#Kim having a flashback while making coffee

[oodlesodoodles]

[i-am-baechu]

Title: Think About Us

Paring: Kim Taehyung

Genre: Idol! Taehyung, stylist! reader, secret relationship! au, established relationship! au, infidelity! au, fluff (kind of), smut, and angst  

Summary:  Feeling like someone’s dirty secret wasn’t the greatest feeling but Y/N keeps telling herself that Taehyung loves her at the end of the day. Four years after being together, she tells him that she wants to tell his members that they’re together but he ignores this and tells her not yet. The member thinks she’s his cousin and tells her that he’s at the club with his friends like he always does on Saturday nights. She realizes that this could be the end of everything and finally sees her worth.

Warnings: Cheating, fighting, drinking, physical violence (slapping someone and pushing), self doubt, insecurity, fertility problems, flashbacks, angst, and sex scenes

Part of Little Mix's Mixtape series!

It was early in the morning, the type of morning that you would drink coffee with your partner watching the sunrise while holding each other. The type of morning where you cuddled in bed talking about the future. The yellow in the sky could bring darkness to shame and the sound of birds brought melodies throughout the neighborhood. Y/N L/N loved mornings because of the sunrise and the peace that she gets. The early mornings and late nights were the only times she saw her boyfriend, Kim Taehyung from the famous boy band, BTS. It's been four years and she hopes they can make it to their fifth year. Y/N wanted a normal morning but being with him, she knew she could never get that. No matter how hard she tried. 

“Come on, Y/N. Please.”

She sighed and shook her head into her pillow, “You promised me you would take me out for breakfast.” 

“I’ll do it tomorrow, come on.” 

No you won't, you always say that... “But I-”

“Y/N, I have to leave in an hour.”

She sighed and nodded her head, “Okay...”

He smiled at this and kissed her cheek making her glance over her shoulder to give him a small smile. He got out of bed and took off his clothes giving her a cheeky smile, “I’ll meet you in there.” 

She nodded her head and watched him enter the bathroom with the sound of running water being the only sound in the room. She sighed at this and slipped her shirt off slowly as she stared at the floor with a frown. She rubbed the back of her neck as she glanced up at the bathroom door with an emotionless look. How many times was this going to happen? All she wanted to do was to go out with her boyfriend because it's been a year since they went out. Sure they had lunch together inside their apartment and at the park but they were always hidden. She understood why he wanted to hide but it didn't feel like he wanted to try anymore but she was too scared to say anything. 

“Babe! Are you coming?” 

She sighed and slipped off her shorts, “I’m coming!” 

She walked over the clothes that were spread out on the floor knowing that she would be the one to clean it later but she ignored that. She opened the door and heard Taehyung humming softly in the shower. She opened the shower curtain and Taehyung gave her a small smile. He helped her in the shower and feeling the hot water going down her body made her feel at ease until she felt his hands on her. He started to squeeze her chest, kneading the fat gently making her moan softly. His fingers gilded swiftly to her nipples, rolling the sensitive bud under the water. She leaned against his chest letting him get a better view of her body and she knew he was giving her a smirk. She spread her legs a little, letting Taehyung erection slap against her wet slit. “Oh, Taehyung~.”  She let out a small moan as she was rubbing her clit directly onto his shafts.

“My baby.” Taehyung groaned, squeezing her tits tighter as he tried to hold himself back. She continued to grind their naked bodies together making her smile at the warmth she was feeling in her chest. She turned her head and she gave him a kiss. They were kissing with their eyes close with passion and she wondered if he felt the same sparks she felt when they kissed. She stole another kiss before mumbling against his lips, “You need to hurry, babe.” 

Taehyung nodded his head and guided the tip of his cock to her pussy. She rutted her hips back desperately but also because she knew his schedule. This caused his tip to push in the tight muscle, “Ah~!” 

“Fuck, Y/N.” 

She picked his hand up and placed it back on her tit. He squeezed her breast and let out a moan when she pushed her hips back onto him, slowly enveloping his whole cock into her pussy, “Fuck, Taehyung move.” 

“Bend over baby.”

Y/N leaned forward to rest against the shower wall, arching her back to give him the best angle to fuck into her, “Taehyung, please.” 

She moaned as she rolled her hips against him and Taehyung watched in awe as she fucked herself back on his cock. His hands immediately found the flesh of her round ass and guided her movements better. He let out a goan watching his cock disappear into her pussy, “You’re so beautiful.” 

He wrapped his fingers around her waist and began pounding into her, wanting to get it done fast, “Shit baby.” He leaned over slightly to reach between her legs and quickly found her clit and began roughly rubbing at it, earning moans from her.

“Right there~!” 

“Are you close? I feel you tightening up, tell me.”

“Yeah!” She squealed, face pressed against the shower wall as another moan came out when he thrusted into her roughly again. 

“Cum on my cock.” He groaned in pure bliss as she started shaking with his pussy spasming around his cock. He stilled his hips so he could relish in her pussy, squeezing uncontrollably around him but he kept rubbing her clit making sure her orgasm lasted every second. He watched catch her breathe again and tapped her back letting her know that he wanted to change positions. She slowly moved away from the wall and he hooked his hand under his knee and lifted her leg around her waist. 

“Hold on baby.” Taehyung mumbled as he pulled Y/N close to him as he possibly could, her perky tits hard nipples getting squished up against his chest as the water flowed between them. Taehyung was soon pounding into her again with no mercy. She buried her head into his neck, kissing and licking all over his neck and chest trying to get him to get done faster. 

“Fuck, Y/N~!” 

“Tae.” She whimpered into his neck, still holding on because she didn’t trust her legs anymore.

He rubbed her lower back and kissed the side of her head, “I’m gonna pull out, okay.” 

She nodded her head into his neck and he carefully pulled away from her, his cock sliding out and letting his cum leak out. He held her leg up so he could watch, licking his lips, “Fuck, you made me cum so much.”

She gave him a small smile and nodded her head at this. He gave her a boxy smile and put her leg down so he could her in for a quick kiss. They pressed their foreheads together and patted her butt gently, “Alright, I’ll see you tonight.” 

She nodded her head and watched him leave the shower, “I love you...”

“Yeah.” 

She heard the door close and she leaned against the shower wall letting the warm water hit her skin. At least with the water running down, she can’t see her tears. 

Y/N finished washing up and getting ready for her job. Y/N was a stylist for SM and she handled NCT 127 with the help of her assistant Kimberly. She loved her job and she created close relationships with all the members. She felt so happy at her job which was the opposite of how she felt when she was at home where she was supposed to feel her best. She zipped up her black jacket and walked out of the apartment with a irritated look because she had to clean up Taehyung’s mess in the bedroom and kitchen. She was used to it but for some reason today everything was getting to her. She got into her car and shut off the radio when she heard her boyfriend's song on the radio and she groaned when she heard his voice. She started to drive to the familiar building that felt like her second home in silence.

She parked her car in her spot and she headed into the building. She went to the coffee shop in the building and waited for her coffee to be made when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned her head and she smiled when she saw Mark Lee giving her a welcoming smile, “Hey you.”

“Good morning, noona. I wasn’t expecting you here so early. Is everything okay?”

“One of those mornings...just busy.” 

Mark nodded his head and took a sip of his water, “Was it because of your boyfriend?”

“Yeah...I mean I’m happy to be here now.”

Y/N told Mark that she had a boyfriend but she never told him who it was. All the fights she had with Taehyung and all the feelings she had been feeling were known by Mark. Mark was the first person she became friends with when she started working here and he admired her work ethic. Mark nodded his head and shook his head at this, “He didn’t say I love you?” 

“No, I honestly don’t remember when he said those words to me.” 

“Noona, that’s not good.” 

“He’s busy.” He's making another album and probably going to have another world tour leaving me alone, again.

“You don’t deserve to get treated like that noona. Maybe you should break up with him.” 

“I still love him...Let’s change the subject.” 

Later that day, she helped gather outfits for NCT’s next comeback and she didn’t get any texts from Taehyung. During her lunch, she waited for him at their restaurant that they always go to but he didn’t show up like he promised he would. She left the restaurant and didn’t bother to text him that she left because it was useless. Nothing was making her happy but she knew how to act happy around people. 

She returned home that night to see no one was home and she knew that Taehyung was staying late at the studios or at the dorm to get rest. She sighed to herself and went to the kitchen taking out a cake from the fridge with a frown. She placed the candles and lit them with a small smile but it didn’t make her feel any better, “Happy anniversary...” 

Y/N knew Taehyung during middle school and she formed a crush on him but she ignored it because a lot of girls were already trying to get him. She wasn’t popular nor was she a loner, she was just normal and someone like Taehyung didn’t need someone normal like her. After her father died from a sudden heart attack, she moved in with her neighbors who were good friends with her father because she didn’t have any family members left. She wasn’t expecting to see Taehyung at the house. Her father used to talk about their son all the time and how much he liked him but why did it have to be him. 

During their final years of middle school, Y/N and Taehyung grew closer. At first she thought it was because he pitied her for being an orphan but as time went on she realized she was wrong. He helped her with farming, homework and making more friends. He really made her life easier and it made her feel better. Her feelings grew deeper for him as the time went on but she never voiced it. It wasn’t until he went away to become an idol, something she was shocked to hear. They only really talked when he called home or visited and that was rare. Y/N moved away and started her job as a stylist for different companies, that's how she met Taehyung again. Four years ago, Taehyung confessed his feelings to her and she told him it was always him no matter what. It was a fairytale until it wasn’t. 

Two years ago, Taehyung cheated on her and it wasn't a one-time thing. It crushed her and what hurt the most, it was with one of her close friends back then. She’ll never forget walking in on him fucking her in their bed and her friend being shocked to see her. Apparently, Taehyung told her he was single and how Y/N was only his friend, she didn’t believe either of them because she told her about him. She tried to break up with him right there and then but he promised he would change and never do it again. She stayed with him because he reminded her of home and it felt safe and because Taehyung wouldn’t leave her alone. She remembered all the nice words her father would say about him and decided that it was a mistake. 

After that incident, it took awhile for her to be normal with him again because she didn’t trust him. He was disheartened with this but he understood why. Taehyung was doing everything in the book to gain her forgiveness, buying her flowers, expensive dates, jewelry, etc. They were never the same but they were close enough to make her feel at ease. To this day she still had space between them when they sat together or slept in the same bed together. Sometimes she couldn’t even look him in the eye because all she remember was him fucking the other girl. Everything was normal or somewhat normal until this year started. 

Taehyung was busy with his album and it made sense that he would see her less but the fear in her never left her body. It's been four years and she never met his bandmates or even been to his place of work because he always told her not yet. After four years, she felt like it was time to meet his bandmates or even see his work space because he's seen hers more than she can count. 

The morning after, she woke up in the living room with her makeup and work clothes still on. She sighed to herself and sat up on the couch rubbing her forehead roughly. She glanced at the kitchen and saw the cake half eaten and three empty bottles of wine on the counter. She shook her head and got up from the couch to stretch her body out the best she could and walked into their bedroom. She saw everything was untouched and she wondered if Taehyung slept better then she did. She took off her clothes and make-up off slowly as she stared at herself in the shower with an emotionless look. She looked horrible. 

She got dressed in her work clothes and put her hair up in a messy bun. At least last night she was sober enough to charge her phone in her bedroom. She turned on her phone and saw nothing on her lockscreen. No messages or calls from Taehyung, she scoffed at this and tossed her phone on the bed as she stared at the floor. She grabbed her pillow and helped it against her face as she let out a small scream making her feel better afterwards. She realized that she didn’t remember where she put her keycard for SM and got up from her bed to search for it. 

She opened up her nightstand and let out a annoyed sigh when she saw Taehyung’s headphones. She told him to move it a couple of days ago and of course, he didn’t listen. She picked them and headed towards his side with heaviness in each step. She opened up his nightstand but stopped when she saw a key ring that she has never seen before. She picked up the ring and tilted her head at it and saw an engraving in the key, The Grace Apartments. She dropped the key as if the key was on fire and it burned her hand. She stared at the key with a blank expression, why does he have this? 

Just then her phone started ringing but she couldn’t move right away. It wasn’t until she heard the fifth ring that she took the phone and answered it, “Hello?”

“Noona, I was just asking if everything is okay? It’s kinda late.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was looking for my keycard but I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Thank you for asking Mark.”

“Okay noona. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah...”

She heard the dial tone and she tossed the phone back on the bed. She turned her head back to stare at the key with a blank expression again. She lifted the key again and continued to stare at it. She grabbed her phone and took a picture of the key as she tossed it back in the nightstand and slammed it shut. She stared at the black wood and shook her head. She walked away and she saw her lanyard sticking out under her bed. She quickly grabbed it and basically ran away from the room and into her car. She covered her mouth as nothing came out of her eyes, she was too shocked to cry. She started her car again and kept it silent, that's what she needed at that moment. 

She didn’t even remember driving there nor did she remember entering her office. She sat in her chair and stared at the wall with a blank expression. She took her phone out of her pocket and stared at the picture of the key and tried to make an excuse for him but nothing. She quickly snapped out of it when she saw Kimberly enter with a smile, “Good morning, Y/N.” 

She quickly smiled at the girl and put her phone facing down, “Good morning Kimberly. How was your morning?” 

“It was good. My husband made me breakfast in bed because he forgot our date last night.”

She gave a fake smile and then took a sip of her spiked coffee, “That’s really cute. Can I ask a question?” 

“Of course.”

“Your friend found a key in her boyfriend's nightstand. What would you think?”

Kimberly went to her desk and set her coffee down with a confused look. She looked back at her with a raised eyebrow, “I would assume he's cheating. Is your friend okay?” 

“She will be. Now, let's get to work.” 

An hour later, Taehyung texted her that he wanted to have lunch with her and she glared at her phone. Should she go? What was the point of going? Maybe the key was for work and it was nothing to worry about. He promised her that he would never hurt her again and she takes promises seriously. She sighed to herself and texted him back a simple okay. She got up from her desk and headed to a dance studio to see Seulgi practicing. She turned around and gently waved at her and she returned it, “Seulgi…I.”

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

The moment that question left her lips, tears came down her face. She started to sob and brought her hands up to face covering it and she heard rushed footsteps. All of a sudden, she was engulfed in warmth and she nuzzled into it. Seulgi was rubbing her back gently as they rocked back and forth. They stood like that for a couple of minutes until Y/N felt calm again. She pulled away and took a deep breath. Seulgi brought her jacket sleeve up and wiped away her tears making her smile a little, “Y/N, what happened?”

The two girls sat in the dance room as Y/N told Seulgi everything. From start to finish, she didn’t want to hide Taehyung’s wrong doings anymore, “- I just don’t know what to do…”

Seulgi nodded her head and continued to rub her back gently, “Maybe you should ask him about the key or you could always look up the apartments.”

Y/N glanced up at Seulgi who was giving her a serious look, “Look up the apartments? Isn’t that crossing a line.”

“Y/N, Taehyung cheated on you and basically forced you to stay with him. That’s crossing the line.”

Y/N nodded her head and looked at the floor as fresh tears came to her eyes, “I’m so weak…”

“No you're not. Don’t ever say that. Go out to lunch with him and see if he’s acting different. You know him better than anyone.“

“Do I? He cheated on me, something I never thought he would do.”

“Y/N, go to lunch and just ask some questions. Like how’s work or how’s the dorms. You need some answers…maybe after lunch you should do an investigation.” 

“I’ll think about it. Okay, I’ll go to lunch and I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.”

Seulgi nodded her head and patted her back, “You should tell Mark. You know how much he admires you and he would basically do anything for you.”

“I’ll tell him after lunch.” 

Usually a person going on their lunch break would be a god sent but this time it was choking her. She drove in silence to the restaurant they always go to and she parked the car. She sat in the car for what seemed like hours but quickly shook her head to go inside. She put her hair in a ponytail and took a deep breath again. She looked at herself in the mirror and practiced her fake smile. When she felt like she achieved the smile she wanted, she got out of her car. She walked into the restaurant and her eyes landed on the back of his head and everything stopped for her. 

Taehyung watched her cry on the couch and it was a sound that he has never heard before from her. She covered her face with her hands as her shoulders moved up and down. It's been a month since Y/N witnessed him cheating on her and it was becoming clear to him that she wasn’t just going to forgive him. She moved her hands from her face and turned towards him with a hard glare, “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“I was just worried about you crying...” 

She scoffed at this and got up from the couch heading towards the kitchen with Taehyung right on her tail. She took out some wine glass and poured some wine in the glass as he watched with a fearful look. She gulped down the cup and poured another glass. Seeing her gulp another glass Taehyung rushed into the kitchen and snatched the wine bottle out of her hand causing her to glare at him. She pushed him away from her causing her to drop her glass on the floor, shattering everywhere. He glanced at the broken glass and then back at her face. He felt the heat from her glare and set the wine bottle on the counter. 

“Y/N-”

“Don’t.”

She looked up at the ceiling as she felt more tears coming down her face. She let out a small laugh and looked back at him, “I did so much for you. I-I...Why did you cheat? Was it because I couldn’t do your breeding kink or have fucking kids? Was it because I’m broken and you thought it was easy to just fuck someone else to have your dream family forgetting me in the process. YOU’VE KNOWN SINCE WE WERE TEENAGERS THAT I COULDN’T HAVE KIDS....you-you said it was okay because you loved me...What changed?” 

As she said her speech, Taehyung looked down and shook his head, “It had nothing to do with that...”

“Then what was it?”

“I-I just need to let out some steam.”

She scoffed at this and looked down at the floor before looking back at him, “You did it multiple times.” 

“You were busy-”

“So, it’s my fault that you fucked one of my friends?”

Taehyung sighed at this and walked up to her slowly and carefully. She watched him move closer to her and he opened his arms to hug her but she wasn’t going to let him do that. She brought her hand up and slapped him across the face but he didn’t seem fazed from it. She pushed him away and walked away, “The fact that you think you can just fucking hug me and try to fix it like that.”

“Y/N, I told you I would never do it again. Please.” 

He ran out to the living room to see her sitting back on the couch with her hands on her face. He walked up to her and kneeled down on the ground as she cried in front of him. She didn’t bother to look up at him and he accepted that, “I, Kim Taehyung, will never hurt you like this again. Please give me a chance.” 

She looked up from her hands and stared at him, “You think you can just apologize and make this okay?”

“Y/N, just give me a chance.”

She scoffed and shook her head, “Why are you with me? You cheated on me...do you love me?”

“I love you...Please, please give me a chance.” 

“Y/N!” 

She quickly whipped her head to see Taehyung walking up to her with his black mask on his face. Covering his identity from everyone around him and she wished she could do the same right now. She gave him a gentle wave and let him hug her but she didn’t return the hug. She opted on patting his back, something he didn’t really pick up. He intertwined his fingers with hers and walked to the back room where they always ate because no one could see them. 

He pulled out her chair and she gave him a small smile as she sat down. He sat down across from her and pulled down his mask to take a sip of his water, “I ordered your favorite.”

“Oh? What did you do?”

He let out a small chuckle and shook his head at this, “I did nothing, I just missed you.”

Liar. She let out a small cough and smiled at him, “I missed you too...You didn’t come home last night. Do you remember what yesterday was?”

He nodded his head slowly and took out red roses from under the table making her gasp, “I’m so sorry, I was tired from practice and recording that I left my phone in the studio and Yoongi actually found it for me. I passed out at the dorms, Y/N, I’m sorry.” 

She took the flowers and a real smile was put on her face when she smelled the flowers, “I love them, I keep telling you to stop losing your phone.” 

He let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I know but I have another surprise for you.” 

“Oh? What is it?” 

He reached in his pocket and brought out a necklace, it was a simple chain with a heart charm with the date they met. Her heart swelled at the gift and took it. She looked up at him and smiled, “Taehyung...”

“I know you hate jewerly but I wanted to do this for you because I love you so much.” 

She nodded her head and leaned forward placing a small kiss on his lips. She took the black box from his hand and smiled at the heart charm before looking back at him, “I love it.” 

During the meal, Taehyung acted normal. Holding her hand while she ate, feeding her food and kissing her whenever he had the chance. She took another bite of her food and watched him glance at his phone and her smile drop. She watched a smirk form on his face and she looked away because it gave her an uneasy feeling. It was the same smirk he gave her whenever she wore something sexy. She put her phone in her purse and turned towards him with a small cough, “I have to go...”

“Oh, already?” 

She nodded her head and took a sip of her water, “Sorry, work called.”

He nodded his head and leaned forward giving her a kiss on her forehead, “I’ll see you tonight.” 

“Yeah...bye, love you.”

“See you.”

She nodded her head and walked away, trying her best to hold in her tears. She sat in her car and she tried her best to make her breathing normal. She picked up her phone and called the one person she knew who would listen to her.

“Noona?”

“I-I think...I think he’s cheating on me again, Mark.” 

That night was filled with Y/N talking to Mark and her waiting for Taehyung. She wanted to give him another chance before she made the decision of looking into his wrongdoings. Taehyung never came home that night and told her that she had to stay overnight to re-do some recordings. The moment she saw those typed out words, she knew it was a lie. It was the same lie he would use two years ago to her and she wasn’t the same girl. She called Mark and told him the full truth about her relationship aka who she was dating. Mark was shocked to hear that Kim Taehyung was a huge asshole that didn’t deserve anything in his life as his senior. 

Y/N and Mark sat in the cafe as Y/N just sat there with a blank face, “I feel like...I always knew it would happen again.” 

Mark shook his head and grabbed her hand, rubbing her knuckles gently with his thumb, “You don’t know if he's cheating.” 

“He probably is...I mean I get it...I barely want myself. It’s all his fault, he made me feel like a worthless piece of shit and I stuck with him because I fucking love him. How stupid...” 

Mark shook his head again when he saw small tears forming, “You just love him so much...I’ll help you look up the apartment or whatever you need me to do. I want you to find the answer.” 

She nodded her head and looked at him with a determined look, “I need to know the truth...even if it hurts me. I need to know.”

She went home and sat in the empty living room with a blank expression. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the couch and she started crying. Tears ran down her face ruining her makeup but she didn’t care. If she was getting cheated on again then that just shows how unloveable she was. What was wrong with her that made her so unwanted? She gave everything to him and now she was sitting alone in the living room. She got up from the couch and walked into the bathroom ignoring her reflection. She quickly stripped out of her clothes and went in the shower and let the water hit her face. 

The warm water hit her body and it was giving her the warmth that she needed at that moment. She sat on the shower floor and brought her knees up to her chest. She put her face in her knees and started sobbing into them. Her cries echoed through the room as she tried her best to hug herself to make her feel better but it wasn’t working. She sat in the shower for hours and she finally shut off the water but she didn’t get out. She needed a moment to process everything but it wouldn’t make a difference for her life right now. 

Another lonely morning but this time Y/N had a game plan in mind. She asked for the day off and she was happy that she got it for once. She laid on her bed and searched up the apartment and she saw that it was in a private part of Seoul. It was expensive looking, more expensive than the apartment that they were living in now. Taehyung texted her that morning that he wouldn’t be home again because of his busy schedule and she took this as the go ahead to go to the apartments. She grabbed the keys from his nightstand and headed in his car that he left because he got a ride from the company. She entered the car and stared at the backseats with a frown, what happened if he fucked someone in the backseat? Would he do that? 

She shook her head and started the car to head down to the apartments. The drive there was two hours away, making her realize it would take him at least three hours to come to their place if he was going back and forth. She parked his car on the street and stared at the apartment and was amazed with how it looked. It was more beautiful in person and that made her angier. She looked at the front desk and took a deep breath before going up to them. 

“Umm...excuse me?” 

The lady looked up and gave her a small smile, “How can I help you?” 

“My friend gave me his key to check his apartment but he didn’t tell me where it was. Can you help me?” 

“Of course, just give me the key and I’ll look it up for you.” 

She nodded her head and took the keys out of her pocket. She glanced down at the keys and gave it to the lady with a wide smile. She watched the last go in the back and smile dropped. This was the moment that she would find out the truth, if he truly was living a double life. She felt so stupid in the moment. She felt like a stage light was shining on her while everyone was laughing at her. She let the butterflies of being in love take over and she didn’t even notice the ice coming down, ready to stab her at any given  moment. It felt like hours waiting for her to come back and she remembered the day that she walked in on Taehyung that day. She was feeling the same pain in her chest today…

It was Taehyung’s birthday and Y/N baked him a cake. She was running late because of a meeting but Taehyung told her it was okay. She baked the cake at Mark’s place and was excited for him to see it. She also got him some pins for his bag that was Van Gogh inspired.

She took the cake and the small bag that held the pins from her passenger seat with excitement and was off. She walked in the lobby and saw that the elevator wasn’t working, making her frown. She headed to the stairs and quickly headed up the sixth floor but it was hard when she barely had energy. When she got the door she placed the cake on the floor and tried her best to unlock the door silently, to surprise him. 

She opened the door and the smile that she had on her face dropped when she saw black high heels staring back at her. She dropped the cake to the floor and continued to stare at the heels. She looked out into the living room and saw no one but she heard soft music playing somewhere. She closed the door and tried her best to hold in her tears because whatever she was going to see was going to tear her apart. 

She slowly moved into the place she called home with hesitation. The place that made her feel safe was now choking her as she just cried letting it happen. The music was getting louder and she knew it was in their bedroom. She clenched her chest as she started breathing heavily because her body just wanted to breakdown.

She stood outside her door and she heard creaking and moaning. She stood outside the door, frozen. What the hell was she going to do? What was she going to say? None of those questions were answered because she slammed opened the door and the sight made her feel sick. 

There he was, the love of her life fucking her close friend from college. They both stopped moving and looked at Y/N with pure shock. Her friend gasped and covered her mouth, “O-oh, Y/N, I-I…”

Y/N continued to stare but her eyes landed on Taehyung who was looking right at her. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. They were fucking in their bed. He didn’t even have the courtesy to fuck in the guest room. She shook her head and tossed the small bag of pins at his face and turned around. Everything around was silent and she didn’t even hear their pleas, not that she wanted to hear. She grabbed her shoes and didn’t bother to put them on and left.

Y/N looked to see the women returning the smile at her, “It’s on the top floor, the first door on your right.”

That confirmed everything for her. She took the keys from her hand and gave her another smile, “Thank you so much, have a nice day.”

“Likewise.”

She walked to the elevator and pushed the floor she needed and watched the doors close. As soon as they closed, she covered her mouth letting out a loud sob from her mouth. She didn’t know how to feel and she didn’t know what she was going to do when she entered the apartment. What would happen if his mistress was living there? 

She shook her head and slapped her cheeks lightly. No matter what happens, she’s doing this for herself. When she heard the soft ding, it solidified her future. She walked out and everything felt slow to her. The dark wood stared at her, calling out to her as if they knew something she didn’t. She stood in front of the door and quickly unlocked it. She opened the door and she was met with a normal apartment but the smell of artificial flowers hit her nose. She hated the smell of artificial flowers.

In the past week, she’s only seen Taehyung twice because of how “busy” he was. She only texted him in the morning and at night so he didn’t pick up anything that was wrong. She told Mark that she confirmed the apartment was his because she saw a painting that she gifted him hanging on the wall and she saw his shoes at the front. When she told him, she wasn’t upset nor did she cry, she was just blank. It didn’t confirm that he was cheating on her but it did confirm that he was doing something. Why would he need another apartment when he had one with his girlfriend? It just didn’t feel right, it was clear he was hiding something. 

Y/N sat in the cafe staring down at the table with her coffee next to her. Mark just left after they had talked about Taehyung’s secret apartment and she should bring it up to him. She finished her coffee and continued to stare with a blank expression. She scoffed when she thought about Taehyung and how he would tell her that she was the one. Lies. That’s all they were to her. She gave him everything but she was never enough for him and she doesn’t think she will ever be enough. She got up from her table and walked towards the trash and stood there for awhile, thinking to herself. She needs to talk to someone that was close to Taehyung, someone who wasn’t her. She then realized there is someone who knows him more than she did, Jimin. Without thinking she rushed out of the cafe. 

She knew where the building was and continued to run down the street, dodging everyone. She just kept running, ignoring the strange looks from strangers because in this moment nothing matter but her talking to Jimin. She entered the building with the code Taehyung told her about years ago and entered. The building wasn’t welcoming at all to her and she didn't know if it was the black walls or because she knew Taehyung works here. She shook her head and walked up to the front desk as the lady looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “Can I help you?” 

“I’m Y/N L/N-”

“Oh, okay. Are you looking for Taehyung?”

She raised her eyebrow at this and slowly nodded her head, “Yes I am...”

“He’s not here right now but the rest of the members are in the dance room on the second floor. The room number is 230.” 

She nodded her head and said her small thanks but was still confused about the interaction. She has never met anyone from Bighit nor his group members but for some reason the front desk knew her name. She entered the elevator with an uneasy feeling in her chest, it was making her sick. She covered her mouth as her chest felt heavy. Why do they know her? It has to be for good a reason and maybe they know her as his partner and he wasn’t ready to have her meet them. Maybe he wanted to prove himself to her and then do it. She hated it when she tried to be optimistic. 

She walked down the hall and it felt like it kept getting longer in her head but she kept pushing herself. She stood in front of the door and her body stopped. What will she find out? Taehyung is going to be mad at her for going to his workplace but she doesn't care. She knocked on the door and heard a soft, come in. 

She opened the door and bowed her head to see the members on the floor with sweat dripping on their foreheads. They looked at her with confusion which makes sense because they have never seen her or at least that’s what she thinks. She gave them a smile and nervously played with her fingers, “Hello…my name is Y/N L/N.”

Jimin’s confused face quickly changed into a smile and got up to greet her, “Oh, your Taehyung’s cousin. He talked about you all the time, it’s crazy to only now see you.”

Cousin. The word stabbed her heart and then when that wasn’t enough it sliced her in half. The sweat on her forehead increased but she gave him a soft smile, “That's good to hear that he talks about me…I was wondering where he was. I haven’t heard from him and we were supposed to hang out…it’s been awhile since I saw him.” That part wasn’t a lie and she felt horrible that she lied to him but she had to. She needed to know more about everything.

“Oh, Tae, he’s at his friends place and then tomorrow he’s going to the club.”

She choked on her spit and looked at Jin with a shocked look, “Club?”

“Yeah, he does it every Saturday.”

She nods her head and wipes her hands on her jeans before giving them another fake smile, “How long has he been doing that? Usually we go to the club together…”

“For about a year now.”

Another blow to the heart and she nodded her head, “What’s the club called?” 

“It’s called Wasabi. You know the popular one near Grace apartments. Convenient for him because that’s where he lives, lucky dude.”

She nodded her head at this and Yoongi tilted his head at her, “Are you okay?”

“I’m...I’m okay. Thank you for asking. Does he have a girlfriend?”

Jungkook smirked at this and nodded his head, “There’s this girl that he's been talking to us about lately. I think he's going to ask her out soon.”

That motherfucker. “Alright, thanks. I’ll pay him a visit later. I’ll see you guys later, maybe. I don’t know…have a good one, bye.”

She bowed her head at them again and left as fast as she could. She knew it but at the same time she didn’t. She wanted to believe that he was better, She wanted to believe that he was the same boy that her father loved, and most importantly she wanted to believe that he loved and respected her. All the hopes she had slapped her in the face and now she’s the fool for everyone to laugh at. How could he do this to her? Embarrassed her in-front of his band mates, even though they don’t know, she knew the truth. She sat in her car and all the sadness she felt was now pure fiery anger. He really thought he was going to play her as the fool. Not this time, she will have the last word. 

Before she went in her car she ripped off her necklace that Taehyung gifted her and slammed it on the ground. She stared at the necklace and started stomping on it as hard as she could. After a few minutes she stopped and looked at the broken gift with a blank expression. She thought it would make her feel better but she felt nothing. She got in the car and hit her head on the steering wheel as she let out a loud scream in her car. As she let out a scream and a tear went down her face, she was going to get him back, somehow. 

“Taehyung, stop.” 

He sat there next to her with all the texts he sent to the other girl for her to see. He wanted her to trust him again, so he thought by showing all the messages it can start the healing process. She thought otherwise. It felt like he was mocking her or even showing her what she couldn’t do. She felt belittled at that moment. She glared at the phone and turned to the side of the bed with her back towards him.

“Y/N, I want yo-”

“Why? So I can see the shit you say to women that’s not me? What the hell is wrong with you that you think that’s logical?” 

Taehyung sighed and locked his phone as he stared at the cream colored blanket, “I just want your trust back.”

“Taehyung, it’s only been two months. It’s not going to come back because you want it. I need time, you're lucky I’m with you still.” 

“I know that but I just thought if you looked at my messages-”

She sat up in her bed and stared at him with a glare, “Then that doesn’t make me any better than you. Actually, that would make me worse.” 

Taehyung shook his head at this and looked at her, “What can I do to make you trust me again?”

“Give me fucking time. Stop pressuring me to trust you again. It’s getting annoying now.”

“Y/N, I love-”

“Don’t. I can’t hear that right now. I’m going to bed, please just...leave me alone.” 

She drove home that night expecting it to be empty but was met with Taehyung having a meal on the table. He turned towards her with a wine glass in hand and that boxy smile that used to make her heart flutter but now it just angers her. She couldn’t let him know that she knew anything, so a smile can tell so many lies. 

She walked closer and he wrapped his arms around her waist as she did the same. He looked down at her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head, “I got your favorite.”

“Oh? What’s the occasion?”

Taehyung set the glass on the table and rubbed his hands together, “I have a business meeting and I can’t make it to our date.”

Liar. “Oh…that’s a pity. I’ll probably ask Irene or Seulgi to come over then.”

“I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s alright. I’ll do something fun with them or even by myself.” 

He smiled at this and pushed her chair out for her, “I love you.”

I hate you. “I love you too…”

The rest of the night was Taehyung being cuddly with her as she sat there with a blank expression. He didn’t pick up that she wasn’t in the mood and that just showed how he truly didn’t care about her. She laid in the bed with her eyes wide open and she knew Taehyung thought she was sleeping. She kept seeing light flashing from his phone from the ceiling and shook her head to herself. How could he just text someone else in their bed? No respect whatsoever. 

The next night, Y/N looked at herself in the mirror with a smile. It’s amazing what sequins can do. It hides the sadness and lets the person truly shine, even if they aren’t confident. She made a plan to go to the club and see Taehyung in the act. She knows that he's doing wrong but she needs to see it with her own eyes. It’s stupid to think but for her own sanity she needs to see it. She put her hair up in a ponytail and smiled at the appearance, she felt strong in this dress. If that made sense. 

She heard the music outside of the bathroom door and washed her hands one more time before going out. She dried them off and set off. There were so many people, dancing so close to each other. How could this appeal to anyone? Girls drinking and grinding on guys, she knew why Taehyung liked this place so much. She walked towards the bar and asked for a whiskey to gain more confidence. She finished her drink and walked deeper in the crowd of people. Everyone was dancing and the loudness was hurting her chest but she couldn’t tell if it was the beats or her heart. 

She started to sway back and forth to the music to make it look like she belonged there. She looked around and her eyes saw a group of girls in the corner. She walked closer to the group and she heard girls squealing and tapping each other on their shoulders. 

“I can’t believe he’s here.”

“I know, there were rumors that he came to this club but I didn’t think much of it.”

She knew she was in the right place. She moved through the girls as fast as she could, ignoring the glares. She was towards the front but she was still hidden away. There he was, in all his glory. He was sitting on the dark red velvet couch with his arm over the shoulders of a girl. She wished it was a random girl but no it was the same girl she saw in her bed all those years ago. She scoffed at this and took her phone out, quickly taking multiple pictures of the new couple and left the circle with a blank expression. 

Y/N and Taehyung sat together in a restaurant and things were slowly going back to normal. Y/N sat at the table in her dark red silk dress while Taehyung was in a black suit. They were celebrating her promotion and she was so excited that Taehyung did this for her. It’s been almost a year since Taehyung cheated on her and slowly she was trusting him again. Taehyung put his glass up making her smile at him, “Congratulations love. You deserve it.”

She picked up her glass and nodded her head, “Thank you-”

Before she could say anything she watched him look over shoulder making her turn her head. There she saw the girl sitting with her tits out sitting with an older man making her scoffed. She stood up from her table and Taehyung looked at her with shocked eyes, “Y/N?”

“Why is it so hard to ask for attention? Did you know she was going to be here? Tell me, now.”

Taehyung looked down at the table and pure silence was all she got. She shook her head and grabbed her purse. She walked out of the restaurant with tears running down her face. For once could it be about her.

She went straight to the bar and asked for another whiskey with a frown. She rubbed her forehead with disgust, how could she be so stupid. She downed the drink as fast as she could and stared at the empty glass with a blank expression. It wasn’t until she felt someone next to her and she looked to see a handsome man giving her a smile. She returned the smile and looked back at her glass.

“You look sad...Is everything okay?”

She sighed and looked at the man with a lopsided smile, “I guess everything is okay. Finding out the truth hurts but it's better to know...” 

The man nodded his head at this and looked down at his fingers, “The truth may hurt but a lie can cause pain that's unimaginable.” 

She nodded her head and looked at him with a real smile now, “Yeah but I think people lie because they think they're protecting the person they're lying to. It's selfish of them.”

“Agreed. People can be so selfish, it's disgusting to see how selfish someone can be.” 

“I’m Y/N.” 

“I’m Kevin, wanna get out of here?” 

She looked down at her glass and then back at him with a smirk, “Yeah, fuck it.” 

Kevin gently grabbed her hand and the two made their way to his car and he opened the door for her. Before he closed it, he took out a pack of tissue from his jacket pocket. She looked at him with a confused look, “What’s this for?” 

“You had some tears on your face...Whatever happened in there I want you to know, you don’t deserve it.”

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “You don’t know me...”

“No one deserves to cry especially in the club.” 

The drive was comfortable which was shocking to her. Kevin Jeon was visiting Seoul for his friend's wedding next week and he was the best man. She learned that he was from Wales and he went to college in Seoul. She was so fascinated by him that it scared her how fascinated she was towards him. She felt the car stopped and she looked outside the window and was surprised to see they went to a restaurant. She was expecting to go to his house but she could use some food. 

