#Maybe animate it as Bill and Ford

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I've been trying to find this specific clip since December because the way the Professor says 'I don't fucking know' has altered my brain chemistry.

[randomitemdrop]

Trick or trivia

Happy Halloween! I do enjoy trivia of many types, but one of my favorite genres is what I call the Berenstein Timeline: unmade shows and movies, versions of classic movies where studios and producers made different decisions, some better, some much worse. All of these are real projects that were, on some level, considered (there are some recurring names)

"Heat Vision & Jack", a 90s pastiche of 70s-80s action shows starring Jack Black as an astronaut on the run from the law and Owen Wilson as his talking motorcycle

"Jurassic Park" directed by Tim Burton with Johnny Depp as Alan Grant, Jim Carrey as Ian Malcolm, and Vincent Price as John Hammond

the 90s "Batman" directed by Ivan Reitman; Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy were going to star but couldn't decide which of them would be Batman and which would be Robin

Back in the 1970s the American network was getting good numbers showing heavily-edited reruns of "Monty Python's Flying Circus", so they tried to sell the Pythons on the next logical step: an animated Saturday morning cartoon

"Edward Scissorhands" still directed by Burton but starring Tom Cruise or maybe Michael Jackson

"Return of the Jedi" directed by David Lynch; Harrison Ford was considering not coming back for the third movie and so when he came out of the carbonite there was a chance he would have been Christopher Walken

Guillermo del Toro's "At the Mountains of Madness". Also "the Hobbit" and lots of other things, he seems to have a lot of unmade projects

the 2010s "Star Trek" movie directed by Quentin Tarantino, where the edgy reboot crew visits the Gangster Planet from that one stupid episode of the original series

Everybody knows about the unmade "Superman Lives" starring Nicolas Cage in the title role, but did you know it was going to be directed by Tim Burton and include Christopher Walken as Brainiac, who would have been a green head on spider legs

Harold Ramis didn't particularly want to act on camera, so when they were casting "Ghostbusters" Egon could have been Christopher Walken, Christopher Lloyd, Jeff Goldblum, or John Lithgow. Supposedly the movie was originally intended to be a relatively serious exploration of Dan Akroyd's very real interest in paranormal investigation, although this clashes a bit with the fact that Peter Venkman was originally going to be played by John Belushi and Winston Zeddmore was written for Eddie Murphy who backed out when the character's backstory and most of his lines were cut

John Waters' animated series "Uncle John" on 90s MTV

the original version of "Bill & Ted's Time Van" starring Pauly Shore and Sean Penn

"Red Dragon" (the original Hannibal Lecter novel) directed by David Lynch starring John Lithgow as Hannibal Lecter and Mel Gibson as Will Graham

the 1970s "Dr. Strange" TV series

the 1990s Disney animated "John Carter of Mars"

the 1990s Warner Bros animated "King Tut" musical with songs by Prince

the serious horror version of "Beetlejuice"

Drew Barrymore's 2000s remake of "Barbarella"

the Dungeons & Dragons movie James Cameron was going to make until TSR left the table over merchandising disputes, forcing Cameron to go work on some dumb movie about the Titanic

American "Doctor Who" movie starring Michael Jackson

Canadian "Doctor Who" cartoon by Nelvana starring a Doctor based intensely off of either Jeff Goldblum or Christopher Lloyd

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" directed by Terry Gilliam

"Good Omens" directed by Terry Gilliam and starring Johnny Depp and Robin Williams

"The Black Cauldron" using character and background designs by Nightmare-era Tim Burton

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Headcanon: Feral Ford

Okay, so...I like this idea because there is some sense to it.

Ford had been traversing different dimensions for 30 years. I have very little doubt that he has picked up at least a few odd quirks depending how long he spent in a specific dimension.

One that I did have in mind was that he pretty much gained an iron stomach of sorts, or is unbothered to eat strange looking foods, what with him likely eating strange (otherworldly) foods in order to survive.

The main quirk I want to talk about is him gaining some animalistic behavior along the way. Regardless of what you believe in (coming from a non-denominational Christian), humans are animals. What separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is our higher mental capacity and emotional intelligence.

Despite this, humans are capable of delving into a primitive mindset if given the right circumstances and there are alleged cases of this, usually in the form of feral children, but I digress.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

And Ford did what he had to do to survive. Seriously, what was his first year in the multiverse like? When he got sucked in, he was on the verge of insanity and likely suffered from sleep deprivation due to Bill's influence. What was the first dimension like and how did he survive it?

Regardless for now, what if Ford spent a long time on a planet lacking lifeforms of emotional intelligence, which resulted in him adopting behaviors from the animals on that planet. Not only that, but most of his senses are heightened to help him survive, maybe even garnering a sixth sense of sorts, mostly that of sensing danger seconds before it happens.

Once he is able to leave this planet, he slowly, but surely, regains most of his composure, but those instincts still remain and once he returns to his home dimension, those instincts are both a fascination to behold but also a worrisome perk depending on the situation.

He purrs when content/relaxed enough or having a peaceful sleep...the latter which is unfortunately not very common for the poor man (damn you, Bill). He can't handle a lot of smells and can actually pick up the smell of blood due to those heightened senses.

Possible PTSD aside, Ford usually has a handle on his more animalistic instincts. But all rational thought can be thrown out the window when he feels that he and/or his family was threatened to the highest he could handle. He'll sneer, snarl and growl, bare his teeth, and poise himself to either attack (either with a weapon or his own hands) or protect his family.

Like a wolf protecting his pups. His pack.

He's not exactly proud of this, finding it shameful for him to act in such a way in a civilized world, even though it was a means of survival and the others don't hold it against him.

Mabel especially loves his purring, finding it relaxing, and Dipper is fascinated by his heightened senses.

I have read multiple fics of Feral Ford on AO3 and they are a nice read. I'll make link posts to them when I have the time.

