#Jack had an arc... kind of... i guess but he was very out of focus in curse vs the first white knight

[neoyi]

Just came from theaters. Thoughts (spoiler heavy) under the "Keep Reading."

I pretty much expected the narrative to be the safest, straightest Point A-to-Point B plot. Being a ninety minute film (which my bladder thanks, because I can't watch movies past the two hour mark in theaters without rushing to the restroom nowadays), it never stays in one place or dilemma for long; this film is snappy. Everybody takes things at face value amazingly quick and advance the plot with little struggle. It's kind of odd, because normally this would bother me WAY more since the emotional impact of the protagonist's personal arc should have that gravitate (this film needed maybe like, an extra ten minutes), but I think having a paper thin plot that runs entirely in speedrun mode probably saved it more than killed. It is right to the point, says what it needs to, establishes and answers, and then moves on. I think having a laser focus goal (Mario and Luigi ends up in the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach needs to save it from Bowser, they go kick his ass) means all the little scenes that we do are crucial to the overall movie instead of pointless meandering. The action-y part of the film get to linger the most, which are spectacular to see, though I would have sacrificed a few minutes of it for some introspection. I guess I shouldn't have expected much from an Illumination film, let alone Nintendo's default flagship. When you have a brand as big as Mario (he's pretty much gaming's Mickey Mouse, after all), it makes sense this movie is just... the most Okay Thing Ever. At the very least, it does mean the movie didn't get gross out humors or Mario spouting dated catchphrases, though the pop songs playing in the background DO stick out by contrast, even if it's another thing I'd expect from a mainstream western animated movie.

Probably the biggest jaw drop is not the isekai route (I'm 36, I grew up with American Nintendo lore where Mario and Luigi were originally from Brooklyn and I'm still grateful the movie paid tribute to it because damn it, I find that aspect of Mario Lore interesting, non-canonical my ass!) , but that they have... parents. Nay, a FAMILY. Mario and Luigi have always BEEN Mario and Luigi. We see their parents from the knee down and cloaked in shadows in Yoshi's Island, but that was literally a couple of screens post-credit; we never see their faces or catch their names or anything. Even the 1993 Mario movie only had Mario and Luigi - their parents were non-essentials. Imagine my shock to see they have A Mom and Dad. What the fuck? And not just parents, they have a whole extended family living under one roof (like any true Italians, of course.) I wanna know who these other folks are. Uncles? Cousins? There's a baby there. Mario and Luigi's cousin? Is the old guy their grandpa??? Help, I don't know what to do with this information. How do I take in Mario and Luigi having an actual family?

Pauline has a brief speaking role and it looks like she's in an important position. I'm guessing she's NYC's mayor. Does she know Mario in this continuity?

I see you there, Charles Martinet, voicing a character who looks like Mario, but it isn't Mario. ;D

Speaking of family, holy SHIT, this movie also clarified whether Donkey Kong was Cranky's son or grandson. It's the first! Granted, this might be true for THIS film only, but it's nice to hear someone lay out their relationship out loud!

It is absolutely to no one's surprise that the stand-out role is Jack Black's Bowser. Every scene he's in, he nails. He delivers with so much gusto and enthusiasm - this man clearly loved playing this guy. Dude gets a piano solo in the middle of the film (a love song to his beloved Peach, of course) because Christ, man, if you're gonna use Jack Black, then you gotta use every part of that buffalo!

I've already accepted that Peach is just the oddball humanoid out in the Marioverse long before canon established Mario and Luigi as Mushroom Kingdom originators, too. But the movie does something interesting and goes out of their way to explain why she's the only human in a sea of Toads. I imagine this could be potential material for the sequel. Like Mario, it's also hinted she, too is from Earth, before accidentally wandering into the Mushroom Kingdom as a baby. I have so many questions how this kid walked into a pipe located in a very obscure part of the NYC sewers (maybe her parents were very neglectful plumbers) and even more questions on her upbringing So, the Toads decided to just one take her in, raise her, train her, and then... crown her as their princess? This brings up the question on whether the Mushroom Kingdom started as a monarchy because of her or if they were filling in a vacant seat that they felt only she was worthy. It's such a weird, eccentric thing for the Toads to just DO, especially without a feasible explanation, but also, I feel like this is something these mushroom idiots would kind of do. I mean, have you seen them? They're hopeless.

I would have been fine if Mario learned all his acrobatic parkour skills in the training montage alone, but I actually love that he's always been acrobatic just from dodging Brooklyn's many, many, maaaaany obstacles. Is it silly? Yeah, it is, but ya know what, people do parkour in real life every day, so why not?

Mario and Luigi taking off their gloves to reveal their... hands, is weirdly off-putting to me. Like these are just CGi cartoon hands, but they have like nails and creases and stuff. And it sticks out so badly that all I wanted was for them to put the gloves back ON. Which is funny to me because official Mario renders do this all the time. Like look at a recent 3D model of Mario and see the visible strewn of hairs sticking out from his hat. I don't know why the hands don't work for me. Maybe I'm just so used to them wearing gloves 24/7. Kind of like Mario's nipples.

I suspected Luigi wasn't going to do much from the trailers I've seen, and that proved correct in the final film. He does get to use the super star with Mario to beat Bowser, but I feel it went a bit unearned. Look, if there's a choice between Peach getting kidnapped or Luigi, than I'd rather it be the latter. Peach here is leagues better than what she's originally stuck with, and it really was for the better. I just kind of wished Luigi had maybe a moment prior to the final fight where he, I don't know, gain some courage, and try to free himself and all the other prisoners. I mean, the film already squeezed in Donkey Kong's daddy issues for all the five minutes it had, I don't see why they couldn't do the same for Luigi. I feel then his team-up with Mario (which isn't thoroughly unjustified - they are the Mario Bros) would have felt like a gradual step forward with his character. Ahh well, maybe in the sequel. Which probably will happen. It'll be good news for Yoshi fans if it does, if the post-credit tease is anything to go by.

tl;dr: This is a very safe movie, though I expected it as much. It's like, there are all-age films designed for their target audience, but thoroughly enjoyable for older folks, too. And then there are kid's movie which are... just for kids. This movie is the latter. It's either that or designed for longtime/dedicated Mario fans, which I am also the latter.

I'm not entirely sure if I would consider it a fun movie, but it's not bad. Shallow, but not bad. I have no genuine grievance or high praises for it. But I enjoyed my time regardless and didn't feel like it was a waste. And hey, that's fine with me.

I will absolutely be getting this on bluray, are you kidding me? (Funny little ancedote: A kid sitting next to me in theaters was thoroughly disappointed with the movie. Like straight up groaning, because Bowser did not win. It put a smile on my face. You're gonna conquer the world, kid!)

[distort-opia]

Do you have any Joker recovery fic recs or any that explore his past?

Hey! Fics that focus on Joker's past are not very frequent, but I do have a couple of recs that I hold close to my heart:

+ if you can find me, i'm here by princegrantaire (Jack/Jeannie, rated T, one-shot, 3k words)

Summary: The very first time Jack’s on stage, front and centre, lit up by so many lights, he doesn’t say a single word. (A look at Jack Napier's sad little life right before ACE Chemicals intervenes.)

+ Again by Ruin (Lurkylurk) (Batjokes, rated T, one-shot, 1.5k words)

Summary: In his dreams that man keeps falling—and he keeps on failing. It has to be this way.

+ Courting Darkness by GrowingAHead (shelleyk0503) (Batjokes, two-parter, rated E, 13.2k words)

Summary: Set in the New 52 verse, “Zero Year: Secret City” (Issues #21-24). *Contains spoilers for that arc. As well as "Bright New Yesterday" (Issue #0) story in the book “The Graveyard Shift”. Before the Bat, before the fall into A.C.E chemical vat. Bruce tries to infiltrate the Red Hood Gang again undercover. He doesn’t realize that Red Hood One has a different kind of trap set for him. (… And Crane’s prototype fear gas ‘may’ had an effect slightly akin to that of an aphrodisiac in certain doses.)

These explore Joker before the fall into the acid, either in relation to Bruce or outside of it. The last one is basically Bruce and Red Hood One from Zero Year, not truly about exploring Joker's past, but it's got some great characterization and smut.

As to fics focusing on rehabilitation... I haven't read a lot, to be honest, since they aren't really my preference. There's Half Way Across by Dracze, the iconic and quintessential Batjokes rehabilitation fic, and I assume you probably already read it. Outside of that, I can point you towards two fics, although they don't much focus on Joker's past:

+ Atrophy by TimmyJayBird (Batjokes, multi-chapter, rated E, 68.6k words)

Summary: Bruce Wayne is out of options- leaving the Joker in Arkham simply ensures that the man will escape, and hit his city harder with each new visit. Out of desperation, he does the only thing he can think of- chooses to face the clown not as Batman, but simply Bruce, in an attempt to rehabilitate him into society. But the project turns even more dangerous when Bruce finds his obsession with the clown transcends his role as Batman- and when the clown returns the interest.

+ Don’t Mind if I Fall (Head Over Feet) by arrowinthesky (restfulsky5) (Batjokes, WIP, rated M, 25.7k words)

Summary: In the aftermath of great hurt, Bruce takes in a rehabilitated Joker, now known as Jack Napier, expecting the unwarranted generosity to distract him. Heal his own wounds. Ease his guilt. And it does. He just never figured on falling in love, too.

I guess my own fic, Falls the Shadow, is also exactly meant to be... Joker getting better through confronting his own past, but fair warning that it's a WIP and that it's been a while since the last update. It's not abandoned and I'm working on it! It's just that I can't promise anything as of yet, with the way my brain is being.

Anyway! Anyone who has recommendations that fit this description is also more than welcome to add to this post, and if you read these fics-- hope you enjoy, Anon. Don't forget to leave the authors some love <3

[ozymandiasdirge]

okay now that i'm officially into fishman island time for Opinions™️ on post-timeskip strawhat design

luffy!!!

actually starting off very strong. i like that it's just a natural evolution of his og design but with some extra flourishes to show that he's matured w/ the scar on display. the cardigan is very cute and i like that they went with yellow for the sash for the tie-in to his ASL color. mwah. 10/10 no notes. oda cooked.

zoro

another one that i mostly really like. zoro is the most heavily japanese-coded of the strawhats it makes sense to lean more heavily into it with the cut of his coat and keeping his haramaki given how much wano-focus the second half of one piece has. i'm not gonna lie i think his silhoutte pre-timeskip was much cleaner and for a character like zoro i think simpler works better, but also.....i can see his tits out now......there are definitely things i liked about his pre-timeskip deisgn better but i still like this one nonetheless. and also i know his fit changes later so 8/10

nami

oh boy......well i will start with the positives. i actually do like the long hair. i don't like it better than her shag/cute pig tails but i do think it looks nice and i like the waves. i also like the jeans with the big fuck off heels because they scream 2011 to me <3 the bikini top is.....look if it was just a cute hanging out look i would love it i'm from california i know plenty of people who rock that look regularly but im sorry that combined with her going from like a b-cup to an e is deeply aggravating for reasons that have been discussed by plenty of other people. let her go back to her cute cotton t-shirts or her thriller bark sweaters. 6/10

usopp

my boy is jacked now!!!! good for him!!!! another kind of mixed bag. i like the colors but the design of the overalls feels a little busy to me personally. i love his hair being grown out but i miss the goggles being on top and i feel like you need to pick one or the other with the hat, again it's a little too busy between the hat and the goggles and the earphones. but there's nothing i actively dislike here i think it just needs a little fine-tuning 7/10

sanji

i'm going to keep it real with yall until oda said something in the SBS i thought the gag was that sanji's design hadn't changed at all 😭😭😭. also im actively having to suffer through his fishman island story-arc but there really isn't much for me to comment on. his facial hair hits the line-cook vibe im deeply surprised he can grow it and the suit is still a good design choice. nothing was gained and nothing was lost. so 8/10 i guess???

