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wannab-urs · 8 months

Text

Red Right Hand

Summary: You and Max have dinner and then you get freaky. It’s almost too much for poor little Maxxie to handle.

Pairing: Sub!Max Phillips x Vampire!Dom!f!reader

Warnings/content: Pure porn, pwp, Blood drinking (they’re both vampires), minor character death (your victim lol), murder… obviously. sub!Max, Dom!reader, unprotected PiV (they’re vampires, you are not), uhhh blasphemy probably, face riding, cum eating, Max’s vamp face, oral m! and f!receiving, overstimulation m!receiving, multiple male orgasms, refractory period nonexistent due to vampire fuckery, ass play m!receiving, praise kink, use of pet names/titles (Mistress for reader/ baby boy, pet, Maxxie, and one surprise for Max), aftercare, no use of y/n. Lemme know if I missed anything! WC: ~2k

A/N: I read this post about male overstimulation and fucking loved it. So then I decided I Bite Back needed a sequel (but this can be a standalone). Reader is a vampire just like Max. More notes on their dynamic at the end. Thanks to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin, @atinylittlepain, @beskarandblasters and @theywhowriteandknowthings for betaing for me <3 Also for another pathetic sub!Max and a big inspiration of mine, check out @butchmandalorian’s A Little Lipstick Never Hurts (now featuring Dieter).

Smut below the cut

Crimson coats your lips, your chin, runs down your neck and in between your breasts. You fall back onto the bed, your victim’s blood rushing through your veins and lighting up nerve endings as it goes. You’re half drunk on the pretty thing… she was so sweet.

You reach up with one arm, slide your fingers into your lover’s hair and tug gently. Max drags his mouth away from your victim’s jugular with a questioning whine. “She’s empty, pet. C’mere,” you slur.

“I wasn’t finished,” he grumbles.

“Max. Now.”

Max reluctantly lets go of the girl, and she crumples to the floor in a heap. He crawls onto the foot of the bed and kneels between your legs. As his face smooths out and his fangs recede, you notice a gorgeous flush in his cheeks and down his bare chest. He’s not nearly as messy an eater as you, but his plush pink lips are tinged red with your dinner. He looks down at you with hunger in his dark eyes, a different kind of appetite taking over now that you’ve both had your fill. “Kiss me, Maxxie.”

Max settles over you on hands and knees, dropping his mouth to your sternum and dragging an open mouthed kiss all the way up to your neck. You let out a near delirious moan and wrap the short strands of his hair around your fingers. He slips his tongue along your jawline, licking up the mess you made, before finally melding his mouth with yours.

You hook a leg behind Max’s knee, using the leverage and your grip on his hair to flip him underneath you and he yelps. You settle on his thighs and wrap your fingers loosely around his cock. “Want me to ride you, pet?” He nods enthusiastically. “Hands by your sides.”

You spit in your palm and slick up his cock, dragging your palm up and down him slowly and barely giving him any pressure at all. Just as it looks like he’s going to beg, you slide forward, dragging your pussy lips along the length of him and trapping him against his stomach. You keep up the tease until he breaks.

“Fucking please, Mistress,” he bucks his hips and whines. “Let me feel you.”

“Only because you beg so pretty for me, Maxxie.” You lift up on your knees and notch him at your entrance. You groan low and long and as you sink down on his impressive length. You let your head fall back between your shoulder blades and dig your hands into the meat of his thighs. He’s so deep inside you at this angle, hitting spots that white out your vision. You bounce on his cock, grinding your clit against the neat curls at the base on every downstroke.

Max’s hands slide up your thighs and settle on your waist. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, you don’t reprimand him. Not even when he starts meeting every bounce with his own sharp thrust. “Max, fuck!” You feel your core tightening, you’re so close. You bring a hand to your clit, rubbing circles in time with Max’s thrusts.

That ever tightening coil in your core snaps with mind blowing ferocity. Your whole body tightens up and you scream Max’s name as he fucks you through it. You slump forward, burying your face in the crook of his neck. You feel a little more wet between your thighs than you would expect.

“Maxxie baby?” You let it drip with false sweetness. There’s a pause, long enough you don’t even need to ask what happened. You do anyway. You sit up, grabbing his jaw and forcing his gorgeous brown eyes to meet yours. “Did you come?” He has the decency to look ashamed.

“Yes, Mistress,” he whispers hoarsely, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You will be,” you growl into his ear. You give his face a quick pat and sit up, letting his softening cock slip out of you. Your legs are still a little shaky as you crawl up his torso until you’re hovering over his face. “Clean up your mess, Maxi Pad,” you command, voice coated in condescension

His mouth falls open, tongue out, and you drop your hips, letting your clit settle against his curved nose. His tongue is heavenly, but the noises he makes into your dripping cunt are sinful. His tongue dips inside you over and over again, lapping up your combined release like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. “G-Good boy, Maxxie, fuck,” you stutter as he groans into your pussy.

The vibrations of his deep voice against you, his nose grinding into your hypersensitive clit, and his tongue lapping at you have you on the edge of coming again. Max can feel your walls tightening around his tongue and he burrows his face impossibly deeper into your cunt in response. He wraps his hands around your thighs, holding you in place as he devours you. You feel like you’re being consumed by holy fire, burned up from the inside out. You come with an incoherent cry, grinding down on Max’s face so hard it has to hurt a little. Good thing vampires don’t need to breathe.

You finally slump to his side, giving your legs a rest. You consider stopping, the both of you sated and Max properly punished for his mishap. But then a little whimper slips from your pet’s lips and you notice his cock is hard and leaking against his stomach again. “Maxxie? Did you touch yourself?” He couldn’t have, his hands were on your thighs.

“No, Mistress,” his voice is breathy and his hands twitch by his sides. He clearly wants more. You push yourself off the mattress and settle between his legs. You form a plan, a way to have him whimpering and begging for you in a way he never has before. You take him in your hand and kiss the tip of his cock.

“Now, Maxxie, you can come whenever you’re ready, okay? Don’t have to ask.” He looks a little confused but also grateful.

“Thank you, Mistress.”

You suck him down in one go, relaxing your throat. Max groans, low and gravelly, fisting the sheets in his big hands. You allow him to thrust into your mouth once, before grabbing his hips and forcing him down into the mattress. You bob your head up and down at a steady rhythm, swirling your tongue around his tip on every upstroke.

When his legs begin to shake, you gently hold his balls, rolling and tugging them lightly. You can tell he’s close. His chest is heaving despite the fact he doesn’t need air (habit, you guess), and his head is tipped back into the pillows, exposing the long thick column of his throat. You slip one finger behind his sack, pressing into the sensitive spot you know will push him over the edge. He shouts your name so loud it’s nearly a scream and comes down your throat, hips still attempting to thrust deeper into your mouth. When his cock softens, you hollow your cheeks and pull off him with a pop, drawing out another pathetic whimper.

“Do you feel good Maxxie boy?”

“Yes, Mistress. Thank you.” He’s being so good you almost feel bad about your plan. Almost.

“Get hard again.”

“What?” He looks horrified.

“You heard me, Max,” you say sternly, sitting up on your knees so you tower over him. “Don’t make me ask again.”

“But it’ll hurt!” he whines. “Let me make you feel good again, Mistress. Please.” God, he’s pitiful… you can make him worse though.

“You know what would make me feel good, pet? If you did what you were told instead of being a brat.” He pouts and you slap his inner thigh, hard enough to sting.

He flinches and whines, but you see his spent cock twitch. He can play like he doesn’t like it, but you both know he does. His brow furrows and he closes his eyes in concentration. You watch his cock fill, untouched, as he focuses on sending blood to it.

“Good boy, Maxxie.” You bend over and kiss his still pouty lips. You replace your lips with two of your fingers. “Suck.” He eagerly pulls your fingers into his mouth, sucking them down to the knuckle and laving your digits with his tongue.

You pull your fingers from his mouth, patting his pretty cheeks with them. “Good boy.” You get back between his legs and wrap your dry hand around his cock, using your left over and mostly dried saliva as lube. You place your wet fingers against his hole and feel him jolt away from you before he settles and pushes his ass toward you instead. All at once, you push your fingers into him and drag your hand up his length, twisting your wrist at the top. He howls and you watch his face morph, smooth olive skin turning red and wrinkled. His mouth opens wide and you watch his fangs descend, little growls leaving his throat. You think both his faces are beautiful, but he knows better than to change when you’re in charge.

You let your fangs descend and snarl at him, pressing down on his prostate at the same time. His growl tapers into a whine as his face returns to its human form. You retract your fangs and take his tip in your mouth, pumping your fingers in and out of him. He grabs the sheets and pulls so hard you hear the threads ripping. His beautiful broad chest is again heaving with the effort of dragging in unnecessary breaths.

“Mistress pleeeeease. Stop. Please. Fuck. Please, stop. I can’t take it,” his voice is high and whiny, rambling and begging and pleading with you. But he doesn’t say the safeword (crucifix) so you don’t intend to stop. Max bucks his hips into you, forcing him further down your throat. He quickly pulls back, trying to escape your mouth, only to push himself farther down on your fingers. You don’t think he knows if he’s trying to get away from the sensations or if he’s chasing them, but he obviously doesn’t want you to stop.

His eyes roll back into his head and he lets out a strangled moan. “Fuck!! Mistress please, can I come, please please.” He’s writing and tugging on the sheets so much they’ve come off the bed. You sit back on your heels, relieving him from the overstimulation of his cock, but press your fingers against his sensitive spot again. You see tears in the corners of those pretty, lust blown eyes, and know you achieved your goal.

“Come for me, baby boy” You don’t even have to touch him again. He explodes all over his cute little belly, scrunching his eyes closed and moaning low and long. You work his prostate through it, then remove your fingers from him. You let him be for a moment, not moving away, but not touching him either.

“You did so good for me, baby boy,” you praise him. “Can I clean you up now?” He nods slowly, still riding the high from his intense orgasm. You lick his cum off his stomach, drying the rest with a blanket, and lay on the bed on your side facing him.

“Come here, Maxxie,” you whisper gently. He sort of flops over to face you and you pull him fully against you and cradle his head against you. “Good boy, Maxxie. You looked so pretty whining and begging for me. Do you feel good?” He nods sleepily into your chest. “Good,” you whisper. You press kisses to the top of his head and run your fingers through his hair as he falls asleep. Your mattress is exposed where he ripped the sheets off and there’s a dead body on the floor, but you really could not care less right now.

You’ll worry about cleanup tomorrow.

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Endnotes: my headcanon for why she doesn’t let him “vamp out,” as I call it, is that they are in reality very equally matched strength/power wise, but this dynamic is obviously dependent on an imbalance of power, so she wants him to appear human when she doms him. I also think he turned her when he was doing a corporate takeover and she went from human secretary he harassed to vamp secretary he fucked. Then she got tired of his attitude and decided to put him in his place.

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Thanks for reading <3

#Max Phillips #Max Phillips fics #Max Phillips fanfiction #Max Phillips x reader #Max Phillips x you #Bloodsucking Bastards #bloodsucking bastards fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedrostories

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year

Text

Teach Me How To Love

Pairing: Moonknight (Steven) x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: LOTS OKAY; This is smut minor dom/sub undertones, oral (m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (be safe around trains-shitty reference sorry lol), riding, creampie, kinda praise kink tingz, lemme know if I missed anything

Genre: fluff + smut

Summary: You knew dating the shy guy from the museum giftshop would mean taking the lead on things sometimes but boy is it sweet when he asks you to show him the ropes in bed

***

When you walk into the museum gift shop you scan the various shelves and racks. It doesn't take you long to pick out a few things, an archeology dig set, a stuffed Anubis toy, and a set of fact cards. You walk up to the counter where you realize you can't see a cashier.

"Uh- hello?" You call out looking around the gift shop for any indication that there's someone working here. A curly haired man suddenly pops up from behind the counter, so quick he loses his balance a little and has to grab the counter to avoid falling. "Oh." You gasp shocked by his appearance. You didn't even realize he was back there.

"Hi. Sorry I uh- didn't know anyone was here. Can I help you with something?" He asks softly.

"Just, checking out." You say setting your items on the counter. Steven glances up at you and nearly drops the scanner. He drops his eyes quickly, his shyness made worse by how attractive he thinks you are.

If you think she's so pretty then tell her so. Steven hears Marc's voice ringing in his head and he glares at the counter where Marc's reflection stares at him with bored exasperation.

"Did you find everything okay?" Steven asks as he rings your items.

"I think so- my nephew's newest obsession is Egyptian Mythology so I thought I'd pick him up some things while I was around. I figured these things would interest one very intelligent four and a half year old." You say.

"I'm sure he'll love it. You've included toys and something that actually provides knowledge. Those notecards are particularly very cool because they have some lesser known facts so it'll be really nice if he's interested in learning."

"Oh are you also a big fan of Egyptian Mythology?" You ask with a smile and his cheeks warm as he realizes he was rambling. He is, but you think it's very cute how excited he is.

"Um- kind of yes, actually. Your total is 32.56." He tells you.

"Maybe I'll have to bring my Nephew around! I'm sure he'd love to talk to another enthusiast." You smile as you swipe your card.

"If you decide to bring him, I'll happily talk with him." Steven says handing you your now bagged items.

"Great! I'll see you then!" You smile taking your stuff from him and heading out of the small giftshop.

I don't understand why you didn't tell her you thought she was pretty Steven. You're such a coward. Marc scoffs.

"She's a customer that's weird and borderline inappropriate." Steven whispers aggressively at the reflection. You glance over your shoulder and happen to catch what you assume is him talking to himself.

