#Normal is going through a lot right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

b1gwings · 4 months

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today's dndads was so fucking good and people are making good points about the parallels and cycles of Henry not being proud of Sparrow, and then Sparrow not being proud of Normal which is all so real and heartwrenching. I also noticed something in addition to that when they came back from the past and he started to walk into the woods.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about last episode when Normal said something to Scam about "I can't be around another adult who thinks they deserve to die." The twins are the main adults in his life that think like this, especially with Lark's whole "if someone's going to die for this, it's going to be me" attitude. One of my friends told me about a really good post they saw (although they couldn't find it :( ) about how this is an effect of the adults in Normal's life not wanting to take accountability. They want it to be fixed, but they'd rather die to punish themselves instead of stick around to help fix it.

Normal is sick of this behavior and this seniment. Lark, Sparrow, and the other kiddads ROYALLY fucked up everyone's life -- even though it's their fault Normal would rather see them do something about it. Which makes a lot of fucking sense? He's been around this his entire life, and since learning about Code Purple it's just gotten worse.

Which is why him trying to just walk out into the woods struck me as so interesting. Obviously, baby Normal was not responsible for releasing the flesh monster onto D.A.D.D.I.E.S HQ just like Lark was not responsible for releasting the Doodler. The way I see it, Lark blames himself wholeheartedly for this whole mess. Sparrow too. Their self-hatred only festers into an immensely heavy guilt. It's hard to get out from under those huge feelings. And, yeah, it would be easier to just die -- to punish themselves for fucking up so bad -- than having to figure out a way to fix it. It feels hopeless.

Normal has a moment with that guilt in this episode. He fully believes that it's his fault Code Purple ever happened, and that guilt makes him feel like he needs to isolate himself. It's the same principle of wanting to avoid whatever fucked up shit comes after. Normal can't help but feel that hopelessness that runs in his family -- he's not good enough for these awesome, helpful people because all he's done so far is fuck things up. And despite resenting this behavior from the adults in his life, he falls back into it. Because what is he supposed to do? He's just a kid who messes things up no matter how hard he tries to fix it. Why would his friends even want him around anyway? They're the ones who are actually saving the world.

I just really love the way dndads works with cycles. There are so many and they're all so good (and heartbreaking).

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tortellinigirl · 2 years

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I feel like recently, ADHD has kind of become shorthand for “a person who is annoying online and has no real problems,” and I don’t really think that’s awesome news, given the context that ADHD has a long history of being disregarded as a made up disorder that’s just an excuse for poor/obnoxious behavior, no matter how much scientific research proves otherwise. ADHD is not by any means the only disorder that has people making a thousand misleading tiktoks about it, so perhaps do some critical thinking about why specifically ADHD has become the poster child for that behavior. There are certainly valid criticisms to be made of the way we discuss mental health online, but maybe use your brain and determine why this disorder in particular is the one that’s easiest to point at for being “annoying” and “not that big of a deal.”

#idk maybe if u actually watched a couple of the tiktoks u might learn that the lack of focus thing is reall not the main issue #its just what the people around us are most likely to notice and be bothered by #not saying it doesnt get obnoxious seeing people say the same thing over and over #and yes some people are like purposely vague and disingenuous about the symptoms to get views from people thinking they have it now #but i see that with everything. like autism PTSD depression OCD anxiety #im always getting tiktoks saying that im a lesbian or i have repressed memories or “x normal thing is a symptom of y disorder!!”#and yes its annoying but its probably somewhat helpful to people who actually are dealing w those things #and also like. if u simply stop treating ur for you page like a crystal ball that sees into your soul and reflects it back #and realize its just an algorithm designed to make u interact whether thats bc u like what u saw or fucking hated it #then u will not be as bothered !#but yes our generation seems to have a habit of constantly trying to find the right box to out ourselves in so we can be like. “marketable”#like people seem to want to design their personality like an movie character or something #but its so shitty that we’re dog piling all that on ADHD as if our specific disorder has anything to do with it #also personally i think its kind of normal to be really focused on a particular aspect of your identity when u just discovered it #and it usually evens out and just becomes part of the background of your identity #but yes there’s often a problem with pathologizing normal things #but i think its important to recognize that lots of things that are normal occasionally are pathological in excess. like thats how it works #like we’ve all been through how being sad sometimes is not the same as depression #why cant we grasp that occasionally going into a room and forgetting why you’re there isnt the same as ADHD #my posts

