#Modern objects bucket

[softpawsxd]

POV: Me when my fictional crushes think that i'm cursing them for some reason...

(ORIGINAL AUDIO CAN BE FOUND ON INSTAGRAM! ^w^)

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

like when we were kids

[gavonosc]

WOAH! Modern objects!

[moonglow-the-artist]

So.. does anyone here know that one survival game? Ya know? Those ones where you craft and having to survive the night while fighting off creatures and gathering resources? No?

Welp, this'll refresh your mind on what game I'm referring to

Paintbrush (Inanimate Insanity)

Greenyguy (Greeny's Grand Game/Mickey Mouse Battle House Again)

Bucket (Modern Objects)

OJ (Object Invasion)

Jacob Fairclough (Mickey Mouse Battle House Again)

Have y'all guessed it? It's Don't Starve lol, I'm making Object Show x Don't Starve/Don't Starve Together AU

I might post more of this AU considering my hyperfixation on this now

[skythealmighty]

more art w no context

[osc-reblogs]

objectober 19: creature/monster

[sunmoon-starfactory]

Loads o' Laundry 2.0

2 years after the release of Loads o' Laundry, we now present: Loads o' Laundry 2.0: a much-improved version of the Laundry mod and system!

Several gameplay features have been improved and many annoyances bigger and smaller have been resolved! A large number of new objects have also been added for your enjoyment. Sims 3 and 4 players may see some familiar things... Overall, it represents a marked improvement over the original version.

Furthermore, the Laundry Mod now comes with full language support for Dutch, French and European Portuguese with more coming soon... Edit: Polish has been added!

Before proceeding further, make sure you have the following requirements installed:

Requirements

Easy Lot Check

Easy Inventory Check

Smarter EP Check

Money Globals

Time-out Controller

Fetch Water (water bucket)

Suds 'n Bubbles (for making your own detergent)

Flowing Fabrics (for the fresh outfit)

Various master meshes (see Manual)

A more detailed list of requirements as well as detailed instructions can be found in the Manual.

Gameplay overview and Download links below the cut

Gameplay Overview

Your Sims will now generate laundry if their hygiene is low enough. This requires the Laundry Global Mod (offered separately from the objects) as well as a Laundry-related object being present on the lot.

Sims may store their laundry in a hamper. Sometimes automatically if it's close enough and your Sim is inclined to be neat....

Wash and dry your clothes: a variety of both historic and modern, manual and mechanical ways to wash and dry your laundry are included.

Tired of the laundry piling up? Simply place a "Laundry-Begone-Box" on your lot and your Sims will no longer generate laundry!

Laundry Global Mod

The global mod is the backbone of the laundry system. You will need it in order to have your sims produce laundry. As it is a Global Mod, it is in its own rar. The Laundry Mod also has various trait-related features for you to enjoy:

Support for the Nevernude, Neat and Slob trait

Support for the following custom lifestates: Ghost, Mermaid & SkeleBro

NEW: Support for @anachronisims' Nudist trait

NEW: Hamper magic! If your sims are neat enough, they may automatically put their dirty laundry in the hamper (if there's one in the room)

MAC-compatible!

You need to have the file "SunMoon-Laundry_Hamper_Wicker_Round-REQUIRED" in your folder in order for the global mod to work!

Washers, Dryers, Tubs and Lines

Your Sims may wash their laundry using a wide variety of both manual tubs and modern washers. Both of these require detergent to use. Of course, after your laundry has been washed, you can dry them using either a dryer or a line. Just make sure not to hang your laundry outside on a rainy day. Just a small overview of the features offered:

Laundromat mode: run your own laundromat business at home or on a community lot! Sims will actually wash their dirty laundry! Of course, it works for visiting Sims too!

NEW: @anachronisims Big Spender Trait now effects the likelihood of a Sim using a laundromat machine

NEW: Stock your washer or tub with a detergent of your choice; no longer will you need an entire box of detergent for a small load, now one detergent will last multiple loads!

NEW: 2 extra detergents have been added. You can now choose between a Box or Bottle of detergent, Soap Solution or even a Baggy of Soap Nuts!

NEW: The fabulous @jellymeduza has created a fantastic little ceiling rack for drying your laundry

NEW: Many more washers and dryers straight from the Sims 3 and 4

NEW: Modern laundry detergent vendor. You can still access any laundry product still despite its looks.

Custom sounds and animations: not only does laundry come with custom (Sims 4) animations courtesy of @mortia, there are also some custom sounds!

Color Controller

This set also comes with a "Color Controller". This object allows you to choose the look of not only your newly-spawned laundry, but also how the fabric on your drying lines looks like! Use only ONE per lot.

Bonus

Another new feature is the (optional) support for @lazyduchess Laundry token: players with FT installed, have the option of downloading his laundry mod and getting the same slower motive decay for comfort when changing into different clothes using our fresh outfit object. Players without FT and/or this token will get a small bonus to the comfort motive instead. This is NOT available for MAC-users! You will need the following files from his mod should you want this feature:

ld_BecksLaundryMotiveDecayController

ld_BecksLaundryMotiveDecayToken

Download links

Now for what you have all been waiting for: the download links. REMOVE all old files before updating! File names have been changed!

Download Laundry Global Mod (Required) Download Loads o' Laundry (objects) View Manual

Localization

Added support for Dutch

Added support for European Portuguese - Obrigada @logansimmingwolverine!

Added support for French - Merci @helene2troie !

Partial language support for many other languages has been added in the form of catalog descriptions for Sims 3 and 4 conversions. (NOTE: 3t2 conversions have no Simplified Chinese, 4t2 conversions have no Hungarian. None of them have Thai)

Polish, Russian and Brazilian Portuguese support is currently in progress and should hopefully become available sometime in early 2024

Would you like to have this set fully translated into YOUR language? Don't hesistate to make a translation using the localization strings. Just send it over when you're done and we will add it to the set! (send it via or Discord or PM fireflowersims)

Special credits and thanks: @gayars, @2fingerswhiskey, @picknmixsims, @lazyduchess, @jellymeduza, @logansimmingwolverine, Gaby, @hodgekiss, @mustluvcatz-reloaded, CashCraft, ATS/Sandy, EAxis, all the people who helped to localize The Sims 3 and 4, all our many wonderful Beta testers

[verxsyon]

·:*¨༺ ❝ 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ❞

it’s summer: the season of thrills and bittersweetness.

✧ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. bronya, dan heng, gepard, jing yuan, sampo, seele, & serval x gn!reader

✧ 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭. headcanon (written) ; 0.6k

✧ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞. modern au, summer romance au ; angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

✧ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. one night stand (sampo), unrequited love (gepard)

✧ 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚. omg vera comeback! i’m finally free from classes and i’m off from work for three weeks so yay proper summer break! oh yeah, i finally got bronya! my seele’s no longer gf-less. so this is supposed to be bittersweet with ambiguous endings throughout but uh, my mind went elsewhere with most of them lmao. hopefully this makes sense; my writing’s pretty rusty. special thanks to pigeon from the teahouse server who came up with the title!

𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐚. a sheltered heiress who is secretly a thrill seeker. at night, she sneaks into an underground club where she hangs out with the only person who doesn’t treat her any differently despite her status. on very last visit, she reveals she’ll be married soon and her mother discovered her escapades, forbidding her from such activities. that doesn’t stop you from crashing the wedding and presenting a (fake) ring to object to the marriage, having you as her spouse instead.

𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠. a tenant under your grandparents as well as an assistant of their small business. his aloof personality is intimidating at first, not saying much as he accompanies you around your grandparents’ residence, but there’s more to him in his eyes. his nightmares catch up with him the moment he falls for you, and now he has to repress it to keep you safe. the more he pushes away, the more he wants to yell for help, and you hate to come home with a guilty conscience.

𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐝. an estranged friend who has been serving the military, and is spending his off-duty at home. you haven’t seen him in years, so it is expected to start off awkwardly, but the two of you are glad to see each other again. besides reconnecting with friends and family, he wishes to resolve his biggest regret, being unable to confess his love for you. but maybe it should stay that way when he meets your fiancé, and all he can say is congratulations.

𝐣𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐮𝐚𝐧. a playful businessman who visits the bar just for his new favorite bartender. your coworker is gone for the entire summer, so you become the target of his flirting. at this point you’ve known the guy for a while, except he has a son who you’ve met at the bar, both terrible in acting and flirting. soon his infamous father arrives, not surprised that his son is there and is happy that he finally met you, his “partner”. perhaps you’ll await an explanation on your date.

𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐨. a notorious thief who stole your precious belongings along with your dignity one fateful night. within this season, you’re set to finish your bucket list, however, thanks to a certain someone, there aren’t enough funds. speaking of which, he sees the nearest person and pulls you into an alleyway to hide from the police. recognizing each other, he offers to help you with your bucket list as a deal. not only did he steal your things, he stole your heart as well.

𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐞. a free spirit with a rebellious streak. she’s invited to the road trip, viewing it as an opportunity to assess her strength and explore more of the world. the beginning starts off rocky, her clashing with you about meticulous things and the others are trying their best to diffuse the situation. if the arguments teach you one thing, the girl is honest. the one thing she isn’t is when it has to do with her crush on you, hoping the arguments will come in handy.

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐥. a fairly popular musician whose name you’ve never heard of until your friend drags you to attend her concert. forced to listen to her setlist before the big day, you slowly become a fan and are able to memorize some of the lyrics. while outside one day, you’re so in the moment that a stylish woman excitedly says she recognizes the music. the brief friendship results in her contact info and gratitude for your support. then you realize, you know who she is now.

✧ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬. if your url is in bold, it means i can’t tag you!

@kamiyatos​​

[kylobith]

Little Town Tails

Chapter 6: Something Fishy

Summary: A curious visitor comes to Emerald Grove.

Ship/Pairing: Halsin x Fem!Tav

Trope: Modern AU, Meet-cute, Little countryside town, Cosy

Word count: 4,831

Read it on Ao3 here

Listen to the dedicated playlist on Spotify here

‘Ah, Halsin, there you are!’

‘Good morning, Jaheira,’ he greets the florist back with a bright grin. He wipes his muddy shoes on the rubber mat outside until they are presentable enough to go in. Behind him, Scratch sits at the door, unleashed, waiting for Halsin to be done with his visit before heading home.

Jaheira grins at the white dog and whistles, calling him inside. The dog eyes his owner hesitantly, but when the latter gives him an approving nod, Scratch trots up behind the counter to be petted by his host. She grabs the banana she was snacking on and takes off a piece she offers him.

Halsin approaches the counter and smiles at the sight, always happy to see that his dog is accepted somewhere. While petting Scratch behind the ears, Jaheira looks at his visitor and smirks.

‘Walked around the forest this morning again?’

‘Indeed. The weather was perfect, but last night’s rain made the ground a bit soft, as you could tell from my boots.’

‘It’s always like that. At least they say that this spring will bring more sunny days than usual,’ she adds, chuckling as the dog lies down at her feet. ‘Anyway, did you happen to see Minsc at all? I’ve been trying to call him for two days because he ordered a fresh bouquet, but now the flowers are waning.’

He leans on his elbows and fidgets with one of her business cards on the counter.

‘I did, he was patrolling the area by the other bridge. Had I known, I would have reminded him.’

‘Oh, don’t bother. It’s always like that with him. He tends to forget what he orders on a whim. He’s always ready to support my shop since I opened but he never picks up his orders. He did, once, but that was a flower for Boo’s birthday and he ordered flax seeds. That was it.’

They share a laugh. Minsc certainly is quite the character, anyone meeting him can tell. Quite eccentric compared to the rest of Heawick, but he adds to the charm of the community. Whenever somebody needs help, whether when the flower shop was merely an idea sprouting into Jaheira’s mind or with Beaky’s incident with the bear trap, he never hesitates to lend a hand, even though it tends to distract him from his daily tasks and chores. Yet, there is no better forest warden.

Jaheira flips through the pages of her logbook and finds Halsin’s recent order.

‘So, the spider plant, was it?’ she says absent-mindedly. ‘Found a gorgeous one for you. Fluffy, in good health. Perfect for your counter.’

‘Eager to see it!’

She chuckles and heads to the back to fetch the plant. She returns with precisely what she promised him, setting it down on her counter for him to examine. He touches the long leaves between his fingers, sensing the freshness of their greenish white stripes and admiring the way that they curve elegantly around the gold-painted bucket serving as its display pot.

‘What a beauty!’ he coos, his eyes sparkling in awe. ‘How much do I owe you?’

‘Eighteen gold coins.’

‘Perfect, thank you.’

He takes out and begins to rummage through his coin purse, which takes Jaheira by surprise and causes her to smile. Shaped like the head of a teddy bear, its fur is made from light brown fleece, and the eyes and nose are embroidered in black and pink thread. He bought it at a flea market a few years ago on one of the rare holidays he allowed himself to take. Many raised an eyebrow to see a grown man buy it for himself, but even though he is far from materialistic, it is one of the few objects that he has grown particularly fond of.

He places the eighteen gold coins in the palm of Jaheira’s hand and slips two more into her tip jar.

‘Thank you,’ she says with a brief bow of her head. ‘Don’t forget to repot it from time to time, the roots tend to grow fast. And water it once to twice a week. It’s usually alright if you skip a week, as long as you don’t do it for a month straight.’

The veterinarian laughs and watches the florist remove the plant from the yellow pot. He purses his lips and tilts his head.

‘How much for that pot? It suits the plant quite well.’

Jaheira stops and eyes the bucket.

‘Oh, this? Ah, just take it. On the house.’

‘Certainly not,’ Halsin protests, unzipping his coin purse again and counting the coins in it. ‘Name your price.’

‘I insist, take it. I bought it years ago but it doesn’t suit my home, I use it for visualisation most of the time… Or as a pencil pot.’

She nudges it towards him with a wink. With a sigh and a heavy blush, Halsin slips ten gold coins into the tip jar and winks back. Once the plant is back in the bucket, he calls out for Scratch, who seeks one last pet from Jaheira, then rushes to his owner’s feet. The veterinarian and the florist exchange cheerful goodbyes, and the former exits the shop with his dog in tow and the spider plant tucked in the crook of his elbow.

Halsin whistles a tune as he crosses Heawick with his free hand buried in his pocket. He nods politely at everybody he sees with a smile and continues his walk back to Emerald Grove. The town is still awaking from its slumber and some of the shops are only just opening. Sometimes it still surprises him that Jaheira decides to open hers this early, but as she once said to him, she prefers to tackle her daily routine in the early hours, then close one or two hours before most shops so she can enjoy the town herself and have a longer evening to relax or meet up with her friends at the old pub on Westway Street.

Come to think of it, it is not such a bad idea. Shop owners and employees seldom have the opportunity to shop for themselves, unless they work half shifts or rely on partners who have the time to buy everything they need. More often, their only occasion to do so is on Saturdays, but the busy aisles deter quite a few. Since Heawick has a wider variety of establishments of all the nearing towns — not counting the city, of course —, its streets bustle with visitors on that particular day.

As he turns onto his street, he switches hands to hold the plant and fumbles through his pocket to find his keys. When he pulls them out and looks up to make sure that he does not walk too far, he notices the figure of a man peering through the windows of the practice. Dressed in black from head to toe, matching with his silky and spiky raven hair, the man does not seem to have come with a pet and does not seem particularly eager to enter.

‘Good morning,’ Halsin greets him with an eyebrow raised. ‘May I help you? Do you have or need an appointment?’

The man is startled despite the veterinarian’s soft tone. He straightens up and looks over at Halsin, seemingly analysing him in detail. The stranger rubs his index and thumb together and scowls at Scratch, who does not dare approach him at all. His demeanour already betrays the fact that he comes from the richer quarters of the city and is not used to visiting the area at all. There is a haughty air to him in the way that he carries himself, as if the word ‘peasant’ is about to slip off his tongue at any moment to describe Halsin and his shockingly unleashed pet.

‘No,’ he replies in a honeyed tone still tinted with firmness. ‘But I will come back later.’

Without uttering another word, the man spins around on his heel and walks away, leaving Halsin utterly confused with his key in hand. What a strange character.

The veterinarian shrugs it off and enters the dark practice, ushering Scratch inside before closing the door again behind him. He walks over to Karlach’s counter and finds a suitable spot for the plant, making sure to stand on both sides of the desk to ensure that the view is not obstructed for neither his assistant or a patient’s owner. But in the end, he finds that it does not quite fit there with the cards and flyers and tip jar, so he carries it over to the small coffee table in the centre of the waiting room. At least, if the anxious pets munch on the leaves, they will not be sick from it.

After a brief shower and a change into scrubs, he lets Scratch rest upstairs and heads back to the practice to follow the daily opening routine. As he takes a minute to make himself a cup of fruity tea — a bold decision considering how often he drinks his signature mint and honey infusion —, his mobile phone pings. Karlach’s name appears on the screen.

‘Morning doc, sorry but I’ll be late today, Vixen just won’t start! I’ll be there ASAP, promise promise!’

