#MAX HAS GREAT GAYDAR

[swftlore]

stranger things 5:

byler: *starts flirting in the hospital*

max, immediately waking up from her coma: thats gay

[captainzigo]

since I have been making my little pony comics for the past few months, I have basically forgotten what every single one of my duckverse comic prompts means. I had a big list full of one sentence prompts for duckverse comics that I was going to make, and I was reading through it yesterday, because I thought about making one. I was surprised to find out that I have no idea what any of them mean. instead of just deleting the list, I have decided to share with you. For what good it will do you. Think of this as a little shout out to the people who followed me for duckverse content. i havent forgotten about you. it’s also a little peek in my twisted mind. my horrible creation process. a behind the scenes look from hell. the list of prompts is below the break

max college fund

launchpad rescue hero

costco 22¢ per bite

house of mouse

door to darkness

because i’m hispanic?

donald cousins catch and release

fish wife

the greatest skateboard trick in the seven seas

backyardagins movie

evil versions boy band

gladstone gay moms

the poor part of town

private army of freaks vs my boys

you own the town. you are politics - what do you think taxes are for - not gladstone bail - id be doing everyone a favor

kids table is great actually

donald cry gold swim

beautiful gold moon

villains table

these lovebirds

gladstone can’t read

gladstone hyper specific thrift store shirt

louie seeing anyone right now?

managed my uncle’s finances

june dolls episode

may louie webs spy episode

house of mouse christmas hdl want to come

propeller cap start to turn. big wind. its a helicopter landing. thanks babe

double gay batteries

daisy likes donald snoring

if you can understand anything he says then yeah!

sora. quack pack. bald monkey

i respect your pronouns. i dont not respect YOU scrooge

why are you friends with my rival’s girlfriend

we’re sisters now too???

The dancing hacker - do you know how hard it is to lucid dream

are you guys playing dancing hacker?

how did you do that? Those dice were rigged i mean.

you guys were supposed to prepare a musical number every session

Lady in pink but with a knife

girl boss? No girl lady. But not a girl.

sephirof at the door. never seen Donald that serious in my life.

I have a superhero alter ego - like super Grover?

louie x robin the frog

daffy: i’m getting you a job in Hollywood, kid! You gonna make big times. Why? uh… i’m friends with your mom.

Duckburg community college is the only community college that does dance scholarship

duckberg community ducks, and the Duckburg University geese

in helicopter: you ever going to get tired of having our dates like this? no never.

donald take responsibility for our son! panchito what

babe your costume is terrible. why are you still in a sailor hat

tasha austin gay lesbian solidarity

hey webby! *glittery hands*

webby diary

shake for trust? glitter on hand. body slam

why did t you tell me your girlfriend is a pilot? tasha said i shouldn’t tell you because of what happened to you pilot ex. he’s still alive!

pablo: sleeper agents be like time for my next mission

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

WHATS UP T-BOYS?

donald’s boyfriends what does gladstone have against gay people

donald you should wingman for me. i thought you were gay

dugan duck is your secret kid isn’t he

huey ponytail

donald has three boyfriends why can’t i have two

woops i mexed up their super powers - let’s go, t boys! i didn’t make them trans! they were like that before, right?

your brother donald has like five partners. yeah and i’m not my brother donald. you’re right. i should date your brother donald

dewey damn girl your ass phat what are your pronouns. katy nun/ya

tying normie trans girl to a chair turbo pablo

don’t worry. the promise ring is just a tracking device

punch buggy gets steadily more and more violent

dewey’s many licenses

duck twins cobwebs

beaks: help! #911

katy can not entertain in her tiny trailer

uno gaydar donald i finally give you a job and you’re being gay on the clock??

when mom comes in and you have to hide your DS under your pillow

HDL Tulin

HDL chart

[audhd-nightwing]

more of punk!steve bc i adore him

steve first runs into the Party at the arcade (where he works part time because he wants to make his own money as a ‘fuck you’ to his parents and cuz it’s a chill job) and he becomes their favorite worker and they become his favorite customers. one day steve takes a smoke break in the parking lot and sees some kids bullying the Party and his older brother instincts kick in.

he walks up behind the party like “well well what do we have here?” and the Party is like “steve!! :D” and steve in his leather jacket and ripped jeans and combat boots glares down the bullies and they scamper off. from then on steve tells the kids to go to him if someone is bothering them and it becomes town-wide knowledge not to mess with byers wheeler henderson & sinclair. he basically becomes their personal Scary Dog.

the parents end up wanting to meet this young man who kept bullies away from their kids (and they’ve heard all sorts of rumors about him and he dresses like That so they’re suspicious) and steve’s like “yeah sounds great!” and immediately charms all of them because he’s a sweetheart and does genuinely care about and want to protect their kids. from then on he’s the go-to babysitter / ride to school / campaign host. steve pretends to be annoyed but he loves it and treats them all like they’re his younger siblings (especially lucas and dustin)

joyce and steve bond especially and they have coffee dates every sunday and just talk (joyce tries to get steve to come to her when he needs help or just someone to listen). at first everyone who sees them is super confused because what is paranoid mother Joyce Byers doing with the high school bad boy Steve Harrington?? but after a couple months it just becomes commonplace and people will even stop by to say hi

i also think jonathan and steve would end up being best friends in like freshman year and steve would get jancy together in s1 (steve and nancy don’t date). he’s never a third wheel though they have a great “this is my boyfriend and our best friend steve” type relationship. (plus jonathan never takes the creepy pics and the whole fight never happens so they’re all chill).

steve and robin are fellow outcasts so they’re chill. then steve beats up some guys who harassed her and they become actual friends and steve lets robin come over whenever her parents are being shitty. steve lowkey converts her into a punk and they basically do illegal shit and have a bunch of fun.

btw steve is a fully realized biromantic demisexual (or just queer whatv lol) and he has an extremely accurate gaydar which is partially why stobin become friends. anyways i’m mentioning this becauseee

steve meets will byers and Immediately Knows and pretty much comes out to him and tells him it’s okay and he becomes wills Gay Mentor (imo jonathan can either be straight or queer and just not really informed abt gay shit so steve would be the mentor in his place bc they’re basically brothers anyway (joyce absolutely tries to adopt steve multiple times)).

