#Mariposa writes<3

[mariposa-drowned]

Some purely indulgent period comfort bc I feel like death rn.

Abby x Fem!reader

Abby walked through the door to your shared home, a cozy house in the safe haven of Jackson. She eagerly toed of her boots and dropped her pack onto the floor, relief flooding her muscles as she relaxed for the first time today. Her brows furrowed, finding the atmosphere oddly quiet, normally you'd be in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or in the living room rewatching one of your many DVDs and VHS tapes that you had traded for over time.

Abby checked around the downstairs, calling out your name a few times, trying not to panic, but she knew for a fact that you were home today, as this morning you let her know that you felt as if you were coming down with something and politely asked if she could let Maria know that you'd be out today. Abby had offered to stay home aswell to look after you, but you stubbornly refused, assuring her that you'd be fine, and it was nothing major. She made her way upstairs letting out a sigh of relief when she found your normally closed door slightly open, your shared silent signal that one of you was home and welcome to come into the room. You had this odd system to communicate easily when one of you was feeling a bit too overwhelmed. If the door was closed, you didn't want to be bothered, and it was best to check back in another 15 minutes. If the door was open, it was a green light.

Abby slowly pushed the door the rest of the way open "Angel? You alright?" She spoke softer than normal, being cautious of a possible headache.

You grumbled, rolling over in your queen sized bed to look up at your beautiful girlfriend, her braid was a bit messy from patrol, the lightest sheen of sweat still remains on her skin.

Abby's eyes widened. That would definitely explain your recent feelings and attitude with her lately. You met her gaze, looking down to the bed and seeing a small bloodstain right where you were laying before you moved to see Abby.

"fuuuucckkk this is not what I needed today" you groaned out, hopping off the bed you started stripping the sheets off the bed, throwing the blankets and pillows aside.

Abby came up behind you gently peeling you hands off the sheets "how about you go start a bath for yourself and I'll take care of this hm? I'll join you in a bit if you'd like, just leave your clothes outside the door and I'll throw em in with the sheets."

You smiled at her kindness, "thank you my love but it's my blood, Im sure I can handle it" you gave her a peck on the cheek and reached back for the sheets, before you could get your hands back on them you felt an intense cramp bloom throughout your lower abdomen causing you to clutch your stomache and fold in on yourself to try and relieve the pain.

Abby quickly caught you before you could make it to the ground, she picked you up like a toddler, you holding on tightly to her front as you buried your face in her neck. "never said you couldn't handle it sugar, just said to go start your bath, bein all stubborn and sorts" she set you down on the bathroom counter, moving to the tub to start some water, throwing a small amount of your soap in there to create a sheen of bubbles.

Abby went back to standing in front of you, you leaned forward to give her a kiss, her hands coming to your hips and rubbing gently to try and soothe your pain. She pulled away first, knowing she had to go out the sheets in the wash before they were permanently stained, not that she'd mind, but she knew you would always feel terrible about it and she couldnt have that.

Your gaze drifted down to her pants where you saw a small red spot on her cargos, her eyes followed your line of sight, "I'm sorry" you muttered out dropping your gaze to the floor in shame.

Her hand moved to grab a hold of your chin, making you look to her "hey, none of that, s'not your fault, I'm the one who picked you up, I'll just throw em in with everything else, totally not a big deal. Speaking of which, let's get you into that bath"

Abby helped you strip your clothing, easily lifting you once again to the bath, causing you to mumble out "I have legs y'know."

Abby smiled, setting you down in the bath, "I'm aware grumpy, but I like carrying you, and I didn't feel much protest, so looks like your stuck with me."

Settling down into the bath, the water soothing your aches you stuck your tongue out at Abby, to which she quickly reciprocated before beginning to rid herself of her stained pants. She could feel your eyes on her, drinking in every detail, appreciating her muscular legs covered by her boxers.

"You keep staring like that there's gonna be more than a lil' stain on those sheets" You blushed at her comment, quickly hiding your face in your hands, even though you were sitting in the bath. Abby smirked at your reaction, quite pleased with herself that she could still do that to you even after years together.

She walked over to you, bending down to give you a loving kiss on your lips, pulling away before you could pull her back into you.

"I'm gonna go throw this stuff in the wash, I'll be back to check on you in a bit"

You gave a small nod, watching her leave the room and close the door behind her to trap the heat in, you sunk back down into the bath, focusing on how the warm water slowly soothed your cramps, helping your aching muscles. You closed your eyes, letting the time pass by as you drifted in and out of consciousness.

You were snapped out of your daze by a small knock on the door, followed by the creak the old door made as it opened.

"hey sweet girl, the water is probably getting a bit cold now yeah? You ready to get out?"

Not that you had really noticed, but now that you were activley thinking about it the water was getting colder.

"yeah I think I'm ready to get out, my stomache is starting to hurt again"

"alright you pull the drain for me, do you want some help out?"

A small silent nod was all you could muster

Abby gave you a sympathetic smile, knowing how easily embarrassed you got, and not the biggest fan of asking if asking for help unless it was absolutely necessary. She slowly helped you out of the bath, wrapping you in a fresh towel.

Giving a small peck on your head she left you to continue drying off, disappearing once again into your room.

She came back with a set of comfy clothes and a washed period cup that Maria had gifted to you and many others. Setting them down on the counter she looked back to you as you started to towel dry your hair.

"You want help changing as well? or do you want me to come check on you in a few minutes?" Abby said

"I think I'll be okay to do it myself, thank you abs. love you"

" 'course baby, anything for you. I'll come make sure you aren't dead in a few minutes alright? I love you too."

A few minutes had passed and just as Abby was getting up to come check on you, the bathroom door opened to reveal you in one of abbys oversized t-shirts and a pair of your own comfy underwear, her shirt practically looked like a dress on you so you didn't mind the lack of pants.

"Hi beautiful, you wanna come lay down?" abby asked as she pat your side of the bed next to her, the sheets changed and abbys attempt at making the bed.

"ugh please do not call me that right now. Im barley passing as human at the moment"

Abby snorts at your comment. "oh no! should we take you to get tested for cordycepts?!! If you go down I'm coming with your ass, you arent getting rid of me that easily"

Her comment causes you to let out a small laugh "haha very funny. I forgot to do the dishes last night and i need to finish them, so ill come lay down after."

You turn around to walk out of the room before baby could start protesting. You genuinely thought you had gotten aways with it too, reaching the top of the stairs before being tugged back into the solid chest you knew by heart.

"in what world do you think I'm going to let my ovulating girlfriend go do house chores when she almost collapsed earlier from her own cramps" Abby eyed you down as you tried to avoid her gaze.

She bent down a bit before tapping the back of your thighs, signaling you to jump. "Cmon sugar, no getting out of this one, lemme take care of you like you deserve."

You huffed, but jumped up regardless, Abby walking the both of you back to your room.

Abby set you down gently on your shared bed, situating the blankets over you til you were comfortable.

"Thank you for taking care of me" you smiled up at her

"always" abby returned the smile, leaning down to give you a kiss on the lips.

"Will you come cuddle and hold my stomach please"

"course i will. you want something to eat first though?"

"not right now, i think itll only upset my stomach more. maybe we could make soup together for dinner"

Abby slid in the bed behind you, her warm arm coming around your lower abdomen "That sounds great baby"

you hummed in content at her comforting embrace, letting out a deep breath as her warm hand helped soothe you cramps. "will you read to me? please?"

"you want me to read one of my medical books to you?"

"I dont care what you read as long as I get to listen to your voice"

"yeah I'll read to you"

[clottedscream]

freshman psych major in your gen-ed media studies class who seems normal until she won’t stop writing essays about patrick bateman

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

epilogue: our love is going gold

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)

warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!

also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari

a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!

as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr

i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!

** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **

first of many

After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.

The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar. 

Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.

“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”

“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”

You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”

“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch. 

He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.

Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”

Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.

“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”

“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”

Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.

Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.

Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”

Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.

“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.

Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.

“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”

Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.

“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.

“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.

“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.

“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”

“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”

And the two of you really couldn’t wait.

Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.

“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”

To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.

Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”

You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.

Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.

“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.

“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”

Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”

A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”

“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”

Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.

On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family. 

Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.

Mi amor,

Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.

You make me a better man.

Te amo, mi media naranja.

J

You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.

Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.

Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs. 

Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.

Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.

His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.

“Hey, Mari.”

“Hi, J.”

Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.

“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.

“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.

Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.

The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.

“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”

Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”

Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.

“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.

“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run.  Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”

Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.

“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.

Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”

Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself. 

“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”

The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”

“Absolutely I do. No question.”

Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”

“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.” 

Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”

Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”

A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”

“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.

“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”

With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening. 

The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.

Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”

“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.” 

You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.

Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.

The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.

“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”

Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.

Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.

In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”

At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.

Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”

“Damn right, we did, Miller.”

The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.

More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel’s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.

You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.

At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.

The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”

Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.

After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”

“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”

“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”

“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.

“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”

He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”

second nature

“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.

“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”

A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.

Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.

“I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”

“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.

“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.” 

A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.

“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?” 

An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.

“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”

Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”

“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.

“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”

The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”

“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”

“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.

“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”

“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.

“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”

“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.

“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”

He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.

“God, you’re such a dork.”

The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.

Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.

A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.

Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.

When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”

And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.

What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away. 

He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads. 

Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”

It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.

“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”

“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.

The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.

Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”

Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.

“Hi, Posey!”

She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”

After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.

Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.

“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”

“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”

Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.

“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.

“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.

“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.

“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”

Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.

“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.

“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”

That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.

“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.

“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.

“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.

“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”

“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.

Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”

“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.

“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.

She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”

“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”

Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”

Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”

“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”

“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.

“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”

third time lucky

Negative.

A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.

To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.

Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.

“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.

A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.

Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?

Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.

Negative.

His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?

Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.

Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.

You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.

It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.

Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?

Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.

Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.

“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”

He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.

Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.

Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?

“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.

Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.

“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.

Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”

His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.” 

Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.

Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”

Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”

“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”

“Okay, yeah. One more go.”

Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.

You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.

Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.

 “Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.

“In the bedroom, J!”

Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”

A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.

“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.

“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.

“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.

“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.

“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.

He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.

“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.” 

He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.

“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most. 

Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.

“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”

Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.

Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.

“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”

His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.

“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat. 

Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.

“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”

A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.

“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”

Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”

“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.

Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.

“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”

Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.

“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”

“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.

Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”

“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both. 

Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.

The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.

“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”

His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.

Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.

“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”

“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.

“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

“A daddy!”

“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.

“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.

“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon. 

A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.

“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.” 

The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.

Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.

“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.

“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”

The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.

“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”

“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”

He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”

Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.

The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.

Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.

“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.

A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”

His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.

“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.

The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”

His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.

“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”

“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.

Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.

Positive.

Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.

“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”

Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.

“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”

“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”

Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”

“I love you too, J.”

“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.

“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.

“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.

“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”

“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.

“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.

“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.

“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.

“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”

“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.

The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.

Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.

And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.

Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.

So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.

The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.

In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”

You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.

“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.

“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.

You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.

“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.

Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”

“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”

“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”

June 21st, 2009.

The first day of summer.

It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.

“You got this, Mari.”

“So strong, baby. You can do it.”

“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”

The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.

Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.

“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord. 

She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.

The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.

A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”

You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”

Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”

“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”

A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.

Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”

Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.

“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”

“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”

You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better. 

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes

[lilsedge]

hi, can you please write about reader being in a triple threat match for the RAW womens title and starts to doubt herself with damian

Doubts

Damian priest x Reader

Warnings:

Y/N has a triple threat match for a shot at Bianca’s title. The match is against Asuka and Bayley. Whoever wins gets to fight Bianca next Monday. 

She’s currently getting her ring outfit on when there’s a knock at her door. She opens it, “Oh hey Damian.”

“Hey,” Damian replies, “Are you ready for that match?”

“I think so,” Y/N replies, hesitating.

