#New profile pic on my core blog

[falling-down-the-scroll-hole]

If you see this image as an icon in your DMs or your activity graph... I have found you... there will be no mercy.

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY 205

Part One (Continued on 206)

From January on, I've been in an emotional whirlwind as I've learned more about Peter Steele. I've been blogging about it lightly here on Tumblr.

First, the fun stuff.

❎ Entry 169 - Meme

❎ Entry 175 and 181 - Pics

❎ Entry 194 - Fan Art

❎ Entry 204 - Type O Eyeshadow

❎ Entry 208 - Meme

❎ Entry 214 - Intro w/ Singers

❎ Entry 222 - Introducing Myself to Both of Carnivore's Albums

❎ Entry 250 - October Rust Mentioned

❎ Entry 264 - Pete Loved His Fans

❎ Entry 307 - Gifs of Steele

Then, the others.

❎ Entry 74 - Learning for the first time about who he was as a person after research inspired by comments from fellow fans.

❎ Entry 170 - Experiencing the first death anniversary since having a better understanding of who he was as a person.

The fun stuff is pretty much just a vague, visual representation of my middle-aged self rediscovering Peter Steele, seeing him in a new light, and appreciating him in different ways than I did before. The others are a light walk through of what I started seeing and how I started reacting. There was so much I didn't know. And once I thought I got the jist of it, there was more.

Entry 74, I see comments on Instagram prior to deleting my profile, accusing his last gf of negligence. Seriously disturbed due to the shock of it from the lack of knowledge, I tried looking it up to see if it was true. Couldn't find any info on that but found lots of info on Peter himself.

This is when I found out Peter Steele was the full package. Men that have beautiful faces like that often accompany them with cruel tongues and empty minds. Not Peter.

Intelligent, wise, kind, and humble to name a few. The full package. Making him one of the most gorgeous men to ever exist. A rare find indeed. Combine that with his voice, talent, style, and presence, and you'll soon see why women everywhere would fall to their knees in love and lust for him.

Unfortunately, that full package came alongside an ample amount of heartbreak.

It bothered me to my core to think about a man like Peter suffering so much at the hands of any toxic women he may have given his heart to in the wake of everything.

I took temporary comfort in assuming he was surrounded by friends that would help lift him up if ever he was down, especially his band mates whom I heard he grew up with. I assumed, and life continued on as normal for a time.

The 14-year death anniversary rolls around and as I said in Entry 170, I'm feeling it more than ever before because now, I have a better understanding of who died, making his loss that much more deeper and tragic.

Not only was a kind heart lost, but a pure soul that suffered greatly, making the pain of the anniversary rival even the death itself.

You see, I'm heavily reliant on what I hear, read, and watch because of the obvious fact that I didn't know Peter Steele personally and I wasn't there when certain things were taking place.

I learned more about him and started to favor him above all other singers, including Trent Reznor who I've worshipped since the teen days. I started looking up more pics and performances (eventually inspiring a blog consisting of nothing but pictures of Peter, telling myself to stop lol).

All bittersweet and intriguing but then, a recent article and an older vid that I ended up coming across paved the way for that dreadful feeling at the beginning of the year to return.

This is why I said earlier that I took "temporary comfort." But at that time, I didn't know it was temporary and I didn't know what else was about to cross my path.

My heart broke for him all over again. I'm suddenly reminded of those scary pictures circulating on Facebook with a caption that reads, "the longer you stare at it, the worse it gets."

I'll start with the article, which was released on May 6th of this year (2024), featuring an interview with Sal Abruscato, Type O Negative's original drummer. Word for word, this is what he said and mind you, I'm reading this for the first time while still learning about Peter.

"He was a good guy. He was a sweet guy. He had a good heart. At the end of the day, he had a good heart, but he was also very vulnerable. He was vulnerable. He knew deep down inside becoming successful was gonna be his demise, because I'll tell you, one thing I did see from being on the outside of Type O Negative, watching the deterioration that happened over the years, people used him. He was a nice guy, he was generous, they fucking used him. And everybody was using him, even his own band members were using him, because he was a workhorse. And everybody tried the best they could. He had a very bad problem, and I know everybody tried the best they could, but it was too little too late."

That wasn't easy to read. Neither was the next part. 💔

"I remember talking to him literally two weeks before he passed, and he told me that all he had left was $3,500 bucks to his name. So he died basically in Pennsylvania alone, in a way. Yeah, he had his girlfriend, yeah, whatever, but all the way out there. Everybody dissipated when the drugs were over, 'cause he had to be sober and clean. He was clean for nine months when he died. And when he told me that, it was like... And he told me people that I'll never name. He told me that he lent money to people, that people never paid him back because he had a good heart. Friends took advantage of him. And it's a shame that it ended like that for him. Had he maybe went to the doctor's on a regular basis too, maybe he could have... But again, the damage was done. But that was the side of Pete was that he was a good guy and a prophetic artist, a prophetic lyricist. Had a vision that went three steps ahead of everyone else. A brilliant guy, very smart, very smart guy in a lot of different ways. Not like 'doctor book smart,' but smart in other ways, artistically and the way he saw things. He was very intelligent."

Vulnerability; pain and love can do that to a person. The thought of this gentle giant who was generous and a hard worker being surrounded by snakes literally makes my stomach turn. "They used him," it said.

"Deterioration that happened over the years," oh my heart. Is that part of the reason why he deteriorated? Were people just taking pieces of him until there was nothing left to take? I despise the thought of the people he was counting on attempting to drain him. Imagine if his millions of fans knew he was being hurt. There would've been an unholy uprising. His fans love him.

I want to ask if Peter Steele would've been around the right people, would success still have been his demise? If he was surrounded by protectors and healers, would the outcome have been the same? I said it in my 74th blog about Peter when I first started learning about him. Men like this, regardless of how big and tall and strong they are, need to be protected. Their bodies are hard but their hearts are fragile.

The creator of something timeless, original, and legendary had $3,500.00 left to his name. Simply criminal after everything Peter had created throughout the course of his career. I was wondering about his income though. I saw a brief home vid of him and one of his cats and I couldn't help but notice his surroundings. It wasn't what I assumed. It just didn't look like a place where an accomplished and famous singer and musician should be living. I was unknowingly soon to get detail on that.

I saw another quick vid of him talking about building a nice, big house in a beautiful wooded area a while back. I looked it up given the home vid I just saw, "that can't be the place he wanted to build." Come to find out he lived in a duplex before he died and that $3,500 would not have afforded the house he wanted to build.

I saw it when I googled where he lived before passing. I thought the entire house was his at first sight and then my jaw dropped to the floor when I read that he lived "on the right side." Peter deserved a monstrous Victorian mansion with beautiful gothic interior, with millions more in the bank to build and decorate with. Criminal and unfair to say the very least.

Aside from this article, I read that Peter was a little awkward growing up, as was I. You grow up knowing friends are often hard to come by. It probably felt good to him in adulthood to be around people and to form connections and to do good things for them, but some of those people were the wrong ones to be that kind of person with.

I can't imagine how disappointed and heartbroken he must've felt finding out many of those people were merely around for drugs and money. Just more loss and abandonment for a good heart and a pure soul. He deserved better.

Sal called him a "prophetic lyricist." Prophetic! In considering the meaning of that word, it makes the lyrics, "life is killing me" gut-wrenchingly sad.

"The way he saw things," that statement was regarding his creativity and intelligence but how did he see his life? How dark were things for him? And the million dollar question, was Peter Steele safe anywhere?

Sal said even his band mates took advantage of him. I wondered about the dynamic between them and Sal. I also wondered if perhaps that's why his last gf didn't want them talking to him before he passed. Although, I did continue to wonder if people were still accusing her of neglecting Peter. There's a lot to wonder and there's a lot of angles to wonder from too.

Wonder, wondered, wondering; it's all speculation. I wasn't there. Lots of questions are gonna accompany me to my grave, unanswered, and I better make my peace with that asap but it's hard. Not like it would change anything, but I still want to know what happened to this man and who was around him.

Who truly had his best interest at heart? Anybody? That's something else I may wonder forever. Who was fighting for him? Who was fighting for his health? Who was fighting for his life?

The whole process did leave me a little suspicious that perhaps nearly everyone around him dropped the ball at some point, in some form or fashion, maybe even when he needed them the most.

People obviously wanted things from him, but who wanted him? Who wanted him to be well? Who cared for him outside of the celebrity? Who cared for him as Peter and not the singer of Type O Negative?

I mentioned the older vid alongside the article I just responded to, but I think I'm gonna break this up into two parts because this already turned out to be quite lengthy.

All in all, his story is weighing on me and I cannot believe that I've loved his music for so long but never knew any of this, and I mean any of it. I just never knew.

