#No beach pictures because I like not crying at my phone screen

[bitten-button]

Nanamin time!!

(tumblr image compression is probably doing it's thing so click for better quality ig)

[sugar-omi]

no bc the breakup anon is giving me ideas. Like imagine that step 3 moment argument (the one with terri and miranda) was one of the many fights you and cove had (some wayy worse). Then one day you've had enough and dump his ass at the poppy field :(. I can totally imagine being on his knees, crying and barely getting his words out. "Please don't leave too," is what he's giving if ykwim. After all you were his first friend after his parents divorce. Very much a waterfall for the next 3 weeks. Doesn't go to the beach, pretzel stall, aquarium, he's too busy bawling his eyes. Cliff's just standing at the door hearing his poor bby cry his heart out lol. Pretty sure Cove becomes a hermit. Omg don't even get me started abt if you accidentally run into each other. Right after the break up, he'll def try to talk to you, trying to talk things over. "Cove, we're over." "But I lov-" "Yeah no <//3" After awhile he'll just freeze up at the sight of you. lol i would type more but my fingers are tiredddddd

jfc. ""please don't leave me too"" would so be his reaction.

wouldn't be surprised if he said he needed you. because he does! he thinks he does. he believes he needs you.

you've been by his side so faithfully for the last 10 years. partially forced because of your houses being just mere feet from each other, but you still pulled toward each other like magnets.

his heart has been yours since day 1. and he thought he had yours. you fought, but who doesnt? you can't just call it quits after one argument, the argument didn't even make sense! you were right! he shouldn't have been so mad, terri and miranda can handle their issues on their own! you were right, he was too sensitive to the situation. so just come back! he won't overreact next time so just.. jus come back. he needs you. he doesn't know what to do without you...

please don't look at him like that, don't tell him he doesn't need you. don't say that stuff.

you've been there for every moment of his life since he was 8 years old. there's hardly been a moment you weren't together. you're in nearly every single picture with him.

even his graduation photos. you're in them, right beside him, or in the background. or christmas photos, you're right there, smiling that sweet smile as he cries over the sweet gift you got him that year.

you're everywhere. his room has pictures of you, his phone filled with your image, and his lock screen is of you. your scent is on his clothes, there's things of yours left in his room. gifts from you.

even if every piece of evidence of you was stripped away, he can't close his eyes without seeing you.

he knows he sounds crazy, probably looks crazier. maybe it's a trauma bond. call it whatever you want. it doesn't change the fact he needs you, doesn't change the fact that he's still yours.

even when you ignore him in the grocery store. even when you look away from him in the library. even when you quiet down when you make eye contact through the window of the Chinese restaurant..

even when his calls go straight to voicemail. even when your window is tightly locked. even when your sister tells him to leave you alone, a look of sympathy thick on her face...

he's still yours. he's so helplessly yours.

[renaiswriting]

Sip of love (part 4)

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol/ Reader

Summary: Despite the fact that your family business was running a magic teahouse with tea that was able to make your deepest and most impossible wish come true, you never thought you would find love on a random Wednesday.

Warnings: Mentions of having issues with money.

Word count: 2.4k

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Seungcheol: Is this jacket alright?

Seungcheol: Or do I look like I'm going to church?

 

Seungcheol has been texting you for fashion advice and tips for his date. When you agreed to give him your number, you never thought you were going to stay until past midnight to talk about fishing with him.

 

But you kind of preferred that to texting about his date.

 

They had been going on dates for the last week. They have gone to almost all the ideal dates in the town. They had a picnic at the park, went to see the stars at night on the beach, went on walks in the forest, etc.And they were all your ideas that you were providing Seungcheol to help him succeed on his dates.

"(y/n), stop using that phone and go to table two; they have been waiting forever now." Your father nags at you.

This has been the fourth time your father has needed to stop doing what he was doing to remind you to do your job. If you were still thirteen years old, your phone would have been locked down at this point.

If he needed to go out of his way to tell you once again to do your job properly, you would most likely be kicked out of your house.

Well, that was an exaggeration of what would happen, but still. You would be in lots of trouble.

"Sorry, sorry." You apologized, rushing to the table your father had indicated.

By the time you were back with the order, you had received another three texts from Seungcheol.

 

Seungcheol: What do you think?

Seungcheol: [picture attached]

Seungcheol: [picture attached]

 

The first picture was a mirror image of his outfit; he was wearing a white plain shirt, a blue jean jacket, and black jeans. His shoulders looked so wide in that outfit.

 

The second one was a selfie. You almost dropped the glass of water you were about to drink. His black hair was slightly curly, falling right above his eyes. His lips were pushing into a cool pout, and one of his eyes was closed, winking.

 

His lips were definitely redder than usual. And from this angle, they looked fuller. Even though his lips were naturally full.

"Are you even listening to me right now?" Your mother's voice brought you back to your surroundings. She had his hands on his hips, looking at you annoyed. "I've been talking to you for the past five minutes, and you have done anything that I told you to do. I literally went to the front, talked to your dad, went to the toilet, welcomed some customers, and came back, and you haven't made the tea that I told you! It literally takes two minutes at most. What is going on with you today?"

 

You blocked your phone, deciding that it would be best to just continue your conversation with Seungcheol later. His date wasn't set for another two hours, and you surely would have had a break before that happened.

 

"I'm sorry, I don't know where my mind is today. What tea do you need me to make?"

 

"I'll make it myself; you go and welcome the new customers; your father will be back in a couple of minutes; he had to go and help Old Grumps with his car.

Old Grumps was the town's old doctor. He was reaching his nineties, and the poor man could barely walk without his back crying for help.

 

He had saved your father's dad's life more than once until his life came to an end because of his old age. Old Grumps did help your grandma with food or medicines once she was a widow.

The screen of your phone lit up with a new text from Seungcheol.

 

"And this stays here." Your mother indicated that she was taking your phone and hiding it in your pockets. "I'll give it back once your shift ends." She silenced your protests, taking you from your shoulders and turning your body in the direction of the door.

 

"Alright, alright, I got it."

 

You loved being there; you really do. But sometimes, having to constantly deal with people just drains you of all your energies.

 

By the time you had served your eleventh tea, you were about to cry.

 

You would pay whatever you had to pay if that meant being alone for two minutes.

 

And the worst part was that if your dad didn't come back in the next seven minutes, you would be unable to use your break.

 

In a way, you felt like you kind of deserved it. Ever since you had accepted helping Seungcheol with that fishing lesson, it had become a weekly activity for the two of you, and more times than not, you found yourself in the middle of the lake with Seungcheol than in the teahouse.

 

Your father wasn't saying anything directly to your face, but he was always kind of teasing you.

 

After all, you liked to go on the lake or go fishing here and there, but never in your life had it been this constant.

"Thank you for coming to our teahouse. Have a nice day." You forced a smile to hide how exhausted you were feeling.

 

The doorbell rang, and you didn't do a good job hiding your frustrated sigh.

 

"One says you are the best teahouse in the town, and suddenly they welcome you like this."

 

"Fuck off." You greeted Seungcheol, moving behind the cash machine, when you saw a family of four coming your way to pay for their tea. "What are you doing here?"

 

Seungcheol shrugged, taking a seat in front of you. "I was bored, so i thought to come and visit you. You would have known it if you checked your phone." He annoyed you. "But I guess you're working, so you're excused for now."

 

"As soon as my shift ends, I'll block you." You threatened him.

 

He rolled his eyes, laughing at you. He knew that was such an empty thread because, since the first text, you have been answering him within minutes.

 

"So? What do you think?" He asked you, raising his arms for you to check his outfit. In person, it looked way better than in the pictures.

 

"It looks nice." You nodded, getting closer to feel the jacket material. "It isn't really thick."

 

Seungcheol shook his head. "I'm counting on good and nice summer weather tonight, because otherwise you'll have to deal with a sick me tomorrow."

 

"You'll scare all the fish away with your sneezes!" You protested. "Just go and change your jacket before your date; you still have time, don't you?"

 

"But this is the one that looks good with the rest of my outfit. You helped me choose it; you can't tell me it doesn't look nice now."

 

"Fine, get sick or whatever. I don't care."

 

Seungcheol pouted, taking one of the candies from the bowl next to the cash machine.

 

"Where are you guys going anyway?"

 

"She proposed to go to a restaurant, but I checked the menu online and, "Seungcheol titled his head, "the prices are quite..."

 

"Oh, I know exactly which one you're talking about. I think I only went there once, and I've lived here my whole life."

"Is the food worth my monthly salary?"

 

"I can't remember; I think I was like seven when I went there. Probably not, though."

 

"These dates will leave me in bankruptcy." Seungcheol cried. "Like, she's fun and all that, but I don't think I'll be able to continue them if I want to pay rent."

 

You frowned. "Then why don't you tell her that you can't pay for it?"

 

"Haven't you seen the car she drives? It's clear she comes from a wealthy family. Those prices are probably nothing for her."

 

"Then why don't you ask her to pay? I mean, if it is seriously not that much for her and she is enjoying spending time with you, then why would she have a problem paying for a date? Who paid for the last one?"

 

"I did," Seungcheol replied.

 

"Alright, and what about the date before that one?"

 

"Me." Seungcheol mumbled.

 

"And the one before that one?" You asked, guessing the answer.

 

"i did."

 

"Seungcheol!" You hissed at him. "Dude, you have gone on more dates in a year than I have in my whole life. Give your wallet a rest."

"We haven't gone on that many dates." He defended himself behind his hands, as he was currently hiding his face behind them. His voice was muffled, but you could still hear the cry for help coming from your friend's soul and wallet.

 

"Still." You insisted. "You have three options: you tell her you can't go unless she pays, you propose another date instead of that restaurant, or you cancel the date."

 

"Or I can go, and then you can let me live out of tea for the rest of the month." He pleaded.

 

"I'm not giving you free tea for that long!" You complained.

 

"So you'll let me starve to death then?"

 

"Who's going to starve you to death?" A deep voice asked behind Seungcheol. Your father was carrying a brown bag with what seemed to be food inside. Your stomach growled at the sight of your favorite chocolate cookies. "Old Grumps gave me these." He commented, dropping the bag on one of the chairs behind the cash machine.

 

"Seungcheol is choosing to starve himself because of a girl and wants me to pay for it." You protested, beating Seungcheol and telling your dad what was happening.

"That's not true!"

 

"It is, though." You picked your tongue at him. "Can you tell Seungcheol a date will never be worth starving, please?" You asked your dad.

 

"Where is this date?" Your dad asked, amused.

 

"It's at the Lockhearts' restaurant." You replied when Seungcheol looked at you, all lost and confused.

 

Your father whistled surprised. "Good luck; I hope you can find a bug in your plate so you can eat without having to pay."

 

Seungcheol let his head hit the wooden table, crying. "I'm screwed, aren't I?"

 

"Just tell her you can't pay that." You rolled your eyes. "She has to understand that not everybody can pay a four-digit price for a salad."

 

"I can't! She won't accept going out with me again if I tell her that."

 

"Seungcheol, how do you plan that future relationship to go if you can tell her something as simple as that?"

 

"Why don't you tell her to come here instead?" Your father asked, "And don't worry, the tea is in the house."

 

"Should I tell her to cancel the reservation, then?" Seungcheol asked, unsure.

 

"Why don't you tell her here? Tell her your situation, and if she understands, then you both can proceed with the date at the restaurant." You proposed.

 

"And if she doesn't?"

 

"Then you both don't go."

 

"You suck at comforting people." Seungcheol pouted but took his phone from his jacket nonetheless, typing on it and checking it for another five minutes before sending it.

•°•

Seungcheol's back was straight against the wall behind him. He was holding the mug like he was holding on for dear life.

His ears were pink, going on red, and he was chuckling at every single word the woman in front of him said.

If you had to describe the scene in front of you, the only word to describe everything at once would probably be pathetic.

You wanted to yell at Seungcheol to stand up because he was like a lost puppy.

Seungcheol picked up the mug and took another sip. You have been counting, and this is his fourth time in just two minutes.

Was this how their dates always went?

The woman has been talking nonstop, and you haven't even seen Seungcheol open his mouth to say anything that wasn't about laughing or drinking tea.

You didn't get it.

The tea was supposedly to give him good luck with love, but this didn't seem like the big love Seungcheol was supposed to experience.

Were the teas not working?

That was impossible.

They always worked.

You kept receiving updates on the people who went to your family's teahouse. So, the teas were working for everybody.

So why was Seungcheol an exception?

"How's the date going?" Your father asked you, coming back from the kitchen.

"Awful." You replied shortly; you were still watching them.

"Really? Seungcheol seems to be having a good time."

"He looks like he's two seconds away from peeing himself."

Your father laughed loudly at this, gaining attention from Seungcheol, who sent them a look that screamed, "Help me."

Your father gave him a thumbs up, and you mouthed, "Say something."

Almost instantly, you saw Seungcheol telling her something.

"That's how it is sometimes." Your father shook his head, a smile still on his face.

"Does he look like he is, you know?" You pointed at them with your chin. "It looks more like a monologue than a date."

"Well, if he is alright with that, then..."

"But that's not how the tea works!" You protested. "He is supposed to find his true love, isn't it? Then why is he?"

"The tea you gave him is for him to find his perfect match, and who knows? Maybe this is what Seungcheol looks for in a relationship." Your father shrugged. Going to attend the other couple that was leaving. Officially, Seungcheol and the woman were the last customers in the teahouse.

"I almost forgot to tell you, Old Grumps invited us for dinner tonight, so once Seungcheol finishes his date, we close and go to his house."

You nodded, your eyes still fixed on the date happening in front of you.

You could still see Seungcheol's sweaty hands moving from the mug to the chocolate cake they were sharing and back to the mug.

"I think they need a refill of that tea," you mumbled to your father.

Seungcheol's eyes captured your body's movement before you reached their table.

"May I refill your tea?" You asked in what you hoped was a warm voice. Seungcheol raised his eyebrows. He had been at this point over twenty times at the teahouse, and you had not even once offered a refill.

His eyes went to the woman sitting in front of him, silently asking what she wanted to do.

"I think we're fine." The woman replied to you. "We should get going to that restaurant soon or we will lose our reservation."

"Oh yeah, about that, I um--" Seungcheol started. His eyes glanced at you for a microsecond, and you couldn't understand if he was asking for your help or if he wanted you to leave them alone.

"Could you give us a moment?" The woman asked you.

"Sure, if you need anything, let me know."

Your father gave you a know-it-all look when you went back to stand right next to him.

 

You still tried to pick up what Seungcheol was saying and what the woman replied to him, but they weren't speaking loud enough.

 

However, you did hear the chair moving and the woman walking towards the door.

 

"The tea was delicious; thank you. Goodnight." She spoke to your father and you before closing the door and leaving the place.

 

Seungcheol stood up, sighing, and walked to the two of you.

 

"So how did it go?" Your father asked, bringing the plate with fresh chocolate chip cookies to him.

 

"Not that good, but she did mention another date someday, so I guess it wasn't that bad after all."

 

"Let her think about it; maybe you gave him a lot to process. Give her some days to think before texting her." Your father advised him. He gave him a pat on the shoulder, seeing how disappointed Seungcheol looked. "Tell you what, you will be coming with us tonight to an old family friend's house for dinner. How does that sound?

 

Seungcheol's eyes shifted to you.

 

"Old Grumps' have the best pasta in the whole world, so unless you're busy tonight..."

 

"I'm not," he replied. "Pasta sounds perfect."

[tammyjackson50-blog]

- Picnic with my best friend ___________________

( Gif made by @luna-munson83 !)

Summary: You went on a chill picnic with your best friend Eddie, everything was going just fine until..

1/2

Last part ->

We sat on the mat in the park in the field on the green grass, the weather was pleasant, and the air felt clean and wonderful.

He sat next to me while I had my attention on a group of friends who were not far away from us, they had been singing songs together, it's nice to see people having fun.

I noticed him doing something out of the corner of my eye, and when I looked at what he was doing, I noticed that he had his phone leaning against his water bottle, he clicked on the option to make a video , so I moved away from the camera because I didn't want to be seen, but he suddenly grabbed me back toward him, " You're not going anywhere, I want you to be in the video" he said, not looking at me.

" Why are you recording a video? "

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

" Excuse me, are you the only one who can take pictures and record videos and make memories? besides I want you to be part of my memories "

I smiled a little, not wanting to show how much that sentence gave me butterflies in my stomach.

" If you insist dear sir, have fun. " I looked at the camera and stuck my tongue out, he looked at me through the screen of the phone, smiled, and said, " Thank you very much, dear madam. "

-------------------

The sun began to set after a while. He was eating the chips he bought earlier today when he said, " In a few minutes, we will be heading towards the beach."

" No problem ".

The group started packing things up, probably about to leave.

they were still singing, so I kept staring at them, entertained, as they sang some beautiful song.

I started humming the words of the song with them, I must have caught his attention, he looked at me and only after a few moments I felt it, I got goosebumps, I looked at the screen of his phone to see if I was right and yes, I was right, I looked back at him without trying to smile and asked " what are you looking at ? "

"On you of course " He responded, and for a brief moment I wasn't sure how to respond, but I shrugged it off because I knew he was playing. "Oh yeah sure, I'm a superstar, so people are always staring at me." he grinned and said " Nah,it's not like that ,It's just that seeing an alien singing songs is not something you get to see every day." I looked at him with a fake smile "ha ha ha how funny you are today " he didn't stop laughing, he laugh like it was the best joke that he had ever said, maybe for some people it could be annoying, but I really didn't care , because his laugh... he has a funny, idiotic, and cute laugh, and I didn't even start talking about his smile.

He has a smile that can make all of the pain you have disappear, just seeing him smile makes me smile, and those eyes......

I can sink into them...

"I hope that you're not going to cry, I just don't have any toilet paper to wipe your tears." I hit him on the shoulder "shut up idiot" I laughed with him as I turned to face the group that was already leaving while their music was still playing.

" Y/n, I...um " I was waiting for him to finish what he was saying while maintaining my attention on the group. " you are what? Stupid? Yes, I agree " suddenly it became quiet,he didn't say anything after that.

I looked at him, hoping he wasn't offended, even though we tease each other all the time, so there's no reason for that. right?

"Are you all right?" I asked, confused by the silence, he wasn't responding to my question, so I glanced in the direction his gaze was going and noticed that he was playing with his rings.

His curly hair hid his face a little,So I couldn't see him.

" Eddie ? "

Fan fact: I wrote this about someone that I used to like, he drove to my city to meet me, and we went to some beautiful park and we were enjoying our time togther, yeah stuff wern't excactly as I wrote in the ff , but.... lets say that we did had our moments....but heck we are not even talking anymore lol.

anyways I liked the way I wrote this so I changed it a bit and made it a fanfic I guess @-@

[heroes-of-olympus-next-gen]

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Annabeth ended up falling asleep in the same bed with Rachel. She woke up before everyone else. She started twisting her engagement ring and thought that in a few hours she was going to get married to Percy. Damn it, she loved him too much. She pressed her phone screen and saw that it was only 5:30 am. But after sleeping next to Percy who woke at 5 to practise and go to the gym, her body wasn’t used to extra sleep time. She smiled at her lock screen; it was the picture she had taken with Percy after he had finished his first swimming competition in college (in which he had won 7 medals and broke three records).

She also had a picture with them at the Olympics where he had his 4 medals around his neck, but she loved her current lock screen even more. There was something so innocent about the two of them in college that meant too much to her. Just a year after they had defeated Gaea and they were terrified to leave each other. 4 years later, Percy was going back to the Olympics, and she had a well paying job as an architect while she was working on her Doctorate in Columbia. And most importantly they were getting married.

The sound of a text message made her lose her train of thought. She expected a good morning text from Percy, but she was surprised by one coming from Sally.

Sally: I’m sorry about not being able to talk to you last night. I was hoping that you had a few minutes before the ceremony so that the two of us could talk. Also, sorry for texting you this early, but I wanted to make sure you got the message early on.

Annabeth immediately responded to her

Annabeth: Whenever you have the time. If you don’t have anything to do, we can have early walk down the beach.

Sally: I hope I didn’t wake you up.

Sally: I’ll be by your room in 15 minutes.

Annabeth: Alright, I’ll be waiting for you.

Annabeth got out of bed and went quietly to the bathroom. After washing her face and putting her hair in a messy bun, she put some sweats and a t-shirt she was positive was Percy’s before making her way outside. Right on time, Sally showed up with two cups of coffee.

“Again, I’m sorry for texting you so early.” Sally excused herself as they got outside.

“Don’t worry. I was already awake.” Annabeth smiled. “You can text me whenever you want. That’s what families do, isn’t it?”

Annabeth considered Sally Jackson her mother more than Athena despite what Biology had to say. That woman had taken her in her house and taught her what a family was supposed to be like.

“It is, my darling girl.” Sally smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit nervous, but I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”

“Your wedding is going to be exactly as you wished it to be. You and Percy are incredibly lucky.” Sally said.

“Sally-“ Annabeth wanted to deny, but she wouldn’t let her.

“You’re lucky because you managed to survive all the things that were imposed to you and through all this chaos found each other. So, yes. To my eyes you are incredibly lucky. And I’m even luckier to gain a daughter like you.” Sally said and held Annabeth’s hands. Annabeth felt her eyes watering. Her words meant a lot to her, even though she could never fully grasp her feelings about her.

“Sally, thank you for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, honey.”

Annabeth was definitely going to cry. “Thank you for taking me in your house and thank you for raising Percy to be the man he is today.”

“Oh, Annabeth!” Sally pulled her in a tight hug, Annabeth didn’t even know she needed. “I love you so much, sweetheart. My son is the lucky one for founding someone so amazing as you.” As she stopped hugging her, she brushed her tears away. “We aren’t going to cry today. Today is a happy day, and we’re going to keep it that way.”

“These are happy tears.” Annabeth laughed as she wiped them away.

“That wasn’t all I wanted to talk to you about. I have a present for you.” Sally said as she presented Annabeth a velvet pouch. “It used to be my mother’s and it’s one of the last things of her that I have. Estelle was named after her.”

Annabeth was so touched by the act, “Sally no, Estelle should have it.”

“I have kept other things for Estelle to have. This one is for you.” Sally reassured her.

She opened the pouch, and she took in her hands a gold chained bracelet with sapphires and emeralds. She felt her eyes watering again. Sally unclasped it and helped her put it on. “They are real, you know. It was my father’s gift to my mother on their wedding. My uncle was positive that it belonged to my father’s mother. And now it’s all yours.” She smiled softly

“It’s beautiful. Sally, I can’t thank you enough. I promise I’m going to look after it.” Annabeth promised.

“We should head back now. Rachel will be looking for you.” Sally said. After they hugged goodbye, Annabeth entered the wedding suite which was filled with her friends as the caterers had brought breakfast.

“Found her!” Piper shouted as she noticed Annabeth entering. “We thought you and Percy ran away to elope.” Then her eyes fell on the bracelet, “The bracelet is beautiful. Where did you find it?”

“Sally gave it to me. It used to be her mother’s.” Annabeth mentioned.

“That’s so sweet and thoughtful. You really have the best mother-in-law.”

“I won the jackpot.” Annabeth smiled.

After they had a quick breakfast, the makeup artist and hair stylist arrived, and everyone started getting ready. “Nico just texted me.” Rachel said as she sat in the chair next to Annabeth’s. “Will is here with one of their wedding gifts. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.” She said. “You should be honoured Will dropped his studying to grace you with his presence.” Rachel joked. It was no secret that after Will started college at 16, he wasn’t going to let anything get in his way. And Annabeth highly appreciated that as she was the same way. It did mean a lot to her that he was willing to sacrifice two days to come to their wedding.

“What does he mean wedding gifts?”

“You’re going to find out.” Rachel said not able to contain her excitement.

“You know what it is, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. And you’re going to lose your shit.” She reassured her.

They were officially an hour away from their wedding. Annabeth couldn’t wait. She had put on her wedding dress. It was a white lace mermaid gown. It was open at the back, and it was filled tiny diamonds. She had kept her make-up minimal and let the hairstylist do whatever she wanted with her hair as she didn’t have any preferences. She ended up doing a half up and down style and curling more her hair.

After she was done getting ready, Grover came inside the room. "You look amazing. I can’t believe you and Percy are getting married" he smiled.

“Me neither.” Annabeth exclaimed. “Thank you for coming today. It means a lot to me and a whole lot more to Percy.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Grover hugged her.

“How is the groom doing?” Rachel asked.

“He is waiting for his bride.”

“Let’s keep him waiting for a few more minutes.” Evelyn said.

“Wow, Annabeth. You’re beautiful.” Frederick said as he saw his daughter all dressed up in her wedding dress.

Annabeth had decided to let Frederick walk her down the aisle as they wanted Chiron to officiate their wedding. She also believed that they were in the phase where he could be there for her as long as she would let him. Her psychologist had encouraged her to open up more to him as he didn’t have any malicious intentions and he was working on their relationship.

“How about we let Annabeth have a moment with her dad, until we all get downstairs?” Piper suggested and Annabeth gave her a grateful look. Soon enough the room was empty.

“I’m proud of you, Annabeth.” Frederick said tenderly. “And I’m thankful that you gave me the chance to be next to you at your wedding. It means the world to me.”

“I’m glad we could work on our differences.” Annabeth replied. “You proved that actions speak louder than words. You made it possible for you to be here today.” She noted.

Frederick held her close, and Annabeth couldn’t deny that it felt good. Her five-year-old self would be sobbing with relief. Her 13-year-old self would be proud for daring to trust this man again. And her 17-year-old self would have a huge relieved from her shoulders as she had healed their relationship. “I’m sorry for everything, sweetheart. I wish I could turn back time and make it right to you.”

“Then, I wouldn’t be who I am today.” She exclaimed. “I wouldn’t change anything, dad. We both needed space and time.”

“I want you to know that by the end of the summer, Helen and I will be divorced. And I’ll move back at the east coast. Probably back to Boston.”