Halsin grins and immediately types back as he flicks the light switches on and shuffles towards the front door without paying much attention to his surroundings.

‘It should be quiet for the first hour, hopefully you will have found a way by then. Good luck finding an alternative! Perhaps you can ask Gale? Halsin. PS: I hope that Vixen will be alright. Too bad that she is not the type of vixen that I would treat at the practice :-).’

His wrist flicks to unlock the door while he re-reads the message to correct any typos he might have made. Eager to let some fresh air in, he opens the door wide.

‘Morning, doctor!’

Halsin nearly drops his phone when he jolts in surprise, not having expected that somebody might have already arrived. After all, he does not have any appointment planned before an hour. Outside, wiping her feet on the mat, Tav smiles at him with twinkling eyes and a light flush from noticing that her sudden greeting startled him.

His heart instantly leaps inside his chest and his lips mirror her grin.

‘Oh, good morning Miss Ashguard! I apologise for my reaction, I did not expect such an early visit. Is everything alright?’

Tav quickly combs her fingers through her freshly-cut curtain fringe. It suits her incredibly well, he catches himself thinking. The way that it sweeps across her eyebrows, its colour only highlighting the deep blue of her irises… It nearly steals the breath from his lungs.

‘Yes, yes, everything’s fine!’

He steps aside and invites her inside. As she passes him by with a light step, he closes his eyes for a second, savouring the aroma of her flowery perfume. As he realises what he is doing, he clears his throat and follows her to the reception.

‘Do you need anything more for the case against Mr Bongle? Perhaps I have forgotten to include some information in the report?’

She leans her elbows on the counter and does not seem able to eff the smile across her rosy cheeks. The sight, however sweet and pleasant, does stir something within him and he curses himself internally for reacting the way that he does.

‘No, not at all. The lawyer said it was quite complete, actually. She’s revising the case and I just have to wait now,’ she chimes with a shrug. ‘I’ve come here because there’s a stray cat in my street that’s been going around for a while but lately he’s been looking quite thinner. The old lady who used to feed it everyday died a few weeks ago, and I’m not sure anyone feeds him anymore.’

Her gaze wanders over to the rows of kibble bags on the display shelves.

‘I’d like to buy some food for him just to be on the safe side, and since I don’t want to risk giving him the wrong stuff, I thought I’d buy it here.’

‘I see,’ he responds with a nod. His eyes brighten up at the thought that she cares for an animal that is not hers. Most people he has seen refuse to approach stray animals out of fear that they might catch diseases or fleas, and while some caution is always advised, too many of them end up suffering all sorts of infections that go untreated and only cause them agony. Knowing that there is someone like Tav out there caring enough to notice the change in the cat’s weight gives him hope.

Halsin steps back to peruse the selection he has got, heading straight to the cat section.

‘Do you know how old the cat is, approximately?’ he asks.

‘Mmh, he doesn’t look too old. Hears and sees properly from what I know, his fur isn’t too patchy. Some neighbour said the old lady fed him for about three years.’

‘Then let us take one for adult cats to be on the safe side. I suppose that you do not happen to know what type of kibble she gave him?’

‘Not at all. Sorry.’

He nods and asks her a few more questions about what behaviours she has noticed from the cat in general. Once he is able to define a clearer profile of the animal, he picks a bag and sets it down on the counter, pointing at the information written on it with his pen.

‘This is food that is perfect for a cat used to the outdoors, aged five years or more. If it turns out that he is slightly younger, that should not cause any trouble. Since you said that he is on the lighter side, I would recommend thirty grammes of kibble per day. See how much he manages to eat and add a little more if he starts gaining a bit of weight again. But do not give him more than forty-five grammes, since it is likely that he hunts mice or birds on the side.’

‘Noted!’

Reaching into a cabinet behind the reception, he takes out a measuring cup and places it next to the bag.

‘This should help you measure the food without a kitchen scale.’

‘Practical. Alright, let’s take it!’

Halsin smiles and circles the recommended doses on the bag so she does not forget the amount he has told her to give the stray cat. He signs in to his software and enters the right reference to log the sale.

‘Would you like me to add it to your patient account in case you need to buy some new kibble later on?’

‘Gladly,’ she responds cheerfully, leaning her cheek into the palm of her hand while watching him typing on the keyboard.

‘Done! That will be twenty-two gold coins, please. The measuring cup is free.’

Tav takes out her credit card and pays for the bag. Once her wallet is stored away into her small cross-body bag, she carries the dry food under her arm and holds the measuring cup between her fingers.

‘Thank you very much, doctor.’

‘You are most welcome. If anything, I should thank you for caring for the cat.’

She returns his smile and tucks her hair behind her pointy ear, whose tip is reddening. Before he starts staring at it, Halsin drums his fingers on the counter.

‘Oh, before I forget, I beg you not to leave out milk for the cat, because—’

‘— because cats are naturally lactose intolerant,’ she completes his sentence with a smug expression that can be likened to this of a pupil who is proud to show that they have learnt their lessons by heart.

‘Indeed,’ he chuckles. ‘Well, it seems that the cat is in most capable hands, I can sleep soundly at night.’

Tav laughs and readjusts her grip on the bag.

‘When I’m released into society, I’m the type to always bring up that fact and everyone gets annoyed,’ she laughs.

‘At least you are spreading the good word out there. I did not know that you were doing public service on top of jingle compositions.’

‘I’m full of surprises, doctor.’

They share a playful grin, which lingers perhaps a bit longer than it should. His heart stirs when he notices the twinkle in her eye and the subtle reddening of her cheekbones. When her fingers unconsciously loosen around the measuring cup and it slips out of her grasp, he skilfully catches it before it bounces on the floor and hands it back to her.

‘Oh, thanks,’ she mumbles bashfully, tucking it under her free arm. ‘If anything goes wrong with the cat, can I try and bring him here?’

‘Of course. I will be happy to help.’

‘You’re the best! Thanks again. Have a lovely day, doctor.’

‘You too, Miss Ashguard. If you have any doubts, you can always contact me.’

‘I will!’

She waves at him and walks out of the practice. His eyes follow her as he sighs dreamily. However, his distraction is quickly cut short when he finds himself face to face with Astarion stepping inside with a cup of blood from the butcher.

‘Morning.’

‘Ah, good morning, my friend! Could I ask you a favour?’

The vampire grunts and slides his sunglasses up, letting them rest on top of his head. His ruby irises scowl at the veterinarian. Favours are never good in the younger man’s book. Or rarely.

‘I suppose I don’t have a choice,’ he mumbles. ‘What do you want?’

Halsin crosses his arms. No matter how much he tries to connect with him, even if just on a superficial level, Astarion always keeps his guard up and his distance. Honeyed words sometimes ornate his speech, but they never feel genuine, merely a façade that shelters him from others. He does not need to befriend him, of course, but he wishes that they could get along as well as he and Karlach do. But again, everything is easier with her. Sometimes, she might be too social and kind in a world that does not always value such qualities.

‘Karlach’s motorcycle broke down this morning, so she will be late. Do you mind working the reception until she arrives?’

Panic fills Astarion’s eyes right away. He furrows his brow and tries to act nonchalant, but his hesitation clearly stands out.

‘Wh— I don’t even know how any of this works!’

‘Do not worry, I am not saying that you must do all her tasks. If you could keep an eye on the appointments list and welcome the patients, that will help tremendously already. If the phone rings, answer it and write down the names and numbers, I will call them back between consultations. If it is urgent, do not hang up; call for me instead.’

‘Mh. That sounds doable. Alright.’

Astarion walks to the kitchen to drop his jacket and sunglasses, then comes back to the reception. He sits behind the desk and Halsin shows him everything he needs to know. Then, the veterinarian walks into his office and logs in to the general inbox and answers some emails himself.

Soon enough, the first appointment of the day arrives and Astarion directs them to the waiting room, where Halsin eventually comes to call them in. The consultation goes smoothly despite the very reticent puppy howling dramatically at the prospect of receiving one of her first shots. When he is done, Halsin guides the owner and the pet to the reception and registers the payment himself, before offering a treat to the brave puppy.

When they walk out, Halsin’s phone pings again.

‘Found a way, Dammon is bringing me. Be there in ten. Btw, doc, did you just make a joke?? And use a smiley??! Who are you and what did you do to Doc Halsin???’

Halsin laughs and updates Astarion on Karlach’s estimated time of arrival. Before the second consultation, a grumpy customer enters and asks for an anti-flea treatment suitable for a corgi. Once he has explained how to apply the solution efficiently, the veterinarian slithers back behind the desk and Astarion rolls a few inches away with his chair to give him enough space to deal with it all. 

