#Little Mermaid Jun au

[misano17]

I’ve had this idea rattling around my head for a bit:

poly Eden little mermaid au.

Jun is the little mermaid.

(Long text post ahead)

Hiyori is his bestie and potential future boyfriend lmao. He’s also one of the sea witches attendants, so ehe.

Ibara is also one of the sea witches attendants.

Nagisa is the sea witch.

There is no prince.

So Jun really doesn’t want to be a mermaid, mfer met some gamer guys by the shore one day and decided he fucking hated being a fish man. Ya know, ostracized for associating with humans, infatuated with humans culture in a society that shuns it and also eats humans, not fun for Jun.

His only real friend under the water is Hiyori. Sad for Jun tbh, really sucks buddy.

Anyways Nagisa is getting kind of jealous of this Sazanami guy that’s hanging around his Tomoe. + Hiyori hears Jun’s plight and recommends that Jun gets help from the sea witch.

This combination will not end well for Jun.

So Jun goes to sea(haha) the witch.

(Nagisa and Ibara discuss their little evil scheme beforehand, without Hiyori cuz lying and keeping stuff from your partners is really cool guys I swear.)

Nagisa hides his form from Jun during their deal cuz it factors into his evil little scheme.

Anyways the deal is that Jun must find his true love in three months and get them to kiss him before his time is up, or he will turn to sea foam. Not looking good for a guy that plays league. True love for a gamer, haha, very funny Nagisa. It would have been more merciful to just rip his pancreas out and turn it into mince meat.

(Also no mermaid form for him during this time, once he surfaces he will lose his tail and his ability to breath underwater)

Jun surfaces by the beach house his gamer friends have been chilling in and calls out to them. Natsume, Sora, and Makoto are pretty fucking psyched to be able to let Jun play on a home console now instead of a handheld. (RIP to the Xbox they managed to drag onto that beach with 18 extension cords and a small television, it fucking rained about five minutes after and that bitch got fried)

Also Jun has one of those Barbie movie necklaces, it has like three pearls on it. The pearls are each a different color, one’s white, one’s light green, and the other is magenta. HUH I WONDER WHAT THOSE COLORS MEAN. Jun just thinks it’s an ugly necklace <//3 but when he tries to take it off it feels like lightning is shooting through his extremities and his nerves are being put in a tub of boiling water, so he leaves it on. His gamer friends think it’s a countdown cuz like “Oh, three months”. Natsume thinks otherwise.

Natsume is so fucking smart. Love him for that.

Anyways Jun doesn’t really know how to look for his soulmate or whatever so he just doesn’t <//3 he legit goes “Well, living up here with my real friends for three months is better than living down there miserable for the next seventy years, so I’d rather die here with you guys.” And his friends are understandably sad about this but they accept his words.

Hiyori, who was listening from the little porch next to the beach house cuz ehe, this house is on the goddamn water front, gets real fucking pissed, cuz like “excuse me, real friends?” And “Wait, did Jun just say he is going to die? That is not the deal Nagisa and I agreed to give him, I will not stand for this.”

So he calls out to Jun when his gamer friends leave the house for the day (The house is like their queer little man cave and summer hangout spot but it’s got a kitchen and a few bedrooms so they let Jun crash there.)

As soon as he has Jun alone he is fucking pouncing.

Mfer gives himself legs and struts right up to Jun, who is just trying to enjoy a nice dinner of, whatever it is that Sora left for him. (Hiyori is a sea witches attendant so he has a bit of magic, just enough to change his own form)

Anyways they have a talk and Hiyori really doesn’t get anywhere but they do agree to keep hanging out for Jun’s last three months even though Hiyori is super pissed about it.

After they hang out and Hiyori tries human foods and decides he fucking hates them they share a tender moment and Jun comes to a few realizations about where his soulmate might be but decides not to voice it, Hiyori goes back to the sea.

Nagisa is in for the verbal berating of his life. Holy fucking shit.

After Hiyori’s trounces Nagisa’s evil plan in the market place of ideas (He convinces no one, least of all Nagisa to stop his plan and instead spurs Nagisa on to send Ibara to drive a wedge between Hiyori and Jun)

So, this does not go and Nagisa intended.

First of all Ibara’s meddling doesn’t work.

Hiyori and Jun end up kissing after Jun shows Hiyori around the human town and Jun jokes that this is like a date, and Hiyori decides now would be a great time to see how kissing another man feels when there isn’t water between his lips. The green pearl starts glowing.

Jun is like, “wait, holy shit, does this mean I’m a full human now, I got my true loves kiss :):)”

So Hiyori uses his magic to check, and “Oh, uhm, you’re still a mermaid.”

“What?”

“The seal isn’t complete, you have more than one soulmate.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Jun is not pleased.

Ibara does not know all of this.

So Hiyori kind of sort of tricks him into thinking that Jun hasn’t received a kiss yet, and makes Ibara act rashly, cuz Hiyori knows that Ibara takes any information he is given and formulates plans off of it.

So Hiyori uses the fact that he seems possessive to make it seem like he’d be really upset if someone else kissed Jun or stole his first kiss.

Ibara ends up spending time with Jun to try and make the whole thing seem realistic cuz he’s gonna “Steal Jun from his true love and make him lose the deal”

Bitch catches feelings, Jun also catches feelings, two of the pearls are now glowing.

Jun has two boyfriends now, and so does Hiyori, and so does Ibara. Their communication is on point.

Anyways, Nagisa gets involved.

I’ll continue this more later, I’ve already got all of it in my head I just need to get other stuff done tonight.

[hayateart]

Now I have a Mermaid Moshang Au going around in my head.

So, let's say, Airplane still wrote a book, but it was about mermaids, and the main protagonist, Luo Binghe was half merman, half human. With the exception that mermaids are the obvious good guys, so the sects and cultivarors are the mermaids, and the demons are humans, with demon lords being researchers.

Rest is under the cut, because what I wrote could be a fic on its own.

Airplane dies and becomes a merman Qinghua. He saves young teenage Mobei Jun, Little Mermaid style, and falls in love instantly. However, he knows they cannot be around each other, so he leaves Mobei safe on shore.

Years later, Mobei becomes a scientist researching oceanic life, all in search for a merman he is not sure is even real. Maybe he has only dreamt about him.

Since he is so accomplished and clearly inclined to believe in the existence of aquatic mythological creatures, he gets a job in secret research facility where they already research real life mermaid.

And this is where my angst love popped in.

Mermaids cannot speak human language. They communicate in chirps and screeches like dolphins. Their teeth are sharp, their eyes alien. They are treated at best as objects, at worst as potential threat that needs to be researched, studied, cut open to see how it works and how best to kill it.

Mobei cannot let others know he has sympathy for these creatures or else he would be banned from research. He finds a kindred spirit in one of the research leads, Shen Qinqiu, who appears to be the most ruthless person he ever met but is surprisingly gentle with the creatures they handle, and proposes that maybe, just maybe they are not malicious at all. No more than people, at least.

[I needed Cucumber to be human for this one, for better BingQiu purposed. In the original novel that Airplane wrote, Shen Qingqiu was the most heartless of the scientists, doing research on a captured, teenage protagonist. His abuse caused the young merman's ancient powers to awaken. He learned how to control water Aquaman-style, how to speak the human language and thanks to his ancient magic - his father was half water-dragon - how to change shape to appear human. But that is all irrelevant, because Shen Yuan does not want to capture and operate on Binghe at all.]

However, as it happens, the plot must make its appearance.

Shang Qinghua was careful. Was very, very careful, He never had OOC function to unlock because he has always been Shang Qinhua. So he thought, he can avoid original Shang Qinghua's fate which was being captured by humans, implanted with a tracking, which led the humans to his colony, and to Binghe. He as so careful! But the system tricked him, and Qinghua gets captured anyway.

He is panicking. This is the worst! He will be experimented on, forced to out his kin, or, if he is lucky enough, just killed. What sort of world he wrote?! What sort of fate he created for himself!

He deserves it, of course. He wrote mermaids to be peaceful, hunted, tortured and killed. Of course, he deserves it for condemning an entire race. At least, he gets to see his favourite creation one last time. Because, Mobei Jun is here.

In the original story, Mobei blamed mermaids for the sinking of the ship, from which Qinghua saved him in this storyline. He did not become a researcher but a whale hunter with a penchant for mermaids. Only meeting Luo Binghe changed him, and he became the fiercest fighter for mermaid cause afterwards.

Qinghua is sure Mobei is there for revenge. Mobei recognizes Qinghua but he needs to keep up appearances. However, Shen Qingqiu recognizes the character of Shang Qinghua as well. He knows how the story goes. Qinghua is 'researched' and then let go with a tracked. He cannot let that happen but the other scientist would be suspicious if he was kind to a merman. Instead he proposed to kill him, and research the body - in his mind, it would be a mercy killing, after all.

Mobei keeps his cool, but underneath, he is boiling with rage. On one hand, he sees the kindness in Shen QingQiu's decision. He sees the mermaids in their tanks every day. How sick they are, how empty and unhappy. It would be a mercy killing. On the other, that us the marman that saved him all these years ago. In a small tank, terrified and crying, and shaking, and begging them with his eyes only to please, please, don't hurt him. Just let him go, please.

Mobei suggests waiting with the decision to the next day. Clearly, they caught only a runt, a shrimp. it is weak and won't do much for research but maybe it is more valuable alive. They should consider their options. In reality, he plans to free Qinghua over night, when nobody is watching.

He is not the only one with the same idea. Cucumber gets to Qinghua first. Under the assumption that mermaid cannot understand human language - they could not in the book - he breaks Qinghua out cursing all the while - at stupid plots, at stupid authors and at pointless characters who turn out to be so much bother!

Except, Qinghua understands him. Of course he does! He is the author. He gets Cucumber's attentions, drawing characters with water on his coat. Cucumber at first thinks nothing of it, until he notices the pattern. It is the title of the novel!

Cucumber immediately understands that Qinghua is a transmigrator, just like himself! He gets him paper and pen and they communicate.

And then Mobei Jun steps in. Qinghua and Qingqiu are caught red handed. Qinghua is panicked at his sight. In a desperate attempt to save himself, he grabs the pen and Cucumber, and holds him as a hostage, pressing the pointy end of the pen to the other's neck.

It would be terrifying if it weren't so sad. Qinghua cannot hold himself up out of the water very well. He is shaking from fear and his hold is lose - if Qingqiu wanted to break out, he could with no problem. It is clear that Qingqiu is shielding the merman.

There isn't much that Mobei can do except lift his hands in a peaceful manner and promise:

"I want to help. Please, let me."

TBC? Maybe?

[icejello]

Anyways svsss au idea but it's The Little Mermaid, it's not gonna follow the original story per se. Who's the little mermaid? Luo Binghe ofc, he's been BEGGING his dad (yes it's tianlang-jun) to let him go up to the human world but his dad said noooo bcs humans are dangerous (is it bcs binghe's mom was actually human and they killed her with the reasoning that she betrayed humanity by being with mermaids? Um sorry Su Xiyan but you will have to be dead in this one).

It's not like life is that dull for little binghe, there's his older cousin zuzhi-lang and there's also his friends mobei-jun and sha hualing but none of them seems that interested in exploring the human world and he's just so CURIOUS.

And on his 17th bday he practically begged his father to just let him take a peek and he promises he won't go alone, he'll bring his friends and his cousin can join too for extra measure! Surely it won't be that dangerous, right? Tlj finally gave in but on the one condition that binghe must NOT interact with any of the humans.

Binghe is thrilled! He went up and the sun was just setting and the sky was such a beautiful color. And then he noticed the ship. It was majestic, huge, he's seen wreckage of them on the sea bed but he NEVER saw them actually sailing on water and he was awed. He didn't expect a more breath taking sight could ever appear in that same moment but it happened and he saw a young man standing on the ship. He was beautiful with a smile on his lips as he stared out into the ocean.

But then disaster strikes! A sudden storm appeared and the ship somehow got damaged. There was yelling everywhere and binghe wanted to swim over and help but his cousin held him back bcs he promised his father he would not interact with the humans. But then he saw the pretty man fall from the boat and he ignored everything else to go and save that stranger. He managed to save the man and laid him at the beach where he hoped someone would find him.

Zuzhi-lang immediately dragged all of them back as soon as binghe was satisfied that the human would be safe. He didn't hesitate to report it to his uncle and his father got angry (he was worried). Binghe argued that it wasn't just him! He saw mobei save a man too! But mobei never made any promise to not interact with a human so that excuse did not work.

As soon as he could get away, he immediately went to the beach where he had left the man but he wasn't there! Binghe was stressed, did something happened to him? He was tempted to go on land to check it out but someone pulled him back and he's surprised to see mobei glaring at him. His friend asked him what he's thinking and binghe admitted he was worried about the man that he had saved. After having to watch binghe continuing to look increasingly and obviously nervous, mobei could not stand it anymore and asks him why he didn't just use his power to disguise himself as a human.

This surprised little binghe ofc bcs what? Power to disguise himself as human? That's the first he's heard of it. Mobei just explains how the mermaids from the royal blood line all have a special power to turn themselves into human but it doesn't last long and they need to always return to the sea or they would turn to a sea foam and that the disguise can easily be ruined if they come in touch with water bcs scales would show up.

Binghe is intrigued, he's curious, he's excited, he's nervous. He begged mobei to teach him and he only agreed to it after binghe would not shut up about it the whole way back. Now binghe is a great learner, it didn't take him long to learn it and the next day he immediately went up to look for the pretty stranger. Mobei-jun pointed out to him a spot where some clothes are hidden bcs as mbj said "he can't walk around naked" and binghe has no idea how mbj knew about those hidden stash of clothes but he didn't question it bcs there are more important things at hand!

Walking with legs felt weird ofc, this was a first for him. He struggled and practiced to find his balance and when he was confident enough, he went deeper into the land to look for the stranger. It wasn't long before he reached a city and he was mesmerized. The buildings looks nothing like what he's ever seen in the sea, there's so many ppl walking around, he sees little children running around playing, there are writings that he's never seen of and he momentarily forgot what he was there for. Binghe reminded himself that he's there for a mission and he shouldn't stay there too long.

He walked around, he didn't know where to start, there's so many ppl and it's such a big place, where does he even start with? But then he passed by a group of ladies and they were talking about how handsome the young man they just passed is. Binghe didn't question it and immediately ran towards the direction the ladies came from. He almost ran pass but stopped dead in his track when he finally caught sight of the pretty stranger sitting under a tree. He had a slightly annoyed look on his face and had a small frown as he listened to the young man sitting beside him ramble on.

Binghe watched, rooted in spot, as the stranger lightly smacked the other guy with a hand fan. He heard the guy call him something that sounded like "cucumber-bro" and the only thing he could think of was the sea cucumbers. Binghe must've made a sound in confusion because the both of them suddenly turned to look at him. It caught him off guard and he immediately turned to run away when he saw the pretty stranger opened his mouth to say something but instead he ran into another young man and fell down. The young man glared down at him and he heard the pretty man tell him to leave him alone. Binghe felt like his voice is as lovely as his face.

Binghe ran away as fast as he could but he managed to hear something about that newly arrived young man as the pretty man's fiance. It didn't make that much sense to binghe, they didn't look like they were a couple if anything it seemed like there's an air of awkwardness between them! That was when he passed by a few ppl talking about how lucky it is for Liu Qingge to save a pretty man like Shen Yuan and immediately got his hand in marriage as a reward. Someone interjected that Shen Yuan is the lucky one bcs Liu Qingge is obviously a very beautiful guy with great fighting skills. Now little binghe did not know who those people who was mentioned were but he could sense they were talking about the pretty stranger and that guy he ran into! Personally, binghe thinks that whoever marries Shen Yuan is obviously the lucky one, it's not like that guy Liu Qingge looks THAT good! But there were more important details from the conversation that he just heard! Lqg is marrying Shen Yuan bcs he saved him but he didn't! It was Binghe that saved the pretty guy! So if anything, it should be HIM that marries the pretty guy!

Binghe realized it was late and went back to the sea feeling annoyed. How could someone just CLAIM they did something they didn't?! He knew his father would be anxious at him disappearing for so long and would be angry if he knew where he actually was but now is not the time! Binghe escaped to the land every chance he can and sometimes he would find Shen Yuan there at the tree again but sometimes he would have to go home with nothing. Binghe ranted and complained to his friends. How is that fair? It was him that saved Shen Yuan why does someone else get to be rewarded for it! They're tired of his whining about someone else marrying his little crush and shl accidentally suggested that binghe goes visit the sea witch.

Binghe didn't understand, he's heard of the sea witch but he doesn't need powers to be able to turn himself into human. But when he heard about how he could try asking the sea witch for a spell that would let him stay longer on land without water ruining his disguise, he was determined. Mbj glared at shl for that suggestion and she realized her mistake when she saw the determined look on binghe's face. Luo Binghe is a prince and the only child of tlj, what would happen if he found out that they told his son to go make a deal with the sea witch? He would kill them! They tried to change his mind but he would no longer listen to them, he was set on being able to tell Shen Yuan the truth.

