to it as the "personality disorder clinic", fwiw)
bunch of other stuff under the cut including video content if that's more your thing
DBT stuff
this subreddit is a wonderful community, usually helpful with questions & has some resources linked also:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp/ https://dbtselfhelp.com/
TIPP skills (from dbt/distress tolerance unit but deserves distinction. biochemical benefit > psychological benefit. at least for me)
https://manhattancbt.com/dbt-tipp-skills/ https://in.nau.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/202/TIP-Skills.pdf
also emotional freedom tapping / eft (not a tipp skill iirc but it should be, one of the few things that kinda works for me)
https://www.health.com/emotional-freedom-technique-8399985
SCHEMA THERAPY
"client's guide to schema therapy"
https://disarmingthenarcissist.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/clientsguideSchemaTherapy.pdf
(the website name is very questionable but i can't find the pdf for free anywhere else orz. this is a good starting point for schema therapy tho. sorry y'all. i will steal it for my google drive when i have time)
https://www.psychologytools.com/professional/therapies/schema-therapy
^THAT LINK stuff is not free!!! BUT you can find a lot of them with this google search:
[title of worksheet/handout] -site:psychologytools.*
ex. i search the following: "unhelpful thinking styles" -site:positivepsychology.* ...and this pops up, tadaaaa:
https://talkheart2heart.org/resources/unhelpful-thinking-styles/
(i'm just linking the paid site because i cant find them gathered like that anywhere else… dont have time to search each one individually rn lol. maybe another day)
free stuff:
https://positive.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Schemas-Needs-and-Modes-Reference-Sheet.pdf (overview) https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-020-0392-y/tables/1 (more detailed info on each schema) http://www.schematherapy.com/id72.htm (more info on modes) https://positivepsychology.com/schema-therapy-worksheets/ (a few worksheets linked on that page)
if video content is more your thing:
DBT UNITS:
interpersonal effectiveness extras: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_tBg36U3wWZpLopxJBurSsq
"middle path" skills: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_uB2e7Y570ihYBEYd7dK9Sv
"radically open" skills: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_udTjVVHhz5e1wzOSDyVeN2
DBT expanded edition: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_vjlYkkflUDRmfhw_hM13M-
more DBT, videos by Dr. Thomas R. Lynch: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkKKzTWUSjRhnRr5Pe2GMA7VDg_E8wBcm
DBT skills animations:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4Qw4-tlRJe-T2l5MtFOsLkTIkfZqjobY
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FAMILY SYSTEMS + ATTACHMENT
Patrick Teahan channel:
(great channel run by a mental health practitioner who has experienced childhood trauma, he gets it. check out the playlists tab. he also has some free resources/worksheets on his website which is linked on his channel iirc)
attachment styles playlist by Jennifer May, Ph.D: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_smHuEjj2CxW4u7J_FozLlS
Crappy Childhood Fairy channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy/playlists
(cptsd content mostly, haven't watched much of her stuff but i liked what i did see. she isn't certified but she is someone who experienced childhood trauma as well).
healing cptsd (small channel, few videos but good info iirc): https://www.youtube.com/@healingfromcomplexptsd2767
MEDITATION
(i cannot recommend her channel enough… i don't watch her longer videos/seminar(?) stuff but her meditation videos are like. actually helpful lol? i find a lot of that stuff not helpful at all but something about her is very calming and open and grounding. love her)
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MISC
Rachel Richards massage channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@rachelrichardsmassage9660/playlists
(she has some great videos for somatic symptoms... some playlists focus on anxiety relief, breathing/relaxation, posture/mobility, sleep, etc.)