“Dad-“

“I should have done it a long time ago. And now that the boys are old enough I’ll do it.”

“Are you doing it for yourself?” She asked.

“Yes, I need this, Annabeth.”

“Then, I’m 100% on your side.” She smiled.

“Thank you. Now, less talking about me and more about you. We should head downstairs. Percy is waiting for you.”

Percy was waiting for the coordinator or Rachel or anyone really to give him the thumbs up to go at the end of the aisle. He was trying to fix his bow tied which seemed crooked to him. He had kicked everyone outside as he was trying to fully comprehend that in 10 minutes he was going to get married to Annabeth. He was ready to give up on the bow tie when he noticed that Sally was staring at him. “Need any help?” She asked.

“Maybe.” Percy replied smiling. Sally came closer and helped him tie it. He was trying to contain his emotions, but looking at his mum helping him with watery eyes wasn’t doing him any favours.

“Here. You’re all set.” Sally said as she straightened his tux. “I’m so proud of you, Percy. How far you’ve come.” Percy noticed a tear rolling on her cheek.

“Mum, don’t cry, please.”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed trying to compose herself. “It’s just ever since I found out I was pregnant the only thought in my mind was how to make everything right for my sweet baby boy who didn’t do a single thing wrong in his life. And watching you all grown up, ready to get married makes me feel relieved. I wasn’t able to give you the life you deserved and still, you’re standing here and I’m so immensely proud of you.”

“You did an excellent job raising me. You couldn’t have done it any better. You’re a saint, mum. You’re the real hero around here. You’re my hero. And I knew it then and I know it now, that I have the best mum in the world.” Percy said and hugged her. “I can never thank you enough for everything.”

“I’m your mum. You aren’t supposed to thank me.”

“Believe me, I have to.” He reassured her.

Grover cleared his throat. “They’re ready for us.” He smiled.

“Let’s get this wedding started then.” Percy replied and sorted the room with Sally next to him.

"I'm pumped!" Connor said as Percy walked to the garden with his mum. It was filled with their friends and families. He felt extremely grateful about everything that was happening to him.

The bridal party started walking down the aisle. Estelle -being the flower girl- followed them, and then, oh and then he saw Annabeth. Looking so beautiful, so ethereal like a goddess. If love was a person it would be her. “Do you need a tissue?” Travis whispered him, “You’re full sobbing here.”

Frank patted him on the shoulder “Don’t listen to them, you’re doing great. Eyes on her.” Like he could ever stop staring at her.

By the time she reached the end of the aisle, Percy was really sure he had a stupid grin on his face. “Hey, stranger.” Annabeth said as she stood across from him.

Chiron was staring proudly at the two of them. Kudos to Piper for helping him get the officiating licence. "I have the honour to officiate the wedding of two of my favourite students. When they met 12 years ago, bets started around in camp when they would get together. I was the one who guessed the time they would get together." Some of the guests laughed. "Percy and Annabeth are a couple like no other. You complete each other and love and care about each other in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. Plato said that people once had 4 arms, 4 legs, two faces and two minds. Then, the Gods decided to divide humans as they were too powerful together. The half is searching for its pair in order to feel complete. That’s what soulmates meant in Ancient Greece. That’s for me a perfect way to summarize your relationship. Soulmates, two halves that found each other and feel whole again. As I do not want to bore you, I think it is the time for the bride and the groom to turn to speak." Chiron said. He looked like he was ready to cry.

Annabeth gave her bouquet to Piper and turned to Percy. "Since the day I first met you, when I told you, that you drooled in your sleep, I fell in love with you. I didn’t really know what love was back then, but now I know that that was it. You are the best part of my life. You are not only my soulmate but my best friend and my partner in crime in everything. You are amazing and I prefer to die than live in a world without you. I love you Seaweed brain and from the very first moment together I knew that you would be forever mine. The 8 months you were away from me, I felt so empty and that is when I realized that I could never ever in a million years find someone to settle down with, except for you. You give my life a whole different meaning and I want to grow old more than anything else in this life. I need a lifetime of adventures with you."

Percy was again crying, but he did a great job from keeping his tears from coming out. Annabeth had her way with words. But he had to say his vows, so he took a deep breath and tried to concentrate.

"Annabeth from when you found me half dead in the borders of the camp, I thought you were something more than pretty. You are fun and smart and what I am trying to say is that I love you more than life itself. You’re my oxygen and I can’t breathe without you. I hope you will be mine until the end of our lives. I am so happy that a woman like you accepted to spend the rest of her life with someone like me. There is not a lot for me to say about you, because I do not even know where to begin and where to end. The point is that I love you and I will never stop loving you. I don’t believe I could ever be happier, than today, standing here promising to always love and cherish every moment with you. I always knew I was going to marry you. You were so perfect and even when you hated me, I was so stupidly and irrevocably in love with you. Every time I tell myself that there is no way I’ll love you even more, I find out I can. And I will never be able to stop loving you more and more. I love you Annabeth and I’m always going to."

"By the power given to me by the State of New York, I pronounce you Husband and Wife; you may kiss the bride." Chiron said, and Percy kissed Annabeth. With the same passion, they had when they shared their first kiss. With the same passion Percy was planning on kissing her for the rest of their lives.

[stilemawillow]

MTIJ | Ch.29 Dear Diary, Why Do I Have Feelings?

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 7.9k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will mean some falling and she's afraid of heights r.i.d

Vacations. Something so planned yet at the same time unplanned. Going to the beach was one thing, something unexpected happening as a result of that – another altogether. Vacations were meant to please, excite, aid the successful achievement of relaxation and all sorts of good things, only good things, good things all over. Mountains were fresh air, beautiful landscapes and so so many opportunities to stargaze. Beaches were sand, breeze, cocktails, hot girls in bikinis and seagulls all around. None of that sounded like it could do any harm, no? Of course not. Vacations were meant to create memories and be fun, a break from a dreadful 9-5 routine. So why wasn’t I having fun?

I got it! I got it! Asshole-me piped in an overzealous manner inside my throbbing head. It’s because who you like to think of as our asshole is in this picture with his hand around this blonde bimbo’s bare waist. Bingo. Jackpot. Bullseye. All those pleasant victories in life. A million dollars in cash falling out of a slot in a casino. Somebody winning a poker game. An old lady in a godforsaken village with too much time on her hands getting a check for half a billion. World peace. A child saying its first word, making its parents cry out of happiness. All my overdramatic self and I could do was cheer till my throat hurt. Inwardly, of course. Because you’ll never ever admit you’re jealous, asshole-me remarked. Well, no, but I couldn’t embarrass myself by throwing a tantrum in public either – I was Rolland Raven’s daughter and, in his presence or not, wouldn’t allow disgrace to befall our manipulative family and its name.

I stared at my phone’s screen with pursed lips and fervent eyes. The image my shrunken pupils couldn’t unglue themselves from featured a small beach bar. Palms in the far back, a child on its way to trip in the bottom left corner and a seagull eyeing its inanimate victim in the upper left one. They seemed like good pizza rolls. In the centre, like a Renaissance painting, stood Uncle Nick and Uncle Terry, George Tanner Senior – the bearer of the pizza rolls, my obviously sunburnt father, Natalie, a guy who I guessed was IT based on how dreadfully skinny he was and of course, Levi. The intern was on a small stool with a drink in one hand and a pretty little girl pushed into the other. Her bikini-clad breasts were pressed against his naked chest and her bright smile struck me as immensely fake all the way from New Jersey through the phone I was gazing at. Levi’s twitchy fingers were hesitantly ghosting over her skin, but had I not paid attention to the detail, I would’ve immediately assumed they were pretty close if not straight-up dating.

You’ll wonder what of that wasn’t fun for my pretentious highness and I’ll tell you that maybe it’s the one where my father was the one to send me this picture instead of the intern who I’d been texting for the past two days non-stop. Or maybe the part where the raven-haired asshole hadn’t once mentioned the blondie to his right during those two days. Not wishing to be overdramatic, I kept looking at my phone with a listless expression instead of scowling for being held in the dark about some random chick the intern had met on their vacation, but I could feel my stare growing emptier as my interest in today’s good weather and opportunities to have fun gradually evaporated.

“I ordered the drinks,” Adam said while sitting down across from me. “Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” His voice snapped me out of the trance. I placed my phone face-down on the table. There were no benefits whatsoever to us looking at the stupid picture so there was no use in showing it to the world either. I smiled as a nasty ball of phrases got stuck in the back of my throat. Ignoring it, I tried to be as benevolent as possible considering I had literally nothing to be mad about. Levi was just an intern, just a friend. The girl next to him and their relationship were none of my business. I wasn’t his girlfriend or secretary.

“I’m sure.” I nodded. Adam huffed, tucking a wavy lock of his ebony hair behind his ear and making me sigh on the inside. Usually, I’d make fun of Levi for not sending me the picture himself, tease him about the blonde and feel absolutely nothing because that’s how it’d been between us. We did things and whether the other liked them or not was unimportant because we didn’t feel much for each other. Now, of course, here came this thing – I didn’t want to ask and tease, too fearful of ruining his vacation by repeating all over again past mistakes of shoving my nose in personal matters.

“You don’t look too well,” Adam remarked, icy blue orbs scanning my face. I kept smiling and it might’ve made him uncomfortable enough to dismiss the topic altogether. He didn’t make a second comment on it. My hands played with the silver on my ring finger, cold and reassuring. As if.

The next day, to nobody’s surprise it would seem, my mother took her leave with a bang grand and startling enough to make my eyelids snap open faster than the speed of sound. A grunt left my parted lips and I slapped a hand to my face to use as a comb. My bladder called for release, but my body decided not to function, so I ended up tumbling to the floor and greeting it with a kiss. Not a good start to any day. My eyes teared up and my wrist hurt, and I could feel my left leg was still on the bed, strangled by the sheets. It took me a minute and a few curses to get up and make an appearance in front of the bathroom mirror.

I washed my face and combed my hair, then approached Levi’s room with a nonchalant call of his nickname only to choke on a horrified gasp at the sight of the empty interior. Half-asleep mind going back to the strange dream I’d had, I stared at the dust coating the parquet and the pristine bed covers with vacant eyes. I closed the door slowly, heavy sigh slipping out as I reached the conclusion there’d be no need to make Earl Grey today along with my coffee. It left a bitter taste in my mouth to break a routine like that. Felt weird, too. Weirder even than the fact I’d made both drinks instinctively this Tuesday after they’d already left.

I would’ve taken my phone to the kitchen if it hadn’t been for the disappointingly low battery percentage that forced me to leave it to charge in my room. In five minutes, I was sitting at the marble counter with a steaming coffee in front of me, zoning out and pondering the fractions of my dream I could recollect. My bedroom had been stuffy and the hallway had been glowing with early sunlight. An instinctual turn to the guest room. Empty insides. I’d looked through the wardrobe for his clothes, searched for the books he stacked by the desk, the paperwork he always assembled neatly on top. There had been only dust.

I could recall sitting on the bed and opening the nightstand’s first drawer to find a glistening silver ring inside. Not the one I wore. The one he’d been supposed to wear and had probably thrown out. Then there was my father materialising at the doorstep, telling me to get out, breakfast was ready, my boyfriend was waiting downstairs (not Eren), my lecture was starting in an hour. No intern. He’d left long ago. He’d left long long ago. No trace of him anywhere.

I put down my coffee with a snort, letting the cryptic paranoia win. My feet padded up the stairs to the guest room despite the raw cynicism begging to spill from my mouth. I barged into Levi’s room and opened the wardrobe. It was full of suits and long-sleeved shirts, pants and T-shirts folded neatly and laid at the bottom. Half of his books were stacked in alphabetical order by the desk and there was no paperwork on top of it, but the pedantic color-coordinated arrangement of pens made up for it. I sat on the bed and looked around – the golden glow matched that of my faded dream, but the air was still heavy with Levi’s lavender shampoo and strong cologne. My hand reached for the nightstand. I didn’t know what I was expecting or hoping for, but the theatrical display was cut off by my own coarse laughter. The derision in it was great enough to make my fingers withdraw.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. I’m going fucking crazy. I tumbled sideways onto the pillow and sighed. God, so we finally agree on something! Asshole-me made me scoff. I stayed just long enough to feel the immense need to leave, overborne by the realisation the intern wouldn’t enter and scold me for invading his privacy or question the whereabouts of his morning cup of tea. With all my insolence, I took a brook from the pile by the desk and returned to the kitchen, ready to start the day with some French lessons and a dose of caffeine. I was in the middle of the second chapter, where the main heroine was telling the story of how she’d gotten smitten with her late husband, when I heard my muffled ringtone echo in the empty house. My memory served as a bookmark and I rushed upstairs to answer the call without checking the ID. I expected Adam, Annie, Melinda or even my father, but asshole-me insisted otherwise. Neither of us believed he’d be calling.

“How’s my princess doing at six in the morning? I hope I woke you up.” It was weird. Weird, refreshing and warm somehow. He sounded bored. No other way for it to go. I bit my bottom lip and snorted. I had a role to play here.

“You did, asshole, much like you do every other day.” My white lie probably went unnoticed because he only huffed, satisfied with himself. I faked a grumpy voice while asking: “What are you doing up this early?” It wasn’t curiosity. It was carrying the conversation.

“Making myself a tea and your father – a coffee. He’ll need it after yesterday’s cocktails.” His heavy sigh signalled to me who’d been the responsible babysitter while everybody else had been drinking. Uncle Terry and Nick loved to get carried away. Levi had enough experience with babysitting anyway. I wondered whether he’d tucked any of them into bed and whether they’d been wasted enough to commit atrocities, but asshole-me put the questions to rest by taking the wheel.

“On the topic of cocktails, my caring father didn’t forget to inform me of the White Woman you drowned. Tasty or is blonde not for you?” My back was leaning against the wall as the raven on the other end of the line clicked his tongue in mild annoyance. I imagined his face – sunburnt, scowling and tired. Maybe the lilac crescents would still be visible. If they were, had the pretty blonde noticed?

“Hold back the malice, princess. The cocktail was a Grasshopper, whatever that means, and the girl is an intern that flew in from Germany. Your father probably forgot to tell you that.” I felt the irrational need to roll my eyes so hard they got stuck in the back of my head and saved my all future conversations about this other intern we’d most certainly lead. I attempted, failed and fixed my gaze on the TV.

“Like he forgets to tell me he loves me. Both still seem pretty significant,” I shot out condescendingly, making Levi sigh. 6 a.m. or not, I wouldn’t let go of my demeaning confidence. I paused, thought of the tiredness in his voice and gave a sigh of my own. “Since I don’t want to ruin anything for you this early in the morning, I’m just going to say I hope you’re having fun. Don’t think about work. It’s not what you’re there for.”

“Interesting you should mention work. How’s the job at the supermarket going?” I decided not to take it personally after the conversation we’d led this Monday. I knew at least one passive joke awaited.

“Balanaces out as always. Okay paycheck and a not okay boss.” I shrugged, avoiding the mention of Adam’s name and waiting for my raven-haired friend to slip him into the conversation himself. We hadn’t talked about it properly. Maybe we had to at some point. Or maybe not, I squeaked mentally. A serious talk about Adam and I would result in nothing at all. Worse, likely an argument.

“And your suitor?” It was expected, light-hearted and unbothered as could be. I tried to picture his face but something hindered the image. I concluded the less I reacted, the less he would make such comments, hence why I refrained from sighing or making a sour face at the wall for fear he’d sense.

“Adam’s also fine, thank you for asking. He took me out yesterday,” I informed casually. Then again, I hadn’t meant to. I panicked about it, asshole-me shrugged her shoulders in oblivion and we both anticipated the intern’s reaction, knowing the spoiled princess points might’ve been boosted to a 40/100. Levi, however, did exactly what was expected of him – no more and no less.

“So now I get to call him your boyfriend?” The mocking inquiry didn’t harm my pride, but it made my defences rise. Maybe it was the unreasonable dislike for the word I harboured, still considering it a title only Eren was worthy enough of.

“You’re insufferable. No, you don’t get to call him anything besides his name because we’re not together.” My tone was spiteful, I was shaking my head, struggling not to glare or overreact. The joke didn’t deserve a temper tantrum, much less actual anger. As the mind-reader he was (or simple a good judge of conversations’ quality), Levi sensed my tone and took a risk by diving into unexplored territory.

“Maybe you should be. I don’t think even Leonheardt would blame you if you started dating. In most cases, you need a new guy to forget the old one.” The calming voice over the line I matched to a pair of beautiful narrowed eyes, ashen hues pinned to the floor. The advice towards the end had been strangely soft, almost knowing, as if having been tested, failed, succeeded and acknowledged. My heart clenched but I didn’t let it show.

“Thanks for enlightening me, Sherlock, I hadn’t thought of it that way,” I sassed sarcastically, making the raven sigh. Alongside the sound I imagined a pale hand going up to his hair to brush it away from his face. I moved the phone away from my ear to huff before pursing my lips with a half-hearted glare. “Also, you’re literally the last person I want to hear this from. I could start pushing you into getting with every girl that hits on you, but I don’t because I’m a good friend,” I boasted fakely, making the raven-haired intern snort in mild condescension.

“A best friend, rather. Only a friend wouldn’t comfort me as passionately as you have.” It was an accident, I could tell, but it made my windpipe constrict. My mouth clamped shut in shame so similar to fear it was uncanny. On the one hand, he was clueless how his albeit correct grammar in English added a nuanced subtext to the sentence. On the other hand, he was right. “Sorry. I know you don’t like it when I---” He tried hitting the pause and restarting but it was too late. I’d already turned into a ball of insecurity and I’d rather resent myself than him for it.

“Yes, I don’t. It’s whatever, no need for apologies, asshole. It happens, we slip. If I apologised for every time you didn’t like something I said we wouldn’t be talking at all.” My voice was nonchalant and it spoke of benevolent forgiveness but I could feel my resolve crumble while looking at the wall our rooms shared. A slimy ball of distaste formed in the back of my throat, crawling up to the tip of my tongue when I heard an ecstatic female voice call Levi’s name in the background. I spat the ball out and it hit the phone before dropping in my lap. “Sounds like better company has made an appearance. My highness better go.”

I hung up before he could respond, heart hammering and eyes closing in exhaustion. This wasn’t how the call should’ve gone, but it was inevitable, as with every other conversation we’d led. My shoulders slouched as I tried not to think about the happening at the hotel they were staying over at where the beautiful blonde had called Levi’s name in a way I’d never get the guts to. I remembered the photo and my shoulders tensed. She looked like a supermodel, just shorter. The perfect girl you come across randomly. You pass her on the street and hate yourself for not talking to her, but know you would’ve fumbled it even if you did. You see her in the background of a selfie your best friend sends you from the airport – a stranger that’s gorgeous in and out of the picture. You wonder what her name is. You remember her from time to time, give her without her consent as an example of the fact God has favourites. That type of looker. If attraction overruled duty, I might take second to last spot by the end of this vacation. Then again, why should I care?

“We need to talk.” Annie’s gaze was made of steel and her resolve had chained me to the table before she’d even spoken. My eyes briefly darted up from my phone to observe her somber countenance prior to dipping again in impatience. Levi hadn’t texted me once today after the phone call. I’d been sure he would. Now I was starting to doubt my judgement.

“What about?” The little icons on the screen pissed me off. The lack of notifications pissed me off. Why? I wasn’t sure. The fact I was frustrated pissed me off too. I put the phone on the table face-down. My best friend’s eyes were an icy hue I seldom enjoyed crossing paths with and her arms were folded across her chest, like a strict mother about to scold her child.

“Ackerman.” The surname immediately made me think of Mikasa, which, in turn, brought Eren to mind, but before I could say anything, Annie cut straight to the chase: “Do you like him?” The pronoun made me switch gears, but while I was busy processing, asshole-me took the reigns and spoke instead.

“Excuse me? Do I like him? Annie, have you gone mad?” My tone told the long tale of how offended I was to be asked that. I blinked at the blonde across from me, hoping to have misheard her but it was a petty attempt at avoidance – there was nothing wrong with my hearing and Annie hadn’t stuttered. She rolled her eyes before brushing her bangs behind her ear with a scoff.

“I’m perfectly sane and my question is logical when you think of all that’s happened between you two in the past few months,” she reasoned calmly, almost coldly so, in a manner I recognised as impatient to get this whole topic over with. She crossed her legs and stared at me with a self-assured pout. “Now give me an answer.” The command was imperative enough to mak me bite back whatever I’d planned on saying. Attacking her and dodging the question would prove her point, so I took a deep breath and resorted to the truth. How humiliating.

“… I don’t.” The pause made the blonde quirk a skeptical eyebrow, but maybe it hadn’t been the pause at all – no, it had been the words after it. My gaze locked with hers and my composure didn’t falter once. “I mean it. I thought I did for some time. Even back when Eren and I were together. It was a fear of mine, that I might like him, but I was proven time and time again that it wasn’t like that. It hit me hard around my birthday but…” My eyes dipped to the table as I stopped my hands from impulsitvely reaching to fidget with the pendant of the necklace Levi had given me.

“But?” Annie pushed, gentle and cold, not exactly willing to believe just yet. I understood her. Truly, I did. I’d be the same in her place, but I had the unfortunate luck of being in my own, confused but adamant to give her a satisfactory honest answer. No, I didn’t like Levi. I liked to think I did, but Eren was still on my mind. Levi was the perfect thing to keep him away. I was manipulative and disheartened, needing a way out of the emotional tangle I’d gotten myself into. A pitiful smile crawled over my lips.

“But I can’t like him. I mean, I don’t. I’m not jealous of Petra or Natalie, or his current blondie. I’m sad because I enjoy his attention. I got used to it and when it’s not there, I get frustrated. That hardly translates as liking him. If anything, I’m using him, which is, again, pretty villain-y of me.” I bit back a sour chuckle and looked up at Annie with her elbows propped on the table – she’d picked it up from Erwin. Her expression was worried.

“Are you sure?” She inquired softly, but I was capable of sensing the urgency in her tone, like she couldn’t hold back her latent joy. This had been the answer she’d hoped for, not the one she’d expected, and she didn’t like that it was too good to be true, too cold to be me, too easy to get to be honest. I had no way or intention of making her doubts dissolve.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth. There was a stir in my chest. Guilty conscience. Or something. I didn’t know.

“Because you just avoided answering me,” she retorted, making my smile widen as I snorted in satisfaction. I loved it when Annie tried to be all clever and insightful with me, and I had to admit it worked most of the time, but now she was following a gut feeling she couldn’t back with proof.

“I have Adam to distract me and I’m still sad when Eren gets mentioned, so I don’t think I have the emotional capacity to fall for my father’s intern at the moment, much less when he’ll be leaving in four months. I’m neither that dumb nor masochistic,” I explained as plainly as I could, hoping to get through to her and save us further worries and questioning. My smile had tamed its smugness but Annie was clearly set on pushing me into a confession of something I’d hardly considered a possibility.

“And you still make out with him and act like you’re a couple.” The statement, in a world where I was raised by Jared Raven, would’ve left my mouth and slapped Levi across the face. But this wasn’t that world and I was the one who got slapped. Unfortunately, it was insulting of Annie to say it but, fortunately, it didn’t upset as much as I’d anticipated it would. Maybe I’d accustomed to thinking it, too and having asshole-me rebuff it completely, much like she’d rebuffed the whole concept of me having romantic feelings for Levi. The same mean voice that told me I had weeks, in the beginning, before falling for him. A brain of her own, always going against me.

“We’re not a couple and the physical contact is because I don’t have Eren and I don’t want to be whoring around, throwing myself at Adam,” I justified with an innocent expression. Annie’s resolve was shaken to the point she reclined in her chair and groaned in obvious defeat, making me bite back a smirk.

“Fine, you’re my best friend and I choose to believe you, but I assure you nobody else would, no matter how convincingly detached your arguments are.” I threw her a conceited look and she snorted prior to meeting my gaze, a new question at the tip of her tongue. “On a similar topic, Ackerman’s somebody who can get chicks wherever he goes, but he only has eyes and ears for you. Sounds like love to me.” Her nonchalant manner of stating it only proved she was yet to change the topic and went about pursuing answers a different way.

“Sounds like care to me. He’s told me he cares and just this morning we re-established our friend labels, so I’m hardly inclined to believe he has feelings for me other than that.” I shrugged, reluctantly leaning back and tilting my head at Annie challengingly. She was far from manipulating me into admitting anything, but she thought otherwise, as shown by the next argument she blurted out.

“So what’s his excuse for kissing you?” Oh, how sardonic a question. She was smirking and I tried not to give the reaction she awaited – embarrassment and being flustered on the topic of something I myself considered confusing. I took a big breath and flashed a big benevolent smile before licking my lips in mild spite. Innocent until proven guilty, so please let me be innocent despite the evidence.

“Ask him, not me,” I countered calmly, knowing Annie was bluffing to check how vigorously I’d defend myself in case I’d been lying for the past few minutes. She was disappointed, to say the least, almost making me smile at the weird reaction. Any person in her stead would beam in exultation.

“All I’m saying is,” she began diplomatically,” you’re oblivious dumbasses and you need to start noticing it, taking into account how intelligent you are otherwise.” Her position remained in the same spot. Levi and I were idiots, who, in her opinion, liked each other. How stupid a notion. I might’ve had my period of infatuation, but my father’s intern would never get to his and that was something I believed as unconditionally as I’d believed in the Tooth Fairy as a kid.

“Oh, shut up. I don’t want to hear this from you, Miss No-I-Won’t-Accept-Erwin-Likes-Me-Until-He-Straight-Up-Offers-Me-Marriage,” I drawled mockingly, making the blonde snort so violently my nostrils gave hers their condolences.

“Go suck a dick.” My best friend’s love confession came in its usual harsh manner, so cordial and forced it made me laugh before I shot it down.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to teach me how first.” She threw herself across the table at me, pretending to choke me while seething with embarrassment. I cackled and the bullet was dodged when she joined me. Some questions were answered. I only hoped I’d given the appropriate answers, not the versions best suited to my pitiful nature. But manipulating myself into believing something I knew was a lie wasn’t possible. Right?