She’s currently trying to find the proper socks to wear with her boots. Clothes are being flung everywhere. Damian was dodging the clothes that were being flung at him. 

“Woah okay,” he starts off, “let me find the socks while you finish your makeup.”

Y/N nods, sighing. She sits down and starts her makeup. Halfway done with her makeup, she suddenly stops and puts the stuff down. Damian turns around after finding the socks and notices she is just staring off into space a bit. 

“Hey buddy, are you doing okay?” He questions.

Y/N replies with a small, “yeah”

“Are you doubting yourself?” He asks.

“How can you tell?” Y/N murmurs.

“Well, I mean, I’ve known you for a very long time. We are also dating.” He starts listing off.

Y/N puts her hand over Damian’s mouth to stop him from going on, as the list could go on forever.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” he says, “but you have to stop doubting yourself.”

“Why?” Y/N questions.

“If you keep doubting yourself, you’re not gonna do your best out there,” Damian informs her. 

“Amor, you’re the most talented, hardworking, and strongest woman I know on the roster right now,” Damian whispers as he brings her in for a hug.

“I know I can do it, but it’s just because it’s for a title shot that’s why I’m having doubts,” the shorter girl admits.

Damian sighs, “you can do it. I know you can. Now let’s get the makeup finished and when you’re done, I can help lace up the boots.”

Y/N sits down and does the finishing touches on her makeup look. After she’s done with that, Damian turns her chair around. Picks up her socks and puts them on for her. 

“Where are your boots?” he questions.

“Um, in the bag by my suitcase,” she replies while pointing to it.

He gets up and grabs the boots out of the bag. Noticing they have his initials at the heel of them. His smile gets big as he walks back to Y/N, “What’s this?”

Y/N cheeks get red, “You’re my good luck charm.”

“How cute, mariposa,” Damian replies.

Y/N is as red as a tomato. Damian laughs when he sees how red she is. After lacing up her boots, he gives her a kiss on the cheek. Damian grabs her hand to help her off the chair, letting her walk around seeing if he put the boots on right.

Y/N starts her stretching and breathing exercises. Thinking that would help with her doubts, but it didn’t work. There is a tiny voice telling her she wasn’t going to succeed. 

Damian leads her to the gorilla. When they make it to the gorilla, he gives her a hug.

“Mariposa, I know you’re doubting yourself still,” He states, “Just know you’re going to kick ass out there. You’ve got me and the Judgement Day supporting you.”

He gives her a kiss on the forehead, then leaves to stand with his group. Y/N starts to shake her hands out when her music starts to play. 

End of the match

Y/N performs a frog splash on Bayley, pinning her.

1..

2..

3..

“And the winner is Y/R/N,” (your ring name)

She’s done it. She has won and gets her title shot next Monday facing Bianca Belair.

[vanderlesbian]

javier as a girl dad too?🫶🏼

EEK my first request hai...... >_< of course i can write javier as a girl dad :3

** other rdr2 men as girl dads can be found here!!

masterlist

javier escuella

- javier would be so proud to be a father!! his daughter would be his pride and joy and he would do anything to protect her. the other members of the gang know not to mess with him or his daughter, especially after micah made a cruel comment that earned him a near broken nose and a week's worth of snarky comments from the entire gang.

- definitely speaks to his daughter in spanish; he would love teaching her the language. when he hears her babble her first words in spanish, javier will have the biggest smile on his face. he'll probably tell the others about it for at least a few days, too.

- he would sing her songs!! when she's little and comes to him woken up from a nightmare, javier will pick up his guitar and play her favorite song. oftentimes his singing will gather more of an audience, and other members will stick around to listen to the lullabies.

- on the topic of singing songs for his daughter, i think javier would write his own for her, too. whether or not he's the best lyricist, his song will be loved by his daughter regardless. as she grows older, javier would teach her how to play guitar, and she would request to learn how to play that song he made for her when she was little.

- ohhh he would have a spanish nickname for her. mariposa, chiquita, luna, flor—something cute that would stick with her for the rest of her life. as she gets older, she'd get a little embarrassed by it, but javier would be insistent on keeping the nicknames.

- javier would be such a playful dad! he wouldn't be hesitant to play any games with his daughter that others might call "too feminine"; if his daughter wants to have a tea party, he'll put his entire soul into his posh accent. javier will always make time to play with his daughter, and if he happens to be too busy, he'll promise her to play later and will keep that promise.

- javier's daughter would be an energetic and playful girl who's probably very flamboyant. she would be a real daddy's girl and the best thing that has ever happened to javier (aside from you, of course). i think she would also get some of her confident snarkiness from her dad too lol

[a-cloud-for-dreams]

Positivity Chain!

Please recommend 3 favorite fanfics by other creators and 1 of your own.

Then tag 5 other creators to do the same.

AWW ANON THIS IS SO FUN!! Soo disclaimer, I'm really bad at coming up with "favorites" of anything and I need to catch up on a lot of fics in the fandom, so some of these are gonna be old I'm sorry! With that out of the way, both of these lists are in no particular order:

Choices

Of Cloudless Climes and Starry Skies by @thosehallowedhalls (Obsessed with this in a not normal way it's not just the Bas stan in me I live for the way you gave him more depth)

My Love Mine all Mine by @moominofthevalley (I know it's a drabble but I really really like it it's so comforting)

A meeting in Wyoming by @ladylamrian (reading this heals my soul)

All of the Aerin x MC fics @malthemagnifisent writes (they're AMAZING I love the way you write their dynamic)

Mariposa, A Dance With the Devil, Valentine, and Burgandy are four of my favorites by @jamespotterthefirst (your fics were some of the first Choices fanfic I read I remember spending an entire afternoon scouring your blog for Ethan x Lilac content lol)

Hide and Seek on Ao3 fueled my Kenna and Raydan obsession

I swear I can count these are just the first ones that came to mind since I think about them a lot 😭

(One of My Own) Personal Favorite Fics: Here For You

Romance Club

Crave/Ours by @agattthaa makes me feel every range of human emotion and Remy didn't even make Radha an LI (real intellectuals know that she is an LI at heart)

Snaring the Spymaster by @reneedenoailles (no explanation necessary reading this had me like 😶 it's *chef's kiss*)

Between The Dusk And The Dawn on Ao3 (I read it because Arina herself actually commented on Reddit saying she liked the fic and I'm inclined to agree!)

Personal Favorite Fic: Nobody who knows me should be surprised by this but fire on fire! It's one of the two RC fics I've written and I plan to write more! Next up is W:TC and SOTCN <3

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this! I already tagged a lot of people here so if y'all would like to, feel free to, no pressure ofc

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi Berry!! Here I am once again for the matchup event (I always love the choices you give me aaa) and I'm very interested in a matchup with a One Piece character as he's becoming my new addiction (I'm currently still on the episode 145, and you can choose anyone, since I love them all until the episode I left off!)!!

Name: Maria.

Pronouns: she/her.

Sexuality: Straight.

Zodiac Sign: Pisces.

Personality: I am shy, intelligent, kind, homely, perfectionist, timid, nerdy, curious, introverted, playful, mature, friendly, listener, sarcastic, talkative, imaginative and creative.

Likes: Animals, watching movies or series, playing video games, listening to music, watching anime and cartoons, reading books (especially a good novel), staying at home, drawing, cooking, writing and talking to my friends.

Dislikes: Mariposa, noisy people, going to parties with loud music and lots of people, introducing myself to a group of strangers, exams, people who want to force contact with me, when they force me to do something I really don't want to do and when a friend He doesn't listen to my advice and then arrives when everything goes wrong.

How I introduce myself: Well, with strangers I'm a completely shy person, and I end up frowning without meaning to. With my friends I'm a very talkative person, I make jokes with them and I'm generally the mother of the group. With my family I am more open, extroverted and talkative, especially with my mother as I don't have much contact with my father as we live in different cities.

Musical taste: I like all types of music, but what I like most is pop music (like Coldplay, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Katy Perry...) and classical music.

My type/what I want: Lately I've been changing a little about what I like. I used to like guys who were a little more closed off, but today I prefer someone who is very open to their feelings and who shows me that they love me! And also always be by my side and give me advice, just like I would with him.

And my love language is physical touch, I really like hugging the person I love despite being embarrassed and giving them lots of kisses!!!

Thank you very much! Please drink water and take care of your health!! Kisses Berry, I love you ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

notes - HI LOVE! When you sent this in, I knew exactly who to pair you with! Super happy to hear you're into one piece, it's such a good anime omg. Thanks for sending this in! I hope you enjoy the matchup and also stay hydrated <3

the character I match you up with is...

like it fits a ton!

you want a guy who shows you his love, this is your man!

he will stay by your side and not only listen to your advice but also give some to you if you need it

also, he is always got goo goo eyes with you, but he's not so over the top anymore, it's more of a happy medium lol

like of course he loves you to death, but no nosebleeds right when you walk in a room, you know?

he didn't mind that you were shy, and let you open up to him at your own pace and that was surprisingly fast, and he loves how open you are around him

he would cook with you and ADORES your food

he loves that you're such an independent person who knows what she wants and cannot stop smiling at you whenever he sees you omg

