#NOW JUST TO MAKE SOME EDITS AND POST IN OCTOBER….

[cloudsmachinations]

submitted my first draft for the ygobigbang!!!!!

[petalpatches]

I wanted to change my wallpaper for Oct 3rd, but I wasn’t really finding what I was looking for online, so I just edited a few for myself & thought I would share with you guys! 😘 image ID in alt text like always ✨

[niennanir]

Listen to your elders

So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.

So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.

But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?

In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.

Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download

Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title: 

No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.

Now you’re going to need some materials:  8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife

You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.

Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:

use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.

Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.

Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.

You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.

Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour

In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock

Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)

Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.

Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine

Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.

Voila:

I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.

The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.

If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders. 

[autolenaphilia]

I talked about the problem of Windows system requirements being too damn high before, and how the windows 10 to 11 jump is especially bad. Like the end of Windows 10 is coming october 2025, and it will be a massive problem. And this article gives us some concrete numbers for how many computers that can't update from win10 to 11.

And it's 240 million. damn. “If these were all folded laptops, stacked one on top of another, they would make a pile 600 km taller than the moon.” the tech analysis company quoted in the article explains.

So many functioning computers that will be wasted. And it's all because people don't wanna switch to a Linux distro with sane system requirements and instead buy a new computer.

Like if you own one of these 240 million windows 10 computers, Just be an environmentally responsible non-wasteful person and switch that computer to Linux instead of just scrapping it because Microsoft says it's not good enough.

Edit: as have been pointed out multiple times in the replies. It's really not "all because people don't wanna switch to a linux distro." It's really Microsoft's fault for this form of planned obsolescence.

My original post was lacking in perspective at best. And of course, people who use computers for work are often made reliant on Windows by their job and employers and can't switch. Or lack time, resources, and information to make the switch. Which is also due to systemic issues, such as lack of education, and the culture of obfuscation about tech that tech companies create.

Edit 2: Making this unrebloggable: now I really know what reddit mods mean when they say "the discussion has run its course" Like there is absolutely no conversation anymore, just repeating of points already made and responded to, just endless repetition

To quote @mlembug

Source

If you can spend 5-10 minutes writing a reblog clowning on somebody, but you can't:

spend 10s to do a basic courtesy of checking the appropriate pronoun of the person involved

spend 30s checking the reblogs of a post to see if someone also decided to clown on the same person

spend 10s to click on OP's post to see if it was edited in the meantime (and guess what: the edits in OP's post does indeed blame Microsoft for planned obsolescence, which you decided to blame her for not doing in one of your reblogs)

THEN YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING A REBLOG. EVER.

[inlovewithpandora]

ᥫ᭡ — Cut The Cameras

Artists — Hobie Brown x fem!influencer!reader

Lyrics — While you're filming a video for your YouTube channel Hobie walks in your studio and sees you in some revealing attire. When he sees your ass spilling out your shorts all he wants to do is bend you over and fill you up.

Genre — Oneshot

Music Advisory — lighty Halloween themed, subtle fluff, smut, porn w/ plot, afab!reader, p in v (unprotected), overstimulation, mention of creaming/squirting, implied handcuff usage, imagined as black!reader but you can always imagine reader differently

Duration — 1.1k words

Words from Artist — This is my first Hobie smut post so I’m excited to share it with y’all! I wrote this around October but I didn’t post it due to my hiatus so I’m posting it now. Always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading y’all reactions! I hope you enjoy!!

Current Platforms — main m.list・atsv taglist・navigation

You stand in front of the mirror making sure your outfit, makeup, and hair are up to your standards before turning on your camera. The intro card begins to play and once it finishes, a smile spreads across your lips and you say your opening line. “Hey, guys! Today, I’m finally doing a Halloween costume haul since a lot of you requested it. I ordered ten costumes from Fashion Nova and I’ll link everything in the description so you can purchase them. Now let’s get into the video!”

—

You’ve been filming for almost thirty minutes and have shown four different costumes. Once you change into something new you turn the camera back on. “This is the next one.” You turn in a circle, showing off your costume that’s the scandalous version of inmate attire. “I really like this costume, I think it’s snug in all the right places and I love how the color orange looks on me.” As you continue talking to the camera about the costume, showing them the silver handcuffs that came as an accessory, you hear the door to your video room open, making you turn your head to see who is coming in, even though you have a feeling who it is.

Hobie walks in with a confused expression, wondering why you were standing in front of the camera wearing clothing that accentuated parts of your body he didn’t want the world to see. “Hey, baby!” You come over, grab his hand and pull him into the camera’s view. “I’m glad you’re here because I’m making a video for Halloween costumes and I want your opinion.”

You spin around so he can get a full view and just from that small moment, he can see the slight jiggle of your ass that’s spilling out your shorts and your breast moving upward before resting in their normal position. “It looks amazin’.” He walks right behind you, resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. “You look so sexy in this.” He mumbles before starting to nibble on your earlobe.

You can feel him flush against you, pressing his growing bulge into the swell of your ass. By the huskiness of his tone and by his actions you can tell what is on his mind. “Hobie, I can’t right now. I have to finish this video.” You tell him while grabbing his arms, trying to free yourself from his hold. You’re determined to get this video finished today because you want to have it edited and uploaded by the end of the week, especially since you haven’t been posting lately due to your busy schedule.

Hobie grumbles at your words and tightens his grip on your waist so you don’t have the ability to escape his firm hold. “We can make a video of our own if you like.” You can practically hear the smirk on his lips as he hints to creating a porno. His hands begin to travel to his favorite part of your body, your beautiful cunt. By gliding his hand down your stomach, he finally reaches your pussy and once he does he cups it, rubbing his fingers across the clothed area. “C’mon, love, I know you want this too. Let me give it to you.” Hobie knows that you weren’t going to give in, that’s why he’s resorting to one of your weaknesses. He turns his head a little and begins to plant kisses on your neck, swirling the tip of his wet tongue on your skin while lightly sucking, creating the first of many hickeys.

“I-Okay, Hobie, y-you win.” Your voice is soft and quiet with a hint of a quiver, feeling your heart pounding inside your chest from the sensation of Hobie’s current attack on your neck. You know that his advances would only increase and that he isn’t afraid to strip you and bend you over with the camera rolling, so you decide to give in and let him have his way. You reach out in front of you and click the power button and once you see it completely shut off, you turn to Hobie with a small smile across your lips. “I’m all yours.” Your voice holds much enthusiasm and lust as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, and before you know it your legs are wrapped around his waist as he carries you to your shared bedroom.

—

“Hobie, s-slow down! It's too much!” You cry out, feeling his mushroom tip pounding against your cervix while keeping his hand tight on your hips. Hobie is brutally attacking your cunt, slamming his pelvis against your ass, making sure you are receiving every inch of his lengthy dick. Everything is becoming too much since you have come multiple times before this round, so your pussy is far past overstimulated.

Hobie knows that he’s pushing you past your limits, but he has faith that his baby can take it. “I know, baby, but this is the last one. You can cum one more time for me, can’t you?” He coos as he runs his hand down your spine, pushing your back into a deeper arch which allows him to hit new angles of your g-spot. Now, since you’re in a new position, he is hitting the spongy part of your walls, causing your legs to tremble underneath him, a sign that you are close to achieving your next orgasm. “Atta, girl, I knew you could do it f’me. Cream on this dick.” Hobie encourages you with a hard smack on your ass, making your body shudder from the impact.

“Oh, shit!” Your next sentences are jumbled together as your brain short-circuits so the best words you can vocalize are profanities besides your boyfriend's name that all come out in moans. Your cunt begins to clench around his shaft and soon after you come, your cream begins to coat his dick, and your juices squirt onto his abdomen. Hearing the lewd noises coming from your lips, and the squelching sounds coming from your wetness cause Hobie to release his warm seed into your empty womb.

Hobie gives you a few more long thrusts, making sure his semen has reached your uterus before he pulls out. When he withdraws his length from your warmth and lets go of your hips, your body goes limp and falls onto the bed, not having enough strength to do anything else but relax. Hobie can’t help but chuckle at how fucked out you are, but in his defense, he just couldn’t hold back, not when you looked so sexy and desirable in your Halloween costume.

When you finally can muster up some energy, you turn over and are met with Hobie's brown eyes staring down at you with a smirk on his lips, already thinking about fucking you again even though he promised this was the last time. “One more round, baby and this time we’re using the handcuffs.”

Previous Song

Editor — @justmemyselfandthemoon

Fanbase — @inspace1 @phoenixx69 @savagemickey03 @cxsmiclore @soilmayo @liyahsocorro @baizzhu @solanawrld @onlyloaksgf @popeheywardssecretgf @number1gal @taylormarieee @toneystank-3000 @h3art-l3ss @mellagzz @em-x0 @3zae-zae3 @beargracecanbeanyone @miguellover6969 @strawberryclouds22 @ban-al3x @kxllanxtdoor @lorarri @maxlynn17 @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap @miunmoxo @d0ubl-tr0ubl3 @tater-tot0423

[sturn1olo-ffics]

- VIOLET -

- Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

- Warnings: making out, pining, profanity, use of y/n; NOT PROOFREAD

- About: Reader has a huge crush on Matt but figures the feelings weren’t mutual due to a caption of his on Instagram. That is, until he shows up to her apartment and those thoughts are turned around.

—————————————————————————————

(Y/N’s POV):

I’ve liked Matt for as long as I can remember. And the only person who knows that is Nick. Partially because I told him and partially because he could tell. I mean everyone could tell, right? There were edits of us all over social media shipping us… he had to have known… right?

Wrong.

Matt was the most oblivious person I have ever met in my entire life. You could outright tell him you love him and he still wouldn’t pick up that you have a crush on him.

Matt was my best friend and we told each other everything. Well maybe not everything since I still hadn’t told him about my crush on him.

It was a chilly Friday night in October and I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I come across a post from a super gorgeous girl that Matt follows with the caption: “The after party”

I didn’t think too much about it, it was just a normal Instagram post. That is, until I came across Matt’s recent post with the caption: “Was on Wilson and 73rd”

The Color Violet by Tory Lanez. One of my favorite songs. Why was he matching captions with this gorgeous girl on Instagram?? Why didn’t he tell me he was talking to someone?? My heart sank into the floor.

“Nick-” I called him, tears slipping out of my eyes on the other side of the phone.

“Hey y/n- what’s wrong??” He could tell by my voice that I was upset.

“Can you just come over?” I replied quickly.

“Let me ask Matt if he can take me. I’ll text you babe.” He ended the call.

I winced a little when Matt’s name left his mouth. Why was I hurting this much? Was this just a crush or something more?

(NICK’s POV):

“Matt! Can you take me to y/n’s house right now? She seems upset and wants me to come over.” I asked Matt.

“Is she okay?? What’s wrong?? What’s going on??” Matt threw way too many questions on me all at once.

“Why the fuck are you questioning so much? With the amount of care you have for her you’d think you were like in love with her or some shit.” I joked.

“Shut the fuck up Nick.” He snapped.

“Woah- Mattitude. You don’t have to get mad, it’s not like you like her or anything.” I stepped back before he could shove me.

“I-” Matt started, but everything clicked in my head.

“WOAHHH WAITTTT DO YOU LIKE HER?” I excitedly raised my voice.

“NICK SHUT UP BRO HOLY FUCK” Matt screamed at me.

“You should tell her.” I giggled.

“Tell her what?” Matt questioned.

“That you like her? What else dumb fuck?” I started grabbing my things.

“Nick it’s not like that- okay maybe it is a little bit but I’m not telling her. Go get in the car.” Matt replied.

I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the car before me and Matt got in and drove to y/n’s.

(Y/N’s POV):

I heard a car pull up and immediately knew it was Nick.

“The front door’s unlocked.” I text him.

After seeing Matt pull off, I hear Nick make his way up the stairs and down the hall to my room.

“What’s wrong? You good?” Nick questioned upon entering my room.

“Dude I literally just saw Matt have a matching Instagram caption with this really really pretty girl and I’m having an anxiety attack which I don’t even know why because it’s not like he even would like me back anyway-” Nick cut me off before I could continue.

“Ok first, breathe exercise, remember? Second, what?” Nick asked, obviously concerned.

I showed him the posts.

“Y/n, babe, her post was an entire day after his was posted. He doesn’t even know her in real life. She probably just copied his caption to make it look like that.” He laughed.

The weight on my chest instantly lifted.

“There is no way I got that worked up over a misunderstanding.” I laughed along with him.

“Also, what makes you think Matt doesn’t like you?” He started interrogating me.

“Girl be for real.” I ran my hands through my hair.

“I am being for real.” He stated.

“He just wouldn’t, I know.” I laughed.

The conversation soon drifted to what our Halloween plans were and what we should do for a Thanksgiving video, ending with Nick leaving my apartment when Laura came to pick him up for a meeting.

That conversation with Nick honestly made me feel relieved, even though it didn’t get rid of my crush on Matt, which I wish would’ve happened.

I had just finished dinner, turned the LED lights in my apartment to a violet color, and pressed play on a Halloween movie when I heard a knock at my door.

“Hey” Matt said breathlessly as I opened the door.

“Matt?” I was so confused.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course. It’s chilly out there.” I giggled.

We sat down on the couch before continuing the conversation.

“Y/n I’m gonna get straight to the point. I love you. It’s you. It’s always been you. It always will be. And I know you don’t feel the same but-” I didn’t even let him finished before I spoke.

“Can I kiss you?” The words fell out of my mouth and I was almost embarrassed.

“Please.” Matt responded with a deep breath.

The kiss was passionate and hungry, like we had been parted for years.

His hands made their way to my waist, guiding me closer to him, while my hands roamed his hair.

Breaking away from the kiss, I responded: “I love you too” before tilting my head and deepening it.

After a few minutes, we pulled away and leaned back on the couch.

“Please be my girlfriend.” He begged.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I responded, smiling.

“Wow these purple lights are a really good touch in your apartment.” He laughed.

“Bro I know they’re so cool.” I giggled along with him.

I think I’m gonna keep my LED lights on violet more often.

—————————————————————————————

A/N: On a real note guys I’m so tired so I’m sorry if that was ass. Anyway, thought I’d feed y’all another fic. Peace and love 😗

[tomorrowillbeyou]

Thursday 2005 demos

These are some early demos for A City by the Light Divided which were stolen from the band and leaked in September 2005. I haven't seen anyone post about them so I thought I would myself. Below are lyrics and some extra context. I have tried to transcribe the lyrics as best I can but I have pretty bad auditory processing disorder so there will inevitably be some errors. If you spot a mistake, let me know and I will edit the post. The formatting and details of the lyrics are mostly based on the CD booklet.

Blog post

After the demos were leaked, Geoff made this blog post on the Thursday website on September 21 2005:

1 - At This Velocity - Lyrics

Hey friends-

SO… we see that the early demos we did for the record have FINALLY leaked. In this day and age anything and everything that passes through a computer eventually ends up being available to everyone at the click of a button. Many of you know that Thursday is one of the few bands that actually supports file sharing!!! We love the fact that music is available to everyone whenever they need it. We have always told our friends and 'fans' that they should download any of our albums that they can't afford or can't find in stores.

These demos, however, weren't ready for anyone to hear. These songs have all changed substantially since those demos and will probably change between now and the recording. Just to help you guys understand these demos, here's a user's guide: 1. most of these songs don't have names because the lyrics are still being written… a song only really becomes a song for us when we figure out EXACTLY what it's about. 2. One of these songs is actually the reincarnated out-take of a song that we cut from war all the time. 3. Andrew had just joined the band as a full fledged member when we recorded these and his keyboard parts were still sketchy at best. 4. There is one song, however, that is much closer to finished than the other's. It's called "At This Velocity" and it's about a crash landing in an airplane on the other side of the world. This song was started when we were in Australia on tour with the Flaming Lips, the Mars Volta and Poison the Well. The first line of the song is, "We were safe, Now we're paralyzed, Suspended in flight…" We hope you enjoy it.

On a related and timely note, we are very excited to announce that we will be heading into the studio with Dave Fridmann at the beginning of October to start on our new album. His work with the Flaming Lips, Weezer, Mogwai and Sleater Kinney has produced some of the finest albums of the last ten years. Dave is one of the few modern producers really pushing the medium and he's one of the nicest guys in the business. We started preproduction on the sixteen songs we've written. In the short amount of time we've been working with Dave he's already pushing us to new musical and emotional ground.

Anyway, thank you all for the love that you have always shown us. These demos aren't really a good indication so try not to listen to them too much (we don't want you to get used to them this way!!!). We're just happy that all the really great stuff on this album is still a secret!!!

Keep checking the website for updates and tidbits.

thanks and love,

Geoff (and all the Thursday boys)

We were safe

Now we're paralyzed

Suspended in flight

At this speed it makes no difference

Where I start and where you end

Or if you sit in an emergency aisle.

We could be dead

Complete the equation:

Our names are X and N

We have no value

In these calculations:

We're placed on a plane,

Pointed straight down,

Traveling at five hundred feet per second,

Five thousand feet from the ground -- how long will it take us to hit?