steve meets max at the arcade before any of the Party befriend her and she immediately becomes another of his favorite customers (the ranking is dustin, will & lucas & max, mike). she thinks he’s super cool and basically projects onto him as an older brother figure and he’s happy to play the part. he notices the way billy treats max and threatens him that if he ever treats her like that again he will kill him and hopper will help him hide the body. things are pretty peaceful for max after that. additionally neil hargrove gets arrested for domestic and child abuse and billy takes his car and leaves without a word. max’s mom still drinks so steve kinda unofficially adopts her, she has her own room in his house and ends up staying there most days. he ends up actually adopting her later but they’re still more of an older brother & younger sister dynamic than father & daughter

steve doesn’t interact with eddie until s4 but they know of each other and are on neutral terms until the byers move to cali and eddie starts DMing for dustin lucas mike erica and max (who steve managed to convince to play). they’re wary of each other at first but eddie realizes steve is actually a huge softie and steve realizes eddie is just a cute dork who reads LOTR and plays D&D.

steve isn’t on any sports teams or anything but he works out on his own, goes for jogs every morning with jonathan and nancy especially after the demogorgon and demodog shit. basically he’s fit and good at fighting (due to more experience with it) and nancy taught him how to shoot so he can do that too. most of his scars are from demo-creatures instead of fistfights, though he has a few of those too (not from jonathan or billy tho).

[nowmemoriees]

I love all the possible cupids for Byler (Murray, Robin and Erica) but the real cupid here for them gotta be DUSTIN.

- Murray connects the couples in a sexual way, Mike and Will's relationship is too delicated and sensitive for them to be spoken in that way, when they're just discovering their feelings. (it's something normal anyways, but just not yet)

- Robin probably has a great gaydar, but she barely knows Will and Mike. She could only help making them more confident individually, but not to connect them.

- Erica totally understands and supports LGBT+ community even though she's a kid, but, like robin, she doesn't know about Mike and Will's relationship. She knows them, she knows a lot about them, but not about their connection.

- DUSTIN has known both Mike and Will since they were kids, always sensing a stronger connection between them than the rest of the group. He may feel the electricity, just as he could feel it with Lucas and Max even though he liked her.

Mike and Will would feel more comfortable with Dustin because they're talking to someone who knows and supports them, someone who really understands them because theyre living in the same context, someone who they really appreciate in their lives. Let byler get dustined.

[lukweer]

As a bi girlie, I somehow always gravitate towards my fellow gays and lets just say Max and Lando made my gaydar go off. So no surprise there.

On Yuki, I totally agree with your statement that man is at least bi. Lmao, he was like a scorned housewife when Pierre left the team. That level of drama, it is giving bi.

(I’m also really conflicted with Pierre, either, he is straight and just french, or he very repressed)

As for Daniel, he is either one of the few straight man with a working gaydar or he has something fruity going on.

Carlos honestly is really difficult for me to pinpoint as well, sometimes he seems so straight to me. But around Lando, everything is thrown out of the window I guess.

And finally Oscar, that man screams twink to me I’m so sorry.

I have a couple of other drivers on my mind as well. But I’ll hold my opinions for your part 2 to see if I’m right👀

Anyways, hope you a great day!🥰

-P

ok i love these so i'm adding even more input ;)

i think lando has officially matched (or is at least very close to) max on being accepted by the gays as queer. check and check.

i think netflix should make a miniseries or like a short film on yuki and pierres break up. i dont even care if they were never dating, that was such a movie break up and i need to know the details.

pierre gives me the feeling that he's maybe hooked up with a guy and then immediately went to mass. him and his crucifix necklace, smh.

i'm sticking with my guns here, i think daniel tells ppl he's straight but doesnt really care, if he caught feelings for a guy he wouldnt be upset. idk if that makes sense? but yeah, he gives me the feeling. that vibe.

i use to think that about carlos too, but the more content (?) i consume outside of just the races the more i feel he's queer. my gaydar goes off just a bit you know? maybe he is bi with a strong preference for women. yeah.

please do not be sorry, i am very happy that he screams twink to other people. i want him to scream twink. i love him.

if i do make a part two it will likely be much shorter but i'll definitely try to work on it :)

also i know i said i'd post about lando's mannerisms but i keep forgetting to work on that so maybe that will be out soon too, who knows.

[lilolilyr]

Brutally Honest Mutual Tag (nice edition)

Rules: copy the rules. for each question, tag max. one (1!) mutual. Must be someone who follows you and you follow them back, and must only be one url, no exceptions. (I saw a version of this around that had mean questions on it and wanted to make my own. Might still be controversial but if you really only tag 1 person for each q, nobody who sees it has to be too jealous because they might still be the secret number 2 or shared number 1!). You can add more questions but only positive ones! You don’t need to tag anyone you haven’t already tagged in the answers. Leave a blank copy of the questions for the next person.

1. The Mutual you’d most miss if they suddenly disappeared from the internet completely?

@squishmittenficfan <3

2. The Mutual you’ve most often met up with in person?

Probably @jackwolfskid from still active tumblr blogs? Or does it not count if we don’t know each other *through* tumblr? Still, just tagging one person, not overthinking this xD

3. The Mutual you share the most interests with?

I don’t know??? Do I need to count fandoms adsfghjkl maybe @my-gaydar-is-on-point hi!

4. The Mutual who makes the best art?

@onaperduamedee <3

5. A Mutual you do/would still follow even if you have/had no interests in common on your blogs anymore?

So many lol hi there @banashee

6. The Mutual whose blog contents you like the most?

@toboldlynerd :D

7. The Mutual who takes the best photographs

Am I even mutuals with anyone who takes photos??

8. The Mutual who writes the best stories/fic/poetry etc?

@nomi--sunrider!

9. The Mutual with the best taste in music?

@purlturtle :D

10. The Mutual whose blog aesthetic/web theme you like the most?

That would’ve been a great question for 2013 but I haven’t been on many people‘s web blogs in ages. @crazyworld I know your theme is cute, but I also know you haven’t been online in ages so you probably won’t see this <3

11. The Mutual who makes the best gifs/edits?

@girlgoneangsty without question!

