#My goodest child.

[heavensbled]

I'm only on Chapter 5...maybe 6? So it's gonna be slow going for me to finish Rebirth but I'm not rushin' it! No spoilers on this blog though, and I'm kinda shyin' away from being online until I've completed it just in case I get spoiled for something.

Safe to say this cause we all know it's in OG but I'm on my way out of Costa Del Sol tomorrow. I need to see more of my son. I need to know they don't do him dirty. I need to know he survives this... Hell, I'm 17 hours in and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN HIM AGAIN. Granted like six of those hours are like four sidequests I'm bad at this don't judge me.

[didee-anne]

Today was a pretty great day. I woke up with Ror when he got up for work and chatted with him for a bit before he left. Since it was early I went back to sleep for another couple hours before getting up and showering and getting ready for the day. I used the blowout brush on my hair which I don’t do often even though I always love how it looks when I do. Met my oldest daughter for our monthly coffee date at our favorite coffee house and caught up with her. We have a little book we update every month with what the two of us were up to individually and as a family and we look back through all the pictures we’ve taken over the last month. I really enjoy it and I’m hoping that by building the habit now while she’s still at home that maybe we can keep it up when she moves out in a couple years. After Jen left I stayed at the coffee shop until it closed and helped get stuff ready to go into the Christmas boxes assembly-line style. My friend’s goal was to raise enough funds to ship 75 boxes by holding a raffle. Long story short we stuffed 164 boxes this afternoon!!! She was giddy and I loved getting to contribute to that!! After I left Lofty I met my girlfriend Kelly for a workout and dinner. We were originally planning on sushi but had a change of plans and went to a pub instead. I’d never been and it was delicious. It was so good to catch up. Now I’m home and Oso is snuggled up with me and Sammie just got herento hang out for a bit!

[sharoscylla]

@nerves-nebula 🥺🥺 I love poor ole scromkly forsake-not and I love how sad his life is and how tragic his story goes but within seconds of seeing the last pic of him looking so cute and soft and hopeful and Baby I thought, What If An AU Where His Goo Brother Is There And Loves Him So Much And Now They Can Crawl Out Of This Cave Together And Be Best Bros

🥺🥺🥺

What if…….bros processing this horror together

[gwiazdowe]

Post Inquisitorious Cirz spends the rest of his years regaining the love for the world that he had as a child. I think there is nothing more beautiful than him falling in love with the galaxy twice. Even if the galaxy has became progressively uglier

[httpsuniverse]

mr lover [ ben chilwell ]

— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell family time

view all 592 comments

user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??

user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever

user they’re such dog parents 😭

yourusername my babyyy my babyyy

benchilwell which one?

yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who

benchilwell 🙄

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others

yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.

view all 826 comments

user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭

benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back

yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman

user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her

yourusername i birthed this child

benchilwell huh

yourusername huh

user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog

yourusername if he fits, he sits

user agreed 🤝

user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person

user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid

yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret

benchilwell what? no way

yourusername heheheheheheheeh

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, judebellingham and others

benchilwell home is where the heart is.

view all 289 comments

yourusername but god i love the english

benchilwell you know i love a london boy

yourusername 🫣🫣

user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman

benchilwell i cant blame him

yourusername i told you i birthed this dog

benchilwell 😂

yourprivate

liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others

yourprivate hehe oops

view all comments

mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!

yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh

mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE

benspriv little chilly 🔜

masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account

reecespriv me too mate

christiansprivme three

jackspriv me four

benspriv me five

yourpriv what

benspriv what

yourusername and benchilwell

liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others

yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈

view all 399,826 comments

benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be

yourusername mines funnier

benchilwell 🙄

masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute

yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀

masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!

user this is the cutest announcement 😭

user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!

weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!

user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)

yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW

user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional

— ❤️ by yourusername

england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍

chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?

yourusername omg YES PLEASE

benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️

yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE

benchilwell

liked by prodbymika, masonmount, madders, england and others

benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both

comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others

yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)

view all 150,729 comments

benchilwell 🩷🩷

user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹

user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭

user the hand placements of ben 😭

user i’m so alone yall

user AAA y/n 🥺

user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername and benchilwell

2,836,729 likes

yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨

view all 238,861 comments

benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲

user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad

user stopp im emo im not even a parent

user omg eleanor looks so cute!!

user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum

user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor

user they have a little ballerina 🥺

user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg

yourusername i know right 🥺

user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN

[me-in-my-autumnsweater]

dog nicknames are always like “goodest boi” or “sweetie pie” or “lil floofy” but here is a list of things i call my fish on a regular basis:

- My Son

- old sport

- sport

- little guy

- sir

- child of divorce

EDIT: thanks for all the love on this, Holden died in February but every time i get notified for this it makes me happy to know how appreciated he is.

[amhrosina]

Frank Castle x Reader Instagram AU

MASTERLIST // JOIN MY TAGLIST

(a/n: this is something new that i’m trying and it won’t be replacing my fics at all i just wanted to try something new!!! if it flops then oh well lol i didn’t mean for this to be so dog-centric but there’s a LOT of pictures of jon with his dogs, please enjoy and if you have requests for more instagram au’s please send them!!!)

Liked by frankcastle, karen_page, nelson.foggy, and 742 others

yourusername love my family <3 (photo taken by yours truly!)

View all 49 comments

frankcastle We love you more sweetheart.

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

nelson.foggy i love love!

matthewmurdock You literally gagged and said 'gross' when this picture first showed up on your phone.

yourusername foggy!!

nelson.foggy i didn't realize i was best friends with a snitch, matt.

karen_page this is such a great photo of them! how did you get him to sit so still?

yourusername frank or max? neither of them likes to cooperate.

billsrusso fucker’s old

yourusername i hope you’re talking about frank and not my darling child

billsrusso of course dear

frankcastle Fuck y’all🖕🏼

Liked by yourusername, david.micro, curtisss, karen_page, and 58 others

frankcastle This dog’s always in my face about somethin’

View all 11 comments

yourusername he’s asking for more treats (which you should give him because he’s the goodest boy)

frankcastle You already gave him two today!

yourusername three, but who’s counting???

david.micro he’s trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty

curtisss big love!

Liked by frankcastle, imnotdaredevil, nelson.foggy, and 698 others

yourusername save a horse ride a cowboy ammiright???

View all 36 comments

frankcastle I can’t believe you used THAT caption🤦🏻‍♂️

yourusername i knew you’d love it😇

matthewmurdock right!

matthewmurdock oh shit, wrong account

imnotdaredevil right!

yourusername NOT THE FINSTA MATT💀

frankcastle What the fuck is a finsta?