How fast will we start the disintegration?

No time left - just keep moving

No time left - just keep moving

How fast will it take us to hit?

How long till we start the disintegration?

2 - Telegraph Avenue Kiss - Lyrics

We could be safe here, forever,

Floating in the clean blue air.

Somewhere between the sun that gives us light and the ground that puts it out.

And we'll kneel in the aisles

Press our hands together, close our eyes, speak these words so softly into the black box

And it goes:

"Mother, father, can you hear this?

I want to thank you for all the sweetness.

I'm not coming home, we're never coming home."

She's the song that you tried to sing

And the note that you couldn't hit

So you locked her up in a music box

Turned the key on all of us

She spins silver strings in the dark

With metal teeth that ring in her heart

When the cover drops

The world just fades away, away, away

From her, waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

A book of matches and a cigarette

A love note that you never sent

You can fold it up but you won't forget

You can strike a match but it still might not light

Now I'm the one that's stuck inside the silver cage,

The bird that can't fly away, clip its wings if it sings

Of the way, the way, the way that it hurt

Waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

Doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

The music box is open

It's spinning with the room

If you're the record playing, I'm the needle in the groove.

Listen to our song:

You're in my heart,

In my hands

In my lungs.

3 - The Other Side of the Crash / Over and Out (Of Control) - Lyrics

We move like a carousel

Streak lights and mirrors in our eyes

It's time to let this go

Can't stop spinning

Around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around

You know our love's not unconditional

Unconditional

Unconditional

You know our love's not unconditional.

Note: This contains a section from Panic On The Streets Of Health Care City, the "reincarnated out-take" mentioned in the blog post. Panic later appeared on Kill The House Lights.

The lights go down, outside (before our cars collide)

The city silhouettes itself (in forty shades of fire)

Do you know where these lies are leading? I'll meet you there.

I'm covering up my eyes

Before they cover up your eyes

And wrap your body all in white,

And we awake in the light of all the lies

This can't be happening

These sirens are for me, yeah

We wake up

Covered in the marks of all these razors

Racing up our veins

We'll live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe again

From the razor's edge.

And the hospital ward sleeps

Through the surgery

Hiding needles in the drawer

(for emergency)

While upstairs they sleep

In maternity

Fever and the pitch.

It's a brand new day,

Just to be awake,

This is how it feels

To live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe away

From the razor's edge.

4 - Autumn Leaves Revisited - Lyrics

The I.V. drips, the days drag on

The anesthetic's not wearing off

Adjust the light switch in the hall

Someone has left it on,

And maybe the x-ray screen keeps it from getting dark

The bulb burns out when it gets too hot

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

I can't keep crashing this car

Still it spins out of control

So hold me close or I might disappear this time

Out of control

We fight currents in the water

When we can't let go of the shore.

We've lost control.

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all go home

It won't be long

It won't be long

I live with a girl who’s been waiting

Seven months left till they bring home the baby

He swore he was paying for school

They shipped him over. Now he scatters on the front lines

He swore he would follow his conscience

But done the wrong way follows his orders instead.

When he shoots, he sings this song

But he doesn’t know that she’s been singing it, too.

It won't be long

It won't be long

Until they find a way home

We walk along the wire tied between horizons

You close your eyes like it's nothing at all

Throughout the rise and fall, everything, everything

Changes, I will be here when you die

Did you hear the trumpets play the day your father died?

Did the violins swell those circles under your eyes?

Did you play the part straight like a march?

Or get lost in the beat, thinking and feeling…

Did the drums in the streets make the people dance?

Or fall to their knees from the sound?

Knock the leaves from the trees,

and they fell from the branch?

They looked beautiful

As they hung in the air

Spinning around

Did you float in the air?

Spinning around?

There must be somewhere that cigarettes burn through the night

And the leaves don't abandon their trees to the light

Where the sky's always clear and the summer never ends…

Won't you take me there?

5 - Untitled - Lyrics

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all are going home

Note - this didn't end up on ACBTLD, but did make it onto Common Existence as Last Call.

The center cannot hold, the side collapses

Full of broken words, sing the song inside the dark arcade

Color me in city greens

The streets unwinding, spitting flames

Cars around the arteries

We scream and swerve and fall apart.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

I'll save us from the sky until a feeling burns, you try

It plants a seed of fire that flowers in the corner of your eye

Circular breathing

We'll keep them always moving

Heart attack efficiency,

Erase the figure as it falls.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

Everything is falling apart.

The wedding starts

The guests appear

The church bells ringing endlessly

The bride and groom are hand in hand

And everything goes as it's planned:

The parents smile,

The priest chokes up,

The organ plays "Amazing Grace"

And underneath the thin white veil

And the people sing:

La la la la, da da da…

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

[r0-boat]

If Honkai star rail men had GWA accouts. Part 1?

Nsfw

Read Part 2 here

Cw: predator and prey, noncon, mentions of blood, breeding, creampie, pet play, power play, size kink

Gn! Reader x Caelus, Sampo, Blade, Jing Yuan

Caelus

Caelus literally posts whatever he wants. However, primarily ramble-faps, where his listeners can listen to how vocal he becomes when his hand is around his wet, leaking cock. His whimper is moans and pleads to be inside you all for you to hear

But no matter if it's a shit post meant to make you laugh or something serious, his audio will always have some sort of storyline.

Usually his predator&prey/noncon are his most popular for good reason, too; Caelus who makes it sound like he's tossing you around, growling and grunting in your ear while he pins you down onto the ground. His breath shakes as he tries to inhale more air and your scent, all the while using all of his strength to keep you from moving or getting away from him, his mouth drooling from the thought of taking you right here and now. And he will tell you this, coo about how you're so small and weak underneath him. He has caught you, and now you should rightfully submit to him.

Caelus is a switch, and he is not afraid to show every dark desire he has on his account. Sometimes a guy just wants to wear pretty makeup and then get fucked to the point where that makeup smears all over his face; or whimper for his master to let him cum.

Pet names for listener

Babe/baby

Darling

Sampo

Whimpering audios. Just kidding, if you want those, you'll have to pay him ;). Most, if not all, of his audio is where he spends weeks or months writing a script and making it are all paywalled, and he takes great pride in his work. ( though he hopes to God no one recognizes him in public)

First had the idea of prostituting his sexy voice for free money now he's far too deep and actually will get upset if you say his work is garbage. Excuse you his audios are a work of art he's already in A+ actor he doesn't need your criticism.

Sampo is very pan so of course, he's going to make audio pandering to his fellow Pansexuals. It can make his tone and Pitch higher to match up more feminine voice, so a lot of his threesome audios are just himself role-playing with himself.

As a good salesman mixed with the audience's wants, and if his audience wants to be called a good boy, girl, or toy, then who is he to refuse? Most of his audio has some form of praise kink. He just can't help but say nothing but nice things to his beloved fans. His most popular audios, however, are the ones where he either objectifies himself or objectifies the listener treating them as a prized possession or a slutty fuck toy.

Pet names for listener

Babe/baby

Beautiful/handsome

Doll

Blade

all his audios are dead dove or very dark. He treats his poor listeners like nothing more than a piece of meat for him to tear apart. His audios are seriously not for the faint of heart especially those who are more squeamish too pain or mentions of blood.

His audios are just a way for him to get off, so he hardly ever edits and pretty much only does the scripts he likes from other people. Though it would be lying if Blade said he didn't like all the attention he'd been getting, so he gets a new mic, a better one, so it could pick up the sounds of his wet cock when he strokes it.

His favorite scripts to do is yandere, noncon or any type of Slashers; Blade is most active during the fall mostly October when those type of content is more likely produced. If his audience isn't scared and aroused the same time then he's not doing a good job... he usually is not one to collab, but Jing Yuan asked(begged him) to collab and the script he sent was so delicious that he just had to show up.

In any audio he does he likes to be mean and degrade and use your body, even if he does softer audios where he's more gentle and loving he still likes to be on the snarky side he can't spoil you all rotten now can he?

Pet names for listener

Whore

Bitch

Fuck doll

Cocksleeve.

Jing Yuan

Says he does it as a hobby but has not only the best Mic but has that Mic where his voice will be on either side of you. He loves the praise he gets from his adoring fans, that seems to Hell and back over his sexy voice. Even though he only does the audios he wants to hear his fans will eat it up like it's breakfast lunch and dinner.

He almost exclusively does Scripts and occasionally ramblefaps. However, when something you know is on his mind and he's so horny he can't think, and the scripts he finds just aren't scratching that itch, he'll do it himself.

He prefers audio is where he is in a position of power over the listener he loves power play with a bit of size kink. Most of his audio has breeding or creampie. Talking about how his big cock is stretching you out and that he's close to cumming inside you gets him off so much.

However his most favorite is one of a pet play kink where he lends his dear pet to Blade but not before teaching him how to take care of you properly and how you need love, care, and praise. However blade rolling his eyes just tells him that he is spoiling you and proceeds to destroy your holes with his fat cock and degrade you while Jing Yuan watches, slowly stroking himself.

Pet nemes

Pet

Dear

Beloved

Sweetheart

[cleolinda]

The happenings, Tumblr edition

Obviously I am not happy about the prospect of Tumblr going into sunset "guess we'll just let it die" mode (or possibly "Let's sell it to fuck knows who!!"), if that is indeed what is happening. My clinical anxiety needs a lot of things. This is not one of them.

I've been using Tumblr as my primary hangout for pretty much exactly a year now. I am tired of watching platforms enshittify and crumble. Why does this keep happening to us. I am weary.

At the same time, yeah, Twitter is dogshit now, but a year after it got taken over, it is there still. There were some problems on Reddit, but it's thoroughly still there. There was time to figure out some migration for all the good it did.

I worked on essay-type posts and recaps all this year to figure out approximately how many spoons I have and how much I can expect to post a month, before I actually got the Patreon running in October. A solid 1-2 Long Posts a month, it seems like, and maybe more frequently if I do shorter posts. And Tumblr has great opportunities to just keep reblogging and sharing things, sometimes adding comments, so I feel like I'm active even when I'm stuck trying to finish a post of my own.

So now, fuck me, I guess

So I have the Patreon as a way to say, hey, I'm here no matter what else happens, sign up for the ~*free*~ weekend linkspam/check-in, here's what I posted wherever this week, I'll put up some early or extra stuff if you'd like to upgrade to a fancy tier someday. It is truly most important to me for people to just know where I am; you don't have to commit to the $1 or $5 tiers.

But I also want a way to post my writing publicly, so people can, you know, see it. So I'm gonna start mirroring my own longer posts on Dreamwidth, I guess. That's the place I know to go back to.

Hopefully Dreamwidth does not go also down in flames!!!!

I've started archiving some of my work (also from LJ and Twitter) as PDFs in Dropbox. Mostly as a safeguard for myself, but I'll make it a public link on the Patreon.

I would really like to keep up with where people are going, what sites people are going to try to migrate to next, and I'll pass that info on as I get it.

All that said, I think most of us will stay on Tumblr as long as we can, if only for the very unique shoot-the-shit culture it has. Like, people aren't leaving it so much as preparing for the future.

[melancholy-of-nadia]

love u lately (m) #9 | myg/knj/pjm

title: love u lately​ chapter title: #9 - pour up pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: welcome to your "fuck it" era. you ran away and haven't returned back to the house since the fight with yoongi and jimin. you're not sure how namjoon hasn't caught on to anything yet... but now taehyung, hoseok, and jungkook just invited you to go out to party at some random frat not at your campus and get you to destress from the drama. oh you're going to destress alright. pour up a drink and well, you might... regret... this decision... warnings:  ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER, flashback pov, angsty, stressful, alcohol consumption, dance battle, FIGHTING, multiple fights?, blood mention, crying, THE TRUTH, AND MORE CONFESSIONS, txt appearance, sakura appearance, soyoon and john eun and san appearance, jin lowkey snitching, ANGRY NAMJOON, soft namjoon, throwing up, kissing, SMUT, creampie, fingering, no other smut warnings it's a surprise but its very tame no worries, reader is on BC, good end?, EXTRA POV at the end, a lot happens i can't remember hehehe maybe i am drunk too note: again pls send love to @daegudrama who is in charge of editing these terrible chapter total word count: 14.3k drop date:  April 12th, 2024, 6:00PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #8 | Series Masterlist | #10

March 1st [Friday]

It’s been 2 weeks.

2 weeks since the fight.

2 weeks since you have last been “home”.

That’s not to say you haven’t taken a shower or changed out of your clothes since then. God, no.

You’ve been staying in Hwasa’s dorm ever since. Her roommate went on an immersion program abroad, so she has no roommate for this semester. Luckily, you’ve had access to her dorm’s shared bathroom to freshen up and her roommates' baron bed.

As for clothes and other stuff, Jungkook has been bringing you everything you need. He’s the only one you can rely on from the house as you’ve always been the most comfortable around him outside of Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. He’s also the one who knew about the deal and didn’t tell anyone, aside from blabbering to Jimin back in October. 

You’re not 100% sure what the aftermath was like in that house after you left. But one thing for sure is that the other guys—not involved in the deal—have covered up things to Joon about your disappearance. They know how rocky things are, and if Namjoon knew all of this, you think it could make things a million times worse. You appreciate them stepping in like that though, no matter what they think of the situation.

Jungkook did attempt to recap it all through text, rather thoroughly.

+++++++++++

 — past —

February 15th [Friday]

“You guys done fucked things up now. A three-way relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin was seething as he scolded Jimin and Yoongi in the living room. The other guys were sitting at the dining table as Jin told them that they had to stay for this ordeal. They sat there in silence, waiting for this to (hopefully) end as soon as possible.

If the argument from earlier didn’t sober everyone up, then Jin’s yelling definitely did.

“And you! Taehyung! What were you thinking asking that?!” Jin pointed his finger at Taehyung.

“Huh? Me!? Jimin was the one who told me to ask something risky if Yoongi pulled that block.” Tae tried to avert his gaze from the older man. 

Everyone groaned. Jenga blocks still remained scattered on the table and on the floor of the living room. Unfinished snacks and drinks remained a mess around the table as well. Jin made a mental note to make Yoongi and Jimin clean up the aftermath of Friday Night Game Night as punishment for what happened.

“But you know what, I expected something like this at some point. Hoseok and Taehyung, please pay up. I take Venmo.” The two men—that Jin name dropped—groaned, pulling out their phones to send him the money. “Hyung, what the hell, man?!” Jimin glanced at them back and forth, appalled. Even Yoongi was confused that there was something like this going on, but he really shouldn’t be the one judging right now. “What? Did you think we didn’t suspect anything? That y’all were slick? There were signs...” Jin’s words drifted off.

“Like?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well should I mention the blowjob that Honey gave you in Mr. Kang’s office?” Hoseok interjected as he turned around from his chair. Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What the fuck? H-How did you—” He stumbled on his words. Hoseok didn’t come in until after it ended, he thought. How would he have known!?

“The door may have been closed, but people approaching the door can still hear what goes on behind it. Especially in that old ass building…” Hoseok sighed, “Thought it was just you jacking off in there at first, but when I heard you say, and I quote,  ‘Fuck. You really drive me crazy. You know that, Sunshine?’ I connected the dots quickly. I sat out there waiting until it ended so I could come in to drop my shit.” He emphasized, leaving Yoongi completely speechless.

“Jimin sent me Y/N’s nudes accidently one night!” Taehyung stood up from his chair in an instant, abruptly confessing. “He unsent them, but I caught it! He had to fes’ up to me after that. I thought it was just the both of them in a situationship. Then when Jin said Yoongi hyung was also involved, I couldn’t believe that. But I started connecting the dots during the trip.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin, snarling a bit. Trying to avoid further questioning, Jimin mouths out to him that it happened while he was drunk when he stayed over at Taehyung’s during Christmas break. Though of course, Yoongi cannot read his lips.

“I didn’t lose the bet because I always knew there was a possibility it wasn’t just hyung and Honey after I caught them having sex. Especially based on the conversation Jimin and I had during his birthday party. So I was on Jin’s side.” Jungkook added, then he shrugged. 

“Interesting. Yoongi had told me about a dilemma he had with someone he was seeing. Jimin was also acting a little too clingy to Honey than usual, so I put the pieces together and realized what these two were doing. I thought I was wrong, but Jesus Christ…” Jin sat down in the loveseat, wondering if he had failed as president of Beta Tau Sigma. Should he have not let you move in to prevent this? Or should he have brought it up privately to you three and warned you all not to do it? Whatever scenario he thinks of doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Now people are hurt and humiliated. He has to step it up to help you guys in any way, especially you. “Does Namjoon hyung know?” Taehyung inquired, earning everyones’ immediate deadpan stare at him. The silent action makes it seem that there is a shared understanding of something. No one wants Namjoon to know what happened. They know that if he finds out, they might have to be ready for their own funerals. “No.” Yoongi answered. “Fair enough. So what’s the plan now?” He followed up with another question. “We don’t even know where Honey went? Is she even somewhere safe?” Taehyung’s attitude towards this situation has been nonchalant, but in reality, he was actually very concerned for your mental wellbeing. He may be a social butterfly fuckboi, but whatever Jimin and Yoongi hid from you was a new low to him. You weren’t very close to him before, but he has grown fond of you in the past 2 years he’s known you. “We’re not telling Namjoon hyung that’s for sure!” Jungkook chimed in, scrolling at his recent messages. “I texted Hwasa because it’s the first person I thought she’d go to. She said that Honey was with her, asleep on her bed. Doesn’t seem like Honey wants to come back anytime soon.”