chopper

i know people have strong feelings about the kawaii-ification of chopper's design but i can't hate it because it's him and i love him to much. i do think it was a huge missed opportunity not to age him up a little because it's a little silly that he looks younger now than he did in drum island but as for the actual design itself it's not bad. i miss the style of his jamiroquai hat, but i like the fact that he wears cute little shirts now. 7/10

robin

SIGHHHHHH. i miss her bangs...i miss her melanin...i miss her goth swag. look this is mainly such a hit for me because 1) i saw all of oda's sketches and literally every other design he had for robin was better than the one he ended up going with. 2) between her alabasta, water 7/enies lobby, and thriller bark fits she reigned supreme among the fashionistas her drip was unparalleled. there isn't anything in her new design that screams robin to me. like if she was wearing the tied-up shirt with some capris i can see something but i don't know if this whole beachy look was because of fishman island or what but i just.....i'm not a fan. like they even could have tied in some of the aesthetics of the rest of the revolutionaries but this feels like just straight fanservice ove character design and im really not a fan. thankfully her dressrosa fit is completely gamechanging but that's not what we're ranking. im sorry queen. 3/10

franky

franky onepiece im so sorry but.....i really don't like this. his pre-timeskip design fucked SO HARD. the elvis motif. the speedo and hawaiian shirts. it was so silly and so memorable and i miss it!!!! i know he's trying to work the timeskip into the design like i just suggested he should have done with robin but it's just....it's a lot. feel like the gag would have been funnier if franky looks mostly the same and his body can just do all the stuff it can do now but what do i know. i do like the bit of his hairstyle changing every arc that's cute. 1/10

brook

thank god we're ending on a high note it was getting dire. i love this. he looks like the coolest grandpa at the club and it's so fun. the patterned pants with the still black suit jacket are so fun and i love some fun sunglasses. literally taking his pre-timeskip design and working his character growth into it, why did he not do this for everyone. anyway 10/10

[joshuaalbert]

tbh i do think changeling jack would have been a better option like. first of all i think just actually sticking to the changeling plot, rather than the antagonists being the changelings and the borg in an alliance that i guess doesn’t not make sense but ultimately brushes aside the changeling stuff at the end probably would have been better, but i also think there’s some potentially interesting stuff in there. again with the caveat that this is kind of operating off of like...not totally changing the setup but trying to do something better with the same beginning.

like ok loose concept 20 years prior to ep 1 beverly picks up this kid while she’s on a mission in the wake of the dominion war and initially doesn’t know he’s a shapeshifter or anything, just that he’s a child who needs help. he’s on her ship for a while and she gets kind of attached to him, especially when he shows an early interest in medical stuff, but at some point she gets confronted by some subset of starfleet that’s after him, and it comes out that he’s a changeling who did something bad in an attempt to escape capture by starfleet and they’re here to take him back.

and like. she’s gotten to know him, and she feels protective of this kid and she believes he was genuinely acting out of fear and possibly reacting to mistreatment, whereas their charges seem. kind of questionable? they feel like the result of paranoia in the wake of the dominion war and she doesn’t trust the people that are going to bring him in to treat him fairly, and she’s already somewhat more disillusioned with starfleet than she used to be because she’s already lost one son to starfleet ideals and is starting to regard jack as another, so that questioning really gets kicked into overdrive here on a broader scale. she makes the choice to protect this kid that she’s gotten attached to and they escape, but they have to go on the run, and that’s why she’s been off the grid for so long. she raises him, and they do their medical thing, but eventually they run into trouble and she doesn’t know where else to turn, so she reaches out to picard and tells him not to involve starfleet (both because they’re potentially compromised but also because her trust in them is still not at an all time high)

and then also since that’s dealing with the dominion war and that story belongs to ds9 i would have loved to bring back sisko (probably like. as at least a 2-3 episode arc, one of which replaces the episode w/ro laren bc i love her and all but she deserved better and we could have made the points that were made there in other ways). like. put him face to face with picard for the first time since the ds9 pilot and have them reassess each other after this time. i don’t know exactly how i’d see that dynamic playing out but i think bringing them back together to try to negotiate a threat would be super interesting AND like. i would really love to see picard going to sisko for advice about fatherhood tbh. maybe picard has read jake’s work and is familiar with the fact that they have a very close relationship so in trying to bond with jack he realizes sisko could be a really good person to learn from, even if they’ve had personal struggles in the past (and even if they’re never like Friends now). idk feels like a way to bring sisko back in and give him some closure that would have worked thematically on multiple levels.

like idk i dont have a whole plot seeing as ive been thinking about this for. not very long. but by focusing more on the changeling plot and giving it personal relevance we can focus on questioning starfleet and the federation, and how having to question these things picard has dedicated his whole life to affects his identity, but ideally to me the conflict would be one that shows the potential for positive change.

[soul-wanderer]

06x10//Even Better Than the Real Thing - weekly recap

alrighty-o, this week’s episode has been simultaneously bad and good and exciting and boring, so let’s get to it

- the training has felt a little repetitive, given the fact that we had a similar situation when Andy and Maya were running for captain, so I felt very little excitement for that. Nevertheless, it’s easy to see that they needed a scenario where Beckett could screw up to further this plot - I just wish they had been more creative about it

- it took exactly 0.0002 seconds to figure out that Cooper was gonna die, that’s how creative the writers were with this storyline. Seriously, don’t excessively and obviously focus on one random character and give him a “heartfelt” backstory and expect us to believe he’s gonna make it out of this alive. And tbh, they did not do a very good job at evoking empathy for this character, so...bye, Cooper. Was nice to meet you.

- 19 helping the probie from 88? Is he gonna switch stations? Predictions?

- all in all, that plot was just...meh. Again, they needed it to move along with Beckett’s story, but they could at least have gotten creative about it.

- the lasagna scene was great. No, for real, it was cute, nuff said.

- I am still feeling slightly indifferent about Jack’s current storyline. Maybe it’s the writing, maybe it’s the acting, but a potted plant has a similar range of emotions at this point.

- Maya. Sweet, sweet Maya. The writers really just dropped that bathroom scene on us and expected us to be okay. I’m still cautious about this arc, but that moment between was beautiful. As a side note: It was so adorably obvious that they were both excited to have a scene together again and it was showing in their interactions. This is the kind of chemistry I am here for - impromptu tear wiping included

- Eli being a creep in Andy’s apartment. But also, him almost screwing up Travis’ interviews until he stepped back and let him do his thing. And then, for a split second, I remembered that it felt like Eli was meant to get together with Travis and it could have been beautiful, just like that small moment between them in this episode, but no. Can’t ever have anything nice on this show, I suppose.

- THEO. MY GOD, THEO. Protect that man at all costs. My god. His death glare. His anger. My goodness, his anger. It’s all so brilliant. We don’t deserve him, but man, do we need him. I don’t care if I am biased, and I’d personally like to thank Carlos Miranda for showing up week after week after week. That man can do no wrong, I said what I said.

- Travis going back to the station. I kinda loved that small moment.

- The final scene was awful. I am angry. Just...why? What’s even worse is the fact that possibly the greatest quote of the episode came from the british dude:

“A strong stance is worth more in a leader than a mild peacekeeper. You are not a mild peacekeeper. You're strong, Andy. Stronger than any person I've ever met.”

- I just wish Andy would have heard that from her family/friends/colleagues, truly.

Preview:

- Apparently Maya is already back to active duty next week - what the heck? I guess her having been suicidal and reckless and unstable af is all but forgotten now?

- Please, please put an end to Beckett’s storyline. Please. Thank you.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e7 war of the worlds (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

au!michael putting lucifer in an iron maiden-ish thing ok, why not. in front of a big jesus on a cross. is this the michael that rides up on dean's junk? i know nothing about that plotline other than it exists

CASTIEL Dean, you can't accompany me. My contact is already anxious about meeting and won't speak in the presence of a stranger. DEAN So introduce me. Then I'm not a stranger. I'll bring a six-pack. CASTIEL Dean, I swore I would protect this boy. Let me do this. DEAN Don't do anything stupid.

don't be rude, dean. but also, cas doesn't have the best track record. but tentatively seems like they're making him less prone to really bad decisions?

DEAN I guess we're stuck in idle. SAM So… What do we do? Just – just sit around here and wait? DEAN Well, we could work a case.

dunno why this strikes me as so like. unnecessarily heavy handed? oh no we can't do anything about the major plot arc, whatever will we do. i know, let's work a case to pass the time. i think this is a sign that i'm losing patience with the show :p there's only so many ways you can rearrange the parts before you start repeating things/the parts become very visible

LUCIFER Hey, you try interdimensional travel sometime, pal. Definitely no frills. And just to be clear, I never claimed to be God. Or a god, okay? Where I come from, God is a paradox. He's everywhere, in your mind. In reality, he's nowhere. He left. I, on the other hand, am the real deal. I am everything humanity thinks I am and worse. That's who you're dealing with, pal. But, hey, congratulations to you for being king of the hill of this dead rock.

nice little speech where he's not over completely over the top. i like him over the top, but it's nice to see this too.

was curious what osric was gonna be doing in this episode. handy i guess having this au, can bring in whoever. and he gets to play a very different kevin who gets to make a nexus

lucifer too, has to get back to the nexus. and back on earth without powers so we can have our quirky music comedy moment

eyes glazing over with this mr ketchup in a beard and rowena thing. two supposed to be dead people. evil twin but for real omglol. bleh

started laughing out loud at this shot, wtf is going on. it's so odd it looks like they pasted two shots together so they could both artificially be in focus together. gives me... tarantino???? vibes?? something. it's familiar. anyway. directed by richard speight jr apparently, gettin creative 🤪

this is so strange, man. it feels like it's gotta be a reference because it's so out of left field

sam where are you looking (ok i cranked up my brightness and i see he's looking at him now, but the way his head is angled and the shadow on his eyes makes it look like he's looking offcenter). why are y'all sitting like this. wtf.

just sayin. script directions definitely more what i'd expect

and offbrand mr ketchup looks like matthew rhys a little bit with the fluffy hair and beard like he's in a disguise in the americans

DUMAH Castiel, the angels… Our numbers were greatly diminished after the fall. No one's made new angels since the dawn of creation. We're going extinct. You would need a powerful force to make more of us. CASTIEL You mean Jack. Even if he had that power, what makes you think he'd cooperate? DUMAH He may not have a choice. CASTIEL So you're planning to enslave him for some kind of experiment?

i did not have trying to enslave jack as an angelic broodmare on my bingo card.

i like the new fit, lucifer. find it kind of weird though how he has now changed outfits a couple times past the original one and yet he still keeps the vessel's wedding ring on

LUCIFER Yeah, I'm clearly not myself. But, oh, cowboy, I'm not that weak. And you and I need to talk. CASTIEL I have no interest in talking to you. And if this is about your son– LUCIFER Okay, I get it, I get it. Custody of my son is a non-starter. But if you can please just shelve the eternal enemies thing for a second, we have a situation. And by “we,” I mean everything alive. We're sorta… all gonna die.

feels like sliding lucifer into a crowley-like role

i don't hate it. i'd rather have crowley be crowley and lucifer be lucifer though. it was a good scene, they play well off each other and they're letting cas be snarky and reasonable this week

SAM You get a name? DEAN Nope. But... from his description? Evil Colonel Sanders. Asmodeus.

(wiki)

Colonel Sanders was an Southern American business man, famous for creating Kentucky Fried Chicken. The name "Evil Colonel Sanders" was attributed to Asmodeus by the Supernatural fandom soon after his debut, due to his southern drawl and white suit.

well it's cute when i find out i was also picking up what they were putting down same as everyone else (my desc: the white suit and the thick accent and the speechifying, it’s giving confederate general slash colonel sanders vibes. the foghorn leghorn knives out treatment)

oh no surprise it is namebrand mr ketchup after all 🙄

KETCH She was captured by the British Men of Letters some years back. I discovered she'd sewn a powerful charm into her body that could bring her back should she be killed. I struck a deal wherein she did the same for me in return for allowing her to escape.

sure why not

dun dun dun mr ketchup is working for general sanders. whatever, man.

[baltears]

ok. didn't like c/rse of the white knight however i am still obsessed with sgms jarley vision

[winterscaptain]

buffer.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: takes place after constellations and before through and through. this is just a fun little piece before i continue my descent into Ouchtown, USA with the ajf 100 arc. i am really excited to include more of these early-series ‘home scenes’ with the hotchners and reader!

an ajf fic that requires no context!

words: 2.6k warnings: language

summary: happy 3rd birthday, jack! it’s a family affair, in more ways than one. 