Liked by yourusername, billsrusso, matthewmurdock, and 68 others

frankcastle putting in work with my favorite alter boy @ matthewmurdock

View all 17 comments

yourusername shit, baby!😮‍💨

frankcastle 😏

matthewmurdock i can’t tell if this is an insult or not

frankcastle it is

yourusername it’s not

nelson.foggy clearly my invitation was lost in the mail

billsrusso hell yeah brother!

frankcastle Come by when you want to get some real work done, brother💪🏼

- - -

yourusername added to their story

- - -

frankcastle added to their story

------------

Tag List (I did make a section in my tag list request form for Instagram AUs if you want to update your form!!):

@xleiaorgana @mukbee @dilfs5678 @kokoterainonago666 @blackwidownat2814 @callsign-mama @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @messymissy @mylifeispainandiloveit @mossexe @fightmilk @spikedhe4rt @fictional-hooman @merleisapartygod @babyslyth @legocity2 @quackson03 @certifiedhunter @deliciousfestsalad @dumb-fawkin-bitch @americaarse @thatgirljayy @hiyabyeyababy @theesexystallion @scoliobean @myguiltypleasures21 @dnxgma @evyiione @gpenguin666 @desert-fern @day-dreaming-goddess @rayray787 @ginnysculture @ryebreadsworld @laaundromat @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @lilyevans1 @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout @blep--bloop @kpopgirlbtssvt @aynsleywalker @queenofthenoobs

[octopotto]

General Yandere! Silver Headcanons (TWST)

OCTO NOTE: SILVER DIDN'T COME HOME SO HERE'S HOW I'M COPING 😭😭

Late headcanons for the birthday boy!

Warnings: NOT PROOF-READ, the grammar here is a warning itself, Yandere behaviour, soft yandere, obsession, OOC madness, unhealthy behaviours, Lilia is an enabler, this is like a week late lol

**WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR TWISTED WONDERLAND

REMINDER: Yandere behaviour of any kind is unhealthy behaviour. It should not be something to seek out in real life. If you are experiencing any sort of inappropriate behaviour, please contact help/seek out help.

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral! 

———————————-••———————————

- Soft

- So soft

- Like the softest

- And the goodest of boys

- Like why is he even going to NRC??

- Probably only attends NRC because of Malleus and Lilia like he legit does not fit in lmaoo

- Out of all of the TWST guys, he’s probably the most tamed and humane yandere out of all of them (which makes sense tbh).

- You guys could’ve met in many ways due to what the MC has to go through (thanks to a certain deadbeat crow).

- Silvers reaction to you at first could end up two ways:

One: After asking you if you’ve seen Malleus anywhere, he just moves on with his duties. This would be a slow-type of process. He would also lean towards the oblivious side when it comes to his feelings for you.

Two: it’s love at first sight. 

- Going off the 2nd reason mentioned, since Silver is mostly likely the descendant/based on Aurora and Prince Phillip, he could technically fit into the ‘Disney-Princess stereotype’: where the princess would fall in love with a person who is kind to them. 

- Regardless of either scenario mentioned, Silver is not the type to act on his feelings right away. He’s self-aware about how he feels about you, but wouldn’t be the type of person to go up to you and say “It’s meant to be!” Or “You’re my prince/ss! And we’re going to live happily ever after! UwU *sunshine and rainbows* *singing birds*”

- Silver knows that he likes you so he would seek out your company in order to get to know you better. Whether it be for lunch, studying, or just talking to you, he will make sure to spend time with you when he can. 

- He’s just going to end up sleeping on your shoulder anyways lol.

- Sliver: *Literally almost collapsing on the ground while hanging out together* 😌😪😴😴

- You: *Wanting to wake him up but not having the heart to after seeing how peaceful he looks* 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

- Silver is also the type to use old-fashioned ways to win you over. 

- Advice from his ever so-loving and caring father Lilia of course—

- Flowers sent by his little bird friends with a note containing romantic poems, tried greeting you with a little kiss on your hand, holding the door for you even if you you’re not even near the door yet (awkward loving eye contact while you’re speed walking to the door)

- You get the idea

- Speaking of Lilia, I 100% believe that he would enable Silver to act on his yandere tendencies (whether it’s on purpose or not).

- I mean cmon, if you were in Lilia’s shoes wouldn’t you want your own child to be happy with the one they love the most?

- Even if it’s illegal but who’s asking?

- He’s probably just doing this for the wedding that he totally did not plan in advance whaa—??

- Also, Silver probably doesn’t develop any yandere tendencies until the middle of y’all’s relationship tbh.

- If he does develop yandere tendencies before or early in the process, it’s most likely due to Lilia’s influence.

- Like I mentioned before, Silver is most likely the best— if not the BEST— yandere to end up with based on his overall personality.

- I know that yandere tendencies can lead characters to act ooc but for Silver, the stereotypical yandere is too extreme for his type of person. 

- DOES NOT EXCUSE THE BEHAVIOURS OR ACTS.

- Again, very soft and gentle 

- Would treat you with soft caresses and kisses, especially when cuddling.

- Would never use brutal force or inflict any sort of harm on you unless it’s by accident.

- Silver can’t and won’t harm you as it would put your life in jeopardy (doesn’t matter what it is).

- Daily naps always

- If you’re sleeping, he’s sleeping

- If he’s sleeping, you’re sleeping (or just lying there)

- Silver just can’t help but sleep in your presence. It’s not that you’re boring no way, you just give off this peaceful aura that enormously makes him sleepy.

- Basically when you’re around he has the best naps in the world.

- He rather sleeps in your dorm than his own just because of you. He’s probably seen the evolution of Ramshackle depending on when he acted on his feelings.

- Lilia just hanging upside down on a nearby branch, watching y’all from the distance and cooing how cute you guys are: 🥰🥰🙃🙃🥰🥰

- If there’s ever a joint class between the 1st and 2nd years, the teachers always make sure that you two are apart.

- Much to Lilia’s dismay if he hears about this.

- Because when you’re around, Silver ain’t getting nothing done. Not when your soft shoulder is the best pillow he has ever laid his head on. 

- Besides your lap ofc—

- Also, a good listener!

- If you have a problem or you need to rant to someone, Silver is your guy.

- He doesn’t mind at all (he really likes your voice, happy or pissed off).

- Just don’t tell him specific details or else something might happen (and it won’t be pretty).

- He adores quality time as well as physical contact with you. Holding hands, sleeping next to each other, etc. 

- He loves it when you play with his hair. He would intentionally lay his head down on your lap so you have easier access to his hair.

- Remember when Vil braided Silver's bangs back for the Fairy Gala Remix event?

- If you can do that, Silver will always go to you to do his hair. 

- He would definitely let you experiment with his hair as well. 

- Ponytails, pigtails, a little bun, he’ll love it all if it’s done by you.

- He would even let you dye his hair as well if you wanted.

- Hell, if you mentioned that you find long hair attractive, Rapunzel better watch out, she’s now competing with a sleepy-simp.

- If we’re going to dive into spoiler territory, it’s most likely won’t change the story lol.

- For Book 7, even if Malleus gives Silver his happily ever after with you, he still wouldn’t be happy.