The guys let out a sigh of relief, though guilt shadowed Jimin and Yoongi. Feeling worn out, Jimin decided to get up from his spot, stumbled a bit and headed up to his room. Jin’s about to follow in pursuit to get him to come back and help clean up, but Yoongi stopped him. “Just let him be, I’ll help clean up if you need it,” The cat-eyed man said, reading into Jin’s intentions. “He’s already mentally punishing himself over this.”

After this, the other guys went into their rooms and called it a night. Yoongi remained in the dimly lit living room area, cleaning the mess that was left behind and reflecting on his frustrations. +++++++++++

You asked Jungkook about Namjoon. You knew that he would start to find things suspicious and eventually interrogate everyone about your whereabouts, like the older sibling figure he is. But Jungkook said that wasn’t the case. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:24PM]: No, Hyung’s been holed up in his room working on his polisci papers or in the lib’s lab room helping his buddies with stuff.

Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: He did ask about you though. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: But me and tae said that you’ve been busy working on a mid-semester project with her so you would be staying over at her dorm for a while. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:27PM]: Yoongi hyung and Jimin have been closed off since then, but Namjoon hyung hasn’t noticed much.

You keep going through your past texts between Jungkook and rereading what was sent. There are more messages from him mentioning that Jimin and Yoongi have been more standoffish towards others, making you feel concerned for them. Wait. No. You shake your head. Why are you even worried? They were the ones who started it. Did they not realize that things were better off platonic, instead of messing with your heart?

You breathe out, locking your phone. You go back to lying down on your side on the bed, closing your eyes to stop yourself from spiraling. The door suddenly unlocks, and the creaking sound marks Hwasa's entrance into the dorm. Opening your eyes, you observe her movements as she places her backpack on the desk. “Hey Hon, did you go to your class at noon?” She asks, her eyes searching yours. You nod, answering, “Yeah, couldn’t skip it today. Professor Watanabe said we were having a quiz because no one asked questions last class. Came back here after class.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Hwasa comes over to settle on your bed, arranging a throw pillow against the wall for comfort. She shifts her position, making herself at home. "How are ya feeling?"

“Better than before, but still not that great.”

“Maybe you should go out tonight. I think Nu Kappa is having a party tonight? Oh wait, Sigma Lambda is for sure having a house party. Let me check in with Joshua for that one because–”

“No.” You cut her off, though the word coming out of your mouth sounded much harsher than you had wanted it to. “I just don’t want to be around people that I know or potentially know me. Or just run into them.” You refer to Yoongi and Jimin with that line, maybe even Namjoon too. 

You want to talk this whole thing over with them, but you’re not ready yet. You just can’t organize your thoughts yet, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s the anxiety of knowing that a conversation about this would eventually lead to you guys to cut off contact completely. And that could be it. Maybe that’s for the better. 

You will move out of the Beta Tau Sigma house.

Maybe you can ask Student Housing if they’d be willing to let you officially move into Hwasa’s dorm for the rest of the semester.

Yeah, you can manage to make this work out. But is it what you really want?

No. Of course not. But at this point in time, you can’t imagine this going any other way. “My bad, girl. I just wanted to help cheer you up.” Hwasa’s expression becomes somber.

No, no. You didn’t mean it like that. Why can’t your brain work properly?! “No, it’s just— sorry.” You apologize, trying to think of something to brighten up the mood. “But if you want to go out, don’t let me stop you, bestie! Maybe you want to see a special someone out.” 

Hwasa lets out a giggle, “It’s okay, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” She places her hand on your back to give you reassuring rubs. “But I’ll take that suggestion. Joshua told me his friend is making his DJ debut at Sigma Lambda so I wanted to drop by and support.”

Concern crosses your face, “That sounds pretty awesome, but are you okay going alone? I can go with you if you want.” She shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I don’t want to force you to be there when you’re not feeling too hot. I’ll hit up Annie and ask if she’s down to come with me.” “Okay, that sounds good.” You reply, appreciating her understanding and the attempt to bring some normalcy back into the evening.

+++++++++++

Hwasa was in luck because Annie did respond not long after she sent her a text. She invited Hwasa to get ready over at her dorm, which was the nice apartment-like dorm on the northernmost part of campus. Hwasa says that she might come back late, but more than likely, thinks she’ll be knocked out at Annie’s dorm. She’ll keep you posted. Before she leaves that night, she gives you her access card (since you’ve been entering her dorm before thanks to the shared bathroom she has with the 2 girls in the next dorm) and tells you to feel free to go out to get something for dinner. After that happens, you’re left alone now. The Hello Kitty clock on Hwasa’s table read, “8:46 PM” Maybe you should grab something to eat. You honestly haven’t been eating properly. But you are tired of the dining hall food after almost two weeks of eating it. You hated it even when you used to dorm last year. “Maybe I’ll order from DoorDash to treat myself after a tough week,” You say to yourself while you lay down on Hwasa’s big fluffy pink floor rug. Netflix movie night and take-out sounds ideal, right?

Just as you’re scrolling through your phone trying to find an option you’re craving, you hear a loud knock at the door. 

Oh shit.

It’s not Hwasa, right? She would’ve texted you that she was coming back because she forgot something. Then is it the RA? No. Hwasa said she was cool with him, so he wouldn’t snitch you out. Did something else happen?

You get up from your comfortable position to walk towards the door. You’re not gonna lie, you’re a little nervous to open it.

Who the fuck could it even be on a Friday night?

You open it slowly, seeing tall figures coming into view.

“Honey, come out!” “Taehyung!?” You yelp out. Once you recognize the voice, you rapidly open the door wide enough to find Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok on the other side. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” You ask. You don’t remember telling them to come over. Even if you did, there’s not much they can do in such a small dorm. This is the first time in two weeks you’re talking to any of the other guys besides Jungkook. “We came over because we want to invite you out,” Hoseok responds this time, signature heart smile showing. “We know you haven’t been feeling well so we want to go with you and let loose!”

You’re getting deja vu from the same conversation you had with Hwasa earlier.

“So go get changed out of your…pajamas.” Jungkook looks down at you as he speaks, somewhat checking you out. A thought in your mind just clicks that he was looking at your chest, wearing no bra and cleavage all out. Men… You’ve been wearing your lace tank top and My Melody pajama pants since you got back from class. You didn’t have any plans of going out after class, so why be dressed up in tight jeans, a shirt and whatever else for the whole day? 

“Look, guys. That sounds like a mighty plan you got there, but I really don’t think I should go.” “But why not? There’s nothing better than drinking and forgetting your regrets! Please come with us!” Taehyung steps in closer, trying to welcome himself inside.

“Because… I’m feeling a little sick…?” The guys look at you in complete disbelief before you admit the truth. “Okay, fine, I don’t want to party around here and see these people.”

“Who said we’re partying here?” Jungkook smirks, “No, we’re going… somewhere else.” “Where is this ‘somewhere else’ you speak of?” You narrow your eyes, mild interest sparking behind them.

“Stop asking so many questions and just get ready. I’ll even help you pick out something.” Hoseok takes this as an opportunity to enter the dorm, where you direct him to your closet of stuff. The two other guys follow in as well and stand there as Hoseok is sifting through the rack mixed with jeans, blouses, skirts and sweaters.  

“Here, this is cute.” He hands you your black heart ring detail halter top, flared jeans, and a black knit cardigan. “Oh, this isn’t that bad of a look? No wonder people say you’re the most stylish on the dance team.” 

Hoseok grins, his eyes lighting up with pride at the compliment. "Well, you know, I've got an eye for these things. Now, go change into this. The night may be young, but we’re not getting any younger here!"

You take the outfit from him, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Hobi. I appreciate it." You look back at the guys who are still standing in the dorm, chuckling. "Um alright, can you guys step outside the door while I change?"

“Oh whoops!” Jungkook yells out, The three guys scurry out of the dorm, giving you a moment of privacy to change. 

Hoseok calls after you behind the door, "Let me know if you need any makeup tips! I'm a pro at this too."

You chuckle, appreciating the effort to lighten the mood. In the bathroom, you quickly change into the outfit Hoseok picked out. It's a mix of your style but with a touch of Hoseok's fashion flair. The black heart ring detail halter top fits snugly, paired with flared jeans and a cozy black knit cardigan. You glance at yourself in the mirror, the reflection showing a slightly different version of you.

After a deep breath, you open the door, greeted by the approving nods and smiles of Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Taehyung claps his hands together. "Looking good! Now, let's get out there and have some fun!"

With excitement now in the air, you grab your bag before you go and you all head out the building.

+++++++++++

Jungkook leads the way to his car, a sleek 2017 Mercedes-Benz C300 parked in the student parking lot next to Hwasa's dorm. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the polished surface, and you can't help but appreciate the comfortable luxury of his car. You will always remember that he begged his parents to sign off on it so he could get it as his graduation gift.

Jungkook unlocks the doors, and you all pile in, anticipation building for the night ahead.

The drive is filled with a mix of laughter and excited chatter as you navigate through the city. The atmosphere in the car is lively, the previous stress of weeks ago momentarily forgotten as you stare out of the car looking at the skyline of city lights on the freeway. It feels less suffocating over here. No Jimin. No Yoongi. No Namjoon. Just you and the other boys. You weren’t too keen on coming along with them, but now that you’re sitting here, DEAN’s Pour Up bass boosted on the car speakers, you know you made a good choice. You gotta let loose.

After 20 minutes on the road, Jungkook exits off the freeway into a residential area. As he finds a parking spot, you can hear the distant bass of music and the chatter of college students walking around. Is this another college’s Greek row?  The car engine turns off, and you all step outside looking around the neighborhood.

You're immediately struck by the grandeur of the fraternity houses. They are much bigger than the ones at your college campus, their size and architecture exuding an air of privilege. These houses are easily identifiable by the prominent display of large Greek letters or flags proudly adorning the front, signaling the presence of each fraternity.

Lights spill out from the windows, and the distant sounds of music and laughter grow louder as you approach the houses. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness being here. Though, you’re glad that you won’t run into people you know here. And even if you do, the chance is likely really low. Who would come 20 minutes away to party at another college?

Once this question comes to your mind, you feel a little odd. Wait, are you forgetting something?

Before you can think about it more, Jungkook gently holds your wrist, leading the way through the lively crowds of students walking around, and you follow suit. 

The four of you approach the entrance of one of the bigger fraternity houses, the thumping bass becomes almost palpable. The flag outside says ΗΨΒ— Eta Psi Beta. You’re honestly not familiar with this one as it seems to be one that doesn’t have a chapter at your college. Without hesitation or restrictions, you guys walk into the side entrance leading to the backyard. After several steps of walking along the slightly lit path, you're engulfed in an atmosphere of sights and sounds. The massive backyard is packed with people, the air pulsating with the beats of a 2010s party mix blaring from the speakers. You see a pretty girl with a colorful knit top and black hair DJing the party from the far end of the backyard, along with several people behind her overseeing the vibes. Color-changing lights crisscross above, connected to tall oak trees, casting a warm glow over the lively scene below.

To your right, a makeshift bar is set up, complete with a variety of drinks and colorful cocktails. Students are chatting, dancing, and moving in synchronized rhythm with the music. The atmosphere is infectious, and you find yourself getting into the groove, the worries of the past weeks slowly fading away. 

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok lead you through the crowd, their excitement contagious. You can't help but marvel at the sheer scale of the party, a stark contrast to the more intimate gatherings you're used to. 

"Isn't this amazing?" Taehyung exclaims over the music, and you respond with an enthusiastic nod.

“How the hell did you guys find this party?” you shout back at him, catching yourself staring at the DJ Girl changing the setlist to some House and UK Garage music to hype up the crowd more.

“Jungkook says he knows a guy here!” Hoseok adds.

“Yeah! We go to the same gym off-campus and box a bit,” Jungkook explains closer to your ear so you could hear amid the lively ambiance. “Oh look! Speak of the devil!” His eyes widen when he sees the man he’s referring to step right up in front of you guys. “Woah! Jungkook! You came!” The man speaks with excitement in his eyes, facial features reflecting a youthfulness that adds to his charm. Like Jungkook, he possesses captivating doe eyes that convey both innocence and a hint of curiosity. He is seemingly younger than your group, however, his height is exactly the same as the trio with you. Jungkook chuckles, going in for a bro hug. “Didn’t think I was going to, but I dragged some friends with me.” Jungkook moves aside to introduce you three, “This is Hoseok, Taehyung, and Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you guys! I’m Taehyun Kang.” He extends a handshake to each of you, catching you off guard. Awkwardly, you take his hand in yours. His politeness radiates, and you can't help but find it adorable.

Taehyun leads the way, gesturing toward the makeshift bar. "Oh! Since you guys are here, let's get some drinks!" he suggests, guiding you through the lively crowd towards the vibrant bar area. “We have a special jungle juice just for tonight’s event. We call it Sugar Rush Ride!” He leans close to you guys, “We basically dumped a bunch of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in it mixed with other alcohols!” “Oh that seems pretty cool! Let me get some!” You say.  Taehyun smiles, pouring you some in a blue plastic cup and hands it to you. “You guys want to try some too?”

“I’m the DD for the drive back home, but these two can get some.” Hoseok reassures the younger men it's okay to get wasted. He’s always been a reliable upperclassman and brother to them.

You take the chance to sip the cup. Mm. It’s a little too sweet for your taste, but the strong burning sensation (of what you assume is rum and vodka), helps it lessen. Good. This is what you need right now so badly.

Fuck it.

For a moment, you're content to let go of your troubles and embrace the carefree spirit of the night.

+++++++++++

“Where’s Y/N? She’s not in her room.”

This question catches Jin off guard as he sips his wine, slightly choking on it before setting it down on the coffee table. He’s hanging out with Namjoon, John, San and Soyoon watching a Ghibli movie in the living room. Not that he was paying much attention, he was on his phone playing the new Maple Story update. Yoongi went to play basketball at the intramural gymnasium on campus, while Jimin went drinking with an upperclassmen, Taemin.

Of course Jin knew where you were this whole time since the fight, and even tonight when Hoseok said they were inviting you to the Eta Psi Beta party at the neighboring university. But is he about to tell Namjoon?

He’s not sure. Jin pauses the game on his phone, glancing at Namjoon. "Yeah, she mentioned she's spending the night at Hwasa's place. They've been hanging out a lot lately," he says, attempting a nonchalant tone to avoid revealing any hint of the tension between you and the others. His eyes flicker between the screen and Namjoon, unsure whether he should disclose more information.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a slight frown forming on his face. "Is she okay?"

Jin hesitates for a moment, debating how much to share. "I guess? She just said she needed a change of scenery, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Namjoon presses, sensing there might be more to the story.

Jin takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting away momentarily. "Look, there's been some tension lately. I think she just needed some space to clear her head."

Namjoon's expression tightens, concern deepening. "Tension? What happened?" John, San and Soyoon’s attention from the movie has been diverted to the conversation happening between Jin and Namjoon. Jin sighs, knowing he can’t divulge more information in front of them. So he gets up, grabbing Namjoon’s wrist, and dragging him into the hallway leading to their rooms. “God, I hate having to hide shit from you of all people.” Jin whispers aggressively, putting his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “Fine, basically, Y/N ran away two weeks ago and is staying at Hwasa’s dorm.” “...What the fuck, Seokjin?!” Namjoon reins in his emotions, realizing that getting upset won't help him understand the situation better. Now, more than ever, he needs to find out what's going on with you. “Why didn’t anyone tell me—”

He interrupts the younger man, sighing in frustration. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened exactly and neither was it anyone else’s. I think you might have an idea, though, even if you weren’t there. If you want to know, go find her.”

Namjoon is left speechless, brows furrowing as he absorbs the information, a surge of worry overtaking him. 

Jin nods, understanding Namjoon's urgency. “And we didn’t want to get you upset and probably wreck anything…or anyone.”

“Where is she, Jin?”

Jin, once again hesitates for a moment. “She’s at a party with Hoseok, Tae, and Jungkook. It’s at the…Eta Psi Beta house at that neighboring university, not too far from here.”

“Oh Sh–” Namjoon looks like a deer caught in headlights, evident concern plastered on his face. “Did you not fucking know that’s the frat that he is in?”

“He?” Jin pauses for a moment confused about who Namjoon was referring to before it all clicks in his head, panicking. “Holy fuck! How was I supposed to remember that? Jungkook said he had a friend there. And I mean, it’s a big frat…what are the odds that she’ll run into him?”

Namjoon takes a deep breath, frustration and worry battling within him. He has been keeping tabs here and there on this guy for over a year, just out of concern for you. He wasn’t sure if you’d ever plan to seek him, or vice versa. No, this isn’t good. 