A deal comes with a price and binghe lost his ability to talk bcs of it. He's not mute, he's just no longer able to talk unless he gets true love's kiss. He rushes to land and as luck would have it, ran head first into Shen Yuan. He was kind enough to help little binghe up and he immediately recognized him as the boy that's always watching him but would immediately run away if he was spotted. Shen Yuan tried to ask him for his name but lbh despaired when he realized that he could not tell him. Shen Yuan thought Binghe was an orphan because he didn't respond when he asked about where he lives despite seemingly able to understand him.

Shen Yuan took Binghe under his wings and realized hey, this kid seems to not know that many things. He didn't seem to understand a lot of things at the house, even the most basic and simplest things. Shen Yuan tutors teens and kids in his spare time, either teaching them academics or some self defense skill, so it didn't bother him to have another new boy to teach. Though it seemed like the boy is not able to speak, he does learn quickly and it wasn't long before he was able to tell Shen Yuan who his name is through writing. Shen Yuan enjoys the times he spent with his new disciple, he seemed to get along well with the other 2 older kids that often gets tutored by Shen Yuan too. Actually, Luo Binghe seemed to get along with everyone just fine except for one person, Liu Qingge.

Shen Yuan's parents keeps pushing him to set the wedding date but he keeps pushing it back bcs he wasn't ready. He was grateful ofc that Liu Qingge saved him but it wasn't him that decided to get married as a reward! That was his parents! And some things doesn't make sense to Shen Yuan, Lqg claimed to only found him at the beach, he denies being the one to save him but if that was the truth then who saved him? But his parents took it as lqg only being modest and now they're both stuck in this engagement. Still, as stressing as everything is, binghe felt like a breath of fresh air to him. Truly, he never met a guy like that, he doesn't seem to understand a lot of things when he first arrived but he didn't seem dumb.

How long would it take little binghe to finally reveal the truth to shen yuan? Will he ever confess? Will Shen Yuan reciprocate his feelings? Well that will all be revealed if i actually do write this.

[yandere-writer-momo]

Been thinking of Fairy Tale AU…

Jack as the big bad wolf (Little Red Riding Hood)

Reader as Red Riding Hood (adult)

Hanayama Kaoru as the Beast (Beauty and the Beast)

Reader as Beauty

Katsumi Orochi as Prince Charming

Reader as Cinderella

Kureha as Prince Phillip (Sleeping beauty)

Reader as Sleeping Beauty

Baki as Flynn Rider (Rapunzel)

Reader as Rapunzel

Yujiro as the evil wizard

Retsu as Li Shang (Mulan)

Reader as Mulan

Katou as Aladdin

Reader as Princess Jasmine

Hector Doyle as the ‘evil queen’ (Snow White)

Reader as Snow White

Sikorsky as the Snow Queen (Snow Queen)

Reader as Kay

Gaia as Gerda

Jun Guevara as the sea witch (little mermaid)

Reader as the little mermaid

Or

Jun as Captain Hook (Peter Pan)

Reader as Wendy

……………………..

Courtesy of @fangurlzrul3

Jack could also be the beast

[barclaysangel]

The Birth of Jun (transfem Juniper Wheeler AU)

I literally wrote this within about 5 hours, which is crazy. I lost sleep just to finish this to make sure it’ll be posted by morning. I’m still nervous to post it since this is my first time writing for this AU and I just hope y’all like it. If you guys do, then MAYBE I’ll write a second part where Jun gets the name Juniper. Maybe.

Anyway, this is setting in the Final Family/Chucky season 2 rewrite AU where Jun survives and lives with Andy in the middle of the woods, torturing and killing Chuckys together. Because canon does not exist to me, obviously. I’ve written drabbles/oneshots about this AU before and this is just another one but with transfem Juniper.

If you guys really do like this, pls leave comments, it insanely fuels my motivation! I thrive off it and I’ll also appreciate some feedback since this is my first time writing a trans character.

Thank you and enjoy :)

Tags: @the-carlos-cow-eyes @erasedmystic111 @streets-in-paradise

Word count: 2.5K

Warnings: Internalized transphobia, mentions of suicidal ideation, cursing

There was something wrong with Junior. 

That much she had always known, ever since she could remember. She wanted to be a princess, not a prince. A mermaid, not a merman. She wanted to be something that she could never be. 

But Junior hid it for so long, and she hid it well. She buried that part of herself so deep down that no one would ever suspect it growing up. She became the perfect “masculine, traditional son” that her father wanted. She destroyed every single part of herself and burnt it all to the ground just to please him. 

And even though she killed her own father, she still would have done it all over again. 

Gods, she was pathetic. Pathetic and stupid and dirty and broken. 

Despite Junior’s efforts to hide her dirty little secret from the world, she still had moments where it would bubble and come up again. The dysphoria with her short hair, flat chest, and other features that just didn’t feel right. It would be bad enough at times where she wanted to curl into a ball and cry all the fucking time. 

But she would have no choice but to pull herself together and keep up the act, just like she always did. 

However, this moment wasn’t like the other moments with her father. It wasn’t him she had to worry about, but Andy. 

Andy wasn’t like her father at all. He was patient, understanding, and kind. Her father would be ashamed if Junior ever cried in front of him and tell him to “Stop being a pussy and pull yourself together, you’re a man!”, but Andy would hold her in his arms and comfort her. He had been there through every mental breakdown, depressive episodes, nightmares, moments of self-destructive tendencies, all of it. 

Andy stayed right by her side and never budged despite how much Junior tried to push him away. She pushed and pushed and pushed but he never stayed away through it all. 

Junior wasn’t used to that. When she pushed people away and burned bridges to the ground, it stayed that way. Just look at her relationship with Jake. But Andy refused to be pushed away and has made it very clear to her that he wasn’t planning to go anywhere. 

Yet that still didn’t reassure her for some reason. It still filled her with so much fear if Andy ever looked too hard and realized just how broken and defective she really was. 

So once again, Junior hid it. She hid her secret under lock and key and made sure to keep her masculine act on display. 

But then the dysphoric moment hit hard, harder than before, and she wanted to die. 

Junior didn’t want to leave her cot. Her appetite was long gone. She just tried to bury herself deep into her blankets and hoped that one of the Chuckys she and Andy had been torturing could escape and stab her to death, finally finishing his job that he failed to do months ago. 

Andy had been no stranger to her being depressed. They had been staying at that small cabin for almost 5 months, it was now the beginning of April. Sometimes he would give Junior some space if she truly needed it but most of the time, he would be there to offer her food and water and just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. He hardly left her alone when she got like this. 

She didn’t blame him. Andy was probably worried that she would take one of his guns and end it all. 

Not like that idea wasn’t tempting. 

But right now, Junior wanted to be alone. She wanted to forget that the weather was getting warmer, which would make her have to ditch the hoodies and reveal the parts of herself that she hated. She just couldn’t bear to go through this, she would much rather hide away for hours or even days. Just as long as she would feel just slightly normal again. 

However, she never really was that lucky. 

“Junior?” She heard after the three light knocks, shuddering deeply and tearing up from the sound of her own name, like something about it was just wrong. “Can I come in?”

Curse Andy for respecting her privacy and boundaries. Logan would just barge in without a warning. Despite everything she was feeling, she still managed a small “Uh huh…” to placate him since she knew he would just be more worried if she refused. 

Andy opened the door slowly and she could smell why. Even without moving from her position under the blankets, she could smell the food that Andy was bringing in. When he stood beside her cot, Junior lowered the blankets enough to see the plate of scrambled eggs and toast in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Normally that would make her mouth water but this time, it made her stomach churn. 

“I know you may not feel like eating right now, but I can’t let you go the whole day without something in your system. Can you try to eat something please?” Andy spoke gently to her, placing the plate and the mug on the floor beside the cot. 

Junior merely shook her head slightly. “I’ll eat later. ‘M not hungry.” She mumbled before putting the pillow from under her head now on top of her face. 

Andy sighed quietly but instead of leaving, he sat down on the edge of the cot. “Kid, I can’t let you starve. I’m not asking you to finish off the plate, but just have a few bites with your coffee. Please?” 

She didn’t say anything this time, her silence was enough of an answer. 

“Junior, c’mon,” She shivered and squeezed her eyes shut when Andy said her name again, “I know you’re not in the mood but you’re gonna just make yourself feel worse. Remember what happened a few weeks ago?” 

She wished she couldn’t. Going nearly the entire day without eating only to almost binge afterwards, resulting in her throwing her guts up. But Andy was with her the whole time, rubbing her back and keeping an arm around her so she would stay supported rather than to fall face first into her own vomit from exhaustion along with cleaning her up afterwards once she was finished hurling and crying. 

No matter what, Andy stayed with her through everything. 

Imagine if he found out you thought you were a girl, Junior thought bitterly to herself, He’d despise you and leave you then without a doubt. 

She stiffened briefly when she felt a hand on her ankle from over the blankets before recognizing Andy’s touch, relaxing just slightly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Junior quickly shook her head from under the pillow. She couldn’t, she absolutely couldn’t. For the first time, she didn’t want to ruin something good. She already felt like she was one wrong move from spilling it all. 

She just needed to keep her mouth shut and hold it all in. She could do it, she’s been doing it her entire life. She can keep going. 

Andy gave her a gentle and reassuring squeeze to her ankle. “Okay. I just want you to know that I’m here if you do want to talk. I don’t need to talk, I can just listen to as much as you need me to. Alright, Junior?” 

Junior winced and wasn’t able to swallow down the whimper this time, which immediately got Andy’s attention. 

“Hey, kiddo, what’s wrong?” She couldn’t see his face but she knew that he would be wearing that concerned frown, the one where he genuinely acted worried for her. 

Junior shook her head again, keeping her eyes closed because she knew she would break down and cry. Andy needed to leave now before she would completely lose her mind. 

The hand on her ankle moved to her back, rubbing small circles there to comfort her. “Junior?” 

“Stop…” 

Andy paused from his motions. “What?” 

“Stop…calling me that!” Junior didn’t know why but it was like something shattered inside of her, like the dam in her finally broke. 

She ripped the pillow off of her head and bolted upright, the suddenness making Andy back up slightly. “I have tried so fucking hard to be Junior! To be the perfect son Junior. The cross-country star Junior. The strong and masculine Junior. I have ripped myself to shreds and molded myself to be what everyone else wanted me to be! But for what? It’s not fucking worth it because I’m not! I’m not Junior! I’m not a boy! I’ve tried so fucking hard but I’m not, I just keep trying and trying but nothing fucking works anymore! I’m so sorry but that isn’t me, this fucking isn’t me! I’m too broken and fucked up to be Junior and to be a fucking boy!” 

Junior didn’t realize she was screaming until she finally stopped, her voice hoarse. And no one said a word. Andy stared at her with wide eyes and an unreadable expression as reality slowly settled in. 

Oh fuck…what did I just do?

She started shaking, her breathing picked up and she hid her face in her hands, sobbing. “I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean it, I was l-lying, I-I-I…” for some reason, now she couldn’t even get the words out after everything from how hard she was hyperventilating. 

Congratulations, you fucking idiot. You really did it now. You ruined it. Now Andy will think you’re disgusting. He’ll hate you. He’ll throw you out and finally leave you alone, just like you deserve, you pathetic piece of sh–

Andy’s hands went around Junior’s body, pulling her closer to him carefully until her cheek was pressed to the crook of his neck, one hand now rubbing her back up and down soothingly. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, breathe. Take some deep breaths, kiddo. Just follow my breathing, okay? Breathe…” 

She was shaking through her sobs, her hands clinging onto Andy’s shirt tightly in her fists. His other hand went up to cradle the back of her head so softly as if she was something gentle and precious to him. Junior could hardly breathe but Andy kept guiding her, speaking to her kindly until she was able to finally pull in deep breaths with his help. 

They barely spoke, with Junior crying and Andy whispering reassurances to her. When she started to calm down, she didn’t move, she felt too mortified. It felt like one wrong move, and Andy would finally turn her away. 

“Kiddo?” He finally spoke, “Do you remember what I’ve always told you? About what I want for you?” 

Junior sniffled, still crying but not nearly as badly while holding onto Andy’s shirt still for dear life. “For…for me t-to be a kid…” 

“Yeah, that too. But what else?” 

She thought about it longer this time, hesitating. “…that you-you want me to be h-happy…” 

Andy moved away just slightly, making her whimper again but instead he adjusted himself to fully face Junior and hold her face in his hands. “Exactly. I care about you, kid. I’ve had since the moment you basically passed out on my doorstep. All I want is for you to be happy. And if being a boy doesn’t make you happy…then stop trying. Stop putting yourself through that pain, okay? Just…just be yourself.” 

He was looking at her so seriously yet so gently, as if all that mattered in that moment was her. Unshed tears began building up again in her eyes and Andy continued speaking. “I mean it. I will never judge you for who you are. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere just because you aren’t a boy. I swear on the River Styx.” 

That oath meant more to Junior than any other sort of promise. It was an oath from Percy Jackson, and really any kind of Greek mythology. They both knew how serious that oath was. And for that reason, it was what gave her the push that she needed to finally come out. 

“Andy…I…I’m a girl…” her voice was tiny but it was still enough for Andy to hear, starting to cry again but he pulled her back into a hug. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you…” He reassured her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I’m so fucking proud of you, kiddo. I promise I am. I know this wasn’t easy for you, I can’t even begin to imagine how long you’ve felt like this but never said anything. So thank you for telling me. I’m proud of you.” 

Junior cried a little harder at that, still not entirely used to having someone tell her that they were proud of her. But this time, the tears were more of relief and she just completely leaned against him. 

Never in her life did she ever think she’d actually come out and tell someone this secret. She just thought she had to fight the feeling down further and further until it disappeared or it just ended up killing her. 

But no. She lost it and everything spilled out. But…it didn’t end up badly like she thought it would. 

Andy accepted her. He accepted her without another thought. Strong and tough and badass Andy accepted her and told her that he was proud of her for coming out. 

This felt almost like a dream, something too good to be true for Junior. 

“So…I suppose you don’t want to be called by that name anymore, right?” Andy asked and she nodded in response, gripping onto his shirt again. “Okay. Is there…another name I can call you? It doesn’t need to be your permanent name, it could be like a…placeholder. Just something temporary until you can figure out a name that makes you feel like you.” 

She didn’t say anything for a moment, thinking long and hard before settling on something simple. “Maybe just…Jun. For now. Jun. Without an E at the end.” 

Andy nodded and lightly leaned his cheek to her head. “Jun without an E at the end, got it.” 

Jun could practically hear the smile on Andy’s face and lazily hit his side with the back of her hand. “You’re a dork…” 

“Yeah, yeah I am. But so are you, so…” Andy poked Jun’s side, making her giggle before she yawned, her dysphoric episode and breakdown now tuckering her out. 

“You tired, kiddo?” He asked and she yawned again while nodding, not moving from her position. 

“Can I just…stay here? For a bit? Please?” Jun asked quietly and almost immediately, his hand went up to her hair and stroked her hair softly, causing her to close her eyes. 

“Sure you can. And I’ll stay right here with you too. But as soon as you wake up and get hydrated, you need to eat, okay?” Andy told her, accepting his fate to have Jun fall asleep on his shoulder. 

She nodded, yawning once more as a sense of pure peace and bliss filled her. She knew she was safe now. Nothing would happen to her. 

“Thank you Andy…” Jun murmured under her breath. 

Just before she could drift off, she felt Andy kiss her forehead, one hand playing with her hair and the other being secured around her body. “Anytime. Goodnight, Jun.” 

[kazemiya]

Hi! I love your writing so so much hehe🥰🥰🥰

Can I request for a mermaid!Nagisa and fisher!reader? I had this huge brain rot during lunch abt Nagisa as a mermaid and my mind won’t stop thinking about it🫠

P.S. can I be known as 🌈 anon hehehe

★彡 mermaid!Nagisa and fisher!reader

a/n: OMG UR REQUEST it’s so creative!! Thanks for saying u like my writing! Also I feel like this was so bad after reading this like this is my first au (?) fic so i have no idea how good this will turn out but this request is rlly rlly cool. Also ofc u can be 🌈 anon!

Nagisa rests his arms and head on the rock facing the bustling village. Observing the many merchants carry large boxes of produce to sell. However, the main reason why he was there was to see a certain human, more specifically a fisher, he was ever curious to know more about them.

Today was special, he was going to finally get to know more about this fisher. So, at the crack of dawn, Nagisa swam to the shallow waters near the shore.

Upon your arrival, he stuck his head slightly out of the water, mumbling a little hello.

“HUH??” you shriek, taking a double take. A man in the water? Looking closer, you saw the shimmering tail that flapped slowly in the water. So a merman…

Noticing your alarm, he raised one of his arms and attempted to explain himself. “You see, I recently came to the surface of the water to observe human behaviours. And you seem approachable (and rlly pretty)”.