“I hope this is okay...I heard about this restaurant through a friend and I thought it would be good to try.” 

She nodded her head and smiled, “Honestly food sounds amazing right now.” 

“I think it's amazing being with you at this moment.” 

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “That was so cheesy.”

“Yeah it wasn’t my best but it made you laugh so, I won.” 

“I guess you won.”

He got out of his car and she was about to open her door but was stopped when he opened it for her. He gave her a charming smile and she looped her arm through his and they walked into the restaurant. She looked up at him and felt her chest flutter, something she missed having. He was handsome, smart, charming and best of all, he wasn’t Taehyung. 

The two sat at a table and she took her phone out to see Taehyung messaged her that he loved her. She stopped herself from rolling her eyes and sent the picture of him with his new girlfriend, I love you too :). She silenced him and put down her phone to give Kevin a smile, if he was having fun then she should be having fun too.

“So, Kevin…what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a reporter. I mostly interview celebrities and you know get the latest rumor.”

She nodded her head and took a sip of her water, “How about I tell you a story?”

Kevin raised his eyebrow and slowly nodded his head in curiosity, “Sure.”

She smiled at this and took her phone out to show him the picture, “That’s Kim Taehyung…my ex boyfriend. He cheated on me.”

“Oh wow…I’m sorry…that explains a lot. How you were acting at the club.”

“Yeah…I want to ruin him… can you help me?”

Kevin dropped her off at her apartment that night and she packed some of her things to go to Irene’s apartment for awhile. Taehyung wasn’t going to see her and try to say his sorrys, he doesn’t deserve it. She sat in her office and glanced at the picture with a frown. She felt like he didn’t get enough pain from this. The only thing he got was another apartment because she was moving out and that didn’t feel right. 

She watched Kimberly type away at her desk and she glanced back at the picture, “Hey, Kim.”

“Yes boss?”

“I’m going to go somewhere. Tell everyone I won’t be back until the late afternoon.”  

She nodded her head at this and continued to type, “Is it a meeting?”

“You can say that.” 

She grabbed her purse and most importantly her phone. She continued to make her way out of the building with a big smirk on her face. She was tired of being the only one hurt in this relationship, it was time for Taehyung to be hurt. She entered the building with a new found confidence that she never thought she would have. 

She took her phone out and texted Kevin, I’m here 

She waited in the waiting room and looked up to see Kevin in a nice black suit giving her a gentle smile, “Hey”

She gave him a small smile and waved her hand at him, “I’m ready to tell my story.”

He smiled at her and nodded his head, “That son of a birch deserves it. After everything you told me yesterday, I’m sorry I kept asking questions. It was inappropriate. My company will compensate you depending on what you have so you won't have to rely on him anymore. ”

She shook head at this and returned the smile, “No, I appreciate you caring Shall we?” 

Y/N stared at him with wide eyes with her mouth open, “What did you just say to me?”

Taehyung looked down at his feet and let out a soft fuck, “Y/N, I didn’t mean it.”

“Fuck you, Taehyung. I can’t believe you fucking said that.” 

Y/N went to walk away but Taehyung grabbed her wrist stopping her from leaving the bedroom, “Y/N, I was just mad...” 

“Why the fuck are you mad? I should be mad. First, you cheated on me and now you're insulting me because of my fertility issues.” 

“Y/N, FUCK I DIDN’T MEAN IT.” 

“IT DOESN’T MATTER YOU FUCKING SAID IT!”

She ripped her wrist out of his hand and walked away from him leaving him there with a desperte look. He ran towards her and stopped her from leaving the apartment, “Let me go.” 

“No, Y/N I didn’t mean it.” 

“You called me useless...All because I fucking told you I didn’t want to go on a date with you.” 

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” 

She shook her head, “The trust that we were slowly building is now gone...Let me go, I need to go. I need to be away from you.” 

“Y/N, please.” 

Before she opened the door, she turned towards him with a sad smile, “That’s why you cheated...because I can’t give you what you want. Just let me go if you don’t love me anymore, don’t string me along.”

“Y/N, it's not like that...”

“STOP SAYING THAT! I’m going away for awhile, don’t call me.” 

Y/N sat in Kevin’s office and gave him a small smile, “I want to be known as his cousin but I don’t want my name to be known.”

“Of course, I can make that happen.” 

“Thank you Kevin, I needed this…”

“I don’t want you to feel pressure...are you sure you want this to happen? It’s going to change everything for you.” 

She looked down at her feet and took a deep breath thinking to herself. She looked up at him and gave him a small nod, “Yes...The fact he thought he could do this in public and thought he could get away with this...it's humiliating. I was just his secret, I was never the truth for him. I was basically his lie in his life.” 

Kevin gave her a sad smile and nodded his head, “Where do you want to start?”

“The beginning.” 

The week after her meeting with Kevin, she felt more confident with her plan. She looked at her phone with a smirk while she sat in her office. Kim Taehyung was seen at Wasabi with a mystery woman but his cousin says he already had a partner and is cheating on her. Multiple pictures of him at the club have been circulating since this morning and the club confirmed that he was at the club. The once heartthrob and sweetheart of Bts has now been turned into the villain of someone’s else’s story. We will keep you updated.

She put her phone on her table as she watched Mark running up to her with a shocked face, “I can’t believe you told them.”

“I wanted him to feel pain. It wasn’t fair that I had all the pain while he was going out and doing whatever he wanted.” 

“This could ruin his career. You know that?”

“Yeah, it feels good.”

Mark nodded his head and gave a smirk, “That bastard deserves it.”

“I know he does but why do I feel bad...” 

Mark shook his head and grabbed her hand, “You did this for you.”

“I know but...I feel guilty.”

“Nonsense, I have a shooting. I’ll see you later.” 

She waved at him and felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She took her phone out and saw that Taehyung was calling her. Her eyes widened at this and took a deep breath and answered, “Hello?” 

“Hello? That’s all you can fucking say to me Y/N!”

“Yes, you called me and I answered it.” 

“Why the fuck where you in the club?”

She scoffed at this and shook her head, “That’s what you say to me. Not, I was cheating on you with the same girl I cheated on you two years ago. Oh no, it’s my fault.”

“I wasn’t cheating on you…”

“Shut the fuck up, Jungkook told me you talked about her to the guys. Oh, I’m your fucking cousin.” 

“Fuck. Y/N listen, I…I love you okay.” 

“Fuck you.”

She hung up the phone and tossed it on the table. She rubbed her forehead and shook her head at her feelings. Did she make a mistake by doing this? 

She bought a new apartment, it was everything she needed for the time being and she didn’t care about location at the moment. The only thing on her mind was getting away from Taehyung. It’s been two weeks and the media hasn’t calmed down like how bighit expected. The girl came out and confirmed everything, she was the other woman but she loved Taehyung. She admitted this in a live interview and the company had to work fast. Taehyung issued an apology and admitted to everything. He admitted he cheated on his partner and how disgusting he felt but she knew that part was a lie.

It was announced yesterday that Taehyung was going to take a break. They never said for how long but a lot of fans were saying they hoped it wasn’t forever. She walked inside her old home and there he was, sitting on the couch with bottles of wine around him. Shocking her because she knew he didn’t really drink that much. 

“Y/N…How could you do this to me?”

She scoffed at this and went inside the bedroom ignoring him, following her, “You deserve it.” 

“You ruined my career.”

“Well, you ruined my life. You ruined my self confidence, my trust, my mental health and just me as a person. You deserve some pain, you fucking asshole.”

Taehyung shook his head and looked back at her, “Are you really breaking up with me?”

She scoffed at this and put her last pair of clothes in a box, “Yes, I am. You don’t deserve me. Everyone thought you were this perfect guy when in reality you're not. You're far from perfect and honestly that didn’t matter to me. I let my love for you brainwash me and I fucking stayed with you when you cheated on me because deep down I wanted to know you were good. Everyone makes mistakes and me going back to you was the biggest one in my life.”

Taehyung stood there in shock and shook his head, “You thought our relationship was a mistake?” 

“It started off as good but then you fucked it up. This is all your fault, not mine and I will be damned if you try to blame me.”

She picked up the box and walked past him, hitting her shoulder against his. She walked down the stairs and headed outside to hear her name. She turned around to see Taehyung at the front door giving her a desperate look, “Y/N, can we think about this..together?”

She shook her head and placed the box in her trunk, “No because you never thought about us. I always thought about us while you were dancing with other girls in the club. I hope the fire was worth it because you deserve to be burned. I gave you everything and I loved you so much but I saw you as the boy that my dad loved and not me loving you as myself. I thought about our future but you only cared about yourself in the present. I can’t do that anymore, I have to focus on myself and get better. I can’t be with you Taehyung”

“What about me?” 

She scoffed and closed her trunk, “Why is it always about you? I don’t care what you need.”

Taehyung scoffed at this and grabbed her wrist stopping her from going in the car, “You can’t just leave me. I need you.”

“You don’t need me for shit. What can you possibly need me for? You just want someone to come home too and you never loved me, you just liked the idea of being in a relationship.”

She pushed him away and got in the car as he stood there watching her with a shocked look. She started her car and glanced at him for the last time and drove off. She didn’t bother looking back at him because what was the point. She still loved him and she knew it’s going to take a long time to get over him because he was a big part in her life. Her father never really knew the real Taehyung and she knew him better than anyone. Even though she loved him it didn’t mean anything to her now. She shouldn’t be questioning if he thinks about us when she knew the answer and that answer hurt her more than anyone could know. This was a new chapter and she needed to get away from the past before it killed her. The butterflies she felt in the beginning from pure love were now icicles getting ready to stab her at any moment. She has to get the ice to melt before she could love again but she knew the next time the question do you think about us would never be asked, ever. 

When you're dancing in the club And the nights are getting hard Do you think about us? Do you think about us? When the music gets so loud And the girls are all around Do you think about us? Do you think about us?

Tag list:

@belladaises​ @iknowyoualwaystae​ @vinylphwoar @mickmoon @delicateladypeach @bbl32​ @arepabella​ @scuzmunkie

[panda-writes-kpop]

Gahyeon ~ Cheshire

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! Happy Birthday to one of my favorite maknaes, so you all know what that means - another part to this story. Also, a quick side note, I will be skipping over Dami in the series for now because she has her own special fic that's coming out on her birthday, plus it makes more sense for her to come later in the series. 😉

TW: Spoilers for the first part, I mean, it's right off the bat so I'd check out the first part if you don't want to be confused, elements of horror and dark fantasy, Gahyeon's kind of creepy in this but it's more so because of the nature her character than the actual personality she displays, angst-y flashback that will probably confuse you 😶, morally grey characters

Summary: After a stunning discovery, Yoohyeon helps guide you through a strange and unusual land that you've only heard of in fantasy tales. While taking a path through the forest, you discover another resident - one that's more inclined to help you, although her true motivations have yet to be revealed.

♡ Masterlist ♡ 》 》 》 ♧ AU Masterlist ♧

“Alice?”

You repeat the name back to Kim Yoohyeon.

“Like Alice in Wonderland?”

She chuckles as her black waves of hair bounce with her shoulders.

“You are in Wonderland, my dear. Won’t you come with me?”

A warm smile, and an extended hand.

Where am I again?

“Wonderland?”

“The place where everything and nothing exists at once. Isn’t that so… wonderful?”

Kim Yoohyeon laughs at her own joke, and you stare at her hand.

“Why me? Why am I Alice, Kim Yoohyeon?”

“My name is Yoohyeon,” She corrects, “and that is for me to know, and for you to find out.”

She speaks in riddles and tongues unknown to me.

“So… what am I to do now?”

“You can either discover Wonderland on your own, or you can come with me.”

Her hand is still out, and you sigh before taking it.

“Lead the way.”

The colors swirl in your vision as Yoohyeon leads you through a thickened forest.

The dark you missed dearly comes back to you, and purple trees with green forestry are the only things in your vision.

“Where are you taking me?”

Yoohyeon does not stop, but she ponders your question.

“Somewhere you’ve never been before.”

“I-” You pause before continuing. “I don’t think I quite understand.”

She shrugs before continuing on.

“No one does, but it’s alright. I’ll lead you back home.”

“Home?”

Your voice is hopeful, but your hopes are quickly squandered by Yoohyeon’s answer.

“My home.”

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you continue to travel through the forest.

Purple and green is all that you see for a while, until a flash of red comes into your vision.

Red.

Redrum?

Red, the color of fiery passion.

Why did I see red before now?

You look to your left.

Nothing.

You look to your right.

Still more darkness, but there is a line of light.

A line of light shaped in the way of a smile.

A smile?

You blink; it’s gone.

“Yoohyeon?”

The black hair, her familiarity - Yoohyeon is gone as well.

Huh?

Red again.

Where is that color coming from?

A giggle comes from all around you, and light flickers in your vision.

The light… flickers?

In a forest, light is filtered, but it never flickers.

What is happening?

Your confusion causes you to turn around.

A girl is there, but it’s not Yoohyeon.

No, this girl’s hair is bright red.

Didn’t Yoohyeon have bright hair in one of my dreams? Is this another version of Yoohyeon?

This girl’s shorter, and her unnerving smile brings youthfulness to her figure.

She tilts her head at you, and you continue to stare back at her.

What is her game?

A snap of her fingers causes the world to spin, and you rapidly look around as the landscape shifts into… a coffee shop?

The people around you pay no mind that the two of you appeared out of nowhere, and the red-haired girl smiles before taking a seat at a nearby table.

You continue to stare in disbelief as she chuckles.

“Is this not comfortable to you? Would you rather I take you someplace else?”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

You blink before taking a seat across from her.

Lee Gahyeon.

“Lee Gahyeon?”

How did I know that?

Her eyes meticulously study you.

“Yes, and you are-”

“Alice, or to you, I am.” You interrupt. “And who are you?”

“The Cheshire cat.” Her sleek smile does remind you of a cat, but her eyes and face shape resemble a fox more than anything.

“You have powers, but they aren’t related to Wonderland, are they?” You gesture to the world around you, and Gahyeon laughs again.

“We still are in Wonderland, Alice.” Gahyeon reminds you. “I just have taken you to a different part of it - a place of unlimited imagination. A place where I have the power to speak with you.”

“A Cheshire cat cannot speak in the normal constraints of Wonderland? Doesn’t that, like, break the purpose of Wonderland?”

“Yes, but I do what is required of me. My role is important to the survivability of Wonderland, as is yours.” Her eyes widen as she quickly backtracks. “No, I didn't mean to say such things, you cannot understand that I-”

“What do you mean, Gahyeon?”

She sighs before shaking your head.

“I cannot tell you what I mean. You have to find the truth for yourself.”

Her fingers snap again, and you’re transferred back into Wonderland again.

“Gahyeon, I-”

She holds a finger to her mouth before winking at you.

A flash of red hair signals her departure, and you turn back to see Yoohyeon shaking her head at you.

“You’ve been staring at that tree forever. Come on, we have more ground to cover!”

You simply smile before allowing Yoohyeon to continue to lead you through the forest.

The rules of Wonderland are interesting, to say the least.

~

“Yoohyeon?”

Your voice is soft, a sweet morning call to a woman who feels worlds away from you.

“Don’t call me like that; it only makes this harder.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

She shakes her head, and your shoulders sink.

“Do you think anything would have changed if we tried again?”

She sighs.

“I’m going, whether you like it or not.”

~

As you continue to walk through the forest, you see Gahyeon standing in a clearing that you pass.

She winks at you before quietly following behind you.

“Yoohyeon? Are there any other… residents of Wonderland? Where might I meet them?”

“Yes and no, as I have answered your other questions.” Yoohyeon calmly says as you continue to walk through the forest.

The forest… begins to thin out?

It ends.

The colors blend back into your vision, but you notice a lack of red in the world around you.

You look back.

She’s there, awaiting you in the forest.

Gahyeon?

She steps out of the forest, and her figure disappears except for a creepy smile.

“I’m watching you, even if you can’t see me.”

[shina913]

Scions, Ch.6 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 6

sci·​on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; lots of sentimentality; character has terminal illness; discussion of said terminal illness; sibling bickering; lots of crying--like, A LOT; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; mentions of infidelity; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; marriage troubles; mentions of divorce; minor panic attack; emotional outbursts; mentions of miscarriage; allusions to long-distance relationships; character death (not explicitly described); ANGST (yep, as if the first mention of it wasn’t enough of a warning)

Word count: 11.934 words

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: So...first things first! I'm very sorry to say that Hobi is MIA on this chapter...BUT to make up for that, I have a one-off in the works for him. I figured that it wouldn't make sense to add a super long flashback (spoiler!) within a regular update so I thought it would read better as a separate chapter so you can get glimpse of his background story and his and OC's history. Hoping to get that out in the next week or so!

Also, I really went through with it while writing this chapter. I know I say that a lot because I'm very dramatic but...for real...I sobbed...multiple times. Shit, I'm doing it as I write this damn note! Thank you to my darlings, @internetjunkdrawer and @deepseavibez for crying with me. I really didn't mean it to be this emotional cluster but...well...I like to hurt myself.

Anyway, I'm a mess so...here it is and please, please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!

Minor note:

D&C. Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside your uterus. Health care providers perform dilation and curettage to diagnose and treat certain uterine conditions — such as heavy bleeding — or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion. (Mayo Clinic)

The next morning, you knocked quietly at your bedroom door where Sam had already been up taking calls and asked quietly if he wanted some coffee. He nods and mouths his ‘thanks’ before you shut the door, hearing him arguing with some disembodied voice coming off his laptop’s speakers.

You headed downstairs and took the tray of cinnamon rolls out of the fridge. You and the kids found baking them to be a relaxing activity. Joobin always marveled at how puffy a small ball of dough could get after you took it out of the proofing drawer.

When you made homemade pizza, or dinner rolls, he always wanted to see how much fatter the ball got. His favorite part was punching the air out before you rolled the dough back onto the counter to work it again.

For the cinnamon rolls, Jooni particularly enjoyed sprinkling the cinnamon sugar in the center and helping you roll it up. The whole time, Yoojung watched and giggled at how cute and surprisingly well-behaved the kids were while you baked.

After you fill the coffee machine with water and coffee grounds, you take the biggest mug you could find out of your parents’ cupboard for Sam, set it under the dispenser and wait for it to brew.

A minute into it, the doorbell rings, which you found odd. Everyone was home and you weren’t expecting anybody else to drop by. Who would be here at this hour?

The hospice nurse wasn’t due until later this evening...unless plans changed and your mom forgot to mention it. You walked over to the door to find out who this early caller was. When you open it, your mouth falls open.

******

“Joon? Joon?” He was laying on his stomach while you tapped him lightly on his shoulder to wake him.

He groans and grumbles at the sound of you interrupting his sleep, turns his head the other way and buries it deeper into the pillow.

You call his name a few more times, shaking him gently. He lets out another grunt, haphazardly swatting you away.

You roll your eyes. And with a huff, you grab the other pillow that he wasn’t laying on and smack him square on his back. 

He jumps up, his eyes looking like he was ready to fight you. 

“Yah! What the fuck?! Can’t you see that I am trying to sleep here?” 

His glasses were off so you knew he was just guessing the approximate spot where you were standing. He may be much bigger than you but you’d still be at an advantage.

You leaned closer to his face and plastered a sickly sweet, sarcastic smile at him. “Good morning, Mr. Kim Namjoon. You have a wakeup call waiting for you in the living room,” you say in a fake-concierge voice.

He narrows his eyes then glowers at you. “What are you talking about?” He turns to his nightstand to feel around for his glasses. It was dark in the basement and he couldn’t see a thing–but he heard a clack–which was the sound his glasses made when they hit the floor.

You grimaced at his state of undress. “Why don’t you go and put on some pants–and for God’s sake–a shirt–so you can see for yourself?”

You turn on your heel and make your way back up the steps.

He growls, rolls his eyes, wanting to collapse back into bed but you call past your shoulder. “And don’t you dare go back to sleep! You are not leaving me alone to entertain her.”

His eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. “Her?” After a few seconds, recognition dawns and the color drains from his face.

******

Namjoon drags his ass from the basement in a little over 10 minutes. But before that, he was trying to psych himself up.

Why was she here? Or more importantly, how did she know that he was here?

He left so abruptly–practically in a rage, on their last meeting and has rejected each and every attempt she’s made to reach him since. She wasn’t leaving any detailed voice messages or texts. It was always, ‘We need to talk,’ or ‘Please call me back, I have to talk to you.’

He ignored and deleted them all.

When he reaches the top of the steps, walks down the hallway and takes that left towards the living room, the first thing he sees is the back of her head, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. You pause your conversation, looking up past her shoulder, where you were seated on the couch opposite hers.

How he wished he could ignore and delete this moment.

“Oh, look who’s finally joining us,” you remarked, getting up from the couch, deciding that this was the perfect time to make an exit. “I’ll leave you both to talk. S’good to see you, Vee,” you added politely.

“Thanks, YN,” she says softly, still looking straight ahead.

“Did you want some coffee or tea?” You offered before going into the kitchen.

“N-no. My…stomach has been…uhm–kind of off lately,” she murmurs. “But thank you, though!”

You nodded, squeezed Namjoon’s arm when you walked past him before heading back upstairs to check on the kids.

******

Victoria didn’t look back when Namjoon rounded the corner and walked towards the sofa that YN previously occupied.

He had his glasses on now, his eyes still too dry and irritated to put contact lenses in them. He sank into the seat and her face was crystal clear in front of him.

It’s only been a few days but she looked a bit run-down. The bags under her eyes were evident and her cheeks a bit more hollow. Nevertheless, she still looked beautiful. It was a special kind of torture for him.

“Hi, Namjoon,” she said with a small smile.

“What are you doing here?” He deadpanned.

She released a breath, fully expecting this amount of hostility, given the way they left things the last time they spoke.

“I–tried calling–”

“And you couldn’t take the hint that I did not want to speak to you?”

This was going to be tougher than she thought. “I came because I found out about your dad. Since I couldn’t reach you or your sister–I went to your work the other day and ran into one of the producers. He said that you had to take a leave of absence because of…family matters.”

“You didn’t need to make the trip out here. I know you don’t like–”

“Yes, but I also wanted to say goodbye to your dad–properly…” She swallowed hard. “Your parents were kind to me and…I just wanted to show my appreciation. I’m not here to cause trouble, Joon.”

Namjoon sighed heavily. His instincts were telling him to send her home. She had no business being at his house, she had no right, especially after hurting him. But the time away from the city had helped some.

Despite the anger he still felt and the pain that weighed heavily on him – he could think more clearly. Since he still hadn’t told the rest of his family about what he and Victoria were going through yet, he didn’t want to raise any suspicions by barring her from saying goodbye to her father-in-law. After all, she was still legally married to him.

She cleared her throat nervously. “A-and…there’s something else that I need to tell you. I–”

He cuts her off. “You know what, I’ll bring you to see him now. I think he might be awake so–let’s just get this over with.”

She shut her mouth and nodded softly.

******

Leaving Victoria to have her own private moment with your dad, Namjoon joins you in the kitchen, seething. You both spoke in low tones, careful not to spill any of your brother’s secrets–in case anybody else walked in.

“I can’t believe she just showed up at our front door. She couldn’t just wait until after this was all over?”

You stared at Namjoon sympathetically. You knew what it was like to keep certain problems you weren’t quite ready to reveal yet. Standing behind the kitchen counter, you waited for Sam’s second mug to fill up with your parents’ single-mug brew machine. He was on for a marathon of calls today.

“Joon, you guys are still legally married. Everyone here knows that you’re married. Until you tell the rest of our family that you guys are over, she still has a right to be here and pay her respects. Plus, you haven’t returned any of her calls. How is she supposed to know that she’s not allowed here? Just because you think it so, she just telepathically gets it?”

Namjoon remains indignant. “But I don’t want her here! I’m already an emotional mess as it is with dad. I can’t deal with her at the same time!”

Arms crossed over your chest, you shrugged at your brother. “Well, there’s not much you can do about it now. She’s here so…you kind of have no choice but to talk to her.”

He drags his palms against his face then sighs heavily. “I really don’t know if I can, YN. The last time I saw her, she was talking to him,” he spat out bitterly, resting his forehead against his hands while he sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter.

“Right, but–keep in mind–you filed for divorce. She wronged you. So…why are you hiding in the kitchen?”

“Who’s hiding?” Jin asks as he comes downstairs for a cup of coffee. He decided to take a day off from the restaurant, leaving it up to his assistant manager to reach out for emergencies.

“Oh, look at that–Sam’s coffee is ready.” You grab the mug off the coffee machine while Namjoon silently begs you to stay and help him distract Jin. But you were already on your way upstairs.

----

“I see Vee made it out here,” he remarked, grabbing a mug out of the cupboard. He had stopped in to check on his dad and found his sister-in-law having a quiet chat with him.

Namjoon clears his throat and shifts in his seat.

After refilling the coffee machine with water and loading it up with a cartridge of grounds, Jin turns to regard his younger brother. Bubbling noises from the coffee machine fills the brief silence.

“You seem really tense,” Jin points out. “Everything alright?”

Namjoon’s jaw ticked but he eventually released a breath that he seemed to be holding since Victoria showed up at the front door. “Uh…just…a little stressed out, that’s all, hyung,” he tries to sound as casual as possible.

“I take it Vee’s back has magically healed overnight?” Jin kept a steady look at his dongsaeng. Namjoon rarely opened up to Jin but when he did, Jin tried his best to dole out empathetic yet practical advice. Sometimes, they were frank but they were never cruel.

Namjoon’s face heats up. His little white lie may have fooled Taehyung but not Jin. His guilty silence was all Jin needed to try and coax the truth out of him.

“Would you like to try that again, Namjoon-ah?” He kept his voice calm and assuring.

Namjoon swallows the lump in his throat, trying to form thoughts into words. Words that he was finding difficulty to verbalize to his older brother.

Finally, he relaxes his clenched jaw. “Victoria and I are getting a divorce.”

Jin’s eyes bulged and he wanted to gasp out loud but inhaled sharply instead. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask his younger brother but he held back since this seemed like something that Namjoon wasn’t quite ready to discuss in detail. Once he exhales, he rounds the counter to hug his brother tightly, taking Namjoon by surprise. He hugs his hyung in return.

“Are you okay?” Jin asks softly as he pulls away.

“No, not really,” Namjoon admitted. “It’s been a really difficult couple of months.”

Jin’s eyes widened again. A couple of months? Somewhere within him, Jin was disheartened that Namjoon had been suffering silently for this long…without any love or support from his family. He figured that Namjoon had told YN–since they shared virtually all of their secrets with each other.

“Do you…“ Jin hesitated for a beat, “Do you want to talk about it? Like, why–”

“I caught her cheating on me, hyung,” Namjoon says blankly–as if his mind had completely disengaged from his body. For some odd reason, he felt some small form of relief after breaking that seal.

Jin thought his eyes would pop out of their sockets. “Mwo–Vee? Cheat on you?” He whispered harshly, his voice going up a few octaves due to his incredulity.

“Yeah…” Namjoon’s lips narrowed into a thin line.

“W-wha…h-how…who–” Jin sputtered.

“Jaxon.” Namjoon deadpanned.

Jin choked out a bitter scoff. “That fucking dick?”

“Woah–good morning to you guys, too.” Taehyung enters the kitchen, surprised to hear Jin’s early-morning expletives.

“Are you boys playing nice?” His mom rounds the corner from the foyer after returning from a morning walk.

Namjoon breaks into a sweat. 

Taehyung and his mom look at Jin and Namjoon–who both wore a deer-in-headlights expression on their faces. It was as if they’d been caught doing something illegal.

She looks to Taehyung for answers.

“Don’t look at me–I just got here…but I feel like I just walked into something.” Taehyung comments. “Does it have something to do with Victoria being here? She healed up pretty fast! I asked her about her back when I said ‘hi’ to dad earlier and she looked at me as if I was talking crazy.”

Jin looked at Namjoon tentatively. Namjoon’s mouth had gone dry–as if all of the air was just sucked out of the room. “You should tell them, Namjoon-ah,” he urges him gently.

Taehyung and their mom zero-in on Namjoon, awaiting his response. Guess this was going to be the day, he thought. He figured that there was no use trying to skirt the issue any longer–since said issue was currently under the same roof.

“Vee and I are splitting up.”

Taehyung’s jaw drops and their mom lets out a soft gasp, her hand instantly flying over her mouth.

“Was it…was it the baby?” She asks.

“Among other things,” Namjoon mutters. “She…cheated on me.”

Their mom’s hand clutches at her chest in surprise. She’s had her own opinions about Victoria over the years but since Namjoon seemed happy, she decided that she wouldn’t be that type of mother-in-law. But it didn’t stop her from complaining to YN or their dad.

“With Jaxon, no less,” Jin adds, making everyone’s jaw drop.

“That fucking dick!” Taehyung spits out angrily.

“Taehyung-ah!” She scolds him, pinching his side simultaneously, making him wince.

“What? Jin-hyung said it first!” Taehyung whines about being reprimanded for doing the same thing that his older brother said.

******

Namjoon does his best fielding questions from his family about her affair and the divorce. He wasn’t quite ready to talk about all of the details yet–and truthfully, he didn’t want to revisit the whole thing. He had decided within himself that it was enough that he let everything out in front of YN. He’d made up his mind and didn’t want to go back into that hole again.

One thing’s for sure, his mother and his brothers managed to convince him to have a decent conversation with Victoria–divorce or not. It was something that his sister had been pushing him to do but he’d been reluctant to face the music this whole time…understandably so.

Namjoon heads upstairs to check on his dad and Victoria. He had resigned himself to the fact  that it was now or never–and there really wasn’t much room for him to keep avoiding her at this point. If–When the funeral happens, the rest of their friends and relatives will expect her to be there.

He pauses at the threshold when he catches them in the middle of an embrace. He backs away and hides behind the wall, out of sight. He heard some soft mumbling between them but he couldn’t quite make out the words.

“Thank you, abeonim.” He heard her say to his dad. He whispers something else to her and hears her answer in the affirmative.

Namjoon steps into the room and sees his dad cup his soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law’s face and kisses her forehead while she smiles warmly at him.

Seconds later, they sense his presence and they both turn to see Namjoon standing by the doorway.

“Hey, dad–mom asked if you wanted her to bring up your breakfast now?”

“Yes, please,” he whispers. “Thank you, adeul.”

Namjoon and Victoria exchange looks. He signaled to her that he was ready to sit down and have a decent conversation. Getting the unspoken message, she nods at him, then smiles one last time at her father-in-law before she follows her husband out the door.

******

“Is your friend coming over today?”

Taehyung looks up from his phone in the midst of chewing on a huge bite of the cinnamon roll that YN baked yesterday. “Oh–” he chews some more and swallows before answering his mom.

“N-no. I think she had some meetings that she had to take but…she’s still at the hotel.”

“Is that so?” His mom asks suspiciously.

“Yeah. And I told her, it’s no big deal. It’s not like we’re–” he stopped himself. He turns to see his mom staring at him in anticipation. 

Clearing his throat, he corrects his unfinished statement. “It’s not like she’s known dad for a long time. I, uh…told her she didn’t need to stick around. And uhm…you know, the kids…it’s…it’s fine. She doesn’t…doesn’t have to hang out with them,” he stammered incoherently.

“Mm…I see.” Sensing his need to change the subject of Eunhae, she doesn’t push.

“Have you sat with dad yet?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows crease but smiles at how ridiculous his mom’s question seemed to him. “Ma, of course I have! I hang out with him all the time. We talk about sports, food…music.” 

Suddenly, he falls silent for a beat. “He said that I can keep his record collection when…you know…”

She nods softly then puts her hands on his shoulders, rubbing them in an attempt to comfort her youngest. “Have you said goodbye to him?”

“Ma–” he shrugs her hands off. “Don’t…” he shook his head. “Don’t say that.” He knew that he had to…he was just having a difficult time accepting it. “I’m…just waiting until Jin-hyung, Namjoonie-hyung, and noona get their turns,” he shrugs.

“Is that really it?”

“I’m used to going last, ma. It’s how my life’s been. I watch my hyungs and noona do it…and then, I go. But at that point, nobody’s paying attention to me anymore since they’ve already seen three people before me.”

She eyed him silently before speaking. “Sweetheart, I’m not saying this to torture you. Your dad doesn’t have long. He knows it and accepts it. You should never leave things unsaid…and if you do, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

Taehyung sighed. “I just…I don’t want to say the wrong thing, you know? This–could be the last good conversation I have with dad and I…” he raked his hair with his fingers. “I just need some time to think it through.”

“Alright. You do that…but don’t take too long, okay?”

Taehyung nodded. She smiled, placed her hand on the side of his head and gently leaned it towards her so she could kiss the top of it. 

******

Only a few minutes after his mom talks to him, Taehyung decides to go upstairs. These days, his dad falls in and out of consciousness. The pain medication makes it difficult for him to stay awake for longer than half an hour.

When his dad opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sound of soft music playing. He turned his head to the side, smiling to find his youngest. Taehyung was leaning back against the chair with his eyes closed while gently tapping his foot to the beat.

While he also shared a love for music with Namjoon, he was into a completely different genre. Taehyung on the other hand? He was an old soul.

“Taehyungie…”

His eyes fly open and he smiles at his dad. “Hey. Did I wake you?”

“I’m happy to wake up to Bobby McFerrin’s voice,” he smiled as his rendition of ‘Drive My Car’ echoed in the background.

“I’m keeping this record,” Taehyung states decisively.

His dad laughs. “I told you–you can keep the whole thing. You can trade or sell ones you don’t like. As long as someone else gets to enjoy them when I’m gone.”

At the sound of that, Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath and his face falters.

“What? What is it?”

Taehyung, trying to look unbothered by his dad’s impending mortality, shakes it off. “N-nothing, dad,” he smiles tightly. He’s suddenly regretting not taking more time to consider this ‘talk.’

“Ah, Taehyungie…are you really going to lie to me while I’m on my deathbed?”

Taehyung balked at his tone. “How can you be so casual about it?”

“I’m not. This is me, accepting my fate. It…wasn’t really what I had hoped for. It’s…uncomfortable, it’s painful…it’s hard as hell…but,” he shrugs, “It’s the card I was dealt. I’m scared, too, you know?”

Taehyung’s face softened.

“But you know what? That’s okay. There are a lot of unknowns in this life…but we have to face them one way or another.” He then looked at his son pointedly. “It’s easy to settle into something comfortable…something predictable. It’s harder to step out of your comfort zone and explore the unknown. It’s like…like jumping into a bottomless pit!”

Then his dad paused to try and make sense of it. “You know what? I’ve always wondered how people would dub such things as ‘bottomless’ unless they’ve actually gone through it? Nobody can call something ‘bottomless’ and live to tell the tale. It’s nothing but a senseless scare tactic!”

Taehyung‘s eyebrows crease, absolutely dumbfounded at his dad’s argument. “And why would I want to jump into a bottomless pit? That seems like a death wish–“ He gasps at his comment. “S-sorry, no offense, dad!” He apologizes reflexively.

His dad laughed. “None taken, Taehyungie. What I’m trying to allude to here is that you need to push yourself and take some chances. Find out what’s out there for yourself!”

Taehyung groans as this same topic is brought up again. “Dad…we’ve talked about this–”

“Yes, yes I know,” he interjects. “But I refuse to believe that you are fully content in your comfort zone.”

“It’s…you know…it’s not so bad,” Taehyung counters weakly.

His dad scoffs. “Take your girlfriend, for instance–”

“Dad! She’s not my–”

“Fine! Your friend, the girl,” he corrects himself. “Seems to me that she’s taken a huge leap by coming over here.”

Taehyung chuckles wryly. “She only did that because she felt bad for me.”

“Ah, well…that’s not how I see it,” his dad points out. “Now…I don’t know what happened between you two but I see that she cares enough to make the trek all the way out here for you.”

Taehyung falls silent, the crackling of the record playing switching tracks fill the room before the whistling from ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy,’ swells.

“I love this song,” his dad remarks. “It always makes me smile.”

Taehyung agrees. He remembers watching his dad play this record, while he laid next to the console, with his ear pressed against the floorboards, listening to the baritone voice and snapping fingers thumping into his eardrums.

“I’m scared of making the wrong move, dad. It’s…it’s why I stay in my comfort zone. I just feel like I’m not going to be able to do it right.”

“And you don’t want to aim too high in case you end up falling?”

Taehyung pursed his lips. His dad didn’t need an answer.

“Taehyungie—you think your hyungs and noona know what they’re doing 100% of the time?”

Taehyung frowns at the question, like something that’s been there the whole time but he took no notice – it was a fresh perspective. Considering the shitshow going on with his brother and the crossroads his noona seemed to be at, maybe he wasn’t the only one… figuring things out.

“I mean…they look like they have a pretty good idea as to where or how their lives are supposed to go. Otherwise, they wouldn't push me all the time to make a move.” He mumbled, his eyes looking downcast at the floor.

“They care about you, Taehyungie. They know you’re capable of so much more, that’s why they push you. You just need to take that chance!” His dad urged him. “Whether it’s your job…or this girl…make a decision. And deciding not to decide doesn’t count!”

Taehyung sinks into the seat and thinks about his whole situation with Eunhae…and how he so badly wanted to take a chance with her. The only reason he wouldn’t was because he thinks that he’s already guessed what she’s decided.

And work? Yes, he’s had opportunities–plenty! Even Jungkook offered to get him into his workplace…but Taehyung was scared of failure. Most of all, he was scared of disappointing himself.

“I’ll tell you what I told your Jin-hyung last night—if you’re scared, then do it scared! At least you’ll have a clear answer. You won’t know until you know. Because–what if it turns out that that bottomless pit actually has an end to it? Then, hey! You can wear it as a badge of honor!”

Taehyung peered up at his dad and retorted, “And if I fall to my death?”

“Welp…can’t be any worse than where I’m at, right?” His dad laughed, making Taehyung laugh in turn.

His mom stands by the doorway, unbeknownst to them, smiling at the scene.

******

The house was quiet. Namjoon’s mom and Taehyung were upstairs while Sam was chained to the desk on his laptop and phone. YN, Jin, and Yoojung decided to go grocery shopping with the kids. Oddly enough, Namjoon craved the sound of his niece and nephew running around the place. But he promised himself that he would try to be calm and present instead of volatile like last time. It was a shame to admit it but he needed to find some form of closure, too.

