#Makes me wonder if they were planning on having Mario with a lot less self confidence at the beginning

[pianokantzart]

A little obsessed with the "utterly burnt out & can't quite figure out how to make it work in this economy" depiction of Mario in the concept art.

Look at him. He's so tired.

[ifbench]

Rescue Team DX

Rescue Team DX is a game that means a lot to me. Not only was it the very first PMD game I truly played, it was the first Pokemon game I finished. Before this, I never finished a Pokemon game before.

I got it as a graduation gift from my siblings, and originally didn't have any plans on playing it, but after talking friend of mine in another community, who was a big fan of PMD, I decided to try it, and liveblog my experience to her.

Best decision I ever made in 2020.

It was the most emotion I felt about a game ever up until then. Closest thing to it was maybe Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks or Mario and Luigi: Dream Team.

Rescue Team DX was the first game that I actually cried at. When me and my partner were chased out of town, with Run Away, Fugitives playing...I legitimately teared up. And when my partner called out my name as I drifted away at the end of the game...I started full-on crying.

Compared to other PMD games, its story may be simplistic. But does that invalidate it as a story? Does that make its story any less worth telling? I don't think so.

It may not have the grand, time-spanning or world-spanning plot points of Explorers or Super, nor the fantastically-developed characters of Gates. But it has heart.

It has a tale it wants to tell, and that tale is one that resonated with me to my very core. It's a simple tale of finding your place in an unfamiliar world, but I love it with all my heart.

I think Rescue Team DX made a masterful decision in having the artstyle be similar to a picture book. It's a simple tale, one a child could enjoy, yet still has enough heart and care put into it to make a grown man cry.

DX embraces this with the artstyle, painting the world as if it was a bedtime story that you want to hear again and again every night. It feels like childlike wonder recaptured.

Does it have its flaws? Sure. The Mankey gang quest, for one. But a few too many treks through one dungeon isn't enough to sour the experience for me.

Rescue Team DX is something truly special to me, in that I could only ever play it once. I could never find it in my heart to start another save file, to erase the memories me and my partner had together.

Acacia the Chikorita may have just been pixels on a screen, but I cared for him. I cried over him. I wanted to hug him.

Sometimes, I do play a little more. Going on with my current team, and doing a few more rescues. But for the most part, Acacia lives on through my writing and memories.

Rescue Team DX is a story of coming to terms with an unfortunate event, and learning to make the most of what you have now. It's about learning to find yourself in an unfamiliar world. It's about growing attached to that once-unfamiliar world, and wanting to stay. It's a story about self-discovery.

And, in a way...given what I was dealing with at the time I first played it, it was exactly what I needed.

I love, with all my heart, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team DX.

[cleverhideoutchild]

Sooo if your requests are open; how would the LIs react if when the MC showed up they were dating Solomon?

As a Solomon stan, I like this idea. Btw, this might be a bit short.

And because you didn't say any specific characters, I'll just include the big brothers first. If you want me to do the little brothers too, just tell me okay? This might be OOC

Masterlist

Rules

Prompts list

Headcanons under the cut btw

Fandom : Obey Me!

Type : Bulleted headcanons, scenarios

Pairings : Solomon x GN!MC (?)

Genre : Angst angst angst

Includes : Solomon, Lucifer, Mammon, and Leviathan.

Warnings : Heartbreak (?), OOC (I think), slight curse words

Summary : You and Solomon started dating a few weeks ago and it is time to tell the demon brothers about it.

A/N : not proof-read

Lucifer

Oh bOY-

He already expected this but it still hurts him

He guessed that you might want to date a human like yourself and not a demon like him

He was thinking to threat Solomon to break up with you, but after seeing how happy you are with him, he decided to throw away his plan

He support your decision, and is happy for you

But at the same time he doesn't. He felt hurt. I guess this is what happened if you let yourself foolishly fall in love with a mortal

How dare you mess with his feelings like this.

He might try to burried himself in more work, but you being the angel you are, doesn't let him

Despite you already taken by someone, you still cared for him, you still looked after him

Sometimes he wonders, if he's fast enough and let his pride down sooner, would he be the one hugging you instead of Solomon?

"Lucifer?" You called out, peeking out behind his office door. It's 11 P.M and you realized he's not asleep yet after you wanted to get yourself a warm cup of tea. You then proceed to walk into his office.

He doesn't stop you, instead he continue working and checking the papers for the school's event. When you got close enough, you set down a cup of tea you made for him (you made 2 cup of tea after realizing he's still awake).

"Why aren't you asleep yet? It's really late." You asked while sitting down on a nearby chair and sipping on your tea. He looks up from the papers and turns his head towards your direction.

Oh how he regrets doing that. Cause what he sees next is both a blessing and a curse. And it was you, sitting on a chair under the moonlight, sipping your tea peacfully. Oh how he just want to hug and kiss you right here right now. Wanting to call you his.

But fate doesn't like that. That's why instead of you being his, you're Solomons. Damn, lucky bastard. He quickly looks away from you..

"I still have things to do." He answers quietly. He then took a sip of his tea. "You should get some sleep. Humans are a lot fragile than is demons." He said while continuing his works. You smile softly at nothing then stands up.

"Yeah, I should probably head back to sleep. Don't forget to take some break, Lucifer. Goodnight." You said to him softly, you then walked out of his office. Leaving him in silence once more.

Mammon

This guy-

He's going to wonders what did he do wrong to you? Why on earth would you date Solomon? He's shady af

Is he too mean to you that you finally decided to find someone a lot kinder?

He thought he was your first man. He is, isn't he? So why?

Was he too slow at confessing to you? Was he not good enough for you? He'll be asking that question a lot

He tries to distant himself from you, but at the end of the day, he still came back to you

He might also try to gamble more to spend less time with you, but that also didn't work

He's jealous and heartbroken, yes. But he supports your relationship with Solomon. As long as you're happy, he's happy as well

He'll still keep an eye on Solomon though, just incase

Both you and Mammon had just finish buying groceries and are heading back to HOL. But due to how many groceries you both bought, you guys decide to take a little break.

"I think we brought to much..." You said while sitting down on the ground. "I'm sure it's fine." He answers while fanning himself. That's when Solomon happens to pass by and sees you and Mammon sitting on the ground.

He then walks towards you both and smiles. "What are you both doing slacking off here?" He said teasingly. You perks up at the sound of his voice. You looked up to see him giving you his usual smile.

"Solomon!" You smiled up at him. Mammon who was sitting beside you just looked at you and Solomon conversing with each other. He envies how much Solomon can make you smile. He envies the position he has in your life.

But at the same time he understands. He's a demon, while Solomon is a human. Just like you. Of course you'll be much much comfortable dating someone with the same species as you.

He averts his eyes away from you both to prevent his heart breaking even more. He's such a fool, he thought. How can he be so stupid to fall in love with a mere human mortal? Now he understands why his brothers called him a fool and stupid.

"-Do you guys need help carrying the groceries?" He manage to hear Solomon asked you. "If you don't mind that is." He answers in your stead. He needs to learn to let you go soon. You're already taken, and happy. And he can live by with that.

Leviathan

Poor boy is gonna be sad and heartbroken :(

He's going to go down a spiral of self-deprecation abyss, thinking he was never good enough for you in the first place. You were to good for him

He have guessed it, you obviously don't want to date an otaku like him. You would rather date someone as amazing as Solomon

And to top it off, your both humans, while he himself is a demon. Of course it wouldn't work

He's happy for you, of course. You're dating his fellow TSL nerd. And he also supports your relationship. Can't lie though, he's somewhat envious to Solomon

He tries to lock himself up more in his bedroom, refusing to see you and playing games to distract his mind

But you manage to coaxed him to not do that cause that might damage his health and sleep schedule. So he stops doing so

You both still plays game and watch animes together, but not as often anymore due to dates and hangouts you have

"I win!" You cheered while raising your arms high up in the air. Leviathan just sigh at your lil' victory dance. There really is no beating you in this game, huh? You both are playing Mario karts, and for some odd reasons, you manage to always win despite him cheating.

But I guess it's worth losing if it means he gets to see you do that stupid lil' victory dance everytime you wins. Everything you do just seem to make his heart flutter. But him being the awkward person he is, looks away from you and opted to look at the screen.

That's when your D.D.D began to rings. It was a reminder. You looked at it for a hot second and let out a small gasp. "What is it?" He asked you while taking his headphones off.

You gave him a small smile, the smile that always make him blush a bit. "It was a just reminder." You answers while picking your stuff up. "About what?" He asked after rumaging through his memories of any important event that was going to be held today.

"It's nothing. Both me and Solomon was planning to go to the park today." Ah... So that's what the reminder is about. Your date with Solomon. "Well then, have fun!" He said while giving you a somewhat forced smile.

You nods while smiling at him, "I'll bring you back something interesting!" You said while walking out of his room, waving. After you left, he just sat there. Thinking, if only it was him that you went out with. He won't mind going out from time to time if it was with you. He sigh, knowing sooner or later, he needs to move on from you.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #437

“you get what you pray for  /  you don’t get anything”

Do you tell your mom and dad everything? No. Who was the last person you talked about something that was bothering you with? Most likely my mom. What’s your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Who did you last share a taxi with? I've never been in a taxi. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I've never done drugs, but the first time I drank was actually an accident. I'd come in from a long, hot walk, and I desperately needed water, and Mom offered me what I thought was just pink lemonade. Turns out it was a Mike's Hard Lemonade and I CHUGGED it before everyone around me was like "NOOOO!" because it was alcohol lmaooo. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? I'm sleeping in my car. I'm afraid of things like bed bugs. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? I don't think so? Have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep? Pretty sure no. What is your favourite planet? Saturn! Do you enjoy Mario games? Not really, honestly. They're just not my style. Mario Kart is fun every now and again, though. What flavor fruity drink is your favorite? Strawberry, in most cases. Ever done a keg stand? No. Who is the last person you lent money to? My mom. Do you have any health problems that are unusual for your age? I have carpal tunnel in my wrists from typing so much, but I'm not sure how "unusual" that is for young adults nowadays... I feel like there's something else, but it's evading me right now. Do you bite your nails? No, I pick/peel at them. :x What’s the longest nap you’ve ever taken? Oh god, hours. To the point it no longer really qualifies as a "nap." When people ask you about school, what is your usual response? Do you enjoy talking about school? Why or why not? I get all awkward and just reply that I gave it numerous shots, but my mental health couldn't handle it. I hate talking about school because I feel like a failure. Do you know how to fill a car’s tire with air? Have you ever had to do it? No to both. Do you like your best friend’s parents? Why or why not? Omg I LOVE them. They are spectacular people with massive hearts. I especially am drawn to her dad, whom I find incredibly inspiring. Both her parents are just great. I miss 'em. What do you like in your hot cocoa - marshmallows, whipped cream, candy canes? Do you even like hot cocoa? I loooove hot chocolate. I really just prefer it plain, but you can toss a few marshmallows in there. Which do you have a problem with: over-eating or under-eating? I'm way more likely to over-eat than under-eat. A girl likes her food lmao. The last boy you kissed, good-looking? He's by no means ugly, but I wasn't physically attracted to him personally. Do you love him? Not romantically, but definitely platonically. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. I don't like Pepsi. When was the last time you were given flowers? Ummm... I want to say the last time was many years ago when Tyler visited for the first time when we started dating. What do you want to name your children? I don't want kids. But hypothetically, Alessandra and probably Damien. Would you ever write a letter to someone you haven’t met yet, like your future spouse? No. I'd probably get too emotional anyway. Do you carry a mirror in your purse? No. Do you believe that there is beauty in everything? I've always thought this was such a stupid idea that tries to make reason out of life and its tragedies. Like yeah, cancer, rape, murder, etc. are definitely "beautiful." There is absolutely no beauty in a vast plethora of things. The first time you smoked, did you cough like a fool? I've never smoked before. When you were younger, did you have a Neopets account? Oh, yes. I loooooved Neopets, but not quite as much as Webkinz. I've actually remade a Neopetz account multiple times because I'd forget my info, ha ha... Who was the last person you got in a fist fight with? I've never been in a physical fight. Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? Not "move out," no. We did, however, have a fight where I stayed with Dad for I want to say a week, maybe a bit less. Do you dislike anyone? Why? Well, yes. I don't know anyone who doesn't dislike somebody. There are a few people, in my case, that I'm not going to spend time going through and pointing out what I don't like. Do you think you will be in a relationship 2 months from now? No. Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? Like constantly. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman usually does, yeah. Do you have any baby pictures of yourself on your computer? No. Mom has those in photo albums. What kind was the last chip you ate? I want to say traditional Lays? It was at my nephew's bday party. Do you eat onion rings? No, I'm not a fan. What was the last thing to disgust you? I think it was some thumbnail I saw on YouTube, even though it was (weakly) blurred. Where do you see your ex in 5 years? "The" ex, I don't want to think about it. Probably somewhere great for him, but would break my heart if I knew. Do your parents swear? Dad swears big time, while Mom tries to hold it back. You won't hear her say something like "fuck" unless she is SERIOUSLY upset. Do you ever drink warm milk? Warm milk sounds literally disgusting. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? No. I literally just came back from my break from it, so it'd be more funny than anything. The universe's way of telling me "nah, son." Who do you know that wears the most makeup? My friend Summer, but then again she's a cosmetologist. Have you ever had bronchitis? No, thankfully. Jason had it BAD once and I will neeever forget that cough, good Lord. Do you like to wear makeup? I hate applying it more than anything. Like, I love that it can help me feel prettier, but I pretty much never wear it because it's just a pain to put on, especially by myself because I have bad tremors in my hands. How many times have you been to the ER? Way too many times for being suicidal. How often do you feel lonely? Honestly, pretty much always. When are you most uncomfortable? I dunno, man. I'm always uncomfortable about one thing or another. Has anyone ever revealed a secret about you? Not that I remember... Have you ever revealed anyone else’s secret? No, that is such a shitty thing to do. Have you ever had a family member/friend that was hospitalized? Yes. Have you ever been in trouble with the law? No. Is there anything you want to experiment with? I mean, nothing that quickly comes to mind. There are things I want to try, but nothing major. What do you hope happens to you after you die? Mixed feelings. Sometimes I hope there's some sort of nirvana-like state we experience, I think it'd be wonderful to be reunited with loved ones, but I also sometimes think it'd be best if we just... stopped existing. Consciousness just stops. I dunno. I'll find out eventually. What is the most disgusting thing you have seen in person (not on TV)? Probably a maggot-infested deer corpse that I faintly remember from where I used to live. I thought it was the sickest thing ever lmao, in both senses. What is something others make fun of you for? Always holding some sort of technology. Just don't fucking comment on it. It makes me self-conscious as hell. Is your life turning out like you pictured it would? QUITE THE FUCKING OPPOSITE. Do your initials spell out a word? No. Has anyone ever given you roses? Yeah. Last baby you held? My older sister's youngest daughter. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or groomsman? My aforementioned sister's. What is something you would never do to your body? I mean, there's a large number of things. There are certain piercings and tattoos I wouldn't dare to get, I plan on taking care of my hair as best I can to avoid ruining it despite wanting to dye it a lot... *shrug* Stuff like that. How are you planning to decorate your house for Halloween? I don't know if we'll decorate. We haven't really for a few years now... I don't have the motivation to do it myself, and now that it's just me and her and I'm grown up (I know, I'm laughing too), Mom doesn't really bother with doing it. I know I DO want to carve pumpkins this year, though. Dunno what, but I'll figure it out. Ever lived in a trailer park? No. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NOOOOOOOOOOO Can you count in binary? No. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I'll eat both, but I have a strong preference for soft ones. When was the last time someone kissed you on the cheek? Who was it? I'm sure that was either my niece of nephew when I was leaving their house when I last visited for Ryder's birthday. What kind of ice cream did you eat last? Where’d you get it from? It was chocolate. I had a scoop at the aforementioned birthday party. Do you like flowers? What is your favorite kind to receive? I love flowers. I don't have a favorite to receive, really. Have you ever unblocked someone that you blocked before? Yes. Has anyone slapped you across the face before? If so, why? No. Do you prefer to have more or less in common with your significant other? I like to be pretty similar. Would you take a shot of heroin for a million dollars? No. I don't fuck with that, even for that much money. Why don’t you talk to your ex anymore? He wants nothing to do with me. Do you think it is okay to drive while high? Obviously not...? Do you find Halloween or Valentine’s Day more exciting? Halloween. Has anyone you know ever had serious surgery before? Yeah; my mom immediately comes to mind in both instances she had cancer. When she had kidney cancer, the tumor was larger than the kidney itself, and she lost the entire organ. When she had ovarian cancer, she had to have a complete hysterectomy because the cancer was EVERYWHERE along her reproductive system to an almost fatal degree. My mom's pretty metal. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not? No, because that's a violation of privacy? You don't do that shit. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not, have you ever came close to? Yes. The only time that I remember was maaaany years ago, like, maybe '14. I've nearly fainted plenty of times since then for various reasons, but mostly just from low blood pressure. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in that class or how you used to before you took the class? Yes; I believe one course was mandatory in middle school. I type the proper way, yeah. Ever cut your hair (the entire thing – not just the bangs or a little part) yourself? Noooo. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having? Well, I'd like to be a freelance photographer, but to be real, I'm starting to loosen up on that dream. It's been too long, I just don't see it happening anymore. Baby steps are one thing, but I've barely managed any of those in forever. Ever meet and talk to someone from an online dating site? No. Would you date someone you weren’t physically attracted to? Why or why not? Yes; I've done it before. I just care way more about emotional chemistry. Besides, historically, me liking someone for their heart has made each person a lot more attractive to me as a whole. Last person to hang up on you? I dunno. What’s your favorite scary movie? The Blair Witch Project. The second one is great, too, plus The Crazies. Which urban legend is your favourite? Oh man, you can't ask me this. I LOVE cryptids and conspiracies 'n shit. Are any of your fears completely irrational? Yes, like whale sharks. A whale shark ain't gonna hurt u boo but I see that mouth and am like no thnx Where is the light switch in your room? Funnily enough, I don't have a light switch; there isn't a ceiling light in this room. I instead have two table lamps that I can turn on on either side of my bed. Would you make a good lawyer? Hell no, I cry when I argue lmao. It's funny tho because I remember in TWO instances, in-depth surveys recommending jobs for you brought up me being a lawyer, and each time I was just like,,,,, no???????? Why did your family decide to live where you’re living now? It was more necessity than anything. Our old house had a LOT of issues to it, and with Mom's cancer diagnosis, she needed the cleanest environment possible, and that was NOT our old place. The house we live in now is owned by a family friend, and when the previous owner died, the timing just... kinda worked out to where that family friend I mentioned helped us pay our way into here. We really don't like this place because of the location, but it had to work. What was the best pet you've ever had? All things considered, I have to hand it to my boy Teddy. That dog was someone special. Very, very special. If you were allowed one murder without punishment, would you do it? Nah. Name one song you can play on an instrument, any instrument! I can probably still slam out "Hot Cross Buns" on a recorder. \m/ Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? Noooo, I'm scared to. On the opposite sex, do you prefer muscles, average size, or scrawny bodies? It depends on the person, ig. I can be attracted to any of those. Just not EXTREME muscle. Not my thing at all.