‘Do you already have an account?’ Halsin asks the amber-eyed tiefling, whose tail is whipping around behind him in annoyance.

‘This little shit is not my dog, thank the Gods!’ the customer answers with a scoff and a roll of his eyes. ‘He’s my sister’s.’

‘I see. Does she have an account?’

‘Listen, can I just buy the treatment and go? I feel like I’m being devoured by fleas myself as we speak!’

‘Of course.’

Without protesting, he processes the sale and gives the little pipettes to the young man, who turns around with another scoff and leaves as fast as he can, scratching his head harder than he probably should.

Eyeing the man with concern, Halsin leans towards Astarion.

‘Do you think the dog is at risk with him?’

Much to his surprise, the vampire laughs while filing his nails and admiring the result.

‘Most likely. I know him. Well, know is perhaps a strong word, but I’ve spoken to him a few times. As you can clearly tell, he’s from the city. He’s one of the most arrogant pricks I’ve talked to, and it takes one to know one. He owns a bookshop specialised in academic publications of all sorts, and my husband happens to love the place.’

Could it be? Is he actually opening up by accepting to gossip with him? Not that Halsin particularly likes hearsay and talking negatively about people in their backs, but this exchange already brightens up his day.

The vampire carefully taps his glass nail file on the edge of the bin under the desk to rid it of dust, then tucks it away in its little sleeve.

‘But don’t worry, Rolan’s all bark and no bite, he won’t hurt that pup,’ he continues while shoving the file inside his shirt pocket. ‘You know, he’s clever and all, but Gale took him down a notch a couple of times. You know what? I think my husband’s at his hottest when he gives arrogant people a reality check.’

‘That is good to know, I suppose.’

‘Trust me, doc, I think your next appointment’s here.’

Indeed, the next patient comes in and Halsin welcomes him warmly. Halfway through the consultation, he hears the faint sounds of the sewing machine upstairs, and he concludes that Karlach must have arrived in the meantime and relieved Astarion of his temporary duty.

Halsin does not see her until he finishes the next examination and logs everything into the computer. His assistant pokes her head in when the patient leaves and speaks in a hushed voice.

‘Morning, doc! Uh… There’s an odd chum lurking around in the lobby, doesn’t have a pet or anything and he keeps ignoring me when I ask him if I can help him.’

The veterinarian turns around with an eyebrow raised and instantly rises from his high stool.

‘Go back to the reception, I will talk to him.’

Karlach nods and does as he instructed her, sitting back on her chair and anxiously browsing playlists for something that will calm her nerves while being acceptable to play from the practice’s speakers. Situations like this one is among those she has been dreading most about working at Emerald Grove. Owners losing their pets and leaving without their furry or feathery friends remains the worst of all, but weird and creepy people are close.

In previous jobs, she had her fair share of lurking visitors and customers who made her feel uncomfortable, but the employee handbooks always stated that she could not shoo them away outright. Either a manager or security had to do it. Sadly, it often left her feeling incapable of fending for herself and infantilised.

Soon enough and much to her relief, help is on the way and Halsin arrives, clicking a pen. Without making himself look menacing either, he puffs up his chest slightly. If anybody seeks trouble, he is hoping that his size and his brawn will dissuade whoever stands before him. But as he catches a glimpse of the man in question, his stomach tightens. Intent on not showing his discomfort to Karlach, he smiles and speaks as naturally as possible.

‘Good afternoon, sir. I believe we have met this morning, you were looking inside the practice before opening time?’

The man turns around with a smug smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes so dark that one cannot quite pinpoint their colour. Now that Halsin is closer, he can discern the man’s outfit more clearly. Tucked into high-waisted trousers, his tailored black silk shirt with the top five buttons left undone allows his black chest hair to peek out. His overcoat adorned with golden embroideries has its collar upturned, completely covering the back of his neck. If anything, it gives him a menacing look, as though he is the villain of a fairytale come to life, but dressed as a model.

‘You are the veterinarian who owns the practice, aren’t you?’ the man answers at last with a brief squint of his eyes.

‘Indeed, I am. May I be of any help?’

‘Oh, I am merely looking around.’

As he says so, the stranger buries his hands into his pockets and paces around, inspecting the walls and the layout of the reception and the waiting room. Karlach sneaks a glance towards her boss, wondering how he is going to handle this most peculiar situation. Without blinking, Halsin steps forward, tucking his pen into the breast pocket of his scrubs.

‘May I know what you are looking for, sir?’

‘This is a beautiful working space you’ve got here. Most impressive.’

Before he can press him on, the stranger faces Halsin with a smirk, rubbing his fingers together in the same unsettling way that he did earlier this morning.

‘Tell me, have you ever considered selling this practice?’

Halsin crosses his arms. This time, he has no intention to behave in the same friendly manner. While he knows that escalating such a ridiculous situation would be useless, he knows now that he does not want this man lurking around anymore.

‘No, sir. We have only just opened, thank you very much. Now, if you do not wish to make an appointment or buy anything for a pet, I kindly ask you to leave. I must soon tend to another patient.’

‘Oh, that’s a bloody shame. Well. I’ll see what I can do.’

The man reaches into his inside pocket and takes out a business card, which he hands the veterinarian by tucking it between two well-groomed fingers.

‘In case you change your mind, I would be very happy to discuss it with you. Here’s my contact information. The name’s Enver Gortash.’

Without as much as a goodbye, Gortash walks out of the practice, leaving a dumbfounded pair at the reception. Karlach stands up from her chair, her gaze shifting between the door and Halsin.

‘What in the hells just happened, doc? What the fuck was that about?’

Her boss examines the business card he is holding with a deep frown.

‘I have no clue, Karlach. I am quite at a loss, to be honest with you.’

‘What did he say his name was?’

Halsin hands her the business card. Before she even gives it a look, she sits back on her chair and drags her keyboard towards herself, instantly typing the name in her browser. His curiosity piqued by the results, he joins her behind the desk and leans in to read what comes up on the screen. Karlach clicks on a biographical article from a business-centred media website and begins to skim it.

‘Fuck me, Gortash’s quite the big guy,’ she mumbles pensively. ‘Owns a big company that owns lots of brands itself. Apparently, he’s known for gentrifying the shit out of many neighbourhoods in several cities already. He’s kicked out independent shops to establish a coffee chain and turning flats into offices.’

His eyes scan the same words and the more they read, the tighter the lump in his throat feels. Karlach hands him the mouse so he can peruse the article himself and open others. He checks several sources, and much to his dismay, the information they read in the first article seem to be confirmed through others.

‘I do not like how that sounds,’ he whispers.

‘Me neither, doc. But now that you told him off, he’ll lose interest, right?’

‘Mh. I doubt it. But now I wonder if he has shown interest in other places in Heawick. There is only one way to know.’

The assistant looks up quizzically as he sighs heavily and crosses his arms.

‘If anybody in Heawick knows anything, it is Melly.’

Taglist: @emmanuellececchi @reignydeys @cakenpiewhyohmy @beardedladyqueen

[blueiscoool]

The Hunt: El Dorado, Fabled City of Gold, Remains Hidden in the Amazon

Centuries have seen countless explorers brave hardships to find the fabled city.

An ancient city of gold somewhere in South America is rumored to have been so fabulously opulent that it has become an expression for any place where people can amass great fortunes. But it has been so elusive that it has become synonymous, like the Holy Grail, with a prized object long sought but never found. Countless men have given their lives in the search for its riches as they ran out of supplies and food, were felled by disease, or encountered violent resistance along the way.

The goal of numerous explorers over centuries, from crews with wooden ships and horses to teams with drones and radar, El Dorado is a lost city, reportedly stretching over great distances in the Amazon rainforest and hidden from prying eyes by its remoteness and the warlike peoples in the forest around it. (The region got its name, in fact, from Spanish explorer Francisco Orellana, who compared the fighting women he encountered during his own search with the Amazons of ancient Greece.)

Tales of El Dorado, its name Spanish for “the golden,” began with the Muisca peoples’ perhaps-mythical account of a tribal chief who, in an initiation rite, coated himself in gold. He then went onto Lake Guatavita, near present-day Bogotá, threw a pile of gold objects into the water, and washed the gold off himself as his attendants also threw an abundance of gold objects into the lake. The 16th-century Spanish referred to him as the Golden Man or the Golden King.