Slightly calming down after hearing his explanation, you asked “what’s your name? What do you want to know, I’ll try my best to answer” sitting down on one of rocks along the shoreline.

Nagisa thought hard for a conversation topic, playing with the ends of his long, silvery hair. Finally, he answered “my name is Nagisa Ran, and you can start by telling me… what do humans do at that village over there?” He was pointing at the crowds of people amongst the many stalls.

“Oh! That’s the wet market, many people go there to buy food and today is Sunday, so it’s especially busy today!” Trying your best to explain. Now you were curious, who was this merman, you didn’t even know they existed until today!

You asked him about himself and he replied “oh there isn’t much to know, in fact its quite boring down there in the ocean. The only thing interesting is hearing the silly squabbles between my friends.”

Giggling, you continued to ask more questions and vice versa. The conversation continued on, nevermind that it wasn’t on the topic of mermaids or humans, until you heard the incoming footsteps from the village. Other fishers were coming!

You quickly ended the conversation and whispered in his ear “until tomorrow, I’ll meet you here, same timing”.

He nodded and swiftly ducked down back under the surface of the water. On the way down deeper into the sea, he anticipated the next meeting, not even noticing the light dust of pink on his cheeks. Who knows why he left the surface knowing more about you than humans in general.

Everyday, he returns with small little trinkets. Usually a little sea shell, shimmering with it magnificent colours or a rock that he found at the bottom of the ocean.

You bring him little snacks from the wet market! “So you’re telling me that this packet of seaweed biscuits is the same as this slimy, wet thing?” “Yup!”

He talks about his friends a lot. U practically know everything about them, without having to meet them. About the a green haired, bright and social Hiyori, the ever polite Jun and the incredibly sly Ibara. Little do you know, he talks a lot about you to them too!

Please get this man a comb. The first time you wanted to comb his hair, he gave you a literal fork that was thrown into the ocean. Or if you prefer you could just use your fingers?

Soon the questions that he asks you start to morph into “do you think my tail looks good today?” “Do you like anyone from the village?” It’s quite obvious he caught a crush.

“ would you be opposed to loving someone? Like romantically?” He asks out of the blue. You shake your head at his question.

Hesitating slightly, “how about me?” To be honest, you were stumped when he asked that question. You both knew a long time ago, that this need to have a daily talk could no longer hide under the guise of “curiosity to know about human behaviours”.

Plastering a kiss on his wet forehead, you muttered, “I’m not opposed to it. But for now, I’ll come daily to see you and I hope you will too!”

[airplane69]

collection of threadfics

these are not thoroughly tagged and mostly dead dove, pls be careful

basically none of these are finished ❤️

[cwn/multi] Chu Wanning poisons himself with fuck me poison

[ranwan] mermaid au with 2.0 Mo Ran

[ranwan, arguably one sided] fluffy little stalking thing

[ranwan] job interviewer Chu Wanning sees a nsfw message sent to Mo Ran

[bingqiu] short somno

[ranwan] vibes based horror where Chu Wanning lives in the walls of Mo Ran's new house

[ranwan] gymnast Chu Wanning goes to get laser hair removal and Mo Ran is his clinician

[ranwan][extremely dead dove, hard noncon] Taxian-Jun lands further back in the timeline than in canon, still in his original body. He runs into a young Chu Wanning and takes advantage

[cwn/multi][hard noncon] Chu Wanning chikan, ranwan endgame

[ranwan] Chu Wanning has a twitter, Mo Ran sends unsolicited dick pics

[moshangbingqiu] the boys get together thru a series of comical misunderstandings

[ranwan] its literally just piss

[ranwan][lots of xzy and wcq] the accidental stepmommification of Chu Wanning

more to be added whenever I make new fics (or find ones I haven't listed here yet whoops)

[butterfly-apocalypse]

Ain’t No Sunshine

It is...COMPLETE!!!!!!

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh GX Relationship: Manjoume Jun | Chazz Princeton/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki Rating: Explicit Chapters: 7/7 Word count: 71,062

In which Judai is a blithe commitment-phobe with a poorly controlled hero complex, Manjoume pines himself into oblivion, Johan tries his hand at being a homewrecker, and Sho feels like he should have brought popcorn. And somehow, The Little Mermaid is thematically relevant.

Inspired by Home by dilf

I’m...honestly kind of emotional that it’s done! I got back home on Monday night, but since this fic was so strongly tied to my trip, it wasn’t until I posted the last chapter that it fully set in that my 6 months in Wales are over. 😭

I’d like to thank my beta reader @spadeyhearty for diligently reading every ~9k chapter multiple times before ever even watching the show and making sure I *used commas* and m-dashes, hehe. Also thank you for Restoring the Cocks when I foolishly obliterated them 😔

I’d also like to say a HUGE thank you to @dilfosaur (I really hope you don’t mind me tagging you in this) for writing Home and creating the wonderful Future GX AU that consumed my brain and was my canon before I ever watched canon 😁I know fanart of fanart is a thing, so I guess this fic is fanfic of a fanfic! I just adore the feelings in Home and I hope I was able to do it justice in my take on the AU/concept/setting/themes.💕 

And that’s a wrap on the longest thing I’ve ever written!

Read Ain’t No Sunshine here!  

[crimsonrainseekingflower]

Merfolk DLC AU for the "send me an AU and i’ll tell you 5 of my headcanons for it" ask game?

AAAAAA YES YES YES 💕💕💕

zhuzhi-lang is agender <3

shen qingqiu (and shang qinghua) still transmigrated but this isn't PIDW, it's based off a non-canon side story that shang qinghua randomly wrote which is probably why almost every character is trans haha!

the potion that temporarily gives tianlang-jun legs is inspired by the one from the original little mermaid story and it hurts him to walk 🥺

gongyi xiao didn't exactly fall in love at first sight but that first glimpse of zhuzhi-lang's face imprinted itself on his mind. he started to have vivid dreams after seeing just a hint of the elusive mer-snake...

the humans who tried to grab zhuzhi-lang when he was a baby were from huan hua palace

[casinoom886]

Egypt 1.5 slot canyon

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Jan 05, 2022 · Slot canyons are fun to play around in, unless you’re that guy from 127 hours. While visiting Zion National Park, my friend Alex and I went on a canyoning adventure through a slot canyon (just outside the park) and wanted more. After a bit of searching, we stumbled onto a little slot canyon at Lambs Knoll – a place that we had all to ourselves.

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Sep 15, 2015 · Outside of Zion, a California husband and wife were killed on Sept. 11, 2008, when a torrent of water overtook them in the Egypt 3 slot canyon in the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument. And in northern Arizona, a flash flood Aug. 12, 1997, in Antelope Canyon swept away a dozen hikers, killing 11 of them.

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Peekaboo Slot Canyon UTV Tour. 1.5 hours. From $90 per person. BOOK NOW. We meet for this tour 5 miles North of Kanab, Utah at Peekaboo Trailhead parking lot right off of US Highway 89. We will travel 10 to 15 minutes via UTV to Peekaboo Slot Canyon, where we will then get to explore this beautiful slot canyon.

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Jun 20, 2022 · 10 Amazing Slot Canyons to Explore. 1. Antelope Canyon. Arguably the most beautiful slot canyon on this list, this is also the most popular. Located on Navajo lands, this slot canyon can only be visited on a tour. Two different slot canyons make up Antelope Canyon and both offer very different experiences. When people refer to Antelope Canyon. Egypt 1.5 slot canyon, online sports gambling sites usa, go about slot, pala casino sign up bonus, fruity burst slot, casino extreme sign up bonus, grand cayman casino resorts, eddy mitchell big band au casino de paris Advisory Deciding to sell a business you have spent a lifetime building is one of the most difficult decisions facing entrepreneurs. From $105 per person. BOOK NOW. Travel offroad by UTV to 2 beautiful slot canyons: Upper Red Cave Slot Canyon and Lower Red Cave Slot Canyon. This tour is for everyone. You will drive right to the mouth of 2 slot canyons and then walk right inside. You will walk about ¼ of a mile total on this tour.

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Jan 16, 2022 · Located about 10 kilometers (6.2 miles) from Annecy in France, the Gorges du Fier is one of the easier slot canyons to walk through.That’s because visitors go through the canyon on a railed walkway that is about 30 meters (100 feet) above a river rushing below. Individual card ranks are used to compare hands that contain no pairs or other special. List Of Poker Hands In Order Winnipeg Poker Tournaments 2018 Poker Heads Up Blinds All Irish Casino Mystical Mermaid Slot Wins Doubledown Casino Free Download Printable List Of Poker Hands Best To Worst Emu Casino No Deposit Bonus Code 2018. Egypt 2 Slot Canyon is an awesome slot canyon along Hole-in-the-Rock Road. The canyon has a super short approach, a couple of fun rappels, lots of skinny sections, and some fun little potholes. It is tons of fun. Canyon Rating: 3A. Time: 4-6 hours. Length: 3 miles round trip. Longest Rappel: 100 ft (300 ft optional) Fees: None. Recommended Ages.

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May 18, 2007 · However, this hike exits Egypt 2 before that confluence. Shortly after Egypt 2 opens up you will encounter a short, narrow slot in the bottom of the broad wash and 100yds beyond this slot this hike exits Egypt on the left at 37 o 33.71'N 111 o 14.83'W and an elevation of 4780ft. Here you will be about 1.5mi and 2.5hrs from the start. The exit.

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Egypt 1.5 is not especially scenic, but it is incredibly fun. This little canyon has it all: rappels, tight sections, stemming, sliding, downclimbing, and potholes. This is a great canyon for partner assists. Because Egypt 1.5 is so short and easy, it can easily be done with beginners or large groups. Gear: 50 foot rope. Standard rappelling gear.

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Egypt Slot Canyon. This slot canyon tour is a 6 mile round trip hike. We drop into a long and narrow slot for 1.5 to 2 miles. This is a. fantastic but difficult tour and you must be in shape and able to squeeze thru long narrow convoluting sandstone. Minimum 2 people) $200.00 per person.

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Egypt 1 is an awesome slot canyon. Its very beginner-friendly and big-group-friendly. As with the other Egypt slots, the entrance is just a few feet from the road. Egypt 1 is very scenic with layered, sculpted sandstone walls. It has up to 3 rappels. Canyon Rating: 3A. Time: 2-3 hours. Length: 1.6 miles round trip. Longest Rappel: 30 ft. Fees. Mar 14, 2022 · Pine Creek Slot Canyon in Zion; Kanarraville Canyon Falls; 1. Wire Pass 2. Little Wild Horse 3. Peek-a-Boo 4. Zebra 5. The Subway 6. Willis Creek 7. The Narrows 8. One Hour Guided ATV Ride in Utah. 12. from. $80.00. per group (up to 1) East Zion Experiences 4-Hour Slot Canyon Canyoneering UTV Tour. 150. Recommended. Adventure Tours.

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Red Canyon Slot Aka Peek a boo trailhead; Kanab; Utah. 84741. 5.0 average out of 5 rating of 10 reviews. 5.0. out of 5. 10 Viator reviews. 100%. Sort reviews by. How much is the buffet at gun lake casino, mt vernon il casino, daftar slot via pulsa 5000 tanpa potongan, casino near vernon ny, all star slots no deposit bonus codes may 2022, free lionfish slots, student accommodation near monte casino, egypt 1.5 slot canyon The role of medication noncompliance and adverse drug reactions in hospitalizations of the elderly.

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6.6 miles, the road goes near the head of Egypt 1, and a slick rock area at the head of the canyon. ( 12S 477235mE 4158430mN / N37° 34' 21" W111° 15' 28" ) 7.9 miles, the road enters a wash and slickrock area, with the dramatic head of Egypt 2 on the right. At roughly 6.6 miles, there is a wash to the left side, and slick rock to the right. The slick rock to the right side is the entrance to Egypt 1 slot canyon. There was no “trailhead” sign so you must be on the lookout, although it is fairly obvious when you know what you are looking for. Coordinates to egypt 1. 37.572222, -111.257500. Upper Egypt 5 Canyon is an advanced technical canyon in Grand Staircase-Escalante Nataional Monument. With a 300-foot starting rappel and high stemming (up to 40 feet off the ground), this canyon is not for the faint of heart. For the capable, though, this canyon is a lot of fun. It has a quick approach and exit and the stemming is straightforward.

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Jul 09, 2019 · 5. Oneonta Gorge. The Oneonta Gorge is a picturesque canyon residing in the Columbia River chasm area of the American state of Oregon. This area, being a habitat of unique aquatic and woodland plants, has been designated as a botanical area. Oneonta Gorge is known as “one of the true dramatic chasms in the state.”. We did a lot of stemming including times when we were completely stretched with both hands on one wall and both feet on the other to reach. It really is hard to describe how tight many sections of Egypt 3 is. Egypt Slot Canyon. T his slot canyon tour is a 6 mile round trip hike. We drop into a long and narrow slot for 1.5 to 2 miles. Peek-A-Boo, also commonly known as Red Canyon, is an easy, short hike (0.7 miles round trip) into one of the most beautiful slot canyons in the area. The stunning orange, sandstone walls make an amazing backdrop for photographs. In the canyon, you will find ancient Moqui Steps climbing the canyon wall as well as logs balanced between the canyon.

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[retrievablememories]

off the deep end | doyoung, xiaojun (m)

title: off the deep end pairing: doyoung x black mermaid oc x xiaojun side characters: gongmyung, seulgi, joy, haechan (mentioned), kun (mentioned), yuta (mentioned) genre: mermaid au, romance, smut, hurt/comfort, angst, fantasy, 1990s au request: Your magical ass writing with Doyoung was AMAZING btw! I wanted to request one with a Black female OC as a mermaid with Doyoung as the love interest 🧐 I think Xiao Jun would be a good side character somehow too. I'd love to see where you take this idea and I'm really down for angst, fluff, smut, anything really 😌 word count: 16.5k warnings: grief/mourning as a running theme, mentions of death and murder, some gore and blood (eating human parts), some emotional manipulation, gaslighting?, some stigma around therapy/ableism, poly relationship (with m/m), xiaojun’s a total simp, threesome (mmf), outdoor sex, oral sex (female receiving), handjobs, fingering, unprotected sex a/n: i gave xiaojun a bigger role than initially intended because there was too much plot potential to not feature him more prominently...also i wasn’t quite sure what to do with him as a side character lol. i have gotten several inquiries in the past about writing fic for xiaojun, so here’s my offering until i write him a solo fic

note that there’s not a ton of emphasis on the 1990s setting, i just set it a couple decades back because i didn’t want social media/smartphones to be a thing 💁🏿‍♀️

one. autumn, 1994

“I hate this place,” Doyoung says to no one. 

Maybe he says it to the sea, to the seagulls hopping across the sand nearby, or to the wind itself. But not to anyone who is really listening. He tries to tuck his legs closer to his body to block out the cold wind, but his foot slips on the damp rock and goes splashing into the tide pool he’s sitting just above. He sighs and shakes his head, closing his eyes for a long moment.

It’s one simple, silly thing in the greater calamity of his life—a wet shoe. Something that can be easily fixed. But on top of everything else, it’s enough to have fresh tears gathering in his eyes for the hundredth time. He wipes them away with the sleeve of his sweater, though this is futile. They come tumbling out anyway, and he just tries to keep them somewhat concealed, hoping the rushing waves are enough to disguise the sound of his sobs to any living soul who might be nearby.

He doesn’t know why Haechan liked the beach so much. With autumn officially nearing, the beach is cold and wet and ugly, with its jagged dark rocks and colorless sand. He has never been much fond of living in a seaside city, always surrounded by water in some way or another, but this was his cousin’s favorite thing about it. Being at the beach now is just his desperate attempt to take comfort in something the younger man loved, if only to feel a little more connected to him.

It’s not doing a good job of providing any sort of consolation. Doyoung doesn’t know what else to do, though. He isn’t yet ready to go back home and be faced with all the grief there, the family members and friends dropping by everyday, the pitying looks and the uselessly placating words. So he stays right where he is, huddled on his sad dank rock with his hair blowing into his eyes and his face stinging from the chill of his fallen tears.

September has only just begun, and the weather has already turned so unexpectedly cold at night. He has a bitter thought that it fits his mood well. Fits the entire world—his world.

The air gets gradually chillier as the hour passes by, but Doyoung doesn’t make any move to leave. He flexes his fingers inside his sleeves and wiggles his toes inside his shoes, blinking his eyes quickly to keep himself from drifting off to sleep.

A sudden flurry of splashing catches his ears, and it awakens his foggy mind. It’s not the kind of noise that naturally comes from the wave’s motions; it’s more distinct, more abrupt. Like the sound of something sloshing around in the water.

Doyoung turns his head to the direction of the waves, searching for the spot where the sound originated from. He’d been staring at nothing but the tide pools for so long until now, but he sees nothing out in the ocean. Just water and more water, and the gray-violet-pink sky above as the sun descends into the horizon. He watches unblinkingly until his eyes grow dry and he has to close them.

