#Just accept that you need to phrase things differently sometimes and be nice

[creepyscritches]

I wanna thank you for your post about being nice to customer service people as someone who works in a customer service call/text center 🫡 people who say please and thank you to us are so rare! I was so shocked, I thought Americans just didn’t use please and thank you as a cultural thing or something, it really breaks our morale when people are rude for no reason 😣 not only that but also being xenophobic and generally mean. We’re already being exploited by the companies lol we don’t need more mistreatment. Thank you and everyone who is kind ❤️

It is not a cultural thing in the SLIGHTEST to not say please/thank you. You are experiencing inexcusable rudeness and you shouldn't be expected to "get used to it"!

Almost ALL of my IT assistance comes from India and I've worked in tandem with Indian medical coders several times over the years. It's insane to think even my colleagues were griping and moaning about working with ""offshore employees" " 🙄 in my personal and professional life, these employees have been incredibly helpful and kind to me and it's just basic decency to thank them!

Just today I had to call our offshore IT for some convoluted/botched IT update, and it took 5 minutes of polite conversation + trouble shooting to correct everything. IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WEEKS ON MY OWN!! I don't understand how people are so shitty to people that actively fix their most frustrating problems. Like it's already insane to be so rude to strangers, but strangers that are bending over backwards to fix YOUR annoying problem? Go to jail 10,000 years.

I hope you have polite and courteous customers this week, anon! You deserve conversations that make you smile.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."

Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."

And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.

There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.

Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.

So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!

(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)

Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.

This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hello, oh my, damn... so english isn't my first language and i wasn't sure how to phrase it better so don't worry, i totally understand being uncomfortable and I'm sorry 😅

I did enjoy your version very much and i also think that you should definitely go for a crow reader cause that is such a cute idea!

- accidentally proposing anon

No problem! And since you're interested here's some very quick ideas I had about crow reader before I go to work today!

Alastor

Nothing phases this man anymore. Niffty literally gifted him a crown of dead roaches. So when you flutter excitedly and present him with a string of shiny can tabs, you've been collecting he accepts it graciously.

"You're quite right dear, these are incredibly colorful. Yes, very shiny are you sure you don't want to keep this? Oh! You made it for me? Well, aren't you just precious."

He makes it into a necklace or even something to decorate his horns.

Vox

Valentino likes light, you like shiny things, both of you tend to like being around screens and bright colors.

Except you don't just like screens, it's anything colorful or shiny. Actually sometimes it's not even that, its just random odds and ends that caught your attention for some reason. He gets it sometimes, textures, patterns, things like that.

But you have everything from soda can tabs to random buttons to rocks of various shapes, sizes, and colors. You have different sticks and pieces of wood you found that for some reason you then had to have. Pieces of mismatched jewelry. It's cute but it also clutters up space and he eventually designates one room for your stuff and tells you to keep it condensed. You do, and swear it's organized, but it's all just a jumbled mess to him.

He's in his lair, observing all the many different cameras, looking for some wannabe actress who owed him money, when you bounce in, barely stifling excited squaking. He sighs fondly and turns to you, knowing he's not going to be able to concentrate until he sees what you want to show him.

It's a collection of your molted feathers, the best ones, sleek and iridescent, bound together with some colorful twine you found and attached to it is a miniature glass jar filled with colorful, shiny bits of plastic, metal, and rock, and corked shut and sealed with hot glue.

It makes a nice rattle sound when he shakes it and the feathers are nice to pet and run his fingers over and..."Did you make me a fidget toy? From....random stuff you found? That's, that's actually really cute, thanks Doll."

He downplays how much he uses it, but it's literally on his key ring, so you know it goes everywhere with him and if during long meetings his staff are subjected to the consistent background noise of little shiny bits rattling around in a jar, then that's their problem.

Lucifer

As you may have noticed Lucifer also tends to collect things he has no need for. But he might need it one day! Between the two of you it does get to be a bit of a problem, so you both agree to sort through and condense your piles.

It takes days cuz you guys keep stopping to show each other cool stuff you guys have. Then, several more days just to get through his numerous rubber ducks. Eventually it's down to a single room where your collections have merged. Each item carefully chosen and presented to one another like expensive jewelry or other such luxurious things. But it's a cool rock you found, a giant bronze spring, a box full of candy wrappers with clever sayings, and a scrapbook with various brightly colored pieces of cardboard from snacks, toys, shoes, literally anything, that caught your eye.

It's anyone's guess on who adds what, but you do both have to agree on it before it's added so you don't hoard things again.

That's the end, but maybe I'll go back and add Adam and some of the other characters later. I just wanted to get my initial ideas down before work.

[clownery-and-fuckery]

Headcannons for you and this one is super personal but hey its disability pride month and I figured I'd give you a taste of my tism ok? ok don't look at me.

Tech doesn't enjoy affection. At all. Unless it's him that offers it.

^ what I mean by this is that he'll offer Omega his hand while they walk for her to hold, he'll pat Hunter's arm when he's stressed/thinking hard and he'll lean on Wrecker while he works, he'll seek out Echo after nightmares for affection. But he will never, ever accept affection that isn't initiated by himself

he'll squirm out of hugs from Wrecker/Omega, he'll twist his hands out and away from Hunter and Echo, he will shrug you off if you touch him. he will push you. the only one who won't touch him is Crosshair

Hunter and Tech have very different kinds of sensory overloads. Hunter's are fast and hit hard but only once. He needs to decompress for a few hours or so, in the dark and quiet, and will mostly sleep through things, unless he gets a migraine, then he'll just be slow and sluggish for the day.

Tech, however? His are slow building and hurt. His whole body itches from the inside, to the point of burning him, and his skin is suddenly uncomfortable on his bones, his back sweats, his eyes hurt. Everything sounds wrong, even the quiet. His clothes hurt, but so does the air against his bear skin. He often needs to walk away, rip off everything, and more often than not his stimming becomes harmful. He'll pull his hair until it rips, he'll slam his fists against his head, scratch at his skin until it bleeds, bite himself to try catch the itch he can't find. They last hours, and they're exhausting. And he cannot, CANNOT, stand being around people before, during, or after. It takes a while to get used to being around people again.

Apart of Crosshair's mutation is an addiction gene- one that ran in Jango's bloodline, that was originally altered and erased in other clones, but not in Crosshair. He stims to stop it, picking at his nails and the skin around it, his lips, chewing on toothpicks, but he can't get away from it. He smoked, drank, he has many needle tracks close to his wrist so he can pick at those, too. He can't help it. He's addicted to it.

Tech has a lot of vocal stims. So does Wrecker and Hunter, often they'll repeat each other for hours, latching onto a phrase, an accent, a sound, and copy it for hours. It can get tiring. Wrecker clicks his tongue when he's working on bombs, mimicking the ticking.

Hunter clicks his fingers while he walks in crowded spots, to match his heartbeat. It's more grounding than trying to stretch his senses

Echo has phantom pains, but his bones also click and crack constantly, they sound painful, but he really doesn't feel a thing. Wrecker, Hunter and Tech latch onto the sounds sometimes, he laughs about it

Tech has headphones that he has for his s2 outfit, to replace his helmet. They muffle the sounds just fine, and he's rarely seen without them (one time, a group asked for a holo because they had "never seen an autistic person before")

^ speaking of, many people speak down around Tech once they find out he's autistic. They don't call him "normal", they instead take on that condensing tone and speak slower and start explaining things unnecessarily to him, which Tech never knows how to respond to, because he's always taken by surprise (his go-to is to just go quiet)

Hunter goes nonverbal much more often than Tech, but it's not as noticed because Tech talks so often, the silence left once he does is always picked up on

Wrecker has chronic pain, but he never mentions it. He and Echo will often rival in terms of where they are on the pain scale, but they keep that to themselves. It's something they share that no one else really goes through. It's nice that they have that.

The yellow in Tech's goggles are very soothing, to him. They keep sensory input low, and at one point, he chose to have that comfort over his own sight, until he found a way to combine them

Hunter has the perfect balance of eye contact/no eye contact. He mastered it because he's always talking to superiors

Wrecker makes too little eye contact. He tends to wander, attention wise, and he has a lot to think about

Crosshair makes too much eye contact. He's trying to kill you with his mind. He wants you to explode. He thinks he can do it if he starts at your eyes long enough. Also, it's a trained habit.

Tech makes too much or too little eye contact. Like Crosshair, eye contact is a trained habit. However. He gets told his staring is creepy. So he's very focused on timing how long he's "allowed" to look away. He tends to not listen that way. He listens better when he's not looking.

Tech can be very thrown off by a change in routine, despite their lives. If Hunter has made a plan, and changes it without warning, there's a 70% chance Tech will botch his job because he's off kilter. He gets very overwhelmed and distressed. He has a list, he has to stick to it.

Wrecker is the same, but instead of becoming distressed, he gets angry. He doesn't understand why the plan has to change immediately, its very frustrating because often times there will be no immediate explanation

I have more, but that's a look into my experience with autism through the boys. there's a few other hcs that don't really apply to the specific autism experience but that's ok. again. don't look at me.

[bisexual-queenie]

Could you please write more BNHA Pro Heroes as Incorrect Quotes. I need a Pt.2

OMG Im so happy that someone wanted a part 2 to one of my favorite posts that I made!! Here yall go!

(Few trigger warnings before we begin: Use if swearing, and mentions of violence an alcohol. Let me know if I missed anything!)

Ships mentioned (Vaugley and outright): Erasermic, Edgejeanist, Nightmight, and Kamui x Mount Lady

—————————————————————————

Eraserhead: You have to apologize to Takeyama.

Midnight: Fine.

Midnight: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

All Might: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

Nighteye: Thank you!

All Might: I didn't say that was a good thing.

Nighteye: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

Present Mic: Do you remember that horrible roommate you had back in college?

Eraserhead: You mean you?

Mount Lady: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Kamui Woods: Wha-

Mount Lady: And then I remember that I won't be able to see you if I do.

