#Misha Collins angst

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Your Little Secret

Pairing: Misha Collins x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Warnings: 19 year age gap, implied smut

Request by @jessicalynnann: Jordan.!!! I need me a good happy story… with some angst and smut well because it is me lol. How about one where Misha is your dad’s best friend and he is attracted to you and he shouldn’t be and one night he comes over to check on you cause your parents are away and walks in on you and a guy and gets jealous and then he throws him out so sexy time ensues.

Summary: You come home for the summer after your first year in college. Everyone looks different, the farm is different, the town is different and Misha Collins is definitely different. Older men are what get you going, and you're going to make it a goal this summer to get as much as Misha Collins as you can.

Square Filled: "you weren't supposed to hear that" (2023) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: in this fic, Misha is 41 and you're 22

x

After a year in college, you’re back home for summer break. As much as you loved dorm life with your friends, you miss the farm life back home. Your dad owns a really big farm with lots of animals that he uses to make money off of. He sells the cow’s milk, the chicken’s eggs, and the sheep’s wool while still upholding the value of the property. He has a section of land for vegetables that he grows but he mostly keeps that for himself.

You’re staying with him for the entire summer which is the best time to be on the farm. In the winter, the snow ruins almost everything about it so the summer is the perfect time to get a lot of shit done. 

Once you get your luggage from baggage claim, you make your way over to the pickup section of the airport, waiting for your ride. When you see your dad’s beaten old pickup truck, you make your way over to him. Instead of him getting out, your older brother does with a crooked smile.

“Y/N!”

“Mason!”

You drop your luggage and run into his arms for a big hug. You haven’t seen him in years since he went off to college on the other side of the country. At least you stayed a bit closer to your home. He graduated not long ago and decided to move back home to help out with the family.

“How’s college life treating you?”

“It’s only the first year. I got a dorm next year with the friends I made this year so that’s good.”

“Awesome. Man, you won’t believe what’s been happening in this town,” he chuckles.

He grabs your luggage and heaves it into the trunk. You both get in the car and off you go back home.

“Alright, spill it. What did I miss?”

“Dad is doing more volunteer work, your old high school teacher, Ms. Bromwell got arrested for fooling around with her senior students, we got a new mayor, and Mom has the hots for the new Pastor.”

“Of course, she does,” you laugh. Ever since she got divorced from Dad, she’s been moving around town in not the best way. Still, you love her to pieces. “Glad to be home.”

“Oh, and Misha is back in town.”

Your entire body goes still at the mention of his name.

“How is he doing?”

“He’s alright, I guess,” Mason shrugs.

Misha is your dad’s best friend who grew up only a few doors down from you. He was always present at every birthday party, every time you snuck out of the house, when you first got your license, when you got ready for Prom, and when you graduated high school. When you got to that age when you started caring how you look for boys’ attention, you were really getting dolled up for him. You have had a major crush on him for years now but you were too young to do something about it.

He is nineteen years older than you but you don’t care. You’re fresh in college, you’re not a little girl anymore, and you know what you want. You want Misha and you’re going to make it your goal to get him this summer, even if it only lasts a couple of months. He might see you as a child and as his best friend’s daughter but you’re going to change that soon enough.

Mason reaches the house in record time and helps bring in your bags.

“Dad! We’re home,” he announces.

“Y/N!” your dad greets you and brings you in for a hug. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”

“Glad to be home, Dad,” you smile.

“You remember Misha, right?”

You turn to face him and your mouth actually goes dry. Damn, he looks good. Seeing him is sending tingles up and down your body that you shouldn’t have for your dad’s best friend. He smiles and that almost makes you melt right there.

“Y/N, it’s been a long time.”

He brings you in for a hug and all your senses are filled with him. His cologne is making your head dizzy and you can feel his muscles underneath his clothes.

“Yeah, it has,” you chuckle.

“Do you need help unpacking?”

“No, I got it,” you quickly say and pull away from him. “Thank you, though.”

You grab your bag and immediately head upstairs before you make a fool out of yourself. He watches you walk up the stairs with a controlled look on his face. There is no way he is going to give away what he’s thinking.

The day you came in was a day for relaxing, but the next morning is when your contribution begins. You wake up right as the sun is peeking over the horizon and get dressed in short coveralls and a sports bra. You tie your hair into a messy bun and grab a woven basket before heading out to the chicken coops.

Most of the hens have laid eggs that you collect without issue. There are a few with attitudes but you know how to handle them. It doesn’t matter how long you spend away from home, the work is engraved in your head. You bend down to collect some more eggs when you hear someone shuffle against the wood chips behind you, and you gasp while turning around.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Misha chuckles.

“What are you doing up?”

“Same as you.”

“You wanted to get the eggs from the chickens, too?”

“Okay,” Misha chuckles, “maybe not the same reason.” You smile at him and move on to the hens on the other side of the coop. “So, how is college going?”

“So far so good. I got a dorm with my friends next year so that’s good. Classes are great.”

“Meet anyone over there?”

“You mean like a boyfriend?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he nods.

Is he fishing for information? What if you say yes? Are you going to make him jealous? This is a good opportunity to mess with him but you resist. It’s too early in your relationship to make such bold decisions. For now, you keep it safe.

“No. I’m not into men my age. I like them older,” you flirt subtly.

“I see,” he nods.

“So, tell me something, you’re well off with money. Why are you still in this town? The people stay here because they can’t go anywhere else.”

“Your dad is well off but he stays.”

“He’s been in this town for decades. He can’t leave,” you chuckle.

“Same here. I grew up here.” You raise an eyebrow and he laughs. “I don’t know. I feel like there is something here for me still. Maybe someone.”

“Is that your way of telling me you’re single?”

“Maybe.”

“I see,” you copy his response.

You finish grabbing all the eggs and bring them inside with Misha. It’s time for breakfast now because your dad and Mason are going to be up soon. There are dozens of eggs so what better way than to make some omelettes with some of the fresh vegetables from the farm? 

One of your favorite apps these days is Tik Tok which your best friend introduced you to. It has all sorts of videos that can keep you entertained for hours, and some of your favorite videos to watch are prank videos. One of the ones going around is where someone is cooking eggs and decides to crack one on someone’s head instead of doing it on the counter or the side of a pan.

You look at Misha who is washing his hands with a smirk. You grab twelve eggs to cook with and set the rest of them off to the side. You take one of the eggs and swiftly crack the egg on Misha’s forehead. He flinches from shock and you hold in your giggle as you pour the egg into the pan.

You grab another egg to do it again but Misha is quick on his feet. He moves out of the way and wipes the egg whites that you left on his skin. He reaches out to touch you but you squeal and move out of the way.

“This isn’t how this works!” you laugh.

Misha grabs your waist and pulls you into him, and he teases you by hovering his slimy hands above your face. You squirm to get away from him but end up moving your body closer to him. You turn to face him and lock eyes. He looks down briefly before something changes in his body language and in his eyes. He clears his throat and steps away from you to put some distance between you two.

“I should get going.”

“Why? Breakfast hasn’t even started yet.”

“I got stuff to do.”

“Stuff?”

Just then, your dad comes jogging down the stairs because you know he smelled the eggs cooking.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” your dad asks and grabs water from the fridge.

“Helping Y/N out but I’m leaving now.”

Misha washes his hands and leaves without another word. You watch him leave with a frown as you rake your brain to figure out where things took a turn.

A few days later, your dad wanted to have a barbecue for everyone in town at the farm. He has the biggest property in town so it makes sense to turn the farm into something the entire town can enjoy. Almost everyone from town is in your backyard, and your dad sets up games for the kids to play, a small bar with a keg of beer for the adults, and lots of good food. The one job he gave you was to keep the keg stocked with beer but the one he has must have the nozzle broken because it’s not dispensing beer correctly.

Misha shows up expecting to have a good time when he spots you bent over the keg wearing short shorts and an almost see-through tank top. He clenches his jaw in frustration and storms over to you. You’re too busy to see him heading your way, and you yank the nozzle the wrong way because beer sprays all over your shirt.

“Shit,” you gasp and jump back.

Beer flows out of the nozzle so you quickly turn it off before any more goes to waste. You grab the ends of your shirt to take it off when Misha grabs your elbow.

“What the hell?”

“What? I got beer on myself.”

“Taking off your shirt with children around is inappropriate.”

“It’s not like I’ll be showing my boobs to everyone. I have a sports bra underneath this.”

“Here.” He sheds off his jacket and gives it to you to wear. “Go inside and change.”

“Yes, sir,” you say sarcastically and walk away from him.

Misha resists the urge to grab you and punish you for your bratty attitude. You’re not sure what has gotten into him these last couple of days because he’s been angry with you. You’ve tried flirting with him but nothing has come of it and you’re not one of those girls to just wait around for a guy. If he doesn’t want you, there are plenty of other men who do. There was a young man at the barbecue that you connected with and kept in touch with after the event was over.

Your dad is going to be out of town for a couple of days with your brother which means you have the house to yourself. What better way to spend your time than with the new guy you met? Misha has mixed feelings about you because you’re his best friend’s daughter. You’re unsponkingly off limits. If Jensen knew the kind of thoughts he was having about his daughter, he would kill him for sure.

Maybe if he talks to you, he can understand what he’s feeling and figure out what to do about it. He walks over to your house and uses the key Jensen gave him for emergencies only. He has to check on you anyway per Jensen’s request so he doesn’t think much when he walks inside your house. It’s usually quiet until he hears something that makes all his blood go straight to his cock.

You are moaning upstairs. 

The thing that pisses him off is he hears a man moan right after you. He should just leave but he rushes upstairs with the intent of ruining your evening. He doesn’t mean to be an asshole but he’s thinking with his downstairs brain and not his upstairs one. He practically busts down the door to see the guy you met naked on top of you.

“What the fuck!” you gasp and push the man off you.

Misha is too pissed to see that you’re fully naked in front of him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The guy you’re with stutters since he’s too scared by Misha’s presence. “Get the hell out of here.”

The guy gathers his clothes and rushes out of the room, and you pull your robe on to give you some sort of decency.

“What the hell are you doing here? Why did you run him off?” you gasp in anger.

“You know, when your dad asked me to check on you while he was away, I’d figure I see you in here drinking, maybe smoking some weed, not fucking some boy you just met.”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, I did.”

“You thought it was okay to come here close to the middle of the fucking night? You couldn’t have waited until morning?”

“I’m not going to let my best friend’s daughter get pregnant by some kid she doesn’t know.”

“I have condoms.”

“It’s irresponsible.”

“Why do you even care what goes on in my bedroom? It’s not like you’re in it,” you cross your arms.

If you’re going to do this, may as well go all out. Misha chuckles but it’s not an amused chuckle, it’s a dark chuckle like you better watch what you say next or he’ll punish you.

“You wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

The laugh you give is almost an amused one.

“An old guy like you? The only thing I won’t be able to handle is how short it’ll be. Wouldn’t want to throw out your back, now would we?”

Misha’s smirk is lost as he stalks towards you. You back up but are stopped by the dresser.

“Sweetheart, I’d ruin other men for you.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Misha looks like he wants to but listens to the rational part of his brain. He shakes his head and starts to walk away from you. “That’s what I thought.” You scoff. “I want you to leave because I have a date with my vibrator which has batteries that will last longer than you.” 

Misha snaps and turns so quickly that you don’t have time to react. He grabs your waist and tosses you onto the bed causing your robe to open enough to show your breasts. He looks down at your chest and reaches out to touch one of your breasts but resists at the last second.

“Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“I’m nineteen years older than you.”

“And?”

“You’re my best friend’s daughter.”

“And?” you chuckle.