[ckret2]

i really liked this week's chapter ^^ the bunny-bill comparison was cool! i feel a lil bad for dipper tho. i caught two typos while reading thru so i thought id let you know.

while Dipper, official junior paranormal investigator, somehow wasn't the one who understand the alien demon

"Yeah that makes perfect sense! I mean, what's 'three-dimensional' vision anyway?" He held set his can on the ground

also, (from when you were talking about the barrier from an earlier chapter) the mystery shack doesnt have the unicorn barrier on the actual walls. (unless thats something youve changed) its a circle around the house. it looks like a safety snowglobe. its very close to the parts of the house that stick out, but still on the ground. though the picture i found was when ford set it up. i cant remember if it was different during weirdmaggedon.

The barrier floats around the shack in a dome.

The hair that fuels it was glued onto the shack.

We see the ring of magic drifting from the walls to form a circle; but from that distance, it's impossible to tell if the unicorn hair is what's floating outward to form a ring, or if the magic itself is peeling off of the hair to form the ring.

Unless unicorn hair is very stretchy, it's probably the magic that's moving, not the hair itself.

The unicorn hair is visible neither on the shack nor on the ground after this scene; either it evaporated, or that thin little thread just isn't distinct enough to animate. When it's shown activating during Weirdmageddon it's from a similarly faraway view where details like that would be too small to animate. From the show we have no way to know one way or the other.

I'm operating on the assumption that it just isn't distinct enough to animate, but it still exists, because a spell that strong that lasts perpetually after its ingredients are burned up seems too OP compared to a barrier that's only continuously powered as long as its ingredients are still in place.

Therefore: the unicorn hair, probably still glued onto the wall of the shack, is fueling the magical dome, which is around the shack.

You can't kick an insubstantial magical dome to break it so it stops working. It's insubstantial. It's unkickable.

You can kick a strand of hair to break it, thus cutting off the dome's power.

Bill kicked the strand of hair.

Now, there's a lot of elements here that canon doesn't clearly show one way or the other—maybe unicorn hair is stretchy enough to float out and form that ring, or maybe the ingredients are burned up. There's no way to tell from the show. I am making a choice here from multiple possible unknowns.

But I'm most definitely referring to actual canon when I say it's on the walls.

[godsfavoritescientist]

I hoped I might be able to finish an old short fic, but once again I'm stopped by the fact that I'd need to write an entire new scene, as opposed to just editing a few things.

To make sure it doesn't rot in an unshared google doc for the rest of eternity, I'll post the beginning of it here:

Ford isn’t avoiding the statue. That would be stupid. He simply happens to never pass by it, no matter how many times he walks through the woods. He has more practical routes to take. He knows this forest like the back of his hand–maybe even better than he knew it in his younger days, now. He would walk by the statue if walking by the statue was the quickest route. It just so happens that it never is.

The point is, he has no reason to avoid a stupid statue. He also has no reason to go out of his way to walk by a stupid statue. He knows what it looks like. He doesn’t need to see it again. He doesn’t want to see it again. He doesn’t care enough to want to avoid it nor to want to see it again. He’s a very busy man, with only limited time left, if normal human lifespans are anything to go by, and there are still countless undiscovered things to document in Gravity Falls. It’s been almost a year since the last time he had to deal with Bill Cipher’s inane antics, which is more than enough time for his mind to move on to much more interesting and productive pursuits than standing in front of a statue.

Which is why, of course, he’s so vexed by what he’s greeted by in his mindscape night after night after night. No matter what distractions he occupies himself with before bed, no matter how many breathing exercises he completes, no matter how many home remedies for sleeping well and dispelling bad dreams he tries, no matter what combination of magic and modern medicine he takes, no matter how long he manages to stay up without sleeping at all, he always dreams of the same place.

In the dream, he stands in a clearing in the woods. Light filters down through the canopy of trees above him. It’s deathly silent. The usual chittering of wild animals and insects and magical creatures living their little lives throughout the forest is completely absent. It’s like a casket viewing at a funeral.

In front of him is the last remaining form of Bill Cipher in the entire known multiverse: a little statue with an outstretched arm. It’s almost funny. After eons of causing indescribable amounts of grief and destruction across countless dimensions throughout the multiverse, this is all that’s left. A rock on the ground in a dimension that doesn’t even know his name.

It never matters what he does in the dream. He can laugh. He can kick it. He can spit on it. He can throw rocks at it. He can drive a bulldozer at it. He can grasp its hand as if initiating a handshake. He can try to turn around and walk away. Nothing lays a single scratch on it, and every path leads back to it.

[cootcutebatkat]

Random Ford Headcanons

He loves cats. Always have ever since he's heard about polydactyl cats when he was little. Hell, Caryn probably got him one once she noticed his fascination and why.

He's sometimes selfish out of protection and has no problem treating people he dislikes with contempt. The reason why is that he has trust issues and tends to make immediate judgements, so he tends to act hot and cold with folks. It's understandable considering peer abuse, the debacle with Stan and the Science Fair, Bill Cipher, and surviving the multiverse. Seriously, can you blame him? If you do, you're on his Don't Trust List.

That being said, he's learned to be polite, sometimes excessively so. That and he's learned to withhold judgements, so he can also be too forgiving at times as well. Again, hot and cold.

As he grew more confident in himself, so did he become more protective of others. That and he's made a lot of progress on learning to trust again. This leads him to being very soft with kids, animals, and other vulnerable things. In short, he is very Not immune to cuteness. (But he's always had a soft spot for cute things since he was young. He just hides it less now. And is no longer holding back his impulses on acting sweet towards them)

There are some things he can cook. He's lent a six-fingered hand or two in the kitchen before and he can do it well enough. It's just that sometimes... well, he can get lost in thought. He's always been a spacey kid. (cough-dissociation-cough-cough)

Traveling between dimensions, between realities with their own sets of rules about how the world works, means dealing with new laws of physics and plants and animals and what is edible and what isn't. Sure, there are recipes, but what is a sniffle-spoon? What do these symbols mean? I'm sorry but I'm still learning your language, so can you rephrase that please?

Baking is... somewhat easier. Especially when it's just plain ol' bread and maybe some confectionery or fruit added to it. It seems multi-universal.