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

“So, how do you know the Hotchners?” A handsome man, probably just a little younger than Aaron (but significantly shorter), asks, filling his plate beside you.

“I work with Hotch - Aaron - Jack’s Dad - at the DoJ.” You keep your tone neutral, polite. There’s something off about him - he’s a little overeager, a little too comfortable in the Hotchner house. 

“Ah,” he says. “A profiler.” 

With a little laugh in your voice, you ask, “Are you familiar with the field?”

“Haley’s told me a little bit, but I wouldn’t call myself an expert, no.”

“I see. Do you know Haley well?”

“Yeah, my son is in Jack’s preschool class.” There’s still something he’s not telling you, but nevertheless, he sticks his hand out and you shuffle your plate to take it. “I’m Joseph. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Joseph. Not Joe. 

What happens if you call him Joe? 

Pin that for later. 

You introduce yourself and continue to make small talk for another few minutes, noting that he’s filled a second plate - you can only assume it’s for someone else. 

Let’s keep an eye on this one...

+++

“I’m so happy you all could make it.” 

You jolt back into your body after zoning out for a couple of minutes, finding yourself alone at one of the patio tables with Haley. A smile breaks across your face. “Me too.”

She snacks on a chip, delicately covering her mouth as she asks, “Is there anything exciting you’re all working on right now?”

Since when is Haley interested in cases? 

“Kind of. I head out to Colorado with Emily and Spencer tomorrow to go visit a religious cult on a compound in the mountains.” She laughs, and you follow suit. “So, it’s the little things, I guess.” 

“Very few things have changed, then?”

You nod, a knowing smile on your face. “Exactly.” 

There’s quiet for a moment and your eyes wander across the yard out of habit, taking stock of all the preschoolers running around, their parents at the perimeter. 

“Oh!” She sits forward, pulling her knee to her chest and propping her heel on the edge of her chair. 

You look back at her expectantly. 

“Did you like the book? Catch-22 is one of Aaron’s favorites. I think I wrote that in the note, but…” She gestures vaguely. “I thought it would be helpful.” 

Smacking your hand to your forehead, you laugh a little. “Oh, it was! I completely forgot to send a thank-you note, Haley, I’m sorry.” You lean forward conspiratorially. “I loved it. It was such a thoughtful birthday present. Thank you” 

Her nose scrunches up as she smiles. It’s adorable. “Good. I’m so glad.” 

+++

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Dave sidles up to you, eating a piece of cake. 

You follow his gaze, where Haley, Joseph, and their boys are kicking a soccer ball around. Haley’s full of laughter and unnecessary touches, but that’s not a new observation. 

You’ve had Joseph-not-Joe’s number since he first spoke with you. He seemed far too interested in getting to know the people close to Haley to be without ulterior motive. 

“I’m seeing something. I’m not sure what it is, yet.” You take a sip of your drink, letting your eyes wander. 

“Not for nothing,” Dave says, “and, of course, this stays between us -” 

“Of course.” 

“- But Aaron thought Haley was seeing someone before they got divorced, in the spring before you joined the team.” 

You hum. “Interesting. Do you think this is the guy?”

This is definitely the guy. 

“Well, there’s more to their relationship than ‘our kids go to preschool together,’ don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I do.” Your eyes wander to Aaron, who’s chatting with a couple of the parents, Emily at his side. He’s distracted, also focused on Haley and Joseph with the boys on the other side of the yard. “Give me a second, would you, Dave?” You absently hand him your drink as you cross over to the small cluster. 

“Hey, Hotch,” you put a hand on his shoulder with an apologetic smile to the mom you just interrupted. “I think we have a little bit of a crisis in the kitchen. Can I steal you for a minute?”

With a grateful look only you and Emily pick up on, he says, “Sure.” With a rueful smile and wave to the other parents, he leaves Emily to her own devices. Much to her (and your) relief, JJ and Will are on their way, ready to save her from the inane conversation. 

“What’s up?” Aaron asks, his brow just a little furrowed. 

Triple checking that the house is empty, you lead him into the kitchen and lean against the counter, crossing your arms. “What’s going on with you?” 

His eyes flicker around the room before settling back on you and his jaw is tight. Somehow, he’s still trying to avoid you when you’ve made it impossible. “What do you mean?” 

You level him with a Really? look. “Tell me.” 

“Fine.” He leans back and mirrors you, crossing his arms. With only a little bit of reluctance, he shares, “This is the first big event...thing since the divorce and I -” He huffs. “I don’t know how to be a divorced parent when I’m...in front of people? I don’t know.” 

You cross the kitchen and lean against the counter beside him, the heels of your hands resting on the marble. “You’re not alone. We’re here with you and nobody expects you to be perfect.” You laugh lightly. “There are at least seven divorced couples out in your yard right now. Weirdly, it’s normal.” 

He shrugs. “I guess.” His eyes wander to the window, where Haley and Joseph are still visible with some of the other parents, seated around one of the patio tables. Joseph’s arm rests casually on the back of Haley’s chair. 

That’s it. 

“What’s going on with those two?” You pointedly match his focus and Aaron sighs. 

“Did I ever tell you I thought Haley was seeing someone before we were divorced?” 

You shake your head, only a little thrilled he’s choosing to share this with you so soon after Dave read you into the secret. 

“I think that’s the guy.” 

“I was wondering about him, myself. He seemed a little…eager,” you say with a laugh. 

Aaron rolls his eyes. “He thinks he’s subtle, but I’d also imagine it’s rough to be the mistress when the ex is an FBI profiler.” 

You snort. “True.” 

Aaron’s hand covers yours and you look down, the contact shooting a spark through your arm and down your spine. 

Isn’t that the biggest cliche on the planet? 

“Thank you,” he says. “Thank you for being here.”

You look up again, meeting his eyes. “You’re welcome.” With a smile, you add, “I’ll always be here to save you from suburban moms and your ex-wife’s boyfriends.” 

The smile you get in return warms you from your scalp to your toes. 

+++

A couple of hours have passed, and Aaron settles into his role as the birthday boy’s dad. He’s been particularly demonstrative with Jack, but it’s all genuine. He chased him around the yard, threw him over his shoulder, covered him in kisses, and just generally lavished him in all the love of which he’s bereft while away on cases. 

It’s simultaneously weird and very normal to see him with that face-splitting grin. It looks at home there, and you wish you had the pleasure of seeing it more often. 

Watching father and son together is something special. The resemblance is often uncanny, even more so now as Aaron has Jack propped on his hip, chatting away, almost nose-to-nose. You’re only aware of the soft smile on your face when Jessica, Haley’s sister, plops down beside you. 

“Those two are something else, aren’t they?” She says with a little smile. 

You nod. “Two peas in a pod, for sure.” 

You’re both quiet for a moment, watching Haley jog up to the two of them, her cheeks flushed in the autumn chill. She lays a hand on Aaron’s arm as she speaks, her other hand rising to Jack’s face to rub some frosting off his cheek. 

“How’s it been on his end? Being apart?” 

You look over at Jess. “It’s been alright. He stays even later in the office, if you can believe it -”

“Is that even possible?”

“You’d be surprised,” you laugh. “I’ve been thinking about getting him a shock collar or something so I can train him to be home by eleven.” 

She snorts. “That would be a sight, wouldn’t it?”

The two of you share a raucous bout of laughter, drawing the attention of both Aaron and Haley. Their confused looks only make you laugh harder, and pretty soon you and Jess are clutching each other for dear life. 

You don’t know her well, but you imagine you’ll jump that hurdle. You’re already halfway there. 

In fact, the original thought isn’t even that funny anymore - you’re just laughing for the sake of it. It feels good.

+++

You find yourself next to Haley as the cleanup proceedings begin. She’s got a little smile on her face, and you take a moment to admire just how lovely she is. 

Haley, you think, is a bit like the sun. She’s bright, but will burn the shit out of you if you’re not careful. 

She glances up at you, blue eyes warm in the waning October sunshine. “Thank you.”

You hold up handfuls of wrapping paper and shrug. “No problem. Happy to help.”

“No,” she laughs. “I mean thank you for looking out for Aaron.” She lowers her voice and leans in toward you. “I know he’s not always cooperative.” 

You suppress a rueful smile. “Haley, I don’t -”

She lays a hand on your arm. “I know. Just…” Her eyes wander across the yard, where Aaron’s passing (a very pregnant) JJ a glass of water. “Thank you.” 

“I wish I could say it was my pleasure but...” you pull a yikes face and it makes her laugh again. 

+++

You end up spending much of your time together as she thanks guests and people start to go home. There’s a kind of camaraderie that develops between you and it feels like you’ve known each other for years. 

Her temperament tells you a lot about Aaron. They way they must have functioned together through the years. They’re so different, complementary, but you can see how things could get heated fast between them (good or bad).

She’s surprisingly affectionate by nature, her fingers glancing over your shoulder to direct you to tasks you’ve offered to help with, pressing a kiss to her sister’s temple as she passed her on the porch, holding onto Aaron’s forearm when she’s talking to him, and most notably, embracing Joseph by his car as he leaves, lingering only a little longer than she should. 

Nevertheless, you’re almost impressed by their restraint. You haven’t caught them on anything major, and it’s been close to eight hours since he arrived. You’re sure you haven’t seen the last of Joseph-not-Joe. 

Haley wears her emotions on her face. She can’t hide a thing. It’s refreshing. 

+++

You lean on the porch railing, enjoying the crispness of the early autumn evening. Dave stands beside you for a while in silence. When he’s had his fill of your tacit company, he kisses you on the cheek and bugs out with Spencer. 

Will takes JJ home a few minutes later. There’s a little smile on your face as you watch her take his arm down the front path, leaning on him. 

They’ll do well together. 

Soon, everyone else is gone, and you’re only a little concerned you’ve overstayed your welcome. Jess tells you you’re being ridiculous as you rearrange the fridge for leftovers. 

“When has my sister ever kicked anyone out of her house while they’re still of use?”

You take a moment, fighting a smile. “Thanks, Jess.” 

“As far as I’m concerned, the BAU is part of my extended family.” She bumps your shoulder. “And family is always welcome in a Brooks house.” 

+++

Even when it’s time for you to go home, it isn’t. 

Jack almost breaks down in tears when you kneel to hug him goodbye, so you’re trapped. It’s not like you can leave him, right? Not when he holds you hostage with those big brown eyes. 

Identical to Aaron’s. 

Funny enough, you can’t deny him anything either. 

Oh, that’s enough. 

Haley catches you by the forearm as Jack runs back to his dad, who gently launches him onto the couch. “You can sneak out, if you want to go home. I’ll distract Jack.” 

You raise your eyebrows. “And leave you without your buffer? Not a chance.” 

You’re rewarded with another laugh and she lets you go, shaking her head. She can’t say you’re wrong. As much as she and Aaron can fitfully coexist on their own, it’s much more comfortable with you around. 

Haley might love him, but she doesn’t always like him. You, for some reason, make it easier to like him.

She resolves to think a little more about that, for future reference. 

About twenty minutes later, you assume your role as the buffer and land between Haley and Aaron on the couch, with Jessica on her other side. Jack’s stretched out across all of you, his head in his mom’s lap and his little arm hanging off the edge. You managed to find a movie he actually wanted to watch, but you suspect he’ll be long asleep by the time it’s over.  

Aaron’s phone buzzes and he maneuvers it out of his pocket. Being nosy, you peer over him without disturbing Jack. 

Strauss.  

He answers it, quietly. “Hotchner.”

You can feel Haley’s disappointment and residual resentment without even looking at her. 

He continues to speak in hushed tones, drawing little patterns on the back of Jack’s calves as he does so. “Ma’am, I’ll take care of that when I’m back in the office...No ma’am, I’m with my family at the moment...Yes...Thank you, ma’am...You too.” Aaron takes a second and silences his phone, stretching a little to set it on the end table. 

You’re sure the rest of you are wearing matching expressions of shock. 

“It can wait.” He shrugs like it’s nothing and turns his attention back to the screen.

Turning to look at Haley, you find her staring at Aaron with a kind of soft surprise and pride in her eyes. You feel a little like an intruder, so you drop your eyes to the back of Jack’s t-shirt under your fingertips. 