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twilightarcade · 16 days

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hey girl imean th ey

ui-less :3

#wordstag #notwordswordstag #neptune wgen it's being normal about that eclipse thing #no seriously what were they on about #tthis was moreova hey lets use eevry brush they have kinda thing . dude theres a lot i forhghor.#Indirectly (direclty) inspired by that guy from pokemon [fistemoji] youre da real one #I bet you can use this software in an intelligent way. But also holy shit is it fun to just.#cycle through every brush. For my health. And such.#oh my cooood you have no idea what this (gesturing at living a life) is doing 2 me right now. I'm going to frow up.#I've been TELLING them that I just needa Leave but nooooooooooo be participating member of society #top ten tags that don't even begin to have a coherent narrative told between them #I NEED a caption on spl of my posts u have no clue. Unfortunately that results is garbage lik thos #guy angrily throwing away newspaper gif.

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just-rogi · 1 month

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#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it??#I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

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icharchivist · 1 month

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I think there's something pleasant about slipping back into an old hyperfixation

Sure, it feels like you can never truly escape and reality is a joke, but it's warm and comfortable and familiar, like putting on a shirt you used to love wearing but then it kinda slipped into the back of the closet

Sorry about your emotions though

NO YEAH I AGREE

Like it's pleasant but also bittersweet, it's remembering all sort of things you might have forgotten, and why it was so important to you back then and also right now. It can be introspective, just as much as it can be familiar.

but god do you suffer and god do you end up thinking there is no escape from your fate. It's really 'oh no i'm back on my bullshit' type of experience. It's nice but goddamn.

#in my case right now with ff7 it's really hitting hard because i hyperfocused on it at very different ages #first in 2007/2008 then in 2015 to 2017 then 2019/2020 and now right back again #and the stuff i focused on each time were a bit different and similar at the same time #and what kills me is that with the remake i've grown so. so tired of the fanbases esp on twitter #that it made me take some step back (+ all my complicated thoughts about the remake added in)#but it was always something i had in the back of my head and revered a lot #but seeing my theater do a screening of advent children i really thought it'd be a shame for me not to go #and by god i didn't expect the movie to hit me this hard and still connecting to me to that level #it's familiar and homey as much as it is deep and scary #because the good time and passion is intertwined with the sad and the tragic and the way it helped me going through hard times #and the general feeling of 'i thought i outgrew this.' only to be hit by new angles it comes to resonate with me #eerie as fuck at least.#but yeah. this is fine. This is fine i'm normal.#ichareply #anonymous

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vimbry · 1 month

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saw a really fun show tonight! got home took pee and became an ex-member of the never passed out club

#it's oversharing time on tumblr bc I'm a little freaked and have never fainted before haha #we got home and I just suddenly got a lot of pelvic discomfort and nausea like food poisoning #at some point I was thinking oh better go tell my mum in case she needs the bathroom/wondering why I've been up there a while #hey listen don't come upstairs I'm gonna poop massively #and apparently I did actually do that. but I don't remember because the next thing I saw was her looking over me on the floor downstairs #so I still feel like I dreamt that conversation and also the first few things said to me waking up #which is probably normal for passing out right.#really surreal and not a fun thing to happen. fortunately only happened for a few seconds but felt like I was out longer #I'm sure experienced faintees are looking at this as no big deal but it kinda shook me ngl #I'm better so I think I'm just dehydrated (I do drink through the day. maybe it's still not enough as it should be tho?)#but apparently I went grey and blue lipped which is just scary for everyone! I'm ok now #I'm just lying here searching my symptoms and going hm. fascinsting like a cartoon scientist in-between being dramatic and scared #I never did poop

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skoulsons · 5 months

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#life has just been nothing short of hard thing after hard thing the past little while #and me. being the emotional person that I am. it hits me very hard.#drama and death and mental health concerns and sickness and broken relationships and #well now I’m sick and it’s a really bad cold. one of the worst I’ve had for sure. may have to go to the doc tomorrow if I’m not any better #could be worse I know #but on top of everything it just makes it worse #brushing my teeth has become a last resort because I’ve just been exhausted past what a normal human should experience #productivity right now is very low #sleep has been a nightmare #I really need a break.#I’ll get one. I know I will. things will clear up. all will be fine.#God is good. I know He’s with me through this.#but boy is there a lot going on right now.#and I’ve just. a stupid part of me just wants to disappear and cut contact with everyone.#not that it would help. I know it wouldn’t. humans are social. people care I guess.#life is just. it’s rough.