He doesn't want to waste any time. 

“I’m going out!” Without another word, he heads towards the front door.

John gets up from the couch seeing the commotion. “Woah, Joon, what’s going on?” His brows furrow, searching Namjoon's face for answers.

Namjoon's jaw clenches as he sighs, concern etched across his face. “I need to go find Y/N. She’s at Eta Psi’s party at UOX 20 minutes away, and she might be in some trouble soon.” As he speaks, his eyes dart around, calculating the steps he needs to take.

John senses the urgency in Namjoon's movements and offers his assistance. “I’ll take you! I didn’t drink at all earlier so I’m good to drive.”

Soyoon, catching wind of the unfolding situation, joins in, her eyes wide with concern. “We'll come along too and help you find her!”

Meanwhile, Jin, trying to compose himself, acknowledges the chaos. “I wanna go, but I’ll stay here. Yoongi will be back later, so it’ll be suspicious if we’re all gone,” he says, his demeanor calm but resolute, a stabilizing force amid the growing turmoil. Namjoon’s gaze flickers briefly to Jin, silently thanking him for staying behind. He then nods appreciatively at John's offer, grateful for the immediate support. "Thanks, John. Let's go."

 He gestures for San and Soyoon to follow as well, her worried expression mirrors his own. As they make their way to the door, John grabs his jacket, his movements quick and purposeful.

The front door closes, leaving Jin alone with his own contemplations. The room, once filled with casual conversation and the glow of the TV now feels empty and eerily quiet.

He glances at his phone, pondering whether he should reach out to Yoongi. He knows Yoongi hates that man’s guts just as much as Namjoon, but he knows that you will be even more troubled if you see him as well. As he debates internally, Jin takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever repercussions may follow, hoping that Namjoon can find you and the other boys swiftly and ensure you don’t end up seeing him.

+++++++++++

After several drinks, you’ve gotten lost in the humongous crowd of people filling the backyard of this frat house. The last time you remember seeing Taehyung’s social butterfly ass was when he was striking up conversations with a couple of girls. His infectious laughter and charming boxy smile drew them towards him, and soon he was engaged in a friendly game of beer pong with a group jealous guys and trying to show off his skills and impressive aim to the girls. They loved it.

You believe Jungkook was dragged away by an excited Taehyun wanting to show him something inside the house, though you’re not sure if he’s back…and somewhere in this crowd.  

So that leaves you with Hoseok for a while, and when 4 Walls by F(X) starts playing, he nudges you into the middle of the crowd.

You dance with him for a bit, enjoying yourself as you attempt to follow along the movements he does. This ends with you awkwardly laughing at your own failure. You could never pop and lock, or whatever he did.  You’re just not that flexible at all or well-versed with dance moves that aren’t “The Robot”. But Hoseok is gentle when teaching you. Compared to how strict he is with his students during his dance class sessions, according to Jungkook.

Dancing with him was short-lived, as he tells you to stay put because he wants to enter the dance circle emerging from the middle of the crowd in front of the DJ. He might be the DD for the night, but he isn’t going to miss out on the fun while being sober.

You don’t want to be squished with drunk, sweaty bodies around you, so you end up next to the DJ booth, where the same girl is still spinning tracks and taking charge of the party’s setlist. Her effortless grace and commanding presence behind the turntables catch your attention, and you can't help but be intrigued by her.

"So, how did you get into DJing?" you ask, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music. Usually, you’re not as courageous to start conversations with random people, but today, the alcohol in your system said otherwise.

The girl flashes you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Well, I've always had a passion for music," she replies, adjusting a knob on the mixer with practiced ease. "Back in Japan, I used to DJ at small local events. When I came here for my exchange program, I jumped at the chance to share my love for music with a new audience."

You nod, impressed by her dedication and talent. "Oh wow! That's amazing. You're really good at it," you comment, nodding towards the crowd as they groove to the beat.

Her smile widens at the compliment, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Thanks! I love seeing people enjoy themselves on the dance floor, connected by the music."

As you continue chatting, you come to find out her name is Sakura, and is in the same year as you. Before you get the chance to tell her your name, your attention is suddenly drawn to the makeshift dance floor where Hoseok is engaged in a spirited dance battle with another party-goer. The two of them move with grace and precision, their movements synchronized to the pulsating rhythm of the music.

You watch in awe as Hoseok dazzles the crowd with his fluid dance moves, his energy infectious as he captivates everyone around him. The other dancer, who you couldn’t see well from your angle, seems to hold their own with impressive skill drawing impressed sounds from the people watching. The guy keeps matching Hoseok move for move while Summer Walker’s Dat Right There plays in the background. After they finish, two other guys are up and dancing to the next song on Sakura’s setlist.

Sakura follows your gaze as you watch Hoseok get mixed into the crowd once again, a smile playing on her lips. "Looks like your friend knows how to move," she remarks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. 

You nod in agreement, feeling a swell of pride over your friend getting complimented. “Yup! He’s won several dance competitions in the past.” You sip your blue cup. What even is the alcohol inside this cup? You think maybe you should stop drinking before you start to get the urge to puke. Though, when else can you go all out like this without their supervision?

“Competition!? Woah, that’s on a whole other level than Jun! He’s in the school’s dance team too.”

You want to continue your conversation with Sakura, but suddenly, you feel your vision spin. Shit, maybe you are at your limit. You used to be able to drink more, why are you so weak tonight? You try to hold onto the table for stability, which then catches Sakura’s attention.

 “Wait, hey…you okay?”

You quickly look up at her, and wave her off. “Uh, yeah! 100%. Just need some water.”

“There’s cases of bottled water in the kitchen, just head in through the back door. Think you can make it there? I would help, but I’m—”

You manage a weak smile, grateful for Sakura's concern. "Don’t worry! I'll do that. Thanks, Sakura," you reply, your voice sounding more slurred as you attempt to maintain your composure. With a determined nod, you push yourself away from the table, focusing on steadying your steps as you make your way toward the back door.

As you navigate through the throngs of bodies, you can feel the effects of the alcohol weighing heavily on your senses. The music seems louder now, the lights brighter, and the voices around you a chaotic blur. You press a hand to your temple, willing away the dizzy spell that threatens to overwhelm you.

The sudden shift in atmosphere hits you like a wave as you step inside the house. The air is thick with smoke, a potent mixture of cigarette and weed fumes that assault your senses. You cough slightly, your eyes watering as you try to adjust to the stifling environment. 

The dim lighting casts long shadows across the room, adding to the hazy ambiance. People are scattered throughout the space, lounging on couches, leaning against walls, and mingling in small groups. The music from outside pounds in your ears, reverberating through the walls and floor, making it difficult to think clearly. 

Making your way to the kitchen, you find the bottled water, grab one and twist off the cap, taking a long gulp of the refreshing liquid. The relief is short lived though, as you glance around, searching for a familiar face in the sea of strangers. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Taehyung are nowhere to be seen for some time. 

You feel a pang of unease at being separated from your friends at a random frat party, God knows where. You’re also passed the point of being tipsy. 

What school are you even at? Why didn’t you bother asking about it in the car earlier?

Maybe you should try finding Jungkook. Yeah, he should be inside somewhere. You didn’t see him come out earlier.

You walk to the living room to try to search for him amongst the lax bodies taking hits from bongs, but suddenly you hear your name called out.

“Y/N!”

Jungkook?

Wait, did that sound like Jungkook calling out to you? Maybe? Maybe not?

You’re drunk, but the voice sounds familiar, though. Who is that?

You turn around.

And when you do, you immediately regret it.

The familiar voice that you deemed to be Jungkook was not him, but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to you at all. You used to hear this voice so often. A voice that would whisper sweet nothings to you in the late summer nights and would annoy the hell out of you with his comments.

It can’t be him, you think. You’re drunk! You’re just drunk, Y/N! Why would it be him, here, right now? As much as you tried to refute the appearance of that man before you, the image became clearer.

Choi Yeonjun.

Once you realize this, everything around you seizes movement. Soon, it feels like you stepped into a dream with how hazy everything has become. The atmosphere consumed with smoke from people smoking weed here is definitely not helping. 

You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol running through your veins or your anxiety making the world spin once more, but there’s a curdling feeling in your stomach now.

Before you can even think, your legs start to move you back, very slowly. Away from the man who left you devastated and heartbroken not too long ago.

“Y-Yeon–”

“Y/N…” 

Fuck. It’s been almost two years and you still can’t fucking say his name. What’s wrong with you? You’re over him. Why are you somehow standing here in fear just from being in his presence?

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Me either.” That’s all you can mutter out? Wait. Is the “Jun” that Hoseok was dancing against earlier. Holy shit, this is all making sense. Of course you knew he went to a university close to you, but there’s thousands of students going there too. You would’ve never thought you’d just see fucking Yeonjun out of all people at a random ass frat party.

You wonder if he could sense the fear crawling through your skin, controlling your muscle movements. Your vision quivers twice as much as it should. Don’t make eye contact dammit.

Too late.

Despite your overwhelming urge to flee, you force yourself to stand your ground as Yeonjun approaches closer, his presence looming over you like a dark shadow. Every instinct screams at you to run, to go find the guys, to escape the memories that threaten to engulf you, but you swallow down your fear and brace yourself for what comes next.

"How have you been?" He asks, his voice soft yet filled with a tinge of uncertainty. 

You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of softness. And perhaps weakness. Your heart pounds in your chest, your palms clammy with nerves as you struggle to find the right words to respond. You’re gonna puke at this rate and it’s going to be embarrassing.

"Good... uh, how are you?" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, the fear of what you might see reflected in them too overwhelming to bear. Instead, you focus on a spot just over his shoulder, willing yourself to remain composed despite the turmoil raging inside you.

Yeonjun's response is brief, almost curt. "Good," he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.

There's a tense silence between you two. You can feel the weight of the past pressing down on you, threatening to suffocate you with its suffocating embrace. But still, you refuse to break, determined to weather the storm no matter what.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yeonjun speaks again, his voice hesitant yet persistent on something. "Okay, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I noticed you talking to Sakura earlier and I thought it was fate that I saw you after so long. Can we talk?"

“Huh? What?” 

Now what’s this about? You’ve been through too much and having a conversation about whatever the fuck is on his mind is something you do not want to do tonight. Or ever. You guys have been done. You have no more tears left to cry. You know your heart lies elsewhere.

“I know things ended badly when I left you, but—”

You’re not sure if he’s apologizing after reflecting on the past some time ago or if he’s trying to get back together with you, but you cannot stomach this. You want to leave. He’s probably drunk anyways. If he sincerely feels either of the two ways, he would’ve come to find you earlier to tell while he’s sober.

“Yeonjun,” You sigh heavily as you interrupt him, giving him a stern expression to show that you’re serious, “I’m not feeling too great right now. I need to go find the guys.”

“The guys?” Yeonjun scoffs. “You’re still hanging around with them?”

“Who?”

“Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin.”

What? You’re not even going to tell him that’s not who you’re here with, but now you have questions. There’s something he’s clearly insinuating here that he never told you when you two were dating. You wonder if it’s related to the reason why he ended things when you thought they were going so well. 

You want to keep edging him on until he spills.

“What’s wrong with that?” You raise your eyebrow, getting progressively more pissed off.

Yeonjun’s gaze hardens, his features contorting with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. “What’s wrong with that?” he echoes, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Can’t believe you’re still so dense after all this time.”

No, never mind. You’re not going to stand here and be degraded until you get a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t matter anymore.

“If you’re going to fucking insult me, then I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not leaving yet!” Yeonjun suddenly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. His fingers dig into your skin with a painful intensity. You cringe for a moment. Panic courses through your veins as you struggle against his hold, desperate to break free from his grasp.

Before you could fight against his hold further, you turn to see a man, similar in height to Yeonjun, shoving him roughly against the nearest wall, his expression dark and menacing. This action makes Yeonjun let go as his hands are now elsewhere.

Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the altercation unfold, fear and uncertainty swirling inside you like a raging storm. Who is this man?

Holy shit. 

Looking at him closely, the realization hits you like a ton of bricks—it's Namjoon.

Why is he here? How did he know you guys were here anyway?

"What the fuck is your problem grabbing her like that?" Namjoon's voice cuts through the chaos, his tone filled with anger and concern.

“Wait, Namjoon! Just stop. Let it go!”

Hoseok's voice breaks through the chaos, drawing your attention. He strides towards you, his eyes blazing with fury and worry. Taehyung and Jungkook follow closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. A crowd starts to form around them, even bringing in more people from outside after hearing the commotion.

Namjoon moves quickly, grabbing Yeonjun by the collar. “I don’t like violence, but you’ve really been pissing me off since that summer.” he growls, his voice dripping with menace.

Yeonjun staggers backward, out of Namjoon’s hold. Though his eyes remain wide with shock. He seems uncertain of what to do next, caught off guard by Namjoon's appearance and sudden aggression. His expression shifts from surprise to defiance, his jaw clenched with determination.

"Pissed off at me?" Yeonjun's voice is laced with poison, his eyes narrowing as he locks gazes with Namjoon. "I'm the one pissed off at you knowing she liked you this whole time and you never noticed a goddamn thing."

You remain frozen while hearing the words coming out of Yeonjun’s mouth. You liking Namjoon this whole time? Gears turn in your head. Did you never realize those feelings slip out of you? During the times you’d lovingly call Yeonjun, ‘Junnie’...did it feel so right because it was the same nickname Namjoon had? Yeonjun suddenly interjects with a sharp tone, "So you should stop acting up." 

The room falls into a momentary silence, punctuated only by the muffled thud as Yeonjun swiftly grabs a book from a nearby table and hits Namjoon's head with it. There's an audible gasp from the onlookers, some leaning forward in their spots to get a better view, while others recoil in shock at the unexpected turn of events.

Namjoon, caught off guard by the sudden blow, winces as the book makes contact with his head. He instinctively brings a hand up to rub the spot where he was struck, his expression a mixture of surprise and discomfort.

You, too, are taken aback by Yeonjun's action, your eyes widening as you and hoping they’ll just stop. 

Namjoon regains his posture and immediately goes back to gripping Yeonjun's collar, this time more tightly. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he retorts, his voice low and dangerous.

Yeonjun laughs, a bitter edge to the sound. "How thick is your skull? You can’t see how she’s looking at you, even now?” he sneers. "She's always been thinking of you all this time! Even when I was fucking her—"

Before Yeonjun can finish his sentence, Namjoon's fist connects with his jaw, the force of the blow sending him staggering backward once more. Yeonjun stumbles again, his balance thrown off by the unexpected attack and he falls to the floor.

The room erupts into chaos as people nearby shout and gasp in surprise. Namjoon steps forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he advances on Yeonjun, who raises his hands defensively.

"Namjoon, stop!" Your voice cuts through the tumult, your tone urgent as you rush forward to intervene. 

“Y/N, get away from them!” Jungkook runs towards you, trying to pull you away. Hoseok and Taehyung's faces are etched with concern as they rush to restrain Namjoon. Two other guys you recognize as Yeonjun’s close friends Soobin and Taehyun try to restrain Yeonjun as well. 

You run towards Namjoon and with a strong pull, manage to move him away and make him snap out of his sudden rage. When he looks down at your eyes, he notices you're slowly sobbing, frustrated.

He turns to look at Yeonjun, sitting on the ground as Soobin and Taehyun tend to his bloody nose as a result of the punch. 

As Namjoon's eyes meet yours, he registers the anguish reflected in your tear-filled gaze. The sight of your distress is like a bucket of cold water, jolting him out of his blind rage. Guilt washes over him as he realizes the impact his actions have had on you.

"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

But before he can finish his apology, you turn away, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Your heart feels heavy with a mixture of emotions—anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness. You feel stupid in a way. What are you upset about? Is it because he fought and hurt Yeonjun? Is it because of the pact he had with Yoongi and Jimin? Is it because Yeonjun touched upon growing feelings you tried to repress?

Probably, it’s all of the above.

Namjoon reaches out to touch your arm, his expression pleading. "We need to talk."

Should you talk to Namjoon? You’re starting to sober up a bit after all that, so maybe you should come clean to him about everything that has happened not only in the last few weeks, but the last few months.

And perhaps, it’s time to put an end to your feelings or let yourself be consumed by them.

“Okay, fine, let’s go outside," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. You wipe your tears, calming your breathing to stop the sobs. Namjoon nods in agreement, his expression somber as he follows you through the crowd. 

+++++++++++ 

“Why are you here?” You look down impatiently at Namjoon, who is now sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Eta Psi house. 

John, Soyoon, and San stand outside, their expressions etched with concern as they searched for you earlier. Namjoon waves them away, urging them to retreat inside and grant you both some privacy. They comply reluctantly, casting worried glances over their shoulders as they leave. They didn’t witness the fight or Namjoon getting hit, but it is evident from the tear stains on your face and Namjoon's deflated demeanor that something bad happened. They will likely learn the details later from Jungkook, who will be sure to fill them in once they are indoors.

“What? Why are you here? At this party a few towns over, all alone?”