Opening them reveals the sight of a green tail fin disappearing into the water—just the edges of it, almost too quick to catch, but it was undoubtedly there.

He doesn’t know what to make of that.

It was too big to belong to any regular fish. Maybe if he suspends disbelief, he can make himself believe it was a shark, but the coloring and scales aren’t consistent with any sharks he knows of.

Alleged mermaid sightings have existed for decades in this city, but they are not frequent enough to make them just that much more believable. Always the edge of a fin or a mop of hair or maybe even an arm in the water, but rarely any reported sightings of an entire mermaid. Any of those things could be any random person playing dress-up for their own entertainment, which has in fact happened before.

Still, many people believe the mermaids are real and live hidden in the waters. Their logic follows the idea that the sea maidens make themselves sparse, only seen by those they want to be perceived by. And they are not to be underestimated; their abilities for enshrouding themselves in mystery are supposedly unrivaled by even the sneakiest con man in the city.

Now is probably not the best timing for a mermaid sighting of his own, though he barely believes in their existence to begin with. Doyoung is not interested. He doesn’t know what she might do to him, if she’ll try to talk to him, or if she’s simply playing a game, which he is also not in the mood for. And with his sore lack of knowledge about the mermaid legends, he is nothing but apprehensive. He keeps his eyes on that spot until it seems certain he won’t see that glittering green tail fin a second time, and finally gets up from his rock.

He walks back home in silence, hands tucked into his hoodie for what warmth he can get, his mind refocusing on other things. Like the fresh grief settling inside his body as yet another scar.

two. annihilation

Doyoung goes inside himself where it is quiet and safer than the outside. Not much safer, with the thoughts of death and feelings of fear that continually plague him, but it’s better than the prying questions and endless platitudes.

For days on end, he doesn’t say much to anyone other than what’s absolutely necessary—or on the occasion when he feels well enough to say more. His family is visibly bothered by it. His parents keep trying to drag more conversation out of him, if only to make things feel more “normal” around the house; his brother doesn’t even attempt it. The feeling is still too raw for the both of them. Gongmyung leaves Doyoung to his own devices when the younger man becomes silent and aloof, unwilling to pressure him for verbal answers.

Doyoung has a few fleeting thoughts about therapy, is subsequently embarrassed by it, and doesn’t think about it again for the next few days. This cycle repeats over and over. He doesn’t want to be seen as that person in the family who’s “gone insane,” and he doesn't want to entertain the idea of anyone close to him knowing he’d been to therapy.

They’d surely think differently of him, seeing him as more of a ticking timebomb than a human; and though he prefers to think otherwise, maybe even his brother would too. He decides to shove all his feelings down instead—pack them away in a suitcase he’ll leave somewhere under his bed.

The thoughts and feelings he can’t manage to repress, he unravels in his room. On the rooftop of their house. On the beach. Anywhere he can get a moment of privacy, he collapses into himself and lets the emotions overtake him. It feels the opposite of “freeing,” but it’s the only other solution on days where he feels like he’ll burst at the seams if he doesn’t do something.

In the first few days after the accident, Doyoung decided to take a break from college. He’d already missed half his classes for that week; what would be the point in going back to that campus? He doesn’t really know when he’ll be back, but he doesn’t want the obligations of exams and schoolwork and projects weighing him down when he already feels like he’s sinking.

He only hopes it’s the right decision. Without the busyness of school, he does not have much left to distract himself with. The chaos of his own head is just a little too deafening sometimes.

three. as the sun rises

This nautical gift shop is one of the most frequented spots near the beach—meaning there will be little to no privacy. There will be too many people around, too many eyes staring at Doyoung even if they really aren’t, and too many interruptions.

Because of this, he goes during the early morning hours instead, when the stores have just opened up and there won’t be many people around other than the employees. He hasn’t talked to Xiaojun in a few weeks since the incident—and the immediate aftermath of it, including the rotating door of condolences and the funeral. He figures the younger man must assume he’s dropped off the face of the Earth. However, Xiaojun seems to be an accommodating person from the few interactions they’ve had—maybe a little too accommodating for his own good—so maybe he’ll still be open to talk.

The bell above the door rings as Doyoung walks inside. Early sunlight slants through the windows, creating bright patches of warmth on the floor and throughout different areas of the shop. He’s alone for a few moments. There’s no one behind the register, though he can hear someone rustling around in the storerooms in the back. His eyes follow the clean lines of the stripes of sunlight as he stands there awkwardly, wondering if he should just leave or wait for someone to appear.

“Oh, hey hyung.” Doyoung is startled by the sound of Xiaojun’s voice, and he realizes he’d fallen into a bit of a trance. “It’s pretty early for you. Do you not have classes today? I hadn’t seen you at school lately.”

When Doyoung opens his mouth to respond, it feels like trying to breathe through molasses. “My cousin Haechan died recently...I’ve taken some time off from school, so...if you don’t see me around campus, that’s why.” Maybe it’s too much to dump on Xiaojun all at once, but Doyoung’s ability for small talk is drained as of late.

Xiaojun’s face changes from its original friendly disposition to a sad expression, his thick eyebrows creasing with distress. Xiaojun puts a hand on the other man’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “I’m really sorry, hyung. You know you can come here and talk to me whenever you want to.”

Xiaojun is a nice guy. Doyoung doesn’t know much about him other than the basic things they’ve shared in small talk with each other, but he thinks maybe he should try to change that. Doyoung tells himself he’s doing this because he wants (needs?) the company, no matter how brief their meeting may be, and not necessarily because he has increasingly become frightened by the fleeting quality of life—of not being able to make connections with people before they’re gone, and of missing too many opportunities.

He doesn't know how to say all of that without sounding like he’s about to have a mental and emotional breakdown in the middle of a beach gift shop, though, so he only nods to Xiaojun’s words. “Thank you.”

Xiaojun’s hand leaving Doyoung’s shoulder makes him feel disproportionately lonely, which only causes him to be more sad and mad at himself. Mad at how grief has turned him into something he barely recognizes, some amorphous shape of a person with a mountain of emotions he has no clue how to reckon with.

“I, uh...well,” Doyoung stammers. He’s not sure what to say now, and he is having an even harder time trying to figure out whether he wants to stay longer or just be alone again. “I should probably leave you alone now. You have to work.”

Xiaojun shakes his head. “It’s still early, it’s fine.” Then he says, “We could go out on the water any time, you know. If you want. My family is pretty close to the people who run the marina, so…discounts.” It’s as if the younger man can read his mind, or at least how his body language betrays his desire to not feel left alone. Abandoned.

Doyoung nods again and hopes that suffices in lieu of an actual smile. Even if he has to spend more time around the water, he can be receptive to it if it means he’ll have some company…although he can’t currently muster up the energy to show his gratitude outwardly. “I’d…like that. But, I don’t think I have your number yet?”

“Oh!” Xiaojun goes to the front counter where the register is sitting and searches around for something, then suddenly holds up what he was looking for—a pen. “I can write it down for you, give me your hand.” Doyoung does, and he watches as the younger man pens his number on the back of his hand in neat little numbers. “Just call me later so I can get your number.”

“I will. Thanks.”

The smile Xiaojun gives him before he leaves is tinged with sympathy. It stays in the back of Doyoung’s mind for the rest of that day. He tries not to think of it as pitying, which would only make him feel worse, and just appreciates the other’s efforts. He strokes his thumb over the numbers on his hand, committing them to memory. 

four. savior

i could tell from the moment i met you that you are the savior that has come to ruin me

Despite not really being optimistic about it, Doyoung continues visiting the beach in a somewhat futile attempt to see if it’ll start comforting him at some point—though it has yet to do so. He can’t help feeling cheated. Isn’t the beach a relaxing, inspiring place for most other people? It’s supposed to be freeing, somewhere to be yourself and release your troubles. And yet, he feels even more anchored to Earth and all of its ugly realities than ever.

Doyoung only goes at night or during the latest hour of the evening when the sun begins setting. Sometimes he walks the length of the beach—or just as far as he can go, though it feels like forever. The beach is too expansive and not worth the entire journey. Whenever he does this, he tries to focus on the wet sand squishing between his toes and empty himself of anything that could possibly hurt him. Other times, he sits on the congregation of rocks and watches the tide pools and the life within them.

He’s doing just that when he sees the fin again. Unlike last time, he sees more of the tail that the fin belongs to as it breaks the surface of the water, the scales shimmering in the dying orange light of the sun—and then he is wholly shocked when a woman’s body follows the rest.

Her hair is a wavy curtain of curlicues around her face and shoulders. Her skin is a mahogany brown, not an article of clothing present, and he is too stunned to think about looking away. Her eyes are full and bottomless, like the blackest fathoms of the deep sea; they hold equal parts curiosity and knowledge. They are hard to look away from. She looks at him like he’s a stranger she’s known all her life, and it’s a contradiction that makes no sense in his mind.

“W...what are you doing h-here?” Doyoung asks breathlessly, the words practically punched from his lungs.

She tilts her head. “I live here. What are you doing here?”

He ignores her question, though he doesn’t really mean to. His mind is still working overtime to understand the fact that a mermaid has appeared in front of him. When she opens her mouth to speak, he is even more taken aback to see that some of her front teeth are sharp. It sets him on edge. “S-so close to the shore? You live here?”

“No. I swam near the shore because I felt like doing so.”

“Then...who are you?”

“I am me. Who are you?”

“You...don’t have a name?”

“It appears you don’t either, since you didn’t answer the question.”

Doyoung looks at her for a few moments, unsure how to proceed with this nonsensical conversation. “Okay—well...I’m Doyoung. But still, you don’t have a name?”

“Do you really believe you’re going to learn a mermaid’s name at first meeting?”

He furrows his brows, already growing irritated though his stomach still rolls with unease. “Why wouldn’t I be able to?”

“No one here has told you anything about how it works?”

“I’ve lived here for years. What the hell do you mean?”

“Then you would already know why I won’t give you my name.”

“Well, I don’t. Stop with the cryptic talk.”

She crosses her arms over one of the rocks to lean against it. Her expression doesn’t change much, but Doyoung feels like she’s peering directly into his bone marrow, and that unsettles him. “You’re a strange man. Most men would be salivating on themselves to see a sea maiden in person.”

“I’m not most men.”

“Clearly. I’m going to assume your dour mood has something to do with the same reason why you’ve been coming here every week looking depressed.”

Doyoung’s eyes slide away from her then. He subconsciously curls into himself, although he doesn’t mean to show his emotions so plainly.

“Am I correct?”

“I doubt you would understand. Either way, I don’t want to talk about it,” Doyoung says decisively, hoping that will be the end of it.

“That’s fine.” She lets go of the rock she’s holding and dips back into the water; when she resurfaces for a moment, her hair is wringing wet again. She swims around the rock for a bit, seemingly forgetting about Doyoung’s existence, and he watches her with his heart beating a bit faster than normal until she comes back up to the surface again. “But you are searching for something.”

“What?”

“That’s why you’re here, yes? You’re looking for solace.”

Doyoung’s heart picks up even more. “I don’t know how you could possibly figure that.”

“The how of it isn’t important. I just know.”

“This is ridiculous,” Doyoung mutters. He tries to get up from his rock a bit too hastily and slips, his feet splashing into the water again and soaking his socks through. The mermaid watches this without a word, waiting to see his reaction. This time, the incident doesn’t shock any tears out of him; he’s too worn out for that. Thankfully so, because he is not keen on crying in front of this strange woman. “Maybe I’ve been taking too many damn sleeping pills.”

“I assure you this is not an illusion.”

“I think I’d be happier if it was.”

“Maybe. But the things that benefit us most aren’t always what will make us happy...at least initially.”

“Nice psychoanalyzing,” Doyoung remarks. Standing up straight, he starts carefully picking his way through the rocks. “Not in the mood for it, though.” He doesn’t look back to see if she’s still there as he walks away, though his heart keeps fluttering like a caged bird, a subtle disquietude filling his veins.

She watches him retreat, his back slumped and hands tucked into his pockets. His hoodie swallows him up in its gray maw. Something about the sight brings out a tinge of sympathy, though there is a sneaking interest alongside it.

five. the myth

“This is kinda…random. But, do you think those mermaid legends are true? Like, do they really exist in this town? Or at all?”

Doyoung picks at his food as he asks his questions; he isn’t very hungry. Retrospectively, he thinks maybe a lunch date was not a great idea with his lack of appetite lately, but he forces himself to eat something as to not concern Xiaojun.

He just needs a reason to be out of the house. And to get some insight on things that Gongmyung won’t understand. If there is anyone more skeptical than Doyoung himself, it’s his brother.

Xiaojun visibly perks up at these questions, though Doyoung is too lost in his own thoughts and emotions to catch this. “Why do you ask that?”

“I don’t know.” Doyoung’s voice is quiet. “I guess I was just thinking about it lately, with going to the beach more often and all. I read up on some of the stories.”

“I guess you could speculate that it’s true,” Xiaojun says carefully. “People say they hear singing out in the middle of the water sometimes. You can’t account for that. The sailors—when you hang out by the docks, they’ll tell you stuff like that.”

Doyoung shrugs. “Some swimmers trying out their vocal cords, probably.”

Xiaojun chuckles. “Likely not that far out at sea.” Then he grows more serious. “The sailors say they’ve seen them. Not fully, but just...the shadows of them, beneath the water.”

“Do you believe the sailors, then? Half of them are known drunkards.”

“I think there are many things in this world that you and I don’t even know about. Things that can’t be explained.” Xiaojun seems perfectly earnest when he says this, which is honestly enough to make Doyoung believe the man is being sincere, even if he still doesn’t know what to make of this whole mermaid thing. “What about you? You must have an opinion on it if you’re asking me.”

“Huh? Oh, I...it seems...really out-there. Stories are...just stories.”

“I’m not surprised you’re doubtful, you’re a bona-fide science major. Evidence over everything,” Xiaojun snickers.

Doyoung finds it somewhat amusing and curious that Xiaojun even noticed that about him. “I guess you’re right about that.”

“Since you said the beach is practically your hangout spot now, have you ever thought about trying to find a mermaid? Y’know, since evidence and all.”

Doyoung isn’t sure how to confess that he already has. He’s seen the mermaid twice more since those first two encounters. Even though he was afraid to go back to the beach for a few days, he eventually ended up walking along its sandy shore again—and spotted her floating farther off in the distance, the sunset framing her figure like some eerie halo. Watching him.

He doesn’t think he wants to share that information, for some reason. It still feels almost too bizarre to be real, and he thinks maybe if he goes to the beach one more time, she won’t be there ever again and he’ll discover none of it was real. Or maybe he’ll realize the grief has been messing with his mind and causing delusions. He might just decide on therapy after all if he’s truly lost his mind; at least everyone won’t be wrong when they call him crazy. He shuts his eyes. “I’m not sure. I don’t know if that’s possible. You almost make it sound easy.”

“I believe it wouldn’t be as difficult as people make it seem,” Xiaojun says cryptically. “We live in a sea town. Hypothetically, there are plenty of places for mermaids to be. Just need to visit the right place at the right time, I’d presume.”

Doyoung stares at him. “Then, have you seen one?”

Xiaojun smiles slightly. His expression seems wistful, regretful maybe, and Doyoung doesn’t quite understand the emotions in it. “No, not yet.”

“Ah…I see.” Doyoung shoves his plate to the side, being pretty much done with it at this point. “Then...one last question, and I won’t bother you with this subject anymore. What do you know about mermaid names?”

“Oh.” Xiaojun chuckles. “They don’t share their given names with anyone, or else…” He trails off here, and Doyoung waits patiently to see what he will say—if there’s any truth to what the mermaid told him. “...well, that one I’m not sure about. Something bad happens, is all I know.”

“This is all much more complex than it needs to be,” Doyoung snorts.

Xiaojun grins. “Complexity adds mystery.” He checks his watch then, and his expression drops by a fraction. “Sorry to cut it short, but it’s about time for me to go back to work.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Time for me to go back to, uh...doing nothing, I guess.” Doyoung tries to make a half-hearted joke about his current lack of direction, but he can’t quite disguise his unease at feeling so lost in the world at the moment.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Just take your time with coming back to college. It’ll still be there when you get back.” Xiaojun’s lips lift in a small smirk as he pats Doyoung’s shoulder.

“True.” Doyoung says, and gives him a small smile. He watches as the other male leaves, and he wonders if he should go to the beach today. Look for the mermaid, maybe. See if there are possibly others; he’s never seen any but her.

In the end, he ends up wandering through the busier part of the city for a couple hours, his body working on autopilot. He abruptly heads home when he realizes he’s been subconsciously tracing steps back to the places Haechan used to frequent.

six. the pearl

Doyoung dreams a cold, tense dream.

“Why didn’t you do anything?”

“You could’ve saved me.”

“All you had to do was come over.”

“I never would’ve left the house that night...but you refused to come over.”