In the rapidly-approaching darkness, Haley reaches for your hand and you take it, your hands landing on Jack’s little shoulder blade. You drop your head onto Aaron’s shoulder, leaning into the casual familiarity of the moment.

It’s nice to feel like family. 

“Thank you,” he says. It’s hardly a breath, let alone speech. 

You nod once. Anytime. 

If either one of them asked, you’d keep them from tearing their heads off forever. It’s not a far reach from your everyday responsibilities, you already do it for Aaron and Derek. Trading out one temper for another is almost easy. 

Aaron looks down the line when the credits start to roll, finding Jess and Haley with their eyes closed, leaning against each other. You’ve been out for a little while, now tucked under his arm where it’s stretched across the back of the couch. One of your hands still loosely holds Haley’s while the other rests on the middle of Jack’s back. His lips twitch up into a smile as he rests his head against the back of the couch. 

Maybe it will be alright.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @whoreforhotch @pinkdiamond1016 @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild  @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

completely brainless 1am ramble

On the topic of stagnation, and the geopolitical plot vs. character-driven plot discussion people are having rn:

Maybe this is just a nostalgia-blinded bias of mine, having started with the Disc War, but...I’ve never minded the more character-based plots? Anyone who’s followed my blog for a bit knows that I love the Pet War, but I also loved the Disc War and the Final Pet War too. In those conflicts, the factions served as a backdrop rather than being the main focus, and the plot was driven by the characters and their grievances with one another.

One of my favorite smaller plots from Season Two was Fundy and Ghostbur. That had absolutely zilch to do with factions, or L’manburg, or geopolitics, but it was honestly one of the most well-acted and heart-breaking plots I’ve seen from the SMP in its entirety. 

I think that character-driven plots are places where the SMP’s really shined, at least to me personally.

Maybe that’s not everyone’s thing, but I don’t think it’s bad for the stories to be more character-driven! I think a lot more of the SMP than people realize has been like that this entire time. I think people sometimes overestimate how much the factions have actually mattered, in a sense?

Remember how the Disc War started? 

Tommy and Sapnap were a pair. Punz and Tubbo were a pair. Ponk and Alyssa were a pair. Dream logged on to stop the fighting and Tommy and Sapnap killed him, leading to Dream allying himself with Ponk and Alyssa. These weren’t faction lines dividing everyone, but personal grudges. That’s how the SMP’s entire plot started. “You and me, versus Dream,” right?

While the L’manburg War was amazing and a game-changer for the SMP storyline as a whole, I feel like the motivations, the driving forces for that war were actually a lot weaker than the recent conflicts. It was a cool bit of political roleplay, yes, but it was kind of just a war for the sake of a war, to be honest.

L’manburg was founded because some Americans got in the way of Wilbur and Tommy stealing everyone’s blaze rods. It went from a hotdog-selling business to a literal independent country because...revolution, I guess? And Dream declared war because...sometimes you just gotta kill some people sometimes, y’know...? 

It was the character-based conflicts from before that war that ended it. The discs ended the war even though they had nothing to do with the reason L’manburg seceded, because Tommy and Dream’s grudge against each other held more weight than the actual country. Who cared if L’manburg gained its independence as long as Dream gained the discs? That was a bigger win for him.

The conflicts that happened afterwards continued that trend of being character-driven rather than faction-driven. L’manburg kind of disappeared for a month as the Disc Saga continued with Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Quackity founded the Cartel and then the Pet War started up because of Sapnap.

None of these conflicts had anything to do with factions, really, and having all these little smaller stories gave a chance for people like Quackity, Fundy and Skeppy to get in on the drama more and throw their hats into the ring. 

That’s what I think is happening right now, except since there are a lot more people on the server now, they’re starting up their individual plots around the same time so that they start to overlap. 

And remember how Fundy and Tubbo started up the Dreamon Hunters plot, picked out new skins, built a new setting and everything just for that plot to never take off due to needing to prepare for the Manberg Festival? Such a cool plot idea, and it just never happened, really.

Well, now, the Badlands have been having fun creating their own Blood Vines plot, and since they aren’t very involved in what Tommy and Dream are doing, they have space to flesh out that idea and not have it be overshadowed by other things. Whether or not you, as a viewer, want to follow along with the side plot is your choice! But Bad seems to be having a lot of fun telling his own story. 

Quackity creating Mexican L’manburg and having that turn into a five-day plot that ended in war? That’s basically just the L’manburg War 2.0, and if you don’t feel like following along with the plot -- again, no need to! But Karl finally getting his chance to shine, Sapnap and George having character development with Dream, and Eret, Puffy and H getting in on some drama was honestly pretty exciting!

The thing about the SMP is that it’s not really built to be just one storyline. It’s never just been about L’manburg. 

While the Camarvan was built, Fundy and Eret were having their Prank War.

The same day Dream and Tommy fought to bargain with Skeppy, Fundy was getting into a court battle with Punz, Eret and Tubbo.

While the Election was happening, so was the Pet War.

In the middle of Pogtopia building its resistance, the Battle of the Lake happened with Tommy, Sapnap and the Badlands.

The SMP has always had storylines going on at the same time. It’s just that since most of the viewers have always focused on Tommy and Wilbur for the most part, a lot of the time those extra storylines slipped through the cracks of memory.

Now let’s get back to the geopolitics vs. character-driven thing:

This feeling of “stagnation” isn’t new! The SMP’s had periods like this, where it feels a bit slower and everyone’s a little confused about where it’s going before.

Remember that period from like, October 18th to November 6th or so where pretty much nothing happened to progress the plot? And since none of the other streamers on the SMP were doing their own plots, it was just kind of this period of...”who knows what’s happening right now?”

The thing about a politics-based plot vs. a more character-driven, million side-stories type deal is that as long as none of the country leaders were online, nothing could really happen to progress the main plot, and since the character-driven stuff wasn’t the main focus, that couldn’t drive much either.

So...yeah, you got the Tubbo Bathwater stream three days after the Festival happened. That’s just kinda how it went.

Schlatt only got on very rarely, Wilbur a bit less rarely, and Dream logging onto his own server was always more of a surprise more than a routine. Tommy and Techno were getting into hijinks, but there weren’t really any political stakes. Even though he was supposed to be exiled, Tommy just moved back into his house anyway, because who was going to stop him? The one person who cared about him staying out wasn’t there to do anything.

Yes, the Big Plot Days like the Festival and the Meeting were jaw-dropping and amazing! I loved them! Incredibly-written, incredibly-acted. 

But what about what happened between them? 

One thing I’ve enjoyed about the recent period is that it feels like a lot more streamers are keeping track of their characters and holding onto longer plot threads. It feels like more people are interacting with each other instead of doing builds by themselves. And even the main plot is progressing at this more subtle, bit-by-bit pace where there’s a bit of new development with each stream. The big event days still happen, like the New Festival and the Execution, but the pacing’s a lot more consistently spread out. And with all these other streamers keeping their own mini stories as well, it’s more of this melting pot of different people interacting, each with their own arc and tale to tell.

Ponk and Jack, for example, are keeping their ongoing rivalry. Sam, Bad and Ant are getting into their own storyline whereas before, the Badlands weren’t really doing much of anything. And Karl’s been doing the same fun side-things that he’s always done for months, but he’s recently started to try and find a niche for himself by trying these light-hearted events or his new Tales series, which could end up being really cool the more he refines it! 

I feel like a lot of the “chaos” feeling isn’t really from how the SMP’s main storyline has been written; most of the main plot has still kept to L’manburg and Techno.

It’s just that more people are taking notice of all the side hijinks that are going on in the background all the time, and some of the people who weren’t involved in the main plot before have started creating their own storylines for fun. 

I will say it again and again: you don’t have to follow along with every storyline! If it overwhelms you to try and keep up with the Blood Vines? That’s okay! You as a viewer have the freedom to create the viewing experience that makes you the most comfortable, that brings you the most joy! 

But I also think people could try and branch out a bit too. Give some new creators a try. No pressure or anything, and it’s fine if you just want to stick to Tommy or Techno! But there are a lot of talented people on the SMP, and I feel like some of these smaller stories are worth paying attention to if you’re interested!

Aaaaanyway, this is just a long, long post with some nonsense thoughts that I felt like getting out. Feel free to disagree! The SMP’s an interesting piece of media that everyone’s going to experience slightly differently. What may be my cup of tea might not be yours, and vice versa! :]

[jadelotusflower]

Roundup: August 2021

This month: Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea, Don’t Call it a Cult, The Secret Garden, Showbiz Kids, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Lucifer.

Reading Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - I’ve been meaning to read the Wide Sargasso Sea for a long, long time, but first I thought I’d revisit the source material. I find my opinion hasn’t much changed - I still love the prose, still love Jane as a character, and still find Rochester extremely unappealing. The section with Jane at school is the most engaging for me, and her early time as a governess at Thornfield, but as soon as Rochester shows up I just find him so irritating I have no idea why Jane loves him so much (other than he was the first man to ever show her a scrap of attention). I mean, I know to an extent - I've read the Takes, and part of fiction is accepting what you want for the character as a reader and what they want for themselves can be two different things, and that's not the fault of the text. I can be satisfied by the ending because Jane gets what she wants, I just can’t help but wonder about a Jane who was found by John Eyre before she went to Thornfield, or who took her inheritance and made her own way after Moor House. Byronic heroes just aren't my thing I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Wide Sargasso Sea (Jean Rhys) - The first Mrs Rochester of Jane Eyre strikes an uneasy tone to a modern reader; she does not utter a word in the novel, is depicted as animalistic and almost demonic, her story only told in a self-serving manner by Rochester, and conveniently disposed of so Jane can return to claim him. Rhys reimagines Bertha as Antoinette, a “white Creole” of Jamaica in a postcolonial take on the racial/social prejudices and hierarchy only hinted at in Eyre, where Bertha being Creole primarily an aspect of her Otherness, and in which Rochester describes himself as being desired as a husband because he was "of good race" . In Sea, although Antoinette is white (passing, perhaps), he sees her "not English or European either" and this contributes to his rejection of her (and perhaps his willingness to believe she is mad). The novel is surprisingly short - it skips over the meeting and courtship of Antoinette and Rochester (tellingly unnamed in the novel) entirely, jumping directly from her childhood/coming of age to the couple already married, and over much of Bertha's (renamed by Rochester) sad life in the attic. Still, there's a density to the writing, much is implied beyond the sparse use of words and recurring imagery - subjugation, reflection, and of course, fire - when freed slaves (Rhys changes the timeframe to after the passing of the Emancipation Act of 1833) set fire to Antoinette's family plantation, a pet parrot whose wings have been clipped by her English step-father Mason, cannot flee and falls to a fiery doom, in a grim omen of Bertha's fate. It did, however, leave me wanting more - I understand Rhys' stylistic choices and restraint, but in her effort to give voice to the voiceless, Antoinette/Bertha remains somewhat an enigma. Don’t Call it a Cult: Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM (Sarah Berman) - I continue to be disturbed but intrigued by the NXIVM case, not only because of my abhorrence of MLMs/pyramid schemes, but my bafflement as to how this thoroughly unremarkable man was able to hold sway over so many women. My mild criticism of the two documentaries on this subject was that they tended to jump around in time so you never really got a good idea of what happened when. This book provides a well researched, detailed summary of events and linear chronology of Raniere’s perverse pathology reaching all the way back to childhood, and so is both an excellent supplement to the already informed, and broad overview to those new to the case. Berman is a Vancouver-based journalist who was present at Raniere’s trial and gives insight into witness testimony, supported by her own interviews and extensive research. There's less of a focus on the sensationalised celebrity members, with greater emphasis on the lesser known victims - including the three Mexican sisters who were all abused by Raniere, one of whom was kept confined to a room for years. It's difficult reading, consolation being the

