#Louise would be hiding inside

[docgold13]

Batman: The Animated Series - Paper Cut-Out Portraits and Profiles

Baby Doll

Marion Louise ‘Mary’ Dahl was an actress who featured in a very successful situation comedy early in her career.  Dahl was born with systemic hypoplasia, a rare endocrine disease that prevented physical growth.  Even as an adult, she appeared no older than a toddler.   

While her time in the roll of 'Baby Doll' on the show ‘Love that Baby’ garnered Dahl fame, she found getting subsequent acting roles to be extremely difficult.  She wanted to play serious and adult roles, yet her size and recognizability caused casting directors to disregard her.

Over time, Dahl’s anger and depression intensified to the point that she descended into an unhinged rage.  Feeling that the only time she was truly happy was on the set of 'Love That Baby,' Dahl set about abducting the various actors and producers of the show in a desperate, crazed effort to recreate the show. Her ultimately plan was to set off an explosion that would kill her and the entire cast, allowing them to be together forever.  

Batman and Robin investigated the disappearance of the various actors.  With assistance from news reporter, Summer Gleason, Batman was able to identify Dahl as the prime suspect.  Batman tracked down Dahl and rescued her hostages.  

Dahl herself fled to a nearby fairground, hiding inside a funhouse.  There she encountered a hall of mirrors with one of the distorted mirrors showing what she might look like had she been able to grow into an adult body.  

Realizing it all to be fake, just as her life and character was, Dahl shot out all the mirrors before breaking down and weeping.  Batman comforted her until the authorities arrived to take her into custody.  

Actress Alison LaPlaca portrayed the troubled Mary Dahl, first appearing in the ninth episode of the second season of Batman: The Animated Series, ‘Baby Doll.’ 

[russellsppttemplates]

No more internet for you (Pierre Gasly)

Since Pierre seems to be a danger on the Internet, you have to cut the problem from the source

Note: english is not my first language. I'm sorry that I didn't think this had potential at first because the longer I thought about it, the more I wanted to write it as a funny and breezy thing

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

Tw: references to smut

Switching your laptop off at the end of the work day, you tidied your desk and placed your belongings inside your backpack, checking if you had everything before closing the office and making your way out, ready to head home so you could see your boyfriend. You hadn't seen Pierre yet since you left the house early to go to your university office and he had arrived back from Monza around lunchtime if everything went according to the plan he had.

Unlocking your car, you placed your backpack on the back seat, unzipping it so you could retrieve your phone from the pocket it sat in since your afternoon break, bringing it wirh you when you sat on the driver's seat.

Turning your mobile data, you check your personal e-mail, only seeing a few newsletters from online shops you buy from before the notification bar showed that you had a few messages on your group chat with your friends. Making a mental note to try and schedule something with them and Pierre, since he was home for a bit after the triple header, you opened the app to see what they were talking about.

From Anna: I never took you for that type Y/N, you always looked like missionary to me, or maybe some ankle on his shoulder action but never that

From Marie: Nah, I mean, have you seen how Pierre looks at her butt? It's obvious that that's how they like it, even I would do her like that

From Louise: Don't you remember that time that she insisted that she wouldn't wear the tiny bikini bottoms from her favourite set when we visited them? I bet Pierre got handsy and she couldn't hide the marks

You read the messages and did not understand why, all of a sudden, your friends were mentioning your sex life. Did they want any advice? You weren't exactly unexperienced since Pierre liked to experiment a lot in the bedroom and you didn't mind it either, the trust you built on eachother over the years making it a lot easier. Wanting to know what they were on about, you typed a reply.

From Y/N: I love you guys, we've shared our youth together, the good and the bad, but why are we talking about my sex life all of a sudden?

Louise was quick to reply while you saw that Marie was typing.

From Louise: Y/N, dear, please go and see your boyfriend's photodump from Monza

From Marie: if this is the last time we ever have the chance to get a message through to Pierre, please tell him that at least he's going with a good bang in the bag

Opening the Instagram app, you flick through the pictures, seeing him the blue t-shirt you loved so much, specially against his tanned skin, the thermometer picture that you had nagged him about to send you everytime he took it and then a few more from the garage until you reached his Twitter inquiry for what grid position he would start on race day, given the amount of penalties the other drivers had, and pressing to see the comment section, you found the top comment replied by your boyfriend of four years, the damned dog emoji staring back at you as you looked at the screen.

Exhaling, you opened the app the communications service that had installed their service at your shared apartment had provided you with so you would be able to control who got on your WiFi (if there was something that living in student housing taught you was that sometimes people want the things without having to pay for them, and that remained an attention point for you) and blocked Pierre's devices from your shared house's WiFi, deciding that your boyfriend had had enough Internet for the time being.

Just as you were about to turn on the car, your phone pinged with two notifications, one from your group chat and the other from a text from Pierre

From Anna: I could think of worse ways to go honestly, Pierre is a lucky guy, still such a shame to see him go like this though

From Pierre: Mon coeur, I think there's a problem with our Internet connection

Opening your apartment's door, you heard what you assumed was Pierre's feet making their way to the entrance while you took your coat and shoes off, setting then aside as you placed your backpack in its usual place. Pierre stretched his arms to greet you, having not seen you in a few days and having missed you a lot, dropping them when he sees the crease between your eyebrows, "What's is wrong, mon coeur?", he asks genuinely worried. Looking up at him, you pushed your glasses to rhe top of your head, "Why did you go and tell everyone about what we do in the bedroom?", you out it simply, watching how his lips tilted as a smirk made its way into his handsome face that threatened to could your thoughts, "Now the whole world knows Pierre", you tried to reason. Chuckling, he tried to grab your arms, your reaction to step back almost like a reflex, "C'mon baby, it's funny, and at least people won't ask anymore", he smiled "and you and I both know how much you like it", and there was those blue eyes who had a way of persuading you, almost like magic.

"Oh my goodness, what if your family see it? Your mother has Instagram, oh no, no, no", you said mortified, you could deal with people from the internet you'd never see in your life but his mother? That was a no go.

"Mon ange, I doubt that she will get what it means, and even if she does, it's not like she thinks we don't do anything", he said, clearly not as bothered as you by the fact that he was talking about his mother acknowledging your sex life. You were all for "we all do it so we should all talk about it", but you thought it would hardly be a fun conversation to have with the in-laws, 'yeah, sure, I like it when your son has his hands on me like that'. Nope, that is not dinner conversation appropriate. "Besides, aren't you always saying people should be more open about their sex lives and speak about it with no taboo and all", and oh, how much did you want to squish that handsome face into oblivion and make him regret the smart remark. It's true, you had never been shy talking about with friends but the whole internet was a different level.

"Well, we'll see how you like it without Internet for some time", you said as you passed him, sitting on the living room sofa and turning on the TV, making him realise that he had been blocked from the network, as every other device was working perfectly.

Approaching you, he spoke up "it was you! C'mon ma belle, you know I didn't mean it to be a bad thing", he said sitting next to you, "and maybe it's probably not even that bad", he offered, "How would you know? You can't see it because you can't be trusted around the big world wide web", you remarked. Were you really that mad at him because of it? A little bit yes, but honestly it had phased you already. So what, were you going to feel guilty that you had a really good sex life? No. But were you going to have a little fun making your boyfriend work for it? You bet your very nice ass you were, remaining quiet and ignoring his lingering and tempting touches.

Getting up a while later, you headed for your usual evening routine, hopping in the shower since it was hair washing day and you took your sweet time, even taking the opportunity to try the new body oil you had gotten over the weekend before putting you pyjama set on, drying your hair quickly airh rhe blow dryer and applying your night skincare products before making your way back to Pierre.

"I made your favourite for dinner, and I put extra cheese on yours just like how you like it", Pierre said quietly once you crossed the corner to the living area, seeing the table set up simply and yet beautifully, the smell from the food invading your nostrils and hitting you straight in the feels.

"I'm sorry I posted it like that, If I had known it would make you this upset I would have never even thought of it", he said as he grabbed your shoulders, pushing you in for a side hug and kissing your forehead, making you decide to end the act, wanting nothing more than to feel his embrace tight around you. "I'm not upset or mad, I just got caught by surprise I guess. I never thought you'd be that forward about it.", you explained, "if you want to, I can take it down", he offered, "Pierre, once in the internet it will be in there forever. And I don't mind it that much really. At least people know you have someone at home who treats you well", you said, grabbing the collar of the linen shirt he was wearing, tracing the outline of his chest hair that you loved so much. Smiling at you, he finally placed his lips on yours, his hands going straight to your butt and grabbing it so you could be as close to his body as possible.

You were sitting on the sofa after dinner, the news broadcast playing in the TV as you and Pierre looked at your phone screen, "everyone is having a blast imagining our sex life, there are some wild things in here", you said as you pointed out a few tweets and comments around the many posts about your boyfriend's comment, "Well, this one is not too far off, I'd day, seems pretty accurate", he said and you immediately flicked his forehead, "what? We might even get some new ideas from them, we haven't tried something new in a while", he said as he pushed your body impossibly closer to his, kissing your cheek as you kept looking, laughing when someone had come up with a good joke and blushing when things got a little bit too accurate and graphic.

"Goodnight handsome, je t'aime aussi", you said as you snuggled into your pillow once you both went to bed, Pierre settling himself so your back was glued to his chest and resting his arm on your waist, "So you'll let me in our WiFi again?", he pouted, "I'm going to sleep on your case", you said as you grabbed your phone and checked if your alarm was on for the next morning. "That's it", you huffed, "what did they say this time?", Pierre asked as he kissed your shoulder, noticing you had read something on your phone that led you to that reaction "Yuki just sent me the link to buy book called 'Breeding dogs for advanced practitioners'. I don't care if he's small and cute and friendly, next time I see him, he's going down".

[saltygilmores]

@frazzledsoul's poll about the worst possible people Rory could choose to babysit her child inspired a headcanon. I need there to be an episode where the teens of Stars Hollow High/ Chilton are assigned Flour Sack babies for a school assignment. if you're not familiar, it was a common trope in 90's and 2000's sitcoms to have a teacher pair students together for an assigment where they'd care for sack of flour or an egg like a child. Mostly you would just have to carry it around with you at all times during school and not break it, there isn't much else you can do with a bag of flour or an egg child. I think you also had to do some written work to go along with it. I went to a weird alternative school and didn't have anything like this so I don't know everything about it. But it was definitely a real thing that happened in high schools, although these days I think they assign more technically advanced dolls that actually cry and record how long you ignore it's crying and all kinds of other stuff. Someone on the sitcom would invetiably drop the egg or split the sack of flour open leading to hilarious hijinks. Anyway -Paris and Rory would naturally be coupled up to care for their FSB, there would be heated and sexually tense debates over which author to name it after -Paris is already charting FSB's future college plans -Madelyn and Louise decorate their FSB with makeup -Dean would be jealous that Rory was giving her FSB more attention than him. -Dean and Jess would be assigned to parent a FSB together because deep down inside I find the idea of Dean and Jess having to grudgingly tolerate each other at school to be rather amusing. -Look, I'm not gonna Jess-Worship here, Dean and Jess would both neglect the hell out of that thing. I want Dean and Jess to fight over who had to carry it around at school before one of them just abandons it under the bleachers at the football field.

-or, hear me out, Jess and Lane. Lane knows Mrs. Kim would be absolutely scandalized if she got word of this project about REPRODUCTION with a BOY so J&L have to hide it from her and make sure the FSB stays in Lane's locker and meet in secret to write their parenting reports, anyway they end up realizing they have more in common than they thought and like a lot of of the same music, and they grow closer and then make out a lot. If you can think of some more FlourSackBaby headcanons please share them

[abbott976]

The Truth Comes Out

"Just let it drop, T-Bird. Clearly she isn't ready to talk about it yet."

"But WHY?! Why couldn't Louise just tell me?"

Zeke sighed as he flipped another burger on the grill. Tina was beside him prepping ingredients, the two of them covering at the restaurant so Bob and Linda could have a much deserved date night.

Tina had been ranting to him for the last hour because on her way home, she'd seen Louise and Rudy at the local coffee shop. She'd almost gone inside to say hi, until she saw Lousie lean in and kiss Rudy while they waited in line for their order.

Tina had immediately ran to the restaurant and filled Zeke in on what she'd seen, and had been spiraling ever since about why Louise would feel the need to hide that she and Rudy were finally more than friends.

"Does she think we'd judge her?" Tina asked, concern laced in her voice.

"No, I don't think so. I think Louise has just never been great with her emotions. Maybe she's afraid that telling you will make it too real for herself and she doesn't want to mess up a good thing. I mean, we've all seen them. She's clearly liked him for a while," Zeke pondered as he plated a burger and fries. "She'll tell you when she's ready. Just give her time."

Tina sighed. "I guess you're right. I just..I just feel a bit hurt I guess. I mean, Louise and I talked about everything when you and I started dating. She was there through all of it for me and I just...I guess I wanted to be there for her too."

Zeke smiled at Tina as she took the plated food out to the hungry customer. He knew Tina loved her family and that she really valued being able to be close with them and have such a strong support system in them, and it made sense Tina would be a little hurt that Louise didn't reciprocate those feelings on the surface. But Zeke had been around the Belchers long enough to see that Louise cared just as much about her family. She just cared in her own special way.

When Tina returned through the doors of the kitchen with another order, Zeke stopped her, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her forehead.

"I get why you'd be hurt she didn't tell you, but trust me. Louise cares for you just as much as you do her. She just needs time to process this in her own way. She'll tell you when she's ready and then you'll be able to fangirl with each other just like you did about me," he said with a wink.

Tina laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "Yeah I guess you're right. Thanks for listening to me."

"I'll always listen to ya T. And who knows, maybe Louise will be ready to talk sooner than ya think."

