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#Ofc they got trauma
soonielo · 4 months
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One more the little guys. this dude vibing hard. -
The dance enthralled by The Clown. Movement wild as a lover's heart, grace of the cradling sea. The price? A mind entombed in ancient ice.
So dance heartfelt and silly. You young thing have too much celebrate.
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strawberryspence · 2 years
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happy birthday, @stevesbipanic! i am glad you were born, you amazing human being. I hope you get to drink the coldest, most delicious, bougiest milo you can have. ILY broccoli! 💛
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Steve has never had a birthday cake. He doesn't count the first six cakes his parents had for him, because he's pretty sure it was only for appearances.
He remembers his seventh birthday. How badly he wanted to have a Flintstones themed birthday party, and how his parents called it tacky. Instead, Steve had a lavish tea party with all of their investor friends. He remembers hating it.
After that, there's— nothing. There were Nannies or Babysitters that tried to make him feel better by bringing him to Benny's and he's thankful for that. But there's always that heart wrenching rip in his system when he sees a child. Surrounded by family, singing happy birthday as they wait to blow on a cake.
And the thing is if Steve never gets to have that, it’s okay. It’s really, really, really, okay. That also means he’ll do his best to give all the kids the best birthdays they can have, so they can never feel what he felt. If El wants a day just full of craft making? Sure. Dustin wants to visit this damn planetarium in Indianapolis? Okay. Mike wants to dress him like him for an entire day? Alright.
Steve is happy that way, until Eddie Munson comes crashing into his life with a broken bottle. And okay, maybe it’s not a great idea to lie in the biggest and probably the most important relationship he has right now, but he’s not going to tell Eddie his little sad secret.
What he forgot to account for is the fact that his boyfriend is the biggest snoop to ever exist.
“Wha— What’s this?” Steve stammers as he enters his house. It’s almost always dark when he comes home, the house dull and empty.
Tonight, it’s different. After having his birthday dinner with Robin, Steve drives them back to his house so they can have movie night. Supposedly.
Instead, Eddie’s standing behind the long wooden dining table that never gets used, with 20 different cupcakes, all lit with a candle. There’s food and banners and balloons with streamers.
Robin pushes him forward with a smile, “So…” Eddie walks towards him, “I found some of your childhood pictures.”
“Oh.” Steve breathes out.
“Look, maybe I am wrong. Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe your parents just weren’t the kind of people that liked taking pictures and having to develop them. Maybe someday, you’ll tell me why you only have one childhood photo album or why there’s no pictures of your birthday parties past the age of six.”
Eddie says, hands nervously twisting around his hair, “But, on the off chance that I am right,” He shakes his head in disbelief, “On the off chance that you haven’t had a birthday cake or a birthday wish in 14 years, I got you 20 birthday cupcakes.”
Steve can barely hold himself anymore, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, “Why 20?”
Eddie smiles at him, and his eyes sparkle at Steve like he hung the damn moon and stars, like he fucking created the whole universe, “One for every year my favorite person has been alive.”
Steve chokes down a half sob, half whine as he slaps a hand on his mouth.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Eddie whispers as he wraps Steve in a comforting hug. They stay like that for a minute before Eddie says, “I am so happy you were born. There’s a few more people that are happy, they’re all hiding in the kitchen right now.”
“What?” Steve pulls back, hastily wiping his tears.
“The kids are all here. Nance, Jonathan, and Argyle.” Eddie tenderly wipes a stray tear off his cheek, “Even Wayne, Hop, Joyce, and Mrs. Henderson is here.”
Steve’s not sure if he wants to know, but he still asks, “Why?”
Eddie visibly softens, but before he can answer Robin answers for him, “Because we all love you, Dingus.”
“So, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to sit behind the cupcakes and they’re going to come out from where they’ve been eavesdropping.” Steve laughs when Eddie emphasizes the word, and there’s a clatter in the kitchen followed by whispering, “They’re going to act normal. And we’re going to sing you a song. Okay?”
