#Napoleon’s friends

[empirearchives]

Napoleon being emo in 1800, but making an exception for Joseph and Duroc:

“Friendship is but a name. I love nobody. I do not even love my brothers. Perhaps Joseph a little from habit, and because he is my elder; and Duroc, I love him, too.”

The source of this quote is from Bourrienne, one of Napoleon’s schoolmates who he hired (and fired for possible corruption). He wrote a popular and debatable but very often sourced memoir.

Btw, here is an excerpt from a letter Napoleon wrote to Joseph:

“We have lived so many years so closely bound together that our hearts have become entwined. You know better than anyone how profoundly mine is entirely devoted to you.”

Yeah, he loved him only “a little.”

[galakteon]

whiteboard doodles dump!

(apologies for some of the pictures being horribly cropped oops)

[illustratus]

Louis Antoine Fauvelet de Bourrienne and Napoleon Bonaparte in the streets of Paris incognito

by Jacques Onfroy de Bréville

[iaminsideyourwalls]

"What do you say we play cowboys and spies?"

[thecrowslullaby]

and I hope he'll stay that way~

[robespapier]

Went to a small exhibition at the Musée du Chablais in Thonon-Les-Bains about the three first Empire generals from the area (Joseph-Marie Dessaix, Amé-Pierre Chastel and Pierre-Louis Dupas) and at the end of the exhibit they had tables and chairs with Who's who games, Empire edition 🤭

[apurpledust]

Naps and Lannes quarreling over Spain

one of my favourite anecdotes of them is the argument that occurred when Lannes , who had favoured peace, was not happy with Napoleon's desire to invade Spain.. things got quite heated (surprise)

« Crebleu ! if you had touched me ! » shouted the maréchal, pale with anger, looking at him in the whites of his eyes and putting his hand to the guard of his sword. »

and then

The emperor, so jealous of his authority and his prestige, would have made any other pay dearly for such a forgetfulness; but, at this very abruptness, he recognized the old friend from Arcole and Ulm, and the smile coming to his lips, the great man opened his arms to his lieutenant who rushed there. The emperor then explained to him his great plans; he demonstrated to him that he was ambitious only for the France he wanted, with a view to a lasting peace, make it unassailable after him. Lannes, despite everything, insisted on retire from the service; but, showing him his tenderness, Napoleon attached to him, on the contrary, more close to his person, and it is together that the two heroes, more intimately linked than ever, crossed the Pyrénées (Mountains).

so Lannes literally wanted to draw his sword against Naps but when he opens his arms lannes literally just rushed there to hug him? can i hug him too

And there’s this line in the next page:

