#NR.1

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 1

We have stopped on planet 23-08 in Mechuilian system. I have never been fond of this particular planet, but we were there on a mission. Our Vitrichl has heard that one of the bargainers resident on this planet is in posession of a prisoner that the Vitrichl seems quite interested in.

Apparently, this low bargainer has been able to aqcuire a prisoner of the terrestrial species that calls themselves "human". I was not familiar with this species, but the Vitrichl informed me that, apparently, these "humans" are a highly advanced life form that have managed to survive on a death planet for thousands of years and even develop a civilization and rather primitive forms of space craft technology.

I firstly not believed what he described, since usually, death planet species do not develop far and are doomed for eventual extinction. That was, until Vitrichl informed me that these "humans" are part of the system 31ł-43. If you are not familiar with the characteristics of system 31ł-43, this system is known as one of the deadliest in all of the galaxies. It is made up of entirely unhabited (and for most species, unhabitable) planets except for one, Terra, or "Earth", as the inhabitants apparently call it. Terrans, or "humans", for some unfathomable reason, seem to be rather fond of their death planet and have shown no signs -besides rather primitive space missions to neighbouring planets - of intending to leave their planet or system. Everyone who is aware of this species deem this for the best.

It is the first time that I had heard of someone out of a so-called "death district" coming to this part of the galaxy, so I had my slight suspicions that this may be a hoax.

But alas, I was wrong. We retrieved the prisoner and Vitrichl officially announced them as our "new crew member". After this announcement, Vitrichl informed me that he had decided that I should watch this "human". To learn their characteristics, their customs and observe their behaviour, in order to deem whether or not this "human" could be trusted, given that there was little known about their species.

I am now unofficial "human-watcher", and I have decided it would be best to keep a record of my observations for future reference.

[recviem-art]

1

[lindasipsandspills]

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

by Baek Se-Hee

General information

Edition:

Translated by Anton Hur in 2022 under Bloomsbury Publishing.

Author:

Born in 1990, Baek Se-hee studied creative writing in university before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, books one and two. Her favorite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog Jaram. (excerpt from bloomsbury.com)

Synopsis (via goodreads):

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don’t know, I’m—what’s the word—depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her—what to call it?—depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.

Page Count:

192 pages (eBook-version).

Trigger warnings:

Depression, co-dependency, alcoholism, obesity (?), South-Korean conservative thinking.

Initial thoughts post-read (spoilers ahead):

First off, I need to preface some points:

I did not choose this book based on any recommendations from websites, bookshops, or fellow readers.

I did not check any reviews while reading and only after I was done, did I open them on this particular book (and was surprised at the negative reviews).

The book did not give me a new outlook on life; it just recounted the things I have been working on or seeing other people struggle with.

Okay, now to the actual review:

What a refreshing way of discussing therapy as a concept and how it feels to be inside an office, talking about whatever is troubling you. Being a patient myself, I had to smile sometimes, seeing as I related to some passages and was reminded of what my therapist had advised me on.

That being said, I couldn't relate much to our narrator. Her problems and what she was working through differ strongly from what my woes are, but I did catch myself sometimes being surprised at how accurate to mine they were: love being conditional, the difference between financial and mental independence, the need to "become a robot," an idealized version of oneself that seems unattainable, to name a few. It's definitely not in the same way, but it was similar enough that I kept thinking, "So I am not alone in this, huh?" It was comforting.

So then why do people see this book so critically? My guess is that people expected the créme de la créme - a proper self-help book, a book to end depression, a book to help someone get out of it and not needing to go to therapy, perhaps. But let me tell you one thing: it is never that easy. You'd have to be naive to think this would in any way substitute going to therapy, let alone help you "get rid of mental illness." How people were unproductively comparing themselves with the narrator's problems, because they themselves are going through mental struggles as well, was honestly just laughable. Just as every flower head is different, every brain is different. You can't just make one assumption and expect everyone to feel the same way about it. The author never signaled that her problems were comparable with someone who is going through forceful suicidal thoughts. But her self-hatred and self-deprecation were serious, and in my opinion warranted the medication. Just because she made the steps other people are afraid to take, doesn't mean you get to belittle other people's mental illness and compare it to your own in such a toxic manner. Just my two cents.

All in all, I did think about some people I would recommend this to. But since I am not close enough to warrant it as a recommendation to these people, I'll just leave this review here for others to see and become interested on their own.

Quotes:

I think you tend to focus too much on your ideals and pressure yourself by thinking 'I have to be this kind of person!' Even when those ideals are, in fact, taken from someone else and not from your own thoughts and experiences.

I'd like you not to give too much credit to what people say about you. The moment you set out to be more empathic is the moment it becomes a chore. That would result in your empathy decreasing, if anything.

But the idea that I'm actually normal is somehow even more weird to me. It makes me think I'm just being full of myself.

If you have unrealistically high standards, you will forever be creating reasons to see yourself as inadequat, as someone who needs endless improvement.

I'm usually so tense during interactions that I have trouble remembering what was said.

You've backed yourself into a corner and made yourself choose between black or white. Whether to see a person or not, whether to be best friends with them or never speak to them again. You either lash out or endure. The only choices you have are yes and no, and there is no middle ground.

[net-photos]

Das "Print"-Magazin aus dem Juni 1941 enthält Artikel über aktuelle Mode, Kunst und Literatur der Zeit sowie informative Beiträge zu Gesellschaft und Politik. Den ganzen Artikel gibt es hier: https://nordischepost.de/unterhaltung/design/die-kunst-des-designs-neue-trends-und-inspirationen/?feed_id=64134&_unique_id=6610c6c9ac0cf

[politikwatch]

CSU Widerliche #Hetzer und NR.1 Der #FakeNews verbreiter 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 #Söder

[ohhyperbola]

(not a ship art)

og post

[nyancrimew]

there are exactly three types of Mili songs:

this song means literally nothing and we made up a nonsense language specifically for this purpose

i met a vegan once and this made me so angry i had to write this vent song about it

robot otherkin mommy kink

[annabelle--cane]

[insufferablemod]

first fanart redraw for 4/13

[cythanadiel]

a babygirl

[suja-janee]

(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend

[calviyv]

Kenshi's blindfold is a part of Johnny's armor. I cried.

[nivahlpassions]

In some ways they were holding to each other for dear life.... ❤

[hiroeghjj]

Another mk1 sketch dump

[wordfather]

i have 3275 tv shows to finish and 234657 movies to watch and 5624839 books to read i should really get on that but i have no time to. beacsue i am watching sillay videos on youtube dot com forever and always

[ato-dato]

Spent an hour of my day just sitting together with my sisters and my mum showing each other gomens edits. Both sad ones and thirst traps. Family bonding time.

My mum also has fanart of aziracrow kissing on her phone home screen. And today she said sometimes she just stares at it longingly. Shes in her 3rd rewatch of s2 as well.