#Or a little kitschy souvenir shop......

[origamiyoda]

fuck ddude that antique shop post made me remember how bad I want to own a little bookshop or antique shop and live above it in a little apartment.

[nerdraging4point0]

Power Play // Chapter Eight // Hockey-Omens AU

Tropes and tags: RPF:AU hockey player romance, angsty romance, hidden relationship, forbidden relationship, smutty, MF, multiple POV. 

Content Warning: angsty romance, hockey player shenanigans, locker room talk, smutty, aggressive hockey players, PinV, MF relationship, possessive male, protective male.

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction.

Taglist(click to be added): @ladyveronikawrites @poisongirl616 @shilohrosechicken @th0ughts-pr4yers @meliferafaerie @curse-bearing-hips @letmeadoreyoux @transparentwitchnightmare @darling-millicent-aubrey @moranastray @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @collective-heartbreak @littlefoxkota @somebodyels3 @thisbicc @jakeygvf21 @cind6547 @lma1986 @loeytuan98 @xxkittenkissesxx @darkmxgician @sammyjoeee @malerieee @embracethereaper42 @nerdywitch20 @graveatspeople @sacredthefran @dominuslunae @skulliecadaver-blog @anameunmusical @thatchickwiththecamera @missduffsblog @jessicafg03 @lilrubles @iknownothingpeople @talialovesmiw @deathofpeaceofmiiind @shaydayhere @wild-child-7747

As I shuffle from foot to foot, waiting impatiently, the massive sphere looms over me, slowly turning to showcase the etched lettering that reads Universal Studios. The brilliant water show happening just behind me provides a melodic backdrop, but does little to soothe my growing unease. Across the way, crowds of excited guests pour through the front gates, many already wearing silly souvenir hats or clutching stuffed animals they bought. Their joyful shrieks echo from inside the park. But here I remain, alone, checking my phone again for any word from Noah who is now 15 minutes late. It would have been easier to carpool but I was so adamant on it only being casual I thought a car ride together would push the boundaries-what was I thinking?  I crane my neck, scanning the constant stream of park-goers for any sign of them. Meanwhile, just down the palm-tree lined streets, casual shoppers laugh and chat as they drift in and out of kitschy gift shops and overpriced restaurants.

I stand conflicted, torn between listening to the voice in my head urging me to leave and salvage my pride or staying to enjoy the sunny day alone in the park. My mind races, replaying our last conversation where he promised to meet me here, yet now I wait aimlessly for a text explaining his absence. I shift my weight between feet, denim shorts swishing against my bare thighs as I kick at the sidewalk in frustration. Arms crossed, I glance around, taking in the groups laughing together on the grass while I wait solitary by the lot. With a huff, I turn to leave, chucks scuffing the pavement with each reluctant step. I make it only a short distance before pausing, a glimmer of hope making me pivot back. I fish my phone from my pocket, refreshing my notifications despite knowing the empty screen awaiting me. 

Noah: Hey, traffic was terrible. Got our tickets online meet me at the front gates. 

The text came in two minutes ago. When I was standing around contemplating my life choices, I feel like an idiot. Had he seen me stomping away? I take a deep breath walking down the red painted walk to the front gates. I spot him before he spots me, leaning on one shoulder against a palm tree closest to the ticket booth. 

His casual look is simple but it’s making my insides swim and spin in circles. The shorts are a classic neutral that matches anything, hitting just above his knees to show off muscular, tattooed calves. His socks and shoes are bright white, like he just stopped by the store to get them specifically for today. On top stands out a bold red hoodie with the hockey team's logo plastered boldly on the front, impossible to miss in a sea of people. His focus is downwards at his phone, hand absentmindedly brushing over short brown hair, drawing my eyes to the fresh cut he got just this morning. The ends are crisp and clean, neatly trimmed in a way that shapes his head, sharpening his look. 

“Hey,” he says as I close the distance between us looking up at me  from behind his shades, “Sorry traffic was a killer, sometimes I am afraid my old ‘09 car is gonna crap out on the freeway.”

"No worries," I say self-consciously, as I begin tugging at the hem of my shorts and shirt in a futile attempt to cover more of the bare skin I had purposely chosen to flaunt just moments before. I'm not sure why I suddenly feel so exposed and vulnerable, wishing I had worn something more modest, but his intense gaze is making me painfully aware of just how little clothing I have on. As if sensing my unease, he reaches for my hand, gently interlacing our fingers together and giving me a reassuring squeeze. With a warm smile, he leads us towards the mobile ticket booth at the park's entrance. I watch as he smoothly pulls up the e-tickets on his phone, which the attendant scans before snapping bright yellow paper wristbands onto each of our wrists. 

"Have fun!" she chirps cheerfully, waving us through the turnstile into the park. Still holding my hand securely, he guides me into the bustling crowd of families and thrill-seekers.

We scatter around the amusement park, darting from ride to ride but never fully committing to more than one at a time. Most of our time is spent waiting in the snaking queues, chattering away about anything and everything to pass the time. We debate our favorite movies - the epic adventures we could watch over and over and the cheesy romcoms we secretly love. We groan about the overhyped blockbusters that left us bored and disappointed. 

The line stretches on endlessly, filled with eager witches and wizards of all ages clad in Hogwarts robes and brandishing imitation wands they had purchased at the souvenir shops. They jostle against each other, craning their necks to see how much longer the wait will be, too caught up in their anticipation to pay heed to personal space. I pull in on myself, trying to avoid the constant bumps and shoves from the overly enthusiastic crowd. Mumbling half-hearted apologies, they repeat the same motions over and over as they surge forward whenever the line moves an inch. Their reckless abandon grates on me, fraying my nerves until I'm overwhelmed by the suffocating press of bodies. Just when I think I can't stand it any longer, I feel Noah's hands encase my shoulders before he pulls me back against his chest. He crosses his arms around me, enveloping my tiny frame within the safe harbor of his embrace. Sheltered there with his chin resting atop my head, the chaotic crowd no longer seems so oppressive. 

The hours fly by in each other's company. I walk slowly as I munch on the Minon Cafe nachos I purchased trying to get a generous amount of cheese, onions and barbeque on one chip. The savory blend of flavors bursts across my tongue with each crunchy bite. Noah stands next to me watching me munch on my food, his lips occasionally curving into a soft smile as he finds amusement in my puffed out chipmunk cheeks struggling to contain the mouthfuls of nachos. I return the expression with my own cheeks puffed out to maximum capacity, my mouth so full of the delicious tex-mex treat that I can barely chew let alone speak. The boys rush up to us without warning, their sneakers scuffing along the pavement. Two gangly teen boys with all the awkward acne and scattered facial hair that comes with puberty stand before us, the shortest one flashing a braces-filled smile as he and his lanky friend try to catch their breath after jogging to catch up with us.

