#No I did not get emotional while drawing this whatever do you mean /s

[floralstorms]

they’re dads..

@sludgemetalsnufkin

[valentine-cafe]

Hello! Can I order an almond jelly with an insecure chubby s/o that gets shown just how much he *really* loves them after people were being mean to them and being told they’re too ugly for him? (*cough* mating press *cough*) Thank you!

. ˚◞♡ 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒙 𝒃𝒕𝒕𝒎 𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒃/𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒃 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ꒰ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒎 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒆𝒓 ꒱◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ 9948e yize / afab/amab reader ꒱  he has always seen you as beautiful, so he just has to remind you how much you mean to him when people insult you. 

𖹭. content warnings◞  explicit content . mating press . rough sex . topics of weight . 0.7k

𖹭. receipts◞  this request was honestly so refreshing we absolutely loved it 

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 

your head spun at the merciless pounding of hips against yours, heavy breaths reduced to frantic, pleasured moans followed behind pants.

“yì-yìzé— yi- nghn!”

a pale hand moves down your calves and down to the plush of your thigh, squeezing it reassuringly, keeping it in a vice grip while your boyfriend continues his rough fucking. his lips attacking your neck and jaw. grunts and groans sending flutters through your sopping cunt/ass.

“fucking — nhg— dumb bitches,” he hisses to himself. enjoying each and every way your stomach rolls jiggle along with the fast and shallow rhythm.

with a whine leaving your throat, you grip at the sheets. nails scraping across the silky fabric.

you hear a scoff pass through the bounds of his lips after his low groan into your neck where he had decided to settle himself. ranting on in a whisper

“thinking they can get away with saying mean shit like that — ain’t nobody else I fucking want, not if it isn’t you, you’re perfect. don’t fucking listen to them” he huffs.

the sudden halt of thrusting into you did not help you in your flustered and disoriented state.

“yìzé” you whimper, hips bucking in a pathetic attempt to keep him going. only to feel him adjust you slightly, while a small, still energised chuckle rumbles through his chest and against yours.

“shhh, patience.” he whispers, grinding against your sore hole, before setting a pace ever so slowly. giving slow rolls with his hips, while he groans and tilts his head upwards. stomach pressed against your lower tummy.

“don’t fucking let them get to your head okay?” the grumble send pangs of emotions through you, arousal, shame, embarrassment, you couldn’t really put to words why but it did.

“i know. . . i try.”

your shaky sigh draws his piercing maroon eyes to meet yours.

“i know you do baobei, you do so well at it too.” the response is genuiene, softer than before. “don’t mean to sound frustrated with you. ‘m frustrated with them.” he hums, as he slowly increases his rolls to thrusts. the feel of your soft and plush skin against his sends him up to zenith.

he adores you, nevermind what shell your soul is in. fat, chubby, whatever average is, skinny — he loves you, he doesn’t care.

to him, you are as perfect as the fresh morning dew outside in the gardens of the zhào estate. covering the grass straws with your gentle, illuminated water droplets.

you are the mist is what holds all of your mysterious and captivating looks.

the wet trees covered in the morning fog, reminds him of the sheen layers of sweat that covers your body, your curves.

he worships all of it. it is so beautiful to him.

and yet, you have no understanding of why he loves it.

all because of insecure people who point fingers at you just because you apparantly look ‘worse’ than them. it is a concept he will never truly understand. to point out someone and call them flawed because of body weight. it makes no sense.

a few choked cries leave you as he moves his hands back up to your calves and press your knees against your shoulders to fuck further into you. throbbing cock hitting all of the good bundles of nerves. continuously poking and prodding in the same places when he sees you’re feeling good.

you blink away the blur in your eyes and take in a deep inhale to try and keep yourself steady. that is until you feel him pumping a few extra shallow thrusts into you. cold cum filling you partially.

“yì-ìz—éé!” you cry out.

“yeah don’t fucking run from it. c’mon you can do it. cuum f’me baby. thaaaaat’s it” he moans against your jaw. nipping at it gently with his sharp teeth.

you feel a bigger load of cold, white cum shoot into you, and so with covulsing thighs that shake in his hands from the sheer pleasure you go through, your poor, quivering cunt/dick squirts with cum. and he keeps going, fucking the orgasm out of you.

𖹭. taglist◞ wanna join the taglist? fill out this form

𖹭. remember◞ you make a writer's day every time you like, reblog and/or comment on their piece. if you enjoyed my work, please considering doing so<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 ꒱ tip jar . masterist ⊹ ۪ ࣪

[winters8child]

It´s been a long, long time

Chapter 6

I spent the next few days hidden in my room, staring at the birthday gifts Steve and Bucky had given me. Steve’s pin had a deep meaning behind it; the things he said about me and his life touched something in my heart, and I wore it every day. We had been friends for four years now, and maybe I was being blind, but I thought that’s all we were. We were children when we first met, and maybe I had failed to notice the shift in his feelings now that we were adults.

I didn’t know how to feel about this, but I was afraid of the day when he might confess his feelings and I would have to break his heart. And then there was Bucky’s gift—the white, nameless plush cat. I would fall asleep with it every night, cuddling it and thinking of him. I felt ashamed, now that I had an inkling of Steve’s feelings for me. He was hoping that one day I might feel something for him, while I was thinking the same thing about his best friend.

For days, I was unsure of what to do. I couldn’t act on my feelings without breaking Steve’s heart, and I couldn’t live with myself if I did. And who was to say that Bucky even felt the same way about me? I couldn’t bear the thought of destroying our friendship over my stupid emotions, so I made a decision. I would bottle up my feelings and wait for them to die down. I was certain it was just teenage hormones; it would go away eventually—or so I thought.

Emboldened by my decision, I got ready to go to our usual spot in Prospect Park. I put on my second favorite dress, telling myself that I didn’t need to look my best for just meeting friends. In hindsight, it seems like a foolish thought. As I went downstairs, I ran into my father. He looked me up and down. “Going anywhere?” he asked.

“I just want to read my book in Prospect Park,” I lied for some reason.

He was not convinced. “Where’s your book?”

“Oops, let me get it quick,” I said, turning around.

He stopped me. “Wait, now that you’re here, we’re having company for dinner tonight, so don’t be late.”

“Who is it?” I asked, surprised because we never had company over.

“Just a friend from work, with their son. He’s your age. I’m sure you’ll get along.”

I didn’t like that one bit. “Are you trying to set me up?” I didn’t want to hear the answer, and he didn’t give me one. He mumbled, “I gotta get back to work. See you tonight.”

All the way to the park, I kept thinking about our dinner guest. I didn’t want to meet some random guy my father deemed suitable. He didn’t even know me, so how could he assume to know who would be a good match for me?

The boys were already there when I arrived. Steve was drawing the swans swimming on the lake, and Bucky was absorbed in a book. Both of them looked up when I approached, and my face must have betrayed my emotions because they asked me simultaneously what was wrong.

I told them about the news my father had dropped on me. After my explanation, their faces mirrored my disappointment.

Steve broke the silence. “Maybe he’s nice. You won’t know until you meet him.” He didn’t look convinced, though. Seeing their faces and the obvious disappointment reminded me of the choice I had made not to risk our friendship.

“You’re right, Steve. Maybe he is. I shouldn’t judge,” I said, lying to avoid the truth. They didn’t expect that answer.

Bucky spoke first, though his frustration was evident. “Bold of your father to assume what you like in a guy, but whatever.” He tried to hide his irritation but failed. I saw him bending the book in his hand and tapping his foot anxiously.

“I don’t like this, doll. You’re not some cattle to be sold. You can make your own choices.” His voice held a note of desperation that made me feel uneasy. I put my hand on his to stop him from bending the book, knowing he would regret it later. “It’s just dinner. I’m not getting married, Buck,” I said, trying to calm him.

Something shifted in his demeanor as he looked at my hand on his. He was searching for the right words and finally said, “Yeah, I’m just being weird. I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy, is all. Listen, I’ve got to go. There’s something I have to do. See you tomorrow.”

He patted Steve on the shoulder, got up, and left. I was afraid that now that Steve and I were alone, he might take the opportunity to confess his feelings. I wasn’t sure how I would react.

Maybe I should have paid more attention to the dark clouds that were gathering above us. Suddenly, thunder rumbled, and lightning streaked across the sky. We started to get up just as the rain began pouring down in buckets. Everyone in the park hurried home, but it was so sudden and heavy that you got drenched either way. Steve gathered up his drawing supplies, but the rain had already destroyed his work. He looked at me, took my hand, and said, “Let’s get you home.”

We ran as fast as we could, and just before we reached my apartment, I almost slipped in the rain and would have fallen if Steve hadn’t been holding my hand. It must have looked so ridiculous that I started laughing, and he couldn’t help but join in. Seeing him laugh made me happy; I wished we could stay like this forever—friends who loved each other deeply. But then he said something that shattered that hope. He looked me in the eyes, his voice trembling as he pleaded, “Don’t marry him,” kissed my cheek, and walked away.

Next Chapter

[gemharvest]

Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

Heaven And Hell

Masterlist

"You want Anna? Why?" Sam asked the angels. "Out of the way." Uriel said as he starts to stomp towards Anna but Dean and I step in front of her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her." Dean said. "Don't worry. I'll kill her gently." Uriel said, with no emotion.

"You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?" I said to them, angrily. "As a matter of fact, we are. And?" Castiel asked. "And? Anna's an innocent girl." Sam exclaims. "She is far from innocent." Castiel said and I furrow my brow. "What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked him. "It means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing. Now give us the girl." Uriel orders. "Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate." Dean snapped.

"Who's gonna stop us? You three? Or this demon whore?" Uriel asked then he throws Ruby against a wall. Dean then attacks him.

"Cas, stop...please." I plead then he touches my forehead and my vision goes to black.

*3rd Person POV*

Castiel then touches Sam's forehead and he falls to the ground next to (y/n) while Uriel punches Dean. "I've been waiting for this." Uriel growls but then, suddenly, a bright light engulfs Castiel and Uriel and they disappear.

"What the..." Dean mutters, confused, then he goes to help Ruby to her feet. "Come on." Dean said and Ruby kneels by Sam and Dean kneels next to (y/n), both of them start to stir. "You okay?" Dean asked as (y/n) wakes up. "Yeah..." (y/n) groans then she noticed the angels weren't there. 

"What happened?" She asked. "I don't know." Dean said and he heads into a back room and finds Anna with her hands and arms covered in her own blood. "Anna. Anna!" he shouts as he runs over to her and noticed that she had used her blood to draw sigils on a mirror.

"Are they -- are they gone?" she asked him. "Did you kill them?" Dean asked her. "No. I sent them away...far away." she replied. "You want to tell me how?" Dean asked her. "That just popped in my head. I don't know how I did it. I just did it." She replied, shrugging.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"So, what do you guys think?" Dean asked us after we helped Anna patch up. "I think Anna's getting more interesting by the second." Sam said, intrigued. "Yeah, I agree." Dean said as I place thumb under my chin and my pointer finger over my lips, the thinking position as we call it.

"What did they mean by she's not innocent?" I asked them. "It seems like they want her bad, and not just 'cause of the angel radio thing. I mean, that blood spell -- Some serious crap, guys." Sam said. "Something's going on with her. See what you two can find out." Dean said and I turn to him.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked him. "Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but, sooner or later, they're gonna be back. We got to get ourselves safe now." he replied. 

*3rd Person POV*

Anna was sitting in a chair in Bobby's panic room and Dean looks around it. "Iron walls drenched in salt. Demons can't even touch the joint." he said as Ruby waits outside the open door. "Which I find racist, by the way." she said. "Write your congressman." Dean quips then Ruby pulls a familiar small bag out of her pocket.

"Here." she said as she tosses it to him and Dean catches it. "Hex bags?" he asked as he looks at the item. "Extra-crunchy. They'll hide us from angels, demons, all comers." Ruby said. "Thanks, Ruby." Dean said then he turns to Anna. "Don't lose this." he said as he hands the hex bag to her.

"So, Anna, what's playing on angel radio? Anything useful?" he asked and Anna sits there as she tries to listen. "It's quiet. Dead silence." she replied. "Good. That's not troubling at all." Dean said, sarcastically. "We're in trouble, huh? You guys are scared?" Anna asked him. "Nah." Dean said, shaking his head.

"Hey, Dean!" Sam's voice calls out. "Just stay here, okay?" Dean tells Anna then he turns to Ruby. "Keep an eye on her." he said and he walks out of the room and up the stairs.