12. The funniest Mutual?

@forestlion hi there newbie and immediately such an honor xD

13. A Mutual you’d adopt as your child/sibling without hesitation

@lavendelhummel <3

14. A Mutual you enjoy to talk to?

@die-schwanenkoenigin <3

15. The Mutual that makes you smile the most? @squishmittenficfan :)

And i love you all and my other mutuals and tumblr friends I’m not mutuals with as well <3

and i hope I only tagged actual mutuals adsfghjkl I double checked each time whether I actually follow you from at least one blog or the other, but I can’t see whether you follow me back except if you currently are in my notes, and sometimes it says something at the top of the tumblr chat! Which is hell to scroll up to And not very reliable lmao anyway if i tagged anyone who doesn’t follow me back absolutely don’t feel like you have to! We’re still tumblr fam <3 and the best world would be this

1. The Mutual you’d most miss if they suddenly disappeared from the internet completely? 2. The Mutual you’ve most often met up with in person 3. The Mutual you share most interest with 4. The Mutual who makes the best art 5. The Mutual you do/would still follow even if you had no interests in common on your blogs anymore 6. The Mutual whose blog contents you like the most 7. The Mutual who takes the best photographs 8. The Mutual who writes the best stories/fic/poetry etc 9. The Mutual with the best taste in music 10. The Mutual whose blog aesthetic/web theme you like the most? 11. The Mutual who makes the best gifs/edits 12. The funniest Mutual? 13. A Mutual you’d adopt as your child/sibling without hesitation? 14. A Mutual you enjoy to talk to? 15. The mutual that makes you smile the most

[timetobeaghost]

Who will notice Byler first?

Murray Bauman already knows; Changing the topic because he is actually discreet and a sweetheart. Who knew in season 2?

El is close.

No idea what Argyle is thinking. He might randomly know.

Karen if you give her the tiniest chance to observe them. Possibly knows already. Seems to tell Mike it's okay to be gay in S1, canonically reads Nancy well too.

Jonathan thinks it's one-sided, but he might be able to get it quite fast.

Dustin is bogged down buy heteronormativity, but if Robin would come out to him, he might be like "HOLD UP the missing variable!"

Honestly Steve could probably have a "Wait a minute" moment. He is really tuning his gaydar after all.

Well, or Robin herself. She really doesn't now either of them well, but maybe that would even help her see clearly. How cute would it be if Robin and Steve shared a questioning look about Byler and then quickly continue with the monster fighting plot.

I actually think Joyce is pretty oblivious or am I missing something? Otherwise she has great pokerface… My guess is she is oblivious and actually pretty bad at this relationship stuff.

I also do not think Nancy has the first clue tbh. She will have to be told or shown quite directly and be like "Oh!" I don't think Robin coming out to her would help her with this. Same with Max. Girlbosses can't read people?

Lucas is a wild card. I wouldn't be shocked either way, if they have to draw him a diagram or if he is catching a look and goes "I KNEW IT!". But probably more likely the former

WHAT D'YA THINK?

[luxshine]

Stranger Things Season 3 episode 3

Max is being a great friend for Eleven, but I wonder if anyone has told drunk Hooper where El is.

Will needs a better group of friends.

Mike also needs to remember that his girlfriend CAN and will check on him telepathically.

AND OMG, Hooper is SO happy that Mike is not there, that El has girl who is a friend, and ok, he's drinking too much, but he is right to be happy (although I am sure that in the 2000's? Girls would also been forbidden to close the door)

Spying on people is a BAD idea. But spying on Billy? Right now? Oh, worst AND BEST idea of all times since we need to get this plot moving and I am not sure they will listen to Dustin about the russian spies.

Will knows how to get what he wants. Good for him. He still needs better taste in men and friends.

Yes, Hooper actor was getting ready for Red Guardian, wasn't he? And the writers really hate his character because last season Hooper would have completely listened to Joyce about the magnets instead of staying angry for being jealous.

I see that all heterosexual men in the series have gone idiotic. Like, the only smart ones left are Steve and Will. Dustin is also smart, and he has a girlfriend, but given that all the others lost their mind, I am going to assume he's bi like his brother Steve.

Billy's room is surprisingly clean for a metal head of the 80's.

El knows. Oh, El knows something is seriously wrong with Bill. Time for Max to know her brother is a serial killer.

Seriously, I hate Nancy but I wouldn't blame her for going postal at the newspaper.

Ok. Dustin is straight. His gaydar is completely broken because he can't see that Robin and Steve? Totally siblings, not boyfriend-girlfriend. But also, he's very, very interested in keeping Steve happy. I love him.

Will is suffering a lot, and he really needs better friends. And wow, Mike. That is so jerky. "Not my fault you don't like girls". UGH. Mike, drop dead. In a ditch.

El is going to have to tell Max her brother is a serial killer.

Hooper is a jerk and I am so sorry that Joyce is still suffering for Bob's death.

Steve and Dustin need to learn a bit about spying because that guy looks more like an idiot gym rat than a russian guy and I was completely right. Also, Steve, his eyes are up there.

And of course, Robin is SO cool that she is the one who finds the Russians and breaks the code. I really like her more than Nancy already.

Nancy, just saying, you can add arsenic to the coffee and no one will miss those jerks. I mean, no one would even report the murders because it would not be a story and no reporter would be left to report them!

Oh hey! There's the Hooper I love! Speaking about feelings, understanding how people feel, being empathic and understanding! Ok, he still haven't got the memo that he should listen to Joyce's intuition, but at LEAST he is being the Hooper I love.

Will got one more thing that Eleven hasn't got: an apology! Well, he would have gotten it if the others had remembered where he goes when he feels lonely and sad. WIll, get a boyfriend, and then you can go back to those days of happiness. Also, start wearing pants. One of the problems is that you look very, very weird in those shorts. Steve can rock them, you can't.

Mrs. Driscoll got eaten by the Blob, didn't she?

Oh, worse. She got infected. And Jonathan forgot his camera. Jimmy Olsen, he's not.