Misha stares into your eyes to see if you mean what you say. When he doesn’t see a shred of regret he leans down and kisses you. He reaches into your robe and palms your breasts before allowing you to shred the piece of clothing. It’s passionate. It’s sensual. It’s intimate. It’s everything you want and more. He’s so much different than anyone you’ve ever been with. He takes care of you three times before he even thinks about himself; once on his tongue, once on his fingers, and once more on his cock.

It’s hours before you’re done and you pant heavily next to him.

“Yeah, you have ruined other men for me,” you laugh.

“You can’t tell your dad about this. He’d murdered me.”

“Eh, I don’t tell him a lot of things anyway.”

You lean over and kiss him again, ready for a round two.

x

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[zepskies]

Love, By Any Other Name

Pairing: Castiel x F. Reader

Summary: You want him. Castiel can’t help but crave you. Dean sees both of you and wishes you’d stop being idiots.

AN: This is my first ever commission! Written for @girlsforpjm, who requested "mutual pining" with Castiel. Here you go, lovely! I sincerely hope you enjoy it. 💜

**Also, this is set during season 12.

Song Inspo: “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak

Word Count: 4,500

Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, angst, blood and injury, (contains events from 12.12), fluff, some spice, implied smut.

“Achooo!!”

Sam grimaces while he watches you wipe your nose against your bare wrist. You shake your head and frown at the dusty tomes piled high beside you. You and Sam have been organizing the library for two hours now.

“That’s it, I can’t do this anymore,” you lament. “I need a break. My sinuses need a break.”

Sam’s lips twitch at a smile. “It’s okay. I got the rest of these.”

You aim a lazy salute at your friend and continue to sniffle as you leave the library. You circle this labyrinth of a bunker for a while, but you can’t seem to find the trench coat-wearing angel that’s supposed to live here too.

You end up in the garage, where Dean is tuning up his Baby. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, and he’s got a grease stain across his cheek.

“Hey, you seen Cas?” you ask.

Dean barely perks up from under Baby’s hood to answer you. “He went out this morning. Haven’t seen him since.”

You pout at that, leaning against the side of the car near where Dean is tinkering.

“Is it too much to ask for him to leave a note or something?” you mutter.

Dean finally glances over at you. His lips edge at a smirk.

“What, miss your little boyfriend?” he teases.

The insinuation manages to take you by surprise. Your face starts to warm in embarrassment, but you cover it with a scoff.

“You should know. He was your boyfriend first,” you volley back. Dean’s expression flattens in annoyance.

“Don’t you have anything better to do right now?” he snarks.

“Nope,” you reply, popping the “P.” But you have mercy on him.

Instead of pestering him further, you just tip over the screwdriver he had balanced on the car’s frame. He makes a sound of protest as it falls somewhere between the gears inside his precious car.

He barks your name, and his angry voice echoes on the walls to magnify his frustration, but you’re already hastening back into the hall and down to the kitchen, trying to stifle your laughter.

You’ve slipped into the kitchen to escape. Yet that’s where you find the bunker’s resident angel, washing his hands of what looks like breadcrumbs in the sink.

“Hey,” you greet him jovially. He treats you with a small smile. “Where were you?”

“Oh, nowhere really. Just stepped out for a bit,” he replies. You get the sense that he’s hiding something. You smile and step closer to him, leaning a hand on the counter.

“Oh, yeah? Where?” you ask. Your eyes gleam with amusement. “Another ‘mission on high?’”

He sends you a droll look. “No.”

You tug on his sleeve. “Come on. Tell me.”

He smiles in return, and he gives you his own version of teasing.

“Childishness doesn’t become you,” he says.

“I’m just curious. You’ve been gone all day,” you reply, tilting your head. Your stare is unyielding, and familiar; Cas knows how stubborn you can be when you want something—especially information. Sometimes he finds it annoying, but in moments like these, it’s tempered by your playful, endearing smile.

“I was on a walk,” he finally admits.

You raise your brows. “A walk? Cas, it’s winter. Like 20 degrees outside.”

“I enjoy nature,” he shrugs. “The cold doesn’t bother me much anyway.”

…Well, he is an angel. You suppose it makes sense that he doesn’t feel the frigid weather like a human would. Your brow quirks with another curious thought.

“So you were washing your hands because…?” you ask.

Castiel’s face becomes a little more bashful. “I was feeding the birds some bread.”

At that, your smile grows. Here he is: Castiel, warrior angel of the Lord, Feeder of Pigeons.

“Well, if you ever want a walking companion, I’d be happy to join you,” you offer.

Castiel gives you a certain look, like he doesn’t quite believe you. 

Your lips purse. “What?”

He sinks his hands into his pockets as he leans his slightly hunched form back on his heels.

“Nothing,” he claims. “It’s only, I seem to remember you forcing Dean to kill a spider in your room. You claimed, and I quote, bastard things that crawl don’t belong indoors.”

You cross your arms and stare back at him narrowly, even though you try to stifle a smile.

“What’s your point? Everyone’s afraid of spiders,” you reason.

He raises a brow. “You also claim to have a vendetta against birds.”

“Pigeons, Castiel. They’re rats with wings.” Even Dean would agree with you on that one.

Castiel gives you a dubious look, however.

“Forgive me if I’m skeptical of your supposed love of nature,” he says drolly.

You want to argue more, but Sam enters the room with Dean on his heels. Both men seem to sense they’ve interrupted something. You clear your throat and turn to them.

“What’s up?” you ask, more nonchalant than you feel whenever you’re near the angel beside you. Castiel glances at you, before he too silently addresses Sam and Dean.

“Uh, we’ve caught a case,” Sam says. “It’s not far. Three dead, all with their hearts, and most of their internal organs ripped out.”

“Ech,” you reply with a grimace. “Sounds kind of like a ghoul. Maybe a werewolf on steroids?”

“Well, they were fresh kills, and it’s a full moon. So more than likely we’re looking at werewolves,” he replies.

You smile thinly. “Great.”

You hate werewolves.

Correction: you really hate werewolves.

The thought hits you yet again as you lay on the floor of a dusty old hunting cabin.

The irony.

Dean hefts you in his arms, after slicing his silver blade through the heart of the yellow-eyed bastard that tore you open with his claws.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” you ask, hating how your voice trembles. Dean doesn’t answer you at first. He holds his hand to the oozing gash in your side.

“Nah, you’ll be okay. Just hang in there,” he says. Blood quickly covers his palm. He curses inside his mind.

“Cas!” he calls out roughly.

The angel had been fighting in the other the room with Sam, but after he burns out the eyes of the last werewolf and its body falls to the ground, he hears the undercurrent of alarm in Dean’s shouting. With Sam on his heels, he returns to the living room to find you and Dean.

Castiel’s steps halt in the doorway when he sees you. His face slackens for a moment, but then he hardens. He moves forward swiftly.

“Move,” he says to Dean in order to come to your side. Dean’s eyes widen, but he does as he’s told after laying you down to the floor. 

Castiel stares down at your face, offering you comfort with his eyes. You stare up at him in pain, but also with hope, and trust. You’re able to curl your fingers around the edge of his trench coat.

Then he presses his hand to your cheek. He closes his eyes in concentration while he heals you. 

Though he expels more power than he should to heal you completely. He knows it when his body sways a little after he’s done. Dean grabs his shoulder to keep him steady.

“You good?” Dean asks.

Castiel nods; he’s more focused on the way you’re catching your breath. You marvel at how your wounds, your pain, and even your blood is gone—completely washed away. He helps you sit up with an arm wrapping around your shoulders. Then he gathers you tight against him, so he can help you stand as well. He wavers again on his feet, just a little, but you’re too perceptive not to catch it. You realize he did too much to save you.

You still chide at him with a frown. “You didn’t have to use up so much of your energy.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Think nothing of it.”

Those are useless words, but you don’t bother arguing with him anymore. You just sigh and hold onto his strong arms while regaining your balance. You know for a fact that you’re blushing when you glance up at him.

Biting your lip, you soon turn away to grab the knife you’d dropped in the fight.

Without you or Cas noticing, Sam and Dean share a knowing glance. It’s subtle, in the way the brothers have perfected. Dean barely curbs a smile as he leads the way back to the car. 

You settle next to Cas in the backseat and try not to glance at him too often. You don’t know that he’s trying not to do the same to you.

Dean glances back at you two in the rearview mirror. He shakes his head.

Idiots.

Mary Winchester has been a welcome return to the family…when she’s here. Ever since Amara brought her back, she’s been distant with her sons. You don’t understand it all that well, but it’s not your place to say anything, you don’t think.

You do think Mary is a badass hunter. You just don’t know her that well.

About a week after the werewolf hunt, Mary drops in with Wally, a fellow hunter in need of assistance with a demon problem. You, Sam, Dean, and Castiel are all game. While you haven’t had to deal with demons too much in the past, you know that they’re…something of a specialty for the Winchesters. 

But of course, it quickly goes to shit.

The demon lives alone, in some shack by a river where he likes to fish. The group of you wait until he’s stepped out of the house before you go inside and case the place, looking for a good spot to spray a Devil’s Trap or two and try to trap him.

When the demon returns, he’s far stronger than any of you anticipated. The Devil’s Trap breaks with little effort (the demon’s just laughing). Then he flashes yellow eyes. You and Castiel share a look of widening shock. Mary takes a preemptive step back.

And when the kitchen door is about to close on the three of you, the angel pushes you into the next room before you can turn and fight. Sam helps you back onto your feet, though you stare at the door in horror. He and Dean try to break the door down, but it’s no use. It’s supernaturally sealed. 

You felt useless standing there. You wrack your brain for a solution, and you glance out one of the windows. Maybe there’s another way into the kitchen!

“Guys! What if we go around?” you suggest.

With that idea taking root in each of you, Sam and Dean follow you outside. Before you guys can even make it around the house, Wally flags you down. 

“We’ve got incoming!” he says. And you realize what he means. A group of black-eyed demons are bounding toward the house.

Aw, shit. You’re grateful to have Sam and Dean beside you, because the demons nearly overtake all of you. You manage to hold your own, along with the brothers. Wally isn’t so fortunate. His body hits the floor after his own blade sinks into his chest.

A pit begins to form in your stomach as you scramble toward the Impala. The plan is to catch up with Mary; thanks to Cas, she’d been able to flee the demon strong enough to snap a Devil’s Trap like a cheap trick. But she’d then taken Cas with her to safety. 

Now, Dean drives the Impala down the road at breakneck speed. 

“Are you okay?” Sam asks his mother through the phone. The car is silent enough for you to hear Mary’s reply.

“…No.”

When you step into the barn, the first thing you have to focus on is Cas covered in his own blood. He’s been stabbed by one of the demon’s strange and powerful weapons, and he lies on an old, dingy couch. You hurry to Cas’s side and take in, your face filled with horror, though you try and fail to mask it. 

You reach out a hand, but you hesitate to touch him. Suffering is written across his face. He tries to stifle sounds of pain out of habit.

Tears are fresh in your eyes as you look down at him in dismay. You chance laying a hand on his shoulder. 

“Can you heal yourself?” you ask.

“No,” he answers eventually. “I think the demon’s spear was poisoned. I think I’m…”

No, your lower lip trembles as you shake your head.

“No,” you repeat aloud. “You just need time.”

You turn to Dean, who’s approached from behind you. But you quickly turn back to Cas, as if you’ll miss out on precious few moments. Castiel’s furrowed gaze tells you he’d rather not have you see him like this, but you don’t care. There’s no way you’re leaving his side. 

The weapon that was able to do this to him was the Lance of Michael, you all discover, when Crowley suddenly appears. He also informs you all that this is no ordinary demon. It’s Ramiel, Prince of Hell. You don’t give a shit about the specifics of how Crowley is wrapped up in this.