Haechan’s voice echoes in his head repeatedly, ricocheting around his skull. The words overlap until they’re nearly deafening.

Doyoung clamps his hands over his ears to try to block the words, but they keep seeping through his fingers like a physical thing—something thick, suffocating, and inescapable. Something hot and viscous rolls down the sides of his face, and he pulls his hands away to see blood and tar mixing together on his skin, dripping down his palms and wrists.

He tries to wipe the mess off his hands and face, but it keeps sticking. Every time he passes his hands over his skin, the substance only increases and becomes more tacky. In just another minute it is drowning him alive, clogging up his nose and throat and blocking off his air, making him unable to shout for help.

But there’s no help coming anyway. He’s been abandoned, much like he abandoned Haechan that night, he supposes. In some dark part of his mind, he reasons that maybe he deserves this.

His chest burns from the asphyxiation, so much that it feels like his lungs might explode.

Just when Doyoung thinks he might die, he bursts awake with a scream, shivering and wet and flailing in his bed. He’s instantly confused, feeling around his mattress and finding the entire thing is soaked with water. His clothes, too, are wet all the way through.

It’s like an ocean wave has crashed on top of his bed, though there is no evidence of where the water came from or how it even got in his room. Doyoung sits up in his bed for a few long moments, confused out of his mind and unsure how to even begin to address this mess.

Finally, he shifts his legs out from under the soggy covers and makes an attempt to get out of bed, only for his hand to touch something small and round. Looking around to see what it is, he peels the covers back and spots something on top of the fitted sheet.

Holding it between two fingers, he squints to see it in the dark. It’s a pearl.

Despite the chaos surrounding him and rattling his senses, his chest and mind feel suddenly, blissfully empty of anything. He stares at the pearl in awe, rolling it carefully between his fingers, until the moment is suddenly interrupted by Gongmyung opening the door. Doyoung turns to the door, squinting at the sliver of light that comes pouring into his room from the hallway.

“I just came to—what the hell?!”

--

“Something weird happened.”

Doyoung doesn’t know why he’s telling the mermaid this, but his family already thinks he’s crazy enough for waking them up in the middle of the night screaming, his bed doused in water. Maybe she can give some idea of what the hell is going on, or even advice. At least not a lecture like the one he’s already received.

“I know.”

Doyoung opens his mouth to begin explaining, but then pauses. “You know? No, you don’t.”

“I tried to stop it, but...it didn’t quite work as intended.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The dream you had. You were suffering, and I felt...sympathetic.” Doyoung stares at her for a long moment. She continues talking when he doesn't say anything. “The pearl, though…it should help with the nightmares.” The pearl, which is presently sitting snug in his pocket, becomes suddenly obvious to him; he can feel the tiny weight of it pressing against his thigh within his jeans.

He holds his hands up. “Stop. Just, stop joking with me. I don’t know what you’re doing right now, and it’s not funny.”

“It’s not a joke, and you know that.”

“You can’t possibly know what I was dreaming about.”

“It was about Haechan.” Doyoung’s throat tightens. He’s never mentioned the younger man’s name in front of her, let alone informed her of his cousin’s former existence. He feels like simultaneously curling inside himself and desperately opening himself up to her to ask more questions.

All of his normal rational thinking is hanging on by a thread frayed thin with grief, and she isn’t making things any more logical for him.

“I’m sorry. I had to give you proof,” she says, noting his sudden reticence. “I just tried to...change the contents of the dream, or wake you up. Think I mixed the spells up, though.”

“Spells?” he scoffs, though it’s a weak sound. “My mattress is still in the backyard drying.” He’s not even sure how he feels right now. Irritated? Disturbed? Confused? All of it all at once? “I think my family must believe I’m cursed or something.”

For a brief moment, he wonders if she might know a way to make sense of this pain. Change it somehow, or reverse it. If you can do all this, can you…could you…? He doesn’t let that thought manifest fully, shoving it to the recesses of his mind and steeling himself against the shame that immediately follows for even entertaining such a concept.

“Just hold the pearl whenever you feel troubled.” Which is all the time lately, Doyoung thinks. “It can help calm your mind. It’s like a panacea.”

“A…what?”

The mermaid smiles slightly. “It’s just something that helps you feel better.”

Doyoung thinks back to the weird but pleasant emptiness he felt after holding the pearl. Once again, he’s forced to accept that this likely isn’t bullshit, though he wants to believe it is for his own sanity. “Well...thanks, I guess. But please don’t try any more weird spells on me without my knowledge.”

“If you wish so, I won’t do it any more.”

“...Thanks.” His gratitude is begrudging. “But you still haven’t explained how you could know what I was...dreaming about.”

The mermaid looks at him as if evaluating him, deciding whether she will tell him or not. “There is no how. Some things are just natural to mermaids.” Then she sighs. “Dream manipulation was never my strong suit, though.”

“That makes no sense. There’s a ‘how’ to everything.”

“Maybe for people like you who need to cling to logic to make sense of everything.” She sighs as if pitying him. “There’s much more to the world than you’ll likely ever realize, Doyoung.”

“Well—” He can’t argue with that, but it displeases him that there is no clear answer for this, no ultimate conclusion he can point to for this situation—or for the current dark chaos of his life.

“Use the pearl,” she reiterates, her voice serious, and starts swimming away from him. The conversation is too abrupt for his taste. He finds himself once again feeling untethered with more questions than he even started with, but he says nothing. Then she glances back. “I hope you’ll have more peaceful nights after this.”

He watches her hair trail in the water until she ducks under and out of sight.

seven. on the water

Doyoung finally decides to take Xiaojun up on his offer to visit the marina.

It’s a day where the sky is clear and the sun is out; the heavens painted in shades of deep, shining blue. Though the weather still has that autumn chill, the sunshine takes the edge off. With Xiaojun off from work all day and Doyoung not having any classes to worry about for a while, it’s the ideal timing for both of them.

When they get down to the marina, they rent out a boat for the day—presumably at way less than it’d cost anyone else, from what Doyoung can guess. He can assume that Xiaojun’s family’s connections at the marina helped; and his good looks definitely didn’t hurt either, judging by the near-starstruck reactions of the older woman at the boat rental shop.

It’s just the two of them on the boat, and Doyoung watches curiously as Xiaojun pulls the docking lines up, starts the engine, and pushes the throttle forward.

“You know how to drive a boat,” Doyoung speaks. It’s more of a statement than a question. He’s a bit surprised by this, thinking instead there’d be someone else on the vessel with them to navigate it. He’s embarrassed about the tiny thrill of fear that runs down his spine, but Xiaojun claims to spend most of his time around the water when he’s not in the shop or at home, so he must know what he’s doing.

“Yep, learned it from my parents. As kids me and my brother spent so much time around the water, they joked we might grow gills once we hit puberty.” Xiaojun’s lips quirk up in a smile at that memory.

“That would be a sight to see.” Doyoung watches as Xiaojun maneuvers the wheel and steers them away from the dock. They cruise past the rest of the boats in the dock and into the open water. At this time of day and in the middle of the week, there are few other boats on the water with them. “I guess you must be pretty close to your parents.”

“Yes! It was always so much fun coming out here with them.”

Doyoung chuckles softly. “Before now, I’d never imagined a life like that. I didn’t grow up around any water.”

“Oh, you’re not from here?”

“Nope...our parents decided to move here just before I started high school. Hyung hadn’t been too happy about leaving his high school friends behind. Because we already had family up here, it just made sense to them, I guess.”

“Was it a shock, then?”

“Yeah. I hated it intensely...I still kind of do,” Doyoung admits, and though there is no reason to, he feels a little bad about hating a thing that Xiaojun loves so much. “I just could never come to understand how Haechan liked it—” For one brief and blissful moment, he actually forgets about everything that’s happened, thinking he will once again have a chance to hear the younger boy asking him to come out to their pool, or to the beach—until the reality of it collides up against his mind. 

Xiaojun gives him a concerned glance. Doyoung shakes his head and forces a neutral expression.

He decides to change the subject before the other man can speak. “How are things going at the college?” Doyoung leans over the edge to look at the water sloshing up around the side of the boat as they speed past. Although he doesn’t love feeling aimless, he isn’t sure if he misses the university itself yet, either. The idea of trying to go back to “normalcy,” of sitting in a classroom, listening to droning lectures, and virtually acting like his life is average again, gives him a strange kind of nervewracking, tightening sensation in his body.

“Same as always, I guess,” Xiaojun responds. “The theatre program has a new seasonal production in the planning stages, though, and I’m pretty excited for it…”

Doyoung listens to Xiaojun dive into a deep explanation of the play, more than willing to let the younger man do most of the talking if it lets himself ease his mind off more difficult things for the moment. Plus, hearing Xiaojun’s obvious passion about the theatre is endearing in its own little way.

Eventually, they get back around to that subject.

“So, did you try to look for a mermaid?” Xiaojun asks, chuckling.

Doyoung’s eyes widen, and he thinks back to the pearl sitting in his nightstand at home. “Eh, no...not yet.” He runs a hand through his hair and wonders if he should just say it, but quickly decides against it. “I, uh, forgot to ask you something last time though. Have you ever read any of those stories about mermaids eating, you know...humans? Let’s say, if they do exist. What do you think about that?”

Xiaojun’s shoulders tense. The movement is too small for Doyoung to catch, especially with the boat’s constant motion. He glances over at Doyoung for maybe a moment longer than he should while driving the boat.

“Hm...I’ve read about some incidents in newspapers when I was young, but most of those have been debunked.”

“Debunked?”

“Yeah, I mean, there are other sea creatures that can eat humans...though they often don’t. A couple freak accidents or shark attack fatalities could easily be passed off as mermaids eating humans if people are opportunistic enough about it.”

“I see.” The mermaid’s sharp grin flashes in Doyoung’s mind, and he isn’t so sure if he believes this, but he doesn’t argue it. “I guess that makes sense.”

“For a STEM major, you really do have a penchant for keeping up with weird mystical theories,” Xiaojun chuckles.

Doyoung flushes. “It’s not like that...nothing wrong with a little curiosity.”

--

By the time they make it back to the marina, the sun is setting.

“It’s a good thing we can still stay out here this late,” Xiaojun remarks, carefully docking the boat and cutting the engine off.

“What do you mean?”

“That recent curfew people have been talking about,” he says. “The government is still deciding whether they should do it or not.”

“Oh, that…” Doyoung had heard about the curfew in passing, but he’d been too consumed with his own issues to really pay any attention to what it was about. “That, uh…”

“The disappearances, remember? New one every month.”

“Oh, right.” Doyoung remembers seeing the first reports of them just a couple years ago. “They’ve mostly been criminals and whatnot? The occasional homeless person too.”

“People that no one will really notice or miss once they’re gone,” Xiaojun murmurs.

“Uh, yeah.” A shiver passes through Doyoung’s body, not wholly due to the wind. “It’s disturbing. I hope they can find who’s doing it soon.”

Xiaojun nods. “Me too.”

Doyoung and Xiaojun get back onto the dock after tying the boat up. Even though Doyoung experienced the most enjoyment he’s had in a while on the boat ride, he’s still glad to have his feet back on land.

“I hope it was fun today,” Xiaojun says, looking at the other man with a small smile. After their dark topic of conversation just minutes earlier, this gesture feels almost like a relief to Doyoung, and he gives a small grin back.

“It was great—thanks for all this. You can always hang out with me and my brother. I know some fun things to do, too...even if it might not seem like it.” They both laugh at that.

“Sure, I’ll do that. Just let me know when,” Xiaojun agrees, patting Doyoung on the back. “Now, let’s go find something to eat.”

eight. the touch of water

“You really like the water.”

The look the mermaid gives Doyoung says she’s not sure if she should humor him or not.

“I mean—okay yeah, I know you’re a mermaid. But...you just. I don’t know.”

“The water is a living thing, just like me or you. There are countless reasons to ‘like’ it. Marvel at it, venerate it.”

“A living thing?”

“Water cleanses you of whatever needs to be cleansed. It knows you, and it feels you.” The mermaid floats on her back in the water with her face pointed to the sky, glancing over at Doyoung occasionally as she speaks. “You should get in instead of always sitting on that rock. Your butt is going to erode it away.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes but decides to let that last comment go. He’s not in the mood for the back and forth...though that’s practically become inevitable whenever they talk to each other. “You always sound like my friend Yuta, talking about his tarot cards and all this pseudo-spiritual bullcrap.”

The mermaid simply looks at him. “I don’t really care if you believe it or not. It’ll still be true either way.” She flips back into the water and swims around a bit, as if showing off how good the water feels. Doyoung knows it’s colder than it appears, though.

“Anyway, I’m not interested in you eating me once I get in.”

She stops her dallying around and swims right up to the rock he’s on, placing her hands on it and stretching up like she’s trying to get as close to him as possible. “Do you believe you are someone worth eating? Do you think I would eat you?”

Someone worth eating? It’s odd to be offended about a statement like that—Doyoung is very much not interested in being eaten alive or whatever it is mermaids might do—but it still prickles him. “I didn't know mermaids had some extra-special criteria for choosing their meals.”

The mermaid narrows her eyes. Seeing her so up-close with her suspicious gaze and sharp teeth is disconcerting, but Doyoung is surprised to realize he still finds her face strangely appealing to look at. “We are living things like you, meaning we also have likes and dislikes.”

“So you do eat humans?”

“Stop being ridiculous. You should stop reading so many fairytales.” She lets go of the rock then, drifting back away from him and letting the rolling motion of the waves carry her. “Maybe you didn’t know it, but you can learn more knowledge from interacting with an actual mermaid than believing old myths.”

Doyoung’s embarrassed. “I didn’t—I’m not…”

“Anyway. Are you going to get in and try it or not? That’s the only thing I wanted to ask you about today. I’ll be on my way otherwise.”

Doyoung pauses. He doesn’t want her to leave, he realizes, even if he had already convinced himself that her consistent appearances were robbing him of his hard-sought peace. He hates the idea of getting in freezing cold water, but he might equally dislike the idea of her leaving. So on a foolish whim, he shucks his shoes and socks off and wades in knee-deep.

And then he stays rooted next to one of the big rocks for a long moment, trying to acclimate to the shock of the cold water, waves of it crashing around his legs with the high tide. “I-I don’t feel any d-different,” he stammers out through chattering teeth.

“You aren’t even trying to relax,” she remarks, drifting near his side and looking at him curiously. “It’s only possible to experience it when you let go.”

Doyoung makes a disbelieving sound. “H-how the hell can I relax in water that’s almost subzero?”

“Easily,” she responds, and grabs the arm closest to her. Doyoung looks at her hand clasping his arm, her long nails poking the material of his sweater.

“Oh...whoa. What?” Suddenly the cold is draining from his body, replaced with a warmth similar to that of a day during the height of spring, and the water around him is equally warming up. “Are you—? Doing that?”

“Everything isn’t pseudoscience,” she says. “And don’t worry, this isn’t one of those spells you told me not to do on you anymore.”

Doyoung grumbles at that but puts the skepticism to the side for a moment because there’s no other way to justify what’s happening. He gives a sincere effort to relax now that his mind is off the water temperature. He spends a few long minutes with his eyes closed, attempting to mentally sink into his surroundings. What does it even mean for water to be a healing thing? Should he try to interact with it? Run his fingers through it? He thinks that he’s lucky no one he knows is out here to see him make a mockery of himself.

Still, he struggles to loosen up. “I can’t,” he sighs, and almost pulls away from the mermaid in irritation before remembering she’s the only thing keeping him warm right now.

“That’s fine. It doesn’t always come on the first try,” she reassures him, which he doesn’t expect.

“And how many times would I need to try before it worked?”

“However long you need; it’s different for everyone.”

Doyoung sighs and starts making his way back to dry land. When her hand slips from his arm, the warm sensation lasts only a few lingering seconds more before flowing away. “Th-that’s not very reassuring. Or believable.”

“So you say,” she murmurs, watching him shiver like a leaf and clumsily hop back in his shoes. Then she brushes her hair away from her face and holds her head up. “Well, you know where to find me. If you want to try it again—and I really do mean try—”

“What if you’re not here that day? Do you really stay by these rocks every day? Am I supposed to look for you?”

She cocks her head, raising her eyebrows. “So far, I’ve been here every time you are.”

It’s an inconsequential thing to nitpick about, he knows, but he feels ridiculous and downtrodden for not being able to do something he’s not even sure he believes in, and that frustration must go somewhere.

“Right,” he mumbles, knowing she’s correct despite himself.

“Go home and rest.” She looks at him for a few moments before sinking beneath the water, and he can’t get that look out of his mind on the walk back to his house. It’s the look of someone who does not pity you per se, but who sees you as something worse—something weak and vulnerable and amusing. Like prey, maybe.

–

When Doyoung gets home later that night, his parents make a stir about the state he’s in.

“Why are your clothes wet?!” his mother asks, looking at him aghast. The sound of the door shutting brings her out into the foyer, and she is shocked by the sight of her damp and depressed-looking son.