[kezibun]

Story time with Kezi.... ^^;

Hey guys… it turns out that turning in early when you're not used to sleeping means you wake up hella early even though you were exhausted and still tired. And well when you lie in bed awake for a couple hours your mind kinda has time to wonder and think.. 

 So yeah… There's a little memory that's been plaguing me recently and kinda randomly hit hard tonight as I actually had time to process recent events. It's nothing big, just a story about friendship and betrayal… It came back into my head recently because the other week my friends had forgotten to pick me up for this thing. I'd chatted with one of them in the morning and it sounded pretty definite but then when I waited for a couple hours with my coat, shoes, my bag ready and everything… well I don't even know what happened and frankly I haven't asked. That wasn't too bad but I had this nagging thought in the back of my head that it was happening again…

You might not know this… well not many do but I kinda have a little bit of a fear of missing out and I'm really sensitive to being left behind or feeling like I've been forgotten. By telling you this story from my past I'm not looking for sympathy or anything but just to get this off my chest to hopefully give myself some piece of mind. Maybe I'll stop thinking about it if I tell you guys?... It's not too bad of a story and I know a lot of you have gone through much worse but as a sensitive kid who's confidence and self worth had already been knocked to zero at this point in my life this just really affected me... anyway let me tell you about her..

You see I had this friend, she was my best friend, It was me, her and our other bestie against the world. The three of us together through thick and thin, we had promised to be best friends forever. I made friendship bracelets and we had best friend necklaces.

Every time I went away the first thing on my mind was what gift can I bring back for her. I really looked up to her, sure she was a couple months younger but she had such confidence and everyone loved her, she was like the star, the hero of a story and I could be her sidekick...

Our parents were good friends so we have known each other since forever. We were the admins of our own little friend club that our other friends were members of. In school we all used to play sonic and mario, or families or drag most of the class into a huge game of girls vs boys. We had been in the same classes all the way through primary school. We even had this little imaginary cafe called cafe coco i made up, and we had this plan of opening it together when we were older. I'd renamed Wednesday's as her day because I used to go over every week. 

We were inseparable…. or so I thought…

When we got to high school we were put in different classes…

 "ok, we can make this work, let's just hang at play... I mean break time."

I suggested... and she agreed to meet me at staircase 4 at break and lunch every day. It would be great, she could meet my new friends and I could meet hers. We could all be one big group of friends and play tag or hide and seek or push each other down the hill, maybe even play sonic and mario like we always did…. 

But…. She never came…. I waited… told my friends to go to lunch without me because she'd come… of course she would, she had to... she promised. . . . I waited longer… and longer…. just 5 more minutes… I checked up the stairs just in case she thought I'd ment up them instead of at the bottom… nope not on any of the four levels… well she'll be here any minute...

 "Ok so maybe she forgot today, easily done right, I'll just ask her about it later when our parents meet up...…" I told myself.

So I did, I talked to her and she said she was sorry for forgetting. 

"Ok yeah that's fine we can try again tomorrow don't worry about it." 

. . . 

Again the next day… nothing… she didn't come again but I waited, alone at the bottom of staircase 4…. I didn't have a phone yet so It's not like I could just shoot her a message so I waited of course. I didn't want to let her down… 

Then the next day… and the next, weeks went by and every time I asked she said sorry and we would re-arranged to meet again… but she never came…

 I stopped waiting for so long, each time a couple minutes less until I finally gave up… So I just went and hung out at the library with my other (and not so new anymore) friends...

Then the next time we saw each other… Well I did the stupidest thing and I'd felt bad so I apologised for not going to wait and she told me she noticed because she had gone and waited for me… so yet again we arranged to meet there…

It really shouldn't have surprised me yet it really did when she hadn't shown up again…

 Soon enough after waiting most of my first year of high school for her… I gave up. Obviously her new friendships with the popular group were way more Important than hanging out with an uncool, childish, geeky, embarrassing childhood friend… she then after a while longer stopped talking with me and well… the last smidgen of our friendship had officially dissolved and died in my heart….

I still really care and worry about her… but we haven't talked in years…

Since then I've built my confidence up quite a bit and I have really good friends now but I'm still kinda insecure about being forgotten, left behind or replaced. . . If I don't hear from someone in a while I worry… I'm just kinda nervous about keeping friendships… . 

So there is a little story from my past… hope it didn't bore you… and that you've learned a little about me, like how I'm naive and overly trusting. ^^; 

[multi-fandom-nutjob]

How I’d tweak every Smash Character(Part I)

Hello, everyone! Cinnamon-Guardian here! I love Smash Bros to death, but not everything is perfect. I’ve been mulling over some ideas on how to tweak some characters to be better(or at least more accurate to their series of origin).

This won’t be super concerned with balancing, but tier list standings and how broken or whack certain moves are will be taken into consideration. This disclaimer is just me saying I am in no way claiming that I could do better than Sakurai or any of the other developers! This is purely to have fun and flex my creative muscles to try and get better at this sorta thing.

Mario

With Mario, I’m pretty happy with most of his tech, from his standard moves to his smash attacks and his neutral and recovery specials. The aspects of him that frustrate me the most are his down and side specials, both of whom I ultimately think could be better.

The Down Special works well in theory, pushing opponents back without any sort of hit-stun so that it won’t reset their recoveries any. The flaw I see is that it has no use beyond that. As such, I propose that Flud’s bursts do chip damage, akin to Fox’s blaster. That way, it can do very minor damage and still push opponents back without resetting their recoveries.

The Side Special, in contrast, works decently enough in practice but feels hallow in homage. The Cape Feather that it draws upon appeared only once in Super Mario World, a game that admittedly did exceedingly well, but also came out in 1990. When implemented, it works as a great reflector, but nothing more. As such, I propose it be replaced with the Luma Spin from the Super Mario Galaxy titles! The creators clearly know that there is a sizeable fandom for the dualogy, seeing as how Rosalina joined the roster. The Luma Spin could serve as a valuable reflector itself, but could also act as a secondary, more instantaneous smash attack that could even have some horizontal recovery to it akin to DK’s recovery. It could do all that the Cape Feather did and more with a more contemporary fandom!

Donkey Kong

Off the bat, I think something Donkey Kong needs more of is Speed. While he is the poster child for the slow and heavy characters at the bottom of the tier list, in the games where he is playable, he possesses ample agility.

The main means through which I would propose adding more speed is through a more refined dash attack. In the games, he could steamroll through enemies at ludicrous speeds. While I don’t think it needs to be as fast as Sonic or Captain Falcon, his dash attack could be a powerful roll attack that could boost him forward more.

Adding more onto his agility, I believe that his jumps should have much more of a vertical gain and have ample momentum to it. That way, when combined with his horizontally focused recovery, DK could regain his footing much better than most heavy characters. His special moves don’t need much, if any major alteration.

Link

I think Ultimate gave us the best Link we’ve seen to date, made incredibly distinct from the other two and given more weight than before. My thoughts ultimately fall on his grab and recovery.

In order to keep in line with Breath of the Wild, Link lost the hook-shot grab that he’s had since Smash debuted, severally nerfing his grappling prowess. To replace it, I would have altered it to be the Magnesium Powers you get early on. That way, Link can still have a long-range grab, but it could be slower and easier to break out of so that it’s not broken.

As for recovery, Link is still the same old Link, spinning ‘till he pukes. One thing that stood out in BotW, however, was the glider. If brought into Smash, it could effectively be the same as Peach and Daisy’s, with a sharp upward draft followed by a slow horizontally focused descent.

Samus

Samus has always been sort of the Black Sheep of the Original Roster, characterized by idling shooting inefficient projectiles from a corner. A far-cry from the ass-kicking bounty hunter we all know she is! In Ultimate, most of her competitive gameplay is centered around her charging dash attack and her grab, as if she were a football player.

How do we change that? By letting her move more, of course! As such, her neutral special will get a massive revamp, as it defaults to a pea-shooter mode that allows her to move about as she’s shooting, only having to stop for her side special, which itself will be upgraded to the ice rockets because if she can’t move, you can’t move either! The Charge Shot will only come out after you shoot and hold down the Special Move Button, making it practically the only chargeable move that you can freely move and charge simultaneously! The damage for the pea-shooter and charge shot will stay about the same, as anymore would break the game. Every other special move and her grab are all good, but since she’s so mobile, her charge attack will be replaced with a charge more akin to the energy charge she had in Super Metroid

Dark Samus

Okay, so, I don’t HATE hate echo fighters, but I do hate echo fighters who stick too close to the original’s gameplay. Dark Samus is pretty much on par with Daisy in that regard.

Off the bat, I think a slower but more powerful approach would suit her character better. It would also add to the tone of her gameplay more in my opinion.

The only big change I’d make to Specials are the Recovery and Down Special. The Screw Attack is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it only really makes sense for Samus herself. As lame as it might sound, a massive boost in whatever direction she chooses, akin to Lucario, would fit Dark Samus better.

As for her Down Special, though, I have a more interesting idea. Dark Samus is made of Phazon, a sort of super energy. If she replaced the bombs with charging it up, it could heavily empower her Neutral Special(again like Lucario but more naturally than taking damage).

Yoshi

I kinda love him as he is. No real changes to be made honestly.

Kirby

Kirby is a character that frustrates me. His games have so much creativity with the premise of absorbing powers, but he only uses the Neutral Special of whoever absorbs him. But I do have an idea on how to change that!

Not only will he gain the Neutral Special of whoever he absorbs, but he will also gain “aspects” of that character. For example, if he absorbs Ganon, he becomes heavier and his moves have dark aura effects. If he absorbs Sonic, he and all of his moves becomes faster. If he absorbs Charizard, all of his moves have dire effects and his Side-Special gets a massive upgrade at the cost of damaging himself.

Fox

Okay, so, the thing that made Fox both legendary and infamous was how fundamentally broken he was as a character in Melee. Watching a pro-player use him was like watching a Shonen fight. At the risk of obliterating the tier list again, my goal now is to recapture that without breaking him too badly.

What Fox needs more of is consistent momentum. The main way to tweak this by reshaping the Side Special into something with more raw power but more need for precision. Being a dash attack of sorts, the main goal now is to make it both faster and more chargeable. When Fox crouches, it will charge until released, and it will go in the direction of the analogue stick akin to the recovery. This can be quicker than it is now if you release it quickly, however, though it will do marginally less damage. If running, it will default to the no-charge version for an instant strike for little damage.

This revision, however, would make the recovery seem obsolete in comparison, which is why the Recovery will default do more damage than even the max-charged side and go much further, almost being a smash attack in comparison. As such, we have a very fast and powerful Fox that can move in every direction.

How will it be balanced, then? Well, the Reflector will still be stationary, and most of his attacks will have reduced damage to ensure he doesn’t end every round before it starts.

Pikachu and Luigi

I don’t really have anything for either of these, besides the fact that I wish they have the same Final Smashes as Brawl.

Ness

Can I confess something? I hate Ness and Lucas. So much. I hate playing as either of them and I especially hate fighting either of them.

And you know what else? None of their special moves are canon! That’s right! All of the PK moves they use are from different characters! So my move would be to replace them with a far more accurate and less spam-ridden moveset. That is all. Fuck PK Fire.

Captain Falcon

Okay so, this is a Football Player that makes sense *cough, Samus, cough*. My main concern is that his side and down specials are too similar((much like another speedster)). While I don��t think taking the speed from the second fastest character in the game is at all fair, I think a set-up move for the Falcon Punch could work wonders.

As such, I think his Down Special should be replaced with a flaming kick spin tornado of sorts! That way he can juggle the opponent for some minor damage and set them up for a Falcon Punch that comes out too fast for them to dodge. Make for the best combo in the game honestly.

Jigglypuff

What is there to be done for a joke character? Well, Jigglypuff isn’t a joke character anymore! So a lot, actually!

Firstly, her neutral special should replace her side special. That side was a waste of a slap anyways. For her new neutral, however, it should be a Fairy Type move of some sort. My main choices as of now are “Dazzling Gleam” or “Play Rough.”

Dazzling Gleam is self-explanatory, essentially being a burst of energy in all directions, which is surprisingly rare in Smash(kind of like a weaker but further reaching version of her Down Special). Play Rough could tackle an opponent into a cloud of dirt as they cartoonishly fight until the opponent jumps out, doing combo damage overtime.

That’s all for tonight! I plan on doing more of these down the line, but I don’t have any sort of schedule for that and make no promises.

[doshmanziari]

2019 Mega Drive Explorations [4]

A continuation of parts 1, 2, and 3. Click the link below to read the full post.

The NewZealand Story (1990)

This almost instantly became one of my favorite games for the Mega Drive. It was first an arcade release (1988), and got a ton of ports with, I assume, differences between each; Wikipedia notes that the version I played “had its levels based on the prototype version of the arcade game.” What that means, qualitatively, I’m not yet sure. This is some of the weirdest level design I’ve encountered in a platformer that’s not, like, a reactionary deconstructive work (in the way that the Japanese version of Super Mario Bros. 2 is). The only other somewhat contemporary title I can compare it to is Milon’s Secret Castle (1986). Each of The NewZealand Story’s stages is a sort of maze that’s completed when you reach a fellow kiwi and release them from a cage. What really lets the layouts grow as they do is that, once you get to the second zone (of four), you need to start making use of the various flotation devices which preexist here and there or are left behind by enemies you defeat. So the level design gets to, in a kind of freeform way, flip between “normally” accessible paths and platforms, and toothy stretches demanding aerial navigation. The flotation devices are distinct from one another, too, from how you adhere to it to the speed. What was especially fun about this to me is how, following a clear-out of enemies, you might have a selection of these devices to choose from, and there aren’t really comparative downsides between them (the closest you get to that are these things that look like, uh, torpedoes, which are slow, but they’re also the one device that can’t be popped by shooting at it or touching spikes).

Even if The NewZealand Story isn’t genre-/series-deconstructive, that doesn’t mean it can’t have whimsical moments. A standout for me is illustrated in the third screenshot, where a “room” you have to get to is surrounded by a barrier, and seemingly inaccessible, until you remember that if you are standing below platforms and walkways of a certain thinness and appearance you can jump through them. The solution is to get yourself up against that vertical band and jump through the bit where it briefly horizontally redirects. Cool!! The other thing I like a lot about the level design is that it’s not strictly economical, that some of the structural arrangements seem to exist to form visual patterns more than to control your route. So you have minor casual options for where and how to move through a space. Mercifully, amazingly, bosses are few -- only three -- and they have brevity: you can get rid of the final boss (see the screenshot above) within seconds by popping his balloon. I like looking at this game, too. A couple of stages reminded me of Falcom’s Xanadu and Faxanadu in their cute, flattish, compact representation of architecture or architectural elements within a screen’s worth of space and fortressed tiling. Once you’re past the first zone, loosely themed as a zoo, it’s impossible to tell if the zones’ apertures and voids admit further views or are all mosaics and/or props. It was an unexpected and engaging ambiguity: either interpretation has strange implications. Besides a couple of jumps over and under spikes which demand an inapt exactitude, this is pretty much a perfect game for me, and I wish it had gotten a handheld rerelease on the Nintendo GBA or DS.