He doesn't just have tattoos. He also has piercings! You'll catch him playing with the ones on his ears sometimes. He also likes to wear rings but hasn't truly worn them in public until he started traveling in the multiverse. The most rings he's worn habitually was when he was crowned king of the Finger Dimension.

One of his love languages is Acts of Service. He's always willing to do a favor for his loved ones in some shape or form, either right now or at least the moment he's available. Which is often soon and is followed by a "Now, what can I do for you?" However, if you're particularly close with him and/or do not mind such humor, he'll jokingly complain with a teasing smile on his face.

As a rambler himself, Ford makes an effort to listen as well, even if he doesn't understand what you're talking about. He's used to struggling to understand others ever since he was young, thanks to his difficulty with social rules and idioms. Also, he understands that he's rather arcane and cryptic to his audience as well, going off on tangents about whatever has caught his interest.

Ford is organized messy. He has a system, he swears! It's just... he's been busy, alright? He knows where everything is, so why mess with it? But when he does have his moments of organization, it's incredibly logical and systematical. But it won't take long for it to become messy again. When will he figure out a proper organizing system?

Ford is actually quite good at communication. But it's unfortunate that people tend to confuse him, including himself. He understands PTSD, but has had trouble with coping and self-awareness. Honestly, the most time he's had introspection was when he was in Gravity Falls as a researcher and a bit of high-school and college. But the isolation and the comfort and such allowed him to process some things. Apparently he has more things to process now. God dammit, says he.

Seems to believe in fate. So he might believe he bears some kind of curse or some great deal of bad luck due to circumstances. After all, what he's gone through is cruel and/or unusual. And somehow, he's survived. Grown stronger even. And he knows that higher beings exist, certainly has been hurt by them too. (cough Bill cough cough)

When you've gained his trust and care, he tends to initiate a lot of physical affection. Hugs, high-sixes, pats on the back, holding hands, leaning on each other, teasing jabs, and of course, if he feels close enough with you and you've especially expressed fondness for it, kisses. Plenty of them, whether your relationship is platonic, romantic, and/or sexual. When he's made his affections to you often enough, you can expect permission to reciprocate and initiate just as often.

Has struggled with suicide ideation for a long time, ever since he was young. Nowadays, he just jokes about it. He no longer feels the urge, but it never leaves his mind either. Rather, it's become a concept of mundane fascination, very distanced but still present. The worst was when he was betrayed by Bill and had to find a way to stop him for good. It felt like it was the only way. He is grateful that Stan is such a stubborn jackass.

Because he is so spacey, he's also surprisingly sensual. It's why he loves physical affection. It's alive. He's alive. He's here. It's also why he loves to draw and do crafts, to bake, to have tattoos and piercings and jewelry. Why he is keen on aesthetics. You'll often catch him stimming in some form or another.

[creativesplat]

Young Stan getting bullied in Stan’s mindscape looks an awful lot like Ford, with his glasses and everything.

Ether that means the animation team hadn’t finalised designs yet (which I highly doubt!) or Stan dressed up as Ford so the bullies wouldn’t beat up his brother, which is super sweet.

(As a side note… if he did do that, it’s a nice little foreshadow to Stan dressing up as Ford in the final episode, maybe Stan has a habit of taking punches (or handshakes from Bill) for his brother)

[billford-dump]

In which Ford literally brings Bill back from the dead through the power of love

Ford visits the Statue a lot.

He isn't sure why. Maybe reassurance that the demon is dead, maybe so he's ready in case he comes back. Maybe because he misses him.

Whatever the reason, he spends more time than he probably should sitting in that clearing, leaned against the Statue and making his back ache from the position. He's too old to be comfortable, but being too old has never stopped him before.

---

Bill isn't dead, not really.

He's been stripped down to the bare minimum, without a physical body to anchor him the memory gun peeled away everything in him. He had only barely managed to escape death by tearing his soul out of Stan's mind, leaving most of his power behind.

What was left wasn't enough to animate his body though, or even change it to a more self-sustaining form that didn't rely on his magic entirely. He was trapped in a cold, dark shell, barely conscious for seconds, or centuries, or a million trillion years. Sometimes he felt the barest hint of warmth from somewhere outside himself, not that he can understand things like "temperature" and "things that aren't himself" in his current state.

He can't think any more, too broken to remember how, so instead he feels. He feels discomfort. Fear. Confusion. The occasional flicker of an all-consuming rage but he can never hold onto strong feelings for long.

---

Ford cries, sometimes.

Leaned up against the Statue, silent tears falling as he hates himself for missing Bill. Hates himself for still loving him. Whispers apologies to it, and hates himself for that too.

---

Bill realizes that there are things that aren't him.

He isn't warm, but warm exists, so something else must be warm. It's a leap of logic with his existence narrowed down to a simple awareness, but he's spent enough time unknowingly rebuilding himself to know again. Not think, he's not that far along, but knowledge is still a step up from feelings.

---

Ford falls asleep against it, only once.

He hadn't slept the night before, or the night before that, sneaking around so his brother wouldn't realize and scold him for not taking care of himself. The sun is warm and the day is comfortable and he just sort of... drifts off.

He dreams about Bill, but it's not a nightmare.

That scares him more than if it had been, and he stays away from the Statue for nearly a week afterwards.

---

Bill is still struggling, but he's made enough progress to be frustrated.

He's supposed to be something else, somewhere else, but his memories are gone and there's nothing left to remind him of who he was.

There is something not-him that comes and goes, and once he gets a glimpse.

It's a cascade of sensation and input and concepts, too much to handle so he just lets it wash over him. He acts entirely on instinct and some part of him recognizes that this is the way he's supposed to be. There's a man, one that he knows, and it hurts so much not to remember him. He remembers his own name and a language to structure his thoughts in. He remembers too much, and it breaks him again, but this time the pieces are larger and easier to put together. The warmth is gone for a long time.

---

Ford returns after a week, and he cries again.