"How's the car?" he asked Sam and (y/n). "We got her. She's fine." Sam said and (y/n) looks around the room. "Where's Bobby?" she asked. "Uh, The Dominican. He said we break anything, we buy it." Dean said.

"He's working a job?" Sam asked, surprised. "God, I hope so. Otherwise, he's at hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap." Dean said and (y/n) closes her eyes in disgust. "Now that's seared in my brain." she grumbles.

"All right, what did you guys find on Anna?" Dean asked them. "Uh, not much. Her parents were, uh, Rich and Amy Milton -- a church deacon and a housewife." Sam explains. "Riveting." Dean remarks, sarcastically. "But there is something here in the report. Turns out this latest psych episode wasn't her first." (y/n) said and Dean raises an eyebrow.

"No?" he asked. "When she was 2 1/2, she'd get hysterical any time her dad got close. She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy." (y/n) continues. "Who was? The plumber, hmm? A little snaking the pipes?" Dean asked, a grin on his face, which made Sam and (y/n) sigh with exasperation. "Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again." Sam said.

"Look, Anna didn't say. She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Very mad -- like wanted-to-kill-her mad." (y/n) said, changing the subject. "Kind of heavy for a 2-year-old." Dean said. "Well, she saw a kid's shrink, got better, and grew up normal." Sam added. "Until now. So, what's she hiding?" Dean asked.

"Why don't you just ask me to my face?" Anna's voice asked and they turn to see her and Ruby standing at the doorway. "Nice job watching her." Dean said to Ruby. "I'm watching her." Ruby said as she gestures at Anna.

"No, you're right, Anna. Is there anything you want to tell us?" Sam asked Anna. "About what?" She asked. "The angels said you were guilty of something. Why would they say that?" (y/n) asked her. "You tell me. Tell me why my life has been leveled...Why my parents are dead. I don't know. I swear. I would give anything to know." Anna said, desperately.

"Okay. Then let's find out." Sam said. "How?" Anna asked and the trio share a look.

"We're here!" Dean calls out as he leads Pamela into the panic room. "Pamela, hey!" Sam said. "Sam?" she said. "It's me. It's Sam." Sam said as she reaches out to him. "SAM?" she calls out as she starts to touch him. "Yeah." Sam said, uncomfortable.

"Sam, is that you?" She asked again. "I'm right here." Sam said as she touches his face and Dean and (y/n) try to hold their laugh in. "Oh. Know how I can tell?" Pamela asked then she grabs Sam's ass. "That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing." Pamela said and (y/n) had to bite her knuckles to keep herself from laughing too hard..

"Of course I know it's you, grumpy. Same way I know that's (y/n), a demon, and that poor girl's Anna..." Pamela said as she points at the girls as she lost them off. "...and that you've been eyeing my rack." she accused and Sam is taken aback by this. "Uh...uh...uh..." he stammers and Pamela smiles.

"Don't sweat it, kiddo. I still got more senses than most." She said. "Got it." Sam said and Pamela goes over to Anna. "You always knew how to get the ladies attention, Sam." (Y/n) mutters, teasingly, to him. "Shut up." Sam mutters back and (y/n) stifles a laugh while Dean also tries not to laugh. 

"Hey, Anna. How are you? I'm Pamela." Pamela introduced. "Hi." Anna said as they shake hands. "Dean told me what's been going on. I'm excited to help." said Pamela. "Oh. That's nice of you." Anna said. "Oh, well, not really. Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it." Pamela said. "Why?" Anna asked.

"They stole something from me." Pamela said and she takes off her sunglasses, revealing white eyes. Anna seemed horrified by this. "Demon-y, I know. But they're just plastic. Good for business. Makes me look extra-psychic, don't you think?" Pamela asked then she laughs. "Now...how about you tell me what your deal is? Hmm? Don't you worry." she said as she places her sunglasses back on.

"Nice and relaxed." Pamela said as Anna is laying down on the bed. Sam, Dean, Ruby and (y/n) all stand off to the side. "Now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. When we're at zero, you'll be in a deep state of hypnosis. As I count down, just go deeper and deeper, okay? 5...4...3...2...1. Deep sleep. Deep sleep. Every muscle calm and relaxed." Pamela said as Anna closes her eyes.

"Can you hear me?" Pamela asked her. "I can hear you." Anna said in a trance-like voice. "Now, Anna, tell me...How can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?" Pamela asked her. "I don't know. I just did." Anna replied.

"Your father...What's his name?" Pamela asked. "Rich Milton." Anna said. "All right. But I want you to look further back...When you were very young...Just a couple of years old." Pamela said. "I don't want to." Anna said, shaking. "It'll be okay. Anna, just one look -- that's all we need." Pamela assures her. "No." Anna said, upset.

"What's your dad's name? Your real dad. Why is he angry at you?" Pamela asked her and Anna starts to shake and writhe in the bed. "No. No! No. No!" Anna screams

"Calm down." Pamela said, calmly. "He's gonna kill me!" Anna shouts. "Anna, you're safe." Pamela said and Anna sits up and screams. "No!" which made the lights explode and glass shatter. "Calm down." Pamela said, still in a calm voice while Anna continues to scream.

"He's gonna kill me!" She shouts. "It's all right, Anna." Pamela said. "Anna?" Dean asked as he walks towards Anna. "Dean, don't." Pamela warns but then Anna throws Dean across the room. "Dean!" (Y/n) said, fearfully, and she runs over to him.

"Wake in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." Pamela said and Anna stops screaming and lays back down on the bed. "Anna..." Pamela said as Anna opens her eyes. "Anna? You all right?" Pamela asked her as Anna gets up off of the bed and walks over to her and places a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now." she said to her, appreciatively. "Remember what?" Sam asked her as (y/n) helps Dean up. "Who I am." Anna said as if it was obvious. "I'll bite. Who are you?" Dean asked her. "I'm an angel." she replied and everyone gives her a shocked and horrified look.

"Don't be afraid, I'm not like the others." Anna said. "I don't find that very reassuring." Ruby growls. "Neither do I." Pamela said and Anna looks between them.

"So...Castiel, Uriel -- they're the ones that came for me?" she asked. "You know them?" (y/n) asked her. "We were kind of in the same foxhole." she replied. "So, what, were they like your bosses or something?" asked Dean. "Try the other way around." Anna said and Dean gives a sarcastic look.

"Look at you." He said. "But now they want to kill you?" (y/n) asked Anna. "Orders are orders. I'm sure I have a death sentence on my head." she said. "Why?" asked Pamela. "I disobeyed...which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell." she explained.

"Meaning?" Dean asked. "She fell to earth, became human." Pamela said and they look at her, confused. "Wait a minute. I don't understand. So, angels can just become human?" Sam asked and Anna shrugs. "It kind of hurts. Try cutting your kidney out with a butter knife. That kind of hurt. I ripped out my grace." she said. "Come again?" (y/n) asked, confused.

"My grace. It's...energy. Hacked it out and fell. My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant. Always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was." Anna explained. "So, you just forgot that you were God's little Power Ranger?" Dean asked. "The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah." said Anna, nodding.

"I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are." Ruby said. "Ruby's right. Heaven wants me dead." Anna said. "And Hell just wants her. A flesh-and-blood angel that you can question, torture, that bleeds. Sister, you're the Stanley Cup. And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're gonna find you." Ruby said to her. "I know. And that's why I'm gonna get it back." Anna replied.

"What?" Sam asked her. "My grace." she replied. "You can do that?" (y/n) asked, curiously. "If I can find it." Anna said. "So, what, you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and, shazam, you're Roma Downey?" Dean asked and Anna nods. "Something like that." She said.

"All right. I like this plan." Dean said with sarcasm. "So, where's this grace of yours?" (Y/n) asked Anna. "Lost track. I was falling about 10,000 miles per hour at the time." she said, shrugging. "Wait. You mean falling, like, literally?" asked Sam. "Yes." Anna said. "Like the way a human eye can see? Like a comet, maybe, or a meteor?" Sam asked and Anna gives him a curious look. "Why do you ask?" she asked.

Minutes later, Sam and Ruby went to go do some research while (y/n) took Pamela home and Dean stood guard for Anna. Anna was standing out in the junkyard as Dean started walking back towards her, his cellphone up on his ear.

"Okay, thanks, (y/n). I'll see you when you get here." Dean said then he hangs up. "Pamela get home okay?" Anna asked him. "Yeah. She told (y/n) she was sorry. It's just after last time, she, uh...This is just a little too rich for her blood." Dean and Anna nods. "I don't blame her. You guys should do the same." she said. "Well, we're not that smart." Dean said and Anna scoffs out a chuckle.

They stand there in silence for a few minutes before Dean speaks up. "Can I ask you something? What do they want me for? Why did they save me?" He asked her. "I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it. And it was after I fell." she said. "That's another question. Why would you fall? Why would you want to be one of us?" he asked.  You don't mean that." Anna said.

"I don't? A bunch of -- of miserable bastards...Eating, crapping, confused, afraid." Dean lists off. "I don't know. There's loyalty...forgiveness...love." Anna counters. "Pain." said Dean.

"Chocolate cake." She said, smiling.

"Guilt." He adds.

"Sex." Anna quips as she looks over at Dean, who thinks for a moment then nods. "Yeah, you got me there." he said, smirking a bit. "I mean it. Every emotion, Dean, even the bad ones...It's why I fell. It's why...why I'd give anything not to have to go back. Anything." she said. "Feelings are overrated, if you ask me." Dean said. "Beats being an angel." Anna said.

"How's that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves or God or anything." Dean points out and Anna scoffs. "Perfect...Like a marble statue. Cold...no choice...only obedience." she then she shakes her head.

"Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?" she asked him. "All of you?" he asked and she shakes her head. "Four angels. Four. And I'm not one of them." she replied. "That's it? Well, then how do you even know that there is a God?" Dean asked her. "We have to take it on faith...Which we're killed if we don't have." Anna said and Dean hums at this.

"I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just...watching...silent...invisible...out on the road...sick for home...waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that --" Anna ranted and Dean starts to laugh. "What is so funny? What?" she asked him and he faces her. "Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate." he said and the two share a smile.

What the two of them don't realize is that (y/n) had made it back from dropping Pamela home. She had walked into the junkyard but stopped once she sees Dean and Anna talk. They weren't doing anything, just talking, yet (y/n) felt this hot burning feeling licking her insides like they were on fire.

He seemed to just be casually talking to Anna, way better than he's been talking to her or Sam. Why does he talk to her so freely but won't with me? she thought, angrily. Maybe because she's a literal perfect angel and you're just some human with a bit of demon's blood in you, who also happened to be the reason he went down to Hell. a voice said in her head and the anger, quickly, turned into sadness and guilt.

She always held this thought and guilt ever since Dean came back from Hell but she put it in the back of her mind. She really didn't want to think that way. But the more he kept distance from her, the more the thought came to her and the more she started to feel guilty. But she always put on a brave face to not appear weak.

Now who's keeping secrets? The voice asked her, with harsh sarcasam. 

She sighs to herself, shakes her head and marches on towards Dean and Anna. "Hey, what's going on?" She asked and Dean jumps, slightly, as he and Anna turn to face her. "Hey, you got here quick." Dean said. "Well, I learned from you on how to drive like a bat outta hell." (Y/n) jokes, putting on a fake smile.

"So...what's up with you two?" She asked, curiously, and Dean seemed a bit nervous. "Just talking." He said, plainly. "Oh? What about?" (Y/n) asked. "Being human." Anna replied. "Sounds interesting." (Y/n) said, a bit suspicious, as she eyes Dean, who looked like a kid that got caught digging into the cookie jar.

But at that moment, Sam comes out. "Hey." he calls out and all three of them turn to him. "Did you find something?" Dean asked, relieved to have a change of subject. "I think so." Sam said and they all head inside the house.

"Union, Kentucky. Found some accounts of a local miracle." Sam said as he points at some newspaper. "Yeah?" (y/n) asked. "Yeah. In '85, there was an empty field outside of town. Six months later, there was a full-grown oak. They say it looks a century old at least." Sam said then Dean turns to Anna.

"Anna, what do you think?" he asked her. "The grace. Where it hit, it could have done something like that, easy." she said. "So grace ground zero -- it's not destruction. It's..." Dean said then Anna finished his sentence. "Pure creation."