Kamui Woods: *blushes*

———————————————————————

Best Jeanist: Sometimes I feel like dying.

Edgeshot: Good for you.

Miruko: Do I look nice?

Fat Gum: You look like you're about to set someone on fire.

Miruko: Perfect.

Present Mic: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Miruko: And you know what the worst part is?

Ryukyuu: That you're having to process your pain without vodka?

Miruko: No.

Miruko: Yeah.

Midnight: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

Eraserhead: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Present Mic: Something illegal.

Shirakumo: Accept my fate.

Tensei: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.

Eraserhead: What?

Shirakumo: That's fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Eraserhead: Hizashi, just GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Present Mic: Who's stab wound is this???? Is it OUR stab wound???? No! Stay out of it!

Hawks: I'm the proud owner of an IQ of 5 (and a half)!

Endeavor: Not for long.

Hawks: Please. It's all I have.

Present Mic: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.

Present Mic: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun. Short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Nighteye: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Present Mic: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

Gang Orca: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Edgeshot: Kuugo, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Gang Orca: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Edgeshot: Well, I mean yeah.

Gang Orca: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Best Jeanist: Wait, you just made them?

Gang Orca: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Edgeshot: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kuugo.

Present Mic: *speaking Spanish*

Eraserhead: I know, I know.

All Might: You speak Spanish?

Eraserhead: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hizashi speaks.

All Might: I would never say that Mirai is a bitch and I don’t don’t like him. That’s not true…Mirai is a bitch and I like him so much!

Edgeshot: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

*Present Mic sneezes*

Eraserhead: Hizashi, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*anyone else sneezes*

Eraserhead: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

Hawks: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.

Miruko: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

Fat Gum: Hey Sasaki?

Nighteye: Yeah?

Fat Gum: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Nighteye:

Nighteye: ...What.

Ryukyuu: So, what's it like living with Hakamada?

Edgeshot: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Ryukyuu: ...

Edgeshot: I love them so much.

Fat Gum: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

Someone interviewing the Lurkers: What are the hardest things to say?

Mount Lady: I was wrong.

Edgeshot: I need help.

Kamui Woods: Worcestershire sauce.

Eraserhead: You’re drunk.

Present Mic: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Shouta.

Endeavor: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Hawks: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Best Jeanist: I got distracted halfway through.

Edgeshot: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Hawks: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

All Might: Schrödinger's boys.

Miruko: FUCK!

Present Mic: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Nighteye: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Nighteye: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Hawks: ...

All Might: ...

Miruko: ...

Present Mic: ...

Nighteye: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

[elmaxlys]

could you look at the translation differences for "It's better to be hurt than to hurt people?" it's kind of basic, but i've always found it to be a heavy line, though imo it sounds kind of awkward and clunky in english

Good old classic!

After googling for hours I could not find a single source for that phrasing. Even when I checked the anime, the subs I got were (albeit extremely similar) not a word for word of this infamous quote that gets reposted along with extremely wrong quotes like "why should I apologize for being a monster". The dub is different as well - and the manga is another beast entirely.

For the sake of context - as it explains the phrasing - I kept the lines around it. When it comes to the manga, I took the entirety of what Mrs Kaneki says in that first page of ch61. As for the anime, I also grabbed the two lines that come before, spoken by Mrs Kaneki, as they're what comes in the middle of the two famous sentences in the manga, but right before in the anime.

Here are the different phrasings I found:

The Repost: It's better to be hurt than to hurt people. Nice people can be happy with just that.

The line in the manga:

Viz Media: Be somebody who knows pain instead of somebody who hurts others. You don't need to be rewarded if you have love and kindness in your heart, Ken. That's all kind people need to be happy.

Twisted Hel Scans: Instead of a person who hurts others, become the person who gets hurt. It is okay if you lose because of your love and kindness, Ken. A kind person only needs those things in order to be happy.

Leo Scans: Rather than a person who hurts others, become the person getting hurt. It's all right to lose out with love and warm feelings, Ken. A kind person finds happiness in just that.

Glénat: Au lieu de blesser ton prochain, essaie plutôt de comprendre sa douleur. Tu auras tout gagné si tu fais preuve d'amour et de gentillesse, Ken... même si cela semble aller contre tes intérêts. Car à elle seule, la gentillesse permet de connaître le bonheur. (Rather than harming your neighbour, try to understand their pain instead. You will have won everything if you show love and kindness, Ken... even if it seems to go against your own interests. Because kindness on its own makes you able to know happiness.)

The line in the anime:

English subs: (Mrs Kaneki) Ken, it's okay to feel loss. Nice boys like you can be happy with just that. (Ken) It's better to be hurt than hurt others. People who are nice can he happy with just that.

English dub: (Mrs Kaneki) Ken, it's okay to feel sadness from loss. As long as you remember to stay kind, you'll find joy again. (Ken) It's far better to feel pain yourself than to inflict it on others. As long as you remain kind, you will find joy again.

French subs: (Mme Kaneki) Ken, tu peux être perdant. Les gens gentils sont heureux comme ça. (Ken) Il vaut mieux être blessé que blessant. Les gens gentils sont heureux comme ça. (Ken, you can lose. Nice people are happy that way. || Being hurt is better than being hurtful. Nice people are happy that way.)

French dub: (Mme Kaneki) Ken, ce n'est pas grave de perdre. Les garçons gentils comme toi peuvent vivre avec et être heureux. (Ken) Il vaut bien mieux être le blessé que celui qui blesse. Les gens gentils l'acceptent et sont heureux comme ça. (Ken, losing is not a big deal. Nice boys like you can live with that and be happy. || It's way better to be the hurt one than the one who hurts. Nice people accept that and are happy that way.)

So as you could see, they all talk about loss, pain and their relation to happiness - but they do so in different ways. Sometimes the change is subtle, sometimes it's glaringly obvious and makes you wonder if they're translating the same text (looking at Glénat).

To hurt, or not to hurt, that is the question:

This is the main point. What drove Mrs Kaneki to overwork herself, what pushed Ken to accept abuse from her and everyone else. What if he hurts their feelings if he speaks up? Better to shut up and endure. Again. And again. Until he can't anymore (Shironeki). Until it's back (Haise). Until he can't anymore (Black Reaper). Until it's back (Kingneki). Until he can't anymore (Dragon). Until he doesn't care anymore.

The panel will be relevant in the analysis, you'll see! Because both this quote and this panel fuel my understanding of Kaneki's character journey: freeing himself from motherly teachings (all mothers)

[readmore because what the fuck did this become holy shit]

The repost, "It's better to be hurt than to hurt people.", is concise and straight to the point. This is, after all, what makes the best repostable quotes as they're easy to remember. I am unsure where this phrasing began but it's no wonder it's the one that took off and remains in the collective mind The Quote associated with Kaneki (other than made up quotes RIP). This conciseness is probably what makes it come across as clunky: no space for weaving words into something pretty. I want to say it's boring but there are the opposition between the passive and active voice and the comparative that are worth looking into.

For people who don't know anything about grammar or don't have that stuff in their language, in the active voice the subject acts the verb, while in the passive voice the subject undergoes the action of the verb. When transposing a line from active to passive, the subject of the passive is the object of the active.

Example: Donato kills children. -> active voice. Subject: Donato. Object: children. VS Children are killed by Donato. -> passive voice. Subject: the children. Donato? the agent (aka the one who actually does the action of the verb)

You get it? Now let's go back to our sheep goats:

What this sentence says is that, above the verb of "hurt", it's more advantageous to be passive in your own life. Action incurs risks beyond your direct control - but by being passive, you know exactly what's coming at any time.

The comparative is interesting too. It's better. It's a comparative of superiority. There are three forms of comparative: superiority, inferiority and equality. Here, equality wouldn't work anyway as a hierarchy is established between the action and the passivity. But what's interesting about the use of the comparative of superiority here is that it puts passivity on a pedestal, lifts it above the action. It paints it as good. And more than good, better. With a comparative of inferiority, "it's worse to hurt than being hurt", it says that both actions are bad but one is clearly under the other and therefore you should prioritize the 2nd, aka being hurt. It would acknowledge the bad parts of the passivity while saying that there are more bad parts in the other option so better choose that one. Here, it goes the other way around. Being hurt is pushed onto the reader and Kaneki, it's not a reluctant choice by deduction of what's the least bad option here.

Kaneki has no choice here. He didn't even actively choose passivity, it was pushed onto him: that's saying how passive he is.

I'm gonna jump straight at the English subs. Why? Because the phrasing is very, very similar. Probably where the quote originates. As a reminder, "It's better to be hurt than hurt others." What differences? 1) no "to" in front of hurt -> I admit I do not know enough about English grammar to comment this, but I'll still comment the effect it has aurally. 2) "others" and not "people".

Let's start with the first difference. I said I'd comment on the sounds so here goes: "to" is a word comprised of two letters, one vowel and one consonant. That consonant is "t", which is an occlusive (or plosive). An occlusive is a sudden, more or less brutal sound, that cannot be maintained. As a result, it sounds harsh. Consonants work by two: one voiced (using vocal cords), one voiceless (without using vocal cords). Voiceless consonants tend to sound harsher. Compare g and k. Compare t and d. Compare b and p. These are the plosives. K, T and P sound harsher. So let's look at the sentences. I'll put the plosives in red. Repost: It's better to be hurt than to hurt people. EN subs: It's better to be hurt than hurt others.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Removing a "to" and swapping "people" for "others" removes a brutal aspect. And see in what part of the sentence it happens? In the part about not being the one to hurt. Even the language adapts to that. Beautiful.

That overabundance of plosive in the repost probably contribute to the clunky feeling but can also be seen as alliteration to represent the hurt, like it definitely in the subs version, since they disappear when we move from the self onto others.