It's a couple weeks later that you bring your nephew back to the museum. You have him for the day so your sister and brother in law can have some alone time so you figured you'd bring him here. He's already memorized most of the notecards you gave him it seems because while walking through the museum he casually spouts facts at you about the various exhibits. Once you've walked through the whole museum, your nephew is quick to drag you into the gift shop.

"Don't go overboard sweetie, two or three things tops." You tell him as he scans the shelves.

"Okay!" He says excitedly. Your nephew comes back to you with another archeology dig and a book that he brings up to the counter he can barely reach.

"Oh- you're back!" Steven blinks at you with a smile he almost tries to hide.

"I am. Hello again." You smile.

"Hi."

"Lewis this is the nice man I told you about who likes Egyptian Mythology like you do." You tell your nephew. "I'm sorry, I just realized- I never got your name." You frown at him.

"Oh-- St- Steven. My name's Steven Grant." He stutters out.

"Steven." You say softly and he almost wants to collapse at the way his name sounds from your lips. "Well I'm y/n, and this is my curious nephew Lewis." You tell him.

"Hey Lewis! I hear you're really into mythology." Steven smiles at him.

"Yeah! Everything is so cool." Lewis says.

"Do you have a favorite mythological figure? Or myth?" Steven asks.

"I like Anubis because aunty got me a toy that looks like him, but I'm still learning about some of the others. Do you have a favorite?"

"Well I've heard Khonshu's kind of an annoying old bird but his powers are totally cool." Steven says.

"Is he in this book?" Lewis asks pointing at the book of myths he picked up.

"I actually think he is. You wanna know what he looks like?"

"You know what he looks like?!"

"Sure I do." Steven grabs a scrap of paper and one of the museum pens to start a sketch. It only takes him a couple of minutes to draw a strange skeleton bird creature.

"Woaaahh! He looks so cool!!" Lewis gasps.

"He's super tall so- it's actually kinda spooky." Steven says like he's sharing a secret. He hands the drawing to Lewis who excitedly looks over it.

"STEVEN!! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!" You gasp when a woman's voice booms through the lobby of the museum.

"Oh dear, that's my boss. It's like she can sense enjoyment and seeks to crush it." Steven jokes with you handing Lewis his things in a bag while you wrap up your transaction.

"I hope everything is alright." You tell him.

"Ah I'm sure it'll be fine. She tends to be dramatic." Steven says passing you your receipt.

"Well, it was nice to see you again Steven." You say.

"You too! Hope to see you soon."

"Ah now that Lewis has seen the collection here he'd have me bring him everyday if he could." You joke.

"Well Seeing a face like yours everyday would certainly make work much better." He says casually and you swear he sounds like a different person for a moment. His demeanor is totally different and it almost sounds like his accent changed.

"Aren't you sweet." You muse.

"Sorry, that was bold." Steven mutters and his mannerisms are back to normal.

"It was- cute. Very nice of you to say." You smile. "I have to get going now and you should probably go find your boss, but I'll be bringing Lewis back so, see you soon." You say grabbing Lewis's hand and taking him out of the museum.

"He was nice." Lewis hums.

"Wasn't he? Don't worry when you finish that book I can bring you back for more things." You tell him, ruffling his hair as you walk down the street.

You do bring him back, a couple of weeks later and he's quick to pick out a new book and another archeology dig toy like the one you got him. Apparently there's a whole collection of toys you can get inside and he's determined to get them all.

"Hello again mister Steven!" Lewis says placing his items on the counter.

"Oh hi, you're back." Steven glances at Lewis and then smiles at you.

"We sure are. Lewis is trying to collect all the toys in these things." You say.

"Awesome. Those things are very cool I bet." Steven says scanning the items.

"They are!" Lewis says.

"Well good luck on your expeditions." Steven smiles at Lewis as you swipe your card.

"Thanks!" Lewis says taking the bag from Steven when he hands it to him.

"Hey Steven, this may be a bit forward but would you be interested in hanging out some time?" You ask him. Ideally you'd wait for him to make a move but you suspect it would take him months to work up the courage and you don't want to keep bugging him at work and leave it up to chance.

"You wanna hang out with me?" He blinks at you.

"Yeah! Only if you're interested. You can say no of course, I just figured maybe it'd be nice to talk outside of me coming to your job." You say.

"I'd love to! When? Should I- should I meet you somewhere? Here maybe?" Steven stutters out nervously.

"You know the restaurant around the block? It's off Primrose."

"Yeah, I know it."

"Meet me there by 7 tomorrow." You tell him.

"Alright." He nods and you leave with Lewis in tow, too wrapped up in his new book to pay your interaction any mind.

The next evening Steven is outside your chosen restaurant ten minutes early ignoring Marc's voice making fun of him for being so anxious.

"Steven!" You call as you walk towards him.

"Y/n, hi." He breathes with a smile.

"I hope you weren't waiting long." You say looping your arm through his as you walk into the restaurant.

"Oh no not at all. I got here only a couple of moments before you." He says. The two of you are quickly led to a table where you end up sitting for a few hours. It's awkward at first, the way first dates tend to be. Steven is unsure of what he should and shouldn't say and it makes the first bit of conversation a little unnatural but you're more than happy to take the lead, and the more you do the more he relaxes. He cracks jokes and laughs and it's the most beautiful sound you've heard in some time. While it's obvious he's still nervous around you, by the time your date ends well into the night he's the most at ease he's felt in ages. He's even the one that initiates the invite for a second date for which you go to an art show. You and Steven spend a few weeks seeing each other before eventually making it official. He's sweet and gentle and still pretty shy about certain things even after a several months together. Tonight you've invited Steven over for dinner, it'll be his first time really in your apartment and you're hoping to approach physical intimacy with him. When you hear a knock on your door you're just about done making dinner and you quickly wash your hands before answering it.

"Steven! Hi!" You smile.

"Hello love, am I too early?" He checks his watch.

"No of course not, I just finished cooking. Come in." You step out of the doorway to let him in.

"Oh! I brought you flowers." He says handing you the bouquet.

"They're gorgeous. Let me just find a vase for them. You can just take a seat at the kitchen table." You say taking the flowers from him. You find a makeshift vase for the flowers and set them on the table. You quickly serve dinner, a vegan version of your favorite pasta dish.

"You look amazing by the way." Steven breathes out as you sit beside him.

"Thank you. You look nice too." You say softly. You wait for Steven to take a bite of his food before you eat your own, eager for his reaction. He lets out a groan that brings a proud smile to your face as you eat.

"This is so good." He says.

"I'm glad you like it. It's one of my favorites to make." You tell him.

"If you cook any more meals like this I'll never let you go." He jokes.

"Who said I wanted you to do that anyway?" You muse making Steven blush. The conversation shifts to catching each other up on your days and before you know it, dinner is finished and you've migrated to the couch in your living room with wine.

"Your place is nice, it feels very you." Steven notes.

"I sure hope it does, I'm quite proud of my interior designing." You smile when Steven laughs. "Do you feel like your apartment reflect you Steven?" You ask after a moment.

"Well it's kind of a mess of books so, in some ways yes." Steven shrugs. "I think it reads mostly that it's just a place I sleep though."

"Not big on stylizing it to fit you?"

"Not sure what stylizing to fit me looks like honestly."

"A wall of books sounds like a good a place to start." You joke and he chuckles.

"Well what would you do with it?"

"With what?"

"My flat. What would you expect for it to reflect me? It's a studio, if that helps."

"A large bookshelf that you probably only half use because you're always reading five books at a time so even though it's there you still have books everywhere." He laughs at that, "Little knick knacks from your favorite exhibits at work. It's probably all neutrals, your bedsheets and stuff but you should really get something brightly colored, like nice curtains or some pretty throw pillows. Probably looks like a dead person lives there." You joke jabbing at his ribs lightly. At some point while you were talking you'd stretched out so your legs are draped over his lap.

"I'm very much alive thank you." Steven scoffs at you, hand absentmindedly rubbing your shin.

"Are you?"

"You'd be dating a ghost if I wasn't." He points out leaning towards you.

"Imagine that. My boyfriend, a ghost." You say quietly since he's so close.

"You can't feel a ghost this close to you. Can you?"

"Then it's a good thing you're not one I guess." You say, bringing him towards you with a hand at the nape of his neck. The position is a little awkward after a couple of seconds so you move to shift yourself entirely into his lap without disconnecting your lips. Steven has always been reserved in his kisses. They are soft and shy, as if he's not sure what to do although now he seems to be comfortable matching your intensity when you deepen the kiss. One hand tangles itself in his hair while the other rests against his chest.

Touch her Steven. She wants you to. Marc's voice chimes in.

Touch her?! Wait do you think she wants to go all the way? I don't-

Don't panic dude. I can always take over.

No way! She doesn't even know about you.

Maybe it's time to change that

Not tonight! Just- butt out.

At some point during their mental debate Steven stopped kissing you back, which- you definitely notice and you pull away.

"Steven. Are you alright?" You ask quietly and that brings his attention back to you.

"Y-yeah. Of course." He says.

"Steven we can stop if you're not comfortable. I have cake, we can just- go back to talking." You say shifting to get off of him. Steven's hands move to grab your hips, keeping you in place before you can move too far.

"I'm not uncomfortable. I just- I've never done this before."

"Never done what? Made out with a girl?"

"Uh well I- I thought maybe we were going to do more than that." He says awkwardly worrying that he misread the situation and made things worse by jumping to conclusions.

"We don't have to if you aren't ready." You tell him with a hand against his cheek.

"It's not that I'm not ready. I want to I just- I don't know what to do. You'll have to teach me."

"Teach you?"

"Yes teach me. teach me how to touch you and tease you show me how to please you." Steven says and you swear his words travel straight to your core.

"You're sure about this? I don't want you to feel pressured in any way."

"I'm dying to learn every inch of you." He says quietly.

"I'll tell you what you don't need help with, your words." You muse standing and pulling him with you. "We're going to my room." You toss over your shoulder.

"O-okay." He says letting you drag him down the hall to your room. As much as Steven would like to take a moment to look at your room, he's too captivated by you to bother looking anywhere else as you slowly pull the straps of your dress down. You let the dress fall to the floor and step out of it, turning to face Steven in just your underwear and his eyes are wide as he stares at you. You pull him towards you and place his hands on your waist to kiss him. You make quick work of the buttons on his shirt, running your fingers down his chest. Your hands unbuckle his belt and then stop yourself.

"Is this okay?" You whisper.

"Very okay." He sighs.

"Take them off for me baby." You say stepping back. Steven scrambles to shove his pants and boxers down his legs and nearly trips stepping otu of them. "You didn't have to rush." You muse.

"S-sorry." His cheeks ting pink in a way you find adorable.

"I'm not scolding you, but you almost tripped. I don't want you to hurt yourself." You say gently patting his cheek. With a hand on his shoulder you guide Steven to sit on the edge of your bed. You squat in front him and place a kiss against his knee, and then another above it trailing up his inner thigh and then switching to the other leg, starting at his knee again and kissing your way up. His hands squeeze the edge of your mattress as he gets worked up from your lips against his skin. When you finally take his dick in your hand Steven groans, hips twitching as your tongue traces the length of him. You wrap your fingers around him, swirling your tongue lazily around the tip while you stroke him. Only once his shaky breathing turns into strained whines do you put him all the way in your mouth, swallowing as much of him as you can and the warmth has every muscle in his body tense with pleasure. You bob your head quickly for several minutes, watching the way ecstasy paints itself across your boyfriend's face. His mouth is dropped open as sounds spill out of it, his brow is furrowed and his eyes are closed. Curious to see his pupils blown wide you gently drag your nails down his legs and his eyes pop open. You only get a glimpse of the way the pools of brown have all but disappeared behind black before his eyes close again, the sight of you staring up at him with his dick in your mouth to overwhelming for him to keep his eyes on you. When his thighs tense up beneath your palms you let up, standing while he struggles to catch his breath. You lean over enough to kiss him.

"Move back Steven." You mutter against his lips and let him shuffle his way up your bed until his head rests on your pillows. You crawl over him and sit with your legs on either side of him. You litter his neck with kisses, listening for clues of his sensitive spots smiling to yourself when his breath hitches as you nip at a spot just above his collarbone. You work the spot until a bright red mark stains his skin before you sit up.

"Touch me Steven." You tell him grabbing his hand and placing it on your chest. He hesitates for a moment before squeezing the flesh of your boob, noticing the way you gasp when his thumb grazes your nipple through the lace fabric. With a curious look on his face Steven tugs the cups of your bra down enough to reveal your breasts properly, fingers brushing over your nipples repeatedly, watching the way you subtly arch towards his touch.

"You're sensitive here." He mutters.

"Yeah, use your mouth on me." You breathe out. Steven sits up and wraps his lips around one nipple, sucking and licking it as he rolls the other between his fingers. The way moans and whimpers fall from your lips has Steven wanting to stay like this forever if it means the sounds never stop. You take Steven's free hand and guide it between your legs. Just like with your boobs, he's initially unsure of what to do but your fingers press his towards your entrance and he slowly works them inside. The way his digits curl inside you makes you grind against his hand and with dick pressed against your ass he starts to shift at the sudden friction.

"You're so- wet." Steven marvels at the feel and sound of his fingers inside you.

"You made me wet sweetheart, with your pretty sounds and even prettier dick." You say with your lips next to his ear, nipping at the lobe in a way that has him groaning.

"I wanna taste you." Steven mutters, placing kisses along your neck. You pull his hand from you and place it against his lips. He licks his fingers clean with wide eyes looking at you. "That isn't what I meant." He frowns.

"I know. Next time love. Right now I just want to ride you." You tell him raising your hips to shift your lacy panties to the side.

"But-" Steven's complaint is cut off by a harsh grunt as you line him up with your entrance and sink down on him.

