#On the blind play through thing- the worst part of actually playing the games is that I actively avoid looking at fanart to avoid spoilers😔

[kjzx]

Hello will you be my funger friend

Sure thing!! I don't know that much about the game yet, and I haven't started Termina, I prefer to play these games blind, just as a PSA. I really like it though, I think I'll probably be very extremely normal about it in the near future 👍

[auspicioustidings]

Ae Fond Kiss - Part 1

Winsome Wee Thing

Summary: This is the start of a story from this concept. You fall in love and you learn loss more ways than one. Words: 3.9k TWs: major character death (temporary), miscarriage

Parts: 1 2 3

You and your boyfriend's Lieutenant disliked one another immensely and immediately. 

For you it wasn’t so much that the hulking idiot was in a balaclava, although you found the skull pattern so teenage boy edgy that it caused a cringe deep enough to feel right through your molars, it was the obvious dismissal he had for you. For Simon it wasn’t so much that Johnny’s newest pretty little bit was a smart arse, although he could practically feel the ‘not like other girls’ radiating off of you in waves, it was the obvious disdain you had for him. The first impression set the tone for what became a horrid relationship.

–

“This is my Lieutenant, they call him Ghost but I believe he prefers to be called-”

“That’ll do.”

There was something about the way he cut the puppy dog that was your boyfriend off that riled you a little. 

“Nice to meet you, Ghost. Is that your gamer tag or something?”

“Never been one for games. You a gamer girl?”

“Not enough to have such a cool nickname.”

“Oh I’m sure we could come up with a nickname that would suit you princess.”

Gaz, who you did like, spent the rest of the night meditating while Johnny remained clueless to the simmering hostility between the two of you. Price didn’t really seem to know what to make of it all, but you found you had a natural respect for the Captain and as time went on, he was the one that could always tell you and Ghost to knock it off if he could see a fight brewing.

–

Johnny had been so excited to introduce you to his team and his team to you and the only thing you and bonehead could seem to agree on was that you would pretend to be civil when Johnny was around. So the jokes were underhanded but could be brushed off as humour, the vitriol was kept for when his back was turned, the eventual birthday presents were tactfully meant to appear innocent but actually be biting insults and the all out war that was had around a pool table was played off as healthy competition. 

If it has been anyone but John MacTavish you’d have dumped him purely so you would never have to see Simon Riley again, but fuck you fell hard and fast for Johnny. You didn’t even fully remember your first meeting. It had been a blind date and you thought you had been stood up so got well past merrily drunk at the bar of a nice restaurant. You had not been stood up, your date had broken down in the snow and in the hours you had been drinking the flurries had become a full blizzard. But that wasn’t going to stop Johnny. In the middle of a backroad with a blizzard beating down and no signal to call he had hiked his ass all the way to you, getting there just in time to catch you wobbling out the door. 

He had been a gentleman, hadn’t taken advantage. You woke up the next day with a handsome man bringing you breakfast in bed and apologising profusely for the whole thing. He had slept on your couch and admitted sheepishly that he had walked you home. From what little you did remember, you had made it difficult by starting a snowball fight and wanting to make snow angels every 5 minutes. You remembered the scent of pine and a roaring fire that enveloped you when he had bundled you in his jacket, breathing in and being transported to a log cabin in the Scottish highlands in winter, safe and drinking something warm with a hint of whiskey. 

If you hadn’t already been falling for him after his bashful teasing that morning, you were flung head first into it when you spent the next week looking after him when his gallantry earned him the worst cold known to man. He was a big baby when he was sick and that combined with the terrible sense of humour that he had made you desperate to learn more about him. 

–

“Ye cannae be mean tae me, I’m naw long for this world!”

For such a large man, he really was like a little kid bundled up in blankets and whining.

“Uh huh, that’s very valid and very sad but you still need to take your medicine.”

“I was never any good at swallowing, maybe ye can give it tae me as a suppository.”

Ridiculous man.

“Aww come on, swallow like a good boy and maybe we can talk about that suppository when you’re better.”

“Fuck, where have ye been all my life?”

His loopy grin nearly made you plant a kiss on his lips regardless of how ill he was, but instead you just ruffled his hair when he knocked back the pills and wondered how you were ever going to keep from loving this man.

–

The second date he had left you with a fond kiss at the doorstep after a wild night of earning enough tickets at the arcade to win him a little plush skull toy. He had been obsessed with it when he had first seen it, had told you he needed to win it for his Lieutenant. You thought that was adorable and had put your frankly suspiciously good reflexes to work absolutely rinsing the whack a mole for every ticket you could get from it. Of course had you known then that Simon Riley was the biggest ass on the planet you’d have hoarded your tickets and gotten 300 packets of Haribo instead (or so you’d like to think, but you knew deep down you could never have denied Johnny knowing how bright he smiled when he had traded the tickets for that stupid plush).

By the third date you wanted him so badly that you felt like a bitch in heat. You started to think that maybe you were making a fool of yourself with how calm he seemed whenever you sneaked a touch or whispered a filthy promise. God you liked him so much, it was killing you that maybe he didn’t feel the same. You needn’t have worried as it turned out, date number 3 was when John MacTavish had completely ruined you in a way you had not expected.

–

“This was really nice” you said, a bit embarrassed if you were honest and avoiding his eyes after he walked you to your front door.

You had been a menace the whole evening. You had never been some sex kitten but fuck he just brought it out in you without even trying. He probably thought you were ridiculous now with how you had tried to be all sultry the whole way through dinner. Fuck, your hands had wandered something awful during the movie as well and you felt the humiliation from it burn from your ears to your toes. He didn’t want you the way you wanted him and you had pathetically thrown yourself at him. He probably couldn’t wait to lose your number. 

“Open the door.”

Shit. He sounded almost angry. The first guy you had really liked in a long time, maybe ever, and you had totally blown it by being over eager. You shakily unlocked your door and blew out a breath, prepared to go inside and cry over a glass of wine. Instead you were grabbed by the waist and slammed against the door to close it behind you so fast it made your head spin. 

John MacTavish’s tongue was down your throat and he had your wrists pinned above your head in a bruising vice grip. You had only just found the sense to kiss back when his lips were gone and instead his teeth were sinking into the delicate skin of your throat. The whine you made at that was all animal, as was his answering growl. 

“Next time ye misbehave like that I’m going tae bend ye over the dinner table and fuck ye hard and proper in front of all those nice, fancy people.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. You had never gotten so wet so fast in your life. The nice lace panties you had on under this dress were soaked right through. He bit off a curse and your legs nearly gave out when he suddenly let you go and backed right off, dragging a hand roughly through his hair. 

“Fuck, sorry. Dinnae hate me, I wanted tae… our first time I mean, I had it all planned oot. Which makes me sound like a creepy, presumptuous bawbag. And now I’m being a fucking reprobate and pinning you tae the door without even asking first.”

Oh my God. You could not just fall in love with a man after 3 dates. And yet looking at his blown out eyes, how his body thrummed with barely contained lust for you and how he nearly vibrated with the effort of holding himself back because he wanted to treat you right… you had fallen in love with a man after 3 dates. 

“I thought…” you said, your hand coming to rest on your flushed chest as you tried to find the words. “I mean at dinner and then at the movie, I um… well I wanted you to, you know. I thought maybe you didn’t want to? Which is fine obviously. I mean if you didn’t want to.”

The whiplash from going from lust to humiliation to lust and back to embarrassment was not something you were enjoying. You looked at him, he looked at you and after a few long moment the two of you burst into laughter. What a bloody pair you made. He came over and wrapped you in his arms, that wonderful scent that just gave you a feeling of contentment deep in your bones sinking into you.

“I want to. Was hard for the whole film, couldnae move that popcorn bucket or someone was getting an eye oot. Wanted tae spank ye red raw for all that teasing” he confessed into your hair, so sincere and blunt about it that you weren’t sure your pussy was likely to forgive you if you didn’t go out of your way to tease him next time. 

“Wanted?”

He laughed, probably because you sounded somewhat like a petulant child, and leaned back, hands going to gently cup your face. Looking into his eyes felt like a gentle falling. Falling into a warm bed on a cold morning after a hot coffee, falling into the first fresh powdery snow of the year, falling in love with a man you hardly knew but felt so much like coming home. 

“Was planning on asking ye tae come with me up North. Got a nice cabin in the Highlands that I usually rent oot since my Captain is always going on about having a backup plan. Want it tae be perfect.”

“You don’t have to go to all that trouble.”

Nobody ever had before. In your somewhat limited experience men wanted to get to fucking as soon as they could and while a few had made sure you came first, none had ever put much thought into getting you into bed in the first place. It just sort of happened. You would never have said you were insecure, but at that moment you felt the crushing weight of feeling that you didn’t deserve this man making such a grand gesture just to get inside you. You already wanted him. And there was no way he wasn’t experienced, how would you ever be good enough to warrant all the effort he was going to?

“Hey, look at me beautiful” he said quietly, thumbs rubbing soothingly across your cheekbones and coaxing your eyes back to his. “I really like you.”

Those four words ruined you entirely. John MacTavish put his heart out there with such simplicity that it stunned you. He could have thrown you on the bed and fucked you rough and savage and you’d have enjoyed it, but instead here he was butting his forehead lightly on yours in affection despite his evident arousal because he wanted more than that. 

“I really like you too.”

Instead of fucking, he held you while you cried like a baby, overwhelmed by the care he took with you. He only made it worse when he whispered to you how you deserved to be treated with adoration. He called you beautiful, bonnie thing, mo leannan, winsome wee thing (that one made you laugh). He refused gently when you wanted to take care of him that night, instead laying you down softly on the pillows and lapping between your legs to bring you to slow orgasm after slow orgasm until you were boneless and sated, slurring your speech as he bundled you in his arms and you spoke about everything from your childhood pets to your great hopes and dreams until you drifted off into the best sleep of your life.

–

Your first time with him inside you was in that cabin like he had wanted and it had been the most perfect few days of your life. He had made sure you felt safe and comfortable, insisting you gave the location to your friends and going over maps of the area with you, pointing out where you’d need to go to get signal to check in with them. He bought ingredients for all of your favourite meals and stopped for a snack run on the way to boot. He showed you his test results but stressed that he was putting no pressure on you either way and if you did want to have sex he would have condoms if you preferred. And after all that he made it clear that you did not have to have sex with him if you didn’t feel like it. Johnny would be happy to just hold you for a weekend. As soon as you arrived he taught you how to use the sat phone if there was an emergency. The voice on the other end was gruff but soothing somehow, safe sounding (that at least was something that never changed about Simon, despite not liking the man, you always felt safe with him).

You were ready to explode by the time he finally laid you in bed. He stroked deep and slow inside of you, steady and solid and torturous. You understood then the difference between fucking and making love. It was the first time anyone had ever shown you the latter. 

He then proceeded to show you the former in great detail on every surface inside the cabin and on quite a few outside. Your pussy was battered and your clit bruised in the most delicious ways. Your throat was raw from screaming and from being fucked. After a lifetime of swearing up and down it was never something you were interested in, you wound up practically begging for his cock in your ass because there was not one part of you that you did not want dripping with him. And of course he was only too happy to make sure you understood everything he would do to prep you by letting you do it to him first. You couldn’t fucking sit down for a full day after he had indeed spanked you red raw for the teasing you had done on that 3rd date.

A week later you met his family, the week after that his brothers in arms. And then he was gone and you were so worried about him that you constantly felt nauseous. It took years for you to be able to settle when he was deployed, to not spend the whole time imagining him not coming home to you. Because by that time that was what you had built together, a home.

You and Kyle became friends throughout the years. You really did like him, he was easy going and would laugh and let you bitch about Simon whenever you wanted. Captain Price came to feel like an older brother. He was there whenever you needed him, whether it be a car breakdown or because you were in a panic about a handsy coworker (poor guy had broken both hands in an accident the next weekend). And Simon? Well not too much changed there, you dealt with each other when you had to and were it not for your shared love of Johnny you suspected you’d have killed one another. 

At least until Las Almas.

–

You didn’t know how you were going to tell Johnny. In fact, you probably wouldn’t. What good would it do? It had sorted itself out. That was how you tried to think about it. Food poisoning had made the pill ineffective for a day, you had gotten pregnant unplanned and unwanted and had lost the baby before you’d even started showing. It didn’t matter that while Johnny was somewhere being a hero you had heard a tiny heartbeat at the doctors. You told yourself over and over again that you didn’t want it anyway. You tried to think about how awful everything felt all the time. The morning sickness, the fatigue, the mood swings. 

It was probably just the shock of it, waking up wet from the blood and thinking you were dying. If your first thought had been that you’d rather you die and the baby lived then you tried not to dwell on that. She would have had Johnny’s eyes. He would have wanted a mohawk so he could match his daddy. You forced an image of you telling Johnny and him being upset and not wanting a baby. It was useless. You knew that man. You loved that man. And that man would have gently made sure you wanted to keep it before bursting into happy tears and kissing you senseless.

You couldn’t tell him. You couldn’t break his heart the way the last few months had broken yours. Maybe it was selfish, to want to keep this pain for yourself when you knew beyond a doubt that he’d be desperate to share it, to take as much as he could from you and turn it to gentle comfort the way he always did when you were hurting. But you wanted to be selfish over this.

It was a whole new pain when you answered the door and Ghost was standing there. Your knees went from under you and you collapsed with the weight of why he would be at your door. Why would he be here without your Johnny? It was the first time Simon Riley caught you. 

You never spoke about the way he held you gently and told you that Johnny was ok, he was alive but injured. He made you laugh through your tears and snot by telling you what a bad patient Johnny was being, how he was about ready to beat up every medic on base to get back to you because “I dinnae need fucking morphine I need tae eat my bird’s pussy”. His Scottish accent on that impersonation was truly dreadful. 

Simon never thought he would find himself comforting you. He didn’t like you, he never had. Johnny had never been so serious about anyone and it drove him nuts that you made him so happy. Happiness like that was an easy thing to ruin and you could ruin it if you wanted, that scared the shit out of him. It was even scarier when Johnny had shown him the ring he was planning to offer you. 

He never told Johnny how you had broke in his arms that night. How you had told him about the miscarriage in the dark, bled your pain all over him and let it sink into his skin. He had taken it gladly. In the light of the morning you went back to your dislike of one another, but something had changed in the dark.

–

You never did tell Johnny. You and Simon settled then on some sort of begrudging respect for one another. You still argued and bit at each other, but with the knowledge that now you would be part of one another's lives forever through Johnny given that only a few days after he came home he had slid a ring onto your finger.

Frankly you were fucking terrified when you came off of the pill. The only thing that got you through it was, unbelievably, Simon mumbling to you in the pub over a game of pool that you were going to be good parents. Of course Johnny had told him you were trying, but you found you didn’t really mind as you grumbled back an awkward thank you. 

You could have strangled Johnny for having such strong fucking swimmers. You hadn't expected to get pregnant almost as soon as you were off birth control and it meant your wedding dress had to be altered to account for the small bump there. The bump he could not keep his hands off. Honestly the man was already insatiable, but fuck he loved you pregnant. He was already talking about more kids and you hadn’t even had the first one, he fucked you and groaned about wanting you pregnant all the time. 

Your husband, something you thought you’d never get sick of saying, drove you mad once again in the late stages. You were hornier than ever and he was determined to treat you like you were made of glass all of a sudden. He certainly still gave you as many orgasms as you demanded, but gone was any rough and feral fucking. You loved making love with Johnny, but fuck if you didn’t miss the fucking. 

You’d never tell Simon it had been your suggestion, not under pain of death. Neither of you had been attached to any name in particular, but you knew how much Johnny loved his Lieutenant. He was his best friend and they owed one another their lives several times over. There was a good chance that you owed him your life. Your husband had kissed you with so much love when you had asked if he’d like to call your son Joseph and after talking about it late into the night you had agreed that the little human inside you was your wee Joey. 

A wee fucking bruiser is what he was, coming into the world kicking and screaming. Ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes. You joked that he must have screamed so loud he had damaged his own ears when he was referred to the audiology clinic after a second newborn hearing test. They stressed that you shouldn’t worry over it, but you hadn’t been anyway. Joseph was the strongest most wonderful thing you had ever seen, whatever came of it he had two parents who were going to make sure it never made his life anything less than a grand happy adventure.

Johnny had hated leaving him. Price had hated to ask it, had sent you enough flowers to start your own florist in apology. You understood though, your husband was off saving the world after all. Your heart was in your throat when he kissed Joey’s head and then kissed you soundly. Something felt off with him. The kiss felt different somehow, mournful. Maybe it was just a trick of your memory, hindsight tainting what you hadn’t known was the last time you would see your husband.

–

Simon Riley caught you a second time. John MacTavish was dead.

[imtrashraccoon]

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day

Day 5: Showing Off

Something smelled really good, like a comfortable, warm blanket for your nostrils kind of good. It slowly stirred you from the depths of sleep and for a moment, you were reminded of a cartoon character floating along the wonderful vapours.

