#Mostly putting some thoughts. Analysis. And being silly in general

[wiredalienvampire]

he's so itty bitty ^_^

[onesunofagun]

You know, I'm going to put a thought down because I'm thinking about this again because of the post earlier.

It might be a vent? I think it's more just me trying to describe a feeling so it's outside me and I can look at it.

I've seen a lotta discourse and a lot of theories and different takes out there. There's always gonna be some stuff that's frustrating because it's something Sus being widely normalised, but generally speaking, I think the varied perspective and ideas are always good thing in a fandom.

I've seen all sorts of ideas be explored-- in fics, in doujins and art, in roleplay, in lore essays-- over the years. I like to think I have a pretty good map on the fandoms I've been online and present in since the early 00s. I can usually remember context about how certain stuff came about, like what tropes or ideas got popular when and how, whether through shipping or fanon or mangas or general knowledge about the development process.

When you've been in a fandom a long time-- especially if you have made a lot of contributions to it, at any point-- sometimes you even have a part in shaping certain idea flows within it, yourself.

So I have had the chance to see and contribute to a lot of conversations that have happened over and over and over again, in a kind of generational way. I have seen certain discussions from old forums, translate to fics. I've seen them pop up on tumblr, then tumble to Reddit, then YouTube. I have watched the spread through the general sphere of things, get added to and turned over and re-examined.

For the record: I love watching that process, and I like being part of that process! Mentally tracking the grandfathered in fandom history has also become its own kinda hobby for me.

I've always found it interesting mapping where new fans come in, seeing how they orient themselves and what they pick up-- how and why and what they do with it, whether I appreciate it or not (I highlight biases that are related to harmful ideas when I see them to illuminate them).

Seeing certain concepts be repeatedly rediscovered and watching how certain waves of fans digest them is fascinating. Sometimes with surprising results, sometimes with disappointing results, but it's fascinating either way. That's kind of part of the appeal having been here so long and why I came back into (mild) activity-- I get to study and dissect the fandom behaviours as well.

But despite all of that, I've found I don't really appreciate a good number of the popular YouTubers who focus on Zelda as their channel topic.

I think I've developed a bit of a distaste for a few of them in particular, actually--the big number Zeldatuber channels. Mostly the ones that seem to be the theorycrafters that kinda followed on from a MatPat style format. All of my love to well researched videos analysing the themes and meta, and all the silly boundary breaks and speedruns, mind. But I found I got really disillusioned with the handful of channels that rose to prominence and how their content shifted with that growth.

With the potential to monetise their discussions and discords worth of people and patrons driving this kinda content, I do think a lot about things that have been discussed in the fandom in the past that get taken up and regurgitated as part of that grind. I have lost track of how many videos that have come out of a few big Zeldatubers of this vein gave me a really weird slimy feeling and I am trying to work out what it is.

I'm not super invested in watching much of Zeldatube at large, mostly because I've seen most popular subjects covered in many variations. I'm a lot more personally interested in analysis, rather than theorycraft, so take it with a grain of salt that I may have a bias too (The popular Zonai fixation really doesn't interest me at all, and Zeldatube burnt out on that hard).

A lot of the channels like this seem to present their stuff like it is brand new and never been seen before, and like it's a great achievement in sleuthing or that they've cracked a code-- but not in a fun feeling way. Not in an exciting personal discovery way, but in a way that feels like it's propping up an exclusivity around that channel, and its validity as a leading authority on Zeldadom. There's something vaguely newsfeed-like, or sensationalist about it to me, with tight knit associations to other big channels making the same type of content (and about the same types of subjects as far as I ever noticed, and widely overlapping perspectives).

I wonder if that's a cynical feeling that I have where I'm just being an old man yelling at clouds, but there's really something that rubs me wrong about the handful of top channels like this. Something about the way they generate and present, and potentially profit from, often long running fandom concepts and otherwise freely shared ideas that have had many contributions feels off.

Maybe it's also me struggling to understand the closed off nature of how a lot of people just absorb the series secondhand now, and how normal it is to have the most popular Zeldatube channels setting the tones and assumptions around lore for large swatches of the newer fans. And not because old guard gatekeeping, but because there's an obvious chasm there between new and old fans of the same media that now exists that's seemingly getting wider.

I do sometimes worry about the trend of recycled old fanon staples presented as brand new takes, because of that-- or worse, sold as the definitive take, especially when a lot of people do just accept them and then go off and start arguments because 'big Zeldatube said so' and they must know best.

Sometimes I wonder if the trend is actually adding to issues with consumption vs engagement, in terms of media literacy and fandom interaction. There's certainly some theories, because of these channels, widely taken as a kind of gospel from the 'zelda experts' like the discussion is already closed; mystery solved. I've legit seen smaller youtubers be accused of stealing or copying theories from the larger channels, when making detailed and well researched videos about canon lore. I have had multiple interactions with fans who just link to a popular video and be like 'here watch this, it'll explain it' like they can't even be bothered to have their own take, but they're also not interested in yours.

The way big Zeldatube presents itself and gets consumed at large, though, I guess I just don't recognise that as the same as seeing a new fan have a joyful discovery of something from their own interactions with the franchise and fandom. I realise that the channel runners are fans themselves, but I suppose I mean that the platform feels more like a degree of professional separation that's very closed. It's become 'Zelda is my job now' thing that's focused on interest trends and news.

Something something, decades of fandom interaction and discussion and archiving getting scraped and haphazardly slapped together again for the content grind because clout and profit??

That feels mean to say but--

"Like and subscribe and join my patreon for more content, often mined from various thoughts around the fandom to make up a new video to schedule" is how it often tastes to me and that's not a flavour I enjoy.

Again, by all means, not applicable to the whole of Zeldatube or many fans who do watch the big channels. But this kinda thing does feel like a pervasive and popular part of the theorycrafter channels. Commodification of theory, and exploitative platforms built off a community's back, leave a lot of the big Zeldatubers without my support or endearment. I feel incredibly conflicted about them.

Is that anything?

[im-not-a-l0ser]

The Michie Playlist

Happy Valenties Yall. You may have seen my post about making a Michie Playlist. This is my review of songs already on it, originating from @wildrottingworms michie playlist. Barring Granger Danger (because they told me to) and adding another song, because it fits with another.

Here's the playlist on youtube if you want to follow along, and here it is on Spotify.

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: This is, for me, just on there for the sake that it is literally the song they share. That is the only reason it's on here. Also why it's the first song on here.

Take Me Back: This, however, I have no idea why it's on here! Nevermind, secret relationship michie; I'm an idiot. Okay, yeah, I think I can see it. Especially with them having regrets about keeping it a secret. Like, I'm listening to Tom's verse right now and it's like "oh, Max,, maybe you should've just openly loved Richie back thennn." Becky's verse now, okay. I see it a little less. I like the idea of 'i remember something someone asked me back in school,' being Max saying something like "if we could, would you go to prom with me," because of the following line; I think that's cute. Weirdly enough, I think this'll stay.

First Date/Last Night: Yes, I love this for them. Very cute, very nice. Derek Klena's character for max; perfect.

Blast From the Past: So, uh. I skipped this at first. Because I did not like it. This is the last song of these I've listened to because I am/was putting it off. But here we go i guess. Okay, it's not that bad. It kind of reminds me of Will Wood. But it also makes me realise that the musical Zombie Prom isn't the same as the Wizards of Waverly Place Episode, it seems to be about a single zombie who goes to prom. Which I guess makes sense. I'm keeping it, but it's like. That's all I got from it mostly.

Stupid With Love: So I technically added it, because the reprise was on it, I think it's a little silly to have on here, because I don't think Cady is much like Richie, but I think I'm keeping it for purely after (s)he meets Aron. Like, I've literally put that quote where Cady is essentially fantasising about him in tags about Richie and Max; feels wrong to not include it.

Stupid With Love Reprise: So, listening to it makes me nervous because I haven't actually watched all o Mean Girls the Musical, but it's fine. We're gonna do it anyway. Oh, wait, there's a BMC animatic of this, I've seen this, I'm stupid. Okay. I see why the og put it on here. It is very cute, I love it. I don't know enough about factorials to know if that's actually what you're supposed to do with them, and if it's not then it's hilarious. If it is, then it's like... well, I guess PJ did a good job tutoring Max.

Be Nice To Me: I like this song generally speaking, I never thought of it for Max and Richie, but I'm kind of into it. Like, I might do song fics with some of the songs from this playlist, and this is definitely a high high contender.

Two Birds: Thanks og, you mother fucker. I'm sad now. Luckily, I've already thought of them during this song so I can just skip it.... unluckily, it's already started playing and I can't turn it off now. Thems the rules.

Sex with a Ghost: I don't know why this is on there. It's obviously more of a Jagertity song, but I'm still going to listen to it with their context to see if I can figure it out. Okay, listening. I don't get it. I'll probably keep it because it fucking slaps, but i do not understand why it's on a michie playlist. The only thing I could see is like. 'The only time I ever see her is when she's behind me in the mirror," Because Richie dies in the locker room. But I dunno.

Daft Pretty Boys: I've never heard this song before, so. Right off the bat though, I'm dissapointed that it's not gay. The title makes it sound so gay, but immediately with the she/her pronouns. Maybe I should pull up the Genius Analysis so I can understand better, because I'm just confused. Okay, after checking Genius, I think I understand. I will be keeping it.

Beachboy: Another song I've listened to before, I'm excited to listen to it under Michie context. Like, I could type the lyrics along if I wanted to, I love this song. Yes, this is amazing. Aside from the fact that it's, again, straight, it's absolutely great.

Bloom: We begin the ones where I'm going to have to look up the english translations to these songs. Which I'm fine with, I've listened to all the BSD character songs. It's actually pretty fun to follow along, which is why I'm linking english translations through te name titles, which is why some of the have underlines and others don't. Anyway. HEY SORRY TO BUT IN! APPARENTLY THIS WAS IN SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF! I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM! ANYWAY BACK TO IT! Okay, upon reading the lyrics, I will say, it makes perfect sense that it was written for Scott Pilgrim, also that I rememer hearing it and taking note of what it was called because I liked it. Basically, on a surface level, it's like 'id like you no matter how many times you change your hair' but I think beneath that, as an overthinker, it's about loving someone even as they're going through changes in their life.

Necromantic: As much as it hurts to face the reality, I am glad that there are some songs on here that represent a realistic relationship for them, and this is definitely one of them. I think I would do a poor job on describing it, just look up the lyrics, you'll see.

Sihouette: Okay, reading the lyrics was a little harder bc I'm listening at home, and my family just got back home from Astronomy Club, so just bare with me. I think it's good, I think we'll be keeping it; I like it I think.

Kuchizuke Diamond: Oh I immediately love the vibes of this. I like this song so much for them that I didn't follow along with the lyrics, I read ahead; I love this. It's so cute for them.

Kawaikute gomen: I'm back and forth whether this applies to them, but it's funny enough that I don't even care. Like Stupid With Love and such. I definitely feel it for them, I just can't explain why.

Zenzenzense: This reminds me of Sonic. Not a bad thing, just a thing. I definitely love this song. It's "Now that we've finally met at galaxies' end, i don't know how to hold your hand so that I don't break it" that got me.

Nandemonaiya: Okay yeah. This got me at Verse 1

Kick Back: Oh my, I'm like flustered reading this. Definitely keeping it for them. Works for whichever pov imo.

Death By Glamour: I do not know why this is here, but as an undertale fan, I'm lowkey here for tho.

Uwa!! So Temperate: Again, I don't know why this is here. But it's like 45 seconds, it's whatever.

Murder On The Dancefloor

You & I: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

Best Kept Secret: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

This is where the song diverges into songs I've added! To continue, go to the post explaining why I've added those songs! To skip those songs, go to the post about songs that were suggested!

[sitzfleischh]

So I just finished watching Gomens s1 + 2 for the first time ever yesterday lol I read the book years ago and loved it but never got around to the show. I just saw your post about the structure of s2 feeling weird, and is that the general consensus from fans? I've just dipped my toes into Fandom today, so I have no idea the popular thoughts and metas, so from my pov s2 worked super well, and I actually liked it waaaaay more than s1 but maybe that's bc I didn't have years of s1 to sit on and it's ALL fresh and new? Iunno I just found that really interesting lol

Good question! I certainly can't speak for the whole fandom but from what I've seen on here I think there was a mix of reactions ranging from the folks sending hate to Neil Gaiman because they couldn't deal emotionally with there being a sad cliffhanger, to folks who totally loved the season as-is, to some who thought that the writing was bad but actually it was bad on purpose as a long-con magic act plan that will all be revealed later, to some who enjoyed it overall but were either thrown off by how different it was from season one, or thought it had some issues in terms of pacing and quality of dialogue/etc.

I fall somewhere on the more positive end of that last camp, so my post about the structure feeling weird was partly a response to some of the more negative responses I had come across-- like there were posts I was seeing where folks were trying to insinuate that S2 was uniquely worse or different writing from season 1 and I was kind of like... No I think whatever writing/tonal issues good omens has have always existed and have more to do with the way that the silliness and satire of the novel translates differently on screen (but that's a whole 'nother post I should write sometime haha).

But also tbh I think it was mostly just me thinking through my own reaction to the series, which was somewhere along the lines of: I loved it and had a great time but it felt weird to me in a way that made me go "time to put on the ol' analysis goggles and figure out what's going on here."

I totally think that having the long wait between season 1 and 2 contributed to that feeling though, so you're right on the money there. I wasn't really part of the GO fandom in the years between season 1 and 2 but I imagine if I had been all of this would have been even more heightened because you're stewing for so long in fanon works and meta and expectations about how the story will go from here, so inevitably there's going to be some culture shock in returning to canon after so long. Also just the fact that for a long time after season one we didn't even know there was going to be any more! Which I think was the main factor influencing my experience of season 2, as someone who first read the book 11 years ago so I've spent over a decade thinking the character arcs and story beats of Good Omens had been completed, so while season 2 was very welcome and appreciated, I went into it kind of expecting it would also be a mostly complete self-contained story arc like season 1 was.

