theficpusher · 2 years ago
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In a Little Bit of Trouble by QuickedWeen | T | 4836 Agent Louis Tomlinson is in hot water and finds help in the most unlikely of places: the sweet waitress at her local automat.
The Hardest Hue to Hold | E | 4940 "Can someone write a 1950 smut and Louis is a greaser while Harry is rich... I think you call them Socs? Please? They fuck in a car and make it super smutty and loud."
a shepherd and a sailor by goldearring | E | 12668 Liam's life has been mundane since his family fled the Blitz for a small farm, but everything changes when a foulmouthed sailor falls out of the sky.
two wheels of a different pair (but we're still rolling into something we don't know) by zouee | G | 14136 “Does it get tiring?” Louis asks, voice coming out softer than anticipated. The response doesn’t come right away. For a moment, Louis thinks Zayn might actually be asleep; pulled under quickly despite their surroundings. Then he thinks Zayn’s making a point to ignore him and he considers leaving - the rejection making his heart sting. But in the next moment Zayn remains stone-still as he replies, mouth only moving slightly. “What does?” Louis turns his head, looks at him, “Pretending you don’t care.” _ When an out of town bikie storms into a restaurant placed on the outskirts, he doesn’t expect to meet the boy with bright eyes and devilish smile. Set in the 1950’s.
Oh Lover Man, Broken Mirror, Lonely Star by sureaintmebabe | E | 14497 Louis is sitting at the corner of the bar dividing his attention between Harry and the man sitting dejectedly on a stool right in front of him. Harry isn't a novelty. Neither is the girl with him. The man at the bar, though. That's new. And Louis... Well, Louis is tired of heartache.
the dead things we carry by MediaWhore | M | 25316 September ‘49 He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out. This is the man who saved Louis’ life. For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself. “Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight. This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real. “Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?” There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.
a perpetual sunrise by moonshinelouis | M | 31343 Louis Tomlinson lives the archetype of a successful man: he has a big white house, a gorgeous wife, and adorable daughters. Happiness is a superfluity, really. And his daughters' dimpled piano teacher is nothing more than a sinful distraction. 1950s AU.
The Case Of The (Definitely Not Haunted) Styles Mansion by BriaMaria | E | 40271 “So there’s a sense of humor buried beneath all that condescension, huh?” Louis said when he’d stopped laughing. “It’s not condescension, it’s intelligence. I understand you might not be able to recognize it yourself,” Marcel said, then slapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh god, I’m sorry.” Louis stepped closer, his eyes on Marcel’s face. “For being an asshat?” “For being rude,” Marcel said, from beneath his palm. Louis shifted a half-step closer until he was at the very edge of Marcel’s personal space. It felt like he was nudging at it, asking to be let in. Marcel flushed hot for no reason. “Lucky for you it takes quite a lot to actually insult me,” Louis said taking one step closer. Too close. Too close. Marcel met Louis’ eyes. Those blue eyes that reminded Marcel of poetry instead of science, lyrics instead of formulas. They were so pretty he wanted to drown in them. --- Or the Nancy Drew AU where Marcel is a man of logic, Louis is a private detective who believes in ghosts, and the Styles Mansion is definitely, absolutely, positively *not* haunted.
We're What's Right In This World by BriaMaria | E | 48809 “Why did you talk like that in Brighton? If you weren’t planning on ever telling me?” Louis asked. “Is it because you think you’re going to die?” “It’s war, Lou,” Harry said finally. The words were a knife slipped between his ribs. Everything hurt and he was bleeding. He shifted up, his palms cradling Harry’s jaw, his lips against his boy’s. Not kissing, just resting there, so Louis could feel him. “Promise you’ll come back to me.” Harry’s hands smoothed down the sides of Louis’ body. “You know I can’t do that. I’ll never lie to you.” “Promise me. We’re going to have our cottage. And our dogs. And our breakfast in the garden where nothing grows because of the wind from the sea. Promise me.” “I won’t.” Stubborn as always, his boy. “I’ll promise you, I’ll love you all my life. I’ll promise you, you’ll never leave my thoughts. I’ll promise you, you’re my forever and my always. But promising you something I can’t cheapens the things I can.” ---- Or the World War II AU where Harry goes off to fight and all Louis wants to do is be the boy who brings him home.
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shintin · 2 years ago
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Forget Me Not: Chapter 31 (Anchor)
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↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader
Description: Imagine that from the moment you opened your eyes into this world, you had no choice but to kill and shed the blood of others, that you had to fight alongside Toji Fushiguru and die with him
What would you do when they force you to do something you don’t like? When the torment of conscience presses on your throat, will you give up? Now think about a day that life gives you another chance; how would you use it?
This is the story of a murderer who seeks salvation. Will she find it in the arms of Satoru Gojo? Or will pain find her sooner than redemption and drive her out of heaven forever?
Genre: heavy angst, sad love story, maybe tragedy, violence, lonely hearts, broken souls, +18.
Tags/Warnings: nothing.
Song Recommendation: taylor swift - don't blame me
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Chapter index -> Next chapter
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Year: 2019
11:50 pm
The night sky was aglow with bright star lights. The pale crescent moon shone like a silvery claw in the night sky. A small bridge by the willows was a bit far from the dormitories. The river beneath the wooden path danced with the breeze as the moonlight sprinkled on the water's surface.
The shade of the trees and a woman were mirrored on the road. She seemed to be sitting here, but her mind was elsewhere. Her hair imitated the motion of tree branches. Luckily, the cloudy sky had gifted her a special kind of darkness. The night was her comfort; the blanket of generous velvet kept obscuring her sad eyes. In the absence of her lover, the warm black hugged her loneliness, and in its safety, she tried to forget the memories that had haunted her for a while now.
"No, Satoru! Are you out of your mind? Kids will see us!" Y/N put her hand on the mouth of the white-haired man hovering above her and pushed him away. But the effort wasn't futile, as his hands enveloped her waist and drew her even closer to him. Now there was no space between for the breeze to pass.
"So what? It's not like we're engaging in illicit affairs! Also, it's the weekend. Let's give them some material to jerk off!" A devilish smile appeared on his lips, and the twinkling continued with his eyes. " I bet your moans will sound like a lullaby to Yaga's rusty ears." He winked and, in return, was dazzled with a slight blow to his chest. When it came to her, Infinity was never there.
"Let me go, or I'll scream, Satoru!" She tried to escape his grasp, but his hands were too strong for her to break free easily.
"Oh, I didn't know you had an exhibitionist kink, baby." His hands slipped from her waist to her hips, and her breath jammed into her chest. Every time, his touch inflamed her body, as if it was impossible to get accustomed to his touch. "Okay, if you like it, I'll play along and will make sure to give our audience a show they won't be able to forget till the last moments of their life!" His demanding, yet benevolent eyes were enclosed on her lips. How not? She was the purest being he had ever seen, free of all repugnant human emotions.
"Hands up, Satoru!" She grabbed his hand tightly and tried to remove it from her hip, but his slender fingers squeezed her buttock even more. She pressed her lips together and breathed out furiously. "I swear, I'll kill you, Satoru!" She kept her narrowed eyes on his blue ones. His locks of hair had fallen on his forehead, and they were slowly agitating with each flow of air, weaving her resistance.
The warmth of her body and the quick pounding of her poor heart told Satoru that she was satisfied where she was trapped. After all, she'd never been a great liar. He smirked. "You want to kill me?" He looked down and took her hand with the other, raising it and pressing her fingers against his throat. His eyes didn't leave her shocked ones. If you want to kill like two years ago, do so. It's a beautiful night, and I don't mind dying with your hand." He lifted her fingers and placed a kiss on them. Cold ran from the tip of her fingers to her heart, quickly pulling her hand away. He was not joking. She clenched her fist and stuck it on her side, frowning. 'Why did he say such a thing?' It had been a long time since that happened. Did he still not trust her despite her unconditional loyalty? She barely gulped and looked away. "Has the full moon blossomed your madness, Satoru?" It was an old fable that white wolves would go crazy staring at the moon and attack their flock. She remembered hearing it from some drunk old tramp.
"I've always been madman, but your fear of a full moon and us being outside makes me think you're a werewolf or something." He seized her chin and turned it to him. Her eyes were teary, shining under the moonlight. 'Was she so upset by the thought of me dying?'
He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, but he didn't lower it and held it there, on her cheek. How lucky should a man be to feel the warmth of a woman in his embrace, which he thought had been a delusion for years? His six eyes could see the faint tremor in her lower lip as she attempted to stop it. He shut his eyes. No matter how much he loved her, sometimes he could still do despicable things to her. It was a lover's curse.
He lowered his head and pressed his forehead upon hers. "I'm sorry, grandma," his voice came out hesitantly. "And if you're a werewolf, it won't change how I feel about you."
He shifted his other hand to her waist and pushed it toward him. She didn't protest. There was no arguing. When Satoru started talking rubbish, he was doing everything he could to make her happy. So, she remained silent, and let him. "…to stop you from attacking somebody, because you know, you're going to be savage; I'll build a house with blue shutters, windows looking over the ocean for you to watch it as much as you want, and a big porch wrapped around the entire house for us to drink extra sweet strawberry smoothies and watch the sun goes down." His lips formed into a smile. Oh God, she loved him so much. "… a big secret basement with all the chains and cages, to lock you there when the moon is full, so the children and I will be safe from you tearing our throat in the sleep," he said joyfully and opened his eyes, but rather than seeing her smile, he met tears in her eyes.
A house, by the sea, a weekend, hearing the laughter of Satoru with the children in the backyard ... It was more than she could have dreamed of a year ago. Tears poured down her cheeks and drenched Satoru's hand.
" Don't worry, Wolfly. We'll play a lot in that basement. I promise." His hand wiped away tears, and his lips brushed hers. Soon he found the taste of salt on his tongue, and the wet drops ignited his flesh. He kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, as if nothing could stop him. In the end, he was the strongest. Who would dare come between them, other than himself?
The sound of the frogs grabbed her hands and pulled her out of the well of memories, as someone would subconsciously pull their hands from the fire. To her surprise, the memories brought only mild pain, not the deepest one she expected.
She shifted a little, took a deep breath, and the whines of her lungs got lost in the bustle of the water under her feet. Contrary to the memory, there was no evidence of tears in her eyes. It was not far from expected. Today was the end of the 43rd day that his cloud of tears had dried up. She had left everything on that hotel bed at the red wedding 43 days ago, her cries, her hopes, her beliefs, her love. But there were still nights when she was sleepless, and while lying on her bed in the school, she felt very lonely. At times, so much sadness and emptiness gripped her throat that she felt suffocated.
Where was her beloved anyway?
From what she had heard, he had become a Marco Polo who planned to tour the world and get rid of all the curses simultaneously.
At the end of her sixth day of fruitless waiting for a call from him, she had renounced her hopes. After the ninth day, she was convinced she was wasting her time waiting for him. After day 14, she realized she wouldn't hear from him anytime soon. He was gone. Again.
Maybe he had asked Shoko or Nanami about her. Maybe Megumi or Nobara was his secret source. Perhaps he was sorry. Maybe he was in pain as much as she was. Maybe… Who cares about the buts and ifs? When he should be, but he is not, nothing matters anymore. This may sound selfish, but it is not. It would only take Satoru a blink of an eye to be by her side, apologize, and fix what he had broken, but he chose to stay away, regardless of the reason.
Y/N sighed and leaned her head against the railings of the bridge. Her eyes fixed on the dandelions near the river as her hands slowly wrapped around her shoulders. She wasn't angry. She wasn't upset. After 43 days of wondering where she was wrong and not finding a logical conclusion, one can say that she could no longer feel anything.
They always say that if something goes wrong in a relationship, both sides are equally guilty. However, that's not always the case. Sometimes, although scarce, one side is more culpable. For example, she was a half-curse, a former murderer, and a ruthless curse-user. She couldn't change her nature or past (even though she wanted to), and Satoru knew it. Also, everybody panics when they see their hands bleeding for no reason. Not that she didn't like to share it with him, but he dropped her hand in the worst possible place and decided to give priority to those around him. She had thought a lot. She had relived that night a thousand times. Perhaps, her biggest mistake might be not waiting for her owner in a corner like a loyal dog!
Fuck!
Her head was sore, and the thought of Satoru mistreating her for not waiting for him to finally remember that he had a company made her sick to the stomach, as if professional mercenaries had opened her chest in her sleep and had torn away her heart. But by her bad luck, they forgot to sew that big scar back together after clenching it. Now she was left alone with the pain and emptiness that were once filled with love.
She shivered and clutched her cardigan. October proved to be cooler than she anticipated.
"Y/N?A familiar voice called her name with the warmth she hadn't felt for a long time, and her head subconsciously turned to the source of the sound. "Umm… Hi!" The pink-haired boy scraped his neck and looked at her shyly. After all, it was long past midnight, and if anyone was out there alone, it meant they needed solitude.
But Y/N wasn't just anyone. No matter how sad she was, she always had a hidden smile for Yuji. So she tried to pull the corners of her lips up as her eyes landed upon him, but there were only little things the facial muscles could do, and sadly, turning a lost woman into a happy one wasn't one of them.
"Yuji?" Her voice came out hoarse. Then she remembered that the last time she had talked to someone was a few days ago to get the details of her mission from Yaga, which lasted very short. Even when he told her that the last time he saw her this sad was when she was chained up in jail, waiting to be executed, she simply smiled and failed to respond. What could she possibly say? That she just woke up from the delusion that she was plunged into the same day he was talking about?
She coughed and tried to ward off all the thoughts. The eyes, however, were the soul's mirror and unveiled her hidden secrets. As said, she was never a talented liar. "How come you're awake at this hour of the night?"
"Same goes for you," Yuji said, and after doing 2×2, he finally decided to get closer and sit by her side. Sure, always far enough not to touch her. "Why are you awake?" He was always nicer than he was supposed to be. Didn't Yuji's mother tell him never to be so nice, or that he would forget to be clever? But to her knowledge, he was also raised without parents. There were moments when she thought maybe that was the reason behind how they could understand each other without needing to exchange additional words. She had no idea they were related. Satoru didn't mention anything to her.
"No particular reason." Y/N looked up at the thousands of stars, shining in the sky. Suddenly her eyes fell on the moon, and its whiteness reminded her of him. She lowered her eyes, sighed, and glanced at Yuji's face to perhaps separate herself from the memories of the past. "I couldn't sleep," she added at the last minute.
Yuji tried to figure out what Y/N was looking for in the silence. In his opinion, Y/N was able to see things that others couldn't. Human beings could easily overlook so much that was there to see.But she was only one touch away from knowing the essence of everything. Yuji wanted to lift his hand and put it on her shoulder, to say that she wasn't alone, but he couldn't. Sukuna was the last thing she needed tonight. He turned his head towards her and suddenly struck him how much weight she had lost. Dark circles were under her eyes, and her cheekbones were more prominent. He couldn't see any sign of those once bright eyes and smiley lips. What happened to her? Something for sure was gnawing her alive.
"Are you worried about tomorrow's mission?" Yuji tried to ask casually.
No response was given. There seemed to be no question asked. It was like nobody was sitting beside her. It felt like she heard nothing. It was...
But Yuji was real. He was there. The one that wasn't there was Y/N. She was wandering around her own hazy maze, haunted by the ghost of him that no longer existed.
"Y/N?"
Her ears perked up. Someone was calling her name. Maybe if she followed the voice, she could finally be saved from the labyrinth.
"Is everything alright?"
Her steps hastened, and she ran to the source of sound with all her might.
"Hey, can you hear me?"
Suddenly she came to her senses and realized that. Yuji's hand had stopped a few inches from her shoulder, and he was staring at his face with round, uneasy eyes. She began to pant as if she had run a very long distance. What was wrong with her?
"You look pale. Why don't we go to Shoko together?" Yuji's hand clenched, and got back on his knees. Not being able to touch a loved one must be one of the worst curses.
Y/N's gaze moved from his face to his fists and then back to his face again. "Don't worry, Yuji. I just got carried away." Her soulless eyes tried to convince him.
"Is it about Gojo Sensei?" After 43 days, someone finally dared to mention his name beside her. Like an unwritten contract, everyone had decided not to utter his name as if it were a curse.
Gojo. Satoru Gojo. What a familiar, yet strange name. What did it mean? Why did she never ask before? Never mind. There were other more significant questions that she had never asked. Like, when he said he would love her forever, exactly how long was it? A couple of months? Or better yet, why did he leave her on her own that night? Why didn't his six eyes see how she cried till dawn by the ocean? How did he differ from Toji?
"Ever since you returned from the wedding, you seem to miss something. We're all concerned about you, but Nanamin said to stay out of it."
Y/N thought about Kento, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now he was implicated in their problem as well. How come she never saw this possessive side of Satoru? But, wait, there was no way to miss it in his words. She had heard it thousands of times but was so blind that she didn't see the truth behind them.
"…he upset you, didn't he? Do you want us to kick his ass? Megumi is so eager to do it, you know," said Yuji with a laugh that lit his eyes.
It would make her crack if everything was normal, but that wasn't the case today. "There's nothing to worry about," she paused, swallowed, and tried to carry on more confidently. "He hadn't done anything. I threw myself into a mess, but I'm going to get out of it," she said with a weak chuckle. "Tell them not to worry. I'm just a little worn out." She leaned backward, laid her palms on the ground, and her hanging legs began to move slowly over the water.
Yuji glanced at her. If she didn't want to tell the truth, maybe it wasn't a good idea to coerce her. So he silently lay there with his hands folded under his head. "Do you think I'll be loved as you love him?"
The question made her shiver, and the coldness shrouded her fingers. She sat up straight and looked at his face for answers. "Why do you ask me such a thing?"
He turned his head to her. "No particular reason. I just don't think anyone would want to fall in love with me when I have a thousand-year curse in me and a death sentence around my neck."
"You are not going to die anytime soon. I promise you; I'll never let them hurt you." She would promise him a million times more, because Yuji was the last person who deserved to die for her. Nobody was allowed to touch her loved ones, or else there would be a bloodbath.
"I appreciate your kindness, but I have no faith."
She noticed that Yuji averted his eyes. Then it hit her. She was so overwhelmed by her own grief that she had forgotten the people around her. "Did you talk to him, Yuji?" Her voice was quiet, and it could easily get lost between the eolian sound of the wind and the dancing willow leaves.
"No, I couldn't," he replied, pulling one of his hands beneath his head and covering his eyes. He was willing to listen to Sukuna's ramblings for hours rather than say a word about it.
"Why?" She gently grabbed the cloth of his uniform and removed his hand. He wasn't crying.
Yuji sighed and hugged his knees as he got up. "Because," he paused and took a deep breath. "Because I saw how sad he was when one of his divine dogs died. I don't want to make it worse for him. I'm not sure what he's feeling either."
"Standing aside, are you expecting the truth to—?"
"No, but I'm not dumb enough to jump in the middle and ruin our friendship," he quickly retorted.
"When we die, we regret the words we didn't say more than the ones we did." She sighed deeply and folded her knees into her stomach like Yuji.
"No jujutsu sorcerer dies without regrets anyway," Yuji quoted what Yaga said to him on the first day.
"I'll tell you a secret," she said, and he turned to face him. "You're going to be the first." She smiled, and Yuji felt like he could do whatever she said. Something about her made others feel anything was possible— perks of being a half-curse.
"I will." He smiled, and the sun rose at midnight.
10:30 am
"Kamo, are you sure you aren't food poisoned?"
"I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday afternoon, Ijichi. Can you drive a little slower?" She said with her hand on her mouth. This road was driving her crazy.
"Do you want to stop somewhere to freshen up? You look pale." He worriedly glanced at Y/N from the mirror—who was taking deep breaths—and then looked back at the road again. She didn't seem fine.
"No need. I just want to get this done as soon as possible and get back." She leaned over the seat and turned her head away from the changing landscapes before her eyes, which made her dizzy. 'Fuck!' She muttered and stared at the car's ceiling.
"Do you think you can finish the mission?" He glanced at her through the mirror once more. With her in this situation, it was like a suicide mission.
"It's going to be alright," she murmured. "I don't want to throw up on the report, so can you fill me in on the mission?"
Ijichi sighed and began to speak as her hands tightened around the steering wheel. She was as stubborn as Gojo. "According to complaints from some citizens, there appears to be a series of curses at a train station outside Tokyo. The report states that most curses have been classified as grade one and two." He changed the gear, turned the steering wheel, and the car entered a dirt-road leading to an abandoned station.
"And they wanted me to take up the task?"
Something was off because any grade-one sorcerer could easily handle this assignment. But what could she do? It wasn't like she had the right to protest. They held her alive for their gain. Satoru made it pretty clear the first day, didn't he?
'The higher-ups decided death is a grace to you. You must live and serve the jujutsu community.'
Somehow, the passage of time had made the sentence more severe. There was no harsher reality for her than accepting that her sole purpose of existence was to serve these assholes as a tool, nothing more.
