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#Just be grateful he wanted to TALK.
jtl-fics · 10 months
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Fluent Freshman - Part 29
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“Neil, why do you have Smith’s phone?” Andrew asks as the two of them are setting out plates for lunch. Neil startled and looked down at the phone that he had just sat at the table and furrowed his brow.
“What do you mean? This is mine?” Neil asks. He knows his phone even if he’s not really the best with them.
The one that Andrew had given him his Freshman year had died after it got run over by the Maserati when Neil left it on the roof of the car by accident. The second one Andrew had gotten him had been destroyed in rather spectacular fashion earlier in the year when he’d had a bit of a freak out on January 19th. The team knew better than to text him on that particular day now but Andrew had said that he’d take custody of his phone this year. Wymack had stepped in with a phone that same day before Andrew could buy him a new one and that phone had been launched at the Baseball captain that summer.
All this to say, Neil is now looking at the phone in concern because it is highly likely he swapped his with FF’s.
“No it’s not.” Andrew sighs and points to a corner, “You cracked yours up here.” He opens the phone and then the contacts and sure enough Neil doesn’t see his own contacts but the ones that Nicky had programmed into FF’s the day before.
“Oh, I guess I switched them at the hospital.” He says with an embarrassed blush. Maybe he should get a little accessory to differentiate his phone from the other ones that Wymack has gotten.
There’s a slight commotion in the kitchen, “Kevin, stop trying to add vanilla protein powder to Smithy’s soup!” Nicky shouts.
“He needs protein to heal properly! That nutritionist might just feed him a loaf of bread since he is using an outdated model!” Kevin argues back.
“Kevin the doctor said clear soup also do you want to make Smiths sick? Vanilla protein powder and chicken broth?” Aaron asks disgust evident.
“I’d use unflavored but this is all that’s in the house and I am not going shopping until this weekend is over.” Kevin argues back.
“Smiths went out shopping on Black Friday and came back unscathed. He even went out into the worst of it just to get some groceries for baking and breakfast.” Aaron says with a huff.
“He still got stabbed!” Kevin returns.
“Kevin, he was definitely not grocery shopping when he got stabbed.” Nicky shoots back.
“He needs-“
“Przywiążę cię do krzesła.” Neil hears Smith’s Grandma cut Kevin off. Her tone is so sweet just like it has been the last couple times she has interrupted an argument between them all. She really has warmed up to them since Andrew confessed.
Nicky lets out a loud bark of laughter.
“Are you okay?” Aaron asks.
“Yeah, cutting onions make me laugh.” Nicky returns quickly.
Kevin walks out of the Kitchen with the same gooey expression he’s gotten every time Smith’s Grandma has said something sweet to him but considering how often and how hard Nicky laughs at what she says he wonders if she’s just sassing him in a sweet tone.
He really needs to pick up a phrase book.
He might like her even more if his theory is correct.
“It shouldn’t be a big problem.” Neil says but he is a bit more careful as he moves FF’s phone away from where it could get damaged. “Smith is definitely asleep. He looked really tired.” Neil says and it twists his own stomach to think about how FF looked in his hospital bed. FF wouldn’t take anything more than the bare minimum when it came to pain medication.
Each “I’m fine.” He gave had him coming to a deeper and deeper understanding of how frustrating it is to have someone who is CLEARLY not fine say they are.
“I’m more concerned about who might text you.” Andrew says.
Neil shrugs, “Ichirou is more the type to just show up.” Because it’s true. Every time he’s met Ichirou there had been very little warning.
Andrew frowns but then Nicky is coming out with lunch. It was nothing fancy but a home cooked meal always made Neil feel warm. Smith’s grandma had just been using what was in their pantry so far but the two other meals (and her pie) had been amazing.
“Lunch is ready. We’ll head back to the hospital afterwards to see when Smithy can get discharged.” Nicky says putting a large bowl of pasta in the center of the table. Aaron came out a moment later with the Parmesan shaker and the protein powder bottle.
“Here you go Kevin, add as much as you want to your own meal.” Aaron says in a sweet tone just like Smith’s Grandma.
“Eat shit Aaron.” Kevin scowls now knocked out of his gooey expression as fills his plate with pasta and reaches for the Parmesan.