Steve smiles, nodding, “Okay.”
“Okay.” Eddie says as he runs to the kitchen and as Robin ushers him to sit in front of the cupcakes. She forces a birthday hat on his hair, and he doesn’t even argue.
They all come out from the kitchen, all smiling and wearing ridiculous birthday hats. Even Hop and Wayne are wearing them and it might actually be the funniest thing he’s ever seen. The kids have blow horns that fill the silent house with joyous sounds.
They sing him a birthday song. It’s loud and it doesn’t exactly sound good. Dustin’s trying a new other pitch and Lucas has never been a good singer. Max is drumming on the table and El has a small tambourine. Mike and Will are trying to do some kind of duet in their own little bubble. But it’s the most beautiful, harmonious sound to Steve.
And as they all urged him to make a wish, Steve is struck with awe and disbelief, a feeling of realization sparking in his veins. Steve’s got everything he’s ever wanted right in front of him. He just wants all of them to be safe and sound.
He smiles at his family, as he lets his eyelid flutter shut.
And for the first time, Steve makes a birthday wish.
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Edit:
Steve smiles, happy and content, as everyone chitchats around him.
"Hey, Eds?" Steve calls out for his boyfriend who's busy stuffing his face with bread rolls.
"Yeam?" Eddie replies, still chewing on the bread.
"Can I have a Flintstone themed birthday next year?"
Eddie swallows his bread with water, before turning to Steve with a smile so bright it could blind him. He moves closer to give his temple a light kiss.
"You got it, sweetheart. I'll be Fred, you'll be Wilma. It will be perfect."
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hauntingofhouses · 9 months
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(concept art of young taigen - source ; art credit: @abigaillarson)
i cannot get over this concept art of young taigen. god.
just look at this angry bratty boy, too many feelings that he doesnt know what to do with! an abused 9 year old kid in poverty always playing with sticks in the dirt, obsessed with greatness and dreaming to escape his decrepit village—and he does!
he does escape. he runs away. this angry little boy, all claws and teeth and biting words uttered with a lisp, going on the run into a world he's never seen before until he makes his way to kyoto. and knowing him he probably forced his way in to be accepted by the dojo, growling and kicking even as he's thrown out, back into the streets, too stubborn to take no for an answer and never knowing when to give up.
taigen calls mizu a dog, weak, an orphan, a scrawny street urchin. but i can't help but think that he feels so bold to use those words because he had them spat at him too.
because taigen had the idea of "this is how the world is" beat into him from birth. he learned quickly that if you couldn't beat the world you could join it. but that meant losing your way, your values, your principles. and isn't that what true honour is? not just titles and status and glory?
we don't get to see what taigen, as a child surrounded by peers encouraging and goading him on, would've actually done if that meteor hadn't fallen right in front of them at that very moment. would he have really tried to throw that stone on mizu, killing her? we don't know.
but we do see what taigen (his true self, with no one around) does, when presented with the same opportunity. when mizu passes out in front of him, unconscious and near death, vulnerable, the path to restoring his honour lays itself out for him on a silver platter. and he wants to take it, wants to kill mizu, to claim what is his and return to kyoto and get back everything he'd worked tooth and nail for. he feels like it's what he should do. but he doesn't.
and later, again he is presented with the chance to betray mizu, likely offered by heiji shindo to get his rank reinstated within the shindo dojo. and again, taigen doesn't take it. he refuses. "stupidly loyal," fowler calls him later. loyal, like a dog.
because now, pulled away from the sneering looks and jeering words of people around him, telling him that this is what the world is, taigen had met ringo and mizu, two outcasts who refuse to follow a predetermined path to greatness. and so inside something blooms in him. something like hope. a chance to live in a world that doesn't kick you down every chance it gets, to live in a world where genuine kindness and and love and friendship and even weakness is possible, allowed to simply exist without fear.