Your eyes finally flickered open and while it took a moment to adjust to the light, you suddenly realized Frisk was gone. Ever since the first night you'd spent at the brother's home, you'd slept in such a way to basically shield them with your body. You laid on the couch with your back to the room, having Frisk situated between yourself and the back of the couch.

While Frisk wasn't always a cuddler, ever since you'd both fallen down here, they'd started practically clinging to you like a koala, especially while sleeping. Although, in the short time you two had been staying with the brothers, Frisk had grown more comfortable in general and you noticed they weren't sticking as close to you lately. Still, if they wanted to stop sleeping so close to you, they hadn't expressed as much, which was perfectly fine by you.

You hadn't told the brothers yet as you hadn't seen a reason to, but Frisk wasn't actually your kid. Sure, you had been looking after them on and off for the better part of a year by this point, but they still technically lived with their parents. Although, it had started to feel like they spent more time at your place instead, which only compounded further now that you hadn't been apart for a few weeks.

You'd always treated them more like a younger sibling than your own child. In fact, you'd barely ever given having children of your own much thought. You weren't blind though, you knew that Frisk's real parents barely acknowledged them back when you first met them, which only got worse the more time they spent with you instead.

You were the one who learned sign language to communicate with them, something their parents couldn't seem to be bothered to do. You were the one who comforted them when the neighborhood kids picked on them for being different. You were the one who made sure they ate right and made it to after school activities they were interested in.

You'd been distant at first but Frisk wormed their way into your heart until you couldn't afford not to care about them. Sure, you'd spoken with their parents many times about your concerns, but they never listened to you. The responsible thing after that probably would've been to report them to CPS but you couldn't bear the thought of Frisk being put into the foster system.

So that was how they'd become your friend. You took time out of your busy schedule to do fun things together like watch movies, play board games, and go to the local park to name a few. While you acknowledged that you could never fill the parental role for them, you knew you could at least make a small difference in their life.

So naturally, you'd become rather protective of them. You didn't think you were overbearing, but anyone would understandably be if they suddenly found themselves in a world where everyone wanted to kill them and their kid. The fact that Frisk had disappeared was enough to strike fear in your soul that the worst had finally happened.

You got up quickly, although the sudden motion caused you to feel rather lightheaded, but once you'd recovered, you scanned the living room for Frisk. Your ears then picked up the sound of Papyrus' voice in the kitchen and the familiar clatter of cooking utensils. Upon checking though, relief flooded over you, smothering the initial panic you'd felt.

Of course, Papyrus was there, but sitting on the counter close by was Frisk. They seemed to be holding a pleasant conversation, although Frisk was communicating solely through sign language but Papyrus seemed to have no issues understanding them, which was slightly surprising. They hadn't interacted much before now so you hadn't realized Papyrus knew sign language.

You smiled at the sight and walked into the kitchen as casually as you could. "Good morning," you said when they noticed you. Well, you hoped it was still morning and you hadn't overslept at least.

Frisk waved at you as soon as they spotted you. "I'm helping make breakfast!" they signed excitedly.

"Oh? It seems like you're being a big help then," you responded teasingly.

Papyrus chuckled and turned the element down slightly. "They Are Actually." He looked over at you again and added, "I Do Not Usually Cook With Anyone But They Know More Than I Expected."

"I remembered how to make scrambled eggs, just like you showed me." Frisk grinned and planted their hands on their hips proudly.

You felt your heart melt and you moved over to the counter, giving them a big hug. Frisk struggled in your grip until they could free their arms and hug you back. You were very proud of them that was for sure.

Hearing Papyrus chuckle again, you released your grip on Frisk and looked over at him. You made eye contact briefly before he turned his attention back to the frying pan with the eggs. If you didn't know better, you'd think he was rather pleased right now.

"I Did Not Mind Letting Them Help By The Way," he said. "They Said They Wanted To Do Something Nice For You, So I Mostly Supervised So They Would Not Hurt Themselves."

"I appreciate it, thank you. I've taught them how to do a few things but they're still a little young to use the stove in my opinion."

Frisk grumbled and lightly bumped their head against your collarbone. When you glanced at them, they signed, "I wouldn't start a fire!"

"Maybe not, but you could burn yourself by accident," you gently chided and ruffled their fluffy hair.

They crossed their arms and pouted, although they couldn't stay annoyed for longer than ten seconds. With a small sigh, they finally nodded, "I know..."

"Thank you for thinking of me though. I feel so special," you said with a smile and gave them another hug for good measure.

(Edit: Just tagging @scrambledmeggys since I didn't earlier. Apologies, but you might get a couple more of these today...) (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

[oblonger]

Do you have any creative influences? I'm always so impressed by your work— your prose especially— and I need to know if there's any creators out there I need to file away in the creative influence database in my head so I can write like you

This question took all day of me searching and thinking because I can't really say I know who or what's influenced me right off the top of my head. With notable exceptions that bookend this post. Anyway, here you go!

@.teshamerkel 's PMD Seekers of Soul was my TPiaG before I found TPiaG. It helped me through a part of my life that, looking back, was a lot harder than I thought it was. While it didn't move me to the point of starting to make my own art again, I certainly did consider it. And I consider Seekers of Soul to be a must-read for any PMD fanfic enthusiasts.

Tui T. Southerland's Wings of Fire series is the first thing I can remember thinking of fanfiction for. I never did write any of it, mostly because I never felt motivated enough (and partially because it was was all just oc x canon). But even with my misgivings of the series and how bungled the overall theme of arc 2 was with how they defeated the big bad, book 6 is still one of my favorite books of all time.

All of @.saltnpepperbunny 's work is really good, and definitely had an influence!

PMD Victory Fire holds a very special place in my heart for being excellent story, incredible artwork (that I think was done in MS paint), and being one of the first pmd things I consumed besides the games. Even if its on indefinite hiatus, I still consider it to be a must-read for even people outside of the PMD sphere. I would go into more detail, but I don't want to spoil anything!

I also consider Cucumber Quest to be a must-read. I dont have much to say besides that it's genuinely amazing and that you should read it the first chance you get.

Obligatory Avatar The Last Airbender mention. It's shocking to me how the worst that show got was just a mediocre episode in the first season. (The great divide) I genuinely think the entire series should be put in museums or something because it is an enormous accomplishment in the field of storytelling in general.

Scoob And Shag goes from a silly, foul-mouthed joke comic, to... not a joke comic. I would love to gush about it, but I fear that doing so would spoil it. Check it out. Even if its just for the (frankly absurd) glow up in the artistic style and quality. I normally advise going into things as blind as possible, but I would recommend checking the TV tropes page to know what kinda stuff you're in for once you reach around episode 20~30 and then seeing if it's something you would be interested in. It's very good, but definitely not for everyone.

... I thiiiiink that's it for people and content I can point to and know that they've influenced me off the top of my head. (Aside from one massive exception at the end of this post) The rest of this is just kinda a list of content and creators I really enjoy and highly recommend checking out at some point. Even If I can't really tell just how much of an effect it's had on me.

First, videogames!

Despite how much of my time I spend playing videogames, the only few I can point to are:

Celeste

Undertale

Undertale Yellow

Deltarune

Stardew Valley

and Hades. (I recommend Hades the most)

Despite how much I love the series, I haven't actually played any PMD games. (At least, in any official sense.) I am working towards getting them though!

Next, Youtubers:

• Atastic's animations are fantastic! I don't have much to say beyond that they are really good and fun.

• Bumbles McFumbles is a rare example of a person who is equally entertaining while talking about something he likes, as he is while talking about something he doesn't like. He's got an excellent sense of comedic flow and timing. He's part of the reason why my humor is the way it is.

• Doodley is an animator that makes videos on animation principles and is also just generally entertaining while also educational.

• Eltorro64rus makes all of his absurdist, extremely smooth animations in Gmod. Which is endlessly impressive if you know that Gmod is a game first, and an animation software like, 6th. The humor is very much an acquired taste though.

• FutureCanoe has such a funny, dry sense of comedy that it almost makes you forget that he's a cooking youtuber who somehow makes all of his food look like it was poisoned before, during and after cooking.

• GildedGuy is such a cool animator that he got his stickman OC in fortnite! And all his animations are gorgeous masterpieces, that too.

• Krugston is an animator that is constantly experimenting with his style. He went from a generic storytime animator to, in my opinion, one of the most unique and creative animators on the platform.

• Neytirix is an animated youtuber, but describing her videos really difficult because of just how unique they are. My best shot at it would probably be: "horror storytime animator and artist, with overarching plot between videos"

• Overly Sarcastic Productions has an entire, multi-hour long playlist of videos on different tropes. And within those is writing advice. While there are a couple of things that I remember disagreeing with, (even though I can't remember specifically what. probably just opinions on certain shows' quality) The general advise they give can be a big help. (They also do history lessons, and while I don't care for those as much, there is definitely appeal behind them)

• MajorLink doesn't have a large amount of videos, but he does have a fan animated series of The Legend Of Zelda. One with a total runtime reaching just over two hours at this point, with more on the way!

• ScottTheWoz is up there with Jerma as one of the most experimental, consistently funny, and creative e-celebs on their respective platforms. One of the few YouTubers that you would have to watch his videos in chronological order to understand all of the jokes. But even lacking context behind all of the injokes and references is fine because he writes jokes with the knowledge that someone might be watching it for the first time. 'Great Gaming Mysteries', followed by 'The Trial' would be my favorite youtube video of all time if they weren't separate.

• Wendigoon's videos are equal parts entertaining, and disturbing. They also are consistently over the 1 hour mark, so they also make for pretty good background noise material if you want to hear a guy talk for hours.

• Yahya Danboos has several videos showcasing his process of making an ambitious 3d hack-n-slash as a solo dev. It's pretty informative on the process of making a 3d game.

Next is TV shows!

This one is even shorter than videogames since the amount of time I spend searching for shows to watch, and watching youtube videos on said shows, outweighs the amount of time I spend actually watching the shows.

But I can fully recomend these shows though!

Centaurworld

Amphibia

Gravity Falls

Adventure Time

The Owl House

Next up, Webcomics!

All of the following are in no specific order. If I don't say anything, it's not because it's worse, but because saying "it's really dang good and you should check it out" for every entry can get exhausting.

All of these can be found on ComicFury.

PMD: Taken Place

Pokémon Abridgestery Dungeon

PMD: Milos From Home

PMD: On Borrowed Time

PMD: Terminus

PMD: Another Perspective

PMD: The Human Connection

PMD: Rangers Of Sky

PMD: The Rouge Team

Autumn In Sinnoh

Jet's Black Nuzlocke

Last Light

Soul Food

Endurance: In Our Blood

Laika's Comet

The-Heart-Of-A-Monster

Vagabond Sonic

All of the following I found on Webtoons, some I know arent on just webtoons, but I do know that they're all on there.

Lil' Char and Gang

Suitor Armor

Vampire Husband

City Of Blank

The Greatest Estate Developer (genuinely the funniest webtoon ive ever read)

The Last Dimension

Hand Jumper

Spontaneous World Shifting (my favorite out of all of these in the webtoons section)

Magic School Girl: Spare No Villains

Loving Reaper (my beloved)

TRIPTRACK

Spellward Bound

Marionetta

Zodiac Parade

Of Swamp and Sea

Jupiter Men

Vibe Check!

CARL

Next is the various Tumblrinas I follow. (Not tagging them because i feel like it'd be wierd.)

@.cringywhitedragon and @.ghetsis both come up with really cool idea's that are partially responsible for the things I come up with.

@.efplanning Makes some cool art and is also cooking up a really cool universe that I'm excited to see.

@.obogaboo is making PMD: Taken Place and is also just a really good artist.

@.teeterarting Author of The Rouge Team and also makes really lovely art

@.aimer-arts 's art is adorable and wonderful and beautiful and I love it.

Same goes for @.quikyu

Same goes for @.sunsnak

Same goes for @.pichiicake

Same goes for @.pikabata

Same goes for @.chufflepop

Same goes for @.honeycrud

Same goes for @.honrupi-art

Same goes for @.cryptid-creations

Same goes for @.dailyralsei

Same goes for @.bugblast

@.zeropro Is the author of Jet's Black Nuzlocke, and also makes some great art on the side!

@.fwugradiation makes some cool music I think. He hasn't posted it a while though.

@.spicymochi makes cute art that I wanna buy stickers of in the future.

@.advosart 's riolu gives me life.

And now for the grand finale! The person who's my greatest creative influence:

It's @sincerely-sofie

You asked me for my biggest creative influences, but it seems to me, from what I think is implied in that ask you sent, didn't realize that I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. I doubt I ever would have gotten started even writing things if it weren't for the things that you make and your constant, uplifting encouragement.

While all of these other things I've outlined in this post did have an impact, and those ones at the start had more of an impact as i might not have thought of before, they all are barely quantifiable compared to just how much of an impact your own stuff has had on my creative expression. It's your stuff that got me to begin creatively expressing after all!

You say you like my Prose, but I actually think that it sounds closest to yours than anyone elses, if we assume that my own personality isnt a factor.

It's genuinely impossible to thank you enough for how much of a positive impact you've had on me.

:)

[chemicalbrew]

2023 game list, part 1: I love complaining!

Once again continuing what has become an honorable tradition thanks to @smash-64 💜

I tried to promise myself I'd be more organized this year, trying to take notes after I beat things, making lists and gifs and everything, as it has become a consistent yearly undertaking. In truth, what happened is that I felt more overwhelmed by this than I did the last three years. The best explanation I can give is a combination of two facts: this year, while not particularly worse than what came before, still saw my confidence in myself tank a bit (i.e. What does this matter when few people read it and I don't bring much things of value to the table?)...

And the fact that I played very few games that really stuck with me, that I enjoyed enough to see through to the end and feel like that had merit, for a lot of the year. When that wasn't the case, it was more than likely I'd been on my nth playthrough of Katana ZERO of the year (more on that in a later post, hopefully).

I probably need help, don't I?..

games I played, but don't have much to say about at the moment without being prompted, aside from 'I kinda liked them, I guess', ordered best to worst:

Purrfect Apawcalypse trilogy (2019-2021) - series of VNs that's genuinely just good fun as you find yourself attached to the characters before you know it. You'll know if this one is for you at a glance. Also, this is how I found out about Panel Royale! LOL

The Witch's House MV (2018) - good old RPG Maker horror with a few decent twists. The remake has good QOL changes.

Gunbrella (2023) - the plot might be forgettable, but you get a gun that's an umbrella! What's not to enjoy?

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (1995) - I played this game, but only in the most technical sense. Literally cheated the fun out of it - either that, or this platformer style is not for me.

Coffee Talk: Episode 2 - Hibiscus & Butterfly (2023) - the most upsetting entry on the list. The writer behind the original game has passed away, and his absence is felt keenly even if you're not aware of the fact - because this sequel lacks charm.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion (2021) - yet another of those cheap and short indie 2D Zelda clones. The definition of the word meh.

Irisu Syndrome (2008) - a unique free puzzle timewaster. Tries to have a story and fails.

dishonorable mentions (the part with the most complaining)

2064: Read Only Memories (PC, 2014) [♪ Home (Not) Sweet Home]

Starts off decent enough, doing the bare minimum to string you along the mystery (which, for most people with standards, wouldn't even be good enough, but I was willing to stick with it for the sake of the neat audiovisual presentation).

As soon as the murder scene is revealed, however, the main plot starts to fall apart, and the longer you spend with the game's writing (which seems to go on and on forever) and characters (about as flat as a pancake fresh off the pan), the more bleak and yawn-inducing they seem (including Turing, who just took longer than everyone else to annoy me).

Do yourself a favor, play VA-11 Hall-A (which this game gratuitously references) instead. You'll get all the benefits of cute pixel art and upbeat soundtrack, but with an actually good story\character cast to match. I swear it says something about 2064 that one of its most exciting moments was seeing throwaway lines from a VA-11 character!

Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition (PC, 2015) [♪ Climbing the Ginso Tree]

This is a game that won awards back when it came out almost a decade ago. Unfortunately, it feels like it was made to win awards and little more. While the credits scrolling up the screen tried to convince otherwise - with the usual special thanks given to families and pets of the developers - I sat there, unsure of what I was supposed to take from this experience (once again, the less words you try to use to tell your story, the more it usually suffers!).

The heart of any platformer is its movement systems - and, while eventually Ori's tools open up just enough to make you feel at least a little free and alive in its world, they also never go beyond what is almost painfully typical. Double jump, wall climb, ground pound, glide, charged projectile? None of that is going to wow anyone. The way it comes together is not too pleasant, either - Ori's too floaty and the obstacles before him, while painted with a talented stroke, are too unclear in their presentation to make for truly fun traversal. The exception to this is the escape sequences - sure, a lot of the time they're not much less frustrating than the rest of the game, but they're definitely more memorable, to the point where the accompaniment to one was the only part of the soundtrack I could think to showcase.