The car started trembling like crazy on the road, and she couldn't think anymore. Her fingernails clenched to the leather seat cover, while the taste of dust dissolved under her tongue.
"It says here that your abilities are more compatible with existing curses." He turned his head slightly and peeked into her knitted eyebrows. He was also surprised by her selection, but his job had taught him not to question the logic behind the higher-ups' decisions.
After a couple of minutes, the car stopped next to what appeared to be a train dump rather than a station. Y/N was quick to open the door and get out. She needed fresh air. She stooped, put her hands on her knees, and took a few deep breaths that caused her lungs to ache.
The air was still heavy on the small dirt-road that passed through the deserted station. The sky was covered with a layer of grey clouds, and it looked like it wanted to rain, but it didn't have enough energy to do so.
Ijichi stood behind her and looked around carefully. "I don't think we need a curtain here. I don't think we can run to a citizen here."
"Didn't you say we were dispatched here because of their complaint?"
She asked while straightening her back and fastening her hair with a band that she always had around her wrist.
"I merely stated what was in the report." His voice trembled, and it was clear that despite the months that had gone by, he was still afraid to be alone with an ex-killer.
Y/N didn't need to touch Ijichi to know that. So without further discussion, she sat down and checked the knives in her left boot, on her right thigh, around her waist, and under her sleeve and tightened their garters. When her eyes fell on the latter, the void in her chest stung her spine. It was the knife he had given her for Christmas. She slowly ran her thumb over its cold metal handle and carvings, then turned to Ijichi. "I'll probably be back within two hours. You rest here. It was a long drive," she said, straying away from him. She better kept the poor man out of trouble, because none of this sounded right.
Y/N walked among the rusted trains for about 20 minutes. She bent down and looked underneath the trains. Nothing. She went over them and looked around. Nothing. Not one sign of a curse. Was this a silly joke?
She sighed and, as she walked deeper into the abandoned station, suddenly stopped when she heard the sound of a stone moving under someone's feet other than herself, and she was lucky to be able to steal her head quickly enough to miss the curse thrown at her. Her palm on the ground, she turned her face to find a group of men and women approaching from the back. Not long after, another group came running from the other side and surrounded her.
The blood dripped slowly from her ear to her shoulder, while her shocked eyes swayed between their faces. None of them were familiar, but she couldn't tell. After all, she spilled a lot of blood. These people could be anyone coming to get their revenge. But, no! Wait! She was assigned to this mission by the higher ups. They commissioned these people. Why didn't it surprise her? Of course, they would use this golden opportunity of Satoru Gojo not being around to get rid of her. The same way they did with Yuji.
"So this is the grand plan to execute me? Sending 15 assassins? Huh! They underestimate me a lot."
She raised her hand to her ear and wiped the blood off with her thumb. She straightened up and began to talk to everybody around her.
"I don't know who you are or which one of them hired you, but I advise you to flee while you have the opportunity, so that I may spare your lives." She took the knife around her waist to cut her hand for the blood manipulation, but the following words she heard froze her on the spot.
"If I were you, I wouldn't do that, Y/N Kamo. Bleeding isn't good for you right now," the old woman said, as everyone stepped aside for her to take a step forward.
Y/N didn't speak. She looked at the old woman and, at the same time, planted her back foot firmly on the ground so she could begin the battle quickly when necessary. Her hand remained firmly on the sheath of the knife. What did the woman say?
"I can tell you have doubts. Don't you know that in battle, if you hesitate, you lose your head?" The old woman didn't move anymore and stopped several meters from her. She had no intention of provoking her. No. It wasn't part of their scheme.
"I don't slay people I don't know! Who the hell are you, and what do you want?" Y/N shouted.
"You have no patience, do you?" The old woman grinned disgustingly, and her yellow teeth came to light. Some of the group laughed. The others had bitterly cruel smiles, as if they were enjoying a very interesting joke.
"Don't worry. We won't take up much of your time. We're just here to get that." The woman's hand rose, and her forefinger pointed to Y/N's belly.
'What the fuck?'
Y/N took a step back and looked at her stomach with fear.
'No. No. No. Not now. Not like this.'
The old woman seemed to read her mind very well. "You don't know, do you?" She laughed again and resumed talking in the same absurd tone. "The head of the Gojo family won't let a half-curse bastard be his granddaughter."
'A daughter?'
Y/N's eyes widened, and her left hand rapidly shifted toward her stomach. She needed to think fast. When was her last period? 'Fuck! Think! No! Idiot!' She cursed herself. She hadn't had her period since they returned from that stupid wedding, but with everything that was going on in her life, it had simply slipped out of her mind. But all these reasons were not yet adequate. "How do you know I'm with child?"
"I am the doula of the Gojo family. I can feel the pulse of everyone with Gojo blood in their veins."
Her grip tightened around her stomach. Could everything be a lie? Why not? In her opinion, sorcerers would do anything for their benefit, but this wasn't true about doulas. She had heard of them before. They were bonded to be honest. Slowly, an epiphany crept into her brain. She felt her neck hairs stood on end, and watched her hand holding the knife trembled uncontrollably. Her mind flashed back to all the previous times she told herself a half-curse monster like her didn't deserve to be a mother, but Satoru's warm existence had given her the illusion of having a family of her own too. She couldn't deny it...not anymore. The heart of a living being was beating in her womb. This child... was the fruit of the foolish love of a curse for a sorcerer.
Suddenly there was an unknown feeling in her gut. The pulse beating in her ears blocked all other sounds around. She wasn't frightened, nor was she afraid. What she felt was beyond such mere nouns. The feeling was undefined for her, but others called it motherhood. She knew she would never let an innocent infant pay for her sins. This child was a blessing, and she wouldn't let these people, that stupid clan, or her anger at Satoru blind her happiness, but she had to put all those thoughts aside. Right now, her brain had to work just to get her out of this situation. She steadied her breath and tried to calm the panic. Part of her wanted to run, yet she knew the odds were low.
One of the things Satoru loved about her was that she never needed his protection. Y/N was always convinced that no one except herself could save her. She was enough for herself and now for her daughter.
"You better say goodbye to your baby."
Maternal instinct was one of the few things Y/N had inherited from humans. Though she hadn't yet had the chance to shed tears of joy to be happy, she was a mother to the extent that her doubts allowed her.
As a murderer, she never was afraid to pour out the blood of those who wished to harm her. But threatening her child, her bone and blood, brought out a level of insanity that she would make their nightmares sound like a happy place.
Y/N removed her hand from her stomach with a frown. She couldn't risk using blood manipulation. It could endanger her daughter. Her eyes shifted among the people before her. Ten men, five women plus the old schmuck. She drew her knife from its sheath, then picked up the second one from the garter on her thigh and twirled them in her hands. She had to go old school.
"Nobody was born to threaten me and live." She held up her hand and pointed her knife at every one of them. "I'll kill you all." Her knife swung from one to another and stood fixed upon the old woman. "But I'm going to kill you last. So whenever I send one of them to hell, you can feel how their beating heart will stop."
She took a step forward. There was no dangerous beast on earth as a mother scared for her child.
1:15 pm
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This was probably the 20th time Ijichi tried to reach Y/N but failed. It didn't seem like a good sign. He hung up, sighed, and got out of the car. He rubbed his forehead, then followed the route taken by Y/N.
He was almost sure that she was unharmed. She was the murderer everyone had been after for eleven years, and nobody could catch her until she surrendered last year. But also, he had seen many lifeless bodies that he thought never to see. And somehow, he didn't want to find hers. He was indeed frightened of her, but deep down, he knew she had never had another choice, and now that she had found some other way, she sought her redemption, and the higher ups took full advantage of it.
Halfway through, there was no sign of a curse or combat until Ijichi's eyes came upon a man leaning against one of the trains with his hands covering his stomach. He ran to the man and nearly puked when he saw the scene before him. He took a few steps back to distance himself from the corpse that had been torn open.
Ijichi's surprise grew when he finally looked at the man's kimono. It belonged to the Hei members of the Gojo family. 'Why should one of them be here?' He thought to himself, and before the answer could fully occur, he turned and started running to find Y/N. He was very aware of how evil the three main clans could be. Even though Y/N had the name Kamo, they never accepted her due to her being half-curse, and now that Satoru Gojo was gone, the best opportunity to hunt her had been prepared. He hit his forehead with his palm. How did he not think of this in the morning?
His footsteps slowed down only when his eyes fell on the bloody ground and the carnage in front of him. If he could erase a memory from his mind, it would be seeing dead bodies lying around like broken dolls. The smell of blood was everywhere. He held his nose and strolled through the corpses. He was so confused, but fear hadn't filled his being yet. Suddenly, he saw Y/N's motionless body, eyes closed, lying on the ground. He hurried and sat beside her. Her blouse was torn in parts and was the messenger of a brutal battle. The flesh wounds still oozed blood, and the entire right side of her body wore a purple-yellow smear of bruises.
It was then that Ijichi got into an unending conflict with himself. He heard everyone saying never to touch her. But he needed to do something. He looked at her still chest. Was she breathing? There was no time to waste. He put his hand on her neck to feel her pulse, and suddenly the pain exploded in Y/N's head as relief began to move through his veins. He hadn't felt this relieved in years.
She coughed several times, and her hands desperately grabbed the stones and dirt on the ground, struggling to get a bit of air in her lungs. Ignoring the pain in her thigh, the blood seeping from the cut on her left arm, she tried to grasp Ijichi's shirt. Tears flowed from her eyes, and nothing could be seen in them but begging for life. Not for herself, but for her daughter... She couldn't let her down… Not now.
Ijichi had already seen those eyes the day she begged at the school gates just to see the boy she didn't even know. She'd never implored for her own sake. It was always about others' lives.
His white shirt was stained with blood. He had to do something. He had to do something. He had to do something. He couldn't let her die in his hands. He had to do something. His hands reached behind her waist to lift her, and suddenly another wave of pain penetrated her chest, and the air, like a sharp knife, finally found its way into her lungs.
The sound of her loud subs clenched Ijichi's heart as she gasped for air. She cried as if something in her had broken and all her emotions had poured out. Her injured hand didn't leave his collar, as if she would run out of breath if she dared to distance herself from him. Ijichi watched in shock how her other hand wrapped tightly around her stomach, clutching the torn cloth of her blouse. She stroked her belly, mumbling things only she could hear. After 43 days of living in hell, she finally felt she had a beating heart. "Don't tell Satoru," she whispered before the world dimmed before her eyes and darkened.
Somewhere halfway around the world, Satoru's heart ached in the middle of a battle with a curse, and his knees hit the ground. His hands on the ground, his breath caught in his chest. All these 43 days of hiding from shame, he could feel the pain he had caused her, but this one was different. It was as though he was limping until then, but now someone had cut off his legs. He couldn't endure it anymore. It wasn't fair to punish her along with himself. He missed her. He missed her every second, every minute, every hour of every single day. He had to end this suffering. For both of them.
He got up with heavy breathing, and the last thing the curse saw was a tear in the corner of the strongest's eyes.
6:15 pm
When Y/N's eyes opened, instead of the disturbing light of the clinic, her gaze fell on the drapes of her room at school. Her head hurt too much. Her body hurt too much. It seemed that everything hurt too much. She slowly turned her head to the other side, and an odd soreness shook her whole spine. Wretched scratches covered the back of her arm, and every time she breathed, the left side of her chest ached.
After she focused, her field of vision was no longer blurry. A woman in a white dress was sitting on a chair next to her and turning the pages of a manga series Satoru had given her to read. She moved a little to adjust her position in the bed and felt a pain seared across her stomach.
Did her stomach hurt? Suddenly, the fear spread on her face, and her hand slipped on her belly as if she could feel her heart beating.
"The child is fine. Don't worry." Shoko placed the manga on the desk before her bed, crossing one leg on the other and looking at the sad smile on Y/N's lips, staring at her stomach over the blanket and was speechless.
As Shoko looked at her, she realized that compared to the past few hours, Y/N didn't look sick anymore, but her face was lethargic and pale, like a plant that hadn't been planted in the right soil and was withering because it had been deprived of a vital element.
Ignoring the many scars Y/N's had before, Shoko's gaze was directed at her hands, which until an hour ago, there were so many mortal wounds on them, but now they were almost gone, and only a couple of scratches were left. She was certain that the recovery rate of her wounds had slowed down significantly, so she had to keep her in the clinic for two days to treat minor injuries, but now the wounds described by Ijichi had healed relatively quickly; they didn't even need to hospitalize her. She tried to think of what had changed in her life since the last time she got injured. Well, they had gone to a boring wedding, her stupid friend had left his girlfriend knocked up, and here they were. Although she had guesses, she didn't point out her doubts.
"Congratulations," said Shoko and bent over to have a cigarette, but she stopped in the middle. She sighed and held her hand back. Maybe this child was a good opportunity for her to quit her old habit. "You look so gloomy for a new mother. Cheer up!"
Y/N opened and closed her mouth several times, but was unable to come up with the right words. Her throat was dry, and on the other hand, what did she want to say? That her child was probably the fruit of the night when her lover left her crying on the bed, pulled up his pants, and ran away?
She picked up the glass of water from the nightstand and then turned her head to watch the sunset from the window.
The silence was so sudden and profound that Shoko got up from the chair, walked around, and sat next to her on the bed, blocking her outside view. There were things she needed to ask as her doctor and friend. "If you don't want the child, we can—"
"I want her," Y/N said quickly. It was the one thing she knew for sure now.
Shoko smiled and leaned back. She was happy for her. "It's a girl, huh? That doula witch said that?"
Y/N's eyes swiftly turned to her face. "How... How do you? Satoru… Ijichi? Did you tell him?" Suddenly, there was no trace of the calm Y/N. She tried to get up in a panic, but the pain didn't allow her, and she sat down with a muffled groan between her clenched teeth.
A few inches away from Y/N, the sound of broken glass filled the room. Shoko glanced at the pieces of the water glass on the floor and turned her face to her with indifference. "Ease up, tiger! Satoru knows nothing. Ijichi told me about what happened." She tilted her head to a side. "Why don't you want Satoru to find out? Don't tell me you're trying to stop his conflicts with his clan!" She crossed her arms and stared at her with narrowed eyes. After the last disaster the Gojo family had brought to her, Shoko would doubt her sanity if she tried to defend them.
Y/N bit her lip and tightly held the blanket's corner in her hand. She remembered how those two men dragged her out of the club to that narrow alley, and if Satoru and Kento hadn't arrived, God knows from which dumpster her pieces were supposed to be found. She covered her face with her hand and tried not to think of what had happened to her up to now. "No, I don't give a fuck about his clan. Not anymore," she stated in a quiet voice.
'Her brain still works.' Shoko relieved. "Then what?"
Y/N was well acquainted with this behavior of Shoko. She liked to quietly trap people on the edge of the abyss and extract the truth from them. For whatever reason, especially today, sorcerers were on her nerves. "I don't want your dear friend to know about the baby." Y/N snapped, but her anger subsided sooner than she thought, and she lowered her head in shame. Shoko had never done anything wrong to her.
To her surprise, Shoko started laughing, but for a second, she saw the sadness hidden behind her eyes. She saw the backbreaking and bloody pain that Y/N was feeling. Just like a deep wound that was impossible to heal. What had Satoru done to her? "How do you plan to hide your big belly in a few months? Satoru is an idiot, but he has six fucking eyes to ultrasound the baby!" She rested her chin on her palm and tapped her finger on her cheek.
"What punishment can I expect?" Her voice was between a murmur and silence, to the point that Shoko had to lean over to distinguish the words.
"Nothing, I think. Trying to kill an heir's child is a big crime. They'll cover it up, but this doesn't mean they'll let it go. What do you want to do when they attack again? Do you want to keep killing people with a baby inside you?" Shoko probably thought that the shock after the incident had prompted her to make such decisions. Because the Y/N she knew was at least more rational than this miss-crazy-pregnant-lady.
"I know." Y/N shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of the dark thoughts. "Which is why I want to leave before he returns." She sighed. " If I go, they won't look for me, no one will seek revenge or payback, and my child will be safe from harm." She was trying to make up her mind. Her voice was sad and tired, and there was no sign of confidence in it. She was fearless till yesterday, but now she had something she didn't want to lose. She couldn't take a risk like today again.
The words of Y/N made sense, but Shoko couldn't accept them. Perhaps because she was not as neutral as she thought and Satoru's interest was more important to her. It must be it, otherwise, the day he spoke to her about his decisions on the beach, she would also have made him see the other side of the coin, but she couldn't do it. Maybe it was because she had never seen him this happy in years. Who was she to steal the happiness from him with her big wise words? "If you run, he will follow you to the end of the world."
"He couldn't find me for 11 years. I hope he can't find me later either." No one knew, except for her, if these were indeed her sincere words or if she wanted to be found by him more than anyone. After all, his arms were the first place she had ever felt at home.
"For the love of God, Y/N, she is his daughter too. You can't raise a kid without a father when she already has a father!" Even though she was calm, she got up and went to the window. Having these conversations and not smoking was more difficult than expected.
"I know, Shoko. I know." She didn't want to argue with Shoko. As a matter of fact, she didn't want to argue with anyone. She just wanted to be peaceful for a while. However, peace was the only word that wasn't written on her forehead.
"I'm not his lawyer to defend his shits. I only know that he loves you a lot and will be the best father for your child."
When Y/N heard this, a lump in her throat made it difficult for her to swallow. She didn't steal her glance. She shrewdly didn't turn her eyes away and didn't try to pretend that she didn't hear anything. But while she was holding on to her blanket, the joy of saving her daughter vanished from her face in a second, leaving only the emptiness and pain in her eyes. For a moment, intense grief washed over her face, and then fatigue took place. She sighed and tried to hold back her frustration. People say sadness is bad for a baby. She needed to do better.
Shoko could see the weariness lines in the corner of her eyes. She hadn't done anything to deserve this. She came back to her bedside, sat on the floor, and took her hand upon the blanket. It seemed silly from afar, but she was sure it meant a lot to her. "Y/N, he has lost a lot, and you're the only anchor keeping him sane. It's not my business to say these things, but he's not here now and is unaware of everything. I respect your decision not to have him around for now. But you have to think more about your decision."
She wished she had a friend like Shoko to support her like this too. So 13 years of friendship turn people into a family. If Shoko wanted her to reconsider her decision, she should have given him guarantees she could rely on. "What if he doesn't want the baby or me?"
Shoko was sure that Satoru would never let go of her or the baby. "Then I'll help you escape."
Y/N smiled, and for a moment, her face showed how young she really was. Despite her hardships, her face didn't look older than the dark-haired woman before her. "Promise?"
"I promise."
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petri808 · 3 years ago
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Prompt- Marking/Monster fucker @bkdkkinktober Day 5
Izuku woke up with a start, hand clutching over the heart racing frantically in his chest to the darkness of a witch’s hour. The sheen of sweat coating his body glistened in the moonlight flowing over his bed, and his breathing raggedly trying to find normalcy in the pungent scent of sex still lingering in the air. But how if this was just a dream? A dream perhaps, yet the strongest since they’d started two weeks ago. The sticky dampness between his thighs indicating anything but fiction.
A slight breeze through the window sent shivers along Izuku’s body still sensitive to the touch… the touch— his touch… The red eyes and blonde shadow emblazoned behind his eyelids. Who was he? This thing, this person haunting his dreams and sending his body into realms of ecstasy night after night to leave him wanting and drained the next morning. He couldn’t wait to get back to bed after a long day of work, ready for more like a drug addict jonesing for their next hit.
“I want more…” Izuku whimpered into the silent room. Of strong hands dominating his toned frame, sharp nails… or were they claws? Regardless, the way they dug into his skin and controlled his hips forcing him to behave… Izuku reached into his boxers and began stroking his cock through this trip down memory lane. “Yes…” he whined, “more, I want more…” of heated bodies entwined, feeling so safe below that scarlet gaze, yet frozen by their stare— and the bites… he remembered the canines that sent his heart stuttering. Izuku paused mid-stroke to reach up to his nape. Yes, the tenderness was there again, but skin still unbroken.
To experience being filled and fucked by this gorgeous dream man. Damn, he’d do anything to make this real! Take him, mark him, a willing slave if it meant nights of endless bliss! “Please—” Izuku groaned. “Be real…”
Each night that passed by left Izuku craving more, and body left spent and tired the next morning. He didn’t know how dreams could cause so much exhaustion, but the intensity was definitely increasing. The logical part of his brain knew damn well this wasn’t good for him, too bad his lonely heart was winning the fight.
“Y-Yeah, I’m heading out right now sir— literally running out the door as we speak… Yes, Mr. Aizawa, I know it’s the second time this week I’ve been late, I… I need to get a new alarm, I think mines broken— oh… of course, sir, I’ll grab that on my way to the office for you.”