because he'd been running away from the very idea of it the whole time. when he ran from kohama, he never looked back, never wanted to remember what it was like to be a child, afraid and hungry and angry and hurting, without the words to make sense of it, desperately wishing for something. something more. he doesn't know what. but he hears stories of great swordsmen and decides, yes, this must be it. this is what i want: glory, greatness. the twisted seed gets planted and thrives in this barren land.
and when he returns to kohama with mizu and ringo, he at last is forced to stop running. he must face the child within him again, and he tells that child to put down the stones in his hand, tells him to stop barking at anything that moves or looks at him wrong.
the child drops the stone, and taigen buys dumplings instead, gives them to mizu. the child within him, wide-eyed at the prospect of friendship, moves him to pick up a hammer and toss it to mizu. he's smiling inside even as he does it; giggling like a kid hiding a silly prank. as soon as mizu drops the hammer after him, he leaps at her, tackling her to the ground and they wrestle and laugh unbridled like two children playing while the adults aren't around to barge in and yell at them.
and then his gaze catches on mizu's lips, he stares into mizu's eyes, a sparkling blue, inviting like the open sea in good weather.
it's a man's desire that takes hold then, the child in him sinking away again, and he curses himself for it, because it ruins the moment.
everything goes to shit from there, and then it's back to being a man, back to putting on his grown-up's armour to play hero.
it fails. the shogun dies. fowler's beatings reopen all the wounds left by heiji shindo's torture. "honour is meaningless," mizu tells him. "nothing comes from being a samurai but death."
the words follow him, and he follows the words.
as everything burns down, he runs, leaving the fire behind him, and sees akemi, as well as the verdure of spring behind her, calling him. he does not hesitate then to hold his hand out to her, inviting her to come with him. "i don't want to be great," he says. "i just want to be happy."
what is happiness to him? perhaps he doesn't know it yet, or perhaps he does. but really, i believe happiness is what the child in him always wanted but never received. happiness is a home.
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yuwuta · 2 months
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peds surgeon yuuta??? u cant say things like that i need to jump. the cartoons, the glasses, of course his freaky ass would have a thing for u calling him doctor okkotsu i need to die id wanna tease him sm and be all over him but i cant think of anything if its in a hospital how did the greys anatomy ppl made it work?
the grey’s doctors were FREAKS LMFAOO bc there is not space to be doing all that in the on call rooms…. honestly yuuta is probably too busy to even try anything with you in the hospital 90% of the time… he’s either in surgery or buried in the research library or falling asleep standing up 😭 sometimes you two pass each other in an empty stairwell and have time for a kiss or two, but never more than that (also because yuuta has very little self-restraint when it comes to you… if he allowed himself more than that, then it would be much harder to stop…) 
sometimes the two of you will fall asleep in the same on call room. yuuta will page you there and by the time you arrive he’s already half asleep, it’s probably his only nap in the last 24 hours, so you do your best not to wake wake him when you cuddle up next to him. you get a few hours of bliss in his arms before his pager is waking the both of you up, and he’s got to scurry downstairs to the peds floor and in his hurry he doesn’t realize he’s snagged your lab coat instead of his own, and it’s only when he’s haphazardly slipped it on and the arms are too short and the shoulders are too tight that he figures it out. it’s too late by then, because gojo is the attending on this case which means he doesn’t miss anything, which means he’s the first to giggle and tease, poking at your name embroidered above the breast pocket, “oh? i didn’t know the two of you got married already! oh and you took her last name, how noble, yuuta!~” 
#anonymous#there's technically two separate doctor aus in my head#one is a gojo-verse where he's not a doctor but reader/kento/yuuji/shoko are in that one little drabble i posted#but in this gojo's anatomy universe they all get to be doctors 🙂‍↕️#some specialities are up in the air but so far peds unit is yuuta (resident) and choso (attending) and they do Not mess around#so very calm and gentle and sweet w the kids but when it comes to the medicine to the surgery to the treatments theyre Mean#they dont play around they dont lack of empathy they wont have it#i think... i think we have to have gojo as a brain surgeon... unfortunately... i think we do......#yuuji is a trauma resident in the other au but i think i'd do the same for him here idk it just fits him 😔#megumi is like..... the radiologist/x-ray tech that gets 40 calls an hour bc everyone wants their scans read in 20 seconds#and hes like no its Not a tumor no i wont run it again and no i dont have time for this 😐#or megumi is actually the parademic who brings in to the ER and hes like well these r drunk college kids... best of luck!#or megumi physical therapist... with his physical therapy dogs.....#nobara ortho resident and shes Scary LMFAOO#old lady comes in for a hip replacement and nobara's got her playlist on full blast having the time of her life hacking away LMFAO#nanami in internal/emergency medicine and hes trying to have his five (5) minutes of peace#and ofc gojo pops up like gnat and hes like nanamin! can i put this patient on blood thiners! and there goes nanamis lunch#yuuta.ask#doctor au