That night, Dean was driving and Sam was in the passenger seat. Ruby, (y/n) and Anna were sitting together in the backseat and Dean looks in the rear-view mirror and laughs. "What?" Ruby asked, annoyed. "Nothing. It's just an angel and a demon riding in the backseat. It's like the setup to a bad joke or..." Dean started to say but (y/n) shakes her head. "Dean, don't you dare say it!" She warns but he gives a bit of a mischievous grin.

"...or a Penthouse Forum letter." he said and (y/n) groans while Sam gives a disapproving look. "Dude...Reality...Porn." Sam said. "You call this reality?" Dean asked. "All I'm saying is I'm taking away your porn viewing privileges." (Y/n) said and Dean looks up at the rear-view mirror at her.

"You wouldn't do that." He said and (y/n) leans forward in her seat. "Try me." She said with a look that said I dare you.

Later, the group walk into a field where they see a large tree. "It's beautiful." Dean remarks and Anna's eyes widen. "It's where the grace touched down. I can feel it." she said and they walk up to the tree.

"You ready to do this?" Dean asked her. "Not really." she said and she goes up to the tree. "Anna, what are we even looking for?" Sam asked her as Anna puts a hand on the tree trunk. "It doesn't matter. It's not here. Not anymore. Someone took it." she said, dejectedly.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"We still got the hex bags. I say we head back to the panic room." Dean said. "What, forever?" Ruby asked. "I'm just thinking out loud!" Dean shouts. "Oh, you call that thinking?" Ruby said. "Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Stop it." Sam and I shout as we get in between them. "Anna's grace is gone. You understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once." Ruby shouts.

"Look, there is a safe house of mine not far from here, we could head over there now." I suggested to them.

"Um...guys? The angels are talking again." Anna interrupts and we turn to her. "What are they saying?" Sam asked her as she closes her eyes. "It's weird...Like a recording...a loop. It says, Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or..." she said then stops. "Or what?" Dean asked and she opens her eyes and looks over at him. "...or we hurl him back to damnation." She finished and my eyes widen in fear.

"They...they can't do that!" I shouted, angrily, and Sam turns to Anna. "Anna..Do you know of any weapon that works on an angel?" he asked her. "To what? To kill them?" Anna asked and Sam nods. "Nothing we could get to...Not right now." she replied.

"Okay, wait, wait. I say we call Bobby. We get him back from hedonism." Dean said and Sam turns to him as I pace the room. "Dean, what's he gonna tell us that we don't already know?" He asked Dean. "I don't know, but we got to think of something!" Dean shouts and I stop in my tracks as a light bulb goes off in my head. "I think I have an idea." I said and they all turn to me.

"You sure this plan's gonna work?" Dean asked me as we head up the stairs in the safe house. Ruby and Sam were in the dining area, reading some books, and Anna was wandering outside.

"It's the best with what we can do. Given the circumstances." I said as I take a few steps ahead. "But what if it fails?" He asked me and I stop, for some reason this hit a nerve with me, and I turn to him. "Why are you doubting me? If Anna was the one who came up with it, you'd be all over it." I sneered and he furrows his brow at me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked me and I scoff. "Oh, c'mon, Dean...ever since Anna came along and you found out she was an angel, you've been all over her." I accused. "No, I haven't." He said, defensively. "Oh, really? You seemed pretty chummy with each other back at Bobby's." I yelled and he gives me frown. "I'm sorry, Dean, it's just...I find it odd that you won't talk to me, your girlfriend, but yet you'll talk to a random angel who you just met." I said and he gives

"It isn't what you think, (y/n). You know I would never hurt you." He said. "Oh really?" I asked, sarcastically, as I fold my arms across my chest. "Then what is it, Dean? Cause here's what I'm gathering. Ever since you came back, you've slowly been pulling away from me to the point where you won't talk to me unless it's about a job. And now we get involved with the job of a fallen angel and you've been getting close to her the more time you spend with her." I said and he looks at me for a moment then lowers his gaze.

Him being silent was alarming to me. "You're not even gonna deny it?" I asked, my voice shaking with tears. He stays silent then looks up at me. "(Y/n), I..." he stops and I sigh at this. "Whatever Dean." I grumbled then I head upstairs, walk into a bedroom and slam the door shut behind me.

*3rd Person POV*

Dean was studying a book over the Impala, thinking over the argument he and (y/n), when Anna comes up to him. "Hey. Holding up okay?" he asked her and she sighs. "Trying." she said. "Yeah." Dean mutters. "A little scared, I guess." she replied and Dean goes back to reading the book but still had his mind over the argument.

"So, um...Dean...I just wanted to thank you." Anna said, interrupting his thoughts. "For what?" he asked as he turns to her. "Everything. You guys -- you didn't have to help me --" she said and Dean shakes his head. "Hey, let's can the thanks for trying speech, you know? Participation trophies suck ass." he grumbles.

"I don't know. Maybe I don't deserve to be saved." Anna said as she takes a step closer to him. "Don't talk like that." Dean said. "I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I got to pay." she remarked. "Yeah, well, we've all done things we got to pay for." Dean said and Anna looks him over.

"I got to tell you something. You're not gonna like it." she said. "Okay. what?" he asked. "About a week ago, I heard the angels talking...About you...What you did in Hell. Dean, I know. It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself." she tells him and he frowns and turns his head away. "Anna, I don't w-want to, uh...I don't want to...can't talk about that." He stammers. "I know. But when you can, you have people that want to help. You are not alone. That's all I'm trying to say." she said as she takes another step closer.

Then she kisses Dean, who freezes at this. Immediately, this kiss with Anna felt wrong. It was like the world didn't make sense anymore, if felt hollow. Course Anna was very attractive but this didn't feel right. The only girl Dean had kissed that felt right was....

Dean grabs Anna's shoulder and pulls her away from him. "Anna, stop." He said and she furrows her brow. "What?" She asked, confused. "I just...I just can't." He said. "Can't? What do you mean?" Anna asked him. "I can't..do this..to her." Dean said, his voice shaking a bit. "Her?" Anna said. "(Y/n)..." Dean replied and Anna's eyes widen with understanding.

"Oh...oh, I'm so sorry...I didn't realize..." Anna stammers but Dean shakes his head as he removes his hands off of her shoulders. "No, no...it's uh...it's my fault." Dean said and he lets out a humorless laugh. "Seems like I'm always screwing things up and hurting the people I love." He said and Anna gives him a sympathetic look.

"I've been nothing but a terrible boyfriend to her lately and now she's pissed at me and I don't know how to fix it." Dean said, sadly, as he lowers his head. Anna places a hand on his shoulder, which makes him raise it up to look at her. "Go to her, Dean. Go to her and tell her how you feel." She said and Dean stares at her for a moment as a small understanding smile appears on her face then he heads towards the safehouse.

*(y/n)'s POV*

I was sitting on the bed, reading a book as I had the radio on, playing some classic rock music. God, I feel like a damn teenage girl. I thought to myself, angrily. I toss the book down on the bedside table, roughly, then sighed as I place my hands over my face when a new song came on, which starts off with a piano playing. I scoff as I recognize the song playing.

Highway run

Into the midnight sun

Wheels go round and round

You're on my mind

Restless hearts

Sleep alone tonight

Sendin' all my love

Along the wire

Figures this song would play as my boyfriend is probably screwing the angel. I thought until I heard a knock at my door. I turn my head towards the door, confused, when another knock sounds out. I stay quiet. "(Y/n), I know you're in there." Dean's voice said and I scowl. "Go away, Dean." I said, roughly. 

"Will you let me in, please? I just need to talk to you." He said and I sigh as I get up and head to the door and open it, revealing Dean standing there. "What?" I asked him, annoyed. "Can I come in?" He asked and I open the door wider for him and he walks in and I shut the door.

"What do you want, Dean?" I asked him, crossing my arms, while the song continued.

They say that the road ain't no place to start a family

Right down the line, it's been you and me

And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be

Oh, girl, you stand by me

I'm forever yours

Faithfully

"I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I've been treating you. I know it's not right but it's just...I’ve done terrible things that I know will scare you. Change how you think of me. Might even make you want to leave and I can’t handle that. The only thing keeping me together is you. And if you leave I…I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” he said and I felt my anger wash away.

"Dean..." I said, softly, as I uncross my arms. "I love you, (y/n). So damn much. And I thought keeping my distance from you was helping, cause I want you to be happy. But now I realize that it was hurting you and I can't handle that." He said as he shakes, slightly, and I could see tears building up in his eyes. That told me he was being serious.

I walk closer to him and take his hands in mine as I stare into his eyes. "I love you, Dean. No matter what. I just got worried you didn't want me around anymore because...I'm a reminder for why you went to Hell. And I feel guilty about it. I know I'll never know or understand what happened while you were down in the pit but it won't change how I feel about you or how I feel about myself cause I'm always gonna feel bad that you went because of me." I said.

And being apart ain't easy on this love affair

Two strangers learn to fall in love again

I get the joy of rediscovering you

Oh, girl, you stand by me

I'm forever yours

Faithfully

Dean let's out a humorless laugh. "I guess we're both screw-ups, then." He said and I chuckle. "Weren't we always screw-ups?" I asked and we share a laugh then we share a look to each other and I could feel this tension between us. "I'm sorry." He said as he walks up to me. I stare into his eyes and a small smile appears on my lips. "Don't be." I whispered and I lean up and pressed my lips against his.

He kisses me back as I slide my hands up his chest then grab the collar of his jacket. He wraps his left arm around my waist and his right hand was cradling the back of my head, his fingers buried into my hair.

We make-out for a few moments before Dean pulls back a bit. "Hold on." He whispers to me and I feel my heart rate go up as I wrap my arms around his shoulder and my legs around his waist. Then he hoisted me up, grabbing the back of my thighs and pushed me up against the door as he continued to kiss me.

Seconds later, he moves his lips down to my jawline then down to my neck, I close my eyes and let out a small moan. I lower my left hand and reach behind me to get to the doorknob and lock it as Dean goes back to kissing me on the lips.

Next thing I know, we had removed our clothes off of each other and I was laying down on the bed as Dean was on top of me. And then our bodies became one. We gasped and moaned into each other's mouth and then Dean started to move his hips into mine and let my mouth fall open at the feeling.

Eventually, I get on top of him and run my hands over his chest then my hand goes over to his left shoulder, where Castiel’s handprint still resides but not as prominent. I place my right hand over the handprint then moved my head to look at Dean. We stare at each other, Dean’s eyes full of love, until he leans up, places his right hand to the back of my neck and captures my lips in his.

I kiss him back then he wraps his arms around my waist and rolls me on my back, making him on top of me again. Then he picks up his pace, places his lips over mine again and swallows my moans while my left hand grasps at the bedsheets under me.

Sometime later, both of us were laying on the bed, staring up at the roof, calming down from our love session. I was curled up to Dean's chest, tracing shapes on his chest, while he ran his left hand up and down my arms. We lay there in comfortable silence then a memory came into my head.

"Well, maybe it is time to right some wrongs." he said. "Come again?" I asked, confused. "Like you said, I came back from the furnace and I did it without any of my old scars, right?" he said then he starts listing off on his fingers. "You know, bullet wounds, knife cuts..." he said as he holds up his hand, spreading his fingers and wiggling them. "None of the off-Angled fingers from all the breaks. I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom, Which leads me to conclude, Sadly...That my virginity is intact." He said and I snort out a laugh.

"Are you serious?" I asked him, incredulous. "I have been re-Hymenated." Dean said, proudly, before he drinks. "Re-- Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, But no one could do that." I tell him. "Sweetheart, I have been re-Hymenated. And the dude will not abide." He said and I roll my eyes.

I start to chuckle to myself at the memory. "What's so funny?" Dean asked and I looked up at him. "You remember how you said you have been re-Hymenated..." I said and he thinks for a moment then a realization look came over his face and I smile. "Looks like, I took your virginity." I laugh and Dean chuckles at this. 

"Well, couldn't have lost it to a better partner." He said, in a joking manner, and I laugh and shake my head as he leans into me and kisses me. We kiss for a few moments and then got ready for round two.

*3rd Person POV*

Dean was standing inside an empty cabin and looked around, confused. He didn't know how he ended up here, the last thing he remembered was laying in bed with (y/n) after going a few rounds. "Look at that. It's so cute when monkeys wear clothes." a voice said behind him. He turns and see Uriel standing behind him. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Dean asked. "It's the only way we could chat...since you're hiding like cowards." Uriel sneers.

"Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?" Dean asked. "Castiel? Oh, he, uh...He's not here. See, he has this weakness. He likes you." Uriel said and Dean furrows his brow before Uriel speaks again. "Time's up, boy. We want the girl."