Namjoon decided he and Victoria should talk out in the backyard. As soon as they get to the bottom of the steps, Victoria gets a whiff of something from the kitchen.

Her face sours. “Oh god–what is that smell?”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “Uh–I don’t know…cinnamon, I think?” He says flatly. “YN and the kids baked cinnamon rolls yesterday. Taehyungie may have warmed up–”

Victoria dry-heaves then abruptly excuses herself and runs off to the downstairs bathroom, barely making it.

His eyebrows knit in confusion and he slowly walked down the hallway. When he stops outside the bathroom, he finds the door slightly ajar. He pushes it open to find her sitting on the floor, hugging the toilet.

“Are you alright? Are you sick or something? Because if you’ve got some virus, you probably shouldn’t have been hugging my dad,” he warns, worried about his dad’s nonexistent immune system.

She grabs a handful of toilet paper and dabs it around her mouth. “Nope, not a virus,” she says dryly. “But some would consider it more of a parasite.”

******

Namjoon’s jaw is unhinged.

Victoria sits across from him, taking a sip of water as she patiently watches him digest her news.

“How are you so sure that it’s mine?” He manages to blurt out after coming out of his state of shock.

She released a sharp but definitive breath. “Because it is yours, Namjoon.”

He cocked a questioning eyebrow at her.

She lowers her voice. “Jaxon…” she sighed, “Apparently…got snipped last year.” She pursed her lips and looked downward. “He said that with his lifestyle? He didn’t want to risk it.”

Namjoon didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or sneer in disgust at that. He was shocked that Jaxon actually went ahead and got a vasectomy but he wasn’t surprised. Sometime last year, in the midst of his world tour, a groupie claimed that he got her pregnant.

Jaxon and his management were sweating bullets. He was just hitting his stride and at the peak of his popularity. The company, understandably, wanted to do everything they could to protect their investment.

Much to their relief, it turned out to be an extortion plot. One would think that something like that would deter Jaxon or attempt to make lifestyle changes…but he was back at it the next day. Management just had to revise their NDA protocols.

Namjoon sighed heavily, his thumb and forefinger rubbing his tear ducts before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Anyway, I’m not here to guilt you into getting back together. I’m here to let you know that I’m keeping it.” She says evenly. “A-and, you can be as involved as you want…or not.”

That made Namjoon’s head snap up. He found her gazing intently at him.

“Why would you automatically assume that I would not want to be involved? Do you take me for a deadbeat? Have you been hanging out with Jaxon too long?” He barked.

Victoria chewed at her bottom lip. Her intention was not to piss him off. She just didn’t want him to feel any sort of obligation towards her since they were ending their marriage. “Joon…I…I apologize. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

She took in a sharp breath, cautious with her next words. “I just remember that…early on, before we got married, you said that you didn’t really want any kids so…” she trailed off.

He puffed his cheeks out and let out a breath, his thoughts swirling in his head.

“Vee, just because I said that before–did you think that I wouldn’t care or-or-or–that I was not allowed to change my opinion on it if and when it actually happened?”

He stared at her pointedly, unsure if he wanted to hear an answer from her.

“Look…after we lost our first one–I…I thought you were relieved–”

“Relieved?” He all but yelled out incredulously. “How could you say that? Are you just assuming that’s how I felt?”

“After the miscarriage, it’s like…we shut each other out.”

He chuckled bitterly, moistening his lips with his tongue before biting into his lower lip to control his irritation at her.

“And you didn’t think that blaming me for what happened had anything to do with that?”

Her brows furrowed slightly in confusion, shaking her head. “W-wha…I-I didn’t–”

Namjoon talked over her. “You said to me, after I brought you home from your D&C–you said–’This is your fault…because you didn’t want it.’” He returned her dumbstruck gaze. “That was verbatim, by the way,” he finishes sarcastically.

“Joon…y-you have to understand, I was…emotional…I was–”

“And I wasn’t? Just because I had told you a long time ago that I didn’t want children–you’d throw it in my face? How do you not expect someone to shut down after hearing shit like that?”

Namjoon swallowed harshly. “I tried to get you help, Vee. I did that because I love you and I care about you. I hated seeing you like that. You wouldn’t open up to me and…I just couldn’t talk to you. Every time I made an attempt, you pushed me away…” He paused for a beat then scoffed bitterly, “Only to run towards Jaxon?”

He felt the rage bubbling up inside him again. “Of all people, why did it have to be him?” He clenched his fists on the table’s surface, struggling to keep his voice down so his family wouldn’t hear.

Not that he would ever forgive Victoria if she fucked somebody else. But he knew that Jaxon was a player. He’d been an unwilling audience to his misogynistic ‘orations’ about his female conquests. Namjoon always had to refocus their sessions not just because studio time cost money but he just hated hearing all of it.

“Namjoon,” she said softly, “I will never be able to justify what I did–nor was I planning to. I know that I hurt you and it was wrong of me to deal with my grief that way. I was selfish and…” She looked up at him, her eyes welling up with tears.

For a moment, that look transported him through time. Memories flashed through his mind like a rapid slideshow. The day they first met, the day he asked her to marry him, the day he found out that she was pregnant for the first time…to the last good day that they shared.

He was just coming back from an overnight studio session with another artist. When he came home, she was there to greet him. She had a different aura to her that day. She was happy. As exhausted as Namjoon was, it gave him a second wind. She made lunch–which they both ate in the living room, instead of the dining table–while the TV was on. Lunch was followed by a slow fuck, in the middle of the afternoon, on their couch…then a second time on the living room floor.

That was their last good day. It was the last good memory that he held onto–after everything went back to the normal melancholic routine. Now, he wondered if that day was tainted with guilt.

He propped his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands.

“Look, Namjoon…I know that…” she sighed, “Many things have happened…words have been exchanged and that you feel differently–”

“You don’t know half of what I’m feeling, Victoria,” he counters angrily.

“Joon…I’m not here to fight,” she said softly. “I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve made up your mind about us. The papers that you sent told me as much,” she said, referring to the divorce petition.

“And, honestly, I agree that our time is done. I just thought that…it was important for me to let you know that you’re going to be a father.”

“Holy. Fucking. Shit!”

Victoria and Namjoon’s necks whip around to find Taehyung standing frozen on the deck that led into the yard. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates. He was trying to get some fresh air after his heavy conversation with his dad.

“You’re pregnant?”

Namjoon groans and nearly rips every strand of his hair out. “Fucking hell! How do people just keep popping up randomly…out of nowhere?” He hisses rhetorically, groaning at how oddly perfect his family’s timing was every time there was a big reveal about his life.

******

After their conversation, Victoria tells him that she’s staying at the hotel downtown. If he needed to talk some more–about the baby or the divorce, she’d be there.

Once she left, Namjoon couldn’t stop fidgeting and pacing around in the basement.

She was pregnant–and it was his–but they were divorcing. So many thoughts rushed in, flooding his mind. What would people say? Had he made a mistake? Should he try and work it out with her–for the baby? He couldn’t wrap his head around any of it.

One thing’s for sure–he would get another chance at being a father. 

He puffed out his cheeks and let out a deep breath…but that didn’t settle him. He took in another breath and exhaled…his chest still felt tight. Maybe it was the basement? Or it could be the walls that he felt were closing in on him.

He needed to get some air. He needed a reprieve.

He ran up the stairs, passing his mom, who asked him if everything was okay.

He doesn’t answer and instead goes into the garage, where she follows.

“Namjoon-ah, what’s wrong? What happened?”

He ignores her, grabs his bicycle off its hooks and pushes the switch to open the garage door. It scrolls up excruciatingly slowly but he mounts his bike anyway and pedals out of the garage even before the door fully opens.

She makes no further attempt to stop him–even when Jin, YN, Yoojung, and her grandchildren pull up at the curb. She stays rooted in her position, looking completely flummoxed while she watches her second son speed farther away from home.

******

Come dinnertime, the door from the garage that led into the house clicks and Namjoon walks into the kitchen shortly after.

“Oh, there you are, Namjoon!” Your mom says in relief. “We were so worried…you didn’t tell anybody where you ran off to earlier after Victoria left!”

“That’s because I didn’t want to tell anybody where I was going,” Namjoon answers curtly.

“Namjoon-ah,” Jin says with authority. “Watch your tone.”

Namjoon sighs and tucks his emotions aside and bows to his mom in apology. “I’m sorry, eomma.”

She nodded, accepting it and urged him to take a seat and get some food in his system. Truthfully, he wanted to ride his bike all the way to Hangsang to grab a drink. It was the middle of the day–but surely it’s five o’clock somewhere. He resisted the urge and rode home instead.

“Hey, guys–we should cut Namjoonie-hyung some slack. He’s got a lot on his plate–”

“Taehyung-ah…” Namjoon says with a low rumble, firing an indirect warning at your youngest brother.

“First, the divorce and now Vee-noona is pregnant–”

“What?” Everyone says in unison.

Namjoon curses, this time under his breath so he doesn’t risk getting in trouble again.

“Wait–Vee is pregnant?” You repeat. “How?”

The sound of a dish shattering makes everyone’s heads whip around to find Yoojung by the sink on the verge of tears. Feeling embarrassed and heartbroken, Yoojung storms off upstairs to their room.

Jin, seeing the look of distress in his wife’s face, sighs heavily and looks around the table to silently excuse himself.

His mom nods. “Go on, Seokjin. I’ll clean this up.”

Namjoon, who was seated closest, stopped your mom and instead stood to take the broom from the corner to sweep up the broken pieces.

******

“Yeobo?” Jin knocks on the door and calls to her from the other side. “It’s me. Can I come in?”

It took a few beats of silence and Jin was intent on leaving her alone, if she needed to be. But then he hears footsteps closing in on the door, and soon, Yoojung opens it. She walks back towards the bed, sitting on it, with a few pieces of balled up tissues next to her.

He takes a seat on the mattress beside her.

“D-did you hurt yourself?” He asks, checking her fingers for any cuts from the broken dish.

She clutches her forehead. “Oh, god! I have to go back down and pick up–”

“Don’t worry about it. They…got it handled.”

“I’m so sorry–I…I couldn’t help it. I’m just–” she blew out a puff of air, trying to rein in her emotions. “They weren’t even remotely trying for another baby!” She blurts out bitterly. 

“Yoojung, you don’t know that for sure–”

“Why her?” She spat out. “Why? Why her?”

Jin is caught off-guard by her question. While he struggles to find an answer, she continues her tirade.

“I’m a good wife. I respect my in-laws. I am here, cooking, cleaning…taking care of you and your family–not just because I’m duty-bound but because I genuinely love them! I love them as if they were my own family! I love your nephew and niece as if I birthed them myself!”

He watched as fat tears pushed their way past her eyes and dripped down her cheek.

“She hates coming to this place. She doesn’t cook, clean, or take care of her husband! She had an affair, chrissake! They are getting a divorce! And yet she gets to be pregnant? Is that what I have to do?!” She finishes angrily. Part of it was brought on by the excess hormones in her system but he knew the real root of her frustration.

It crushed Jin to think that this was how she felt. That the universe had been unfair to them…to her. “Yoojung…” He cupped her face and wiped her tears with his fingers. “Please don’t think of it like that. I thought that we discussed this? You can’t have outbursts like that.”

She jerked her face away from him. “It still doesn’t change the way I feel!” She gets up and walks towards the window, looking out in the yard where YN and Namjoon were playing with the kids. “I just don’t know what else to do, Jin. Almost everyone from our high school class either has a kid or one on the way. What is wrong with me?”

“Yeobo…” he sighs heavily. “Look, I’m just as frustrated as you are. But… to tell you frankly…I’m scared.” His admission felt like one heavy load lifted off his chest.

That gave her pause. She turns away from the window and turns around to find her husband standing right in front of her. He exuded confidence each and every day. But the man who stood in front of her now looked vulnerable. A sight that she was unfamiliar with. “Scared? Of what?”

Jin scoffs. “I just…I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “I’m scared that I won’t be a good dad.”

Her heart squeezes at his confession. She instinctively goes to him to envelop him in her arms to give him the warmest embrace she could muster. When she pulls away, she touches his cheek.

“Jin, I never knew you felt that way. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged. “Because I know that you want us to have a kid so badly. I didn’t want to add to your stress…”

She looks crestfallen, suddenly feeling guilty of being self-centered, focusing on her insecurities and frustrations but never thinking about how her husband felt about this whole process.

“D-do you…” She hesitates for a beat, “Do you not want a–”

“No, no, Yoojung. It’s not like that.” He interjects right away, anticipating the end of her question. “Of course I want kids with you. God…you’d make such a great mom someday–I just know it! It’s me…I’m the one who feels like I’m not up to the job.”

She smiled at him, feeling some sense of relief that he still wanted to start a family with her. “Jin–how can you say that? Do you see how Joobin and Jooni look up to you? How much they love you? You’re so good with them!”

“I mean…” he smiles sheepishly. “I think it helps that they’re good kids. That sounds so biased but…What if our kid cries all night or…throws tantrums all day? What if…they get sick and I don’t know what to do–”

She cupped his face with her hands, effectively shutting him up. “Yeobo–it’s ‘we’.”

“Huh?”

“We–what if we don’t know what to do? You’ve always told me that we’re on this journey together. You and me. We will figure it out together. We’ll be a team. And we’ll have lots of help! Our family who love and care about us–they’ll be there to support us and encourage us.”

He gave her a rueful smile and clasped his hands over hers. “I love you so much, yeobo.”

“I love you.” She tilted her chin up to give him a peck on his lips. “And if it helps, I think you’ll make a great dad, too.”

******

After bringing Sam his dinner back to the room, you checked in on your dad. You took it upon yourself to clear his dinner tray and refill his drinking cup.

“What was all that commotion earlier?” He asks, probably referring to your mom yelling out for Namjoon when he stormed off to God-knows-where. Thankfully, the windows were double-paned so your dad didn’t hear exactly what was said.

“Oh–it’s uhhh…” Quick, think of something, YN! “I think Joon was trying to move some stuff in the garage and mom told him to be careful in case he broke any of your things,” you lied.

He chuckled softly. “Ahh, my accident-prone boy. It’s a wonder he’s able to work around all of those buttons and dials all day,” he says, referring to Namjoon’s studio.

“Well…that’s oppa’s sanctuary. He loves it, so he’s fully aware that he needs to take great care of it.”

He hummed in the affirmative. “I agree. If it’s something you consider as your sanctuary–you have to take care of it. You must take care of it...because it’s where you feel the safest. It’s…like your mother and I. Even after all this time, she’s still my sanctuary…”

You sat down on the seat and gazed at him.

“You know, even though we spent so much time apart, we always kept that spark between us,” he says wistfully.

Your eyes widened. “Oh, god–dad…let’s not–please…” You waved your hands ‘no’ and squeezed your eyes shut while his wheezes rang around the room.

“That wasn’t even what I was alluding to, princess,” he coughs out.

You shift uncomfortably at the thought. You figured that spark had resulted in you–under a year after Namjoon was born. And the same one that brought Taehyung into the world–so soon after they celebrated your first birthday.

“What can I say? Your mother is a beautiful woman. There was no such thing as FaceTime or video chats–”

“Okay, dad! I am seriously going to jump out of the window!” This was getting very awkward for you.

“Alright, alright,” he relents, still wheezing. “My point is–when you and your siblings moved out, your mom and I loved each other more than we ever have. It was as if–no time had passed at all.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “How did you and mom do it, dad? She was gone all the time…how did you not resent her?”

“Honey–your mom may not have been physically here but she was every bit a part of our lives as if she was standing in the same room as you. It broke her heart to have to leave home over and over to work...and maybe it was how the times were back then but–decades ago, you just did what you had to do to make sure that the family survived. Plus, your mother was breaking barriers in her industry–how could I not be supportive of that?”

“But–you must have felt helpless? Or…lonely?”

“Helpless, sometimes. But lonely? Never. We spoke every day. She checked in and asked about each and every one of you…always.”

“But the distance? And did…” You hesitated for a beat, “Did you ever regret taking so much on?”

“No.” He replies instantaneously. “ I may have questioned it sometimes but I never once regretted it. I wanted to do it. Your mom and I chose to come to that decision together.”

Your mom did what she had to, but you couldn’t help but wish that she was there to witness significant events in your life…to able to run into her room to talk or cry to her about something that neither your brothers nor your dad would understand.

You silently vowed that when the time came that you had your own family, they would have their mother present…cuddling them when they wake up crying from a nightmare; cooking them dinner; dropping them off at school; helping them get ready for dances…talking to you about their heartbreak.

Despite all those moments that she missed, you never resented her. You were still over the moon whenever she was home and you always maximized your time with her.

She was there when you got married and she was present when your children were born. And seeing her interact with them? It was just magical. They loved her so much and they would sob once they knew that it was time for halmeoni to leave and go home with harabeoji.

Your dad’s face faltered. “The distance was…very difficult,” he admitted. “There were times when she would just cry into the phone. I did my best to hold back but I also had days when I would just unleash my frustrations.”

Growing pains were rough on your dad. The four of you really put him through it–especially when you all went through puberty.

“But you know what? We kept each other strong. That’s what a marriage is supposed to be. You’re supposed to work at it…together. Because if you want something to work, you would find ways to make it work. But if your heart’s not in it and you don’t want to put in effort–there are ways to do that, too.”

Yes, you took on pretty much both parenting roles while Sam brought in the money. He even said that you didn’t need to work since he was making more than enough for both of you.

But something in you craved and yearned to do something else…or be something else…other than ‘mom’.

And deep down, during your darkest and most difficult days, you wished that Sam would also want to be something else–other than a master-negotiator. You wished that he would have that same need to be ‘dad’…or better yet, a husband.

You sighed, leaning forward to put your head in your hands. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, dad.” You were embarrassed to admit it. “I’m…I’m failing. I’m a failure,” you whimpered softly. You felt like a fraud...a hypocrite. Here you were, encouraging your brothers and supporting them through their relationship troubles–whilst yours was dying a slow and painful death. It might as well be laid up next to your dad.

“You’re not a failure, YN.” You felt his weak touch on the crown of your head, which you lifted to look at him.

“Your pride gets in the way of things. And I can’t help but feel that I may have had a hand in that. I’m sorry, YN.”

You wiped your tears away. “Dad, no–you didn’t–“

“Honey, if Hobi’s parents hadn’t offered to help me, I wouldn’t have taken it. I would have faked it until I couldn’t anymore. I wanted to show your mom that I could do it…I can raise you all and keep the restaurant open. I didn’t want her to worry. And damn me to hell if I didn’t fulfill that promise.”

And he really did. He was exhausted most days but you would have never been able to tell. He helped with homework; he was at PTA meetings; and he even made it to a few school plays.

He then looked more intently at you. “I think that’s why you’re overcompensating for Sam.”

The tears started up again. “He’s a good provider....and a good dad when can be.” It wasn’t an objection to your dad’s comment. It was a non-answer. You don’t know exactly how or when it started to fall apart between you two. You think it was shortly before Jooni was born.

“I’m not disputing that, YN…but is he a good husband to you?”

You had a full-time job up until Jooni was born. It was around the same time that Sam’s work was gaining proliferation. He was traveling more, spending long stretches of time away from you and the kids. It was a difficult conversation for you two and a much more difficult decision that you had to make–but just as your dad had done for you and your brothers, you elected to be the primary stay-at-home parent.

Your lips curved into a smile but it didn’t reach your eye. “Dad…you of all people know that married couples have to make sacrifices once they have children.”

“I understand that, YN. But one of those sacrifices shouldn’t be your relationship…or yourself.”

You inwardly cringe. You weren’t in the mood for the whole ‘a wife has an obligation to fulfill her husband’s needs’ speech.

“Love is like a garden. In order for it to grow, you have to cultivate it. Otherwise, it dies.”

“Dad, you don’t think I tried? Sam and I have gone through therapy…but–” You held back a sob. “It just feels like I’m the only one trying. I hate to admit it but…I think I’m getting tired of doing that. I’m trying to fight–but this…thing… is beating me.” You swipe at an errant tear that pushes its way past your eyes.

Your dad smiled resolutely. “That doesn’t sound like someone who’s giving up. It sounds like you’re simply conceding. And it's not because you’re a coward but this is you realizing that this is a battle not worth fighting anymore.”

You hung your head. “But the kids…”

“Kids are resilient, YN. Your children are resilient. Would you rather they watch you go through life just going through the motions? Or–stand by something just because–you want to prove to yourself or other people that, what? That you did it?”

Your dad’s introspection was legendary. He summed up almost two years of therapy in so few words. Hobi. Sam. The kids. You sat there in quiet indignance, still refusing to accept that you needed a lifeline.

“Princess–don’t do this to yourself. You don’t need to prove anything. Since you were a little kid, you always tried to tough it out–just like your brothers did. But it takes immense strength to admit that you, too, can be weak. People are allowed to fail at things…it’s what makes us human.”

You rubbed your temples, faced with a predicament.

“My advice? Think about your life, 15-20 years from now…probably around the time when the kids are old enough to move out.”

You stared at your dad, subconsciously imagining your life so far down the road.

“Picture yourself doing any activity–traveling, taking a walk down the street…or even something as mundane as watching TV. Do you see yourself doing all of those things with Sam?”

You kept your eyes at him, not wanting to answer too hastily.

“If you picture yourself doing all those things with him and being genuinely happy just enjoying his company–then fight for that. Fight for that future, YN,” He says with conviction before softening his expression. “But if all you’re doing is keeping it together for your children? Then that foundation is not strong enough to support a marriage.”

******

After dinner, Namjoon moves upstairs to read to his dad. It was something that he found comforting…for both of them.

“Namjoonie…” he wheezed out.

Namjoon was in the middle of reading a passage when he nearly jumped off the seat as his dad called out to him.

He moved closer to his bedside. “Yes, dad? Do you want me to get you anything?”

“No,” he whispers. “But I’ve been watching you this whole time. Something’s worrying you, adeul. Tell me.”

Namjoon sighed. “Nothing that should worry you, dad.”

He wheezed at him. “I won’t be here for long, boy. Why don’t you just tell me now,” he demands softly. Seems this was an ongoing trend with his sons.

Namjoon hesitates. He blows out a sharp breath and slumps back into the chair. “Victoria and I are divorcing.”

His dad’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh? How come?”

“She…” he bit the inside of his cheek in an attempt to not only rein his anger in but he was unsure whether he wanted to outwardly admit that his wife had been cheating on him right under his nose.

“We’ve outgrown each other,” was all he could muster.

His dad sighs. “That’s too bad, Joon. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Namjoon sat up in surprise. He was expecting a full lecture from him.

“Somehow, I felt deep-down, that you were both unhappy with each other. You know, after…” He trailed off, alluding to the miscarriage.

Namjoon squeezes his forehead with one hand, then after, rubbed his eyes with both.

“Part of me feels wrong about it…like, I failed at it.”

His dad chuckled softly. “Namjoonie—this isn’t an exam. It’s marriage. You’re allowed to be bad at it…just like life in general. You’re so used to doing things your way and working on it until you think it’s perfect…well, perfect for you. Yet you’re still unsatisfied after all that.”

Namjoon tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. “I just have this need to one-up myself. Like…I can’t keep doing things the same way every time. I feel like…I have to diversify my skills. Otherwise…I’ll get phased out!”

“Are you good at driving?” His dad asks out of nowhere.

Namjoon sighed. Driving was a necessity for him. He wasn’t the best at it but he thought he was good enough to get himself to Point A and B. But he never went on long drives, apart from the city and then back to his hometown. He never drove past the recommended speed limit. He never passes cars on the highway or tries to squeak past a yellow light. That was only because he was very cautious. And because of that, he has a perfect driving record–which he was very proud of!

“I’m…alright, I guess. I can’t do donuts like hyung or parallel park like Tae. I can’t multitask–like, talk on the phone or eat like YN does.”

His dad wheezed out a laugh “But you get by, right? The point is, you got through the written test, the road test–and now you have your license.”

“Only because I had to.”

“Exactly. Because you had to. Sometimes, we don’t do things for the sole purpose of mastering them or excelling in them. We do them because we need to. There’s no shame in that.”

Namjoon’s chest puffed up and he let out a deep exhale.

“I get that it’s hard for you to fight your natural instincts, adeul. But trust me on this–if you keep setting yourself up to meet a goal of perfection, you will always be disappointed. You’ll always think that you’ve failed. You have to allow yourself room to make mistakes…or–accept the fact that…you can’t be good at everything.”

Namjoon leaned back against the chair. He had to admit, his dad pretty much captured everything he had been feeling for the last few months. Unable to feel inspired at his job, unsatisfied with the mediocre beats and lyrics he’s been producing.

And Victoria…

He couldn’t place all of the blame on her. He guessed that he may have fallen short, one way or another. It takes two to make a marriage work, after all.

“Whatever you decide, Namjoonie–you need to make sure that it will be the best thing for your child.”

Namjoon gathered that Victoria had told his dad this morning. He scoffed at the thought. “Kind of a weird way to find out about your future grandchild?”

“You of all people should know that the means don't really matter to me. As long as I get there–and everyone’s limbs are intact–I consider that a great success.”

The sudden cheekiness made Namjoon and his dad laugh heartily. His dad’s chest blooms with warmth seeing his son’s dimples, poking out. His mom had an identical set as well–it was part of her charm.

When they both calm down, his dad turns serious once more.

“You know, you and your eomma have more in common than you think. Always stressing about the details, wanting to make sure that everything is done right–meaning her way.”

They stared at each other in silence for a bit. Namjoon and his mom clashed often. It was the primary reason why he wanted to leave home. He wanted to get out of his mom’s shadow and make a name for himself.

Despite numerous offers from her to use her connections, he turned all of them down and forged his own path. As a result, he earned his own accolades. Although, every now and then, he’d be irritated at supplementary lines from articles:

’Namjoon, whose mother is award-winning veteran actress, Young Lina…’

Even after all that effort, there was always some way that his mother would be attached to his name. It was difficult to accept that but he deduced that it all came with the territory.

For a while, he harbored some resentment towards her. But it was resentment brought on by his yearning for her. She was gone a lot because of work. His siblings were a bit more forgiving but when she was home, he didn’t fawn over her like they did. The family vacations were great–but he wanted his mom around more. In a way, he was jealous of Hobi…at least his mom was there whenever he needed her.

Namjoon argued with her, sometimes rebelled against her–only to be scolded by his dad. So he dialed it down but remained silently adamant…at least until he had the chance to move out. Over the years, he’s loosened up more–especially after meeting Victoria. And when Jooni was born…he’d been in a happier headspace.

But that was then. It’s been years since he’s spent this much time with his mother. He couldn’t help when those feelings resurfaced.

“You know, now that you’re going to be a father, I think that you need to take it easier on your mom. She may have fallen short on some things in your eyes…but she did what she needed to–to support our family. She always made sure that you and all your siblings were taken care of, and that none of you would need to worry about anything.”

“But dad, you did a lot, too.”

“And so did she,” his dad argues. “So did she. When she was at the studio or on location, she would book doctor’s appointments, get in touch with tutors, and make sure that you had all of the books that you needed for school. When you were sick, she would place long-distance calls to your pediatricians. When you all started dating, she always called to ask how everything was going. If they made you happy.”

Namjoon thought that his dad had done all of the heavy lifting in raising him and his siblings.

“Even from afar, she never stopped being your mom. You have to know that. And…with this separation that you’re going through in your marriage—it’s parallel to her experience.”

Like it or not, Namjoon wouldn’t be able to spend every waking hour with his child. That was something he had to come to terms with. But one thing’s for sure—he would do everything he could to make sure that that child was loved by both their parents.

“When I’m gone, your mom will be happy to help you through it. She’s just waiting for you to ask.”

******

The hospice nurse dropped by shortly after Namjoon and his dad spoke. They checked on vitals while Taehyung, Jin, and Namjoon came over to help turn their dad on the bed to prevent bedsores. The nurse makes sure that the patient wasn't under any discomfort, to which he assures them that he was not. They tell the family that a social worker should come by the next morning to check on his welfare before they leave.

Afterwards, Lina begins her husband’s night ritual. She empties out his bedpan and gives him his sponge bath, helping him into his pajamas.

In the last few days, he had gotten so frail. At times, he tried to cover himself up, almost ashamed that he was making her care for him.

But she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind at all. Any other actress her age would be grateful to retire with her final film or TV credit being an incredibly popular one. Even her agent would say that she still had a few more good years left in her. But when her husband fell ill, she was happy to give that all up. He had taken good care of her household–now, it was her turn to take care of him.

She fluffs his pillows, propping them behind him until he was comfortable. When she pulls his blanket up to his chest, he curls his fingers around her hand.

“Yeobo…”

“Yes, my love?”

“Are you happy?”

She chuckled lightly. “Of course I am. Why would you ask that?”

“I just wanted to make sure that you were.”

“Why wouldn’t I be, hm? What would make you think that?”

He laughs, accepting her answer.

“Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for getting the children back here.”

“You’re a big part of their lives. How could they not be here for you?” She smiled sadly. 

“I’m worried about them, Lina.”

She nods wistfully. “I know. But…I think they’ll be alright. You raised them after all.”

“No–we raised them,” he stressed. “You and me.”

“See, this is like you giving an award to a background actor,” she jests sarcastically.

He wheezed. “Yeobo–this is not a contest. The kids love you…hell, Jooni and Joobin think you’re this magical fairy queen who makes all of their dreams come true!”

“I’m making up for lost time…just like I am with you.”

“You never have to make up for lost time with me. What have we always said to each other? Keep moving forward…and–”

“Never leave things unsaid,” she finished.

It was an unconventional marriage–sure. But only they understood it and only they knew how to make it work. At the end of the day, it was their relationship. All that mattered was that they loved each other.

They stared at each other affectionately. 

He breaks the silence with a sardonic question. “What is it with an impending death and people suddenly becoming open books?”

She laughed, sighing deeply. “Well…I think it’s the fact that your children won’t be able to come to you for advice any longer.”

He laughed. “Come on. They’ll have you!”

“Please…Beomie,” She rolled her eyes, “I will never have that same connection with our kids the way you do.” she says sadly.

“And you won’t.”

She pauses, looking slighted.

“You won’t, because my connection with them is different from yours. I’m their father, you’re their mother. There will always be a different dynamic. But I know that they love us and we love them. You have this time now. And for the record, the kids have always appreciated you.”

She gave him a half-smile. “Except Namjoonie.”

He smiled enigmatically. “I have a feeling that things will turn around for both of you. I’ve always said that you two butt heads the most because you’re practically one and the same.”

“How unfortunate for him,” she says wryly.

“Aish…see? What did I tell you?” His laugh proves his point. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re just as hard on yourself as he is. You’re both your own worst critics.” He smiled with a soft crinkle in his eyes.

She smiles back, not wanting to argue any further.

“Will you be okay without me, yeobo?”

His question catches her off-guard. Her nose stings…her throat, suddenly thick with emotion, but she holds it back. One thing about Lina is that she can halt her tears as quickly as she can cry on command.

“It will be extremely hard but…I’ll be alright. I have to be,” she finished with a whisper, feeling her voice wavering.

He gazed at her reverently. “You’re the toughest person I know.”

“It’s all an act,” she chuckled, dismissing his comment.

He smiled. “But I’m not pretending. You should see what I see.” He struggles to reach up to cup her cheek. She knelt by his bed and leaned into his touch.

“I’m so grateful that you loved me enough to marry me…and gave me my beautiful children.”

She finally lets her tears go, grasping his hand and placing a kiss on it.  “I will never love anyone as much!”

Then, without further prompting, she climbs up on the bed next to him and they hold each other. They stayed like this for a while. She was just thankful that she could still feel his heart beating.

She craned her neck to look up at him. “Is there anything else that I can get for you?” 

“No. I have everything that I need right here, thank you.”

She smiled and kissed him. Afterwards, he starts to wheeze and goes into a coughing fit. She immediately reached for his cup but there was barely a tablespoon of water in it. She lets him drink it anyway to relieve him–and it does for a bit.

“Can I please have more?”

She’s hesitant to leave him but also doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable in case he coughs again. She thought about waking Taehyung down the hall but decides to walk downstairs to refill the drinking cup herself.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

She takes a few steps towards the door but he calls to her again.

She turns around, holding onto the doorframe, anticipating another request from him. “Yes, darling?” 

“Thank you for loving me.”

His remark warms her heart. “I love you, too, yeobo.”

When she walks out into the hallway, she takes a good look at all of the shut bedroom doors. It was quiet, not eerily, but in a sort of tranquil, almost blissful way. She quietly turns the knob on the first door adjacent to the master bedroom.

In it was Jin and Yoojung. She was tucked tightly in his arms while his head rested on hers. The next door she opened was Namjoon’s room–but in it was YN and her children sleeping in it. Joobin’s head was at YN’s feet while Jooni was curled up over her mom's head--like a cat. YN looked exhausted but still completely content with her children beside her.

The next room was Taehyung’s. He was sprawled out like a starfish. She chuckled softly, stepped inside and picked up the pillow and his blanket that he kicked to the floor. She cradled his head, slid the pillow underneath it and spread the covers over him.

She moves downstairs and into the basement, where Namjoon was snoring loudly. He looked so serene like this–as if he hadn’t been going through hell in the last few months. She brushed his forehead and planted a soft kiss on it.

Even though there was a cloud hanging over her house, she felt a sense of hope. She was prepared to take on her second act–making sure that this family gets through anything.

After she fills her husband’s cup with water, she makes her way back up the steps and back into their room. She rounded the corner of the bed and placed the cup on the rolling table next to him.

“Darling, would you like me to play one of your records to help lull you to sleep?”

She turned around to find that he was already asleep. It was the first time in days where he didn’t need a whole ritual to rest comfortably.

She leaned in, intending to give him a kiss but something in her made her stop short. She squeezed his earlobe gently. It usually made him stir.

He didn’t.

With a shaky breath, she held a trembling finger below his nostrils–she did not feel a waft of air come out of them.

She let out a sob but held her hand to her mouth so as not to wake the rest of the house. At least, not yet. She was angry at herself for leaving his side and letting herself getting distracted. She’d been robbed of his final moments.

But true to form, her husband always shielded her from the bad, as long as he could help it. He only wanted her to enjoy and remember the best moments–just as he had promised her when they got married.

She leaned in and gave him one final kiss, swiping at the tear that dripped from her eyes and onto his cheek.

He always gave–hardly leaving anything for himself. This was the one time that he wanted to do something selfish…under his terms.

“Thank you for loving me, too, yeobo.”

◤Previous | Sunshine | Part 7◥  | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

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Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @joeybeanxbts @raplinesmoon @kokoandkookie @ayoo-bangtan @agentsofshields @majamarantha @playmetheclassics @serendididy

[1-800-marvelswhore]

Nothing Even Matters (2)

genre>> eventual smut. angst. fluff. childhood best friends to lovers.

synopsis>> he was your best friend. nothing more. nothing less. you never thought he reciprocated your feelings... until he did, but you wanted him to achieve his dreams so you lie and deny any feelings for him. but at what cost?

warnings: a year has passed, brief time skips, reader struggles with alcohol, angst, yoongi is the best human, more hurt feelings , brokenhearted!taehyung, strong language, reader is broken but healing, reader has a heart to heart with her mom, good parenting, emotions!, flashbacks. mention of family death (father), jungkook, jimin, and hoseok all make cameos, brief fluff

word count>> 10.1k

note: Sorry this chapter took so damn long... writer's block is seriously no joke. But I made it longer and there's more in depth information about the reader. Thank you for your patience and Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy <3.

main masterlist series index

🎧: Drink Before the War by Sinéad O’Connor

and

🎧: Stranger by Katie Costello

A year has passed. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. That's how long it's been since you last saw Taehyung. That's how long it's been since you told him you hadn't any feelings for him knowing there was nothing more you wanted in life than to be with him and tell him you love him 1000 times.

You decided to get your life together rather than trashing your liver with more alcohol than you should be consuming. You attended Alcoholics Anonymous and you also had a sponsor. Ironically enough your sponsor wound up being no other than Min Yoongi. When you saw him at one of your AA meetings, the first thing you did was apologize and he let you know there was no hard feelings. Addiction is a tough battle, one that you were now prepared to fight because you made a promise and you intended to keep said promise.

You dealt with your alcoholism by deciding to throw yourself into work and while it wasn't the healthiest thing to do and it exhausted you, you figured this was the lesser evil. Not all of it was bad though because all your hard work enabled you to get a promotion one that you've wanted since before you had even landed the job at Kim Corp.

With him sponsoring you it was inevitable that you'd get close. You learned he was 4 years older than you and he didn't just bartend he'd actually own the same bar.

Sighing and beginning to get fed up with the amount of work you needed to complete, you texted Yoongi.

[You]: could use a break, up for coffee?

[Yoongi]: sure, buy me an americano with 2 shots of espresso and 1 cream :)

You snorted. While your addiction was alcohol, Yoongi's was definitely caffeine.

[You]: u should cut down on the caffeine yoongles. next think u know you're going to have a heart attack..

[Yoongi]: You would want that, wouldn't you?

[You]: pfft no, of course not.

[You]: anyways, I'm at the Cafe Jin.

[Yoongi]: No shit Sherlock, where else would you be?

[You]: I have half the mind to kill you right about now.

[Yoongi]: You love me too much, but I'm always there. Calm down, yeah?

As you walked into the cafe the smell of fresh coffee and muffins filled the air making you swoon. You always did enjoy the smell because it reminded you of your sleepovers with Taehyung... back in the good days at least. You ordered yourself a skinny vanilla latte and Yoongi's drink, paying for it before you sat at a table.

[Yoongi]: I'm down the block.

You didn't respond as you saw him strolling towards the cafe through the large glass windows. He was looking down at his phone with one hand in his pants pocket. To be frank, if you weren't madly in love with Taehyung you'd probably would have made a pass at Yoongi already, that man was attractive beyond words. All in all, your heart was spoken for.

"What're you so deep in thought for loser?" Yoongi smirked down at you making you scoff.

"You're the loser." You snorted gesturing for him to sit.