Neil can’t help but let out a puff of laughter at the interaction and lets the worry of being away from his phone slide away. FF was sleeping, he was safe, and Ichirou had not expressed any interest in talking to him.
“Pass that to me when you’re done.” Neil asks pointing at the Parmesan as he fills his and Andrew’s plates.
***
There had been a plan.
Nathaniel Wesninski was supposed to be at this hospital at least according to his cell phone location. His future investment was not the best at keeping that device on him though so he was willing to wait when there were no signs of the Wesninski. There would, of course, be a cost for his patience. He had his men go seek out the uninvolved civilian. If Wesninski came back and found his friend threatened due to his lackadaisical nature with his phone perhaps he’d remember to keep it on him.
Except now that very uninvolved civilian is sitting in front of him. The ’Smith’ that Wesninski had spoken of.
He sees Wesninski’s phone sat on the table and his eyes go back to the young man in front of him. He wonders if this was some ploy by Wesninski, some statement. This young man in front of him took out one of the Butcher’s top men on his own.
He’d confirmed it when he’d gone to see Jackson earlier that day. He went to remind them what would happen if they tried to turn over anything to the Federal agents and to see how two of his biggest headaches had been taken out so suddenly.
Jackson talked about how Wesninski’s friend hadn’t seemed surprised to find him in the alley, had seemed like he had been expecting it and how swiftly he had been taken out. Wesninski’s guard dog had gone out afterwards and they’d lead Romero into a trap that resulted in his arrest and this civilian swearing up and down that Romero was the one that stabbed him even though Romero asserts that he never had a firm grip on the knife.
A great way to ensure he was held by the police while they were fully investigated. They wouldn’t have much time to investigate either of the Butcher’s remnants. Ichirou was only offering the choice between something painful or something easy.
The young man in front of him offered nothing, waiting for Ichirou to begin the talks. His expression clearly showing that he’d happily wait Ichirou out as if he was long used to tense silences. There is no doubt that this man in front of him knows exactly who he is but he still has the audacity to wait him out.
“Where is Wesninski?” He tightens his fist at having to ask first.
“That’s not Captain Neil’s last name anymore.” FF returns with the first hint of expression on his face being a frown.
The first piece of information given. So, loyal to Nathaniel and not to the Wesninski line. Loyal to Captain Neil.
“Captain Neil is getting lunch.” He answers, “I’m the only one here for you to talk to right now.” He adds after a moment putting his hands on the table.
Ichirou can understand what isn’t being said.
“Does, Josten, realize you’re here?” He asks taking care to use Wesninski’s new last name knowing he wouldn’t get his answers otherwise. He has a hard time imagining the man who was so loyal to his friends purposefully leaving this one to act as defense for him.
Wesninski had been very clear during his brief phone conversation with him, “Smith was just caught up in all of this. He’s not a threat to you Lord Moriyama.” He had said voice steady and without a hint of a lie.
“In the hospital? Of course.” He returns, “Down here talking to you? He’ll probably be upset.” he says after a moment.
“And yet, you’re here.” He says mirroring the man’s own relaxed posture.
Loyal but willing to do something that might displease the one he is loyal to if it would keep them safe. Ichirou stops himself from looking to his left where his most loyal man stood. Connor had stepped in front of threats he hadn’t seen coming plenty of times, had questioned him even when Ichirou had threatened to cut out his tongue for it, and had always had the courage to look Ichirou in the eye when he explained himself no matter how injured he was or how irate Ichirou was.
It’s something rare and it seems like it is something Wesninski has found unknowingly.
“Yes, I’m here to talk about Friday night.” He says, “I assume you’ve already spoken with Romero and Jackson.” He says moving the conversation away from Wesninski. Bringing Ichirou’s attention and possible ire to himself.
A truly rare find in his world.
“Yes, let’s talk about Friday night.” He agrees.
***
What was it about the Smith family and making great food?
It was just a simple combination of canned tomatoes, butter, pasta, onions, cheese, spices and garlic but it had Neil going for a third serving. Smith’s Grandma had really made enough to feed an army and when he’d commented Nicky had just reached over and tried to pinch his cheek fat only for his fingers to find little to grab onto, “You’re too thin! Eat more!” He exclaimed before repeating it to Smith’s Grandma in Polish who nodded earnestly.