I don't regret the time I spent on this, per se, but what I can tell you is that it probably didn't deserve the awards. Also, the way the wall jump worked was annoying! Pushing towards the wall to do it feels very counter-intuitive, and with this I found that I much prefer when games have you face away from the wall to register wall jumps, or do not require you to press a direction at all.

Celeste (PC, 2018) [♪ Checking In] + Celeste Classic (2015, played as part of full game) :)

I was in high school when this made waves. I pointedly feigned disinterest as it splashed all over the internet, while making sure to download the soundtrack quickly and listen to it - more than occasionally - over the next three or so years. Lena Raine's work carried me through my school years and empowered me, and all the while I hadn't a clue what playing the game is actually like.

Those were the better days.

Now, the things about this game that seem to appeal the most to a lot of people are how refreshingly simple Madeline's moveset is and how much the game respects your time with death transitions and reloading, and the story it tells through heartfelt cutscenes and gameplay working in sync. To which I boldly say... none of those things are good enough.

Having to climb and manage your stamina adds another layer to navigating the rooms, sure, but to my simple ass, that's one layer too many. To the game's credit, there's a setting to make climbing toggleable instead of requiring you to hold down the trigger, and using that was the only reason I managed to push past the hotel and Oshiro (call me a scrub, it was genuinely overwhelming otherwise), but it still did nothing to change how I feel about this mechanic fundamentally.

I get it, it adds precision and verticality to your movement, and, seeing as you're literally supposed to be scaling a mountain, it's more than a natural inclusion... but its existence did nothing but add pressure for me, somehow. I would frequently forget it's an option at all before realizing the room in question expects me to utilize it. Instead of feeling like climbing expands my options, I felt constricted and awkward.

My second issue is much simpler. I'm a spoiled brat, and Celeste's respawning process involving that annoying whoosh sound effect and a transition that, yes, takes only about a second, but is still not quite instant, was not good enough. I recognize that having it be truly instant would not be ideal, either, but I can't help but wish that was the case.

As for the story... It underwhelmed me even back when I was doing surface level research at the time of release, and it's not impressing me now. It's okay, and I recognize why it would resonate with people - the themes of self-acceptance and resolve are plain to see (and just as plain to mull over). But in my time with the game, Madeline never began feeling less like an avatar for my failures and more like an actual character, never changed into someone I would truly like.

By the time I reached the Mirror Temple, I was certain that this game, in most respects, is just not what I would ever want. I pushed towards the summit anyway, and left it feeling profoundly... nothing.

However... Celeste Classic did not have any of those things! That little prototype gem of a game wastes zero time trying to set the stage and make you feel things with ~a story~, doesn't give you any opportunity to climb whatsoever, and neither does it waste your time having the screen fade to black when you die! And these three things, I reckon, are key to why this smaller version, that's supposed to just be treated as an Easter egg now, a relic of the past, and to be forgotten in favor of the project it grew into... resonated with me so much more! I beat it twice! It's lovely! It's what I actually needed Celeste to be!

IT'S COMPLICATED

AI: The Somnium Files (PC, 2019) [♪ MonzAI] + AI:TSF - Nirvana Initiative (PC, 2022) [♪ Nefarious Institute 1]

You know how they say not to judge the book by its cover? This is a story of me learning (once again) to judge a game neither by its reception nor by the credentials behind it. When I plowed through this duology, I came to understand that sometimes, lightning might strike just the once.

Of course, most of my bitter feelings about it stem from just how miraculous of a fuck-up Nirvana Initiative ended up being as a sequel (it's impressive how much it had to twist everything its predecessor stood for to even have a chance at making a mediocre point!), but a lot of the disappointment came from the way the first game carries itself in general, and maybe even from the presence this game has among fans. 'Oh, if you want more of the magic and mystery that you so enjoyed in Zero Escape, you have to try this! It'll be just as good!'

I should have had my doubts from the start, given how little I had enjoyed the ZE series after 999. AI1 flounders in many things, like its obtuse, deeply unfun gameplay loop - most of which is pressing random buttons until you see the most ridiculous shit present itself. There's also the overt reliance on stale and perverse jokes, and a story that can barely do much except trudge to the finish line and attempt to convince you the journey was worth it with a trite dance number, of all things.

But the thing is… even with all that, the first entry was somewhat compelling during its runtime, though most of that comes from its bold novelty. The idea of taking advantage of the surreality of dreams to find deeply concealed truths is fun to occasionally ponder, and there's just enough fluff to the places you visit and things you do to string you along for the ride (though having to check the same spots for flavor text on each revisit to very little results is a deep annoyance I have with both entries). The characters actually got a chance to grow (if not by much… this series' urge to be immature at every turn is nothing short of ruinous, sometimes), and their designs strike a wonderful line between outstanding and cringeworthy that makes them just… stick out in your brain, you know?

So while I thought the song and dance (both the literal and the metaphorical) were ultimately not worth much, I was still convinced, fooled by the magic just enough to see things come to an end; and the resolution itself was satisfying and believable, if nothing else. And with how exhausted I felt reaching this point, I figured that'd be enough.

To me, AI1 is all about finding shards of diamonds in the rough, and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that its fandom runs away with what little they have to try and improve on it (and often succeed). As such, you'd expect its sequel to take advantage of how much room there is to grow, capitalize on this chance to refine things, and use the few strong themes the original presented (value of bonds and family made both by blood and by choice, finding those you can rely on to carry what you have done forward, etc)... right?

Um, yeah, turns out it twists over itself even more than I'd already thought possible in order to make sense (not to mention seemingly forsaking most of that mess right at the true end in order to approach the established universe from a contrived meta angle). If AI1 can be described as having extremely unrefined gameplay coupled with a decently intriguing story, NI is just about the opposite of that.

While I'm glad they bothered to make exploring the dream worlds enjoyable this go around, there's no way in hell that makes it worthwhile to bear witness to the innumerable ways in which this mess of a sequel sullied the already weak foundations laid down by its predecessor. When I had finished that game, I wrote, on impulse, that 'I haven't been this confounded by a sequel's existence since Chrono Cross'. It just… did not need to happen, like, at all.

Nirvana Initiative posed to me one of the worst questions you can have while playing a game, which is…

'Why am I doing this, again?'

Let's be real, it was mostly for the soundtrack. Unlike AI1, this game had passable music! Though having to watch ANOTHER dance number (like half a dozen times, actually! and no, there's no skip button!) just about had me gagging.

That's not even the worst part about that sequence, no - that would have to be the way it almost actively ruins and undermines what's probably the only passable character arc in NI (and even then, you have to squint hard for it to pass your judgement, given how it starts... gotta hand it to this game for managing to have multiple relationships with genuinely questionable setups involving uncomfortable age gaps).

I wanted to feel touched by the new, somewhat expanded narratives, I wanted to see the world grow a little, despite all the grievances I was certain I would have... But not even halfway through the plot, I realized that my true wish was to just move on. I think that's what I'll do here, as well, as even reminiscing on this chaos is quite dreadful.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 (Switch, 2022) [♪ Agnus Colony]

Don't become prey and victim to your own expectations - or to bad advertising.

Xenoblade is a special series, full of wonder and power. Words fail me this year, as they did the year before, when it comes to describing how much of an impact these games - the second entry most of all, a game I think about now and then with a bittersweetness on my heart that I oddly never can get enough of - had had on my mental well-being last year. They might as well have saved me back then, and while getting to experience them was something I'd been planning to do for a while, the specific circumstances it all had happened under were just so special, so exceptional, so wild, that it's hard to think of those days as anything but a gift.

And yet, there are plenty of things in this particular journey I still have to reconcile with. I never settled on what my impression of 1 is, in the end (or, some might say, I never properly played it); I could use a fresher look at 2, and… I never, ever, will finish Xenoblade Chronicles 3. It's a game I once had hopes for, but nowadays don't ever want to think about.

I thought it a privilege, of sorts - the fact that I was there to witness (and acquire) a brand-new release in a series that became dearly important to me. I ended up hearing many things - the trailers, the rumors, the leaks. They all spoke of a definitive resolution to the series, of levels of refinement never seen before, of intrigue so big you can barely take it, of key character appearances we were all dying to see.

Turns out most of what we were so eagerly expecting came with an extra price tag.

The base game of Xenoblade 3 is a mirage, a mere shade of what came before it. The environments are open and vast, but they look more drab than ever - and with the new autowalk feature, it takes even less time to get sick of it. The music takes you on a journey, but you forget what it sounds like far sooner than you'd prefer. The battle system promises lots of options and a nice learning curve, but it only overextends, overwhelms and forces you to grind. The cutscenes look every bit the part of a Xenoblade story, but meander and stretch things out to the point of boredom, which means none of the characters get enough time to grow on the player, either… Though a lot of them would probably go nowhere even given all the time in the world.

And the setting as a whole? Well, it's a simulation, so who cares about it feeling unique or fun? That's the point, the game says, you're supposed to empathize with these characters breaking out of their bonds, out of this miserable existence! Well, I say that things can be made appealing even in decay. You don't have to actively worsen things to make a point.

Future Redeemed is an impressive demonstration of how things could have been. It fixes practically every point where the base game falters - and it is in this part of the game where all those promises that once seemed hollow finally come true. Sort of. The exploration process is smooth as butter in the way none of the games before were, characters are at last back to having defined roles in battle, and all that teasing becomes a thing of the past as 3 acknowledges its own roots and past in full, and you think to yourself… 'If only we'd got this in the base game all along!'

But we didn't. And the credits on Future Redeemed roll far too soon to truly be satisfied. Is this how you wanted the saga to end?

honorable mentions

Butterfly Soup 2 (PC, 2022) [♪ Night Tourist] *I hope you'll forgive me for not finding a GIF for a mostly static VN...

It's so funny. For me it has been two years; for the creator, it'd been five. But I guess time doesn't matter when it comes to maturity, as I feel like both myself and this game have done plenty of growth. And for that, I love it all the more, just as I am now thankful to be able to call Butterfly Soup a short series.

Compared to the first game, the art is more refined, the tone is more consistent, and treatment of serious topics is more grounded - in more ways than one, this sequel is like a fond, yet melancholic look at what you once had, what changed since then, and what you hope to make of things. But between all that, it stays sincere and silly in the best of ways - the ones that make you feel cozy on the darkest of nights, the ones that endear you for a good while yet. Truly, this game was a ray of light in a sea of mediocrity this year.

Road 96 (PC, 2021) [♪ Hit the Road]

Yeah, I know. The fact that I have played a goddamn walking simulator at the behest of a good pal (who might or might not be reading this, hi on the off chance that you are!) is nothing short of a miracle. Not to mention the fact that I ended up having a good time with it!

I'll put it plain: the vibes of this game are almost impeccable. It wastes little time setting things up - it's the turn of the century, and a massively corrupt government is practically folding in on itself as it closes its borders. It's up to you, as you're literally put into a blank-slate teenager's shoes, to go on a desperate journey and see whether or not you make your way out.

Over the course of Road 96, you do this six times, and the people you meet on the way and choices you make with them may or may not shape not just your own future, but that of the whole country. There's nothing for it, then, but hit the road and see what awaits you, as you sit in a car that's probably stolen, blaring music from your carefully curated tapes… or are dropped off on the wayside with nothing but a paltry backpack to speak of… or find yourself biding your time near a gas station… or… whatever it is the game throws at you, as you hope that the strangers you run into actually deign to help.

Yes, the biggest way this game attempts to stand out is with our good old friend, RNG. Even reading blurbs about it, you cannot escape the all-too-typical claims of 'your own personal journey', 'a thousand unique paths waiting for you' and all that… months later, I find myself unable to decide whether this helped the game or harmed it more, as it's definitely smaller than it makes itself out to be.

As a story hook, this setup is clever and delightful, as I tried to illustrate a moment earlier, but the moment you begin to overthink it, you realize that the randomness aspect clashes hard against the continuity the game tries to establish. You, as the player, indeed learn more about the world and colorful characters in it each time you venture forth, but the avatar you control is supposed to be clueless as ever, setting out on a path that is, in fact, not quite their own any more. It's a weird gripe to have, and I found it an easy one to ignore, but I wish something could be done about it anyway.

As for the rest of the plot, let's just say it's... surprisingly binary, and the supporting cast small and not always compelling in turn. The game sacrifices some of the personal intimacy and uniqueness it has built up to make a sweeping, painfully boring statement of 'freedom good, suppression bad' before credits roll, but as damaging as that is to the overall experience, I feel like one can't deny the fundamental appeal of just being asked to go on a journey with sweeping stakes and truly, truly banging music. Seriously, it was meant to be put on speakers and blasted as the world passes you by!

In a word, Road 96 is ambitious, and in a sentence, it is ambitious, yet falling short of itself. Nonetheless, I was impressed by how it managed to worm its way into my heart for a while.

A Space for the Unbound (PC, 2023) [♪ Don't Have Much Choice]

Wouldn't you know it? I had actually played two games involving entering people's subconsciousness to solve their problems this year!

Truth be told, I'd been looking forward to this game for about a year, given that it was published by the people behind Coffee Talk (which, if you recall, I had quite enjoyed). The warm and inviting screenshots on the back-then almost empty store page, showing off awesome art and promising a sweet little journey with slice-of-life tropes and a mystery waiting to be solved… well, to say all of that was alluring is to say nothing, really. I just about jumped when I received a notification for this game releasing at last at the beginning of the year, and wasted little time trying to dive in.

The sad thing is, what you see is not always what you get. The cozy, comfortable, sensible vibes of the early game - running around the city, doing chores at your school, naming every stray cat you come across, watching the protagonist's diary fill up as he crosses all the little goals he had set in life off his precious list… Yeah, those things won't last - definitely not long enough to get you attached to characters living in this world.

As the plot begins to unfold, it fumbles over itself trying to introduce various cliches and supernatural elements, to the point where you recognize the whole experience as a tedious drag as you see exactly where it's heading, and think to yourself that you have heard all this before. It's yet another heartfelt story about self-actualization, and as the game hammers it in harder than ever before, you sigh and wish you could go back to the times of bottle cap collecting and cat petting. Sometimes, simpler is better.

Unfortunately, that's not exactly true when it comes to actually playing A Space for the Unbound. The gameplay is as simple as can be - basically all you do is walk around (quite slowly) and interact with things. I can appreciate how linear the game is, for the most part, but I wish it let us accomplish our goals without wasting too much time! Not to mention, if you try to see everything there is, you have to be prepared to deal with quite a few mind-numbingly repetitive mini-games for far longer than you have to. Don't do that. It'll just sully your impression of the game.

If you're somehow still interested in this after reading this messy opinion of mine, don't be too discouraged - you'll see plenty of beautiful sights, hear some cute music, and, maybe, be affected by the story far more than I was. (Besides, for a cat lover, it's always nice to see others appreciate them!) Just... try not to waste too much time with the game's superficial sidequests.

Tales of the Abyss (3DS, 2011 port of a 2006 release) [♪ The Distribution Base]

There's something ironic in how playing (most of) this game has been one of the best things I have done with my lovely 2DS since I homebrewed it earlier this year... and yet I quite regret not checking how (ahem) easily available the PS2 version is, instead. They may be functionally identical, but the hardware is not - you have no idea how hard some of the goddamn Mieu Fire puzzles become when your character is taking up a mere four or so pixels of an already tiny screen. Man, that was trying my patience at its finest.

These horrors aside, though, what kind of game are we even dealing with here? Well, it’s a Tales game first and foremost. I can’t deny claims that Abyss has a few strengths of its own (most notably, of course, actually bothering to have coherent character development arcs), but it’s not quite enough to obscure the ever-prevalent issues this series has:

exploration and side-questing is still annoyingly obtuse, not to mention traversal is painfully slow in the first half of the game,

some characters (in this case, Anise more so than others, but I'd argue Mieu's whole existence is part of this too) are obligated to suffer because Tales has to meet its unhealthy anime tropes\wackiness quota per game,

the skit system has not, unfortunately, evolved one bit (the amount of times I would skip a skit on accident, because any input halts its playback entirely…),

while I’m inclined to say the battle system is, for the most part, an improvement (the Field of Fonons mechanic is quite a nice change given the foundations of Tales gameplay, I have to admit), any goodwill you might want to give it gets shattered when you realize Free Run breaks bosses in half. And aside from that, it’s just your usual button-mashy fare.

So why did I push on with this game as far as I did, pulling the classic move of quitting right at the final boss instead of, well, any earlier? A lot of that is because I was just in the mood to mash some buttons in bed until I realized I was slightly underleveled for the finale and caught myself groaning at the mere thought of trying to even cheese it. A shame, that, because the ending of this game is pretty wonderful for what it set out to do, and it was the only bit I did not see on my own. It's like my experience with Final Fantasy VI all over again…

That's not all there is to it, though. Abyss has some of what's probably the most involved and curious worldbuilding (once you get past all the awkward made up jargon it loves to throw at you) of any Tales game I know! Not that this says much, because that's a low bar, and I'm not too familiar with the series at large, but it was enough to keep me engaged for a long while. And, as mentioned earlier, it puts in greater efforts than I expected to endear you to the cast as they slowly band together and uncover their own talents, purposes and aims in life - Luke in particular.