Anyway I kind of went off the rails a bit here LOL, analysing and critiquing shows is the way I express my love for them, and I love Good Omens so much and have for over a decade, which means all I wanna do all day is take it apart and look at the pieces to figure out how it works

Sorry for the very long and rambly response but thank you so much for the message, I hope I answered your question!! ♥️♥️

[bytedykes]

[ID: Four stickman memes. They are: a crying stickman laying on its back in a pool of tears, hands over its face. A stickman grabbing another's cheeks and screaming in their face. A stickman biting its own arm bloody. A red-eyed teary stickfigure grimacing and holding up a thumbs up. /end ID]

^ just finished twatf moodboard. my thoughts under the cut

genuinely so good. i am sick. i am wailing. i am going to throw up.

ok i lied it wasnt like, groundbreaking, but i did enjoy it! and it did give me new kinds of mental illness. im not typically into the "overpowered protagonist" trope at all but i feel like in this case it was more of a vehicle for the philosophy of the novel than the actual. point? im not a literature analysis person haha

i doubt i would have read this novel if it weren't by singshong. it is just generally not my thing. but im glad i did! i liked the character and i thought it was quite clever and funny, the world building was interesting (despite how overly complicated it is) and some parts made me so. oughhhbg. tearing my hair out

i also really enjoyed looking at this from a "how it compares to orv" standpoint (that's also the main reason i decided to read it). i liked seeing the "prototype" ideas in here that resemble parts of orv that were more developed/refined. and i liked the most specific messages that resembled orv's! there were a few bits regarding walls and connection that made me want to erm shrivel up and die

i guess i didn't really understand the ending but i don't think it was awful. those last 3 chapters are honestly what was worst to me, if i had stopped reading on chapter 244 i might have been happier with the openness of it. seeing all of jaehwan's friends dying and sirwen being left alone in the world was depressing as hell and didn't really feel necessary

orv is known for having everything in it and managing to pull off the most unhinged plots and details so i enjoyed seeing that same principle in twatf dsdjskks it threw a lot of things that i didnt expect at all and a lot of them were absurd but all together i think it made it work

goddd some parts just hit very close. maybe not the overall themes but some specific sections made me put my phone down and stare into space... the fall of time arc... the conversation jaehwan has with the long lived race after he's figured out the unclothing... what andersen tells him before she chooses to fight myad... many such cases

some of the criticisms for it that ive seen online are about the bad translation which is fair but i dont think that necessarily reflects the quality of the actual novel? idk the crappy translation and many typos did make it harder to read but i was still able to mostly understand what was happening and i got used to it pretty quickly. i do wish that the side characters were more developed, i was really interested in them and it felt like a lot of their development was dropped or forgotten, but i did love what growth was shown

i liked jaehwan!!! he is such a sopping wet silly guy. guy who is in the horrors forever. guy who is a billion years old but not actually but yes he is. guy who is so autism eyes incarnate. i liked him as a character and i liked following his journey even with his at times repetitive ideas and simple op solutions to everything. it was fun!

i enjoyed the characters in general, karlton grew on me for some reason lol... i liked anderson and runald a lot also... i liked how despite his identity as a lonely existence that works alone, jaehwan did actually forge so many bonds with people he met and did reciprocate them! him and yoonhwan, him hiring claire and meikal for govt positions when he became master of gorgon, him training with chunghuh, his care for runald and anderson, him verbally calling the fallbringers his friends when they reunite, even eventually his friendship with beastlain! i wasn't expecting him to make so many connections because of how set he is on doing everything alone, so i was really happy to see that he does consider them friends and isnt just coldly moving through the world alone, despite what his actions say

really liked the whole lore about [clothes]. i thought that was really cool. did not like the repeated instances of sexual harassment and pervy lines throughout the book

ive been telling people to read orv left and right, but in contrast twatf is a kind of novel that i dont think i would necessarily recommend to anyone (especially not to anyone who wasn't already an enjoyer of this genre and/or more "out there" plots in general) but i did enjoy reading it myself. however i would say that it provided some cool/valuable/fun insight into orv and singshong's writing in general so maybe i would recommend it to someone who has already read orv and wanted to expand on that

overall i did like it!!! i dont think ill be rereading it any time soon but i had fun reading and stewing over it :)

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Thoughts on Gideon the Ninth

This post isn’t an analysis or even truly a review. It’s more like a loose collection of thoroughly subjective opinions on random aspects of the book. It exists mostly to provide context on any other posts I make.

But it also exists because I can never get enough of reading about other people’s experiences with fiction I enjoy, so it felt right to contribute my own post in return. :)

My first exposure to this series was definitely through tumblr. I came in already familiar with the whole “lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space” description, and it felt like half the people I followed on this hellsite were into the series. (Since reading the books and being able to recognize the characters more, I’ve found that the true amount is closer to 3/4, heh.)

Other vague details about this series I’d absorbed through General Tumblr Osmosis: I knew the main protagonist was a badass lesbian with a Cool Sword (nice), I knew there was some kind of enemies-to-lovers-ish arc (awesome, my fave dynamic), I knew there was someone named Ianthe who had a skeleton arm and was the Worst (rad, couldn’t wait to meet her), and also something something homebrew lobotomy in the second book(what???)? It all added up to quite the intriguing picture!

I then bought GtN as a Christmas present for myself last December. After having a very disappointing (and frustratingly queerbait-y) experience in my last fandom, I was feeling burnt out and extremely cynical. I’d said at that time that it’s foolish to trust writers who aren’t queer to do justice by queer characters… meaning, it was long past time I got around to reading a bunch of queer books by queer authors that I’d seen widely recommended but had passed on because I majored in Anime Nerd.

As it happened, I started reading the book one random Friday afternoon sometime during the holidays. 

I then proceeded to not put it down until literally 9 a.m. the following morning.

Now, to be fair, reading through the night and past sunrise isn’t super uncommon for me, but it doesn’t just happen for anything. (This also meant I got to the real juicy horror bits at like 4 a.m., an experience I can highly recommend.)

And after I finished the book… I took a deep breath, went to bed, and spent the next afternoon ranting to my little brother as I tried to iron out some rather mixed thoughts!

Things I took a while to warm up to:

-I know lots of people love Gideon as a narrator and protagonist - and very deservedly so, since sympathetic yet unapologetically butch protagonists like her are so woefully rare! - but she actually didn’t click with me at first, haha.

-As a sex-averse-ish ace, and as someone whose prior experiences with horny protagonists in published fiction has mostly been of the Gross Anime Dude variety, I absolutely did not know what to make of Gideon’s very openly lesbian brain. I kept expecting her to turn around and slap me in the face by abruptly becoming an unlikeable creep (see: Keiichi, Battler). 

And then she… didn’t? What? A horny protagonist that didn’t make me want to stab my eyes out? Even after I finished the book, I was struggling to wrap my head around that aspect of her. (Even now, I’m still not sure I can put my finger on what makes her so different from an Awful Anime Dude - but I suspect it’s in the way that Gideon is so kind and genuinely respectful of other people’s boundaries. No random humiliation-as-titillation jokes here!)

-Meanwhile another thing I had a hard time with was - and this will sound exceptionally silly - oh boy I am so very much not an athlete and I love magic and magic worldbuilding. So for me, a significant part of the book was mentally wanting to shake Gideon and yell at her to Pay Attention to the Necromancy Dammit! It’s cool and interesting and I wanna to know more, sure your swords are nice but I don’t care about swords that much! XD

-And, perhaps most oddly: I did not know what to make of the main relationship arc. Because - especially at the start - Gideon and Harrow’s relationship was a lot more fraught and unequal than I was expecting. I also tend to take characters at face value about how they say they feel (until proved otherwise) - so initially, I completely believed Gideon when she narrates about how all she wants is to leave the Ninth and for Harrow to die in a fire. Which then made scenes like where she goes to save Harrow from dying in a bone cocoon seem like a very abrupt and confusing reversal, haha.

It all added up to something that didn’t quite feel like a typical enemies-to-lovers. Like it was something else that felt weirdly familiar and just on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t remember what it was…

And then after I finished the book I learned that the author was a former Homestuck and OH. They were each others’ KISMESIS! Suddenly all the pieces fell perfectly into place and I was all EXCELLENT YES GOOD CARRY ON.

-(Tangent: my experience with Homestuck is that I encountered and read through it during the Act 6 hiatus while I was on break during college. I thought it was decently interesting, enough that I stuck around to read a few fanfics afterward. Then I just moved onto other things. And nothing I’ve heard about the author or the rest of the story has really made me want to go back and finish it. *shrug*

So while I’m certainly familiar with Homestuck, I am by no means an expert or even really a true fan or anything. Homestuck appears to be one of those things you either love it or hate it, and I’m a weirdo who just finds it “okay I guess.” Honestly, I’ve found it most interesting as a thing that went on to inspire other things! *cough* Undertale *cough*)

Things that are apparently controversial but didn’t bother me:

-The writing style: Gosh, I loved Muir’s style. How to even describe it? “gothic shitpost” is what I said to my brother. A swirl of lurid, almost purple prose spiked with sudden and irreverent memes that manages to be beautiful in one moment and laugh-out-loud hilarious the next.

Of course, one of my other favorite authors is Terry Pratchett, so the idea that pulpy genre works with humorous narration can also have Big Themes and invoke genuine emotion and drama didn’t come as a surprise for me in the slightest.

What maybe did surprise me a little was how… comfortable? this narrative style felt for me. I had been reading tumblr posts for years before I even made an account, and I’d been reading fanfiction even longer. So for me, the “unusual” slant of Muir’s writing wasn’t unusual at all. It was more of a slow realization of  “ahh. one of My People.”

-I’ve seen some people turned off by the way these books throw you in at the worldbuilding deep end and expect you to roll with it. But as I was reading, I didn’t even notice it, let alone register it as something to be bothered by? Diving in headfirst and learning the LoreTM as I go along is how I approach a lot of things, heh. Did I know the meaning of all the anatomy terms being tossed around? Hell no, but as long as I could make a decent assumption from context, that was fine by me!

(Not knowing much anatomy does, however, mean that writing fanfic for this series is going to be… just a little intimidating. eep. ^^;)

-The elephant impaled on a fence post in the room: Gideon’s death. So fair’s fair, I sure do love me some Angst and Suffering (see also: everything else on this blog). However, had I read the book on release, then the blatant Bury Your Gays might have made me more pessimistic and nervous (especially after those previously mentioned bad experiences…). But luckily I didn’t do that. I went into this book with the knowledge that the series continued and people were still raving about it. So I was willing to extend the author a tiny bit of trust.

Plus, of course, there was all the necromancy! Bury Your Gays, meet a very determined girl with a magic shovel. (See also: Madoka Magica Rebellion, which may merit a whole comparison post… but that’s for HtN and another time.)

-So yeah. I finished Gideon the Ninth, poured out all my jumbled feels and confusion to my little brother… and then put the series aside. Like, sure, I quite enjoyed it, and the writing/worldbuilding was so good that I was interested to read more eventually. But I wasn’t, like, obsessed or frothing at the mouth to read the sequel. I very rarely buy books for myself these days, and I had other things I was doing at the time. Like still attempting to write my Higurashi fanfic… :,)

Next time: Harrow the Ninth

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Rewatch and Review: 1x16 Shadow

In my analysis of this episode, I will discuss Dean’s understated intelligence, the hunting life as a metaphor for trauma, a silly altar, Kripke’s bad treatment of his female characters, and Sam being a pissy bish.

Supernatural’s sixteenth offering is an outing directed by Kim Manners and written by Eric Kripke. It is rated 8.5/10 on IMDb based on over 5,300 votes. It is an important plot episode as we discover that the conflict between John and the Yellow-Eyed Demon is heating up and could have very lethal consequences for the Winchesters. The actual writing for this episode is spotty and does not do a good job of presenting the characters as the writer wants us to view them: Sam is supposed to be Mr Smart University Man who is good with research and good at hunting, whereas Dean is supposed to be the air-headed, womanising himbo kind of man Kripke seems to resent for some reason. What the writing does, however, is show us Sam being mostly useless but earns his keep on occasion, whereas Dean is the true mvp (‘most valued player’) of the episode.

Unfortunately for the aforementioned plot, the show takes a three-episode break from the overall story for the space of episodes 1x17-1x19. This thin spreading of plot is one of the things I disliked about the show when I first watched it almost 14 years ago, and it would still be an issue if I still watched Supernatural for the story. Which I do not: I watch it for Dean.

Whilst we are on the subject of Dean – which we were not – I want to address a problem I have with both Kripke’s writing of him AND the general fandom’s perception of him: his sexual exploits. I will discuss the latter first: The Show tells us time and time again that Dean engages in much coitus with a plethora of womenfolk. I repeat, The Show tells us this, but television is a visual media and one of the basic precepts of visual media is ‘show, don’t tell’. The Show can tell us whatever it pleases about Dean’s adventures in copulation, but what it tells us is not in keeping with what it shows us.

How many women has Dean actually been shown with in the show so far? Only one: Cassie, a woman he was ‘in love’ with a few years previously. Certainly he has been flirty with women, e.g Jess in 1x01 Pilot, Haley in 1x02 Wendigo, Amy Acker in 1x03 Dead in the Water, Layla in 1x12 Faith, but nothing actually happened with any of them. He was in the (men’s) toilets for a long time in 1x15 The Benders, but other than that, the next time I can assume he had sex with anybody is 2x18 Hollywood Blues when he did the horizontal tango with the actress in the caravan. After that, the twins (at least one of whom was presumably female) in 3x01 The Magnificent Seven, the barmaid in 4x05 Monster Movie, Anna in 4x10 Heaven and Hell, Lisa in the time he spent with her between the end of 5x22 Swan Song and roughly 6x05 Live free or Twi-Hard, and then maybe one woman every two years until series 12, whereafter… nothing. Not a single woman.

This does not mesh well with what we are supposed to believe. Of course we do not see all of the boys’ lives, but we do not see nearly enough of Dean’s sexual interactions with women (or men) to have any actual reason to think he is as promiscuous as we are told. Yes he is flirty, but there is very good reason to believe he had to learn to be flirty as a child in order to keep Sam fed when John was away. It could simply be that his flirty nature is one of the roles he steps into in order to help him get through different situations: he knows how to flirt with women, and can be comfortable when he adopts that persona. How often he actually goes through with that is another matter altogether, and what he actually thinks and feels about sex is up for debate. My thoughts are that he does not like it quite as much as he says he does, but perhaps puts on the act because John, Sam, and others expect or demand it of him. I refuse to discuss toxic masculinity, but John and Sam’s expectations and demands of Dean because he is a man are undoubtedly poisonous.

Kripke, however, wants us to believe Dean is a himbo, a man-slut, a f*ck-boy, and a man-shaped hormone. Why else would he put lines such as ‘do you mind doing a bit of thinking with your upstairs brain?’ into his self-insert Sam’s mouth and not have Dean answer back if he did not want us to think Dean is an air-headed scarlet woman? More on this later when I discuss Kripke and Sam both sounding like women who hate men.

I will return to the very beginning of the episode: the cold open was generally effective and successful with lovely cinematography, use of shadows, and atmospheric sound design. Meredith WAS a bit of an idiot walking down creepy alleys in the middle of the night by herself with earphones in. It was also rather weird how quickly her panic abated as soon as she locked the door and set the alarm in her flat. Paula R Stiles wasted no time in her review pointing out that Meredith should have turned all the lights in her flat on and kept them on all night if she were that scared, but instead she blithely toddles over to her answering machine and listens to her messages. Conveniently, the messages fall silent as soon as we see Meredith’s heart getting ripped out. Funny, that.