Speaking of which, what about "others"? The way I perceive it, "others" puts a distance between the enunciator and whom they're talking about, while "people" is just completely general. You mustn't hurt people: don't hurt anyone. You mustn't hurt others: don't hurt people who are not you. So of course, on top of going well with the softening of the sounds, it enhances the message wonderfully. It's okay to be hurt but people who aren't you better not be, you hear me? Don't retaliate.

Additionally, I can't help but think, when I seen "than to hurt people", about what Kaneki says when fighting Furuta: he'll save people, and ghouls too. In which case, people means humans - and that'd go for the repost as well. After all, Kaneki never had much trouble decimating ghouls!

Now we're moving onto... The French subs! as a reminder, "Il vaut mieux être blessé que blessant", aka "It's better to be hurt than hurting." We're starting with a complaint about the English language because hurt can both mean something and its opposite. For real this TG sentence could be "it's better to hurt than to hurt" and I hate that I love that it's a possibility. Language is amazing. Parenthesis closed, let's move on. The first part can be analyzed the same as before with the comparison. But there is more and there are subtleties that make my brain sparkle tho so let's dig!

Literally, "valoir" (conjugated here as "vaut") means being worth. We use it with the impersonal and comparative to mean basically the same thing as "it's better" but the literal translation of "it's better" is "c'est mieux". "ce" -> neutral demonstrative, "est" -> is, "mieux" -> comparative of superiority of bien (good). So why use "valoir", here? Because, unlike "c'est" which comes across as objective, "il vaut" introduces subjectivity. It is worth for the person talking.

Now onto my favorite part of that sentence: the polyptoton!! For people who don't know it's the repetition of the same word root but with a different ending/form/nature. Here? "blessé" and "blessant". They are both forms of the verb "blesser", which means "to hurt" (as in "inflict harm" and not "suffer"). Both are in the participle form: blessé is the past participle and blessant is the present participle. Used with the verbe être (be), they are verbal adjectives (basically adjectives but coming from a verb). And as verbal adjectives, the past participle expresses the action as passive while the present participle expresses the action as active. We already talked about the active and passive so it's the same thing here as before, really, but with a wonderful aural addition, the polyptoton.

Did you notice something with the French subs? There's no object to that second "hurt", blessant. Unlike with the conjugated verb blesser which takes a direct object, here, a complement would have to be introduced with "envers" (toward). There is none. The sentence ends here. So what effect does that have on our sentence? It makes it general. In general, it's worth more being hurt than hurting. No exception. No precision. It sounds like a proverb (which the polyptoton really helps btw lol).

Now that the anime subs are out of the way, let's look at... the anime dubs! French dub first because it's very similar to the subs. "Il vaut bien mieux être le blessé que celui qui blesse." So what differences? 1) the intensive adverb "bien"! 2) substantivated past participle 3) relative clause as a circumlocution of sorts.

We'll start with the intensive adverb "bien". Bien can mean a variety of things and can even be various natures. Most of the time, as an adverb, it tends to express the manner, and as such it can be translated as "well". But here, it's an intensive. It reinforces the adjective that follows it and can be translated by "far", "much" or "way" when followed by a comparative like is the case here (and as "very" when a positive, if you're curious). This sentence is strong. Not only does it use the verb valoir and its subjective lense but also it accentuates it with the intensive. We're not in the proverb category anymore, we're in the moral lessons.

Now for the next change. Remember past participle of blesser? "blessé"? Can be used as adjective and therefore becomes "verbal adjective"? Well this bad boy can also become a noun. This procedure is named substantiviation. It serves to designate a general category of people doing or undergoing the action of the verb. "le blessé" therefore means "the one who is hurt". Now why use that? See, with the definite article, we're reducing the range, we're saying there's only one. We know the conflict we're talking about, we know the kind of person we're talking about. It's no longer a state you're in at that precise moment like with the adjective: no, the noun reduces you to that specific state of being. If you are "le blessé", there's no getting out of that label. You are hurt and you forever will be because it is now your core qualificative.

This is particularly interesting when paired with what comes right after: the relative clause to designate "the one who hurts". A relative clause can be either descriptive or defining: here is clearly the second. But while it does put a label on "celui" (the one), it is not inescapable like a substantive, this is - albeit a defining one - an add on to who you are. You can stop hurting other people, but you can't stop being hurt by others.

This is interesting because "celui qui blesse" and "le blessé", both singular, one substantive, the other demonstrative pronoun, create a dichotomy, but the relative clause can make you question the legitimacy of this dichotomy.

Now, are you getting tired of the passive VS active opposition? Fear not, the English dub doesn't use that! "It's far better to feel pain yourself than to inflict it on others." Two active verbs, we love to see it!

We still find the usual comparative of superiority with the intensive "far", nothing new, so I'll be fast: comparative of superiority paints the action as positive, pushes it onto the viewer, doesn't acknowledge its negative aspects. The intensive pushes that three notches upward and basically paints it as the only viable option, pushing the sentence into the "moral lessons" category.

Okay now let's look at the novelty! "feel pain". There's nothing passive about this. Sure, it's not an "action" as we would ordinarily describe it but the voice isn't passive and that's important. You cannot "be hurt" without an outside force, that's the nature of the passive voice. Here, feelings can happen on its own. It is not necessarily something caused by outside factors, it can be sadness, it can be sickness, it can be twisting your ankle, it doesn't matter anyway: what's important is the resulting action: feeling.

Feeling is something personal, subjective. You can't physically share your feelings. Every individual will feel differently. Dumb example but I'm thinking about the "menstrual cramps simulators" where people who were used to them were like "whatever" while others were writhing on the floor in agony. This idea is reinforced with the pronoun "yourself".

Here's what's fun about "yourself": it implies that the pain you would have inflicted onto others is now inflicted on you and if you don't feel the pain yourself it gets thrown onto others, and not necessarily the people who've cause you this hurt (aka vengeance), no we're looking at the cycle of violence here.

And while "feeling" is a pretty neutral verb, "inflict" is very much not! It's not even trying to be subtle, especially paired with the comparative etc we talked about before. This is a strong sentence, every bit of itself reinforcing the others, this sentence is unshakable, I love it in its structure and the implications are lovely when it comes to characterization: if Mrs Kaneki isn't hurting, it's her sister who is - and the pain she gives Ken is her failure to feel that pain herself. It's the cog of the vicious circle expressed wonderfully in this sentence.

We're now done with the anime, which is the way most people saying that sentence experienced Tokyo Ghoul. But what about the original? By original I mean manga - and not Japanese, that I haven't learnt in the time between starting this post and writing these words.

We're starting with my favorite scan group: Twisted Hel Scans. Here is what they write: "Instead of a person who hurts others, become the person who gets hurt." Boom, we're entering something entirely new and all the manga translations follow that: "instead of/rather than" and not a comparative of superiority. Did the anime not use the line from the manga? I wonder. But this is not our topic. We're discussing the impact of each of them.

What does "instead" bring that the comparative doesn't and vice-versa? "instead" acknowledge the other option. It's redirecting. It sees the path laid in front and says "hey look at that other path over there". It's guiding but not forceful. It gives you a choice by putting the two options on the same level. No moral value put on one or the other.

It's guiding in the sense that it uses an imperative. "Instead" brings to the imperative the notion of tip or counsel, and not an order, especially when we look at the verb used. It's not a random imperative, no! It's "become". It's a stative verb, not an action. It's a change of being. You have the choice to change or not. You currently are either "a person who hurts others" or at the crossroads to decide which one you get to be.

Now here's what I love with this translation: the articles. "a person who hurts others", "the person who gets hurt". There are countless people hurting others, they are faceless, indefinite, we don't care. But there is only one person getting hurt. Implied here is the people who hurt inflict that hurt on The Person. Everyone is hurting the same person, who then becomes the victim, the recipient of everyone else's violence, like a scapegoat. Someone will have to suffer anyway: choose on what side of that suffering you want to be.

Leo Scans says almost the same thing: "Rather than a person who hurts others, become the person getting hurt." The differences are "rather than" and the gerund instead of the relative clause. As far as I could search I couldn't find any difference in meaning between the relative and participial clauses in such cases so that's that.

However, unlike THS, Leo says "rather than" and not "instead of". As I said, "instead" offers you the choice to change - "rather", on the other hand, expresses an opinion, and even more than that: a preference. Indeed, as you can see from the -er suffix, rather is originally a comparative. And what did we say about the comparative? That's right. Subjective. It doesn't behave like "better" we saw earlier, though. In fact, it does the opposite: it pushes one option down, puts it in negative light before elevating the other. Leo phrasing has contempt for the people who hurt others while THS phrasing sounds more neutral.

Are you ready for the official translations? I'm starting with Viz Media because Glénat is pretty different from all the translations until now. Viz Media's phrasing was as follow "Be somebody who knows pain instead of somebody who hurts others." Aah~ do you see it? Difference.

Starting with the first word, because that's how sentences work: "be"! Wonderful, wonderful "be"! Imperative! Stative verb! But not one that expresses a change, like "become" we saw earlier, no! no, it's the OG. It doesn't accept a previous state of being nor a state of becoming, no. This imperative is doesn't call for growth or change, it calls to be. Static, unchanging. Definite.

This time, no substantivation, no article: only indefinite pronoun + relative clause, both times. No difference of treatment grammatically between the two options. Both options are equally represented: there's no power imbalance, no change of meaning hinging on the smallest word, no. The frequency of both parts is the same. The parallel construction is gorgeous and the balance is completed with the somewhat neutral "instead of": giving a hint, maybe already placing you in the other basket and telling you to get out, but placing no preference grammatically.

Another big change is "knows pain" and not "gets hurt" and variations. This one is no passive action: on the contrary it's a call to reflection and knowledge, an invitation. Is the knowledge physical as implied in all the other phrasings we've encountered? Is it an academic kind of knowledge as Mrs Kaneki cultivates her son's love for reading? Is it a matter of empathy?

While Viz lets us ponder the meaning of that "know", Glénat is definite in its answer: "Au lieu de blesser ton prochain, essaie plutôt de comprendre sa douleur."