I liked him almost immediately - because I'm not too hard to please when it comes to this series, and his design is, I feel, particularly sweet and striking (especially given how nicely the game used the Important Haircut trope with him, and of course, the contrast between him and Asch). But that alone doesn't a good protagonist make - it's the fact that the story allows Luke to make mistakes (from small ones to straight-up catastrophes), get his comeuppance and grow from them organically, at his own pace, that makes him stand out in my mind.

As Luke sheds his sheltered ways of thought and accepts his responsibilities, those that were traveling with him, either out of obligation or by chance, begin to support him more and stand by him in earnest. It all comes together gradually and at a satisfying pace, and is definitely a highlight of the experience to me.

Growth and connection are probably among the biggest themes of the game, so it's nice to see that it applies pretty much equally to both protagonists and antagonists. Sure, it's the job of a Tales' Big Bad faction to be goofy and up to nefarious activities, but beyond that, the group has solid enough chemistry both among themselves and with the party that I actually ended up looking forward to most encounters with them, even if ultimately it felt a little predictable. As an aside, for a game this old, the voice acting was really good and plentiful (though there is none for skits, which sucks), and further piqued my interest in the story along the way.

To conclude, I'd like to say that the biggest thing I learned while playing this game is that I'm a sucker for grounded tales of (ha) self-actualization even this many years later. And also that once you play one Tales game, you truly, to some extent, know them all.

SANABI (PC, 2023) [♪ Warm Hospitality]

Do you want to know why I ended up playing this one? Of course you do, that wasn't really a question. I only bring this up because the answer can be revealed with a single screenshot:

...yep, the inspiration is that blatantly on display. I was expecting it, of course - the Katana ZERO community is the only reason I know of SANABI in the first place, and even as you read people's thoughts on it, the extreme similarity is practically all they ever bring up, be it in a positive or negative light. It pleased me and warmed my heart, while also making me feel wary - it's one thing to be inspired by something, and another to actually carve an identity of your own.

That said, KZ is far from the worst thing to try to replicate, particularly when it comes to visuals - SANABI has some awesome scenery that makes me feel right at home. And while the story at times feels so much like an amateurish copy that it leaves me confused more than anything (I'm sure the awkward English translation sadly does not help matters, not to mention the fact that I'd played this game in an unfinished state - you might expect me to write about it again next year!), the gameplay is anything but.

I'm sure there are quite a few platformers out there that have you use what's essentially a grappling hook to swing through the stages, but SANABI is my first experience with something like this, and in this regard the game absolutely manages to shine on its own. Movement is lightning-fast and responsive, enemy targeting is extremely generous - almost to the point of being handholdy (and, of course, they all die in one satisfying hit - as do you, if you set the game to the highest difficulty. It's nice to be given an opportunity to learn the ropes before engaging with the game earnestly!), and there's something to be said about how the level design has that extreme kind of clarity to it that I always appreciate and favors speed over precision, with how spacious everything is.

My only big issues with how the game plays are how it doesn't seem to be designed with a controller in mind (it is an option, but I found myself moving much more precisely with KBM! Me! Someone who never plays games with that!), and, once again, the just-a-bit-too-long death animation\transition. Being able to skip it helps, but I just yearn for no time to be wasted...

[and-stir-the-stars]

supernatural-turned-fnaf but now inactive blog.

Catch you on the flip side.

~~

♤ Before you go any further, it's important that you know I talk about pretty angsty, graphic topics. So, to avoid seeing any triggering content, make sure to blacklist "#tw [trigger]" (ex, #tw death ). If you ever need me to come up with a tag for a specific piece of content or trope you find triggering, please reach out so I can work with you on how to make sure we both have happy and safe experiences, as much as is possible on this hellsite.

♤ You're free to make fic, art, comics, or anything else you can think of inspired by my posts and aus.

Au Masterlist:

(There's a lot)

#Evbot au

Au where Cassie finds Evan in the ruins of the Pizzaplex. Evan is possessing an endoskeleton melded with staffbot parts, but neither of them have any idea who he is or why he's there. Cassie recruits it (he/it pronouns for Ev) to help her find Gregory, but things don't go so smoothly.

#Dire Consequences au (made with @dire-kumori and @catwithacupofcoffee)

Post-Bite of '83. About a year after Michael learns about haunted animatronics, he takes a visit to an abandoned pizzeria in his hometown of Hurricane, Utah. He knows he won't actually find his brother's ghost there, but feels obligated to check, anyway.

And Michael is blind-sided when he finds his little brother's ghost in the pizzeria.

Once he realizes who Michael is, Evan is ecstatic to have his big brother back. He's so happy that he demands they play games together to make up for lost time and the loving brothership they never had. But Evan has been dead for so long that he doesn't understand basic human necessities. He doesn't understand why Mikey keeps insisting he needs to stop playing for things like sleeping, eating, and getting something to drink. And Evan gets violently angry at his big brother every time he "ruins their fun" with his unnecessary requests.

The longer Evan’s games go on, the more certain Mike gets that he might not make it out alive. His little brother's love might just be what kills him.

#Scooped Sitcom au (first made by dire-kumori)

Similar to Dire Consequences, except the Michael who goes to investigate the abandoned Freddy's location has already been scooped at the Sister Location. Michael doesn't have to be so worried about Evan killing him if he's already dead and doesn't need to eat, drink, or sleep. Now, the games and happiness can last forever with no risk to Michael (well, almost no risk). They're not the most conventional family, but Evan is just glad to have his big brother back, and Mike is glad that he can make up for his past mistakes and doesn't have to hide in the shadows anymore. For the first time in years, both brothers can just... exist. It's nice to have a friend.

#Lonely Children au (with dire-kumori and honey-bunnysaurus)

Part One: When William finds out Evan is possessing the Fredbear suit, he manipulates the machinery and forces Evan to relive his worst nightmare over and over again (fnaf 4) in the hopes that the fear will snap Evan back into awareness. Unfortunately, William dies before he can complete his experiment. Through sci-fi shenanigans, big brother Michael ends up inside the mechanized Endless Nightmare, too, but no matter how hard he fights to keep his brother from dying over and over again at the Nightmare Animatronics' hands, everything he does only seems to end in Evan dying again and again.

Part Two: The two are stuck there for years, until the machinery they're latched onto gets scanned into fnaf VR. There's hope for a Good Ending yet, but only if Evan and Mike can find it in themselves to forgive each other and promise to do better. It's a big struggle-- especially with Glitchtrap on their heels-- but with a little help from some friends they find inside the game, they might just stand a chance.

#Silent Protector au

*shout out to @catwithacupofcoffeee for the awesome art they've made for this au!

*thanks to @cloudwhisper23, there's a really great fic for their take on the au!

Sometime after he dies, Evan ends up at the fnaf 1 location. There, he finds four children, lost and alone and lashing out in fear at any adult who comes close. Evan knows what it's like to be tormented by monsters-- and worse, he's learned the hard way that no one is ever, ever coming to save you. Especially not any adults; in fact, adults (and older brothers) have only ever BEEN the monsters in Evan's life, or they've just sat by and let him be hurt. So, when he sees these kids, he decides he's going to protect them from the monsters like no one ever protected him. Until a security guard named Mike Schmidt comes and messes everything up.

From here, the story has two endings. The canon ending: Evan uses the Fredbear suit to kill Michael, except he realizes to his horror that Mike is possessing the suit. He didn't liberate the other kids or himself from the WORST monster he's ever known-- he trapped the Monster with them forever.

And then, the second ending (#silent protector desolation). In which Michael burns the Freddy's location and all the ghosts inside it to the ground, except for Evan. Oblivious to the fact that he essentially just killed every friend Evan ever had, Michael is now determined to Make Things Right and make up for killing Evan, despite Evan not wanting anything to do with his murderer and tormentor.

#Saffron Pawn au

Au where Evan survived the Bite. After the Bite, William realizes he doesn't want to be in the "child murder" game alone, and manipulates Evan into helping and being just like him. Faced not just with William’s abuse but now with Evan's often violent trauma responses to seeing Mike as well as the teen's own guilt, Mike runs away from their abusive household sometime around his 17th birthday. William uses this to his advantage, further cementing in Evan's mind that no one but William could ever love him.

That all changes when he and William get caught, and suddenly William is in jail on death row, and Evan is put in his big brother's custody. Evan never wanted to be a killer in the first place, but he has a hard time adjusting to his new life.

#Hollow Cause au

Age swap au. Evan is the eldest Afton child: a quiet, shy boy who takes the brunt of William's abuse so his siblings won't have to and always tries to smile when his siblings are near because he knows its up to him to provide his siblings safety and happiness. One day at Circus Baby's Pizza World, Evan witnesses Elizabeth's death to Circus Baby. William manipulates Evan into believing that he must have imagined the whole thing, but the incident sparks a deep-seated fear of animatronics for Evan. His chaotic, energetic, fierce little brother Michael gets fed up with Evan's overprotectiveness when it comes to their father's creations, and Mike decides to sneak into William's workshop to prove he can handle being around them.

When Evan follows Mike in, Mike accidentally sets off one of William's death traps. Evan pushes Mike out of the way but gets caught in the death trap himself. Enter William, who finds his youngest son rooted in terror and his eldest son dead. William then forces Mike to help him with his remnant trials, saying it is Michael's responsibility to "put their family back together" by helping him figure out the secret to immortality, and to saving Liz and Evan.

Shattered Cause au.

Similar to Hollow Cause, but Mike is the one who dies. Evan refused to let Mike have his birthday party at Freddy's like William wanted, and William accidentally killed Mike in a fit of rage.

William convinced Evan that he has schizophrenia and EVAN is the one who actually killed Mike, all to keep Evan's mouth shut.

As an adult, Evan gets a job working at Freddy's to figure out what really happened to his younger siblings. There, he meets a police officer named Vanessa. He eventually finds out Vanessa is his half-sister who has been manipulated into helping William, and suddenly it's up to them to end Will once and for all.

Spooky au

Michael Afton committed suicide at the age of twelve. After stumbling upon his big brother's diary, Evan found out it was because Michael felt like a monster.

So, Evan grows up to be a spooky emo goth kid who is obsessed with proving that monsters deserve to be loved, and they most certainly deserve to live.

His mom and sister are confused by Evan's antics, but are entirely supportive.

A Nest Torn Empty au (aka My Brother My Wound au) (ao3)

Au where Gregory and Vanessa live with their adoptive father, aka the human version of Glamrock Freddy, in the 80s. Au focuses on Gregory and Evan's friendship post-Bite of '83, and Evan's relationship with his siblings post-Bite of '83.

#Grab&Go au

Au where adult Mike time travels to before the Bite and kidnaps Evan to keep him safe from their father and Mike's younger self. Evan begs to be reunited with his family, but Mike never yields, and Evan ends up repressing his past entirely

Inspired by the lies that Mike fed him to keep him safe, Evan thinks Mike is a family friend who adopted him when his parents died when he was too young to remember them. As the years pass, Mike and Evan bond, but things take a turn when Evan's repressed memories start bubbling back to the surface.

#Dream Theory au

Possessed killer animatronics don't actually exist, and William Afton isn't a child murderer. That being said, William Afton is a shitty human being and an abusive father/husband, and when a messy separation ends in Mrs. Afton leaving with Liz and William covering it up by saying Liz is "missing," young Evan's imagination runs wild and he has nightmares about killer animatronics and a scary purple guy as he tries to make sense of what happened.

#friendbot au

Au where Gregory is a robot designed by William in the 80s to befriend Evan by mimicking Evan’s behaviour and standing up to bullies, except Gregory develops his own consciousness somewhere along the way.

Springlocked au (work in progress that's still being kept highly classified, made with @honey-bunnysaurus )

After a night shift gone wrong, Michael tries hiding inside a Fredbear suit to save his life. He quickly realizes it's not just 'a' Fredbear, it's THE Fredbear-- and his little brother might just still be inside it.

[marukrawler]

Ok, so I guess it's further dissing Dan hour because I'm studying to become a HR manager, and he might be the worst option ever to be the leader of a team: first of all, he's clearly an individualist, which on itself isn't a bad thing, but given one of the key parts of a team against a group is coordination, this kind of personality can only lead to problems. Second of all, he sucks at communication and is willing to even strain it between the other members of the team that (1/?)

that do actually work well together; for example, instead of telling the group that Shun was grieving over his mother's death he preferred to make them believe he was a selfish cunt for not wanting to play with him again (luckily, that didn't stop other brawlers from seeking him). As for compromise, it isn't strange for him either to screw the bigger project or picture because he wants to become the best brawler ever, going as far as to put others in danger like in MS if I'm not mistaken. (2/?)

He also lacks any larger experience or knowledge of the situation in comparison to his teammates; for example, it's Mira who knows how Vestal and their colonizing process work, Ren who knows Gundalia's military and politics, Alice is the mastermind behind the Bakugan game and the one with atual access to the Old Vestroia and the Doom Dimension, and Fabia is the goddamned princess/queen of Neathia... and yet, everytime, the team has to follow a lose canon like him (3/?)

Likewise, I'd say the rest of his teammates actually work well together, like Shun may sometimes go solo as well, but is willing to team up with the others and acknowledge that other people actually know what the hell's going on (he works with Fabia a lot in GI, and didn't forced himself on Ace, another Vestos, during NV); Marucho is definetly the trust part of the team and Alice's arc is all about the importance of complementarity, while Julie's is about communication. Runo (4/?)

Runo I'd say was the one who was screwed since the very beginning as, while the other brawlers got their importance in the team diminissed either to erase them from further seasons or to make Dan seem like the better option, she actually seemed to reunite at least the passion to seek his teammates, offer them some comfort like with Alice in BB and Julie in NV, defy whenever Dan was an obstacle in communication (she was the first to look for Shun if I remember well) (5/?)

But then Runo's arc changed to revolve around abiding anything Dan did or made since her trial in which she "accepted" she was into him, which was exaggerated in NV and MS. Likewise, Drago himself has the experience and attitude of an actual leader, and because he's Dan's guardian we're supposed to accept Dan is as well (which no). Had Dan had rivals that actually exploited his lack of teamwork and leadership skills instead of being somehow worse Drago would be toast already (5/5 Sorry for this)

no need to apologize, it's always dissing dan hrs on this blog lolol

dan is all about everyone accommodating and taking his feelings into consideration but won't do the same when it comes to his friends. it's so funny to me how this was actually a problem the show brings up multiple times but is never actually resolved?

dan is so quick to ignore the suffering of his friends in favor of going after masquerade, which is funny because outside of dan hating what masquerade is doing to the game, he had the least bit of personal reason to beat masquerade. runo wanted to avenge the fallen bakugan, shun wanted to protect the game his mother encouraged that masquerade is now destroying, julie and alice had their loved ones work for masquerade and marucho almost lost preyas for good. even then, none of them are blind to what the others are going through except for dan.

i agree with you that dan is just awarded the role of leader without putting in any of the work to bring his team together or having any leadership skills that make him qualified for the role. he simply is the leader because he has the strongest bakugan, which is so unfair to characters like runo or marucho who exhibit far more competency in battle as well as compassion towards their teammates than dan ever does.

runo is the one to take action and tries to bring shun back to their group, who can easily tell that julie is faking her cheerfulness, who checks up on marucho throughout his period of grief and implores dan to be patient and understanding of marucho's loss, and she's the one who takes care of alice and weeps when alice leaves them. i'm really not joking when i say i want runo to be the main character and that marucho deserved to be the leader after ms1 when it was so clear to everyone that he was doing a far better job than dan lol

[aparticularbandit]

Take A Sad Song and Make It Better - Chapter Five

Summary: Miles almost hit Duke when he left Andi’s place.  He didn’t stay to make sure that Andi actually died.  What if, in all of the attempts to get into the house, one of them heard the car still rumbling in the garage?  What if Andi didn’t die?

Chapter Rating: T. Fic Rating: T. TW: Hospital scenario.

AO3

previous chapter / next chapter

“Babe.  I know you wanna be here.”

Lionel overhears Duke’s gruff voice as he starts across the parking lot to the hospital, straightening his shirt and trying to make sure that he doesn’t look like he just ransacked someone’s house. Because he didn’t, technically. He didn’t take anything because he didn’t find anything.  Which is maybe the worst of the options.

His hands clench into fists and then relax as he shoves them into his pockets.

“Babe.  She doesn’t even know you.”

Duke stands with one arm crossed and the other holding his phone to his ear. He’s right, of course.  Andi doesn’t know who Duke’s latest arm candy is.  Lionel barely remembers her name – it’s something to do with some sort of alcohol – Bourbon, maybe? – but she’d only been on their trips since Andi stopped joining them, so they’ve never met.

