#Its important to keep striving for better because you will feel the need to

[mylifeisruined69420]

I love your art please dont feel bad about it Despite being a beginner you seem very strong there Occasionally I go back through my posts and see those drawings and they are beautiful in a way, there is a charm there that cannot be captured never ever again I was shocked because despite some things, you had full pieces too not many can manage that along with many other things, when I saw your art when you had made a post about trying it out I smiled and I felt proud rather than judging It felt like something a passionate person made, a passionate person that wanted to extend their horizons, a passionate persons that loves her crow very dearly all these feelings from a drawing you made A first drawing you made when you decided to try it out something that could grow even more beautifully than it already is Please be proud and If you really want to pursue it, please do Because I see something beautiful there

Appreciation post for all the beginner artists who work hard despite the AI ​​looming over us. You are fabulous. You are precious. Keep up the hard work, you are needed.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[star-anise]

Currently getting my socks clean blown off by Rethinking Narcissism, by Dr. Craig Malkin. Which I found, in a roundabout way, from this video on Midsommar, grief, and narcissism.

Tonight I woke up from a nap and accidentally took my morning meds, so I'm going to be up for a few hours because of the meth. In place of sleep, I'll try to roughly sum up some basic ideas proposed by the research the book is based on:

That traits of "narcissism" like entitlement, grandiosity, and feeling special are not inherently toxic. There are times and places they are appropriate and beneficial. If you show up at a hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest, you should not sit and wait to be seen after people with earaches and coughs. (Actually, medical systems are designed to prioritize people with more urgent needs, and you qualify under that system. You are special and are deserving of different treatment than those others, which is why making your needs known, even insisting on it if you're not listened to appropriately the first time, is an extremely good idea. It keeps you from bleeding to death on the floor, and keeps the hospital from getting its pants sued off by your heirs.)

It is more useful to view "narcissism" not as an inherent immutable personality trait, but as a cluster of coping mechanisms. As previously stated, there are times they are exactly the right coping mechanism for the job. However, people we call "narcissists" tend to cling to these ones even when they become detrimental to themselves and others, often because they lack other ways of regulating their emotions and getting their needs met. And that is something they can change, if a person is willing to put in sincere and difficult work. It is not usually fast change; it's a matter of years, not weeks. But a skillbuilding approach turned Borderline Personality Disorder from an immutable curse to a fully treatable (though not quickly treatable) condition, and there's a lot of hope that it can do the same for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Meanwhile, there's an opposite end to the narcissism spectrum, and it is also pathological and destructive to hang out there all the time. It's an aversion, or even a resistance, to expecting yourself or other people to treat your own feelings, thoughts, ideas, needs, or preferences as important. For Greek mythology reasons, its proposed name is Echoism.

Unfortunately, because most of the damage echoism does is, by its very nature, localized to its sufferer and their own personal relationships, its downsides aren't often talked about. In fact, it's often seen as an ideal moral state, a kind of altruism or saintliness everyone should strive for. As a pathological coping mechanism a person is trapped in, though, it's often more a fear-based reflex than a conscious and deliberate attempt to achieve some real and specific good. It's not actually as beneficial as being able to recognize your needs, desires, positive aspects, and areas of competence or excellence, and bring them forward in your relationships with other people and yourself.

To me this has all been a cross between a gut-punch and a cool, sweet drink of water. There have been other ways to describe echoism over the years, but this feels like the most concise and useful one I've seen in ages.

It specifically puts its pin down in the middle of the moral debate a lot of people struggle with—"What right do I have to put myself forward? What hope do I have of being seen and accepted? Isn't it better not to burden anybody else?"—and says that the problem is not feeling in touch with either side of the equation, but specifically, the inability to move from one part of the spectrum to another when it's merited by circumstances.

When I was a child, I thought Echoism was the answer. It was my ideal. I thought it was what would get me the love and acceptance I wanted, and would keep me safe from the pain of rejection or not being understood. I had no idea it would actually, in fact, be the primary cause of alienation and loneliness for the rest of my life.

Now I'm so deeply thankful I couldn't fully achieve it, in practical terms. As hard as I tried to erase myself, there were always things I loved too much to suppress. I still found ways to express and discover myself in the books I read, the stories I wrote, the intellectual work of school and the experience of pursuing hobbies I loved, my ambitions to be helpful even when they demanded I stop being selfless, and the relationships where I felt safe enough to experience love and acceptance even if I didn't think I deserved them.

There's this question I found a while back that echoed in my bones: Who am I allowed to be around you? Because that's what I felt like, as a child. If I wanted to engage with other people and minimize my risk of harm, it was my job to bend into a pretzel and fit the shape they wanted. And thank god, thank god, thank god, I couldn't fully do it. Despite everything, there were parts of me too strong and bright to lop off completely to get my arms and legs inside the carriage. I was able to take care of myself and let them grow in secret until I found social places I could let them out again. Despite myself, I found ways to grow and thrive, well beyond the trauma that said I shouldn't have.

[creampuffqueen]

Hey:)

I feel you’re one of the, if not the most qualified people to ask this question, how would you describe Yangchen? Like, personality, emotions, thoughts, everything that comes to mind. I encourage a nerd out.

I’m thinking of doing a thing at a later date when I’ve chased down all my thoughts, got my confidence and my notes in order and I want other interpretations of her than mine and what’s on the wiki 😅 you’re the next best after the wiki when it comes to details regarding her

(It’s just shedding season, I’m still panda beneath all the fur🎈🐼)

Nerd out about Yangchen???? Actually, forget veterinary medicine, this is the dream career for me. 

To me, Yangchen’s character is made up of a few basic things:

Her deep compassion for other people

A constant, underlying sadness

Major imposter syndrome

Feral Little Sister Energy

I feel like when I want to give someone a basic rundown on Yangchen’s character, these are the first things that come to mind and therefore the things I mention. Obviously, just mentioning these character aspects doesn’t exactly tie them together cohesively, so that’s what I plan to do here!

You guessed, it under the cut… it’s 2415 words long…

Without further ado, Avatar Yangchen!

Compassion

To start off, it’s important to understand that Yangchen is a deeply caring and compassionate person. For better or worse, she cares so, so much about other people. It’s one of the things that makes her such a fantastic Avatar, and it’s this deep compassion that keeps her from abandoning all hope when it seems like the world just keeps on taking. 

Her compassion is also what compels her to do the things she does in the novels – and arguably her appearance in the comics as well. There’s a quote she gives during Dawn that I think encapsulates her feelings on this quite well: “We fight for people we’ve never met and never will”. 

Yangchen cares for humanity, and truly believes in its goodness, or at the very least its worth. She strays from this belief occasionally during the books, but at the end she always comes back to it. She will continue to fight for humanity as the Avatar – the most thankless job in the entire universe – because she believes there is good in the world. Does she have bad experiences with some of the worst of humanity? Yes. Does she have some jaded views of people? Also yes. But at the end of the day she still believes in goodness, and strives to do what she can to promote and preserve it. 

This compassion shows up in many ways during the novels. She is a talented healer and largely enjoys the work. I touched on this a bit in my post discussing her relationship with waterbending, how she prefers healing as a skill because of the way it directly benefits others. When a maid in Bin-Er is injured on the job, Yangchen quietly pays for her treatment. When she first meets Kavik, believing him to be homeless, she immediately offers him money in a hopeful attempt to help him. She donates all the gifts she receives as the Avatar to the air temples to help fund the nearby towns. She heals Yingsu from an arrow wound – the woman who was trying to kill her five minutes before!

