#NEVER speak to me about logic games again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-girl69 · 9 months

Text

Music To Watch Girls To

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

sypnosis: is it wrong to be obsessed with clarisse? obviously not!!

a/n: i cant just write a drabble what is wrong w me it’s always gotta be a full fledged fic damn anyways i don’t like this one that much so don’t crucify me, but i hope you all enjoy!!

Music To Watch Boys To - Lana Del Rey

warnings: FRIENDS TO LOVERS GOOD LORD, all clarisse know is be mean to her friends, like girls, and lie, reader is a little insane this time…., it’s not watching clarisse train bc i got struck with inspo but you all will like it dw, there’s still muscles and watching clarisse fight, swearing, violence, mentions of weapons, reader is an honorary ares cabin member bc i think it’s cute and i do what i want, y/n gets hurt like 20 times ITS FOR THE PLOT OK, kissing!!!!, like angst for half a sec not rly tho, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

The only word you think of when you think of Clarisse is fuck.

It describes your feelings about her so accurately. The first time you saw her, you knew you had to have this girl. And the first time you heard her talk, she was calling some Hephaestus kid a dumbass for not fixing a dent in her armor correctly.

She was an asshole, a bully, whatever, and she was also the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. But, thank the Gods you became close friends with her brother Matty, and then Carrie, and then you practically knew everyone in the Ares cabin like your own siblings.

Even just friendship with Ares kids is an intense rollercoaster.

They admired your for your deadly skill with a bow, a few of them even openly claiming you were probably the best at camp. They were loyal and fierce, protective, funny and everything you could want in a replacement family. Your mortal parent went down a dark road after your godly parent went back to Olympus, and you had never felt that love that everyone craved.

Clarisse hated you at first, like she does everyone, until one day at the bonfire you were sitting with her and a few of her siblings, the fire was hot and it was never the same. You still remember her eyes on you, feeling intoxicated under the moon. Besides, the nights are made for secrets.

And it became a tradition.

You would look at each other next to the fire, and never speak of it again.

The rest of the time, she was like any friend. That same loyalty, focus, but sometimes you could swear she seemed to look a little longer.

After the arrival of Percy Jackson, Clarisse was especially on edge. She was supposed to be training, but she was instead sulking and ranting to Matty and Carrie.

“And he really thinks he killed that Minotaur? Doesn’t matter. That’s what everyone else thinks.”

“Talking about the new kid?” you ask, sitting on top of the picnic table next to their cabin.

“Oh, yeah,” Carrie mumbles. “Talking all about the new kid.”

Clarisse stops her angry pacing to send her a harsh glare.

“He’s just a baby, Clarisse.”

She slams her hand down on the table next to you, pointing her finger in your face.

“He’s a liar,” she hisses. “I’m gonna make him admit it.”

“Hm, okay,” you say, pressing her foot against her stomach and pushing her back. “And that’s totally logical. But have you considered that he actually killed the Minotaur?”

“I’ll punch you.”

“Oh, you love me, Clarisse,” you smile, sweeping your arms out in a big circle. “I’m the brightest part of your day.”

She glares at you.

Matty coughs to hide a laugh.

“Just ignore him!” you say. “I don’t get why you’re so obsessed over him anyways.”

“I’m not explaining myself to you,” she huffs, stubborn as ever.

“Okay, Clarisse,” you say, drawing out the words.

You miss Carrie and Matty shooting each other looks.

—-

Chiron announces the next capture the flag game later that day, and the next morning you’re heading off to the Ares cabin with your bow and armor in tow.

You walk in. They’re all adjusting their armor, polishing their weapons. A few smile at you and wave, but you head straight towards the back. Clarisse is there, helping some of her younger siblings pick out weapons from the secret weapons stash the Ares kids have curated over the years.

It’s Danny’s first game. He’s only twelve.

She looks up at you for a moment, which is about as much acknowledgment as you’re gonna get. You sit at the end of someone’s empty bed, right next to Danny.

“How you feelin’?” you ask. His face is twisted into a stone cold mask.

“Excited,” he says, like he practiced it in the mirror.

“Well, I’m scared.”

He looks at you and frowns.

“You’re the best archer in camp. Matty says so.”

You shrug. “I may be the best archer, but I’m nowhere near the best fighter.”

He nods, thinking hard like the whole world is suddenly starting to make sense.

“Hey, if I promise to keep a look out for you from the trees- will you watch out for me on the ground?”

He doesn’t need your assurance. He’s a child of Ares, they’re prebuilt with the lust for battle. But you know how to play all of them like a fiddle. They like feeling important, and he’s only twelve. It doesn’t hurt you to give this to him.

You stick out your hand and he grabs it.

“Deal.”

“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You realize she’s been standing there for a while. “Are you here to distract everyone or for a reason?”

“You know, I would welcome you into my cabin warmly.”

Her face remains stone cold. Danny runs off. Clarisse can be some sort of halfway nice, but rarely, and most of the time everyone just knows her cruel words, her ruthless tactics in battle, and her misleading words and smiles.

“You’re no fun,” you pout.

“You’re the one who sticks around. No one’s holding you hostage- you can leave.”

“I need a dagger.”

“Oh,” she says, blinking. “Wow, you actually came here for something? What happened to yours?”

“Broke,” you shrug. “The handle fell off. Weird, whatever.”

She hums, looking through the daggers hung on the wall. “This one.”

She hands it to you. It’s similar to your old dagger, except a lot sharper and a lot more sturdy. But it’s the same style you’re used to. You wonder if she knows that or not- Ares kids do notice everything.

But for Clarisse to actually do something like that with intention is rare.

“I like it,” you say. “Thanks!”

She hesitates for a second.

“Keep it.”

You look at her. “I can give it back.”

“I already told you to keep it. Don’t be pathetic and make me reassure you.”

“Okay, Clarisse,” you roll your eyes.

—-

Your position on capture the flag is always the same.

Carrie, Matty and Clarisse hunt in the woods on the ground, and you get thrown up into some random tree to shoot arrows at anyone you see.

The idea is, they see the arrow coming from up above and look to the trees, only for Clarisse, Matty and Carrie to ambush them on the ground.

It’s only the third game you’ve employed this tactic, so the blue team is starting to catch on.

After Chiron gives his speech you could probably say yourself, you head over to the three of them, holding your arm out to Matty and the red bandana. He ties it around without saying a word, Carrie reaches over and scolds you for not tying your armor tight enough.

“Blah, blah, blah,” you say. “I’ll live.”

“Yeah,” Carrie snorts. “Because I fixed it.”

“Shush,” Clarisse hisses. She finishes talking to a few more of her siblings, and they take their companies off into the woods. She turns back around. “I have a different plan today.”

Carrie and Matty grin dangerously.

There’s something in between the three of them, some sort of matching glint in their eyes.

“Okay, did I miss something? Why are you guys being so… scary?”

“You’ll see,” Clarisse says, her eyes dark.

Gods, it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

—-

The great thing about being up in the trees is you get to see everything.

You get to see the way Clarisse grins while she fights, the way she whips her spear around like it weights nothing, the way sweat forms at her brow- and the way her muscles flex. That’s the best part.

Her arms, her legs, her stomach, every part of Clarisse is just lean and toned muscle.

It makes you want to betray yourself in a way that would permanently embarrass you.

You follow them, of course, even though you have no idea what the hell is happening or what the plan is. There’s a reason she’s not telling you the plan. Why?

When you walk past the woods where you normally hunt, you start getting fidgety.

“Ok, guys, seriously. Tell me what’s going on.”

You realize you’re heading towards the side of the big hill, starting the climb up through the trees and rocks.

Clarisse turns around.

“Stop. Worrying.”

You grit your teeth. “I’m not worried. I’m just confused.”

She sighs, signaling to Carrie and Matty.

“You know,” she mutters. And they leave, so it’s just the two of you.

They spit up, making their way on the farthest two ends, all leading to the same ledge.

She grabs your wrists. “Stop cracking your fingers. It’s annoying, and you’ll hurt ‘em.”

“Then tell me what’s going on.”

She lets go of one of your wrists, but keeps her tight grip on the other, forcing you to keep pace behind her.

“I’m not gonna tell you again, Y/N. Don’t worry. I’m not going to put you in danger, obviously.” She laughs, as if the idea is ridiculous. “You’re a damn good archer.”

“Oh, my Gods. Did you just compliment me?”

She tenses up, finally realizing she did it.

“D-don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, I won’t. It will just be our little secret, won’t it?”

You bite your lip as you smile so you don’t burst out laughing.

“Sure,” she mutters, and you don’t miss the way she stares at your lips. She clears her throat, finally letting go of your wrist. “Percy Jackson-”

“Who’s a baby.”

“-attacked us last night.”

You raise an eyebrow, walking next to her. “Did you attack him first?”

She doesn’t answer that.

“I doubted you would join us. I just didn’t want you to be alone in the woods.”

“Why?”

“Hm, I saw Annabeth as we left the bathrooms. She knows, she knows we’re gonna get revenge so Luke’s gonna go straight for the flag because we’re not in the woods.”

“So you’re just sacrificing the entire game for revenge? Against a 12-year-old?”

“Revenge,” she mutters, thinking over it. “That’s a fun word.”

She smiles, looking at you.

“Oh, Gods,” you mutter.

—-

The rest of the walk continues in silence, until you can see Carrie and Matty in the distance, both waiting for Clarisse’s signal. She grins.

“Now, why don’t you just stay behind me and draw an arrow, and tell me if anyone’s coming. And when he’s distracted, you’ll sneak around behind him and block him from escaping, hm?”

You look around the forest. “Okay. But, Clarisse-”

She smacks her hand over your face. “I don’t need your morality right now. I just need you to keep those pretty eyes open and be our lookout.”

“Fine,” you hiss as you throw your hand off her mouth.

“Thank you,” she smiles, sarcastically. “Was that so hard?”

You mock her under your breath, but she signals to Carrie and Matty. They all start walking forward, trying for stealth, but your feet make sink into the gravel. He hears them. He sits up.

You don’t know anything about Percy Jackson, except for the fact he supposedly attacked the three musketeers you call your friends and possibly killed a Minotaur.

True to your word, you stay behind Clarisse, watching as she lifts her helmet off, throwing it to the ground.

Her spear sinks into the dirt.

“Flag’s that way,” Percy says. “It’s not here.”

“We know.”

You start walking out from behind her. His eyes flick between all four of you.

“Yeah, glory’s fine.” You can feel her eyes on you. “Revenge is more fun.”

She looks up at her spear, slamming it down, and you hear the familiar crackle as it lights up. Red hot electricity.

She laughs a bit.

He scrambles for his sword and spear, forgoing his helmet. They close him in. You walk around Carrie and behind him. His eyes move between you and Clarisse, but there’s nothing he can do to stop the four of you from surrounding him.

“No maiming. It’s like the one rule.”

His stance isn’t even close to correct.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll lose dessert privileges for a while,” she fake frets, looking up at her spear. She smiles and looks back at him. “I’ll live.”

Her face twists into a mask of focus and she swings out at him. He manages to dodge her first hit, and block the second with his shield.

She looks at Carrie and Matty. They lunge forward, attacking him together, and he certainly is a demigod- he has a natural talent.

But you can only really focus on the way she lifts her spear back over her head.

She grunts and spins, shocking him, before jabbing forward at his armor, making him fall back over the log he used to be laying on, right at your feet.

“I’m actually not interested in maiming or killing you, believe it or not,” she says, standing over him. “I just want you to admit you’re a fraud. It’d make me feel better. Are you feeling up to that yet?”

The way she holds her spear, the way she says it’ll make her feel better- you miss the way he swings out with his shield, hitting you in the shins.

“Fuck,” you hiss, leaning down to touch your burning leg. “Oh, fuck, that hurt.”

Percy grunts and takes off running.

“Y/N,” Matty says, a silent question in his concerned voice.

“I’m fine,” you mumble, shaking your leg out.

Clarisse glares at his retreating figure.

“I guess he has a fucking death wish,” she whispers, voice full of a deadly promise.

She grunts and launches herself over the log, Carrie and Matty following. You straighten yourself and take off running after them. You leg does burn, but you still manage to keep pace. Besides, Matty is already far ahead, surprising him and knocking him down from the path, making him tumble through the woods and land on the beach.

Matty and Carrie wave their swords at him from the right. He pants and breathes heavily, backing up, but when he turns around to run- Clarisse is there.

You draw your bow again, out of habit.

The arrows you use aren’t actual arrows of course, but filed down to little circle rocks at the end. They won’t kill you, but they fucking hurt.

You can’t help but giggle as he falls onto his back, scared just by Clarisse being there.

She laughs too, before all three of them launch into an attack.

They push him back, towards you, and you step back with them, waiting for the perfect moment.

But your eyes drift up to Clarisse. She’s hanging back for just a second while Matty and Carrie jab at him. She looks… proud. She looks really fucking proud that you’re laughing at this 12-year-olds misery.

But Clarisse was right. Revenge is fun. And you hate it, but you can’t stop it.

You smile back at her, and it’s like those nights at the bonfire, you know you’ll never speak of it again. It doesn’t matter. Right now, there’s angelic music playing in your head, and you’re watching her. You’re watching her, the sweat on her brow, the way her hands clasp her spear.

Her face twists into something else.

“Y/N!” she shouts, but Carrie and Matty pushed him too far, you didn’t move back enough- distracted by her- and you slam into each other, a tangle of limbs and metal.

He does this awkward sort of flip over you, landing a few feet behind you. You drop your bow in favor of catching yourself, and it gets caught on his shield and dragged along with him.

It’s a blur, you yelp as you go down, Percy groans.

They’re all standing there, tense and watching the way Percy stands up with your bow in his hands. His stance is nowhere near correct, it actually makes you cringe more than your bruised side after the fall.

Why the hell are you the one who keeps getting hurt?

Percy let’s out a breath. “Why don’t we all just walk away and forget this happened?”

“You just made that impossible,” Clarisse hisses.

You just want to get an ice pack on your leg and sit down. You’re tired. You want to boss Clarisse around as payment for bringing you here.

“Okay, okay, just stop. This is stupid, all of you. He’s, like, 12. He didn’t do it on purpose, you’re just attacking him for no reason.” Carrie and Matty look at the ground. Clarisse glares at you.

You turn around and face Percy. “Just go, okay.”

He looks between you and Clarisse.

“O-okay,” he breathes.

You can feel her move, hear her footsteps in the sand, her spear cutting through the wind. She comes around you, and Percy gets scared, so he raises up the bow and let’s it go- pointed straight at her face.

But it never hits her. It hits you, of course, because you have the worst luck in the world.