Zeke nodded his head toward the restaurant entrance where, at that moment, Louise was walking in with Rudy, holding hands with a bright blush on her face. Rudy looked over the moon while Louise smiled sheepishly at Tina through the window. It looked like it was time for a classic Belcher sister talk after all.

[raewritesfiction]

From The Back [Pedro Pascal]

Plot: established relationship. reader and Pedro are having some fun and he wants to try something new; reader enjoys it very much.

Pairing: female!reader X Pedro Pascal

Warnings: smut. Language. Oral butt stuff (f receiving). Squirting.

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing, however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @jaseminedenise @nikkitasevoli @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @purplerain85

—

Pedro kisses his way over your skin, making sure to not leave any part of you untouched. He had discarded your clothing and nipped his way over you then but this was to make sure every part of you was loved. His hands glide over your form, fingertips lightly scratching over you and leaving light red trails which he then follows with his lips until he reaches the hair on your mound; he buries his face against you and hums low.

You thread your fingers through his messy curls and scratch his head lightly. Somehow no matter how many times he did this you still got bashful and blushy; the tips of your ears still turned a light pink and you still wanted to hide your face from his view when his tongue runs across you slowly and his lips close over you and suck.

He hooks his arms under your legs and slips himself down to lay on his front like a sniper lining up a shot; Pedro looks up under his lids and watches you intently with every lick, every nip and suck. He watches your chest rise and fall, enjoying the sight of your breasts from his position and your nipples hardening before his eyes. His hands cup your ass and he holds you to his mouth while he swirls and laps his tongue over every fold.

Arching and writhing on the bed beneath Pedro you grip the pillow beneath your head and moan his name like a mantra. His pretty mouth pulled you so close to release before he changed the rhythm, he changed the pattern and you were right back at the start again. He really liked to draw things out and have you squirming beneath his touch before finally letting you slip over the edge and scream out his name. By all accounts tonight was no different and you would never complain.

Pedro moves a hand and gently lays your leg off to the side so he could gain better access to you; his fingers teasing around your entrance, tracing along your opening in circles until you were moving your hips to follow his fingers. Just as you thought this was another long play for the teasing, Pedro slips two fingers inside you and curls them against your front wall.

A high whine escapes you when you feel his fingers deep inside you, they curl and scissor and stretch you. They twist and circle inside you in a rhythm you thought only possible from something battery operated. You pull on the pillow and whimper with every pass of his fingers; his eyes are still watching over you and not missing any part of the show you were giving him.

“I want to try something..” he says softly to you. “Do you trust me?”

You nod and moan in answer to his question.

“Use your words babygirl.” He smiles.

“Yes. Yes I trust you…” you manage to speak between pants and mewls of pleasure.

Pedro leans up and withdraws his fingers, flipping you onto your front and lifting your hips until your plump ass was in line with his face and you were comfortably kneeling on the bed.

“If you don’t like it you tell me… okay?”

You swallow thickly “okay..” nodding again as he spreads your legs a little and slowly runs his fingers over your wet pussy. Dipping his head down Pedro locks over you but doesn’t stop before reaching your ass. The feeling was new, different and not entirely unenjoyable.

“…oh… oh!” You blink in surprise and do your best to relax your body again.

Humming quietly Pedro lays his arm around your lower back and licks over your asshole slowly. Listening for any comments or sounds of discomfort. When he hears none, Pedro works his tongue faster, fingers still playing with your pussy and slipping back inside you.

The surprise passes and you find yourself relaxing again, enjoying the new sensations that are running through you. “Feels… really good!” It comes out in surprise and Pedro groans against you, thrusting his tongue and finger alternately.

It takes little time for you to be moaning his name like a mantra once more, this time you’re begging him not to stop. Your hips rock and twist back to Pedro’s tongue and fingers as he works you faster, his thumb circling over your swollen clit.

“Please… please I’m so close!” You pant and whine. Pedro answers with a groan and a spank of your ass cheek.

You stretch your arms out and grip the pillow again, pulling it down so you can bury your face into it, your moans and groans getting louder and more frantic with every flick and thrust of his tongue. Your legs shake and threaten to give out but somehow manage to hold you up as you cum; squirting around Pedro’s fingers.

He pulls away and laps over your pussy, practically drinking your juices as you slowly come back down to Earth. He helps you lay down and shuffle onto your back, laying his head on your lower stomach and stroking patterns on your skin.

“That was…new and…different.” You chuckle.

“Did you enjoy it?” Pedro looks up at you.

“Yes I did…” you nod and blush crimson.

“So I can do it again?” He grins.

“Gimme some warning so I can make sure I’m….prepared.” You smile.

“Deal..!”

[ironychan]

Scary Monsters

@dysphoria-sweatshirt @30spiders @sweatersexual @angrylittlesliceofpizza @writer652

Part 1/? - Rocco’s Closet

Part 2/? - School for Monsters

Part 3/? - The Waternoose Family

Part 4/? - The Terrifying Humans

Part 5/? - Hiding Places

Part 6/? - Nobody’s Fault

Part 7/? - Edge of Disaster

Part 8/? - Caged Monsters

Part 9/? - The Journey Home

About twenty minutes later, Helena Marcovaldo arrived at the door. By then Alberto, Luca, and Harry were seated around the kitchen table, with their rather distracted hostess serving them cioccolata. Harry had ended up standing on the chair, looking rather precarious with his many legs tucked underneath him on the small seat, but he didn't seem to mind. He slurped at the chocolate in delight, and was looking around at other objects in the kitchen with a smile on his face. When Dorotea's mother let Helena into the kitchen, he was thrilled to be meeting a second human.

“Luca!” Signora Marcovaldo said, coming at once to give him a hug. “Santo Tallegio! What's going on?”

“We visited another world inside Rocco's closet,” Luca replied, hugging back tightly. He didn't want to let go. Signora Marcovaldo, with paint-spattered overalls and her unruly red hair so much like Giulia's, was so wonderfully familiar. After those horrible days in the monster world it was almost as good as being back with his own Mom and Dad.

“You did... what?” Signora Marcovaldo asked.

Reluctantly, Luca loosened his grip and sat down again. Signora Molinari gave Helena a cup of coffee, and the boys began to tell their story.

Signora Marcovaldo knew that Luca and Alberto had been missing for a couple of days, because Giulia had told her on the telephone, but nobody had any idea that they'd vanished into Rocco's closet. The two adults looked more and more astonished and skeptical as the boys described how bedroom closets were a portal to another world and the monsters who lived there used screams for electricity... but every time they looked about to protest, they would glance at Harry and say nothing. He was clearly real, sitting there stuffing bombolini in his mouth, and they couldn't argue with that.

“So now,” Luca finished, “we need to get Harry back to his own world, and then we need to help Curtis and Louise. I think we should go back to Portorosso, and then find somebody else who has a monster in his closet.”

“You can't use Rocco's again?” asked Helena.

The boys shook their heads. “His door got wrecked,” said Alberto.

“They'd have to recreate it from scratch,” Harry explained, “and they won't, because he's probably not even scared anymore.”

“It'll be easier in Portorosso,” Luca added, “because people there don't mind sea monsters, so they'll have an easier time getting used to Harry. I think anybody who saw him in Genova would panic.” Signora Molinari had certainly come close. “We need to find a way to get him to the train station without anybody seeing him.”

“I want to see the city!” Harry protested. “It's full of humans.”

“You can't,” said Alberto. “You can see Portorosso, but in Genova you have to hide.”

“I didn't keep you locked up in Monstropolis,” Harry complained.

“You kinda did,” Alberto said. “You put us in that tiny room for the night, and we were too scared to go anywhere.”

“That's your fault,” Harry humphed.

Signora Marcovaldo looked dubious, as if she suspected people in Portorosso would mind these monsters very much. “How can we hide him?” she asked. “I suppose he doesn't do like you two and transform as a disguise?”

Luca and Alberto shook their head.

“How much time do we have? Giada,” Helena said to their hostess, “when are Consalvo and the kids due back?”

“Any moment now,” Signora Molinari admitted unhappily. “I don't know what they'll think when they find him here. It took me years to convince Dorotea the first time that there wasn't a monster in her closet and if she finds out there was the whole time I might never get her to go to bed again.”

“Then we'll have to think of something fast.” Helena looked around the room, trying to get inspiration somewhere. “Do... do you have a baby pram?”

“We do!” Signora Molinari exclaimed, standing up. “Let me find it!”

She dragged the pram out of the attic, stirring up clouds of dust in the process, and found a blanket that could be draped over the top to conceal the contents. Harry rather reluctantly climbed in, and if he settled down with his legs tucked up under him, he just barely fit. Signora Molinari draped a blanket over the top, and the result looked surprisingly plausible. As long as Harry kept quiet, everybody would assume there was a sleeping baby.

They were just in time – when Signor Molinari looked out the window, she found her husband and children approaching the house. Helena grabbed her purse, and the boys fell into step behind her as if they were just leaving. Signora Molinari held the door for them as her family approached the house.

“Lovely to see you as always, Helena,” she said, her voice loud and false. “Oh, and here's Giovanni and the kids! Did you have a good day at the museum?”

“Yes!” Dorotea replied, running up to hug her mother. “Hi, Luca! I thought you went back to Portorosso for the summer.” She looked puzzled as she realized that Luca and Alberto were in their pyjamas, but did not immediately remark on it.

“We just came up to visit,” Luca said quickly, keeping the conversation off their clothes. “This is my friend Alberto. Alberto, this is Dorotea. She's the one who gave me the book about the tomb of King Tutankhamon. This is her little brother, Nino.”

Nino, six years old, waved.

“Piacere! Girolamo Trombetta!” Alberto shook the little boy's hand. If he continued doing things humans thought were weird, maybe they'd assume the pyjamas were just more of the same.

It seemed to work – but he couldn't distract them from the presence of the pram. Dorotea looked up at Helena hopefully.

“Can I see the baby?” she asked. “My friend Bella has a new baby brother, too! Is it a boy or a girl?”

“It's a boy,” said Helena, “but I don't think we should disturb him. He'll be very grouchy. Some other time, perhaps.”

Dorotea looked disappointed, but she and Nino waved goodbye as Luca and Alberto followed Giulia's mother out into the street. Helena breathed out, relieved.

“Are we outside?” Harry whispered from under the blanket.

“Yes,” Alberto told him.

The blanket moved.

“Don't!” Luca hissed.

“I just wanna see,” Harry whined.

“Here.” Luca folded a corner of the blanket back so that Harry couldn't accidentally drag the whole thing off in his attempts to peek out. One of the monster boy's many eyes appeared in the gap, and Luca dropped back a little so that Harry could get a better look around.

“Wow!” he heard Harry whisper.

The city of Genova was certainly very different from Monstropolis. The monster city had been built on very flat land, though with mountains visible on the horizon in the east and, according to one of the maps in the classroom, the ocean somewhere in the west. Genova had mountains to the north and the sea to the south, but the one butted right up against the other rather than the two being separated by a broad plain. The buildings Luca and Alberto had seen from bus and car windows in Monstropolis had been very similar to each other and generally very plain, as if somebody had decided to build as many of them as possible as quickly as they could. In Genova the buildings, arrayed in layers on the hillsides, were all different colours and different sizes, some of them with marker stones to show the date they'd been begun.

“It looks like a city made of Turkish delight!” said Harry. “Hey... is that ice cream?”

“It's gelato,” Alberto told him.

“Be quiet!” Luca urged. There were people around, standing outside shops and houses and talking to each other, or going about other business. Nobody was paying attention to Helena and the boys, but that might change at any moment.

As they passed, Harry turned to take in the freezer of brightly-coloured gelato flavours. The blanket moved, and Alberto and Luca grabbed at it to try to keep it in place.

“Is anybody looking?” Luca asked.

“I don't see anyone,” Alberto told him.

“Then it's okay!” Harry pushed the blanket aside and hopped out, scurrying up to the gelato counter. “Look at them all!”

“Harry! Harry, come back!” Helena hissed. She, Alberto, and Luca gathered around him as he gazed at the frozen treat, trying to shield Harry from the view of the people around him. It was too late, though. The man running the gelato stand had stood up and was looking down at them through a pair of sunglasses, and his pet dog was standing stiff, growling a bit.

“Tino!” the man said. “Basta! Don't scare off the customers!”

The dog, a small brown and white creature with tight curls in its fur, whined and looked up at his master, as if to ask him how he could possibly fail to notice the little monster excitedly reading out flavours. Luca and the others held their collective breath, waiting for the moment the man realized what he was seeing.

“What can I get for you, young man?” the vendor asked.

“That one!” Harry pointed.

The vendor chuckled. “You'll have to tell me the name,” he said. “I'm afraid I'm quite blind.”

Helena leaned on the pram in relief, so heavily it actually tipped back on its wheels. Luca had to grab Alberto so that he wouldn't simply fall over.

“Strac... stracky a...” Harry frowned, sounding it out.

“Stracciatella!” the man said.

“Strachy-a-teya,” said Harry.

“Stracciatella!” the vendor repeated. “Try again.”

“Stracciatella,” Harry got it closer.

“Close enough!” The vendor put a scoop of it in a cone. “It's sweet milk with chocolate.” He wrapped the cone in a paper napkin and held it out.

Harry stood up on the tips of his many legs to take it. “Do you want a son?” he asked.

“That good, is it?” The man laughed. “I'm afraid I already have two, and that's plenty!”

Helena bought gelato for Alberto and Luca, as well, and was handing the vendor a banknote to pay when a father with two children came up to take a look at the flavours. Alberto and Luca quickly moved in between this family and Harry so that Helena could get him into the pram unseen. The father was talking to the vendor and the two girls were staring at the ice cream, so it looked like they might have a chance – until the dog barked as Harry got too close again and the smaller girl looked to see what had scared it.