Really, this is the ultimate reason why she is the way she is during the novels! Namely, a cunning, manipulative spymaster. This all starts because she heard things were bad in the shang towns, and wanted to do whatever she could to ease the suffering. She is the way she is because of past experiences of being spied on, because when her plans are revealed before they’re ready she isn’t able to help people. She is a person who cares unfathomably deeply about others, and found the best way to help as many people as possible was to play the awful, twisted game her world was intent on continuing. 

Sadness & Imposter Syndrome

While Yangchen’s deep sadness as a person and her extreme imposter syndrome are highly connected, there are a few extras about both that need to be touched on. 

Namely, the fact that Yangchen doesn’t really feel like her own person, and all the ways that affects her. 

It isn’t always obvious during the novels, as her POV is only half of each book and she has a few coping mechanisms to help her out, but the voices of her past lives never stop talking. Never. Like I said, she has some ways to cope, to keep herself present, to tune out the voices at least enough to focus, but they are still constant. 

And that is just… yikes!!

I’ve said it before, but Yangchen and Korra have some eerily similar parallels to their stories. Both of them learned they were the Avatar at a very young age. Korra learned when she was 4 because she started bending other elements. Yangchen began experiencing voices and visions from her past lives when she was around 7, after which she quickly put together her identity as the Avatar. 

Avatars are typically not revealed until they turn 16. Clearly, there is a good reason for this. All of the Avatars we have stories for that found out younger than that have had… a lot of pressure on their shoulders. Pressure that affected them deeply. Yangchen is no exception. In her case, it is honestly even more extreme, because not only did she have the pressure of being the Avatar, she was also constantly reliving trauma from her past lives.

Unlike other Avatars who have to specifically call up their past lives in order to hear their stories (or explicitly trigger them, as Aang did during Avatar Day), Yangchen is constantly and unwillingly reliving her past experiences. She is hearing voices, she is having flashbacks, and at certain points even dissociating fully from her body as another Avatar takes over and speaks. 

This has created a warped sense of self for her. The idea of Yangchen The Person is pale compared to Yangchen The Avatar. She has her own personality, opinions, and beliefs, but to her, none of those are important without her also being the Avatar.

Which brings us to Jetsun. Her older sister. From what we learn in the novels, Yangchen had a happy enough childhood in the Western Air Temple, and that was largely because of Jetsun’s influence. 

Jetsun treated her like a person. She argued with her, she teased her, she played with her, she comforted her. While everyone else was thinking of Yangchen The Avatar, Jetsun was always thinking of Yangchen The Person. Yangchen, her little sister. Who was stubborn, annoying, and most of all loving. While the elders worried what to do about her visions, while the world leaders conspired to take control before she came of age, all concerned about the Avatar, all Jetsun cared about was Yangchen. 

This is why Yangchen is hit so very hard after her death. This is why Jetsun haunts the narrative throughout the novels. After Jetsun died, Yangchen was alone. 

Not only did Jetsun die, she died in a pretty horrific, traumatizing way. A way that was not only horrific and traumatizing, but that Yangchen fully blames herself for. It’s obvious to us as the readers that Yangchen was in no way at fault for Jetsun’s death, but Yangchen is unable to see that perspective. At the start of the novels, she has been blaming herself for her sister’s death for six years. 

The pain is not as sharp, but it is still there, just as constant as the voices in her head. 

Without Jetsun by her side, Yangchen truly feels as though she can’t reach her full potential. She imagines how different she would be if she had Jetsun there to guide her. She imagines she would be better if she had Jetsun there to guide her. 

Which brings us to how this tragedy and sadness ties into her imposter syndrome. 

Like I mentioned earlier, Yangchen has known she was the Avatar from a very young age, and as such has felt the pressure of that role for a long time. She doesn’t know who she is outside of the Avatar, because that’s been her defining life event for as long as she can remember. 

And because of the aforementioned compassion, she takes her job as the Avatar incredibly seriously. She is serious about trying to bring balance about and ease suffering wherever possible. She wants to be a good Avatar, and tries desperately to be one.

The issue is that because of how her past lives work, she doesn’t truly believe it’s possible for her to be a good Avatar, despite all evidence to the contrary. The visions she gets the most are visions of failure. When she speaks with her past lives one on one, the stories she hears are ones of failure. Avatars who couldn’t save their loved ones even with the most powerful bending in the world. Avatars who couldn’t prevent war no matter how hard they tried. 

Yangchen does not want that to be her ending, going into the afterlife with regrets.

(Of course, for those who have read the Kyoshi novels, we unfortunately know how that ends...)

Yangchen is a woman of action. This is rather in conflict with her upbringing from the Air Nomads, who generally prefer to evade, defend, avoid, and observe. Air Nomads don’t seek out conflict. But of course, as the Avatar, Yangchen can’t avoid it. If anything, seeking out conflict is sort of her job.

Her job is to bring balance to the world, and because of how many lives full of regret she’s witnessed, it’s no surprise at all that she prefers to take action. She doesn’t want to sit and wait, she wants to solve problems now. A part of the books I think about often is when Yangchen talks about a recurring theme of her past lives and their regrets – every single one regrets waiting, regrets not taking action when they could have.

So Yangchen takes action. Most of the time it works out. Because she takes action rather than waiting, she often ends up having to do things she considers morally questionable – or even morally reprehensible. I feel it’s important to remind everyone that she was disgusted at herself for using the vacuum technique on the combustionbenders. But Yangchen couldn’t wait around for some other solution to show itself. 

These are the kinds of things that breed her imposter syndrome. The things she has to do to keep balance in the world many times directly go against her views as an Air Nomad. As much as she hates it, she will sacrifice her own spiritual wellbeing for the sake of the world. That is, after all, the single thing she said in the original ATLA show, and therefore the literal start of her personality. 

Just because she is willing to do it doesn’t mean it isn’t painful. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t make her question herself. There are so many moments where she wonders if she truly hates things like spying, manipulating, lying, etc. She thinks if she keeps doing them, clearly she doesn’t hate them. Clearly she isn’t doing them out of desperation or a lack of options. 

When some servants are moved by her performance with the shangs, she feels physically sick. She has to look away. If only they knew. They wouldn’t revere her so much. She doesn’t deserve their love or their praise, she’s nothing but a fake. 

These are thoughts that plague her almost constantly. At one point she tells Kavik that he has to let go of his failures, and not let them haunt him. Later that exact same night she spends hours flinging herself around with airbending until she exhausts herself. Clearly someone who has let go of their failures, right?

This severe imposter syndrome she experiences makes it so difficult for her to recognize her good work. She feels her failures make any good she’s done completely null and void. How can she let herself feel proud of her successes when her failures weigh so much heavier? When there’s still imbalance in the world that she needs to solve? When her own spirit is on its way to be just as spoiled as the peoples’ she’s had to defeat?

Which is why her meeting with Jetsun at the end of Legacy was so, so necessary for her. She needed to meet her sister’s spirit, see that she was alright despite everything, that Yangchen wasn’t at fault for her death. She needed to hear from Jetsun herself that she was good, that she was doing well in the world, that she wasn’t a total failure. And most of all, that even without Jetsun at her side, she was still a good Avatar. 

Feral Little Sister Energy

Ending this on a happier note! Yes, Yangchen’s character is very sad and even tragic at times, but she also has so many moments of fun and light. It’s part of what really draws me to her, I think. She may be the all-powerful Avatar, but she’s also Very Seventeen. 

She can just be an absolute menace at times, and it’s so great. She’s a little sister, it’s in her blood.

Probably the biggest parts of this particular personality trait are her sarcasm and her teasing. She’s also rather blunt at times, not at all afraid to tell it like it is. As well, she has no problems demanding respect from world leaders, which is honestly a good thing because she has to put up with so much shit from them all the time. 