"So what's new?" He asked you. He was a relatively good sponsor and he was good at human interaction.

He dealt with alcoholism in his teenage years, but when he saw what it did to his mother he decided to stop drinking and fix his life up at the age of 18. Granted owning a bar was already the biggest form of self-control you've ever seen an alcoholic do. I mean if you surrounded yourself around liquor and other drunks your liver would have failed with haste.

"Nothing much," You shrugged. "I got a promotion offer, but that means I'll be in the field more and probably be away from home a lot. I don't know if I'm going to accept as of yet though." You fiddled with your fingers. A habit that started as you stopped drinking, you used to think it was a sign of withdrawal when in all reality it was just nerves.

"How could you not want to take that job? If I remember our conversations correctly, you've wanted that promotion since before you joined the company, no?" He asked rhetorically quirking an eyebrow before continuing. "Look kid. Take the job. You'll regret it if you don't." He said simply.

You knew he was right, I mean what did you have to lose? It was more money and an opportunity to travel, how could you even possibly think of passing such an offer up? The thing was though you were concerned about your mom, she was sick and you didn't want to risk anything happening in your absence.

It was just a risk you couldn't take.

"You're right, but what about my mom? Can't just leave her... she's not deathly sick, but she's sick enough for it to be concerning." You groaned.

"I bet you if you told your mom of this opportunity she'd tell you to take it in a heart beat. Stop making excuses, what's the real reason you don't want to take the job?" He quirked an eyebrow at you. In the year you've spent getting to know each other he's learned almost everything about you and vice versa.

It was a breath of fresh air to be able to share such personal matters with someone who wasn't Taehyung. You hadn't opened up to someone since him because you didn't trust easy, but with Yoongi it came naturally and though it surprised you, you welcomed the change with open arms.

"I guess you're right, but the truth of the matter is I'm way too paranoid to leave my mother. She's all I have which you know and I'm all she has too. My father lost his battle to lung cancer when I was three. I can't just leave her Yoongles." You sniffed fighting the tears that threatened to spill over.

Yoongi just smiled at you adoringly. He knew all the tribes and tribulations you faced in your life, but the fact that you had the heart to speak about them made him admire you. He wished you had someone that could be there for you when no one else was; an anchor if you will. He loved you as if you were his own blood.. which is why it was so easy for him to say these next words to you.

"How about... I take care of your mom whilst you're gone?" He saw your eyes widen before continuing, "I mean it's no big deal. You need and want this job and if this is what I have to do for you to take it then so be it. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, just think of me as the big brother you never had." He smiled at the look on your face. Your eyes were welled up with tears and your lips were quivering.

"I-I don't know what to say. I truly don't." You said softly letting one stray tear glide down your cheek before wiping it away quickly. You smiled happily at him. "Thank you so fucking much. I literally owe you my life right now."

"You don't owe me anything. Just remain sober, take the job, and travel the world. That's how you can pay me back." He shrugged.

At that moment your drinks had finally came and you and Yoongi fell into casual conversation. From your sobriety to future plans at least right now you felt happy... and you didn't even need alcohol. You were grateful for your sobriety & you'd hoped you wouldn't fuck up.

"Okay, so we're going to pay your mom a visit and let her know the news of her new caregiver; this guy!" Yoongi wiggled his eyebrows as his thumbs pointed towards himself. The actions made you snort as per usual. You took a sip of your latte moaning in delight when Yoongi spoke again. "Oh and Y/n?" You hummed in response. "Stop calling me Yoongles."

You simply smirked. "Never."

2 hours later...

You'd arrived at your moms house with Yoongi and you couldn't hold your excitement, you missed her so very much and you were happy that you finally got the chance to see her after almost 4 months. You moved the hydrangea flower vase to the side in search of the spare key and unlocked the door.

"Mom?? I'm here and I have a guest!" You screamed just in case she was upstairs. Her hearing wasn't as well as it used to be.

Your mom was relatively young... having you at 19 and all, but she's had lupus from age 14 and since she thought she couldn't carry kids full-term her and your dad never saw a reason to use protection. When she missed her period twice she never thought anything of it because her cycle was quite abnormal, but when her stomach began growing that's when she went to the doctor. She never had morning sickness with you- which was a blessing for her. You were born a month earlier than expected so you stayed in the NICU until you were 8 months. 5 out of those 8 months were tough, but your mom and dad pulled through and showered you with love... no matter how scared they were.

"Aish.. stop screaming so much child. I'm only in the kitchen." She scolded. "Now who's this guest you've brought over? Is it Taehyung? I miss that boy." She was making her tea to get ready to take her medicine so she hadn't noticed the way you froze when you heard his name.

Yoongi rubbed a soothing hand over your back hoping it'd calm you down a bit; it did.

"No, his name's Yoongi. He's my sponsor and kind of like a brother to me." You explained. Your mom turned and looked at you then Yoongi.

"Well you're quite handsome." She swoons with a coy smirk. Leave it to your mother to make a move on a younger guy.

"Ah thank you Mrs. L/n. You're quite beautiful too if I do say so myself." He flirted back which made you scrunch your face up in displeasure.

"Anyways... we've come to talk to you about something important... not for sexual tension. I got offered a promotion at my job, but it requires me to travel a lot and I'll be in the field more." You got right to the point not wanting to drag this any longer then it needs to.

"Okay? You'd better be taking the job," She paused to take her pills. "I don't want any excuses." She waved her hands about gesturing you to follow her to the living room and sit. "You have my answer now what else are you here for child?"

"Well, Yoongi offered to look after you because soon as I accept the job offer more than likely I'll be on the first plane out of here. He'll just make sure all is well and really it's more for my benefit than yours so in a way it works out. Especially given the fact that you seemed to take some weird interest in him." You stated. She simply blinked at you before moving her gaze to Yoongi.

"I'm not a cripple. And I don't expect you to treat me as such. I'm a capable woman, but if this is what it'll take for my daughter to take this job then so be it." She spoke curtly to Yoongi, who nodded in response.

You sighed heavily. That was one problem you could check off. The other? What about Taehyung... wouldn't this put an indefinite halt in your plans to wait for him? Truthfully, you knew you'd never give up on him- never in a million years, but could he wait? What if he's married, or has a child, or-

"Oi, what're you pondering about?" Your mom waved a hand in your face.

"Taehyung." You spoke softly, but honestly. He's been all you've been thinking about since that last day you saw him. It was hard to ignore the thoughts, but the majority of the time you were to your elbows in work so it helped. But just like alcohol it was just a temporary fix.

"Aw. Look I've known you and Tae since you both were 9 and 10. If it's love? You'll find your way back to each other. The universe has it's way of helping those who need help the most. It's so incredibly hard to get over someone whom you've handed your heart over, and there's not a doubt in my mind that Taehyung has been thinking about you just as much as you're thinking about him. You're beautiful smart and funny. That's why he fell for you in the first place. True love conquers all my daughter. True love conquers all." She hugged you and rubbed at your hair as you cried softly. You weren't sure when exactly the tears fell, but they did. And there was no stopping it.

"Look Y/n your mother's right. True love really is such a powerful thing and though I haven't experienced such a concept myself I know that it can be a beautiful thing. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get- only with what you are expecting to give and that's everything and more. Life isn't black and white; there's no such thing as you love someone or you don't. You never stop loving someone because genuine love never goes away." Yoongi shrugged as if he didn't just give you a sermon on love.

"Wow when did you become a love expert?" You teased wiping your tears, but still hugging your mom.

"Love, Actually. Tons of sappy romantic shit... I don't even know myself I was just spit balling there to be honest." He smirked lazily. "The point still stands, if he told you he loved you don't overthink things... you'll find your way back to each other and your love will blossom- yeah okay that's enough from me."

You simply smiled.

"For you to be "spit balling" you're quite the wise chap." Your mother praised approvingly making Yoongi fluster.

"Ah thank you, but I should be heading to work now. I'll leave my car so you can get home. The bar is 20 minutes away by train so and it was nice to meet you Ms. L/n see you soon." Before you could protest Yoongi dropped his keys in your lap and landed a kiss on your forehead. What a guy.

"What a guy." Your mom echoed your thoughts out loud making you laugh. She always did have a knack for doing such a thing.

"So want to watch the Marvel movies in timeline order?" You suggested beaming when you saw your mom's smile.

"I thought you'd never ask, go get some clothes. I never refurnished your room so all your stuff is still there. I'll get the popcorn and soda." She beamed happily making you coo. She really was the best mom ever.

You stalked upstairs to your room seeing that literally nothing changed in here. You went by your window seat and a cherished memory crept in the back of your mind, you were 14 and Taehyung was 15...

9 years ago...

You were sitting by your window seat reading, Jane Eyre. It was one of the most underrated books by the eldest of the Bronte sisters, but to you? It was one of the finest pieces of literature you've ever read. Of course, Wuthering Heights was indeed a popular read, but that's why you enjoyed the lesser significance of Jane Eyre- it made you feel different from the rest of the world and you loved that.

"Y/n!! Taehyung is here, I'm sending him upstairs okay?" Before you even thought of a response, Taehyung was right in front of your door making you flush.

"Well hello best friend, reading as always I see?" He teased you making you flip the bird. All it did was cause him to laugh and you couldn't stop yourself from adoring the way his cheeks puffed up. You loved his smile. You loved him. At least as much as a 14 year old could love.

"Yeah well at least I'm getting smarter while your brain cells rot away as you just play video games and watch vines all day." You scoffed. He gasped in mock offense.

"How rude! Your best friend title should be revoked!" He hmphed making you snort.

"You'd die before you replace me... we both know that." You joked. "Anyways what're you doing here? I wasn't aware of this impromptu visit." You spoke before marking your page and closing your book.

"Well that's exactly why it's called impromptu little girl. Use that big head of yours." You kicked him in the shin making him howl out in pain.

"That's what you get and stop letting your year over me gas your head. It's quite irritating." You sat with your legs folded in your seat staring out the window.

"When I get older I'm gonna work as a ghost painter. Nobody would know that any of the art I create is mine- except you of course because you're not nobody. My name would be V for Vincent Van Gogh," He smiled cheekily making you blush. "The anonymity would be the best part because while being a ghost painter, I'll also be a photographer, but with my real identity. I'm thinking I'll do candid shots of people admiring my work without them knowing that I know they don't know that it's me who's work they fell in love with." He spoke so passionately about it. He took a beat before continuing. "Hopefully my career as a photographer will take off because I want to move to Paris and see my paintings in the same museums or galleries as Picasso, Michelangelo, Da Vinci , and more!"

He had his whole future planned. All you could do was stare at him longingly, but that was just as far as you could go for you knew he'd never be yours. You fight the urge to kiss him and instead decide to ask him more questions about his plans for his life. And the best part? You were apart of every moment he spoke of. Making your chest get heavy with emotion.

That's Kim Taehyung for you. Your best friend.

*End of Flashback*

Your eyes filled with tears at the memory. You had been stalking the internet for Taehyung- well "V" and noticed that his paintings were a rave internationally. It was no wonder he'd get an invitation to Paris, all his works spoke to you as if telling a story in just watercolors or oils. You were especially impressed by the fact that he'd also become a huge deal in photography, but you had no doubt in your mind that he'd succeed in exactly what he wanted.

You shook your head, wiping your tears, instead deciding to start digging through your dresser for clothes. You were still relatively within the same weight range as your teenage self so you were able to fit the pajama set you picked out with no problem. Your hips grew a bit, but your pants still fit snugly. You proceeded down stairs and saw your mom had the popcorn and soda out just as she said she would.

You didn't know much about what the future would bring, but one thing you knew for sure was you were gonna miss your mom and you were going to miss her a lot.

2 days later...

You sighed heavily as you looked up at the huge building that is Kim Corps, to say you were nervous was definitely an understatement. You were worried that you'd fuck something-anything up and lose the job of your dreams, but you were hopeful. You hadn't lost all faith in yourself and you weren't going to start now.

"Okay let's do this." You muttered to yourself stepping into the building. You ears filled with the sound of people chattering and the smell of the cafeteria filled your nostrils making you sigh contently. As nervous as you were, you always did love the smell of coffee and bagels in the morning. It gave you a homey sense and you loved it. You made your way straight to the elevators pressing the 12th floor.

You were 20 minutes early, but you know what they say; the early bird gets the worm- or in your case the promotion. I mean there was no competition for your spot, but you'd rather not be late to such an important meeting. You were going to figure out where the first place on the field would be and you were nauseous just as much as you were excited. It was nerve wracking how much you'd wanted to go somewhere such as New Amsterdam, Rome, Paris... but you're not sure you want to go to Paris anymore.

It's not that you didn't want to it's more like you'd rather not bump into Taehyung in a foreign country because... well does there need to be a reason?

The elevator stopped at the 12th floor and you braced yourself mentally praying that you'd get somewhere that's beautiful, but not too distracting. But you know how these cliche's go... Of course you'd go somewhere that's beautiful, but next thing you know, you're hit by a bus. You laughed at the thought and you knew it wasn't funny, but if you can't joke about dying can you joke at all?

The sounds of your heels clicking against the tile floors was the only thing you heard as you made your way to the CEO's office. Your legs were shaking and your hands were jittery as you opened the door. You were immediately greeted by the sight of a conference table and 6 other bodies occupying the seats.

"Ah Y/n!" Your boss, Kim Namjoon, greeted. "Your quite early, but that's fine I do love a dedicated employee. Punctuality is a big thing in the business world. Aish I'm talking too much.. please take a seat." He gestured to the chair across from where he was seated.

"Good afternoon Y/n, I'm Park Jimin, I'll be helping you on the field wherever we go." He beamed at you. You almost cooed at the way his eyes crinkled, but you held back.

"Nice to meet you." You spoke quietly. You didn't want to come off too strong, but you didn't want to come off as a shy little girl either so you decided to just speak calm and collected.

"Right on with it then, Y/n your first assignment will be of 8 months in Paris. What you'll be doing is working on advertising with out partner; Dubois Inc. It's pertinent that you make a good impression. Given the fact that you are a foreigner, that doesn't speak French, however will prove to make the transition a little more complicated than it needs to be. But I have no doubt in my mind that you'll be able to adjust. The 2 men to your right will be your assistants and they will help you with whatever you need. Al good thus far?" He looked at you with a strong gaze that almost made you cower.

No it wasn't all good. You were going to Paris... that much was inevitable and you knew that and the reality of the situation you were in was sinking in slowly. You'd be better off not going to Paris, but you couldn't say anything to your boss... no that would make you seem ungrateful plus Paris really is one of the most beautiful cities so how bad could it be?

"Yes all good Mr. Kim, I'm very happy to be able to go to Paris and you won't regret hiring me sir." You nodded curtly.

"Oh I have no doubt in my mind about that. You're free to leave. Your plane ticket and hotel booking have been sent to your email and feel free to request anything in your favor. You're free to leave, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok will all meet you in Paris." And with that you held in your squeal and left the room with haste.

Though you'd be in Paris, how could you possibly bump into Taehyung when it's such a grand city? There was no way. Literally the only way would be fate; and you haven't had much faith in fate so there's that. It was a placebo to you; the idea of fate. It gives hope, but when such a thing doesn’t happen it crushes a persons faith.

As you were walking your phone rang and it read ‘Yoongles’ on the screen which made you immediately pick up just in case it had anything to do with your mom. Jeez you weren’t even in Paris yet and you were worried. This oughta prove to be harder than initially thought.

“Hello?” He spoke first which surprised you because he never spoke first.

“Hey Yoongles, everything alright?” You inquired immediately wasting no time. He simply chuckled.

“Yes everything is fine Y/n, I was just calling because I know the interview was today and just wanted to see where they’d be sending you first.” The thoughtfulness made you smile. You knew he had a soft spot for you, but this was just something else.

“Ohhh, yeah they’re sending me to Paris. Irony truly is a cruel mistress don’t you think? Whatever I guess.” You pouted even though he couldn’t see you.

“Ah though Paris is a beautiful city all I care about is your sobriety and happiness. Do you think you can handle the possibility of seeing him? On the off chance it’s possible, I mean.” He questioned carefully.

“Honestly? I’m not even sure yet, but don’t worry about that… I’ll immediately contact you if I feel as though I might relapse.” You bit your lip. You’d hoped that you would contact him… You hoped that you wouldn’t go off the deep end. You prayed. You’ve come so far and you’d really rather not risk it all. 

“Y/n? Are you completely sure you can trust yourself to contact me when the urge comes? I ask because it WILL come and it might throw your mind for a loop. I just want to consider all our options. If you do feel as though you wouldn’t be able to see him then I can talk to Namjoon. He’s an old friend of mine anyway.” Yoongi suggested. That was new information for you. You had no idea Yoongi knew your boss, but then again how could you? You never asked. 

“N-no it’s fine I swear. There’s a shit ton of artwalks in Paris so on the off chance I run into him then… I’ll distract myself with some Picasso and Van Gogh. You know me Yoongles. I’ll be fine.” You reassured. Though you weren’t even sure yourself at this point. But you know what they say; fake it till you make it right? 

“Alright, well I’m proud of you kid. Can’t believe you’re going to Paris without me.” You couldn’t see him, but you could hear the mock pout on his face which put a smile on yours. 

“Don’t be sad Yoongles, when I make enough money then I’ll take you on a trip to Paris.” You teased. You were serious though with all his help through your sobriety he’d deserve a trip out the country. And you’d be more than happy to be the one in order to do so. 

“Oh you’re gonna be a big baller huh? I love that for you loser.” He chuckled softly. There was a beat of silence before he continued, “All jokes aside though I am going to miss you. Not that much, but I’m going to miss you.” He sniffed. You knew Yoongi enough to know if he got emotional you meant a lot to him so hearing his sniffles? Definitely made your eyes water. “I love ya kiddo and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Remember that.” 

And remember that you will. How could you forget? You knew Yoongi would be calling you everyday checking up on you making sure you’re still sober and just because he missed you. 

“I will and I love you too Yoongles.” You smiled sadly. You were gonna miss him and your banter. It won’t be the same over the phone, but you had to do what you had to do. This job opportunity was one in a million… you’d be insane to reject such a considerable offer. You knew that much. “I have to go because I have to pack, but tell my mom I love her and be sure to take care of yourself.” He hummed and you hung up. 

A day later…

This was it. You’d be leaving for Paris in 18 hours and there was still so much that needed to be done. You still have yet to finish packing and you know you shouldn’t be procrastinating this much because you’re usually a prompt person, but something- somehow is holding you back from getting your shit together. You knew what that something was, but you chose to ignore it for the sake of your sobriety and general health. All in all you were still on the verge of an anxiety attack. As if pshycologically sensing your inner battle Yoongi called. He was always good at doing that. You picked up hastily and heard his voice. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” He said as soon as you picked up. You sighed in relief at the sound of his voice; he always could calm you down from anxiety attacks. 

“H-hey Yoongles.” You replied back shakily. Instantly he knew what was wrong. 

“Woah, Y/n are you okay? Do you need me to come over? You sound like you’re hyperventilating and that usually results in anxiety attacks… so tell me right now if I need to come over.” He all but demanded in worry. You inhaled sharply trying to focus on breathing before responding. 

“N-no I’m fine… just being on the phone with you is helping me calm down a ton so thank you. You always know when I need your help.” You attempted to joke, but Yoongi remained silent. “I’m serious I’m fine Yoongles.” That nickname always softened him up and you’d hoped it’d do so right now. 

It did. Sort of. 

“Fuck. I’m so worried about you all the time… I’m gonna be a nervous wreck when you go to Paris and I just-” He stopped talking suddenly and exhaled a large breath. “I’m just going to want to beat myself up if anything happens to you over there.” 

“Hey man nothing’s gonna happen. Have some faith in me, yeah?” You teased. You knew his worry was coming from how much he’s seen you struggle this past year, but you didn’t want him to worry this much… you hate being a burden more than anything. 

“I have faith in you. I don’t, however, have faith in the temptation of alcohol. You’ve done great this past year, but if you happen to bump into Tae-” You winced at the name so Yoongi corrected himself, “That guy… the temptation and urge to drown yourself in alcohol will become so hard to ignore and I won’t be there physically to help. You know?” He spoke softly not wanting to say anything that you’d take the wrong way.  Little did he know… nothing he says does anything but help you. 

“Yoongi you’ve done more than enough and let the fact that I just called you Yoongi instead of Yoongles sink in because you know how serious I am once I use your actual name rather than your nickname,” You paused. “Besides you can always come visit; so long as you bring my mom, of course because she’s always wanted to come to Paris too.” 

He simply chuckled and there was another beat of silence. One thing that you loved about your relationship with Yoongi was everything was so easy; conversations, admissions, confessions, revelations… it never seemed like a chore with him. It’s blasphemous that you met him in a  bar, but you’re grateful you were a regular and there isn’t anything you would change. 

“Alright little sis I’m gonna let you get to packing because we both know that you’ve yet to finish and you can’t put this off anymore. You leave tomorrow. Well technically at the ass crack of dawn, but same difference anyhow. I love you and see you tomorrow.” His voice wavered knowing he was possibly on the verge of tears made you bite your lip to refrain from having an emotional breakdown. 

“O-okay bye Yoongles.” You quickly hung up and folded into yourself on your bed like a kid. You’d hoped that Paris would be worth all this emotional strain. You really did. If not? You don’t know what you’d do. 

You put your “Cure my Depression” playlist on shuffle and got to packing knowing there was no more procrastination that could be done. You needed this job and the benefits that came with it. You inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly. You got this, you told yourself. 

17 Hours Later… 

You were at Incheon International Airport outside of Gate 6 waiting for the announcer to announce flight 180. Ironic (bit of a Final Destination reference). You were almost ready to board your plane, but right now? You were in a bear hug with your mom and Yoongi. Tears were shed and sad smiles were shared. Some shit you’d see in a sappy RomCom if you do say so yourself. Just without the romance because you knew very well there was no type of romanticism in your life. At least not at the moment. 

“Don’t forget to FaceTime us everyday even if just for 2 minutes. If you don’t I will hop on the next flight to Paris with no hesitation.” Your mom playfully scolded to which you just nodded. You’d definitely be calling them; so much so they may just get tired of you. In any case, they’d be getting calls. Whether they’re annoyed or not. 

“Oh don’t worry you’re sure to get tired of me with how much I’m going to be calling. Yoongi just make sure you’re by your phone at ALL times. If  I happen to bump into that man in any circumstances the first thing I’m doing is calling you. Mom. Please don’t worry yourself about me. I know I’m going rather far, but I’m a call away. Don’t stress too much. I love you both. I should probably get to my gate,” You squeezed them in one more bittersweet hug. “I’ll call when I land.” They nodded and you hauled yourself  and your luggage towards your plane. 

You internally prayed (to whatever God you may or may not believe in) that you’d have a safe unproblematic flight to Paris. You’d hoped that nothing would happen as you took off. And you really hoped the turbulence wouldn’t be too much to handle. You didn’t have a fear of planes because you knew what came with them and you always expected the expected the unexpected. However, you did have a fear of dying. As you walked to the gates you imagined the song “Worldwide” playing by Big Time Rush. It was one of your favorite childhood songs and you’d imagined yourself as Jo when she was leaving Kendall. 

“Last call for flight 180 to Paris, France. Last call for Flight 180 to Paris, France.” The announcement spoke as you arrived in front of the door to your plane. You looked back once more and sighed heavily. “Bye Korea. You will be missed.” You whispered more to yourself than anything. Saying goodbye to your home was a bittersweet feeling. You don’t think you’d survive longer than these 8 months. You hoped all will go well and the time will pass by quickly.” 

You handed your ticket to the stewardess outside of the landing gate and made your way inside the plane. Your seat and the seats next to you were empty whilst the rest of the plane was empty. You hadn’t expected that given the fact that you were flying economy, but you were grateful nonetheless. 

“Can I help you with anything to eat, drink or read? This is quite the long flight and I will be available at any point in time you may need something.” A flight attendant of the name Sinead told you. 

“No thank you.” You responded politely to which she nodded with a smile and walked to the next person. You figured if you slept at least through half of this ride the anxiety you felt creeping into your skin would pass by easier. So that’s what you did. You slept. 

12 hours and 25 minutes later… 

Much to your surprise you were sleep for the entirety of the flight. Only time you had woken up was to use the restroom, but immediately after you went back into your deep slumber. It felt good and from what you could tell there wasn’t much turbulence… well if there was you didn’t feel it and that pleased you greatly. On your way down from the escalator you saw Park Jimin standing at the bottom with your namecard. You were shocked at how quickly they got to Paris, but you assumed they had a private jet of some sort so you’re not too surprised. 

“Hello Ms. L/n” He smiled at you. You thought he was charming and damn near cooed at the way his eyes turn into tiny crescent moons. But you held yourself back. 

“Ah greetings Mr. Park fancy seeing you here.” You teased now reaching him. He smelled of wood and vanilla. The cliche man smell you reckon. 

“Ah mademoiselle no need for formalities.”  He winked, “We should get going we kind of have to get to HQ and I believe we are running late already. Shall we?” Jimin held his arm out to which you hastily grabbed. You almost retracted it, but his smile reassured you. 

“Work on my first day in Paris… Such a shame.”  You tsked playfully. It was already beyond easy to joke around and converse with Jimin and you were happy about that because you always did hate those typical boss-assistant relationships in which the foundation of their relationship is simply the boss having superiority over the assistant. Yeah, you didn’t believe in that. It was belittling and having been in that position before… you’d be damned if you treated someone as such. 

“Ah, but once we settle in HQ and send to Mr. Kim that we’ve touched base then we can explore all of what Paris has to offer. Especially the Lourve because I know you want to go there. Who wouldn’t?” Jimin chuckled softly. He was walking briskly yet calm. His whole demeanor seemed to calm you down tenfold. “Ah right… Hoseok should already be at HQ since he landed before us so hopefully it isn’t too much to be done. I know you must have jet lag.” 

You shrugged though he was completely right. “It’s no biggie. At the end of the day this is a promotion so I knew I would have more work then I did previously. I worked hard for this promotion and I’ll do whatever must be done in order to not disappoint Mr. Kim.” Jimin just smiled at you making you flush. You cleared your throat. “Should we?” You motioned to the car in front of you. 

“After you.” He winked whilst opening the door to the Lincoln sedan. You would’ve whistled at the sight of it, but you figured it was just any other town car. Except it wasn’t it had tinted windows and from what you could tell… a fresh coat of matte black paint. The interior was leathered up and it seemed as if this car had just came from repo. Whatever the case may be… there was no denying that this car was a beaut. Jimin slid in next to you still smiling. You noticed that he smiles a lot more than the average person and you found that admirable… In a world such as this one, it’s hard to find happiness so you’re quite impressed that he’s able to smile. 

“We’re going to HQ.” Jimin told the driver in English. The driver nodded and drove off with haste.  Just when you thought you couldn’t get any more impressed by this guy he goes and gives you another reason. 

“You’re impressive, Park Jimin. You’ll make for a good assistant I reckon. I hope there is never any tension between the two of us and I hope that you feel comfortable enough to be around me in order to open up to me whenever you see fit. I am your boss, but I never want to make you feel as though you are under me. We shall have boundaries of course, but other than that I’m an open book.” You spoke quick but Jimin was hanging on to every word you uttered. 

“Okay Ms. L/n.” He snorted and you nudged him in response. “In any case I’ve no choice but to respect you more than I would those who’re on the same level of employment as me. So thank you for giving me freedom, but I shall not take advantage of it.” He looked at you studiously as if trying to read your expression before it came on your face. 

“I’m glad we have reached an understanding.” You nodded sternly yet playfully. You were rather impressed with his work ethic and easy understanding of common principles. You knew you were his boss and that he should have more of a respect for you than the common person, but you didn’t like the feeling of superiority. He just nodded in response and the rest of the drive was silent. However, it was a comfortable silence not one of awkwardness. 

“We’re here bosses.” The chauffeur, who’s name you learned is Haechul, stated. You nodded and stepped out the car. From what Jimin has told you you figured that your bags had already made it to the hotel you would be staying at while you were here. You’d wondered if you’d have your own room or if you had to share, but that was a bridge to walk when you got there. As for now… you’re fine with the mystery. (this isn’t that kind of trope so no it won’t be Taehyung) 

“Thank you Haechul. You’re free to go on break. Don’t come back until we call you for assistance.” You commanded to which he nodded curtly. You really did despise the way most bosses treated their employees so you swore to yourself when you became successful and had employees of your own you’d never treat them the way you had to be treated before your success. While it may have shaped you to be the kind of employee you are now, you figure you could be way better had you been treated with more respect. Or maybe if your previous boss wasn’t such a womanizer… You hadn’t realized that as your thoughts took over Jimin had said something and you only caught the last bit. 

“...Dinner?” You looked at Jimin and blinked. Was he asking you to dinner? That’d be quite inappropriate you reckon. Maybe ask him to repeat himself..? 

“I’m truly sorry, but could you repeat that? I only caught on to the last part of the question.” You said kindly to which Jimin just laughed. 

“Yes, I asked if after the Lourve you’d want to get dinner? Of course it’d be rather inappropriate of me to try and attend dinner with you which is why I was going to recommend a good diner that you can get takeout from.” He shrugged simply. 

“Oh… well yes I guess that’d be good. I do feel as though before we go to the Lourve I’d like to visit an art walk- a street one that is.” You thought about the possibility of seeing one of Taehyung’s paintings there and you really would want to see one in person. You haven’t seen one of his artworks in person since forever and it’d make you happy. 

“Luckily for you, there’s always one open about two blocks away from the museum therefore you can go before or after.” He smiled which made you nod with a small smile of your own. 

“Thank you Jimin.” He gestured in front of him as if telling you to lead the way which you were baffled by seeing as though this was your first time at Paris’ headquarters. You shot him a look of concern to which he snickered. 

“Just go straight to the lift and go to the top floor ma’am.” As you walked in the building you noticed the elegant interior… it gave off the perfect “French Renaissance” theme and you adored it wholeheartedly. There was a front desk; which you assumed was the receptionist. You read her name tag and learned her name was Avril, she smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes so you greeted her with a curt nod and kept walking through what seemed to be an endless corridor. 

Without realizing you must’ve stumbled into the lift because the doors were closing and you were on your way to the top of the building. Perhaps you were so in awe you hadn’t minded your step… in any case this life was exceptionally extravagant. The music was the instrumental to “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. You let your thoughts take over and began feeling bad for Jack Dawson. Personally you thought he could have survived & that there was room for both him and Rose. That whole movie was rather depressing if you did say so yourself. 

You adored it though. Such a tragic love story, but written so beautifully. The movie took such a impactful event in history and romanticized it the perfect amount so it doesn’t stray away from the fact that the sinking of the Titanic was indeed a rather melancholy occurrence. You were stripped from your thoughts when the elevator came to a sudden stop. You straightened your posture and walked through the doors ready to take on the day ahead of you. 

“Ah, you must be L/n, F/n! I’m Jung Hoseok which I’m sure Mr. Kim told you, however if he didn’t than I must formally introduce myself.” He was smiling- beaming even and you enjoyed the positivity greatly and he put his hand out for you to shake which you did.  

So with a smile of your own you responded, “Nice to meet you! I just want to thank you in advance for all of your assistance on this promotion.” You dropped his hand and he bowed. 

“No need to thank me! Just doing my job. Now the office here is not so different from the one in Seoul… only difference is you’re working with more foreigners than anything. However, French people are evidently easy to work with and they cooperate because they like to get things done efficiently. Mr. Kim wants our first task to be trying to entrap new clientele.. I’m not entirely sure why, but half of me thinks he just wants us to scour Paris on our first day. Don’t tell him I said that,” He stopped briefly and tapped his chin as if in thought. “Ah and Jimin will take you to the rented house that you’ll be living in. Completely paid for by the company so no need to worry about funds unless for food.” You nodded. Though that was a lot of information to take in so quickly you respected his efficiency. 

“Thank you Hoseok, you’ve truly been the most helpful thus far. Now Jimin tells me that there’s an artwalk close by the Lourve… do you know how far the museum is from here? Is it walking distance or might I have to rent a Vespa?” You inquired. You really were anxious, but you were more intrigued at the possibility of seeing one of Taehyung’s pictures and you know what they say; go big or go home. And you just left home so going big was the obvious choice here.  

“Ah yes it truly is a sight at night. It’s a 15 minute walk for the “average” walker, but you don’t seem to be an average walker so roughly 10 minutes by foot. It really depends on the speed in which you walk.” He rambled on. You found it admirable more than anything else though. 

“Thank you again Hoseok, I’ll see you tomorrow for the first official day of work… well in the office that is.” You smiled at him and he returned the smile with no hesitation. He bowed at you and walked off. The hard part wasn’t necessarily even going to the artwalk itself, the hard part would be not to breakdown in front of all his photographs and paintings because you know there is always a message behind what Taehyung does… you just weren’t emotionally ready to deal with it as of yet. 

2 hours later… 

You were getting ready for the artwalk when you got a notification to your phone; a text from Yoongi. You were expecting it sooner or later you just didn’t think it’d be this much later. 

[Yoongles]: How’s the city of love going for ya? 

[You]: there’s currently no loving over here, but for everyone else? I’m sure they’re doing superb :p 

[Yoongles]: Ah, don’t be such a Debby Downer baby sis. You got this! So how was the first day? Hectic? Tiring? Boring? Dreadful? 

[You]: None of the above actually. It was hardly a first day because well all I did was visit headquarters and met my two assistants, but other then that? It was a pretty calm and chill day. 

[You]: Oh and I’m going to visit an artwalk later… for no particular reason at all of course, but you know me! I love me some art :) 

[Yoongles]: Y/n… do you think me a fool? (don’t answer that it was rhetorical) 

[Yoongles]: You think I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours? You hope to see a work of he who shall not be named. 

[You]: I never implied that you didn’t know what was going through my head,,, as a matter of fact I was hoping you did! 

[Yoongles]: There’s nothing I can say that’ll convince you NOT to go I’m assuming… just be careful and if by chance- or fate whatever you choose to call it.. You see him? Don’t resort to drinking make sure you call me immediately. Otherwise.. Have fun <3. 

[You]: Yes Sir! <3 

You turned your phone off and sighed anxiously. You want to believe you’ll be fine, but there is still a chance that you may have to see Taehyung. And while it hasn’t been too long of a time well it’s still been a long time. 365 days? Yeah a very long time in your book. You’d hope that the first time you saw him he wouldn’t be too angry with you, but knowing Taehyung you knew that was wishful thinking. He wasn’t one to forgive easily- especially when it came to his feelings about something. What would he do when he saw you? That same thought was constant in your head and it was one of your biggest worries. However, you hoped for the best. You flinched at the sound of your doorbell ringing knowing it was more than likely Jimin coming to pick you up.  

“Coming! Give me a second just going to make sure that everything is off!” You took a quick skim of your apartment and took a deep breath for the nth time this night. To say you were nervous would be the understatement of the century, but you were hopeful. You believed in destiny and you hoped destiny wouldn’t let you down. 

You opened the door and saw- not Jimin but Jungkook? He looked up from his phone and gave you a bright smile which you caught yourself almost cooing at. 

“Jimin told me to extend his apology for not being able to make it tonight he was needed back in the office for preparation things. But I will happily escort you to the artwalk Ms. Y/n.” He bowed to which you immediately shook your head at. 

“No need for the formalities Jungkook. Thank you for your consideration. Let’s go shall we?” To which he stepped to the side extending his arm and nodding the same way fancy waiters do when taking you to your booth. Jungkook closed the door behind you and so the adventure began. 

“What are you most excited about seeing?” Jungkook inquired. You found it admirable that he would make small talk during this walk therefore the silence wouldn’t make everything so awkward. You knew you couldn’t really tell him that this was some sort of way to stalk your ex-bestfriend to see how his art has either changed or not changed from when you guys were teenagers, but you didn’t want to lie either. 

“An old friend of mine? Well, his name has been big in the world of art lately so I wanted to see if there was a chance I’d see some of his works in local artwalks. He’s always been such a great artist even when we were teenagers so I’m sure he’s been recognized enough around the world.” Jungkook just nodded in response. “Anything you’re particularly interested in?” You countered. 

“I like photography, but like vintage and candid. Photography has always been a hobby of mine, but I like the corporate world more which confuses a lot of people.” He shrugged. 

“That’s very admirable. Maybe in the future I can see some of your pictures if I’m not imposing of course.” You smiled to which he returned. As you were roaming the streets of Paris you noticed why this was such a tourist spot. The nights were exceptionally beautiful and you enjoyed the finer things in life such as a beautiful night under the stars. The stars in Paris definitely shined brighter which you loved. 

“Ah here we are it’s past that alley there.” He pointed in an alley where you heard a violin and other instruments. All of a sudden you were overcame with nerves… what if Taehyung was there? What would his reaction be to you admiring his art after you messed with his heart? Would he mind? Your mind was running every scenario possible (Pipe down Doctor Strange) and of course your own subconsciousness was against you and thought this whole interaction could go wrong rather than right. Why did you decide to give up the alcoholic life again?! 

You inhaled and exhaled deeply before smiling up at Jungkook. “Let’s go shall we?” He nodded and led the way. As soon as you reached the alley you were overcome with the smell of fresh French pastry and music. It was honestly the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Your eyes lit up in admiration as soon as artwork came into your view. There were different types ranging from abstract to realism even cubism which you heard was hard to perfect. “Wow.” You sighed out loud. 

“Yeah it’s all very beautiful a lot of these pieces took artists months if not years to finish.” Jungkook explained while admiring some photography. 

“I’m going to explore more, if you need me just text me and we can regroup and vice versa.” He nodded and you walked off. Anxiety and excitement both filling you as you were ready to possibly see some of Taehyung’s work. As you were admiring you noticed a painting that looked familiar and sure enough… V was signed at the bottom right of the portrait. I mean of course it looked familiar… It was you. Tears welled up in your eyes. How did he manage to make you look better with nothing but paint and a canvas? You really loved this man. While you were awestruck you hadn’t noticed the artist himself a mere 2 feet away.. Simply admiring you as you admired his favorite painting. 