As he rushed out of his apartment, Izuku clicked off the phone, repeating his bosses order. “Double macchiato, add cinnamon, double macchiato add cinnamon, don’t forget— OOF!” The phone went flying out of Izuku’s hand as he smacked right into a solid object and bounced back, falling on his ass. “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorr—” Izuku gasped.
“Tch. What a way to welcome your new neighbor.” The stranger held out a hand to help Izuku up. “Just be more careful next time.”
“R-Right,” Izuku stammered, “sorry, mister?”
“Katsuki Bakugou.”
“Mr. Bakugou, thank you— I-I mean sorry, again!” Izuku bowed before rushing away.
Blonde hair, red eyes… It couldn’t be! This was the first time he’d met his obviously solid flesh neighbor, so there was no way he could’ve dreamt up the beefcake! “Couldn’t be,” Izuku mumbled to himself. The man was very new, moved in maybe a week ago… ‘right around the time the dreams started escalating…’ He shook his head. Ridiculous. Those were dreams and this man was real— they couldn’t be linked. By the time he got to work, Izuku put the whole event out of his mind and focused on his job before he lost it.
A guy that hot was out of his league, so why not just live in his dreamworld?
“Ka…cchan…” The name wisps out from Izuku’s lips as clawed hands guided the sharp rocking of his hips, ground firmly over the man’s cock. “I can’t—” Izuku whined, legs trembling and starting to give out. “Please…” It was the first time of any of the dreams that the mystery lover had him doing the work.
But in the blink of an eye, Izuku found himself on his back once more, his lovers low grunts to his moans echoing as he was filled over and over in rapid succession. The man’s face stayed buried in the crook of his neck— till a cry rang out, Izuku’s own from fangs sunk deeply into his skin. Familiar, delicious white-hot ache flowing through his system, sending stars flashing beneath his eyelids, and red glowing eyes burning in his mind, filling his soul with a sense of wholeness his life was lacking.
“Mine…” the male growled, “forever…”
Forever…
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
“Ahhhh!” Izuku shot up in bed, drenched in the familiar sheen of sweat to the sound of a blaring alarm. “Fuck!” He groaned and dropped back down. Stupid alarm! But as amazing as these dreams were, they were seriously starting to drive him insane. His days were turning into endless cycles of unfulfilling work and fornication, work, and fornication— with a physical emptiness left in its wake.
As routine, he touched the painful spot on his neck expecting the same thing he’d endured for weeks— but this time, something wet and tacky hit his fingertips. “What the?”
Izuku scrambled to his bathroom, and there in the mirror— two fresh puncture wounds… a gasp broke free. “Oh, my god—”
That was the first time the dream blonde spoke to him. It’s deep raspy voice sending shivers through his body just thinking about it. But it was so embarrassing to walk into work with a large bandage on his neck to hide the wound! Lots of snickering and questions of who the lucky guy or girl must have been to mark him with a hickey. If only it had just been a hickey! All the other nights left the area tender for just a few minutes, and no evidence, but today the damn thing still throbbed. This was all becoming way too real for Izuku— and frankly, scared him a little. ‘Forever…’ The thought had even crossed his mind that someone was simply breaking in every night, but there was never any proof.
So, as he crawled into bed that Friday night, the throbbing spot on his neck a reminder, Izuku set his alarm to go off at 3am. If there was any truth to this nightly visitor, he was bound to catch him if could break free from the dream. This was it! He had to know what the hell was going on!
Izuku twisted in his bed, whimpering under the lustful gaze of his dream lover. “No, please…” he shivered as the long tongue teasingly flicked the tip of his over sensitized cock. His body was still coming down from a high that had left a sticky mess plastered all over his torso.
“Say it,” the husky voice demanded.
“Forever…” Izuku breathed out.
With a grunt, red eyes flashed, centered, and drove its cock all the way into Izuku. Growling, “forever mine,” as he leaned over to suckle the man’s mark with licks and tortured kisses. Each touch ignited the same soul-stealing connection that kept Izuku trapped and begging for more. Powerful hips rocked in measured cadence, filling the man over and over to finish what it’d started.
Izuku’s back arched and legs clamped around his lover’s waist, nails digging into the man’s shoulders as heat swirled and a familiar smoky scent grew in the room. He sensed his lover’s climax, could feel it coming like a sensor knowing a storm approached. Their connection… it felt so real… so good— different this time. Peaceful, no pain… “forever…” Izuku mewled as darkness overtook him.
The distant sounds of morning slowly crept into Izuku’s consciousness. Soft bird chirping, the muffled roar of cars on a nearby street. He moved to bury his face in his pillow to block the sunlight, shifting his body from its side to his stomach— only he couldn’t. Izuku’s eyes pop open as the awareness hit. He wasn’t alone. Without moving his head, his eyes looked down at what was around his waist and saw arms, hands— someone’s hands?! Wait! His alarm hadn’t gone off either!
He forced himself to shift so he could see who was spooned up behind him and found blonde hair. The neighbor?! Izuku screamed at the sleeping male. “What are you doing here?! How’d you get into my apartment?!”
“If you’re gonna wake up your mate, a good morning would’ve been nice.” Katsuki mumbled against Izuku’s back. “After all I’ve done for you.”
“Y-You? I, w-wait, the dreams, h-how?!”
“Shhh,” Katsuki clamped a hand over Izuku’s mouth. “Go back to sleep, talk when I’m up.”
“Maft?!” Izuku mumbled back.
“Forever, remember? I need more sleep, now shush.”
“I wilf nats sh— ahhh—”
A blinding white light hit Izuku’s mind again, followed with a dull ache in his neck as Katsuki’s mouth clamped over the mate mark on his neck. “Oh, my kami—”
“Now do you believe me?”
Izuku looked over again at Katsuki’s face and noticed the man’s eyes were glowing red and fang tips glinted from his mouth. “F-Forever?”
“Forever.”
It was all real, and yet somehow… maybe this wasn’t so bad after all...
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eideticmemory · 4 years ago
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the day | matthew gray gubler
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In which Matthew is a pisces and you’re a writer.
Word Count: 1.6k.
Warning: Tooth-rotting fluff that I cannot believe I actually wrote. Featuring ‘Lover, you should’ve come over’ by Jeff Buckley, if you wanted to listen while reading.
Matthew never wears his airpods.
They sit there, charging on his desk, all day long, all week long. He doesn’t wear his airpods. You know that, it is a fact. They’re trinkets, decoration, a little bit of a flex, but, Matthew never wears his airpods.
So, the question is: Why the hell has he had them in all week? Every hour, of every day — those little, white airpods hung from his ears like an aura of isolation.
It must be revenge, you thought. It must be his way of coping with the ridiculous amount of time you spend in his office. Alone, putting pen to paper. Initially, he’d peek his head in every once in a while, after you’d been of a bit of a writer’s bender, just to remind you that he loved you. That he was proud of you.
Yet, when it’s your wedding vows sitting on the desk, waiting to be written — when you need him to come in, give you that sweet smile and tell you how much he adores you . . . he’s wearing his airpods.
Matthew never wears his airpods. Your fiancé nevers wears his airpods. And for such a small thing, it’s starting to freak you out. Because one week before your wedding is not the time to do this. Not the time for distance, and insecurity. Not the time for Matthew to be walking around the house, constantly, wearing those fucking airpods.
He coasted his way past the office doors, your eyes following his figure like a light. You trained in on his ears, the white specks clear and visible as he walked right by you. Once he was out of your sight, you released a frustrated huff and set your pen down atop your note pad, put your face in your hands.
You sighed, spoke in a sad and quiet voice, “Matthew Gray . . . what the hell are you doing?”
You didn’t see him at all the day before your wedding. He facetimed you that night to say goodnight, that he loved you, and he would see you Saturday. His voice was so soft, so genuine, so full of love. And all you could focus on was the airpods hanging from his ears.
“I’m ready to marry you, Matthew Gray,” you said. “Are you ready to marry me?”
His face transitioned to a gentle, ever so slightly confused, expression, and he replied, “Believe me . . . I’ve ever been more ready for anything in my life.”
You smiled, “Then I will see you at altar.”
He grinned, “See you at the altar.”
You had stars in your hair. Little clips in the side of your head that made your eyes sparkle. As you were dressed and assisted throughout the big day, you held a crumbled, jumbled, scratched up piece of paper in your hand. It wasn’t perfect, hell, you weren’t even sure it was good. But it was honest, and it was loving, and it took you months to write. Your biggest project yet, if you must say so yourself.
At last call, you were alone, staring at the words as if you didn’t already know each one by heart.
“[y/n],” your friend called. “You ready?”
And, not for the first time, you crumbled the paper up between your fists. Crushed it, smushed it. Threw it to the ground, looked yourself up and down in the mirror. Glitzy, glammy, gorgeous. Dressed in ivory — not white, wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.
You exhaled, whispered, “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”
Your hands shook. From the start to the finish of the aisle. You sought comfort in Matthew, never taking your eyes off him. But damn, if he doesn’t look so good that it’s nerve racking. He held your small hands in his palm, told you that you looked beautiful, with tears threatening to roll down his face, already.
He’d insisted not too long ago that you be the first to read your vows. Just the thought made you tremble, anxious at the vulnerability, and the hundreds of eyes and ear waiting to hear what you’ve got. Matthew noticed this, and put his hands on around your forearms.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Hey . . . just talk to me.”
You did. You held his eyes on yours, you recited your poetry, you silenced the entire building. Only pausing to inhale shaky breaths, and to wipe the tears from his face.
“And I love you,” you choked on your words. “And I thank you, so much, for showing me what true love is, Matthew Gray. Thank you for being . . . the absolute love of my life.”
Matthew could only reply would a somber laugh, wiping away the excess tears from his face. “Whew . . .” he breathed out. “Wow . . . how the hell am I supposed to follow that?”
The space erupted in soft laughter.
Your own laughter included.
The two of you were formally introduced as Mister and Misses Gubler, surrounded by a wave of applause within the reception hall. Matthew raised your bound hands into the air, proud, joyful. He had you, he finally fucking had you. Until death do you part.
He left you centered in the middle of the dance floor, illuminated by the soft light, as he made his way upon the stage, located right in front of you.
“Hi, everyone,” he waved. “I’m Matthew Gubler, I’m [y/n]’s husband —“
You laughed along with everyone else, who hooted and hollered at his declaration.
“Thank you, thank you . . .” he smiled. “Thank you all for being here, for supporting [y/n] and I, it means so much.”
You tilted your head at him, his focus finally being directed at you once again. “[y/n] . . . my love . . . I’ve waited forever for this day. Forever. And if you will do me the honors, I’d like nothing more than to dance with you . . . to have our first dance as husband and wife to — to a song that I first heard when I was fifteen. To a song that . . . I’ve been listening to ever since we first met three years ago, a song that . . . has been on repeat in my head in preparation for this moment, right here, right now.”
As you held your hand out for him, gentle guitar flowed from the speaker, though it wasn’t any riff that you recognized. Matthew joined you in the center of the dance floor, pulling you close as you whispered, “Matthew Gray . . . what are you up to?”
“I’m dancing with you . . .” he smiled, setting his hands tightly on your waist, your arms draped over his shoulders. “I’m serenading you.”
Looking out the door,
I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners.
“Parading in a wake of sad relations, as their shoes fill up with water,” Matthew sang, gently.
“Oh, he’s singer, too,” you giggled.
He chuckled, “Shut up — Maybe I'm too young, to keep good love from going wrong. But tonight, you're on my mind so, you'll never know . . .”
Broken down and hungry for your love,
With no way to feed it
Where are you tonight?
Child, you know how much I need it.
“Too young to hold on, and too old to just break free and run,” setting your head on his shoulder, you let him sing in your ear. “Sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun , much too blind to see the damage he's done. Oh, sometimes a man must awake to find that, really, he has no one.”
So I'll wait for you, and I'll burn,
Will I ever see your sweet return,
Or, will I ever learn?
Lover, you should've come over,
'Cause it's not too late.
Matthew’s grip tightened around your waist, his long arms engulfing you in an effort to get closer to you, closer than humanly possible.
Lonely is the room the bed is made,
The open window lets the rain in,
Burning in the corner is the only one,
“Who dreams he had you with him . . .” slowly, your husband, your husband, looked in your eyes, “My body turns, and yearns for a sleep, that won't ever come.”
“It's never over,” he sang to you. “My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder . . .” following the words with a small kiss to the top of your shoulder. As if in immediate response to the words, and the physical touch, tears began to pour down your face.
“It's never over, all my riches for her smiles,
when I slept so soft against her.”
“It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter.”
“It's never over,” and these lyrics, he sang with your face in his hands and his lips touching to your forehead. “She’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever.”
You sobbed, pulled him closed, nuzzled your face into his neck, held on for dear life to the back of his head.
But maybe I'm just too young,
To keep good love from going wrong.
Oh lover, you should've come over.
I feel too young to hold on,
I'm much too old to break free and run.
Too deaf, dumb, and blind,
To see the damage I've done.
Sweet lover, you should've come over.
“Oh, lover, I've waited for you,” when he said this, it wasn’t a melody. It was spoken, softly, soulfully.
“Lover, lover, lover, lover, love, love, love, lover, you should've come over . . . ‘cause it's not too late . . .”
Every word.
No stumbles, no stutters, no faltering.
Matthew never wears his airpods.
But when he does, it’s for a good reason.
516 notes · View notes
badb1tchbokuto · 4 years ago
Text
Alone, Together
Miya Atsumu x F! Reader
“Lame.” Typical.
“Self-righteous prick,” Okay that one hurt a little, but fine.
“Your game is weak.” Atsumu would like to think it wasn’t. It was just that he’d never really had to try. Whereas he focused all his efforts and love on the game of volleyball, he never really put in much effort on the dating game. Casual flings, short term relationships, one night stands - he was no stranger to all of this. He was attractive, successful, and had a steady career that allowed him to afford VIP tables in pretentious places like this. Who in their right mind wouldn’t be into that?
You apparently.
...In which Atsumu experiences his first existential crisis after you reject him at a club.
wc: 6k
tw: alcohol consumption, swearing, mild smut, slight angst, lots of fluff
(crossposted on Ao3)
Thursday, 10:00pm JST
Tokyo is alight and alive. The autumn sun is steadily dimming against a sea of ultramodern buildings and bright billboards that are beginning to light the city in incandescent neons. Crowds are meandering through the busy capital, with tourists slowly walking and stopping at every turn to take photos and gaze at their seemingly surreal surroundings, friends chatting vividly as they make their way to dinner, and employees ambling towards the crowded subway stations to line up and finally make their way home or just find some respite.
You, somehow, are a combination of all three.
Twenty four hours ago, you landed in Haneda from Charles de Gaulle. Jet lagged and bleary eyed, you stuttered your way through customs in your broken but passable Japanese, lost a suitcase that had most of your professional attire needed for the next day’s back to back meetings with investors, then had to be comforted by your driver as you explained the situation in distress all the way to your hotel in the business district of Minato.
You couldn’t help but feel unsettled and overwhelmed as it was after all, your first trip to Japan for professional matters. All your other times in the country had been spent with family, past lovers or on study abroad trips with best friends, but this time it was just you.
Adult you, in your first big girl work trip, in your dream field of fashion, in your dream city of Tokyo.
-
It has almost been twenty fours since you landed in the capital, and you’ve miraculously survived your first day. Barely. Admittedly you slept in a little too late after downing the entire complimentary bottle of Daiginjo from the hotel by yourself the night before, and this morning you spent over thirty minutes trying to transform your jet lagged mug with a “no make up make up” look only to end up still being asked by the sweet door people if you were heading to a special party. The upside is that the sake made you sleep like a baby, and smartly you paired your unexpectedly dramatic make-up with a killer outfit, resulting in you being recharged and sharp throughout the day, impressing your boss and potential investors alike.
Friday, 8:30pm JST
You had just emerged from your hotel to freshen up after a long day of work, now heading to dinner in Shibuya to meet with friends you’ve studied abroad with who were now living in Tokyo. Clad in a slinky Jacquemus silk dress and your favorite stilettos, you stand outside the grand entrance of the Tokyu Plaza, sending your girls a quick text to note that you got there a little earlier than expected, informing them that you’d be waiting at the restaurant’s rooftop bar instead.
The restaurant your friends chose was on the 17th floor of the building, a French fusion restaurant that turns into a nightclub after midnight and promises to have the best rooftop views of the Tokyo skyline. It seemed especially busy tonight, as there was already a line of young men and women eager to wait just to get into the club despite the area not opening hours from now.
Overhearing hushed snippets of conversations around you, it sounded like some celebrities were going to be there tonight. You brush it off, looking forward to having a moment to yourself to sip on an espresso martini, maybe even a few truffle sliders while waiting on your friends to arrive.
Busy thinking about whether you have time to eat one or three of the sliders before dinner, you absentmindedly made your way to the host at the front of the already buzzing line.
Halfway there, you feel a gentle but firm tap on your shoulder.
You turn, only to face a very toned and very broad chest dripping in two thin yellow gold snake chains layered over a printed silk button down, a piece from Gucci’s latest season. “Impressive.. ” you think to yourself as you lift your gaze as slowly and as nonchalantly as you can to see the man’s face, even though your eyes are probably already dilating in anticipation, because if the chest was already impressive and you were already having sinful thoughts about dragging your tongue on his chiseled pecs then moving down, well then...
“Yes?” You reply softly as your eyes roam upwards, starting with his strong jawline, to his warm, sugary brown gaze, up to his soft tousled blonde hair, and back down to his full lips, his canines and pink tongue slightly peeking out, adorned in a confident smirk that both turned you on and pissed you off.
“Fuck. I’d definitely let you ruin my life..or my pussy.” You couldn’t help but immediately think to yourself.
Without introducing himself, he slowly licks his lips, then cooly offers. “You headin’ up to Ce La Vi? My friends and I have a VIP table up there so you won’t have to wait until midnight to be let in. You can skip the line with me.”
“No thanks.” You curtly decline, irritated and offended that he assumed you needed his help to skip the line, let alone afford to enter the establishment for dinner.
You swerve past him, thinking that he’s another sleazy club promoter. Very attractive yes, but you’d like to think you were past making those types of mistakes at this age. Sexy guy leveraging his social status so that he can two pump chump you then ghost you until he needs pretty girls to fill up his club table? Hard pass.
Atsumu on the other hand, is confused.
That simple line never fails; it’s not aggressive but is still quite direct, and it wasn’t creepy. At least he didn’t think so. If anything, he thought he sounded nonchalant and cool.. Almost like Suna...right? Although he’d never let Suna know that he tries to emulate him when trying to pick up girls. Or that he thinks Suna is “nonchalant and cool.” God forbid he gets roasted on the group chat for yet another reason. Also, isn’t it always a great opportunity to skip the line at some overhyped dining club and get wined and dined by a handsome athlete like him? He’s never really had a problem using that line before, in fact his body count was proof of its success rate, so why did it not work on you?
You definitely seemed like you would be impressed by status and flash, considering you literally made his head turn because of your confident strides, wafting a luxuriously sexy scent. A melange of rose, vanilla, maybe the homemade marshmallows Samu makes in the winter... And definitely a tinge of the special perfume he was gifted by the Tom Ford team that he only reserves for special occasions. Something with tobacco and oud. Plus, he also definitely remembers shelling out 300,000¥ to buy the same Dior purse you had on for his ex-girlfriend last Christmas.
You saunter ahead of him, completely ignoring the screams and flash that followed. “Ah..So the celebrity has arrived.” You think to yourself. “They’ll probably be escorted to some special entrance anyway.”  
The doorman checks your name on the tablet and leads you to wait in front of an elevator. As you scroll through your phone, waiting for the elevators to take you up to the restaurant, you see him awkwardly standing behind you, rapidly typing away on his phone, very obviously trying to avoid your gaze.
Unlucky for both of you, you two were the only ones cleared by the front desk to go on the elevator.
The ride up to the 17th floor felt like an eternity, a palpable awkward silence marred by elevator music eerily like the Wii theme song dragged the seconds on.
Atsumu couldn’t wait to get out of the cramped space. He wanted so desperately to rush out and find Bokuto, Hinata, or honestly, he’d even practice his abysmal English with Adriah at this point just to get the hell away from you.
It wasn’t that Atsumu found you repulsive, quite the contrary actually. He found you so goddamned sexy, poised with a distinct self-assured stance that he only knew his former high school volleyball captain to have. You were magnetic, like an invisible force just happened to transfix Atsumu’s attention to you when he saw you standing at the plaza, leading him to follow you to the restaurant, thanking his lucky stars that he was also heading the same way since he most definitely kind of looked creepy staring at a lone woman in the middle of the street like that. 
The fact that you were immediately repelled by his kind suggestion to skip the line with him boggled him. Feeling claustrophobic in a roomy elevator decorated in mirrors that showed your reflection from all angles, he tries even more desperately to avoid looking at you, so he resorts to giving a play by play to his brother over text, only to get obliterated by Osamu.
