#My eyes keep tearing up mid song and the notes starts to blur together

[uhhhitsgray]

Desire Chapter Ⅰ

Hellooo! Just stopping by to make a quick note about the story before the first chapter. Internal dialog with readers self will always be in italics to make it more clear, I talk to myself a lot in real life so the reader will do the same, lol. I have it stuck in my head that AU Eren would have tattoos and may or may not paint his nails, so there will probably be mention to that. There will also be self harm and abuse references, just references, in this story and I'll make sure to put a warning in the chapter title, then the type of trigger warning in the first line of the work. Thanks for reading!

~ Eventual smut, bit of a slow burner. Modern setting time skip, reader and Eren are mid 20s ~

~ Pairing Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

"You always this much of an asshole?!" You shout at Eren as tears stream down your face, your heart breaking into a million pieces.

"I guess so." His green eyes break away from you as he turns around and starts walking away.

"Eren! … Eren!" You scream, your vocal cords burning, your vision blurred as tears keep forming.

'Fuck, what is even happening right now?' You think to yourself.

"Eren.." You whisper to yourself as you see the man you love walking away from you.

↳ Table of Contents ↳ Chapter Ⅱ: Emotional Rollercoaster

Chapter Ⅰ: We're Just Friends

Your head bops to the beat of the music that is far too loud in your headset as you wait for your best friend Armin to join your discord voice channel. You’re mouthing the words to Desire by Meg Myers for two reason - one; the song is good, and is a secret wish to fuck someone to this song, and two; you can’t sing very well.

You’re holding your pen to your mouth using it as a mic.

Baby, I wanna touch you

I wanna breathe into your well

See, I gotta hunt you

Though if you weren’t waiting for Armin to join you, you’d have no care in the world but you didn’t want Armin to go deaf because of you. 

You hear the ding as Armin joins your discord, and you pause your music. 

“Heelloooo?” You say as this is the normal way you greet your friends through discord, your hands fidgeting with a pen you were just using as a mic waiting for your friend to respond. 

“Heeloooo?” Armin says back. 

“Arminnnn! How are you, my guy?” You smile to yourself. It’s been awhile since you’ve spoken to your best friend. You and Armin were childhood friends, and though he moved a few states away for a job opportunity you two stayed close. You didn’t want the friendship to dissipate just because he moved away, once he was settled into his new place you two set up a good schedule to have weekly calls in discord together. Usually on Friday nights as it was easier for both of you, but for the past few weeks your guys’ schedules weren’t lining up causing your usual Friday’s to be canceled. Normal, annoying adult things getting in the way.  

“I’ve been good! Just busy with work, and all that. How have you been?”

"Same honestly. Just work, work and more work." You smile to yourself, still fidgeting with the pen continuing, "How's the job been, big shot?" 

After college Armin got offered a job as a marine biologist and got to work on the water a lot, which he always had a love for. You were happy for your friend. 

He laughs into the mic, "Man, it's been so good. Like I knew I'd like the job, but it blew my expectations out of the water honestly. No pun intended there." He lets out a small laugh again, continuing, "How about you? How's your job been going? Any new projects?" 

You and Armin both attended the same college together, but ended up taking didn't classes, you majoring in web design. Your job allowed for you to live anywhere and work from home, while Armin had to move. You almost wondered why you didn't go with your friend, but you still had commitments in your home town. 

"Yeah, we just took on a project for a big company we work with. We're pretty much doing a complete makeover of their website so it's gonna be a lot. We just started this week, but so far so good. Crossing my fingers it stays that way." You cross your fingers in front of your face. 

Of course I’d fucking do that. 

Good god girl. 

You two continued on for a few hours just catching up with life, talking about nothing specific as the conversation flowed between you two. 

Fuck, I have missed this so much. I've missed him so much. 

"How are you and Annie doing?" Armin and Annie had been together since your guys' first year of college and were going strong.

"It's been good, the distance has been a little hard but she'll be moving here with me soon so I think it'll be a lot better when she gets here." 

"Yeah, long distance can be tough I'm sure." You frown to yourself feeling bad for your friend, continuing, "But I'm glad you guys have stuck it out. It’ll be worth it once she moves out there with you." 

"Yeah I agree honestly. You and her should make a trip out here sometime, I think it'd be fun." You can hear the smile in his tone.

You let out a huff, "So I can be the third wheel? Come on Armin." You laugh. "I do want to come out and visit though, you know I'd come out either way." You reassure your friend. 

"Just means you need to get yourself a man then." He laughs, you can hear him typing something on his keyboard in the background. 

You sigh, "Yeah but the men here aren't that great honestly. You've seen them." 

Armin lets out a low laugh, "I have indeed, but I have someone I want to introduce you too. Doesn't need to be anything more, more of a I'd like to introduce him to our small friend group. He just started at my job, and we get along really well. I think you'd like him." 

You smile, "Yeah I'd be down to meet him whenever." 

You hear more typing in the background, "He said he's busy tonight, unfortunately, so maybe tomorrow if everyone is free." 

You pause before answering, wondering if you had anything to do tomorrow. 

Do laundry, dishes. 

Clean the apartment up cause this place is looking a mess. 

Uhh.. anything else? 

I don't think so?

"I've got a few things to do tomorrow just around the place but I'll be down for whenever." 

"Awesome, I'll reach out to him and then let you know. It is getting late though, so I'll probably let you know tomorrow, sound good?" 

You look at the bottom right of your monitor, 11:30PM, yeah it was getting late and you're pretty tired after an exhausting week. 

"Sounds good, just one quick question though." You pause waiting for Armin to say something but he takes too long to answer so you continue, "Does this coworker have a name? Orrrrrrr?" You laugh. 

Armin lets out a small laugh, "Yeah, sorry. His name is Aaron with an E." 

You raise an eyebrow to yourself. 

Aaron with an E? What.. 

Almost like Armin read your mind, "It's not spelled like normal Aaron, it's spelled e r e n." 

Makes sense.

You nod your head to yourself understanding what he's saying, "Gotcha. Eren. I like that spelling. Thank you for clearing that up cause I would have completely spelled his name wrong and Aaron with an E just confused me." You let out a laugh. 

Armin laughs back, "I figured so. But, imma head out for the night. I'll let you know about tomorrow." 

You two said your goodnights and you left the voice channel. You sigh as you turn your computer off, almost like a loneliness settling over you after telling your friend bye. 

You had other friends, sure. But sometimes you just couldn't help but feel lonely with your best friend now being almost ten hours away. Of course you had Hitch and Annie, but the person who has been through the most with you was farther away now. 

Fucking dude had to leave for his job. Maaannnn. I should have left when I had the chance.

You walk into your kitchen, running your finger across the cold countertop stopping at the fridge for a drink before walking back to your bedroom getting ready for bed. 

As you settle in your bed for the night you're scrolling through tiktoks when your phone goes off, displaying a discord message from Armin. 

Armin: Eren said he's free tomorrow evening if we all wanna hang out in discord for a while :) 

You: sounds good, you know I'll be there. What time?? 

Armin's discord status went offline after he sent that message, assuming he wouldn't respond, you put your phone on the charger and drifted off to sleep.

You're woken up suddenly from loud rumbling outside of your window, your hands coming up to your eyes to rub the sleep away. 

You sit up looking out your window. It's gray out, heavy rain filled clouds spread across the sky as rumbles are heard along with rain hitting your window. It's almost calming. 

"Good morning Beanie." You smile as your cat lays at the foot of your bed sleeping, paying you or the storms no mind. 

You reach over grabbing your phone off the nightstand checking the time. "Hhhmm, it's only nine. Nice." Though you wouldn't complain if you were able to sleep in, sleeping in sometimes made you feel like the day was being wasted away, especially since you had stuff to do before this evening. 

You get out of bed, stretching and fixing your blankets making sure to not disturb Beanie who has made no efforts to move since you woke up. 

You make your way into the kitchen, starting your morning cup of coffee as you load the dishwasher, playing your favorite podcast over the Alexa in your kitchen. 

As you finish putting your last dish away, you hear for phone ding. Pressing the power button on your phone to turn the screen on, you smile at your lock screen as it's a picture of Beanie sleeping on your couch as the sun rays kept her warm. You see a discord message from Armin, you click on the notification and unlocking your phone. 

Armin: How does 7pm sound? 

You: sounds good to me, you can invite him to the server whenever you want btw 

You lock your phone, setting it on the counter as you start cleaning up the kitchen. Your mind wanders elsewhere as you mindlessly clean up. 

Hopefully he's nice. 

He's gotta be nice if he's friends with Armin, right? 

Duh. 

Armin wouldn't be friends with an asshole. 

Lowkey a little nervous. 

Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine. 

Meeting new people was never really in your comfort zone. You found it hard to spark up the "meeting new people" type of conversation, the "what do you do for work?" Or, "where did you go to school?" Shit like that. Obviously it's good to know those things, but you enjoyed conversations that were on a deeper level. 

Tell me your hobbies, your favorite band, what you do in your free time. Stuff that tells me about who I'm trying to get to know, not just the stale same ol' same ol' questions. 

You sigh to yourself hoping Eren was a bit more interesting than just wanting to answer all those boring questions or even worse, ask them to you. 

Can you say …. 

B to the O to the R to the ing 

Boring.

The day went rather quickly as you kept finding more things to do around your apartment, and before you knew it it was dinner time. 

"Beanie, dinner time baby!" You weren't too sure where your cat had been most of the day but you knew they'd come around once they heard food hitting their food bowl. 

You drop the food into the bowl, the hard pieces hitting the bowl, "Right on queue." As you see Beanie sprinting from your bedroom into the kitchen as if they haven't eaten in days. 

Typical cat behavior 

Good god 

You laugh out loud to yourself as you open the fridge pulling out your ingredients for dinner. 

"Alexa, play my feels good playlist on spotify." You say to Alexa, as she starts playing songs from that playlist. 

You spend your dinner making time singing into your spoon in between stirring the food that was cooking on your stove. Getting way into it and losing track of time.  

"Ah, shit." You say to yourself looking at the time on your stove. Seven right on the dot, and you still had just a few minutes left of cooking. You grab your phone off the counter, opening discord to message Armin. 

You: don't be mad but I mmaayyyyyyy or may not have misjudged how long it'll take for me to cook dinner. I'll be there in 5 promise 

You leave your phone on as you do one last stir of the food, and grab a plate from the cabinet next to you. As you're dumping your food onto the plate you hear your phone go off. 

You mumble the message Armin sent you, rolling your eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I'm comingggggggg." You say to yourself as if he could hear you. 

You set your plate down at your desk and power on your pc. Grabbing your favorite blanket, sitting down and putting your headset on. 

You hear the ding in your headset as you join the discord, it's silent but you notice Eren is muted. 

"Uh, hello?" You say stuffing a fork full of food in your mouth. 

"Oh hey, didn't hear you join, sorry. Was watching a video. How'd your dinner turn out?" Armin asked. 

Your mouth is still half full of food, covering your mouth, "It's yummy." You let out a small laugh. 

You hear Armin laughing as well. 

"What’d you make?" Your eyes shoot up to look at your screen, you hadn't even noticed Eren unmuted himself, his voice almost surprising you. 

"Ope." You laugh at your own surprise. "I made potatoes, peppers, sausage and crack two eggs in it. It's like breakfast food but for dinner I guess." You giggle again. 

"It's really good, honestly." Armin chimes in. 

Eren lets out an almost nervous sounding laugh, "It sounds pretty good." 

Okay, well at least it's not just you who seems nervous. 

"So Eren," Armin starts, "This is my best friend (y/n), we've been buds since we were kids." Armin introduces you to Eren. 

You can hear the smile in Armin's tone, "And (y/n) this is Eren." 

After introductions, conversation actually came easily between the three of you. There were a few questions of Eren asking about your job, but they seemed more like curiosity than anything. You happily filled him in on what you did and how you loved to work from home to which he said he was jealous of. One reason being the convenience and secondly because that meant he could travel. 

You smile to yourself, "So you like to travel then?" 

"If I had more time and money, I'd love to travel more. When I was younger my family did travel a good bit but now not so much." His voice almost sounded sad as he ended his sentence. 

Family talk with Eren is a sensitive subject. 

Got it. 

"But," He continued, "Once I get stable at this job, I will one hundred percent be traveling more." 

"Didn't you tell me you wanted to go to Germany one day?" Armin chimes in, he's been surprisingly quiet after the introductions but you figured he didn't want to interrupt the easy flowing conversation between you and Eren. 

He let out a small laugh, "Yeah I do. My family is mostly German, and figured going there for that reason alone would be cool." 

You nod your head to yourself, "That'd be sick honestly. I hope you get to do that!" Excitement filling your voice. 

"Yeah, me too." He lets out a relieved sigh. 

All three of you ended up staying in the voice channel for several more hours. Sharing stories of you and Armin growing up, stuff that happened in high school, Eren sharing the same about himself. 

You could confidently say this was the smoothest time you've had meeting someone in years. Usually you were too awkward, or didn't know how to fill the dead air. But with Eren, it just seemed to flow between you two. You liked that about him. 

After saying your goodbyes, you leave your office feeling almost warm and fuzzy on the inside. Relieved that it wasn't the same feeling of loneliness that washed over you yesterday after you and Armin chatted. 

You smiled to yourself as you got your glass of water for the evening, and putting your dirty plate into the sink being left for the morning. 

After finishing your nightly routine, you snuggle into your sheets turning on your phone screen. To your surprise you had a discord friend request from Eren and a message from him. 

After accepting the friend request you got into his messages, 

Eren: Hey, just wanted to say thank you for this evening. I know I barely know you, but tonight with you and Armin was really nice and well needed for me. 

Eren: hopefully that's not too weird to say.. 

Eren: oh well, lol. Thank you again, hope we can chat soon :) 

Your heart feels warm and fuzzy again as you smile at his messages. You were honestly glad you weren't the only one who felt that way. 

You start typing out your response to him. 

You: hhiiiii! not weird at all to say so please don't think that. It was super nice, and well needed for me too! I'm sure we'll talk soon :) 

Do I tell him goodnight? 

Is that too weird? He didn't even say goodnight. 

Your fingers are hovering over your keyboard. 

Girl, he didn't even say it. What are you doing? 

Your fingers clearly doing whatever they want as they move across your keyboard on your phone. 

You: goodnight eren :) 

Ope.

You already hit send too late now. 

I mean you could delete it. 

Should I? 

Nah, don't be a pussy. 

Your phone vibrates in your hand.  Eren: goodnight (y/n) :)

The next morning you’re woken up to your alarm, resulting in your groaning out in tiredness as you grab your phone off the nightstand turning the alarm off. Once the alarm is off you’re looking around your room just taking in the peace and quiet. The sun's warm morning rays hitting your bedroom casting a pretty light throughout the room. 

You reach back over to your nightstand, grabbing your phone and holding it in front of your face. You see a message from Hitch, and a discord message from Armin as well. You unlock your phone, rubbing your eye with one hand as you open your text messages to see what Hitch said. 

You met Hitch in high school, and you two have stayed friends since. She was a ride or die type of friend, always there when you needed her - being a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to whenever you needed it. Of course you did the same for her. 

Bestiiieee: goodmorning beautiful. What are you up to today? Wanna do something? 

You: good morning my beautiful friend. i should be pretty free today.

Bestiiieee: I just wanted to get some lunch with you if thats cool, ive got some stuff to do today so i can’t spend my whole day with you :( 

You laugh at her response.

You: how daaareee you not spend every waking moment today with me! :( but i’d be down for some lunch! 

You close out of your message and open discord to read Armin’s message.  

Armin: good morning! 

Armin: so what’d you think of eren? You two seemed to have hit it off pretty well

What could you say, he made you feel comfortable. 

You: good morning :) yeah i liked eren, he seems really nice. Hopefully he wants to stay in the friend group 

You go back to your text messages and finish making plans with Hitch, after getting out of bed and getting your morning coffee. You sip on your hot drink looking out your window that looks down to the streets below, the sun still shining nicely through that window washing over you with warmth. You smile, looking down and seeing Beanie sitting on the floor next to your feet looking out the window. 

“You like the sun too, huh?” You reach out and pet her head as she starts purring, standing up and rubbing her sides against your legs. You sit on the floor with Beanie as you continue to drink your coffee and keep petting her. 

“I love you so much you preeettttyyy baby.” You kiss her head, getting up off the floor, setting the cup down on your countertop and heading into the bathroom to get ready for your lunch with Hitch.

“So, how are you and Marlo doing?” You give a small smirk to your friend who sits across the table from you. 

Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink at the mention of her boyfriend. She smiles, “Ugh! Babes - we’ve been so good.” A big smile still on her face as she continues, “He’s just so sweet, and kind to me. Treats me how I should be treated, and it’s a nice change.” 

You smile at her, taking a sip of your drink before speaking, “Well Hitch, I’m really glad to hear that honestly. If anyone deserves it, it would be you.” You point your fork at her. 

She raises an eyebrow letting out a small hum, “Yeah, but you do too girl. When was the last time you had someone? Hm?” 

She was right, it had been way too long since your last relationship. But your last relationship wasn’t a good one, he was mentally abusive to you, made you feel worthless - like you didn’t matter to anyone and it put you in a dark place. Though you got out safely, he still left his effect on your brain and your confidence in yourself. You knew it was stupid to let that idiot still have this hold on you, but healing and forgetting about that asshole was easier said than done. It was true that it kept you from having any form of romantic relationship, just too hard for you to let down those walls and to share yourself with people. 

Your eyes look down at your food, picking your fork through your food. “I know, just has been hard since Charley. I’m really fucking trying Hitch, but fuck. It’s been hard.” You feel pines in your eyes as tears gather at the corner of your eyes, you look up at Hitch offering her a sad smile. 

Her happy, curious face changed into sadness as she looked into your eyes. She reaches her hand over the table grabbing your hand, holding yours in hers, her thumb rubbing across the top of your hand. “I know babe. I know it’s been hard.” She searches your eyes for any type of reaction, but you just simply keep listening to her, waiting. She continues, “You will find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone will come along, and will give you that confidence about breaking down those walls and showing them who you really are. You know you’re a great person, right?” She squeezes your hand, “We all love you. But,” She looks into your eyes and offers a small smile, “You need to give people that chance to. You don’t get to know someone overnight.” 

You look down, your free hand under the table grabbing the bottom of your shirt hoping to relieve some of the anxiety you were feeling. 

You sigh, “I know, I know. I get it, I really fucking do Hitch. But it’s been so hard. It’s just easier to not get closer to anyone anymore.” 

Hitch lets go of your hand, leaning back in her chair. “I know, I get it. But promise me one thing.” 

“And what’s that?” You already knew what she was going to ask you. 

She’s going to ask for you to at least try. 

I’m sure she’ll tell me again at some point. 

God, you’re a mess, huh? 

“Can you at least try to let people in that you meet if you think they’re worth the time? Please?” She offers a small smile to you, eyes flicking between yours. 

You nod your head, “Only if I think they’re worth it. Otherwise,” You pause, raising your eyebrow, “They aren’t worth the effort.” You let out a small laugh. 

Hitch smiles at you, “Okay, fair enough.” She laughs. 

Do I say something to her about Eren? 

Like .. we’re just friends, but he made me feel so comfortable with just the short amount of time we chatted. 

Fuck. 

She’d find out eventually from Armin, right? 

Might as well tell her either way. 

“So,” You start, cheeks feeling a little red as Hitch raises an eyebrow to you, “Armin introduced me to one of his coworkers yesterday in discord, and it surprisingly went really well.” 

“Well of course it did, you’re a hard person to not like. But how was this coworker? He pass the vibe check?” She takes a sip of her drink. 

You smile at her, “Yeah I think so. He was so easy to talk to, conversation between the three of us just flowed super easy. His name is Eren.” 

She raises an eyebrow to you, looking down at her drink as she laughs. “Why you got that look on your face, Hitch?” 

The smile on her face continues to stay, “No reason.” She giggles, continuing, “I’m glad that he seemed cool though, that’s always good to hear.” 

You roll your eyes, “Hitch, we literally just met. He just seems really nice, it’s nothing more.” 

She nods her head as if she doesn’t believe the last part, smiling, “Either way. Glad you three all got along. Do you know what he looks like?” 

Of course she’d ask that. 

You smile at her, “Nah. But if he works with Armin, probably some nerdy looking dude if I’m guessing.” You laugh, though you were sure there were all types of people at Armin’s job, you really couldn’t picture anyone looking different than Armin really.    

She shrugs her shoulders, “He could look god tier for all you know.” 

You look at her, returning the shrug smiling, “Yeah, who knows.”

A/N: thank you for reading this new fanfic, was literally making dinner and this came to mind and i had to act on it. hopefully yall like it, and thank you for reading - pretty excited about this one. see yall in the next chapter.

[cloudy-leonhart]

Independent Together (PART 2)

[Authors Note: it kinda took me a bit of time to write the second part, I didn’t like the first time I wrote it so I remade it lol.]

[Summary: A month had passed by since the incident, the survey corps seemed so different since then, waking up in pain, Reader woke up just in time, as the survey corps comes back from an expedition.]

Pairings: Poly!Hanji, Poly!Miche, Poly!Erwin, Poly!Levi, Poly!Nanaba x Reader.

Theme: Angst/Fluff.

TW: Swearing, Reader was in a coma, for a bit.

Recommended Song: If The World Was Ending - JP Saxe, Julia Michaels.

part 1 here!

[gif rightfully belongs to owner.]

It’s been a month. One month, you were still asleep, one month since the incident, there wasn’t a day where one of your lovers weren’t by your side, Levi held your hand and fed you food, he doesn’t consider the mixed mush food much but he fed it to you anyway, so you didn’t starve in your sleep.

Erwin came to check on you late at night, he would do his work by your bedside, holding your hand in one hand and reading his work in the other. Whenever he had the free time, he would come and visit you, he did his best to make you comfortable, even if you didn’t know it.  

Nanaba and Mike used to go together until they decided they want time alone with you. Nanaba would come in every time they had meals, everyday, for a month, she had her meals with you and only you, while you laid healing, she told you stories about how amazing her day went, or how much she misses your hugs and your comforting kisses. 

Mike would come and see you whenever he can, he would bring flowers that would remind him what you smelled like, he holds your hand and places soft kisses on it, he stays quiet during the whole thing, sometimes sleeping beside you. He wonders when you’ll wake up all the time, he asks the nurses for any update, whether that’s you waking up or you moving for a millisecond in your sleep.

Hanji comes almost every fifteen minutes, the nurses have to kick them out sometimes, everyday like Nanaba, they would share stories about their discoveries, it can be something as small as a new flower, or a new habit of titans, Moblit did think it was a bit weird seeing Hanji being in your room rather than doing some of their crazy experiments. 

