#Ive been thinking abt it and it could be interpreted in different ways | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moomeecore · 1 month

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hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS. why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective. like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept, which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment. simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens. Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence.

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao.

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

#text #asks

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four-bastard-bustle · 2 months

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You know I've always wondered how your interpretation of Matt would've reacted to being punched in the face by Tord in the end part one. Like, he seems the kind of guy who would either go whimper and hide behind Edd like a puppy or would punch back.

Ok so like see this is where you unleashed the floodgates because ive thought abt this scene for ages because its such a peak example of ew(legacy) failing the serious/emotional moments. Making this piece of violence work in a sea of violence is no small undertaking, but I think what it really comes down to is the difference in context between the guys slapping each other around for shits n giggles with no real malice, and the outright fury expressed by Tord in that scene in the episode. If that had been emphasised more, it couldve been peak I think.

This is kind of a lot so its going under the cut

But like, my version of Matt specifically. I mentioned in a couple posts that he was abused pretty heavily as a kid and was occasionally even hit by his father. So having someone suddenly express clear fury over him for doing whatever he was doing and punch him brings back a massive flood of terrible memories. Usually, when one of the other guys hits him, Matt starts whining and complaining. He’s the type to talk and yell a lot when he gets mad. But the sudden fear he feels makes him completely clam up. This is further compounded by the fact that Tord (and by extension Red Leader) goes nonverbal when furious.

Matt lies there on the cold floor. In his mind he sees all the times his father has held him down and “lectured” him for “inappropriate behaviour”. Sometimes he’d even hold his son down by the neck and start squeezing. Strong hands grab his collar and he can feel the air being choked out of him. Matt is surprised that he’s being liften up instead of pushed down for once.

His mind reeling, he can’t tell if the face staring at him in a blind fury is his father’s or “Tord”’s. They’re blending together. They look so terrifyingly similar.

The monster raises its fist but something stops it. A hand clad in green is holding the monster back. There’s talking. Matt wishes he could hear any words. Everything is just ringing for him.

Edd for his part is very much overwhelmed with this situation. As much as he cares for his friends, he is TERRIBLE with conflict resolution. So far, he’s been lucky enough to never need it, but also so far any scraps the boys have gotten into were just petty arguments. This is very different.

Edd starts by just telling “Tord” to let Matt go, at which his grip tightens. He really doesn’t want to add to this by getting physical too, so he just repeats the command, but a little more gently. The fist Edd is holding back shakes a little, but finally “Tord” lets Matt go.

The sound of heavy breathing is filling the room, and no one is able to look one another in the eyes. But after a bit, Red Leader finally collects himself enough to express one clear command.

“Get out of my room.”

Matt doesn’t need to be told twice, and though he’s on shaky legs, he hurries out. Edd gives Tord one more glance before leaving as well. But not without first telling Tord that the two of them are going to talk about this later, when he’s calmed down.

After that, he brings an ice pack to Matt’s attic. The cold helps with the swelling and with Matt’s ongoing panic attack.

But really, Edd is feeling just about every negative emotion right now. He hates how he froze up in shock for a second when Matt got punched instead of immediately helping him up. He wonders why the hell “Tord” felt this protective over a stupid ass button. He hates seeing one of his friends lose himself in a fury this way. He hates seeing another one of his friends have a full on panic attack. He hates that this is kind of the best he can do right now. And he wonders, just what the hell is going on with “Tord” and his secret room.

I want the scene to be so deeply painfully awkward. I want there to be no way Red could laugh it off, or change the topic. I want the three of them to stew in negative emotions like its an awful soup.

Also, the ice cream line. Part of me gets so pissed off by it because Matt literally said he hated ice cream in H&F. But also, as a scene where like, Matt gets too scared to mention that so he just meekly agrees. That’s really good. And I think(?) that’s what the scene was actually intended to be? But they should’ve expressed this better, maybe have a bit in the store where Matt mumbles to himself “But I hate ice cream” as he puts it in the shopping cart. That would definitely be a part of it all in my version of it.

And most importantly no “who’s my brave little soldier” because fuck that line. Infantalize my man like that again and I’ll smite thee.

Uh I mentioned doing my own hc au version of th* *nd and not making it as melodramatic, so I don’t think this would happen in my version of the entire episode. But this is just my version of the Scene. Very different things

#You underestimated my favourite trope. Blabbermouth characters being stunned into silence #And trauma #Writing #I could swear i had a writing tag but i don't remember it #ew matt #ew edd #ew red leader #eddsworld #bastard related inquiries #Read my text boy

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highoncatfood · 2 months

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im going to dump my thoughts on u here cuz i can anyway have u heard of the song Bed of Roses by Mindless Self Indulgence ive been listening to it on loop and i am going to share with u my interpretation of the lyrics cuz it seems im an outlier amongst what people (or atleast whats on the genius page) think it means but my take is so real and true to me

basically Bed of Roses is thought to be a song about being passive in life and letting things pass you by and happen as they do, not caring about making the perfect life, but for me personally it always came off as being about suicidal thoughts and that interpretation not only makes more sense to me but also is far more interesting

'hey its alright my life has never been a bed of roses' is the singer talking about their life, saying how its unlike a bed of roses which are seen as beautiful and also a symbol of love (also searching it up it seems bed of roses is an expression for a carefree easy life) in short theyre saying their life sucks, but thinking of it in the context of it being suicidal its interesting because the 'hey its alright' then sounds like a rationalization, the following line 'this ways better for me' only helps with painting this image. its a person rationalizing their thoughts by going 'hey my life has always sucked, death would just be better for me'

and the line 'i dont care to live the life ive chosen' further adds to this, its explicitly saying they dont care to live their life

then theres the next part, which is pretty similiar to the last but then there is the line 'dont feel sorry for me', they're asking an outside party to not feel bad for their planned demise, and its repetition makes it seem like begging almost. tying this into the earlier verses which can be read as rationalization makes it seem like the singer is a person trying to comfort and placate a close one, by rationalizing that their suicide will be better for them and begging them to not feel sorry

also 'feeling sorrys been my lifes devotion' is a banger line . i have thoughts on what it could be interpreted as but i feel like the connections arent strong enough and the line like speaks for itself i think

i think this part could be about being resistance to change or healing, it could be a negative reaction to this outside party trying to talk them out of it or reason with them, but in the end they still say 'my friend' showing they care and love them. the 'screw you' could perhaps also be read as someone trying to distance themselves from their loved ones in hopes that their death wont be as painful then

i think its interesting how after that the song ends with just a reptition of 'my lifes never been a bed of roses', perhaps im looking too far into it but it could be seen as the 'last stage', of fixating on the worst parts of life as you spiral annnd .