It hits you right in the chest, and it doesn’t kill you, but Percy is strong and it knocks the wind out of you.

Clarisse throws her spear to the ground and catches you, screaming your name at the top of her lungs.

Gods, this was so stupid. All of it. He didn’t mean to hurt you, he meant to stop her from attacking him. Because Clarisse is bloodthirsty. She cares about no one else but herself.

You were stupid to think she ever did.

But even through all of this, everyone treating you like a rag doll, you stare into Clarisse’s eyes. She’s frozen. She’s watching the rapid rise and fall of your chest, she’s watching the way you press your hand into your chest, trying to breathe, she’s looking at the fear in your eyes.

You’re terrified. And Clarisse looks the exact same way you feel.

You mouth her name.

Carrie and Matty are gathered around you, telling you to just breathe, take a breath in, but you can’t.

Clarisse let’s go of you and ignores your hands trying to hold her back, ignores Carrie warning her.

Oh, Gods, you’re in love with her and she’s just your friend, but it all hurts and you just need her right now.

Percy tries to scramble away from what he’s done, but Clarisse grabs him by his shirt and holds him up.

You think she’s actually going to kill him- then the conch sounds.

You all turn around.

The blue team runs to the beach, sticking the red flag into the ground. They all cheer loudly, Luke and Chris at the center of it.

Clarisse throws Percy back down on the ground.

She picks up your bow. Matty helps you stand up, you can breathe now, and you’re really fine. You just couldn’t for a minute. You don’t look at Clarisse, even though you want to.

—-

The four of you end up at the sword practice field, sitting on picnic tables like you did that one day.

Matty touches a few scratches on his arms from where he burst through the woods, scraping himself on something thorny.

Clarisse walks towards a dummy and starts attacking it. She lets all her anger out on it. They didn’t win, and her revenge is incomplete so, its not even worth it. You could have told her that from the beginning, but whatever.

Clarisse can do whatever she wants. She doesn’t listen to you, she doesn’t care about you- not as much as you want her too. Not as much as you care about her.

She’s so wonderfully in her element it makes you want her more. This is where she belongs, in the field in the sun, with her spear in her hands. She belongs here, where she feels closest to her father and farthest away from her responsibilities, from the constant battle it is for her to keep her emotions in check.

Even after a minute of her obliterating the dummy, she seems better. Finally, after another minute, she slows down until she stops.

You don’t stop looking at her until she turns around and looks at you. She breathes out.

“Are you okay?” she asks, sitting down on the opposite end of the bench.

“Fine. Just got the wind knocked out of me.”

She hums.

“C’mon, Matty,” Carrie says. “Let’s go back to the cabin, I’m thirsty.”

You’re not ready to get up yet, you’re too comfortable here on the bench, it’s too easy to breathe in the valley.

Clarisse flexes, stretching her spear over her head, and you watch her. Of course you watch her. You don’t think you’ll ever just be able to look at her in passing- you’ll always have to focused, you’ve always have to have your eyes totally and completely on her.

Like she’s some book you have to study. Like she’s all you’ve ever wanted to look at.

“Stop staring at me, weirdo,” she mumbles.

You sit up straighter. “I’m not. You’re just flexing dramatically all over the place, of course I’m gonna take notice of it.”

“Okay, sure,” she taunts, and you remember what happened, you remember how you felt when she walked away from you to continue with her revenge.

“I-I’m gonna go back to my cabin.” You don’t wanna be around her, not right now at least. “See you later, Clarisse.”

She stands up immediately. “I’ll walk you.”

“No, thanks, it’s fine.”

“Y/N, you got hurt because of me.” She crouches down and tugs up your pant leg. “How’s your leg? Your side?”

Matty, Carrie and Clarisse too, sometimes, are always touching you and doing things for you. It’s sweet. They aren’t good with the words, but they show you they love you, and that means more than anything else.

If she hadn’t done what she did, if she really cared about you, then you wouldn’t mind her touching you like this. You would love it.

“Clarisse- get off of me,” you shake your leg out, which hurts a bit, but she lets go and stands up.

Her face twists into one of anger, her fists clenched.

“I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry you got hurt. I feel really bad about it, so just let me do this for you.”

“It’s not about that,” you mumble, cursing yourself and hoping she doesn’t hear you. Of course she does.

“Then what’s it about?”

You try to turn away, but she clamps her around your wrist and tugs you back towards her.

“What’s it about, Y/N?”

She holds your hand to her chest.

You both know what it’s about.

“Just stop, Clarisse,” but your body betrays you and you make no move to push her away. She notices, of course she notices, and she pulls you closer. “We’ve been dancing around each other for months.”

She blinks and her grip on your wrist loosens.

“And it was fun. It was a fun game, okay, Clarisse. But you can stop playing it now. You showed me today that your care more about yourself then you ever could me. I’m sick of it.” You tug your hand away. “I’m so sick of it, Clarisse.”

She grips you tighter again.

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m running around looking like a fool, and you think I care about myself? You think I don’t care about you?”

Your breath is a little shaky again.

“You could have helped me and you chose revenge.”

“For you.”

“What?”

“He slammed his shield into your leg, knocked you over, and then shot you in the chest. Of course I wanted revenge. Not for me, it was about that at first, but then, Gods, did you do something to him?”

You laugh. She smiles, staring at your face like she’s seeing you for the first time.

“Like, he just kept coming after you, I don’t get it. But I… I like you. Like, like you. And I don’t know what that means, but I don’t really care. I just… want you. I want to be near you all the time. And I go crazy when you’re with someone else. I want to touch you all the time, hug you, hold you… I want to kiss you so bad I think I’m gonna fucking explode.”

Fuck is always the first word you think of when you think of her. It used to be because she made you so angry with the secrets, but now it’s just the things the says make you wonder how much more you can fall in love with her.

“Well, I don’t really want you to explode,” you roll your eyes. “That’d be too messy. Besides, I-”

“You’re always such a fucking worrier.”

She plants her hands on your face and presses her lips to yours. You can feel the slight desperateness she won’t say, but she’ll tell you with her body. You can feel everything she won’t show, won’t say. How beautiful you are. How scared she was. How much she wanted you and for how long.

You feel it all just by her lips, and you can’t help but wonder what more she can tell you.

She pulls back and smiles.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll deny it.”

“I’m the light of your life, Clarisse.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, grabbing you tighter and kissing you again. You grab onto her arms, smiling. You always wondered what he muscles would feel like against you.

There’s only one word to describe the way it feels.

Fuck.

—-

clarisse when she accidentally told y/n she has pretty eyes: PLEASE DONT NOTICE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

y/n my ladybug not noticing: 🧍‍♀️

—-

y/n and clarisse just being insane together WDYM YOURE LAUGHING WHEN A KID FALLS OVER STOP

—-

clarisse: bitch stop WORRYING

y/n: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME SHUT UP

—-

clarisse and y/n both pretending that clarisse giving her a dagger wasnt literally a declaration of love and also clarisse throwing her spear down to catch y/n???? bitch she’s in LOVE

—-

taglist:

@jazhandzzz

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

972 notes · View notes

tinydefector · 3 months

Note

TFP Shockwave with a pet human who he's come to be rather affectionate with absent mindedly and has become more interactive with them outside of experiments even. One day human goes missing / isn't in usual spot and Shockwave is trying to figure out wtf is going on but then a con makes a cruel joke (anyone of choosing I thought arachnid or starscream) that they fell out of their cage and got caught underfoot whoopsies . how does Shockwave react before the human comes out from their hiding spot where they were resting??? O_O

Out of Reach

Shockwave x human

Warning: none

Word count: 1k

Shockwave masterlist

_________________________

Shockwave grew increasingly troubled as his thorough search of the lab turned up no sign of his human companion. They were always precisely where he expected upon his arrival, yet this cycle they were nowhere to be found. A nagging unease arose within the Decepticon scientist, though he remained outwardly calm as he searched.

Shockwave diligently swept across the laboratory once more, searching for any trace or clue that could indicate the human's whereabouts or condition. This simply made no logical sense. They had never hidden from him, something must have happened. Had something interfered with the lab's systems without triggering alerts? No breaches were indicated. Shockwave did not appreciate unexplained variables in his work.The sooner this small mystery was solved, the better.

Arachnid watches with a smirk on her lips as Shockwave walks through the halls checking different areas and in hopes that his little companion was just hiding. "Missing something Shockwave?" She inquires with a raised optic brow, not looking rather interested.

Shockwave paused in his meticulous vent searches to regard the inquisitive Arachnid. She took far too much pleasure in others' losses, however minor.

"My human subject is absent from their Enclosure without explanation," he stated flatly. No sense indulging her obvious gloating. "Their whereabouts remain unknown." Her smirk only widened. "And you thought you had everything so neatly ordered. Surprises happen, even to our beloved scientist." Her tone held thinly veiled mockery. "Perhaps a fleshling has more spirit than you gave it credit for."

Shockwave disregarded her taunting for now. "If you possess any data that could aid my investigation, speak. Else your presence here serves no purpose." His patience for games was nonexistent. She lets out a huff as she turns away. "Last I saw them Starscream was rambling about discarding the little pest, I would much rather have added them to my collection, but no use once they are squished" she replies amusement flicking in her optics. It makes Shockwave's spark go cold at the thought.

Starscream, interfering in his work yet again... but to harm the human? It made no sense. "Elaborate. What precisely did Starscream say?" Starscream's actions often lacked reason, but there had to be a thread of logic here. The thought of harm coming to his research subject was. displeasing.

His optic narrowed on Arachnid, another smile graced her lips. "If my memory serves correctly, starscream stepped on them when he was in your laboratory last, and decided it was easier to discard them before they made a mess with all their bloo " she teases. She was going to see just how far Shockwave was willing to go for the little flesh bag.

Something akin to anger flashed through Shockwave's circuits at Arachnid's vague 'memory' and obvious game. Starscream would pay dearly for damaging laboratory property and disrupting critical research. His optic burned into hers. "Show me. Now."

Starscream looks up from his data pad when the sound of Shockwave's shadow forms over him. Arachnid gives him a little wave before stalking off, leaving Shockwave with him. "What can I do for you, Shockwave, as you can see I am rather busy" he states, wings flickering in annoyance at being interrupted.

"You will explain the human's current status and your role in their disappearance, Starscream," he stated calmly. Too calmly, given the swirling calculations within his processor. "Arachnid insinuated you were involved with deactivating them."

Starscream shifted uneasily under that baleful optical lens. “How dare you accuse me!” he snarls as his optics glare at the scientist. Shockwave cut him off. "The human. Where is it? I will have answers, one way or another. Do not test me further, Starscream."

"You babbling Moron I haven't been anywhere near your Lab nor near that disgusting little creature you adore!I'm Sure Arachnid would just love to add them to her collection of prizes and is using this time to hunt them" Starscream snarls out wings flickering even more as Shockwave threatens him.

The moment those words leave Starscream, Shockwave turned on a heel strut and departed, optic aglow with sheer anger. When Shockwave stalks back into his laboratory Arachnid isn't paying attention as she looks through the vents eager to try and find the human before Shockwave's return.A faint whirring was Shockwave's only warning before his blaster cannon trained directly on Arachnid's backstrut. "Cease your prowling immediately, My companion is off limits as is instructed by Lord Megatron" he commanded, weapon charged and ready.

She froze at the sound of his calm yet irrefutable voice. “Such a shame, yet you still have found your precious little pet, perhaps they have finally abandoned you” she sneers back at him. His optic narrowed to a slit. He took a measured step forward. "The human. Where have you hidden or disposed of them, Arachnid?" A hiss escaped her in mingled frustration and wary respect. Lying to Shockwave was never wise. Slowly, delicately, she extracted herself away from the vent. "I have no idea."

Movement catches Shockwave optics from over on his bench, it makes both Decepticons helms snap to the moment. "What time is it?" the little human asked while rubbing their eyes as they pulled the large cloth around their body. walking out of the unoccupied crate that originally held Shockwave's energon cube rations. Arachnid snarls as she pushes Shockwave off before stalking out of the lab. "What was that about?" They mumble tiredly.

Shockwave's cannon whirred down as he took in the dishevelled yet apparently unharmed human, "It is roughly mid-cycle," he replied calmly, his servo moving across their frame taking in their appearance making sure they are not injured. all traces of anger leave his processes.

"You appear undamaged. How did you get to be within the energon container? Arachnid led me to believe you'd been.harmed." he questioned, Relief pulsed through his lines, though he showed no outward emotion.

"I fell asleep in there last night while you were working, sorry I didn't mean to cause any issues" they state as he lifts them up. Shockwave processed this new information and he cursed himself for not checking the crate. "You have nothing for which to apologise for " he replied calmly, holding the human against his chassis. “I ask that you alert me as to your wear about before recharge for your own safety” he states before setting down with them in his servos.

______________

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#transformers #transformers idw #transformers x human #transformers x reader #transformers prime #idw shockwave #tfp shockwave #transformers shockwave #shockwave transformers #shockwave #shockwave x human #shockwave x reader

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ufopigeon · 1 month

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to the random ass proshippers

I’ll block proshippers and I won’t throw any first punches if I find the accounts. Just block n’ move on. Think what you want, but think it away from me. This is for the ppl who are going after others both anonymously and in the open, and being insistent about misunderstanding his character. It is absolutely absurd that some are really trying to PUSH the mere implication that the Postal Dude could be a pedo/have pedophilic tendencies, or that “it makes sense for him”. Some of you are ragebait I’m sure, but I also sadly think some of you are really genuine. And this is also the last I am going to speak about it. Just wanted to do something longer on behalf of everyone else who does not agree with this random influx.

The Postal Dude is obviously designed to be an ambiguous character, allowing players to project various characteristics onto him. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that any and all negative traits can be justified. Ambiguity in character design is meant to give freedom in interpretation, but it doesn't equate to carte blanche for projecting extreme or inappropriate characteristics that aren't supported by the game’s narrative or the developer's intent. Assuming that a character would commit any and all bad acts simply because they commit some is a lazy and inaccurate approach to understanding character design.

The argument that, "Durrr he’s literally a mass shooter, why is it so far-fetched for him to be a pedo too?" is a slippery slope fallacy. It’s that same exact shit all the edgelords try to use when they say (just so they can justify attacking any queer fans, same way SOME proshippers want to feel justified in attacking those who disagree), “The Postal Dude SPECIFICALLY hates gay people and trans people and wouldn’t support them at all/be grossed out by them! Why? Uhh, because he’s literally an evil, vile character! Duh!” Sure he is. No denying that. And sure, you can think that about him. But it’s just fundamentally inaccurate. Just because the games allow for extreme behaviors doesn’t mean they endorse or include every possible immoral action.