knowledge that Raniere is rotting in prison and that his crimes finally caught up with him. Watching The Secret Garden (dir. Marc Munden) - Spoilers, if one needs a spoiler warning for a 110 year old novel. One of those stories that is adapted every generation, and generally I have no problem with this, since new adaptations can often bring something new or be a different take on old material (see Little Women 2019). But a part of me can’t help feel why bother with this when the perfect 1993 version exists. There is an Attempt at something new with this film, moving the setting forward to 1947 (Mary’s parents having died during the Partition), and turning the garden from a small walled secret to a mystical, huge wonderland full of ferns and flowers and endless sun. But in doing so, the central metaphor is lost - rather than Mary discovering something abandoned and run wild, gently bringing it back to life with love and care, she merely discovers a magical place that requires no effort on her part. There’s also less of a character arc for Mary, remaining unpleasant far into the proceedings, forcing Colin to visit the garden instead of it being his true wish, and generally succeeding by imposing her will on everyone else. In many ways she’s more like Burnett's other child heroine Sarah Crewe - the film opens I’m with her telling stories to her doll including Ramayana, which is eerily reminiscent of Alfonso Cuaron's (also perfect) 1995 adaptation of A Little Princess. But I suppose a sliver of credit where it's due - Julie Walters' Mrs Medlock is less of an antagonist, with Colin Firth's Lord Craven being Mary's primary obstacle. There's also a subplot with Mary's mother's depression following the death of her sister being the reason for her neglect (and Merlin alum Rupert Young shows up briefly as Mary's father) but like shifting the time period, there just doesn't seem to be a point to it. The climax of the film involves the Manor burning down (writer Jack Thorne stealing from Rebecca too, lol), with Mary and Craven have a very calm conversation as fire and smoke surrounds them. It’s all very bizarre, but also…rather dull? Don't bother with this, just watch the 1993 film again. Showbiz Kids (dir. Alex Winter) - a really interesting documentary on the titular subject - Winter was himself a child actor on Broadway before his film career kicked off in The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted, and has been able to assemble a broad range of interview subjects - Mara Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Wil Wheaton, Jada Pinkett Smith among others - former child actors, those still in the business, and some up and comers like Disney star Cameron Boyce (who I was sad to see in the coda has passed away). We also follow two young hopefuls - Marc, attending acting classes and auditioning in pilot season, yet to book a job but his parents are invested in "his" dream, and Demi, already established on Broadway but having to start to make choices between a career and a childhood. There's no voiceover, no expert opinions in this, letting the actors speak for themselves, but there is a telling juxtaposition of Marc returning home, jobless but having fun in the pool with his friends, while Demi has to cancel the summer camp she had been so looking forward to because she has booked a new role. The film is fairly even handed, but ultimately I took away that there just seems to be more harm than not in this industry, and abuses of many kinds. It does make you wonder about the ethics of child acting, at least in the current system where the cautionary tales are plentiful. Masters of the Universe: Revelation (episodes 1-5) - Mild spoilers I guess? I was never really into He-Man as a kid, other than the Secret of the Sword movie, so most of the in jokes and references in this went over my head. I have to admit, it was actually seeing all the outrage that made me want to check this out and see what all the complaining was about. I actually…really enjoyed it?!? I’m sympathetic to the complaints of a bait and switch (creators really need to learn to say

“just wait and see”), but other than that in my view the rest seemed completely unfounded. Adam/He-Man being killed in the first episode and the impact that has on Eternia and those left behind is actually a really interesting premise. This isn’t a TLJ situation; in contrast everyone (except Evil-Lyn) is always going on about how much they miss Adam, and the whole point of the first arc is him coming back. There’s also a nice little detail of Adam in Preternia (heroes heaven) choosing to remain as he is rather than as He-Man where all his predecessors have chosen their “ultimate” forms. I love him and his Magical Girl transformation. As for Teela - female characters can’t win, it seems. If they are perfect, they’re Mary Sues, if they have flaws, they’re unlikeable. Teela is Going Through things and is on a journey, but I often feel (and it seems the case here) that people confuse a character arc with author intent. No! Just because a character says/does something it doesn't mean you're supposed to agree with them! Some of Teela's actions may be petty and her demeanor less than sweet, but people make bad choices as a response to grief, and I actually thought her anger over Adam never telling her his secret and how that manifested was a pretty interesting take. I'll be interested to see the next half of the season, and ignore the ragebait youtube commentary. One more thing - Evil-Lyn (perfectly voiced by Lena Headey) was an absolute delight. Lucifer (season 5 part 2): They’ve basically given up on the procedural side of things by now and are leaning heavily into the mythology, which works for me since the case of the week is always the least interesting part of any show. It also struck me this season that there’s gender parity in the main cast (Lucifer, Amenadiel, Dan and then Chloe, Maze, Ella, Linda) - and actually, that’s more women than men. How often does that happen?!? I can’t say I’m particularly engaged with the Lucifer/Chloe pairing, but am happy to go along with it since that’s where the whole plot revolves. The best scenes for me this season were with God’s Dysfunctional Family, even if the lead up to the finale felt rushed (I understand the need to wrap things up in case of cancellation but still). I would have liked to see more of the sibling dynamics between the angels and less romantic drama, but hey. The character death got me, as well. I didn't see it coming and I didn't realise how much I had enjoyed that character until they were gone and well...it got me. I see the last season is coming soon, I'm not exactly sure where they can go from here, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Writing I was actually quite sick this month with a throat infection, so wasn't in the best frame of mind to get anything finished like I had planned to. I'm going to hold off posting the word count this month and roll it over to September when hopefully I've actually posted things.

[battendownthewhatsit]

An Extremely Informal And Longwinded List of Black Sails Characters ordered by my Most Favorite to Least, After Watching the Series Twice, For No Reason Except It’s My Blog and I Want To 

- coming in at a Close Second to Madi, it’s every other named woman in the show ??  Max? Incredible.  Brilliant. Powerful and limited, complex and driven and deeper every time I think about her arc?? wow. Eleanor? absolute Shakespeare -level tragedy and the best blouses, amazing.  Anne? Holy Hell. Miranda? Lost too soon but still more powerful and insightful as a ghost/psychopomp than most characters on most shows when they’re alive. Full of righteous murder and I love that for her. Abigail Ash?? what a gem , deserved better family, I hope she lives to become a pirate queen. Idelle? comin’ up from left field to be an absolute force of hope and healing and defiance all in one, best stealth character arc.  The Maroon Queen? how does she rule the whole show with like ten minutes of screen time. Need a whole show about her.  Frigging. Charlotte?  an Artist. an Artist dealing with a Terrible Client and so in five minutes flat she was My character omg. Grandma Guthrie? unexpected kingmaker and I love how much of a Story she’s implied to have.  Mapleton? ...ok maybe I don’t care about Mapleton. but otherwise I can’t? pick  a favorite? my favorite is whichever of them is onscreen at the moment and extra when it’s more than one of them , which happens a lot but could never happen enough , not in forty seasons. 

- Godammit, Silver. Someone should shove him off the edge of a boat. Everyone  should shove him over the edge of a boat. But I can’t deny he’s a Perpetual Shenanigans Machine and I am always a fan of Shenanigans. Damn my weakness. 

 Vane?? I care about Charles Vane ??? How did this happen. When. What. I sobbed when he died and I’m still mad about it. 

 Billy Bones,  who amazingly did Nothing Wrong Ever until he suddenly did EVERYTHING Wrong Forever, and it made sense  and I’m upset about this too but it’s so solid and  aaaaah

 Jack Rackham, unexpectedly poignant Comedy Gold 

Teach, what a solid Dragon, what an amazing setup and payoff on a character who was only barely there

MR SCOTT , I wish he had SO much more focus, what an absolute revelation of character, absolute exemplar of planting a Character Revelation in a show , all his scenes are a thousand times richer on rewatch , the show  had to kill him bc if he’d lived he’d have solved everything 

RANDALL, CHAOS MENTOR, and rightly Judgey Food Service Worker 

Mr. Gates, F in the chat again , we only got glimpses of just how much was going on under the surface but it was eNOUGH omg I still tear up watching his speech about Billy

Captain Naft, for some reason a Genuinely Nice Guy who decided he was gonna PIrate and then was Terrible at it?? hilarious.  I’m so glad he got out . Hope he sailed away to star in a Pratchett novel. 

Tie between Featherstone and Mr de Groot (F in the chat, buddy, I hope you’re sailing on in a magical world where people respect your technical expertise and practical recommendations), champions of Just Being Good at the Job

 Julius, I’m sure he’d be top five if he’d have even thirty combined minutes of screentime but realistically I can only love him for his Potential 

likewise every person on Maroon island who never gets any focus, they All Deserved Better but didn’t get it so I can only love them Conceptually 

OH HELL, FLINT, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT FLINT , I want to move him further up the list now but the fact that I didn’t even  remember to include him  until now tells me this is probably a Fair and Accurate ranking of where he stands in my Heart? which is. Completely wild??? he’s  one of the most main of main characters?? But (a) I really truly despise the way he treats his men like disposable straws for most of the series? I mean look how much I love so much of the Walrus crew and then this guy’s going around frigging blowing their brains out and tossing them off ships and obviously We Have a Problem  and (b) I think for me he wound up suffering from overexposure-- not in the show, but in terms of seeing him around Tumblr for years before I watched the show.  I saw all his big speeches and character reveal moments screecapped and gif’d for years, in a way I almost never saw anyone else’s, and when those moments rolled around for me in the series there was always a feeling like “oh, this is where that happens. OK then” , instead of experiencing it as a new emotional revelation. Given that the scenes where he did something I hadn’t  seen gif’d to death were still really powerful for me, I think all those years of out-of-context quotes and caps are really the main thing in play here, and that’s Unfortunate and also very much a  Me Problem, but also it’s just such a visceral emotional thing that I can’t really change the reaction.  Sorry, Captain , you’re great and well-written, I was just Spoilered out of a strong emotional reaction to you. :/ 

Thomas? Thomas.....

Israel Hands

uuuuh Hornigold and Dufresne I guess? Dufresne in particular is striking to me bc I hate his Choices but the  way he winds up making them is v. sympathetic 

uuuh Eleanor’s bodyguards in S1/early S2 I guess? 

the pastor who kind of hilariously has no plot relevance to anything ever 

....

that’s it

there are no more characters in this show :) 

no there aren’t :):) 

[kitkatopinions]

The baby boy himself, Whitley!

(for the ask meme)

Whitley is so my baby, I love my child so much. I’m realizing I say ‘I’m really excited for this one’ for like every character I get for this ask game, but it’s because I’m having so much fun! These take a bit to write, but they are honestly so interesting to me, so as an fyi, if anyone does have any character they want to ask my about, but thinks they might be too late, or I might be uninterested, I’m still totally interested! It just might take me a bit to answer. :)

My top three ships for the character

Whitley/Oscar is my top ship for this in canon currently. It works best if Ozpin could somehow be separated from Oscar (which is theoretically possible I guess,) but yeah. Farm boy vs rich boy, they look cute together, their personalities could vibe, and they’re both snarky, but at heart caring and compassionate. Whitley/Mercury. I mentioned this in my Mercury ask, but I was writing a fic with @why-i-hate-rwby-now where Whitley and Mercury were thrown together and had to work together to escape their abusers, and I just kind of started shipping them while writing it. O.O Also Whitley/Penny is cute as heck and I could totally see her grounding him and also making him loosen up, while Penny thinks he’s funny and interesting.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Whitley/Blake. I don’t understand this ship, Blake just feels like more of an adult atm compared to Whitley - a literal child. (Yes, I realize I ship Whit with Merc, but A. I thought Merc was sixteen while I was writing that fanfiction and he acts kind of on the young side, while Blake has been acting ‘as an adult’ and being treated ‘as an adult’ for two seasons at least while directly talking to Whitley, and has always been more of a mature character for her age anyway.) But on top of that, Blake seems to treat Whitley like an in the way child and is kinda judgey to him, while Whitley barely seems to notice her. Whitley/Henry Marigold just feels bad. And Whitley/Yang. Again, Yang has been written as a nineteen year old demanding to be treated as an adult (though I wanna say she’s less mature than Blake) but also Yang is a hotheaded character and has been acting pushy lately, and that’s fine as a character flaw, but I feel like it just puts me off her for Whitley especially.