She’s basically a Disney Princess. She has (had) a sky bison that likes to preen and show off. She throws things when she gets mad. She can scream loud enough to burst eardrums, and regularly does. She likes to make little kids laugh. She tells jokes. She teases Kavik because she thinks it’s cute when he gets flustered. She gets worked up over the sound of handwriting. She loves to do crazy tricks on her glider. She’s captain of an airball team and regularly partakes in trash talk. She has a whole wardrobe of creative disguises. She hates the cold. She likes to toss people around with airbending just for fun. She’s almost frighteningly intelligent. 

There are just so many fun little quirks to her character. I’m probably forgetting some, honestly. 

Conclusion

These are the aspects that I feel make up the most important parts of Yangchen’s character. Certainly there are more, but I feel like these are a good starting point, as well as things that all the other parts can be tied into.

Overall, she’s such a well-written, interesting character, and I absolutely loved getting to break her down! Others can feel totally free to add other parts they think are important as well; a more comprehensive view is always better.

Thanks so much for the ask, and I hope this helps!!

[lucillewalterblack]

my Anti-AI Disabled Artist Hot Take is that I think a lot of disabled AI users believe in a right to comfort that fundamentally doesn’t exist

and I know this is the piss on the poor website, the no-nuance website, but I feel the need to point this out because I see a disabled AI users talking about “the art community” like we’re a lot of elitists for believing that the process of making the art is what bestows worth upon the finished product. I saw a post where someone went “we all understand that not everyone is going to be a pro athlete because of factors out of their control, why can’t we understand that’s true of artists? what if someone is intellectually incapable of learning how to make art? what if you train and practice for 20 years and you never get good? why should I be barred from making art just because I’m not good or I have difficulties?”

and to that I say the process is the point, even when it’s hard, and I also say abled artists struggle and strive and practice too.

if you practice the flute for 20 years and never get good you will have reaped the benefits of playing for your own entertainment. people play recreational sports with no hope of going pro because they enjoy the experience of playing for their own entertainment. poems that are shitty can express emotions and sentiments authentically and bring catharsis to the author through the experience of writing. acting can be bad and still meaningful to the actors.

doing the thing is the point. the end result is not the point. a stick figure on a Post-It gave the person who drew it something meaningful, it exists as an expression of something the artist felt and the process of drawing it was an outlet for those feelings. assembling a collage requires examining your emotions and using found elements to assemble an expression of those emotions. creating a moodboard is the same. making a word cloud and arranging the words based on what you like best, creating a playlist, tracing a pattern in the carpet with a hand or foot - all of that is meaningful because it is done by a human who is doing it to express a feeling or sentiment. It is done earnestly and translates brain things into something observable. the colors, the positioning, the shapes - you, the artist, are actively making choices that best express your taste. this is why procedurally generated images aren’t art, this is why procedurally generated text isn’t art. there is in fact an inherent value to assembling the final product. the assemblage of the final product is what makes it art. even if the assemblage is screaming to express anger. even if it’s shedding a tear. art is a thing created directly by a human being. eventually when machines become sapient enough to showcase their souls they’ll be able to make art too.

if you do not care enough about the process to want to engage with it despite its difficulty or learning curve or challenge level, you are not entitled to the end result of a finished work of art. it is an unfortunate reality of being disabled that we are not going to do things or get things as easily as abled people. but abled people aren’t effortlessly creating art from perfect comfort either. doing hard things is its own reward. I believe that everyone, no matter their ability or skill level, is capable of making meaningful and important art that authentically expresses their feelings. there is no such thing as Too Disabled For Art. there is no such thing as Too Disabled For Anything But AI. you might never be good. do it anyway. keep doing it. do it badly. that’s how you get better.

(and, just to be clear, I’ve been training in drawing for 23 years, and I’m still not good, and I still get something emotionally beneficial from the act of drawing. again, if you don’t care enough about the process to engage with it despite the difficulty level, you are not entitled to the end results.)

[chordsykat]

How I write action/fight scenes

From a prompt posted by a friend on Discord last night. :3 Just thought I would ramble a bit before getting to work, this morning. If you're a writer and want to know what goes through my head as I come up with combat scenes in my stories, then read on. In this way, I hope we both learn a lot. Because I honestly don't think I've ever laid out my "formula" before...

First, know who you're dealing with.

This tutorial is going to stick mostly to the actual writing aspects, but if you're going to do an action series, you should factor in the combat abilities of your characters as you develop them. This doesn't have to be anything fancy. Keep it to the natural human responses at least. In other words, during a conflict, how will your character react:

Fight: Push back

Flight: Run away

Freeze: Do nothing

Knowing just that will give you enough to start thinking these dances through. And indeed, that's what they are - a dance. If you know more, like, specifically what kind of fighting they do, what their strengths in combat are, etc -- all the better, but know that what I list below goes in order from most to least important, and that stuff won't be on the list until the end.

Second, (and always) make the audience care about the action.

This sounds dumb and counterintuitive but people won't find an action scene compelling just because it's an action scene. Not to knock it, because it was brilliant for a different reason and a lot of the writing staff's hands were tied... BUT... During my time as a fan of, all the way into my employment with, Archie-Sonic, I can't tell you how many action scenes happened just because some executive at Sega was like "I think X and Y need to fight." So they would, and for reasons that were muddy at best. I think at one point, we had Sonic and Knuckles literally exchanging this dialogue:

Sonic: Yo dude, be cool. Last time we met, we left on good terms! Knuckles: Maybe, but you're still an intruder and just because you did me that favor on the day my daughter was to be married does not mean I owe you anything in the way of kindness.

IDK, my memory may be foggy, but that was the gist of it. Point is, don't do that - and first make sure your audience understands the motives behind the action, the potential stakes, and why it's all taking place to begin with. Else, you can make it as cool as you want and people are going to walk away with a sense of "that was cool" instead of "holy shit I was freaking out through that whole scene." If there's any question as to what you should be striving for as a writer, it's the latter.

Third, plot it out like it's a mini-story.

To the point - figure out the end first, and work backwards, just like so many writing tutorials have said before. Again, keep it simple: Who wins? Does the conflict result in a casualty of some kind? Does a character learn something?

Before you show how it goes down, you need to establish what goes down as the action happens, and what happens afterwards. Keeping the ending in mind as yo write a scene is always a good way of making it feel tighter. And throwing littlte twists for interest (maybe a character has the upper-hand for all but the end of the fight - maybe a character is losing until a specific turning point, etc) is made much easier, too.

Fourth, mind the rhythm.

A little weird to explain this, but the back-and-forth nature of the scene needs to flow well. Generally, conflict follows a pattern of:

Character acts

Opposition reacts

Opposition acts

Character reacts

If this pattern looks familiar to you, it should. This is the basic pattern of human dialogue as seen in stories and, YES, real life. Consider your scene like a dialogue all its own (even if the characters are talking throughout). The twists and turns I spoke about in the last point should be "off beat" because there's an unexpected nature to them. When a twist happens, consider breaking the above pattern.

Fifth, showcase character traits and skills (again, always).

Some characters have a high sense of honor and would put down their weapons if their opponent was unarmed. Some of them would fight dirty and hit someone with a chair when their back was turned. Some characters are scrappy and will jump into a conflict even when they're sorely outmatched. Some are straight up cowards who might run away even when there's a good chance they could win. Some are smart enough to bow out and will not engage -- hiding at the first sign of trouble. Some will throw snowballs at the oppressor and be surprised when they pull aggro and the dude comes after them.

You get the idea -- fights, conflicts and action scenes are great ways to show your characters' strengths, weaknesses, traits, and personality. Times of struggle are going to lay emotional responses raw, and it's a great way of showing "who someone really is" as it were.