y'all would totally have picnic dates and listen to music while cuddling on the grass for sure

~~~~~

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[goodboyaudios]

A while back I remember posting somewhere about an idea for a Fallout Movie.

The Working Title was "Harold: A Fallout movie"

This idea was that it would follow ya boy Harold from Fallout 1 as he exits his vault for the first time, becomes a trader, fights a deathclaw AND teams up with Richard Grey to discover the origin of the Super Mutant attacks.

(Richard Grey for those who don't know is the man who would become the most iconic big bad of the Fallout franchise next to Frank Horrigan)

Harold becomes a special kind of ghoul that is slowly turning into a tree after the incident at Mariposa and also goes homeless in the Hub when he meets the player character from Vault 13. There is a canon story for this player character so it wouldn't be hard to write him.

After this, we follow Harold's journey as the plant in him grows from the top of his head starts bearing fruit, (following the canon events of Fallout 1)

The plan, eventually is to talk about his journey after fallout 2, traveling east where his feat are eventually rooted by this ever-growing plant within him which happens to be in the capital wasteland at the time of Fallout 3! He's found by some people who realize he's bringing nature back to the barren capital wastes and they worship him as a god, becoming his cult.

He is eventually found by the PC of Fallout 3, the Lone Wanderer, where the movie ends open ended as we never truly got a canon ending to what the Lone Wanderer did upon the encounter.

I know this movie will never happen and it's a far from perfect concept, but honestly, I don't think there is a character more defining of the fallout franchise than Harold besides Dogmeat.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: February 13

Zero writing done, but I’m getting through my gigantic read list! 

Here’s what I enjoyed this week!!!

🪐 = Year of Themed Creations work!

.

PERO TOVAR

First Kiss by @hopeamarsu 🪐 Holy BALLS was I left breathless and yearning with this one. I think I’m still recovering. What I wouldn’t give to make Pero stop for a hot second and realize what a kiss means to him. To not let me go. To want more. 

The Herbalist: Part 3: Appearances Can Be Correct  and Part 4: Sticking Your Nose In by @blueeyesatnight A wild Pero appears (proceeded by odor and followed by cussing) just as reader is described as “a lady.” You think he cares? These two couldn’t be less likely or suited to enjoy each other’s company...and I can’t wait for them to crave it.

Love and Red by @chaoticgeminate This is actually a fanwork of leslie-lyman’s Stranger At My Gate. Readers of that story will recognize the Walsh family members, as well as Pero and Tess and their red string. It’s wonderful to look at a fan paring from an outsider’s POV while inside the story itself!

In the Belly by @grogusmum 🪐 Hazel’s Hedgewitch and Mercenary are preparing to reap the fruits of their Beltane tumbles. Since his Mariposa is supposed to be resting, it’s up to Pero to get the Imbolc ritual right. After being put through a quiet test, he’s about to get what he deserves!!!

Whatever Comes Our Way by @writeforfandoms  Okay, come on now. Jen’s modern!Pero is one of my happy places because he’s such a toddler of a man. Pouts, grumps, refuses to give into force. But his defenses can be eroded by the funniest things...in this case, a ferret. Watching Pero bond with a ferret is... *giggles* delightful.

.

JOEL MILLER

The First You by @yelena-bellova I love this meditation on Joel through the eyes of his Tess-like companion, sleuthing out little gestures and behaviors that point to an inner Joel, someone with passions and preferences he’d rather not let anyone be privy to. Which is a shame...because he’d benefit so much from the love. Beautiful and aching.

I Lied by @flightlessangelwings 🪐 When Joel gets protective, he gets protective. And when you belong to him, he’s not gonna let anyone else have you. Swoon.

Saying I Love You After A Fight by @songsformonkeys 🪐 Hanna’s going for my heart this year in all the different ways one can say I love you, and she’s already making me yearn on this first one. The way the reader and Joel trust and know each other--know how they argue, the sound of sleep vs. laying awake, the words that are unspoken and those that are... It’s just a beautiful quiet moment of making up in the quiet way Joel has, and I’m here for it.

Home by @radiowallet  Cat revisits the moment when Tess denied that she had a home with Joel and how it affects him. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful like all of Cat’s writing, but that last line goes for the throat and the pain is so exquisite that I’ll gladly just lie here staring at the ceiling and letting it bleed out....

Getting Lost is Being Found by @littlemisspascal  This is an absolute stunner. Dark AU, hellhound!Joel, alpha/omega dynamics. Sometimes I feel like Rae is the good witch of this fandom, peering through her cabinet of ingredients and skillfully poitioning the most amazing fics from them. Her writing in this one is particularly beautiful, her descriptions and worldbuilding just gorgeous. This is one of those fics that takes me out of time and places me somewhere else for a while. Perfection.

Anywhere But Here by @prolix-yuy A bleak and beautiful examination of Joel and Tess’s relationship from Tess’s POV, from a supposed meeting right up until the greatest thing she’s ever done. LJ’s writing is absolutely gorgeous as usual, and she really knows how to make it sing while it stings.

Men Who Are Fighting To Be Warm: The NSFW ABC’s of Joel Miller by @something-tofightfor  Listen. When Rachael writes Joel, she writes JOEL. And even if this is a headcanon format, you’re going to get in deep to Joel’s head and learn about him beyond the bedroom. The man has stories from so many lifetimes--from Texas, Boston, Jackson...he’s got his triggers and his traumas, but it’s nice to see him on the road to having the semblance of a quiet and loving life.

SPECIAL GUEST CORNER: THE LAST OF US EDITION ELLIE AND SAM

Not A Monster, Not Alone by @beecastle  Bee wrote us a fix-it fic for Sam and Ellie. And it’s so bright and wonderful that it just breaks my heart all the more...

.

OBERYN MARTELL

Does Your Mother Know? by @simpingcowboy 🪐 I’m in love with the ABBA theme. I’m in love with this version of Oberyn. And I’m in love with how he toys with her and leaves her wanting more. I’m not an age-gap kinda girl, but I adore Oberyn’s way of saying something shocking as if it was not taboo at all. Because, to Oberyn, little is taboo. But even he has his limits.

Sweet Reds and Starlight Mornings by @lowlights No joke, when Oberyn’s told to make a mess, he’s going to enjoy making that mess. And there’s no mess like a honey and fluids mess. What a fantastic birfday gift. Lap. It. Up.

.

MR. BEN

What The Hell Are Fancams? by @musings-of-a-rose I’m kind of still reeling from this. I usually stick to reader fic or OC (this one’s first-person narrator) so nearly took a hall pass...and I’m so so SO glad I didn’t. I love the narrator a lot and her student Chelsea is a little mischievous queen. (Can we talk about her mutual student crush and how adorable they are???) This is just wall-to-wall mutual crush at first site and holy balls this is so fluffy and cute and my heart was just fluttering all the way through it and pulling for them the whole time. Srsly. NO. CRUMBS. LEFT.

.

EZRA

Glory by @insomniamamma 🪐 I never want J to stop writing for Ez and Prickle. And since she so cleverly writes their story out of order in moments and assignments, expertly weaving in just the things you need to know in order to follow that particular installment, you can read any of them as standalone or read them as they come up, as if you’re getting scattered stories of a life lived, as many life stories are told. This one isn’t of just one instance but many, of how love looks and acts with Ezra at the wheel. And forgive me if I disappear after this one as I have melted and am slowly seeping into my couch cushions...

.

JACK DANIELS

Spare Parts by @haylzcyon  I am in love with the balls on this reader character. How she knows when she’s not wanted and leaves without a fuss. How she speaks her mind. How she tells her man exactly what’s on her mind. And, of course, how she puts him in his place--secure in her heart and bed. <3

.

MARCUS MORENO

YSC: Heartbeat by @deadhumourist 🪐 This fic gave me emotions that I don’t really know how to define. For her first Year of Science Fiction installment, Ani takes Marcus and gives him a new heart. Which sounds lovely and poetic. Until you realize this is sci-fi. And then things point toward the darker side. 

.

[mariposa-drowned]

Abby x injured!reader fluff 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Hello lovely! Thank you so much for being my first request! I'm sorry this took so long, I struggled with this one for a bit, and it was stuck in my drafts for longer than I'd like to admit. I know this isn't pure fluff, and I apologize for that, but I do have some period comfort/fluff in the works, so hopefully that makes up for this. I did my best to make this gender neutral aswell, so I hope I did okay:)

Warnings- hurt/comfort, small interaction with icky men, smidge of blood, bad and inaccurate medical descriptions, swearing, reader doesn't like taking medicine, that should be it but if I missed any lmk!

--🤍🖤🏹🤍🖤🏹🤍🖤🏹🤍🖤🏹🤍🖤🏹🤍🖤--

It was a pretty normal patrol day, you had been paired with Abby once again, you were convinced she was tugging some sort of strings to get paired up with you whenever you were out. But you werent complaining. Patrol was almost over, you just needed to check an abandoned convience store on the corner and then you could radio back to be picked up.

It seems that the seraphites had a different idea in mind about that. Before you could even register what was going on, you and Abby had been ambushed just as you were exiting the store. Bows and large rusty guns all pointed your way.

"Well, well look what we have here." one of the men on the front horse said. He looked to the others on horses and spoke again "What do you think men? Should we blow their brains out right here? Or have a little fun with these sinners?"

You looked to Abby, trying not to show the fear on your face and ultimatley failing, you reached to your hip for your gun before feeling Abbys hand covering yours, you looked to her with confusion evident on your face as Abby whispered to you.

"We're outnumbered, I radioed for backup when I heard them coming. Just stay calm for a minute." You trusted Abby with your entire life, so you slowly took your hand away from your hip, taking hold of Abbys hand instead.

You were snapped back to reality as one of the men got off his horse "I don't know, I think the little one would be nice, might take her back huh?" a murmur of agreement was heard from the other seraphites.

Abby gripped your hand harder, trying to gaurd you with her large frame.

"Don't fucking touch them."

"Oh protective one eh? I don't think you're in much of a position to have a say in this, do you?"

You heard a low growl come from Abby. You took a quick look around, trying to figure out what was taking the rest of patrol so long to come get you. Once you were distracted, you felt yourself being ripped away from Abby, the movment catching herself so off gaurd that her grip faultered. You let out a small yelp before your back was pressed against one of the men who had gotten of his horse. His hands digging into your wrist and hip where he held you. You could feel his hot breath on your neck trying to think.

Taking a deep breathe, you did what seemed most reasonable at the moment. You lifted your leg up and kicked backwards, hitting your captor right in the nuts. The man groaned, stumbling back as you tried to run forward back to Abby. You were a mere 5 feet away from her when you felt a searing pain in your leg. Dropping to the ground you let out a louder scream this time, the arrow doing deeper into your leg as you fell.

Abby screamed your name, quickly running to you as the men surrounding you started laughing. Their laughter was cut short though as you heard one of the WLF vehicles pull up, gunshots rang around you as bodies fell to the ground, Abby got close to you, sheilding you with her body. You couldnt help but start crying, you could feel the pain crawling up your leg as you tried to curl in closer to Abby, hoping she would take some of the pain away.

Once the gunshots ceased, you looked up with blurry eyes, seeing people rush towards you, medkit in hand. You could see mel come into view, a grimace on her face before she quickly hid it.

"We need to get them on the truck now, they need to go to the medwing, too much blood loss." Mel hurriedly spluttered out.

Abby nodded, she whispered a quick 'I'm sorry baby' before lifting you up bridal style, you yelled out in pain, a string of curses coming from your mouth as she carried you.

Abby laid you down on the truckbed sitting down next to you. Mel sat down by your leg, trying to asses the damage she got out a tourniquet. You looked to her knowing exactly what that was for and how much it would hurt. You tried to shuffle away, Abby quickly slid behind you, holding you still.

"no no no, Mel please, we really don't need to use that"

Mel gave you an apologetic look before starting to slip the tourniquet around your leg just above where the arrow stayed. You kept spluttering out pleas making pathetic attempts at kicking away, it got you nowhere. This was gonna hurt like a bitch. Mel leaned closer to Abby whispering a small "keep her still, it'll hurt worse if she's moving" Abby nodded at the request, still behind you she took both your arms to cross them over your chest, hugging you tight.

"you're alright angel, doin so good baby, so strong. Just need you to try and be still."

You looked up at her in question, still panicking when you felt the tourniquet start tightening. You screamed out, trying to wiggle out of Abby's iron grip despite her soft words.

You were so tired, and in so much pain, eventually your yelling stopped and you went slack in Abby's arms. She felt for your pulse, elevated, but still okay. She figured it was probably best for you to be unconscious right now anyways.

⁠●●●⁠●●●●●●●⁠●●●●●⁠●●●●●●●⁠●●●●●⁠●●●●●●●⁠●