Oh Steve... you know you are going to have to be super babysitter again, don't you? I mean, this time it took Dustin only three episodes to get himself in real deep shit. He's getting better at that! Which is not good for Steve's blood pressure but it's great for plot!

So Billy IS the Mind Flayer. That means that Billy is dead. Good. Now can we kill the Mind Flayer?

[khaleesiofalicante]

OMG MAVID SUPREMACY Y’ALL

I cannot with how cute max and David are. they already love each other so much god YOING LOVE FTW

HERONDALE-FAIRCHILD FAM IS UWU. 2 out of 3 LMAO. JACE AND ALEC’S KIDS DATING IS SMTH I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED. Who’s going to give who the shovel fall. I need a crack convo between Alec and Jace about this right about now.

Can y’all believe that Alec Lightwood-Bane is such a great consult that demon attacks are considered RARE in his time. Proud of bebe. MAX AND RAF USED ALLIANCE RUNE GODBLESS

MAGNUS AND RAFAEL ARE BEING AFFECTIONATE AGAIN OMG OMG I NEEDED THIS SO BAD AFTER CH.5. Alec’s soft ‘my love’ I’m in heaven. I’m love them all.

Ahahahaha Rafael and Magnus’s ‘bitch we knew’ was so on point. MAX U DRAMATIC LITTLE SHIT ALL U WANT IS DRAMA. Alec being out of the loop is the funniest thing to me. Sweetheart ppl consider you a gay icon! Step up YOUR GAYDAR. Pls notice things other than Magnus

NO

ABSOLUTELY NO

NOT THE DREADED IMMORTALITY TALK-

aaghh you can see the pain in Alec’s talk. pls someone let this man be happy. I hurt your dad”- it’s okay love Magnus has forgiven you. and both of u had sone blame in it. MAX AVOIDING FEELINGS LIKE THE PLAGUE LMAOO RELATABLE. Not maxwell lightwood bane calling his dad stupid and crazy. listen up u- I’m so glad this conversation happened tho.

MAVID’S TALK GOD THEY ARE ICONIC. SO MANY BRAINCELLS. I’m love them. I’m glad David was honest about how his feelings might change in the future. I LOVE THE MATURITY.

Yes max you’re right. Alec never had anybody he could talk to about this. I’m so glad he understood. I love the whole thing. A++ parenting. I’m glad Max told him about the pressure he and Rafe feels.

SHANGHAI MARKET ALEC YOU ABSOLUTE GENIUS-

“I want you”- MAVID AND MALEC PARALLELS I FCKN CANNOT.

Honourable mentions:- MINA U CUTU. elyaas lmaoo

David what would happen if JACE AND ALEC AND JEM HAD A BABY. HAHAHA HOW DO I GET THE MENTAL IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD. but also yes-

WARLOCK SQUAD MY HEART- Tessa. You absolute sweetheart I love u. Catarina is a queen and deserves to be the warlock president. ‘WHY DANI WHY R U LIKE THIS? WHY WOULD U SNEAK IN RAPHAEL’s DEATH JUST LIKE THAT. “ Ragnor had a soft spot for Rafael’ I WONDER WHY DANI????? HUH?? HUH??

ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD BANE! YOU ASSHOLE!! THIS SO CALLED RULE FOLLOWER DEADASS THREW HIS OWN KID IN THE FIRE FOR THE SMOKING THING- this shit keeps getting better love

I really tried to keep the feedback short but this chapter SERVED US MAVID, ALEC, WARLOCK SQUAD, LIGHTWOOD-BANE FAMILY CONTENT AND I COILDNT CONTROL (ngl the last draft was longer lmao)

MAVID SUPREMACY!!

Also this gives me a such Mavid vibes 🥺🥰🥺

[demigodtrash-butmakeitgay]

Hi i’m bored and procrastinating so here’s the Mircaulous characters’ sexualities if they were all LGBTQ+!! I probably won’t be able to do all of them the rest will be allies! Some of these are canon, some of them are not. Some of them we don’t know yet! So please don’t get angry because I’m “mAkInG tHeM aLl gAy fOr nO rEaSoN” it’s just for fun. you don’t have to agree. just move on. thanks :)

Marinette: Okay I definitely see her as demisexual but she’s never had feelings for a girl before??? But it’s a possibility she’s biromantic :)

Adrien: Bisexual. No doubt about it. He generally has no preference, but now is leaning more towards females.

Alya: Biromantic and demi! She was really nervous about telling Nino but he was super cool about it and gets her cute bi pride stuff!

Nino: Straight ally but we love him! Very comfortable in his sexuality! Adrien came out to him first. Loves to learn about everything especially if it concerns the ace spectrum. An educated boi and we have no choice but to stan.

Nathaniel: Bisexual. I’m pretty sure this is canon but I can F E E L it. My gaydar K N O W S.

Marc: Okay so hes either gay or pan idk I just get that vibe from him? I also have two headcannons that he’s either kinda feminine and really comfortable in his masculinity or he’s trans and Marinette was the first person he was out to. I love this boy so much and Nathaniel better treat him right.

Juleka: Lesbian. Moving on...

Rose: Lesbian. Obviously...

I love them together 🥺

Chloe: LESBIAN. no seriously i feel like she had a crush on Ladybug- Definitely has some internalized homophobia though...

Sabrina: Bisexual. Yea❤️

Max: Gay because i feel like he likes boys who like boys :)

Milen: Straight ace!! Ivan is super accepting and never forces her to do anything more than cuddle!

Ivan: Bisexual. You can’t convince me otherwise.

Kim: Also bi. And his girlfriend is too. I forgot her name lmao

Luka: My bi senses were definitely tingling with this one-

Lila: H O M O P H O B I C

Félix: Oh yea i can feel the internalized homophobia from here. He’s very gay. It got worse after his dad passed. And even though i despise Felinette bc it’s toxic (with canon Félix) i imagine him liking Marinette and being like ahah! i knew was straight! but wait i like a girl?! how the fuck does this work?! and then he’s realizes he’s bi and it’s great character development because he has to learn to accept himself and be a better person and idk it’d be a cool redemption ig. also he’s very pushy with Ladybug because he’s afraid of his feelings for boys, so yeah someone write a fanfic and credit me lmao.