Sixth, showcase unique defensive behavior.

Some characters have specific training: military, martial arts, street-fighting, etc... which, if you're aware of those, should come out during combat or conflict. Some characters have access to weapons. Some characters' bodies are the weapon. Etc, etc etc...

Whatever you do, about the only time you're going to show off the fact that your character knows Muay Thai is during an action scene. If you yourself do not practice this martial art, then research what you need to incorporate to make it believable when you write. Watch videos and write down the ways you would describe the movement. If you're doing a comic, then sketch the movement. Use that in your story.

Last, create more interest by tying in and highlighting story themes or disparities between protagonist characters, antagonist characters, and/or the conflict as a whole.

A little trickier, but if your story has a central theme or moral, try showing pieces of it shining through the action. Just as one wild example, if you have a theme of "love conquers all" this might mean your fight will end with the two people falling in love, instead of fighting. Think like a dungeon master. If you rolled a natural 20 on "try to woo the orc" in a combat situation (remember that comic?) what do you think would happen?

Too, if your combatants have something in common, or especially something that they are diametrically opposed on, feel free to show that off in these scenes. It'll leave the audience knowing them better (and set them up for further head-butting... or romance(?) down the line. And that's always fun).

Anywho, that's just a few of my thoughts on action sequences in fiction. If this helped you, or you want me to talk about this even more -- send me a message or a note or something. Always up for discussing this kind of thing.

And your reward for reading this far is an invite to join my discord if you wanna hear me ramble on about this sort of thing, in perpetuity. :)

[thatboreddrake]

How do you maintain hope? I keep seeing posts about it and I want to have that. I miss feeling like things might be okay

First off, my deepest apologies for taking so long to reply to this one. I wanted to make sure that I gave it its due attention, because it really is important.

Now, I feel like there's several layers to this one. Because 100%, it started for me from a perspective of "well someone's got to." I saw the people around me were hurting and wanted to do something about it. The way I settled on was to be that ray of hope, that person who truly believes that things can get better, that the best is yet to come.

But that's not enough, not anymore anyway. Because an ingrained part of that was the idea that my issues didn't matter. That I shouldn't talk with people about the things I was dealing with, because why should I add to their burden? They were already going through so much! But all that led me to was a growing melancholy and frustration with my own feelings.

And so, slowly but surely, I've started to open myself up to other people. To tell them about the things I was struggling with. And you know what they said? They certainly didn't minimize or dismiss my struggles, as I for years had worried that they would. No, when I expressed my feelings, that I shouldn't burden them with the things bothering me, they looked me in the eye and told me: "The fact that you're hurting is enough. It doesn't matter how small it is."

And as I've started to be more open on here, I've been fortunate enough to find like-minded people. My friends like @ivebeensetonfire and @minty-cheese who consistently reiterate that we are loved, and that we *will* make it through.

And there's definitely a part of me that still feels like I have to hold onto hope, otherwise I wouldn't be able to function. How could I ever move forward if I didn't believe that things could change for the better?

And this is definitely where my faith plays a part. For context, I was born and raised as a Christian, and I still hold that faith to be my own. Now, I certainly don't believe the same way that my parents do (I think I put a lot more weight in God's love and compassion than they do), but that doesn't mean that I'm no longer a Christian.

So yeah, I believe with absolute confidence that the best is yet to come. But I don't want that to just be some nebulous platitude of "someday the world will get better so I'll sit and wait for that day." No, Jesus calls Christians to love and serve people, to be His hands and feet in this world.

And so I hold on to hope. I offer a word of encouragement wherever I can. I lend a listening ear when it is needed because sometimes all someone needs is someone to hear their plight. And I strive not to counter with hollow positivity because I know that often all that does is twist the knife deeper. I know that sometimes, all you need is someone to say "I know that sucks. I'm here for you. Let's get through this together."

And seeing as you sent me this ask, I assume that you're probably one of my mutuals. So hear this and believe me: I love you. I'm here for you, and I want to do whatever I can to help you. I can't force positivity or hope, but I will continue to speak to it. So if you ever need love, encouragement, a kind word, a listening ear: we're here. Me, and many others like me.

I hope that that answered your question, if in a somewhat roundabout way. To be fully transparent, there are many days when I start to despair, feeling like I'll never be able to move beyond where I am now. All you can do is to take the next step. Because as long as we keep moving forward, I believe that we will see the sun rise again.

[cherrycrushsoda]

𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝔃𝓮

I lowkey bombed a really important test I've been studying for and stressing over for the last month hhhhhhh..

anyway heres your yandere content now that I have free time :

(EDIT: This was like in april may-ish and I defff forgot about if lol, its kinda unfinished but I feel like I need to start posting even if it's anything)

TW:failing a test, being insecure, idk theres not really much but lmk if i should add something lol

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

" I promise, I want nothing more than to reward you."

Tears stained your cheeks and the smell of salt and humilation consumed your senses. "I wasn't even close to passing!" you buried your face into your hands, "and I worked so hard for it too...." you feel a warm handing slowly stroking the top of your back up and down. "It was so bad I don't even deserve-"

"get that out of your head."

Peaking over your fingers as you lift your head up slightly. He stares down at you with a sympathetic gaze in his eyes. You lightly lean against his torso resting your head against his firm chest. His presence is a quiet anchor pulling you back to reality in the storm against your emotions. "Listen to me-" he says, his voice low but firm "I know you're hurting, but this isn't the end" theres a sharp pain in your chest thinking about the score "I know it's not the end! but this was my chance to keep up with everyone because I feel like I'm falling behind!" he grabs your chin with a firm grip and forces you to look into your eyes "But darling this isn't the end." his hands reach for your cheeks and cups, still maintaining eye contact "This is just a small chapter of your life, and I promise you the next one will be better." Tears well up again and you try to blink them away.... but they just end up spilling over again. "I feel like I'm running out of time" you wisper, your voice cracking barely audible. "Like everyone is racing ahead but I'm just- stuck...."

His thumb tenderly brushes a tear away. "You're not stuck, you're ahead if anything" he says gently "You strived for a higher education, there are plenty of people who don't even graduate high school, this may have been an important test for your path, but you have all the time in the world to pass it." He takes your hand from your face "It was always my dream to take care of you anyway, so it wont be the end" You want to believe his words but theres an ache that claws back up at your throat "I get it. You want to take care of me- and I want to believe you I really do.... But what if I'm too dumb to actually finish it? What if I'll never be enough-" He grabs your chin and forces you into a deep kiss.

"My darling you are anything but dumb, maybe a bit airheaded at times but it only adds to your allure" a wave a warmth flushes over you at his words. "You are mine and no one gets to insult what belongs to me even if it's your pretty little head telling you nasty things." he says in a dark tone gripping your chin before pulling you into another kiss. "I'll talk to your professor and make sure you get the score you actually deserve my darling, dont worry"

[obessed-with-fictional-men]

oh my sweet Gale

I will admit, the very first run through of this game i found Gale annoying, pushy, dumped trauma everywhere, narcissistic in his knowledge of magic, and the need to prove how right his in in the subject. I often found myself thinking and saying out loud "omg shut up"..... buuuuut... having romanced him...... i found that his personality traits are the exact same as someone born as a child prodigy, had his ego inflated, alienated by everyone around him, and made to think he was superior by someone higher up just to then land on his ass.

I wont go through what i think of his character development because each play through is different, and for each player its different... but this is what i think of him over all.

Gale doesn't know how to talk to people. He doesn't have social queues that almost everyone else picks up on. Gale has spent, up till the tadpole, the exception in a lot of the situations he was put into and thus it became his default personality. Yes, for those of us who have romanced him (keeps romancing him) we see someone haunted by their past choices and watch him grow. We see the nerd that he is, but this is more about the potential Gale before we meet him. So bare with me.