Wymack was at the table after he took a shower. Kevin was still trying to convince Aaron of all people that he should be allowed to put protein powder into the clear soup that was simmering on the stove top for FF. The dietary restrictions someone faced while they were healing from stomach surgery was no joke.
The other Dealer had dropped despite Wymack and Neil’s best attempts to get Lisa to stay. Seemed determined to head back to her small town and rejoin the family cult she had escaped from. He’d been worried about her going home but she had insisted she’d be back.
It was unfortunate but it was also Lisa’s choice.
His stomach twists wondering if FF is going to go back to Washington with his Grandma when he gets released. There had barely been a whisper of danger from Neil’s past since Ichirou had put that bullet in Riko’s head and now one of his few friends that had been entirely uninvolved in that nightmare was in the hospital because of him.
Andrew elbows him.
Neil turns to look and Andrew is carefully putting a penne pasta on each prong of his fork, “I can hear you worrying.” He says in Russian.
“What if Smith leaves?” He responds back in the same language.
“He has the right to.” Andrew shrugs and shoves the pasta into his mouth.
“I don’t want him to.” Neil admits, FF is a friend. A good friend.
“He still can leave even if you don’t want him to.” Andrew says as he proceeds to once again put a penne pasta on each of his fork’s prongs. “I don’t think he will though.” He adds before shoving his fork into his mouth again.
Neil blinks, “Why?” He asks.
FF isn’t like how Neil was his Freshman year, he’s steady and sure but Neil wouldn’t blame the Freshman if ‘possibly being killed off by remnants of my Captain’s crime family’ is a step too far for FF. Wouldn’t blame FF if he runs.
“He still calls you Captain Neil.” He says reaching over and squeezing Neil’s knee with his hand.
Neil blinks.
He thinks.
FF laid out on the concrete as Andrew worked to stem the blood from his stab wound, “It’s a weird sex alley Captain Neil! I don’t know WHAT to tell you!” He exclaims ready to make a joke even as he’s bleeding because of a situation Neil’s existence put him in.
FF still floating from the initial large amount of pain medication he was on pulling on Neil’s sleeve, “I’m glad you’re okay Captain Neil.” Before falling back into his drugged sleep.
FF’s eyes softening as Neil offered to get a nurse to give him more pain medication, “Really Captain Neil, I’m fine.” He says.
He lays his own hand over Andrew’s.
“I guess he does.” He offers a small tentative smile.
“Eat your pasta Junkie.” Andrew says in English now.
“You’re too thin!” Nicky reminds him and Smith’s Grandma must have picked up on the terminology since she nods earnestly in agreement as the two of them were packing up leftovers and the soup Smith’s Grandma had made for him so they could head back to the hospital to keep FF company.
***
“Why did you go out into the alley?” Ichirou asks.
“Isn’t it better that I was in the alley?” The man across from him asks with a raised brow, as if Ichirou was asking a strange question. “If I had stayed in the club, who knows what would have happened or how many people would have been hurt.” He explains without Ichirou needing to lower himself to asking.
There’s truth to that.
It’s been on the news that the remaining Wesninski inner-circle had been captured but since there’d only been one injury it had been largely overshadowed by news regarding the mass injury incidents surrounding Black Friday. If Romero had started had gotten the general public involved this would be much harder for him to silence the ones involved.
Still…
“This has caused me quite a bit of trouble. It does not look good that I am not the one who found them.” He says because there’d been talks from some of the old men he had yet to rid himself of from his Father’s time. They had wanted the remaining Wesninski men to be brought back into the fold but there was little chance of that happening now. Ichirou planned on disposing them after showing that they were worthless and using it as an excuse to start removing some of the dead weight from his father’s time.
Ichirou was not a man who tolerated incompetence.
“Isn’t it better that they were taken into custody like this?” The man across from him asks, “They were some of the Butcher’s best from what Captain Neil has told me. The fact that it only resulted in me going to the hospital and they were taken out by Andrew and I is one of the better outcomes.” He says.
Ichirou pauses and considers it.
The two men that those relics had wanted for their ‘competence’ and ‘ability’ had been taken out in a way that showcased what Ichirou had thought of them. They were sloppy, they were over-confident, and worst of all they were incompetent.
“Before I forget.” Smith says and his hand goes to the bulge in his jacket pocket.