And just because a character engages in morally questionable actions doesn’t logically lead to them engaging in the worst possible behaviors. The creator's stance is crucial in defining the boundaries of the character. If the creators have explicitly stated that Postal Dude would never engage in pedophilia (just like how they explicitly stated he wasnt transphobic) and that such content would never be included in the game, this is a definitive limitation on what the character can be reasonably interpreted as. Again, I don’t care if you hold a private opinion that differs. But when you start accusing those who disagree with this extreme interpretation of being the weird or wrong ones, that’s where it becomes an issue.

Dude's actions, while extreme, are presented within a certain context that aims to criticize or mock certain aspects of society. Pedophilia is not something that fits within this satirical style. Yes, even for Postal 1997. I don't care if it is generally considered more "serious" than other games, they still had Dude throwing out stupid-ass catchphrases in a silly radio-host-sounding voice that was obviously supposed to be a stark contrast to what was happening on screen (“Buttsauce”. “Smells like chicken” when burning NPCs. Really now? Go ahead and listen to more from the original. They’re all silly one-liners.). It was a shock at the time and a bit of dark humor. Following games only increased this aspect.

All in all, Postal Dude’s actions, while immoral, are usually presented in a way that allows for some level of detachment or absurdity, keeping them within the realm of dark comedy. Yes, 1997 is still included here. It’s an absurd game. One man took out hundreds of people and was armed to the teeth, even with literal rocket launchers. His main weapon has infinite ammunition. It was an obviously over-the-top video game with a loose connection to reality and an even looser message about “something something mental health and everyone has it in them to go postal”. It was a game made to shock people. Pedophilia, however, is universally considered an irredeemable act, something that cannot be framed in any context that would make it acceptable or even darkly humorous. The distinction between immoral and irredeemable acts is crucial here. The Postal Dude can be morally ambiguous, but crossing into irredeemable territory would fundamentally alter the character in a way that the game and its creators/99.9% of the fans do not support.

Also: “But muh 1997 promo art where it says his girlfriend was 17!! She says they just started dating 3 weeks ago!!” Yeah. The same photo was used with the girl also saying, “It was so weird. He told everyone I was his girlfriend, but I only met him once.” It says “live” near the bottom corner, implying this was an interview with the girl AFTER the crimes had taken place. In the promotional pic where it states she’s 17, it also says she DIED of third degree burns while he was on his rampage. Now that doesn’t really add up, does it. How can this girl give an interview after everything is said and done while also dying in the middle of his killing spree?

AKA, these promotional photos were reused over and over because they were on a budget and really not thinking about it, and are absolutely not valid for legit storytelling purposes at all. RWS has even said this themselves.

#postal dude #postal 1 #postal 1997 #postal 3 #postal 4 #go back 2 telegram lol #postal 2

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alpaca-clouds · 8 months

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How redeeming Gortash would improve Karlach's story

I will admit, that the title is a bit overstated, because by the time you actually get to interact with Gortash, the plot just does not have enough time left to redeem him. Because other than what some folks in Hollywood think: No, giving a character one last minute "heel-face-turn" with one big symbolic act does not in fact redeem a character. Redemption is a process that takes time.

BG3 actually understands this, because Astarion's arc basically ends with: "You took the first steps towards redemption." Which is really good.

However: You could end the game at least in a way to set Gortash up for a possible redemption arc - and more importantly just... not have him die. Because actually that would improve Karlach's character arc.

I will get one thing out of the way first: The entire "Gortash redemption" idea is always contentious on the fact that he is a really bad guy. Like, he is bad. He brutally killed and tortured, he enslaved people, all of that.

I am an anarchist though. Hence, I do not really believe that punishment is in any way just. And to put it differently: Killing Gortash does not undo any of the harm he has caused. Not a single dead person will live through it, not a single tortured person will become untortured through it, and no slave is freed through it either (you kinda gotta say that as the player in a different mission).

And yes, I will say at this point that in general I was iffed by the fact that in many fights of the game I was not given a choice really. It was "either join the bad guys or kill them", and my "all charisma bard", who does not believe in killing for revenge, was like: "But... But..."

Like, my Tav was on board with killing Cazador (because literally in the situation it is "kill Cazador or have 7000 people die") and killing Ketheric (because he needed to die to end the curse), but he is already iffy on Orin (as she never had a choice but to be a killer) and definitely is not on board with killing Gortash (because there is no good reason to do it).

But let me talk about Karlach. Because the thing is... I have seen a lot of commentary on how Wyll is underwritten. And he is. But not as underwritten as Karlach. Like, her entire companion quest basically goes: "Kill some fake paladins, find Dammon, find two pieces of Infernal Iron, kill Gortash (which you have to do for plot reasons either way)". She doesn't really have a dungeon connected to her quest. Nor really an exclusive boss fight, because again: Gortash you kinda gotta fight for the story either way. Nothing really.

Every other character, too, also has to make one hard decision. Where they want one thing - but what is actually the good thing is something else. I wrote about this before, the "become what you hate" decision, basically.

Karlach doesn't. Sure, you could argue that the "die or go back to Avernus" decision is her big decision. But it feels very different than the decisions of the others.

Which brings me to Gortash and saving him.

Here is the thing: Logically speaking Gortash should probably be able to fix Karlach's engine. He understands infernal engines, as he built the Steel Watch around them. You can easily argue that yeah, he should be able to fix Karlach. And that... would actually make for a great decision for Karlach's story.

If I would get to fix Karlach's companion quest, I would probably do it like this: Put in some sort of dungeon where Dammon sends you in the hope that you can find some plans there, that might give him an understanding on how to fix the engine. Heck, if you do not wanna do a whole new dungeon, you could also just put some plans or whatever into the Steel Foundry.

The point is that it will then turn out that, yeah, even with those plans for some reason Gortash is the only one who could fix it. Putting Karlach into the spot to make this decision: Does she value her life more than her revenge on Gortash?

Because here is the thing: Gortash is supposed to be 1) the intelligent one of the dead three chosen, and 2) also clearly is the one who acts first and foremost in some sense for his own self-preservation. Which made me go like: "Nah, this does not make sense," when he decides to fight against me after his Steel Watch was disabled and I already killed the other two chosen.

So, yeah... You should get at least a chance to persuade him to just give up - or, going back to what I was talking about before - to save Karlach.

And again, I actually think that even for the Gortash part of the story it would make for more interesting storytelling. Killing him is not really that interesting.

Especially as, once again, killing him does not undo any of the harm he has caused. But given that he is this big egghead he could actually do something good if he got to live. And yeah, also there is the fact that... You know... Given what we know about his backstory, his actions are about as understandable as those of some of the companions.

Some of you might already know, I have written some fics dealing with the way how I would imagine something like this to go. Mainly Hurt begets Hurt (which is basically my Tav convincing Gortash to give up), An Impossible Future (Karlach inner turmoil after her engine is fixed) and Cheesy Noodles (Gortash being a big meany towards Tav, who is unphased by this).

I am right now writing a story featuring Astarion dealing with a very, very depressed Gortash.

#baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #enver gortash #gortash #gortash redemption #redemption #karlach #karlach cliffgate

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randomthefox · 2 months

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Please observe that Tails is literally saying that he wants to DESTROY Eggman here.

"bwaaaaaaaah?"

Sonic the mediator. I've already talked about this scene before but I'm gonna do it again.

first note that Tails totally initiated this argument apropos of nothing. Tails is feeling salty and he's just throwing out resentment at Eggman because he finds being in his presence intolerable. As does Sonic, but Sonic is willing to tolerate it specifically BECAUSE he blames himself for causing this situation in the first place, as he'll explain. Meanwhile Tails is sitting there thinking "this wouldn't have happened if you'd just fucking listened to me >=/ "

Tails lashing out in this moment towards both of them makes perfect sense from his own perspective.

.... do you, though? Eggman didn't really present a very strong case on that point. It makes sense why Sonic ACCEPTED the argument that they need Eggman for this, because he's acting based on his own guilt and remorse for causing this and he wants to correct his mistakes. But I think it is entirely reasonable to point out that Tails could absolutely do it without needing Eggman around. And it's not like Sonic CONSULTED with Tails and asked if he was fine with the arrangement or anything, he just agreed to it unilaterally even though it meant saddling Tails with having to put up with having Eggman around.

Tails IS speaking from a place of unreasonable resentment here, he's letting his worser demons dictate what he says and is absolutely allowing bottled up resentment and the already agitated emotions in the heat of the moment bring him to accusing Sonic of acting in bad faith. Tails is upset that Sonic didn't listen to him in the first place, he's upset about not being asked if he was okay with Eggman tagging along, he's upset that Eggman EXISTS AT ALL, and now he's saying things that he doesn't mean and which he can't take back.

It's almost like he's an imperfect mortal person, or something.

Sonic's response of "what?" makes it clear that the game isn't exactly presenting Tails as being In The Right in this argument either. Sonic is responding as if Tails accusation is coming out of nowhere and feels unreasonable to him. Which it kind of does, externally. But if you connect the dots, it's perfectly logical FROM TAILS PERSPECTIVE why he is now expressing these emotions.

There's only so many ways I can try to put it into words, but: have you never BEEN in an ARGUMENT before? Have you never been the unreasonable party IN an argument? This is just a THING that people DO sometimes x3 It's completely believable human behavior, and it's entirely consistent with Tails established characterization of having self esteem issues and his behavior throughout the game up until this point.

I literally don't understand why people complain about this. I think they're just stupid.

Sonic's responses REALLY cannot be understated here, also. I'm sorry to raise the comparison because I know some people will believe it undermines my analysis, but if this was IDW!Sonic, he would totally just be an asshole to Tails here. IDW!Sonic would- well frankly, IDW!Tails wouldn't have even gotten to this point because IDW!Tails is a thoughtless drone who just mindlessly goes along with whatever Sonic says with no independent thought. But whenever IDW!Sonic is met with someone arguing against him, he EXPLODES at them and basically treats them like absolute garbage and tires to browbeat them into compliance, usually by attempting to emotionally manipulate them

or exclusively argues strictly from the point of view of things HE cares about rather than things the person he's talking to cares about.

He displays a clear lack of empathy, and a pathological need to be submitted to.

REAL SONIC meanwhile demonstrates true empathy, showing that he understands what other people value. He repeatedly tries to deescalate the situation by speaking in a relaxed or pleading tone, so that he doesn't add more fuel onto the fire of Tails heated emotions.

He tries to get Tails to understand the pragmatic needs of their situation, because Tails is a logos guy and he knows that a logical argument is USUALLY the correct approach to try and convince him. He is taken by surprise when Tails shoots back with a pathos response, because it's very unlike him. But he very quickly adapts by trying to reassure Tails emotional concerns. Look at the way he says "I do trust you-" only to be interrupted by Tails saying he doesn't, so then Sonic repeats himself with more emphasis "I DO trust you, Tails."

He tries to reassure Tails that his feelings are misdirected, that Sonic does value him, and then continues by expressing his OWN emotions to Tails. Explaining what his current feelings are, that he feels guilty and responsible for what's happening. Logos didn't work, so he appeals to Tails current pathos driven frame of mind, and attempts to get him to understand and sympathize with Sonics own pathos state. He even drives the point home by REPEATING TAILS OWN WORDS BACK TO HIM. "Do you know how much that bites?" That's actually a recommended negotiating tactic. Just repeat what the person you're talking to said in the form of a question. It makes them feel heard. It's part of active listening.

Tails being a little brat makes PERFECT SENSE for his character in this moment. And Sonic displays that he is exceptionally emotionally intelligent and knows exactly what to do and what to say, tailoring his approach to suit the flow of the conversation. THIS SCENE IS GOOD.

And Eggman even gets to butt in by demonstrating he's an absolute narcissist with no capacity for empathy whatsoever x3 Honestly this scene is such a rockstar moment for this game, I don't understand what peoples fucking problem is.

hehe, funnee game =3

#sonic lost world #foxeh plays lost world #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #miles prower #tails #eggman #dr. eggman #idw sonic #sonic idw

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runningfrom2am · 11 months

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in this life or the next (part II)

summary: you and rafe won the 75th annual Hunger Games as a team, but at what cost?

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 11.4k

tags/warnings: not as much as you would expect for a Hunger Games fic honestly. spoilers for the og Hunger Games movies I guess (but also not bc i changed it up a bit- you'll see), Ward being a shitty dad (as per usual). also this isn't thoroughly edited bc.. it's long and i'm still lazy.

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a/n: hi guys! this is part two of this fic, and i'm honestly pretty proud of how this story is coming together!! i hope anyone who enjoyed that one enjoys this one :) also i very much set it up for part three so look forward to that (eventually).

"Without further adieu, I'm pleased to welcome back, from District One and District Five, Rafe Cameron and Y/N Y/L/N, this year's Victors!" The base of the talk show's theme music bellowed in your ears as you followed your cue, holding tightly onto Rafe's hand as you took the stage again. You never imagined you would be back here, but you're grateful to be.

"Rafe, Y/N, I cannot honestly put into words how pleased I am to have you both back with me tonight. We're all so excited to have you- aren't we?" Caesar smiled, riling up the crowd once more as the cheers had died down. Rafe had a smile glued to his face, squeezing your hand once you were both sat down before letting it go.

"We're happy to be back." Rafe replied and you nodded, smiling over at him. He looked so much better- the colour had returned to his skin, a subtle pink flush you didn't care to take notice of before the games.

"I bet you are." Caesar nodded. "We have so much to talk about, but first, I'd like to personally congratulate you both on your win. This was the first-ever games to produce two winners, I hope you understand the extent of your accomplishment."

"Thank you, yeah." You smiled, turning your attention to the man across from you. "I couldn't have done it without him."

"Likewise," Rafe said, gently nudging your shoulder with his hand. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head with a smile.

"God, I just love your chemistry." Caesar said, smiling and leaning his chin onto his palm. This resulted in more laughs and cheers from the audience. "This is a perfect segue, actually," He sits up straighter again, a slight laugh leaving him. "You were aware that we were all watching, right? Because there were some very real... intense moments between you two in the arena that had us on the edge of our seats. The whole 'will they, won't they' tension was so palpable. So, I think we all just want to know, was it real?"

Rafe nodded, watching the man intently as he listened to him speak. You were both wondering where he was going with that, but while you felt your face burning red, you came up with a logical answer that effectively dodged what he was really asking. "I mean, yeah, of course, such significant amounts of stress on both the body and the mind would make anyone vulnerable in a way you wouldn't expect."