“This is the ceremony that became the famous El Dorado, which has taken so many lives and fortunes,” according to a 1638 letter from writer Juan Rodríguez Freyle. That pile of loot was soon fused in the lore with an account of an entire city made of gold. Others posited that the city was called Manoa and was situated on the shores of a legendary Lake Parima, which has also never been found.

Supposedly one of the first to claim he visited it was the Spanish explorer Juan Martinez, who reported that the locals had brought him there blindfolded in 1531 and allowed him to witness it, and that he traveled an entire day through its streets before reaching the emperor’s palace.

When Francisco Pizarro conquered the gold-rich Inca civilization in Peru in 1532, Spaniards believed all the more firmly in the fabled El Dorado. Francisco de Orellana, a relative of Pizarro, unwittingly traveled the entire length of the Amazon, the world’s longest river, in his search for it.

Some gold did turn up in a lake, seeming to justify the continued search. After he found Guatavita, a sacred lake in the Andes, in 1537, conquistador Gonzalo Jiménez de Quesada partly emptied it using a bucket chain. From its depths emerged a few thousand pesos of gold.

Bogotá entrepreneur Antonio de Sepúlveda, for his part, cut an enormous notch in the bank of the lake in 1580, removing a great deal of water before the notch collapsed and killed many of the workers. For his trouble, he uncovered three times as much gold as Quesada had, and sent it to King Philip II of Spain. Alexander von Humboldt, the 19th-century German explorer, would calculate that there could be as much as $300 million in gold in the lake.

English explorer Sir Walter Raleigh went looking for El Dorado in 1594, followed by the Spanish conquistadores, who scoured modern-day Colombia, Venezuela, Guyana and Brazil in the search. Less well-known expeditions continued over the 17th and 18th centuries, bodies piling up but ultimately turning up nothing.

In findings from a major scientific investigation, Von Humboldt would claim, ca. 1800, to have disproven the existence of the lake El Dorado is meant to have flanked. In the following decades, two other researchers came to the same conclusion.

But the legend did not die. The search was revived a century later, when an English company drained the lake almost entirely. Despite their efforts, they extracted artifacts worth only about £500, some of which went to the British Museum, some of which sold at Sotheby’s London. In 1965, the Colombian government designated the lake as off-limits to further attempts.

The quest continues with the help of modern technology. A team led by Venezuelan archaeologist-explorer Jose Miguel Perez-Gomez went looking, employing aerial and satellite remote sensing surveys obtained from NASA’s Shuttle Radar Topography Missions (SRTM), the Landsat Enhanced Thematic Mapper Plus (ETM+) instrument, and TanDEM-X synthetic aperture radar (SAR) sensors from the German Aeropsace Center’s Microwave and Radar Institute, according to a 2019 paper. Of all the unlikely results, their findings strongly resembled the outlines of a lake in a map drawn by none other than Sir Walter Raleigh.

The area is not without rich natural resources, so dreams of a city of gold can perhaps be forgiven. Illegal extraction operations are underway to this day, in fact, in what the Venezuelan government in 2016 designated the Orinoco Mining Arc, which covers 12 percent of the country’s territory and is rich not only in gold but also bauxite, coltan, and diamonds, possibly totaling some $2 trillion in value. You can literally see the modern gold mining from space: in 2021, an astronaut passing over eastern Peru in the International Space Station used a Nikon camera to snap a photo that reveals numerous gold prospecting pits.

Over the years, El Dorado has shown up in popular culture countless times, from a 1989 Neil Young record to video games, a board game, and the Cadillac Eldorado. So even as the city has remained stubbornly hidden over centuries, it is, in its way, all around us.

By Brian Boucher.

[balkanradfem]

I had a fun experience at the second-hand market last week!

Our second hand market is a congregation of vendors on an empty parking lot, it happens on a specific day of the week. About 40-60 vendors put all of their goods on big pieces of tarp, and then customers can walk around, pick what they like and ask for prices. There's old tools, cutlery, tons of clothing, baskets, pottery, books, electronics, shoes, instruments, anything you could imagine. Haggling is expected and encouraged.

I will sometimes seek a specific object on this market for weeks or even months, until someone has it in their inventory, and is willing to sell it for a normal price. For example, it took me about 5 months to find a good walnut opener, but in the end I got one for a single euro, and it's perfect. This time, I was looking for an awl, and a computer mouse.

Awl is a shoe-making tool, and I've been looking for one for months. I've seen several instructive videos on shoe making, specifically shoe making in the old days without modern technology, and I've wanted to make my own shoes so badly, and also mend the shoes that have fallen apart. I've managed to fix one pair of summer shoes after watching just two videos; it made me dream about how far I could go if I had an awl. Awl is a sharp needle, thicker than regular sewing needles, with a holder; it's used to punch trough leather so you could sew it. This tool is very old, and I've been hoping that someone on the second-hand market might still have one. But week after week, no luck. I've been asking people who had lots of tools on display, if they had an awl, or even knew what it was, and they all knew of it, but didn't have one.

This time, I was more focused on getting a computer mouse; my wrists and the back of my palms have started hurting very badly from overuse of a laptop touchpad, and it felt very much like the beginning of a carpal tunnel syndrome. I figured this pain might get better if I tried using a mouse instead! But mouses felt expensive to me (person who doesn't buy anything), so I wanted one that was cheap and used. But how would I know if it actually worked, if I got it on the second-hand market? I could potentially buy something worthless and only know it once I get home. So I hatched up a plan.

I would bring my laptop, in a bag, on sleep mode so I could have it running in a second. When I find a mouse, I'd ask the vendor the price first (if I chat about it for a while, they might increase the price), and after knowing the price, whether it works. At this point, if the price is 2 euros or less, I would ask if I could 'try it out', and if they said yes, I'd open up my laptop and plug the mouse in. If it works, I have a functional mouse to bring home, for an acceptable price. With this plan, and my laptop in a bag, I approached the market.

I was going around looking for a mouse, but still eyed the displays of old tools. I located 2 vendors selling mice, no awl anywhere. Still as I was passing one vendor, who was selling tools like pliers, screwdrivers, hammers, and so on, he greeted and asked if I needed help. So I looked at him and asked 'Do you have an awl?'. He said no. I thanked him and turned away. 'Wait', he said. 'I actually might have one.' His display did not have one, so I looked at him with confusion.

The guy walked over to his car, from which he procured a bucket filled with tools. He started pulling stuff out of the bucket, throwing it on the parking lot, and this lasted for a hot minute, until finally, from the bottom of the bucket, he procured ... I think the worst awl that ever lived in the world. He handed it to me, and I was mesmerized, that was the first awl I've seen in real life! But it was covered in gross-looking layered dried paint, dull, not correctly centered in the holder, and a bit ajar. I frowned and mentioned how it needs to be cleaned, and sharpened, to which he explained that he used it for opening buckets of paint. I was horrified. Crime in my eyes. But still, a real life awl! He said I could sharpen it with some sandpaper. I asked how much he was asking for it. 3 euro, he said. I offered him one. He accepted.

Then, to my biggest shock, he pulled out a crochet needle from the bucket! I am not joking, I was tempted to hell and back to buy that needle, I don't have one, and it was beautiful and perfect, but it was also, the tiniest crochet needle existing. Imagine a normal sewing needle, with a hooked ending, it was that small! It was size zero. I knew I wouldn't try to crochet with yarn that tiny, so I restrained myself, explained that even though I need one, this one is far too tiny for me. I'm still thinking about that crochet needle though.

Extremely happy to finally get my hands on an awl, no matter in what kind of shape it was, I went on to try my luck with the mouse vendors. I first went to one I knew was extremely cheap, and his pile of electronics was horrifying, just 30 different cables all tangled together, but I spotted a few mouse-shaped objects underneath. I crouched and untangled a mouse that was dusty, but had a nice cable, and maybe worked. I asked the price; it was 1 euro. Then I asked if it works, the answer was 'I don't know'. I asked if I could try it, and he was happy to let me try. I opened up my laptop, and the mouse moved, but in a weird, distorted way. It was throwing a tantrum on my desktop. The guy still wanted to sell it to me and attempted to convince me that there's a setting in windows that corrects this behaviour, but I thanked him and moved on. He kept talking at me as I was leaving, saying 'I have 20 mice at home!'. I didn't reply.

I crouched at the next cable infested pile, and pulled out a mouse that looked way better. I asked the vendor for a price – it was 1 euro for this one too. I asked whether it worked, and the vendor promised it did. When I asked if I could test it, he was confused, told me to just return it if it didn't work. I explained I could test it in a second, and it would be a big hassle to come back just because of this. Then he realized I had a laptop with me, and watched me plug it in. This one was perfect. Smooth and responsive. I had my mouse.

