btw i think there should be more fics where jeff is described as a BIG dude..... ..
(not quite as big as he appears here obviously,,the character hes strangling is falling to their knees or something idk)
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i know johnny's going thru a personal crisis re: his identity as a bully, and we did get to see him bully jeff at the beginning of the chapter, but i feel like his "at least defend yourself" is influenced in part by max.
in chapter 3, when trying to beat up max, johnny asks him "why you gotta play hard to beat up", which implies the kids he usually picks on don't put up a fight. they stand there and let him bully them, maybe weakly protesting but that's it. and in both pages where we can see jeff being bullied, its done and over with on the same page and he doesn't do much more to resist then put his hands up.
max, on the other hand, ducks and dodges and flips and does acrobatics to slip away at every chance. and then when he's caught he continues to struggle, rather than give in. in chapter 1, when johnny finally manages to catch him long enough to convince him to fight or pay up, max chooses to fight (and lose). in chapter 3, when johnny manages to catch him, he steals his scooter and bat and max proceeds to chase him down, jumping through a bus to do so and stealing his ruined scooter back from under his feet the moment he was able to.
when ed says that johnny goes after the less popular nerds because they "give [him] big reactions without many repercussions, and [he] crave[s] that attention plus the admiration of [his] bully friends", i believe them. but i also believe that adding max into the mixture made that option unappealing, because now he's had a taste of what it'd be like to have someone challenge him, and he craves that dynamic. he shoves jeff to the ground and says to his friends "whatta waste of good violence", but no violence was really used. jeff gave in pretty quickly, and johnny lost interest once he realized he wasn't going to get what he wanted from it
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Hi I have a desperate need for platonic soulmates stobin where she's sooo protective of Steve (and vice versa) and who he dates.
And like, her giving eddie the stink eye when he's a douche canoe (his attempt at flirting/getting over the munson doctrine).
Robin waking up in the middle of the night when steves sad and going over to comfort him. Eddie being able to help but doesn't soothe all of it and steve just needing robin. And like, steve getting out of bed with eddie when he feels robin needs him and eddie being sad but understanding and steve kissing him silly.
Steve having a locket or a watch or similar of both Robin and eddie on him 24/7. Of the fact that even though him and eddie aren't soul mates, they love eachother so fuckin intensely and desperately
And Steve's happy feelings about eddie transfer over and him and Robin being friends
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weird storytime and an abed analysis (abednalysis ?)
in s1e17, physical education, abed says that he didnt mind changing for other people because hes comfortable with who he is . a season later, in s2e19, critical film studies, he says instead that he doesnt like change . and now i realize what he really meant when he said that he didnt mind changing .
when i was younger, around 11-12, i would pretend to be other people online . more than five different separate identities in one discord server . because i wanted people to like me more . i made these alt accounts and assigned each one a personality, a different typing style, a reason for joining, a region, and a timezone . and for the most part, they were people who were nicer and just generally likeable . because im not someone who is any of those things . i am not a nice person . i dont even think im a good person . and god i am not likeable . at all .
so i played these characters . most of them only being active for short periods . i would have full back and forth conversations with these alt accounts to sell it . i had these weird insane elaborate plans . a 16 year old former drug user, lives in manitoba, somewhat parental . 13, california, liked minecraft and drawing -- completely different artstyle (and different software) too . etc .
i would let these accounts bake (make them and then not use them) so that it didnt seem suspicious with a brand new account joining the server . then i would spend a week making the account and forming a character to go with it, sometimes asking people to help me out . it was so fucking crazy . i was insane . might still be .
…yeah i probably still am .
i was such a better person on those different accounts . because i didnt know how to change on the inside, i just started over and over again . different account, new me . like i was experimenting with who i really wanted to be like . formulating the perfect person to act like when i finally decided that i wanted to become a better person .
i gave up eventually obviously . im not a tween anymore . i was a really weird tween . obviously . but i think about it a lot .
honestly i only went back to being myself because it was comfortable . i felt better being a fucking douche . and i still am a douche . im not a good person . i dont think ill ever be a "good person" . what the hell is a good person, anyways . all i know is that im fine with myself like this . even as much as i not-so-secretly hate myself, and deny it out of fear of seeming like an "edgy attention seeking loser" .
its not that abed doesnt mind change, he just doesnt mind changing the persona . he doesnt mind changing the person showing on the outside . a separate identity . but ultimately, he wouldnt ever fundamentally change as a person . because hes fine with who he is, even if other people might not like him for that . and i want to be like him . i want to be someone who is fine with who they are, even if that someone is a socially inept ass who learned tenth grade math at age ten but cant figure out when their own face is making a smile or not .
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Anyway, it's cloud nine anniversary! Happy old milf yaoi day for anyone who celebrates it.
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