“Lame.” Typical.
“Self-righteous prick,” Okay that one hurt a little, but fine.
“Your game is weak.” He’d like to think it wasn’t. It was just that he’d never really had to try. Whereas Atsumu focused all his efforts and love on the game of volleyball, he never really put in much effort on the dating game. Casual flings, short term relationships, one night stands - he was no stranger to all of this. He was attractive, successful, and had a steady career that allowed him to afford VIP tables in pretentious places like this. Who in their right mind wouldn’t be into that?
You apparently.
“Oh well, your loss.” He tries to reason with himself.
As soon as the doors open, Atsumu lets you pass like the gentleman he was raised to be. Okay, maybe he checks you out one last time, because damn that ass... and maybe he also tries to catch a whiff of your intoxicating perfume…  but no one had to know that.
He walks away to find his teammates inside the VIP dining area, wanting to just forget about you and move on with his night. You on the other hand, leisurely make your way to the open rooftop bar.
Shortly after, your friends Yuki and Kaori arrive, apologizing for their tardiness and promising a good time as they insist on going out clubbing with some of their friends from high school.
You hadn’t seen the sexy arrogant promoter or his “VIP” group throughout dinner. You forget about him or at least try to, happy to finally munch away on the anticipated dinner, reminisce about your wild college days and catch up with old friends.
Friday, 11:30pm JST
A couple of hours later, inhibitions loose from the free flow of alcohol offered at the restaurant mixed in with a bottle of champagne to celebrate your reunion, the three of you egg each other on to take shots at the bar before checking out the now bustling dance floor, surrounded by the VIP booths inside. Not a minute more after walking indoors do you hear a loud energetic voice holler, “YUKIPPE?!”
“Bokuto-san!!!” Yuki excitedly calls out, dragging you and Kaori over to greet a boisterous, incredibly buff man with two toned spiky hair. Behind him sitting on the plush rounded couches is a small group of young men who are all just as attractive and well-dressed, with an orange haired male capturing most of their attention, spinning an animated tale that had the table howling in raucous laughter.
The only one whose attention was away from the tanned male you heard is called Hinata is the promoter from downstairs, looking directly at you in shock.
“Oh fuck.”
Three buttons on his shirt were now unbuttoned, giving you a more intimate view of his chest. The same, broad, muscled chest you fantasized over earlier. His gaze is unrelenting, and you realize you had also been staring back at him when Kaori waves her hands in front of your face, trying to get your attention.
“Giiiiiirl? Hello?”
You revert your attention back to your group, acting as if you definitely weren’t just thinking about jumping on the blonde’s lap then and there, pulling him into a kiss, grinding on him as you unbutton his shirt and pants in a desperate, heated haze and then...
Kaori interrupts your thoughts with, “This is our friend from high school, Bokuto-san! His boyfriend Akaashi-kun will be joining us later.” Bokuto is beaming down at you with a megawatt smile and pulls you in a bear hug as you move to shake his hand.
Yuki introduces you as their friend from university that just moved to help launch a Japanese edition of a niche French fashion magazine. She adds, “Bokuto is the star ace of his volleyball team, and these are some of his teammates from the MSBY Black Jackals.”
At this, Bokuto bellows a “ HEY HEY HEY!” that garners the attention of his teammates and onlookers alike.
His teammates warmly welcome you and the girls to their table, as if you’re all old friends simply catching up. Comfortable, you engage Hinata and Meian in a lively conversation about your common experiences while traveling in Brazil. From your shared love of pao de queijo, debating where the best feijoada can be found in Rio, all the way to sharing the wild scenes you’ve all seen in Ipanema's legendary posto 8, banter flowing easily.
You were having a great time, happy to make new friends.
Atsumu had been stealthily watching you throughout the introductions. You acted as if it was the first time you’ve met him, then gracefully jumped into a discussion with his captain and newest teammate as if you were all best friends, when in fact for the last two weeks since Shoyo had joined the team, he’d nervously run to the bathroom every time Meian tried to talk to him for longer than five minutes. Now here he is, laughing with you and the captain about your shared culture shock in realizing how comfortable Brazilians were with skinship.
Atsumu met you less than three hours ago, but every little detail he picks up about you fascinates him more and more. There wasn’t a single thing about you that he didn’t like so far, leaving him intrigued, pining to get to know more. Except for one little big thing.. you flat out rejected him, so now he’s actively avoiding you out of respect for the boundaries you set initially.
Still, he was riveted. He wanted to get to know you one way or another, even if it was trying to casually listen in on your conversations with his teammates.
“What a creep.” Sakusa interrupts his thoughts, rolling his eyes at Atsumu.
Bokuto leans in and attempts to whisper in a hushed tone, in an octave that was definitely too loud to be a whisper, “She’s super cute Tsumtsum! Go for it!”
“Just talk to her, you’ve been staring at her the entire time. It’s starting to get weird.” Sakusa adds.
For arguably the first time in his adult life, Atsumu is insecure.
How does he approach you for the second time? He doesn’t even know what to talk to you about. Here you were, casually conversing about your world travels when he’d never even left Japan except for international matches. You, decked out in designer items he’d gifted different ex-girlfriends as apologies or appeasements for every time he prioritized volleyball over them. You, who were already chummy with his teammates even though it took him months to warm up to them. For fuck’s sake, sometimes his jokes still fall flat, but here you are cracking jokes and making even Omi chuckle. Who the hell are you? And how can Atsumu get to know you? Does he want to be like you or be inside you? How does he even get your attention without seeming like a desperate jerk? Why the fuck does he care what some random girl thinks of him?
He never really cared about what others thought of him outside of volleyball, but when he can’t rely on his one true love to speak for him, who is he and what does he have to offer?
Having an existential crisis at an ostentatious club at midnight was definitely not something Atsumu wanted to do. Yet here he is, feeling as dejected as the day he wore the Jackasuke costume and slipped in public for the whole world to see.
Swirling the melting ball of ice on his crystal glass filled with Yamazaki 18, he didn't notice that you had moved closer to him.
“They say whiskey is a depressant. Is that why you look so sad?” You joke, then gesture to his drink with a small smile.
Atsumu lifts his head to look at you, then freezes upon realizing your close proximity. He counters, “Really? What should I have for a good time then?”
“Me.” You cheekily reply and wink at him.
He grins at you, confidence steadily regaining at realizing that he might have a chance with you after all.
Saturday, 12:00am JST
Pouring a newly opened bottle of Ace of Spades on two champagne flutes laid out on the table, you make amends.
“Sorry for being so rude earlier. I get really defensive when I’m randomly approached by men, especially because I thought you were a promoter looking to get girls to join your table… I didn’t know I had mutual friends with some hotshot athlete.” You smile awkwardly.
He laughs and jokes back, but there is definitely some weight to his sentiment.
“Ah, but since Imma hotshot athlete, s’all good now right?”
You replace the whiskey glass in his hands with a champagne flute and shoot back. “Nah, I really thought you were trying to pimp me out to your flashy friends who bought tables from you, or worse, that you were just trying to get a quick fuck.”
Atsumu chokes on his own spit at your frank reply, and you giggle before lowering your voice so only he could hear.
You counter, “For the record, I would have been down for the latter, except you didn’t even introduce yourself. You should also know that I don’t ever need your help to get places.”
You smile innocently at him as if you didn’t just confirm that you were down to fuck if only he had played his cards right. His mind fogs, instantly imagining dragging you to the nearest bathroom to fuck you silly. He thinks about what it would feel like to sloppily kiss your full lips, moving his hands from your hair down to your neck and shoulders, feeling the curves of your body graciously skimming the silk fabric of your dress, only to unwrap you like a prized gift and worship you with his tongue.
You clear your throat, well aware that Atsumu’s most likely imagining fucking you given his glazed over eyes and parted lips.
With a blush, he tries to cover his reddening cheeks and neck by downing his drink. He bounces back with a, “Well then. The name’s Atsumu, 23 years old, professional volleyball player - the best damned setter the MSBY Black Jackals and the Japanese National Team has ever seen.”
Atsumu realizes then that he never really had to introduce himself. Not seriously anyway. Most people around him already knew who he was; his teammates, coaches, players within the league, aspiring volleyball players, fans of the game, fans of his.. even people around him who didn’t have interest in volleyball just generally knew of his reputation as one of Japan’s most talented athletes and eligible bachelors.
How does he tell you about himself without pulling out his phone to show you his current stats or videos of his top sets as proof that he really is as good as he says? Without looking like an ass? Even worse, what does he tell you about himself without volleyball being the main subject?
You smile, intrigued at how he suddenly seemed so sure of himself while talking about volleyball, emitting pride and passion as he describes his profession.
So you continue to ask him about the sport. Atsumu visibly relaxes, his love for the game evident as he discusses their most recent friendly match, the reason why their Osaka based team is in the capital just before some of them start training for the Olympics. The other boys jump in and out of the conversation, with Yuki and Kaori clarifying certain terms to you when they see you furrow your brows in confusion.
As the alcohol keeps flowing and the conversation moves to the upcoming Olympics, you and Atsumu have veered off the multiple group conversations and are transfixed on each other.
He asks you what you’re doing in Tokyo and how you ended up there, so you tell him you graduated from university recently, originally intending to become a Doctor but decided to pause and move to Paris upon graduation, wherein between random side hustles you somehow landed a job in editorial fashion. Thus landing you in Tokyo on an extended work trip.
Atsumu is bewildered at how you could switch careers so easily and still succeed, that you have multiple passions and follow them according to your whims.
He couldn’t imagine living a life like yours, volleyball being the only thing he’s actively pursued since realizing he had to make a living somehow. He wonders whether he chose volleyball as a career because it was the only thing he was good at and the only thing he could think of when his high school teacher asked him about his options for the future.
Deep down he knows that he loves the sport more than anything else, the driving force and principle behind his very essence. Still he can’t help but wonder, what if he chose do something else? What if he found a different passion to pursue? Would he have made a good doctor? Lawyer? Entrepreneur and chef like Samu? He shudders, lost for answers. He settles his raging thoughts by simply asking, “How could you switch careers so easily?”
You pause to think for a while, then casually respond.
“People are multi-faceted. I think there’s different versions to us as we navigate life. We fall in and out of love with different people, hobbies, places, food, aesthetics... There are just so many variables, so many moving parts as we get older.. Who’s to decide that we have to be tied to the same job or pursue the same passion for the rest of our lives?”
This confuses him even more, and he decides that despite you having the same self-assured aura that Kita-san has, you’re the complete opposite of him, different from everyone around him actually. Him, his brother, his friends, his exes, all of whom either have a clear direction or some semblance of goals and dreams for the future.
You on the other hand, are all risk. You boldly trek into the unknown, unafraid and ready to face the variables and twist them so that they fall to your favor. Atsumu supposes that in this way, he relates to you.
He replies, “Huh. Weird but I guess I kinda get it. It’s like when I’m on court observing opponents. I have to sniff out and adapt to whatever bullshit they’re on, tweak our plays and my settin’ style to make sure we crush them. Sorta like a gamble.”
“Exactly.” You confirm.
“Eh..but nothing feels better than winnin’. How do you even know if you’re winning when you don’t have set objectives?” Atsumu counters.
You playfully roll your eyes at him.
“I do! My objectives are just adjusted to my current surroundings. I’d say pondering over the inherent philosophical value of career choices in a rooftop bar in Tokyo with a sexy volleyball setter is winning.”
“Touché.”
He grins, aiming to pour more champagne to your flutes before realizing that you two polished off the bottle of Ace on the table and that your friends were all in various states of inebriation.
Yuki dancing with her boyfriend, Kaori grinding on Adriah, Bokuto and Hinata on the dance floor twerking on the older MSBY members to Reggaeton, Sakusa and Akaashi watching all of this in amused horror.
“Wanna dance?” Atsumu asks.
After topping your glasses with overpriced bottle service liquor, you move towards the dance floor at the center of the club, joining your friends.
You’re shocked at how well Atsumu can dance, easily gripping your hips and moving with you as you gyrate against him to 90s hip hop jams. Hinata finds you both and proceeds to dance on you, laughing as you twirl him and sandwich him between you and Atsumu.
After a couple more songs, you, Bokuto, and the girls end up dancing on top of a random table screaming the lyrics to the newest Megan Thee Stallion song.
Yuki somehow proceeds to wrangle you all back to your table to take shot after shot, fueling the night to go on.
Saturday, 3:00am JST
Your group stumbles out of the rooftop bar, with the married MSBY members calling it a night. Bokuto on the other hand, is already ordering an Uber Lux to take you all from Shibuya to an even more upscale club in Minato, on the other end of Tokyo for a good nightcap.
Atsumu holds your hand as you enter the club, the most he’s gotten to touch you since dancing with you earlier.
Your group downs more bottles of champagne and vodka, all dancing on each other at your table.
Emboldened by the alcohol in your system, you pop your ass a little more against Atsumu’s crotch, swaying more seductively to a random top forty hit. Feeling him hardening against his fitted trousers, you turn to face him, skimming your fingers on his chains and chest as you continue to dance. In turn he runs his hands up and down your sides, moving more liberally to each drop of the beat, grazing up the underside of your breasts and back down to cup the curve of your ass. His hands feel warm on your body, steadily stoking a growing fire in you.
You gaze up at Atsumu, tilting your head to lightly graze your lips against his neck, trailing upwards towards his ear, effectively sending shivers down his spine. You whisper, “Would you consider this winning, hotshot?” licking the shell of his ear, resulting in Atsumu groaning lowly as you move your head to look back at him.
With hazy eyes, Atsumu looks at you, then whispers, “Winning would be when I’ve made you come with my mouth so many times you’re beggin’ me to fuck you.. but until then pretty girl, this is pretty close.”
You pussy throbs as his lips brush against your skin with every whisper, but before you can even respond, Atsumu kisses you.
His soft lips press on yours, capturing your lower lip in a soft bite that elicits pleasure that starts in your belly then moves down south. His hands continue to move up and down your sides, now more possessive in grabbing your ass to bring you closer to him.
You teasingly lick his parted lips, prompting Atsumu to dance his tongue against yours.
Lost in open mouthed kisses that have you both desperately groping each other’s clothed bodies on the dance floor, you feel Atsumu brush his knuckle over your breasts, motions languid and repeating as your nipples arouse and become visible through your silk dress.
Your entire body is overheating. You moan against his mouth.
He whispers, “Wanna take this somewhere more private?” You nod immediately, then rush to tell your friends you’d catch up with them over brunch tomorrow.
Atsumu is waiting by the exit, but as soon as he sees you, he is so turned on he can’t help but sear you into another heated kiss, leaving you both weak and wanting.
Saturday, 4:30am JST
Miraculously, the nearest Uber is 25 minutes away and the cabs are far and few. Atsumu starts to dial a private car service, but then notices you wandering down the street.
“Oi!! Where you goin’?” He calls out.
You pout. “I’m hungry.”
Atsumu offers to order you room service at his hotel but you decline, taking his calloused but surprisingly moisturized hand as you skip down a tiny alley way towards a conbini.
Inside, you fill your basket to the brim with an assortment of junk food. Chips, instant ramen, sandwiches, daifuku mochi, fried chicken poppers, and every other snack you find with cute packaging before finally leading you to the end of an aisle, choosing between which types of onigiri to purchase.
Atsumu goes along with you, advising you which brands to get, which to avoid, even putting his favorites in the basket. Although he knows his trainer will punish him with brutal training sessions if he sees the shit he’s about to put on his body, he thinks it’s all worth it. He knows he’ll feel guilty come morning, spending hours at the gym to burn it all off, but right now he couldn’t care less. Not after seeing you starry eyed at how many options of onigiri there are, and how absolutely adorable you look when asking him about which snacks he thinks could fit in your purse to save for later.
Trying to impress you, Atsumu comments. “Y’know, I make a mean tuna onigiri.”
No he doesn’t. His brother does, but you don’t know that. Not yet at least.
“Oh yeah? Want to make me some one of these days?” You respond.
Securing a date with you before the night even ends? Hell yeah.
Atsumu thanks his lucky stars, confidently confirming. “Sure, how does tomorrow evening sound?”
“Baby, our night hasn’t even ended and you’re booking me for tomorrow already. Are you trying to cuff me?”
“Yes. Then wife you.” But Atsumu holds his tongue for once.
Instead he winks at you, responding with a casual “Only if you want me to” with a wide, cheeky, canine bearing smile.
Laughing, you roll your eyes at him as he swoops in to carry your basket and insists on paying for your drunken munchies haul.
Saturday, 5:15am JST
Somehow you and Atsumu end up sitting on a park bench, sharing the food he bought from the conbini. Like two excitable school children on a field trip, you trade half bitten snacks with each other while talking about everything and nothing in between.
He tells you about his twin brother Osamu, who he insists is definitely uglier and the bummy version of him; how they did everything together up until Samu decided to open up his own restaurant and stay in their hometown of Hyogo instead of playing professional volleyball like him.
Atsumu tells you all about their childhood, from catching bugs to keep as pets and sneaking them to their room only to hear their ma screaming about it in the middle of the night, to how he always took from Samu’s secret snack stash, always denied doing so when confronted, but always paid him back with interest by secretly dropping a chunk of his monthly allowance on Samu’s piggy bank. The same one that Samu would later break open to help fund the opening of his restaurant. All the petty fights that turned into brawls, only to act like nothing happened despite being covered in scratches as soon as their tired mom walked through the door after a long day of work. He talks about his twin in such an easygoing manner, love overflowing in his voice and reminiscent of when he was speaking about volleyball, but this time there’s a twinge of wistfulness and melancholy to his tone.
“You miss him.” You softly conclude.
“That idiot? Nah.”
“It’s okay. I won’t hold it against you for blackmail.” You tease.
Atsumu concedes. “Okay maybe a little.”
Loose lipped from the alcohol still flowing in his veins, he continues.
“Samu and I have always been together. Startin’ at the womb for fuck’s sake, fightin’ each other over stupid shit, getting our asses kicked by our ma, sharin’ a room, spewing random thoughts to each other only the two of us would understand, goin’ to the same school, on the same volleyball teams, with the same friends, or rather him havin’ friends that ended up adoptin’ me to their group.”
He chuckles. “I think I took it all for granted, havin’ someone there always with me.. Even if he always got on my ass for the littlest things and it used to always piss me off. Deep down I knew he was always just lookin’ out for me, just didn’t know how ta’ show it. I mean, I didn’t either.”
He laughs because he knows he still doesn’t know how. “It’s almost been four years since I moved away from home and...”
He doesn’t finish the sentiment, but he doesn’t have to.
Atsumu is alone, and although he loves to brag to Osamu and their friends about the freedom having his own space brings, he knows he’s also so fucking lonely.
You finish his thought for him by empathizing. “I get it. I mean, kind of. I don’t have a twin so I can only imagine, but I’ve been living on my own for quite some time now, in between countries with parents who don’t support my career change and friends always in different places than where I am. It’s isolating. But hey, that’s why we put ourselves out there right? Why you acted like a sleazy promoter in front of the club and why I acted like a stone cold bitch earlier only to come at you? Our lame attempts at easing loneliness in hopes that one day, someone might finally understand... or just be there to try.”
You chuckle half-heartedly, nudging his shoulders to try and ease the somber tension.
He turns to look at you, smiling up at him, listening and just trying to understand. He can’t help himself. He pulls you into a sweet kiss that tastes of strawberry daifuku and expensive champagne.
Atsumu knows that you’ll never understand what it’s like to have a twin, to live a life away from them, to suddenly pursue a passion you thought was shared only to have to do it all on your own.. He thinks it’s amazing that you’re even listening to him rant about his nostalgia, even when he knows his thoughts seem incoherent, even when he currently doesn’t even know how to define himself.
In a dimly lit park in Azabu, you and Atsumu find solace in each other’s solitude.
He doesn’t know how he managed to basically word vomit to a stranger issues he finds too embarrassing to even mention to his brother, yet here he is. He doesn’t even know why barely two hours ago you were feeling each other up at a club, about to go back to his hotel room and drunkenly fuck, but now here you were at a park in the middle of a ritzy neighborhood in Tokyo, sharing snacks, stories and innocent kisses.
Talking to you, kissing you, hell even drunkenly shopping for food with you felt like second nature to him, as if you had been with him all along and this was just part of you two’s routine. Atsumu doesn’t know why though, since you couldn’t be more different from him.
You, who finds sparks of interest then bravely torches it aflame, letting it change your life as you go along. Then there’s him, lucky to have found his passion early on, pursuing it steadfastly since then, letting it consume and define him.
Perhaps it was the fact that you found each other incredibly attractive and you both were just looking for some sort of release, sexual or not.
Or honestly, maybe it’s the shared loneliness of being newly minted adults, trying to navigate life on your own without the familiar crutches only youth affords.
Whatever it is, Atsumu finds himself even more drawn to you.
“Being alone, if it’s together with you, isn’t so bad after all,” he thinks.