Master Fu: Straight ally we love him🥺

I think that’s it? add more if you can think of any! Auroralei out~

[phlipshea]

maybe my url maybe? smooches ur nose

send me urls for me to kiss your ass because you’re worth it  

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  im  like.......not  satisfied  ??  with  my  day ???  unless  you’re  on  the  dash ???  Literally  you’re  so  good  and  i  just  wanna  wrap  u  in  blankets.   I  am  so  annoyed  you  cant  see  how  great  and  loved  you  are  but  i  suppose  i  do  the  same  shit  like  lmao  we’re  insecure,  paranoid  messes  and  we’re  fucking  valid --- but  not.  You.  Stop that.  Love  you,  bitch.  I  wanna  have  all  the  interactions  with  you  especially,   you  have  so  much  respect  for  everyone  around  you.  I’ve  never  had  someone  respect  my  muse  more  than  you  and  i  haven’t  had  an  ‘ummm....’  moment  once,  but  just  clutch  my  heart  and  appreciate  u  at  my  max.   the  fact  i  finally  have  someone  who  allows  character  development  and  reveals  is  great.  Like???  everyone  has  The Best Gaydar  and  doesn’t  let  my  muse  come  out  of  the  closet,  and  we  have  this  misunderstanding  plot  im  so  about  and  leads  up  to  such  a  Good  thread.  Also,  im  obsessed  with  MTV Scream  and  ..............  thank  God  you’re  here.  I  need  that  good  shit  and  everyone  needs  u  babe

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

More of the Misadventures of Aish rereading Misadventures and fixing typos, like a cowardly fool because I can’t sleep

chapters 21-25 oh no here we go

(actually I did this in like November on my phone but only just now remembered that I never posted it so here ya go, this is all weeks old)

Okay so with the chapter titles, I didn’t actually start naming them until about ch27 or so, but I had already nicknamed this chapter something like “IT’S FRIENDSHIP YOU COWARDS” bc this one got a surprising amount of notes on tumblr and I’m 99% sure most of the people who read it did not realize that this is in fact a Kimax fic

And also THIS CHAPTER WAS THE TURNING POINT. I could either have kept the fic rly lighthearted until way near the end, or decide to start shoving in the Angst much quicker. 3 guesses what I picked >:D

Oh highkey same Alix?? except for me it’s not superpowers or anything it’s just called “anxiety disorder”

The obliviousness physically pains me

I’m the guard who just blatantly lets Alix steal popcorn. also why was there just casually popcorn there. god I don’t even know what I was thinking when I wrote any of this

Oh yeah I remember!! I was mad at people setting off the smoke alarm while making popcorn in the middle of the night!! just uni things am I right

...why am I noticing now that the whole popcorn thing is just a metaphor for Kim’s entire love life I am going to throw this fic out of the window I swear

IT REALLY IS, UGH I HATE THIS, ARE YOU TELLING ME I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT

this is a freaking game of Civilization where one civ takes a runaway lead in the science victory while the rest are all still stuck in the industrial era

Kim is me watching dinosaur movies too tbh, dinosaurs are so frickin rad

well this is depressing

and adorable

I hate so much that I know what the Bad Dream means I hate it I hate it I h

IT’S OKAY KIM I’M PROUD OF YOU, YOU’RE MY SON AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

“It’s not up to you to question why people care about you so just roll with it” damn past me, that’s actually some really good advice???

Alix is a Kimax shipper even this early in the fic, btw. whenever she talks to them about each other she’ll always say stuff like “oh yeah you two are so close” or “he cares about you so much” without specifying whether she means that platonically... my dudes... she’s shipping it

Kim having an existential crisis in early hours of the morning is such a mood because it’s 2am and I’m having one right now

BAD FORESHADOWING, YES BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING SOON LIKE ASSASSINATIONS AND STUFF, YOU WEREN’T WRONG

Alright chapter 22 now

the carriage guards!! my favourite characters in the entire fic!!!!!! they’re the BEST okay they just casually chill at school through the entire thing and only show up again in the last chapter omg they’re so amazing I love them??? absolute LEDGES

Kim’s parents being all like “yeah if our son doesn’t wanna come home from school then just KIDNAP HIM and bring him back lmao”

“Hey, do you want me to threaten your guards with my snake or something?” WAS THAT FORESHADOWING??? BECAUSE SHE VERY MUCH DOES DO THAT LATER. TO DIFFERENT GUARDS YES BUT IT’S LEGIT A THING SHE DOES

talking on the phone is stressful? yes it’s that good old “anxiety disorder” again, really a pain tbh

god I’m so proud of Kim, already that good good character development

also Kim’s grandma is me

omg I have to put Kim and Alix’s dumb chess games in the sequel, I came up with an entire thing about how they blatantly cheat etc and it’s ridiculous and Max gets a headache whenever he has to “referee” (aka make sure they don’t fight), it’s so great okay

me: *thinks about chapter 34 and throws up*

oh I’m the snake too btw. the snake also will hate chapter 34

Max holy moly repressing your feelings isn’t healthy??? stop that

hhhhhhh chapter Lila now, like literally that’s the entire chapter 23, it’s basically just Lila

this is just the damn Volpina episode

dupainchien!!!!! dupainchien!!!!!!!!!

I know this isn’t even that much of a big deal in this fic but like... can Marinette and Adrien just get together already lmao

hskdjhdkjfhgs for the record Lila and Kim is actually a pretty good ship?? but they’d both try to out-brag each other and it would be ridiculous so uh

hm anyways. time for CHAPTER AROACE

Kim’s like. ABOUT TO start falling for Max oh thank god, I need this

Lila: *just stabs Kim’s homework with a parasol*

Kim just... Did That??? WE STAN

(oh and later note: in this he just treats Lila like how Adrien treated her in Chameleon lol)

I remember at this point I wasn’t sure if Lila would actually really return in the fic, and then literally like 2 chapters later I brought her back already because damn that girl needs a redemption arc

do I hug Kim or do I hug Max?? you FOOLS, you ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS, I am going to hug ALIX for having to deal with all their romo bullshit

Max trying to get drunk on orange juice is the mood

JULEKA’S MAGICAL GAYDAR!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!