Taehyung’s POV: 

All feeling of resentment left Taehyung as he saw you. You looked amazing under the moonlight and lanterns and his heart began racing as if he was a teenager loving you from a distance all over again. This whole year he worked on nothing else but this portrait and seeing your reaction made all that time worth it. In his mind he knew that you would be reunited, but he sure didn’t think it’d be this soon. But is it really that soon if he counted the days he was left without seeing your smile? He wasn’t sure if he should talk to you or not because he didn’t want to possibly say the wrong thing. While he spent this time missing you he also had a lot of pent up anger and resentment towards you. It was a rational reaction he thought.. At least when you weren’t in front of him, but now he’s not so sure. He was about to walk away and leave you to it, but you looked up and he got lost in your eyes. Curse your keen instincts… You always did have a good gut feeling when someone was staring at you. Taehyung didn’t break the eye contact even as his heart got heavy and memories began rushing back in his mind 10 fold. He couldn’t. Your eyes stared back into his and your mouth was slightly agape. It seemed you two were the only ones in the world at that moment and it was as if the Earth itself stopped rotating. It was as though neither of you wanted to ruin whatever on Earth this trance was so you remained still. Staring. 

Somehow in the midst of all this staring Taehyung’s legs moved and he was in front of you. Tall as ever. Still no words were spoken… until Taehyung decided he had stared enough and reached his hand up and caressed your cheek softly resting his palm there for a second. “Y/n… I’ve missed you.” Were the first words he said to you. Taehyung let his mouth speak for him before his mind could catch up. 

“Taehyung.” You said softly now holding his hand that was on your cheek. 

Both of you knew there was tons to speak about but right now in this moment you both thought it could wait a bit. You were in your own old world now and you both wanted to remain there before you had to face the music and face decisions that could possibly alter any sense of normalcy. 

No, that’s for fantasy.. This is real life. 

Reader POV: 

“No… I can’t just pretend everything is okay. You hurt me Y/n.. hurt me too much. It took a lot for me to even confess and you turned me down, I understand why, but no. I’m going to need time before I can just jump back into our regular selves.” Taehyung removed his hand from your cheek and immediately you missed the warmth his hand brought you. You gulped before deciding to speak. 

“I know Taehyung trust me I know. But we both needed that time. I dealt with my alcoholism and I’m better. I wanted to be better so that when we found each other again I could be someone worthy of your love. I know it was selfish of me, but I wanted you to pursue your dream here in Paris. But NOT while I was an alcoholic who couldn’t go a day without drinks. I’ve been sober for the past 365 days. You inspired me to be better and I’m so so grateful for you. You’ve made a big name for yourself and I’ve never been more proud. I love you. More than what you may think. Take the time you need, I’ll wait for you no matter what.” You wiped a stray tear from your cheek and took a step back. Taehyung didn’t respond rather he pulled you into a tight embrace and gave you a kiss on the forehead. 

“Tomorrow. Meet me at the Eiffel Tower. 8 pm. Sharp. If you’re not there I will leave and we won’t have the much needed conversation we need to have.” And with that he walked off into the night without a glance back. You were shaking, but hopeful. 

Tomorrow at 8 pm would change everything. You were sure. 

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[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Jun & Jun S1

You know, I guess it makes sense that some idols eventually take a day job. K-Pop, like football, is a hard and fast career

Very bold of Lee Jun to be shushing his cashier as he himself chose to buy something while on the phone

"Is he an angel or a god or something?" said Lee Jun, after this businessman (Jun #2, maybe) accepted his request to hitchhike to Gangnam with them

"There were a lot of lost pigeons at the station too. Why didn't you pick all of them up?" said Presumably Jun #2's friend Yeong, as if she had not also been picked up from the station like a pigeon

Why IS Jun #2 so pleased? Is it just having a handsome man in his car, or is he a fan of Jun #1's former K-Pop era LMAO

"Unless it's your job to be friendly and nice, I think you need to be compensated." Insane take. Lee Jun said: Manners are for customer service workers and the poor

I really did think for a second that Jun #1 was autographing this milk as financial compensation instead of exchanging contacts:

Is it actually a norm to not take the elevator with your boss, or is that just something they're doing for K-Drama Romance LOL?

"You said you'd return the favour. I wanted to do you a few more favours." Jun #2 said: The flirting starts NOW

I like Jun #2. It was funny of him to withhold that he was the Director until he could use it as a punchline

Realistically though, wouldn't the manager also hire him? LOL

"Nepotism? Didn't we all benefit from that? We were hired through recommendations too." Lady Intern said: Nepotism is fine if we all acknowledge it

Respectfully: Jun #2 doesn't look like he's worked an office job a day in his life. He simply radiates Male Model

"What kind of person... is that person? Is it Team Leader Song Hyeon Jae?" This onboarding interview feels SO emotionally intimate, and for what

I was not expecting to get an immediate answer to that question in the form of a flashback:

"That's why it became a habit to remember Choi Jun and miss him." Don't we all have a very close friendship from our youth that we miss that upon further reflection probably had gay-adjacent undertones on at least one side (am I being too specific)

Also, this makes the way that Jun #2 was just like, radiating love and affection in interview make much more sense. I was just willing to accept it as an acting choice

"He uses an emoticon like that? How cute. The emoticon, I mean." LMAOO why is Lee Jun narrating his DMs with his boss aloud for all the other interns to hear

"Enjoy your relationship." Assigned Gay at the Coffee Shop

I don't know if she's a one-off character but I like the barista. Her look of what-did-I-just-say post customer service interaction was endearing

"Did he see me on TV? How did he recognize me?" WHY DOES LEE JUN NARRATE HIS THOUGHTS OUT LOUD ALL AROUND HIS OFFICE, IT'S SO FUNNY. HE'S MONOLOGUING TO THE AUDIENCE

Even if Choi Jun has another shirt, why is he encouraging stripping in the kitchen? Find a bathroom, you lunatics!!

"It's nice... if I have to get hands-on to care for [someone high maintenance] and have my scent on them. That makes it feel like they're mine." I know they're childhood friends, but this is absolutely DERANGED behaviour for your boss to say this on your first day as he encourages you to do a little office kitchen strip-tease

"You'd have to take off more clothes to be American-style." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

"I think this is too American," said Lee Jun, as his boss and childhood friend grabbed the nape of his neck like he was looking for a little kiss

Does it count as an HR violation if you only flirt intensely AFTER work hours but still on the premises?

I know he hasn't done much except intimidate the interns, but the tan suit guy (Chief) gives me bad vibes. His aura is off

"'A fresh start?' Oh, you were talking about Chief Kim's second marriage." LMAOOO Hyeon Jae said: You gossip about my friend, I gossip about you!!

Choi Jun does NOT like Hyeon Jae's situationship with Lee Jun

"You said you were free earlier." I get that you like him, Jun #2 but it really wouldn't be any of your business if Jun #1 was involved with Hyeon Jae, because he's 1) just seen you again for the first time in years and 2) your employee!!!

Deeply unhinged for Jun #2 to show up at Jun #1's apartment. However, since he is being silly instead of romantic, and Jun #1 has a framed picture of the two of them as children around, I will allow it

"I'm giving [this candy] to someone I like." "Thank you! I'll make sure to bring one next time." Awwwww baby Choi Jun giving Lee Jun a little Valentine's present!! That's very sweet

"You're shameless even after drunkenly barging into my house because you're from the USA, not because you're illogical?" [Laughs] "I think you fantasize about the USA a bit." A direct and accurate hit to Jun #1 LMAO

"The director is... kind of firm." I KNEW this play on words about softness had to be a segue to a boner joke

"Give me a hand," said Jun #2, with an HR professional typing furiously in the distance, probably

I think it's actually pretty reasonable for Jun #1 to question if this is normal behaviour for Jun #2. Also his simultaneous concern that Choi is living a slutty lifestyle while also realizing that him talking about the slutty lifestyle turns Choi on more, is very funny

Fhhfhfoifj Yeong offering to call Jun #1 "eonni" to differentiate

LMAOOOO Jun #1 fantasizing about Jun #2 coming out of the shower just because his own hand got wet

"People from different countries have very different values than us," said Jun #1, probably thinking about how his boss politely asked him for a handjob that morning

HAHAHA he admitted he was thinking about it, and then complained about Jun #2 pecking Yeong on the cheek. I'm guessing she is a relative or smth

"Oppa, I'm telling you this as your fiancée, but by any chance..." NOT THE KIND OF RELATION I WAS EXPECTING. Lavender marriage????

Some of these coworkers are truly haters for no reason

Lee is alone by the copy machine, which I can only assume means that Choi is coming to flirt

Update from 5 seconds later: Colour me incorrect! He passed by without doing anything

"You're the only one who knows exactly what I like." I know he's not the lead, but they really present Hyeon Jae as an extremely thoughtful and reasonable situationship as compared to whatever the hell is going on with Choi:

The vibes of the main relationship are sort of that scene from B99 that goes, "I can't believe I'm gonna sleep with him." "Well, you don't have to." "Nah, I'm gonna!"

"You know what that is. A business smile." This is the first time that the Catty Intern has made a good point

"We're not interested in going beyond our budget, so we'll completely rescind the request we made to you." Like that we're getting some marketing drama. Industry lore is half the appeal of office romances

NEW CHARACTER UNLOCKED: The other K-Pop idol who is homies with Jun #1, to which Jun #2 probably thought, 'Why do you have so many things going on with so many guys?'

"Just look at me and copy me. If I lean on you, try to support me as much as possible. Don't be stiff. Relax. Make a facial expression similar to mine too." Simeon seems like a solid guy based on this photoshoot support during Jun #1's K-Pop debut flashback

"Don't you think Simeon likes you?" "Is that so? I feel like I just got scolded." A friendship built through slighty curt K-Pop Career Advice

Awwww two of the K-Pop boys WERE dating but it's the side boys that aren't important to the plot

"Don't you think he has something going on with the team leader, and the director too?" The second time Catty Intern has made a good point

"Are you free today, by chance?" "Why? Will you finally go out with me on a date?" WEEL WEEL WEEL, Jun #1 really is the most popular boy in the marketing department

I'm gonna be real with you, this plot has felt semi-nonsensical since episode 1, but now that we are introducing a THIRD love interest on the 5th episode of a 8 episode series, I really think it's extraordinarily silly. I don't mind though, it's mostly a fun kind of silly!

"The person who likes the other more loses." What a fucked up dating philosophy LMAO

Choi is, unreasonably, sulking at all the people who like his crush

We have no moved into a contrived plot to do marketing together all night. How fun!

"What are you, the president's son?" "Yes." Wow, this company really does love nepotism!

"Yeong's father is a director of this company. Her mother is the CEO of a very well-known corporation." I guess that explains the engagement. It's the chaebol marriage I've heard about on Tiktok

Jun saying, "What am I, a child?" to be being offered a bigger piece of chicken because he's upset but immediately opening his mouth to be fed anyway as he continues to complain is the funniest thing that has happened on this show so far:

Jun #2 and Yeong whispering back and forth right in front of Jun #1 as if he's not sitting one foot away is also very silly

"Is that lady who's sleeping over there your fiancée since you were a kid or something?" [Nods] I'm glad Jun #2 explained about the fiancée right away when asked. Communication!!

"Just because someone is impressive, does that mean you're not good enough?" It's kind of a shame that all of Jun #1's friends want to fuck him, because this is genuinely supportive, it's just coloured by his underlying romantic affection

"You might be able to quantify how lovely someone is." "How?" "By the number of people who love that person." See what I mean! Romantic agenda

"There are so many people in unrequited love." "I know. There are... so many people like that." At least Hyeon Jae is really respectful of not making his feelings Jun #1's problem

"Lee Jun, let's start dating." "I know you grew up in the USA, but I didn't think you'd be like this." Jun #1 said: Polyamory is for Americans and sluts

Really, this is on Jun #2 for not explaining the fiancée situation better

This flashback to Hyeon Jae quitting makes it seem like he and Jun and Simeon were fighting their way towards a throuple

Choi has progressed into overt office jealousy; hoo boy

"I mean, I was impressed by how good you are at eating the salad." Bizarre compliment, 10/10, I want more

"Am I being scolded right now?" "No. You're being loved." Simeon's love language is being just a little rude

I do appreciate that Simeon doesn't allow him for a second to be self-deprecating. He's like, you're talented, stupid <3

"I would do anything if you asked me." Why is every man on this show a better dating option than Jun #2

"That fake smile. You know that doesn't work on me." [Deadpan] "Is that so?" I love the immediate shift in tone from Hyeon Jae

"Since when we were so professional?" Hyeon Jae and Simeon are so ex-boyfriend coded. I gotta wonder if Jun #1 is a proxy for Simeon's feelings for Hyeon Jae

"'Sad?' You are? Because of me?" "Of course. You can't ignore the time we spent." See what I mean!!!

Simeon asks Hyeon Jae three times not to call him, which I can only take to mean he will be waiting impatiently by the phone at all hours of the day

"We used to do a lot more than [drinking from the same coffee]." What does that MEAN, Jun #1? What is going on between these four guys!!!!!!!!!

"Why do you never call me?" "I don't have your number. How could I?" Yeong grows on me more with every passing scene

"If you have changed, you need to change the relationship." Yeong is giving her blessing for Jun #1 to date her fiancé

Jun #2 has crashed the Hyeon Jae-Jun #1 after-work plans and now we all get to experience an incredibly tense threeway dinner date

"Since when did you like him?" "Four or five years ago?" We are now having honest confessions mid-drinking contest

I love that Choi has given absolutely no context to how he knows Lee so him saying he's liked him for three or four times longer (like 16 years) should really be coming out of left field for Hyeon Jae

"Did I ever tell you that I would marry her?" "You get married if you're engaged." You'd be surprised, Jun #1

"Yeong and I are just helping each other out." "So?" "What?" "What do you want me to do?" Jun #1 said: We are not going to date unless you tell me you like me first!!

I'm not even sure if Lee Jun knows why he's mad, but I think it's very fair of him to be

[Kisses Choi Jun] "Get out of here. I like you." Incredible confession, please continue

"You're going back to USA anyway." OHHH so he was double mad

"I never said I'd leave, and I didn't say I'd get married. I'm sorry I haven't explained it to you properly, but I don't want you to believe the things I didn't say." This is the best communication in the show so far. I'm terribly endeared, but my god, it really took them 6 full episodes to have a normal conversation

I appreciate that they are actually doing work while they have these conversations about their feelings. They can multi-task

"I want to help you, and I want you to help me too. I want to have a win-win relationship." Oh, I do love this

"I will neither misunderstand nor avoid you. Just wait a bit." I really do think this is the most normal their workplace behaviour has been thus far:

Hyeon Jae is learning over this lunch that simply Thinking Your Feelings very loudly at your friend for four or five years does not a romantic relationship make

"He has no talent, but he showed off using a video of an idol." Catty Intern has really made no contribution to this workplace aside from his unkind remarks constantly killing the vibes

"And it's about bringing results, but the company wants a hard worker, not someone who's talented. Everyone ends up growing at the same pace, anyway." What do you know, I guess Chief Kim does have redeeming qualities

I think Chief Kim should be allowed to intimidate interns if it's exclusively aimed at Catty Intern Yeong Seok

"I'd also like to know your idea of a boyfriend." Jun #1 really does have to bat away boys left and right. Situationships ended with Hyeong Jae and Simeon, now Jun #2 is my best inappropriate workplace relationship

"Don't you have a more specific reference?" "You. I won't be able to say that." "What?" "I'm saying you're the reference [of a look from a boyfriend]. How am I supposed to say that to people?" AWWWW Marketing Boyfriends

The prophecy of Jun #2's male model face has been fulfilled

"I've always been confident in what you do. And I still feel the same." Hyeon Jae said: How do u feel about rekindling whatever the fuck we had going on, Simeon

"Ask Mr. Lee. Because this..." [points to a picture of himself] "is his." "Pardon?" HAHAHAHA he deserves this reaction

"You definitely played a major role in this ad campaign." I really do feel like the marketing has been well-woven into the plot of this show, Lee Jun has earned his accolades

I do appreciate that Hyeong Jae seems happy for Jun #1. He's a nice man

"I just want to be a good person by your side. That's all I need." "But I wanted to tell you how precious you are to me." This is the gentlest break-up-that's-not-a-break-up that I've seen

"Though I haven't raised a child yet." "You have. Me." Jun #1: I am father-zoning you. I hope this helps ❤️ To which Hyeon Jae said: Actually yeah, it kinda does!

"I'll come with you." "Where to?" "My place." Now that Jun #1 has resolved all of his relationship side quests, he is ready to be loved 💖

Are we not going to discuss the implications of Jun dating his boss now that he's been offered a full-time position? I feel like we should

"This is how men are. They're so insensitive." LMAO @ Yeong popping out in the middle of this date to scold Jun #2 for not being a better boyfriend

KKHKFHKFFKGF Yeong listing off reasons why she would be as good of a boyfriend as Jun is. Perfect, I love her

Jun #2 kissing Jun #1 right in front of her metaphorical salad to end this discussion LOOOL

"No, don't use it preciously. Use it generously." Is this a camera, or lube jhkghgjhgkgjh

"You should pay for the first round." "What are you, a thug?" [Playfully] "Probably." I actually love the Exes Date, they have more chemistry with each other than either had with Jun

"Okay. Let's get drunk since we both got dumped." Like in Legend of Korra, when the going gets tough, circle through dating the rest of your friend group until you find a relationship that works:

Choi sulking because Lee doesn't remember romantic gestures from over a decade ago. Girl, I don't remember this morning

"Mr. Lee recommended me a shampoo. Is it because I use my brain too much. I've been losing my hair lately." HAHAHAH they are incapable of beating the office romance allegations

"I'm glad that Mr. Lee is adjusting to work well." Hyeong Jae said: It's none of our business 😌❤️

AWWWW I love the callback to the earlier scene where Jun hadn't yet learned how to take coffee orders. The barista is back and proud!

I love that Mi Yeong, Nice Lady Intern and Dong Hyeon, anxious but earnest intern, also got their places

"You can walk and chew gum at the same time. It's easy, right?" [Forced laughter] LMAOO, Choi, on the other hand, is still mid-learning a work lesson, I think

We cut to Simeon and Hyeong Jae who are having a little birthday date

HAHAHAHHAAH I was in the right area, wrong item. The job present from Yeong is condoms!

They have also circled back to "returning favours" [audible wink] Good for them!!!!!!!!!!!

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (One)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack

Word Count: 10.2k (yikes, I know) (I will try to shorten future chapters, ya girl is sorry)

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, puking, reader is a drunk cry baby, reader is kinda embarrassing, jk is kinda jelaous, mentions of sleeping around, reader and jk are pretty affectionate, jk’s thighs are mentioned—that’s like, a warning in itself right?

Notes: hiiiii, the first part is here! Once again, really nervous about this so please go easy on me but mostly, just enjoy! :) also sorry for any typos!!!!

© taestefully-in-luv

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun is a magical thing. It lights up and warms the Earth, it enhances your mood, it helps plants grow, it literally provides for life. Without the sun, life on Earth would cease to exist. What the sun also does? The sun also shines down on us and lights up the most beautiful things. The sun today, however, is especially highlighting the most beautiful thing. The way the glittering rays gleam through the windows you can see how todays sun focuses on him.

That’s right, you guessed it. Kim Taehyung. His skin is absolutely glowing in the rays, his eyes sparkle in the light that shines down. Yes, Kim Taehyung is an other-worldly being. The way he just stands there and shimmers you can’t help but stare but also like, shy away because his beauty is so god damn blinding. Wait…was this dramatic? This might be dramatic. You’re too far gone to care though. His boxy grin, the way his hair falls into his eyes, the mole on his—

“I just want you to know, you are fucking drooling.” You hear the scoff of the man across from you, Jeon Jungkook, also known as your best friend.

You lazily shake your head as the two of you sit nice and snug in the booths of your favorite coffee shop. It’s one of the colder spring days, the breeze biting at your skin when you were outside but now, you have Jungkook’s scarf wrapped loosely around your neck and hot coffee in your hands.

“I mean, I get it. He’s gorgeous but do you really have to go this far?”

You bring the white mug full of black coffee to your lips. It’s hot and burns the tip of your tongue, but not anything you’re not use to.

“Yes.” You state plainly. You know exactly to what he is referring to. You don’t usually come here at this time, in fact you are usually a creature of habit and come at the same time on the same days… Tuesday and Thursdays in the evening but its Friday and like 1pm. But you knew Kim Taehyung was going to be here when he snapped a picture of the famous white mug with the shops logo on it and posted on his story. You bring your hand up to your forehead, saluting to the sky, “Thank you Snapchat.” So yes, naturally when you saw he was at this coffee shop you hurried to make sure you were too. Maybe it is fucking desperate. Okay it is. But could you blame a girl? He was one of the hottest guys you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

“This is ridiculous,” Jungkook huffs into his own mug, “You could just talk to him…”

Now it was your turn to scoff.

“As fucking if!”

Jungkook smirks into his mug, taking a sip of the burning hot coffee. “That incapable, hmm?”

“It’s not that I’m incapable JK,” You blow on the drink nonchalantly, “I am simply just not worthy.”

“You are so stupid, I swear.” He huffs into his mug again.

“What do you mean?”

Jungkook breathes out slowly, biting his lip as if contemplating what to say.

It’s like, what can he say? He wishes he could tell you a million things that would ease your mind, that could possibly give you the confidence you need or maybe just slap the reality on you that Taehyung doesn’t deserve you. But then he will get asked ‘why’ and he can’t have that.

“What?” you whine into your cup before setting it down.

“You’re really cool and also pretty?” he says quirking a brow in question. Because apparently that’s all he can come up with.

“That’s a question? Also am I dying? You’re complimenting me?” you tease, giving him an exaggerated look of satisfaction.

“I just mean…” Jungkook runs a hand through his messy dark locks, “You have nothing to worry about, ya know?”

Nothing to worry about he says! What does he know? He can literally get any girl—or guy for that matter—that he wants. You dip your head, frowning at the idea.

Jungkook has been your best friend since your freshmen year and there’s nothing you treasure more than his friendship. You bite your lips and tilt your head trying to recall his first presence in your life…oh! That stupid frat party freshmen year…you met at a frat party during your first semester and totally hit it off. Did he try to get into your pants? Okay, yeah maybe. He offered a room just up the stairs that night, but you refused…seemingly too shy. But Jungkook was nothing but understanding. He pat your back and said he knew a better place, and that was the 24 diner down the street. And the rest is history

“Obviously I don’t know and oh my god don’t look but—” You try saying before Jungkook is completely turning his head around to look. Classic Jungkook.

“Oh hey Tae.” Jungkook says in The Kim Taehyungs direction. Taehyung walks up to your table, you thought the sun only highlighted his beauty but up close he is the sun. You knew it was a magical thing.

“Hey guys! “ Taehyung stands there as bright as a fucking light, waving at you and your best friend. Oh yeah, did we forget to mention Jungkook is also friends with said Kim Taehyung? Okay, so maybe talking to Taehyung shouldn’t be that hard, since you share the same fucking friends. And you guys are technically friends too.

“Sup dude.” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly, picking up his coffee mug once again. His long fingers wrapping around the porcelain, warming him up. You watch as Jungkook takes a sip of his beverage with his doe eyes on you, he nods his head towards Taehyung and winks at you as he gulps down the drink. Of course, he’s teasing you.

“Hey y/n!” Taehyungs smile shines so brightly you want to actually kill yourself. What is up with this dude and being so blinding?

“Hey Taehyung…” you gulp your coffee awkwardly, giving him a small wave of the hand.

“y/n I told you to call me Tae!”

“Right…” you chuckle into the coffee creating bubbles of the liquid like the fucking pathetic lil thang you are.

Yeah, talking to The Kim Taehyung is not your specialty. Never was.

2 years ago

Your head is buried in books on the table of your campuses library with Jungkook fast asleep next to you. Statistics shouldn’t be this hard but it fucking is and you are groaning into your book, on the verge of pulling your hair out when a deep voice that rumbles your insides interrupts you—actually fuck it, you don’t feel like getting into a flashback. Just know that you met Taehyung (officially through Jungkook) and he ended up calling you pretty and you’ve thought about it every day since. Because you are pathetic. What’s new?

And that was it, that’s all it took for you to gain a massive crush on the boy.

“What’s up dude?” Jungkook asks again. He is now scrolling through his phone, probably swiping through Tinder, if you have to guess. And you’re right because he’s turning his phone towards you showing you some random girl, his wide eyes asking for your opinion. You roll your eyes and nod your head ‘yes’. As you can guess, this happens quite often.

“Ummm…” Taehyung runs a frustrated hand through his hair, you slowly tilt your head to soak him in when you notice he looks almost…panicked? “I need help with something actually,” but he isn’t looking at Jungkook as he says this, no. He’s looking at you.

“You see that girl at the counter over there? The one with long hair, not the other one.” He nods his head in the general direction while still remaining discreet.

You tilt your head to steal a glance at the counter and yes you do see the girl he is referring to. She’s got long brown hair that reaches her waist and man, she is gorgeous. Big, bright eyes. Full, pouting lips. Long legs and yeah, the works. Taehyung sure knows how to pick them. Did he need help to get her number of something? Like a wing woman? You mean, does he really need the help?

“Yes, I see her.” Is all you say to him and you expect him to ask you to go over there but instead he says,

“Great. I need you to be my girlfriend.”

You blink lazily at him as you process his words while Jungkook chokes on his drink.

“You want her to be your what?” Jungkook is the first to speak.

“My girlfriend.” He says again before his eyes go wide, “Like, like my fake girlfriend.” Taehyung turns a wonderful shade of red before his hand is reaching to scratch the back of his neck, chuckling to himself. “This girl—Anna…she is a bit obsessed? Ya know? Won’t leave me alone type thing and …and I have tried saying I have a girlfriend but she followed me to this coffee shop when she heard I was here. Like, who does that?”

Now it’s your turn to turn red, because you. You would fucking do that.

“That’s horrible Taehy—” you begin to say before Taehyungs large eyes pierce into your own, “Please y/n.”

“Anna???” Jungkook cuts in setting his phone on the table. “Like Anna Anna?” Jungkook squints his eyes at his friend before scoffing. “...She’s not doing it.” his eyes go between Taehyung and this girl Anna. “Don’t involve her in whatever game you—"

“I’ll do it.” You say, even surprising yourself. “I mean, it’s just pretend and for this moment so why not?” you begin to explain yourself. Plus for a few minutes you can pretend you’re really his girlfriend and your delusional mind will thrive off that.

Tae is quick to straighten his back and smile widely before he is ushering you to scoot over in the booth to let him in. “Scoot scoot” he whispers, grinning from ear to ear.

“Tae, you can’t be serious—” Jungkook is quick to say something, anything. His hands scrambling to grab his phone and hands it to Taehyung from across the table. “Here. Call up some other girl to do this. Don’t involve y/n.” Taehyung gives Jungkook a look of panic before Jungkook speaks up again, “Plus, y/n would be the worst fake girlfriend,” And that’s it. That’s all it takes. Jungkook’s constant negativity pisses you off so much that it drives what you say next.

“No need Taehyung.” You snatch Jungkook’s phone and shove it back in his hands. “Why don’t you call up one of your girls yourself and leave us alone?”

Jungkook looks at you shocked, his brows furrowing so deeply you are almost concerned for his face and the wrinkles that might set in.

“y/n…?” his stupid doe eyes look at you with so much confusion.

“I just mean, I can do this Jungkook. Don’t have to be so concerned.”

At that, Taehyung lights up.

“Great!” and his long arm wraps around your waist and when he was sure Anna is looking he leans in to plant a soft kiss to your cheek. “Thanks for doing this…” he whispers in your ear before placing another kiss.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s shocked ones. He looks like he just saw a ghost, all the color drained from his face as he watches you and Taehyung.

“Uh….” You don’t have any words for Taehyung—or Tae as he likes to be called.

You don’t even have the balls to glance his way, you don’t even have the balls to breathe in his direction.

“Look at me?” Taehyung’s finger is on your chin, guiding it towards his face.

“No…” Jungkook spurts out, “I mean, y/n don’t we have to go?” Jungkook looks at you with a look you’ve never really seen before. Maybe it’s desperation but you don’t really care.

“We don’t actually” you respond nonchalantly.

And with that you turn to face Taehyung more properly. His face is so close to yours it’s almost suffocating.

“What is it…Tae?” you try out his nickname for the first time. His cheeks flush and he scoots back just an inch.

“Thank you for doing this but…” his eyes slide to the side, eyeing Jungkook. “I was thinking we could do this for a couple of weeks, at the least. Ya know, to make it believable.”

Surprising you and Taehyung, Jungkook rises from his seat at the booth,

“y/n let’s go.” He simply states, not even looking at you. Taehyung looks panicked as you look between the boys.

“Tae…” you started to say before Jungkook reaches over the table to grab your wrist, “Come oooooooonnnnn” But you are quick to yank it back.

“Stop Jungkook, you’re being childish.”

Taehyung tightens his hold on you, “Yeah Kookie, sit back down…please.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes at Taehyung, giving him a look that screams ‘are you serious?!’

“Childish? Okay.” He gives you a look of disappointment before grabbing his phone and his bag and walking away from the table. You watch in disbelief as Jungkook’s figure disappears from your view. What was up with him?

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with him…”

“Right…” Tae responds quietly, his grip on your waist loosening up. “He’s just really protective over you, huh?” Taehyung bites his lip in contemplation, “y/n. I’m serious, let’s do this. I’ll pay for your coffee for the next month if you do this with me. Please, I am quite literally begging you.” He breathes out through his nose in an attempt to laugh. “She won’t leave me alone otherwise.”

You bite your lip in deep thought, your brows pulled together. Taehyung couldn’t help but find you cute.

“For a month? What happened to a few weeks?” you ask, a playful smirk gracing your features.

Taehyung couldn’t help the grin that made its way on his face.

“1 month.” He breathes out. “Unless you fall in love with me during that time and beg for more time….” He pokes his tongue out, his teasing tone going straight to your lady bits. If only he knew.

“Fine, but we should set some ground rules…don’t you think?”

“Okay. Like what?”

“Oh…I don’t—”

Taehyung raises a brow, “Don’t say something stupid like ‘no kissing’…because we want to make it as realistic as possible, don’t we?” he leans in just a bit more. Without Jungkook around Taehyung seems a bit more confident.

“Oh, you want to kiss me then?”

“It’s just for show. We don’t gotta think too hard about it.” His face inches closer and closer.

“Love…” you say, in a complete daze. Too lost in Taehyungs big brown eyes.

“What about it?” he doesn’t blink, just continues to stare into your eyes.

“We…would if one of us catches feelings? Then we should stop it, right?” You choke out.

Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut as an impossibly cute giggle escapes his lips, “You’re so cute. How many romcoms have you watched to come up with that line?”

“I’m serious.” You push your head back, “This could become hurtful if one of us falls in love…” You say this knowing it’s you. Well, obviously. Just because Taehyung called you pretty 2 years ago doesn’t mean he likes you.

“Okay, sweetheart.” Taehyung gets close again, “I’ll tell you.” And then he leans in, just an inch from your face. His lips hovering over your own and you can see his eyes still on you, like he’s silently asking for permission. You can’t help the nod of your head and you, yourself don’t stop yourself from leaning in.

Taehyungs lips are just as soft as you had always imagined. His lips only peck yours, the kiss is short but sweet. Once he pulls back you see his eyes slide to the counter where that Anna girl stands, and a look of relief washes over his features.

“Thank God, she bought it. She looks pissed,” he laughs loudly, “She saw us and is totally storming out!”

Oh, right. This is all for show.

“Oh, good.”

“Thanks y/n!” Taehyung’s smile is so wide it takes up the entire booth. He goes in for a quick hug, pulling back he smiles again before reaching his hand to pat your head.

“You’re a good girl.” He says and slips out of the booth. Welp, you wish those words didn’t go straight to your vagina.

“Uh, thanks.” You sputter out, not entirely sure what just happened.

“See you later?” he asks then his face lights up, “I’ll bring you a coffee.”

“Well, that is the deal.” You shoot him some pathetic finger guns.

You stare down at your now cold coffee, and look across from you at the now empty booth where Jungkook once sat.

“I’ll text you with more details later!” he shakes his phone in his hand,

“Bye bye…girlfriend.” He finishes off with a wink and skips, yes fucking skips away.

You are left alone at your table, with an empty seat across from you and a cold coffee. And now a fake boyfriend with the guy you have a massive crush on. This couldn’t possibly go all wrong, could it?

~~~

“This is definitely going to go all wrong, you realize that, right? This is a bad idea y/n and you know it.”

Jungkook’s legs are swung over your own as he lays on the couch, his focus on his phone in his hands. He wears his gray puma sweat suit you love so much and smells exactly the same as always—clean laundry and his own musk. You can’t help but eye him over, his dark strands of hair falling into his eyes as he bobbles his head to rid himself of the stray pieces. You aren’t blind, Jungkook is like, crazy hot and sometimes your staring can become a problem.

“Like, ‘we can’t fall in love with each other’” he mocks, “What sort of bullshit? You already in love, aren’t you?” he peeks over his phone to get a look at you waiting for some sort of rejection of his words.

“It’s just a crush, Jungkook.”

“Sure.” His eyes go back to his screen. “You’re pretty dumb for doing this.”

“Did I mention we kissed?”

“Only 100 times now you sicko.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and you can’t help but giggle.

It’s no secret that Jungkook is against this—whatever this is. He always has been…ever since you mentioned it 2 years ago sophomore year.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?!” you ask in disbelief.

You just confessed your little crush on Taehyung to Jungkook, the two of you sitting across from one another in the library when he rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed.

“Can you not yell? We’re literally in a library. And I don’t feel like getting kicked out this week…again.” He rolls his pen between his fingers as he speaks.

“Okay one: that’s your own fault for getting caught with your hand down some girls pants. And Two: what do you mean ‘no’?”

“Taehyung is off limits for you.” He says, totally unbothered.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“It means, he’s my friend for one so gross, and also he’s kind of like…emotionally unavailable.”

You chew on your pen, wondering what that could mean. Like, he doesn’t date? He doesn’t ‘do’ relationships? He’s already in love with someone else?

“I’m not telling you.” Jungkook’s pen slides against his paper as he writes, “His life.”

Oh, you asked that out loud.

“Whatever Jungkook, it’s just a crush.”

It feels nice to have a crush on someone other than…

Ding

Your phone goes off and you hurry to check it. What? It could be Taehyung wanting to go over the details of the ‘plan’. But much to your disappointment it was just Jimin.

Jimin 9:42pm

Where are you guys? Party has BEEN started girl

Y/N 9:42pm

We’re about to leave babe, see you soonish

Jimin 9:43pm

You guys fuckin? *smirk face emoji*

Y/N 9:43pm

Did you just…write smirk face emoji instead of putting the emoji itself

Y/N 9:44pm

Also how many times do I have to tell you JK and I aren’t like that

Jimin 9:45pm

Whatevs, see you soon babe xoxo

You set your phone down in your lap, your fingers going to massage Jungkook’s calves as you sneak a glance at him, he closes his eyes in satisfaction as you continue massaging the muscle.

“We gotta get go—also, that’s now what you’re wearing right?”

“Not going tonight. But have fun.” Jungkook sets his phone on his chest, letting out a long breath while folding his arms behind his head. He looks comfortable like, you almost believe him that he’s really staying in.

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N why don’t we just stay in tonight?” He whines, he unfolds his arms and reaches for your hand. “Let’s go buy a 12 pack, get fucked up and just ya know, stay in.” Though this doesn’t sound like a bad idea, it also sounds like every Friday night with the two of you and you want to do something different tonight. But it would take some convincing. You interlock your fingers with his and he melts at your touch, his dopey smile growing.

“It’s a good idea, right?” he says, blinking up at you.

You smile back, tilting your head just the slightest before your smile drops altogether.

“No.”

“Ugh!” Jungkook throws his head back on the sofas armrest, “Why are you like this?”

“You still love me.” You chirp swinging his legs off yours and standing to your feet.

“Now get dressed and I promise that I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the weekend and you can bring whatever poor girl back to the apartment.”

Oh yes, your best friend is also your roommate. You’ve been living together for the last year—it just made the most sense. He was always over at yours or vise versa. So it made the most sense to save money and just room together. It worked out almost perfectly—almost. He paid his half of rent on time, he cleaned the dishes, he did laundry. Wait a minute, what the hell did you offer? That’s beside the point, the best of all he was always there when you needed him. The one downfall…the girls he brought over.

It got so bad that you couldn’t even sleep. You get it, your best friend is obviously…gifted. If the girls whines and moans and screams were any indication. So you had to set some rules for your sanity! For one, the other must always warn the other when bring home a person for the night. And two, its best if the other is already like, not home. Jungkook quickly agreed…something about how he doesn’t want to hear you either.

So, offering to be gone all weekend so he can have as much sex in his bed as he wants is probably going to be convincing enough.

You study Jungkook’s features, his brows pinched together almost comically, and his lips formed into the cutest pout.

“All weekend?” he asks, kicking imaginary rocks with his feet. “Like, no interruptions?”

“No interruptions you absolute whore.”

“Fine, deal.” He looks into your eyes and something flashes across them that you cant pinpoint. “I guess I’ll get dressed…but wait, where will you stay?”

“Probably with Jimin.” You shrug.

“Hm, okay.” Jungkook walks towards his room while lifting his sweatshirt over his head and throwing it behind him, the article of clothing landing on the floor. “And you’re doing laundry.”

“Brat.” You say rolling your eyes but you can’t help but smile.

You don’t take long to get ready yourself, you settle for a casual look tonight…okay, semi-casual, meaning you’re wearing jeans but you are wearing a nice, low cut blouse that shows a generous amount of cleavage. It’s your go to titty shirt. You aren’t really looking to get laid tonight or anything but you do want onlookers to wish you were.

You bounce your knee up and down while sitting on the sofa as you not so patiently wait on your bff, you call out for him but he only yells back that you need to like, chill out. After what feels like forever, the creak of his bedroom door opening can be heard and you quickly stand to your feet to face him.

“Woah.” Is all you manage to say as Jungkook walks out of his room, his cologne filling the air around you. “You look…” you can’t even finish your sentence without Jungkook’s stupid smirk already on his face. His pants are skin tight, the material practically melted on to his thick thighs that are deliciously exposed thanks to rips and holes. His plain white tee is accompanied by a fine leather jacket and his hair is split down the middle, the waves adorning his face. He looks damn good. And you both fucking know it.

“I look?” he teases, walking closer to you. His cologne suffocating your nostrils but you aren’t upset about it.

“You look…fine. You look better than before at least.” You choke out. It’s not that Jungkook is capable of making you nervous but sometimes he has this aura about him…no, you don’t even want to get into it. Those are thoughts you’ve trained yourself to push away.

“Whatever.” His eyes skim over your body shamelessly, “You look fine too.” He winks, walking past you.

“Ready to go?” he calls out over his shoulder. You can’t help but watch his tight ass walk away. Did you really say tight ass? Well it is!

“Yeah, lemme grab my purse and uh, uh we can go. You’re driving.”