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Dr Daniel Fox channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@DrDanielFox/videos
(cw: ableism/ableist language toward cluster b's is present on this channel, he just has a LOT of videos so i include the link... like if youre looking for something specific to do with pd traits, there's a good chance you can find SOMETHING here. *i have mixed cluster b traits incl. the more demonized ones disclaimer*. but yeah steer clear if that bothers you)
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Struthless channel:
(mostly adhd/exec dysfunction/motivational advice stuff but i find his videos like actually kinda inspiring/motivating so i'm including it here since not a lot of stuff... feels motivating to me at all ever. but i never regret clicking on his vids! good motivational speaker lol)
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that's all i can think of rn please lmk if any of the links are broken or like... if you have a question u think i can help w ^-^
#ptsd resources#dbt skills#schema therapy#interpersonal effectiveness#trauma therapy#dialectical behavior therapy#actually cluster b#internal family systems#cptsd therapy#actually traumatized#ok i dont feel like putting more tags ... goodbye#x#btw the did resources don't include anything about integration... they're journal/symptom trackers#and stuff that helps with healthy multiplicity. total respect to both end goals but i do not have resources specific to integration#context this is a response to someone asking what to do when ur issues are too complex for therapists/no one will take you#i spent over 13 years in therapy and this is my 2 cents#because not a lot of stuff helps me lol#i have mixed cluster b traits and some other dxes#complex trauma#and therapy has been harmful for me many times. these things are ACTUALLY helpful to me. hopefully to anyone who sees this also
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not a system as a precursor but dude i Want them to revisit evil paper. i understand Why they haven’t (the idea of evil paper being an alter and not some evil alter ego was. Disappointing to find out!!) but god i want evil paper to become his own person!!! get his own name!!!! please i am on my knees
#worf opens their big mouth#other systems have pointed out that him being called evil paper is. Very funny in context#cause imagine someone being named joe and their alter’s name is evil joe 😭😭#inanimate insanity#although if EP is gone does that mean paper achieved full integration or fusion or whatever it’s called#through a damn piano 😭😭#again not a system so corrections very much appreciated 👍#ii paper#ii evil paper#ALSO also some people r calling evil paper looseleaf which i find awesome actually#edit to clarify by ‘become his own person’ i more mean not being treated as just an ‘evil’ extension of paper#like alters can have seperate interests and styles and everything. Evil isn’t exactly a hobby 💔#20
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System Collapse: at this rate the corporates are going to shut down this planet and enslave its people as salvage… unless we put on the biggest talent show this town has ever seen.
#the murderbot diaries#this was my one thought after finishing this book and it’s still the most coherent one bouncing around in my head#spoilers for System Collapse#sorta#this book did not go where i expected (im not really sure what i expected) but high speed video editing is a talent for sure#i went into this series thinking SecUnit’s love of serials as a kind of gimmick. but over and over it’s shown that its connection#to art (im not calling it media the same way i don’t call art ‘content’) is so integral to the way it perceives and reaches out#into the world#others have spoken about this far more extensively and eloquently than im capable of.#im very proud of SecUnit. anyway yes i loved this book
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a doctor turned serial killer turned doctor again, an actor who paints, a gang leader, a mining baron, and a vice overseer walk into the room.
oh yeah and they lead karnaca now.
dishonored 2 is my fav game but i think it's mid, story-wise. here's why dh1 works and why dh2's overarching story sorta misses
tl;dr: story integration is critical for gameplay that offers audience payoff, but emily's personal arc from dishonor to honor is inconsistently demonstrated in the story, and is not an interactive part of the gameplay.
essay/long version under cut >
recap: what's dishonored's deal
[skip if you want] dh1 is an underdog story: corvo is an honorable man swept up in the machinations of a callous city, so his canonical ending being 'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation being restored in a more hopeful city, due to his & the player's rejection of the violent connotations of the tagline 'revenge solves everything.'
similarly, in dh1 DLCs, daud's story arc is that of an anti-hero: a dishonorable man who realises too late he has done irreparable harm. he sees the error of his ways after a single monumental death, and eventually a single life redeems him when he/the player stepped in to circumvent a terrible fate for a child, enabling her to rule unfettered.
daud & corvo come to a satisfying conclusion within the extent of their narrative arcs. it doesn't matter that a child on a throne isn't really a fix for a decaying empire - the player's actions throughout the city of dunwall was what mattered - and these stories could be framed as parables. in that sense, young emily as a ruler is a metaphor for a hopeful future for the city & empire.
dishonored 1 & its DLCs are also great examples of storytelling with perfectly integrated gameplay - you, the player, worked towards the outcome that redeemed the protagonists.
in your efforts to save young emily, you either achieved a good outcome (corvo) or prevented a worse outcome (daud).
bringing us to dh2 -
what's emily's arc
emily's arc is a coming of age: we're introduced to a reigning empress who questions her role & skillset ("am i the empress my mother wanted me to be?"), then her titular fall from grace occurs. from there, she learns to reject the violent, selfish connotations in 'take back whats yours' tagline (a la daud & corvo!) while rediscovering why her rule is critical to the empire.
emily's rule is no longer metaphorical, but:
a literal thing for audience assessment (is emily a good ruler?) AND
the crux of her storyline.