You woke up feeling extremely groggy, like you were living in a cloud of fog. You tried to sit up, assessing your surroundings only to find you were in yours and Abby's shared space in the stadium. You were tucked into the bed, trapped in a cucoon of yours and Abby's blankets. Abby could see movement from the corner of her eye as she was tidying up the small kitchen.

"Hey my love how you feeling?" Abby walked over to you and sat on the edge of the bed, being cautious of your leg.

"Like I got shot with an arrow." You deadpanned, Abby laughed at your response "what happened? I remember passing out in the back of the truck."

Abby sighed "Well, once we got you back to the med-wing they took out the arrowhead but found that those asshole seraphites dipped it in some sort of natural poison found in plant roots. So they had to come up with a concoction of medicine to help your body process it, but they only had so much to spare. Long story short, you've been out for two days and the poison is likey still in your system and will be for the next few weeks. I've been checking on the wound and it does seem to be healing okay. We've both been given a month off and you're allowed to stay here with me as long as I look after you. Mel said she might still come by for checkups just to be safe though"

You kept your gaze on the blankets that surrounded you trying to process the information.

"I'm gonna be okay though right? We can still go out together?"

Abby could hear the tremble in your voice, she knew you were most likley overwelmed with the surge of information and the pain that you were in. She scooched in a bit closer to hold both sides of your head in her hands.

"You will be okay. You will heal overtime and I will help you in any way I can, we will do this together okay?"

You met Abbys eyes, you knew deep down that you would recover, and everything would eventually go back to normal, but you needed that reassurance. You put your hands over Abbys that currently resided on your face, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes focusing on her touch and how her smell had surrounded you, being redressed in one of her big shirts, her blankets mixed with yours all around.

You enjoyed the moment for several minutes before a sharp stinging pain radiated throughout your leg. Your face twisting into a grimace, Abby took notice of your expression and quickly pulled away from you, muttering under her breath 'be right back baby' you sat there as Abby went to go retrieve whatever. Taking a fistful of the blankets into your hand as you slunk down on the bed into a laying position you could feel the pain getting higher up your leg, letting out a small whimper in response. When she said that there would still be lingering poison she was not kidding at all.

Abbys footsteps neared the bed as she helped you back into a sitting position, her face contorting as she heard your small cries as the pain intesified, she placed her items on the side table and quickly positioned her frame behind yours.

"okay i have something here to help but its gonna taste like shit and burn like bad alcohol goin down okay?" You let out a small sob, Abby shushing you before speaking again "I know angel but it'll help lessen the pain, I have water right here for you afterwards, just need you to take one big gulp of it and you'll be all done." she held up a small bottle to your lips, you tried to take in a deep breathe to prepare yourself for the awful taste, but you would do whatever to stop the nausiating sensation in your leg.

You opened your mouth, Abby taking it as her signal to bring the bottle to your lips. You had to hold back a gag as you tasted the revolting medicine of sorts, squeezing your eyes shut you managed a full swallow before pushing back into Abby signaling yo her you were done. You reached around, searching for the water she had mentioned, wanting to rid the taste from your mouth.

Abby replaced the small bottle with a glass of water, bringing it to your lips and whispering soft praises into the air. You finished the whole glass noticing the pain in your leg had lowered back to a tolerable amount already.

"what the hell was that sin of a drink" Abby laughed at your comment, wrapping her arms around your torso

"Something that Mel and a few others downstairs put together as a morphine like substitute, but it has to be ingested orally unlike morphine which would require an IV. Does it feel any better?"

"I dont feel like tearing my leg off anymore so I guess so. Just aches on my upper leg now, I think I just wanna try and go back to sleep." you yawned through your last statement only proving your point more.

Abbys hand lowered down towards your injured leg as she started softly kneading the fat there trying to soothe the ache you mentioned "I'm fine with you going back to sleep but I need you to eat something first."

You whined at both the mention of eating something right after that horrible "medicine" and from the relief of Abbys hand on your thigh. Before you could protest Abby had shoved a protien bar in your hand. "Just this and I'll massage you til' you fall asleep"

You took the bar with a small grumble, knowing that her hand was currently working magic for your injured leg and you would probably start crying if she stopped. You quickly chomped it down, hearing a hum of approval from Abby. She repositioned you so you were laying on your good side leg, as she remained behind you. Her hands contined to rub on your leg, the other rested under you on your side, giving small squeezes of reasurance every now and then.

She contined her motions until she heard your breathing even out, your body fully relaxing into her as you slipped off into a dreamless state. Abby let herself doze off aswell after making sure you were okay.

Abby startled awake feeling small movements and whimpers of discomfort coming from you. Often times your dreams were riddled with nightmares but she knew that you were just uncomfortable from your body language. She maneuvered your body so you were laying on the matress flat on your back and started lightly kneading a bit further down your leg, trying to help rid your discomfort.

You settled down after a minute or two, waking Abby up a few more times during the night as she helped readjust your body, ultimately propping your leg up on a few pillows. She didn't know if it was doing much, but judging by how you slipped back into sleep so easily, she figured you were comfy enough.

Giving a final kiss on your forehead, she fell asleep with you, interlacing her hand with yours as she joined you in slumber.

[sagesolsticewrites]

updated poll! 🥳

Thank y’all so so much for your feedback, it’s a huge help to me and i truly appreciate it! If you have any questions or want to know more about these fics/what I’m writing, just ask! I love talking to y’all 💕

(more info about these fics under the cut!)

1.) Glen “Superset” fic: based on this title idea my dear friend Mims @mariposa-mila sent in for my 1 Year Blogaversary Celebration earlier this year!

2.) Returning to my Elvis roots with a Elvis x Dixie two-parter based on some of my favorite Taylor Swift songs (with many hugs to Shawni @austin-butlers-gf for yelling with me about Elvis and the Blue Moon Boys and Taylor ily bestie 💕)

3.) A Steve Harrington x Reader fic based on Taylor Swift’s song Suburban Legends (yes, it’s angsty 👀😈)

4.) if you’d like to see something else, feel free to send me a request! I also have a collection of prompt lists in my pinned post if you’d like some inspo ☺️

[forabeatofadrum]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @wellbelesbian for the tag! Here goes:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

... 162. what the FUCK.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,323,028. WHAT THE FUCK

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well, almost half of those 162 fics are Glee fics. My other two bigger fandoms are Check, Please! and the Simon Snow Series.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Everything will be alright, the only Brooklyn Nine-Nine fic I have ever written.

All shall know the wonder, probably my favourite Check, Please! fic that I've written, so hooray!

The last to know, which was a reaction fic for the end of year 3 of Check, Please!

How lucky we are to be alive right now, which is my first ever Carry On fic and I don't even like it that much anymore, but I guess it's the origin story yada, yada.

The 2020 Young America New Year’s Eve Gala, my sole Red, White & Royal Blue fic. I wrote it in 2020, but thanks to the movie, it got a lot more views and kudos.

I am actually surprised (but also not, I think I have seen this before) that there is no Glee fic in this list. My Glee/Klaine fic with most kudos is the 15th on the list!!! (It's Myosotis sylvatica, by the way.) (My goddamn Love, Victor fic is higher on the list WACK!!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No. I do read all of them, but I always feel super awkward responding. Idk. It's a me problem, I guess. So I only respond when I have something specific to say or if a comment totally blows me away and I want to at least acknowledge that. Although... I am behind on that as well.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. Does Your heart is in your chest again, not hanging from your sleeve count? It's a Next to Normal AU Klaine story, and if you know the musical, you know.

There's also My rose-coloured boy, a pre-Wayward Son Snowbaz fic that shows that Simon is not dealing with shit and it has an unhappy ending, I suppose, but it also fits in canon so does it count, because in canon, the entire Snowbaz story does have a happy end.

OH WAIT A HOT MINUTE THERE IS ALSO MY WIP Dalton 8 Days of Wrath. That fic is supposed to be Sad Shit Only!!!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love writing happy endings, so I am not sure which one is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, luckily.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. I uhhhh have a whole ass essay on why I don't.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I am one of those "how can I Klaine-ify" bitches. The craziest is probably my Glee/Animal Crossing fic Wandering. I don't like it THAT much, but it was fun. I also had a very extensive, not-published Glee/Barbie Mariposa and the Fairy Princess crossover (yeah) once.

And I've been talking for ages about how I will one day write a Glee/Winx Club crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I unfortunately assume that it's happened, since ya know, AO3 scrapers.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I know someone wanted to translate Charms & Pearls into Italian, but I don't know it's happened. @klaineship2 also translated one of my Hearing verse fics into German: Musik nur, wenn sie laut ist. I once read this translation out loud and sent it to my German friend @vreniii and I may have hurt her ears.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Call Me Maybe, my aroace Agatha fic with @captain-aralias and Stage Fright, a Halloween Klaine fic with @spookyklaine, @esperantoauthor, @justgleekout, @snarkyhag, sopheadraws, MissFlurry and keyiqiang.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

(Yes, Alex, I still say OTP.)

Klaine. Look, I will be a Klainer 12 till the day I die. You will catch me crying over Teenage Dream (gcv) at the nursing home.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have... so many WIPs. So. Many. WIPs. I don't want to give up on them yet.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I can write dialogue and that I can be pretty funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Alex, I so feel you on the second hand embarrasment thing with sappy stuff. I also bitch a lot about not being able to write romantic endings. I also have struggles with describing movement.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean. I have done it before, most noteably Paradiso, aap noot mies and Ik was meteen ondersteboven., so I am down for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published? Glee.

When I was a wee child writing stories about other media, Winx Club and Harry Potter, although I never published those.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

OH. Oof. In no order, split by my 3 main fandoms (because I cannot narrow it down!):

For Klaine: Myosotis series (especially part 1 and 5), Mendacious, I’d cry a river just for you, All the pretty things that we could be and Ljubim te.

For Snowbaz: Paradiso series (especially part 1 and 3, rip part 2), Time After Time and make a fire out of this flame.

For Zimbits: All shall know the wonder and Center Ice.

Forgive me for not tagging anyone. I am taking the lazy "everyone is free to do it!" approach because I am tired!!!

[tieronecrush]

hot & heavy

chapter thirteen: hot blood & heavy memories

neighbor!joel x f!reader

series masterlist

series rating: E (18+ MDNI)

series summary:

over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?

word count: 9.4k

warnings: NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is 7 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), feeling familial and self-pressure, established relationship, spanish cause joel is latino, oral (m & f receiving), unprotected p in v, soft joel, possessive joel, struggling with self, discussion of parenting, angst, ARGUING!!!! but petty arguing, and probably more!

a/n: I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. life just hit me with a bunch of shit and writing fell to the wayside but here this is, the penultimate chapter! final one should be coming next week <3 thank you all for the love on this fic! and thank you bestie @northernbluess for beta reading <3 love ya!

Joel turned over this morning, his arm reaching out across the bed only to be met with the feeling of cool sheets against his skin. Sunlight blinded his eyes as he slowly opened them, adjusting to the light flooding in from the pulled curtains. A groan rumbled his sleep-coated voice awake, his ears waiting to hear you from the bathroom, gloating about how you managed to wake up before him.

Nothing ever came. He looked over his shoulder, the door to the bathroom wide open and the bedroom door left opened a crack. Glanced around with no sign of you, a wave of loneliness washed over him.

For a split second, his brain justified it all as a dream. Told himself that when he wakes up — actually wakes up — you’d be sleeping there next to him, curled up under his arms, waking with that smile of yours that blinds him more than the morning light. He’d run his hands along your spine as you elongate in a stretch, your fingers immediately finding his messy curls to push them back into place. It’s what happens every morning that he has with you. This one should have been no different.