~~~

“About fucking time, sluts.”

“Hello to you too, Jiminie.” You crack a smile as your friend goes in for a quick but tight hug.

When Jungkook finally introduced you to all his friends the one you hit it off with the most was good ol’ Jimin. He immediately became one of your closest friends.

“Yo Park.” Jungkook’s eyes are all around the place, not even sparing Jimin a glance. No doubt looking for his girl for the night already. What? It’s a safe assumption.

“Jeon.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “You guys took forever, too busy fucking?”

You hit Jimin’s shoulder with your own, giving him a look that says you’ll scold him later.

“She wishes.” Jungkook finally puts his attention on the two of you, a wide smile growing on his face.

“Shut up.”

“What? It’s true! Oh my god Jimin, you should of seen her face when she saw me walk out in this fit.” Jungkook stands tall, hands grabbing onto the material of his leather jacket,

“She was like “oh my god Jungkook you look so go—” You go to hit his stomach with your fist but thanks to his rock hard abs you only end up hurting yourself. “Fuck! Ow! What’s under your shirt?” you yell over the music.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He says with a wink.

The words ring a bell of familiarity in your head, each syllable echoing softly. A small smile forms on your lips and Jungkook gives you the softest smile in return. Did he just say the same line he used on you 3 years ago when you two met?

3 years ago

The music is booming so loudly you can’t even hear yourself think. This isn’t your first frat party and probably won’t be your last but you just can’t get use to it. You let your dormmate drag you to this stupid party only for her to ditch you in the first 10 minutes. Great.

You weave through the crowd trying to locate the kitchen to get your hands on the strongest drink you can find, lord knows you need it.

The kitchen is just as crowded as the rest of the house unfortunately. So many bodies. Bodies doing shots. Bodies doing shots off other bodies. Bodies playing games. Bodies grinding against other bodies. So many fucking bodies. It is honestly overwhelming. You walk towards the punch bowl, reaching for a red solo cup when another hand bumps into yours.

“Whoops sorry, go ahead.” The hand is attached to this boy—or man? Should you say man? He sure looks like one. He eyes you up and down before smiling down at you.

“Freshmen?” he asks.

You slump your shoulders, “Do I really look that outta place?” you pout.

“It’s not that…I just have a way of knowing.” He laughs. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.”

Namjoon, huh? He is cute that was for sure. “Y/N.” you say placing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pretty!” he smiles, then his eyes look behind you. “Ay! Jungkook! What did I say?! No more Keg stands!!!!” Then Namjoon’s eyes are back on you, “Sorry Y/N gotta go, gotta take care of this brat.” Then walks past you to this mysterious Jungkook person.

Your eyes follow Namjoon as he rushes to whoever this Jungkook guy is. Namjoon pulls him to the side obviously scolding him for apparently doing too many keg stands. Jungkook looks like a small child who is about to get grounded, and you can’t help but giggle. Unfortunately, this caught Jungkook’s attention. He looks straight at you, his eyes narrowing. Wait a minute. You recognize him! He definitely looks like the same guy from your Lit class on Tuesday and Thursdays. Yup, you get one long good look at him and he is definitely the same heartthrob of a dude from your class. All the girls go crazy for this guy, you mean, you guess you get it. He is really hot. He’s got on a black t shirt and some ripped jeans, and tousled hair.

Jungkook looks at you again with furrowed brows then smirks. Fuck, you were staring. And got caught. You see Jungkook pat Namjoon on the shoulder a few times then walk past him, much to Namjoon’s annoyance.

And he’s walking towards….you. FUCK. In a total panic, you twirl around to face the wall, yes the fucking wall when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“’Scuse me?” a voice says from behind you. You’re not going to play dumb, you know who the voice probably belongs to. You stay facing the wall, like a fucking weirdo.

“Wanna turn around?” his voice is light and teasing and you can’t help the long release of breath before turning to face him. Wow. Up close he’s even more handsome….

“Hi?” you sputter out, completely unaware of how lame and shy you sound.

“Hey, like what you see?” he nods his head in the direction he just came from, clearly amused.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Apparently playing dumb is how you decide to go about this. You stare at him with a blank expression, swaying from side to side. Lucky for you it’s in beat with the music so you look kind of cool. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“I mean, you kept staring at me so.”

“No, its…it’s not like that”

“Then, what’s it like?”

“I just…I thought I recognized you so…” you wipe your sweaty hands on your black denim skirt. “That’s all.” You finish, still looking at him like you haven’t done anything weird tonight.

“Anderson’s Lit class right?” he asks with a pointed look. “I recognized you too.” His smirk does things to your lower half but you shouldn’t be admitting that right now.

“Oh?” is all you manage to say.

Jungkook studies you for a few moments, his gaze so dark and intimidating and you feel so flushed with his eyes on you. Then he groans with fingers rushing through his messy hair,

“Do you understand this week’s assignment?”

He…he wants to talk about school?

“Yes, I do. Because this assignment is wack as fuck.”

OH. You must of asked that out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Oh, that too.

“Umm, yeah. What aren’t you understanding?” you finally say something relevant.

“It’s just more like, I think it’s a stupid assignment.” He chuckles, “Oh, you got something—” he reaches his hand forward to your hair, his fingers brushing through your long strands, pulling back with a piece of string. “Got it.” He says with a sly smile.

HOW CHEESY!!!! But like, it still made the heartbeat in your vagina go boom boom.

“Ya know…” he begins, his eyes never leaving yours as he talks. You actually don’t even know what he is talking about but his lips move so quickly you try to follow them. Your eyes on his lips the whole time, you don’t even realize it.

“…and that’s why I think it’s stupid.” He finally finishes with an obnoxious laugh. “Hey—hey are you even listening?” he says, his lips in a pout. You would know because they are all you’ve been staring at.

“Huh?” you blink lazily up at him, “Oh. Yeah. I totally agree.”

Jungkook stares at you seriously for a second before breaking out into a cackle, yes a cackle like he’s some hysterical witch. Which sounds really unattractive but honestly you’re digging it.

“It’s okay, you weren’t listening. I guess I’m not that interesting, huh?”

“No no! You are!” You’re quick to say, your hands waving frantically in front of you.

“Oh? So you do find me interesting?” he smirks, folding his arms across his chest.

You scoff at his words, appreciating his moves on you with a sly smile.

“Are you always this smooth?” you ask, a light teasing tone laced in your voice.

“Oh baby, you can find out. Should we go upstairs? I know a room.” He teases back.

Feeling so at home lost in your memories with Jungkook, you finally break free from the flashback. For some reason that’s a flashback you don’t mind reliving.

“Smooth.” You grin at Jungkook, you can’t help the blush that paints itself on your cheeks.

“For you? Always.” He grins back. You two just stare at one another, basking in the memories of your friendship.

“Okay, enough.” Jimin cuts in, his hands on both yours and Jungkook’s shoulders, “Either actually get a room and finally fuck or get on with your nights.”

You and Jungkook exchange awkward glances before turning towards the living room to join the party. Jimin is left at the houses entrance by the front door, totally dumbfounded. “these two idiots…” he scoffs under his breath, his eyes rolling so far back into his head.

Hours pass and you know what? The party isn’t as lame as you thought it might be. You are lost in the music on the living rooms dance floor with a red solo cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

“y/n!” you hear the call of one of your closest girlfriends.

“Trina!!!” you stumble towards her with a lopsided grin, you reach for her bringing her in for a long hug.

“Woah, someone’s drunk.” She laughs her loud laugh that you love so much. “And damn, the titty shirt is out tonight? Nice.”

“Not drunk” you giggle, and then continue to giggle again for no apparent reason.

“Right…” Trina slaps your back enthusiastically, “Where’s…” she then lowers her voice with a smirk, “lover boy?”

“who? Jungkook?” you ask with the tilt of your head.

Trina’s head pushes back with a confused expression, “What? No! I’m talking about…” she lowers her voice again, “Taehyung!”

OH. Right. You had texted Trina as soon as the whole ordeal with Taehyung unraveled. She knows of your long time crush and totally supports the idea of fake dating because as she puts it:

“Girl! This is your chance! Show him what a great girlfriend you would be, he would totally fall in love with you for real for real.”

And you have to say, you like where her head is at. Complete opposite of what Jungkook is always saying.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t see him around.” You sway side to side, your lit up phone catching your attention.

Jungkook 1:22am

Don’t come home tonight ;)

You can’t help but roll your eyes. How is he so quick?

Y/N 1:23am

Alreadyasydy tslked 2 Jiminie, staying w hum toniteeee.

Jungkook 1:24am

y/n…you’re not too drunk right?

Jungkook 1:27am

y/n????

You are back to shaking your ass with Trina by your side, the bass of the music thumping so loudly you can feel it vibrate your whole body. Body after body pushes into you, causing you to stumble every few seconds. But your grip on your refilled solo cup doesn’t loosen, not as you chug back your drink.

“Gonna grab another!” you slur, nodding your head towards the kitchen. Trina only gives you a thumbs up as she continues to dance with some random girl.

The walk to the kitchen feels like it’s taking forever, the way the walls swirl around you makes you feel sick. You stagger through the kitchens walk way when you feel two arms wrap around your middle.

“My girlfriend!” You hear the slur of words in your right ear, loud and clear.

You turn in the man’s hold with squinted eyes,

“Oh hi Tae.” You giggle, encasing him in a hug. Drunk y/n is way more confident. For some reason seeing him like this you don’t feel as nervous or awkward. Then you feel it. The weird, uncomfortable pang in your chest. Why is that? You look up at Taehyung when the sensation of guilt begins to surface. You remind yourself of the mission you’re on, completely ignoring the inner truth that tries to bubble over and smile at him.

Taehyung looks down at you with a goofy grin, his fingers digging into your waist to keep you steady.

“Oh, you’re drunk drunk.” He teases.

“Am not!” you shake away your confusing thoughts and giggle some more. “wanna take a shot with me?” you excitedly ask him, nodding in the direction of the liquor bottles.

“Hell yeah girl!” he says, taking your hand and leading you towards the counter.

“Y/N are you okay????” Taehyung voice is laced in concern as he holds you. Yes, the Kim Taehyung is holding you. “Shit, I shouldn’t have let you drink this much….” But like in a totally pathetic way.

“You…” you lean back, hitting his chest with your pointer finger, “Don’t tell me how much I can or can’t drink!” your voice buzzes as you fall forward but Taehyung catches you again.

“Right right…” he chuckles but then he looks concerned again. “We need to get you home…let’s call Jungkook.”

“No! we caaaannnnoottt do that…” your words are all jumbled together, Taehyung has a hard time understanding you.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Back pocket.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze.

Taehyung looks conflicted, but in the end he reaches around for your phone and turns it on.

“Holy shit y/n… you have 8 missed calls from Jungkook. And whole lotta texts.”

Jungkook 1:30am

Are you okay??

Jungkook 1:40am

y/n…Youre a big girl so ill just assume youre okay.

Jungkook 3:02am

Just talked to jimin and you aren’t with him?? where are u??

Jungkook 3:18am

Answer your fukin phone

Jungkook 3:23am

Are you still at the party?

Jungkook 3:41am

You aren’t with Trina either? y/n where are you?

Jungkook 4:00am

Don’t make me go back there….pls just answer your phone so I know if youre like, idk fucking alive

Jungkook 4:10am

Fine im going to look for you

“Fuck.” Taehyung hisses under his breath. “I gotta call him…I’m gonna call him okay?”

Your eyes go comically wide at Taehyungs words.

“No!”

“too late” he says, the phone to his hear.

“Hey man, no its me…Taehyung, yeah…yeah….she….” Taehyung eyes you carefully as he speaks on the phone, “She’s fine. She just has had maybe too much to dri—” Taehyung drags a hand down his tired face, “No for fucks sake I didn’t do anything to her. Really dude?”

You lean into Taehyungs space, trying to put your ear to the phone as well and Taehyung can’t help but laugh.

“I read all your texts to be honest…if you have a girl over…what? No, I’m saying y/n can just stay with me…”

Stay with Taehyung? That should make your heart race but—

You think all the alcohol is catching up to you at once and the world becomes even more blurred and a spinning mess. You would give anything to be cuddled up in your blankets with Jungkook taking care of you—wait, no. You don’t need Jungkook to take care of you. You have a perfectly good Taehyung who just offered his place to you.

“I swear man, I’ll take care of h—” Taehyung rolls his eyes, “she might be too drunk to talk….okay, I’ll ask her.” Taehyung lowers the phone and faces you.

“y/n.”

“Hm?” you blink lazily, swaying into Taehyungs chest. Oh no. You feel it, you feel the nausea building up in your tummy, making its way up your chest. On a scale of 1 to 10 how dead would you die if you threw up on Taehyung?

“Do you want Jungkook to come pick you up?”

Jungkook? Like, your Jungkook? Unfortunately for you, your eyes gloss over and probably also unfortunate for Taehyung as well as he looks at you with an alarmed expression . You feel sick. You want to go home. You want to sit on your bathroom floor and throw up in the toilet with Jungkook sitting next to you while he hums a soft tune to soothe you.

“Y-Yes.” You murmur shyly, you begin to sniffle and Taehyung begins to panic.

“Okay man yeah come pick her up.”

“want Jungkook…” you say as a few tears spill over. You are trying your hardest to keep the puke down but its threatening to exit your poor drunk body.

“I think she’s gonna be sick so please hurry…” Taehyung rushes to say over the phone before hanging up.

The next few minutes are a blur, you know Taehyung rushes you to the bathroom. He is overly sweet the whole time you see nothing but blurred, spinning images. He holds your hair back as your body threatens to release tonight’s dinner and says comforting words but nothing makes you feel better. The puke won’t make its guest appearance and your whole world is spinning at a inhumane pace. You’re about to give up on life and fall to the bathroom floor of this gross frat house and try to sleep when you hear him.

“Lemme in dude.” It’s Jungkook. You stir from your sleepy state and turn your head towards the door. He barges in, his eyes landing on you and they soften. He immediately falls to the floor to caress the back of your head and you immediately begin to sob. The tears are out of your control as they slide down your cheeks.

“Don’t...don’t...feel good.” You say between wails, gripping desperately onto his shirt.

“I know baby, I know.” He pulls you into his chest, his hand soothingly running up and down your back. “Has she thrown up yet?” Jungkook looks up at Taehyung with expectant eyes. Taehyung is so caught off guard while watching the two of you.

“uh, no.”

“Okay, can you leave us alone for a while?” Jungkook says somewhat harshly then his features soften as he whispers “She will probably be embarrassed later if you saw…”

“Right.” Taehyung says, his worried expression not going unnoticed by Jungkook. Then Taehyung is on his way out, but he turns one last time to get a look at you.

“feel better y/n” then he is out the door, shutting it behind him.

“Okay y/n…remember what you gotta do?”

“finger?” you slur.

“Yup. Put your finger…yes like that,” he says as you begin to push your finger down your throat to get yourself to throw up.

“I promise you’ll feel better.”

You begin gagging on your finger as you finally throw up in the toilet, Jungkook rubbing your back the entire time giving you words of encouragement.

“Good girl, good girl.” He whispers.

Your face is a fucking mess. Your makeup smeared beyond belief. The black streaks from your tears marking your cheeks in the most horrific way. Jungkook watches you as you cry into his lap on the floor, his heart breaking at the sight. He hated when you drank too much and got like this. He should of never left you alone tonight.

“Jungkook?” you choke out, your tears still spilling from your dark eyes.

“Hm?” he responds, his fingers brushing back your hair.

“Did I ruin your night? Or did you still get some?” you chuckle pathetically.

“Don’t worry about that.” He brushes more hair out of your face, he lifts your head up and places it on a towel. He stands to his feet at the sink, reaching for a towelette and running it under warm water.

“Gonna clean your face okay?” he warns softly.

“kay…” you close your eyes when you feel the wet warmth of the towelette on your cheek. Jungkook is careful to clean you delicately, wiping away the makeup and leaving you spotless.

He’s back under you, your head in his lap and his hands back in your hair.

“you told me you were going to be with Jimin tonight yet you were with Taehyung…”

“It just happened like that” you whisper, sleep beginning to take over.

“I was…really worried about you when I didn’t hear from you, stupid.”

You smile at his words, his touch making you melt.

“Ya know, you’re not the only one allowed to get some Jungkook. I can be like you and have sex too if I want.”

“What are you talking about?” his hand stops in your hair.

“Would if I was getting some? That’s why I didn’t answer?”

“Were you?” his voice is low.

“Well, no—”

“Okay good.”

“Why is that good? Hm?” you open your eyes just a little bit, taking in the hazy world. “Wish it was you I was getting it on with?” you say quietly.

“You’re drunk.”

“I wanna go home.”

“take a nap first, okay?” his fingers begin playing in your hair again, “I’ll wake you up in 30 minutes.”

Your eyes are already closed when he says this, sleep already welcoming you in its warm embrace. “Kay” you murmur.

Jungkook plays with your hair as you snooze in his lap, he watches the rise and fall of your chest and wonders what it would be like to lay his head on it and sleep too.

Bbrrrr bbbrrrrr bbrrrr brrrrrr

A phone call. The most horrifying buzzing occurs next to your face as you sleep peacefully in your bed. Wait, how did you get home last night? You remember drinking and dancing the night away, you remember hanging out with Taehyung…oh no, you remember Jungkook coming to the rescue. Oh no...

You try to open your eyes, but the light from the sun is too damn blinding. You squint at what is in view. Right in front of you, you see black locks of hair poking out of the blanket, a dark blue blanket. You recognize this blanket. Jungkook’s blanket. You are in Jungkook’s bed. With Jungkook. This isn’t so surprising, you imagine you had refused to sleep in your own bed last night—

Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr brrrr brrrrr

Right. Your phone.

You fumble the phone trying to pick it up and answer it when Jungkook groans next to you,

“Hurry up and answer it” he says, sliding deeper under the covers.

“Hello?” you croak out, your voice hoarse and honestly? Disgusting.

“Hey y/n!” This voice is way too damn chipper for whatever ungodly hour it is.

“Tae?”

“Good afternoon sleepy head! Did I wake you?” Afternoon? What time is it? You pull the phone away from your face to check the time.

2:06pm

Holy shit, you’ve slept the day away.

“No no,” you lie, “Just in bed…” you say sitting up from where you lay.

“Great! Do you think maybe I could…come over? We can discuss the whole fake dating thing.” He chuckles into the phone. COME OVER? Immediately you begin smoothing down your hair with your free hand and start to peel back the covers to get out of bed.

“Umm, when?” you glance over at sleeping Jungkook, his face mostly hidden behind the blanket.

“Maybe around 6? I could cook you dinner? I know you had a rough night…”

Fucking great. You don’t want to think of last night, you will die of fucking embarrassment.

“yeah…listen, you don’t have to do all that—”

“I want to!” Taehyung is quick to cut you off, “As your boyfriend—fake boyfriend it is my duty to take care of you!” you feel like you can see the boxy smile on his face. It makes you motherfucking swoon.

“Okay then, 6.” You smile into the phone. “Bye tae.”

You bring the phone down into your lap, clicking the end button. Dinner with Taehyung? Like a date? You can’t help but feel internally giddy at the thought. You squeal for a second before Jungkook speaks up.

“What’s at 6?” he peeks from under the covers, his voice husky and groggy.

“Oh… nothing” you sing, a bright smile on your face.

“Something with Tae?” he begins to sit himself up as well.

“We’re just going to have dinner and talk about the whole fake dating thing.” You beam.

“You’re still doing that shit?”

Automatically you go from super excited to annoyed. Only Jungkook can do that to you.

“It’s harmless, Jungkook. Plus…”

“plus what?” he raises a single brow.

“Trina says this is a good opportunity…”

“y/n I have told you not to get too involved with this guy, but you don’t listen to me.” Jungkook crosses his arms over his chest, then bows his head down in defeat.

“But whatever, learn your fucking lessons by yourself.”

You can’t help but feel like Jungkook is once again looking down at you, like you aren’t good enough for Taehyung. Your breaths become unsteady as you just stare at your best friend like he isn’t constantly hurting your feelings on the matter.

“I—I will be fine. I want him, Jungkook. And this is—this is a good opportunity to show him I can be a good enough girlfriend ya know—”

“Just stop.” Jungkook cuts you off in a harsh tone. “I never said you weren’t good enough? You’re just not what he wants.” Jungkook can see how his words break you further. “Fuck. Forget I said that, y/n…”

“Why can’t he want me?”

Jungkook hates just how quietly you ask that…he hates how defeated you sound, how defeated you look…your head hanging low with no attempt to even look at him.

“He’s just…”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t answer that” You stand from the bed and begin walking towards his door. You look down to see you’re wearing nothing but Jungkook’s t shirt and some panties, you groan at your own shamelessness when you hear the rushed ruffling of the comforter behind you and the plop of feet landing on the ground. Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers wrapped around your wrist.

“Just move on y/n…”

I’m fucking trying to, is what you want to say but instead you opt for a harsh ‘leave me alone’ as you exit his room.

You spend the next couple of hours pampering yourself, you had a rough night and you totally deserve a piece of cake, this bubble bath and face mask. You want to feel relaxed but you can’t get the image of Jungkook out of your head. You hate it when the two of you fight. You mean, to others this would hardly come off as a ‘fight’ but you and Jungkook never really have negative energy. So, yes. It’s a fight. He’s the last person in the world you want to fight with. Yet here you are.

But then the image of Taehyung cooking you dinner enters your mind and somehow you feel a little more at ease. Was this a date? You giggle to yourself, blowing bubbles that reaches your lips as you sink deeper into the tub. You have an hour before Taehyung was to arrive at your apartment…your shared apartment. God, you hope Jungkook takes a hint and goes and hangs out with Jimin or something.

You finally rise from the tub and dry off your now freshly cleansed body. The scent of lavender fills the air and you feel satisfied with how your bath turned out.

You read the clock…5:30pm and you know it’s time to get dressed.

You settle for some high waisted shorts and a white tank top with a purple bralette where the straps are generously shown. Looking into the mirror, you decide to do light makeup and tinted lip balm. You don’t want to try too hard for the boy you’re trying to woo.

And bam. 6pm right on the dot you hear the door being lightly knocked. You begin walking towards the front door but stop to see if Jungkook is in his room or not. He’s not. Relief washes over you as you continue to walk towards the front door. But where did he go? You’re relieved he isn’t home but feel anxious that you don’t know where he could have gone. Maybe to Jimin’s? Maybe to some random girls? Somehow this makes you feel more anxious. You shake away those thoughts and swing the front door open.

“Hey there.” Taehyungs boxy grin is enough to get you pregnant. Like, god damn. He looks amazing. He’s got dress pants and some floral shirt and his hair looks slightly wet. That’s not the only thing slightly wet. You internally cringe at your thought.

“Hey Tae, come on in.” you open the door wider to let the boy through. He walks past you and makes himself comfortable in the kitchen, setting down a bag of what you assume is probably groceries.

“You like spaghetti?” he asks excitedly, almost like a child.

“Who doesn’t?” you smirk walking his way and sitting down at the breakfast table. “Need any help?” you offer.

“Not at all.” Taehyung begins unpacking his things and gets to work in the kitchen. You watch in awe, your head nuzzled in your hands as he does his thing.

“Dinner was amazing Tae.” You go to compliment the chef. It really was. The noodles were long and soft and the sauce was very flavorful. Did you really just compliment the length and softness of fucking noodles? Wow, you are whipped. You almost wish Taehyung was your roommate and not useless in the kitchen Jungkook. Oh. Jungkook. The thought of him enters your mind and it has you hurting. You may be having a blast with your crush but you and your best friend are still in the middle of a fight. About said crush. But this really is your chance. You can get Taehyung to like you, maybe even fall for you. And you need this. You need this. So you can’t give up, no matter what Jungkook says.

“Not as amazing as you” Taehyung winks but then his face drops, “Sorry that was cheesy, wasn’t it?” he drags a hand down his handsome face. “I suck at flirting.”

You look up at him, completely intrigued.

“You’re trying to flirt with me?” you can’t help but to smile slyly.

“Of course I am!” Taehyung laughs loudly then reaches for his backpack in the chair next to his and pulls out a notebook.

“So I wrote some ideas for this whole fake dating thing.” He becomes just a tad more serious as a nervous grin lights up his face.

“Oh really? Should I have a look?” you say reaching for the notebook with grabby hands, “Gimme!”

Taehyung chuckles while pulling the notebook to his chest, “No! Miss Greedy.” He teases. “How about I just read them and we can discuss?”

“fine.” You pout, “Whatever you say.”

“Whatever I say? I like the sound of that.” He smirks then his eyes fall to the paper in front of him. “First, we should go on dates…like all the time. The more time we spend together the more believable it’ll be. Ya know?”

“Okay, makes sense. Makes sense.”

“Second, we should attend all parties together and leave together too.” Then his eyes go wide, “I just mean—like don’t worry, I’ll make sure I get you home.”

You can’t help but giggle, nodding your head to his words.

“Third, we should post each other on social media! For example, I can take a picture of tonight’s date and post it on the gram.”

“Tonight was a date?” you ask, a delighted smile making its way on your face.

“Well, yeah…” he answers shyly.

“anything else?” you question, leaning your head in your hands as you look into his big brown eyes.

“Well….. there is one more thing I wrote down….” He answers awkwardly. His eyes sliding to the side to avert your gaze.

“oh? What is it?” you try to take a peek at the paper, curiosity getting the best of you—as usual.

“I’ll just let you read it…” he then pushes the notebook on the table in your direction, you excitedly pick it up and skim the paper. You look at all the things he wrote down, smiling because he even added his own tips.

Buy her flowers.

Movie dates?

Netflix and chill

Cook her dinner

How cute. He even added little doodles. Your eyes continue to skim the page as your smile grows at how much thought he has put into this. Your heart is beating out of your chest…you know this is all fake and for show but you cannot help how happy its making you feel. You continue to smile and hum as your eyes skim lower and lower until you see the last thing on his list.

No Jungkook.

Huh? Your smile begins to falter. No Jungkook? What does that even mean? You look up to meet Taehyungs eyes. He’s already anxiously staring at you.

“I don’t understand?” you breathe out, “What does that mean?”

“No Jungkook.” He half whispers.

“You—you realize he is my best friend? Why no Jungkook?” you pinch your brows together in confusion.

“It’s just…” Taehyung begins to explain himself, “You two are awfully close. And people already get the wrong idea about you two. Like, all the fucking time. Even I think sometimes…that’s not important. It just means for one month, you’re mine. And I don’t want people to get the wrong idea if you’re always with Jungkook.” He pulls at the hair at his neck. “Is this making sense?” Taehyung looks flustered trying to get out all of his words.

“It would make me look pathetic don’t you think? That my supposed girlfriend is always with some other guy? I mean, y/n it’s just for one month…”

One month without Jungkook? Would you really choose a boy over your best friend? Even if only for a month?

“Tae… I don’t know.” You look down at your hands as your breathing begins to pick up.

“I can’t just abandon my best friend for an entire month…”

“I mean, you guys live together so it’s not like you won’t be seeing him. Just in public…ya know?”

Taehyung has a point, you try to reason. If you have a boyfriend it’s only natural to spend most of your time with them. But it still felt wrong. But… a part of you feels like this is a good idea, actually. You’ve always been meaning to put at least some distance between you and Jungkook, ya know, for your own sake. But this feels wrong. You’re about to decline his request when you hear the front door open and Jungkook’s shuffles in. He has his airpods in and doesn’t even spare you a glance. He walks straight to his bedroom and slams the door shut.

You feel embarrassed in front of your guest that your roommate and also yeah, your best fucking friend didn’t even acknowledge you.

“Uh, he’s in a mood” you try covering for Jungkook. Then you feel the buzz of your phone and you go to check it

Jungkook 8:02pm

Watching you fawn over him is just pathetic, but like, good luck.

All you see is red. Jungkook once again shitting on your love life and raining on your god damn parade. You know what? This is your chance with Taehyung and you aren’t going to let your bratty best friend ruin that for you.

“You know what, Tae?” you say setting your phone on the table.

“Yeah?”

“You’re right. I agree with your list.”

“Wait—you do? Even the Jung—”

“Yup.”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side as a wide grin makes its way across his face, “should we shake on it?” he asks with his hand pushed out in front of you.

You take his hand in yours, squeezing tightly before you pull him in and seal the deal with a quick kiss. Taehyung’s shocked expression makes you giggle, “Thought that would make it more official”

“I like having you as a girlfriend already.”

One month without Jungkook? Bring it on.

[fighterkimburgess]

Feelings

It’s after midnight here so I’m posting. HAPPY BIRTHDAY @morganupstead!!! I hope you have a wonderful day, and you enjoy every minute of it. And that you enjoy this too.

Summary: Five times Hailey thought she felt something for Jay, and one time she actually said it.

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: Hailey being introspective about her childhood, abuse mentions.

Wanna join my taglist?

--

1

The first time Hailey Upton thought she could have feelings for her partner, she brushed them aside. She cared for Jay - she had to in her line of work - but it was just friendship, right? They spent an extraordinary amount of time together in work, and at least twice a week also went out for drinks. It was friendship.

But he’d scared her with his actions. She’d seen the signs before, had dealt with it after Booth. The constant vigilance, the what ifs, the overreactions to the little things. He’d told her about Afghanistan. Never anything specific, but he’d been a Ranger and she knew enough to know that to be one you both had to be at the top of your game and had to do the hardest things.

She didn’t want to give him the ultimatum. She didn’t want to have a different partner. They worked so well together most of the time, but if he was so in his head he couldn’t recognise a civilian from a flashback then what would he do to her? She had to trust him with her life every single day, and if he couldn’t protect her when she protected him, their partnership would never work.

Hailey thought they’d never talk about it again after he told her he started seeing someone. But when he opened up and thanked her, said it had helped? She felt a long forgotten part of her heart start to melt a little. But he was her partner, and that was strictly off limits. So she just forgot it existed.

2

They knew he’d gone off the rails. They knew he was doing his own manhunt. And when she rounded that corner with Adam she thought she would lose it seeing Jay on the ground. She heard Adam call the ambo, but she didn’t really remember it, too focused on getting to her partner. She couldn’t lose another partner that way, but he was so still on the ground. And seeing the vest - the shitty probably shouldn’t have stopped the bullet vest - covering his torso, still stained brown and cream instead of blood red like it would be in her dreams.

She held herself together for long enough to get away once she knew he was fine. But it kept floating through her head. What if. What if he had died? What if she’d arrived to his body, not Jay? What if she’d had to tell Will that in the space of a few days he’d lost his dad and brother? What if, what if, what if?

Adam’s arm around her shoulder gave her the comfort to let a tear out, and his words comforted her until they were in his car, letting her get her emotions out. She felt like an idiot. Crying over her partner with Adam, who was so comforting. She thought he got it, she’d seen how he looked at Kim. She knew there was a backstory there, but she very deliberately didn’t ask or want to know.

But then she made the decision to go with him for a drink. And one led to two led to the two of them back at her place, moaning Adam’s name as he made her feel so good, the stresses of the week leaving them both. That night she didn’t go asleep thinking about Jay as she often had, but with Adam’s arm on her hip, his chest against her back. In her dreams, however, she dreamed of a bullet proof vest stained crimson, Jay’s face pale and bloodless.

3

She never wanted to be in this waiting room again. Hailey hated waiting rooms. Hated being stuck there, hated having so much adrenaline and being unable to do anything about it. She’d washed her hands multiple times, trying to get the memory of Jay’s blood off them. Trying to remember that he was there and he was still alive and it’s Jay, he’s a fighter and he’s going to make it. He had to make it.

It took Vanessa and Kim both bringing her back to her seat, Vanessa holding one hand while Kim went to get them coffee, to do something. If she was a religious woman Hailey would have prayed, would have intoned the barely remembered Greek Orthodox words from her childhood to try have something to focus on apart from the reminders of Jay. It was her worst nightmare come to life.

“It’s hard because you love him.” Vanessa stated, Hailey wanting to scoff. She’d kept that secret buried since she’d realised almost a year before. Since she’d been rescued from that shack with Kim, and instead of her boyfriend’s arms around her she’d wanted Jay’s.

“Of course I love him, he’s my partner.” She could tell that Vanessa didn’t believe her, the cop was too intuitive for her own good. But Hailey couldn’t say it out loud.

Because saying it made it real. And if it was real then it could be used against her. She hadn’t said that word since she was a child, seeing it as a weapon instead. But Jay made her realise that maybe, just maybe, it could be something good. Maybe it could be something worth having.

When Marcel came out and said Jay was awake it hit her. He’d be ok. He was going to make it. There was a cheer around the waiting room, the assembled cops beginning to file out now good news had arrived. And when the tall surgeon asked Hailey if she wanted to go see Jay, she stood immediately and followed him to the ICU room. He looked so small in that bed, nothing like the tall, well built man she knew he was. Instead he was weak and pale, a bag of blood being transfused into his veins. Jay’s voice was roughened from the intubation and anaesthesia, and it was the best sound she had ever heard.

Hailey laughed when he asked her to get him out of there, shaking her head but staying by his side until she had to leave. She was there every day until he was released, and when she saw him standing on his own two feet, needing her help to get his sling on, she wanted to scream to the world that she had feelings for him. And she nearly did. The words nearly came out of her mouth if that stupid phone hadn’t rang.

So she put her feelings back in the box they belonged in. Love was for children. Hailey wasn’t a child. She didn’t get to love someone like Jay.

4

At least the back of the truck was comfy for stakeouts. She’d taken her photos using the camera, and was running them through the system when the laptop chimed, and she had an ID for what looked like the witness’s husband. She finished getting the other photos through when Jay arrived, a bouquet of flowers in his hand that he passed back to her. Hailey smiled at the roses and baby’s breath, taking a sniff.

Once she’d explained what she discovered they started driving, the flowers at her side as they did.

“What brought this on?”

“The husband came in, I had to pretend to be a customer. Said I was buying flowers for my girlfriend. Keep them if you want, I don’t want them.”

All through the day the thoughts of the flowers made her want to smile. Her feelings for Jay just kept growing and growing, and she needed to stop thinking about him like this. But she couldn’t. And her fixation on red roses just made it so clear to her that this was probably more than just a crush.

Vanessa got a group together to go to Molly’s, but Hailey turned them down. She wanted to go home, relax, open a beer and stay away from everyone.

She pulled out the one vase she owned, putting them in and fanning them out. Nobody had bought flowers for her ever. They’d always been what her dad had bought for her mom after a particularly bad argument, when he wanted to apologise and pretend nothing had happened. These weren’t them. These were to keep Jay’s cover, to make sure he didn’t get found out for being a cop. That was all.

It didn’t stop her looking at them, and pressing one of the roses between two books to dry it out and keep it.

5

Staring at her wardrobe, the only thing going through her head was “what do you wear when you’re about to spend three weeks with the FBI?”. She’d stopped wearing the pantsuits and blazers that had been a mainstay of her work wardrobe when she’d been in robbery homicide, preferring jeans and flannel for Intelligence where fitting in and being unobtrusive was more important than a CPD dress code. But she pulled out the clothes, folding them carefully into her suitcase for the flight the next morning. As she finished with the last of her sweaters her buzzer went, Hailey going to answer it.

“It’s me. I figured if you’re spending three weeks away from here you’d want Bartoli’s before you leave. I come bearing pizza, beers, and an overnight bag so I can drop you to O’Hare in the morning.”

Hailey buzzed Jay in, a small smile on her face. This was so last minute she’d barely gotten to say goodbye to everyone, but having him come to say goodbye meant a lot. She held the door open, his arms full.

“I figured if you’re not getting Chicago food for a few weeks, go big or go home. We’ve got a Union Stockyard deep dish, fried cheeseballs and a classic Italian salad. Plus a sixpack.” Jay made his way to the couch, spreading out the food he’d brought for them as Hailey pulled out two plates and a knife for the pizza. It didn’t take long for them to dig in, talking crap about the day and their last few cases.

“I’m gonna miss this.” The words fell from her mouth before she even meant them to, Hailey freezing as she did. That was too close to missing Jay.

“Yeah, me too. I’m gonna have to try convince Will to do this with. I mean it’s our thing, y’know?”

“Exactly.” She took the out. She could have said she’d miss him. That she wanted more. But she’d very firmly closed that side of things, she couldn’t let it out. It wasn’t worth letting out when she didn’t think he felt the same way.

The night passed quickly, and by ten they were getting ready to sleep. Her flight left at six, and with getting through TSA she wanted to be there for four. It meant little sleep, but they were used to that at this point.

While she showered Jay made them coffee, handing it across to her exactly how she liked it. It was too early for food so they drank before going out to the truck. Jay grabbed her case and carry on, putting them both in the truck bed. The drive through the Chicago streets was faster than they expected, pulling into the set down area.

“Let me know when you land?” Jay asked as he passed her out her bags. The lump in Hailey’s throat threatened to overwhelm her. It felt like a goodbye.

“I’ll text before I take off and when I land, don’t worry. It’s just three weeks, you were out for longer with your shoulder.” She forced a smile onto her face at her words, watching him act mock wounded.

“You hurt me, Upton. C’mere.” Jay opened his arms for a hug, and Hailey took the comfort willingly. She almost thought she felt his lips press a kiss to her head, but she knew she was wrong. There was no way.