---

By now Bill has managed to build himself back up, and while he doesn't have any memories per se, he does have most of the rest of him. Bits of his personality, the layers of Self that cover the single point of awareness he had started out with. He knows he has power, and he knows how to use it. There isn't much, but he slowly, carefully carves a hole in his prison.

---

A long time passes, but Bill doesn't know how long. The warmth is gone again, and he's so tired. He doesn't have the power to keep carving the hole, widening the crack, and he can't find any more pieces of himself. He knows they're there, somewhere, feels their echoes, but they're all impossible to grasp.

He waits.

How long has it been? Did he imagine the warmth? He's so tired. The awareness at his core flickers and dims, and for a while he just Stops.

And then it's warm again. He wakes up so slowly, it takes ages to remember that he's trapped and wants to escape, longer to remember how to do that. He goes back to breaking his prison.

---

Ford notices the crack in the Statue. It's small, but large enough to not blend into the texture of the stone. He watches as it spreads over the summer, and he feels... Almost sad. Bill's strange corpse is finally decaying. By the time the kids leave again for California, it's crumbling at the edges.

---

The warmth leaves again. This time he doesn't Stop, but he does sleep. He's so close to freedom. He can't take risk messing up and starting over, and whenever that warm feeling is gone for too long he starts to feel weak. He doesn't want to Stop again.

---

The next summer the statue is the same. Crumbling at the edges, a little more overgrown, but it hasn't fallen apart like Ford expected. It's still sturdy enough to lean on. He doesn't go out there as often, slowly moving on as the years pass, but he visits sometimes.

It feels warmer than usual, like the stone is alive.

He tells himself it's the sunlight.

---

One day, halfway through the summer, a CRACK resounds through the entire valley, and Ford.... He Knows what it is, where it's from, and he drops what he's doing to run to a certain clearing in the woods.

The Statue is gone.

In it's place, there's someone he once loved.

Still loves.

And now, perhaps, someone he has a chance to continue to love.

- - -

For clarification:

The “warmth” is Bill feeding on Ford’s feelings for him. No god can survive without followers, and love is definitely a form of worship.

The dream was Bill accidentally falling into Ford’s dreamscape and grabbing a bunch of info out of Ford’s subconscious during the dream.

The long periods of no warmth were Ford going out on the boat with Stan once summer ended, so he was too far for Bill to get anything from him

The Stopping was Bill starving to death without any power. Luckily he’s very hard to kill.

[fordtato]

I have three main headcannons for how Ford heard All Star, the song that clearly inspired his tattoo:

1.) He heard it in an alternate earth during his travels. Maybe it was slightly different in its arrangement, maybe it was by Bang Mouth instead of Smash Mouth, maybe every word began with the letter M, but he heard it on the radio somewhere and it was just so unmistakably Earth-like that he couldn't help but be overcome with emotion and nostalgia for the home he once had.

2.) There aren't many constants in the universe, but stories of outcasts are as close as they come to being ubiquitous among sentient societies. So when Ford sees the story of a being who is viewed as a monster and misunderstood, forced to isolate himself in seclusion in the woods, a being who fears never finding the companionship of someone who understands? The story impacted him greatly, more than he thought it would. He left the theater with tears in his eyes, a newfound hope in his heart, and the ticket stub for Shmrek (the animated story of a loveable ogre and his zebra companion who save Princess Liona from a dragon) safe in his pocket next to an old photograph.

3.) Somewhere, somehow, a disk in a plastic case just materialized, falling next to him with a clatter. It landed on a nearby rock, along with an unfilled 1099-MISC tax form and an attempt to collect a payment on an unpaid credit card balance (which???? Had his name on it???? Surely this was a trick by one of Bill's agents?! Or perhaps some other version of himself had managed to crawl into debt - the electric bills from the portal always did mean he was on the verge of bankruptcy...) The plastic case (which he would later learn was for something called a CD) was a little banged up, like it had fallen off a moving truck or hit with a hammer or had been been tossed into a deep, deep pit, but wherever it came from, it smelled like the fir trees in Gravity Falls - though, surely, that was just his imagination, just his exhaustion-addled brain grasping at any familiarity it could find after so many years in alien landscapes. When he got to a dimension with technology suited for playing this metallic laser-imprinted disk, he heard it. "...I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change." He looked at his unfinished quantum destablizer. He could use all the change he could get.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hoh boy do I have some. i will simply put questions. no adding…

Which being would come with Ford? Would they have to fit through the portal physically? Do they immediately attack the Pines which makes some Nice Angst? Hmm..

Doors the henchmaniac just Live There now? They might get genuinely reformed but how would they happen? Or do they just die. demon slaughtering would be a nice activity

Are the Pines just stuck with weirdness gravity falls now?? how do they fix that?! weirdmageddon started when bill arrived! it could be the rift maybe… but how would they close the rift? Ooo, the zodiac! Maybe it wasn’t meant to kill bill, just reverse the damage?!! I have no idea, but there could be reasons why it doesn’t go away when he dies.

Would Bill be aware of Ford’s time reverse? Probably not, to spice up the meter. Ford just… LIVES now. There’s so much to do. Reminding relationships! But he would be so reluctant to reach out to fiddleford. Stan even less so! But there’s no portal now, so many. But what’s bout the future timeline? Where does that go? Does this happy timeline suddenly crash with the weirdmageddon Ed timeline with a dead ford and absolutely lost the game citizens!? Bill will confuse to rule this timeline! He can transcend timelines! WHERE DOES THEFUTURE GO? man. a happy world colliding with a miserable as fuck one.

(I can see how the ford dies idea could start. the zodiac and the reanimated people escape successfully after stan refuses to hold ford’s hand. them still be absolutely PISSED at each other. There’s no shack now! They try to run to the Bunker, since that’s the only place virtually left. But, Oh No! Somehow, Bill and the henchmaniacs catch up. ford ends up caught in the crossfire and DYING. it’s very angsty and sad. shit ton of regretfr. and then the plot happens. this was hard to explain! Hopefully I did it right—)

So many questions and I have answers for all of them! Nice!