Doyoung shakes his head, already feeling tired at what’s to come. “It’s nothing. I just...fell in the water. I’m fine.” What did he say that for? That admission only makes his mother more panicked, and it’s enough to bring his father and brother into the hallway too, watching in confusion and alarm.

“You’re fine? How could you be so careless? What if something had happened to you on the rocks, or you couldn’t regain your footing in the water—” His mother’s words break off as she rubs her forehead, lines of distress creasing her features.

The words splinter him on the inside. She is not wrong, but he feels babied, infantilized, and it makes him irritable all over again. He doesn’t need or want another reminder of why he can’t do anything right, can’t do anything to preserve his own life or anyone else’s—

“Maybe it’s not safe for you to keep going to the beach alone. And so late at night...at least take someone else with you next time,” his father suggests.

“I don’t need anyone to accompany me to the beach,” Doyoung protests. “I’m a grown adult.” A scratchy discomfort scrapes at the inside of his chest, but the statement turns weak and soft at the end at the worry in his mother’s face. There are tears in her eyes, and a few have already rolled down. Those little droplets give him pause before he can think to make any other argument.

“You may be an adult, but…” His mother chokes back a sob. “Between things like the car accident and the ongoing disappearances, how can you expect me not to worry? What can you say to that?”

“We are trying to look out for you, Doyoung,” his father reiterates. “No one wants to see another…” He stops himself before saying the words, sighing deeply and rubbing his chin. “Just consider it, please. Be more careful.”

“I will.” Doyoung’s reply comes out as a whisper. His mother takes one of his hands between both of hers and squeezes it, and he reluctantly squeezes back, feeling lifeless and guilty about his earlier reaction.

After that, he trudges up the stairs to shower and change. His family’s eyes follow him up the steps with varying expressions of sadness and concern. The guilt does not leave him until he crawls into bed that night and falls into a deep sleep.

In the morning, Doyoung is relieved to not have had another bad dream. His mind remains thankfully dark and empty until he wakes up. And he knows it has much to do with the pearl he’s had clutched in his palm throughout the night.

nine. the great outdoors

you already have a piece of my heart which i have never given to you

October comes in the blink of an eye.

At the beginning of the month, Doyoung goes on a camping trip with Gongmyung, Xiaojun, Seulgi, and Joy. It wasn’t his idea—his brother’s, really—but he decides to go along with it. He figures they could both use the distraction and the change of scenery. Oddly enough, he actually finds himself missing the possibility of being able to go to the beach during the days they’ll be gone. Maybe he’s finally gotten used to the place.

Is it really the beach he misses, though?

Doyoung doesn’t want to entertain the other thought, his stomach twisting into a knot at the idea of the mermaid. He doesn’t know whether to be annoyed or fascinated by her. But he keeps going back to that specific part of the beach when he could go anywhere else and reasonably dodge her. She gives him something else to talk or think about other than the accident, and he is beginning to feel a strange sensation—some sense of familiarity—whenever he sees her there.

Either way, he should probably stop thinking about her before one of the others gets concerned about why he’s even more spaced out than usual.

Doyoung lets those thoughts drift away on the trip to the camping site, which is an hour away. He leans his head against the window and keeps his eyes closed for most of the trip, listening to his Discman. Seulgi sits on the other side of him, with Xiaojun next to her quietly telling her about some book he’d been reading recently.

The camping site is a quaint place. Not so wild that it’s deep in the middle of the wilderness, but still forest-y enough to make it feel like a real camping trip.

Joy throws an arm around Doyoung’s shoulder after they get out of the van, breathing in the woodsy air and smiling softly. “It’s nice here. Kinda reminds you of our old camping trips?”

Doyoung cracks his first smile of the day at that memory, though it’s abruptly colored with a wash of blue as he remembers similar trips with Haechan—few and far between, but still worth emblazoning into his mind. Still, he keeps his smile up in front of her, not wanting to worry her or make her feel bad. “Yeah...and how you’d always go running at the first bug you saw.”

“That’s not gonna happen. I’m not a little girl anymore, and I’m not giving you more footage to laugh at with your friends.”

“I think Gongmyung still has that video on his old camcorder,” Doyoung remarks, smiling at the blush on her face at the remembrance of that embarrassing footage.

Joy has been the best at treating him the same as usual, not constantly trying to remind him of the grief or alternatively forcing him to not think about it, and he’s thankful for it. It makes him feel like his life is a little less upside-down.

In general, it’s easier to relax here among old friends who know him well—and even with Xiaojun, who’s still fairly new to their group.

Later that night after the tents have been set up and the fire has been adequately stoked, they share sandwiches and chips and other food around the flames. Afterwards, they roast marshmallows until they’re a pretty toasty brown, perfect for s’mores.

“It would be fun if we had some entertainment,” Seulgi says, and she eyes Xiaojun with a mischievous smile as she speaks.

“What about ghost stories?” Gongmyung suggests, which makes Joy shudder.

“That’s scary! And I’m not sure Joy will be able to handle it.” Seulgi giggles. Joy sticks her tongue out at her. “I was thinking more like...music, maybe?”

“I think she’s implicating me,” Xiaojun speaks up, blushing slightly.

“Yes! Pleaseee, if you don’t mind? I know you brought your guitar.”

Despite Doyoung being familiar with Xiaojun’s involvement in their school’s theatre program, he’d never heard the other man sing before. He raises his eyebrows, interest piqued.

Xiaojun gets his guitar out from the van and carefully takes it out of its case like it’s a newborn baby. Joy and Seulgi watch with barely concealed excitement as he tunes it. Their faces light up like they’re about to witness their very own little brother play at a school recital, both girls sitting on the edge of the log they’ve turned into a makeshift bench.

“Okay, me and one of the guys from theatre are putting together this song—Gongmyung, you know Kun, right? it’s like a duet—and it’s not complete yet, but here’s what we have. It’s called Back to You, by the way…”

--

The second day of their camping trip is filled with exploration, more singing, and some not-so-great attempts at fishing in the lake. Xiaojun is the only one remotely successful at catching any fish, which Doyoung is admittedly not surprised by at this point.

By the time the sun sets, they have another fire going strong and are huddled around it telling scary stories this time—by Gongmyung’s suggestion, of course.

Everyone’s a bit too unsettled to go to bed right away, but when it gets past 1 a.m., they eventually make their way into their tents.

The two girls tent together while Doyoung, Gongmyung, and Xiaojun sleep in the other one a little ways away from them.

Before falling asleep, Doyoung unzips his hoodie pocket and slips a hand inside as he lies in his sleeping bag. He finds the pearl there, and he skims the pads of his fingers over it. He’d almost forgotten about it, not needing to use it while being caught up in the fun of hanging out with the others. Its smooth surface quickly warms up as he brushes his fingers across it. A warm, hazy fog drapes over his brain as his eyes drift shut.

Doyoung wakes in the middle of the night with the urge to pee and realizes Xiaojun isn’t there; the flap of his sleeping bag is neatly peeled back, but he’s not in it. This sparks curiosity in Doyoung. He climbs out of the tent, careful not to jostle his brother, and finds a spot far enough away from the tents to do his business without worrying about being jumped on by some wild animal.

He’s about to head back towards the main campsite and attempt to look for Xiaojun when he hears a noise. Standing still and listening for a while longer, he realizes it’s not just a random sound of leaves rustling or the wind blowing; it’s a voice.

This place isn’t that deserted—maybe there’s another group camping nearby. Still, the unknown voice sends a chill up his back, and the scary stories they told earlier doesn’t help. Despite the option of going back to the tent, he heads further out to find the source of the noise and see if it’s anything they’d need to be concerned about. He keeps a light foot as he does, careful not to possibly alert the other person to his presence.

Following the sound leads Doyoung back to the lake. He keeps to the shadows of the trees as he edges closer, and he is shocked to see Xiaojun crouching there at the bank where the dirt and sand meet the water.

He is not alone, either.

There’s someone else there with Xiaojun, though the last thing Doyoung expects to see is that same glimmering tail, its wide, curving fin, and the flash of the mermaid’s sharp teeth as she smiles at the younger man.

Why is she here? How is she here? How would she have known to find Xiaojun all the way out here? Or Doyoung? Seeing this scene, though, Doyoung realizes quickly that he isn’t the one she’s come looking for.

He’s still a bit too far to hear their conversation, especially over the noise of the night insects and animals. He doesn’t think he needs to hear it to guess what’s going on, with how their bodies lean towards each other in a way that speaks of familiarity. Intimacy.

Doyoung cannot fathom why he feels jealous of this—or of the kiss they both share and the way Xiaojun’s fingers curl into that black hair. A kiss with teeth so sharp can’t be pleasant, Doyoung tries to convince himself, and he is a fool and a glutton for punishment, and yet Doyoung mentally superimposes himself into Xiaojun’s place anyway, if only in the furthest reaches of his subconscious.

He goes back to the tent confused and disgruntled, reimagining that kiss until it’s the only thing he sees when he closes his eyelids. Later, he registers Xiaojun’s body next to his as the other man climbs back into the tent; he doesn’t know how much time has passed between Xiaojun returning to the tent and when he first discovered Xiaojun with the mermaid. Doyoung pretends to be asleep, his back turned to the younger man.

He forgets about the pearl in his pocket entirely. Otherwise, he’d have used it to get a more peaceful night’s sleep.

-- 

Their last few days in the forest go by relatively peacefully, and it’s a welcome break from life in the center of the city. However, Doyoung can’t completely rid himself of the twinge of jealousy he feels when he thinks back to that night or interacts with Xiaojun.

That makes him feel guilty. He wishes he didn’t, but he doesn’t quite understand it, either. Why didn’t Xiaojun tell him on the boat ride, or during any of the other times they’ve talked about mermaids and other strange sea legends? Doyoung wonders how long the man has been keeping this secret; making that first realization that mermaids are not just myths is no small thing to keep to oneself.

Perhaps it’s really none of his business. He, too, holds plenty of his own secrets tight to his chest.

All Doyoung can think about is what he might say to the mermaid the next time he sees her.

ten. so inviting, i almost jump in

i don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch everybody wants you everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

Despite the mermaid’s past words, she isn’t always there when Doyoung comes to the beach. Those days disappoint him—make him feel like the trek to this rocky, chilly place wasn't all that worth it. After the camping trip and their return to the main part of the city, he doesn’t see her for nearly a week.

When she randomly appears again one evening, his heart leaps into his throat, which shocks him.

“Doyoung,” she greets him, peering at him from behind a small boulder. Her fingernails tap against it in a rhythm he doesn’t know.

Her bottomless black eyes immobilize him. “Uh, hi,” he whispers.

She doesn’t say anything else after his greeting—doesn’t feel the need to. For a while, he doesn’t speak either. Until...

“You know Xiaojun.” It takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to work himself up to say this. He just sits there watching her swim for a while, her green scales shining under the moonlight and long hair trailing behind her, before speaking.

The mermaid stops swimming, and her face changes. The difference would be almost imperceptible if he hadn’t been staring at her the whole time. Then a small smile graces her lips. “I do.”

Doyoung’s mouth works silently, but he doesn’t know quite how to proceed. He wasn’t expecting this blunt response, but maybe he should know her better than that by now. “How?”

“Xiaojun is mine. That is really all you need to know.”

“Yours. As in, your latest dinner?”

“I would never. Though I am beginning to wonder if you have cannibalism fantasies with how much you talk about humans being eaten.”

“Shut up.” The glare she gives him is enough to make him regret his words; he shrinks away from her. “Sorry.”

“He’s nice. I like him quite a lot. He’s a...very romantic person.”

“Romantic,” Doyoung repeats. “So then, it’s that kind of relationship.”

“Are you envious?”

Doyoung immediately snorts as if he thinks the idea is sheer ridiculousness. He finds his cheeks heating up, though, when that familiar bitter emotion begins souring in his chest and stomach.

She has already peered inside his dreams by way of some “magic” he can’t even begin to comprehend, so he’s not sure if he can hide anything from her.

He attempts anyway. “It just surprised me. That’s all.”

“Did he tell you about us?”

“No, I...saw you two. At...the lake.”

“Hmm.”

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“No reason to be. He told me where he’d be, said he’d be camping with his friends, in case I wondered where he was. Told me I was free to come see him. I came to see him. I knew you’d be there. I did not realize you’d be spying, though.” Doyoung opens his mouth to speak but then pauses. “Are you sad I didn’t come for you, Doyoung?”

Doyoung blushes harder. “No. I just…”

“Or maybe you just wanted Dejun all to yourself? He really is a cutie, you know; he’s told me himself how people are always flirting with him…” Doyoung scoffs at that, turning his face away for fear of her saying he looks like a tomato or something just as ridiculous.

“I don’t know what games you’re playing,” Doyoung blurts out. “You knew about both of us and didn’t say anything.”

The mermaid leans her head against one of the rocks, her eyes fluttering like she might fall asleep from this conversation. “I didn’t see a need to. What I choose to do with either of you isn’t the other’s business...unless I make it so.”

“Are there more?” Once again, the words tumble out without his control.

“How brash.” The mermaid grins. “No. But would you even believe me?”

Doyoung groans and puts his head on his knees, feeling incredibly silly at being played by a mermaid. And what’s even more embarrassing—there is no tangible relationship between them, barely even a touch other than that time she’d led him into the water. Certainly no love confession or anything of the sort. What did he really have to be mad over?

“I feel like a fool,” Doyoung says quietly.

“Yes, I tend to have that effect on men. But…if you’re very upset about it, and with me, then I can leave you alone from now on. Let you resume your normal human life.”

Doyoung’s head shoots up. “What? No. I never said…” The idea of another person leaving him so unexpectedly grinds against his nerves like metal on metal, stirs up raw fears, makes the back of his neck sweat.

She simply smiles back at him, already knowing how he must feel about her suggestion. “Then, shall I stay?”

Doyoung looks away from her, chewing his bottom lip. Some part of him knows she’s holding his fear of abandonment against him, but he feels too weak and too alone to push back against it. “If that’s what you want.”

“But is it what you want?”

It takes him a few moments to part his lips and make himself give voice to it. “…It is. Yes.”

The mermaid spreads her arms out in the water, gesturing to the space around her with gleaming, voracious eyes. “Then here I will remain.”

eleven. love bites

love bites, love bleeds it's bringing me to my knees

Xiaojun visits the mermaid late one night to give her a present.

He doesn’t go to the beach this time, or even the lake, but a far-off lagoon that not many people know about. It’s one of the many bodies of water in their city that connects to the ocean, so there’s always an easy way for her and the other mermaids to get there.

His gift for her isn’t wrapped in any special bows or sparkly papers—just a black tarp. Once he gets it out of his truck, he drags it carefully across the dirt and sand, the parcel being a bit too heavy to comfortably carry.

She swims up to their small meeting place a few minutes after he gets there; he sees the green of her scales glittering in the water as she swims close to the surface. When she surfaces, she pushes herself up onto the shore until she can’t go any further. Xiaojun is already there to meet her as he always is, uncaring of the cold water at his feet. His shoes remain abandoned in a dry spot further back on the lagoon’s shore, his jeans rolled up above his ankles.

“My love.” The endearment is a prayer on his lips—the first drops of water after 40 days in the desert.

“Dejun.” She reaches out to touch the side of his face, and her fingers leave wet streaks on his skin. He unconsciously pushes his face further into the press of her palm, the movement being a muscle memory at this point, and they lean towards each other at the same time to share a kiss. Xiaojun comes away with the taste of saltwater on his lips.

Xiaojun turns to the black tarp and begins carefully pulling it apart. She observes him with a tiny smile on her face.

“Do you remember mentioning Doyoung...one of the guys you talked about from your camping trip?” she asks him as he works.

“Uh, yeah...what about him?”

“What do you think about him?”

Xiaojun’s spine stiffens, and his actions falter for a few moments. He hopes she is not implying what he thinks. “Why do you ask? Do you...know of him?”

“He comes to the beach all the time. We have talked often. I’m surprised you haven’t run into each other, at this point.” That revelation stirs jealousy in Xiaojun, though he tries to suppress it. He knows she’s claimed him as her own, but she has never allowed the same kind of ownership over her, remaining free to do whatever she wants with whoever she pleases.

He thought he didn’t much mind this arrangement over the last two years. But knowing the other person is Doyoung, specifically, makes him feel oddly inferior. How can he measure up to a man like that—one who is older, more accomplished, and apparently interesting enough to be one of the few men to hold the attention of the mermaid Xiaojun’s been in love with for so long?

In front of Doyoung, he could not help but feel like a clumsy teenager again. He initially thought he’d done a decent job of impressing the older man with his knowledge of boats and the marina and the mermaids, but ultimately, he wasn’t sure how much that stuff would really matter to a man with a soon-to-be degree in something as prestigious as Information Security. Doyoung was someone who’d already done his time in the army and came out more mature for it. Someone who seemed a lot more…adult than himself.