Napoléon and Lannes traveled together so fast, that their crews could not follow them. (...)

~~~ that's it , they went into seclusion and lived happily ever after :') just kidding source: Le maréchal Lannes, Du de Montebello Prince souverain de Sievers, en Pologne -résumé de sa vie par son petit-fils Charles Lannes

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

omg I want to know, how were the Napoleon Queer Wars of 2014 like?? 😬

oh lord lol

It's been almost ten years and I still get weird YIKES reaction in my skin when I think about it, or when people in the current Napoleonic corner act a bit like the people from back then. Which is a me issue, and not anyone else's problem. But it is why I don't really engage with anyone from the Napoleonic side of tumblr anymore - too many bad memories and bad taste in my mouth.

Essentially, someone posted the (in)famous Cronin quote re: Napoleon telling Coulaincourt about the Feelings He Gets When Looking At Someone Handsome Friend Shaped. They speculated about queer* implications of this.

--

*necessary disclaimer about modern concepts of sexuality not being applicable to the past yadda yadda yadda. I'm using short hand here, folks. No one needs to jump down my throat.

--

A bunch of the Very Serious History Blogs(tm) came down hard on them being like "you're a fool, absolutely not, Napoleon was Straight(tm)". Someone else replied being like "Well what about That Letter from N to Josie concerning a Certain Tsar of Russia?"

I forget how That Letter was explained away, but it was.

Some name calling nonsense and really aggresive replies where bandied back and forth. People were passive aggresive and mean. People ignored each other then wrote vagueing posts about it. The usual damned foolishness you would expect.

Then someone else referenced that one book whose whole thesis is basically Napoleon was Probably Bi. The book, I will say, isn't great. I'd never recommend it. But it was floating around in the 2014/15 world of Napoleonic Tumblr.

And oh man was the person who suggested it torn to shreds. Eviscerated. It was like watching a train wreck and the by standers decided to lock the doors of the train and not let the passengers off while everything burned.

There were weird spin-off dramas from this nonsense where people got into whether or not being interested in Napoleon made you a war crime sympathizer. (Some things never change on this webbed site.) Messy, messy. Also, utterly dumb.

Anyway - it ended up weirdly boiling down to two sides: Are You A Serious Historian/Take History Seriously(tm) Therefore Anti-Napoleon Possibly Being Something Like Queer Even If Never Acted On versus People Having Fun(tm) on the Internet Who Now Have Their Backs Up and Are Responding Perhaps Unwisely.

There was a third party, which I was part of at that time** (no longer, since I left academia), which was the "We Do Real History As A Day Job, Because We Are In Academia, but Lol Like Hell Would I Think to do Serious History on the Blue Hell Site. I'm Present for Shits and Giggles and Idle Speculation and Chats. Nothing Here is Serious. Everyone Needs To Calm Down and Take Themselves Way Less Seriously." We were a small contingent, to say the least.

--

**this is not to say I didn't walk away with egg on my face. Because I did. My comportment wasn't great and it's something I've been trying to be better about ever since.

It's not a time I think anyone save like four Napoleonic-interested blogs can look back on without blame.

--

But yeah - it was a real bad time on here. People were called names and cruel, cruel messages were sent to various and sundry by various and sundry. People deactivated over it. Friendships were literally torched because of it. There was a lot of issues with: "What Is Tone When Jumping On Someone's Post?? We don't know how to gauge it! Are you being mean? Are you being helpful? Who knows!! But you sounded aggresive in your add on and so I had better respond aggressively as well."

All because some people took themselves too seriously and because other people were stupidly mean about something dumb.

If I sometimes come in really strong with five million disclaimers in my napoleon asks/responses, even just the silly, purely speculative ones that no one sensible expects Real Serious History to result from - questions that clearly fall into the camp of shit a friend would ask you at the bar after four pints - things like: "was he queer? do you think he had add/adhd? what do you speculate were mental health issues he may have had?" etc. it's because of this year/year-and-a-half shit show. (And my disclaimers don't always serve their purpose because this is, after all, the Piss on the Poor website and people lack attention to detail when reading. [That said, I'm just as guilty of it as well, so can't point too many fingers.])

anyway, the long and short is that MAN people were very anti-any idea that there might have been an iota of what we would term queerness in Napoleon. And MAN no one can be normal on this site about anything so of course there was unnecessary drama and hurt feelings and bitterness.

May we never repeat this stupid time.

[mlmshipbracket]

ROUND 1: POLL #21

EngieSpy/Napoleon Complex art by wavycat on Youtube

ROUND 1 POLLS [HERE]

PROPAGANDA BELOW

Spy/Dell Conagher [Engineer]:

Boston/Nick:

They were a disaster of a couple but it was great. They first hook up because Nick was repairing Boston's phone and went through the pictures and then jerked off to one of Boston's thirst traps and proceeded to leave his own on the phone, which when Boston saw, decided he might as well fuck him. And thus began the most emotionally complicated friends with benefits arrangement of all time. in a slight genre shift there would have definitely been some murders going on if we're being real

look this gif set of their first hook up haunts me

also these are quite fun

also this one lives rent free in my mind

[nick--knack]

Vive L'Empereur

[queenlucythevaliant]

'Yes, that old oak with which I saw eye to eye was here in this forest,' thought Prince Andrei. 'But whereabouts?' he wondered again, looking at the left side of the road and, without realizing, without recognizing it, admiring the very oak he sought. The old oak, quite transfigured, spread out a canopy of dark, sappy green, and seemed to swoon and sway in the rays of the evening sun. There was nothing to be seen now of knotted fingers and scars, of old doubts and sorrows. Through the rough, century-old bark, even where there were no twigs, leaves had sprouted, so juicy, so young that it was hard to believe that aged veteran had borne them.

'Yes, it is the same oak,' thought Prince Andrei, and all at once he was seized by an irrational, spring-like feeling of joy and renewal. All the best moments of his life of a sudden rose to his memory. Austerlitz, with that lofty sky, the reproachful look on his dead wife's face, Pierre at the ferry, that girl thrilled by the beauty of the night, and that night itself and the moon and ... everything suddenly crowded back into his mind.

'No, life is not over at thirty-one,' Prince Andrei decided all at once, finally and irrevocably. 'It is not enough for me to know what I have in me- everyone else must know it too: Pierre, and that young girl who wanted to fly away into the sky; all of them must learn to know me, in order that my life may not be lived for myself alone.

From War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

[araiz-zaria]

I Miss My Friend...😔🥺

[chicago-geniza]

My friends came over and helped me clean and I infodumped at them about medieval cuisine and Napoleon's autistic swag

[drieddpetals]

wylan: *says napoleon ice cream instead of neapolitan ice cream*

jesper: "napoleon???"

wylan: "...yeah? is that not what it's called?"

jesper: "wylan, love, it's neapolitan."

wylan: "...omg i've been saying napoleon my whole life"

jesper: *teasing him* "yes, my favorite ice cream flavor, the general who liberated france from the monarchy"

wylan: "stop😭😭"

[empirearchives]

Actual live footage of Marie Louise meeting Napoleon after complaining about having to marry the Corsican ogre, circa 1810:

[jswatson]

elections are coming up. 3 of them. only one wrong answer

pls tag or comment your secret 4th pedros for more representative future pedro sanchez elections