I paid 1 euro for it, and went on my merry way! It felt incredible to get both of my desired items on one visit, that kind of thing never happened before, and the mouse was even cheaper than expected. My hand does hurt less with the use of a mouse, and I haven't tried my hand at restoring the awl yet, but it's on my mind all the time, I'm going to make my own shoes and I have the means to do it.

Here are my two objects, isn't it funny that I had to haggle to get the awl at a low price, but the mouse was just immediately that cheap? I'm trying to figure out if it's just the market's economics at play, or maybe the awl just is more valuable. If it works well, it will last me for a lifetime, while the mouse is likely to work for a few years and then call it a day.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

i really liked the halloween costumes i gave them that one time hehe

[wiredaughter]

@augustwritingchallenge 7: farm/ranch

♧♧♧

705 words ☆ adam milligan×michael ☆ michael possessing adam ☆ romantic friendship ☆ post lucifer's cage ☆ flower farm ☆ ao3

Cry Violet

Not even Adam can explain what made him ask Michael for this. Rural as the town he’d grown up in had been, his farming experience limits to the Farm Mechanics badge he’d earned as a boy scout, and all that seems eerily distant now. And yet he’s got the urge to learn, to grow something, to leave the cage behind. It’s the right decision, Michael’s told him as much, although how much stock can you put in the words of an inexperienced archangel residing inside your head is yet to be seen.

It’s been an adaptation curve; being alive, being back on earth, having a powerhouse of divine energy thrumming inside him. Adam’s explained to the best of his ability the merits of actual, human work, and so Michael restrains from revamping their farmhouse through the sheer will of heaven. Michael’s explained extensively he cares for Adam’s wellbeing, so he doesn’t object to the ease with which they undertake the renovations. The end result is punitive from an archangel’s point of view and cheating from a human’s.

It’s the way one bucket of paint covers the entirety of their fence, but Adam still gets to paint it by hand. Or how they never run out of nails, tacks, tools; even if they never go back to the hardware store after their initial visit. And the wildflowers that bloom on their wake, as they survey and plot the land. That’s a bit much, probably, and Adam would object if he wasn’t charmed by the gesture.

Michael zaps them to town when time comes to buy seeds. A flower farm, they’ve decided, and so they arrange for staple bulbs and seedlings to be delivered next morning. Unaware of their actual capabilities, the clerk advises Adam to start smaller, as a seemingly lone hobby farmer. Adam thanks him with a smile, but assures him he’ll manage.

Back in their farm, Michael makes a point of stopping on their trail and turning to show a bloom growing up from the ground, past the bluebells that have nipped at their feet for the last few days. A glossy stem and petals that burst out in light violet.

‘Michael…’

‘That’s a cry violet, and cheating is the only way to grow it, since it became extinct around seventy years ago. Consider it a harbinger of fortune.’

‘Thank you, then, for harbinging fortune.’ It should be silly to have this heat rising on his chest when looking at his own face, but it’s the knowledge of Michael behind it that throws him off, even after all this time. ‘Can I pot it?’

Michael looks at him in a way that says he can do anything he wants, forever. True as that is, for he’s both sure the archangel wouldn’t deny him anything and unable to think of an entity that holds more power over the fabric of reality, the thought is still dizzying. So he keeps it simple, and goes to fetch a pot.

They start early next morning, after the wholesaler drops the bulbs off and compliments the work Adam’s done with the property. She also tells him about the farmers market ran in town, in case he’s interested in registering for a stall. As she drives away, Adam toys with the idea of buying a pickup truck as Michael examines the prepackaged bulbs with interest. Of course he knows varieties of no longer extant plants, of course he’s unfamiliar with modern gardening.

‘I couldn’t have got this far without you.’

Michael looks up to him, confused. ‘You could. It would have just taken a lot more time and effort.’

‘Alright. Thank you for saving me that, and for letting me still work on it.’

‘I like watching you work.’

Adam’s sheepish at that, but figures it works out for the angel as he hides it by starting on the first row of snapdragons. And as he gets on with the rest of them, he’s overly conscious of Michael’s gaze. That’s nothing new, he’s the angel’s vessel and he bears his likeness. It’s only logical his eyes trail him. What he hadn’t considered is the pleasure Michael takes from his observation. More than peeved, he feels satisfied in a way at the knowledge.

[softpawsxd]

My Hyperfixations since 2023:

13: Elinor Wonders Why

This one is the most underrated PBS Kids shows in my opinion, And i really adore Ari Bat who's my comfort character now!

12: Littlest Pet Shop

This fandom was such a cutesy childhood show based on the toyline of the same name, And my new comfort character from the fandom is ButterCream Sundae!

11: BreadWinners

Although many people hates its extreme grossness and stuff, I found this show funny nowadays, And i love SwaySway so much that he's becoming one of my comfort characters!

10: Pucca

One of my childhood fandoms in South Korean history, And my main comfort ship is Pucca and Garu but in my AU they're such Toric cuties!

9: The Epic Tales Of Captain Underpants

This Netflix show that's based on the comic/novels by Dav Pilkey is very awesome and underrated in my opinion, And i love Mr. Krupp, Captain Underpants, George and Harold very much!

8: Modern Objects (AKA One of my fav object shows along with Inanimate Insanity, Object Havoc and Object Invasion)

This object show's my number 1 favorite fandom that ever existed in the whole OSC, And my comfort character from this fandom is Bucket!

7: Xavier Riddle And The Secret Museum

This is my number 1 favorite PBS Kids show of all time and it really reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes and Peanuts, Also Brad Meltzer is my bab... I mean favorite character from the fandom!

6: Friday Night Funkin'

Although this fandom is really toxic as hell, I really adore the art style, Musical gameplays and the character deisgns and that's why i love making Friday Night Funkin' OC's!

5: Disney Plus' Diary Of A Wimpy Kid

This Disney animated movie fandom is really cool, And i even loved the animated adaptation of "Rodrick Rules" most of all!

4: The Paul Rudish era of Mickey Mouse (AKA The Wonderful World Of Mickey Mouse)

It's extremely underrated for me and its art style is so hilarious, And that's why Disney Plus is so nice!

3: Monica'S Gang

This one is one of my most favorite fandom in Brazilian history, And i love Jimmy Five a lot that he's becoming my comfort character!

2: The Emoji Movie (Sorry about The Emoji Movie haters...)

I know it's very unfunny and cringy but trust me, I do really enjoy it and JailBreak is now one of my fictional crushes.

1: TheOdd1sOut's OddBalls

This one is my number 1 fandom that ever existed on Netflix because it's based on the famous YouTuber known as James "TheOdd1sOut" Rallison, And i even made AU/LGBTQ+ headcanons (Even though TheOdd1sOut himself does NOT support the LGBTQ+ community yet, But still! X3) since i love this show so much!

[objuct]

my patreon suggestion thread

Since I'm gonna closeout my patreon, I wanted to take my suggestions thread and make it public for other CC creators to look over and consider for stuff to make! Some of this stuff has already been made by now but it would definitely be cool to see the rest. (i'm copy pasting each of these comments, thus weird wording possibly and repetition)

there's a lot of good ideas here and i'd hate for them to just be thanos snapped out of existence

I would be happy about proper gaiters or different types of bridles. the same about ultra long manes.

Dressage poses would be lovely!

Idk if that's possible, but maybe try to override the barrels with orange cones to make it a little less western?

Riding boots and spurs! Bridles, boots/bandages for horses, breastplates

Saddle-shaped numnahs (and just more numnahs in general)

Bridle racks with/without bridles

Halters (hung up, as acessories, different colours, with/without wool covers etc etc)

Saddle wall racks

Equine first aid box?

Feed and water buckets (large and small - the flexible tub ones that are mostly used nowadays)

Black feed bins

Wall salt licks

Filled hay nets (floor and wall option)

Turnout rugs and stable rugs, but hung up (I've currently just upsized the dressing gowns lol)

High-vis accessories

Hung-up high vis sim jackets?

Sim ankle riding boots

Feed supplement tubs (turmeric, garlic, etc) as decor and in simlish

I think barn clutter would be great, we got like three barn clutter items in the pack haha. I'm hoping to see other mane and tail styles and more CAS items showing up soon too!