Lionel taps Duke’s shoulder, pulls down his mask, and mouths, Room number?  He waits as Duke shifts his phone to his other hand and signs – actually hand signs because Andi had taught all of them a few signs back when Miles decided their annual get-together should involve scuba diving years ago, in the early days – something so quick that Lionel almost misses it.  His brow furrows, and this time, Lionel catches it, then gives Duke a nod and a thumbs up.

“Babe, I’d love for you to be here, but I gotta know the scope first—”

Whiskey, Lionel remember as he steps through the doors without a snap of his fingers, Duke’s voice getting cut off with the close of the doors behind him.  Her name is Whiskey.  Just the sort of thing someone like Duke would want a shot of when he’s sick.

That’s not fair, Lionel can hear Andi say from far, far away.  You can’t assume they’re all bimbos, Lionel.  Those girls play a smarter game than you think.

Lionel remembers rolling his eyes.  The last one – actually named Candy – had less sense than Birdie, and he can only handle one idiot at a time.  Not that Birdie’s an idiot. He loves Birdie, he does, but sometimes her lack of the good sense anyone should have makes him queasy.  But it meant that he’d spent most of his time avoiding Duke’s literal Candy and not getting to know her.

Andi just raised her eyebrows, gave him that look that said he was being blind and not seeing everything the way she did, and nudged his arm with her elbow.  C’mon. Let’s get drunk, and then you won’t care.

And she was right. He hadn’t.

(A few months later, and Lionel was discussing the problems of this Klear bullshit with Andi while she reassured him that she had everything under control.  And look how that had turned out.)

Lionel shifts his mask a bit before rapping on Andi’s door with one knuckle. Shave and a haircut—

The answer, much softer, from within – Two bits – Claire probably tapping it out on the wood of her chair before standing and opening the door to him.

It’s a small thing, but anyone in their little group could have done it. Any of them but Miles, who still could have but had never been part of that little joke.  It was before his time, when they’d all met up at Andi’s place for a movie, the first time they’d met anywhere other than the Glass Onion as a full group.  She had Who Framed Roger Rabbit pulled out, which came out when most of them were in second or third grade, and had been a point of horror for poor Duke, who had been a little younger than the rest of them when he first saw it (which led to him cowering, shaking, hiding against Birdie when the poor shoe got dipped).  But by the end of it, they’d all had their characters – Lionel was Eddie, Claire Dolores, Duke Benny the Cab, Andi was Jessica Rabbit, and Birdie was the titular Roger – because that fit each of them so well.

At the time, anyway.

(Miles hated it because he’d never had a character.  If the suspicions Lionel has are right – the ones he keeps trying to ignore – than Miles did – and does – have a character.  Judge Doom.)

Claire opens the door, and Lionel, pulling on the old memory, gives her a wry little smile.  “Hey, Dolores.”  He nods to Andi.  “How’s our dear Jessica doing?”

At his words, Andi’s brow furrows.  She makes a small sound of discontent, and then her brow smooths back out, as though nothing had changed at all.

Claire turns back at the sound, stares at her, and then lets out a little breath before slipping out and shutting the door behind her.  “They won’t let more than one of us sit with her at a time,” she says, her voice slightly muffled by her mask.  “Covid restrictions.  You know.”

“I know.”  Lionel nods twice, his gaze only leaving Andi once the door shuts and blocks her from his view.  His fingers clench reflexively, and his head lowers.  “It wasn’t there, Claire.”  He lowers his voice even more than his head, so soft that it’s barely above a whisper. He isn’t sure how Claire can hear him through the mask, but she’s always had impressive hearing.  “The envelope,” he says, specifying, before repeating, “it wasn’t there.”

Claire doesn’t respond, and for a moment, Lionel can pretend that she didn’t hear him at all.  Then he glances up and sees how ashen her face is, how wide her eyes are, and that faint way she shudders as though she is trying not to do so.  “Claire.”  He wraps his arms around her by instinct alone and pulls her against him.  “It’s going to be okay,” he lies, because there’s no way he can know how all of this is going to turn out.  But it’s a comfort, it’s an attempt at comfort, and she bows to it, leans her head against his shoulder, and lets herself quiver with the anxiety attack he knew would come.  He runs a hand through her dark, thick hair.  “It’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Lionel,” Claire whispers, the words muddied by her mask.  She shivers against him.  “You don’t have to say it will be okay when we both have nothing to tell us it will.”

Lionel nods and just holds her tighter against him.

Which, honestly, should be enough.  They should be able to have this moment.  Duke’s outside, still on the phone.  He’s here.  Andi’s still in her bed, not quite awake.  That should be it.

Except.

“Oh, honestly, do you two have to do that here, too?”

Lionel doesn’t even raise his head.  “Birdie,” he groans, “how did I get here before you?”

“We stopped at a Burger King for a salad.”  Birdie steps closer, heels of her shoes sharp on the hospital tile. “Got you a burger, too.  And one of those slushies Claire likes so much.” Her head tilts behind her as Lionel finally looks up.  “Left the chocolate milkshake Whopper combo with Duke.  He really needed that.”  Her brow furrows as she holds another milkshake aloft.  “Milkshake for Andi, too.  She’s awake now, yeah?”

Claire slips out of Lionel’s arms and wraps her own around herself as she looks up at Birdie.  “There’s…a lot you don’t know, Bird.”  She brushes her hair back behind one ear, and for a moment, it looks like she’s regained some of her color.  “Lionel, you should go see her,” she says before passing him to Birdie, “while I catch her up.”

She meets his eyes briefly, and he hears what she doesn’t say.

Don’t say anything about the envelope.

Just as silently, he agrees.

~

“So,” Claire says, gently guiding Birdie away from Andi’s room, “where’s Peg?”

Birdie shrugs.  “She said something about wanting to wait in the car, but I think she just wanted to see Duke eat his combo all at once.”  She grimaces and props one hand on her hip.  “You know, he told me he couldn’t have milkshakes anymore!  But I see him drink shakes all the time on his little YouTube show.”

“Those are protein shakes, Bird.”

“There’s protein in milkshakes, too!”  Birdie’s eyes widen.

Claire gives her a look.  Stares at her.  Examines her.  Birdie isn’t a great actress, but she was a model. Even if she wasn’t a bodybuilder, she should know that someone like Duke, who is focused on maintaining a muscular physique, wouldn’t want a milkshake or anything else that could potentially ruin that.  “Birdie, don’t you lie to me.”

All at once, Birdie giggles, her nose scrunching up in that way she does when she’s the most excited, that way that Claire finds adorable, that way that has made it hard for her to ever think less of Birdie, despite everything else. “You’re right,” she says, giving Claire a little shove.  “But he’s still out there – how does he call it? – scarfing it down!”

Well, sure, Claire thinks but doesn’t say.  Give Duke a Whopper, and he’s all over it.  Especially when he’s having a rough day.  And today?  It’s been a rough day for all of them.  Even Birdie, who wouldn’t so much as look at a Burger King on her worst days, unless she needed something to make her feel better – even if it is just a salad.  Just like Birdie to pull her feelings on what she doesn’t know to use by buying comfort food for everyone else.  She reaches out, takes her cherry slushie (extra-large, because when it comes to comfort food, calories don’t count), and leads Birdie back outside so they can talk clearly without masks.

As Claire takes her mask half-off, letting it hang from her ear, she gives Birdie a little nod.  “Surprised to see you in one of those,” she says before taking the first drink of her slushie and immediately relaxing.

“Peg had an extra one in the car.”

Something tells Claire that Peg has a lot of extra masks in the car because Birdie probably forgets them everywhere they go and throws them away without even thinking about washing them (and is probably especially picky about which ones she wears in the first place).

“So what’s going on with Andi?” Birdie asks, leaning in conspiratorially, holding half of her mask away from her ruby red lips.  “You said she wasn’t awake?  She’s still not awake?  I thought we were just going to check on her, and then there’s all this don’t tell Miles and don’t come here, and it’s all very confusing.”  Her brows furrow.  “I know my birthday’s coming up, but dragging me all the way out to a hospital for a surprise party is not what I’d call a good time—”

“It’s not, Birdie.  It’s not,” Claire interrupts, cutting off the rambling that she knows from experience is just as much Birdie’s way of covering her own uncertainty as it is her attempt to stem her fear.  “When we got there – to Andi’s house – the new one – all of the lights were out, and the doors were all locked, but we….”  She swallows, tastes the cherry on her own lips, and forces herself to keep going, “We heard a car going in the garage.”

Birdie’s brows furrow even deeper, and her gaze drops as she tries to puzzle through things.  “That doesn’t make any sense,” she says, tapping a finger on her cheek.  “You don’t leave a car running in the garage.” Her eyes widen, and she meets Claire’s eyes with her own green ones.  “She didn’t back into the door, did she?”

Claire shakes her head.  “No, she was….”  She swallows again, harder this time, around a rising lump in her throat.  “We think she wanted to die.”

Or someone wanted to kill her, she thinks but refuses to believe and absolutely refuses to say to Birdie.

Birdie stares at Claire.  Just stares at her.  “Andi?” she says in a voice like an echo.  “Wanted to die?”  She giggles, lips pulled back into her normal smile.  “Why would she ever do that? You’ve got the wrong girl!”  She reaches over, slaps Claire’s arm, still all smiles.  "No, really, Claire.  What’s going on?”

Claire stares at her.  She can’t think of any other way to explain it.  So she takes a deep breath in, pushes her hand through her hair, and lets out a heartfelt sigh.  “I don’t know,” she says, and her shoulders start to shake again – this time not from panic, but from the weight of everything that has happened in the past twenty-four hours.  “I don’t know, I don’t—”

When she looks up, Birdie’s smile falters.  It’s a quick flinch of a thing, a stutter, quicker than the flash on the paparazzi cameras that tend to follow both of them on the odd occasion, even quicker than the ones that surrounded their entire crew during Andi’s trial against Miles.  Unlike that moment, it doesn’t slip, doesn’t fall, regains its standing – that grin that is so naturally Birdie at her best.  “Right. So we just have to convince her to not die!”

Claire chuckles, wipes away the tears that were gathering under her eye, and nearly smiles.  “Sure, Bird. Convince her not to die.  We are just the people to do that.”

“Doesn’t look like there’s anyone else!”  Birdie grabs Claire’s hand and gives it a squeeze.  “We just have to be there when she wakes up!”  She tugs Claire back down the hallway then stops and turns back to her, brow furrowing.  “…so why do we need to wake her up, again?”

[shinysamurott9]

2024 Games: Mega Man X6 Tweaks

After playing X5’s improvement project, I felt it was only fair that I give X6's a go as well. X6 Tweaks is a sort of like a custom tweaks patcher allowing you to alter several elements of the game to your liking, including how the characters play, certain specific elements of level design, elements of the game’s presentation and a lot of stuff being tracked under the hood.

Before going into that though I feel I should talk about my opinion on base X6.

I hate it.

I really do not like base X6. I have played a majority of the side scrolling Megaman games, not all of them but most of what could be considered main series games and I genuinely feel X6 is the worst Megaman game, of the one's I've played at least, I've heard many bad things about BN4. But with X6 itself I feel like there were a lot of good ideas and some genuinely fun things to mess around with, but between the massively inconsistent difficulty, poor executions of it's ideas like the Nightmare Effects, bad design decisions with things like the secret boss areas and all armour pieces being required to use an armour again and of course it's infamously bad level design. Any good or sensible idea X6 had, is ultimately either undermined, falls over itself or is lamented for being stuck in this game.

So what exactly does Tweaks do to fix these issues?

In short, quite a lot while also adding a number of miscellaneous additions for fun and QoL, but at the same time, not doing much to fix arguably X6's biggest issue.

With my playthroughs, for the overall important changes, I opted to disable the Nightmare Blindness, leaving the other nightmare effects on. Aside from that, I activated incomplete armours, made it so the Exit Stage button was always available, unlocked aerial moves like double jumps and dash, fixed the translation, added the custom mugshot graphics, and tweaked the damage tables to make a few things more tolerable, like the donuts.

These changes did do a lot to make X6 more tolerable which did allow it's better qualities to shine through. The game is a lot more open with your routing, probably at least in part because every stage needs to be revisited anyway. The armours are fantastic, I'd argue they're some of the best armours X ever got and with the updated script, I can at least appreciate what the story was attempting. The script does even have some stuff that is genuinely interesting or funny.

Nightmare Zero actually has lines that read like he is Wily, I genuinely did not know that til now.

MF actually pulled the "I got better" card,cannot believe this.

Zero canonically hates puzzle games lol

They even added unique dialogue for Zero in the intro stage and against Nightmare Zero should you use the cheat to unlock him from the start which is a fantastic touch.

Some other fun additions include letting you change the Ultimate Armour’s palette to any of the three from the PS1 Trilogy as well as a fixed version of the X6 colours to match the portrait and a colour palette for the Legacy Collection Ultimate Armour which I think was updated to make it look better.

Unfortunately, at it's core the game us still X6 and it's main issue, the level design is still very much a problem. Scaravich is still a random layout , leaving the armour, boss portal and heart tank up to RNG. Mijinion still has his really annoying secret area, and his main area still throws literally everything at you, and of course, Heatnix is still just donuts. Would you believe me if I said someone actually told me they thought this was not only fun, but better than an actual level? Course the Gate stages are still just as bad too, but hey you can actually beat them without parts now. Bringing Shadow Armour to Gate is actually a reasonable idea now, as one of the few changes the hack does make to level design is adding a platform to the infamous jump. An air dash for No Armour and Shadow Armour is also available.

Sadly, like X5 Improvement, the hack ultimately does very little to fix the overall level design and the more problematic sections. But to be clear, I can't really blame the hack creators for that as the only real solution would be to just completely scrap the existing levels and completely redesign them from scratch, something well beyond the scope of a rom patch. So overall while it is an improvement over X6, I'd really only recommend it to someone who's familiar with X6, the bullshit it throws at you and the ways you can cheese it.

I'd say it helps the stromg qualities of X6 stand out enough to get B tier, but a pretty low B if I'm honest

[gaast]

Since October 2022, I've been playing only one game at a time. That might not sound like much but for something that struggles to keep its number of concurrent games even at two, it's a pretty big deal. I did it because I wanted to commit to games, and to commit to finishing them. And for the most part, I've been successful.

As part of this, I've been tracking the games I've played and want to play, and I've been marking down the days I started something (usually) and the days I've finished them.

Now that this much time has passed, I've got a year's worth of games down, and I wanna do little write-ups for everything I played in 2023.

That means that anything I played in late 2022 (Silent Hill 2, Xenosaga Episode 1, Observation, and Red Dead Redemption, among others) can only get mentioned honorably here. But I'm gonna go through everything I started in 2023, beginning with:

Outer Wilds, January 1-January 7

What a way to start the year. Outer Wilds is unique and charming. It's really fun to fly through space in the awfulest space ship ever with the worst autopilot (have fun in the sun!) and check destroyed, abandoned planets, read ancient peoples' logs of their attempts to save the universe, and to be there at the end of everything.

Unfortunately: the fucking angler fish. I hate those fucks so bad that I actually didn't finish the game. I never brought X to Y (no spoilers) because I hate dealing with those guys. So I can't class this a perfect game. Those dudes need some changes.

Still, highly recommended.

The Sims 4, January 6-the ride never ends

I'm not gonna lie. This is just a sex thing for me.

Even still, I don't quite get why people hate it so much. I played the third game, too. This one's fine. This franchise isn't amazing. It's weird and held together by Scotch tape. I like that about it.

What a weird world.

Anyway, this must be around the time my ISP sent me emails telling me to stop pirating shit or they'd kick me off their plan, which would be bad because that ISP is the only one we can get in our building! Imagine being unable to work because you wanted TS4 DLC.

Bioshock, January 14-January 28, canceled

I couldn't do it.

This was my second attempt at getting through this game and I had to just admit that it's not for me. I didn't enjoy it. It was a chore. I decided to just set it aside.

Wish I hadn't paid for a PS4 copy when I already had a Steam copy. Ah well.

The Liar Princess and the Blind Prince, January 31-February 2

A very aesthetically-pleasing puzzleish platformer with a cute story and good music. I enjoyed my time with this simple little game.

Half-Life, February 3-February 5

You starting to see a pattern where I only manage to finish games, like, late at night, so I can't start a new one until later? Anyway.

This was my second attempt to get through this game. I did it this time, and I regret it. I didn't have fun.

I don't really know why I didn't have fun, I just didn't. Maybe the combat was too tedious. Maybe the jumping was too iffy. Maybe it just went on for too long. Maybe it's a case of "Seinfeld Is Unfunny." I don't know. I just know I don't like Half-Life.

So maybe I don't like the game, but I love the Headcrab Fucker 9000.

Poison Control, February 8-February 11

Sometimes you just wanna play a mid game.

Look, I like poison. I love pink. I love androgynous characters in suits. I like NIS. This game had it all. And it was perfectly. It made me want to stop playing a little while before it was over. It had a really good OST. I got the platinum trophy and I didn't feel satisfied.

I liked it. And sometimes that's enough.