anyway i like this song and i kinda associate this song with seth but 4 different reasons (flower imagery, lifes sucked, not wanting pity, 'feeling sorrys been my life devotion' -> religion with its emphasis on remorse for sins and devotion. etc.)

was not expecting this at all and i dont know this song but! i like this interpretation thank u for sharing honestly i always love to read too much into lyrics and i tend to come up with diff interpretations than wht was most likely the artists intention

for example recently ive been thinking of reuse the cels by car seat headrest as a song abt gender dysphoria and the transition process (when in.reality its abt like. getting back into a relationship with someone which havent worked out in the past or whetevr)

i like to think the narrator is actually talking abt themself 'i should be glad to have you back' the 'you' being their own sense of identity

'i know every frame so many times that ive seen' refering to their own body, reminiscent of how a lot of trans folks experiencing dysphoria who tend to worry abt their self image and the ways their body looks, r constantly thinking abt it and spotting every detail, being forced to look at it everyday, wishing it was something esle/wanting to change it

this chorus and lines to me r abt hrt and like. thinking of times before realizing they were trans, times when maybe they were oblivious and not yet so worried abt their body and/or identity and wanting to not have to worry again and be happy with themself, hoping tht hrt will help with that. but at the same time the fear and anxiety that comes with not knowing if medically transitioning will guarantee being freed from all the insecurity and pain caused by the dysphoric feelings. asking urself what if it doesnt satisfy. wht if going through all that trouble, all those changes, spending all that time and money doesnt even bring the result ur hoping for. is it worth it? u dont have to do all of that. wht if all it does is drain u of energy and hope and actually make u into something further from wht ur goal was (symbolized by fading colors on reused animation cels [idk much abt that but also u could interpret it as like real body cells i guess] like.... the repeating process of replacing hormones, going through constant physical changes and stuff) so generally like. indecision and thinking too far ahead/overthinking i guess. does any of that make sense im jst saying whtever comes to mind at this point i gave up on trying to keep this cohesive

'doesnt it seem an awful waste' and 'will i lose you again' can be the narrator again referring to themself, thinking that the person they were pre-transition will fade away. that they couldve lived a completely different life, that all they do is bring 'that girl or boy they couldve been' to an end. replacing them with the desired version of themself, but not sure if thats still even the same person they used to be

and. i think it should be obvious but this is all based on how i myself deal with and think of my identity as a trans person. i feel like i should clarify that this isnt me saying that this is the experience of every trans person, each of us is different etc etc

um anyway yeah thanks for the ask wiki i might listen to the song u talked abt at some point <3

#asks #car seat headrest #living while starving #lyric analysis #trans #csh #gadanie

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gothibara · 1 year

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Okay, so related to that one post abt somebody with plant powers not really being able to control ibara, how DO you think she sees the world?? Like to be honest i live your interpretation of her quirk and could read a whole book on it. You said it was kinda translated right? so how would she expreince her senses then??

Haha, thats a really good question! Ive actually been reading a book on plant perception lately (What A Plant Knows, by Daniel Chamovitz) so while i cant say i definitely know everything, its helped put things into perspective. also for the sake of Not Being Buzzkills obviously horikoshi didnt think abt this its just hc im using canon to supplement and draw conclusions dont be silly

also um. im putting this under a cut because it really is a book's worth of meta. i got really excited.

But i think, from how we see Ibara, a large part of it is going to be filtered through religious experiences+delusions. It already seems like how she talks and understands thing is subconsciously put through this filter (i dont think shes calling shishida "apocalypse beast" out of spite or to be inflammatory-- there is religious theory that the beast of gevaudan may have been god-sent, albeit this theory is rare and far from widely accepted. Ibara doesnt seem to follow any specific doctrine, though, and i really think parts of it are just kinda her brain drawing connections in line with her deeply personal beliefs as opposed to dogma. To her it may just be that she believes theyre saying the same thing in essence, while he does not)

But on the topic of sensory experiences specifically, I would also say that Ibara is experiencing exponentially higher levels of sensory input than most people, so i cant blame her for being a space cadet. And while the fainting is an anime-only gag presumably to show her delicate sensibilities or whatever i personally am choosing to interpret it as an incredibly reasonable consequence of her brain hitting the limit. Like cut the cameras im OUT!!! It's documented frequently in the history of religious ecstasy and other spiritual experiences, so adding an assload of input i can imagine only heightens your chance.

And so onto your question about how that manifests-- its hard to say! But i have a few ideas.

Firstly, i think we should address what the plant is perceiving, and how. In a base function, we can say that they respond to stimuli in certain forms (light, sound, smell, balance, touch, etc) which loosely correlates with our own senses. They differ in the organs used, though, but Ibara having a centralized animal brain both simplifies and complicates it.

Plants don't "see" pictures-- they have sensory cells dedicated to seeing both light and different wavelengths of light (which helps control their circadian cycle and even flowing schedule! Even a small disruption of flashing a certain color light during the night can allow farmers to delay or change when certain plants flower), but these arent rods and cones connected to an optical nerve connected to a brain. But at the same time, they... ARE connected to a brain.