All you care about is if there’s a cure to Cas’s wounds. Crowley’s only words of wisdom are to leave the angel behind and run as fast as you can. 

He disappears before you can spit at him. 

“Cas, how bad is it?” Dean asks, after the King of Hell predictably makes a run for it. 

Castiel opened up his shirt collar to reveal a spiderweb of black crackling across his clammy skin, slowly breaking down his vessel. 

“Crowley’s right. You should go.”

Your hand tightens on his shoulder. “Cas—”

“No, listen to me,” he says, staring into your eyes. He continues with difficulty. “Look…thank you. Thank you. Knowing you all, it’s been the best part of my life. The things we’ve shared together, they have changed me… You’re my family, and I love you.”

His gaze had fallen on you, making your breath hitch. But his dark blue eyes travel to Sam and Dean next, and even Mary. 

“I love all of you.” The angel is the closest to tears and heartbreak that you’ve ever seen him. He struggles to hold himself together, in more ways than one. “Just, please, please don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run, and save yourselves, and I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.”

You’re shaking your head before he even finishes the sentence. Tears pour down your cheeks in silent streams, but you still hold him down when he tries to force his body to sit up. He doesn’t have the strength to resist you encouraging him to lie back down. 

Dean voices what you’re all thinking.

No. None of you would cut and run and leave him to die, no matter what Cas says. 

“Like you said, we’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.”

Ramiel comes for all of you, specifically for his stolen weapon. Killing the rest of you would just be an added bonus.

But while the four of you manage to pin down the demon with holy fire and a good fight, it’s Sam who manages to stab the Prince of Hell with Michael’s Lance, killing him in flash of brilliant light and rendering his body to ash. 

Of course, that’s when Crowley arrives once again, late holding his proverbial Starbucks. In this case, what would’ve been a mocha frappe is actually the Lance—and Crowley breaks it in half. It somehow reverses the curse of the blade, and therefore frees Castiel. 

He’s able to heal himself back to a full recovery. 

But also, rather predictably, Crowley disappears again before you all can recover yourselves. 

Sam and Dean help the angel back onto his feet. His clothes are still covered in blood, but his skin is clear and no longer clammy, his eyes no longer bloodshot. He’s shocked to still be alive, and you can barely contain yourself. Tears stream down your face as you surprise him with a hug.

Cas releases an oof, his body wavering just slightly before he plants his feet and wraps his arms around you. His hold tightens around your smaller frame, and he chances resting his chin on the top of your head.  

“So…you’re good?” Mary asks incredulously. 

Castiel raises his gaze to answer her. “I guess I am.”

You’re quiet for the rest of the drive home. Mary had taken her own car for the hunt, so it leaves you once again in the backseat with Castiel.

He finds your silence perturbing, though he doesn’t have the courage to ask you what’s wrong. Despite his full recovery, you still seem upset somehow. 

Part of him wants to reach out to you…but he stops himself. He also reminds himself not to stare at you. Instead, he turns his head back out the window. You felt his gaze on your profile, but you resolve to keep yours stubbornly out of your own window. 

The only one who notices the exchange, yet again through the rearview mirror, is Dean. His lips firm into a thoughtful frown. 

Home, sweet home, you think wryly when you enter the bunker. 

You give into the urge to beeline straight for your room without even turning your head. 

Sam and Mary follow suit, which leaves Castiel hesitating in the hall. Dean takes pity on him and claps his shoulder. 

“You okay, man?” he asks. Cas is staring after you like a man who’s lost his way.

“She’s…upset,” he replies, both confused and bothered by that fact.  

Dean’s lips twitch humorlessly. “Yeah, well, you almost died.”

“Yes,” Cas gives a wry nod. “But she seems upset at me.”

Dean has to smile for real. It’s plain as day what’s on his friend’s mind, and why. Just like it’s obvious as hell (at least to him) why you’re probably “upset.” As always, Dean takes up the role of wingman. 

“Why don’t you just go talk to her then?” he suggests.

Castiel hesitates. He’s not sure if he’d be intruding on you. The emotions of human women are foreign to him. They always have been, even when he was human, not so long ago. But he trusts Dean’s advice on these things.

So, he eventually nods. He means to follow you, but Dean stops him for a moment with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Maybe after you, uh, wash your clothes. Take a shower. Maybe shave a little,” he says, brushing his fingers over his own chin. “But uh, keep a little scruff. Some chicks dig that.”

“Shave my facial hair, but…keep my facial hair?” Cas tries to clarify. 

Dean blinks at his friend. Christ.

 “Okay, look, just clean yourself up,” he says. “You’ll be fine.”

With one last clap on the back, Dean disappears down the hall to his room. It leaves Castiel feeling somewhat unbalanced, but he treks the other way.

Normally he would restore his clothes with his powers, but he’d used up his reserves just to heal himself. There was a time when his connection to heaven was enough to do more than heal his own injuries. Now, however, both he and heaven itself are in a lesser state. 

Shaking his head, he goes down to the laundry room. He still remembers how to wash his own clothing. 

He unintentionally finds you there in the laundry room. You’ve peeled away your jacket that had been stained with his blood, and you’re tossing it into the machine. It leaves you in a thin shirt and jeans.

Castiel finds himself admiring your form; the familiar curve of your face, the shade of your hair, the outline of your bra through your shirt (which he tries not to notice), and the other curves that he has to often felt guilty for tracing with his eyes…and imagining with his hands.  

You look up when he enters the room.

He knocks himself out of his thoughts and freezes, a bit uncertain.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he offers.

You just shake your head. “It’s okay.”

Your eyes roam over him then, from head to toe. It makes his face feel a bit warm.

“You want me to throw that coat in with mine?” you ask, pointing over to him. Cas examines his bloody trench coat.

“I’m not sure there’s any saving it, but we can try,” he says. He peels off the coat and allows you to throw it into the watching machine along with your bloody clothing.

“Your shirt’s white, so you should wash that separately,” you advise.

“I know,” he says, with a faint smile. “I, uh, I remember.”

You begin to regain some of your normal self, glancing at him with more warmth in your eyes. 

“Do you ever miss being human?” you ask. Cas draws closer to you. He rests a hand near yours, where you lean on the dryer. 

“There were some enjoyable aspects. Food, in particular,” he admits. “Now if I try to take a bite of a sandwich, it’s just…molecules, really.”

You wince in sympathy. “God, I don’t know how I could go through life without being able to enjoy another Snickers bar.”

He nods in agreement. He remembers chocolate well.

“But it wasn’t just the taste. It was the feeling of satiety. Sometimes, being uncomfortably full was quite satisfying,” he says. That makes you smile. 

But it soon drops when you take in the disgusting state of his shirt. Unbidden, it reminds you of every horrific thing that happened tonight. You really can’t bear it. 

“Okay, give me that,” you gesture at the shirt.

You start to unbutton it before he’s really ready for you, but he tries to get over his embarrassment by removing his tie. Meanwhile, you undo the buttons of his shirt while trying not to think too hard about what you’re really doing as you start to see flashes of his skin, from chest to sternum.

He takes a peek at your face. 

“Are you angry?” he asks. 

Your brows are furrowed, but this time more in confusion when you look up at him. 

“No. Why?” 

Cas’s brows furrow. “It feels like you’re angry…at me.”

The hasty motions of your hands calm at that. You consider him with a frown. Maybe you are a little upset at him. It’s not really fair, you know, but it’s how you feel. You blow out a sigh. 

“I just… After everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve done for us, how could you think for one second that we would leave you there alone? Alone to die?” you ask. It renders Castiel a bit stunned into silence. 

Your grip tightens on the now open edges of his shirt.

“Look, that situation was bad enough. But if you ever try to push me away like that again…”

You’re unable to finish that thought. You become waylaid by your own tears as emotion clogs your throat and threatens to choke you. 

Castiel raises a hand to touch your face, tentatively at first, then more comforting. He brushes his thumb across your cheek, catching the tears there. 

“I wasn’t trying to push you away,” he confesses. “I was trying to save you…because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, even as I lay dying.”

You hold onto his hand. Biting your lower lip, you find enough courage to meet his eyes. They’ve lowered to your lips, you realize, though maybe Cas doesn’t. He seems a bit surprised when you lean up towards him.

You go more slowly. Your hand falls on his warm chest. For God’s sake, do something, you tell yourself. 

You don’t know if he can pick up on your thoughts as well with your bodies touching this close, but he seems to have an internal battle of his own. You each make a decision at the same time.

It has you leaning up the rest of the way, and Castiel bending down to meet your kiss.  

He gathers you closer; one hand finds its way into your tangled hair, while the other grasps your hip and brings you flush against him. Your hands move up his chest and wind around his neck. He holds you tightly against him as his lips claim yours, over and over with increasing urgency. 

He turns you in his arms and hefts you up onto the dryer machine. There he gets even more leverage to kiss you the way he has secretly imagined, to touch you the way he’s too often craved, with his hands warming up and down your thighs.

You utter a moan of longing as you hold his face. You like the scrape of his stubble against your palms. You can almost imagine that delightful tingling against otherplaces down your body. Places you’d like him to explore when you have more privacy…

Or maybe here is privacy enough.

You alternatively tangle and tug your fingers through his hair. And it’s his turn to moan when you take his lower lip between your teeth, scraping just hard enough to be both painful and delightful.

He squeezes your thighs in retaliation. It prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him even closer. Your dirty boots cross behind his back.

But soon, his touch gentles, more tender than demanding as he slows the kiss. His lips veer from yours and burn a path across your jawline, down the smooth column of your neck.

It allows you to catch your breath, but the feeling of his gentle lips and rough cheek just turns you on even more. You card your fingers through his hair and close your eyes. 

“Cas,” you breathe in content. 

He hesitates, with his lips on your neck. “Yes?”

You blink for a moment, but then you have to giggle. You twine your arms around his neck and hold him close. 

“Nothing,” you reply. Your smile says it all though. Cas sees it when he pulls away a bit, turning his gaze back to you. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. 

“I didn’t think feelings such as this…desires like this, would affect me after I became an angel again.”

Your smile brightens, even as you blush. “Does that make me special?”

“Yes,” he replies, with a soft smile. “But for many more, and far better reasons than that.”

Your eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. You bite the edge of your lower lip, but Cas’s thumb swiping across encourages you to release it.

“When you said that you loved me,” you say, a little shakily, “did you just mean…in the family sense?”

Castiel meets your eyes, and there he finds his courage. 

“Yes,” he says. “And no.”

With another one of those smiles he’s come to love, you bring him back in for a kiss. All too soon, it becomes hungrier, rougher, born of passion and secret desires finally spilling free. 

“Wait,” you pant against his lips, taking his hands in yours. “Come with me.”

Anywhere, his heart says.

But after you jump down from the dryer, you tug him by the hand out of the laundry room. After a quick scan of the hallway, you give him a playful little smile and lead him down to your room.

Castiel can’t help but smile in return. He follows your lead in more ways than one when the door to your bedroom shuts behind you both.

You help him shrug off his tattered shirt, and he helps you out of yours next, followed swiftly by the belt buckle on his slacks. 

In that moment, and many moments after, you’re grateful for door locks. You just hope the Winchesters aren’t dumb enough to interrupt what you have planned next for your angel…

Because it might just take all night.