Although they have one thing in common and that’s wondering if you’ll ever wake up, no matter how many times Levi comes and feeds you or Nanaba washes you with a rag or just make sure you’re healthy, it seemed like you were never going to wake up, it scares all of them, they held their expedition as far as they could, knowing that the higher-ups would be angry at them, but they couldn’t help but be selfish for once. 

The sleepless nights with the whole group, Hanji would sleep in Levi’s quarters or Erwin’s because you weren’t there to cuddle with them anymore, Levi always grabs two teacups instead of one until he realizes that you didn’t brew tea like you did for him every morning and his mood is ruined after. Erwin can’t do his work properly without reminiscing how you would give him back hugs and snuggle your face into the crook of his neck.

Mike and Nanaba would always be together because Nanaba couldn’t spend twenty minutes away from you without crying. They were trying their best to be strong and set an example for their cadets, but with every day you were unconscious, the more they break, every cadet could see it and they too, felt bad about how restless their superiors looked.

---

It was another day, you’ve been stuck in a black abyss for what seems like forever, you couldn’t open your eyes, you couldn’t move your body. You listened in your little head while every one of your lovers talked to you. You tried hard to wake up and tell them you’re okay, but you gave up and let yourself rest, maybe if you let yourself rest you’ll be able to move as soon as your body’s got the energy.

So everyday for a month, you listened to the stories of Hanji and Nanaba, you listened to Levi’s scoldings, you listened to Erwin’s pleas for advice on what to do, you listened to Mike’s quiet smooches on your hand. 

You were a little bit curious on why any of your lovers were yet to come and visit you, it was uncomfortably silent, you were sure that breakfast was almost finished and Nanaba was yet to come and tell her about any stories, you felt your hand twitch, you realized your body was waking up and you tried your best, to get up as fast as you could. 

“ngh..” A sound came out from your mouth, a nurse who was on shift, taking care of you looked over to her side, to see you awake and coughing, she froze for a moment before helping you sit up, seeing you struggle to get up from the frigid mattress used by the infirmary. “Miss Reader! You..You’re awake?” The nurse exclaimed, her tone sounded like she was questioning. “What..What’s going on?” You squinted your eyes, the morning light stung your eyes as a headache pounded over and over again.

You covered your eyes as the nurse checked up on your status, seeing if anything looked out of the ordinary. “I’ll bring you some breakfast, please don’t leave your bed,” She took hold of a metal bowl, rags were in it, you assumed it was used to wash you, “You haven’t left bed in a month and I’m sure your legs won’t be able to carry you after not moving a while.”

You didn’t bother to nod at the nurses warning as you laid back down, your headache to overbearing and the light stung your eyes too much, you covered your eyes with your arm, wincing at the sound of the door slamming shut. 

You waited for a good thirty minutes, before a nurse came back in with a tray of food, you sat up painfully as the nurse placed the tray on your lap, greeting you goodbye and leaving the infirmary to give you privacy. You didn’t miss the tasteless soup, but the bread was edible.

You sat in your bed all morning, finishing your breakfast portion by portion, reading a book Levi left from his night shift, you were pretty bored without your lovers, you wonder how worried your lovers are, not knowing whether they’d see your happy smile again or even as such as a glance from your beautiful eyes.

A bunch of muffled hooves galloping broke you out of your thoughts, you looked out of your window, squinting for a few seconds, you recognized your lovers’ horses. You felt your heart quicken, you saw from the dirty fogged window, Hanji’s blurred face, you could tell that they seemed tired, they weren’t as bubbly as normal and that worried you.

You saw someone walk up to them, Levi you thought, his height was unfortunately the first detail you managed to identify about them. You watched as Levi helped Hanji down, you didn’t bother to continue watching as you wanted to feel your lovers’ arms around you again. You stood up from your bed, your long night-gown fell off the bed like a waterfall, following your actions, you felt your legs become wobbly, which you held onto the bedside table to stabilize yourself.

“Miss Reader! Please go back to bed, you’re still weak!” The nurse scolded, seeing you get up from bed, you looked over to the nurse with a pleading expression, “I know, just let me see them, I haven’t seen them in so long.” The nurse opened her mouth to protest before closing it and sighing, she reached a hand beside her, it emerged with a pair of crutches in her hands. “Let’s go, Miss Reader.” Her voice was motherly as she helped you on the crutches. 

You quickly grabbed the crutches, you felt way better shifting your weight from foot to foot while walking out of the infirmary, your nurse beside you to give your additional support just in case. You limped as fast as you could to the nearest exit that lead to the outside of the headquarters. 

You felt your heartbeat fasten with every step, you missed your lovers so much, you couldn’t fight with your excitement as you come closer and closer with the exit, you begged that they would bust into the building, as if a god answered your pleas, it opened, Eren showed himself, aside him Armin and Mikasa, who was mumbling a storm. Eren looked to the side of him to see you, frozen mid-limp. 

“Reader?” He said out loud, Mikasa and Armin looked over to where Eren gazed, “Oh my god!” the trio ran towards you as you braced yourself for the impact, you felt three pairs of arms hug your body, as you winced with how tight Mikasa’s hold on you was. “Reader, the superiors was so worried about you! We thought you’d never wake up,” Armin cried out, “It was so quiet without you.” Mikasa mumbled out, a worried tone in her voice.

“I’m awake now, right? I thought you’d be relieved since there would be no one to help Hanji capture Eren for their experiments.” You laughed, which turned into coughing as the trio still looked at you worriedly. “Oi, Eren, where the fuck are you, did you forget you had cleaning du-” A familiar voice called out, you turned your head towards the voice, your eyes made contact with the cold, steel-like blue-grey eyes you fell in love with. 

“Levi..” You called out, you felt tears start to form in your eyes as he just stood shocked, you were there, standing, you were blinking, breathing. You were alive. He felt overwhelmed, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, Hanji walked in after him, they looked confused as they just stared at Levi’s shocked expression. “Levi?-” Levi pushed through Hanji and stomped towards you, you felt yourself sweat out of worry, he stopped in front of you and lettng out staggered breaths, “I..was so..worried, idiot.” His voice was breathy, as he pulled you in his arms.

The sound of your crutches dropping to the floor made Hanji turn around, they too froze, they watched as you and Levi dropped to the floor with a thud. They felt themselves tear up with you, they couldn’t keep their emotions in, they yelled out, “Reader!!” They cried out, running towards you and Levi, joining into your hug. You laughed through your tears as you nuzzled yourself tighter into Levi’s and Hanji’s arms, you could smell their scents, Hanji smelt like oranges and peonies, a hint of cleaning products, probably from their lab.

Levi smelt like black tea and the smell of soap, you expected it as you scrunched up his shirt in your hand. You could feel Hanji’s tears dropping into your hair, you could feel levi’s hand tightening their grip around your hair. “We missed you so much,” Hanji’s voice was muffled, it was broken and hiccups accompanied their sentence. 

“Mike! Erwin! Nanaba!” Hanji yelled out as you stayed quiet, trying your best to enjoy the embrace Levi and Hanji’s providing you. “Hanji?! What’s wrong?” Erwin’s voice called out, worry laced in his voice, getting closer. “She’s awake! Reader’s awake!” Hanji’s voice broke into joyous sobs as they continued hugging you, you half-laughed as you pulled away from Levi’s neck. You felt your tears stream down your face.

You heard the loud running of the rest of your lovers, Nanaba burst in first, she stopped at the door, panting as their eyes made contact with your teary ones. “Holy..crap. You idiot!!” Nanaba yelled out, not bothering to keep her emotions in as she sobbed, running straight for you, Levi and Hanji backed to the side to not get caught into her tackle towards you.

You let out a yelp as you and Nanaba collided and fell to the ground. She sobbed in your shouders, holding your waist tightly. You held onto her back as she shed her tears onto your night-gown, you didn’t care though, you were just happy you could hold onto Nanaba once again. 

You looked up from Nanaba’s neck, you glanced at Mike and Erwin who let out a sigh of relief as they kneeled right in front of you and Nanaba, you chuckled softly, pulling Mike to the hug and urging Erwin to join.

“I’m sorry for leaving you guys for so long, you look miserable without me.” You laughed out, as they laughed with you. Armin pulled Mikasa and Eren away to give you guys a moment to reconnect and just be with each other. Erwin and Mike helped you up as Levi grabbed you crutches and held onto it. Your lovers led you to a bench and sat you down as they bombarded you with thoughts of worry and love, happiness. 

“You don’t know how lonely we were without you, Reader.” Erwin sighed out, holding your hand tightly as you chuckled weakly, “lonely? I would’ve swore Hanji would’ve been able to bug you as much I did.” Hanji whined at the mention of their name, the vets knew they were supposed to be in their offices doing their work, but you were awake! How could they just greet you and go?

Nanaba let out louder and happier cries as she hugged you tighter, you smiled and patted her head, “There, there, Nanaba. I’m here now so stop crying, or you’re going to dehydrate yourself.” You scolded with a playful tone as you ran your fingers through her hair.

“We’re just,” Nanaba let out a sniffle, “we’re just really happy to see you awake again, it was so agonizing when you weren’t here to respond to me and Hanji’s stories, or when Erwin would—“ a hand covered Nanaba’s mouth, “Okay, that’s enough. I think Reader gets the point.” Erwin tried to save himself from embarrassment.

In which you did honour, by not telling them you heard all of them in your sleep.

“You better bet your ass, you’re never leaving our sights again after this.” Levi called out, leaning against the wall. You sighed softly before putting a smile on, “Reasonable.”

“We’re happy to see you awake and up again, Reader. We love you so much.” Mike kissed the top of your head, getting a slight whiff of your hair, which surprisingly smelled fine even though you haven’t taken a proper shower in a month.

You felt your cheeks heat up a small bit, you held onto Nanaba’s hand as she argued about how disgusting it was for Erwin to put his hand on her mouth, just after an expedition.

You leaned your hair onto Hanji’s shoulder before finally letting your eyes rest a bit, just enjoying your reunion with your lovers once more, finally you mumbled out,

“I love you guys too.”

[eureka-its-zico]

Half Bitten Part 4

Prologue  Part 1   Part 2   Part 3

A/N: So no one really asked for a continuation of this. I just work on stuff when I’m stuck on other things and I love supernatural stuff. My only hope is that someone out there enjoys this just a little. As always, thank you for reading. Much Love, Jenn

Jimin X Reader (for now?)

Words: 8620

Genre: Vampire supernatural goodness

Warnings: some slight gore

The surge of fear that rushed through you left a sickeningly sweet taste of copper on your tongue. For that brief moment, as your eyes focused in and out on his figure, you wondered if maybe you’d bitten your tongue. A mixture of shock from the wound on your leg and the frigid air making your teeth begin to clatter unapologetically from the cold. That wasn’t even mentioning the blood loss from your wounded leg was starting to show itself: your eyes running over him in doubles when you knew damn well there was only one of him. The spyglass vision made it increasingly harder to focus, and the more you did focus on him the more you felt the absurdity at noting how attractive he was. 

From Jimin to Namjoon and now this guy, they all held on to that otherworldly energy. It demanded to be admired and touched: a dangerous game to hypnotize right before they stroked. A small part of you wondered if there was a convention? A secret meeting place to find the most attractive people on the planet and turn them into vampires. 

It was the worst, most ridiculous, time for your thoughts to shift to the absurdity of looks but it also felt equally absurd that you were running for your life. From vampires. You knew the fear that quickened your blood should’ve been enough to send your feet packing in the other direction. Yet, there you were woozy from blood loss and your limbs on fire from adrenaline. 

You were vaguely aware that your new dangerous stranger was edging his way towards you. Blood soaked eyes smiling to the soft hum of a song he’d originally hummed but was now breathing into the space between you. It was hauntingly beautiful and serene. The words took ages to reach you, but when they did your heart thundered wildly. A scared rabbit caught in the view of a viper. 

“Your scent is so pure. It tastes so rich. You’ll try to hide.  you’ll never get far. I love the chase. I’ll find you wherever you are.”

The words danced sickeningly sweet inside your head. The angelic sound of his voice almost enough to make you overlook the words. But your brain knew something wasn’t right, and it sent you turning on your heels and attempting to sprint away from him. 

You’d felt like a fool. You’d been so starry-eyed as you watched him he’d already begun to pace towards you. A delicate shift of his feet that practically left him dancing and a few feet closer to you than before. 

Your late response to turn tail and run; digging in and shifting you forward, hopefully, as far away from him as your injured legs could carry, felt too late. The sensation was so overwhelmingly it took everything in you not to scream. To yell into the void of the night for a help that would never come. The anxiety of not knowing when his attack would come ripped your stomach apart and your heart nesting snuggly in your throat. 

With every pounding of your feet into the asphalt the nerves in your injured leg sent electrical jolts of pain throughout your body. A screaming reminder that you were wounded prey, and the agony you felt now wouldn’t compare to the future he had in store.

You held on to a dim hope you’d had a chance of getting away, but with the first brush of a body moving past you, faster than your brain could register, you knew that hope was non-existent. You barely had time to register the second gust of movement, now to your right, and you weren’t able to stop the soft yelp that crawled free from your throat. 

His windchime-like laughter resonated around you as if he was impossibly close. Behind you. Beside you. All around you. The playful sound erupted and consumed you until it was the only sound you could hear. 

He kept toying with you, herding you, whichever way he saw fit. The progress you thought you were making to safety dissolved quickly at the realization he had you moving in circles. Your mind was now blaring warnings wrapped up in frantic thoughts that left you dizzy with panic.

He wasn’t safe. He wasn’t Jimin who was there to care for you. He was obviously one of Namjoon’s people. This mystery man who tormented you. 

RUN!

Your brain kept scrambling the words around. The flight of nerves urging you to keep moving not caring that you were attempting just that. The neon of the Chinese food restaurant that’s been on your right now seemed on your left. Had he completely made you do a one-eighty? 

There it was again - that clamoring of panic in your chest. It definitely wasn’t helpful, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to help save you. Just another thing to add to your growing shit show of a day. It didn’t matter if you were going to be able to get away. Realistically, you knew the chances of that happening were narrowing down slim to none. It didn’t stop your legs from tearing to your left back down the street, legs pumping, and started saying a prayer that you’d magically turn into The Flash. If vampires and witches were suddenly real it didn’t seem like too much of a stretch to become a superhero. 

Gosh, how you’d seemed to find a street with literally no one on it seemed horrifically convenient. 

“Silly rabbit,” his voice whispered down your spine and instantly caused a scream to catch in your throat like bile. 

Somehow, it seemed even the buildings were helping him play tricks on you. The acoustics of his voice bouncing around as an endless echo to disorient you from knowing which direction he would come from. That knowledge alone made a soft hiccup of a sob leave you. You weren’t even aware of the tears stinging against your eyes; your only focus on your escape and cursing your legs as they struggled to pick up the pace. You bite down on your lower lip to keep from letting one tear escape. You refused to give him the satisfaction.

“There’s no place you can run that I won’t find you.”

If you were feeling good about your odds, you would’ve told him to go fuck himself. The declaration is already solidly forming on your tongue and patiently waiting for you to send it off. Unfortunately, the odds were never in your favor.

You didn’t have to look back to know he was still giving chase. 

You struggled to stay focused. Your gaze landing on a liquor store - neon lights flashing with the grace of a motel vacancy sign - gave you a destination to strive for. The earlier choice of the Chinese restaurant now a thing of the past. He’d turned you around so much you weren’t sure if it was ever real. 

What you needed now was a home base that would possibly give a semblance of safety if only you could reach it. It felt damn possible. The feeling of the crazy bastard behind you somehow leaving you, but the anxiety of being chased still resided. 

You were mid-run, feet still lifted off the ground, when an arm snaked around your front and collided your back against a hard chest. A flutter of a moment passed, not long enough for his foreign touch to register, before your neck was exposed by a violent tug of your hair and sharp canines sinking down into the soft skin of your throat. 

That sob you’d held down ripped its way violently from your lips. Mixing together with a scream that shook through you and landed like an earthquake around you. His strong arms dominated you with ease, and continued to constrict across your body to keep your arms useless at your sides. 

The sensation was one that reminded you of your time in second grade. Mrs. Mann’s beloved python that sat motionless a majority of the time in the back corner of the class. You never seen it move until it was feeding time - never live bait - but even then you could still remember the abruptness and strength of the way it matched onto its food. The greedy way it swallowed its’ meal whole after its body made sure one last time the bunny was dead. 

This was what you remembered now as his arms continued to pull your body closer; impossibly closer. The hand that held your neck letting go to secure itself on your opposite shoulder. This man was your boa: squeezing his meal until he popped bones and killed every ounce of oxygen from your lungs.

The pressure was so great that it left your mouth hinged open. Your jaw unable to collapse, mostly due to your body howling for air. The flashing twenty-four hour liquor sign was a comical five feet away. The promised salvations hum of  low voltage electricity and spastic red glow turned into a blur. The tears you’d refused to shed now slid effortlessly down your cheeks. 

The only thing you could be aware of was that you weren’t breathing. Your mouth was still wide open, but your lungs refused to take in air. It didn’t matter that your body ached for it. It focused more on the sensation of a hungry mouth that sucked hungrily at your neck. The sharpened dog teeth that were sunk deep into the skin no longer ached. 

There was a moment you felt something hot slide down your neck and you wanted to yell. Your mind registering it as drool; not being able to comprehend it was your blood seeping between greedy mouthfuls as he drank. It was strange that after all this, your body was still aware of the placement of his hands. His arms still holding deathly tight, and yet you were placed securely up against his chest. 

If someone were to walk by all they would think was that you were just a young couple. Your boyfriend casually holding you from behind and laying kisses on your throat. They wouldn’t notice that the way his arms held yours it kept you from reaching out a pleading hand for help. At this point, you were so weak you weren’t even sure you’d have the strength to lift a finger, let alone a hand. 

The sting of his teeth that found their home in the hollow of your neck began to fade. Your mind was now only able to recognize the euphoric sensation that began to dance through every cell of your body. You no longer felt the need to fight him. Why would you when your body suddenly felt heavy and his arms so secure? 

In all the chaos of a few minutes the pain fueled down into an annoyance that went to the backdrop with the sensation of numbing pleasure. Whether it was blood loss, or defeat, your body began to relax against the undead stranger. A quiet urge to allow him to drink you down until you were nothing. You were sinking deeper against his strong chest; the euphoric feeling that coursed through you had now consumed you. 

You were vaguely aware that he was no longer holding you so tightly. An arm had found its way out of his hold and instead of fighting him off, it guided your hand up to his head. Your fingers now laced in his hair and holding on in pleasure. When your fingers dug and pulled against the hairs on his scalp, his arms moved to pull you closer but didn’t remove your hand. His mouth giving a -lord help you - playful bite that sent a thrill to the ends of your toes. 

And just like that, your lungs found air, and fuck - you moaned. 

A part of you hated the sound that escaped your mouth. That hatred growing stronger when you swore you could feel his lips curl into a smile. As fast as it all must have happened; it felt like an eternity. One you loathed and yet, were silently hoping would never end. You were so lost in the fuzziness of your thoughts, the sensation of him, that when you were flung violently from his arms the last bit of air you’d had left was knocked from them. The asphalt catching your body as it came to a painful multiple rolling stop. 

An eruption of a roar you knew came from the one who’d captured you: enraged at having his meal taken away was your only guess at how angry he truly sounded. You were too tired, too drained, to be afraid. The small part of you that was still capable of common sense knew you should’ve been terrified. To be terrified meant to flee but the amount of energy that would take was not something you had at that moment. 

You were barely able to muster enough of it to flip yourself onto your back. Your neck now alive with a bitterness at how rough he’d been. The feeling that was creeping back into your limbs made it inch by aching inch that it was not happy. A groan left your lips as you mustered another fit of strength to move yourself to your side. Your eyes landing on the one who’d rescued you. 

Jimin stood in the middle of you and the man. The other man who, even from this distance, plainly wore your blood smeared haphazardly around his mouth. A small amount decorating the hollow of his neck that he now wiped away in agitation. While he seemed particularly calm, annoyed, but calm Jimin seemed to reflect his opposite. 

Jimin’s body seemed consumed by a rage that reflected in the crease of his brow and the hard set of his shoulders. His jaw tight as he straightened out his body back to his full height. The other man before him appeared to be a few inches taller, but Jimin’s rage made him appear larger than what he was. 

“Jungkook!” Jimin’s voice rang out. The animosity in his voice radiated against your skin like a flame that threatened to eat you alive. “You dare taste her? Mark her?”

Jungkook didn’t give Jimin the satisfaction of answering him right away. Instead, you watched a coy smile spread on his blood-stained lips. His thumb dragging across the bottom and ended with it pressed inside his mouth. His tongue seductively working to clean up the mess you’d made. Jungkook didn’t let his thumb come back out until it was completely licked clean; his crimson eyes watching your face as he did it. The intensity of his gaze left an aching shiver on your skin and the heat on your cheeks enough to tell it wasn’t all completely out of fear. 

Jimin must have sensed it too. His gaze turning back to take you in at your current state, and finding your eyes glued to Jungkook’s position. The hurt Jimin showed wasn’t something that you could fully comprehend. You weren’t his to have. You belonged only to yourself. The person that he remembered, the woman he’d loved so many centuries ago, was not you. You were your own person. 

So why did the pain that rippled across his face make your heart ache? 

“You place an apple in front of Adam, Jimin and ask him not to take a bite.” He tsked him. The same finger he’d used to clean up your blood now teasing him in a tick tock motion. “You should remember: Adam always was a fool for the most delicious delights.” 

“She is not yours to have! You play me for stupid, Jungkook. I know that blood alone is not hers. Did you plan on making her drink from you?”

Your body became rigid as Jimin’s words embedded themselves into your chest. The fear that’d begun to reside came racing back and forced you to look at Jungkook closer now. You weren’t sure what it was that Jimin had seen that you did not. You feverishly scanned him until, there, the sleeve of his shirt that sat on his wrist was stuck to his skin. The blood there was still bright and fresh and only beginning to brown at its edges. 

It was the same side that held your head to him, neck exposed, earlier until he’d let it go. You’d thought Jungkook released you because he’d realized you were no longer going to put up a struggle and now the sickening feeling of knowing he’d meant to do something more ominous left you feeling nauseous. 

Jimin knew what he was trying to do. You knew from Jimin explaining about blood being a conduit that if you’d taken even a little of blood, Jungkook would’ve been able to find you. Wherever you were. No matter what. 

“I was only doing what MY King asked of me.”

“I could kill you for what you’ve done here.”

The playfulness that’d controlled Jungkook from the unfortunate moment you’d met him disappeared like smoke. His features hardened with a sinister look as he gave Jimin his entire focus. 

