#Is There Always A Smell With Bacterial | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

somber-sapphic · 1 year

Text

Stupid Lungs

Pneu-mo-nia; noun: lung inflammation caused by bacterial or viral infection, in which the air sacs fill with pus and may become solid. Inflammation may affect both lungs ( double pneumonia ), one lung ( single pneumonia ), or only certain lobes ( lobar pneumonia ). (wandanat x reader)

Word Count: 3513

(part two)

-----

“Y/n, you’re clearly too sick to be out of bed. I can hear your lungs crackling from here!” Tony exclaimed after what must’ve been your third coughing fit interrupted the meeting. He was standing in the corner opposite you, glaring. Unfortunately, the glare was undercut by the clear worry in his voice.

Tony was right about your breathing, it wasn’t great. Every inhale felt like glass cutting your throat which eventually moved to sit heavily on top of your lungs. Each coughing fit was wet, but refused to do anything to help with the mucus which had made a home in your bronchi.

“I’m fine.” You choked out, fighting to stifle a sneeze building in your sinuses. Sneezing would just make everything hurt worse. Naturally you lost, and aimed two unfortunately wet sneezes into your elbow. Instantly your cheeks flushed from embarrassment and you stared at the table as you wiped your drippy nose on your sleeve, wishing for a box of tissues.

“Get out, germ face.” Tony’s voice cut through the thick fog of congestion that had settled in your ears and you shot him what you wanted to be a devastating look. It wasn’t very good though, because your eyes burned and you couldn’t stop sniffling.

“Tony’s right, let’s go.” Natasha murmured, pulling you up by your arm.

“No, I’m staying. We-we have to–” You sneezed aggressively into your hand, tears pricking your dull eyes. You hated having so little control over your stupid, useless body.

“No, you’re not. FRIDAY, disinfect the whole room. Nothing that will kill us, just murder the germs. Y/n, I’m serious, I will drag you out of here by your hair if you don’t leave right the fuck now.” You knew that Tony wouldn’t go anywhere near you right now, but you wouldn't be surprised if Nat just threw you over her shoulder. Natasha’s hand had stayed glued to your back the entire time and she kept flashing you nervous looks.

“On it boss,” A vent opened and the smell of disinfectant filled the room, just in time for you to start coughing again.

“You need me to take you to bed?” Natasha asked, reaching out to take your hand. You pulled away, embarrassment flushing hot on your cheeks. You hated that Natasha had to see you like this.

You’d fallen in love with the woman from the moment you laid eyes on her. Everything she did was breathtaking. The way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, that little crinkle in her forehead she got every time she worried, how her hair seemed to glow in the sunset. But she was with Wanda. Wanda was a whole different problem. Oh, gods, Wanda.

You’d nearly died when you’d first seen her. Her auburn curls bounced when she walked, her brilliant smile that could light up a room, the way she was always so kind to you, especially when you’d first joined the team. You’d arrived five months ago riddled with uncontrollable social anxiety. These heroes saved you from yourself. You owed them everything, but your feelings for Wanda and Natasha were beyond anything you’d ever felt. And they were dating. So you got to watch their joy from the outside, wishing you could melt into their arms.

“I’m fine Natasha, I’ll go myself. Just,” You stood and a wave of black spots danced in your vision. The hand that had brushed your fingers returned and you pulled away tearfully.

“Please don’t touch.” You muttered, racing out of the room.

You made it to the elevator without collapsing, but as soon as you reached it you fell against the wall, a sneezing fit overcoming your body. A quiet sob escaped from your painfully clenched lungs, but it turned into a bout of miserable sounding coughs.

“Ms. Y/n, I believe that I should alert one of the Avengers. Ms. Maximoff is in the kitchen making something to eat, I will have her come to your aid.” FRIDAY informed, not really looking to give you a choice in the matter. You whimpered quietly, trying to get her to stop.

“N-no, please…FRIDAY, I’m fine. Don-don’t tell Wanda. Don’t tell Wanda. Just unlock my room and set up a zoom call. I’m still going to the meeting, even if they kick me out of the meeting.” The last sentence was said with a lot more confidence than you felt, primarily because you were hoping to trick yourself into feeling more normal.

“Ms., I do not believe that this is a wise decision. Ms. Maximoff would be happy to assist you

“I don’t care. As soon as I get off, sanitize the elevator.” You demanded, forcing yourself to regain your composure. You had a witch to fool.

Getting past Wanda was easier than you’d expected. The woman was caught up in her cooking, humming along to a song playing softly in the background. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched her work, sniffling quietly so as not to disturb her.

“Hey Y/n/n, meeting go well?” She asked, not really bothering to look at you, she was too busy cooking. Whatever it was, it probably smelled amazing.

“Hey Wanda,” You managed not to sound too congested, but it was notable enough that you sort of ran past her, not allowing the conversation to continue. You could feel her eyes on you as you left, the concern starting to build in her stomach. You always stopped to talk to her even if you were busy. Hell, you let her read your thoughts when you were on missions so that you could have a fucking conversation.

She shook her head slightly, vowing to keep her mind open to your thoughts. She wouldn’t pry unless you allowed her too but this way she could hear you if you were in significant distress.

—

“FRI, connect me to the conference room.” You mumbled, sort of collapsing onto your bed. If you were in bed you might as well get comfortable. You’d just managed to wrap a blanket around your shoulders when the team appeared on the TV screen, in the middle of a heated discussion.

“Hi guys,” You croaked, sniffling against the fabric of your well loved blanket. It was worn with years of love and had helped you through near countless nightmares. It was your most prized possession.

“No! FRIDAY, get her off. Now.” Tony ordered, practically leaping out of his skin at your voice. You’d scared him, and he was a little embarrassed.

“I-if you do that I’ll just come downstairs!” You burst out, wiping your nose on your blanket. There was a sneeze building in your sinuses and you were trying to keep it at bay. The Avengers were all staring at you from the other side of the screen, Natasha in open mouthed disbelief.

She couldn’t understand how you were still functioning. She’d half expected to hear FRI alerting everyone that you’d passed out in the elevator. You didn’t acknowledge her in fear that you’d just start crying. You wanted her to hold you. Well, you really just wanted to be held. But it would’ve been nice if she held you.

“Look, she’s not going to listen to reason. Just let her listen until she falls asleep.” Clint reasoned, shrugging. He was obviously concerned but he was also right. You shrugged, acknowledging it.

Deciding that all they could do was let you stay, they went back to the debrief, discussing how best to go about stealth tactics next time. A lot of it was centered around hiding better. For some reason Tony was really concerned with hiding.

“Heh…hetchiw!” You stifled a sneeze into your shirt, trying your best not to interrupt. Natasha’s eyes flicked towards you and you forced a small smile, sniffling wetly. You wished that you had tissues, not grabbing them was probably a bit of an oversight. Natasha just shook her head, one eyebrow raised. She looked down quickly, and then back up at you.

Your phone buzzed by your side and you picked it up, blinking a couple of times as you tried to focus on the screen. The words were swimming in front of your eyes and it hurt to…well it hurt to see. Your eyes felt like they were on fire and you recognized that you probably should’ve checked your temperature earlier.

My Assassin- You’re better than this x.

You- I’m fine, Tash, focus on the debrief or Tony will get mad.

You saw Natasha smirk from the video feed and she rolled her brilliant green eyes. She almost looked happy for a second, but then a particularly harsh coughing fit tore from your lungs. A glob of mucus filled your mouth and you spat it out into the trash can, trying to ignore the greenish tint. That probably wasn’t a good thing, but you’d deal with it later.

My Assassin- bullshit. your breathing is terrible, we might need to take you to see bruce. please go to sleep, i’ll record the whole damn meeting if it’ll get you to sleep.

“You’re done, Fri kick her off and lock her door. Sleep well Y/n/n.” Tony said, waving a hand at you. Before you could put in a legitimate protest the TV screen was off and your door clicked. Tears instantly filled your eyes, fear jamming its way down your throat. You couldn’t be locked in like this. You couldn’t do it again. No more. You needed to go.

“FRIDAY let me out! Let me out, please Fri let me out!” You ran to the door and pounded on it, jiggling the knob, desperation filling your actions. “Let. Me. Out! I need to get out, please, please out! Please!” You slid to the floor, banging your head against the hardwood. It was the only thing you could think of. There was nothing else left, this was the end. This was how you died.

A soft click brought you out of your panic and the door opened, spilling you out of your room and into a warm body.

Tears flowed down your cheeks as you clung to the person, chest heaving. You didn’t care who it was.

“Hey, hey I’ve got you,” Wanda's arms wrapped around your middle and you found yourself burying your head in her neck. The action was almost involuntary, as your touch starved brain melted into her, trying desperately to hold back sobs.

You shook against her with unheard cries, clutching fistfulls of her shirt as if she would disappear if you loosened your grip.

“Okay honey, just breathe. I’m right here. Can you tell me what happened?” She crooned, very gently running her fingers over your scalp. The pet name wasn’t lost on you, although you were too miserable to acknowledge the fluttery feeling in your chest.

“I don’t feel good…” You bawled, well aware that you sounded like a child. You were too tired to care anymore. This was the worst that you’d felt in a long time and your body craved the comfort that she brought.

“Shh, shh, that’s alright, we can fix that. It’s all going to be okay Y/n/n.” You sobbed again, her kind words sounding like a lie to your fever muddled mind.

“Why aren’t you in bed, baby girl?” She murmured, shifting so that she could stare into your dull, glass eyes. You looked away, biting your lip hard. Your face was streaked with tears and snot. You dragged your sleeve over your nose and sniffled wetly, trying to regain some dignity. The attempt failed epically, as it only served to make you look more pitiful.

“I…” You hesitated, and shook your head. You couldn’t believe yourself. You were clinging to one of the women you were in love with, ready to tell her whatever she asked. Ready to tell her that you were scared to be vulnerable and alone. That you were scared to be trapped again.

Wanda gave you a sad little smile and leaned forward to kiss your forehead. You froze automatically, your heart racing in your chest. Her lips were soft and warm, the kiss more tender than anything you’d ever felt. No one had ever cared for you like this and you didn’t know what to do.

You could still feel the pressure of the kiss on your heated skin when she pulled away and reached up to caress your cheek.

“You’ve got a pretty high fever, hun. Can we get you into bed?” She asked, voice impossibly gentle. You shook your head, not quite ready to explain that you didn’t want her to go and fearing that she’d leave as soon as you were situated in your bedroom.

“Hey, no, don’t cry, I’m not leaving. How about the couch? Would that be better? I’ll bring out your favorite blanket and get you some juice, or gatorade or whatever you want. Come on, I’m not going anywhere. It’s alright.” She soothed, swiping the tears away with her knuckles.

“Please don’t go away,” You begged, pressing yourself back against her. “T-tony locked my door…’scared me…” You admitted, worried that she wouldn’t understand. Instead of the confusion you expected, you saw rage. Pure, untethered rage. Her eyes glowed slightly red and you almost flinched away, afraid that she was mad at you.

“No, no. Not you, never you.” She pushed your hair away from your forehead, doing everything she could to fix her mistake. “Come on Y/n, let's get you settled on the couch.” She wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you against her side.

You dropped your head onto her shoulder and leaned heavily on her as the two of you walked to the couch. You were out of energy and you were now satisfied that she was safe. She’d never hurt you.

“Alright sweetheart, Natasha’s going to be done soon and she’s going to sit with you while I make some soup. Sit down for me, you’re swaying.” She took your shoulders and eased you onto the couch, stopping to stroke your hair.

“I’m going to get you some medicine. Just sit tight.” The brunette started to walk away but you snagged her hand, clinging to it tightly.

“Stay with me, please…please,” Your desperate pleas absolutely broke Wanda's heart. She knew that she should get medicine for you, but you were just so miserable she couldn’t bear to leave you alone.

“Hey, hey don’t cry, I’m here. I’m right here.” The mesmerizing woman sat beside you and without a second (or really a first) thought you curled up in her lap, sniffling and whimpering your misery. “Fri, can you get me Y/n’s temp?” She murmured, brushing a thumb across your heated check.

