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housemdork · 4 days ago

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house md rewatch: 1x20, "love hurts"

chase being a Confirmed Freak* is, somehow, not the most interesting moment of this episode

*good for him! not his fault that the rest of PPTH is boring lol.

i love how you can see the way house's expression changes just before he self-sabotages like wild - the moment of decision to (attempt) to read cameron for filth would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic. so overall, i really enjoy this episode. jennifer morrison is so powerful in scenes where cameron's world view/morals are challenged, and this is one of the strongest of those moments. and all of this combined with a dominatrix subplot, the ethics of which bleed into the rest of the characters? slay.

despite everyone dogging on chase for being into kink, i'd argue that this episode is lowkey pretty sex-positive (in a 2000s tv sort of way. i'll always apologize for that context lol). i like how 1x20 offers the patient, harvey, and his dominatrix, annette, and the clinic patients, an elderly couple struggling to negotiate the frequency of sex in their AFFAIR, as 2 sides in a sexuality spectrum. crazy different situations and perspectives, but both advocate for clear communication and consent and an understanding of one another's boundaries. and once it's revealed that harvey and annette's asphyxiation ritual is to blame for some of his health problems, they give it up.

so it's fascinating when annette is introduces the central theme of the episode: control. she says that harvey enjoys being safely asphyxiated because he can "feel in control by being controlled." in a character arc fraught with competing attempts to control the terms and outcome of their burgeoning relationship, neither house or cameron feel this way. house seems to realize this when he leaves the conversation with cuddy, the hospital lawyer, and annette once it's determined that she's not hurting harvey:

annette describes a perfectly equal relationship in terms of power dynamics, despite what it seems like to outside eyes - harvey has as much agency as she does. since neither house nor cameron feel comfortable rescinding any control, 1x20 implies pretty early that the date that's haunting the background of this episode will not work out.

paradoxically, however, foreman's quick preview into one of the show's writ large strongest themes undercuts this episode-specific argument. when chase is describing the more private, scandalous parts of his sexual history, foreman says that, "why would you want to be with in a relationship with someone that's so obviously only gonna lead to pain?"

that's it, foreman. that's the show. vulnerability and control and meeting halfway and every other piece of a successful relationship will never exist without pain, no matter how badly characters like house try to resist this.

cameron's expression during this conversation is hilarious because, whether she's just realizing it or has known subconsciously for a while, she's about to do exactly what foreman decries:

in my notes, next to the "to feel in control by being controlled," i wrote why #hameron doesn't work. i think she may have an inkling of that here, or at least feel a little targeted by some cosmic irony.

i'm actually gonna outsource some observations about cameron and her relationship dynamics to my resident fellow-expert @all-pacas in this link here. it's a really good breakdown of how the original house/cameron arc leads into her later development with chase, growth within romantic relationships, and how she leaves house in the dust in terms of Growth. regarding the date itself in 1x20, however, i'll add this:

the massive flower vase isn't emphasized in the early shots of them at the restaurant, but when things go south because house gets tired of being read for filth by cameron and lashes out, it divides the frame in half almost perfectly.

even cameron's corsage implies distance; by conflating her visually with the flowers, it acts as another component of house's failure to bond. he meant well by the gesture (it's so cute and would have worked on me lol), he ruins it by self-sabotaging. his body language is closed off, too, with his menu off the table and his feet crossed. cameron, meanwhile, extends both her arms and foot toward him. i truly cannot imagine how the rest of this night panned out lol.

additionally, in his attempts to scare her off, he completely misses the mark. he says that she thinks he's a charity case, and that "but what i am is what you need: damaged." nope. she does, in fact, like you. we've been through some of her messed up reverence issues, how she thinks she should thank house like he's some deity, and how love is a moral obligation to cameron, but that doesn't discount the fact that she does want to be there. he's such a jerk smh.

also, this is a misdiagnosis, and applies in later seasons to another character who is attracted to the shine of someone's needi---

finally, i am qualifying this as Wilson's Compulsive Heterosexuality Ground Zero. my entire viewing experience is informed by my reading that wilson likes men in a schroedinger's closet sort of situation. if he doesn't know the closet exists, can he really be trapped inside it? and if that seems wildly out of left field to you, i am dedicated to convincing more people of the merit of this perspective throughout my rewatch, so please stick around! i even try to differentiate this from strictly hilson posting, the caveat being that house is the only man (for a while) with whom he has any close relationship.