We immediately focus on the second part of the sentence "comprendre sa douleur" (understand [your neighbor]'s pain) because that's what we stopped on the previous one. Glénat doesn't give Mrs Kaneki the benefit of the doubt: it makes her completely reasonable. She insists on empathy. She doesn't mean "oh yeah go be bullied no problem", she says to try to understand people, what makes them the way they are, what is hurting them to cause them to act that way - and so Ken understands his mother's pain and therefore understands why she's so violent with him. This one is not a call to passivity at all. Interestingly, it doesn't actually say anything about action.

"au lieu de" is "instead" pretty much word for word, but it's paired with "plutôt" which is "rather" pretty much word for word again. So there is an insistance on the imperative.. And what does that imperative say? "be"? "become"? No. Not a stative verb this time. No passive either. We have "try". This is important as it allows failure. You can't always understand people who hurt you and that's okay but you should always try to understand what hurt them. Active and, I want to say, way more difficult than the passivity the other ones called for.

Then there's "ton prochain"... I translated as "your neighbour" as "ton prochain" is almost only ever found in religious context nowadays "aime ton prochain comme toi-même" for example and the way I keep finding that sentence in English is "love your neighbour as yourself". So Glénat's translation is loaded with religious subtext. And may I remind everyone what a religious "neighbour" is? The one who helps you in your time of need, the one that takes pity. This is no random "others" or "people" like the English translations, no this is very specific: don't hurt people who mean you well.

Glénat's translation is diametrically opposite to the others, as Glénat does: no notion of experiencing the hurt, no notion of not hurting anyone, no absolutism. Basically love your neighbour 2.0, with a added subtext that mommy is the neighbour and if she hurts you then you'd better try to understand why before you make it worse.

Glénat's translation is the one that made me add this picture of Kingneki talking to Furuta, dismissing his hurt, his reasons, to act the way he does: in that moment, Kaneki discards the motherly teachings and doesn't try to care anymore. He doesn't care to be hurt either. He doesn't care not to hurt others. He's already killed countless, what's one more. He takes priority on his "neighbor" indeed but he doesn't try to understand them and their pain either (leaving Touka on the sidelines again and again and over again for example).

This feels a tad jumbled for a conclusion but hey! this is a conclusion jumbling all 9 translations, give me a pass, will you?

[egophiliac]

Hello!! I'm in love with your artstyle (especially the way you did the signature spells??? I've been looking at them for a while adsgfdfsf, they look like movie posters tbh and that's fricking cool to me. anyway!! I'm a player on the NA server (btw, I've already seen spoilers of chap 7 due to tumblr/reddit/pinterest, so yeah it's not the most spoiled I've ever been so yea) and yeah. I'm getting through the story okay but do you have any advice for people trying to get through certain events with a more limited life schedule??? Also, what are some of the differences that you notice between the english (if you see a lot of it??) and Japanese versions of the game? sorry if this was a longer ask, i tried to be simple but i wanted to tell you that I loved your art and everything just spiraled AAAAAAH

thank you! ❤️❤️❤️ I've been surprised by how many people really like my posters -- it's kind of a weird style to do fanart in, I guess, but I'm glad other people think it's cool too! :D

(gonna answer out of order because the event stuff turned into a huge block of text, sorry!)

I've seen a few of the localizations, but I don't know a lot about the Eng version, so I can't speak too much about differences. (I do think "housewarden" has a better sound to it than "dorm leader" though...they need a fancy little word to match their fancy little outfits.) I did look up the unique magic/signature spells to see if they were able to somehow work in the glossing -- I'm not even sure how you would localize that without it being super weird, so I don't blame them, but I was a little sad anyway! :( in Japanese, they're all written as Japanese phrases with the English as ruby text, and sometimes they're given a little extra meaning. like -- this is where the episode 7 spoilers I'm tagging are) the words that Mal says are "Fae of Maleficence":

but the meaning of the Japanese is "Blessing", which is a nice little "ooooh" moment given the context of it!

there isn't always an extra meaning, sometimes it's just. super literal. but my other favorite is Jack's, where what he means is "✨howl that pierces the moonlit night✨", but what he actually yells is "UNLEASH BEAST" before turning into a giant dog. what a good boy.

as for event advice (under the cut, because this was already getting long)...

speaking as someone who is 100% F2P and therefore also tends to get kind of burnt by some of these events -- the #1 most important thing is to just...make peace with not getting everyone. :') I am a collector-type person, so it definitely gets grating when I can't have all the fancy PNGs my little packrat heart desires. generally though: never do random pulls, always be saving your keys and gems between events. (once a month you can buy a 10-set from Sam for a 50 gem discount, and logging in on a character's birthday will give you a 10-set for free, so make sure to do those!). when the event info starts coming out, pick one or two cards that you really want and work specifically towards those, focusing on grinding out the items and/or using your saved-up pulls on their specific banner. and in the end, accept that it might just not be meant to be, even if you hit the 100-pull pity SSR no I'm not still bitter over fairy gala Ortho why do you ask. if the event doesn't have any cards that you really want, take it as an opportunity to save for the next one!

hoard your star fragments (the things that restore AP) -- if you're going for a card that requires grinding event items to permanently unlock, and the item is one you get from lessons, you can use star fragments to bump your AP up to 30 at a time (10 is the limit that will restore over time, but 30 is the max you can have at once). that makes for a looong lesson loop, but I usually get about 50-60 items per 30 lessons, and I just let it run in the background while doing other stuff. (usually these items are what also unlock the event story, so I'll do a huge amount of lessons first thing and then have enough to get the whole story at once. 👍) it can get really grindy, but events go on for a while so it's not usually that bad if you space it out a bit, instead of waiting until the last minute to try and get those last 600 items (cough) (cough).

if it's one of the ones where you get the item from doing a rhythmic, you get the same amount of items no matter how well you do, even if you miss every note. so you can just...tap occasionally to restart it and get the same effect. if it's a battle one, you do have to actually win to get the item, but once you figure out the sweet spot of a team setup + highest battle level where you win every time, it becomes basically the same deal.

so...yeah, tl;dr you can get away with a lot just by setting things up to run in the background and paying just enough attention to tap through some of the menus. it does require a certain amount of time to just leave your phone while still sorta-kinda paying attention to it, so it might not work for everyone, but that's the best way I've found to get through most events!

[streaminn]

Enid hears a voice in her head sometimes.

That sounds a bit cuckoo now that she thinks about it.

But it's a voice and it tells her things.

Like that one time in third grade when her bones aches during the full moon and just as she was tempted to follow her family in the woods, she gets sharply met with the phrase

"not the right time"

So uh, that's kind of weird.

But enid has always been a follower and she listens.

Slowly as she grows, she ends up hearing other things too. Like when she was going to act that one time she saw her brother's grip slip when he wanted to climb a tree but a stinging in her mind and a loud don't! Ringing through her ears stops her.

This is supposed to happens crawls at her mind.

What do you mean!? She thinks back, tears in her eyes as her baby brother screams.

It doesn't answer back until a week later when she sees her brother ignore the habit of climbing everything, arm still caught in a sling.

There is a course in life, you just happen to be aware of it.

That makes no sense in her kid mind but rules are rules and so Enid listens because what else can she do?

Moments like these keep happening and Enid has accepted her fate.

She grows, ignoring the aching and itching under her skin every full moon. She shrugs off the murmurs of why doesnt she shift because well, it isn't the right time.

It pushes her to do something at times, like when shes in school and it does that annoying tactic of calling something out of her.

He looks handsome, it says. You should have a crush on him.

In two days of her crowing abt such fake things to a classmate, he ends up with her friend.

It's weird, this whole thing but enid listens because what else can she do.

She's been listening for most of her life, she notes. Until she first meets her roommate in Nevermore and needs to show her around.

It's been nearly a decade of this nonsense, of Enid skirting by the rules but something felt different about this one. The ringing in her head has never felt so loud when she notices how braids seems to find interest in anything but the school.

Cool cool, a runaway. First time she's ever met one and her family looked nice enough. But she doesn't know this person and she sure doesn't know their house life.

Enid mouth opens, about to recommend this rental for bikes she could take to the next town over before something stabs into her brain like a warning.

You should take her to the quad.

And well, Enid has been listening for most of her life.

Maybe it's time she just, doesn't do that, she thinks and something blares at her thoughts.

So through wincing smile, she turns to Wednesday Addams and gives a thumb towards the front door of nevermore.

"Want to blow this popsicle stand?" it was a pain to even force the words out but the interest in her roomie eyes made it worth it. Something sparked in Enid at that moment, a little defiance burning when the warbles of it screams that she shouldn't be doing this.

"what?" Wednesday asks and oh, her eyes widen a tad when she's interested in something.

That's surprisingly cute for someone so stoic.

Enid grins, "let's get out of here, I'm getting tired of the nevermore scene anyways."

[mementoboni]

[part 3/3] Kaoru no Dokugen - Chapter 0: The person I admire

"The person I had always admired was waiting for me with a beautiful face."

Notes before reading:

This chapter is from Kaoru’s first book “Dokugen" released on October 2015. It is placed after Chapter 35 (the last chapter), not part of “Ongaku to Hito” magazine. You can purchase the book 👉 here.

The title is written in Kanji as “憧人” (Akogareru Hito), which means “The person I admire”. (Actually, I’m not sure if this is how it’s pronounced 😅)

I first translated this chapter into Traditional Chinese in 2021, but later I found that there was no English version, so I decided to translate it again into English.

The translation is divided into three parts (I didn’t expect it to be so long in English…). This is the last part. 👉 part 1. & part 2.

In this part, Kaoru talks about how he was encouraged by YOSHIKI, and how he got HIDE's ring from the other Senpai.