“What is that?” she shrieked, pointing. Helena quickly spread the blanket over the pram with Harry in it. The girl's father and sister both turned to look.

“Oh, Tino's a lagotto,” the blind vendor said. “He's awfully nervous today, isn't he?”

Tino the dog lay down, putting his head on his paws with a frustrated snort.

“Thank you very much, Sir! Have a nice evening!” Luca called, waving as they hurried away. The younger girl was gesturing frantically as she tried to tell her father and sister that she'd seen a giant spider eating ice cream.

“Don't you dare do that again!” Helena hissed to the blanket. “You were nearly seen!”

“Yeah, but I got ice cream out of it,” Harry replied, his mouth audibly full.

“That was purely to save face,” she said crossly. “Next time it may not go so well.”

Luckily, the gelato seemed to satisfy Harry enough that he was willing to remain in the pram, just peeking out from under a corner of the blanket, for the rest of the trip back to Signora Marcovaldo's apartment. She lived on the fourth floor of a block of flats, and the pram was slightly too big to fit in the tiny elevator, so they had to drag it up the flights of steps while Harry complained they were making him seasick. One of Helena's neighbours paused and offered to help them, but they refused, not wanting him to realize how heavy the pram was.

Finally they manoeuvred the pram down the narrow hallway to number forty-four and squeezed it through the door. For Luca, it was a relief all over again. After living in this apartment for eight months, Luca knew it almost as well as he knew his parents' farm in Portorosso Bay. The little kitchen with the old coffee pot that sat in the middle of the table, the view over the bay, the side bedroom where his and Giulia's beds were. It was all familiar and wonderful.

Nerone the dog came bouncing up to greet them, then stopped short, his ears pricked up and his tail raised. His nostrils flared as he sniffed, and it seemed the corgi would have agreed with his lagotto counterpart in not at all liking what he smelled. The hair stood up down his back.

Luca tried to distract him. “Hi, Nerone,” he said, offering the dog a hand.

Nerone ignored this, and his lip curled as he growled at the pram.

“No,” said Helena sternly to her pet. “Harry is a guest. Luca, put him in the bedroom, would you?”

“Yes, Madame.” Luca took Nerone by the collar and led the little dog firmly into the room he and Giulia shared. Nerone did not want to go, and while he was far too small to actually stop Luca dragging him out of the room, he widened his stance and kept his snarling nose pointed towards the pram the entire way.

“There!” said Luca, shutting the door.

Harry took that as permission, and snatched the blanket off his head. “Whew! I couldn't breathe in there!” he complained, and climbed out of the pram to start exploring the kitchen. The view from the little window immediately caught his many eyes, and he scuttled over to climb up on a chair and look out. “What's that?”

Luca came to see what he was looking at. “Oh, that's La Lanterna,” he said of the lighthouse. “It's four hundred years old.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” Luca couldn't help being eager to share the thigns he'd learned. “Do you have anything that old in Monstropolis?”

“No way,” said Harry. “The whole city's only half that old.”

“There's actually been a lighthouse there longer than that,” Luca added, “but it got old and fell apart, so they had to rebuild it. I've got a book about the history of the city somewhere.” He almost went to go get it out of the bedroom, but then he heard Nerone's nails scratching at the door. If he opened it, the dog would doubtless come barrelling out.

Signora Marcovaldo, meanwhile, had lifted the receiver from her telephone and dialed zero. “Hello?” she said. “Operator? Yes, can you get me Marsigliese's Drogheria in Portorosso? Thank you.”

Alberto and Luca both came a little closer as the phone rang. When Luca was in school, he'd arranged a time to talk on the phone with his parents every week, but calling unannounced was a little more complicated. Massimo didn't have a telephone of his own, so they had to call Signora Marsigliese, who had one in her shop that she sometimes allowed people to use, and he would go and get them.

“Hello, Carolina?” Signora Marcovaldo asked. “It's Helena in Genova. Good news, I've got Luca and Alberto!”

“What?” asked Signora Marsigliese. “How did they get there?”

“It's quite a story,” Helena told her, “but they're both safe and that's the important thing. Here.” She offered the phone to Luca.

“Hello, Signora Marsigliese,” said Luca, and his first question was, “how's Rocco?”

“Rocco? Rocco's fine,” Signora Marsiglese replied. “How are you? He told me his monster took you two away into the closet and that's all I've been able to get from him.”

“She did,” said Luca, “but it's okay, she's actually very nice.”

“Who is?”

“The monster. Her name is Louise, and I think she needs our help right now.”

“What are you talking about?” Signora Marsigliese wanted to know.

Harry had found Helena's birdwatching binoculars, which she kept in a drawer below the window, but was disappointed once he got a good took at them. “Do you have one with more eyes?” he asked.

“I'm afraid not,” she told him. “Two is pretty standard.”

Harry shrugged and fiddled with them, trying to match the spacing to one of his sets.

“We'll tell you all about it when we get back to Portorosso,” Luca promised. “Can you please tell Massimo and my parents that we're coming?”

“Of course, of course,” said Signora Marsigliese. “They'll be so happy – your parents have been absolutely frantic, and the Pescheria has been closed the whole time you've been gone.”

“Really?” Alberto asked, leaning closer to the phone so she'd be able to hear him. “Why was it closed?”

“Because Massimo can't catch fish when he's out combing the bay for you,” Signora Marsigliese told him. “I don't think he's slept, either. I've never seen him so upset.”

Luca couldn't imagine Massimo being upset. Signor Marcovaldo was in very firm control of his emotions, rarely showing surprise or fear or joy even when everybody around him was freaking out. If he were worried enough that people outside his family could tell, he must be very upset indeed.

Alberto clearly didn't know what to think about that. Even after living with Massimo for a year, he still found it hard to believe that his adoptive father was actually that attached to him, rather than just putting up with his presence. He had often thought that if he were to vanish one day, Massimo would probably be relived to be rid of him.

Signora Marsigliese said goodbye and went to spread the news, while Signora Marcovaldo searched for something the boys could wear besides their stained pyjamas. She pulled out some of the clothes she'd bought Luca to wear in the autumn and winter – they were too warm for right now, but at least they were clean. Luca's things were too small for Alberto, so she knocked on other doors in the hallway and eventually managed to borrow something from a neighbour. This did not include shoes, but he was used to going barefoot.

“Do I have to get back in the pram?” Harry whined.

“I'm afraid so,” said Helena. “We can't risk anybody else seeing you.”

“But it was fine,” he complained.

“Only because the man at the gelateria was blind,” Helena reminded him. “If he hadn't been there's no telling what might have happened. Into the pram.”

Harry scowled as he climbed in, and Helena tossed the blanket over the top. She stowed her own bag in the basket under the pram, while Alberto opened the bedroom door just a crack so that Luca could get a hold of Nerone and put his leash on. The dog had calmed down a bit, but was still very unhappy with Harry's presence. The white was visible all around the dark iris of his eyes.

“Does everybody have their things?” Helena asked.

“We don't have any things,” Luca said. “We didn't take anything with us.”

“Sorry, force of habit,” said Helena. “Let's go.”

The area where Helena lived was a quiet part of Genova, and they didn't pass very many people on the street outside. First they dropped Nerone off with a neighbour who had agreed to care for him. Signora Marcovaldo and the boys all gave him some scratches and said goodbye, and Nerone whimpered as they walked away. He did not like that they were leaving him behind and taking away the intruder he was so angry about.

As they got closer to the train station the city became busier and busier, especially as it was starting to be late in the afternoon. Adults were finishing work for the day, and children, out of school for the summer, were running around shouting and playing. Harry, peering out from under his blanket, was transfixed.

“Look at them all!” he whispered. “Where are they all going?”

“Most of them are going home,” said Luca. “A lot of people in Genova work during the day.”

“What do they do?”

“There's museums, there's the trains and buses, all kinds of things,” Luca said. “Probably a lot of the same stuff monsters do when they aren't scaring people. Please be quiet.”

The train station itself was swarming with people, coming and going on the trains or visiting the little shops around it. Since it was hot out, Helena stopped to buy bottles of sparkling water for the boys. Alberto opened his, while Luca passed one under the blanket for Harry.

“What's happening now?” Harry asked.

“We're in line for train tickets,” Luca whispered back.

“There's music!” Harry squeaked as they neared the office. A radio was playing. “I didn't know humans had music!”

“Of course they have music. Everybody's got music,” said Alberto.

“Sssh,” Helena told him. She stepped up to the counter. “One adult and three children, for Potrorosso,” she said.

“The baby doesn't need a ticket,” said the clerk. She took the money and handed them the tickets, and they continued on their way. Luca stood up straight, trying not to look nervous. Alberto seemed to be doing alright, walking with what looked like a confident strut, but Luca recognized that as the other boy's attempt to prop himself up. Helena was not as good at pretending. She was looking around nervously, hunched over the pram a bit. Even when they made it to the platform and sat down on a bench, she remained bolt upright.

“Can I come out now?” Harry asked hopefully.

“No,” said Luca. “There's still too many people around.”

“You can come out in Portrosso,” Alberto added. “Like we told you, people there are used to us, so they can get used to you.”

Luca hoped Harry wouldn't be there long enough for people to get used to him. It would be one thing if Curtis or Louise or Sullivan ended up living there. They were grownups who could look after themselves. Harry was still a kid, and his mother was probably worried about him, just as Luca's parents and Massimo were worried about them. His father might be upset, too. Even if Mr. Waternoose was a jerk, Harry was still his son, right?

The train pulled up. People who'd been going to Genova climbed out, and the far fewer people who were headed east late in the afternoon trooped on. Once again, a man offered to help Signora Marcovaldo and the boys with the pram, and once again, they refused.

“We're managing just fine,” said Helena, false cheerful.

They found a compartment and sat down, and as the train chugged out of the station again, Helena leaned back in her seat, finally relaxing. As the train started moving, Harry pushed the blanket off and climbed out of the pram, standing on the seat to watch the station disappear behind them.

“I've never been on a train,” he said. “When we go anywhere that's too far to drive, we take Dad's private plane.”

“Your father has his own plane?” Alberto asked.

“Yeah. There's nothing to do and it's really boring,” Harry replied, watching the city pass by.

Helena got up and put her bag on the luggage rack, then shut the compartment door and moved the pram so that it would be in the way. It wouldn't actually stop anyone from entering, but it would hopefully slow them down enough that Harry would be able to hide. The train rounded the bay, and soon was chugging along the coastline towards Portorosso. There would be a couple of stops on the way at other small towns, but it would only be a couple of hours and then they'd be home.

Luca had been wide awake during his first train ride, from Portorosso to Genova almost a year ago. There'd just been so much to see along the way, all of it new and wonderful. When he'd gone home to visit at Christmastime, he'd been much more tired after the school semester, and had discovered that the rocking motion and rhythmic sounds of the train were quick to lull him to sleep. This had happened again on the next train ride, and again on the way back for the summer, even when he'd been very excited to get home. Now, after the last few exhausting days, Luca didn't have a chance. His head nodded, and his eyes drifted closed.

“What's that?” asked Harry, pointing out the window to something.

“That's a Vespa,” said Alberto. “Luca and I are going to have one someday. Right, Luca?”

“Uh-huh,” said Luca, his eyes still closed.

“How about that?” Harry wanted to know. “That looks like a scream station! Do humans use scream, too?”

“No,” said Alberto.

“That's a petrol station,” said Signora Marcovaldo. “It sells fuel for cars.”

“Where do they get it from?” asked Harry.

“I don't know. Hey, Luca.” Alberto poked him. “Where does petrol come from?”

“Out of the ground,” Luca said with a yawn. He moved a little, getting more comfortable. The city continued to pass by, and they eventually left it behind and got out into the countryside, where Harry found more things to look at.

“What about that? What's that?” Harry asked.

“That's a goat,” Alberto said.

“What are they for?”

“I dunno,” said Alberto. “The Paguros' goatfish lay eggs you can eat, but I don't think... hey, Luca,” he poked his friend in the shoulder. “Do goats lay eggs?”

“No,” Luca said with a yawn. “I think they give milk, though.”

“Cool,” said Harry. “Hey, what's that one?”

Luca groaned.

Late afternoon slipped into evening, and the train finally pulled up to the station in Portorosso. Reluctantly awake, Luca looked out the window and saw his parents, Massimo and Giulia, and Signora Marsigliese and Rocco standing on the platform waiting for them. His heartbeat quickened and he suddenly felt more alert. This was it! They were home, and he was going to be able to sleep in his own bed that night! He got to his feet, and helped Signora Marcovaldo get her back back onto the rack under the pram.

“In you get,” Helena said to Harry.

“But we're here now,” Harry said, and pointed to Luca and Alberto. “They said the humans here would be okay with me!”

“They said they could get used to you,” said Helena. “We don't want to spring you on them all at once. Get in the pram.”

Grumbling, Harry climbed in, and the boys prepared to help Helena bump it down the steps again. They were spared the trouble, however, when Massimo was there to meet them. He grabbed the other end of the pram to help lift it over the stairs, though he grunted at the weight. With that done, he turned to Alberto and offered his arm for a hug.

Luca didn't get to see the rest of their greeting, because he was all but bowled over as his parents came to scoop him up. Daniela Paguro held her son so tight Luca felt like she would squeeze the air right out of him, especially when Lorenzo joined her from the other side.

“I was so scared I'd never see you again!” Daniela said. “You are never sleeping in a room with a closet again, you hear me? Never!”

“I love you, too, Mom and Dad,” Luca said.

Daniela finally loosened her grip, and Luca was able to turn and see Massimo holding Alberto out at arm's length and smiling at him. Alberto grinned back with his eyes suspiciously watery – but he was spared the indignity of crying in public when Giulia tackled him from behind, putting him in a headlock and scrubbing at his scalp with her knuckles. This left Alberto laughing rather than in tears, and once she'd thoroughly messed up his hair, Giulia moved on to give Luca a much more gentle greeting.