"Hey man," the shorter one greets Noah, a slight lisp detectable as he speaks, "Love the hoodie. We're big Rooks fans." His eyes light up with admiration as they fixate on the sports team logo emblazoned across Noah's chest.

"Oh thanks," Noah replies, his smile broadening as he briefly glances down at the jacket he is wearing despite the intense heat, acting as though he had no idea he was sporting the coveted team merch.

"Whose your favorite player?" the other kid asks eagerly, practically bouncing on his toes. Noah shakes his head and I swear I see a little blush rise in his cheeks, his modest nature taking over. He reaches up and slowly removes the sunglasses from his face. As his identity is revealed, I turn back to look at the boys and see their starstruck expressions morph into sudden realization of who it is they are actually talking to.

The boys ask Noah for photos and autographs. He happily obliges, flashing his pearly white smile for selfies and signing various items. After a few minutes, the boys scamper off, thrilled with their interactions. Noah slides his sunglasses back on and turns to me with a grin stretching ear to ear.

 "You seem to be a popular player," I joke as I toss my trash and brush the chip crumbs from my hands.

 "It's not often I'm stopped without the team around," he admits with a casual shrug. "Puck bunnies usually," he adds. I involuntarily cringe at the mention of that term, memories of my reckless youth flooding back. I was quite the rebel in my teen years, making a string of poor choices with some of the players on my dad's college team. While I was never in it for the money or fame like those so-called "puck bunnies," I'd still made decisions I wasn't proud of, motivated by little more than teenage hormones and lust. 

"You would think," Noah continues, "Being here there would be more popular celebrities to see than me." He shrugs off the comment trying to lighten the mood. I shake off whatever it is that bothers me and force a smile.

 "Maybe they are all hiding," I say pointing to the studio tour ride. Just below the theme park are the studios where they often are filming - it's entirely possible celebrities of all types lurk below us without us knowing. Noah's face brightens at my suggestion and his eyebrows raise behind his sunglasses. His excitement is palpable as he takes my hand and drags me across the park to the escalators, paying the extra toll for the ride. I can't help but grin, caught up in his enthusiasm. We hurry onto the trolley, Noah helping me into the far back seat.

We're squeezed into the very back seat, thighs touching, the tour guide going on about the studio and celebrities we might see roaming around. I'm not even listening. I’m too focused on Noah’s arm draped behind me. His fingers drift lightly over my arm, barely making contact, but it's enough to make my heart race.

As the trolley trundles along through the winds and curves, I turn my head to gaze out the large open sides of the tram, feigning distraction while my mind races. I'm scanning the scenery with unseeing eyes, lost in a vivid daydream. In my fantasy, we sneak away from the crowds flocking through the park and slip into one of its shadowy alcoves, hidden from view. He presses me against the rough brick wall, his strong body pinning mine as his hands roam my curves. Our breaths grow ragged with anticipation and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out as he drives himself into me, right there out in the open where anyone could happen by. My heart pounds at the illicit thrill even as my inner muscles clench around him. Just then, his deep voice breaks through my scandalous reverie.

 "You hungry?" As I turn back, our noses brush in sudden proximity and instinctively I recoil. But his arm around my shoulders tightens, holding me close so that our lips nearly meet. I swallow hard, nodding my head dropping my  eyes down to stop myself from staring at my own reflection in his black sunglasses. 

“Here or downtown?” His free hand comes between us, his index finger tapping my nose before dropping down to cup my chin and tilt my head up to look at him again. I see myself staring back from his dark sunglasses, the faint sight of his eyes behind them, and I know I'm done for. 

Noah’s POV

“Mmm, fuck, you’re so good to me, aren’t you little fox?”  The subtle music from the shops of studio city provided the backdrop as we found a secluded corner shielded by palm trees and trash bins. My hands gripped her hips tightly, bracing her against the brick wall as I moved rhythmically, struggling to keep my shorts from falling. Her body pressed hard into the wall with each thrust as I hit that sensitive spot inside her, eliciting muffled moans from behind her hand clasped firmly over her mouth. Her nails dug sharply into my shoulder, urging me on as my tempo increased. We were lost in the moment, oblivious to anything but each other and the risky thrill. The distant chatter was drowned out by her gasps of pleasure, spurring me to quicken the pace. 

“Fuck, I’m almost there baby.” I brought her down on my cock she rotates her hips to meet me with each thrust. Fuck. I can't get enough of this girl, she has me absolutely addicted in every way. From the moment I wake up, she is the first thought that crosses my mind. I find myself constantly daydreaming about her throughout the day, picturing her smile, her laugh, the way her nose crinkles when she's focused. I can't go five minutes without needing to touch her, to feel her soft skin under my fingertips. Her presence soothes me, excites me, consumes me. I want to talk to her all the time, hear her voice, her thoughts, her dreams. I've caught myself staring at her apartment balcony, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, longing to see that cute, sleepy look she gets when she's just waking up. I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm utterly infatuated. When we're together, it's electric - the sex is mind blowing, earth shattering, unlike anything I've ever experienced. I can't get enough of her body, the way she feels, tastes, smells. She has me completely intoxicated, addicted, obsessed. 

“fuck me, please.” The rhythmic panting in my ear spurs me on, driving my movements with an intoxicating urgency. Lost in the moment, I'm only dimly aware of footsteps approaching in the distance. But I cannot bring myself to stop, not when we’re so close.

Her skin is flush against mine, damp with perspiration from the sweltering summer air. As our foreheads meet, her face contorts in ecstasy, lips forming a perfect ‘O’ while her eyes roll back. She tightens around me, her body quivering. I wish I could freeze this instant, to imprint the exquisite sight of her unraveling in my mind. I come with one last thrust and we stand there, muscles shaking, breath heaving. 

I catch my breath quickly waiting for her thighs to stop shaking before I am setting her down slowly, shielding her as she steadies on her feet, trying to bend at the waist and lift a shaky leg through her denim shorts. 

Her delicate hand feels light in mine as I gently pull her out to the shopping center, people glance our way and I see her cheeks turn red. People have no idea what we just did, but I do and seeing her shy like this, I find it cute. I spot the burger joint and we slip inside and find a cozy booth by the window. The waiter takes our order - a juicy burger and fries for her, just a cold beer for me. As we wait, she becomes utterly engrossed in the football game blaring on the massive flatscreen above the bar. I watch her eyes light up whenever her team makes a big play. Her enthusiasm is contagious, and I find myself getting drawn into the game too.