Ichirou can feel Conner tense behind him and he wonders where this had gone wrong or how the conversation had broken down but he doesn’t have long to wonder about it as Smith pulled something out that was unmistakable as a toy with it’s bright yellow coloring. Smith sets it on the table between them and Ichirou cannot help the confusion that must show on his face despite his many years of training to keep his face blank.
“What is that?” Conner asks sounding utterly bewildered behind him.
“I used this to temporarily blind Jackson during our fight. I figure it would be useful evidence for you.” Smith says.
He hears a bark of laughter to his right as Michael reaches for the toy.
Useful evidence indeed.
It would be easy to show this as a sign that those relics could hardly be trusted to have an opinion in how he ran his empire. Those men they so prized taken out by a children’s toy.
This has gone to his benefit.
“So it would seem.” He finally says, “I will make sure to reward your assistance.” He says wanting a stronger hold over the man in front of him, a tie of some sort to the Moriyama family.
Smith shakes his head in the negative. “I didn’t do anything noteworthy. Whatever it is should go to Captain Neil.” He argues.
Rare find indeed.
“It will be done.” He says and figures with the additional cash flow eliminating the search for the Wesninski men, the removal of his father’s hanger-ons, and the blood he can squeeze from the family Romero and Jackson had intended to go to ( a supposedly allied family) he could more than afford to drop what his three Exy investments owed him as a percent.
His eyes shift over to Smith across from him and finds that he was even more willing to lower those percentages if he could not only drop the dead weight of his father’s empire but perhaps gain someone useful. “Still, I like to reward those who have directly benefitted me. We will take care of any and all hospital fees related to this incident.” He looks to his right and Michael nods.
Smith’s face doesn’t give much away, his pokerface was quite exceptional.
“Thank you." He accepts and says nothing else so Ichirou decides to make his offer.
“I have heard that you are studying languages.” He says.
“I am.” Smith says.
“Which ones do you know?” He asks.
Smith blinks, surprised by the question, “Fluently? French, German, Spanish, Polish, Dutch, Italian, R-“ he pauses and shakes his head, “Recently, I’ve been studying Japanese, Chinese, and some Korean.” He says strangely stumbling over a word for the first time this entire conversation.
A useful skill.
“If you ever find yourself looking for work,” Ichirou snaps his fingers and Conner had a card in his hand in an instant, consider reaching out.” He says before he offers it with both hands and is pleased when Smith accepts it with a slight bow before taking it with both hands. “I see you are also studying the etiquette.” He adds.
Smith looks up from the business card and he looks paler but Ichirou chalks it up to the fact that bowing slightly with his current stomach status likely hurt far more than he had let on. “If you don’t know the etiquette you only know half of the language.” He says and Ichirou quite likes the sentiment.
“Tell Josten that I no longer need to speak with him. Our conversation was satisfactory.” Ichirou says as he rises to his feet.
“I will do that…Lord Moriyama.” Smith says bowing his head politely.
***
The sight of Ichirou Moriyama was always going to be one that made Neil nervous.
The only good thing about seeing him right now was that Kevin had gone with Coach and Aaron in a separate car so that the two of them could continue their argument about protein powder in FF’s soup and Andrew had snagged a spot up front while Coach would have to park farther back.
“Lord Moriyama, I did not expect to see you here.” He greets head down and he almost goes to his knees if it wouldn’t have attracted the sort of attention that Ichirou hated from the public. He just hopes that Andrew isn’t scowling and that Nicky and Smith’s Grandma can keep quiet.
“Perhaps if you kept your phone with you then my appearance would not be such a surprise.” Ichirou comments idly, “Though I suppose I did have a very beneficial conversation with Smith. Quite a bright young man you have as a friend.” He compliments and Neil’s head shoots up in surprise at it.
Ichirou had spoken with FF.
FF who was fading in and out of consciousness.
“I have faith that he will not reveal anything.” Ichirou adds and Neil clenches his fist and wants desperately to ask what happened. Wants to know what state he’s going to find his friend in. “I have not done anything to harm him, you are lucky to have a…friend like that.” Ichirou says as if physical damage was the only thing that Ichirou Moriyama was capable of.
“Yes Lord Moriyama, he is a very talented and skilled defenseman.” He says hoping that if nothing else Ichirou’s desire for Neil and Kevin’s future profitability would have him reconsider doing anything in the future to FF to ensure they would have good showings for the professional teams.