“Ms. Y/n is currently running a temperature of 102.7, I recommend hydration and medication. I am also detecting a buildup of fluid in her lungs, causing difficulty breathing. I believe that she has contracted pneumonia, seemingly from ignoring a previous illness. She will require antibiotics.” FRIDAY said, eliciting a curse from Wanda. She wasn’t thrilled that you’d ignored your health.

“My god, Y/n you’re an idiot. FRIDAY, get Natty up here. Tell her to bring Bruce.” You shook your head weakly, sniffling exhaustedly. A chesty cough wracked your body Wanda rubbed your back, trying to soothe the spasms. Breaths rattled though your lungs, harsh wheezes kept you from getting a deep gulp of air.

“Hey, hey I need you to calm down,” She soothed, pulling you up in an effort to help you breathe.

“C-can’t…Wanda!” You sobbed, terror blooming in your eyes.

“Okay, alright, change of plans. FRIDAY we’re meeting them in the Medbay. Baby girl, I know it's hard for you to breathe, but I promise that it’s all going to be okay. Sit up for me, sweetheart.” She pulled you up against your will, the petnames streaming out of her lips. You imagined this is what asthma felt like. Your chest was so tight and your body was fighting to cough up everything in your lungs.

“That’s it, that’s it, come on lean on me.” Wanda had pulled you against her hip, using magic to keep from dropping you. It wasn’t that she was weak or you were heavy, but dragging dead weight is a difficult feat no matter the circumstance.

“...’m sorry…” You forced out, dropping your head against Wanda’s shoulder. She rubbed your back as you climbed onto the elevator. Said elevator basically dropped the few floors to get you to the Medbay, although you didn’t feel the change of altitude. You loved the AI.

“You’re doing amazing. You’re doing so, so well. Just keep breathing for me. We’re going to get those lungs opened up in just a few more minutes.” Wanda murmured, scooping you up into her arms. You curled yourself against her, leaning into her warmth.

Only moments later the warmth left you. The body that had kept you safe was gone. You reached out for her, but your vision was starting to fade. There wasn’t enough oxygen getting to your brain. You couldn’t stay awake.

“Hey, hey no keep your eyes open. Keep your damn eyes open!” A harsh voice ordered, helping you focus on the real world. “That’s it, eyes open. Look at me, okay? Focus here. Bruce is going to put something over your nose, okay? It’s going to feel claustrophobic but I need you to keep it on.” Natasha, it was Natasha. When’d she get here? Did you fall asleep?

“Only for a second love, but now you’re going to take a breath okay?” Bruce's face swam into your eyeline and you didn’t fight it as the mask was slipped over your face. You knew logically that you were safe but the claustrophobia took over and you tried to pull it off, panic growing.

Your arms were pressed to your side forcing you to give in to the medicated air. You sobbed terrified, but your lungs were opening up, breathing was becoming easier.

“There you go baby, there you go. Deep breaths for me. It's all okay.” Natasha soothed, releasing her hold on your arm. As it became easier to breathe you calmed down, your body forcing your mind to relax.

“You’re doing so good, beautiful. This is going to help so much. We’ll get you feeling better in no time.” Wanda was stroking your hair, running long fingers through your matted locks. Now that you could breathe, you were struggling to stay awake. You were so tired.

“Bruce, can you fix her?” The brunette inquired, shifting to stroke your fever hot cheek. You reached out and grabbed her hand, wanting her to hold you.

“Yes,” Bruce sighed, sounding relieved. “She’ll need IV antibiotics and after this breathing treatment I’ll switch her to pure oxygen. Her lungs don’t sound great, but that’s to be expected. Pneumonia is a little tricky, but she should be okay.” He smiled gently at you and you returned it, grateful.

“Tired…” You mumbled through the mask, basically asking if you could finally take a nap. Natasha leaned down to kiss your forehead, and you nearly melted. Two pretty women had kissed you today. If you’d been feeling even half decent, you might’ve been able to enjoy it better.

“Go to sleep, we’ll be right here.” She promised, reaching out to grab Wanda’s hand. The other woman nodded, looking a little tired herself. You’d sort of stressed her out.

“Sorry…”

“Shush, no apologies from you. Just rest, okay? We’ll make sure that everythings okay. Bruce is going to put an IV in which will help with that fever and you should be feeling better in no time.” She reassured, allowing you to slip off into a dreamless sleep.

—

After about an hour Bruce decided that you were well enough to be moved back to your room, provided that the IV stayed in, as well as the oxygen mask. You were still virtually unconscious, but the women were beyond happy to bring you to your room.

Natasha scooped you up in her arms while Wanda rolled your IV poll along with you.

The gorgeous redhead placed you gently in your bed, smiling at the way you attempted to curl around her as she let you go. The moment she pulled away completely you let out a pitiful whine, reaching out at the loss of warmth. You wanted her back.

“Tasha!” You mumbled in your sleep, threatening to wake up in your effort to get to her.

“Aw, little baby.” She slipped her shoes off and crawled into the bed beside you, wrapping her arms around your shaking body. “Get in her Wands, she needs hugs.” Nat said, waving her over. The brunette grinned and laid down on your other side, grabbing your hand. You smiled tiredly and nuzzled into her neck.

“Think we can keep her?” Natasha murmured, sitting up slightly so that she could see her girlfriend.

“Thought you’d never ask.” Wanda replied, leaning over to kiss the spy. They'd talk about it tomorrow if you felt well enough to do so.

281 notes · View notes

batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months

Note

hi! I have a question about sexual health clinics - long story short I have a pretty strong fishy smell coming from my vagina so I'm planning on visiting the sexual health clinic at my college. I'm nervous though, and while you obviously couldn't know exactly what procedure is at my local clinic, I was wondering what general things should happen at an appointment? What sort of questions will I be asked? Do I have to show someone my vagina? Will they believe that I'm not sexually active? (true fact but doctors are ALWAYS sceptical when I say this)

hi anon,

you're right that this will vary from one location to another. if you're having a health issue with your vagina then your healthcare provider will likely be asking questions about your sexual history; whether or not they believe your answers isn't something that I can answer, although a good healthcare provider should, of course, listen to their patients. there's a good chance they'll want to perform an exam and possibly take samples, which is something to be aware of and prepare for but also something that you can call ahead and ask about.

you can also call ahead to the clinic and ask if there's information about what you can expect if you come in with a likely case of bacterial vaginosis (the most typical cause of the fishy odor you're describing) and request further information about what kind of treatment you can expect from your visit. knowing what to expect in advance can be a huge help!

if it does come to a vaginal exam and you're feeling nervous, that's totally normal! very few people enjoy vaginal exams, but it's totally possible to get through them with minimal pain. my best advice is to come in prepared for a little pain if you're not accustomed to vaginal penetration and have a really honest chat with the person performing your examination about your expectations. when I get my pap smears done, I always open by telling the gyno that vaginal penetration isn't super easy for me and that I may need to swear through the exam and take breaks if it gets overwhelming. every examiner I've ever had has been totally understanding and down to work with me on that; communicating can help so so much.

I hope everything goes well and you get the treatment you need!

#sex edventures 2024

37 notes · View notes

pasta-in-the-pudding · 1 year

Note

do you have any x-virus headcanons?? i’ve scrolled through his entire tag on tumblr and i’m DYING for new content 🙏🙏

RAHHH CODY <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

X-virus general headcanons

Pansexual, he/him, 22 years old

5'8"

He's very cocky and egotistical

Almost never thinks he's in the wrong

He enjoys painting his nails yellow

He works as one of the manors many doctors/nurses, however he specializes in viruses, bacterial things and anything related to radiation

He is absolutely the type of guy to send people links filled with god awful things

He is a hoe for rings

He always has rings on every finger

His proxy tattoo is on his palm

He has a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, a tongue piercing and his helix pierced

He's considered getting a belly button ring

But he decided against it because he felt like it would come off as "too feminine"

I feel like he would be obsessed with yin-yang imagery

He has a yin-yang necklace, tattoo, ring, etc

When he isn't working, you can usually find him in his room, playing roblox

He has a pet bunny named Jade

She is mostly black and she is his everything <33

She's the only small animal that's safe from his experiments

I feel like he would either smell really musty or smell of really strong cologne

You decide which one

He's very immature

In everything he does <//3

He thinks Jane is very pretty

He knows that she's a lesbian though, so he doesn't make any advances

Speaking of Jane, i feel like he'd be one of those guys that is like "omg goth girls are soooo hot" and then whenever they see an actual goth, they call them weird

Im so sorry <///3

He may be a genius, but he's a little stupid

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #x virus

73 notes · View notes

ukrfeminism · 11 months

Text

Some period pants sold by high street retailers contain high levels of silver that could have health and environmental implications for consumers, an investigation has found.

Silver is used as an antimicrobial agent and is typically added to period pants to combat user concerns about smell and hygiene.

However, scientists have increasingly warned about the potential health effects. The US Food and Drug Administration found that nanosilver can kill lactobacillus, the healthy bacteria in the vagina that help fight off infection. This can put period pant users more at risk of harmful bacteria, potentially leading to an increased risk of bacterial infections and pregnancy complications.

Natalie Hitchins, the head of home products and services at Which?, said: “Consumers should be cautious buying period pants which contain silver as experts have concerns about the health implications.

“Which? believes brands should also clearly state which products contain silver so shoppers can make informed decisions about what they are buying and the possible risks.”

The consumer rights group worked with an Italian consumer organisation, Altroconsumo, to independently test popular brands and check if they contained any chemicals of concern. They were worried to find that some products contained significant levels of silver, and this was not always made clear on the packaging.

Intima by Bodyform and pants by Marks & Spencer in particular contained notably more silver than other brands, at 126.7mg/kg and 57.8mg/kg respectively. Other brands contained 8.3mg/kg, 7.4mg/kg, and 0.9mg/kg.

Essity, the owner of Bodyform and Modibodi, said silver copper zeolite was used to “prevent odour when wearing the pants for up to 12 hours”. It added that all of its “washable underwear is certified according to Oeko-Tex Standard 100, which means that every single component has been tested for harmful substances” and “that the underwear has been designated as harmless for human health”. An M&S Spokesperson said: “We do not use either nano silver or silver zeolite and, like many brands, use a small amount of silver chloride in the middle part of the gusset – away from the skin – which is perfectly safe, approved by the UK and EU, and designed to combat odour.”

Which? said it believed the use of silver was unnecessary and that previous testing by Altroconsumo had shown that textile items treated in this way did not have the promised antimicrobial properties.

The European Chemicals Agency says silver treatments, such as nanosilver and silver zeolite, are toxic to aquatic life with long-lasting effects.

The tests Which? carried out can detect any silver above 0.1mg/kg, and it found none in Primark, Repeat, Wuka, Lovable and Sloggi pants. Sloggi’s website says it does use a silver-based antimicrobial, and Primark says it uses Micro-Fresh, which contains silver chloride.

A Primark spokesperson said: “The nature of period pants means there is a potential for odour to develop during wear (in the same way that bacteria can cause socks and shoes to develop odours during wear) and our antimicrobial finish minimises such odours.”

Sloggi did not reply to Which? at the time of publication.

There are no legal limits in the UK about how much silver can be added to period pants. Manufacturers do not have to declare the presence of silver on their packaging or website.

#articles #Health

46 notes · View notes

moopsy-daisy · 1 year

Text

Make Your Own Cosmetics, Get What You Actually Want

Once you've been in zero waste, eco friendly, solarpunk/lunarpunk circles for a while, it's easy to forget the steps you took when you started. There are lots of DIY projects I've been doing for 10+ years now, and I keep doing them because they work (for me). Yet, when I sit back and think "am I doing enough?" I always gloss over the myriad things that have become part of my everyday life.

Making these things won't save the environment, but you'll get products that meet your needs on your terms, will save you money, and you won't have to worry about a company discontinuing your favorites. Plus, it seems like a lot less packaging to just buy a brick of beeswax and toss in some kitchen stuff you already had to make makeup.