Arcus Odyssey (1991)

As a Wolf Team-developed game, Arcus Odyssey sits snugly beside Earnest Evans and El Viento as a whirlwind of inexplicable plot points (rendered more inexplicable, and amusing, by an amateurish localization), lopsided pacing, and just a ton of baffling game design that doesn’t really care about you. Everything is exploding and the gravitas has no narrative grounding. It is at its best hilariously joyful and at its worst insensitively prohibitive. Environments, from a network of walkways suspended thousands of feet above the earth, to a colonnaded stepped complex that recalls John Martin’s infernal painting, Pandemonium, are set at an oblique angle and are swimming with sorcerers, skeletons, cockroaches, and other creatures who unendingly come at you from out of nowhere and half of the time spit projectiles. The palettes and narrow, minuscule tilesets give everything the veneer of a PC-98 title. Regardless of the character you choose (for me, it was the pink-haired Erin who wields a whip), the best strategy is to never stop mashing the attack button. This got iffy in one stage where a numerous type of flying creature left behind a crawling string of flames on the ground upon death. The best strategy for bosses? Use an invincibility-granting item you’ve hopefully snagged from a treasure chest, stand right next to the boss, and... yeah, mash that attack button. Which is fine! This is not a game where the mechanics could’ve yielded bosses who were interesting for reasons other than their appearance.

Arcus Odyssey has two serious, debilitating issues, though. The first is that you only have room in an inventory menu for six items (five, really; one of these items is permanent), and yet I have quite literally never seen another videogame with so many treasure chests relative to its stages’ sizes. You’ll mostly be passing stuff up then because you’re at capacity. Sure, you can consume the things you have to make room, but there are at least three items which have contextually valuable uses: the potion of invincibility, the lifebar-refilling lamp of life, and the resurrecting doll of life. Stocking up on one kind to the exclusion of everything else isn’t a sustainable plan. So the “economy,” as it were, is kinda fucked. The second debilitating, perhaps eventually paralyzing, issue is that Arcus Odyssey has the design of an early Japanese PC action-RPG like Ys or Rune Worth, where you are constantly harangued by waves of enemies who non-specifically occupy the level designs and bosses who may instantly unload multiple projectile-based attacks. That sort of design, somewhat haphazard as it was, could function (with degrees of success) in the context of the RPG part of the “action-RPG” equation, since you could reliably and incrementally level up (and save!). Arcus Odyssey doles out a few upgrades here and there, but it plays out like an action game that doesn’t understand the forms it’s borrowing. As such, it’s easy -- and become easier, the further along you are -- to get yourself into situations whose demands for superhuman, verging on omniscient, performance make no sense. Real shame.

Marvel Land (1991)

Like The NewZealand Story, Marvel Land is a Mega Drive port of an arcade game released a couple of years earlier. Also like the former, it quickly became a personal console-favorite. A few prickles keep me from fully loving it -- namely, the bizarre precision you need to have when jumping on enemies to not get hit yourself (and a hit here, as per usual with arcade games before the 90s, equals death), a few too many leaps of faith, and optional doorways which can send you back to previous levels, as far as the very first -- but the diversity of creatures, stages’ arrangements and themes, power-ups, and unconventional bosses have an individual and cumulative appeal that outweighs those problematics. I think I’m obligated here to say that I will almost automatically like any videogame that has a candy-themed environment, and Marvel Land has one of those, complete with waddling ice cream cones, gingerbread houses, and a maze built of cracker-cookies. The two main and most interesting power-ups are wings which temporarily give you a much higher jump and the ability to fly, and a string of self-duplicates which can be whipped around to hit enemies, collect items for score, and latch onto targets to swing from them. A later level surprised me when it both expected me to use the wings to progress and to be mindful about the height of my jumps so as to not skewer myself on spikes., denying the expectation that such a liberty would dissolve hard designs.

Bosses deserve a special mention because, god, by now I just hate bosses, they ruin so many of these games, and Marvel Land’s are designed as “minigames” -- a game of rock-paper-scissors, selecting an illustration in a grid that matches an example below, or Whac-a-mole (against a mole). It’s decent, clever, and properly playful. Despite this, the game is still compelled to have a “real” boss fight at the very end (were the developers anxious?), and I could’ve done without that; but, it was straightforward enough. The aforementioned bestiary, if you want to call it that, is wonderful and funny and can hold its own against any of the Kirby games’ rosters. You can see, for example, in the last screenshot that a feisty mallard duck who beckons at you with an index feather-finger is named COMEON. Other members include HEAVY, a chubby pink snake, and GIANTBURGER, a sentient burger. As a closing comment, I’ll say that it’s striking and odd how many videogames, from Japan, no less, were about restoring the rule of a Eurocentric fairytale monarchy. Hell, that’s what two of Nintendo’s most popular extant series are about (Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda). Why is this an international go-to for a premise? And how could anyone care about it? In some cases I think it’s fair to guess that the creator(s) did not care and simply went with a cultural trope that was within grabbing range; but the question remains of why those tropes are within grabbing range. We already know why these narratives are also fiercely heteronormative (even The NewZealand Story has to make the last kiwi you rescue be a girl -- wow, thank god!), but this prevalent medievalism that has an uncritical nostalgia for monarchy kinda mystifies me.

[junkyardlynx]

Pt. 12

The pale sun bled through rusted holes in the sheet metal, luminous shafts of light falling into the somewhat dilapidated building. I awoke slowly, my body sore and drained. It took me a minute to register the softness and warmth pressed firmly against my cheek and nose. 

I was hunched over the table where I’d performed my impromptu auto-surgery, back bent and crooked at an awkward angle, but my head was lightly held against Sarisa’s stomach. Her diaphragm rose and fell in smooth, gentle motions, tempting me back to sleep. I succumbed, nuzzling my nose against the thin fabric of her t-shirt. They really needed to make women’s clothes thicker and more hardy. I’m sure she got ripped off for this. 

As I closed my eyes, ready to sleep just a little more, my thoughts drifted back to myself and the current situation. Seems like wakefulness would keep it’s hold on me for now. My own magic was heavily depleted and my body was sluggish in healing it’s wounds. Well, wound. The really big one I made myself. Though it was at a pace quicker than the average man’s, it was still too slow for my liking. I estimated that without a font of power, a leyline, or a collection of materials to consume, it’d take me roughly three days to be back in top shape. 

I hated this weakness that permeated my cold limbs. I was reasonably sure that if she wasn’t holding my head, I’d be shivering uncontrollably. Every cell in my body screamed for rest and rejuvenation, but it wasn’t really an option. Someone had engineered this path for us, and even if they didn’t expect us to survive, they’d probably have a contingency plan in place. Like some sort of assassin sent to eliminate us or something. 

Somehow, it was hard to care. 

Part of me wanted to give up.

I’d lost my comfortable every day life AND the exciting sorcerer’s path before me in a single day. My existence was the catalyst for some dark awakening of an incalculable threat. I couldn’t even keep Sarisa safe. All I had after that was this anger in my heart, this smoldering fury that replaced my heartbeat. I remembered how I reveled in the kill, when I bit and tore like an animal.

This time, I really did shudder. I felt Sarisa move a little underneath me, clinging to my head in her sleep like a favorite pillow. I didn’t move away.  

I didn’t wanna be like that. I didn’t want to be a killer. I was cavalier about violence when it came to those that instigated it, but there was a line I never crossed. Even in my most cruel and cold moments, I never flat-out enjoyed it. Yesterday wasn’t the first time I killed. It wasn’t something new to me. To live with magic was to live with death and destruction. It was to know the cause of things like “unexplained disappearances” and “freak accidents”. You learned to shut out the guilt and the torment and the unending grief at taking the life of another living being in self-defense.

You learned to defend yourself or you died. 

I learned.

I was thirteen when I took my first life. 

My dad and I were on a “trip” over summer break, training up in the mountains. The Ural Mountains, to be precise. The whole trip had been a spur of the moment idea, brought to life when I came into my father’s sanctum to ask where we were going for my next stage of training. My father had been reading a book titled  Гибель тургруппы Дятлова, which I would learn read something along the lines of “Death of the Dyatlov Tourists.” Apparently, the incident took place sometime in 1959 and involved a group of hikers dying mysterious deaths on the Мёртвая вершина, which apparently meant “Dead Mountain.” I couldn’t read Cyrillic and didn’t speak Russian, but I spent the flight on my father’s tablet, looking up everything I could about the incident. It said that the mountain was named because of the lack of hunting game, but to me, it always seemed like an oddly morbid choice. Surely there were other features to name a mountain after.

We had set up camp in the same area as the Dyatlov group had, though we had a far easier time because, well. None of their group members could levitate or conjure fireballs. Or they chose not to for the challenge, I don’t know. I was thirteen. Anyway. My father established a cozy base camp (complete with an extremely large and fantastically orange outpost tent) and set up a small sanctum, indicating that this was where we’d be spending my entire summer break. I was overtly excited, having read the embellished accounts of what happened in this area in detail. I guess I thought I’d be the one to figure out what had really happened and blast whatever it was back to hell. Sarisa tried the same thing with me when I got home because it turned out she missed me and spent the summer trying to get Thomas to go looking for me. Almost succeeded, if not for the fact that they were turned away at the ticket gate because her mother found out about the purchase on her card. Anyway. 

I was enjoying my first mug of coffee before it happened. My actual first mug of coffee. We’d just finished elemental channeling and dad decided I deserved a little gift for my progress. Honestly, it sucked, but I loved my dad and all his weird habits, so I drank it. I snuck a little more sugar and creamer in every time he’d take a break from his research on the area to get up to check something outside, though. 

I found out what he was checking for when a blast of lightning tore a hole through our tent’s door and opened the top up to the sky. It was followed by a series of loud shouts in Russian. Emirus clicked his tongue and looked at me over his mug that said “#1 Wizard Daddy”. 

“A warning shot is it? Ah, my boy, this is a lesson for you! Never discharge deadly magic as a mere threat. If you shoot something that can kill, you aim to kill!”

In retrospect my father’s words probably should have chilled me, but in that moment, they excited me. My dad was a giddy kid and that infected me. I was thirteen and pretty sure I was invincible. 

Dad put on what he’d affectionately call his “war face” and took the dramatic entrance, levitating himself out of the hole in the tent not with pure magic power, but with static discharge. Lances of thunder crackled off his body and he regarded our guests with sheer contempt. Pointing a finger at a wire of a man in full snow gear, probably in his late thirties to early forties, my father spoke.

Dad looked a lot like Dracula from those Castlevania games, now that I think about it. I’d stepped outside with my hot mug in my hands, sipping it and watching the proceedings. I felt strangely detached from it all, like I knew nothing was going to happen. 

“I’m trying to teach my son about an important piece of recent history! What business does the Russian government have with us? We were enjoying a sensible moment of father-son bonding.”

I still can’t believe to this day that he regarded a commando unit of Russian sorcerers like he was the one being inconvenienced. I mean, I can, but who does that? My dad, I guess.

“Emirus Culaine, you and yours have trespassed upon land under the governance of the Russian konfederatsiya koldunov. All outside investigation and exploration of the Dyatlov Pass must be processed by said confederacy of sorcerers.”

“Oh, you didn’t get the request? I put it in months ago. I had this planned for a while, you see.” 

My father, still dramatically crackling like a god of thunder in the air, scratched his chin. Holy shit dad, I can tell you’re lying. They probably can too.

“We have no records of this. I will have to ask you to vacate the premises immediately and turn over any research materials you may have produced in this time.”

As the commander spoke, I regarded the soldiers that had begun to take up firing positions around the camp. A sixth sense - honed by training with my father in perilous conditions - was screaming for me to take cover. I could almost feel the killing intent washing off of them as they raised their weapons. Some drew rifles, some drew magical foci, the others drew melee weapons. Instead, I spoke. Maybe I could get them to leave if I used my childlike innocence or whatever?

“Hey dad, didn’t you leave that one grimoire back at the hotel in Ivdel? It read like...koldunov gibel dyatlov...a?” I hastily conjured up a lie, using the very few Russian words I’d heard recently in an attempt to make up a book title. I’m pretty sure what I said was approaching nonsense, but the commander snapped his attention to me like I was the true target all along. I think he just realized I was there, actually.

Oh man, I messed up, huh?

“Kill the sorcerer, apprehend the child. He will suffice.”

Everything was kind of a blur after those words. Kill? Like, my dad? You guys are dumb. Knowing I could still end up an accidental victim caused me to dive back into the tent, conjuring up a shell of ice to hide under. It seemed like ice magic always came way more easily to me than any other. Dad said I got it from my mom. 

Bolts of lightning discharged from my father’s floating form, striking down a full third of the assailants before they could react. Bullets whizzed through the air but the static energy radiating off Emirus seemed to deflect all of them. Spells were turned away just as easily, causing the four basic elements to crash into the snowdrifts and mountain crags. I briefly wondered about avalanches before shaking my head, hiding under my ice shell for cover.

I thought it was safe once all the sound had stopped. Fires burned, crackling on the shattered bodies of the soldiers, all reduced to piles of scorched meat by my father’s power. I’d seen bodies before in our necromantic studies, but... the smell reminded me of bacon, and my stomach turned over. I emptied my first cup of coffee into the snow, breakfast soon following. Everything seemed less and less real. 

A lot of kids think their dad is the coolest or strongest or the best at Mario Kart or whatever, but in my case, my dad really was the strongest. He proved it. He staked his claim on his existence by destroying anything that threatened it with unrelenting power. The beautiful and hazy idea of my father as “the strongest” was suddenly a concrete and scary fact. 

He was the strongest because the breadth and scope of his existence wouldn’t allow anything that opposed him to exist.

I wobbled a bit, bent over in the snow, drool and spittle leaking from my lips. I heard something crunching in the snow and assumed it was dad. My body slackened in relief.

“I’m okay, dad. Sorry, I ju-”

A horrific wail pierced the lightly falling snow of the afternoon as the thing crunching the wet snow behind me flung itself on top of me. A caricature of a man, wiry and thin with most of his features melted or scorched off, grappled for my throat, shattered and broken teeth gnashing fruitlessly. I shrieked as a bloody froth fell on my face and his blistered fingers tightened around my throat. I clawed at his hands desperately, even has he whispered hoarsely.

“Dyatlov...it’s mine it’s mine it’s mine it’s mine...it must...remain fed..ah, it’s mine, it’s mine it’s mine....it’s mine...”

As my vision darkened, a voice seemed to whisper to me in my own head. Soft and comforting, musical, simultaneously chilling and warm, majestic. Feminine and masculine. It reminded me of my mother’s voice, but I knew it wasn’t. It seemed to dance around the blackness in my eyes, like it had a form I simply couldn’t see.

Snow child, why do you not brush this nuisance off?

Because I can’t, I replied.

Snow child, why do you lie in the face of death?

Because I’m afraid, I replied.

Snow child, why are you afraid?

Because...I don’t want to kill somebody, I replied.

Snow child, is your existence worth this little?

I just don’t want to kill people, I cried.

Snow child, is your father’s retaliation wrong?

I just don’t want anyone else to die, I cried.

Snow child, this man is killing you.

Am I supposed to kill him, then? I cried.

Snow child, you live in the embrace of death. Embrace it in turn.

Will I be forgiven? I begged.

There is nothing to forgive, son of snow.

I’m not sure how long the conversation in my head lasted, but it couldn’t have been more than a second. It was like all the power in my veins turned to ice and rippled outwards. The hands around my neck went slack, and when my vision returned, I had jammed a thin blade of ice through the commander’s melted and gashed forehead.

We returned early. My father said that he’d found out all he needed to know about Dyatlov Pass and that we’d return one day to set things right. At first, I thought he meant with the Russian magical authorities, but I realized he meant with the Pass itself. After all, the commander had spoken of something that needed to be fed, and my father had acted in self defense.

When I returned home, my mother found me right away. Her embrace was warm, her skin as cool as it ever was. Her red eyes dripping tears and her short black hair even more disheveled than usual, she pulled me close.. She must have really missed me, I thought. Sorry, mom. I did something wrong, but I feel like it’ll be okay somehow. I won’t be weak again.

Now that I think back on it, I think she knew something inside of me had changed. Something had awoken that she’d hoped would sleep a little longer, if not forever.

I modeled myself after my father. I defended myself voraciously, actively, coldly. I closed my heart off to the pain that resonated inside of it when I took a life to preserve my own. I drowned the guilt in laughter and the comfort of friends. I turned a blind eye to the injustice wrought by forgetting the dead.

That seemed to be coming to an end, though. Seems like I’d realized that somewhere along the way, I’d started to enjoy those attempts on my life. I’d enjoyed proving my existence the superior one and it broke my own heart. I wonder if my dad wrestled with this? Probably. He was old - all great sorcerers were capable of stopping their own aging and reversing senescence, so I thought nothing of my parents and their ages. They’d probably both grappled with this issue. 

I wonder if they felt as I did, though. I wonder if they would forgive me.

It was only when I woke that I realized I had been been asleep at all, much less dreaming of my childhood. Sarisa’s fingers were in my hair again, and she looked at me with a distressed smile.