“I wasn't alone! I came here with Tae, Jungkook and Hoseok. But what the hell is wrong with you?” “What do you mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you. I was trying to protect you.”

“You didn’t need to protect me because I could’ve handled that! Way better than you, who started a fight!” you retort, your voice rising with anger.

Stunned, Namjoon huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “You were standing there for a solid five minutes, hands shaking, and stuck in place!”

He saw that too? Shit. He’s right. You couldn’t even move, and once again it was just like the summer right before freshman year of college. Right when he broke up with you and the last time you ever faced him. You hate having to recall that day when it felt like all the love you poured into this human you cared for so dearly became dried up and nonexistent.

Not wanting to admit your faults and being in a partially drunk stupor, you let your cold nature take over.

“Who even asked you to do that?” you snap, your tone cold and defensive.

Namjoon only stares at you, unblinking and feeling the distance you suddenly put in between him. “Who asked me? Who–” he begins, but his words trail off.

This silence cuts through the night air. For once in your life, Namjoon cannot find the right words to articulate his thoughts. He suddenly looks flustered, debating what he should even say.

And in that second, your harsher features start to soften in realization. You regret your bitter question aimed at him and reflecting on your past trauma. Why did you have to say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?  You used to be more calm and collective for fucks sake. Who even are you anymore? 

Namjoon can be petty by nature too, though he’s never been like that toward you. 

“Says the same person who’s been in a fuck buddies deal with Yoongi and Jimin.”

Silence once again. Except now, it is accompanied by a light shower. It’s raining.

Your mind, however, is very loud right now. Screaming internally with millions of questions. More importantly: How the fuck did he find out? Did the other guys spill to him? Or did he know all along? Since when? 

“Joon, that’s just…it’s not…” Cat has your tongue now.

He chuckles bitterly, “Am I even mad? Nah, ‘mad’ doesn’t even cut it.” he mutters, his voice tinged with sadness. He looks down at his hands, now covered in droplets of rainwater, and sighs heavily. “I’ve been good at hiding it, but it’s been so fucking upsetting how stupid you three are for doing that. But how the fuck could I have confronted y’all?”

“Well if it weren’t for you making out with Jihyo at the party right in front my eyes, then this wouldn’t have happened. I just got so upset and ran off. Yoongi was only trying to comfort me, but I was the one who initiated everything. So if you’re going to hate someone, hate me.”

You may have lost Yoongi and Jimin, but the idea of Namjoon hating you and losing him hurts so much. But if you have to end things, might as well do it now.

So fucking much.

“No.” He mumbles.

“What?” “No.” Namjoon’s voice is much clearer, and definitive. He stares into your eyes, but before you can fully process his response, your own words spill out in a rush of guilt and self-loathing. 

“Uh I’ve been sleeping with our other two best friends, and even that won’t get you to hate me?” Tears blur your vision and you struggle to formulate a coherent discussion of every selfish thing you’ve done. “I feel like the shittiest person alive right now! Yoongi and I basically did that out of frustration against you and Jimin becoming distant and changing. Then Jimin ended things with Irene because he liked me all this time and then he got caught up with me and Yoongi and now we got into a fight and–”

“I’m never going to hate you, Y/N.” Namjoon interrupts, his voice steady and filled with unwavering conviction. “Because even if you did that shit, it’s clear as day to me why you did all of that. It’s because you’ve been in love with me all this time too.” His words hang in the air, a profound acknowledgment of the truth that lingers between you. 

There it is.

The thoughts you never wanted to address, not even to Yoongi on the night of the Gamma party.

Namjoon finally realized too. You hate to thank Yeonjun for making the dots connect in his mind.

“Well, congrats on opening Pandora’s box, because you’re right.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Is he going to say something sassy, like ‘I’m always right!’? You wouldn’t even mind him shoving it in your face, because you deserve it after all. You got yourself into this mess.

Namjoon rises from the sidewalk and you find yourself enveloped in his warm embrace under the rain, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil of your emotions. In that moment, you realize that perhaps there’s still hope for the two of you, despite the mistakes and misunderstandings that have plagued your relationship. As you stand in Namjoon’s embrace, surrounded by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of streetlights, you find the courage to bare your soul to him.

“Namjoon,” you begin, your voice trembling with emotion, “Ever since we first became friends, I’ve felt something for you. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s always been there, just lingering beneath the surface.”

You pause, your thoughts drifting to the countless moments you’ve shared with him—the laughter, the tears, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn about the most existential topics. From elementary until now. Each memory is etched into your heart, forming a tapestry of emotions that binds you to him in ways you never imagined possible.

“But it’s not just you,” you continue, your words spilling out in a rush of honesty. “Yoongi and Jimin, they’ve also carved out a place in my heart, each in their own way. It’s complex, messy, and kinda overwhelming.”

Your voice wavers as you confess the tangled web of emotions that have plagued you for so long. “But you, Namjoon…you’re the first love I never wanted to admit. I really wanted to take this to the grave if I could.”

Namjoon’s arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance as you lay bare your deepest fears and desires. You already know how he feels, but him having the chance to hear you out probably eased every one of his own doubts and concerns.

As the rain continues to fall around you, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the scene, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only you and Namjoon standing amidst the gentle rhythm of the rain.

With a newfound clarity, you tilt your head up to meet Namjoon's gaze, the air thick with anticipation. His eyes, dark pools of warmth and understanding, reflect the same emotions swirling within your own heart.

In this moment, there's no need for words. The unspoken longing between you hangs heavy in the air, a silent symphony of desire and yearning that binds you together.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reach up, your fingers tangling in the damp strands of Namjoon's hair. His breath catches in his throat as you draw him closer, your lips hovering just inches apart.

And then, with a surge of courage born from the depths of your heart, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a tender, tentative kiss.

The world seems to stand still as your lips meet, a symphony of emotions surrounding you, with a euphoric dizzying.You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system doing that anymore. This is purely you in this moment suspended in time while the soft caress of your lips are against his.

For a heartbeat, you linger in the sweetness of the kiss, savoring the taste of rain and desire on his lips. And then, as if Namjoon becomes more confident in the moment, he deepens the kiss, your bodies moving in perfect harmony as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of each other.

And this is where you realize, in the gentle patter of rain and the soft glow of streetlights, that this is where you belong—in Namjoon's arms, with his lips pressed against yours, in a world where love knows no bounds.

You pull away from the kiss, a soft giggle escapes your lips. The sound mingles with the gentle patter of raindrops around you. "I've wanted to do that for so long," you admit, a playful glint in your eyes. "Even when you were being annoying and scolding me at times, I thought it would've been better to shut you up with a kiss."

Namjoon's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink, his gaze shifting away shyly. "I...I wouldn't have minded," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. You love seeing this flustered side of him, and hope you can see more of it.

Before you can respond, the sound of wet footsteps interrupts the moment, and you turn to see John emerging from the house, followed closely by Soyoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, Taehyung, and San, who peer curiously from behind him.

"Are you lovebirds done over there?" John teases, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he gestures to you and Namjoon.

You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, feeling embarrassed that you were likely caught kissing Namjoon. Though, besides John’s question, no one else comments on the situation. "Um yeah, I think I wanna go back home," you say, your gaze shifting to Namjoon, who nods in agreement. "I wasn’t feeling good earlier, had too much to drink." "That’s why I told you to be careful!" Jungkook chimes in, scolding you jokingly as he tries to earn some brownie points from Namjoon for looking out for you. “You didn’t say anything!” You expose him, eliciting laughter from everyone present. Even amidst the lighthearted banter, your mind drifts back to Yeonjun, more or less because you’re worried about him taking legal action against Namjoon. “Wait, is Yeonjun…”

“Yeonjun’s going to be fine," Jungkook reassures, making you sigh in relief.  "Hueningkai and Beomgyu helped take him up to his room. He was pretty drunk, so we don’t think he’ll remember anything that happened tonight.”

Relief washes over you at Jungkook's reassurance about Yeonjun's well-being, the worry in your chest easing slightly. 

“Alright, I’ll take you and the others back,” John announces, motioning for you to follow him to his car parked across the street from the frat house.

As you approach the vehicle, you turn to Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook across the street. “Are you guys heading back too?”

Hoseok shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we’ll stick around for a bit longer, make sure everything's all good here.”

“The night is still young for us, but go get some rest, Honey,” Taehyung says, gesturing for you to get in the car.

You give them a grateful smile, appreciating their willingness to stay behind and look out for any potential trouble.

With a final wave, you climb into John's car along with Namjoon, Soyoon, San, and John himself, ready to return back to campus. The engine revs to life, and soon you’re turning the street corner, leaving the chaos of the frat party behind you. As the streetlights flicker past, you lean back in your seat, feeling a sense of relief and contentment wash over you. 

+++++++++++

“I’ll help take Y/N inside and then walk back home,” Namjoon tells John as he shuts the door of his car. “Alright, just text me when you make it back. Have a good night, guys.” John waves, exiting the parking lot in front of Hwasa’s dorm and disappearing in the distance. He dropped off Soyoon and San at their dorms across campus, so he is just headed back to his off-campus apartment. Before you swipe Hwasa’s student ID to enter her dorm, you suddenly feel your stomach churn with nausea. Maybe it was the ride back that made you queasy, or the fact that the only contents in your stomach were alcohol. Without warning, the urge to vomit hits you like a tidal wave, and you bolt towards a nearby bush, clutching your stomach in distress. Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in concern as he watches you rush away. He quickly follows, his footsteps echoing against the pavement as he reaches your side. Without hesitation, he holds your hair up to prevent the puke from sticking to it accidently.

You continue to retch, emptying the contents of your stomach into the bush, Namjoon stays by your side, offering silent support and comfort. His reassuring presence helps to calm your racing heartbeat, grounding you amid your discomfort.

“I-I…really hate throwing up so much,” you admit between gasps, your voice trembling with embarrassment.

“I know,” Namjoon replies softly, his tone understanding. “You should’ve been more cautious.”

You nod weakly, acknowledging his words even as you struggle to regain your composure.

“I know that,” you murmur, pushing yourself upright and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But I was upset...sad…needed something to take my mind off of the stuff with Yoongi and Jimin.” You swipe access and enter the building together.

“Yeah, how did all of that happen?”

“Well, it’s a long story…”

And you proceed to tell him everything that happened, from the night you first had sex with Yoongi all up until the fight that Jimin initiated at Friday Night Game Night two weeks ago. While you told him the story, you got changed, brushed your teeth, and drank some water to rehydrate you after the vomiting. He sat on your bed, watching you do each task and listening to you carefully. 

Once you’ve completed your routine, you join Namjoon on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress beside him.

“I think the answer is obvious, but we made that pact because we’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft as he gazes up at the twinkling string lights that adorn the room. “Sometime during junior year, we were at Yoongi’s house and just started talking about our feelings and didn’t know what to do.” He lays back against your pillows, sighing. “We didn’t want to ruin our friendship with you and we also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Namjoon continues, his tone tinged with regret. “We didn’t think you’d like us back because you were occupied with other guys on your mind back then. So, at that time, we decided to agree that neither of us would pursue you and move on.”

“Except that Yoongi decided to say fuck it,” you interject with a wry smile, remembering the impulsive decision that changed everything.

Namjoon chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, we had tried to move on, though Yoongi probably couldn’t let you go, so he went for it. Can’t believe he did that, but I would’ve done the same if I were in his shoes.”

He turns to you, his expression earnest as he asks, "So, what are you going to do, Tiny? How are you planning to reconcile your friendship with them?"

You pause, feeling stress settle heavily on your shoulders once again. It’s a dilemma you’ve grappled with countless times, each solution more elusive than the last. "I still don't know," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "In an ideal world, I'd love to be with you and them, but is that even possible?"

Namjoon's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your concerns. "That’s a thing, you know," he suggests tentatively. “It’s called being in a polycule together."

You gasp, the concept both surprising and intriguing. "A polycule?" you repeat, your mind racing with possibilities. "Do you think...could that really work?"

Namjoon nods thoughtfully, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. "Maybe," he replies, his voice tinged with cautious optimism. "It's definitely something worth considering, but we'd all have to think about it more and talk it through together."

A polycule. You can’t deny how much you’d be down for the idea. The thought of being in a loving, supportive relationship with Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi is undeniably appealing. However, there are other things to consider, like the future of the relationship and how you could ever present this to your own families. No doubt your parents would get a heart attack. But maybe, you’d figure out how to make this work. You don’t have to publicly get married, maybe you could just frame it as being single forever with your other single best friends. It’d be like that article about the seven Chinese girlfriends buying a mansion to retire and die together. 

You move to straddle Namjoon’s lap excitedly, “I want to try that,” 

Namjoon's expression shifts from contemplative to surprised as you straddle his lap, the sudden change in proximity catching him off guard. He blinks, momentarily taken aback by your boldness, before a soft smile spreads across his lips.

You look at his beautiful deep brown dragon eyes, always so mesmerizing.Your heart flutters at the sight, reassured by the warmth in his gaze. You're acutely aware of the intimate closeness between you, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes, igniting a flicker of desire deep within you.

For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond. He’s caught off guard, thinking about how cute you look being on top of him like this. When he doesn’t respond right away, you give him a puzzled look.

"You're only wearing underwear under your oversized Pokémon t-shirt?" He teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Huh?” Your cheeks redden, “Y-You could tell?”

“Yeah.” 

Your heart skips a beat as Namjoon's hand brushes against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch is gentle yet electrifying.

Before you can fully comprehend what's happening, Namjoon pulls you down, your lips meet his in a kiss full of need and desire.

As your lips meld together in a tender embrace, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and intense. You feel the gentle pressure of Namjoon's lips parting, inviting you into his mouth. With a soft whimper of desire, you accept the invitation, allowing your tongue to dance against his.

He starts undressing you, from your t-shirt to your panties, eager to finally have you after all this time. Once you’re naked, you pull yourself back up and let him bask in the view of you. He’s awestruck by the sight of your perky breasts.

He takes a moment to admire your curves, his eyes lingering on the way your rounded hips fit perfectly into your waist. He traces the line of your belly button with his fingertips, marveling at the way your skin feels under his touch.

You watch him, enjoying the way he looks at you, and suddenly you're desperate for more. You reach down and cupping his face, pulling his lips to yours in a deep, passionate kiss.

Your fingers trail down his arms, tracing the muscles beneath his shirt, as his hands slide up your sides, grazing your ribs before moving up to cup your breasts. His touch feels divine, his fingers gently tugging at your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.

His lips travel down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses as he goes. You can't help but moan softly, your head falling back in pleasure. He runs his tongue over the swell of your collarbone, and then moves downward, his lips leaving a hot, wet trail as he goes. He sucks gently on your nipples, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.

You arch your back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on your body. You feel his hands slide down your belly, the warmth of his fingers tracing circles on your skin. He kisses his way down your stomach, his lips leaving warm, wet kisses in a trail that leads to your hips.

You can feel the anticipation building up inside you. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches the top of your thighs, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. You're not sure what he's going to do next, and that's part of the thrill.

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with desire. He moves to remove his sweatpants, his shirt, and finally his boxer briefs.

You watch him, your eyes widening as he stands before you, completely naked. It's the first time you've seen him without clothes, and it's a sight that takes your breath away. He's been your best friend for so long, and now here he is, vulnerable and exposed in front of you.

His erection sticks up prominently, a testament to his arousal. He's bigger than you expected, and the sight of it makes your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

Before you can think about it, you reach out and touch him, tentatively wrapping your fingers around his shaft. It feels warm and hard in your hand, and you can't help but marvel at how it's throbbing beneath your touch.

He moans softly, and you can tell that he's enjoying your touch. You run your thumb over the head of his penis, feeling the slit that moistens with pre-cum. It's an intimate moment, and you can’t believe this is the first time you’re able to touch him this way.

You stroke him gently, feeling his muscles tense and relax as you do. His hips move subtly, as though he's enjoying your touch. You're grateful for his trust in you, and for the connection that's brought you to this moment.

As you continue to stroke him, you feel his hand on your thigh, gently running his fingers up and down your leg. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to you. It's a sign that he's not only comfortable with where this is going, but that he's also enjoying himself.

He leans in close, his lips brushing against his ear. "I'm so glad we're doing this," he whispers. "I've wanted this for so long,

“And I'm so glad you're here with me."

You can't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. This wasn't just about having sex with Namjoon, but the long, slow burning affection you and Namjoon have likely had for one another. You nod, your cheeks flushed with a mix of arousal and affection.

He smiles warmly at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "I know you're nervous, but don't worry," he reassures you. "We'll take it slow."

You nod, swallowing hard as you take a deep breath. This moment feels like something you've been dreaming about for years, and you're both nervous and excited all at once.

Namjoon's fingers trail up your inner thigh, and you can't help but moan softly as his touch sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You reach down, and tentatively guide his hand towards your now soaked core, your legs parting slightly to allow him access.

He gently slides his fingers between your labia, feeling the dampness and heat that awaits him. You gasp as his fingers brush against your clitoris, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Is this okay?" He murmurs, his voice low and filled with concern. You nod, unable to speak past the desire now coursing through you. “Words, please baby girl.”