Actually, let’s backtrack a moment. I said we see Meredith’s heart getting ripped out. This as only half-true: since Meredith is not a man, we do not see violence enacted on her, we just see the shadow.

Exit Meredith and enter Dean and Sam on a street in downtown Vancouver Chicago. There are a few things I like about the following scene: number one is the adorable security alarm company boiler suit, as much as Dean hates it and having to pay for it. Dean makes it very clear the outfits are expensive and the money comes out of his hard-earnt money. Later in the show, such costumes are infrequent and the boys opt instead for simply posing as FBI agents most of time. More’s the pity, because my dopamine level shot through the roof seeing Dean playing dress up.

I also enjoyed the sassy landlady, short though her role was. But the most noteworthy part of the scene for me was Dean spotting the symbol in the blood on the carpet. Other than revealing that Dean is a closeted Evanescence fan, it showed both his impressive working knowledge of occult insignia and his ability to link things together and spot patterns. People both within and outwith the show are keen to call Dean stupid, but he is anything but. He is not educated, but he is highly intelligent and knows a lot about the world he and Sam are in which Sam does not. His ability to spot patterns is also another bit of evidence for Dean having Asperger’s.

Bear this in mind as I jump forwards to a little later in the episode when Dean finds the meaning of the symbol and tells Sam about it over the phone, only to be met with Sam’s surprise that Dean knows how to research. ‘Name the last book you read,’ is Mr Me Smart University Man’s response, delivered with a superior, arrogant grin on his face. Sam’s concept of intelligence seems to be reading books and academic success, and a person who does not read books cannot be intelligent.

Quite apart from the fact that history, science, and craft magazines exist which are exceedingly educational, academic success does not guarantee intelligence: it guarantees specialisation and expertise in one area. Dean has this without academic success: how many times over the course of the show does he rebuild the car after an accident? How much knowledge of the occult does he have which we only get to see fleeting glimpses of? And how much lore and mythology does he know by heart whilst Sam has to ferret through books and websites. Is there a single pop culture reference he does not get? And he does read: it is canonically acknowledged that he likes Kurt Vonnegut. He also seems the type to be a fan of Cormac Macarthy and Stephen King, but back to the point: shut your gob, Sam.

The misplaced arrogance is especially glaring and grating in this episode because Sam does not actually do much at all for the first two thirds of the episode. Kripke wants us to believe Sam is awesome and cool, but he does nothing useful in Meredith’s flat while Dean spots the pattern in the blood. Dean does the research while Sam sits in a car. Drop it, Sam.

And did I mention Dean’s home-made EMF reader? The one Sam mocked him for making in 1x04?

It would be remiss of me to ignore the fact Dean had a dig at Sam with his ‘drama dork’ comment at the beginning, but that actually came off as a sibling joke. A little puerile and immature, but not mean-spirited, unlike Sam’s two jibes at Dean in this episode. Even the difference in their reactions says a lot: Sam is utterly unperturbed by Dean’s joke, whereas Sam’s ‘Do you mind thinking with your upstairs brain?’ wiped the smile off Dean’s face and had him rushing to explain himself like a child fearing punishment.

Whilst on the subject – please bear with me, Dear Reader, I am almost done with my Sam-bashing – I would like you to cast your mind back a few minutes to the beginning of this analysis: Sam’s pissy comment about Dean’s sex drive sounded like exactly the kind of thing a woman who hates men would say. There was absolutely nothing about Dean’s behaviour in the scene suggesting he was only thinking about sex. Sam’s comment was an unnecessary escalation meant to shame. You might be wondering ‘how did you get that from one sentence?’ If so, please go and look at what I wrote about Sam’s pissy, controlling behaviour in 1x13-1x15 for some context, or take a look at the offence and resignation of Dean’s face in this episode after Sam says ‘Name the last book you read’.

Paula R Stiles and I are in complete agreement about Sam’s view of Dean: he is an embarrassment, an interruption in his life, an idiot, and a burden. This has been true since 1x01, and it will remain true until the end of the show.

By the way, apropos the bar scene: do we know which bartender’s number Dean got? We see him talking to a barmaid, but their conversation did not seem like they had got far enough to exchange numbers, and Dean left her as soon as he saw Sam enter the pub. Curious... Meg’s Chad Michael Murray line also seemed to interest Dean while Sam was clueless. The camera also cut away to Dean’s face for some reason. Curious...

As for ‘Dad’s friend Caleb’, Dean already has his number on his phone, so who is the Caleb whose number is written in the notebook under the information about the daevas? Curiouser and curiouser.

Mentioning Chad Michael Murray brings me to the next big point of this analysis: Meg. I have to admit I did not like Meg much at all when I first met her 14 years ago, and to this day this first incarnation of Meg simply does not do anything for me. A mix of the writing and acting choices make her feel like a Bad Ass BitchTM and it does not tickle my frusset pouch. She sounds arrogant and annoying. No wonder Sam liked her. The second incarnation of Meg is more to my liking.

‘Dude, cover your mouth!’ What an incredibly rude way to talk to a stranger who was clearly clearing his throat, not coughing. Note also that Sam does not speak up for Dean at any point during this exchange (like he did not call Missouri out for being a mega bish), nor offer a real apology for the things he said. Sam is the show’s POV at this point, and it stands to reason that what Meg said is supposed to be the viewer’s takeaway from the exchange. We are supposed to think Dean treats Sam badly in spite of what the show shows us. Sam’s lame ‘He means well’ only serves to underscore the fact Sam thinks Dean treats him badly, and he does nothing to challenge Meg’s views on their dynamic.

That being said, I noticed that Kripke wrote the only recurring female character so far as a mega bitch and I did not like it for several reasons. The first reason is that is sucks to bring in a character who differs from the main two only to write her as a mega bitch, as if we would not notice the only woman is being written as a bitch. The second reason is that nobody in their right mind would ever say the things she said to Dean at first meeting unless they was an extremely good reason to do so. This made her feel unrealistic and hard to take seriously.

The third reason was Dean’s face after the bitching and his words outside the pub afterwards. He was perfectly justified in being upset by what Sam said about him, but Sam just brushes it aside so he does not have to deal with it. Rather than ‘I made a mistake, I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I’m sorry for bitching about you to strangers again’, he gives non-committal platitudes and lame reassurances that are as flimsy as something which is very flimsy. ‘Yes, yes, sorry, whatever, it’s not important, now let’s change the subject.’

In addition to the bitching, there is the fact that Sam was angry at Dean for telling Cassie about the hunting life in 1x13 Route 666, yet what Sam did was much worse and far stupider. He knew at that point that he was in danger and there would be ‘people’ following him, but he still could not help himself having a bitch about his idiot brother to the first person who would listen. Dean knew Cassie for a few weeks, but Sam knew Meg for all of a few hours before he starting spilling his secrets.

And the show wants us to think Dean is the stupid one.

One thing I did appreciate about Meg was the minimum amount of pontificating and snarky Bad Ass Bitch dialogue in the loft at the end. She did talk, but she was still doing stuff, even if the creepy rapey vibes of sitting in Sam and Dean’s laps while they were tied up was creepy and rapey. She is also serving somebody else and following somebody else’s orders, a fun-house mirror version of Dean.

The loft confused me for a long time, but before discussing that: Sam wants Dean to think Dean is stupid, and Sam clearly thinks he is smart. But please note, Dear Reader, that Sam followed Meg into the big scary building after a suspected murderer alone. That would have been the time to call Dean for back-up, but nope: Sam decides the prudent course of action is to climb up a lift shaft all by himself. Were you dropped on your head as a child, Sam?

Anyway, the thing which confused me about the loft was: why? Why did Meg have the altar in the loft rather than her home? It took until this evening when I was washing my hair and thinking of my analysis that I realise a few things: her flat was a small space with people above and below who would hear any loud noises going on there. That could cause problems for her plan, since she cannot have her daevas ripping people apart without the neighbours hearing. It would also be hard to lure Dean and Sam into a trap if she were not seen doing anything untoward such as entering a creepy building.

The black altar, by the way, looked like no effort had been put into it, and was taken directly from an emo-rock music video. Not that there is anything wrong with emo music: I am quite partial to a bit of My Chemical Romance on occasion. But you have to admit the altar looked cheesy.

Before continuing, I want to briefly outline something a friend recently explained to me: the hunting life as a metaphor for trauma, particularly generational trauma. People only enter the hunting life after a traumatic event such as the death of a friend or family member, or are raised into it by these same people. Normal people cannot see the world of monsters and demons, i.e. the life of a traumatised person, and when they get a glimpse of it, they run as fast as they can in the opposite direction. Normal people simply cannot handle it. The only people who can are those who have suffered the trauma of losing somebody, but most are doomed to die young and bloody.

Hunters are the only ones who can fight the monsters, but the more they fight, the greater the risk of getting hurt and the higher the likelihood of taking severe damage and dying. This works as a metaphor for facing trauma: if we ignore it, it might not get to us. Perhaps. We might even be able to live for decades with only infrequent encounters with monsters/trauma. Then again, we might not. Ignoring the problem is no guarantee of safety once we know the problem exists.

Even if we try to ignore the monsters/trauma, we might not ever even be able to fit back in with the normal people again. We know the other world is there, and that the normal world is simply a facade. It is always there trying to pull us back in, sometimes subtly, sometimes with a shepherd’s crook.

Dean was traumatised by the loss of his mother at the age of four, and after that John piled trauma upon trauma on him. ‘Hunting’ is the only life Dean knows, and the only place he believes he could ever fit. The normal world is a foreign place to him and his behaviour is too alien for normal people to understand. The world of monsters and hunters terrifies normal people, and they are quick to reject hunters and their ilk because they are too scary, just like the behaviour of traumatised people is often scary, uncomfortable, and difficult for people who do not understand. Even other hunters struggle to get Dean because each hunter’s experience is individual.

Sam was too young to be effected directly by Mary’s death in the way Dean was, but it drew him into the hunters’ world all the same. However, he was shielded from the brunt of the trauma in a way Dean simply was not: Dean was exposed to all the horror, whereas Sam was kept in the dark. John’s neglect had a serious negative impact on him, but it was mostly second hand. Dean was the buffer between Sam and the horrors of the hunters’ life, which is one reason why he was able to rebel and leave for university: he believed there was a way out, and he took it.

With this in mind, a discussion of the scene in the hotel room before Dean and Sam go to the loft is in order. The trauma of Jess’s death drew him back into hunting, but he still believes there will be an end to it one day and that he will be able to return to his old life. He believes that killing Azazel will be the end of his hunting life, i.e. that the worst of his grief will be over. Dean, however, believes it will never be over because he knows nothing else than hunting and has never been allowed to be anything else.

‘Dude, what’s your problem?’ - I forget that Dean’s mask is so well fitted that other people struggle to see past it, or even that it’s a mask at all. I honestly cannot be angry at Sam for not seeing this because he just does not understand why Dean is so upset, no matter how clear it is to me.

On the other hand, I do not understand how Sam can think it would be okay to abandon Dean. Dean is not Sam’s responsibility, true, but human relationships are not founded on only doing things because they are responsibilities. We do things because we want to help the people we care about, not because it is our duty to do so. Although perhaps this is more evidence to prove that Sam does not really care about Dean unless he is losing him.

I think this scene also shows that – in spite of fandom consensus – Sam is really not very good at all with reading other people’s emotions motivations or emotions. Given Dean’s emotional state when Sam announced his intent to leave him, the only reason Dean could have asked the question ‘Why do you think I cam to get you at Stanford, huh?’ is because he wanted to underline the fact he went to get Sam because he wanted Sam’s help, and he wanted to be with Sam again (Winc*sties, leave it!) and get his family back together. That is blindingly obvious to me, but I have had to learn to read people’s motivations and to actively interpret and understand them. Sam, apparently, is clueless here, whereas Dean is much more in tune with his thoughts and feelings. I have touched on this before, so constant readers should know this.

That said, the reason for Sam joining Dean was not to find John, or even to help Dean. It was to get his revenge on Jess’s killer. He did choose to join Dean, but only due to a lack of better options. Nobody else he knew could help him. However, one of the reasons Sam’s relationship with Dean is so strained is that he associates Dean very strongly with John. In fact, rather than seeing Dean as an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, and ideas, he regards him as simply an extension of John’s will. Sam finally managed to escape John, but is now forced to ally himself with Dean, whom he resents through no fault of Dean’s own.

Dean’s presence reminds him of John and the disastrous experience of growing up with John. I have said before that Dean bore the brunt of John’s abuse and Sam seems blissfully unaware of the majority of what his elder brother suffered, yet Sam clearly has his own issues that make it hard for him to be around his family. He wants to separate himself from John in order to heal and move on: the corollary of that is he wants to cut Dean out of his life because of his association with John. From Sam’s perspective, this is understandable, whether he knows this is what he is doing or not.

Dean knows much better than Sam that their life as a family was far from perfect, but he has nothing else. John made family the core of Dean’s identity, and he is utterly lost and hollow without it. Sam, however, sees Dean’s invitation as a trap. It would cut him off from the life he wants to live and doom him to a life like Dean’s. This is perfectly understandable, but Sam comes off as callous and patronising. He says things he thinks Dean wants to hear in order to take the edge off his words, but the actual substance of what he says sounds like ‘I have my own life to lead, sorry.’

The result, though, is that he comes off as callous and patronising. He says things he thinks Dean wants to hear in order to take the edge off his words, but the actual substance of what he says sounds like ‘I have my own life to lead, sorry.’

So what is Dean supposed to do? He has no life to ever go back to, and is instead doomed to be John’s tool for the rest of John’s life. Screw him, though, am I right? Let’s just abandon the traumatised man to deal with his trauma in an environment which makes it impossible to recover from trauma.

Paula R. Stiles’s thoughts run parallel to mine here, and I quote: ‘Dean gets upset. He wants his family together again and since he has no life outside of hunting, can’t conceive of it all ending. Sam rather coldly tells him that he has no intention of hunting forever and wants a “normal life”, of which Dean can’t really be a part (since, it’s implied, but not said, that Dean is not normal and deserves to be abandoned to his fate, much like the MOTWs he hunts). O the irony.

And this comes after Dean left John yet another unanswered voice mail. I know he claims to hate chick flick moments, but Dean needs a hug, a mug of hot chocolate, and a tartan blanket here.

And yes, it is time for that part of my analysis again: Jensen’s acting, Dear Reader! Dear Reader, Jensen’s acting!

Sam: ..things will never be the way they were before. Dean: Could be.

The subtlety, his facial expression, his nervous smiles-which-are-not-smiles, the tears in his eyes. Dean here knows he has no possible argument to make to convince Sam. He knows Sam does not really care about him nor want to spend any more time with him than necessary. 'Could be...'