Henna

I got really lucky, I always wanted red hair and henna is a natural dye that only comes in red. Well, more of a coppery tone. But, here's the other cool thing: the henna process is anti-fungal and controls dandruff. Half the time, I remember to color my hair because my scalp starts getting itchy 6+ weeks later and I start to get flakes. Coloring my hair takes care of my scalp and I don't need dandruff shampoo to keep it healthy. It's cost-effective, buying high quality henna for a year's worth of color (for my length and thicc hair) is about $60 for 18-months' of materials. I mix it when I need it, and keep the powder in the freezer. Pro-tip, if you or your partner don't like the grassy, hay-like smell of henna, add cardamom or ginger powder to the mix. It doesn't change the color but it'll knock down the scent.

I learned everything I needed to know about Henna for Hair here: http://hennaforhair.com and buy through Catherine's store because I know I'm getting real, quality henna powder.

Oh and a cloth wrap for your hair will let you keep the henna covered without wasting plastic wrap every time you redo your roots. I've been using the same 'turbie twist' wraps for years now. I made them from old t-shirts and they're stained as fuck. Who cares? This is basically their only job.

Carmine Lip Color

No, it isn't vegan. Yes, it's made of bugs. It's also a spectacular color, the insects aren't abused in the process of gathering or raising. They're actually parasites on nopal cactus, they have a simple niche and serve it well. I learned this lip stain recipe from Humblee & Me, and have found that the anti-bacterial doesn't seem to be necessary, ymmv. A 2.5 gram sample pack of carmine from TKB has lasted me almost a year and I wear this almost daily. I find that the glycerin really helps keep my lips from drying out too badly, so I wear my lip stain even when I'm not planning on being seen by other people. I spend about $20 on lip color for a year and that's including the bottles I use to store it (tiny eyedroppers work best imo) and the glycerin. Not quite zero waste but darn close.

Note: I'm still trying to find a simple recipe for black goth lipstick that I like. So far, my attempts have had a nasty texture and aren't worth the trouble.

Eyebrow Fill

My favorite brand of eyebrow liner discontinued the best color I ever found, so I decided to make my own. Beeswax, cocoa powder, activated charcoal, and almond oil made a little pot of eyebrow fill that suits my needs beautifully. Go super light on the charcoal until you know you've got the color you want. My brows are pretty dark but not fully black, so I do a dark chocolate sort of shade. I think I made my last batch about 11 months ago and it's still half full. I use it daily, apply with an angled brush, and it's never given me breakouts or anything. I don't even wash it off, because I am lazy.

Body Powder/Dry shampoo

Growing up in California, I didn't need this stuff. Living in Oregon? Summer would be awful without body powder. It's also a nice way to have a fragrance on. Pour your favorite perfume (I love Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab oils) onto a cotton ball, put that ball in a jar with a bunch of corn starch. Shake. Leave it for a month. You now have scented body powder. It's a decent dry shampoo, too, I just brush it into my dark hair and it disappears.

Tooth Powder

There is NOTHING wrong with using conventional toothpaste if it meets your needs. I have particular reasons for using tooth powder. These include hating the taste of most toothpaste and needing to avoid fluoride because of my particular thyroid condition. (Fluoride isn't bad for everyone! It isn't ideal for everyone. Figure out what you need!) I make my own tooth powder, it works well enough for me and I don't hate brushing my teeth like I used to. 1 part baking soda, 1 part bentonite clay, some ground cloves. Mix it up, keep in a glass jar (metal will bond with the clay, bad things happen, this is why we use glass or plastic for storage). $20 of materials = LOADS of tooth powder.

Cutting Hair

It's way easier than you think. I cut my own hair and I do a graduated bob which is a little more complex than most at-home cuts. I taught myself. I use decent shears (don't use scissors) and a Wahl hair trimmer set. Learn this skill on yourself, and when people find out you can do hair, they'll come to you for their own needs. Great way to provide mutual aid (one of my parents is trans and getting haircuts in a salon would be extremely stressful for her, so I cut her hair and save her money and suffering). You could also do skill trades! I trade haircuts for massages from a massage therapist friend, for example.

Protip: Dust yourself with body powder before cutting hair, it makes the little shards of cut hair way less prone to sticking to you. You'll still want a shower but it'll just be less icky.

#diy #lunarpunk #solarpunk #carmine #henna #makeup

37 notes · View notes

darling-writings · 1 month

Text

@augusnippets day 18: infection

Akehurst was making an effort to be more professional than usual, sitting in the van outside of today’s illegal laboratory sweep. Sugar’s radio monologue from inside was harrowing, and he didn’t seem like he would handle Akehurst’s usual chatter very well.

“It’s. Not good in here,” he was saying. “I can see why this person’s neighbor called in complaining about the smell. It’s a graveyard. No living subjects, close to… god, it must be close to 50 dead.”

In a backyard shed that small? They must be piled up. Akehurst shuddered. “Sending Central a request for body bags, we don’t have that many.”

“No need. I have a box of plastic evidence bags that’ll work.”

Akehurst’s sick curiosity got the better of him. “How do you mean?”

“The bodies… should fit about right in those.” He sighed, Akehurst could picture him sliding his glasses up and pinching the bridge of his nose as he composed himself. “I’m sorry, I’m in breach of procedure. Let me try again. Subjects found in a series of aquarium tanks. Genetic tampering obvious, most likely done prenatally. Each is… well, they look like tiny little mermaids. Really. About the size of my hand. They must have been created here, the poor things. Lived and died here.” A shaky breath, in and out. Sugar always got attached, and always took it hard when he was too late. “All subjects appear to be deceased, most are in advanced stages of rot. It’s. Hard to look at.”

“Heard, Sugar.” Akehurst figured a joke about Sugar sounding ‘green in the gills’ might be poor timed, right now.

Sugar went quiet as he got to work sweeping the scene. Akehurst knew he wouldn’t be hearing any more from him until the corpses were removed. There was no way Sugar would feel comfortable sending over any files left behind by the perpetrator until they were seen to with respect. A few minutes passed, as Akehurst poked dully at a Wile-E Coyote bobblehead on the dashboard. Sugar’s voice, reappearing sudden and urgent on his radio, made him jump.

“Akehurst, tell medical I’m coming out with a living subject now. I nearly bagged and put him with the others. He’s in a bad way.”

“Roger.” Akehurst flipped radio channels to kick Doctor Weiss into gear, then hopped out, ostensibly to open the van’s back door for her. In reality, he just wanted to catch a glimpse of whatever Sugar was bringing out of the shed. He figured he was allowed to be as nosy as he wanted, as long as he never violated his NDA.

The back of the van was all ambulance on the interior. Akehurst had never seen Weiss anywhere that didn’t look like a hospital. He privately thought she might blink out of existence if she stepped out of a medical setting, even for a moment.

The sound of hurried footsteps and sloshing water turned Akehurst’s head. Sugar was carrying a 5-gallon fish tank, half full of filthy greenish water, toward the van as quickly as he could. Akehurst rushed over to help take the weight of it.

The smell of the tank was vile, moldy hard water and rotting fish. Inside it, floating limply back and forth in time with the sloshing water, was the specimen. The little fish-person looked like a betta from the waist down, bone-white from tip to tail, save for angry red discoloration around the edges of his frayed fins. These were disproportionately small, as if they’d been eaten away. His black eyes bulged grossly out of their sockets, cloudy and staring up at nothing. Most worrying were his gills, flushed a dark bloody red, spotted with fuzzy, bacterial white. They were alarmingly engorged, beating in time with the tiny subject’s labored breathing.

The Agents reached the van, and put the tank down on the stretcher inside. Sugar immediately turned to head back into the shed, all business now that there was a life he could save. “There should be records inside, they might tell you something about how to help him.”

“Good call,” said Weiss.

Akehurst gave a thumbs up to Sugar’s retreating back. “Radio us anything you find.”

Weiss pulled on a pair of rubber gloves. “Akehurst, find the biggest specimen jar you can, and fill it up with water. This dirty tank is clearly causing the subject distress.” She plunged her hand into the slimy water, and lifted the subject up so he was just barely submerged. His head lolled back against her middle finger, a pained expression on his tiny, pale face. She shone a penlight at him; his blind eyes didn’t change, nor did he react in any way, apart from continuing to struggle for breath. She asked the subject a few questions, but he didn’t appear to understand, lost in a haze of pain and sickness.

“I’m not sure transferring him is a good idea, right now,” Akehurst replied, rifling through drawers for a specimen jar anyway.

“Are you a doctor, now?”

“Nah, I’m just the guy that drives the van. But I do keep fish at home. And a quick transfer from one tank to another can shock a healthy fish enough to kill them. This little guy wouldn’t be able to take it.”

Weiss made a face that said she hadn’t expected Akehurst to have anything useful to contribute. “Good call. But we can’t leave him in this water and treat his infection at the same time. Radio central and tell them to find a marine biologist willing to sign an NDA, and to get a tank set up in the medical wing. Then start driving.”

Akehurst did as he was told. While he was on call with central, he watched Weiss let the subject float back down to the bottom of the tank while she found a bottle of antibiotic pills. She took one —nearly the size of the subject’s entire hand— and carefully crushed it, weighing out a tiny fraction of the powder. She repeated the process with an analgesic. The tiny portions of medicine-dust were then mixed with a few drops of clean water, and picked up with a pipette.

“Hey, little guy,” she murmured, bringing the subject’s limp form up again, this time letting his face break the surface. She held the pipette to his mouth, which was already open and gasping. “Can you drink this for me?” She let a drop fall into his mouth, and he managed to swallow most of it. The second drop, he refused, closing his mouth and turning his head away. It was a relief to see him move at all.

“I know, it’s bitter,” Weiss continued, “but it’ll help you. Okay, honey?” She fitted the pipette into his mouth, nudging it open, and squeezed the rest of the medicine in. The subject coughed weakly, spitting up what he couldn’t swallow.

Akehurst hung up the call, and radioed Sugar to tell him they’d send a car to pick him up later. He stood to head back to the front of the van, leaving Weiss cradling the subject in her hand, looking out of her depth.

Breaking the speed limit on the way back to The Organization’s central office was a given. It might give the subject half a chance at living long enough to receive treatment. Even so, Akehurst had his doubts.

#augusnippets day 18 #oc: demerara #oc: akehurst #oc: weiss #oc: tenacious #whump writing #giant/tiny

3 notes · View notes

jessepinwheel · 1 year

Text

happy may the fourth as a treat here's the entire uncut first chapter of race condition for you to chew on while I spend the next year or so finishing the story

All interrogations are kind of the same. The walls have slightly different coloring or there's a few chairs more or less, but in the end it's always a depressing room you're not allowed to leave, locked in with a person who thinks you've done something wrong and will do just about anything to get you to admit it.

It's not really about truth at that point. By the time you're under the hot lights, they've already decided you'll swing and are just waiting for you to supply the right noose. They know the game. They can twist your words around until they've got you saying things you never did or even thought of, anything so long as they can pin you and send you off to rot. It's like that every time--they'll tell you it isn't, but they're lying. You don't make friends in an interrogation.

I sat there, cuffed, across from a man with the same face as mine and sad eyes that could break even the hardest heart straight down the middle. He didn't look like a High General or a Master Jedi or an interrogator--he looked like a tired man who was trying his best, and maybe that's what he was. Maybe it really was breaking his heart to have to handle me this way, but it didn't matter. I'd known my plans would hurt people, even decent ones like him, and that made me sorry, but not sorry enough to stop. If he was anything like me, he would understand in the end. Maybe not enough to forgive me, but I wasn't doing all this for forgiveness.

At that point, we'd been at it for at least two hours, going around in circles. He was good at the questions game, but I was good at being difficult.

"Obi-Wan," he said in that Coruscanti accent of his. "Why did you do it?"

"You'll have to be more specific, dear," I replied.

"Infiltrating the army. Sabotaging Republic military engagements and stealing classified information. Collaborating with Sith. What's the point? What's your goal?"

I shrugged. "I didn't tell you the first ten times you asked, Master Jedi, so I don't see why you think I'll tell you now."

"I'm trying to understand," he said. "You're a reasonable man. You're loyal and intelligent and kind. Why would you betray everyone like this?"