My biggest criticism for the character

He’s treated like he’s not a victim??? Like, his abuse and neglect and even his struggles are just... Not really gone into or acknowledged very much, Weiss acts like he has to prove himself before she can show him the slightest bit of sympathy or affection when she’s his big sister, his relationship with Jacques is glossed over and he isn’t given closure there, Willow’s neglect isn’t really acknowledged seriously, Winter seeming totally disinterested in him doesn’t feel like it even matters, Weiss is treated as blameless in her and Whitley’s problems. And the writing kind of frames Whitley as having gotten a redemption, when the worst things he did was be a bit of an asshole while in an abusive situation as like a fourteen-fifteen year old with no aura or glyphs or fighting ability. Emerald and Whitley’s volume 8 arcs should not be comparable! Emerald is a full on murderer and was still willingly working with Cinder to attack people as a nineteen year old woman, and yet she and Whitley are treated very similarly by the narrative (helping one person and then that ‘making up for’ their ‘past mistakes’ and then them just being on the good side and carrying the team’s actions until the pathways arrive and they both go to Vacuo. To be clear, I think this framing was too much for Whitley since he never even needed a redemption at all imo, and not enough for Emerald, the literal murderer of Penny who was just recently willingly helping Cinder try and murder Penny once again.) Whitley should’ve been treated as the child he is, he should’ve been treated as the victim he is.

My favorite thing about the character

His potential dynamics, but specifically with Weiss. He and Weiss both had almost the exact same upbringing, only Weiss actually had more support, but guys... The way the two of them coped had similarities, but were also very different. Weiss hid behind anger and sternness, Whitley hid behind peppiness and smiles. Weiss copied Winter, Whitley copied Jacques. Weiss was always afraid of people putting on acts around her, Whitley was constantly putting on acts as a means of survival. Each of them are plagued by jealousy, pettiness, judgmental behavior, and they both have good qualities that are similar, but they both are too prejudice against each other to see those good qualities and need to learn to understand where the other is coming from. Weiss is a fighter, but a follower, while Whitley seems to have a bit of a ‘fawn’ tendency, but plans and enacts schemes under the table (even if it doesn’t have to be, like with Nora! Whitley’s instincts were to just figure out how to help Nora and then go off and do it alone without telling any of the obviously antsy people with guns what he was doing - after he was spying on them lol.) I just love the possibilities that exist with two characters that are so similar, but so fundamentally different. Also I’d love to see him resentful of Winter and snarky and passive aggressive with her, and Winter not really getting the problem, and Weiss having to mediate between them. Idk, there are so many possibilities of amazing interactions and connections Whitley could have with the others, and he could be a really new, good viewpoint if he was allowed to flourish. And maybe became kind of a ‘guy in the chair’ more permanent part of the team. Like, I know we don’t need more character bloat, but let me dream!

A headcanon I have about them

Before Weiss lost her inheritance, Whitley was sort of tasked with learning everything but being head of the company, like he was learning the financial side of things, the technological side of things, ordering, inventory, scheduling, all about Dust and mine operations... And Whitley’s naturally academic and a fast learner, so he absorbed a lot of it. But yeah, I think Jacques was trying to train Whitley up to be a sort of always available PA of Weiss’s that could handle anything she didn’t want to do / was too busy to do, and that was something Whitley really resented too. His skillset was essentially being crafted around helping Weiss, but never learning how to actually manage the company itself and severely lacking in the social side of things, like he’d never be able to make a proper speech. Also, like pretty much everyone I think he plays piano and writes his own music compositions (which in my headcanons he subconsciously writes to include vocals only for him to then get bothered that even his music seems influenced by Weiss. XD) Also I know this is three headcanons, but if he had been trained to fight, he would’ve used duel pistols and would’ve eventually developed a ‘born out of trauma’ semblance.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I’d just allow his status as a victim to be recognized and for him to have the sympathy I feel his character deserves. I’d have him and Weiss both framed as having contributed to their bad relationship, but Weiss - as the sister four to five years older than him - would be the one who makes the first moves towards repairing it, proving she has changed enough to put aside her pettiness and be there for the brother she does truly love. I’d also get Willow away from him, or at least let Whitley be angry and distant and not have their relationship fixed over the course of an in-universe day. This is why I say there should’ve been another Atlas season, which I think is what I’d do when it boils down to it. With every plot point coming fast and then being pushed on the back burner for the next plot point, there’s no time to focus on any of it or to give the character’s sufficient growth from it. So then things like Willow having her hand glued to Whitley’s shoulder feels very ingenuine, because their ‘growth’ was so rushed. So yeah, I’d really just add an extra season and let Weiss recognize that Whitley is also an abuse victim, make her be the one to start making steps to be there for him, and let things like his relationship with his mother come slower and not be an easy fix. Also I’d have Winter acknowledge that she has a brother more regularly and have her actually care about him, even if she hasn’t shown it well at all.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Whitley has no assigned character allusion and his name doesn’t offer very many hints, since it literally just means white meadow/field snow, but it’s easy enough to assume that like Weiss and Jacques - Snow White and Jack Frost - Whitley’s character allusion has something to do with the cold. I agree with the general opinion that he’s connected to ‘the Snow Queen,’ and is likely meant to be Kai, a once kind hearted boy who gets a piece of a magic mirror in his eye that only lets him see the bad in people and gets kidnapped by the snow queen. His best friend Gerda goes on a quest to save him - encountering a land of eternal summer and a talking crow amongst other things - and temporarily forgets him due to an enchantment, but then finds him almost frozen over and saves him by crying on him and through the power of her love that literally makes people and nature bend to her will, Gerda rescues Kai and dislodges the mirror piece from his eye so that he can be cheerful again. Pretty in tune with how the writers wrote things. I don’t mind this, but if Whitley is meant to be Kai and Weiss is meant to be his Gerda, there were two missed opportunities here that could’ve been great. One, Gerda is reminded of her love for Kai whenever she sees red roses, and Ruby and Whitley have a few similar mannerisms and kind of similar coping through their ‘cheery exterior’s’ even f Ruby’s lost all her sass and Whitley’s never had her spazzy, dorky, rough around the edges traits. I think it would’ve been cute and make for a more interesting dynamic if Weiss had mentioned to Ruby in volumes 1-3 that Ruby reminds her of her brother, and if it had made Weiss both harder on Ruby (since she and Whitley are estranged and he does drive her crazy a lot lol) but it also made Ruby all the more endearing to her and is one of the reasons they could be friends fairly fast despite Weiss’s early animosity (since she loves her brother and the traits he shares with Ruby compliment hers.) The next missed opportunity I can think of is that everyone thinks Kai is dead in the Snow Queen for a bit, but Gerda doesn’t believe it and goes looking for him instead. You could easily fit this into a narrative where everyone else has given up Whitley as a lost cause, but Weiss won’t believe that and is determined to help and to get close to Whitley again, which is what I think I’d want to go with. But also, a Whitley death fake out? That could be very good and very emotional. And it’d be easy omg. Weiss could think the Hound has killed him sometime during the fight (even if just for a moment,) but also if Whitley had been the first one to fall in the void instead of going through to Vacuo O.O 

Idk if we’ll ever get his character allusion confirmed, but if it isn’t someone from the Snow Queen, I feel like the whole fandom will say “What?!” at the exact same time. XD 

[darks-ink]

Darkness - Ectoberweek 2020

Yes I wrote this one because I just really wanted to write Vlad and Danny meeting in Antonym-verse, shh. Don’t say anything.

[first part]

Rating: Gen Warnings: - Genre: Supernatural Words: 2,147 Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Sequel

[AO3] [FFN]

---

“Well,” Danny said, humming thoughtfully.

“Well,” the other person agreed, his bright red eyes absurdly visible in the dark room they were in.

Since the man didn’t seem inclined to talk, Danny didn’t bother to, either. Instead he started peering around, blinking his own vivid green eyes. Even though his retained night vision usually did him little good, he was glad to have it, now. He highly doubted ordinary humans would’ve been able to see in the pitch black they were in.

Unfortunately, the room did not include any hints as to where he was, nor why he was here.

“You’re Danny, aren’t you?” the man suddenly asked, his red eyes narrowed. “The Fenton’s adopted son?”

Danny hummed. He wasn’t sure if he was legally adopted, the human world had so much complicated paperwork, but they certainly seemed intent on counting him as their son. “Yeah,” he finally agreed, figuring he should vocalize. “But I don’t think I know you. Do I?”

The man visibly considered that, weighing options against each other. Finally he offered a hand to Danny. “Vlad.”

“Well, you already know my name, obviously.” Danny shot him a grin as he took the hand and shook it. “But I’m Danny.”

“And you’re half-ghost,” Vlad said, a strange emphasis on the ‘half-ghost’. “Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well, so are you,” Danny pointed out with a shrug. “I think that the more pressing questions are “where are we?” and “how did we get here?”, don’t you?”

Vlad hummed at that, expression somewhere between pleased and aggravated. Someone was digging for information, huh? “Yes, I suppose you’re right. You don’t know either, then?”

“Nope,” he agreed easily, taking his eyes off of Vlad to look around again. The room was empty and featureless, absolutely non-distinct in how bland it was. “But! I don’t think we’re in the Ghost Zone.”

“How can you tell?”

“Not nearly enough ectoplasm in the atmosphere.” Danny leaned over to knock on the wall. “And these are solid. Humans can go through walls in the Ghost Zone.”

“You seem to know a lot about the Ghost Zone.” Vlad’s eyes narrowed once more.

“Yeah, well.” Danny paused, reconsidered. Vlad didn’t seem like a ghost, not like him. Vlad seemed like a human. If Danny could become part human as a ghost, why couldn’t a human become part ghost? “I guess I spent a good bit of time there.”

“And your parents?” Vlad pressed, cold disinterest in his voice.

Danny snorted, dismissive. “You mean my biological parents? Dunno. Can’t remember them. That’s why the Fentons took me in, y’know? Now can we please focus on getting out of wherever this is before we continue the interrogation?”

“Yes, of course,” Vlad said, graciously. Like this was anything to be gracious about. Danny bet that if he’d been in full control of his powers he could’ve beaten the other half-ghost easy. But, alas. He was still fighting to control his core, never mind use his powers properly. He would have to settle for civilized human behavior.

“Good.” Danny turned away from Vlad, walking along the wall, one hand trailing over it. The whole thing felt solid in a uniquely human way. Definitely no ghosts involved here.

The door, when Danny reached it, was no less solid. He grabbed onto the rounded doorknob and jangled it, but there was no give. Definitely locked. “Yeah, we’re not getting out this way.”

Vlad, who still hadn’t moved, the ass, hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose we will have to use our powers to leave, then. I see no cameras of any sort, do you?”

“No,” Danny admitted, releasing the door and looking around just to be sure. “I suppose you’re right. Some intangibility and invisibility should get us out.”

“Yes, indeed.” Vlad crossed his arms, waiting for a moment before arching his brow at Danny. “Well, go on then.”

“Me?” He scoffed. “It was your idea. You go first.”

The man stared at him for a moment longer, his red eyes boring straight into Danny’s, before he sighed. “Fine, then. But only because I suspect I cannot hope to out-stubborn a teenager, let alone one raised by Jack Fenton.”

Danny quirked an eyebrow at that unexpected hostility. Sure, he’d only known Jack for a month or two, but still. He seemed like a good man.

Vlad’s transformation was similar to Danny’s own. A spark of light from the chest, from the core, forming into rings which passed over the body, and shifted it from one state to the other. Admittedly Vlad’s were bizarrely black, while still giving off light, but it didn’t really matter. Not now, at least.

No, Danny was far more interested in Vlad’s ghost form. He looked rather like a typical ghost, up to and including a thematic appearance. And what an appearance. Vlad had gone full vampire on his looks, with pale blue skin, empty red eyes, pointed ears and sharp fangs. His hair, black in ghost form, was swept up into gravity-defying points, and his clothing did not match the suit he’d been wearing at all.

Hell, the guy even wore a cape. What kinda person did that?

But… Vlad had gone and shifted to his ghost form, so Danny supposed he’d better follow suit. Mentally crossing his fingers that his powers would hold—his core was still settling back into proper stability after his accident—he called his core to the forefront of his existence. Light flashed as he, too, transformed into a ghost.

Vlad quirked an eyebrow at him, judgment heavy in the air. “A jumpsuit, boy, really? You are certainly a Fenton, aren’t you?”