This is the first on a small series of mid NIS-related games. I'll have more to say when I hit the other.

Grasping, February 15

Obviously I couldn't play this as intended, but it's not hard to imagine having shoved your hand into an awful box.

Anyway, this was good, I think. I don't really remember it.

The House in the Woods, February 15

Another horror game I absolutely do not recall playing.

Apocryphauna, February 15

I remember this one! It's good! I liked it! I wish there were more to it--like, a lot more. A lot lot more.

Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin, February 25-March 21

I held off on playing this for a long time because I had always heard it was "made by the B team" and "not as good as the other games." But I decided to play it. It was the gaping hole in my From résumé.

It's not as good. It has a ton of bosses and none of them are memorable except for a select few DLC bosses (Fume Knight, Sir Alonne, Sinh). It makes a lot of weird gameplay choices. It takes way too long for Estus sippies to heal you--like, in terms of the health bar going up. The Iron Keep is infuriating. So many of the runups are abominable. It runs with the clunkiness of Demon's Souls and Dark Souls despite having the svelte ambitions of Bloodborne and Dark Souls III. It has way too many sections where it just says, "okay, deal with a ton of enemies now."

And I loved it.

Honestly, this is probably my favorite of the three Dark Souls games. I think it is by far the most aesthetically complete game of the trilogy. It fulfills its own promise, you know? And I disagree with the people who call it bleak. I think it's the only game of the trilogy that actually offers hope. A real hope, too. One that says that, just because our struggle may not take us anywhere, at least our struggle itself is beautiful.

In a strange way, I think that Dark Souls II is the only Souls game that actually understands the Souls series.

"A lie will remain a lie."

Pokémon Violet, March 21-March 25

I didn't want to play this game. I didn't want to like it. I just wanted to play it. I love Pokémon. Sure, this wasn't a Pokémon game (according to me), but I wanted to play it anyway. The morning I finally decided to go for it, I had read that the professors were antagonists all along. How stupid!

And the reaction. Oh boy. All the glitches. All the performance issues. All the memes. What trash, right? Right?

I fell in love. I didn't think anything could unseat Gen 7 in terms of my love for a Pokémon generation, but honestly, this game might do it.

Did it need more time to cook? Absolutely. I'm not gonna sit here and say it should have been released as it was. No; it is in many ways a disaster, and it is certainly unacceptable.

But every inch of it oozes with love.

This game wasn't just shit out to make a buck. It feels that way at first, but no, everyone who had a hand in making the Gen 9 games absolutely loved what they were doing. You can feel it--from the sound design to the music to the character design to, fuck, everything. They did the best they could with what they had and they made one of the most charming, wonderful games I've had the pleasure of playing in far too long.

There is so much heart here. It convinced me that the future of Pokémon is still bright. Very much so.

Just... let's take a couple extra years to make the next one, all right?

Heroine Conquest, sometime in April

Look. It's actually pretty good.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, March 31-April 18

I'll get this out of the way: I didn't really have fun.

The game has aged surprisingly well. Or Skyrim is just a truly unmotivated sequel. Either way, it holds up.

The problem is that I just don't think that TES games are for me. They're just so fucking boring. And I never end up liking literally any character in them.

I have fun actually playing for a while, but the general guideline with Oblivion is "don't level up." Fun! Either way, it's just rote after a while. Nothing really feels satisfying, and you're always worried something is going to break.

Frankly, the main story quest isn't compelling, either. With hindsight, knowing it'll lead to the rise of the Dominion again, it's like, well, shit.

Anyway, I played it. And it's certainly a game that you can play. If you wanna.

FEWAR-DVD, April 23

I called it "an arcade game" in my notes and that's basically what it is. Doesn't mean it isn't fun.

(Have you noticed I'm not reviewing games yet? It's write-ups; I'm giving my thoughts and impressions. Also, it's been a while, so I don't super remember a bunch of these. Oh well!)

Bleak Sword DX (Demo), April 23

I think I liked this? Apparently it's out. I should review it and see if I wanna get it at some point.

It looks pretty cool.

The Signal State (Demo), April 23

I liked this a lot because it's so unique and it taps into a specific type of autistic urge for me but god is its price tag just too high for what I suspect that it is.

Deltarune (Chapters 1 and 2), April 22-April 23

This was a replay of Chapter 1 and a first play of Chapter 2.

I think when I first played Chapter 1 I felt... you know, I didn't want Undertale, or a sequel to Undertale, but a secret third thing. And when I first played it in... late 2019? It wasn't whatever that secret third thing was. I liked it, don't get me wrong. But I think I didn't... get it?

Not to say I wasn't excited for me. It just took me a while to convince myself to finally get to Chapter 2 and to meet the funny spambot man.

Anyway, I won't bother spending too much time on Deltarune. I'll just say that in this play, I realized that Deltarune is that secret third thing, and that I think it's better than Undertale.

I'm scared.

Pizza Tower, April 14-April 23

I think I'm guilty of wanting this game to be something it isn't.

I wanted WarioLand, and it's like that, but it isn't precisely that. It isn't trying to be precisely that. It's trying to be Pizza Tower.

I like the game, but not as much as I thought I would. Not as much as I think I should.

I'll probably reply this game in a year or two and it'll click and I'll love it the way I was always meant to love it. But for now, I'll just let the "Tombstone Arizona" guitar impregnate me.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, April 19-May 27

...It took me that long? Really? Huh.

Anyway, I love this game. I love love love it. I love the characters and the art style and the way they tell the story and the story itself and the gameplay (holy shit the gameplay!) and just. Man. I wish more games were just like this. Weird, experimental, talky, confident, cool, and unique.

This is the type of game that inspires you to write your own sci-fi. Or to write about its world. To think and to imagine.

And that's the best type of game.

Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown, May 28-June 6

Come to think of it, how can a sky be unknown. There's just the one.

As mentioned above, I played this after Ace Combat 2. With both of those under my belt, I now know: the way I want to play these games is not the way I'm supposed to play these games.

And that's fine. I feel like "gamers" nowadays are so fixated on the idea that games should let you play them however you wanna play them, and that if they can't accommodate that then they're somehow inherently flawed. It's like everything needs the mutability of Minecraft, the problem-solving freedom of Scribblenauts, and the role-playing depth of Dungeons & Dragons. If it doesn't score highly on all those axes, it's got problems.

Obviously, I disagree. Games can and should have "supposed tos." You should be expected to play a specific diegetic role. You should be limited (and by the way, you're always limited, so don't act like you aren't).

If I ever play another Ace Combat game (and I wanna play Electrosphere), I might do it on easy. I like these games but man do I not know how they want me to engage with them.

no-one has to die, June 4

I had to replay this Flash game that I had originally played once when I was probably 14.

I'm glad I did.

Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair, sometime in 2022-sometime in mid-2023

The strange thing about the Danganronpa games is that they're actually really good.

They shouldn't be. They shouldn't work. But they do.

This was kind of a replay. I had read most of the original orenronen LP back in... 2012, 2013? I only now have actually played it. And it's good. It's really good. I'm glad I went through it, and I'm glad I went through it with my fiancé, and I'm glad he knew nothing of any of the twists, and I'm glad I got to experience someone experiencing those twists for the first time.

SCARLET NEXUS, June 4-June 6, canceled

This was a second attempt after a first attempt in 2022 got deep into Yuito's story before I aborted it.

It's not for me. Not to say I don't like it--I do. A lot. I wish I could play this game. But I demand such fucking perfection from myself when playing it that I get too caught up by how poorly I'm playing to enjoy myself and actually let myself proceed.

I had to stop because I just wasn't having fun. I'm sad about it.

Risky Sanctuary, June 10

This is one of those games that I hope the developer comes back to, not to spruce up but to make anew. Because it's a really fun concept that basically got held back by being made in a month for a jam.

It really shouldn't take that long to clean come off of a wall.

HYPNOSCREEN, June 10

I keep forgetting I gotta play this more.

Parasite Eve, June 9-June 15

I'm still not super sure how I feel about this one.

The plot is fun but it never becomes compelling. There's an obviously evil scientist and he does obviously evil things. Never a good sign.

The gameplay is fun but it never hits nearly the level of intricacy and care that a close relative, Vagrant Story, does.

The dungeons are well-designed, though, and even if the setting is New York, it feels... fresh? It feels like NYC is always a backdrop in games and its specifics aren't important to it (see: Prototype). Parasite Eve actually cares that it's in NYC and it goes to locations there. The game feels like the developers enjoyed making it.

Also the OST is awesome. And Daniel fucking jumping out of the helicopter, getting lit on fire, throwing the bullets to Aya, landing in the water, and surviving is by far the coolest shit I've ever seen in anything ever.

This feels like a game you have to play at least once. I don't know why it feels that way; it just does.

WASTE EATER, June 17

It asks for like 20 minutes of your time and makes you cry. It's awesome.

EXPERIMENT: GROCERIES, June 17

I was more bored than spooked. It was a good try and maybe someone else will find it more fun than I did.

I'm sure if I replayed it and turned a critical eye to it I could talk at length about it. But I just don't want to.

I feel like if you're going to make uncanny the grocery store, there's other ways to do it.

Final Fantasy X: HD, sometime in 2023-sometime in 2023

We're about to see schedule issues. You'll find out why later.

This was, obviously, a replay.

I swear, this game gets better every single time I play it. I don't know what it is. It's such a smart, insightful game, with lovingly crafted characters. I love the inexorable northward journey, the feeling like you're constantly outrunning something even if you know you're running straight into the very thing you're outrunning.

Maybe it's because once you're aware of the spiral, its pull becomes that much stronger. I swear, I cry more with each playthrough, maybe because it just becomes all the more apparent how hopeless the journey is, and how much strength it takes to hope regardless. Yuna and Tidus are fantastic.

The gameplay ages like a fine wine, too. I know, it's turn-based, so it's hard to get clunky, but the game knows how it's being lenient to you and it knows just how to turn it against you. It's a system you can get better at. It's a game that rewards you in proportion to the time you're willing to put into it.

I don't need to tell you that FFX is a masterpiece, I hope. But it's worth reminding ourselves that it is. Because I think it's willing to be vulnerable in a way that most games just aren't anymore. I think the only Final Fantasy game that I've played that is more vulnerable than X is XIII. I respect the hell out of that.

(Speaking of, another honorable mention from the end of 2022 is my replay of the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy--and frankly, my love and appreciation for those games grew only deeper. They rule!)

You can talk about X forever. You can live in its world. It's fantastic, and it's always worth returning to.

Even if you have to make Yuna dance again, at least you know there'll be a time when she won't have to anymore.

Succubus Academia, September?-September 16

I tend to stay away from RPG Maker games, not for any valid reason but because creators, especially of eroge, tend not to really edit much. They end up looking fairly samey, with similar gameplay. Menus don't get edited, music is pretty bland, it's a fantasy setting... Exceptions exist, like Miwashiba's games ("that's a different engine!" yeah well they're still well-crafted despite being Made Like That) and, apparently Succubus Academia.

I won't tell you what tag I searched to find it on DLSite but anyway, I found it, I got it, I played it, and I loved it.

The map graphics are standard RPG Maker fare, sure, but the battles are totally custom and they're actually really fun. The music, though, the music fucking rules. I was there to bust a move, not bust a nut, I swear.

The concept is really fun too. "The only way to proceed is to literally get killed the right way. Sorry! But hey, at least you'll save the world. Snrk." Coupled with a battle system that actually has a really fun push-pull kind of resource management/health system, it just works. It helps that the battles all have Live 2D animation work going on, too.

Give this one a shot (no pun intended) if you like eroge. Seriously.

Dohna Dohna, sometime in September?-sometime in October

All right, look. It's not the best at anything. But it's pretty good at everything.

The character designs rule. The color palettes are awesome. The gameplay is fun. The OST is actually pretty outstanding. The combat is really fun. The mechanics are interesting. The writing has a lot of care put into it.

Alicesoft wanted to celebrate its anniversary and they were welcome to do it. I enjoyed celebrating with them.

Kirakira best girl. Even if Joker is truly best girl.

Baldur's Gate 3, sometime in October-November 14

One of the first sounds you hear in this game is a Wilhelm scream. This is a subtly masterful introduction to the game, as it signals to attentive players a lot about the artistic experience they're about to embark on: It will be more or less the same as everything else they've ever experienced, just remixed so it will hopefully be less noticeable.

And that's the thing. We've seen everything that BG3 does before, over and over, and we're so used to seeing all of these signs and tropes that it's actually become difficult to tell when they're being used poorly. BG3 throws so much of the same old shit at the wall and it can only stick because the shit that's there from last time still hasn't dried.

But here's the thing: I don't even know if any of its shit sticks. It's all so bad.

For instance, the party. Each individual party member is a collection of about 3 traits, plus their own unique brand of "horny for you." They're about as complex as late-stage Tales characters, but they have way less charm because they don't have anything like skits to round them out. In fact, because there's no guarantee that you'll have X or Y party member, or that they'll be present for conversation A, your party doesn't really have conversations together so much as they just talk through you like you're a telephone. You don't really have a party. You are a guy who has friends.

So you drag along this uninteresting, blandly-designed crew of the same fucking shit you've seen a billion times (literally one dude's whole thing is "I'm a vampire and I have vampire problems") who never really engage with each other (they'll maybe trade quips here and there, and they've got some dialogue they'll run through ambiently when specific ones are in the party together, but it's clear that This Does Not Matter) through a pretty standard fantasy world that by its own popularity offers little novelty. As you do so you meet asshole upon asshole who has a quick trait or two and says things in a European accent and maybe you'll get the scummiest Narrator I've ever heard say something smarmy based on a passive roll you'll probably fail mid-conversation. Go kill some shit and come back and maybe I'll try to help you not die. Idiot.

But you can't not die. You need to keep dying, and people need to keep failing to help you not die, or people need to keep trying to kill you because you're dying the wrong way for them, or else there'd be no reason to have the game. Honestly, if you lost the tadpoles before you killed the final boss, like, two party members would probably just outright try to kill each other, and everyone else would fuck off back to their shitty little lives, except for the ones who managed to escape their shitty little lives, in which case I guess the adventure continues! I don't feel like any of these people, with maybe three exceptions, would actually keep litigating the campaign if their lives weren't on the line.

But hey, even if almost every time someone speaks it's just to either whine about how hard they have it or to criticize you for a choice you made or to give you a quest because everything in Faerûn is your fucking problem, at least you get to have the gameplay! At least you get to slog through some of the most bullshit combat encounters they can throw at you with their barely-working mess of a battle system! With the most boring bosses imaginable save one! (Why is Gortash the only fun boss? Why does he get to have those explosives systems that aren't anywhere else?)

But oh, you get to make so many choices! You can be whoever you want, so long as they're someone who'll make any of these specific choices. Fuck off.

Meanwhile the music makes you want to fucking tear your hair out because I swear to god every single track uses the exact same leitmotif and it is so boring. Oh my god this game takes absolutely no fucking risks with anything. There's no fucking reason to play this thing. It's miserable. It's miserable, it'll make you save scum, its loading times (to load saves; loading areas is quick as can be!) are atrocious, and every time you have an option to pick something cool, you get fucking despised for it. You can become a fucking mind flayer and the game makes sure to tell you you're a complete fucking scumbag for doing it.

I hate this game. I hate it so fucking much. It is so bad and it has nothing redeemable in it and it has nothing noteworthy in it and worst of all it is just not at all fun. It's awful.

Game of the Year. Play it.

Monark, November 25-December 3

Time to fulfill the promise I made back with Poison Control.

This game is good. It's not great. Maybe it's pretty good. I liked it a lot. I enjoyed playing it.

Does it have problems? Sure. Could they be easily corrected? Yep. Does that hamper my perception of it? Of course.

As I said, sometimes you just wanna play a mid game.

After I finished Monark, I checked out its TV Tropes page, and I of course linked to "So Okay, It's Average." The Quotes page on that trope all seem to imply that just being all right is somehow worse than being bad.

I can't agree with that.

First of all, I think the binary of "good" and "bad" art is a false one. There's value in literally all art. There's something to mine, to find, to take home, to use, to learn--to whatever--in everything. Meaning and worth aren't exclusive to the good.

Maybe something isn't as good as it could be, but it's certainly what it is, and nothing else is as good at being it. Monark maybe isn't a great game but it's awesome at being Monark. I doubt any other game could compare.

So many articles from game writers and journalists lament the concept that "there's so many great games out there that it's just impossible to want to make time for anything that isn't great." That's... such a sad state, to me. Imagine playing a game only because it is considered "great." Imagine needing everything you play to have an award or a green Metacritic score just so you'll make time for it.

I don't think these writers mean to do this when they say it, but they're really benefiting a capitalist mindset. Companies have to do everything they can to get your attention. They have to make "great" games, or you won't play them. They need hype machines. They need stellar reviews. They need people talking. They need public reception to manufacture their game's own greatness, so that it will be great and then be played and then make money. If the incentive to get good reviews is to make money then the game is just a product and it wasn't made to be art.