at the beginning of dh2, emily is introduced as a disengaged leader ("i wish i could just run away from all this;" "i dont know if whether i should sail to the opposite side of the world, or have everyone around me executed"). the antihero has a precedent for the dishonored series in daud, so it's not at first glance an issue*, however, the fact that emily has ruled poorly reframes corvo & daud's endings as being less than ideal (a moralistic retcon) *we could talk here about how ready an audience was in 2016 for a flawed women as a protagonist, hell, even in 2023,,,
throwback to the beginning of this essay when i said:
'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation
emily's story arc, unlike for daud & corvo, is literally about the quality of her rule. we're no longer in metaphor territory (ironic phrase): a parable-style ending doesn't work.
does emily become a good ruler
we know she becomes a good ruler because the game says so. it is narrated to the audience via a (literal) word of god in the space of 30 seconds, after the final boss. the outsider tells us that emily becomes known as Just & Clever.
drawing a distinction here - this narration is not the same as the player actively being involved.
the player does not throughout the game become aware that emily has made political allies. during the game, she doesn't talk to these characters about saving karnaca or being a better ruler to the empire (there's a few lines might imply it, but you need to be actively looking and being careful to wait for every voice line. it's a far cry from daud & corvo's fight to save emily being unmissable - even though daud doesn't know at the beginning that's the goal).
how does the game show it
you can coincidentally not kill most of your subjects and never be aware that emily is looking to restore karnaca by means of instating a council - it's never brought up. it *couldn't* be brought up, because that council serves under the fake duke (armando), who is the last person she speaks to before she leaves for dunwall. its her suggestion that he rules karnaca, but armando's condition is that he will rule as he sees fit.
to back up a bit, emily's canonical method of restoring karnaca is by banding together key allies - hypatia, stilton, [byrne &or paolo], pastor, under a council beneath the duke's body double. they are passionate people who would each individually make worthwhile advisors, but if you think about those characters sitting at a table trying to reach an agreement, it feels like an assortment of people that emily didn't kill along the way and doesn't feel organic (up to interpretation). it's not stated if emily herself banded this council together, but logically she must have (worth a mention these are mostly characters that you as the player had reasonable rationale to kill during a high chaos run, except pastor). the underlying concept may be that karnaca's power is returned to its people - which is interesting given that the monarchy remains and armando's decision is final.
this overarching solution could also be taken as a critique to dh1's 'put your kid on the throne,' which is another reason its worthwhile looking at how emily was shown to be a better leader. obviously my point isn't that her solution was bad given the circumstance, but i mean she has very little agency here in all. if emily was shown to be more controlling as a leader, this could be interpreted as character growth, but that's not the case.
coming of age
how do you learn & grow when you can't specify your failings? emily doesn't really touch on her shortcomings as an empress. she non-specifically worries delilah makes a better empress than her. it's hard to argue her worries are meaningful when someone good at their job will still worry when lives are in the balance.
emily's best 'aha' moments (eg. crack in the slab comment about gaining perspective) are consistently undercut by a conversation with sokolov or meagan afterwards in which she demonstrates she hasn't learned anything (before the grand palace, emily condemns 'toadies sucking up to me' and is reminded by meagan that she's part of the problem). the story is confused about what it's trying to say about emily's progress, and when she's meant to show progress, if she was meant to show any progress at all. it could be argued that emily was never even a bad ruler, she had just been fed misinformation about the problems in karnaca and been the victim of slander by her political enemies. the game doesn't make this clear - it's easier to argue that the opposite is true given that her allies only have criticism.
worth a mention here that the heart quotes about armando - a fake ruler - interestingly mirror emily's character concerns. "see how he sighs? his life is a gilded cage." but this essay is already long.
while corvo & daud spend their games (and through the gameplay) 'earning' their redemption, emily is being led by the NPCs around her to a conclusion and a fix for the political mess in karnaca: meagan & sokolov guide emily to her missions, and there's no recurring quest for emily to investigate possible allies. she is able to gather the people she hasn't killed to herself by manner of... post-game narration. during the game, she's primarily concerned with getting her throne back.
an easy fix: if there had been less dialogue & narrative focus on emily's failings perhaps the ending would have felt more satisfying. it has the feel of cut content, but i don't know what was cut to be able to comment on it.
so what went wrong?