He was a child prodigy and put into a prestigious school where he flourished. I can only image how his professors loved him and his fellow students less than enthusiastic response. You know what happens when you become the teachers pet? You become ostracized by your fellow peers. You know what happens when you are really good at something that usually takes A LOT of practice for others? You either get used or don't make friends. Gale has had ONE story that involved other people and it didn't involve friends, he was at a bar and defused a brawl with ale. He has openly admitted to Tara being his only real friend.

Now this isn't to say Gale never had to work at his magic or arcane knowledge to get him to where he is in the game when he first meet him. He was an archmage and the chosen of Mystera, but his innate ability to wield it as a young boy is what got Mystera's attention. Gale has stated that she was his teacher first, then his muse and finally his lover. You can only imagine how special he felt when Mystera chose him to be his guiding hand..... and then to be a lover? I don't care who you are..... That shit would have to inflate your ego. That shit would make you feel like you were SOOO much better than your fellow peers. You would have those toxic thoughts and comments of "yeah, well Mystera chose me! So who needs friends/criticism/physical lovers/ect". What do you typically do when you catch the attention of someone you highly regard? You try to impress them and do what you can to be even more impressive! So Gale's ambition grew to newer heights. I cant imagine what Mystera poisoned his mind with while they were together. Like, i get she told him to just be content with the things were.... but come on Mystera... you couldn't have expected him to stop striving to be better with a simple "nah, you're cool how you are. you don't need to be my equal". Not when the poor man has spent the last 2 decades of his life striving to be the best. His most important years for growth and development have been spent on trying to impress others.

Gale learns of a way to possibly convince Mystera to allow him into her domain and it gets a carnivorous orb shoved into his chest, dumped, stripped of his titles and holed up in his tower without nary a reason why. That had to be the biggest blow he has ever received in his entire life. His act of what he believed to be a sure fire way into getting what he wanted ended up taking almost everything away from him. If it wasn't for Tara, i'm sure Waterdeep would have succumbed his to orbs blight. The man locked himself in his tower and turned away all his colleagues and family.

So imagine, you are this lonely person... squirreled away from others and any social interaction. No one to talk to except your pet *sorry Tara* and all of a sudden you find yourself on a ship.... with a parasite in your brain and then your thrust into an adventure with a bunch of strangers. You have this orb in your chest that could blow at any time and you cant really explain WHY you need magical items.... but that if you don't get them.... everyone is in trouble.... you find your group facing monsters and doing weird ass side quests.... and at any given opportunity, you like to drop a knowledge bomb on the group.... just to find that some of the group members don't like your input... or don't listen at all.. which doesn't sit well with you. You've been told how right you are for like... 20 years... You haven't been given many acts of kindness since becoming an adult, what with your abrasive "im more knowledgeable in everything and i've slept with a goddess" personality, so when you see your fearless leader doing something nice, you approve. You grown to trust this leader enough to tell them the truth.... knowing full well they may turn on you, but they don't! You continue to watch them, and share moments of magic with them, you fight along side them, and what is this? Are you starting to develop feelings for them? Are they reciprocating these feelings?

He gets a death sentence slapped on his back and these new budding feelings he has for you need to be made known. What better way than to show you how much you mean to him than to literally paint the sky in the weave for you. To take away the Shadow-lands curse and SHOW you something better. He thinks 'the most perfect night would have to be some place im comfortable and vulnerable.... so that i can SHOW them. This is me, Gale. This is my whole world and at the center of it, my very heart'. he is literally showing you who he is. he is this studious... lonely man.. who sits in front of his fire place reading and researching... or out on his terrace watching the sunset with a book. Like, do you accept this version of me that you have not seen yet? *Not to mention the weave/ astral projected 3 gale gang bang you get while spinning through the cosmos. He is such a show off... or he just isnt confident in his own physical/ mortal ability to woo and wow*

To watch Gale throughout my few play throughs grow as a person and learn that having to much ambition can oft lead to ruin... and watch him change to just be content with himself as he is... i get a lot of comfort from it. I haven't gone down the God route yet, nor have i tried to make him more villainous, but who knows lol.

I have a lot thoughts on pre-tadpoled Gale and how his life up to that point made him who he is when we are first introduced to him. Gale is definitely my comfort character.

Sorry for the rant... or maybe im not. Once again... these are my thoughts from my multiple play throughs.

[onlyplatonicirl]

boom explosion. guess what its been 2 years since i came into your ask box to bother you about blogverse!!! as usual its the roleplayer behind the first lorelcest kid Oleander, Mercury, and most importantly to me, Bv!Shandyo

genuine apologies if you dont enjoy these! thats pretty fair and i get that it didnt affect everyone else as strongly as it did me, i just feel like its important that you know how much youve affected my life positively.

so, i was a bullied, neglected kid with unsupervised internet acess when blogverse happened (still a kid just less, woo!) and blogverse, especially your blog was probably the only part of the internet that i genuinely believed changed me for the better.

the sense of belonging, escapism, and the opportunity to create a character and show them to others like me was incredibly beneficial for me as a person and an artist in the long run, and to this day making OCs, writing, and especially drawing are passions that i consider deeply important to me- passions that blogverse and its community didnt exactly start, but they played a big role in fostering it. i know you just accidentally one day made an entire community that lasted two months but i cannot stress to you enough that it changed my life and i cant thank you & queenie (unsure if they still go by that, sorry) enough for it.

I also majorly admired you (and many others in a lot of the communities you associated with, but especially you) greatly as a person, artist & writer!!! you were my art goal and while that's changed as ive grown, striving towards this goal nurtured a hobby that i now know was/is a special interest to me.

while probably seeming like minor interactions with some kid who didnt know how to write a consistent character to you, to me your patience, kindness & continual creation of art genuinely helped me retreat from my abusive home life, gain a sense of belonging as a bullied autistic child, get better at art n writing, & grow as a person. i still lurk in communities like blogverse, but bv was my first and forever will be cherished in my memory.

so yeah. the things you do affect people whether you think so or not, and while i dont majorly interact with your content anymore, i hope youre well n you keep being great. :)

I want you to know that I’m at a friend’s house right now and she’s cooking herself dinner. I’m reading this paragraph and I literally start tearing up in front of her and she asks me what’s wrong 😭😭😭

Legitimately I feel like I have somehow won at life, like I won a lottery, because I don’t possibly know what I did to deserve messages like this and it makes me feel so amazing to know that I have positively effected the life of another person. That’s all I can hope for in life, and I can feel how much heart went into this letter so I’m trying to respond in turn

Even though at the time of all of this I had just around turned 18 years old, I was still very much a kid who was also trying to escape from a less-than-ideal home life. I never expected an audience when writing tcoti, it was purely my own self-indulgent passion project with my own hyper-specific headcanons. The fact that other people resonated with it so much and it created so many other inspirations as completely unexpected and absolutely baffling to me. I could have never seen it coming in a million years. It changed MY life for the better to know a my own silly utmv ideas literally inspired like. Countless others

I’m also going to share this post with Queenie, because they NEED to see this. Blogverse was her passionate project and I think to know you were as touched by it as she was and loved the writing is amazing. Also I’m showing Slime. @cosmic-chronologer look at this post with your eyes. I didn’t contribute with the writing as much as I should have because of how busy I was, and the real masterminds behind the project go to Slime Queenie and Achro. I hope they see this message!!!!