Dean's rejection sensitive dysphoria is on full display in this scene, and this moment here shows the heart of his abandonment anxiety: he believes he is worthless and unlovable. And his final look after Sam says Dean will have to let him go his own way: at first it looked like anger, but after I took a second I saw somebody straining to keep as much of himself hidden and controlled as possible.

I feel exactly what he is feeling, and I cannot begin to understand how people miss this stuff. If only, if only he could have been cast as the lead in a show with better writers and a better budget.

Apropos John, when Dean told Meg that John would not walk into her trap, one’s mind is drawn back to when Dean was dying in 1x12 Faith and John did not come to see him or save him, nor even return his phone calls. One is also reminded of 1x09 Home when John did not answer Dean’s call about the ghost in the house Mary died in. The underlying implication here is perhaps that Dean believes John will not try to save him. Remember that when rewatching 1x12 Faith.

After the daevas yeet Meg out of the window (and there will be consequences for that), Dean and Sam return to their room to find Daddy Winchester lurking in the dark. How exactly he managed to find them is not explained: episode 2x07 The Usual Suspects informs us Dean and Sam have a practice whereby when separated they look for the first hotel in the directory and always take a certain room. Whether this is a code of conduct Dean and Sam have been following ever since in order to allow John to locate them if need be I do not know. At this point, I would not put it past John to have known exactly where Dean and Sam have been for a very long time, and to even have been in the vicinity many times, but has refused to let them see him, or even know he is near. Shady, shady behaviour.

As for the reunion scene itself, it clearly shows where we are supposed to focus our interest. Dean and John’s reunion is distant, shallow, unemotional, in spite of Dean willingly embracing John instead of drop-kicking him out the window as he deserves. They hug, but little dialogue of any variety passes between them, nor anything of substance. I see a beaten little boy hugging the dad who beats him hoping it will never happen again if he can just be better, but The show does nothing with this. It is glazed over.

Instead, it is Sam who gets the apology, the catharsis, and the heartfelt reunion. Given it is the first time Sam and John have properly spoken for years, it is also the first time in a significant length of time Dean and John have seen each other for the best part of a year, if not more at this point. Sam might believe Dean is John’s favourite, but how he can persist in this false belief is quite beyond me: Sam is clearly the favourite son. Dean loves (and hates) John, but I do not think John loves Dean: he is simply a useful tool to be taken for granted.

This reminds me of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Sam is the son who left and squandered all his money on wine and women, only to be welcomed back by his father who orders for celebrations to be held. The faithful son, however, who had laboured in his father’s fields all day, every day for years without such parties is understandably aggrieved by this, but his complaint is dismissed by his father: All that is mine is yours, etc. The parable tells us the father has treated the faithful son well, but the story is from the father’s perspective. Who knows how he actually treated his faithful son? Forget moral messages. The faithful son had every right to be pissed off after all the years of work he had put in, only for his wayward brother to be given the red carpet treatment.

Sam is the prodigal son, and Dean the faithful son. I cannot wait for John’s comeuppance, but at the same time Dean’s reaction was completely in character. Most of the wounds John inflicted on Dean’s psyche are yet to be revealed, and will continue to exact their toll over the next 311 episodes of the show, but knowing what I know, I both sympathise with Dean’s relief to see John again, and want Dean to be free of John forever. That is the only way he can be free of the man John wanted him to be, and free to be the Dean he wants to be.

While John hugged Prodigal Sam, Dean stood in the background watching. The camera even does a focus pull so that Dean is in focus and Sam and John are blurred. Dean has something like a smile on his face, happy to see his brother and father together again, but almost wistful, sad.

Luckily, the huggy pukefest is swiftly broken as the daevas yeet John into the kitchenette and proceed to eviscerate him. A quick cut away to outside the building reveals Meg alive and well, controlling the daevas with her amulet, then the camera is back on John. I was disappointed I did not get to see John torn apart. Note they focus on him, not all three: Dean is knocked around a little but Sam is ignored.

In spite of his quick thinking in using the flare (where exactly he learnt that light would cause them to dissipate is never revealed. Gary Stu Sam to the rescue!), Sam does the silly television thing where he tells the audience what he is going to do before he does it. This breaks my suspension of disbelief because it gives the daevas a moment to react and stop Sam doing whatever it is he is going to do. I think exactly the same every time a character sneaks up behind a monster or bad person and says something to get his/her attention rather than just shooting/stabbing him/her in the back before s/he realises what hit him/her.

The episode ends with John leaving Dean and Sam at dean’s insistence – ‘to protect him’ because John is in danger as long as he is around his sons. He is also in danger by himself, and surely three of them together would be better able to hide and fight off enemies, but whatever. Eric Kripke logic, I suppose. Why on Earth John was there in the first place if he knew his presence puts his sons in danger is beyond my ken, but I am quite sure Kripke thought it would be dramatic and cool. The man has some good ideas, but his execution is poor.

While on the subject of Kripke, earlier I discussed his bad treatment of women, but he also treats men badly in his shows. Women are fridged in one way or another too often (although in fairness hatred from female fans does not help), but almost all violence is against men. This is also true of his current project The Boys. To be honest, I got sick and tired of the show about half way through series two, and only kept watching for Jensen and Soldier Boy. What soured me against the show was the excessively graphic violence against almost exclusively men, with at least two instances of on-screen sexualised violence against men ending in graphic, bloody, painful death.

The violence, blood, and guts itself did not bother me, so let me put it this way: women complain about women being nude on screen more than men, but we see much, much more of men’s blood and gory inside bits than women’s. Women complain that female nudity objectifies them, but by the same logic the ubiquitous nature of violence directed almost exclusively at men deadens people to violence against men. The show is supposed to be liberal and progressive, but it seems rather regressive in its squeamishness to depict violence against women – especially not if a man is the perpetrator – and its treatment of men as cannon fodder.

It is also regressive in its treatment of gay/bi men. The first 15 minutes of The Boys 3x01 introduce two of perhaps three gay/bi men who have been acknowledged as gay/bi on the show, only for them to engage in weird, drug-fuelled sex and for one of them to die a horrible, bloody, sex-related on-screen death. Well done, Kripke, very well done. That is a perfect example of Bury Your Gays. “Look, we have gay sex on our show, aren’t we liberal, progressive, and inclusive! Psyche, now they’re dead. Screw you, gays.” I was supposed to laugh, I presume. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and wished I were watching Dark Angel instead.

Wait, Dark Angel – in spite of its good qualities – has the occasional noxious undertone of violence-against-men-is-funny-when-women-do-it-because-girl-power-or-something. Such violence includes Max hitting Alec across the head because she was in a bad mood, slamming Alec’s fingers in a locker door for no particular reason, and a kick to the genitals because Alec used a milquetoast slur, the only appropriate response to which was physical violence. ...and possible permanent damage. And possible infertility. Possible severe bleeding. Serious stomach pains… but all of this is funny, remember, because haha men’s genitals. She laughed as Alec was led past, clearly in too much pain to walk under his own steam, then she laughed and got told how she was a ‘rocking, awesome chick’. I swear by Allah’s beard, sometimes I just...

Anyway, that essay is available right here.

Returning to The Boys,the show has gay/bi women and it touched briefly on bi erasure, but this feels like a cover for shitty treatment of gay/bi men. Kripke also regretted not being able to include the Homelander raping Soldier Boy plot from the source material, because – and I paraphrase – it would have been funny to see the two fuck.

While Kripke's a Fan of the Homelander/Soldier Boy Sex Scene in the Comics, It Won't Work Here: "I love that scene and it's hilarious, but for a dozen reasons, all of which will be revealed when you see the season, it ultimately just didn't track. We talked about it. It conflicted with a lot of the other things we were trying to build with Soldier Boy. So, unfortunately, that one had to go," Kripke explained. "I would love to see Soldier Boy and Homelander f***ing, but it can't happen in this show, unfortunately, for reasons everyone understands."

Source: (x)

You read that right: Kripke described Homelander raping Soldier Boy as ‘fucking’, and he thought it was hilarious. And this guy is going to try using Soldier Boy to preach to me about how masculinity is toxic. For some reasons I am reminded of a badly-translated Biblical metaphor about motes of dust and planks in eyes. Bismillah, spare me...

And I just swore in one of my analyses. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound: shit bugger fanny bum fart.

This is supposed to be high-quality, intelligent television, but it is just spectacle and shock covering up an above-average-but-not-fantastic story and plot. Excessive gore and swearing does not make a show good: it just means the show has excessive gore and swearing. While I am very happy for Jensen to finally be on something bigger than Supernatural, I think this is beneath him. Soldier Boy is my favourite homophobic douche in the whole wide world, but Jensen deserves better. Lord of the Rings better.

On that note, I come to the end of my analysis of 1x16 Shadow. It was never a favourite episode and it feels as though something is missing. It is unsatisfying to have a mytharc episode in between so many monster of the week episodes because the build up to it has been non-existent and it will be a while yet before it has any real relevance to the plot again. It is certainly no bad episode, but I just do not care much for it, in spite of the purple plaid Dean was wearing.

That about does it for this time. Next time will be 1x17 Hell House, so look out for that. I bet you won’t.

Thank you to @emotionalsupportbees for the metaphor of hunting as trauma =)

[missnight0wl]

Let’s talk about the Cabal. The Rogues theory update

First things first: whenever I talk about “the Cabal”, I do not mean R. I always refer to the Cabal Jacob mentioned in his notebook in Y5Ch15. I explained in detail why he had to mean some other organisation then: here. I really recommend checking it before you continue reading this post below as it’s a relatively short analysis, and it’ll help us get on the same page.

Furthermore, I concluded that the Cabal is probably dedicated to protecting the Cursed Vaults, and that’s why they wanted to kill the siblings. I believe that the siblings are necessary to open the final Vault, so if they’re dead, the treasure should theoretically be safe forever. Also, since they want to protect the treasure, they probably wouldn’t like R who wants the power for themselves.

I know the game keeps using “R” and “a cabal”/“the cabal”/“the Cabal” interchangeably, but for the longest time, I thought it’s either misdirection or Jam City simply changed their original plans once again. I started leaning towards the second option, especially after coming up with “the Rogues theory”, but I’ve been thinking about it lately, and I realised that... the Cabal and the Rogues might be one and the same group.

Now, if you’re not familiar with the Rogues theory, I encourage you to read this post. This one, however, is much longer, so I understand if you want to skip it, and therefore, I’ll give you a summary:

“The Rogues” is the name I gave to a group of three people: Rakepick, the Wizard in White, and Verucca. In my theory, they don’t work for R, or at least they’re not loyal to them. Their real goal is to make sure MC KNOWS R is evil and won’t be swayed if R tried using any kind of manipulation to make MC join them. Now, Merula is truly the mole, and she wanted to join R to be a double agent or some shit. However, the Rogues are aware that she’s just a stupid kid who’d get killed right away, so they staged the meeting in Y6Ch45 to expose Merula. Therefore, Merula has to focus on MC knowing that she “betrayed them” instead of trying to play a hero with R.

Also, Rowan is alive.

And just to be clear, we’re talking about these people:

(Did I simply want an excuse to use this gif again? Maybe.)

Alright, so having these two pictures, you can see they have one thing in common: they don’t like R. Unfortunately, there’s one big difference between them, too: the Cabal wanted to kill the siblings while the Rogues are rather helping them (or at least MC). So, how they could be the same? Well, we just have to assume that something changed in their approach at some point. And the person behind it was probably…

MEPHISTO!

Just kidding. It’s Rakepick. Of course it’s gonna be about Rakepick. Spoilers up to Y7Ch29.

Alright, so here’s the thing about Rakepick: she’s an anarchist. No, really, even Snape called her that after Rowan was put under the Imperius Curse:

More seriously though, when you look at the beginning of Y4 when Rakepick was introduced, we heard quite a bit about her being a rebellious student.

Y4Ch1:

Y4Ch2:

She doesn’t really show much respect to the authorities.

Y4Ch1:

Y5Ch10:

And she doesn’t really like the Ministry.

 Y5Ch1:

Y5Ch2:

Sure, in the last example, she has a good reason to doubt the Ministry might be successful, but she also still sounds like she doesn’t think highly of them in general, especially considering the previous scene.

In other words: if I told you that Rakepick wears the “Fuck the system” T-shirt after hours, would it really be that hard to believe?

The problem is that we don’t see much of that rebellious Rakepick later in the story. In fact, I’d say it’s almost the opposite – and I’m thinking mostly about her involvement with R. Moody told us at the beginning of Y6 that she’s a minor member, and we’re supposed to believe that she’s the one at least since Jacob’s time, but… it doesn’t make much sense. Like, am I really supposed to believe that this rebellious and insanely ambitious woman just stays obediently at the very bottom of this silly organisation?

Moreover, I don’t even see why would she want to join R. It’s still the system. And sure, you could say it’s beneficial for her, but… HOW? R didn’t help her get back to Hogwarts – it was Dumbledore himself who wanted her to come. Nothing suggests that R was helping her later on. She did it all on her own, including creating her small army of apprentices. Why the fuck would she need R? Not to mention that it’s just bizarre that R would want to keep her around… I mean, she totally screwed up with Jacob. Why didn’t they eliminate her then?

Now, as you might know, I believe that Rakepick joined R only around Y5Ch20 and a big part of her story presented in the Portrait Vault was a lie. And while it explains some things I pointed out in the previous paragraph, we still don’t really see the rebellious Rakepick. Right? Unless… Patricia rebelled against her family – and it had an enormous impact on the story.

The Eye of Ra and the Rakepick family

So… I know the idea of the Eye of Ra being the symbol of R got pretty popular in the fandom, but… it just doesn’t make much sense. Sorry. I explained it properly in this post (it’s a rather short one again, so I recommend checking it out). In a nutshell, though: there’s enough evidence to believe that Rakepick wasn’t a member of R in Y4, so why would she wear their symbol then?

On top of that, in my opinion, it’d be a bit messy writing decision, to be honest. I mean, we have the Cursed Vaults located at Hogwarts, in Scotland. We have the Dark Scroll connected to Japan. And now the main evil organisation would originate from Egypt? Sure, it is possible. I just feel it’d make more sense to keep things more cohesive. Of course, this one is quite subjective, and my main arguments in this discussion are still the ones in the post linked above.

Anyway, I do believe that the Eye of Ra is connected to the Rakepick family only, seeing that both Patricia and Verucca wear the pin with this symbol. And it means that yes, I assume that they are related. Personally, I think that Verucca looks a bit too old to be Patricia’s mother, and my bet is rather on great-aunt, but it’s not super relevant. The relevant part is that they both belong to the Cabal. And that’s quite important because that’d also explain why Rakepick became a member despite her rebellious nature – because she was born into it. Alright, so what about that rebellion?