I think for Ibara, plant sight is like a murky, back-of the mind addition to her normal range of vision. It's not a picture the same way her Eyes work, but she knows intuitively theres light, shadow, and colors around her, and can focus in on it a little more if she tries. Details and motion that doesn't block light wouldnt be part of it-- the plant can only see what blocks light covering it or reflects light onto it. Ever-periphery flashes of shadowy shapes and colors. (and conversely: i think the prayer pose, with eyes closed and hands clasped makes it easier to focus on the information filtering through)

sound is also different-- while the studies about plant growth and music are bunk, plants do react to sound. the mechanics of it are still heavily under-explored, but we know they do, just so long as its sound that may be relevant to a plant, like running water or insects chewing. I don't think Ibara could do what Hawks does-- where he can focus in on sounds through his wings and hear conversations. The vines aren't a dedicated sensory organ, they just communicate signals back that are of relevance. She may KNOW there's sound somewhere, but it's background noise until it's something that triggers a response. The question is really what would be deemed important enough to do so.

See, the thing with plants is that they don't have emotions, or even a centralized brain, as we've established. Animals can and do. humans especially. Things deemed important by a person can be important for a variety of reasons, beyond just survival. While Ibara uses the vines as an extension of her limbs, it doesn't change the built in systems of stimuli response the plant has, but the plant isn't a brain in the sense that it will decide anything. So the question of What Ibara Hears from the plant is an interesting one. Personally, I don't think she hears the sounds "as is". Ibara doesn't HEAR insects chewing, because the cells are communicating a stimulus and response, so it would be an interpretation of the response. Sort of a plato's cave issue-- I think ibara may say she "hears omens of danger" or "tidings of great joy", but it's not like she's being told a Coherent Thought By The Vines. it's sound of water = good = we are safe and can find safety + an avidly catholic teenager = the angels bring tidings of joy. it's thing she "hears" but doesnt hear because its never actually touching her own aural organs or nerves. She may not be able to pinpoint what the sound itself is, just what it evokes or what her brain fills the gap in as, like talking.

Taste and smell are both something plants do, but defined slightly differently, as we associate these things with specific nerves in the human body that plants Dont Have. to define it the way my book does, we're going to say "taste is the reception of chemical signals through touch" and "smell is the reception of chemical signals dispersed through the air". and plants do taste, and taste one another-- many parasitic plants show preference for certain species, like the dodder vine. other vines, especially those that climb, will avoid climbing their own species because they know that the support is unstable. this is something they figure out by the chemicals they release onto their surface. This is something that would really be tightened up by ibara having an actual real world plant on her head but trust me trying to find anything that matches is a mess. more on that in a bit. but we know, in theory, she can "taste" other plants, and maybe even other type of similar compounds through these vines, which i think would then also manifest in at least a vague idea of a taste in her mouth-- once again, platos cave of sensation, although honestly its probably a bit more in line with what the actual thing would taste like. (tomatoes, for example). this taste may also correlate with a signal that associates emotionally, but ill touch on that in the pain part of this.

Smell is similar- once again, just detected through the air instead of touch. (The smell of cut grass? An airborne danger signal. Ibara probably can't stand being around freshly-cut lawns, it must feel like a giant panic attack. How this would manifest? Not sure! The smell of blood? As a sound instead? It's hard to say what could compare to the scope of fear that kind of flood would cause). I won't go into depth since it's the same as above, but I would also like to add carbon dioxide as a mention. Plants can detect levels of CO2 (and it can decide how they photosynthesize!) in the air, and I think because for Ibara, photosynthesis has to be accelerated (due to the faster growth and usage of energy being more akin to that of an animal instead of a plant) and she and the plant share an exchange of signals and nutrients.

I'm going to diverge briefly into the realm of digestion and nutrition. Firstly because I love it. Secondly because it will circle back to our carbon dioxide talk.

Ibara's vines are, as we see, leafless. This is quite relevant. Leaves, as most people know, are responsible for the majority of photosynthesis. While chlorophyll in any parts of the plant can photosynthesize, leaves are by far the most effective way thanks to the broad surface area and certain specializations. Leafless plants (especially in the case of vines) tend to be parasitic. Plants that evolve photosynthetically-inefficient leaves tend to be carnivorous, which I would like to explore a little.

A plant is defined as carnivorous if, typically, it shows a form majorly inclined towards having prey-trapping mechanisms, and receives a substantial amount of nutrition from doing so. They tend to grow in areas that have high sunlight and water levels, but with incredibly nutritionally deficient soil. Nutrients like nitrogen, phosphorous, and proteins, which are found in meat (bugs included)

Now, Ibara's vines don't have visible roots, so I think it's safe to assume the root system is within her body, and goes deep below the surface. Water, nutrients, and neurological signals all need to be shared; and so I think her entire body is connected to this root system. Ergo, all the nutrition the plant gets that isn't photosynthesized comes from what Ibara digests-- which is also why I don't personally subscribe to the vegan or vegetarian Ibara headcanon-- because nitrogen and phosphorous are INTEGRAL to stem growth, and baby, she's all stem. In fact, I think she probably loves meat-- second only to bread, which provides long-term energy in the form of complex sugars. I personally think Ibara would dislike sweets in the traditional sense of candy and desserts outside of winter-induced cravings from a drop in photosynthesis, but that would be because the sugars her vines produce for her already maintain a decent level of homeostasis, so it would cause her blood sugar to spike and make her feel ill. Conversely, bread breaks down and is stored much more long term, so it would both benefit her and the plant, which is inefficient at photosynthesis compared to a plant of the same size with leaves, and would need a boost given how much energy it uses to grow, detach, and move.

I know this girl can put away a MEALLLL after training. Yaomomo style.