- Silver might be ecstatic that you reciprocated his feelings, but he would rather have this in the real world instead.

- Not in a toxic dream world that Malleus made up due to overblot.

- Hell, I don’t even believe that dream would come true because Yuu is in another place entirely due to Malleus influence.

- Which motivates Silver to fix this problem even more.

- So happy to find you alright.

- Overall, Silver is just a huge simp for you. 

- Not really violent unless necessary.

- Very loving and caring

- Will do everything in his power to make you happy.

- Best boi no debates

- TLDR: Silver’s a bottom lol

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTES: Okay I know this wasn’t really yandere but I feel that it would be too OOC for Silver. 

Anyways! Thanks for reading <33 This is the first time that I wrote for Silver. 

Also THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 14 LIKES ON MY CLOUD STRIFE HEADCANONS!!❤️❤️ I LEGIT SCREAMED WHEN I SAW 1 LIKE LOL

I’ll work on part 2 of his headcanons soon don’t worry! Again thank you all so much!!

Heres the Cloud Strife headcanons if you're curious: Yandere! Cloud Strife HC's (Platonic)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Captain Holt Plots (B99): RIP Andre Braugher

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

So as if this year hadn't piled enough death on me.. yesterday Andre Braugher of Brooklyn 99 fame died. Braugher was a comedic genius, great at drama and it's sad to see him go just as his career was having one hell of a second act.

Figuring out how to honor Andre.. was tough. I didn't have time for a full review of some of his best episodes, a story arc or the normal things i'd do, and a list of just Holt's best moments wouldn't really portray the characters depth. Don't get me wrong there's a LOT of hilarious little holt moments from "Hot damn!" to "Bam had it both ways" but it just didn't do the character justice. Holt was a character funny for his stoicism, his outburst of emotion clashing with that, and his chemistry with just about everyone on cast.

So I found a comprimise, something small I could do before my two bigger reviews this week, but something that still pays full service to what a great character Raymond Holt was... and how much of it was Braugher's amazing comedic timing and great dramatic talent. Ray MIGHT of existed without Captain Holt, but he wouldn't of been such a JOY to watch every time if it weren't for Braugher.

So I picked my 12 faviorite plots starring Captain Holt. Husband, Captain, Robot. Meeep Morp.

12. VINDICATTTTITOOOOOONNNN (Episode: Monster in the Closet)

Look a lot of this subplot making it here is this moment, from the fist pump to just how Braugher plays the word like an instrument, but the plot itself is comedy gold: Rosa Diaz, bisexual icon, is having a rush wedding to absentee boyfriend and human disaster Adrian Pimento, who returned after months in hiding the way anyone having a normal one does: by hiding in a child's closet.

Naturally this wedding didn't end up happening.. but it did bring us one of Holt's best running gags: his love of balloon arches. It's something that makes perfect character sense: he's a perfectionist, he loves art, and it's just weird enough to still be funny while not so weird you can't understand why Holt would be doing this. Holt pettily popping the ballons when crticized and going into a creative tailspin over minor critcisims is just gold and the payoff, him getting his VINDIIIICAAAATTTIOOOONNNNNN is both sweet.. and purespun gold from the highest of heavens.

11. The Disco Strangler Returns (He Said She Said) One of the serious episodes of the series, dealing with Amy and Jake tackling a sexual harassment case and Amy revealing her own assault, was paired with one of the series silliest, funnest b-plots.

This one COULD be here just on the strength of "And you'll here it again" but has way more to offer as Holt chases down his former nemesis the Disco Strangler after he seemingly dies, convinced he's alive while Terry and Boyle are convinced he just can't accept his enemey's death. Turns out their wrong though as the Strangler is alive, worked his groovy voodoo on a way younger woman and has one of the funniest scenes in the show as Holt TRIES to have a big action hero final talk with his nemisis.. only for the man to be largely deaf. It's a gag that shoudln't work but Baugher's commitment to the bit carries it, as does the reality of the strangler being so old and feeble hitting Raymond about his own mortality.

10. The Heists (Various Episodes)

Yeah this one's a bit of a cheat as it was hard to pick just one Heist Plot: After the first two their largely ensemble pieces. But it'd also be criminal to ignore just how SERIOUS Holt takes the annual halloween heists, from training his dog for them, to calling a fake replacement for Cheddar (the goodest of boys) "This bitch?", the Heists brought out the pettiest, hammiest parts of holt and the best of Braugher's comedey from threatning to slit his two protege's "from head to anus and wear them as a jacket", to his flight of the valkyries entrance, Holt was always a delight.

9. Pie (Two Turkey's) The shows final thanksgiving gave us it's best thanksgiving plot, and a nice spotlight on Holt's relationship with his Husband , kevin. Holt's queerness was baked into the character, being why it took him so long to climb the latter and why Kevin takes ab it to warm up to his new coworkers, as most of Ray's past coworkers were racist, homophobic or both. Holt and Kevin were just as weirdly stoic, with Mark Evan Jackson having great chemistry with Braugher.

The couple also just had their own weird things such as getting a special pie every year to get a pie for thanksgiving and finding the hours spent in dead silence on the trip deeply romantic.

Said pie is also what sets off the plot as it goes missing and Holt blames the presicnt and goes into full petty holt mode, one of the best kinds of holt. HOlt isn't the only star here as near constant fuckups and wallpaper Hitchcock and Scully prove useful for once as Holt investigates Rosa, Terry and Boyle. We get great moments from the three too as Boyle calls his own son "a basic bitch" and Rosa reveals an embarassing minons t-shirt as she rebonds with her family post jailtime.

Holt interogating everyone and going full ham would be enough to land it here.. but what elevates it to this slot is the ending: Holt finds out the culprit was Kevin, who hates the pie but would miss the drive. HOlt suggests simply.. taking the drive for fun and Kevin is super horny for that. It's adorable, sweet and a great capper to one of the shows best subplots.

8. Let's Never Talk About Anything (Stakeout)

This is a quick one as it's mostly on the comedy but it's a scenario that's both deeply, deeply funny, and involves one of the shows best duos: Rosa, the stoic bicon herself, and Holt. Both being stoic queer persons, they naturally get along great. And of course it's natural Rosa ends up the one in a very awkward situation through almost no fault of her own: Holt brings his cardboard standee of a human being Nephew named Marcus, whose staying with him for some reason never elaborated upon because Marcus is here for one thing: to date rosa and have one of the best awkward morning afters EVER: He tries to sneak rosa out.. only for Holt and Kevin to naturally both be up, and his using her full name and mild confusion are just.. great. The wrap up, that Rosa and Holt are both FINE not talking about this or anything ever, is great. The followup plot with the two forced into a dinner is fine, but this first interaction and the two being on the same stoic page is gold.

