#Nabooan

[trueblu3-a]

❛ sometimes i feel like i don't wanna be where i am ❜ / ben kenobi !

you have grown to appreciate people such as the former queen of naboo   (   despite your life long hesitancy towards trusting anyone whose life is rooted in politics   /   consider it a force of habit born from a rebellious young padawan   ),   her kindness feels like a foreign creature in these years of high tension.   that,   mixed with the genuine compassion that you fear most people are lacking makes her a great woman,   a great person beyond compare of any of those around you who swear to uphold the republic.   perhaps it is these very reason that you feel your heart sink ever so slightly when @nabooan reflects such sadness.   should your old master see you,   the way the corner of your lips turn downwards   (   despite your spine remaining straight   &   arms folded one onto another beneath your brown cloak   ),   he would surely argue that you are allowing friendship to breach where it wasn't meant to be.   he knew you well enough to know that despite your interjections,   your insistent nature that you were good at not forming connections beyond your important general empathy:   there was always going to be a part of you that let people in a step to far.

" you've had quite an eventful life at such a young age,   senator. "   tiptoeing the lines between inserting yourself into a personal matter that does not concern you   &   helping a seeming friend be at peace with her very own existence   (   it's not easy   &   yet you cary on   ).   " it's not surprising that you feel this way. "   a beat passes   &   you furrow your brow,   as if searching for the correct fix to her problem.   " you must remember to care for yourself as you do others. "

[thisisthe-way]

AHHHHH THE N1 WILL ALWAYS BE THE COOLEST SHIP IN STAR WARS. Well, and the X-Wing. BUT I SAID WHAT I SAID.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

I do think the Naboo-Gungan relations were more than a little settler-colonial and there were some obvious issues there, but I don't really think that the Gungans being the bulk of the fighting force in their assault is the best example of that. It's clearly established that the Naboo barely have a military to speak of, and every single one of their defense forces is deployed. They're just hugely outnumbered and outmatched until the Gungan army joins them. The Gungan army is larger, and trained, and they have pretty good technology- some of the aesthetics are intended to look sort of 'primitive' I guess, but you can see they're actually well equipped and good engineers, on top of having many trained warriors. It's not like they sent civilians and Nabooan soldiers hid behind them. It was a three-pronged assault and everyone did their part. Attacking the droid army head on was dangerous, but so was the covert strike into occupied territory, and so were the dogfights in space.

[accidental-spice]

He had enough presence of mind to grasp her hand and draw her further into the little corner of the lounge partially hidden by the Nabooan willows before he startled her by pulling her close and kissing the ever loving galaxies out of her willing mouth.

She laughed against his lips when he released her at last and drew in a deep breath.

“You missed me too then,” she murmured.

--The Beginning of All Delight, by @musewrangler

Part eight! This was SUCH a perfect addition to the Empire Reimagined series (seriously, guys. Check it out if you love redemption, epic bromances, adoption, snarky doctors, awesome rescue scenes, and/or tea)

[enigmaticexplorer]

I Yearn, and so I Fear - Part IV - Chapter XXVI

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers. 

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 4.8K

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi 

3 Kelona

“You wanna talk about it?”

From her seat on the front porch steps, Kazi took in the mist smoking among the jungle’s elder trees. A mist reminiscent of the dense winter fogs that enshrouded Outlook Harbor. A fog she used to watch from her window, imagining long-extinct dragons soaring through the gray clouds, only for her to see. 

“Carinthia commed me this morning,” she told Nova. He side-eyed her. Folding her uniform jacket—the humidity from the drizzle was suffocating—she pursed her lips. “She told me that my bank accounts are still intact. I can access them.”

The revelation had rendered Kazi speechless. After the Purge, the Empire consolidated Ceaian national assets, including the banks. All this time she’d assumed her accounts were terminated. On the grounds of her questionable allegiance. All of her assets should have become liquidities of the Empire.

Her response to Carinthia was simple: How are my accounts still active? Is the Empire tracking them?

Quick thinking from a high-level security personnel. A CI, Carinthia replied. Most government employee accounts were transferred from the national bank and then terminated before the Empire took notice.

Kazi could only chuckle her disbelief. If there was one trait Ceaians shared, it was resilience: an ability to discover a way to survive. As they had for millennia. 

However, it was Carinthia’s last message that bothered her the rest of the day, a scratch unreachable. 

“She said she can reestablish claim of my accounts,” Kazi said, the drizzle dotting her black boots—the earth uncertain, stalling a decision.

Ceaian credits were billable only on Ceaia. So, reestablishing claim over her accounts was useless. Unless she returned. Or, she could transfer her Ceaian credits to Imperial credits. However, the transfer process was timely and required Imperial documentation and an interview. 

Was it worth it to reclaim her accounts? She wasn’t sure. 

“That’s not all,” Nova remarked.

His matter-of-fact tone earned a chuckle from her, and she slid her gaze in his direction. He sat with his elbows on his thighs; his hands were clasped between his legs. It was the same stance she’d come across when she returned from work half an hour ago. A pensive expression solemnized his countenance.

She considered him for a silent moment. “Do you need to talk?” 

Nova continued to stare ahead. “I…have a decision to make. Soon.”

Kazi grimaced. She could relate to the overwhelming pressure of decision-making: the investigation at work; the strain between her and Wolffe; her banking accounts on Ceaia; Neyti’s adoption. The last issue was her primary concern, and the reason she remained outside.

Before work that morning, Kazi visited Eluca’s Adoption Center for Young Girls and Boys. For two hours she watched holorecordings of the two women matched to Neyti: Jesminda and Rin Kouti. 

A collection of smile lines, eye crinkles, and affable demeanors, the two women were perfect. 

“…we’ve been married for twenty years…”

“…Jesminda is a Nabooan law expert, and I’m a civil engineer…”

“…we built the house a decade ago…the waterfall is half a kilometer away and it makes for a lovely environment to picnic or watch the stars…”

“…our story has been one of many triumphs but also disappointments…we hope to share our lives with a child we can call our own…”  

The matching process at the Center was sophisticated—ranked among the top five in the Outer Rim. All potential adopters underwent extensive interview processes, and accurate matches were expected. 