But it was, there’s no you to wake up to, already gone from the bed and possibly the entire house, retreated to your space to give you and him some. Floods of memories from late last night came back to the forefront, him standing in the middle of the living room, your face wounded and confused. The thought of hurting you made his skin crawl, but the replay of the words spewed back and forth has ice formed in his chest again, shutting down the part of him who would do anything to make it better. He hates that about him, the part of him that finds himself right in every situation, the part of him that tells his mind that he’s protecting you, your life you’ve built together — he knows it’s for himself.

He knows, in his gut, that he’s scared.

Maybe he should have heard you out more, but fear overcame him — fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of him fucking up the best thing that has happened for him since Sarah was born. 

But he knows he won’t admit that, won’t let doubt back into your relationship. There’s been enough of that, and he wants everything to stay as it was.

He’s not a man of change.

When he descended the stairs, there was a sharp ache in his ribs, pausing on his way down to grab at his side. Body anxious to find out if you had left entirely, the pain a reminder of his craving for you, a physical reaction to being apart.

The sound of your voice traveling from the kitchen to his ears was a relaxing balm, the ache dissipated the more he heard you speak to Sarah, laughing and excitedly discussing the plan for the aquarium.

Eagerness pricked his brain at that; the fact that you were still coming excited him. Maybe things would simply go back to normal today, that everything would be forgotten and he would be able to swallow the fear sitting in his throat.

God, was he wrong.

You woke that morning, Joel’s broad shoulders melted into the mattress and the expanse of his t-shirt-covered back met your eyes. Restless the whole night, never did you wake up to find him facing you, an arm slung over your side, or any movement to be closer. 

Gnawing at you was the thought of simply brushing things under the rug, mending what was broken last night during the argument, and fixing things to make it all better.

If you make things copacetic, then maybe he would feel ready to tell your family faster?

The louder part of you — the one burning inside your gut and boiling your blood when you remember how he dismissed you the night before — told you to keep your mouth shut. That everything will only reach a breaking point if you continue on the path that you two are on. 

Why does he get to decide the timeline of your relationship without any sort of discussion? You deserve the same respect and promise that you give to Joel.

God, what if he really isn’t ready for a future with you? What is holding him back?

You spent an hour laying in bed, fighting yourself back and forth between cleaning everything up between the two of you, agreeing to whatever Joel wanted to simply make it normal so you could enjoy the day, and standing staunch in your anger toward him and keeping your ground, you know that your feelings are valid.

To distract yourself, you slipped out of bed, leaving Joel behind, and wandered downstairs to make some coffee for yourself and breakfast for Sarah. Not long after you got some pancakes started, the sound of tiny, lightweight steps descended the stairs. A mop of curls rounded the corner, Sarah with a bright smile on her face when you greeted each other good morning.

After you served up some pancakes for her, the heavy steps you recognize so well tumbled down the stairs, sending a wave of annoyance to your peaceful morning. You glanced up at Joel when he entered the kitchen, flicking your eyes to Sarah distracted by the book in her hands and the plate in front of her.

Joel approaches you to your side, standing slightly behind to reach over to the cabinet with the mugs in it. As he leaned over, his head turned and moved toward your cheek, lips pursed. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him and swerved out of the way, turning around to make your way over to the table to sit with Sarah.

God, does he think after last night he can waltz in here and try to kiss you good morning without any sort of apology first?

He’s got his head up his ass, clearly.

Coffee poured, Joel shuffled over to the table, sitting across from you with a long sigh. The rest of breakfast is filled with avoiding his attempts at touches, a hand across the surface, legs brushing underneath. Sarah told you both about what happened in her book and after, excitedly made a plan for the aquarium and what animals were must-sees.

Questions from Joel were answered with one word, his own attitude seeping into his voice with clipped answers given back to you. Sarah was none the wiser, or at least didn’t mention it, and you left shortly after your coffee was finished to change and shower at your own place.

The car ride to the aquarium was only filled with conversation that involved the younger Miller, your hands clasped together in your lap, and Joel’s own gripping the steering wheel. Tension in the cab of his truck was palpable between the two of you, thick with defiance for the other person.

If either of you were known as one thing, it was stubborn.

And stubbornness is what has brought the two of you to stand in front of an expansive wall of glass, a rainbow of tropical fish gliding through the deep blue water and coursing around growths of coral and seaweed, a few feet apart with Sarah pressing her hands against the glass and pointing out all of the fish she knows from Finding Nemo.

You hike the strap of your bag up onto your shoulder, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch as Joel shifts his weight back and forth on his feet, his own arms woven together against his chest. Even with quick glances, you can tell his jaw is clenched, his brow furrowed, shoulders taut and tense. With the last look toward him, you catch his stare, emotion unreadable.

His arms move to uncross, his feet shifting his weight forward in a step that seems like it’s coming toward you. In a flashing second, you’re moving away from his step, avoidance at the front of your mind while the glisten of water shines in your field of vision, tunneled around Sarah. You stand behind her, holding onto her shoulder while you listen intently to her spewing off facts about some of the fish.

With a look over your shoulder, Joel is across the room, reading about the coral reef habitat. Pulling your attention again, Sarah moves from under your touch, taking your hand and leading you toward her dad and onto the next. While the three of you are walking together, Sarah links you together holding both of your hands and tugging you toward one of her must-sees, the Beluga whales.

There’s a crowd in front of the smaller viewpoint into the tank, leaving you to stand and wait on the outskirts of the group. Joel’s shoulders slump, a huff of annoyance escaping his mouth as he rolls his head back with a quiet groan. The noises of frustration catch Sarah’s attention away from her attempts to sneak a peek at the adorably social animals.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?” she inquires innocently.

The dramatics make you roll your eyes slightly, reaching a hand out to brush Sarah’s curls back as you say, “Don’t worry about it, Sare Bear, Daddy’s in a grumpy mood today.”

The words taste bitter in your mouth, slicing malice in your voice as you turn to aim the comment toward Joel instead of Sarah. Locking your stare with his deep brown eyes, squinting in challenge to you. His head tilts to the side slightly, and you hold his glare with your own, waiting for his own flay of you.

Joel rolls his eyes, shaking his head slowly before he turns to Sarah, plastering a tight, comforting smile on his face.

“Why are you grumpy, Daddy? You get to see all the cool fish today and sharks and dolphins. It’s fun!” Sarah grins, satisfied with her pitch for him to start having fun.

“I’m alright, mija, and I’m excited to learn about all the animals from you,” Joel explains before he turns his head toward you, “I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed — right, Mari?” 

Fucking smart ass.

You bite your tongue, ignoring the pointed comment, and keep your eyes trained ahead, pointing to an opening where Sarah can sneak in to see the belugas. It leaves you and Joel standing alone again, an opportunity arising for a moment of confrontation for him.

“Is it gonna be like this all day?” he questions, irritation evident in his tone and his body language — hands on his hips, one leg popped out to the side, and a scowl on his face.

“I don’t know, Joel. Why don’t you ask yourself that question? ‘Cause you have your own panties in a twist if I’m hearing you correctly.” You turn away from him, focusing ahead again on the window into the tank, rolling your shoulders back and standing straight.

Mumbling under his breath, Joel relaxes his stance and watches Sarah, “Christ, you’re gettin’ on my nerves.”

That’s rich coming from him. He’s the one with such an attitude, he’s the one who was acting like a child last night, shutting down the conversation so he didn’t have to hear your side and then stomping off when you pressed on.

And now he’s saying that you’re getting on his nerves? For not letting everything be brushed under the rug?

Doubt worms its way into your mind while the three of you continue to explore the aquarium. Space stays physically between you and Joel, the only fleeting touches when you get pushed together in crowds walking around or when Sarah makes the two of you get together for a picture on your camera in front of one of the tanks. No affection is exchanged, only a grudge simmering among you both.

He watches you with Sarah, walking ahead of him with your hand in hers, allowing her to run ahead and leave you behind. The expression on your face turns sour every time he saddles up next to you, alighting the flames of his frustration yet again.

“Can you stop acting like you’re in such a foul mood for fucks sake? We’re at the aquarium, should be enjoyable,” he grumbles to you, clenching his jaw and puffing his chest out.

“I am having a good time, Joel. Maybe you’re projecting your pissy mood onto me.”

Of course, now you’re denying it. He’s spent virtually the last three years with you, and you don’t think that he knows how to read you?

You’re being so unreasonable. Not even giving him a chance to make it up to you — not even letting him greet you this morning and try to make it better.

“My pissy mood? You’re the one who’s avoiding me and can’t even keep the disgust off your face when I stand next to you. And to add to it—”

“Enough.”

The conversation screeches to a halt there when you interrupt him, Sarah walking up with a bright smile on her face. The two of you lead off in another direction, toward the dolphin show with the trainers that you booked in extra for Sarah to see. At the time, it seemed like a great idea, but now, he’s praying that somehow it doesn’t happen so he can get to the end of this day faster.

Shuffling along the entrance path along with the other attendees, Sarah stands in front of you while Joel stands behind. His eyes bore holes in the back of your head, replaying the back and forth from the night before, the sinking feeling of waking up alone.

Are you ever going to give him a chance to talk to you about everything, or are you going to stew until you’re content?

Joel finds a free spot on the stepped seating, seeing over all the heads scrambling to find a spot. He leads the three of you up, centered for an ideal view. The arrangement ends up with Joel in the middle when he lets Sarah into the aisle first, broad-shoulder bumping into you when you sit next to him. You place your bag in your lap, toying with the clasps to keep your hands busy.

In a moment like this, you would normally lean into his side, your warmth blanketing him and you would be giggling with Sarah about something while your hand rests on his thigh or intertwined with his.

There’s a chill in the space you have attempted to create, his side feeling bare with the breeze of AC. He sits, focusing his hardened stare on the pool with trainers showing off the traits and quirks of the animals.

In his right ear, he hears your voice under your breath, “Would it kill you to throw on a smile about the fucking dolphins?”

So that answers his question. You’re going to stew.

Joel works his jaw side to side, a sarcastic smirk donning his face as he directs his words toward you at his side, “I am smiling.”

A laugh cuts through clapping from everyone surrounding you, your hand patting his denim-clad thigh in fake consolation.

“If that’s smiling, you’ve got a bad case of resting bitch face.”

The place on his leg where you touch burns for your hand to press against it again, and he clenched his fist in an attempt to will away the desire.

It’s easier with the anger simmering in his chest, more so at himself rather than you. Yes, you’re getting on his nerves, so fucking much today, but he also wishes he could go back to last night and just hear you out. Even if he didn’t really want to hear about it, it would be better than what he’s ended up in now.

He keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the show, putting a smile on his face when Sarah looks at him, pointing out and repeating everything that happened. It makes you laugh, sharing a grin with Sarah across from you, and the sound quells his annoyance for a moment.

The feeling comes right back in a different way when the show finishes, with everyone funneling down the stairs to get out, the three of you get caught in a jam. Joel huffs a breath out at the lack of spatial awareness from those surrounding him, annoyance rushing to the forefront of his mind yet again. You’re in front of him, gripping Sarah’s shoulders to keep her tethered, and the pressing of everyone all together brings you a mere inches away, Joel’s hand hovering over your waist out of habit.

As the crowd moves again, you direct Sarah to walk forward when a grown man pushes through some of the bodies, colliding with your side and causing you to stumble and nearly topple over Sarah. His hands immediately catch you by your waist, righting you to stand up straight and leave you with Sarah as he follows a few steps in the open wake of the asshole. The same feeling of anger sears in his chest, hurling it toward anyone who deserves it, even wanting to hurl it at himself, for even just a few minutes.