In the back of my mind, I can't help thinking about my own team - how in just a couple days I'll be back on the ice with them, immersed in the sweat and adrenaline of competition. Part of me itches to be cleared for practice again, to feel the smooth feeling of the ice beneath my skates, to hear the swish of the net as I sink a perfect shot. But a larger part of me knows I'd rather be right here, in this moment, with her. For now, the game on TV is just background noise. The thing that has my full attention is the way she smiles at me from across our little booth, eyes shining, cheeks still flushed. This is where I'm meant to be.

[fitzrove]

The true logic behind the "kitschification" of Elisabeth Schönbrunn

After hanging out in Vienna for a few days, I feel like a lot of Elisabeth Schönbrunn makes sense to me in a way it didnt before. But this is not a compliment... XD

To put it simply, it feels like a catered tourism ad. Like, think about it. There was already so much kitsch potential in the original Elisabeth (actors playing widely mythologised iconic characters in period-accurate costumes straight from the portraits and postcards), and the most cynical critics kinda dismissed it as a tourist trap from the start. But Schönbrunn puts in so much additional touristy kitschiness... Let me make a quick list.

1. The concert experience as a whole

It's a massive outdoor concert in peak holiday/summer season, in the iconic Schönbrunn environment. With the astronomical ticket prices (and the intentionally massive number of seats), I feel like it's intentionally made into a "luxury experience". The target audience is not really musical fans: the target audience is Elisabeth (historical figure) fans, royalists & Habsburg history enthusiasts, tourists in Vienna and people who don't usually go for that sort od thing but want to be immersed in history in the real historical location, with famous actors, famous costumes and catchy music. Idk, I think this became apparent to me when I encountered somewhat pushy concert ticket merchants at the entrances to the Hofburg and Schönbrunn, with little details given about what exactly would be performer at the concert. It was very generic. And with Elisabeth Schönbrunn too, you aren't really paying for the content of the experience or to see the art - you're paying for the experience itself. Of course, there are tons of advance bookings made for the Schönbrunn concert (in fact I doubt you can get tickets the day of, given the very short runs), so perhaps this theory doesn't entirely hold up, but still.

2. The postcard projections

The Schönbrunn stage is surrounded by two big screens with images projected onto them for the audience to see. In addition to providing closeups for the people sitting too far away to see much otherwise, they show real historical pictures (maps, photographs) during transitions between songs. Now, VBW tends to like projections in their other musical productions too lol, but while wandering in Vienna I realised that many of the images projected at Schönbrunn are sold as postcards - at the Schönbrunn souvenir shop. This could be chalked up to intentional irony (like during Kitsch and Neues Sortiment, obviously it's an extension of Lucheni's whole thing), but sometimes it does seem to happen genuinely (like during Die Ersten Vier Jahre iirc).

3. The carriage

When I went to the Hofburg and saw the horse carriages leaving from the front with tourists aboard (120 euros per ride), I had a moment of recognition. It was exactly like when FJ and Sisi rode in at the beginning of the second act of Schönbrunn. This is what first got me thinking about Schönbrunn being a giant tourist ad for the "Habsburg Vienna experience" XD Now, idk if I'm being a conspiracy theorist by saying it's an intentional ad, but it does seem a bit suspicious on that front... I should check if the carriage operating company sponsored them.

4. Tod

Schönbrunn Tod is so... generic? The white leather makes him seem almost invisible, in a way. The black leather from 2012 at least had an edge to it, casting a contrast between him and the historically dressed characters. But the white leather (like Tod himself) is just there, kinda blandly. I feel like it's intentional too. If Tod had more flair (like he had, in some way, in every Viennese production up until this point), it would perhaps feel inappropriate to the target audience of Habsburg enjoyers and casual tourists. So he's not queer, not very supernatural, not odd in appearance or demeanor, not even dressed in a particularly eyecatching way. I think it's because the show relies more on the appeal of the Habsburg costume replicas and familiar historical figures than the actual subversive writing gimmick that Michael Kunze created as he created Der Tod - because some people inevitably wouldn't Get It if Tod was less bland. They can't write Tod out for obvious reasons, but they can make him as palatable as possible to a wide, general audience. This is the true reason they got rid of the Mayerling kiss - I'm not sure Tod's role is very clear in the Schönbrunn staging at all, so some people in the audience wouldn't be able to appreciate his monstrous, all-consuming, equal-opportunity nature (which is at its most visible in the Mayerling kiss. It's the first and only time we see Tod take someone's life so violently, completely and explicitly. Lol my Mayerling kiss enjoyment is showing.)

So yeah. This might read a bit like a conspiracy theory but to me, it all makes sense now. I get where the choices come from a bit better, but I will never ever accept them. The VBW might want to rake in easy money with the mangled kitschified skeleton of this show, and it probably helps finance their other musical productions quite a bit, but still... I wish they would bring back the horrors... 💔

[lesbianaglaya]

wait hi please elaborate on your process of gift giving, im taking notes

happily :)))

planning ahead. okay so it depends first of all on how well you know the person. for my close friends + family (who are generally the people im getting gifts for) i try to listen and make note of when they mention something that might be a good gift! for example my mother was just talking about a rice pearl bracelet she had as a child that she wore till it fell apart. I know a local jewelry store that is both in my price range and makes things in my mother's style, looked on their website, and found a very similar bracelet that i could afford. gift found! planning also involves thinking ahead . im getting that for her for christmas, which is months away, but i know near christmas she'll be reluctant to mention things like that because people get weird about wanting gifts. it can also be less intense than that. my friend's birthday is this week, but a few months back i saw a necklace I knew she'd like at a charity sale and bought it. having the present ahead of time aslo helps prevent desperation in the days leading up to the event!

asking. It is so totally cool to ask people what they want. often they will prevaricate but if you say i am getting you a gift no matter what and you will be helping me by giving me ideas and they will concede. for example here my friend likes wool socks. i knit. i make them wool socks as gifts. i know to do this because i said 'i am going to knit you something. what would you like' and they told me! if youre worried about ruining the surprise the trick is to elevate their suggestion. to continue with the socks example, im not only making my friend a pair of wool socks, but i found a 1950s mens checked sock pattern that really fits their style! even just the added historical aspect, i know, will make my friend more excited about the gift.