"Wouldn't try that if I were you. See, she got her grace back. Full-blown angel now." Dean lies and Uriel smirks a bit. "That would be a neat trick, considering..." he said as he takes out a necklace, which was glowing. "...I have her grace right here. We can't let Hell get their hooks into her." He said then he tucks the necklace back in his shirt.

"Well, then why don't you just give her back her angel juice?" Dean asked him. "She committed a serious crime." Uriel replied. "What? Thinking for herself?" Dean asked. "This is our business, not yours. She's not even human...Not technically." Uriel said. "Yeah, well, I guess I just like being a pain in the pooper." Dean jokes and Uriel glares at him.

"This is your last chance. Give us the girl, or --" he said then Dean talks over him. "Or what? What, you're gonna toss me back in the hole? You're bluffing." Dean said and Uriel smiles again. "Try me. This is a whole lot bigger than the plans we got for you, Dean. You can be replaced." he said.

"What the hell? Go ahead and do it." Dean dares and Uriel eyes him, curiously. "You're just crazy enough to go, aren't you?" he asked. "What can I say? I don't break easy." Dean said, giving a cocky grin. "Oh, yes...you do. You just got to know where to apply the right pressure." Uriel said and Dean's smile falters, fear creeping up in his chest.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"I don't know, man. Where's Ruby?" Sam asked as the early hours of the next day started to peek through. "Hey, she's your Hell buddy." Dean said as he drinks from his flask. "Little early for that, isn't it?" Anna asked him. "It's 2 a.m. somewhere." he replied and I roll my eyes at this then he holds the flask out to me.

I look at it then at him and he gives a slight nod to this. "Oh, ahat the hell!" I said, matter of factly, as I take the flask and drink from it. "You okay?" Anna asked Dean as I hand his flask back. "Yeah, of course." Dean said, trying to sound casual. 

Then the doors open with a blast and Castiel and Uriel enter. "Hello, Anna. It's good to see you." Castiel said. "How? How did you find us?" Sam asked and the angels give a slight look towards Dean.

"Dean?" Sam and I said, worried, as he turns to Anna. "I'm sorry." he said to her as she gives him a sad, sympathetic look. "Why?" Sam asked. "Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me...or kill you and (y/n). I know how their minds work." Anna replied as she turns her head to the angels and glares at them.

Then she looks back at Dean and gives him a hug. "You did the best you could. I forgive you." she said and she pulls back from the embrace then turns to face Castiel and Uriel. "Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready." She said, determined. "I'm sorry." Castiel said, trying to sound sympathetic. "No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling." Anna sneered.

"Still, we have a history. It's just --" Castie said but Anna talks over him. "Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick." she said but before they could do anything a different voice speaks out.

"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." the voice said and we all turn to see Alistair, holding a bleeding Ruby, and a couple of demons standing next to us.

"How dare you come in this room...you pussing sore?" Uriel growls. "Name-calling. That hurt my feelings...You sanctimonious, fanatical prick." Alistair said. "Turn around and walk away now." Castiel ordered. "Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper." Alistair said with a sick demented grin.

"You know who we are and what we will do. I won't say it again. Leave now...or we lay you to waste." Castiel threatens. "Think I'll take my chances." Alistair said and the angels nd demons begin to fight. Castiel tries to exorcise Alistair with his hand but nothing happened.

"Sorry, kiddo. Why don't you go run to daddy?" Alistair asked, snidely, while Uriel exorcises a demon. Then Alistair begins to exorcise Castiel once he was able to take Castiel down. "Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferma, me confirma!"

But then Dean hits Alastair with a crowbar. Alistair then turns to Dean. "Dean, Dean, Dean...I am so disappointed. You had such promise." he said then he begins to attack us. But then Anna goes up to Uriel, grabbing something from him. "No!" Uriel said then Anna throws something on the ground and a white light flows into her mouth.

"Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes! Shut your eyes!" she warns us and Dean grabs me and turns me away and we all close our eyes as a bright light engulfs us.

Once it disappears, we all turn and see that Alistair was gone, leaving behind Ruby's knife. Then I look over at Castiel and Uriel, who looked beyond pissed. "Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared." I said and Uriel glares at me. "This isn't over." he growls.

"Oh, it looks over to me, junkless." Dean said and the angels disappear. Sam then turns to Ruby. "You okay?" he asked her. "Not so much." Ruby said, exhausted. "What took you so long to get here?" Dean asked. "Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured." Ruby informed then Dean turns to me.

"I got to hand it to you, (y/n). Bringing them all together all at once -- angels and demons. It was a damn good plan." he said and I smiled. "Yeah, well, when you got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight." I said. "Yeah, now you're just bragging." Dean said. "Hey, I have every right to. Cause you were doubting me." I said then Dean rolls his eyes. "Okay, let's not inflate your ego more." He said. "Too late." I joked and Sam looks at the spot Anna disappeared from.

"So, I guess she's some big-time angel now, huh? She must be happy...Wherever she is." Sam said. "I doubt it." Dean said, shaking his head.

A few hours later, we were hanging around the Impala, Sam was sitting on the hood with a beer in hand and Dean was leaning against the side of the car near him. I was sitting on the side of the car next to Dean, both of us also had a bottle of beer in hand.

"I can't believe we made it out of there." Dean said. "Again." Sam said and Dean holds his bottle and Sam clinks it. Then Dean holds his bottle to me and I clink it and we all take a sip.

"I know you two heard him." Dean said, suddenly, after a few moments of silence. "Who?" Sam and I asked him. "Alastair. What he said...about how I had promise." Dean said, not looking at us. "We heard him." I said and Sam nods. "You guys not curious?" Dean asked. "Dean, we're damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell, and I'm not pushing." Sam said and I nod. "And I'm not gonna push either." I said and Dean looks down for a moment, as if thinking over what to say, then raises his head.

"It wasn't four months, you know." he said and Sam and I turn to him as Dean sets his bottle down on the hood. "What?" We asked. "It was four months up here, but down there...I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years." he said and my jaw drops at this. "My God." Sam mutters but I had no words to say.

"They, uh...They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you..." Dean explains but stops for a moment then continues. "Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly...I would be whole again...like magic...just so they could start in all over. And Alastair...at the end of every day...every one...he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack...if I put souls on...if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him." He said.

Sam and I were listening to him and as he explained what happened to him, I felt chills running down my spine and I just couldn't help but feel awful for Dean and start to feel this new burning hate for Alastair was growing. 

"But then I couldn't do it anymore, guys. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The -- the things that I did to them." Dean said, his voice shaking with tears, as some tears run down his face. I jumped off of my spot on the car and go to stand in front of him.

"Dean..." I said, sympathetically, then I take his right hand in my left hand and raise my right hand to cup his cheek, my thumb wiping away the tears. "Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have." I said, trying to make him feel better. He closes his eyes for a moment, fresh tears rolling down his face, and raises his left hand and placed it over my hands that was on his cheek.

"How I feel...This...inside me..." he cries then opens his eyes to me. "I wish I couldn't feel anything, (y/n). I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." He said, tearfully. I frown then go to hug him and placed my right hand on his back, running it up and down in a comforting way, and place my left hand on the back of his head, my fingers running through his short hair.

He, slowly, wrapped his arms around me and buries his face into my shoulder as he continues to cry. "It's okay. It's okay." I whispered to him, soothingly, and I look over at Sam, who had this sad, shock look on his face. We both share a look and I felt tears running down my face, feeling so many different emotions and not knowing what to do.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[imagine-knb]

What kind of “reasons to cup a face” (from the prompt list) do you think Kise and Kasamatsu would like to do with their s/o or what would they like from their s/o to do with them?

Oooh this is such a cute ask to think about! For anyone wondering, anon is talking about the "reasons to cup a face" prompt list by soulprompts that I have listed on the blog's prompt suggestions page! Admin Neon

Kise

To receive — [ATTENTION]: during an important conversation, the sender takes the receiver's face in their hands and firmly directs their focus on them.

Kise knows he can be a real chatterbox sometimes, though that doesn't mean he can help it when he tends to talk over you. Sometimes he just gets so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't realize he hasn't let you get a word in edgewise for the past ten minutes. During these moments, he almost seems to pause with a fluster when you grab at his face just to get him to shut up for a second, telling him it's your turn to talk now.

To give — [KISS]: sender cups the receivers face in their hands before drawing them closer for a kiss.

Ever the romantic at heart, Kise loves to catch you by surprise when he cups your face gently. His thumbs with smooth over the skin of your cheek and he'll give you one of those cheeky, flirty smiles before he leans in for a kiss. Normally this devolves into him giving you one, two, three more kisses. Each one has him squishing your cheeks just a bit more.

Kasamatsu

To receive — [LIFT]: sender gently cups the receiver's face and lifts their chin so the receiver is looking up at them.

In the beginning of your relationship with Kasamatsu, he has a hard time looking you in the eye. Though he would never say it out loud, he actually would really enjoy it whenever you'd take him gently by the chin or cheeks, redirecting his gaze until he was forced to look at you. It always left his skin feeling warm and his breath feeling short, but he appreciated the silent reassuring you'd give him whenever you did this.

To give — [GROUND]: during a moment of intense emotional stress, the sender gently takes the receiver's face in their hands to ground them until they're calmer again.

After he's been in an established relationship with you for a while, Kasamatsu tends to pick up on all your little signs and tells. He can almost see the panic or worry washing over you well before it even hits you. He's picked up the habit of grasping your chin or cheeks in his hands from you, though his grip is a little tighter than yours ever was. He uses your focus on him as one of your grounding tools, helping you work through whatever was troubling you at that moment.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S that latest poll answer makes me sad for you. Did that inspire that fic you wrote about Sebastians body image and thr beetle?

related to my tags on this poll & this fic of mine "The Kids Aren't Alright"

This gets personal and kind of intense, so it goes below the cut!

Trigger warning for discussion of general poor mental health, depression, suicidal ideation/self harm, eating disorders, body image issues, etc.

The short answer is an overwhelming yes.

"The Kids Aren't Alright" was very much something that I wrote because it struck a chord in me--Sebastian talking about his experience with body dysmorphia always hits home for me as a guy with body dysmorphic disorder, and the first time I heard Mackie admittedly very affectionately teasing him, saying he got stuck in the VW Beetle, I was a little horrified, I mean, secondhand embarrassement, imagining embarrasment so vividly it was horrible, really. So, naturally, I had to make it into a fic.

Also, I hope you don't mind, sweets, before going on, I'm adding onto your ask with another that I got even more recently:

youre very generous with what you share, so ignore this if im over the line, but its mens mental health month and that suicidal ideation post made me think of your mental health, whats been your experience with it?? i dont have a lot of men in my life who are willing to share with me, so i thought i would ask you 🥰🥰 please delete this if youre uncomfy tho

which is related to this

Both of you are such sweethearts!

Thanks, though, I don't exactly try to share a shit ton 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess, eh, being somewhat anonymous in this corner of the internet yet being honest in the form of the spectrum of emotion from raw feral angst to private domestic fluff to shameless shut coaxes me into being so forthcoming? Not that I'm, like, super reserved otherwise, lmao.

I'll start with a short answer again before I go into deeper detail, which is just to say: my experience with it has been rough. I, a queer man, grew up in a small, red town with a very traditional family, so... yeah. It was not fun.

Okay, longer answer now because when given the opportunity, I. will. yap.

I think I will start with masculinity here because I feel as though a lot of my experiences with mental health and issues with my body tie directly into my masculinity. I don't have problems with being a man, I love being a man, it's who I am, I just don't love some of the expectations of being a man on a grand societal and interpersonal level, y'know?

Masculinity, to me, was always presented as the thing you have to be or else. Or else my parents were disappointed; or else the other boys wouldn't like me; or else I felt bad about myself: or else there must be something wrong with me; or else I must be gay; or else.

I have older siblings, and my older brother was in Boy Scouts when we were kids. Both of my parents fucking love the outdoors. So, of course, they loved that. My dad, specifically, spent all his time doing Scouts shit with my brother or organizing similar activities just for them when not at work. (I had a traditional western family unit, my dad worked, my mom was a stay-at-home mom.) And while I do enjoy the outdoors and camping and hiking and all that, just in smaller doses, I never wanted to join Scouts. I nearly immediately attached myself to art, so I just didn't have the interest. I can't do art if I'm outside digging in dirt, fighting with sticks, practicing knots, doing target practice, and backpacking (or whatever else the boys in the troop were doing), can I? That meant, if I wanted to draw or do crafts or something creative, I was inside, and my mom was looking after me and my sister while my dad and brother were out.