“Do good, but not so good they try to steal you away. Intelligence can’t be the same without you.”

“I’ve no intention of leaving, Halstead.”

She waved as she walked into the terminal building, badge on her hip to help her get through easier. Three weeks without Jay. She could do it.

+1

The sun was beginning to stream in through the curtains, and Hailey turned over to hide from the light. If she didn’t see it, it didn’t exist, which meant she didn’t have to get up yet. That was completely how it worked. Not her just wanting more sleep because they didn’t make it home until three am because of a raid that went long. Not at all.

“I can tell you’re awake,” Jay whispered in her ear, holding her tight and pressing kisses to her shoulder.

“Ssssh, no. Sleep now. Kisses later. You know what I’m like when I don’t get enough sleep.”

“True, you turn into a coffee monster at the best of times. Or a pen thief at the worst.”

He tightened his arms around her slightly, and Hailey dozed back off to sleep securely.

When she woke up a few hours later Hailey was alone in their bed. Jay had officially moved in the month before, to their condo and their bed. She got a thrill through her spine at the memories of their life together. But she followed her nose, throwing on a t-shirt and padding out to the kitchen where Jay was making waffles.

“You were supposed to still be in bed.” Jay greeted her with a kiss, two waffles already plated beside him and bacon draining on a paper towel. “I wanted to treat you.”

“You’re making breakfast, that’s enough of a treat. Want me to set the table?” He nodded so she did, pulling out cutlery and making coffee that was ready as Jay brought their plates over.

“I love you.” The words fell from Hailey’s mouth more easily than she ever thought they could have before.

“I love you too. You know that, right?” Jay asked, Hailey smiling at his words to make sure she knew she was safe with him.

“I do. You promised me we’d work it out, and we are. But this…just doing this just because? It means a lot.”

“Enough for us to shower together?” Hailey burst out laughing at her boyfriend’s waggling eyebrows, pressing a syrup sticky kiss to his mouth in response. And once they finished eating, she intertwined their fingers to bring him back to their bedroom for their lazy day off.

Taglist: @amandarrollins @amazingbutterflyes @chicagoames @blonde-freckles @morganupstead @brookerz122493 @mnt2live4more @redpoodlern @alkadri-layal @stephanie708 @tuxieboy101-blog @thelittlepterophyllum @planecrazylex @bluecrush129 @rawgiel @milahs @onechicago18 @sophiatellerrhodes @eternal-olicity @upstead7 @ossypooh @cathiernboss @upsteadlovingheart @varshacmartin @dissociation-writes @xxxjocexxx @the-starry-nights-lover @torreshalstead @itsnotpersonalbut @leymr @firemedncopshows @alldaysdreamers @gsophie43 @angelsjedi @multicouple-lover

[exosmutfactory]

Six Phases 006 Pt 6

Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.

A/N: I couldn't find a picture to match Baekhyun's appearance—so I chose one that fits his mood instead  2.0 😅 ♡

[ contains: angst ] Two’s a couple, Three’s a crowd 💔

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2) —– P(3)  P(4) —– P(5)  P(6) ✓ ||| ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1)  P(2)

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

My heels click rhythmically on the sidewalk, in perfect sync with the song I’m humming. I’ve taken a liking to listening to new music lately instead of sticking to the same old artists that I’ve heard a thousand times. Trying to expand my horizons and replace sob-inducing ballads with uplifting trap beats.

It’s going okay so far: moving on. Learning how to navigate the world while riding solo. It’s not like I haven’t done it before—sleepless nights aren’t new. Lack of appetite isn’t either. A breakup will never be the end of the world, no matter how excruciating it is. So why should I let it hold me back and define me?

Birds chirp merrily in the trees, bringing a smile to my face, especially when I catch sight of a little hummingbird enjoying nectar from a patch of flowers. If there’s one thing I can say that has helped me during this time, it’s nature. Simply looking out at the world from my apartment window and taking long walks around the more remote parts of this city have calmed my soul more than I can express with words.

I’m watching the squirrels scurry around on the other side of the street while waiting for the crosswalk light to turn green when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I sigh, so much for a moment of tranquility.

I pull my phone out of my tiny jean pocket, furrowing my brows at the caller ID. Jongin…? That’s strange, has he ever called me before? I rack my brain for answers. Nope, this is the first time he is calling me. Flashbacks of our distant friendship since that one summer fight I had with a certain someone flashes through my mind... I press my phone to my ear before I can overthink it any longer. "Hello?"

"Riley." Jongin’s smooth voice filters over the line.

"Hi," I mumble, continuing down the street, noticing a beautiful blue and green butterfly flying by with a smile. The pitter patter of a water fountain in the distance has me falling back into my 'Zen’ mode. "What’s up? How are you?"

"I need a favor." He drops; straight to the point. Sending me right into a panic.

My phone nearly falls to the ground. "...You didn’t break a leg or something-"

"No, no," He immediately responds, recognizing the high pitch of hysteria in my voice. "It’s nothing bad."

Thank fuck, the last thing I need right now is bad news. It may be the end of March, but I’m not really feeling this 'Spring’ season. My mood shifts faster than the strong wind. The only stress I try to have nowadays are always work related because if I stop and think about my personal life for a moment I am fucked.

I take a deep breath, leaning my back against a light pole before replying to him. "Okay."

"There’s a dance competition in June," He slowly explains, "and I need a partner."

"Oh..." I blink a few times, straightening back up. "Huh… I’m sorry, I’m not really good at choosing candidates. I’m not a professional-"

"I mean you." He interjects, background music drifting over the line. "I want you to be my partner."

I pull the phone away from my ear for a moment, looking at it in disbelief, "I'm sorry—What?"

"I have a routine already," His voice takes on a warmer tone, pure persuasion dripping from his honeyed words. "With your name all over it."

"...Eh??" I look off to the side, trying in vain to find something—anything to distract me from the tingles zapping down my spine at the sound of his voice. God… what the fuck? "Don’t you have like a million other people who specialize in-"

"I made the choreography for you."

My heart hammers in my chest. "And why the heck would you do that?" I demand, tightening my grip on the phone. Something out of the corner of my eye suddenly captures my attention, dragging my eyes over to it instantly. The sight that greets me has my throat going dry, gulping as my hands shake.

It’s Baekhyun—and he isn’t alone.

He’s accompanied by a tall, beautiful woman, the same height as him in her flat sandals. Her black hair reaches the middle of her back, contrasting against her light blue overalls and swaying softly in the cool wind. They lean against a brick wall next to a cute coffee shop with matching coffee cups in their hands.

Jongin’s words fade into background noise while I watch them. My vision blurs when she laughs, resting her hand on his arm. The way she easily initiates physical contact with him speaks volumes; this isn’t their first meeting. It’s been 2 months since January, and yet...

My heart constricts painfully in my chest, I suck in a deep breath. Lightheadedness hits me full force, I quickly cling onto the pole when my body sways off balance. Shit… I must have been holding my breath. 

"Riley?" Jongin’s muffled voice drifts from my distant phone. Thankfully it fell onto the parking meteor next to me and not on the ground. "Riley!"

Burning a hole into the back of Baekhyun’s silver-haired head, I bring the phone back to my ear. "I’ll do it," I mumble lowly.

"I’m sorry?"

Staring at Baekhyun and his new friend, I make my decision. "I’ll be your partner."

•••

Okay… Maybe I was too hasty in agreeing to this whole dance competition thing. I should have waited to make a decision when I was in a better state of mind.

It’s been a good four weeks since I agreed to be Jongin’s partner—four weeks of pure hell.

If I had known what kind of dance moves were incorporated in this routine I never ever would have agreed. The choreography appears simple and subtle enough on the surface, especially thanks to Jongin’s gifted skills, but that’s the problem. It’s not simple; it’s a fucking ankle breaker. It’s pure well-organized insanity and I don’t know how much more of it that I can take.

"From the top," Jongin’s voice echoes in the dance studio. He presses a remote to start the song over again. I try to stay focused, ignoring the looming figures of the other hostile dancers in the room. Why they all gathered here to watch us practice today, I have no idea, but it isn’t helping me at all.

The bass booming from the stereo speakers vibrates the wood under my feet. Sweat permeates the air. Their predator-like stares break me down from the inside out. The memory of Baekhyun with that woman pops into my mind...

"5, 6, 7-"

Shit!

Gasps echo around the room when it happens: I collapse onto the floor, clutching onto my throbbing ankle.

"Riley?!" Something about the alarm in Jongin’s voice makes me wince, curling in on myself as everyone’s whispers float into the air.

"Oh my god, is she serious...?"

"See what I mean! She has two left feet. Why is he wasting his time on her?"

"Dumbass can’t even do a single number, let alone a simple choreography. The way he chose that over me…"

I try my best to reel in my emotions, to keep the hurt from being seen on my face, but there’s only so much I can bear—there’s only so much I can take.

Tears pelt down my face while their loud gasps and delighted giggles fill the air. I make a move to climb to my feet, ready to bolt out of here and never step foot in this place again when a gentle hand on my shoulder stops me.

"Riley." It’s Jongin, crouching down to meet my eye. "Are you okay?"

I can only shake my head, losing my breath as their taunting voices swirl around my head like a whirlpool, consuming me whole.

"Riley, stay with me." Jongin rests both his hands on my shoulders, directing my eyes to his whenever I look away. "Talk to me. What’s wrong?"

"I-I," I choke, covering my face in my hands before I sob pathetically on the hardwood floor. The throbbing of my backside and ankle only makes it worse.

"Ri-"

"Look at her! Pathetic at it’s finest."

Jongin stiffens, I don’t even need to see him to know that he’s gone rigid. His hand slips off my shoulder as I watch his silhouette rise from the spaces between my fingers, standing to his full height.

"Mind sharing with the class what you just said, Kim Nora?" He looks at the woman in the middle of the 5 dancers leaning against the far wall, his jaw clenching.

"I-"

"If you have something to say, say it."

"I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for years. Years, Jongin!" She snaps, her shrill voice bouncing off of the walls. "I’m on time for every rehearsal. I practice until I bleed. Why does this no-name slut get to come in here and take it from me when she can’t even stand on her own two feet?!"

"Kim Nora." The way he says her name has everyone on edge. My back prickles in fear and secondhand embarrassment. He’s not even directing that stone cold tone at me and I’m hella uncomfortable sitting here.

"Who’s dance studio is this, Nora?"

"Yours-" She looks away, not brave enough to meet his eyes anymore. "-M-Mr. Kim..."

Jongin hums, holding his hands behind his back while pacing up and down the floor. "Who’s name is on the sign out front, everyone?"

"Yours, Mr. Kim." They chime in sync with meek voices. A look of regret painted on every single one of their faces.

"Mine." He concludes, satisfied before turning his dark eyes back onto Nora. "Let me explain something to you, Nora."

Her eyes stay focused on the floor.

"This is my practice, my building." He stops pacing, stretching his arms out to showcase the room. "You are under my roof." He looks dead at her, eyes colder than ice. "You are here because I let you. Do you understand that?"

"Y-yes, sir, but I-"

"Next time," He cuts her off, "You decide to be immature. Next time, you decide that your knowledge is anything close to my expertise." He steps closer, and I’ve never seen a person standing 3 feet away have such an impact on an individual. "Next time, you decide to mock one of my friends." He lowers his voice, and I can feel the heavy promise coming off him in waves. "You are gone. Do you understand me?"

Nora babbles something unintelligible, tears brimming her eyeliner caked eyes.

"Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes!" She sucks in a breath, snot clogging her nose as she directs her eyes back to the floor. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He steps away, turning on his heel before rushing back over to me. "Riley," His voice is softer now, much like the Jongin who helped rescue me from my birthday party 2 years ago.

"Hey..." I hush, lowering my hands to my lap.

"Are you okay?" He hands me a clean towel, his brows furrowed in worry. "How’s your ankle?"

"I-It’s fine."

He raises a brow, reaching out a hand to me. "May I?"

"Yeah." I sigh, noticing the familiar look of concern on his face.

Jongin takes my ankle into his hands, handling it carefully and pressing a few places. "Does it hurt?" His frown deepens when I wince. "And here?"

"Yeah," I nod, my face pinched up in pain.

"From 1 to 10," He continues, looking me dead in the eyes, "How much pain are you in?"

My lips part to answer, but I pause, biting the bullet and wiggling my ankle around to see how bad it actually is. "F-four out of ten." I grit out, still so sensitive that tears sting my eyes again.

"It’s sprained." He concludes, gently lowering it back to the floor.

"W-what does that mean?" I ask fearfully. Whatever it means, it doesn’t sound good with the contest 6 weeks away. Shit, why am I such a fuck up? What if I can’t perform let alone learn the choreography in time? I’m such a failure, I-

"It’s not bad," He reassures, resting a comforting hand on my arm. "A few days off of it and you should be good as new."

"R-really?" 

Jongin nods, smiling softly. "Nothing a few days off can’t fix."

"Oh, thank you," I whisper in relief, wrapping my arms around his neck to mask the tears that escape my eyes. "Thank you, thank you."

"No," Jongin shakes his head, hugging me warmly, whispering just as quietly in my ear. "Thank you."

•••

After that day, none of the dancers have bothered me, let alone showed up to any more dance practices. Jongin made sure of that. No one fucked around with him either after the way he resolved the issue. An angry Jongin is a scary Jongin; that much I know now.

Sighing softly, I look up at the fluffy clouds overhead, trying to salvage the calm that washes over me in wake of April’s flourishing weather. The flowers are more alive than ever. Small animals and other critters run around for food on the ground. The world around me is the picture-perfect example of nature at its finest—so why is there an uneasy feeling weighing on my chest?

Work is going well and the book we had spent months and months preparing was released last week. I’m on my way to the nearest bookstore to grab a copy for myself. To check that no grammar related errors got past my keen eyes or because I genuinely enjoy the novel, who knows. I want to see the final product for myself and check out other releases. It’s about time I pick up another book besides the one I stayed up countless nights making sure everything was finalized.

A cute bell chimes when I step through the door, hit with the aroma of fresh coffee. Every time I go to a bookstore or library, it’s like I am stepping into another world. The shelves filled to the brim with hundreds, maybe thousands of literature, all at the touch of your fingertips.

From ebooks to the dusty classics, I love them all. I may not read everything; I might be one of the pickiest readers out there, but I appreciate the blood, sweat, and tears that go into every completed book. Good or bad, the author has big balls for trying and putting their name out there. I have mad respect for that.

Venturing further into the shop, my eyes catch the Fantasy section with ease. I make my way over, already seeing a colorful display set out for the newest releases. The sight of the book I’m looking for brings a smile to my face. It feels different to see it in a store instead of reading the rough drafts in the comfort of my bed. Damn the graphic designers put their foot in the cover; it captures the personalities of the main characters perfectly. I couldn’t be more proud.

My smile widens the closer I get to the display, realizing that there is only one copy left of the book. Deserved; everyone from the author to the marketing team have done their best to make this book a big seller. Thankfully the universe left one just for me.

Just as my fingertips touch the edge of the paperback cover, someone else’s hand brushes against mine.

"Oh! Sorry-"

"Ah, I’m so sor-"

My heart plummets and my head snaps up to look at them at once. Puppy brown eyes that I could identify out of countless others and a million stars stare wide-eyed right back into mine.

Fuck.

"Riley?" He breathes, his handsome face painted in disbelief.

I can only wheeze, my chest throbbing as if my heart will explode.

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck—

Before he can say another word, before I can crumble in front of his questioning orbs, I turn on my heel and sprint out of there like a bat out of hell.

I’ve been doing better, I’m slowly healing from it all, but the moment I see his face—his sweet, tired, kicked-puppy face, I fold quicker than an umbrella in an incoming hurricane. It hurts worse than the force of an 18-wheeler. My whole world full of its fragile edges and duct tape unravels under the weight.

Normally, I wouldn’t do this.

…

Okay scratch that—I used to do this. All the damn time, but with the way our lives have changed and that one conversation we had back in March 2 years ago I… I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk to him. I’ve made it my mission to avoid Sehun.

I know what he will say the minute I tell him what’s up: I told you so—the bane of my existence. That one phrase alone is enough to keep me from confessing so many things. I rather suffer in silence than hear that sentence, but… This is different.

No matter how much it pains me and paints me in shame, I need to tell my best friend what's been going on. After everything he has done for me since our childhood... I owe him that much. So here I am now.

I chew on my bottom lip and knock firmly on his apartment door, waiting for someone to answer with bated breath.

It opens a few minutes later, revealing his unmistakable tall form as he dries his hair. Sehun does a double take. "Shorty?" He breathes in disbelief, pausing in ruffling his messy black locks.

I laugh a little, warmth sparking in my aching heart from the nickname. "Yeah," I breathe, managing a wobbly smile, already feeling tears prickle my eyes. "That's me."

We stare at each other for a long moment, nothing but the distant swish of driving cars and the muffled conversations happening beyond the open balcony on his floor fills the silence. Ah… My heart squeezes painfully in my chest. I shouldn’t have come here. He’s probably busy enough as it is-

As if reading my mind, Sehun’s gaze softens. He throws the towel around his neck before opening his arms. "Come here."

I bury myself in his chest without hesitation, soaking the fabric of his black t-shirt with my tears. "I’m sorry," I croak, holding back sobs.

"Hey, hey," a low, soothing voice chimes in, resting a hand on my arm. "What happened?" 

"I don’t know," Sehun mumbles, rubbing my back as I shake in his arms. "But whoever did it will be missing an arm."

"N-No need, Hun," I sniffle with a shaky sigh, pulling away from his embrace. A chill covers my skin with goosebumps the moment I step away. It’s been like this all week; feeling hot to the touch, yet shaking like a leaf at the same time. I have no idea what is going on, and at this point… I don’t want to know. I can say that for a lot of things.

Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I turn around, smiling apologetically at the brown-haired man standing in the doorway. "I’m sorry for popping up out of the blue, Lu."

"Nonsense," Luhan shakes his head, his curly hair partially covering his worry-filled eyes. He takes my hand between his, "Come in, I’ll make us some tea."

"Okay," I whisper, shuffling into their apartment. I take the tissue box he offers me, following him into the spacious living room. He goes into the kitchen while I sit down on their couch, my breath hitching from the emotions budding in my chest.

Sehun closes the door, noisily walking on the wooden floor in his flip flops. He sits down next to me, questioning me with his unwavering stare, but I can’t bring myself to meet his eye. I… I don’t know where to begin; I can’t even find the words. The squeal of the teapot in the other room fills the tense silence between us.

"Alright," He sighs, propping his foot up on the coffee table and resting his arm on his knee before giving me a hard look. "What did Byun do?"

I choke, snapping my eyes to his, "How do you know?"

"You never visit," He points out in the driest of tones. "And when you do, you always call first."

I can only lower my head, pulling my knees to my chest.

"You don’t usually cry after seeing my face either. I mean," He continues, nudging me with his elbow. "Am I ugly or something?"

I snort. "Shut up." Shaking my head, I sigh deeply. "I just… A lot has happened." Risking a peek at him, my shoulders relax at the worried furrow of his brows and the care in his sharp brown eyes.

He nods, smiling the softest that I’ve seen in a long time. "I got time." 

I smile a little, my chest bursting in gratefulness for having a friend like him in my life. No matter what happens or what I get into, I can always count on Sehun to be there.

…

If only I didn’t have so much baggage to bring to his door.

"I…" Come on; I ball my hands into the fabric of my shirt. Say it.

Sehun keeps his eyes on me and I struggle more to get the words out, my chest starting to heave. Should I be here? Should I be doing this? What will he say? What if this just makes everything worse—

No.

Sehun is my best friend. We have shared so many memories together, the good and the bad. I was the first person he came out to. He was there when my father walked out of my life. I cheered him on as he climbed the ranks of his weight training team. He helped me catch fireflies in my backyard when all I could rely on was my poor eyesight.

It’s always been him and I against this cruel world. One man—one boy, won’t change that overnight.

"I broke up with Baekhyun." 

"What?!" Sehun leaps off of the couch. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah..." I drag out, looking him up and down in confusion. Panic hits me in the gut. "W-Why? What’s wrong-"

"Dude!" He exclaims, tangling his hands in his hair, the most comically distressed expression on his normally 'bitch’ face. "I thought he broke up with you."

The thought of what would have happened if Baekhyun had been the one to dump me makes my heart hurt so much I feel the color drain from my face.

"H-Hey," Sehun immediately takes notice, waving his hands around. "Not on the couch, anywhere but the couch-"

Luhan suddenly appears behind him with a tray of drinks, lovingly smacking the back of his head. "Here," He soothes, ignoring Sehun’s pelulant whines while setting down the tray on the coffee table and offering a mug to me.

"Thank you, Lu." I breathe, smiling when the scent of lemon and ginger hits my nose.

Luhan takes the seat on the other side of me, resting a comforting hand on my knee. "We’re here." He nods, sharing a look with Sehun before focusing back on me with the gentlest of eyes. "Whenever you are ready."

Gulping, I curl my fingers around my mug, the warmth of the tea and their soft eyes giving me the strength to open up.

I am finally able to put everything into words… I just hope we all make it out unscathed. 

Closing my eyes, I start from the very beginning, updating them on what has happened since the year we started dating. The summer fight I never told Sehun about, Baekhyun’s ex Haneul following me around. The French lady at the photoshoot, the model behind the scenes. Our fight that reached the public. What went down at the Byun’s house… And finally… how I ran, and never looked back.

Sehun’s facial expressions shift from one extreme to the next throughout my confession. At one point I have to look away from him, stuttering the more I see the disappointment in his eyes. By the end of it, I’m mumbling to the lukewarm mug between my palms rather than them.

My words trail off into silence, nothing but the ticking of Luhan’s treasured grandfather clock making a sound. I’ve grown to hate this the most: the empty space that leaves room for my thoughts to sneak up on me again.

"You were hiding all of this..." Sehun speaks up, betrayal joining the disappointment in his eyes. "All this time."

A lump forms in my throat, "I-"

"You kept this to yourself for years." He grits out, his voice growing sadder by the minute. "Years, Riley."

"I’m sorry," I sob, curling up into a ball, choking on my tears. "I’m s-so sorry."

"Why?" He runs a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"I-I didn’t wanna bother you," I babble, gasping so much for air I choke even more. "You’re busy with work and your own love life, who am I to bother you with my problems?" Tears blur my vision and stain my glasses, rolling uncomfortably down the bridge of my nose. "Isn’t that what growing up is about?" I whisper, staring lifelessly down at my untouched tea. "Learning how to depend on yourself?"

"Riley, I don’t care if you’re fucking 80." Sehun barks, scaring me until he opens his arms, forgiveness swirling in his softened brown eyes. "You can come to me for anything."

"O-Okay," I mumble, hiding in his chest.

"Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"I don’t care if you shave your relaxed hair, adopt a cat, or the world is on fire." He proclaims sternly. "No matter what, you can always come to me."

The comforting smell of fresh laundry on his clothes has my shoulders relaxing, my sobs quieting down to small hiccups. "Okay." 

"Good. Now take these sweaters back."

His words take a few moments to register in my sluggish mind. "Huh?" I blink, lifting my head off of him, sitting up fully and immediately recognizing the bundle of clothes in Luhan’s hands. "No," I shake my head, ignoring how dizzy I suddenly feel. "Sehun, those are yours-"

"And I want you to have them."

"I-" My heart constricts in conflict, "But-"

"But nothing. You act like I don’t know that your ass gets cold." He mutters grumpily, crossing his arms. "Keep them, alright?" Being the observant guy that he is, he picks up on my weary glance at Luhan. "Lu chipped in some of his too."

"Mine are comfier," His boyfriend jokes, smiling cheekily.

"Yah."

"You know it’s the truth."

"Only because you—yah! Why are you crying now?!"

"I just…" I sniffle, laughing softly. "I love you guys."

Luhan’s smile brightens while I whine over Sehun messing up my hair. "We love you more."

•••

May passes by in the blink of an eye, mature plants welcoming the upcoming summer heat. I love and hate this for two reasons. One, it’s a certain someone-who-shall-not-be-named birth month. Two, the dance competition is two weeks away. Two weeks. It is literally May 20th and I am sweating my hair out over it.

Why did I agree to this forsaken competition again? Oh right—I decided that a two-step routine is the equivalent of a love triangle. Nice going, Riley.

I sigh, wiping my forehead with the back of my arm. Two weeks until the competition means that my schedule is more packed. Yeah Park’s Publishing may be on an "easy going" break from publishing books right now, but I’m not getting a breather. 

Nope, the moment I jokingly told Jongin how I didn’t know what to do with all my free time, he brought up daily dance practice—no, he down right demanded it. And when I started to complain:

"What? It’s not like you have anything else better to do."

I’ve been seething over that for a week.

Huffing at the memory, I plop my bag not-so-subtly on a chair before looking at Jongin on the other side of the room.

"Glaring at me won’t help you perfect the choreo faster-"

"Suck my dick."

"Oh, baby," He grins, raising a brow. "I would if I could." He saunters his way over to me, his beautiful bronze skin already glowing in a thin sheen of sweat when he leans down to face me, "but I don’t mind either way."

I push him away with a hard roll of my eyes, "Let’s get this over with."

"Feisty," He humors. "Someone is feeling better today."

"Better enough to kick your ass," I mutter, tying up my hair in a messy bun.

"Let’s rehearse the second verse," He takes a swing of his water bottle, a serious expression on his features. "Then we’ll talk." 

"Bring it on," I lift my chin, playing tough despite the nervousness washing over me.

He nods, grabbing the stereo remote and getting into position. "Show me what you got."

We go over the steps one last time before we begin. The first half of the choreo goes smoothly… and then I stumble the moment the second chorus hits.

"Let’s take a break."

"No," I shake my head, resting my hands on my knees.

"Riley."

"One more time." I pant, trying to catch my breath. "I swear I got it, just-"

"We’ve been at it for 30 minutes."

"But-"

"Break. Now."

I flop to the floor in a tired heap, groaning loudly to annoy him. I’m grateful he called for a break though, my flat feet are crying for mercy like no one’s business. Maybe I should—"Ah," I sigh in relief.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking off my shoes," I mumble, throwing him a look over my shoulder, not liking his attitude. "My feet are dying over here."

Jongin raises a brow, leaning against the mirror on the other side of the room. "Your parents didn’t see a pediatrician about that?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Born and raised in America," I chirp. "The land of the free, Mother fucka."

Both his brows shoot up. "Are you feverous?"

"No," I mumble, fiddling with a loose string on my shirt. "It’s really hot out."

"Have you been sleeping?" His eyes narrow at my lack of response. "Riley?"

"Oh would you look at that, the ceiling tiles have a noticeable gap between them-"

"Sit down."

"I’m fine." I sigh, reluctantly dragging myself over to the only chair in the room.

"You won’t be if you keep this up." He points out, more than a little peeved. "Have you been drinking enough?"

"I-"

He thrusts his water bottle in front of me. "Drink this."

"But you drank from it!"

"I’ll give you mouth to mouth too if you don’t sit your ass down."

I blink, giving him a long, wide-eyed stare. "Why so serious?" The fed up expression on his face is enough of an answer. "Okay—okay! Fine." Inspecting the bottle for anything floating around on the bottom, I tilt my head back to pour some water in my mouth, mumbling with stuffed cheeks, "There, happy?"

Jongin just sighs, turning on a rotating fan. "Stay here. I don’t want you moving until you finish that bottle."

"Sir yes sir," I mutter, giving a little salute. Grinning when he glares sternly at me. He sighs before going back to the other side of the room.

Watching him practice his solo parts in the mirror, I leisurely sip from the bottle, noticing how his shirt sticks to his fit body. Jongin is tall, a bit broad, and lean. He has a dancer’s body and muscle in all the right places—I can’t imagine his diet. I shiver at the thought of it, checking my forehead. I’m not picky about fitness; I’m a bit on the curvy side myself. I rather have something to sink my fingers into. Speaking of which...

"Hey, Jongin?" I call him tentatively, continuing when he hums. "Why… Why did you make a choreo with me in mind?"

He doesn’t respond for a minute, and I wonder if he will until he goes over to retrieve something from his bag. "I always wanted to dance with you," He admits, throwing a towel around his neck. "To know what it was like to view your beauty up close." He bends his knee, bracing his foot against the wall as my eyes widen. "The way you move, twirl around, and glide across the floor. The blissed out expression on your face… You are at home on the dancefloor, and it shows." He looks up at me then. "You shine brighter than a million stars."

I forget how to breathe for a moment, staring at him with wide eyes and a racing heart.

"I’ve never been envious of Baekhyun but..." His sultry eyes meet mine again. "When it comes to you, it’s hard to fight my jealousy."

My lips part a few times, endless questions dying on the tip of my tongue. Realizing I’m gaping like a fish out of water, I settle for looking down with a hot blush.

Jongin chuckles, tossing his towel onto his bag. "Come on," He pushes off of the wall, walking over to me and taking me by the hand. "Let’s finish up for today."

"I can stand up on my own, you know?" I grumble. "...Thank you."

He just smiles before we take our positions in the middle of the room.

We take it from the top again, soaring through the routine without a hiccup. I put all my energy into not missing a step, dancing beside and around him with ease—

"Stop."

"What?" I blink, turning around to him. "What’s wrong now?"

"That."

"What?" I repeat, my eyes narrowing.

"That." He emphasises, gesturing to me. "You’re too tense. You need to relax."

"How do you expect me to relax, Jongin?" I mumble heatedly, hurt swelling inside of my chest. "I broke up with the love of my life. I had a shitty week. I can barely do the second verse of the choreo without breaking my ankles-"

"You can’t relax," He speaks up, suddenly standing in front of me. Staring into my eyes with his determined ones. "Because you don’t want to."

"I-"

"You fear what will happen if you do." He continues, holding me captive with his piercing gaze. "You fear the unknown."

"D-Don’t I have the right to...?" I hush, feeling my heart race the longer I look into his observant brown eyes. A part of me hates it; being read like an open book. My vulnerabilities and weak points on display without me wanting them to be. But this is Jongin.

He stares deep into my eyes, his minty breath washing over my cheeks. "Not on my watch."

There’s nothing to fear.

He selects a song for the stereo to play, and the moment a certain afrobeat instrumental plays through its speakers, I feel the urge to move my body deep in my soul.

"Let go," He encourages, turning around to meet my eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

Woman

Let me be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I can be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I’m intimidated by my reflection in the mirror. The sight of me with messy hair, dewy skin, baggy clothes, and my bare feet makes me feel like the wildest looking woman in the world… until I see the sadness and fear visible in my own eyes.

Let me be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I can be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

Slowly, I move my hips to the beat, getting a feel for it while watching myself in the mirror. My awkward posture makes me tsk, shifting into a more flattering and stable position. 

What you need?

She give tenfold, come here, papa, plant your seed

She can grow it from her womb, a family

Provide lovin' overlooked and unappreciated, you see (Yeah)

The lyrics… A sense of empowerment washes over me in waves, motivating the swirl of my hips and the smile forming on my lips. The melody of the song begins to seep into my very bones, warming me up from the inside out.

You can reciprocate

I got delicious taste, you need a woman's touch in your place

Just protect her and keep her safe

Baby, worship my hips and waist

So feminine with grace

I touch your soul when you hear me say, "Boy"

Let me be your woman

Winding my waist feels like the most natural thing in the world, circling my wrists while bringing my hands back down to my sides. I can see Jongin’s proud smile from the corner of my eye.

My movements get more energetic as the chorus plays again, the repetitive lyrics flowing like the blood in my veins, felt deep in my very being. Hitting me on a level that very few things ever could.

I glide across the floor when the second verse begins, letting my hair loose and throwing my weight around. The soreness of my waist only makes me shimmer harder, fighting against the aches trying to hold me back—against the chains locked in my mind.

Princess or queen, tomboy or king (Yeah)

You've heard a lot, you've never seen (Nah)

Mother Earth, Mother Mary rise to the top

Divine feminine, I'm feminine (Why?)

Throwing my hands up, I smile as Jongin starts complimenting my movements, playing a smooth rhythmic cat and mouse game with him all over the dance studio. My bare feet on the wooden floor propels me forward, making me feel more connected with the Earth around me, with the woman I want to be.

I’ve caught up to him by the time the song ends, breathing heavily with giddiness pumping in my veins. For the first time in months, maybe even years, I feel like me again—I’ve found myself again.

A hand tucking hair behind my ear has my eyes snapping up to Jongin’s, the adoring expression in his chestnut brown eyes making me feel small and appreciated at the same time. He cradles my face in the palm of his hand, rubbing his thumb over the apple of my cheek. Tingles erupt on my skin; my heart swells with something I haven’t felt in a long time when he starts to lean in.

"You were out fucking Jongin."

I flinch away, pressing my back to the wall, my heart in my throat. "I-I," I look away, hot embarrassment painting my face red. "I don’t want to make you a rebound." A thought occurs to me at that moment: how much taller and stronger Jongin is than me. The consequence of my actions. The vacant practice room. Fearing the worst, I hold my breath, squeezing my eyes shut.

Nothing happens for a while, the silence dragging on for so long that I start to grow lightheaded, cursing myself for agreeing to all of this in the first place.

Are you happy?

I pause, thinking hard for a moment. Despite the rain cloud constantly hanging over my head, I am doing something that I love. Regardless of me looking like pure shit, Jongin sees a light in me. And against all the fucking odds, I… I feel liberated. I feel free.

With that, I open my eyes, staring fearlessly at the man in front of me.

To my surprise, Jongin smiles. "I don’t want to overstep my boundaries," He mumbles, resting his forehead on mine.

A smile breaks out on my face, putting my secret dimples on full display.

It’s finally D Day—the dance competition is just about to begin, and I can’t for the life of me find my bracelet.

"Do you really need that?" Jongin carefully ruffles his styled hair, squinting with one eye over at me.

"It’s for luck," I justify, searching both our bags.

"You depend on a silly little bracelet to give you luck?"

"My grandma made it for me," I snap, my blood pressure skyrocketing.

"Okay, okay—you," He gently takes me by the shoulders, directing me to his chair. "Sit. I’ll find it."

Finding that all-too-familiar 'no nonsense’ expression on his face, I sigh, carefully covering my eyes with my hand. Both of us got our makeup done for today. He’s got on a golden glimmer of eyeshadow to bring out the sultry brown of his eyes, and I’m rocking a burgundy shade that makes my eyes have their own sensual glare in the mirror.

Tucking my hair-sprayed hair behind my ear, I wince at the thought of washing it out later, but the end result is worth it. My brown hair is bone-straight, complementing Jongin’s lavender-gray, middle-parted hair. Not gonna lie, he’s a total eye-candy right now in that red jacket and mesh shirt, and his stage presence is to die for. His oozing confidence just pumps me up even more.

Watching him pull out my bracelet from some hidden department that I have never seen before in my life and come over to strap it onto my wrist with the gentlest touch has newfound hope blossoming in my heart. We came to perform and we came to perform well.

As if hearing my thoughts, Jongin looks up at me at that moment, nodding firmly.

I nod right back, smiling softly. Win or lose, we are going to give it our all.

We make our way out of the dressing room, listening for our cue from the staff member next to the gap leading out onto the stage. They give directions to someone in their headset before giving us the signal.

I can hear the crowd as we step onto the stage, vibrating the floor under us and my whole being with their excited cheers. Nerves aren't pumping furiously through my veins. No, pure adrenaline guides me forward, and the reassuring smile Jongin sends my way makes me at ease all the more.

When the lights dim and the music starts, my hands are already in my hair, my hips popping to the beat.

Just let it flow as it is for me.

As it moves, show me.

I slide down into a crouch, spreading my knees before rolling my neck to the beat. Quickly standing back up, I slowly run my hands through my hair, swaying my hips side to side. I stop moving to let the crowd focus on Jongin, watching him with a smile.

The party has been getting boring.

Jongin starts doing his own thing while I beckon him closer with a body roll, strutting to him on the other side of the stage. I strike a different pose along to the beat, rubbing my hands over my body and rolling my hips. 

Don’t hide it anymore for me

Sliding my hand down my chest, we lock eyes before the chorus hits.

The reason that hides your heart

Do you feel it triggering me a bit?

Here comes the fun part; we sync up our dance moves. Shooting each other little smiles while staying on beat. My long hair sways in the wind; the feeling of being free—free to be me striking me with a sense of comfort in this moment. Jongin catches my eye as if he feels it as well, his killer smirk morphing into a heartwarming smile.

Baby don’t play with me

I slow down to sway my hips to the beat while Jongin slides behind me, pressing his firm chest to my back. The ripples of his abs brush against me through the fabric of his mesh-shirt, warming my sun-kissed skin under the light heat of the partially cloudy sky. His hand tucks under my chin when I face him for the next lyric, "You’re my VIP."

(She talkin’ about)

We sync up again for the next part of the choreography, making me giggle in delight, beaming over the fact that I might have cried a hundred times practicing this choreo but I can finally say that I can dance it without breaking my ankles. And the proud smile on Jongin’s face adds onto that fact.

He points out to the crowd and we change positions as the pre chorus starts again. Jongin acts like the cool, smooth man that he is while I roll my way back to him, matching his moves before blowing a kiss to the crowd when the chorus kicks back in again.

Top down ya

It could be you and me, it could be you and me

I place my hand on Jongin’s shoulder, strutting around him while he shrugs off his jacket. Preparing for the bridge that we changed last minute. Now it’s his time to shine.

Now let me give you what you want tonight

You told me

I take a step back, focusing on complimenting his movements while he has his moment to woo the crowd. Those charming smirks and attractive smiles can steal the heart of anyone, especially the cheering people standing in the front row. There’s a lot of things I’ve learned recently about Jongin, and his unmistakable stage presence is one of them.

The chorus comes back one final time and we go all out. Dancing until our feet ache and the wind picks up around us. The sweet smell of tteokbokki and summer breeze in the air brings another smile to my face. Jongin gets down on the floor while I kneel on one knee to straddle his lap, looking into his eyes with his finger tucked under my chin as the last lyrics of the song fades away.

There’s a long moment of silence, and then the crowd erupts into cheers. Applauding so loud it overwhelms my sensitive ears. Jongin and I step forward to take one last bow, smiling at each other before making our way off stage… but a certain, persistent stare has my eyes flickering back to the crowd. The glimmer of silver hair in the front row is all I allow myself to see before hurrying to leave.