“Yes, he was quite talented in your defense.” Ichirou nods, “I will reach out with details of our new deal once some affairs have settled. Take care of your friend, Josten.” Ichirou says before continuing out of the hospital.
New Deal?
Neil banished the thought from his head. They needed to get up to FF’s room and he needed to make sure his friend was okay and find out what exactly had happened.
Andrew’s hand came to the back of his neck and squeezed, “Calm down.” Andrew ordered voice soothingly blank even if Neil could feel the way his grip stuttered. “Let’s go.”
***
The Nurses were saying something about ‘aggravating stitches’ and ‘lucky nothing tore’ but it was all white noise to FF as he continues to think about the business card burning a hole in his pocket.
Ichirou Moriyama.
He’d just had an entire conversation with Ichirou Moriyama.
His stomach was already hurting from his ill advised walk but the moment he’d seen that name on the business card he had accepted his insides had been pure acid. He missed his Pepto Bismol more than anything right now, what he would give for just a single hit of the sweet pink relief.
He couldn’t figure out what was worse.
The fact that he had given over EVIDENCE to the head of a Yakuza group (was it a yakuza group or was it a mafia group?).
The fact that he’d been right in his thoughts from the abyss that the man in the cafeteria looked like a Yakuza member (was it a Yakuza or Mafia?).
The fact that he’d just seen a Japanese guy and thought ‘Oh, must be the Japanese FBI guy I’m supposed to talk to’ which means he’d still been kind of racist.
The fact that he just realized that he had Captain Neil’s phone and not his own meaning that Ichirou had been telling Captain Neil to come to the cafeteria and FF just showed up like a dipshit trying to pitch their lie about the alley.
Finally there was the fact that Ichirou Moriyama had apparently been impressed enough to offer him a spot within his Yakuza group (Yakuza or Mafia?)
Would it be weird to ask during the interview process? Is there an interview process to join organized crime? Do they have benefits? Wait a crime family is paying for his hospital stay right now. This is too much.
He considers asking the nurse to yes please crank up the pain killers and just let him slip into a nice not embarrassing coma but then Captain Neil and Andrew were rushing into his room. “Smith!” Captain Neil exclaims.
Well, too late to ask for that coma.
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​ @insectsgetcooked​ @angry-kid-with-no-money​ @queer-crows​ @lillyndra​ @themundanemudperson​ @readertodeath​ @apileofpillows​ @mortalsbowbeforeme​ @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupandfries​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​ @lesbian-blackbeard​ @lesbiansupernatural​ @silvermasquerade​ @thepeachfuzz​ @minniemariex​ @kazoo-the-demjin​ @gaypomegranate​ @ji-nk-ies​ @neilimfinejosten​ @omgrubelangel​ @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice​ @percabethotplove​ @cozyrosykay​ @foxyatlas​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @cindersapsecrets​ @scornedethnographer​ @hugemotherfuckingnerd​ @givemethedamnflowers​
The  requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few  different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I  promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be  something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
If you didn’t get notified on the last part it’s probably because I used tumblr mobile to post and our most beloved garbage fire site just didn’t like that.
Polish in this chapter:
Przywiążę cię do krzesła = I will tie you to a chair
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arthursfuckinghat · 2 months
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The worst part about playing rdr2 again is knowing who's going to die, how they're going to die, when they're going to die, and not be able to do a single thing about it
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Watching Eddie Begins with Buddie-colored glasses on is already crazy enough, but I just caught something that I never really thought about before. Athena tells Bobby that the news crews showing up before she leaves for another call might turn the call into a nationwide story. And then Buck absolutely LOSES it when 30 feet of wet earth falls on top of Eddie. So yeah, maybe Bobby pulls Buck away to stop him from futilely digging for Eddie with his hands, but maybe he also does it because he doesn’t want his kid’s grief and fear and love for Eddie being broadcast across the country. Especially not when Bobby thinks that Eddie’s probably already dead. And not only does Bobby pull Buck away from the well, he pulls back right into his lap. This is the closest we get to Bobby cradling Buck in his arms until the lightning strike, and it’s because he doesn’t want Buck to be in pain, and he most certainly does NOT want the tragedy of Eddie’s death to be made even worse by Buck’s pain over it being broadcast to the entire country.