That did not sit well with my dad. He wanted me outside, joining Boy Scouts and fixing cars, playing mechanics with my brother. I did not want to. He tried very hard to get me to be as interested in more stereotypically manly activities with him and my brother, and it didn't work.

I'm just more artistic. That was always a clear disappointment.

To add on, as I grew up, I was not physically traditionally masculine, either. I've cracked jokes here and there that I'm not too dissimilar to pre-serum Steve before. It's not far off. I'm about 5'6", a little taller, and skinny.

I grew up waiting desperately for puberty, waiting for my muscles and growth spurt and... it didn't happen. My voice dropped way deep (which meant it cracked wildly and super noticeably, and, of course, I got shit for it), and I enjoyed that. I never had a pressing issue with my dick, I mean, I would hazard a guess that anyone with a dick worries about size at some point just because that's something etched deep in social sexuality, but I had more pressing things to obsess over. Like, at first, when body hair started to kick in, I was psyched to see it, and then it kept coming and suddenly guys in the locker room were pointing it out and making fun of me for being a "little guy" with so much body hair. Puberty also did fuck my face up with acne which destroyed a lot of my self-esteem, too. I had to go on Accutane not once, not twice, but three times. I still have a robust routine to keep my skin clear (but it is clear these days and I'm still reeling thinking about it, it took someone telling me I had really nice skin for me to snap out of it and realize I wasn't still covered with acne, actually. And that was recent!).

I didn't have my pre- to post-serum sudden increase in height and muscle moment, so I continued to feel scrawny and weak. Having pectus excavatum, a birth defect where my sterum curves in instead of going down in a straight line, never helped, either--I got made fun of for that, of course. I remember a comment about how one guy in a locker room wasn't going to dare to hit me/slap me on the back because he would clearly just break me... yeah, that didn't help feeling like the odd one out, unmasculine, fragile, and unattractive.

My self-esteem is much better these days, I will gladly say, but I genuinely used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about what I looked like, never mind actually looking in the mirror. I felt horrible that I had to go out in public and subject people to looking at my face. I'm an avid journal-er, and I have old entries where I just go on and on and on and on about how I felt like a monster. Disgusting and hideous.

It doesn't matter that I know, objectively, that I have a fairly masculine and even an attractive face. My jaw is square, I can grow a beard, I have a deep voice, my eyes are green, I've been very lucky to have straight, white teeth without braces and all that. Plus, people seem to like my cheekbones and curly hair. My voice, too, people seem to enjoy my voice and my mouth. So, evidently, others seem to appreciate my face. So many people spread over so many years have no real reason to lie. I'm complimented. I've not had problems when it comes to dating and relationships or whatever. Yet still, it's just not what I see. I say I know objectively what I look like because I know facts about myself, but I...

I don't really know what I look like, if that makes sense? My reflection shifts a lot, over the years I have had a problem with every part of my face, every part of my body, and I know I can't trust what I see in the mirror. I fixate on things, and it consumes my viewing experience.

Part of the consequences of all... that... all those issues above have been my experience with eating disorders. I've had some fun [sarcastic] mix of orthorexia, binge eating disorder, and anorexia over most of my conscious life. From the moment I was aware of myself and my own body, I've had problems fueling my body. It's a cycle over years and years that's been going on since late elementary school (around 10, 11), where I'm fucking sick and tired of feeling weak and useless and not masculine, so I push myself too hard in the gym and kitchen--working out until I'm physcially ill, blacking out, blistering from running and lifting, I've torn a few things that way, while obsessing with healthy foods at the same time to the point that it's unhealthy. That happens for however long I can take it. Then, eventually, I break. And I get into a cycle of binging that destroys my ability to go to the gym, so it's just binging. Cycles of it, uncontrollable. That morphs into feeling too big and disgusted with myself in the opposite way that I started with, so my brain fixates on restricting. What goes up must come down, though, so with enough of that... then I feel too small again and, yeah. It starts over. 🙃

I have worked very hard to break it with the help of friends and a short lived experience with therapy (he was a terrible therapist, then my insurance stopped covering it, so I couldn't afford to go or find a new one), but I've--dare, I say--gotten into some kind of balance more recently.

To end on perhaps a hilariously on-theme note and something happier, what I have found is that sex helps. Therapy and supportive friends and good environment are obviously irreplaceable. But, sex is good, too. When I was in the thick of all that, younger with my mental health challenges way more out of control, I'm sure I was just getting away from the numbness and hurt--endorphins, oxytocin, y'know, all that.

Then, I'm sure it was added to by the fact that suddenly, with sex, women (I am queer but when I started fucking around, I only felt safe enough to be with women, I didn't think I could be out where I was, and now... that's just the way it's worked out. It happens to have been women) were enjoying me. Enjoying what I could give them. Complimenting me explicitly or implicitly. Saying I'm hot or, clearly, if we're having sex, I'm not so disgusting that you don't want to fuck me.

But, sex helps beyond those rudimentary things, too. Finding kinky people and sex-positive people has inadvertently led me to find body positive people and find examples of real bodies--people really actually enjoying themselves. Spending more time naked is beneficial, too, haha. Slowly, I'm learning to appreciate myself more. This is my body. It's the only one I have to live in, I may as well make peace with it. And I will take the pleasure that my body can give others. I appreciate that I can do that. I like making people feel good, I like having their faith put in me to make them feel good and treat them and their bodies well, like they're desired, or not 😏, depending on what they're into. I want to pull that pleasure out of them. I want to make them feel good, bad, whatever. I want them to feel in their body.

Did that answer the question, lmao? I just rambled 💀💀

[happilylovingchaos]

Last @lonestar-s5countdown Beginnings and Endings Week Post

I have a new work schedule now! And Lone Star is ending with season 5 real soon! That’s been fun getting used to… (/s) so I’ll post my fanfic/ music recs as one post tomorrow. Let’s see how much I can post w/o this becoming a complete image-less wall of stream-of-consciousness… but it will still be inevitable to everyone in the LS fandom who follows my handle and welcomed me. And if I haven’t said it yet, or enough, or sincerely in the last almost-year, thank you. Just thank you for your niceness, all your everything you’ve expressed, letting me be part of the fan group! I really really hope the end of the show doesn’t mean the end of this community, but whatever happens, it’s been a hella exhilarating, emotional, and lively experience.

(1) Which 911 Lone Star season premier is your favorite?

It’s a draw between seasons 2 and 4– I like the season premieres of 1 and 3 as much as everyone but holy hell I was not ready for the emotional twists in them to hit me the way they did. I am still in emotional recovery in both the good and bad ways. Both 2 and 4, until their respective cliffhangers, were quite light-hearted and self-contained with hints at the storylines to come, and those were easier for me to enjoy. Plus, Tommy, Gwyn and Iris (re-debut, in Iris’ case) had some colorful debuts! (I will always wish that Owen and Gwyn’s characters had a little more time together outside of the wit/ playfulness/ vitriol, and a couple more scenes with TK without their son always needing to be middle-man. But Rob, Lisa and Ronen played off of each other so well!) Gina’s portrayal of Tommy was just magnetically charismatic even without Michelle there— ‘Nuff said. And while I had issues with Iris’ bluntness (especially since it sorta re-opened some of TK’s emotional wounds), I could relate to being on both sides of a conversation in a similar situation to her— seeming hard to read/ confusing to most everyone around her (sometimes even with trusted family/ friends), and being confused/ offended by the delivery of what we convey.

(2) Which character do you think had the best introduction or first scene in the show?

I’m gonna say… it’s a toss-up between Judd and Grace for their natural first integration into the story and the first successful show>tell moment about them (specially Judd) in the series, Marjan (social media firefighter Muslim badass, in a description), and Mateo (for his own intro as unassuming but more than capable— Julian nails the portrayal of this character archetype in LS and The Long Game). Confusingly honorable mention goes to Michelle in hindsight, though? To me, she’s okay as a character, but I do understand where some fans were put off by her personality/ Liv’s portrayal.

(3) What is your favorite moment of 1x01?

Judd officially starting his end of the friendship with Owen by strong-arming him into accepting a chocolate chip cookie— you try saying no to a big Texan guy played by Jim Parrack and a mom and daughter holding a platter of chocolate chip cookies. Really, it’s tricky and you will probably get on their respective neutral if not shit lists. And Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” was quite a bop to end on! (Though, how did people find that wild? Just a little confused.)

(4) How did you first start watching Lone Star and how did you find out about it?

My aunt showed my mom and me the first parts of season 3– I saw… looking back on it, I’m a bit fuzzy on details but sometime in 2022 (def not consecutive days tho), I think I saw part of 3x04, then 3x07, and all of 3x08. And that last episode made me sob, I’m not ashamed to admit it now or in my grief week post. (My mom, grandma, uncle and aunt were watching it with me at dinner and were very confused about why I was crying.) Then I saw the last 3 eps, and it got me curious/hooked, so I went into season 4 kinda blind. Then I downloaded Hulu to catch up on the series proper, and the rest is rewatch history.

(5) What is one wish you have for the season 5 premiere?

Mostly that the overall narratives don’t feel too rushed or forced should there be a timeskip? I hate that Fox couldn’t get the show renewed… but on a lighter note? I’d like a solid explanation/ in-character reason for Grace’s absence that IS NOT a character death, a breakup, or anything relating to misblaming Wyatt.

Open tag to everyone as well!

[sanssouci-sims]

Those of you who have been to my main blog in the past year or so might recognize these familiar faces. The little girl is Karin Fjellvik, a character from the game “My Child Lebensborn” (I call it “MCL” for short), and the woman is Karita Omdahl, my MCL fan character/self-insert and Karin’s adoptive mother. I’ve made a few posts about them both on my main blog as well as my sideblog which specifically focuses on my OC x canon relationships, so take a gander if you’d like to read more about them! 

I’ll probably mention a bit of the game as I talk about them in this post, so minor spoilers ahead!! Also, fair warning if you do decide to check out the actual game for yourself: it’s based on real historical events (specifically having to do with the end of World War 2) and involves prejudice/racism and violence towards a child (among other things). Needless to say, it’s quite emotional, and let’s just say that by the end of my play-through, I wanted to punt quite a few people into the shadow realm because of what they did to my poor daughter. 😭

While MCL was originally set during the aftermath of World War 2, I imagine my sims counterparts live in the modern day. Funnily enough, the developers of MCL are currently working on a sequel which will take place in a more modern setting! I would think the sims versions of Karin and Karita moved to this new place in Willow Creek after they’d gone through similar events that happened in the original game. All they wanted to do was to just... get away from their old town, from Karin’s old school, from everything their cruel neighbors had done to them.

Karin and Karita would start their new lives in this modest but pretty one-story home with a small outdoor area for the two to sit and for Karin to play. In the game, you happen to make contact with Karin (or her male counterpart Klaus)’s biological father, who wires you money to help you move out of town. I imagine Karita used much of that money to pay off this new house. They started with only $200 in simoleons, which was a nod to how you would start off with 200 coins (? - dollars? Or whatever they used in Norway during that time? I don’t think the game actually specified what that actual currency was lmao) in the original game.

As money is tight in their household, Karita knows they’ll need it only for the most important items, and she’s made sure Karin knows that. There are times where Karin wishes she had the newest toys or clothes like the other kids have, and she’ll get upset when she can’t have them. Karita promises she’ll buy them one day for her, just not today. After all, it’s better to be selfless than selfish. Karin recently received a whole mini art studio set for her birthday, and she LOVES it! She plans to create lots of artwork to display in her room, and she even uses it occasionally in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep. She even says she hopes to help her mother earn money by selling her best artwork. 🥰

On certain days of the week, Karita works as a manual laborer as a way to bring in some stable income (I thought this was the closest to some kind of factory work, which is your/the parent’s job in MCL). The catch to this, though, is that she currently works during the weekend, which means Karin is left at home alone in the morning. :( Karita knows how much her daughter hates being by herself, so once she returns home from work, she makes sure they spend plenty of quality of time together. Their favorite activities include fishing (they can catch something to eat or Karin asks to keep one as a little pet), reading books, drawing pictures, cooking, and watching television.

See the little fish next to the television? Karin caught it and wanted to save it from being eaten!

Other than Karin’s idea to sell some of her artwork in the future, the two also already have creative ways to earn extra money on the side (or when they really need money fast). For one, Karita happens to enjoy gardening and has made a habit of exploring her neighborhood and harvesting wild plants to grow around their home. She may keep some to use as fresh ingredients/food, but most of the time, she’ll sell them when they’re fully grown.