The nickname immediately catches you offguard but you don’t comment on it. Your horniness yet again clouding your ability to question things.

“Y-Yes!”

With this confirmation, his fingers slide inside you, two, then three, stretching you gently as he explores your depths. You can't help but moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

"You feel so amazing inside," he whispers, his fingers moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You can't help but thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more.

He leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers continue to thrust inside of you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through you.

As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you can feel your orgasm building. It starts as a gentle tingle, then grows into a throbbing need that courses through your entire body.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice shaking with desire. Namjoon grins, his eyes shining with need as he increases the pace of his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles.

"That's it, baby girl. Cum for me," he urges, his voice low and filled with lust.

Every thrust of his fingers and every circle of his thumb brings you closer to the edge, until finally, you can't take it anymore. The band unwinds and you start to squirm in place.

You lay there, breathing heavily, waiting for the high to go down. You feel somewhat embarassed that he just did this to you and saw you come. You can’t help but want him more of his touch. You want him inside you.

"Namjoon," you breathe, your voice rough with desire. "I want you to be inside me."

His eyes flash with desire, and he pulls his fingers out of you with a soft pop. He moves towards the bed, his erection leading the way.

"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice deep and filled with anticipation.

You nod, your heart racing as you watch him position himself at your entrance. You can feel his knees between your legs, and the heat of his body presses against yours.

"You can do it without the condom, I’m on BC." you whisper, your voice shaking with nerves and desire. “I-I’m ready.”

With one smooth motion, Namjoon pushes himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation. Holy fuck, he’s huge. Can you really fit him in you? You’ve never experienced someone this big. Namjoon senses your discomfort and is about to ask if he should stop, however, you wave him off.

“Please keep going, Joon.” Your body clenches around his erection as he continues, filling you completely to the brim.

"Fuck," he mutters, his eyes locked on yours. "This feels better than I imagined."

He places his hand right below your stomach, and you can see the switch in his demeanor become darker. He smirks at you. “I can even feel myself right here”

“H-Holy shit,” These are the only words you can let out as he starts to further dominate you.

“I’m going to start moving, okay baby?”

“Mhm.” Just nodding in agreement, you brace yourself for what is about to come. Namjoon's eyes never leave yours as he begins to move inside of you, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first before growing more forceful with each passing second. You cry out with each stroke, your nails digging into his back as he fills you completely.

Your hips start meeting his movements, your body craving the sensation of him inside of you. You moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.

His cock slides in and out of you, each thrust bringing a new wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless. You reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders as he continues to fuck you.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he growls, his voice filled with lust. "You're so tight."

As he plunges deeper into you, he leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with yours, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks you harder and faster. You don’t want it to end, but you can feel the building tension within you again, the waves of pleasure threatening to overflow.

Every thrust brings you closer to the edge, and you know that you're not far from coming again. You arch your back, your hips moving in time with his thrusts.

"I'm going to cum," you gasp, your voice shaking with need. Namjoon groans, his eyes locked.

"Then cum for me, baby girl," he growls, his voice deep and filled with lust. He thrusts harder and faster into you, his body bucking against yours as he drives himself deeper into you.

Every thrust of his hips sends another wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending you higher and higher.

You can feel your orgasm building, pulsing through your core, and you know that this time it will be even more intense than before. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive with desire, and you can feel your climax reaching its peak.

"That's it," Namjoon mutters, his voice ragged with desire. "Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you come on my dick."

The words send you over the edge, and you scream his name as you come, your body convulsing around his dick.

"F-Fuck!" you scream, your voice echoing through the room. "Joonie!"

He feels your muscles clenching around him, and he knows that he can’t hold on much longer. He slams into you one last time, his own release building to a shuddering climax inside you.

"I'm cumming," he groans, his voice hoarse with passion. "Fuck, I'm cumming!"

As you both reach the peak of your orgasms, your bodies are shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. Breathing heavily. Sweating tremendously from the heat. Your nerves feel alive, and the overwhelming desire for him grows stronger. 

As the waves of aftershocks subsided, he pulls out of you gently, his cock glistening with your wetness. He breathes heavily, his eyes filled with laughter as he helps you clean up. It has been quite the experience, and you both know that this will probably become a regular part of your love life.

After cleaning up, he helps you into bed, spooning you from behind. You can feel that he was still hard under the sheets, and you giggle at his persistence.

"Joonie, you're still hard," you whisper, a smile on your face.

"I know, but I don't want to cum again just yet," he replies, his voice low and filled with desire. "I want to hold you like this for a while." He caresses your cheek gently.

You snuggle into his arms, your heart full of love for him. You drift off to sleep for a bit, before you wake up again wanting to do it again. This time, spending time pleasuring him. You suck his dick and deepthroat it, despite his worries. 

With this event, you know that your life will never be the same again. Namjoon has forever changed you, as well as Yoongi and Jimin and you couldn't be more grateful.

All that is left is figuring if you can make the polycule idea a reality.

Would it be insane if you’d try it? If you helped initiate the virginity race, then you could do this too. +++++++++++ [Extra POV]

Meanwhile, inside the house, chaos slowly dissipates as Soobin and Taehyun rush to tend to Yeonjun's bloody nose on the floor. Jungkook, guilt-ridden, is apologizing profusely for his friend's actions, his words tumbling out in a rush of remorse.

Beomgyu and Hueningkai, Yeonjun’s other close frat brothers, arrive on the scene. Beomgyu's laughter ringing through the air as he chides Yeonjun for his reckless behavior. 

"Man, you're lucky Namjoon didn't knock you into next week!" he jokes, though there's an edge of concern in his voice. “Can’t believe you thought it was fine to go up against a guy three times bigger than you!”

“Beomgyu, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.” Yeonjun groans as he holds a crumpled tissue paper to his nose waiting for the bleeding to stop.

Hueningkai turns to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok, sighing, "Guys, your friend Namjoon needs to get out of here soon before the cops decide to show up from the commotion," he says, his tone urgent.

Hoseok nods in agreement. "He'll be out soon," he assures them. “They’re outside talking it out. If they don’t wrap it up in 15 minutes, I’m dragging his ass to John’s car or Jungkook’s.” 

“Yoooo, what the hell happened?” Soyoon chimes in with John and San trailing behind her. She looks at the sight in the living room all confused.

“The guy on the floor is Honey’s ex and Namjoon fought him because he was being an ass.” Jungkook summarizes, make the three nod in understanding.

“God, can you all shut up and stop talking about–” Yeonjun winces in pain, making Soobin panic.

Taehyun, his patience wearing thin, scolds Yeonjun sternly. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" he chastises. "Jungkook told me Namjoon is in the gym five times a week, and all you do is shotgun beers and chase tri delts."

Taehyung chuckles at the remark, unable to resist the humor in the situation. "Yeah, you might want to rethink your strategy next time, buddy," he quips, though there's an underlying seriousness to his tone.

“I wanted to be friends with Y/N again.” Yeonjun slurs, his lips pouting out. “Can I have another drink?”

“But you see where that got you!” Soobin intervenes. "And no!” He firmly denies Yeonjun's request for another drink. "You've had enough drinks for one night, Jjun.” 

Yeonjun grumbles in protest, but Soobin's resolve is unwavering. With a supportive arm, he helps Yeonjun stand up, steadying him as they both rise. "I think you should go to bed," Soobin suggests softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "We'll handle slowly dispersing people out and tell them to go to another party."

Yeonjun nods. Beomgyu and Hueningkai step forward to offer their assistance. Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun's shoulders, offering him a supportive grip, while Hueningkai moves to steady him from the other side.

"Let's get you to bed, man," Beomgyu says with a sympathetic smile, his tone reassuring.

Yeonjun leans on them for support, grateful for their presence as they navigate through the crowd. 

But as he stumbled along with his friends' support, Yeonjun couldn't ignore the nagging feeling of regret gnawing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hostile, towards you or Namjoon. It wasn't fair to you at all. It wasn’t why he wanted to talk to you anyways

He couldn't shake the guilt that washed over him as he thought about your past together. He'd acted out of jealousy and hurt, hoping to reclaim a piece of something that was long gone. But now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he realized how foolish he'd been.

With this, he’s closing the door forever.

All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep off the alcohol-induced haze.

-

-

-

tbc !!!!! :D

a/n: 3 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. we are getting closer and closer to the eventual polycule we might get... or not. this was probably the most exciting chapter to write because it was planned since LAST AUGUST. literally before any chapter of this series dropped. rae and i had been plotting the yeonjun v. namjoon fight since then and ironically yeonjun was in apartment 404 and filmed a fight scene. so thank me for manifesting yeonjun fighting lmao. it took me a little over a month to write because i had job interviews and rae was busy with life/school to edit as well so apologies on the delay, but it is here now. i will try to work on ch 10 and make sure it doesn't take to long, but i have to be job searching so it might take some time again. the goal is to finish this series before the anniversary in late august so we will see. would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house next chapter. thank you all for reading!

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Quinn Hughes Edition (Two)

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: one

next: three

trevor's game

i’m so behind i’m so sorry! and i’m sorry it's short!

OCTOBER 14, 2024

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, jackhughes, and 11,353 others

yourusername ladies and gentlecars, welcome back to my post game penalty box update show!

today, october 14th, not only is it the anniversary of my best friend and brother being born, but it's also the day that the canucks won against the oilers again!

last game, leon draisaitl said "it's good to get smacked around a bit." when he scored 42 seconds in, i was worried the oilers would get their revenge, but my fear was proven to be useless! we won 4-3! AND quinny got an assist on kuzy's goal! what a lovely birthday present! (mine was better, but this is a good one, too) and shoutout to hyman for quite literally carrying quinn into the glass, that was a gift for me! so kind!

ANYHOOZLE— quinny, i’m so proud of you! you're popping off this season already and it's only been two games! i love you way past infinity💙 keep it up, bestie! and happy birthday, once again <3

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 236 comments

_quinnhughes i love you way past infinity💙 we need to talk about the tweet in the last photo

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oliviaabonn @/yourusername ❤️

user12 SMILEY QUINN AHH

user8 i didn't notice that hyman lifted quinn AHA

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes you're going to need to give y/n a penalty at some point

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jackhughes @/trevorzegras you don't know shit

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trevorzegras @/yourusername somehow, that was ominous

jackhughes @/trevorzegras she puts the terror in twins of terror

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/jackhughes BIRTHDAY CLAUSE

yourusername @_quinnhughes IF we made that bet, it would not be game specific, therefore we would not have broken the birthday clause

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras trust fear

user67 we've got a "high and scared" quinn pic! hallelujah!

lhughes_06 what if i don't want to be a gentlecar?

yourusername are you telling me you're a lady car?

lhughes_06 no! i'm telling you i’m a rough car

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lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes i see it now

yourusername i'm in LOVE with my caAARRR!

jackhughes @/yourusername that just makes it sound like you're in love with luke

trevorzegras @/yourusername @/lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes @/jackhughes stop... just stop talking... i'm begging

user51 quinn giving the kid a puck i'm-😭

colecaufield @_quinnhughes LAME

_quinnhughes @/colecaufield just because your captain got a penalty tonight doesn't mean that all captains should've gotten a penalty

yourusername @_quinnhughes i disagree.

colecaufield @_quinnhughes and i agree with whatever she says

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes me too

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/colecaufield @.trevorzegras i didn't ask

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes i repeat: 24 has made you mean

yourusername @/trevorzegras you can't call him mean on his birthday!

trevorzegras @/yourusername what would you call him?!

yourusername @/trevorzegras spicy nice

_quinnhughes @/yourusername i- sure

trevorzegras @/yourusername this is why i love you

yourusername @/trevorzegras always?

trevorzegras @/yourusername forever❤️

user21 WHAT is going on in that sixth pic omfg

user38 the fact that the canucks won 4-3 when quinn is 43 on quinn's birthday is so poetic

liked by yourusername

jackhughes @_quinnhughes next time fight draisaitl

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes i’d rather not die

colecaufield @_quinnhughes but you'd give the princess so much joy!

yourusername @/colecaufield idk i think drai could demolish him and i kinda wanna keep him

_quinnhughes @/yourusername who are you and what have you done with sissy?

trevorzegras @/yourusername you want all of us to fight jamie benn

yourusername @/trevorzegras i'd accept your death if it meant i got to see a jamie benn fight

_quinnhughes @/yourusername there's my girl

[queerdisagreeable]

TMP/Magnus Kickstarter Update

Hi all! We just got a huuuuge Kickstarter update, and I thought I'd share the TL;DR that we (the mods of Statement Remains) put together to give people a hand navigating it!

TMP News - The digital premiere will be available on October 22nd for backers at the Archival Assistant level and above, and for Knight & Noble Patreons. - It will include a preview of The Magnus Protocol pilot episode and some exclusive bonus content. - The audio of the preview episode, without the extra content, will be released to KS backers at the Researchers level and above on 31st October.

- There will be a post-premiere livestream on Twitch with cast and crew, sometime after the 31st

- All the pre-launch previews will be exclusive to backers and patrons, but the official debut (in January 2024) will have new content not seen in the previews (including the full orchestral debut)

- The double length pilot episode releases Jan 2024, with a weekly release schedule following (and a 2 week break every 10 episodes)

- They are currently finalising script drafts for season 1, writing for seasons 2 and 3, doing primary recordings for episodes, and editing the Pilot episode

Casting Announcements - Meet Alice Dyer, played by Seer Pink (they/them). You may know Seer from streaming/tiktok -- this is their RQ debut! - Meet Samama Kahlid, played by Shahan Hamza (he/him). Shahan has previously played Siva in Trice Forgotten!

Other Castings - Anusia Battersby (she/her) as Gwendolyn Bouchard - Lowri Ann Davies (she/her) as Celia Ripley - Ryan Hopevere-Anderson (he/him) as Colin Becher - Kazeem Tosin Amore (he/him) as Teddy Vaughn - Sarah Lambie (she/her) as Lena Kelley - Ellie Dickens (she/her) as Lady Mowbray - Tim Fearon (he/him) as [ERROR] - Alexander J Newall (he/him) as [ERROR] - Jonathan Sims (he/him) as [ERROR]

There are "multiple returning friends and enemies from The Magnus Archives", but revealing them now would be a spoiler!

Making-Of Documentary - The documentary is well underway! - It will feature candids from meetings, interviews, and video diaries from Jonny and Alex! - The full version will air after the series is concluded, but a teaser segment will be released alongside the premiere!

ARG Updates - Official start date: **15 September**

- Far larger scale than the mini-ARG, featuring both digital and in-person elements - Will feature lots of worldbuilding and exclusive story that will provide an even deeper insight into the world of TMP

- Bookmark https://themagnusprotocolarg.com! This will be the main ARG hub! - Questions about the ARG can go to arg@rustyquill.com. They will not provide hints/help solve the puzzles.

- Important note from the ARG site: Participants of this ARG must be over 18 for legal reasons.

Mic Updates - The Podcast Pro mics are nearly ready to start shipping. They are finalising packaging and etching the finished microphones!

---

And a quick note from me on behalf of the SR server! We're currently looking for mods to bolster our team, so that we can feasibly host the ARG solving efforts! If you're interested, you can join the Discord here: https://discord.gg/h6bkdqc5yd

[animal-jam-shitposting]

COMPILATION OF EVERY ANIMAL JAM CLASSIC INTRO

(thank you to @toneinaflat for finding the first two videos!)

0. Beta Testing

i don't know what introduction (if any) was used during beta testing! (beta testing happened from ~march 2010 (closed beta) to september 8, 2010). i think it's probably the introduction shown in #1, but if you have any more info, please let me know!

1. Liza in Jamaa Township (original)

video posted october 1, 2011

started: either beta testing (march 2010-early september 2010) or the official release of the game on september 9, 2010

ended: some time between october 18, 2012 and december 14, 2012 (likely closer to december 14)

this is the original intro to animal jam! it shows liza around the mira statue in jamaa township, where she explains some background lore of jamaa (about mira especially), and some in game functions: moving, changing animal colors, getting achievements, and checking your gems. it's the earliest version of the lore, where "alphas" are called "shamans".