And finding this out for the first time makes me wish in such a childish way that either I, or the army of his fans could just somehow go back in time and scoop him up, getting him to safety but as Sal said, "too little too late." He's gone. Still here through music and memory but physically gone, and we can never get him back to fix things for him.

He would be 62 years old if he were alive today. And if he were, I would hope he would have everything his heart could ever desire, especially true love, reverence, happiness, and inner peace.

Eating healthy and staying sober to keep himself going, maybe even a solo project so he could call the shots and have a schedule he's comfortable with. He could hire people that respect him, that will listen to him.

He might've even started a family with a good woman who loves him outside of the celebrity and will take good care of him and his children. That's what I would've advocated for, but who knows.

We can all daydream on what might have been out of desperation for comfort and solace. Comfort and solace from a grueling reality that none of us can change no matter how badly we miss him.

If it was that hard to read about, I couldn't imagine what it was like to go through.

For what it's worth, I'm so sorry Peter. RIP

Part Two and more thoughts later.

[ashspecter]

Hello & Welcome to my lair!

My name is Ash (main: @ashseadreamer). If you have found this blog, you're in luck! This is my DP blog— I reblog a lot of DP content (fanart, ao3 links, etc) and post news about my fic(s) and wips ✨

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'm always lurking.

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Join the Core AU Discord!

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For info on requests (writing & art) and my main series/fics, check below the cut.

Writing Request Box: [OPEN]

I take hcs, one-shots, imagines, and drabbles; some art. Whatever i draw is usually for myself and friends, but if you persuade me, I'll draw for y'all too.

Please note the rules for writing requests here.

Fic Master Post

Phic Phight '24 MP

Art Master Post

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Collab Requests: [OPEN]

If you would like to collaborate on a fic, please send me an ask or DM. I would love to work with you and I will respond as soon as I can!

So Phic Phight inspired me to create a whole new series involving the Ghost Zone (and its lore), Clockwork, Pariah Dark, and a bunch of other things.

The Court of Time & War is a series published on Ao3, you need to be signed in to interact.

Want to listen to music that will match the tone? Check out the one I created over on Spotify!

One of the biggest things I post about here is my fic Consequences. It can be read on Ao3, but there are some snippets and chapters here on Tumblr.

This is a Dad Vlad AU, where Vlad has a long-lost daughter who seeks him out to escape her current, not-so-good life. This fic contains very dark themes, so be sure to read the tags and description before you begin reading.

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Profile pic: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1342558

[vdragon57]

Hi! I'm Dragon, She/Her pronouns please!

I am a minor!!!!! No NSFW here pretty pretty please. I occasionally post art, but I don't have a great camera, so I apologize for picture quality ahead of time 🤧 Profile picture by yours truly, and header (i think that's what it's called?) soon to come. (i'm working on it)

No hate on my blog please!

I'm trying to be more accepting of different kinds of people, but please be patient with me. I'm fairly new to the internet, and I don't know a lot of different people, so if I get something wrong, please politely correct me! I want to help people feel safe and accepted.

Fandoms:

Ace Attorney- I haven't quite finished JFA yet so no spoilers! I ship NaruMitsu, Magshoe, and I'm ok with FranMaya, though I'm not quite sure what my stance on it is yet. MCYT- I watch Scott Smajor, Hermitcraft(mostly S6-8), Empires(S1-S2, but i prefer S1), Traffic Series(I'm so far behind- i still need to watch Secret Life 🥲), and I love the watcher stuff. I ship pretty much everything, but my earliest ships that hold a place in my heart are Desert Duo and Flower Husbands. I only ship characters, not CCs. Tangled the Series- I've seen all of it, and love Vat7K stuff. I ship Varigo and New Dream. Amphibia-I love this fandom. Spranne against the world! I lowkey ship Sashanarcy. Misc Cartoons- I've seen up to season six of Adventure Time, all of Steven Universe, all of The Owl House, all of Gravity Falls, I want to watch Avatar at some point, and I'm working on getting through all of Pokemon. (I've watched about half of the sun and moon series, and I'm to episode i think 21 of the indigo league) Glitch Productions- I've seen both Murder Drones and The Amazing Digital Circus, and though I love both, I prefer Murder Drones. I don't ship anyone hard-core in TADC, but I do like Ragapom and GanglexZooble. I ship Nuzi in MD, but I'm ok with Nuvi. I also love Thad. I tend to fandom hop pretty quickly but I think for now I'm gonna stick with my old fandoms. My brain's full enough from school without having to stuff the name and personality from every side character from every show imaginable 😓.

If you have any suggestions for stuff I should watch or read, please tell me! I'm looking for things to watch.

I'll also take drawing prompts if A) I figure where to find asks

B) I want to/am capable of it

Don't follow me if you have a generic profile pic, name, or have nothing on your blog. I will block you. I will also block any blog that makes me uncomfortable- don't take it personally, I'm just trying to protect my innocence a little bit. Don't be offended if i don't answer asks- i have a wee bit of anxiety and makes it hard to respond to internet strangers sometimes. i'll try to answer art asks tho ^^

My art tag is DragonDraws!

[daydreamrry]

so did the sun article mention her or not? i saw someone say whenever it’s a n article from his team it never mentions her, unlike from her team. //

I was the anon that wrote that and I didn’t notice it at the bottom lol but I’m also not convinced Harry’s team approved that part. Back to the SEO post another anon linked to… what if the Sun added that part in just to boost their own SEO ranking. Editors can change pieces so I bet the Sun added that in. PR doesn’t completely control what is written they just heavily persuade and guide the piece. (I work in PR)

Here’s a prime example what I meant tho. This is an example of something Harry’s team sent in:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.capitalfm.com/news/harry-styles-nick-kroll-dont-worry-darling-gifts/

Notice how it was posted in March of this year but no mention of Holivia just Olivia as director briefly? This publication posts super positively about Harry in general and has done a lot of articles detracting from Holivia. Everyone wants to hate on his team, but hear me out on this theory.

I think his team has been actually working really hard to keep Harry’s brand as disassociated from her as possible while the stunt continues. That’s part of all the winning of awards (not to say he didn’t earn them but a lot of awards are political, esp. Grammys) and why Liam and Ed keeping bringing him up, that’s why Lorde talked about him, and Joshua whoever Olivia Rodrigos ex, and why Jen Aniston wore the same suit as him for People, why Courtney Cox covered his song. Yes all these people get clout from his name but think about how many random people have been talking about him lately??? Why?? Image restoration. All of these people have done nothing but say amazing and positive things about him. PR people talk a lot and it’s not a stretch that they’d be involved somehow in all these random positive mentions. It’s their job to find these connections and positively promote their clients. Why do they care so much about his image?? HS3 baby!! Harry wants to be and his team wants to market him as one of the greats of his time (Grammys, high profile articles with RS and famous music journalists, placement on 500 best albums and 500 best songs?) More than anything Harry wants critical acclaim for his music. They do not want it cheapened by being tied to Olivia. The article today proved it to me. They laid out that he wrote it before her and they will continue to say that and steer album marketing as far from as they can strategically. Think about it. How much press has Olivia gotten not tied to Holivia and how much press has Harry gotten not tied to Holivia? Exactly!

Theory continued: I also think his team reads these blogs and they know that we all think it’s PR. I think maybe they are the ones leaving some of the “it’s PR” comments on the DM and other Holivia articles not the GP. (Go look up what they did for Eroda and all the fake Twitter accounts they made for that marketing push) If everyone thinks the relationship is fake even if stories say otherwise, this angle is better because he didn’t really break up a family/date her anyway. Olivia still gets name recognition and tabloids get clicks. That’s why I think we see Harry being so over it. At first his team wanted to sell the it’s real thing to water down the home wrecker narrative they’ve worked so hard to clear (why he wasn’t looking horribly miserable although still strange in the January photos) but they noticed we weren’t buying it. Now they’re purposely seeding doubt and straight up disconnecting him publicly from her as much as possible. They’re the ones that fed that Page 6 article about him singing about his ex in front of her. They’re trying to make her look bad guys! Why? It’s better for Harry that we’re thinking poor Harry caught up in this stunt with such an annoying person. It’s actually sort of hilarious. And real tea I think Jason’s team is doing the same thing so I doubt there’s any real bad blood between Jason and Harry bts or any of their shared friends. That’s why the subtle shade with the kids and Jason before the Emmys and the classic doodle line. Like damn. She’s probably on the phone so much talking to her PR team about how to salvage any of this and it sells her girlboss image. He’ll still make fun of the situation on SNL but I bet Olivia comes out looking the worst. The only confusing part is Jeff? Why would he hype Olivia on the teaser Instagram story hmm? Why not Harry? Well he’s not gonna tag them both in the post and honestly I think they’re trying to distance Harry from the movie some too bc it’s tainted by her and the stunt. I’ll stand by Harry’s core team who’ve been around being loyal to him. I think tommy is dancing with Olivia like that bc he knows fans will capture it and she’ll look stupid.