Thank you for telling me about the positive impact me and the others have had on you, it genuinely makes me so happy to hear. I’m SO happy you’re still continuing to create!! Most of my utmv friends back from then have left the fandom obv but I’m still in contact with most of them :) it means so much to me that you told me, because otherwise I would have never known how you feel!!!!!

I wish you have been well all these years. I loved all the ship kids you made :))))))

[angelgoeslewd]

hot takes on the obey me brothers by me, a sinner

lucifer: i see too much of me in this man and i hate it. fucking chill. you love too deeply and you’re ashamed of it. not everything will weaken you. and being weak isnt shameful. not every battle is meant to be fought. it’s ok to enjoy imperfections. it’s ok to be vulnerable.

mammon: no one is going to forget you. they won’t stop loving you because you’re out of sight, out of mind. love doesn’t work that way. you might think that undying devotion isnt for you, but you still strive for it. be ok with the conflict within yourself.

leviathan: it’s hard to feel like you can never achieve what you really want, you don’t have to overcompensate for it. you’re gonna end up realizing that what you have is perfectly fine and that’s when you’ll stop worrying so much. putting yourself down only sets you back further.

satan: is it really rage you feel? or is it just feeling like you have to fight for your place in this world. finding people who will accept who you are just because you are you is more important then being the best. you can have it all and still feel incomplete.

asmodeus: you’re going to hate to hear this, but you are not a trophy. being won like a prize will only attract people who treat you like a pig at a fair rather than the soft soul you are. you’re delicate and your beauty comes from how you can connect to people. sometimes those connections don’t include you. be happy that you’ve made someones day.

beelzebub: you can hunger for a new future, but if you keep finding yourself stuck eating the same old food, nothing will change unless you do. its ok to mourn the past, but realize there is so much more to the future than just change. it’s not always bad. it won’t always be scary.

belphegor: there’s so much i could say to you, but i doubt it would be very helpful unless you realize you need it. acceptance is a beautiful thing. running away from it only pushes you into darker places. it doesn’t need to be right. it just needs to be. letting sleeping dogs lie is sometimes better than giving them a bone. they’ll turn on you when they’re done.

[darthkvznblogs]

I know the point of the universal meld was to keep them as close to canon as possible, but has there been any noticeable change in some characters thanks to the fusion or any obvious butterfly effect?

Some off the top of my head.

Regarding the world:

-SHIELD is a lot bigger and has more influence in the Kverse than it did in the MCU, for better or worse. There's any number of hidden projects and weapons derived from non-Marvel entities and concepts that I haven't even alluded to yet.

-There's a similar story with SWORD, though this is more due to the relationship with the Kree Empire through Hala. Abigail's been able to procure a lot of goodies that, even if they can't propel Earth centuries ahead, should at least give us a decent edge in a fight if the worst comes to pass.

-The Moon is a lot more storied, having housed the Silver Millenium, the Inhuman realm of Attilan, Pink Diamond's original base of operations, a SWORD base, and now a Bounty Hunter's Guild outpost throughout its history.

-There's obviously a lot more magical stuff in general, of all sorts, but also a lot more backlash towards it from scared, mundane humans. Even now, there's oodles more magical beings than there ever were in the MCU, but they exist in insular communities, largely cut off from one another, thanks to centuries of anti-magic crusades courtesy of groups like the Forever Knights and their allies.

-It felt like the Masters of the Mystic Arts were pretty isolated sorcerer monks in the MCU with little, if any connection to the other magical spheres. They serve a more SHIELD-like role in the Kverse - just, y'know, not nearly as militaristic - providing much needed diplomacy and conflict resolution between the isolated magical realms and protecting them from factions that would seek their destruction. They're kinda like Jedi before the Clone Wars (and with some of the same flaws, too).

Regarding the characters:

-An important part of Kara's story is figuring out she's actually underpowered, and really, subconsciously holding herself back from the true strength and wide range of abilities of a Kryptonian under yellow sun conditions. You might infer that she was initially mirroring the perceived power level of the world around her (though there's some standouts, certainly).

-Tony's at least partially connected to a bunch of non-Marvel figures simply by virtue of being born into incredible wealth. All rich people know each other, on some level. I'd say he's also a little less reckless and short-sighted (but more paranoid), just because he's more aware of just how many powerful figures could easily change the status quo - good, bad, and everything in between. He'd be less inclined to go out in a blaze of fire, at least until he's reasonably sure other people could pick up the torch.

-While not fully tethered to Earth like the Olympians are, Thor's a lot more of an actual god than he is in the MCU. He can feel the belief directed at him, even if it doesn't sustain him, for example, and more generally I've strived to move away from the "Asgard and the Nine Realms aren't actually magic, just really advanced tech" angle of the earlier phases in the MCU. There's a high (equivalent) tech level, don't get me wrong, but their powers are magical in nature first and foremost.

-I think Steve's a little less jaded about the modern world, but also less patient with people who would do it harm, intentionally or otherwise. Like, I don't think Nick Fury would find it prudent to show him a secret helicarrier armada, for example, even to gain his trust. He's inspired by people living their truth and embracing each other in a way that would be pretty unimaginable in the 40s, but disappointed at authority figures for running a society no less unbalanced and disjointed than he left it (just in different ways).

[imariejoyce]

Your lessons made me my best self...

an open letter I made few years ago, to the one that got away...

Dear YOU,

As I sit down to write this letter, I find myself reflecting on our time together with a sense of peace and gratitude. You were the one that got away, but contrary to what many might expect, I don't really have any regrets. Instead, I feel a deep appreciation for the role you played in my life and the lessons you taught me.

I still clearly remember how we used to make plans for our future, working around the time difference to stay in touch and connected. After we broke up, I frequently thought about what might have been if we hadn't abandoned those dreams and plans. We crossed paths when I was still figuring out who I was and what I truly wanted from life. In many aspects, you represented both my strengths and weaknesses. You challenged me, encouraged my growth, and made me see the potential within me that I hadn't recognized before. Our relationship was not without its struggles, but it was within those struggles that I found the most valuable lessons. I learned about patience, compromise, and the importance of communication, especially since our relationship was long-distance.

When our paths eventually parted, I won’t lie—it was incredibly difficult. It took some time for me to move on, and each morning when I wake up, it felt like there were bricks on my chest; I could hardly breathe. Time seemed to move so slow, and all I could think about was why it happened despite all the effort I put into making it work. But then, one day, the pain faded. I began to see our separation not as a loss, but as a necessary step in my life. Our time together became a turning point for my personal growth, motivating me to strive for a better version of myself, to become the person I always had the potential to be. For that, I am deeply thankful to you.

Looking back now, I can honestly say I'm grateful for everything we went through. You were an important chapter in my life, one that greatly influenced the person I am today. My world used to revolve around you. I believed I was a strong, independent woman because I thought you'd always be proud of me and never leave if I kept proving myself. I don't regret it, though, as it pushed me to achieve a lot in life. While it wasn't the healthiest motivation to strive just to please you, I'm still thankful for the experience. But as that chapter ended, a new one began. In this new chapter, I've discovered a new version of myself, someone who realized that I never needed to please anyone to feel worthy. I now know that I can be my best without chasing after someone’s approval; instead, I should pursue my dreams for myself. Through this phase, I've learned that by doing so, I’ll attract the right people and the right energy into my life. I discovered my own resilience and realized that love is not just about finding someone who completes you but about finding someone who complements you—someone who helps you become a better version of yourself.

I slowly opened my mind and let my guard down, allowing others to know me better while also gaining a deeper understanding of myself. Because of the lessons I learned from our time together, I can now say that I am wiser and have a clearer sense of what I truly want in life. So, to you, the one that got away, I want to say thank you. Thank you for the lessons, the memories, and the motivation to keep growing. I wish you nothing but happiness and fulfillment in your life. Our paths may have separated, but the impact you had on my life will always remain.