The idea with the first fic is that multiple henchmaniacs come through the portal. I'm thinking maybe three or four? As for who would come through...for some reason, I imagine 8 Ball is one of them. Maybe Xanthar, because property damage and also Steve needs a friend.

Imagining Xanthar having to get through the portal can be both funny and horrifying, so I think they get through physically. 8 Ball does try to eat Dipper in canon, so the Pines family probably does get immediately attacked. Can't imagine Ford's doing too hot, either.

If any of them were going to get reformed, it would be Xanthar, funnily enough. Xanthar always struck as more animal-like than the others, so I don't think it would be as interested in spreading chaos as the other henchmaniacs. The others can be slaughtered. As a treat.

Anyway, the second fic! I haven't really thought much about how they would fix the weirdness. I think the fic would focus more on them surviving and learning to adapt to it. Nice family bonding activity: shooting and cooking bats for food because we're running out of canned meat and be careful not to shoot too many cause animals don't really come inside the bubble anymore

I like the zodiac idea. Unfortunately, Ford isn't exactly...present anymore, so I'm not sure how they would pull that off.

Fic three, the one I know the most about: Bill does not know! He is completely clueless. Ford wakes up to "DON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK, YOU'RE NOT 92 YET!" and immediately shuts Bill down. Bill just. leaves. Ford is extremely confused.

He does consider reaching out to Fiddleford, but ultimately decides not to. He doesn't want the gremloblin situation to happen again. He does reach out to Stan though! He may pissed at the guy, but...he's definitely not in a good living situation if he's having to chew his way out of car trunks.

So, Stan lives with Ford now! Starts out really rocky, but it gets better over time. Ford even tells Stan about what's happening after a while. Does Stan believe him? Good question, he has no idea.

The fic is entirely from Ford's perspective, and he has no idea what's happening in the future. He does think about it a lot, though.

It may be a happier world from an outside view (especially for Stan), but to Ford it's the absolute fucking worst. He has no idea what happened or why it happened, and he doesn't know that Bill doesn't know. No one else knows about it, he can't trust anyone enough to talk to them about it, and how would they help, anyway? And there's no niblings, at least not yet. What could be worse than that?

I love the bunker idea, I actually like it better than the way I decided Ford dies in the fic. Which is via Bill's torture. He has. No idea what's going on outside the fearamid.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Also Roman showed some blurbs of his old Bill But A Cat AUs last night so now guess what's on my mind

[isabellthebitchyghost]

Thanks for the tag @ribcageteeth ❣️

Nickname: Izzy, Bell, Belly, Smell

Sign: Libra sun, Libra moon, Libra rising baby

Height: 5' 5"

Last thing i googled: "Girl with a Pearl Earring"

Song stuck in my head: "Nowhere to Go" -Bad Omens

# of followers: less than a hundred

Amount of sleep: lots. maybe 8-9 on workdays, more on days off

Lucky number: idk, I'll let you know after I win the lotto

Dream job: *sigh*

Wearing: jammies. oversized Lita Ford tshirt and red jammie pants

Movies/books that summarize you: The Last Unicorn (movie and book), Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989), Addams Family Values (1993), Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990), Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003) and Vol. 2 (2004). Many more. TV shows because they are so so so important to me: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997 - 2003) and Broad City (2014 - 2019)

Favorite song: changes on the daily. back on my Bad Omens bullshit after seeing them live again maybe "THE DEATH OF PIECE OF MIND" right now or "Glass Houses"

Aesthetic: Draculaura from monster high and how the Nova Twins dress I think. also i want Joan Jett hair but I like being able to wear my hair up

Favorite authors: honestly @insomniac-arrest is one of my favs everyone go read her stuff. then I'll say like Dianna Wynne Jones and Ocean Vuong for right now. Actually add Brian Lee O'Malley. Scott Pilgrim is good and I'm really enjoying Snot Girl. Oh and Brian K Vaughan, everyone go read Saga right the fuck now.

Favorite animal noise: my dogs yawn yell or his sleep barks

Tagging: @a-krelboyne , @andrewgarfieldslut , @gremlin4goro , @insomniac-arrest (since i tagged you in the body of the post anyway), @seraphbutch , and anyone else

[mars-onthe-moon]

I saw that picture(s) you just did of Bill and Dipper (lol, they were just being funny in that one), and it mentioned Covid.

Did you get Covid? If so, I hope you feel better. I caught something too recently (either Covid, Strept throat, or the Stomach Flu) and it put me out of commission for like a week (too), give or take less too, and I am just now, kind of getting over it. So I hope you feel better soon too; being sick sucks.

Also, when you are feeling better, I am excited to see ur Mabcifica animation! And it is going to be angsty too! Nice. Even nicer, since your last 2 animations have been more comedic; though still great.

Ur Bill and Ford was funny btw (I esp. love when Ford starts speaking, I think it was Japanese? And then starts levitating, mainly due to the context reasons why Ford is doing so), and ur animation with Mabel, Soos, and the Fairies was so funny and so underrated. Soos, little laugh at the end and the "I am dead"/"I am so dead" (can't remember if that line had a "so" or not) was so SO funny.

My BillDip heart hopes one day to see a BillDip animation from ya, but I still love the animations you have done/will do regardless.

P.S.: I really like ur BillDip fic; one of my favs. And sorry for the anon on this Ask. I got a bit nervous/shy for some reason.

Yeah, unfortunately I think I picked it up from work. So, I’ve been resting mostly. I’m just now starting to draw and write again because, man- those first five days were killer. Now I just have this cough that won’t go away, but fever wise I’m all good, so, thank you! Yeah, being sick is no fun. Its like, on one hand I’ve gotten to miss some work, but on the other, I’m too sick to enjoy the days off. Glad you’re starting to feel better tho and hopefully it’s gone for good soon!

Legit, thank you for your feedback! It’s honestly nice to hear because I feel like I put out the most random shiz content.. so no one is gonna follow it in it’s entirety, but here you are proving me wrong and I’m psyched!