Could you make an Australian Stock Saddle

maybe more saddle textures, and hitching posts

rugs/turnout blankets

helmet that doesn't remove hair

different style jumps

decor objects for goats like the platforms they would play on irl and low watering troughs. They gave us nothing for them :/

English riding clothes for show and practice

better polo wraps and sport boots

salt lick in a feed tub on the ground for out in the pasture

different functional horse ball toys

saddle and pad racks for the wall of a few different saddle styles

more standing saddle racks of different saddle styles

bridle rack

functional hay and water troughs in more modern styles

stacks of buckets

manure pile

items you'd find in a wash stall

more styles for mane and tail (a proper running braid for show would be nice)

more horse-obsessed BB and CAS for toddlers and children

Hairstyles, new English saddles (nice dressage and jumping saddles), saddle pads, track points, a slider to adjust the size of the horse would be cool too

random coat colors for foals and not looking exactly like their parents. I have no idea how you would fix this but it is my biggest annoyance in this game!

dressage saddles! new saddle pads!

realistic manes or turnout stuff

I love everything Western! I would love a few free-hanging western saddles/ bridles and also a saddle pad rack with only western pads! Maybe a few sponges/flyspray/shampoo bottles.

Perhaps leg wraps and english saddle pads that are matching? Like Lemieux and the sorts. Hanging horse blankets / horse racks that hold blankets. Vet objects, like syringes, creams, vetwraps and little objects for a first aid kit :)

please make a stable rug/ turn out rug/ riding rug :D

I though of something while i was sitting here building a jumping course. A little pile with poles neatly put together to place outside the arena on the ground for some esthetic purposes

I would love another short tail! :)

Ah and maybe those silly little horse mustaches lolol? :,D

Girth holders on walls, hanging rugs, bridle holders. Saddle soap / spray, conditioner :)

Maybe a halter for foals?

i know ive said this before but bridle hangers and saddle holders & maybe maxis match hay stacks so we don't have to pile it up ourselves with the debug hay bale and maybe more different swatches for the hay rug from the ranch pack? bc thats only 2 in 2 different colors

Stall doors please!

Western / Red Dead Redemption inspired tack and saddles

bell boots would be amazing!, and barn clutter, like helmets, gloves, english tall riding boots.

I'd love to see some foal accseries if you could figure that out, other then that rop halters are sorely lacking

I'd love to see a breastplate for the saddle and a double reined bridle

[adarkrainbow]

Perrault: What a joker!

@literatureismyentirepersonality  asked me about the humor and jokes in Perrault fairytales - because yes, there were lots of jokes in Perrault’s tales! So I put together this little post listing some of the main bits of humor in Perrault’s fairytales.​

LITTLE THUMBLING:

# When Perrault says that the woodcutters had seven children, he says “One can be surprised that the woodcutter had so many children in so little time [reminder: the children are said to be ten for the oldest, seven for the youngest], but that’s because his wife always worked really fast.” 

# When the woodcutter’s wife cries and complains after they abandonned their children, her husband threatens to beat her up. “But it wasn’t because he wasn’t less upset than his wife [about leaving his children in the woods], he was just as upset as her - but she was giving him a headache [with all her wails] and he was of the disposition of many men, who love a lot women that speak good and true, but find annoying those that said good and true”. (Now the translation I made is a bit shoddy but the idea is that the woodcutter is of those men who praise, love and adore women that say truthful and reasonable thing... EXCEPT if they said it before and basically go “I told you so”, and THEN they find this annoying instead than lovely]

# When the ogre’s wife warns the boys that they should flee since it is the house of an ogre, Poucet goes into a very polite answer about why she should still let them in. “Hey! Madam, what should we do? If you don’t let us inside, the wolves of the forest will certainly eat us tonight. And since we are to be eaten anyway, we much prefer that Mister the Ogre would be the one to eat us ; and maybe he would have some pity, if you were as kind as to ask him to spare us.” (For the context, these are terrified, shaking, muddy, rain-covered, hungry woodcutters boys lost in the woods, and suddenly Poucet goes into this very polite talk about how he would prefer that “Sir Ogre” eats them, because that would be better. The original French sentence really conveys the humor “Nous aimons mieux que ce soit Monsieur qui nous mange”, “We much prefer/we love better, that it is Mister that eats us.”

# As I said in my ogre post, the Little Thumbling ogre loves doing jokes. When the ogre’s wife begs him to spare the boys for tomorrow, the ogre objects that they would be more “mortifié”. Now, in modern French language, just like back then, “mortifié” meant “horrified, terrified” - so the ogre says “Better kill them now, as they’re completely terrified, won’t have time to relax” ; but “mortifié” also means “a meat that is softened” - so basically he also says “better kill them now, their meat will be softer for tomorrow”. Another wordplay comes later, when (after he thinks he killed the boys) he sends his wife upstairs and asks her to “dress the boys up”. The wife is noted to be surprised as such a random kindness - but “to dress up” doesn’t just mean putting clothes onto people, it also means “to dress up the meat” that is to say to cook it and prepare it. And that’s what the ogre meant. 

# After the ogre’s wife faint upon seeing her dead daughters, the ogre’s way to wake her up is to throw a bucket of water at her face. 

# The fact that the seven-league boots cause the user to become very tired and weary (leading to the ogre’s nap) is actually presented as a joke. You see there is this grand and fabulous description of the terrifying ogre jumping over mountains and rivers... and then he suddenly takes a nap “Because you understand, such boots makes your man tired!”. 

# In the “alternate ending”, Little Thumbling is said to have gained his fortune by becoming a messenger at the court, using the magical boots to deliver letters from and to nobles. But Perrault throws a strong critic at the courtly habits by specifying that the Poucet’s best customers/those that paid the most were women who sent letters to their extra-marital lovers, while he discovered that messages sent between legal husband and wife were paid very little, to the point Poucet actually decided to stop doing this kind of transmissions. 

# In fact the very existence of this alternate ending comes as a bit of a joke, because Perrault first gives the “popualr” and “well-known” ending - where Poucet steals the riches of the ogre by lying to his wife ; but then the narrator/Perrault himself says “But there are people that disagree with this story, and pretend that Petit Poucet never did such a theft  in truth they said that he only stole the seven-league boots so the ogre couldn’t hunt down little children. And these people claim they know it from a very good source, because they had a meal at the woodcutter’s house!”

# And to return a bit earlier, the reason the ogre’s wife gives Poucet all the ogre’s riches (when he is supposedly under death sentence) is because she loves him a lot... And it is said as “Because he was a good husband... even though, you know, he ate little children.” 

CINDERELLA:

# To mock the vanity of Cinderella’s stepsisters, Perrault mentions that they spent nearly two whole days without eating before the ball, and that twelve laces were broken in their attempts at corseting their waist to a ridiculously tiny size.

# Once all of the fairy godmother’s animal-transformations are done, with the carriage conjured and the horses and the servants, she says quite happy with herself “Well now you can go to the ball!”. And Cinderella has to point out to her that she is actually still in rags and can’t actually go in such a dirty, ashes-covered appearance.

# Talking about the animal transformations, after turning the mice into horses, the fairy godmother actually wonders what kind of animal she could use for the coachman - and it is Cinderella who suddenly has the idea for the perfect coachman animal. “Let’s take a rat!”. And when they have to select a rat, the fairy godmother picks one with a long, “honorable” beard - to make a decent coachman which, of course, needs to have an enormous mustache (as all coachmen at the time had). 

# When Cinderella enters and everybody stops, Perrault write the line: “Even the king, as very old as he was, only had eyes for her, and told the queen he hadn’t seen such a beautiful and charming lady in a very long time”. So yeah, in short, lustful old king unknowingly insults his wife. This is directly follow by another sentence that precises how all the ladies at the ball actually only have eyes for Cinderella... because they mentally make notes of preparing the exact same outfit and hairdo for the following day (a jab at the way people copy each other’s fashion at the court). 

# When Cinderella is at the ball, and the prince offers her some oranges, she immediately goes to her step-sisters, to share them with her and have a nice chat with her. The problem is that her step-sisters do not recognize her, and so they are VERY confused as to why this random superb lady suddenly acts as if they were besties that known each other since forever... Mind you, afterward, the sisters simply consider that it is because she is a very kind, polite and wonderful woman - but on the spot they are noted to be very surprised by this mysterious lady’s behavior. 

# The two Moralities of the tale are also very tongue-in-cheek. The first one explains that basically, even though beauty is a great virtue and gift, the real thing that gives one power and allows “everything to happen” is actually the way one presents themselves - when you look good, when you present yourself well, then everything is open to you. Perrault even goes as far as to basically say that the real power of the fairies, is the one to give someone a makeover. As for the second Morality, it clearly says “Even if you are intelligent, even if you are brave, even if you are clever, even if you are talented - even with all that, you won’t be able to go far in life, unless you have a godfather or a godmather who will be here to highlight these qualities”. It is basically Perrault’s way of saying “Even if you’re the best, you still need connections to make it into the world”. 