“Hey! Watch it, man! You just ran into my girlfriend and my daughter. Don’t need to be a jerk, everyone is trying to get out at the same place,” his voice carries over everyone, his hand landing on the guy’s shoulder and clamping down, “I think you and me are gonna wait here nicely. Until everyone gets out in front of us, it’s only polite, right?”

His smile is loaded with intimidation, keeping things light enough to keep attention away after the initial confrontation. You and Sarah walk hand in hand, and he hears a whisper from you as you pass, “Thanks.”

Fingers brushing against your back again when you walk away, he waits until the last person is out of the pathway before letting the man go, choice words exchanged with grumbles before Joel goes to find the two of you, standing in front of the nearby penguin exhibit. There’s a staff member at the edge of the habitat, lecturing about the little suit-and-tie animals when he approaches, standing near to you without reaching out again.

You shift anxiously next to him, feeling his stare at the side of your face. Ice-cold gaze stays trained on the aquarium staff talking to the small group gathered, Sarah has made her way to the front to listen intently and peer over the glass wall at the fuzzy younglings waddling around.

“And you know what is such a fun fact about penguins?” the lecturer asks rhetorically, “Penguins have long been upheld as an example of romance in the animal kingdom. When they pair off to breed, those pair bonds can last a lifetime. Just like so many amazing human relationships!”

Ha, of course, this is the spiel that you get stuck listening to with Joel standing right next to you. Out of all the times when you could have visited the aquarium, it happens when the two of you are fighting about exactly that — if it’s going to be for life.

Without a chance to bite your tongue, under your breath, loud enough for Joel to hear, you mutter, “Do you think they tell their parents right away?”

In your periphery, Joel’s head snaps to look directly at you, shoulders tensing, jaw clenching, and head shaking as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, gaping like a fish out of water. Before he can muster any response, the short lecture concludes, the staff member retreating through an ‘Employees Only’ door. Sarah bounds up to you both, grabbing your hands and dragging you to the front to look into the lives of the penguins.

“Look, come look!” Sarah leans against the glass panel, pointing over the top of it. Joel follows her finger to a small cluster of penguins, two adults and one little one, fluffy and grey. Turning over her shoulders to look at both of you one at a time, she giggles quietly and looks back at the animals, sharing her observation, “They’re just like us! Daddy, and then that one’s Posey and the little one is me!”

You’re better at reacting at the moment than he is, nodding along with a genuine smile for Sarah, always genuine when you’re with her, and asking her questions pertaining to all that she knows about penguins to shift the subject.

But Joel is stuck there, staring at the trio on the ice. They huddle together before one of the adult ones, the shorter one, the one that’s supposed to be you, waddles away to the edge and dives in. The little one eagerly trails after her, following suit while the larger adult, the one that is meant to be him — the father — waits for the pair to be together safely before he jumps in to join them.

A unit of three.

That’s what he’s got. What he wants. What he had?

Sarah’s observation replays in his mind, the reminder to him that it’s not only about him in all of this. 

The two of you may be the ones fighting, maybe the ones attempting to stick it out over the other to avoid talking about everything and win, but it’s Sarah who has to watch it all happen. She’s already seen this when he was with Tiff, when she was a baby, but if it’s the same behavior of arguing and ignoring until someone caves, she’s definitely going to remember it now.

And she loves you so much. He couldn’t take being the reason she experiences more loss in her life. He saw what you leaving at the end of each summer did to her, and now, when you’ve been woven into their lives completely, how would she understand that ending?

He has to start thinking about her again, to put her needs first. And she needs someone like you in her life, even if this all ends with you not wanting to be in his.

Those thoughts consumed his mind for the rest of the day, continuing to give you your space, but at this point, it was because he was lingering back in slow steps while he thought back on this last summer with you, how it was the happiest he’s been, well, ever, and that it’s been the happiest he’s seen Sarah in a long time.

And no matter how you slice it, it all comes back to you.

Words sit in his throat when his truck pulls into his driveway in the evening. He climbs out to open Sarah’s door for her and tells her to run ahead inside. Rounding the car to where you’re standing at the passenger door, he sticks his hands in his front pockets, scuffing his boot across the concrete surface as he attempts to find what he needs to say.

Before he can speak, you do, exhaustion heavy in your tone, “I’m going to stay at home tonight. I think…Maybe we just need tonight to get some space after all that happened today.”

“Oh, um, yeah. Understood.” He nods curtly and turns away to walk to the front door, looking back and meeting your eyes as you do the same from his lawn.

“Um, would you say goodnight to Sarah for me, please?”

“Yeah, I’ll tell her, Mari ba—Night.” Joel watches as you turn around again, not looking back a second time while you traipse across to your lawn, wandering around the side to go to your own door. You disappear as you round the corner of your house, and at the last sliver of you waning from view, a dull pain aches in his chest.

Pressing a palm against his shirt, he drags himself inside and closes the front door behind him, turning to the sound when he hears Sarah’s voice before he sees her curls bouncing as she peers around from the staircase.

“Where’s Posey?”

“Oh, she’s gonna sleep at home tonight, Bug.”

Tossing his keys on the table, he turns back to his daughter and sees defeat wash over her face.

“Did Posey not have fun at the aquarium today?” Her voice is small when she asks, and the timidness hits the ache in Joel’s chest even harder.

He stammers out an answer, quick to explain away, “No, no, mija, of course, she had fun.”

Reaching a hand out to brush her hair away from her face, he bends down to be eye level with her standing a few steps up from the ground.

“I was worried. Especially cause she doesn’t usually go home right away, like, she stays with you, Daddy, and I thought maybe she wanted to go home cause she didn’t have fun and I feel like it would be ‘cause of me ‘cause I made her go with us cause I wanted her to go.”

Guilt draws acidic bile into his throat, drawing a sigh from his lips that he keeps quiet.

Of course, she isn’t stupid. She’s the smartest kid he knows, and he should have known that she would think something was going on. But her blaming herself is eating him alive, if he could only explain away everything to comfort her.

“Don’t you worry, Bug, Mari had tons of fun. She was jus’ tired after such a big day, y’know? I know she loved coming to the aquarium with you. She really likes spending time with you, mija.”

“I love having Posey around. She’s so cool, and she loves to hear about all my animal facts and all about my books. I love her!” Sarah beams, and Joel returns her smile with a tight grin, nodding as he comes to an agreement with one thing.

“I love her too, Bug.”

Sticky humidity is still thick in the air hours after the sun’s gone down. A spitting of stars litter the deep midnight blue sky. Moonlight and the warm, low glow of the back porch lights ripple across the surface of the pool water, blurring in your eyes as your stare unfocuses. Deep in thought and tunnel-visioned on the water, you don’t hear anything around you.

“What the hell are you staring at?”

The sound makes you jump, eyes focusing again with a few rapid blinks and heart rate pumping when you turn toward the side that the voice came from. Your brother, Chris, stares at you with an eyebrow raised and mouth tilted in confusion. A shake of your head grounds you fully, feeling the woven plastic material of the lounge chair against the skin of your legs exposed from your shorts. Seconds tick on with empty air hanging between the two of you, finally breaking through the noise in your head to answer him.

“Nothing, nothing. I was just staring.” You shrug and bend your knees to tuck your legs against your chest, swatting away a mosquito swarming around you.

“Okay…If you were starin’ at nothing, then you must’ve been thinkin’ about something. Or have you totally gone brain-dead?” Chris smirks as you laugh dryly at his poke, turning to the side when he takes a seat on the chair next to you.

Sometimes you hate how well he can read you. Why can’t he be the aloof and uncaring brother you always see on TV and in movies?

“Not brain-dead. Wish I could turn it off for a bit.”

“Well, can’t help you do that. But if it helps to unload any of the shit going on in there—” he gestures in circles around his head with one hand, “I’m happy to listen, sis.”

Something in the invitation, the open door that Chris has given you, parts the floodgates. Before you can second-guess it or overthink it, you’re spilling it all to your brother sitting across from you; the words continue, and it brings about that swirling mix of excitement and anxiety that stirs to life in your gut.

What is Joel going to say when he finds out you said something to Chris? What if this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

But it feels nice to be able to share — even the ugly stuff from the last two and a half summers, basically the last two and a half years. Part of you, of your life, has been kept secret from those closest to you and now you have finally made the decision, taken it all into your hands, and are saying something. Sharing how much you care, how much you love him. 

A deep breath fills your lungs when nothing has been left unsaid, tears that went unnoticed through your recollection dry in ribbons against your cheeks. Chris sits there silently, his leg bouncing with nerves and eyes staring off as he drinks the information in. Another beat of cicadas chirping blankets the space in sound before he clears his throat and focuses his stare back onto you.

“I, uh, well, I think I knew, or I should say I had a feeling. I mean, not from the very beginning, but that first summer, you were like really sad going back to school and I have never seen you like that. And the only change was Joel being around,” Chris explains, fiddling with his fingers and silence overcomes the small bubble that the two of you created.

His words echo in your ears, replaying over and over until you can’t help but bark out a laugh, covering your mouth to muffle the uncontrollable sound. Tears from laughter wash away the evidence of sadness from minutes before, taking a moment to calm your breaths and wipe away the salty drops.

Shaking your head, a wide and incredulous smile on your face, you stare back at the light on the water and murmur, “God, I wish you could walk over to Joel’s and tell him that. Jus’ to give him a bit of a reality check. The longer we go on, the less slick we are going to become. And everyone, especially Mom and Dad, are gonna realize. I mean, you’re not even that observant and you had a feeling before we even were really together.”

Chris laughs quietly and shrugs nonchalantly, reaching an arm out to nudge you in your seat, “Y’know I would if you really wanted me to.”

You wave the offer off, looking over your shoulder to Joel’s house, the light from his bedroom peeking through the curtains. “Nah, we have to talk it out. I need to tell him all of what’s going on in here.”

Making the same gesture as he did, hand circling your head, Chris stands up and nods curtly. One of his hands finds the top of your head, patting it in the smallest of affections, “My other offer is to kick Joel’s ass if you want me to.”

“Oh, yeah? Think you could take him?”

“I know I could. ‘Specially if he’s being a jackass to my sister.”

Another shake of your head, and the first genuine and gentle smile of the last few days, close the conversation, eyes meeting Chris’s as your mouth ticks up in a soft smile, “Thanks, little brother. Love ya.”

“Any time, older sister…” he moves toward the stairs up to the deck and the sliding door to the main house, turning around halfway to add, “For what it’s worth if y’all can figure this out, I think he’d be lucky to have you. He’d be stupid to not make it work, but I think Joel’s a pretty smart man.”

“I’d like to think so, too.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, mija? Qué paso?” Joel glances in the rearview mirror as he comes to a stoplight. He left the worksite early to pick up Sarah from camp, ready to head home and find something else to occupy his mind until he ends up in bed alone and thinking about you.

Sarah meets his eyes in the reflection from her place in the backseat, grinning and batting her eyelashes, “Can Posey come over tonight? I want to show her the new pattern I learned for friendship bracelets. I think she would be so good at it, and maybe we could make some for each other. Do you think you can ask her to come hang out?”

Joel takes a long inhale before exhaling in a sigh, easing up the brake when the light switches to green. He thinks for a beat, the thought of you not even bothering to answer the message he would send to ask crossing his mind quickly before he dismisses it.

You wouldn’t do that. Not if it’s about Sarah.

You would come, and you would listen all about her day at camp, and you would make bracelets with her and watch whatever new TV show she’s obsessed with, and—

You would just be there. You’ve always been there.

Agreeing to ask, Sarah continues her discussion of what Katie did at camp while they were playing kickball for the rest of the drive home. Once she gets settled and occupied in her bedroom, Joel paces the kitchen, writing, deleting, and rewriting a handful of texts to you.

None of them seem right. And even if they did, there’s not a high chance he’ll be able to bring himself to actually send it.

That logic is why he is finding himself with his cell phone pressed against his ear, dial tones with your number on the screen reverberating against his eardrum.

Fuck, what if you don’t answer and he has to leave a message? He has no idea what to say.