7. Apparently That's a Trigger For Me (The Box)

This is another one that has a strong moment couched in, but really the Box is just a very strong episode, a tense 22 minutes as Jake and Holt team up to try and get a confession out of a local dentist played by sexiest man alive Sterling K Brown, who does great getting under their skin, including with said doctor bit as Docterates are a bit of a trigger for Holt. the episodes fantastic chess match between our faviorite duo and Brown is just fun to watch and it's only this low because Jake gets the big finale. But Holt's oh damns are still vital. As is his over the top reservation cancelation. God bless this man. I miss you andre.

6. They never actually said No (Full Boyle)

Like, really, ALL of these there's a classic gag couched in here as Holt explains how he formed his black gay and lesbian police orginzation: he pitched it to his fellow entirely white and certainly straight cops who laughed their asses off.. then went ahead and got the funds since they were too busy being jackassses to say no. Dark, hilarious, and perfectly showing just how much shit holt's been through trying to get here.

And that background helps shape this plot which while not laugh FREE is mostly anchored on the good Captain's character journey: when a younger officer plans to challenge holt for predsency, Holt, as you'd expect digs in and refuses. He's not at full ham yet, but he's still fully willing to fight tooth and nail for this, that after all he had to go just to make this group, brian wouldn't understand

It's Gina of all characters who points out that's why he made the group. So younger officers wouldn't have to go through that. Brian has new ideas to genuinely improve and open up the doors for more queer black officers, and Holt recognizes that and steps aside.. though if he screws up he will impeach him. He's happy for him but he will impeach him.

5. I've Glanced At His Work Satchel (The Honeypot)

This episode's a-plot is just one long hilaroius bit of holt deadpanning as he gets a new assitant to replace Gina.. only to find the guy flirting with him. Having his tie slightly ajar and inviting him to a barrel museum counts as flirting in Holt's book. Turns out Gordon is a spy for our heroes latest nemisiss, corrupt comissioner kelly, and this brings this plot to ahead as finding out, and getting evidence hw as actively spying on them finally gets rid of the old bastard. It's a nice payoff.. but it's really here because Holt declaring a barrel museum an erotically charged atmosphere is classic deadpan holt. If you want premium deadpan holt, this is your episode.

4. Terry Come Here and Dangle Me Off the Edge of this Building (Bad Beat)

This episode is one of my faviorites, having both a lot of rich character stuff for holt.. and a lot of funny deadpan for holt.

This ep reawakens something that's mostly come up previously as a joke: holt had a serious gambling addiction in his past and when Jake and Terry come to him for help with a poker case, Holt's forced to join in as the two have obvious tells.

Holt's relapse is a nice mix of hilaroius and deeply troubling: he's betting on childrenj's gymnastics (No jayla don't drop the baton!) runs up to the roof when the pagent's cut off and as seen above wants Terry to dangle him over a roof.. Braugher does a hell of a job threading a very narrow needle here: Hotl's antics are funny, but still jarring enough to be worrying.. .and the laughter stop when Jake pulls the one card he has... he'll tell kevin, an idea alone that DEVISTATES holt as he can't put kevin through that again.

Unfortunately it's not THAT easy as Holt goes rogue.. then nearly gets captured, having to use improper grammar and admitting he needs help. Ther'es no easy answers here and while granted Holt's addiction never comes up again.. it's a sign addiction dosen't go away easily and everyone needs help.

3. The System (Moo Moo) Props to Brooklyn 99 as depsite being a cop show, it pointed out many a problem in the NYPD and police in general long before George Floyd made it too loud to ignore for us white dumbasses.

This episode is the main showcase of that: while the show had plenty of corrupt cops for our heroes to foil, Moo Moo shows the system ITSELF is broken and ther'es no easy answer to fix it.

The setup is simple, heartbreakingly common, and painful: Terry goes out at night in his nice neighborhood looking for one of his daughters "moo moo", her faviorite toy.. only to get accosted by a police officer, with only the fact he IS an officer making this end well.

Terry does try to handle this peacefully, inviting the guy to lunch, and trying to explain why racial profiling him like that was fucking awful. The officer dosen't listen, only thinks he was wrong because Terry is also a cop, and is generally a dick.

This leaves terry, who has a promotion on the table, with a fairly simple path: report the son of a bitch. Except .. HOlt dosne't send it in. Holt wants Terry to stay quiet, so Terry can get promoted. it's one of the oldest fights in a broken system: Should you make noise and take care of something horrible immdeitly, or stay quite and let harm go on so you can do more good later. The latter is clearly Holt's go to not out of corruption but out of survival: as a black gay cop, he had no real allies for the longest time, and thus had to simply keep his nose to the ground and work his way up to where he had real power. Terry on the other hand, argues, rightly that he dosen't want another man like him to go through this, one without a badger and that his career... simply isn't worth more innocnet black men being arrested falsely. There isn't an easy resolution with both acknowlding each others point: Holt supports terry and gets the guy fired, but Terry is passed over impliclty as a result and admits he could've impacted more change. Terry still did the right thing.. but it wasn't the easy thing. Police.. .simply aren't set up to properly police themselves and change is needed and it was noble of b99 to point that out without going over the top with it.

2. BOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE (The Skyfire Cycle)

Okay look while this plot is good on it's own (I"m teaching father the math!) it's up this high ENTIRELY due to the Bone Scene. You've seen it, i've seeen it, it's the reason this plot goes from "pretty good" with Rosa seeing through holt's math problem to his marital issues and need to get laid, and Amy trying hard to impress her dads and acting lik ea grossed out child anytime holt's sex life comes up. This bit belongs to braugher.. but you NEED Beatriz and Fumero to set it up so perfectly and react so great to it.

Rosa being rosa just comes out and says "You just need to bone" and holt LOOOSES IT.

Every line from that moment is pure poetry from Braugher's mouth, from his squeaky "what'dyousay" to his shakesperean "hooooowww dare you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER." and of course his glorious shouts of BONE and BONNNNENEEEEE while he VIBRATES ON HIS DOORFRAME. His quick yups in the resolution are the cheery on top of the greatest comedy sundae ever conducted by man. Sports. This subplot hinges on one joke.. but when it's the series best joke, it's REALLY hard to argue. It's only not #1.. because our #1 is CRAMMED with jokes near this level.

Ding Dong The Wuntch Is Dead (Ding Dong)

Ding Dong is one of my faviorite episodes of B99. Even it's subplot's grown on me with Terry bending a quarter in mid air and the strawberry basket. But let's face it while the subplot is.. kay, it's the main event that makes it a classic and when I do the inevetible top 12 list, possibly for feburary, this episode is almost guarnateed a spot for damn good reason.

If your wondering why I haven't brought up Holt's legendary rivarly with Madeline Wuntch it's because while their all fucking gold, their teid into larger plots. And while this one kinda is, with Wuntch's death wrapping up Holt's time as a patrol officer, it's really just there to sned the character off and give us one of the funniest episodes in human history.