"That was," I start, gasping for breath by the time we reach the dressing room. "Fucking amazing!"

Jongin smiles, glancing over at me, "You liked it, huh?"

"Dude—I fucking lived for it!"

He laughs and it’s super cute, especially with his wide smile.

"That was so cool," I sigh, flopping down onto the couch.

Jongin raises a brow, a smile still on his plump lips. "Would you do it again?-"

"Hell no!" I squeak. "Well… Not unless it’s with you." His eyes dance under the painfully bright lights. "Stop smirking, I take it back."

"Don’t worry." He chuckles, crossing his arms as he leans back against the vanity table. "You’ll be the first one I call next time too."

We’re called back up onto the stage before I can reply, but the smile I beam his way speaks volumes. However, nerves are plaguing my mind this time around. There’s no mistaking the silver hair that I saw in the crowd.

Just as I thought, when we are standing next to the other contestants, there he is. Front and center. I close my eyes with a deep sigh. What the fuck, man? Why are you everywhere?! Can I catch a break from him please? Please?!

Tension builds in my body, but then something cracks.

You know what—

I clench my fists. Fuck him. It doesn’t matter if he’s here or not; he’s no longer a part of my life. Why should I care?

My eyes don’t stray far from the judge and Jongin, even with the constant itch of Baekhyun’s stare. Take a picture, it’ll last longer, asshole. 

The minutes seem to drag on as the judge gives his big speech, listing the criterias and rubric for calculating the winner. A whole lot of gibberish that I have no interest in listening to; I hope Jongin is paying attention. The knowing look he gives me when we briefly make eye contact confirms it. Yep, I smile sheepishly. Sorry.

That damn ticklish sensation on my skin still hasn’t moved while the couple in 3rd place steps forward to receive their reward. I swear to the heavens, Byun Baekhyun—

Snapping my neck around, I glare right at him despite my heart dropping at the sight.

He stands in the front row, sticking out like a sore thumb from the rest of the crowd in his black hoodie and dark jeans. The only thing that makes him pop is his ever-silver hair… and the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

My heart races. Are those—

"And the winner is: Jongin and Riley!"

The crowd roars in excitement, everyone standing up to applaud us as the judge hands Jongin the trophy and a helper places a ribbon around my shoulders. I can’t help but beam at Jongin, both of us smiling wide enough for our mouths to hurt later, but I don’t worry about that now. This is our moment. I throw my arms around him, laughing loudly when he sets down the trophy to spin me around in the air. 

"We did it!" I wrap my arm carefully around his neck, pumping my fist in the air.

Jongin sets me back down, keeping his arms loosely around my waist. "You," He plants a kiss on the top of my head, "did it."

I can’t erase the smile on my face or the glee in my heart even if I tried. My eyes glance back out at the crowd while he goes around congratulating the other contestants, immediately locking onto those soul-sucking, puppy brown eyes. Half a year later and his eyes never fail to make me feel nothing and everything all at once. But I won’t let that define me: I’m not Baekhyun’s woman anymore.

Spectators in the crowd around him are buzzing with energy, dancing to the outro music they are playing overhead while he continues to stand stock-still, his brown eyes focused on me. 

My mind drifts for a second, imagining what it would have been like to be standing up on this stage with him, winning the competition with him by my side. I acknowledge it, let my mind have its little reminiscing moment—and then nip it right in the bud.

I don’t want to live a life of 'What ifs?’ anymore—I want to experience those 'Why nots?’ instead.

I sense Jongin before he steps closer, his chest brushing against the back of my arm. "Are you ready to go?" He asks, his lips grazing my ear.

I continue to lock eyes with Baekhyun, laughing inwardly at the unreadable expression on his face and the lack of a sparkle in his eyes. And when that tall raven from months ago runs to pull him into a hug, my gaze doesn’t waver from his in the slightest. "Yes." I turn my back on him and rest my hand on Jongin’s bicep with a swirl of my hips, peeking at him from under my eyelashes.

He smiles down at me, understanding dawning in his eyes. We link our arms together while walking backstage and out of the stadium.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2) —– P(3)  P(4) —– P(5)  P(6) ✓ ||| ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1)  P(2)

A/N: Team Jongin or Team Baekhyun? After that dance practice scene, my heart is stuck somewhere in between 💔

Hiya! Long time no see (^-^)

I don't have much to say ahh (>.<) my brain is fried. The emotions in this chapter came from a week of sleepless nights and a marathon of Doja Cat's Planet Her <3 I still got 10 scenes to finish up before Six Phases will be completed. This isn't the end! Just the best cliffhanger I could do with a 100+ page doc (thanks to my nearsightedness. font-size 16 is a lifesaver)

I might suddenly drop the Finale out of nowhere :'D everything depends on Riley~

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story!! 🥺🥰🌸💗 Writing this baby (haha) is my favorite thing to do and to share it with all of you means the world to me <333 Alright, I'll stop being mushy. Have a great weekend, lovelies! See you as soon as the Finale is done~

Happy two years of Un Village & city lights!!

Thank you endless Baekhyunee for inspiring me. I wouldn't be here without you ❤️

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Hypothetical TV shows: “Agent Jimmy Woo”

Spin-off series centered on Marvel’s lovable FBI agent, Jimmy Woo (Randall Park). Plot breakdown:

Episode 1

This is mainly an introduction to Jimmy Woo. We learn that he’s a lonely man, living by himself, doesn’t really have that many friends, and is not close to his family. The closest friend he has is Darcy Lewis, continuing their friendship from “WandaVision”. Throughout the episode, Jimmy gets these weird flashbacks that we have no context for. The flashbacks are to establish that Jimmy has some sort of dark past that we haven’t seen. 

Most of the episode is “normal”, until Jimmy receives a strange letter to his office. When Jimmy opens the letter, he sees that it’s a picture of a dead man, with the words, “REMEMBER ME, JIM?” smeared in blood in the background. Jimmy immediately realizes who did this and flees the building. As he’s running, he bumps into Darcy, who is here because they were supposed to go out for coffee. Jimmy tries to come up with an excuse, until he sees a couple of shady people approaching him. This leads to a thrilling, John Wick-style fight scene, in which Jimmy takes down all the assassins sent after him.

The episode ends with Darcy staring at him in shock, wondering who is this man standing before her. 

Episode 2 

This episode picks up right after the end of the previous episode. Jimmy and Darcy are on the run, fighting their way through hordes of assassins sent to kill Jimmy. We get a close-quarters combat fight scene, a gunfight, and a car chase, all in the first half of the episode. Eventually, Jimmy and Darcy reach this mysterious location, where they meet a woman who seems to recognize Jimmy. The woman introduces herself as Monica Chang (played by Yunjin Kim), a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and Nick Fury’s ex-wife.

Jimmy says he needs to get out of the country since “Golden Claw” has somehow come back from the dead and is out to get him. Monica then arranges a transport to Madagascar for both Jimmy and Darcy. This is where we get the big reveal; Jimmy Woo is a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who went underground after the events of “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”. Golden Claw was Jimmy’s arch-nemesis who he thought he killed years ago. 

As Jimmy and Darcy make their way to Madagascar, Darcy asks Jimmy for the full story. Jimmy figures he has nothing left to lose and starts to recount his past, leading to the next episode.

Episode 3

Flashback episode, set before the events of “The Avengers”. Jimmy Woo is a high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who is close friends with Phil Coulson and Monica Chang. We learn that Jimmy is hunting down Plan Chu, the Golden Claw (played by Joe Taslim). Golden Claw is considered the “Kingpin of Asia” and rules over all the crime syndicates in the continent, from the Yakuza to the Triads to Madripoor. To emphasize this point, although Sharon Carter/Power Broker rules Madripoor, she answers to Golden Claw since he’s the one who helped her take control of the nation.

Due to how powerful and dangerous Golden Claw is, S.H.I.E.L.D. began targeting him, with Jimmy leading the charge. In this episode, we see the end of Jimmy’s operation; S.H.I.E.L.D. leads an assault on Golden Claw’s mansion, which eventually leads to Jimmy facing off against Golden Claw one-on-one. The two men fight, which ends with Jimmy tossing Golden Claw off a cliff. Claw is presumed dead since his body is never found.

Cut to several years later, Jimmy goes underground due to Steve Rogers exposing HYDRA’s existence in S.H.I.E.L.D.. With Nick Fury’s help, he scrubs away his past and takes on a new job as a FBI agent. The episode ends with Jimmy meeting with Scott Lang in “Ant-Man and the Wasp”. 

Post-credits scene: After being tossed off the cliff, Golden Claw is found by Sharon Carter, who was part of the S.H.I.E.L.D. assault. She decides to nurse him back to health, indicating that even before she became the Power Broker, she was a double agent working for the Golden Claw. 

Episode 4

Golden Claw-centric episode, focused on his origin story. We learn Plan Chu was actually born during the First Opium War (1839). He grew up poor and angry at the British for their attacks on China. Eventually, he ends up becoming an apprentice to a mystic/alchemist and learns how to develop elixirs that can grant him special powers. One elixir in particular prolongs his lifespan, explaining how he’s still alive in the modern day. Plan Chu’s master eventually dies from old age. Using the skills he learned, Plan Chu creates his criminal empire and earns the nickname “Golden Claw”. 

In the modern day, Golden Claw, who has fully recovered from his battle with Jimmy Woo, starts targeting all the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who were part of the operation to kill him. Sharon Carter provides him the names, leading to a sequence where multiple former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are killed by Golden Claw’s mercenaries. Although Jimmy Woo manages to get away, Golden Claw moves on to the next step of his revenge; finding out who ratted him out to S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place, leading to the assault on his mansion. 

Golden Claw learns that the one who betrayed him was Suwan (played by Ali Wong), his grandniece and a leading member of the Triads. Although that’s his family, Golden Claw puts a bounty on Suwan’s head. 

In the B-story, Jimmy and Darcy arrive in Madagascar, where they meet Derek Khanata (played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), A former Wakandan special forces operative, a S.H.I.E.L.D. ally, and a friend of Jimmy Woo.

Episode 5

In Madagascar, Derek takes Jimmy and Darcy to a hideout in order to discuss battle plans. Derek tells Jimmy that Golden Claw has already killed most of the original S.H.I.E.L.D. team that was sent after him, which enrages Jimmy. Wanting revenge, Jimmy asks if they have any leads on Golden Claw’s whereabouts. Although he’s reluctant to go after Claw, Derek suggests going after M’Demwe (played by Barkhad Abdi), a ruthless warlord who has ties to the Golden Claw. 

Most of this episode is focused on Jimmy, Darcy, and Derek hunting down M’Demwe while avoiding the authorities and Golden Claw mercenaries that are in the area. Eventually, the trio manages to capture M’Demwe, leading to a thrilling car chase. After the chase, M’Demwe says he has no idea where Golden Claw is...but that they can get Golden Claw to come to them. When Darcy asks what does that mean, M’Demwe says that Claw put a bounty on his grandniece’s head. If they get to Suwan first, that could force Golden Claw to come out of hiding. 

Jimmy realizes this is about Suwan, indicating that they had a prior relationship. Jimmy asks M’Demwe where Suwan is and M’Demwe reveals that she’s in Montenegro on vacation. He then has Derek arrange a flight to Montenegro.

In the B-story, Suwan is seen gambling at a fancy casino in Montenegro. Suwan’s bodyguard tells her about the bounty placed on her head, which she waves off. She then says something ominous, that no one can touch her on her property.

Episode 6

Jimmy, Darcy, and Derek arrive in Montenegro. Golden Claw arrives around the same time. This is mostly a character development episode, in preparation for the final showdown. The following interactions occur:

1) Golden Claw meets with Suwan and tells him that he knows she betrayed him. Suwan demands to know why Golden Claw won’t just kill her himself, which Claw can’t answer. Suwan then confirms to herself that Claw can’t bring himself to kill her since he still loves her and that the bounty was his way of pushing the guilt onto someone else. Golden Claw doesn’t say it but he sees Suwan as one of his daughters, which is why he can’t just kill her himself.

2) More Jimmy and Darcy bonding. We learn more about Darcy’s family life and that she hung out with Jimmy for the same reason he hung out with her; she doesn’t have many friends outside of work. 

3) Jimmy meets up with Suwan and reconnects with her. Jimmy says he’s here to protect her but Suwan says he’s here to use her to reach Golden Claw. We learn that in the past, Suwan was sent by Golden Claw to kill Jimmy but ended up falling in love with him. That’s also part of the reason why Suwan betrayed Golden Claw. 

4) Golden Claw meets with Darcy, who doesn’t recognize him, and the two bond over a game of Texas hold’em. This scene is meant to humanize Golden Claw, that he’s not just a power-hungry criminal mastermind. 

5) Suwan and Darcy bonding. This is mainly played for laughs, with Darcy being curious about what this incredibly dangerous Triad boss saw in Jimmy. Suwan interprets Darcy’s interest in her past romance with Jimmy as jealousy, leading to a hilarious misunderstanding.

Episode ends with Jimmy, Darcy, and Derek’s covers being blown, leading to everything going south. Golden Claw and his troops corner the main trio, forcing Suwan to have her guards confront Golden Claw’s mercenaries. With everyone pointing guns at each other, the episode ends on a massive cliffhanger. 

Episode 7

Picking up right after the previous episode, the Mexican standoff between Suwan, Jimmy, and Golden Claw turns into a massive shootout, resulting in several casualties on all sides. Golden Claw’s army is forced to retreat, giving Suwan and Jimmy time to recover. This is the episode where we reach peak John Wick since right after Golden Claw’s retreat, Suwan takes Jimmy into her office in order to prepare for the second wave. Jimmy arms himself to the teeth, leading into the next attack.

Most of this episode is the battle between Suwan’s side and Golden Claw’s side. The battle is seen from these perspectives:

1) Jimmy and Derek at the forefront, fighting against the highly trained Golden Claw mercenaries

2) Darcy going off on her own in order to contact the Montenegro authorities (there’s a subplot where Darcy learns that Golden Claw managed to move the Montenegro police away from the area) 

3) Suwan directing everyone from her office and coming up with the battle plans. 

The big fight in this episode is between Jimmy Woo and Golden Claw’s top mercenary, Harold Kenkoy (played by Michael Bisping). Harold is the series’ secondary antagonist, with his role being similar to Brock Rumlow in “CA: The Winter Soldier”. Jimmy kills Harold after a brutal, one-on-one fight.

The battle ends when Darcy comes through with her mission to contact the Montenegro authorities. Unfortunately, Golden Claw manages to flee and retreats back to Madripoor. Not wanting to go through this again, Jimmy, Darcy, Derek, and Suwan decide to follow him. 

Episode 8 - season finale

As the big finale of the series, Jimmy and friends reconnect with Monica Chang, who brings a team of other former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to assist. On the other side, Golden Claw meets with Sharon Carter and tells her that he’ll be taking over Madripoor while he regroups from his previous loss. Sharon angrily states that he can’t just take her throne, leading to a “betrayal” scene. However, just when you think Sharon has the upper hand, Golden Claw reverses the situation when Sharon’s mercenaries turn against her. Claw says that he’s the one who gave her power and that he could easily take it away. 

Sharon fights through her former mercenaries and joins up with Jimmy Woo. They form a temporary truce when Jimmy tells her that he’s only in Madripoor to stop the Golden Claw once and for all. With Sharon’s help, Jimmy’s side forms a plan to trap Golden Claw. 

Of course, the plan goes awry, leading to Golden Claw closing down the whole country in order to trap Jimmy’s team. With nowhere to go and all the criminals in Madripoor gunning for them, Jimmy goes off on his own to corner Golden Claw. In the midst of all this chaos, Darcy is captured and taken to Claw. Darcy, having bonded with Claw earlier, tries to appeal to his humanity and convince him to give up his revenge quest. Claw refuses and says that he’s justified since S.H.I.E.L.D. was the one who instigated this whole situation. 

After a series of incidents, Jimmy Woo eventually confronts Golden Claw. The two fight, mirroring their fight from years ago. Jimmy wins after managing to fatally shoot Claw in the chest. As Claw dies, the two acknowledge each other, with Claw glad to have been killed by a worthy opponent. Sharon takes back control of Madripoor and, to thank Jimmy for stopping Claw, allows everyone to leave. She also rescinds all the bounties that Golden Claw set up. With that, everyone goes home.

The rest of the episode is just wrapping up the story. Suwan goes back to Montenegro, Derek goes back to Madagascar, and Monica tells Jimmy that she’s founding a new spy agency to fill in the space left by S.H.I.E.L.D. This ends up being the Atlas Foundation, which we’ll see in a future series. Jimmy says he’ll consider joining but for now, he’s going back to his job at the FBI. Season ends with Jimmy and Darcy getting coffee. 

POST-CREDITS SCENE: Jimmy Woo is with Darcy at the coffee shop when he’s approached by a messenger. The messenger tells Jimmy that he was named the sole heir of Golden Claw’s empire. Jimmy says that can’t be true but the messenger confirms this by showing him a copy of Claw’s will. Jimmy stares at the will in shock as he realizes that he’s become the new Kingpin of Asia.  

[personasintro]

My Tiny Secret | 17; Wine & Pride

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 17; Wine & Pride

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut, mistress au, unexpected pregnancy au

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: strong language

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

buy me a coffee?♡

a/n: this is a continuation of the flashback from the previous chapter!

“Tell me something about yourself.”

You're done eating, empty plates already out of your sights as you hold a glass of red wine in your hand, the other one gently leaning against the table.

Curious is what you are. Curious, why the man in that expensive suit with bank account bigger than you could ever imagine, is so interested in you. The ordinary woman that gets to spend her free time with some rich CEO, who seems to be too good for everyone. He barely shows any signs of happiness or something that could make him look in better lightening. Is he doing it on purpose? Is he hiding himself from everyone, or is he just being emotionless man?

“Why? I'm not that interesting person to talk about.” Your frown is switched to a puzzled look that you give him, noticing him licking the corner of his mouth.

“I'm quite intrigued in you, Ms. Y/L/N.” he says slowly, your mind processing his words as you feel a weird lump in your throat.

“Is it because my father owes you money?”

Seokjin has grown used to your bluntness, even if it's been a short time since he had the pleasure to talk to you. Nobody has ever thought about talking to him this way. You give him an attitude, testing his waters with each sentence that flows out of your mouth so naturally. But he has seen it. Him talking about your father brought an emotion on your cold face. Even though you showed the hatred that you feel towards one of your parents, you still care.

So you turn cold, letting him know that you don't care about your pathetic father that turned out to be a scumbag. Not only a thief that had the audacity to steal money, steal from the one and only Kim Seokjin, but a scumbag that left his wife and daughter.

He sees right through you, and in a way he can relate to you. Although, he's pretty much aware how of a big asshole he truly is. You're both different, yet he can see himself in you. Not entirely though, you're much more pure even with your sharp tongue and look of distaste.

He chuckles lowly, shaking his head. “No,” he answers. “I've never met someone like you.”

Even if it's unattractive, you snort in front of him, obviously not believing him. “Are you saying this to every woman you lay your eyes on?” you bite back, noticing a sly smirk appear on his juicy lips.

“Not every woman's father steals my money,” he points out, noticing the way your eyes flutter, glancing away from him in shame. “So, be a good girl and tell me about yourself.”

You gulp, heart shaking at him calling you a 'good girl'. No one ever talked to you this way. Unsure whether he's just being cunning or if it's his very interesting dark persona, you take a sip from the red wine instead.

He watches you with full attention, eyes not fluttering even for a split second as he patiently waits for you to talk. He's very persistent without using an actual words.

“I'm just a woman, working in the office and in the coffee shop during weekends. Woman that's too low for your standards.” you wave your hand off, taking another sip as a bitter taste of it makes the connect with your tongue.

You're usually not a wine drinker, especially if it's bitter and sour, but this fine expensive wine tastes different than the ones that Hoseok buys.

“Let me decide if you're up to my standards, would you.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you once more while you raise a brow at him.

“I'm not going to be your plaything, Mr. Kim,” you tell him bluntly, not paying too much attention to a small smirk appearing on his lips at you putting some distance between you two. “I believe you've got much more suitable women for that.”

There's no way a man like him is alone during nights. He surely has hookers to make him some company during nights or whenever he pleases. If he's not taken, you don't believe he doesn't have the urge to have sex. Every man does.

He's young, in the best age to start or have something without commitment.

“Nobody said anything about you being my plaything. And I believe they're plenty of other women who'd much more appreciate this dinner but I don't blame you. But I think you shouldn't think about yourself that lowly.” he leans comfortably against the chair.

“Oh, how charming,” you scoff, not believing him a single word. “I don't think about myself lowly. You don't know me, I could have a husband at home.”

He chuckles, the same dark and mocking way only he knows. “You don't.”

The confidence behind his statement sparks a realization inside of you. He knows much more than you knew, starting from the way he knows where you work and know that you've no husband at home. Also, you've got your last name. Maybe you shouldn't think into it too much, maybe he's just smart.

Or, he was testing you.

A triumph grin stretches on his lips, noticing the way you hesitate before you stare in a silent shock at him.

“Maybe I've a fiance.” you murmur, growing annoyed that he figured you out that quickly.

“Hmm, maybe. I'm sure he wouldn't be very fond of you having a dinner with another man.” he muses.

“Don't flatter yourself, this is strictly professional.” you remind him, hinting of the whole purpose of this dinner.

Deep inside, even though this man irks you in many ways, you're enjoying it. One half of you is torn between you thinking this whole dinner was a bad idea, but the other one is enjoying this. You're intrigued with him. He's different than anyone you've ever met.

“I've never said it wasn't,” he responds, irking another wave of annoyance. “Although, I'm not sure if any man could truly handle that mouth of yours.”

One second you glare at him, the other one you're a coughing mess after you've choked on your spit. You straighten up yourself, ignoring his amused eyes dancing on you before you lick your lips.

“I can assure you, I've had enough partners that could handle me.”

You've this urge to prove him that you're not some lonely woman with no actual experiences. It's hard to guess what he thinks all the time, and you're not sure why you just told him what you did. Maybe it's the way he looks at you. As if you were just some innocent woman that is desperate for any attention.

Enough partners. Maybe your one ex-boyfriend that didn't last long, until he had decided to dump you. But he doesn't know that.

And again, he chuckles mockingly at you, digging a knife into your pride.

“What? You don't believe me?” you press, frowning at the man that seems to have the time of his life at your previous comment.

“It's not important what I believe, Ms. Y/L/N. I just don't see you as the type whose life involves around men. I don't think you let that many men get close to you.”

Whatever the fuck he means by that, your puzzled look is an answer for itself.

He doesn't know you and the basic information that his people managed to found out about you, are just that. Basic and plain. He has no idea who are you, yet he sees easily through you. Just as he told you, he doesn't think you're desperate for attention or men in general. Surely, you're both from another worlds with different priorities. Even the way you push him away from you, you're still sitting on the one side of the table, with him at the other one. You want to be here, not just because he's your drive home. You could easily catch a cab or something.

“If I want any man close to me, I let him.” you tell him eagerly, watching how his eyes trail down onto the table, eyeing the shining glasses before he looks back at you.

“Mhm, I'm sure you do.”

And there he is, back to his mocking tone that even stupid person could recognized as his way of meaning the opposite.

And you're going to prove him wrong.

Just as the young waiter comes to your table, asking if you're interested in desert, you politely decline. He looks younger than you, politely asking Seokjin the same thing with timid eyes. You know guys like him, freshly out of college wanting to commitments. He thought he's being subtle when he eyed you whenever he passed the table. His hungry eyes set on you whenever Seokjin's attention was elsewhere.

It's a great opportunity to show him that he's wrong.

But it's a fucking bad idea, considering it's your second glass of wine. You don't usually get this tipsy so quickly and easily. It makes you wonder what kind of wine that is.

However, you're pretty aware of what you're doing when you pull out a pen out of your purse, writing something onto the white napkin. You glance at Seokjin, just as you're putting the pen back into your purse, noticing his eyes settled on you in a slight frown. He can see the outlines of numbers, his gaze darkening as he watches you shooting a confident smile to the young waiter.

The guy's eyebrows shoot up, covered by his fringe as he eyes the napkin that you delicately hand him. His cheeks gets red right away, along with his neck as you open your mouth.

“Call me.” you tell him, licking your lips as he glances at Seokjin, but he's staring at you with hardened gaze at the other side of the table.

Still, he takes Seokjin's lack of reaction as a green light, nodding as an obedient child that's ready to yell in happiness. His mouth ticks as he tries to hide a huge grin, before he coughs.

“Is there anything you'd like to order?”

Even his voice flatters, trying to hide the enthusiasm that he just managed to score a woman, without actually talking to her.

Just as you're handing him your empty glass, you're ready to order another one when Seokjin cuts you off way before you can utter a single word.

“Yes, she'll have a glass of water,”

You frown at him, but he's staring at the younger male. “And I'd like to have that.” he adds, pointing towards the napkin that's clutched in his hand.

The poor guy looks like someone just slapped him into his face, hastily hanging the white napkin with your number on it. You watch Seokjin scrunching it, raising a brow at him before he quickly scurries away, not even glancing your way.

“You proved your point.” he tells you, tossing that crumbled napkin on the table.

“I wasn't trying to prove anything,” you grumble, knowing how fucking wrong you are. “And I'm not drunk.”

It's true. You're not. You're completely fine, although that wine definitely gave you more courage but you feel like you've been more riled up by Seokjin himself.

“Oh, I know you aren't,” he says. “But you'd slowly get there, if you continued.”

Rolling your eyes at him, you're not surprised when a different waiter comes to bring you your glass of water. You can't help it but glance at Seokjin when that happens, but his eyes are focused on you, showing no emotion or reaction. He's aware that he probably scared that poor guy.

The dinner is over, right after you drink all of that water with Seokjin looking at you. You barely put your glass down, before his voice resounds.

“Come on, I'll drive you home.”

And for the first time that night, you actually feel disappointment pang in your chest, for unspeakable and unreasonable reasons.  

taglist: <is in the comments> comment on the most recent chapter to be added to the taglist

[firstofficer-williamyiker]

Ok, ok, ok, ok. I am way too focus on this but I really really wanted to list out every Star Trek ship (from TNG, DS9, and VOY cause those are the ones I have seen most of) I could think of and give my opinion on it. Why? Because I don’t wanna do my math test. Lets go down the spiral of hyperfixation and little impulse control. (FYI, this became a long ass post, so read through if you want or don’t lol)

Let’s start from the beginning. 

The Next Generation: (aka gays that all share one smart brain cell) 

Picard x Crusher: Honestly, I like their chemistry, and if it became canon I would be alright with that. No real strong feelings on this ship.

Picard x Q: The epitome of enemies to lovers slow burn in 300k words. The sexual tension is too much to handle, I absolutely adore these two. They probably fucked once and Picard regrets it immeasurably. 

Picard x Riker: Nah, not for me. But you do you dudes.

Riker x Troi: Again, I quite like these two together. Two Bi Icons getting together, I’m here for it. 

Riker x Worf: Eh, Worf isn’t really a fav of mine so that makes me bias against this ship. It cool tho.

Riker x Crusher: *war flashbacks to when Crusher had sex with a Trill worm that was inside currently inside Riker’s body* Haha, fuck no. 

Troi x Crusher: Two queens getting together and tearing down the patriarchy, I stan.

Troi x Tasha: I tend to block out season one of TNG from my mind, but honestly, I like the vibe.

Data x Geordi: My OTP for this show. It should have happened. Rick Berman is a coward. They are just so sweet and they understand each other like no one else. A few of their scenes in this show made me cry. I ship

Data x Tasha: Nah, I don’t vibe. Would have been better as mlm and wlw solidarity. 

Worf x Troi: They had a few cute scenes together in the later seasons, I don’t hate neither super enjoy.

Deep Space Nine: (aka no straights in space)

Sisko x Kasidy: I liked them better in the early seasons. I think the writers low-key forgot about Kasidy until she was convenient plot device. 

Kira x Odo: I preferred it in the first few seasons where Odo had a little crush on Kira and it was kinda adorable. But after their relationship had become canon in the later seasons I was kinda disappointed.

Kira x Jadzia: I am here for this ship, two powerful women ready to take on the world together but also have their own insecurities that come up as the situation arises. Immaculate, I want it.

Dukat x Kira: Fuck no, they are enemies. Idk why the DS9 writers thought it would be a great idea to pair THESE two together. But thank god for Nana Visitor for being such a queen. 

Odo x Quark: Again, another amazing enemies to lovers ship. I love seeing those two on screen together, their chemistry is just *chef’s kiss*.

Miles x Keiko: Miles is like, the token heterosexual on this show. He loves his wife, his kids, and his job.

Bashir x Garak: Fuck yeah, OTP of this show for me gang. It was so heavily implied and it would have been so cool to see, especially in the 90s. But oh well, at least we got the actors writing and performing fanfiction for us.

Bashir x Jadzia: Yeah no, I wouldn’t ship them romantically. And the writers definetly did not favors to Bashir when they make his crush on her a bit creepy in the early seasons. But would be a BROTP for me.

Bashir x Ezri: Hnng, I don’t like. It just feels like Bashir is trying to date the Jadzia he never had and I don’t like it.

Jadzia x Worf: It’s fine, I guess. I don’t really see the chemistry.

Ezri x Jake: I mean, it’s better than Ezri x Bashir, but like, Dax has known Jake over 3 lifetimes and watched him grow up soooo, nah.

Jake x Ziyal: I am a fan. I think these two would have been really cool together especially since they are both artistic people with Jake’s writing and Ziyal’s painting. They could have done some really cool stuff together. Plus, it would make some interesting family reunion moments between Dukat and Sisko hehe.

Jake x Nog: Again, I am a fan. Tol and smol dynamics are what I am here for.

Garak x Ziyal: No

Voyager: (aka gays lost in space)

Janeway x Chakotay: The of the few straight ships I would die for. I am quite disappointed that nothing ever formed between the two because it would have been really cute and oh my god the tension the writers made between the two. I feel baited for this ship, AND IT’S A STRAIGHT SHIP! I’m sorry I have feelings about this. 

Janeway x Seven: Not a top ship of mine but I definitely see the chemistry here and I support it. 

Janeway x Paris: I only bring this up because in like season 1 or 2 they have axolotl children together because the writers were probably high as a kite when they came up with this idea for an episode. But a hard pass. 

Janeway x Coffee: I’m pretty sure this is already canon and I stan. 

Chakotay x Seven: I haven’t completely finished Voyager yet but I heard that this is the endgame for the two and WTF. I don’t see or understand it and it makes me upset, like really upset.

Chakotay x B’elanna: I’m just glad this wasn’t canon. I more just bring it up because I remembered B’elanna had a crush on Chakotay in the early seasons before Tom. And like, I get it because if Chakotay was my commanding officer I’d probably crush too girl. 

B’elanna x Paris: It’s a canon ship that I honestly kinda like. There are some moments where I’m like “oh no” and other where I’m like “YES”. But overall, I enjoy it. I just feel like there is something missing.

Paris x Kim: Fuck yea, I love these two together. Two bros turned lovers I am fucking here for it my dudes. But again, I feel like there is something else missing here.

B’elanna x Paris x Kim: Oh hell yea, I found what was missing. This is my personal OTP of Voyager. In my head I think Kim and B’elanna are just really close friends who do engineering things together. While Paris is in the corner, loving them both, but also setting the Delta Flyer on fire for the third time this week. I haven’t really looked into the Voyager tag (because spoilers) so idk if this is a popular ship. But I think they all have some really fun chemistry and I enjoy it. 

Paris x Delta Flyer: This just came to my head 20 seconds ago as I wrote the last one but I’m pretty sure this one is already canon. 

Kim x Seven: Nah

Seven x The Doctor: Hmm, do I dislike it as much as I do Seven x Chakotay? No, I do not. But do I like it that much? No, no I do not. I ship them as friends.

Tuvok x Nelix: No, not really. Opposites attract is not really my cup of tea all the time.

Nelix x Kes: Oh damn, I almost forgot about Kes. I know this is canon but where did this come from. The writers NEVER EXPLAIN IT! And then they never explain why the later broke up. I just... I just don’t understand. 

I doubt I have covered every ship, these were just the ones that came to me while writing this. Also, these are just my personal opinions please don’t come for my knees.

[gizkasparadise]

kdrama rec/review: mystic pop up bar

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: mystic pop up bar Episodes: NOT ENOUGH 12 Genres: urban fantasy, urban horror lite, found family!!!, friendship, mystery, comedy, supernatural, warm fuzzies despite an alarming amount of death Spoilers in the Rec: minor ones/for the set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: hotel del luna (although it has a very different feel), early bleach (manga), found families, being human (uk & us versions), those moments in shows where you’re like OH MAN HOW ARE THEY GETTING OUT OF THIS and then they do. because friendship.

Rank: 10/10

I went into this with low expectations. it sounded like it was trying to bank on hotel del luna, but i was still down to watch a ghost version of leverage or whatever this turned out to be. figured it’d be decent to watch but not AMAZING. 

the first ep gave me that impression. by the second ep i was hooked. and by the third ep this was one of my favorite shows of all time

PREMISE

during the joseon era, a shaman named weol ju went and fucked up a perfectly good sacred tree. as punishment, she now has to resolve the grudges of 100,000 humans or go to hell. as a shaman, she can accomplish this by plying them with alcohol and entering their dreams (well the alcohol part might just be her artistic signature).

time to start a bar!

in the current day, 500 years later, weol ju owns and runs mystic pop up bar, where she learns about her customers’ grudges. and apparently has sound business strategy, as she serves like 4 people a day but still has enough overhead to craft these 4 people bespoke meals that speak to their inner tragedy. and also sandwiches.

helping her is chief gwi, a ghost cop who’s been reassigned to her bar to help weol ju accomplish her quota. because time’s running out--weol ju now has less than a month to solve her 10 remaining grudges.

enter bambi kang bae. a regular human who works a regular customer service job, kang bae has one terrible power: anytime someone touches him (or he touches them), they want to confess their deepest, darkest secrets. kang bae is understandably not comfortable around people (but desperately wants to be around people. my poor fucking heart) and incredibly lonely. 

when his and weol ju’s paths cross, she makes him an offer: he helps her out with her remaining grudges, and in return she’ll remove his powers.

deal!

MAIN CHARACTERS

weol ju

a 500+ year old shaman who is paying for her sins on earth because she went out on a limb :| . begins the series angry and ends the series angry, because it turns out angry people can still be kind, which is great to see with a female protagonist. how close she’s cutting it to the deadline on her quota speaks strongly to sixth-year senior vibes. wears modern versions of hanboks which are all v. cool and on moments of aching realization wednesdays she wears pink.

will steal your shit and look you straight in the eyes as she walks backwards into hell.

gwi/gui

a former ghost cop who’s been reassigned to help weol ju run the mystic pop up bar. he’s a lot more chill than weol ju and has the vibe of someone who forgets keys at home. while at the bar, he does a lot of the prep work, and is sometimes asked by yeom to help catch nearby, evil spirits. 

he’s actually like a hardcore warrior, but you forget it because he wears goggles to cut onions and dresses like someone who would be the spokesperson for microwaveable fish sticks. team dad. fanboy of romantic serial e-novels.

han kang bae

a baby.

in a truly amazing narrative move, kang bae works customer service at a market by day and solves grudges at a bar by night. is a sweet, simple boy who just wants to help people and is SO EXCITED to have new friends in weol ju and gwi. you want to give him a hug BUT YOU CAN’T.  human carebear

even the yellow collar of his customer service uniform makes a heart:

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES

kang yeo ri

lmao you know it’s going to be good when a character is introduced dropping a dude straight to the ground. yeo rin is a bodyguard mild spoiler turned security guard for the market where kang bae works. she could beat the shit out of you and you’d thank her. has no luck in dating. rocks a suit. sobs at movies about gout

yeom, the grim reaper

your friendly neighborhood grim reaper. yeom very much screams middle management, and works in the same “district” that weol ju and gwi have their pop up bar in. sometimes they’re at odds with one another (because weol ju has about the same amount of respect for the rules that an untrained puppy has for new carpet), but they’re still friends. gwi sometimes works with him to catch evil spirits, buddy-cop style. loves noodles. 

yeomra-daewang 

god of the underworld. in charge of handing out punishments and determining the fates of those sent to the afterlife. forgets who she’s texting. appreciates true love but is also aggressively annoyed by it. take your fucking scroll and go

samsin

probably the character with the most name recognition. samsin (or samsin granny) is the goddess of mothers and children, and in the show the focus is more on children. loves karaoke, basic bitch coffee, and claw games. gives out too many sexy tiger dreams.

kim wong hyun

he gave them the heebie jeebies. he had nothing else to give

ringtones.

they’re their own character. check out those motifs. 

Drawbacks

if i had any, it’s that the first episode undersells the rest of the series. and even the first ep isn’t bad

12 episodes is not enough :( 

Reasons to Watch.

i love the little details: that the supernatural characters have ring tones that correspond to their role (ex: the god of the underworld’s are screams; i believe the grim reaper’s are a shaman’s bells?, gwi has SPOILERS), or that the food special of the day connects or reflects with the person they’re helping. themes/significant moments are represented by the colors characters are wearing. im a nerd for this stuff

there are some dramatic reveals about who characters are and how they relate to one another, but like. dynamics barely (or don’t at all) change, and that’s due to how strong/familial they are already? and the show’s built up to it and it all feels really earned A+

i HATE monster of the week formats, but the ones in this show are integrated with the main characters’ backstories and also propel the major arcs forward. and it’s wholesome when the grudges are solved

i like that you think you saw a full scene in the flashbacks, but then a few eps later the flashback gets extended. idk it’s a cool narrative device

the romance is wonderful all-around

the pacing was great. i wish one of the Reveals was introduced earlier just so we could have more moments with it, but everything was cohesive/wrapped up nicely

all the characters have their own unique relationships to one another. kang bae + weol ju have their own dynamic, weol ju +gwi, gwi + kang bae, and so on. it was nice to see that none of the main trio were satellite characters 

Final Thoughts.

they’re a team, god damn it ;;;;;;