(also Juleka is absolutely wearing a Reflekta dress)

Juleka, outright: “Max. my dude. alix is aroace you dense idiot. you are all idiots. you absolute fuckwits.”

I’m still the snake btw

hhhhhhhhhh I wanna make a daisy chain now, or just go outside and sprawl in some grass, I can’t because it’s 2.30am and I live in the city and it’s winter, screw this fic for making me miss my school days

oh no I’m having an allergic reaction again

I mEAN IT’S CUTE THO, IT’S CUTE, BUT I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN A BIT LATER SO THIS IS JUST PAINFUL

“You need more sleep” me calling myself out

I am going to hit Kim over the head,,

STOP BEING WEIRD JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER?? GOOD GOD I DON’T EVEN SHIP IT AND I STILL WANT YOU TO GET A BLOODY MOVE ON

oh good, he wants to smack himself in the face too

no nonono no Alix I think you are cute too. but you see, I mean it in the adopting way. but you ARE objectively adorable (source: the Reverser episode and also like all the other episodes) people just don’t say it in this au because of your TERRIFYING PET SNAKE

she offered to give him a telephone... lov that foreshadowing

*unimpressed* “are you in love with me?” OH FUCKING FINALLY

skdfhskdjfhsd avoiding people and having a heart attack when someone knocks on your door? I see the return of that anxiety disorder eh

Alix didn’t bring the snake (me) with her on purpose bc she knows Kim is still a bit scared of it at this point and doesn’t want him to be in a bad mood while she’s crushing his heart and soul

GOD YES I LOVE THIS SCENE

I hate myself because when I was writing this I was thinking “oh mood?? oh mood worm same hat???” and yet still. didn’t. realize. I’m. aro. *le sigh*

I’m gonna cry this is so sweet

“So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type?” no actually because Ondine is neither bossy nor intimidating (tho yeah she is hot) (and not particularly relevant in this fic unfortunately)

Alix is not in fact as oblivious as she claims to be btw, she just thinks it would sound mean to say “oh yeah I guessed you had a thing for me but I aggressively ignored it bc it annoyed me since I’m aroace lmao”

I’m genuinely going to hecking cry omg I remember now why this was my Ultimate Brotp for so long ugh it’s so good, @ ZAG LET KIM AND ALIX BE FRIENDS

I’m laughing?? so hard??? at the fact that their height difference is so ridiculous that literally like he has to kneel down??? god this is the funniest thing

oh also btw she was internally debating with herself like “should I give him the mistletoe kiss?? sounds gross but I feel so bad for him dammit” and decided to right there on the spot because she was lowkey curious anyway, which I’ll be honest is still an aro mood

OMG I’M ACCIDENTALLY SUCH A GENIUS OMG LISTEN NO LEMME EXPLAIN

SO LIKE. there are two (2) instances in this fic where I tried to pretend to be funny by dropping in the word “heartrate”. one is near the beginning, and the other is right here

in other words, the exact start and end points of Kim’s crush on Alix?? AND I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT OMG I’VE CHANGED MY MIND I’M PROUD OF MYSELF NOW

oh... oh no. uh oh. the dreaded evil Chapter Twenty Hecking Five

it’s called “Pain” for a reason. also my OG nickname for it was “Death”. also for a reason.

I even listened to Death Valley (the FOB song) on repeat while writing it (along with the next like 9 chapters lol) because the word DEATH just seemed so accurate

no really this is THE real turning point in the fic, where it stops being just a dumb teen movie and starts being all A N G S T Y

like this is the first chapter that has NO lightheartedness AT ALL

okay. here we go

this is all??? foreshadowing??? for dumb chapters like 30 and 34??? I Hate

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE SNAKE

I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK JUST READING THESE WORDS THIS IS SO HORRIFYING ALEXA PLAY DEATH VALLEY

this is the equivalent of seeing a kwami die, for the record. like I know kwamis can’t die but THIS IS HOW IT WOULD FEEL

god this is even worse in hindsight knowing what happens later, bc poor Alix is all like @ herself “oh well it’s a nightmare so it’s not real” and I’m just like... oh dear. honey. sweetie. welp. I mean on the bright side you’re psychic so that’s kinda cool right

I love how Jalil is actually really sweet and a genuinely cool brother, you just never get to see it when Kim’s around bc he hates Kim lmao (I mean for good reasons..)

“I can’t live without this snake!” I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

these timeline powers are SO cursed man. why was I so evil and cruel holy actual shit

(the whole “some character deaths but not really” tag refers to all this clusterfuck btw)

okay it’s funny how this bit with Adrien is the Collector episode despite it not having aired yet when I wrote this, I guess I’m psychic too

Nathalie being sympathetic huh? not so much in the sequel when I get round to it...

Adrikins being all “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” I’m dying

uh yeah there’s a difference between being grounded, and like, literal actual house arrest

damn... capitalism really is bad

so is imperialism

fix this damn typo thing where I used the word “soon” twice in one sentence like was that really necessary

DUPAINCHIEN

I love how Kim is so obviously bi that even Marinette notices and straight-up tries to set him up with a hot commoner boy

oh noes here comes The Death

Hi Aish Snekwami, I am afraid

god imagine how horrible it must be??? to have something traumatic happen in another timeline but you’re still aware of it in this one so you still suffer the effects even though nothing bad happened in this timeline????

Max shows up for two seconds this chapter to remind everyone that I have an anxiety disorder again and then hecks off, good for him

HOLY FUCK?!?!?! IMAGINE LITERALLY DYING ACTUAL DEATH IN ANOTHER TIMELINE AND EVEN THOUGH YOU SURVIVE IN THIS ONE YOU STILL HAVE TO LIKE. FEEL THE WHOLE TIME YOU’RE DYING OF GODDAMN COBRA VENOM HOLY FUCK WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY

I mean I think I remember writing this when I was on a very heavy painful period which full-on incapacitated me but like even that’s nowhere near as bad as fucking. snake. bite (ye I did some research, it was creepy...)

man this is so evil... I can’t

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO DIE

god that’s so haunting ughhhhhhhhh

honestly whenever I stub my toe etc I always think to myself “is this karma for that time I lowkey killed Alix off in chapter 25?” and yeah, it probably is

OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

To Flower or Not To Flower?