Everything about Holt's petty rivarly with Wuntch that makes it one of the best thigns in the show is on display here and the shock I had to the opening of ding dong was palpable: Holt's making his usual jabs, calling her a korean tolilet ghost (and having gone to korea just to find new monsters to call her).. before Terry, trying and failing to head this off drops the bomb: Wuntch is dead. Naturally Holt dosen't buy it, assuming we'd hear the children singing (all the childrne everywhere), and having to see her body for himself. Given their rivarly and what an elaborate scheme Wuntch left FOR her funeral, it's not hard to see why.

What follows is the very best of petty holt from the glory that is BAGEL, BAGEL, to his assumption ET is a monster because "he caused quite a comotion), Baugher is at his PEAK this episode comedically, handeling his Rival's death with joy and too many lines to count, with Amy's horror and Rosa's unabashed joy at his pettiness being perfect bounce off points.

Add in comedy legend Micheal Mcdonald as Wuntch's nephew playing her rival, a fake funeral and an attempted funmeral full of balloon arches and bright pastels and you have one of the greatest peices of televesion comedy ever. Rest in peace Andre.... your dearly missed.

[sakura-rose12]

Okay, but as amazing as it is to see you absolutely thriving with the One Piece content, I want to throw some love at Dame Daffodil, too!

You're just out here!!! Making a comic!!! Full of the goodest little beans!!!! For us to read about!!!

Seriously, I've been following since your Miraculous fanart. I stuck around for Dame Daffodil and you've just come so far with them! ❤️

I love Charo (sunshine child), I love Alesea (sweet voice of reason), I love Anselmo (grumpy man protecc), and I adore Athan (precious baby).

I just...... any day reading Dame Daffodil is a good day, and I'm so happy you're sharing your brain-babies with us 🥰

ASIDNFJRJ THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GONNA CRY

Thank you for the kind words about my webcomic!!! It means so much to me!!!

And since Miraculous, that's such a long time!! Thank you for being here!!

[nolita-fairytale]

🍝 thinking of bradley bradshaw adopting a pet from a shelter that he’d name something creative goose… what do you think would happen? would he end up doing it or do you think you’d surprise him with baby goose who has an old soul and loves it when you guys put some of his parents’ favourite records on (okay i’m gonna shut up and leave it to you)

thank you for considering and i hope u have the best day or night <3

hi @bradshawed! yes, i love this idea! here are my thoughts on adopting a dog with bradley:

Adopting Pet(s) with Bradley Bradshaw

it's after a few months-long of a deployment that bradley insists on revisiting the subject. sure, you've talked about it before, but it's after this particular deployment that he really gets serious. not only does he want you to have something to keep you company for next time, but he wants to put down roots, just more proof that he's ready to settle down with you.

for whatever reason, i absolutely see bradley bradshaw with a dog, at least at first. after all the hot welcome home sex, the follow saturday the two of you head to an adoption event where adoption fees are waived and pets can be brought home that day.

"yes, we can go but i really think we should take our time with our choice. this is permanent, baby, so let's make sure the dog's gonna be the right fit for... our little family," you explain to him.

the two of you walk through the rows of crates and playpens of enthusiastic dogs, ready for cuddles, and despite bradley's own set of adorable puppy eyes with each dog he holds, none of them feel right.

it's not till you're just about to leave that the two of you stumble upon a sleepy quiet dog, one that must not have gotten noticed because he isn't as outgoing as the others.

"he's six years old. and everyone wants a puppy," one of the vet techs explains. you look into his eyes and he has the oldest soul, the sweetest, gentlest, kindest eyes and you know that he's the one.

"i know that you think we should wait but-," bradley begins, having already fallen in love with your future son. "yes. yes, i think he's the one."

so the two of you build your dreams, and a family with the goodest boy in all of the world. picking a name comes easier than you thought. after a few days of living with you, he begins barking as soon as goose's old jerry lee lewis record makes it into your vinyl rotation.

"what's wrong, boy? what do you see?" bradley asks him. "babe, i think he likes the music," you giggle, totally in love with the new addition to your family. "so we call him 'goose.'" "we call him, goose."

how you and bradley get a cat: you spend six wonderful months as a solo pet owner, and goose as an only child, before a neighborhood stray starts coming around. you hadn't planned on taking him in, just feeding him every now and then, until you realize that bradley's been feeding him every day, which is why keeps coming back. he's so friendly and cuddly, and while hesitant at first, has met goose a few times in the backyard too.

bradley has a long weekend of on base training, and when he comes home sunday night, you're practically pushing him out onto the front porch to talk first. you've even buttered him up by making his favorite dinner so that he's more likely to say 'yes.'

"what's going on?" he asks you. "okay, don't kill me. but... i sort of... did something. don't freak out... but i kinda let the cat in. you know. your favorite neighborhood stray. and he won't leave. "are you serious?"

as bradley comes inside, your shared home smelling like his favorite meal, goose is curled up on the couch while the stray kitty sleeps curled in a ball on top of the back of the couch. while neither of you were planning on adding to your family so soon, he looks at the two of them, then back to you, and he doesn't have the heart to say no.

"so... we have a cat now." "yeah, i think we have a cat now."

[randoimago]

Hi! Can I request some fluff headcanons for Yuri Briar, Franky Franklin and Sylvia Sherwood? Thanks!

Fluff Headcanons

Fandom: Spy x Family

Character(s): Yuri Briar, Franky Franklin and Sylvia Sherwood

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Sylvia's personality section literally says "not much is shown to get an understanding of her" so I'm trying my best with the limited things there are 😭

Franky

Franky is bad at words when it comes to you since he loves you so much. So, he ends up sending you so many little letters or putting sticky notes all over the place. There's a lot of redacted on the letters and notes since he spent all night trying to get it right.

Tries so hard to be smooth when it comes to you. He wants to be the ultimate gentleman with holding doors open for you, giving you his arm when you walk, things like that. Has tried pulling a push door before to be chivalrous. It made you smile, which he loves, but god does he stay awake at night mortified about what he did.

Does try to make you smile constantly. Tells you lots of stupid jokes and cheesy pick-up lines. Probably stumbles on the punchline a bit, but you still smile and that's enough for him. Has also made sure to walk Bond over to you because people love dogs, and he hopes you love him more for showing you the goodest boy.

Sylvia

Keeps an eye on you from a distance. She wants to make sure you're okay and safe, but she doesn't want to get too close. So, she makes sure to watch from afar as that is the easiest way to make sure you're safe.

Sylvia has been through a lot with losing her partner and child due to the war, so she is making sure that you're happy. She uses a disguise so she can talk to you as a stranger or just be a friend for you when you need it. Honestly doesn't mind if your relationship stays purely platonic as long as she can still be close to you.

When she does have a very rare break then she likes to go to a cafe she's seen you frequenting. While her taste in drink and food probably isn't the same as yours, there's a comfort to buying what you regularly get. And if you do end up showing up too, then she's glad to have you join her.