He watches you as you look up to observe the night sky rapidly fading to make room for the soft pastels of dawn, a soft smile painting your pretty lips. He doesn’t realize he mirrors your smile as soon as he sees it.
At 23, Atsumu doesn’t know the answers to a lot of things. He knows now that you don’t either, but he definitely knows then that he wants you to be there with him as you both figure it all out.
Saturday, 3:45pm JST
“I need a favor Samu. I need to make dinner to pair with onigiri. Oh wait, actually I also need to make onigiri. Tuna scallion.”
“You? Cookin? What?”
“It’s for this girl...”
“A girl agreed to let you cook for her? Is she sane? Conscious? Did you force her?”
“Fuck off!”
“Bet.”
Osamu hangs up.
Atsumu panics and calls him back immediately.
“Fuck I’m sorry!! I’m sorry! I… mighthavetoldherIcookwelltoimpressher.”
“Ah so you’re posin’ as me. I knew I was the superior twin.”
“You wish!! But please... I really like her. It’s the girl from yesterday.”
In all 23 years of being Atsumu’s brother, Osamu had never heard of Atsumu wanting to impress a girl by actually doing something for her. Buying them all the shit they could want, taking them out to eat wherever they want, sure. But actively taking time out of his day, time that could’ve been spent training, to do something for someone else, not even sure if the end result might pay off?
This was new.
Knowing Tsumu’s lack of patience and short attention span, the food will be barely edible. He knows Tsumu expects this to happen already; so he’s intrigued that his brother really insists on trying.
He’s always known Atsumu to be a gambler on court. Off court, he takes the safe routes. So for him to suddenly take a gamble like this, you must have been pretty damn special.
“Alright, scrub. I’ll send you the ingredients list. Facetime me when you’re back in the kitchen.”
- - -
- - -
Notes: The places noted in the story are based on real locations in Tokyo. See below if you’d like to imagine more vividly where you and Atsumu’s adventures took place. :)
Locations used:
1. Rooftop bar/restaurant - Ce la Vi, Shibuya
2. 3am club - 1Oak, Minato
3. Conbini - Lawson's (any one of them in Azabu)
4. Park - Mamiana Park, Azabu
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btswishes · 4 years ago
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What we were and what we are
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One Shot/ Random
A/N: Take it as an emotional dump. I will put a keep readying line since I don’t think anyone would want to read this. XD Have fun anyways if you wish to stay friend. Who knows maybe it could be a Yoongi x Reader , friends to lovers story, idk. 
Word count:   2,535
Playlist recommended for this : Jin-Epiphany   Big Bang- Loser  Big Bang- Blue   at the end you can try BTS- We Are Bulletproof The Eternal
Warnings:  dark, anxiety, talk of trauma , be yourself please
                   ----------------------------------------------------------------------
  The sky was covered with soft cotton candy like clouds, tinted in the colors of the ending day. Oranges, reds, blues, yellows, you name it it was there. The wind was warm and but a whispering tender sensation over your exposed skin. The grass pillowing your body under the roughly placed cover, as your head moved up and down by Yoongi’s breath. Laying onto him felt like a antidepressant pill to you.Time had stopped. He was leaning onto his left arm as you both were looking up at the sky. His free hand from time to time brushing over your hair. 
“Your mom is calling.” he said taking a glance at your lit up phone screen
“Leave it.” you didn’t even use all the breath in your lungs with this sentence. 
“Shouldn’t you pick up tho? I mean she is your mom.” Yoongi’s eyes now focused onto you 
“Nah man, she is probably mad at me for something. My mom or not, good or shitty relationship, no matter how much parents say ‘i understand you’ or ‘i was your age once too’ .It never works, telling them anything ends up being a pain in the ass later. Asking for help when you fuck up is the same.” you tried following a lonely cloud with the corner of your eye
“I guess them not accepting that something is wrong with their kids is a defense mechanism.” 
“That fucks us up tho. Just because they want to lie to themselves to feel better, leaves their kids untreated and undiagnosed ,messing them up. Years of being bullied and not knowing why, can’t study even if they try, can’t be themselves. Such an easy solution, yet such a hard choice to make to take the first step.” you sighed as you spoke out, a bit of disappointment mixed in with your breath. 
“Ha ha ha.” Yoongi laughed under his nose before laying back down 
“The fuck did I say?” you cut him off, thinking the giggle was a bit displaced in this talk
“And when you take the first step? What then? The so called professionals lie to us too, give us chemistry and tell us all will be ok as they turn us into addicts to fake serotonin. Psychologists? The word comes from Greek meaning the study of the soul, yet those assholes look at us as bags of meat that you can stuff with pills. Yet we would do anything to get that drop of calmness, that feeling of being a bit happy for being alive right now. And when the effect passes? You want more and more, pill after pill, pharmacy after pharmacy. What difference is there between us people with anxiety and disorders and drug addicts? The medical degree probably.” 
  You smirked after his last words “ Not all doctors are bad, but you can feel how genuine they are, the rest are health merchants. I don’t think there was a difference in the first place. Drugs, alcohol, smoking fuck it, even sex, man. It’s all to fill that void with dopamine, serotonin and all the bio crap.” 
“Isn’t that chemistry tho?”
“We learned it in biology class so it’s bio to me. Do I look like a professor to you?” you rolled over and flicked his nose earning a ‘yah!’ “Hey.” 
“Wasup?” Yoongi pulled his hand from under his head and spread his arms wide like a star in the vast sky. 
“You know that thing where people ask you, if you saw your younger self in front of you right now and they were having the same feelings as you. What would you do?”
“I don’t know honestly, probably give the little guy a hug and some money ,or buy him something to eat. Someone out there for sure has it shittier than me, but I guess one of my mistakes was to undervalue my own emotions and mental state. Fuck, i got myself in such a hole. When people say ‘after you hit the bottom there is no where more to go but up’ , honestly that is straight up crap and bullshit. Some of us keep clawing and digging fearing that there is more to come. “ 
“Ah.” a memory popped up in your head on it’s own “That shit hole. Yeah, either you lose yourself laying there with bloody fingernails and hands, or you start crawling back up like a bug. You know, the blood is gonna stain the walls so next time you fall you will remember and catch yourself...if you make it that far.” lifting your hand, you covered a bit of the sky with it, noticing the colors around it “What about the times we reach out but no one grabs on?”
“Fuck! Y/N! We were supposed to have a nice walk in the park not a whole ass depressing talk session!” Yoongi hissed out, unlike his words his voice wasn’t angry
“Oh come on, you know that somehow we always end up talking about this shit.We are both broken pieces, but I think that isn’t bad at all.” you felt his breath stop under you for a split second “I feel like that is why we fit so well together.”
“Oh for real?” he asked a bit surprised by your words “I always thought it was because we were both hella toxic.” you swung your hand and hit him in the stomach “OOF!” he folded in half, sending you sitting up “I forgot how aggressive you were too.” Yoongi’s voice was coming from between his teeth.
“I am serious! I feel like we went through our hard times and learned to manage, that is why we can talk about all these things like this.” 
“Makes sense, we were each other’s shoulder. You start falling, I pull on you and the other way around.”
 You noticed the contagious smirk on his face that mirrored onto you almost instantly “We fall together, we crawl back up together. Damn we sound inspirational.”
“I told you! We should make one of those vlog channels where people wake up at 5 am looking like damn models, meditate and finish all their work before 11am.” throwing your body back you fell onto the cover, but Yoongi didn’t join you. He staid sitting, letting you focus on his back as he continued “You know we are losers, right?” 
“The biggest losers out there.” 
  He looked towards the sky letting the wind play with his hair, when suddenly you both burst out laughing. Your voices were so loud the birds flew away. “Yeah, we are.”
“Honestly tho Yoongs. Why did we care so much what people thought of us? I mean sometimes I still do but-”
“Same, same.”
“Don’t cut me off stupid!” you kicked him a bit “As I was saying!” you emphasized on ‘saying’ ,when he pinched your leg in retaliation a couple of times “Body types, dudes, girls, genderfluid or no gender at all. Being cute or stylish, pretty or ugly, was a mad waste of time. The nerd is gonna probably become rich, the ugly people will end up becoming better lookin that those basic Karens. I swear, even with all that bulling and people wanting be to be the top. With or without them the Earth keeps spinning .”
 “Did you just discriminate flat earth people!?” he gasped cartoonish “Y/N, i didn’t know you were this type of person.”
“Yah! You really out here trying to cancel your best friend, Min Yoongi!” 
“You don’t need me to do that, you already do it yourself with the stuff you say.”
“Says you, loser.” your words made him lean onto his elbow next to you, eyes focused on your face as the colors of the sky began fading over your bodies and skin 
“I like that word, loser.” he said “It sounds rude, but at the same time no one calls you that if you aren’t different. Different means unique, special. Who tf would want to be the same as others?”
“That was us too stupid, back then.” Yoongi pocked your cheek a couple of times gently 
“Yeah, but it’s not back then anymore Y/N. It’s now. We grew up. With our jaw and fist clenched we fought and made it here. They shot at us, they threw rocks and called us cowards, weirdos. But we made it through the darkness. After all that we are and will forever be bulletproof.” the sudden rustle of the grass under you two signaled him getting up and spinning, hands to the side. His head leaned back and he looked so happy. Yoongi’s eyes were closed, he could fall and not even notice, but he wasn’t afraid no more. Whatever happens will happen. 
“You make us sound hella dope man. I love it.”
“Anxiety, social issues, any kind of mental problems and disorders. They level us up, as long as we try. At the end of the day you lose something to win something.”
“The end of the chapter is the beginning of the next.” you began to notice he was starting to lose balance from all that spinning around “Hey stupid, you will fall and hurt yourself like th-” you couldn’t even finish the sentence when his legs tangled up and he fell onto you “You ok?!That was such a stupid move! Open your eyes next time!”
“Why?” he became serious, his eyes looking into yours. Yoongi crooked his head to the side,as his fingers caressed your cheek “If I was looking I would have been too afraid to fall. At the end of it all i ended up failing and found a little angel. See? Win win to me. You can’t always see where you are going, but you gotta believe that good things are on the other side.”
“You are bleeding, that is what is on this side.”
“I am WHAT!” his forehead was a bit scratched “Damn it! My handsome face!”
“Oh come on! Wait till I glow up like that! I will get the best looking SO out there.” the child in you was pouting at Yoongi
“You know damn well we are too messed up for a relationship with others. We try and try, get used and then we either lose interest, or fall completely out of love for months. By the way...” his fingers found your cheek again, but this time it wasn’t a gentle poke but a sharp pinch. Your hands flew in the direction of his arm to try and make him let go of you. “Who told you you don’t look good?”
“Ow ow Yoongi! Let me go!!!”
“Not until you tell me who said all that crap to you!?” prying yourself from his grip you continued rubbing the now red and warm spot
“People i liked or others in general. You know how shit goes.” 
“You for real need to get your eyes checked! People stare at you when you walk by cus you look TOO good.” his words were like a low growl of a jealous pet
“Nah man, they are either judging me or they want to fight me. There is no middle ground here.” 
“You really!” with all the power in his hand he flicked your forehead 
“Stop inflicting me wounds!”
“Then stop talking shit about yourself! I swear your bodydismorphia needs to join Jimin when he has talk sessions about his day with Hoseok.Plus, people do stare at you when you walk in town in the attracted way. On our way here at least 5 people turned back and continued looking.”
“Ew creepy!” you said “Why do you count them!”
“You little!!!Come here!” your neck found itself in a chokehold in a matter of seconds 
“HYUNG!”Jungkook’s voice echoed through the park reaching your direction “Y/N AND YOONGI ARE BEING THE DEPRESSED AND FLIRTY AGAIN!”
 “This kid I swear I will kill him some time soon!” you hissed at Jungkook
“You two really can’t drop this habit.” the slow and calm footsteps pulled your attention and soon subsided your anger 
“Joon, you know how we are.” you added, leaning back onto you elbows 
“I know, we are all like that.” Joon looked at you two sitting on the ground
“Y/N is right, broken pieces do find each other.” Yoongi added, but Joon sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He squatted down eye level 
“Broken pieces find each other because they fit together and make a beautiful new bottle that they can fill up with happy memories. Our sad and hard pasts make us titanium that can’t be broken. Even if one of us cracks, we are all going to help him become stronger.” he reached his hand out, standing up “ You are not alone Y/N, we are going to be forever titanium. You have us and we have you now. We are not lonely or misérables with you.”
“WE ARE BULLETPROOF GUYS!” Jungkook yelled out again
“Yeah...we are.” with a smile shining brighter than ever ,you grabbed Joon’s hand.He pulled you up as you were holding onto Yoongi. When the chain starts no one can cut the bond. We pull each other up...is what you realized. 
“Oh and.”
“Yes Joons?” 
“Can you two date already or at least go out on a date. It hurts looking at yall like this.”
“What!?” the blanket in your hand turned into weapon as you began hitting him with it in a moment of panic. His words hit a nerve.Yoongi wasn’t the one to rush or to run. With his hands in his pockets he followed you down the hill. His footsteps stopped for a moment to look at the now dark sky. 
 We may not be able to see the stars during the day, but at night they are too many to even count. Nothing is truly hidden forever, even who you are meant to be. It’s ok not to know now or later. When we are young we dont really know. We try to fit in a mold that was created, but we can’t, we just can’t no matter how much we try.
 We end up being labeled by the things we are different. Some come from a darker past, others don’t. Yet everyone is important, the way they feel, their emotions and inner state. If I could, I would grab your hand and show you a bit of the future. Think of this, your future self, the one that did it all finally and continues to dream big, is looking at you through memories. They grab your hand and push you forward towards the good. The tunnel may be dark, cold, lonesome and scary but it always leads to something. Just don’t give up.
  Regret, unsuccessful love, residual feelings for someone who used you. They are all a stepping stone, don’t look at them. Now you know what not to do, EXP( experience points)  come in many forms honey. Be who you want to be, life is yours. Be the main character in your story, not anyone else’s. Even if you fall sometimes, show everyone how amazing you are by standing up. Baby steps turn into miles, whispers become yelling, crawling becomes flying. Breaking the mold becomes you. 
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crazy4myself · 4 years ago
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A list of Halsey lyric’s that should be writing prompts:
Manic Era
It’s funny how, the warning signs can feel like the butterflies
And if only, the time and space between us wasn't lonely
If I could make you love me Maybe you could make me love me And if I can't make you love me Then I'll just hate everybody
I'd like to tell you that my sky's not blue, it's violent rain
Left my shoes in the street so you'd carry me Through a breakdown or a blackout
No, you're not half the man you think that you are And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs, and cars
Cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you
I spent a long time substituting honest with sarcastic And I cursed my tongue for being mean
'Cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it
I don’t even remember anything but thinkin' you're the one. And I can force a future like it's nothing
I know that it's unfair of me To make a memory out of a feelin'
I know it's complicated 'Cause everyone that I've dated says they hate it 'Cause they don't know what to do with me, 
I need it digital 'cause, baby, when it's physical I end up alone
And then I got you off your knees Put you right back on your feet Just so you could take advantage of me
Tell me, how's it feel sittin' up there? Feelin' so high, but too far away to hold me
Lost the love of my life to an ivory powder But then I realize that I'm no higher power
I wasn't in love then, and I'm still not now And I'm so happy I figured that out
Think my moral compass is on a vacation And I can't believe I still feed my fucking temptation I'm still looking for my salvation
The dawn before sunrise is darker than anything But never forget the stars you hope for only appear in the dark- Suga
Nightmare (and EOM) Era
No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth
I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be 
Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware But I'd rather be a real nightmare, than die unaware, yeah
Know you fucking love it on the low And you don't have to say I'm crazy 'Cause I know nothing's changed 
I'm pretty like a car crash Ugly as a lullaby
(I’m) Seen not heard is what they told me 
Too pretty to be feeling lonely
So hopeless but I'm still romantic
Hopeless Fountin Kingdom Era
And now I can't stop thinking that I can't stop thinking That I almost gave you everything And now the whole thing's finished and I can't stop wishing That I never gave you anything 
Would've gave it all for you, cared for you So tell me where I went wrong 
I'm breathing down your neck, your body screaming And you thought that you were the boss tonight, but I can put up one good fight
We've been through it all But you could never spit it out for me Tryna talk to a wall But you could never tear it down for me, yeah
But I still know your birthday, and your mother's favorite song (okay I’m going to stop right here and say the entier song Sorry is one big heart- broken writing prompt, but for some reason the inimency in this lyric hurts extra bad)
All I'm sayin' is if you don't love me no more, then lie
But I scream too loud when I speak my mind
'Cause you know the good die young, but so did this And so it must be better than I think it is
Badlands Era
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it. Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it.
My demons are begging me to open up my mouth I need them. Mechanically make the words come out
All we do is drive All we do is think about the feelings that we hide All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign
Everything is gray His hair, his smoke, his dreams And now he's so devoid of color He don't know what it means
The classic: You were red, and you liked me because I was blue But you touched me, and suddenly I was a lilac sky Then you decided purple just wasn't for you
I found god,I found him in a lover When his hair falls in his face, and his hands so cold they shake
Cause I've done some things that I can't speak And I've tried to wash you away, but you just won't leave
I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds And I couldn't stand the person inside me I turned all the mirrors around
I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my bed They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead
He says, "Ooh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs And if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight"
I don't like them innocent, I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather, begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys, mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor, but quick to tell me goodbye
Note: Okay so this is something new for me. These are obviously not dioluge prompts or word-for-word prompts. They’re very much mood builders. I love all of Halsey’s writing I think she convays emotion and connects her music beautifully. However, a lot of these are on the angstier side, and I don’t think I could do the justice, so I’m sharing them in the world hoping you’ll do a little of it form me. Please add any of your own if you think of them, or tag/DM me if this helped inspier any of your writing I would love to read it. :)
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friendlyneighborhooddolan · 5 years ago
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fourth
warnings: kinda panic attack? mentions of sexual acts 
pairing: Grayson Dolan x reader
summary: insecurities wash over. Fuck.
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Y/N was looking at Grayson. The way his brown and green  eyes widened every time something happened to the protagonist in the movie.
The way his nose was gently sloped, making a small upturn, his pink lips and his dimples showing up when there’s anything remotely funny told in the film. The three day stubble made an appearance on his face and he was finally growing his beard out after days of coaxing him to do so, and his soft, fluffy hair, brown locks, unmade. His defined jawline made a dip coming up to his high cheekbones. She wished she could kiss it forever. Eyebrows were furrowed and forehead wrinkled with concentration and his face was perfect and then he smiled and Y/N swore her heart stopped. He was so beautiful.
And then his neck, and his broad shoulders that carried the weight of the world and then came his arms and hands that were so veiny and so nice and he was too damn pretty, dammit. And then came his fingers that always made beats on surfaces, his hyperactivity taking the spotlight. Back to his chest that was hard but too damn hot and Y/N would lie on it and listen to his steady heartbeat forever if she could. And then his stomach– his abs that made her lover even more Adonis-like. And then came his thighs– ohmygod, his thighs. So thick and big and nice, and Y/N even admitted he had legs better than anyone she's ever met– not fair, she thought.
She loved sitting on them. In both sexual and non-sexual way.
Never fair, no.
No. This man was David and Adonis and Apollo and every greek god she could think of and every sculpture she could recall in her mind.
She felt as if she shouldn't even aureate his looks, he was beautiful enough without the poetic and exquisite words– all in all, he was a work of art. Y/N hated to compare herself with him. No, she wasn't Aphrodite to herself, and now the demons were floating behind her glossy eyes and Grayson saw that something was wrong when the deep frown etched itself upon her face.
"My petal?" He sat up suddenly, making Y/N look up at him.
"My love," he cleared his throat, "my love, what's wrong? Is it the movie?"
"No. I just– I just need you to tell me I'm safe." Y/N put her hands on her knees, squeezing so hard her fingers turned ghastly. Her lip trembled and her eyes burned as she tried to keep her tears at bay.
"Oh, bubba," Grayson sighed out. His hands wrapped themselves around her waist, pulling her into himself, a tight hug and Y/N let herself go. Her tears flowed out of her eyes steadily as she sobbed into his chest.
"I don't deserve you, Gray. I truly don't. I'm a strange lipstick color and I'm the shimmer in cheap shampoo and I'm the eyeliner on the back of your hand and I'm glitter you can't get off your skin and even though I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful in the most disgusting way and you'll never get rid of me," Y/N weeped out softly.
"No, love. You are sharp edged steel. You– you are a lone fragment of a broken mirror and you are ripped edges and cracked glass but your heart still throbbs with lioness blood. And if I could I would sing down the stars for you. But all I have is my love and my calloused hands. Y/N, you are too beautiful. And I will fix you. I swear. I will."
He didn’t know where he found his words, but he spoke truth.
She looked up to him. The boy's concerned orbs saw through Y/N’s teary eyes..