I don't think people purposely set out to make shitty games or average games. I just think they set out to make the game they make, and the question is how well they achieve that goal. And that's entirely personal. It's something that only the creators can decide.

But in the end, some of the creators are producers and directors and executives at publishing companies who look at games in terms overhead, costs, projected income, earnings statements, financial reports.

But these are the people who make great games. Because they have to money to spend to make them great, the clout they need to keep exploiting their specific workers, and the agents necessary to make sure that reviewing publications will be predisposed to helping make their game great (you know, like what Nintendo relies on pretty much exclusively). The game doesn't have to be good. People just have to be told that it is, and then when enough people believe, they'll police the narrative so much that others will be scared to voice their opinion without getting a ton of clown emojis in their inboxes.

I'm not saying that's every "great" game. I'm willing to argue it's probably most Games of the Year as determined by Big Industry Figure Geoff Keighley, though (borne out for sure with 2022's winner; Elden Ring is so mediocre, dude).

Anyway, there's no need to play all the "great" games that are out. You know what you can play instead? The games you want to play.

You don't have to agree with me that sometimes you just wanna play a mid game. But you'll probably agree that sometimes you just wanna play a specific game. Good, bad, or mid, it's what you want to play because it, in some way, speaks to you.

That's all you need.

Mediterranea Inferno, December 4-December 6

Until now, I was cautious about pandemic stories.

The problem has always been that, sure, the lockdown happened for a year (in the US, at least), but it was only a year. It was major, to be sure, and I'm not downplaying that, but in the grand scheme of human history, it was a year. There's no guarantee (or even, necessarily, reason to believe) anything like it will happen again for a long time. So, I thought, how applicable could stories that come from it be to the future?

Don't get me wrong, I always recognized that in the lockdown was stories about isolation, grief, illness, fear, loss. But those are all distinctly human things we've been writing about since we could write. They weren't unique to the pandemic. Why use the very specific imagery of the lockdown to tell a story about those things when there's definitely more universal things to use?

I'm, as always, an idiot.

Beyond just the fact that it was an event and we'll never stop needing to take stock of it, to examine it, to see who we were and became through it, the pandemic was a world-ending phenomenon, a sea change, a new way of understanding ourselves, or misunderstanding ourselves, or misunderstanding others.

Mediterranea Inferno is about having lost yourself. The lockdowns made three young Italian men lose themselves, and when they came back together in 2022 they found that they had lost each other, too. It presents continuity with their histories: their self-destruction wasn't inevitable, but the pandemic forcing them to grapple with their places in life created living nightmares of isolation, grief, powerlessness, loss of identity, and loneliness.

When you start a new game, a card informs you that the creator made it "about his generation." He seems to think that we're lost, not in the way that the Lost Generation was, but in a different way. Whereas in the 1920s we lost faith in symbols, institutions, and humanity, in the 2020s we lost faith in ourselves and each other.

It's terrifying to admit that we can't do this alone, and that the crutches we always used to get through each day were other people. Claudio relied on his family name; it lost all meaning when his father blew his inherited fortune, revealing that there isn't necessarily a continuity between past success (Nino) and the present. Mida relied on the ways he could keep people at arm's length and when he couldn't get closer to the only person he wanted to grow closer to, he decided that others were there for him to take. And Andrea was never able to identify precisely what he needed from other people to keep him going, mistaking sex and skin-deep pleasure for the validation he so desperately craved.

Of course, if one of them gets accepted to Heaven during the Assumption, one of the others kills their friends and, in one case, accidentally himself. And if none of them make it--or if all of them do--they tell themselves that they're no longer friends. They walk away. They fall to the ground. They feel, sharply, the absence. They try to feel it in the crutches they replaced each other with (the past, the prestige, the plenty). But it isn't there.

Alternatively, if they suffer enough, they can give their spiritual guide through their pain an opportunity as well, and through him learn that they went through all of it to encourage them to revolt against their fathers, against the endless history that suffuses every rock in Italy. Paraphrasing: "There's never been an Italian Revolution. We've always been satisfied with what our fathers gave us, so long as we had permission to kill our brothers." He, like so many, wanted the pandemic to become a watershed moment, one that spurred on change, made the world a better place.

And the Sun Guys reject it. Their revolt is to refuse to be told what to do.

Just give them time to figure out what to do next.

I don't think you can tell this story without the pandemic.

This game is bleak. It's harsh. The style is immaculate. The soundtrack rules. Play it.

Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, June 16-ongoing

Here is why the schedule slipped.

I like this game a lot. I burned myself out on it. Over the course of months.

I'm still not done. I'm not letting myself uninstall it until I'm done.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Pokémon Fool's Gold, unknown

The new music was great and the sprites were awesome and I love Eris. But to me this was mostly a fun new way to experience Gen 2. That's not a bad thing, really. Gen 2 isn't great, but there's a lot about it to love.

Pokémon Unbound, unknown

This and the previous entry are the only two Pokémon mods or fangames or whatever that I've ever played. I'm glad I started here!

If you're into playing fangames or whatever you know about this one and you know it rules. I'm not gonna bother praising it directly, though I'll say it earns all the good things said about it.

For me, projects like these really remind me of why we're still drawn to the Pokémon series even when the people in charge of it keep making pretty drastic decisions. I've said for years that the series is for kids and that it's not only fine but right to keep its focus firmly on kids, but Black and White proved that we can actually have our cake and eat it, too. We can have a game for kids that is also just flat-out a good game.

But for some reason, even if I ended up loving Gen 7 more than I did Gen 5, I feel like it's harder to call Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon good games? It's more like I can call them good Pokémon games. But are they good games?

I want them to be.

But what I want Pokémon games to be is totally different from what anyone else wants Pokémon games to be. Fool's Gold and Unbound confirmed that to me. I mean, I always knew it was true, but they confirmed it. What surprised me about them was that they were also good. That even if they weren't my vision, I still enjoyed them as a vision for Pokémon.

But to return to what I said a few paragraphs ago: We're still drawn to Pokémon because in each new entry we find more promises. We find new things to enjoy, to marvel at, to wonder about, to fill in. Every new mainline entry, especially since Black and White, feels like a new reinterpretation of what Pokémon is and can be, and even if we as fans don't always agree, we still have the conversation and we're still often compelled enough by something in the new interpretation that we hang onto it and let it be a part of what Pokémon is to us.

For as much as it stays the same, Pokémon is very much a living franchise, one that changes and, no pun intended, evolves. Maybe it does so in different ways than we might want, but there's nothing stopping us from knowing better. Well, nothing except Nintendo, a company that is more than welcome to fucking die immediately.

Pokémon, both the franchise and its fan works, is constantly grasping toward perfection. But we all know that perfection doesn't exist. We head towards and we know that we'll fail and we also know that even if we were to attain perfection, we'd reject it. Perfection is an illusion, a cruel one; even were it not, it would still be cruel, a poison pill. Real beauty isn't in perfection, it's in striving for it knowing you'll fail. It's about being weak, bad even, useless even, and still being loved. It's about trying, hard, getting nowhere close, and smiling afterward. It's about working together to make something new, something that loves, something that brings us all together to love even harder. It's about the struggle; it's about the effort; it's about the handshake after the battle.

Wherever Pokémon goes, no matter who's propelling it along, it'll be Pokémon. And that's what I want.

[minuy600]

Atari 2600 Chronicles 1980 #1 - Adventure

Let's do a quick switcheroo here. Although Space Invaders seems to have a confirmed release date and Adventure does not, both appear to be from March 1980 and I actually had the chance to play the one earlier in the alphabet on my shiny new Atari 2600+! So do forgive my slight skewing of the chronology here.

Believe me, this system feels like magic in breathing new lives into these old as shit games. Yeah, playing them in a big meaty compilation is still nice and probably controls better in some cases, but nothing beats slamming in a cart, then using the original joystick and levers. You can really feel yourself fit into the mind of someone playing this system in the early 1980s.

As for the game itself? I have conflicting feelings. On one hand, it's a revolution. The ability to reset the game after being 'eaten' by a dragon/duck/abomination and for the progress to be retained after that is incredibly welcomed. I enjoy the puzzle solving aspect of it, very much too. Took me a good half hour to get the route of the full game figured out, and I can't deny and say I wanted more of it.

Then there's also the first BIG easter egg in gaming, the Warren Robinett credit that you get if you poke your head around in the Black Castle and find the tiny gray dot, essentially the final dungeon of the adventure. If you combine that with the randomized mode that comes included with the cart, you could get quite a lot of mileage out of speedrunning this one or challenging yourself via, for example, not using the sword or trying to go deathless.

That is a big *if* however. If you don't make up your own things to do, the randomized mode is all you have. And that one gets old dramatically fast. The bat-stealing-objects-mechanic is the prime example of a headache to me, but the worst part has to be continually going back into the painfully flickering zones this game contains. Whenever you get unlucky with the object spawns, get ready for your eyes to get gauged out!

I liked but didn't love Adventure. For everything it does right, there's another thing that makes it a hard sell. Good thing you can essentially sneeze this game up nowadays.

The Verdict

Graphics (3): Agh, yikes. I will compliment how well the game manages to articulate the extremely simple visuals via it's manual and worth of mouth. What happens on the screen however is crummy to the highest degree. Nothing more primitive than playing as a shape, using an arrow as a sword, while a derpy-looking bath toy hunts you down. The game world is hardly imaginative, the most sucked in I got was the feeling of actually being inside the castles in the first 3 seconds after entering. And i'll insist, the dark zones get so crowded sometimes that the screen flashes heavily and the game slows down! No offense to the legacy of the title, but the level of compensation to fit it on the cart was absolutely too much this time around.

Sound (6): The sounds that are there? Pretty fun. The sounds that aren't? Too plentiful to count. Most of the time, you're walking through silence. Only when there's action on the screen, like say, fighting a dragon, you get graced with some wackiness. Wouldn't have hurt to have a quiet walking noise in there, or even an attempt at music. Unfortunate that it gets bogged down like that, I cherish what was included.

Fun Factor (7): There's some fun left in the tank of this one. I played it largely blind other than knowing that there was that one easter egg of yore and having some bits and pieces of Youtube videos etched in my mind. The way the light exploration clicked in my head was worthwhile as all hell for someone who rarely plays 'complex' titles. Found myself happily surprised whenever I would see a new object or figured out a fast route to one of the castles, refreshing to have that element in there in such an early game.

Comes at a cost though. Once you're near the end game, and the bat has swapped around all your objects, it's exceptionally frustrating to have to go find them over and over again. The dragons start getting increasingly agressive too- the chalice seems to pull in the red one in particular. Pushing the reset button over and then get the enemy stuck in a place where it will kill ya nearly instant is still something I don't like 43 years later in a game like Minecraft. It gets worse in the randomized mode, once got all 3 dragons in the same place (a dark area, no less). Became so unplayable after that I quit then and there.

Yeah, mixed feelings!

Longevity (7): Enjoyment may vary. Either you wanna keep playing this after one finish in the second mode... or ya don't. I see myself popping this one on once or twice in the future. Having a randomized mode, flawed as it is, is very novel. In the 80s, this would've been like a 9/10 for that reason and the discovery of the easter egg some time later. Say it with me now, 'it's good compilation fodder'.

In Conclusion

[subconsciousmysteries]

Musings about Enneagram 8

being cringe is part of being an 8. 8s are antisocial and apathetic to how they present themselves, by definition. growth for 8s is actually about being less cringe and more refined (8 -> 2, growing into an image-conscious Superego type).

every time I see 8 described as image-conscious in any way I eyeroll into the back of my head. every time I see someone say "8s would never express their emotions like this because it would be too vulnerable" I eyeroll into the back of my head.

8s do not fear vulnerability, they straight up deny that they are vulnerable and then jump in to doing whatever they want. Seeing emotional over-expressiveness as vulnerability is a 3 and 6 -> 3 thing. 8s actually idealize the over-expression of emotions, because of how unstoppable it makes you feel to indulge yourself. Hence why they are so cringe. 8s are not fixated on looking a certain way for power. 8s are fixated on catharsis. Lust. what feels ultimately good to my body 8 is about CONFUSING true power with what makes them feel powerful in the moment. The worst 8s achieve catharsis through murder and torture. The average 8 achieves catharsis through being casually overdramatic about everything, ESPECIALLY their own emotions.

8 is about expelling your instincts whenever you feel like it. doing whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like it. 8s are antisocial, meaning, they are apathetic and numb to the expectations of society; so they do not care as much as others do if their expression comes off as cringey. They still care about being validated like all humans do, and they are sort of blind to their deep need for other people's validation to make them feel satiated (this is part of the 8 -> 2 line, how 8 resists 2)... what consciously matters to an 8 is that they can express their anger and feel good about it. Anger is an emotion. An emotion that you can channel all other emotions into. If you are attached to your instincts at all, you will know that emotional catharsis feels fucking good, therefore it makes sense for 8 to be one of the most cringe and artistic types.

to NOT express your feelings whenever you feel like it feels like being chained, which is the worst fear of an 8.

"for what is a man? what has he got? if not himself then he has not to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels"

-----

but then it gets complicated.

when 8s disintegrate to 5, they start to hide their feelings. The motivation for this hiding isn't the desire to look cool, nor shame about the feelings. 8s are always dying to express their feelings. The motivation behind an 8 hiding their feelings is 5-ISH PARANOIA about being deprived of literal resources if they express their feelings. these resources can include people, who the 8 reduces to resources as part of their body fixation and their denial of 2 sensitivity to other people.

At 2, 8s stand out proudly as bold heroes and acknowledge their relationships to others holistically, not just in terms of "what can I get" "how does this satisfy me". 8s are in resistance of 2 -- their need to be seen as good, have pride and be involved in giving / receiving unconditional love -- so they Deny how badly they crave other people's validation and how badly they need other people to see them as cool and good, like 2s do. Yet, no matter how in-denial an 8 is of their 2 needs, an 8 always remains aware, from an emotionally detached, pragmatic standpoint, that being an outcast is not good for them in their quest for independence, because standing out too much means being crushed and persecuted.

this is actually what causes more rage to build up for the 8. because emotionally, the 8 couldnt care less if they are an outcast... the 8 actually wants to stand out boldly and proudly and be validated for doing so, like the 2 does. but 8s feel forced by the system, by all the forces that dont give them the money and security and validation they feel entitled to, to hide and start playing games to fulfil their needs (8 -> 5). this pragmatism goes against the 8's true desire, causing them to hate life and be 1000x more angry.

FOR EXAMPLE: If I express my views in full-force, the SJW crowd could absolutely stalk me and try to get me fired from my jobs. So I hide for the sake of making money, and my rage builds over this. How dare they make me hide? I am allowed to say and do whatever I want! but dear god, I want money too...

Disintegrated 8s feel forced to blend into the system like 5s do, and they feel a deep rage and resentment about this. "Tarzan forced to work 9 to 5" as my good friend once described it. 8s are conflicted between their need to stand out proudly, and their need to rationally blend in and hide for the sake of greed.

I personally hide my feelings on social media because I'm afraid of getting fired. Still I'm incapable of not making cringe blogs at all times to air my hidden feelings out. These blogs are hidden, like the 5. this blog right now could be considered one of them. the blogs don't have my real name or face on them. they are outlets for my catharsis and that's it. I need that catharsis or die. If I can't express my rage somewhere private then I express it to the world and it probably hurts people... 8 -> 2 integration is about learning to express rage to the world in a way that is moral, good, proud and heroic, rather than expressing rage in a way that stems from self-absorption and a persecution complex (8 -> 5)

8s also objectify people around them. They're afraid of losing friends because they might need money one day and their friends are able to give them money. they're afraid of losing their lover because nobody makes them feel lust like their lover does and they confuse lust with true love. Shit like that. 8s are hyper-aware of their bodily needs to the point they objectify people to serve them, unconsciously, and the confusion between lust and love arises. 8 -> 2 involves learning the difference and learning to love people selflessly, not as drugs or objects

[hiswordsarekisses]

By Mike Winger:

Gratitude is more of a discipline than a reflex. It’s way more important than many realize, because it’s not just about making you happy and it’s something we have to do very deliberately, lest we fall into deception.

One way to stir it up is to regularly and verbally give thanks for what blessings you have, or are promised to one day have in Christ.

When we read the many times the Bible tells us to “be thankful” and think that it’s something that happens automatically or not at all we make the mistake of acting like our thanksgiving is something that happens TO us instead of something we choose to do.

If I fall into the mistake of viewing it that way, of thinking my lack of gratitude is merely the result of my current circumstances combined with my own unalterable attitude, then I may become an ungrateful and bitter person who sees my own discontent as something I have no control over.

Scripture teaches us to be thankful at all times. And it teaches this as a command, not a hopeful ideal. But the Bible doesn’t play sentimental games with thankfulness, pretending that it’s always easy or always feels great. Here are a few principles about thankfulness that I find in Scripture.