utility. i think this is what really matters actually. i try to always find a gift idea that the person will absolutely use. fun little kitschy stuff is fine especially if youre in a rush, but its never going to be really exciting. giving people something that is helpful really makes receiving the gift exciting. getting someone who sews a needle book, or someone who loves music concert tickets allows them to see as soon as they get the gift how it makes their life more fun, or easier, or solves a problem for them. utility is used pretty generally here — a bracelet isnt necessary, but i know my mother will wear it. the goal is to find something that wont sit in a drawer forever till it gets donated.

for people you dont know as well, gift cards are great. try to figure out something they will (again) find useful, get them a gift card, and then elevate it by including a handmade object like a piece of embroidery, homemade cookies, a handmade pretty paper box, etc. if youre not at all able to make things thats also fine! this is where utility can be let go a little. go to a local souvenir or gift shop and find a small thing that suits their taste. this immediately makes the gift card feel way more personal and thoughtful. If youre short on cash, for people close to you offer a service: a baking day with your mother, a movie night with a friend where every time youre the one who gets up to refill drinks, a scavenger hunt youve invented at a free museum together. the real key is a personal element. even a handmade card that suits the person can be more exciting to receive than an expensive gift that isnt their style or taste.

[smallerplaces]

Kylie wants a new pair of shoes

We went to Las Vegas over Thanksgiving because that's a thing people around here do.

On our prior trip to Reno, I'd picked up a couple 1:12-ish table top slot machines that have the name of the city as part of the design. Here's the Reno one in Arvin Lebec's apartment.

This one was $5 at the car museum. I also have a silver one that says Virginia City, which set me back $10, but I was a little punchy at the time I bought that (plus everything is outrageously marked up in Virginia City, so hey). The Virginia City machine is in the game room of the Lil Bratz abode in the Playmobil Victorian Mansion.

So once we crossed the Nevada border, I was keeping an eye out for more tiny slot machines. I don't really need more, but it's a cute souvenir. Primm Mall and Casino, where we stopped to charge the car, no longer has a gift shop. Various kitschy shops on the Strip were charging $10 and up for a Las Vegas mini-slot machine, and Bonanza the World's Largest Gift Shop wanted $7.99.

I was not vibing with this, as the more of these I have, the less novel the idea is, so at some point, they need to be $5 and under. There's a Walgreens across the street from Bonanza, so I said jokingly that we should check to see if it had a better price.

It had an entirely different machine.

This one is larger -- either a very large 1:12 or a small 1:6 -- and plastic. It was also priced under $5. It came in Barbie Pink, so the 1:6 community can share in the gambling issues of the 1:12 and 1:18 dollhouse people.

[sohannabarberaesque]

Now imagine Cattanooga Klatsche adding a breakfast menu

As if being a coffeehouse among coffeehouses in Gatlinburg wasn't already interesting enow, thanks to thrift-shop kitsch furnishings and a light-hearted ambience influenced by the feline musical quartet of Couutry, Kitty Jo, Groove and Scoots, you could just picture their legendary back-alley coffee place, Cattanooga Klatsche, putting in a breakfast menu to give the Waffle House boys "sheer indigestion," as Scoots was fond of explaining the idea.

But at least you have brekkie simple, homelike (even with the place looking kitschy by design), definitely on the Southern side of things--even to where the coffee is roasted right in Cattanooga Klatsche (and also available to take along, whole bean or ground). Not to mention the menu having its own rather amusing little descriptive of what can be expected:

Try not to be surprised, diner, should one of the Cattanooga Cats "themselves" (of which this coffee place is their pet and pride here in the Smokies) come up to your table and strike up conversation on whim. They just prefer it that way, especially with a breakfast certain to be remembered alongside the tacky souvenir shops along the Parkway, or even hiking Mt. LeConte, among other distractions to be evident here in Gatlinburg and the Smoky Mountains. Who said breakfast had to be cheap, fast and easy?

Witness, for one, how they'd describe their take on the corned beef hash:

So much for the corned-beef hash served in mens' club buffets: Our take on corned beef hash puts even canned hash to shame, considering where we use nothing less than chopped up corned beef fried up in potatoes O'Brien--that's hash browns with diced green and red peppers for most of you. Who said the potatoes for corned beef hash have to be particular in some way?

(Not to mention reminding all that two poached eggs, toast and jam round out the whole.)

Even the legendary biscuits-and-gravy of their midnight gabfests gets noticed:

One of the more fascinating traditions the Cattanooga Cats "themselves" are fond of enjoying on occasion is sitting down to plates of biscuits and sausage gravy late of nights and discuss the look of upcoming concert tours or albums. Which is translated all the more lovingly for you, right down to the recipes Kitty Jo (the band's female lead) is fond of using, handed down more or less. No less than self-rising flour for the biscuits and a blend of mild and hot breakfast sausage in a rather smooth cream-style gravy. We're more than happy to give seconds if you care to; that's just how things are down here.

(They do make note of preferring self-rising flour for as much the biscuits as the pancakes and waffles--and some of the other baked goods served at Cattanooga Klatsche. And the grits ... nothing less than such ground in a lovingly-restored water powered mill, and when it comes to the topping choices, they let you pick them for your bowl, adding "If you can't quite decide what you want with your bowl of grits, we'll be happy to choose the add-ins for you!" Including such staple mix-ins as bacon and sausage bits, butter, shredded cheese, red eye gravy and diverse seasonings.)

And believe you me, the pancakes and waffles on Cattanooga Klatsche's breakfast menu (aside from the obvious use of self-rising flour, after the Southern fashion) have a remarkable lightness and digestibility, as if offering maple syrup, ribbon cane syrup and cane sorghum as accompaiments wasn't adding some choice as well. And did I mention also being able to order said pancakes with Malt-O-Meal or even Hovis flour from England (a whole wheat flour said to be extra nutritive thanks to the wheat germ contained) mixed in to the stock batter, for such liking extra flavour?

And the coffee: As with the other coffees sold at Cattanooga Klatsche, Fairtrade Certified sourcing, roasted fresh on the premi (and many can swear they can smell the roasting going on) and with free refresh of the mug as required. For such who prefer tea--again, Fairtrade Certified, and blended on the premi, including Original Cattanooga House Blend, English Breakfast, Formosan Oolong, China Hyson Green, Earl Grey, Spiced and Decaffeinated. (Iced tea can also be had for such interested, brewed from a closely-held blend of green and black teas designed for optimal refreshment).

And One Thing More from the breakfast menu:

We'd rather let the hotel and motel trade recommend us based on merit, as in whether they've actually HAD breakfast with us rather than paying them off to say nice things about us. Such isn't exactly good business sense, come to think of it; rather, it only cheapens the whole system of recommendations and could raise ethical questions. So if you liked Cattanooga Klatche's breakfasts, tell your friends--especially back in your hometown and considering a drive to the Great Smokies. And if not--let us know. We'd rather be the first to know of a problem, which can happen sometimes.