“You could try, old King, but you will fail.”

Jimin’s squared shoulders seemed eager to do just that until another voice joined the two men. 

“Now, now Jungkook. We don’t need an all-out fight on this beautiful night do we.”

You knew the owner of the voice long before Namjoon - the asshole himself - stepped out like magic beside Jungkook. A friendly hand resting on his shoulder until Namjoon moved to stand a few inches in front of him. But it wasn’t just Namjoon himself that appeared like magic from the curtains of the night. Two other figures joined at the edges of the men, making a symbol of an arrowhead, and one of these new introductions to this wildly fucked up play was holding the arm of your best friend. 

“Alice” 

At the sound of your voice it brought Namjoon’s full attention back to you. His brow creased in a momentary show of confusion at how cute you must have been looking: a bloodied heap in the middle of the road. He only needed to look to the man beside him on his left to understand your current state. Or perhaps he already knew. Jungkook’s earlier words of his orders swimming back to the surface of your recollection. 

Namjoon held you in his vision for breadth longer and moved his eyes over to the form of your friend. 

“You can still change her fate, Y/N. All you need to do is come with me.” 

Namjoon’s eyes held tightly to you: all of them seeming to watch your exhausted frame. Your mind struggled to comprehend what he meant and what it was exactly you’d have to do to change it. You’d barely been able to move up onto your knees. Your palms still needed on the asphalt of the road to keep you steady. Your whole body shuddered in exhaustion, but looking at Alice now, at what he had done was enough to make the exhaustion disappear and icy fury made your body rigid. 

“She won’t be going anywhere with you,” Jimin snarled. 

His comment snapped their attention back to him. You wanted to tell him yourself that you could make your own decisions. Not even he got to make them for you and yet, you couldn’t muster enough strength to care. Whatever you had left in you needed to be used to rescue Alice. Her lights still on with nobody home. 

“Jimin. I don’t think you’re in any place to be making threats, old friend.”

“It is more than just a threat.”

Namjoon took a step forward and splayed his arms out to indicate the men beside him. They were so caught up in their pissing contest. All you wanted was to know what you needed to do to get Alice back. All the way back and out of this trance he’d flung her in. 

“It took you long enough to come to your supposed “loves’” aid.” Namjoon’s words were filled with a sharp teasing; sharpened and dripping with sarcasm. “It took Jungkook using her as a snack for you to finally come running.”

“She enjoyed it.”

The heat in those three words were enough to send your cheeks heating with warmth and your eyes searching for the safety of the pavement. You wanted to shout your denial to Jungkook that he was wrong. Not a single part of you enjoyed what had transpired between the two of you, but that lie died long before it’d ever brushed your lips. 

Jimin must have realized it too, because now his earlier lividity returned. His eyes flickering with a murderous rage in Jungkook’s direction. 

“Hmm, maybe I should give her to Jungkook to finish what they’d started. What do you think, Jimin? Or I could always just give him Alice.”

Your head snapped back on Namjoon’s moving figure. His right hand resting under his chin as if he was stuck in a philosophical debate, and not the fate of an innocent woman. 

“You touch her and I’ll kill you.”

The coldness of your words stopped him short. Jimin, who’d been moving back towards you, didn’t take another step. You couldn’t believe it was you who’d spoken. Your own voice carrying a warning that was swept up in the air around you. Threatening something much darker than even you were able to understand. 

For a moment, you could tell you’d caught him off guard but Namjoon was quick on his feet. The hand that held his chin a second ago now moved to usher forward the man to his right. The one who was holding tight to Alice. 

“Oh, Y/N. Of course, I don’t want to do anything to your dear, sweet, and innocent little Alice. That’s why I’m giving you this choice.” 

The man whose face eerily held an angelic softness handed her off into Namjoon’s waiting embrace. Only taking a single step back; his dark almond eyes transfixed on you as if you were something dangerous, and not the other way around. His eyes speaking plainly: he wouldn’t let you do a damn thing to his King. 

“Stop giving her speeches of fairness. We both know you don’t have a fair bone in your body. All you know is how to do is take,” Jimin sneered. “I know even if she still says no you won’t stop hunting her until you have her.”

A flash of annoyance struck over Namjoon’s features like lightening and just as fast after it came, it was gone. His face smoothed back to its porcelain indifference. The only thing that showed his displeasure was the way his eyes were beginning to bleed crimson. 

“I would rather her to come willingly.” His reply was stated matter of factly. Namjoon’s eyes darting back to where you still sat on the floor and took a cautious step towards you. His hand on Alice’s arm forcing her to move with him. “But make no mistake, Y/N. I will have you. I will take you. One way or another.”

A scream echoed around you, and it took you a moment to realize it was coming from yourself. All the frustration. The guilt. Anger and grief that’d been building in the last twenty-four hours came out in a wave of exhaled air before you could stop it; before it could swallow you whole. 

“What will it take for any of you to get it through your thick stupid skulls! I am not a prize or some reincarnated lost love you two fought over because one was captain steal-your-girl. I’m literally no one! I’m just me.”

Namjoon released the grip he had on Alice’s arm and took another step toward you. His body language stating clearly he did not find Jimin’s presence between you in the least bit threatening. The pity that he showed you now, etched into the fine features of his face, only seemed to poke at the Amber’s of the animosity you felt towards him more. 

Why couldn’t any of them understand that you were not what they wanted you to be? You were yourself and always will be. And, at this point, you were more than happy to be your plain Jane ordinary self. 

He crouched down until he was leveled with your position on the pavement of the road. While he adjusted himself to your height you allowed yourself enough time to push up off your hands. Your butt now sitting on your calves and the pressure of the added weight sent the jagged pebbles deeper into your knees. As uncomfortable as it was you could deal. At least now you were looking him squarely in the eyes: no more cowering. 

“You really don’t understand, do you?”

“Namjoon.”

Jimin said his name as a warning. In return, Namjoon continued to ignore him. His brow furrowed tight at his attempt to intrude on his would-be heartfelt moment. 

“Your great-great-great grandmother is long dead. There is no bringing her back. Jimin and I have long accepted this. However.” Namjoon paused for a millisecond. Long enough to make your skin itch with the desire for him to hurry up and finish it. “The power that courses through your veins, Y/N it’s centuries old. Older than even she was. Your blood is what we are all after and the magic that flows in it.”

“I can’t even make a quarter disappear.”

Namjoon’s eyes sparked crimson to obsidian in a wild dance as he struggled to get his anger under control. While he didn’t seem to find your small joke funny you’d earned a snort of laughter from somewhere behind him. Even Jimin’s titled head wasn’t enough to hide the small smile that lifted his lips. 

“In time you will learn.”

“I don’t want to learn! What part of that aren’t you getting through your thick fucking skull.”

“That’s enough!” He roared. His face was fully changed now. All teeth and bleeding eyes with a power that shook the fabric of the night to its core. Namjoon’s change caused everyone around him to join in, until you were painfully aware you were the most human on of the group. “Either you come with us now or I rip your friends’ head open like a Pez dispenser.”

Your eyes zeroed in on him. The threat he made ruthless but one you knew deep down in your gut he’d meant. 

“I’d like to see you fuckin try.”

A mouth full of teeth smiled wickedly back at you. His feet obliging you by moving the few steps he’d taken away from Alice back to her side. Where she continued to stand patiently waiting like a zombie.  

There are moments in your life that don’t feel that important. These small decisions that you don’t realize put you on a deeper path to harder ones that you’ll have to make. Those small repercussions building themselves into a mountain of a moment.  

This is what it felt like now. All those decisions in your life you’d made suddenly seemed to expand like an endless sea of stars. So many of them that they couldn’t possibly be connected; and yet came together to create this constellation of your life.  

You watched Namjoon house the words you’d spoken in his mind. The way his face contorted into something that was worthy of pure nightmare fuel. The resolve of strength you’d had to tell him to basically go fuck himself was gone in that instant, because you were made painfully aware that the individuals before you were god-like. What could a helpless mortal do in the face of a god? 

Namjoon proved to you the answer to that was nothing. His speed moving him faster than you could process. You hadn’t even realized he’d moved at all until Jimin was simply in front of you; guarding you. He was now completely standing between Namjoon and yourself. Jimin’s hand catching Namjoon’s wrist; his fingertips milliseconds away from the tip of your nose. 

The two of them were locked in a battle of wills. The strength they commanded showing itself in the struggle of a dance of tug-a-war without any rope.  If Namjoon gained an inch Jimin was quick to take it back.  

“Move!” 

Without question you obeyed and were up on your feet immediately. Jimin didn’t give Namjoon another moment to force him back; his free hand shot out in a blur and connected with his chest. The sheer strength behind it sent him flying back almost a dozen feet before he gained back his footing. A snarl cutting through the air between them and Jungkook and the two other companions were at his side. 

Suddenly, you were painfully aware how outnumbered Jimin truly was.  

“Ugh – Jimin.” 

“Not now!” 

He waved you off as his eyes scanned in other bodies appearing from the shadows behind the four. Like a fool, you allowed yourself to hope that maybe some of these were on your side. By the way Jimin was staring at them, however, you knew that was most definitely not the case. 

“Where a little outnumbered here. Don’t you think!?” 

Was that your voice that cracked? No, no. You were perfectly calm. Super calm. 

Out of your peripherals you were able to catch a flash of movement. That flash was all you seen before teeth were inches from snapping in your face. A scream worked its way up your throat and was torn from your lips as foreign hands gripped your shoulders. You moved to block your face in a weak attempt just before those same hands disappeared.  

Jimin was behind him in seconds and ripped him off you. The two of them moved in a blinding speed of punches and blocking until Jimin’s hand exploded out the back of the other man’s back. Your hand flew to your mouth to stop a scream short; the gruesome mess left you feeling a bit lightheaded as you unwillingly noticed pieces of shirt and...other things dangling at the end of Jimin’s hand. 

It was a devastating wound. One that would’ve killed any normal man, but this wasn’t an ordinary man or a man at all. Jimin’s blow was only meant to wound, not kill, and this perfectly insane stranger was still trying to snap his way towards Jimin. His hands grabbed Jimin’s shoulder and used it to pull him forward. The movement made a sucking noise and made you question if the contents of your last meal were about to reappear like magic. 

Jimin knew the intentions of the other man and quickly drew his arm back. In the same breath, he followed it up with his palm slamming into your would-be attackers chest. The force of the blow sent him back like a limp ragdoll into Namjoon’s growing group.

“We need to get out of here!”

You couldn’t stop the panic dripping from your voice as you watched him narrowly escape another attack. This new body formed itself from the shadows and split free from its darkness with the flash of a blade. Jimin dodged each whirlwind of blows and strikes with an ease that you weren’t sure came from raw power or age. His attacker tried to switch up his attack by sending a flurry of double kicks towards Jimin’s abdomen. This must have been the opening Jimin had waited for. 

Jimin allowed him to land a kick to his side and when the man went to pull away Jimin locked his leg in place with his forearm. Jimin’s fist rushed in a speed of movement to land powerful blows into his exposed stomach and face. When the man tried to stab his blade into Jimin’s back, he easily grabbed his wrist and knocked the knife free from his hand. He was so focused on the knife that he wasn’t aware of the man coming from behind him. Your eyes danced back and forth, in decision on whether to speak or move weighing heavy on you. 

“Behind you!”

You decided on both. Your feet carried you forward as you shouted your warning to him. What you were going to do against a supernatural creature, you had no idea. You just knew you needed to do something. No matter how aware you were that you were incredibly useless in moments like this. Whatever happened when you finally reached him, you knew it was not going to end well for you. And that knowledge made your stomach turn until your body practically vibrated with anxiety.

The man with the blade was now on the floor under Jimin’s boot. Another came sprinting out of the darkness a mixture of snarling teeth and determination. Jimin used the man under him as a soccer ball and sent him flying into the other man. His body turning in a fluid one-eighty to to defend his back against another. 

You weren’t a hundred percent sure what overcame you. Why you felt the need to scream with what you figured was a war cry. The only thing that came out of it was now the singular attention that had been on Jimin now became equally shared between you. A man who’d been heading towards Jimin and the others derailed and was coming straight for you. Suddenly, that new found bravery dissipated and your fear sent the world around in slow motion. Your feet felt stuck in molasses; each step heavier than the last and a silent pleading for you to turn back. But you couldn’t turn back now. 

You braced yourself for whatever was about to happen. One minute, he was two feet from you, and the next he was screaming on the road. A man held on to the collar of his shirt and what was left of his upper body. The rest of him was laid out on the street in a mess of gore. 

The man who’d entered stage right held his own blade that looked more like a short sword. His arm slinging the blade back to whip off the blood onto the street. 

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

You spoke to no one. The words weight no more than a whisper and yet, to you, it felt like you’d been shouting. Crazy sword guy gave you the barest of glances before he was off. That blur of speed brought him to help clear the remaining men off of Jimin until the two of them were standing at each other’s backs. 

“Nice of you to finally make it, Hoseok.”

Hoseok, aka sword wielding-guy, had the grace to look embarrassed. Hoseok’s body bent at a stiff ninety-degrees towards Jimin who seemed too busy dusting off his coat to notice. 

“I apologize that Jin and I were not here sooner.”

Jimin waved him off. His eyes scanned the surrounding darkness and a part of you wondered what it was he saw there. You wanted to ask him, but the possibility of bad news kept you silent. 

“And where is Jin?”

“Waiting.”

What could he possibly be waiting for? You wanted to ask but in no way wanted anymore attention on yourself. A scream that demanded to be found sounded in the night around you. It circled around and asked to be followed. Your eyes locating the origin of the voice in a matter of seconds to Alice. No longer the vacant girl she’d been the last hour and more herself: the terrified edition. The terror in her eyes was enough to make your breath hitch in your throat. 

“V.” Namjoon motioned with a flick of his finger and the man obeyed.

V. He’d been the one who you thought looked Angelic. His eyes were bright, open, and reflected nothing but bad intentions. Pillow soft lips curled up into a sneer of a smile as he stepped forward. He dragged Alice with him pulling her with such force you were worried he would simply tear it from the socket out of boredom. The sounds Alice made to accompany his aggressive movements only solidified your assumption. 

For all the beauty their afterlife had given them, it did nothing to hide the monsters underneath. Even the devil was an angel once.

“Let’s speed thing up, shall we? Either you turn yourself over to me now, Y/N, or I’ll kill her.”

To prove his point, Namjoon reached out to take her from V. His large hand closing around her throat and lifting her up effortlessly. Her dangling feet struggled to kick him, flailing hands scratching at his arm, and to silence her Namjoon noticeably squeezed her tighter. 

“Stop it! Please!”

The words came out in a sob. Your body struggling to take a breath. A fear that if you did, if you moved at all, it would be all he needed to hurt her more. 

“If you want to stop this than I suggest you do as you’re told and get over here. Now.”

The previous cat and mouse coyness in Namjoon’s voice completely vanished. Every word he spoke sent a sliver of fear down your spine. You weren’t going to argue with him as the fight had left you the minute you’d heard her pleading. You moved to take a step forward and found your legs were refusing to move. The more you struggled against the sensation the heavier the feeling of sinking in quicksand became. 

“You aren’t going anywhere.”

The threat in Jimin’s voice was palpable. The anger that clutched his jaw made you want to instantly apologize for even considering leaving. Almost. Your own anger was bubbling to the surface finally and a hushed, “Fuck you,” rumbled free from your chest. 

“Why can’t I move?!”

“Because I’m not letting you.”

There was a split second where it crossed your mind that he had to be joking. You felt so sure it was a sick prank only to see no part of him was joking.

“What does that even mean? You aren’t letting me. I don’t need your permission.”

Jimin’s mouth opened but it was Namjoon’s voice that cut through.

“It means that this is pointless. You didn’t tell me he’d given her any of his blood.”

Why was he saying this towards Alice? Your brow furrowed as confusion began to roll through you in waves. There was no way your brain could comprehend what you were seeing. Namjoon’s arm no longer held her off of her feet. He’d set her down but kept a firm hold of her neck. And Alice. Your best friend. She no longer looked one bit terrified. Instead annoyance had taken residency all over her face. 

“Alice.”

You hated how little your voice sounded. How much it showcased the betrayal you felt. That annoyance that’d wrapped itself around her like a shroud only seemed to grow larger when she glanced in your direction.

“She never mentioned anything to me about him feeding any blood to her. Just that they’d had sex in a dream a few times.”

Heat washed over your face. A blend of anger and embarrassment with you not really knowing which one it was that colored your cheeks.

“Alice!”

Christ. Were you a broken record.

You might as well have been talking to the wind. Alice looked away from you and back at Namjoon. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Her eyes were strictly for him. A comical cartoon version with her eyes filled with hearts flashed in your head. And slowly, as you watched her continue to look at him like a lovesick puppy, a horrible realization began to spread. Your chest tight and ready for whatever heart break came next.

Months ago, Alice talked about meeting a guy at a bar. A night when you were supposed to join her, but lied about catching a stomach bug. She’d gone on and on about how he looked. She’d gone into even more detail about the way he’d fucked her. You’d thought he sounded like someone who just wanted a piece of ass. Hated him before you’d even met him. Now your mind was flooding with all the descriptions Alice had ever given.

It had been Namjoon she’d met that night in the bar. The night you’d ditched her.

Slowly, your eyes moved from her hopelessly devoted figure to the man who still held onto her neck. An unseen collar and his arm was the leash.

You never hated someone before. Not really. Sure, you’d said it nonchalantly in passing. Thought you’d understood exactly what it felt like in moments with people that you were sure the only emotion you’d felt was hatred. Looking at Namjoon now – you knew you were wrong.

This hatred was fire in your blood. It threatened to climb up your throat and release out from your mouth until all the air was spent from your lungs. Most of all, this hatred would only be sated by blood.

You hadn’t been aware that your body was moving until you felt a sharpness in your chest. Your hand moved up to clutch absentmindedly at your heart. Was it possible to feel your heart break and be this angry all at once?

“Y/N – stop!”

Jimin’s voice dripped with the command. A command you wanted to tell him to shove his commands up his ass, but your body listened nonetheless. You felt rooted to that very spot. You were too angry to make sense of this. It forced you to close your eyes and attempt to concentrate. No matter what you did you could not get yourself to move.

Jimin walked to where you stood. His body moved to stand in front of you and cut off what little you could see of Namjoon and Alice.

“Out of my way, Jimin!”

“No. You are too angry right now to see this is what he wants. It’s just another trick to get you where he wants you.”

“Well it’s working.”

“You need to try and calm yourself – “

“Fuck you,” you snarled. Your world was narrowing; wilting down to a tunnel vision that only housed enough room for two. “I’m done with being calm. I’m through with being scared.”

A snort of laughter brought your attention through the tunnel and landing on Alice. She was no longer held like a dog on a leash. She stood proudly behind Namjoon at his side. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes stating plainly: you’re a joke.

“What are you going to do, Y/N? All you’ve ever been since I’ve known you is weak. I don’t even know why they’d even fight over someone as pathetic as you.”

Her words stung. Why would she say that? Was he making her say things like this to you?

“Alice. I know this isn’t you.”

Alice shook her head and moved forward. Her arms falling at her side as she regarded you with the same disgust she’d show a piece of shit on her shoe.

“And what do you actually know about me, Y/N? You’ve always known what I wanted you to know.  The person I made you believe I was, is all just someone made up. Imaginary.”

“How can you say that to me? After all the things we’ve been through. The things we told each other. You can act as tough as you want in front of Namjoon, but you and I know the truth.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged. “But how else do you think they found out where we lived? Why did it feel like someone was following you at all your favorite spots? I told him, Y/N. I told them everything I knew about you.”

That fire that’d raged in your blood smoothed into ice. The shock of her words rocked you, and you knew that was exactly what she’d wanted. Alice was not who you thought she was. She’d made that abundantly clear. 

That girl didn’t exist. And all those times you’d come home terrified. Your heart crammed so deep in your throat you’d thought you were going to die from panic. All because you’d thought you were being followed. Alice joked and comforted you into believing it was just your mind playing tricks. When, in all actuality, it had been her doing the entire time.

Alice was a major key player in where you were standing. Surrounded by a pack of wolves.

You were vaguely aware of Jimin at your side. The faded sounds of his voice beside you eventually grew silent. His companion, Hoseok, somewhere off around you. The two of them faced Namjoon and his men. In between making sure they weren’t trying anything, he sent cautionary glances towards you. He must have been able to feel it; sense it.

The flame of your hatred, your betrayal, that had extinguished earlier was roaring back to life. The anger far surpassing what you felt capable of containing inside you. A dark part of you wanted to scorch the earth they stood on. 

Show them.

                                  Burn them.

The softness of the whisper tickled across your ear and raised the hairs on your arms. The sane part of you – what was left of it – knew something wasn’t right. You tried to play it off as just thoughts. The sinister feeling a part of you, a part that all humans had inside them when they were pushed too far. But it whispered again. This time gentler and promising: “Show them the price for a Witch's fury.”

“I don’t know how.”

Your words hung in the darkness of the night as you waited for a reply. The cautionary energy was pulsating now. All eyes wondering if you’d gone insane for talking to yourself. But they couldn’t hear them. The women who felt like friends; relatives.

“Whatever you hear – whatever they’re saying – you must fight them.”

Jimin was back inside your vision. His eyes searching yours to see if you were still with him. You were both present and not. Lost to voices that made you wonder if he could hear them too.

We can show you.

                         We can teach you.

Let

           Us

                         Innnnn…

Your eyes looked back over at Alice. The one person you’d held the closest in your life, second to your own mother. Flashbacks of every moment you’d shared together. From special drinks you’d created on girls’ nights while binge watching ‘The Great British Baking Show,’ and ‘Friends.’ The two of you, drunk, and believing you could easily make a three-tiered cake from scratch. The trips you’d taken. The help you’d given.

All of it had been a lie. A well-crafted play for her just to hand you over to the very monster she proudly stood beside. Looking at her now was enough for you to make your decision.

Jimin must have sensed it. His mouth framed in an unfinished shout that never got a chance to be heard. Silently, you let the sickly-sweet voice know you agreed and suddenly you weren’t the only one in your body.

It felt like dozens of women – yes, women – were housed inside you. Each of them held their own rage at a betrayal they’d suffered. Each deceit seeped into your bones like a cancer.

Jimin’s hand reached out to touch you; could feel the unspoken bound he’d made inside you make a weak attempt to soothe you. It was a warm sensation that moved from your core and up. A ghost of a hug that was only felt by its warmth. 

He was trying to drive whatever darkness you’d allowed in, but your wrath - your hatred - was too strong. It easily pushed back whatever weak attempt he’d tried to bring you back, and sent your hands out against his chest. The force of it sent him flying back; his feet struggling to stay grounded as his feet dragged on the asphalt.