Since Neyti’s situation was unique—Kazi claimed her as a dependent—the Center allowed Kazi to assess potential adopters and determine their merit. To prevent emotional fallout over rejection, the adopters were unaware of the match. Only Kazi and the Center’s employees knew it existed. 

It should have been simple, obvious, to approve Jesminda and Rin Kouti. Kazi had known within the first five minutes of their first interview that they were the ideal couple. They would love Neyti. Cherish and adore the little girl. 

And yet Kazi had kept watching the holorecordings. 

One after another. 

She kept watching until the holorecordings blurred together and twin droplets salted her cheeks. 

“If you’re thinking so hard about it,” Kazi said, gently knocking her elbow against Nova, “maybe it’s not the right decision.”

“It is.” At his aplomb, her eyebrows lifted. His shrug of acknowledgement was blasé. “I’ve allowed my past to dictate my actions up to this point. It’s time to move on.”

She frowned. “How do you know it’s the right decision?”

“My gut says so.”

A quiet snort escaped. Nova glanced at her, a subdued smile lifting the corners of his mouth. It was the resignation in his smile, the acceptance in his eyes that had her stiffening. Carefully, she asked, “Are you leaving?”

He released a low chuckle and inclined his head toward the front door. “You should go inside.” Her narrow-eyed stare had him sighing. “Neyti’s not doing well.”

Kazi fisted her uniform jacket and loosed a heavy breath. Since the winter holiday and her life day, Neyti had grown reclusive. 

Morning breakfasts passed in silence; afternoons were spent doing homework. The youngling no longer showed interest in games or films or gardening or sparring. 

Most evenings Neyti spent with Fluffy star gazing in the backyard. Her grins were rare, her dimpled smiles nonexistent. A melancholic cloud stormed her gray eyes.

Even at night, when Kazi read to her, Neyti seemed disinterested in stories of forgotten kingdoms and ambitious princesses. Disinterested and distracted. Concerned.

Kazi pushed herself to her feet. “Has she worsened?” 

A dip of Nova’s chin was his sole response. She offered him a tight smile and then trudged into the house.

Uniform jacket hung on the rack, boots shucked off, she wandered farther inside. A quick scan of the kitchen revealed the preparation for dinner. A hearty soup cooked on the stove. An assortment of vegetables decorated a cutting board: half-chopped, hastily abandoned. The three men huddled around the partition to the sunroom explained the soup and veggies’ sudden solitude. 

Setting her bag on the staircase, Kazi strode toward the men, peering into the sunroom.

Slumped on a chair pushed against the wall-to-wall windows hunched Neyti. Her arms were folded across the chair’s back; her chin rested on her forearms. Beside her sat Fluffy, his long tail flicking across her back. Brushes of comfort. Neyti didn’t react. 

Stooped over the chair, Daria murmured something to Neyti. The little girl stared out the windows, unresponsive. Her gaze was distant; her features were drawn. 

Internally, Kazi flinched at the sight. At the sight of a little girl staring blankly out a window. Black hair flickered and tawny skin lightened. Ocean waves raged, overtaking the misty jungle. 

A tap to her shoulder and she blinked away the vision. The reminder of seventeen years ago. Wolffe motioned for her to follow him, and they returned to the kitchen. 

“She’s been like this since Daria got her from school.” Wolffe returned to the chopped vegetables. He kept his focus on his work; his technique was quick, practiced. “She hasn’t eaten. Didn’t do her homework. Hasn’t acknowledged us.”

Though he kept his voice even, controlled, Kazi noticed his concern: the rigidity in his posture, the flex of his fingers around a carrot. 

Setting aside the knife, Wolffe gathered the sliced vegetables and tossed them into a bowl. He settled his gaze on hers. “Do you think this is a…woman’s issue?”

Her eyebrows pinched together. “Woman’s issue?”

He shot her a meaningful look, and when her frown deepened, he sighed. His voice lowered as he said, “Her menstrual cycle.”

Kazi blinked. “Neyti’s seven.”

“I was under the impression it affected girls at different ages.” A defensive note underscored his tone, and he crossed his arms over his chest, arching a brow.

“It does,” she said with a tired chuckle. “But for Ceaian girls that doesn’t become a problem until ten. At the earliest.”

“You sure?” 

“Quite.” Kazi took in the kitchen and living area. A blanket, unfolded, littered the couch. Dirt muddied the wood floors. Two pieces of chocolate remained in the candy bowl. Rubbing her bare arms, she forced her gaze back on Wolffe. “Something else is bothering her.”

Something is bothering you, she almost added. 

For a moment, they regarded one another. 

The desire to talk to him—to confess to him about Neyti’s adoption, to question his growing distance—urged her hand to extend forward. Her fingers to skim his. But Wolffe reached for the knife, and her hand collapsed to her side. He returned to his chopping. And Kazi was left with the same guilt.

You should have told him, a cruel, leering voice nagged.

She ground her teeth. 

She’d debated it. Truly. 

Every morning she woke beside Wolffe, she considered confessing her conundrum. Admitting to the strong tug in her heart that insisted on keeping Neyti. 

But…Wolffe had grown reticent, reserved, the last three weeks.

Their morning conversations were distracted, their evenings spent separately. He still slept in her bed, and they were both trying, but something was on his mind. 

She felt it in the depth of his kisses. (A frustration.)

She felt it in the way he flattened her hand to her mattress, locked their fingers together, when they had sex. (A demand.)

She felt it in the kissed marks he left on her breasts and inner thighs. (A plea.)

She felt it in his soft strokes to her spine, his gentle brushes to her cheek, his tender caresses to her neck. (A resignation.)

So, like Neyti, she gave him space to work through it. Because she wasn’t sure what was bothering him, and her suspicions only worried her. 

Regardless, Neyti’s impending adoption wasn’t a responsibility for him to bear. It wasn’t his decision to make. He wasn’t her husband, and he wasn’t Neyti’s caretaker, and she already knew his opinion on the matter, and he could walk away whenever he wanted, and maybe this distance between them was partially her fault, too. 

A self-sabotaged internalization after realizing she was going to lose Neyti so, so soon. 