Behind them, Grayson found devastation. Shadows that wreak havoc under an oil-black sky. What once was a gemstone of Y/N, now shrouded in a film of dust and decay. He found that to be the aftermath of a bomb-swollen storm.
War inside Y/N's eyes was plague. He looked at the phantoms with eyes like void haunting her mind after nightly hours. He saw the cycle of fear and hope and fear again. Her eyes looked around in frantic search of comfort, the dizzy breath being barely heard. Y/N was torn in half. One side was a country of abandoned campfire pits and half sliced pines and the other was a country of piled bones and wolf whistles.
Are you okay yet? His eyes looked for the answer.
Areyouokayyetareyouokayyetareyouokayyetare–
And all his thoughts were pushed aside when Y/N whimpered, softly leaning into him, her eyes focused on his big, plump lips. And in a moment, their foreheads touched. And the next moment– their lips were connected. Both of them closed their eyes, the feeling overwhelming their every sense. Grayson swore every time they kissed it felt like they were kissing for the first time.
Peace exploded inside of him– it felt like every cell in his body had finally found it's calm when the two of them shared their love like this. Just a bit more, he thought to himself. He thought that maybe kissing her would mend her wounds, make her feel like she belonged with him.
Make her feel the same way he felt.
Y/N reached around his neck, pulling on his messy strands lightly. He didn't find it unpleasant. At all. He smiled, biting her lower lip. Y/N let out a sound, smiling softly when he released it.
The two took a moment to catch their breath, their foreheads still connected and eyes closed.
"Mine," Grayson whispered.
"Yours," the girl responded.
And their lips were connected again and Grayson kissed her like he's won the war waging inside her head. Hard, hungry, victorious– breathless, like he spent the past years fighting and only stopped now to catch his breath. His hands grasp, at arms, at clothes, at hair, like Y/N was the spoils of the battle and he feared losing her to demons that were still snapping at their feet. He kissed like a man that was afraid of her fleeting, her abandoning him like everyone else does. He still wore the fears of a boy. Jumping at shadows, flinching at every raised voice.
Y/N disconnected their lips.
"It's okay. I will be yours." She croaked out, tears dry on her pink cheeks.
"Mine," Grayson agreed, smiling and looking up at his love.
Look, there’s many ways Grayson Dolan kisses her- but this is amnogst her favorites.
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ffxiv-ariavitali · 4 years ago
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#11: Gods
Or alternative writing prompt, ‘pretending’. (Shadowbringer spoilers below the cut.)
AO3 ver.
When the Crystal Exarch heard that their precious Warrior of Darkness had been pointedly missing as of late, he made it his own responsibility to search for her. He attempted to scry for her in his mirror, but there was an interference - something that was preventing him from pinpointing her exact location. Yet, knowing her habits, it was quite easy to hone in on the places she would be.
He found her sitting on the ledge atop a watchtower. According to a few citizens, it was the selfsame tower that she had found solace in when she was almost consumed by the Light. The place that she had sought refuge in the early bells of her awakening following her battle with Vauthry.
Aria was gazing upon the sunset sky. The chocolate locks of her hair swayed along the breeze and she brushed whichever strands had fallen over her face behind her ear. She had a small, yet forlorn, smile plastered on her face and her amethyst eyes were glazed with restrained tears. The Exarch never liked seeing her like this - not when he was still the boyish G’raha Tia when they were exploring the Crystal Tower and definitely not now. So, he heaved a breath, willing courage into his breast, and stepped forward.
“There you are, friend,” he called out to her, ensuring his footsteps were audible as he approached so as not to startle her. “Many people are worried that something had gone amiss. Pray tell - is everything alright?”
Aria peered over her shoulder, watching silently as the man advanced towards her and offered a welcoming smile that brought him enough comfort to sit at her side. When this was done, she turned her attention back to the sky, admiring the crimson, golden and tangerine hues - a respite that the Exarch knew was both desired and warranted.
“Indeed, all is well,” she answered in a soft voice. “I just needed to get away. I was beginning to feel a little too stressed, if that is even possible for someone such as I.”
The Exarch watched the space between her brows crinkle and felt the tension behind her forced giggle. He doubted that she even knew she was clenching her hands together on her lap.
“‘Tis well that you are getting the rest you deserve,” he responded encouragingly. “And I am honored you choose to venture to the First in order to do so.”
Aria inclined her head and allowed herself to lean back in her seat, her arms stretching behind her in order prop herself up. Once again, her gaze became distant as she lost herself in her thoughts and it worried the man. He was tempted to reach out towards her, for he wanted nothing more than to collect her in his arms and hold her close. He wanted to erase all her worries and fears, all the pain that she may be experiencing, but then again what could he do? After what he had done to himself in order to extend his lifespan, after what he had done to the Scions during such a delicate period of her life, what right does he have?
“You know, Raha, I think I would do well as an actress,” Aria mused aloud.
The Exarch jolted at the sound of his name - the only one to know who he really was in this world that made him feel, oh, so young again. It shamed him to feel such excitement as he struggled to calm himself and the melancholic tone of her voice aided in such.
“What makes you say that, my friend?”
Aria’s eyes lowered, her smile disappearing. “Because I have been pretending my whole life. Pretending that I do not mind … pretending that I belong.”
The Exarch’s eyes widened at her statement. He immediately wanted to retort, immediately wanted to tell her that she was wrong.
Then, he remembered what she had told him a long time ago:
“I lost my mother when I was young. She protected me from Garleans, sacrificed herself for her child. Ever since then, none of us had been the same. My father, my brother and I … we were turning a blind eye to our sorrow and acted as if we were alright. And that is what killed my father - he died of a broken heart.”
He understood then, exactly what it was that she meant. After all, bearing the power of the gods above in order to contend with the false manifestations of such; in order to combat against entities that only those blessed with great fortune have a chance of defying against, it contributes to the pedestal that they - those belonging of the mortal plane - have placed her in. How lonely must it be to be placed at the top? How much more must she assent with before the heavens above were satisfied?
“I … am tired of only being able to say ‘yes’,” Aria continued. “Tired of being idolized, being brought into a circle and seeing the timid faces of those that pretend to welcome me into their arms. Tired of seeing fearful expressions thinking I may harm them if they were to displease me and the smirks of individuals scheming to gather themselves in my good graces and use my name to gain political advantage.”
The Exarch inclined his head and allowed himself a small smile.
“Then, say ‘no’.”
Aria’s eyes widened and her head snapped in his direction. The small Hyuran woman saw the way his gaze was focused on the beautiful canvas that was the sky. She found his expression soft. Sympathizing. Understanding. 
Then, he turned to look at her.
“You are your own person, Aria. Your feelings are valid and those that truly know you will aid you in your endeavor to help or rest. Declining for the sake of your desires every now and then … it does not make you selfish. It makes you … well, just as anyone else. Alive.”
Aria gaped at the man in surprise before she grasped the meaning of his words. A warmth filled her chest and she couldn’t help but smile, a small blush coloring her cheeks as she placed her hand over where her heart would be. She relished in the soft beats, reminding herself that, indeed, she was one of the thousands upon thousands of souls living within this star.
“Yes … alive …” she whispered. “Quite true…”
The Exarch smiled and sensed the shift in her aether, from the quiet rumblings that surely would have lashed out if her emotions were to go out of control to the gentle kindness that brushed upon his skin like a lover’s caress. With this, he stood to his feet and paid no mind that she was still lost in her thoughts as she eyed the skies.
“Take the time you need, my friend. When you have finished, stop by the Ocular, yes? I will have a meal prepared for you.”
Aria hummed and nodded. “Sandwiches?”
“If that is what you wish, I will be more than happy to make them,” the Exarch answered with an amused laugh.
Aria hummed once more and went quiet. Thus did the Crystal Exarch departed, his worries soothed and replaced by an excitement to spend time with the one he dedicated his everything for.
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emilesmuseassemblya · 5 years ago
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These Lifetimes
A small gift I made @thefollowhollow / @southernsolutions ,  because it’s been our anniversary recently and I know its been struggling with its muses lately.  (It also has more of a ‘special message’ to it, but will send that to you in private!)
The cover art is by juuji (I wanted to link to the blog directly, but they're deactivated. :(),  levaas,  growlystars​  and  jantelaw.
The songs are in no particular order and new ones will be add in time, but this is them as they are now:
SIDE A
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground Dig them up; let's finish what we've started Dig them up, so nothing's left untouched
Flaws   Bastille
I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things No one knows about you (About you) About you (About you) And you're making the typical me Break my typical rules It's true, I'm a sucker for you 
Sucker  Boyce Avenue & Connie Talbot
'Cause you brought out the best of me A part of me I'd never seen You took my soul wiped it clean Our love was made for movie screens
All I want  Kodaline
You were the light that is blinding me You're the anchor that I tie to my brain 'Cause when it feels like I'm lost at sea You're the song that I sing again and again All the time, all the time I think of you all the time All the time, all the time I think of you all the time
The Anchor  Bastille
And take the pain Make it billboard big then swallow it for me Time-capsule for the future Trust me, that's what I will be Oh, the things that you do in the name of what you love You were doomed but just enough You were doomed but just enough
Church  Fall Out Boy & nothing, nowhere
She got blood cold as ice And a heart made of stone But she keeps me alive She's the beast in my bones She gets everything she wants When she gets me alone Like it's nothing She got two little horns And they get me a little bit
Horns  Bryce Fox
Crawling back to you, (do I wanna know?) If this feeling flows both ways (Sad to see you go) Was sorta hoping that you'd stay (Baby we both know) That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Do I Wanna Know?  Artic Monkeys
Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds? Is the only reason you're holding me tonight 'Cause we're scared to be lonely? Do we need somebody just to feel like we're alright? Is the only reason you're holding me tonight 'Cause we're scared to be lonely?
Scared to be Lonely  Boyce Avenue
You're never gonna love me, so what's the use? What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose? What's the point in saying you love me like a friend? What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?
Lies  MARINA
Still waiting, hands shaking Maybe the coast will clear But these voices, these strange noises They followed me in here
Panic Room  Au/Ra
If you'd been a dog They would have drowned you at birth Look into my mouth It's the only way you'll know I'm telling the truth
Knives Out  Radiohead
God that was strange to see you again Introduced by a friend of a friend Smiled and said "Yes I think we've met before" In that instant it started to pour, Captured a taxi despite all the rain We drove in silence across Pont Champlain And all of the time you thought I was sad I was trying to remember your name
Your Ex-Lover is Dead  Stars
SIDE B
One of us Won't last the night Between you and me it's no surprise. And there's two of us Both can't be right Neither will move till it's over.
Center of Attention  Guster
I've had enough of scheming and messing around with jerks My car is parked outside, I'm afraid it doesn't work I'm looking for a partner, someone who gets things fixed Ask yourself this question: do you want to be rich?
Opportunities  Pet Shop Boys
One for the money, two for the show I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go How did you get that way, I don't know You're screwed up and brilliant And look like a million dollar man So why is my heart broke?
Million Dollar Man  Lana Del Rey
I've found love in the strangest place Tied up and branded, locked in a cage I say I'm gonna stage a great escape Let loose and love all But baby we're out of place
Problems  Mother Mother
What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go?
Bury a Friend  Billie Eilish
Love runs it's course A mark on a scoreboard So I nail my heart Under the floorboards
Call my Name  the Unlikely Candidates
Give me tough love and a lesson to learn Your tough love is what I deserve Sweet tough love, you're my pretty good luck charm There's no place I'd rather be than in your arms
Tough Love  Avicii, Vargas & Lagola
It's not the way I planned it Don't you misunderstand it I'll be running, I'll be running into murky waters Your reputation's well known I should have left you alone I'll be running, I'll be running into murky waters It's not the way I planned it Please don't leave me here stranded
Murky Waters  Autoheart
It's a cold cold war Between the vain and valuable I can't take it I can't take it no more It's a cold cold war Ask myself what I want more Something lifeless or someone to adore I'm overzealous
Cold War  Foreign Figures
Some kill, some steal, some break your heart And you thought that I would let it go and let you walk Well, broken hearts break bones, so break up fast And I don't wanna let it go, so in my grave I'll rot
Revenge  XXXTENTACION
SIDE C
There's a snake on top of every ladder Who will tell you that he's your best friend Everyone important needs an adder But subtraction gets you in the end 
Snakes and Ladders   Men At Work
You turn the screws You tear down the bridge Flimsy as it is, it's business like You shake my hand You break up the band Flimsy as it is, it's open-mike punk rock Red white and blue (whoa)
You Turn the Screws  Cake
Pyramids of money silhouetting in your dreams Pyramids of money pirouetting in your dreams Pyramids of money that you'll probably never see, It's true
Pyramids  Man Man
Because you had to be a big shot, didn't you You had to open up your mouth You had to be a big shot, didn't you All your friends were so knocked out You had to have the last word, last night You know what everything's about You and to have a white hot spotlight You had to be a big shot last night
Big Spot  Billy Joel
They wanna get my Gold on the ceiling I ain’t blind Just a matter of time Before you steal it It’s alright Ain’t no guard in my house
Gold on the Ceiling  The Black Keys
You're a fraud and you know it But it's too good to throw it all away Anyone would do the same You've got 'em going And you're careful not to show it Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit It's like magic But it's always been a smoke and mirrors game Anyone would do the same
Smoke and Mirrors  Gotye 
You've got the money maker They showed the money to you You showed them what you can do Showed them your money Make you get out out out oh yeah You'll get out out out oh yeah
The Moneymaker  Rilo Kiley
As a kid, I was idolizing Millionaires and all the presidents
But I don't trust them anymore No way, no way, no, not again And I may never trust at all No way, no way, I'm over them
I Don’t trust U Anymore  Left at London
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btsgotnojamsstuff · 6 years ago
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Please Stay A Little Longer
Inspirations:
idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Ellish
Spring day and Run
Lorde’s Melodrama album
Don’t fall in love again by Ollie MN
The movie revolutionary road
Word Count: 1,793
Genre: Fluff, angst and slight smut I guess
Synopsis: Read it and you’ll find out
A sweet smell of intoxication traps the confines, perspiration fogging the now empty glasses. The liquid scorching your throat as your vision becomes blurred, unable to pinpoint your location. You'd been dragged along, unable to stand your ground. Neon lights glazed the room as you looked around for your friend, alarmed with a sense of claustrophobia as the sweats of the cold night danced around you. A clash of glass hit you, spillages of alcohol soaked in your dress. A muffled voice screams at you, voice a guttural rumble of apologies. You look up, actions flowing with a flurry of hard liquor, "I'll help clean you up if you want". He lets out a smirk, blush splurged on his cheeks.
Bathroom enclosed of hunger, a recollection of sloppy misconceptions. Mirrors holders of secrets, contained of devotion. Sideglances, hidden smirks, merciless to the liability.
“You know what looks so good right now?”  
Captivated by the unfamiliar look.
He moves forward, steps slow, too slow.  
“Your lips”
“And what do you wanna do with them?” Teasing.
"Kiss them" Hunger.
He moves forward, slowing at the head tilt, careful to merge the puzzle. A tainted connection. His lips bittersweet, glossed with craving. Tongue infused of bile and beer. Soft, fragile, eccentric. A fiery sting, an ache for longing, for more. Hands entangling with strands of hair, pulling, dragging. Pace quickening, he slams your back against the wall, hands roaming the curves and craters of your body. Skin sticky with mistakes, sheened with a fast beaten heart. Bathroom dripping with an echoing lust, soaked in suffocation. Movements agile with practice.
"I need to go" You mumble in-between kisses, swollen. You try to nudge him off, hands placed on his chest but he protests, body caving further into you "Jimin" You groan "I need to go" his lips let go of yours, leaving you cold, desperate. His head leans back just far enough to see your face, hands still hovering over your waist. "Please stay a little longer" breath drenched in sweat, ignited with burn. You nod a forced no, with a small smile spread on your lips.
Fascination. 
An incense of bread and coffee brews ingrained the café, fused with corner table writers and new come lovers. Pristine, sealed with a perfect package of incoherent. A disperse of absence, superiority looted at you,  
A push hit at your shoulder, spillages of coffee soaked into your dress.
"Oh, my bad" he says with a smirk
Jimin
"We should really stop meeting like this"
Slight nudges of feelings, untarnished to what’s to come.
Sat at a corner table, sondering those surrounding. A yellow flicker of morose, a unbeknowned greed to those around, deceptive to the truth. Jimin talked and talked, words trailing into deafening ears as you stared, silked with invasion. Gut feeling roaring, peeling at your instinct, a clear contrast to what you wanted to believe. This man was perfect. Picture perfect.
Ethereal.
"Stand there! It'll be a good picture".  
Skin a complexion of stars and universes bringing a sense of ataraxia, a milkyway of creamy texture, rich with grace. Imperfections soiled with elegance, a galaxy of antiquity. Hair oranged, the smell of syruped apricot, touched with midsummer golden tinges. Lips of translucent coral, embellished of pearled tints. Eyes of darkened burnt sienna splashed with dainty lines of green and black hues. Body an influx of sensuality, deception.
Buildings, pushed bricks, chipped, crumbled. Lay high, soaring above the clouds, tall with history to come. A blend of varsity and regiment braid the architecture, smoked of inhalation. Streets a plethora of strangers piled and packed with shards of isolation, embodiments of misery.  
He stood next to you, flushed and flattered, shuffling in the awkward silence that rained between you. Tension heavy, anticipation screaming at you. Raindrops a comforting shield, a third wheeler.
He lets out a small chuckle, a smile curving at the corners
“What’s so funny?”
Looking at you, he pulls you into his embrace, your lips collide, uninvited.
Blissful, loving.
"You know, Jimin, every time we touch I get this feeling"
"Really? What kind of feeling?"  
"Passion".
Backs molded into the creases of the bed sheets, warmth radiating from everlasting touches, close enough to feel, far away enough to desire. Eyes searching the darkness, taking in the silvered cracks. Lungs shallowed, desolate of thoughts.
"I don’t want to do this anymore."
Head turning, porcelain face shimmered with the glitter of the moonlight that rushed itself in.
"What?" Low, tired, hopeful.
“This isn't working"
"Baby, we've talked about this"
"No, Jimin. You don't understand.”  
“Then make me understand” Barren fell from his lips.
“Everything feels like too much yet not enough, all at once”
Silence sheathed your heart, love livid with treacherous tears.
He sits up, taking you in like a drug, addicted. "Hey, look at me" Hushed tone, barely heard, spoken with vacant. Faces burnished, faint, gauzy. “I’ll figure out a way, okay?" Genuine. Wavering. "Okay" What a dangerous lie.
Satined linings, streaks of blinding, feathered moonlight radiance. Eyes enclosed with gradual darkness.
“Jimin?” Faint, muted
“Mhm?”
"Look at me one last time”
Momentary. 
2 Years of pretend, biting at your scalp, nibbling at your paranoia. Used to the glamour of abandon, a mask worn out, overused. Killing time like a hunter, caliber held with white-knuckled palms, fingernails cut raw into your skin. Wound scavenged, tore of flesh.
Slow motion, watching our love. A cascade of resonating euphoria clutched with the intrusion of nostalgia. Waves a reflection of the foreign, exotic to the bellyache nesting at the pit of your stomach. Does he love me, or does he love the way I make him feel? Obsessed with the burning sensation, perfect, like a picture. Unmoving, one story to be told. Fingers intertwined of a blend no one else could concoct, dismissive apologies, authentic lies. Nudges of pain-stricken violence, detrimental, controlled. The line of his palms etching a reciprocation of unintended actions, living in a world alone of empty. Elongated longing, leashed by the neck, captured by the seconds that live in the minutes, knowledged of what tamed the rope.
Possessed with the notion of late night disappearances, adrift with the night. Trailed a path of sorrow, awake to the mystery he beholds. A blow to your trust, pricking at the rims of your tear ducks, realization composed itself into your heart. Apartment vacant of life, booming with the voice of an unrecognizable.  
Confusion. 
Veins clogged with hesitation screamed delusion. Skins sheened of lies, ached of hold. Voices set a light with fiery stings, ignited with a burn. Sweated with veins of clogged hesitation, dripped of suffocation. Exhilaration, perfumed with obsession. A momentary addiction, an echoing of the mind. Thoughts of you pushed aside, locked in a box of sly.
Moans muffled by the beats of his heart, loud, intrusive. Blinded to the footsteps slamming the stair case, ignorant to the stranger that cried in the door way.
Eyes dewed with c+old hydration, sogged in a melody of melancholy. Agonized, dejected. "It's not what it looks like" There's blood on his lies. Lungs feeling the fear carved in your skin, furious pants etched of an open wound. His pitying expression scowled your features, flaming speed fire questions, imploring to be answered. But this was taunting. He latched onto a strain of betrayal in his words, blithe with intention.
"Y/N please, listen " Cutthroat. "I’ve been wanting to die ever since it happened" Manipulation.
