#Lucifer in therapy

[taijahfern]

duck therapy

part two of this post is here

[lisandra-phillips]

Silly

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Hug Therapy: Hazbin Hotel

Charlie: You need a hug! (Jumps onto Angel's back and wraps her arms and legs around him tight)

Angel: .......Can you let go now?

Charlie: Do you feel better?

Angel: No.

Charlie: (snuggles in) Then it hasn't kicked in yet.

Angel: Ugh! Vags! Can you get your girlfriend off me?!

Vaggie: (in a similar position with Lucifer clinging to her back like a hedonistic koala) Can't. She switched herself out with her dad to focus her hug therapy on you.

Lucifer: Must. Give. Future. Daughter-in-Law. Ultra. Hug. Therapy. For Charlie.

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Hazbin Hotel as my group therapy

-

Charlie: It's so quiet in here I need to be yapping about animal crossing

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Angel: no gyatt but big badonkadonks

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All of hell during Stayed Gone: chat is this real? CHAT IS THIS REAL!!?!?

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Nifty: I'm just waiting for an emo boy for me to fix

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Alastor: I killed queen Elizabeth

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Angel: My sister was tooken by the state

Alastor: Taken

Husk: naww he just corrected his grammar

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Cherri: and all I WAAaannnTTTT FOR CHRISTMAS ISSSSS YooooU

Sir Pentious: That was beautiful

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Husk: honestly I'm pretty sure everything is my fault like global warming? That's my bad

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The hotel getting ready for battle:

Vaggie: WAIT... sports mode

*everyone changes their Crocs to sorts mode*

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Vaggie: I have discount PTSD

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Nifty during Hells Greatest Dad: Rizz???? Otp?????

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Angel explaining how he made his deal with Valentino: So he came up to me and was like "what's a little lady like you doing out in the streets all by yourself? You need a big strong man like me to protect you. And then we got married

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Lucifer: suicide am I right?

Alastor: *snorts*

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Angel: my name is jaquayveontavious, I'm six years old, I do drugs

Charlie: NO

Angel: steal, fight

Charlie: NOOO

Angel: gang bang, domestic violence

Charlie: NO STOP

Angel: and I like to slap squirrels that I find in trees

Charlie: STOOOOP

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Charlie trying to get Alastor to participate:

Alastor: listen bestie, I would rather die

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Cherri: weed

Angel: yeah

Husk: stop

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7 years ago

Alastor: welp time to skedaddle

[demonictacobeard]

Adam, still going through it, texting Lucifer because that’s the only fucker he knows here who he only hates most of the time: Why is a fucking pig lying on my bed?!

Lucifer, texting back right away: It’s hard being the only one of your kind in a place, he must have been so excited to hear you were here that he came to see you himself

Adam, using Doomgle for the first time to find pictures of ducks saying die in a fire: Die

Lucifer, torn between being pissed at the duck meme or loving it: You first, no that would be second wouldn’t it?

Adam, sending a rolling eyes Hellmoji: Oh no I’m dead, so fucking original. Not like I haven’t done this before, bitch nothing you say will piss me off more then dying from advanced aging

Angel Dust, accidentally reading the whole thing over his shoulder, an easy task: That’s where Fat Nugget is?! Fuck, why’d he run off there? I don’t wanna go into the depression cave, and I know Adam doesn’t want me to come knocking either

Lucifer, waving his hand and opening a portal into Adam’s room: I’ve got this. Adam! You can deposit the pig here into the waiting arms of his owner

Adam, shoving his hands through the portal while holding a whining Fat Nugget: Who’s miniature ham is this even?

Angel Dust, scooping Fat Nugget up: Mine! Nugget, my sweet little shit. Why’d you go and fall asleep in a lamb paddock?

Adam, flipping Angel off through the portal and slowly dragging his hand out of it: Wilbur got lonely, guess Charlotte isn’t entertaining after all huh?

Angel Dust, flipping him off back with his lower arms: Just shut up you shitty ass sheep, a Shepard would leave you behind on purpose

Lucifer, cutting that short by closing the portal: Charlie’s going to be so happy he spoke to someone today

Husk, cleaning his lemon juicer: She’ll be happier about it then Adam himself

Lucifer, shaking his head: No, trust me he lives for this shit. He’d rather argue then being left completely to himself. Because if he’s all alone he’ll get bored. He hates being bored

Angel raising a suggestive eyebrow: And…your majesty just how do you know that?

Husk, slapping his face because he warned Angel about teasing the King Of Hell a hundred times: He has fun undoing everything I do to keep his ass alive, doesn’t he?

Lucifer, staring at him silently before laughing a little too loudly: No reason!

Angel after Lucifer tugs his collar and leaves awkwardly: I think the king doth protest too much, Husk

Husk, sighing: I think you are doth interested, in the business of a man who can kill a seven deadly sin if he wanted to, too much

[douglasbradburyverne]

The serotonin rush of posting something keeps the inner demons away

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

charlie has learned the truth about vaggie and now learns to be careful about asking her gf to make promises using playground rhymes

Vaggie: “Cross my heart, hope to die…”

Charlie: “Wait I'm regretting this-”

Vaggie: “Lute stuck a sword in my head and-

Charlie: “Vaggie don’t.”

Vaggie: "-cut out my fucking eye.”

Charlie: “From now on let’s just pinkie swear, okay?? Let’s just pinkie swear.”

Lucifer: “I think it’s a good sign Maggie can joke about it!”

Charlie: “Dad. You’ve been depressed for thousands of years. You wouldn’t know a good sign of mental healthiness if it turned into a rubber duck and bit you.”