Footsteps alerted her to the other adults, and Kazi straightened, locking away the small, insistent hand pressed against the bones of her ribcage.

“She didn’t say anything,” Daria said, wiping her hands against her white apron. “She wouldn’t even look at me.” 

With the addition of Daria, Cody, and Fox, the kitchen grew crowded. The steam from the soup combined with the heat of the bodies warmed the main level. An uncomfortable heat—instigated by the humidity outside—burned within Kazi. Or maybe it was the looks shot in her direction: Wolffe’s contemplative, Fox’s pointed.

Kazi tugged on a braid. “Don’t take it personally, Dee. Something is wrong—” 

“You should talk to her,” Daria interrupted. Reaching for the soup ladle, her sister scrutinized her with a perceptiveness that itched. “You understand her best.”

She retreated a step. “She needs space—”

“No, she doesn’t.” At the hint of accusation in Daria’s tone, she tensed. Clenched her hands behind her back. “She needs you.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Kazi argued. To her irritation, Wolffe rolled his eyes. A dismissive gesture of her claim. “I don’t. I’m not a mind reader—”

“You comforted her the last time this happened,” Daria argued. 

The last time this happened Neyti was upset over an imperfect painting. A simple mistake. 

The last time this happened Neyti’s adoption was an unknown. 

And the thought of comforting Neyti—kind-hearted, compassionate, curious Neyti—while she debated giving the little girl away, felt like a betrayal—

No. It was a betrayal.

“She trusts you, Zee,” Daria said.

Kazi scanned the main level and its occupants: Cody continued to prepare the fish, neutral; Fox tapped a slow beat against the counter, a knowing gleam in his eyes. Daria and Wolffe observed her through narrowed eyes: the former wary, as if this was a test she was afraid Kazi would fail; the latter guarded, as if he weren’t certain what decision she would make.

“Fine.” Kazi forced her hands to unclench, and she faced Wolffe. “There was another long-range transmission to Eluca that I had to manipulate to the outpost—”

“Stop stalling, Ennari.”

A window was cracked open in the sunroom, the scent of rain fresh. Wisps of hairs curled and sweat slicked her arms as Kazi neared youngling and canine. Fluffy’s tail thumped against the ground. White teeth baring in a smile, he bumped Neyti with his nose. The little girl ignored him. A low whine reverberated in the back of his throat.

Scratching the anooba behind his ears, Kazi surveyed the mist-smoked jungle. “Seen any lightning?” 

Neyti jumped, and she shot a furtive look at her. Bemusement scrunched her nose; she shook her head.

“Good.” Kazi extended her hand. “Come on.”

Wariness kept Neyti hunched on the chair eyeing her. Kazi forced her hand to remain extended, to keep her features gentle yet uncompromised, even as she silently pleaded for the little girl to accept the invitation.

The chrono ticked.

The mist grew ashier, and the drizzle pattered louder.

Tiny fingers pressed into her palm, and Kazi swallowed, wrapping her hand around Neyti’s. With a small, reassuring smile, she gestured toward the back door. Neyti merely blinked. Hesitant. Skeptical. But also…trusting.

Socked feet tucked into boots, they stepped outside. The mist embraced them in its humid hold. The ferns welcomed them with damp caresses to their shins and calves, the hems of their rolled trousers sodden. 

Ignoring the drizzle sweating her skin, Kazi settled among the ferns. Neyti frowned at her but followed suit. Soon, they were lying on the wet-soiled earth, eyelashes coated with tiny raindrops and braids frizzed by the muggy atmosphere. Their hands remained clasped together.

“Did your mom ever tell you the myth about fog?” 

Kazi snuck a glance at Neyti; the little girl shook her head. It didn’t surprise her, considering Neyti’s Culturalist background. 

“Billions of years ago, the earth—Ceaia—was first created,” Kazi said. “It was new to the galaxy and eager to prove itself. But the earth was young and inexperienced, and one day, it felt so much pressure that it got confused. It felt sad, but also angry. And because the earth was so stressed, it didn’t know how to react, so it hid itself away. Behind the fog.”

She waved a hand through the mist. Miniature droplets speckled her palm and fingers.

“Fog isn’t a bad thing,” she continued. Neyti mimicked her, her tiny hand reaching into the mist. “It’s a natural part of the earth. But, if the earth allows the fog to fester, to grow unchecked, then there’ll be consequences.”

Neyti twisted her head to face her. Her eyes were darker, stormier, than the dense mist.

“With endless fog, the ground won’t experience sunlight and the plants won’t be able to grow,” Kazi explained, gesturing to the shadows of the elder trees. “Without plants to eat, the animals will die. And without animals to inhabit the earth, the earth will be alone.”

A small gasp shuddered through Neyti and she lunged upwards, yanking her hand from Kazi. She wrapped her arms around her knees. Hugged herself.

“In the myth”—Kazi forced herself to a seated position, too—“the earth realized the fog—realized that hiding from its emotions—was actually hurting itself.”

The drizzle lightened, and through the sudden silence descending upon the jungle, Kazi stared at Neyti. At the little girl huddled around herself, stubbornly resistant.

“Our emotions can be confusing and scary,” she said softly, gently. “We don’t understand what we’re feeling, so we try to hide from them. But, like the earth when it gets too foggy, hiding from our emotions isn’t a good thing.” 

Neyti shook her head. A harsh, defensive shake.

“Neyti,” she murmured. 

A tear slid down the youngling’s cheek. Neyti sucked in a shallow breath.

She tapped her boot against Neyti’s. “What’s going on?”

A breath escaped, and the mist retreated a few paces, and then Neyti placed a trembling palm over her heart. Hoarsely, she whispered, “Why did Mummy die?”

Kazi couldn’t remove her gaze from Neyti—she couldn’t look away from the confusion, the hurt, the yearning in the little girl’s eyes. Because, long ago, little Kazi had asked the same question about her papa. 

Long ago, little Kazi secluded herself in her harbor’s temple and knelt before an altar, pleading with the dragons to bring her papa back. 

Long ago, when everyone had moved on but her, little Kazi climbed to the top of the broken lighthouse and screamed at the raging sea. It roared back, defiant. Indifferent. 