Such is how breakfast can get at Cattanooga Klatsche, which can otherwise get to be quite the coffeehouse in Gatlinburg bound to make even Starbucks and Dunkin' envious.

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @groovybribri @ultrakeencollectionbreadfan @jellystone-enjoyer @archive-archives @screamingtoosoftly @thylordshipofbutts @princessgalaxy505 @thebigdingle @themineralyoucrave @warnerbros-blog1 @theweekenddigest @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @zodiacfan32 @warnerbrosent-blog

[glux2]

"Once upon a time, a cabal of scholars of magic achieved the forging of a spell so powerful it was forbidden, magic capable of 'Abstraction Synthesis', the transmutation of thought into reality, simply referred to as 'The Wish'.

The existence of The Wish caused a huge debate among the scholars, the use of Abstraction Synthesis could pose a risk to life and reality itself, so it was agreed The Wish was to be sealed for eternity out of the reach of mere mortals, the knowledge of how to craft the spell destroyed and sentenced to die with the scholars, with time The Wish became a myth nobody knew for sure was real anymore.

Fast forward centuries to the present, a malicious, mischievous spell thief acquired the knowledge of where The Wish was being kept, after months of planning and preparation the thief managed to infiltrate the resting place of The Wish one night and snatched the spell swiftly, it was the perfect heist... or so she thought, in her hubris she managed to alert the guardians of The Wish on her way out, making the most of her head start she attempted to lose her chasers in the city.

She made her way into a nearby souvenir shop nearing its closing time and quickly hid the wish inside a kitschy stuffed unicorn doll, she then disappeared into the crowds, figuring she could retrieve the doll the next day when the store reopened.

The next morning a young woman entered the souvenir shop, looking to buy a gag gift for her girlfriend's birthday, something gaudy or corny to set up the surprise of her real gift, and wouldn't you know it, a silly stuffed unicorn was perfect! She purchased the plush unicorn much to the dismay of the spell thief who just missed her by a few moments, now she would have to follow the trail to The Wish.

The birthday party was not particularly big, just the woman of the hour, her family and a couple of people, the gift was presented and after a few giggles and laughs it was handed to her little brother to hold as everyone readied for the real surprise.

However, the tender moment was interrupted by the spell thief, taking the birthday girl hostage and demanding The Wish be surrendered to her.

Everybody panicked completely ignorant of what this person demonstrating menacing impossible feats even wanted, the little brother cowered under a table holding to the kitschy unicorn, in his distress the boy uttered 'I wish someone would save my sister', and so, The Wish was unwittingly triggered.

Molded by the whimsical mind of the child, the stuffed unicorn grew in size and shifted in shape, becoming the very idea of someone who could save his sister, a warrior of uncanny power, a hero not unlike those in the flashy anime shows he enjoyed, someone he could look up to, like his sister.

The stuffed unicorn sprung to life and with unmatched speed delivered a powerful blow to the Spell Thief, forcing to release the grip on the hostage and successfully getting her back to safety.

Although the Spell Thief's magic was to be feared, the unicorn's unorthodox fighting style proved to be too much for her, forcing her to retreat for the time being, but vowing to come back to get the power of The Wish back, somehow. She would not be the only one seeking to reclaim this powerful magic.

And so, it was the beginning of the peculiar tale of Monica, the stuffed unicorn."

[brodorokihousuke]

I’ve just realized how strange it is that there’s an in-game amusement park… based off of a police mascot?

I could understand some kitschy little souvenir shop centered around the blue badger, but… a whole ass amusement park? That little bugger must really be raking in the dough for them to commit to that!

[feelingravityspull]

there were a lot of french tourists in San Francisco. they seemed to be very happy which was nice. i saw a little boy pass a store window advertising crepes, and he cried out passionately, “maman, cccrrrrêpe!” We later rode the cable car with a couple of other European families. The burly latino conductor demanded that a dweeby kid with big teeth and thick glasses ring the bell, and he was thrilled to do so. His dweeby father, who looked just like his son, had such a joyous, wide smile.

I dislike doing touristy things, but my girlfriend’s friend wanted to meet us in a touristy area to eat some tourist food. The sea lions were nice. Walking past the blocks of souvenir shops in fisherman’s wharf, though, I kind of wanted to jump off the golden gate bridge. Chinatown is interesting because it seems kitschy but it’s populated mostly by elderly Chinese people which lends it some authenticity. There was an older man playing a flute on the sidewalk, seemingly for pleasure. I laughed but it sounded very nice and I would have liked to stop and listen. The Chinese waitress had an aggressively kind manner, different from the brusque, rude service one expects and appreciates in those old fashioned Chinese restaurants.

[ezzydean]

“If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.” - Stiles and Jackson

800+ words under the cut

i have no explanations and i am not sorry

click here to read on my blog instead of the dash

“Stiles.  I swear to whatever god you pray to that this better not be our ride.  Or I will strangle you.”

“Kinky.”  Stiles meets Jackson’s gaze for a few seconds and then looks at the car pulling up to the curb.  “What’s the matter with it?”

“You seriously have to ask?”  Jackson glares at the car and then slowly turns the glare on Stiles.

“It’s an Uber.  What?  Are you too good for Uber now?”

“Despite how many we’ve been taking every week, no.  But I’d rather not get in one that looks like it belongs to a serial killer!”

“It does not look…”  Stiles gives the car a once over.  “Okay, well it doesn’t look like a serial killer’s car.  Maybe, like.  I dunno.  The car of a dude that is straddling the line between manslaughter and self-defense.”

Jackson takes a deep breath and glares at Stiles a little harder.

“If I die I’m going to haunt your ass,” he growls.  Then he yanks open the back door and climbs inside.

By the time Stiles clambers in behind him Jackson is already busy charming their potential future murderer and getting recommendations on where to eat and which shops downtown are the best for non-kitschy souvenirs.  Which is hilarious.  Considering he and Jackson both spent the first eighteen years of their lives in this town.

Also he’s pretty sure his dad’s been called to the restaurant their driver is recommending more than once for various brawls and health code violations.  So he, personally, wouldn’t call it ‘the crown jewel of Beacon Hills’ but, you know, to each their own and all that.

“No that sounds like a great place,” Jackson says sweetly when Stiles snorts at the latest recommendation and their driver looks back at them curiously.  “My friend here is just an asshole.”