What if you do answer?

His anxious spiraling screeches to a halt when the ringing stops and a shuffle comes over the line before he hears your voice.

“Hello?”

He takes a second too long before he scrambles to return your greeting, his legs carrying him back and forth in front of the kitchen cabinets. “Um, hey, hi, Mariposa.”

“Hi, Joel.”

Your voice curling around his name relaxes his shoulders, a breath of fresh air to hear that again, even if the last time was only just over a day ago.

“Did you…Hold on, sorry—” distantly, he hears you speaking to your nanny kid, catching himself smiling when he hears you being so nurturing.

Once you’re back on the phone, you ask, trailing off as you wait for him to answer, “Did you need something or…?”

“Oh, no. Not need, and not me. Sarah asked me today on the way home from camp if I would ask you to come over to hang out,” he cringes at how he sounds, “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to—”

“I’ll come over. Is after seven alright? I have a late night nannying tonight.”

Joel stops in his path, a warm, oozing feeling spreading inside at the thought of you around again. He keeps his voice as level as possible, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm.

“Seven’s great, Mari. We’ll see you then, I’m sure Sare will be real excited,” he takes a beat before adding, “D’you, would you maybe want to talk after Sarah heads to sleep?”

Your sigh comes through his receiver, deflating his spirit the smallest bit. 

“Yeah, that’s—I think it would be good to talk.”

“Good, good…Um, guess I’ll see you in a few hours then?”

“See you later, Joel.”

The next words hang on the top of his tongue, his brain hesitating for a handful of heart beats before they spill out.

“Love you.”

Dead air crackles in the speaker, and for a moment Joel thinks the call must have dropped.

“Love you too,” you return quietly, a wash of awkwardness coating the interaction before the two of you say your goodbyes again and hang up.

Three friendship bracelets later, and two rerun episodes of Sarah’s latest favorite show, it’s time for Sarah to head to sleep.

“G’head and say goodnight to Mari,” he nods toward you on the couch and Sarah walks over, flopping into your open arms and giggling quietly with you. Wrapping your arms around her in a tight squeeze, you kiss the side of her head and let her go.

“Night, sweet pea. Have a good sleep,” you smile softly at her as she stands up from the couch.

“G’night, Posey. Love you!” Sarah calls back as she runs over to climb upstairs, leaving you on the couch as your eyes find Joel’s in an instant.

You call out your own reply as quick as you can after the initial surprise, “Love you too!”

An involuntary grin spreads across your face, and he matches it, shrugging and opening his mouth as if to say something before he hesitates and follows Sarah up the stairs. Joel walks her up, waiting for her to brush her teeth before she gets into bed. He leans over, brushing back her hair from her face with a gentle smile and kissing her forehead.

“Goodnight, Bug. Dulces sueños (Sweet dreams),” Joel speaks low, reaching up to turn off her bedside lamp.

“Night, Daddy. Is Posey gonna pick me up from camp tomorrow? She hasn’t in a couple of days.”

Joel pauses, swallowing and looking at his daughter curled up in bed. His stomach turns as he has a final thought on everything regarding you. That even if he’s afraid of reality coming and crashing into you both completely, he needs to accept it. That you two can work through it together, but he can’t let you go for his sake and especially Sarah’s sake.

He loves you, so much, and there’s not a future he wants to have without you in it.

He wants you there for all the good days and bad, all the rest of Sarah’s milestones to celebrate with him. Her growing up, getting to high school, her first date, her graduation, her college experience. Everything.

All he wants is to have you around, plain and simple. No matter what comes along with that, he has to be ready for it cause he certainly isn’t ready to lose you.

“I’m not sure yet, mija. I’ll talk to her and tell you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.” Sarah nestles further into her bed, curling the blanket under her chin and closing her eyes. Joel shuts out the lamp, walking to her door and looking back at her falling asleep.

“Te quiero, mija.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

Closing the door quietly, he takes a breath at the top of the stairs, attempting to gather his thoughts. He paces small circles in the hallway, clasping his fingers into a fist and releasing it repeatedly. Tenson builds in his chest as anxiety pumps in his veins, lately it feels as natural as his blood circulating his body. Treads of his even steps leave footprints in the carpet, another deep breath taken before he descends the stairs and walks into the living room again.

Eyes finding you, he combs over your profile, down to your legs curled up underneath you on the sofa, watching whatever sitcom rerun was on. At the sound of his heavy steps, you turn toward him, pressing your lips into a flat line as you shift your position in acknowledgement. Joel’s steps stammer as he searches for a seat — the armchair feels much too far away from you, the pull he feels never dulled throughout your days arguing, and the spot next to you seems too close, not wanting to push the limits of getting you to stay and talk things out. Strangely, he settles on clearing one side of the hefty wooden coffee table, sitting in the empty space to be across from you.

Just close enough, but a comfortable amount of space between.

“Joel, what are you doing?” you ask as you sit up, the slightest hint of a smile on your face. He knows he probably looks ridiculous, all broad shoulders and sturdy legs fitting in the space between the couch and the table.

“Um, I didn’t know where to sit,” he answers honestly, shrugging with a soft chuckle, “The chair seemed too far, and I didn’t think you’d want me right next to you on the couch so…coffee table.”

A genuine giggle slips out of your mouth, your hand reaching up to cover your mouth. A grin lifts one side of his mouth, tension slowly dissolving from his chest, the warmth of the interaction melting the ice between the two of you. A shake of your head and returning your hand to your lap, you take a breath to collect yourself.

“You’re so weird. But I get the logic…” Your nerves show in the way your lacing and unlacing your fingers together, working your bottom lip between your teeth.

“So…” Joel starts, trailing off as he locks his eyes with yours.

“So?” you return, right eyebrow raising in curiosity.

“So, talking.”

“That is what we are doing, yes, Joel. Well, sort of,” you huff out a laugh again, the action lighting up your irises even in the dim, warm lighting.

“Sorry, sorry, I just—I have things I want to say but saying them is proving difficult.” Joel runs his hand over his face, sighing and curling his shoulders into his chest. “First things first, I’m sorry, Mari. I shouldn’t have dismissed you that night, I should have let you say your piece. And then I really shouldn’t have tried to act like nothing happened and then having an attitude with you at the aquarium. If anything, you were completely justified in giving me shit, I deserved it, I deserve all of it and more with the way I ignored your feelings. I’m so sorry, Mariposa.”

Silence falls over the room as he sits up straight, holding his breath as he awaits anything in response from you. Wringing his hands together, he reels in his mind over what you could say, what you could do. 

Will you let him back in or will you just tell him it’s over? Is tonight going to go well, or sort of well, or be the worst night?

Joel is pulled out of his thoughts when your hands stretch across the gap, covering his own and stilling them in their anxious motions. His eyes flick to your face, a knowing look making him slip his hands from each other, turning one over and taking yours in his.

“You can take a deep breath, Joel. I know you’re spiraling about the worst case scenario, but I don’t want that. I promise.” You shoot him a comforting smile and give him a squeeze of his hand. “Thank you, for the apology. I feel like I owe you one too, mostly for the penguin comment…”

Joel laughs when you wince, head shaking back and forth, “That was a good line, darlin’, I won’t accept an apology for that. That was completely justified.”

“Oh my god, shush. Let me finish,” you swat away his response and continue, your hand still in his, “I feel like…What I wanted to tell you that night was that it makes me feel like you don’t want to be a part of my life, when you keep saying you’re not ready to tell my family. I love being in your life, I love Sarah and I love Tommy, as annoying as he is sometimes. And I love you, J. I love you so much, which is why it hurts so much when I have to keep this a secret from the people closest to me. I want them to know you as my Joel, not just neighbor Joel. I feel like all of this is supposed to tell me that maybe you don’t want to like…solidify everything with me. To have the future completely open for us.”

“No, baby, no. I don’t — Fuck, I feel so stupid. I want everything with you, I don’t want a future that doesn’t have you there, at my side or helping me through all the shit that life throws at us. I love you so much, Mari baby. You’re the best thing to come into my life since Sarah was born, and well, didn’t let her go and I’m not lettin’ you go. I just…I get so scared when I think about telling your family. I don’t know what their reactions are gonna be, I want to be exactly who they want for you, but I don’t feel like I can ever be what I think you deserve, so how are they supposed to feel? I guess it’s like we have still a sliver of something that is just ours, and I am terrified of taking that final step and fucking it all up. I can’t disappoint the people who love you, and I’ll be damned if I let you down. But I feel like I’m already fucking it up. And I don’t know what to do.”

“You’re not fucking things up, J. Yeah, you annoyed the shit out of me cause your head was up your ass, but that isn’t reason for me to give up all that we have built together.” Your free hand reaches up to cradle his cheek, searching his eyes before you continue. “They’re going to love you. They already do love you, baby.”

“That’s as their friendly neighbor, not the man who’s been secretly with their daughter for years,” Joel huffs and leans into your touch.

“I’m serious, they are going to love you as my man because you love me and you treat me right. Most times.” A wink brings the slightest smile to his face, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. “What if…what if we say we tell them by the end of summer? You can take a bit to get used to the idea, and we can figure out how to do it, and then we’ll have nothing else to worry about by the time Sarah starts school again and life gets stressful.”

Nodding, he smiles tenderly and leans in closer, slowly dropping from the coffee table to kneel in front of you. Joel brushes his fingers along your cheekbone, down to your jaw before he holds the side of your neck.

“I can get behind that idea, Mariposa. I don’t want to hold us back any longer.”

“You weren’t holding us back, J. You were just scared. But next time, you know you can talk to me right? I don’t want you to be feeling all that alone.” Looking down at him with doting eyes, you await for him to confirm.

“I know, Mari baby. Not gonna happen again. And you know you can tell me anything? Especially if you’re getting annoyed as shit with me.”

“You don’t want to know how often you do that, baby.” You smirk teasingly, and he can’t help but laugh, running his other palm up and down your thigh. Inches away, he stretches to nudge his nose against yours, tracing down to hover his lips over yours.

“I love you, Mariposa.”

“I love you too, Joel.”

His hand on your neck moves up a few inches to tilt your jaw toward him, connecting your lips in a delicate kiss. A sigh leaves your lips when he pulls away, your own hands reaching up to grip his shoulders and keep him close. Warm breaths meld together as the two of you sit in the thick of the moment, everything so silent he feels like you must be able to hear how hard his heart is beating.

The tension built over the last few days of avoiding touching or kissing or even being near each other snaps when you bow toward Joel, embracing him with more fervor. Your lips ebb and flow, heat growing between the two of you as hands skim over, groping everywhere that you were burning for each other’s touch.

Breathless and wanting, Joel shifts to stand, propping a knee on the couch next to you, all while keeping his lips locked with yours. You take the initiative to lay back, tugging on the sides of his t-shirt to drag him to hover over you. Legs spread for him to settle between, one of his arms propping himself above you, the other palming your breast through your shirt and bra. A whimper escapes from your mouth at the next breath, Joel’s mouth disconnecting from yours to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck.

He works to pull your shirt over your head, and you pull yourself off the couch to get the material off completely. In another motion, your bra is unclasped and tossed aside, his mouth finding the peaks of your breasts and sucking while his fingers give attention to the opposite.

“Joel..” you gasp when he tugs gently with his teeth, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him up to your lips again. Joel’s shirt comes off next, landing in a pile with your own clothes, feeling his bare skin against yours when he presses against you.

“Missed you so much, Mari baby. Never wanna be away from you again,” he whispers back to you, forehead against yours.

“Me too, J. Can I show you how much I missed you?” you proposition, his eyes lighting up with intrigue as he slowly nods. Your hands come to his shoulders, pushing him off of you to sit back on the couch. Fingers slip in the waistband of his pants, working his button open and zipper down, pulling the material and his boxers off. A relieved, nearly inaudible sigh leaves his lips, cock slapping against his stomach. His doe eyes find your face as you lick your palm and start slowly stroking him, quiet moans held back as his hand reaches up to stroke your cheek. You turn your head to kiss his palm before folding yourself over his lap, taking the tip of him in your mouth.