No one answered little Kazi’s question. Not her mother. Not the ocean. Not the dragons.

“I don’t know,” Kazi said. Neyti watched her, and she swallowed, refusing to look away from the girl’s desperation, her denial. “I don’t know why your mom died. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. I don’t, and I’m so sorry for not knowing.”

Another tear crumpled. Neyti hugged herself tighter.

“But…” Kazi rested a tentative hand on Neyti’s shoulder. “I do know that what happened wasn’t your fault. And it wasn’t your mom’s fault, either.” 

Neyti stared at her, lower lip trembling. 

“Death is a natural part of life. But it still hurts,” she said. “It hurts. And it’s okay to feel sad, or confused, or angry about it. It’s okay to feel those things.”

Dropping her gaze to the ground, Neyti picked at a fern. “Mummy’s not in my dreams.” 

Kazi tucked a strand of hair behind Neyti’s ear. “When did you stop seeing her?” 

“My life day.” The youngling’s withdrawn disposition that day suddenly made sense. Neyti inhaled sharply and shifted her attention to Kazi. “Mummy’s not coming back.”

A plea lifted her chin, so, so obstinate, but Kazi could only brush hair back from her forehead as she shook her head. “No,” she said. Devastation shattered Neyti’s defiance. “She’s not coming back.”

With a hitched cry, Neyti crawled into her lap, burrowed into her chest, and sobbed. Broken, mournful sobs that wracked through her body. 

And unlike her experience at the lighthouse, when Kazi had curled into a ball on the hard floor and cried all alone, she held Neyti. She held her tightly. A promise to never let go.

Eventually Neyti quieted, her sobs subsiding into wet hiccups. The mists loosened their grasp on the jungle, and the elder trees, graceful in the sway of their leafy branches, reached through the dissipating clouds. Pale sunlight brightened the rolling hills.

“My father died when I was little,” Kazi said, brushing the tears from Neyti’s cheeks. “I was sad for years. I still get sad when I think about him. Because I don’t know why he died, and I loved him very, very much. Just like you love your mom.”

Neyti stiffened. “I…I do love mummy?”

“Yes.” Kazi searched her face but Neyti averted her gaze, fiddling with her dragon necklace. Nonplussed, Kazi pushed the dampened strands of her hair away. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because…” Neyti wrung her hands in her lap. “I can’t…I can’t remember what she looked like.” Frustration,  fear,quivered her voice. “I can’t remember—” 

“The details?” 

With a nod, Neyti toed the ground. Dark soil muddied the white outline of her shoe. “She’s blurry.”

Kazi angled her head back, scanning the dispersing clouds for a solution. An answer. Because she didn’t have photos of Neyti’s mother, and she didn’t have stories about her childhood. After so many months—the dark of that night and the terror of the moment overriding her memories—she barely remembered the woman’s appearance. But she knew enough. Enough to ask Cody for a favor.

Weak sunlight sprinkled the earth, and Kazi reached for Neyti’s hand. A bruise from her sparring lessons with Fox darkened the light brown of her skin. Kazi traced the faded bruise as she said, “When you think about your mom, what do you feel?”

“Happy...and sad.” Neyti twisted her face into the sunlight. Breathed in. “But I feel really happy. A lot of the times.”

Kazi smiled smally. “And where do you feel happy?”

Neyti pondered the question, and then she moved her free hand to her chest. To her heart. “Here,” she said.

“Here,” Kazi echoed, placing her own hand over her heart. “You may forget what your mom looked like, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten her. That doesn’t mean you don’t love her anymore, and that she doesn’t love you.” Neyti curled her fingers into her sweater, against her chest. “We don’t ever forget the people we love. Because they’re in here”—Kazi tapped her chest—“and they’re with us. Always.”

“Always?” Neyti asked suspiciously.

“Always.” She squeezed Neyti’s hand. “On Ceaia, when we lose a loved one, we write them a letter.”

A swipe of a tiny fist to her cheeks and Neyti eyed her. 

“At night, when the stars are out and the moon’s high in the sky, we read the letter,” she said. “Because, when we die, we return to the stars.”

“Like the Dancing Dragons,” Neyti whispered.

With a nod, she motioned toward the clearing sky. “Your mother is up there with all those billions of stars and she’s watching you. And I know she’s so, so proud of you.”

“She plays with the dragons?” Twin dimples mirrored one another as Neyti perked up. “Like my dreams?”

“You inherited your adventurous spirit from someone,” she said, smiling softly. Neyti tucked her cheek into her shoulder, her smile earnest, if a bit wistful. Kazi swept a finger across her knuckles. “I bet you got that from her.”

Hope, pure as only a child could muster, brightened Neyti’s face. Once more, the girl burrowed into her, playing with one of her dampened braids, the ends unruly. 

“Do you love me?”

Apprehension thrummed between the words, a cautious inquiry, and Kazi stilled, her gaze steadfast on Neyti.

“I do,” she said. A tear slid down her cheek. Neyti wiped it away, her touch gentle, and she laughed quietly. “I love you so much.”

Neyti leaned into her chest; Kazi smiled smally, tired yet content. She rested her chin on the girl’s head and closed her eyes. She knew what decision needed to be made.

The clouds blushed a dusty pink of health and youth as the sun neared the culmination of its early summer peregrination. An eagerness to apricate in the waning sunlight vivified the jungle. 

It was the petrichor of post-storm, the droplets bedewing the flora, that convinced Kazi to go for a walk. To watch the sunset and seek relief from her overthinking. Wolffe accompanied her, his contemplative silence their troubled companion.

They wandered for some time, and when they came across an outlook with a clear view of the dying sun, they stopped. Kazi wanted to appreciate the beauty of the darkening pink—a flush of purple suffusing the clouds. However, Wolffe—hands clasped behind his back, a slight crease between his brows—troubled the calm of the evening. 

The momentary hush of the earth, its tranquility after day-long mists, convinced her it was a sign: to find some clarity.

“You’ve been distant,” Kazi said.

Wolffe stiffened imperceptibly. A rueful shake of his head was his only response.