1) Being thankful is not merely an attitude, it involves the outward act of saying “thank you” to God for specific things.

2) Being thankful doesn’t involve minimizing the pains or horrors of life. Even in the book of Lamentations, when Jeremiah is crying over the utter horrors and devastation they have experienced as a result of rebellion against God, he is thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning. He’s thankful that they still have a future hope. The fact that future joys will outweigh present suffering, for those in Christ, is always a rational and sufficient source of thankfulness even in the worst of circumstances.

3) Lack of thankfulness can make us bitter and blinded to the reality of things. We can think we are being a “realist” when we have only decided to focus solely on that which pains us and ignored either the blessings we already have or the promises we have in Christ for the future. A true “realist” would be an optimist after reading about the coming kingdom of Christ and the comforts and joys of eternity. We see this in the ungrateful, complaining and rude attitude of the Israelites when they cried that Moses had only brought them into the wilderness to kill them. How blind their unthankful attitudes had made them. Sure, we all understand that it was incredibly challenging to go through such things, but few of them understood that what they were actually going through was part of their own deliverance while they learned to have faith in God on their way to a Promised Land. Be thankful. Out loud. On purpose.

[gorematchala]

I think my final verdict on FFXV is that it sucks really bad but, as a movie, I like watching it suck cuz theres good stuff in there, and its just kinda fascinating overall

The game has absolutely no value to me in terms of actual gameplay. It's got bad combat on top of tedious open world bullshit. Don't care. But as movies on youtube...

Kingsglaive is actually kinda good, but that may be biased by the fact that Aaron Paul is the lead, and also that I watched it immediately after Advent Children which is the worst garbage ever. The story has two plot threads that proceed in a logical manner and then converge at the 70% mark and resolve in a satisfying conclusion. Thats all I can ask of a film. Advent Children sucks so bad I still can't believe it after 48 entire hours

The main game movie is mostly inoffensive even though it only kinda makes sense? It's totally fine once you get what's happening, but there isn't enough information in there. But I like Noctis, and Ardyn is the best. There are other characters as well

Episode Gladiolus is nothing

Episode Prompto was shockingly bad, like holy fuck. The shit opens on 3 minutes of walking in the snow, followed by Metal Gear, then Prompto has a meltdown because he finds out he was grown in a tube, which doesnt really seem to do anything for him. Like he isn't extra strong as a result or anything. So he tries to burn his barcode off and hes screaming and crying in the snow while I'm sitting here remembering how little of a fuck Noctis and them give when he tells them. Like all this shit happens and hes freaking out and they go yeah who cares. Then he spends 25 minutes shooting an RE5 turret at a big worm. Awful

Episode Ignis was kinda cool. I like Ravus well enough and Ignis is at least capable and good at what he does if nothing else. I think I came around on him despite his britishness because Prompto is annoying and Gladio is kind of an asshole for no reason randomly. And the realest moment in the whole base game is the two of them arguing over whether or not Ignis should be allowed to travel with them like he isn't there listening to them. That and Gladio dealing with his own frustration about everything that happened at Altissia by yelling at Noctis for being sad while Ignis is blind. Basically using Ignis's situation as justification to vent on someone. In the middle of this weird chopped up shell of a plot they take a moment to very accurately portray how the people around someone will often make their newfound disability about them. It was neat

Episode Ardyn was both the best and worst part of the whole plot. It justifies his motivation and shows you exactly how we got where we did, but at the same time, it sucks when Bahamut explains that none of this matters because it was preordained by fate. It made me feel for Ardyn because he almost existed outside that fate but was still bound by it. Cursed to spend his whole life waiting for Noctis to be born and kill him, just because that's the hand he was dealt by his own brother. Or was it his brother? Was it fate? Where did the plague come from? Why does melting people give him their memories? Why can he sometimes stop time? Who decided upon this prophecy? Why was Ardyn made the embodiment of darkness? Why did killing him solve the problem?

The whole thing is stupid when you view it as a series of events that happen just because they have to. But there's still something about it that makes me want to like it. Maybe it's just the ghost of Versus XIII. The promise of spending the game walking around that city instead of driving through the desert. Idk. But at the end of the day, Noctis is really good in Theatrhythm and he's fun to play as in Tekken, so I guess it was all worth it

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Addressing Potential Controversy [Into the Ocean Arc]

//Sup!

//Hey. it’s me, the mod, coming at you with just a couple of things that I need to talk about in relation to the next arc of the story in Danganronpa Survivor, because for those in the know, and who have figured out a synopsis for the next arc based on my hints, I imagine there are one or two people who are either confused, or possibly even upset, at what’s coming.

//And I will reinforce now that no one has actually called me out on it, at least not maliciously, so don’t go thinking that I’m being attacked. I know a vast majority of you guys are highly above that, and if you aren’t, then you don’t deserve to be here.

//But I want to take the time to do two things. Firstly, address my line of thinking, and secondly, enlighten the people who aren’t in the know and are confused as to what I want to talk about.

//That said, I will be posting the majority of this rant underneath the cut, because it contains some spoilers for the ensuing story of the next arc. Nothing major, but even so, if you want to go in completely blind, then don’t click Read More.

//But if you are curious, then keep reading.

//I see you’ve decided to continue. Alright, let’s do this.

//First of all, a basic synopsis of this arc is that it picks up shortly after the previous one, which we have just finished. More specifically, after the events of “The Melancholy Of Nagito Komaeda” three weeks have passed in-universe time.

//We transition from the escapades of Hajime and the gang, over to Washington DC, Capital City of the USA, where Makoto, Kyoko, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, Hina and Kuripa are all living together in a moving camper vehicle bought by Kyoko, with the intention of hiding away so that Zetsubou do not find them. This has all been established previously.

//But during the story events of the arc, the Future Foundation meet a rag tag band of societal rebels, and due to certain circumstances, end up forming a pact with them. With a lot on the line for both groups, they work together to overthrow one of the state’s biggest financial conglomerate’s. 

//This group of rebels call themselves the Freedom Foundation, but really, they aren’t so much a “foundation” as they are just a band, and they are the highlight of this arc, and the reason why I make this post in the first place. The reason? Because the characters are from THIS game...

//The full title of this game is “Hyper! Danganronpa H2O - Abandon All Hope.” This is an English Danganronpa fangame created by a person named Milkpunches. It is known for being the first complete English Danganronpa fangame, and was based in a RP group the developer was part of.

//Originally it was downloadable on Microsoft Windows, and ran on the Official Hamster Republic Role Playing Game Construction Engine, abbreviated as OHRRPGCE or OHR. Unfortunately, the game is no longer available to be downloaded, so all that remains of it are a few gameplays left on YouTube.

//If you want to check the story for yourself, I recommend doing so through a Let’s Play by USAviator. He has some of the funnier takes on the game and covers basically everything there is to cover.

//So the bottom line is that the characters from Hyper H2O are going to be in Survivor. In fact, the arcs name, “Into the Ocean” is in direct reference to it. Not all of them mind you, just a few. And you may be wondering why it is that I need to sort of address this as a result of potential controversy. Well, I’ll tell you.

//Hyper H2O is widely considered to be one of the worst Danganronpa fangames in history, and for those who know of it, one of the worst video game fangames IN GENERAL. And there are an assortment of reasons why. One of the greatest takes of the game I’ve seen is by a Reddit user named u/DragonFirePie, who played through the whole fangame and I will post their review here to get a better idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/danganronpa/comments/d5qvdo/hyper_danganronpa_h2o_an_awful_fangame_made_by_an/

//If you’re not up for all that deep reading though, I will quickly summarize some of the key points. For starters, there’s the characters, and the biggest issue most people seem to have with them is that amongst the typical 16 students that the game throws at you, every single one of them has only one of two types of personality right from the get go. Either they are overly and annoyingly nice and friendly, or they are overly and annoyingly rude and detestable.

//The “glaring” exception, is a character named Caeser...who has no personality.

//That doesn’t necessarily mean that every character is the exact same, and there is enough to differentiate them, but even so, there’s a severe line when there are characters who are nice and friendly to the point where it’s annoying, and characters that shit on you for LITERALLY no reason. Seriously, a selection of the cast just take one look at the protagonist, Maya, decide she is annoying, and call her out on it, when they DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER.

//Speaking of Maya, she’s another problem. Personally speaking, I like a fair share of her dialogue. As a character, she’s much like Hajime, in that she has his bluntness and isn’t afraid to call people out on their BS, but imagine that, an amp it up to 11. It’s interesting, funny, and she IS a step away from a typical protagonist character, but it does somewhat come at the cost of likeability.

//Take for example, a character like Kuripa. One of the things that makes Kuripa so controversial is that he can be an enjoyable source of entertainment at one point, and a detestable cretin at another, due to his trait of constantly changing personalities and opinions based on the situation. He’s problematic, but he CAN be nice and welcoming when the time calls for it, so he is redeemable. Imagine if Kuripa at his ABSOLUTE WORST was a protagonist for a full game, and you’ve got Maya Canzanilla, the protagonist of H2O.

//The SECOND issue with the game is it’s gameplay, but that mainly has to do with it’s engine. As mentioned previously, Hyper H2O is made in OHRRPGCE; open-source, "All-in-one" game creation system. It was designed to allow the quick creation of 2D role-playing video games, and as an engine, is used to make basic games swiftly and easily.

//Which, in short, makes it a bad engine to create a Danganronpa fangame on, since it mainly constitutes to RPG’s and platformers. It could just be the case that there were limited options at the time of creation, so I can’t hold the logistics against the game, but as a result of using OHR, the class trial minigames are easy, and the mysteries are relatively easy to figure out. It just doesn’t have the same sense of fun or entertainment as an actual Danganronpa Class Trial, and that’s where the game falls super flat in terms of gameplay.

//And one last thing I will mention is the main issue a lot of people have with the game is in regards to it’s creator, Milkpunches. Now, I will be careful with what I say here, because this post is a critique of the game, and not done as a slight against the creator. I hold no spite against Milkpunches, and even if I did, I wouldn’t brazenly slag them off like this.

//I firmly believe that just because a content creator/author/person who made something is bad, that doesn’t mean the thing they made is ALSO bad. The best example I can think of is J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter. I’ve loved Harry Potter for years, and just because the author is acting disagreeable in recent times, doesn’t mean I’m immediately going to start disliking Harry Potter. I can enjoy something without giving two shits about who made it.

//The only reason I’m even talking about the creator is because they are one of the primary issues, and I do have a MAJOR problem with them in one regard. Namely, Hyper Danganronpa H2O wasn’t created simply to be an enjoyable fangame, but to spread Social Justice Warrior propaganda.

//Every character in H2O has a sexual alignment, gender identity or otherwise that isn’t completely straight. And that’s fine and all; I will stand for pride, now and forever, and I’m by no means opposed to a cast of a game that’s entirely made of trans or nonbinary or gay/lesbian characters; but what I DON’T like is that the entire game’s premise REVOLVES around this. It’s less like a Danganronpa that features LGBTQ+ characters, and more like an LGBTQ+ plotline and coming-out story that just so happens to be in a Killing Game.

//And it makes me wonder...what’s even the point?

//SJW’s are quite possibly some of the most detestable people that exist in the universe, and in the case of Milkpunches, the biggest problem people seem to have is that they respond very harshly to criticism. Regardless of whether it’s malicious or constructive. Again, like I said, I’m not making this post to slight the creator. I’m merely bringing it up in the case of it being a primary problem for the vast majority of fans.

//So that’s a basic breakdown of why Hyper Danganronpa H2O is “bad.” After all this, you may be wondering why it is that I want to put this very controversial game in my series. Well, there’s a reason, and it’s not simply because I like the game, because I don’t know if “like” is exactly the right word.

//Simply put, Hyper Danganronpa H2O is what I like to call the Sonic 06 of Danganronpa games. By that I mean that in terms of both gameplay, and aspects of development, it is rather terrible...but it CAN be fixed.

//I personally believe that if certain decisions had been made differently, Sonic 06 could have been a masterpiece, but as a result of poor decisions in development, writing and gameplay, it ended up being one of the most notoriously bad video games in history. Which is why I’m so grateful that Project 06 is being made, because even though 06 still has problems with it’s story, P-06 is working to better the gameplay and graphics.

//And that’s also how I believe it is with H2O, and what I intend to do with the characters present in Survivor. And if anyone’s going to try to call me out on “Oh, you can’t just take matters into your own hands” or “rewrite characters to better suit your own tastes” I hope you’re aware that I’ve DONE THAT BEFORE.

//Specifically, with the characters in the blog that are from V2: New World Order, Blowback and Rebirth/RebirthVoices. No character from those two projects are exactly like their characters from the original projects, and I take liberties and change them where I can.

//For example, in RebirthVoices, Narumi Osone and Akira Tsuchiya are a duo of Mastermind’s, but they aren’t nearly as close as they are in Survivor. RebirthVoices influenced their relationship, as well as Akira’s love for Despair and Narumi’s love for Hope, but little more than that. The original Narumi Osone wasn’t a battle hungry ball of homicide, so much as she was a bratty little kid like Hiyoko.

//Additionally, the Blowback Characters have this as well. Barely any of them, save for a few like Mikihiko, have the same talents and capabilities they did the original game. For example, Yosaku Fujita in Survivor is a greedy cabaret manager, who turns around and sees the light after he loses his place in society. In Blowback, he is a chubby, laid back music composer, who means nobody any harm. His character is COMPLETELY different. So for anyone who wants to complain that I changed the characters...you missed your chance long ago.

//What I intend to do with the Hyper H2O characters is a mix of what I do with the Rebirth characters, as well as the Another 2 characters, which basically means that I’m going to take liberties and change up a few things, but I’m going to keep things mostly the same, including each characters individual history. Not like what I do with Misuzu for example, where she is a Shrine Maiden in Rebirth, but a hostess, and Misaku Rokuhana’s daughter in Survivor. It’s not going to be the same case, for example, Maya is still a barista, and the events that happened in her life before now STILL happened. Same goes for the rest.

//And there are a few things about H2O that I genuinely like and see potential in. The main one being the dialogue. Many people may disagree, but despite H2O’s problematic storytelling, the dialogue is amazing, and unfortunately I can’t pick a good example because there’s a lot to choose from. It’s also chock full of clever and funny references to classical media, and it feels ORIGINAL.

//Secondly, for pixelated sprites made in an undesirable engine, the style and character designs aren’t bad. They don’t necessarily befit each person’s individual talents, but they don’t really NEED to. Think of something like the cast of Danganronpa 1, where they have certain aspects of their designs that give away their talents, but nothing really that major to the point where they’re easily guessable.

//And also, despite what I said about the severe limitations the OHR, the game still is able to retain the classic Danganronpa UI, in it’s own unique way.

//The last point I will make is in regards to something I heard about, but I’m not really certain of; but supposedly, Milkpunches is planning to remake the game with more playable characters, a new story, and new and better graphics and mechanics. If this is true, then it may be a sign that they are now acting upon the criticism they received, or are at least conscientiously aware that the game has a lot that’s left to be desired.

//That’s pretty much the summary, but I hope you’ll patiently await to see what I can do with these characters. Again, they’re not going to change much, unless it’s to fit the overall story of the arc. Personally, I think it’s interesting to see the same character handled by different writers, and I hope you’ll think the same with “Into the Ocean”

//If there are any more questions, I’m open to them, on the condition that they are genuine and mild as opposed to hostile, or hate-based.

-Mod

[nemaliwrites]

from chapter 3 of In Pursuit of the Uneatable - coming tomorrow!

Marinette has always been content to find the good in people. She was jealous of Kagami — maybe rightfully so, maybe not — but by putting those feelings aside, she’d found a genuinely nice person and managed to forge a friendship in the process. It was her mistake to think that the same thing might happen with Lila, to think that the other girl might have even a shred of goodness within her, instead of being an amalgamation of hate and evil and whatever else she was composed of.

And now, post-Marinette’s expulsion, Lila can only be furious. If things were bad before, she doesn’t even want to think about how much worse they can get; unfortunately, her brain doesn’t seem to have received the memo.

Marinette spirals. Thoughts of broken bones, of stolen test answers and misplaced necklaces fill her mind. The worst part with Lila is that she doesn’t even know what the best course of action is.

She’d played chess with her father a few times. Neither one of them was very good; it was mostly a way to pass the time, every time they thought it would be a good idea to take a little pause from video games and give their eyes a break from the screen. There was usually more trash-talking than actual playing, but the few times they’d managed to focus, Marinette had found herself quickly overwhelmed.

There were too many avenues for her opponent to attack from, too many areas she had to focus on defending while still somehow managing to plan out her own offense in the process. It was inevitable that her father would somehow figure out how to break through her defenses in one of her blind spots, or by diverting her attention.

Hawk Moth doesn’t operate like that; he’s straightforward, as is she. They might be at war, but there are still rules, still guidelines to follow: he sends an akuma, she purifies it, rinse and repeat.

(The addition of Sentibug whispers in the back of her mind, but she promptly proceeds to ignore it).