“We are not your playthings.”

When you spoke, it wasn’t just your voice they heard. Your feet that had felt rooted were now moving forward. Your hands that had trembled were steady as they went to the wounds on your throat. The still pulsing wound in your leg. Each hand moved into the aching wounds to release fresh blood in your palms.

A voice inside the chaos came forward. An old oak among raging storms and housed itself there to teach you. All magic flowed through a balance in the universe. You could not give without it taking. This was how balance worked. A debt was owed when you used it for something dark, and this price you would pay with blood.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

Alice no longer looked smug or amused. She looked terrified as she moved to stand closer to Namjoon.

“That parasite will not save you from me, girl.”

Your voice was dry and worn with age. You rode out her fear and moved to kneel in the road a mere feet from her. Your bloodied hands working symbols into the ground as you began to chant in a tongue you did not know.

All you knew was that the fire full of rage that sat deep in your belly would soon consume her. When the last of the words left your lips, a blue flame snacked along the blood you’d spread until it grew and grew; spreading wings to create a small lake of fire between you.

You rose to your feet and looked out among the faces of those that’d wish to harm you. 

                                            Harm us.

You watched as their bodies became tight with anxiety; some of Namjoon’s lackies fear seeped into the air like a sickness. Good. They should be. With an unholy shriek the fire that crept around them spread wide as your arms rose around your head. The only driving thought you had was that you wanted it to cleanse them.

The fire rushed first towards Namjoon and Alice. V and the other broody one you’d yet to learn of his name, quickly grabbed her and were gone. Namjoon offered you a brief look of irritation before he dodged out of the way. The sound of screams brought your attention to your left and watched as your flame licked up, up, and up until it consumed. The vampire with the fist-sized hole in his chest was now struggling to put himself out.

A smile that was not yours curled your lips and a sickening feeling of joy at watching him die made you suddenly grow ill. This wasn’t you. This hatred. This destruction. You didn’t want to be a murderer. The sickly voice that’d whispered reassuringly earlier was now hostile. It wanted to stay.

Your feet began to back peddle away from everyone as best you could. You had no idea where it was you were going, but anywhere that would be safer for them. You turned to start running again and held your hands over your ears as a scream shook across your skull. Only you could hear them and how they pressed hard inside your skull. The pressure overwhelmed you and made you believe at any minute your eyes would be pushed out. 

You’d only gotten a block when your body could no longer take the pain. Your feet caught on the edge of the sidewalk and you went crashing down. The screaming in your head had only grown louder and caused your vision to begin to blur. Maybe your head really was going to explode after all.

You turned your face to look up towards the moon and were greeted by the sight of Jungkook. His fist connecting with your cheek was the last thing you seen before everything went quiet and dark.  

[seokustic]

➝ three months into working for min&kim, coming across the forged company audit is the last thing you’d want in your plate. and min yoongi isn’t convinced that you’d keep your mouth shut.

➝ yandere!ceo!yoongi x secretary!reader

➝ 2 242 words

➝ warnings: dub-con, blackmail, coercion, unprotected sex, stockholm syndrome

➝ author’s note: read the warnings. don’t proceed if those elements make you uncomfortable.

―

“please, i won’t tell anyone,” you can taste the fear on your tongue as you gaze into yoongi’s unbending eyes.

“i understand i’m not in any position to make demands but please let me go home and i’ll forget this ever happened,” words of desperation and submission leaves your lips faster than the ‘sorry’s you owe every possible colleague that works under you.

“self-aware. i like that,” he husks, tossing the sleek black blazer of his onto the couch as he begins to undo the buttons of the cuffs around his wrists, “no wonder namjoon’s eager to keep you to himself.”

at the mention of that name, a bleached blonde haired man with the kindest dimpled smile flashes at the back of your mind. you remember shooting up from your seat and bowing as he passed by you whilst words of “have a good evening, mr. kim,” leaves your pretty wine red coated lips.

‘will i be able to meet him again?’

the thought chills you to your bones.

‘why wouldn’t i meet namjoon again?’ you internally laugh. if it was an audible one, it would have sounded pathetic yet hopeful.

to think you’re worrying about the future when your present is shriveled with uncertainty.

you watch as the man he calls his brother and partner amble towards you with leisure but dominating steps. like a hunter sizing up his prey.

if yoongi was black leopard, you’d be a white little bunny who’s trapped between the recliner and the glass desk, unable to move even though you’d spot him in your line of sight.

“i-is it money you want?” the words slip past your lips before you can even register them.

when you’re mentally hitting yourself for asking the co-owner of the firm you’re working at if he wants what little savings you have in your account, yoongi is already chuckling. it sounds melodic for someone who looks like he’s about to eat you alive.

“you and i both know i’ve got more money on my wrist than you do in your account.” he stops in front of you, feet wedged between your heeled ones.

as if on cue, the rolex on his wrist glints. as if mocking you as he pulls open the top most drawer, pulling out a miniature tripod with a phone readily attached to it. all you can do is continue to watch as he unlocks the screen.

the sound of you sucking in a sharp breath is the only thing that fills the silence when you see yourself reflected in the square frame. the time played over your wide-eyed gaze begins at 00:00:01.

“oh, that? don’t mind that. i like to look back at the time we’re about to spend together and... reminisce.” he wears a smirk on his face and pushes the hem of your dress up with his hand.

yet the billion dollar smirk you’d be dying to see and would fawn over with krystal from afar now makes your stomach knot with disgust. your heart’s palpitating but the sweat trickling down the side of your face is cold.

“please,” your head shakes, as if that little gesture could touch his heart and make him stop what he’s doing.

the metallic sound of his belt clicking as he undoes it drums it your ears, “get on the desk, sweetheart.”

when silence and your disbelieving stare is all he gets as a response, yoongi’s voice rises higher than the usual smooth, husked tone you’re used as he passed you and bade you good morning these past three months since you started working and min&kim.

“fucking do it!”

you scamper to hoist yourself over the flat surface of the table. both your ass and palms feel ice cold against the glass material.

“spread your legs.”

the tip of your heels teeter on the edge of the desk as you force your legs apart, gaze thrown to the pen holder on the opposite side of where the camera phone is set to capture every angle of your disgraceful position.

a whimper escapes your mouth when you feel something touch you through your panties.

“i must say, i didn’t peg you for a lace girl, ___.” gone is the rage in his voice once you did what he asked and in its place, a deep, appreciative purr. as if it’s supposed to be a compliment.

“won’t you even look at me?” he sounds almost devastated, as if your silence and refusal physically hurts him.

“look at me!” he roars a second later, giving you no time to ponder nor prepare yourself for it.

you meet his gaze with furrowed brows and bitten lip, trying hard not to show how much they’re trembling.

“pretty,” he holds you by your jaw, turning your face to the left and then right, as if conducting some kind of observation, “if only i didn’t take rose as my secretary... we would’ve had so much fun, you and i.”

“i can ask to be transferred here! i’ll keep your secret. just please... don’t do this.” gaze boring into his with sheer disgust while you beg with desperation while the cold nips on your exposed legs.

at your words, his hand seems to stop just millimeters from your clit. as if he’s truly considering the offer. the heart that blooms with hope gets crushed in that same instant as a smile stretches across his face.

“you really think you’re in a position to be negotiating?”

nimble fingers pulls your panties to the side before you feel his digit teases you, “sweetheart, you’re dripping wet.”

as if only realizing the juices leaking down your ass and the full view he has, your legs start to close, only to be tightly gripped by his free hand. you wince. that’s going to leave a bruise.

but before you can think of what excuses you’d use to wear skirts longer than your usual mid-thigh ones, the sound of the zipper grazing as it gets pulled down - brushes your eardrums.

“no, please! i promise i’ll do anything! everything you want! just please! don’t!” s series of pleas pour out of your lips like a broken tap. you don’t realize you’re crying until yoongi’s tall, lean figure becomes blurred from the tears.

“shhh,” he coos, sweet as honey but pushes himself in to the hilt.

the sigh the leaves yoongi’s lips makes your stomach twist.

‘how can he enjoy this?’

your palms clasp over your face and eyes as tears wet your skin. your back is cold as you lose all energy to hold yourself up. your body shifts upwards with every thrust.

but it’s the way he slides right into you that burns you with self-loathe. the way the discomfort you felt in the beginning gradually morphs into flames of wonton as you taste blood in your mouth, biting on your lower lip as hard as you can to not make a sound.

because you’re not sure if it’s a plea for him to stop or a plea for him to fuck you harder that will come out.

and you silently sniffle as yoongi turns you on your side, bent over to hold your body that’s wrecked with sobs and pleasure. the groans that brush your ear sickens you to your stomach but makes you clench around him harder as you near your climax.

“don’t be shy, moan for me, sweetheart,” he says grunts, tugging on your wrist as if trying to get you to stop covering your face.

as if he wants to see you break. see the tears cascading down your cheeks. see the shamelessly pleasured face you’re making as your heart beat to the staccato of his thrusts.

“stop...” you whimper, “stop, please, don’t- stop- ah! oh!”

“what’s that? don’t stop?” he laughs, “i’m not wearing a condom though. you sure you want me to but a baby inside you?”

“fuck, just like that. yeah- yoongi-ah right there- oh!”

you should’ve kept your mouth shut. because once the moans pour out of your lips like an open floodgate, there’s no stopping the salacious sounds from filling the room.

you don’t even realize yoongi pushed you to lay on your back again. don’t even realize how your legs clench around his waist whilst your ankles lock together on his lower back as he fucks you raw like he’s never fucked a woman in a long time.

you don’t even realize your lipstick smudging that area on his shoulder as you bite into his flesh, unable to take the surge of ecstasy coursing through your veins before a scream scratches your throat, your back arching as you see stars behind your eyes.

the warmth of his cum spreads through your lower belly as you lay limply on the desk, muscles still twitching from the sparks of electricity of your after orgasm. your legs dangle off the edge of the desk, still parted and in full view of the cum that pours out of you and onto the carpeted floor.

it takes you what feels like hours to push yourself up. gather your broken pieces, put your panties back on and pat down your skirt, feeling the warm, sticky cum drip down your legs and soils your skirt.

the heat of yoongi’s gaze digs into your pores. even when you’re all dressed up like the way you first walked in and saw the open email of the files of the unaudited expenditure of the firm’s income and the forged one. underneath the email, signed victoria song, the head accountant.

“come on, i’ll drop you home.” he says, the blazer he tossed now draped over his arm.

it’s as if he didn’t just smirk as he rewatched the first few seconds of the video. the sound of your desperate pleading commanding the silence while you laid like a lifeless corpse on the desk, trying to make sense of what just happened.

he’s acting as if nothing happened.

“i’ll take catch a cab,” you send your thanks to the gods for venom in your voice and the glare in your gaze.

“i said,” his husks, ever so gently with a threat that he will have no problems executing, “i’ll take you home.”

the whole ride is silent save for the sound of your sniffles yoongi pretends not to hear.

how gentleman-ly of him.

when the car rolls to a stop in front of your apartment building, you meet his gaze with round, terrified eyes. heart palpitating uncontrollably as he smiles like he’s dropping off his girlfriend after a date.

“how do you know where i live?”

you were too busy wiping away stray tears and gazing out the window to worry about giving him directions.

supposed he doesn’t need it after all.

yoongi doesn’t answer. he dodges it as smoothly as he dives in for a kiss. you recoil, pushing yourself up against the door and as far away from him before realization hits you like a pang of ice cold water in winter.

the glint in yoongi’s eyes is telling enough that he isn’t pleased with the trick you just pulled.

even if it was no trick at all. even if you truly only want to leave.

but there’s a video of you in a phone stored inside his desk 20 minutes from here. and you’d be a fool to think he didn’t airdrop it to his personal phone when he was rewatching the video after that.

who knows how long it’ll take for it to hit the internet if you so much as piss him off more than you do now.

the answer is a no brainer.

in a matter of seconds, min yoongi could ruin your life and rebrand you as a licentious woman who sleeps her way to the top.

those pleas for him to stop?

easily overridden by the way you clung onto him like you don’t want to let go.

“sorry, i was just... surprised,” you blink back the tears, lips curling into one of your professional smiles, heart thumping at the way his expression lightens into a pleased one at your own change of expression.

with a trembling hand, you touch his cheek. it feels soft under your fingertip. you wonder how it’ll look if you’d graze it with your fingernails.

your lips brush his and your stomach knots in discomfort. he deepens the kiss, pulling you by your hair, tongue slipping past your lips, tasting the fear that lingers like an unspoken truth on your tongue.

but it’s the way your arms involuntarily wrap around yoongi’s shoulders, kissing him back without even a word of command - that’s what makes you want to hurl your insides out.

it’s the moan that slips past your lips that makes you push him away. eyes wide. you look at him like a deer caught in headlights.

“i-i’ll see you tomorrow.” it’s almost as if waiting for his reaction has become an instinct to you too fast and too soon.

“yeah, see you tomorrow,” when yoongi reaches out his hand and wipes away the corner of your mouth that might’ve been lipstick that got smudged from the kiss, you grope for the door handle.

and you slip out of the car and walk to the entrance of your apartment building, not looking up even when you hear the amicable “good evening, miss ___, working late, are we?” from the security.

you keep walking until you’re inside the elevator.

and only then do you let out a breath you didn’t know you’ve been holding. then the sob wrecks through your cold body.

funny how being trapped inside a metal box gives you more security than any human could provide.

[allisonxmoynihan]

illicit affairs ~ a. turcotte

Requested: yes | no

Song: this series is loosely inspired on Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift (you can listen here!) 

Note: okay this is my first time writing in months and i’m kind of scared about it, but please let me know your thoughts, opinions, feedback, whatever! Special thanks to @hockeyhughes11​ for helping me with this and reading it as I wrote, you rock!

Word Count: 2663

“y/n,” his shaky voice whispers hoarsely on the other side of the phone.

“Hey superstar!” you cheer, an inevitable smile fluttering across your lips, as you turn the tv off so you could hear him better, pressing the phone firmly against your ear as if not to miss a thing he says.

You hear a faint scoff in the background, “wanna come over?” he slurs, sending the butterflies racing in your stomach like the low hum of his voice always did.

You slowly release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding in, “not celebrating the big win with the boys? 3 goals and 2 assists and the superstar doesn’t want to party?” You joke with him while scrambling around your apartment searching for your sneakers and hunting for your keys.

You sense him smiling on the other line, “I got other things to attend to tonight, you know that,”

You feel your face grow hot as your breath hitches, “c’mon y/n, i’m dying to see you…” 

~*~

Work was an absolute blur, the grouchy morning rush of commuters flooded the coffee shop and it was nonstop brewing coffee and preparing breakfast sandwiches before they ran out the door to catch a train. You were thankful for the mid morning slump; middle aged women occupying tables and catching up on neighborhood gossip and reminiscing about their sorority days.

You look up from wiping down the espresso machine to see two boys, about your age, standing on the other side of the counter, wide smiles on their faces as they laughed with each other while sneaking glances at the menu.

“Hi, welcome to Aroma Mocha Cafe! What can I get started for you today?” You exclaim, a forced smile overtaking your face.

The dark haired boy steps forward, “hey, can I please get uhhh…” his voice trails off as he looks up at the menu before he looks back down, “uhh, the seasonal iced coffee?”

You smile, “sure thing, our seasonal flavors are lavender vanilla or salted caramel, which one can I get for you?” 

You watch his face as he contemplates which one, “oh, you can’t go wrong with salted caramel!”

“Alright, your total today is going to be $2.57,” The boy quickly takes out a $5 bill and instructs you to keep the change before moving over to the pick-up counter.

As you’re preparing the two drinks for the boys you can’t help but overhear the small fragments of their conversation you can make out.

“Bro, c’mon, just ask for her number,”

“Trev, I said no.”

“You’ve been…. All… you… Alex”

“No”

“I will then”

You put the drinks down in front of them, “enjoy! Napkins and straws are straight ahead by the door,”

As you’re cleaning up your station, the dark haired boy comes back up to the counter and you feel his eyes on you before you look up and smile, “can I get you anything else? Our seasonal scones pair nicely with the coffee,”

“I’m Alex,” he says awkwardly, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

You nod slowly, “that’s nice…”

“We should get dinner one day,” he suggests, and when he’s met with your silence and a blank stare he adds, “you know, cuz you’re cool.”

“Oh, um, thanks, but I really can’t,”

Alex nods, looking at the pastry display case for a few minutes, “well can I at least get your number?”

You notice a group of moms, the weekly book club group, walk in the door and head up to the counter. “Alex, I’m really sorry, but it just can’t happen,”

Alex nods, looking back up at the menu, “so, uh, how long you work here?”

One of the book club moms offers you a sympathetic smile as she turns to talk with one of her friends, “Alex, I’m sorry, but we have a lot of customers right now, so if you’re not go-”

“What, am I not a customer?” he interrupts, and you breathe out heavily in annoyance.

“What can I get for you?”

“A date,” he offers with a shy, boyish smile, his dimples becoming apparent.

You sigh, scribbling your number down on a piece of paper, “fine, but only because I want you to leave me alone.”

~*~

Cold, faint rain ricocheted off of the windows of your bedroom as you crawl onto Alex’s lap, his lips nipping at your neck bound to leave marks that you’d have to figure out how to cover the next day. 

His hands slide underneath your sweater and rest gently on your hip, “no one’s home, right?” he whispers, his lips vibrating against your skin.

You rest your hands on his bare chest, feeling his heart pound against the skin, “we’re all alone baby,” you murmur, pressing your lips to his once again.

He effortlessly lifts you up and lays you down on your bed, suddenly towering over you, “you know i scored the game winning goal today” He smiles cockily.

You look into his dark brown eyes, feeling a blush creep over you, “oh and how should we celebrate, superstar?”

He chuckles softly before leaning down and kissing down your jaw, slowly removing your shirt from your body, “i got a few ideas in mind,”

Within seconds he’s on top of you, one hand kneading your breasts, the other slipping underneath your leggings and collecting your wetness. 

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” he asks, sliding your leggings and panties down your legs as your legs fall open for him and he begins to kiss down your abdomen.

You writhe underneath him and let out a gasp as his tongue licks up your folds. You run your hand through his luscious locks as he picks up his pace and begins to work at your clit. You buck your hips up as you moan out with pleasure.

“So good for me you pretty girl,” he grumbles against your dripping pussy, slipping three fingers into you, his calloused fingers pumping in and out of you. You felt a knot forming in your stomach and knew you were close.

“Alex, please, faster,” you moan, only alex lifts his head and kisses back up your torso before placing a sloppy kiss to your lips, sucking on his fingers. 

“I want you babygirl,” he mumbles as your hands fumble with the zipper on his jeans, helping him slide out of his boxers. Without any warning alex pushes into you, his thrusts harsh and fast. The room is filled with the sound of both your moans, his thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier. And when you both reach out your highs he slows his pace to drag out your orgasm, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Such a beautiful girl,” he hums, sliding off the bed and redressing before looking over at the clock.

You suddenly feel vulnerable and exposed, bringing your blanket up to cover yourself as Alex approaches the door, “I’ll be seeing you princess,”

You wave sheepishly at the closed bedroom door that he just escaped behind, sighing at how foolish you are, how you would consistently drop everything to be there for him. You think back to the hundreds of other nights spent like this, the two of you having your moment, and him bolting as soon as he decides it’s over leaving no trace behind. 

You sit in your dark room, convinced alex does love you deep down, that he’s different and not the kind of guy that shows up on your doorstep just for sex. But you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that sometimes, you felt as if you were a pawn in his game. 

You think back to your first “date” with him, how you were defiant and didn’t want to go, but how 10 minutes quickly turned into an hour and that hour was suddenly six. He made you feel special, like you were on top of the world, like you could be something more than just a barista in a busy city. You reminisce about the time you and alex once dreamt up a future together: a small cottage in minnesota, three kids running wild in the yard after a long day at the beach. You wipe away tears that happen to fall as you realize what you’ve been trying to fight for months: you were in love with him, and you could only hope that you actually meant something to him.

~*~

The crackling noise of the firewood and the light tunes of your favorite band filled your living room where you and your best friends sat binge watching the latest reality tv episode. You lean forward to grab an oreo off the plate on the coffee table, breaking it in half and eating the side without cream first.

“You know the guy I matched with on tinder the other night?” maddie asks, taking her phone out. You and christine hum in unison.

“So, i was curious and went to look at his instagram, and…” her voice trails off as she scrolls through her phone’s home screen, “here i’ll just show you.” 

You lean back on the sofa, running your hands through your hair, “how bad is it?”

“You really gotta get better taste, if i see one more picture of a guy holding a fish i’m going to lose it,” Christine laughs, grabbing an oreo for herself.

“Oh shit,” maddie whispers

“What?” you and christine ask impatiently

“Hey, uh, y/n, isn’t this the guy from the coffee shop? Mr. I want a date and I refuse to leave this shop until I get your number?” she laughs, and you instantly reach to take her phone from her hands desperate for any opportunity to see him, but when you see the picture your face falls and you can feel the color drain. “It was on my explore page…” maddie adds, reaching for her phone but you turn away continuing to look down at the screen.

There he was. Your superstar. Wide grin, dimples present, his hair still wet and curling loosely at the ends, his button down shirt wrinkled and exposing his upper chest. His arm wrapped tightly around a girl’s tiny waist, her pressing her lips firmly against his cheek, cupping his face in her perfect hands. 

You swallow the lump that formed in your throat, scoffing as you toss maddie her phone back, “so? He was just a normal customer, never even took me on that date he insisted on” you lie, turning your attention back to the tv.

Your mind is racing and the conversation between the other girls is drowned out by the flood of thoughts running through your mind. Alex was so much more than just the coffee shop boy, he meant everything to you, he was the only person that could make you feel whole and complete. You hated being a secret to him especially when he consumed every single one of your thoughts, you wished you could be the girl that meant something to him, the one to wear his jerseys at his games as you cheer him on, the one who goes out with his teammates after a big win, the one who gets to go home with him for the holidays to meet his family and fall in love with them for raising the man of your dreams. But you weren’t that girl. You weren’t her and you never would be her.

Later that night you go to alex’s instagram, and it’s as if you got fifty punches right to the gut all over again. Alex was happy with her. Hannah. That was her name. Alex was happy with hannah. You continue to scroll down his page and see that hannah first appeared on his page six months ago. The two of them pressed up against each other in the dim light of a bar, him leaning down and kissing her cheek. You laugh sadly at how stupid you were thinking that what you had with him was real and that you were anything more than someone to help fill a void. Your phone lights up with an incoming call, alex’s name appearing.

“Hey superstar!” you cheer, forcing a smile.

“Hey you,” he grins, “i was just thinking about you actually, can i come over?”