Repost and share are welcome.🙌 This is the first time I have translated so much words into English, so please feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.☺️

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The person I had always admired was waiting for me with a beautiful face. I might have been there and met HIDE-san with a different feeling from the people around me. Why do I say that? Because it's the first time I met him. I introduced myself in my mind and thanked HIDE-san for coming to the Shibukou (渋公=渋谷公会堂) live.

Even now, I still wonder, “If he's still alive, would I be able to talk to him? Would I be able to drink with him? If he comes up with a crazy idea, would I be desperate to do it?” Something like that.

Other members of DIR also meet and build relationships with people they admire. Sometimes I imagine that if I receive a message from HIDE-san at night that he is in Fukuoka, would I just take a taxi and run to him? Well, I don't know if I could have that kind of relationship…

It is such a pity that I could not talk to HIDE-san while meeting him. But it was TOMMY-san and YOSHIKI-san who allowed me to meet HIDE-san that encouraged me.

There was a drinking party after the funeral. When TOMMY-san, who invited me to the party, introduced me to YOSHIKI-san for the first time, YOSHIKI-san looked at my face and said: "You like HIDE-chan, right?” I was surprised to hear that all of a sudden.

When we recorded with YOSHIKI-san in LA, there was a part where I really wanted to put in a guitar phrase, so I thought about the phrase in that part for days, recorded it, and handed it to YOSHIKI-san for confirmation. YOSHIKI-san: "Do you really need it here? Wouldn't it be nice to have none?" Me: "No, it's necessary! I'll think about it a little more, please listen to it after I'm done." YOSHIKI-san: "I see~ Kaoru is really the same as HIDE-chan on this point. Even if I told HIDE-chan that part is not necessary, he'll definitely add something else." He may have said it out of concern, but I was really happy about that.

From kyo-san of D'ERLANGER, I received the ring that HIDE-san was wearing. At first, I said I could not take it and declined him. "I have a lot of memories of HIDE-chan, you should have this.” kyo-san then said, so I accepted it.

"What kind of person do you think HIDE-chan is?" "He's just like how you think." I heard about HIDE-san from other people. I'm very happy even if that's all. As expected, he is really cool.

Even now as I'm writing this, I’m still nervous, painful, and I feel my heart racing several times. I wonder if I am allowed to write about that person.

There are so many things I want to say and ask. Although it's not the time to go to that world yet, if I could meet you and talk to you now, I would definitely say it first.

“Daisuki desu!”

ever free.

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part 1. & part 2. & 中文翻譯

[sweetlilbird]

Ok, if you could answer for everyone, i would love to know, what is one characteristic in a person that attracts the skeletons?

Hello! I'd love to answer! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

Just an fyi, the skeletons would love whatever traits make up your own personality! These are just some traits I think they look for in a partner.

Undertale:

Sans: For Sans, he really values trust above all else. If he can't trust you, then it's never going to work out between the two of you. Sure, it takes a while before he can really trust another person, but once he does he'll practically be a completely different person. Obviously, the same goes for you; he'd want you to have unwavering trust in him, too! Sans would still keep some secrets, of course, as that man is wound up tighter than an eight day clock.

Papyrus: Papyrus likes people who are compassionate! It's one thing to be nice to people, but to show it with their actions is completely different. Papyrus loves helping others, sometimes whether they like it or not, and he'd love for his partner to do the same! Helping at the soup kitchen, assisting an elderly person across the street, rescuing a kitten from a tree, etc.

Underfell:

Red: Red likes people who are very blunt - someone who isn't afraid to say what is on their mind. Red isn't the type of guy to beat around the bush, and he'd like it if his partner was the same way. Of course, he doesn't appreciate people who are super rude about it! Just those who don't hold back the truth when asked.

Edge: Edge likes people who are kind! Kindness is something he values a lot, especially coming from a universe where kindness is seen as a weakness. In fact, Edge thinks people who aren't afraid to be kind are incredibly strong! He hates the phrase, "it's easy to be kind" because it truly isn't, otherwise everyone would be kind. It takes a really brave person to be kind in the face of adversity.

Underswap:

Blue: For Blue, he really likes those who have a strong sense of justice! Blue wants to join the royal guard to help people - to bring down the hammer of justice on the bad guys. To see someone in need and come to their rescue, to stand up for what you believe in, those are the things he really values in a partner!

Stretch: Stretch is pretty lax when it comes to his partners, but he does like people who are spontaneous. It's the exact opposite of himself, but he can't help but want that sense of adventure with someone. Take him out on a random date, get him out of the house because he's been sitting on the couch for 3 days straight and his hoodie smells like smoke and sweat, you name it! He knows he needs to venture outside of his comfort zone, and having someone like that as a partner is just want he's looking for!

Swapfell:

Indigo: If there is one thing about Indigo that he takes pride in, it's that he's honest. He needs someone who can handle that honesty and not take it completely to heart; he may say something completely out of pocket, but not mean it in a cruel way. Indigo can't really help it, he has no filter whatsoever.

Cash: Like Stretch, he doesn't really mind what his partner is like, as long as they are accepting. His past is full of addiction, gambling and crime, and if his partner cannot see past that, then there is no future with him. You have to accept him entirely, not just who he is today.

Fellswap Red:

Black: Black is very picky when it comes to partners; he prefers someone who is very determined, though. They may seem stubborn, as most people say, but Black knows that's not completely the truth. Determined people are very driven - they know what they want and they'll do whatever it takes to get it, something he respects greatly.

Rus: Rus likes people who know the true value of fairness; all of the hardship and violence he witnessed in his own universe showed him just how unfair life can truly be, so being with someone who tries their hardest to make sure everyone gets a chance to thrive is important to him.

Fellswap Gold:

Wine: This may seem a bit strange, given Wine's personality, but he actually really likes people who are humble. Despite his lavish lifestyle and personality, having someone just being who they are without trying to be in the spotlight at all times really balances him out. It reminds him that he doesn't need to be the center of attention all the time, and he can just simply exist with this person.

Coffee: Coffee values independence in a person, as he lacks a lot of that in himself. Due to his upbringing, Coffee doesn't know a lot of basic tasks, such as laundry and general cleaning. Wine did everything for him, and while he is grateful for his brother's help...he really wishes he could have done it on his own. His partner would have to be very understanding and patient with him, helping him learn these things and not judging him in the slightest about his lack of knowledge in things people see as common sense.

Horrortale:

Bear: With Bear, he requires someone who is patient. Due to his injury, he's much slower with his speech and thought process, so it takes him a while to do certain tasks. He needs a partner who is willing to work with him and not get frustrated because he did something incorrectly or he's moving too slow.

Sugar: Sugar really likes people who are confident! Obviously not in an arrogant way, but someone who is very self assured and helps others who are insecure get their own sense of confidence. Sugar remembers when he was younger and had all the confidence in the world, but after the famine, he lost all of it. Seeing his partner being confident in themselves helps him realize that he too can be confident again.

I hope I answered this correctly! If not, feel free to clarify! And thank you for your question! (o´ω`o)ﾉ

[refried-ghost]

Head canons: Purple has a NEED to mean what he's saying. Like he is sarcastic and shit, that's a firm part of his playbook. What he can't do is misunderstandings. Like if he says something with two meaning and there was an alternative phrasing that wouldn't run into that problem he needs to use that one. It will eat him up inside it he doesn't. Unless he's actively fucking with people. Which he does. Cause he likes to watch people squirm. Like a dick. Unintentional inundados are his fucking arch nemesis. Intentional ones fun, cool 👍, alright.

Part of why he's straight forward with Zim, despite their active ruse. He's known Zim forever. He knows how he processes what he's saying. And he struggles not being blunt as a bat with him.

Actually writing this is gonna be a thing for the revisions. I know it gonna be a nightmare for my little peanut brain.

It's this thing that gnawed at him since he was brought into life. He obsessively expanded his vocab when he was young. And now just doesn't use it much.

Red had a stutter when he was little cause someone smashed all his teeth in after he said something dumb. And it really messed him up. Like really, really messed him up. How are you supposed to shine when you simply can't get the words out?

Which makes the stutter worse, which makes him feel worse, which causes a never ending cycle until he's the most invisible person in a room despite his height cause he despises attention and focus, despite it being the thing he craves the most. Dude got stealthy. And almost never spoke for a good few years.

Purple didn't like him for it. He really didn't like Purple for basically having the personality he wanted. Red was little passive aggressive bitch about it.

I'll add a couple for Skoodge too. He's the oldest out of the six. Not by much but he is. Zee's a close second, but they wouldn't know that since their groups were in different sectors of the smeetry. Zim and Tenn were the youngest. (Tenn may or may not have been stuck in her chute room for a few days because of the blackout. Without any food or water, which wouldn't have been a problem if she wasn't a smeet.)

He's gotta believe in something ya know or maybe a someone. He a loyal puppy seeking love and attention and will brutally maul anyone sneaking in the windows without a second thought. Or realize that guy you had him maul was the one guy that gave him pets on the way to work everyday after he's thrown out on the streets. Then there are second thoughts.

No point in questioning you actions until you get some consequences.

He's also crushed on basically everyone at one point. Literally just be nice to him and he's taken. Flummoxed. Flustered. And that's why Zim uses him as bait. To both discourage those thoughts and cause he's easy to use. Not that Zim's nice to him, but Zim's kinda soft spot for Skoodge. (which a few people clock and either try to force distance between them or- I've said too much) Not necessary crushwise(but sometimes) but he feels sorta responsible for Zim.

Zim headcanon: Zim is aroace, but doesn't know that really and has been dragged into some stuff he doesn't know how to feel about cause the attention and praise, but also gross stop yuck with all these feelings and stuff, but praise! The aro part is the thing that gets really snagged. He is deeply, deeply obsessed with the Tallest. To the same level Dib is about exposing him if not more so. No you know what? His like a good 3x more then Dib's. You could call it love, but it kinda not really. If he were given that sort of attention from the Tallest he would accept it with as much gusto as he could manage, but another part of him would writhe like a salted snail. Red kisses him? He'll sneak up on him later and kiss him back. And his insides would violently twist with the brightest smile one his face.