It was flattering, I guess, that he thought so highly of me, despite what I'd done to him and was still planning to do in the near future.

"Betrayal only depends on your point of view, doesn't it?" I asked.

His brow furrowed. "Then what is your point of view, Obi-Wan?"

"You won't believe me," I said, leaning in towards him. "But Master Kenobi, I am trying to save the Jedi."

---

That's not where the story starts.

The story starts a lot earlier on a small trash-covered world on the Outer Rim called Lotho Minor. I'd never heard of it before a witch's Dark talisman had led me there. Even feeling the Force twine tightly around it as I approached, I had a hard time believing that anyone would end up on such a hellhole planet, much less stay there for any amount of time, though I suppose that hadn't been a choice. It wasn't my place to say how the Nightsisters' Dark magic worked, and wasn't as if Lotho Minor had a lot of functioning ships to go around.

It was obvious even from atmosphere that Lotho Minor was not a beautiful planet. Its entire surface was mottled gray and brown, covered over with refuse from other systems--the natural result of interstellar transport being simpler and cheaper than efficient recycling measures. Clouds of steam wafted off of the mountains of trash, either from the planet's natural heat or from bacterial decomposition. I landed my ship on the most stable-looking pile I could find and it creaked and cracked precariously under the weight. It didn't inspire a lot of confidence.

I stepped out of the ship, and even with a respirator the smell was revolting. From where I stood, the steam rising from the unpleasantly warm mountains of trash became endless fog that made it hard to see further than maybe a hundred meters and the sky was stained deep red from all the atmospheric contaminants. The very ground had an unsettling texture from the mix of broken droids and discarded electronics and rotting clothes and food, squelching under my boots on one step and crunching under the next. None of it felt very stable, and I could hear the low rumbling sound of piles shifting and resettling in the distance. I didn't like to think what could be hidden in these enormous mounds--they almost certainly didn't bother to sort their sharps or biohazards in a place like this. Not a safe place, indeed.

I ventured out, following the witch's talisman as its Force pressed against my mind and tugged me forwards. It was not a comfortable sensation--it felt almost like a compulsion and a malicious one at that, trying to claw into my psyche. It had been uncomfortable before, when I had reached orbit, but it was much stronger now that I was planetside, like an invasive weed putting roots through the back of my mind. It felt like obsession, as much of the Dark Side did, and it tried to push me faster and into recklessness.

I breathed deep and took hold of the feeling, then with a practiced hand, excised it. I was not a Master of anything, of the Force or the Light or the Dark, but only I controlled myself and I'd gone through too many of my own angers and obsessions to let someone else's undo me. I was here because I wanted to be, and I would go where I needed to in my own time.

Slowly and carefully, I descended the mountain, watching out for jagged edges and uneven footing all the while. The talisman led me through to a cave which appeared to be the hull of an ancient starship, corroded by chemical waste and partially collapsed from the weight of all the refuse piled on top of it. It was easier to navigate inside than outside--at least the floor was less likely to fall apart beneath me--but there was something supremely creepy about a dead dark rotting starship with all the systems down. Like walking through a towering corpse.

I lit a glow stick and held it out. Small device casings were littered everywhere, shucked for any valuable components and discarded. There were dark streaks across the floors, which I could only assume was blood or other body fluids, and heavy scrapes and scratches across the metalwork like from enormous claws. A few parts of the corridors looked like they had been haphazardly slashed with a lightsaber--out of anger or frustration, if I had to guess.

Even without the talisman, I felt I was close. The Force grew colder with the Dark Side the further I went, flowing slowly and thickly like sludge. It clung to me as I ventured deeper, like hands trying to drag me down into a deep dark hole where I couldn't escape. Someone had hurt here, very badly and for a very long time. I didn't like to think about the implications.

I followed the tracks back to what may have once been the ship's command center. Through the door, there was a muffled humming sound of a working generator. The door jammed slightly when I pushed, and I had to lever my mechanical hand against the frame to get it open. The inside reeked of death.

The first thing I noticed was a jury-rigged broadcasting box sitting on what used to be the data terminal dashboard. It was pretty big, large enough that I wouldn't be able to get both arms around it, and it seemed powerful, like the long-distance transmitters used for distress signals. Chances were, that was its intended purpose, though it wasn't currently operational--my ship would have received the transmission.

The second thing I noticed were the piles of discarded food containers and small animal bones and rotting skins littered across the floor. It seemed that even on a planet that consisted of only refuse, there was still a little sustenance to be found, whether it was refused packaged foods or vermin. Having scavenged for food in much the same way in the past, I could sympathize, though even I would balk at having to survive on it for as long as the size of the piles implied.

The third thing I noticed was the body.

It lay in the corner of the room, a Zabrak with red skin and black tattoos that were stark even under the dim light. It was sprawled on a mass of twisted metal, and it was only when I stepped closer that I realized the body was missing a bottom half.

"Oh, Maul," I murmured. "What happened to you?"

Maul remained senseless as I approached him. He was breathing shallowly and I could still feel the Force moving within him, so he was alive, though not by much. Closer inspection revealed the pile of metal was not droid refuse as I had suspected, but an actual cybernetic prosthesis, a grotesque one with too many limbs. It seemed to have been grafted directly to Maul's abdomen, without even a proper neural port or other surgical mount.

I grimaced. My experience with cybernetics was limited to what was necessary for my mechanical hand, but it didn't take an expert to realize that a bad surgery and a non-matched species prosthesis made for a very bad time.

I took it apart. I didn't really have a choice--Maul was clearly in no state to move himself and there was no way to carry both Maul and his enormous arachnid lower half all the way back to my ship. He could get a new prosthesis--a proper one--after we got off this hellish planet.

I was careful, but there's only so much you can do with a prosthesis that isn't designed for removal and I felt Maul's Force curling in pain as I used my multi-tool to cut connections and pry away layers of metal. It took maybe an hour to strip everything down to the crude socket, an ugly thing like a ragged and open wound in durasteel alloy. Looking at it directly, it was obvious that Maul had not had the luxury of a proper cybernetic technician, nor of any sort of post-op care. The socket was badly fitted, chafing against inflamed scar tissue all around his abdomen, and the prosthesis itself didn't look like it had been serviced once in the last decade. Maul's entire experience with cybernetics must have been excruciating.

I pulled my cloak off to make a sling for carrying Maul back to the ship, and it was in the middle of easing him into it when his eyes snapped open, the Force around him swirling like tongues of fire.

His red-and-gold gaze directly met mine and his lips curled back into a snarl. "Kenobi."

So at least he remembered me. They didn't seem like good memories.

I couldn't feel the Force the same way that Jedi did, but I didn't need that to feel the utter hatred spiraling out of him. I felt him lash out with the Force, whether trying to choke me or otherwise, and I tightened my grip on him.

"Maul," I said. "Calm down. I'm getting you off this planet."

Maul screamed something at me that sounded like a threat of bodily harm, which was pretty impressive considering his physical state.

I didn't have the time or energy to deal with it. I wanted to be off this planet as soon as possible, and the last thing I needed was Maul trying to strangle me on the way there. I pressed hard against Maul's diaphragm, driving the air out of him, and pushed my Force to my voice and said, "Sleep."

Maul flinched from the command, the scream dying in his throat.

"Sleep, Maul," I said, the Force vibrating through my words. It sank into him easily--he was too unbalanced or too unaware to keep it out. "You're safe now. I'm getting you out of here. Sleep."

Maul growled at me again, fighting it, but his eyes slipped closed as unconsciousness took him. When he was well and truly asleep, I secured him in the sling across my back. He was feverish and one of his horns dug uncomfortably into my shoulder, but he was so light that he was easy to carry--and not just because of the missing legs. He needed a lot of care, the professional kind. He needed it a long time ago.

"All right," I said, more to myself than to him. "Let's get off this dump."

---

I'm not a fan of hyperspace.

I'm not a fan of space travel in general, but hyperspace is the worst--it's a big reason why I settled down in Coruscant ten years ago with the intention of staying indefinitely. Hyperspace is empty and endless, and for someone like me who can feel the Force a little bit but not nearly enough, it's like staring straight into a black hole.

Dead and dark.

The only good thing about hyperspace was that it was dead time with nothing better to do, which meant I could finally sit down and think about what the hell was going on.

I had a lot of questions. I'm not unobservant--I can tell when things don't add up, and at the moment, a lot of things were not making sense. Least of all the half-a-Zabrak laying on the cabin bed, deep in Force-induced sleep.

Less than a tenday ago, I had killed Maul. I had shot him dead, a bullet through the heart, and held him until he breathed his last. Three days ago, I had arrived on his home planet of Dathomir and spoken to his family and buried him there according to his last wishes. His mother, the witch, wasn't happy about the situation, not that I expected her to be. She must have taken issue with Maul's death, because she did some kind of Dark magic on him, and maybe on me, though I don't know what--between the strength of the Dark Side on Dathomir and her magic, I blacked out pretty early on in the process.

When I awoke, she shoved a talisman into my hands and led me to a ship and told me to retrieve her son. I asked questions, obviously, but she wasn't in much of an answering mood. From what little she deigned to explain, Maul who was dead was no longer dead, and also on another planet several light years away, and this somehow made it my job to get him.

Fine, okay. I had killed Maul, so the least I could do was grab his resurrected self off whatever planet he'd landed on. I'm not the kind of scumbag who only cares about someone once they're dead, and I'm not the kind of idiot who tries to get on the bad side of a witch who's powerful enough to bring her son back to life, so of course I took the ship and the talisman and went. Magic could bring Maul back to life and resurrect him on a completely different planet than the one he'd been buried on? Sure, whatever. I didn't know a damn thing about magic, and as Master Jinn had once said a lifetime ago, through the Force all things were possible. I could suspend my disbelief long enough to check it out for myself.

I couldn't suspend my disbelief for this.

Maul--this Maul--was not the one I remembered. It wasn't just that he was missing his legs. It wasn't just that he was even more gaunt than the last time I had seen him.

It was that he had a cybernetic socket that looked like it was installed several years ago. It was that he had clearly lived in that alcove in that ancient starship for months, if not years.

The Maul lying on the bed beside me had no scar over his heart--not one where I had shot him dead, nor where Master Jinn had run him through with his lightsaber eleven years ago. I could believe that a magical resurrection might give him more injuries and scars, but to take them away? And not even all of his scars--only the one? That didn't make sense. It was too arbitrary.

This Maul was not my Maul. I could believe that. So why, then, had he recognized me? That didn't seem possible. I was missing something big. Until he awoke and answered some questions, I had no way to find out what.

I sighed and left the cabin. Maul would wake up in his own time, and I would feel it through the Force when he did. Hovering wouldn't help either of us.

I paced the ship slowly, Maul's lightstaff a heavy weight on my belt. That was another thing I couldn't reconcile, when to my knowledge his lightstaff had been stored in the Jedi Archive vaults eleven years ago after Master Jinn collected it from Naboo.

I didn't like to carry it--it's not right to carry a kyber crystal that isn't yours to begin with and the Force around this one was so volatile it was almost physically painful to touch. The crystal felt like it was weeping.

It made my heart hurt in a lot of ways. I hadn't ever seen a kyber crystal treated so cruelly--they were sacred to the Jedi and the Guardians of Jedha both, and respected as companions and for their connection to the Force. Kyber wasn't sentient the way a creature is, with discrete thoughts and feelings, but it was still alive in the Force, and it could hurt and care as much as anything else. For a Jedi, a chosen kyber crystal was practically an extension of the soul, and mutilating one this way was desecration of the worst sort, both to the Force and one's self.

I didn't know why Maul would do something like that--I asked the crystal, but my connection to the Force wasn't deep enough to understand anything from it except vague impressions of pain and blood. I suppose that was answer enough.

It would be nice to believe that Maul had been coerced into it all by his Sith Master and that he was really a decent person deep down, but chances were, that wasn't true. I already knew he was cruel. He had hurt himself and he had hurt others, and all things remaining equal, he would do it again.

Until I knew what was going on, until I knew it was safe, I would hold onto his lightstaff. I don't think Maul's kyber liked that very much, but it seemed to accept the necessity of it. It didn't like me much, either. I could respect that.