Being experienced in manual labor, Karita isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty by digging for things as well. She’ll sell the majority of her finds along with things she catches through fishing.

Karin is also a keen explorer and likes to look for frogs. She’ll keep them as pets, too, but once she catches a new one, she knows she’ll have to sell the old one since multiple frogs is... kind of a lot to deal with in such a small home, lol.

This is her latest find, a spotted leaf frog!

So that’s basically how a typical day would go for Karin and Karita! Karin goes to school during the week, of course, and since Karita doesn’t work on weekdays, she’ll usually spend those days building her skills and doing the many things she’s already come up with to earn extra money.

Currently, Karita is hoping to save up for some renovations, including expanding the interior of their home so she will able to build a little writing studio! She wishes to write about her and Karin’s experiences and to send a message to the world to be kind to each other - something among those lines.

I like playing wholesome families like this, and I think the added challenge of reduced funds not only ties into the original game where the characters came from, but it also makes playing this household a lot more fun and interesting.

Oh, I forgot to mention, guess who came by their household while I was taking screenshots of them for this post?

a wild rose appears lmao

also i just realized you can spy one of dina caliente’s sons in the background

[classasurreptitiouslurker]

Gabriel's Memory, Again

So, a while back I mentioned that I found that, with a nitpick-y approach, you could arguably say that all of the times (I make it five, but let me know if I've forgotten anything) when Jim remembers - using the term loosely here, because I'm also including his trances - something of Gabriel all operate differently. This, now, is the nitpick in question. Fair warning: there's no conclusion to be had here, since there's not enough similarities to draw one, and just the fact of the differences also isn't exactly sufficient for that, and as I mainly wrote this to lay it and my thoughts out - for clarity, recall and organisation, but also as a starting point and, so to speak, to-do list for things I want to look at still - it may be a little (or little more) rough.

First up, going by episode chronology, we've got whatever it was that drove Jim to seek out Aziraphale to begin with. From what he says, it seems to have been a combination of perceptions that led him to Aziraphale: a vague sense of doom - the "something terrible" - and an equally vague sense that this was a being who could help and shelter him - "as long as I came here [it] might not happen to me". Whether he's feeling love, or ethereal energy, or still subconsciously retaining a memory of Aziraphale's personality, or of a plan he formed while he was still Gabriel, and what exactly the "something terrible" actually was, since he can't actually remember, just that it's coming (and how did he find the bookshop anyways?), is, while interesting and a topic for the future, not making much of a difference here. Either way, whatever precisely's behind this, it's manifesting in a way that seems like a sort of sixth sense, a vague, generalised impression, strong enough to move him but not so strong as to give him any urgency, apparently emotion-based and possibly, at least partially, not actually a memory at all.

Next is when starts singing Everyday to himself in E2. He has no idea why he starts doing it - he doesn't even realise he is at first - or where it came from and it seems to have come to him later, rather than being something he knew from the start, with no particular trigger beyond a possible tenuous after K comes L -> L = love -> love = Beelzebub -> Beelzebub = Everyday connection, in which case it's still not jarring or abrupt in the way he suddenly gets snapped into his trance later in the episode. Everyday featured prominently in two of the three key Beelzebub meetings we were shown, and is a symbol of their relationship, not to mention played a fairly major role in the memory of him receiving the fly, the critical component of his escape plan, making it a personally significant piece of information. Like the instinct that made him seek out Aziraphale, it revolves around emotion; however, beyond that, it's practically entirely opposite. Whereas the former's broad, seemingly slightly random, and without the details to make sense of it, Everyday's essentially one single important detail, completely isolated and context-free, something we later learn is special to Gabriel, but which is without that additional background far too narrow in scope to explain even its presence, let alone its meaning.

In the same episode, we also get his first trance-like altered state. He 'snaps' into this state after Crowley directly questions him about "the first thing [he] remember[s]" - possibly what he meant in the last episode by "ask him properly" (and another post - really this whole paragraph is) - although snaps isn't really the right word for the way he struggles into the trance, wrestling either with his own memory or a possessing force. The process seems exhausting and painful, and he says he can't keep going, adding "not anymore" with a surprising sudden flash of insight into his former capabilities, and he appears disorientated - but aware of the situation - afterwards. His eyes go back to Supreme Archangel Gabriel purple and God's voice echoes alongside his when he speaks. The words are also God's, spoken when Gabriel was not actually present. It seems unlikely that the Bildad masquerade would have gone the way it did if he'd been spying on that scene, but there's no way to truly eliminate the possibility that he somehow overheard God, though that seems an utterly random memory to procure. It's possible God is somehow speaking through him, or perhaps Gabriel simply has access to Her words, in form of some kind of God's Messenger function, however, I've also wondered whether they both use the same words because they are both referring to the same, third, thing. Regardless of what exactly's going on here - as I said, I'd like to make a separate post for that sometime - it doesn't fit into a pattern with either of the previous occurrences, which, okay, this is a separate matter, but it doesn't seem the same as his next trance either.

Coming to said next trance: at the end of E3, Jim gets (apparently) triggered by Crowley's use of the word "tempest", which features in his own words, and accordingly, seems to have acted as a sort of key or index. Once again, there's a clear verbal cue, though of slightly different format, that snaps him into his trance, delivered, again, by Crowley. It looks smoother this time however, less of a struggle and more a fluid transition from one moment to the next. His eyes revert to Angel-Gabriel-BluePurple and while I personally don't hear anyone speaking, I'm taking other people's word that it sounds like there's a woman voice overlaid; it's certainly not God speaking again though. The words themselves, bizarrely enough considering that this is all about memory, sound very much like a prophecy. Of course it's possible that the memory element comes back in if he's either repeating a prophecy he's heard or read before (greetings to Agnes) or if it's referring to an event that's already happened (or that it's not a prophecy at all) but at first glance, we seem to be dealing with the future instead of the past, which, besides being strange, is distinctly the opposite of last time's distant biblical past. After the trance ends, with a moment's delay that almost gave the impression he was going to say more, Jim's memory appears inexplicably reverted to its E1 state, something I'd say doesn't seem to happen after the first trance. Having presumably plot relevant for as-yet-unknown reasons, clearly otherworldly moments of recollection, they would naturally be distinct from the 'regular' workings of Jim's amnesia, but the issue is that they're also different from each other.

Finally, there's his conversation with Crowley in E5, in which he describes where his memory is: "In a matchbox. No, I took it out first... and I put it in the box and I brought it here...". There's only really one piece missing here, the fly, which is the most important bit, sure, but at the same time a fairly small one. Beyond that, this is a fairly focused, specific, relevant memory of direct personal importance, decently detailed and even showing signs of putting a chronology back together, with which he is able to give a direct, on-topic answer to a question. He then follows this up with the "institutional problem" comment, which is unfortunately, unlike the matchbox-memory segment, back to being totally abstracted from context. It does relate to the topic, since it was connected to his trial, but of course, for the characters it's once again an entirely random statement. Still, this whole sequence (triggered once again by Crowley's probing) is the most precision Jim ever shows regarding Gabriel's memories, offering specific details and relevant, targeted, albeit not actually useful, answers, an on-point factualness that doesn't really align with the emotionally-driven, intuition-like flashes of his previous memories. He also says that it hurts to remember, which seems to be more the case in his first trance - he's even repeating the 'head not big enough' here - than in the two previous - and despite their differences, still more similar to this than said trance - cases of 'normal' remembering.

[murphysketchs]

Welcome to Deadcember.

What IS Deadcember?

Deadcember is an event that I made a few years ago aiming to make myself cry over my OCs with various different prompts. They were just small doodles but I also ended up killing some of my friends with them too. Thus, I made a prompt list aimed towards causing emotion distress to them <3333

Where is the prompt list and rules, you fool?

I don’t have the prompt list really written down anywhere except for on spare canvases and pieces of paper (I made this challenge during high school and am just very disorganized) so I’m still compiling all the prompts for this year. I do have Day 1 already at the ready though!

It's right here!! This is the "Official Deadcember Prompt List" that I made and have gathered up for your convenience.

As for rules? Well- This is literally coming off of the back of Huevember and NaNoWriMo, so it’s just a very low stakes challenge. You’re not meant to burn yourself out with this and you’re given multiple prompts to use or not use. The goal of it is just for some good feelings relief honestly, cause holidays are stressful as hell.

Now, with that out of the way, here’s the “Official Rules” of Deadcember!

Rules:

You get a small list of words (some may have more than others honestly, whoops!) and you either draw, write, or create something in general that does or does not fit the theme(s) of the day. Like I said earlier, you’re just aiming to make yourself or your friends cry/die inside!

This is a very lax challenge, so there is no day requirement to hit to complete this.

You only did one day but it didn’t follow the list and still made you cry? Congrats! You “won” Deadcember! Very proud of you for finding the energy to do anything at all during this month <333

You did every single day and included EVERY PROMPT? Dude that’s just amazing! Genuinely so glad for you!

Remember to skip days when you need to and that this month is made as a brain relief. Holidays and stuff are stressful and sometimes can cause big feelings of dread or make some not so good memories resurface, so these are for you to kind of vent.

Don’t forget to properly tag your stuff with correct trigger warnings when applicable! While you may want to vent, that doesn’t mean you get a pass to show it off without some type of warning.

And it’s just for fun! You don’t have to feel the need to vent into the pieces you make, in fact, you don’t have to make sad stuff at all! You can cry over tooth rotting, cute, very fluffy art. Whatever you choose to do, just be safe, take care of yourself, and relax.

That being said, make sure to tag with #deadcember if you post these cause I want to see if you decide to post them (totally cool if you don't, I'm not your dad)

[anthrofreshtodeath]

Do you remember what the first smut you ever wrote was? And how did you get so confident in writing it (or was it always easier for you?) I am dabbling in some writing for the first time in my fandom life and I find a lot of it flows right out of me, but the smut?? Good christ I’m all over the place with it and don’t think I’m succeeding in what I’m actually trying to convey 😂😭 Do you have any tips?

Hmm… I think the first smut I wrote was when I was 19 for Alucard and Integra of Hellsing (the anime). I never posted it. It was bad.

And I hope I’m not bursting your bubble, but for me, the smut writing never really got easier 😂. I don’t really think my smut is all that good, so I may be the wrong person to ask. But like you, I struggle because it is very… choreographed. It’s like playing Tetris with your writing. The end result is supposed to be sexy, but the process is so technical as to be dry (at least for me).

But, with that said, I guess I have a few tips:

1) unless you’re writing PWP, try to give your smut a purpose. I’ll use CMWHS chapter 14 as an example - Jane and Maura are fucking, but Maura is using the fucking to punish Jane in a very particular kind of way that she knows will hurt Jane because Jane hurt her. So, successfully or not, it serves the plot. Once I know what I want the sex scene to do, then I plan out the acrobatics, LOL. Meaning what positions, what do they say to each other, etc.

2) just get the skeleton on the page. If you’re not sure of all the above, put a barebones placeholder down, like a sketch of how you want the scene to go, then return to it later after you’ve had time to think about it. Wow, lots of bones talk here, but I do this one all the time.

3) listen to music to get you in the right headspace! This doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me. Listen to sex music. Get a feel for what is sexy to you and to other people and draw inspiration from that. Notice I am not recommending a certain genre because sex music can mean different things to different people. Send an ask or a DM if you want to know specific artists or songs I listen to in order to get in the smut writing zone.

4) read other people’s work! This is so important for all types of writing, smut included. Well-rounded readers are better writers. Don’t copy, but draw inspiration.

5) Last one - don’t try to be too sexy. This is hard to explain and I’m not even sure I can articulate what I mean by it very well, but I’m going to try. Avoid porny language, the “oh yeah right there baby” stuff. The over the top, “her orgasm ripped through her” type of stuff. I think we’re all guilty of going there from time to time, myself totally included, but sex is a thing that real people do. Real people say real things and crack real jokes and express real emotions during sex. They say silly things, they say sexy things that you wouldn’t necessarily find conventionally sexy, but oh boy does it work for their partner(s). Write about what you find sexy, or what people have told you they find sexy, independent of what media tells us what we should think is sexy. Queer spaces are great for this. One thing I think is hot? When Jane Rizzoli crosses her arms and nods while Maura Isles is talking, all while she looks down at her, in a completely nonsexual context or conversation. I can take that body language and transpose it onto a sex scene, alter it a bit, and it works. It’s not, you know, them making out or moaning or getting bent over or whatever (those things can be hot too), but it feels more real because it’s true to character. I hope that made even the tiniest bit of sense 😂. Long story short I think the hottest smut is the smut that is unique to those characters, not just the smut that ticks all the kink boxes or gets all the conventional positions right. Though getting those boxes ticked can be fun too! When people combine the character development and the kinky boxes? God tier smut.