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nemossis · 6 months

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the autism is kicking in (click the first image to see the full sketch)

#nemo #my art #🦷#please please please ask me abour him i promise to be so normal (<- lie)#he's going through a lot right now. but also. pretty dress :)#generations smp

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astralarias · 4 months

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I've got so much anxiety and stress inside my chest right now i wanna claw it out. I'm not stressed, but my body is and it feels so awful.

#there is absolutely no reason for it either #I've had a lot of nightmares recently but that's it #I can't even think it through like normal anxiety because there is no logical component like #I as a person am not worried at all right now #just my body will just not chill out #and it hurts #gonna do some breathwork after dinner and go to bed augh

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wlw-cryptid · 4 months

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what does stimming mean

the word itself is a riff on "stimulation" and the action of stimming is an autism/adhd thing mostly? I believe it's usually like a(n often unorthodox) natural expression/reaction to whatever situation you're in. repetitive body movements me personally. i wiggle in my seat when im really happy or flustered or something because i just dont know how else to let all that out and its gotta go Somewhere

like. sometimes you feel an emotion so much that the reaction bubbles up and overflows into a physical energy, with a common example being flapping hands when youre happy, or clenching your fists really hard when youre overwhelmed by your environment. stims can be bigger things too, like rocking, bouncing, or spinning around.

BUT i think it can also be a stimulation seeking thing too? like being Understimulated so you start scratching at your skin, rubbing a certain kind of fabric, or tapping on a surface. like i said, a common stimming example is rocking. like in your seat, on your feet, or maybe in bed. its Soothing. stimming can give your brain a Sensation it was desperately looking for like that n a person often feels calmer because of it. but i might just be conflating this side of things with something that is more accurately put under a different name.

#one way or another im fairly sure stimming generally comes in the form of an expression or like a self-soothing action.#repetitive and physical things that come as naturally as laughing. your brains way of sorting through big piles of emotion stuff #some of these might be really obvious but i think a lot of stimmy behaviors are more subtle things that people just DO and its not that big #of a deal. you feel me #its just. its not something you Choose to do necessarily. maybe you can channel that energy into a different stim but the river is going to #flow one way or another #she speaks #anon #asks #i get shy about my happy wiggles. especially when im being flirted with and i just. i cant help it. i know it looks silly but its like #impossible to Not to. it would be extremely difficult to try and suppress it and react more normally #if im being honest? i dont think ive really stimmed during sex before. i get overwhelmed during sex really easy and me and brain havent #settled on a way to sort through all those emotions and sensations. i feel like usually a stim Would go there but right now. nothin

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lunapwrites · 1 year

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I feel compelled to note that I have not given up on Louder Than Love and will not be until it is good and finished. I just needed to step back and get a little perspective for a bit. Write some other things. Read again. You know how it goes. Coming back refreshed in the near future.

But yeah no it has not escaped my notice that we're creeping up on a year since my last actual update (rather than just me writing and rewriting a chapter 80 million times.) I hate that lol. But yeah if I give up I'll flat out say so, trust me.

(No one has been bugging me about it just to clarify, I'm just bugging myself lol.)

#i also just sometimes go through phases where like #the discourse bothers me more than normal #i understand why people don't like Remadora.#(and I'm sure there's people who don't like Wolfstar i just tend to be on one side of the circle lol)#but it wears on me to hear ppl call part of what i write trash or invalid or disgusting all the time #i feel a lot of pressure to get it right and do justice to both parts #and i needed to step back and remember why i was writing.#i don't write well if I'm not enjoying it #and i wasn't for a while.#but I've got a game plan now. :)#thank you for your patience #hp #louder than love #ltl posting