I went to the ship's kitchenette, not really out of a desire for food but just to keep moving. Hyperspace made me restless no matter the circumstances--a tendency that had greatly annoyed Jango in the years we had collaborated. Only now, I didn't have Jango to spar me to exhaustion. I was effectively alone in a two-cabin cruiser that was older than I was, whose previous owners were now assuredly dead by the Nightsisters' hands. I supposed I ought to be grateful it still worked at all.

It was a good thing I wasn't hungry, because the kitchenette had very little in the way of sustenance--mostly nutrient powder and other preserved foods which were edible enough, but whose taste, I had found out, had not improved over the years. Food was food, but I sincerely hoped that once we landed I could restock with something a bit more palatable.

Just then, the door slid open and the ship's astromech rolled in, a somewhat junky KY4 model that had gone through some hard times. Its chassis was a small box of about knee height with three omni wheels for movement and a wide-angle ocular sensor on top--an outdated style, but functional enough. I moved to the side so it could roll without tripping me, and it chirped to me in response. My Binary wasn't great, but I got the gist--that all systems were running steady. It was the third time in as many hours it had come to tell me so.

"Thank you, KY4. How much longer will we be in hyperspace?" I asked.

KY4 chirped that it would be about two more hours, then rushed to reassure me its navigation processors were completely functional and that there would be no problems with its calculated course. This was, again, something it had done multiple times over the course of transit.

"I believe you," I said. "Did you need anything else?"

KY4 chirped a negative and skittered off without waiting for a response.

I let it go. Droids might not have feelings the way a person did, but they tended to develop personalities if they went too long without refreshing their firmware, and for better or for worse, KY4 had been alone long enough to discover anxiety. Considering the fate of its previous owner, that was understandable. I didn't know much about dealing with skittish droids, or droids in general, but I'd give it space and maybe once it was used to me it wouldn't feel like it had to flee the moment it stopped talking. Chances were, it didn't know what to do with me under these strange new conditions. It would probably take a while before it felt like it was on level ground.

I guess that made two of us.

---

True to KY4's calculations, we dropped back to sublight just over two hours later. The two of us piloted the ship into low orbit over a small ocean moon known as Bantu IVb, the only inhabitable moon of six orbiting a gas giant in the Dothikan system on the Outer Rim. It was excessively obscure and there was very little notable about it except that I knew a medical professional lived there--Solis Greer, a Mandalorian Duros and acquaintance-slash-sort-of-family-member of Jango Fett. I knew about her because thirteen years ago, when Jango had picked me up with a crushed mechanical hand and a shoulder recently stabbed through with a lightsaber, he had brought me here for treatment.

It was a stretch to say that Solis and I were friends or even friendly--she had obviously known Jango well, but I was only ever her patient. Still, she was level-headed enough that I felt confident she wouldn't shoot me in the face before I could ask her to help Maul.

We held the ship in low orbit and I sent a transmission requesting landing clearance. Even on a planet without a spaceport, that was only polite.

The responding transmission arrived not ten minutes later, to the effect of "who the hell are you?" and also "where did you get those landing codes?", except in much coarser language. I guess Solis didn't remember me--it had been thirteen years, after all.

I responded that I was an old friend of Jango's, and that I had a patient in need of medical care. There was a little more back-and-forth, but about half an hour later she sent me a set of coordinates where I could land safely and said that she would meet me there. I thanked her and started the descent to the planet's surface.

It wasn't an easy landing--Bantu IVb had heavy winds and my ship was not designed for a single pilot with only one fully functioning hand, but between me and KY4, we made it down with only a minimum amount of damage. We landed on a rocky outcropping a few kilometers inland from the shore.

I stepped out onto the bluish shale, getting a feel for the slightly lower gravity, and breathed deep. The air smelled just like I remembered--damp and a bit metallic from dissolved mineral deposits. There were no trees on the island--or at all, if I remembered correctly--giving me a clear view of the moon's enormous oceans with gray hydroturbines and clumps of red algae floating in the distance. The skies were cloudless and tinted greenish-blue, with a large hazy orange crescent hanging a few hand-widths above the horizon--the gas giant this moon orbited. Despite the apparent barrenness, it was far from dead. I could feel the Force all around, flowing in slow currents from plant and animal life hidden just below the water's surface. It wasn't for me, but it was as good a place to live as any.

I felt eyes on me before I heard the footsteps. I turned to face them.

Solis stood ten paces back, in full armor with her blaster rifle aimed at my face. It was not, in short, the welcome I was hoping for. I held up my hands slowly.

Solis did not put the blaster down. "Why come here, Kenobi?" she asked in heavily accented Basic.

Okay. So maybe she did remember me, though everyone seemed unhappy about that lately. "Solis," I said. "I'm sorry for arriving without warning. There's a patient in the ship who needs medical care. You were the only medic I knew who could also do technician work. I have credits--I can pay." I didn't have too much, but it would be enough for this. "If you don't want me here, that's fine. Just tell me where I can go, and I'll leave."

"How do you know this place? Where do you know my name?" Solis demanded.

"I…what?" I asked. "Solis, you treated me, remember? Jango brought me here after I got stabbed with a lightsaber. You told me to get phrik plating for my hand."

This, if anything, made her angrier. "Do you hear words you're saying? Do you think I'm fool, jetii?"

My mind came to a screeching halt. "Jetii? Solis, I'm not a Jedi. I can't even use the Force. You knew my name; don't you remember me?"

"Only fool doesn't know your name. It's on all the HoloNet for the last year." I could hear the sneer in her voice. "High General Obi-Wan Kenobi."

That froze me.

That's a title I had never wanted to hear--one I never thought I would hear. I'd had my war on Melida/Daan and it had cost me my place with the Jedi Order, my hand, and the Force. That was enough war in a lifetime for anyone. Given the choice, I would never pick up that mantle of command again.

My mind whirled. Solis had recognized my face from the HoloNet, because I was apparently High General Obi-Wan Kenobi. A Jedi Master, maybe even a Councilor. That didn't make sense, but it was the start of a picture I could just about see the outlines of.

Solis didn't remember me from thirteen years ago because I hadn't come here thirteen years ago. Like Maul, this Solis was not my Solis.

Or, perhaps more accurately, I was not their Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The very idea of it was absurd. Not just that I could have somehow slipped from one reality to the next, but also that it could happen without my realizing it.

…But I had blacked out. The Force had taken me on Dathomir when the witch had done her magic, and she could have done anything then. Maybe even send me to another universe entirely.

I had a hard time believing it--anyone would--but it fit. It was why Maul was stranded on a distant trash planet for so long, bisected at the waist. It was why Solis would call me a Jedi when I had never told her about my connection to the Force or the Jedi Order.

The whine of a charging blaster coil shook me out of my thoughts.

"No words to say, jetii?" Solis asked.

"I--Solis…" I trailed off weakly. I didn't know how to play this. I didn't have enough information. "Solis, I don't know how to prove this to you, but I am not a High General." Just saying the title made me feel sick. "I'm not a Jedi."

"Playing no-memory now?"

"No, that's not--that's not what I meant. I mean, I'm not the Obi-Wan you know. I'm not a Jedi, Master or otherwise--I don't even have the Force. I'm a private detective on Coruscant and have been for the last ten years. I have my license in my pocket if you want to see it."

Solis tilted her head to one side. I couldn't see her expression under her helmet, but she seemed willing to humor me. "Give it," she said.

I tossed my wallet to her. She caught it with one hand and flipped it open, all while keeping the rifle aimed at me. She looked over my license, then went on to my other ID cards, which was frankly rude. When she seemed satisfied with what she saw, she closed it and tucked it into a pouch on her belt.

"Uh," I said.

"You get it back when I think I trust you. You say you know Jango?"

"I lived with him for two years. We worked together on jobs."

"Jango Fett works with no people," Solis said, then switching to Mando'a, "He certainly did not work with a beansprout like you."

"Don't call me a beansprout until you've fought me," I said, switching languages myself. "I've sparred Jango with or without weapons and won. I could do the same with you."

She paused. "You've got his accent."

"I should think so--he taught me the language," I replied. "He taught me a lot about fighting, too, which I'll happily demonstrate sometime after my friend gets medical attention and when you don't have a blaster pointed at me."

She looked over to my ship, where KY4 was sitting at the base of the ramp, doing the droid version of pacing nervously. "What condition is the patient in?"

"He's stable, but it's pretty bad. It's best if you see him yourself."

Slowly, Solis lowered her blaster and gestured to the ship. "Fine. Show the way, Detective. This isn't over, though. You owe me an explanation--one that isn't full of shit."

I was pretty sure that in this particular case, even the correct and full explanation would sound full of shit. Still, I said, "I'll be happy to explain what's going on as soon as I know what's going on. You said you have a HoloNet connection?"

---

The first thing I did once we transported Maul back to Solis' infirmary and she kicked me out to do her work was lock myself into a fresher and make sure my body was still mine.

I looked at myself in a mirror, visually tracing my features--same gray eyes, same nose, same mouth, same beard. I went on to catalog the scars across my body, from Melida/Daan to the lightsaber scar through my right shoulder to that time I got shot pushing Bail out of the way of an assassin--scars that a hypothetical Jedi version of myself shouldn't have. Everything seemed accounted for.

My hair was still the same length, coming down to my mid-back with singed edges where it had been recently sliced by a lightsaber and my mechanical hand looked like it was supposed to--prosthetic halfway up my right forearm with phrik plating. It was the same simple but robust Jedha model with limited motion in the wrist I was supposed to have. A Jedi wouldn't have chosen a model like this--it wasn't flexible or sensitive enough for saberwork.

I let out a slow breath in relief. By all accounts, I was still me. I didn't know how it could be otherwise, considering my clothes had remained the same through the transition between worlds, but there was so much I didn't know about the situation. I had to be sure, that's all.

The second thing I did was use a borrowed datapad to search myself on the HoloNet. Doing so was…overwhelming.

It took no time at all to find that Jedi Master--a Master at thirty-five? What the actual hell?--Obi-Wan Kenobi was a highly-regarded diplomat known for his calm disposition and charisma who had resolved hundreds of cases of governmental unrest or other diplomatic affairs across the galaxy. Now, with the Clone Wars, he had become notorious for his strategic brilliance as a High General of the Republic army. He wasn't just at the head of the war. He was the face of it.

My stomach churned at the thought.

There were holos of me--of him--everywhere. Candid snapshots, publicity holos of him interacting with younglings and soldiers and senators, blurry holovids of him deflecting storms of blasterfire with his lightsaber--

It was too much. Just about everyone in the Republic must know his name and face, and that was absolutely horrifying.

I found myself staring at a short holovid of him at some kind of Senatorial event--it didn't matter which one. He was dressed up in traditional Jedi robes and tabards and his hair was cut short, cropped at the nape of the neck, and he talked with a distinct Coruscanti accent, the way I used to when I was younger. His face looked just like mine.

That could have been me. In another life, in this life, that would have been me. Not a Temple reject who left the Order after less than a year of padawanship, but a man who fulfilled his dreams of becoming a Jedi Knight. A man who never had to leave his family in the Temple or become permanently disabled in both body and spirit. A man who was respected for doing good across the galaxy.

A perfect Jedi, they called him. Serene, level-headed, and competent--not angry and impulsive like I had been. Not a failure like I had been.

I didn't want to see this. I accepted a long time ago that the Jedi life was not the life for me, but what was I supposed to do when I saw evidence to the contrary so starkly? Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi fit. The life fit him so well that there wasn't any other path he could walk. He devoted himself to the Force and to helping others because that's where he was meant to be.

What did that say about me?

I don't know how long I sat there, staring at that holovid, looping again and again. All I know is that when I came back to myself, I had my face in my hands and the datapad was somewhere on the floor, timed out to sleep mode. I shook myself roughly to snap out of it. Time and place. There was a time and place for those thoughts, and it wasn't now. Jedi Obi-Wan was a personal problem, and I would deal with it later.

Right now, there were more important things to find.

I reached the datapad off the floor and booted it up again to search recent events--surely, my failure to become a Jedi was not the only divergence from what I remembered.