"Fuck you're big." You whimper, your head dropping to his shoulder.

"S-Shit you're... warm." He huffs out. Your hands against his chest push him back against the pillows as you brace yourself and begin to bounce on him. Steven's hands grab your hips tightly as you ride him fiercely.

"You look so good under me like this Steven. So so good." You moan when you look down at him. His head is thrown back and he's grabbing you harsh enough to leave marks but fuck if it doesn't feel so perfect the way he fills you.

"W-wait- y/n I'm close." Steven warns you.

"Fuck- you wanna cum inside me baby?" You ask him and his eyes go so wide you'd find it funny in any other situation.

"C-can I?" He pleads with a look that would make you do anything he asks.

"Sure you can. If you want to."

"Gods I want to- but you- you have to cum first." He grunts. You slow your bouncing just a little so you can keep your balance when you take one hand off of him to rub circles against your clit, the bundle of nerves sensitive and swollen from lack of attention.

"F-fuck." You moan, feeling the coil in your belly tighten as you play with yourself.

"Come on love, please cum. Wanna see how gorgeous you look cumming on my dick." Steven begs. He actually begs and his words are enough to send you over spasming against him as you ride out your high. When you start to come down you pick up your pace again, focusing now on making Steven finish.

"Your turn baby. Cum for me. Fill my pussy like you want to." You drag your nails down his chest and he moans loudly as you feel warmth flood your insides. Before you can move off of him, Steven pulls you against his chest, holding you close as he recovers.

"Was that- was I okay?" He asks quietly after a moment.

"You were amazing. Especially for your first time." You tell him.

"Good- great. I'm glad. I didn't want to disappoint you-"

"You could never disappoint me Steven." You cut him off. "But there's still a lot to teach you." You add kissing his cheek.

"We can start as soon as tomorrow." He mutters, his eyes closed as sleep threatens to carry him away.

"No need to rush. You've got plenty of time to learn. I'm not going anywhere." You say rubbing soothing circles on his chest.

"Neither am I." He manages to slur out before finally he falls asleep and you allow the steady beat of his heart to lull you off too.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #moonknight #moonknight fanfiction #moonknight x reader #marc spector #steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant fluff #steven grant smut #moonknight fluff #moonknight smut

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eddiesmxse · 2 years

Text

You’re Staring - Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: None really. Well a mention of finger fucking eheheh. Lemme know if I missed anything. Not proofread lol

Okay I just had to write this down. Im gonna put the picture that made me think of this at the end skdjdkdjd

The stakes were high. The odds were against you and you guys were definitely heading into certain death. But you couldn’t help how you were damn near drooling over Eddie. There he was, just sitting with his legs close to his chest, hiding behind Steve’s seat and trying to keep a low profile, considering you were at a store with high traffic. His arms draped over each leg and hands dangling loosely in front of him, one holding the other.

His Hands.

His. Hands.

The rings, his fingers…just everything about them. God you couldn’t believe yourself. You guys are literally about to fight a fucked up, child murdering, power having psychopath and you’re thinking about your boyfriends HANDS. This had to be an all time low.

“sweetheart?” You hear him, saying one of your fave pet names but that didn’t pull you out of your trance. Is he vecna? Like this is insanity, how can hands be so so so pretty?

“Bunny?” Your ears perk up when you hear your actual favorite nickname and you blink away your sinister thoughts, tearing your eyes from his hands and looking up at him.

“Sorry what? Yeah?” You stumble, raising your brows slightly. You would be embarrassed but Eddie knows how much you love his hands so it’s not really that that’s got your face burning, it’s the fact you’re in this situation and all you can think about is being fingerfucked to the gods, by a god.

He chuckles, shaking his head and getting up from his seat and knee crawling his way over to you, putting his hands on your thighs, making you close your eyes for a second, reopening them to see your pretty boy looking up at you with a gorgeous smirk adorning his face.

“Whatcha thinking about?” He starts, biting his lip slightly.

“I’ll tell you later..” You say, shaking your head and putting your hands on his cheeks, rubbing your thumb across some of his freckles softly.

He brought his hands to your wrist, turning his head slightly and kissing your palm, looking back up at you.

“Oh cmon that’s not fair, spill it” he grumbles playfully, smiling a little wider when he saw you smile.

“It’s embarrassing, I shouldn’t be thinking about it right now” You whine, Leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him, giving him a light hug.

You sighed when he wrapped his arms around you, setting his hands on your lower back and pushing you a little bit closer to him.

“I get three guesses” He says into your neck, giving it a small kiss and smiling against it, moving his head to your ear. “That alright?” He questions, pulling back to see your face.

You only nod in agreement, laughing a little when he squints at you.

“Yes yes that’s fine, go ahead guess” You chuckle, rolling your eyes at him.

“It’s my hair?”

Nope.

“My face?”

Nope.

He smirks, biting the inside of his cheeks before pulling his arms back from around you, holding his hands up in front of your face, wiggling his fingers slightly.

“It’s my hands isn’t it?” He answers correctly, smiling smugly which makes you roll your eyes with a big stupid smile on your face.

“god I hate you, how’d you know?” You groan, putting your hands over your face*

“Baby you were staring so hard you didn’t even notice I was looking at you” He chuckles, pulling your hands from your face gently and leaning up to place a kiss on your cheek.

“Why do you know me so wellll?” you whine, crossing your arms over your chest, pouting like a kid.

“Because I know what you like” He answers smugly, dropping his hands on your sides. “And I love you.”

“Oh shutup” you squint, shaking your head at him.

He smiles before attacking your sides with tickles, causing you to erupt in a fit of giggles, trying to push his arms away.

“You guys are disgusting” Dustin groans, rolling his eyes are you two.

“Listen Butthead, when you see your girl again, I’m sure you’ll be exactly like me” Eddie scolds, pointing at him. “Mind your business”

You laugh at the two, watching Eddie get up and go over to the boy, starting to wrestle with him playfully.

There were no words to describe how much you loved him.

Something to hold you guys over whilst I finish savior pt 3 🫶🏾 love you guys. Also here’s the pic.

Taglist - @lily-sinclair-2006 @natashaashleymarvelromanoff @buckys2thicc @stratospherewalker

Creds to gif maker 🤍🫶🏾

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddiemunson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie stranger things #st4 #joseph quinn #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #eddiesmxse

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nonymous-nb · 17 days

Text

★═━┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈━═★

★ Subspace x Tall!Reader ★

★═━┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈━═★

"Tall ass bitch. — ..my tall ass bitch."

PHIGHTING! | Head-canon | Fluff | Romantic.

Warning/s: [data not found.]

Extra: [brain dead + my brain can't think of anything LMAO]

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ───────────────≺

• Ngl, I feel like Subspace wouldn't really care if you're tall or not..... lemme just write something up rq.

• Okay so, first of all, he thinks he's the tallest working demon in Blackrock. (He likes to intimidate shorter people with his height.. you can't change my mind.) So seeing someone taller than him and most importantly.. HIS OWN PHUCKING ASSISTANT— he was a bit flabbergasted when he wasn't the taller demon in blackrock now. sad lol.

• He does find your height quite useless and useful sometimes.. that's when he needs to reach much higher places that he can't reach that is.

• He doesn't like you nor does he hate you though, you guessed. he just thinks he doesn't need any assistant as he can do anything by himself, plus he has his biografts to order around.

• That's until neither of them could reach a tall ass shelf.

• He once ordered the biografts carry each other to get something off the shelf anddd... they all fell onto him LMAO—

• He did call out for you to get the stuff he needed, until you said something about him getting a chair or a ladder so he could reach it, yeah, he never asked again as he felt dumb of not thinking of that. -5 pts.

• Don't worry, you got him some mechanical parts as an apology that you think he'd like, so he won't kill you afterwards.

• He thinks it was a nice upgrade for his biografts though. +1 pts

• He is still an ass to you.

• But, he actually forgave you after about 3 months as you kept giving him the things he could use for his biografts, and occasionally asks you to buy some things..

• When he's chill and tired, do ask him about his latest inventions, he'll lighten up, he hides his little excitement and talk about it 24/7 and will never stop.. what have you done. +5 pts

• He now does insist that you go shopping with him at times, whenever he feels like it as you have an advantage to look for stuffs he wants. called you a dang giraffe too

• He makes you his personal eye shopping tree as you can see much higher places..

• Oh yeah, you carry everything too lol

• When you're now on his good side, he would repay you with a nod when you do/did something useful or worth his time.

• Don't worry it's gonna change overtime.. wink wink.

• For most parts, he acts like he doesn't like or care about anything, but wants you to get it for him secretly. do get it for him though.. +3 pts

• Oh, right, forgot to say that when you ask about his biografts or his inventions, AND you're actually interested in them??? Just know he's secretly giddy about it. +20 pts

• But now that he knows you're interested in his inventions, he showcases them to you, he never misses any damn details about it. (he talks about how efficient some of the component parts are too)

• Yay, you're on his good side, he's never letting your ass go now.

• Ngl, he dislikes it when you show anyone else with the same interest as you have for him, your interest shall solely be towards him, and him only.

• If he needs you for something and he can't find you? Yeah, doesn't happen you're the 2nd tallest in this building. no he doesnt wanna be on 2nd place.

• He also has this tendency to steal you away from anyone you talk to.. no matter how important it is, he's the boss, YOUR boss to be exact. So you should only follow HIS orders.. you are his assistant after all.

• Yeah, he only wants you to be interested in his doings and no one else. jealous ahh bit—

• [Y'know what, let's skip to when you guys are dating, yeah? I can't think of anymore bs.. why do i even do this..]

• You'll be the one carrying everything, no matter how small or big it is, you're carrying it.

• He uses you as a ladder, he makes you carry him whenever he can't reach crap.

• Also not only you're his ladder, he makes it as an excuse to do less things. Oh he could reach that? he calls for you. Oh no, it's it's a bit high up with a ladder besides it.... calls you anyway. You're his personal ladder now and you can't get away with it.

• He also makes you give him some piggyback rides, his legs are tired.

• Will definitely blush if you carry him bridal style.

• Don't do it in public though, he might present you a certain tripmine. *winks.*

• Also whenever he has some conversations with Scythe and makes him uncomfortable, he makes you as a shield.

• Scythe definitely think he's being babied.

• Overall, you're his.. you can't change that.

• You can't get away nor run now after all, you have him by your side..

≻─────────────── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

[Ngl, I don't think Subspace really cares about how tall anyone is, he just wants his inventions done and stronger.]

#—♡nb writings #phighting x reader #subspace x reader #roblox x reader #romantic #x reader #phighting subspace

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pyramid-of-starrs · 9 months

Text

Get Along Better

Probably add a pic later tehe

Pairing: Hongjoong X Fem Reader X Yeosang

Genre: Angst, Smut

Warnings: Cursing, feelings of abandonment, cheating, acts of aggression (no one is hurt), Oral sex (male receiving), angry sex, Dom reader, sub reader, angry dom Hongjoong, Sub??? Yeosang, spit, drool, choking, cum swallowing

Lemme know if I'm missing anything.

Word Count: 4.2K

A/N: This was a wild ride lol, sorry it's not really fluffy, wanted to do something kinda serious :P I was listening to this drake song and thought of this lol

MINORS DNI

This wasn’t supposed to happen, this isn’t what you wanted to do, you know it sounds cliché, but it was true. You didn’t expect that you would be under your ex on your 2-year anniversary with your boyfriend. This wasn’t supposed to be how your night ended, and Hongjoong didn’t deserve this.

It all started about 4 months ago, Hongjoong had gotten promoted to head of production for his label and you were so proud of him, you watched him make his dreams come true. However, with his promotion came long nights, which for you meant lonely nights in your shared apartment, being kept company by the gifts he gave you as “apologies” for the missed dates. You spent most nights alone in your cold bed, you missed his warmth, but you had to be understanding, this was his life now, this was your life now. It may be unfair and even saddening but all you could do was suck it up. Then again was it all you could do? One night you got a late-night text, you smiled hoping it was Hongjoong telling you that he was on his way home, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t even a text, it was an Instagram DM, that’s weird. You clicked the message and knew exactly who it was, you didn’t follow the account, but you knew just off the lame name. “y30_d0ber_”, yup, that was for sure your ex, Yeosang, you thought what he could possibly want, when you went back into the message all it said was “Are you awake? Can I please call you?” you thought the smartest thing was to say no or just block him, but you somewhat craved some human interaction. You could blame yourself for having no other friends except your boyfriend, but you’d rather blame Hongjoong for not coming home.

“Sure” was all you said when you replied, you sent him your new number and not even 2 minutes later the phone rang. You looked at the unsaved number appear on your phone screen; you could still decline and say never mind but your finger moved faster than your mind and you swiped your thumb across the screen to answer. Yeosang called you to tell you that the girl that he started dating after you, had broken his heart, it was strange how comfortable the conversation was, then again before you two dated you were best friends, so it wasn’t too bazar that the chemistry was still there. It was all a big friend group with you Yeosang, Hongjoong and some others, you all were friends since high school, no one really knew you and Yeosang dated, everyone just thought you and him were close. He was close to Hongjoong for a while but then you and Hongjoong started dating a while after you and Yeosang broke up and Yeosang distanced himself from the group, he rarely spoke to you or Hongjoong. You two sat on the phone for 3 hours catching up and giggling and smiling, it had been quite some time since you felt happy to hear someone’s voice besides Hongjoongs.

“Sorry if this is overstepping but I just wanted to say that you’re even more beautiful Y/N.”

Your heart dropped and your face heated up over the compliment, you started to get a bit flustered, it had been so long since you were complimented, you knew that Hongjoong thought you were beautiful, but it’s been forever since he told you. You and Yeosang had wrapped up your conversation at around 1AM, you stayed in your bed smiling like a little schoolgirl. Like clockwork you got another call from Hongjoong, you immediately answered it.