I think you could argue Ibara (and her quirk) qualifies as a carnivorous plant. Her vines lack leaves and instead have developed extensive thorns (which can be a type of modified stem-- its complicated and varies plant to plant), and we never see them branch off of each other, so they may not even be capable of developing stems. She also doesn't appear to have any flowering mechanism (nor does she need one!), although I will say I'm a sucker for the idea of Ibara having psuedo-blossoms that aren't functional flowers, but rather an indicator of health. Either way, the heavy focus on the vines for strength, complex movement, and grasping through pointed extrusions makes me think you could convincingly argue that they are the "trapping mechanism", which is a requirement for carnivorous plants.

So, once again, we've established that there's a complex nutrient exchange both from Ibara to the vines, but from the vines to Ibara. And because of this, I think there's an added level of complexity to her digestive system-- specifically regarding the stomach's direct connection to the brain. Just like her own nutritional needs can trigger certain responses like in any person, but the plant probably has the same access to these hormone signals. Things like craving sugar and being irritable in winter because of the inability to produce her own as much, but also conversely, I think the plant can trigger a digestive response to prepare for the influx of sugar being photosynthesized. A "heads up, we're about to start sending this your way" to help maintain proper levels.

So, back to carbon dioxide finally. When plants detect higher carbon dioxide levels in the air, they may photosynthesize more. This may result, in my opinion, to "phantom smells" and a trigger to the digestive system, resembling how our own mouth waters when we smell food. Whether it's just an ambiguous food smell or one specifically (maybe bread?) to Ibara I'm not sure, but what I'm saying is that if Bakugou's explosions over the course of an hour can produce about the same amount of carbon dioxide as an entire person throughout one day, she probably thinks he smells fucking delicious and for no reason why. It's funny to me.

Ok! On to touch. I think it's obvious that Ibara's vines react to touch and that's transmitted to her, given how she knows that she's found someone and is pulling them out in JTA. Plants definitely can feel touch, and respond, but I'd like to note that plants can't feel pain. They don't have the ability to feel pain. They can react to adverse touch, certainly-- for example, grass releasing their smell when cut, but they don't feel pain. It's solely for survival, and feeling pain isn't really important for a relatively stationary being. Nor do they really have the factor of emotional association with pain that typically is bundled together. But in the case of Ibara; who, once again, has the burden of the complex mammalian brain... maybe she does feel pain, even if it's not "real"! It likely has to do with whether she has the expectation of and emotional association of fear/pain/etc, so simply cutting away the vines aren't likely to make her hurt. But I don't think phantom pain is out of the question, especially for someone already as high-strung as Ibara and who has so many wires crossing at so many times because of the nuance of the signals transmitted from cell to cell.

And related to touch... a fascinating and storied study in plants includes gravitropism and proprioception, or-- balance and how they know what's up and what's down! People have incredibly complex proprioception systems (most people know about the inner ear, but it goes far deeper than that!), and plants, too, make use of this ability. In fact, it's integral for plant growth.

Plants have two main mechanisms for gravity sensing. The root caps, and then in the stems, the endodermis (which is also responsible for osmosis in cells, sorta) both have genes that develop statoliths, similar to the otoliths we have in the inner ear. These statoliths tell the plant which way gravity is pulling. The root caps make roots grow down, the endodermis makes the shoots grow up.

I think for Ibara, her vines have become an extension of her own balance and ability to know where she is in space. Losing all of them suddenly would result in something similar to a damaged ACL-- having to readjust and being wobbly for a while. Not only that, but I think quirks that impact someone's sense of balance would seriously waste Ibara. While Ibara does move her vines in more ways than up and down, the ability to tell what's what still relies on the individual cells in the stems and roots. While Ibara would still be able to produce the growth hormone and self-amputating mechanisms that detach her vines (i have to look more into this, honestly-- autotomy has only been recorded in one type of plant, and even with abscission ibara's vines dont follow typical patterns. smh my head.), there would be little if any control over the movement, especially if the balance reduction hits the endodermis in more ways than one, because that would impair the hydrolic movement that causes movement in plants.... Either way, Ibara's quirk would be rendered functionally useless. Deidoro Sakaki has this one. And in my opinion, with Uraraka's quirk, they would grow, but wouldn't show proper gravitropic bending, and so may also be impaired in their ability to perform actions.

And I think a complete removal of Ibara's vines would honestly feel like... overwhelmingly suffocating? Imagine having so much of the senses you're used to having cut off, it's probably incredibly jarring and upsetting. I don't think she would prefer it to the every day life she lives, because it seems like she's generally not that impeded by her own world view and strict standards, even if others oppose it (OCD queen lets go #1).

So...as a TLDR; I think Ibara experiences normal human sensory input, she just has another layer that bleeds into it. While I often refer to the plant separately in the above, that's solely for clarity of biological mechanic explanations-- they're one and the same, the same way we started reproducing mitochondria despite their likely beginning as a different organism. She may see things that aren't there (like in the case of warning signals from other plants, or in her mental translation of all sorts of things), "hear" things in her mind, smell or taste or even feel pain... while the mechanics aren't the "real" ones we associate with the senses in question, she's still reacting to stimuli she is receiving, and I think she's learned to adapt to it. It's hard to explain, because it almost has a sort of eldritch feel... but really, Ibara is Ibara, she's a bit stubborn and translates everything into her world view, and so that determinative personality probably helps streamline the constant influx of information. Angels, music, emotions, memories-- those are things she assigns to the experiences, but they are no less validated by the biological machinations behind them. Human survival also relies on our ability to feel and the more complex machinations of the brain, the social advantages of more refined expressions and speech, and Ibara's just as human as her classmates, and her quirk ultimately is another part of that, even if we know the individual cells of the plant are without that same neurological function.

#ibara shiozaki #shiozaki ibara #bnha #bnha meta #quirk analysis #yes im adding a lot of tags im proud of this.