I know this is a lot and sounds sort of crazy. I’m not a Larry or any of that but literally this whole thing has been so strange and this is the only explanation I can’t come up with. This is the first relationship I feel is a stunt truly without love or at least some romance involved. I don’t know what happened between them but that weird dancing video and the yacht pics really cemented it as being off for me. I don’t think Harry’s innocent or any of that either. I know he has flaws but I can’t for the life of me wrap my head around why someone who was so horribly paraded through the press with 1D would find themselves in this position again when he hasn’t had anything like this in the press for like 5 years? I know there are some pieces still missing like why did this all start in the first place?? I don’t think Harry would willingly tarnish his image even for a movie role. I don’t believe they were even seeding Holivia back then. I think they had him photographed with Flo stating they were just friends and the article about him being single to get ahead of any costar romance narratives. This was supposed to be a serious project for him. Something else happened that sent us all careening down this path to Holivia hell and it probably involves betrayal of some sort which is why he made that weird statement “thanks to everyone who has my back” at the brits. I’m convinced that DWD was supposed to be a movie to show he has acting range and that’s why he took the role, but it’s become some weird death trap.

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[hashtag-amf]

Welcome to my Tumblr blog. Here I will give my honest opinions and pour out my thoughts about the ideas behind my Wattpad books. You can take inspiration from this blog when you are planning to write a novel. I wanted to write a separate Wattpad book where I could talk about this. But I then decided that I wanted to reach a wider audience, and Tumblr was better suited for this purpose.

Please note: This will be posted in parts every Friday!

Edited by @wayward-heronstairs , @hashtag-amf and Hemingway Editor

I started my Wattpad journey in May 2016. I was staying at my cousin’s house, and she asked me whether I knew about the app called Wattpad. I had never heard the name before. It was such an odd name for an app, I thought to myself. I was not interested in downloading the app because reading didn't appeal to so much. A few hours later, I downloaded Wattpad. Yay.

Then came the shocker. I got my first follower. A thin guy with spectacles. I was nervous because I had never been on a social media platform before. I didn't know what to do. I was staring at his profile pic, wondering if he was a psychopath or just crazy enough to follow me on Wattpad. I am anxious like that. I wondered how on earth did he find my account within six hours as I had not posted any stories on Wattpad yet.

The first book I read on Wattpad was fanfic about 'The Fault in Our Stars.' At that time, I had no idea what fanfic was. I picked that book to read because I had watched TFIOS twice now. Unfortunately, I didn't like the fanfic, so I uninstalled the app the same night.

Then came December of 2016. It was the Christmas holidays, and I was very tired of studying. I owned that crappy Nokia XL neon green phone. Urgh, that stock Android phone was a nightmare. I downloaded Wattpad and looked for some good books to read. At that time, Midika Crane’s books were a huge hit. Her books had those dark black and white covers were guys with eight pack abs stared out of the cover at the reader. At first, I hated the cover because I thought she hadn't done a great job of selecting a good cover for the book. I remember clicking on 'Alpha Kaden', a currently published novel. I had spent half an hour on one page trying to decipher what was written. Halfway through the Prologue and I couldn't read more. Her professional level of writing was not understandable by me.

When I was halfway done with Midika’s book, I added ‘She’s With Me’ by Ava Violet to my Wattpad reading list. It was such an amazing book. I loved reading it. It was about Amelia who was running away from her past. She had enrolled herself in the school. I don’t remember the name because I read it a long time back) and she meets the heartthrob of the school and his friends. The story was like a cliché romance novel but what stood out was Amelia’s back story.

After reading more than 90 books on Wattpad I decided to make a writing debut on Wattpad. I spent more time reading Wattpad books than studying. I would read Wattpad books in the canteen, the student's study room, at home when my mom wasn't watching. It was addicting. In 2017, the first book I wrote was a fanfic of Hellboy, the 2004 film. I never imagined myself writing fanfiction about a movie I was so scared to watch. As a child, I was so terrified of that movie that the moment I saw Hellboy on the screen, I would look away in fear. All that I remember as a kid was the scene from the second installment of the movie 'The Golden Army'. He was holding twin infants wrapped in a white blanket. There was some sort of fantasy creatures running around the street. Hellboy was spot on with his aim, that she shot them with his gun.

Then in May 2014, I got a chance to watch Hellboy on the television again. As a teenager, I wasn't scared of him anymore, but I was more intrigued by it. I loved that movie so much that I had a crush on John Myers (Rupert Evans). He was 'the dude that didn't get the girl', you know. I empathized with him as he took so much trouble by fighting alongside Hellboy. He deserved more.

Later in the movie, the professor tells John that he is dying, and Hellboy needs someone in his absence. In the movie, Hellboy treated Myers like trash. He is more of a nanny and less of an FBI Agent. And because of this, Myers tells the professor that he cannot stay at the BRDP any longer. The professor tells him that he chose him for a reason as he saw potential in Myers. He adds that in many medieval stories there is a white night and Myers was that. He tells him to take care of Hellboy after he passes away.

Another reason why I felt like writing fanfic was that Myers and Liz's chemistry was so adorable. He tried his best to flirt with Liz (Selma Blair). I hoped that he and Liz ended up as a couple. But Hollywood movies are unkind to side actors. So, when Hellboy got the girl, my heart dropped. My heart couldn't handle it. I was screaming at this heartbreaking injustice. I was like, this man needs a girl. I had to make a way to help him get the girl so that I didn't have this heaviness building inside me.

Above: Rupert Evans as John Myers in Hellboy (2004)

And thanks to being a Wattpad writer, I came up with my own story. I named it Hellboy 3. The reason for keeping this title was because of Hellboy: The Golden Army released in 2008. I didn’t want to confuse readers about which Hellboy movie the fanfic was about. I researched Wikipedia thinking that Rupert Evans had reprised his role as John Myers in it, but I was wrong. As per Wikipedia reports, Evans was filming ‘The Kiss of a Spiderwoman’ so he couldn’t be a part of the movie.

Writing the fanfic was challenging. I was stumbling through the dialogues and the scenes. I thought that this will not get more than 20 chapters, but if I am not wrong, it surpassed 20 chapters. The story got some likes, some encouraging comments, but then I was not happy with my writing. I deleted it.

In 2017-ish, I wrote another story about vampires. I wrote down the story on one of the leftover books I had in my drawer. I had a good time writing it as it was one of my original stories. I made my original characters, a mythical place cursed by time. I named it ‘The Kingsmen’. Then after I had filled half of the pages by writing, I decided it was time to edit. I posted it on Wattpad. I published the chapters with no updating schedule. After surpassing fifteen chapters, I deleted the book because the grammar was awful. I felt I was adding unnecessary commas after the dialogues. I didn't have someone to edit the story, and I also had this nagging suspicion that my mom knew I wasn't studying. I hated college because I would get tired, and the studies bored me to the core. I studied for the heck of it. Everything was fine when one fine day, I forgot the password to my Wattpad account.

It was hell on earth. Panic rose within me. It was like the end of the world was near. I tried to calm myself down. I had to remember the password. I felt that I was such a miserable person for forgetting a simple thing as a password. I tried password recovery. I scourged my Gmail account for the recovery link, but Wattpad wasn't sending the link. At that time, Wattpad was super slow when it came to sending recovery links for passwords. I remember Wattpad sent me recovery passwords five hours later. Wattpaders know that logging via recovery link is time-sensitive. When I clicked the link, Wattpad said that the link wasn't valid. I did this three times till my patience wore me out.

I was devastated. I had put so much of my heart and soul while writing that book. It was my baby, and now the account was gone….I didn't cry. Thank God I didn't cry. I was sad. It felt like someone took a piece of my heart away from me and didn't return it.

This is how it looked:

In January 2018, I made a new account on Wattpad. Now I have written down all the passwords in a notebook, not going to repeat the mistake.

Okay! This was the end of part one. Tell me how you liked it!!

By the way, I got the chance to watch Hellboy (2004) on the television today. John Myers is such a cutie!! Please check my latest IG highlights for the video. I cannot embedded the video on Tumblr :( 

[bd-handystand]

Callout Response

(Contains reference to many triggering items including mentions of pedophilia, transphobia, homestuck, racism. I am simply trying to make amends and clear up miscommunications. If you are okay with continuing....)

I am going to go through all the things mentioned in the call out and give my defenses, apologies or other statements on the regards to these. I am sorry if my wording is very poor here, as I started this at 1 am and worked on it across a few days with review from friends. I had asked for someone to also get me a list of my offenses from someone I know is a part of the callout but they didn’t get back to me with it so I may have missed things.