Vaggie: “Wanna hear the verse where Lute rips off my wings and I spend the next three years lying to the love of my life about it?”

Lucifer: “Okay!!!”

Charlie: “NO.”

Vaggie: “But babe, what if I sang?”

Charlie: “…still NO.”

Vaggie: “We could harmonize on my despair..?”

Charlie: “…….uughhghghg FINE. But we're doing a triumphant reprise afterwards. With love.”

Lucifer: “Can me and the duckies do the backup chorus!?”

Vaggie: “You and the ducks are the only ones who can do the backup chorus, sir.”

Lucifer: “AWW SHUCKS! C’mon girls! Let’s sing about Maggie’s miserable life!”

Charlie: “Her HAPPY life, dad! She’s going to have a HAPPY one now.”

Vaggie: “I already do with you here, sweetie.”

Charlie: “….”

Vaggie: “...Charlie?”

Charlie: “Give me a sec. Can’t sing while smiling this hard, sorry.”

Vaggie: “Sure. Take your time.” (is smiling too hard to sing too)

[0bituarius]

Sleep Deprived Thought

Tw: 18+ because I am mentally ill and unhinged, Minors DNI

I have three holes, every issue in the book, there are three of them. Let nature take its course.

[ehh-all-the-good-names-r-taken]

"it's so ironic that LUcifer the sin of pride is depressed."

it makes perfect sense actually because

1) who wouldn't be depressed after accidentally putting evil into the world and then getting cast into hell with your wife.

2) to get help for depression you have to ADMIT you have it, which in turn would damage his pride. He is the sin of pride, of course, his depression is off the walls. He won't even admit to himself he has depression.

[jupiter-iz-cool]

Heyyyy, so like I need ideas for some x readers, im specifically looking for ideas for Alastor, Lucifer, and mayhaps Adam as well, I love them to death but I don't have much inspiration at the moment to write. If I particularly like your idea I might even draw it as well </3

My ask box is open please flood it, I will get to each request when I can 😮‍💨

[plaidposh]

For @tarmaarn ⭐️

[doorknobinmyayuss]

Lucifer: I’m FrEaKiNg OuT!!!

Angel: 🤨 ????

Husk: 😒 I don’t even wanna know-

Lucifer: Alastor and I got into a fight and I think he’s mad at me but I honestly can’t tell and I don’t know how to make it better and I don’t know what he’s gonna do. I can’t breathe. 😵‍💫

Angel: 😐 Jesus fuck. okay calm down. Here hold this. *hands Lucifer husk*

Husk: THE FUCK!?

Lucifer: I just- …wow so soft…

Husk: IM NOT A FUCKIN THERAPY PET!!

Angel: 😗 scratch behind his ears…

Lucifer: *completely calm*

Husk:

Husk: 😑 I don’t get paid enough for this…

[ur-dad-satan]

Horny Obey Me thoughts...

16+

Can you imagine how blushy the shyer brothers would be when they have to walk around after secretly making out with MC or knowing that MC gave them a hickey and hoping that it isn't visible, so they don't have to face rumors or questions?? I need that.

I wanna play with Diavolo's tits while he moans and whimpers at my touch. I wanna twirl his nipples in my fingers and hear his breath catch in his throat when I start to suck on them. I wanna sit on his-

I bet Barbatos is quiet in bed unless he's about to cum or being overstimulated. I headcannon that Barbatos gets overstimulated really easily and he has a love hate relationship with it. He loves the release he gets from it; his legs shaking, sweat coating his body, the gasping for air while he comes. He only hates it if he's not in control or his mind is too foggy to know what happens next.

I need to make Mam, Levi, Beel, and Dia worship me. The cocky arrogance, the undying loyalty, the slightly innocent muscle, and the hunky prince all bending to my every will? I need that.

I need Luci- and I say this in the nastiest, dirtiest, downright sinful way possible- to baptize me in his come.

There is no way I would survive a train being ran on me by the brothers let alone them and the adult undatables, but fuck it that isn't a good way to go.

I want Luci and Dia to Eiffel tower me so fucking bad. One down my throat, the other... somewhere else, and then make the circuit complete by having them kiss.

I want to make the "tough" and/or "muscly" boys wear little miniskirts and thigh highs so I can fuck the cute out of them. These boys specifically are Luci, Mam, Sat, Beel, Dia, and Barbs.

[am-1-ty]

Some further whiteboard drawings with @akijam !!!!! Featuring Alastor Jesus….i have no explanation.

[libby-for-life]

If Adam and Lucifer went to therapy:

Therapist: okay. I'm going to level with both of you. No one is right in this situation. Everyone is in the wrong.

Lucifer: What?!

Adam: Bullshit!

Therapist: Just listen. I'll start with Lucifer. Look, when Adam was created, his first companion for a good solid time was you. He *thought* the world of you. If you had one day in Eden told Adam that the sky was *orange*, he would believed you. Despite all evidence pointing towards it being blue, Adam would say it was orange because he put that much trust into your words. And you took that trust and mutilated it. You took his other companions and left him all alone. That does things to a person. You may not be at fault for all of Adam's actions, but you definitely started it.

Lucifer: I—

Therapist: Now you Adam. I get it. Lucifer betrayed you. Took your first wife and then your second. You left the garden to be with your second one because you didn't want to be alone. You had to pave the way for your children and some of them didn't even make it to adult hood. Then, when life was over, you didn't even get to see your family in Heaven with you. I can see why that bitterness set in. But having shitty life experiences doesn't give you an excuse to be a shitty person.

Adam: *scoff*

Lucifer: Okay, if you don't stop—

Therapist: You both fucked up. Apologize and then get out of my office.

[radarchives]