Yuri

You get so many flowers from Yuri. Even if the flowers he gave you previously haven't wilted yet, you're getting a new bouquet. You might need to ask him to lay off the flowers for a bit.

He can't always spend time with you like he wants because of his job so he makes sure to call you whenever he can just to remind you, he loves you. Honestly loses track of time when he calls you because he just wants to hear your voice and his boss has yelled at him many times to pay attention.

Always tries to hear about any cute thing or something you saw while window shopping or just on a walk so he can secretly buy it for you. He makes lots of money from his job and he's happy to spoil you. Sends you presents labeled as a "secret admirer" because he thinks that's cute (he has forgotten he labeled the gift that way before and has definitely gotten very jealous until he remembered it's from him).

[bhawk-goose]

I've just started watching the Pokemon anime from the beginning for some reason and I already have some thoughts. I'm just using this post as a journal.

Firstly, Professor Oak is a cruel man, he knew all the pokemon other than Pikachu were taken and still made Ash go through the process of picking up each.

Also, this show is like 30 years old so you'd think comedy would be different, but for some reason Pikachu playing baseball with is pokeball is the funniest shit ever to me.

Pikachu has already shown it is far too powerful. I get that pokemon are generally more powerful than humans, there's a reason trainers have their pokemon beat the shit out of wild pokemon on their behalf instead of just doing it themselves, but god. Pikachu knocked out twelve people, most of which were probably adults. AND Ash is also godlike, he was the closest to Pikachu. He was the one that the electric current went through to knock out the twelve people in the crowd, but he was fucking FINE. Just some scorch marks, that's it. This is a ten year old child, with that level of current he should be dead. He should be just a charred skeleton.

Has Ash done no research or is only being able to say their name specific to Pikachu? It's an animal, what the fuck did he expect? Does he also expect a response when he asks a dog who the goodest boy is?

Next, Pikachu hates being confined, so removing the waist-leash made sense, but why the gloves? They weren't even touching Pikachu, they were on his hands.

why is there boss music playing when Pidgey appears and Ash thinks he's gonna fight it? He's specifically fighting it because it's easy. Also I'm putting it on the same line cuz it's the same scene basically, what kind of yawn was that? Pikachu's "cha" was clearly supposed to be a yawn, but that did not sound tired at all. That is what yawns would sound like if we did them when we had too much energy.

remember when I said trainers have their pokemon beat the shit out of wild ones on their behalf? Apparently not Ash. I'm convinced that Ash is from our world, but doesn't know much about Pokemon, so he's just heard of it in passing and knows nothing. And when he was in our world he never encountered any non-human life.

"enjoy your last moments of freedom"? Ash isn't even trying to be a caring pokemon master, he is just straight up has no sympathy for them. I'm glad this kid never met an animal in the real world, at least pokemon can fight back a lot better.

What was that laugh at Ash's failure? That was far too human. I hate that. Pikachu is a straight up demon. New theory, ontop of Ash being from our world, there are demons(or some kind of demon equivalent) in the pokemon world. Pikachu is one of them, and pokeballs are like holy water to them. That's why Pikachu doesn't want to be in the pokeball.

I know this is pokemon, and there are tank turtles with no clear sign(to my knowledge) of how they get the water they shoot, and rats with unlimited supplies of electricity, and sentient magnets, but Pidgey is none of those. Pidgey is a normal fucking bird, nothing special about it. Where the fuck did it get that sand from??

the pokedex is fucking amazing. Earlier I thought it was just coincidental that it was a bit late, but no. That thing is alive, and it fucking HATES Ash.

why the hell do wild pokemon get jealous of trained pokemon? Just get in the ball and you'll be a trained pokemon. And trainers openly do not care about the pokemon they catch, Ash already showed that.

the way it cut straight from Ash and Pikachu passing a Magikarp in the river to a gyarados makes it look like that thing just evolved on the spot.

Misty not caring about Ash at all is completely fair. I don't care if she doesn't have any context to know what happenned, there is a hurt animal.

"Pikachu, this can't... happen" he's not wrong, it can't, it's only the first episode of the show and Pikachu's a main character.

"the town of pallet" sounds completely different from "pallet town", and why does Ash think he's a noble defender, he's ten, and he's defending a rat that kocked out twelve people.

Pikachu just created a giant sky beam. That was not a lightning strike, it was like a mile thick. Pikachu is not a demon, it's far too powerful, it is satan himself.

anyway, those were my thoughts on the first episode of the pokemon anime. It was like 11 minutes long, but I took like 30 to write about it. If I get any likes on this I'll keep posting my thoughts as I watch it.

[purgemarchlockdown]

An exploration of Amane Momose and the system of Milgram.

(Note: At the time of writing I have not listened/read all the voice dramas yet so if anything in there contradicts what I'm saying my apologies. Still please do read this because I think these are conclusions you can draw from the music and I'm mainly focusing on that.)

(Edit: Got some typos out, apologies for that!) (CWs: Cults, Child Abuse, Suicide Mention.)

I Adore Momose Amane, I saw the 12 year old cultist and thought “That’s my favorite.” I’ve rewatched Magic more times than I can count, and I’m patiently waiting for The Purge March. Amane Momose is my Favorite Character in this whole series.

One of the things I like the most about Amane is her psychology. Amane is a child who grew up in a cult, and was most likely born into it, she doesn't know anything else, except that anything outside of it is Bad and Evil. In Her T1 Drana she considers Milgram a possible avenue for justice and righteousness. A way for the "higher standards of morality" to come and give divine punishment.

If we're peeling back what she's saying here, she's roughly saying. "I want there to be a god that can prove my righteousness" This goes back into her "good girl" complex and abuse. Amane wants to be a good girl, she wants so so hard to be a good girl. She Wants to be obedient and devoted and the goodest good girl there is. However she isn't. Multiple scenes in Magic hint to this, Amane loses the game show and gets punished for it, she's constantly asking if she's worthy, and constantly promises that she'll be good, she asks if its okay to be "weak." Amane Momose is Not A Good Girl, and to some extent she's aware of this. Adding onto that, she knows that helping the cat isn't what she's supposed to do, you can see it in the MV, she is off on her own, hiding away from everyone else, she looks startled and scared when she gets found out. Amane Momose Knows Very Well That She Is Not Supposed To Do This and Did It Anyway.

Amane Momose is an abused child who wants proof that she is a Good Girl. She wants proof that she shouldn't be Punished. The Unforgiven Verdict for her isn't just her ideals being rejected. It's her being told that she Should be Punished, that she Is Not A Good Girl. Something that is a common theme in her character.

Now I know it seems strange that Amane antagonizes Es in this context but it's common for abuse victims to retreat back into the abuse if they feel threatened, even if nothing bad is happening.

Because abuse and the emotions associated with it became the norm. The expectation of abuse is set up, it's become routine. We can also see this in Magic. While Amane accepts the abuse as something she "needs" to grow, the lines of the song are her wanting to Not be hurt, and trying to avoid it. Even when Amane is "safe" she is expecting punishment, and as such acts in a way that minimizes the risk of punishment.