TOADS AND DIAMONDS

# The narration precises that the only (and first time) the wicked mother calls her good daughter “daughter” is when she sees her spitting roses, pearls and diamonds. 

# The prince that marries the good daughter has... quite unclear intentions. For you see, when he decides to marry her, the narration points out that he thinks the “gift” of the girl is worth much more than what “any other girl could give through marriage” - and this comment follows right away the part where he brutally falls in love with her, right after she told him all of her adventures. So Perrault clearly suggests the “love” of the prince might be motivated by greed...

# The death of the wicked daughter has a bit of irony in it - because she is said to die all alone in the forest... “at the corner of a wood”. That’s literaly what’s writte, she dies “in the corner of the wood”. 

# The Moralities are also very tongue in cheek. For example the second Morality claims “Honesty is a hard-working thing, and you must be a bit complacent/flattering in it, but for that you will be rewarded”. Basically, he says that a bit of flattery will always get you everywhere - highlighting how the girls actually got their curse and reward from the fairy based solely on how they talked to her. The good daughter was only rewarded because she was polite with the fairy, not because she was good herself ; and the wicked daughter was only punished because she was rude to the fairy. [The implications of this superficial behavior were actually explored in a famous French parody of this tale “The fairy of the water-tap”, by Gripari, in which a fairy blesses a wicked girl because she was polite out of flattery towards her, and curses a good girl because she was rude to her.

PUSS IN BOOTS

# Since the third miller’s son only has a cat as an inheritance, he plans on eating the beast and making some muffs out of his fur. But this a wordplay - because in old French, to spend the money one inherited was said “to eat one’s inheritance”. And this is exactly what the son is planning to do. 

# When the ogre turns into a lion, the cat is scared and flees on the roof, like a real cat would - but the narration points out that, because he is wearing boots, he actually has a hard time doing so. This is Perrault’s way to self-reference the bizarre and weird detail of the boots for a cat.

# When the king is welcomed in the ogre’s castle and takes part in the feast, he is actually strongly implied to get drunk, as he gulps down “five or six” cups of alcohol before suddenly telling the Marquis that he wants him to be his son-in-law, and immediately having him married to his daughter. 

# Once more, the double Moralities are just jokes and irony. The first says that inheritance and birth-earned status is nothing compared to the power of talent, knowledge, industrious behavior and hard-work... But the story is literally about a conman of a cat who keeps tricking, lying and stealing from other people, and a passive hero who just blindly follows his cat’s orders and happens to look good enough to seduce a woman. Hardly anything “industrious” in all that. Similarly, the second Morality clearly spells out that “If a miller’s son can gain so fast the heart of a princess, it really means that clothes, appearance and youth have true powers” (It is basically Perrault’s way of saying that despite all the so-called stories about innate nobility and the sacredness of royal blood and all that, in fact if you are just young, good-looking and well-dressed you can get to the top even if you don’t have any “noble” essence in you.) (Which is again told as a joke, or rather as an humoristic tone. Don’t read that seriously.)

BLUEBEARD

# To show that the wife gets accustomed to her new life of “dances, promenades, feasts, hunting parties, fishing parties, snacks and games” Perrault has this wonderful line “She started to think that the master of the house didn’t have the beard as blue as he had before”. 

# When listing his belongings, Bluebeard has this funny little mentions “And this key is for the plates and cutlery of gold and silver - that we don’t use on an everyday basis.”

# Bluebeard is maybe a brutal and heartless killer... But after he lets his wife gets some last prayers in her bedroom, on the top floor, he is polite enough to wait for her on the lower floor, repeatedly asking her to finish and get down so he can kill her - in fact this is how she postpone things, he somehow refuses to go up and insists she goes down so he can slaughter her. He might be a murderer - but he is a polite murderer that won’t barge in a lady’s chambers.

# I talked about it previously, but the Moralities are also joking ones. The first Morality says “Curiosity is a thing that only costs regrets and that leads to a too-high price to pay”, when the story literaly shows that, while placing the woman in a dangerous situation, the wife’s curiosity led her to become rich and well-married, her sister to marry the guy she loved, and her brothers to gain new titles at a higher rank... I also told before that the second Morality literaly goes “Ah, we see it is a story of the ancient days, because nowadays it is women that are tyrannical masters” - a pure parody of basically the old guy ranting “Back in my days...”

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

# The very dialogue “Grandma, what long arms you have / what big eyes you have / what big ears you have” can be entirely read as a joke one. I mean... you have this frankly naive (if not stupid) girl who keeps commenting on how everything is abnormaly big in her grandma’s appearance, listing all traits she should be scared of... And it doesn’t click that maybe it isn’t her grandma. It is made even worse by the fact that when she first knocks, the wolf forgets to change his voice, and she is scared by his big, deep voice - but then tells herself “She must have a cold, must have given her a raspy voice”. And what’s even worse... You know the whole thing of “the wolf put on the Grandmother’s clothes”? That’s in Grimm. In Perrault the wolf doesn’t even bother dressing up as the grandma, he just slips in the bed and softens his voice. AND SOMEHOW THAT WORKS. Couple that with the fact the narration explicitely points out Little Red Riding Hood was a spoiled girl who wasn’t taught basic survival skills (like “Don’t talk to wolves”), and you get a kind of funny situation where a stupid girl gets a ridiculous death at the end of a wolf poor at imitations... 

SLEEPING BEAUTY

# The old woman with the spindle in the story? Not the wicked fairy in disguise, as later adaptations liked to interpret. She is literaly just an old woman, that somehow had never heard of the interdiction of spindles in all fifteen/sixteen years of the princess’ life, and that was just left alone in a remote corner of the castle, minding her own business while forgotten by everybody else. She doesn’t even seem to recognize the princess as such, since she doesn’t talk to her in a particularly respectful way - so this leads to some questions as to how long this woman lived isolated in this palace that somehow seems REALLY big for such a little old woman to be cut off from the rest of the world no problem.

# When the princess pricks her finger on the spindle, the narration says that it is because 1) she took the spindle with too much energy, because she was one of those too-lively girls 2) she was a bit clumsy of a girl and 3) “and anyway, the fairies had decided it would be so”. 

# There is a list of everything people try to do to wake up the princess, which goes from rubbing her face with powerful liquids and shaking her hands, to just throwing water into her face.

# Perrault, with no  doubt in a nod to the incestuous relationships of royals, specifically mentions that the prince that wakes up the princess a hundred year laters is NOT from the same family as the sleeping beauty. 

# The prince understands that the petrified people in the castle are just sleeping, not dead, because he notes the red-nose of the guards and the empty wine cups by their side, which shows that they’re still drunk. And as he climbs up the stairs, he also notes that other guards are loudly snoring. 

# After the beauty wakes up, she ends up talking with the prince for four hours straigth since she was prepared in her sleep to meet and love him, while he is just surprised and baffled at everything that is happening ; but meanwhile, as the rest of the castle wakes up, their first instinct is to immediately prepare cooking because “since they weren’t in love, they were quite hungry.” And, as the prince leads the princess to the feast, he prevents himself from commenting on the fact that the princess is dressed up just like his grandmother... Similarly, during the feast, he also tries to not say anything about how outdated the music and plays are. And when they spend the night together, the narration precises that they did not sleep - “because the princess didn’t need it”. No wonder. 

# The whole thing of the ogress-mother asking for her grandchildren to be killed and cook would be fully and horribly terrifying... if it wasn’t for her asking the “Robert sauce” as a mention, which does turn the whole thing into a more grotesque dark comedy. I mean, it is like when you say “I will kill you and eat your heart... with wasabi sauce!”. 

# When the prince returns home from war and finds his family lined up in the court, to be killed into a vat of snakes and toads, there is a very awkward moment as he just asks around “What the heck is going on?” and nobody dares to even answer him. So there’s just this very awkward silence as the prince tries to understand what he sees and everybody else is thinking “Oh shit...”. (Well except the old ogress queen, who is so enraged she basically kills herself on the spot). 

# And once more, the Morality has jokes in them. For example it says “It is natural to wait a bit to have a beautiful, sweet and wealthy husband. But to wait a hundred years while sleeping - now you don’t find girls like that anymore!” ; and in a second part it says “Usually it is best to wait when you are in love, so that the marriage may be sweeter ; but women are so energetic and put so much effort into loving people, that I don’t have the heart to preach them such a lesson”. I think the meaning is pretty clear... 

(There are more tales, but I think these sum up enough the humor of Perrault as a whole)