“Fuck, darlin’, so good to me. Don’t deserve you,” he praises you as you find a rhythm, bobbing your head as you shift your legs next to him. His hand coasts down from your head down your curved spine to your ass, grabbing a handful as he hits the back of your throat. A louder moan kicks from his throat, his opposite hand finding his mouth for him to bite on his fingers to stay quiet.

You push him to the edge only to pull away from him at the last moment, a muffled groan rumbling from his chest. He grabs you when you sit up, kissing you hard as he coaxes you to lay back.

“Love you so fucking much, Mari. So beautiful, so perfect,” he speaks against your skin, trailing kisses down your torso. He peels your shorts off of you, your panties following in their wake. His movements are rushed, but his affections slow and syrupy, oozing warmth inside of you along with his touches.

Spreading your legs, he lets out a deep sigh, licking his lips before he kisses your inner thighs, ghosting and tender against the velvety skin. Tiny whimpers leave your mouth while you watch him inch closer to where you need him, want him, the most.

“Joel, baby, please—” His thumb applying pressuring to your clit and moving in languid circles cuts you off with a moan, the sound cutting through the quiet of the house. He smirks from between your legs, shaking his head as he speaks low and raspy.

“Quiet, sweetheart. Gotta keep those pretty sounds to a whisper for me, okay?” he questions rhetorically, testing you when he drags two fingers between your folds, gathering your wetness and circling your clit again.

Without another response from you, Joel doesn’t waste anothe second before getting his mouth on your, lapping up your arousal and groanig to himself against your skin. Whines ring from your lips, fingers tangling in his hair and tugging before he slips his tongue into your entrance, fucking you slow with the strong muscle.

“Oh my god, J, feels so good. God, missed you so much. Few days too long not being able to touch you,” you punctuate the sentence with a whine, Joel switching it up to suck your clit and slip two fingers into you. The praise gives him a burst of need to satisfy, to prove himself capable of being the only one to make you feel this good. In another moment, he’s got you coming apart on his tongue, lapping up the sweetness of you.

You’re quick to pull him up for a messy kiss, whispers of nothing between the two of you while he thrusts inside your waiting entrance, filling you with a delicious stretch that sends your mind reeling. Deep, hard motions drive into you, one arm holding him above you and his lips locked with yours. Your hands explore over his torso, wrapping your arms around to his back and holding yourself to him. Pulling away, his eyes find yours with his lips part in heavy breaths, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Te amo, Mariposa. Te quiero muchísimo. Nunca más querrás pelear contigo. nunca quiero lastimarte. (I love you, Mariposa. I love you so much. Never going to fight with you again. Never want to hurt you.) Gonna protect you and that golden heart of yours, sweet girl.”

A wanton moan escapes from your parted lips, holding your gaze in his when you feel tears prick your eyes. Not able to figure out if it’s from all the emotion spilling out or from the pleasure he’s giving you, but something splits inside that opens the flood gates of your own feelings for Joel. In a second, your grip on him gives you the leverage to press him back to sit, straddling him as you start to ride him, the air thick and heavy with heat as Joel peppers kisses to your chest. He leans back against the sofa, tilting his head up to study your face while you fuck yourself on his cock.

He’s looking at you as if your God’s gift to the world — to him. That all of the shit he’s waded through in his life, it was all worth it to have you in the end. Knows he needs you, wants you desperately, for the rest of his life and would give anything to make that happen.

“M’gonna marry you, my beautiful girl. Made my life so much better from the second I met you. No puedo vivir sin ti a mi lado. (I can’t live without you by my side.) Don’t make me live another second without you. Gonna get you a ring and do all right for you, my Mari baby, but promise me you’ll be mine. Para siempre. (Forever.)”

You grip his shoulders tighter, moving your hips faster and looking down at him, one hand moving to caress his cheek.

“Siempre, baby. Always. I’d say yes to you a million times over. I promise, it’s you and me, J. I love you.” A handful of tears escape, and Joel is quick is wipe them away, kissing you deeply and nudging his nose against you as his warm breath spreads across your face.

Another beat of your hearts together, and you’re right at the edge, moaning his name quietly. He plants his feet to stay steady while he thrusts up into you, one arm wrapped around your waist.

“Gonna come, fuck, pretty girl. Feels so fuckin’ good.”

“Me…Me too, J. Oh my god—” you whisper back to him.

“Come for me, Mari baby.” The next second, there’s a crackling fire burning inside as hot pleasure spreads across your body, all the way through your fingers and toes. Joel stutters from under you, coming apart at the same moment as you. Ropes of his come paint yours walls, sweet moans spilling from his lips as he fucks you through it.

Falling out of the haze, Joel’s arms snake around you and hold you against him, your head finding the crook of his neck when you fall forward. He kisses your temple and rocks you gently, silence blanketing the room while you both catch your breaths.

Joel breaks first, rasp ringing in your ear, “I hope you know that doesn’t count as my proposal. Gonna do it all right for you, Mari baby. You deserve fireworks and rose petals and white doves flying around. Whatever you want.”

A giggle from you makes him smile, and you pick up your head to look him in the eye, devotion filling them and sending a tingle through his spine.

“I don’t need all that stuff, J. Jus’ need you to ask, and I’ll say yes.”

Your hand caresses his cheek, thumb brushing against his cheekbone as your match his smile.

“Love you, Joel.”

“Te amo, Mari.”

taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissaa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @brittmb115 @anoverwhelmingdin @spishsstuff @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell

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[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Alligator Loki #1 Is Delightful

Spoilers, obviously.

I'm OBSESSED with this play on words. Also, cue me writing a 5000+ word essay (not really) on the symbolism of Loki and butterflies. Alligator Loki accidentally stumbles into the climax of Encanto. 'Ay, mariposas, don't you hold on too tight--' [CHOMP] Can one of the issues of Alligator Loki be just a play on those trailers in the early 2000s where Stitch trespassed on a bunch of classic Disney movies, only instead of Stitch it's Alligator Loki?

2. This is not fair. He's in baby gator jail for a reason. But ugh I'm a sucker for a crying Loki too. And you know it's been a week when a fake-crying cartoon alligator makes you tear up too. I'd have broken the little devil out also.

3. I was really mad at him for pointing a knife at Alligator Loki a panel ago, but I live for jealous, insecure Loki oh my God. First of all, dude, you ran off into a fucking portal. It's not Alligator Loki's fault Thor reached into the portal looking for you and pulled him out! It's not Alligator Loki's fault Thor's been reaching out all this time and you've been slapping his hand away. It's not Alligator Loki's fault that he (a little bit) let Thor take care of him when Loki refuses. Maybe you should let Thor love you!

4. HOWEVER! You don't get to take a bite out of the Coat!!! Loki has an emotional attachment to that coat. I have an emotional attachment to that coat! You leave that coat alone!

5. I fucking love this. Alligator Loki has bitten people in almost every chapter so far, but he hasn't been bitten back. I think this might be the first time he's ever been bitten back. And I'm not shocked Loki did it. Frankly I think any Loki would and I'm surprised President Loki didn't do it in the show. I wonder if it'll be some time before Alligator Loki's reaction of choice is biting, just in case.

6. The art of this comic is so simple, and then there are panels like this, with so much going on that you can miss it. Alligator Loki's cold, because it's winter and he's cold-blooded, so Loki leaves him draped in his beloved coat, which in itself would be so sweet. But then he gets a bunch of fire-powered people to stay and keep Alligator Loki warm. But wait, Loki still has his coat, did he have a second one somewhere? But the tails are shimmering with magic; this dork is so vain and so attached to a coat he doesn't even need that he magicked himself one before he even left the area.

7. ...And now I'm sobbing. Good-bye.

[darthnell]

for the ask game!

🔪, 🍄, 🏜️! :D

Ty for the ask friend !! :D

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Well my favorite ship pairings are my OCs so everything I say about them /is/ canon so… c: For Maritrix (Venatrix and Mariposa)… since True Vengeance was told from Ven’s pov, I’ll talk a lil bit about Mari’s: her initial interest in Ven was definitely strategy-based, given the nature of the Games. It was probably fairly obvious to the Games-savvy public that Ven would be volunteering in her final year, so she was on the table of potential sub-alliances in the Career pack for Mari for a while. But Mari probably expected her to be arrogant and entitled in the same way that Viper was. And while Ven definitely does have her moments of arrogance and entitlement, I think what surprised Mari the most was that she was genuine. A genuine fighter, genuinely grieving, and for the most part honest/blunt. I could definitely say much more about this but i just have been thinking about them a lot lately (when am i ever not lol) and it sucks that in this story they had to be in the arena together and not like. Living together gayly in a cabin in the woods with charcoal where percy visits them every now and then ;-; ah well. In an au where both gals survive, mari and iago wreak havoc on the internet using ven’s jabber account JFJDKDKD. ((Ok actual headcanon: mari and iago would be besties full stop, it would drive ven up the walls KDKDKDK))

Might as well share some stuff for Oberon and Dagmara too (Ven’s parents for those unawares) bc I have a lot of unposted/unwritten lore for them and I like them too c: so they started off as mentor and mentee since Oberon is 5 years older than Dag and he was assigned to mentor her for the games. Which she was pissed about because ofc she gets the rookie guy instead of the seasoned mentor who brought home more than a few victors. It’s kinda rough; Oberon does his best but he’s also currently having toxic girlfriend issues (tell me he doesn’t look like he had a toxic gf in the past jdjdjd). Anyways, after Dag wins, she and Oberon become closer as friends; Dag is also dealing w the loss of her best friend/cousin/district partner which is Rough for her ;-; she and Oberon are v much friends to lovers vibe, and I think the experience of being victors and having to deal w the shit the Capitol throws at them is probably something that like trauma bonds them 💀 they both go thru a lot but it helps that they have each other, like they both Get it. But yeah, before they started dating, Oberon was lowkey a hoe and Dag Wasn’t* but the relationships/situationships she tried to have w other people were just. Not it LOL. also Highkey. ADHD bf +autism gf.. beloved bihets <3

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Did a lot of research about turkey hunting for that one True Vengeance chapter. Also about reconstructed Viking ships. For my 163rd games fic I spent some time researching the aerodynamics of those flying/gliding suits. For my 171st games fic i um. I googled what happens when you eat lava. For my 173rd games fic i googled. What does crucifixion feel like. Finger guns :D I also spent some time doing research on types of prosthetics for TrV..! Turned out so well… 💀

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Well. Naturally I do love when ppl write me essays about their thoughts on my writing ;-; I don’t expect everyone to do that though LOL. Honestly just like when ppl are willing to share how my writing made them feel, it’s really neat ;-; There was also this one comment I got a while back that was a form of concrit but it was so interesting to me and I think about it a lot.. mainly bc it made me think of like an argument as to why the plot couldn’t be what the commenter was expecting (but maybe that’s bc I just love talking about my stuff LOL)

Writer’s truth or dare ask game !

[marip0sarosa]

Woah this is so new. Anyways (cough cough) Hi Everyone! My name is Mariposa. But you can also call me by the following names!

Names

Mariposa

Rainbow Star

Computer

Controlly

MePhone

Popcorn

Crayon Box

Four

Gold Ingot

Interests

The Daily Object Show

Brawl of the Objects

TPOT

Paper Puppets Take 2

Planet Hoppers

The Nightly Manor

Inanimate Insanity (Mainly Season 2

Animated Inanimate Battle (I don't support the creator)

OSC Hosts

Comforts/Favs

Any OSC Hosts (Except for Printer, Magic Wand, Perfume, Megaphone, IPad, and Gametendo Switch)

Knife (II)

Paintbrush (II)

Cabby (III)

Clover (III)

Candle (III)

Pin (BFDI)

Pencil (BFDI)

Spray Paint(TNM)

Party Hat (BOTO)

Sheildy (BOTO)

Fly Swat (Object Overload)

Tiny Tacos (TDOS)

Water Bottle (TDOS)

Moonlight (TDOS)

Card (TDOS)

Tablet Pen (TDOS)

Plasma Ball (PPT2)

Knight Helmet (PPT2)

Journal (PPT2)

Treasure Chest (PPT2)

Broomer (EEE)

Discomforts/Least Favs

Compupad (Computer x iPad)

OSC hosts I don't like: Printer, Magic Wand, Perfume, Megaphone, iPad, Gametendo Switch

Paintbrush x male character ships

Fantube Family

Any negativity towards my comforts

42

2x

Blanket x male character ships

MePhone x Ballpoint Pen

Any YinYang ships

Any negativity on my favorite shows

DNI

Homophobes, transphobes, racists

Mspec Lesbians/Mspec Lesbian Supporters

Loren/Taylor/Groink Supporters

Heavy Fantube Shippers

Heavy Lightbrush Shippers

Rare Pair Haters

Groomers

Proshippers

Vivziepop Supporters

I write a Fanfic Series called Host Camping Daze. A series about OSC hosts being 10-12 years old and enjoying their time at camp while learning more about each other. Available both Wattpad and AO3. And here's some look at the covers.

These Three Are Hand Drawn By Me (Season 1-3)

I have 4 rare pairs (drawn by Shroom and Lemon)

And like I showed before, I draw. Here's some examples

That's it. Hope you guys enjoy what I post.