Recently, I've been asked a question all people come across in life. "If you've only had one boyfriend all your life, are you a virgin?" Since this blog has nothing to hide, I'll answer your question. Yes, yes I am. There's no shame whether you are or aren't. I'm waiting for when I'm comfortable to give all of myself to the lucky fellow. I am a woman with high standards, like many there's nothing wrong with that. I do often get picked on for being a prude and too picky, but by today's standards, it's hard to find your like orientation in the dating game. My type is a straight male, preferably older than me by a year or two that knows where he's going in life. I'd like a man who like me, doesn't need someone in his life but isn't afraid to look anyway. Let's just say... my gaydar has never worked and I have fallen head over heels for people who have little to no interest in girls a few times. Naturally, we've become good friends, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope we all find our other halves soon. If I do happen across a straight male, we have no problem hitting it off, but automatic relationships aren't my thing. I'm definitely a fan of the dapper man in a suit but it can really be hit or miss. The norm is; he wants a girl with lots of steam but acts like she has never been in a relationship. Trust me when I say there IS NO in between! Believe me, being yourself isn't even an option anymore. Not to mention, that you either fall into one category or the other by complete default. The issue I've often heard is "We're Either Too Pure or Complete Sluts".

Since I hide nothing here yes, I am a virgin. Seeing as my lack of lasting and/or the initiation of relationships has been unsuccessful, it should be no surprise that my sexual encounters should be the same. Before anyone asks, this is NOT an open advertisement that I see lots of people flaunting on tv. I feel that it is necessary to inform my audience of my status to better connect them should they have similar situations. For some reason, there's just something about us that is imperfect. No matter how hard we try and put in the effort we're still not good enough. There's a song I came across just the other day by Bella Poarch called Build A B**** that perfectly describes the predicament so many face. I'd like to believe that this song and Not Your Barbie Girl by Ava Max are anthems for singles, particularly this time of year. No wonder it can be difficult for people to share in a connective experience when everything we never seems to be just right. Much like the lyrics "you don't get to pick and choose different a** or bigger boobs if my eyes are brown or blue..." what is it about these standards that make dating impossible in today's day and age? I have a condition called Amenorrhea that allows me to have baby smooth skin and lack of "visits from Aunt Sally". Not all is good there since it obliterates my chances of having children and can lead to ovarian cancer later in life. Ironically, lots of guys have told me that they wish women didn't menstruate and were baby smooth. (Apologies for TMI) Ideally, some could say that I'm every man's dream though it is far from the truth. I am very much lacking in the upper body department which can sometimes cause me to be mistaken for a male when my hair is covered. When it comes down to sex and the appeal, is it better the first time or when one is experienced? Here's what people had to say;

Anonymous: "The first time I had sex was one of the most amazing things that have ever happened to me. It was wonderful, memorable, and a great part of a loving relationship. Depending on the different types there are there can be many first times, so I guess first time is great."

Anne: "First time. In my opinion sex for a woman for the first time is a good hurt. That’s an oxymoron, but that’s exactly how it feels. It is the best hurt your body can ever endure. Everyone remembers their first time having sex and who they did it with like the back of their hand."

Bob: "The guy should remember this time is especially for her. Her comfort and relaxed state are of primary importance. Go slow and don't rush in, and make sure she's completely warmed up. Can't say it's any different the first time or the hundredth time on our end, so no."

Lynn: "Something I don't want to remember. It was basically about him, it was basically over. No."

Winston: "Not at all like in the books. Women are uncontrollable and it's hard to enjoy yourself if she's wanting everything her way. Then it's super awkward when you see each other naked for the first time. More experience is better. It's the first time that can scar you."

Anonymous: "Definitely the first time! It was different and we both loved it. I was her first and she was mine, we've been together since before then. I'm glad she was pleased with me."

I'm guessing from the mixed opinions it depends on the person. According to my blue-haired bestie, it's better when both people are definitely in the right mindset and are willing to work with each other. For someone younger than me, she's never been a more down-to-earth person that'll give it to you straight. One thing's for sure after a long explanation of her experiences in the process, I'm definitely going to her for advice. The two of us lonely hearts obviously wanted to escape the many couples in our lives and hang out. Normally we work endlessly and tirelessly at our day jobs on Valentine's Day and have our Annual Anti-Valentine's party the following night. This year, we were both off early and decided to spend the night out on the town. We went to Chili's and got the drink of the month followed by some tipsy skee ball at Dave and Busters. It was fun working off the booze with three hours of arcade games. We're trying to win a frozen margarita maker that we obviously could buy on amazon for practically nothing, but what's the fun in that? $70 on arcade games over a few months is more entertaining and it lets us build up tickets and quality time that we've been lacking. Our male friend was, unfortunately, working a double that night and his usual the following day, so he couldn't kill zombies with us, but there's always next year. On the bright side, he didn't miss a pinata smash since there was a substantial lack of funds for one this year. I'm willing to bet that next year will be epic whether or not there is hope for the three of us.

For now, instead of having a wild romantic night like most of our families and friends, there is the Anti-Valentines party each year. To give you some insight, here's what our typical night of events looks like:

A playlist of tracks involving hurt, or messy breakups (for laughs)

Lots of drinks and food

The profane poster to write insults on and sign

More drinking and games (out in town with Uber/Lyft or at home)

Unleash our aggressions on a heart-shaped pinata

*TRUCKLOAD OF DISCOUNTED CHOCOLATE*

Time to talk and heal on all the dirty details

A movie to fall asleep to

A morning to relax from the hangovers

There's lots of fun to take your mind off of things so you're not thinking about how lonely you are. Believe us, we know how it feels. We all hang out over drinks and some fun to take a break from the most depressing time of year. This sort of thing happens even outside of the holidays. Sometimes you just need a good cry, something my male friend says often. He couldn't be more right. Truth be told, even he's gotten closer to intimacy than I ever could. One of his ex-girlfriends nearly got down and dirty with him in a family bathroom. I suppose in the heat of the moment anything will do so long as it's private. I'd like to think that when my special moment arrives it'll be the most eye-opening experience ever. My male friend pictures himself married and having a platonic experience with his future wife. My female friend had her first time as a teenager and describes it much like how it happens in a teen movie. I always picture myself in my apartment on a beautiful day but for some reason, I'm incredibly pissed off at my partner. They both joke that I'm secretly wanting a fiery relationship and that I'd wear the pants in the relationship. Somehow their confidence in my intimate skills are a little higher than mine are. When the topic changes from him attempting to toss me, that's when it gets a little interesting. I guess my Aikido skills are better than I thought for them to think that. When it comes down to it, I'll be sure not to let loose too many details. I'll leave the audience with that. For now, keep believing, and Much Love Your Way Darlings!