“Hey baby, are you going to be home soon?”

“Hey baby…I’m so Sorry to do this but…”

He paused and your heart started to sink.

“…but what?” you said, it was still silent for a moment before he finally replied.

“I have to go out of town for a while, there is a singer that has specifically requested me to produce her album, this is a huge opportunity I can’t miss out on.”

He continued to give you the details of the job, but all your mind heard was “she”, why did it have to be a “she”. You knew that Hongjoongs career had him working with all genders and walks of life and you weren’t the jealous type because you knew that Hongjoong loved you enough to come home at night but that was the issue right there, he wasn’t even coming home anymore, in your mind you had no more security. Some other woman was about to be spending the time you deserved with your boyfriend, this wasn’t fair, that was supposed to be your time with him, those were supposed to be your late nights, why did she deserve them, you got out of your head to interrupt him.

“When are you leaving?”

“Her company is sent a private jet to pick me, Maddox and Eden up tonight.”

There is no way this was all discussed in one night; this was already planned.

“Our anniversary is in 4 months; will you be back then?”

You could hear him say “fuck” under his breath.

“Y/N, it really is out of my con-“

“But it’s not though, this is what you wanted, you could have said no, and you didn’t Hongjoong.” you got mad, he didn’t even discuss things with you, he didn’t even try to offer to take you with him, he was just going to pack up and leave you behind and alone just like he did every other night.

“Y/N, don’t be upset please, we both knew what this would be like when I got this position.”

“Yeah, I thought I would still have my boyfriend though Hongjoong, not some guy that sends me gifts instead of spending time with me or taking me out on dates, you know how long it’s been since we kissed? Since we went out, since we held hands, hell since we had sex? What about what I want Hongjoong?” you started to get more upset, you were seeing red.

“I thought me being happy was what you wanted Y/N?”

“Not if it meant me being miserable!” Your voice cracked and tears started to stream down your cheeks, there was a deafening silence over the phone, no one said anything for 2 minutes, how could he not say anything, you chose to break the silence.

“Whatever, enjoy your trip Hongjoong, I’ll be here, I guess.” You hung up and 1 minute later a text saying “I love you, I’m sorry ☹” from Hongjoong was all you got, you scoffed and went to bed with your heavy heart.

The next few months without Hongjoong was hard, it was long, but it wasn’t lonely. You and Yeosang had started to talk more, going from occasionally, to a couple times a week with texting and then to talking every night and texting throughout the day. You got text from your actual boyfriend still and could facetime for about 10 minutes but most the time he was either in his hotel room about to go to sleep or in the studio working. You had learned to be content with it, you became comfortable with it and had to accept that this was your cross to bear if you wanted to be with Hongjoong. You were grateful that Yeosang was there to keep you company though.

The day of you and Hongjoongs anniversary rolled around, and you called him as soon as you woke up, excited to just hear his voice. He answered after 2 rings.

“Good morning baby, how are you?” You said eagerly.

“Good morning” he said in a raspy voice, he yawned which indicated that your call had woke him up.

“I’m sorry, do you want me to call you back later?”

“Nah, it’s fine I’m up now, what’s up?” He said looking uninterested at the camera.

“Well, I just called to say, Happy anniversary…”

“Right, yeah, sorry, happy anniversary Y/N.”

You flashed a fake smile, and he gave you one back.

“You...you forgot, didn’t you?”

“Y/N, don’t start with me this early you know I have been busy; the days are kinda just going by fast.”

You tried your best to be supportive and you tried your best not to get upset but you just couldn’t help it.

“I get that Hongjoong, but would it kill you to remember our anniversary? It’s just one day? I bet if it was a deadline or something to do with her you would have remembered.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically dropped his head on the headrest.

“It’s not like me and you are married Y/N, this is not that serious, it’s not even a milestone.”

Not that serious…not that serious… that’s the part that kept ringing in your head.

“You know what you’re right, it’s not that serious, just like you said we aren’t married, have a great day.”

You hung up, since it seems like this relationship isn’t serious for him it was time that it became not that serious for you. You decided to spend the day treating yourself and not replying to Hongjoongs messages are calls. You got your nails done, bought yourself a new outfit and even set up dinner plans, and no, not by yourself, you invited Yeosang out to dinner that night, on the night of your anniversary with Hongjoong. He was nothing short of a gentlemen the entire night, he looked so gorgeous, Yeosang had always been a pretty boy, but the black wolf cut he had done him even more justice. He asked if you were tired and offered to let you stay at his apartment since it was close to the restaurant, you should have said no, you should have just gone home, your pettiness was already done, why take it a step further? There was no logical answer to that question, you just missed being wanted, missed being held and Yeosang was there to do that. You two went back to his apartment, and you watched some random movie on his couch, you put your head on his shoulder and vented about how sad you were about Hongjoong.

“Y/N, he doesn’t deserve you, you do everything for him and sacrificed so much, why should he just get to be happy, I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

You gazed into his brown orbs before leaning in and attaching your lips to his. He said everything you needed to hear, he said everything you wanted your boyfriend to say and best of all, he was here with you. That’s how you ended up here in Yeosangs bed, bare underneath him as he kissed along your body. He kissed up the sides of your body trying to show you the attention you had been missing in your relationship, when he made it to your hardened nipples, he wrapped his pretty lips around and sucked them while his hands gripped the sides of your breast. You had to admit that the sensation wasn’t the same as when Hongjoong touches you because that was making love. This wasn’t that, this was revenge, this was payback, this was a long overdue fuck that you needed and had no one to give it to you.

As he sucked your nipples you moaned, your body was sensitive from the lack of care, he was so gentle and you were so upset, you just wanted him to fuck you, hard. You pushed him off of you , he fell to the side of the bed, and he looked up at you confused. You decided to take matters into your own hands, you gripped the base of his dick that he already put a condom on, he hissed at your roughness, he put one of your legs on the other side of him as you lined him up with your entrance.

“Wait Y/N let me prep you first.”

But you didn’t want that, you didn’t want to be cared about anymore in that moment, you just wanted to feel something to get the anger out. Once again you didn’t know if you were madder at yourself for doing this or mad at Hongjoong for pushing you too this breaking point.

“I don’t deserve it.” Was all you said before you sunk down on his length, helpless and needy moans came from your lips. The stinging pleasure hurt in the best way, Yeosang gripped your hips as you moved up and down on his dick, his heavy breathing, your moans and the squelching of your pussy was the only thing that could be heard in the room. You thought back to the time you and Hongjoong first had sex like this, you remember feeling shy with him seeing you in such a vulnerable state, you used your arm to cover your body and he giggled at you. He guided your hips up and down while telling you how beautiful you looked.

“You feel so good Y/N”

Deep in thought you heard the voice that wasn’t Hongjoong say this.

“Fuck, please go faster.”

Yeosang said as he dug his fingers into your sides so hard that it was going to leave a mark.

That’s right, it was Yeosang here with you, seeing your body, feeling you in the most intimate way. What were you doing here? Why were you doing this, you were covered in regret but then you are reminded of Hongjoongs actions since he was promoted, sure he was in the running for boyfriend of the year before that now he’s just a grumpy man that didn’t give you what you wanted, and all you wanted was him. So why not bounce on your ex-boyfriend’s dick.

You placed your hands on the sides of Yeosangs rock hard body and moved his dick out of your wet folds, he was puzzled but then you got on your toes on the bed and slid his dick back in. You started to quickly slam your hips onto his hard dick. Your pussy was so wet the sounds it made were pornographic, you moved your hands to Yeosangs buff shoulders to get more stability. He was barely hold on as he was roughly biting down on his lip trying to keep himself from cumming.

“Tell me I deserve better again Yeo.”

He couldn’t help his little whimpers and moans that came out, your pussy was tightly gripping him, he felt like he was going to go insane.

“I said tell me I deserve better again!” You didn’t mean to yell, but you just needed to hear it again, you needed the validation.

“You deserve so much better Y/N, you deserve this.”

You mean at his words, it made you feel empowered, made you feel like you had meaning.

“Yes, Fuck, I deserve to cum.”

Your pace got wilder as you started to scoot your hips back and forth, it had not rhythm of specific flow, you were just chasing your high at this point.

“Yes, cum Y/N, cum for me.”

A few more bounces and you were seeing stars, you and Yeosang both came as you held his throbbing dick deep inside of you. You swear post nut clarity was something men made up as an easy way to ghost women but that’s the only way to describe how you were feeling once you came down from your peak. A horrible strain of guilty washed over you as you removed yourself off Yeosangs now soft length. How could you do something like this to Hongjoong? Yes, he hasn’t been the most perfect partner, but he didn’t deserve this, no one did. You hurried and started to collect your clothes as you quietly spoke to yourself.

"Y/N, wait, you can clean yourself up and stay here if you want."

"Why, why...?" you said under your breath as you frantically put on your dress.

"Y/N"

"No...no...how could I?" you continued to talk to your self, Yeosang started to get concerned so he got up to check on you. He placed his hand on your shoulder, and you snatched your shoulder away, he jumped back.

"I'm sorry I have to go...this was a mistake." You left before Yeosang could convince you to stay. You headed home once you walked through the door of your apartment that was once filled with the atmosphere of love you started to feel sick to your stomach. You went to take a shower but no matter how hard you scrubbed you couldn't undo what you did. Once you were in bed you cried yourself to sleep.

The morning came and you were woken from your sleep by the front door opening, your eyes fluttered open, and you slowly rose from bed. You didn't even care who it was, you just felt dull and numb. The door to your bedroom opened and Hongjoong stood in the frame. You got up quickly hurrying to go hug him, you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

"I missed you so much Hongjoong, what are you doing here?"

"I took a break from the project I'm going back tomorrow..." he said in an emotionless voice.

You released him from your grasp and smiled at him.

"Perfect I'll pack, I need to come with you." you walked to the closet happily, was this your get out of jail free card? You could go with Hongjoong and forget this ever happened, completely cut all ties with Yeosang and just move on with your true love. You grabbed your duffle bag and started to put your clean clothes in. Hongjoong stood there watching you silently with a blank face before saying something.

"Y/N how fucking stupid do you think I am?"

You froze in place, there was no way he could possibly know, no way.

"W-what are you-"

"Don't fucking bullshit me Y/N!" He yelled as he slammed his fist into the wall, you winced at his sudden anger.

"How the fuck do you think I feel getting on to a private jet to fix things with my girlfriend just to check her location and see she’s at her exes house?"

"...who told you he was my ex?"

He rubbed his face, stressed that that was what you chose to focus on out of everything he just said.

"Oh, my fucking God Y/N I'm not a fucking idiot, EVERYONE KNEW! YEARS AGO! You don't think I put two and two together when he conveniently stopped being both our friends when we started dating? Why does that even fucking matter? Why the fuck were you at his house that late and for that long?"

You looked around and started to hyperventilate, what can you do to get out of this? What can you say?

"Y-you- this is your fault! You pushed me to this point!"

This isn't what your brain was telling you to say but you had to defend yourself somehow.

"I pushed you to your exes house?! Y/N I get it I'm working a lot and I'm so sorry I have neglected you, but you can't possibly believe that whatever you did over there was excusable!"

"It's not but...what was I supposed to do Hongjoong? You gave me no other choice. You didn't spend time with me, you didn't talk to me, you weren't giving me attention emotionally or...physically."

His eyes were like daggers as he walked up closer to you, he was inches away from you as he stared directly into your soul.

"What the fuck do you mean...physically?"

You licked and bit your bottom lip as you started to babble before tears started to fall out of your eyes once again.

"...did you sleep with him Y/N?"

There was a silence, you could hear a pen drop in that moment, you looked up at him, eyes filled with tears.

"...I'm sorry...It wasn't supposed to happen...I'm so sorry Hongjoong."

You dropped to your knees, you were so emotionally distraught you didn't know what to do. You wanted to fix this, this was a mistake, a stain that needed to be washed away. You cried so hard you could barely breath, then you felt Hongjoongs hand pull your wrist harshly, yanking you upward. He pulled you over to the bed and pushed you down on to it. He grabbed you by your throat, you could feel that he wasn't trying to hurt you, but the amount of anger coursing through Hongjoong could be felt in his gaze.

"I don't give you what you want because I have to work to provide for us and you go and do whatever the hell you want like a spoiled fucking brat?" his grip got a bit tighter.

"You’re such a fucking slut, so eager to hop on the next dick that you find."

You whimper in his grasp, though his words were harsh you couldn't help feeling turned on, your pussy clenched and unclenched around nothing while your clit throbbed. This was what you deserved, you deserved to be treated so roughly, what you wanted from Yeosang Hongjoong was giving too you right now.

"You just want to be fucked like a little whore then I'll do that." he released you and you coughed a bit.

"Get on your knees."

"Hongjoong I-"

"Don't speak to me, get on your fucking knees."

You listened and got off the bed and dropped to your knees in front of him. He stood there staring at you for a brief moment then grabbed your chin. He brushed your wet lips with his thumb.

"Did you let him fuck your pretty little mouth?"

"No, I swear."

"Open your mouth."

You obeyed him and opened your mouth, he stuck his thumb into your mouth and pressed your tongue down.

"Say sorry to me."

You tried your best to apologize to him with his finger in your mouth, but it just sounded like nonsense. He wanted you to feel stupid because what you did was stupid.

"You're so pathetic." He laughed at your efforts, a laugh you never heard from him. He tilted your head up and bent down a bit, you knew what was coming next. He spit directly onto your tongue, the cold saliva quickly turning warm in your hot mouth.

"Swallow."