"Aging up a Minor for NSFW Content" and "Transphobia"

I can understand how me making NSFW content of a character build off of/inspired by a minor would make people extremely uncomfortable. When this was brought to my attention, I deleted the art in question on my main. I have no interest or intent on making further lewd art using Oe/Oeya, or any lewd art at all for that matter. (Should merevent return, I will likely create a new event muse entirely). After having it brought further to my attention, I feel nothing but regret for making it at all. I had thought that establishing him as much more different than his inspiration and making his age clear would keep this from being a problem but it appears that I was mistaken.

The transphobia I can also understand how people could see it, as I was toying with their shape shift ability in one of my first attempts at NSFW art. I deeply apologize if this experimentation made anyone reading this uncomfortable: know that it will never happen again. I am not transphobic.

To whoever in the ring of callout anons is distributing one or both of the deleted pieces of art, please stop.

"Homestuck Crimes"

I acknowledge that Homestuck has problematic elements. I understand that to some or even many that the negative outweighs the positive aspect. Homestuck also has a lot of creative elements that I like exploring. I properly tag Homestuck and those of the Homestuck AU I used for Bethesjo with "-character name- (HS)", to try and make it easy to avoid. If I mistag, I am open to people telling me so I may add the desired tags.

To repeat: I do not support many of the views expressed in Homestuck, but find some of the positive core aspects enjoyable, inspiring, or simply fun to mess with. It is something I enjoy, even with its problematic points and I apologize for making continual use of it for inspiration and ideas.

"Racism in making bestial / feral event versions of a PoC muse"

I, again, am very sorry for this. I tend to go wild with ideas for these events and create things without thinking of major implications.

When I made CnC Okuyasu an orc, I simply felt that it clicked. I always enjoyed Orcs aesthetically! The uncontrolled magic played into a favorite fantasy trope of mine, so I decided to use that too. When I created Oe, I, in all honesty, was just trying very hard to avoid drawing fish in any capacity or arms and had recently watched Moana. (Once again, I will likely create a new muse should merevent return for round 3) Magical Girl event Okuyasu was inspired by the combination of Tokyo Mew Mew and part of Magical Girl Apocalypse (that too having problematic things but I could not overlook them in their quantity, causing me to drop interest in the manga itself but not its concept). The Okuyasu embedded with the flesh bud (Okuyasu (Dio) in my tagging) was spawned by an art meme, but I grew to enjoy the idea. His minimal time shown due to lack of asks for him also paint him in a low point that does not reflect their state most of the time. When I created Nijimi, I wanted to play off the idea of deities being shaped by the human idea of them, using Okuyasu's money imagery to create a deity of charity turned into a beast of greed. (Should the deity event return, I will try and create a new muse for it: not only in light of this, but because I am unsure what else I can do with them and Nicho.) WoF Okuyasu was born from my interest in Mr. Nijimura's condition in context of undeath, wanting to do something similar with WoF Okuyasu while also playing with other tropes. The former Stand Infection event Okuyasu, now dubbed Ghost in the Machine, was meant to be a play in the unpredictable nature not only of glitches but someone hyped on caffeine. He also was the result of working with dio-theshitpost-brando and I was pulling too from their concepts. The new Stand Infection Okuyasu being identified with a number as shown in a few art memes was inspired by the SCP Foundation, not the holocaust or anything of the like. I know no one mentioned this in any call out material but I know that it would likely be used out of context too should I avoid acknowledging it.

As I hopefully go further into the future, I will try and think more of the implications of this, under all of the AUs, is a PoC minor. Again, I am sorry for causing any offense.

"The Cow Incident"

I will say that I should have been more firm but I will say that I view the general idea of adding horns, ears, and tail does not inherently make something negative, mostly the context or the content being made with this concept. The blogs, from my understanding, made multiple references to the act of milking, which then makes it awkward and uncomfortable. Making a direct comparison between PoC and cattle is also bad. Doing it simply for a cute design or without ill intent, in my eyes, is okay. I'm sorry if my stance still remains unclear or poorly worded or if you disagree.

"Comment Deletion and ignoring asks"

For those commenting on my YouTube channel, I did not do so because I was afraid or being overly defensive. I had stated my stances, apologies and regrets in other replies and felt like I was not being listened to and hounded. I deleted these comments and asks for the sake of my mental health, as I had fallen into a depressive episode at the large wave of angry anons.

Comments and asks deleted in the beginning of the cow incident were deleted to keep the discourse off The Hand blog and to minimize further asks on the matter, as it was 2 am at the time and I was getting very stressed over it.

“Headcanoning a Minor as Ace”

The funny thing is, I don’t headcanon Okuyasu as ace. As for saying that having headcanons of this nature is sexualizing minors I will say this: it depends on the age. Headcanon, say, a 6 year old as bi or gay or what have you seems a bit off but the teenage years are often when one discovers the labels for themselves and grows to be comfortable with them. Understanding your orientation is not inherently about someone having sex, but understanding what you as an individual find attractive in one way shape or form. I, myself, am ace. I used Okuyasu as my icon on my main for a long while now. I put Okuyasu with the ace flag for my main blog’s profile pic because I am proud to be ace and Okuyasu is who I associate with. Not to turn the gun, but the suggestion that headcanoning a character as ace is seen as worse than any other orientational headcanon is rather aphobic.

I am trying to improve myself every day. I want my blogs to be nice places, not just for me, but for the visitors. I had no ill intent when doing anything, but I also was unaware of the severity of the implications of my work. I am open to criticism and reminders to tag or rework things, but please be mindful that I’m only human and prone to human error and lapses in judgement. I also can try my damndest to fix what wrongs I have done.

I am going to let this circulate for a few days and then hopefully I can turn on anon once again without large waves of anger. I am sorry and I hope WE won’t have to do this again. - Z

[takaraphoenix]

In light of tumblr actually committing suicide, I’m feeling nostalgic and would like to tell you all about my first real online community experience. Because everybody always has their MySpace or LiveJournal stories... and I was never on either of those.

I want to tell you about a site that is called Animexx. And... it changed a lot since I was really active on it and it was by far never perfect, but at its skeletal structure, it’s something I am still seeking out and I genuinely don’t understand why such a type of site doesn’t exist in a broader, English context. Let me rephrase that to make it clearer: It’s a German site... well... there seems to be a .com version that’s actually English, but somehow everything still shows up in German so I don’t know about that. And, as the name might suggest, it is primarily focused on anime/manga/Jpop.

So, this is less of a recommendation and more of a... pitch of my dream online-experience, based on how that site worked, with some side-notes on upgrades. But, at its core, it’s essentially a mixture of DeviantArt, Fanfiction.Net, tumblr and then some more.

(I’ll be talking in past-tense because I haven’t really been on the site in 10 years so I genuinely don’t know what changed and what is still the same.)

Fanworks

Obviously. Only that the site had different partitions for different types of fanworks. Not like tumblr where everything is just one endless pit that you get lost in.

You had fanarts, that were sorted by TV show/movie/book/band/whatever so you could actually go and properly look for them. It’s one of the things I hate about DeviantArt; that you don’t have specific categories to post fanarts under in the same way you’d do it with fics on FFNet/AO3 so you can browse specifically for them. In my ideal world, we would also add a tagging-function like on AO3 for it, including things such as pairing tags and character tags so you could actually find shit easier.

You had fanfiction. WITH a tagging function - just like on AO3. AND you had ONE feature that I AM STILL DEARLY MISSING. Seriously, both FFNet and AO3 make me bemoan the loss of the Character Descriptions.

See, you’d click on the fic and firstly be presented with the fic’s main page. A list of all chapters, the tags, the summary and the stats. And above it are tags.

You can (still, as proven by fresh and new screenshot) upload character profiles, including a picture of the character and a chart with whatever information you want to give - name/age/whatever. Which, particularly in AUs is immensely practical. “Wait what magical creature was that again?”.

And not just that. The tab right next to “Characters”? “Illustrations”. Since the site itself hosts fanarts too, you could directly mark the art you upload as an illutration to a specific fic and they’d then be linked to connect with each other.

Now, granted, their fanfiction system is not perfect - there are a lot of rules/censoring. But this very system? The system of including additional character information and allowing a direct link between a fic and its illustrations? That is perfect. And I miss it very dearly.

And fanfiction and fanarts aren’t where fanworks end. It also had its own doujinshi - comic - site. Because that is also a thing I hate on DeviantArt. If you’re lucky, someone posting a comic will also include a link to the last page in the description. No. On here, comics worked just like fanfiction in that you have it all together. They too are separated into chapters, if the author so pleases, and you can just subscribe to a comic like you’d do to a fanfiction. Seriously, how has this function not reached DeviantArt yet...? This site has had it for literal eighteen years now...