“You okay? You’re crying.”

“Yeah, I was just dreaming of playing Knights of the Old Republic 3 and realized it’s never happening.”

“Idiot.” 

She tugged my hair and I winced, both at the slight jolt of pain and the realization that I was still absolutely disgusting. I wanted to ask her to get her fingers out of my hair, but the comfort her actions brought kept me pitifully silent.

We dozed together in the late morning sun for a few moments, talking about nothing in particular. When I went to raise my head off her stomach, she gently but firmly guided it back down. Told me it comforted her as much as it comforted me. I decided to talk about what happened last night and where to go from here.

I was in the middle of recounting what happened with Amduisas as a change in the air alerted me to danger. That sixth sense I’d developed prodigiously over the years screamed at me that someone unknown was close. Something wavering on the thin edge of hostility.

“Sarisa-”

“Yeah, we have a visitor.”

[croatian-nt]

Mario’s snippet

I recommend reading through my high school AU masterlist(in the notes since tumblr fucked uf links) first for this to make sense 

Word Count: 2293

Warnings: again, some violence, fighting(do @domo-no-domo-yes and I have a thing for injuring main characters and them having anger issues? Perhaps. 

Notes: So this is Mario’s introduction post. Some things you should know about him:

he’s the star striker of the local football club

has an unexpected interest in fashion

Is 18 and in fourth year

Seems very intimidating to most people a lot admire him but keep him at arm’s length

his best friends are Dejan, Mo and Leona(important to note mo and Leona are gender swapped football players. You’ll learn more about them later ;) )

Also big shoutout for @wordpuddle as always for editing our works 

That’s about it. Enjoy :)

For Mario, it was bad enough that he had to be stuck in detention instead of going out or playing football. This wasn’t his first time, and he knew that he technically broke school rules, but the fact that he got detention and Santini got away scot-free for doing something at least equally bad just pissed him off. However, hearing the news that another student was going to join him in detention only made his mood worse.  

He knew that he was supposed to be thankful. Less work and an extra pair of hands did sound like more than a good deal. However, he did not exactly like the idea of someone bothering him as he worked. Also, even if he was supposed to have someone who was going to be serving detention alongside him, they seemed to be running late, and Mario didn't plan on getting in more trouble because he waited for that idiot.

Mumbling “no good” under his breath, he wiped some sweat off his brow, soaked his rag and squeezed out the excess water. Just as he was about to start cleaning the first table, the canteen doors swung open with a loud bang.

Mario quickly turned around, nearly jumping as he was startled by the sudden loud noise. His eyes fell on a certain smirking, blond punk, who looked him up and down as if they never met each other before… even though both of them knew otherwise.

“Not you again.” Mario groaned, fighting the urge to rub his forehead. His detention companion was none other than Domagoj Vida - inarguably the most notorious troublemaker in the entire school, and all too proud of that fact.

Vida's shit-eating smirk only grew at that as he approached Mario with intent, like a panther stalking its prey. Still, Mario refused to budge. Instead, he put down his rag and returned the smirk with a grim, hard expression of his own. He wasn't about to be intimidated that easily by a guy who wore black eyeliner and had a stupid lip piercing.

“Aww...did you miss me, Mr. No Good?” Vida's eyes playfully flashed. Mario rolled his eyes and curled his lip with disapproval. If the idiot thought he could get under his skin quickly, he was in for a rude awakening.

“No, I didn't miss someone who almost ran me over with his bike because he doesn’t know how to fucking drive.” Mario gritted his teeth together, stopping the rest of the insult from pouring out. If he went on, he wouldn’t be able to stop, and he knew that things would inevitably end up as more than a fight with just words. He also knew that while Vida was shorter than he was, he wasn’t a pushover.

He turned around to face the table again, huffing. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be spending detention with Vida for the next month. From the way the punk was dressed, it seemed as if he didn’t even care that he was supposed to be at detention and was going to be cleaning for a couple of hours. In contrast to Mario’s own simple navy tank top and faded jeans, Vida wore his usual all-black - ripped skinny jeans, combat boots, fingerless gloves, at least two necklaces, and a black leather jacket with spikes adorning its collar and shoulders.

“Just leave your stuff and start cleaning...and for fuck’s sake, wear something more practical next time. This is detention, we’re supposed to be working, not fooling around. This is not the time for your stupid pranks unless you want even more detention time.”

He could hear Vida laugh, and he looked back. The blond had taken off his jacket, his tattooed arms in full view now that he was just in his black shirt, and was now pulling his long hair back into a high ponytail. He then gathered the rest of the things he had taken off and set them aside. Mario tried to fight the urge to roll his eyes or say something sarcastic as he tore his eyes away and tried to focus on the task at hand.

“What did you do to end up here? You don't seem like the sort to enjoy having a bit of fun anyway.” Mario didn't have to turn around to know that the fucker probably still had that stupid smirk plastered on his face as he tried to get a rise out of him.

“Who the hell said that it was a stupid prank that landed me here? It’s none of your business.” Mario’s patience was wearing thin, though he didn’t exactly have much of it, to begin with. Vida’s remark, however, made him recall the events of two days ago that led to him getting himself into trouble.

========

“Santini, enough!” Mario roared as Ivan Santini’s fist connected with the jaw of Alen, one of the new recruits. A sickening crack followed, and Mario swiftly grabbed his fellow striker’s wrist, gripping it tightly.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! What does this stupid hazing achieve? What we need are uninjured players to win our games! Are you trying to fucking sabotage us?!” His eyes blazed with anger and hearing Alen whimper in pain, as well as seeing all the other new team members’ bruises only made him more furious. Santini, however, only returned Mario’s glare with a cool expression of his own.

“How many times have I told you that these harmless little exercises are meant to build character? Football is a man’s sport, Mandžukić, and wimpy little boys don’t belong on this team. Do you understand?” Santini’s smile was cold and cruel as he carelessly regarded the players in the locker room. “Or are you too soft?”

Santini laughed, but Mario cut it short by throwing a hard punch at his face, followed by another. Santini’s rough hands grabbed Mario by the neck, but Mario ducked, before elbowing Santini in the gut. He stumbled back, and Mario kicked him down. Before Mario could make another move, however, another voice cut them off.

“MANDŽUKIĆ! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!” Mario, realizing that they were in the school’s locker room rather than the club locker room, looked towards the doorway and saw Coach Lopetegui. The man’s expression was stormy and his arms were folded. Two bad signs. Rather than defend himself, Mario remained silent, his face hard. Frankly, Santini deserved it.

“To the headmaster’s office, Mandžukić! This is not proper behaviour befitting a star striker!” Coach Lopetegui ordered, clearly meaning business.

========

Mario noticed Vida glancing pointedly at his bandaged knuckles, and it almost looked like something akin to understanding flashed through his eyes. It was a brief moment, however, as Vida’s usual smirk crept back on his face a few seconds later.  

“No stupid prank huh? I knew you weren't the fun type. Shame. Doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like you though.” Vida remarked, flashing a brief, impish grin before proceeding to grab one of the rags hanging above the sink.

“Just because you probably got detention for a stupid prank yourself, doesn’t mean I did. Let me guess, were you the one responsible for the beers?” Mario had heard about Mr. Čačić’s outburst after finding beer cans glued to the walls of his office. It was difficult not to, actually, considering that Mario was in the chemistry laboratory, which was right next to Mr. Čačić’s office when the old man discovered that somebody had vandalised his space. The math teacher was known for his short temper after all.

“Hmm...what makes you think that, Mr. No Good?” Vida chuckled as he held his rag under the running tap until it was soaked, then proceeded to choose a table to begin working on.

Mario expected Vida to keep talking and that he will have to try and mute him out during the whole detention but to his surprise, Vida pulled out headphones, quickly selected a song from his playlist and continued cleaning. Mario heard the faint yet distinctive beat of aggressive, hard rock music.  

He wondered exactly how high had Vida set the volume. Even without wearing headphones, Mario could already hear the loud, heavy music. He also wondered exactly how loud it was for someone listening through headphones. He also wondered if Vida could even hear his own thoughts with such loud music. Assuming that of course, Vida was capable of thinking for extended periods of time, which he highly doubted.

As the time ticked, Mario couldn’t help but harbour suspicion towards the blond punk, and he regularly looked over his shoulder to see what Vida was up to. He didn’t want to admit it, but part of him felt as if he was going to spring a trap on him anytime soon. Yet, for some reason, nothing happened. Aside from offering up his headphones a couple of times, and as well as the occasional grin, there was absolutely no indication that Vida was about to do anything that Mario was dreading.

By the end of their detention, Mario found himself seriously considering his impression of Domagoj Vida to be partly wrong. He seemed rather different from his usual, annoying prankster self, at least while serving detention. Of course, part of him was still reluctant to accept this. That part of him was giving him that nagging feeling that, if what he knew and heard about Vida was true, Vida wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

“I guess I should be going now. See you around on Monday, Mr. No Good?” Vida had shrugged his leather jacket back on and was now buckling his choker around his neck. Mario noticed that the blond was smiling warmly, but he could’ve sworn that he noticed a hint of mischief in his smile. It was fleeting, but Mario was certain that he saw something. His suspicions only heightened when Vida swiftly took his leave. Wondering if something had happened when his back was turned, he reached for his bag and unzipped it. He dug around for his wallet, his keys and his phone, and when he found them, he was secretly relieved to see all of them there, and that none of them had been stolen. He still checked the rest of his bag’s contents, however, not fully trusting the punk. Nothing had been touched either.

Grumbling to himself, he slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder, hung his rag near the sink and left the canteen. When he reached the parking lot, the first thing he noticed was that Vida’s motorcycle was still in its usual spot. He furrowed a brow, remembering all too well that Vida had left earlier than him.

Mario then went over to his own car, thinking that perhaps, Vida was probably just squatting and drinking a beer somewhere in the parking lot. What he didn't expect to see was a familiar black-clad blond leaning over his car and attempting to place a cracked-glass prank sticker on his windshield.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He hissed, letting annoyance slip into his voice. This caught Vida by surprise and nearly made him fall into the car, as it didn’t have its roof put on. Mario couldn’t help but be the tiniest bit amused at the sight, as well as a bit proud of himself for catching Vida in the act. He bit back his laughter, however.

Vida caught his balance and momentarily leaned against the red Bentley to steady himself. He then quickly turned around, the sticker still in his hands. There was a look of surprise on his face as if he did not expect Mario to show up that quickly.

“...Decorating?” Vida’s smirk was its usual cocky self, but Mario knew better. He saw a hint of sheepishness in Vida’s expression, one that someone who had been caught in the act would have.

“Nice try. Give me that.“ Mario quickly snatched the sticker from Vida's hands, tucking it into one of the pockets of his bag. He gave Vida a dark, warning look. “Now get lost before I decide to run you over like you almost did to me.”

Vida rolled his eyes but Mario could see his pierced lip twitching in amusement and the corners of his mouth raising. As if his look had not fazed him the least bit. In fact, Vida was looking into his eyes a bit too intently. As if he was intrigued, rather than intimidated. It was something that Mario wasn’t exactly used to. Most people looked at him with equal parts respect and intimidation, but here was someone who didn’t. Someone who wasn’t intimidated by him, for some reason.

“Just wanted to make your life a bit more fun, Mr. No Good. But I guess you’re still too boring...or at least, making a valiant effort to resist my efforts,” Vida laughed as he threw a mock salute in his direction before they parted ways.

Mario shook his head before getting into the car. That guy really was as much trouble as he originally assumed. And yet, why did Mario take his words as a challenge? He knew that he could’ve easily just ignored them and act maturely, yet here he was, thinking about his next move in the strange but oddly exciting game that Vida had unwittingly started. The thought of wiping the smirk off Vida’s face rather appealed to him.

As he drove home, he momentarily looked at the cracked glass sticker he had swiped, and an idea wormed its way into his mind. He was going to have to head to school early on Monday. If Vida dared mess around with him, he wasn’t going to make things easy, or go down without a fight.

The game was on.

Taglist:

@lovren-la-vida-luka

@ohmylovren

@synne-sol

@loodalo

@croatianstan

@living-lovren

@zadarskabagudina

@marice-marice

@pinessa

@igecko1320

@sejan-is-love

@childsmokers

[postpunkpontypandyphantomthief]

9th Comedy Monologue

“Hey comrades”

“How are you now that summer is upon us?”

*listens to the responses*

So a lot has happened, Endgame happened and the BAFTA’s happened and lots of other stuff happened

The BAFTA’s were disappointing and some jokes lasted too long….like the joke I’m telling right now

Endgame though, cue to the part where I skip spoiling the film for people who still haven’t seen it

There was a scene where Ant-man….lost a taco

*melodramatically tries to look sad*

I know, very emotional scene, it looked like a such a good taco luckily Hulk shared his instead

Thor though, boi I have something to say about Thor,

Thor should be nominated for Queer Eye,

That is all

apparently, the guy that did Gangnam Style, PSY was inspired by Queen to start performing

speaking of music stars I learnt that Bowie once got struck in the eye with a lollipop during a Norway gig

“Ouch” but despite that, he continued on extending the gig

Legend,  he also did a radio theatre concert, the year before my birthday and way before that Labyrinth was released, then again goblins are getting quite popular again

I am goblin kin

iconic, so...

Way back in 2011 I made my first youtube channel and I made my own series of youtube stories with my dolls think a cheesy sitcom version of Toy Story about a place called DreamLand which was an "afterlife/home for fictional characters".

It was about the adventures of Pauline Super Mario's first girlfriend before Peach, and how she lives in DreamLand with the girls she adopted, however, I was a beginner when it came to writing and comedy so it was similar in tone to Disney teen sitcoms

the characters were Lexa, Merlin, Avery, Ava, Scarina, Snow Bow, Mako, Emily, Lucky, Felica, Emma and Marshmellow, I had a sad backstory for most of them but most of them also already had established names so only a few were original characters mainly it was just Pauline, Lexa, Merlin, Avery, Scarina and some others, but in the story versions there was Ava, Snow Bow and a couple more

I wanted it to be a big production with lots of sets but I couldn't afford all the "props" I wanted at the time (I was also a bit of a brat who would make Christmas lists that were like 4 pages long so I grew out of it)

I also paraded DreamLand like it was the best thing since sliced bread and it wasn't, the production was not good and I used an iPod to record and the camera was almost always shaky

I also had a multiverse movie thing planned that would involve the Mario characters but that couldn't happen, back then I focused more on the stories, backstories and props rather than the character development, personalities and camera movement

on one hand, it taught me early skills about story writing and short film making but boi a lot of the dialogue was cringy, and the characters weren't made with much personality.

     this was also when my "American sounding voice" had started to show and I was still a young teenager who at times had a very high voice

I felt a bit ashamed of having made the series until I watched one of Charlie Brooker's programmes and after learning that other producers and directors have done similar small scale productions with their toys and action figures as kids that's made me feel less bad about that

It was a multiverse small scale youtube series that referenced Nintendo, Bratz and My Little Pony with characters that mixed between being Original and being reinterpretations of already established characters

And the dialogue for this series, My Goodness it was cringy

I would mispronounce genre as Jenner and….the first episode involved a talking toothbrush, not just any talking toothbrush, a Fred figglehorn toothbrush, the kid who did youtube videos of him screaming in a chipmunk voice, No wonder I’d get into the young ones later in life with its cutaway gags and surreal themes

Or in the scene that references Clockwork Orange the character, Scarina is being held captive by the character Yasmina who says “I went to medical school but I'm not a doctor”  how my 12-year-old self came up with that I’ll never know

My early youtube influences were quite mixed I’d watch film and video game critique channels, makeup gurus and animators

In fact, one of them actually unexpectedly noticed me on twitter a month ago

It was another post I made about asking my viewers about what famous people they think I resemble or look like

And the youtuber said One of those guys from the vintage TV show “The Young Ones”

That made my day

The former youtuber was Mike Mozart, he was a reviewer of vintage and notoriously bad toys, he also was one of the first people to get involved in spreading awareness of the copyright controversies going on at the time, he’s also a part-time graffiti artist, one of my idols

Another youtuber who has recently noticed me was Blaire White

She made a post about the current  beauty guru drama

I'm sorry but all these Beauty Influencers have the easiest job. All y'all had to do was blend some eyeshadow and collect your millions but you choose to cause WW3 instead.   

I responded it's not world war 3 it's world war tea

She simply laughed in her response, the last I recall “world war tea” being said was when people were commenting on an old Tumblr post that advertised a large jug of Tea next to several McNuggets

..in other news Tommy Robinson and other twits have got milkshake spilt on them...

the year is 2019

World War Tea is upon us

makeup gurus causing a dumpster fire

while comrades fight fascists and Nazis with eggshells and milkshakes

keep the milkshakes coming bois

And Burger King thinks they can join in on the fun…

*pauses folding my hands*

They don’t want to wave a red flag they just want your money, and if you think that’s bad over in the us,they’re also making mental health a theme in some of their new meals, the  hashtag feel your way campaign…

Ugh, absolutely soulless

Like what’s going on in America right now...

I’ll say this, the one good thing you can take from Clockwork Orange

is the message about the importance of one's right to choose

Now, my fellow droogs what choice will you make?