“Are we done yet?” asked Harry's voice from the pram. “Come on, it's hot in here.”

Happy reunions stopped, and people looked at the blanket-covered pram warily. Signora Marsigliese had been told that Luca and Alberto were bringing a friend with them, and that this fried was even more monstery than they were, but until that moment everybody seemed to have forgotten about it. Now it was time to see if people in Portrosso really could get used to a monster.

“Everybody,” said Luca, “this is Harry Waternoose.”

Helena pulled the blanket off the pram.

Daniela yelped and thrust Luca behind her as if to shield him from an attack. Massimo was less dramatic about it, but he did step forward to be between the pram and his children. Signora Marsigliese gasped, and Rocco tugged on her sleeve and pointed as if to say, see? I told you so.

This only lasted a moment, though, and then everybody seemed to remind themselves that just because something looked odd didn't necessarily mean it was dangerous: the very same lesson Harry's father didn't want the people in the monster world learning about humans. Daniela laughed nervously, and offered a hand.

“Hello, Harry,” she said. “Luca always makes such interesting friends.”

“This is my Mom and Dad,” Luca said.

“This is my Dad,” Alberto added, gesturing grandly to Massimo. “And I guess this is my sister.” He stuck his tongue out at Giulia.

“And this is Signora Marsigliese and Rocco,” said Luca. “That's where Louise found us, was in his room.”

Rocco licked his gelato and glared at Harry. He did not feel like being friendly to closet monsters.

“Will you be staying long?” Signora Marsigliese asked Harry cautiously.

“Yes,” said Harry. “I'm gonna find a new dad and stay here forever, just like Alberto!”

[archoniluthradanar]

The love of three kings, Volturi style

When Aro found the broken bird collapsed in the garden, he felt a curiosity that compelled him to take her inside the castle and settle her in one of the guest rooms. He looked down at her, with her dirt-dusted face and a torn shirt, and wondered how she had ended up in the Volturi garden. 

He inhaled the faint scent of blood, then noticed her hands had scuff marks, some deep enough to allow blood to ooze forth and smear her palms. Had she jumped the garden wall, injuring her bare hands?  Perhaps she had been running away from someone and needed a place to hide. Aro called for Chelsea to clean up the unconscious girl, find her fresh clothing, and get her some cool water and hot food.

When Marcus and Caius find out about Aro's discovery, they joined him to discuss what they should do with her. Having this human in the castle was not safe, for the humans who worked for them, for his own people, or for the young woman herself. But once she had been cleaned up, she was quite captivating to the three vampires. 

Intrigued by her beauty, Aro would visit her, talking with her and asking if she needed anything. He found out her name was Marie Louise, and she had run away from home. Her parents were seeking to force her to marry a local boy she didn't love. She was almost spied by a relative who had been looking for her, so she decided to climb the castle wall to hide there until he went away. She had slipped, as far as she could remember, and must have passed out when she fell. Later that day, after their talk, Aro had gone into the garden to cut a few fragrant blooms to bring to her room, hoping they would cheer her.

Marcus brought her books to read, with subjects she had indicated an interest in. He chose some he knew were in the Volturi library and returned to her room with them. They read together, then would discuss the various subjects for hours. Marcus was pleased in her apparent intelligence, showing a lively interest in her, something unusual for him. 

Caius found out during his visit with her that she loved games. She bragged that she could beat anyone, even him, at any game he chose. The blonde vampire brought boards for checkers and chess, along with a deck of cards. They played together, whereupon Marie Louise beat Caius at checkers, lost to him at chess, and tied him the same winning games of gin rummy, before she finally tired. He kissed her forehead and told her to rest, then left her.

In all this time of visiting with the three kings, Marie Louise noticed the colour of their eyes, and finally asked Aro why their eyes were red. He explained that they were vampires, very old and extremely powerful. 

Marie Louise listened raptly as Aro told her their history, how they came to be in Italy, and how immortality worked. In four days, she had come to love the three kings, and wanted to be with them always. When Aro, Marcus, and Caius came to visit her together, while she was still in bed, Marie Louise asked Aro if he would make her a vampire, an immortal like them, so that she could stay with them forever.

"That is not something we are willing to offer you."

Suddenly, Aro tugged on her hair, and pulling her head to the side, exposed her throat to his sharp teeth. He bit hard into the tender flesh, the blood flowing immediately. Caius lifted her arm, placing her wrist to his mouth, biting hard, and drinking the oozing blood. Marcus bared her upper thigh and bit into the soft flesh, drinking the blood running down her leg.

The pretty young woman moaned while the three Volturi kings drank from the wounds they'd made on her body. She looked up at them, tears brimming in her eyes.  Aro noticed the tears and said, "I am sorry, my dear, but it is our nature."  She expired a few moments later.

Once the three kings had finished with her, they had Felix bury her body deep in the ground in the corner of the garden where she had been found. Aro visited her grave, and placed a single white rose on the mound of dirt. "You will be with us forever, Marie Louise, just not quite the way you wanted." He turned away from the grave, and went into the castle.

There aren't always happy endings.

[cryptids-of-spielzeit]

Reunion

Chapter 1: An Old Friend

(A Spielzeit Fae Story, inspired by abugcalledtoken's Defects AU)

In the months that passed since the Hour of Joy, the two factions of the Mini Critters thrived. Those that stayed with the Prototype, the Followers, dwelled within the trees, hunting whatever they saw fit. The others, though, eventually found the town of Spielzeit. The Townies stayed near the town, going in frequently for food, often at picnics.

There were a group of 4 Townies. Allison, an Eins fae, Mandy, a Hase fae, Louise, a Ferkel fae, and Max, a Welpe fae, all of them close friends even before their transformation, were wandering just outside of town, making their way towards the Fruit Basket district. It seemed, though, that they were too late, the strawberries that they were hoping to have all to themselves were all gone! Yet, the slightest scent of them was still in the air.

They had been freshly picked. Max, having a little bit of fox in him, led the group, the scent growing stronger and stronger, until they reached a big, red cottage on a hill. They could hear the front door opening, they had to hide. A little old lady walked out, a basket of strawberries in her hand.

"Oh no! She has them!" Louise cried.

"What are we gonna do?" Asked Mandy

Allison, the leader of the group, got to thinking. Though, she was quickly interrupted by Max, who chimed,

"Guys! I smell more food in here! Let's go inside while she's away!"

With hunger overcoming them, and without thinking about whether there would be other people in that cottage, they made their way in through the window.

In the kitchen, they found a smorgasboard of various foods, most notably a cheese and cracker plate on the kitchen table. She had plenty of food, it wouldn't hurt to take a few things.

They grabbed all they could, ready to enjoy a great lunch. But they then noticed that they weren't alone. In the living room, was a big, skinny, purple cat, with a big grin on its face.

"Catnap?"

"Catnap, is that you?"

"Mr. Theo?"

"Thank goodness you're alive!"

The cat turned around, its eyes widening in surprise.

"Kids?...."

"Yeah! It's us!"

"We didn't know you'd be here!"

"It's so good to see you, Mr. Theo!"

The group were all laughing amongst each other, they hadn't seen each other since the Hour Of Joy. They talked with each other, reconnecting, reminiscing about times gone by.

"Wait, why didn't you kill that lady?", Allison asked, not out of malice but out of genuine confusion.

"She helped me."

"Helped you with what?"

A long silence filled the room. Theo took a deep breath, before exclaiming,

"I am no longer bound to the Prototype. He is dead to me. He didn't take that lightly."

He gestured towards his scar, leaving the four plushes in shock. All 4 of them walked toward Theo. All 4 of them were right in front of him. All 4 of them gave him a hug. He couldn't help but purr.

"Hey, since you aren't with that thing anymore, why don't we celebrate?"

"Celebrate? How?"

"Only way we know how, Mr. Theo!"

"LET'S EAT!"

[twsted-princess]

Uh Oh.......

So I've been meaning to write this for a while now and this is kinda a new ship..........so yeah. @fumikomiyasaki I wuv you.

Covering up a yawn Leroy's eyes scrunched up as the evening was setting up. His hood was up, hiding his violet locks while he looked around the crowded room. First years were mumbling to themselves, talking about this and that as he leaned against the wall. He saw Henry look down at his watch before letting out a sigh and he couldn't blame him. The headmaster was gone for a while now, something about a new student waking up and it's been about an hour now since the old crow left. The ceremony was just about over too but they were all told to stay put. The chameleon grumbled. The newest episode of Iron Driver KingGunner was gonna be on and he didn't wanna miss it, as he listened in on the other dorm leaders talk among themselves he shuffled around. Maybe he could turn invisible and just leave? No, then Henry would chew him out for it. He could watch it on his phone but the signal in the room was mediocre at best. As his mind wandered off the door suddenly flew open as the headmaster addressed that no, he didn't leave due to a stomach problem. The crowd watched as the tall man walked into the room with a cloaked figure and a weird cat weasel creature. Leroy never saw that kind of beast before, it's mouth was gagged and it was struggling to swipe at Crowley.

The new student's head was down, their ceremonial robes practically dragging on the floor with their hands clasped together. They were scared, Leroy rolled his eyes. Probably a new Ignihyde student from the looks of it as the figure walked slowly towards the mirror. It's face shifting with the smoke as it calls for the new one's name. "M- Maxwell." Maxwell, great so they're two of them now as the taller one stared, aimlessly with the kid perched on his shoulders. The mirror pondered before it spoke. "The color of thy soul is........unknown." Murmurs flooded the crowd, eyes widening as the figure hid into themselves. Now Leroy was curious. This newbie had no magic, their soul is shapeless and grey so there was not a single dorm they belonged to. It's just like a isekai....no that's not possible. But as the commotion bubbled over the cat got out of the metaphorical bag to snatch up the student's spot. And then the fire came, Leroy quickly changed to avoid the blast as the Scarabia leader ran around with his ass on fire as students huddled together, soon enough it was a goose chase trying to get the furball but he noticed the student was trying to get away. To run somewhere and hide but the chaos was too large to escape. Soon the beast decided to take a leap, trying to avoid being captured by the Heartslabyul leader as he smacked the student in the head.

Causing them to let out a rather girlish squeak before the two tumbled to the floor, knocking the hood off as a gasp stopped the panic. Leroy's green eyes widen as he spotted well.......her. Long light brunette hair, the inside locks a rose to almost daisy yellow, one soft blue eye opened and pale pink lips winching in pain as her robe opened to reveal a white nightgown with pink roses scattering the fabric and her feet were bare. The girl then quickly wrapped her black cloak around her, now scared at the eyes on her. She was.......beautiful. Like his favorite magical girl, Strawberry Princess Sugar. It wasn't until a high pitched voice shot him out of his desire to take her hand and guide her away like a prince. "BACK! BACK I SAY!!" A mouse. A talking mouse with a little sewing needle in front of her, swinging it around wildly. "As the royal guard of her Majesty, Queen Melanie Charment of the kingdom of Genovia you will stay back!!!!" The girl quickly grabbed him, bringing him close to her chest and he could hear her call the little rascal Louise. Well.........this is kinda awkward.

[blackacre13]

hi hi, so from that fic where Lou gets Debs a collar, could you do something where the crew is over and someone finds the collar just lying about, and everyone thinks they got a dog but then realise its for Deb 🙈 bonus for "over it" Tams reaction. <3

“Why am I always the last to know?”

“What’re you last to know about?” Constance asked. She was currently laying upside down with her legs thrown over the back of the couch, trying and failing to catch cheese balls in her mouth that Nine was purposely chucking towards her forehead instead.

“Just…I don’t know. Things!” Amita grumbled. “Lou and Deb’s engagement. When Rose and Daph started dating. That time you actually used your Metro card instead of jumping the turnstile!”

“You’re not the last to know,”

Tammy rolled her eyes. “This group just assumes that once one of us knows we all know.”

“Alright,” Amita nodded, slapping something down on the coffee table. A simple black dog collar with gold trim. “Well then, since when did we all know that they have a dog?”

“A dog?” Constance shot up. “Where is it? Can I walk it? Dude. Can we teach it tricks?”

“Who has a dog?” Rose asked sleepily.

“Lou and Debbie,” Amita exhaled. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“They don’t have a dog,” Tammy rolled her eyes. “Have you seen a dog?”

“That’s my point!” Amita flung herself on the couch. “But. Wait. Nobody’s seen it?”

“Nope,” Nine shook her head, finally eating a cheese puff herself. “No dog far as I know.”

“Would Lou even like a dog?” Rose pondered aloud.

“Lou is a dog,” Tammy provided unhelpfully.

“Oh Deb is def a cat!” Constance piped up.

“So would a cat who’s marrying a dog want another dog?” Rose asked.

“I don’t like this conversation,” Amita hmphed. “But nobody knew? Swear?”

“Nobody knew, Mita,” Tammy promised her. “But I feel like we’d have to know, right? I mean one of us would have seen it. Or heard it. It’s a whole dog. They’re not quiet. And they can’t hide it forever without feeding and bathing and walking it. Maybe they’re planning on getting a dog?”

“If Deb was planning anything, even just picking some shit, there’s be plans everywhere. Come on. You know this by now,” Nine pointed out.

The door swung open, rattling against the wall before it was thrown shut again.

“What did I miss?” Daphne asked, propping her sunglasses on her head.

“Lou and Debbie got a dog.”

“Today?” Daphne asked, making a sour face at the cheese ball container that Nine held out to her.

“No. They just have one,” Amita exhaled. “And none of us knew.”

“That’s impossible,” Daphne declared. “There’s eight people in and out of this loft. One of us would have heard or seen it. And thanks to Debbie’s stupid loft contract addendum thanks to Constance’s secret lizard, they would have to tell us about a dog. And. We’d have to vote on it. Majority loft rules. No dog.”