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dykedvonte · 1 month
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@gecko-in-a-can THIS ABSOLUTELY
Resentment is such a big part of Benny’s motives towards House, feeling he’s underserving to rule and shouldn’t have the right to keep the title of Vegas just because he claimed it first long ago. Say what you will, Benny puts the effort in, through honest and dishonest work albeit, but he puts in the effort. Not saying House didn’t but House had the luxury of having a lot of that effort done before the war and subordinates to do so after. House is untouchable, something everyone wants in the Mojave, if not for the power, but because of the security. House takes that for granted seeing how easy he thinks it is to buy people. Benny, a Mojave native, has to be irate about that seeing how he has seen the heights and slums of both lives.
Also with the AIs it’s so telling because in a lot of ways, Yes Man has more autonomy than House’s major personality securitrons. Yeah, Yes Man has to be helpful but he’s aware and able to be snarky and coy. Benny has an issue with not being listened to but that’s the only perimeter Yes Man needs to act on. He can’t condescend but lord you can tell when he wants to. House’s AIs serves specific and highly detailed functions but are confined to act in accordance. They are subservient to a T and are extensions of House while Yes Man really is a creation that adapts further, hence his desire for the assertive upgrade. Benny made something, or at least was okay with a helper, that can progress for itself. House made things that replicate or facilitate an era of the past and don’t hold the power to contest it.
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theloveinc · 3 days
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Shinsou had a crush on you since like, young kids days and never thought you noticed him, but that was good cause maybe you thought he was a weird kid, so once he beefed up and finally got the confidence to talk to you it gets shut right tf back down when you're like "Of course i remember you!"
I don't know which part is worse............................ Shinso being so absorbed in his own supposed loser-hood in his youth that he essentially ignored you for 5-10 years while he was working out his self esteem issues ... or the fact that you not only DO remember him, berry well at that, but don't really think anything of it because you thought HE was kinda... a jerk for never being nice to you back.
(Cuz on one hand, you're so sweet, smiling at him when he approaches you, genuinely, just like you did back when you were both under ten and you'd smile at him from the other side of the park... but on the other hand, you don't hesitate to turn right back to your own friends after he barely manages to answer your "how have you been" question and you give him pity eyes like you still think he's a shy headass.
It's just... he doesn't want to fuck it up a second time and lose his momentum... but all the confidence he put into the moment deflated the second he realized you were even more beautiful and more kind than he remembered you and it got him tripping over his words)
ANYWAY then there's another 2-4 months of him trying to get your number just to be a fool over text before even managing to convince you he's worth a fucking damn LOL.
(And he is worth a damn, so much more than a damn because he's willing to give anything and everything up for you but... doesn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't scare you off for good...
Not to mention he's so fucking bad at texting. Yes, his dry humor is funny as hell but he's not trying to be funny with you, he's trying to WOO you and so the whole thing is just him making excuses to reach out to you even tho texting first for him is like plucking ass hair.)
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stupidrant · 1 month
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i think the most we will get is PC release (if that) this year but that means we gotta deal with those trolls bc changing angrb0da’s skin color is such a big deal to these mfs and i still dont understand that sweet baby inc shit bcuz all the information im seeing is just bundled bullshit LMFAOOO i feel like her actual character gets overshadowed by the made up problems and no one actually talks abt HER as a character or even analyses her fr (outside of here ofc) lol sms abt to make a banger with her and atreus istg
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magentagalaxies · 3 months
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#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit#like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to#and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much#i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event#(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!)#and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student#like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to#and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid#like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either#i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation#like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time#but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence#and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing#(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student)#and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event#so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!''#i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything#the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like#''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time''#and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!!#but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too.#i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point)#and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc#bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering)#2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person#but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks#i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be#because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!)#even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon
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mrsdulac · 2 months
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Finished Forspoken’s story last night and I still can’t believe I was betrayed by a fucking bracelet…
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tswwwit · 1 year
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Hey man me again, it’s nearly 3am and i was curious. What would theoretically happen if someone (say a human bully, or a lesser uninformed demon or smthn of the sort) were to put down and talk absolute shit about Dipper with the anticipation of Bill joining in and/or being impressed and agreeing cause here’s this super cool and sexy guy surely he also thinks Dipper’s a useless freak right? How would Bill take this kinda confrontation about his husband? Would his reaction vary depending on wether or not Dipper was there? (I lowkey think it would but I’m just a worm in a bait bucket uk) (also sorry this comes across like a fucking critical thinking question from a middle school textbook)
At best someone talking shit about Dipper gets a long lecture about all the reasons Dipper is way, way cooler than them! And some broken bones. That's Bill's husband, he picked a great partner, and he is not going to pretend otherwise for someone else's ego.