"Don't pull that bullshit on me Jimin!" Hurt.
"Do you love me? It's a simple question" Your tone is soft, delicate, a contrary to the moment before, presenting a perfect mix of pain and anguish. The words linger in the air, threatening to suffocate you with your own demise. Your breathing becomes ragged, untimely as the seconds strain to minutes. "Look." His breathing is bitter, sharp, cutting into you, tone harsh with violence, an attack at your presence. Yet it's graceful, carefully letting the sounds fall from his mouth with warmth as he looks over you, so arrogantly in love.  
"I said I loved you, but I lied"
There is truth behind every lie.
"What about us?" Your voice is laced with bittersweet, tongue infused with memories of bile and beer. "I hate us" His voice is croaky, worn out. A contradiction to his normal. Your mind scattered, fallen, agonizingly stricken. A normal to his contradiction.  You can hear the burden of his voice, absented to the end of reminiscence. An unsought destination. "It's you" hushed, silent. "It was always you" Dire, harrowing.
He slams your back against the wall, hands clawing at the curves and craters of your body. Eyebrows furrowing, taunting. "What are you going do to now, huh?" Are you going to hit me? To show me how much you love me?" A soothed weave of agitation choked your airways, squeezing, begging for an outlet. He raises his arm, movement agile with practice, hand roaring for a tainted connection. Irritation, distress, bliss. A hit, taken. Tone a spectrum of collapsed infatuation. "Loving you was suicide" Words spitting rouge. He steps backward, eyes focused on the wreckage marked in the lines of his hands. "You know, Jimin, every time we touch I get this feeling" Words put on a broken records replay.
"Really? What kind of feeling?"  
"Passion". 
Roadways silenced with a paradoxical essence, losing feeling, lost touch. You run the pavement, an excruciating irritation of loss of control tugged with resentment at your heart, string assaulted of pulling and clasps. A quiet fury overtaken of bloodshed, feet rushed unruly to an unplanned target.
Street lone, a luminescence of limelights jaded of iridescence. Brisk winds of barren, moments of just before played nonchalantly. The overnight rush ceased as your steps weighted down on the pavement as you stood side by side with a stranger you once knew so well. Or so you thought you knew.
“What do you want, Jimin?!” Feral, gasping
“Can’t you see that you’ve done enough already” Words spoke justice.
“Please, y/n, let me-”
“Shut up” Blaring, choked with grief. An ataraxy of dented retinas, pupils soothed of woven wreckage.
A struggle of unwilling stitches, imploring to be cut, to be let loose.
“I need to go”
A hollowed carcass, taken, robbed of ticking, a threatening of lost moments. Worn out, numbed feeling, cold of touch. Inevitable pulled the hems, weaving a sow of the end. Fabricated construction of pinpricked needles throb at your heart, screaming. An awaiting of slimed down patience, serenity. Death was nothing but a captivating fear of a seamless gown. The days of flower blossoms have fallen and gone. He looks at you, lips laced with bittersweet, aching for longing, tongue infused with memories of bile and beer.
"Please stay a little longer"  
Broken.
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atruththatyoudeny · 7 years ago
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MONTHLY READS | March
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Thank you so much to all the amazing authors for sharing your stories with us! »Top 5 stories + 15 more under the cut «
Even in August
by delsicle for Alex Louis Fic Exchange | World War II | childhood friends | friends to lovers | hurt/comfort | PTSD | period-typical homophobia | 31k Alex and Louis fell in love in an apple orchard. The next few years are not so kind.
I’ll Fly Away
by juliusschmidt | Coming Out | friends to lovers | childhood friends | fluff | angst | 122k Harry and Louis grew up together in Lake County, Harry with his mom and stepdad in a tiny cottage on Edward’s Lake and Louis in his family’s farmhouse a few minutes down the road. But after high school, Louis stuck around and Harry did not; Harry went to Chicago where he found a boyfriend and couple of college degrees. Six years later, Harry ends up back in Edwardsville for the summer and he and Louis fall into old patterns and discover new ones. ft. One Direction, the local boyband; Horan’s Bar and Grill; families, most especially children and babies; Officer Liam Payne; many local festivals and fireworks displays; and Anne Cox, PFLAG President.
The beauty of the blistering sky
by kiwikero for H+L Mood Board Prompt Challenge | post-apocalypse | dystopia | strangers to lovers | angst | hurt/comfort | happy ending | 14k When the world goes to shit, it's all Louis can do to keep himself alive. That isn't enough, though, when his mother and siblings are back in their hometown, and he has no way of getting in touch with them. He plans to make the journey alone, but a twist of fate brings him Harry, a stranger with a kind smile in a world that's forgotten what kindness means. Together they set out for Doncaster, and along the way Louis finds out that, with people like Harry around, there might be hope for the world yet.
If I Was Stronger
by haloeverlasting for LiteLarry Quote Challenge | Girl Direction | coming out | friends to lovers | breaking up | getting back together | depression | 50k Harry’s fingers find her lips, in a silent moment of wonder and reverie, and her knees wobble as she’s assaulted with the image of Louis, right here in her bedroom, with her light blue eyes, and her gentle hands, and Harry feels an overwhelming rush and longing to reach out and touch. She imagines Louis stepping towards her slowly, treading lightly with her fingers on her cheek, where Harry’s dimple may appear, and whether Harry would like it if Louis’ thin lips found hers. With her eyes closed, she imagines Louis standing very close, and she finds the wait to be agonizing, but when she goes to close the distance, there’s no one besides herself in her bedroom. Harry lets out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. She feels tingly, and hot, and absolutely terrified, but the next time she looks in the mirror, she sees someone she knows intimately. She sees that girl with bright green eyes, and unruly hair, and parted lips, and she loses her breath a moment, because while she knows that girl inside and out, she hasn’t been honest with herself until… well, now. “I might be gay.” A Girl Direction AU where Louis holds universes inside her, and Harry just wants to hold her.
Buried Like Treasure
by QuickedWeen for Marcel Fic Exchange | royalty | thief Louis | avalanches | strangers to lovers | light dom/sub | 40k Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.
Something in the way
by momentofclarity  | childhood friends | first love | pining | heartbreak | soul-searching | falling in love | homophobic language | 90's AU | Hope Floats AU| 40k Then he looks up and is met by the greenest eyes on this side of the state border. Harry Styles grins wildly at him, dimple deep in his cheek as his eyes sparkle. Hope Floats 90’s AU. When Louis Tomlinson finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, he packs up his life and takes his daughter back to his childhood hometown to start anew. The problem is—he’s not so sure he’s moving forwards rather than backwards. What he finds in the small Texas town is a whole lot of memories, people who think they still know him and a man who’s spent the past decade waiting for his return.
Save The Last Dance For Me
by 1Diamondinthesun for Marcel Fic Exchange | ballet | mutual pining | 50k Wealthy Marcel Styles is an avid supporter of the Royal Ballet Company. Louis Tomlinson is the new principal dancer with a humble past and a dream. When they collide, sparks fly. But is it enough to overcome their different social classes and prove that love is all you need?
Mark my word (we gon' be alright)
by harioandlouigi for 1D Hiatus Prompt Meme | a/b/o | pack dynamics | mpreg | 35k He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after. Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that." Or, an A/B/O AU featuring an oblivious Harry as the pack leader, a pining Louis as his second-in-command, and an entourage of friends and family who are a little too good at keeping their mouths shut.
Honey, make this easy
by sweetums | grief/mourning | kid fic | angst | pining | 25k He knows the site that Jemma used to advertise for a nanny when she was preparing to return to work from maternity leave so he quickly finds it on Google. The loaded page claims to be “your compass in the complex sea of childcare” and Harry thinks, great, since he needs all the guidance he can get. - AU; Harry’s sister recently passed away, leaving him with temporary custody of her daughter. Needing help, he hires Louis as a nanny and the boy turns out to be help in more ways than he expected.
I Will Care For You
by lululawrence for HL A/B/O Fic Exchange | a/b/o | friends to lovers | accidental bonding | meet-cute | 15k “Afton, I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” Harry whined. “I’m going to adopt her, but I have no idea how to take care of her when I’m here as much as I am and I can’t really afford to raise a child on fewer hours. My family can only help so much, but I’ve already been relying on them too much this past week.” “Oh, Harry. Just get yourself a nanny.” Afton threw out the suggestion and Harry sat up. How had he not considered that? “How much do you need to pay a nanny? If I cut some expenses, I might be able to handle that, if they lived in. Would they expect more of me, since I’m an unmated alpha? Like, they wouldn’t think I’m some dodgy alpha looking for a nanny to become a bondmate or anything, would they?” “Shut up, Harry,” Afton demanded. If she wasn’t a beta, Harry almost felt like she might have put some alpha timbre into her voice with that line. Either way, he did shut up to listen to her as she continued. “Reach out to Louis. He’s our usual sitter and he’s lovely. He’s come on some hard times, too, so you could probably convince him to work for you for cheap, especially if you’re having him live with you too.”
Waiting For Daylight
by dinosaursmate | parallel universes | 12k “The number you have dialled has not been recognised. Please check and try again.” Louis made his way into the kitchen and sighed, throwing his phone down onto the table and frowning at it. “What’s the matter, honey?” his mum asked. “I… I don’t know. My phone seems to have erased every last trace of Harry.” “Ooh, who’s Harry?” she cooed. “A boy?” Louis rolled his eyes. “Harry, Mum. Styles. From number thirty-eight.” “Oh, sweetheart. The Waynes live at number thirty-eight. Shall I pour you some tea?” - Louis wakes up to find that his best friend has never existed. In a quest to find him, Louis is sent to several parallel universes. He can't seem to find his own Harry, and he doesn't understand why every alternate Harry wants to kiss him.
Infinitely all for me
by swallowsmateforlife for HL Spring Exchange | a/b/o | arranged marriage | 10k The Alpha Louis' been betrothed to since he was 14 has finally come of age and Louis' been delivered to his home. or: the one where they figure it all out.
Smaller Than Me
by checkthemargins | implied off-stage rape/non-con | hurt/comfort | 23k Harry's just finished his first year of uni on his way to becoming Dr. Harry Styles, Neurosurgeon. He's young, he has endless potential, three amazing best mates, a new love and the world at his fingertips. The fact that his new boyfriend may or may not be a sex-worker, of course, throws a wrench into the works. But it's not true. Really. Probably. It most definitely might not be entirely true. And that's all Harry needs to know.
I Sail With You
by AFangirlFantasy | royalty | pirates | childhood friends | a/b/o | arranged marriage | 35k Against his wishes, Omega Prince Harry Styles is arranged to mate with someone he doesn’t love, much less knows. Though he pleaded to his parents incessantly, they not only refuse to comply but force him to depart on a ship days later. Harry prays for fate to step in, to change what’s to come, however, the answer he is given is not exactly in the form he had hoped. Enter Will Tommo – deadliest pirate captain of all seven seas.
Stars Will Align For Us
by 2tiedships2 | a/b/o | strangers to lovers | fluff | 15k "The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen. Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?" "Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move." Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying. Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.
Anybody Have a Map?
by 2tiedships2 | a/b/o | fluff | pining | friends to lovers | 13k Niall rolled his eyes, “You two are weird. Fine. Me and Liam will go by ourselves. Party poopers.” Niall got up to get ready but first turned to Louis and asked, “Lou are you still kicking me out next week? I’ll see if I can make plans with Liam.” Louis cringed. Because of course Niall would say something in front of Harry. “Yeah,” Louis stated. “That’s still the plan. Now run along my little Irish idiot.” Niall skipped the ten feet to his bedroom to get ready. Louis steeled himself for Harry’s inquiry. “What’s next week, Lou?” Harry looked down at him with a confused look in his eyes. Or the one where Louis met Harry in NYC where they bonded as fellow Brits in the large city. Years later, with Louis' upcoming heat, maybe it's time for their friendship to become something more.
Can We Talk for a Moment?
by lululawrence for 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names Challenge | a/b/o | friends to lovers | accidental bonding |  15k It was widely known that alphas were never as common as betas or omegas. It is believed the reasoning for that was safety for their packs. Each pack could only have one Alpha, and in order to keep order and make sure there was no mistaking who was in power, once the successor had been named, other alphas would be forced out of the pack. The populations grew, as was to be expected with time and all manner of developments, and while the packs got larger and joined together, the number of alphas never increased. Harry didn’t care for the reasons behind the phenomenon. In the end, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was he was the only alpha within about a thousand mile radius, and he was a complete and total disappointment. Or the one where Harry is a shy, nerdy alpha, Louis is a loud omega punk, and there's more to both of them than their reputations.
Like Gold
by ishiplouis for Royalty Direction Fic Exchange | hate to love | enemies to lovers | royalty | coming out | 17k Harry has been an Adviser for Royal Families since he was 24. From French to Russian families, he has travelled the world and handled difficult situations. That’s, at least, what he believed until a week into his new position as Adviser for his Royal Highness Prince Louis Tomlinson. Royal AU where Harry is Prince Louis’ Adviser, and Louis is anything but helpful.
You Smell Like
by mystic_believexx | WIP | werewolves | pack dynamics | soulmates | friends to lovers | minor injuries | minor character death | 142k For her part, Jay took everything in her stride, barely batting an eyelid when Louis came into the kitchen the night Harry left and said, “I seem to have accidentally become the pack’s Alpha”. Ever since Harry left town, Louis’ found himself with the role of pack Alpha, despite being human. So he can’t wait to hand over the reins when Harry returns. Except, it’s not quite that simple… OR The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!
Out of the Wild
by jaerie for 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names Challenge | a/b/o | werewolves | implied alpha abuse | 21k Louis has spent most of his life as a wolf in the wild, Harry has spent most of his life as a human in the city. Their worlds collide during the audition process for the hottest new singing competition. What happens next should have expected.
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typologyindex · 7 years ago
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enneagram as The Eagles songs
type 1: HOLE IN THE WORLD
there's a hole in the world tonight don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow they say that anger is just love disappointed they say that love is just a state of mind, but all this fighting over who will be anointed oh, how can people be so blind?
type 2: VICTIM OF LOVE
i heard about you and that man there's just one thing I don't understand you say he's a liar and he put out your fire how come you still got his gun in your hand? victim of love, i see your broken heart you got your stories to tell victim of love, it's such an easy part and you know how to play it so well
type 3: LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
they knew all the right people, they took all the right pills they threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills there were lines on the mirror, lines on her face she pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race
type 4: THE SAD CAFE
out of the silver light, the past came softly calling and i remember the times we spent inside the Sad Cafe oh, it seemed like a holy place, protected by amazing grace and we would sing right out loud, the things we could not say we thought we could change this world with words like "love" and "freedom" we were part of the lonely crowd inside the Sad Cafe
type 5: YOU NEVER CRY LIKE A LOVER
you never cry like a lover should sigh when it feels real good or see the sky through the stone and wood you never cry like a lover i thought i saw somebody i loved sleeping deep inside you if i could catch you in an unguarded moment i'd stay right here beside you
type 6: LEARN TO BE STILL
there are so many contradictions in all these messages we send we keep asking, how do I get out of here? where do I fit in? though the world is torn and shaken even if your heart is breakin it's waiting for you to awaken and someday you will  learn to be still
type 7: THE LAST RESORT
down in the crowded bars, out for a good time, can't wait to tell you all what it's like up there and they called it paradise i don't know why somebody made the mountains low while the town got high you call someplace paradise, kiss it goodbye
type 8: GET OVER IT
you don't want to work, you want to live like a king but the big bad world doesn't owe you a thing get over it get over it if you don't want to play, then you might as well split get over it, get over it it's like going to confession every time i hear you speak you're makin the most of your losing streak some call it sick, but i call it weak
type 9: PEACEFUL EASY FEELING
i like the way your sparkling earrings lay against your skin so brown. and i wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight with a billion stars all around. cause i got a peaceful easy feeling and i know you won't let me down 'cause i'm already standing on the ground.
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swanqueeneverafter · 7 years ago
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10. Skin Deep, Pt.3
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Storybrooke. (At the sheriff’s department, Emma has Mr. Gold's stolen items strewn all over her desk.) Emma: “You're welcome. You're right. Your man Moe ripped you off. It was all still at his place.” Mr. Gold: “And the man himself?” Emma: (Sits at her desk:) “Closing in on him.” Mr. Gold: “So, job well half-done, then.” Emma: “In less than a day, I got it all back. Is something wrong?” Mr. Gold: “You've recovered nothing. There's something missing.” (Walks away.) Emma: “I'll get it when I find him.” Mr. Gold: “Not if I find him first.” The Enchanted Forest. Rumplestiltskin's castle. Past. Belle: “Why did you want me here?” Rumplestiltskin: “The place was filthy.” Belle: “I think you were lonely. I mean, any man would be lonely.” Rumplestiltskin: “I'm not a man.” Belle: “So, I've had a couple of months to look around, you know. And, uh, upstairs, there's, uh, clothing, small, as if for a-a child? Was it yours or... or was there a son?” Rumplestiltskin: “There was. There was a son. I lost him, as I did his mother.” Belle: “I'm... I'm sorry. So you... you were a man, once. An ordinary man. If I'm never going to know another person in my whole life, can't I at least know you?” Rumplestiltskin: “Perhaps... perhaps you just want to learn the monster's weaknesses! Nyah, Nyah! Nuh, nuh nuh!” Belle: (Smiles:) “You're not a monster. You think you're uglier than you are, that's why you cover all the mirrors up, isn't it? Hmm?” (There is a banging at the door, Rumplestiltskin opens it. Gaston is standing outside.)
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Gaston: “I am Sir Gaston, and you, beast, have taken--” (Rumplestiltskin promptly clicks his fingers and turns him into a rose and closes the door.) Belle: (Walks over to him:) “Who was that?” Rumplestiltskin: “Just an old woman selling flowers. (He extends the rose to her:) Here. If you'll have it.” Belle: “Why, thank you.” (They bow to each other playfully. She crosses the room. As the conversation goes on, she takes a pair of scissors to trims the rose, put it in the vase, and sets it on the table.) Rumplestiltskin: “You had a life, Belle. Before... this—friends... family. What made you choose to come here with me?” (Takes a seat.) Belle: “Heroism. Sacrifice. You know, there aren't a lot of opportunities in this land for women to show what they can do. To see the world, to be heroes. So, when you arrived, that was my chance. I always wanted to be brave. I figured, do the brave thing, and bravery would follow.” Rumplestiltskin: “And is it everything you hoped?” Belle: “Well, uh... I did want to see the world. That part didn't really work out. But, I did save my village.” Rumplestiltskin: “And what about your... betrothed?” Belle: “It was an arranged marriage. Honestly, I never really cared much for Gaston. To me love is—love is layered. Love is a mystery to be uncovered. Yeah, I could never truly give my heart to someone as superficial as he. But, um, you were going to tell me about your son.” Rumplestiltskin: “I'll tell you what... I'll make you a deal. Go to town, and fetch me some straw. When you return, I'll share my tale.” Belle: “But... town? You trust me to come back?” Rumplestiltskin: “Oh, no. I expect I'll never see you again.”
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Storybrooke. The Rabbit Hole. (For their girls' night out, Ashley, Mary Margaret and Ruby are seated at a bar table drinking. Ashley and Ruby down shots.) Mary Margaret: “Pace yourself, Ashley.” Ashley: “I am! This is my first night out since I've had the baby, I am making up for lost time.” (She downs another shot.) Ruby: (Looking at some guys across the bar:) “Ooh, Ash, check out those guys.” Ashley: “Oh, honey, I'm still with Sean.” Ruby: “You're not married, and he's not here.” Ashley: “He's working.” Ruby: “He's always working. Have fun moping!” (She takes her drink and walks over to the guys.) Ashley: “She's right. He is always working. I thought love would be different.” Mary Margaret: “Me, too.” (She sips her drink.) Storybrooke. The Dark Star Pharmacy. (David picks out two Valentine's Day cards and gets on line behind Mr. Gold. At the counter, Mr. Clark is helping the customer in front of Mr. Gold ring up some items. The older man notices him and starts a conversation.) Mr. Gold: “Two Valentine's. Sounds like a complicated life.” David: “Oh, no, I-I just couldn't decide.” Mr. Gold: “These are both for the same woman?” David: “Well; they're both so... us.” Mr. Gold:“ I see. Well, you fortunate you have someone that loves you.” David: “I really am.” Mr. Gold: “Love. It's like a delicate flame. And once it's gone, it's gone forever. Best of luck to you.” (Mr. Gold exits.) David: “Thanks. (Mr. Clark sneezes:) Bless you.” Mr. Clark: “Thanks.” Storybrooke. (On the streets, Mr. Gold is driving Moe's truck. In the back, Moe is gagged and tied up. They arrive at an abandoned cabin in the woods. Mr. Gold, with a pistol, opens the back of the truck and Moe slowly climbs out, tied up.) Mr. Gold: “Walk. (They entering the cabin. Moe turns and Mr. Gold cocks his gun, pointing it at him:) Now, you see, here's the thing—I don't normally let people get away.” (He closes the door.)