A bit earlier, I said that the Cabal wants to keep the Cursed Vaults safe by killing the siblings, right? Well, I believe it might be a fairly recent approach. I assume that at first, they were supposed to protect the Cursed Vaults and everyone involved with them. And by “everyone”, I mean families like Torvus’s who had the arrow to the Forest Vault as an heirloom for generations. Another family could be responsible for keeping the vault portrait etc. The point is that eventually, someone from the Cabal was like: “Hey, instead of protecting them, let’s kill them. They’re gonna be dead, but the Cursed Vaults will be safe forever”. And honestly, I suppose it could’ve been Verucca herself who came up with this idea some years ago. However, Patricia had a different vision…

I never was convinced by Rakepick wanting to get the treasure, so I don’t think it’s as simple as that. But in my own story, she actually wants to destroy the Cursed Vaults, and it can be applied in this theory as well. For her, it’d be a challenge. Still, I imagine that she needs to reach the final Vault to do that, so she’d need the siblings. And this is where her cooperation with Jacob might’ve started. Rakepick needed Jacob to reach the final Vault to destroy it. Jacob, on the other hand, would agree to work with her because no Cursed Vaults means that nobody would try to use him or his little sibling in the future. Sounds pretty fair, doesn’t it? 

Of course, the problem was with the Cabal because Verucca wanted to kill Jacob... So, what now? Well, let me remind you of one important line from Jacob’s notebook:

What if Rakepick wasn’t afraid but rather worried – because she didn’t know if Verucca would agree to her plan? Jacob might’ve misinterpreted her emotions. And here’s the thing: you might be a fearless Curse-Breaker, dealing with Manticores, Sphinxes, and whatnot. But standing up to your family? That might be intimidating. Now, I don’t want to compare it to Encanto…. but it’s kind of like Encanto. It might’ve taken years before anybody got the courage to tell Abuela Verucca that she’s not doing the best job. Apparently though, Patricia had to convince her somehow in the end, seeing that MC is still alive (I’m not so sure about Jacob, but I assume it wouldn’t be the Cabal’s fault…).

Oh, and I want to point out that Rakepick being connected to the Cabal would explain even better why R didn’t want her to get involved.

Y4Ch3:

Y4Ch5:

It’d possibly even explain Dumbledore’s claims:

The Cabal and the Cursed Vaults

Let’s move to an explanation of how the Cabal might be connected to Dai Ryusaki. And to put it shortly: very closely. 

See, I actually believe that Dai Ryusaki wasn’t that bad at all and that he wanted to protect the wizarding world from his Dark Scroll. That he recognised how dangerous it is and that nobody should use it. I also assume that it is in fact in the final Cursed Vault, we just didn’t deal with it properly at the end of Y6 (so we’re probably gonna return there before the end of the game). Why I believe Ryusaki was innocent, though? Because, like I said before and I’ll keep saying, that’s basically the theme of the story.

I guess that the best example to illustrate this is actually Jacob. At the very beginning, we were told that he was obsessed with finding the Cursed Vaults. Only later, we started slowly learning that he was worried about students getting hurt. That R was manipulating him, threatening him with hurting his loved ones, and basically forcing him to do all of that. Jacob wasn’t a madman with dangerous obsession – he was a victim, and he was trying to protect other people.

We can also kind of see it with Ben in Y4 when the game tries for the whole year to make him look suspicious, only to reveal that he was controlled. We hear it almost all the time in Y7: things are not what they seem to be. Corey was introduced with the story about Emeric the Evil about how people might do bad things for various reasons – not always bad morally.

Moreover, I believe that it could’ve been very similar with the Wizard in White. Ever since we heard about him for the first time in Y5, he was presented as someone dangerous, attacking Mundungus with some unknown incantations and whatnot. Then, we learnt about him being expelled for using Dark Magic. And… doesn’t it sound like the beginning of Jacob’s story?

On top of that, I wouldn’t be surprised if the WIW is somehow related to Dai Ryusaki. I mean, if the only reason for making him a former Mahoutokoro student was to say: “Oh, he got expelled because he was looking for the Dark Scroll”… it’d be rather disappointing. But if the WIW is related to Ryusaki, it totally makes sense that he’d be a part of the Cabal now. And that the Cabal continues Ryusaki’s mission: to protect the world from the Dark Scroll.

It’s all about protection

Let me ask you something. What was the very first thing Rakepick did when she was alone with MC in Y4Ch1? She taught us Protego.

Moving on…

Y4Ch14:

Y5Ch10:

I’m not gonna talk here about saving us from Ben in Y4 or saving us in Knockturn Alley in Y5 because my point is rather about preparing MC to defend themselves. Even breaking our wand was sort of a part of it because MC needed that damn new wand. And I’ll use here a comparison from my old analysis as I still think it explains my point well:

Imagine that magic skills are similar to drawing skills. You go to school, you get a pen, a pencil, maybe some crayons. You learn to make some simple patterns, to write, sometimes you draw. And every now and then, there will be a person who’s particularly good at drawing. They will practice, they will get better, and especially if they have talent, they’ll be able to create amazing art, even if only with a ballpen. And for most people, the basic school supplies will be enough. Even our artists can do well just with that. But they can also become better by getting better supplies, by learning new media etc. It will take more time at first for sure, but the end result will be more impressive.

The basic supplies are obviously MC’s first wand. It doesn’t mean there was something wrong with it, and it had to be changed. If you give just a simple pencil to an artist and to a “regular” person, the first one will still create something better. But then came Rakepick, and she recognised that MC can do more. That not only they went through a lot of changes and a different wand might be more suitable for their personality now, but most importantly that they have extra potential to improve. This was ultimately a good thing for MC.

And what about the other members of the Rogues/the Cabal? Well, one of my theories as to why the WIW “attacked” us in Y6 is that he was trying to protect MC from someone else’s attack. You know, just like MC did during “The Quibbler” TLSQ to protect Chiara from Ismelda’s attack:

And yeah, I still insist that the WIW’s real intention back then was to talk to MC. It wasn’t about kidnapping MC and that whole leader bullshit because the WIW doesn’t even work for R.

Now, I don’t have much for Verucca, but I do want to talk more about Burke. A while ago, I gathered all of our interactions with Healer Burke at St Mungo’s. Please, take a moment to check it here because if you really look at it, Burke was like… the sweetest person ever. And something very prominent about him is phrases like: “Try not to worry”, “Don’t worry, we have it under control” etc. Burke was quite literally trying to protect MC’s mental health. Sure, you can say that it’s just an act. But that’s not all I have to say about Burke.

In Y7Ch29, Burke had that mysterious line about “coming home”, right?

I know people assume that it’s a reference to the whole leader thing, but I still think it makes no sense. I explained it already here. However, I have a bit different interpretation for you instead.

If the Cabal was always about the protection, it’d make sense that some members (like Burke, for example) weren’t fully supportive of Verucca’s decision to kill the siblings. After all, they were supposed to protect both the Cursed Vaults and the families connected to them. In a way, they could see the siblings almost like the Cabal’s family. They don’t have to be all literally related – it’s more about… community, I guess. You know what I mean? In such a case, it’d make sense that Burke talked about home. Because “home” is a very emotional word that makes you think about safety. And that’s what the Cabal originally was about.

Another thing that might prove that Burke wasn’t talking about R is R’s letter they sent to Jacob after Duncan’s death.

So… R’s mentality is that “there are no friends”, but then Burke suddenly talks about “HOME”...? Yes, because Burke belongs to a totally different organisation that has an entirely different mentality. R is corrupted, and they care only about power and the treasure. That’s why there are no friends for them. Emotional attachments make them weaker. But for the Cabal, a more emotional approach helps them stay true to their mission of protection.

Oh, and I keep using “the Cabal”, but to be fair, I assume they might have a different name – Jacob just didn’t know it when he wrote about them in his notebook. In fact, I believe that R and the Cabal might’ve been one organisation once, but they got separated at some point because of different views. So, technically, they both might have the same name.

One last problem…

One of my main assumptions in the Rogues theory was that the Rogues acts against R, and they want to make sure MC knows R is evil. That’s why Rakepick made it absolutely clear that Rowan is dead because R wanted it (while they wanted to have nothing to do with Duncan’s death – even though we know it’s ALSO their fault). And that’s why the WIW was so off-putting when telling us that R doesn’t give a fuck about what MC wants, and we’re gonna be their leader no matter what. However… wouldn’t R realise by now that someone gives them a bad rap?

Well, yeah, they would. In fact, I suspect they already did. I think that the Cabal got compromised after Y6Ch35 when they staged the meeting for MC to learn that R has a mole at Hogwarts. That’s why Merula was surprised to see Rakepick in the Sunken Vault. Rakepick was hiding from R at the time, so R couldn’t tell Merula they’re sending her to the Vault – because they didn’t send her. Moreover, if I’m right about the WIW and Victor being related (which would be another parallel between Jacob and the WIW), I suspect that R might be behind turning Victor into a vampire as a punishment for the WIW.

The conclusion

So, yeah… that’s pretty much it! As always, do I think it’s too complicated for Jam City? Absolutely yes! Do I care? Not at all! I believe it might be what was planned in the original story, though. My goal at this point is basically to explain the plot holes in the simplest way possible without ignoring things, even if I’m aware that JC won’t address these issues properly. Therefore, if you see some inconsistencies or something isn’t clear – feel free to hit me up!

Oh, and one more thing… While you might say that having two groups is too complicated and whatnot, the idea of “R and someone else” is not entirely new for the game.

Y3Ch6:

Y4Ch4:

Y4Ch10:

Of course, it might be viewed as an early foreshadowing for the reveal that R is a secret group… But what if there’s even more to that?

[strawberiitea]

ELLO, SASSY LASSIES!

i'm Tea, but some people call me Strawberry!

my blog content—and well, my blog just in general—is quite sporadic, and to put it simply, a hot fucking mess. but nevertheless, being the fool that i am, i'll try to condense the rawest form adhd into a tight little intro post for your absolute viewing pleasure <3

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so if it wasn't painfully obvious enough; i'm a wilbur centric blog! :]

from time to time i write sympathetic analyses on his character, his arc, and his silly little mental health! [sometimes i dismantle bad takes if i feel the wrath of god.]

due to this, i've pretty much gained the title as a wilbur analyst at this point. i've sorrounded myself with fellow clowns in this circus i call home. pretty poggers, i'd say.

i also write and post a few poems here and there depending on my oscillating confidence levels, draw once every blue moon, and mostly just spam my blog with either rbs or my cretinous dumbassery <3

tags n' sorting below the cut!

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#tea posts — for some horrid reason, i thought it'd be a good idea to have an all-encompassing tag for every single post i've made on this hellsite. pogchamp!

#teanalysis — my analysis tag!! more specifically, wilbur analyses, because there is simply no rest for the wicked. aka; rare sightings of tea using more than 2% of her brain.

#shut up tea — currently my ramble tag, although i'm considering changing it as it's a ghost tag/an old stand in.

#tea nonsense — bro i have no fucking idea. all i know is that you will find the script of the fools in there.

#tea writing — *twiddles thumbs* i put my poems there.

#tea draws — when i'm not being absolutely crushed by either executive dysfunction, schoolwork, demotivation, or all of the above; i draw sometimes!!

#tea scribbles — not to be confused with #tea draws. do be warned though it is 95% wilbur doodles.

#teaanswers — sometimes i get asks. anons come home i miss you.

#tea heritage posts — my absolute peaks as a niche silly little tumblr blog. here are my posts that, dare i say, are iconic. /j shit i'm known for. somehow.

#self rb — also known as ego inflation, a desperate cry for exposure, or dlcs for rambles.

#rb ramble — the amount of times i've rambled and/or written an essay in someone's rbs is one too many so there's... a tag... for it....

#fanart rb — it's a whole ass art gallery in there bro like god damn.

#writing rb — *blows kiss* to the writers.

#analysis rb — i like to archive silly little neat analyses like a silly little library. god bless.

#archive of soot — *sighs* yes, i have a seperate tag for wilbur analyses. yes, i'm a fool.

#friend tag :] — my beloveds.

#🖐 HOME HOME — a tag for a bunch of dumbass screenshots from my friend server. my beloveds.

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written on: 27/5/2021

last updated: 27/5/2021 [10:56 am]

[quitetheketch-moved]

so I’ve been seeing bad taste in youtubers, not like in my mutuals or anything but in general but it made me want to make a like, recommended list of youtubers i like who are pretty chill if not full on comrades so here we are - not prompted by anything specific but an itch I got here some of the channels I like:

Cooking:

BORE.D - Fun cooking channel with a stylish presentation 

Chinese Cooking Demystified - Like it says on the tin, informative authentic Chinese dishes from all over the country. 

David Seymour - started with buzzfeed taste tests but now covers most big cooking channels seeing if he can recreate them and how they are

Maangchi - Plz cook for me, like i’m begging feed me it all looks amazing 

My Name Is Andong - fun cooking videos from all over, especially the ones about Russian food.

Simply Sara Kitchen  - good home style cooking 

Souped Up Recipes - Traditional Chinese cooking

Movies/Tv:

Accented Cinema - a video essay channel with a focus on Asian cinema

Folding Ideas - Not strictly about film but I tend to watch a lot of essayists who fall into multiple things and I kinda just have to lean into their main aesthetic but Dan is a gif so check him out.

Jack Saint  - Jack and Joel have a lot of similar style of content but Jack leans into media stuff more so i’m moving him over here. (although i’ve been working on this post for over an hour going through my alphabetical yt sub list and i’m starting to regret trying to categorize them)

PushingUpRoses  - a must watch if you love old tv especially Murder She Wrote

Renegade Cut - Does games too, and frankly they are some of their best work, but quality media analysis.

Ryan Hollinger - Horror movie analysis

Scaredy Cats  - More horror movie analysis but my favorite channel of this kind

Gaming Essays:

Adam Millard - video essays about video games - really recommend the video on Frog Fractions and the Longing

Curio - I’m putting them here because theres been a big focus on games lately and they recently started twitch streaming which is fun but really it’s all media essay. Just please check out their four part Witcher series adfkj it’s the most recent so easy to find.

Errant Signal - I dont have much to add other than please check out Errant Signal, they dont post much but I am in love with this channel.

Game Maker's Toolkit  - in depth essays about elements of game design

Jim Sterling  - Okay not essays but gaming news - if you dont check out anyone else here you should still check out Jim. Especially if you care about the rights of workers in the gaming industry. 

Gaming Play:

Biffa Plays Indie Games - mostly does Cities Skylines but sometimes other, great videos to relax to.

GaLm - GaLm deserves so much much than he gets, Love him been watching him for forever and honestly he’s enough of a workaholic that there’s so much content you WILL find something you like. All complete with critical analysis.

GrayStillPlays - one of the few like, non overtly left-os here but listen, if you want some slightly silly slightly more edgy style of video game videos to kinda turn off your brain and just enjoy you cant get much better than grey. He’s chaos but chaos that doesn’t rely on racism. Maybe one too many jokes about addiction but they aren’t usually punching down so???