Rafe shifted in his seat, turning his gaze to you as Caesar nodded at your answer. "But with Y/N it was just so easy. She gave me a new perspective on everything, which I appreciate still so greatly. Just, yeah I don't think I could ever see myself sort of... opening up in that way with anyone else." Rafe added, thinking for just a moment before shaking his head with a slight laugh. "I didn't even care that the world was watching, because I knew she was listening, you know?"

A chorus of 'aw's came from the audience and you smiled at him, looking to Caesar quickly to gauge his reaction. His was fairly similar, hand clutched to his chest with a pout in his lip. "Well, there's your answer, folks. It's very real. That is just so sweet." He nods.

"Rafe is right," You chimed in, silence falling over the building. "But truly it is just such a harrowing, scary experience, and up until last year's games we had never seen tributes connecting in a way that we were given the opportunity to, in a similar way to Katniss and Peeta had, the tributes from twelve last year. I think that is a new experience for both the viewer and for us as tributes, and it sets a new standard for the games. I just count myself so lucky that I got chosen to be Rafe's partner, because otherwise we never would have met- or we at least wouldn't have gotten the chance to see each other as real people, with thoughts and feelings and families waiting at home."

When you finished speaking, the silence stuck for a few moments that felt like an eternity. "Well... Yes, I suppose you're right, Y/N." Caesar agreed, but you still felt in your gut that you had said something wrong as the audience murmured and whispered to each other. "I think this is a good time to move on, because Y/N, you just have such a way with words, and we all saw in the games that you have... just one of the most amazing minds we have ever seen in a tribute."

"Isn't it cool?" Rafe added, leaning in and looking between the two of you with a smile on his face. "Caesar, I told you she had a secret weapon!" The audience loved this, instantly coming back to life with laughs and cheers.

"Yes, you did! We definitely didn't expect that!" Caesar chuckles. "So, Y/N, let us in a little bit more- at what point did you realize that the arena was recycled?"

"Oh, immediately." You answered with a nod, folding your hands in your lap. "Honestly by the time I saw the cornucopia for the first time I confirmed it, it was kind of a relief."

He claps his hands together, clearly impressed. "That's incredible! You proved it over and over again. My favorite part was the bag- we were all so confused and I personally got a bit of a laugh when you were trying to point it out to Rafe and he just had this hilarious confused look on his face! From the first thirty seconds, you guys already had this dynamic that had everyone in Panem hooked on watching you. So please, Y/N, tell us what your secret is. How your brain works, if you will."

"Please, Y/N/N." Rafe agreed, mocking Caesar's intrigued posture as he gazes at you waiting for you to elaborate.

You laughed, gently smacking his shoulder. "I just... I don't know. I see something, learn something, whatever the context may be, and then I just know it. I assume it's the same for you, but I just hold on to all the extra stuff. I think I'm broken, or something. I didn't even know this was abnormal until Rafe pointed it out during our training- I just always thought I was smarter than my siblings." You joke, laughing slightly.

"Well, I can only imagine you would be hard to compete with academically with a mind like yours." Caesar chuckled. "So, tell us, what's next for Panem's favourite couple- as I understand you now are."

You and Rafe made eye contact briefly. You hadn't talked about it, despite having hardly left each others sides since you returned. "I don't know." You shrug. "I suppose whatever you guys tell us to do."

"I think we'll go home, see our families, relax a bit and then we'll be back and ready for the victory tour in a few months." Rafe cut in. Had you said something wrong again?

"And we can't wait- we will miss having you guys on our screens everyday, that is for sure." Caesar smiled, standing up which made up your signal to do the same.

"We look forward too seeing you again soon." Rafe smiled, shaking Caesar's hand as you stood up, quickly adjusting your dress in the meantime.

"Thank you so much for joining me tonight, and congratulations again on your win. Enjoy your time at home." Caesar turned to you, giving you a quick hug before you held Rafe's arm and walked offstage, waving to the audience for hopefully the last time in a while.

As you recalled the memory of the last time you saw Rafe in person, you find yourself getting nervous at the idea of seeing him again. It had been a long six months- and you had exchanged an endless string of handwritten letters.

Life for you in the Victor's Village was pleasant, refreshing, even- since it had felt like forever since you had known any kind of peace. It's in a quiet area of town, giving you lots of space to enjoy real fresh air in a way that felt safe. Unfortunately, your vivid nightmares couldn't be quelled by the cool breeze or your sisters sleeping peacefully next to you or the room across the hall.

Rafe had found out that yes, you did sign your name with a heart normally. At least, you did in the many letters he had received from you. It had been the longest six months of his life, but at the same time, a whirlwind of everything happening all at once. Regardless, he spent the entire time walking on eggshells around his father.

When Rafe was reunited with his family, his sister had thrown herself at him with such force he stumbled back when he caught her in his arms, holding her tight with a hand over the back of her head. "I never thought I would see you again..." She mumbled, chin wobbling against his shoulder.

"I missed you so much, Wheeze, you have no idea." He whispered back, gently stroking the back of her hair. He put her down gently, but she refused to let go of his waist as he acknowledged the rest of his family. Sarah, stoic, standing alongside their dad with a matching expression. She, somehow, had a smile behind her eyes that Rafe was all too familiar with. Sarah was happy to see him, though she would never admit it in Ward's presence.

"Rafe." Ward smiled, suddenly, shockingly, only until Rafe realized they had cameras on them as his father walked up and smacked a hand onto his shoulder, guiding him away. District One was proud to have another Victor to add to the growing roster, and they would always celebrate accordingly. Somehow, Rafe didn't feel special.

"Hey, Dad," Rafe replied, smiling nervously as his dad gave his shoulder a squeeze. He knew he was in trouble- big trouble, and maybe staying in the capitol wouldn't have been so bad. He hoped you were facing a more genuine welcome in Five.

"Are you excited to see your girlfriend today?" Sarah asks, bringing him back to reality as she leaned against the entryway to their home gym. To Rafe, their whole house felt cold now. The mansion was decorated mostly in white, with marble flooring and high ceilings that made the home feel so much emptier than he remembered it. Most of the time, he stayed alone at the home he'd been granted in the victors village.

"Yeah. I don't think she's my girlfriend, though." He replies, hardly tearing his eyes away from the combat training equipment that still haunts him.

Sarah furrows her brow accompanying a confused laugh. "What? Only all of Panem sees you as the hottest couple, but you don't know?"

"We never got to talk about it. So, yeah, I don't know."

"Will you ask her?"

Rafe shrugs, getting up from the bench and throwing the towel over his shoulder. "Probably. She's the only good thing I can think about, these days."

"You better get on that. I heard from the news that there's an engagement announcement on the horizon!" Sarah calls, turning on her heel as she heads back down the hall.

Rafe sighs, grabbing his water bottle and heading out after her. He's wanted to talk about this, of course, but in the victor's interview you mentioned that anyone would be so vulnerable with all that stress- and he couldn't help but be a little hurt by that. Then again, you've sent him letter after letter since you had been apart, so the signals he's getting are mixed- to say the least.

As he changes into the clothes his dad picked out for him for the first day of the Victory Tour, he hopes that seeing you again will bring only good memories. Not that there are many to choose from- but something in his gut is telling him that you will be the cure to his nightmares, or at the very least, someone to talk to about everything, even if it's just for a few months a year. Forever.

You're standing at the train station, surrounded by your family and an array of cameras, everyone anxiously awaiting the two of you being reunited. It's unknown to you if he will even get off the train, part of you hopes that he doesn't so your sisters don't get the chance to bug him. "He'll be happy to see you, hey?" Your mom interrupts your thoughts, nudging you gently with her elbow.

"Maybe." You shrug, pulling at the loose strings on the hem of your dress. "I don't know, I don't want to go. I'd rather stay home, Mom."

"I know, sweetheart... And we'll miss you." She sighs, kissing the side of your head and pulling you close with an arm around your shoulders. "But maybe it'll be nice to talk to him. He must understand you better than we can, these days."

"I don't know about that." You say softly, gazing down the tracks at the sound of the train quickly approaching. You take a deep breath, turning to hug your sisters so you have time. You were on a very tight schedule already, Opal was making sure of that. The train couldn't leave a minute late- even though you're sure that you and Rafe may be precious cargo, considering you're the only ones on it, spare for your teams, and the only reason the train is making this journey at all.

"I'll bet he jumps out of the train and tackles you to the ground because he missed you so, so, soooo much!" Your youngest sister giggles, clinging tightly to your arm.

You decide not to acknowledge it, eyes locked on the silver metal as it pulls up in front of you. "Don't say anything to him, you best leave him alone." Your dad reminds her, peeling her from your arm and into his side instead.

The door slides open, and just as you're lifting your one bag you're met with Rafe. Seeing him for the first time in person for months is shocking. He looks tired- you guess he's been having nightmares too. "Y/N.." He says, almost breathlessly as he leans against the door of the train.

"Hi." You whisper, giving him the best smile you can muster. Truly, you are happy to see him, but you do know he has to put on a show of the two of you being reunited. He jumps down, taking three large strides toward you before pulling you close and burying his face in your hair. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Me too." He mumbles, letting you go after a moment.

"Welcome to District Five, I guess." You laugh nervously, gesturing around you.

"Thank you, I've never been here before," Rafe explains, rather unnecessarily. "The ride was beautiful."

Opal is trying to usher you from behind the camera to move onto the train, and Rafe's hand is hanging at his side, fingers brushing gently over your arm. You get the message, just about to finally wave off your family for a second time. "Wait, hold on." Your dad cuts you off, stopping you both in your tracks.

"Thank you, Son." He nods, holding out his hand to Rafe. You can see his chin wobble, but you can also see that he's trying to keep a brave face for the cameras. Your family had been warned to not speak to him, to just say goodbye and let you walk onto the train since your reunion would be telecasted live- but he just couldn't let Rafe get away without him knowing how much he appreciated him saving you.

Rafe takes his hand and shakes it, returning the nod. "I would have died before taking her from you." They would have a less formal opportunity to meet towards the end of the tour when you revisited Five for a big celebration in both of your honour. You were already dreading it. Anyway, now, they only really had time for pleasantries. Not even that, if they were to follow Opal's schedule.

Cameras are quickly cut, and you wave goodbye now as you're actually forced onto the train. "Gosh, you two, we have places to be. Seriously." Opal says sternly, walking on behind you along with your stylist's team.

It's only a little while until you were talking again, like you had never been apart- and like everything was normal. Until, as the sun set over the mountains in District Eleven, you both got quiet, looking out the array of windows in the very last car.

"I'm glad to see you normally sign your name with a heart."

"Huh?"

"Uh, in the cave. You put your name on the wall, with a little heart beside it. I remember wondering if you normally write your name like that, and you do."

"Oh, yeah. When I'm signing something, I guess." You agree with a slight shrug. After a few moments of comfortable silence, both of you staring out the window over the tracks, you continue. "We're going to get in trouble. About what you said to my dad."

"I meant it," Rafe replies, not missing a single beat.

"Did Snow come to see you too?" You ask.

"Yeah." He nods. "I don't really care though, what can he do to me that he hasn't already done, you know?"

"He'd go after your sisters."

"He mentioned something about that. He won't, though. He's just trying to scare us into smiling for the cameras."

"I don't know..." You sigh. "I'd rather not risk it. Play it safe."

"You'll be doing that for the rest of your life, and he'll only demand more and more." Rafe shakes his head at you, reaching out and taking your hand. "With whatever is happening in the districts, he wouldn't run the risk of hurting our families. Your family, in particular. Panem loves your family, you gave them security by speaking so highly of them in the games, and they bought their own by spending all that money to send both of us something from home. He couldn't touch them without the whole country losing their minds."

"What? What's happening in the districts?" All you had seen on TV was reruns of your interviews and highlight reels of your own games. You tried not to watch much TV.

Rafe's eyes flicker with confusion as he scans your face. After a moment he realizes that of course, you wouldn't know. He only knows because of his dad- the news was so heavily censored in the outlying districts that there's no doubt you wouldn't have heard about the uprisings. "I-uh... My dad told me some stuff. There's been a couple of uprisings, nothing serious, but still. He wants us to keep them happy." He decidedly leaves out the fact that people in farther districts, outside of your own, are really not your biggest fans.

"Oh... Well, I'll try my best. Do you know what they were about?"

"No, uh, I don't know much about it. Sorry." Rafe mumbles, dropping your hand to push himself up from the couch. "I should probably get some sleep. You too."

Looking at how dark it is outside now, he's probably right. You have a long couple of weeks ahead, starting tomorrow. Starting it off with a full night's sleep would no doubt be beneficial- and who knows what time Opal will be waking you up in the morning.

You stretch out your arms as you stand up, yawning as you follow Rafe out the door and toward your cabin where your things are waiting for you.

It's not long after a quick shower that you pass out in bed, already tired and lulled to sleep by the steady movement of the train. And it's not long after that until you're standing on the silver pedestal that typically haunts your dreams yet again.

You look around, trying desperately to put together the pieces of where you are. You can't. You can, everything looks the same, but there's a feeling of panic in your gut that tells you you don't know a thing as the timer ticks down in front of you, the sound echoing throughout the arena.

Your head snaps to the left when you hear someone yelling for you. Your sister. She looks pale, you can practically see her shaking from where you're standing. She's yelling at you still, but you can't make out what she's saying as you realize that it isn't just her. Your whole family is there, and no sign of Rafe.

How are you supposed to do this without him?

The timer reaches zero, and the alarm blades signaling the games have begun. You're quick to sprint for your youngest sister, your first goal being getting her away. As you reach her you look back toward the cornucopia, blood already sprayed across the side of the glistening metal and bodies on the ground. Exactly the way it was last time.

"We have to get you out of here. We have to go south, we have to-" You're cut off by her freezing, stumbling back, and falling into the grass.

You call for her in a panic, looking back over your shoulder. You have nothing. There's nothing you can do to help as she chokes on blood from the knife now embedded in her chest.

It was you. You're standing there, a sick smile on your face with dropped shoulders- you had thrown it. Just how Rafe had taught you.

You wake up to the sound of your own screaming, sitting up quickly and kicking off your blanket. Your hair is stuck to your forehead as you scramble to place your surroundings. It wasn't real. It felt so real.

"Y/N?" You look up to the door in a panic as Rafe pushes the door open, brows furrowed in concern. "Are you okay?"

His presence starts to calm you almost instantly. "Yeah, just a dream." You say breathlessly. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"I couldn't sleep anyway." He insists, stepping in and closing the door. "Can I stay?"

You just nod, sliding over to make room for him.

Rafe pads across the floor, climbing in bed next to you and laying down, getting comfortable as you lay facing each other. Your heart is still racing. You still see your sister suffering at your own hand.