“Something’s on your mind.” A handful of stones clattered down the hill as she faced him. “It’s been on your mind for days—”

“Ennari.” He shot her a warning scowl. At her unimpressed stare, he widened his stance. “It’s been a long day. You don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

Disquiet pricked the nape of her neck, and she reached for a braid. Her fingers met loose, still-damp strands of hair. From her shower that evening. Her hand returned to her side, and she cleared her throat. “Are you leaving?”

“No.” Wolffe dragged a hand through his hair, side-eyeing her. “I’m…frustrated.”

“With me,” she surmised.

“Yes.” Annoyance feathered a muscle in his jaw, and he heaved a tired sigh. “And myself.”

An uncomfortable sensation, like sandpaper rubbing back and forth, scraped the inside of her ribcage. Hesitantly, she said, “Why?”

“Later—”

“No. I want to know—” 

“I want to be with you.” 

The emotion behind his words caught Kazi off guard—annoyance, wistfulness, longing—and she could only stare at him, speechless. Wolffe squared his shoulders; he pinned her beneath a resigned look.

“I want to be with you, Ennari,” he said. “But you don’t want things to change.”

Their conversation on the winter holiday, Kazi realized. The question Wolffe had asked her: about them. A warning sharpened in her chest, ice crawling between her ribs and sinking chilly fangs into her muscles. She exhaled an aggravated breath.

“I told you that I like you,” she argued, folding her arms over her chest. “Because I do. I like being with you—”

“You’re not ready to commit.” Accusation narrowed his eyes, even as disappointment softened his scowl. Wolffe crossed his arms. “I am—”  

“It’s only been a few months,” she said sharply. Wolffe winced but she couldn’t focus on it—couldn’t acknowledge it. An unnatural beat was pulsing in her heart. Her palms were sweaty. “You can’t possibly know what—”

“Don’t do that,” he hissed. “Don’t dismiss what I want.”

Kazi stilled, grew rigid, as she stared at Wolffe. He let out a frustrated groan, dropping his head back as he glared at the sky. Erratic heartbeats skittered in the silence before he lowered his gaze. His eyes were intense on hers: unyielding, soft; resolved, pleading.

“I’ve spent my entire life wanting something I thought I couldn’t have,” Wolffe said. He edged closer, his steps slow, as if she was a frightened animal. “Being with you has made me realize I can have it. I want it.” He tapped the underside of her jaw. “I made a decision on you months ago. I knew you couldn’t make the same decision. And I was more than willing to accept what you could give me.”

Her heart sank: knowing he’d waited for so long; knowing she had hurt him.

“But you made me realize that I want more. That I can have more.” He searched her face. “I told you: I want something that’s real.”

The cold in her chest spread, clumps of ice amassing in her stomach, chilling her blood.

“I want to be your choice,” Wolffe said hoarsely. “But you can’t make that decision yet.” 

“There’s no one else,” Kazi said. Her eyes flitted across his face, furtive, and she dropped her arms to her stomach, wanting to reach for him. To cup his face and make him understand. “You are my choice.” 

“If I were your choice, you would talk about our future.” The flatness in his tone was unapologetic, matter-of-fact. “You would commit. You would fucking let me in and trust me. But you’re withholding yourself.”

“You said we would take things slow.” Her fingernails dug into her forearms. “You said we would figure things out over time.”

“I know,” Wolffe said softly. He ran his tongue along his teeth. “I thought I could wait. But you—you told me I deserved to go after what I want. You told me I deserved to live. And I know what I want. I can’t keep pretending I don’t.” 

“I want to be with you.”

“Kazi.” Her name was a fond yet exasperated sigh. “You’re expecting me to hurt you. You don’t trust me. And I can’t spend the next year questioning if you want to be with me, too. I can’t do it. I won’t…not when there’s a possibility you’ll run from me.”

Kazi opened her mouth—to rebuke his accusation, to defend herself—but she couldn’t formulate the argument. Because he was right. And he deserved what he wanted, and she…she was too afraid to give it to him. She was scared of—

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You’re in your head. And there’s nothing I can do to get you out.” Wolffe swallowed, trailed his thumb across her jawline, and then withdrew his hand. He rolled his shoulders back. “I’m giving you space to sort through your shit. To make your decision. ‘Til then…I’m stepping back.”

A small palm, strong-willed, desperate, slammed against her chest, pounded against the fortifying walls that were locking it away, once more. 

With a curt nod, Kazi forced her emotions aside. “I understand.”

A subtle darkness spilled through the canopied trees, and yet Wolffe lingered. Long enough she dared to hope he would change his mind. 

But that was the difference between them: Wolffe made decisions. And he followed through on them. 

He strode past her, his fingers grazing hers just once, and then the crepuscular shadows embraced him.

The yearning in her heart quieted. A glow banked. An ache unfillable. 

A cynical part of her chuckled. This was why she never allowed herself to be vulnerable with anyone. They always left. Except it was her fault, really, considering how much she sabotaged it.

Kazi looked to the horizon; she sagged with disappointment.  

She’d missed the sunset.

Masterlist | Chapter 25 | Chapter 27

[kenobster]

A little offended as a fan of both by the suggestion Padme and obi wan are in any way interchangeable tbh but now I'm thinking about giving Padme a dick. This is an intriguing prospect not just for her but also for Nabooans in general if we apply the whole dualsex sub-specie thing to them. That would include not only her but also all the handmaidens and also emperor Palpatine

Palpatine squirts

[fridayincarnate]

Day 1: Vacation

Here's my entry for Day 1 of @kyluxshortshorts for the prompt "Vacation." I rolled 400 words for my goal and in a rare turn of events for me, managed to come in under the limit at 350. Read it on AO3 or below the cut on this post!

Planned Downtime (350 words) by FridayIncarnate

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren

Characters: Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren

Additional Tags: Armitage Hux Needs a Break

Summary:

Hux's work on the Starkiller project is running him ragged. The last thing he needs is a disruption to his schedule. But Kylo Ren is nothing if not a disruption.

Construction on the Starkiller project has drained the well of Hux's energy dry. Snoke is breathing down his neck demanding results. The last thing he needs is a disruption to his schedule.

But Kylo Ren is nothing if not a disruption.