2. 3d Liza in Jamaa Township (update)

video posted december 14, 2012

started: some time between october 18, 2012 and december 14, 2012 (likely closer to december 14)

ended: february 6, 2014

this is an edited version of the original intro. it uses a new, jarringly 3d looking, model for liza, and has an updated introduction to the lore. liza's beginning explanation of mira is replaced with the "return of the alphas" cutscene also shown in the blue heron intro, and the "shamans" were renamed to "alphas". otherwise, this intro is identical to the previous

3. The Blue Heron

video posted february 6, 2014

started: february 6, 2014 (jamaa journal announcing it released on this date)

ended: january 23, 2015

this is the first major change in introduction! the player spawns in on a ship named the blue heron, that is modeled after mira. liza is piloting the ship, and gives you an introduction to jamaa. she introduces you to some in game functions: moving, changing color, checking your gems, and buying from shops. she also gives the option to "Learn about Jamaa's history", via watching the "return of the alphas" cutscene. at the end, the boat pulls in front of jamaa township.

fun fact: this was the only introduction that you could access without making a new account! when this introduction was released, they added an option in the settings to do this tutorial! (shown in the video, i actually couldn't find a video of this tutorial that started from the create an account screen). this option was removed an unknown amount of time later

4. Peck Intro

video posted january 23, 2015

started: january 23, 2015

ended: never 👍 (this is the current intro)

this intro changes the alpha greeting you from liza to peck. the player spawns into a long, forest-y room, and is greeted by peck. she takes you over a bridge to see a bunch of randomly generated animals that are spamming emotes and bubble chat phrases. she introduces you to some in game features: moving, changing color, using emotes, and checking your gems.

fun fact: from november 2016 to march 30, 2017, completing this tutorial would send you to the welcome party, an edited version of the jam session party that has other new jammers whose accounts were just created (if there were any online then....). this party had a singular clothing shop, the same "Clothing Shop" (literally its name) as the one on the blue heron. the end of peck's dialog in the main room is slightly changed to reference this party

BONUS: WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE TUTORIAL?:

after almost all of these intros, you spawn in jamaa township.

at first, completing the original intro would just spawn you in the middle of jamaa township and open up the jamaa journal and daily spin

but then, sometime before october 18, 2012*, the ending was somewhat changed. now it showed the avatar walking from the mira statue area to the middle of the town, and then the player was given this screen:

* why this date specifically? because this video of someone being mean to liza during the intro shows this new ending, and was posted on that date

however, i am almost certain that this was actually implemented on march 1, 2012; because that was the date that the loading screens were changed to their new (and current) format (date gotten from the animal jam wiki)

this end screen stayed for a while, but was minorly changed for the blue heron intro, and stayed that way for the first few years of the peck intro— "explore jamaa" was changed to "go on an adventure":

also, in the blue heron intro you're seen running up from the bottom of jamaa township (from the body of water where the boat dropped you off!). this is kept for the peck intro, although that direction doesn't make as much sense from that one.

when the welcome party existed from november 2016 to march 2017, the peck intro would lead to that party, but then the party had a path leading to jamaa township, in this same fashion. (video of this)

however, once the welcome party left on march 30, 2017, it seems this screen did too. because now, after the tutorial, the player automatically spawns in their den, where peck's den tutorial starts... guess our choice is made for us! (video of this). this date also marked the change in the items that a new jammer has from the get-go: originally new jammers got a sturdy table and a blue rug, but past 3/30/2017, new jammers get a rug, table, small window, chair, couch, lamp, and houseplant

speaking of den tutorials, a brief note:

ever since the peck intro, peck has always done the den tutorial. but i did read somewhere in my research that liza did the den tutorial beforehand— but i haven't found any pictures or videos on it, so you'll just have to take my word on that (if any of you have any pictures or videos of the liza den tutorial, or even a post talking about it, please send it to me!)

this has been information on every animal jam intro, thanks for reading 👍

[fandomgirlz01]

Love Uncovered Pt. 5

Colby Brock x Reader

Prompt?: No

Request?: Yes

Requested prompt?: No

Edited: Yes

Word count: 4,737

Ko-fi

Master List

Warnings Here

You can listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}. 

Post Date: October 5th 2023

Post Time: 11:54pm

Author's note: I will be changing this chapter up a bit more from the video. The last few chapters have stuck pretty closely to the videos, but this one might be changing up just a bit for me to fit it into the story. I will also be attempting to talk about aura stuff again, but I’ve never studied that stuff or anything so you guys who do, please just bear with me and if I say something incorrect please please please educate me on it. I will never ever pass up if you guys tell me something is wrong in what I’ve written, I will simply just try my best to go back and fix it. So please just bear with me and enjoy the story. 

Based off of this video:

Y/n’s Pov:

After a few minutes, Amanda is the first to move as she takes a step back and the rest of us look up. Sam stands behind me as Colby stands off to the side with the camera on us. Amanda steps back a little ways from us as Stas moves next to Sam now. 

“I just put protection over y/n, Stas and Kat. Nothing is allowed to touch you, nothing is allowed to come near you,” she promises us as she explains to the camera what she’d just done before pausing. 

“You might see things-” Amanda starts again before Stas speaks up, cutting her off as one of the bells makes a small chime sound. 

“Dude it’s just- I can’t. That freaked me out,” Stas comments as she reaches out to the bell. 

“That I can’t stop,” Amanda finishes as Sam holds up another bell. 

“Someone’s gotta go upstairs and put some up there,” he comments, holding a bell out. 

“I’ll do it,” Amanda adds as she reaches for the bell from Sam. 

“Someone’s gotta help you, though,” Sam tells her and everyone looks around for a moment. 

“I mean he’s got a point. You can’t do the entire upstairs alone. I’ll come with you,” Colby speaks up as he reaches out to grab some bells from Sam. 

“What about y/n?” Sam asks as he hands him the bells. 

“I can go with them. Just have to stay with Colby,” I inform and Colby turns, smiling at me. 

“That’s a good idea, babe,” Colby agrees with me and I smile softly at him. 

“Ok. Then let’s go,” Amanda agrees before heading towards the stairs. 

Colby looks at me as if questioning if I’m ready and I hesitantly nod. He smiles softly at me before grabbing my hand and I give him a confused look. He keeps a calm smile on his face as he gently puts my hand on his back, right next to his back belt loop. 

I smile in understanding as I loop my finger through the loop. He grins this time before leaning back a bit to kiss my cheek. 

“Come on. Let’s go babe,” he comments as he starts to walk and I smile softly before following him in the direction Amanda had gone. 

We meet up with her next to the stairs and she goes up a few of them as we stop at the bottom. She turns to us, holding her bell out. 

“We've got the duty of going upstairs,” Colby comments humorously and he smiles. 

“How did we get so lucky?” Amanda jokes back, making both me and Colby laugh. 

“I know. The most haunted spot,” Colby comments back and I feel a shiver go down my neck as we start the rest of the way up the stairs.

We make it up the stairs and decide to split up and go separate ways. Colby and I go and hang some on one side of the upstairs as Amanda goes the other way. Once we’re done, Colby checks in on me and smiles once I tell him I’m doing ok. 

When he knows I’m fine, we decide to meet up with Amanda in the middle. We walk up to her as she hangs her last bell on the door handle on the outside of the small hall to the birthing room. 

“There’s something in that back room,” she informs us as we come up next to her.

“I just watched it,” she finishes as she continues to tie the string to the door. 

Once she’s done, she stands straight and walks back into the room. Colby and I follow her as she grabs another bell from the bed. 

“I haven’t told Stas yet or you, y/n, I told you guys before we even came here when I was giving you a low down on the spirits,” she explains to us while playing with the string in her hand as she looks at Colby, who gives a small ‘yeah,’ in conformation. 

“They disguise themselves as children and pets,” Amanda continues explaining and Colby agrees, repeating ‘that they disguise themselves,’ in awe as he remembers what she’d said. 

“That’s why she goes ‘I just saw the little boy,’ and I let her know that was not a-” Amanda explains but pauses and Colby interjects. 

“That was not a little boy,” Colby adds in shock and Amanda closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again. 

“Was not a little boy,” she repeats in confirmation of what Colby said. 

“So when we first came there were two children I told you about, right?” she asks and Colby nods as she takes a step back, beginning to play with the string in her hand. 

“Right. Right. They were happy, right? They were like, trying to like, play games?” Colby asks for confirmation and Amanda gets happy as she explains farther. 

“Yeah. One of them was shy. The little girl was shy, but the boy, he kept like, peeking his head around the corner like…” she describes as she motions what she’s trying to explain. 

“Like, are you gonna come chase me?” she continues to explain and Colby nods in agreement, giving a very audible ‘yeah.’

“So I think it’s insane that when the negative thing came through it disguised himself as a little boy,” Amanda tells us with an expression full of awe. 

“And Stas, as scared as she was, would feel more comfortable with it because I told her about the little boy here,” Amanda explains as she points to herself. 

“Manda?” I ask, moving around Colby and hugging on his arm. 

“Yeah? What’s up, y/n?” she asks me, giving Colby and I a small smile.

“Do you think Stas’s little boy could be the one taking interest in me?” I ask and she gasps as her face lights up. 

“That’s a very real possibility. Did you feel sick or anything when she said she’d seen him?” she asks and I take a moment to think it over. 

“Well, now that you mention it, no, but me and Colby were connected then. He was cuddled up to me behind the camera,” I explain and she nods vigorously. 

“I think you might have a point. It could have been him trying to get to you,” she agrees, nodding. 

“The little girl could possibly have been the lady that was pointing at you earlier too,” she explains and my face falls. 

“So he can change forms, great,” I roll my eyes and Colby rubs my arm lightly. 

“I’m right here. He can’t hurt you while I’m here and Amanda put a protection over you, but I get it if you want to leave. I’ll take you home right now,” Colby tells me but I sigh, shaking my head. 

“No. You’re right. He can’t hurt me. I’ll be okay,” I promise him with a nod and he smiles softly. 

“Okay, but at any point if you want to leave, just tell me,” he informs me and I nod. 

“I promise I will,” I tell him softly before reaching up on my tip-toes to leave a kiss on his cheek. 

“Ok. Let’s finish putting these up, then we can go back to the rest of the group,” Amanda comments before moving away to start hanging the last few bells. 

We hang a few more and I stay with Colby the whole time. He walks over to the closet and pulls it open. 

“Oh my God,” he exclaims as he looks into it. 

“What?” Me and Amanda ask in unison. 

“This closet is huge. It goes like, all the way around. It’s like a secret crawl space area,” Colby says in shock as he looks into the deep closet. 

“This house has-” Amanda starts, but pauses to listen. “Did you hear that in there?” she asks after a moment, making Colby turn around. 

“No. What was that? I missed it,” Colby comments before going quiet so we can all listen. 

“Can you hear the walking?” Amanda asks as she looks up at us and I nod while Colby gives out a very audible ’yeah’. 

“That’s the exact room that when we walked up here I told you something was back there,” Amanda tells us in amazement and I shiver lightly. 

“I don’t like that…” I speak out and Colby nods before reaching down for my hand. 

He squeezes my hand softly as we all stay quiet for a moment. When we clearly can’t hear the sound anymore, Colby stands straight and starts to look around again. I follow him over to the bedside table and together we look at what’s on it. 

“They got a bunch of things that little kids would like to play with here, too. Like toy cars, jellybeans?” Colby comments as he lets go of my hand for a moment to pick the car up before smacking the pack of jelly beans. The car then starts to roll back off the table, but Colby quickly catches it before setting it back down. 

“Babe. Don’t do that, what if the spirits like, get mad at you for messing with their stuff,” I lightly admonish him as I slap his arm and he chuckles. 

“It’s not like I took them. Just gave them a small little tap,” he replies and I shake my head, rolling my eyes. 

“Oh, put the car on the ground,” Amanda speaks up as she turns to us. 

“Ok,” Colby agrees as he picks it back up and together we both turn around. 

“Let’s find out,” Colby comments as he steps back to watch it with the camera. 

We watch the car for a moment but nothing happens, so Colby bends down and scoops it up off the floor with a quick ‘alright,’. He walks back over to the table and sets it back down before turning to me and offering his hand. Colby, Amanda, and I start walking though towards the stairs. 

“Woah. Woah. Wait. Amanda, do you mind talking about some more details about ghosts real quick?” he asks and she smiles, nodding. 

“Of course,” she sweetly answers and Colby grins. 

“Sweet. Ok, ah… sweetheart, do you mind holding the camera for me?” Colby asks and I smile softly at him before nodding and holding my hand out to him. 

“Thanks, babe,” he tells me after handing it off to me and kissing my cheek. 

“Ok… the number one question people wanna know is like, what do these spirits or entities or demons whatever you see look like?” Colby asks her as he claps his hands together. 

“Are they happy, are they expressionless, is it as clear as, like, a person that you're seeing?” Colby asks, using his hands to animate his words. 

“It doesn’t look like a person, but it’ll be as clear as like, if you were just standing there dressed in all black,” she explains, motioning with her head where she means.

“I grew up with a spirit in my home and I-” she starts to say before pausing and turning along with Colby when there’s a thump in the back of the room.

We all pause and listen for a moment. The sound soon becomes distinct and we can tell it’s the others of our group. 

“Oh god, they're coming upstairs,” Colby breathes out in relief as we hear their distinctive footsteps and voices now. 

“Geez, we’re literally talking about demons and that happens, not down,” Amanda comments as Colby lets out a big puff of air. 

“The demon I grew up with in my house… looks like a person most of the time. He was much, much taller, much, much thinner and he had red eyes,” Amanda continues to explain just as Sam walks into the room and she looks over at him. 

“I saw a spirit when I was with you and you asked me to describe it,” Amanda adds on and Colby nods as Sam walks farther into the room. 

“Yeah. At the Lizzy Borden house,” he clarifies as he nods and so does she. 

“It was extremely tall, probably seven feet tall, very, very thin. Like unhumanly thin,” she tells us before pausing to look at Sam. 

“Are we ready to head to the seance room?” Sam asks and we all nod. 

“Here. I can take the camera and set it up,” Sam tells me as he comes over and takes it from me. 

He then walks back over to the stairs and starts to head down so he can set it up. I walk over to Colby and he smiles softly at me as he reaches his hand out to me. I grin and grab onto his hand. He gently pulls me along as we follow the others back down the stairs. 

Once we’re in the seance room, we all sit down and Colby sits down first, gently pulling me onto his lap for a moment and cuddles me. 

“You doing okay?” he mumbles into my ear as he leaves a light kiss on my neck. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’ve been absolutely fine the whole time you’ve been with me,” I whisper back to him and I feel him smile against my neck. 

“Good. I love you,” he mumbles back and I smile, squeezing his hand that sits on my stomach. 

“I love you, too, nugget. Always,” I reply and he nuzzles into my shoulder. 

“Okay. I think we’re ready. Enough canoodling, you two,” Sam jokes as he playfully rolls his eyes, making Colby and I laugh. 

“Okay. Okay. Can we please get this started?” Stas asks and Colby groans. 

“Fine,” Colby groans out as he lets go of me so I can get off his lap. 

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll be right here next to you the whole time. Wanna hold hands?” I ask as I take the spot right next to him and hold my hand out to him. 

“How well do you know me? Of course I wanna hold hands,” Colby quips as he grabs my hand and I giggle as we hide them behind ourselves. 

Kat laughs as she sits down next to me on my left and Stas sits to her left and they grab each other's hands. Sam sits down to Colby’s right and Amanda sits in the chair to the right of Sam with her headphones in her hand along with a notebook. 

“Okay, are we ready to start?” Sam asks and we all nod. 

“Okay, then. We are in the seance room,” Sam explains for the camera, “Where Ed Lorraine Warren performed a seance on Carolyn and she literally levitated.”

“She is going to wear noise canceling headphones on a spirit box,” Sam points to Amanda before pointing to his own ear. “Basically letting us know whatever she hears. We’re gonna be asking questions, kinda as we were saying we have ping pong balls, bells all over the place, the entire house.”

“Upstairs as well,” Colby adds, pointing up before grabbing my hand behind our backs again. 

“So if we hear anything happening, we’ll be able to catch it,” Sam continues while Colby rubs my hand a bit and I have to hold myself back from cuddling more into him. 

“Starting this recording, see if we catch any evps,” Sam states as he holds the device he’s using out for the camera to see before he sets it on the ground. 

“It just said Borden,” Amanda speaks just as Sam sits back. 

“Borden?” Colby questions, his eyes widening ever so slightly as Sam quickly looks at him with his hand over his lips. 

“We just said that they were very similar cases,” Sam comments in shock as he looks at Colby, who agrees. 

“Okay. We’re going to turn on this other spirit box, put it right here just in case we get things on it as well,” Sam explains to the camera as he holds the device up and out to the camera. 

“Okay. Should we start asking questions?” Colby asks Sam, who nods. 

“Yeah, let’s start,” Colby agrees and Sam nods. 

“Okay. Ah, is there any spirit here that wants to talk to us?” Sam asks out into the air and we all stay quiet as we wait. 

Colby turns and looks up at a corner behind me. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine. We stay quiet for a little more and I push the feeling of cuddling up to his side away. 

“Can you please, like move something?” Sam again asks into the air and it’s quiet for a moment. 

“Not Colby,” Amanda almost yells out as Sam looks at Colby, shocked. 

“Isn’t that silly?” Sam asks as he points at the device on the floor. 

“Kill,” comes an ominous voice from the device and Colby’s mouth falls open, as does mine. He turns to the camera before looking at me. 

“Wait… Wait… Wait. Did that just say what I think it did?” I ask and Colby slowly nods to confirm my question. 

“Are you a bad spirit?” Sam asks and it goes quiet again. 

“Kill Colby?” Colby questions and I shake my head. 

“That’s what it sounded like…” I tell him as I tighten my hold on his hand. 

“All only here,” Amanda speaks and we all listen as carefully as we can. 

“Is there anything here that can give us a sign at all? We have bells around this entire house. If you can, just make them ring. We want to talk to you,” Colby calls out and we all pause. 