Without saying a word, Rafe reaches up, hesitating for a moment before brushing your hair back from your forehead. "I get nightmares too." He whispers, settling his hand on your cheek, gently brushing over your skin with his thumb.

"I'm sorry." You whisper back, eyes still open as you try and look at him in the dark.

He knows you're not apologizing as if it's your fault, more so saying you wish that neither of you were plagued with the memories of what you had been through. "Me too." He whispers, finally closing his eyes. Maybe now, with you here, he'll feel safe enough to get a full night of sleep without being interrupted by the screams of the kids that he killed.

You wake up with another jolt when the door flies open, slamming against the wall. "Oh, thank god. Rafe! What are you doing in here? Get up, hurry. We've spent far too much time searching the train for you." You blink a few times, rubbing your eyes as you process the harsh awakening by his escort, Zara.

"I'm up..." Rafe grumbles from beside you, taking a deep breath in with his head pressed against your back and an arm over your waist.

"God, you scared me. Now come on, we're already late." She says, standing and holding the door, waiting for him to get moving.

He sighs in response, and you feel a rush of cold air as he leaves you, stretching as he gets up and follows Zara out of the room. The train has stopped moving, you notice this quickly as you get up yourself. It's safe to assume Opal is waiting for you as well.

Walking out onto the stage of District Twelve is humbling, to say the very least. They are among the poorest of Panem's districts, even District Five seems like the Capitol compared to this. The pedestals in front of us display images of the four tributes behind where their families stand. It is all too real as you stand there in front of a large crowd in yet another uncomfortable dress.

Rafe holds your hand as you walk out, scanning over the crowd too. Even his already fake smile begins to fade at the sight and he looks pale. He's clutching your speech cards in his other hand, and you clock how it's slightly shaking from nerves as you are directed to begin speaking and he raises the cards.

"We are united as Panem is united. Our love has opened our eyes to the greatness of our country." You can tell in his voice he's trying to maintain his charismatic charm, but it's failing him. He can't tear his eyes away from the tributes' families, recognizing the faces on the screens behind them. One of the girls stands out, and he shakes away her voice in his head begging him to spare her life with her leg caught in the trap he asked you to set. He adjusts his focus to the mountains in the distance before he continues. "Love illuminates the truth-"

"You're standing where Katniss and Peeta should be!" He's interrupted by someone shouting from the crowd. It's easy to pick out the voice in the sea of people. A boy, a few years older than you with dark hair and a strong build. He's worked his whole life, no doubt. There's a blonde girl next to him- Prim. Katniss's sister, who she had volunteered for last year.

Rafe is frozen, staring at them for a moment before looking back to Zara, who gestures for him to continue. He's squeezing your hand now, tighter. "That's her sister." You whisper to him before he gets the chance to speak again. "May I?"

He looks down at you, silently asking if you're sure. Secretly, Rafe is relieved. You nod to him again and he hands you the cards. You don't need them, so you place them down on the pedestal in front of you.

"I understand the tremendous loss your community has faced at the hands of these games. And I am sorry." Rafe taps your arm, watching you now as you speak. You look up at him briefly and he nods to you. "We are sorry." You correct, reading from him that that is what he wanted.

"We can't fix the past, but I can tell you that without Spruce, Fletcher, Trilly, and Cerise we wouldn't be standing here today. We are forever in debt to them, and to you, for something that we didn't want to take in the first place." You pause, clearing your throat as you feel a tightness in your chest. "I never knew Katniss or Peeta, but watching them at home inspired me, and remember wondering when I watched Katniss volunteer for little Prim if I would do the same for my sisters, and as much as I love them I realized that I don't know if I ever could. And then, at the end, when she and Peeta both chose to die rather than live without each other, rather than pumping out another victor from the games- I was in awe. Of their bravery, and of their sacrifice. I thought I could never do that. They were braver than me."

You stare around the silent crowd, aiming to memorize every face. "Then I met Rafe, and I finally understood them. We would have done the same, but we were given a greater opportunity. I don't know why it was us and not them, and what we did to deserve our lives again, but I am truly sorry that it wasn't them." You spit out, choking over every word.

"It's because he's one of them!" The same boy shouts, pointing at Rafe and you notice peacekeepers shoving their way through the crowd toward him.

Rafe swallows the lump in his throat, keeping a straight face as he looks out at the boy.

"We are sorry that you lost loved ones." You say again, looking up at him briefly.

Before you can continue, Rafe is moving you aside to speak again. "I will donate half of my winnings to the families of our fallen tributes, as well as the families of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. It is the very least I can do, and I know that it won't bring them back, but I am sorry."

Rafe sees the peacekeepers quickly approaching and he wraps one arm around you, holding the other out towards them. "Hey, hey! Don't touch her, we'll go." He says, letting the peacekeepers guide you back off of the stage and out of view as chaos breaks out in the crowd.

"Y/N Y/L/N are you crazy?" Opal is there quickly, looking like she is ready to smack you if she didn't know better.

"What? What did I do?" You ask, panic evident in your voice as you hear shots firing outside.

"She just said what she thought they wanted to hear." Rafe defends you, but even he knows you messed up. In the eyes of the President, anyways.

"Yes, but that is the exact opposite of what Snow wants to hear! And you! Offering them his money? Did you think that was smart?"

"I- I don't know, I didn't know what to do and lord knows I don't need it! They can have it all for all I care." Rafe sighs, shaking his head dismissively.

"Rafe! You were given explicit instructions to keep the peace! Your father is going to be furious, you realize that right?" Zara intervenes.

"Instructions to what, sell this 'against all odds love story'? They want us together so they can brainwash Panem into thinking that privileged districts and the stupid Capitol can get along with the others, and that we're all a big happy family, but its all bullshit. I don't want to be a part of that and I never asked to be." Rafe shouts at her, and Opal gasps as you look away.

"I'll- uhm, yeah. Right. Opal, can you come with me back to the train? I want to leave." You mumble.

She glares at Rafe as she places a hand on your back, leading you toward the exit with peacekeepers following to escort you out of the building.

Heartbreak wasn't exactly on your bingo card for the first day of the victory tour. At least you got your answers, though. Rafe wants nothing to do with you, and now you can go about the rest of your life being forced to pretend you're in love. Great.

The tour continues as scheduled. Every day, occasionally with a day of travel time in between, you find yourself standing on a stage, a smile glued to your face, reading from a script with your hand wrapped around one belonging to a boy who couldn't care less about you. It's torturous.

The day finally comes, after cycling painfully through all the other districts that you make it to the first of two big parties, you're finally home.

"Y/N, Honey, welcome home." Your mom greets you at the door with a hug.

"I missed you." You mumble, pulling her into a hug. She shuts the door behind you as you step away, looking outside for just a moment.

"Where's Rafe?"

"He's staying down the road." You mumble, avoiding eye contact with her and stalking up to your room.

You feel guilty about being grateful for the many empty houses in the victor's village, allowing him his own place to stay instead of staying with you.

You have a few hours of peace before Opal will come with your stylist to prep you and your family for the party and address that's happening tonight, and the one thing on your agenda before then is a good, long nap.

A good, long nap, however, was not something on your sister's agenda, and it was only a matter of minutes before she was barging into your room.

"Y/N! How come Rafe isn't here?" She asks aptly, throwing herself onto your bed next to you.

"He's busy." You grumble, pulling the blankets tighter around yourself.

"Oh, like you? So busy right now you can't say hi to your favourite sister?"

"You're not my favourite."

"Rude." She makes herself at home in your bed, curling up next to you. For the first three months you were home, she didn't leave your side. She had slept in your bed every night, uncomfortable both with the move and her new room away from the one you had previously shared, and also with the idea of losing you again. "Did you kiss him?" She giggles once she's settled in, whispering despite the first time you kissed Rafe being broadcast on national television for the whole country to see.

"No." You whisper back, feeling tears prick at your eyes. "He hates me."

"What? How? I need more details than that, I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"It was all fake. To get people to like us, to make us win and now to keep Snow from coming after our families." You say quietly, finding it difficult to admit your naivety to even yourself. "He never meant any of it."

Your sister is shocked, jaw slack with your explanation. She's only sixteen, but you can see the gears turning in her head. She loves a romance book, and growing up in a house where your parent's hands were rarely disconnected has built her into somewhat of a relationship expert. Or so she thinks, at least. "No. No, that's not true."

"It is, he said it."

"Exactly like that? What were his exact words?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"I don't remember."

"You're lying. There's not a thing anyone has ever said to you that you've forgotten." She insists. "But, fine, I guess it doesn't matter because I know it's not true. I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not watching. He's so in love with you it's absurd. Trust me."

You sigh, pulling the blanket away from your face to look up at her. "Don't say that."

"Why? I'm right."

You sniffle, wiping your eyes on the sheet before explaining. "He said we're being forced together to prove something to the public, and he never wanted to be a part of that."

"I knew you were lying." Your sister smiles, pushing your hair back from your face. "But that means nothing. Less than nothing! I wasn't there, but he probably meant that he doesn't want to be together just to be a public spectacle, or to push some agenda that's not his own. That says nothing about how he truly feels about you."

"I don't know..." You reply, skeptical of her thought process. "You should have seen him. He was so angry-"

"At you?"

"Well, no-"

"Then it wasn't about you." She assures you, tucking herself into the blanket. "We'll have a nap, and then you'll talk to him tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea." You protest.

"It is. Now shh, I'm napping." She hums, eyes already closed as she drapes her arm over your side.

The exhaustion took over and you did end up falling asleep, your sisters breath on your face calming you enough to get some well-needed rest.

You're woken up abruptly, thrown into a show dress that is at least comfortable enough to breathe in, and after being smothered in makeup and hair fried, you're pushed out of the door and into a car.

This address will be hard. You know Jack's family, and to see them standing on the pedestal across from you, behind the crowd, leaves you sick just at the thought of it. Maisie's as well, though you were far from responsible for her death. Again, the idea of why it was you and not them crosses your mind. At this point, you doubt it will ever stop.

Standing backstage, waiting for your queue, Rafe approaches you hesitantly. He knows you're angry, but over the last couple of weeks, you haven't given him a moment to explain. He wishes he could just explain.

"Do you want me to take the lead on this one?" He asks, adjusting the collar of his shirt as he takes his spot next to you, suit tailored to match your dress.

"No. I've got it." You reply coldly, eyes locked on the door ahead of you.

Rafe sighs, reaching out to grab your hand, as was your routine now. You can hear the introductions on stage ahead of you, the audience quieting down. At least this time, the district is mostly celebrating a local win, rather than mourning the senseless deaths of four of their children. This time, it's only three.

You take his hand, building up the energy to smile. You're happy, and you're happy together. Convincing your home district will be harder because, for the rest of your life, you have to keep up this show.

"Can we talk later?" Rafe whispered, leaning down and your skin tingled with the contact of his breath.

"Okay." You say, tone hardly audible as the doors open for you. Let the show begin.

You both smile and wave your way onto the stage, for the first time being met with cheers rather than blank stares. It's refreshing until you see Jack's parents adorning their little stage at the back. You wish they looked angrier, like they believed you were responsible. For some reason, you feel like they don't.

You don't realize people are waiting for you to speak until Rafe does for you, once again ignoring the queue cards.

"District Five, thank you for welcoming me into your community. I have never been here before, but when I say it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, I mean it." He smiles, clearing his throat while the people clap. "I also want to say thank you, because without the sacrifice of your people, I wouldn't be standing here today. That means the world to me, more than I can ever express."

You chew on your lip, scanning across the back and finally seeing your own family. Their presence brings you a comfort you didn't know you needed so badly. "And to Y/N's family, thank you, truly, for raising your daughter into the incredible girl that she is. Without her, there is no chance I could have survived. She saved me. I can never repay you for what you have given me." You watch as your dad pulls your mom close with an arm around her shoulder, hugging her. She looks like she's going to cry, your dad does too.

You try not to laugh as your sister stands with her arms crossed, shaking her head at you, a smug smile on her face. "I told you." You read her lips, and you shake your head back at her.

"Okay, okay, thank you, Rafe." You chuckle, taking the mic from him. "I would just like to say, I am so lucky to be back, and thank you to all of you for being such amazing, supportive people my whole life. It takes a village, they say, and I know I was enough of handful for the whole village to be sick of." You shrug, pulling some laughs from the audience. "I also want to say, to Maisie, Jack, and Caylen's families, I am truly sorry for your loss, but they fought hard. I hope you are proud of who they were. And Mr and Mrs Kyle, I hope you know I never wanted to hurt Jack. I'm so sorry I ever did." You finish, taking a step back to signal that you were done.

Rafe drops your hand to gently rub your back as your eyes are once again trained on his parents. They're crying, of course, as are you, but as his mom nods at you, you feel an incredible weight lifted off your shoulders. One death you felt so personally responsible for, and their family was kind enough to forgive you. Rafe hasn't been so lucky, you've seen it first hand. As you guessed, he is sick about it. Somehow, seeing Jack's family offer you that moment of forgiveness makes him feel better, too, knowing that you won't be suffering the way he is forever.

"Remember, this is your day. Everyone is here to celebrate you, dear." Opal reminds you, gently smoothing the front of your dress back at your home, getting changed for the party. "I am so proud of you."

You smile, for some reason finding yourself fighting off tears. "Thank you, for everything. I know I wasn't always pleasant to be around."

"No one expected you to be." She assures you, planting a kiss on your cheek. "My beautiful victor..."

You look up as there's a knock on the door to your room. "Rafe is here, can we let him in?" One of your stylists assistants says through the wood and Opal answers before you get the chance.

"Yes, let him in." You give her a look and she chuckles, placing her hands on your shoulders. "He's been dying to talk to you, dear. We'll give you a few minutes, and we'll be right outside."

You sigh, nodding as the door gets pushed open. "Rafe! Dear, you look so handsome." Opal smiles at him, patting his shoulder as her and your stylist shuffle out, letting Rafe in and closing the door behind themselves.

Of course, you would be matching his outfit. By now you anticipated it, but Rafe's suits never failed to impress you. It was almost entirely white, with gold cuffs and collars, and somehow, the shoes were a gold leather as well. All matched perfectly to the accents on your dress, and you wonder if his suit alone cost more than the house you grew up in. It's likely.

"You look beautiful." He breaks the silence, smiling at you nervously.

"Thanks.. You too. Handsome. I mean, white suits you."

He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've missed you." He says, looking at you intensely to gauge your reaction. "Look, if... I did something I'm sorry. I was hoping we could talk, I want to fix things."

"If you did something." You scoff, nodding. You can't help but laugh a little bit.