Well, it didn't take long to find out two key points: First, the Battle of Geonosis was fifteen months ago, making it now almost an entire year later than when I had left my world, and second, the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic was still one Sheev Palpatine.

Sheev Palpatine. The Sith Lord.

---

"Solis."

Solis looked up from her data terminal in the infirmary. She wasn't wearing full armor anymore. She'd never explained that to me--maybe as a medical professional it was inconvenient, or the years in near-isolation since Galidraan had made it less important. She looked just as I remembered: purple scaled skin, red pupil-less eyes, thin face, no hair, and a cybernetic left arm with a hand that didn't match--I vaguely recalled she swapped out different hands for different types of work. She had the same strange ageless quality that most Duros seemed to have, and except for modifications to her arm, she hadn't changed at all in the last thirteen years.

"Detective," she said tonelessly in Mando'a. I guess I'd made a good enough showing that she assumed I was fluent--which I was. "What do you want?"

"Is there a test you can run to see how old I am?" I asked.

"Shouldn't you know that already?" she asked. "You know what year you were born. Surely basic arithmetic isn't beyond you."

"I want to make sure I didn't black out for an entire year." Most likely, I had traveled through time as well as across dimensions, but the idea that I possibly hadn't--that I had been in the grip of the Force for an entire year on Dathomir where the witch could have done anything to me--made me nervous. I had already meditated for a while and verified that the Force within me was all mine, but I wanted the extra reassurance.

"Is that a…common issue with you?" Solis asked.

"Nothing that drastic, but I've had episodes," I replied, which was a mild way of saying my soul occasionally, annoyingly, left my body. "Can you find out my age or not?"

Solis hummed. "Hypothetically, yes. There's no magic indicator in a human body that tells you the age of the germ cell, but I can make an estimate based on certain biomarkers and gene sequences." She glanced back at me. "I would need to take needle biopsies."

"That's fine," I said. "Can you do it now?"

"Impatient, aren't you?" she tutted. "You haven't even explained what's happened to you or your friend yet."

"I don't think you'll like the explanation, but I'll tell you what I know now, if you want."

Solis thought about it for a bit, then said, "Fine. Go change into a gown and sit. I need to finish something first."

I nodded and did as she asked. It was a quiet wait, and not too long--maybe only fifteen minutes. Solis finished what she was doing, then had me lay prostrate on a bed and hooked up a vitals monitor to my arm.

She paused before prepping my back. "That's a lot of scarring," she said. "Does it hurt?"

"No. They're from a long time ago."

"Okay." Solis wiped the area clean. "Do you need general anesthesia?" She asked as she set up the appropriate medical droid.

I shook my head.

"All right." She held up a small hypo. "This is a mild nerve disruptor--it's to suppress pain and make it so you'll stay still while the medical droid does its work. It'll last about ten minutes. If you don't want that, the droid can use mechanical restraint instead."

"I can't use most painkillers--I'm allergic to spice."

"This is a different class of drug. It's not a spice derivative."

"Injection is fine, then."

"Okay. You'll feel a pinch in the side of your neck." She jabbed me with the hypo. It did, in fact, pinch, and I could feel an uncomfortable pins-and-needles sensation move down through my body. She stepped back and disposed of the hypo, then took a seat in front of me. "Now we let the droid do its work and in the meantime, you can explain what the hell is going on."

Considering the circumstances of my arrival, she had been very generous. An explanation was the least of what I owed.

I gave her what I could. I told her about where and when I had come from, and about Dathomir's witch and retrieving Maul from Lotho Minor and finding what I'd found on the HoloNet. She let me say it all without interruption, though all told, the story wasn't very long--I had only been in this universe for about two days, of which large parts were spent in hyperspace. Even for me, that wasn't a lot of time to accomplish anything.

"You realize this all sounds insane," Solis said after a long pause.

"Sure, I do. I hardly believe it myself, and I'm the one it happened to, but it's my best guess for what's going on," I said. "I don't really know how to prove it to you."

The medical droid beeped, indicating it had finished its work, and Solis checked its console report. "All three samples are good. I'll have these processed and I can calculate your results after I deal with your friend." She put some bacta patches on my punctures, checked my vitals, and helped me sit up as the drug wore off. "Crazy as it is, Detective, I believe you."

"You do?" I asked, rubbing my lower back. It throbbed a little, but it wasn't bad. With the bacta, it would probably be better tomorrow.

Solis nodded and returned my clothes, turning away so I could put them on with some privacy. "You seem smart enough to come up with a more believable cover story if you were lying, but honestly if you ignore the ridiculousness of it, your explanation makes the most sense. I checked your IDs--they're all legit, except for the fact that they shouldn't exist. You have Jan'ika's landing codes and you speak with his accent."

Jan'ika. Cute. He would have strangled me if I ever called him that.

"And of course, there's your hand," Solis continued. "I'd know my own work anywhere--it would be a pretty big coincidence if anyone besides me designed that. You said I suggested the phrik plating?"

"For defense against lightsabers, yes," I said as I got dressed. "The good news is: it works. The bad news is: even if it can stop the blade from cutting, the heat still gets you. My port got seared pretty badly and I had to get a new hand." I straightened out my shirt and sat back down on the bed. "I'm decent."

Solis nodded. "Well, we already knew the heat would be a problem, but the phrik kept you alive, didn't it? That means it did its job." She handed me a glass of water. "This will help with the pain."

I accepted the glass and drank. It made me feel better, more because of the water than the medication in it--I couldn't remember the last time I'd had anything to drink. Back on the ship, probably.

Solis sat down. "So. You've traveled from one universe to the next. What are you planning to do now, Detective?"

That was the million-credit question.

This galaxy was at war, and had been for over a year, Separatist droids against Republic clones. It was even worse than I had imagined it could be--worlds burned out, millions of people dead, and there was no end in sight. That alone made me ill, but there was more to it than that.

Chancellor Palpatine, the single most powerful man in the Republic, was Maul's Sith Master. He had told me that back in my universe, and there was all the evidence that it was the same in this one--the man had risen to office in the same way, and operated the Republic in the same way, accumulating power towards some horrible end that I couldn't yet see.

And nobody knew. This universe had progressed a year further than mine and nobody knew that the poison was coming from the very top of the system, flowing down to everything underneath--the army, the Jedi, the Republic itself. The circumstances that had led to my discovery of this deceit simply didn't exist here.

A low voice in the back of my mind murmured that I didn't have to do anything with that. This wasn't my universe. This wasn't my business. My concern should be returning to my own world, perhaps with Maul in tow, and going back to Coruscant to my life as a private investigator. It would probably even be easy--the witch had sent me here, so she could very well bring me back.

But I couldn't do that. Palpatine was plotting for a genocide--the genocide of my people. It didn't matter that they weren't my Order or my family. They were the Jedi Order, and while I could never be one of them again, I couldn't let them die just because this universe wasn't mine. I couldn't let a war so great and terrible go on when I could reasonably find a way to end it.

That only left me one option. "I…think I have to end this war."

Solis, to her credit, didn't laugh. "Easy enough to say. How will you do that?"

"I don't know. I know who's behind it and I know what he wants--the end of the Republic and the Jedi Order, and a powerful apprentice to serve him." Maul had told me that much, back in my universe. "I can't let that happen."

"If your problem is one man, then remove the man," Solis said. "Jan'ika taught you how to do that, yes?"

I shook my head. "It's not that simple. This man's got support that runs deep and his pieces are already moving. He's had years to prepare. If I go straight for him without any preparation, he'll kill me and a lot of other people, too. I don't even know if killing him will stop his momentum. I…need to figure out what he's trying to do, first."

That was the crux of the problem.

Palpatine was not stupid--he had a plan, and he was putting it to work as we spoke. How did you destroy a Republic and a people and a culture? Orchestrating a war and forcing Jedi to serve at the head of it was all well and good for thinning the numbers, but it wasn't as if all Jedi could serve in a war, nor would every Jedi who fought in the war fall. A war would find the Order depleted and weary, but they would recover, and I couldn't imagine Palpatine being satisfied with that. Attrition wasn't enough. There had to be something more. Something decisive.

I thought about the Republic's army, the millions of men with Jango's face, commissioned to fight for the Jedi. Jango had hated the Jedi, yet he had agreed to help build an army to fight for them. The Jango I had known wouldn't have done that--he would have died before helping the Jedi who had destroyed his home and his people, so why had he agreed? Even beyond that, the Jedi Mind Healers had detected some kind of Darkness within Captain Rex's mind--was that coincidence or somehow part of this plot, too?

That was the problem--I simply didn't know enough. I knew the man behind it and I knew the end goal, but not the path between the two.

Back in my world, I had gathered evidence against Palpatine--fraud, corruption, and other unsavory deeds--and given them to Bail, who had the resources and the support to raise a political movement against him. I had informed the Jedi High Council of the Sith Lord in their midst. I had spoken to soldiers about the conspiracy that might be brewing from the moment they were commissioned. In my world, a world where the war had only started, that may have been enough.

In this world, with a war that had dragged on for so long and a Chancellor who had gained unprecedented power and influence and the time to place his agents everywhere he needed them to be, there was no way. He was too well-rooted to be taken down unless I uncovered all of his schemes one by one and burned them out beyond any hope of recovery. If I couldn't do at least that, nothing I did to Palpatine would matter, and people would die.

"If you want my opinion," Solis said after a long silence, "I think you will need help to pull this off. I don't know what man you're trying to hunt down--and I don't need you to tell me--but he sounds powerful."

"He is very powerful."

"Then you'll need to fight smart, and you'll need help. Even the strongest fighter can't be in more than one place at a time, and it sounds like you'll need to be in more than one place at a time."

I nodded. "Is that an offer, dear?"

Solis sighed and clasped her hands. "No. You're a friend of Jan'ika's, so I'll help you if you come here, but this fight is yours, and I have my own duties. You're not the only one who comes flying in needing medical treatment."

"I understand."

"I have no love for the jetiise," she continued. "I can't blame them for killing us the way they did--it is only appropriate that the strong survive and the weak perish, and if we did not want to be cut down we should have been stronger before challenging them--but their victory ushered in the end of the True Mandalorians. I can't forgive that."

I bowed my head. "I understand."

"But the jetiise are yours, so you fight for them. It's one thing to hunt and kill in battle, but another thing entirely to purge an entire people, their home and culture and younglings included. There's no honor in that. I wouldn't wish it on anyone." She folded her fist over her chest. "So fight, Detective Kenobi. If you think you can end this war and save your people, then do so. Destroy the man who threatens your family and make it so he can never hurt anyone again."

I folded my own fist over my chest, hardening my resolve for what had to be done. "I will. I'll learn his plans, I'll dismantle each one in turn, and when I've rooted out all his traps and contingencies…I will kill him."

#fic: race condition #most of the chapters aren't this long #I just had to make sure I established everything about the premise of race con in this one #anyways #back to my hole now to write the second half of this fucking long story

30 notes · View notes

cleos-monastery · 1 year

Text

As someone with sensitive and dry skin, this summer is only getting hotter and as someone who lives in a hot and humid country, I took my skin care to a new level for it to adapt to this environment! .ೃ࿐ Skin Type: Sensitive Skin (face) Dry and Sensitive Skin (body) LONG READ AHEAD! 🍯🩰🧸🪡

୨⎯ MORNING ROUTINE ⎯୧(DURING BATH) 🛁🫧🌅 -Before anything else, I cleanse my skin with an anti bacterial soap. ↳Product that I used is a local antibacterial soap (Safe guard). You can use anything as long as it gets rid of the build up first.