That was all he said, and you closed your mouth, wrapping your lips around his digit and swallowed while you looked him in his low eyes.

"You want my dick in your throat?"

You nodded.

"Use your words, you're not that dumb."

"Yes, Hongjoong please fuck my throat."

"Take it out since you want it so bad."

He took his thumb out of your mouth, and you immediately reached for his jeans, you undid his belt, pants button and zipper and pulled his pants and underwear down. His hard dick sprung out, it was red and ready with precum drooling from it, degrading you really turned him on. You gripped the base of his dick and pumped it a few times before wrapping your lips around the tip. You started to bob your head up and down slowly like you usually do, but this wasn't a usual situation. Hongjoong grabbed the back of your head to hold it still and pushed his dick to the back of your throat making you gag. He pulled it out and slapped his wet tip on too your lips.

"I want you to fucking choke on my dick got it slut?"

"Yes."

You opened your mouth, and he slid his dick back in, Hongjoong was more on the average side when it came to length, but he had a good amount of girth, he could reach the back of your throat with easy and stretched your mouth while doing it. He rocked his hips as his dick fucked your hot mouth, he sped up the pace as you started to gag every time the tip hit the back of your mouth. Drool started to come out the sides of your mouth while he groaned and bit his bottom lip.

"You want me to cum down your throat, don't you?"

"Mm" was all you could say with your mouth stuffed, your eyes were watering and full strings of spit was coming out and dropping on your knees and the floor.

"I know you do whore, and you better fucking swallow all of it."

He started to pound his dick into your mouth, you whimpered at the unforgiving speed of his thrusting. You grabbed the sides of his hips to try to slow him down, but it was too late. He held his dick deep in your mouth as he shot his hot load down your throat. You immediately started to drink his seed as it came out. He pulled his member from your mouth, a string of spit connecting his dick and your tongue came out as well.

"Get up."

He started to pull up his underwear and pants, you got up confused. Even though you didn't deserve it, you were hoping that he would still give you the satisfaction of fucking you.

"I'm going back to work." Was all he said before he walked out the bedroom, you hurried to follow him to try to plead your case and hopefully fix your relationship.

"Hongjoong please understand that this was a mistake, I love you so much."

He didn't reply he just stayed silent as he walked out the door.

Leaving you there.

You were alone again.

taglist:

@mingyuwus @sillyhappygirl @atiny-dime-p1ece @bloody-wine @angelsaway

#ateez smut #ateez fanfic #atz smut #hongjoong smut #yeosang smut #hongjoong angst #yeosang angst #ateez angst #writenbypyramidofstars

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galaxycunt · 2 months

Text

My Dinner With Buggy pt 2

I love playing with dialog so I figured why not keep going. As with part one it’s all dialogue so enjoy the ride everyone lol

Tagging @gingernut1314 @gayafsatan as yall requested a part 2 a million years ago

Sea spray hits your face as you left the restaurant, “so, what’s the move?”

Hands appear in front of you holding two bottles of wine, “one for each of us.”

“Really? In front of a lieutenant like that?”

“You gonna handcuff me, officer?”

You giggle, “miss Impel Down that much, huh?”

“God! Let’s not talk about that fucked up place. Take the wine, honey.”

“I let you order steak and this is how you repay me?”

He wags his tongue, “I’m covering dessert.”

“Gross.”

“You love it, shut up. So where’s this room you got?”

“Couple blocks down. You don’t wanna go to a bar?”

“I haven’t seen you in at least 6 years. I wanna make up for lost time.”

“Tch. Shooting for the stars tonight?”

Buggy frowns, “I thought this was a date.”

You falter, “hey. I thought we were teasing. Come here, Bug.”

Your lips taste sweet, “I missed you a lot. I’m not the only salty dog missing their lost love, but hey, you’re more important, so there.”

You kiss him again, “let’s go out for a little bit?”

“Sure, I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. Oh shit! I forgot, I left something for you on the ship.”

“We got road wine, let’s go get it”

“This is nice, by the way.”

“It is. Too bad you ain’t a civ, easier. Even easier if you were a marine.”

“I’m gonna ask again. You’d like it.”

“I dunno, man. Lot of baggage with that. Especially on the Grand Line.”

“Not with me.”

“You already got captured once, baby.”

“I know, I know. But you hate this shit. Been in the game too long, why?”

“I dunno, maybe I felt we were doing something good. Too old for that shit, I guess”, the Big Top is as nice as you remember it, “there’s the old girl.”

He smiles, “my two girls, together at last.”

“I wonder if that note I left is still there.”

“Note? What-“

“-captain! Oh shit, look who it is!”

“-Cabaji! Glad someone’s keeping Bug outta trouble!”

He smiles at the two of you, “we should catch up. Later.”

“Thanks, man. See ya.”

“So what note?”

“Oh! It’s uh, not important. Just something I wrote last time I was here.”

“Where’d you hide it?”

“In the galley, deep, deep in the pantry.”

He kisses you, “let’s go find it then.”

“Buggy, no. Come on, you’re supposed to take me out.”

“Real quick. I promise.”

You tug him away, to no avail, “Buggy. It’s really stupid, you’ll enjoy it after a few drinks.”

“I got a few bottles in my room. We can read it there.”

“What about my gift?”

“Just a buncha jewelry, who cares? I’m finding that letter.”

Turns out he can find anything with ease if he wanted to, “aw. Your handwriting is so cute sometimes.”

“Oh, shut up.”

He kisses your temple, he’s getting very touchy, you realize, “lemme guess, treasure map?”

“Look, it’s something I wrote when we were like 18.”

“….really?”

“Uh huh.”

He jerks his chin toward his cabin, “let’s take this somewhere quiet.”

You hear your heart beat in your ears, cheeks on fire, “it’s really cringey. I was 18.”

“Do you really not want me to read it?”

“You’ll make fun of me.”

“I won’t. I really won’t.”

“Okay.”

“I already know you love me.”

You laugh, “shit. Guess you’re right.”

He clears his throat, “Buggy, our paths are unwinding, the red string of fate tugging us apart.”

“Oh Jesus, it’s worse than I thought.”

Heightening his voice he continues, “if only I knew the devil’s pact I made, and the one you sold your soul to. My love I can’t bear it. You don’t even know I love you.”

“See, that’s why I didn’t wanna read it.”

“So why even give it to me?”

“Because I didn’t think you loved me.”

He grows serious, “I did. Why did you think I did that stupid shit? To impress you, dummy.”

“You’re such a clown.”

“Exactly! You liked clowns.”

You smile, “yeah, I remember that asshole at the pier.”

“Join my crew, I’ll marry ya.”

“Only if I join?”

“We been apart too long, I’m not waiting until I hit some shitty village every six months to see you.”

“Ah, that makes sense now.”

“Sometimes I’d lower the Jolly Roger, just see if our boats can pass by, if I can see you on the deck.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.”

You stare at his lips, you wouldn’t be the only Marine turning, “marry me tonight then.”

“Don’t think captains can officiate their own wedding.”

“Let’s find someone.”

He looks at the clock, “and if we can’t?”

“Ask me again tomorrow. Do it for real.”

Buggy picks you up instead, “can we just skip to the wedding night?”

“I’m not gonna marry you then.”

He smirks, “according to that letter, we’ve been married for 18 years already.”

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x you #one piece

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urperfectcinnamonroll07 · 2 months

Text

Nishimura Riki dating hc's

requested?: no genre: headcanons pairings: nishimura riki x gn!reader warnings: nothing really, just a whole bunch of fluff, riki being a cutie pie, small mentions of teasing/pet names, about it, lmk if i missed anything summary: n/a word count: 788 a/n: hiya babes, just thought i would make a little headcanon for riki, stay tunes for maybe two(?) drabbles tonight, idk if i'll get round to both of them lol, but enjoy, mwah

honestly dk where to start here

okay, I feel like riki would definitely tease you if you’re shorter than him

especially if you two had gotten into a fight

i feel like he would move things into a higher up position just to get you to talk to him if you were giving him the cold shoulder

i also feel like he would give you pretty sweet nicknames, but also some teasing ones

like: angel, princess, shortie and etc

if you liked baking/cooking, i feel like he would try to cook with you

ends with you two having a food fight of some sort, and having to shower to get the remanence of the foods off of you two

or maybe if you were like baking, he would get frosting and put it on your nose with the little “you got something there, lemme get it for you”

or like, smearing the icing all over your face

definitely would love going on late night walks with you

like, while you were looking at the sunset he would be just staring at you

i dunno if he would really be the type to show he is a hopeless romantic, but definitely denies it when you bring it up

tries to act all tough, but deep down if just a baby

back hugs>>>>>>

like, if you were cooking or busy with something, he would just come up behind you and hug you, leaving feather light kisses on you neck

and sometimes vice versa

with the acting all tough thing, i feel like at night he would just want to be held by you

like with his head on your chest, listening to your steady heartbeat and slow breathing

helps him fall asleep yk

i feel like if you were on your period (for female readers or those who have periods) he wouldn’t really know what to do

“are you on like, your girl time?”

“yes riki, i’m on my period”

i feel like he would still go to the shops and buy you what you need

having baths together to comfort you and get rid of cramps

on the side of comforting, i feel like he would defo do something to try and make you laugh if you were having a rough day/crying

probably shit at comforting, but will try his hardest when you need it

also seeks warmth from you

needs a lot of comfort himself with being an idol and all

very stressful job yk

especially at his age

i feel like also with his height, he would looooooooooove seeing how big his clothes were on you

also just likes to show you off as his

sometimes takes you to the dance studio so you can see him nd all of the others dancing

definitely tries to show off

but fails miserably by messing up a dance move or smt

also i feel like he would try to show off by playing basketball of something like that

you’re probably the first to see his hair when he dyes it

his hugs can be are your home

like, his hugs are so tight and comforting yk

you fell first but he fell harder ykyk

defo says ‘i love you’ first

like, hes half asleep when he says it, his head on your chest

and when he realises what he said, hes like, ‘oh shit’

but then you say it back and hes so relieved

when you know you know, yk?

literally loves you so much, even if he doesn’t show it all that much

i feel like he wouldn’t be all into pda, but defo shows that you’re his in public when he sees people staring at you

love languages are maybe like, acts of service, maybe a sprinkle of physical affection

our boy js needs a lot of love yk

“i saw this and it reminded me of you”

“aw, riks, you didn’t have to”

literally gets you anything that reminds him of you/things he knows you would like

i feel like he would also maybe gets into fights for you if he hears someone chatting shit about you

ends with you sat across from him, cleaning his cuts and stuff

overall loves you a ton and would do anything for you

defo a lot of teasing on both of your behalf

hypes you up when you dress up or (if you’re into make up) do your make up nicely for an event

his kisses are soft at first, but he slowly starts to get more confident in kissing you

but yeah

i feel like he would love you so much even if he doesn’t show it all that much, but definitely shows it in different ways

#kpop #enhypen #nishimura riki #nishimura riki x reader #fluff #riki fluff

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shurisneakers · 2 years

Text

bridges break (i)

Summary: steve shuts himself away. you pull him along on a trip of a lifetime in an attempt to reconnect. great plan! except there's one big secret he's keeping from you that could change the course of your entire relationship, and there's no greasy stack of diner pancakes in the country big enough to hide behind.

(road trip!au, best friends to lovers)

Warnings: angst, mentions of death and violence, nightmares (?), mental health issues and disorientation, ptsd, swearing. lemme know if i missed anything and I'll tag it.

A/N: TAKE 2 MFS. a tarot reader lady on youtube told me to stop pushing and finally publish this fic lol. to my beloveds: tanya, ayesha, and chips ahoy traitor. thank you. ily.

pls know that this is my lil fic in my lil corner of the internet don't come at me if you don't like it, just block me <3

Steve’s legs dangle languidly off the concrete shore. His palm should be pressed to the ground, keeping his balance, but they instead defiantly clasp around an old worn-out sketchbook. His fingers nimbly capture ships on the horizon, waves lapping at the wall several feet below him and the orange of the evening reflecting off of rusted metal.

He looks up for a moment when a horn blares, loud and good. A smile slips past as he snaps his notebook shut and places it beside him, clenching his eyes shut and deeply inhaling the saltiness in the air.

Life is warm. Life is stripped down to its bare essence and still, life is good.

Steve jerks awake.

For months he expected nightmares to drag him out of his sleep, heaving and wide-eyed.

For months they never arrive, leaving him with the saccharine sweetness of the sun’s heat on his skin and legs stretched over the harbour.

Decidedly, it is worse.

____

He's seen those apartments in the catalogues, on TV shows and more. Grey, with furniture placed methodically only where it was required. A fake plant to spruce it up, one painting adding just one colour-- maybe a yellow, or an orange-- amidst the whites and blacks.

He's always thought it looked too sanitised. Like an office, or the boardrooms he spent most of daylight in. You couldn't possibly live in a home where everything felt like a touch away from being corrupted; too clean, like no one had ever lived in it.

But mostly, he always thought it looked lonely.

His apartment was filled- and remained in the process of it, too- with knick-knacks. Posters of movies he hadn't yet seen and of ones from the past that he had, paintings from local artists selling on the street, stuff he'd wrestled back from the museums. They'd called it artefacts, Steve had always just called it his old notebooks and his mother's clay sculptures. Those rested on the mantle.

Nothing had been added to the house in months.

"Captain."

Steve blinks, long.

He lifts his eyes to the person opposite to him, dark tailored suit and pinned back hair, greying prematurely.

"Yes?" he asks, ring finger still covering his mouth as his palm holds up the weight of his jaw.

"You haven't said a word since you got here," she replies with a poisonously sweet smile.

"Was just listening to what everyone had to say," Steve lies, and it's the first of many he'll tell today.