Photos also had their separate sub-site, like cosplay photos and such.

Now, nowadays and with my experience here on tumblr, on an ideal website we would also add a separate GIF-site to it.

Community

For one, your profile is way more elaborate than on... any other site I’ve seen. Aside from many options on what to put on it - like multiple profile pics, multiple tabs on your biography (mostly used to linking to other things... that is actually why my FFNet profile looks the way it does, because that’s how I used to keep it in the olden days, only that I would actually be able to separate the timeline and the updating schedule onto different tags for easier access...).

You also had a guestbook, much like how you can publically comment on people’s profiles on DeviantArt.

It also had a direct link to your personal blog. Which, you don’t have to use obviously, but yeah. There’s also a blogging function.

Of course it also has a private messaging function. Only that it’s actually a good and proper one. I love that FFNet has one, but it sucks because it’s just all clogging up your inbox. No, this site has one that works essentially like your average e-mail account; you can create folders and sort your fucking mail like a civilized person.

Additonally to the private messaging function, there is also a chat on here.

There is also an RPG community. Not like on tumblr where just... everything is everywhere and whatever. It’s neatly separated, just like the fics and fanarts and comics and photos. Everything has its place. Seriously, why are American sites so fucking unorganized, it drives me crazy.

Now, the best part about the community were the Circles. That’s what they were called. They’re forums, really. Clubs, kinda.

You could start one about... whatever. Like, dedicated to a particular ship. And you, as the admin, could then proceed however you want. Public? Or only after applying, meaning that the admin had to let you in. Especially after meeting the phenomenon of antis, I miss this dearly, because... just imagining having a Circle for fans of your “problematic fave” and moderating who gets in - meaning only letting in actual fans of the character - so they can safely post about them there.

Each Circle included multiple forums, however many you want. Say, one generally talking about the ship, one about that chara, one about the other, another about gift exchanges, fic recommendations, or literally whatever you want.

And a Circle could directly link to its members’ fanfiction and fanarts - or well those relevant for the Circle at hand.

Those were really where the sense of community came from. You had your... yeah, your safe space to talk about whatever you loved with other people who also love it. No risk of publically posting about your fave and some dumbass hijacking the post or bullying you about it. You just had your forums inside the Circle and got to talk about what you love.

There is much more that the site had to offer - a direct shop where fanartists could sell merch and printed versions of their comics, an event page where you could easily find fan-events near you (or far away from you, depending on what you’re looking for), heck it even doubled as a dating site - but that just to sum up what I really miss about this site and how it worked.

And I just... I genuinely don’t understand why such a thing, in this day and age of fandom being so huge, doesn’t exist on a broader scale, in a mainly English-speaking context. A site that seamlessly unites the different aspects of fandom - fanarts, fanfiction, fan-comics, community and blogging.

Both DeviantArt and tumblr are a garbage mess, let’s be very clear on that, because they allow absolutely no way of properly and easily accessing only fanworks to one specific fandom. It’s not like sorting into fandoms is a new thing; fanfiction does it even on fucking Fanfiction.Net so why does it seem so wild for non-fanfiction sites to also include such a function...? Not to mention, when talking about those two examples, a proper and neat separation of the different types of fanworks. Yes, a rudimentary system exists, but... not a clear-cut and simple one, for some reason.

For me, who I come from a site that united all sides of fandom so easily and for free, it has always been absolutely beyond me that you need different accounts on different sites for your different fandom-experience - tumblr for blogging, DeviantArt for a half-way good system on fanarts, AO3/FFNet for fanfiction (and yes, I know many just post everything on tumblr, but with how it is indistinguishable when it comes to looking for specific things, this is clearly not what tumblr was really meant to do...).

I just want... one site to unite them all but also do it systematically and not in one hot-mess pile of EVERYTHING where you have to entirely rely on luck and tags, instead of sub-categories of a) types of fanwork and b) fandoms. Seriously, it can’t be that hard and it has literally been around for eighteen years now in Germany. Is it just because we Germans like to be organized, or what...?

And, to end this post: If you actually know such a site, drop me a link. If you feel inspired and make such a site, also drop me a link.

[everything-anything3345]

A timely reminder for those of you who are new to the blog. I'm a 55 year old male. I'm not a lesbian mother. I post Lesbians. I post Transgirls. I post straight women, bisexual women. I post old movies, I mean really old. I post Wrestling, vintage commercials and yes I post Conservative politics because that is what I am. But I also post Satanic and Gothic girls as well. Their's something here for nearly everyone. Just no lefty politics and gore is avoided unless it's a hard core Wrestling match. My description of women , Lesbians and Transgirls are written from the male perspective. Perhaps some of you are confused with the profile pic and the cover photo. That can be easily explained. The profile pic indicates my darker impulses, my cover photo the Queen of Extreme Francine is to indicate a wide range of topics from different extremes. And also that the images of both females are a far more attractive lure to my blog than images of me would ever be. I was handsome when I was younger. My youth is gone. I'm in my mid 50's. I prefer to look at younger women, Transgirls and Lesbians as they turn me on. Also women who are sexy mature MILF'S are also hot turn ons as well. Hope this clears things up a bit.

[theadamantium]

Harri’s Travel Blog - India 2018

Over the past decade, I’ve been quite fortunate to travel a decent chunk of this globe. But like anything so special, no matter how satisfying an experience, I am always hungry for more. I developed a fixation for culture. For every item I’ve crossed off the bucket list, I seem to add six others. But I will admit, India wasn’t on that list before.

India was my Mom’s dream. It was the top of her list and she wanted to experience it before she was “too old.” Meet my Mom for five minutes and you’ll see it’ll be a long time before she’s too old for anything. I knew she wanted to have this experience with me, her spoiled only child, before he was tied down with too many commitments. So I said, “let’s do it!” My Mom and I travel very well together. We have similar get-up-and-go styles and a do-it-all-while-you’re-here mentality. My Mom won’t shy away from long drives, elephant rides, local participation, live music, and exotic foods. As our guide would put it, “The heart of the mother becomes the soul of the child.” As I started doing research prior to our trip I began to see why India was such a priority for my Mom.

The Itinerary

As a quick outline of our plan, we set out to tackle The Golden Triangle – New Delhi, Agra & Jaipur – with a stop in Ranthambore National Park in the middle and a few extra days heading west to Jodhpur and Udaipur. Fun India fact, cities ending in ‘Pur’ were ruled by Hindu kings, while cities ending in ‘Bahd’ were ruled by Muslim kings.

On out first day in India we met with our guide, Raj, and our driver, Mr. Singh. We’d all be paired together for the next two weeks. Lucky for us, we made an excellent team. Mr. Singh was a quiet man and a traditional Sikh. He is a professional. He was never late and always available for us when we needed. He was shy so didn’t say much, but as he came to realize the easy going people my Mom and I are, he loosened up and became very honest with us.

Raj on the other hand, had the gift of the gab. He loved to share his wisdom and stories from his life and experiences. He enjoys his life’s work and looks at being a tour guide as his responsibility to show off his country and provide his guests with the best experience possible. We told Raj from the start we were excited for the sites, but we also wanted a real India experience and this thrilled him. He treated us as travelers and not as tourists and made special added arrangements to give us the India trip we wanted. More on this later.

Culture

Sightseeing is always special and an important part of travel. However, as I’ve become a more experienced traveler my trips have become less defined by these sights as it has about meeting the people and experiencing the life and culture. Not only is this the best way to expand your worldly knowledge, but I truly believe it is one of the best ways to get to know yourself and expel your own ignorance. Most of what I learned on this trip didn’t come from palaces or safaris but rather walking through local bazaars, attending religious rituals or just witnessing the local life that surrounded us as we passed through town to town.

Making our way through India was very humbling. I don’t need to explain how little many of the people own and the cleanliness of their conditions. But this is the life they know and they seem just as happy with it as I am with my own. Who are we to say this is a worse quality of life? The people of these small villages have a strong work ethic, sense of community, family pride and undying faith. Are these not life’s core values? One may not have this same outlook in the large cities as your experiences can certainly be clouded by the tip chasers and pushy salesmen. Often when we’d stop in one of these small towns or villages, the locals would crowd around us out of curiosity. We’d be the talk of the town and the young people would request a photo with us.  

Of course, a trip to India would not be complete without its culture shocks. Sharing the roads with cows, donkeys, camels and elephants, straight men holding hands, curry for breakfast, recreational mathematics (including upwards of 15 channels on television dedicated to it), and the importance of cricket (I still don’t understand how this overcomplicated, slower and longer version of baseball works) are some of the traditions that would take me some time to adapt to. One of the most shocking sights to a Westerner or European is the number of swastikas painted or carved into important religious structures. This one requires explaining as this symbol does not mean the same thing as we are accustomed to. The swastika is a religious mark the Nazis adopted from Indian culture, alternating the direction in which it points.