Later the same night, I received the following message:

I need a break from this vacation.

If it wasn’t obvious enough who it was from, clearly enough attention was not being paid to the whole of this. When my father’s intern texted me, I was brought back to my conversation with Annie. I’d been honest with her. I knew the signs of liking somebody and they were nowhere to be found. No butterflies, no heart palpitations, no obsessiveness, even normal things like a healthy pinch of jealousy were absent.

You’re a fucking idiot, asshole. Who gets tired from relaxation? I pressed send, absent-minded and thoughtful, trying to compare my feelings for Eren to those for Levi. I wasn’t dumb – I knew different kinds of love existed, but if I had to measure scores and grade my own feelings, those for Eren – albeit faded – still won. Strange.

I obviously do. I don’t feel comfortable wasting my time like this. I picked up my phone when it dinged, letting me read the ridiculous reply. How introverted and workaholic of him. Both traits were justfied, though. Everything about him was justified by past experiences whereas with Eren the unexplainable was also unexpected, always a surprise. The spurts of rage in our junior year, his unreasonable obsession with boxing, his fits of suspicion and accusations, the tic he developed back in middle school – all things I couldn’t explain no matter how much I analysed them.

What do you say about a movie marathon when you come back? I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to rid you of even more work. I sent the text and dropped the phone on my stomach, plopping back on my bed with a sigh. Levi was different from Eren – his whole character was a set of action-reaction workings. I was poor as a child with a mother who worked too much to clean – so let’s be obsessed with everything being clean. My mother’s my reason for living, she’s sick and money’s the solution – so let’s work myself to the bone. Attachments hurt because I’ve gotten burned and I dislike them – so let’s be hostile to everybody to prevent them. If I do it, it’ll be done right and it’ll succeed and if not, only I’ll be to blame – so let’s be a control-freak. Petra’s death and Kuchel’s condition were things he blamed himself for despite that.

It’s a deal if you leave the organisation to me. The message snapped me out of my daze. I was thankful he hadn’t called me because he’d most certainly ask why I sounded weird and I didn’t want to explain it was because I was admiring the way in which a machine with so many broken parts worked flawlessly enough to deceive the majority.

Oh, no! I don’t know what I’ll do without my right to make popcorn and pick the movies. The sarcastic reply didn’t match the expression on my face. You know mom and dad will be visiting their usual hotel around that time, right? Double-texting – oh, the humiliation.

Doesn’t make a difference. First, there was something warm in my chest. It was cute how, bit by bit, native English speakers were corrupting the strict Subject-Verb-Object structure he’d been taught at school. Then, there was that other thing. He was lying. I wondered if he also felt a little pinch when I lied to him as well. I doubted it. Wouldn’t have an inch of skin left to pinch.

It will for me because I’ll be able to scream at the TV. The short reasoning left me staring at the ceiling mindlessly. The buzz of Levi’s reply distracted me. I processed now what we’d been texting about. A movie marathon sounded good. The fact he’d agreed was good too, slightly suspicious taking into account he’d most likely want to work instead, but still good.

Fine. Day of return or the one after? It was unlike Like, this question. I didn’t dwell it on and hummed in thought before deciding I didn’t want to think anymore at all. My head was about to blow up with all these feelings I was trying to decipher.

We’ll decide on the move. I think you should be going to bed now. A headache was pushing at my temples. The best course of action was to cut this short. He’d rest and I’d fetch myself an aspirin from my father’s office. Sweet dreams, asshole. I was staring at the message, characteristic but not sarcasic, when his reply popped up – longer than expected. Also wittier and slightly flirtatious, upon further observation.

Make sure yours have me in them. I have to babysit you constantly, after all. Goodnight, princess. I blinked at my phone for the overall of ten seconds before turning it off and pressing it against my chest. A wondrous grin pulled at the corners of my mouth. No signs of love – no butterflies, no giddiness, no accelerated heartbeat. Why the smile though? I buried my face in my pillow. My feet kicked around.

“(Y/N), stop squealing in the middle of the night! I don’t need this six hours before my alarm rings!” My mother’s reproachful shriek made my feet halt in the air as if held up by invisible strings. I hadn’t realised I’d squealed. I propped myself up and clamped my mouth shut in shame. I didn’t know what got into me, acting like… like this, whatever this was.

“Sorry, mom!” I called sheepishly, having done the damage already. I plopped down but there was no squealing this time. There was only more of that grinning I didn’t understand. No lies there. It frustrated me that I didn’t know myself well enough, wasn’t smart enough to understand it. Pointing out the many things I lacked, however, didn’t help me understand it either.

“I watered the garden, baked a fucking batch of cookies, roasted a whole-ass chicken, cleaned the whole house and I’m still bored,” I groaned into the speaker and Levi took some time to process everything I’d said. True to my words, I’d started the day with a shower and a deep-clean of the house. Once all the germs had been annihilated, I’d decided to cook, then when the house stank of food and I’d opened the door to the backyard, I’d seen the rose bushes were in need of watering, which was exactly what I’d handled next. Now I was bored out of my mind, a pair of sunglasses perched atop the bridge of my nose as I lied in the grass, looking like I was about to invent a new kind of snow angel without the snow.

“Good afternoon to you as well,” the raven-haired intern greeted flatly. I only groaned again, eyes straying towards the roses surrounding me and the pool to my left – beautiful but not entertaining. I pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose and scratched the back of my neck where the grass tickled it.

“Good afternoon, asshole. I want you to tell me a story.” The command was met with silence, muffled waves crashing into sand, some clearing of the throat, a single sigh devoid of positive emotions and the cry of a hungry seagull. I cringed, nose scrunching up at the noise before it made me realise Levi was on the beach, probably lying on a towel and dealing with me instead of having fun.

“There was once an eighteen-year-old princess who---”

“An actual story,” I cut off quickly, not appreciating the sarcasm. The raven snorted in that specific way I knew was always accompanied by a narrow of his eyes. I wondered if he had sunglasses on and if he did – would they leave a ridiculous mask while the rest of his face reddened in the sun? Maybe he’d put on sunscreen. I couldn’t help smiling at the image of his red nose and on top of it – a thick layer of white cream. The thought – logical even in being unreasonable – that followed made my smile turn upside down. It went like this:

If he’d applied sunscreen, who’d been the one to get his back? The pretty German blondie?

“It is an actual story. I thought your highness liked being the main character.” His mockery put my train of thought back on track only so it coud then start a self-deprecating game of Cards Against Humanity with asshole-me. Funny how I was isolated to the point I had to listen to my own conscience insult me.

“I get tired of being me. I don’t want to listen about myself right now,” I said pointedly. Maybe I was jealous he was on vacation with my father when I had to stay at home and be a self-taught maid on minimum wage of zero dollars per hour, but I couldn’t help it – the intern had gradually shifted our family’s dynamic and it frustrated me that he’d managed it in less than six months without even trying.

“Fine, something else is it then,” he concluded with a sign of defeat. I listened intently, pressing the phone closer to my ear. “I really wanted a pet when I was younger, but my mother said we couldn’t afford it. One day, there was a downpour and I was returning from high school. Tucked by the entrance was a drenched kitten. Meeting you reminded me of that.” The small addition made my eyes close in mild bashfulness at the expected softness in his voice. He cleared his throat and proceeded while I imagined him in the grass next to me though he’d refuse to sit down. “Anyways. I took pity on it and took it inside. I kept it a secret for a whole week before it took a shit in the middle of the living room and blew our cover.”

“And Kuchel?” I bit back a chuckle at the conclusion of the story. I could imagine a young Levi bathing and taking care of a little black kitten (no other colour made sense), having to shush its meowing as he went to sleep because his mother could hear. It was a cute little picture, an ebony-haired teenager feeding a charcoal-coloured ball of fur in secret. The notion seemed simple and pure. A small act of kindness which had formed a bond.

“What do you think?” He asked, voice devoid of snark. As brief as my conversation with Kuchel had been, I gathered she was probably the kindest and most selfless person I’d ever talked to. Needless to say, she’d passed down a big part of that to her son, but he, defensive and skeptical, had decided to cover it in multiple layers of indifference and reluctance. He saved it up, but his mother gave it away like she had an endless reserve.

“I think she agreed to keep it. She probably pulled the usual parent-speech and said it would help you become more responsible,” I said, confident in my logic but earger to receive confirmation. It reminded of a childhood memory. Hitch and I had been arguing and I’d run to my father for support, only to be told I’d been wrong. Bawling in outrage, I’d felt my father’s hands take mine as he prompted me (“Come on, princess. Anything at all.”) to say something. The only thing six-year-old me had come up with (“I love you.”) had been typical and childish. His smile had turned into a grin, soft and ground and his response (“That’s right. And I love you, (Y/N), because you’re my most important thing, not because you can subtract numbers.”) had made it one of my fondest memories of my father, so uncharacteristically loving it could make me laugh now.

“It doesn’t take a lot to figure out my mother. Yes, we kept the fur ball and I took care of it for a while until Isabel’s allergies made us give it away. My best friend – Farlan – took it in.” The explanation prompted a mental note of the name I hadn’t heard until now.

“What did you name it?” I piped, realising I’d missed the most important part of the story. Levi kept silent – strangely so. He was hesitant, I realised, probably because he didn’t want me to hear it. If I had luck, it would be something stupid and cute, like Mr. Snuggles or Fufu.

“… Pluie.” The pitiful yet stoic utterance came as a shock, the rude awakening that he, too, had been a naïve teenager once upon a time. I laughed so loudly I heard a bird take flight from the branch of a tree a few feet away. My stomach twisted in amusement.

“You seriously named the cat rain?” I spoke between fits of giggles, sensing Levi’s annoyance rise to boil on the other end of the line, like a kettle threatening to burst. My ear became collateral damage as a result of the spillage.

“I was a fucking fourteen-year-old, don’t give me shit about that,” he scolded, imperative tone with an embarrassed tinge that only made me laugh harder. I rolled around the grass, clutching my phone with one hand and my abdomen with the other. I imagined Levi’s constipated expression – tired and as far from amused as a face could go – with his sunglasses on his nose and the breeze making his locks sway slightly. I wondered if he’d give up on me completely and end the call, but he waited for me to calm down and speak again instead.

“… I love it,” I concluded warmly after a small pause. He sighed but I couldn’t pinpoint the kind of face that went with it. A smile stretched my lips when an idea hit me – so innocent and naïve it couldn’t go unspoken. “If I visit France someday, I want to see him.”

“He’s a really vicious cat, but I’m sure you’ll get along since you’re both spoiled,” he hummed, nonchalant and in the mood to humour me. I snorted, a bitter smile surfacing as I gazed up at the sky – so beautiful it annoyed me to look at. It was a strange logic, but the blue reminded of the specks and thinking of them reminded of the fact I couldn’t see them, wouldn’t see them for four more days. I let my lids drop to avoid the sight.

“Very funny,” I stated, a scornful type of ice dripping off my tongue – as fake as my Aunt Petunia’s smiles if not directed at darling George. I paused, reaching for my sunglasses and let my thoughts drift in a brand new direction. “If you had your own house one day,” my voice was curious like a child’s, “would you take Pluie back?” I needn’t ponder the answer because he’d give it any second now.

“Of course. He might be an annoying fur ball I’ll constantly have to clean up after, but he’s a good companion.” I imagined him still lying on his towel, warm sand tickling his feet like the grass tickled mine, with his firm gaze glued to the horizon. His expression wouldn’t fit the sunscreen smeared on his face, making it almost comical. I wished to bear witness to it. Alas, I was in my backyard, rolling around in the grass like a dog and praying not to die of boredom. The roses and the empty pool kept me company, but neither provided comfort – Levi’s voice was there for that.

“I don’t know why but imagining you with an animal is nearly impossible,” I half-mocked, half-admitted, hoping he would come to notice neither. Instead, he noticed both and, as always, wasn’t one bit moved by the lack of subtlety in the tactless display.

“That’s because Pluie is the only animal I tolerate. Others require too much care and effort. Some are also exceptionally nasty,” he explained, simple and succinct, and him to the point it made my smile like he’d told a joke. My lids fluttered open and I lifted my left hand to my face. The silver band reflected the sun into my narrowed eyes.

“You sound like a terrible person when you talk like that, asshole. Thank God for Pluie,” I joked, mesmerised by the ring’s sheen. Holding the phone between my ear and shoulder, I took it off and held it up. When I squinted, the miniature circle seemed to encapsulate the great blue sky and all its clouds. I speculated, like a scientist on the brink of a great discovery, if this was how majestic everything would look as seen thought the silver band. The house would be a palace with sculptured and paintings, the garden – a vast field of exotic flowers, the roses – whole worlds of aroma, the plain grass – God’s rendition of the most simplistic of loveliness. It was either the wonder of happiness borne of marriage or just a hallucination my mind graced me with prior to a stroke.

“I hear you judging, but you’re not an ardent animal lover yourself.” Levi’s words made me blink like somebody had clapped their hands in front of my face, waking me from a trance. The silver ring slipped from my hold and rolled in the grass. I mindlessly propped myself on my elbows to look for it.

“That one wasn’t up to me. I wanted a dog when I was little, but my parents were too busy almost getting divorced to care and when that died down, they didn’t trust me enough with a pet. By the time I got into high school, I got used to the idea. That’s that.” My hands roamed the ground, feverishly seeking the ring. My panic dissipated when I felt it – an instant sedative.

“If you come to France, I could let you take care of Pluie,” the intern suggested ever so kindly. I collapsed next to my fallen sunglasses, slipping the ring back on my finger with a huff. The urge to be leading this conversation with him face to face was burning, insistent and annoying.

“Your offer is too generous. I doubt there’s a future for me in France besides being Pluie’s caretaker and that wouldn’t pay much, would it now?” I mocked weakly, voice soft and casual.

“I’ll make sure I support you properly, princess. It’s only my duty as your friend.” The stiffness in his timbre was odd, like something having found shelter in the wrong place. Maybe the universe was laughing at my expression or maybe it was just the echo of asshole-me cackling so hysterically she almost choked. Served her right. I was silent and tense all over and the intern was attempting to become the one snack I couldn’t afford to have. I was on a fucking diet for fuck’s sake. Then there was that voice again – the perfect blondie – calling his name.

“And I can hear your new friend calling in the back. We should probably---”

“Hold up. Don’t you dare hang up like last time,” he cut off my haste, threatening without actually telling me what the consequences would be. “We’ll talk about this when I get back. Don’t jump to conclusions, princess. Understood?” He was the strict babysitter and I was the child, even though I didn’t feel like one. I felt like I did that one time Eren told me (“I don’t see the point in me flirting with others when I have you.”) not to worry about other girls, when he held my hand and looked into my eyes, promising (“I love you so fucking much you have no idea.” “Die for me and all that jazz, yeah?” “No. I’ll live for you because that’s way harder.”) he loved nobody but me. Only me.

“Understood, asshole. Have fun.” I smiled despite the little gnawing feeling at the back of my mind. I felt calm and at ease when he hung up even when the blondie kept calling his name. I trusted him like I trusted Eren because he’d had eyes only for me. Little spoiled me. How I’d fucked us both over. How mean. Levi, I was sure, didn’t have eyes only for me even if Annie would argue herself to the moon and back disproving it, but I trusted him just as unconditionally. That part was my own duty.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts

[ariannaromero]

cheater- chris sturniolo

a/n: my first imagine cuz im bored 🤩

y/n pov:

i had just come back from work and today was really stressful. I just wanted to lay down and relax and cuddle with my boyfriend. I open the door twisting the key. "ugh finally" I groan. "IS THAT MY BEST FRIEND?!" I hear nick scream. "MAYBE?!" I sat in the same amused tone. he hugs me super tight. "n-nick I can't breathe" I manage to say. "oop sorry" he says apologetically, a guilty look on his face. "it's fine" I respond. "oh Matt's taking a nap and chris is in his room, been up there the whole day" he says curiously, shrugging his shoulders. "ugh my back is fucked uppppp" I say with a painful look on my face. "damn bitch, u getting old this quick?!" he joked. "NICK!" I shout. he starts running to his room, I didn't even bother chasing him.

i went straight to chris' room. I walk into his room and I see him with another girl, guessing they didn't hear me cause they didn't stop making out. I felt tears flood my eyes I quickly ran to the bathroom hoping nobody heard me. I start sobbing.

i was in there for 45 minutes. I decided I was juat gonna go home. I looked at my phone for the time. 8:46 pm. my lock screen was a picture of me and Chris kissing on the beach which made me wanna cry even more. 'fuck' I mumble when I look in the mirror and see my makeup all smeared. I open the bathroom door and run downstairs, hoping nick and matt weren't gonna be able to see me.

but of course, on the couch watching Dora the fucking explorer. 'bro be so fr' I thought to myself. "omg y/n what happend?" matt asks. I felt my top lip tremble. "I s-saw chris k-kissing another girl" I said tripping over my words. " no fucking way" nick and matt said at the same time. I tried to sniffle my tears away. "I'm gonna fucking beat his ass" I heard matt mumble under his breath. "matt no its not worth it" I said trying to stop him. "no because what the fuck, chris isn't the type to cheat what the actual fuck" nick says. "so I thought" I whispered. I look over at matt and see him halfway up the stairs running. "MATT!" I scream.

he opens chris' door "OK WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" matt screams angrily. chris is quick to turn around. "what.the.fuck" I say. "YO HOLD UP ISNT THAT JENNY?!" nick yells all of a sudden. "yes it fucking is..." I say. "y/n, I'm sorry i-" chris tries to apologize. "chris no don't give me a sob story" I say backing up. "baby i-" chris says but I cut him off. "chris never in my life would I have thought that I would get heartbroken, especially by you" I say getting closer to him. he tries to kiss me but I back up "chris no wtf" I say "and you, you backstabbing BITCH I TRUSTED YOU WHORE AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME?!" I shout. "oh me? baby he never liked you in the first place." says Jenny. "wow really brave of you to say considering you are a fucking side chick" I said raising my voice as I finish. nick and matt are both shocked by my use of words. "I never wanna hear from the both of you ever again" I say with a smirk.

"well my job here is done, have fun I have no business here" i say leaving the room, nick and matt following behind me. I hear Chris calling my name i just ignored him. "well see you guys later!" I say my goodbyes. "y/n that was really badass" nick said. "she's definitely crying herself to sleep tonight" matt giggles. "yea" I laugh. "well love you both byeeee" I say. once in halfway down the block I hear them shout "WE LOVE YOUUU!!" I laugh to myself.

what the fuck am I gonna do about chris. I start crying again. "what's wrong with me...."

[noctumbra]

𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦

summary ─ “it’ll be okay. i’m gonna make sure of it.” you sniffed as you buried your face into his tank top. his arms were an anchor around you, a cage that made you feel safe.

pairing ─ mickey henry x reader

warnings ─ exes to lovers, language, angst, fluff, kissing, no freaky things in this one, in the upcoming part however...... hmm

a/n ─ this is my first time writing a character other than bucky in this blog *sniffs* be easy on me? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺 hope you like it! please leave a comment if you do! thank youuu <333

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙸

You were at your friend’s wedding. A wedding that they decided to plan it like it was a regular beach party. It was crowded. You probably knew only two─ three people. Four. You knew four people here, and he was the least person you expected to see. Especially what happened between you two, but it somehow made sense for him to be here. He was a DJ at the end, and he was obviously hired for the party.

Mickey was standing by the DJ booth with his headphones hanging on his neck. He was solely focused on the board in front of him, sometimes turning his attention to the laptop on his left. He was bobbing his head to the song, frowning a little when he focused even more to the changing beat.

He looked good.

His skin was shining with gorgeous tan he got throughout the whole summer, it was a nice, warm golden color. His hair’s gotten longer since the last time you saw him. It looked fluffy and soft, and suddenly you were burning with the urge to run your fingers through it. He had a light scruff going on; some whites were shining through the dark ones. He looked really good. You wanted to cry.

All the emotions you have denied yourself to let out were there, wanting to get out, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t cry at the first time you saw him after years. It would be too… pathetic. You took deep breaths, desperately trying to calm down and to send the tears back. When you felt you weren’t going to cry, you made your way to the bar to get yourself a drink as a reward.

“Can I get a gin tonic? Thanks,” you said, smiling at the bartender. The guy nodded politely. His hands worked fast as he prepared your order. In under a minute, you were sipping your gin tonic.

You were sitting at the very end of the bar counter when he came, all smiling. “Hey man,” he greeted the bartender. “Vodka? You know what I like.” The guy nodded like he did to you, but he was all smiley this time. It was obvious that they knew each other; probably from other wedding or party gigs, you thought. You watched him as he waited for his order.

He kept looking at his phone like he was expecting a call or a text. His eyes were wandering around, too. You felt a pang in your chest when the possibility of him having a girlfriend came to mind. Not that he wasn’t allowed to move on, it just hurt to see him move on this quick and that he looked like it wasn’t affecting him. You sighed. Taking a sip, you continued to watch him.

He was still wearing the rings you bought to him as a birthday gift. You knew he loved rings, so you thought it could make a great birthday gift, you were right. Mickey loved them so much so that he only took them off when he was showering. You smiled at the memory. Your fingers were tracing the small tattoo on your wrist. A matching one was winking at you from Mickey’s own wrist.

“Are you gonna pine after him all night?” You shrieked when you heard your friend’s, Rose, voice right next to your ear, making a couple heads turn.

“Fuck’s sake, Rose!” You frowned. “You scared me!” She rolled her eyes.

“You can’t pine after him,” she said, ignoring the stinky eyes you were giving her. You shrugged and returned to your drink. “He has a girlfriend, Y/N. Tell me you’re not gonna do anything.” You felt another pang in your chest, stronger than before.

“Girlfriend?” You murmured and heard Rose’s approving hum. “I wasn’t going to do anything, but thanks for telling me anyway.” You swore you could hear Rose’s taunting ‘huh’ in your mind, but in reality, she stayed silent.

“Whatever,” she said, waving her hand. “I’m gonna go see if Lara needs help with anything.” You nodded absently and watched her disappear in the crowd.

Girlfriend. He did move on. You swallowed the bitter laughter crawling its way out of your throat with the last of your gin tonic.

Your break-up wasn’t exactly messy, but it was expected. You saw it coming and tried to save it many times, but the effort was one-sided so, it didn’t work. You tried damn hard to make it work, though. You wished he’d make some efforts, too, sometimes. It wasn’t a secret that you haven’t moved on from Mickey; a small part of you would always be in love with him in a way, you knew it. You were only thankful that he didn’t go and cheat on you or something while you were still together. You grew apart, that was what happened, and then you had to move away from Greece, and he didn’t stop you…

Sighing again, you signaled the bartender for another gin tonic. You weren’t going to drink your emotions away and get drunk, that’d be absolutely the worst thing you could ever do. This second glass was your last, and then you were going to make up an excuse and walk away.

You thanked the bartender when he brought you your drink. You started sipping it while you searched for Rose so that you could excuse yourself. The wedding part of this party had happened already, so there was no reason for you to stay. Quickly finishing your drink, you looked for Rose only to find her by the altar, talking to a guy you didn’t know.

“Hey, Rose,” you called out to her. “I’m leaving,” you said when she turned to you. A frown sat between her brows immediately. “Alone, fuck’s sake. I had two drinks and I wanna go home before it’s too late. Alright?” The frown didn’t disappear, but she nodded.

“Alright,” she said. “Let me know when you’re home, though,” she added.

“Sure,” you agreed. You could do that. “See ya later.”

─

You decided to walk home through the beach. The sound of the waves and the smell of the sea always calmed you down right away. Tonight wasn’t so different. You hugged yourself. It wasn’t cold although there was a breeze. You didn’t mind, though. It was a nice change after the burning heat of the day.

Walking slowly, you closed your eyes and breathed in deeply. It was peaceful. You forgot how nice this walking-on-the-beach-at-nights thing felt. A smile made your lips twitch. You exhaled slowly, shivering pleasantly when the breeze licked your skin. You were away from the party now, and with the music gone, it got quiet and, like it was possible, even more peaceful.

You smiled.

“Wait!” You froze. “Y/N!”

No, you thought. You didn’t want to deal with him. No, please. I’ll cry, no.

“Hey,” Mickey said when he caught you. “I, uh, didn’t know you were going to come to the party,” he added. His fingers were already playing the short hairs of his nape. You gave him a forced smile and nodded.

“Last minute decision,” you murmured, not bothering to go into detail. Mickey nodded, too. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t, or didn’t know how to. You didn’t pressure him. You just wanted him to go because you didn’t want to cry when he was with you. He didn’t deserve to see you vulnerable anymore.

“Well,” he started. “I’m actually glad you came,” he said, chuckling lightly. You frowned. He’s glad? That’s new, you thought. Mickey hummed softly, seeing the slight frown appearing between your eyebrows. “I wanted to talk to for a while, but you changed your numbed and moved away, so I couldn’t,” he explained. You stopped in your tracks. Taking a deep breath, you tried to swallow your tears away.

“What do you possibly want to talk about, Mickey?” You asked. Your voice was angry and a little shaky. You could feel the lump in your throat. Mickey sighed.

“I wanted to apologize, Y/N,” he murmured. He played with his fingers, pulled on his bracelet and sniffed lightly. He was nervous. You clenched your jaw. “The way we ended was… bad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to end that way.” Then, he rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even want it to end, actually. It just happened.”

“What?” Your frowned deepened. “You didn’t want it to end? What the hell are you talking about, Mickey?”