“No dog?” Amita checked. “So then why in the world would they—“

“Check the inside,” Daphne smirked deviously as Tammy let out a strangled choking sound before tucking her head inside her lap.

“Property of Lou Miller?” Amita read. “That’s not really helpful. You need like the owner name yeah but also the address and the phone number in case the dog gets out.”

“Again. There’s no dog,” Daphne grinned.

“DEBORAH ELISE OCEAN!” Tammy screeched.

There were a few giggles and curses from upstairs and then the sound of things being knocked around.

“Find something?” Debbie called down before snorting and breaking into a fit of giggles.

“Oh my god,” Amita spoke, looking nauseous. “It’s a collar. It’s a sex collar. It’s some bdsm shit. You two are our parents damnit.”

“Come explain yourself!” Tammy screeched. “And hide your sex shit better.”

“You read the collar,” Debbie yelled back. “It’s not mine. The collar belongs to Lou and therefore I—“

“LOUISE ANNETTE MILLER, I SWEAR TO GOD—“ Tammy screeched, marching towards the stairs in a rage as Amita sent the collar sailing after her.

[retlasute]

॰ In The Rich Man's World ॰

Word count:  5633

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Chapter 2 - Mamma Mia

You didn't want to go home, so you spent the rest of your day on a playground, watching the children and waiting for some middle-aged woman to try to kick you out for smoking. Surprisingly, this did not happen. The biggest adversity you faced during that time was waiting for a lady to see the time on her watch after you asked her.

''It's six o'clock.'' Finally the lady spoke.

"Thank you very much.'' You answered, getting up and throwing the cigarette butt on the floor to step on it with your heel.

Unceremoniously, you got into your car and struggled a bit to get it turned on, just as you struggled to stop the steering wheel from locking. You were still waiting for payday so you could send your Cadillac in for repair.

Seeing the reflection of your eyes in the rearview mirror, you put on your sunglasses. Then you began to think. Your mind remained the whole day in a state of icy rage, unable to think straight. However, when you were three blocks away from the Speedwagon Foundation building, a whirlwind went through your mind. You began to think about everything Thom had said. He had done everything a man can do wrong, and you didn't like the way his eyes were fixed on Louise. He was no man for you: no character, not enough money, lost at work. Yet you couldn't deny how helpful he was.

The headwind seemed to blow stronger when you stopped the car in front of the building and got out, looking up. The sky was gray and laden with dense clouds, opaque and gloomy. Without wasting any time, you found that the whole building was locked, so you circled around it and stretched out your arms to lift a garden gnome who, like a little guardian, was hiding the spare keys to the building. Thom was not a very clever man when it came to security against intruders, for that garden gnome would be the first thing a burglar would use to break the windows - and when he caught it, he would see the keys gleaming before him.

The building was dark, different from what you usually saw every day. You'd never been in the habit of staying there after hours to see how things were at night. You went upstairs and stole some candy, putting it in your coat pocket to eat later. Then you walked through the corridors to the laboratory. Your laboratory.

You turned on the lights, finding the corpse in the same place it had been. A rush of cool air hit your knees and you shivered slightly, still approaching the stainless steel table to observe the incorrupt body lying there.

At first glance, analyzing it calmly, it was a beautiful corpse, in mortuary science terms. Without bothering to put on gloves, you touched it, having a strange and indistinct sensation when you felt the dry and remaining flesh of the ribs. As if you heard a noise that at that moment seemed unreal - if you were to try to describe it, you would say it was the noise you would expect from a thousand-year-old corpse.

The body had been divided for at least a century or two, since the cause of death did not show any mutilations worthy of dismemberment. Now, on the table, each part was fitted together like a puzzle piece; and what intrigued you the most, in fact, was the preservation of the ears and eyes, the first organs to decompose naturally.

You have spent years studying incorruptibility and you have never seen such a case. Usually these phenomena are attributed to extremely important canonized figures, as if they were too good to rot. The preservation of incorrupt bodies, especially of the figure in front of you, went far beyond phenomena such as adipocere or practices such as mummification. On closer examination, the corpse continued to amaze you: the heart was intact, inside the rib cage, as it should be. As a glimpse, you saw that the corpse's hands were pierced.

Intrigued, your hands unconsciously slid down to touch the corpse's arms. The limb, like a magnet, attracted you and clung to your flesh. Obviously, your first reflex was to scream and shake your hand to get rid of the other arm that was fused to yours. You bumped into some cabinets, knocked over some glass and successfully threw the corpse's right arm to the other side of the room.

"What?!'' You said, paralyzed by shock. "What the hell was that?!''

Were you crazy? No. It was impossible. You not only saw that arm merge with yours, you felt it.

When you asked Thom if the corpse had been divided recently, he answered vaguely and started acting as if you already knew what he was talking about and as if it was irrelevant information. Did he know that? Did he know that this corpse simply tried to merge with anyone who touched it?

No, this was absurd and you had to be crazy. A wave of curiosity went through your body, telling you to move closer again to see what happened, but your survival instinct wouldn't let you be that stupid.

But you moved closer again, ignoring the fact that one of the arms had been thrown away.

"I'm not a coroner... not a very good one.'' You said to the corpse. "But there's something wrong with you.''

Even so, you automatically looked at the cranium, observing the bones, mentally naming them as you saw them. The smooth arch of the parietals, fused to the slope of the temporal, with the little protrusion where the mandibular muscle originated, the protuberance that joined with the maxillary projection to form the graceful curve of the scaly arch. The upper jaw showed most of the teeth.

Eyes deep, the hollow bone of the back of the orbits shaded and dark; the orbits, however, were perfectly preserved in a glass jar. You closed your eyes, getting a better feel for the relief and the cuts in the skull.

''Someone killed you. Or at least hurt you badly.'' You said. "You didn't want to die, right? You were crucified, just like Jesus?''

You looked at the other hand still on the stretcher and analyzed the large hole in its palm. Confident in the idea of crucifixion, you looked at the corpse's feet and confirmed your theory when you saw that they were also perforated.

With the cause of death in mind, you remembered the reports they had already finished about the corpse and decided to look for them in Thom's office. He didn't put them on his desk, as that would be too obvious; he put them in one of the storerooms, partially hidden by a red file. He didn't want the employees to use that very special cabinet.

Among the paperwork, however, a blue stamp from the HR department caught your eye. Louise's signature was clear and in neat handwriting, but the field where the department head's signature should have been was empty. In the middle of the sheet, the first thing you read was ''a complaint of sexual harassment in the workplace.''

There was another sheet of paper stapled on the back, a sort of petition for a women-only restroom in the building. Obviously, like the harassment complaint, the petition paper was filed away, waiting forever for some sort of superior approval.

You returned to the corridor with the paperwork in hand and thought again. Perhaps...

Then the sound of something or someone coming up the stairs echoed, but there were no security guards that night. Why the hell did you leave the front door open?

Fearing that it was some intruder with worse intentions than yours, you hid in the kitchen and looked for a knife; obviously you found nothing, so you settled for grabbing the coffee machine with the intention of causing head trauma to whoever the individual was. The footsteps approached the kitchen door and you heard the soft humming of the classic ''Dem Dry Bones'', as if the person was singing quietly to himself.

The handle spun around and your arms rose up, ready for the attack. However, when the door opened, a shrill scream disconcerted you and also made you scream along.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!'' You heard the person shout. ''(Y/N)! Are you crazy? Did you want to kill me?!''

A sudden breath of fresh air made you shrink and close your eyes, when you opened them again, the light of the night sky through the window was enough for you to see the intruder.

"What are you doing here?'' You asked accusingly.

At the same time Louise asked, also in an accusing tone.

''Were you going to hit me with this coffee machine?''

Still a little confused, you answered without thinking.

"Yes.'' Then you dropped the object on the floor. "What are you doing here, Louise?''

''What are you, (Y/N), doing here?'' She asked, this time in a relaxed tone. "You almost killed me, in every way!''

''I came to see the corpse.''

''And you came to get all the paperwork too, apparently.'' She said in an ironic tone, referring to the box of files lying on the sink. ''I came... Ah... I forgot something important on my desk.''

"Something important?''

''Yes... A gift.''

"A gift?'' You smiled and raised only one eyebrow. ''Is it for your boyfriend?''

"He's not my boyfriend! Just... A keeper!''

''And the giftt is some kind of engagement ring?''

''Shut up, (Y/N)!'' She gave a slight shove on your shoulder, blushing. ''Come on, where are the keys?''

You laughed some more before answering.

"I have the keys... Let's go to your department.''

Louise nodded and you made sure to leave the box of reports on your desk in the lab. For a moment you felt a chill in your stomach as you entered the messy room with her, fearing that she might see the corpse without an arm. But your friend kept talking about a date she had set up with her European boyfriend, so this worry quickly went away as soon as you closed the lab door and started looking for the keys to the HR department.

You glanced at the large cuckoo clock above the door before opening it. It was half past seven and dark as midnight.

When you found the right key, you elegantly motioned for Louise to come in first and turn on the lights. But she was so focused on finding the gift that she didn't bother to look for the switch. Meanwhile, she kept talking about her European boyfriend. He was like most of Louise's boyfriends: tall, with short hair, a basketball player's body, but you don't remember seeing her talk about anyone the way she talked about him. It was as if she had been converted.

Despite this, she was still bothered when you said he was her boyfriend.

"So... Where are you going with your not-a-boyfriend tomorrow?''

Louise laughed, still looking through her drawers for the gift.

"He said it is a surprise. He's a gentleman.''

"You said he was Italian, right?''

"Yes, I'm teaching him some English... Some songs.''

"Really? And what kind of music are you teaching him, Mamma Mia?''

She was silent for a few seconds, and your mouth slowly opened in disbelief.

''No way, Louise.''

She gritted her teeth, feigning nervousness, with a comical grimace.

"Mamma Mia is an Italian expression!''

"No way, Louise!"

"Oh, come on! It's not that bad...'' She said, smiling, starting to snap her fingers and shrugging her shoulders at you. ''Oh my, my, how can I resist you?"

''That's the worst song to teach your Italian boy... to your Italian not-a-boyfriend.'' You corrected yourself quickly.

Louise ignored you, shaking her arms lightly, like someone calling you to dance at the disco.

''Mamma Mia, does it show again!'' She continued singing, in a more sly tone than it actually was in the song. ''Come on, (Y/N)!"

"You're making me hate Italians, you know that, don't you?''

"Mamma Mia!'' She exclaimed, waiting for you to complete.

Your eyes rolled back and you gave a smile, giving in:

''My, my... I could never let you go.''

''Mamma Mia, (Y/N)! Here we go again!'' She urged, coming closer to you and snapping her fingers ''Oh my, my...''

"How can I resist you?'' You added, this time more excited.

"Mamma Mia! Does it show again!''

''My, my, just how much I've missed you?''

This time you sang together. Although distracted, Louise continued to look for the gift on her desk, without success.

''Wait, (Y/N)...'' Frustrated, she interrupted the music and looked at you, who was waiting by the door. "It's not on my desk...''

"You didn't leave it at the reception?''

"No, I already checked. Only if... oh, that bastard!''

Louise shot over to another table in the maze called HR. She was as used to that place as a librarian is used to the halls of the library. Without a care in the world, she began to rummage through a table that was not hers. Curious, you approached her to look for the name of the owner of the desk, but instead you found a bunch of things written on it like a high school student's table. The person had taken the time to carve all the lyrics of Somebody to Love; it was a lot to carve. You still had no idea who the child was who did this.

Louise stood up quickly with a small box decorated with hearts and lace, and her long hair glowed red, shaking angrily. When you looked at her, you found the nameplate on the table. Edward Avery. The man who was teasing her earlier in the kitchen.

"This is unbelievable.'' In a wistful tone, she hesitated to open the box, but had to do so to check if the seal had been broken; and she confirmed it. ''That son of a bitch.''

You peeked over Louise's shoulder, catching a glimpse of red lingerie in the box and a small note marked "Luca''. So that was her boyfriend's name? She had never mentioned his name before, because she was usually too busy complimenting his tattoos. But what was this doing on her co-worker's desk?

''So this was the gift for your boyfriend?'' You said jokingly, playing off Louise's tension. "You said he was blond, didn't you? Maybe this red lingerie will suit him.''

She didn't answer, so you watched her rub the sleeve of her blouse across her face.

"I don't believe this...'' She babbled. You couldn't see her face, but she sounded like she was about to cry.

You put a hand on her shoulder, embarrassed by your own comment, and leaned in to see her face. She was red with anger and shame. You noticed her eyes, out of sheer habit. They were tired and glazed, but clear.

"Did he... take the box and open it?'' You asked.

"I hope that's all he did...'' She said, closing the box while wiping her face one last time. "Shit... what the hell does this guy want from me? This isn't the first time!''

You stood silently watching your friend's sudden outburst of anger. Carefully, she put the box on another table and, in contrast, threw all of Ed's things on the floor, smashing a dirty coffee cup and a bunch of the action figures that decorated the table.

She stayed like that for a long time, tossing and breaking everything in sight. In shock, you stood by, watching her impatient outburst, which at one point extended to the other tables, including the head of the department. The place was constantly clean, so much so that all the time it had a cloying smell of alcohol and bleach - perhaps cleaner than the laboratory itself -, but now the place was reduced to dust and shards of glass. As she destroyed things, she exclaimed nonsensical and disconnected babbles, things like "It's clean enough now?'' and ''You son of a bitch!''.

It was undeniable to say that you were terrified, because you had never seen Louise have a violent outburst of rage to the point of breaking up the entire department. Usually, when you looked at her, you saw exactly who she appeared to be: a twenty-two-year-old scientist who knew nothing about professionalism or corruption, totally capable of controlling her emotions. Maybe that's how it was with you too. Maybe you also looked exactly like who you were: a twenty-four-year-old scientist, bitter as a forty-five-year-old woman, and with a special inclination toward corruption and greed. Had Louise always had this uncontrolled side, or had you gradually kindled the flame in her?