What breed this obsession? It was kinda always there, but it got waaaaaay worse after his head got stuck in the tear in reality and he relived a bunch of fake lives and was convinced he died. It also worsened when they were coronated, like he always wanted to be the Tallest, but now they were, and it's not like he could kill them after he got taller, Red and Purple were his best friends before they realized what was going on, besides all Irken's were supposed to love the tallest and he never had before so this would make him less of a defect, plus you know the Spork thing making them afraid/think lower of him which is absolutely unacceptable in every form and fashion and MUST be correct.

But he's also a tired little dude that need a hug and has been running on fumes for decades.

He wants them as both parents and brothers but is deeply bothered by them giving a more romantic kind of intimacy to anyone else, but him, because that must mean they like them more and he will fucking combusted from it. Super un-fucking-healthy. But fun. Woo.

Red and Purple have fucked. They aren't brothers, despite the warped picture Zim's created in his head. And Zim is aware of this fact and chooses to ignore it.

[wisteria-lodge]

unBurnt lion primary (badger model) + badger secondary

Hello! It’s nice to meet you (and I hope I’m in the right place for this)! I’ve followed you for quite a long time and I really enjoy your thoughts. I was wondering if you could help me out with my primary? I’m fairly certain I’ve figured out my secondary (badger), but I’m struggling with my primary–it could be either badger or lion (both answers I’ve gotten), or maybe even a twist from left field (bird?).

All right, let’s sort you out :D

The only primary I think I certainly don’t have is Snake, though I think I wanted to be a Snake. Growing up, I was obsessed with the idea of having a best friend. When I finally got a best friend, we grew incredibly codependent, so much so that it was devastating when she broke up with me 

Hmmm. All things being equal, this sounds like a Badger primary. They’re probably the most in danger of going co-dependent. But young Snake is also possible - young Snakes tend to put a LOT of importance on best friends and first romantic partners, and I do think it’s interesting that the way you phrased it, you and your friend “broke up.” But, a Burned Lion latching onto an external source is also possible. 

(I couldn’t choose between her and the potential blowback of my community, who I thought wouldn’t support me, leaving me friendless where I was living. I made no choice. She left).

Oooh, that sounds pretty darn Badger. At very least, an intense Badger model. 

The only person I really trust fully anymore is my mom, but I recognize that she’s not always right, and I’ll argue against her when she’s not. 

Probably not a burned Idealist (at least not right now.)  

I think sometimes love, to me, is permission to be a lot more honest with people. 

First, that is an absolutely beautiful way to think about love. A very relatable way to think about love. But that focus on honesty and authenticity... does tend to be a Lion thing. 

I think I’m a badger primary because of patterns. When I moved as an adolescent, I felt completely unmoored, and I immediately tried to find a community to attach myself onto. But I don’t necessarily think I took my morality from the group of people I was with; rather, I tried to do things I thought would be best for the group, after understanding how it worked. 

That is the description of a Badger secondary, which we know you are.

There was an element of the group that desperately lacked, so I created a one-woman-stop where I essentially did four tasks at once so that we would have this strong structure that would benefit everyone. 

Yeah, you’re a LOUD Badger secondary. Badger secondaries are all about that sort of “The DnD party needs a healer, I guess I’m playing a cleric,” kind of mentality. 

My friends called me out for not delegating well, 

A common Badger secondary problem. We do tend to think “but what if we worked harder” :/

so I tried to fix it by creating a team (which felt strange. I love to work, but I would hate to devalue anyone by not accepting their help when offered). When the team’s work wasn’t very strong, I asked them to make it stronger. I had very strong feelings about the “right” and “wrong” way to do things, and about the kind of quality of work we needed to put out (which: was I taking this too seriously and potentially being hard on people who were helping me? Probably. It would have been different if we had been just messing around, but people were counting on us to do good work, and we had to make it count. Plus, I like doing work I’m proud of.) 

ugh, the CURSE of the group project. This is one of the reasons that I *do* think Badger secondaries often struggle as team *leaders.* I mean you can train yourself out of this mindset of course. But still. Annoying. (and the temptation to just do everyone else’s work is still there.) 

Now, in a new location in a new community, after hearing what hurts the group and the common problems are (and getting extremely frustrated) I decided to try and organize us so we can fix it. I hate complaining about something that could be fixed without trying to fix it 

I think whatever community/communities you’ve been part of have been extremely Badger. I want to say that this is a very Badger way of thinking about things - it’s pointless to talk about the problem unless you also have the solution.

and I’m tired of watching my friends get hurt. I try to join communities that agree with and support my morals, 

See, I’m really leaning more Lion primary for you. You’re using a lot of Badger language, but it seems a little more external and conscious, while when you talk about Lion... that’s just the way things are. Morals first, communities second, that’s a Lion way of thinking about it. With Badgers, the community becomes the morality. They have this way of picking up and carrying the communities they’re a part of with them. 

but I also very deeply believe that we can make things better in communities that are worth it. 

I would hope that any primary could/should be able to believe this. 

I feel like that sounds fairly lion, but sometimes I can’t tell where my ideals end and my communities begin, because so much of what I believe is based around the way people deserve to be treated. 

You almost certainly have Badger-flavored morals, and ALSO you’ve got that Badger secondary which is extremely concerned with things being done *fairly* and *right.*

I know that I tend to have an idea of certain codes people should follow and beliefs people should have. A lot of it I get from my parents; they taught me a lot about everyone’s value as people, about being kind to others, and about hard work. A lot of it I learned from the leftist internet in my teenage years. I learned during that period the downsides of “outsourcing” my moral code. 

Hmm. “Outsourcing” your moral code is an interesting way to put it, and honestly sounds much more like Burned Lion than anything else. I don’t think any other primary would put it quite that way. I wonder if I was right with my first guess, and you *were* burned when you were younger. 

While the opinions I was expressing were ones the people around me shared, and I still believe in a lot of what was said, I don’t think the way in which I went about those movements was always empathetic. 

While this could be a few different things depending on the circumstances, I relate HARD to that Lion Badger combination of “I don’t regret what was said; I regret the specific way I said it.” 

I do believe that there is no hierarchy of humans and that we’re all in this together, but I also know that I’m inherently pretty judgemental (as much as I try to appear like I’m not). When someone does something I think is really rude, or expresses a belief I have problems with (nothing big, but maybe something small), I don’t share with them as much, and we become less close. They still deserve fundamental human respect, but I trust them less.

Yeah. You’re an idealist. You’re a Lion. No wonder this was so relatable, we house match. 

I know this got fairly long winded and I’m sorry; I tried to edit it down. I hope you’re having a lovely day! Thank you so much!

You are very welcome, and I thought this was quite short and to the point. 

[just-bible-musings]

A Word About Asceticism

I've always kind of worshipped at the altar of asceticism. I've always thought I'm a bad Christian because I don't give up all my worldly possessions and go stand on a street corner and hand out tracts and tell people to repent. I can't tell you the number of times I've been angry at God for giving me good, pleasant things. Largely because I, personally, have known people who had crappy lives and not much of anything. I feel sorry for those people, and then I feel guilty for all the good things God gives me.

And yes, I would love to share with them, but it always seems to work out that they don't need what I have to give them. Some people are too proud and stubborn to accept anything. Other times, it's just weird. One time, a relative of mine needed some money. I had none to give them because I had literally just spent my entire savings fixing a car emergency. But I had stocked my cabinets and freezer with food before then, so I offered them some. They didn't need food, they were getting food packages from their local food pantry. I had nothing else they needed.

And that's just one example.

I guess it's a kind of survivor's guilt. I just feel bad and ask God almost constantly if I should just sell all my stuff and go live in the woods like the holy hermits of ye olden days. I beg Him sometimes to just give me the GUTS to do this, because I know good and well, if I tried doing it on my own, I might last a week (haha! lookit me, putting so much faith in myself!) before I get scared and hungry and return to civilization.

But I read this the other day:

Let no man beguile you of your reward in a voluntary humility... Colossians 2:18

"Voluntary humility?" Like asceticism? So... I'm not a bad Christian if I live in a house and have nice things?

Colossians 2 up to this verse was Paul saying, "Look, all your sins are forgiven, they're dead and buried in Christ and you, as a person, and your soul have been resurrected." And then a few verses later:

Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (Touch not; taste not; handle not; Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? Colossians 2:20-22

It's kind of hard to believe, but it's like Paul's saying, "Stop letting other people tell you how to live your life!" Which I always thought was a worldly way of looking at things, so I've always been someone looking for others to tell me how to live. But it seems like God said it first?

Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body: not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh. Colossians 2:23

Basically, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, all those attitudes look good, but they're not gonna make you any better of a person."

Also, something I literally just noticed as I was typing all this out: that phrase, "will worship," in verse 23.

I think we could also look at it as "worship OF the will" (or, as some people might call it, "determination"). In any case, it's NOT from God. Doing it on your own, no matter how strong-willed or determined you are, does not bring glory to God, only to yourself.

It still bothers me that God hasn't called me or given me the strength to do the things I sometimes see other people doing, because I'm not sure if I'm following His will. It's scary to feel called to do something different. But I'm really not a strong person, never was. If He doesn't give me the courage to do something, I know I won't make it. So at this point, the best I can do is to keep doing what I've been doing and ask God if it's still the right thing.

[ketavinsky]

No worries about long response times. I might just be in a nostalgic mood but it feels a bit like sending actual letters and getting excited waiting for a response. For me the wandering urge is almost a way to make sure I can’t need anybody. The second I realize I’ve started relying on someone or people know me too much, I get terrified. I’ve still yet to find people who won’t use it against me so it’s easier if I remove the chance altogether. I think it’d be nice someday if the paranoia dies down to have a life with people who know me and let me lean on them without ulterior motives. I think I’d like to bake with someone in an apartment or a house, anywhere with lots of trees and birds around. In the meantime I have my cat and myself, sometimes people online but those often pass too. I’m codependent at core but I’m trying to break it by force I suppose. The idea of a home is everything I’ve ever loved and feared in one, yknow?