i can't help but wonder if arkane were worried they would lose a certain demographic if corvo wasn't playable (may have been deemed too much of a risk - 2013 was a different time), and so they had to take out story elements that were unique to emily's growth as a character/empress, because the usual storyline/gameplay integration had to work for both characters - in other words, gameplay that made sense for both corvo & emily was prioritised before emily's story & character development. which is a silly problem to have in a game that added character voices for the sake of improving characterisation - maybe emily's tale would have felt more akin to a parable if she had less lines that betrayed her ignorance (to the disdain of those around her).
i wish more care had been taken with emily's story. most players will never really notice the large variety of different endings - they're not particularly satisfying in and of themselves.
it's ironic that one of Emily's complaints is about her father/protector being overbearing, when his (parallel universe) presence in the gameplay may be one of the reasons her own narrative arc falls flat.
what are the upsides here
changing tune from what didn't work - don't you think the concept is fantastic? it's a great idea overall - can you imagine if the coming of age storyline was better integrated into the game?
it's valuable to talk about the integration of story and gameplay and characterisation from a craft perspective. dh2 genuinely is my favourite game - it's beautiful, the imm-sim design philosophy makes the world a delight to explore, the combat gives endless creative options for tackling any fight, there is a far greater diversity of cast in an in-text canonical way. there's loads to love!
i love emily as a dodgy leader, to me it adds interesting dimensionality to the outsider's narrations - of course in dunwall there's never a neat happily ever after! emily, like the outsider, both work well as characters who hold ultimate power but aren't necessarily worthy of it - and this makes perfect sense for the dishonored universe's morality & critiques of power. however, within this grey area there's still plenty of room for a satisfying ending, which isn't what we ended up with, whatever the true reason for that was. and also, damn, emily's a marked assassin empress, if she can't lead well then who can?
while dh1 was criticised for its narrative simplicity, dh2 in contrast and in hindsight shows us that simplicity isn't so bad - there's satisfaction in gameplay achieves a clear, simple narrative goal.
#are you a dh1 enjoyer but less so a dh2 enjoyer?#have you ever wondered why you don't love dh2 as much?#here's 1.8k words that might articulate some of that.#light reading.i guess#this essay wasn't meant to cover everything - just the core of the plot and why its important to integrate story & gameplay#and to compare dh1 & 2#dishonored#dishonored 2#dishonored 2 spoilers#emily kaldwin#daud#corvo attano#this week i'm cracking things out of my drafts!#<333 don't get me started on doto.#some of this might be contentious. idk i try to live in a bubble#the meme version was easier to read i know i know#this essay would have been a lot longer had i integrated more references from the game#i know a few others have said this but imagine if they went a different way with emily#like she realises shes not fit for the job and maybe no one is and says fuck the system cause shes got a rebellious streak#and does a kickflip on the monarchy and institutes something else. i dont even care what. make it funny#and then for the sake of continuing the trend we spend dishonored 3 undoing the horrible leadership emily instates <3#i think they really loved emily as a character. i FEEL the love i believe its there.but didn't think enough bout how she would be perceived#there's a good couple comments from baldur's gate 3 devs about how much work goes into writing women to account for sexism#there's more that i could have added to this essay but for brevity's (ha.ha) sake i'll leave it there#other textposts about this game that i see around tend to romanticise dishonoreds story a little more
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Wait so just to confirm. Book Two will be 19 chapters long??? That's m a s s i v e. If books 2 and 3 will be turned into one, does that mean that, in the end, there will be 3 books instead of 4 in total? PS happy start of September and a good month to you
Yes and yes! I just have to figure out how to code a checkpoint system into the game which is… all my previous attempts have failed. 😭 But I need to learn it so that I can put it in Book One but, most importantly, use it in Book Two — where it'll be absolutely necessary.