John Wolfe - chill horror youtuber - not much to say but one of my favorites.

KatherineOfSky - want the most soothing voice ever to gently play hardcore logistic games at you? Well holy fuzzy cats, you’re home.

Many A True Nerd - Partner to Claire in the category below, known for his fallout but plays just about anything. Also loves grand strategy and paradox games. Good playlist management too do easy to find what you need.

Wanderbots - A just, massive amount of indie game content.

Commentary/Other:

Claire Rousseau - Books youtuber who is just a delight, I dont know how else to describe her but even tho I dont read anymore i’d still die for her.

Courtreezy -  just the queen of being bubbly and fun (some of these I dont have good sales pitches for just *shoves them at you* give em a shot)

D'Angelo Wallace and dangelowallace - Main and second channel, both the same kind of content but the formats are different. Dont always agree with all his opinions but man, theres no fault in the way he presents and researches them - solid essayist but also just oozes charisma and good times.

Drawfee Show - one of the bigger channels here save D’Angelo above so you may already be familiar with them but just a fun weekly drawing show. Good times.

Foo the Flowerhorn  - Watch fish be fed bits of blanched vegetables, like that either sells you or not but it’s Good.

Jarvis Johnson and Jarvis Johnson! GOLD - primary and secondary channels, pure commentary channel on a wide range of topics - i recommend the videos on 5 min crafts and the bachelor.

Life in Jars? - Eco-spheres and terrariums oh me :0

MacDoesIt - Gay chaotic energy, just chock full of Moods and fun times.

Sarah Z - Unofficial tumblr historian

Politics:

Big Joel - kinda variety content, plenty of media analysis but through a strongly leftist lens. Torn between here and commentary but the balance is slightly more overtly political than just media commentary through a political lens so here we go.

Black Red Guard - A black leftist commentary/essay channel focused on black issues and self described as a “New Afrikan Maoist”, this is fairly new channel I found so I’m not as good at describing his content def not better than he does but solid stuff through a perspective I wouldn’t normally get.

hbomberguy - Just watch his video on Pathologic please. Or like, watch 20 mins then go play Pathologic then come back after you’ve beaten it and Pathologic 2 and finish the video.

Innuendo Studios  - Frankly I had no idea where to put this one, because it’s a little of everything but mostly media analysis but also please watch the alt-right playbook if you like, want to understand more about how radicalization happens.

KAR - Black anarchist channel, solid political videos but shorter than most of the ones here so better for consuming when you dont have much time.

Leslie Exp - Videos about disability

Luna oi! and NonCompete  - frankly best agitprop communist duo. A good place to start learning about mutual aid and what anarchism is, beginner friendly videos on leftist theory.

Philosophy Tube - Videos are super polished and well made essays about philosophy, super theatrical and flashy. Honestly cannot stress enough how fun the production value of these are.

Professor Flowers - Nuanced important discussions about race, media, and the political landscape.

Some More News - Like it says on the tin, news but told to you by a disheveled fed up leftist (I joke because i’m running out of things to say in the comment for each but really, Cody and his entire team deserve a lot of credit for their well researched videos on current events)

Thought Slime  - Agitprop but make it a little silly because tbh we all need some jokes rn

Honorable mentions of some slightly bigger channels you may already know but I enjoy: UpIsNotJump , Steve1989MREInfo , SmallishBeans , RTGame , Primitive Survival Tool  , Mumbo Jumbo ,  emmymadeinjapan ,  Kurtis Conner ,  Danny Gonzalez , Drew Gooden  , How To Cook That , JunsKitchen , Defunctland 

[clockworkouroboros]

I’m in a The Amazing Devil Discord server and have been going wild with crazy insane theories about just about everything, drawing connections that probably don’t actually exist, and generally losing my mind over both Love Run and The Horror and the Wild. That being said, I do have a theory about THatW that, if it’s not true, at least merits me a tinfoil hat, I think. Just be warned, this post will be long, and yes, I will include receipts.

So here’s this theory and Joey, if you read this, just know that I’m impressed either at how much thought was put into this, or the sheer number of coincidences that make this work if it wasn’t planned. It’s turned me into a conspiracy theorist for the past four days or so? And it’s severely affected the amount of sleep I’ve been getting.

My basic theory here is that Joey and Madeleine aren’t singing as themselves throughout this album, they’re playing characters, and those characters are old gods. Joey is the Wild, Madeleine is Time. (Alternatively, she’s Horror, fitting with the album title, but as she’s never explicitly referred to as such, I’m not insisting on that point.)

Now, where am I getting this silly idea from? None other than the title track, of course, in which Joey sings, “witness me, old man, I am the Wild, and Madeleine sings, “And I am Time itself.” And yes, they are both capitalized like that in the lyrics.

So they explicitly refer to themselves as such. But Emily, you might be saying (or not, depending on how much you care), that’s one song! This is hardly an album’s worth of proof! Sure, they might be gods in this song, but what about the other eight? To which I say, hoo boy, I’m just getting started.

Before I continue, I’d like to add something about how their characters are depicted throughout the album: Joey is more cheerful, Madeleine is not. (see: Wild Blue Yonder, Marbles, Battle Cries.) Joey is whimsical, Madeleine is practical. (See Battle Cries especially, but you can also see this in Wild Blue Yonder.) Madeleine is referred to multiple times as being stronger than Joey, and appears to assume a more protective role over Joey’s childlike. This fits in with my theory, by the way, in a roundabout sort of way that involves some squinting. Joey is the Wild, which is...well, wild. Think of little kids: cheerful, whimsical, in need of protection. Madeleine is Time. She knows what has been, what is, and what will be. Of course she’s going to be more mature, practical, and pessimistic.

And why is this important? Well, it’s kind of how I’m tying together a lot of the rest of the album. (Not all of it; Farewell Wanderlust is a notable outlier in many ways, and some of my connections are tenuous at best, but we’re going to ignore that and pretend it’s all rock-solid. Rockrose-solid. I’m sorry, I’m very tired.) I’m ignoring The Rockrose and the Thistle a little bit in this post, not because I dislike it (it’s gorgeous), but because it’s stubbornly eluding my attempts to tie it into anything other than Elsa’s Song, which isn’t even part of this album.

The vast majority of what you need to know about these two characters is in The Horror and the Wild (the song), so I’m gonna copy/paste some lyrics, and go through them. (Actually, the copy/pasting is nonexistent, these lyrics are imprinted on my brain at this point. That being said, if there are errors, lmk and I will edit the post and fix them!)

So we’ve got Madeleine starting, singing about Joey, with “You were raised by wolves and voices, every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed, they said it all comes down to you.” Aside from the fact that I have no clue why “it all” comes down to Joey, or anything with that last bit, maybe a few more late nights with a tinfoil hat will do the trick. That being said, the first line of the song references childhood specifically in relation to Joey. Notice also how wolves are referenced in Wild Blue Yonder (“we don’t know what’s out there/could be wolves”) and That Unwanted Animal (“‘What’s the time, Mr. Wolf,’ but you, you’re blind, you bleat, you bear your claws”). The whole “howling” thing and “deep beneath your bed” both pop up in That Unwanted Animal, too: “and on the wind it howls,” for one. And for the other, there’s “you [presumably Joey] make the bed up silent on the floor so no one hears us,” later followed later in the song by “and the door below us splinters, and the creature creeps inside.”

Following this, Joey sings about Madeleine: “you’re the daughter of silent watching stones, you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments, in wonderment at you and yours, forever asking more.” First of all, I’m gonna say that this is Joey’s point of view; later on, Madeleine will refute the daughter thing (“I’m not a drunkard, a daughter, a preacher”.) Anyway, “silent watching stones” could reference Wild Blue Yonder: “every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view.” The view being the stars hurling all their fundaments?

(Incidentally, I knew vaguely what “fundament” meant, but I looked it up to make sure I had it right, and learned that, among its other meanings, “fundament” can mean “butt.” But I don’t think that’s what Joey had in mind with this. I just think y’all should appreciate it.)

Anyway, we’ve also got in Battle Cries, “With you I could summon the gods and the stars, make them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart, and we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears,” with Madeleine singing, “Come on, love, please don’t start, sing your notes play your part,” and then the part that gets me every time: M: “we were gods,” J: “we were kids.” Which is a whole other can of worms involving their personalities, which I’ve already briefly outlined. My point is the whole “gods and the stars” bit.

I could (and have, on Discord) done a full, in-depth analysis of this track, and I don’t want to go all over it again, but “I promise you, they’ll sing of every Time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child, witness me, old man, I am the Wild” has both Time and Wild as proper nouns in the lyrics, plus reinforces Time’s view of the Wild as a child. No clue who the old man is, though.

In verse two, Madeleine sings, “you [Joey] are the son of every dressing-up box, and I am Time itself, I slow and let you play, I steal the hours, and turn the night into day.” Again, this reinforces Joey’s childlike aspects (which will later be hinted at in That Unwanted Animal, with the “god-child,” who’s clearly Joey), but also shows, as in the refrain, the fact that Time has a sense of protectiveness over the Wild, at least sometimes.

That being said, although I’ve obviously referenced other songs, I still have mostly focused on the title track. So. I’m going to go through some of the other songs real quick.

The songs on the album (again, excepting Rockrose, because my attempts to tie it in have been frustrating and not gone anywhere, Mr. Batey please explain) can be grouped into categories: songs outright referencing gods (THatW, Farewell Wanderlust, That Unwanted Animal, Battle Cries), songs about their relationship, (arguably all of them, although Welly Boots is a bit confusing), and songs that refuse to allow me to classify them (Rockrose).

I would argue that this entire album is about the relationship of two old gods, but I’m not quite sure what the chronology is of the album, because it seems like it can’t be straightforward. (Farewell Wanderlust, although its placement makes sense in the setup of the album, doesn’t make sense in the chronology of this theory.) Another important note in some way is that every song on the album, with the exception of Farewell Wanderlust, is about being there for someone, or steadfastness in some capacity, while Farewell Wanderlust is about abandonment. It’s an outlier in a lot of ways. (Though not as many ways as frickin Rockrose.)

I have been talking about this at great length (and almost incessantly) on Discord, so unless you want this post to get even longer, I’m going to run by some lyrics real quick to try and show a little bit my thought process.

- “He watches her get dressed as though she’s hurtling through time” (Fair)

- “And she is stronger than he has ever been, he knows” (Fair) versus “Without you, I’m stronger, I’m no longer filled with wonder. How wrong you were” (Wild Blue Yonder, Welly Boots)

- J: “Place your hand in mine” M: “Hold the hand of the god-child, they said, as he falls from the sky” (That Unwanted Animal)

- “I’m the saint of the paint that was left in the pot, I’m your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “the fluttering of all your wings” (The Horror and the Wild) versus “when you think about him, my wings start to flap” (Farewell Wanderlust)

- “come, devil, come, she sang, call out my name. Let’s take this outside, ‘cos we’re one and the same. Our gods have abandoned us, left us, instead, take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead” (Farewell Wanderlust)

There are even more lyrics, and I’m going to be completely honest with you, I’ve gone totally insane with all of this, but this post is way too long already, so just let me know if you want any clarification or something.

Tldr: The Amazing Devil’s album The Horror and the Wild is about two old gods, one being Time, and the other being the Wild, or the god-child. The album is primarily about their relationship and steadfastness they show each other, even in tumultuous circumstances.

Now go excuse me while I attempt to take off this tinfoil hat that appears to be stuck on my head.

[alottamoney]

Lisa anon again.Thank you for for insightful answer.But - first things first- am I not a seer or what?You saw what happened with the BP debut on weVerse.WV "mistakenly" made a technical error that basically was free promotion of BP's debut .After they apologised saying "oops!" and corrected their "mistake".In short ARMY suddenly had BP in their following tag after they made their debut.They had to go to the BP page to leave manually.This is shaping out to be a very interesting turn of events considering BTS didn't/doesn't need BP for anything,whereas bp benefits all things good from this association.Lisa has been trending non-stop since her "supposed slip up" in JK's vlive.For BTS, Nothing but money can be gained from this association.They are at a stage where they should collaborate with independent Korean artists to not only uphold them,but for self enrichment as well.

To explain about my perceived after-effect of jikook,I have to talk about a key decision that V made,which is corroborated by other members as well(Suga,Jimin). Keeping his worklife and personal life separate.He considers BTS his work life.The friends are in Wooga squad,who were like unicorn to the members.If you go back in time this change came about from Fall 2018.You can see where I am going with this.

When you think about jikook,you think about jimin.I think by now it is general consensus that bighit promoted jikook to heavily promote jimin.I don't know if I can write so much here but I am trying to provide you with the short version.I believe Taekook had disagreements about bts vs them very strongly in 2018 which was about which should they focus on more.Coupled with the fact that now they were quite openly a pair in front of the members and key company people,they were under pressure not to neglect their professional commitment.I had a hunch before that Jungkook struggled with this a lot.He confirmed it for me(supplemented by My Time and his 'all of my life' cover) when he suggested a story "The herdsmen and the weaver",which is a sad love story of two people who fell in love,but due to them neglecting their chores,were banished by the king who allowed them to see each other only once a year.The king wanted to teach them a lesson. I think bunny drowned himself with work to numb the pain.While Taehyung who didn't have as much load as bunny,wanted the opposite.Jikook comes in here because jimin's schedule is almost as full as bunny's.Here,I sincerely believe, jimin exercised some behaviour regarding Taekook's relationship,which Tae didn't like,and later the members would react negatively to it too.Jimin is a strict person regarding his work ethic.Tae is an easy going intuitive person. I think Jimin was opposed to the idea of taekook in BTS's workspace due to his aforementioned work ethic.and don't forget that jikook was ongoing too,which obviously Tae would've preferred would happen with less "intensity" shall we say.I have seen angry Tae during jikook moments and I have also seen Jimin noticing that and smirking.He didn't take it seriously but it's safe to assume that Tae was serious.It's interesting that jikook could converse and have flirty talking and Tae would be fine.But the extreme physical ones would rearrange his face. On the professional front, he was not being heard and recognized which was just a mess.

With the other members it too was easy to see.They started getting irritated with jikook for 1. BTS is not only jikook.But for a time it seemed only they were the bts.The others were just there.Jikook and co. It did not suit with other members. 2. They did not like jimin in taekook situation.I remember around that time Taekook were extremely hot and cold.And from that time(late 2018- early 2019) , vmin never seemed the same.There was a time when in interviews /place where Jikook was happening,RM and Jin would look from Tae to jikook I kid you not.It wasn't about romance.But couples are gonna fight and makeup.That's the rule of the universe.If you are picking sides in fights just remember after a while they are gonna be together and you are going to feel like shit.