“It was a misunderstanding!” He exclaimed. “Look, we got distant, yes. It was…” He exhaled harshly. He suddenly looked tired, like he was about to cry. “I have a kid,” he murmured. “A son. He’s six, and I’ve been trying to get his mother to let him see me. There were some legal shit I had to do, and then I learned that he got sick. I didn’t mean to get distant, but I did, I know my mistake.” Mickey lifted his head; his baby blue eyes were teary, and they looked earnest, soft and sad. You bit your lip. “I’m sorry for not telling you that I have a kid. I’m sorry for closing in and for getting distant.” He took a deep breath and stepped into your personal space. His fingers brushed your knuckles. “I’m sorry for letting you go. I should have stopped you, should’ve been honest to you. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You looked down at your hand where he was still brushing your knuckles with his fingers softly. Your chin was trembling, and there was no stopping your tears: They were running down freely. “Why…” You started but had to cut yourself and clear your throat. “Why would I believe you?”

Mickey nodded slowly. “You have every right to not believe me,” he agreed. “I can show you his pictures. The paperwork? I’ll do anything to get you to believe me, Y/N. I’ve never wanted what we had to end like this.” You sniffed.

“Picture,” you whispered. Mickey immediately reached for his phone and opened the gallery. He scrolled down a little and clicked on a picture, and then turned the screen to you.

“His name is Hector,” he said. You grabbed the phone, eyes already taking in the details.

The little boy had his hair. It was chestnut brown, fluffy and slightly curly. He had brown eyes, a cute nose and a chin dimple like Mickey’s. He was smiling in the picture, and you could see the resemblance. You smiled when you saw him wearing a Scooby-Doo t-shirt.

“He’s cute,” you murmured, handing him the phone. You watched his lips stretch wide for a smile as he, too, looked at the picture briefly. The love and adoration were obvious on his face, and fatherhood would look great on him, you thought. “Looks like you.” His smile widened.

“Yeah, his mother isn’t happy about it,” he grumbled and then rolled his eyes. You hummed. Mickey locked his phone and stuffed it into his pocket. “I’m sorry for not telling you about Hector earlier.” You shrugged. It had been years, you didn’t have the right to get mad.

“It’s fine,” you whispered. Sniffing, you looked around. “Go back to the party,” you told him. “Your girlfriend might be looking for you.” You ignored the slight venom your voice was carrying.

“Girlfriend?” Mickey said, grimacing. “I’m single.” You looked at him.

“No need to lie, Mick,” you murmured. “It’s fine if you have one.”

“But I don’t?” Mickey muttered something to himself. “Who told you that? Was it Rose?” Your eyes snapped at his, giving him the answer he was looking for. He laughed bitterly. “Your friend is into me. So, she’s keeping everyone away from me.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe this was happening. “I rejected her a couple months ago, and since then she’s been a bitch to me.” Then, he gave you a side eye. “Sorry.” Shrugging again, you continued to look at him.

“Rose?” You asked. He nodded. You frowned for a couple seconds, and then rolled your eyes. “Fuck’s sake.” Mickey gave you a questioning look. “She was way too happy when I told her that we broke up.” He snorted. When you started walking slowly again, Mickey was quick to adapt your pace.

You walked on the beach for a while like that: Mutual and peaceful silence, calmness on the air now that each other’s presences’ were soothing you both in a way. You took deep breaths. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do with this new information that was dumped on you. You didn’t care that he had a son although you would have appreciated if he were to tell you while you were dating, but it was okay. You sighed.

“I wanna try again properly,” Mickey said, abruptly. “If that’s what you want, too, of course.” He gave you a small smile when you turned your head to look at him, shock etched on your features. “I never wanted it to end, I told you. I’m willing to try again and willing to make up all the pain I’ve caused unknowingly.” You turned to him.

“I’m scared,” you said, and you were. You were scared that you’d get hurt. The first months after your break up were the worst, and you didn’t want to go through those times ever again. With shaky hands, you held his ring clad ones. “Mickey, I’m scared.” He cooed at you.

“Ssshh,” he whispered. His arms were wrapped around you in a blink. “It’ll be okay. I’m gonna make sure of it.” You sniffed as you buried your face into his tank top. His arms were an anchor around you, a cage that made you feel safe. You took a deep breath, filling your lungs with his faint cologne. “I’m gonna make everything right this time. I promise.”

After a short while of silence, you heard him taking a deep breath.

“While we’re at being honest thing,” he murmured softly and slowly, like he didn’t want to ruin this moment. You frowned lightly, pulling back to look at his eyes. “There is someone else that I think you should meet.”

──

[charincharge]

I Don't Want To Wait, forty-eight

rowaelin high school bff au masterlist

Based on the prompts:

“This wasn’t supposed to happen – this wasn’t – the plan was…”

Seeing someone’s made them their lockscreen

“Take these clothes and make them smell like you again.”

“I’m mad at you because I love you”

“Is that all you’re going to sleep in?” “Yeah, you know this is what I sleep in when it’s this warm.”

“Want to kiss me?” “Not in the slightest.”

Aelin did her best to keep a smile on her face as they drove the short distance from the beach to Aelin’s house, but inside she felt like she was dying a thousand deaths. She kept Rowan’s hand in a vice grip, laced with her fingers, and tried to focus on every detail of his hand instead of the gnawing feeling in her stomach. She turned his hand over in hers and let her thumb trail down each long finger, tapping the pad gently and trailing back down. He shivered as he pulled into her driveway, causing her to smile softly. But it was wiped off her face as he turned to her, concerned, pulling his hand away and resting it on his lap.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

His side-eye was enough to let her know that he’d clocked her sudden silence in the car, but she didn’t want to fight tonight. She just wanted to be with him. She wanted to pretend that he hadn’t just torn apart the future she’d imagined for them; she wanted to feel him pressed against her and kiss him senseless until all her bad thoughts had emptied out of her head.

“It kind of feels like you’re mad at me?” Rowan prodded, not getting the hint that she just wanted to ignore things and barrel forward. But she was always better at ignoring things than he was. “Is this about the, uh… sex stuff?”

“I’m not,” she said. It wasn’t even a lie – she’d been so distracted by the college news that his new sex parameters had been completely erased from her brain. Plus, it wasn’t even that she was mad. She was confused. Really, really confused. “I’m just hungry.”

At that, a wide smile cracked across Rowan’s face, his green eyes glinting with laughter as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. She hummed happily at the feel of his soft mouth against hers.

“I should have known,” he chuckled against her skin. Then it was her turn to shiver.

His voice was ever so slightly lower, and she loved the new feel of the vibrations against her cheek. Her eyes widened as he pulled back, giving her some sort of indiscernible look, and then immediately closed as his lips crashed against hers. The kiss took her by surprise as the ferocity melted away into something softer. This kiss was unlike anything she’d experienced before; it was slower, more prolonged, his tongue just barely brushing between her lips to touch hers. An uncontrollable guttural noise escaped her mouth as his hands knotted in her hair, grabbing fistfuls of her salt-dried locks. He reared back quickly, his eyes downcast as he rubbed his hand over his face and groaned a low, painful sound. But he smiled at her again, regardless.

“Who taught you how to kiss like that?” Aelin asked, breathless and eyes glazed over with lust, feeling phantom tingles against her mouth, remembering the kiss in excruciating detail.

Rowan’s cheeks flushed, but she barely noticed, too distracted by the way his new muscles flexed beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt as he ran his hand through his unruly hair.

“I told you the guys at camp were…informative,” he laughed under his breath. His eyes flicked up to hers, nervously, and she couldn’t help but sigh happily. That was the reunion she had imagined. Incredible kisses and sweet smiles and soft blushes.

“We were supposed to eat hours ago,” he laughed. “And you’re going to get even grumpier if you keep looking at me like that because I’m not going to let you out of this car.”

“We can arrange for that,” Aelin laughed, leaning over the console, but Rowan just laughed and grabbed his vibrating phone from his pocket. A long string of text alerts appeared on the screen, garnering Aelin’s curiosity. “Someone’s popular…” she said, wondering who could possibly be texting Rowan that much.

“Camp guys group chat,” he explained, quickly clearing the notifications away with a swipe of his thumb and revealing his lock screen – Aelin’s own face smiling back at her from his hand.

“Am I your lock screen?” she asked, though the answer was quite clear. His lock screen was the picture she’d sent with him to camp – her smiling and posing in her lifeguard uniform. At his shy answering smile, she wanted to launch herself at him again, but he stopped her with a soft kiss. She couldn’t help but pout.

“Food,” Rowan protested weakly.

“Kisses,” Aelin said, leaning forward again. “I need to collect on a thousand of them, remember?” Her lips pressed against his softly over and over, her words escaping between the thousand kisses she meant to collect.

“Babyyy,” he said, pained.

The sound thrilled Aelin and sent a jolt of electricity down her spine. She pulled back, flushed and smiling, their discord pushed to the back of her brain, erased by Rowan’s thorough kisses.

“So, not that I mind… at all,” Aelin said, unbuckling herself and finally getting out of the car. “But, I don’t think you’ve ever called me baby so much before.”

Rowan slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her tight, and she inhaled his scent that she’d missed so much and exhaled the tension from her shoulders.

“It’s so I don’t confuse you with my other girlfriends,” he said so nonchalantly that Aelin froze and looked up at him. And up a little further. It was going to take some getting used to his new height. His answering smirk was enough to have Aelin pulling herself out of his grasp and punching the side of his arm. “Ow,” he laughed, rubbing at the spot where Aelin had landed her first. “What?” he joked. “If I call you all baby I have less chance of mixing up your names…baby,” he said with a wink.

Though she was a hundred percent certain Rowan was joking, she couldn’t help the small tug of insecurity, reminding her that she wasn’t always his one and only.

She must have made a face because Rowan tugged at her hand and pulled her close again. “I’m kidding, Ace.”

“You’d better be,” she mumbled, opening the front door.

They were greeted by the sight of Rhoe and Lorcan in the kitchen, which barely phased Aelin at this point. Lorcan was sitting at the table, hunched over as he scooped tortilla chips into a large bowl of guacamole, while Rhoe cooked something on the stovetop.

“BABE!” Lorcan bellowed through his mouthful of chips.

Aelin practically rolled her eyes as her hulking friend galloped across the room to embrace her boyfriend. Though she couldn’t help but notice that Rowan was only about an inch or two shorter than Lorcan. Wow, he really had grown. Apparently that was the first thing that Lorcan noticed, too, because his eyes widened as he took in Rowan’s new form, perusing him up and down before smirking soundly and clapping his friend on the back.

“Well, well, well, look who finally grew up,” Lorcan said with a salacious grin. “You fill in that much everywhere?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Salvaterre, don’t be gross,” Rhoe chastised weakly before giving his own hug to Rowan. “Welcome back, kid. We missed you. And it looks like Antica agreed with you,” he said with a smile.

“I guess?” Rowan shrugged, but Lorcan wanted to make sure her boyfriend knew exactly what that meant.

“Babe,” he began, getting Rowan’s attention back. “You got hot. Like, really hot.”

A steady blush crept up the back of Rowan’s neck as he shyly tucked his chin into his chest, his eyes sliding to Aelin for confirmation.

“I don’t know about that,” he mumbled, but Lorcan just let out a snort.

“Well, I do.” He paused and looked at Aelin, concerned. “Come on, Aelin, tell him. He looks like a golden god.”

Aelin frowned at the boy who had become like an annoying older brother to her in the course of the summer, and reached up and covered Rowan’s ears as best as she could, lifting up onto her tiptoes. “Don’t tell him, Lor! It’s much better for all of us if he doesn’t know.”

“I can still hear you,” Rowan laughed, eyes amused as he pulled Aelin’s hands from his ears.

“So, Golden God,” Rhoe said, trying his hardest not to laugh. “Don’t keep us waiting forever. Maeve said you had some very exciting news to share, but she wouldn’t tell us.”

Rowan looked nervously at Aelin and then back at Lorcan and Rhoe as they waited impatiently, and Aelin’s stomach twisted again. She’d been able to push away this information for a little bit, but she knew she’d have to deal with it eventually.

But she stood dutifully beside him, always smiling as he showed them his Wendlyn recruitment letter.

“Wowwwww,” Lorcan said, taking the letter and looking at it closer. “Better get those grades up this semester,” he joked at Aelin, causing her bad mood to return in full force. She was afraid she was going to cry, seeing how happy her dad and Lorcan were for Rowan. She should have been just as happy, but she just couldn’t bring herself to be.

She lifted herself up onto her toes again and pressed her lips to his cheek.

“I’m going to go shower and change. Will you figure out dinner?” she asked softly. She didn’t bother to wait for Rowan’s acceptance of her request to bolt upstairs and shut the door.

Carefully encased in her room, she let her shoulders sag. She felt the weight of the night collapse onto her, her emotions running wild as she finally let herself really truly feel. The strong spray of the shower wasn’t enough to clear away the feelings of upset, but then she was clouded with guilt. She should be happy for Rowan. Everyone else was. It was a fantastic opportunity, what he was being presented with. A full ride to an incredible school.

An incredible school that she had no shot of getting into.

She hadn’t realized how much she’d thought about their future. She’d imagined walking across campus hand-in-hand and sneaking kisses between study sessions in the library, of coming back to her dorm late at night, tipsy on cheap alcohol and endorphins and twisting into a tiny twin bed, legs entangled as they slept together. She imagined going to his games and getting decked out in their college colors and sitting with their group of friends as they cheered wildly for him, for their team to win. She imagined meeting on campus for coffee between classes and coming back home together.

As the water pelted onto her sore muscles, she mourned the loss of her imagined future. She took deep breaths as the images faded away, becoming something horrible, something sinister. She saw Rowan on the Wendlyn campus, surrounded by other girls far smarter and more talented than her, all laughing and trading stories about their exes from high school. A wave of insecurity swept over her, tugging her mood down, down, down, until all her dreams had swirled down the drain with the last droplet of water as she turned off the faucet.

She looked at herself in the mirror, her usually bright eyes looking sullen and angry, and tried to shake it off, but it was too late. She’d let it wash over her. She’d been overtaken.

Her mood only worsened when she realized most of her pajamas were dirty, and she had nothing more than an old dryer shrunken tank top and well-worn shorts to wear. So, now she didn’t even feel cute. She was calling tonight a wash.

Heading downstairs, she was unsurprised to see all the men in her life, huddled around the chips and guac on the table, shoveling food into their mouths and discussing Lorcan’s favorite parts of fire academy. But as Rowan heard her footsteps creaking across the floorboards, he inhaled sharply and began coughing wildly.

“What are you wearing?” Rowan managed to wheeze out as his coughing subsided, and Aelin looked down at her ratty old pajamas with a frown.

“Pajamas?”

“That’s all you’re going to sleep in?” he asked, his eyes slowly trailing down the expanse of her exposed legs.

Aelin crossed her arms over her chest protectively. “You know this is what I sleep in when it’s this warm,” she replied, nonplussed. The pajamas were old, yes, but he didn’t have to make a big deal about it. She didn’t get why he was so hung up on it. Rowan blinked and blinked again, clearing his throat slightly as he looked away.

“With Lorcan here?”

Aelin frowned. “Lorcan’s always here.”

Lorcan snorted loudly. “You weren’t kidding. She is hangry.”

Aelin’s brows furrowed as her eyes narrowed in Lorcan’s direction as she took the empty seat next to Rowan. She sat stiffly beside him, neither of them reaching for each other how they usually would, no hands held or knees caressed or hair tucked behind ears. She felt all weird and prickly and wrong.

“So,” she said turning to him, “Did you figure out dinner, or did you just eat chips?”

Rhoe paused mid-bite, looking between Aelin and Rowan curiously. His brow raised, but Aelin just shook her head slightly.

“I thought we’d go out for pizza, but if you’re already in pajamas, we could order delivery?” Rowan suggested. Aelin just shrugged and took the empty seat next to him.

“And wait an hour for Aelin to be fed?” Lorcan gasped. “That sounds dangerous.”

Aelin frowned. “You think you’re so funny.”

“He’s not funny, he tells the truth, Fireheart,” Rhoe said, pressing a kiss to Aelin’s forehead as he made his way to the kitchen. “Let’s see what we have in the fridge.” She watched as her dad opened and closed all the doors and cabinets, shouting out options to them, each one sounding worse than the last.

“I think, maybe, pizza is the safest,” Aelin said.

“We have stuff for BLTs?” Rhoe called out, and Lorcan lit up at that.

“Oooh, a BLT sounds perfect,” he bellowed back.

Rowan snorted. “Yeah, I bet you’d like to B your L on someone’s T’s,” he mumbled under his breath, causing Lorcan’s eyes to widen in shock.

“Did you just say what I think you said?” he asked, laughter bubbling up in his chest, his dark eyes filled with amusement.

“No,” Rowan replied quickly, his cheeks burning red as his eyes trained down on the table, away from Lorcan’s prying eyes. Aelin looked between the two boys, not understanding what was just said.

“My little boy grew up in more ways than one this summer!” Lorcan said, pretending to wipe a tear away from his cheek. Rowan threw a chip across the table at Lorcan’s face, shaking his head. "Naughty, naughty..."

“Shut up.”

“I don’t get it,” she said, frustrated, but Rowan just shot her down.

“Don’t worry about it.” Aelin stared at him, willing him to break, but he just shook his head and looked down and away from her again as Lorcan smirked.

She wanted to throttle him. It was enough to be rejected sexually and then have him go to college without her, but now for him to be talking about things and not explaining them to her? Inside jokes or whatever, that she was purposefully being excluded from. She felt a burning fury overtake her sadness, replacing her disappointment with a consuming fire, flames raging on the sides of her cheeks as she spat, “Fine,” and stood up from the table and went to go help her dad with their dinner.

There was something comforting about going on autopilot and making sandwiches with her dad. She’d done it so many nights in her life that she could shut her brain off as she reached for the bread, putting it into the toaster and grabbed a tomato and began slicing. Her dad stood beside her, flipping pieces of sizzling bacon.

“So…” he finally said, his voice low and concerned. “Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, but I thought for sure you and Rowan would be… reuniting—” he cleared his throat uncomfortably as his eyes shot down to focus on the meat in the pan in front of him, “—elsewhere, until late tonight.”

“Dad.” Aelin couldn’t bear to have her dad talk about her and Rowan’s lack of reuniting.

His low chuckle was countered by his concerned side glance, his blue eyes prying for more information that Aelin did not want to give.

“I’m just saying, there is a distinct lack of hand-holding and all-around general cuddliness between you two, and I was prepared for much, much worse from the girl who spent every night kissing Rowan’s picture before bed.”

Aelin’s eyes shot to her dad as the toast popped out of the toaster. “You said you’d never bring that up!”

“Fireheart…” Rhoe continued.

But Aelin wasn’t ready to talk yet. “It’s fine. We’re fine.”

“Uh huh,” Rhoe said, pulling the bacon off the pan and laying them on paper towels to de-grease. “Well, if you want to talk, you know where I am.”

“With Lorcan?” she snapped, and immediately felt bad. Her dad had nothing to do with her bad mood. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly. She snatched a warm piece of bacon between her fingers and plopped it into her mouth, letting the salty goodness comfort her. “I really do need some food.”

Luckily, her dad heard her loud and clear and let her stew in her bad mood as she put the sandwiches together while he sliced up some carrots.

Aelin nibbled on her dinner as Rowan and Lorcan wolfed down three sandwiches each.

“I guess you were hungry?” Aelin asked as Rowan brushed a crumb from the corner of his mouth.

“I wasn’t joking when I told you I was hungry all the time,” he laughed, finally resting his hand on her bare knee.

“Hungry and horny,” Lorcan laughed, sending a wink to Rowan across the table. Rowan snatched his hand back from Aelin’s knee, grasping it in his lap, his fingers interlocked as demurely as possible, as Rhoe smacked Lorcan’s shoulder.

“Get out of my house, Salvaterre,” Rhoe said, and though he said it with a joking chuckle, it was clear he was serious. “You’re a terrible influence on my child. I don't need you corrupting Rowan, too.”

“I was jokingggg,” Lorcan insisted, but Rhoe just shook his head. "And I think Rowan has already been corrupted."

The blush that deepened on Rowan's cheeks made Lorcan laugh, but Rhoe merely sighed, telling Lorcan he still needed to leave.

“These two are going to hang out upstairs in Aelin’s room," Rhoe said, "And I am going to catch up on some work.”

“We are?” Aelin asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

“With the door open,” Rhoe warned. “The rules haven’t changed.”

“Except for later curfew,” Aelin reminded him of the conversation they’d had last week, begging to extend her hours until midnight this year. They compromised at 10 on weekdays, but midnight on weekends.

“Except for later curfew,” Rhoe repeated back to her, ignoring the way Lorcan grumbled as he got his things together. “See you in the morning, trainee,” her dad said, sending Lorcan off with a salute.

“Yes, sir,” Lorcan replied automatically. He wrapped his arms around Aelin from behind and whispered in her ear, “Have funnnn,” causing her to elbow him off of her. She didn’t know how she’d ended up with an older brother this summer, but somehow she had. And sometimes he was really annoying.

“So…” Rowan began, standing suddenly. “Upstairs?”

Aelin nodded and watched him grin and sprint up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Aelin took them slower, climbing them one at a time, and she wasn’t surprised to see Rowan already laid out on her bed when she made it to her room. His face was buried into her pillow, inhaling deeply as he groaned, “I missed your smell. Like flowers and lemons.” He rolled onto his back, a big dopey grin on his face, his green eyes lit up with mischief as he asked her, “Do you want to come kiss me?” His hand patted the comforter next to him, but Aelin shook her head.

“Not in the slightest.”

Though she’d tried to make it sound like a joke, it was clear it hadn’t landed. Rowan sat up quickly, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Okay, now I know you’re mad at me.”

And Aelin exploded. She couldn’t bear to keep it all inside for one more second.

“Of COURSE I’m mad!”

“Can you tell me why?” Rowan asked, standing up and coming closer. But Aelin put her hand up to stop him. She couldn’t think if he got too close. And now that she’d cracked, she needed to explain herself. But the emotions were spilling out, pouring over in tidal waves, and she was having a hard time articulating the right answer.

“Because! This wasn’t supposed to happen!” she exclaimed, but Rowan just looked at her like she was crazy.

“What wasn’t supposed to happen?”

“No, that’s not…” she took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. “We had a plan, and the plan wasn’t – fuck!” Then it was her turn to start to pace. Why couldn’t she just string a god damned sentence together.

“What?” he asked, pushing her to tell him more, his eyes probing for more information as his hands came to rest on either one of her cheeks, steadying her with his concerned face. “What?” he asked again, and Aelin shook her head, letting a tear fall down her cheek. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. Rowan’s thumb swiped against her skin softly, moving the wetness away. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “What did I do?”

She steeled herself, took a deep breath and looked up. “We were supposed to go to college together,” she said, hoping her voice wasn’t shaking as much as it felt.

“I…” Rowan’s hands dropped from her cheeks as his broad shoulders tensed. “You’re mad that I got into college? I thought you’d be proud of me… You know how worried I was, and it’s my shot to actually do something with my life.”

“No…no, no… that’s not…” Aelin took another breath. “I am so proud of you, Ro. Wendlyn is incredible.” She watched as the tension drained from his muscles at her words. “I just thought the plan was to go to college together.”

“It is,” Rowan insisted, but Aelin shook her head.

“I can’t get into Wendlyn,” she finally admitted out loud what had been plaguing her all night. “That’s a top school. And even if I did get in, it’s a private school. I have no idea how I’d afford it. And I certainly can’t get a scholarship to a school like that.”

Rowan looked struck for the first time. As if he hadn’t considered Aelin’s words. As if he’d just assumed that she’d be able to go to the school he got into, no matter how exclusive and elite it was.

“There are so many schools by Wendlyn,” Rowan finally said. “Mistward is filled with them. There’s Doranelle and Varese and Mt. Cambria and College of Rivers. So, you could be nearby, even if you don’t get into Wendlyn.”

“So you admit, you don’t think I can get into Wendlyn,” Aelin said defiantly, and she thought that Rowan’s eyes were going to pop out of his head with frustration as he threw his large arms up into the air and then back down again.

“You just said you didn’t think you could get in!” he said, exasperated. But Aelin could only hear the negatives ringing in her head, unwilling to hear what he was really saying. “Ace,” he said steadily. “We promised, no matter what, we’d make this work. This is no exception. You’re mad at me over nothing.”

“I’m mad at you because I love you,” Aelin said. “Because I want to be with you forever, and the idea of four years apart makes me want to cry.”

“Please don’t cry,” Rowan said, but it was too late. Tears had started falling down Aelin’s cheeks again. “We’re going to be together forever. We are,” Rowan insisted. “No matter what. Forever." Aelin nodded through her sniffles, feeling overwhelmed and a little stupid at her outburst. "Can I kiss it better?” Rowan asked, rubbing his nose against hers.

Aelin sniffed loudly, laughing at the feel of his nose poking at her. “Only if you take your sweatshirts back and make them smell like you again,” Aelin said.

His answering smile was blinding, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared as he moved his mouth to hers. Ready to kiss it better.

She accepted his kisses readily, letting his arms wrap around her waist and pull her close. He had to duck down to reach her mouth, and she had to tilt her head to the sky, but no matter what, kissing Rowan always felt like a soothing balm on her weary soul. His lips healed her aches and bruises, the cracked edges of her anger and sadness smoothing over with each caress of his tongue against hers. They stood there, kissing until Aelin’s tears dried and a new ache formed in her chest – one of longing and hunger. Her hands played with the ends of his hair, relishing in the sounds that came out of his mouth, tugging him tighter, and refusing to let him go until they were startled by the loud sound of Rhoe’s boot stomping up the stairs.

They parted quickly, wiping at their mouths and faces as Rhoe appeared in the open doorway.

“It’s late,” was all Rhoe said. But Rowan understood.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Rowan asked, and Aelin nodded, the small tendril of sadness sneaking its way back out as he stepped away from her. As if he could sense it, he leaned back in and kissed her again, not caring that Rhoe was standing right there. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Aelin countered.

“Impossible,” Rowan said, kissing Aelin again until Rhoe was forced to clear his throat loudly.

“She kissed your picture goodnight every night you were gone,” Rhoe said, trying to hide his own smile beneath his hand.