No. It went much deeper than that, and you knew it when you remembered the sexual harassment report filed in the storerooms. She had told you that one of the employees had molested her in the bathroom, but did not mention any names. Then the thought occurred to you that perhaps it was Edward, judging by the assurance he always had when he teased Louise.

"Hey, hey, Louise!'' You said, feeling the impulse to grab her arm to stop her from breaking a mug with 'best boss in the world' written on it. "That's enough, you've had your revenge! They won't be able to clean up this mess anytime soon!''

Louise became very still, calmed her own breathing and looked around slowly and carefully, just moving her head.

That's when something on the floor caught the woman's attention. You watched her reach down and pick up a small crumpled pack of cigarettes that had been tossed on the floor during the whirlwind of rage. Not knowing what to say, you watched her open the box and pull out a cigarette that looked unconventional.

"That bastard Ed... Keeping weed in the office. Can you believe it, (Y/N)?'' She turned to you, and her eyes widened. "Weed! He thinks he's at his mother's house, doesn't he? Let's see what the boss will think about it...''

''You could have found the weed before you broke up the whole department, you know...''

Louise stopped, as if only now realizing what she had done, and looked around again, assessing the extent of the damage. There was still a lot of dust and broken porcelain particles floating in the air, as if someone had just kicked a sand sculpture.

''Shit...'' She muttered, soon, despairing. ''Shit, shit, shit!''

''Hey, hey, calm down! It's okay!''

''It's not okay, (Y/N)! Shit, what the hell did I do?! Fuck, I don't believe it!" Louise flared up. She felt as if everything inside her was ready to go on the attack. Her nerves. Her temper. Her esophagus. ''Oh, my God... we're fucked, (Y/N)!''

"Yes...'' You said, laughing nervously. "We're fucked.''

There was no moon. Undeniably a good thing, but it had its disadvantages that night. The building and its annexes were in such a deep pocket of darkness that you couldn't know who or what was there, not seeing it until the light was long gone. You waited, however, for the complete darkness to turn on the hallway light and exit the HR department with Edward's box of marijuana cigarettes.

"Luca...'' You heard Louise babble to herself behind you. ''He has a good job. He's about to become manager of the restaurant he works at...''

"Manager of Sapore di Calabria?'' You asked, trying to imitate the best Italian accent you had. ''It's a very good restaurant. Can he cook?''

''Yes, he's the chef. He's got a good job, you know. Maybe I don't have to worry about that.''

You stopped in the middle of the hall and looked at her.

"Worry about what?''

"About this, (Y/N)! I just destroyed the department I work in. I won't be able to step foot in here tomorrow!''

"But you're great at what you do, you can get a job anywhere you want.''

"They'll run my name and find a report for trespassing, vandalism and depredation of private property. I wouldn't hire myself.''

"Well... yeah, you're right, it's complicated...'' You said, looking down, looking for some way to reassure your friend. "How about we take advantage of the fact that we're already here with... some marijuana?''

''What do you mean?''

"Maybe Edward won't miss us, but he'll definitely miss his cigarettes.'' You said, opening the box and pulling out one of the cigarettes, evaluating it. "See, even the silk looks special. This sure isn't just any weed, judging by how well he's hidden it.''

"How do you know?'' She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We were all teenagers once, Louise.'' You replied defensively. "Are you going to tell me you've never been high?''

"No... I only went drinking for the first time when I was twenty-one.''

"Jesus, Louise! What are you, a nun?''

"My body is a temple, I won't put anything on it...'' She said, but glanced at the silk cigarette in your hand. "But... maybe Ed will miss those cigarettes.''

You smiled and unceremoniously held out the cigarette to her, while looking for the lighter in your pocket. Two cigarettes were lit, emanating an unpleasant and distinctive smell that reminded you in a special way of your youth and of the days you used to skip class in Anacostia Park. You wondered for a moment who would be the first person to walk into the building tomorrow morning and smell the marijuana and see the sorry state of the HR department.

Louise coughed up a few puffs, and you taught her the right way to smoke. Don't inhale too deeply, do as the instructor at the gym teaches; use the diaphragm, not the lung, if that makes any sense.

You watched her obey your instructions. Louise was glowing. The glow of a beautiful Girl Scout that reminded one of the old Saturday Evening Post covers.

The next thing you knew, you were moving from the corridor to the laboratory. Such sacrilege, you thought, smoking weed in front of an uncorrupted body. Maybe, being a passive smoker, he would start to decompose.

You leaned back on the table next to the corpse in a comradely mood and took a drag on your cigarette, waiting for Louise to approach.

"Well...'' You said, looking at the corpse. ''I think I'll have to look for a successful Italian boyfriend after tonight. Where did you find yours?''

Louise laughed, and took another drag on her cigarette, still learning how it was done.

''I was having lunch at Sapore di Calabria at a special event, and that's where I met the chef.'' She told, as if reliving the moment. ''He offered me free dessert and I thought he would do this for all the guests, but no... it was just for me.''

"And what was the dessert?''

"Zabaglione. A strange mixture of egg yolk, sugar and marsala wine. After that day I always ate lunch there, and every time I got a zabaglione. Courtesy of the chef, they said.''

"Egg yolk?'' You frowned. "Couldn't he have made a tiramisu? It would be more classic...''

"Tiramisu also has egg yolk.''

"What? Really? Why do Italians like egg yolk so much?''

"Why do you hate egg yolk so much?''

''It's weird, gooey.''

''So dating an Italian chef is out of the question. You'll need to be more original.'' She coughed. ''How about a British guy?''

''British? I'm not a big fan of beef Wellington.'' You said. "I think I'll settle for some American. Is it true that Kentucky boys are cute? Maybe I'll run away there.''

"I prefer the British.''

"You should prefer the Italian, you're dating one!''

Both were silent for a moment. Louise laughed shakily from her failed puffs until at some point she got the hang of it. For a moment, you squirmed and bumped your arm against the box of records you had left there. Unceremoniously, you picked up some of the papers to look at.

"What's this?'' Louise asked, looking over your shoulder.

''Some records Thom took from the university.''

''And talks about what?''

You answered silently with a gesture pointing at the macabre figure of the corpse beside you, in the darkness lit by small lamps.

''And what kind of records are these?'' She continued asking, as if she were a curious student.

"Letters without stamps and signatures. Apparently, some guys took advantage of a national event to collect the parts of this corpse.''

''National event?''

''Yeah. Steel Ball Run, you know? Thom is obsessed with this shit, he searched for records of all the letters that mentioned some corpse from September 25, 1890 to January 19, 1891. He found... hmm, let's see...'' You drummed your fingers on the pile of old pages. "Forty-three letters. One of them with a Vatican seal.''

You were silent, remembering the morning of that day. About the promotion Thom was willing to give Louise. You flinched, imagining that you should take this information to your grave now that your friend had already destroyed the entire HR department and was now smoking pot in the lab. Knowing that if she hadn't done any of this she would end up winning a nice promotion would drive her crazy and probably provoke another fit of rage that would result in the building going up in flames with all the employees inside.

''Steel Ball Run... This reminds me of The Cannonball Run.'' She said, beaming.

''Oh, please, not that movie again!''

She laughed. Not a very sober laugh.

''Oh, come on, we're Marcie and Jill! Almost literally!''

"Yeah, almost, 'cause I don't have a Lamborghini.'' You scoffed, staring at one of the leaves in your hand. ''My Cadillac has the steering wheel begging for help. I'd say driving that car feels like riding an insane horse.''

"Oh, it's a good thing I don't have a driver's license.'' She said, rambling as she laughed. ''I was traumatized by country roads after last night.''

You looked at her, trying to understand what she had said.

"When I went to get the corpse, you know. I had to negotiate with the farmer, convince him that an uncorrupted body wasn’t his property just because it was found on his farm.''

"Oh, yes.'' You laughed absentmindedly. ''And how was it?''

''Terrible. But not as terrible as it was for the team that had to pack up the corpse.''

''Thom said that there was an... accessory with the corpse. He wouldn't tell me what it was. Did you see it?''

"Oh, the crown of thorns? Yes, I saw it. It's in the same place we found it.''

"Didn't the team take it with the corpse?''

''No, they set up a makeshift tent to continue searching the area. The crown of thorns was found a few meters away from the rest of the corpse, so we are still not sure if it belongs or not. Some archaeologists said there may be more bodies in that area convinced Thom to set up part of the research department there.''

"A... crown of thorns, you said, right?''

"Yes. Strange, isn't it?''

"Very strange... This corpse was crucified, like Jesus. And he was also forced to carry a crown of thorns?''

''Evidently yes. But relax, it's impossible to be Jesus.''

"How can you be so sure? He died at the age of 33, of Middle Eastern origin, with dark hair, torture and crucifixion marks, and... a crown of thorns. That's too much of a coincidence, don't you think?''

You held back the gentle impulse to continue quoting the list of adversities, especially to say that you saw that corpse's right arm fuse to yours. She wasn't stoned enough to believe that yet.

"So Jesus Christ came to hang out in New Jersey?''

"New Jersey? Didn't they say he was here in Washington?''

"Washington in New Jersey, (Y/N).''

"And how the hell did you get this corpse in one night?''

"Seven hours of sleep thrown away, that's all. I went with a team of five people, and so did Thom.''

"You're kidding me... Shit, just because I wanted to go there...''

"Why the hell do you want to go there?"

"It's just that... It wasn't Thom who found that corpse, Louise. I've been tracking the Devil's Palm for months, that's why we were able to find the corpse. All this... and we don't even know his identity? Alright, he was not Jesus... but then who was he? I need to know. Maybe... if I saw the place where they found him, I could find something. Besides, the Devil's Palm hasn't moved yet, and I would have the opportunity to visit it.''

''But why? I don't think it's worth it, (Y/N). Anything you find out will be Thom's credit, you know that.''

"Or not... Not if he doesn't have the corpse.''

Louise laughed and the two of you puffed your cigarettes in sync, both of you staring at the corpse.

''What the hell are you thinking?'' Louise asked, with a soft tone of concern in her voice.

You dragged your cigarette again, feeling the numbness take over your mind.

"What do you think?'' You asked her.

"What do I think of what?''

''This corpse is something much bigger than we are... I can feel it, Louise. All these months of being humiliated and underestimated for this damn corpse that I can't even get basic information about... Doesn't that make you mad? We are puppets. They used us, broke our peace, made us sick and tired in exchange for a shitty salary. I can barely afford to fix my car. I'm tired, Louise. I'm tired of being manipulated by a bunch of disgusting old men. If... if for one moment we could take control of this situation... have the power in our hands for once...''

''(Y/N), are you listening to yourself? You're making me worried...''

"Aren't you tired of that son of a bitch Ed, Louise? Aren't you tired of all those bastards in this company? Don't you feel like burning down the goddamn building?''

"Well...'' A shy laugh interrupted her. ''Maybe. You're right, sometimes it does make you want to burn the damn building down. But you're not thinking about that, right, (Y/N)?''

''Maybe... if we burn down this building, we would be arrested and our lives would be over. The Speedwagon company has enough money to get everything back up in a few months. But that corpse, Louise... there's only one specimen. A single specimen. They can't just buy another corpse, can they? We can hide it so we can study it ourselves and then sell it! Imagine how much money we'll make, and what Thom's face will look like when we rub our resignation letters on his desk! Or we could set fire to the corpse and...''

''Hey, hey, take it easy, (Y/N)! I understand you're angry, but we can't do this, it's wrong!''

''It's also wrong for a boss to seduce an employee twenty years younger than him.''

"You're right, but there are many other ways to take revenge.''

''But this is the best way! Maybe you're right, setting fire to the corpse or the building is too radical... we can just sell him to the Speedwagon company's competitor. Imagine how much money we could make, Louise! What do you say?''

''The competitor? Do you mean BeQuantum?''

"Maybe. We have a lot of options.''

"That... I don't know, (Y/N). Why are you proposing this to me?''

The night air was cold and foggy and you were glad you were wearing a coat. Louise stared at you, until at some point you stopped smoking, putting the cigarette out on the cold surface of the steel table.

''Because... I trust you." You said while not taking your eyes off the corpse. "By selling this corpse to another company we will have enough money to not worry about getting a job for the rest of our lives. It's right in front of us, Louise. This mummified body is like a purse with ten million dollars in the middle of the street."

Louise was silent for a while, thinking about your proposal. When suddenly, she too put out her cigarette, walked to the back and pulled out a huge plastic box covered with a sturdy black tarp, walking back to you.

"Come on." She said, resolute. "Let's take this corpse and go for a ride in New Jersey."

"You... Are you serious?" With beaming eyes, you asked.

"Absolutely fucking sure! Let's put this in your car and go to a convenience store and buy some coffee, because it's going to be a long night!"

[dr-lizortecho]

Nora’s Story (Part Two: Earth)

part one can be found here

Following the crash, Nora’s journey on Earth becomes a lot less convoluted. She’s depicted as a refugee who is abused and chased by the American government. This all starts the night of the crash, on June 14, 1947.

Nora as the leader of the rebellion is the one to wander out from the remnants of the crash and approach the airmen and law enforcement officers. She surrenders in the universal style of depicting herself as weak and taking a position (kneeled arms splayed out on the ground) the leaves her vulnerable. It’s this that makes the armed men stand down on Hector Valenti’s orders, leaving them vulnerable when Jones emerges from the wreckage. Igniting a war between species when he sets Hector Valenti alight. In the following panic Nora is shot and her and Louise flee. This is when Tripp runs into Nora, grabbing onto her before Louise comes to her rescue. Which results in Louise also being shot and them both leaving injured. With Nora killing one of the airmen in front of Tripp before they drive off in their stolen vehicle. Tripp later notes they were mother’s fighting for their children, they had loaded the pods into the vehicle, his understanding of their natures solidifying in that moment.