[rpgmgames]

July’s Featured Game: SLARPG

DEVELOPER(S): Bobby "ponett" Schroeder ENGINE: RPGMaker VX Ace  GENRE: RPG, Fantasy SUMMARY: SLARPG is a short, turn-based RPG following the story of Melody Amaranth, a kindhearted but meek transgender fox who’s decided to learn healing magic and become a paladin. She’s joined by her adventurous girlfriend Allison, as well as their friends Claire (a sarcastic, rule-bending witch)(she is also trans) and Jodie (a dependable, somewhat motherly knight). Over the course of the story, our inexperienced heroes will meddle with forces beyond their control and find themselves responsible for the fate of their quaint little hometown. They’ll also fight some spherical frogs, travel to a forgotten land in the sky, befriend a robot or two, and anger the local librarian. But that should go without saying. 

Introduce yourself!  Hi! My name's Bobby "ponett" Schroeder. I have a background mainly in visual art and writing, and I've been working in RPG Maker VX Ace since 2013 after being inspired to try making my own game by Splendidland's masterpiece Megaman Sprite Game. I'd always wanted to go into game development, but this was the first time it felt like it was actually feasible for me to make something fun on my own. By the end of that year I released a much rougher freeware version of SLARPG, originally known as Super Lesbian Horse RPG.

I do most of the work myself, but I have several people helping me with some NPC and enemy design work including my boyfriend Anthony Field (@exclamationpointman on Tumblr) and my friends Thomas Landon (@schloogywoog), Gee (@fattoads), and Thom (@sidewalkwitch). My lead composer is the incredibly talented BEATR!X @neutralnewt) with more music contributed by other friends such as internet pop icon blacksquares (@blacksquares).

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Bobby: Super Lesbian Animal RPG is primarily about a timid transgender fox named Melody. At age 22 she's sort of coasting along on autopilot with no clear idea of what she wants to do with her life. One day, she and her girlfriend Allison get roped into a new adventuring guild founded by their friends Claire and Jodie. Melody sees this as an opportunity to impress Allison and to make herself useful by becoming a paladin and learning healing magic.

At its heart, the game is about the relationships between four girls in their early 20s. They're all trying to define themselves as people, they all have their own personal baggage, and they all have their own motives for seeing this dinky little adventurer's guild as a life-changing opportunity. And now, thanks to the trouble they get themselves into, they also have to figure out how to be heroes. It's also a game where you can have an anthropomorphic rabbit with a mohawk kiss her girlfriend and then swing a sword made of zircon at a magic tumbleweed

As I said, the game was originally released in a much rougher form under the title Super Lesbian Horse RPG. It started out as a cute, goofy little game where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic were dating (of course) and went on a bizarre adventure, but it soon turned into a genuine RPG with a more sincere story. It also got much, much more attention than I ever expected. My use of copyrighted characters made the game difficult to distribute, though, and in hindsight I was holding myself back by presenting it as a fangame. So in 2015, I decided to radically overhaul and flesh out the game with a new, expanded cast that I have full creative control over. And now here we are today, with a game that's probably got more new material in it than old, but still hopefully has the same charm if you enjoyed the original.

How long have you been working on your project? *Bobby: Work on the original project lasted the entirety of 2013, with me foolishly releasing the 1.0 version on Christmas 2013 (my 20th birthday—I spent most of the day frantically squashing bugs). I returned to the project in 2015 and have been working on the new version on and off for about two years now.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Bobby: The humor is definitely inspired in part by Mother and Paper Mario, although my talkative protagonists might make it closer to something like a point-and-click adventure game. I've also always loved really casual comedy that skews towards normal conversation in stuff like Home Movies or Homestuck. Adventure Time has undoubtedly been a big influence, too, as one of my favorite shows, with its "anything goes" fantasy world and colorful cast of characters—but also because of its focus on grounded, introspective character moments in a surreal, fantastical setting

Gameplay-wise, early Final Fantasy titles are a big influence for sure, and I'm trying to take a page out of Zelda's book when it comes to exploration and level design. But tabletop RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons are also having an impact on the way I design encounters. I think tabletop games are still the gold standard for RPG battles, because they're often less about stats and repetition and doing what the designer wants you to do and more about improvising a fun story. Of course, an RPG Maker game can't compete with having an actual DM there to run an encounter, but I'm trying to give players lots of fun little "hey, what if I tried this?" moments with unexpected consequences.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them?   *Bobby: Honestly, the big thing for me is always time management. As development continues and my skills improve, I often find myself polishing areas and assets I'd already worked on before. If I didn't force myself to work on new stuff too I'd probably spend three years just polishing Greenridge to a mirror shine.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Bobby: Developing the protagonists further has really broadened my horizons writing-wise. I always wanted the game to have a nice emotional arc on top of all the jokes and surreal dungeons, but over time I've fleshed out Melody, Allison, Claire, and Jodie more and more, making everyone feel less like charicatures and more like real people with relatable motivations. The graphics have also gotten a lot better after several years of pixel art practice, and the level design has gotten less linear.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don't have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Bobby: It started out as just me. Friends on Tumblr quickly showed interest in contributing designs and music to the game just because they liked the project, and before long a lot of different people were putting their own little mark on the game. Some of my favorite characters in the game have been designed by friends, and I don't know where I'd be without the absolutely phenomenal soundtrack.

What was the best part of developing the game? *Bobby: I love designing characters, and writing in all these little details to make them feel real, and figuring out how they talk to each other, and seeing my audience pick out their favorites. It's a very rewarding process for me. The second best part is getting to listen to the soundtrack and realize "Wow... this is gonna be in a game that I'm making. And it's gonna be SICK."

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Bobby: Without a doubt, Melody. She differs from myself in a lot of major ways, so I wouldn't call her a self-insert, but she was created to give myself the relatable fat bisexual trans girl protagonist with anxiety that no other piece media was ever going to give me. A lot of her insecurities in the game are even loosely inspired by stuff I've been through in real life.

I also have a ton of fun writing the villains, but they're spoilers.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Bobby: I wish I'd been more consistent about my work ethic in the past. I worked EXTREMELY inconsistently on SLARPG throughout 2015, and I probably could've gotten a lot more done back then. But hey, live and learn.

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore game's universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Bobby: Oh, I'm absolutely hoping to revisit this world! Part of the reason I'm putting so much effort into revamping a game I already released is so that I can work with this new cast and setting again in the future. I'm not planning too far ahead right now, but I do have some vague ideas for more games I'd like to make in this world, possibly through the eyes of characters other than Melody.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Bobby: I'm looking forward to being able to play some longer games in my backlog without feeling guilty about it, haha. I've been dying to play stuff like The Witcher 3, NieR: Automata, and Final Fantasy XV, but I'm always worried it'll just take time away from my work. It's a wonder I managed to finish Breath of the Wild this year.

Is there something you're afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game?  *Bobby: This answer is gonna be a bummer, but I'm worried about is the harassment I'll have to deal with for putting out a game about LGBT characters. I've already dealt with this on several occasions, although thankfully it hasn't progressed past slur-filled anonymous messages. This toxic state of the gaming community is why I'm currently planning to release the game exclusively on itch.io, rather than exposing myself to Steam's hostile userbase. But it's a story that I think is worth telling, and for every piece of hate mail I get 20 messages from people telling me how excited they are, which is why I haven't given up.

Question from last month's featured dev: Is there any portion of your development that's gotten you outside your comfort zone? *Bobby: I think it's easy to say that most of it has been outside my comfort zone, actually. Working on SLARPG has really pushed the boundaries of what I previously thought I was capable of as an artist. When I first started I literally made a dungeon that was just a straight line with one 90 degree turn because I had no idea what else to do with the canvas. Now I can make dungeons that are actually slightly fun!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Bobby: Study the games and stories you love, and find out what really makes them tick. Don't just mimic surface level things, but study the mechanical, structural, and thematic elements that make them so memorable. Oh, and don't put too much effort into a fangame if there's even the slightest chance it'll get taken down, haha. Make something original loosely inspired by the things you love instead.

We mods would like to thank Bobby for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved! 

Remember to check out SLARPG if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum 

[attract-mode-collective]

Finally, The ET Video Game That You’ve Been Waiting For

Since there was no proper game culture wrap-up last week (again, sorry about that), along with how I’m filing this at the end of the week instead of the beginning (there’s… stuff happening, so consider this one of the more minor examples), there’s a lot to cover this time around. Including a bunch of happenings from the word of art.

So kicking things off is the latest from Amanda Visel X Michelle Valigura. Much like their Star Wars, Beetlejuice, and Heathers cabinets, here we their ideas of what arcade games based upon ET and Aliens could and should look like. And yeah, playing as Gertie is an approach that could salvage its reputation in the video game sphere, plus I totally want an Alien/Aliens video game starring Newt.

Actually, hasn’t something similar already happened? Sorry, haven’t kept up with the video adaptations; last one I played was for the Jaguar. Anyhow, and unfortunately, both pieces are sold out online. Though… and I’m not 100% certain, but… they’re both at the Thailand Toy Expo, so maybe they brought a few extras with them?

Elsewhere in Asia, Japan to be exact, are not just one but two other notable shows, and both focused on electronic entertainment. First is something you’re probably familiar with, the My Famicase Exhibition, and not just because it’s been around for 13 years. As of this writing, the entire assortment has yet to be shared officially, so you’ll have to turn to Twitter to see the participants boasting their own handiwork.

[UPDATE: 5/7/17] Actually, all the pieces are finally viewable on the Famicase homepage proper. Here are my faves…

… I particularly love Saturdays’s flavor text: “The gateway opens once a week. Tomorrow I’m going in.”

… You kinda need to see the actual cart in the wild to understand; here’s a pic courtesy of @mandimappy…

And finally...

… It’s maybe pointing out that the artist responsible for the concept above also did a piece for last year’s event as well, which ended up becoming something that’s actually playable! Hope history repeats itself cuz I really want a game about an all cat band with gross lyrics.

Now, the other show is something you may know nothing about, cuz a. the 16 Bit Models Exhibition has only been around for two years and b, was only open for just one day, hence why it’s fallen under many radars.

Admittedly, I found last year’s assortment a bit more up my alley, most due to my affinity for the obscure. Yet I can still appreciate this very realistic take on the Super Mario Bros (btw, am also sorry that I don’t know who’s responsible for what)…

Along with this realistic take on Pauline and Donkey Kong…

Yet the exhibition was a reminder that not every Nintendo game out there has been paid tribute to death, specifically Urban Champion…

The dioramas are easily the best parts of the 16 Bit Models Exhibition. Here’s an equally impressive one, featuring Castlevania…

Though once again, the obscurer the better, so this tribute to Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa gets a thumbs up from me…

Which is the lesser known game: Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa or City Connection? The latter at least was released on the NES at the time. Then again…

Moving onto fashion, UNIQLO recently unveiled an upcoming line based upon Mario and company. As one might expect from UNIQLO, they look quite nice! Here’s the campaign movie from Japan…

The best part is that UNIQLO’s entire line is headed towards the US! Was not expecting that. Alas, certain designs are not available to everyone, and I know more than a few adults who wouldn’t mind that Kirby tee. So here comes YUMMY MART to the rescue…

Somewhat along the same lines is Namco enlisting the talents of PAYNUS, who represents some of the esoteric offerings in the Pac-Store…

The constant reference to pizza is something that’s present in both the PAYNUS designs and Namco’s own in-house efforts…

Meanwhile, back at METEOR, in addition to the latest Famicase exhibit, they’ve also been busy with a collab with THUNDERBOX (which I highlighted just a few weeks ago). And from the looks of miki800.com’s post, MOUNTAIN GRAPHICS is also involved? Talk about a holy trinity…

Whereas the previous combination makes sense, the following is… unexpected. Recently discovered that R23X has teamed up with the The Yetee of all folks to produce a line of shirts showcasing glitched VHS stills. Including one that’s game related (technically two; there’s also a crop top version as well)…

Looks neat and all, but I’m less of a Final Fantasy 7 fan and more of a Wave Race 64 aficionado, and would therefore love to see this on a tee…

I’d also love to get my hands on one of these 100 yen pins that @rgb_club posted a couple weeks back, though no word on when it might be available…

Here’s another thing that’s not for sale, mostly cuz there was only one, which is of this baseball player made to look like a Street Fighter…

Which had the better Spinning Bird Kick; Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li…

Or City Hunter (yup, that’s Jackie Chan; via tenshokyaku)…

Sticking with leggy video game stars, thanks to thevideogameartarchive, we finally have an answer as to whether Link is boxers or briefs…

And sticking with Link for just a bit more, I particularly dig nozovis’s summary of the fun times him and Zelda have in Breath of the Wild…

Along those same lines is a zine that @WPR_haru made that’s filled with all the photos he took, one that I’d love to have a copy of…

Which fan art featuring a character from behind do you prefer; this Breath of the Wild piece by James Kochalka…

Or this Overwatch piece by some unknown artist (if anyone knows, plz let me know)…

Here we have @RAStyle85’s Astro City with a lots of buttons, for playing whatever game that requires that many inputs…

And here we have former Taito graphic designer Atsushi Iwata’s custom-built device, for producing pixel graphics!

Such things were used in other places, like SNK. Here we have a quote from someone who worked there, courtesy of videogamesdensetsu…

“The sprite editor used by artists for a number of SNK fighting games (Art Box) was written for the Neo-Geo, and uses the Neo-Geo as the interface. As in, you would use the joystick and the buttons to draw the sprite. He didn’t believe this when he started there, until one of the higher ups showed him by firing up one of the machines and drawing a kickass sprite of Robert Garcia in like 10 minutes”.

Does the Art Box sound familiar? Well, it should be.

The latest from The Gaming Historian, on the creation of the d-pad, answers the one question I’ve had for ages: if Nintendo was able to patent the control input, how were Sega and others able to get away with something seemingly similar?

Remember the 8bit Harmonica from last week? Well here’s another project involving the Famicom by Ugoita that’s a bit more… random?

This post has gone on for far too long without any Sega. Time to fix that with some gifs of Sonic from Sega Saturn de Hakken!! Tamagotchi Park, which as you may have guessed is a Tamagotchi title in which you can raise Sonic (and sorry, chilli dogs was Sonic’s fave food in the US, though I believe Sonic Generations would later recon that; via pr0jectneedlemouse)…

Though you can also raise other Sega personalities, like Opa Opa and Alex Kidd, plus even a Mega Drive cart (via grooveonfight)?

Super obscure Sega humor doesn’t get more obscure than this folks (note to self: on the next car trip, bring along the soundtrack to Super Hang-On cuz repeated plays of OutRun and Daytona USA tunes can get old after a while; via dnopls)…

I know the following has been shared liked crazy (hell, even NPR posted the damn thing), and for good reason. All I can say is, Pikachu #14, get your sh*t together…

Speaking of Pikachu and his pals, The Pokemon Center released a line of Ditto Gachapon figures that are supa kawaii (via retrogamerblog)…

Though the one piece of plastic I want the most is the also recently unveiled Samus from Metroid Prime figure by Good Smile Company, which looks hella cooler than the previously released Other M Figma…

Am embarrassed to admit that I have no idea where this following screenshot is from, nor the tune that accompanies it, both courtesy of radicalhelmet. If anyone would be kind enough to clue me in, would be supremely appreciated…

I wonder what the cover girl of this issue of Spoon is playing (via sixteen-bit)…

And this week’s recommended reading comes courtesy of mah boi Don Miller, and is actually something that Oliver at Minus World also picked up on, which is a book produced by the creator of LSD: Dream Emulator, among other things, and someone I’ve mentioned quite a few times around these parts. It’s called The Art of Computer Designing: A Black and White Approach and is available via archive.org…

As someone who has always planned on transforming an old iMac into a fish tank, thanks to Phazed, I know have other ideas…

And finally, and I also know that I’ve been saying the same thing over and over again, but Super Attractive Club members will be receiving another round up game culture snapshots, hopefully very soon! Until then, please enjoy this still life courtesy of peazy86…

BTW, peazy86 also does music, plus music videos…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

[funnythingshere0-blog]

'I punched him so hard he cried': inside the Street Fighter movie

New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/i-punched-him-so-hard-he-cried-inside-the-street-fighter-movie/

'I punched him so hard he cried': inside the Street Fighter movie

It was the early 1990s and every teenager in the world knew about Street Fighter II. Originally released in the arcades and then on the SNES and Mega Drive consoles, the game featured a cast of weird, semi-magical combatants with names like Ryu, Chun-Li and Guile battling it out for victory in the World Fighting Championship. It was colourful, competitive and ridiculous. It sold 15 million copies.

Realising the cinematic potential of the game’s giant brand, publisher Capcom soon dispatched a retinue of execs to Hollywood. Experienced producer Ed Pressman saw the potential immediately and he knew who to call: Steven De Souza, writer of Die Hard and Commando, and before those, TV hits such as The Hardy Boys, The Six Million Dollar Man and Knight Rider. Steven had impeccable action-entertainment experience, and was even working on an animated series, Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, for which Capcom had produced a tie-in video game. There was, in Hollywood business parlance, synergy.