Taj Mahal

Unlike the rest of the trip, I had an expectation for the Taj Mahal. It’s impossible not to. It was at the centre of our itinerary requirements and has been declared one of the manmade wonders of the world. So, in fact, expectations were pretty high. But I’m happy to report it did not disappoint.

Mahal which means palace, was built by the king, Shah Jahar, to monument his love for his wife, Mumzel Mahal. This work of perfect symmetry took 26 years to build and was originally supposed to have an identical twin in black marble. Meanwhile, I complain about spending $100 on an overpriced meal for two in Toronto. But if I had the means of a king, maybe I’d build a monument for Margot Robbie in hopes that she’d be my queen. But I digress.

Much like Margot, it’s impossible to take a bad photo of the Taj. We arrived at sunrise as the golden rays reflected off the dome and towers - A photographer’s fantasy. Additionally, Raj had called upon a friend, a young boy named Raja who knew all the best spots to get photos around the premises. I could have stayed there all day snapping Nat Geo worthy (please see contact page to all Nat Geo editors reading this) and potential profile pics with this mega babe, but I guess an extra hour would have to do. Within hours the photo I posted with the Taj became one of my most liked photos on my personal Instagram.

Inside the Taj is basically a large marble room with the tomb of Mumzel Mahal. Although beautiful, it was maybe the only underwhelming part of the Taj. What did I expect? An exotic bazaar, curry buffet, and a Bollywood production of Rocky Horror starring India’s best and most beautiful maybe?

The Taj is located in the city of Agra. A fascinating but poor place with rundown buildings, street vendors and roaming cows. How can a city which brings in so much tourism be so poor you ask? Most of the money earned by the Taj goes back into restoration of the masterpiece. As well as the landmarks, I enjoy experiencing and photographing local culture. I found Agra fascinating but after consulting with Raj, it wasn’t a safe place for me to explore on my own. So instead I found myself taking video clips with my iPhone from the vehicle window.

Driving

If you think driving downtown is stressful. Try driving anywherein India. Stop signs, traffic lights and speed limits only exist in major cities like New Delhi. “Rules are suggestions in India,” Raj explained to us and then joked, “This is a sign that we live in a democracy.” Seatbelts are optional. Signaling is optional. Braking is optional. Driving on the correct side of the road... optional. However, using your horn continuously is mandatory.

It’s not uncommon in India to see vehicles getting bumped, families of five with infants riding a single motorbike without helmets, a bus so crowded some passengers are riding on the roof, and cows casually strolling across the highway. On our second day, we saw a van making a right-hand turn, crash into two women on a motorbike, knocking them over. Something I have never seen in my life before. Luckily no one was hurt. The van did stop to check if they were alive. The two women stood up, dusted themselves off and were on their way again. No exchange of insurance necessary.

Horns aren’t so much used as a way to let someone know how pissed off you are but rather as a tool to let the person in front of you know they’re approaching or passing quickly. For you see it is quite possible the road is being held up by a camel tow, tractor with an overweight load of chaff, or a herd of goats.

Tipping

Ugh.

Call me a cheap bastard. But I dislike the custom of tipping. I’m used to tipping service people - waiters, drivers, barbers, etc. But in India you tip everyonefor everything, and they expect it. On our daily adventures and discoveries, we found the people of India to be very friendly and considerate. But when it comes to service it can become difficult to distinguish genuine kindness from wallet plunging. Some days I felt like a sultan in a strip club, leaving a trail of dollar bills behind me.

After an exchange of pleasantries with someone, I’d often find them awkwardly lingering until I realized they were waiting for a payout. As we’d come out of our hotel room, a cleaner would be standing in front of you already or appear out of nowhere like something out of a horror movie and repeatedly ask if everything is satisfactory with the room. To the point where I felt like I was paying to get rid of them.

Activities that we’d consider common courtesy (like holding the door open for someone) we’d be expected to tip for. I used the gym at one of the hotels and asked the receptionist if someone could turn on the music. A man came ten minutes later while I was on the treadmill and did so. He then stood behind the treadmill and asked more than once if the music was to my liking. Unfortunately for him, this effort would not be a profitable one. For one, I very much don’t like being interrupted in the middle of a workout. And secondly, who carries cash in their sweaty workout gear?

See, my issue isn’t to do with the money (mostly). The tented camp we stayed at in Ranthambore adjusted this tradition in the right way, in my opinion. Instead of tipping the service people individually, you left something in a tip box upon checkout which was equally distributed upon the service people. This removed the sense of false friendliness.

Maybe I should just move to Australia or Japan.

Safari

Going on safari in Kenya and Tanzania was one of the best experiences of my Mom and I’s lives. So, we decided we wanted to slightly detour to include a few game drives in Ranthambore in an attempt to spot some wild tigers. The state of Rajasthan is one of few territories remaining that is home to the tiger. We were well warned by booking agents, guides, and naturalists that due to the dwindling number of wild tigers (only 64 remaining in Ranthambore) there is no guarantee you will see one. Tigers are also solitary animals that don’t travel in packs, making them even more difficult to track and spot. But I won’t lie, our hopes were quite high to see one. Twenty minutes into our first game drive, “Hey, there’s three tigers!” A mama and two young.

Our second and third game drive weren’t quite as lucky. Ranthambore National Park is split into ten zones, but because we booked late we only had access to zones 6-10. Our afternoon drive was in zone 10 and was pretty much baron and completely dried up. I kept picturing a collection of wildlife having a disco in a lush jungle paradise in zone 1. Our naturalist received a call saying one of the male tigers was hanging out back at the entrance to the zone, with our permission the 4x4 driver hit the gas and drove like an Indian version of Schumacher, who drifted corners and cliffs like human Mario Kart. We rattled around the vehicle, jumping close to a foot off our seat at times. Imagine riding the ricketiest coaster at Canada’s Wonderland (definitely The Wild Beast) without a seatbelt... for 30 minutes! Of course, by the time we reached the entrance, buddy had peaced. But it was one helluva ride to remember and we had some enjoyable back pain as a souvenir. Poor Mom!

Highlights

Other than Adam’s quam with tipping, it sounds like our trip was all sunshine and rainbows (well it was a lotof sunshine, complete with 41-degree heat). But no trip is complete without a few bumps. A group of young over-privileged women who felt entitled to party in the hotel hallway at the expense of everyone else on the same floor cost us a night’s sleep in Jaipur. I also had a 24-hour battle with food poisoning, complete with six accounts of projectile vomiting. But no amount of curry spewing from my nose (spicy!) was going to hinder my experience!

As mentioned above, Raj went that extra mile to create great memories for us to take home. Two of these trip extras became highlights of our travels. On our second day in Delhi he took us to the biggest Sikh temple in the city at the time of ceremony. Not only was the white & gold temple breathtaking but it allowed us to spend some time with a group of people we knew very little about. To honor tradition, we entered without shoes and our heads covered with a bandana. We spent a few moments meditating in the temple over song before Raj took us to the “kitchen.” The Sikh people of this particular temple prepare food and feed 60,000 locals every day voluntarily. I used the word kitchen in quotes, because someone from Canadian Health and Safety would have an aneurism after one look at this room. Everything was prepared in giant vats and no one wore gloves or even socks. Mom and I helped make Chapatti, and weren’t even asked to wash out hands. But alas, the Indian iron stomach can withstand just about anything. We were so grateful for this experience as it broke so many barriers of ignorance and replaced them with a foundation of respect and appreciation. Fun India fact, all Sikhs change their name to Singh. So what happens at a Sikh gathering when there is a phone call asking for Mr. Singh?

After being so intrigued by many of the villages we drove through on our commutes, I said to Raj that I would like to stop in a local village. He was pleased I asked as he had a friend who ran a village between our drive from Jodhpur to Udaipur. Upon arrival, we were greeted with great pleasure by Raj’s friend and shown around. We got to meet the elders of the village, who offered us tea (and opium). But the most rewarding part, maybe of the entire trip, was visiting the local school. We went into two tiny classrooms to meet the children, about age 6-10. They were so ecstatic to see us. Their little faces glowing with excitement as they bounced around on their chair or floor and each one of them wanted to shake our hands. More than any heart could handle without melting on the spot. Even as we had to leave, the boys were poking their heads out the window and door to wave at us.

I can’t thank Raj & Mr. Singh enough for their enthusiasm, patience and hospitality. To say I enjoyed my time in India would be a vast understatement. Most important to me was that Mom got the experience she was hoping for. I was happy to come along for the ride (and family time). That mission was a success and I think Mom came back more satisfied than she even expected. I hadn’t set expectation for myself and was therefore overwhelmingly surprised with the experience and the richness of the culture. So much so that some of the (many) other parts of India that we weren’t able to reach on this trip have now made “the list.”