“Is...that why he was asking about mermaids?” Xiaojun asks, though he’s mostly talking to himself. “Then why pretend…?” Maybe it’s better that Doyoung does pretend. The further he keeps his distance from this odd web Xiaojun and the mermaid have woven, the better. He is not confident things will stay that way much longer, though.

“Does that displease you?” the mermaid asks, staring at his back as he keeps it turned to her.

“No, I…I understand what’s between us.” Xiaojun swallows. “Were you planning on…?”

“No, not that. Not with him. He’s interesting. I’ll keep him around—if he’s even the kind that can be kept, that is. He’s still quite independent. That’s admirable in it’s own little adorable way.”

“I see…”

She laughs. “You don’t have to act unaffected about it if you aren’t. I know how you men can be.”

Xiaojun shakes his head. “Nothing you do can bother me. I’ve gotten used to much worse things.”

Finally, the tarp is peeled completely back to bear the gift Xiaojun procured for her. The dead body lies unblinking and still within the black material, the man’s clothes stained with blood from his stab wounds.

“Oh, perfect, perfect,” the mermaid purrs, leaning in closer to study the stranger’s features. She slides a hand up the man’s arm. “The skin is even still warm. You did well, Dejun.”

Xiaojun sits back in the sand and watches as she lowers herself on top of the man’s body, her long tail leaving slime behind, her face level with his chest. She strokes her hands across the man’s body for a moment as if memorizing every clothing detail, hair follicle, and imperfection, before opening her mouth wide and biting a hole into his chest, right where his heart should be.

Though Xiaojun has gotten used to the sneaking around, the lying, the preparation of the bodies, and even the killing itself, this part always manages to turn his stomach. (She has told him before that eating the heart gives her a taste of that person’s memories, fears, and loves—everything that makes them human. On most days, that vaguely unsettles him. On some precious few days, he wonders what it might be like for her to know him wholly in that way, for them to meld completely as one.)

Still, there is something darkly appealing about her when she’s in this carnal state, feeding both for necessity and for the pleasure of it. Knowing that she is capable of this but still keeps him around instead of turning him into just another meal, and that she trusts him with procuring her food and maintaining their secret, makes him feel worthy of her.

So, he forces himself to watch as she scoops the man’s heart out and bites into it as if it were a soft pastry, the blood leaking down her chest, hands, and arms. The tarp catches most of it, but the rest will be washed away by the lagoon’s waters either way.

And when she is done, he helps her drag the body into the water like they have done many times before—the ritual ingrained in his mind at this point—so the other mermaids can feed on the remains. The scent of blood in the water will attract them soon. They will leave no evidence behind once their feast is devoured. Even the bones are woven into pretty necklaces and earrings and bracelets, worn mostly by the mermaids who stay far below the surface.

“Thank you, Dejun.” The water has washed away most of the blood on her brown hands, but he still tastes the metallic intensity of it in her mouth when she cups his cheeks and kisses him, and it makes him nauseous. He refuses to show this to her, instead returning the kiss fully.

He places a hand on her tail, feeling the slimy, smooth scales and the grit of sand underneath his palm. “Anything for you.”

twelve. full moon

Doyoung has yet to explore the cove on the beach, finding it a bit too insular and creepy for his tastes. The rocks and the tide pools have become his frequent hangout spot at this point, and he…doesn’t love them, but there is always some comfort in familiarity. However, he goes to the cove now at the mermaid’s request; she’d asked him to come specifically on this night during one of the other days when they were spending time together. The thought of being so obedient to her whims makes his cheeks flush. He’s not sure why he feels so compelled to do what she asks of him, but he can’t deny that she has carved out a space in his mind.

The moon is full tonight, and it provides enough light to make him feel less nervous about being at the cove, though not quite enough to make him completely let his guard down. He has a sudden, surprising thought that he’s not actually sure if he’s more afraid of the cove or of her. It seems stupid. Despite his half-joking quips about mermaids eating humans, she’s never shown any real intent of harming him.

Doyoung rubs his pointer finger over the pearl in his jean pocket, and it works to soothe his fears.

When he makes it to the cove, three things shock him at once.

She is wrapped in a blanket, and though it is cold outside, this is still unexpectedly odd to him.

Her tail is not poking out of it like he’d expect; instead, there are two fully formed human legs.

Xiaojun is sitting beside her.

A lantern provides extra light inside the dim cove and casts a warm glow on their faces. Xiaojun doesn’t seem particularly surprised that Doyoung is there, though his expression couldn’t really be called ecstatic, either. The mermaid is leaning her head on his shoulder, though she lifts it up once she notices Doyoung.

“What is he doing here?!” Doyoung blurts out.

“I wanted you both to be here for once. You’re always visiting me separately,” she answers, standing up to face Doyoung. “I’m surprised you’re not more curious about the legs, really.”

The mermaid steps into the cove’s entrance, dragging the blanket behind her, and Doyoung watches her with intrigue as she walks. There’s nothing awkward or inexperienced about her gait, even though she spends most of her time with a fish tail. The blanket falls open a little from where she holds the two sides of it together, and he looks away abruptly, his face burning as some of her lower half is bared to him.

“I—um. Okay. How do you have...legs?”

She points her finger to the sky, and as Doyoung turns his head, he realizes she’s gesturing at the full moon. “The moon and the sea are tied together, right? During full moons, things become possible that you normally wouldn’t foresee. It only lasts for as long as the moon is in its full phase, night or day.”

Doyoung doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just nods dumbly with his mouth open. He’s not sure he’ll have cause to call himself a healthy skeptic for much longer.

She grasps his hand and pulls him in the direction of the cove. His feet move a little slower than hers, but he allows himself to be guided as Xiaojun watches them with almost plaintive eyes. “Sit,” she says, sitting down beside Xiaojun again and pulling on Doyoung’s hand for him to join. He realizes belatedly that there’s another blanket underneath them, so at least he won’t get sand all over his jeans.

“Hyung,” Xiaojun says by way of greeting.

“I guess you’re used to this,” Doyoung says, his eyes drifting over the entirety of the scene in lieu of expanding on what this is. “You didn’t say you knew any mermaids.”

“Well, neither did you.”

“Okay, well...that’s true,” Doyoung huffs. “I just thought…maybe you’d think I was insane if I said it.” And maybe he just wanted to have something he could keep to himself.

The mermaid laughs at this, though it comes out more like air whistling through her nose. “Dejun is obsessed with the ocean. If anyone would believe you, it’s him.”

“I see…”

A quiet falls over the three of them. Doyoung tries not to feel awkward in it, but he doesn’t know what to say or do, if anything. The mermaid goes back to resting her head on Xiaojun’s shoulder and rests her hand over top of Doyoung’s. Doyoung’s fingers twitch at the proximity. A few long seconds pass before he rearranges their hands so he can hold hers properly. He’s never touched her like this before, but her allowing him to do so now makes him yearn for more of it.

He doesn’t know how much time passes. Maybe just a few minutes, but it feels longer than that. He finally decides to break the silence.

“Do you...gain legs every full moon?”

“Yes. Many of the mermaids would rather not switch, preferring the water, but I like the duality of it.”

She rearranges herself to lay her legs across Doyoung’s lap, and her hand slips from his as she does. He’s a bit disappointed about that, but that’s quickly replaced by surprise.

“Touch them if you want.”

Doyoung glances at her. When she looks at him expectantly, he brings one of his hands to her shin and glides his palm over it. He’s not sure what he was anticipating, but they’re just like human legs. He wonders what happens to her tail whenever she’s like this. He still has a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of “moon magic.”

She moves away from Xiaojun, and both men watch as she leans closer to Doyoung, touching the side of his jaw. Doyoung’s throat tightens at their increased nearness and those burning black holes for irises. “Do you want to feel good?” she asks him in a whisper.

“F-feel good?”

“You’ve been hurting so much, for so long. You deserve to feel good for a while.” Then she adds, “That’s all I want to do. I’m not trying to ‘fix’ you. Only time and acceptance can mend any pain.”

“I...” Doyoung wants to hesitate, but all at once, he acutely feels the weight of everything that’s been weighing on him for the past couple of months. He is incredibly tired of pretending to be okay when he is not. Tired of going in circles about how to move on, how to “let go” of a magnitude of hurt that he’s barely begun to comprehend for himself. For a while, it would be nice to simply forget and untie himself from his mind. Lose himself to the physicality of just being. “Okay.”

“You’re positive?” she asks again. “We won’t do anything you don’t want. We can stop whenever.”

“Please.” There’s a note of desperation in his tone now.

Xiaojun watches attentively as the mermaid closes the remaining gap between her and Doyoung, pressing her lips to his timid ones. Doyoung’s eyes flutter closed as he leans into it, reciprocating the movements of her lips. It is the kiss he’s been deeply longing for, yet did not allow himself to consciously imagine. He finds that her teeth aren’t painful on him as he’d thought they’d be. Her kiss is deceptively gentle as she suckles his top lip and the curve of his cupid’s bow. She lets her tongue teasingly slip into his mouth, but only momentarily.

A soft moan comes from Doyoung. The older man almost forgets Xiaojun is there until he hears a shifting noise that isn’t coming from either him or the mermaid. She pulls away from him then and turns to Xiaojun, who’s looking at both of them with an expression Doyoung can’t decipher. Then she kisses Xiaojun the same way, and he relaxes into it almost instantly, clearly having done this with her on multiple occasions.

She still keeps one hand on Doyoung’s and leads his hand to the gap in her blanket, pressing it against her breast. His breath hitches at the feeling of her warm skin against his, and it’s as if his brain short-circuits; he doesn’t know how to react for a moment.

Then, tentatively, he comes closer to her, bringing his mouth to the side of her neck, brushing her curly hair away from her shoulder with his other hand. He pauses there for a moment, running his fingers over the softness of her neck and shoulder and the firm bone of her collarbone, before kissing her neck.

With his hand still on her breast, he squeezes it slightly, feeling the nipple harden underneath his palm, and kisses her neck all the way down to where his hand is. More of the blanket falls away from her shoulder as he does, baring her upper half to both men.

Doyoung hasn’t done this in a while, and the movements feel clumsy, but he brings his hand away from her breast and replaces it with his mouth, kissing her soft skin and grazing his lips over her nipples. Her skin smells of the sea, though it isn’t anything overpowering or unpleasant—just like boundless water and the tang of salt. He does the same for both sides of her chest, pressing his lips into her skin repeatedly with the slightest graze of teeth. Her pulse beats steadily underneath his mouth.

He listens to the wet kiss between her and Xiaojun, and something stirs inside him at the sounds of it. He doesn’t know whether to be weirded out by that or not—the fact that witnessing this intimacy between them is arousing—so he tries not to focus on his feelings about it and just remains in the present.

He does not get to listen for long, because she soon parts from Xiaojun—and from Doyoung’s lips searching their way across her breasts, too. She shuffles herself to sit in Xiaojun’s lap, back facing his front, as she pulls Doyoung closer to her by the fabric of his hoodie. Then she slips her hands underneath it, feeling his stomach all the way up to his nipples. Her long nails skimming across the hard nubs makes him shudder, and he feels the beginnings of a familiar but long-forgotten heat rising in the pit of his abdomen.

She eases the hoodie up and over his head and lifts his shirt so she can kiss his chest. One of her hands snakes around to his back as she wraps her lips around his nipple, and she traces her nails over his back and across the vertebrae of his spine. It’s not hard enough to hurt, but enough to have him tensing up and sighing into a moan.

At the same time, Xiaojun’s hands make their way to her waist and hips, sliding over her thighs and then between. Xiaojun’s mouth parts with a soundless moan as he dips one hand further down and feels her slick and hot against his fingers, and he presses further into that soft wetness until it yields for him.

She sighs appreciatively at Xiaojun’s actions, settling herself further in his lap. Her hands drop lower to the front of Doyoung’s jeans, and she undoes them. She rubs her thumb along the line of his boxers, smiling slightly against his skin at the way his abdomen tenses at the tickling touch. She soon slips her hand into the space between his pants and underwear, feeling him half-hard against her fingers.

Her lips travel back up to Doyoung’s neck, and she kisses his jawline tenderly as she keeps rubbing her palm against him, feeling him grow stiffer with her movements. When she finally reaches her hand inside his underwear and grasps him, an airy noise drops from his lips at the feeling of her thumb sliding across the slickened tip and her mouth sucking softly at the hinge of his jawbone.

Xiaojun’s hand presses into her inner thigh to spread her legs a bit further open, and he leans forward to kiss the nape of her neck and down her back even as she kisses Doyoung’s face. Xiaojun tastes drops of saltwater from her dampened hair as he goes. He presses his cheek against her back and his own length throbs underneath her, but for now he ignores it in favor of pleasuring her.

She presses back on him, grinding against his arousal, and Xiaojun moans in response as he curls his fingers deeply inside her.

Though they don’t consciously intend to, the three of them fall into a compatible rhythm together, all rocking and stroking together like waves—her hand on Doyoung, Xiaojun’s hand on her, and her slowly grinding against Xiaojun. Doyoung finds himself getting swept up in it, grasping her hair, tugging her mouth to his, and pushing his hips up into the tight circle of her fist.

Doyoung releases first, spilling over her hand with a soft and high-pitched sound; he is still overly conscious of being outside and tries to keep himself quiet. It is the best sensation he’s experienced in months, and he immediately feels attached to that rush of pleasure—wants to feel it again and again. The mermaid smiles widely, her teeth glinting in the light of the lamp, and licks his cum off her hand. She comes soon after Doyoung, with Xiaojun’s fingers pushing inside her and his palm rubbing against her clit, all while rocking her hips against his hand and tilting her head back onto his shoulder.

When Xiaojun pulls his fingers back, they are wet with her release, and he watches enraptured as the sticky strings of her wetness glisten on his fingers in the lamplight. He moves to bring them to his mouth, but she grasps his wrist. He looks at her questioningly, and his expression turns into a flustered blush when she guides his hand towards Doyoung.

“Taste me.”

Doyoung is equally flustered. He looks to Xiaojun, trying to read his eyes for signs of dissent. To his surprise, the younger man gives him a bashful nod, so Doyoung accepts, letting Xiaojun’s fingers tickle the seam of his mouth and then push inside. The mermaid lets go of Xiaojun’s hand then, letting him maneuver himself as he tentatively shifts his fingers around in Doyoung’s mouth. The wet heat of the older man’s mouth reminds him of how hard he still is, and he groans quietly as his cock throbs.

When both men pull back, the air is thicker than before, more tense. Xiaojun is too embarrassed to hold Doyoung’s gaze for much longer, averting his eyes to the blanket. The mermaid gets off Xiaojun’s lap then, sitting down on the blanket.

“Poor thing. You still haven’t come,” she murmurs, stroking her finger across Xiaojun’s bulge and giggling when it twitches. Xiaojun watches her touch him with his eyebrows drawn together. “Wait a little longer.” She kisses Xiaojun’s bottom lip, then the top one, and pulls away before he can think about reciprocating. “I want Doyoung tonight.” The older man visibly perks up at hearing this, and then feels a little embarrassed at anticipating it so strongly. “Do you want to take it further?”

“I...yeah,” Doyoung breathes out, his stomach warming at the idea of experiencing more of this with her. He is becoming less nervous about the idea of Xiaojun watching them and being present while they have sex; it rouses something in him.

“Take your clothes off,” she instructs him. She turns to Xiaojun. “You too.” Xiaojun does as she asks of him without question, nothing but a small nod to show his acknowledgement as he begins pulling his jacket off. Doyoung hesitates for a moment longer, biting his lip. She looks at him with a small smile, though it’s not a mocking one; his reluctance is cute. “No one’s going to see us, Doyoungie. Promise. Dejun and I have done this plenty of times before.”

Doyoung blushes at that, and Xiaojun makes a muffled noise from underneath his shirt as he tugs it over his head. “Uh...right. Okay...” Doyoung follows suit and pulls his own shirt off, immediately shivering a bit when the cold air hits him.

It doesn’t take much longer for both men to get fully nude alongside the mermaid. Both men’s eyes linger on each other’s bodies for fleeting moments—Doyoung’s eyes scouring over the planes of Xiaojun’s abs, Xiaojun studying the lines of Doyoung’s shoulders and thighs. They’d seen each other in various states of undress during the camping trip, but not as wholly as this, and not within this charged context.

The mermaid lies on her side on the blanket, her hair spreading over the fabric and across her breasts. Propping her head up on her hand, she gestures to both men with the other. “Well, come over here then.”

Doyoung lies behind her while Xiaojun settles in front of her, staring at her with an anticipatory expression. She reaches between her legs, slides her fingers through the slick, and wraps her hand around Xiaojun’s length, listening to the way his voice catches and trembles in his throat at finally being touched bare. Doyoung’s cock twitches where it prods against the back of her thigh, and she shifts her hips closer to his, silently asking him to enter her. So he does.

When Doyoung slips inside her, he gasps at the wet grip around him and pushes further into that heat, wanting to reach the depths of it, adoring the way it envelops him. He grasps her hip tightly.