You say yes without hesitation, and that’s when you realize that you would continue ruining yourself for his sake as long as it meant he was going to stay in your life. You’d do anything to make him stay.

~*~

Work was a hassle, the coffee shop getting slammed with the drop of the holiday drinks, the city streets constantly bustling with tourists and holiday shoppers trying to find the best deals. You were excited to finally have a weekend off to just relax and have no worries. You approach your apartment door and smell the savory aroma of food cooking, and you're confused since you live alone.

You cautiously push open the door, peeking into the kitchen as a smile blossoms on your face. “Alex!” you cheer, running up to hug him as he peppers your face with kisses. 

You pull away from him, setting your bag on the kitchen table, “what are you doing here?”

He turns his attention back to the stove, “well, i know you’ve been stressed with work and school lately, so I thought i’d do something nice for you,”

Your heart swells and you begin to feel all warm and fuzzy, “i don’t deserve you,” 

He laughs, “go change and get comfy, dinner will be ready soon. It’s your favorite and I also brought your favorite movies.”

You smile to yourself as you walk into your bedroom, putting on your pajamas and walking back out to see alex has prepared two identical plates, “ready?” he asks, a boyish smile on his face.

The night is filled with the two of you snuggled into each other’s sides on the couch, laughing at all the same parts of the movies, crying at other parts, making jokes here and there, and planning a getaway trip to a small coastal town. After three movies, and the sun long gone, the soft beat of his heart begins to lull you to sleep.

“You sleepy princess?” he asks softly, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to your bed.

You’re half asleep as he tucks you in and presses a kiss to your forehead, “sleep well baby”

You reach your arms out for him, “you’re not going to stay with me tonight?” your voice is sad, not wanting this picture perfect night to end.

You hear him laugh as he runs his finger up and down your hand, pressing a light kiss to the top of it, “not tonight princess, i’ll call you tomorrow though.”

“Promise?”

“I cross my heart and hope to die,”

“Good,” you mumble, turning over and getting comfortable.

There’s a long silence and you know he’s still in the room since the hallway light is peeking into your room. And you can’t help but fall asleep happy, thinking that life is finally going right and you have the best guy by your side.

“I love you…” 

You hear the floorboards shift under his weight and just like that he’s escaped into the abyss of the night, just like he always does. 

~*~

“So you coming over or what?” he repeats, a harsh undertone suddenly appearing.

You smile, impatiently pressing the elevator button over and over again because it never seems to come quick enough, “uh, yeah, yeah, I’m on my way. I was thinking, we could maybe watch that movie you were talking ab-”

His deep voice cuts you off, his usually kind and patient tone now stern, “we need to talk.”

You stare at your reflection in the elevator door as your face falls, trying to fight the inevitable tears that spring to your eyes, and you just know tonight isn’t going to be like the others.

[homeformyheart]

hopeless - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: i’m not sure if this fits into the same universe my other platinum fics take place in but i had fun with it. i hope you enjoy!

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. songs and lyrics owned by their respective creators. series/pairing: platinum – m!raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian); red carpet diaries cross-over – matt rodriguez x cadence dorian rating/warnings: 14+; swearing, descriptions of drinking, minor angst word count: 2.6k based on/prompt: “all you had to do was stay” by taylor swift / “secret love song pt ii” by little mix summary: news of cadence’s engagement makes raleigh and cadence revisit the way they left things.

hopeless

when cadence flew out to los angeles to secretly film music videos for her entire album, the last thing she expected was that she would get engaged. but here she was, in as private of a spot as one could find in the city of stars, with the matt rodriguez in front of her on one knee with a beautiful vintage-inspired octagonal diamond ring. no one was around except for a private photographer he hired so that they could control what made it to the press.

“cadence dorian, will you marry me?”

she knew what her answer should be. after all, her and raleigh had officially called it quits eight months ago. operative word being “officially.” it didn’t take long before she was introduced to matt when he was cast in her music video and raleigh’s label paired him off with some up-and-coming actress.

cadence fought to stay present and hoped that matt would think the tears forming in her eyes was because she was overwhelmed, when in reality, she was thinking back on the last time she spoke to raleigh.

6 months ago

“i don’t know if i can do this anymore,” cadence whispered. they had publicly broken up two months ago but were still carrying on in private whenever they could. “everytime i see you, a part of me dies a little more. all we have are these stolen moments, which won’t last once one of us has to go on tour again.”

those stolen moments included spending a few hours late at night in his bedroom a few nights a week, but whenever cadence struggled with feeling like she was a shameful secret, raleigh would cave and take her out as long as they both wore disguises. tonight was one such night and leave it to raleigh to find the one club in new york city that wouldn’t be packed with celebrities on a saturday night.

cadence saw raleigh’s grip on the steering wheel tighten as he drove them back to her apartment. her eyes welled up with tears and she let them fall down her face, ruining her makeup, as she sat silently in the passenger seat.

“don’t do this now, please. we had a nice time tonight, didn’t we?”

cadence pulled the long, curly-haired wig off her head and threw it onto the dash. “i want to hold you in the street, and kiss you on the dance floor. i should be able to shout it from the rooftops. why can’t it be like that?”

“cadence, you know it’s to protect you. you’re just starting out and i’m not going to ruin that for you… we— we can’t,” raleigh said, his throat tight and voice shaky as if he was afraid of where the conversation was going.

“i don’t want to live love like this. i don’t want to hide us away, constantly wondering if it will ever change,” cadence said sadly, drying her eyes with the back of her hands, ignoring the streaks of makeup now staining her skin.

raleigh pulled into the underground garage of her building and parked the car. he reached over to hold her hand in both of his and cadence felt a sob escape her.

“you mean the world to me, cadence. i want more than anything to show you off as my girlfriend, but we have to be careful for a while longer.” he gave her a dazzling smile, but she knew his heart wasn’t in it.

“i wish we could be like that, raleigh. but it’s obvious that it won’t happen and i can’t keep going on like this. i’m sorry,” cadence sobbed, pulling her hand from his and trying to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

cadence stepped out of the car and toward the elevators as raleigh looked on in stunned silence. she didn’t look back because she knew if she did, she’d want to run right back to him.

“cadence?”

she was brought back to the moment by the sound of matt’s voice and all she could do was nod and smile and let the rest of her tears “of joy” stream down her face as matt wrapped his arms around her and spun her around.

* * * * * raleigh looked out the window of his penthouse apartment with a glass of mezcal in his hand. against his better judgment, he scanned tabloid headlines earlier that day when a photo of cadence caught his eye. the photos made it look like she was cozying up to matt rodriguez in los angeles. raleigh prided himself on being around long enough in the industry that he could spot a tabloid relationship in two seconds, but there was something about how cadence looked in those photos that made him pause.

it was clear she was having fun and enjoying herself in the photos. he recognized the look on her face when she was mid-laugh and the cheek-hurting smile she had on reminded him of the beginning of their tabloid relationship over a year and a half ago now. but even back then, raleigh knew there was something special about cadence, something that he wanted to be real, something that made him blur the lines that defined his fake relationships in the past.

he looked at his watch and knew he needed to head out if he was going to make it to the event at a reasonable time. he knew cadence would be there and while he was fine with their recent game of avoiding each other at public events, he needed to run into her tonight. he gulped down the rest of his drink and walked out of his apartment. time to get some answers.

* * * * * his eyes zeroed in on cadence the second she walked into the room. she was wearing a gorgeous gold dress that no doubt was made for her given how it fit her every curve perfectly and showed off her shoulders and collarbone. raleigh felt his body temperature rise as he pictured ripping her hair out of its pinned updo and sucking at the sensitive spots on her neck and collarbone that he knew so well.

either he had been staring for too long or cadence sensed his presence because she looked over in his direction. they locked eyes and it was as if the entire room faded away; raleigh held her gaze, almost daring her to break eye contact first. which, she did, but not before she flashed him a look that he couldn’t quite place – apologetic? regret? embarrassment? whatever it was, it fled her features faster than he could blink. he wasn’t given any time to think about it as the tinkling sound of utensil against glass somehow seemed to drown out the conversations around him.

he looked around quickly and didn’t see any food so where the fuck did people get utensils? and more importantly, why didn’t he have a drink in his hand yet? not that he was eager to join in what was inevitably a toast to the couple of the hour.

“if i could have everyone’s attention,” the host of the party spoke over the din, smiling warmly. raleigh didn’t miss the way matt held out his arm toward cadence or the way she tucked hers into the crook of his elbow seamlessly while looking up at him with that beautiful smile radiating off her face.

“cadence and i want to thank all of you for coming out to celebrate our engagement.”

raleigh tuned matt out for the rest of the toast and looked at cadence incredulously. he glanced down at her hand that was wrapped around matt’s arm and could make out a glittering diamond ring on her finger. how had he not noticed that? and more importantly, how could cadence not have given him a heads up? he had assumed the relationship was for publicity and that somehow, when her career was more established, they would find their way back together.

he watched as cadence waved to the crowd before walking up the steps to the makeshift stage and seating herself behind the sleek black baby grand piano. raleigh was mostly sure that his jaw hadn’t dropped and his eyes hadn’t widened, but he was still too stunned to check.

“people like you always want back the love they gave away,” cadence started singing, her soulful voice ringing clearly through the speakers, “and people like me wanna believe you, when you say you’ve changed.”

raleigh had heard this song several times already, it was cadence’s number one single off her upcoming album, which he presumed had plenty of references to their relationship. but he didn’t care. the only thing he had ever truly wanted in his life besides his freedom from sunset skatepark was sitting up on that stage singing her heart out.

the room broke out into loud applause and cadence bowed before stepping off the stage. raleigh felt his feet propel him toward her and barely registered that he was standing in front of her until she looked up and said his name.

“raleigh?”

“can we talk?” he asked. she nodded and he followed her to a dressing room just outside the ballroom and locked the door behind him.

cadence crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. “what did you want to talk about?”

raleigh gave her a long, scrutinizing look. “i guess congratulations are in order. i would’ve appreciated a heads up.”

“we’re not in a relationship anymore, raleigh, you made sure of that. i didn’t realize we still owed things to each other,” cadence snapped, eyes blazing.

“cadence, you know that’s not fair. you know i care about you and was trying to protect you,” raleigh hated that he was pleading.

“i didn’t ask you to protect me, i asked you to be with me. you had me in the palm of your hand, raleigh.”

raleigh’s fingers itched to reach out and hold her close to him, to have his body envelop hers in that way where she fit so naturally, it made you wonder if his body was made to hold hers. “i figured we’d end up together again, once your career was more established.”

cadence blinked in surprise and her eyes softened. raleigh had never given her any indication that he had thought that far ahead regarding their future, at least not seriously anyway. “oh, raleigh. i think it’s hopeless. we just weren’t meant to work out,” she sighed and walked past him to open the door.

“do you love him?” raleigh asked quietly. he glanced away once before looking at her, an almost imperceptible sign that gave away the fact that he was nervous. cadence knew this sign well and a sharp pain and sense of longing tugged at her heart.

“of course, i’m marrying him,” she replied, dropping her gaze. he was looking at her so intensely, she felt like he would see right through her. she turned around and walked out the door.

raleigh followed her and turned her back around to face him. “no, look me in the eye and tell me that you love him,” raleigh demanded firmly, grabbing her chin gently and lilting her face up so she was looking up at him.

“raleigh, i—”

“cadence, babe? there’s someone i want you to meet,” matt called out from behind her, cutting her off.

she gave her best apologetic look to raleigh and said, “i better go.”

as she turned around, he grabbed her hand gently and whispered in her ear, “you haven’t answered my question yet.”

cadence chose to ignore him as she followed matt to the other side of the room, toward his hollywood friends, all of whom she had met before. they ducked behind the group inconspicuously.

“are you okay? things looked a bit tense,” matt asked softly once he was sure that his friends were effectively blocking cadence from raleigh’s view.

5 months ago

“are you okay? you look a bit tense,” matt said, his tone friendly and free of judgment, which cadence appreciated.

“my publicist wants us to be in a fake relationship. i’m just tired of that sort of thing and thought she’d be a little more understanding since it hasn’t been that long since my last relationship ended.”

matt looked at her thoughtfully. “i gathered that most of the songs we filmed these music videos for were about at least one past relationship, but they were all about the same guy, weren’t they?”

cadence nodded, somewhat grateful that she was feeling too down to feel embarrassed that matt figured out she was still pining for raleigh.

“well, why don’t we try dating for real? it might help you move on and we’d still give our publicists the public relationship they want,” matt suggested. “and who knows? if everything goes well, we can even get engaged.”

cadence was surprised at the sincerity in matt’s voice. she tilted her head as she considered what he was really suggesting. “that would definitely catch everyone’s attention. okay, let’s do it.”

“i’m fine. mission accomplished,” she said, giving him a half-hearted smile.

“it’s not over until it’s over,” matt said, caressing his thumb over the diamond on her finger. “but maybe it’s time to make it official.”

cadence wrapped her arms around him and let herself be comforted by matt’s strong, warm body. “thanks matt. i’ll see you later.”

raleigh watched cadence make her way to the exit before following as quickly as he could. he meant it when he said he was going to get answers. by the time he made it outside, she was nowhere in sight. but he wasn’t going to give up. he flagged down the nearest cab and gave them instructions to her apartment.

when he arrived, he made his way to her unit and hesitated for a beat in front of her door. did he really want to do this? hear that she was in love with another man and was planning on marrying someone that was not him? did he no longer have a chance; was it really hopeless? raleigh lowered his hand briefly as he thought through a scenario where she was lost to him forever.

he let himself wallow for barely a minute before shaking his head angrily. cadence owed him a clear answer. and he at least owed her the truth about his feelings. he knocked twice and pressed his ear to the door. her apartment had a fairly thin door and he could only hear dead air. she probably hadn’t gotten home yet. raleigh took off his jacket and made himself comfortable on the floor. he would wait for however long it took.

cadence looked out the window of the cab as it approached raleigh’s brooklyn neighborhood. she felt a wave of nostalgia come over her at the familiar street lamps and buildings they passed. once they arrived, she quickly ducked inside the building and made her way to the elevator. there were two penthouse units on the top floor and cadence stood outside raleigh’s, suddenly wishing she had changed out of the ridiculous glittery gold dress and heels into something more casual. she steeled herself and held her chin up as she knocked on the door. after a beat, she knocked again, louder, just in case he left and went home after their brief interaction earlier than night. she hadn’t seen him leave the event and figured she might have to wait. she bunched up the skirt of her dress so she could sit on the fabric and took off her heels, sighing with relief. now all she had to do was wait.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801; @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @robintora;

[hinac0lada]

LET’S FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT

900 SPECIAL  — LET’S FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT

CHARACTER PAIRING: AKAASHI KEIJI X READER

WARNINGS: none

ALEX’S NOTE: hello lovely people! me and riss would like to thank you for helping us reach 900!! thank you all for appreciating our works and giving it some love. to compensate, i decided to post this song fic i made which was inspired by FINNEAS’ - Let’s Fall In Love For The Night  . if you can, please do listen to it while reading the fic, enjoy!

"he broke up with me, i should've seen this coming" i heard you say, a dry laugh coming from the other line, and then silence. i fiddled around with my fingers, worried about your state of mind. i knew this was coming, you were blinded with the love you had for that douche, but i could never blame you for loving someone. it was his fault, after all, for not seeing how amazing you are.

i sighed at the sound of your sobs that you struggled to suppress. we've been in situations like these before where you'd call me in the middle of the night after a heated argument, while i try to convince you to at least take a break from your relationship, but then i fail miserably because you adored that son of a gun too much. and in the end, you'd tell me you'll endure the pain until you couldn't.

i should get used to it by now, but no matter how repetitive this circumstance gets, i could still feel my blood boil every time i imagine the sight of you, sobbing on the floor of your shared apartment in a dimly lit room, all alone. all because of your loving boyfriend.

"k-keiji, i should've listened t-to you..i prepared for this moment, but why does it still hurt?" you managed to let out in between your whimpers. i could hear my heart crack, how could i let this happen to you? this was by far the worst you've ever been in— the lowest of the lows, and i don't want you to be like this anymore. and so, unlike most lonely nights, this time, i'll be by your side.

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"w-what do i do now, keiji? he wants me to move out . ."

"..you can stay with me for a while, and i'm not taking no for an answer, (y/n)."

"..alright alright, thank you so much keiji, i owe you one."

"no problem. now pack your bags, i'll pick you up at 25."

i know it was impulsive of me— maybe even thoughtless as i've forgotten i made plans with bokuto tonight, but i can't just let you swim in your own tears. i want to help you mend your heart, which i should've done long ago .

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exactly 25 minutes later, i arrive in front of the apartment complex you once shared with your— now ex— lover. your tear-stained face, accompanied with puffy red eyes that usually radiated joy was filled with deep melancholy, a complete contrast to your lively visual.

i hastily got out of the car, intending to help you with your luggage until i was greeted with a tight embrace, you clung onto me as though your life depended on it, with your face buried in my chest.

your tears poured like waterfalls, soaking my shirt. but i didn't mind, this was nothing but a piece of fabric compared to how much i value you. but how could he let you, a literal angel— a goddess if you will, disregard you just like that? how could he turn a blind eye to your selflessness just for his selfish desires?

i regained my composure, gently wrapping my arms around your quivering figure, shaking from your uncontrollable sobs. i caressed your hair and rubbed soothing circles on your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear in an attempt to calm your frustrations.

i know you're trying your best not to burst right then and there, in the front passenger seat of my car. the drive was tranquil yet i could feel the slow, burning tension. i could sense the way you're choking back the lump in your throat from how loud your heart thumped in your eardrums while you tried distracting yourself by looking out at the city lights as they passed by in a blur.

i reached out for your hand while my other kept steady on the steering wheel, keeping my focus on the road. a smile made its way onto my lips, eyeing your flushed cheeks from the corner of my eyes. "let's forget about that jerk for now. why don't we have fun tonight?" i questioned, coming to a halt once the traffic light flashed red.

my gaze shifts from the road to your expression, feeling the heavy weight on my chest uplift, relieved to finally see you grinning. pools of (e/c) getting more vibrant every second, your grip on my hand tightening. a glimpse of green flared— a 'go' signal.

as if on queue, the radio played your favorite song, making me quietly sing along, hoping you would join in eventually. and when you did, the atmosphere shifted into a more gleeful one, the car ride filled to the brim with singing and laughter, your honey coated voice sounding like a beautiful song that i would never get tired of.

i still don't know how we went from eating to our heart's content, to end up doing karaoke. purple and pink neon lights set the mood of the room, your voice echoed throughout the small space, swaying your hips to the beat.

you're such a strong person, it's crazy. it's like the heartache you felt just hours ago, never was there in the first place. i've always admired how even if you went through the depths of hell and back, at the end of the day, you'd pick yourself back up and stay optimistic through your hardships.

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"keiji come on, sing with me!"

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you snapped me out of my thoughts and tugged me towards you, handing me a microphone. your sunny disposition has a way of rubbing off on those around you. i'm not one to let loose easily, but miraculously, it only takes you to let out this side of mine. it started off as just you, but then it transitioned to a duet. and now we're having a full blown mini concert.

the night was still young, we're unproblematic and carefree, not caring of what lies ahead for tomorrow. will we ever know?

"sometimes i wishhis mom just swallowed him.."

"y/n!"

"what? you'd wish the same too.."

"..yeah, you're not wrong about that"

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you cackled while i chuckled along with you. it's 1 am and we got back with a tub of ice cream which we impulsively bought after the karaoke session. we sat on the couch in our pajamas, putting on a random TV show even though we weren't planning on watching, instead, i opted to listen to you venting about your ex, making commentary here and there.

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"looking back, i don't really know what i saw in that jerk.."

"i guess you could say, love does make you go blind"

"does love make you blind, or is love blind?"

"i don't know, maybe both?"

time flew by fast and all our nonsense to intellectual conversations resulted in us trying to finish the gallon of ice cream while watching some TV series. i observed your eyes trying to blink away the feeling of tiredness, the activities of today starting to wear you down and make you lethargic. your constant yawning and droopy eyelids was a dead give away, you were like a child trying to stay awake.

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"you're too resilient, you need to get your rest soon."

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i chuckled quietly at your 23rd yawn, you rubbed your eyes sleepily. i turned the tv off before i led you to the guest bedroom, with your presence trailing behind me. upon entering, you settled down in the bed, arranging the pillows and sheets to your liking.

"well, i hope you have a good night's rest, y/n," i began to take my leave, heading for the door, however, i was stopped when you grabbed onto my wrist. i looked over my shoulder to meet your pleading eyes, those eyes that i could never resist. "keiji, i don't think i'd be able to sleep by myself tonight.."

"i-i mean..you don't have to stay the whole night if you don't want to, i just, really need someone's presence right now, at least until i fall asleep." you struggled maintaining eye contact with me, your cheeks vividly tinted with pink despite the dimly lit room. i was reluctant at first, not because i don't want to, but because it was quite unexpected.

"hm? ..sure, since you asked. i won't turn you down, ever." with that being said, i slowly but hesitantly got in the sheets, while you shifted, trying to get in a comfortable position. it was all foreign to me, feeling someone's warmth beside me in this cold bed, but i eventually got used to it. we laid there in silence, enjoying each other's company as we tried to doze off.

"i'm so stupid." i looked at you, a rueful smile displaying your beautiful features as you glanced up at the ceiling of my apartment room. i hummed in response, a sign for you to elaborate. in my eyes, you're definitely nowhere near stupid.

"so stupid for ever choosing someone i love rather than someone who loved me. an imbecile not to realize he's right beside me through everything. the highest form of stupidity, was when i kept denying my feelings for you all this time."

is this a dream? i must be dreaming, right? if it was, i never ever want to wake up.

"the look on your face definitely tells me you think this is a dream, am i right or am i right?"

you turned on your side to face me, the once bittersweet smile replaced by your signature cheeky grin. i felt my breath hitch, our faces just inches away from each other.

with your features up close, it was much more breathtaking than it already was from before. i want to say something, but why can't i?

"k-keiji, i know this is sudden, and maybe you've moved on and all, i can't blame you if you did. if it isn't too late, maybe we could fall in love for th-"

i crashed my lips with yours, cutting you off mid sentence whilst gently cupping your face in my hands. i feel your hands making its way to my hair, gently brushing through and tugging at it.

what am i doing? what has gotten into me? but whatever this is, i hope you and i never regret this night, or any nights we spent together. i know better than to ever call you mine, but maybe this time, this moment at least, i have the chance to. is it too selfish of me to think that?

we eventually pulled away, catching our breaths, in the process, my eyes never left yours. to tell you the truth, i'm the fool, the stupid one. stupid for running away from my feelings, stupid for not taking the risk and tell you how much i've loved you ever since. but it's better late than never,

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". . how about we fall in love for the rest of our lives?"