“DAD!” Aelin’s cheeks heated as Rowan’s face lit up.

“Me too,” he said, smiling as he said it. As he was turning to leave, Aelin remembered the bag in her closet and ran to grab it.

“Wait!” she exclaimed, shoving the bag full of hoodies back at him. “You know what to do,” she said, lifting herself up on her toes to kiss him one last time and wrapping his hand around the bag’s handle.

“Goodnight, Rowan,” Rhoe laughed.

Aelin sighed loudly and collapsed onto her bed as Rowan made his way downstairs, and she couldn’t help but smile as her phone lit up with a text from her boyfriend before he even pulled out of her driveway.

Forever, Ace. We’ll figure it out.

The bed dipped beside her as Rhoe sat and turned toward her, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Want to tell me what that was all about?”

“No?”

But Rhoe wasn’t letting her off the hook anymore. He’d endured the weirdness downstairs, and then she was sure he heard them shouting. She was sure he was dying to know what was going on between them, especially since they parted with kind kisses and flushed faces.

Aelin groaned as she fell back onto her pillow, but she couldn’t help but smile as she smelled faint traces of Rowan’s bodywash there. Yeah. She’d missed that scent, too.

“Fireheart?” her dad asked, poking at her side.

“It’s nothing,” Aelin said, propping herself up onto her elbows.

“It didn’t sound like nothing,” Rhoe replied, raising an eyebrow. Fuck. Aelin knew he’d heard the shouting from downstairs. She’d hoped the television would drown them out, but of course it hadn’t.

“Rowan is going to Wendlyn.”

“I know,” Rhoe said. “Pretty awesome, right?”

“Yeah,” Aelin sighed. “Awesome.”

“Or, not awesome?” he prodded. Aelin collapsed back to the bed, staring at the ceiling as she unloaded onto her dad.

“Awesome for him, for sure. Not so awesome for me, who definitely can’t get into that school.”

“Says who?” Rhoe asked.

Aelin chuckled without humor. “Um, everyone? We’ve had two valedictorians get rejected from there. Somehow I don’t think little old me with my A’s and B’s is going.”

“Hmm,” was all Rhoe said.

And nothing else.

Aelin couldn’t stand it. She sat back up and looked at her dad, who was staring at her thoughtfully. “What?” she asked.

He shrugged and shook his head, rubbing his hand against his beard which desperately needed to be shaved.

“I just didn’t expect you to be such a defeatist,” Rhoe said. “I thought you were a fighter, who liked a challenge.”

“There’s a difference between liking a challenge and being delusional, dad,” Aelin said with a scoff, but his sentiment prickled at her skin.

“I don’t know about that, Fireheart.” He paused. “I don’t think it’s delusional to try. What happened to the girl who refused to go to sleep until she learned the top hundred most difficult words to spell?”

“She was ten, and she didn’t even make it past the first round of the spelling bee because she forgot tomorrow has only one ‘m’ in it.”

That brought a wide smile to her dad’s face. “Yeah, but you were so driven. Still are.” He laughed. “You’ve always been an overachiever. Weren’t you the only junior in a senior math class last year?”

“Yes…” Aelin admitted. She was good at math. She always had been. This year she’d be taking an Advanced Placement calculus class, and she didn’t know who else would even be in it.

“The only thing you’ve ever wanted I’ve seen you not go for… is Rowan.”

That made Aelin pause. It was true. She usually had no problem shooting for the moon, but when it came to Rowan, she suddenly questioned everything about herself. She thought she’d outgrown that insecurity, but at the mention of his college admission, it came rushing back to her. Could she actively squash that insecurity? She didn’t know.

“So,” Rhoe continued, “what would you need to do to be a competitive applicant to Wendlyn?” he asked.

“Seriously?” Aelin couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but her dad nodded. “Okay, well… I’d probably have to make my course load way harder, to weight my GPA. And I’d need to get A’s in all of them. And I don’t even know if it’s too late to do that.”

The edge of Rhoe’s lips curled into a small smile. “Okay, well, let’s say it’s not, and you do that. What else?”

“I’d need a direction. Something to make me stand out. An extracurricular or volunteer work or a job, or all three that all tied together somehow.”

“Last I heard, Petrah was begging you to come back and take more classes. Think she might have a job for you, too?” he asked, and suddenly Aelin’s mind was reeling with possibilities. She wanted to temper her excitement, though. She couldn’t just assume she could make this happen.

“Lots of kids dance, dad,” she said.

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But I doubt many of them learned all of Clara’s choreography in sixth grade just in case the understudy and Clara were both sick.” That made Aelin laughed. She remembered practicing the twirls in the studio, following along the choreography until she knew it just as well as her snowflake dance. “You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take,” Rhoe finally said.

“That was cheesy, Dad.”

But she was smiling. He was right. Maybe it wasn’t likely that she’d get into Wendlyn. Hell, it was the longest shot she could possibly imagine. But she had to try. Not just for Rowan, but for her, too.

“Alright, what else?” Rhoe asked, and Aelin got out her journal, ready to make a list of everything she needed to do to try and hold onto her dream. She wasn’t willing to let it slip away. Not yet.

~*~

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 15) - Trouble In Paradise

Summary: The reader is enjoying settling into her newfound children’s book career and shares how important the bracelet she gave Jensen is to her. A rainy day allows the reader to enjoy her shift into motherhood despite all of the bumps that go with it. But not everything is smooth sailing for the happy couple...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, mention of past abuse, nightmares, major angst

A/N: Uh oh. Big uh oh. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

Two Weeks Later

“Honey bun,” sang Jensen as he stepped into your home office you’d set up in the small reading room in the house. “Must you work today?”

“I do occasionally have to work on that drawing thing,” you said. He pouted and laid out on the daybed, picking up a copy of the third book. “Give me another hour to finish with these pages.”

“Can I hang out and watch you draw?” he asked.

“Knock your socks off,” you said. You picked up your stylus again and went back to your pad, Jensen sitting up and watching from the other side of the room. “You can sit closer if you want.”

He got up and pulled over a chair, crossing his legs in it.

“I basically draw using my stylus and this pad and it shows up on my laptop screen,” you said.

“We could get you a better screen, like your own separate work computer. I know your stories are picking up a lot of steam.”

“I’m okay for now. All I need to do is finish illustrating this book and my five book deal is done and ready for print,” you said.

“Can I make a request?”

“I would love to put in a giraffe for Zepp but the story takes place in the woods,” you said.

“Baby giraffe? Maybe just in the background?” he asked.

You backed out of your current page and went to the last two where the foxes and wolves were playing with their friends. You tapped on a tree and erased it, sketching out a loose shape.

“Look up a giraffe for me?” you asked. He tapped away on his phone and pulled up a picture. “Thanks.”

You drew a picture of a rough giraffe, softening it some before adding colors.

“You’re really good at that,” he said.

“The characters are easy. Backgrounds can get boring,” you said. You went back to your original set of pages and worked quietly, Jensen watching carefully. “Yes?”

“Just wanna spend time with you is all,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Okay, baby,” you said. You worked for another hour, Jensen asking the occasional question but mostly staying silent and close by. After you sent off the pages for review you turned to him, Jensen offering a soft smile in return. “All set with work for the day.”

“Awesome,” he said.

“Where’s the munchkins?”

“A movie,” he said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he leaned into it. “Tell me a secret.”

“A secret? I don’t think I have too many of those left from you,” you said. He opened his eyes and looked at you through his lashes. “What?”

“You said you got this on vacation,” he said, holding up his wrist, the bracelet you’d put on him two weeks ago still there. “When we were down there, I was talking to Ray and he kinda implied it wasn’t just a souvenir.”

“I was upset that day when he bought it for me. It meant I was safe was all,” you said.

“How long after did your mom…”

“A few months. She went on bed rest after that trip.”

“Y/N, I know when you’re holding back, honey. I would never judge or tell anyone anything. You know that.”

“You got hurt because you lost someone and you got hurt and it sucks right? But it’s kinda like something happened and then you heal from it right?”

“Yeah…” he said. “What don’t I know?”

“You know how anxious you were to get in the car and drive down to the beach?” you asked as he nodded. “You’ve never been afraid of a person, Jensen. It’s like that feeling...but everyday and you’re expected to live your life normally when you constantly have that over your head.”

He was quiet, glancing past you as the room grew darker from some passing clouds outside.

“Canada wasn’t the first time you saw your father since you were adopted, was it,” he said.

“You wouldn’t believe what a good lawyer and shitty laws will do for a piece of shit like that,” you said.

“You were a kid.”

“With zero physical evidence. Everything was circumstantial. So he got out and he came to apologize or some bullshit and Ray decked him.”

“The more I learn about Ray, the more I like him.”

“My mom kicked him in the nuts.”

“I really like that woman,” he said. You smiled and he moved his chair closer, pulling you into his lap. “I don’t mean to make you talk about your dad. I was curious was all.”

He went to take off the bracelet when you put a hand over it.

“I don’t want to remind you of something bad, sweetheart.”

“Like I said, I was upset. Very upset and in public and I went down to the beach to try to hide away. Ray bought that for me and told me I was safe when he put it on me. All it means to me is that you’re safe.”

“What about you? What do you have?” he asked quietly. You cocked your head and moved your hand to rest over his chest. “Alright, sort of a dumb question.”

“Not dumb,” you said, trailing your fingers down his chest.

“Guess you’ll just have to stay as close as humanly possible.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” you said.

“Do you have a restraining order against your father?”

“No but that’s only because Ray managed to get him kicked out of the country. He found some loophole law. He was born in the Yukon so technically he’s not American and he got him kicked back.”

“Scratch that. Ray is my new favorite person,” he said. “If only we could send him someplace we’ll never visit like...a deserted island. Or Hell.”

“I appreciate the thought but I’m not scared of him anymore,” you said. “I am however afraid our plans of lunch at the brewery are going to get rained out.”

“We can enjoy ourselves right here. I’ve never heard a complaint yet about my grilling.”

“You know what? I got the perfect idea.”

“Okay,” said Jensen, sliding the foil packet off the grill and onto JJ’s plate. You’d decided to have lunch on the grill, sitting out under the covered back patio off the playroom. It was pouring rain but you were plenty dry there. “Chicken, marinara sauce and cheese. Then we got chicken, ketchup and baby carrots for Arrow. Zeppy wanted to try barbecue sauce and onion which sounded good to me and then Y/N went for the salmon and lemon.”

You helped the twins open up their foil packets and get their food on their plates, dicing up the chicken for them before going to your own plate.

“Daddy,” said Zeppelin while he chewed on a big piece of chicken. Jensen hummed and worked on his own food. “Can we play race cars after lunch?”

“Sure,” he said, JJ shaking her head.

“I don’t wanna play cars,” she said. Zeppelin stared at her and his bottom lip wobbled. “You’re a cry baby.”

“JJ, that’s rude,” you said, Jensen glancing at you and nodding. “Apologize to your brother.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“We’re gonna play cars after lunch and you’re welcome to join,” said Jensen. “Your brother goes along with what you girls want to play quite a bit so I think you can do the same for him.”

“I still don’t wanna play cars,” she mumbled.

“You play cars with the Padalecki boys all the time,” you said.

“Not little kid cars,” she said. “He doesn’t know how to play right.”

You saw Zeppelin getting upset again and sighed.

“There’s no wrong way to play,” you said. “Zepp’s littler than you. You gotta be the big sister and do what he wants sometimes.”

“Mom would have played dress up,” she grumbled. “Not stupid cars.”

“Enough,” said Jensen. “You’re old enough to know better.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Your brother wants to play cars. We played horses all morning long and you barely let him have a turn at that so like I said, we’re gonna play what he wants and you are welcome to join us but if you don’t want to, you can play something else,” he said. 

“Baby,” she said under her breath. Jensen didn’t catch it but you did.

“JJ you’re in timeout after lunch. Ten minutes,” you said. 

“I didn’t-”

“You just called him a baby. You want to make it fifteen?” you asked.

“You’re not my mom! You can’t give me timeouts,” she said.

“Half an hour now,” said Jensen. She stared at him and he shook his head. “Eat your lunch.”

Zeppelin spent half of it crying quietly and JJ barely touched hers before she was following Jensen inside. You threw your head back and sighed before you went inside to get some tissues. When you came back out Arrow was hugging him tightly.

“Let’s clean you up, buddy,” you said as you squatted down beside them. She let go of him and you wiped off his face and helped him blow his nose. “Feel better?”

“We can play dress up,” he said. You picked him up and hoisted him on your hip. 

“We’re gonna play cars. Arrow, do you want to play with us?” you asked. She smiled and nodded. “Hey how about you go wash your hands and then you can bring out the bucket of cars and we’ll play out here. How’s that sound Zepp?”

“Okay,” he said. Arrow went inside and you carried him around as you collected the trash and threw it in the bag you brought out. You tied it up and left it in the corner to put in the bin later before you you walked to the edge of the covered patio, rain coming down at a decent rate. “Y/N you’re my mom right?”

“I’m one of your moms,” you said. “I’m gonna adopt you that way everybody can know I am though.”

“Cool,” he said softly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Mom can we play in the rain?”

“Hear any thunder?” you asked. He shook his head. “See any lightning?”

“Nuh uh,” he said.

“Then we can play in the rain all you want,” you said. You walked out to the grass and spun around with him, getting a giggle out of him. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” he asked. You spun around again and he laughed.

“There it is again!” you said. He giggled and you spun around a few times until you were dizzy and took a seat. He hugged you and kissed your cheek as you noticed Jensen leaning against the post of the patio. He was smiling and you hopped up with Zeppelin, waving him around in the air until you were back under cover. You set him down and he ran over to Arrow, picking out his favorite cars from the bucket and handing her some. 

“Well that might have been one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen,” he said. 

“You took a picture, didn’t you.”

“Oh several,” he said. He glanced back at the twins and then at you. “It clicked for you just now didn’t it.”

“Being a mom? Yeah.”

“You didn’t look to me on how to discipline JJ and you made him feel better and you made him laugh. You went full mom there and I’ve kinda been waiting for that.”

“I know it’s just playing they’re arguing over but I just hate...there is so much of you in him,” you said.

“I know and that feeling will never go away but it means you love ‘em and loving them is my only requirement for us working so this was actually a really good thing.”

“Those two are so sweet,” you said.

“It’s the twin thing. Oh what fun we have to look forward to when they are teenagers and they lie to us for one another,” he chuckled.

“Yeah but I’ll take it. Did you really give her a half hour timeout?”

“Fifteen minutes. She needs to share more and he doesn’t like confrontation so he goes along with what she wants but it’s not her road or the highway.”

“She’s been a little…”

“I know. Since we told them about the engagement,” he said. “We gotta talk to her on her own.”

“Let me take a crack at her first?” you asked.

“You got a hunch?”

“I don’t think having a mom again is a problem. I think the idea of losing a mom again is.”

“That makes sense considering she was attached to your hip before all this.”

“I’m gonna go see if I can get to the bottom of this. Now go play cars,” you said. He kissed your cheek and you headed inside, drying off some with a towel in the laundry room before you went up to JJ’s bedroom. You knocked and cracked open the door, catching her splayed out on her bed. “JJ. Can we talk?”

She rolled and put her back to you. You sat down on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.

“You know your brother did what you wanted all day. You have to share,” you said. She didn’t say anything and you lay back on the bed, turning your head. She rolled back the other way and you sat up. She rolled again and you tilted your head back. “JJ do you want me to be your mom?”

“No,” she mumbled. 

“Are you lying?” She didn’t move and you sat back, her face scrunched up. “Are you scared if I’m your mom something bad will happen to me?”

“I don’t want two dead moms,” she said. 

“I have two dead moms,” you said. She blinked her eyes open and sat up. “My first mom, I never met her. She died giving birth to me.”

“You only had a dad when you were born?” she asked. You nodded and pulled her into your lap. “Did he get married again?”

“No. My dad was very mad my mom died. He took that out on me. He was a bad guy. He went to jail and I got adopted by my mom when I was your age. Ray was her boyfriend. He acted like he was my dad in a lot of ways. I was sixteen when my mom died. I understand it hurts, sweetie, and that it’s scary and you don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

“I thought if I was bad you and daddy wouldn’t...and then I don’t have to feel bad again.”

“I am so sorry honey but you can’t stop that feeling from never coming back. The only way you could not get it would be to not love anyone or anything and that’s not a life at all. It’s the price you pay for loving someone. Your mom was an accident. But Daddy is young and I’m even younger and I promise you will not have to feel that way about me for a very, very long time.”

“How long?”

“How about fifty years?”

“Fifty years? That’s forever,” she said. 

“I’ll give you fifty years if I can be your mom and you stop picking on Zepp. Deal?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I made him cry.”

“I’m not the one that needs an apology,” you said. “Now do you want stay in here all by yourself or do you want to come play with us?”

“I can play?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” you said. You got up and carried her down on your back, setting her down to let her run off out to the porch. Jensen got up from his seat and held up a finger, ducking back inside to where you were.

“That’s what I like to see,” he said as she gave Zeppelin a hug and he handed her a car.

“I did have to promise not to die for fifty years.”

“Fifty? You got off easy. I had to promise a hundred after the accident,” he chuckled. “I should have noticed she was scared.”

“I have more experience being a scared little girl than you do. I got experience with letting people get close again too,” you said.

“How’s that working out for ya?” he smirked.

“He’s lucky he’s hot,” you said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and grinned. “Do you want to get married in the fall?”

“This fall?” he asked.

“Can we pull it off that fast?” you asked.

“Yeah. We don’t have to book a venue which is the hardest part. I don’t see why not. What’s the rush?” he asked.

“It’s easier to adopt them if we’re married,” you said. “I don’t really want to wait longer than we have to if that’s alright.”

“I’d say let’s go drive down to city hall and get a justice of the peace right now if I knew my mother wouldn’t kill me for it. How about I call up the lawyer and ask him to start prepping the paperwork as if we already were so it’s all set to go,” he said.

“You have a lawyer?” you asked. “They’d do that?”

“Y/N, honey. My taxes alone frighten me not to mention I own a business with employees and what qualifies as a business write off still confuses me and wait you don’t have a lawyer for your book deal?”

“Should I have one?” 

“Greg is your lawyer now,” he said. “He’s good. He’ll do all the paperwork for us.”

“Oh good cause all the forms online were confusing the hell out of me,” you said. He shook his head and pulled you in close. 

“Silly goose,” he said, a loud boom of thunder shaking the house. “Let’s get the crew inside before it pours.”

“Who wants to build a fort?” you asked that afternoon. JJ jumped up and down on the couch and Jensen walked in with an arm full of blankets and sheets. Three little hands shot up and Jensen lazily tossed the blankets on the couch, covering the three of them.

“Hm, where’d those three munchkins run off to…” he said, Arrow ducking her head out first, hair all in her face. Jensen giggled and she rolled her eyes, the other two climbing out. “Alright. I’m gonna grab clothes pins and a few more things. You guys start designing.”

You stood back and let JJ organize, figuring out her first choice of blanket for a roof was too small. Jensen returned with a bag of clips, some twine and the step ladder, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.

“How they doing?” he whispered.

“Picking out the roof,” you said, Arrow rushing over and grabbing his hand as Zeppelin climbed on JJ’s back and held up a sheet over the two of them with one hand. You smirked and she let out another eye roll.

“Daddy, can you pick up Zeppy so then he can put the blankie up? I told them they’re too small,” she said.

“Sure,” he said. “Tell me where you want it to go.”

Twenty minutes later the family room was covered with sheets, tied off to the stairs, chairs, the ceiling fan after Jensen broke out the larger ladder to get up there and assured you it wouldn’t bring the whole thing crashing down. 

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” asked JJ. 

“I don’t see why not,” you said. “There’s plenty of room on the couch. We’ll bring down your comforters when it’s bedtime,” you said.

“Can we watch Cars?” asked Zeppelin, glancing at JJ. 

“Okay,” she said. She gave him a hug and picked him up, Jensen smiling to himself as he looked on.

“Can we get pizza for dinner like a real sleepover?” asked Arrow. 

“We did cook up all the chicken at lunch,” you said, giving Jensen a side eye.

“Yeah we’ll get one,” he said. “Why don’t you turn on your movie okay? We’ll be right there.”

You let Jensen pull you into the kitchen, smirking as he picked you up and sat you on the counter.

“Seems like today’s crisis has been averted,” you said.

“I’m sure they’ll go back to tormenting each other tomorrow but I’ll take it,” he said, reaching into the drawer next to you, pulling out a menu. “So. You interested in pizza?”

“Oh that looks interesting,” you said, taking the pamphlet out of his hand and tapping at a special. “One cheese, one speciality, boneless wings and garlic bread? My little carb loving heart is in love.”

“She’s not the only one,” he said, leaning up on his tip toes and kissing you. 

“Are you coming?” groaned JJ from in the fort. You shook your head and Jensen kissed your neck, even nibbling before he pulled back. You smacked his chest and he set the menu down, giving you a wink.

“We’re coming in right now. Don’t wait for us kiddo.”

You woke up sweating, Jensen shushing you, arms wrapped around you. You took a deep breath and caught the clock said it was almost three. You turned in his arms and buried your head in his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your back.

“You’re okay. Bad dream is all,” he said softly. You nodded and started to relax, flinching when there was more thunder. “Hey, it’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get ya.”

The thunder shook the house and you tensed up. Jensen pulled the covers over both your heads and you crammed in as close as humanly possible when more thunder hit.

“Honey look at me. Please look at me.” You lifted your head and saw a horrible face in front of you, a scream ripping out of your throat.

“Y/N,” you heard as you woke up absolutely drenched, Jensen’s hands on your face. “Honey, talk to me. Can you hear me?”

“Night terror,” you said quietly. 

“Yeah, JJ used to have them. I didn’t know adults could get them,” he said. 

“Can I have a cold washcloth? And some water?” you asked. He got out of bed and padded into the bathroom in his boxers, settling back into bed and handing you the water. You drank it down while he wiped off your face and neck, running it over your head. “Thanks.”

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Mostly feel embarrassed.” He frowned and you put the glass on your nightstand, staring down at your sweaty shirt. 

“Should I call Ray?”

“It was a stupid nightmare. I’m fine,” you said.

“You were sat up eyes wide open and talking and shouting and I couldn’t wake you up,” he said. “I know adults really shouldn’t be getting night terrors so maybe something triggered you or something during the day.”

“I know my triggers and I know when it’s just a stupid nightmare. Back off,” you said. You got out from under the hot covers and went outside to the balcony, the air nice and cool from the storm earlier. The slide of the door was loud in the the quiet and you rubbed your arm. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve seen you have nightmares. That was a lot worse,” he said.

“I thought I saw someone watching the house earlier.”

“What?”

“It was the neighbor’s kid, the teenager. It was his friend and he came over late but I thought...it freaked me out. That on top of thinking about the fact my father is not rotting in a jail cell most likely sent me over the edge,” you said. He walked in front of you, resting his hands on your arms. “I’m okay. Needed some air was all.”

“Alright. Tell me if something like that happens again?” he asked. You hummed and he gave you a kiss. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s head on back to bed.”

“What do you mean?” you growled into the phone the next evening. Jensen lifted his head from his book in the family room and you walked away, stepping out to the private patio area on the side of the house. “That’s not possible.”

“It’s been fifteen years. He has every legal right to be in the country.”

“In the country! He got an apartment seven minutes from where I live!” you said. “I have little kids here, Finn. Tell me there’s something I can do.”

“I can get a restraining order-”

“That doesn’t mean shit to him. I need him fucking deported. I need him gone.”

“Y/N, you know me. I have never agreed to it but he paid his debt as it was assigned and he quietly followed the law. He did what he was supposed to and I’m sorry but until he does something, I can’t do anything besides help you and your fiance’s family get a restraining order.”

“So until he does something horrible again, I can’t do anything about it.”

“Y/N.”

“No Finn. I appreciate the heads up but...I have to go.”

You hung up and squeezed your phone tight. He knew where you lived. He was minutes away and there was absolutely zero help until something went wrong. You sat on a bench and bounced your leg. Nothing could go wrong. You couldn’t let anything go wrong. Who knew what the son of a bitch would do to any one of them.

You stopped bouncing your leg just as you heard the door open. You lifted your head and stood, spinning around to Jensen standing there.

“Everything alright?”

“Actually no.”

“Who was on the phone?”

“My ex,” you said, swallowing. You crossed your arms and thought of the things Jensen had told you about acting and getting in character and all that. You were gonna destroy him. Fuck you were going to end up shattering him into a thousand pieces he’d never put back together. 

You couldn’t really lie just to keep them away from him, could you? 

You saw Arrow run past in the house and made your face hard. Broken heart but safe kids was worth it.

“I thought you didn’t talk to him anymore,” said Jensen. You turned up your chin and he smiled. “You are the worst actress in the world. Who was it really?”

“I think we’re moving too fast and I want to take a break and I would appreciate it if you gave me my space to figure this out on my own.”

“Uh, what?” he said. You brushed past him and he followed you in, all the way up to your bedroom. You got out a bag and he flipped it shut. “What the hell is going on? Who was on the phone?”

“My boyfriend,” you said. He stared at you and you sighed. “You’re a great guy but I’m sorry. I can’t do the house and kids thing. I want to go see the world and not be tied down and you’re just...you’re too damn old for me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Maybe you should have trusted your first instincts when you saw me and Doug,” you said. He stared at you while you shoved some clothes in a bag. You slung it over your shoulder and he caught the backside of it. You took off your ring and put it on the table by the door, Jensen dropping his hand. “I just can’t do this anymore. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I really need to go.”

______

A/N: Read Part 16 here!

[hes-writer]

deja vu

Summary: part two of drivers license!

Warning: angst

Word Count: 1643 words

let me know if you liked it!