AN: I haven't written for Castiel in a long time, but I had fun with this. 🥰 I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know what you think. 😘

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[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

wishful thinking

-warnings// angst, mentions of smut but no real descriptions

lil summery// Sam has a little crush on deans girlfriend a just little sad

Dean x reader... with a little Sam x reader (just a lil bit)

word count// 3450

(Gif from pinterest)

You groaned as the light came through the window blinds, rolling over to hide in your boyfriends warm chest, Dean chuckled running his hand up and down your bare back "not ready to wake up gorgeous?" He asked kissing the top of your head "no. My plans revolve around staying in bed with my pretty sexy, and very nude boyfriend" you mumbled against his chest, dragging your hand down his chest and down his stomach

You jumped back when you heard a loud knock on the door "are you two almost ready? There was another attack last night" Sam called through the door, "Just taking a shower then we'll be out Sammy" Dean yelled back, you looked up at him confused "baby we showered last night" Dean chuckled, rolling on top of you, he smirked down at you, his amulet hanging down his neck "yeah but I just bought us some more time" Dean flirted as he pressed kisses down your neck, already making your eyes roll.

Sam leaned against the impala, growing more and more impatient as the time moved on, with a final sigh of annoyance he went back to Dean and your shared motel room, "Dean I've been waiting almost an hour dude serio-" Sam started to yell but was quickly cut off by the door opening revealing you dressed only in deans long red flannel, your cheeks red and your hair a mess "I'm sorry Sammy, we'll be right out in two minutes, I swear" you told him quickly shutting the door in the stunned Winchesters face 

Sam was in awe of you, ever since you and Dean came to get him from Stanford four years ago he knew there was something about you that just warmed his heart, how kind you were to him and when Jess passed, you let him cry in your arms many nights after, how beautiful you were, how smart you were, you were like a walking encyclopaedia. He knew how wrong it was, having a crush on Deans girlfriend. he just couldn't help himself 

Every day was an internal battle for Sam, he wanted you, he wanted you more than he's ever wanted anything, but he sees how much his brother loves you, and that's what kills him even more, he would never want to hurt his brother. He just couldn't help himself, especially when he heard your moans through every crappy motel walls, hell he's even walked in on you both going at it  more times than he'd ever like to admit, you would think after the eitgth time Dean would learn to lock his damn door.

It definitely didn't help Sam keep himself composed when he was popping boners left and right with the images of you after being fucked, even if wasn't by him flash through his mind constantly.

"Alright, give us the run down Sammy" dean said as he drove away from the red room motel Sam stayed quiet as he tried to avoid looking at you sitting in the back seat "Sammy!" Dean called loudly snapping his fingers in his face startling the seasoned hunter "w-what?" He stuttered out confused "gives us the run down... are you feeling good, not like you to be so out of it man" dean turned to look at him quickly worry evident in his voice 

"Yeah fine just tired. didn't sleep great"  Sam mumbled out tucking his growing hair behind his ears "you sure sweetie? you look a little pale, maybe your coming down with something. c'mere let me check your temperature" you said leaning into the front to feel his forehead "w-what no no I'm fine not sick I'm just tired so just drop it and leave me the hell alone!" Sam said flinching away defensively, if you touched him right now he was definitely gonna go crazy 

Dean turned to give Sam a hard look "watch it Sam, she was only trying to help you, no need to bite her damn head off!" Sam snorted "whatever" he pushed himself as close to the passenger side ignoring his brother for the rest of the ride his eyes stared hard out at the road as he tried to focus on the hunt... and not how good your breasts look in that shirt .

Dean looked at Sam then gave you a concerned look matching your own in the rear view mirror. 

When you got to the Swanson house you both  decided to let Sam take the lead in questioning considering he didn't give you any details on the death, what he suspected, could be demon, ghost... literally anything at this point.

"Any idea what's up with Sam?" You asked Dean watching as Sam spoke to the victims heartbroken husband, Dean sighed his eyes narrowed at his little brother trying to figure out what's going on in his head "not a clue but I'll talk to him about it" dean grumbled out squinting his eyes at his younger brother.

It was a quiet drive back to the motel , Sam was laser focused on watching the blurs of houses and cars, you couldn't help yourself but looking at him worried, you were sure he could feel your eyes burning a hole into the back of his head. Even if he did feel it he never let on, never acknowledged you or dean were in the car too.

Once Dean parked baby Sam was rushing out toward his motel room. Dean slammed the car door annoyed before turning to look at you his hard eyes softening "I'm gonna talk to Sammy see if I can get him to talk about wheatever the hells bothering him" dean told you before planting a soft kiss on your lips "okay baby, I'm gonna take a walk and go grab us some snacks and beer, hopefully Sammy opens up to you" you wrapped your arms around deans neck, his own on your hips as he had you pinned tight against the impala

Dean shook his head pulling baby's keys out of his pocket "your not walking anywhere sweetheart, I trust you'll take care of my baby, and my baby will take care of my sweetheart" dean joked making you giggle, your cheeks heating up as you licked your lips "you Dean Winchester are a man of many surprises... and I quite like that about you" dean caught your lips once again in a soft kiss his tongue slipping into wrestle with your own before giving your ass a hard smack. You gasped and pulled away your body feeling hot at his actions 

You put your hands on deans chest lightly pushing him away from you "alright I better go, good luck talking to Sam" dean shook his head his green eyes turned to look at Sam's closed motel room door sighing "yeah I'm gonna need it". 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Your nerves were all over the place as you walked around the small corner store. You hated when Sam and Dean would fight, on one hand, Dean is your boyfriend you can't help but take his side most of the time, but Sam was your best friend. It just put you in such a shitty position until the boys eventually swept it under the rug. You grabbed a bunch of snacks because you knew Dean was an angry eater and he usually stuffed his face with liquorice and chocolate after any arguments, or if you were having make up sex and dean was still a little mad he'd eat something else...

You opened the door to your motel room so see Dean pacing the floor his hands running through his hair, clearly he was frustrated and seemed pretty anxious "how'd it go sweetie?" You asked him setting the bag of goods and beer on the table "I- uh- fi-fine yeah I guess" dean stuttered out as his pacing continued "dean what's wrong? Is it bad- oh my god please sit down your freaking me out!" You snapped grabbing deans arms stopping him from moving any further "it's nothing I just... look you know how much I care about you. Id do anything for you no matter what it was, I just when you talk to Sam please remember that" dean told you his hands coming to rest on the sides of your face his worried eyes staring into your own

"Wha- talk to Sam? Dean what's going on why do I need to talk to Sam?" You were freaking out why the hell was Dean Winchester, the man who hides what he feels on the daily pouring his heart out to you now of all times. Dean leaned in catching your lips in a slow sensual kiss, pulling away to rest his forehead against your own "I promise everything will make sense if you talk to Sam" Dean whispered "okay let's go" dean shook his head immediately "I don't think I should be around Sammy right now I'll wait for you here" okay now you were officially freaking the fuck out

You nodded slowly and headed out to towards Sam's motel room next door. You stared at the red door taking a couple of deep worried breaths before knocking. It took three seconds after the last knock until the younger Winchester was opening the door his cheek looking slightly swollen "hey... come on in" Sam said moving to the side to allow you in "hey... so what's going on? Dean seemed pretty upset" you told him, Sam sighed and ran his hands down his face his eyes closed tight "it's stupid. It's so stupid I just don't know what to do anymore I've been... fuck this is hard-" "Sam! Spit it out please!" You yelled cutting off his rambling 

"....Y/N, I think I'm in love with you" once the words left Sam's lips your whole body froze. You felt like the air was sucked right out of you. "You what?" You asked "I think I'm in love with you... it started a couple of years ag-" "Years! what the fuck do you mean years Sam? How many?" You cut him off "i- I lost Jess and then you... you were there for me and it just kinda escalated from there. Look I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to be in love with my brothers girlfriend, I've felt like the worst person in the damn world every day because of this... I just I can't help it" Sam confessed

"Sam Jess passed four years ago. Are you telling me you've had feelings for me since then?" You asked him calmly and he nodded quickly "honey I don't think your in love with me. I think you went through an extremely traumatic experience with Jess and me being there for you every day. I think your confusing the feelings you had for jess to me. Sam, I love you because your my best friend... and I'm with dean and I haven't even told him yet but I love him Sammy..." you told him and Sam took a deep breath "I uh i guess I never thought about it like that. I think your right I'm confusing my feelings I had for Jess to you" Sam agreed making you relax 

"I'm sorry I sprung all this on you and Dean today. When you put it like that it makes sense... I mean Jess was the love of my life… I even had a ring. Before you and Dean came to Stanford I had it all planned out, then it was taken away from me in the blink of an eye... and dean still has you-" Sam paused taking a shaky breath "I guess I'm just jealous of you guys, of what you have with each other. I've never seen Dean love someone so much and that's why me feeling like this bothered me so much because I want my brother to be happy and I want my best friend to be happy too" Sam ended his speech and you had tears falling down your cheeks feeling your heart break at his words

"Sammy I'm so sorry about what happened with Jess. You deserved to have the happy life you always wanted with her" Sam nodded his eyes filling with tears he sucked in a harsh breath of air "yeah.... I miss her every day. I just... I want what I had with her back- I want Jess back, I see you and Dean and I want that. Jesus I fucking had that. Life deals me the crappy hand of yellow eyes and Jess has to pay for it?" Your cheeks were wet with tears, you couldn't help but bawl at Sam's words. Life had been so cruel to the Winchesters 

"I know honey... I know. It's not fair, I know you feel like Jess was the one for you but sam, I only met her once and I seen how much she loved you. She would want you to get out there and find the girl your meant to spend your life with, it's not me, but she's out there... she's just waiting for you to find her" you smiled taking his big hand in yours and giving it a comforting squeeze. Sam nodded slowly 

"I really i appreciate that Y/N, I'm glad this crap got brought out. Talking to you has really made me feel a lot better about this so thanks, I uh do you mind giving me some time just to think. I kinda want to be by myself now" Sam told you and you nodded heading towards the door, Turing to take one last look at the sad giant "we're right next door if you need anything at all, okay Sammy?" His lips curled in a soft smile and he gave you a quick nod.

Once the door was a shut you leaned against it your hand going to your chest as you took a deep breath, hunting gouls was easier than that damn conversation. Your heart was beating like crazy thinking back on every word, Sam thought he was in love you, I mean of course he wasn't. He was in love with the idea of you... of love that's what he wanted.

You squeezed your eyes shut to calm down before going back to your and Deans room. You opened the door to find Dean sat at the edge of the double bed, his head facing the ground as his hands ran through his hair “Dean?” You called to him. His head snapped towards you his feet moving faster than the rest of his body as he stunned his way toward you “Y/N…. H-how’d it go? Did you-” “talk to Sam… yeah we had a long talk. I think everything’s gonna be just fine now” you told him 

Deans shoulders visibly relaxed, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you into a hug “thank god… thought I was gonna have to kick his ass” dean joked but you thought back to Sam’s swollen cheek. You pulled back from the hug and gave dean a hard look “Dean Winchester… did you punch your brother because of me?” 

Dean shook his head quickly “no of course not… I punched him because he told me he wanted to be with my girlfriend, maybe had he phrased it better to me I wouldn’t have lost my temper but if someone tells me they want to be with my girlfriend and they’re in love with her… I’m gonna loose my shit” you tried to hide the small smirk from your face by leaning in to give dean a hard kiss on his soft lips “that’s really sweet baby. Please don’t fight with Sam because of me, seriously we had a really good conversation tonight” 

Dean noodles slowly “can you tell me what you talked about?” You smiled and sat down on the bed and pulling Dean with you so you were both laying down on the hard mattress “well he told me he was in love with me-” deans arm around your waist grew tense as he pulled you closer so your head was resting against his chest  “but we talked about things and we got to talking about Jess and-” you paused taking a deep breath and looking up at dean to find him already looking at you 

“Sam is still hurting over Jess. He was confusing his love for Jess to love for me, thats all, he’s not In love me. He’s in love with the idea of love because he had that, then he lost it in the blink of an eye and then he sees us together. He just needs some time and he needs us to help him get back out there find a distraction, hey maybe even find the love of his life like m-” you stopped yourself quickly, Dean opened his mouth to say something but you quickly jumped back in

“We should take him out tomorrow, there’s a bar down the block. I saw it when we were driving earlier, it looks like it could be fun, what do ya say?” Deans eyes crinkled as he smiled lovingly at you. He loved how much you looked out for Sammy, it’s part of what made him fall in love with you. “I’m down, any time I get to spend with you I am down for it” dean told you taking your hand in his placing a soft kiss to it “how about we crack open those beers over there eat some junk food and watch a little Dr sexy?” Dean suggested. You smiled and nodded your head “i love that idea” you leaned up to give him a quick kiss before he grabbed the goods.