GENERAL TAGLIST: 

@pyblos​ @some-oxymoron​ @kxgeyamasmilk​ @kunimwuah​ @hakueishirei​ @rollingthundaa​

[vminity21]

Hold Your Hand Again | jjk

Pairing: Student!Jungkook x Female!Reader, BestFriend!Jimin x Reader, ExBoyfriend!Namjoon x Reader, school!au

Genre: fluff/angst

Word Count: 2,369

Warning: none really, just angst revolving a past relationship, rating: pg

Summary: You are a busy bee, with a best friend, who gets your heart broken by an ex-boyfriend who happens to move on much quicker than you expected. Unbeknownst to you, someone who you happen to get partnered with, understands exactly what you’re going through, foreshadowing what will potentially be the most beautiful relationship you truly deserve.

With squinted eyes you observe the batter, sucking in your lips, concentration reflecting off your expression while the audience watches in hushed murmurs. All eyes are on you- both teams in a tie- if this batter hits a home run, the team will leave with triumphant smiles, shouting in victory whilst you slump in defeat. Though the pressure of striking out the opposing team weighs heavy, you brush it off, shrugging your shoulders once before posing, swinging your arm rapidly before tossing the ball toward the umpire.

"Strike one!" is yelled, you roll your neck from side to side, a breath of relief escapes momentarily before you ready yourself for the next throw. Despite today's events, you can't escape the list of things you still need to do this evening. With a new choir song being introduced tomorrow as well as the dance competition next weekend, you have hardly caught a breath; yet, the busy life is all you can be grateful for. Especially with the way, things have been going with-

"Strike two!" The bat nearly blows the ball out of the park but by one split second, the opposite team member misses- your heart racing within you, you furrow your eyebrows, sweat beading along your forehead, the sun beaming down onto the field relentlessly making its presence known. This is it, you add mentally, This. Is. It.

With one fast swoop, the ball lands in the umpire's mitt, "STRIKE THREE!" When the audience rejoices with upraising 'hoots' and 'hollers', you, with a wide smile, bend forward, your hands resting on your knees, the adrenaline gradually leaving your frame. The team members crash into you, clinging onto you tightly- abruptly, you're raised into the air, rump landing on a strong shoulder, smiling down to reveal your ecstatic best friend, Park Jimin, pumping a free fist in the air. Eyes panning the audience, you search for the one person you hoped kept their word. When your smile falls, thankfully nobody notices, your heart shatters, eyelids brim with warm tears. Jimin sets you down, you trying to get lost in the elation encircling you without exposing one ounce of pain.

If Namjoon thinks he is redeeming himself, he really thought wrong.

Black and white pictures align your bedroom walls; pictures that hold the memories of your friends and family, adventures you've been on, even random pictures of dance routines you've been a part of, or solos given to you in chorus class. Though Spongebob plays in the background to prevent complete silence, you wipe away at the tears threatening to spill onto your desk, refusing to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror. Namjoon's called twice since you've been home, and you have already reviewed through the musical notes, though your brain can hardly concentrate on anything but your now ex-boyfriend.

When the loud vibration of your phone sounds again, you sniffle, raising your head just enough to see who is calling. "Jimin," you murmur. Grabbing your phone in one swift movement, you answer trying to suppress the thickness in your voice from the crying,

"Alright," Jimin echoes through the phone line, "What's wrong?" Jimin is the Patrick to your Spongebob, the two of you have been best friends since elementary school- the brother you've never had, but always wanted.

"Excuse me, Mister Intuitive," you let out a breathy laugh, wincing at the loud sniffle that sounds in order to clear your nostrils. "Let's get straight to the point, huh?"

"[Y/N], if he hurt you, I'm going to-"

"Chim," you interrupt, slamming your eyes shut from the pain overriding your countenance, "I don't want to talk about it,"

"[Y/N], seriously, you can't keep things bottled up so much, it's unhealthy,"

"I get it, Chim, but right now's just-"

"Not the right time," silence floods the line, you hear Jimin's muffled sigh of frustration, "I just want you to be okay. He's hurt you way too much, and you just keep letting him." You pinch the bridge of your nose, shoulders trembling from fighting the sobs you manage to repress all too well.

"Chim," but that's when your voice breaks, Jimin's heart nearly falls to his feet.

"I'm coming over," is all he says. Showing up at your door within twenty minutes, Jimin envelops you in a tight hug, you burying your face into his shoulder, "I don't know about you, but I'm in the mood for some-"

"SpumBom?" Your muffled voice causes a wide smile to spread on Jimin's face.

"Yes, yes that's exactly it, SpumBom and Packwit," when he follows you to the living room, he settles beside you on the couch, "By the way have you practiced any of the choreography for next week?"

"Uh," you draw out, "Kinda,"

Jimin's eyes widen, "You know this is like, a mid-term grade right,"

"I know, I know," you swat your hand at him, "I just- I've been busy,"

"I'm aware," Jimin narrows his eyes, observing the way you avoid his gaze, "And tomorrow Mr. Kim is assigning us partners for the spring concert. Same with Mr. Jung. If I were you, I'd start stepping."

You, exasperated, bury your face in your hands, "Why can't you let me slack for five seconds,"

"Because that's not the [Y/N] I know and love," Jimin's teasing glare lifts your spirits, nudging his shoulder with yours.

"Love you, too you brute."

The morning comes fast, you rushing to class close to breathless, hair swaying behind you until your steps come to a halt. Setting your bag at the back of the classroom, you swivel around, hearing Mr. Kim Seokjin announce that the partner assignments are listed on the whiteboard. The vibrant pink paper is taped high enough for everyone to see it, though you with crossed arms stand before it, eyes searching until you find your name.

"Jeon Jungkook," you whisper, tilting your head in surprise. Jungkook is the most well-known singer and dancer of the entire school, Jimin being right behind him hence why you and Jimin tend to practice together though with everything that's been going on with Namjoon has ceased that for the time being, you can't help but curiously scan the classroom your eyes finding the slim figure of Jungkook; his hands in the pockets of black slacks, dawning a light brown shirt that sits loosely along his torso, gold earrings decorate his ear lobes, green strands blend into his dark hair covering his forehead as he searches along the list of names. You're staring, not noticing how long you've remained standing there, letting the wonder of him captivate you in a way you don't understand. As if he feels your gaze, his eyes catch yours, timorously bowing in your direction, your cheeks flushing with the chagrin clouding your features.

"Alright, class! As soon as you find your partner, please take a seat so we can begin."

Gulping, you follow the teacher's directions, shoulders tensing when Jungkook relaxes into the seat beside you. Timidly, he peeks over at you, "Hello, I'm Jungkook," he offers his hand formally, you return it much quicker than you anticipate.

"And, I'm [Y/N]," you take note of the way his thin lips fall into a kind grin, small dimples forming on his cheeks, shy, brown eyes bore into yours, even the sharpness of his jawline...

You look away the moment a student slaps the new music sheet onto your lap. Realizing it's Jimin, you playfully glare at him- Jimin chuckling to himself until all the music sheets have been handed to the other pupils. When he settles in his seat, you notice Jimin has been partnered with your acquaintance LenLen- someone he's had a crush on since the beginning of time prompting you to sneak him a text with emojis indicating that you're aware of his current partnership. Of course, when Jimin sends you the 'eye roll', you stifle the giggles wanting to erupt.

The second class ends, you rush to your bag, slinging it behind your shoulder, immediately heading in the direction of your next class. What you see nearly knocks you off your feet, heart tearing in half as your pained gaze is fixated on Namjoon who is cornering a snickering girl, her hands wrapped around his wrists as he leans in for a sloppy kiss.

"What?" The figures in the distance blur, you blink, but a tear pangs your cheek, the world pausing around you to the point you hardly notice the soft fingers interlacing with yours. Swallowing, you break eye contact with the devastating scene ahead, looking toward your shoes to notice the hand holding yours. With furrowed eyebrows, your eyes trail to see the mesmerizing orbs of Jeon Jungkook, his parted lips remain, but his eyes read something along the lines of, 'Follow my lead.' You typically don't play along with scenarios like this, but at this moment, you don't care.

Squeezing his hand, he nods once after your approval, stepping ahead of you, you follow suit. Jungkook glances at you once both of you near the interlocked couple, you keep his stare refusing to look away. Jungkook's thumb runs along the back of your hand collecting stares from the hallway audience- two pairs of the eyes belonging to Namjoon and his new attraction. If tension really is a thing, you know it now, especially with the girl glaring daggers into the back of your skull; Namjoon's Adam's apple bobs at the clench of his jaw.

When you make it to your next class, Jungkook fully faces you, nerves jittering within his tummy mirroring your quivering arms. "Don't move," he whispers, leaning forward, planting a sweet kiss upon your cheek. The sensation of it lingers, you want to touch the delicate spot, but refrain. Your mouth ajar from the shock overwhelming your expression. "I'll see you in dance class." He nods, you robotically turning on a heel to find your desk, your conscious filling with swarming questions, the main one being: 'What. Just happened?'

Stretching is always how dance class begins, you lean forward until your fingertips brush the tip of your shoe. Thankfully, dance is your last class of the day, and you make it early enough, finding some sense of peace before students start filing in. Mr. Jung Hoseok must have run to grab some lunch since he isn't sitting at his desk, and as you continue maneuvering your body around with different stretches, someone flops beside you.

At first, you think it's Jimin, "Well, well, well, if it isn't Pinhead Larry," you bellow, turning to face with utter horror that Jungkook is staring at you blankly. The blood drains from your face and you open your mouth and shut it multiple times with no words forming. That's when a sly smirk grows onto his lips,

"And if I'm not mistaken, you must be Dirty Dan."

"You-" You stutter, "You watch Spongebob?"

He chuckles finding your look of astonishment quite cute, "Every day," he beams. The two of you return to stretching, your mind racing, but there is one question you can't seem to shake off, especially with what happened earlier today; the feel of his lips on your skin still felt even after hours since it was placed. Slanting your head, you muster enough courage to ask,

"Why-" You stammer, "How- how did you know?"

A look of recognition shows within his eyes when he glimpses at you, swallowing at the lump in his throat, sadness seems evident just from the way his lips purse; but the moment ends way too soon, for people start making their way into the classroom, you moving to stand to your feet, Mr. Jung announcing class is about to begin.

When class ends, you're grateful, the exercise is nice, especially when it relieves the majority of the stress threatening to haunt you. With a quick swig from a water fountain in the hallway, you run a sweaty palm through your hair, briefly checking your phone to see Jimin texted you to remind you to practice the choreography which causes you to chortle at his persistence.

"So," a voice sounds, you whirling to see Jungkook making his way to you, "I believe you asked a question I may or may not have the answer to."

"Answer while you walk me to my car?" You're shocked with how quick-witted you became in that moment; especially with that being something you would typically only reiterate to Jimin. Jungkook doesn't hesitate- backpack hanging off his shoulders, tendrils in slight disarray from dancing, he walks you to your car, both of you facing each other once you reach it.

"So how did you know?" You repeat the question, folding your arms across your chest to bring some form of comfort. Jungkook's tongue pokes at his cheek, him avoiding eye contact at first, "She's, um," his hands cuddle into his pockets, his shoulders tensing, "She's my ex-girlfriend." The girl your ex was with.

Of course, you're shocked when you hear his words as sympathy gathers within you, relating to him on a spiritual level. The only thing you can't seem to get past is how you had no idea Jungkook was dating anyone before. Maybe it's because he's mostly quiet- keeps to himself a lot- hence why you never truly noticed him until today.

"I'm- I'm so sorry," you whisper, hugging yourself tighter. Jungkook shrugs, looking ahead, his eyes trailing the multitude of cars in the parking lot. "I had no idea."

"It's not your fault," he meets your eyes, the genuine shine of them reaching to the depths of your soul that have needed to be healed for some time. "Besides, they had it coming. And," his voice softens, "I wouldn't mind holding your hand again."

Your eyes widen, his words making the pace of your heart quicken before you can think to reply. Namjoon never said words so sweet, wishing you would have paid attention to the red flags before you discovered his infidelity. Regardless, new hope arises, one you don't voice, but instead, reaching your hand forward, Jungkook gently taking it, bringing the back of your hand to his lips, leaving yet another small peck to burn into your memory forever.

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

House, M.D. Fanfic (11/?)

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to leave a note on my story.  I hope you continue to enjoy my kind of rewrite and/or additions to certain episodes! As always, I don't own House. If I did, Lisa Edelstein would have gotten the respect she deserved contact wise for a season 8.

As stated in previous chapters, the story follows the big picture laid out on the show, but with my own take on things. We have reached extremely bumpy road territory. Buckle up, folks. This one might sting a little.

Thanks to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for reading my ideas and providing positive feedback! Anything in the way of feedback is always appreciated! I like to know how you like what I'm doing. Enjoy!

xxxxx

"How long have you been sleeping with Dr. House?" Tritter asked as he took a seat in her office.

Cuddy shook her head, shocked at the question. "Why would you think I'm sleeping with House?"

Tritter got that smug smirk he got when he thought he knew something. "Only reason a smart woman like you would keep a jerk like that around. You're way out of his league."

"The only reason a dean of medicine at a teaching hospital would keep a world renowned diagnostician around is because I'm sleeping with him?"

"You haven't denied it."

"I'm not sleeping with House," she crossed her arms.

"Dr. Cuddy. The guy is an ass. He treats patients like they aren't even human. How much has he cost your hospital over the years? How much has he cost you?" He asked. "I don't understand why you're protecting him."

"Dr. House saves lives... lives that other doctors can't save. If you were dying and no one else could figure out what was wrong with you, you'd want Dr. House to be the one on your case. I'm not sleeping with him. He's just that good," she stated a little more firmly, moving to open her office door to show him out. But his words had hit a nerve, asking what he'd cost her had hit a nerve. It stuck with her.

xxxxx

Later that night, House laid in her bed, one hand folded under his head, his fingers sliding over her bare back. "Heard Barnaby Jones came to talk to you today."

Cuddy breathed deeply, shifting so she could prop her head on her hand and look at him. "Detective Tritter came to accuse me of sleeping with you."

"You are sleeping with me." He turned his head to look at her.

"I lied to him. I told him I wasn't."

"Why?"

"Because sleeping with you would give him a reason to believe my judgement is compromised. It would imply that I'm hiding your drug problem. Or he would accuse me of enabling your habit."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Has sleeping with me affected your ability to practice medicine?"

"No."

"Has it compromised your ability to make professional calls where my patients or myself are concerned?"

"No, but..."

"Has your judgement been compromised? Have you been writing me scripts? Have I stolen your prescription pad? Have you been enabling my habit?"

"No..."

"Then what's the problem?" He shrugged.

"I lied to the cops!"

"You lied about sleeping with me. We've been lying to everyone else about that for months. Why are you suddenly growing a conscience about it?"

"I don't know, House, maybe because this guy has it out for you! Normally when you piss someone off, they just sue you. This guy actually has the power to get your medical license revoked and send you to jail for a long time!"

"That what you're afraid of? Don't worry, I can still place a bun in your oven. Or are conjugal visits not on your list of approved baby making fantasies?"

She sighed and moved away, turning her back to him. "Whatever you want to tell yourself, House." She was tired of fighting with him.

"You're mad at me."

"Because you're being an ass!"

"No more than usual." He thought for a moment. "This is you being hormonal..."

"I'm not pregnant, House!"

"Did you take another test?"

She sat up and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Yes! Yes, I took a damn test! I took a damn test every time you accused me of being pregnant, and guess what... still not pregnant! You weren't right!"

"This is you being upset that you're not pregnant..." he said slowly. "Look, it's only been a few months. It doesn't mean anything..."

"6 months, House. 6. It's not happening. It's not meant to happen."

"You're giving up?"

"Yes! I tried, and I failed to get pregnant. I'm done. I'm tired of trying and being disappointed. And this...arrangement..." she gestured between them, "isn't working anymore."

He stared at her for a moment. "You're ending this?"

She was quiet for a few moments. "I guess I am."

"Because I haven't gotten you pregnant? It takes most couples years to get pregnant, and you're giving up in 6 months?"

"Save it, House... you're just trying to protect your regular supply of free sex. Sorry, looks like it's back to hookers. I'm sure you've still got all their numbers."

"I don't care about the sex! I do care about you!" He was a little surprised those feelings had slipped out mid-argument. Judging by the look on her face, so was she. "Why are you so willing to give up on something that you've wanted for a long time just because it's a little hard getting there?"

She sighed softly. "Because you can't always get what you want."

"Yeah, quoting a song lyric... that's a real response," he countered. "And in case you forgot, it ends with 'You get what you need.'"

"Yeah...I'm not getting that either." She was quiet for another moment. "Goodnight, House."

xxxxx

House walked into his friend's office and sat down silently. "I've been sleeping with Cuddy," he said after several minutes.

The revelation caused Wilson to pause his reading, but he didn't look up, clearly not buying it. "House, hallucinations mean you've taken too much Vicodin."

House shook his head. "I'm not hallucinating. Cuddy and I have been having hot monkey sex."

Wilson just stared at him, trying to decide if it was true or not. "How... long has it been going on?"

"Several months. When she started fertility treatments before I was shot."

"Cuddy is taking fertility treatments?"

"Right... I didn't tell you about that either. Oops..." he stood and began to walk the office as he worked everything around in his head.

"You're trying to have a baby with Cuddy?"

He turned to look at Wilson then. "No. Cuddy is trying to have a baby with me. Weren't you listening?"

"It's the same result," Wilson leaned back in his chair then. "You've seriously been sleeping with Cuddy for months and haven't told me?"

"This isn't high school. Some of us keep our private lives private, Jimmy."

Wilson shook his head and stood up, walking over to him. "This isn't high school, but you are still in high school. If this was any other woman, you'd have bragged about it. The sheets were barely cold when you told me about Stacy. This is different. She's different." And then he realized, "You're protecting her."

"There was no protection. She wants a baby. Duh," he deflected with sarcasm.

"You're protecting her from you. You're first instinct would normally be to run and brag about sleeping with her. To use the fact that she's your boss to get your way here. And you haven't. You went against your first instinct in order to protect her. You care about her."

"I don't care about her. I'm only telling you now because it's over. She's giving up the fertility treatments. No fertility drugs, no hope for a baby, no need for the hot monkey sex," he spun his cane as he continued to think.

"You don't want it to be over. Because you care about her. She's probably the only other woman who can stand you, can handle you, and you don't want to lose her."

"Don't be ridiculous. I care about the sex. It's free... and really, really good."

Wilson studied him for a moment. "You fell in love with her, didn't you?" It was really more of a statement. His friend wouldn't be here now if all he cared about was having sex.

House stared out the window silently for several long minutes. "What do I do about it?" He turned to his friend then.

"Well, the obvious response is to tell her."

"I can't tell her I love her."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't love me."

"How do you know?"

"I just know!"

"Right, because when a woman wants a baby, her first instinct is to go to the man who's a complete jackass to her and ask him to sleep with her... for months. And you said it was going on before you were shot? So over five months."

"Six, actually," he corrected him. "What can I say,  she's got it bad for my genes."

"She's got it bad for you, House." When he didn't respond, Wilson pushed on. "Did you only have sex when she was ovulating?"

"Yes." He answered quickly. Heaving a sigh a moment later,  he continued. "At least in the beginning. Somewhere along the way the line blurred." House didn't even have to think about that. It had started that way, but the longer it went on, the more sex they had, whether or not it was time in her monthly cycle. And it wasn't just sex. There were nights when they literally slept together and nothing else.

"Then it's not just about a baby. She has feelings for you."

House sighed again. "She's the one who ended the arrangement."

"Probably because she thinks that's all you wanted and she's trying to keep herself from being hurt anymore than she already is."

"She should know that's not all it is."

"Why? Because you've told her?"

"Yes, okay?! Yes! I told her I didn't care about the sex, that I cared about her! And she still ended things!"

"When did you tell her?"

He sighed, rubbing his thumb across his forehead. "Somewhere between her telling me I would have to go back to hookers for sex and quoting the Rolling Stones 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' to me."

He shook his head with a laugh. "House, you're an idiot! She probably thinks you just said it in the heat of the moment to protect your supply of free sex. You're an addict, you've proven you'll say anything to get what you want in the past," he explained. He paused for a moment before continuing. "House, you don't exactly give off the warm and fuzzy vibe. More like the annoying, jackass vibe. Cuddy may be able to handle your particular brand of charm... she may even like it. But she can't read your mind. And a woman like Cuddy isn't going to make that leap unless she knows you're there to catch her. You've got to talk to her."

"I don't know if I can."

"Do you know if you can lose her? Because that's what's at stake here. You either talk to her, or it's over."

House breathed deeply, thinking it over before he left.

[67midnightwriter]

The Moment I Knew

A/N: Please enjoy this little one shot I’ve been messing with these past few days. Beta’d by the ever wonderful @sculptorofbeginnings

Angst/Fluff

Misha Collins x Reader

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence and Death

W/C: 2172

Summary: It started out as a secret and it grew, as secrets often do.

You shifted in your seat, trying to blend in and look like just another fan. You smiled as they played his theme song, biting back a laugh while he sent you text after text as though he wasn’t currently holding up an entire convention. These were the moments you cherished, when he made you feel like the only person in world. They were fleeting, few and far between, but you burned every single one to your memory, like a tattoo on your heart that might fade in time but would be with you always.

When he came out on stage his eyes found yours, as if they were drawn by a magnetic pull. He gave a knowing wink, and you couldn’t help but grin as the girls on either side of you squealed in delight. Misha launched into a story about your morning adventures, quite literally running into a protest downtown, awestruck at how he dove headfirst into the cause, somehow scrounging up poster board and markers; easily coercing you into making signs with him with the promise of an extra large morning latte. When things had gotten too heated for your liking, you had grabbed Misha’s hand and led him away to the coffee shop on the corner.

You looked around as Misha began taking fan questions, and that’s when you saw his face. It jumped out at you from the crowd, causing your heart to palpitate in your chest, though you weren’t sure why. A few more questions were answered as you flipped through memories, trying desperately to figure out why this stranger was making your skin crawl and tingle in anticipation.

He stood up, a tan trench coat that was two sizes too big swaying as he made his way to the middle isle that led to the main stage. As soon as you saw the frayed and stained bottoms, everything clicked into place. The world slowed down as you jumped out of your chair, fear radiating off of your body as your eyes caught the glint of a gun you knew wasn’t a cosplay prop; he was the man that Misha had gotten into a fight with at the protest, and while you had brushed off his death threats there, now they seemed impossibly tangible.