Like I said - probably not the right person to ask given my complicated relationship with my smut writing, but I hope this helped! If it wasn’t so awkward I’d do a “my favorite sex scenes and what I find successful about them” series of posts or something.

[venusloveslobotomies]

wahaha...it's time to stop being anonymous and ask for a match up, haha! i'm so glad you do match ups. i love your writing so i'm happy because i can ask you for a match up!!

i'm a female, she/her, taurus, infp 4w5 !! i'm a have long straight ginger hair and blue eyes. ah, and A LOT of freckles on my face...

i'm self-diagnosed autistic. i have an eating disorder. aaand i'm always dizzy, hehe..! i'm SO emotional and empathetic!! i'm a proud bisexual BUT i would prefer to be matched up with a man, tehee... (つω`｡)

i'm calm and nice, i guess..? i'm really introverted and so, SO awkward when it comes to socializing. i'm very anxious when i have to talk to people that i don't know. i can struggle with simple tasks like buying something in store or ordering something in cafe. anxiety is part of my personality, HELP.

but! i'm with people who's my dear friends i'm really loving and caring. like, i'm pretty sure that everyone can feel loved with me. some people told me that i'm really soft and kind wahaha..! so if i will open up to you i can guarantee you that i can and i will make you feel so, so loved!

i'm fond of biology and chemistry and i want to become a doctor in the future! i mean...doctor is someone who can help people. i just feel like this is a right profession for me. all i want to do is make people healthy and happy! when it comes to my hobbies...i really enjoy drawing! and playing the guitar! i can express myself through art and music and i think that's amazing. hehe! ☆

my love language is physical touch! i enjoy being physically close to those who i love with all my heart, i will feel sad if i will have no chance to touch my loved ones. my second love language is words of affirmation, i guess..? so yeah, i would love to receive love with those love languages! when it comes to giving, eh...i will do just simply anything to make my loved one happy. i will hug them, tell them how good they are and how proud i am of them! i will give them gifts and just spend time with them. my main goal is to make them feel loved and safe. (⌒▽⌒)♡

some random fact about me - i really, i mean REALLY love the colour BLUE. like...i will feel so, so happy if i will look at something blue! a lot of my clothes is blue, my favourite bag is blue, i have...a blue among us plushie...that's embarrassing but this stupid little plushie is so cute and BLUE! so yeah, colour blue is so special for me. it makes me feel calm and happy!

ahh the way i write is messy a bit...i'm sorry! and i apologize for any spelling mistakes, english isn't my first language. i swear that i did my best while i was writing this..!

thank you in advance!! have a nice...day ooor evening or whatever it is for you, hehe...☆

Thank you so much for your love! It means a lot to me <333

I’ve gotta match you up with Butters! You guys are both sweet and kind and would do anything for other people! I think he would provide you with so much love that matches your love language! Cuddles and hugs and compliments!

I think he needs an adoring person like you in his life. He gets kinda shoved to the side by most of his friends so having someone so loving and understanding would do wonders for his confidence. I think he’d also help bring you out of your shell and be so easy to get along with despite your anxieties.

I think he’d love braiding your hair and also would probably learn the guitar so you guys can play together. He seems to me like someone who would do anything for his s/o.

I hope you like it <333 Thank you again for being so nice ☺️☺️💕💕

[mehidktbh]

bestie i hate to be that person, but if it’s not too much trouble, could i possibly request Vincent with a big boobed s/o, like the one you did with Bo? i’m so sorry for askin but either way thank you 😣

A/N: No need to apologise, I am more than happy to write for you and any of your requests!! I was actually waiting for someone to come out with Vincent or Lester, so I'm very happy you did it! thxsm :) So sorry if this turned out bad :( Hope you like it through!

Warning 18+: NSFW/Smut, sexual activities and themes included, mad Vincent >:(, Jealous Vincent :( and drinking alcohol

SFW

- Where do I even start with this man...

- You having such a big chest is probably such a win for him, it's almost like he's been waiting for you to step through his life at one point. AND HERE YOU ARE!!

- Unlike Bo, Vincent cares deeply about what you wear around the house and outside, he knows brothers and he knows that visitors don't respect other people around this town. He's seen it all and knows what happens, heck he probably knows what Bo does too.

- I can see Vincent mostly dressing you up into comfy clothes like his, meaning mostly clothes that cover up a lot of skin or really thick fabric. So you'll mostly be wearing jackets, hoodies, cardigans, sweatpants, long pants. You know the rules, but of course, he isn't going to force you to wear them, it's what makes you comfortable and whatever you like and are happy with, he is too! :)

- Vincent likes it when you are in the house more often and down in the basement with him, he can be very possessive easily. And I mean easily.

- You better start liking being down in the basement all day considering he's probably going to keep you there.

- I mean I can also see Vincent being protective around his brothers too, him just standing there next to you. His arm wrapped around your body, his head leaning on the shoulder as he tries to listen to what the conversation is about.

- Instead of Bo who would hang around the corner and call out your name when he thought things were escalating. Vincent will always be there, either being; sitting next to you, standing next to you, in the same room as you. It's never-ending with Vincent.

NSFW

- Oh yeah... this man definitely has a fucking mummy kink... maybe?

- Through he definitely fantasies about boobs a lot, and probably gets a lot of awaked boners and wet dreams some days.

- So when you turn up, Vincent is more than happy to let some of his frustration and pent up emotions out.

- Vincent probably gets off a lot of the time just by having your presence, I know that sounds weird but... He probably loves just having you around him whether that be, just watching him doing his art sculptures, talking to him or even just being in the same room.

- For some reason whenever you appear his thoughts are instantly changed by you, it's always you. The thoughts of him just taking you right then and there on the counter is always clinging in the back of his mind. The feeling of your pussy tightly squeezing him, your gasps and moans, you desperately grabbing onto anything you can grab onto or his clothes or hair.

- He thinks there is something wrong with him by how many times he thinks all these perverted thoughts about you, he can't help himself. He naturally feels embarrassed when he realises he has been staring at your chest the whole time, and that his pants are getting tighter and the hair is suddenly hotter.

- This man also loves any position where he can get a clear view of your tits or at least he can grab them. So yeah definitely missionary... lots of it.

- Vincent also has a personal collection of naked sketches he does of you, there are a lot in different positions. While some of are you, I can also see him drawing a few self-inserts... hehe

- He loves drawing different figures of you, almost everyone in nude form. He also keeps the book in a very secret spot, far away from anything or anyone... and I mean anyone or anything.

♡ ♡ ♡

You couldn't stop laughing at Lester's joke, he continued to laugh trying his best to explain further but was interrupted by his laughing. You felt like you couldn't breathe, the room was filled with laughter and the TV playing in the background.

"Will you guys shu't up!?" Bo yelled, "I can't hear the dam' TV!"

While you tried to keep in your giggles Lester looked like he was about to die any second, his face was hot from how much he was trying to hold in his laughter.

Vincent was sitting there the entire time, staring at you two and trying to understand the joke. Maybe the reference was from a movie or show that he hasn't watched, considering nowadays you and Lester watched a lot of movies when he came over.

Vincent felt like the third wheeler right now, and he hated it. He looked up from the drink in front of him that had only a few sips taken out of, which when he looked over to the table you and Lester were on, there were drinks everywhere.

He knew you were drunk, and Lester was too, and when you guys get drunk you do stupid shit.

Vincent scooted closer to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. Not trying to get your attention out loud, but just quietly giving you hints, which seemed to fly straight past your drunken state.

"I gotta' go to th’ bathroom, be righ't back" Lester laughed getting up, finally some alone time with you. After what seemed like forever and every single hint Vincent gave you, you finally turned your attention to him.

"You okay, Vinny?" Oh god, don't stop calling him that. Vincent nodded he seemed alright to you, but on the inside he was dying. Practically just thinking about taking you down to the basement and throwing you on the bed.

"God, I'm so tired" You yawned, Vincent perked up, he was now stuck on the thought of being in bed with you. His arms under your shirt, twisting and touching your nipples, as he slowly grinded from behind as you slowly fell asleep.

Vincent squeezed his legs shut, instead, he was trying to focus on his hot girlfriend beside him. "Wanna go to bed?" Vinny nodded eagerly, yes he did, he just wanted to be pressed against you right now as the sounds of your breathing soothed him.

"Alright, come on" You got up, nearly tipping over in the process if Vincent wasn't there to guide you. "Goodnight, Bo" You turned around, he waved his hand.

Finally, you guys got into bed, Vincent holding you the entire time you walked down the stairs, holding onto your drunken body. You collapsed onto the bed, patting the spot next to you as Vincent calmly got in.

You scooted your way into Vincent's chest, your back was now touching Vincent's fuzzy jacket and his hair tickling your neck. "Good-" You yawned "- night, Vinny".

Vincent watched you for a second, his arms sneakily made his way to your shirt, slipping his hands under your t shirt as hey felt your warm, smooth skin against his finger tips. His hands were cold and calloused but he knew you didn't mind, instead, you loved when Vincent always did this, even when you didn't know he did this half the time because mostly you were asleep before he did it.

He slowly rubbed at your nipples and breasts, slowly grinding his erection along with your pants and thighs as he slowly drifted asleep.

[tommybaholland]

how they make-out with their s/o

featuring: midoriya, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, kaminari, shinso, amajiki, and dabi 

“where they like to kiss” recently hit 1k notes, so here’s something a little more...spicy ;) thank you for reading and enjoy! x

midoriya remains the clumsy, bumbling, lovesick fool that he can be when he’s about to kiss you. but once he gets the hang of anything he tries, he gets pretty good at a steady pace. he was quite awkward, at first, because he didn’t know what to do with his hands and just kept them locked by his sides. now, once his lips are on yours, he relaxes instantly and just feels out the moment. he doesn’t hesitate to throw his arms around you, holding you close as he begins to nibble on your lip. he likes having you straddling him as you make out, playing around with the pace of the kiss. your lips moving slower and leaving longer kisses while he holds you so close that there’s no space between you until he leans back as your lips pick the pace back up and you lean against him, his hands moving all over you. 

bakugo has always had everything come naturally for him but kissing you never failed to make him secretly on edge. he hates how hot his cheeks feel when you’re that close to him and your eyes are locked with his. he alleviates the tension by pressing his lips hard onto yours for a second before pulling back. then he realizes he wants more but he doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. fortunately, you pull him back by his shirt and just start devouring each other with the passion on your lips. the overwhelming emotions he feels in these moments have him kissing you so desperately that his whole body curves into you. once he builds his confidence, he really enjoys pressing you against a wall and kissing you so that you’re pressed right up against him. he never pulls away completely, usually following with kisses trailing down your neck, as that’s his favorite spot. 

todoroki had to learn how to take things a little slower at first. he used to slam his lips right onto yours, not even giving you a chance to take a breath. you then decide to take more lead by gently pressing your lips against his softly, slowly working up the movement between your hands and lips. it was like a whole new world had opened up for him. he could not get enough of moments like these. he likes to have an arm around your shoulder or pulling you closer gently by your elbow while the other cradles the back of your head or your cheek. during the first time you made out, he pulls away and asks, “was that okay?” and you don’t spare a moment to answer him by pulling him back into you, filling his heart with small flutters as you kiss him some more. 

kirishima loves kissing you and he also loves talking to you. and you’d be mistaken if you think he can’t do both whenever you find more time alone together. he makes every moment he gets alone with you count and better than the last. he’ll start by asking you about your day, talk about his day a little and he usually ends up going off on a tangent about something random but eventually, he’ll get distracted by looking at you and your amazing lips. he likes to start with a soft kiss and then pull away to declare a meaningful ‘i love you’ before pulling you back in for a passionate affirmation. he’s not shy about giggling or letting out a few breathy moans against your lips; you’re too tasty not to. gentle doesn’t begin to describe his movements as he always makes sure you’re comfortable when his hands wander or his tongue takes a peek inside your mouth. 