Not meaning to brag but I’m pretty happy I’ve made up my mind so they don’t make that face at me again

Continuing off of that, cults promote an Us vs Them mentality to isolate their victims, because cults (and abusers as a whole) need their victims to rely on them for support and any outside influence will threaten the control they have over the person.

Amane is hypervigilant and has a rigid Us vs Them mentality. She antagonizes Es because Es exists outside the cult, but also because she feels threatened, she was Already Retreating into her cult mentality since the start. The Unforgiven verdict just pushed her farther into it. She retreats into her cult because it provides an illusion of comfort. She knows how its going to go.

I'm stating all of this to go: Amane is Not going to improve in Milgram, because Milgram is not designed to make these characters improve.

Here's a line from ES in Amane's T1 voice drama:

(Credit: onigiriico fan translation of the Voice Drama)

Amane: Hm. But if you’re the warden, as you say, shouldn’t you take the prisoners’ opinions into consideration? Es: Don’t make me laugh. I’m not your teacher at school; it isn’t my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path. Milgram’s goal isn’t to turn you back into decent human beings and get you back into normal society. What is needed here is firm, honest judgment and decisions

Es states it directly. Milgram is not designed to help these people, not any of that. But Amane is the clearest example. Amane is both someone with a very rigid cult mentality and someone who was abused. She wants to be told she is right, she wants to be told she is a good girl. Because that means she's fully devoted to her god and that there is no reason to punish her.

On the flipside tell her she's wrong and she'll violently retreat back into her cult's ideals for comfort. As stated abuse victims tend to retreat back into the abuse because it's familiar, and Amane retreats back into it because it provides a source of comfort.

The forgiven and unforgiven verdicts and the punishment unforgiven dishes-out enforce this. Even if we forgave her in the first round, the way abuse and cults affect a person's mind means that Amane cannot be helped like this. The way Milgram Is Structured feeds Into Amane's hypervigilance, rigid thinking and want to be a "good girl."

Amane cannot grow in Milgram because it is not designed to make her grow, same with everyone else here. Milgram is not designed to make these people get better, it's designed to determine who should be punished.

Characters like Mahiru, where it's all but confirmed that she didn't actually commit murder but acted in a way that might of lead to her partner's suicide are still judged (and in Mahiru's case, Punished) for those actions. This does not help Mahiru's clear issues in navigating relationships, nor does it "deliver justice."

This system is not made to help anyone.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

[kisskissbanggang]

Contention - pt. 1

[2.1k words/<10min. read - Skz! Love Triangle, Non-Idol!AU - Personal Assistant!Seungmin x Female Reader, SFW/VERY Suggestive/✨Spicy✨, Smut in Other Chapters - Arranged Courting, Hwang Hyunjin has Demons and One is his Mother, Dirty Secrets, All the Taboo Thrill of Infidelity Without Actually Cheating Because You Aren't Even Together, Heavy Forbidden Makeout Sessions in Uncomfortable Settings, Seungmin is the Goodest Boy (For Now), Exorcising my Seungmin and Hyunjin Brain Rot One Fic at a Time, References to Toxic/Abusive Parent/Child Relationships (Not Reader)]

[Masterlist | Come Say Hi!]

Sunday, 3:36 pm

It wasn't as though you blamed Hwang Hyunjin for any of this. 

You’d lost nothing. Rather, if anything, there was almost too much to gain. Nothing was lost, or broken, or hurt. 

Except for maybe your pride. 

Your correspondence, your interviews – they’d all been with Hyunjin's mother. 

In her eyes, you were the most perfect potential partner for her son that she’d ever met. The only problem was that he’d been impossible to convince towards any concept of settling down with someone she approved of, belligerent to any inkling that she could really know what’s best. 

None of this had been disclosed to you, of course. As far as you’d known, Hyunjin adored you; he was simply too busy with work to come meet you in person. His mother was only helping him arrange all this. It was his idea that you move in for a trial run. 

A six month long trial run. 

For the sake of saving face and appeasing the accountants, you’d be Hyunjin’s “personal assistant.” You were to never leave this goddamn penthouse for six months. By the end of it, you would either be engaged or paid handsomely for your time. 

It was an easy – if not incredibly daunting – yes. 

In your mind, Hyunjin was already mad about you. He wrote you letters, he gave you photos, all scented with his cologne and accompanied with flowers. He was too good to be true, gorgeous and tall with sharp eyes and full lips. It never occurred to you that you were being naive. Mrs. Hwang was so earnest, so humble about her role in all of this. The potential financial gain was only an extremely generous consolation prize should it not work out. She just wanted her son to be happy.

You’d laughed along when Hyunjin’s mother introduced you to the doorman in the lobby. 

“Remember her face, now. If you see her within the next six months, you call me.”

She’d laughed. The doorman laughed. So you laughed, too. 

Nothing prepared you for meeting Hyunjin. First, he was incredulous, wondering if this was all a prank. 

Did you know his friends?

Maybe his boss put you up to this?

But the second you mentioned his mother, all the pieces fell into place. The penthouse was a new arrangement for him as well. He instantly recognized the handwriting on your letters as hers. The small, precious still life he’d painted for you had actually been missing from his bedroom for weeks.

This was Mrs. Hwang’s grand scheme to finally get her insubordinate son married. 

You pleaded, bartered, begged for a way out of this. The writing was on the wall: you were fucked. You'd quit your job, you'd moved out of your apartment, signed an NDA – all stipulations laid out in her contract you'd signed. Hyunjin was helpless. She controlled his finances, managed his social circle, and watched him like a hawk. 

No. You didn't blame Hyunjin for any of this. 

But it didn't make it hurt any less that he wasn't interested in giving you a chance. 

And it wasn't like you didn't understand why; that much was clear and obvious. His mother adored you, so he simply wouldn't. 

The two of you awkwardly cohabitated for a whole month leading up to last night. It was easy to have separate spaces within the shared home. You had your own room, and there were, plain and simply, too many ways to spend time by yourselves. The penthouse was insane, a lush little suite with a pool on the patio, a private roof, and a dedicated elevator. You were reading in the living room that night, stretched out on the plush couch when Hyunjin brought a girl home for the first time. 

The couch conveniently blocked Hyunjin from seeing you and your mortified face, but you could see clear as day. 

“Okay, I think my roommate is asleep.”

Roommate.

You were gutted. 

Five more months of this until the payday of your life. 

And if there were going to be any more nights like this, maybe you could even afford a lobotomy. How could you be so stupid? A sickening ball of desperation and humiliation burned in your gut.

That brought you to today, the point where everything shifted. You were feeling sorry for yourself at the breakfast nook, and why wouldn't you? It’d taken you weeks to allow yourself to fall in love with the idea of Hyunjin and work up the courage to take on this ludicrous deal in the first place. And now you were stuck here. 