A panel. Steve’s on a panel of experts. Security experts. He doesn't even fucking know why-- he's never been very good at predicting which new being was going to fall out of the sky and try to kill all his friends.

"Nothing to add?" Though her tone is friendly, her eyes unsettlingly held no emotion.

"Have a feelin' you all know what I'm gonna say," he replies.

There's a sigh at the end of the long table, clearing one's throat from the other. Steve's stare remains steadfast.

“Captain Rogers. Steve," she-- Councilwoman Murray, he suddenly remembers-- says with a tick in her voice, pleasantly. "What we're proposing-"

"I know. I heard you," he says, calm as ever. "You want to set up a base in space with weapons of mass destruction in case an event like the Blip were to happen again. While I appreciate your patience, Councilwoman, here's where you're going to have to put up with me because I'm gonna tell you what I've been sayin' every single time we've met: it doesn't make sense."

"It is for international peace," she sighs.

It became very clear in the first meeting that his beliefs don’t align with the rest of them, but they've committed and so has he. No matter how many people slid him deals under the table or offered him positions like president, his opinion wasn't going to shift.

"A base that falls under American jurisdiction, run by American soldiers, using American produced weapons, serving under the orders of an American government, serving on the basis of, and I'm quoting your proposal here, threats against the citizens of the United States of America." Steve arches a brow. "Doesn't sound real international to me, especially when you're planning on vetoing anyone who doesn't agree. Just a scare tactic to the rest of the world."

Another suffering sigh. He can see a smile threaten to creep up on Mona’s face.

"Besides, it's quite the budget you've allocated to this project," he continues, pushing forward the document. "I think it'd be better spent on the millions of people you say you're glad are back. Last I heard, they’re still waiting on the resources you've promised."

With the last word, there's a faint sense of deja vu warm in his chest. He's sure he's brought this up elsewhere, but he can't pinpoint where. It’s hard to remember how he gets from one place to another. Or is it hard to pay attention? He can’t tell the difference anymore, it didn’t matter much.

Years, he has to correct himself.

Everything looked the same as it did six years ago. The last thing that he remembers adding to the decor was a framed picture of you and him at a baseball game before it all went to shit in Germany. That sat on the mantle, too.

He walks past it every morning, diverting his eyes to the kitchen before he catches sight of it and the pit forms in his stomach again. Still, he can't find it in himself to remove it.

Steve drags a razor across his cheek. It cleanly wipes away the foam, leaving behind clear skin, neat. Some days he just used soap when he couldn't open the shelf and reach for the shaving cream.

He turns his head down to slosh the razor around in the water. He remembers when he used to like the sound, thought it was fun.

There is red when he lifts his head back up to the mirror. Piercing red.

“It’s not that easy, Rogers.”

“Isn’t it?” Steve shoots a glance at the head of the table. "Seems pretty damn easy to me to decide what the money should go towards, and it's not the next tax write-off for the megalomaniac who's funded the doughnuts for this meeting."

The member’s jaw tightens and he sinks back into his seat again. The room’s quiet, an amalgamation of awkward stares and rolling eyes.

Because of course, Steve didn’t understand the problem. Steve didn’t understand the politics of it all.

Steve's just there 'cause Captain America has to be.

There's a thin line of blood when he lifts his head back up to the mirror. It races from about half his cheek down to his jaw, bright crimson changing to a dull red as it dilutes.

Steve stares at it for several moments. His watch ticks, reminding him that he may be frozen but the world was still spinning around him. But it was 5am and he's got nowhere to be for at least three hours.

When he drags his stare away from the nick and to his eyes in the mirror, he remember how the air used to get sucked out of the room. The same clocks used to stop ticking.

There was nothing there. He was not there. It was empty and he looked back at himself, tired eyes and glowing skin.

But now everything goes on as it did before. There is still nothing there, not even him. The air is still heavy in the bathroom and the watch keeps ticking.

Steve uses his thumb to wipe away the blood, and keeps going.

“Coffee, Captain Rogers?”

It’s a steady little routine they’ve fallen into. Mona asks him, always at precisely the right time, whether he would like a cup as they walk towards one of the many assigned conference rooms that day.

He told her yes once, and she committed his order to heart. It wasn't a big feat-- black, with no sugar and no cream-- but he appreciated it all the same. He carelessly downed it like a shot, ignoring the s as it goes down his throat.

Steve gently turns her down today, however. She quickly rats off a list of people he has to meet, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose in the process. He nods dimly, knowing that she'd send him a text with all the details anyway.

“You have to meet with Mr Langstaff at 12, and Mr Estrada at 1:30 to decide your press release. Y/N demands that you pick up the phone, and you have dinner with Mrs Madron at 8 at the Ritz about the ambassadorship.”

Steve's ears perk up, head snapping towards her. “What was that?”

“You have dinner at 8 with Mrs Madron at the Ritz,” Mona repeats slowly, deliberately.

“No, before that.”

She flips a page back on her notepad before reciting, “Y/N demands that you pick up the phone.”

Christ.

Steve swiftly skims through his phone, brows furrowing when he finds nothing. It takes a second to hit that if you were to call him, it probably wouldn't be to his work number. The work phone had a few texts and missed calls he hadn't responded to yet. He would be meeting them in the next few days anyway, what was the damn hurry?

From Y/N

Been a few days, you around?

From Y/N

Mona says you're busy so I'm not gonna call, but I left a message with her. Don't feel pressured to respond immediately, it was mostly a joke

Fuck.

From Y/N

Just lemme know if you're good

He curses softly under his breath, before pressing a button and holding the phone up to his ear.

He ignores the people walking past, some doing a double take when they see him standing in the middle of the hallway on a random weekday.

“Y/N,” he says in greeting the second you pick up. "Hey."

“Steve,” you reply equally as quick. “You all right?”`

“'M sorry, it's been a while since I checked this phone. I‘m fine.”

He can hear you exhale slightly at the other end, and the snap of elastic on your skin. He waits patiently outside the conference room for the people to start filing in, but he estimates another ten minutes before they do.

“Sorry, Stevie, didn’t mean to worry you,” you say, prying the gloves away from your hand, “It's just-- the last time you missed a couple'a calls, I had to find out you’re enemy of the state from the receptionist.”

“No, I get it. I forgot to respond, it's my bad.” He keeps his phone on silent these days. The only communication he really responds to with urgency is what Mona deems critical.

“We still meeting up for coffee today?”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose hard. Of all the things to slip his mind in the middle of all the legal jargon and fundraising efforts.

He sneaks a glance at his watch, and then back at the meeting room where an assistant was placing glasses of water in front of seats, and back at his watch.

“We don’t have to, if you’re not up for it,” you remind him in the lingering silence. “I know your schedule is busy these days.”

He had conferences, and dinners, and calls to ignore, and people to scorn, because if he wasn't fighting, then he's gotta be doing more to be helping people out, right?

“4pm, at Whole Latte Love, wasn't it?” His eye catches Mona’s, who swiftly flips through several pages of her notebook to write down his new plan. “I’ll be there.”

“You sure?”

“‘Course.” The corners of his mouth lift softly. "Can't wait."

“All right.” He can hear the smile in your voice. It’d been a while. “See you there.”

The call ends with a soft click. His posture immediately stiffens again.

Mona’s attention is still on the notepad when she says, “Guess that cancels the video call with Jepsen at 4:15.”

______

He pulls the brim of his cap even lower, if that was possible, fully intending to cover up his untrimmed hair. It didn't work very well; whatever was too long for the cap just stuck up in strange angles given how tight the hat was.

The smell of roasting coffee beans was intense, and a little hard to take in. He had been here loads of times before, but those visits had thinned out and the gaps in between each had increased exponentially over the last few years.

When he scours the area, all he sees are booths occupied with people speaking in hushed tones. It serves to remind him again that the world seemed a lot quieter now.

Six years ago, he couldn't take a step down a street without hearing cries for missing sons, aunts, friends. Then, of course, there was silence. Almost deafening, as people slowly picked themselves up, tried to make sense of the life they were living now.

It continued even when the Snapped were back. The parades were loud and the parties even louder but everything seemed muted. Almost like they expected the returned to leave again, cautious about how much energy they spent celebrating something that could disappear in an instant.

The chair scrapes against the linoleum floor, pulling his attention away from his lap.

He doesn't even know when he sat down.

“Please, don’t look so surprised.” You don’t go for a greeting, instead, taking note of the slightly dilated eyes. “Only you would wear a cap indoors and think it’s a good disguise.”

Steve glances around discreetly. “No one else noticed.”

“What, that you look like you want to hide?” You snort, laying all your stuff on the table after taking a seat. “Yeah, they did. Hi, by the way.”

If they did, they didn’t say anything.

"Hi," he says back. "You look good."

You narrow your eyes at him, before your face breaks into a small smile. "I didn't realise disarray and chaos was pleasing to you."

He shrugs. "You make it work."

Your head ducks with a smile and a small shake. “Did you order anything?”

"Not yet."

“Do you want to?” You pour over the menu in front of you even though you’ve been here before with him so many times you know exactly what you want. “Coffee, black, no sugar, no cream?”

Even though he declined Mona on the same offer, he takes you up on yours. It's always been hard to say no to you.

You quickly flag down the waitress, giving her your orders and a big smile and revert back to Steve.

“Haven’t heard from you in a while,” you say, leaning forward on your elbows. “How’s everything going?”

It hasn’t been on purpose-- well, it was-- but no one had really heard from him in a while.

“You know,” he draws out, “a lot of conversations with a lot of… interesting people.”

“Snobs?" you offer. "Uptight?”

“That's one way to put it.” There’s humour in his words but only a wisp of it on his face. “They’re thinkin’ of holding another carnival in a month.”

“What, like one obnoxious parade wasn’t enough already?”

“That’s what I told ‘em. But elections are coming up and the guy wants as much publicity as they can afford.” He restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “Tell me you're doing better on your side.”

“It’s like middle school all over again, Stevie.” The corner of your lip stretches thin in annoyance. “Ever since the return, everyone’s been fightin’ over desks and projects that we completed while they were gone.”

One of the most reputed labs in the world, some of the most formidable brains of nature and endless arguments over whose table gets to face the window, and who gets to sit nearest to the water cooler for better access to office gossip.

"Jesus," he says, before a familiar voice pinches him. Don't take the Lord's name in vain.

"Gets better."

Steve quirks an eyebrow.

The conversation gets cut short when the waitress sets down a cup in front of him and fills it nearly to the brim. It already smells better than the garbage they serve at the town hall, and he certainly could use a cup to make up for the fifty hours he'd spent awake so far.

"Thank you," he tells her before turning his attention to you. "Better how?"

“Well-- better is actually pretty subjective. Positions are shuffling around, people are moving.” You bite your lip. “They offered me a new job.”

He smiles for the first time that day, a big-toothed grin. "They did?"

"New title. Just fancier words for a person that runs that joint." You blow gently at your beverage, shoulders rising and falling nonchalantly. "Pays real well. Lot more access to resources, grants. Everything."

"Sounds like a dream," he says carefully, noting the lack of eye contact.

“I’m not sure if I’m gonna take it, though."

There it is. “Why?”

“Don't know if I want to." You shrug. "They only floated it by me a while ago, and it's pretty under wraps, so I have time. Don't have to answer 'em right away."

"Is there something going on?" If he'd somehow managed to miss it while doing God knows what, he'd never let himself forget it.

"No, there's nothing," you reassure. "I just don't know if I wanna do it."

Steve inclines his head. You expertly dodge it with a clearing of your throat.

“Sam told me the new compound’s been coming up okay.” God, he hadn’t seen Sam since the time he came back from returning the stones to their rightful place and that had been a few months ago.

“Yeah, almost done, actually. Most of the stuff’s been moved already.”

All the way across the country, far away from New York and its bi-annual alien attacks. Pepper had had enough after the compound got wrecked again, ordering for a complete shift to preserve whatever was left from the destruction.

“Do you think I can score a designated parking spot?”

“You can try."

"Or you can." You grin at him. "Put in a word for me."

Steve clicks his tongue. “Don't think it'd do any good. No special privileges, even for employees.”

“Damn it,” you curse under your breath and he lets out a small chuckle. “You think they’d throw free parking in with the healthcare.”

"Did you get yourself checked up?" She eyes him, top to bottom.

"Bucky had a look."

"So, that's a no, then," she says flatly. "When was this?"

"Two days ago."

"And you're completely all right?"

"Steve?"

He forcefully zeroes his focus back on you. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Your head quirks, but you let go of it a second later.

"I asked how you were." You twirl a stirring rod around your hot chocolate, letting its warmth seep into your palms through the cup as you hold it up. “If you were holdin’ up okay.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been good," he says, lips stretched into a tight smile. “Keeping myself occupied.”

Steve purposely takes a long sip of his coffee, avoiding the furrow of your eyebrows. It makes his stomach lurch a little, and he raises his cup to his lips again to avoid thinking about it too much.

“You get any time off at all?”

“Sometimes.” Before you can question, he counters, "Do you?”

"I've had vacation days buildin' up for years now. Got nowhere to use 'em." Your eyes dart about the shop before landing on him. "Which is actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Steve peers back in question, setting the cup down.

“What if I were to ask you-” you begin casually “-if you’d wanna maybe get away for a while.”

He only waits for you to continue.

“I was thinking we could take a road trip.”

A road trip?

Steve voices exactly that.

“We’ll get a car, drive it down to wherever you wanna go. Texas, Washington-” you speak a little faster, leaning forward to take his hand in yours “-hell, even fuckin’ Florida, I don’t care. I’ll plan it out, I’ll take care of everything."