-I use a body scrub only twice a week (Wednesday and Sunday) to get ride of the clogged dirt in my pores and remove the dead skin cells and product build up and overall just leaves your skin feeling fresh and clean and improve my skin texture. ↳Product that I used is Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt and Body Scrub/ Human Nature Volcanic Cooling Body Scrub

-I never forget my shower gel and I always love how affordable and gourmand this smell is! ↳Product that I used is Bath and Body Works Strawberry Pound Cake Moisturizing Body Wash

-Next up is lotion. As someone who has scars on my legs growing up from bites and battle scars (me tripping and falling and scarring my legs) it has hindered me. Hydration and proper knowledge with ingredients that can help scars fade is a must. I believe Niacinamide and Vit. C has great contribution with lightening those scars.↳Product that I used is Avon's Green Papaya and Calamansi Lotion/ Vaseline UV Extra Brightening Nourishing Niacinamide Lotion

-Can't forget about my fragrance. I alternate gourmand and flowery and powdery scents. I mostly use fragrance mists! ↳Product that I used is Fairytale by BnBW, JOY by BnBW, Marshmallow Pumpkin Latte by BnBW. I use a oil-based perfume its Cassiopeia and I love it so much! ୨⎯ MORNING ROUTINE ⎯୧(FACE SKIN CARE ROUTINE) -I usually do not wash my face with cleanser but I only wash it with water. (Ik this is controversial but this has been my routine since I was still a teenager.)

-I use an ice cube that I froze over night to depuff my eyes (eyes only!)

-I apply my moisturizer. This moisturizer really hydrated my skin especially this summer. It has a lot ingredients that can help you with hydration and at the same time making your skin youthful and glowing! It is lightweight and just perfect for this summer!↳Product that I used is Beauty of Joseon Dynasty Cream -I apply my sunscreen. Genuinely love this sunscreen, the only sunscreen that didn't make me breakout! Never ever forget sunscreen! ↳Product that I used is Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence SPF50+ PA++++

-Next is my face mist/facial spray. Gotta keep the skin hydrated and fresh! ↳Product that I used is Evian Brumisateur Natural Mineral Water Facial Spray.

I always keep my morning routine simple since it's hot and humid here. I also bring with me a bottle of water and keep aware of what I eat and avoid eating foods that are oily and cause allergic reactions to my skin. ༉‧₊˚.

୨⎯ EVENING ROUTINE ⎯୧ (DURING BATH) 🛁🫧🌆 -Still the same from above! I just do not overdo my scrubbing part and keep my skin hydrated! -୨⎯ EVENING ROUTINE ⎯୧(AFTER BATH/SKIN CARE FOR FACE) -Double cleansing your skin is that it removes the make up/sunscreen as well as remove those dirt that has built up through out the day. It also helps with absorption of your serums and other moisturizing products.↳Product that I used is Banila Clean it Zero cleansing Balm and Senka Perfect whip for cleansing foam

-I cannot forget my serum! Gotta love how lightweight this is and how it brightened up my dark spots! It has 5% niacinamide and love how this niacinamide worked and saved my skin.↳Product that I used is Axis Y Dark Spot Correcting Glow Serum

-Another serum that I cannot gate keep is this local brand/product in my country! It's Cica Skin Repair Serum Soothing Gel from Ever Organics. You can find any alternative skin care serums/gels that has cica as I swear that this ingredient has helped me with my reddish spots and helped me stop my break out! I genuinely love love this product.

-For spot treatment, I use this only when I have breakouts (I rarely have breakouts nowadays, probably during period days only!) ↳Product that I used Face Republic Calming Spot Oint Gel (I only bought the sachet one)

I think it's essential for us to take care of our body, not just our skin. Our body is our temple and we must good care of it. It's never too late to start and take care of your body. Take care of yourself not to impress others but as a form of self love. I think we should remember and remind ourselves to love and appreciate ourselves. ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎˚୨୧

I hope this post has reached all of you needing inspos or don't know where to begin. I'm still a growing account after all! But I'd like to share with you all what has helped me. Can't wait to have moots too! 🎀🩰🪡

34 notes · View notes

stunt-lads · 19 days

Note

Whats wiping front to back? Is it where you start wiping at the top near the tummy area to the butt?/genq. I always wipe fro the bottom to the top area

Yes! It's starting around the clitoral area and moving backwards towards the anus.

By doing it the way you do, back to front, you run the risk of getting fecal bacteria into the vaginal opening and causing some serious bacterial issues.

It's hard to retrain our brains but I definitely recommend trying to in this case. Bacteria like that can cause infections and really mess with the natural pH balance of your vagina which can lead to, again, infections or a smell.

#also this is not said in a judgemental way bc i know not everyone had someone to teach them #my own mother was a nurse and while some things have changed since her time raising me #other things i was privileged to learn from her and proper vaginal care was one of those things #i did end up learning on my own as well bc again things have changed including the understanding we have of #things like douching and such but yeah no im rambling #IM JUST SAYING im here to help ànd this will always be a judgement free zone for stuff like this #ask #anon #ecks barks back

3 notes · View notes

umbralsound-xiv · 1 month

Text

Something Needed.

Bexy Amalaryssia paces quietly through the Shroud, almost idle; her gaze dances between the trees every so often, but she appears in no rush, much less with any destination. Ears high on her head, it doesn't take long before they pick up the sound of someone nearby, attention moving to the source of the noise, before her painted lips pull into a smile. "It's not often i run into a friend in these parts, Neoma."

Neoma Eltanin was so engrossed in her task that she did not notice the soft footsteps approaching before the sound of a voice caused her to almost jump before turning around. Looking surprised at first, it did not take long before a smile appeared on her lips in return. "Oh, Bexy! Forgive me, you surprised me." She laughed before approaching the familiar face. "I was collecting cottonwood buds, they grow plentiful in these parts of the Shroud. Where are you headed?"

I wasn't going anywhere in particular, though it's always nice to see a friend. It's been a while since we've had chance to talk properly, though it's not like we don't see each other around the house.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Coerthas, but not for any purpose. A walk, perhaps. Maybe training. I usually go with Sayuri, but she's been spending time with Eir, so i thought to wander myself. Though, running into a friend is a far more pleasing prospect." She glances to the vegetation, eyes narrowing in some contemplation. "..What are they used for? Something for the infirmary?"

Neoma Eltanin: "Ah well, she is married now after all. And they've moved into a place of their own. I can imagine it takes up a lot of their time." She adjusted the satchel she was carrying so that it sat more comfortably on her shoulder. "They can be used to make tincture or infused oil to help respiratory congestion or bacterial infection. Seeing as the trees grow to be so tall they are hard to cultivate in the greenhouse." She glanced down at the path. "Mind if I join you on your walk?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…True enough. We still see each other most suns. I can't be -that- upset about it." A small pluck of her shoulders is offered, huffing a small smile. "Mind? I welcome it. Though i can just as soon walk somewhere else, if you're not wanting the cold?" Bexy asks, head tilted. "…Understandable enough. I learned a little of some flora when i was a child. Though i've forgotten most of it…"

Neoma Eltanin couldn't help but huff amused at Bexy's slight pouting. "Oh, I don't mind the cold terribly much. Of course, I don't handle it as well as you do. After you!" She nodded with a smile, signaling that she was waiting for Bexy to lead the way. "I would be glad to teach you about flora if you'd like, though I fear I might talk your ears off."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "What, listening to a friend talk about something she dearly loves?" Bexy asks with a smirk, leading on along the path. "What's your favourite flower?" She asks, head tilted over her shoulder.

It was a question i'd not ever asked her, despite knowing the favourites of most of those close to me. Perhaps when i learn what it is, i'll bring her some if i find any on my travels. ...Flowers have meaning, too.

As Bexy started to walk, Neoma followed, hurrying her steps just a bit so she could walk alongside her. "Oh dear, you're starting with the hardest question," she laughed. Pinching her chin for a moment, it didn't take her too long to answer. "There are so many flowers I like, but if I could only pick one, it would be lilacs. I have such fond memories seeing them bloom in my village and smelling the wonderful scent everywhere."

Neoma Eltanin tilted her head with a curious smile. "I already know your favorite flower. Azeyma roses, right?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Lilacs are nice. Purple was a favourite colour of mine, once. Still fond of it, mind. Your village sounds like a lovely place. It is in Yanxia, yes?" She asks, before nodding her affirmation. "Azeyma roses, yes. I… Usually bring them as offerings to her. Or to put on the shrine in my home. Mist gifted me a book on flowers for my namesday, some cycles ago. Flowers, and their languages. It was a pleasant read."

Neoma Eltanin: "It is why I so often dress in the color myself," she responded with a pleased smile. "My village lies in Yanxia, yes. To the north of the city of Doma. It's been quite some time since I was there, but the smell of lilacs always brings me back." She raised her eyebrows a touch at the mentioning of the book. "Oh, what a lovely gift! Have you found any use of the knowledge in it?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I've arranged a few bouquets as gifts with deeper meanings. Though it's been some time since i've done so." She takes a few further steps in thought, before speaking again. "…How long is it since you ventured there, last?"

Neoma Eltanin: "Hm?" Neoma looked at the aetheryte in the settlement ahead of them before her attention returned to Bexy. "To Fallgourd Float? I admit, it is not often I am in these parts of the Twelveswood. But I tend to be on foot around Eorzea more often than I am not. I take it you make this journey quite often?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Often enough, but… Not quite what i meant. I mean… To your home. Near Doma." Bexy smiles, glancing to Neoma.

Neoma Eltanin: "Oh!" Neoma covered her mouth momentarily, feeling silly for misunderstanding. "Gosh it must have been back when me and Dusk were traveling around together, before we joined the company. I have received letters from my mother saying they are doing well, but… Maybe I ought to visit sometime soon." Neoma's gaze fell as she was lost in thought for a moment. "I've had so much on my hands here in Eorzea… I will make sure to pay my village a visit sometime soon."

She never speaks of her family so much, but when she does it's usually with a smile. I wonder what they're like? If they're all as gentle and kind as her?

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…Some cycles ago, for certain…" Bexy trails, though her smile softens a little at the mention of her letters. "…I'll admit i've had something of an… Unquenchable wanderlust, as of recent. I want to travel, and yet… I'm worried for home. I'll miss everyone terrible. Enough that… I haven't yet gone. Being away for so long… How do you cope?"

Neoma Eltanin listened carefully as Bexy expressed her thoughts. Her eyes wandered to the path ahead of them before their focus returned to Bexy, accompanied with a warm smile. "Knowing that wherever I go I always have a home waiting for me brings me comfort, even during long travels. It is a reminder that while I am in faraway places, I am not alone. Someone somewhere is thinking of me and ready to welcome me home with open arms." The smile persisted as she looked up at the clear blue sky above them. "I often get it, that wanderlust. A desire to travel and see new places, an adventure." Again she looked at Bexy. "I think you should follow it. The longing. Know that while you are away, someone is thinking of you and is with you. Not in body, but in spirit."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…I know. And i say i will, and… I can't bring myself to. What if something happens, and i'm not there to protect them, or to help? I have not… Always had someone waiting to welcome me home. Or some place to return to. Not until… This. The company. It's part of what makes it so hard to leave…"

Neoma Eltanin: "Bexy… I know you think you have to protect everyone all the time. But it will be okay. You know those who reside in the company, you know you can rely on them. On us." She lifted her hand to gently place in on Bexy's arm. "Don't hold yourself back out of fear, it will be alright. Trust in the strength of your comrades."

...She always knows what to say. And though i know she's right, that they would likely fare fine without me, it's... ...I'd miss them. I don't... Have another family who loves me, like the one here. Seeing them smile as they go about their suns, or a greeting in a corridor, even if it's all i hear from them all sun... I don't know if i could ever tell any of them what that means to me.

Bexy Amalaryssia glances to Neoma's hand as it gently laid on her, smiling faintly, if not a little sad. "…I… know. I know that. Consciously." She murmurs, lowering her gaze. "…One sun, i will. I'm not ready to, just yet. But i will, eventually."

Neoma Eltanin nodded as her hand fell back to her side. "Of course, when you are ready. I understand you are worried. Where were you thinking of going, once you head off?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Thavnair, perhaps. I've heard nothing but lovely things about it, especially from Sayuri and Eir. Failing that… Tural? I'd take Laurent with me, of course, if he wanted to go. I used to wander so much in my younger cycles. But then, that's perhaps why my want for home is so strong…"

Neoma Eltanin: "Ah, I've never been to Thavnair! It sounds beautiful. Quite humid and warm, I have heard." She seemed to struggle containing her curiosity at the mentioning of Tural, accompanied with a very surprised expression. "Tural..! That is so far away… What a journey it would be. It sounds wonderful to make such a journey. Have you asked him about it?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I've mentioned wanting to travel. He seems agreeable to it, excited to see more of the world. Though, the warmth of either place won't have any bother for either of us. Me with my ice, or Laurent with his warmth. Just…" A small laugh, and a bittersweet smile. "Everyone may well be fine without me, this much is true. But as for me? I… Think i'd miss you all too much."