Sincerely, ME

[mbti-notes]

hi mbti, entj with an exfj mother. whenever we get into arguments, she responds by yelling at me and blaming me and admittedly i respond by yelling back at her. she has been like this for the entirety of my life and when i try to communicate with her calmly after an argument she just ignores me. i want to have a better grasp on how to control my reactions during arguments as it takes a lot out of me to try and reason with her or even get an insight into other solutions i haven't considered. thank you

Why are you interested in personality type? Many people are merely in it for ego validation. Some people are looking to improve their relationships with different types. IMO, if you want to get something truly valuable out of type theory, you have to enter into the learning process with a clear intention to develop a deeper understanding of humans, to gain the kind of wisdom that helps you become more empathetic and compassionate toward yourself and others. In other words, do you genuinely want to understand your relationship with your mom and connect with her better, or do you just want a quick-fix to end the conflict and get her off your back?

When you seek to resolve a conflict for mostly egotistical reasons, you won't get very far, because it's easy for the other person to detect that you care more about your own comfort than their well-being. To resolve a conflict properly, you must approach it primarily from a place of care and love. If you aren't able to do that, you're signalling to the other person that you're not relationship-ready, so they won't have much motivation to meet you halfway, hence, the reluctance to engage with you. Why waste energy on a discussion that will go nowhere? Why waste energy trying to explain something when the other person doesn't seem to have the desire/capacity to understand? I'm not accusing you of anything or judging who's right or wrong. I'm simply making sure that you are aware of your intentions because they matter a great deal in conflict resolution.

It is indeed important to keep yourself in check when things get too heated, but that's really only the first of many steps. At most, it keeps communication going, but it doesn't constitute a full-fledged solution to the conflict. You haven't described or provided any representative examples of the sorts of things you argue about, which makes it very difficult for me to know what exactly lies at the root of the conflict. And perhaps that is the problem: You're not grasping what lies at the root of the conflict, so your ideas about how to solve it keep dancing around the problem at best. Dancing around means you have no clear direction or no clue about what the finishing move should be. What is your long term vision for this relationship?

In terms of ENTJ development, dancing around is likely related to underdeveloped Ni: your way of thinking is too short-sighted and superficial, so you're unable to grasp what's really happening beneath appearances, let alone set a long term vision to strive for. In the context of relationships, the superficiality of underdeveloped Ni is also linked to underdeveloped Fi: you are unable to recognize and address the underlying feelings and emotional needs in play, so you end up band-aiding the conflict only to have it recur in the future.

Every personality type has its fair share of challenges, difficulties, and weaknesses. If you don't understand what they are in your own type, you won't make much progress in personal growth. If you don't understand what they are in someone else's type, you won't be able to "speak their language" or frame ideas in a way that makes sense to them. Recurring relationship problems usually require a two-pronged solution of personal growth as well as growing your understanding of others. Developing Ni+Fi should help you with both.

The most obvious difference between you and your mother is T and F. By definition, feelings and emotions matter a lot to Fs and how they make decisions. Healthy Fe doms don't anger easily because they: don't like the stress of extreme emotions; are usually willing to give people the benefit of the doubt; prefer to see the good in people; hope for kinder ways of resolving conflicts. There are really only a few things that anger Fe doms, mostly involving:

lack of care shown to the things that are very important to them

ignoring/dismissing people's needs and feelings

taking them and their thoughtfulness for granted

violation of their personal rules/boundaries

antisocial/immoral behavior that causes harm or suffering

Have you done any of the above? If so, have you admitted the mistake, provided a humble and honest explanation for it, sincerely apologized, and made a promise to do better? That is often all it takes to get back in the good graces of FJs, but you'd be surprised at how often people simply can't or won't take the first step toward reconciliation.

It takes two to tango. When the lines of communication have broken down, it's sometimes necessary to step up and be the bigger person and apologize first, in order to encourage the other person to respond in kind. It's not about who is at fault or who is to blame or who started it (i.e. pettiness). It's really about acknowledging that feelings have been hurt and needs have been neglected, and then making a gesture toward repair. In essence, it's about ending all aggression and, instead, opening up opportunities to show love.

To be clear, this is not about rolling over, placating, or appeasing. You also need to address why you feel in conflict, why you feel upset. You wouldn't be getting into arguments without feeling strongly about something or other. Oftentimes, ENTJs are unable to speak about feelings and emotions directly because they fear being vulnerable and/or simply don't have that level of self-awareness. But vulnerability is precisely the gesture that is needed for the other person to feel more confident about reconciliation.

Vulnerability shows that you are finally ready and willing to get real, to discuss the very heart of the matter. Speaking honestly and authentically about feelings is quite difficult for most people, usually due to ego reasons, but it is necessary for building more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Until two people can feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with each other - to approach with zero intention to judge, shame, blame, accuse, or attack - they won't be able to resolve relationship problems once and for all.

Of course, one big reason people fear vulnerability is because it leaves them open to being manipulated, exploited, or attacked. You can't control other people, so trusting them always carries some risk. Give people a few chances to return your vulnerability in graduated steps, but if they can't reciprocate or they use it against you, it means they are not relationship-ready. At that point, feel proud that you were brave and put out your best effort, but acknowledge that the relationship has hit a hard ceiling for reasons beyond your control.

If you have a tendency to nitpick or debate the details of who's right and who's wrong in an argument, you're basically trying to establish dominance and doing the opposite of being vulnerable. And chances are, you're ignoring what matters most, which is healing the injury that was caused by the conflict. It could be injury to a person or to the relationship as a whole. In the midst of heated conflict, it's easy for feelings to get trampled, boundaries to get violated, trust to get betrayed, and painful memories to get dredged up. One reason people avoid conflict is because it's difficult to get past the injuries.

When someone's leg is injured, you don't tell them to get over it and keep walking only to make it worse, rather, you get them off their feet, reduce their pain, and then gently repair what was fractured or broken. Feelings and emotions are real. Emotional pain often registers in similar brain areas as physical pain. It requires time, sensitivity, the right kind of comforting, and a focus on fulfilling unmet needs to heal emotional pain. When you don't allow time and opportunity to heal emotional injury, you're basically leaving people to writhe in pain alone, so don't be surprised when they have zero mental capacity for anything else. Have you ever tried to reason through a difficult problem while experiencing intense pain?

One of the great things and also one of the most difficult things about being F dominant is that feelings and emotions always loom larger than other types. Are you able to understand and accept this reality about them? Fe doms deeply value loving relationships and are thus easily pained by unloving behavior. Fe doms generally find it difficult to bring up their own negative feelings/emotions because they don't want to cause a disturbance or be a burden. As a result, they might get into the habit of suppressing how they really feel, which might lead them to also develop a habit of exploding any time they are unable to suppress any longer. And once feelings get too big, they'll find it difficult to articulate what's really happening inside, due to inferior Ti.

The remedy is to provide them with a safe, nonjudgmental, and compassionate space to speak freely at all times. But this means you have to be prepared to hear things that you don't want to hear and/or things that don't make sense to you (and require tactful clarification). To get better at girding yourself, you have to deploy Ni+Fi to step back and see the bigger picture (i.e. don't take it personally), and to look beyond the surface content of their words and understand what they really mean, with regard to:

what exactly is causing them to feel bad

what you've contributed to their negative feelings

what it is they really need or which of their needs remain unmet

what rules/boundaries were violated and require repair

what unloving/immoral behavior needs to be stopped

what unfair/unjust situation needs to be righted

Once you grasp the underlying problem, you'll have a much better chance of negotiating the right solution. A simple but effective way to improve your conflict resolution skills is to be more curious and listen more, to ensure that you are in touch with the reality of the situation, rather than operating on faulty assumptions. Family relationships are often the most challenging relationships, but learning how to navigate them effectively can set you up with the skills you need to navigate all relationships effectively throughout life.