#T_T#It's really confusing ngl#I always end up breaking my game one way or the other#WIsh we had a saving system integrated in the games but alas#Once I finish chapter 5 I'll take a bit of time off writing to learn the checkpoint system#the golden rose
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I think a lot of ppl correctly identify the problem of
'there is not enough resources for us'
& jump straight to the incorrect conclusion of
'so this other group of *fakers* must be stealing it'
so they have a tangible to blaim
rather than acknowledging the terrible truth that the purpose of the system is what it does & here the system is to pit disabled people against each other, pit abled ppl against all of us, & to keep ANY of us from accessing resources
#yes. this is about system discourse. no i will be actually doing it#anyways... i dont understand the point of being virulently anti endo. what does that serve us?#& honestly at a certain point it begins to come off as anti recovery#like sorry yeah. im traumatized & being a system is a hard struggle for me sometimes#but it doesnt have to be forever & im allowed to find the good in it. but most of these super anti endo ppl r just dead set on#traumagenic systems being deeply traumatized & disordered forever#ignoring the fact that getting better#healing & working to feel better doesn't have to mean fusing or integrating or giving up being plural#isnt that something that endos show us? that we can eventually lead happy fulfilling lives as systems even outside of other struggles?#idk whatever#fruitpost#fruitvent#untagged archive#alsoalsoalso.#most endos rnt pretending 2b traumatized or have DID so how would they even b stealing DID resources anyways??
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I really do think Toronto has significantly improved their depth since last year, scamurra / kluge / woods added to the forward group and kjellbin to the defense I think just raises the floor a lot in terms of players you can trust to eat hard minutes in the dzone. There’s still some parts of this lineup im unsure about (less because of the players themselves and more about the fit / if all of the players are being put in the best situations for their skill set) and it can still be very top heavy offensively / in terms of finishing but it’s overall just a much more balanced lineup than last year in that you can feel reasonably confident that all four lines have a chance to win their minutes
#the only other thing is bc kluge joined so late + worlds it’s hard bc she never got to fully integrate with the system#so I don’t think we’re seeing the best of her but she’s still a good player who’s a great get as a 13th forward#PWHL lb
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oops all omnimon but like. fighter mode sage y'know?
#sonic#sage#sage the ai#sage sonic frontiers#sonic frontiers#purp doot#she would mangle other titans in it too and the minibosses and shit but my hand is tired man#like the base form has 2 of the red arms. and she can morph them at will#as long as she has been exposed to the data before and integrated it into her system#yeag. wahoog. get digimonized idiot
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youtube
and heres a cover of the original JP ver of the ending B song from drakengard, tsukiru :) with teto our good friend teto
#vocal synth cover#openutau#utauloid#utau#kasane teto#i ended up using utau because tsukiru is so like. muffled and whispery and layered and intimate compared to the more#clearer and sort of ghostly sound of growing wings and i thought a bank with like some whispery appends like teto has would work nice#very fun! still learning how to use openutau vs original utau.... it glitches sometimes with the parameter panel#as someone who abuses parameters LOL but other than that it is very fun to use compared to original utau#nice using teto's openutau integrated bank too. god i love the voice colours system
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I change my vision depending on the selfship tbh
#riv rambles#I know some people have a set one but#I really do think depending on the selfship and the setting#the vision and the archon/message of said vision#would vary#like for example with alhaitham it’s electro because#I interpret electro vision wielders to be people of a specific ambition or goal#raiden and eternity or yae and freeing ei or dori and mora or kujo sara and being loyal to the shogun or cyno and upholding justice#there’s a hyper specific goal that all electro vision wielders are very centered and focused around that they are canonically vry ambitious#about achieving/maintaining#with alhaitham my selfship insert is very ambitious and dedicated to integration of desert children to the akademiya and just better#integration of the desert folks in the political system in general in sumeru#and with Wriothesley and Kinich it would be pyro because#I interpret pyro vision wielders to have one specific passion that they are very attached to#it’s not more so an ambition but more so a constant that they hold very dear and are passionate about#amber with the knights and klee with her explosives and lyney with magic and xiangling with cooking and yoimiya w fireworks + yanfei w law#bennett with adventuring and Hu Tao with business and xinyan with music and again the list goes on#anyway I think in the case of my selfship with wrio my insert is rather passionate about prison reform and in my selfship with Kinich it#centers around being passionate about the nation itself and natlan’s wellbeing/safety in an ongoing war with the abyss#and with ayato its cryo bc i think cryo vision wielders are people who have two sides of themselves constantly at battle#diona hates alcohol but makes fantastic drinks. kaeya conflicted with loyalty to his ancestry vs his nation atm. Eula conflicted with her#clan identity vs being a knight. Ayaka conflicted with duty vs living life as she pleases. shenhe and ganyu struggle between the adeptal#and human worlds since they’re involved with both#qiqi is alive but dead. freminet is loyal to the house of the hearth but wishes to also be free. and wrio ofc is in some ways a hero and#in some ways a criminal and those conflicting natures of his actions are at odds with each other very complexly so#ANYWAY#ofc again the list goes on but#for ayato I would consider my insert a cryo wielder because I think that being an arranged marriage#there’s conflict of duty vs personal choice and freedom but also not wanting to hold affection for him at first vs developing it anyway#labeling myself to one vision element for my insert all across the board I suppose leaves no room for the nuances of visions themselves