Making the crack animation is so fun. I mean, I love angst and ship art too, but finding funny tiktok sounds and then drawing my goofy boy Bill is a mood boost. Levitating Stanford sends me.

Also, glad the audio worked out for the fairies one! Because I had to splice that Bob’s Burger ep with audio from ‘Soos and the real girl’ and I was worried about the quality diffs.

I have a few billdip animation idea’s in my drafts, so maybe I’ll start to focus on some of those! I honestly have like waaaaay to many billdip wips in general, that I start and then never finish 😅 so yeah, I’ll start going through those!

Thanks about the fic! It’s my first and only one so I really appreciate that! I’ve been in like writer’s/editor block for too long now, I really need to just post the chapters that I have. So, since I have till Friday before work starts up again, I’ll try and get that up for y’all!

Hehe sneak peek time. Rn I’m working on a Bill animation, magical girl style! So, I’ll try to be posting that in the near future as well!

[spaceumbredoggos]

Kenz x Bill in So Much for Stardust is part satire against Billdip/Billford shipping and part satisfying my urge to let Bill do things to me that are dangerous to anyone’s mental health. Thats why a lot of his iffy behavior is implied and not outright said in detail. Kenz X Bill by definition is a proship, and it’s more so told as a person escaping lifetimes of abuse rather than the abuse and relationship itself.

Kenz won’t end up with someone romantically in the end (maybe with Bee way way way after the events of So Much For Stardust.) All those scenes where Kenz is getting romantically involved with consenting adults is them indulging in an unhealthy coping mechanism or being a slave to their Umbredoggo biology. Which is another plot device I use as satire for omegaverse and the furry community. It’s not being mean making fun of the furry community or omegaverse, it is more so an inside joke made to make fun of the fact that furries are cringe and kinda into anthropomorphic animals, most notably wolves and foxes. A lot of So Much For Stardust’s plot is dramatically written edgy satire poking fun at proships, omegaverse, forced religious plot lines (think all the prophecy shit that happens in warrior cats, which is where a fuck ton of the hellverse shit comes up), and authority figures being major idiots (My interpretation of the Axolotl is that he’s a major Cornelius Fudge level idiot that decays into a state of self preservation.)

The reason why Ford and the Pines are generally friends with IMP and there’s no general hatred for hellborn demons and hellaverse characters is because Gravity Falls is a general place of religious trauma. Also, I like to write Ford and Stolas having some sort of crush on each other but it’s very minor and it’s more an excuse to write two confused owls try to figure out parenting adult children with Blitzø. Kenz fits the role as Ford’s adoptive child, and a lot of Kenz’s angst comes from general hatred for parental figures.

I had a feeling that it would be shitty to remove Kenz from their family, but the reason I did that was because one, I wanted to showcase how powerful Bill had gotten, two, I wanted to use this to poke fun of the forced religious plot, and three, I am processing how close to homelessness I myself have gotten too, and how easily I could end up alone myself. A lot of Kenz’s backstory is based on my own that is dramatized (bill didn’t fuck up my childhood and things happen for a reason) and So Much For Stardust is basically about healing from generations of trauma.

Rabid Dipper is my love letter to whump. I want there to be a shit ton of romantic tension between Kenz and Dipper later on, without it getting gross. I had a crush on Dipper as a kid, and now I see him as something to protect. Like an adorable baby cactus or a baby crocodile with Cheerios balanced on his head. Not in a pedo way, more like a protective older sibling way.

That being said, Kenz (not IRL Kenz, being me) would be a shitty partner but an amazing friend. Kenz often goes through back and forth phases of being super promiscuous to being completely abstinent, mostly due to umbredoggo biology. Kenz tried to basically use sex as a coping mechanism. Kenz has a lot of intimacy issues and trauma, and I write more of those than the sex itself. Kenz is far better at platonic relationships, and loves physical contact. They’re touch starved.

Kenz’s autism isn’t because they’re part Umbredoggo. They’d be autistic without it. A lot of the Umbredoggo stuff is also me trying to figure out my own non-physical identity. As a kid, I would identify as a cat and would hiss at my father from the trees in the yard. I still question if I’m a therian or otherkin a lot of times, and I’m scared to come out. I’m scared to age regress or pet regress or to involve myself in the therian/otherkin community because of my fear of loss of autonomy, something that Kenz deals with all the fucking time.

Anyways, Check out So Much For Stardust. I update it at least once weekly on this blog. Once it’s done, it will be posted on Wattpad, Quotev, and AO3. I work super hard on this fanfic and I would really appreciate if it got the love I feel it deserves. It’s in its initial rough draft phase, and even when all the chapters are written, I still won’t be done with it. I still have to write more drafts of the chapters and eventually make a final draft. There’s a whole multiverse involved with alternate versions of Kenz from alternate universes (A Pokemon version, a warrior cats version, a Pokemon mystery dungeon version. Fuck. They’re even a FNAF animatronic version.) This blog is basically all about the Kenzverse (Yeah, that’s what I’ll call it.)

[illmissthecrowning]

I posted 2,740 times in 2022

That's 2,739 more posts than 2021!

25 posts created (1%)

2,715 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thefirstpaleontologist

@thebctman

@animate-mush

@natasharomanovofficial

@ameba-from-space

I tagged 389 of my posts in 2022

#dracula daily - 150 posts

#jonathan harker - 72 posts

#mina harker - 70 posts

#mina murray - 62 posts

#dracula - 50 posts

#andor - 39 posts

#star wars - 29 posts

#andor spoilers - 20 posts

#jonmina - 16 posts

#toh - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also maybe it's just me but people who are mentally ill but don't have issues with psychosis calling him pathetic really bothers me for some

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

so the logical conclusion is for Ryan Reynolds to play Poseidon now

32 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#4

I am going to THROW HANDS.  

You’re telling me, that Mabel receives more hate for falling into Bill’s trap, when she had just received multiple upsetting revelations and was emotionally vulnerable, by making a deal with someone she believed to be relatively friendly and handed something that she NEVER would’ve handed over if Dipper and Ford had trusted her and told her the importance of, because she wants a way to spend more time with the people she loves,

than Dipper does for knowingly making a deal with Bill.  