The rant's absent if Dipper's around, but frankly? It'd be better for the bully/demon if Dipper was around to hear someone dissing him to Bill. In that Bill would refrain from the most gruesome acts within his mortal's sight.
Though if they're smart, they'll notice the way Bill's looking at them, and take that brief amount of time to run.
#answers#Bill's less verbose about all of Dipper's positive traits within his hearing range#But then the same goes for Dipper#They don't often talk each other up within earshot#Dipper because fuck knows Bill's ego doesn't need more feeding#And Bill because he doesn't wanna look 'soft'#Yeah Bill. That's going Great for you isn't it#Considering the way you stomped on that bully's foot so hard his metatarsals shattered#Just because he tried to make a snide comment about Dipper to this 'cool guy'#Assuming that Bill would agree#Dipper has not missed the treatment of people talking shit about him#Perhaps sometime one of his former bullies pulled some crap. Typically bully stuff. Dipper got very tense and upset.#Only to watch Bill immediately shut that shit down with a quickness and vicious glee#And perhaps a splattering of blood#Bill gets kissed stupid afterwards for reasons *he* can't discern#But Dipper's wanted to do that. Do a Revenge. Resisted for moral reasons; gritted his teeth and tried to be the Better Person#And he's so so absurdly grateful that someone did it FINALLY#That there WAS Revenge and he didn't have to get his hands dirty#Dipper didn't have to muster the courage. Bill didn't even hesitate#And it was SO poetically delivered that Dipper has to mentally salute Bill for his ability for creative nastiness#Bill figures out WHY eventually. And then is very smug about it.#But in the moment he's just oh wow!! hey there!!! Didn't expect THAT from Dipper; usually he hates something so very plainly cruel#Don't catch Bill complaining; he's already trying to compile a list of targets that'll get this reaction again
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ocdhuacheng · 1 day
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I have… lots of thoughts on milsiril and kabru and the commentary on mixed-race family/adoption, in particular white parents with children of color. I think it’s really cool kui incorporated this into the story because lots of (particularly white) people just think adoption is this pure altruistic thing and don’t think about the negative affects it has on kids (again, kids of color) to not have people of their own culture to grow up with.
#I’m white so I can’t pretend this is something I am able to fully understand#and I feel like it’s not my place to write an essay on it? I’m sure poc could do it a lot better than me#but someone who is close to me is a poc in a kind of kabru adjacent situation#and I don’t want to give details bc this is personal and (obviously) not just to me so I don’t really want to talk about it too much#my point is. kabru ans milsiril just hit me really hard#I really love that kui made their relationship a relatively good one for the most part but she doesn’t just pretend it’s perfect#because it’s like. even if your parents are the best they can possibly be.l#if they don’t understand your culture that’s still a huge loss isn’t it?#and milsirils parenting skills….. definitely need a lot of work even if she means well#and the description of her adoptions as a ‘hobby’ makes it seem rather flippant imo#(not sure if that was just a translation thing tho)#but my impression is that kabru does still think of her fondly and is grateful for her taking him in and teaching him things#at the same time he does voice his frustrations about the cultural disconnect between them and her being ‘overprotective’#but yeah#like that kind of thing needs to be talked about I’m grateful that she not just doesn’t shy away from it but puts it in your face like that#.txt#dungeon meshi#oh also clarification#when I say kui talks about this stuff I do mean as an allegory#bc while I don’t think it is at all a coincidence that kabru is dark skinned and milsiril is white (coded?)#their skin color doesn’t really come into account here#it’s really the disconnect between elves and tall-men#but look me in the eye and tell me that’s not what she was going for
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sskk-manifesto · 6 days