The entire audience went silent as he said Misha’s name, stopping him mid sentence. The metallic click of the safety reverberated through the auditorium, urging you forward. You began to run as Misha dropped his microphone, all the color draining from his face while he took slow, unsteady steps backward. Someone screamed as he cocked the gun, and you stepped in front of it just as he began to aim.

“Don’t do this.” For a second the voice in the air didn’t register as your own. It was strong and steady, the exact opposite of how you felt currently. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Oh sweets, I think I really want to do this. Now move.”

You looked him directly in the eyes. They were a cloudy gray, hazy and rimmed in red. His pupils were dilated, and you realized that he was terrified as well. When you didn’t move he tried to aim the gun over your shoulder, but you wrapped your hands around the cold barrel and you pressed it to your chest.

“If you are going to kill anyone in this building, it’s going to be after you kill me.” He paused, his attention turning from you to Misha. His eyes bore into yours, confusion washing over them; you had caught him off guard, and now he wasn’t sure how to continue. People were now streaming out of the room, and you could tell he was getting flustered, his plan now thrown out the window. “If you are going to shoot anyone, it’s going to be me. After you watch the light fade from my eyes, feel my body go weak and useless against yours, then you can decide if you want to pull this trigger again while it’s facing another person.”

He swallowed hard. You felt his grip on the gun loosen momentarily, his hands starting to shake as the realization of the true consequences of his actions were catching up in his head. He looked over your shoulder, glancing at Misha once more. You could see in the reflection of the projector screen in his glasses that Misha was frozen, watching you with an open mouth and a pale face, resisting as Cliff tried to pull him backstage.

The lights in the auditorium went off. The gunshot seemed to echo forever. Screams harmonized as you swayed on your feet. The pain wasn’t instant. The gun was suddenly heavy in your hands as he dropped it, and you heard him fall as he backed away from you, semi-coherent apologies streaming from his lips. The front of your shirt was hot and sticky as you stepped backwards until your back hit the wooden base of the stage. You slid to the floor as the lights came back on.

Misha dropped to the ground beside you. He pulled you close, squeezing as though he was trying to hold you together. The gun fell from your hands as you reached for him, clutching the front of his t-shirt with whatever grip you could muster. One hand traveled to his cheek, forcing his gaze from your chest to your face.

“Misha, I-” Your voice shook. Tears began to spill from broken blue eyes.

“No, don’t say it.” His lip quivered.

“I love-” The edges of your vision were beginning to darken.

“Y/N please, I need you.” His voice cracked.

“You.” You closed your eyes, and he screamed.

Misha jumped as Jensen wrapped an arm around his shoulder. His touch pulled Misha from the memory, and after a few blinks the red faded from his shaking hands, the weight of your body in his arms a ghost once more. He swallowed hard past the lump in his throat, turning his attention once more to the fan that had asked the question.

He brought it upon himself, doing an interview three months after the incident when the fandom was buzzing with rumors you didn’t deserve. The headline still sat on the their coffee table, staring at him on calm nights while Vicki worked on her new book and he tried to think about anything other than what had happened; ‘Misha Collins and the fan that saved his life: “I loved her.”’ He hoped that he had done you justice.

Now, six months later, the first convention was harder than anyone had imagined.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t-” The fan backtracked.

“No, that’s okay. It’s a long story, so I’ll give you the cliff notes.” Misha took a deep breath, and Jensen squeezed his shoulder for support. “She strode onto set her first day with a confidence that I could only ever wish to have. She was wild, constantly pushing me past limits and somehow finding the best in every situation. She felt like sunshine and-” He paused, tears burning his eyes again as her memory danced behind his eyes.

“She was made for Misha.” Jensen interjected. “We could all see it. Vicki even started calling her his ‘set wife’ after her first visit for the new season.” Jensen’s laugh eased a bit of the pain that weighed heavy on Misha’s chest.

“It’s funny, when you think you have so much time with a person you waste it. You let precious days slip through your fingers like they’re never ending, when in reality-” Another pause, another shaky breath- “I refused to let myself feel what I should have been feeling all along. I hid her away like my own little secret, because I was scared of getting hurt. I put up walls that she didn’t deserve, and on this side of things I realize that I wasn’t shutting her out, but I was locking myself up. What’s the difference betweens walls keeping out the world and fencing yourself in anyways?” He bit his lip, turning to look at Jensen before continuing. “That moment, when she stood so strong in front of that gun for me, when she could have slipped away with the crowd and no one would have even questioned it, that’s the moment I knew I loved her.”

“Did you ever try and find her afterwards?”

“There was a bomb that went off in the lobby. A lot of pandemonium that day, and there was a mixup in with what hospital she was taken to. The last I heard she was pronounced dead in the ambulance-” Misha’s voice cracked again, and he bit his lip.

“Misha looked. We all did. We spent weeks calling all the hospitals in the area, searching for her by name, looking for Jane Does… It seems like something that could only happen in the movies, but she was gone.”

The crowd gasped, and for a second Misha’s skin prickled as panic started to spread. The memory threatened to break through again, the real world in front of him blurring as he started to lose his grip on what was here and now and what was in the past. Jensen laid his hand on Misha’s forearm, squeezing it and grounding him with the sensation. He could still hear her voice saying his name, and he shook his head, ready to leave the panel before he lost his control in front of the crowd.

“Misha.”

He looked up, sure that he was hearing a ghost, but there you were on the other end of the stage. You were tucked protectively beneath Jared’s arm, standing between him and Vicki, looking impossibly small. Bright red fresh scars peaked out from the dip in your shirt, and you had lost weight, but you were there.

Misha’s microphone clattered to the ground. He was on his feet, the sound of his chair falling to the stage causing you to flinch as his legs carried him to you. He wrapped you in his arms, crushing you to his chest as you wrapped your legs around his hips. He kissed you, not caring anymore who saw, or what they thought. Your tears mixed together on his face, hot and wet, and for a moment you  just existed together once more.

“I love you too.” He managed, pressing his lips to whatever skin of yours he could reach while your laughter bubbled out.

“Happy birthday Misha.” Vicki’s hand rubbed circles on his back as she kissed his cheek, and he turned to give her a kiss as well.

“And here I thought you couldn’t out-do last years gift.” Laughter floated through your little group as the crowd behind them cheered, bringing Misha back to down to earth.

He sat you down on the ground, grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours before pulling you up on stage. Jensen followed, a bright grin on his face as Misha sat back down his his chair, pulling you into his lap.

“I’m sorry guys, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to finish this panel without a special guest appearance.”

No one protested.

“Why did you hide?” Misha asked, his thumb caressing your cheekbone as his hand cupped your face. You ran your hands through the hair on his chest, pressing kisses on his hot skin while you tried to work out what you wanted to say.

“I was scared. When this started you told me that you couldn’t love me. Not after what had happened before. I was okay with that for awhile, but somewhere along the line just having you wasn’t enough. I wanted you and Vicki, and the kids. I wanted to be a part of your family.” A tear slipped down your cheek and Misha kissed it away, pulling you closer and nuzzling against your neck. “I didn’t have control of myself and my feelings like I thought I did, and that scared me. You were in control, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I ran.” You could feel Misha’s tears against your neck, and you carded your hand through his hair comfortingly. “I didn’t want to force you to make a decision that you didn’t want to make. Or maybe I was scared of you not making the decision I wanted.”

“I’m sorry.” It was a whisper against your skin, and for a moment you wondered if you heard it or felt it. “I’m sorry for so much Y/N. I’m sorry for-”

You pressed your lips against his, cutting off his apology.

“If I let you continue we are going to be in this bed for another fifteen years.” A sad chuckle escaped his lips before he kissed you again, long and slow.

“Probably.”

Words stopped, and hands spoke. Touches mended cracked souls, lips pressed broken pieces back into place. You relearned each others bodies in the dark, not resting until long after the sunrise burned through the thin hotel curtains.

[paladin-of-deneir]

The Day It All Fell Apart

    I had never really wanted to join up with an army of any sort. Never, as a child, had I dreamed of becoming a soldier. But this was different. My love, Marie Lovell, convinced me to join with this militia, said they needed a new drummer after what happened to the last one. So, I decided to join one of the units. Marie was the piper in said unit, and she introduced me to some of the other soldiers. Including one of her friends, a guy named Ham Young-Man. An absurd name, I know. People made fun of him for it. Or I’m sure they would’ve if not for his height. He was maybe the third most intimidating soldier in that unit. But he had a good heart. Never wanted to leave another man behind. In the seven months after I joined, we of course took pride in wiping out several groups of monsters, big and small. Then one day, we bit off more than we could chew.

    It was mid-day when we received orders to destroy a hobgoblin outpost. We thought nothing of it, made our preparations, and began marching to the outpost. When we first arrived, we managed to take them by surprise. We cut through them like a farmer through a field of wheat. Their dwindling numbers forced them into a retreat. Or… so we thought. Instead of us driving them back, they were instead leading us right into a trap. All of a sudden, ogres, must have been half a dozen of them, crashed into the back of the army. I watched in horror as friend after friend was mowed down, crushed, and shot. Then, something ran into me, and I fell hard onto the dirt. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Marie calling my name. Then… nothing.

    By the time I woke, the full moon hung high in the night sky. My vision was blurred as I pulled myself from the dirt. My ears rang, as well. All I could truly tell was that my head really fucking hurt. As I stood, slowly, painfully, I began to realize that I could hear someone. I couldn’t make it out at first, and in my haze, calling out to the voice seemed like a good idea. It hurt as the noise left my throat, and my voice sounded just as bad to match. The ringing in my ears started to abate, and my vision started to clear. I only caught a quick glimpse of the battlefield before Ham hugged me. He held me close, with tears in his eyes. As he held me there, my head against his chestplate, I finally noticed. The blood. It was everywhere. My clothing, my hair, my hands, his armor. “H-Ham? What’s going on…?” He didn’t answer. “Ham?” No answer, just tears. I managed to pull myself free of his grip, and I finally saw the battlefield in full in the moon’s pale light. And my heart went cold.

    Everyone else was dead. Everyone. Their bodies were strewn about everywhere. Some of them were intact; the arrows and blood the only indication of their deaths. Others… I’d rather not describe what was left. The shock kept me rooted in place until a thought hit me. I ran, as fast as I could, into the field of dead. I looked everywhere until I found her. And when I did, I wished I hadn’t looked. Marie lay there, most certainly dead. There was a slash across her chest, and a stab wound in her gut. Her blood soaked the grass and the dirt, and her face was cold and lifeless. I fell to my knees, overcome with emotion. My heart hurt, and my eyes were filled with tears. I started weeping uncontrollably, my hands clenched into fists. I cried so hard I was coughing like a sick man. I held her cold, lifeless hand as my tears hit the dirt. I begged her to come back. As if that were possible. Ham came over and put his hand on my shoulder, and I just cried harder.

   “I’m sorry. I…” He didn’t finish his sentence. I didn’t blame him. I knew he meant what he said, but I couldn’t find my voice though the tears. I cried for nearly an hour, Ham kneeling next to me, saying “I’m sorry” intermittently. After that time, I found that I couldn’t cry anymore even if I wanted to. I was out of tears to give. I was out of sadness, out of grief. I was just… empty. I just… stared at Marie’s lifeless body, at the blood that stained her shirt.

    By now, dark clouds had rolled over, and rain poured from the sky. The field was dark, save for where Ham aimed his lantern. As he held it on Marie’s body, I saw a glint. I looked closer, and found that it was Marie’s necklace. A colorful crystal heart with a gold accent on a silver chain. I carefully took it from around her neck, and put it around my own. Something to always remember her by.

    It doesn’t matter the immediate aftermath. Let’s just say Ham and I found ourselves back in Waterdeep. We gathered our things from the unit’s barracks. I also looked around Marie’s room, taking a shortbow and some arrows, and the music box she had shown me a few days ago. Then, Ham and I left. We couldn’t bring ourselves to leave the other and go our separate ways, so we stuck together. After the massacre, our relationship changed. Changed from a normal friendship to a sort of brother-sister relationship. We cared for each other, comforted each other after the massacre. We were there for each other like siblings would be. But… at the same time… I hate him. When I look at him, I'm reminded of that awful day. Of our friends, of Marie.

    I do myself no favors, though. Wearing that necklace, keeping the music box, writing that song. I've retreated inward since I lost her. For a while, not a day passed where I didn't consider joining Marie. A dagger across my throat is all it would've taken. But I always stopped myself, telling myself that Marie would want me to live on. Even so, I hardly talk to people, and even when I do, I'm really hesitant. To most people, I likely come off as really shy. I just… can't bring myself to make any new friends. Certainly no new lovers. Never.

    Blake... I know she means well, that she cares. She's my sister, after all. But... she's away too much. The Harpers apparently don't see fit to give her any sort of break, not even if her sister did just expierence something traumatic and life-changing. That's fine, though. Not like we'd talk much either way.

    Recently, Ham managed to convince me to do some more work. He and I signed on to escort a merchant to a city called Clovershire. So far, everything seems to be going fine. Something tells me it won't last.

So this is where I’m starting here on Tumblr. The backstory for Olivia Carmine, a human bard I was playing for a while before... certain events happened. I like this story, even though it might be one of the darker things I’ve ever written.

A quick note: Ham Young-Man is my friend’s character. Yes the name is stupid. Moving on.

Enjoy!

[seoulltang]

BTS Reacts: Your Emotional Performance as Their Ex

Request: Can you do a BTS reaction of him seeing you his ex (also an idol) on stage (or on tv) crying because she sang a song that reminded her of him. Thank you, sorry if you didn’t understand me. 

Seokjin (Jin)

Seokjin’s hands itched to hold you close. The burning prickle to run his hands through your soft locks, cradle your cheek in his large palm and whisper sweet promises into your ear. The breakup had been messy; your company finding out about your secret blossoming relationship without any regard for your dating ban had even Bang Shi Hyuk stepping in to avoid disaster.

“Not for me,

I don’t think it will be easy,

You still fill up my day to day,

Not yet,

I repeat it like a fool,

But I can’t swallow the words on my lips,

It’s not fine, ah~”

Your voice echoed powerfully throughout the arena, pouring every emotion, every tear into the words of your song. You gazed across the audience, faces blurring together until you landed on Seokjin’s tall frame, easily recognizable in the front row tables. Tears began welling in your eyes, unsaid words pouring out to the crowd that you prayed he alone would understand.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “Fine”

Yoongi (Suga)

Yoongi lounged in one of the comfy couches of the waiting room, makeup and hair already done. The sound of the TV airing the groups who just performed filtered in through the air, idly listening over the banter of the rest of the members as he checked his social media.

The sound of your voice echoed throughout the room, too loudly in Yoongi’s ears as his attention snapped to the TV. The screen was filled with an image of you, one he had committed to memory, every flaw, every dark circle under your eyes during the long, sleepless nights.

“It’s 11:11,

When there’s not much time left to the day,

When we used to make wishes and laugh,

Everything reminds me of you,

The wind is as cold as the edge of your heart,

When I open the window, you blow in,

When this time passes, will this breakup be over? Yeah~

Will I forget you?”

The small acoustic performance fit you. You were never one for fussy stages or complicated songs. You preferred raw, emotional ballads, songs that spoke to the heart and pulled at your memories.

Yoongi’s jaw set, an attempt to control his features. Jimin came up, camera in hand, light blinking blue on the back of his phone to signify he was shooting a V-Live.

“Hyung, say hi!” Jimin took notice of Yoongi’s set features, and straightened posture and furrowed his brow. Yoongi gave a quick half smile to the camera and focused his attention back on the screen, where he caught the tail end of your performance, tears streaming down your face.

“Must be pre-show jitters,” Jimin commented to the camera, heading in the opposite direction towards Taehyung and Jungguk.

Yoongi quickly pulled out his black leather-bound notebook and a pen, and quickly started writing down thoughts, biting is lip to control all the aimless emotions in his head.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “11:11″

Hoseok (J-Hope)

Hoseok had stopped mid warmup to the sound of your voice filtering in through the practice room speakers hooked up to the radio. It echoed off the walls harshly, leaving him with no choice but to stand quietly and listen. It was a radio interview, promoting the new single you had just released the day prior.

“It’s more sad than what your fans are used to, isn’t it?” The host asked and you chuckled lightly, breath catching the mic.

“Yes,” you agreed. The ballad was a complete 180 from your normal pop style but you were happy with the change, Hoseok could hear it in your voice.

He knew he should have stopped, should have turned the station to something that played a mindless beat, the same rhythm over and over, something he could dance away all the thoughts running through his mind.

Hoseok walked over to the radio, hand gently laying on top with every intention of doing just that. But burning curiousity got the better of him at hearing your next words.

“I was in a really happy place when I wrote this. It’s about someone very dear; even though they are no longer in my life they continue to help me through my day to day.”

“Would you like to sing an piece of it for your fans?” the host asked.

“Of course.” Hoseok could hear the smile in your voice, could picture just how your lips lifted, and cheeks bunched up, nose scrunching the tiniest bit. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, your angelic voice filling his ears.

“Cause you are,

The light that feel on me,

You are,

Like a beautiful dream,

With seven rays, the whole world,

Is dyed even more beautifully,

Always, yeah you are,”

The interview became quiet and a small sniffle Hoseok recognized immediately as yours permeated the air waves. “Would you like to take a quick break?” the host offered.

With that, Hoseok immediately turned the station and rubbed a sweaty palm over his face. He exhaled heavily, a deep set frown etched onto his lips. He began to stretch his limbs thoroughly, planning to throw himself into practice to try and forget the words etched into his heart, your voice ringing in his ears.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “U R”

Namjoon (Rap Monster)

Namjoon stood in between his members, smile plastered dumbly on his face even though his insides felt full of mud. His brain processed things slowly, but heart beat that challenged that of a race horse. He hadn’t been this close to you since your split, conflicting schedules being the sole reason. Butterflies blossomed in his chest and soared through his veins at the sight of you, and from the blush that was dusting your cheeks, he was hoping your feelings hadn’t faded either.

“So, (Y/N)-ssi,” Don started. “I hear you wrote your newest promotional song.”

The faint blush deepened and you covered you mouth with a sleeved hand. “Yes, that’s right,” you smiled shyly.

“Mind giving us a sneak peak?” Don asked. You looked over towards your manager, sitting off screen, and he gave two thumbs up. You smiled and nodded, exhaling sharply.

“Still, I hear your sounds,

And still, I feel your hand,

Even today, I lived within your tracks,

Still, I see your image,

And still, I feel your warmth,

Even today, I lived inside your time.”

Your eyes glassed over with the beginnings of tears, and you covered your face, embarrassment creeping up your spine. The rest of your members smiled fondly and clapped, as Bangtan clapped as well and made noises of approval.

Something like pride flooded Namjoon’s chest before he quickly squashed that down. He would let himself have this moment, let show a smile fonder than the rest of his members, before he would go back to being polite yet aloof, keeping a respectful distance from your group.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “Time Walking on Memories”

Taehyung (V)

Taehyung leaned over, large hand covering his mouth. “Jiminnie, I don’t know if I can do this.” He licked his dry lips and leaned back to gaze at Jimin, an unfamiliar, serious expression setting Taehyung’s features.

Jimin smiled apologetically and gave a reassuring squeeze to his knee, resting his hand there. Taehyung leaned back in his seat, handing wiping aimlessly at his mouth, as he watched the staff set up for your solo stage. The lights dimmed, and Taehyung could feel his heart begin to pound as you made your way onto the stage, front and center, to the lone mic.

You smiled warmly at the crowd as the soft piano filled the arena. You searched for Taehyung in the crowd, but were unable to find him in the dim lighting. Your heart sank a little at not being able to see him, but knowing his eyes were trained on you alone gave you the confidence to sing your deepest feelings in front of so many prying eyes.

“I don’t know since when, in this endless ordeal,

Your gaze whispers to me, “It’s okay,”,

Then there’s you,

At the end of my parched world,

Oh, it’s you,

Became sweet rain and made it fall,

For a long time, deep in my heart,

This precious word I’ve hidden away,

I love you,”

Your voice choked on the last note, tears running down your face as you unabashedly let them fall. Taehyung’s He ached to hold you. To wipe away your tears. Your relationship hadn’t been the best. You fought, argued about pointless things, neither one wanting to admit they were wrong. But when things were going right, it was amazing. Pillow fights, tickle wars, cooking that always ended in disaster and takeout. You were someone he looked forward to talk to every night, be it over the phone or through a computer screen. Taehyung gulped down the lump in his throat, willing away any form of tears that might betray his stoic face.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “Secret”

Jimin

“My meaningless days with the truth of you not being there,

The tower of the future built with anticipation collapses in a single moment, oh,

The big embrace that would hug even despair will only be hollow,

Your lie that didn’t know gaze and touch,

It’s over, all of it,”

Your words screamed into the mic of your solo stage rang through Jimin’s chest louder than he thought any song ever could. Your words filled with the distrust you felt then made his skin crawl, sick with disgust for his own actions. He had never meant for any of it to happen, for it to get so out of hand. And when you walked in, right in the middle of everything, Jimin felt your trust crumble instantly.

Jimin could feel your eyes on him, even if it was only his imagination at play. He itched to hide behind his hair, anything to get you out of his line of sight.  He watched as tears clung to your lashes, and could almost feel the pounding of your heart.

Jimin kept a careful stoic face, but not having the courage to watch you perform, instead aiming his gaze at the stage floor where the lights shone brightly on you. You finished your performance with cheers and whistles from the crowd, and the look of triumph aimed in Jimin’s direction had him sinking further into his seat, wishing it would just swallow him whole.

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s “Fire”

Jungguk (Jungkook)

Jungguk prayed that if there were any cameras filming this joint radio interview, that he would be as inconspicuous as possible. It was by sheer bad luck that BTS’s sister group, your group, had been invited along to the interview with their new studio album being released. He should have known when one of their managers pulled him aside before the interview started and warned him you would be here, that he would not enjoy this experience.

Jungguk tried to steady his thrumming heart, his eyes unconsciously drifting to you when he wasn’t paying attention.

“So, (Y/N)-ssi,” the radio host began. Jungguk found himself watching you again, hoping his face remained as neutral as possible. “Is there any particular song you like best on the new album?”

You hummed in acknowledgement. “Yes, there is one song I’m really fond of. It’s one I wrote myself; a ballad.” A tight smile appeared on your delicate face, preparing yourself for the question that would come next.

“Would you mind singing a verse of it for us?”

You could feel Jungguk’s gaze lingering on you and looked to your leader beside you for courage. She gave a comforting smile as you exhaled deeply and closed your eyes.

“But still, when I think of your name,

Tears well up and when I close my eyes,

And even though everything has changed,

You’re always at the same place, looking the same,

Making me cry.”

You quickly wiped away the tears that stung your eyes and smiled sheepishly at the host. “That was beautiful,” she commented with a sad smile. “Is it about anyone in particular?”