“It’s Phantom, actually,” Danny correctly idly. “The jumpsuit is just a coincidence.” He lifted up from the floor, trying to judge how well his core was doing that day. “Now come on, I don’t have all day.”

“And you think I do?” Vlad scoffed, but started floating as well. “I will go first. I expect I will be more likely to recognize where we are than you.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t have to be so haughty about it. “Sure, knock yourself out.” Danny swept out an arm in a wide arc to underline the statement, throwing in a sarcastic bow as well.

The gesture clearly wasn’t lost on Vlad, but he apparently made the choice to ignore it, flying towards one of the walls and flickering invisible before he hit it. With a roll of his eyes, Danny followed, focusing his senses on the feel of Vlad’s core so he could track the man while invisible.

Outside it was… also dark, admittedly, but not as hopelessly pitch-black as inside. A glance upwards confirmed that it was a regular dark—stars barely visible due to a nearby city, and the new moon that was supposed to come that night.

Vlad was still nearby, although invisible, so Danny let himself drift over. “Well,” he said when he was close enough, keeping his voice low since they were still invisible. “I don’t think we missed much time. The moon phase is correct.”

“Hm. And what do you know of where we are?” Vlad asked, a tone of curiosity layered under the smarminess of his voice. “Or have you spent all your time looking up?”

“I thought you were going to focus on our location?” Danny shook his head, realized Vlad couldn’t see, then decided to look around anyway.

And, huh.

“Well, at least we’re not far from home,” he said, feebly.

They were on the outskirts of Amity Park.

“You aren’t, no.” Vlad huffed, a sound of displeasure. “Unlike you, however, I live in Wisconsin.”

Cool. That meant very little to Danny. He was pretty sure that it was a state in the country he was living in, but where, or how far away it was? Absolutely meaningless.

“Okay, well… If you know the Fentons you can probably stay over?” He let his invisibility drop, since the strain on his core was rather unnecessary. The people of Amity Park didn’t look up enough to care about ghosts in the sky. “And if you didn’t… Well, they probably would let you stay over anyway. They’d love to talk more about your half-ghost-ness.”

“Joy,” Vlad muttered, and he could not possibly have put more distaste in the word. “And you do not care to stay invisible, then?”

“I can’t keep it up forever, dude.” Danny shrugged, letting his legs blend away into a tail as he drifted in the direction towards home. “Besides, I know Amity Park. It’s a safe place to fly without invisibility, trust me.”

Vlad scoffed, but dropped his invisibility as well. “Very well, then. Lead on.”

Danny nodded back, then shifted into proper flight, making sure to keep his speed fairly low. As annoying as it was to have to hold back, he knew he couldn’t make full use of his powers, not while his core was still recovering from the transition. One day, hopefully, he’d get back to his prior strength.

Still, that did make him wonder. It definitely seemed like Vlad was a human who’d become half-ghost. How did that work, compared to Danny himself? How strong was Vlad? Did he need to wait for his core to mature the usual way? That almost seemed easier to Danny than what he was going through. A slow progressive growth, rather than having all these powers and not having the power to use them.

And Vlad had conveniently skipped around explaining how he knew the Fentons, too. Honestly, he was kind of giving Danny the creeps. Something about his behavior was just… off. Weird.

Or maybe that was just how slimy he was, how haughty, how superior. Yugh.

Vlad didn’t try talking to him while they were flying to FentonWorks, although he did raise a questioning eyebrow at the neon sign when they landed behind it.

“The glow of the sign will hide our light,” Danny explained with a shrug. He’d been told by Jazz that the sign was an oddity among humans, but he didn’t think it was that weird. “We can enter the house through the door up here.”

“Why not phase inside?” Vlad asked, crossing his arms. “That way no one will see us.”

“True. But it’s also rude to go inside without announcing yourself.” Danny grinned at Vlad, displaying his own sharp teeth, before releasing his core to shift back to human form. The flashing light was barely visible beyond the glow of the sign. “Coming, Vlad?”

The other half-ghost sighed, making a motion like rolling his eyes—despite the fact that they were empty in his ghost form—but transformed back into human form as well. “I would’ve thought that using ghost powers meant we were no longer following human sensibilities, but it’s your house.”

Human sensibilities? What, has no one ever told this guy the rules of lairs in the Ghost Zone? Yikes. “You do realize that it’s a thing in the Ghost Zone too, right? Not randomly wandering into people’s lairs?”

“And how would you know?” Vlad sneered back, his eyes dark for the first time since Danny had met him. “You’re what, fourteen? And clearly new to being half-ghost, too.”

“Yeah!” Danny snapped, feeling his core kick up a notch. He was so tired of this asshole. “Yeah, I’m new to being half-ghost! Because I was a full ghost before this!”

He leaned in closer to Vlad, seeing the reflection of his glowing eyes in Vlad’s. “Just because you think you’re a big deal doesn’t mean you are. You don’t know shit, Vlad.”

Satisfied that he’d gotten his point across, Danny whirled around, pulling open the door and climbing down the stairs. After a moment, he heard Vlad follow.

“You are… a ghost turned half-human?” Vlad asked, quietly. “Not the reverse?”

“Not like you, no,” Danny confirmed, opening the door to the upper floor hallway. “But the Fentons will still want to talk to you.”

“No.” Vlad stopped before crossing the door. Danny, too, stopped, turning around to face Vlad again. “No, I don’t think that that’s going to happen.”

“What?”

“I thought I had found someone like me. For that, I was willing to put up with Jack Fenton, at least for the moment. But now?” Vlad scoffed, a derisive sound. “For a poor ghostly imitation? No, certainly not. Goodbye, Phantom.”

With that, Vlad whirled around, vanishing from sight. Danny could still track his core—apparently Vlad had shifted forms almost immediately—but he was, in fact, leaving.

“Well. That just happened,” Danny muttered to himself as Vlad left the premises entirely. “Wonder what the chances are that the Fentons know more than one guy named Vlad.”

He shrugged to himself, continuing down to the living room, where his family waited. Guess he had some more mysteries to solve now.

Like that room. What the fuck was up with that?

[ifyoulovemeletmebinge]

Why do you hate Joey? And please don't spoil beyond season 2 for me.

hi! 

this is my first ever ask so this is kinda cool alrighty get ready bc this is going to be a LONG post. i’ll try my best to avoid spoilers. 

why i dislike joey potter from dawson’s creek: 

ok so I think what my growing hatred for Joey Potter mainly boils down to is just the fact that she is the type of character who has no personality, she is simply empty. when she does want something it’s because it helps her only, and she’s very selfish. this is hard to explain in the context of s2 which is where you are, but i am almost done with the last season and i feel this is where her character has turned to focus on over the course of the entire show. 

i will say, i completely respect other’s opinion of joey, mine is just that she’s not my favorite by any means in the show. i actually think she’s my least favorite. so i’ll try to explain that! 

let’s start with s1: 

- i actually enjoyed joey a lot in s1, i thought she was fun! she’s sassy and her “im beautful yet unaware of it” thing kinda worked. this aspect of her only works in the beginning though (since she’s young and that’s the entire point of being beautiful and young) and something i find aggravating about later seasons is this continued theme of unawareness that doesn’t fit with her character anymore. by that point, SHE SHOULD KNOW SHE’S HOT OKAY. 

- another s1 point is her relationship with Dawson. i was a strong shipper until ~certain future events~ happened because i liked them together. Girl Next Door is in love with Best Friend who’s oblivious to it, it’s a cute trope! i think for the first season, their focus on Joey’s suffering from just recently discovering her feelings for Dawson and trying to navigate them made for a good complex storyline for the Lead Female of the show. there was an exploration of female sentiment there that i personally haven’t seen a lot of, so i was interested. her relationship with Dawson in s1 was overall pretty good bc it set up excellent foundations character and plot wise for the show. 

- my only criticism (more like character-choice-to-eye-roll-to) for her relationship with Dawson in s1 is her treatment of Jen because of it. we all know Dawson falls for Jen super quick and that’s not his fault or Jen’s or Joey’s yet she chooses to blame Jen and antagonizes her the whole season because of it. basically, she was a bitch to Jen. now, that’s not to say that it didn’t make sense because it did, and i think it worked well since we need some Conflict here, but thinking back on it now after watching almost the whole show, her choices and behaviors towards Jen in s1 shift from a childish jealously funny thingy to outright unlikeable aspect of her character that is only built upon as the seasons continue. i would argue this is the beginning spark or preview into the Bitch she will eventually become. 

moving on to s2: i personally don’t remember much about joey from s2 bc my brain is Pacey Witter centered and he really shined during s2 so i apologize if i get something wrong, i’m outside my lane here teehee

- i feel that joey’s character in s2 starts it’s shift into Bitch Land and also Lost Land. this is where i feel they started to lose control of her, but something i find interesting about that is that the loss of control is extremely subtle up to the point where when you finally look back in retrospect, you can find those seeds being planted as early as s2. 

- let’s tackle her relationship with Dawson in s2. there’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s start with the fact that it started REALLY WELL!!! our queen was getting the boy of her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! and good for her, but ofc, because this is a tv show and they need drama for the ratings (i’m guessing :)) everything falls apart very quickly. i would also argue that the choice they made to break Dawson and Joey up in s2 was very definitive and formative for her character for the rest of the series; the seeds were planted when they broke up. 

- her reasons for breaking up with Dawson were understandable **at first** in my opinion, there wasn’t much reason at all to break up with him. yes, she needed to find herself (just like any young person does), but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t do it with Dawson. i actually thought they would do great at discovering her together, because i think Dawson is supportive and sensitive enough to help her. her excuse that she can’t do her art while dating Dawson was bullcrap. i could go on and on about why that is, but the best evidence of it is the fact that she hopped from Dawson to Jack with no hard feelings and continued with her art the same as before. her art didn’t get any better when she switched boyfriends so she really can’t use it as a scapegoat to explain breaking up with Dawson. 

- this break-up and then her romance with Jack is what really gets me about her in s2 though. i think Dawson actually commented on it: she wanted to be alone to find herself, but then she started dating Jack almost immediately after that decision. this is where Joey first starts contradicting herself. this is where she first starts her ever-running theme of not knowing what she wants from her life at any point in time. for inexplainable reasons, her character is confused and she has to lead everyone else along and confuse them with her. honestly, poor Dawson. she both Wants and Doesn’t Want things, and her inability to stick to one is annoying to watch. and it only gets worse! 

- her mistreatment of Jen continues, but what really gets me about her treatment of other characters in s2 is her relationship with Jack after he comes out. Jack has become one of my favorite characters in the show and his coming-out arc is (in my opinion) done extremely well for a gay character at that time. we don’t even have arcs like those THESE DAYS OF THE 21ST CENTURY WTFF!!!!!! it’s also a very important arc to me. i can’t cite all the evidence, but her friendship with him after he comes out is so messed up. she constantly acts like that weird Straight Girl Who Needs a Gay Best Friend. fucked up. she always apologizes and goes back on it after Jack has to snap at her multiple times, but it still makes her unlikable and inconsiderate to anyone but herself. Joey starts showing through her relationship with Jack that she only cares about herself. when she was dating him, she did it to feel good about HER art not because she really truly liked him, and when he came out, she wanted him to be a Stereotypical Gay Man for HERSELF, not because it was what Jack wanted, and he outright told her various times. she’s selfish. she doesn’t care about breaking Dawson’s heart and using Jack, she only sees her own benefit when she’s playing with these boys as if they’re not real people with feelings. this is another running theme that worsens her character throughout the seasons. 

- by the end of s2 i think her and Dawson are back together (i’m honestly not sure i was invested in Pacey <3) but then the whole thing with her dad happens and that was really interesting to me. her decision to breakup with Dawson in the s2 finale after what he did.... MADE SENSE. i was kind of sad about it, but it was right!!!!! she had to do that!!!! she went through a lot of trauma bc of it and being with Dawson would just remind her of it, it wasn’t fair to her!!!!! i thought, hmmm this is the cataclysm of their relationship here again. this would allow her to finally find herself after being lost all of s2 and then she can be with Dawson again. it was all set up to match together perfectly. s3 proved me wrong :) but that’s for another post. 