His eyes flit down your hand on his, swallowing thickly. A break. A break. The idea makes his head spin and a laugh bubble out of him incredulously. But as soon as it arrives, it dissipates, leaving in its wake hesitancy and 'I'm sorry, I don't know if I can'.

“Why?” he asks instead, to squander any outright denial.

Why? He wants to smack himself in the head. Because best friends do that. Best friends take road trips together and host dinner parties and tell each other what’s on their minds and don't hide things, life-changing things.

You cage your bottom lip between your teeth, gaze softening. “I miss you.”

Steve feels the familiar sickness in his stomach, the same pit that forms every time he walks past the framed picture of you both in the morning.

“A road trip,” he repeats, testing it out for himself.

“A month, you and me. We're not leaving tomorrow or something, don't worry. Still gotta apply for leave and take care of some stuff, it'll take a while." Your eyes brighten when he doesn't immediately shoot it down. “I’ll even let you pick the music.”

“My taste isn’t that bad," he deflects offhandedly.

You give him a half-smile in response. “What d’ya say, Stevie?”

“A month?” Steve asks again, knowing that he was about to send Mona into an absolute panic.

“Just one," you swear.

A road trip. Across a country he was named after, one that he had never seen, save for in a state of destruction and despair.

"I'll have to check," he says. "Can I let you know?"

It's like you deflate, only by a minuscule amount but he catches it.

"Of course. No pressure, okay? It was just an idea."

"I know," Steve says quickly, flipping his hand so that it covers yours instead. "I promise I'll see what I can do."

You nod, a little uncertain before a smile overtakes your face.

It isn't a no. It isn't a flat-out refusal but he knows. He’s been pulling away and this is another attempt atit.

A cruel part of his mind says that it’s easy, it makes it easier for him and you later on.

"Something to eat?" you query, settling back into your seat. "I could go for some food."

The logical part says it’s because he’s a damn coward.

__________

Day slips into night and night slips into early morning faster than he anticipates.

If he didn't sleep, he didn't have to relive it all over again and the choice, therefore, was glaringly simple.

His phone shudders to let him know there's only 15 percent of battery left. Only then, when his neck cranes to reach around for his charger does he notice the time.

4:13am.

Steve stares at the phone for a while.

The light hadn't even come in yet, but with all the blinds in his house closed, he doubts they would have.

He blinks when he feels the familiar burn in his eyes.

4:15am.

Then he's made slowly aware of the dull ache in his neck he can easily attribute to sitting in the wrong position for too long.

Did he eat dinner?

4:18am.

Steve stares at the lock screen. An urge suddenly tugs at his brain.

Change it, or change his phone, or remove the cover. Or throw it at a wall.

By the time he locks it again, it reads 4:21am.

He thinks it's good enough to get a shower in.

__________

"A road trip?"

"Yeah." Steve rubs at his eyes with the heel of his palm.

"Thought you left that life behind with your plastic dinner plate."

Steve winces at the thought of his ill-fitting velcro suit. “Shut up.”

"Suppose your metal dinner plate deserves the same honour," Bucky muses, looking down at something off-screen. "Are you getting a tour bus?"

"Just a car, m'afraid," Steve says wearily. "Maybe on the European leg."

"Tell Y/N it broke my whole heart when I didn't receive an invite in the mail for this trip."

Steve sighs. "Might wanna hold onto your tissues. I'm not even sure I'm going."

"And why the hell not?"

"I don't know." He squints when Bucky ducks out of view, leaving him open to the attack of bright daylight through the phone. "I'm not sure."

"About what?" Bucky yells to be heard from off-screen.

"Got work to do."

Steve chews on his lip, letting his eyes close for a second in the silence.

There's a loud thud, and Steve opens his eyes to Bucky dropping a stack of files on the table in front of him. Brown, some sealed and others with corners softened from overuse.

"You're avoiding it," Bucky says flatly.

Steve's eyebrows furrow, more so in indignation than anything. "I am not."

"Shut the fuck up, Rogers," his best friend of many-- almost too many, he's beginning to think-- years tells him without even thinking twice. "What's your excuse this time, huh? Back pain? Senior's night at the country club?"

"Jesus Christ, Bucky."

"When's the last time you took a vacation?" Bucky's image is clear through the phone with no pixelation whatsoever. Steve can't imagine it's the same from his end, what with the crappy WiFi and sitting in the darkness of his bedroom.

He blows out a breath. "Well, if you count th-"

"If you say the time you were frozen, I'm gonna hang up."

Steve shuts his mouth.

Bucky pauses to read something and Steve takes the opportunity to kick off the shoes he hadn't bothered removing before laying down.

Bucky peers up at the screen for a second. "D'you know where the-"

"Manila folder. Under the testimonials list," Steve completes.

He doesn't even look surprised, just nods and picks up the correct file before flipping through it.

"Have you gone through them all?"

"Should I?" Bucky asks wearily. "I mean, I lived through them, y'know."

Steve sighs, scratching his cheek, wincing when he comes across the tiny scab. "You need to go through the files, Bucky."

"I'm kidding," Bucky clarifies with a roll of his eyes. "You'd think people would cut me some slack after being imprisoned for sixty years, but no. Can't joke about torture, can't joke about forgetting what I had for breakfast."

Steve stares at him through the phone.

"It was eggs," he says slowly. "I had eggs. And juice. Orange."

The thin sheets rustle under Steve as he sits up straight. "This is why I'm not going on that trip."

Bucky drops the file he was holding with a loud scoff. "Now hold on there, Rogers. Don't you fuckin' act like you've got babysitting duty.."

It should be too early there for Bucky to be this confrontational and it was definitely too late for Steve to argue back. He makes a mental note to call him at midnight next time, but the bastard would probably be up and about then too. He wonders if Bucky ever sleeps.

"I'm not." Steve exhales. "I'm not. I'm just not going to leave you in the middle of your trial prep, Buck."

"In the middle of?" Bucky voices back incredulously. "There isn't even a trial yet and there is nothing more left to prep."

"There's gotta be more-"

"But there isn't," Bucky cuts him off. "Steve, we’ve been at this for years. We've gone through everything. Murdock's done it thrice, Nelson's done it, like, six times, bless his soul. Look at this file, Rogers. I've been through it twice since last night."

Steve's own copy of all the material sat at his desk, highlighted and annotated. The way the case was being dealt with was unusual, but the case itself was unusual. He didn't really know enough about the legal system to argue either.

"The only reason we're waiting is so that I can take some time off before we let the government know I'm here," he reminds. "Otherwise we're done, we just gotta get my ass back to the States and we're ready to go."

Steve bites the inside of his lip, out of Bucky's sight. The angle isn't very flattering. He's long given up on trying to look presentable.

"It's not right."

"Look, Steve." Bucky picks up a file again. "You've done enough. I can handle a month."

"A month and a half, maybe."

"Even better." He gives him a sly smile. "Shuri says if she has to see your dumb face moping around here anymore she's gonna get you banned from entering the country."

Steve rolls his eyes. "I don't mope."

"Sure ya don't. Gettin' sick of it m'self, gotta tell you," Bucky says blankly. "T'Challa's got all these people working on the case. Figuring out a timeline. Once we tell the authorities I'm here, I either gotta surrender myself or get extradited. Either way, I won't be back for another few months at least."

Steve says nothing.

"Go on your little road trip. Stop worrying 'bout me." Bucky shifts in his seat. "Technically I'm on vacation, too."

Steve says nothing.

"Once I'm back, you can help me move into my jail cell, how about that?"

Steve's silence only intensifies.

"You're a ray of sunshine," Bucky says. "Love how you can take a joke."

"Bucky."

"Steve," he mocks, voice low. "I've been on my own since '45. I can handle it."

Even if he doesn't mean it like that, Steve feels an ache shoot through him in embarrassment. Bucky doesn't notice; he probably didn't even realise what he said.

"Plus, it's not the stone ages. I'll call you if I need anything, but I'm tellin' you, there's nothing. You've seen all the evidence. Only thing that's left is prepping for the stand, and they're only doing it after the therapist gives them the go-ahead to start poking in there." His index finger points to his temple.

Bucky's hair had grown long enough to curl lightly at his shoulder blades. He usually kept it tied up and out of his face but it hung loose today, forcing him to push back strands that kept covering his eyes as he read. Even through the phone, Steve could tell he looked better, dark circles faded significantly.

"They'll call you too. Grill your ass 'bout how much you love me."

"I don't."

"Should be easy then," he replies breezily, leafing through a folder. “Did you know I was apparently in Paris at some point? You’d think I'd remember the tower, but no. Turns out I just got stabbed.”

“Buck,” Steve says sternly.

“Sorry, sorry.” He holds up the file. “I got shot too.”

"Bucky."

"Just go." Bucky grins. "You can come back here and look at all these fun numbers.”

Steve shakes his head, pressing the heel of his palm into his eyes. The last two times he'd been to Wakanda, he had nothing to do. He met Bucky's goats. Ate a tomato he grew (it was still a little green but Bucky was damn proud of it. Best tomato Steve’d ever eaten). The rest was the same as the last few visits.

"If you don't wanna go for some other reason-" Bucky sneaks him a glance -"then don't. But don't let it be 'cause of me. Hell, I'd join too if I wasn't across an ocean. And gotten an invite."

He thinks it’s something to consider once Bucky can walk freely.

“You’re not doing a bad thing, Rogers," Bucky adds, tone a little more gentle this time. “You’re not a bad person. Stop beating yourself up about this and just go.”

Wasn’t he? He wasn’t a good person, that’s for sure.

Who the fuck even is he anymore?

"You sure?" Steve asks warily, the unease still lapping at him.

"Get me a souvenir," Bucky says. "Bet it'd look great next to my prison bed."

___

"Captain?"

Steve's eyes snap towards the person in front of him. Dark suit, hair brushed back.

"Yes?" he asks again and ignores the feeling that he's done this before.

"I asked if you'd gotten the email for the fundraiser."

Steve's eyes glance towards his left. It's almost like Mona reads his mind because she's already halfway through pulling out a folder from an even bigger folder.

"We did," she confirms. "We'll let you know about his availability. June is a tough month."

Steve looks down at his glass of water, determined to not let it show on his face that he's got no fucking idea what she's talking about.

The water ripples as Steve lifts it, but if someone were to ask, he isn't sure he ever drank it or not.

___

Steve stares at the red on his skin, wondering where it came from. It stretches down his skin like a long, raw scar before diluting at his jaw.

God, didn't that happen yesterday? Did he cut himself again? Or--wait, was it the day before yesterday?

Where was the fucking shaving cream– why was he shaving without shaving cream?

His phone chimes with a text alert from Mona. He sees from the home screen that it's a schedule for today. It started the same as always, with her cheerful 'Good morning. Here's the plan for the day'. And usually, it could be boiled down to meeting people he couldn't stand, people he was still treading the fence about, and lunch.

When he looks up at the mirror, the red has begun to dry, forming little crusts that cracked when he opened his mouth.

Steve blinks and it's gone, and there's a wet towel on the sink.

Dinner is something. Chicken. Rice. Something healthy, there's some greens in there. He watches some sitcoms and laughs when the laugh track plays even when the joke isn't all that funny.

He eats his chicken and wonders whether 2am is too early to take a shower.

"You got any food in you or is that all you’ve been taking in all day?” He makes a mention to the cigarette that was almost halfway done.

“Jeanie managed to get us some soup. Should last us a few days if we divide it up real nice.”

“We got some extra bread.”

“Nah, Rogers.” The teen flicks the tail end of the smoke, getting rid of the extra ash. “We’ll be all right. Save that for another day.”

Steve jolts up when the familiar feeling of falling hits him. But the couch is still underneath him and the TV's moved on to another late-night rerun. The laugh track is mundane but feels like it's directed at him.

The plate clangs on the ground-- he's glad he's invested in metal ones after the first few times it happened.

He rubs his eyes, hand reaching out for his phone.

3:30am.

Steve pulls on a jacket and some well worn sneakers. It can't be too early for a run.

___

“Captain?”

Steve snaps back. “Yes?”

___

Dinner is lunch? Pasta?

No, he ate rice for lunch.

2:00am.

Why the fuck is he eating dinner at 2am?

___

“Rogers?”

“Please, it’s Steve,” he repeats, shaking hands with a polite smile.

“Steve. Thank you for the advertisement you did for us. Sales really rocketed.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Steve feels the scab on his skin. Scraped again?

___

5:20am.

Steve laughs with the laugh track.

Was this who he was? Laughing at some joke he wouldn’t be able to remember even with a gun to his head?

He shovels another soon of cereal into his mouth and discards the rest in the sink.

___

“Captain?”

“He’s not available, sorry,” Mona cuts in curtly as she walks swiftly beside him. “You can schedule a meeting with me, though.”

Steve looks at her when they round a corner. “Who was that?”

“Um–” Mona scrolls through her tablet. “Senator–”

___

“5am is not too early for a run,” he repeats to himself in assurance under his breath, tugging his shoes on.

He stops to look in the mirror and it is empty. There should be dark circles and stubble and pale skin from not seeing the light of day. His skin glows. There is hardly a line on his face.

“Shave when you get back,” he says aloud, and his voice is hoarse from hours of unuse.

He swaps out the elevator for the stairs, bounding down quietly. 5am was still early for his neighbours.

He pushes open the door to his apartment and--

It is pitch black.

Steve takes a step outside, head turned up to the sky.

It is dark, cloudy and deafeningly silent.

Steve’s eyebrows pull together.

He digs his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

2am.

He thought it was 5.

___

“Captain–”

“My opinion isn’t going to change, Senator.”

“What?”

Steve’s attention drags him back to harsh fluorescent lighting and the smell of astringent hand sanitiser.

“I said you’re free to go.” The doctor flips the pages on his clipboard. “Good as new.”