Oh.  He got ‘asshole’ and ‘my friend’ both.  He’s not sure if he’s truly being that much of a dick or if Jackson’s just having a bad day; it’s hard for him to gauge his dickishness sometimes.  He slides his hand across the seat between them and taps the outside of Jackson’s thigh with his pinky.  Jackson rolls his shoulder a little, shifts his leg to pin Stiles’ hand under his thigh, and glances at Stiles from the corner of his eye.  Option A then.

“Dad said that as long we promise to meet him for a meal before noon tomorrow he’ll keep Parrish out of our hair today.”  Jackson snickers softly.  Yeah.  He knows as well as Jackson does that it’s a lost cause but Dad will at least try for them.  That totally counts.  “Pops said he can’t promise to keep Derek reined in.  But hopefully no police escort this time.”

“I’m more worried about Danny and Boyd deciding that we need the entire fire department as a welcome wagon.”

“Police escort?  Fire department?  Who, exactly, are you two?”

The slow smile that crawls across Jackson’s face warms Stiles down to his very soul.  It’s the same smug grin that he used hate so much.  Now he adores it.

“Jackson Whittemore-Stilinski.  Newest addition to the Hale law firm here in town.”  Their driver’s face goes pale.

“St-Stilinski.  As in.  Uh.  Sheriff Stilinski?”

“That would be my Dad.”  Stiles grins.  “Though I believe he goes by Sheriff Stilinski-Argent these days now that he and Pops got married.  Do you know my Pops too?  Chris Argent?”

“Argent?  The, uh…”

“Firearms dealer?  Yeah.  That’s him.”

“So you?”

“Stiles Whittemore-Stilinski at your service.”

The car pulls up to the curb.  “Here’s your stop,” their driver breathes out shakily.  “Have a, uh, nice day.”

“You too!”  Stiles slides out of the car and Jackson follows him.  He waves cheerfully as the car pulls away.  “So you think he’s a human sort of criminal or the supernatural kind?”

Jackson snorts as he wraps his arm around Stiles’ waist and tugs him towards the house.

“Don’t care.  I’m sure I’ll see him later either way.”

“Now don’t go taking all my fun, Mr. Whittemore-Stilinski.”  Stiles presses a kiss to Jackson’s temple.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Mr. Whittemore-Stilinski.”

“Oh my God,” a voice drawls from behind them.  “I didn’t realize you two could get any more disgusting.”

Jackson sighs.  “How did we forget to ask for someone to be on Peter duty?”

“Why are you asking me?  He’s your boss.”

“Yeah, well, he’s your Sugar Daddy.”

“Excuse me?  No.  Peter is not a Sugar Daddy.”  Stiles looks over his shoulder and winks at Peter.  “He’s a DILF.”

“That is your father’s boyfriend.”

“What can I say?  Dad has good taste.  So does Pops.”

“God this family is so fucked up,” Jackson mutters as he unlocks the door.  “I’m taking a nap.”

“Love you too, babe,” Stiles calls out as the door shuts behind his husband.  “Well, Peter.  Looks like it’s you and me for a couple hours.”  He pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens up his photos.  “What do you know about this guy?  He was our Uber driver and he was super sketchy.”

Peter laughs.  “Good to have you boys home.”

“Try not to get arrested,” Jackson yells out the bedroom window.  “I don’t actually start work until Monday.”

[shinebrite97]

A trip to Spirit Halloween - RFA

Precursor: Spirit Halloween is not an international company, so my take is that the MC is American, and is visiting her home for a short time in the fall with her partner and maybe a best friend as their host/guide.

Zen:

He was never big on Halloween, he was invited to one 21 and up Halloween party at Lotte World with some of his co-stars after he was accepted by a theater, and he bought a bag of candy one year but didn’t get many kids at his door. :/

When he joined you in America in October for [insert reason here], he was astounded by the blatant decorum. Pumpkins and spiders and ghouls at every turn.

“And this is why nothing scares you...crazy girl."

You were walking down a shopping street when you happened upon the pop-up horror haven and you gravitated to it like a moth to light.

Zen had no clue what you were so excited about until those sliding doors opened.

He’s not one to deny a dare, so when you dared him to step on the footplate that activated the giant spider prop, he did, not knowing what to expect.

He’s jumpy, but also brave and protective, so when the spider did leap out, he jumped back about nine feet, but then hurried over to you and asked if you were okay.

(Pre-Covid era) he will want to try on masks and take selfies with you, the more grotesque the better. Though when you gave him the white featureless mask it blended with his hair so well that it managed to freak you out a little.

Zen wanted to buy you a sexy costume, maybe the sexy teddy bear or the red riding hood (totes not to unleash the beast on later…) but sticker shock nearly gives him a heart attack.

You two each buy a pair of fangs and while neither of you will say it, it almost feels like picking out wedding rings.

Wants to prove how brave he is by going through the tiny haunted house in the back. It’s literally six steps and one corner with some funky lights and sound effects, but the second he gets inside, he latches onto you until you’re back outside.

As you leave with your meager haul of fangs, and maybe one kitschy little halloween makeup kit, Zen decides that it was fun, but he’d probably not go back.

Yoosung:

He’s so happy to be in America with you!

I headcanon that Yoosung speaks English fairly well, has an accent, but can definitely get by if he lost you for any length of time in town.

He had been to one Halloween party with some classmates as a college thing, just wanted to get home and play video games.

He joined you and your best friend on a trip to “the store” unsure of which store you were going to.

Yoosung loves interactive displays, but when he stepped down on the activator pad, he was not expecting the nine-foot-tall clown to laugh maniacally and lunge at him. Dove for the floor and landed by your feet.

Spends more time in the costumes and props area than the showroom floor.

Reached nirvana when he found a replica of some sword in LOLOL and went on a tangent about it and the upgrades it had and the fact that you had to pay for the diamond patch if you didn’t want to farm for 100 hours.

Tries on a costume just for the fun of it because the price made him want to cry, but you promised to work with him to make an epic LOLOL cosplay for much cheaper.

Wants a souvenir from your favorite store so he buys three matching skull keychains for you two and your friend while you and your friend were playing around with the interactive decor.

Definitely wants to go back once he finds out that the store’s theme changes each year.

Jaehee:

Never had time for Halloween before, and isn’t big on the holiday. Her choice, if she had one, was just to make some tea and watch Zen in Hell Note since it had a darker tone to it.

However, now that she is in America with you for a week in October, you have decided that this trip to some store was absolutely essential.

She almost doesn’t want to go inside, seeing some little kids run out screaming.

Upon first entering, she jumps at the sudden raven or crow noise and doesn’t like that the animatronic demon child on wheels is following her.

Will probably hold your hand until you start playing with the interactive displays.

