#Obey me incorrect quotes

[devildomsoup]

MC: Levi?

Leviathan: yes?

MC: Have you ever considered dying your hair just a tiny bit darker and then watching everybody go crazy trying to figure out what has changed?

Leviathan: I- No?

[tsukii0002]

Beel: Mc is very angry….

Lucifer: Don't worry, they'll get over it soon.

Beel: How can you be so sure?

Lucifer: *smirk* Because I've enchanted the mayonnaise so they can't open it, they'll ask us for help.

Beel: Ooooh and do you think that-

A sound of glass breaking is heard and they run over there.

Lucifer and Beel: …

Mc: *with the broken glass mayonnaise jar in one hand* …. *staring at them* …

Lucifer: …

Mc: *being a proud bastard almost as much as the avatar of pride* Hum *leaves without saying anything to them*

Beel: I guess we'll have to look for another way…

Lucifer:… Sometimes I forget why they have a pact with me.

.

[villianbell]

Host: And for your final question! Please identify this figure?

Mammon: …Like are we supposed to know that??-

Mc: *slaps buzzer* A 5TH SEASON LIMITED ADDTION SPRING RUI FIGURE-

Host: CORRECT!

Asmo: How could you have possibly guessed that?

Mc: I listen to Levi gush about the rui figures he wants

Levi: *from a distance within the crowd* YOU DO CAAAAAARRREEEEE!!!!

[kpop-otome-yandere-here]

Lucifer: Okay, one more time. You said you asked everyone if they wanted pizza.

Mc: Yes.

Lucifer: And they said no?

Mc: Also, yes.

Lucifer: And then Belphie came down and took a slice of it, to which you-

Mc: Took my fucking pizza back from that asshole and told him to make his own damn dinner.

Lucifer: But when Mammon asked for some-

Mc: (throws her hands in the air)

Mc: What did you expect me to do, let him fucking STARVE?!

[valsdelulucorner]

Imagine the brothers underestimate the power of the human worlds sun

Ok so, you guys go on a trip to the human world, preferably Australia or New Zealand. You guys head up there for a holiday and rent out a lovely large house for a few weeks.

You and the brothers head down to the beach and they are ecstatic, completely ignoring you and asmo's reminders to put on sunscreen. While they go out and play under the hot sun, you and asmo are reapplying sunblock every time you get out of the water and every hour/half hour

You saw their noses and shoulders start to go alittle bit so you thought is was a good idea to remind them to reaply sunblock, only for them to tell you they are demons and will probably be fine. Knowing NZ and aussie sun, you shrug and just go relax in the shade with asmo

After a long day at the beach and a long walk home, to no one's surprise they all look like little party sausages with how red their skin are. Satan is 100% slapping Lucifers burnt back with aloe gel, he is not happy about that

All the burnt brothers would start whining about their burns and start clinging to you more, enjoying the fact that you help apply aloe gel to their burns. Asmo just enjoys the view, smug about being the only one besides you not burnt to a piece of bacon

. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is so stupid but it has been SO HOT over here during christmas, so it kinda gave me the inspo to do this

I just had some really strange chicken and now im bed ridden, be expecting some more art and writing if i feel better

[rabidferretnightmares]

Simeon: What do we say when making bread? MC, glumly: That's the dough rising Simeon: And what do we not say? Solomon, sadly: That's the yeast fucking

[overheardbyvarioustherapists]

MC: What a day... Lucifer: MC, it's not even noon yet. Simeon: That makes three of us in need of a tea break. Barbatos, with a tray of tea and snacks: Make that four.

[l3viat8an]

MC:*walking into the dining room Mother’s Day morning* IF YOU’VE HAD MY TITS IN YOUR MOUTH YOU OWE ME A MOTHERS DAY PRESENT!!!

*All the brothers immediately scramble up from the breakfast table and run for the door* 

MC:*smiles and sits down to eat breakfast in peace.* 

I tried to format this like one of your posts enjoy ♡

Helsohsksjsk nonnie, this is fuckin’ hilarious ‘n absolutely perfect!!!-

MC’s about to have a whole pile of gifts from the brothers trying to outdo each other sksjksj

[notcreative360]

I can only imaging God finally snapping at Mc..

.

.

.

God: *Summoning Mc to his throne*

Mc: ...What the fu-

God: Stop it.

Mc: ..Stop what?

God: EVERYTHING!!! STOP EVERYTHING THAT YOU ARE DOING!!

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Looking back at the Wattpad stories I wrote , me and my 14 y.o readers fucking loved whatever garbage I wrote.

I wanna delete it so bad , but it have 2M views , like if someone blackmailed me with my stories, I would literally sign a contract with the devil.

THE EMBARRASSMENT IS REAL-

[saturncodedstarlette]

Solomon, encouraging MC : —and you’re clearly very powerful now, starlight. You managed to take down a legion of monsters all by yourself without my help.

MC, still doubtful : Do you really think I’m powerful?

Solomon, cradling your face in his palms : I, for one, find you terrifying

[devildomsoup]

MC: Diavolo the The Devildom is basically hell right?

Diavolo: Well I suppose to some-

MC: Do you folks have have like a list of every person who lives here?

Diavolo: Yes why?

MC: I need you to give me the name and address of the guy who put letters in math

[anintrovertedechoe]

Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

[villianbell]

Diavolo : It's hard to deny that I've fallen for Mc...Their grace...Their bravery...I admire everything about them

Barbatos: .....

*Barbatos yesterday, who saw mc walking by from class*

Mc: *Randomly trips over a rock and falls down. Looks up and sees a bug before them on the ground. Then instantly freaks out and runs away.*

*Back to present time*

Barbatos: Ah...Yes...Their grace and bravery...It's hard to miss, Young Master...

[kpop-otome-yandere-here]

Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

[valsdelulucorner]

Important question for obey me fans

I have heard many people pronounce Diavolo differently and im just wondering, how do you pronounce it?

Dee-a-volo

Die-volo

Die-a-volo

Dia-vilo

Dia-volo