Hux resisted Ren's frivolous plan, at first. He'd summoned his counterarguments like the planetary shield whose development occupies so much of his time.

Snoke will punish him if he fails to deliver on schedule. When have you ever failed to deliver anything on schedule, Hux?

The project can't do without him. All of you uniforms are replaceable. Your pet Lieutenant knows your schedule well enough to carve a few days out of it.

His time is not Ren's to command and never has been.

Ren hadn't had anything to say to that. He hadn't needed to. Somewhere between the sweat-slick slide of bedsheets and the respite of stolen sleep curled around him afterward, Hux's sex-addled mind had betrayed him. He'd relented against his better judgment.

As he all too often does, when it comes to Ren.

Shore leave — or vacation, Ren calls it in his decadent New Republic way — will not dispel the stormclouds of looming deadlines and overwork that have taken up residence under Hux's eyes, no matter how irritatingly cheerful the sunlight is outside their remote mountain chateau. 

Ren had thoughtfully liberated it from a pair of Nabooan newlyweds. Their honeymoon was cut tragically short.

And they say romance is dead, Hux thinks wryly as Ren groans beneath him.

It is a nice view, Hux has to concede, if one is charmed by sun-dappled meadows dotted with bright wildflowers. 

He's more interested in admiring the terrain of Ren's broad shoulders, watching the muscles ripple as he drives into Ren from behind. A bead of sweat rolls between Ren's shoulder blades and charts a trail down his spine, glinting in golden late afternoon light as it crests each vertebra. Hux allows himself to watch it until it meets his hand, his fingers splayed wide across Ren's lower back.

His gaze flicks to the datapad in his other hand.

[lightasthesun]

STAR WARS TRIVIA NIGHT

[phoenixyfriend]

All your AUs are like dopamine and crack straight to the brain that make the imagination go wheeeeeee! So I'm blaming you for this latest thought bubble and handing it entirely over to you should you feel inspired:

Naboo has very convoluted laws to essentially allow child labour considering the age of their politicians, and the wider Republic legislation has a headache of a computerised system to integrate those laws more or less automatically within the wider galactic system when approved. Like, laws on Naboos are recognised by the Republic as applying on Naboo, but they can also apply on the wider Republic if given permission by the Chancellor. Palps takes advantage of one about children legally allowed to do paperwork for their family because Enrichment! Education! Learning Politics and Civic Duty! (As long as they are "kids" and not "full active mini-adults" like Padmé as Queen) And that's how the automated system permits Fox to do all the Chancellor's paperwork: he's been adopted Fox Palpatine, and as a Nabooan 12yo he is Learning and Helping his Family.

Fox finds this out under layers of obfuscating code.

He also finds out that Palps manipulation to get this all autorised under the radar grandfathered in another law Padmé had put in to allow family reunions and automatic citizenship on the Freedom Trail.

Fox takes all this info, recognises the GAR and Guard as his siblings, goes to the public and sues the hell out of Palps for child-abuse, abandonement, endangerement, murder, etc. You have millions of little Palpatines you are putting on the front lines every day and ordering decommissionings and that is NOT permitted in the Nabooan law. Also you owe childcare monies.

It's a bad day to be named Sheev, it's an excellent day for Bail and Padmé to get the Chancellor out of office or at least suspended. The only hiccup is that whoever wants to be the SO of the caffeine crazy wreck that is Fox will have to wait at least another 2 years or get in trouble because-he-has-to-legally-be-a-kid-until-they-all-get-citizenship-and-a-paycheck

Thats all i have and it's going to bounce around my head for ages 😅

neat

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Meet my OC from Star-crossed :

*drumroll*

Nina Cerasus

Pic from artbreeder

Pronunciation of her name : Nee-nuh

Family stuff:

22 standard years old born in Naboo (in Heavenbound fic she is 32)

she has a rare heart disease HCM

when her mom got sick her dad left them

her mom died when she was 7 years old

she was raised by her grandmother

she goes to law school

her best friend is Polina who is a vampire

and Anfisa a who is a fae

Appearance:

female

pale skin (comes from her disease)

160 cm, 5'2 feet

skinny but fit and flexible (side effect of her meds and pilates classes)

her cheeks looks blushed (side effect from her meds)

she has freckles

she has diastema (visible gap between her two front upper teeth)

she wears glasses at home and contact lenses when she goes out

she has brunette straight hair, mid length and with curtain bangs, she wears it in different up dos and braids like Nabooan women and likes to clip pearls and star clips in the locks

her hands are always cold (comes from the meds from her disease)

she smells like cherries, almond and mint tea (inspired by tom ford's lost cherry perfume)

she has tattoos: one is on her spine shows different phases of the moon, also it glows in the dark, several ones on her fingers she has tiny dainty stars and constellations, and on the inner side of her hip is a loth wolf in a tribal style art, and a quote on her bacl ankles "Ad astra, per aspera."

her style includes gem colored light fabric dresses, mostly pant suits with cut outs

she has a bracelet a red string with a star shaped lucky charm (gift from her gran for protection)

she has a pair of jade droplet earrings, and an enchanted red amber pendant (both gifts from Maul)

she likes sparkly make up and nailpolish

she has a raspy seductive voice (inspired by sofia bush's voice)

Personality:

she is rather introvert and close to herself

likes to argue, good at keeping information to herself (she is to be a lawyer duh)

she has trust issues, and abandonment issues

says that she doesn't believe in love or relationships but secretly hopeless romantic

only dates but never in a relationship till she meets Maul and later Wolffe in my Heavenboun fic

doesn't like jedi or any Force user, she thinks they are snobs and dogmatics, but later she'll like Master Plo and his wolf pack

she isvery inteligent speaks in several languages

she enjoys art, music, dancing and reading

she is a bit of a nerd when it comes to astronomy (not the horoscope one)

she is currious and patient (especially with Maul)

she looks down on men, she thinks they all liars, and cheaters, and only good to manipulate/to be an acessory/ to please her in bed till she founds love

she will do everything to her friends and loved ones

she has a soft spot for Anfisa (my other OC)

hard to open up but actually super sweet

maybe a bit impulsive, but at same time she has a 5 year plan already

they call her the "ice queen" because her specialty is freezing out people and always looks calm and collected but under the hard shell she panic a lot

Other:

she is a party girl but only because she loves dancing

her hobby is star gazing and her dream job is to be a star cartographer

she never left Naboo before, but dreams to travel the galaxy and make star maps in Star-Crossed fic, in Heavenbound she leaves in Couruscant

she is allergic to tooka cat fur

she can't drive a ship

pretty good in self defense and shooting (both comes from Polina's idea to join self defense classes)

she collects celestial themed jewelry

she is terrible at cooking

to quit smoking she learnt how to tie a knot with her tounge from a cherry stem, so she always carry some cherries with her

AN: So that's all I could collect in this moment. Sorry for any mistype or bad English this is not my first language. Other character deep dive list and mood boards are in plans so I hope you'll like her as much as I do.