Relationships that changed that you cannot deny no matter how much you look at it : 1. Suga-Jimin - Suga had a real softcorner for Jimin.Extreme is the right word.But now it is not like before.Instead Suga became extremely protective of V.

2. Jin- Jimin - I don't know what happened but again Jin has bonded with Tae for some time.Jin has had a great relationship with Jimin but now it's not reflected in their demeanor.

3. Vmin- The biggest change.They are cordial with each other.But they are not bffs no matter how much they preach it.Tae has kept Jimin outside his boundary of personal life for quite some time.They are professional so it is not apparent to the newcomers.But ARMY have seen them grow up.

I struggled with one thing.Why would Jimin not think V's anger was serious being his "bff"?I have a feeling he thought of it as silly.Not going to lie I think other members thought of it too.They couldn't put themselves in V's shoes as 1.They lacked perspective of a male who was attracted to another male. 2.They lacked serious relationship experience in general.From 2019 things changed.You can sense that the members really started giving their relationship respect.I wonder how much of it is because they have started their own serious relationships.Jin is 30,RM Hobi Suga all are way older than Vminkook.Before they used to tease Taekook and thought of them as chaotic duo,but how their attitude towards them has changed!

I also think their personal romantic relationships have taught them Tae's emotion was not a silly matter.Some things you cannot help.They also think of JK as a bit immature at times but professionally he is the mature man with excellent work ethic.I think no matter what JK does, he is soft corner of every hyung.

The members now has solo successes.They are secure.But in 2018 they were suddenly getting superstardom and they weren't ready.Insecurity about their abilities made them wary.Jikook getting the forefront most of the time was not appreciated.Jimin's overly caring attitude towards bts's future also I think pissed the members off.At 30 you want to have a relationship.Someone to go back to.You cannot be like work work all the time just slaving away.Jimin would rather taekook focus on their work more.I know each people can choose how they prioritise but taekook didn't want to abide by it. The members too.I know Jimin encouraged JK about his work a lot but there is a difference between JK and Jimin here.JK wants to be independent from BTS.Not that he doesn't want to be in bts.But he wants to sing,dance the way he wants,not because he is told to.JK is trying very very hard to be independent and establish his singer-songwriter profile and he has done a marvellous job with it.In contrast Jimin focuses on BTS as a whole.The problem is BTS is 7.6 more independent mind than Jimin. Idk what is in the future so lets wait and see.

Lisa anon😊

I thought of you when the weverse incident happened. I still stick to my opinion that a Liskook collab will not be well received by the fandoms but if it does happen then I would like to hear less of how shippers are the reason Tae and Jungkook chose not to interact with each other and how BigHit facilitated the awkward co-workers by not showing them in content.

I try not to form any concrete opinions about the BTS dynamics because like I said earlier they don't reveal much and I don't believe what celebrities say in general, they have an image to maintain after all. I do like theorizing even though I call them analysis, I don't consider them true analysis as we don't know or see enough.

I too have noticed Tae being uncomfortable during certain Jikook moments. Another one of the reasons Taekook stand out to me; why care about what your estranged bandmate does and over fanservice, which is scripted, of all things. If I'm not wrong they also rehearse fanservice so it can't be the first time he's seen it unlike the audience unless Jimin is doing impromptu stuff. He could be doing it to tease and genuinely doesn't see the problem, like you said maybe they don't consider it serious because it is different from their own experience with relationships. I don't want to assume anyone had any ulterior motives, I'm sure some of them had reservations about Taekook but not beyond a point-I'm not a fan of the hyungs know/expose Taekook trope. As much drama as Taekook can provide I'm sure they had their own personal problems to deal with.

I think the problem with vminkook and to an extent the rest of BTS is that they started off at the same point of familiarity and Taekook suddenly getting “closer” might also make Jimin and the others feel left out or annoyed. For the same reason, it's possible Jimin doesn't even think he's breeching any boundaries, I don't know if that makes sense. I'm sure and like you also pointed out that most of them seem to have outgrown that.

I admit I haven't paid much attention to Jimin and Yoongi's relationship but everyone I talk to agrees that Yoongi has a soft spot for Jimin and some who have access to Korean side say that Jimin is mostly seen with Jin and Yoongi outside of work and not with Jungkook which is the popular perception. So maybe they were able to move past it. 

I agree about vmin. I never really gave importance to the soulmates/bff narratives. I consider these things part of fanservice and their stage personas much like Tae fanboying over Yoongi and Hobi, Jungkook saying Namjoon is his role model, or even Jungkook saying Tae brought him out of his shell. These might not be outright lies just one-liners that make it easier for fans and for themselves. The interesting thing about vmin is that no one needs much to believe that they're bffs (even vmin shippers seem to ship them as bffs lol) No one cares that they aren't spotted together, no one is out to debunk them because their dynamics changed, and no one is upset even when they interact. Very few popular ships are as non-contentious as vmin. If I had to pick a pair that did "drift apart" then I'd pick vmin (they still seem close all said and done). Pinpointing Jikook as the cause seems too easy. Tae and Jimin seem like people who don't have much in common that could be a reason.

In terms of Tae and Jikook: Apart from the company endorsement which may have inturn promoted Jimin. I don't blame Jimin completely for what Jikook brought about. Jungkook was an equal participant in the early years of Jikook. Again "blame" is a strong word as we don't know the exact status of Taekook's relationship around the time Jikook was being promoted. I don't think Jikook do anything over-the-top, just standard kpop fanservice with the difference being that BTS is hugely popular with an international audience who might not be exposed to this type of fanservice. I don't think Jikook are attracted to each other, nothing they have said or done makes me think otherwise. Tae's discomfort seems to be disproportionate to all the possible reasons we have listed so far and he seems fine when Jungkook does fanservice with other members, he himself seems fine indulging in fanservice. Some say Jungkook isn’t too fond of Taejin fanservice (🤷🏻‍♀️). This seems to be one of those things that can be categorized under Taekook Being Weird lol Maybe we'll find out in a few years.

Lastly, I think Jimin says things the fans want to hear (all of them do). So him "relying" on BTS could just be him pandering to fans and not because of lack of ambition or personal fulfillment.

I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. You can message me or I can answer without posting your ask if you aren’t comfortable sharing controversial opinions.💜

[dekusheroacademia]

The Shippers Survey: Comments

I just wanted to share some comments I got on the survey on ships in BNHA. You can find results and survey here at this link.

First of all, thank you so much to all the nice comments! There were so many sending hearts or thanking me, or being curious about the results, or even wishing me a good day. It was so lovely!!

In this post I would like to share some comments that, in my opinion, were pretty important (in a fandom setting). Many were different variation of these ideas, and many people agreeing with the sentiment.

After, I will just sure some cute short comments that I liked.

And then I will share... the bad ones, with my answer. So the good, the cute and the ugly.

So let's start with the good interesting comments:

THE GOOD

any fandom has their toxic/hateful parts, it’s too simplistic to say “this fandom is x” because it all depends on where you go and who you interact with

I like to keep an open mind and hear everyone’s opinions on why they ship what they do and just their opinions in general. Even if I don’t ship two characters, I can still respect people who do. Unless it is just plain awful/illegal.

I might not like all ships but I will never openly hate on someone for liking one even if they like a ship I hate. I will always respect others opinions.

If you don't like the ship, ignore it

Ship and let ship

I think something people should remember in the fandom is that people are allowed to like/dislike things (character, ship, season, etc) that you personally like/dislike. Somebody’s opinion on fiction shouldn’t be a personal attack/offense. Somebody’s opinion also shouldn’t dictate what your opinion should be too.

I want to articulate about not selecting people who talk about ships or make fun of specific ships. Like it's not up to me how people decide to consume media and what part of it they like to discuss, this case being ships. Which is fine. I believe people can talk about whatever they like or don't like, as long as they're not hurting or attacking anyone and taking it to the extreme. Yes, even the ones that dislike a ship. I agree to the "just talk about what you enjoy" notion to a certain extent, but I also believe that it is human to express what about a piece of art upsets you.

I love MHA, it's amazing! personally, I enjoy being in this fandom, it's mostly creative and funny people! But there's a part that's hateful, toxic, that ridicules other ships, and hates on headcanons, and that's the part that I don't like. We have to respect each other. If someone for example ships HagakurexDeku, which is a rarepair, the fandom shpuld just respect it and not send hate :C or if someone headcanons Denki as a trans man, that should be respected. because headcanons =/= canon

THE CUTE

Nothing in particular, but I'm excited about where ochako's character development and her relationship with deku is going, after the recent chapters.....

Baku squad is the best thing that ever happened to me

Read MHA vigilantes (My answer: I am!! :D)

togas got them anime thighs

I feel as though I shouldn’t have done this, none of my opinions are very strong (My answer: Absolutely not! Every opinion is important in polls and surveys. This is just a silly one, about anime, but even outside fun stuff, in real life surveys and polls, each person counts!)

THE UGLY

There are some comments now that I would like to answer to.

- Anon Comment: Fans need to keep away their delusion and headcanons away from the canon manga.

I think this is very interesting. It looks like some fans seem to consider negative the "thoughts" of something. Just the existence of something is immediately put into the toxic category. Any fandom is built on canon, and people have the most fun when they have the freedom to interpret what they see in it (ex. literature analysis, anyone?). Headcanons is not a bad word, but delusions is, and I think this comment was both petty and not realizing that toxicity is in action, not in "having a thought/enjoying a fandom in a certain way".

- Anon comment: You kind of associate the ship with its fans, so if the fans are toxic, you end up disliking the ship

Nothing wrong with this comment, just - I really feel you! I do that too for many ships. Some ships' spaces are difficult for me to navigate because of that.

- Anon comment: I HATE when people make comedic MHA posts that are supposed to be general (MHA fake quotes, MHA as vines, etc.), but constantly include non-canon ships. I came here to laugh at actual MHA, not your TodoDeku and KiriBaku fanfiction.

Here is another comment where the toxicity comes from the action of sharing and enjoying something, instead of actually doing something toxic. I think it is pretty telling of your own... attitude, if you feel that something bad comes from people harmlessly enjoying something you don't like. You should ask yourself why.

- Anon comment: I don’t like when gay shippers ship weird things and then other people hate on the anime because of the toxic and gay shippers

"Weird thing"? If you think being gay or shipping something gay is weird, congrats, you're the toxic one.

- Anon comment: Don't harass hirokoshi to make your ship Canon :)

Don't worry. This never actually happened, it was mad up by a youtuber to hate on shippers. Don't spread misinformation without double checking where it comes from.

- Anon comment: Not homophobic or anything. Just the gay ships don’t feel right.

Congrats, you are the reason why every time someone tells me they have been accused of being homophobic but they are not... I start to wonder if they actually are homophobic.

If something same sex doesn't "feel right"... you're homophobic.

- Anon comment: Your toxic fan question is so loaded, what is the point of that question?

That's a great question! The toxic question was there mainly to see what everyone perceives the fandom as and if there is an overall negative attitude towards it or positive attitude towards it!

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 1-The Strange Stranger from China/Enter Ranma

Alright, time to really start this thing off with the first episode, “The Strange Stranger from China”. I...don’t remember that being the name of the episode, but it has been about a decade since I last saw the series.

I feel like I remember what happens in this episode pretty well, it should just be an introduction to (some) of the main cast and kick of the dynamic between the two leads, but I could be wrong. Let’s see after the break, once I have rewatched the episode!

Okay first things first, the Opening. Musically, this song has always sat in a weird spot for me. It’s really freaking catchy and memorable, but it’s also kind of annoying? Like, there is a fine line between a great ear worm and a song you actually want out of your head, and “Don’t Make Me Wild Like You” by Etsuki Nishio is like right on that line. There are parts of it I think are adorably entertaining, like the whistle, and other parts where I kind of cringe. It’s not my favorite opening song of the series, but it’s not bad either.

Visually, it is Okay with a capital O. There is a reason Mother’s Basement has never done a feature on it. It is mostly just the cast running in place over pastel backgrounds, and some of them have the coloring that’s very different from what would end up being used later on once they appeared. That said, I have to give infinite props to Akane’s little snapping dance, because it is freaking adorable and I love ever frame of it.

Also, the title. What I said it was earlier, “The Strange Stranger from China”, was what Hulu has it listed as, and from what I can tell that was what it was listed as on DVD. From what I can tell from my expert translator, Mr. Google Translate, it’s kind of similar to the Japanese title, which says it is “He's from China!! A little weird!!”. But in the episode, the dub says the episode is “Here’s Ranma” which is what I remember it being. So...yeah. Apparently at some point they wanted to retcon the english title of the episode, but never changed the dub track to match.

So, what’s the episode about? Hell, what is this show even about? Well, the episode starts with a feminine person with red hair fighting a panda in the street, arguing about being betrothed to someone against their will, while onlookers watch in confusion. Then the panda knocks them out, and carries them away. Cut to the Tendo family estate, where Soun Tendo has received news that Ranma Saotome and his father Genma will soon be coming, and gathers his three daughters to explain the situation.

You see, in addition to being fairly well off in general, Soun is the owner of a dojo for the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, and his best friend and fellow practitioner of the same art, Genma, made an agreement years ago to bind their families in marriage. Thus, Ranma will marry one of Soun’s three daughters. From oldest to youngest, they’re Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane, who is the only one of the three to practice martial arts herself. When Soun reveals he has never met Ranma and has no idea what he’s like, his daughters are kind of pissed that their dad promised one of them would have to marry him, which is pretty fair.

Instead of the middle-aged man and teenage boy they expected, the red-head from before is dragged in by the panda, and they explain they are Ranma Saotome, to everyone’s confusion. Based on their body, everyone assumes Ranma is a girl, and Ranma and Akane actually become fast friends, sparring in the dojo. But after Akane has a surprise bathroom encounter with a very masculine Ranma that involves him seeing her naked, and vice versa, they learn the truth.

See, Ranma and his dad were in China training when they visited Jusenkyo, a seeming hot spring tourist trap, only to each fall in a different spring while practicing fighting there. Turns out all the water there is cursed because things kept drowning in the springs a long time ago. Now they’re both cursed. They each transform when cold water is poured on their heads, into a feminine body for Ranma and a panda’s body for Genma, and turned back with hot water.

Once that’s all out in the open, everyone except Ranma and Akane thinks that, since Akane doesn’t like guys, she would be the perfect fiance for Ranma since he is ‘half girl’. Akane is still upset with Ranma, both because she has a lot of issues with men and feels betrayed that Ranma never said he was really a guy, and also because he saw her naked. Ranma claims it isn’t a problem because he can look at himself anytime and he’s more stacked, and the dynamic of Akane hitting Ranma for the asshole-ish things he says is born.

So, lots of stuff to talk about for an analysis. I think I’ll go with a compliment sandwich, bundling up what was rough for me around what I liked or thought was particularly interesting. To start with, aside from a few places where there was clear corner-cutting of reusing animation and kind of needless flashbacks, I liked the animation. The original mangka, Rumiko Takahashi, has really great character designs, and I love seeing her personal art style brought to life by the animation of Studio DEEN, a group I am not super used to complimenting.