“Serum, am I right?” he tries for a joke. It’s not even funny. He feels like a sitcom.

“Miracle of science.” The doctor graces him with a smile that seems almost pitiful. “Just try to get some sunlight. Your vitamin D’s a little low, but you’re cleared.”

“Great,” he says. Cleared for what, exactly?

___

“Mona.” Steve rubs his temples.

“Coffee?”

“Please.”

___

Steve watches his food spin around in the microwave.

It goes on endlessly, for ages and ages. He's mesmerised.

It finally beeps and he yanks it out.

He takes a bite. The center is still cold.

___

“Captain–”

“Senator.”

“It’s Councilwoman,” Mona whispers from beside him.

“Councilwoman,” Steve corrects. “My apologies. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“We’ve all been there.” She smiles kindly at him. He thinks she’s one of the only people he likes. “Now about your tweets, we’d really appreciate if you didn’t go against the organization that’s been, you know–”

He thinks he doesn’t like her.

Steve’s attention returns to his phone as she rattles on about why he should lend his public support to some fucking businessman who had stakes in some place for some reason. If he tweeted against him, it was probably for good reason.

You’ve sent him a meme.

The corners of his mouth curl up slightly.

“So we believe it’s in everybody’s best interest that you–”

“No,” Steve says resolutely, gaze rising up again. “My condolences, but I don’t think I’ll be doing that. Now can we continue to more important issues?”

___

Steve tries a drama for once, instead of a comedy.

Three episodes in and he has no idea what the hell has happened so far.

He checks his phone.

12:43am.

Too early for a run.

He gets ready for a shower.

___

Steve walks out, towel around his waist and hoodie covering his chest. His hair is slicked back, still dripping water down his back.

His phone chimes with another notification.

1:40am

Steve waits for it to download, one hand on his waist.

From Y/N

(image attached)

From Y/N

Why on earth are you awake this late?

From Steve:

Could ask you the same thing. Don’t you have work tomorrow?

From Y/N:

Don’t you have an interview with CNN tomorrow?

From Steve:

Steve’s eyebrows furrow as he looks up, racking his brain to remember if he did have something lined up.

How do you know my schedule better than me?

From Y/N:

They tweeted about it, Steve

He smiles, barely listening to his dinner spin around in the microwave.

From Y/N:

Why are you up?

From Steve:

Got in late.

From Y/N:

Go to sleep

From Steve:

You first.

From Y/N:

What are you, my dad?

From Y/N:

Kidding, I’m going. Have fun in your lil interview. Give me a shoutout

From Steve:

Keep your ears peeled.

From Steve:

Goodnight.

From Y/N:

Better not see you awake after this, Rogers

Steve pulls his eyes away from his phone when the microwave beeps dramatically.

From Y/N:

Goodnight. Talk to you tomorrow ily

He pulls his food out carefully. It’s the worst looking slice of pizza he’d ever seen, but he drops it onto a plate anyway and walks toward his couch.

2:00am.

He’s seen these reruns before. Twice, actually.

Steve takes a bite. It’s stone cold.

The laugh track plays again. His lip twitches.

Steve takes another bite and swallows it down without thinking too much.

He switches the channel. Someone advertises something he doesn’t want.

He switches the channel. His face. The channel changes faster.

Steve takes a bite. Winces and chews slowly, purposefully. The channel switches.

Laugh track. Steve bites the crust. His face.

3am?

The plate’s discarded. He’s got a box of cereal. The channel switches.

Steve takes a spoonful. Advertisement.

Interview today. Fuck.

He takes a bite. Parade promo.

___

“Captain?”

“Yes?”

___

Channel switches. CNN? Who the fuck was he talking to?

Steve chews on muesli.

Laugh track.

He swallows. Advertisement. Laugh track. He laughs.

Muesli. Interview at 9.

____

Steve drags the razor over his chin.

He swishes it around in the water, and there is red that mixes with dissolving foam.

____

He checks his phone. Muesli. Steve laughs.

It’s been half an hour. It’s still 3am.

Steve chews. Advertisement.

He laughs. Muesli. He laughs. Swallows.

Laugh track. Spoonful.

____

“Captain?”

“Yes?”

___

Dry pizza.

Steve laughs.

Steve pulls on his shoes and checks the time.

___

Something suddenly flips in him. He doesn't have a name for it.

Laugh track.

___

Fuck.

___

Steve exhales, tucking his phone into his pocket before he could send a retraction.

To Y/N:

Let's do it. Road trip. I'm in.

It was done now.

He couldn't go back.

___

It hardly takes a few seconds for the notification to ring out in an empty apartment.

____

From Y/N:

Fuck yes. You won’t regret this.

As much as he wishes this trip is for you and for the two of you only, he knows it is simply one small part of it.

Steve stares down at the phone, knowing he will.

Mostly, it drags him out of he darkness and into a spotlight. There was no turning back now, he couldn’t hide it behind absence.

There is still time, though. To somehow conjure up a way to tell you about the dreams and the docks and the sun on his face. Of dog tags and disinfectant on his torn skin and toffee from corner stores.

It gives him time to tell you he’s thinking of going back to the past.

Next part

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #mcu fic #marvel fic #steve rogers fic #captain america fic

407 notes · View notes

daechwitatamic · 8 months

Note

Its been xx months maybe over a year? since you completed What Was Hidden and I still regularly wonder what Taes thoughts were when he spoke with oc on st Patricks day.

Ykw anon it will be one year in November and I freaking miss them so here you go.

Below the cut – NSFW (but not explicit so don’t come in here expecting smut lol) no minors, Taehyung’s POV of the St. Patrick’s Day party in Chapter 14 of What Was Hidden. Probably this cannot stand alone without reading the series.

Warnings include alcohol consumption, cursing, vague references to Tae’s car crash, kissing and implied sex, angst. unedited so if you see a typo lemme know.

WC: 1700

(banner by @itaeewon)

Sure of It - Tae POV # 7

“I’ll never look back and think maybe I didn’t love her.”

That’s what Taehyung had told you, months ago, before everything fell apart.

And he stands by it, even on the days he’s sure he hates you.

He was sure he hated you when your silence had let him down, was sure of it when he blocked you on insta, was sure of it when he saw you on campus and felt acid roil behind his bellybutton.

He was sure of it when you’d flirted with that idiot right in front of him, was sure of it when he’d called you a coward, was sure of it when you’d lied straight to his face and claimed you didn’t want him.

He hated you. He hates you.

He’s just waiting for time to do its thing and take the sting from it, the same way time slowly took the intensity from his flashbacks and nightmares.

He does what he can to distract himself, in the meantime. That’s what he’s doing on St. Patrick’s Day weekend – distracting himself, one shotglass at a time.

He’s never understood why his hyungs go so big for an Irish holiday – for Yoongi, he thinks it’s a bit ironic, just for a laugh. But Taehyung thinks Jin actually really likes the holiday for whatever reason, and so he finds himself in his packed living room sometime after midnight, awash in green lighting, noticing an ass in a tight green dress.

He knows that ass.

He knows that ass well.

(He misses that ass. But that might be tequila talking.)

He stands at the edge of the dancefloor, hovering between the kitchen and the stairs, and watches you dance with Bridget.

For a second, he doesn’t hate you. For a second, the slanted funhouse he’s lived in since he walked away from you rights itself, and he stands on even footing.

Then the beat changes up and your eyes meet his across the dancefloor, going wide with recognition. He clutches his sweating beer bottle tightly and watches as something hard slides over your face. You down your drink, sending the bottom of the red plastic cup skyward, and turn your back to him.

Move, Taehyung thinks to himself, move before she turns around and you’re still standing here like a fucking clown.

His feet obey, and he makes his way to the basement. He feels like it’s a good idea to be on a different floor of the house than you, if only for self-preservation.

He knows himself well enough to know that his mood is written all over his face. Seeing you unleashed all of it, as it always does. It leaves him as spinning and shattered as the sedan he’d steered into hell over a year ago.

It’s how he knows he loved you, loves you, though. Because when he sees you – whether it’s across campus or across his crowded house – the hating you gets quieter.

Everything else – the stuff he’s been distracting himself from, trying to drown out the sound of – gets louder. Like the fact that you look miserable, even when you’re laughing at something Bridget says. Like the fact that when your eyes catch his, there’s always a flash of something before you seem to shove it down. Like the fact that his heart leaps when he hears your voice, even when he knows it’s stupid. Like the fact that he loves you, loves you, even now – would do anything for you, would climb any mountain if you just said the word.

He's a world-class fool. But the heart wants what it wants, or something.

He expects it to be Jimin who clocks his mood and heads over, but somehow he finds himself standing near the pong tables and it’s Jungkook who sidles up.

“What’s wrong?” the younger man asks, and Taehyung looks at him, surprised. They’d argued less than two hours ago; Jungkook had slammed his bedroom door in Taehyung’s face.

It reminds Taehyung that their friendship existed before, and there’s hope for it still.

“She’s upstairs,” he says flatly. He knows that’s enough.

Jungkook grimaces. “You gonna talk to her? Or you gonna hide down here?”

“I’m not hiding,” Taehyung snaps, but he is and they both know it.

Jungkook shrugs, unbothered. He sips at his beer, scans the room. Taehyung waits. He’s known Jungkook long enough to know he should wait.

“You think she’s sorry?” he asks finally, and the question surprises Taehyung so much that he drops the bravado and fully turns to face his friend, eyes wide.

“Sorry about what?” he manages. He really means, sorry about which part, but he thinks Jungkook understands.

Jungkook shrugged. “Whatever happened first. If you can forgive the first transgression… the rest falls into place.”

Vocab, Taehyung thinks. Out loud, he scoffs. “Transgression. It wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that clear cut.”

His words aren’t working right.

You’d know what he meant.

Jungkook shrugs again, lazy. “I’m just saying. Maybe she’s sorry and doesn’t know how to say so.”

You had apologized, Taehyung remembers, sipping at his own drink. He’d been too mad to hear it, at the time. And then you’d gone radio silent, like he wasn’t even worth fighting for. Had looked him dead in the eyes and said, “I don’t want you.”

Were you sorry – about any of it?

The part of him that loves you whispers, of course she is.

The part of him that hates you whispers, she threw you away.

And the part of him that treads water somewhere in the middle wonders if any of it even fucking matters.

“I need some air,” he mutters, and heads for the stairs.

He wishes he could go back in time and never trip over you on these fucking stairs. Then maybe his heart wouldn’t be cracked and splintered, maybe his head wouldn’t be spinning in confused circles.

He hates you, he hates you, he hates you.

He heads for the kitchen, ducking around bodies and drinks held aloft, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

He freezes halfway across the kitchen, his gaze snagging on the window above the sink. You’re out back, alone, leaning against the railing, your head hanging towards the plastic cup you’re dangling over the railing.

He hates you, but his heart tugs.

It’s how he knows he loves you, even when he hates you. Because he can tell by your fucking shoulders that you’re not okay. Because noticing that makes his stomach hurt, makes his hands itch, makes his ribs tight.

He slips outside, closing the door gently and making his way over to you. He leans his elbow on the wood, mirroring you.

He hates you, but he loves you, so he has to check on you. He doesn’t have a choice.

“You okay?” he asks. It’s a dumb question. Neither of you are. You’re both casualties of each other.

“The fuck do you care?” you snap, and Taehyung breaks. He clutches the railing with one hand, turning to face you, every muscle quivering in his fight against his instincts, which scream hold her, hold her, hold her!

Because that? The hatred, the anger? That’s not you, and he knows it. Like looking in a mirror, Taehyung sees it for what it is: a façade, hiding the hurt. It makes him both ache for you, and furious with you.

How dare you make him want to make it better?

He doesn’t touch you, but he does say your name, just once, quietly.

He watches you take a breath, watches as you struggle to get it together. “Go inside,” you say finally. “Go have fun. I’m fine. I just wanted to cool down.”

Liar.

He steps back towards the house, and your body follows, turning so you can keep watching him. He loves you and he hates you, and they are at war inside him, and he had probably three too many shots earlier, and that dress is a sin on you and –

“I know this sucks,” he says, surprising himself. His mouth took over while his head spiraled. But he presses on. “It’s hard for me, too, you know.”

You laugh, and that’s the moment Taehyung knows how this is going to go. There’s something in your stance, in that sarcastic ha, that feels like a challenge. Like you’re daring him to cross a line, and he’s ready to leap.

“I know it’s hard for you, Taehyung,” you say, voice dripping with attitude. “I get it. I’m the bitch that broke your heart. You don’t have to remind me.”

He stares at you and wonders if anyone had let you grieve, when it ended. He wonders if there’s anyone you let inside your walls, where he used to be, to see that you aren’t fine.

He wonders if you’d let him kiss you, if he tried.

That dress is fucking with him.

“Don’t do that,” he says.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t try to make me feel bad for you when I’m angry with you.”

“Be mad then,” you snap, like you’re over it, exasperated. “Go for it. If you want to hate me, hate me.”

He does.

He could never.

He steps closer.

“That’s not what I want,” he admits, voice low.

He loves you. He’ll prove it.

Your body language shifts; he knows the green light when he sees it, he was with you long enough. “What do you want, then?” You demand it like you already know the answer.

You probably do.

He won’t look back and wonder if he loved you. He knows he does. He’s sure of it when he presses you against the deck railing and kisses you again, stomach swooping with joy. He’s sure of it when you follow him upstairs, when you cling to him and breathe his name in the dark. He’s sure of it when he falls asleep with his face buried in your neck, his arm around your waist.

And though his heart breaks impossibly, new cracks forming right beside the old, he’s sure of it even when he wakes up to find you gone, his sheets cold, the room silent and still.

It wouldn’t hurt this bad if he didn’t.

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