Note: More photos from my professional camera to be shared on the blog as I get around to editing them. All photos above are from my iPhone 8 Plus.

[wallpaperpainter]

8 Common Mistakes Everyone Makes In Ubuntu Remote Desktop From Windows | ubuntu remote desktop from windows

Linux Mint afresh appear its latest abiding abutment (LTS) adaptation of its accepted desktop Linux desktop, Linux Mint 20, “Ulyana.” This edition, based on Canonical’s Ubuntu 20.04, is, already more, an outstanding Linux desktop distribution. 

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As before, you can use three altered desktop looks with Mint 20. These are my own admired Cinnamon, which was aggressive by GNOME 2.x; MATE, a angle of the GNOME 2; and the ultra-lightweight Xfce. Best desktop users will be blessed with Cinnamon or MATE. I use Xfce on low-powered systems or aback active Linux on Chromebooks or Windows 10 PCs with Windows SubSystem for Linux (WSL) 2.

And, aback I say low-powered, I beggarly Low-Powered. Alike PCs from the 2000s can run Mint. The abounding adaptation of Linux Mint requires a bald 2GBs of RAM. If you’re a crammer for punishment, you can alike run it with as little as 1GB. 

One affair you can’t do anymore is run it on 32-bit processors. While there are a scattering of 32-bit bales retained for Steam amateur and Wine, which provides Windows appliance interoperability for Linux, Mint 20 has alone boilerplate 32-bit support. 

You’ll additionally charge at atomic 15GBs of deejay space, but I acclaim 20GBs. Finally, you’ll charge a cartoon agenda and adviser that supports a 1024×768 resolution. In short, you can appealing abundant run Mint on any PC you acquisition in a buzz clutter store.

Under the hood, Mint 20 runs on top of the 5.4 Linux kernel. Its best notable new appearance are abutment for AMD Navi 12 and 14 GPUs, AMD Arcturus cartoon cards, AMD Dali APU, AMD 2020 APU platforms, and Intel Tiger Lake CPUs.

One affair you can’t do calmly yet is advancement from Mint 19.3 to 20. Clement “Clem” Lefebvre, Mint’s advance developer, explained, you can’t use the 19.3’s amend administrator because “the action will be absolutely altered aback this is a new above adaptation and a new amalgamation base.” By mid-July, Mint will absolution an accessible advancement path. For now, you charge install Mint 20 from scratch. 

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For my tests, rather than use old hardware, I acclimated a 2019 Dell XPS 13. This model, which came with Ubuntu 18.04, was powered by an Intel Core i7-10710U processor. It additionally came with a 512GB SSD and 16GBs of RAM. This is awfully added able accouterments than you charge for Mint. 

First, I installed Linux Mint 19.3 on it so I could get an abstraction of how able-bodied Mint 20 compares to its actual ancestor. Then, I installed Linux Mint 20 on it with the Cinnamon 4.6 desktop. I did this by downloading the Mint 20’s 2GB ISO angel and again afire it to a USB stick. That done, I set the XPS 13’s firmware to cossack from the USB stick and installed 20, displace it to cossack from the SSD and I was on my way. The absolute process, from alpha to end took about half-an-hour.

Once up, alike admitting Linux Mint 20’s brand-spanking new, I begin I had 39 updates to make. This included a atom update, which meant I had to reboot the system.

That done, the arrangement ran flawlessly. In particular, I was afflicted by how Nemo, Mint’s book manager, was abundant faster. It does this prioritizing agreeable and aeronautics over announcement thumbnails. Sure, as a result, you see all-encompassing icons afore the thumbnails, but the advance addition is remarkable. I accumulate assignment files not on my bounded machines, but on my Samba-powered Network-Attached Accumulator (NAS) accessories and bounded and alien Nextcloud servers. Aback I was extenuative screenshots and added files from the Mint 20-powered XPS 13 to my alien drives, it adored me seconds. This, in a word, is “impressive.”

If, clashing me, you don’t run your own book and billow servers, Mint now comes with its own easy-to-use bounded breadth arrangement file-sharing program: Warpinator. With it, you can calmly annoyance and bead files from one Mint 20 apparatus to another. It’s easy, fast, but, for now, it’s alone accessible on Linux Mint 20 systems. Aback it’s both advantageous and open-source I apprehend to see it adopted by added Linux distros soon. 

Do you use NVIDIA Optimus cartoon on your system? If you do, Mint’s NVIDIA Prime applet displays your GPU renderer. It additionally supports NVIDIA “On-Demand” profile. With that, you can cede your accustomed programs appliance your onboard Intel graphics, while allotment a GPU power-hungry appliance to use your NVIDIA agenda and cast amid them as needed. 

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Cinnamon 4.6 additionally comes with apportioned scaling. Until now your ascent was either 100% (normal mode) or 200% (HiDPI mode) and it was the above for all your monitors. Now, anniversary adviser can accept a altered ascent and it can be set to ethics amid 100% and 200%.

As Mint credibility out, “in accustomed mode, the resolution you set is the resolution you see. In HiDPI, at 200% scaling, the awning is assuming alert the pixel body so aggregate looks sharper, but the resolution you see on the awning is alone bisected the resolution of your monitor. Many HiDPI displays accept a resolution which is absolutely absolutely baby already HiDPI is activated.”

I’ve apparent this myself with the Dell XPS 13. Its 4K abounding resolution renders argument too baby for my old eyes to use comfortably. With the new Cinnamon, it was accessible to set up my affectation so I got both fonts big abundant to be accessible to see, while still befitting HiDPI’s sharpness. 

For applications, Mint has bigger abutment for Electron applications. These are cross-platform, open-source desktop apps appliance JavaScript, HTML, and CSS. These “desktop” apps, such as Slack on Linux, run on top of the Chromium web browser. Mint 20 now does a bigger job of amalgam Electron applications into the arrangement tray and desktop.

At the above time, though, Mint no best supports Ubuntu’s Snap software packaging system. This agency the above Chromium is not present in the absence repositories. You can still install Chromium appliance another ways, but it’s not easy. It’s like activity aback a decade aback installing Linux apps appropriate able knowledge. 

The Ubuntu Snap Abundance is additionally disabled. Without it, you can’t install Snap applications. You can reinstall it — I acclaim you do — with the afterward commands:

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sudo rm /etc/apt/preferences.d/nosnap.prefapt updateapt install snapd

For added details, see Mint’s Snap documentation. You can apprehend added on Mint’s arguments adjoin Snap, and Ubuntu’s attack to accomplish accord with Mint and adjudge for yourself if you appetite to use Snap on Mint. 

Of course, the accepted alternative of Linux desktop programs appear accessible to run. These accommodate Firefox 77 for web browsing; LibreOffice 6.4.2 for your appointment needs; and Thunderbird 68.7 for email. 

Overall, Mint charcoal a amusement to use. I absolutely ambition Mint included Snap. Best desktop affairs developers accede that it, and its battling Flatpak, are the approaching for Linux desktop apps. 

Looking ahead, Linux Mint 20 will accept aegis updates until 2025. Until 2022, approaching versions of Linux Mint will use the above amalgamation base. This agency it will be atomic to advancement to the abutting few versions. 

If you’re new to Mint and appetite to accord it a try, analysis out my How to install Linux Mint on your Windows PC article. It’s accessible to do whether you appetite to clean out Windows, run it with Windows, or aloof accord it a balloon run appliance a USB stick with assiduous storage. 

Ubuntu Remote Desktop – 8.8 Bionic Beaver Linux – LinuxConfig | ubuntu remote desktop from windows

Despite the Snap nuisance, Mint is both powerful, full-featured, and accessible to use — alike if you’ve never larboard Windows before. 

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[markdow]

Going All Macro, All the Time

I’m trying something new.

I’ve been looking for months for a better way to share my core competency: global macro investing and trading. My public twitter account and blog no longer reward my effort the way they did when I started tweeting, disincentivizing thoughtful output. And I’ve got tons to say about patterns, narratives, correlations, investor reaction functions, position sizing tricks, portfolio construction, managing mental capital, fundamentals, etc. I live for this game.

So, I was pretty happy when I stumbled onto Premo, the brainchild of the folks at the Bespoke Investment Group. Through Premo’s new platform, I have set up a private, subscription-based Twitter account, @BehavioralMacro, and expect to add to it a locked blog in the near future. It will be all global macro, all the time. And for those of you who’ve followed me on my public Twitter feed, @mark_dow, you know what I mean when I say all the time. There will be no dog pics, no cat pics, no politics, and no puns, either. The focus will be exclusively on reading market trends, patterns and sharing my macro trading/investing processes.