"Okay, I did something. That's obvious, then. Okay." Rafe says, wracking his brain to figure out exactly where he went wrong. He has a good idea, because you ghosted him immediately after his fight with Zara and Opal in Twelve, but they had both forgiven him, understanding that he wasn't upset with them personally. "How do I fix it?"

"Oh, you want to fix it? That's rich. Truly."

"Y/N, I don't understand. You have to level with me, please." He begs, brow furrowed with upset now.

"You wouldn't want the Capitol to think we're fighting, right? You had a change of heart?" You ask rhetorically, grabbing a drink from the cart they moved into your room.

"Please, just spell it out for me. I can't go on like this, I almost lost you once. I'm not doing it again."

You sigh, the desperation in his voice forcing you to be more empathetic. "Okay, Rafe. Fine. You told them that you wanted nothing to do with this relationship. Right in front of me. I don't understand why you couldn't grasp that that hurt me, but if it wasn't clear, I really care about you."

Rafe looks down, staring at the carpet as he listens, nodding as he connects the dots. "Oh- oh! Oh, no, I didn't mean that. You have to know I didn't mean that, Y/N, come on!"

"Then why would you say it?" Your tears are threatening to return now as your voice shakes.

"Okay, I mean, I meant it, but that has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to do with me? It has everything to do with me!"

"No, it doesn't." Rafe insists, stepping closer to you now. You can't bring yourself to back away. You've missed having him close. "I meant I don't want to be with you just so they can have a new front page couple. I meant I want to be with you because I want to be with you. Because I love you, not because they want me to love you."

You freeze, thinking over what he said. His I love you echoing in your mind like you're standing in a wind tunnel. "I... What?"

"Y/N," Rafe chuckles, reaching up now and holding your face in his large hands. "You are the smartest person I have ever met in my life, but sometimes, you are so dumb."

You can't help but giggle at that, shaking your head slightly. Rafe looks at you like you're holding his world in your hands. "Do you mean it?" You ask after a few moments.

"I've never meant anything more." You can feel his breath on your skin for the second time in one day, and you don't think you can go without it for another. You're sure your heart stops beating for a moment as he thumbs over your bottom lip, and just as you're sure you could throw up from how pretty he looks up close, you're pulling on the front of his jacket to close the gap between you.

It works, beautifully, and despite your confidence in the moment, he's very gentle. You've kissed before, sure, but you were both pumped so full of adrenaline that you couldn't stop laughing long enough to enjoy it- and that's looking past the fact that he was likely moments from death; thank god for the anti-venom the peacekeepers brought on board.

You hold tight onto his jacket, likely to keep your knees from buckling under you as his lips pass over yours, over and over again. "I love you too." You mumble into his skin, and you can feel him smiling against you.

"Kids? It's awfully quiet in there! Not to interrupt but we are on a deadline here!" Opal calls through the door, knocking on it gently with a gloved hand.

At the intrusion you practically jump apart, sighing a breath of relief when she doesn't open the door. "Okay, coming! Just one second." You reply, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice as you gather your things.

You don't know why you're desperate to avoid suspicion, but you're pulling the door open before either of you say anything else to each other. You both know you're okay, and that's what matters.

"Oh! Good, you're ready to go? Let's get moving." Opal nods at you as you pass her, cheeks burning. "Oh my, absolutely not!" She gasps, and you turn to see as Rafe walks out and she's producing a small linen from her bag and wiping off his mouth for him.

"I can do it..." Rafe mumbles, grabbing it from her to remove the rest of your lipstick from around his mouth as you both feel your faces turning red.

Unfortunately, you were only allowed time for one night at home before you moved on to the last uncovered district in your tour, District One.

"Are you excited to be home?" You ask Rafe, once again curled up in the back train car looking at the view. You've got a blanket draped over both of you, your legs falling over his lap.

"I really liked your brother. He's cool." Rafe dodges the question tactfully, and it's not lost on you that he doesn't want to talk about his home. "And your sister was hilarious."

"Yeah," You scoff, shaking your head. "I don't know who gave her Posca, but they shouldn't have. She was drunk out of her mind."

"Isn't she fifteen?"

"Sixteen actually, her birthday was last month." You laugh, dropping your head back onto the armrest behind you. "Be honest though, if you were given that opportunity at sixteen wouldn't you take it?"

Rafe shrugs, running his hand up and down your thigh. "Probably not, my dad would throw a tantrum."

"Is he strict?"

"Extremely."

"Oh. Still? I mean, one, you're eighteen- you're not a kid anymore, and two, shouldn't he just be happy you're alive? Even if that means you're drinking underage?"

"You would think." Rafe sighs, patting your leg gently. "Our reputation is his number one priority. Not his kids."

"I see." You nod softly. "That must be hard for you."

"Well, it's all I've ever known. So it's not that bad. I just worry about my sisters."

"I would too." You agree. "But, they have you. That makes all the difference."

"I try to. He wants them to volunteer, though. The only thing better for his business than one kid in the games is two, and the entertainment factor in that is valuable." Without any cameras around to record your every move, for one of the first times ever, Rafe can speak more candidly to you about it. And it is such a relief.

"That is just... so unfathomable to me." You reply. "Not to disrespect him, or anything, I mean all the respect for who he is and what he does, but I just can't imagine why he wouldn't prioritize your lives more. Especially after your mom..." You trail off here, realizing that's a door only he should open. You had seen a profile of him on the news, as a matter of fact your whole family sat down to watch it together after you got home. You don't know details of what happened, but they mentioned that she passed when he was ten. It broke your heart.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." You try and correct yourself, feeling him tense up under you as he stares out the window across from you.

"It's okay." Rafe insists, relaxing himself again to continue tracing patterns on your leg. "You're right. It is kind of backwards. I never got that before, but after going through what we did... I wouldn't ever want my sisters to get pushed through the same turnstile. You know?"

"Of course." You nod softly, grabbing his hand off your leg and holding it.

"Anyway, my mom never wanted us to volunteer. She stood out that way, people looked down on her because of it. Then she got sick and... yeah." Rafe continues and you squeeze his hand.

"I'm sorry, truly." You say, tone gentle.

"It happens." Rafe shrugs. "I admit, I was disappointed when Sarah didn't get picked with me. Especially with the team aspect, and I'm surprised that she didn't, but now I'm so glad she wasn't. Not to say she wouldn't have been a strong competitor. If she gets picked next year I guarantee she will win, actually." He says, smiling fondly with a shake of his head. "I've tried talking her out of volunteering, but she hasn't budged. She wants to please Ward, and I get that. I just hope she has the strength that I didn't."

"That's hard. I mean, at least I don't have to convince my sisters not to volunteer. They wouldn't do it if we begged them to, not that we ever would. Obviously." You chuckle, and Rafe does too. "Maybe... Would you mind if I talked to her? I have a way with little sisters."

"By all means." Rafe nods. "Good luck, though."

"I have a question." You say, after a moment of silence between the two of you, the train rattling over the tracks below you with an almost unsettling smoothness.

"Shoot."

"Since so many people volunteer, doesn't that take away the purpose of volunteering? Do they put all the volunteers into a bowl and draw names anyway? How do they pick?"

Rafe laughs, dropping your hand to reach out and ruffle your hair. "You will see."

It isn't long before you start pulling into One. It looks like a mini Capitol, but with more mansions and less giant buildings, it was extravagant nonetheless. Your face was practically glued to the window the whole drive in, as Rafe pointed out who lived where, and any landmarks you passed. It was fascinating, and you wished you were on speaking terms when you arrived in Five. There would have been lots to share.

You can't help but note that his family wasn't there to greet the train, at least you don't think they were- there was a crowd of strangers there waiting excitedly, along with more security to escort you and your teams away from the station.

Everyone there seemed to be a fan, particularly of Rafe's, and this was a comforting change of pace.

Rafe watches you with a fond smile as you stop, crouching down to talk to a little girl who wiggled past security and pulled on the bottom of your dress.

"This is for you, Miss Y/N." She says, so quietly you can hardly hear her over the sound of shuttering cameras and shouting in your direction.

You take the small flower from her and smell it. "It's beautiful, thank you, hun." You smile, taking it and tucking it behind your ear. "What's your name?"

"Clara."

"Clara, that's such a lovely name. Thank you for coming to say hi."

"Can I give you a hug?"

You nod, opening your arms to the little girl who practically falls into your lap, hugging you right around your neck. "When I grow up I'm going to be just like you. I'm gonna win." She says as you let her go, and your heart drops in your stomach.

Your smile falters and you nod at her a little. "Stay safe, okay?" You settle on, gently pushing her hair out of her eyes and standing up as Rafe places his hand on your shoulder, signalling it was really time to go.

You ease the girl back to her waiting parents, before standing upright and joining Rafe, waving to people as you follow him to the car, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling you're left with after that interaction.

The speech in District One was easier, similar to District Two, where people seemed happy to see you- more careless of the lives of young people they had lost. To them, it was an honour to go, even if you never returned home. That's where you first laid eyes on Rafe's sisters, and you could see immediately the difference he was telling you about.

Sarah looked much more like him, and Wheezie like their father, you could only guess that their mother had the dirty blonde hair and blue eyes she passed onto her oldest children.

At the party, it wasn't long before you saw her again, despite the large property and the sea of guests. Pretty much the moment you walked in, Ward was on the two of you with the girls in tow.

"Y/N! It is so good to meet you." He smiles, reaching out to shake your hand which you quickly oblige.

"You as well, Mr. Cameron."

"Please, call me Ward. All my friends do." He grins, nodding to the two girls with him. "These are my daughters, Sarah and Louise."

You try and introduce yourself, but you hardly get past a smile before he's ushering the group of you along. "There are loads of people who have been looking forward to meeting you. Come with me."

You just smile and nod, Rafe staring blankly at his dad as he leads the way.

You meet lots of people, and despite your average height you feel like they're looking down on you. No doubt you're seen as somewhat of a freeloader- carried through the games by Rafe's strength and training, but despite this, Ward introduces you to every last person as Rafe's girlfriend. Not that you mind, you had to assume that's what you were. He didn't seem bothered by it, so neither would you.

"I'm off to grab a drink, care to join?" Sarah offers, linking her arm with yours after what must have been the twenty-fifth new person in the last hour.

"I'd like that." You agree, giving a slight wave to Rafe who nods in approval before you're gone.

"It's a lot. I'm sorry." Sarah says, smile on her face as she guides you through the crowd.

"No, it's nice. I like meeting new people."

"No you don't." Sarah cuts you off, and you can tell it's not with bitter intentions.

"Not really, no." You cave and agree, laughing quietly.

"Rafe told me that. He said you didn't talk the first few days he knew you."

"That's not true." You laugh, correcting her quickly. "Not entirely. I was in shock, I guess."

Sarah shrugs, dropping your arm as you reach the bar. Before either of you say anything the bartender, an avox clad in the standard red uniform, places two drinks in front of you.

"Thank you." You smile, lifting the glass. They just nod and quickly move on as Sarah grabs her drink as well.

You sneak off into a somewhat quiet corner, where you can sit and talk without too many people overhearing. "Rafe speaks very highly of you, I was looking forward to meeting you." You offer as you both sit down at an empty couch.

"Now that," Sarah laughs, coughing slightly on her drink. "Is a shock."

"What?" You laugh. "No way, he loves you."

"No." Sarah shakes her head, gesturing across the room to where she's spotted her family. "He loves Wheezie. I'm just around."

You look over to where she pointed, seeing Rafe standing with his sister as they discreetly jab each other in the side while Ward is talking to yet another "important" friend. Rafe is trying to hide his smile, keep it professional, but he's cracking.

"He loves you too. Just as much." You insist. "Are you open to my theory?" You ask, looking at her as she returns her gaze to you, raising a questioning brow.

"Please." She tilts her glass toward you, urging you to continue.

"I think you guys are a lot alike. And that scares him because he doesn't want you to be like him." You say confidently, polishing off the statement with a sip of the champagne in your hand.

"That..." Sarah takes a drink before continuing. "Is not an entirely bad theory."

"Are you going to volunteer?" You ask, deciding to get right to it. Sarah doesn't seem like the type to dance around what she wants to say, she's confident in every statement she makes. She truly does remind you of Rafe when you first met him.

"Did Rafe ask you to talk me out of it?"

"No. I offered." You reply honestly. "But really I'm just curious. He does tend to be kind of biased these days."

"I see." Sarah nods, thinking on it for a moment. "Tell him I haven't decided yet."

"I have two sisters, both your age and Wheezie's, but I also have an older brother. I see myself in both of you." You explain. "I think you should do what feels right to you. Not to Rafe and me, or to Ward, or to anyone, really. But if you did ask me, I would tell you I would volunteer again somehow if it meant sparing my sisters. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Sarah listens to you intently. Whether her reaction shows it or not, you can tell she's really thinking about it. That's all you could ask for. "All the fame and the money it could bring your family isn't worth Wheezie's life, so why would it be worth yours?" You add.

"Would you give it up now if it meant you would have never met my brother?" She follows up with a simple question, but it stumps you.

"I don't know." You answer honestly, watching him again across the room. "But he was the only good thing to come out of it."

The air is warm in the Capitol, and you're not sure whether to attribute that to the humidity of polluted and stuffed air, or the several fire features decorating the President's property lawn where you're attending yet another party in your honour. It feels far from welcoming.

You can't bring yourself to drink, despite how tempting it is to drown out the evening in bottles of whatever alcohol they're handing out on seemingly endless trays of crystal glasses.

You're clinging to Rafe's arm, accepting compliments from people who look like they've never known any kind of trauma in their lives. The way the Capitol elite feel entitled to every detail of your life makes you nauseous.

"Thank you everyone for coming." The President's voice is booming suddenly over speakers you can't see, and everyone's attention is drawn to where he's standing on the balcony overlooking the property. "It is my honour to host our most recent victors here with us tonight, Rafe Cameron and Y/N Y/L/N!" He stops to allow applause as you smile awkwardly and nod to those around you, waiting anxiously for him to continue. You just want to get this over with.

"Your love story has been an inspiration to us all, and I'd like to raise a toast to your success and to your happiness." People around you congratulate you, and you lean your head onto Rafe's shoulder, squeezing his arm.

"President Snow would like to see you both in his office." A peacekeeper says, appearing out of nowhere and gently escorting you into the building.

"What do you think this is about?" You whisper as you reach a blocked-off hallway.

"I don't know." Rafe mumbles back. He has a good idea though, to him toast sounded more like a threat than a celebration. "Just... let me handle it. Okay?"

You just nod, stopping behind the peacekeeper at a big wooden door. He nods, gesturing that you enter.