superficially, and much like how chase and foreman treat house and cameron's date, it's a huge, silly spectacle to wilson. when he squeezes it out of house at the beginning of the episode, he's comically elated. we can safely lump him in as another Guy Friend who's teasing his emotionally stunted buddy about taking out a much younger woman.

he undoes this, however, after making a surprise appearance (seriously where have you been lol) to cameron much later in the episode. he appeals to her about the upcoming date, friendly at first.

with 1x19 in mind and wilson's warnings to house that if he doesn't drop the pushing-people-away problem, that he'll wind up alone, it follows that he'd warn cameron about how house is most likely going to hurt her feelings, right...?

no, that would be too simple. abruptly, wilson seems really unhappy with this arrangement, and not because it's breaking a dozen HR policies (chase and foreman are right to be worried lol). he tells cameron that she needs to conduct herself well around house because, if he gets hurt again, he might close himself off for good. noble though wilson's intentions might be toward house, this is an unkind thing for wilson to do, imo. he's investing himself in the situation despite house actively keeping him out of it; he's giving his 2 cents when no one asked; he's attempting to control the situation.

and much like how formulaic annette and harvey's arrangement was, that's how wilson views the date's proceedings. the scene immediately following this one is wilson coaching house on how to act, with a nod to sleeping with cameron at the end - the infamous "panty-peeler" comment...

this is an event to be orchestrated, to be observed from a distance, toward which to give unsolicited advice and feedback. wilson runs through the laundry list of topics to bring up - cameron's shoes, her earrings, her DHA (dreams, hopes, and aspirations) - with the express goal of sex at the end. despite asserting to cameron that this date means a lot to house by way of threatening her, wilson won't conceptualize of anything beyond the superficial. he's the persona guy, after all.

wilson's involvement means more to him than the date does; his ability to influence, live vicariously, control his friend and be protective, is written all over his face here:

along with some real kindness because he does want house to find happiness. we haven't seen what happens when they fall out of sync yet though. they can't handle it lol.

this is all pretty subtle - i know i'm reaching a bit - but just think about where house/wilson/cuddy goes in the future seasons. they're both obsessed with orchestrating sexually-charged scenarios to embarrass the other toward the woman who holds power over them both, the difference being that house has genuine feelings for cuddy, while wilson...? it's all about Living Vicariously, without even knowing that he's doing it.

furthermore, it's certainly a 2000s gay joke atp that wilson is so obsessed with shoes. this is at least the 3rd time he's made a comment about them - the time house noticed that he looked pretty at work; the interviewee from 1x19 that was wearing prada shoes, according to wilson; and now this, when he's so certain that women will respond well to compliments about their footwear. clever way of using said gay joke to make the point that he is forcibly superficial in his romantic dealings.

and what did i say in the last recap about inverted visual dynamics/posturing between house and wilson? wilson is seated, looking up at house, talking about/analyzing him, dominating the conversation:

this is NOT, and never will be, a process by which i erase wilson's adultery. whether or not he finds fulfilment in his relationships over the years doesn't mean he hasn't hurt a lot, a lot of women. just because you're suppressed doesn't mean you get to make it everyone else's problem. and the episode's merit isn't all that impeded by qualifying all of my rambles as just wilson being a dirty rotten player who can't keep it in his pants.

i know i deemphasized parts of the episode that stand out, but as the characters get Bigger and Bigger, i've found that i need to focus on what grabs me the most if i ever want to get thru these lol. and is it just me or does wilson consistently have crazy, unwarranted beef with cameron, whether or not house is involved?

#i may save the strictly hilson elements of this episode for a separate post #i don't want to shove characters aside for that sole reason #and i hope this showcases that i like wilson Away from house just as much as i like him inextricably bound lol #leave it up to me to write a post 2/3rds about him when he's in about 15% of the episode MAX #house md #malpractice md #greg house #james wilson #allison cameron #robert chase #eric foreman #house md rewatch #rewatch 1 #season 1

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