And to be clear, I don’t really blame either of them!  Dipper had spent so much time trying to discover who the author is, and in the panic of all of that going up in smoke, he made a seemingly innocuous deal.  My point is, everyone gives Mabel crap for being selfish, when 1) She didn’t know it was Bill 2) She didn’t know the stakes and 3) her whole world had just turn upside town and she was about to loose the person she cares about the most.  Dipper 1) knew it was Bill. 2) was just motivated by uncovering a mystery (which isn’t a bad motivation, but still)

And I understand the whole point about “Mabel never does anything for Dipper,”  and I’m not about to go into a whole analysis about every moment Dipper sacrifices something for Mabel.  I will say that a lot of the times Dipper gave something up for Mabel, that “something” was his pursuit of Wendy.  Both Dipper and Mabel are possessive, and both of them have to learn this lesson.  Mabel was absolutely right in wanting to keep Waddles, and Mermando finding his family was more important than Dipper having a job to hang out with Wendy.  Both instances were about Dipper wanting to control the variables to try to date Wendy, and eventually he had to learn to let their relationship grow naturally, whether or not it went the way he wanted.

Both of the Dipper twins are selfish; but both of them learn, and ultimately prioritize the other.  It’s easier to dismiss Mabel’s choice in the puppet episode, as puppet guy was a jerk and just a crush, and Wendy is a great person and friend, but Mabel still makes the choice to prioritize her twin (and, y’know, the fate of the world) over her crush.  Just like Dipper has.  

It’s ok to not vibe with Mabel; it’s ok if you find her kind of annoying.  But just because Dipper tends to drive the plot forward, and therefore feels more well-rounded, doesn’t mean he’s better, or that she’s a horrible person/character.

82 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#3

All of y’all clowns who are using Reva “killing” the Grand Inquisitor and “breaking the canon” as an excuse to unnecessarily racist, sexist and nitpicking are getting on my last nerve.

If y’all were half the star wars fan you claimed to be you’d remember to numerous times a dark side character has been brought back from death (hint: they showed it at the beginning of Kenobi’s first episode 😌). He’s not dead, and y’all just need to be honest: if Reva was a white man y’all would love them. For crying out loud, Leia was more annoying than Reva this episode.

It’s ok if you don’t love her character, but the amount of hate she’s getting is ridiculous, and clearly hatefully motivated.

138 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#2

The only “Enola Holmes 2” review I care about is that my 50-year-old, Army Colonel, Sherlock Holmes super-fan dad enjoyed it and and thought it was better than the first (which he also liked)

207 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

what the crap

1,128 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[handeaux]

17 Curious Facts About Cincinnati Cats And Cincinnati's Curious Cat Fanciers

What Is A Cat Worth?

A cat, according to C.G. Pemberton of Withamsville, is worth the same as a Ford motor car or a Chandler & Price Gordon-Style printing press. That’s according to a classified advertisement Mr. Pemberton placed in the Cincinnati Post on 14 June 1921. Intriguingly, he offered his printing press in exchange for either a Ford, or a tomcat, or a yellow dog, or an “educated bluejay.” One suspects there is a curious story there, but the Post never investigated. Maybe it was code for a bootlegging operation.

An Alligator Cat?

Nellie Isaminger was a popular nurse at the City Hospital, where she supervised the staff in Ward K. She was also the owner of a most curious feline. The cat was born at the hospital and considered quite intelligent. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer [10 May 1897]: “The peculiarity of the animal is that all its four legs are only an inch long, so that the animal is forced to proceed alligator fashion, by dragging its stomach on the ground and wriggling its shoulders and hind quarters to aid locomotion.” Miss Isaminger named her unusual cat Dot.

A Kangaroo Cat?

Thomas Evans, a salesman living on York Street in Newport, invited the Kentucky Post to photograph his “kangaroo cat” in 1914. The little kitten, just five weeks old, was born with only two little bumps where his forelegs should be, and taught itself to get around by hopping on its hind legs. For normal locomotion, the two rear legs sufficed, but when in a hurry, the little feller employed his tail as an additional extremity.

The Traitor Cat

Bessie Cline, of 210 Broadway, had a cat named after herself. Mrs. Cline hated rats and her feline namesake was a good ratter, so they got along famously. Bessie, the cat, birthed four little kittens and Mrs. Cline envisioned an entire platoon of rat-chasers. And then, as the Post [9 July 1930] reported, Mrs. Cline’s son Frederick announced that two more kittens had joined the brood. On inspection, Mrs. Cline found Bessie nursing two young rats. The Post consulted experts, who said mother cats nurturing rodents was normal. Mrs. Cline was not amused.

The Tomcat Peace Warrant

A cat sent two Cumminsville women into court in 1907. It seems four-year-old Helene Meyder brought a tomcat home, without mentioning that the cat actually belonged to Thelma Vorherr, who lived just a couple doors away on Collins (now Cass) Street. Thelma, discovering her pet had been cat-napped, charged up the block and let Minnie Meyder, Helene’s mother, know exactly what she thought of her and the horse she rode in on. The very air was blued and Minnie went to court to get a peace warrant, forcing Thelma Vorherr to keep her opinions to herself.

An Official Cat Catcher?

For many years, Cincinnati had an official dog catcher – a job either thankless or repellant depending on one’s opinions of canines. In 1908, a songbird-loving Cincinnati City Councilman named Robert O’Brien sponsored legislation that would have required all cats in the city to be licensed at a cost of one dollar annually, to be tagged, to be muzzled while at large and to be removed from the streets and disposed of if found in violation. O’Brien’s ordinance, which failed in committee, would have created the position of official cat catcher.

Curiosity Caught The Cat

Marion Scarborough owned a Persian cat she valued, in 1934, at $300 – or almost $6,500 in today’s dollars. While she worked downtown as a stenographer, she was in the habit of letting the pet sun itself on the roof of the apartment building she lived in at 3209 Reading Road. One day she returned and her cat was missing. A diligent search found the curious feline stuck in the elbow joint of a downspout. Ladder Company Number 4, more familiar with getting cats out of trees, engaged in some creative plumbing to free the embarrassed cat.