Joey is, at her core, an empty shell of a character. she starts off well and full of personality, but either bc of writing choices, or the audience reaction at the time they made this show, those aspects of her character start chipping away and she just becomes this unattainable sorcerer of men, who’s too good for any boy, but never good enough to be by herself. this is not the type of woman i personally enjoy watching, it gets tough watching her break everyone’s heart one by one just bc she “doesn’t know, isn’t sure.” it’s repetitive and makes for crappy drama effect. it’s frustrating. 

i’m sorry this is so long, i hope this makes it clear why she’s my least favorite character in Dawson’s Creek. again, i respect all opinions of her character. hey! if you love Joey Potter, then cool for you!!!! she’s just not that character for me, and looking just at s1-2, these are my reasons why. 

[hamliet]

I'm trying to get better at analyzing and predicting the trajectory of stories. Seeing as how you're often right about lots of things in SNK and BNHA, I'm curious what it was about Eren from the beginning that made you correctly predict his death? When I started the series I didn't predict that at all (I wasn't paying attention to detail as I was a kiddo when the series started), but of course it makes sense for him to die now. So what was it that made you predict it?

*gulps* I’M ACTUALLY ALMOST NEVER RIGHT for plot-specific stuff, honestly. Or worldbuilding. I like to think I’m decent at general arc predictions because I tend to focus on character/themes since those are my favorite parts of a story (like, I can predict tragedy, but not the particular kind, and I did not see Eren as the final villain until it happened--I really thought Zeke was).

So for Eren, there’s not one real moment I can point to--I started reading around Serumbowl, so I read all of that at once. I’m also, in general, a character survival pessimist. I tend to assume characters will die.

The worldbuilding itself played into this--anyone(ish) could die. Like, reading the stakes in SnK within the first few volumes, it was obviously not heading for Everyone Lives Happily Ever After--too much death along the way, and every piece of information and development gained came at an extremely high cost to the point where people wondered if it was worth it (like to keep sending the Scouts out). While I do think the cycle should be broken and will be (hence, Gabi), you can’t break the worldbuilding along the way. So I figured that to break the cycle, there would be a high cost. 

Eren specifically was clearly willing to risk death to accomplish his goals, which were also death for his enemies (I mean he died for Armin in like chapter 4 or 5), Jean kept calling him a “suicidal bastard,” and we knew how deeply he loved his loved ones and how sacrificial he could be; it’s like his defining characteristic. Eren was violent outwardly and inwardly, which is partially why I loved his character and still do--he’s very uncommon as a protagonist.

Despite him being an uncommon protagonist, I figured he was still a protagonist so like, tropes still apply. The hero who sacrifices his life to save what he believes in at the end is pretty common as a trope--think Harry Potter, Jack from Titanic, Braveheart, Buffy, Anya, Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (some of whom are brought back but still), Tony Stark in Avengers--it is one of the most common tropes in fiction across the world (probably because it’s intrinsic thematically to several major religions) and one regularly addressed in manga/anime as well (such as Kaneki Ken specifically wishing for and being denied this in Tokyo Ghoul, and Historia in SnK, which I really should’ve taken as a clue SnK might not go for that either but SnK itself isn’t entirely opposed to the heroic sacrifice as Erwin shows us sooo).

Eren really, really wanted to be a hero, and was at a low point when Historia pointed out to him he did not have to be a hero, he could just live. I guess I thought he would become a hero, and have to choose between being a hero/throwing away humanity (which is something Erwin and Armin often struggled with) and living in the end as a person, and would probably choose to be a hero a la Erwin. I was wrong lol.

Once chapter 100 rolled around, I knew he was doomed, and Mikasa, our thematic heart, confirmed it in 101 (or 102?) when she said “that’s already irredeemable.” There was no chance for happy ending (the point of tragedy is that there always is a chance, but that was the moment where Eren had closed that door because actions always have consequences in stories). I still thought this would serve as the impetus for Eren to be forced to choose a heroic sacrifice--like Erwin, again--that even if you had been a monster in some cases you can still be a hero to others (this is Reiner’s arc but without the sacrifice, hopefully). Basically, redemptive death on a massive worldwide scale for Eren, which would probably also cost him his brother, whom I thought he’d have to kill. (Keep in mind if you kill a shadow version of yourself in stories you usually die yourself, which we see with Armin and Bertolt before they were then forcibly integrated and even to an extent with Mikasa and Annie where they both took time off from development after Annie’s capture. SnK is all about tough choices where peaceful idealistic solutions are impossible, so I thought they’d make Eren make such a choice.)

And then the reveal that Eren as the villain happened and I still think that’s my favorite reveal in the series because I was shocked but also satisfied.

For Eren, you really need to talk to @linkspooky who was almost disturbingly spot on with all her predictions and was calling it long before that reveal, and also doubted Zeke was the final villain. Also tell her to do a victory lap; she’s earned it but is too humble.

[mst3kproject]

The Atomic Submarine

I’ve had this one sitting around for a while. It’s a pretty dull 1950’s White Men vs the Saucer People movie, which attempts to differentiate itself from the crowd by taking place underwater instead of in outer space.  It features Brett Halsey from The Girl in Lover’s Lane and a few moments of Jean Moorhead from The Violent Years, and has parts for Jack Mulhall and Paul Dubov from The She-Creature.

It is… the future.  The US and the USSR are friends now, and passenger submarines regularly run between the two under the polar ice!  But all is not well – the USS Sturgeon, largest of this arctic fleet, suffers a reactor meltdown somewhere just shy of the North Pole, resulting in the loss of all hands.  The Pentagon convenes some guys in suits, and decides to send another submarine, the Tiger Shark, to figure out what happened.  When the Tiger Shark encounters a mysterious electrical phenomenon, their scientists conclude that the only possible answer is creatures from outer space!

I seem to be making a tradition out of starting with the shitty science, so here’s a good one: the Flying Saucer’s source of power is stated to be magnetic – that’s why it has to return to the North Pole every time it sinks a ship, to recharge.  Except… that’s not how the magnetic field works.  In the late fifties and early sixties, the north magnetic pole was somewhere near the southern end of Bathurst Island in Nunavut (as of 2020, it’s on its way into Siberia and is actually closer to geographic north than it’s been in centuries).  Sailors would definitely know that, making this plot point kind of hilarious to anybody actually in the navy.

I mentioned Moorhead… she and Joi Lansing (who was once in a movie called Queen of Outer Space) are the only women in the entire movie.  They occur in the same scene, which seems to serve only to remind us that women exist, and have no effect on the plot whatsoever.  Once we’ve entered the submarine where most of the film is set, the cast is entirely similar-looking guys in uniforms, and there are no romantic reunions at the end.  The Atomic Submarine couldn’t even give us the requisite 50’s movie Cute Girl Scientist.  I guess they were going for realism in their story about trans-arctic Soviet passenger subs and one-eyed semi-aquatic aliens.

On to the actual movie.  The first ‘character’ we hear from is the deep-voiced 50’s narrator, who sounds exactly like the guy rhapsodizing about radar at the beginning of The Deadly Mantis, but I looked him up and Patrick Michaels has never narrated any other movie.  I guess there’s just a category of men that have 50’s Movie Narrator Voice. His job is to sound portentous as he talks about things that are either irrelevant or else stuff the movie could have showed us but chose to tell instead.  He falls silent for long stretches of movie and then pops up again, interrupting the flow of the story every time.

The special effects in The Atomic Submarine are okay – they’re nothing ground-breaking, but considerable effort seems to have gone into them.  The saucer and the submarines are obviously small models but they’re nice and the underwater photography is quite atmospheric.  I especially like the little submersible the Tiger Shark carries, the Lungfish, which was clearly designed based on ideas for such machines that were in the works at the time.  There’s a shot of the saucer breaking through the ice cap and rising into the air which looks really good until the saucer itself actually emerges, wobbling on top of a rod.  The one-eyed alien inside the saucer is nice and gooey and parts of it look like they’re made out of living sea creatures.

Like many movies on MST3K, The Atomic Submarine has some germs of good ideas in it, and like the rest of them, fails to do anything much with it.  The flying saucer – maybe we should call it a swimming saucer – is described as a living organism, possibly the same organism as its pilot.  The aliens themselves are biological engineers who will use humans as a template for altering themselves to live on Earth.  That’s pretty cool, but is ultimately not important to the plot. Besides the pilot, who seems to have been assembled by a variety of marine organisms, the inside of the saucer doesn’t look particularly organic.  If nothing else they had an opportunity for some really neat visuals here, but let it slip through their fingers.

The alien intelligence remains unseen and inscrutable for much of the movie.  This theoretically builds suspense but there’s honestly not a lot of suspense here. A plot summary makes The Atomic Submarine sound like an exciting adventure, but the impression one gets from actually watching the film is that it’s kind of a day at the office.  In a way, that’s fairly realistic – the crew of the Tiger Shark aren’t a ragtag group of misfits, they’re professionals doing their jobs which just so happen on this particular day to include saving the world.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t make for a very exciting movie.  An awful lot of scenes are just suspenseful music over footage of men in uniforms frowning at things.  Rather than feeling any excitement, the audience just wants to get to the damn aliens already.

The movie’s only about half over by the time we do enter the swimming saucer to meet the one-eyed, tentacled beast within, but it feels like we’ve been here for hours.  Once the boarding party enters the craft, some things do happen but they’re still not exciting.  Three of the four men die, one by being cut in half by a sliding door and two getting melted by intense radiation – these deaths are surprisingly explicit and gruesome for a 50’s movie, but they’re drawn out far too long and don’t serve a plot purpose.  If the alien killed the men to stop them cutting the Tiger Shark free of where it rammed the vessel’s hull, that would be one thing, but it appears to do it just because.

The main characters all sort of look the same, as lumpy-faced white guys in old movies tend to do.  The only one who really stands out from the crowd is Dr. Nielson, the son of the scientist who invented the Lungfish and an avowed pacifist who’s only on this mission because he knows his father wanted to see the sub used.  He has a running beef with an old friend of his father’s who thinks he’s a coward, all talk and no action.  This is supposed to be the movie’s main arc and yet it fails to go anywhere on just about every level.

Neilson spends much of the movie insisting that he isn’t a coward, which one would assume is a lead-up to him doing something heroic.  It’s not. He’s just here to drive the Lungfish and that’s literally the only thing he does – he takes the boarding party to the saucer, and then sits there and waits for the sole survivor to return.  There’s a bit where the captain of the Tiger Shark decides to ram the saucer with the sub in order to get through its defenses, and Neilson speaks up, pointing out that this is a suicide mission.  Nothing ever comes of this, and it might be evidence of his ‘cowardice’ but I’m not sure… the movie is not nearly as interested in his character as it ought to be.  At the end he seems to have decided that war is cool after all… or maybe the guy he was arguing about has agreed that we need to set aside war with other humans in order to focus on war with aliens.  It’s very unclear.

If there’s a regular passenger service between Alaska and Siberia, doesn’t that suggest that in this future we’ve already set aside war with other humans?  I’m not sure this movie thought very hard about its worldbuilding.

In fact, watching the ending I don’t even know if the guy Neilson talks to at the end was the same man he was arguing with earlier, because, as I mentioned, the actors all look similar. Until that final conversation I thought the other dude had died aboard the saucer and honestly I’m still not convinced he didn’t.  What mainly makes me doubt the idea is that it would mean there’s no closure to the feud at all, which would be the height of poor writing.  I’ve seen movies where I would buy that they were just that careless, but other aspects of The Atomic Submarine are competent enough that I want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

So what does this movie want us to think about war and the military?  It certainly suggests that they’re necessary, since after all we have aliens to defend ourselves from.  One of the scientists on board is British and another has what I think is supposed to be a Russian accent, so perhaps its extolling the virtues of international cooperation.  This would fit with Neilson’s statements about how we need to leave war behind, but if that’s the movie’s point it hobbles itself by never talking about it in that light.

This is all made that much more annoying because, as I said, the effects are decent, the cinematography is pretty good, and while none of the actors are stellar they all do their best.  There’s no real reason why The Atomic Submarine had to be so dull and messy, unless they were just saddled with a half-assed script. Even then, they made a pretty good effort to get some gold out of the dross.  You might find The Atomic Submarine worth watching even if only to think about what might have been.