You were hours into the doctor sexy marathon you and dean had unintentionally started. Deans arm hung loosely around your waist while you cuddled comfortably into his warm side, your leg wrapped loosely around deans hips. You looked up to see deans green eyes lolling to sleep slowly, still somewhat awake “dean?” You whispered, his eyes opened quickly and he let out a low “yeah?” And turned his gaze to you “why were you so nervous earlier? Before I went to Sam’s room?” He sighed his body tensing slightly under you “I just… I hated the idea of you talking to Sam about his little crush on you because well, your my girl… and I love you” dean rushed out the end and your head snapped up 

“You what?” You asked your chest suddenly feeling tighter like your heart was about to explode “i love you sweetheart” dean told you more clearly this time. A smile immediately overcame your face as you rushed down to press a hard kiss on deans lips. Dean responded right away, his hands wrapping around your hips to pull you on top of him… well more than you already were

You pulled back slightly from the kiss pressing your forehead against his “I love you too Dean Winchester, so fucking much baby” you giggled your lips brushing against his in each movement. Dean pulled you back into another deep kiss his big rough hands squeezed your ass before moving up your waist to pull your shirt off leaving you in your black lacy bra. Your squealed into deans mouth when he ripped your bra in half, pulling the ruined fabric off off your arms baring your breasts to him. Deans lips detached from your swollen ones, he attacked you chest immediately placing kissing app over your chest, sucking love marks all over you, especially on your sweet spot to mark his territory.

Sam who was in the next room slammed a pillow over his head to drown out your screams of pleasure, Sam lied to you earlier, he meant it when he said he was in love with you. But when he saw your panic and how you talked about your one for his brother he panicked and wanted to take each word back, that’s why when you mentioned it being confusion over his love for Jess he jumped at it. He would never do anything to hurt you or dean he loved you both way to much to ever even  think about doing that to either of you, that’s why he was just going to have to swallow his feelings and curse chuck for not having you both meet first. He wished every damn night that he met you before dean, constantly living in guilt Sam knew he had to take his feelings for you and bury them deep inside of him, a life with you was just wishful thinking for the younger Winchester. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

next to be written is Sam Winchester, hero part 2, this was requested and I'm hoping to get it published soon, until then please enjoy :))

[lailawinchesterr]

stars (castiel novak)

pairing; castiel novak x reader tags; fluff, hardly any angst, inexperienced cas summary; you find cas after his argument with dean and one thing leads to another.

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Screw the Winchesters for ever hurting Cas. Dean just— he yells, and screams, and he doesn’t stop until he or the person in front of him are hurt. It sucks. Because more often than not, Sam or Cas are that person. Thank God Dean respects women as much as he does because a vamp nest i can take— a screaming fest? Sign me out.

But he isn’t easy on the boys, especially Cas. The angel had to prove himself to Dean— to all of us, really, so many times it should’ve worn him out years ago, but he’s still here, despite it all, and this is the thanks he gets for saving our asses all the time? It isn’t right.

Usually after Dean has an episode Cas likes to disappear. Sam went with his brother while I followed Cas to see that he’s thankfully still there. In the astronomy room. We found it a few months ago and I got to name it. The men of letters seemed to have a knack for stars because the projection on the ceiling is a live image of the stars at the moment. It’s beautiful. 

It’s also special. I’ve never sat in this room with anyone other than Cas. It’s our thing, at least for me, I’m not sure what his thoughts on the room are. 

“Cas?” He doesn’t look at me from his spot leaning on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. “Cas,” I whisper thoughtfully this time, and he faces me. “Can I sit?” 

He shrugs and it’s all the invitation I need. Castiel has learned to understand and deal with human emotions so well over the years that sometimes I forget he isn’t one. He’s responds to Dean so expertly. Especially Dean. Profound bond and whatnot. “Dean is being ridiculous, obviously.”

He doesn’t respond. “C’mon, you know how he is, he gets mad at something as. Waits for someone to blow up on—”

“I know that. I’m not sulking.”

“Then what are you doing here?” No response. “Cas, are you okay?”

“The stars, they’re beautiful.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t want to lie to you.” I sigh, moving only a little closer, “I do not care what Dean does, or his opinion on the matter, what I did was what we needed.”

“You almost melted the guy’s brain, but yeah, I get it.”

“He will live, and Dean will learn to be alright. It is you who I fear would not forgive me.” My eyes widened. Me? First of all, what the hell does that mean, since when does an Angel of the Lord care if I forgive him? Second, forgive him for what? I just said I get it. “You are the only soul on earth who I haven’t looked at directly.” 

My breath hitches in my throat and I can’t even process his words. I didn’t know he could even control that. “I can not control who’s souls I can and can not see— but for all the years I have been with the Winchesters they’ve been very open with me, they bared their souls to me. Well, Dean didn’t have a choice, but Sam saw Angels as some kind of saving graces, he eagerly showed me himself. You have too, to some extent, but I haven’t been able to let my grace free when I’m around you.”

That’s two years of holding his breath when I’m around. Two years of not being comfortable when I’m there and two years of no eye contact. Most of the time all I get is a glance. Most of the time I don’t get anything at all. 

“Why?”

“Because your soul will—” he lets out a small laugh (i decide it is my favorite sound in the world) and shakes his head, he whispers my name, “it will blind me.”

“Cas,” I mumble. We’re both moving closer. His lips are so close. “What does that mean?”

“That I’m scared to lose you as I am the Winchesters,” I swallow nothing and try to calm my nerves but he’s doing that thing Dean taught him with his eyes and they’re going from my lips to my eyes and fuck, its chemical. “I am worried to lose any part of you. Your affection for me, however different from mine to you.”

“Cas. Kiss me.” It takes him a while to understand that it’s an order, and that I am consenting, but when he does— God, I don’t want to say it’s fireworks (it is), or that his lips taste like cotton candy (they do, courtesy of Dean’s gum), or that it kind of maybe changes me completely. 

He pulls away first. “I tried when I was human, and once when I was an angel, a long time ago, but was that correct?”

I don’t know if I want to kiss him again or compliment and affirm to him that everything he does is correct till tomorrow. I choose the former but promise the latter that we will meet again. We move against each other, smoother than i ever have considering I don’t do this often, and he’s so good you would never know just how inexperienced he is. 

“My soul?” I smile into it.

“Blindingly beautiful.” I’m sure he can’t actually see it right at this moment with his eyes only half open to stare at my lips, but it’s enough for me.

It takes longer but I pull away this time. His hand is still on my cheek and he’s slowly pulling me in and out, just brushing his lips against mine while I try to talk. Where did he learn to do all of this? “Cas, what does— Cas—”

Talking’s always been overrated. Especially when we don’t have time.

[castiwls]

Come home to me - c.n

Paring; castiel x reader

Synopsis: Getting hurt on a hunt was expected, but this was different. This left your life on the line

Warnings; mention of death and injury

Requested;anon

Notes;so sorry this took so long! also not wrote for castiel in a minute so I apologise if its kinda occ :) reqs and inbox are open

Masterlist

Pain was something you were used to. It wasn’t often you found yourself walking away from a hunt unscathed but this…this was something you’d never felt before.

White hot pain pulsed through your side as you tried to remember how to breathe again. You couldn’t even remember what had happened. One minute you were standing and the next you were looking at the barn's roof.

You weren’t even sure if you’d finished the hunt. The only thing you knew was that you were in pain.  A hand on your chest pulled you back to reality. The car jostled slightly causing you to wince as pain shot up your side.

“Is it bad?” Your voice was strained as you looked up at met a pair of blue eyes full of concern. Castiel was quiet his eyes trained on your face. “You're going to be okay.” He nodded before moving his hand over your side. 

His voice was passive but you could tell by his eyes that he was scared and you couldn’t tell if he was reassuring himself or you. Taking a sharp breath you reached a hand up towards him. One of his hands quickly wrapped around yours and squeezed it.

“M’tired Cas.” You mumbled watching as his eyes widened slightly. He shook his head before saying something you didn’t catch. Your ears seemed to fill with water as the voices in the car blended together to make one muffled mass.

The pain continued to pulse through you as quiet mumbles left your lips. Your eyes continued to droop as you watched him stare down at you. 

Truthfully you had no idea if you were dying. The thought left a small pinch of fear rushing through you. What if you were dying? What if you died in this car? What if you died and never got to tell him?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Castiel watched in near horror as your eyes finally closed and your body went limp on his lap. Placing a hand on your shoulder he shook you gently, careful of your wound. “Hey.” He could feel Dean’s eyes on him from the mirror as he continued to shake you.

The sound of the engine revving faded into the background as he continued calling your name begging for your eyes to open again.

Until now fear had been something he’d never felt. The idea alone was so alien to him that for a moment he had no idea what that cold feeling that seemed to chill his body was. 

For the first time, Castiel was genuinely scared. He knew healing you wasn’t an option until you got back to the motel. The car was too shaky and he wasn’t willing to risk causing you any more pain. 

“You're gonna be okay.” He mumbled pushing your hair off your face. Staring down at you he found himself slowly mapping your features. He’d always known that there was something about you. Something which left him constantly looking for your attention. Your smile alone could brighten his day and the thought of never seeing it again left him feeling sick to his stomach.

Losing you was maybe his worst fear, and now that might actually be a reality.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Castiel didn’t know how long it had been. Both Sam and Dean had begrudgingly retired to their own motel room leaving you both alone a few hours ago. 

Even after being healed you continued to lie lifeless on the old bed while he sat quietly at your side. Letting out a breath he leaned forward on his knees looking at you for a moment. Your clothes were still bloody and torn but your side now showed no memories of the gash that had been there only hours earlier.

Running a hand through his hair he leaned back into the chair, his mind still going a mile a minute. Castiel had never had the words to tell you how he really felt. He’d become so accustomed to being your ‘best friend’ that the idea of being anything more had slowly faded away. 

He knew he was in love. He’d been in love since the first day he’d met you and now he’d waited too long and may never get the chance to tell you.

A small pained groan broke through the silence and his head shot up. Another small noise left your lips as you stretched out your leg, feeling the stiffness on one side of your body slowly lessen.

“Wha..what happened?” You asked turning your head to where he was sitting. “Cas?” His hand shot out grabbing a hold of yours, his eyes wide. “How do you feel?” His voice was laced with concern.

You thought for a moment trying to piece together your foggy memories of what had happened on the hunt. The pieces slowly slotted together and you let out a worried breath immediately reaching for your side.

Feeling the now untouched skin you looked over to the angel. “Stiff but…much better.” You smiled weakly, fatigue still clouding your mind. “Thank you.” 

He nodded a small smile growing on his lips. Relief rushed through him as you slowly moved to sit up against the pillows. “I’m glad.” He was quiet for a moment before clearing his throat.

“Can I…can I tell you something.” Castiel felt his gaze fall onto his hands as you tilted your head watching him. “Of course. You can tell me anything.” You answered trying to reassure him. 

He nodded before falling quiet again. You watched as opened his mouth a few times before stopping himself and shaking his head. “Cas, come on you can tell me.” You laughed gently patting the bed beside you.