In terms of plot, I think it’s a pretty strong opener. It introduces a lot of the main cast, even if some of them are depicted fairly broadly and not shown as the characters they’d one day become. This might sound odd, but I also really appreciate how female nudity is handled. Maybe it’s just because, if anything, the way most anime handle ‘fanservice’ has just gotten more and more over-the-top as the years go by, but the way Ranma 1/2 handled it feels like a breath of breath air.

See, in most modern anime, full blown nudity of either sex is never shown. Instead, feminine characters’ bodies are incredibly sexualized, with lots of emphasis put on the breasts and other body parts, without ever giving the full game away. By contrast, this episode contained several example of the feminine form shown completely nude, but it wasn’t treated like some mind-blowingly sexy thing, it was just kinda shown without much fanfare. I’ve currently watching the original Mobile Suit Gundam, which came out around the same time, and it actually does the same thing a few times. It feels more similar to how nudity is treated in, say, paintings or sculpture, more tasteful, and I just kind of think it’s neat.

What is definitely less neat...is the music. If I had to throw out right away my biggest gripe with the show, it is the OST. Not all of it, there are a few bits near the end of the episode that are actually really good, they’re the kind of music I remember being in the show. But the more silly, goofy tracks more common in the first half of the episode really don’t work for me. They remind me of the generic ‘Silly Person’ theme songs from the Ace Attorney games, and maybe it’s just me, but those kind of background music always take me out of the experience and grate on my nerves. That’s actually my only big issue so far, but it did make both times watching this episode genuinely hard to get through at points, it annoys me that much.

Now, I will say right now that I will be referring to Ranma using male pronouns regardless of whether he’s in his cursed form or not, and I won’t call him a ‘girl’ or a ‘woman’. If you didn’t know, sex and gender are not actually the same thing, so even if his physical sex is changed to fit someone who would be Assigned Female at Birth, his internal gender doesn’t change. No matter how Ranma looks, he thinks of himself as a man.

Corollary to that, it was this time going through this episode that I realized something that I’d never thought of before: Ranma’s experience in this episode, and in some ways throughout the series, is actually a lot like that of a transgender man’s. Ranma shows up at the Tendo’s estate and they all see him as a girl because of how he looks, only for him to reveal his actual gender. When he’s hanging out with Akane, and she thinks he is actually a girl, and they’re getting along, there’s a part where she tells Ranma that she’s so happy he turned out not to be a boy, and you can see Ranma’s facial expression, he doesn’t want to hear that. Clearly, yes, you can read that as Ranma wincing at the fact that she’s in for a rude awakening later on, but it also gives off the same kind of vibes closeted trans people experience when they’re misgendered by people they know.

In fact, when you think about how his curse really affects Ranma, when he’s in his cursed form, he effectively is a trans man. He still identifies as a guy, but his body has been changed so that it no longer represents who he sees himself as inside. It just felt like an interesting real life parallel in this episode, and I’m interested to see if I feel it shows up more later on. But for now, let’s move on to character spotlight.

For the first spotlight, I thought I should center on the titular Ranma Saotome. Obviously this won’t be the only time I focus on him, he’ll get more spotlight pieces as the series develops, so right now I’ll try to focus on the Ranma we see in just this one episode.

To start with, who plays him? Well, that’s a funny story, actually. Not only does Ranma, due to his curse, have different voice actors in each language for his cursed and non-cursed forms, but in the English Dub they recast his masculine body’s voice actor after three seasons. I’ll talk about that voice actor, Richard Ian Cox, once we get to when he actually becomes Ranma’s voice actor, so let’s start with the masculine form’s VA’s.

Now, the Ranma I first met when I was a teenager was Sarah Strange, a Canadian Voice Actress who is not known for much else. Her Ranma has mostly been the one I think of in my head when I think of the character. A little nasaly, her take on the character is very average joe, very ordinary high schooler. There’s some brashness to it, sure, but it’s actually kind of a subdued version of Ranma. Looking at it now, I actually feel like both of Ranma’s masculine form’s voice actors don’t quite fit the character, but for opposite reasons. Sarah Strange’s voice is so normal sounding that it dampens the more extreme parts of his character, Ranma at his most arrogant and egotistical. Like I said, I’ll cover Richard Ian Cox when he takes over the role, but I’ll say in brief here that his version of Ranma is the polar opposite, too over-the-top and aggressive.

In contrast, his original Japanese voice actor, Kappei Yamaguchi, feels a lot better to me, at least so far. Again, this is basically my first time seeing the series subbed, so I’ve only heard him for one episode as opposed to the 3 seasons I had with Sarah Strange. Still, Kappei’s take on Ranma is just as normal sounding as Sarah’s, but I felt like I could already hear a little more of the more emotional side of the character I felt Sarah never quite managed to capture properly.

As for Ranma’s cursed form, I was kind of confused, because the voice I was hearing in the episode wasn’t the one I remembered. For a while, I thought she must have just grown into the role over time, but it turns out that is not the case. For the first six episodes of the show, he was played by Brigitta Dau, who was then replaced with Venus Terzo. Now, I did not know this until literally right now, as I am typing this, so I feel like I don’t actually have much to say about Brigitta. Her performance felt a little off to me, but not bad. Venus, though, really owns the role once she takes over. Her performance as red-headed Ranma has always felt perfect for me, selling the idea that this is a teenage guy in a feminine body, and she’s really good at selling Ranma at his most dickish.

In Japanese, this form of Ranma is played by Megumi Hayashibara. Now, I would never ever say she did a bad job, but from what I saw of her in this episode, I don’t know how much I actually like her as Ranma. Maybe it’s just the pitch of her voice, but she doesn’t sound quite to me like a guy in a feminine body, but just like a very emotional teenage girl. Of course, I do not speak Japanese and it’s a lot harder to really judge acting in a language you don’t understand, so I could be spouting utter nonsense, but that’s my thoughts on her as of this episode.

In terms of Ranma’s character, they don’t really give much away with this first episode. We know he’s a good fighter, has a difficult relationship with his father, doesn’t like his curse and wants to get rid of it, and has enough stubbornness to butt heads with Akane and stand his ground. I also felt like they did a good job telegraphing Ranma’s general fighting style during his sparring match with Akane. He spent the entire time dodging her attacks with incredible ease, which emphasizes his speed. Generally speaking, I’d describe Ranma as a very agile, thinking-on-his feet kind of fighter, but that’s something we’ll see more of in later episodes. I was going to do a big thing about his personality, but I feel like anything more than what I’ve said hasn’t really borne out in what we have, so I’ll wait for another time to do that.

Like I said in my Introduction post, I will be ranking each episode as they appear, and as this is the only one I’ve seen in the rewatch, it is both the best one and the worst one so far. The real question is how it will stand up next time, when I’ll be able to compare it to the second episode, “School is No Place for Horsing Around”. See you then!

[miraculouscontent]

“favorite salt blogger” eXcUse yOu

But yes, I am absolutely up for another Alya roast.

[All’s Fair in Love and Lore]

First things first, I want to reiterate something I brought up a long time ago (back when I talked about “Mayura”), which is my relationship with lore and how it affects my opinion of an episode.

I see lore as a seasoning, not as a main course, so it’s rather difficult to get me riled up over details about lore. I mean, a lot of people complained about Mayura’s power, for example, but I was not one of those people. The core of my critique and analysis lie in character interactions and plot details, not lore. If the lore is good, great, but if it’s lackluster/bad, I’m not as likely to hammer away at it compared to say, someone like Alya (we’ll get to her in a moment, I promise).

Anyway, I’m gonna be honest in saying that I wasn’t expecting Fu’s foe to be a sentimonster of his own creation. I mean, we’d known for a long time that the destruction of the temple was caused by something that Fu did, but we didn’t know what until now.

As for the reasoning itself, I’m mostly on board because Fu was like, a dumb teenager who didn’t even want to be a guardian, so the fact that it was a silly mistake makes sense to me. My biggest gripe is honestly just that they didn’t clarify how Fu dropped his staff and then couldn’t go after it. Is it going to be revealed after all this time that the man can’t swim?

(that problem might’ve been solved had the flashbacks shown less and been more vague visually; same applies to him talking about losing the grimoire and peacock+butterfly)

I’m aware that a lot of people thought that there’d be more build-up/tension from Fu making a mistake that literally destroyed a whole temple, and I think the reason for that is that we, as an audience, weren’t told that it was such a small mistake. When we see the temple being destroyed and Fu looking on with regret, it makes the situation seem really big and important, like Fu trusted someone he shouldn’t have and that someone was a big bad of some kind.

I can’t blame people for being disappointed, but considering that the temple and all its residents were brought back in the end, I’m glad it was just a foolish mistake made by a salty hungry teen that could simply be reversed, because Fu didn’t deserve to live his entire life feeling guilty over it. Like, yeah, there are some obvious things that should probably be addressed (i.e: the fact that these residents have been gone for almost 200 years) but eh, details, I don’t really care that much.

Though, I guess we know why Wang “bicycle away from all problems” Fu isn’t that great as a guardian now; he’s had a few years of training at best. It doesn’t excuse everything he did and I wish it was more of a plot point but still.

Plus, him being like, “yeah, forget how the actual guardians tried to teach me because clearly that did nothing for me mentally,” was very amusing to me and also, yeah, I don’t think that starving teens for 24 hours who don’t even want this darn job is a great idea either.

That said, I do feel like this episode kind of has the “Ladybug” problem where they’re focusing on two characters at once, and in both “Ladybug” (an episode that should be Marinette-centric) and “Feast” (an episode that should be Fu-centric), that second character is Nathalie/Mayura. I don’t technically have an issue with Nathalie getting focus in a narrative sense (though, am I the only one who thinks that the foreshadowing in “Ladybug” over Emilie using the peacock is pointless now? I felt like Adrien saying “the same thing happened to my mom” is enough.), but when Fu already doesn’t get a lot of focus outside of plot-centric episodes (technically Marinette doesn’t either but she has screen time), I feel bad for the guy. I think Nathalie’s plot points could’ve been used better in an episode like “Miraculer” since Chloe already gets more than enough focus.

Granted, if this episode was a two-parter, I would’ve been all for Nathalie getting focus because this episode is about a sentimonster, so it makes sense, but I don’t think the episode was able to touch on both topics in full in the time it had, and it’s just weird in general that this season is a downgrade from Season 2 in that respect, where Season 2 had multiple two-parters (one of them technically being a three-parter) whereas Season 3 only has one two-parter. I believe I’ve talked about it before, but now it’s two episodes that could’ve been worthy of being two-parters (three if counting “Miraculer” but I was reaching on that one), so it’s even more noticeable than before.

What I do like about the episode is the Marinette and Fu interactions along with Marinette and Adrien being heroic civilians. It was also interesting to see Wayzz lecturing Fu about how Fu was making a mistake because it’s nice seeing Wayzz have more input on the matter.

Also, Plagg playing piano with Adrien was good. I guess Sadrien was inevitable since Nathalie’s sick but thank goodness it’s brief.

...you know what I didn’t like though?

[Abandon Hope, Alya Who Enter Here]

Gosh darn--Alya, I swear, I leave you alone for one episode (for the most part) and I guess you didn’t like that or something because DANG.

Now, look, I totally get Alya being in pursuit of more information. In fact, I'd be in full support if we got to see more of Alya coming up with in-depth theories, whether they're true or not.

The problem is that Alya has no tact when doing so, and this brings me all the way back to "Oblivio" when I rambled about the fact that Alya took that photo and posted it online without Ladybug's permission, despite Ladybug having trusted her, given her an interview, and gave her a miraculous on multiple occasions.

And I do not believe for one second that Alya ever gave up on figuring out Ladybug's identity here. She clearly gets nervous when Marinette calls her out for it, and I don't see "figuring out Hawk Moth's identity" as her only goal.

Her actions here are particularly insulting because of the severity in what she's doing. Either Alya believes that her theory isn't accurate and that's why it's okay to post it, or she's just that reckless in what she's doing.

Considering her track record, I'm inclined to go with the latter.

Furthermore, Alya explaining all of these things when she already has a video about it on her blog is dumb for two reasons. One is that she's presuming that neither Marinette nor Alix follow her blog (at the very least, she presumed that Marinette did back in "Dark Cupid"), and two, she put her blog first and her friends second when prioritizing who should know. It just seems superfluous for her to tell her friends this information when she's already made a video about it (at least run it by them for a quality check first jfjisoshfhf).

And speaking of prioritizing who should know, Ladybug should know and Alya doesn’t even run it by her first either. Presuming that “The Mime” happened by now (basically impossible for it to have not), Marinette has already given Alya an interview with Ladybug, so Marinette should be the first one that Alya goes to so she can be like, “Hey, can you get a hold of Ladybug again so I can ask if this is accurate/helpful?”

I dread what would’ve happened had Alya gotten her hands on the grimoire somehow. Every single page would’ve been posted to the Ladyblog without a single thought and the mere idea of that is horrifying.

The fact that Alya mentions Hawk Moth yet doesn’t even realize the gravity of what she’s doing is ridiculous, and going further to have Marinette apologize to Fu for giving Alya the fox miraculous but not having it be directly addressed (i.e: not having Ladybug visit Alya to talk about privacy; again, having this be a two-parter would’ve been nice) while Alya clearly learns nothing by the end of the episode is just--

it’s dumb. Alya wouldn’t even have needed to get a talking to by Ladybug anyway if the episode had just had Alya see the crushed/missing statue at the museum and made the connection that, “oh, I posted a video about this statue and now the statue is gone and a terrible monster hungry for miraculouses with that same symbol on its head showed up not too long after HMMMMMMM.” The episode claims that Alya is a great journalist only to then not have her connect the dots because... like, tunnel vision, I guess???

And that wouldn’t be a problem if it were just addressed, but instead, now we have yet another female character who has their hero status brought into question, leaving Ladybug as the only female who is undoubtedly trustworthy (not counting Alix, the eventual bunny holder).

It’s so baffling to me that the episode goes out of its way to bring up the issue of what Alya’s doing and why it’s dangerous, only to then not discuss it further. I don’t know if the episode went through rewrites that ended with the scene cut out, but that scene would’ve been important unlike... say, Alya getting on Marinette’s case for staring at Adrien (and the award for the most irrelevant scene in this episode goes to--).

I mean, despite what I said about the episode itself and it needing more time in general, the episode can’t spend time on pointing out that Alya has made a mistake only to then not take the time to address it and instead show that Alya hasn’t learned anything.

Thus, given “Reflekdoll” and now this, we see that even if Alya is clearly at fault and/or needs to learn a lesson, regardless of whether the writers are aware of it/point it out or not, nothing will come of it.

*sigh*