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fvngus · 4 months
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When your group's wizard is evocation school :)
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phoenix-art-official · 11 months
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dont ask me why i made this, its all my hand felt like producing
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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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cantagirldrawinpeace · 6 months
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Been reading Law Novel 👍
(super legally and not at all from a Google Docs English fan translation 👀)
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WOLF ONE PIECE I KNOW YOURE NOT CANON BUT YOU REMAIN FOREVER FAMOUS TO MEEEE!!!
(Handwriting translations under the cut)
1-
Law: Junk-ya this is Bepo. He’s a polar bear and he’s going to live with us now. Be nice
Bepo: He brought me here without explaining anything..sorry….
2-
I like this sad old man :)
3-
Wolf: I swear, I let ONE kid stay - out of pure convenience - and they just kept multiplying!
Dadan: Tell me about it…
Both of them, thinking: I LOVE MY FUCKIN KIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!!
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witchering10123 · 6 months
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is this ooc for kya and hakoda? yes but HEAR ME OUT neglected sokka
sokka seeing katara waterbend for the first time. sokka dragging katara back into their igloo like "mum! dad! look at this look at this!!!" and being so excited because his little sister is a waterbender, that's so cool, and his parents are making a really big deal about it and hurrying katara out to see the elders and sokkas falling a little bit behind but that's ok, because katara's a waterbender and they need to tell the elders
and so they host this celebration - nothing big because they may still get traders but they don't want this to go out to the fire nation - and hakoda and kya are doting over katara and making sure she's had enough to eat and everything and sokka... feels a little weird. he knows its kataras special day but he just feels a little lonely, but when he goes up to his parents they tell him they're busy, so he tells himself that he'll talk to them tomorrow.
but then the next day, his dad is in meetings all day - that are about katara, he gleans from gilak and bato, who look a little confused as to why sokka's alone - and when he goes to find his mum, she's with katara and she's watching her shakily try to bend on command, instead of by accident. so he goes up to her to say hi but she tells him that she's busy and not to distract her. sokka frowns because it doesn't look like she's doing anything and can't he say hi? but then katara loses concentration to say hi to sokka, and though his mum smiles at katara, she doesn't spare another glance at sokka.
which. is fine. he thinks. obviously life is different now that his little sister is a waterbender and he had sooo many adults tell him as such when their village celebrated it, so... it's fine. maybe it's just because his parents look a little worried, he thinks, as they sit down to eat before bed. they do look worried.
and then katara says that she's tired, and his parents wish her good night and their mum goes to tell her a bedtime story and it's exactly as it should be. except that sokkas still eating and they usually wait til both of them are in their cots before the story happens. so he tells her to wait while he quickly shovels his food into his mouth, and he thinks it's fine but then once he's eaten and moving towards his cot, he hears the end of the story
he pouts, saying that he wanted to hear it too, but his mum tells him not now, sokka. she sounds tired. he doesn't care, he wanted to hear it too. she sounds a little angry when she tells him to be quiet, because kataras sleeping, but he doesn't care, he wanted to hear the story and why didn't she wait? it's his dad that scolds him this time, telling him that katara needs her rest. sokka goes to say that he was only a few extra minutes, but he's shut down. his parents tell him that they won't be speaking to him when he's being so rude, and sokka doesn't understand but hes too tired so he cries in his cot before falling asleep.