"Have a seat." Snow offers, and Rafe pulls out your chair for you, deciding that he would stand. "Thank you for coming."

"We were in the area." Rafe replies impatiently. "What can we do for you?"

"I wanted to discuss our agreement one more time, since clearly, the two of you were left a little confused." Snow says, resting his hands on the desk that sits between you.

"The money was a show of good faith." Rafe replies, resting his hand on your shoulder.

"To you, maybe, but to them, it is a sign that you are on their side." The President corrects. "You are not one of them. Not anymore. If they believe that you are, that they have people with power on their side, the uprisings will continue and the death toll will be catastrophic. I have a feeling that both Districts One and Five will not recover."

You bite your tongue, keeping your eyes locked on the rose sitting in front of you on the desk. "I think there is no use in giving the people of Panem false hope, because you do not have the power you think you do. You are not invincible. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." You nod softly, anxious to leave.

"Go enjoy the party. After all, it's all for you." Snow dismisses you, and neither of you are in a position to argue.

Leaving the Capitol again was a relief, especially with the promise that a train would be made available to either of you as you wished to travel exclusively between your home Districts. Not that you would particularly want to travel anywhere else, anyway.

Rafe had a preference for coming to visit you, despite your home being much smaller than his. And much more crowded, but he didn't mind. Having a home full of sounds felt much more welcoming to him, even if he was only there for a weekend here and there. He had sisters to look after as well.

In all those months, he came down twice a month, and you looked forward to it every time. Everything was so normal, besides the interviews you did every so often, just to show everyone how happy you were thanks to the "generosity" of the Capitol, and that's a story you're more than pleased to stick with if it means keeping your families safe.

"It isn't far, right? Because I'm too out of shape for a long hike." Rafe jokes, letting you pull him by the hand through a wooded area not far from your house.

"Oh please, you could do it in your sleep." You laugh, shaking your head. "But no, if you must spoil the surprise, it's not far."

Rafe follows you silently, smiling as he watches you beat your way through a slightly overgrown path. The image flickers in his mind of you in your windbreaker, hair tied back around itself to keep it away from your eyes as you run through the bushes in the arena.

"Here, look." You interrupt his thought process with a jolt, the sunlight blinding him as you push past a final branch and hold it out of his way. "Behold, the pride and joy of District Five." You smile, gesturing out over the cliffside.

"Oh, wow."

"Isn't it pretty?" You ask, dropping his hand to walk closer to the edge overlooking the large dam. "All the electricity in all of Panem comes from here."

"I didn't expect it to be so... scenic." Rafe says, joining you closer to the edge as you sit down.

"Yeah, it's pretty." You agree, crossing your legs. "My dad worked in there for years, he just retired. My brother works there now."

"I can imagine." Rafe says, tearing his eyes away from the depth of the ravine in front of him to look at you. You look so at home here, he can tell by how you're hunched over so casually tossing pebbles off the cliff that must be a thousand feet deep. Even then, you're not scared. "Do you come here a lot?"

"Is that a pickup line?" You giggle, leaning back on your palms as you look over at him.

"Well, no, but would it work?" He smirks, placing his hand over yours as he matches your position.

"Only because it's you." You laugh, shaking your head.

"That was the correct answer." Rafe chuckles, looking back down at the giant damn that's filtering water through, powering his family's mansion back home. He thinks of all the hours your dad put in, sometimes sixteen-hour days he recalls him sharing, that he was working in the power plant to keep the lights on at Rafe's kitchen table where he sat with his dad and his sisters rarely uttering a word. The same hours your brother is working now.

"How do you feel about this mentor thing?" You ask out of nowhere. "We start soon."

"I don't know. It'll be weird to be working against you." Rafe replies.

"Don't think of it like that. Besides, what was it you told me, that you have a whole team of them? You probably can just sit back and watch them work." You say, trying to raise his spirits a bit. "That gives us more time to visit."

"I feel like 'visit' is a strong word." Rafe laughs. "Hopefully it'll be more than that." He says, moving over to wrap his arm tightly around your waist, kissing your cheek.

"That would be nice." You agree with a sigh. "I don't know, I just don't know what kind of advice to give. What, find someone you trust? I think we just got lucky."

"You'll be the best mentor." Rafe insists. "I wish I had you."

"I wish we hadn't needed one. I don't want to see kids come through year after year and watch them die. I wish I could make it stop, it all seems so pointless."

"It's about control. They'll never give that up." Rafe shakes his head. "So don't think for a second it's your fault."

"I know... It's just so complicated."

"I'm glad it brought me to you, though."

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Hey!" You're startled by a voice behind you, both of you standing up quickly. "You have to come back." Your brother says, chest heaving from his exertion of running all the way up the hillside.

Rafe relaxes from where he placed himself in front of you at the sound, letting you step in front of him. "What happened?" You ask, seeing the look on his face.

"There's been an announcement." He answers, laboured breathing starting to return to normal. "About the games."

The two of you follow him in silence all the way back, anxiety in both of you spiking after your brother wouldn't answer any more questions. When you walk into the house, you're met with a paused TV, your parents on the couch, and your sister with tear-stained cheeks and reddened eyes. "What happened?" You ask again, hoping to get some answers.

Rafe pulls you close to himself after shutting the front door, leading you into the living room. "Here, um, have a seat, kids." Your mom says, hardly audible as you sit down.

She wipes her eyes as your dad presses play on the television, and it's a rewound clip of the news. Rafe wraps a shaky arm around you on the couch as Caesar Flickerman starts speaking.

"We have a unique announcement today regarding the upcoming, highly anticipated, Seventy-Sixth annual Hunger Games." He starts, and you get tunnel vision as you stare at the screen. "This is a twist no one saw coming on the heels of last year's Quarter-Quell, but President Snow has decided there will be a permanent change in the rules. From now on, any victor remaining under the age of eighteen will once again be eligible for the reaping."

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @lovelyxtommy, @dee127, @r1vrsefx, @gillybear17, @flonkertn, @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles, @thelomlisrafecameron

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hello-nichya-here · 4 months

Note

Hello, whats your opinion on this as a mai fan

I think this person is either misremembering the show or deliberately mischaracterizing what Mai, because what they're claiming she revealed on The Beach is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what she actually said.

She doesn't say "My parents used me as a pawn in their game to get close to royals" or "My parents never wanted me to learn anything about combat." She tells us that her parents will let her do whatever she likes - as long as she BEHAVES. As long as she's invisible. Out of sight, out of mind. They don't care what she does, as long as it doesn't affect them, as long as she's quiet. And that's what she says in an attempt to DOWNPLAY how bad her relationship with them actually is and how it affected her emotionally.

When Mai is complaining that she doesn't like Omashu because there's nothing for her to do, her mom doesn't try to talk to her about activities that could keep her busy/entertained, or show any concern about how she's adapting to moving to a whole new country, to a city where she doesn't know anyone. Instead, she ignores her daughter's attempts to talk about her feelings by reminding her that this is important for her father. There's no attempt to make this situation benefitial for her as well, it's all about how she needs to be grateful that someone else is happy about it.

Yes, when Tom-Tom is "kidnaped", they won't stop panicking, and are overjoyed when he's brought back safely. But there's not a word on them being concerned over Mai's well-being when she's leaving in a potentially dangerous mission. They don't show up to congratulate her at any point after she helps the Fire Nation conquer Ba Sing Se, even though that is a legendary feat. Favoritism much?

In book 3, literally the only adults we see in her home are servants, and considering one needs an airship to go to the island where the boiling rock is, it's pretty safe to say her uncle can't be dropping by too often. They let their 15-year-old daughter live in a different country, without any adult acting as her guardian - that's how much they don't care about her.

And speaking of her uncle, yes, he is doing a good job of being an attentive family member (is aware of her situation with Zuko, immediately lets her out of prison the second he knows he can get away with it) - but using that to claim "Thefore her family life is fine" is absurd because, again, that's her UNCLE, not her parents. By that logic, Zuko shouldn't be complaining about his family either, after all he has Iroh and somehow that is supposed to cancel out being raised by freaking Ozai, riiiiiiight?

And speaking of Zuko, there's a reason why, in a finale where everyone is being reunited with their family and friends, even when the travel time doesn't make any goddamn sense, Mai's happy ending involves a heartwarming reuining with him, and he's delighted to see her - but there's still nothing about her parents. Their daughter was sent to prison for life, then her boyfriend became Fire Lord giving them THE perfect chance to come rescue her, and they STILL are nowhere to be found.

For fuck's sake, AZULA showed more love for Mai than her parents did. Girl was clearly happy to see her again, and even gave her a "hug" that wasn't that touchy because Mai doesn't like it. In "The Lost Adventures" we find out that she was also the one who pushed for her and Zuko to get together (though that also ties into her knowing that was the only way to make Zuko come home despite his guilt over what he did to Iroh). Even on The Beach, she's the one who first connects the dots and realizes that Mai is always so aloof because she's used to being told to shut up when she says something inconvenient.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying her parents had no political ambitions (the Yang comics leaning into that was one of the few good things about his writting). Obviously they were happy that their daughter was best friends with the princess and dating the heir to the throne, and I'm sure Mai didn't appreciate being treated more as asset than as a daughter.

But her complaint was not about that. It was about how her parents are simply not part of her life at all. She's an outsider looking in. She can stand next to them and do as she's told, or she can leave. What she can't do is actually engage with them, mean anything to them, expect anything from them, rely on them at all.

Mai's parents are neglectful to a degree that, in the real world, could potentially have them lose custody of her because she consistently has to turn to literally anyone else instead of them whenever she needs anything.

Is it really any wonder she had a soft-spot for Zuko, aka the boy that is always disregarded by his father, to the point of literally being kicked out of his home, and is actually openly pissed off about it and will let everyone know it?

#asks #mai #mai meta #pro mai #mai defense squad

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lopposting · 9 months

Text

guys.

I think I did it.

I think I cracked Lies of P.

(me rn)

i keep going back and forth on carlo's death.

i know i was adamant before, on him dying from the petrification disease. i think logically he would have to have had it because of ergo.

but here's another weird point about his death,

i just realized why we intrinsically think he was killed.

Carlo is wearing his school uniform when his stalker finds him, and on the floor at that. That's quite odd. Maybe not being on the floor, but the uniform. Why the uniform?

"He didn't even come to your graduation?"

For the son of an aristocratic family, would this be the image of a deathly ill son in care? Did Geppetto know? Wouldn't he be in palliative care, as Lady Antonia could afford?

Why wear the uniform after graduating?

"Oh, she's here! Grab her!"

"...Gemini, get rid of them! I'm off!"

Was his death literally right after his graduation, on the same day?

And also, Gemini is a little lamp guy. (She doesn't look to be carrying the lamp.) Why does she tell him to take care of the boys? What can he even do? Tell them off?

Here's another funny thing... We NEVER see Carlo outside of his school uniform. (at least, in the "past", "real" Carlo time line).

And as we know, the school uniform has a prominent Sailor collar, the type that is associated with nautical outfits [down to the three stripes, supposedly called a "naval collar"]. The Graduation pendant that he gives to Romeo is of an anchor. [I know that these are all artifacts of the charity house. but they are nonetheless associated in tangent with Carlo]

When we find Carlo's painting, it's right next to this one of a ship. [also, two bottles on the counter, perhaps representing the "two lives" of Carlo and Pino]

also... when Carlo's memories materialize... it's in the sand. Only on the seaside.

Remember, Romeo seems to be associated with a fire element, and Pino with water, the same seems to go with Carlo. The original novel of Pinocchio itself seems to have a strange fixation on the ocean.

And now, might I present to you:

The DLC images are also of a ship and some kind of water turbine.

Director Choi (in pre-release interview): "I'll put it this way: there are more stories I want to tell in Lies of P, so I hope [it] does well."

Also: "There sure are stories we could not introduce in the game" (talking about the story being adapted into another form)

[basically, that there was more to the story than what was really present in the final game.] I'll leave all this to your consideration without adding my own just yet. (I'll add it in a reblog on my own blog without tagging it) Just kidding I want to keep wasting everyone's time

Perhaps after the events of the game,

This is some sort of effort by Pino to either learn more about the deceased Carlo or try to remember his "previous life" as Carlo, by taking to the sea.

Maybe even after the game, Pino will STILL attempt to "awaken" as him so to speak [:(].

[Maybe he actually will.]

Again, Carlo is strongly associated with nautical elements. Again, he is never seen outside of a sailor suit, basically. Also, when we gain the memories of Carlo, they materialize on the sand, at the seaside. Remember, he DIED in the sailor outfit

Maybe we are to take the "sand memories" more "literally" as they are in the sand?

Did Carlo drown and his body wash ashore, which is why these memories materialize in the sand? Why is he so associated with ships?

Pino is also depicted in the water, remember, including what looks to be concept art that was used for the OST? Maybe it isn't "just" a motif? [even simple things like his "official" coat and his eyes being blue, blue blood's tailcoat, and him being associated with the colour blue in general]

Which is why Pino is pictured in the water, since he was "born" from Carlo's death... He was birthed in the water the same way Carlo died in it?

[more notes in reblog]

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dazaiandhislovelybandages · 5 months

Note

I see! Sorry about that! I wouldn't have asked for part 2 if I know you don't! Can I request Mammon accidentally confessing to Reader? Like he was so relaxed because he had such a good day that he blurted it out to her?

Pride {Mammon}

A/n: the way tumblr replaced the yellow colour with orange is criminal because I can't colour my title in orange when Mammon's colour is yellow

Pairing: Mammon x fem!reader

Trigger warnings: none

It had taken both you and Mammon a great deal of time to get close to each other. It was chaotic when you finally got used to each other but to Mammon it was also comforting. He didn't want to admit it but it was more comforting than chaotic despite his carefree nature.

And he thought about it a lot when he was alone running errands or relaxing in his bed or even gambling. All he could think about most of the time was how much better whatever he was doing would be if you were there with him. Truth be told, he knew you would save him from a lot of trouble and therefore punishments from Lucifer.

Slowly, as time went by, Mammon's days were divided in two parts: him thinking about you and you being there with him.

Don't get him wrong though, he will still complain whenever you are with him, doing homework, shopping, you name it and he will definitely be complaining. Because Mammon isn't dumb. He knows he can't confess for a miriad of reasons.

For one, you are human; a human who is there for a short amount of time and will eventually most likely leave. Then there's this law the Devildom has: no dating between humans and demons. No one could guarantee that this law hasn't been broken before but Mammon is a Lord, a Sin, he is literally the second most powerful Sin he can't just go around dating a lowly human.

Lucifer would make sure he'd never see the light of his golden credit card ever again.