_____

If this was a movie, Y/N would’ve collapsed on the floor, knees hitting the ground as her legs lost the ability to keep her weight up. The corners of her lips would tilt downwards as a fusion of sadness and nostalgia bombarded her at every corner. Tears would collect at her waterline, waiting for the remarkable blink that would send each drop of salty liquid down the apples of her cheeks. Y/N imagined she would call Harry on her phone and scream at him as soon as the click sounded, signalling that he had picked up the call.

Yet as seconds passed by, none of those theatrical episodes happened.  Unlike in the movies, Y/N’s physical reactions were minuscule. Her heart ached in her chest. Her throat scrunched like a wad of tissue papers in her hand, drying up with shock and the shallow inhales she let out.  The swirling of her stomach increased tenfold as she teetered between feelings of anger and indifference.  This should not affect her anymore--or should it? It had barely been a few months since she last saw him and a little bit after when the first photos of Harry and his girlfriend went viral on the internet.

Everyone, especially him, seemed to move on from the relationship that they had shared.  Y/N felt like she needed to catch up to him, racing to throw away the feelings she still held for him and to pretend as though nothing happened.  But it was easier said than done.  There were still endless memories that replayed through her head every time she passed by an ice cream shop.  It was a hidden gem, past the popular hot spots.  Not a lot of people knew about it because of its distanced location.  And as much as Harry was a certified health nut; his guilty pleasure was a scoop of strawberry ice cream--in a cup instead of a waffle cone, of course.

Y/N still remembered those drives-turned-beach-trips.  It was mostly during his days off.  She and Harry would spend the whole day together, sharing one spoon amongst each other while they passed the cup of ice cream back and forth. The sound of the ocean encompassed them as they lay hidden around an alcove of rocks. It was a secluded area of the beach that Y/N had found way before.  The sand was grainy beneath the layer of a checkered picnic blanket that Harry kept at the trunk of his car, their bodies laying on top of it.  Eventually, Harry would proceed to just spoon-feed her, ‘accidentally’ nudging her nose with the cold treat.

.

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.

.

Y/N could feel her shoulders slump at the flashback, body sagging as she sighed at what her phone screen was reflecting back to her.  It was her Instagram feed showcasing Harry’s profile. A picture of a haunting landscape was captured by his phone lens; it was the very same beach spot that she had taken him to.  Deja vu.

She bit her lip, wanting to smile about how he still visited it even without her.  It showed that Harry still kept a memory of her at the back of his mind.  Y/N’s heart fluttered at the thought, a sliver of hope shining through the dimness of her days. But it was impossible to keep an optimistic stance when she saw the caption.  A simple tag of his new girlfriend’s Instagram handle puckered her lips into a sour expression, brows pinching together in curiosity as Y/N continuously denied the obvious constituent of events.

“There’s no way,” She muttered, breath hitching as Y/N’s thumb hesitated on tapping the bolded font.

There was absolutely no way that Harry would bring someone else in such a coveted spot.  It was hers; she found it first and now he was acting as though it did not hold any meaning to her.  Not like Y/N didn’t spend the last few days laying on his lap, watching the sunset over the horizon. Harry’s fingers would comb through her tendrils, tucking his jacket tighter around her chin to ensure that she was warm despite him being covered in goosebumps himself. Y/N would look up to see the beginning stubbles of his facial hair as Harry looked ahead, his green eyes mirroring the artistic hues of orange, pink and purple.

“What’s up, Y/N?” Jenny asked, returning from her short trek to Y/N’s small kitchen. One hand was carrying a large bowl of chips while the other held two cans of soda.

Y/N stared at her friend with hesitance.  Was it worth bringing it up? She must be sick of her talking about him all the time.

“He brought her to our place,”

It was harder to hear it out loud.  She didn’t even recognize her own voice; void of emotion except for a strained sound of pain.

Jenny tilted her head to the side, “Who did?”

“Harry. . .” Y/N cleared her throat before continuing, “There was this place I found in Malibu. At a beach.  It’s pretty hidden and I used to go there by myself whenever I needed to think. I took him there.  It was our place, you know? Somewhere only the two of us knew and I don’t know,” She trailed off.

“You thought he would keep it between you guys,” Jenny finished off, nodding her head in empathic comprehension.

“Yeah, it just sucks,” Y/N furrowed her brows, staring at the space in front of her as she took in the gravity of the situation. “He even took her to D’Campos,”

“The ice-cream shop?”

She nodded, “It was on her Instagram story today,”

“Forget about him, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve your tears,”

“I’m not even crying,” She chuckled, slapping Jenny’s arm jokingly.

“You look like you’re about to,”

Y/N sighed, “It hurts.  Feels like he’s everywhere.  Just when I thought I was moving on, he pulls shit like this and I’m forced to remember how good it was between us, you know? I haven’t driven past D’Campos or anywhere else that I might see him because it hurts too much to reminisce what I don’t have anymore.”

It was ridiculous how much Y/N has had to change her routine in order not to feel any more pain.  She actively avoided places where Harry frequented in fear of confrontation and also because he might be with his girlfriend.  She didn’t know how she could stay stoic seeing their hands clasped together, gazing at each other lovingly when Y/N wanted that from him for herself.

“You’re doing just fine, honey.  Do you know who can’t move on? Him.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s doing fine,” Y/N said sarcastically, resting her back on the couch. “Better, even.”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” Jenny argued, “Out of the two of you, who’s the one always going to the places you shared?”

Y/N opened her mouth to answer but a swift hand in the air caused her to halt.

“It’s him, right?” Jenny answered rhetorically.  “I do not care what you say; that man misses you and it shows.  Harry’s going to where he expects you to be, probably in hopes of running into you. Maybe even because he wants to relive the moments you shared together with her in hopes of him feeling the same way he felt like when he did with you,”

“T-that’s insane. He’s fine without me,” Y/N stuttered out, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.

“First of all, you are in denial. Secondly, you cannot tell me that he doesn’t. He’s practically doing everything you guys used to do with this new girl.  Why? Because he fucking misses you, Y/N.  Hell, you’ve even got the same name.”

“It’s just a coincidence,”

“My ass,” Jenny scoffs, “Answer me something, do you still remember how it felt being there with him?”

Y/N nodded, “Always,”

“Describe it to me,”

Y/N squinted her eyes in suspicion. Where was Jenny going with this?

“Uh, as cheesy as it sounds, I felt happy and free. I could talk about anything without being judged.  He had a way of making me feel comfortable without even saying anything.  When we were together--wherever we were--I could be vulnerable about myself in front of him,”

“Would you do whatever it takes to feel that same way again?”

In a heartbeat, Y/N stated, “Without a doubt.”

“Tell me, if Harry asked you to meet him there right now, would you go?”

Y/N’s breath hitched as she took a moment to process the question. She had just said that she would do whatever it takes to feel the same unconfined emotion again.  So why was she saying ‘no’?

“I-I wouldn’t,”

“Exactly,” Jenny concluded with a quirk of her brow.

“You’re gonna have to explain,”

“Gladly,” Her friend quipped. “You want to feel liberated, vulnerable, and honest again but not necessarily with Harry.  That place meant a lot to you--sure.  But it doesn’t matter.  What counts is who you are with.  Who’s giving you that type of comfortability that you’re able to be just yourself around them. Do you understand?”

Y/N leaned forward in interest.

“You are well aware of that but you won’t accept it. You won’t go with him because you know that it won’t be the same anymore. That’s the first step of moving on.  Once you acknowledge that as much as you miss him, as much as you think you want him to be around, you know better than that. He’s changed and so have you.  He’s searching for that same feeling by going back to the places that you used to go to.  Thinks he will find it there but--,”

“He won’t.” Y/N finished off. “Because she is not me,”

___

[babymetaldoll]

The BAU First online Secret Santa (aka: Rossi vs Zoom)  (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Summary: Rossi might have said too much when he wasn't muted in the BAU online Secret Santa Celebration. And Reid is too embarrassed to face (Y/N) afterward.

Requested: Yes. My boyfriend asked me to write this, and asked for some specific gifts for some team members. (Based on season 7 of Criminal Minds in COVID quarantine).

Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader- feat the whole team 

Warnings: None

Word count: 3K

Masterlist 

.

- “Hello?”- Penelope waved at Rossi, but he didn’t reply. She sighed and stared at the camera on her computer, and nearly started jumping and waving. 

- “Rossi!! Hey!”

- “Penelope??”- Rossi screamed, looking at the screen, unable to find the tab with the Zoom video conference on his navigator. He could hear her but couldn’t see her. 

- “Where are you??”

- “Rossi!! I can’t hear you! you are muted!”- Penelope was already frustrated, and it had been only two minutes. 

Rossi had been struggling using Zoom the whole quarantine. Every online meeting for the last couple of months had been filled with “Rossi, you are muted,” “Rossi, we can see you picking your nose,” “Rossi, you aren’t mute, we can hear you fart.” It had been as frustrating as funny for the team. 

- “Hey!”- Prentiss waved at the camera- “Where’s everybody?”

- “We’ve got Rossi trying to find us and unmute his mic”- Emily chuckled and nodded- “And Hotch just logged in… hey!”

- “Hello everybody”- Aaron Hotchner waved, and his son Jack appeared in the back of the room, waving too. 

- “Did you clean your room?”- he asked his son

- “Yes…”- it was clear Jack was lying

- “So if I go upstairs right now, your room is going to be clean, your bed made, and your toys in their place?- Jack stayed still and just smiled. Slowly, he turned around and ran back to his room. 

- “Hey, how did you change your background?”- Emily asked Garcia, who started explaining how to do it. 

- “Henry! what is it?”- JJ logged into the conversation, but her attention was really on her son, who kept crying somewhere near her. 

- “Hello? Hey? can you hear me?”

- “Hey Spence!!”- Prentiss and Garcia said at the same time and chuckled. 

- “Hello! How’s everybody!”- he smiled and stared at his screen. 

For someone who hated technology, he was pretty comfortable meeting the team online. Maybe because his germaphobic self was glad they didn’t have to go to the BAU if there was a pandemic going on.��  

Germs were worse than technology, which was good to know when it came to his phobias. 

- “Baby girl, what are you doing?”- Derek’s voice interrupted Garcia’s class of “How to change backgrounds one on one.” Emily enjoyed her time switching pictures on his background, laughing, while JJ tried to convince Henry to eat his banana. Hotch was reading a case file, not paying attention to anything going on around him. Rossi was lost and muted still, trying to find the right tab in his browser, and Spencer was reading a book, sipping a cup of coffee.  

- “Hey!!”- (Y/N) waved at the screen and stared at the scene. Everyone in the BAU was on their little bubble.  

- “Hello, hey! How are you?”- Spencer closed the book and waved. (Y/N) blushed and waved back. She just stared at him, and all the memories of their last video call came to mind. 

They had literally spent the night together. They started a video call around seven, then cooked dinner. Spencer actually cooked ‘cos (Y/N) gave him an easy cooking lesson online. Both of them ate spaghetti with homemade bolognese sauce. 

They started talking and talking, drinking tea, and coffee, and cocoa, and more tea. They snuggled on their couches and kept on talking, laughing. Somehow they started reading each other their favorite parts of their favorite books. And somehow, they ended up in their beds, drinking one last cup of tea. They were hugging a pillow, wishing they could actually hug each other, but never saying those words. And so they kept talking until they fell asleep. 

(Y/N) had fallen asleep first. Spencer felt he had bored her ‘till she passed out, but the truth was, she had made her best effort to stay awake but failed at four in the morning. She loved talking with Spencer. She loved Spencer, all of him, including all the facts and statistics he would ramble on for hours. 

If only she knew he felt the same. He could hear her ramble about books and albums she loved. He didn’t know half the bands she talked about but always googled them after their conversations to understand her a little bit better. And to add facts to their next talk. 

.

- “Rossi! Rossi! unmute your mic”- Aaron repeated for the hundredth time during the call, but Rossi still had no idea what he was doing. 

- “Ok, ok, don’t touch anything, I’m hacking into your computer,”- Garcia simply said, already tired of waiting. It wasn’t the first time she had done it during the latest months. I wouldn’t be the last either. 

- “Hello? can you hear me?”

- “Yes, David”- Aaron nodded and almost smiled- “Hello everybody, I trust you are all having a nice day.”

It was their annual Secret Santa, and for the first time, it was online. They had all made sure to mail their presents earlier enough, and everybody had gotten theirs already. It was December 24th, and though it was still just noon, Rossi enjoyed the first whiskey of the day.  

.

- “I sent you all cookies!!”- Penelope clapped and smiled, staring into the camera- “Did you all get it?”

- “Yes!”- they all answered but (Y/N). 

- “No… I didn’t”

- “What?! But I sent them yesterday! the delivery said you had gotten them,”- Penelope explained, but (Y/N) just shook her head. 

- “Sorry Garcia, I just got my Secret Santa present this week, and that’s it”

- “Someone stole your cookies, pretty girl!”- Derek chuckled and took a bit of one of his- “Your lost, ‘cos they are delicious.” 

- “Great… not only I get to spend Christmas alone, now I have to bake my own cookies.”- she groaned and sighed. 

- “What? Alone?”- JJ was in shock- “What about your family? Family get-togethers are allowed this weekend. It just has to be less than ten people in each house.” 

- “They live in Seattle, and I can’t travel ‘cos I don’t wanna expose my grandparents to any risk, so I decided to spend Christmas alone”- (Y/N) cut the team a short smile. They all wide opened their eyes in shock. Christmas alone was never a good plan. 

- “Me and Jack are going to spend it with his grandfather and aunt. We would be glad to have you over.”- Hotch immediately said, and (Y/N) smiled.

- “Thank you, but that’s ok, it’s just Christmas…”- that really didn’t sound good. 

- “I’m gonna be alone too,”- Spencer texted her ‘cos he didn’t want to say it in front of the team- “Do you wanna spend Christmas with me? I can save you some cookies”. 

(Y/N) chuckled as she read, and Spencer smiled, staring at her. You don’t usually get to see the reaction of the person you text. And he loved it. 

- “Why are you going to be alone?”- she wrote back

- “Same as you, I don’t wanna expose my mom, and she is all the family I’ve got. She’ll spend Christmas with aunt Ethel”. 

- “Hey! (Y/N), are you listening?”- Penelope waved and nearly yelled. 

- “Sorry, what?”- (Y/N) left the phone aside and tried to focus on the team. 

- “JJ was saying you are also welcome to spend it with her mom, Henry, and Will.”

- “Thank you guys, but… I think I’ll be ok.” 

She blushed at those words and made her best not to look at Spencer as she smiled. Which was incredibly useless, ‘cos no one knew where Spencer’s image was on her screen. And at the same time, it was so easy for the team to profile what was going on. That’s why neither of them said another word.

- “Ok, can we start opening presents now?”- Prentiss asked. Her background was now a beach, and she had put on a big hat and sunglasses. Penelope and JJ laughed at her so loud that they didn’t listen when Aaron said they should make a distant toast. 

- “Wait! let me get something to drink!”- (Y/N) stood up quickly and poured herself a cup of tea. 

- “Ok, now I’m ready, sorry”- and when she looked at the screen, Spencer was blushing, and everybody was chuckling. 

- “What did I miss?”

- “Nothing pretty girl”- Derek just smiled- “Let’s do the presents thing… who wants to start?”

- “Henry is pretty restless today, so if you guys don’t mind, I want to start”- JJ waved and showed everybody her present. 

“You have to guess who gave you your present,”- Emily explained and sipped her cup of coffee. 

- “Alright… let’s see… I got this envelope from my Secret Santa and… it’s just what I needed!!”- JJ smiled and nearly jumped on her seat

- “It’s a whole spa day!! Mom needs a day off when this pandemic ends!! thank you, Secret Santa!!” 

- “Who do you think gave you that?”- Penelope asked, and JJ looked at each one of her teammates on the screen.

- I’m gonna go with… Hotch, ‘cos I think he understands exactly what’s like being a parent in quarantine- Aaron chuckled and shook his head. 

- “Sorry, I would have given you that, though, but it wasn’t me.”

- “Then who?”- Rossi raised his hand and smiled

- “I noticed you were a little… stressed last time we talked. I thought maybe when this whole thing ends, you would enjoy a day to treat yourself.”

- “Thank you so much, Rossi. I really appreciate it!!”

 .  

The whole team continued opening their presents and laughed, trying to guess who was their Secret Santa. Hotch got a horrible (and yet adorable) Christmas sweater with a gigantic Rudolph on it and a matching one for Jack. He guessed right away it was from Penelope. 

Hotch bought García a fantastic pair of high heels and confessed he had picked them himself. Aaron Hotchner had a pretty good fashion sense. Who knew? 

Rossi opened his present and laughed, shocked. It was one costly and hard to find Scotch bottle. He thought it was from Emily, but no, it was from (Y/N). 

- “I remembered you said it was your favorite, and I thought maybe you’d like to share it with us next time we have a real get-together in your house.”

- “It’s very nice and naive of you to think I might actually share this present with anyone”- Rossi smiled and waved at the screen- “Thank you, kid.”

Emily got a weekend in Vegas from JJ to make it up for the “Sin to Win” weekend she lost because of a case a few months before. And again, she refused to explain to the team what “Sin to Win” meant. 

Morgan got a life provision of baby oil to rub on his six pack and biceps each time he took his shirt off. It was a joke from Emily, and Rossi nearly had a heart attack laughing at it. Penelope wanted a demonstration, but Derek promised a private show. Prentiss also got him a new kit of tools for home repairs, which always came in handy for him… mostly to fix all the doors he kicked. 

- “And what did you get, Spence?”- JJ asked, now holding Henry in her arms, trying to keep him calm. Reid opened his present and smiled. It wasn’t a happy smile though, it was a “are you fucking kidding me?” smile.   

- “Dating for Dummies”- he said and showed the book- “And I’m pretty sure this is from Morgan.”

- “As soon as this quarantine ends, you and I are going to a club, so you better study that book, ‘cos I’m gonna make you put it on good use.”

Morgan joked, but after all those years, it just wasn’t funny anymore, not for Spencer, at least. 

- “And last but not least, what did you get (Y/N)?”- Penelope’s eyes were shining. She loved Secret Santa. She had forced Hotch to put on his sweater, and he was now feeling like a dork on camera. Garcia, of course, had taken many screen-captures to save that amazing moment. 

- “Well, I’m pretty sure this is from Spencer”- she smiled, ‘cos he was the only one left. He blushed and waved. 

- “I hope you like it”- (Y/N) unwrapped the present carefully and smiled, surprised. 

- “Where did you get this?”- it was an original edition of The Little Prince, in french. It was tough to find. 

- “You said you loved the book ‘cos your mom read it to you when you were a kid, so… I thought you’d like it.”

(Y/N) couldn’t stop going through each page, as a million memories of her childhood came to her mind. Her mother had passed away when she was in high school, and the book meant more to her than anyone could imagine. 

- “Thank you”- she whispered and bit her lip, making her best not to cry. 

- “Jesus Christ! When is he going to tell her he loves her!?”- Rossi nearly yelled. He was in the back of his office, pouring himself a glass of his Secret Santa present. 

The whole team stayed quiet, making their best not to laugh. Spencer wanted to die. He rested his head on the desk and controlled the urge to leave the conversation. 

- “Hey, Rossi… just so you know, you weren’t muted.”- Prentiss managed to say and chuckled. He looked at the screen and stayed quiet. 

- “Ok... I think I’m gonna go now. This Scotch is already getting to my head, so… see you guys!!”- Rossi waved and tried to leave. 

- “Fuck! I hope I didn’t ruin it for the kid. Well, someone had to say it anyway”- he whispered, embarrassed.

- “Rossi, we can still hear you. You didn’t close the conversation, just minimized it”- JJ warned him, and that time, everybody burst out laughing. 

- “Ok, I’m gonna go now…”- Spencer couldn’t even look at (Y/N) anymore. He just waved and closed Zoom. 

- “I’m gonna go too”- (Y/N) whispered- “I hope everybody has a nice holiday!”- she didn’t even wait for anyone to say anything else. She just left the conversation and walked to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. 

What the hell had just happened? 

.

Spencer had a panic attack. What was he supposed to do now? Confess his feelings? Rossi had already done it for him. Should he call (Y/N) and tell her it was just a joke? Tell her the truth? Invite her over for Christmas, again? 

- “Fuck!!”- he shouted and walked to his kitchen. Some whiskey Morgan left last time he visited was still there, and though Reid wasn’t much of a drinker, he needed one. 

He honestly had no idea what to do. He knew he couldn’t face (Y/N) now. How? he would fluster just to be in the same room with her. Rossi really ruined everything. It seemed it was the end of the world. 

- “I’m gonna have to quit, move from DC, change my name, start my life from scratch…” 

Yes, Spencer was making a drama out of the whole situation. But in his defense, he had never been in that kind of situation before. 

.

It was eight pm when Spencer heard a knock on the door. He had been lying on his couch most of the afternoon, trying to read. Still, his mind kept coming back to (Y/N) and the embarrassment he felt after Rossi’s comment.

- “Hi”- (Y/N) whispered as soon as Reid opened the door, and his heart stopped- “You said I could come for Christmas… so…”- he stood still and just nodded. She was there, wearing a Dr. Who mask, with some snowflakes on her coat.  

- “Can I come in?”

- “Sure! I’m sorry, I just…”- Spencer moved from the door and watched her taking off her shoes, leaving a few paper bags on the table, and smiling at him as soon as she removed her mask. 

- “Can I wash my hands?”

- “Of course, the bathroom is…”- Reid stopped himself. She knew where the bathroom was. That wasn’t the first time she was there.    

While she washed her hand, he made his best to clean a little, folded the blanket on his couch, and piled all the books that were lying around. 

- “So… I hope I’m not interrupting anything…”- (Y/N) started apologizing again, but Spencer just shook his head. 

- “No, not at all, I just wasn’t expecting you to come after… what…”- he couldn’t even mention it.

- “After what Rossi said?”- she turned around and avoided looking at Spencer. She walked to the bags she had brought and started taking things out

 - “Should we worry he was getting drunk so early?”- she simply said, and Reid chuckled

- “I don’t know, maybe… what are you doing?”

- “Well… I’m not into chicken tandoori for Christmas, so I cooked some things.”

- “It smells delicious”- Reid smiled, and so did (Y/N), feeling her cheeks blushing. 

- “It’s mom’s turkey recipe, so it better be good”

- “Let me put that in the fridge”- Reid held the turkey, roasted potatoes, and many other things (Y/N) had cooked and walked to the kitchen. 

- “I also got you this”- (Y/N) giggled and followed Spencer. As soon as he left everything he was carrying, she put a Santa hat with red and white stripes on his head.

- “You look like the cat in the hat”- she joked, and Spencer laughed, feeling like the happiest nerd on earth. 

- “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

- “It is…”- (Y/N) stared at him and sighed, both of them smiling in silence for a second. 

- “Did you get one for yourself too?”- he finally asked.

- “Yes! so we can take dorky pictures and send them to Garcia, she is gonna love those”- she made a pause and bit her lips for a second. 

- “So… do you like Christmas traditions?”- she asked and looked down at her shoes 

- “Mmm, sure… like watching Home Alone drinking hot chocolate?- Spencer asked, thinking he hadn’t really lived many Christmas traditions growing up. However, he knew his mother had made her best to make him happy each holiday. 

- “Yeah… that and… maybe this”

(Y/N) took a mistletoe from her pocket and lifted her arm to place it right on top of their heads. 

Spencer didn’t move. He just wide opened his eyes, staring at (Y/N), who was now smiling, completely blushed. 

- “Since we are spending Christmas together, I thought… we… could…”- but she couldn’t finish talking, ‘cos Spencer leaned in slowly, very slowly until he reached her lips and kissed her. His hands cupped her cheeks carefully, and her arms ended up wrapped around his neck.  

- “Merry Christmas, Spencer”- she whispered, rubbing her lips against his when the kiss ended, but neither of them wanted to move apart.

- “Merry Christmas, (Y/N)” 

.

[mrsalwayswrite]

Singing in the Shower (Ragnarssons x Reader)

This is just a silly little one-shot that came to mind that I could not stop thinking about. It got a bit deeper than I planned but oops?

Also my first time writing a Ragnarssons x reader! Please let me know if I did all the brothers justice. Except Bjorn isn’t in here. So its just the sons of Aslaug. Sorry, Bjorn.  

Warnings: some brief mentions of abusive/unhealthy past relationships, reader has some insecurities, the brothers being the best roomies ever but also creepers, like one or two swear words, FLUFFY GOODNESS!!! 

Words: 3700

Tag List: @youbloodymadgenius​

 (picture is from Pinterest. Not mine.)

The sound of laughter echoed around you even before leaving your bedroom. It was a Sunday night so that meant the Lothbrok brothers were all over. A tradition Ubbe started some months ago to make sure the four brothers stayed connected in each other's lives. Every Sunday evening, all of them would congregate in the three bedroom flat you shared with Ubbe and Hvitserk. They would order a stack of pizzas and enough beer to put a pub crawl to shame, and watch movies or play video games until the early morning hours. Only twice had fist fights broken out between Sigurd and Ivar with just a table and a lamp damaged in the process, so Ubbe called it a win. 

 It had only been about a year that you lived with Ubbe and Hvitserk. Sigurd chose to move in with a couple members of the band he played in. Aslaug vehemently refused to let Ivar move out due to his many medical needs that she claimed he could only receive proper attention for at home. In equal parts rebellion and to escape his mother’s suffocating attention, Ivar spent the majority of his free time and nights crashing on the couch at your shared flat. 

 At first, you were hesitant about living with the two brothers, having only known them through friends, but you decided to give it a chance. Within a couple of months, you found the strange dynamics of your shared space and your vastly different relationships with each of the brothers to feel eerily familiar….like being home. 

 Standing at your door, you listened to the brothers for a few moments, smiling broadly as you heard Hvitserk taunting Sigurd about how he was going to beat his ass if he threw another blue shell at him. Meanwhile Ivar was yelling something about the undeniable magic of Yoshi and his winning streak. They must be playing Mario Kart again. 