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onstoryladders · 1 year

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one of the things that make bylers and miIevens view of the show utterly incompatible is the way we see el and her feelings towards mike (but more specifically her feelings towards her relationship with mike)

ive seen people say that bylers only care abt mike and will and don't give a damn abt her, but that's just a misunderstanding based on the fact that they see els arc in a totally different way than we do

for example the way i see it, el reached the peak of her pain (when it comes to her love life) at the start of s4 when she and mike fought in lenora. when mike told will that it felt like a fight you can't come back from, he wasn't exaggerating at all: it was the truth. there's no coming back from that, and the "from el" written at the end of what could very possibly have been els LAST message to mike is proof of that. she left that love behind

now why do i think that?

because of the way the whole storyline has been structured:

- el spends basically the whole season away from mike because she chooses to. she focuses on something else, her priorities lie in finding herself and the truth about her own past. once again her arc points towards self discovery and independence, and with this i don't mean to say that she has to be alone in order to be independent, but that she needs to find who she is OUTSIDE of her relationships. when mike says that she's a superhero he's once again imposing a certain view on her that she doesn't want. she needs to decide for herself. she needs to find who el hopper really is

- mike works through his internal conflict with the help of the other love interest. literally wtf lmao

- when el reunites with mike and will, she has the same reaction with both. now of course shes happy to see them, but when we get to the surfer boy place, she doesn't seem mad at mike anymore. she seems tired, contemplative, sad like she reached a conclusion........

why is that important? because if mikes monologue had to be what FIXED their relationship then she would've still been mad at him at that point. there wouldve been conflict because that's how stories work – up and down and up and down. so she would've avoided him or just kept her distance in general. but she doesn't. because she's done

IMAGINE FOR A MOMENT if the surfer boy scene went differently. imagine mike just telling her "ily" and she smiling and saying "ily too 💖💖 you finally said it 💖💖💖💖" it wouldve been so fucking anticlimactic lol

- mikes monologue doesn't fix shit because we don't see them together anymore. like yeah she puts her head on his shoulder in the hospital, but if the monologue was really meant to be this grand turning point for their relationship they would've put more focus on its aftermath.... and they didn't

- mike telling her "you're my superhero" goes against the core of els character arc throughout not only this season but the whole show. mike didn't learn anything

now im not saying ppl have to agree with me on this, even though of course i think this is the interpretation that 1) makes the most sense and 2) is most significant and compelling storytelling-wise. im just saying that once you see things this way the "byler don't care about el" argument crumbles because that's literally false: we don't want el to suffer and be alone against her will, we want her to leave mike behind because we genuinely think that it's what's best for her because her storyline SUPPORTS THAT

meanwhile wills story doesnt support heartbreak at all because of the way his feelings for mike are interwoven with his feelings about his sexuality

#byler #byler analysis #sorta

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yuukei-yikes · 11 months

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Okay okay okay I have a very specific itch to hear about Mekakushi Dan sensory needs and bc you're the first person I can think of who has drawn them stimming I thought your askbox was the perfect place to launch myself. If you have thoughts here pls feed me. Bonus points for Takane's sensory needs + challenges before becoming a computer program and post str bc I do think her needs would be different than they were before?? I think not having a body for 2 years would do that to you

HI ok i dont have a lot of headcanons in general its mostly haruka and takane and mostly takane. i think haruka is the one ive drawn stimming the most Like i just think that guy would flap his little hands around yknow.

so im sorry i dont have hcs for the whole mekadan. IF UR INTERESTED IN A PARTICULAR MEKADAN GUY u can ask me and I'll come up with something >:3 it just feels overwhelming to think of it all at once. and also u said takane and you know damn well im abt to talk for 1 million hours

ok. takane❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ sorry this isn't sensory needs but girl.. takanes Gamer Secret being found out... idk man it's like. this bitch had been MASKING‼️‼️‼️

even in hs days i think takane feels weird about Touching with her hands. she doesn't have the cartoonishly large sleeves she has as ene, but i think she pulls down her sleeves over her hands like in this specific manga panel i indeed have in speed dial

i wish it appeared more often bc its a cute shoutout to ene later on and also WOOO THIS BITCH HAS SENSORY ISSUES!!! i made a comic abt it once but haruka designing actor with the bigass sleeves because he observed that takane pulls down her sleeves. *bite bite bite bite bite* also this panel has always been a fave of mine bc of autism creature takane and also bc the desk is like. at haruka's chest and he looks like he's sitting on the ground

i also think its very funny to imagine takane kicking ass in games while holding the controller with her sleeves over it and everyone's like ?????girl what. ofc she probably has specific textures she hates and all that, takane doesnt feel weird about touching as a whole.

in several instances of yuukei yesterday haruka and takane casually touch each other and while thats obviously cuz they're close friends, a lot of close friends dont act that way or arent comfortable with touch yknow!! in fact takanes the one to start most physical interactions with him. i could be crazy enough to go and check but im gonna trust my memory. and bc i love art where ene is jumping on shintaro and stuff i like to think takane is Actually touchy with ppl she trusts. also she doesnt register personal space sometimes, and ends up standing too close without noticing until someone points it out. i guess this is a bit contrary to a typical takane interpretation (UR STANDING TOO CLOSE DUMBASS🙄🙄🙄🙄 tsundere moment) but i think it's a fun spin to it. i think kenjirou is the one to most point it out like Girl step BACK ur all in my zone and she's like UGH WHATEVER and haruka also notices but never rly says anything. he probably loves it lol haruka's so overdue physical connection he loves that takane doesn't mind touching him or being close to him. also since they have a big height difference its not like she's all up on his face. i think takane starts letting go more once her ene secret's out and stops caring so much but it sorta comes back when ayano and shintaro join the group. i think shintaro especially would point out UGH WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME or even question why she's so close to haruka or ayano. haruka and ayano are all like NOOO DONT WORRY I DONT MIND but takanes already mortified and is more self aware

another one. takane with her big old headphones. yeah yeah uses them disconnected to get haruka's attention Whatever she also uses them bc she prefers hearing stuff muffled instead of hearing it directly 👍 when she gets overwhelmed she puts those things on with the music to the max and just logs out for a min