Some time passes and it just stays quiet. I continue to keep Colby’s hand tightly gripped in mine.

“I don’t like this…” I whisper into his ear and he nods in agreement. 

“It’s okay. I’m right here,” Colby replies back as he rubs my hand and it again goes quiet for a while. 

“There’s someone here with us,” Amanda informs us as Sam sets the device he had in his hand down on the ground. 

“Can you make yourself known if you're here with us?” Sam questions and then there’s a faint shuffle sound. 

Colby looks up in shock, first he looks at me, then he turns to Sam, who looks back at him with the same amount of shock. Katrina holds the phone, but after giving me a look she leans back a bit and lays the phone on her thigh. She grabs my hand and holds it like she holds Stas’s. She squeezes my hand and it helps my worry only slightly. 

“Woah, what was that?” Colby asks as he looks at Sam again. 

“There was a huge crack,” Sam comments as he and Colby turn away from looking at each other. 

“It sounded like a shuffle almost,” Colby comments. “Was that you that just made that noise?” he goes on to ask and I squeeze his hand again. 

“Yes,” comes Amanda’s voice and Colby jumps. 

“Yes?” Sam asks Amanda and she nods at him as Stas lets out an “oh,” while bringing her hand up to her lips. 

“Can you make a noise closer to us? We’d love for you to come sit with us,” Sam asks the spirit, making us give each other worried looks. Amanda shakes her head no and rubs her chest. 

“Um… no… no,” Kat tells him, shaking her head at him. “Sam, we can’t do that,” Kat continues to tell him while still shaking her head and he just lightly grins. 

“Sam, let’s not do that, unless you want to switch spots with me right now,” Stas informs him in a very matter of fact tone and suddenly the sick feeling I’ve had throughout the day comes back. 

“Y/n is literally shaking after that, Sam, no,” Kat sternly comments as both her and Colby rub my hands. 

“I’m okay. Just had a small bout of that sick feeling,” I inform them and Colby shakes his head. 

“Sam, I second not inviting the spirit. If it’s gonna affect y/n, we don’t do it,” Colby sternly agrees with Kat and I shake my head. 

“Colby. Hon, I’m okay. Honestly,” I inform him, squeezing his hand for more reassurance. 

“Yo, is my chest red?” Amanda cuts in to ask as she scratches at her chest. “It felt like something just scratched me,” Amanda tells us.

“No. It doesn’t look red,” Kat replies, shaking her head. 

“Ok. That scratch just felt like something is mad,” Amanda adds in and the chill of sickness comes back ever so slightly, but goes away as quickly.

“We know you’re in this room with us. Can you show yourself?” Colby asks as he rubs at his chin with his other hand and both Kat and I quickly look at him. 

“Babe, why are you asking it to show itself? No,” I tell him, shaking my head before it goes quiet again and Colby lightly rubs my lower back.

“I’m here,” Amanda calls out and the sick feeling comes back for the millionth time, except this time it stays even though Colby still holds my hand. 

“He’s here,” Amanda continues to say what she hears. 

“Who’s here?” I ask, looking at Colby and growing a little more scared as the sick feeling slowly intensifies.

Colby shrugs as it goes quiet and stays that way. After a while of nothing coming through, Sam decides to switch places with Amanda. Colby picks up the device Sam had put on the ground, then scoots down to the end of the couch and I scoot after him.

“Alright, Sam’s trying this now. Do we have somebody-” Colby starts as he looks around, but the voice from the device cuts him off. 

“News,” the device’s voice speaks out and Colby turns back to look at the device in his hand. 

“News?” Colby repeats it in confusion. 

“News?” Stas asks and Colby repeats it, nodding. 

“Did you have any news for us?” Stas asks softly and Colby scratches his forehead. 

“Is there news that you want to tell us?” Colby asks. 

“No, there was a hanging in the barn. A noose,” Amanda cuts in and another chill runs down my back.

“Noose. Interesting," Colby comments as Stas hums. The sick feeling continues to get worse and worse, but for some reason I can’t get any words out. 

“Just ask,” Sam speaks as he holds a hand over his right earphone. 

“Were you the person that got hung here?” Stas asks as I try to open my mouth and talk, but my tongue feels heavy and my mouth just won’t move. 

“Help,” Sam again speaks out what he hears. 

“Are you the spirit that tormented the Perron family?” Amanda asks. “No one ask another question for a moment,” Amanda informs us and we all stay quiet. 

“God,” Sam says out loud and now I try to squeeze Colby’s hand to tell him how I’m feeling, but it’s like I’m just frozen and can’t. 

“Don’t ask anything else. Wait,” Amanda adds in and again everyone is silent. 

“Not here,” Sam again says what he heard. 

“Who are you?” Amanda asks. “Are you the demon that tormented the Perron family?” Amanda again asks, only this time a little more sternly. 

We wait for a few minutes with no response coming from Sam. Finally the sick feeling seems to just wash away and I’m confused. 

“Possible,” Sam says, making me stop to listen and forget about it. “Freedom,” he continues to tell us what he hears. 

“Are you- are you- can you not leave? Are you trapped here?” Amanda asks as she tries to figure it all out. 

“Do you need to escape?” Colby asks as he looks over at Amanda. 

“Modern gate,” Sam says and Amanda seems to get involved more now. 

“Is there-” Amanda starts to ask, but then Sam says, “Limits,” repeating what he hears. 

“Is there some kind of gate or limit and reason you're not allowed to leave this home?” Amanda continues her question and we all pause. 

“Though,” Colby reads the word on his device out loud. 

“Are you trying-” Colby starts to ask something, but gets cut off by Sam saying “Found me”. 

“I was literally just about to say I feel like we connected-” Amanda starts, but Sam cuts her off again with “Coat.” 

“There was a guy right over here,” Amanda explains as she points over to her left. “He looks like a soldier.”

“Really? Like the story of the seven soldiers?” Colby asks as Stas hums. 

“He looks like one of the three that I saw walking outside. He’s in like, like-” Amanda tries to explain, but Sam cuts her off with a “Believe.” 

“Believe?” Colby questions as Amanda gives a look of confusion. 

“He’s in light colored clothes,” Amanda explains with a look of worry. 

“Hello, Protect,” Sam again says now and we all look at each other with even more confusion. 

“Why would he say protect? Protect what?” I finally find my words again and Colby squeezes my hand. 

“I don’t know, but I was literally about to say, he wants to talk to us,” Amanda adds as we all look at each other. 

“Focus,” Sam speaks out again. 

“We need to believe and focus more?” Colby guesses as he sighs, rubbing his face. 

“Do you remember the Perron family?” Colby asks and it goes quiet for another moment as Colby sits with his hand on his closed eye. 

“Be with me,” Sam says what he’d heard and again the sick feeling creeps up. 

“We’re here?” Colby says, confused before it falls silent again for a good while. 

“Underground,” Sam eventually speaks out. 

“Underground…” Colby repeats under his breath. 

“Basement,” Colby adds in realization. 

“Do you wanna-” Amanda starts to ask, but Sam cuts her off, saying “Stuck.” 

“Are you stuck in the basement? Do you want us to go down in the basement?” Amanda asks, but again there’s no response as we wait a while. 

“Please,” Sam finally speaks up. 

“What’s in the basement?” Amanda asks and after she does, there’s a knock that sounds off. 

“Heaven,” Sam says and soon it goes quiet again. 

We wait about a minute before Sam pulls the headphones off and gives Colby an incredulous look. 

“Whoa,” Colby comments as he lets out a breath. 

“What happened?” Sam asks after he sees Colby’s reaction. 

“We think there’s a soldier here that is just saying that he wants us to be with him and like that he’s been trying to escape this sort of hell and find heaven, but he can’t,” Colby explains and Sam nods understandably. 

“Also when we said, like, ‘do you want us to go to the basement’, you said please,” Stas chimes in and helps explain what happened to Sam. 

“I wrote down some things. I wrote ‘not ever out’ and ‘protect’. Those are the things that stuck out most,” Amanda informs Sam as she clicks her pen and reads over the words. 

“It was really difficult to hear when you guys weren’t asking questions,” Sam informs us as he looks away for a moment then back. 

“Yeah, when we were all quiet, we just tried to be quiet for a couple times, you would never say anything,” Colby explains as he points at Sam. 

“Weird!” Sam explains as his eyes widen. 

“Yeah! That- that’s weird,” Stas agrees in a shocked tone. 

“I didn’t even think about that,” Amanda adds into the conversation. 

“True… yeah,” Kat says, nodding and smiling a little. 

“What the f***?” Sam questions in astonishment. 

“Anyone else wanna try to see what we’ll get?” Sam asks as he looks between all of us. 

“I think I will,” Colby speaks up and he goes to get up after Sam nods. 

“Colby. I don’t know. Something feels off,” I tell him as I hold onto his arm. 

“It’ll be okay, babe, I’m sure it’s just nerves,” Colby replies before he leaves a kiss on my cheek. 

I sigh, shaking my head as he gets up, switching places with Sam. As soon as he leaves, the sick feeling comes crashing down on me tenfold. I try to call out to tell them, but like before my tongue feels like dead weight in my mouth. I watch helplessly as he sits there with the headphones over his ears and Sam holds the device. Tears form in my water line, but for some reason I can’t actually shed any. 

To Be Continued….

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[sjmvillainweek]

SJM Villain Week Rules/FAQ

Welcome to SJM Villain Week taking place on the 1st - 7th of October to kick off the scariest month of the year.

In order to inspire creativity within the fandom, we are running a prompt submission form to collect your ideas for what the prompts should be for the event! Each day will have two prompts, as well as a free day on the seventh.

The prompt submission form is now CLOSED, the prompts list will be up soon!

Click the read more to see the rules and FAQ for this event week!

To help this event run smoothly, here are the rules to follow-

This event is about the big bad guys of the SJM universe, but that does not mean that hate will be accepted. Remember to be kind and respectful to everyone joining in on this event. Any kind of hate mail sent will be deleted and the user will be blocked, no questions asked.

Projection of harmful stereotypes will not be welcome. Any kind of portrayal of the villains is welcome, as long as everything is kept respectful, and it is clear that certain kinds of behavior are not justified.

All relationships and interpretations of sexualities are welcome! So long as your villain of choice is at the forefront of your content. No shipbashing is welcome. You are also of course welcome to create general and non-ship content!

No A.I content is permitted and therefore will not be reblogged.

NSFW and mature content is allowed, so long as everything is appropriately tagged. That means on Tumblr, their guidelines for NSFW images are followed, and on AO3, or other posting platforms, the work is sufficiently tagged and rated according to that sites rules.

As we are dealing with the villains of the story, it needs to be clear, graphic depictions of SA will not be reblogged.

Whilst we all have different headcanons, and interpretations of characters, these are some characters that are not villains, and content centering around them will not be reblogged or otherwise featured during this event-

Tamlin

Eris Vanserra

Rhysand

The Inner Circle

Bone Carver, Weaver, Bryaxis

Cormac

FAQ-

How do I participate in this event?

Any kinds of participation are welcome! Whether that be headcanons, fanart, fanfiction, moodboards, playlists, edits, or anything else you come up with! Remember, any A.I content will not be reblogged.

Who is running this event?

This week-long event is being hosted by @hieragalbatorixdottir, @achaotichuman and @readychilledwine

What if I have a question about the event?

If you have any questions, please feel free to send an ask to the event account! We would love to hear all of your questions, headcanons, or any content you wish to share with us! If you want your ask to be answered privately please state that in the ask, otherwise all asks sent in will be published.

And please remember to not send any asks regarding the event account to our moderators. Please send them through the ask box of this account.

Do I have to stick to the prompts?

The prompts are there to help inspire creativity, that being said you do not have to stick to them. There will be two prompts for each day, you can use both, just one, or none at all! Whatever inspires you to create work! There will also be a free day where you can go utterly nuts and write whatever you want featuring our villains!

What can I do for SJM Villain Week if I am not a creator?

Any kind of interaction with the creators' making content is the best way to support them and encourage them leading up and during the event week! Consider liking, commenting and reblogging the content you see! This is the best way to let the creators know their content is appreciated.

Up to and during the event, we will be reblogging and sharing content made for our villains. If you have seen or have created works for our villains don't hesitate to share with us so we can reblog it!

Without further ado, welcome to SJM Villain Week, where lies, secrets and evil abounds. We’ll see you in October.

[girl-failure]

Transwoman needs answers

this isnt an easy post to write and it's going to be full of info about me that's personal and embarassing but I am desperate for answers and assitance so please bear with me. Long story short, im almost 3 years hrt (may 19th will be exact) and it's like nothing has changed. More info under the cut.

I'm going to try and explain everything to the best of my memory, but exact dosages and stuff might be fuzzy and inexact. I began HRT on May 19th 2021, when I was 22. I took one and a half 2mg pills, twice (morning and night) daily. I took them sublingually. I was also prescribed Spironolactone, though the exact dose escapes me (i remember it was 1 pill nightly). I had only come out as trans in the December the previous year, so i considered myself unfathomably lucky to get to start so soon. I had done this through informed consent at a planned parenthood and was excited by the possibility of a future where my own body didn't make me want to die. The idea of changing my body gave me a feeling of control in my life that had been entirely absent until that point. I knew I wanted all the help I could get with breast development (the women in my immediate family are well endowed) and I had read & heard from other trans women that prog could help, but I'd have to wait to ask for it.

I think it was on December 15, 2021, I was officially prescribed 100 progesterone nightly. At this point I had began to notice softer skin, lighter hair, the few bits of acne left over from high school had gone entirely, and the inklings of breasts beginning to form. My libido had all but dissipated entirely at that point, but I was told (mostly by other trans women) it would come back, especially after starting prog, and that my body would likely experience pleasure differently, and that my orgasm would be very different. The fat from my stomach (i wasn't overweight or underweight, i was pretty average for a man my height, but I did have a masculine stomach I despised) hadn't relocated at all, but I knew HRT wasn't a sprint, but a marathon, and I had a long way to go. This continued for a long time, eventually i would be bumped up to two 2mg of E (sublingual pill) twice daily (8mg total), and my Spiro would change to 200mg a day EDIT: My Spiro dosages did fluctuate, though again I don't recall the exact dosages, (I initially got it confused with my prog dosage, sorry), though there was the occasional few week period where I'd be bumped back down to one and a half E pills because I had timed my blood-work poorly. It had been a while since starting HRT and I was starting to worry. My libido never came back, I was unable to feel the sensation of pleasure entirely, my breasts & nipples never became sensitive or had growth pains, and my breasts really hadn't grown at all. My stomach still made me feel awful and masculine because fat continued to pile up there instead of in the feminine places I was told and led to believe it should!!! I was scared and frightened and upset. I'd say I developed an eating disorder but my eating was already disordered. I was afraid of food. Afraid it'd just make me look manly, instead of going to my hips/waist/whatever and breasts like it was supposed to. I began to feel like the hrt that was supposed to save my life was just making me feel worse.

On October 23rd, 2023, I finally started seeing a doctor again after 9 years of not being able to afford it, and only then because a parent got insurance through their work. I was officially prescribed Estradiol Valerate (.3mL intramuscular, and the bottle itself is 20mg/mL) , and quit Spiro outright. Now that I was talking to a doc, especially one who had been working with trans people in my area for years, I was starting to have hope again that maybe injections would solve my problems. After all, they're supposed to be more powerful right? Well after some blood-work revealing that my T levels were so low they were undetectable, we started fiddling with my injection dosages. I went down to .25mL. Nothing changed. I went down to .2ml. Nothing changed. I stayed at .2mL and was prescribed a med called EstraTest (.625mg E and 1.25mg T), a single pill which has both E and T in it, to try and raise my T levels back to measurable levels and hopefully find that golden ratio of E and T where maybe my body will start working again and start changing. But that brings us today. I still don't feel any sensation of pleasure (masturbating is pointless, intimacy just feels like I'm disappointing my partner), let alone a female orgasm (which as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was really looking forward to), my nipples still don't get sensitive and my chest doesn't get sore or get growing pains. My breasts look the same way they did 4 months into hrt. I've still had practically no fat redistribution, though I've gotten better about eating and not being afraid of food. I'm even beginning to notice my acne slowing starting to come back. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why has nothing worked? Why does it feel like I'm regressing? I lost my health insurance earlier this week, and I can't afford to see my doctor again with my dumb pizza delivery job, so I haven't been able to ask to try anything more drastic to try and fix these issues. My current theories are that maybe my body is just more resistant to E? Which would be awful, but might be handled by just tripling my dose or something? Or

that my receptors are fried, and that the only solution would be to stop taking my HRT for a while (maybe even a long while). I pray that isn't the case, because I'd sooner off myself then let my body regress any further.

So this is a call for help. If anyone has any idea what could be causing these problems for me, or knows how I might be able to fix them, PLEASE let me know. I've lost hope in having a future as a woman, or even just feeling apathy towards my body (instead of intense self-loathing) at this point.

Here's my ca$happ if anyone wants to throw some money my way and maybe I'll be able to see the doctor again. cash.app/$occultChloe