the next morning, his dad isn't there and neither are katara and his mum. and he learns. he learns through his parents ignoring him when he asks a question and scolding him when he wants something that he's selfish. what else could he be, trying to put himself above his sister, who could be targeted by the fire nation (which he didn't originally know, he finds that out when his dad yells at him one day and, oh ok maybe he is being a bit selfish) and katara needs her parents more anyway because shes the only waterbender, she needs guidance in connecting to her culture and her history. he wonders whether it's technically his history too, but he doesn't ask. he stopped asking a while ago, stopped talking a while ago.
he thinks he hates katara a little. bato tilts his head and asks him why, when he tentatively tells him after the man prods and prods because "I haven't heard you speak for ages kid, you ok?", and sokka doesn't have an answer for him because he doesn't know why he hates katara but he doesn't want to hate her, it's just that his parents like her more cause she's a waterbender. bato tells him thats silly, of course his parents like him, and he ducks his head and mumbles an apology and doesn't notice the way bato frowns and glances over to gilak, who sports an equally worried frown.
the next day his dad takes him fishing. he's so excited but he's nervous too, he doesn't want to upset his dad and his dad is already looking at him weirdly that morning so he answers the questions his dad awkwardly pushes towards him and doesn't ask for help even when he can't get the bait on his hook, and eventually his dad takes the rod from him and does it for him, and he apologises but his dad looks at him weirdly again and so he doesn't speak again on the trip. but... it's nice. his dad claps him on the back everytime he catches a fish and he proudly displays his three fish to him at the end and gets a laugh for his efforts. so. it's nice.
the following week, there's a raid on their tribe. sokka runs towards their igloo, having lost katara in all the chaos. he pulls to a stop by the entrance, hearing his mum talking to some guy about the waterbender and... what is she doing?
he freezes. the man stomps out of their home, sees sokka and throws him aside. sokka doesn't feel the bruises til the next day, and when he does he doesn't care.
there's no point. he's got to take care of katara. that's his job now
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gaskarth · 1 month
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went to the beach today and it was really fun until a guy flashed me in the bathroom right as we were leaving :(
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puppetsoftomorrow · 8 months
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my pitch for a legends s8 would be the multiverse, because we all know if the legends met their alternate universe selves their first discussion wld be an debate about the ethics of having sex with your alternate universe self
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thattheater-kid · 2 months
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POV you lost your last host for 11 months, and I mean straight disappeared off the face of the earth for almost a year, only for them to come back as a manager because, and I quote, “you people almost wrecked my life, you can’t survive without me”
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nonasbirthday · 2 years
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ok listen this is terrible but you know how when britney was freed from her conservatorship everyone was like “well just be prepared for her to make some bad decisions, people who never had control over their lives will do that sometimes to assert their independence.”
that, but for kiriona gaia.