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(The Enchanted Forest. On the road towards town to fetch straw, Belle walks there with an empty basket. A carriage approaches and stops next to her. The Evil Queen peers out to see Belle.) Evil Queen: “Did my carriage splash you?” Belle: “Oh. Oh, no, I'm- I'm fine.” Evil Queen: “You know, I'm tired of riding. Let me stretch my legs and walk with you for a spell. (The scene shifts to the Queen and Belle walking along the road as the carriage follows them from behind:) You carry very little.” Belle: “I don't want to be slowed down.” Evil Queen: “Mm. You're running from someone. (Laughs:) The question is, master or lover? (Belle silently looks at her:) Oh. Master and lover.” Belle: “I might take a rest. You—you go on ahead.” Evil Queen: (Wraps her arm around Belle and they continue walking:) “So, if I'm right, you love your employer, but you're leaving him.” Belle: “I might love him. I mean, I could, except... something evil has taken root in him.” Evil Queen: “Sounds like a curse to me, and all curses can be broken. A kiss born of true love would do it. (Belle stops. The Queen laughs and they continue walking:) Oh, child, no. I would never suggest a young woman to kiss a man who held her captive. What kind of message is that?” Belle: “Right.” Evil Queen: “Besides, if he loves you, he would've let you go. And if he doesn't love you, well then, the kiss won't even work.” Belle: “Well, he did let me go.” Evil Queen: “Yes, but no kiss happened.” Belle: “And a kiss—a kiss is enough? He'd be a man again?” Evil Queen: “An ordinary man. True love's kiss will break any curse.” The Enchanted Forest. (From a window inside his castle, Rumplestiltskin is frantically looking out the window for Belle. Once he spots her returning, he rushes down the stairs to feign busily spinning at the wheel. Belle arrives back with a full basket of straw.) Rumplestiltskin: “Oh, you're back already. Good. Good thing. I'm, uh... I'm nearly out of straw.” Belle: “Hmm. (She crosses to the wheel and puts down her basket:) Come on, you're happy that I'm back.” Rumplestiltskin: “I'm not unhappy.” Belle: (Laughs:) “And, you promised me a story.” Rumplestiltskin: “Did I?” Belle: “Mm-hmm. (She removes the thread from his hand and sits down beside him:) Tell me about your son.” Rumplestiltskin: (Hesitantly:) “Uh... I lost him. There's nothing more to tell, really.” Belle: “And since then, you've loved no one, and no one has loved you.” Rumplestiltskin: (Leans toward her:) “Why did you come back?” Belle: "I wasn't going to. But then... something changed my mind.” (They kiss briefly.)
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Rumplestiltskin: “Oh. (His face begins changing as the greenness of his skin starts to melt away. He keeps his eyes closed, unsure:) What's happening?” Belle: “Kiss me again, it's working.” Rumplestiltskin: (In a human voice:) “What is?” Belle: “Any curse can be broken.” Rumplestiltskin: (Stands up abruptly in anger:) “Who told you that!? Who knows that!?” Belle: “I-I-I don't know. She, uh... she—she--” Rumplestiltskin: “She. (He crosses the room and uncovers a mirror, speaking into it:) You... evil... soul. This was you! You turned her against me! You think you can make me weak? You think you can defeat me!?” Belle: “Who are you talking to?” Rumplestiltskin: “The Queen! Your friend, the Queen! How did she get to you?” Belle: “The-the Queen? I don't--” Rumplestiltskin: “I knew this was a trick. I knew you could never care for me. Oh, yeah. You're working for her. Or is this all you? Is this you being the hero and killing the beast?” Belle: “It was working--” Rumplestiltskin: “Shut up!” Belle: “This means it's true love!” Rumplestiltskin: “Shut the hell up!” Belle: “Why won't you believe me?!” Rumplestiltskin: “Because no one-- (He furiously shakes her:) No one could ever, ever love me!” (The scene shifts to him throwing her into the cell. Belle lands on the hard ground, confused, as he slams the door shut.)
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Text
Jaymes Young Feel Something Sentence Starters under the cut
Tied Down
“These days the lovers trade their places, dancing all around each other’s chairs.”
“I can see the numbness on their faces.”
“Jealousy fills up their hearts in pairs.”
“So please, could I be selfish with your body? ‘Cause I don’t think I could share you with nobody.”
“Oh, when I have you I’m gonna brand you with my lips and all of the world will know that you’re mine now.”
“My love has the power to keep you tied down.”
“Late at night, you’ll hear the screaming echo, but we all pretend we never heard the cries in the daytime.”
“Don’t you worry, my touch won’t leave you hollow.”
“I’m never gonna let you change your mind.”
“Don’t be afraid to leave your mark.”
“Give me the scars to remind me just how good you are.”
“If your faith turns into doubt, pull me closer. I know that it’s enough to keep you tied down.”
Stoned On You
“We’re making this part of us together.”
“You’re taking my mind off of the pressure.”
“I’m gone with the wind, high like a feather.”
“Your love is like codeine.”
“I get stoned on you.”
“Nothing else burns like you.”
“There’s something about the way you shiver, even in the morning.”
“I’ll take a bullet for you right now just to keep you in my lungs.”
“My fingertips on your lips. Racing hands down your hips.”
Don’t You Know
“I’ve been walking in the moonlight looking for you. I got nobody but my shadow to get me through so put your lips on my scars and teach me to love, give my slow heart the rhythm of a blood drum.”
“I don’t want you to go, I need more of you in my life. Nobody should be alone, please let me take you home tonight.”
“Don’t you know I want you so bad and every night I call for you?”
“I’ll do anything to touch you.”
“Don’t you know that I’m going mad and in the moment I would fall for you?”
“I’ll do anything to love you.”
“Take a look at these mountains I’m moving for you.”
“I’m gonna light the dynamite, I’m gonna break through.”
“I know all the ways to appreciate your design.”
“I’m a damn good lover, shivers up your spine.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Nobody should be alone.”
“Please, let me take you home tonight.”
“Every night I call for you.”
“I’m going mad.”
“Don’t make me beg you, please.”
“I know you were meant for me.”
Stone
“Your father/mother came and went like the ocean’s tide, and the day he/she left, he/she never said goodbye.”
“Your mother/father started drinking like the whole world died.”
“You’ve been waiting for a miracle all your life.”
“If the fires don’t burn it down, the rains will wash it away.”
“If you’re looking for solid ground, a stone will never break.”
“Give me all your pain, and love will set you free.”
“Give me all your shame, put all your weight on me and I’ll be the stone that you need me to be.”
“You spend your nights looking at the stars, thinking your life would be better on mars.”
“Checking your pulse just to feel it beat, looking for a stone to keep the peace.”
“Put all your weight on me and I’ll be the stone that you need me to be.”
“A stone will never break.”
“I’ll be the stone that you need me to be.”
Sugar Burn
“You call me out of my slumber like a ghost laying down in my bed.”
“Fill my room with lightning and thunder, make your veins run hard on my chest.”
“In the morning when the sun hits my eyes, the memories of you will disappear into the night.”
“When you rolled, your heart is hardly beating.”
“It’s hard to know when you’re young.”
“I’ll never forget loving you sweetly.”
“Your sugar still burns on my tongue.”
“Your love still hurts.”
“I tried so hard to escape you, but I found out there’s nowhere to run.”
“It’s too easy to love and to hate you.”
“My healing has only begun.”
“Every night, you trick me into your arms, but you never stay when I awake.”
“Every time I feel your thoughts alone, it’s such a shame you were gone so long.”
Feel Something
“I don’t care if it hurts.”
“I’ll pay my weight in blood to feel my nerves wake up.”
“Love me now or let me go.”
“Let me feel these highs and lows before the doors to my heart close.”
“Touch me, someone. I’m too young to feel so numb.”
“You could be the one to make me feel something.”
“Show me that you’re human.”
“Make me feel something.”
“I never thought I’d miss the bittersweet.”
“I gave those years away and lost my sense of taste.”
“All of your loves eventually fade and leave you alone in the bed you made.”
“All of the colors that bleed to gray leave nothing.”
“I’m too young to feel so numb...”
“So give me just enough to make me feel something.”
“If you’re gonna stay, then stay.”
“If you’re gonna go, make sure that you hurt me just enough to make me feel something.”
Black Magic
“I let you in my brain.”
“I used to doubt, now I believe.”
“I let you ease my pain.”
“Using your black magic on me.”
“I don’t know how you do what you do.”
“You do it so good to me.”
“My favorite pill when I’m getting so blue.”
“Your taste is all I need.”
“Baby, you’re my cocaine, I can’t stop sniffing.”
“You move so good.”
“The moment I get you in my veins, I’m taking over the world.”
“You make it so damn good to be bad.”
“You’re the best I ever had.”
“You’re cold-blooded and I love it, yeah.”
“Baby, you’re my ocean. I can’t stop swimming.”
“The salt of your waves, and I can’t stop sipping.”
“The moment I get you all alone...”
“When I was young, my father/mother warned me about boys/girls like you.”
“When my heart is numb and I’m feeling lonely, I let you through.”
“You fixed my blues up.”
We Won��t
“Don’t go to war for me.”
“I’m not the one that you want me to be.”
“Don’t call me up at two AM tonight.”
“It feels so damn good, and I wish you would...”
“Are we just gonna stay like this forever? Floating?”
“I’m serious. My heart is furious.”
“I’m so confused when we’re together.”
“Feels like I’m choking these emotions.”
“I know I’m gonna let you down...”
“I know I’m gonna let you down, so don’t hold your breath now.”
“Bittersweet in your mouth.”
“Can you stomach the doubt?”
“I wish I could say what I’m feeling.”
“I’m scared to let these words out.”
“Don’t cry no more for me.”
“Don’t waste your time convincing me that maybe someday we’ll get it right.”
“We never could. I wish that we would.”
“We never could; I wish we would, but we won’t, so just don’t.”
“We won’t, so just don’t.”
“I can’t trust you.”
“I can’t trust you, baby, cause I don’t want to.”
“This isn’t fun anymore.”
“Never hurt like this before.”
“Broken dishes on the floor...”
“Hearts exploding.”
“Tell me why I’m still holding onto the love that we’ve been breaking?”
“Damn, I thought we’d make it.”
“No other way to say it.”
“Don’t.”
“We burn faster than a cigarette in my mouth.”
“I know it hurts, but baby, we can’t stop now.”
“We can’t stop now.”
Naked
“You’re the only one who knows my demons.”
“Only your eyes have seen my skeletons.”
“Wearing all my scars for you to feel now.”
“Smoothing them over with your loving hands.”
“There are no secrets that I keep from you.”
“There are no lies upon my tongue.”
“For you, I am naked. There’s nothing to hide inside the dark.”
“My ego is wasted, as I let you open up my heart.”
“Now’s the only time to let my dark side show.”
“You understand that I’m only flesh and bones.”
“You help me forget the shape like my favorite chemicals, straight through my body and let you see my soul.”
“I forget my pride, don’t care about my place when we’re alone.”
“Oh, conscience, this time don’t get in my way.”
“There’s nothing to hide inside the dark.”
“Open up my heart.”
Two People
“I never want to be second best.”
“If there’s more to your story, then maybe I don’t want to know the rest.”
“Just keep me in the dark.”
“Let’s see how long I can hold my breath before I turn blue.”
“How am I supposed to touch you?”
“How am I supposed to touch you when somebody touching you is playing in my head.”
“I don’t ever want to think again if it feels like this.”
“Could you love two people at the same time?”
“Could you live with yourself telling two lies?”
“Out of my sight, out of my mind.”
“I don’t wanna know about it this time.”
“I gotta be the only one.”
“You put God in a choke-hold.”
“baby, when you think you’re having fun...”
“It’s not so easy taking back those things you done.”
“Somebody touching you is playing in my head...”
“Too many lovers in this world.”
“You’re gonna lose both.”
“Too many boys and girls.”
“You know you’re gonna lose both.”
I’ll Be Good
“I thought I saw the devil this morning.”
“Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue.”
“With the warning to help me see myself clearer.”
“I never meant to start a fire.”
“I never meant to make you bleed.”
“I’ll be a better man/woman/person today.”
“I’ll be good, I’ll be good.”
“I’ll love the world like I should.”
“Yeah, I’ll be good.”
“I’ll be good for all of the times that I never could.”
“My past has tasted bitter for years now.”
“I wield an iron fist, grace is just weakness or so I’ve been told.”
“I’ve been cold, I’ve been merciless.”
“The blood on my hands scares me to death.”
“Maybe I’m waking up today.”
“For all of the light that I shut out, for all of the innocent things that I’ve doubt.”
“For all the bruises I’ve caused, and the tears. For all of the things that I’ve done all these years...”
“For all of the sparks that I’ve stomped out.”
“For all of the perfect things that I doubt.”
“For all the times I never could...”
Infinity
“Baby, this love, I’ll never let it die.”
“Can’t be touched by no one. I’d like to see him/her try.”
“I’d like to see him/her try.”
“I’m a mad man/woman for your touch.”
“Boy/Girl, I’ve lost control.”
“I’m gonna make this last forever.”
“Don’t tell me it’s impossible.”
“I love you for infinity.”
“Oh darling, my soul. You know it aches for yours.”
“You’ve been filling this hole since you were born.”
“You’re the reason I believe in fate.”
“You’re my paradise.”
“I’ll do anything to be your love, or be your sacrifice.”
“Meet me at the bottom of the ocean where the time is frozen.”
“Love isn’t random, we are chosen.”
“We could wear the same crown.”
“Keep slowing your heart down.”
“We are the gods now.”
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esperanzacboronial · 7 years ago
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I been running a long, long time Trying to flee that life But I can't seem to leave it behind Wanna visit the windswept shores of a time before When the moon and the stars were aligned
Sons of Witches. a Huey/Elmer playlist
Listen Here 
Tracklist with relevant lyric excerpts + a few explanations under the cut, so if you’re on mobile it’s gonna be long, sorry. 
1. We Intertwined. The Hush Sound (Reminiscence about Elmer and Monica from the perspective of older Huey)
Like vines we intertwined / Carelessly growing up and growing old Frantically searching for her / Inside my head she's somewhere
2. Ghosts. Laura Marling (1700s era Huey opening up - in this case let’s pretend ‘ghosts’ refer to his village rather than to past lovers.)
Opened up his little heart / Unlocked the lock that kept it dark / And read a written warning / Saying 'I'm still mourning / Over ghosts that broke my heart before I met you' Lover, please do not fall to your knees / It's not like I believe in everlasting love
3. Feelgood Inc. Gorillaz 
You got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style / A melancholy town where we never smile Take it all in on your stride / It is sinking, falling down / Love forever, love is free / Let's turn forever, you and me
4. Which Witch. Florence + the Machine (this is The post-1711 Humer song)
I'm miles away, he's on my mind / I'm getting tired of crawling all the way I'm not beat up by this yet / You can't tell me to regret / Been in the dark since the day we met / Fire, help me to forget While tried and tested, it's mine / And it's my whole heart / Trying to bleach it out / And it's my whole heart / Burned but not buried this time
5. Any Other World. Mika 
In any other world / You could tell the difference / And let it all unfurl / Into broken remnants I tried to live alone / But lonely is so lonely, alone / So human as I am / I had to give up my defences So I smiled and tried to mean it / To let myself let go
6. Sound the Bells. Dessa (post-Monica’s death feels if you want some)
Looks like our writing on the wall / Is lorem ipsum after all / A higher tide will wash it all / Wash it all away Go lift your sails up / For one last swell / Go lift yourselves up / To sound the bells
7. Unsafe Safe. The Hush Sound 
No you won't disarm my heart / The last gift you'll ever get from me / Is the combination or the key
8. Sick of Losing Soulmates. Dodie Clark (this whole song tbh)
What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be / If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark Watch how a cold broken teen / Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin / I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me / So how do we win?
9. Mona Lisa (When the World Comes Down). All American Rejects 
Here's another pity / And there's another chance / Try to learn a lesson / But you can't. If we can burn a city / In futures and in past / Without a change our lives will never last.
10. Every Time You Go. Ellie Goulding 
And it starts with forever / And it ends with a touch / And I know that you're clever / And I don't ask for much.
11. No Light, No Light. Florence + the Machine
A revelation in the light of day / You can't choose what stays and what fades away  And would you need me / If I told you what I've become? / 'Cause it's so easy to say it to a crowd / But it's so hard, my love / To say it to you out loud
12. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot. Brand New (SOME ELMER PERSPECTIVE) 
If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand / Hope you find out what you are; already know what I am / And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again / You can tell me how vile I already know that I am It'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate
13. Buy the Stars. Marina and the Diamonds 
You bought a star in the sky tonight / Because your life is dark and it needs some light / You named it after me, but I’m not yours to keep You bought a star in the sky tonight / And in your man-made dark / The light inside you died
14. Make You Better. The Decemberists (prime “codependent assholes” Humer) 
And when you bend backwards / I wanted you, I needed you / To make me better But we're not so starry-eyed anymore / Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters / And won't it all just come around to make you / Let it all unbreak you to the day you met her And all I wanted was a sliver to call mine / And all I wanted was a shimmer in your shine / To make me bright
15. Two Birds. Regina Spektor 
Two birds of a feather / Say that they're always / Gonna stay together / But one's never goin' to / Let go of that wire / He says that he will / But he's just a liar
16. Laughter Lines. Bastille (This Is Some 1711 Farewell Shit)
I'll see you in the future when we're older / And we are full of stories to be told / Cross my heart and hope to die / I'll see you with your laughter lines
17. Dear. Maria Mena (Farwell pt.2) 
I thought I’d seen it all when you first walked in / But you shut me up / And challenged every wrong perception I’ve had of myself / And you haven’t ever stopped.
18. I Will Be Back One Day. Lord Huron (pt.3)
You made me swear I'd never forget / I made a vow I'd see you again / I will be back one day and I'll find you
19. From Eden. Hozier 
There's something tragic about you / Something so magic about you / Don't you agree? You're familiar like my mirror years ago / Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword / Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know / I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
20. Solitaire. Marina and the Diamonds 
Hard like a rock, cold like stone / White like a diamond, black like coal / Cut like a jewel, yeah I repair myself / When you're not there And all the other jewels around me / They astounded me at first / I covered up my heart in boundaries / And all the fakes they called me cursed
21. Stardust. Mika 
I could be staring at somebody new / But stuck in my head is a picture of you / You are the thunder, I was the rain / I wanna know if I'll see you again
22. You Hurt the Ones You Love (I Don’t Believe That). Maria Mena (On the subject of “I’ll mercilessly experiment on everyone except Elmer”)
How can you expect more of me? / I come from chaos / Brought up in tragedy  But I don’t believe that / I don’t believe that / You hurt the ones you love
23. Stall Me. Panic! at the Disco 
I had a rosy dream / You gave up on you / And I gave up on me / Well, love came along and said, “Leave them be.” Hold on death, the moon / The star’s a sliver of you
24. I Found. Amber Run (I think this song was maybe literally written about Huey and Elmer) 
And I'll use you as a focal point / So I don't lose sight of what I want / And I've moved further than I thought I could / But I missed you more than I thought I would
25. Should Have Known Better. Sufjan Stevens 
I should have wrote a letter / And grieve what I happen to grieve / My black shroud / I never trust my feelings / I waited for the remedy
26. King. Lauren Aquilina 
There's method in my madness / There's no logic in your sadness / You don't gain a single thing from misery / Take it from me
27. Drops of Jupiter. Train (obligatory ‘estranged friends’ song) 
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star / One without a permanent scar? / And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
28. Old Stone. Laura Marling
Old stone / Ten thousand years and you're still on your own / Don't you love / Don't you love me that way? And if you swear that you're alright / I'm not gonna try and change your mind.
29. Skin and Bones. Motion City Soundtrack 
What if there's nothing more to me? / I'm just skin and bones. / There's no mystery. / What if you're just an empty shell? / All your spare parts were used up by someone else.
30. Hardest of Hearts. Florence + the Machine 
There is love in your body but you can't get it out / It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth / Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face / That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste
31. New Perspective. Panic! at the Disco (Elmer ‘let’s destroy the world together and make a happier one’ C. Albatross)
I wanna live a life from a new perspective / You come along because I love your face / And I'll admire your expensive taste / And who cares divine intervention / I wanna be praised from a new perspective It's not fair, just let me perfect it / Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive / 'Cause seeing clear would be a bad idea
32. Mercy of the Fallen. Dar Williams (hmmmm look at all that star imagery. this is so Huey’s perspective on Elmer) 
Oh my fair North Star / I have held to you so dearly / I have asked you to steer me / To one cloud scattered night And the mercy of the fallen / Who say, hey, it's not my place to know what's right There's the weak and the strong / And the many stars that guide us / We have some of them inside us
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