Taking the hint he came to sit beside you. He felt the bed dip slightly as you moved closer a smile on your lips. Part of him was so relieved still that you were alive that it took him a moment to realise that you’d placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m in love with you.” He said suddenly. The confession seemed to shock you both as you stiffened slightly and he sucked in a breath.

The air seemed to grow tense for a moment before he turned to face you, his breath catching in his throat as he mentally prepared himself for the possibility of you rejecting him.

Instead, you were smiling brightly, a small dusting of red on your cheeks. “You're not just saying that 'cause I almost died right?” 

He shook his head reaching for your hand which wasn’t on his shoulder. “No. No of course not. I really mean it.”

He looked down to where your hands were intertwined. “Well.” You moved your hand from his shoulder to gently tip his chin up.

“I guess it’s a good thing I feel the same.”

[yourmomxx]

a pearl ⋆ .ೃ ࿔ *

Dean Winchester x fem!reader

Summary: There were many things in life that Dean Winchester learned to regret. Taking the mark of Cain in order to kill Abbadon and save the world had not been one of them. Until everything just gets way too much for him to handle, and you are the one that has to burn in the crossfire.

Warnings: canon violence, blood, angst, spoilers but not really, moc!dean, swearing so if you’re the CW look away

Word Count: 2.6k

Flashbacks are written in italics

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGAUGE

━━━ ❝ Iᴛ’s ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I fᴇʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴡᴀʀ ❞ ━━━

Regret is a funny thing, somehow. At least I think so.

When you do something terrible, you can feel regret or remorse. So much, you get overwhelmed, forget to show it. So much you might start treating the people around you different.

“Sam?” Dean urged through the phone in a pressed voice. His breathing was ragged when he talked. “Sammy please, I need you to come here quick, something … something happened!”

“Dean it’s alright, calm down, where are you?” Immediately, Sam slapped his laptop closed.

Over the phone, he heard his brother stifle a sob. “I don’t … I don’t know Sammy, just please hurry, I-” His voice broke. “I think I fucked up, Sam, big time.”

“It’s alright Dean, just hang in there, I’ll come and get you.”

“Thanks.” Dean’s voice was small as he answered.

You can feel regret and decide that the outcome of the situation was worth it, and do it again.

When Sam arrived at the old warehouse and saw Dean, kneeling on the floor and covered in blood, he was worried.

You can feel regret, ask for redemption and forgiveness, but don’t get it.

As he let his gaze wander and it fell upon you, laying limb in Dean’s bloody arms, he was worried sick.

And even if you do get forgiven, who is to say that the guilt will stop haunting you?

“The doctors took her into surgery.” Sam carefully looked at his older brother, whose hands and shirt were still stained with your dried blood. “They said that she might not make it.”

“She will make it,” Dean said. The doctors were wrong, they are always wrong. They would be wrong this time, too.

Regret is buried deep in Dean Winchester. Rooted, even. He regrets many things. He was forgiven, then he was not, he pushed away the people around him in trying to not repeat his last mistakes, sometimes succeeded, sometimes he didn’t.

There were many things he felt guilty for. Too many, if you asked his brother Sam.

“What exactly happened in there, Dean?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know,” Dean said. But that was a lie, because he did.

But he didn’t want to admit what he had done. Why he had done it. It turned his stomach around. There was a reason why Dean hadn’t looked Sam in the eye since he arrived.

He was sitting in your room again.

He was feeling regret about what happened. Again. He was doing that a lot, too, lately.

After the … incident, he mostly avoided talking to you. That had been just a few days ago.

He had even avoided seeing you since you returned to the Bunker, unless absolutely necessary.

Because just as he predicted, the doctors had turned out to be wrong: you had actually made it. After a light coma and a surgery, but you had made it.

When the nurse had told them you were free to go, Dean had been the one to bring you home. Still wrapped in the white clinical sheets and clothing that the nurses had given you, but he had brought you home.

So no, he hadn’t talked to you in days. Not seen you either, for that matter. Just cut you off like that.

And, to his genuine surprise, you had let him.

Normally, you would try everything in your power to talk to him, talk him out of his drowning thoughts, convince him that what had happened wasn’t his fault.

But not this time.

And that only substantiated his feeling that you truly hated him this time. Weren’t able to forgive him. And how could he blame you? He couldn’t even forgive himself.

But he missed you and it tore at him.

He missed the way that you would hold him when he ever so rarely let himself cry, and he missed the way your voice would whisper sweet words of reassurance in his ear in a low tone.

He missed your fingers gently scarding through his hair, and at his scalp, to soothe him.

He missed you humming the low tunes of some made-up song in the late evening, when you were laying in each other’s arms, right before falling asleep.

And he missed dancing with you. Just putting on whatever vinyl it was you could find in his room and then swaying to the sound of the music, wrapped around each other and being at peace, even if it was just for a few minutes.

He missed you so much.

On the shelf, leaned against the wall, the TV played some cheesy 80’s romance movie. It was the late night program.

Dean was tuning it out. He had stopped listening a long while ago, anyway.

No, his mind was playing a movie on its own. One that was specially designed for Dean Winchester. Written by Dean Winchester, starring Dean Winchester - and Y/N Y/L/N.

A tragic love story, with drama, hurt, betrayal, forgiveness.

In his mind, Dean could still feel the heavy weight of the blade resting in the palm of his hand. It hadn’t felt like this in the warehouse - or had it? He wasn’t sure.

Who was he lying to, it had felt light. Perfectly shaped for him, and him only. In that moment, everything had felt perfectly shaped.

It took the sound of the weapon driving through your skin and into your organs, that made him realize that nothing was perfect. Or carved out for him, that the blade wasn’t light but actually weighed too much to carry, that’s why he let it fall out of his hand and clatter to the ground, that’s why he rushed to your hurt body on the floor -

“Hey.”

Dean’s head shot up at the sound of your voice clear next to him, fast enough to probably break his neck.

He threw a quick glance at the door, then you again. “Hey,” he said back.

You stood awkwardly a few steps next to the bed, fumbling your fingers and trying to hold his gaze.

The only sound was the program still playing on the television and Dean decided that he should perhaps turn it off if he hoped for a conversation to start.

While he was fumbling for the remote, you turned your attention to the movie playing on the screen.

“Didn’t know you were a fan of Sixteen Candles,” you said, and so you were the first to talk.

“I’m not.” He found the remote, and pressed the small red button to turn off the TV.

You put your hands in the back pockets of your jeans and slowly whipped back and forth on your feet.

Dean’s thoughts were short circuiting and he felt his heartbeat fasten. He tried to not look into your direction too much, and his eyes flickered back and forth between the many items in his room.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye he realized that you had moved to sit down on the bed next to him. Funny, he hadn’t even felt the mattress dip.

Dean straightened his back and moved his knees closer together, to minimalize every possibility of you guys accidentally touching each other.

He hated that, so did you. But neither did anything to change it.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, indicating that you were meaning to start a conversation, but somehow, you said nothing. Just sat there, looking at him, brows furrowed in concern.

Every once in a while, your gaze would flicker around his room, unsure of what to do, and eventually land back on him again.

“We should probably talk.”

“About what?” Dean knew the words were nonsense as soon as they left his mouth. Of course he knew about what, but part of him didn’t want to realize that you were finally here for it.

“About what happened.” Your voice was strong as you said it. He admired you for it.

Tears were burning in his eyes, and God, how he hated himself for it, because he had cried enough that day.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out. Your demeanor didn’t change.

“About what?” It was your turn to ask, your voice soft and silk and catching his fall. Dean almost laughed at you.

“What I did to you,” he sniffled, and shit, when did the tears start actually falling? He wiped them away aggressively. This is not at all how he figured this would go.

“Dean.” The feather light touch of your fingers on his naked skin made him turn. Goosebumps started rising where you touched him, your hand was so cold.

“This wasn’t your fault.” Now he was laughing. Bitter, biting and short, but it was a laugh. Unbelieving.

“Right. I was just the one that drove the Blade through your organs.”

You didn’t even flinch at his wording. Or the dark glare that followed after. Your eyes were so soft, and adoring, eyebrows scrunched together, and Dean knew he had never seen something as beautiful as the woman before him.

When you reached out to rest a hand on his cheek, he found himself leaning into your touch. Your fingers were still cold.

“Dean,” your voice barely above a whisper, and when had he closed his eyes?

“I know that wasn’t you. You were controlled by something so purely evil, that it was eating you up. You had no control over the things that you did. Look at me.”

Dean shifted his gaze. “I know you would never hurt me.”

And you said it with such force, and certainty, that Dean felt it practically piercing through him. His shoulders slumped, a hard breath left his mouth, and before he could register what happened, he was slumped against you, breathing in your warm scent of woods and perfume, and wrapped his arms around your torso to hold onto you for dear life.

He noticed your hands carefully scarding through his hair, and thought, that this was all he had been dreaming of for the past few days.

He loved you so much.

Minutes felt like hours, and those felt like seconds, as the two of you held each other, bathing in the other’s presence, warmth, comfort.

A pathetic whine almost left Dean’s throat as protest when you carefully pushed him off you, but he held it back.

He watched as you stood up, smooth and elegant, and walked over to a different corner of his room. Your steps were eaten by the carpeted floor.

Dean saw you take a vinyl from the shelf and carefully pull it out of the cover, laying it on the record player.

A crackling sound was the first thing to be heard, before the needle reached the engraved lines.

Then, the first tunes of Kitty Kallen’s It’s been a long long time sounded through the room.

You took a few steps closer to him, hips swaying lightly to the tune. Your arms were stretched out in an invitation, and at the sight of your joyous grin, Dean couldn’t do anything else than smile back.

He knew if it came to it, you could make entire armies fall knee to that smile.

He took your invitation to join you gladly. Your skin didn’t feel as cold against his anymore, though that could be only because his hands were warm.

The smile didn’t leave both of your lips as you dragged him closer.

And though he wasn’t inhaling, to Dean this felt like the first breath he had taken in days. Your lips were soft against his, and he felt feverish, in the best possible way one could do.

It was soft, and loving, and he adored it.

As you pulled away from him, you carefully nestled your head under his chin, resting right on top of his chest.

Absentmindedly, Dean closed his eyes, let the tunes of the song wash over him, and lazily swayed side to side with you in his arms. He was sure you could hear his heartbeat under his shirt. A heart that beat only for your love.

This was what his hands had been shaped to do, since the dawn of time. Not for the blood, or the murder, or the irrationality. No, for this right here, holding you close to him, his head on top of your hair and bodies pressed against each other as if it was the last time he would ever see you.

“Kiss me once,” you drew your head back from his chest, a mischievous glint in your eye, “Then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again.”

Dean smirked and raised his eyebrows. “You’re unreal.”

“I know.” You grinned and pressed a chaste kiss on his pink lips.

When you looked back at Dean, a soft grin was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“What are you smiling about?” You asked him reproachfully, but your playful undertones gave you away.

“I just love hearing you talk,” he admitted.

Then why did you kill her for it?

“Is that so?” you asked him teasingly.

I didn’t.

“Yes.”

Your smile was beaming up at him and filling him with the warmth of a million suns, and he suddenly didn’t know how he could believe that you would ever be able to hate him.

He pressed a kiss to your hairline, a kiss that said more than his words possibly could, and with a comfortable sigh, you snuggled into his chest and closed your eyes.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and never wanting to let you go.

He would never let you go.

—

The sound of the slow song carried through the hallways, a faint melody like the whispering breeze of a wind.

Sam Winchester heard its soothing tune from where he was standing in the library, next to him a black haired man in a trenchcoat, an angel, Castiel.

The pair was looking at the massive wooden table that the hunter and his brother often used to keep their research. Today, that table was empty, empty of books and laptops that was.