OH also this is a canon one😼😼😼 her leg bouncy thing. shintaro points it out in the seventh novel that takane is bouncing her leg and says it's a nervous habit he never noticed on her but TO ME. SHE DOES THAT❤️ takane has huge leg bouncer energy i bet she makes the whole table shake and everyone asks her to quit it and she says Damn ok sorry and stops it for a total of 50 seconds before starting again

anyways in summary hs takane is like. tends not to notice personal space, hates touching stuff with her hands, likes having control over what or how she hears, and has a tough time staying still. POST STR... its all to the max. takane is overly aware of everything. all 5 senses are as much of a nightmare as they are a relief and it's all mixed together!!!!

ok her sensory needs that she already had pre ene are still there but completely amped up, except the personal space one. now everyone is always too close and literally just opening her eyes (HEH!! OPENING EYES!!!!) is super overwhelming bc WHOA EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE AND HUGE AND HD. i could imagine comparing it to like, wearing contacts for the first time for any fellow glasses wearing people. like u know this, youve seen all this. but suddenly youre watching it differently without a frame around ur eyes and it just feels weird. for takane the frame was a screen instead of the glasses yknow. and to her its A LOT

i think post str takane keeps using her powers and having meltdowns because on top of all the existentialism she has to deal with being alive and everything, suddenly She Cannot Control Anything And It Is A Nightmare. she can't handle the lack of control she has over her needs and body temperature. just feeling hungry or sweating after walking for a little in summer makes her upset. bc she gets her body back during summer so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT GIRL. the clothes she wears feel all insane and irritated and nauseous!!! awful!!! even showers feel strange bc AUGGHHH so much is touching her at once!!! she also hates eating soooo yeah also a thing. i think she's always been a picky eater but post str its like she will only eat like 2 things or something

ON THE OTHER HAND.... it suddenly goes on the opposite end. like for a few days she's nightmare overstim city and then she's SUPER understim and COMPLETELYYYYY over eager about having a body and horribly indulges in like. overeating and running around <- overeating (especially when u usually avoid eating), awful for ur tummy. running a lot when u have chronic pains, also awful for ur pains later. sooo nothing she wont pay the price for later. it needs to get pointed out to her she needs to find a balance and cant have all or nothing (by haruka probably)

the personal space thing comes back here like she gets So touchy and needs hug or death. i think she can be all happy hugging haruka and all of a sudden pushes him away and is like WHOA I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW MAYBE RIP MY SKIN OFF TOO MAYBE so it's rly like a light switch all of a sudden she can get overwhelmed with it and revert. like jumping back and forth between seeking and avoiding sensation.

i drew this once but haruka with his arms inside of takane's sleeves LOLLL i think skin to skin rly helps her when she's feeling like she needs sensation. a big part of the sudden overindulgence is OUGH IM REAL!!!! bc like i said takane isnt just dealing with having a body again she's dealing with having her Life again. being alive again. and she LOVES being alive. and the avoidance of all these sensations sometimes piles up and ends on the opposite like I NEED TO EAT💥💥💥I NEED TO SCREAM💥💥💥💥I NEED TO RUN AND HUG AND KISS AND DANCE AND SWIM💥💥💥 yknow. so yeah haruka helps her a lot with it when she needs touching and hugging 🙏🙏🙏 cuz he also wont get offended if she's suddenly like Ok get away from me before i explode🙏

also post str takane To Me also has mobility issues like haruka does bc all her muscles are atrophied from yknow Not moving for 2 years so it's like, even more that she has to deal with. physical therapy is incredibly invasive to her too so it's extra difficult. i think haruka and her do it together and that's why haruka is so on top of what's going on with her, he's the closest and sees her whenever she's the most vulnerable. also their situations are So similar they cant help just gravitating to each other for support. i also think haruka's the one to always point out to her when she's overindulging like Hey i love that ur rly enjoying that bigmac but i can already see you wanting to rip out ur organs later tonight so maybe dont eat a third one.

anyways ermmm takane's biggest challenge is Stop resorting to opening eyes whenever it gets too bad. like i also got sensory issues and assuming whoever is reading also does imagine having the option to just Jump out of ur body when its feeling Awful. ofc ur gonna take it when ur feeling like that. but it doesn't help takane to do it. while it helps her to calm down, it's not good in the long run. she actively wants a PHYSICAL life and work on all this. takane never wanted to die and is super motivated to get better but it's not quick or easy!!! eventually she finds a good balance i think. she's still a rly touchy person who hates grabbing her phone directly without the sleeves in the middle and will only eat like 3 things❤️ but also a hug lover❤️

#takane enomoto #ask tag #headcanons

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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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☕️ sirius’ relationship w his parents. ive seen so many dif takes w orion being a somewhat loving but passive father, to being even worse than walburga, or walburga being very physically abusive, to her being only emotionally abusive, etc. did they ever find out about sirius’ queerness, when, how

oooh this is another subject that i could see. so many different interpretations for!! obviously all we really know in canon is that sirius's parents were shitty in some way shape or form, to the point that he ran away from home and got disowned. i think people tend to focus in on walburga more just because we have more of a character for her in canon--like, we don't see orion's portrait yelling at everyone, y'know? and i think that's why he tends to get read as more passive than walburga.

personally when i'm interpreting sirius's relationship with his parents i tend to view. orion as essentially more distant and emotionally neglectful, rather than loving and passive--but still a bit secondary to walburga in terms of their dynamic with sirius. i still tend to interpret orion as very much like. the patriarch of the family, and like the person who got the final say on shit, and the person walburga answered to--because i do usually imagine pureblood households as intrinsically patriarchal. but i imagine that orion would sort of leave the disciplining to walburga, and that she was the parent who was much more involved in her children's lives. (gonna put the rest under a cut since i'm gonna be talking abt abuse + homophobia so! tw)

in terms of like. what kind of abuse sirius was suffering. i mean i really think that is very broadly open to interpretation. i think i tend to imagine that emotional abuse was like, the biggest aspect of it, and that to the extent that it was physical it was very much hidden and like. the sort of thing that may have walked the line between people brushing it off versus people taking it seriously--i.e, some people will get really upset if they hear someone hit their kid, others will think that's a legit form of discipline. and i think magic was definitely part of it as well--like walburga using silencio on sirius to steal his voice, etc. i think that as sirius grew older and started to act out more the abuse started to get worse as his parents attempted to "discipline" him or just to punish him for acting out, and i usually imagine that all of this built up until there was some very extreme instance of like. physical (or magical--i.e, crucio) abuse that caused him to finally feel like he had no option but to leave.