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that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this
please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it
(rambles in tags)
#murder drones#murder drones ep 8#murder drones spoilers#md ep 8 spoilers#have i literally ever posted abt md on here i fucking LOVE md. me specifically as an alter especially it is my fave show <3#i want to BE cyn fr fr. shes soooo gender envy#0ph3li4.txt#i would word my thoughts more but even tho im a system myself im SOOOO fucking scared other systems will say 'wtf are u on abt'#but like#i dont think uzi's experience is a 1.1 paralell with being a system obv but i think functionally itd be v similar (to my experiences)#the previous hosts of the solver. cyn included. are not alters per se. i dont think uzi would use that term for them anywayz. but they are-#part of uzi and her 'brain' and whatnot. yk?#kind of like a new host taking over#so like#cyn /solver might be the main one uzi has to deal with#but i feel like theres potential that she could deal with the other hosts too.#do you think original cyn is in there at all?#ugh im gonna get so much flack for using the wrong term so lemme just start I KNOW INTEGRATION AND FUSION OR WHATEVER ARE DIFFERENT!!#that being said#i prefer the term integration to fusion. so.#in this scenario / au whatever i like to imagine original cyn is integrated with another part. most likely solver itself.#and in our experience with alters integating (not universal!!). some of their traits/mannerisms wear off on that part! so solver probably-#gained some of original cyn's personality traits / mannerims. but is still its own person.#tessa could also be part of the 'system' even tho she wasnt a host per se#idk#im yappin#please send asks abt this i will ramble forever and ever
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Don't care how you feel about Chat GPT, it's helpful for us and here is how it views steps on integrating a DID system (under the cut).
This is written as if the host of a system wants to write these steps as a journal entry for other parts to see and comment on.
I as host want to work on integrating my system a little more for personal reasons. I'm leaving this here for myself to look back on but also if any other system out there want to look into integration as a possible healing journey.
Remember, ChatGPT can be wrong at times and it's recommended to also look to a therapist for integration tips, this is just for the mean time before we bring this up to our therapist later today.
If Integration or fusion isn't for you in terms of healing, please scroll past this post. -Host
1. Building a Shared Narrative – Right now, we all have our own perspectives on things. Maybe we could work on seeing our history as a collective experience instead of separate ones. Journaling about our shared life story could help.
2. Blurring Rigid Roles – Some of us have very defined roles (like [Alter 1] being the love protector or [Alter 2] stepping in for intimacy). Maybe we could explore how those roles can be more flexible instead of feeling like we have to act a certain way.
3. Expanding Emotional Access – Some emotions feel like they “belong” to certain parts, like how [Alter 1] holds intensity or [Alter 3] holds calm. Could we try sitting with emotions together instead of one part carrying them alone?
4. Unifying Relationships & Identity – Around [Favorite Person*], we tend to switch a lot based on needs. Would it be possible to feel like more of a collective presence with him instead of shifting so much? Also, when we say “we” as a system, does it feel like a shared identity, or do we still feel like separate people?
5. Practicing Small Moments of Fusion – Not full fusion, but testing moments of experiencing things together without switching. For example, could [Alter 4], [Alter 3], and [Alter 1] all enjoy a type of music at the same time without one of them “owning” the experience?
"*Favorite Person" in BPD Terms: someone who an individual with BPD intensely relies on for emotional support, validation, and reassurance, often viewing them as a source of stability and comfort (according to google AI)
#I want to mention that not all parts of my system feel comfortable with integration#even writing this out brings up different intense and confusing emotions between other parts#but there are some parts including myself that are okay with the idea of integration and fusion#did osdd#dissociative identity disorder#osddid#otherwise specified dissociative disorder#traumagenic did#actually did#traumagenic system#actually dissociative#complex dissociative disorder#diagnosed did
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Alright Trevor in IT.
I know we're both incredibly territorial little nerds, but this system integration is never going to happen unless you GIVE ME YOUR DATABASE SCHEMA.
I'm even prepared to hand over my own at this point even though I labelled all the table and field info you need for export destinations and if you move where anything goes in my system I will bite you so you don't really need it.