The animatronic jumping spider is a 0/10, please never step on that again.

Jaehee does like wigs and the animal costumes (may or may not want to see you dressed as a tastefully sexy deer or fox)

At one point you two lose sight of each other and she finds you looking at some 90s movie memorabilia like hocus pocus pillows of Beetlejuice mugs.

You have the plan to spruce up the coffee shop for Halloween, but Jaehee is weary to decorate with anything off putting….(she’s talking about you, bag of eyeballs and plastic amputated human parts)

You suggest a vase for each table with a single purple rose and some white flameless candles, and then a stop of a fabric store in the same plaza comes up with black lace for some pretty curtains.

She’s glad to observe your favorite holiday with you, but probably would not jump on the chance to come back to this store.

Jumin:

Celebrated Halloween once with V as a teenager.

Attended some very boring Halloween parties for his father’s sake.

Was kind of surprised when you showed so much interest in it.

He had business in America anyway, so he flew you two over for a week so you could see your friends and family while he handled his work.

One night after you two had dinner with your childhood best friend, you discovered a spirit Halloween in the same plaza as the restaurant.

Jumin was still at a point where he went on autopilot the moment a woman talked about going shopping.

“Anything you want, dear…”

He had no idea what kind of store Spirit Halloween was, but as you and your bestie bounded inside, he showed a little more decorum...up until a giant clown with spider legs and a red balloon snarled at him.

He actually called out your name first, and it’s something you’d think about for a long time after.

He sought you out when he was startled…

Jumin followed closely behind you for the trip, not scared enough to hold onto you, but kept his hands in his pockets to avoid accidentally activating something or touching the gross looking gauze on the hanging ghost decorations.

He realized you and your friend stayed far away from the Halloween costumes, which he thought was the entire purpose of the store and noticed you stuck to the front end [with the cheaper stock]

While you two geeked over the funko pops figures and the pillows, and the little odds and ends, he admired some of the costumes, wondering which would suit you best.

His eyes fell on a sexy black cat costume, which was basically just a bra with flowing sleeves and a mini skirt. Didn’t even come with ears or a tail….but he found those in the back with the other animal parts.

He asked why you didn’t want a costume and you just silently took down one of the medieval maid costumes and showed him the price. 90 dollars!!!

“That is way too much for anything, especially when I can make a better version for myself for like twenty.”

You explained to him that the quality was bad and the costumes all smelled like plastic and they were way too expensive.

But is that going to stop your conglomerate boyfriend from spoiling you? NOPE

He buys the black cat lingerie with a tail and ears while you and your friend are distracted by the haunted house display and will surprise you later with it in the hotel room.

And hoping that you’ll surprise him while wearing it as well.

Seven:

He’s never celebrated Halloween. Ever.

But to see you so excited about something…

He decided it was time for a vacation anyway, so he decided to go off the Korean grid with you for a week.

On the second day of your trip you spotted your home mecca and begged him to go in with you.

He wasn’t sure what the excitement was for until he got inside.

Tough boy wants to show off. Not to mention, neurodivergence has been met with buttons that say “try me” and “step here” so you know he’s going to.

He loves the effects, loves the demonic dog, and the creepy demon twins beckoning people closer before they show their creepy faces.

Completely wants to buy you a sexy cat costume and also wants to try it on for himself.

Also thinks you two should get a super cheesy couple’s costume...and owo what’s this? A matching cheese and cracker couple’s costume?

You will definitely come here one or two more times before your vacation ends, and on your last visit, he sneakily films the entire experience so he can feel like he’s shopping there next fall, and because you were just so cute browsing beside him.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I dont think the jewelry box thing is really that deep...like I've lived in both Jordan and Bahrain, and neither the khamza nor evil eye representations are strictly 'religious'. Cultural, yes. But there are countless local vendors there that sell variations of those in souvenir and artsy shops and markets. Hell, I've bought stuff with those motifs myself because they're pretty and i like the symbolism. I wouldn't necessarily encourage going so far as getting them tattooed on you or anything, but I think there are way more important things you could focus your energy on to actually help Muslim and Jewish people

Thanks for your input, I guess?

There is a huge difference between local artisans and vendors profiting from tourists thinking their cultural symbols are "pretty", and a corporation making thousands of dollars by appropriating those cultural symbols.

And add a Jewish person, I do focus my energy on plenty of things that make a real world difference for Jewish and Muslim people who are harmed by bigotry in all forms-- including the insidious little "not deep" ways, like making our cultural symbols into kitschy jewelry for white Christian ladies to wear with little to no idea of their meaning.

So, no, selling hamsas to people who don't know what they mean isn't that deep, in the grand scheme of things, but seeing a symbol that I grew up associating with safety and protection being used to sell a jewelry subscription box doesn't feel great, and I'm allowed to be angry about it. Being upset about supposed "small" sleights, doesn't mean I'm not able to work on "real" problems.

But if the appropriation and commercialization of cultural symbols and practices isn't a "real" problem, then what is it, exactly? At what point am I allowed to be mad?

(I am nearly overwhelmed by the anxiety-driven need to apologize for the tone of this response, but to be perfectly honest, I held back when replying. I am beyond exhausted from being told what I'm "allowed" to be upset about, as a Jew, a queer person, a woman, someone with a mental illness and a disability... It's taken some time, but I'm finally at the point where I don't need to apologize for my anger when I know it's justified and rightly-aimed.

Telling marginalized people that they are distracting themselves from the "real" issues--and therefore being bad advocates, and bad minorities-- by paying attention to smaller bad acts is flat out condescending, and wrong. I assure you, we have plenty of practice being angry, afraid, and efficient at activism all at once.)

[roguish-gallery]

I just love these rogue headcanon questions so here is another! beach day head canons! what are they all doing on beach day together!

OFC!!!! This was so much fun to do, thank you for the request!

Rogues + Beach Day HCs!

Bane:

He’s just trying to have a good time but… he can’t help but feel as if he’s being watched….

He may not think he’s doing anything sus, but dudes got stacks on stacks on stacks. SO MUCH BEEF. people will be ogling at him. He’s not a big people-person, so he’s a little shocked at the amount of people calling him over to play volleyball, or why so many moms are asking if he could help them put sunblock on that “hard to reach spot”. No, he will not rub lotion on your back, Linda. Your husband is literally right there. idiots.

Eventually, he just grabs his towel, some beer from the cooler, and he finds a quiet, secluded spot to tan or he goes out to swim.

Catwoman:

Selina easily puts the most effort in her beach outfit, but that’s hardly a surprise. 