I plan to make one about what characters and persons inspired her personality, looks and name (no it not comes from mine even though it's similar to my nickname)

💖

Nika

Taglist: @hellhound5925 @cloneloverrrrr @stardustbee @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @firstofficerwiggles

[yoitsjay]

This is a masterlist that will hold my clone ocs, jedi ocs, mercenaries, etc. If you don't wanna read about them idc, but if your intrested in learning more about my star wars children then this is the right place.

Clone Ocs:

✎ Commander Hazard

Info:

Height: 6 ft

Number: CT-1777

Hair color: dark brown

Hair style: shaved sides and back, longer curly / spikey top

Eye color(s): deep brown left eye, white right eye (was blue)

Skin color: caramel tan

Skin detail(s): vitiligo splotches and freckles

Scar(s): a long straight scar across the right eye

Tattoo(s): a star tattoo underneath the left eye on the cheek

Percing(s): two stud piercings on each earlobe, one eyebrow piercing on the left eyebrow

Armor color(s): dark forest green and black with gold accents

Armor style: ARC trooper armor

Backstory:

Commander Hazard, Designation CT-1777, was one of the first generation clones created at the beginning of the clone wars. He was assigned to a different battalion at first, but during one of the first battles he met his now current Jedi General, Iarni Lir, who then requests for him to become her commander as her battalion is in the midst of creation.

When he was first created he had one blue eye and one brown eye, they would have decommissioned him if they didn't need clones that bad, so instead they cut out his blue eye and replaced it with a cybernetic one. He got his star tattoo after his first mission with Iarni, in honor of her because she always called him "her star" in Ryl until he picked his name. She also helped him pierce his ears and eyebrow and helps cut his hair

Picrew link: here | updated vers

Younger Hazard (edited by ME)

Lonewolflupe's Hazard art

S-sputnik-k's Hazard art

Hazard's full armor

Female Ocs:

✎ Kira Solus

Info:

Age: 28

Race: human

Occupation: Jedi Knight /general

Battalion / squad: The Bad Batch

Lightsaber color / style: Orange main lightsaber with a yellow shoto lightsaber. Hills are made of a unique silver metal with hand engraved Nabooan patterns

Height: 5'6 (167.64)

Hair color: deep red

Hair style: straight long

Eye color: grey blue

Skin color: tanned (light Carmel)

Skin accents: lighter freckles

Extras (lekku / montrals?): N/a

Backstory: (idfk yet)

Picrew link: here

✎ Iarni Lir

Info:

Age: 36

Race: Twi'lek

Occupation: Jedi Master / general

Battalion: 177th (made up)

Lightsaber color / style: double bladed indigo lightsaber with a petrified coral and petrified wood hilt, with Ryl words engraved into the wood.

Height: 5'11 (180.34)

Hair / lekku color: yellow

Hair/ lekku style: long lekku that stops down at lower torso with red lekku tattoos

Eye color: deep blue

Skin color: yellow

Skin details: red face patterns to match the lekku tattoo style

Extras: white head wrap and eye goggles

Backstory:

Iarni Lir was only 32 when the clone wars started, she had passed her trials at 25 and her jedi Master was Kit Fisto, who allowed her to have a lot more free will than other masters would have.

Iarni was one of the survivors on the first battle of Geonosis and became close friends to Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, often joining their battalions for missions until she recieved her own, though she would still partner up with Obi- Wan or Anakin.

During the first few months of the clone wars she was promoted to Master, she trusted the council so she didn't question it, though she had her suspicions about the senate.

During order 66 she helped her star, Commander Hazard, remove his chip and they survived together, eventually joining the rebellion.

Picrew link: here

[musewrangler]

But then…

He didn’t communicate.

She didn’t want to seem clingy and so she left a brief humorous message inquiring if he got lost on his ship. After all, they had regular away missions. Some took longer than others.

But a week passed.

So she sent another more serious message.

Is everything all right? Perhaps your communications array is not functioning properly?

Another week passed and she was seriously concerned. She sent out discreet inquiries about the location of the Axxilan fleet.

What she got back had her heart rate pounding in anxiety. The fleet was all together, the Sentinel included, near Bakura. Communications was functioning normally.

After another week, when Padme’ threatened to send her to Axxila to figure things out in person, Sola contacted Firmus’s vessel and asked about how to go about sending a thank you gift to him on behalf of the Nabooan government for his assistance during their visit.

[letitrainathousandflames]

Do you have think Anikan and Darth Vader have different colored jewels in their butt plugs?

I love this fucking website, where else would I ever get a question like this?

Okay, so here's the thing, Anakin was poor af (literally grew up as a slave, but his gf had money and she liked to give all the best toys to her boy toy. So I'm picturing Anakin having a bedazzled buttplug with a base of beautiful, tiny Nabooan gemstones which surrounda larger gemstone at the center, blue like his lightsaber blade.

Vader, however, after his multiple surgeries to get his ass looking more like a human's ass rather than an overcooked and underseasoned meat dish, got a similar design to wear almost constantly because, surprisingly, it helps him stay upright despite his extremely fucked up muscle tissue and spine.

Padmé died, leaving a hole in Vader’s heart that couldn’t be fixed, but he could still do something about the hole of his rear.