A bundle was laid on it, wrapped in white linen and laced up with split thread. Like a macabre package.

Sam felt sick, staring at the covered, dead body of another fallen friend. A sister to him. And to Dean … to Dean a lover. A rock. A spark of good in his sea of bad.

Sam still didn’t know what exactly had happened in the warehouse that night. All he knew was that Dean had his blood on your hands, in the literal sense of the word, and that his eyes had held a vacant expression.

He remembered the moment the doctor’s informed him about your death and how he had grieved you, and how he told Dean, but how it didn’t seem to get through to him.

He remembered Dean carrying your body out of the hospital, and retiring to his room the moment they had reached the bunker, and how he hadn’t come out since.

We need to bury her, Sam, Cas had said. It can’t go on like this.

Sam’s answer had always been the same. Let’s just give him more time.

But Sam knew that Castiel was right, there was no use to dragging this out any longer, and still, he hesitated.

No, he wouldn’t hold the funeral without Dean. And Dean was nowhere ready to attend a funeral.

“We should tell him,” said Cas. His gaze was fixed on the white bundle lying on the table.

Sam slowly nodded. “Yeah, we should.”

But neither of them moved an inch, not even as they heard Dean’s soft mumbles out of his room, while the slow record in the next room gently came to a harmonic end.

━━━━━━ ❝ ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ɪᴛ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ❞ ━━━━━━

[decayinabottle]

me frfr

[marchtothefuckingsea]

Break A Leg - Castiel

My Masterlist.

Word count: 750, short n fluffy

Warnings: None.

Summary: Reader with a broken leg sleeps at the table because they don't think they can make it back to their room. Cas finds them, and even though he can't heal them, he finds a way to make up for it.

I groaned, stretching my leg out. I stretched the rest of my stiff muscles, wincing when a jolt of pain traveled up my leg. Blinking hard, I widened my eyes and tried to get them to focus. The room spun a little, forcing me to squeeze them shut again before I threw up. 

I hunched over the table, soon finding my forehead on the table when I began to drift off. I needed sleep. Looking down at my leg in its cast though, I was almost positive I wouldn't be able to make it to my room without falling down. I groaned again, shutting the old book and placing it further away from me on the desk. Shrugging out of my flannel, I balled it up into a makeshift pillow. I crossed my arms in front of me, and I was asleep as soon as my head was cradled in my elbows. 

Castiel pulled the bunker door shut behind him. "Sam. Dean." He called out. Wandering through the halls with a bit of purpose in his stride, he saw a figure, their leg in a cast, slumped over the library table. 

The book was closed, and he frowned. They hadn't fallen asleep doing research, they had intentionally fallen asleep here. Their broken leg was stretched out in front of them, clunky with the cast.

He wished he could heal them. 

A hand touched my shoulder, and I startled awake. My eyes were blurry with sleep, but I recognized the tan coat the person in front of me wore. "Cas?" I groaned, stretching my arms out in front of me and turning to him.

"You slept here? Intentionally?" He asked me immediately.

"No I- I guess I fell asleep doing research." I smiled apologetically. "Every little bit helps, right?" 

He was frowning now. "The book is closed." He said flatly.

"And? Nevermind, just-" I winced at a sore muscle in my neck. "Should've known that was going to happen." I muttered under my breath.

"You need to sleep. In a bed." 

"No shit sherlock." I sighed. "But I'm fine now."

"No, come on." Before I could protest, he was hauling me to my feet. I staggered slightly, but he was careful not to let my injury get jarred. 

"Why didn't you go back to your room?" He asked as we limped down the hall. 

"Wasn't sure I could make it." I mumbled abashedly. He was silent until we got to my room, and he had helped me to sit on my bed.

"I should be able to heal you. I'm sorry." He apologized, guilt evident on his face as he pulled away.

"It's okay, Cas. Hey," I said to get his attention back on me. His gaze had drifted off like it did when he was beating himself up over something. He turned back to me. "It's fine. Don't blame yourself." 

"If I had my grace-" 

I cut him off. "Don't even go there." I said sternly. "It's not your fault." He sighed, but didn't reply. His frown had lessened, but I knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. 

"If you want to make it up with me…" I trailed off, and his eyes met mine as he tilted his head to the side. "You can stay here." 

"I will." He shifted on the edge of the bed.

"Get comfy."

"I am." 

"No Cas," I stifled a laugh, but not my smile. He gave me a curious glance. "Lay down. Get comfy."

"Oh." 

I was quick to add. "If you're comfortable with that, of course. You don't have to-"

"I'm more than comfortable with it." He had a fond smile on his face now. I felt my face heat up when I wondered what he meant by that. 

He kicked his shoes off and shrugged out of his coat and jacket. I scooted to the side with a wince. "Careful." He murmured. He laid beside me in a half sitting, half lying down position. I startled slightly when his arm snaked around my shoulders. 

"I'm sorry, is-"

"No, no. It's more than comfortable." I repeated him, smiling as I leaned against him. Sighing contentedly, my aching body finally relaxed for the first time in days. I felt Castiel lean his chin on the top of my head, and his hand wrapped around my bicep as I unconsciously curled closer to him. I had been more exhausted than I thought, because in his presence, I passed out almost instantly. 

[natisideas]

This could be the end of everything.

This was never meant to happen, at all. The hunt was going so well, at least that's what you had hoped. It was just a normal hunt gone wrong. "[Y/N] please be okay. You're gonna be okay." Sam cried as he was holding you in his arms. "I never meant to hurt you baby. Never." He whimpered. "I-i know honey, i-i'll be okay. I promise." You spoke choking on your blood.

"Sammy?" You knew that familiar deep voice. It was Dean. "Sammy!" He repeated himself. "In here, Dean!" Sam yelled trying to hold back his tears.

"Sammy what's going o-" Dean was cut off by seeing the way you were faintly breathing in Sammy's arms. "What happened Sammy?" He asked, trying not to panic.

"I-i don't know, I turned around for 2 seconds and I turned back around and she was on the floor just bleeding." He said trying not to panic.

"Okay, it's okay [Y/N]. You'll be okay." "Here just put this on your wound. We'll get you to a hospital." Dean spoke while he held the piece of cloth on your wound.

Sam picked you up carefully trying not to hurt you. They eventually put you in the back seat and return to the front.

"You're gonna be okay. Just try and hold on baby." Sammy spoke looking at you through the rear view mirror.

"Sammy. I-it hurts." You spoke out. "I know honey. I know."

He hated that he had to see you like this. Especially when he's the one who got you into hunting. Sure, you knew about it. But, you never actually thought about hunting. You're dad was a hunter eventually, that's what got him killed.

That's what made you not want to hunt. It hurt like hell because your dad was the only thing you had left to call family. That was until, Sam and Dean Winchester.

"We're here hurry up." Dean spoke getting out the car and opening the back door to his car to slowly pick you up.

They rushed inside, and asked for a doctor. Eventually, you made it into a hospital room and were resting.

"Sam and Dean Winchester?" Spoke a female voice. "Uh yes, that's us." They spoke in unison. "Okay um, I'm not sure how to say this." "What's going on?" Asked Sam in a worrisome voice. "She's not doing well. She's lost a lot of blood. Her chances of survival are very very slim." "She'll have to be hospitalized until she recovers. If she does that is." The doctor expressed. "Okay thank you." She nodded and walked away.

"Her chances of survival are very very slim." That one sentence replayed in his head over and over and over again. He couldn't lose his best friend. Not now. This is when he needed you the most. He felt angry. Angry that he got you into this in the first place.

"Dean?" Sam said. "Yeah Sammy?" He asked. "Do you think she'll make it?" Sammy asked. "Yeah. She's a strong woman. She'll make it." Dean told him. "I hope so."

It had been days. You still haven't gotten any better. Maybe that was a sign. A sign that It was time to let go. Sammy was just sitting there listening to the beeping monitor. Sam was scared he was soon going to see the flat line that he didn't want to see. That neither of them wanted to.

But, it was too late. The sound he wished he didn't have to hear, he did. You're line went flat. "CAN WE GET A DOCTOR IN HERE" "PLEASE HURRY." A few doctors and nurses came running in, rushing to try and save you. "Okay sir, calm down. We'll try everything we can!" Yelled the nurse. "We're going to need you to step outside real quick." Spoke the doctor. "no no no no. I won't! That's my girlfriend!" Sammy yelled out trying not to cry. "I understand that sir but for now, you should leave!"

He obliged. Sammy didn't have another choice but to stand there and walk away. As he was walking away he Heard something that broke his heart, forever.

"Time of death? 3:26 AM"

He cried out in tears when he sat out in the waiting area. Sammy had called Dean on the phone crying. Telling him about what happened. It broke Dean apart to hear his brother cry and being told that one of his best friends was dead.

"Sammy, are you okay?" Dean asked rushing in. Sam didn't say anything but stand there and cry. Dean rushed to him and hugged. They were both devastated. Emotional. They had lost their one thing that made them their special trio.

"It's going to be okay Sammy." Dean spoke holding back tears.

"Dean, This could be the end of everything."

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

Castiel Masterlist

This is Castiel only.

[destielschi1d]

I need you.

[w0rmk1ngl4nce]

let’s not lie misha was very right 😌

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

I want to thank Misha Collins for inspiring me to do things that, for legal reasons, I cannot disclose online

and no, this is not a joke. Misha, through GISH especially, showed me not just the power of art-as-activism, but what creative modes function best in that setting, and how to organize and lead such efforts.

what I've done with that knowledge, again, would be legally dangerous to admit online

but I'm so happy I know how to do it. I've become a leader in my community, and a supporter of large and powerful movements.

specifically, those spaces know me as an artist. an artist with endless and diverse creative ideas, who knows no fear, takes no shit and is especially good at resistance and point-making via "funny" and lighthearted art.

would Misha approve of what I'm doing?

most likely, FUCK no he wouldn't

he's made himself damn clear where he stands on this stuff, even via silence alone

but I have him to thank anyway.

[deanwinchestersbabygirll]

Needed you Pt 2 ~ Castiel’s version

-warnings// lots of smut, angst and fluff

Needed you pt 1

Castiel x reader ( slight dean x reader)

-word count// 2202

(gif from Pinterest)

It was the next morning and you woke up to the bed empty and cold, you let out a low sigh disappointed you didn't wake up to the handsome angel, you pulled the thin blanket to cover your chest, grabbing your phone you see a notification from Dean 

'Hey sweetheart, listen I'm really sorry for how much of an ass I was to you before leaving, I didn't mean any of it, I know that's no excuse, I think we should have a talk when Sammy and I come back, just us, I want to talk to you about some things.' 

This made your heart race, is Dean going to kick you out of the bunker? yeah sure he apologised but maybe he's only apologising because Sam made him? You let out a shaky breath as your anxiety got the best of you you replied with a quick okay and shut your phone off 

You wondered  if you should pray to Castiel and see where he is, before you can even say his name he's there "you called?" He asked standing at the edge of the bed staring at your nude form that's hid behind the flimsy motel sheet 

you bit your lip as your cheeks turned a red tint under the angles strong gaze "I was about too actually, what time did you leave" you asked pulling the sheet tighter to you, Castiel moved to sit next to you "six this morning there was trouble in heaven I had to see too" he said taking your small hand in his bigger one "I was worried you regretted what happened last night" you confessed 

Castiel shook his head "I would never regret being with you Y/N" Cas replied making you blush as you tried to hide your growing smile "I'd never regret being with you either Cas" you told him as you leaned over to grasp his lips gently in a kiss, he deepened the kiss as he held your jaw softly in his hand

The kiss soon grew heated as the angel slid his tongue in past your swollen lips as you let out a wordless moan, you felt him gently push you to lay back down on the bed and the sheet gently fell around your sides revealing your breasts to the cool air of the motel.