as for them figuring out he was queer. i like the hc that alphard was gay, and i imagine walburga growing up and seeing her brother get outed and like. horribly disowned from the family and driven out, and really internalizing this sort of vitriolic hatred towards queerness, feeling like her brother had been corrupted and led astray, etc etc. and i imagine her sort of...picking up on some of the signs in sirius as he's growing older and hitting puberty, even as he himself is still figuring it out. like i imagine walburga and sirius fighting about his hair a lot, for example, with walburga feeling like him imitating the hairstyles of muggle rockstars is queer, and sirius thinking he's just copying these cool guys that he likes a lot for...some reason. no reason in particular. it's probably nothing. y'know?

so i imagine walburga essentially "realizing" about sirius before sirius has even come to terms with it himself, and i imagine him really struggling with internalized homophobia because of this. like, because his first introduction to queerness is essentially his mother accusing him of being dirty and corrupted and wrong, i think even after he leaves home and has a healthier environment to figure himself out, he'd still have this very deep internalized fear that his mother was right about him, and i think it would take him a long time to come to terms with queerness as something that is not wrong, the way he was taught to think of it.

that is how i usually interpret sirius's relationship with his parents--but, like i said at the beginning, this is a subject i've seen taken in many different directions, and i'm not like. super attached to any one narrative. i think there's a lot of different possible ways to write the black family dynamic!

#ask

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thatabitcryptic · 2 years

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HI HELLO

i'm a writer looking to get into making Undertale fanfics and i'm worried abt characterization revolving specifically Papyrus and Ive been told ur good at the whole Papy thing.

Do u have any major tips about nailing his character down?

Hmmmm tbh he’s very hard to write!!

Vomit all ur ideas onto a page then go through them with a set of questions to see if they are actually something that would happen for example, Is there canon evidence that directly contradicts this? Am I purposely dismissing things in canon in order to add this? Have I written something that makes another character look bad in ways adverse to canon to add tension? If so is there a way I can write this conflict occurring differently? And most importantly!! If Toby fox saw this would he cringe and cry and weep??

I also think it’s important to understand how papyrus interacts with the characters around him :-)

When it comes to writing characters it’s easy to dive straight into angst and I think you can do that with paps (tho one of the main things about him is his optimism so u have to be careful) but u can’t dunk on other characters while u do it,, some fics I’ve read have had sans be a bad brother.. or at least one that doesn’t notice what’s going on with papyrus when that’s just straight up… not true.. one of the first things sans says to frisk is that he noticed paps was feeling down and that seeing a human would cheer him up,, sometimes people go to undyne and see how she didn’t want to let papyrus into the royal guard because they think she treats him like a child which is also not true!!

A big thing the fandom does is project onto characters and say they infantise paps but that’s just not really how canon depicts them,, so main thing is don’t sacrifice canon characterisation for some quick angst

I think if u wanted to write angst for papyrus u could go into his past with gaster something he canonically goes silent over.. or maybe focus on him changing his dialogue depending on who is present,, what is he hiding?????? Or his insecurities about being great bc that is always interesting

u must also remember he is a silly guy!!!!!!!!! He says things like whoopsy doopsy!!!!!!! Very soft and full of calcium!!!!!!!! He’s just funny - sometimes ppl see this as him being dumb and write misunderstandings in the plot of their fics arising from him doing something that makes no sense but I don’t think he’s dumb he knows what he’s saying is strange and that’s why he’s saying it!! He’s a little freak!!!!!!

Also he’s a brutal kinda guy!!! Interpret that how u like!! Who knows what it means!

Add some flavour!!!!!!!! Add some of ur own headcanons in places where we are missing actual canon just make sure it’s believable! Canonically we don’t actually know if he’s autistic or not but like!! It fits!! So I like to add it in :-))

Just have fun with it tho, if u think u end up writing something that doesn’t fit it’s okay at least u recognised it for next time :D

#tbh I haven’t written a fic in a while so idk if this helps at all aha #these are just things I like to think about when I characterise him in art and stuff lol #asks #also 😳 you’ve been told I’m good with papyrus 🫣

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un-pearable · 2 years

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OMG so ive been thinking abt this ever since i saw ur ninjas from different time periods au but the way u incorporated the love triangle there (jay thinking they hate him for starting all of that) has driven me crazy ive been thinking about it for forever this guy gets so scared of them hating him and im like. Shakes u ur brain is so big i hope u know that idk where i was going with this i just that tidbit has wormed its way into my head ever since

yeah!!!! i just. okay so a) it’s already mostly textual given his entire arc in s4 but ALSO b) i have so many issues with how people hc jay to have anxiety and like. cool that’s how anxiety actually works?? misreading the situation and overreacting like jay does is both understandable and INCREDIBLY IN CHARACTER and as much as later seasons/fanon cram him into a very exaggerated portrayal of someone with anxiety this is where i relate to him the most. this is what being social anxious actually does: backfiring. overthinking situations that could be resolved easily if he didn’t take it so personally that it blows up BOTH his biggest relationships. the only difference from the stereotypical portrayal of an anxious person is that jay doesn’t shut down, he just keeps digging himself into a hole, which is a very real way that it manifests. i have done this. it is incredibly easy to do this. we are social machines built to interpret people and it is so so easy to misinterpret or overestimate or just plain fuck it up. jay is literally, textually insecure and the love triangle, as poorly executed as it is, took a sledgehammer to his sense of self and what he thought was a given: that nya liked him and cole was his best friend!!! this is STILL fucking him up when s3 ends - as annoying as the scene where he gets frustrated cole is the one comforting nya after zane’s sacrifice is, i do think it matters that it’s a raw wound. it’s something that stays and bothers him all the way through s4 bc they don’t get the chance to reconcile like they usually would. and that would REALLY suck bc he knows he shouldn’t care this much bc zane is dead. they’re all mourning. he shouldn’t still be so fixated on the drama but he is and he can’t help it. and zane’s dead. it’s just a compounding of the most stressful possible social drama with the most traumatic experience any of them have been through and anyway that’s why i am bullying jay ninjago and yoinking him from his coping via syndicated television phase. also the suit is funny