kaminari puts on a front as a smoothing-talking, peoples’ man but in reality, he’s just as clumsy as midoriya. now with you as his s/o, he’s nervous as hell because you’re so pretty and it’s amazing that you even want to kiss him. he remembers what an idiot he felt like after he only caught the corner of your lips during your first kiss. but your smile afterward weighs even heavier in his mind. that’s what pulls him toward you as he stares at your lips until he can’t take it anymore. he thought he had accidentally activated his quirk from the spark he felt when your lips touched, making him automatically pull back to make sure you’re okay. instead, you’re smiling and he almost feels like this is all a dream. you’re his sleeping beauty, except he can only be awoken by your kiss. he’s also a big fan of distracting you from whatever you’re intently doing with kisses, fingers hooking gently under your chin and those golden eyes are the last things you see. 

shinso catches himself getting lost into your eyes, often surprising himself when his lips are on yours in the next moment. he doesn’t remember who or what initiated it but it ends up full of passion and he loves the feeling of you all up against him. he presses his fingers into your back which raises your shirt up and his fingertips catch on the small part of exposed skin on your lower back. the first time he did that, you broke the kiss with a gasp and he immediately became anxious, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to-- mmph.” you simply pull him back into you, deciding that you love the feeling of him all over you just as much as he does. now he doesn’t hesitate to run his fingers over your skin, feeling the goosebumps pop up as he draws little circles into it. the feeling is mutual, as the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as your hands get lost in his hair, tingles shooting all the way down his spine. 

amajiki is usually not the one to initiate a make-out session if that weren’t already obvious. he’s very shy about kisses or any intimate contact with you, for that matter. he’ll often whimper when your lips are suddenly against his but he can’t complain about the moment he gets to share with you. despite how timid he can be, he can surprise you, and himself, too. one time after he pressed a small kiss to your nose, he thought you were so precious that he remained close, his nose brushing against yours. he felt his cheeks and the tips of his ears become warm as you let him take the lead this time, not knowing if he should look at your eyes or your lips. yet, he presses forward, finally catching your lips with his. his tongue naturally finds its way into your mouth as he pulls you by your waist into his lap. he wants to be like todoroki and ask if he’s doing okay, but the soft moans against his lips are just enough.

dabi takes his sweet time to tease you as much as he can when he’s in the mood to have you melt under him. he likes to start by getting his lips as close to yours as possible but never let them fully touch. that definitely annoys you but nothing bothers you more than when you’re leaning into him with your eyes closed and he’ll just pull back completely, making you kiss the air. he loves it mostly because of how you get a little rougher with him when you grip his shirt or his jacket to pull him back into you and finally get him to kiss you. and you can’t deny that you like when he wraps his hand around your throat as his tongue plunges into your mouth, making you moan as you suck on it. his favorite thing to do though is to pin you down, his hands traveling up your arms and over your wrists to fill the empty slots between your fingers with his as he begins to kiss over your jaw and neck, the warmth spreading all over your body.

welcome back to bnha night! let’s hear some requests..

[storiesforallfandoms]

small world ~ corpse husband

word count: 2053

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Corpse x fem reader where reader an corpse are both streamers and they meet each other for the first time and realize they used to know each other as kids? I know Corpse has said that he didn’t have many friends when he was younger so maybe have it where reader was someone that was really nice to him? Sorry for the long request and thank you if you do it! 😊🖤”

description: he never would’ve thought that the new addition to their friend group would be someone from his past

pairing: corpse husband x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Hey Corpse,” Karl said. Corpse hummed in response, focused on the drawing he was doing for their Jackbox game. “(Y/N) is also from San Diego. Do you know her?”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Karl, San Diego is pretty big. We’re not bound to know one another. Besides, just because he lives here doesn’t mean he grew up here.”

“I did grow up in San Diego actually,” Corpse said. “I don’t think we would’ve known each other though. Even if we happened to be in the same area, I didn’t talk to many people and I dropped out in the seventh grade.”

“I was, regrettably, popular in school,” (Y/N) added.

“Regrettably?” Karl asked.

“Yeah. Looking back, I hated being popular. I hated it when I was popular even. My friends were mega jerks and made fun of everyone, even me sometimes. I would try and make them be nice but they just let the popularity go to their heads. I haven’t spoken to any of them since we graduated. There was this sort of outcast in middle school I used to have a crush on. I tried to be friends with him, but he preferred to keep to himself. I always wished I had been friends with him because I feel like I would’ve been so much happier. I never saw him again either. I wonder whatever happened to him.”

Something about her story triggered a memory in Corpse. The year before he dropped out, there was a girl in is class who was always nice to him and tried to talk to him. He brushed it off as another way he was being made fun of. When it kept up, though, he realized she was likely being genuine. He still kept his distance, but he found himself gaining some feelings for her as well. When he dropped out, he never heard from her again.

I wonder where she is now, Corpse thought to himself. Man, what was her name?

Corpse accidentally gasped, drawing the attention of everyone in the Discord call.

“You good Corpse?” George asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Corpse responded. “Just uh...just realized I fucked up my idea a bit. No big deal, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

The game started prompting for everyone to show what they had created. Taking the opportunity of not having to speak, Corpse went to Google (Y/N)’s YouTube channel. She had come into the game as a friend of Karl’s and Corpse hadn’t heard of her channel, but now somethings were starting to click together.

The first thing that popped up with the top Google Image for (Y/N)’s channel name. It was a beautiful girl laying in a garden of flowers with a wide smile on her face. Corpse sucked in a breath as he realized that the girl in the picture looked familiar.

“Corpse,” came Karl’s voice, snapping Corpse out of his trance. “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry,” Corpse said. “I was distracted.”

The rest of the stream Corpse felt like he was in a daze. He continued to play the games and forced out laughs when he realized someone was making a joke. Every time (Y/N) spoke, he felt his heart flutter with excitement. He couldn’t believe that after all these years he had finally been reunited with her. And what was better was that she had actually admitted to having feelings for him too!

Don’t get too excited, he thought to himself. She said she used to have a crush on you. That was a very long time ago.

He tried not to seem too eager when the stream finally ended. He waited for someone else to leave the call first before he exited out of it himself. He waited another few minutes before messaging (Y/N) directly on Discord.

hey. it was fun playing with you tonight. weird request, but can we voice call maybe? just the two of us?

Corpse didn’t expect her to respond any time soon. It was late in San Diego, like nearly 3am late. Most people were going to bed by now. She had mentioned once during the stream that she was starting to get sleepy. He figured she’d see it in the morning and either call, or just ignore the message.

To his surprise, near seconds later, she was calling him.

“Hey stranger,” she said when he answered. “Long time, no speak. You must’ve missed my voice a lot, huh?”

Corpse chuckled. “Exactly, I really did.”

“Makes sense. I do have the best voice on the internet.” She laughed this time. It sounded like such a perfect sound. “For real though, is everything alright? Why did you want to call?”

How did he even tell her? Hey, so you know that outcast you liked? It was me! Surprise!

No, he couldn’t say that. Maybe she wouldn’t even remember, or maybe she wouldn’t believe him. He had to figure out some way to bring it up.

“I kind of wanted to talk more about your popular school days,” he said, trying to keep his voice light and teasing. “It’s not every day I meet a streamer who’s in my own area code. It would be nice to get to know someone who isn’t like a five hour drive away.”

“Oh!” She seemed excited by this response. Her excitement was almost contagious. “Okay, where should I start? The shitty friends or the shallow popularity?”

Corpse chuckled. “You pick.”

She talked for nearly an hour about her high school experiences with her popular friend group. Despite how much she despised being popular, (Y/N) still spoke with a light tone in her voice. She tried to bypass a lot of the more negative details and speak only of the good experiences she went though, which was nice to hear.

Corpse nearly jumped with excitement when she began to talk about middle school unprompted.

“It really was the last good years I had in school,” she admitted. “All my friends, the ones who went on to be super popular with me, they were nice then. Annoying, but all middle schoolers are. We didn’t care about popularity or social rankings. We were just...we were just kids. We didn’t even really know the difference between ‘losers’ and ‘popular’, which was why it was so easy for me to talk to that guy that I liked at the time. My friends weren’t mocking me for having feelings for an outcast.”

“You said you never saw that guy again,” Corpse said. “Do you know what happened to him?”

She sighed heavily. “No, I don’t. He just stopped showing up before we hit high school. I thought he moved, but I knew his mom and I saw her around everywhere. I don’t even remember his name anymore to look him up. Wherever he is, though, I hope he’s doing better. Even if they weren’t sucked completely into their popularity at the time, my friends and the other kids were still awful to him.”

“I feel that,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly the most liked kid in school. Before I dropped out I didn’t even have any friends.”

“That’s awful.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I’m not really a friendly person I don’t think. I’ve worked on it since that time, but the thought of trying to maintain a social relationship still gives me anxiety from time to time. There was one girl who tried to be friends with me the year before I dropped out though. She was nice.”

“What happened to her?”

Corpse smiled to himself. She would figure it out soon, he knew she would.

“I just didn’t hear from her after I dropped out,” he responded. “I guess that’s mainly my fault. I never reached out to her or anything, but I barley knew her name. Just her first time, and she never gave me a number or anything. I couldn’t look her up online. Maybe we just weren’t destined to be together.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you two were just right people, wrong time. Maybe you’ll cross paths again and finally have that opportunity to be friends with her again.”

“Maybe you’ll cross paths with that guy from your middle school, too.”

There was a prolonged silence. Corpse wondered if (Y/N) was starting to put the pieces together. He could barley even hear her breathe. The longer she went, the more worried he was becoming. He was about to say something when she finally spoke again.

“I made him a Valentine,” she said, her voice soft. “Special handmade one. He was the only one I gave it to. It had some really badly written, sappy poem in it. I watched him open it and...I really think he got emotional while reading it. Of course, he’d never tell anyone that.”

Corpse had gotten emotional over the Valentine (Y/N) had given him. It was the first real Valentine he had ever gotten. It wasn’t one of the generic ones that everyone gave out to every classmate so no one felt excluded. It was made from the heart, and that fact alone touched his. Like (Y/N) said, though, he didn’t let anyone know how emotional he had gotten. It would’ve just been more mental ammo for them to use to bully him.

He quickly got up from his chair, racing to his room where he had his box of memories shoved in his closet. It was little things from throughout his life that he kept in a shoebox. Whenever he felt particularly down or depressed, he would open the shoebox and look at all the things that made him smile.

At the very top of the box was (Y/N)’s Valentine.

He went back to his computer and took a picture of the Valentine using his phone.

“That sounds really nice,” he said as he went into the Discord app on his voice. “It must’ve meant a lot to him that you put so much time and effort into a handmade gift.”

“I don’t know if it did. I never got to ask him what his reaction was.”

“Oh, I’d bet anything he was happy.”

He sent the picture through Discord and waited for (Y/N) to open it. The silence between them felt deafening. The seconds felt like they had slowed to hours. He wondered what (Y/N)’s reaction would be. Maybe she’d be weirded out by the fact that Corpse kept the Valentine, or by the fact that Corpse was the middle school crush in general.

What if she’s upset that this is who I am now? he asked himself. What if her crush was just a middle school thing, and the moment you dropped out she moved on?

“I knew it.”

Corpse couldn’t help the smile on his face when he heard the slight excitement in (Y/N)’s voice.

“I knew it was you!” she continued. “Well, I didn’t know know, but when you asked me to call you I had a bit of a suspicion. I can’t believe it...it’s actually you!”

“It is me,” he confirmed. “And it’s you.”

“Small world we live in, huh?”

“Yeah, small world.” Do you still like me? Did you ever stop? Do you know that your kindness stuck with me for so long?

The silence returned. Corpse was starting to get sick of it, but he didn’t know how to fill the void between them. When he heard her yawn, he realized how late it had gotten. “I’ll let you go, you sound tired.”

“We just had this breakthrough and you’re asking me to sleep?!”

Corpse chuckled. “You have to sleep eventually, (Y/N). It’s like 3:30am, normal people sleep at this hour.”

“I am offended you would think I’m anywhere near normal.” She yawned again, cutting off her short lived rant. “But you’re right, I am tired. Listen...promise me you’ll answer when I call tomorrow. I...I’d really like to catch up. Maybe...to pick up where we left off.”

“Okay,” Corpse said, then realized that wasn’t really a response. “I promise. I’ll be waiting by the phone the moment I open my peepers.”

(Y/N) giggled. “I’ll be sure to call you the moment I open mine.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Sleep tight.”

“Goodnight Corpse underscore Husband.”

kind of a bad ending, but i wasn’t really sure where else to go with it as i wrote it. sorry! :(