Castiel gently pulled away from the kiss making you whine and chase after his lips, you rushed to take off his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt, he  threw them to the ground revealing his toned chest, staring up at him with a sultry smile you dragged your fingers down his chest before undoing his belt buckle and zipper, you gently pulled his boxers down revealing his hard cock to you,

You gently wrapped your hand around his shaft and placed a small kiss to this tip making him let out a small groan, you slowly started to move your hand up and down his cock causing him to throw his head back and shut his eyes tight in pleasure "Y/N please" he begged making you smirk

You then took his hard cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you began bobbing your head up and down in a slow and steady pace 

He wrapped big hand around your hair to encourage you to take him deeper down your throat causing you to gag slightly on his length "are you alright?" Cas asked worried, you gave him a thumbs up and got back to work with his cock,  milking him for everything the angel could possibly offer

"Y/N!" He moaned loudly as he came in hot spurts hot cum down your throat, you gently pulled away from him as you swallowed

The angel kicked his pants all the way off before laying you down on the bed, kissing his way down your breasts making you moan his name as he continued his venture down your body, stopping at your hot  core "please angel" you said slightly breathless

Cas smirked as he gently spread your legs wider, revealing you completely to him, you let out a low moan as you felt the cool air hot core, Cas licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit, you shuddered at the pleasure and begged him for more "please Cas I need you"

The Angel complied as sucked your attention deprived clit into his mouth, he coated his fingers in your juices as he entered them both inside of you, you let out squeal and arched your back off the bed, Cas curled his fingers and thrusted them upwards hitting your G- spot as he sucked you clit "oh god Cas I'm gonna come!" You screamed, you hand running through his hair pushing him closer to you as sped up his actions, you continued to let out small moans of his name as the knot in your stomach burst and you came hard on Castiel's tongue

The angel groaned kept thrusting his fingers until you orgasm had washed over you, once your legs began to shake Cas pulled away from you and kissed your lips, you moaned as you tasted yourself on his tongue when he deepened the kiss, you wrapped your shaky legs around his waist and pulled him closer to you "I need you so bad cas" you begged 

The angel complied as he placed his hard cock at your entrance, pushing inside you slowly, inch by inch, you moaned against Cas's lips and he slipped his tongue in your mouth, wrestling with you own as he thrusted deep inside of you, hitting your G-spot with his tip every thrust "faster please baby" you cried out, Cas obeyed, gripping your hips tightly in his hands as he pounded inside of you "oh god! Yes Castiel!" You screamed dragging your finger nails down his back leaving deep red lines that would soon fade into the angels skin 

"You feel incredible Y/N!" Cas groaned as he watched your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure and your breasts bounced at the force of every one of his thrusts "i won't last long" you struggled to say "neither will I" Cas said and continued his movements and you soon felt your orgasm come crashing down on you "Cas oh god yes!" You squealed his name on pleasure, Cas groaned and started thrusting faster, triggering his own orgasm, his came inside of you, hot spurts of cum coating your walls as he moaned your name over and over again

Cas pulled out of you after a few more calculated thrusts, he lay down beside you and pulled your tired body right against his "you know for last night being your first time having sex, your pretty fucking good at it" you told him, Cas smiled and kissed your forehead "I learned a lot from the pizza man" the angel said completely serious making you burst into laughter "oh sweetie… that's why you're so adorable" you smiled up at him.

For the next few days while you waited for the boys to get back  you and Castiel wandered around the quaint town, taking in the small scenery however you could only enjoy so much of your time together when you were waiting to talk to Dean... what could he possibly want to talk about?

It was 10m and you and Cas were sat in the motel room waiting for the boys, Sam called a while ago to say they'd be back in an hour. You tapped your fingers along the styrofoam cup of your coffee as you waited your doom "why are you anxious?" The angel asked his head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed as he observed your fidgeting "I'm fine Cas, Dean just wants to talk to me about something so I'm a little worried about what" you told him and he nodded "I hope it's to apologise for how he hurt you" you shook your head swallowing a sip of your bitter coffee "he already did actually on the text… it's something else he wants to-" 

Your sentence was cut off by the sound of the creaky motel door opening "hey we're back" Sam said sporting some new wounds on his face, you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding and ran to hug the giant hunter "I'm so glad you guys are okay" you mumbled into Sam's shoulder" he wrapped his arms around you tightly "yeah me too it was a rough one, really could have done with back up on it" Sam confessed 

“I promise I’ll be there to help next time Sammy” you pulled back from the big hug Turning to a sheepish looking Dean who was sporting a gash across his cheek and a busted lip “…hey” he said his gaze focused on his feet, your face grew hot as your felt the anger bubble in you chest “hey? Are you serious right now! First you basically tell me I’m worthless to you, that you don’t care if I live or die oh and then you send me a text apologising, which by the way doesn’t count as a real apology, and now all you have to say is hey? Are you fucking kidding me dean!” You yelled making all three boys stare at you in shock

“no I- I have a lot more to say, I just I don’t know how to do it. Look can we go somewhere and just talk in private?” dean asked his cheeks turning redder by the second “alright fine by me, let’s go” you grumbled out and stomped past him toward the impala dean following close behind.

“So what did you want to tell me Dean?” You asked with venom laced in your voice “Y/N, I’m so sorry for what I said to you, I didn’t mean it… I just-I- son of a bitch I don’t know how to say this” dean stuttered, hitting the steering wheel in frustration 

you sighed, placing your hand on his to calm him down, Dean turned to look at you “just talk to me dean” you told him softly rubbing your thumb along his rough hand. He let out a deep sigh before leaning forward capturing your lips with his in a fierce kiss, you kissed him back wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you, Dean slipped his tongue passed your lips, you pulled back suddenly “wait Dean, I can’t” you told him 

“I’m sorry I just I didn’t know how to tell you I liked you I just thought I could show you, son of a- I’m an idiot” dean chocked out moving back against the drivers door, you leaned toward him “no dean your not an idiot, it’s just Cas and I are together now” you confessed and he nodded in understanding “dean I used to really like you, Sam used to try and get me to tell you but I was scared, and you didn’t seem interested, especially with how mean you could be to me.. I honestly thought you hated me so I started talking to Cas and we’ve gotten really close over the past couple years he became my best friend and I started to have feelings for him and it turns out he liked me too” you told Dean as tears streamed down your face

Dean smiled at you “I get it, I hope you guys are really happy together,  you deserve to be happy” he said quickly before scrambling out of the car

You jumped out after him trying to talk to him as he headed towards town “Dean wait, please don’t walk away from me” you cried out but he didn’t stop.

You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down as your headed toward Sam and your boyfriend, Sam was on his feet as soon as you walked in the room “hey what happened? Where’s Dean?” He questioned when he seen the tears streaming down your face “we talked about some things and he headed towards town, I think you should check on him” Sam nodded and headed out to find his brother 

“What did dean wish to speak to you about” the angel asked as he sat next to you on the bed you sighed and wiped the tears from your face “dean and I had a lot to unfold and secrets came out into the opening  and he walked off upse- god this is horrible I never wanted to hurt him like that… I haven’t seen him so upset in a long time” you cried and Cas pulled you into him “It’ll be okay, I’ve got you” he said placing a kiss on the top of your head “thanks Cas that means a lot to me” you said placing a kiss on his scruffy jaw

The angel turned to gaze into your eyes with a loving stare, he placed his lips on yours in a small kiss “I’m falling in love with you Y/N Y/LN” he confessed to you making your heart swell in your chest “I’m falling in love with you too Castiel”.

___________________________________________

ALL MY OWN WORK I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO COPY OR PUBLISH ON OTHER SITES , I.E WATTPAD, ETC, WITHOUT MESSAGING TO ASK FIRST

Finally the long awaited part 2 of my Castiel imagine, hope you all like it… and incase anyone was wondering I couldn’t help myself but make a Dean version too ;) that’ll be out very soon, for my Castiel girlies please enjoy

to the guys that wanted tagged in part 2 I promise I didn’t forget about you :))

@sluttysammyy

@nescavaneck

@star-yawnznn

[castiwls]

Omggg hii ok so I've always wanted a fic about what the readers and Castiel's conversation or just interaction in general would be. If the two were already in an established relationship and when Lucifer was possessing Castiel had gotten intimate or something with the reader, not knowing it was Lucifer and thinking it was Castiel of course. What would his reaction be and how would he feel. Especially since he probably had to watch the whole thing go down but could do absolutely nothing about it. How would the two make up and such. <3

this is me trying - c.n

Paring; Castiel x fem!reader

Synopsis; You and Castiel struggle with the aftermath of Lucifer

Warnings; Maybe occ

Notes; Hiii tysm for the request! I've truthfully not wrote for Castiel in soo long so I apologise if this is kinda occ.

Masterlist

“and maybe i don’t quite know what to say but I’m here in your doorway”

Taking a deep breath you leaned back against the headboard of your bed. The book in your lap no longer held your attention as you stared blankly down at it. You didn’t know how to feel about the events which have transpired over the last few days, at first you were angry and then that anger seemed to dissipate into an emptiness mixed with guilt. 

Guilt that you’d not paid enough attention to notice that for the past few weeks, Lucifer had been running around in your boyfriend's body. Playing it back in your head now you noticed the strange behaviour but at the moment you’d paid no mind. 

“Y/n. We need to talk.” Castiel’s voice brought you out of your head. He stood in the doorway a slight frown on his face. You knew exactly what he wanted to talk about but the whole situation still brought a bad taste to your mouth. He watched you for a moment before letting out a sigh and moving into the room. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed he turned to you. “I’m not sure what else to say other than sorry.” The angel looked down at his hands as he spoke. You’d never seen him look as regretful as he did now. 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me? We could’ve spoken about it Cas.” You placed your book to the side before crossing your legs. “I basically cheated on you, do you know how that feels.” You let out a sigh before reaching over to grab his hand. “I’m not angry at you, I just…I let him into our space, and I told him things thinking I was talking to you. I let him kiss me Cas, and it’s all I can think about.” 

In truth, the guilt had been pretty much eating you alive. The emptiness you felt now came from the fact that the guilt had seemingly taken everything else. He was quiet for a moment before squeezing your hand and looking back up.

His eyes met yours for a moment before he shifted slightly closer. “It’s not your fault what happened. It’s my fault I know that,” He frowned again going quiet. You knew from the look on his face that he was struggling to find the words to express how he felt. 

He had his own guilt over the whole situation. Having to sit back and watch someone else pretend to be him and interact with you in that way had left him feeling angry and helpless in a way he’d never experienced before. Seeing how it had affected you though was worse than any guilt he could ever feel. 

“I’m willing to work with you.” He finished after a moment. He smiled at you before squeezing your hand again. “Thank you.” You squeezed his hand back. You were both quiet for a moment before you patted the space next to you. The tension from his shoulders seemed to drop at your invite and he happily moved next to you.

This was the first time since Lucifer that you’d both been alone together. A sigh of contentment left you as you settled into his side. You knew things weren’t gonna go straight back to how they were. Castiel had still broken your trust by doing what he’d done but you also knew that he would do anything to regain your trust.

You smiled up at him before leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. A smile graced his lips as your lips met his and for that moment you allowed yourself to forget about the past few weeks.

[oldermenlvrgrl]

𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮, to heaven

❝ 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐲. 𝐄𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧. 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐣-T. ❞

Older men 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔𝒕™

Disclaimer:

“Retiring from writing taboo smut now transitioning into softer themes! Do not fret, smut shall be written but in a more sensible and tame manner.”

𝐻𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝓊𝓃, 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝓈𝓉, 𝒹𝒾𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔.

Say yes to heaven.

♱ Masterlist