"Devildom calls to Mammon!" You playfully push him, not hard enough to make him fall off your bed but ard enough to bring him back to reality. "It's your turn."

"Ugh, I can't figure this game out." He throws the UNO cards on your bed and falls back on your pillows.

"Mammon, it's simple, you just need to focus!"

"I can't!" He raises his voice, something the two of you do just for fun.

"Come on!" You whine and throw your cards on top of his before starting to shake him. Mammon is far from phased, he is just looking at you while you're playfully shaking his shoulders.

"You're cute."

"What?" Your expression turns serious but you don't stop shaking him, maybe out of shock.

"What?" He repeats in the same shocked voice as you as the two of you look at each other with wide eyes.

Mammon was in a dilemma. Should he tell you the truth? Tell you this was a mistake?

"Do you mean it?" You gently let go of him and sat on your knees next to him on the bed. There was a slight glimpse of something that looked like hope in your eyes and you were looking down at him and Mammon could swear that he could see a small smile on your lips.

He paused, a light blush staining his cheeks and as soon as he felt the familiar warmth settling on his cheeks, he looked away. "What does the great Mammon gets if he tells ya the truth?" He propped himself on his elbows.

"A kiss on the cheek?" Your reply was cheeky and he knew you were somewhat playing with his feelings because there was no way you would be okay with this. Not when you were so set on always following the rules.

But Mammon couldn't bring himself to lie, even if you were playing with him. "Yeah... you're... cute... I like you." He mumbled, his voice coming out as a whisper.

"Like?" That small smile on your lips grew bigger and Mammon quickly sat up.

"Hey, don't go around being all proud of it."

"But the great Mammon likes me." You teased him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

"Well..." Mammon's puffed out his chest, an odd sense of pride taking over him. "I mean logically speaking you should parade it around, however I will make an exception for you because you're beautiful and all that." You happily cheered and cupped his face between your hands, squeezing his cheeks before planting a big kiss on his lips. "I've more where that came from..."

#obey me mammon x reader #mammon x reader #mammon obey me #mammon obey me x reader #mammon x mc #mammon fluff #mammon x reader fluff #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date mammon x reader #obey me shall we date x reader #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #obey me otome #writing #anime and manga #anime #manga

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lucy90712 · 5 months

Text

English love affair- Fermin Lopez

A/n: yes this is loosely based on the 5sos song I remembered it existed recently and haven't stopped listening to it

Fermin's POV

It's always fun getting to visit a new country especially to play football but I've never known somewhere to be as rainy as England or London specifically. It's done nothing but rain since we landed but still the boys insisted we go out and explore as we have some free time they quickly regretted it when our umbrellas all turned inside out in the wind so we all decided to just go and get some lunch and watch the busy London streets from somewhere dry. The place we ended up in because it was close was actually rather nice and it was quiet too with just a few other table none of which seemed to pay any mind to us which hopefully means they don't know who we are.

Once we were sat down one of the other groups caught my eye it was a group of girls who looked around my age. It wasn't just the girls that caught my eye it was one of them in particular I don't know what it was about her but I couldn't take my eyes off her she isn't my usual type but she is just so strikingly beautiful it's hard not to admire her. As soon as I noticed her I didn't stop staring which I know is creepy but the way she smiled and laughed with her friends was just so mesmerising. Out of all places to meet such a beautiful girl a tiny restaurant in the middle of London is not what I expected but I'm not going to complain.

"Hey are you still with us bro" gavi elbowed me

"Yeah yeah" I replied not looking at him

"What have we been talking about for the last 10 minutes then?" Pedri asked

"The game" I guessed

"You know it's creepy just to stare at that girl right" Joao said

"I'm not staring" I lied finally taking my eyes off her

"You so are" Pedri said

"Has fermin found love at first sight" Gavi teased

"Stop it guys she'll hear you" I whisper yelled at them

"Surely you want her to hear us there's no point just staring at her if you don't say something you'll never see her again" Joao said

His logic was sound I can't lie. There is no point admiring her from afar if I don't say anything I'll never see her again and if she rejects me well then I don't have to face her again which would hopefully make it easier to take. That makes it sound simple but it's not that straightforward I'm not the best at talking to girls I never know what to say like do I just introduce myself do I compliment them it's all so complicated and I never seen to get it right. Of course in this situation there is the added problem of the language barrier I speak English pretty well but I don't know if I know enough to have a conversation with her and sometimes accents complicate things. It's a lot to think about but there isn't really time to think about it as she could leave at any time and I need to have something to say.

For the rest of lunch all the boys kept trying to give me pointers on what to say some of which were serious but most were jokes. They also tried to find her Instagram for me but they were entirely unsuccessful which didn't surprise me as we don't even know her name but they tried nonetheless. While they talked among themselves I noticed that she was finally getting up to leave and as if it was meant to be her friends all left her so I had no reason not to take my chance. I was going to get up and talk to her but the boys pushed me out of my seat before I could get up and told me not to come back until I'd spoken to her. I approached her as she turned to leave her table and we locked eyes for the first time and I nearly froze but I didn't I kept walking towards her.

"Hi I'm Fermin sorry if this is too forward but I thought you were really pretty and wanted to introduce myself" I said

"Thank you Fermin I'm y/n" she said

"I know this seems a lot but I'm only here for a few days so would you want to go and get coffee or something as long as you're free" I said

"That sounds great I have the rest of today off as long as you are available" she said

"Great you might have to guide me on where to go if you couldn't tell I'm not from here" I joked

"I have the perfect place to go" she said

With that we left together and I texted the boys telling them I'll pay them back for my part of the bill later. As we walked wherever she wanted to go we got to know each other a bit more she told me that she was in fact my age and that she's still in university studying psychology but she's on a break which is why she's out with friends during the day. I told her a bit more about myself but I didn't tell her exactly why I was here because I want to get to know her more before I tell her that I play football because that can really change how girls act around me. I'd love to believe that she wouldn't be like that but you never know there's girls I've met before that I thought wouldn't be so obsessed with my career but they were although I do think y/n is different.

She took us down a few backstreets before we reached this cafe which only had two other people in it which was perfect. As soon as we entered the lady running the place came over to ask y/n how her studying had been going and she offered us our drinks on the house but y/n insisted on paying. If I didn't already like her that interaction only confirmed my thought that she was just truly a lovely person and that's something I find really attractive in a girl. We sat in a quiet corner of the cafe and sipped our drinks but mostly we just didn't stop talking. I've never had such a connection with someone before, it sounds like such a cliche but we really got on like a house on fire instantly. She's really just perfect I've never found someone I love everything about from the moment I met them but that's how I feel with y/n, every good quality you would want she has she's kind, patient and not to mention absolutely beautiful.

After finishing our drinks and getting to know each other we both had to leave I'm supposed to eat with the team for dinner and she had to do some studying but luckily her place is on the way to my hotel so we got to walk together. However the walk wasn't very long and before I knew it we had to say goodbye. I didn't want this to be the last time we see each other so I just kind of blurred out that I'm here to play football and invited her to the game. Naturally she had a few questions but I answered them and she agreed to come to the game tomorrow which is how I got her number so I could text her all the details she would need.

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

With my week off from uni I expected to see some friends and just unwind a bit but instead I ended up going out with a guy and not just any guy a Barcelona player who is playing a match in the champions league today and invited me to go. To say I'm nervous would be an understatement, I've never been to a football match before let alone been invited by a player so I have no idea what to expect. All I do know is that I'm really excited to see Fermin again he's such a nice guy and incredibly attractive plus we connected really well so it would've been a shame if we only saw each other once before he had to go back to Barcelona.

Last night I did so much googling to learn as much about football and Fermin's team as possible I don't know how much I retained but I tried my best. Something I definitely did remember was that this was an important match for the team so they will really want to win and I really hope they do because I'd love to see Fermin happy. I also realised that football was a lot more popular than I thought as Barcelona had over 120 million followers on Instagram and Fermin had over 2 million. Knowing how popular Fermin and the team were did make me anxious because I have less than 50 followers and a private account which I'm fine with because I don't like the attention but I think Fermin is worth the possible complete change in my life.

Time went by so quickly today before I knew it I was supposed to be getting ready to leave which meant deciding what to wear. The obvious choice would be a Barcelona shirt but I don't own one so I can't do that instead I just put on some blue jeans and a red top so I was close enough to wearing the Barcelona colours. I did some simple makeup and did my hair but that was all I had time for as I had to get to the stadium and find my seat before the start of the match.

Getting to the stadium actually wasn't too bad but I got so lost trying to find my seat as Fermin didn't get me just any ticket he got me a vip ticket which meant I had a really good seat but it was hard to find the right entrance. Once I found my seat I was offered drinks and all sorts of other things but I just wanted to sit there as I was feeling really nervous all of a sudden. Everyone else in the vip section was very clearly either important people or wives/girlfriends of the players which made me feel a little out of place. Everyone had designer clothes on their hair done all nicely and perfect makeup and there I was in clothes I've owned for years with barely anything done to my appearance. Most of them were also speaking Spanish which I have a basic understanding of but I couldn't make out a word they were saying so I just kept to myself.

The match was very intense which I think was made worse for me because I didn't really know what was going on but it ended up in a Barcelona win which really made me happy. All of the players celebrated in front of the fans before finally leaving the pitch which was my cue to find my way down to the locker room as Fermin told me to meet him down there after the game. I saw some of the other girls from my section of seats heading a certain way so I just followed them and luckily they were going the right way and I found where I needed to be. I text Fermin to tell him I was there whenever he was ready but seconds after I sent the text he was coming out the door with the biggest smile on his face which made me smile even more. He ran straight over to me and gave me a hug clearly still high on adrenaline but it loved it. As he pulled away he gave me a kiss on the cheek which made me blush so hard I probably looked like a clown.

"Congrats you guys were so good out there" I said

"Thank you did you enjoy the game?" He asked

"Yeah it was a bit confusing but the atmosphere was amazing" I answered honestly

"That just means I'll have to see you again and explain the rules" he smirked

"I might need more than one lesson the offside rule seems a bit confusing" I joked

"I wish I could spend more time with you but we leave tomorrow morning" he said

"But if it's ok with you I'd love to walk you home so we can spend more time together" he added

"I'd really like that" I said

He had to go back to the team for a bit but he gave me a water bottle and an apple incase I was hungry which made me laugh but I appreciated him caring so much about me. He wasn't gone that long but when he came back a few of his teammates followed him so he introduced me to them quickly as they wanted to meet me. They were all so sweet that it actually made me even more sad that they were all leaving and this little fling or whatever it is I have with Fermin will be over. We are lucky to have a bit more time together even if it is just the walk back to my place I will take all the time I can get.

Fermin took my hand and we walked back to my place together very slowly so we could have more time together. As we walked it became darker and colder outside until it started to rain which is very typically England it always rains at the worst times. I did bring an umbrella but that lasted less than a minute in the wind so we were getting soaked but I didn't care at all I'd stand out here forever if I was with Fermin. He seemed to feel the same as neither of us walked any quicker we just accepted the fact that we were going to get wet and it was worth it. Eventually we made to right outside my apartment building and it was time for us to say our final goodbyes and I can't lie I felt tears in my eyes. It feels somewhat stupid to be so attached to someone I just met but we just had an instant connection and I don't want to let it go just yet.

"I can't believe how much I don't want to leave you right now" Fermin said

"I really don't want you to leave either" I said

"I know we are both busy but promise me that we will try and keep in contact and if it doesn't work then it doesn't work but I can't let you go like this" Fermin said

"I promise I'm not going to give up on this" I said

"Can I kiss you?" he asked

All I did was nod which was enough for Fermin as he leant in and pressed his lips to mine. We were both freezing from the rain but I felt so much warmer when his lips met mine which told me that our connection as new as it is is very real. I've never felt like this when kissing anyone before let alone a first kiss which I think is the universes way of telling me that I've met someone special and to not give up on this without a fight. We kissed for a bit longer before we both pulled away and just stared at each other with our foreheads connected until we couldn't just stand there anymore. Fermin gave me one last kiss and promised he'd text me tomorrow before leaving to head back to his hotel leaving me to go inside and come to terms with all of the millions of feelings I had running through me.

~~~~~~~~~~

2 years later

Just last week I submitted my dissertation and finished my degree it has been a hard few years but I'm proud of myself for doing it. The big changes in my life don't end there though as not only have I put a big part of my life behind me but I'm moving to a completely new country. Fermin and I have been together for nearly 2 years now and today is the day I finally move in with him in his place in Barcelona. The road to get here has been long but it all feels worth it Nke that I'm going to get to see him in person everyday not over the phone.

Our relationship hasn't been normal in any way in fact our first date was over FaceTime and we started dating before we even had our first kiss as he asked me to be his girlfriend over FaceTime too. There has been lots of ups and downs and there has been times we have nearly broken up as we were so stressed with other things which affected our relationship but we made it. It feels like the hard part of our relationship is over and from now on I feel like it will be plain sailing. We have always had a special connection from the second we met but that really comes alive when we get to be together in person so getting to live together and be there for each other everyday is going to be so amazing.

As much as I love Fermin with my whole heart deciding to move to Barcelona wasn't an easy decision. My whole life has always been in England like my friends and my family and I wasn't sure if I was ready to let go of all that and completely start my new life. Fermin was so supportive as well as I made my decision he told me if I needed to move back home for a bit longer to find myself outside of education then he would support that. Ultimately I decided that it was time for me to take the leap and discover who I am with him as I want him to always be part of my life so we decided we'd move in together which it some might seem risky but we know each other so well that neither of us thought it would be a problem.

Preparing to move has been quite stressful as I've been shipping my things to Fermin so that I only have to bring some things with me on the plane but now I'm ready to go all I feel is excitement. Sitting on the plane sending my last text to Fermin before I land and we get to be together forever felt amazing but strange at the same time the long distance chapter of our relationship is finally coming to an end. The entirety of the flight all I thought about was all the things we can finally do now that we get to spend more time together like we can go on weekend trips if he has time off or spontaneous midweek dates and even just the things regular couples do together.

Coming through the doors into the arrivals area Fermin was waiting there for me, he spotted me in seconds and we just ran towards each other. His arms wrapped around my waist as he engulfed me in the tightest hug I've ever experienced he held me so tight that he lifted my feet off the floor which he took to his advantage and spun me round. Once he finally put me down his lips were attached to mine almost instantly and we shared what I think was the best kiss we've ever had.

"I'm so glad you're finally here and our lives together can finally begin" he said

"I can't wait to see what the future holds" I said

#fermin lopez x reader #fermin lopez imagine #fermin x reader #football imagine

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