You see, the state-of-the-art, high tech butt plug doesn't shine bright blue only bc of the gemstone - a stolen kyber crystal, mind you - but also because it is imbued with medical bacta, which is released to heal our severely burnt boy from the inside too.

However, it is crucial that no one ever knows about the plug's existence, okay?!

If anyone ever entered Vader's chambers unannounced, Vader would choke them to death, sure, but it would still be very embarrassing to have them see one of the assisting robotic arms in his chambers jamming the thing into Vader before attaching his legs im place.

And it would be even more embarrassing if they heard the high-pitched "hmmpf!" noise he makes when the deed is done. That's why his chambers are double-locked AND the room has fog machines to fill it with enough smoke to make it seem like a Jizz concert at all times just like we see in Rogue one.

Aaaand, let's add this ask to the hall of fame of weird asks, right along with the one that said “I Bet Jar Jar Is Hung Like A Whale, God He Can Raw Me Any Day”.

(Psst, if this made you laugh, could you maybe buy me a coffee?)

[peachblossom-odyssey]

The whole theory about Aq Vetina being a village on Naboo has me thinking about how hilarious it would be if Din was a cousin or something to the Naberries, or if he was one of the kids who was gonna be slated to start training for potentially ruling one day before the separatist attack happened (idk how Naboo politics work) but through a series of political mishaps and Din having no idea he’s in Star Wars, he is now technically set to take the throne of Naboo and these very determined Nabooans keep finding him no matter how much he dodges them. Din just wants to be a normal dude but both Mandalore and Naboo are banging down his door trying to shove the throne at him, Boba is loving it and keeps sending him pictures of Naboo royalty fashion, Paz and the gang keep comming Din asking what the fuck he did now, and Din still doesn’t know what the Force is

[chommell]

*  nabooan   religion  is  polytheistic  ,   the  pantheon  includes  some  fifty  minor  deities,    though  the  majority  of  modern  worship  is  largely  contained  to  the  core   seven    ;    responsible  for  maintaining  the  balance  between  life  and  death ,  and  who  are  said  to  guard  and  maintain  the  six  gates  of  chaos .   while  many  religious  customs  have  carried  over  from  grizmallti  tradition     (  naboo’s  human  population  can  largely  trace  their  origins  back  to  the  planet  of  grizmallt  )   ,  their  meaning  have  changed  over  the  centuries  since  the  first  human  arrivals . 

𝔫𝔞𝔟𝔲    :    the  dual  god  of  life  &  spirit                   from  which  both  the  planet  and  the  system’s  central  star ,   nabu  is   the  creator  god ,  the  giver  of  life .   it  is  to  them ,   through  fire  and  water ,   that  life  continues  after  death ,   as  the  spirit  returns  to  its  place  of  creation .   nabu  remains  a  principal  deity  in  grizmallti  theistic  practices  to  this  day ,  though  worship  differs  vastly  between  both  diasporic  groups .

𝔪𝔬𝔱   :    the  god  of  rebirth                   brother  to  the  dual  god  nabu ,   he  is  said  to  watch  over  the  spirits  of  the  dead  during  the  7  days  of  mourning .   it  is  after  him  the  planet  moth    (  the  first  planet  in  the  naboo  system )   is  named .

𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔭    :    the  goddess  of  safety  &  deliverance                   the  goddess  of  safety  and  deliverance ,   patron  of  travellers  and  the  wandering .   the  planet  is  so  named  as  it  was  the  first  to  be  seen  by  grizmallti  refugees  as  they  entered  the  system .  it  is  the  second  planet  in  the  naboo  system .

𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔦𝔞 :    the  goddess  of  death  &  justice                   the  widow ,  the  goddess  of  death   &  the  bringer  of  peace .   it  is  said  that  her  frozen  moon  is  all  that  remains  of  her  husband ,   the  grizmallti  god  of  war .   the  planet  named  in  her  stead  is  the  forth  in  the  system’s  orbit ,  though  the  name  tasia  can  be  traced  back  to  the  colony  ship  beneficient  tasia  ( named  for  the  then  queen  of  grizmallt ,  elsinoré  den  tasia  ) .   naboo’s  royal  crest  is  included  in  her  religious  symbology ,   the  shape  itself  comes  from  the  shape  of  the  ship  sharing  her  name .  

𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔶𝔞  :    the  lunar  goddess                    the  mother ,  her  name  was  given  to  the  largest  celestial  body  in  naboo’s  night  sky .   as  such,  she  is  often  seen  as  a  protective  force .  commonly  associated  with  naboo’s  monarchs.

𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔪  :    the  goddess  of  wisdom  &  creator  of  the  graces                   the  planet  named  in  her  stead  (  naboo’s  fifth  planet ,  a  gas  giant  )    is  orbited  by  32  moons ,   many  of  which  have  been  named  after  the  children  of  the  pantheon .    scholars  and  artists  often  will  have  shrines  to  storm  in  their  homes  or  place  of  work .

𝔟𝔢𝔥𝔭𝔬𝔲𝔯  :    the  messenger  god                 the  first  creation  of  nabu .  after  which  the  planet  behpour  was  named .

*   various   religious   sects   and   communities   have  formed ,   splitting  worship  of  the  core  seven  between  their  respective  temples .   monastic  communities  are  scattered  across  the  relieve  wilderness  of  naboo’s  mountain  and  lake  regions  ,   dedicated  to  contemplation ,  philosophy  and  scholarship .   worshippers  usually  travel  to  the  cities  ,   attending  major  temples  for  festivals  and  funeral  rites ,  but  most  small  towns  have  local  shrines  to  gods  or  patrons .   minor  cities  have  chapels  dedicated  to  the  core  seven  ,   overseen  by  pontifices  of  local  monastic  societies .   on  top  of  this  ,   many  households  have  shrines  to  their  ancestors    ;     or to the  ancient  enlightened  philosophers  who  arrived  on  the  planet  some  4000  years  earlier .   the  commonly  held  belief  is  that  they  can  directly  petition  the  gods  in  their  descendent  stead .

[theprincessandthecowboy]

I laugh harder, “bless our hearts? What are you? Nabooan?”

“Oh please- I’d be a prude if I were from there,” he waves a hand. “Don’t associate me with the Senator, I beg you.”