It’s the same night of the crash that they stumble onto the Long farm and meet the foreman, Roy Bronson. He takes pity on them, two wounded and lost women. Patching them up and letting them spend the night in the barn, even going so far as to lie to Tripp Manes. Roy is of course convinced to allow them to stay, through Walt’s pure excitement and Nora’s ability to make the crops grow (a struggle he’d noted would surely lead to him losing his job). Over the span of the next year Nora and Louise grow closer to both Roy and Walt. As Walt later notes in 2x09 they “picked their names out of a book one night” and they “became a family”.

During the span of the next year (between June 14, 1947 and October 12, 1948) Nora and Louise worked on multiple projects while hiding from Jones. This is noted by Tripp in 2x13 in his journal they “had been sneaking off to build something deep in the desert. The device in the barn was just a piece of the puzzle”. This puzzle no doubt a long string of events and hopes, from Nora’s schematics for a small ship with enough room for “three pods” as noted by Michael in 2x04. To the more solidified plan that came into motion between her and her triad. That being season fours discovery of the portal Theo built out in the desert. And quite probably the pod that was constructed to trap Jones and the console Nora was building in the barn (the control panel for Jones’s prison). All an elaborate scheme to either leave him on Earth, fry him when he attempted to follow them to Oasis, or lock him inside the pocket dimension. (Also, of note the references to ‘fixing’ Max could possibly be their attempt to untether him from Jones so he could safely use the portal and access his full range of power). By the time they had finished most of their projects (Max still being tethered being the final straw) the county fair had come up. An event Nora wasn’t all to keen to attend. For fear of Jones discovering them. But Roy and Walt were able to convince Nora that the fair was important to them and not as dangerous as she assumed. And due to her connection to Tripp as well as to them she concedes, agreeing to not only build a pumpkin launcher but attend the fair with them and Louise. Even going so far as to reminisce about Michael leading up to the event, telling Walt her dance partner is “about your height. Curly hair, though. He has my whole heart. I think you'll like him. He is very smart. Very brave”.

The fair is held on October 12, 1948. It’s at this fair that they win the pumpkin launching contest, resulting in the photo taken for the newspaper clipping that Michael discovers in 2x03. During this event Jones catches up with them, he’s seen resting his hand on Nora’s shoulder. Which spurs them into action, Louise and Roy’s trap sprung that night to capture Jones. “One road in one road out”. It’s in the memories that Jones shares with Max during the span of 3x04 that this trap is fully revealed. They lured him under the premise that Max was in the turquoise mines, leading him to where they wanted him (outside the empty pod Nora built). Once they sealed him away they had next to no worries. As Nora noted in 2x13 she didn’t fear humans, only Jones. This leads into how easily they were convinced to spend one last night together, as a family. Even when Walt delivered the warning Tripp sent him with, that the Long farm would be raided in two days. Because Nora and Louise were celebrating and didn’t fear what the Manes men could do to them, as far as they knew they were free of their biggest concern, for awhile at least. However, Tripp is coerced into raiding the farm that night, October 13, 1948 (also notably, by this night Theo was already admitted to Caulfield though when during the last year is uncertain).

The raid on the farm resulted in a lot of threads coming undone, as well as deaths and fake deaths alike. Walt notices the men with guns approaching the barn, allowing them a few fleeting moments to prepare. Nora tucking a map into Walt’s pocket telling him “x marks the spot”, the map to lead him to the pods with Michael, Isobel, and Max. While her clue also reminded him of the secret hatch she built so he could escape if need be. Once he’s secured Tripp almost immediately opens the door, and aims his gun at Roy. After a few exchanges including “they’re just people”, Tripp shoots and kills Roy. Louise attempts to run and is also shot (though Tripp fakes her death), while Tripp grabs onto Nora and shoves her to the ground. He then causes the barn to catch fire, after Walt has already used the escape hatch, which results in a large explosion as Nora’s console overheats (the same console Green rebuilds and takes to Crash Con in 2x13).

After the raid is complete (as noted by Walt resulting in the deaths of anyone and everyone who wasn’t in uniform) Nora is admitted to Caulfield. This occurs sometime after midnight as Alex notes in 2x02 she was admitted on “October 14, 1948” saying she was the last Oatian to be brought into Caulfield. During her stay she was abused and experimented on, her conversation with Tripp in 2x13 “they've been putting needles in me” as well as her battered and bruised state more than enough evidence of this. Nora also makes sure to inform Tripp of the date the pod squad will emerge from their pods June 14, 1997. She claims that “without {her} to wake them” they’re relying on some sort of timer system to release them, notably something Louise wasn’t capable of doing. While she continues to assert that Louise is the only one who can protect “the other”, which is something she repeats throughout the season yet never comes back into play.

On March 11, 1969 Patricia met with Nora inside of Caulfield. In which she reveals part of the plan to stop Jones and untether him from Max, the building of the Lockhart machine. This machine was designed to store multiple messages for Dallas including an equation developed by Theo (these messages included the instructions to kill Max if need be and the information on Theo’s Bible). Nora and Patricia both take a lot of risks to get the machine built, risks that most likely ended in the encryption in Nora’s Caulfield files that Alex mentions in season two. The next piece of information regarding Nora is discovered when Michael finds her at Caulfield in 1x12. Michael meeting her for the first time since coming to Earth, where he learns she is his mother and begins the journey to unearth her story. In this scene Nora gets to give him a bitter sweet goodbye before telling him to save his life. In a way fulfilling her end all goal, since her struggle was always so Michael could be safe and live a good life, and against all odds fall in love.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 9, "Run Away Little Boy"

You can read my previous reviews here.

You know what we haven't had the joy of experiencing in a couple of eps? Dean Forrester acting like a jealous, irrational fucklehead. This episode will deliver him in spades. Welcome back, Fucklehead. Welcome back. This episode is a real doozy.

It's Henry! Yay! We stan Henry/ship Henry & Lane here at TWWGG. We learn Tristan has just returned from school after he was suspended. He fell in with some bad apples who aided him in taking apart and re-assembling a teacher's car inside of the school hallway. Huh? But actually, they just paid some mechanics to do it? Double huh? So he literally OUTSOURCED a prank? Jess Mariano would NEVER.

While attempting to enjoy a burrito in peace at the Business School vending machines, Lorelai encounters a time traveling bro from the distant 2010's who entertains her with unsolicited conspiracy theories about how one day we're all going to be slaves to machines, cut off from human contact. Hey, wait a minute... Lorelai brushes his off his totally inaccurate prediction.

Nothing I'd love to experience more than going on a date with a 24 year old dudebro who will unload conspiracy theories on me for 2 hours while I try to eat. Let's delve into the Rory portion of this episode. English teacher gives the class an assignment to form groups and act out a scene from Romeo & Juliet. Predictably, Rory ends up with Paris, Louise, and Madelyn (and eventually, Brad), with Paris at the helm of the group, being her usual godawful nightmare self, and they eventually end up at Rory's house to work on the project.

Why does this feel familiar? Oh, yes. It's because in the not so distant past, Paris, Rory, Louise and Madelyn were forced to work together on a school project where they had to form a government with Paris at the helm, being her godawful nightmare self and ended up at Rory's house to work on the project. Diet Logan (aka Tristan) barges into the first planning session of the play at school and through the art of some manipulative mental gymnastics (MMG) he hijacks the part of Romeo away from Brad, leaving Rory to end up as Juliet to Diet Logan's Romeo, much to Rory's displeasure. "Diet Logan & Juliet" just doesn't have the same ring to it. Louise: I can be Juliet. Paris: You can't be Juliet. Juliet is supposed to be chaste. OUCH. Sookie to Michel after presenting him with a plate of blueberry pancakes: "Raise your right hand and say, "May Destiny's child break up if I count these blueberries." It took another 6 years for Destiny's Child to break up, but still. I guess he counted the blueberries.

Wow, this shirt is the most gorgeous color. It's true, she does name everything, including Luke's toolbox. Speaking of. We interrupt this squeaky clean WB Network show for another extended conversation involving penis metaphors. Lorelai is talking to Sookie about moving on from Max to going out to dinner with the Time Traveler.

Lorelai: We have this bit going about me stealing his burrito. Sookie: "Stealing his burrito"? Oh, you kids! Lorelai: No, a real burrito. Sookie: You've stolen his burrito! Rory is telling Lorelai that the theater group has decided to meet at her house (again), which means Diet Logan will be coming to town, so, sadly and predictably, Rory is now fretting over Diet Logan running into Dean and telling him that they kissed at that party and that Dean will be upset that Rory was hiding it from him, so she has to get ahead of DL and tell Dean first. Run, Rory, run...ahhh. Fuck it. I give up. You're on your own girl. Lorelai: Try it out on me first. Pretend I'm Dean.

The only person who'd ever dare to utter such cursed words. I'm surprised she didn't open up some portal to the Underworld by saying that out loud.

No, that won't do it. Try to sound more constipated.

But it's always a good time for Dean to yell at Rory, right Mom?

Lorelai: I know you are Miss Honesty, I've seen the banner. But this is going to screw up this really good thing you have going right now! I swear for someone who is all up in every inch of Rory's business it feels like Lorelai lives on another planet from her daughter and not the same house. Lorelai then proceeds to do the worst Dean/ JarPad impression in the history of ever, turning him into some deep voiced narcissist obsssed with his hair who says "cool" over and over? I'll cut her some slack. It is pretty hard to do an impression of someone with no personality whatsoever. Let me try: *deep voice* I built you a car! I wear the same stupid leather jacket every day that probably smells! Saying I love you doesn't get you pregnant! My mom cooks dinner for us every night! Hur hur hur. Better.

Coping tactics while watching episodes with both Dean and Diet Logan. Rory: Where's Tristan? Louise: He went to the market for cigarettes. As if we didn't already know he was bad. Sooo bad he has to outsource his pranks. Can anyone else actually picture Taylor Doose selling cigarettes? He sells pregnancy tests and that already feels too scandalous for Taylor and Stars Hollow. No less "illicit substances" like tobacco.

*long agonized groan of despair* Both of you should jump on the Tide Pod craze 15 years ahead of time.

Wowwww. I have no words. (Diet Logan is the flour dropper).

Uh oh, DL. Dean's doing that thin-lipped thing again. You should be scared.

This little shit. This little bug. I want to squash him under my shoe. Gonna call this the Rinse and Repeat becasue it happens in every episode: Rory swoops in and drags Dean outside. Having heard almost none of the conversation happening between DL and Dean, she makes an assumption that they were arguing about her, and immediately starts apologizing profusely to Dean. While his lips get super thin and his face gets scowly and constipated. He blathers angrily at her for having the gall not to tell him she was in a play with a male classmate (we didn't even get to the part about the kissing yet).

Dean's mom should have swallowed. Then Dean threatens to strangle DL to death with his apron strings because that's very a rational response to hearing that your girlfriend is in a fictional, mandatory school play with a classmate. Although I'm not gonna lie, I was mere seconds away from writing that I hoped Dean would get strangled by his stupid apron. I'm allowed to think he should drink laundry detergent. It's okay when I think it.

Rinse and Repeat. No really. This is just so, so sad. Let me guess, Lorelai's going to hear what happens later and she'll think Dean's reaction sounded cute. I'm putting my money down on this. Let me repeat: Rory is not apologizing to Dean for for kissing DL. She still hasn't told him about that yet. She's apologizing to Dean because she was given a school project which is 50% of her grade to put on a scene from a play where Romeo was originally going to be Brad, and she never wanted Tristan in the play in the first place, he hijacked it and forced his way in. She forgot to tell Dean she would be working on a school project with a classmate Dean doesn't happen to like and who is a male. That is why she's apologizing.

Me putting a whole two dollars on Lorelai having a completely wrong reaction to the events that are unfolding.

Little too late, Bucko. Your mom should have a retroactive abortion. This tactic Dean always uses on Rory where he belittles her and then when he runs out of steam he suddenly does a u-turn, gets all "nah I guess it's not your fault actually" all fake-like with contempt for her in his voice gives me chills. It's manipulative, and abusive.

Look at this pathetic puppy face after Dean treats her like dog shit and then tries to kiss her like nothing happened! This is the most pitiful thing I've ever seen. Why am I in tears for her! She's fictional! Ahhhh! Dean tells Rory he's going to take a walk and she has to kick DL out of the store herself. I hope Dean encounters a rabid mountain lion on his walk. A mountain lion with a taste for the flesh of teenage boys who treat their girlfriends like last week's garbage.

Here it comes. *grabs a bag of vintage Doritos and waits in fevered anticipation for whatever idiotic thing is about to come out of Lorelai's mouth*

No alarm bells whatsoever are going off in Lorelai's mind that her teenage daughter had to "pull apart" her boyfriend and her classmate to prevent them from fighting. Again, this is the second time in a short period of time that Dean and Tristan nearly killed each other. Lastly, what Rory actually says here is "I pulled them apart without any bloodshed." Allow me to summarize Lorelai's response:

Heh heh. I win. *collects money*

Guess the mountain lion spat him out.

Damn too bad you didn't choke on a chicken bone.

We're well aware of his domestic mother. Try to keep up with the rest of the class, Lorelai. Rory (like she's just learning this today as well): That's so nice. Uh?

Dean insists on attending the play reharsals even though Rory and Lorelai repeatedly try to tell him she doesn't need him there. Lorelai just smiles at it all and says "Dean is fine" as he gets up to leave. So now not one but two people have hijacked their way into this play against Rory's will. (later): Rory to Tristan: Dean's coming to rehearsal tonight. DL: Can they spare him? I heard they're having a run on baked beans. That's such a stupid comeback but I'm heartily laughing. Just sitting here thinking about stupid Dean Forrester the stock boy stacking cans of beans, and then maybe the cans topple over and suffocate him and then they bring in those dogs that sniff for people buried under rubble and even though the dogs find him they pretend they don't and ignore him.