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#Wow. Okay ♡#I love this episode. The animation is flawless. The drawings quality is out of the world for real.#I love this episode so much I'm so grateful so much care and dedication went to this sskk centered episode.#(Refraining to talk about what 5x03 could have been)#Sorry for repeating myself but seriously the illustrations this episode are so so pretty.#I rarely appreciate how Akutagawa is drawn in the anime but when it comes with this episode I really like how he looks too.#And Atsushi that I already like a lot in the anime on average‚ this episode is just fabulous. Handsome even.#Seriously I don't know who the animators are but I want to kiss them. This art style is one I dare say I like even more than Dead Apple–#that although is obviously more detailed is just... In comparison too rough for my personal taste?#The art style for this episode is very delicate and soft and I love it tons#And the directing is just great. No weird pacing or awkward ost choice. It's neat.#The reiterated placing ss/kk on opposite sides is neat. The lightening is likeable and especially the purple scene is super pretty.#The “don't compare me to him” scene is neat. The ss/kk final scene is AMAZING. It's gorgeous and stunning and awestriking and every other–#epitome in the world. It's like the only scene I believe turned out better in the anime that it is in the manga which is saying SO MUCH.#But it's really that good!!!!! My favourite anime ss/kk scene ever.#Aaaaaahhh please let me talk about it forever it's sooo pretty and especially poignant...#The heaven-like soft yellow light and how it contrasts with the bleak stormy background. But especially their softening features...#Man that scene. okay. Akutagawa's quiet surprise!!!! That scene is. Idk. Unfortunately chapter 88 exists–#but it's nearly the most romantic thing ever.#I'll leave it at this. It's not like the bsd animation suddenly became a masterpiece and this is still an episode–#I would say I like less than my least liked k/l/k episode (Trigger animation my beloved). But in comparison with the rest of the anime–#It's really bsd anime at its peak#random rambles#Aah peoples btw I'm probably going to spam ss/kk‚‚‚‚ a lot today. Apologies in advance unfollow me now etc. etc.
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ante--meridiem · 1 month
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I think advice like this is generally good and am aware that me complaining about it will probably be the "why doesn't your post account for my personal circumstances specifically, internet stranger?!" thing people love to make fun of, but nonetheless I can't help but feel bitter because "repeated positive low stakes interaction" for me has almost always fizzled out before it could deepen because the effort is just not worth the reward for either of us and pretty much all my significant friendships have been formed by (a) being approached by someone with enough confidence and extroversion to make "treating a stranger like a best friend" actually work or (b) instant familiarity because we're bonding over a shared interest and our enthusiasm over the topic is more important than how well we know each other or (c) quick recognition of each other as similar personality types and agreement to cut the bullshit and communicate in a way best suited to our type. And the tone of this type of advice always makes me feel like it's saying "the way you do friendship is wrong and you're wrong for thinking it could work, grow up". Which is uncharitable of me, I know op of that post is just trying to be helpful and has been helpful to many people reblogging the post! Still feel bitter about it though.
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nicistrying · 2 months
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I had a pleasant, dare I say almost fun time seeing my dad today and suddenly feel like I was just making up all the shit he's done lol
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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wantbytaemin · 6 months
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my god i just woke up from THE most detailed gentle and heartbreaking dream about jinki im in my bed like 😮 what was THAT
#so it was way too detailed for me to get into everything but it started with him being sad and like not wanting to speak to anyone#and i was sitting on the floor doing some writing & was like hi come here so he sat down like in between my legs and rested against me#i asked if he wanted to talk but he didn’t so i let it be and kept writing but couldn’t really focus#and then minho got there and was like ‘oh good he’s here’ and i was like what happened#and minho explained that like they were planning to do a world tour and album as shinee but jinki didn’t want to participate bc of the way#it was being handled#like there was a promo poster that was super insensitive towards jonghyun too#and a bunch of other things and then it flashed back to jinki filming a teaser for the tour and it was super intricate and too much for me#to type up right now but he looked so happy & smiley#like to make a point that he had wanted to be there until all the shit went down#and then it flashed back to me holding him and i stopped writing (or pretending to anyway) and just held him#there was no minho at that point and it felt like it was hours#and now i’m up and Shaken a little. not to be off the rails you’ll understand as I’m still affected by the dream but like it was so nice to#see him smile im still feeling the feeling like. relief and joy whew whatever he’s doing rn i hope he takes all the time in the world if he#needs/wants to & im grateful to have seen him smile even as a dream
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