Street Fighter: The Movie was not a critical success. On its release in December 1994 – a year after the calamitous Super Mario Bros film – it was derided as another ludicrous cash-in tossed at impressionable kids by cynical Hollywood execs. Reviewers railed against the cardboard characters and fans of the game derided the lacklustre, frenziedly edited fight scenes. However, unlike Super Mario Bros, Street Fighter: The Movie made money (lots of it), and the story of its troubled development is not one of incompetence but of tragic circumstances and drug-fuelled narcissism. And it began, as these things often do, with a frantic meeting.

Released in arcades in 1991, Street Fighter II was a smash hit when it was ported to SNES the following year. The series has made around $10bn in revenue for publisher Capcom.

“Ed and another producer came to me and said: ‘Capcom is going around – can you come up with a take for a movie? They’ll be here the day after tomorrow,’” recalls De Souza of the pitch. “I said: ‘Yeah, I’m very familiar with it – my son had just put his first year of college into that machine.’ I said I’d come up with a treatment, but I wanted to direct.”

De Souza wasn’t interested in making a tournament movie – he wanted something more like a James Bond adventure, with a proper plot and exotic locations. “Unbeknownst to me, Capcom was thinking in this direction,” he says. “When they came to the meeting they brought some artwork to help me, and one image had Bison as the most wanted criminal in the world, in a James Bond-style underground lair. I could see they were energised during our meeting, and within a week they said: ‘You guys are doing it.’”

Seven characters has always been the magic number through history: seven sins, seven wonders, hell, Seven Samurai.

Steven De Souza, writer and director

De Souza started working on his script, imagining Bison as the corrupt dictator of a fictional south-east Asian state, looking to take over the world with an army of genetically modified super soldiers. Guile would be the special forces hero, teaming up with street fighters Ken and Ryu to foil the dastardly plan.

Meanwhile, the producers set up the logistics. There was a modest $30m budget, with a 10-week shoot – six weeks on location in Thailand, followed by four in Australia at the new Warner Bros studio on the Gold Coast. De Souza’s plan was to funnel a portion of the budget into training the actors in martial arts before filming began, calling in the famed fight choreographer, Benny “The Jet” Urquidez to help out.

But then things started to go awry. Capcom decided it needed a big star for Guile and the producers went for Jean-Claude Van Damme – who, after the success of Timecop, was the biggest action movie actor in the world, with a price tag to match. To add some gravitas on the baddie side, the hugely respected character actor Raul Julia was approached to play Bison. He accepted, thanks in part to his kids, who were huge fans of the game. But like Van Damme, he wasn’t coming cheap.

“Now we had a couple of big stars in the cast but less money to make the movie,” says De Souza. “It meant all the other actors had to be really new names. That was fine, but we no longer had the money to hire them in advance for fight training. I said: ‘OK, we’ll film all the ‘people talking in rooms’ scenes early on, and while we’re doing those, the other characters will be off training.’ I thought, we’ll be filming for 10 weeks, so everyone will have three to six weeks of choreography on these fights. That was the plan.”

Jean-Claude Van Damme was the biggest action movie star in the world when he made Street Fighter: The Movie. But he came with a lot of baggage… Photograph: Allstar/MCA/Universal

It wasn’t the only challenge. De Souza had managed to convince Capcom to let him focus on just seven or eight characters from the Street Fighter roster, rather than all 19. “In the 100-odd minutes of the movie, there wasn’t a lot of screen time to go around – do the math,” he says. “Furthermore, the audience can barely keep track of seven characters, which is why it’s always been the magic number through history: seven sins, seven wonders, hell, Seven Samurai.

Midway through the shoot, somebody said​​: ‘Wait a minute, why is everyone fighting in the same way?’

Byron Mann (Ryu)

“[But] every time I turned in a draft they kept pressing me to add just more character. I would slide somebody in with a couple of lines. Then they’d say: ‘Can’t so-and-so have another scene, he’s very popular in Japan? And by the way what about this character?’”

Capcom was also attempting to meddle in casting – a situation that came to a head with Ryu. De Souza had already cast young Chinese-American actor Byron Mann in the vital role, but Capcom wanted Japanese actor, Kenya Sawada, who barely spoke English. In the end, De Souza reached a bizarre compromise: Sawada was given a cameo as an entirely new character, Captain Sawada, and Mann was Ryu. “I actually met [Sawada] a couple of times while I was going for casting,” recalls Mann. “He gave me some real dagger looks.”

Finally it seemed all the pieces were in place, but a tragic situation was soon to emerge.

One fight in Bangkok

Unknown to anyone on the production, Raul Julia was extremely unwell. Suffering from stomach cancer and undergoing gruelling treatment, he arrived in Bangkok a shadow of his former self. “I got a phone call from our costume consultant,” recalls De Souza. “She’d gone ahead a day before us to meet Raul and she said: ‘We have a problem. He looks ghastly; he’s like a skeleton.’ We thought: ‘Oh god, what are we going to do? We can’t put him on camera.’ We decided to push all of Raul’s scenes to the end of the movie, so he could gain weight and we’d move other things up front. I was putting people on the camera who’d had virtually no fight practice.”

Andrew Bryniarski as Zangief and Peter ‘Navy’ Tuiasosopo as Honda in Street Fighter: The Movie. Photograph: Moviestore/Rex/Shutterstock

Mann, who’d never starred in a movie before, recalls the ensuing difficulties. “We had our trainer, Benny, but he didn’t know what video game fighting actually was – it was all new to him,” he says. “We only found out midway through the shoot that different characters have different styles. Somebody said: ‘Wait a minute, why is everyone fighting in the same way?’”

There’s a scene where Ryu was to engage in a deadly sword fight with Vega (played by Jay Tavare), and Mann was supposed to have been well-drilled in fighting techniques – but the lessons kept being put off. “Then one day I was having lunch, and an assistant director came over to me and said: ‘Hey, are you ready for your knife fight?’ I said: ‘What are you talking about? I don’t know anything about it.’ I went to one of the Thai extras, a stunt guy, and asked him if he could help. On the spot, he taught me what he knew – and that’s what you see in the movie. And it was a bladed sword, it wasn’t plastic. I could have injured myself and others.”

The effects were only supposed to blow a quarter of the temple up, but it got a bit out of hand.

Keith Heygate, first assistant director

At the same time, Bangkok was throwing up some of its own challenges. “There was extreme heat, extreme humidity. We were supposed to be looking buff, but we were all losing weight,” says Mann. “If you watch the movie, we all look a lot bigger in the scenes shot in Australia. The weather was fine, the food was nice – we had all recovered.”

There were unique logistical challenges in Thailand, too. “There was talk of a possible coup, so the military closed all the roads down,” remembers Keith Heygate, the first assistant director on the second unit. “We needed to get the cast, the crew and all this equipment to different locations, so we had to travel by high-speed boats down the khlongs [canals] at 1am in the morning. This went on for 10 days, and these boats kicked up a lot of water, so, by the time we got to the location, the cast and crew were all sodden. Van Damme hated that.”

Better still, some of the big special effects were running away from them. “There was a scene where we blew up a temple,” says Heygate. “The art department built it,” he hastens to add. “The effects were only supposed to blow a quarter of it up but it got a bit out of hand. We had Jean-Claude, Kylie [Minogue, who played Cammy] and a bunch of other actors right outside it as it blew – and the whole thing went up. There was $240,000 of scaffolding and it just melted. But the sequence looked great.”

Even the interior shots were beset with troubles. Local production staff had sourced an old coast-guard building as a sound stage (it’s the building the Allied Nations take over as their HQ in the film), but the hangar had a tin roof – and it was the rainy season. “The noise was staggering,” says De Souza. “And even when the rain stopped, the walls were riddled with holes. It was like a John Woo gunfight had taken place in there – the sunlight would pour in and you couldn’t film anything. Also, I don’t know if it was the rainy season or defective equipment, but we’d be filming and the lights would just go out.

“After 10 days in Bangkok we were six days behind schedule – it was tortuous. The producers said: ‘You’re running behind!’ So I did an old John Ford trick: I just opened the script and ripped a page out and said, there, we’re back on track.”

Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li in Street Fighter: The Movie. Photograph: Alamy

With scenes being shot in a bewildering sequence or cut entirely, cast members struggled to make sense of their roles. “I didn’t know the character; I didn’t know the video game; I didn’t know what the hell I was doing,” says the veteran Indian actor Roshan Seth, who played Dhalsim.

“I was supposed to be a mad scientist. I thought: What sort of science am I supposed to be doing and what am I mad about?’ There’s a scene where my character has to pull out his hair in anger – they spent all day fitting me with a skull cap so I could literally pull my hair out. I just stopped thinking – they just told me what to do and I followed instructions.”

The Australian actor Robert Mammone was employed to play spec-ops soldier Carlos Blanka, who is captured by Bison and transformed into the green-skinned Blanka we know from the games. He only discovered that a body double was to play the post-transformation scenes when he met him at a cast party before shooting. Mammone still had to do close-ups, though, which meant spending three hours a day in makeup, getting Blanka’s green skin and wild orange hair. Then he’d have to sit around for hours. “I used to take a book with me on to set all the time. I was reading On The Road and I used to discuss it with Steven. In that scene where I’m strapped into the cubical, in between takes, I was made up as Blanka reading Jack Kerouac.”

I told him it was against health and safety to have alcohol on set. From that point on, he hated me

Amid the chaos and uncertainty, the actors did what they could to cope, hanging out in Bangkok bars at night and the gym during the day. “Between me, Vega, Ken [played by Damian Chapa] and Zangief [Andrew Bryniarski], there was a definitely a lot of machismo going on,” says Mann. “This wasn’t Sleepless in Seattle; it was who has the biggest biceps today.”

Ming-Na Wen, who played Chun-Li, and underwent intense weight training in the lead up to the film, remembers it a little differently. “They were all big wussies,” she says, laughing. “I won’t name names, but I got into one of those brother-sister banter relationships with one of the other actors. I remember one day, I punched him so hard he cried. We were just goofing around!”

Van Damme it all

In a cast full of young newcomers and civilised character actors, Jean-Claude Van Damme stood out as the archetypal movie star, with an ego to match. As he later admitted, he also came into Street Fighter with a major cocaine habit. At one stage in the 1990s, he was hoovering 10g a day; and $10,000 a week.

“I couldn’t talk about it at the time, but I can now: Jean-Claude was coked out of his mind,” says de Souza. “The studio had hired a wrangler to take care of him, but unfortunately the wrangler himself was a bad influence. Jean-Claude was calling in sick so much I had to keep looking through the script to find something else to film; I couldn’t just sit around for hours waiting for him. On two occasions, the producers allowed him to go to Hong Kong, and both occasions he came back late – on Mondays he just wasn’t there at all.”

Calling in sick … Jean-Claude Van Damme as Col Guile in Street FIghter: The Movie. Photograph: Allstar/MCA/Universal

Heygate has similar memories. “He was an interesting man, but he was extremely hard to work with – there are a lot of stories I can’t share,” he says. “There was one time he was in the trailer and he was quite pissed. My assistant couldn’t get him out, I couldn’t get him out, so I had to call the producer, Chad Rosen, to get him out. Then he came out with a bottle of a champagne. I told him it was against health and safety to have alcohol on set. From that point on, he hated me.”

The rest of the actors recall a frustrating and bemusing experience. “He had the presidential suite at the hotel, with a gym put into his room,” recalls Seth. “Sometimes he wouldn’t turn up on set – the message would come through from him saying: ‘I have to pump up my muscles!’ and that was that.”

Mammone managed to strike up a better relationship with him. “Van Damme certainly grandstanded around the set – he let everyone know who the star was,” he recalls. “He’d stay in the trailer until he was ready to come out; he’d take up so much time for a shot; scenes that should have only taken an hour could take half a day. But for some reason, perhaps because we played best mates in the movie, he was fine with me. We went to dinner, we hung out, he gave me my first proper Cuban cigar. One day, we were sitting in the makeup chairs and he said to me: ‘Robert, you have the stink of Tony Curtis.’ I think he meant ‘essence’.”

Van Damme has also since confessed to having an affair with co-star Minogue during the filming. Minogue was brought in late when De Souza found he needed an actor to play Cammy, and saw a photo of her on the cover of People magazine while on his flight over to Australia. Whatever the cast and crew thought of Van Damme, they all loved her. “She was a true professional – she was absolutely wonderful,” says Heygate. “During the filming, she actually hired out a club for the cast and crew to have a good time, because it was a tough shoot. She bought all the drinks and everything.” Wen concurs. “We bonded on set because we were the only two girls. We went out for dinner a lot. She is lovely, such a sweet human being.”

Director Steven de Souza saw Kylie Minogue on the cover of a magazine and cast her as Cammy. Photograph: Channel 5

Julia also drew the admiration and respect of his fellow actors. Terribly ill throughout the production, and accompanied by his wife and children – who may have known their time with him was limited – he gave everything he had to the Bison role.

“It was a joy to be on the same set as him,” says Mammone. “He wasn’t a movie star, he wasn’t a celebrity – he was an actor in the true sense of the word. The focus and concentration he maintained are things that I’ve carried with me for the rest of my career. When he stepped on set, he was that character.” Seth, too, has fond memories. “He used to sneak out at night like a tomcat,” he says. “He would go off gambling with a big Havana cigar clenched between his teeth. I thought that was terrifically romantic.”

Re-shoots, re-edits, reviews

When filming ended in Australia, the challenge wasn’t over. Several pages of the script hadn’t been shot, and when De Souza looked at some of the climactic fight scenes, he realised the choreography was patchy and boring. So he re-called several of the stars, set up an identical bunch of sets at a studio in Vancouver and did days of re-shoots.

People say it’s so dimwitted it’s funny, but we knew it was funny

All along, De Souza had been aiming for a PG-13 certificate, holding back on graphic violence in order to get those pre-teen Street Fighter fans into cinemas. “I was confident I’d shot a PG-13 film,” he says. “I had worked in TV for years and the shows I did – like Knight Rider – were considered family entertainment. I knew my way around ratings. But a week before we turned the movie in to the Motion Picture Association of America, there had been a school shooting. They gave it an R rating.

“I said: ‘Listen, we’ll just have to cut back.’ So we took out any places where you saw blood, we submitted it again and it was still an R. Now we started to take out some of the shots where impact was shown. I’m cutting away, cutting it back, back, back, and finally we hand it in – they give it a G rating. That would have been the kiss of death – no teenager wants to see a G movie! So I had Jean-Claude come in for one day and I added a line: ‘Four years of ROTC for this shit.’ That got us back up to PG-13.”

When the film premiered on 23 December 1994, the reviews were savage. The New York Times called it “a dreary, overstuffed hodgepodge of poorly edited martial arts sequences and often unintelligible dialogue”, which summed up the critical consensus.

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With hindsight, however, Street Fighter: The Movie is a charmingly camp and self-consciously silly action flick, offering a fast-cut, colourful and unmistakably early-90s take on video game culture. Much of that “unintelligible dialogue” has slipped into internet legend. There’s Chun-Li’s escape from AN custody (“what a screw up”, “what a woman”); and Van Damme’s confrontation with Simon Callow’s ambassador (“Colonel, have you lost your mind?”, “No, you’ve lost your balls”). And, of course, every single Raul Julia scene, from the moment he complains: “Why do they call me mad? All I want to do is create the perfect genetic soldier,” to the scene where Chun-Li confronts him about murdering her father, and he responds: “For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important of your life. But for me … it was Tuesday”.

“I’ll be perfectly honest, I was a little concerned when I saw the film,” says Wen. “I came from Carnegie Mellon university, I studied seriously as an actor, I did Shakespeare in the theatre. I can look back with fond memories now, but there were some cringe-worthy moments. At the time I was shooting ER and I remember saying to George Clooney: ‘Oh gosh, I think my career might be over.’ He said: ‘Oh honey, it takes a lot to kill a career – I should know.’”

And the careers of the Street Fighter graduates did come out intact. Van Damme recovered from his drug problems and made the staggering postmodern confessional JCVD; Minogue is a superstar; Mann has just starred in Skyscraper with The Rock, and Wen has joined the Marvel universe via Agents of SHIELD. For his part, De Souza, who is cheerful, funny and generous while discussing the movie, is un-self-consciously proud of it. “Jean Claude made two films that earned $100m: Timecop and this one,” he says. “It was extremely profitable for the studio – it cost $33m and made $105m, so it was good for everybody. People say it’s so dimwitted it’s funny, but we knew it was funny.

“How can you see that movie and think it’s funny by accident?”

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/games/2018/jul/16/inside-street-fighter-movie-jean-claude-van-damme-kylie-minogue

[3one3]

The Sequel - 874

Social Enrichment

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“I’m never going anywhere in this country with the three of you again. One of you is bad enough. Three is impossible.”

“You’re just mad no one wants selfies with you.”

“No I’m mad that every time I pick up my fork, someone asks me to move so they can sit next to you for a picture.”

“The price you pay to sit next to Marco Reus.”

“You’re an insufferable cunt.”

“Whoa! Hey! You don’t talk like that! I’m actually insulted now, because you don’t use that word.”