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mad-hunts · 3 months
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this is a very specific scenario, i know, but barton trauma-bonding with a hero and vice versa because they got stuck in the middle of the desert together due to the fact that they were both simultaneously betrayed / LEFT TO DIE there, but they managed to survive after they spent some time vehemently refusing to help each other in the beginning. though, they soon began to help each other (albeit reluctantly) because they realized that would be the ONLY way that they would survive this. and barton tries to kickstart their bastardization arc™ by telling the hero to kill the people who dumped them there. and this is because, in his mind, they don't deserve to live. then barton goes on to tell them that he's planning on killing the person who betrayed him so it's fineee if the hero does it,, because he ain't a snitch + won't tell anyone they killed anyone (,: now whether or not the hero actually starts their bastardization arc is up to them, of course, but if anyone is interested in a plot like this... HMU because i think this would be such an interesting dynamic to roleplay 👀
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ahh. we love... two people that normally wouldn't interact on friendly terms.... trauma-bonding? 🫠 idk LOL but something-#about this plot satisfied a dynamic that i've been wanting for a while and that is the ' people who hate each other become friends -#through a near-death experience / something that FORCES them to depend on each other ' type of thing and just. Thinking about how-#ruthless the desert can be in terms of survivability makes it that much more believable for me that two people would only really-#be able to stay alive there if they actually start collaborating with each other and set aside whatever differences they may have had-#from before so yeah. plus i just... idk why but i just kind of want barton to be friends with a hero okok though not through traditional-#means ofc because they would hate him which is more than deserved. though just imagining them trying to get 'back to normal' after this-#happens and by that i mean them having the usual 'hero-villain' dynamic BUT it doesn't work especially in barton's case-#bc they showed barton that they could trust him and he actually LIKES them as a person now so they just kind of. Meet in secret-#sometimes now and because they were out there for a while (i'm thinking probably around 2-3 months) perhaps they-#depended on each other for comfort too bc OMG is that a long ass time to be deserted somewhere and so man's will just sort of cuddle-#up to them like they did in the desert with his head in their lap as they run a hand through his hair and basically. Yeah they've got a-#complicated relationship now to say the least 😅#tw: mentions of murder.
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artsycloudysleepy · 3 months
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Drawing Dump!
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oh and meet another OC: lily/iliad (fae/faer, has two names)! fae's the God/Guardian of the Arts in Fabrication (so art, music, writing, dance, and drama). faer design is my fav so far if i'm being honest haha, really like how it came out :D
(nye this is one of the two OCs who i've written with MDD so far! cody also has it - am going to make some human ones too methinks. thanks so much again for the tips!!!)
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pppppllllluuuuusssss chara and asriel art i already posted in january but still like enough to promote again now that i uh. actually have followers :3
(also this is TOTALLY targeting a mutual who should really play undertale....................... hint hint hint /silly)
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@mylackofgrammaristerrifying @mrrotten @nyenylon hiiiiiiiii hope you guys are having a fun timezone!! what're you guys up to? :)
#artsy's post#artsy's fabrication#artsy's ocs#artsy's art#artsy's asuna#artsy's chaaya#artsy's socks#artsy's thunder#artsy's chichi#artsy's fenix#artsy's lily/iliad#artsy's ship: fichi#artsy's ship: ashes#not gonna tag isat or undertale but siffrin (top left) isn't an OC!!!! they're a silly game character. play in stars and time <3#and dw moot i'm not gonna force you to play UT and won't bug you anymore about it!!! but i do recommend it massively :D#anyway in terms of the art#i tried pixel for the first time!! nothing fancy ofc haha. scared of that lol#did azzie first and thunder next (you can tell bc azzie looks awful /hj)#poisoned the art so now the pixels have slightly off colours/are patchy which uh. looks like the exact thing i'm trying to prevent lmao#it's real art it just got screwed with by the poison!!! fuck ai and ai '''''''''artists''''''''' >:(#and another queer oc joins the chat!!! i have cishet ones i swear. but i have many queer ones too (far more than cishet) :)#lily is a god (guardian) who...... kinda just has fun? fae's the youngest of the guardians (minus the Fragments; they're also guardians!)#the ACTUAL youngest would be chaaya but she's a less active guardian. if you're praying to a 6yo then you're *really* down on your luck lol#iliad's about 17 in god years. so probably millions of years old in human years haha#fae's VERY energetic and drifty (maladaptive daydreaming and ADHD) plus is a little...... sadistic? not purposefully tho#fae sees everything as a play; both dissociating from trauma as a guardian and also bc mortals feel so far away from fae#so fae likes to toy with mortals and finds them fascinating. when i say sadistic i mean 'toddler meets an old cat and picks it up roughly'#fae's also besties with cody in particular. and somehow gets along with dew incredibly well???#also shea who's ANOTHER god and i should stop rambling haha. will figure out shea's design eventually (they're a shapeshifter ;-;)#anyway have a good timezoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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