You froze at the unexpected question and made the mistake of glancing at Jungguk. His eyes widened, and you could see how uncomfortable he had become, mouth slightly agape, shifting in his seat every couple of minutes. He gulped, and you quickly averted your gaze. You smiled shyly and waved your hand in front of your face, hoping to not look too apprehensive with your blatent lie. “Not, really. I-I just have a soft spot for ballads.”

English lyrics used: Taeyeon’s Time Lapse

[the-awkward-writer]

You Are Enough

 Pairings: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: this got really angsty swearing, self hate, self deprecation, bullying, talk of an almost attempted suicide Please don’t read this is if any of the aforementioned things trigger you. If you are thinking about killing yourself, please rethink it and talk to someone. Here is the link for the Suicide Prevention Hotline website. Call their number, and they can help. You are never alone. Always Keep Fighting.

Based off of: Scars To Your Beautiful: Alessia Cara

A/N: This is written for @impalaimagining‘s 1K Followers Challenge! This fic is based off the song, I didn’t really incorporate the lyrics in like I usually do. I felt like it didn’t fit well with what I was trying to write. I also suffered some severe writer’s block with this one, so it isn’t one of my best. This was the gif I received, which gives me so many feels it’s not even funny:

*completely and utterly unedited, i apologize for any grammatical/spelling errors*

There were many things that Jared Padalecki would never quite understand. For instance, he couldn’t believe the mount of hate flowing through the world, but he also couldn’t believe how accepting and loving some people were. He could never even attempt to comprehend the immeasurable size of the universe. But above all, he could never fathom how Y/N Padalecki didn’t see herself as beautiful. In Jared’s eyes, she was beyond perfect. 

To Jared, you were some sort of superhero.

You spent time in Africa building schools and wells for safe drinking water.

You sponsored under privileged children from around the world.

You supported Jared.

Jared found the latter the most exceptional of your accomplishments.

Jared’s depression caused him to have days when he didn’t want to get out of bed. He didn’t want to eat or drink or even think.

Yet you stayed by his side. You got him to get up, go to work, and continue doing what he loves to do.

For all those things, Jared was eternally grateful.

Yet you still didn’t see yourself as the beautiful person you are.

You were spending one of your rare days off alone. It wasn’t your personal choice, but with Jared filming in Vancouver, and you holding down the fort in Austin, you didn’t get to see him much.

You supported your husband with everything you had, but sometimes you needed him there to support you.

Today being a prime example.

All you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, but you couldn’t step away from the full length mirror in front of you.

Your day hadn’t started out like this. You woke up to a super sweet text from Jared. You walked to the library, signed out the book you had been wanting to read for ages before starting your walk home.

You usually walked to the library because the building was so close, and you  never had any problems.

Until today.

You felt as if everyone walking past you was watching you. Judging you. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you felt their eyes on you.

It made you pull your cardigan tighter over your body and cross your arms over your chest.

The woman walking past you let her eyes linger on your body for a bit too long before letting them slide away from you. The man sitting on the bench smoking a cigarette pulled a face as you walked by, it seemed as if he had extreme trouble hiding his disapproval of your appearance. The kids a few paces away stopped their rough housing to stare at you as you scurried past them.

With every passing person, you wondered what they were thinking about you.

Did they notice the extra fat on your stomach? Did they see how your thighs shook with every step you took? Did they see the way your hips bulged out from your sides as if they were too big for your body? You knew you should’ve worn baggy clothes today. Your body just wasn’t made to fit in the form fitted clothing you chose that morning.

Oh my god, what if they’re talking about me? You thought as you passed a particularly loud group of women who were obviously gossiping.

The what if’s were thrown around in your head like a football as you walked as fast as your legs could carry you back to your apartment.

You finally reached the apartment building just as you felt like you were going to break down.

You decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. You figured a) there would be less people, and b) you could use the extra exercise.

As soon as you made it to the safety of your apartment, you throw everything down and rush to the bedroom you share with Jared.

Quickly changing, you put on your baggiest pair of pajama bottoms and one of Jared’s sweatshirts that swallowed your frame and ended at your knees.

You went to walk out of the room, but the full length mirror in the corner caught your eye.

Well really, it was your reflection. Which brings the entire day full circle as you stare at the figure in front of you.

Even with the baggy sweatshirt on, your attention was drawn to your stomach.

You pulled the garment up and turned to the side. The extra skin that hung off your body made you feel sick.

Next you looked at your arms. Skin and fat fell from the back of your arms and you noticed developing stretch marks. Then your attention turned to your legs, then neck and chin and face and back.

Eventually, your reflection blurred together until you couldn’t tell your hand and foot apart. The tears constricting your vision made your reflection look like a large, shapeless blob.

You covered your mouth with your hands to muffle your sobs.

Then something happened that hadn’t happened since grade school. The voice was back.

With every passing second, the little voice inside your head got louder and louder.

It was belittling you. Berating you. Insulting you.

The little voice made you think back to the things that happened in grade school. The constant bullying that led to many other terrible things.

You were new to school. Your father had been moved to Maryland from Texas for his job.

You quickly learned that the people in your hometown in Texas were more liberal and accepting of diverse people than those in rural Maryland.

While this did not pose a problem because of your skin color or sexuality, it posed a problem because of your weight.

You were by no means skinny. You had meat on your bones for sure.

You started the new school in the ninth grade. Which couldn’t have been a worse time for you to start.

Your teenage years were something that you didn’t want to reminisce.

You were the epitome of an awkward pubescent teen.

The acne was awful, there was a slight voice change that caused you to have a high pitched voice for a time, you hadn’t exactly gotten a grip on the whole period thing, and you were just plain awkward. A growth spurt had hit over the summer, but stopped seemingly mid-way, causing you to have longer legs that you had trouble controlling and arms that were not proportionate with the rest of your body.

You were just awkward. Plain and simple.

Once stepping foot into your new high school, you realized that you were the only awkward being there.

Hell, even the weird janitor with a hunch back controlled his body better than you.

Your first day had been okay. None of your teachers made you sand up in front of the class and say a few words about yourself like they did in the movies. You flew under the radar, just as planned.

You should have known it was too good to be true.

The next day, the “new girl” tag started.

Everywhere you went, and in every class, you were “the new girl”.

It resulted in lonely walks to class and no one to sit with at lunch.

During lunch, you sat in the dark auditorium and ate before pulling out a flashlight and your book.

It didn’t take long fro you to miss your friends back home an wish they were there with you.

It was the fifth day that you were cornered by the queen bitch of the school and her minions.

Even though you had only been there for a full week of school, you could tell they ran the entire freaking place.

Their attitudes, and egos, were bigger than the building, and they created an aura of superiority and self righteousness. 

You were getting your homework for the weekend out of your locker when it happened.

A perfectly manicured hand came to a rest right beside your head.

“So,” a feminine voice said very close to your ear, “What’s your name?”

You looked around. One of her minions was standing to your left, the other right behind you. They had you trapped with no possible way to escape.

The question seemed innocent enough, so you answered, but more like squeaked, “Y/N.”

The queen bitch laughed, “Fitting.”

You raised your eyebrows, a silent plea for clarification.

“A pathetic name for a pathetic excuse of a girl.”

That one felt like a blow right to the gut.

“I-I’m s-sorry?” you stuttered when you were nervous.

“She has a stutter too! This is gonna be fun, girls.”

They all laughed at you in unison before flipping their hair in sauntering off in a cloud off foul smelling perfume.

You gathered the rest of your things quickly before practically running out to meet your mother in her car.

The next week, you stayed low, trying to stay out of their way.

Your plan proved feeble when you tripped over your own foot in the lunch room and spilled your lunch down the front of the queen bitch.

That was only the beginning.

Next came the snide remarks in the hallways. Then the cruel notes in your locker. Then your things being stolen and turn up in random places days later.

But no matter how hard it got, you never said anything to anyone.

You felt like a burden and you didn’t want to push all of your problems on to someone else.

Whilst holding in your thoughts and feelings, you stopped eating. You stopped eating at lunch to avoid the entire school that was turned against you. You stopped eating breakfast because you were so anxious about the school day ahead of you. Then, you stopped eating dinner too. Your thoughts revolved around the things at school. The bullying was making you miserable. You would push the food around your plate, and feed some to the dog under the table before excusing yourself because you were “tired”.

Your parents were none the wiser about your situation at school.

Your dad was swamped with work to do because of his new promotion. Your mom was running around with your younger siblings all the time, so you faded into the shadows.

It wasn’t long before the lack of attention and bullying became too much for you to handle.

It was nearing the end of the ninth grade when it happened.

Someone walked past you and whispered something loud enough for only you to hear.

“Just kill yourself already.”

You never knew who said that to you, but for a full week and a half, you were thanking them.

You realized that it was a simple solution to a grand problem.

You cleaned out your locker on a Friday. You didn’t want your parents to do it when you ultimately followed through with your plan.

You walked home like usual and made it home to an empty house.

You threw your bag down by the door and kicked off your shoes.

You had a plan set on how to go.

Your mother had gotten back surgery a few months prior and was prescribed Vicodin for the pain.

You were going to go up into her bathroom medicine cabinet and take every single last one.

You had your foot on the very first stair when the phone rang from the corner of the room.

Your body moved on its own accord.

“Hello?” you answered the phone.

“Hey there,” a woman with a slight southern accent said. “Is this Y/N L/N?”

“This is her,” your voice was shaky as you tried to calm your nerves. You don’t know what this woman could have wanted.

“Hey there, honey. I’m Michelle, and I was calling about the audition tape you sent in some time ago.”

You completely forgot about that tape. You sent it in right before your life was moved from Texas to Maryland. You had found out about the role while scrolling through various websites on the internet. The role interested you so much that you were compelled to send in an audition tape to see if you could land the role yourself.

“Good or bad news?” you asked. Your grip tightened on the plastic receiver as you awaited an answer.

“Well, honey, you got the part! I would consider that great news!”

Your grip on the phone loosened considerably as you squealed with excitement. “Really?”

“Really honey. It only took us so long to get back to you because of the amount of tapes sent in. But yours won by a landslide.”

You felt tears prick at the back of your eyes, “Thank you so much!”

“You’re very welcome sweetie,” she said. “Now, onto business. The producer is going to call you tomorrow afternoon with more details of the show. He’s going to go over things like scheduling and school and other boring important details.”

You nodded before you realized that she couldn’t see you. “Uh, yeah. I’ll make sure to have my parents with me tomorrow.”

“Okay sweetie. I wish you the best of luck,” Michelle said before hanging up.

You put the phone back in it’s place and did a happy dance around your kitchen.

This was your shot. You could get out of this filthy town and never look back.

The next afternoon when the producer called, you were sandwiched right in between your parents as you hit the answer button.

Your legs gave out from underneath you and you fell to the floor.

You cried and turned your back to the mirror.

That role you landed was only the start of your career. It lead to bigger and better things. Supernatural being only one of them.

That set was where you met your husband.

You know that it sounded like the epitome of cliche, but Jared’s never ending love taught you how to become more comfortable being yourself.

Tate night conversations in each others trailers you shared after a long day of filming created a solid foundation for your relationship. He helped you realize that those queen bitches in high school were just apart of your past, and that they made you stronger.

But no matter how much time has passed, the bullying of high school always came back to bite you in the ass.

Even with Jared’s help, you still sometimes felt very insecure about your appearance, even though it didn’t happen as often as it used to.

You were coming to the realization that it didn’t matter what other people thought, and Jared was there to help you when you relapsed in your thoughts.

Once the hyperventilation sunk in, you told yourself to get yourself together.

Jared was going to be calling soon, and you didn’t need your husband to see his wife wallowing in self pity.

You stood up on shaky legs and sat on the edge of the bed

No sooner than you sat down, you heard foot falls walking down the hallway towards the bedroom you currently sat in.

You wiped your eyes as your heart pounded in your chest. You looked around the room for anything that could be used as a weapon.

“Hey baby,” your husband voiced. His usual goofy grin was stretched across his face.

You gasped in surprise, “What are you doing here?”

“Surprising my wife,” he looked at you expectantly. He was awaiting his usual welcome home hug.

You didn’t move from your spot. He didn’t need to feel your disgusting body. “I thought you weren’t going to be home for another few weeks?”

“Jensen is directing the next few episodes and I asked him if we could take a few days off because of how much we’ve been filming.”

“Well thank god for easily manipulated best friends,” you tried to joke.

“What’s wrong?”

You huffed a slight laugh. You would never be able to understand how your husband always knew when something was off.

“It’s nothing, baby. I promise.”

“Y/N,” Jared’s voice was now soft, “Usually, when I surprise you we’d both be naked by now, but you haven’t moved. What’s wrong?”

Your voice cracked as you tried to keep the tears at bay. “It’s nothing. I’m just having a bad day.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he took a step closer.

You blinked rapidly, “It’s just...” you stopped as you choked on a sob. Jared was there in a moment. His arms wrapped around you protectively.

You buried your face in his chest as your body shook with the force of your sobs.

Jared waited patiently for you to gather your thoughts as he rubbed soothing circles on your back, “I’m just feeling really insecure today. I feel like everyone is watching and judging me and I just can’t take it right now.”

He stayed silent because he knew there was more to the story.

“All of my over thinking caused me to think back to high school. And now I feel bad because right now we should be celebration your arrival, but instead I’m crying while you’re holding me.”

Jared being your husband, knew about your past experiences and body image issues because of it. “There is no reason for you to apologize. Everyone has their bad days. I’ve had plenty of my own.”

You nodded your head, ‘I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I feel like a shit wife ‘cause I can’t even welcome you home properly.”

“Hey, shh. You are the farthest thing from a shit wife. Everything is going to be okay,” he said softly.

You looked up into his eyes. The eyes that held so much love for you. “How do you know?”

“What’s that thing that you always tell me?” he asked you.

“That I love you.”

He let out a slight chuckle. “Not that one. The thing you tell me when my depression is getting the better of me.”

You took the bait and answered him, “That you are enough.”

“That’s right, love,” he said. He lifted a hand and wiped away your tears. “I am enough. And so are you.”

You smiled up at him. Jared Padalecki may be 6′4, and have the ability to kick anyone’s ass, but he was the sweetest man you knew.

“I love you.”

He kissed you tenderly, “I love you more.”

Half an hour later, after sharing out the rest of your day, and hearing about Jared’s, the two of you went to bed.

You were mentally exhausted from all the over thinking you did that day.

“You feeling any better?” Jared mumbled tiredly.

You nodded and buried your head in the crook of his neck. “I love you, Jared.”

“I love you too Y/N,” he said as he kissed the top of your head as you fell into a deep sleep.

[andrea-odown]

Keep on Singing - Chapter 4

A Sing (2016)-fanfic.

Read it on FF.Net and AO3.

Description: A few months have passed since the grand re-opening of the Moon Theater. All in all everything seems to be fine. But under the surface, everyone has to deal with some problems. Ash is facing writer’s block with her new album, Rosita is enjoying her new life as a famous singer, but has less and less time for her family, Mike is still hiding from some angry bears, Meena may has overcome her insecurity when it comes to singing, but interviews are still a challenge for her, and Johnny wants to turn the garage he and his father used to live in into a youth center. And Buster has to keep the theater running while keeping Ms. Crawly from driving the new secretary crazy and writing a new play.

Chapter 4: Ash

Ash wakes to the ringing of the door bell.

Right, it’s Wednesday, she remembers, as she rolls out of bed, slips into a black vest to wear over her pajamas and drags her feet over to the apartment door.

Suppressing a yawn she opens the door.

And as every Wednesday she’s greeted by an enormous bouquet of red roses.

“Good morning, Ash!” says the delivery man from the flower shop. “Special delivery!”

“Good morning, Jared,” replies Ash. Yes, this has been going on for such a long time, she already knows his name. “Usual way of proceeding.”

“Okey-dokey!” Jared’s hippo-face turns into a broad grin. “The people at the hospital are going to be so happy again. Do you want the gift card?”

“As usual,” she replies.

She reaches for her purse, produces a bill and hands it to Jared. In return he gives her the gift card.

“Have a nice day, Ash!”

“You too, Jared!”

And then he’s on his way to the hospital with this enormous bouquet.

Ash closes the door.

She looks down at the gift card.

For a moment, she even thinks of reading it, but she has read the first three of them, and they all say the same.

How sorry he is, what a fool he is, that please she should give them another chance.

Ugh.

She tears the gift card into as small pieces as possible and throws it into the trash.

One would think Lance should have learned his lesson by now, but no. Every Wednesday - because they first met on a Wednesday, Ash remembers as much - he sends her flowers and a gift card.

And every Wednesday Ash sends the flowers on to the hospital. They don’t cheer her up, rather the opposite, so maybe they can do some good there.

Ash could really do without this feeling of anger every Wednesday morning, but she hasn’t told Lance so. Because she doesn’t talk to Lance at all.

She doesn’t call him back, she doesn’t answer his texts, she just feels the anger rise in her chest and swallows it down. It always leaves a bitter taste in her mouth which she could do without, too.

But now that she’s already up, she could just as well continue the work on her first album.

She prepares herself a nice cup of coffee and settles in on the floor of the living room with her guitar and her laptop.

She has already finished nine songs, well, eight, because the first one, “Set It All Free”, has been written before she found a label.

She still remembers what it has felt like to write that song. She wrote it to show them that she could do it. She wrote it to show  Lance that she’s got what it takes to be a singer.

In your face, Lance! - That has been her main drive for this song.

But as soon as she was up on that stage, Lance didn’t matter any longer. He was just a side note, somewhere in the back of her head. All that mattered was her song, the music, singing, and putting on a great show.

And she did it.

Everything had been a blur of events after that. The agent contacting her, the meetings with the label, the re-opening of the Moon Theater - she didn’t even have time to think about anything else than her music back then.

Sure, the day after the show in the ruins of the Moon Theater, Lance had contacted her, but she had ignored it, thinking that Lance would get the message.

And then he had started calling her every few hours, and still there had been so many things going on she didn’t even have time to get angry.

Besides, she had still been sure that he would get the message eventually.

But this is Lance after all.

His calls turned into texts which she ignored just like his calls.

And then, finally, things were starting to settle down a bit when the contract with the label was signed, the details of her first album had been agreed on, and she could finally get back to writing.

She remembers that she had smiled when she took out her phone and there were no new texts or calls from Lance.

Finally!

And then, the following Wednesday, the first bouquet arrived.

Ash sighs and shakes her head.

She doesn’t have to think about that now. She has to think about music and lyrics.

She stares at the strings of her guitar, plays a few chords, and they all sound wrong.

She sighs again.

It’s been like this for the past two weeks.

Sure, she has heard of writer’s block, she just hasn’t know it could happen to musicians, too.

She puts the guitar away and stares out of the window.

It seems to be a nice day out there.

An idea forms in her head and she finishes her coffee in big gulps.

Quickly, she jumps to her feet and runs to the bedroom to get dressed.

Maybe a change of scenery will do the trick.

The weather is really nice, and the atmosphere at the park is just as fine, Ash realizes, until she sets eyes on someone she hasn’t expected here.

The way this porcupine moves, the style of clothes - she knows it is Lance before he even turns around.

She comes to a halt, spins on her heel and walks away as fast as she can.

It takes all her self-control to not break into a jog.

However, today doesn’t seem to be her lucky day. She only managed a few meters when she hears Lance’s voice behind her.

“Ash!?” he calls out. “Ash, is that you?”

And then he’s by her side.

Ash keeps her eyes glued to the path.

“How are you, Ash?” Lance asks, a bit out of breath from running over to her.

“I’m fine,” she replies. “How’s Becky?”

From the corner of her eye she can see him flinch.

“I don’t know, actually,” he finally admits. “We aren’t dating anymore.”

“Oh, what a pity!” she replies, putting as much sarcasm into her voice as she can. “You two were perfect for each other!”

She can see some movement knows he’s rubbing over his neck, something he alway does when he’s nervous.

“Hey, did you get my flowers?” he asks all of a sudden.

“I did.”

“The gift cards?”

“Them, too.”

“So, what do you say?”

She stops so abruptly, Lance’s almost tumbling over in attempt to follow her suit.

“Are you even serious!?” she calls out.

It’s the first time she looks at him directly, and he looks so surprised by her outburst, she wants to slap him.

Why doesn’t he get it?!

“After all you’ve done to me,” she goes on, her voice a bit lower, but still louder than normal, “you really think I’d want to get back together?”

“Why not?”

“Why n…” Her voice breaks off mid-sentence and she lets out a frustrated groan. “You know what Lance, forget it! I don’t want to see your face ever again! Stop sending me flowers! Stop doing anything! Stop existing, for all I care!”

“Oh, come on, Ash, give me a chance! I’ve changed! Please!”

“When pigs fly!” she replies and starts walking again, her eyes anywhere but on Lance who’s already walking beside her again.

“But they do fly!” he says. “In helicopters and planes and…”

“Leave me alone already!”

“But Ash!”

“Hey, I think I heard the lady say no!” someone says all of a sudden, someone with a voice strangely familiar.

Ash twists her mouth just a little as she sets eyes on Mike.

Granted, though, she isn’t as annoyed to see him as she usually would be.

“That’s none of your business, rodent!” Lance replies.

“Oh, isn’t it?” Mike says. “Maybe my friends can explain it to you.”

And then his bodyguards - why does he always have bodyguards with him, Ash wonders - walk up to Lance. Facing a rhino and a polar bear instead of a tiny mouse makes Lance retreat a few steps. When they come even closer, he turns around and jogs away.

“See you around, Ash!” he calls over his shoulder, and then he’s gone.

The bodyguards take up their post close to Mike again.

“What are you doing here?” Ash asks the mouse.

“What? No thank you, Mike, for saving me from my crazy boyfriend? I am hurt!” Mike puts a hand over his heart and truly does look hurt. However, he’s always be a quite good actor.

“Ex-boyfriend,” Ash corrects him. “And I had everything under control. Lance is a jerk, but he isn’t dangerous.”

“If you say so, sweetheart,” Mike says. “And to answer your question, I’m checking out a new spot for my next pop-up concert.”

“I see,” Ash says. “Bye, Mike!”

She’s already a few steps away, when she stops again. She looks back over her shoulder at Mike.

“And thank you,” she says quickly.

Mike taps his hat as some sort of a greeting. “You’re welcome, sweetheart!”

And then he, together with his bodyguards, is on his way again.

So this change of scenery hasn’t quite worked the way out she wanted, Ash figures, but maybe some other scenery will do.

And with that she sets into motion again, leading her steps into the direction of the Moon Theater.

[trueidolkotodia]

Things I learned from this Kotori Event:

Don’t try to grind to the Event SR while you are sick with a horrible cold :-)