#this is!!! a mess!!!!! and poorly worded!!!!! but fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry i just woke up and am STILL thinking g about jay ninjago i need to stop #i’ll make a Funny post about why his early characterization works later #also!!! sry the reason i haven’t replied to that ask is bc i mean to draw smthn for it but i have been Busy so au update has been on hold #anyway so i’m so so glad you share my brainrot agshdjdjdk jay is. fascinating to me #text✨#ty for your ask i will go lose my mind for the next six hours

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spikeinthepunch · 1 year

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rebrand conflict

idk how to decide what is a good or bad decision in terms of like...wanting to rebrand. i wish i could count back to how long i have used "morrysillusion" overall, i dont have a specific date. but i know after the white/brown antelope/wolf fursona, i think i dropped "moreyytilatot"? i think i tried to just go by "morey" in some form (i recall "princemorry" url). and then i dropped the 'nisovinsillusion' url maybe in early 2016? but i also had the coffini url here for a good while after. i cant remember if i used morrysillusion outside of tumblr around that time so. idk...

and heres the thing-- i dont really feel disconnected from my username, its fine and i think its p cool. but also in my head i keep wanting to change it, and part of that is wanting to claim a super old username i have no bad associations with. and i think part of that is bc of all the ways i am trying to do the things i was denied through my younger years-- so i am just reliving a lot of nice things and recalling the vibes and online trend etc i had. but also like.... attitude? personality wise? i feel like im not reflecting that w my current "brand" so to speak. at the very least if i didnt change my username, i still dont feel like the current look is something i want. i think the urge on the username change is just an additional feeling to push away from what i have been under this name.

the username i keep wanting to fall back to is 'spikeinthepunch/spikedpunch' (had the short one on xboxlive and the long one on deviantart) which was a short lived username but has no negative relations to anything, and i wished i kept it for a bit longer. and its kind of an edgy username lol. but in my recent years of growing as an adult, moving out, and being my own person, i feel soooo different than how my accounts have been presenting me. i guess ive been like soft, simple, and stiff in presentation? i think i fell into this when i was thinking id keep doing art commissions etc in a "professional" way, and especially bc i was doing my CN internship around then and wanted to still look presentable for the industry when looking for jobs. and while i certainly would love to work in the creative industry potentially, i obviously dont need to keep up that Normal-er image, i never should have, but also at that age and time i didnt feel like i could be that way at all. i was far more nervous of people interpreting me badly, negatively, etc if i was more edgy or mature. i was young and not dealing with my issues and so fixated on trauma etc.

this is also lining up w my plans to rework my website too. and i think a lot of this feeling also comes along w my "mascot" who i think is lovely! but him being a "mascot" makes him.... very detached from me as a person. i havent had any sonas to relate to in almost over a year... and my mascot was never meant to be a sona, just a Guy to represent my vibe (the colors, aliens) and social media appearance. and i guess i dont like that vibe anymore. i havent even felt all too into the shift i made to Mikike just having a vague spacesuit either, i felt i was just forcing that in order to fit the simple minecraft skin format for readability. (if people were to draw my skin, making it plantigrade and less animal would be easier)

and of course an additional observation i have had in more recent times are manic episodes that make me uproot parts of my life and change a lot of stuff about my identity etc. it may not seem like that happens online but its bc i manage to hold back on changing things abt my online branding lol- but it often results in making sideblogs for whatever new fandom/media i attached to in my episode and irl changing my entire appearance to fit and much more (and promptly drop both in about a month or so- its why i have so many abandoned sideblogs). this is obviously the bigger issue bc its what makes it Very hard for me to not do this (n yes i am in a bit of an episode rn despite my medication so...). and shocker, so many of my username/url changes and failure to ever keep one long enough to form an identity is related to that as well! its a surprise i havent done it in years but it was the expectation to stay with one identity, one look, in order to be Normal and recognized in a professional way, and i dont like that.

making this post and dumping thoughts has me thinking on a solution. as i said i dont really feel detached from my username. but what i dont relate to the most now is the way i feel i have gotten stuck in presenting myself online, and as a "brand". i want to toss out my color scheme, my mascot, my outward attitude. i want to let myself actually present in a way i like and not in a way that feels "clean". when my wcrp got shut down i had to come to the idea of acceptance and letting go of things i cannot control. and the reality of what truly doesnt matter in terms of what people may think of me. that was a huge pressure left on me for YEARS thanks to 2014-16 tumblr mindset and it is so so much harder to break esp if you want to try and be a creator and build an audience. i felt like i had become aware of this, and i have, but i didnt really click the fact that i wasnt into my current online presence bc i was still living with a piece of that era.. the fear of getting popular and being 'called out' for something for years ago, that wasnt even serious or bad, feeling like i was stepping carefully everywhere even when nothing was wrong. this doesnt entirely tie to WHY i want to do all the above. its just an observation on one of the things that hold me back too. just staying the same and staying safe. i hardly ever post, and while its something i chose to do its also a 'bonus' to not giving people much things to read off of me and assume from too.

this is getting too long and i think i have my point. idk what im gonna do but im thinking a lot abt how i should take control of my online life.

#sorry this could have been a shorter post but you know me #also. i cant change my username on all my sites either :/ so #my icon has been blank for this reason btw

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