Bill Taft The Hunter

In the early days of the Twentieth Century, the ink-stained wretches who wrote for Cincinnati’s many newspapers constituted the Pen & Pencil Club and met in a suite of rooms in the old Grand Opera Building on Vine Street, south of Sixth. They shared their clubhouse with a cat named Bill Taft. (The future President and Chief Justice was a newspaper man before he took up politics.) Bill – the cat not the politician – was famous for hunting sparrows on Fountain Square and dragging their little carcasses back to the Opera House.

Cat On The Beat

The Hammond Street Police Station went into mourning in the spring of 1878. Corporal Tom was missing and presumed dead. Tom was a tomcat, known as a good mouser, and had made his home at the Hammond Street Station since 1864. Though only accorded corporal status, Tom stood next to the lieutenant at every roll call and inspected each patrolman. When the station was closed for renovations, Tom moved temporarily to the St. James Hotel, but returned during the ribbon cutting of the new station. Before he disappeared, Tom had been showing the effects of old age. He was never found.

100 Percent Episcopalian Cats

Harry Leist, longtime sexton at St. Paul’s Cathedral at the northeast corner of Seventh and Plum streets, had a cat population explosion going in 1930. Mine No. 1, the cathedral’s unlikely named official mouser, had just given birth to three coal-black kittens. Bishop Henry Wise Hobson decreed that one kitten might stay with its mother, but the other two would have to go. Then, Mine No. 1’s mother, ensconced at the diocesan house, delivered five more kittens. Harry called the newspapers and announced that, even though all the kittens were 100 percent Episcopalian, he would place them with any kind-hearted soul, regardless of creed.

The Manx Monster

Although firemen have been identified with Dalmatian dogs for many years, Cincinnati’s firehouses often found a warm corner for a mascot cat. Usually the feline guest was a local tomcat of indeterminate lineage but, in 1901, Engine Company 23 in Walnut Hills adopted a pet so unusual, lines formed to get a gander at it. His name was Alexander and he was dropped off by a neighbor, who informed the fireman it was a Manx cat, from the Isle of Man, with a tiny nubbin of a tail and six claws on each foot. Alexander chased off Horace, the incumbent mouser, and usurped his duties.

A Guard Cat

It was fairly common for public establishments in Cincinnati to keep a cat around, mostly for pet control. Joseph Hahnel, who ran a café at Sixth and Monmouth streets in Newport, learned a good cat also provided excellent security. Around midnight one evening in 1926, a dog barged into Hahnel’s café while showing all the signs of rabies and attacked two customers. One jumped on top of a pool table, while the other sought refuge on the bar. Tabby, Hahnel’s elderly tomcat, was awakened by the commotion and leapt upon the intruder, chasing the rabid pooch into the night.

Don’t Mess With The Pressroom Cat

From time to time, most Cincinnati newspapers found space for an office cat and the old Commercial Gazette was no exception. In 1889, a very comfortable and very jealous cat had staked out its domain in the fifth-floor stereotyping department. Somehow, a strange cat found its way upstairs and marched into the stereotyping room as if it owned the place. The established feline took offense, there was a swirling cyclone of fur and claws and the newcomer leaped out an open window, five floors up, on the Race Street side. All worked stopped and the men ran over to catch a glimpse of the corpse, but all they saw was one defeated tomcat running, hell-bent for leather, through the Race Street crowds.

A Master Mendicant

The cat had no name. It was a non-descript grey tomcat and it hung around the Central Union Depot – Cincinnati’s largest train station before Union Terminal replaced it. One day in 1910, the tomcat used up one of his nine lives by zigging when it should have zagged as a baggage truck rolled by, shearing off one of the poor tom’s feet. The wound healed and the lucky tomcat learned to milk sympathy and treats from women passengers in particular. The little beggar haunted the lunch counters and dining tables, purring and rubbing against a silk-stockinged leg until a few cuddles and some sustenance was forthcoming.

Cat Bones In The Privy

Who dumped 60 kittens in a West End privy in 1885? More importantly, why? Mark S. Warner and Robert A. Genheimer, in a 2008 paper published in Historical Archaeology, describe the excavation of a privy in Cincinnati’s Betts-Longworth district from which they recovered a large quantity of cat bones, mostly from kittens. Although they offer several theories, ranging from urban sanitation to animal population control to carcass disposal to antisocial behavior, the authors admit there is no conclusive evidence for any of the hypotheses.

Cat’s Ghost Made Me Do It

For all of her unhappy life, Isabelle Phelps claimed to be haunted by the ghost of her cat. It was the spirit of this dead cat, she said, that drove her to murder. Isabelle was self-employed, peddling toiletries on the streets while living in a tenement on Richmond Street in Cincinnati’s West End. She was often on the road to Dayton, Miamisburg, Lebanon, Middletown and Hamilton, where she sometimes took rooms with the Walker family. One morning in 1911 at breakfast, Isabelle pulled a gun from her waistband and shot her landlord in the head at point-blank range, then fired the rest of the bullets at Mrs. Walker. Her defense – that the ghost of her cat was responsible – did not sway the court. She was remanded to the Lima State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. She died there, a victim of cholera, in 1926.

Thauwald’s Amazing Cat

In 1901, Theodore Thauwald ran a saloon on Richmond Street at Central Avenue. Mr. Thauwald had a most peculiar cat named Terry McGovern II, named for a noted bantamweight boxer of the day. This cat displayed unique markings in the fur along its back, neck and head, resembling a snake. Instead of charming little birds with its eyes, like other cats, Terry used his secret weapon, approaching sparrows with his nose held close to the pavement, the snake-like pattern in full view. Exposed to the cat’s serpentine design, birds froze in fright and were easily dispatched. And then the witnesses adjourned to Herr Thauwald’s tavern for a drink.