[gallerydating606]

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[cavehags]

i didn't realize veronica was so high up on your list of characters to make gay. tell me about gay veronica.

maokay wow, so apparently i had a lot to say about this even though this is literally my first time putting all my thoughts together on the issue. veronica mars being straight makes no goddamn sense at all in my opinion for three reasons: trope symmetry, plot and characterization. i’m gonna talk mainly about the way the show would be better if she was gay, but toward the end i’ll talk a bit about coding and how she pretty much looks gay already.

trope symmetry - this is the most obvious part so i’ll get it out of the way: obviously the noir trope in which a detective becomes obsessed with uncovering a loved one’s killer usually happens when the victim is the detective’s wife or girlfriend. in male-driven noir it’s of course a misogynist trope that reduces a woman’s entire life to just what she meant to the male protagonist, but i think it is appropriate to adopt for veronica.

looking at veronica’s other canon friendships after lilly, we mainly have wallace, mac, weevil and meg, and none of these friendships come close to being as intimate as what we see of veronica and lilly together in flashbacks. they share clothes and change in front of each other, talk about feelings (which is big for veronica! she doesn’t like to do that!), etc. having them simply be best friends is there for the “no homo” of it all, but the degree of veronica’s loss - and a more poignant demonstration of why she feels like she’s a changed person after losing lilly - is best illustrated if they were girlfriends. there’s also the fact that, like many male noir heroes, she has a cynical attitude toward love. you could attribute this to a combination of her parents’ separation and the fact that the entire PI industry is founded on untrusting relationships, but i think a part of her did believe in love and now is convinced she can never have it again. veronica believes that loss makes her smarter and more sophisticated; extracting herself from the 09er clique and seeing it from the outside completely changed her perspective on how they treat people. i think losing lilly felt like a wake-up call to her that showed her that she doesn’t get to have romantic love (which might in turn explain her going on to date men for a while despite not really liking them). 

plot

first, we can all agree duncan was a bad character and didn’t need to exist. (i mean at least i think that’s a common opinion. people hate him, right?) veronica entering the 09ers’ world because she was dating duncan is a fine way to set up her friendship with lilly and her falling-out from the 09er scene but a better way to establish this, imo, is if she was dating lilly, and they became the first popular 09ers to be out in a gay relationship. in this alternate scenario, lilly is so well-liked that people generally keep their comments to themselves around her and veronica while they’re together (even though, you know, the 09ers are awful and absolutely gossip about it behind lilly and veronica’s backs), but then lilly dies, veronica withdraws from the social circle completely, and the 09ers come to hate her not just because she’s poor and because of her dad’s investigation of the kanes, but also because the gay thing never sat right with them to begin with and they’re glad to not have to pretend to be okay with it anymore. 

moving forward from there, the show spends a lot of time illustrating the 09ers’ prejudices, mainly based on race and class. seeing the 09ers’ from the perspective of veronica, an outsider who is very critical of their social structure and the way they treat people, allows the show to treat those prejudices frankly and really hammer the point that privileged and wealthy people are often pretty intolerant in the name of being protective of their own power. (the episode about “pirate points” springs to mind as an obvious demonstration.) we see moment after moment in which veronica is shown to “know better” than the intolerant, ignorant attitude that some 09er or another is spouting. that’s great and makes her a trustworthy character, but in an ideal world, we would be seeing this from the perspective of a character who isn’t just poor, but also a) gay and b) a woman of color to avoid her falling into a “white savior” trope and more fully explain her awareness of subtle demonstrations of intolerance. in many episodes, being on the receiving end of misogyny and classism gives veronica an “in” to exploit those prejudices or pick up on clues that help her with her detective work; it follows from there that the more that people overlook her for various aspects of her identity, the more attuned and capable she is as a detective.

(to sidebar for a second while i’m here, i really love kristen bell in the role, but veronica being white is kind of a cop-out, isn’t it? she is a low-income kid from southern california who has to prove herself ten times more than her rich white peers to get a fraction of the respect - i just feel like it makes no sense for her to be white either. i mean, this was 2004 on the CW and the whole thing was supposed to seize on the popularity of pretty blonde girls doing masculine things a la buffy, so what do you expect, but anyway.) 

character

gay coded veronica is the best way to explain her “outsider” status in neptune and the way she proceeds in relationships. i already mentioned that veronica is excluded and tormented for things she has no control and that enduring this harrassment taught her cynicism and independence. we’re led to believe that this is part of the reason why she is really reluctant to go “all-in” romantically. early on in her relationship with max greenfield’s character, things get awkward when he starts to like her more but veronica is pretty much using him for access to police files. this is a classic closeted relationship in which veronica simply isn’t on the same page as he is romantically, but she’s getting something out of the relationship anyway (the kane files) so she sustains it. it’s worth examining the fact that her other relationships are often defined by the fact that the guys are closer to being ready to commit than she is. this is a completely unusual dynamic for a female character and it is certainly explained by her history, but it is much better explained if she’s not attracted to men. it’s also worth pointing out that many of veronica’s defining traits - her independence, her casual feminism (she doesn’t always get it right, sorry susan knight, but she tries), her empathy for other marginalized people - are pretty closely associated with lesbian stereotypes too. and with her perceptiveness and intelligence veronica would absolutely kill in the lesbian dating scene wherever she went on to live and would be the absolute queen of good gaydar and avoiding getting sucked into a uhaul scenario. the end