 It was nice to hear them all getting along. Normally Sunday nights you hung out with your boyfriend to give the brothers privacy, even though all of them repeatedly told you it was unnecessary. That was until last week. You had taken a selfie on your boyfriend's phone and went to set it as his background to surprise him….and found nude pictures of other girls and the dick pics he sent them back. Before you stormed out of his flat, you may have thrown his phone against the wall, pleased when the screen shattered just like your trust. Then you came home and cried to Hvitserk about how you were swearing off men and just wanted to be a spinster for the rest of your life. 

 Word must have spread between the brothers. For the rest of the week, they all offered their support in various ways. Sigurd texted you a few times to check on you and remind you that clearly you were better off without your ex. Ubbe gave you long hugs as if trying to soak the pain out of you, and made sure you were eating and getting out of bed. Hvitserk surprised you with a new sugary treat every day ranging from Oreos to ice cream to chocolate muffins; then you two would cuddle on the couch indulging yourselves while watching movies. Ivar threatened to beat up your now ex-boyfriend for making you cry and take pictures to send to those girls your ex had been texting. You made sure to shut Ivar's idea down quickly but pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and thanked him for offering. You hated your ex, that did not mean you wanted him dead. 

 You pushed away from your door and down the hallway. Popping your head around the corner, you saw the brothers in various positions in the living room, eyes all glued to the TV and the race happening on-screen. 

 "I'm gonna shower." You announced, receiving grunts of affirmations as they were too focused to fully acknowledge you. Smiling at their antics, you headed into the bathroom, shutting the door and starting the shower up. Once the water was at the perfect temperature, you stripped and jumped in. Of course, once the mixture of hot water and steam helped you relax, you started singing to yourself, letting the worries of the day fade away for just a moment as the words flowed from your lips and echoed off the shower stall walls like your own little stage. 

 Unbeknownst to you, as soon as the bathroom door shut and the sound of water running could be heard, the volume on the TV was muted. 

 Ivar, surprisingly, was the first one to overhear your singing. He had come over to crash for a few hours after his latest doctor appointment and to work on an assignment for a University class. The bathroom door somehow had not fully latched when you closed it, cracking open while you were in the shower….and you started singing. Ivar sat stunned on the couch at the voice slipping out of the bathroom like a siren's song. He remained there, transfixed as you sang some song he had never heard but he could feel in his chest. Once you stopped singing and the shower turned off, he quickly jumped up and hobbled over to silently shut the door, slightly embarrassed by the idea of you catching him listening in to your shower singing. 

 Later that day after you headed out to work, Ivar asked Ubbe and Hvitserk if they had heard you sing yet. Both of them denied ever hearing you sing. When asked if he knew anything, Sigurd was upset, having asked you on multiple nights to go to a karaoke bar with him and some friends. You always refused by saying you sounded Iike a beached whale. 

 Ubbe was next to overhear. He was walking by the bathroom on the way to the kitchen when he heard your voice drifting from underneath the bathroom door. Feeling like a creeper but curiosity winning out, he pressed his ear to the bathroom door to listen better. To say he had been shocked was an understatement. Sure, he had heard Ivar praise your voice, but he figured his youngest brother was exaggerating. It made him wonder why you never sang in front of others. 

 A silent pact was made between the brothers that they would never share the information of your singing with anyone outside the four of them….and whenever you jumped in the shower, whoever was the closest would go and crack the bathroom door open so they could hear you better. 

 This time was no different. 

 Sigurd was closest, so after Ubbe paused the game, he jumped up and silently cracked open the door so your beautiful voice could flow out. The game picked back up but remained on mute so they could hear you. The first song you serenaded them with was Walk Me Home by Pink. Apparently, one of your new favorites since you sang it so often. Next was Someone Like You by Adele. By the third song, the brothers had abandoned the game and were solely focused on you and the raw emotion bleeding from your voice. This time you started to sing Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi.  

 Ubbe spoke up, keeping his voice quiet just in case you could hear them, however unlikely. "Has she said anything about her ex lately?"

 "Not to me." Hvitserk answered first. "I thought she was doing fine."

 "Just because she's not crying all the time doesn't mean she's fine." Ivar retorted harshly, never removing his eyes from the direction of the bathroom. After a moment, he got up and hobbled towards the bathroom. 

 "Ivar…. Ivar, what are you doing?" Ubbe hissed but was ignored. 

 As quiet as possible, Ivar walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid; your singing managed to cover the sounds of his movement. As he rolled his head to the side, it was to find his brothers had followed him with varying expressions ranging from concern to amusement. 

 Normally you did not spend so long in the shower but today you decided to spoil yourself. You had been doing well all week but this morning you were scrolling through your Instagram and happened to stumble upon a picture of your ex with a new girl, smiling happily and kissing at a restaurant…. the day after you broke up. And seeing them together felt like it ripped a tear into the slowly healing pieces of your heart. 

 Instead of going out like you planned to do, you laid in bed all-day binge-watching movies and feeling like an idiot. So in the shower you took extra time pampering yourself, using a deep conditioner in your hair, shaving everywhere and just letting the hot water cascade down your skin and loosen the tense muscles. 

 At this point you were feeling a little better and decided it was best not to waste any more water. You turned the water off, running your hands down your body to get as much excess water off, before you reached for your towel. Grabbing the plush towel hanging on the rack, you quickly dried your hair and wrapped the towel around your body before pulling the curtain back….

 Only to shriek as you realized you were not alone in the bathroom. 

 "What? What are you guys doing?" You demanded, eyes frantically darting between the four brothers.

 Ivar sat on the toilet lid; head tilted as he watched you with a peculiar expression on his face. Hvitserk leaned against the sink, eyes darting from your towel-clad body to the floor then back up. Ubbe and Sigurd stood in the doorway, both looking the least comfortable but still not moving. 

 "We, ah, we were…. well, we are concerned for you." Ubbe said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 "Concerned?" You asked incredulously. 

 Ivar ignored your question. "Is this about your ex? Want me to pay him a visit?"

 "What are you talking about?"

 "Your singing. They were sad songs." Sigurd answered, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. 

 Heat flooded your face. You dropped your head, staring at the bathroom floor as you clutched the towel closer to your body. Honestly, the idea of them hearing your singing was far more humiliating than them seeing you naked at this point. "You…. you heard me…. singing?"

 "Y/n, are you OK? You know you can tell us anything." Hvitserk said, trying to meet your eye. 

 "Um, can…. can we talk about this when…. when I'm not naked?" 

 "Of course. Come on, brothers." Ubbe quickly agreed, tapping the door as if to signal. He and Sigurd walked away first. Only when you finally met Hvitserk's eye did he push off the sink and head out but not before giving you a flirty wink. 

 "Ivar…."

 He slouched back, folding his hands behind his head. "I'm quite comfortable here."

 "Oh gods, please, Ivar." You begged, almost on the verge of tears. 

 He stared at you a long moment before pushing himself to his feet. "Don't think you're getting out of this."

 "Ok."

 Appeased, he made his way out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

 Once alone, you stepped out of the shower only to drop onto the toilet lid and place your head in your hands. Your chest heaved and your eyes stung as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Today was bad enough and now this. It had to be something out of a nightmare. Your own personal hell. 

 When you finally composed yourself, you quickly changed into your comfiest sweats and tank top. You wished you could make a run for your room, anything to avoid the impending conversation but you knew the brothers would follow, they were all stubborn and persistent when they wanted to be. 

 With a deep breath, you stepped out of the bathroom and towards the living room. What hushed disagreement the brothers were clearly having abruptly ended when they noticed you. Awkwardly you remained standing, unsure where to sit. The only open spots were on the couch between Hvitserk and Ivar or one of the recliners as Ubbe sat in the other one. Sigurd reclined on the rocker gaming chair on the floor. 

 Averting your eyes, you started towards the open recliner only to have a strong arm snake around your waist as you passed by and pulled you onto the couch. You squeaked as you suddenly found yourself perched on Ivar's lap. Somewhere you had certainly never been before. 

 "Where do you think you're going?" He asked, a cocky grin spread across his face. 

 "Um, over there." You nodded your head towards the other open spot. 

 "No, you're sitting here now."

 "Stop hogging her, brother." Hvitserk reached over and dragged you off Ivar. Somehow you ended up with your back against Hvitserk's side, his arm slung around you and your legs across Ivar's lap, him slowly running his hand up and down them. 

 Ubbe raised an eyebrow at the three of you. "Are you done yet?"

 "I thought we were just fine but I guess Hvitty had other plans." Ivar snarked, rolling his eyes. 

 "We're good now." Hvitserk said with a cheesy smile, making you giggle. 

 "So how are you really doing, y/n?" Ubbe asked, staring at you with those knowing blue eyes. 

 "Um, I'm alright. Today was just…. rough." At the four questioning looks, you quickly explained about what you found this morning on Instagram. 

 Ivar slapped the armrest of the couch. "I'm beating his ass now and nothing you say can stop me."

 You snagged his other hand that was still on your leg and clasped it, as if that alone could diminish his deadly intent. "Please don't. He's not worth it. I just…. I just want to move on. Ok?"

 He grumbled, but eventually gripped your hand and gave it a single squeeze in acknowledgement. 

 Now here was the part that petrified you; but you needed to know. 

 "Um, how…. how long have…. was this your first time?" Your words stumbled out, making you cringe at how ineloquent it was. 

 "What are you talking about?" Sigurd drawled; one foot propped up so he slowly rocked in the gaming chair.  

 You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly dry. You dropped your gaze, as you whispered your answer. "My….my singing."

 "What? You sound bloody brilliant! The others have heard you more than me but you always sound amazing!" Sigurd exclaimed, a beaming smile on his face. "I don't know why you haven't gone out with me before! Oh! I'd love for you to try and sing in my band, we could use an amazing vocalist like you! Gods, we could get way more gigs with a beautiful woman like you upfront singing."

 Soon as Sigurd started talking, you covered your face with your hands. The tears you managed to repress earlier flooded back. Your shoulders hunched over, cowering into yourself at the revelation. They had all heard you. Apparently more than just this one time. It was mortifying. Long ago you stopped singing in front of others, no longer able to face the ridicule, the degrading comments always thrown your way. And now, these brothers that you had become so close to…. if they said anything negative towards you right now, you were sure your heart would fully break and no lyric would ever pass your lips again. 

 Hvitserk shifted behind you, turning you so he could wrap both arms around your waist and place his cheek against the side of your head. "Y/n, talk to us." 

 You shook your head, the barely suppressed tears and poisoned words clogging your throat. 

 Abruptly, a pair of calloused hands grabbed yours, forcing them away from your face. You were immediately met by a pair of piercing blue eyes, only inches from your face. 

 "Whose ass am I killing now? Huh?" Ivar demanded in a low, menacing tone. Between his tone and the fury burning in his eyes, you knew he meant his question, and that sent a nervous chill down your spine. 

 "It's not…. it’s nothing."

 "Bullshit." Ivar spat. 

 Hvitserk nuzzled your temple, his voice lighter but still with an edge of steel in it. "I agree with Ivar. Something happened."

 Biting your bottom lip, you closed your eyes. There were a few things that were just too painful to talk about and this one, they had unknowingly stumbled upon. 

 "Was it your mother?"

 Your eyes flew open, your head snapped over to stare at Ubbe in shock. He met your gaze unflinchingly, and somehow you knew he already figured at least part of it out. He accidentally overheard a phone conversation between you and your mother one time and once you got off the phone, he immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and promised you never had to see her again if you never wanted to, that they would take care of you. Of course, you cried all over him after he promised that. 

 Ubbe leaned forward in the recliner, placing his elbows on his knees, gaze still intent on you. "What did she do?"

 "She…. she hated when I sang. Said I was just desperate for attention. That I needed to just shut up. That no one would want to listen to me anyway. If she ever caught me singing…. once she duct-taped my mouth shut."

 You could hear the gasps at your confession, followed by a round of curses. Hvitserk pressed a kiss to your temple, tightening his hold on you. Ivar squeezed your hands, still holding them within his own. 

 Ubbe nodded as if not surprised. He ran a hand down his face and sighed before stealing your gaze once again. "I have a feeling she wasn't the only one to hurt you."

 At this point, a silent tear trekked down your cheek. You sniffled, dropping your gaze down. "I had an ex who used to make fun of my singing. He used to say 'at least you're pretty'. When we would ride together listening to music, he would tell me to stop singing and 'leave it to the professionals'. At some point, it just….it was better to not sing in front of anyone. So I only sang in the shower cause I thought no one would hear me."

 Hvitserk turned your head, looking into your eyes. "Baby, listen to me. Your singing is incredible. We all love listening to you sing. Please don't be embarrassed about this with us."

 "I'd love for you to walk around the house singing, I could happily listen to that all day." Ubbe said, a tender smile on his lips. 

 "I second that!" 

 "Sig, you're only here on Sundays." Ubbe glanced over at his brother. 

 Sigurd shrugged. "So? I could listen to her sing all day. Maybe she should move in with me and actually be appreciated."

 "No! You're not stealing her from us!" Hvitserk said, practically cradling you against him, like a puppy afraid to lose its favorite toy.

 "It's not stealing if she wants to go!" 

 Ivar butted in. "I am more interested in this other shitty ex and mother...can I find them?"

 "No, Ivar. You have to stop threatening people."

 "Why?" He whined at you, tugged on your hands, your legs still across his lap. "You won't let me teach them a lesson so all I can do is threaten."

 "Also sounds like you have terrible taste in guys. Anymore shitty exes we should know about?" Sigurd asked, rocking his chair. 

 You figured at this point you were spilling all your dirty secrets so what was one more. "Um, I was talking to this one guy but when he found out I moved in here, he called me a whore for moving in with two brothers and told me I was a waste of his time." You softly admitted, having made sure none of them ever heard about that after it happened. 

 For a moment there was dead silence then….

 "I'm going to need his name right now." Ubbe said, malice dripping off every word. 

 "Yeah! Let's cut his tongue out! See what he says about that!" Ivar cheered. 

 You could not stop the laughter that came out. The idea that these brothers got so worked up over anyone that ever insulted or hurt you was both sweet and slightly infuriating, but mostly sweet. No one had ever cared about you as strongly as these four brothers. 

 "It's fine now. How about this? Next guy to hurt me, I promise I'll give you his name."

 "No! I want to cut this asshole's tongue out. Maybe slap him with it after!" Ivar smiled with a pure predatory look. 

 "I think you should just date one of us." Sigurd shrugged, watching everyone with a smirk. "Then you know he'd treat you right."

 "I like this idea." Hvitserk smiled, squeezing you lightly. "We would romance the hell out of you."

 "You guys are being silly. I don't even know what romance would look like." You giggled at the absurd idea. All the brothers were gorgeous in their own ways and could pick up any girl they wanted, why would they want you? Besides, your relationships were just platonic. "Is the interrogation over now? Want me to leave so you can get back to your game?"

 "Nope, you're stuck here." Ivar said, leaning on you now so you were sandwiched between the two brothers. 

 Ubbe chuckled. "We've told you before, you are welcome to hang out with us. Why don't we put in a movie?"

 After many arguments and some mild threats, a movie was finally chosen. You settled against Hvitserk, facing the TV, as you played with Ivar's hair, his head now in your lap. 

 As you watched the movie, you missed the silent conversation between the brothers happening around you. It was decided that your next boyfriend would certainly be one of them and in the meantime, they were all going to romance the hell out of you and make sure you understood how important and incredible you are. 

 Starting with making sure you sang whenever you wanted. 

[marvel-ousnesss]

Unrequited (Valerio x reader)

Warnings: angst, use of drugs, alcohol, cursing, cheating, breakup, mentions of Valerio x Lucrecia 

Word count: 2000-ish

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I hadn't been motivated to write anything until recently. As always, I love to hear comments, thoughts and feedback. Also, thank you so much for supporting my work, hope you enjoy 💜

Masterlist

Request

“Stop it, Valerio.” You abruptly close the book you're holding, eyeing the teacher as you place it on the desk. “They won't even let me get out of the house.”

He had been nagging you all week long about some party he was dying to go to, and you wanted to, really. The only problem was that, a few days ago, the two of you had dragged Guzman on a nightly adventure to the beach, which seemed right at the moment, since he had spent the whole summer sulking. Your dad practically had to drag you home by an ear, and, to say the least, your family didn’t wanna hear a beat about parties or your friends any time soon.

He scoffs, “seriously? Your parents are like the chillest people ever, they weren’t even that mad.”

Incredulous, you look at him up and down, betrayed by the amused grin that flicks on the corner of your lips. “Just checking, were you there on Thursday? One step out of line, and I'll be walking around with an ankle monitor.”

“Y/N, Valerio, is my class, perchance, interrupting your conversation? Should I take it elsewhere?”

With a quick apology and a glare at your boyfriend, cutting the conversation was cut short. However, it was naive to think he'd just settle for the answer you had given him.

“Whatever, Y/N," he grumbles. "I’m sure They'll let you if I,” he frames his face and smiles coyly, “am the one who asks.”

"Geez, why didn't I think of that!". Turning the page of your textbook, you deadpan. "Oh, right, dick-in-a-sock incident.”

Valerio lowers himself on his seat as his face embraces a new tone of crimson. After a second, he recovers. “Can't believe you brought up that teeny-tiny mistake of mine. Low, Y/L/N, even for you.”

You open your mouth to respond, but the bell rings.

When it stops, you continue, “Seriously, V, they've been all over me these last few days, it's a long shot.”

Both of you get out of the classroom and begin to make your way to the lockers. “Just tell them Polo’s gonna be there, don’t they love Polo?”

You sigh, checking the time on your phone. You only have fifteen minutes before your next class began, and, honestly, lack the energy to spend them trying to knock some sense into your mule of a boyfriend.

“Fine,” you settle. “I’ll call them in a minute. But, don’t get your hopes up.”

“Too late.” With a captivating smile, he leans in and pecks your cheek.

After you agreed to at least call your parents, Valerio's mood improved considerably the rest of the day. The rest of the classes went by uneventfully; before you knew it, you found yourself in the car, duffle in hand, on your way to the Montesinos'.

You arrive at their house and let yourself inside, leaving your stuff at the door and heading straight to the kitchen, looking for something to drink. When you turn around to face the stairs, Lu’s making her way down.

"So, how did you manage to dodge your sentence this time?"

"Haggled my freedom, sort of." You place a glass on the table and open the fridge to fetch a bottle of sparkling water.

She rolls her eyes and sighs, exasperated. "A call from my dad would’ve done it".

"Thanks, but it wasn’t that bad, really, " you assure, pouring some water into the glass then cutting a lemon in half. "Just have to take my brother to some birthday party next week and, in exchange, they gave me their blessing for Valerio's thing, and let me stay at yours after."

"God, Y/N, you complain about my brother 24/7 and, in the end, the two of you are just as stubborn."She grabs an apple and takes a bite. "You could've saved yourself the trouble completely."

"Oh, well."You take a seat by the kitchen bar. "Guess it takes one to know one."

"Anyway, what are you wearing tonight?"

You unlock your phone and browse through the gallery. When you find the picture, you stop and point a finger at her. "You're gonna hate me. " You show her the screen smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh, my fucking god, Y/N! How- I- is that the Valentino you were drooling over the other day?"

You just grin.

"You, bitch, how did you get your hands on that?"

"Aunt Millicent."

"Of course," she huffs.

"Turns out that there were a few perks of her going off to Milan." You shrug. "But that's not important right now, what are you gonna wear?"

With that. she drags you up the stairs and into her room. You spend the rest of the afternoon immersed in makeup experiments and debates about fashion until Valerio and Guzman shout your names to start pregaming.

You enter the party together and go straight to the most vacant area of the VIP zone. After grabbing the first round, you join the others at the table and sit down with Polo and Carla for a few drinks. The group remains wrapped in conversation until Ander walks up to his friends and drags them to the bar, probably to tell them about his most recent disagreement with Omar. Soon after, Lucrecia makes eye contact with Nadia, muttering something about her daring to come, and standing up with a huff. Knowing she's physically incapable of keeping herself out of trouble, Carla stands up with a roll of her eyes and follows her.

Valerio lets his arm fall around you and chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. "And then, there were two."

“Wanna get high?" You don't wait for him to answer verbally. Instead, you grab his hands and pull the two of you to stand up.

He laughs, grabbing a bottle of whatever was on the table beside yours.

The two of you sprinted to the nearest restroom in a fit of giggles and lock the door behind you. He puts the bottle on the counter and reaches his pockets, freezing as soon as he lifts his gaze. You dig into your clutch and shake a small bag in his face.

"My treat," you grin, resembling a kid in a candy store.

"Oh, my, little miss Y/LN!" he gasps in fake horror. "What happened to the ankle monitor you were telling me about."

"I won’t tell if you won’t."You smirk, carefully arranging the lines.

The party comes to an end a few minutes before sunrise. You reunite with Lucrecia and Guzman by the entrance of the club and the four of you get in the Montesinos' car. Your head rests on Valerio's chest and he traces lazy patterns on the skin of your arm and shoulder.

When you make it to the house, Lucrecia doesn't waste a minute to drag a tipsy Guzman upstairs, waving a quick goodbye on her way. You giggle, well aware of your friends' plans for the night. Then, you head to the kitchen for a snack.

"Confess it." Your boyfriend stares at you from the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. "The only reason you ever visit is that we have a better pantry."

"To be honest, I thought you already knew that." You grab a pack of chips and walk toward his bedroom, passing by him and kissing his nose softly.

You don't fall asleep that night, writhing in Valerio's arms and debating whether or not to go find something for the hangover that was already beginning to haunt you. When you open your eyes, the first rays of sunlight are already peeking through the window. You decide to get out of bed. You throw the blanket off you and turn, expecting to see your boyfriend, but only find a mess of his blankets instead. You check the time on your cell phone: 8:22 a.m.

Seeing no point in continuing your attempts to get some sleep, you put on the shirt that was laying on Valerio's desk chair and leave the room. As you're crossing the hall to the pool, you hear noises coming through Lucrecia's door. For a moment, you think it may be her and Guzman, but remember hearing him say that he had to go home at dawn to get to a swimming competition.

You try to ignore the noise and convince yourself it's none of your business; but, when you continue to walk away, your ears are invaded by a voice you knew quite well. "It couldn't, they can't-, they're...", a million thoughts invade you. You take a deep breath and to open the door.

There are no words to describe the feeling of your heart being ripped in the blink of an eye. Your legs threaten to collapse and blood rushes to your head, making you dizzy for a brief moment. Not only do you find your boyfriend in the bed, with an unreadable expression coating his face, but you find your best friend redhanded, looking right at you like a deer in headlights.

You don't even try to digest the scene; instead, you run out of the house, suddenly not caring about your current apparel. Part of you wanted to shout what you had seen, to ruin them, but they meant too most to you. You couldn't do it, no matter how much you wanted to get it off your chest.

Luckily, your house was empty. You went straight upstairs and locked yourself in your room for the rest of the morning. You did whatever you could to take your head off what you had seen, but nothing worked. In the end, you wrote it down, desperate to get it out somehow. You hadn't opened your diary since you were twelve, but it was relieving; a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

You spend the remaining of the day so deep in thought, that you didn't even notice your family arriving from the park. You drifted off to sleep after working on some homework, only to be woken up by our brother's voice.

"Y/N, your boyfriend's here!" Hearing the word sends a jab of pain through your body. However, you reply, "I'll be down in a second."

You put on a hoodie, some shoes and leave the fort that was your room. Your parents are focused on a movie, so you take the opportunity to step into the backyard with Valerio.

You face him, trying to appear emotionless, even if your bloodshot eyes give you away.The childish gleam in his face is nowhere to be found, his shoulders are more drooping than normal, and his eyes are almost as red as yours. You wonder if it's because of the crying or the cocaine.

“How long?”

“Before I went abroad.”

You attempt to walk back into the house, but he grabs and pulls your arm, begging you to stay and listen.

You sigh. “I won't say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He stays silent for a few seconds, bringing himself to believe that your thoughts on him were actually that low. Then he mumbles, “I don’t care about that, I know it’s unorthodox, and that you’re probably gonna stop talking to us now, and-“

You didn’t have the energy to hear him ramble. “Look, yes, I’m really shaken, to say the least, it's the first time I’ve seen something like that.” You grimaced. “But, the point is you betrayed my trust, V! Completely!” Your voice shakes, you try to clear your throat but it comes out as a sob. “I- even if it hadn’t been her, you hurt me. You promised you’d never do it, but you did!

He takes your hands, and, even if you don’t resist, feels how tense that makes you. Hours prior, it would’ve been comforting. “And I’m sorry, really. I did it without thinking, Y/N/N, it won’t happen again.”

You pull your hands out of his. “Please, V, it’s been happening for more than a year, half of the time we’ve been dating.”

He stays quiet.

You quietly question, “do you still love me?”

This time, his bottom lip quivers and his voice cracks when he answers. “I care about you, a lot, you know that.”

That’s the last you bear to hear. You avert your eyes from him. “I forgive you. You can go now.”

“Y/N/N…” He moves closer to you, but you shake your head, stopping him.

“Please,” you croak.

[seouliie]

bikini bottoms (m)

having a job as a lifeguard on the beach has you doing many things you’ve never done before. stopping fights between a 5 year old and a seagull, spending hours trying to dig a jeep out of a 4 foot hole some doofus had dug, and lastly, giving jung hoseok a blowjob.

(gif from weheartit)

GENRE: e2l, smut, lifeguard!au

WORDS: 2753

MEMBER: jung hoseok

WARNINGS: really only a blowjob, implied smut, possible part two, hoseok is a fuckboy, mention of sexual harassment, there’s banter in this and hoseok slaps yn’s ass, but it’s all playful!!

The wooden chair of the lifeguard tower creaks as you sit down, as if releasing a heavy sigh after a long night of no usage, now to be sat on at the fresh time of 10 am- the start of your work day. From above, the people now rolling in to the beach start appearing, encouraged by the sunny sky and beautiful weather to get on their swimsuits and hop in the clear water.