Again, I'm going to miss the Rory that says "shut up" to people. Rory asks Diet Logan not to tell Dean that they kissed at Madelyn's party, but DL didn't even remember it happened, so if she had just kept her mouth shut things would be hunky dory. My girl really just dug her own grave here. DL: I won't tell Dean, he's gonna find out anyway. As soon as he sees us kiss on stage it's gonna be pretty obvious it's not the first time. I'm a good actor but I can't hide that kind of passion. I hope a wall of lockers topples on top of him, and then they bring the dogs in that sniff out bodies that are buried underneath the rubble, but they ignore him, and... etc. etc. etc. Ran out of screen shots, part 2 in another post, you know the drill.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Trans!Dan Masterlist

Amour - jilliancares

Summary: Trans!Dan and Phil get ready to have sex for the first time.

An announcement (sort of) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: There's something that's been on Dan's mind lately, and it's finally time to tell the world.

Any Good Boyfriend Would Do - analphancones

Summary: FTM trans!Dan is forced into going to school in a pushup bra by his mom because she washed his binder, otherwise known as his sports bras. Good boyfriend Phil comes in and gives Dan his hoodie, making sure his chest is well hidden to dull down Dan’s massive dysphoria. The bell rings before they get to class so they ditch and have sex at Dan’s house. Through singing Troye and kissing through giggles, Phil always makes Dan feel like the boy he knows he is.

Because I Trust You (ao3) - ReederJoe

Summary: The morning after their first time together, Dan and Phil have quite a few things to say to each other. They're just two boys in love.

Bells For Becca (ao3) - ellisonavenue

Summary: Phil's long-term girlfriend mysteriously vanishes without a trace. With her history of suicide attempts her family fears the worst. He, however, does not lose hope. He spends 5 years desperately searching for her. Just when he thinks of giving up he receives new information on her possible whereabouts... One thing is for sure: a person can change a lot in 5 years.

Colour Me Free (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: At age 25, Dan Howell doesn't want to hide anymore. The problem is, it's not exactly easy to tell your boyfriend of 7 years that you're not a girl.

Daniella Jane - philingdan

Summary: Phil almost finds his soulmate and then he does.

Fairy Lights (ao3) - omgdatphantho

Summary: Dan and Phil have sex for the first time under fairy lights. How cliche?

Formless (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: Dan wished he was formless.

Grayscale (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Danielle is 15 when she looks at the mirror and says out loud, "I am a boy. I am gay. My name is... Dan," she picks, moving her hands outwards in front of her chest.

For a moment, she feels comfortable and happy.

#IPreferDan (ao3) - ellisonavenue

Summary: He never planned on keeping the pill a secret from Phil because he never planned on Phil and him living together so comfortably for over 3 years. He'd banked on a year maybe a year and a half before they went their separate ways. He'd only banked on 2 months max before Phil found out what the pills were for. Dan couldn’t believe it was 2015 and Phil didn’t know yet.

Or the one where Dan was born female and refuses to tell anyone.

i'd spend forever with you (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: based off of this prompt- Prompt: Vampire!Phil can smell and identify blood from the other side of the room and Trans!Dan hasn't told Phil he has a vagina yet and gets his period.

It's What's Inside That Counts (Love Exists For Everyone) (ao3) - softsocks

Summary: Dan spent the beginning years of his life trying to figure out who he is.

He spent his teenage years discovering what it meant to be in a proper relationship with someone who cared.

And then he meets Phil.

And he knows there is no one else he wants to spend his life with.

Let The Salt Dry (ao3) - dandrogynous

Summary: “When I look at my old pictures, all I can see is what I used to be but am no longer. I think: What I can see is what I am not.”

- Aleksandar Hemon

2009 except Dan is a trans boy

Love Me Like You Do (ao3) - ReederJoe

Summary: Dan has a nightmare about losing Phil in the worst way possible. Phil comforts him, and one thing leads to another.

Of Lions and Pronouns (ao3) - samlover14

Summary: Of all the subjects taught at Hogwarts, gender identity isn’t one of them. It didn’t come easily, but he eventually found his way. And he never could have done it without Phil. Hufflepuff!Phil and Gryffindor!Dan

Red, Lies and ‘I Love You’s (ao3) - philsdrill

Summary: Phil and trans!Dan are at Playlist Live and run into a complication when Dan gets his period during a meetup. Phil and Louise come to the rescue. Fluff.

Regrets Almost Made (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan ends up coming out to Phil not in the way he would have preferred.

Stuck (ao3) - xDeathMelodiesx

Summary: Dan gets stuck in his binder and Phil helps him get out of it.

transgender [one meaning] (ao3) - whiskers (robertmontauk)

Summary: trans·gen·der

/transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/

denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex

we could disappear for a while (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: text messages between teenage dnp

We Could Never (ao3) - danielshands

Summary: Dan navigates the world while also contemplating coming out.

You left me / twisting in the wind (ao3) - Insert_something_clever

Summary: “I-I'm a boy just like you" Dan finds himself whispering into the blank void of his room, his safe, protective haven that has never made him feel any less then until now. He stupidly realizes for maybe the very first time that Phil was in here with him. Dan had let Phil into his safe space, Phil with his bitter smell and his rough mouth and he was allowing him to kiss him in places Dan had never thought he wanted to be kissed before.

“Well, maybe not just like you. But I am still a boy, just with a few missing parts and two added ones”

You Make Me Feel Like I'm Real (ao3) - farkenshnoffingottom

Summary: He passes almost perfectly online – making sure any photos he posts are taken at the right angles and with the right outfits to work. But this will be different. Maybe Phil won’t notice at first. But if there’s any touching (god, he wants there to be touching), how is he going to explain it away?

It’s not that he doesn’t want Phil to know, it’s just that he’s scared. He’s grown used to their daily communication, and he really doesn’t want to jeopardize what is probably the best friendship he’s ever had.

----

It’s 2009, and Dan is trans and scared about how Phil will react.

You Still Love Like Me? (ao3) - ReederJoe

Summary: Dan decides it's time to tell Phil the truth. Stubborn boys in love, but you can bet your bottom dollar they're not going to say it out loud.

[raewritesfiction]

Bed Rock [Alexander Skarsgard]

A/N: thank you dear Anonny for this great idea.

Plot: going at it with Alex and oops! The bed breaks!

Pairing: female!reader X Alexander Skarsgard

Warnings: smut; doggy, dirty talk, unprotected sex.

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @jaseminedenise @nikkitasevoli @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @ravenmoore14 @heywhatssgood

—-

The evening had been amazing; dinner and dancing followed by a movie and drinks, and more drinks and then in the cab on the way home you knew exactly where the rest of the night would go as Alex got handsy with you; one sliding up under your skirt just out of sight of the rear-view mirror. He teased you the entire half an hour drive back and savoured your small pants against him when you nuzzled into his neck to hide your face.

Your clothes had come off before the door was locked and Alex had eaten you mercilessly on the dining room table making you squeal out his name multiple times. He had carried you to the bedroom where he had shed his remaining clothes to the floor and bounced you down onto the bed, flipping you onto all fours and kneeling on the floor to eat you from the back.

His hums and moans drove you wild with lust and it took less time for you to be begging for his cock than usual, his hand landed hard on your ass leaving an instant red mark and making you gasp his name.

“Alex please…” you pant and groan loudly as another orgasm rips through you.

He pulls away slowly and spanks your other ass cheek to match the marks, gripping your hips tight Alex pushes into your dripping wet cunt with ease. His hips snap and he’s fully sheathed inside you; he gives you no chance to catch your breath before he sets a rough fast pace.

You grip the bed sheets and call out on every thrust of his hips; highly sensitive from the number of orgasms he had already pulled out of you, your inner walls tighten and pulse along his thick length drawing out long and low moans from deep in his chest.

Alex scratches down your back and kneels on the edge of the bed for a better angle, grinding his hips into you against your g-spot; something he never had any issue finding. Your knuckles turn white as you tighten your grip on the blankets, stretching your arms out in front of you to grip the mattress instead, your ass pushes back against Alex and you rock your hips. He groans and stills himself for a few moments, watching you fuck yourself along his cock.

“That’s it baby girl, take what you need from me..” he licks his lips and pants. “Love seeing that ass bounce back on me..” Alex spanks you again and digs in his fingers to leave bruises.

“Alex… baby…Sir… fuck, daddy! Fuck me!” You pant and moan his name, gasping when you feel his hand weave into your hair and pull your head back. He snaps his hips and thrusts into you fast and hard, his sweaty skin slapping against your own and mixing with the sound of the creaking bed, headboard hitting the wall.

Unable to do anything except groan and whine in pleasure, you let Alex pull you back onto this slick cock and control everything.

The bed moves suddenly and slips, the bottom legs breaking under pressure from your movements. Alex groans and lands further into you as the bed collapses under you “Fuck…!”

“Oh fuck! Don’t stop!” You moan and shift your position a little to get the angle back.

He pants and grunts as the bed continues to crack along the struts “Fuck…oh god..” he splays a hand on your lower back. “Cum for me…”

You whine and reach down to your clit, circling yourself quickly while you reach out with your other hand to grip anything within reach. “Fuck fuck fuck!” You squeeze your eyes shut and call out roughly as your body trembles and another orgasm takes you over.

Alex Pants and moans loudly, watching your wetness squirt out around his cock and your muscles try to push him out; he pushes deep again and grinds his hips arching and letting out a long groan with his own release.

You both relax down after a few moments and Alex slips out of you, gently moving you onto your side and though your legs still tremble and feel like jello you manage to shuffle yourself to face him.

“So…we broke the bed…” you breathe heavily and run a hand through your hair.

“Just a little… I was looking for an excuse to buy a new one anyway…” he pulls you close and kisses your forehead.

[burned-lariat]

Hello, I've come to cheer you up. (and myself lol)

Jex: The bane of my existance

The day Dex decides he doesn't need Joss' her whining ass anymore and as the kids would say, slide into Kristina's DMs, is the day I will compliment Chris and Dan on a job well done. That would be a hoot. lol

I'm not going to lose out on the potentiality of Dextina for more Benson propping that goes absolutely nowhere. The math is not mathing.

ChayLynn: The light at the end of the tunnel

I've got to muster up this one cause the writers are giving me scraps to work with. The last ep they were on, looks like we're turning a corner finally. There were some callbacks from a year ago that I'm not sure anyone caught.

March '22: It was this time last year that ChayLynn had just wrapped up the Bailey Louise fake family situation. BLQ left town soon after giving Bailey back, leaving Chase to wonder what was going to happen next between them. A few days past and radio silence. Chase was worried about the status quo of their situationship. The word "lost" is what Michael and Maxie used to describe how Chase felt at the time. He finally reached out to her, texting "How are u? " He'd felt the distance she put between them. Days later Chase runs into Willow. He was surprised to find out BLQ was back in town. He catches up with BLQ, catching her off guard. He was worried about her, he missed her and he wanted to make sure she was okay. The friend she never knew she needed in her life. The point is, he didn't give up on her considering she kept him in the friend zone. He fought for her because was worth fighting for.

Fast forward to now and we have this unexpected visit. Chase didn't plan on running into her due to his initial intention to visit Willow and the baby at the gate house. No one was home so he stops by the main house. Boom, surprise BLQ answers the door. She's so happy to see him, a welcome surprise. A stark difference from last year this time. She was so eager to talk to him about anything really. It happened to be about babies and reminiscing about bath time with Bailey. She needed to buy as much time as possible, anything to keep him around a little longer. Maxie's interruption was warranted, their convo was cut short. Keeping with the theme that BLQ misses her best friend, a boost she never knew she needed. After visiting with Willow and the baby, Chase comes back out ready to leave again. Another theme is where Chase is waiting for that day when BLQ expresses how she really feels. But alas, a fleeting moment between the two. He's good at hiding how he feels for the most part but that doesn't make him the world's best detective lol. At the end when he's leaving, Chase asks BLQ of she was okay? She gives him a broad answer, "Yeah, you?". He doesn't give her an answer, leaving a lot for interpretation. She'd hoped she could get inside his head, his heart. Anything to keep her going as she feels like the time she has being around him is dwindling. The moments she took for granted before, she's now scared of what will happen when there will be no more. Chase left her watching him walk out of her life once again. Her bright light, the true shining star of her life. Denial is not just some river in Egypt. This moment was meant to tell BLQ to not give up on herself because that would mean she'd be giving up on Chase in the end. He's still rooting for her, hoping she can still be that brave person her fell for a year ago.

I got misty-eyed writing that lol. 😭 I hope I've given you with enough to get you through these next few weeks. The NB should be interesting in the least. Hold on, ok.

P.S. I'm editing my ChayLynn one shot still. They are worth the agony. Hopefully over the next few days, I need to get this story out of my system or else. 🙂

Until next time...

Your presence is always welcomed!

Honestly!!! Like give us the whiplash plot twist of Destina fucking and Joss walking in on them! That's mess, that's soap! And I genuinely ship them - like I think Destina has "it." It's not me pulling an agenda like w Dexsha...ish 😂

That was a whole year ago?? It feels like three years ago! 😭 So much crap has happened, holy shit. And I always love your ChaLynn analysis because you're on the nose about everything while simultaneously giving everyone the hope they need. This was so insightful - deep down he wants her back, the person she grew to be, and whenever he's around her, she just lights up as much as she shuts down over how she hurt him. They're just...🤧

And oh boy I hope we get good content for the NB - I'm nervous about that whole shindig 😅 and YES!!! I wish you luck in your editing endeavors, and I can't wait to read it when it's out and published!