I think I understand what you mean. It’s easy for me to theorize why I feel how I do but all of the answers feel incomplete or insignificant to the feeling itself, like I’m missing something vital. I feel a lot of things for old pictures of myself, for lots of potential reasons but I think predominantly I feel grief and disconnect. It doesn’t feel like me but it feels like someone who should have been. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the story of changelings but it feels a lot like that. There’s this kid in these photos who people tell me I am but I can’t imagine it. They feel so different from me physically, emotionally, etc. My brain refuses to accept that I could have ever been the kid in the pictures and I feel that everyone else can see it too. There’s something wrong about me, some cruelty that made me kill off the person in the pictures and make me into something distinctly Other. Maybe it’s always been this way, I don’t remember my childhood much. I guess from a more realistic theory dissociation is to blame but that seems so empty for everything I feel. I suppose it makes sense though. I’ve always pretended to be someone else, I never felt like I was truly who I was supposed to, expected to be. As a kid it was anyone stronger, braver, more wanted. As a teen I was a horror movie protagonist, or antagonist, either way it made the suffering right and reasonable and palatable instead of just tragic. Now I’m not sure who I am, or who I was, or who I will be. I hope 23 brings me the same awareness.

Not sure how to phrase this in a way that won’t sound weird but I love the way you talk. You make everything sound so effortlessly poetic and important. It hits emotions I haven’t felt in a while. I also love the use of different medias, both in your writing and in your blog. I’ve never been as good with words but it all makes me feel things I don’t have names for, adding layers to each other. I think a lot of times the best word I can identify for your writing is wistful but there’s more than that too. Thank you for sharing it. The email especially struck me. A couple months ago I watched my friend be taken from his room on a stretcher. Overdosed. Two hours prior I had narrowly convinced myself not to do the same. It felt like some cosmic karma. That I should’ve been the one lying there, blank stared and he should’ve kept going. It should’ve been me. Sometimes I think he is me and I am him and no one is anyone except maybe each other. Do you feel that way too? It seems to me sometimes that without other people around, I’m not sure I would even exist.

I’ve been through so many groups and people, desperate relationships and friendships that have felt more like mutual destruction than love and yet I do still miss them. I feel incomplete on my own and I know people will say that everyone is their own person but I’m not. I don’t feel like my own person, I don’t know how or who to be without someone else to reflect off of and live for. I don’t know my own dreams without someone to share them with. I haven’t found anything good yet but I’d take the surety of a constant companion using me over the aching and longing of a lifetime alone. I have these two friends now but I know it must be exhausting for them. They’re together, likely to be married, and so healed and capable while I’m still crashing and burning on the daily. They do their best but there’s things they can never know, never understand. I spill my guts in front of them and they just look at each other, unsure what to do with me. I don’t know either. I’m not sure if it’s selfish of me to let them keep trying. I know they love me, in the first real way I’ve ever been loved. But maybe if I loved them properly, in a way with less claws and teeth and desperation, I’d let them let go of me. In two years we’ll go our separate ways and I’m selfishly chasing every minute I have left.

Got a bit carried away this time. I hope you’re well. -N

hello N! no need to worry about being carried away i always appreciate seeing these messages and as always i apologise for my late response times! i would love to send messenger pigeons or something of the like one day but there is... a lot to sort out before i can achieve this. anyways, i hope you see this nonetheless because i enjoy your takes! i relate to and appreciate your takes on the home -i was about to say the motif of the home, for a moment there, hasty backspacing, etc- and i hope you someday achieve the ideal of someplace safe you can be seen, and see, by others, with your cat as well. the older i get the simultaneously wider and smaller the world gets and i think id someday want an easy resting place to come home to. myself i dont think ive felt home anywhere other than the house i recently moved out of. i mourn that a little bit. the old house.

i understand acutely what you mean when you refer to changelings. i was actually thinking about the last night- i would have replied then but it was a little too heavy, all of it, to hold. i don't know what to make it. i don't even know if that's true. i think after all this time i should know what to make of all of it but maybe it eludes me right now as i type? there's like this..... separation between myself and everyone else that i meet and it can't be overcome- i can only twist myself into different shapes and people. anyways, i was thinking about it last night, because i keep thinking, the world is so huge and we as individuals are so small, but i can't help but think, all the people that i see, they will never understand. you know? say everyone experiences something on this scale of disconnect from their peers and images of themselves) im sure many, many do, i have to tell myself im sure) and say we all contain multitudes (of this i am certain). say those things are absolutely true. even if they were absolutely true i still feel like it can't be understood by many multitudes most. do you think you've been cruel to yourself? do you think you've been cruel to people who have cared about these facets or memories that you feel very little kinship with? where does the cruelty come from and where is it directed? you don't have to answer! i think... that ive been exceptionally cruel to myself and people around me at times, unintentionally, and intentionally too, intentionally a lot of the time, but i think that my unrelenting i-am-standing-on-the-precipice-of-a-cliff-or-a-bear-trap curbs most of these somewhat antisocial tendencies.

thank you for your kindness regarding my writing. i really think it's all i can do sometimes. i dont mean it in a self deprecating way. i feel like... i feel like most of my life has been translating the things i feel and the things i see and above all else the things i hear into recognisable format, with varying degrees of success. when i was young i wished for some kind of technological marvel that would connect my mind with anyone else's and then they would see and i would know that they saw and then in that moment i would finally have an earnest friend. the idea that i might not be able to publish my personal projects for reasons in my control and outside of it is therefore quite excruciating. do you want to be understood? do you think it would salve some part if you if you knew, like really knew, someone could hold your eye and say I GET IT I DO and you could trust that they meant it? i know there's a lot of different ideas there to unpack. the thing of trust the thing of eye contact. i personally kind of struggle with eye contact but im starting to think that maybe im fine with eye contact and i tell people i dont do eye contact so i dont freak them out when i actually hold their gaze? my partner,,.. well as in that piece of writing my partner thinks i have a hollow stare. it's easier to avoid eye contact entirely. i hope you held your eye of the friend if that's your thing. i hope he's alright. is he alright? again no pressure to respond. i hope he's alright. Sometimes I think he is me and I am him and no one is anyone except maybe each other. i think you have a way with words as well- this is beautiful, and i understand, i do. do you think you would be happier if you could be someone else? an extension of them like one of their organs or limbs? do you think that would be easier? i feel like a conjoined twin scavenged from some red and ravaged mess before i had enough grey matter to form memory, but i feel all the time the phantom presence of my unseen unnamed unrecognised other half. you know? i think all the time that if there were two of us this would be easier to bear. like, if i were two and not just myself, i could be happy, or if i were instead the unnamed unseen unrecognised part of the self. you know? if i were the shoulders i could bear it. if i were the hands i could bear it. if i were the lizard hindbrain i would transform it and smother it in tissue paper and then i would hide it away and the not-me, the gestalt entirety, would then be happy. you know?

i want to be able to tell you that im sure your friends love you wholly and selflessly despite how you describe yourself or your fluctuating idea of self but i dont know your friends. i hope that for you, though, i really do. i hope there's an answer too. i feel the same- whenever i move somewhere else i pack all of myself up and crush it and shelve it away so i can use it to entertain the next group of people and each and every time none of them can believe who i used to be or how things were then and i cant explain that each and every time i loved them all and i really do feel like i was inadequate as a human being let alone a friend. it's so easy for some people it seems. these people were bad for you and these were good, or it's complicated and people are complicated and your little life is complicated, but it's all part of you, and this is the life you have lived/are living. i don't think these things encapsulate what it's like. is it like that for you? i'm sorry that your friends look at each other like you're untranslatable unnamable unrecognisable. i am. i hope they love you. i hope you're friends for a long while yet.

earlier this year there was a major fissure in my current friend group. we've all pretty much been living with each other for five years and the friend group split apart due to a financial dispute that became emblematic of Everyone's Personal Life Philosophy and i feel like i'm the only person who recognises why it went so badly because i'm always watching people, you know? on one end one of my friends was super no non-sense logical; another felt undervalued for a gift of service, something he puts a lot of pride in, he's a gardener, he's a cook; another tried to bring a philosopher's love of querying and a very moral perspective that was perhaps inappropriate for the level of emotion at the time; the last, the most recent friend, sort of derided the rest of us for the infighting but aimed for diplomacy; i, the coward, the observer, sat in the background and kind of watched them grow to hate each other. i shouldn't be so melodramatic but the gist is one of the best friends ive ever had has been cruel to the others, something im not sure i know how to forgive yet, and he wont speak to me, and things are different and nobody wants to think about the five years we were a solar system. i don't know what to do with that. i don't know, i don't know. it's such a waste. all of these save for me and another grew up with siblings; all of them grew up with stable homes and parents whose interactions with them were rarely violent if ever; all of them are... i would say functional people, save for me, and i feel like it's such a waste. the house i go back to for the holidays isnt a safe one and so i invest most of myself into friendships and when theyre destroyed it hurts me and i think its such a waste. its such a waste and they might not understand how much of a waste it is but i do.

i hope you and your friends love each other dearly for a long while yet. i truly do hope that for you

shrike/chez/whatever name you please

[lilacastar]

Little by little, stressful thoughts deconstructed as careful fingers assembled the carrier fighter.

It was a Grumman F-14A Tomcat. Garret's gentle hands glided over the model airplane, adjusting and adding. Finally not thinking. Finally doing something for himself, instead of giving everything he has to get through the day. Just this one thing for himself, and nothing could take that away. The bad thoughts couldn't reach him while he built.

After coming home to an empty apartment, he showered away the filth of the day, trimmed his beard neat, and cleaned the entire kitchen. From an outside view, he was productive and responsible. Only those with shared feelings knew, it was simply a cloak to make the perpetual feeling of dirtiness, feel a little less dirty.