This was an everyday thing for you- and you loved it. The fresh air seemingly always in the atmosphere, tinted by the salty smell of the sea, the sun, the sand- everything. It was the perfect way to start your day, and the perfect day to end it. Your mornings could never go wrong at the beach.

From the corner of your eye, you can see the outline of a rather familiar figure making his way towards the lifeguard tower, a frown naturally forming onto to your lips.

Well, except for one thing.

Meet Jung Hoseok, the heartthrob of the beach. Not gonna lie, the only reason you haven't filed a complaint for him to get fired was because almost half of the people who come to the beach are teenagers who want a piece of him. Not just him- his dick. If he did evidently get fired, then less people would actually come, meaning less money for you. Yes, you have thought this through before. And you prefer money.

"______!"

You sigh, not wanting to interact with this sex machine at least until you've had your third cup of coffee. Lazily, you respond: "Yes, Hoseok?"

He smiles when you make eye contact with him, his gaze pure and playful. "You left your shoes at the shed! I wanted to bring them to you!" A hand covers his eyes from the rays of the sun, and he lifts his other hand to reveal your pair of dark blue flip-flops hanging off his middle finger.

"I know, Hoseok," you reply. "I leave them on purpose. I don't like the feeling of shoes on a beach." You rake a hand through your hair, your strands getting blown into your eyes from the slight wind.

"Well, I brought them, so you might as well wear it." He smirks as he waves the shoes around mockingly. From afar, the sound of a baseline is audible, hinting that the car of the boy-crazy girls have arrived.

You scoff. "Just throw them up or something. Don't you know how? Weren't you captain of your basketball team?"

Hoseok laughs, a sound that- for some reason- causes your stomach to flurry. "First of all, I was not captain and I barely played since the coach despised me. Secondly, I will not throw these up, and you will come down to get them."

High-pitched laughter rings through your ears, causing your mood to already turn negative. You roll your eyes. "Don't you have some girls to fuck? I can practically hear them calling your name already in their squeaky ass voices like some fourth graders."

At this, the raven haired boy pouts, slight wind brushing his bangs into his eyes. "Come on, I'm trying to be nice, princess."

You bit your lip. The sun was pretty hot today, the wood burning up below your feet. Maybe you should put some comfort between your skin the the fiery hot chair. "Alright fine." You stand up and turn around, going down the ladder one foot at a time.

Little did you know, Hoseok was not focused at all on giving your shoes back. After he saw you climbing down the little wooden stubs, his eyes were trained on your ass, naturally pushed out each step. Once stepping onto the grainy smooth sand, you swiftly grab your shoes from his hand, pulling him out of his trance.

You bend down to slide the soft material onto your feet and shake your head. "God, making me do all this extra work for nothing-"

A hard smack to your ass cuts you off mid-sentence. Jung fucking Hoseok. Almost breaking your neck from looking up so fast, you notice that the human incarnated form of aggravation is not in front of you like he was a second ago. He's halfway up the ladder.

"Hoseok!" You cry, shocked by how he slapped your ass and how he climbed the goddamn thing so fast. "The hell are you doing?"

"Getting away from those girls." He says as he reaches for another slab of woob. "Jesus, you fuck them once, and they get all attached."

The group of girls have already set up their towel on the pale sand, one of them already oiling themselves up. He fucked them all? Like.. at once or all tog- You huff a breath of air. You are not going to be thinking about that right now.

"Not all at once, of course," He calls out, which makes you wonder if you were thinking out loud. "Although it definitely wasn't individual." Hoseok talks with a sly tone, raising a brow at you.

Looking back at the girls, you see them talking amongst themselves. However, they are all turning their heads, looking for one thing- the thing that's sitting at the top of the lifeguard tower.

Realization hits you like a truck. "Jung Hoseok, you are not leaving me with those maniacs."

He snorts, raking a hand through his hair. "Yes you are! I got you your shoes, do me this favor."

You could not believe the audacity of this man. He practically forced you to take the shoes, and now as a 'favor' you had to deal with those hoes who you only wish would get a grip of self worth so they stop chasing after that man? What a great way to start your day.

"Oh my fucking God." Anger is flowing through your veins, taking over your thoughts and actions, and you no longer can feel your sanity. "This is not a fucking favor, this is you manipulating me for you sake, so fuck you slutty bitch!"

The sand is wet and warm as you roll it into a ball, turning around and chucking it at Hoseok’s head. You barely miss his slim face and hit his neck, but still doing damage by getting stuck to his skin. "That's for slapping my ass, asshole."

You miss the way he eyes your leaving figure up and down after wiping the sand off his neck. Oh, he just loved messing with you.

-----

Swimsuits are tight. They curve around one's body perfectly, almost painfully, used for swimming or other water activities. They're actually pretty comfortable, if you do say so yourself, and you take pride in knowing the way your body looks in the bright red one piece of the lifeguard apparel.

But wet swimsuits are a whole 'nother story. Wet swimsuits are the devil themselves. They're sticky and distressing and tight, feeling like hell in spandex form suffocating your body and not letting you get the blood you need. Not to mention they take almost an hour to take off.

"God, can't I just take it off?" You whisper to no one in particular. The pad of your thumb scrolls through Instagram, images of other people's picture-perfect lives on view to the world. Feeling itchy, you continuously adjust your swimsuit, trying to find some relief for the discomfort you currently felt.

Sounds from the door break the much appreciated silent atmosphere you were miraculously blessed with, of course broken by the one and only  Jung Hoseok. "Help me," he quickly says, slamming the door of the hut shut. There's still some sand stuck on his bare upper chest from where you've hit him.

You scoff and look back down to your screen. "Help yourself, Jung. You've clearly been doing that the whole day, anyways." You squeeze your eyes shut as memories from earlier in the day came rushing at you.

The girls approached you right after you walked away from throwing the sand at Hoseok, ignoring the way he screamed your name repetitively. Not only did they waste your time by asking you where Hoseok was, but once you wouldn't let them go up the lifeguard tower, it got into a heated argument and one girl had the audacity to throw you into the fucking water.

She was strong, not gonna lie, but over what? A simple fuck? From the man who probably has a little tic-tac anyways? Oh, how you went off on them.

"They, uh-" Hoseok's voice slightly cracks, and he's talking in a slight panicked way, fast and mumbled. "They sort of attacked me- harassed me."

You look up. "They harassed you? You mean like... harassed harassed or harassed harassed?" He just blinks and shyly points to his trunks.

"Harassed harassed." Your eyes trail down, and the little bulge in Hoseok's pants momentarily shocks you.

"Holy shit, Hoseok."

Eyes wide, he nods. "I know. They fucking went after me once I got down the tower, so I ran here as fast as I could." When his breathing begins to slow, Hoseok moves to stand next to the big wooden table in the center of the room. "God, crazy bitches."

"And you got turned on from that?"

Not from them, he thinks to himself. But he wasn't about to let you know that he was already having his senses heightened after he saw your wet figure in the water.

"Well not exactly. It's kind of, just, you know," he sighs in defeat and shakes his bangs.

"And you want me to help... how?"

Hoseok stares at you, saying nothing. And you realize it.

"No, Hoseok, no way." You click your phone off and set it on the armrest of the wooden chair. "I'm not gonna sleep with you."

He lets out a frustrated groan. "I'm not asking you to sleep with me, just help me deal with this!" His hair comes out slightly ruffled after he rakes his hand through it. "I can't walk around with a fucking tent in my shorts around everybody. There's children!"

It takes all your self control and dignity to not look down at his crotch once again, for the outline is becoming more and more visible as the seconds roll on. And you've got to admit, he doesn't look as small as you thought. "Why should I do that? You've basically ruined my whole day by tricking me into getting down from the tower so I had to deal with those psychos. Not to mention, you slapped my ass and one of them threw me in the goddamn water!"

"Okay, well," Hoseok tries to counter argue. "You... threw sand at me." He knew he wasn't convincing anyone with that. "Please ________ just help me. I swear I'll make it up to you."

You think. You actually think about it. Blame it on the fact that the Jung Hoseok is practically begging you for it. An amused idea runs through your mind as you think of all the things you could make Hoseok do for you, all the embarrassment that would come with it, all the revenge you would finally get. Without saying anything, you make eye contact with his desperate form and stand up, walking towards him. His eyes widen.

"Woah, you're actually gonna-"

"Stop talking." You turn the both of you around and push him onto the chair, kneeling down in front of him. Hoseok is so stunned he doesn't even realize he bumped your phone off the armrest and onto the sandy floor. His breath gets stuck in his throat at the sight of you on your knees, ready to take him in your mouth. You run both of your hands up his thighs before slowly outlining his cock lightly with your fingertips.

"Jesus Christ," he breaks underneath your touch. He couldn't believe he was gonna get sucked off by you, the girl who's hated him since they first met. It was unbelievably hot. He sucks in a harsh breath when you squeeze his clothed dick. "Please don't fucking tease me, ______"

His length hardens in your hand when you begin to sensually rub your palm against it. You would be lying if you said that you weren't even the slightest bit turned on. "Patience, Hoseok," you grin. "God, you're so desperate for me, huh?"

A whimper. Jung Hoseok fucking whimpers.

Dominant, cocky Hoseok, just whimpered. For you. And it went straight to your core.

Rubbing your thighs together, you opt for some relief from the tingling you felt. Hoping to distract yourself, you toy with the waistband of his swim trunks for a few seconds before finally pulling them down his thighs.

It was much different than you would've ever imagined. In the past whenever you thought about his dick, which was rarely ever, you obviously knew he was packing some size considering the amount of times he slept around. However, seeing it in person has outdid all of your previous expectations. His dripping cock had length to it, but the thickness was shocking. It was unbelievably thick.

"Fuck," you whisper. You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, your fingertips barely able to touch each other. You give it a light squeeze before slowly sliding up.

Hoseok is watching your every move, his hands forming fists by his side to keep him from thrusting himself into your grip. "_____- shit." He leans his head back, clenching his jaw as you spread his precum around his length, making sure to coat every spot with his juice. The sight of his throat bobbing up and down makes your eyes flutter. God, why is he so hot right now.

"Your so naughty, Hoseok." You lightly trail your tongue up his cock, keeping your eyes on him the whole way up. Wrapping your lips around the head, Hoseok whimpers once again when you begin to suck on the swollen tip. He can't hold back anymore and snakes his hand into your hair, pulling at the roots while letting out deep groans.

When you take all of him in one go, he slowly pushes down on your head so that his tip meets the back of your throat. The sound of you quietly gagging sends him into overdrive, his body shaking from the pleasure. You grasp at his thighs, clawing your nails into his skin. "______, please please please, fuck."

Remembering a tip your friend once gave you, you hollow your cheeks and suck, continuously bobbing your head up and down. Obviously, your friend knows what she's doing, basing off of the way Hoseok lets out a loud vocal moan and thrusts wildly into your mouth. You've never seen him like this- so unhinged and in a way almost pathetically desperate. It was turning you on beyond belief.

He's close and it's obvious, sweat dripping down the side of neck, letting out a string of curses and swears as he gets closer to his high.

"Fuck, _____ don't stop, p-please don't stop." His voice sends a rush of warmth to your core, and his other hand releases the grip on the armrest to join the other in pulling your hair. Both of his hands are grabbing at your head, and you move even faster, giving his throbbing cock a couple swirls with your tongue until finally he's squeezing his eyes shut and releasing his seed into your mouth. The warmth in your throat seems to never end, akin to the strings of moans Hoseok lets out. After swallowing, you release his cock with a pop and wipe his cum off of your chin with the back of your hand.

Hoseok tilts his head back and keeps his hands in your hair, wanting to pause for a while for him to catch his breath. "Goddamn, ______." He lets out a breathless laugh.

You smile breathlessly and rub your hands up to his abs, tracing the outline lightly with your fingertips. His eyes darken again as they watch your lips swollen red and with his cum dripping down the sides. He forces himself to loosen his grip on your hair and slowly pulls his hands back.

You grab it before he can fully retreat. He looks at you, confused. A soft laugh escapes your lips.

"You still owe me a favor, shit head.”

[flightlessangelwings]

I Owe What I am to You

Billy Russo x fem!Reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: mild violence, injury, hurt/comfort, kidnapping, minor character death, angst, fluff, protective!Billy, Billy betrays Rawlings AU

~

“Mr. Russo, you have someone here to see you,” Billy’s assistant knocked on his office door.

He glanced at the clock; he didn’t have an appointment scheduled until 2 so there was only one person that could walk through that door. He stood and grinned when he was right and you slid past Billy’s assistant with a quick thanks.

Once the door was closed behind you, Billy quickly closed the gap between your bodies and took your lips with his in a needy kiss. You squealed in surprise, but quickly wrapped your arms around him and pulled him as close as you could. It had only been since this morning since you last saw each other, but lately every hour felt like a week whenever you were apart. 

This past year or so was a rough year for you both.  

You had met Billy some time ago, you forgot how long now when you came in to interview him as part of your job as a journalist and there was immediate chemistry. Soon after, you started dating and soon after that, Billy broke down and told you everything he had kept hidden from the world. There was such a strong connection between the two of you that neither could explain and Billy came to trust you uncharacteristically fast.

He told you about his deal with Rawlins and the guilt he felt for betraying his best friend, Frank Castle. You listened as he cried in your arms, and you told him that the only way he could make it right was to betray Rawlins. 

He was hesitant at first, mostly because he didn’t want to risk putting you in danger or get caught in the crosshairs. But you convinced him you would be alright. You were right of course; Billy had to admit that you almost always were, but Billy was left injured and scarred from his and Frank’s fight with Rawlins. During everything, though, you stuck by his side, and Billy realized just how much he loved you.

Once Billy was fully healed, he rebranded Anvil and rebuilt it from the ground up to be what he wanted from the beginning, and free of Rawlin’s influence. You helped him with that as well; you used your investigative skills to thoroughly vet every applicant and potential networking partner before Billy signed them on.

“Billy,” you giggled between kisses, “Meg is just outside the door.” This wouldn’t be the first time you had sex in his office, but you didn’t want his assistant to hear anything and then have to walk past her when you left.

He didn’t care, and he spun you around and backed you up until your legs bumped into his desk. Billy gracefully lifted you so that you sat on his desk and kissed you even more deeply. It took him some time to show affection like this with you again, but once he started, he didn’t want to stop.

You moaned softly into his mouth before you pushed him back, “Billy,” you gave him a fierce look that always made him melt.

He cradled the side of your face as he said your name, “You’re right,” he looked at you with those big, dark eyes and you almost gave in to him.

You kissed him once more before you leaned back to glance over the papers on his desk. You noticed at the top of the stack, there was a paper with someone’s profile, and you immediately recognized the name. 

“Why are you meeting with Big Ed?” you asked as you picked up the sheet of paper.

Billy’s grip on your waist tightened as he furrowed his brows, “He’s interested in working with Anvil as a partner. How do you know his name?”

You turned back around to meet his gaze, “He keeps popping up when I’m doing my research for you,” you explained, “I can’t find much on him though. It’s like he just appeared out of nowhere,” you let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know, Billy. Something about him doesn’t sit right with me.”

He was quiet for a moment as he took in your words. You were a good journalist, and your instincts were usually correct. Plus, Billy trusted you. He was about to say something when the phone on his desk rang. You jumped in his arms in surprise, and he gave you a quick squeeze before he reached over to press the speaker button.

“Mr. Russo, a Big Ed is here to see you,” Meg’s voice rang through the speaker.

He’s early, “Tell him I’ll be right out,” the line clicked and he turned to you, and the look in your eyes made his heart sink, “Too late to back out now,” Billy said.

“I’ll go back to my office and see what else I can dig up on him,” you pushed yourself off of his desk, but Billy did not release his protective hold on you, “Promise me you’ll be careful Billy.”

He flashed you a charming smile, “I’m always careful baby,” he kissed you once more, and for some reason this kiss felt very final. Billy pushed that sinking feeling aside and told himself it was just nerves, “You want me to call a car for you?”

“I can call one myself, Billy,” you paused and bit your lip as an uneasy feeling hung in the air between the two of you, “I love you.”

Billy brushed your lower lip with his thumb, “I love you too.” It wasn’t often that you and Billy spoke those words aloud to each other, though you both knew the feeling was there. You both saved the words for special or desperate occasions, the the uneasy feeling that hung in the air definitely warranted the moment.

He watched you leave with a heavy feeling in his chest and he took a minute to gather himself before he went to meet with this Big Ed.

You stepped outside Anvil to wait for your car, but you weren’t waiting long until one pulled up and called your name. You thought nothing of it, since the driver used your name and you stepped into the back seat. The drive to your office was silent, and it took longer than usual due to traffic, but you kept yourself occupied by starting your research on Big Ed from your phone. You were so wrapped up in your investigation that you didn’t even notice at first that the car pulled up to your work building. When the driver shook you from your focus, you thanked him and stepped out of the car. 

Just as you got out, your phone rang and you saw it was Billy. You smiled at his picture on your screen; it was one you took when you were out together one night and out caught him in a sweet smile before he regained his composure.

“That was fast,” you said with a short laugh as you answered.

“I think you were right,” his voice was serious, “I had a bad feeling about him too. Cut the meeting short,” Billy paused and you heard him take a deep breath, “You back at your office?”

“Yeah I just got here. Traffic was bad,” you could hear the worry in his voice and it made you nervous, “Everything ok, Billy?”

He was quiet for a moment, “Fine.”

“So you’re not going to work with him then?” you had the feeling there was something Billy was not telling you, and as much as you wanted to know you also didn’t want to push it.

Again, Billy was quiet. What you couldn’t see was the worry on his face as he replayed what Big Ed said to him during the meeting: It’s in your best interest to take my offer. I think you’ll find that I can be very persuasive, Mr. Russo. 

Billy did not like the threat that loomed in his words. When you said his name again, he finally answered, “I don’t know. See what you can dig up, and call me later.”

You swallowed hard; you knew something was wrong, “Alright. I’m walking in now,” you both hung up and you decided to leave it at that for now. You knew Billy would tell you what bothered him eventually when he was ready.

You walked past the security camera and were just about to pull the door open when a pained cry got your attention. Never one to ignore someone in need of help, you let go of the door and ran to the side of the building where you heard the cry come from. You looked around, but no one was there, and you figured you must have imagined it. 

Just as you shrugged and were about to turn around, you heard a rush of movement behind you. But before you could turn, a hand that held a cloth covered your face. You screamed into the cloth, but your cry was muffled. A strong arm held you in place, as much as you struggled, and you passed out after a few moments. Just before you blacked out, you recognized the driver of the car you just exited.

Billy busied himself in his office after he hung up with you, but he still had this nagging feeling in the back of his head that would not go away. He glanced down at his phone again, even though it was only a short while since you hung up. Billy sighed and ran his hands through his hair when his phone rang.

He looked down and saw your face on his screen: a photo of you at the beach that he took over the summer. Billy answered with your name and waited for you to say something. When the line stayed silent, he stood and immediately knew something was wrong. He said your name again with more urgency and he scowled when a deep voice laughed on the other end of the time.

“I told you I can be persuasive, Mr. Russo,” Big Ed’s voice rang through the line.

“What the hell did you do? Where the fuck is she?” Billy shouted with rage into the phone, “I swear, if you hurt her…”

“Your girl is fine, Mr. Russo,” Big Ed cut him off, “And she’ll stay that way as long as you follow my instructions.”

“You son of a bitch,” Billy growled as he shook with anger.

Big Ed ignored the insult and went ahead with his instructions, “I’m going to text you an address from this lovely lady’s phone and you’re going to meet me here in exactly one hour. Come alone. If I see even one other person, she dies. Got it, pretty boy?”

Billy snarled as he gripped the phone so hard it almost broke. Between the insult and taking you, this guy just signed his own death certificate, he just didn’t know it yet. The line clicked and right away a text came in with the address along with a photo of you that made his blood boil. You were unconscious and tied to a chair with a piece of duct tape on your mouth. You didn’t look hurt, which was a small relief, but Billy had never felt more angry, and scared, in his life.

“I’m coming for you baby,” he mumbled to himself as he grabbed every weapon he could and bolted out.

You grumbled as you slowly regained consciousness and found yourself in an uncomfortable chair in the middle of a small, dimly lit room. When you tried to move, you found that your arms were bound behind you with an extra amount of rope around your midsection and your ankles were tied to the legs of the chair. You tried to take in a deep breath, but it was hard due to the duct tape on your mouth. 

A laugh from the corner of the room made you snap fully awake as you tried to turn towards the sound.

“About time you joined us here my lovely,” the voice got closer to you as he spoke and you flinched when you felt a hand caress your cheek. “Oh don’t be like that, baby.”

I’m not your baby, you thought as you glared at him. When he stepped more into your line of vision, you recognized him as Big Ed. But, you hid your shock well. When he tried to run his fingers across your skin, you shook your head and mumbled curses through your gag.

“Feisty aren’t you?” he teased you, “I like that in a woman. And you’re smart too, I’ve had to stay one step ahead of your research. Although you’re the closest anyone’s ever come to revealing my past.” 

Big Ed squeezed your cheeks so hard it made tears form in the corners on your eyes as he leaned in and sneered at you, “I really didn’t want to have to do this, but your boyfriend forced my hand.”

I don’t believe that for a second, you thought as you kept your glare pointed at him. You inhaled and reared your head back as far as you could before you pushed it toward and collided with him with as much force as you could muster. 

“Bitch,” he shouted as he hit you across your face in retaliation. 

You let out a muffled cry when his fist connected with the side of your face, and you would have fallen over from the force of his hit had he not grabbed your shirt to keep you seated upright. He was about to hit you again when an alarm sounded down the hallway.

“Right on time,” Big Ed released you and stepped toward the door, “Once I’m finished with your pretty boyfriend, you and I will pick up where we left off.”

His words sent chills down your spine as he stepped out of the room and locked it behind him. You struggled against your restraints but nothing budged and you let out a heavy sigh. There was no doubt in your mind that Billy would find you, but you found yourself worried for his safety because you were sure Big Ed was a man who played dirty. 

From down the hall, you heard multiple gunshots, followed by shouts and grunts. Every sound made you jump, since you had no idea what was happening just outside the door. You heard the sound of what you guessed were bodies slammed against the wall and you knew it was a fight not too far from the room you were trapped in.

Soon, it got quiet and you kept your eyes on the door as you waited with baited breath. You heard the sound of doors slammed open and one by one, you heard it get closer and closer until the door in front of you swung open with a loud bang.

Out of reflex, you squeezed your eyes shut since you couldn’t move at all. You hated the way you felt so helpless and you could only hope that it wasn’t Big Ed that just burst through the door. 

When you heard your name in Billy’s voice, your eyes shot open and you let out a big sigh of relief. You saw Billy stand in the doorway with his gun drawn, blood all over his body and a fierce look on his face. But his face dropped as soon as he saw you and he tucked his gun away and rushed over to you and said your name again.

“Fuck,” even though Billy saw the photo Big Ed sent him, nothing could have prepared him for seeing you like this in person, “It’s ok. It’s ok,” he repeated, “You’re ok baby. I got you.” Billy’s hand shook as he untied your ankles first before he quickly stopped the tape off your mouth and moved to unite your arms. 

“Billy,” your voice was just above a whisper as you choked back tears. 

The moment your arms were free, you wrapped them around him, and he responded right away. Billy slowly brought you to your feet with his arms around your waist as he whispered comforting words into your ear. 

“You’re safe. I’ve got you baby,” Billy said again and he hated how much his voice shook. He held you tight for a few moments before he pulled back to inspect your face, “Are you hurt?” he brought a hand up to your face and he noticed the bloodstain from where Big Ed hit you and frowned.

You shook your head, “I’m fine,” truthfully you felt sore but you didn’t want to worry Billy any more than he already was. All you wanted to do was get out of here and back home, safe in Billy’s arms. 

Suddenly, a noise from the doorway called both of your attention, and Billy turned around to find that a battered and bleeding Big Ed blocked the exit. The man snarled and raised his gun to aim right at you.

Both you and Billy reacted in tandem as you both reached for his gun. Your hands wrapped around the weapon together and it was as if you moved as one. With ease, the two of you raised the gun and shot him right in the head in one fluid motion.

When Big Ed’s lifeless body hit the ground, you let out a heavy breath. Billy lowered the gun and turned his attention back to you; his arms locked themselves tightly around your body once more. Neither of you spoke as he took you back to his penthouse and had your injury looked at then got you cleaned up and changed.

Billy never once left your side and he barely let go of your body since he found you. He was always protective of you, but after this he felt even more determined than ever to keep you safe. While he cleaned you up, he mumbled apologies and promises that he would do better in the future.

You barely spoke and you couldn’t stop the nerves from rushing through your body. It was only when Billy brought you to bed and laid next to you with his arms securely around you that you finally felt yourself relax. You laid with your head on his chest and just listened to the sound of his heartbeat, which finally slowed down from when it spiked earlier.

“I guess I was right about him, huh Billy?” your voice was weak but you still tried to cover your anxieties with humor. Billy let out a single short laugh at that and kissed the top of your head.

It was well past midnight when you were finally able to fall asleep, but Billy laid awake still with you in his embrace. He listened to the sounds of your heavy breaths and soft snores as he ran his fingers across your skin. 

“I’m never gonna let anything happen to you again,” Billy promised your sleeping form before he finally let himself drift off to sleep as well.

~

Notes: Protective!Billy is my JAM!!!! I’ve had this in my head for awhile and I just had to write it!! It’s been a minute since I’ve written for Billy and I miss him so much! And in case anyone is wondering, I did name the bad guy Big Ed after the guy on 90 day fiance lol

Everything taglist:  @thirsty-flygirl @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @the-purity-pen @bisexual-space-slut​

Billy Russo Taglist @witchygagirl​ @runawayolives​ @morriganwarrior @fictionwillneverdie​ @thanossexual​ @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ @fific7​ @shadow-assassin-blix​