Seriously. This shouldn't be that hard.
#work things#like i don't want y'all poking around in how i do things either but this is ridiculous#also i mentioned the multiple ongoing integration projects to one of the building maintenance guys the other day#and he asked 'is that even possible to have different computer systems talk to each other??'#dude they speak the same damn language#it's beyond easy if the people doing system admin on them TALK TO EACH OTHER
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Do you ever think about how Nathan Arch is canonically Joey’s sugar daddy?
YALL HAVE A WILD DEFINITION OF “CANONICALLY” SOMETIMES
What we know (assuming there's no exciting new nathan lore im gonna discover when i read FtB, in which case don't tell me lmao), canonically, is that Nathan gave Joey a lot of advice about starting his company, some more advice while JDS was running and looked over the land for the Bendyland park with him, and that when things got real bad for JDS, Joey wrote to Nathan, hemming and hawing about how he normally definitely wouldn’t do this, to ask for a specific amount of money to help with the bills. We also can assume he’s a little older than Joey, since they were in the military together when Joey was too young to be in the military.
What is not hard AT ALL to read between the lines is that Nathan had a big crush on Joey Drew, source: every footnote in the Illusion of Living, several audiologs in BatDR.
What is certainly possible to believe is that Joey would never mention if Nathan was giving him consistent financial support, and that Nathan would similarly gloss over it, because he likes the image of Joey as a clever self-made man who deserves his success and wants to preserve Joey’s good name.
We actually don’t know if Nathan gave Joey any money, we just know that Joey asked for it, and that everything we know about Nathan suggests he would’ve been happy to help (and everything we know about Joey suggests he would’ve downplayed how much he really needed and thus the studio going under anyway does not mean Nathan ignored the request.) So it’s quite reasonable to suspect he did, but even THAT isn’t canon confirmed.
And, like, not to be That Guy except that this is my blog and I can That Guy to my heart’s content — giving someone money does not make you a sugar daddy. SUGAR DADDY IS A TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP and gay relations between Joey Drew and Nathan Arch are the realm of headcanon. LIKE, A HEADCANON THAT CAN BE VERY STRONGLY SUPPORTED AND ARGUED FOR, if someone told me "wow joey and nathan DEFINITELY had something going on" I would laugh and agree, but it's an interpretation nonetheless. You could make an equally strong argument that Nathan is closer to what the kids call a simp, praising Joey’s brilliance and helping him with his problems and eagerly paying his bills because of a huge unrequited crush that Joey took advantage of but never returned. There's several ways to read it.
But... I do think a lot about how these two stayed in contact, stayed friends, even though Joey always seemed to be playing a role around Nathan, never quite felt comfortable explaining the things he felt most passionately about. He tells him about Bendyland, but clams up when Nathan doesn’t understand why it matters so much to him. It doesn’t seem like Joey ever tells him about Audrey; even though Nathan can hear the joy in his voice and notes that his old friend sounds more like himself than he has in a long time, he never knows why. Nathan is so so so taken with Joey, but there’s something about Nathan that Joey doesn’t trust.
Interesting that Joey never does brag about Nathan investing in him as proof of his own business acumen, though he doesn’t mind bragging about the investment of a grief-stricken mother who only regarded him as a polite young man. What’s threatening, then, about the idea of Nathan supporting him? It’s interesting the way Nathan is fascinated with every part of him and Joey always holds himself at arm’s length. Interesting how Joey enjoys his company, but gets uncomfortable and changes the subject whenever Nathan regards him, positively, as someone who pulled himself up to success out of nothing. Interesting to compare Nathan to Kyle, the other rich friend of Joey's who gets called a “sugar daddy” by the fandom (despite being younger than Joey), how Joey is uncomfortable when Kyle prods him about his status and tries to take credit for him, and then the way Nathan doesn’t do this but Joey still shies away whenever he hits the edges of those topics. ...It’s almost more interesting if Joey was trying his absolute hardest to avoid Nathan funding him, despite the fact that Nathan was clearly taken with him and probably would have been happy to help. What strings were attached to Kyle that Joey was afraid to find in Nathan?
#sorry i know hes SO minor but kyle has become an integral part of my bendy belief system#ftr I do like the idea that nathan and joey had some Gay Relations and I believe they both genuinely like each other#but I think Joey is also hiding a lot of himself from the more guileless Nathan#even tho Nathan really did love Joey faults and all#i know you have questions you always do#we all write on the walls
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