In your refusal to hear anything since the previous night until this girl was gone, you were stubbornly still wearing your headphones while you miserably picked at a croissant. You didn’t hear Seungmin come in whatsoever, not until he appeared in front of you in the kitchen, startling you with a new box of pastries. 

As you’d quickly learned, Hyunjin had a real personal assistant. Seungmin drove Hyunjin around, ran his errands, and – apparently – even chauffeured his one-night stands home. You’d met Seungmin early on, and he was just as disquieted about this arrangement as the two of you already were. Thankfully, it didn't seem to outwardly affect his hospitality at all. Seungmin was kind, he was attentive, and he was probably the only person who gave a damn about you while you were locked up in here. At that moment, at the breakfast nook, he silently waved and opened the box to offer you a fresh, warm croissant. You nodded appreciatively before he took his box of goodies with him, no doubt sanctimoniously kicking open Hyunjin’s door for a wake-up call.

They had a weird relationship. The two men were clearly boss and employee, but they were also unmistakably friends. Maybe it was because they both answered to Mrs. Hwang. 

Shortly after, Seungmin passed by the kitchen again, ushering out a gorgeously disheveled young woman and an unsurprisingly pristine Hyunjin. Sundays were a social day, which meant Seungmin would be dropping him off at the gym and he wouldn’t be back until much later that day, hopping from brunch to shopping to late lunch and maybe even dinner and drinks. You sighed when you had the penthouse to yourself again. 

This was the part you didn’t think through all the way when you were considering this ridiculous proposal. Hyunjin worked and had a busy social life. It had quickly become apparent that Mrs. Hwang intended for you to be available at all times at home, maximizing the opportunity for you two to get close, but this also meant that you were alone for a majority of the time. Some days you never changed out of loungewear. Some days, even, you never changed out of your pajamas. You would binge watch shows and movies, endlessly scroll online, maybe try to exercise or lounge by the pool, all in a loop that was quickly starting to grow stale.

Maybe that’s what made everything go the way it did when Seungmin came back in through the elevator that afternoon. You poked your head out from the living room and caught sight of him nearly dropping his armful of groceries. Today was a day where you never changed out of your pajamas, your cozy cardigan covering up your thin camisole and modest shorts. Your warm socks made you almost slip on the tile floor. Seungmin was humbly grateful when you jogged over to help, even grabbing a bag out of his hands to ease the load. He followed you back to the kitchen, where you’d briefly crossed paths that morning.

“I should’ve asked if you need anything,” he regretted out loud, setting his bags on the counter and sorting through them.

You blinked back at him as you did the same with your own bag. “You don’t need to do that; you bring me things all the time.”

“Sure,” he shrugged, “but I want to. I want to know what you want.”

“Seungmin, I promise you, this is more than enough.”

It’d only been a month, but Seungmin was occasionally bringing you books and magazines. The bag you’d grabbed from him had your favorite canned coffee in it. Lately, he’d been quizzing you on what drinks you liked, what snacks you indulged in, and he’d readily have whatever it was the next time he saw you. He would always make sure to check in on you whenever he came by. For all intents and purposes, Seungmin was your saving grace during this bizarre, voluntary home arrest.

It was worth repeating: maybe this was why everything that came next happened the way it did.

For such a lavish kitchen in such a spacious home, you and Seungmin managed to trip over each other while putting away the shopping, landing on the floor in a tangled heap, wedged into the counter. Those damned socks. Some cosmic being was playing a prank on you, surely, when you found yourself on top of Hyunjin’s assistant on the floor. The two of you groaned in unison. Your knee was likely pressing uncomfortably into Seungmin’s ribs, so you obviously leaned off, and now, mortifyingly, you found yourself straddling his hips.

And you weren’t the only one to notice.

Seungmin was reclined back on his elbows, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

Maybe it was just the moment.

Maybe it was something more.

He leaned in first, and you automatically did the same.

Your skin erupted into goosebumps.

Both your breathing was shallow, like you were trying to slow down time to think for a goddamn second.

Maybe you were lonely.

Maybe it was something else.

The kiss lasted three seconds.

Three.

He was so warm.

Two.

His kiss was so gentle.

One.

You wanted him so badly.

Your mouths parted, but only barely. It was a stalemate; the next move would decide everything.

And Seungmin decided to slide an arm up around your waist.

You melted into him then, your fingers running through his hair and slipping his glasses onto the tile when you kissed him again. The breaths you’d been holding were gasped and sighed into each other. His chest sought for air against yours, close and tight in the cavernous home. You were quickly dizzy, high off the adrenaline of finding yourself locked in a heated embrace with your intended fiance’s assistant, but you nonetheless found yourself curious. There was one question on your mind. When you tried to lean up from Seungmin, he hungrily reeled you back down, his daring tongue tempting yours to keep pace. You gathered his hands from where they were holding your waist and firmly pressed them back into the tile, over his head. 

Even while catching his breath, his hips were canting up into your own. He was distractingly, temptingly hard between your legs. He grinned, panting. “More,” he pleaded.

“In a second,” you quieted him, hushed in the giant penthouse. You were unable to hold back a coughed laugh while you tried to more steadily inhale. “You just have to tell me: is it me you want? Or the opportunity?”

Seungmin was visibly confused. “Of course it’s you,” he answered, his volume matching yours. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I mean,” you faltered for a second. “I’m apparently not good enough for Hyunjin–”

“Hyunjin’s insane,” Seungmin smirked. “You’re perfect.”

The simple move of you letting him go fell into sync with him pulling his hands free, but you weren’t expecting Seungmin to roll the two of you over, his lips and tongue joining his hips in pinning you to the tile floor of the kitchen. His groans and sighs were delicious to hear, the way he wanted you making the exhaustion of the last month feel forgotten. This was incredible, easily enough to make you want to ask Seungmin to come to your bedroom with you, if not fuck you right here in the kitchen–

–when the penthouse elevator chimed.

You untangled from each other immediately, scrambling to regain your senses and look like you had not just been fooling around when Hyunjin casually strolled in. He passed by the kitchen to find Seungmin finishing putting away the groceries while you pretended to scroll on your phone at breakfast nook. Hyunjin looked between the two of you, obviously sensing something odd but unsure of exactly what. He opened the fridge.

“You’re back early,” Seungmin observed. His ears were red.

“My plans got changed,” Hyunjin shrugged, pulling out a can. “Whose coffee is this?”

You meagerly raised a hand. Hyunjin nodded.

“Ah.”

That was it. He put the drink right back in the fridge, grabbing something else and warily eyeing you both again before exiting the kitchen.

You and Seungmin locked eyes then.

Holy shit, you realized, what if Hyunjin found out?

Or worse, you furthered that thought, what if Mrs. Hwang found out?

Seungmin had a small, humble grin, maybe even a bit dazed when he finally left you by yourself in the kitchen.

This was either going to make the next five months much more enjoyable or far more difficult.