Neoma Eltanin parted her lips just a bit in what could be considered silent surprise, before her expression shifted into a caring, tender smile. "… We are your family. Of course you would miss us. It might even feel frightening. But you will know when you feel ready to make that journey, Bexy. And when you do, it is going to be a wonderful experience."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "It will. I look forward to it as much as i enjoy staying home. Though, returning with tales to tell is an exciting prospect." She smiles, walking further up the road. "Is there anywhere you've always wanted to go, and never been, Neoma?"

Neoma Eltanin: "Well, you just mentioned one of those places," Neoma laughed. "I would love to see Tural, it sounds like it would be incredible. See the strange flora and fauna, meet the cultures and learn about their traditions and cuisine." She glanced ahead of them as they kept walking, feeling the air getting all the more chill which caused a momentary shiver. "I would also love to see Sharlayan and see their vast libraries. The amount of knowledge there must be incredible to see."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I'd like to see the scenery. I hear of a vast library of… Things, beneath the city proper. Not books, but… Creatures. Plants. An artificial sun, of all things. Though i don't know how much truth to it there is. Suppose i'd have to see for myself, hm?" She smiles, before hesitating a moment. "Are you -sure- you want to walk all the way through Coerthas with me? I don't mind going somewhere else, you know?"

Neoma Eltanin: "I've heard of it too! If it is true, it is quite remarkable. An entire artificial ecosystem… It is nearly incomprehensible to imagine." She stopped for a moment in her steps at the question and looked down at her attire, realizing that she was in fact not dressed for the weather in Coerthas. "Oh, well… I admit, I am not exactly prepared for the climate… But a little should be fine, right? I can get back rather quick with teleportation magicks, after all."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "True enough. We won't go so far, hm? I usually walk all the way up to the Western highlands, but it's much, much colder out there."

I can feel the cold in all it's different intensities, but it never bothers me. Much the opposite, actually. It's comforting. ...Though i can't say that opinion is usually shared amongst many others, save perhaps some Ishgardians, and Sayuri.

Neoma Eltanin: "It is, yes… Alright, I will follow for a bit. This cape is rather warm and should offer some manner of protection, and I am wearing boots. I suppose if I'm lucky I might find a spare sweater somewhere." She laughed softly at her joking comment.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…Or a stray sheep to make one." Bexy smirked. She was joking. Half joking, at least. She doesn't know how to knit. "Do you enjoy being in Coerthas, Neoma…?" Bexy asked as she rounded the ridge, as flurries of snow grew quickly heavier…

As the cold wind hit them and the ground slowly became white with snow, the little hairs on Neoma's arms began to stand on end when she felt the chill surround her body. The cape was properly draped around her body to offer more warmth. "Hm? Ah, I can't say I exactly enjoy it, but I do not dislike it either. It is rare I have reason to travel to Coerthas, so I think it is rather fun whenever I get the chance." She looked around at the changing landscape. "I do wish I had gotten to see it before the calamity changed it so."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…It was nice. Green and verdant, full of rolling hills and evergreen trees. I can understand why the Ishgardians mourn it, so." Bexy walks a few paces further, unfazed for the cold despite her usual sense of dress. "But, i think it holds it's own strange sense of beauty…"

Neoma Eltanin kept observing the ever white landscape, watching as the sun cast glimmering light to reflect upon the snow-clad ground. "It is beautiful. And life still thrives here, even if it is different. It might not be the same as it was… But it is still here, with man and beast both occupying the lands, as they have done for eons. It is remarkable how resilient life can be…" She blinked when she realized she was rambling. "Ah, forgive me. It really has been some time since I was last here."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Often, people are quick to condemn change. To shun it, rather than accepting what it is. Speaking from experience…" Bexy smiles, opting to walk towards the river. No sooner does she outstretch her boot to meet the water, it freezes, to create a makeshift 'bridge' to the other side.

Even if Neoma was used to Bexy's prolific use of ice magick, it was still remarkable to behold as the ice bridge extended across the river. "Change is never easy. But those who accept it also learn to make peace with it." She smiled at Bexy as she spoke, waiting to follow her.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I lamented what the aether had done to me at first. Warping my appearance. My perception of the world. But… I soon learned to harness it effectively." Crossing the bridge, she waits until Neoma is clear of the river, before the ice dissipates into the wind with the rest of the snows. "…Sayuri's aether is as it should be, now. Stronger, she says. I… Don't know how informed you were of the situation, but… She let Q'kura live."

Neoma Eltanin glanced over her shoulder to watch the bridge dissipate before she turned back to Bexy with a surprised expression. "She is? Oh, I'm so glad she is doing better… Was it thanks to Q'kura you were able to find a solution..?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Him and a number of things. The beasts we felled in the Burning Wall, my aether, and his knowledge. I was… So sure she would kill him, after the fact. I wouldn't have begrudged her for it, considering. But she chose to spare him, and possibly, if he stays true to his word… Ensure others like Vex make it out of the compound."

Neoma Eltanin: "That is… She has all the reason to wish nothing but harm upon them for everything, and yet…" Neoma's gaze fell for a moment in thought. "… I… know you and I have very different opinions regarding the value of someone's life, Bexy. But I… I am glad Sayuri made the choice to spare him. Someone has to take the first step to end the cycle of blood."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "We have the same opinions regarding the value of life. Just… Differing opinions on the preservation of it." Bexy replies, matter-of-factly. "…Asides, he had very little option. He betrays us? He dies. He fails to convince Grym? He dies. He either succeeds, or perishes, and both outcomes are entirely in our favour."

While Neoma could not resist thinning her mouth at Bexy's comment, she did not argue against it either. "… A rough spot to be in. But… If it means less people will get hurt by their actions…" She lifted a hand to rub at her other arm, both for extra warmth and to distract from the puzzling thoughts. "… All these happenings have been an unpleasant reminder of the time you were kidnapped. When we thought you dead, only to find you on the brink of it. Gods…"

...How many times have i danced with death, now? When Y'vhala had me? Surely, but far from the first time, or even the most recent. When Dusk had run me through, or... When i'd been left for dead in Coerthas before i had my ice. Or when i'd been stabbed in the chest... I still have the scar. ...Many more times i can't think of, likely. And plenty more to come, i wager.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…The closest i've been, for certain. But not the only time." A small roll of her shoulders is offered, but she keeps walking. "I don't tend to speak of it much. It's a strange thing, because it's not all so… Awful, as you might think. With me supposedly dead, the company was… Fine enough. Upset, as to be expected, but fine. And i learned a few things about myself, amidst my confinement."

Neoma Eltanin lowered her head as they continued walking, watching the snow as it got kicked up from their steps. "… I know. It… it is still awful. You know how much people care about you, Bexy. Me and so many others…" She looked up at Bexy, hearing her final statement. "Learned things..?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…Y'vhala. I'm not afraid of him. Not like how i used to be as a younger woman. He's just a man. Blood and bone like the rest of us, felled with one good arrow if i aim true enough. What could he possibly do to me that hasn't already been done? I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of anyone. Besides…" Bexy gazes down, arms extended. What skin was on show held no scars, save for one a few ilms long between her ribs. "Plenty of people have tried to kill me. I'm… Not sure they can."

Neoma Eltanin glanced at the scar that was on display, an unusual sight considering Bexy's otherwise impeccable skin. "… I should be glad if it proves impossible," she said in a half-joking manner. "While you are hard to kill Bexy, you can still get hurt. You can still feel pain. You have a life, and I want you to treasure that life. I do not wish you to live in fear, but… I also do not wish for you to be reckless. I remember just how bad of a state you were in when dealing with Grym's men."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…I know. That won't happen again. I'm not so reckless as to throw my life away trying to find out. Don't you worry for that, Neoma." Bexy offers an attempt at a reassuring smile. "It was… Just a musing, is all. I'm no longer the scared, obedient girl i once was. I learned that there was nothing he could do to me to make me afraid, save for… One thing…" Bexy's gaze slowly trails to Neoma's horn, brow knit.

...He could have hurt me all he pleased. What is pain, but a reminder that you're still alive? A reminder something is hurting, but you yet live? But to hurt the others... My family. My friends... I couldn't stand it.

Neoma Eltanin tilted her head, noticing the shift in Bexy's expression. She simply observed Bexy for a moment before offering her a soft smile. "Well… You have grown. Even during the time we have known each other. I am so glad to have gotten to be by your side during both the dark days and the bright days, Bexy." Her smile lingered before a chill wind blew her bangs out of place, forcing her to correct them as she faced the surrounding wilderness. "I know you do not feel bothered by the cold, Bexy. But… Is that the only reason you like to visit Coerthas? Because of your alignment to the element?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "So too have you. And i am forever thankful that we are friends, even throughout our disagreements; You have always remained true to yourself, and kind to others even if it isn't always deserved." Briefly glancing around the area, Bexy's painted lips pull into a line. "…Sort of. It's hard to describe, but i'll try. I… Know my aether is born of Coerthas. I always feel a… Longing. A magnetism, a compulsion to come here, every so often. But save for that… Coerthas. Aether scars… Places that were altered against their will. I feel some… Connection to them. An appreciation, even if… Others do not."

Neoma Eltanin listened as they continued on their walk through the frigid land. Apart from Bexy's voice it was awfully quiet, save for the sound of their boots crunching through the snow. Everything else became muffled thanks to the white blanket that covered every rock and tree. "… A belonging, of sort?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…Something like that. Had i no company, no place to return to, i would likely live out here in the wilds, if i didn't decide to travel."

You gaze upon Neoma Eltanin in deep reflection.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Have… You a place like this? A place you can feel at peace?"

Neoma Eltanin looked at Bexy for a moment longer before her gaze drifted to the ground in thought. Then she smiled softly and met Bexy's eyes. "I do, actually. The Twelveswood. I always feel a sense of calm when I walk through the forest. I consider myself quite lucky to live and work so close to it." Again her eyes wandered in thought. "It might be so that it reminds me of the bamboo forest where I grew up. I have always felt at home surrounded by nature."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I can understand that. I've always had an appreciation for it, too, even if my connection isn't quite the same as yours. As much as i do love company, there's something to be said for peace. I like both in equal measure, i think."

Neoma Eltanin nodded in agreement. "I think it is important to allow yourself a moment of peace every now and then. We can express our thoughts and open our hearts to one another for support and advice, but sometimes we need to be the ones to listen to our own voice. To take a moment to reflect." She closed her eyes as she spoke, considering her own words. It was then that a particularly chilly wind made itself known, causing Neoma to shiver and quickly hug herself. "Okay… I may have to admit defeat now. Forgive me, I am starting to feel very cold."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I thought as much. Take us back to the company house?" Bexy offers a short huff of a laugh. "We can catch up better over a cup of rolanberry tea, i think."

Neoma Eltanin: "That sounds like a splendid idea actually," Neoma laughed between shivers. "I enjoyed this walk, Bexy. But I would lie if I did not admit that the idea of a warm cup of tea sounds very tempting right now…" With that, Neoma somewhat reluctantly released her arms from the warmth of her cape before conjuring a teleportation magick to bring them back home to the milder climates of the Lavender Beds.

I'm truly lucky to have her as a friend. Though we've not always agreed, we've never cared for eachother any less. I know if i stumbled to her, bloodied and broken, she'd tend me for as long as it took. And if she ever came to me for help, or company, i would be there in a heartbeat. There's one thing we share, despite our differing views on other things. We're always loyal to the things we care about, and the ideals we uphold.

#Muse: [Bexy]#Chapter: [A Taste Of Their Own Medicine]#FFXIV #IC #Screenshot #Writing #Textlog

3 notes · View notes