"Garret?"

The voice startled him, but his steady hands refused to break character and nothing was dropped or broken. He gently set the unfinished carrier down to give attention to the unexpected Liz, still in her work shirt. A few strands of her dirty blonde hair had come undone from her pony, just long enough to reach her shoulder.

A light smile passed through him, "You're off early?"

"Nope," Liz smiled back. "It's nearly 8:30"

"Oh," He said in a daze.

She messed his tidied hair, "Looks like you were really into that. It's good to see you building again." She paused, taking a second to take in what was different. "You look nice, you cleaned up didn't you?"

"Thought it was time."

-

Tired from the day, emotionally exhausted, the two decided to not create any more dishes and instead ordered. But as Garret ate, the thoughts returned, a swirl of nausea making him want to stop.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Liz asked.

"Mmh," He mumbled. "I don't know really."

"You always say that." She said dejectedly.

"I'm sorry," He sighed. She was right, but it was never the right time. Never the right words and he could never bring himself to say if something was wrong. Even when they loved him.

"Can you at least tell me, I don't know, one thing about what's been bothering you?"

Would she believe him? Would saying something make her ask more questions? Would it be obvious of his personal experience? Anything to do with himself, and it was as if his voice was taken. Lost and buried down in his own body. But this wasn't about him, it was about Issac. And Issac deserved to be seen.

"Say," Garret started, and took a long pause to think deeply about how to phrase it neutrally.

Liz waited without a word, accepting any form of communication.

"Say," He resumed. "There is a student who inconsistently has behavior problems."

"Alright." She encouraged.

"Sometimes he seems to pay attention and participate, sometimes not. Sometimes he frequently needs the restroom multiple times a day, sometimes a normal amount. He often can't sit in one position long, and puts his hands in his pants. He might stare at other kids and adults pants too."

"Is he special needs?"

"No."

"A little weird, I guess. But he's what, 8?"

"What do you make of it? What would you think is wrong?"

"Uh, I mean I'm not a psychologist but maybe ADHD? Especially since he can't sit still."

"What about frequently putting his hands in his pants, and a weird relationship with the bathroom?"

"Isn't it not uncommon for people with ADHD to sometimes have poor physical awareness? Like, they get so into what they're doing they don't realize they need or eat or pee."

He nodded, "It can be, yeah. But what if, say, he also has poor hygiene. His hair is always unbrushed, and it's often not showered. And he wet himself."

"Gross, but yeah. If his mom isn't making him do it, they forget to clean themselves. Bad on her, honestly."

She doesn't see it. How could she not see it? It was so obvious to him, the signs were there, but no one else ever saw them as red flags. They refused to see them. Was this why no one ever said anything about his own signs as a child?

He swallowed, his voice becoming increasingly hard to stay strong and keep going. But she hadn't seen it. If she couldn't see what was obvious, then she probably wouldn't see the connection between him and the situation as well.

"Did you know," He started again. "That poor hygiene and things like bed-wetting past the appropriate age, can be a sign of-" His heart pounded, never having explained this before. But he still couldn't manage to say out loud, the particular type. "A sign of abuse?"

"Sort of? I mean, I guess not, actually. Sometimes kids are just kind of gross. Do you think that's what's happening?"

"Well, children who wet themselves past a normal time, or refuse to bathe, sometimes are doing it for a reason other than accidents."

"What do you mean?"

"Whether it's subconscious or not, sometimes a child will want to make themselves undesirable, so the abuse won't happen that day...or night. 'If I am gross and unclean, then maybe they won't want to be near me and hurt me', kind of thought process."

"That's awful," She added. "I hope to god that's not happening to your student."

"Ideally, me too. But things don't always account for our hopes. I'm just...stressed about the possibilities."

"Have you tried talking to his parents?"

"If it's coming from anyone in the family, then addressing it will only make them take the blame out on the child."

"Huh. I hope it's not happening, but I guess just keep an eye out since you're worried about it."

Just keep an eye out.

Is that what they said about you? Did anyone even notice? Why did no one notice when it was so obvious? Why didn't they care?

No one fucking cared.

'Just keep an eye out' and don't do a single thing to help. But what were he to do now? What could he do, if saying something would end up coming back at the child in need?

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

[notes]

"See something, say something" isn't always the right thing to do. Telling an abuser/potential abuser you think something is wrong, will not make them rethink their choices. It won't make them mad at you. It will make them mad at the victim. The victim is who faces the consequences in private, not you, not the person in question. Them.

[slasherhaven]

Can I request Thomas and the Sinclair brothers with a supportive s/o? Like the s/o's always telling them how great they're doing and how proud they are of them.

Thomas Hewitt and The Sinclair Brothers with a Supportive S/O:

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas deserves plenty of support and praise for a job well done. He does most of the physical labour and all of the heavy lifting in the household, the family couldn't cope without him.

Despite being vital to the family, Thomas doesn't get the amount of support he deserves. Sure, Luda May occasionally comments on how he's a good boy who takes care of the family, but it's not quite enough.

Just to make it clear, Thomas isn't asking for more! He doesn't expect praise or thanks, this is his duty and he will do it.

So, when you come along, not letting him do anything without gratitude, it is...different.

No matter what it is, you thank Thomas genuinely even occasionally throwing in an "I owe you!" Of course, he would never cash in on that debt.

As time goes on you tell him that you're proud of him nearly daily.

Sometimes you randomly throw it out there, with a fleeting comment about being proud to be with a man who cares so much for his family.

Other times, you'll be stroking his hair, whispering adoringly about how proud you are of him and how grateful you and the family are for all his hard work.

He had come to expect no gratitude for his work, he didn't expect anymore, and he still didn't but he had to admit that it was a nice feeling. It made him feel appreciated and loved.

Whenever you see that he is having a bad day, whether he's aching from physical labour or stressed from Hoyt's bad mood, you always make sure to remind him of what a good job he is doing.

Just that little bit of sincere appreciation makes Thomas feel a little lighter. The work he did is noticed by someone, someone who loves and appreciates him.

Bo Sinclair

Bo can't remember the last time he received so much support from somebody. In fact, he would argue that he never received it and he might be right.

He certainly couldn't remember the last time somebody said they were proud of him. No, he knew that nobody had ever said they were proud of him, and he was certain nobody had ever felt proud of him either.

He was fine with this, is what he would tell you if you asked. Well, you'd probably get an even more dismissive response than that in reality.

When you first started showing him sincere support, he was suspicious. You're being...serious? If so then...why? He brushes it off, doesn't let it bother him.

But you continue, always expressing when you're impressed with something he did (normally when he was working on a car).

You need to be careful with your phrasing when it comes to Bo, simply telling him that he's doing a good job will make him feel like you're being condescending rather than sincere. It's better to express it through praise and gushing over him rather than more sincere appreciation of him.

Maybe you'll be able to ease him into accepting some more genuine praise from you.

At first you think it only fuels his ego, making him more cocky, but as you get to know him better you realise that it means more to him than he lets on.

It's the first time that you express pride in him that makes him pause.

You've expressed a certain level of pride to be with him before, when strangers came into Ambrose but he assumed a part of it was an act.

He was having a bad day and you wanted to try to fix that. You knew your next few words could either help or just makes things worse, but you took the risk. You told him that you were proud of him, plain and simple but deeply meaningful.

Bo doesn't understand when he started appreciating your little comments, maybe he always had, but he's come to accept it finally.

He just sighed and nodded as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You stayed silent, not wanting to push your luck.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent hasn't received much support or praise since his mother, the only person who ever really gave him it at all.

Then it was just him and his brothers, and he wasn't going to get too much support from them.

He doesn't need to be told he's doing a good job for the most part. When it comes to running Ambrose and it's upkeep, he knows that he pulls his weight and does a good job. Hell, Bo can barely even complain about it, and that's good enough for him.

But still...he didn't get any support or praise for it. Which is fine by him, at least that's what he tells himself.

Of course, when travellers come into town and Vincent deal with them, you tell him how proud you are of him and that he does a great job. This is nice to hear and it might even get him a little flustered but it's easier for him to shrug off. He appreciates it but it's just his job, not what he's passionate about.

That's why you get a much better reaction out of him when you comment on his art work.

When you express your pride in having such a talented boyfriend. Now, that's something that will get him flustered.

When he finishes a new piece and lets you see it for the first time, watching you admire it before expression your admiration.

This is the praise he thrives on, and he will do anything to hear your pride in him again.

Out of the few inhabitants of Ambrose, you are the most supportive of Vincent's art (the pieces uninvolved with victims) and you're vocal about that support, always voicing it to Vincent.

Vincent decides that he doesn't need the support, he's gone long enough without it, but he also knows that if it stopped he would miss it desperately. Miss you desperately.

Lester Sinclair

Lester isn't really that insecure about his own capabilities. He knows there are things that people can do better than him but it doesn't bother him. He knows what he is good at and he knows he is good at it, that he is perfectly capable.

Sometimes he thinks that, compared to his brothers, he is not such a vital part of keeping the town running. Though, there are times when he realises they need him just as much as he needs them.

Lester doesn't need much praise, he's not over-confident by any means, he is simply content.

But then you came along and were just so damn supportive.

No matter what Lester did, no matter how small the task, you were always genuinely appreciative.

Whenever a group of travellers came into town and you and Lester reunited after the chaos, you would always tell him that you're proud of him while you gave him a hug.

And, of course, you're always supportive of him. Whether he's kicking his truck back into action or dealing with roadkill, you make sure to mention that he's doing a good job.

Lester doesn't get much appreciation from his brothers and he definitely never gets any praise, he just does the work expected of him without expecting any reward. But you always make him feel like he's doing good, something he never really thought he needed.

Maybe he didn't need it but he definitely likes it. He eats up any praise and support you offer him, it always puts a smile on his face and brightens up his day. It makes him feel seen.