Becoming a follower is easy. Once you subscribe at my @BehavorialMacro profile page on Premo, it’s done. You’re immediately added as a new follower. You can cancel the subscription at any time on Premo as well. Couldn’t be easier. I’ve already been posting to the new feed for over a week, so you should be able to get a sense of what I want to accomplish right away. Most of it will be about process. Some of it will be actionable, but the focus will not be on specific trade recommendations or a blow-by-blow of what I am doing with my portfolios. It will be about sharing my tricks, techniques and frameworks for reading markets and managing global macro risk.

DMs will be open, and I’m going to use the feed to engage as much as possible.

The subscription will be set at $30 a month—at least at the outset. Targeting institutional investors would allow me to charge considerably more, but it would then not be accessible to motivated individuals who want to piggyback on my experience to get up the learning curve faster. If I were to price it too low, I would be basically giving it away to a market segment that could and should pay more. From preliminary discussions, I suspect the price is more likely to be adjusted up rather than down, and, at some point, I may want to cap the number of followers, but it’s really too early to say for sure. I want to be responsive to how things unfold. I hope you bear with me through the trial and error. 

I’m excited about this new experiment. It should allow me to better share my skill set. The platform looks cool. I hope you’ll give it a try. To join, you can subscribe below:

 https://premosocial.com/BehavioralMacro

[hsrsports]

Click on link to subscribe my channel https://ift.tt/34vXvMA Facebook - https://ift.tt/2Vjiyz6 Twitter - https://twitter.com/HsrSports Pinterest - https://ift.tt/2ywdZIH Tumblr - https://ift.tt/2z5qwmL Blog - hsrsports.blogspot.com #Sports #SportsNews #LiveScore Jadeveon Clowney dismisses injury fears, hopeful of Seattle return News Modified 06 May 2020, 12:30 IST Jadeveon ClowneyJadeveon Clowney told prospective suitors not to be put off by his injury history as the free agent waits to sign with an NFL team for 2020. The 27-year-old defensive end, a three-time Pro Bowler, is one of the most high-profile free agents that remains unsigned after last month's NFL Draft. However, given he has played all 16 games in a campaign just once in his six seasons in the league and is thought to want around $17million a season, teams could be put off signing Clowney until they make medical checks. That is difficult currently due to the lockdowns imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, yet Clowney has assured franchises he will be good to go once the offseason camps begin. "I don't know if people think I'm hurting because of what I went through because of the core [injury] or because [of injuries] in previous years," he told Fox 26. "But I just want to let people know I'm ready, and I'm gonna be ready to go whenever the time comes. Me: So you telling me you’re not chasing me anymore? @ClowneJD : “Nah bro. .. all other QBs”Me: okay we’re cool we’re cool. .Welcome to the squad bro! pic. twitter. com/jiU5lXt2Dw— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) August 31, 2019"I've got a few [offers], but the process for me is really just weighing my options and taking my time. "I ain't in no rush right now. I know with what's going on right now in the world, with the coronavirus and everything, it's a slow process until teams really can see me and see what I got and give me physicals and everything. Advertisement "So I ain't in no rush. I'm just waiting on the right opportunity and the right timing for me. "Clowney, the first overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, was traded to the Seattle Seahawks last year and the NFC West franchise are thought to be keen on a reunion. The feeling is mutual, with Clowney having fond memories of his year in Seattle. "I love Seattle," he said. "I love everybody on the coaching staff. I wouldn't trade those guys in. I hope we can work something out. "Clowney has also been linked with the Cleveland Browns. He has had 32 sacks in his six seasons in the NFL, including three last year with the Seahawks.

[hotissuelist-blog]

[딴지일보] 엠비 포토라인 서는데 주진우기자는 왜 예능을 - 2018-03-12 04:33:53

[SLRCLUB] 스위치 젤다 패키지 어디서 사는게 가장 저렴한가 - 2018-03-12 04:29:22

[루리웹(기기)] 에비츄 치즈버거를 먹었츄! - 2018-03-12 04:29:15

[딴지일보] 김일성3대 세습이 겁난다��?직계 방계로 촘촘히 - 2018-03-12 04:28:53

[하이퍼 프라이스] [옥션] 61 % 할인! [지오다노]지오다노 브랜드위크 팬츠 득템가~ + 20%할인쿠폰 - 2018-03-11 19:25:08

[해외 IT 이야기] 8 비트 초밥이 도착했고 #foodporn 사진이 다시는 동일하지 않을 수 있습니다. - 2018-03-11 19:19:04

[하이퍼 프라이스] [옥션] 25 % 할인! 마운틴벨리 간절기 디자인팬츠 2종세트 등산/낚시/남성 - 2018-03-11 19:10:11

[하이퍼 프라이스] [옥션] 15 % 할인! [POLHAM]유니 백팩 3종 택1(PHW5AB3002 PHX5AB3001 3002) - 2018-03-11 18:55:11

[하이퍼 프라이스] [옥션] 32 % 할인! 한스킨 브랜드위크up to~81%/비비+쿠션+기초 베스트 - 2018-03-11 18:40:11

[RIS PLAY BLOG] Fireworks by overpoweredgamer - 2018-03-11 17:07:29

[RIS PLAY BLOG] あなたの絵がキャラクターになるかも？ひにゃのイラストコンテスト！ remix by 317karin - 2018-03-11 17:07:29

[RIS PLAY BLOG] Yo by TheJESSINATOR - 2018-03-11 17:07:28

[RIS PLAY BLOG] Yo by TheJESSINATOR - 2018-03-11 17:07:28

[RIS PLAY BLOG] WazzoTV is really hard core… by mightybjorn - 2018-03-11 17:07:26

[RIS PLAY BLOG] For yanshir by iITrapinchIi - 2018-03-11 17:07:25

[RIS PLAY BLOG] my new profile pic :D by -lunarwolf- - 2018-03-11 17:07:24

[chanceos]

Finally! The Design Update is here! I am really proud of what I did with the game. ChanceOS is much more beautiful than before. I liked it so much, and I hope you too. Check it out!

Finalmente! A Atualização de Design chegou! Eu estou muito orgulhoso do que eu fiz no jogo. ChanceOS está muito mais bonito que antes. Eu gostei bastante e espero que vocês também. Confira!

Menu

The menu style still the same. But now is blue. And how important is that? Believe me, it’s a lot better than orange, as it was. O estilo do menu continua o mesmo. Mas agora é azul. E qual a importância disso? Acredite em mim, é bem melhor que laranja, como era.

Browser

The Browser app didn’t receive updates, besides the adaptation of colors from orange to blue. That’s because the next update will focus only on it.

O aplicativo Browser não recebeu atualizações, além da adaptação de cores de laranja para azul. Isso se deve ao fato de que a próxima atualização será focada apenas nele.

Apps

Wow! Can you believe it? Two new apps in the design update! It doesn’t make sense. WHO CARES? Check them out!

Uau! Dá pra acreditar? Dois novos aplicativos na atualização de design! Isso não faz sentido. QUEM SE IMPORTA? Dá uma olhada!

Customize

Yeah, THAT makes sense. An application to customize your ChanceOS. Currently it only has options to change the background. Oh, take a look at this new one.

Opa, ISSO faz sentido. Um aplicativo pra personalizar o seu ChanceOS. Atualmente ele só tem opções para trocar o plano de fundo. Ah, dá uma olhada nesse novo aqui.

Notes

A lot of people shouted in my face to add something like a notepad to write down what you did and learned in the game. So here it is.

Muita gente gritou na minha cara pra adicionar algo como uma bloco de notas pra anotar o que você fez e aprendeu no jogo. Então aqui está.

Findr

What about the Findr app? The update is small but necessary. After posting on your blog, you get a message on Findr. Now, before you receive it, if you open the app, a text will appear saying there is nobody on your list. As if you had already looked at the profile of all the people in your area.

E o aplicativo do Findr? O update foi pequeno, mas necessário. Depois de postar no blog, você recebe uma mensagem no Findr. Agora, antes de recebê-la, quando você abre o app, um texto aparece dizendo que não há mais ninguém na sua lista. Como se você já tivesse dado uma olhada no perfil de todo mundo na sua região.

Pics Lightbox

Do you know when you click, for example, on an image in your timeline and it opens? This is exactly what happens when you click the thumbnail of a pic in Findr.

Sabe quando você clica, por exemplo, numa imagem na sua timeline e ela se abre? É exatamente o que acontece quando você clica na miniatura de uma foto no Findr.

Thanks a lot!

I want to thank everyone who’s in the Facebook group supporting, sharing ideas and creating stories to the game. I’m very grateful to you.

Eu quero agradecer à todos que estão no grupo do Facebook apoiando, dando ideias e criando histórias ao jogo. Sou muito grato à vocês.