He rocks into her with his face buried in her neck and hair. He feels completely enshrouded by her, her scent and warmth all around him and seeping into his bones, fusing into them. The noises she makes are soft and sound to him like a song—one made up of his name.

Xiaojun’s moans meet Doyoung’s ears too, lower than hers and a bit breathier, as she pumps his shaft and latches her lips to his neck and shoulder. Doyoung’s hand slips further across her hip, sliding between her legs and rubbing at that bundle of nerves, and a short cry bursts from his lips at how she tightens around him.

With all their legs tangled together and minds clouded with desire, it becomes hard to tell where one person ends and the other begins, and none of them much care.

Doyoung moves his hand to press it to her stomach, leaving barely a centimeter of space between their bodies as he increases his pace and drags his lips over her nape, parting the thick curtain of hair to access the smooth skin of her neck.

“Please...oh, please…” Xiaojun pants, his voice growing more desperate as he sails closer to that zenith of pleasure. He grasps the mermaid’s face to kiss her, and she purrs against his mouth from having both men’s lips on her body at once.

Xiaojun comes with a groan, his tip rubbing against her thigh and smearing cum across her skin, which drips down onto the blanket. His hips twitch as she keeps stroking him through it, milking him until there’s nothing left to give.

Xiaojun shuffles himself down to their lower halves, laying his lips across her stomach and abdomen as he goes, and reaches the swollen little bud that he takes between his lips. The three of them are a messy jumble of bodies as Doyoung thrusts into her and Xiaojun drags his tongue across her clit, and the blanket has been messed up and shuffled out of place by now, sand covering part of it. She doesn’t mind the grit of the sand, but the men might complain about it later.

Then Xiaojun lets his tongue slide against Doyoung’s shaft as if it were an accident. Doyoung’s breath seizes in his chest for a few moments as he savors the pleasure of two very different wet warmths at once.

The mermaid comes with one hand buried in Xiaojun’s hair and the other running against Doyoung’s skin, no clear path in sight—just trying to access whatever part of Doyoung’s body she can from this angle. Doyoung comes a few minutes behind her, clutching her closer to his body and murmuring a broken moan into her mouth as if he can make her feel exactly what he does if he only connects their lips, tongues, and spit.

When their breathing slows and hearts stop racing, Doyoung drifts off to sleep against the mermaid’s chest, and she lets him stay there awhile. They will need to get up soon enough, certainly before dawn to avoid being discovered, but she lets him rest for now; he looks too peaceful to disturb.

Xiaojun crowds in on the other side of her like he did earlier, tucking his head into her shoulder and listening to her breathe. He looks at Doyoung across from him and realizes, despite his own uncertainty and jealousy, that he has come to find a certain affinity for this face—one he has never seen look quite so tranquil until now, even in the deep shadows the lantern creates.

“...Should we tell him?” Xiaojun asks her, his voice miniscule beneath the rushing of the ocean waves outside.

The mermaid shakes her head. “One day, I suppose we will have to. But not now.” She looks over at Xiaojun. “I’m sure you can continue keeping our secret.”

“Of course,” he agrees, his words a rushed breath against her neck.

She brings her hand to the side of his face and brushes her knuckles across his cheekbone. “Good.”

thirteen. spring, 1995

on tiring nights and busy daytimes please make room in your heart for me to rest

“Your hair has gotten so long.”

The mermaid runs one of her hands through Doyoung’s hair, and he shivers slightly at her long nails ghosting down the nape of his neck.

“It has, hyung. You almost have a mullet now.” Xiaojun snickers.

“I know. Should I cut it?”

Her eyes turn big and incredulous. “Absolutely not. It looks good on you.”

“I have a big presentation coming up soon,” Doyoung mutters. “I’ll probably need to cut it anyway. A trim, at least. Just so it doesn’t look messy.”

“What a shame,” she sighs, tracing her index finger across his cheek. “Promise you’ll grow it back out after that.”

“I don’t know, I can’t walk around with my hair like this at an office job…”

“You’re both graduating soon, that’s right,” the mermaid remarks, digging her toes into the grass of the steep hill beneath them. “Being a human is...terribly exhausting.”

“We’ll still make time for you, though,” Xiaojun quickly pipes up. “We aren’t going to abandon you just because we have to go out into the real world now.”

“Of course you’ll make time for me,” she says, and they share a word-filled glance that Doyoung doesn’t notice as he looks in the picnic basket. One that speaks of their long-standing collusion.

When the mermaid has her legs, it is easier for the three of them to get together on dry land. They still cannot be around other people—others would only wonder about her sharp teeth and ask too many questions—but they take opportunities whenever possible to meet in remote places and spend time together. Riding in Xiaojun’s pickup truck to get to this grassy, empty field and its rolling hills was just one of their latest adventures.

Xiaojun smoothly changes the subject, gripping a section of the mermaid’s pale pink sundress between his thumb and forefinger. “I like this dress I bought for you.”

“And this bow I got,” Doyoung adds, playing with one of its bright pink ribbons as it rests in her curly hair.

“Well, it’s all very cute. But you two have made me look like I’m a schoolgirl or something. Humans sure love their strange fetishes.”

“That’s not it,” Xiaojun argues, blushing fiercely at her claim. “I just thought it’d look nice!”

“It does,” she says, casually throwing a leg over his lap. “Relax, Junnie.” She leans against Doyoung as she drapes her other leg over Xiaojun’s lap, and Doyoung enjoys the weight and warmth of her body against his.

Doyoung has turned towards that same weight and warmth numerous times since that night in the cove. She and Xiaojun have passed their hands, mouths, and ardent gazes over him more times than he cares to count, even over the course of that one winter. Just as she said, she was not able to “fix” him and never intended to, but her company was an undeniable form of solace for him. Both of them had, in their own ways, tethered him to a less painful world and helped him piece himself back together. Being in their presence consoled him in the darker moments—along with the pearl.

Doyoung glides his hand across her back, brushing her hair. He remembers how he’d envied Xiaojun for being able to touch and kiss her so freely that day at the lake, how he’d desired to know her as intimately as the other man did. He presses his nose to her temple and breathes her in, that everlasting scent of ocean spray, and closes his eyes as he listens to her and Xiaojun banter with each other. Doyoung thinks he could probably spend forever just like this with these two; no matter how many responsibilities they take on, there must be a way to make it work.

Oh, what a joyous thing it is to have love in the palm of your hand…

...even when you’re in the palm of someone else’s.

[darkandstormyart]

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

**

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

[mmmmulbery]

MULSIE I AM RUNNING AT YOU I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE MER AU

Oh. OH hun I have so much to say abt it where do you want me to start with it

I wrote a lot so if u want to see a whole not really alphabet! Basically 26 facts it's under the read more 💕 but here's some mer au art

A)​ YuzuEi versus terrified and unpaid intern aira shiratori

B) unpaid intern aira shiratori and his pirate boyfriends kohaku oukawa and hiiro amagi who he simply thinks are one person because kohaku is currently penning for both of them

C) Sena Izumi the ocean ensemble square mer rescue operation employee who does not believe mer are real

D) Wataru Hibiki is about the size of 3 football fields and Eichi treads the line between scientifically fascinated and in love (dubious)

E) Tsumugi Aoba the OES executive with the strongest tazer on site

F) Hajime shino the mer Sanctuary receptionist and his barely awake boyfriend who works 9-5 tomoya mashiro

G) turned human au souma not being able to hold his head up and requiring a head brace

H) Kanata is the ecosystem

I) nagisa grabs a helicopter out of the sky

J) yuzuru is over 6 foot tall

K) "I want to kiss my boyfriend but he is so strong and my lips are so strong"

L) young tatsujun at the edge of the Sanctuary with a younger mer hiyori in the distance

M) mama mer tranquilizer gun

N) 7 amongus in the employee lounge.

O) yuzuru and the inflatable t Rex costume

P) tatsumi feeds mer mayoi (literally)

Q) half mer tsukasa passes out at the feet of Leo's computer

R)​ midori​ is still the vegetable boy

S) yuzuru has two Jaws (moray eel)

T) jun is the best pirate captain ever

U) tatsumi had hid leg eaten

V) hiyori wears ship sails as her shawls

W) kasa tori childhood friends, kasa gives tori broken spoons from the estate, tori has the little mermaid cavern of trinkets

X) Eichi HAS BABY BLUE HEARING AIDS BC HIYORI BLEW OUT HIS HEARING

Y) oes also has an elevator.

Z) anzu HR manager (shreds complaints daily)

I had 2 much fun so I did a whole list that accidentally turned into an alphabet so I would cap myself off thank you I am so sorry this is way too much info

[yandere-writer-momo]

I really like all the fantasy and medieval stories you do and I was wondering what roles the Baki characters might have in an AU like that? Like is Kataumi a prince? Is Hanayama some dark rouge king? Is Yugiro a TURD? I’d love to know where you think the characters fit in the best (feel free to do as many as you like). I hope to draw the results for everyone’s viewing pleasure.

So for fantasy creature head canons here is what I identify the characters with:

Baki, Jack, and Yujiro are either Orcs, ogres, or Onis. Something savage and powerful just like them. I’m leaning towards Orcs honestly

Retsu is a unicorn. He’s majestic

Kozue is a freshwater mermaid (she would be a koi fish)💕

Hanayama is a dragon shifter (he gives me dragon vibes. And he’s all black and covered in scars). Probably a dragon king

Shiba is a inugami (and he is Hanayama’s dog)

Katsumi is a werewolf… same with all the karate guys (they’re like a pack)

Jun is a merman (a bull shark specifically… maybe even an octopus)

Muhammed Ali Jr is a werewolf

Oliva is a vampire

Doyle is an incubus

Kureha and Kosho as kitsunes (or elves)

Sukune as a troll or orc

Shibukawa is a tanuki (little raccoon grandpa 😭💕)

Tokugawa is a bakeneko (little cat grandpa 🥹❤️)

Yanagi is a goblin

Dorian is a troll

Spec is from Florida. He is a fantasy creature already (he’s an ogre)

[jeriafterdark]

Junzhe Weekly Tea - #3 (-Nov 21, 2021)

Anyone get little mermaid finding his prince vibes from Gong Jun's photoshoot? Just me? Hahaha, maybe I'll draw a full version of that AU someday.

In this issue, I'll discuss GJ carrying this ship on his back:

1. Gong Jun's Photoshoot

2. GJ won GQ rising actor of the year + 3. GJ sports the Tiffany engagement rings again

4. LV show clowning - hickies and swollen lips

5. AnLe and Oranges

~~~

1. Gong Jun's GQ Photoshoot in the Sea, Nov 15 2021

Everyone was clowning if he'd be in trouble with the Laopo after his photoshoot. Why? Because GQ teased that some male celebrities would be showing off some skin in the ocean~~~ And what did we get? Fully-clothed GJ!

His photos are all over twitter, for example from this user if you'd like to see more. He's a married man now, can't show that much skin! Also, I'm getting major prince and the little mermaid vibes from this photoshoot @@, need a little mermaid!ZZH and prince!GJ AU please!

His lacy white shirt is reminiscent of ZZH's shirt, who also did a photoshoot in the same location (Sanya? i think).

2+3. GJ Won GQ's Rising Actor of the Year / Tiffany Rings - Nov 16, 2021

GJ walked the red carpet and commented that he needs to learn how to model-walk eventually lol. He sported the Tiffany rings again. He wore them on different fingers including the ring finger, but for his short video for GQ, he took the Tiffany ring and put it on his ring finger

He was in a hurry and actually left before his award was called, and they had to call him and let him give his acceptance speech via phone! He was very sorry for having to leave early (we can CPN here that maybe a certain maomao was waiting for him, OR he didn't want to be late for his plane due to covid restrictions, or both?).

BONUS: Junjun is still practicing social distancing with people who are not ZZH, I enjoy me some double standards

4. LV show clowning + hickies/swollen lips:

Some clever and observant netizens saw that GJ's lips were curiously more swollen than usual, and he had a big bruise along his neckline. HMMMM. A certain maosquito probably got to him (this is just CPN clowning, take it with a grain of salt haha)

About the show itself, he wore an adorable denim jacket + pants that were embroided with cute little flowers. He said he really enjoyed denim and thought the embroidery was nice - he seems to really like embroidery. (Remember when he commented on ZZH's goldfish embroidery during the WOH concert backstage special?)

5. Anle and Oranges, Nov 11, 2021

So GJ's filming in Hengdian wrapped up, and some fans came by to support him. Someone in an orange / tangerine? costume showed up and cheered eveyone's spirits! They took pictures and danced around, it was really cute. You could see their face sneaking around alota the photos that day lol. If you don't know, JZP = juzipi (orange peel), it's a nickname used for CP fans of JunZhe. They're known as JunZhepi (junzhe shippers).

I leave you with ZZH waiting in bed, this picture is real, it exists. Who's he waiting for? :>

Thanks for coming and enjoying some tea with me, see you next time!

[kazemiya]

MASTERLIST ヽ(´o｀；

★彡 Fine

Tenshouin Eichi

Tori Himemiya

Wataru Hibiki

Yuzuru Fushimi

★彡Trickstar

Makoto Yuuki

pining headcanons with Makoto

Hokuto Hidaka

Cute couple things between the two of you

How to steal a Princess’s Heart (SMAU)

Subaru Akehoshi

Avoiding your crush

Mao Isara

Mao x gn!reader that is a make up artist during a photoshoot

Getting jealous after attending s/o’s concert

★彡Ryuseitai

Kanata Shinkai

Flowers that I associate them with

Flower shop AU + Kanata

Tetora Nagumo

Chiaki Morisawa

Flowers that I associate them with

Taylor swift lyrics that represent you and them

You were a fan !?!

Cute couple things between the two of you

Chiaki in a relationship

Shinobu Sengoku

Midori Takamine

Short s/o trying to carry them

With a gn! Tall reader

★彡Alkaloid

Mayoi Ayase

Aira Shiratori

Aira with a gn!reader that likes having their hair played when they are stressed

Hiiro Amagi

Getting jealous after attending s/o concert

Short s/o trying to carry them

Pretending to be your lover

Sleeping during cuddling

Tatsumi Kazehaya

Tatsumi with a s/o that spends too much money on him

★彡Eden

Ibara Saegusa

Reader that is oblivious to their advances

You were a fan !?!

Nagisa Ran

Date headcanons with nagisa

Mermaid!Nagisa and fisher!reader

With a painter s/o

You were a fan !?!

Hiyori Tomoe

Jun Sazanami

Going to a cat cafe

Cute couple things between the two of you

★彡Valkyrie

Mika Kagehira

Soothing his sore throat

Shu Itsuki

Flowers that I associate them with

With a painter s/o

★彡2wink

Yuta Aoi

Yuta x gn!reader that is a make up artist during a photoshoot

Hinata Aoi

Hinata x gn!reader that is a make up artist during a photoshoot

Reader that is oblivious to their advances

Sleeping during cuddling

★彡Crazy B

Kohaku Oukawa

kissing headcanons with kohaku

Napping headcanons with kohaku

Avoiding your crush

Reader that is oblivious to their advances

Kohaku with a Ballet s/o

Rinne Amagi

HiMERU

Flowers that I associate them with

Niki Shiina

Flowers that I associate them with

★彡Undead

Adonis Otogari

Rei Sakuma

Sakuma brothers with a sickly, little sister who over-studies herself (platonic)

Kaoru Hakaze

Coffeeshop AU

Koga Ogami

★彡Ra*bits

Mitsuru Tenma

Cuddling headcanons with Mitsuru

Hajime Shino

Cuddling headcanons with Hajime

Nazuna Nito

With a tall gn! Reader

Flowers that I associate them with

Sharing earphones with Nazuna

Love makes us do silly things

Tomoya Mashiro

★彡Akatsuki

Kuro Kiryu

Keito Hasumi

kissing headcanons with keito

Souma Kanzaki

Flowers that I associate them with

★彡knights

Tsukasa Suou

Fake dating + Tsukasa

Flowers that I associate them with

Arashi Narukami

Pretending to be your lover

Soft hours with Arashi and Ritsu

Cute couple things between the two of you

Leo Tsukinaga

Leo dragging you to sleep

Getting jealous after attending s/o concert

Going to a cat cafe

Royal au

Taylor Swift lyrics that represent you and them

Leo and his muse

Izumi Sena

When you think they aren’t listening

Getting jealous after attending s/o concert

Love makes us do silly things

Ritsu Sakuma

Ritsu and matching flower things

Sakuma brothers with a sickly, little sister who over-studies herself (platonic)

Forgotten memories

Soft hours with Arashi and Ritsu

★彡Switch

Tsumugi Aoba

Natsume Sakasaki

College roommates with Natsume

Natsume dragging you to sleep

Studying late in the library with Natsume

Taylor Swift lyrics that represent you and them

Midnight snack runs

Sora Harukawa

★彡MaM

Madara Mikejima