André tried to explain to Marco that Game of Thrones had a serious effect on Christina’s cursing, and Christina tried to stuff too many pieces of penne in her mouth at one time. It was as if every other person in the Italian restaurant took turns asking her to either take a picture of them with the three Borussia Dortmund players or give up her seat to make taking a selfie with them easier ever since the bowl of pasta was placed in front of her. It was really good pasta too, so it was torture.

“I could have been home watching it right now. I’m supposed to be home watching it right now. You people infringed on my plans.”

“For clarification, when I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with you two tonight, her response was- Hang on, I’ll read it to you right from the phone,” André told his friends. He picked up his iPhone and found the text conversation with his wife. She scowled disapprovingly while she chewed penne, pancetta, arugula, and tomato in creamy vodka sauce. “”Yes, yes, O-M-G yes!” And the second yes was all caps. Many exclamation points. And she picked the restaurant.”

“I did wonder why you would want to have Italian the night before you go to Italy,” Mario chimed in across the table from Marco. They were sharing a pizza. Christina wanted to tell him she wondered why he was eating pizza instead of some specialized diet for his mystery condition no one would tell her about, but she wasn’t that petty or crass.

“Italian food in Rome is not like Italian food outside of Italy,” she sighed. “And I thought it would be quick, and easy.”

“It is,” Marco nodded. “You’re complaining more than eating.” Christina threw a wadded up paper napkin at him. It bounced off the side of his face and hit hers. André laughed at her but he rubbed his ankle on her leg under the table too, to try to be consoling. He knew she wasn’t having a good time at dinner, and that she didn’t need to be there. He could see a true temper tantrum brewing and didn’t want to let it explode if he could do something to quash it. His girl was just plain cranky, and the PMS didn’t help, and the fans really were annoying, and Marco and Mario didn’t include her in the conversations or talk about things that would naturally draw her in. He thought they’d have a better time when his friends suggested grabbing a bite and hanging out. It was slightly relieving to see her take steps to calm her own impending tantrum after she glared at Marco for having the nerve to have a face that deflected balled up napkins. Rather than continuing the childish exchange of insults and gripes, she picked up her phone and her fork and focused on eating and social media browsing or texting. The guys went back to talking about who would and wouldn’t be fit for the Bundesliga match at the weekend. None of the three of them could play in the one on Wednesday. Marco was just beginning rehab, Mario was recovering from being smashed in the head by a rival defender and still had staples in his face, and André had only just returned to team training that day. Mario expected to be in the team at the weekend. André did not. Christina knew that already. They talked about other teammates battling fitness situations too, and she was interested in that, but didn’t bother trying to ask questions.

“Hi hello are you at the match or watching from home?” she asked Juan instead, who was not in the Chelsea team for the Blues’ league cup clash happening during her dinner. They talked that morning while she was changing for the barn, and he told her he wasn’t playing, which was one of the reasons she was eager to make the dinner plans with the more local players. After that, Christina was too busy for Juan. That was why she didn’t know if she went to the game or not. Every other day, she knew what his evening plans were. She knew what his everything plans were, more or less. They weren’t talking less, as André thought. They were talking less in front of him, and not for any particular reason. His improving fitness meant he was at Brackel longer each day, and the rider was back to full-time training with all of her horses except Dirk, so she was at the barn longer each day. She preserved her time with him as time with him, not time with him and her phone and her friends on it.

“At SB. It’s a nice game :)” the Spaniard told her. She knew from Twitter that his team was demolishing their lower league opponents.

“Can I post your baby blue bikini pic on IG?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever worn a baby blue bikini.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Sure.”

She wanted to post the photo he took of her on the boat, looking tan, and sexy, with green juice to drink and ice wrapped to her ankle and a book for entertainment, in juxtaposition to a picture of her pasta and Coke. Her caption would be “Horse show week before Olympics vs. horse show week after Olympics”. Christina was an expert at social media posts that looked self-deprecating on their face but were actually kind of braggy. Making fun of the not-so-good difference in preparation for competition before the Games and after was also a chance to show off how amazing she looked in that bikini, and how cool she must be to have someone around who could take such a stunning photo of her. Her skin was inhumanly metallic, and the lighting looked like a professional setup. The composition was just really appealing. It wasn’t like just anybody walked up behind her and snapped a photo with their iPhone. Even the juice looked amazing, and the whole thing told a story about who she was. She really liked the story.

“Have you ever worn a bikini in another color?” she asked the photographer after making her post.

“No. 1 piece is more flattering for my figure.”

“I think you could pull it off. How did you look that time you accidentally wore my underwear?”

“Gay porn star.”

“How would you know?”

“Shhhhhhhhh cariña.”

“What are you laughing at?” André asked.

“Juan.”

“He’s not playing?”

“Rested. Can I have a piece of your bread since you’re not gonna eat it?” Christina put her phone down and flashed a pleasant smile across to her partner. She wanted his garlic bread, first and foremost, and to make sure she was nice to him so that she could have her way later. She wanted that bath with him.

“When are you and me hanging out?” Marco asked her while André passed his uneaten bread.

“What do you mean?” The rider took a big bite and then furrowed her brows at the ginger haired forward beside her, who was looking at his pizza and not her brows, or the crumbs on her face for that matter.

“Schü says you want to hang out.”

“You’re not supposed to tell her I said that,” his friend chided. “She’s supposed to think you want to hang out with her.”

“I do want to hang out with her...” Marco held one hand out questioningly and mirrored the gesture with the slice of pizza in the other, which resulted in prosciutto and melon sliding off said slice of pizza onto the table.

“You guys know I’m sitting right here, right?” They always talk like I can’t hear them!

“He thinks you’re desperate for some Marco and Chris time but for some reason you’re too chicken to say so. I think he’s dumb,” Marco explained. He used a fork to rescue the food, and André just frowned at him.

“What happens during Marco and Chris time?” Mario interjected. “That’s not like Juan Mata and Chris time is it?” Everyone at the table turned toward him to glare at some level on the scale from questioning judgement to furiousness. “Don’t hit me. I already have staples in my face.”

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Marco remarked more than asked, head shaking ruefully.

“I meant...he’s like her bitch. He follows her around at the horse events, and goes as her date to annoying parties, and takes pictures for her- all that shit- and then he doesn’t get anything for it. I wasn’t talking about that summer...”

“Wait, what pictures?” Christina’s glare, at the furious end of the scale, slowly morphed more into perturbed curiosity. Mario picked up his mobile.

“You just posted one on Insta, didn’t you?”

“How do you know he took it?”

“Neither of you posted anything from your holiday.” He gestured back and forth between her and her husband. Oh. Well...I mean...That’s true. It’s weird that he noticed though, isn’t it?

“You spend too much time on social media,” Marco commented for all of them. André reached for his own device to see what they were talking about. “Every minute you aren’t training, you’re doing something on that phone.”

“I don’t even know what you’re trying to say about me and Juan, but no, I don’t think “Marco and Chris time” would be like that. I don’t even know what “Marco and Chris time” is.” The rider took a long sip from her straw and let her eyes move from player to player. They all looked uncomfortable and confused. Marco was the first to take command of the awkwardness. He turned to frown at her like he was really disappointed.

“Woman, please,” he scoffed dramatically. “You know full well. Marco and Chris time is when we avoid being seen together and I make you eat food you don’t like while we talk about other people.”

“Okay...?” Christina pretended she was still clueless, but what he was saying did ring some bells. She knew by “other people” he meant they talked about Jill, mostly. She also remembered Marco and Chris time occasionally including a lot of brown liquor, or friendly cuddling and napping. What she didn’t know was how her husband evidently knew she missed hanging with his friend one-on-one, and thinking about that helped her realize why they were having that dinner. She also missed hanging out with all of them together. It was their first summer without a shared holiday in a long time. It was their first summer without sharing a bed to watch TV and be bums, without going shopping with them and picking out goofy clothes for them to try or rejecting their terrible selections, without partying and dancing, without playing in a pool or the ocean, and without feeling like Mario and Marco were her friend-family too, not just André’s. Husband and wife discussed how hanging with them wasn’t the same when they went to dinner with a bunch of guys from the team, and their partners, as part of conversations about Christina’s lack of local friends in Dortmund. Husband was discreetly trying to rectify that situation. Wife looked at him across their pasta bowls and smiled a little as she put it all together. Marco certainly blew his cover, but she still really appreciated that he listened to her say she was going to be home a lot and then tried to stimulate some friendships that might help her enjoy that time in Dortmund.

“So when you get back from Italy we’re gonna hang out. You let me drive the Ferrari, I take you to sushi, and then we can do something you like. Like, letting me pick out stilettos for you that you otherwise wouldn’t consider.”

“That just sounds like me doing a bunch of stuff I don’t want to do,” she chuckled at the midfielder to her right. “No way are you driving the Ferrari.”

“Fine, but we’re getting sushi and you’re getting primo shoes.”

“I like sushi. I like shoes.” Mario looked at his teammate like he was mildly offended at being left out.

“I’ll take you out for sushi and shoes another time, babe,” Marco winked.

“I don’t want to go with you. I want to go with her.”

“You and I should get mani/pedi’s together and have a coffee date,” Christina offered the other player, fully aware that they were both just pretending to vie for her company because André’ had a rough time lately with his injuries and his relationship and they’d be doing him a solid by making her feel like a valued member of the clique. They made tentative plans for their separate “dates”, and when it was all settled and the guys went back to talking about dressing room things, she mouthed a thank you at her regular date. He winked back, and his beautiful deep blues squinted a bit because they were filling with pride and satisfaction with himself for doing a good thing without even having to be guided or prodded to it, and that made him want to grin. He could stop his mouth from doing it, but not his eyes. Getting credit for the friend-dates was nice, but he didn’t want it, and he apologized later on for Marco being so obvious.

“He wasn’t supposed to make it all awkward,” he explained in the bathtub, Christina in his lap and lavender and sandalwood in his nose. She put a blue robot in the water that turned into cappuccino-like foam. The robot, she promised, was full of “good stuff for sleepy time”. It smelled nice, and she felt nice in his lap too, so the blue bath was okay by him.

“I appreciate it either way,” she shrugged against his chest.

“Are we in the tub because your ovaries and breasts hurt and you didn’t want to be bored by yourself, or-“

“I just wanted to soak with you. We haven’t in a while.”

“I was going to say, or because you want an excuse not to have sex after. “We just got clean!” or-“

“Has it never occurred to you that I might want to get clean expressly for the purpose of having sex?”

“No. Not unless you’re gonna ask me to lick your ass-“

“I’m not. But we are making love after this.”

“Making love, ay?”

“Mhm. Get your finger out of my belly button.”

André left her belly button alone and picked up the sponge floating on the foamy surface instead. He wrung it out a bit and then slowly moved it around his girl’s chest- across her sternum, between her breasts, under each one, and in lazy circles around her nipples while he gently roamed around her stomach with his palm cupped as if he were going to scratch at her. He liked the feel of her tummy, and the view of her wet chest. The water only made it a few inches shy of her armpits because she was sitting on the elevated bump designed specifically for their current position. His moving the sponge around made waves spill up higher and leave glistening wetness on her breasts on the retreat. Christina insisted on candles instead of any of the overhead lights, and their little flames emphasized the gleam of the water. She was kneading his thighs a little with her hands, and rubbing one of his ankles with her big toe. It took a really long time to fill the excessively wide tub, but the comfort of the many different soaking positions it afforded was entirely worth the wait.

“I’m kind of nervous about the horse show.”

“You’re joking,” the player laughed at the little voice from the little girl relaxing on him.

“I’m serious. What if everyone is weird to you after you don’t win a medal you should have won, or weird to you for securing a team medal over some people who probably should have won? What if everyone is fake and adoring?”

“Don’t be silly,” he told her, abandoning the sponge to put his arm around her head and comb her hair back. He knew she didn’t want the blue foam in her hair but it was wet anyway because she washed it in the shower while the tub was filling. “Some people- not the riders or trainers, I’m sure- will probably want to be your friend now, or use you however they can. No one else is going to be any different. They all respect you. If anything, they’ll respect you more now for the 5 clear rounds. I still think the rules are stupid,” André grumbled. “You jumped clear. The other guy had faults!”

“That’s not how it works,” Christina reminded needlessly, with a small smile.

“Whatever. You’ll be fine.” She’s just looking for drama. It’s like she’s incapable of going into an event without any. One day she’s going to have to learn to just chill again, her bath buddy sighed to himself. Of all the times to be nervous about a competition, how could she possibly choose now? It’s just a Tour thing, she’s already qualified for the final, and she’s sworn a million times that she doesn’t care to defend her title. She just won two Olympic medals. One of them was a gold! How could she possibly be nervous?

“I’m not worried that I won’t be fine. I’m nervous about how people will react to me. It’s different,” she sighed aloud. “I don’t want people to be weird.”

“I think you’re manufacturing the prospect of a problem, Prinzessin. You’re not going to have time to be around the horse people anyway. You’re going with a toddler and a baby, some new parents, some grandparents, dogs, a student and a boyfriend...”

“Okay.”

“I love it when you give up and say “okay” like that,” André growl-whispered in her ear. The gesture produced uncontrollable cackling, and numerous declarations about how lame and cheesy he could be. He didn’t care. “I do! I love when you have an issue and you tell me about it, first of all, and then I love when you let me actually talk you out of it, and accept what I say about it. It’s rare!”

“You’re rare.”

“Shine bright like a diamond.”

“Stop it,” his girl snorted. “And are diamonds even rare anymore?”

“I suppose not. But to be real- I do love when you let me help you with something,” he told her very sincerely. He used that hand around the top of her head to bring it closer for a smooch on her temple with the side of his mouth. “I love you.”

“Love you,” Christina mumbled back as she wriggled around some to give her butt a break from sitting on hard porcelain. Her partner offered his thighs as an alternative, and then lifted her by the armpits when she accepted. It made her giggle, and brought her face much closer to his when he set her down. He kissed her cheek until she turned her head to get one on the lips instead. “Love you,” she repeated as those lips curled up in a small grin. André’s hands were already back on more comforting parts of her body, and she did some more wriggling and wiggling to get at least a little lower again. It was warmer in the water and she didn’t want so much of herself sticking up out of it- plus André’s chest was a good pillow for the back of her head and the tub wasn’t.

“You’re lucky you’re so small, pretty girl,” he yawned. “Whenever Mausi climbs around on me I start to feel anxious that he’ll be too big for it one day.”

“And then you remember his mom is a midget.”

“I still don’t get how he fit in here.” The BVB man spread both palms flat on his girl’s belly for a second, as if to assess the dimensions of it. They split to travel to the widest part of her hips, squeezed, and then followed the tops of her thighs downward, between her legs. Her right foot was flat on his calf, so that knee was bent and flopped over to the side to rest on the tub. There was plenty of room to feel around in the place he was interested in. He felt something wonderful. “Ugh, wet pussy lips are so amazing. It’s like...I can’t even describe. Like dumpling noodles, but better.”

“Ew. Boyfriend.” Christina cringed and pulled a disbelieving face he couldn’t see even if his eyes hadn’t been shut to help enjoy the sensation around his fingertips. So soft, and delicate, and pliable. Being underwater makes the outside part feel like the inside does after she cums. I could pet and play with her like this all night, he sighed happily inside while fingertip-deep inside her. His middle finger enjoyed in there while his pointer and ring fingers touched outside, which was equally soft and pleasant, and hairless. Christina used her new blade sharpening knowledge to revitalize her own electric razor too.

“Have I ever licked your pussy underwater?”

“No. And stop saying the P-word. I hate that word.”

“I kind of want to. But I’m not sure how it would work,” André thought aloud. “I would get a mouth full of water, obviously.”

“You are so special sometimes.”

“How much of your bath time when I’m not here is touching yourself? If I had your vagina, I would submerge it in water and touch it for an hour a day, minimum. God...baby. I want...” His thought went unfinished, but he tilted his head to kiss-suck at her jaw, and cupped his left hand around her right breast to lift and squeeze it a little. His totally unfiltered expressions of desire made his wife smirk. She found it cute, not sexy. But his touch was closer to sexy.

“What do you want?” she asked, trying very hard not to sound as knowing as she felt. The footballer used an arm across her waist to heave her whole body abruptly upward, where he could kiss her neck.

“I want my baby.” He held her tight to his chest and pulled as much of her skin between his lips as he could. His then favorite of her features remained just underwater, and his fingers remained just inside and outside there. The whole thing made for a strange dichotomy for Christina, who didn’t really like being held up by her chest and awkwardly squished, but did like her partner’s thin lips devouring her neck. Half of her was very cold being forced up out of the nice warm water, and half of her was still getting hotter.

“You may have her if you stop crushing her ribcage,” she giggled, much to his delight. He loved her giggles. He loved her happiness when it was authentic, spontaneous, and unburdened. He loved being the catalyst for it most of all. It made him want her even more. He continued holding her up with his arm right under her chest, and used the other one and all of his core strength to lift them both out of the water. André managed to get to his feet without dropping her or slipping in the tub. He stepped out of it very carefully, set Christina down just long enough for her to turn around, picked her up again with one arm at her back and a firm hold at the back of her thigh, and promptly laid her right down on the big black bathmat between the glass shower and the long vanity. It wasn’t much more comfortable than just being on the tile floor, and his knees told him so when he set himself down on top of her, but comfort was not a priority. Kissing the goosebump-covered, wet, warm, giggling girl was the most urgent concern.