I have already written a lot about function development, emotional intelligence, and communication skills. I've also recommended books on the resources page. There's no shortage of information. What remains unclear is how motivated you are to improve your people skills and what end goals you have for this relationship.

[nahalism]

The past two years ive had my concrete bubble pinched and it’s like I see things clear since then. Ive had extreme highs. Never been so close to myself and the world. Yet also the most extreme lows. Current situation. It’s hard for me to understand whether what i feel is my soul or ego. This makes it hard to take action. Do you have an opinion or advice? is there a way you can separate your ego thinking from your soul needs? Your answers always relate to my thinking, that’s why I ask you. Thank you for that.

hey, sorry it took me a while to answer this because i wanted to make sure i gave it a response it deserved. forgive me if i talk in circles, but ill explain best as i can. short answer is, as much as the lows seem brutal, they are markers of correction, and often bring greater profit to you longterm than the extreme highs. there is no way to escape pain and discomfort, it is aways there, there are just ways to manage it. some better than others. whilst the extreme highs are beautiful, it is often stated that ignorance is bliss. pain teaches, bliss is what it feels like when youve caught up on your current lesson and are unaware you have another to learn.

to break it down a little further, perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the differentiation your making between your ego and your soul. we all have various parts of ourselves (our inner child, our protector, our ego, our public face, our 'core being'/ soul etc etc, but all of those parts regardless of how distinct they all feel, are still us. there is no way to get away from having an ego, its how you govern yourself, (thoughts, and actions), that determines the nature of that ego. so perhaps the highs and the lows are coming from the process of you defining what a unified/integrated version of you looks and functions like, rather than from a battle of which side of you is right/wrong/should win? only integration of the parts into one whole bring peace. not an end to suffering, but peace through the suffering.

side note, striving for purity can be just as (if not more) misguiding than having allowance and acceptance for what is, and surrendering to the path you are on. if you can find faith in yourself & the world, & trust that for all your misdeeds and 'carnal wants', your heart, mind, and soul, are striving for what is righteous, the highs and lows start to have less to do with you (or being a reflection of how well your doing), and more to do with what your being taught and your level or acceptance/resistance to it. the ebb and flow between periods of disillusionment, periods of making mistakes or falling short, and then periods of recognising your mistakes and the ways you missed your mark, and as such can do better, are examples of how, the dark feeds the light and the light the dark. if the dark is ignorance, and light is knowledge, then the dark is not inherently bad, its just untapped territory that you are navigating, and in navigating it, fostering your evolution. once you are 'evolved' and have shed light on what was once dark, you (being the light) begin to cast shadows that illumine another untapped part of the path. then the cycle plays out again.

you cant cheat the path. unfortunately the pain and suffering is inevitable. we all suffer for the things we choose to believe in. but its the way we suffer or respond to the path/cycle we are on, that determines the version of ourselves that will go on to experience that next part of the cycle. each time we go around, we gain new tools to apply (knowledge wisdom and understanding). the tools are heavy and hard to wield, but with practice comes mastery. the more you keep going, the more resilience you build. it doesnt get easier, but practice makes it bearable. the important thing is that you aren't suffering in vain. some people choose to believe in love, some choose virtue, some choose pleasure, others choose hedonistic pleasure, some choose peace, and others self interest. what matters is suffering for the right cause, and the only right cause is the thing that feels worth it to you in your heart of hearts. in my experience ive found the answer lies somewhere in-between the version of yourself you want to be, and understanding what that version of you has to offer to others. when you go forward on that path, do it not from a desire to escape pain, but because its what you believe in. belief in what you do is the the only thing that makes it worth it

its long answer i know but i hope it answered your question. its also just my opinion/experience. if you read this and feel differently to what ive said, then that may also provide the clarity you need. ultimately you have all the answers inside of you! <3 sending u love and luck

[nectaric]

Common misconceptions:

there seems to be this reoccurring idea about zeus that says he is unintelligent or rash, and that his sex drive is his main motivation for everything and often leads to dumb decisions. which is extremely frustrating because it could not be more opposite. zeus is literally a god known and revered for his wisdom and sense of justice. his decisions are always carefully calculated. and his trysts with lovers are primarily motivated by either duty or love, neither of which are rash acts of lust but something far more meaningful - or at least purposeful. the more research I do, the more convinced I am of this fact, and the 'big idiot Zeus' trope is suuuper misguided.

i'm doing two because I can. a common misconception for hades is this idea that he is somehow kinder, purer, better than the rest of the gods because of some skewed sense of morality that people apply to them. the 'hades can do wrong, he's an innocent teddy bear' kind of rhetoric. I think it's perfectly acceptable to see the good in him, but using hades as this symbol of perfection is not only inaccurate (he doles out cruel punishments, he cheats on his wife, the same as the other gods do), but it also does a disservice to who hades is. he is not meant to be perfect, he is meant to represent the cold and unforgiving but ultimately fair realm he rules. he's not a teddy bear.

An important headcanon:

zeus is an excellent king. he is charismatic and charming, and knows how to work people to get what he wants with startling success rates. he is incredibly wise and observant, and can read a change in the room or in a person's mood from subtle hints. he can infer what people want or need with minimal clues. he has a very strong sense of justice and an aptitude for discovering what is fair and best for people. he has not been perfect and has made mistakes, but he has also owned up to them and continues to strive to be better.

hades being a deeply emotional and troubled individual who is terrified of letting go of the stoic mask he has crafted for himself is integral to his character. hades appears cold and aloof, uncaring and calm, patient and quiet. he is not easy to anger and few have seen him cry. but internally he deals with a lot of emotion and struggle - trauma, anxiety, a feeling of inferiority, autism and its associated struggles. he has to fight to stay composed all the time, and much of his energy is dedicated to that. which means that in interactions with others, he is often putting on a facade - or, if he does let down his guard, it is a sign of utmost trust.

A useless headcanon:

zeus has kept every fathers day gift his children have ever gotten him.

hades keeps a little journal (multiple journals at this point) where he ranks and keeps track of every movie he's ever watched and what he thought about it. Vertigo is his favourite of all time.

Potential triggers:

Zeus' story includes violence, death, torture, child abu/se, eating dis/orders, SA, and a lot more I'm sure.

hades' story is also full of triggering content, for sure. violence, death, kidnapping, SA, alcoholism, child loss, self h/arm, abuse, and probably more I'm forgetting tbh.

Something you enjoy about writing them:

Zeus is so FUN??? his dialogue is always wittier and snappy, with lots of sarcasm or really bold statements that I always enjoy getting to write. and there's such a variety between his relaxed moments, his moments with family, his moments with strangers. genuinely writing his dialogue is always enjoyable.

I also love writing hades when he's laid back tbh. writing a hades who has let his guard down, who dares to crack jokes or be himself is a lot of fun and I wish I could do it more but SOMEONE makes it difficult

Something you want others to know before writing with them:

zeus is not a punching bag. he is not a character I am willing to let be dragged through the mud or treated poorly to make another character look better. I am totally willing to write him in undesirable ways or acknowledge his flaws and mistakes but I won't let him take abuse and honestly??? neither will he. with that in mind, we can still get deep with it!

hades loves his family. and yes, that includes all of them. he may not be close with all of his siblings or nieces and nephews but he still cares deeply for them and tries not to judge them too harshly. insulting any of them in front of him because people think he hates them is probably a bad move.

tagged by: @kallistcs

tagging: you!!