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angelsfalling16 · 1 year

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#its been a long while since ive made one of these posts #want to preface it by saying im okay #im just going through a lot #this whole school year has been really awful #its just been constant one thing after the other #most recently i got bit by a student and sent to the hospital bc it swelled so much #im fine its mostly just some really bad bruising now (and no broken skin)#its just been frustrating when i cant do things like normal because of the pain #ive also got other things going on that i wont get into #but im just feeling very emotionally drained and physically exhausting #i keep pushing through and trying to act like everything is fine #but its taking its toll on me #im struggling to keep it together this week but i know i need to #ive cried on the way to work two days in a row now and i have a feeling tomorrow will be a third #its just hard to make myself go there when im surrounded by so much negativity #but i honestly love my job #and i know ill be fine #things are just difficult right now and i have to keep looking for the good things #being out in the sun helps so ive been doing a lot of that #and ive been trying to look at the positive sides of things when i can #i just feel like i shouldnt let my feelings be so big bc it feels selfish right now #anyway #i just needed to put this all down in words somewhere #it helps to get it out #thanks to anyone who actually read this #i hope youre doing well 💙#delete later #late night ramblings #probably delete in morning #this whole thing is a mess

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pepprs · 2 years

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also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!

#purrs #delete later #sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me #and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take #care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight #and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not #an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid #and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and #keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top #priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she #cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and #then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma #onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and #nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l #lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day?#ask to tag #like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f #far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls #LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all #* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy #human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha

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arthur-r · 8 months

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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.

#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month #in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom #if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all #anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight #within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person #so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave #i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place #like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost #and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with #i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course #that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and #i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me #and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change #i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal #and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it #my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything #and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again #and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in #(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here #and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you #think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved #because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night

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thatdude-noah · 8 months

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rahhhh the urge to post in depth thoughts about my life

#vague posting about myself uh uh #how do i do this without revealing any personal information about myself #currently going through a Transitional Period in my life #and a lot of things are changing at once and it sucks a lot!!!#and it makes me sad and happy and excited and scared #and also poor oh my god i have no money jesus christ #it is. a lot for me to be going through!#this is Normal and i'll be fine in like a month. but for right now im just crying a lot and trying to cope and trying to live with life.#life changes so fast man i don't know how to deal with it. i swear this wasn't supposed to happen yet.#n e wayz vague posting about my life <3

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goldkirk · 2 years

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geez. I want so badly all the time now to get back in contact with other people and apologize to my relatives and try to explain why I ghost everyone and apologize and explain what I’ll do instead in the future but I cannot even remotely get myself to execute a plan to do that

#i got a lot to apologize to a lot of people for #a lot of kids I’ve let down by not following through on things I said I’d do months ago #and a couple weeks ago #and i found out my birthday is only days away and I don’t want it and I don’t like that and I would rather be unreachable in the Arctic than #consider a birthday right now #i don’t know what I am as a person and I don’t considtently perform or feel the same hour to hour and I haven’t told anyone anything for #months and also I keep avoiding any and all medical care and if someone tried to make me I’d be relieved but also run away #it’s just fucked #I know I’m making rewiring progress but it feels like I’m locked in a claw machine #watching my external shapeshifter self secretly make each of her attempts fail #I’m back to feeling like I’m losing my sanity a lot of the time again #mostly I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where to start.#i thought getting enough sleep every night would unlock more than this #and getting set loose on food and gaining weight for once #and living in a safer place and having my ability to journal start creeping back #I’ve drunk the water I take the meds I build the safety I eat the food I care for the dog I keep myself calm I try to be aware of my body #i do the breath work I do the yoga none of it DOES anything I’m just STUCK #i keep having the same debates and the same sabotage and the same inaction over and over and over again #but if I let go of some control the little kid ‘I’m the center of the universe’#part of me comes out and makes me go WAY too hard with see-sawing the opposite direction of normal #and it makes people uncomfortable and ends up preventing me from getting taken seriously ANYWAY #raps on head gently. please. i am fucking begging #either shut off the pride for a while so I can get us through the agonizing and mortifying shame stage while I get help or shut off the #self sabotage so I can get help while retaining pride #jesus h Christ #please #I KNOW I DON’T SEE MY OWNSYMPTOM SEVERITY CLEARLY U CAN’T FOOL ME BRAIN #I know what avoidant numbing is!!! i know what unaffected attitude and minimizing and laughing it off are!#I’m not gonna back off this time I NEED TO GET OUT OF DEBT AND INTO HAVING HOBBIES U DUMB BRAIN please for the love of god work with d #*me

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