He started it almost carefully because he was distracted by her face. His lips lowered toward hers and then his eyes found hers. They were so happy- delighted even. The darkness of the bathroom made her pupils swell to compensate, leaving thin grayish-blue rings to express her energy. Christina didn’t say anything, but her eyes said “my favorite thing”. Her partner recognized it. It was almost like looking at Lukas when he successfully built a block tower larger than his last one. Both looks were pure joy. He knew she wasn’t turned on the way he was. She was thrilled because of how turned on he was. His attraction and thirst did that to her. Her expression also told him there was truly nothing she’d rather be doing, and that was a rarity of late. It almost always seemed as if even when she was having a good time and enjoying something, some part of her wished she could be elsewhere, doing a different thing, with someone else. So it took a few seconds for his enthusiasm for kissing to catch back up to his lips, and it came with a sloppy exhale through his nose, and a hand in Christina’s hair.

“You make me so happy, baby,” he muttered after making sure he covered every bit of her lips with both of his, twice. It was her silk pussy that got me, but her reaction is so much more important, he thought to himself while she lifted her head just off the carpet to push little kisses on his closed lips. I don’t make anybody in the world happy the way I make her happy. She’s the only one. I’m here just for her and she’s here just for me. I know it. I know it.

“Make love to me,” the rider whispered in her most deliberately seductive but submissive voice. She didn’t want to be demanding. She knew he liked to hear her ask for what she wanted but still maintain some semblance of her usual prudish innocence. She knew it made him hard, and hungry, to know that she wanted or needed something from him enough to ask for it instead of suggest it with behavior or wait for it, and for her to be serious about it instead of casual. Christina was pretty good at conjuring that tone even when she didn’t necessarily feel entirely in line with its connotation. Sometimes she employed it to make him happy, and sometimes it just came out naturally. It was the former situation on the bathroom floor, but she wanted it to be natural, and she was eager to see if the bathroom floor was going to be the place where they finally had that meaningful kind of sex she longed for- the kind she believed she only had with Juan then.

“What else did you think I was going to do?” André whispered back, smiling. He smooched her on the mouth again instead of giving her a chance to respond, and he dropped his lower body down to push against her. His hips moved up and down over hers a few times- slowly, and a touch labored, as if he were doing pull ups and just happened to be dragging himself against her the whole time. It was just too difficult to remain still while he cradled her head and kept kissing. Eventually it was Christina who clamped her hands on his butt cheeks and forced him to stop. She wanted the player to move just like that, actually, but with part of him inside of her instead of caught between their bodies. André was aware of that, and he lifted up enough and reached down between them to fix that, and she readied herself to find out if they could still have the “I just want to love you” sex she was both having and fantasizing about regularly with her best friend.

[nofomoartworld]

[Exclusive] Epically Problematic Heist Film Is a Parable for Trump's USA

Aimless, poor, and depressed, Albert is fed up with his lot in life and decides to rob a bank in Bay Area-based filmmaker Joe Talbot's American Paradise, debuting online today as a Vimeo Staff Pick Premiere. It's a crazy caper, made more outlandish by the fact that it's based on a true story.

"Al is a ticking time-bomb, somewhere between Rupert Pupkin and Travis Bickle, whose misguided path speaks to something larger about our culture as a whole," Talbot tells Creators. He wrote and shot the film before Donald Trump was elected, but American Paradise taps into the wave of racial and class dissatisfaction that the president rode into office. When Albert's plans go awry, they culminate in a parable that earned Jury Award nominations at the Sundance Film Festival and South by Southwest, won the award at the Nashville Film Festival and charmed an audience at Harlem's Apollo Theater.

Watch the film above if you wish to avoid spoilers below.

In 2010, an Ohio white man named Conrad Zyrtiak was charged with robbing six banks while wearing a Hollywood-quality mask that made him look like a black man. When Albert walks into the bank, he's wearing a mask, the same make and model that Zyrtiak wore.

American Paradise is framed as a semi-factual parable told by an older African American man to a younger fishing companion, played by Talbot's close friend and roommate, Jimmie Fail. Fail is the subject of a narrative documentary hybrid called The Last Black Man in San Francisco, for which Talbot is currently fundraising.

Talbot, raised in San Francisco's diverse Hunters Point neighborhood, dances around the politics of race and systemic brutality to deliver a story that he says delivered as many laughs at the Apollo as at SXSW. We asked him a few questions about how he wrote and directed a lighthearted film about race and law enforcement in 2017.

Still courtesy Joe Talbot

Creators: Where were you when you first came across the true story that inspired American Paradise?

Joe Talbot: I stumbled upon this video, which is sort of a fascinating short film in its own right, and subsequent disturbing follow-ups. I was shocked I hadn't heard about it. Watching the YouTube videos of the people in the masks after made me feel a little queasy.

I called my producer, Khaliah Neal, who I'd been working with on our feature film, The Last Black Man in San Francisco, and told her about the story. I work closely with the same core team and we tend to work pretty collaboratively, almost more like a writers room, so a big part of the process early on is just talking out the ideas and feeling out how others respond to it. We all had different reactions, but felt there was something there worth exploring.

Why did you want to tell this story?

I wanted to make something that wasn't solely an indictment of this desperate cast-off, but showed the way others were implicit as well. It's easy to point your nose up at the freaks on the fringe who do the unthinkable. It's harder to look inward at our own similarities with them. And in this case, they run deep.

With the exception of the black man in the bank, everyone thinks Albert is black. This was the case in the real life incident as well. The teenagers at the stoplight, the bank teller, the cop all perceive him as a black man. What does that say about our understanding of black people and black culture? That an obvious charlatan fooled so many people? It's no longer just his own misconceived sense of blackness, but all of ours.

And while our movie obviously dramatizes the events that happened, we did in fact use the same model mask that the real bank robber used. So when he busts through the bank doors in our film, that is exactly what people saw in real life.

Photo by Laila Bahman

What is the most memorable reaction someone has had to the film?

We showed the film at The Apollo as a sneak preview before Sundance. It was our first time showing it to anyone outside of our team and by that point, I'd watched it so many times in the edit, I'd lost my ability to assess how someone might take it in for the very first time. I was surprised to hear how much people laughed. I was a little wowed by the way group settings and collective energy can impact a viewing.

In taking it on the festival circuit, I realized this can be especially true with shorts because your slot in a program can greatly affect the way the film is taken in, far beyond the metrics of just good and bad. At Sundance—partially due to the audience they get—people seemed to receive it very seriously and it got the kind of dark chuckles the Coens might solicit (though Dolores Huerta was seated behind us, cracking up).

At SXSW, it got big laughs because I think audiences there expect more humor, and the programmer Claudette Godfrey had placed it as a "pick-me-up laugher" at the end of a very heavy program. At our hometown screening at SFIFF, it played after a moving portrait of the mother of Mario Woods, who was unjustly killed by the SFPD. I think most people were crying at the end of that film, so it takes a moment to adjust as you reopen yourself for the next film, especially one like ours that dances on a line between humor and drama.

Photo by Laila Bahman

Which character in the film do you most identify with?

I don't know that I identify with any one character, but I sympathize with some of them at various points. I like outsiders, and I often feel like one, so the moment where Al is looking at the postcard, wondering if there's some place out there he'd be celebrated, makes me feel for him. When he enters the bank, my sympathies shift to the man on the floor he yells at. I sympathize with that woman who has to work at that donut shop and deal with sketchy dudes like Al doing god knows what in her bathroom.

You have summarized the film as a reflection of Trump's America. How has living with Trumpism impacted you as an artist?

I think that while Trump's election can feel like it's breathed new life into a fringe group, the darker truth is that he's unhooded a massive beast that had been actively lurking all along. It was here before Trump was elected when we wrote and shot the film, and now it's just out proudly strutting around in broad daylight for all to see. But I think that since that unhooding, Al's story stands out less, which is disturbing to think about given how shocking his story felt when I first became aware of it.

Photo by Laila Bahman

How do you respond to people who are critical of a white director telling stories about race in America?

So far, no one has said that to me yet, but I'm sure they're out there and of course, I'd want hear them out and open a dialogue. That is essentially what this film is all about, and what I'd hoped it would achieve. However, it's hard to fully answer that question without first knowing who that person is, what informs their criticism and what motivates them to ask about it in the first place.

As a general response, I'd say there's a great number of white directors with little interest in POC characters. I think that's probably a result of a system that's favored putting white males in the director's chair, many of whom probably didn't have many close POC friends growing up. And so out of fear of seeming racist or getting things wrong, they run from the risky thing they don't know. I'm not here to shut them down, but my background is different. I grew up in a diverse neighborhood. My friend group has always been diverse. So for me, it makes sense to deal with issues of race and to have diverse casts.

Still courtesy Joe Talbot

How are the ideas of American Paradise reflected in your upcoming film, The Last Black Man in San Francisco?

Issues regarding race and class are also a part of—Last Black Man—and although there will be some aesthetic and tonal similarities and much of the creative team will be the same—Last Black Man will be told as more of a valentine than a crazy caper. It's based on American Paradise co-star Jimmie Fail's life story he first told me when we were kids and is our homage to the San Francisco we grew up in that's fading fast.

See more of Joe Talbot's work here.

Related:

Rashid Johnson Turns to Color as a Respite From Politics

These Complex Self-Portraits Will Challenge Your Assumptions About Race

How an Unfinished James Baldwin Manuscript Became a Documentary Film

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[alienation2016-blog]

New Post has been published on Alienation

New Post has been published on https://alienation.biz/u-s-stocks-dollar-mixed-amid-policy-whirlwind/

U.S. Stocks, Dollar Mixed Amid Policy Whirlwind

Bloomberg) — U.S. stocks and the dollar were little modified after an up-and-down consultation amid a whirlwind of policy information because the Trump management seeks to burnish its record ahead of its one-hundredth day in the workplace.yahoo finance.dollar car sales

The S&P 500 Index eked out a gain to shut close to all-time highs amid a flurry of headlines on everything from Nafta to tax reform, the finances and health care. Power manufacturers tumbled after crude slid to $forty-nine a barrel on difficulty over a supply glut, even as earnings lifted era indexes to sparkling statistics. Amazon.Com Inc. And Alphabet Inc. Climbed after hours as results crowned estimates, while Intel Corp. Slipped. The Mexican peso pared gains and Canada’s dollar became little modified amid mixed signals from the White Residence on the Nafta regional trade agreement. The euro weakened after the European Relevant Bank signaled its commitment to stimulus while the vicinity’s economic system corporations. Gold changed into little changed and emerging marketplace belongings slipped.dollar rent a car

Politics remained in attention this week as the Trump administration unveiled a

Rapidly assembled plan to reduce taxes on Wednesday and gave blended signals on its intentions for the North American change agreement. The machinations left markets uncertain of the coverage route, with masses of debate and few concrete movements on which to exchange. Congress is likewise considering a persevering with a decision to keep away from a central authority shutdown, even as Residence Republicans try to revive law to repeal Obamacare. The U.S. Political turmoil overshadowed the ECB’s brand new policy observation. President Mario Draghi confirmed developing enthusiasm about the state of the euro-area financial system, whilst cautioning that inflation pressures stay too weak to contemplate paying lower back stimulus.

Private Equity Stocks

The use of the words Challenge Capital and private Equity are typically used collectively, but there is most effective one class of personal Equity, and this is Challenge capital. Personal Fairness has unique risks. For example, a few agencies will go through growth modifications extra time and this typically calls for capital in numerous unique quantities. This capital is likewise coming from multiple resources. Each level all through an enterprise’s boom is looked at as a “hazard continuum”. If your corporation is younger and is slightly producing a cash drift, then it comes to be an excessive threat to funding. Normally a corporation, in this case, would be required to obtain capital from own family or pals or angel buyers. As soon as the organization begins producing sales, then the danger will become much much less.

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Those are often used Once the company has grown a few and is a bit extra secured. They may require some debt and Fairness, however, the ordinary hazard is much lower with a low fair charge.

LBO stands for Leveraged Buyouts. They’re one of the Maximum common loans that are used for Personal Fairness. An organization obtains a loan from a Non-public Equity firm that is then secured via cash or corporation assets. Sometimes the LBO is brought in several pieces and any coins this is generated would be used as a down charge for excessive leverages. This form of a system become very large a pair a long time ago but now LBO deals are more focused on buying groups with the rationale to feature cost to the businesses assets instead of having the employer sell portions of their shape.

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This type of mortgage both comes from a commercial financial institution or a Challenge capital firm that focuses on Mezzanines. They normally include subordinated loans or commonplace shares. While you do not take on a complete Equity position, then a firm that specializes in mezzanine debt can lower its hazard. This is primarily based on capital protection.

A good way to have interaction in a Personal Fairness or Assignment capital partnership, the investor ought to be accepted. On occasion, even the net worth should exceed one million bucks. For investors who’s net well worth is a touch decrease, then they have the option for trade funds. change Traded price range are a Non-public Fairness Index. there’s a list of several publicly traded agencies in order to make investments into Private Equity.

average Private Fairness has several paperwork and Project capital is simply one of those which could help a corporation all through one of a kind increase ranges. It’s all based on how the market is turning and the existing cycles.

The Making of a Multi-Million Dollar Insurance Salesperson

Every income character or income agent fantasizes about turning into a millionaire. This is how one character became a Multi-Million Greenback Coverage Salesperson.

Over half of the Insurance sellers recruited earn less than $50,000 before making a short exist. So how do you are making 1,000,000 bucks, a then greater? In particular whilst your career includes promoting Coverage? For me, it was now not through operating 70 hours every week. No “get wealthy quick” Coverage change mag article or ad inspired me. I don’t ever don’t forget to operate with millionaire clients. In truth, in my case, it would take a ton of guidelines to identical a million bucks top class gathered, let alone fee earned. I by no means even obtained one of the over 90 Coverage designations presently to be had.

My case worried placing collectively a formulation, that you can without problems (with effort) blend to reap comparable or superior outcomes. For me, the components have been composed of 4 components.

Willpower I want to convince myself that I should acquire the Coverage production goals I used to be putting.

To begin, I bought a set of books on advantageous wondering. In them, they emphasize terms like “I will” and “I will”. I repeated those keyword terms again and again in my conscious thoughts and noticed a few exact constant development in my income achievements. True however no longer Desirable enough.

Suddenly I used to be delivered to self-hypnosis and my Coverage profession instantly modified. This becomes no longer a few occult form of hocus-pocus but sheer enrichment that builds and builds. It starts with a customer from England who changed into a professional hypnotist. I was intrigued, and he agreed to train me how the subconscious thoughts routinely override the conscious thoughts. He then graciously taught a way to without problems hypnotize me each time I wanting. I programmed myself for achievement, and fulfillment followed.

income Talents The so known as selling Abilities Coverage groups confirmed me, by no means certainly stepped forward. I fast saw that repetition of a bad habit is dangerous in your profession. Now that my income changed into growing, I introduced another piece of dynamite to reaching income desires faster. If I should double my ultimate ratio, it turned into simple to look my profits doubling.

I invested in the Dale Carnegie course for income human beings.

Throughout this path, I learned the stairs that ought to be protected nicely in case you are going to count on a sale. What I did no longer anticipate was the declaration that passing the course required masking all the factors in a minute or much less presentation. This is after I re-emerged a trait, I used to be not the usage of enough.

Determination I set myself an aim that passed simply passing the course. Although there had been around 25 people taking the direction, I was decided. no longer only became I going to skip, however, my presentation might be voted the quality of my fellow 2 dozen professional income human beings. Pointless to say, it took Self-discipline, income ability, and determination galore. Winning gave me a feeling of floating sky high. After this, I felt I could promote snow to an Eskimo.

Tips for Choosing the Right Insurance Policy

The antique saying “Fitness is Wealth” denotes having accurate Health is lots greater essential that having plenty of wealth. precise Fitness can help you learn effectively and make sure you enjoy an excellent lifestyle. A person with a horrific Health, however, spends the maximum of his cash on remedy and doctor visits. The popular Arabic proverb says, “He, who has Health, has hope; and he, who has the wish, has the entirety”.

For this reason, it’s miles our responsibility to stay covered. Despite all the precautions, it isn’t always usually viable to avoid accidents and infection and As a consequence, one wants to be eventually organized for such tragic incidents. In excessive cases, we are also forced to borrow money from out of doors to keep our treatment.

Safeguarding your Fitness with coverage policy will ensure you’re organized for all varieties of scenarios.

With thorough studies and assessment, you may identify the high-quality product that fits your necessities. research may be time ingesting and difficult with such a lot of to be had options in the market. There are some important guidelines which you ought to maintain in thoughts at the same time as seeking out the satisfactory coverage covers and they may be as follows:

• Simple Hospitalization Cover: If your pocket does no longer allow you to shop for a complete medical insurance Cowl, you could look for Primary Fitness care plan that pays for the fees incurred from any kinds of illness or accident.