She looooooves setting up her towel close to random groups of moms so she can listen to the gossip. She doesn’t know who the FUCK they’re talking about, but that arguably makes the tea even better. Susan did WHAT with her poolboy? Unbelievable, what a bitch.

Anyone who catcalls her will get their tires slashed before they leave. No one knows how Selina is figure out which car is the right one... but they decide to not question it

Clayface:

Have you FELT the heat??? Have you SEEN the water?? All that fucking SAND??? This literally sounds like hell no fucking thank you.

He spends the day wandering around the nearby stores and bars. He has a genuine soft spot for tourist traps that sell kitschy souvenirs, and he can literally spend HOURS in one shell shop alone.

He WILL go home with at least one hideous mermaid clock and that’s a promise.

Harley Quinn:

Harley is living her BEST life. She brought ice cream, she brought a boogie board, she misplaced her flip flops so she had to borrow an extra pair of Ivy’s, (but Ivy didn’t get mad so it's alright). The beach trip was more than likely her idea, and if it wasn’t, Harley most certainly was responsible for getting the other rogues to come.

The QUEEN of beach volleyball!!! She’ll literally just join any group that’s playing and will absolutely wipe the floor with the other team!!! She quickly becomes super popular amongst beach-goers.

She tries soooo haaaaard to convince her friends to get more active because they’re either reading, sleeping, or not even ON THE BEACH. Some of them humor her, but the others just double-down on whatever they were doing prior.

Joker:

He literally spends the entire day bullying people. He’s kicking sandcastles, getting sand in people’s picnics- he doesn’t care.

When he’s not being a public menace, he’s out trying to surf. He’s frustratingly competent. No one knows where he learned how to surf.

Because he’s an IDIOT he thought his chemical-bleached skin was too good for sunscreen. Wrong. 

Killer Croc:

He literally can’t go swimming in a somewhat crowded area without some teen mistaking him for a sea monster or some shit. It really sucks, because Waylon is the best swimmer of the rogues, and he genuinely enjoys getting into the water (He does get to venture out for a few hours once it gets dark!)

Actually, CAN Waylon even do anything at a public beach without freaking people out??? What the fuck???

In the meantime though, he’s content to take a nap because the sun feels fantastic on his back and the sand is warm and ough,,,, snzzzzz,,,,,snnnnzzzzz,,,,,

Mad Hatter:

He tags along with Basil and they go explore the shops together. He doesn’t particularly care for the beach, but unlike SOME PEOPLE (Eddie) Jervis doesn’t sit around and bitch about it, so he looks for something to do.

Jerv eventually gets bored, so he spends the rest of the day doing some light people watching. There’s SO many different hats in one place! It’s fascinating!

He 100% falls asleep at around noon and he has to get woken up several times to reapply sunscreen before his white pasty-ass burns.

Mr. Freeze:

Penguin:

(I was very tempted to just link the robot chicken DC special where Oswald convinces half of the Legion of Doom to strip at the beach but! I shall not! Also… realistically, I know that Oz would Literally Rather Perish than take his shirt off somewhere public.)

As usual, he has to be the responsible one. He brought sunblock, reminded everyone to bring their towels, and he brought extra towels because he knows people will forget. And yes, even though he was teased relentlessly for it, he DID provide the beach umbrella.

He’s got a nice shirt, some Gucci shades, and a pair of beach trousers. He will NOT get in the water. “Harley, I am serious. Do you know what’s in that water? I will not get these clothes wet.”

He just wants to read a book on the sand and relax. Please let him rest. please.

Poison Ivy:

Finally… she can get some proper tanning done…

The only reason she’ll get up is if Harley is drowning, or if she needs some backup on a volleyball match. The MOMENT she isn’t needed, she’s going back to sunbathe.

She’s been around the other rogues long enough to know that half of them won’t properly apply sunscreen and it’s for that very reason that she refuses to share any of her hyper-potent aloe vera. Play shitty games, win shitty prizes.

Riddler:

HE IS WHINING CONSTANTLY WHY DID HE TAG ALONG??? ITS SO HOT OUT AND HES SO SWEATY AND THE SUNSCREEN IS SO OILY AND THE SUN IS TOO BRIGHT SO HE CANT LOOK AT HIS PHONE SCREEN AND AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Surprisingly tho he does venture out into the water to cool off, but once he gets completely wiped out from a wave he crawls back to where The Umbrella and The Cooler are located and sulks there for a while. EVERYONE saw him and laughed.

He eventually decides to do the one thing he KNOWS he’ll enjoy doing, and he moves his towel next to where Oz is sitting, and they spend the rest of the day idly chatting. He perks up later when he gets to help with the grill during dinner.

Scarecrow:

At first, he GENUINELY doesn’t understand how he got talked into coming. There’s nothing for him to do except read (Which he could have just done at home)... Maybe if he walked along the shore he’ll find a beached jellyfish. Or a dead body… Alas, no such luck. What a terrible day… 

That is… until he comes across the seagulls. He is fascinated. No, enamoured with them. They have so much potential… for anarchy… he’ll find a flock and feed them bits of his sandwich until more join in and they start to follow him around… and then he’ll throw the rest of his food into a large group of beach-goers and watch the ensuing chaos.

After that, this literally becomes the best day ever. Jon has a smug fucking grin, and he’s openly nice to the other rogues. He gets himself a BIG ASS frozen margarita with salt on the rims AND a novelty umbrella. He REFUSES to explain his good mood, but the others begin to suspect it may have something to do with the influx of people leaving the beach at around noon.

Two-Face:

Harv’s burnt skin is very sensitive to heavy sunlight, so he’ll just throw on some sandals and he’ll hop around the bars near the beach and watch some sports. Once it gets darker and cooler, he’ll rejoin the rest of the rogues.

Once it gets dark? Guys? Barbeque. King. He’s got the grill. He’s got the meats. He’s got the cooler of beer. He is unstoppable.

He used to be That Dude With The Guitar back in college (y’all fucking know who I’m talking about, every campus has one of them), so mayyyybeee,,, if the mood strikes him,,, he miiiiiight pull out his old uke and play some tunes. maybe.

[catalysisrp]

As mobile tumblr no longer likes to let people click page links ( 😒 ) we've decided to drop today's preview in a post for all our mobile users' viewing pleasures!

PERDITION, NV POPULATION 1,974

Sitting stubbornly in the southern tip of Nevada, Perdition is 111 miles north of Las Vegas in rocky, sparsely habited Lincoln County. It sits in a scorched valley between the South Pahroc Range and the Delamar Range. Big Rock Wilderness stands directly north, across highway 93, so from any point in town you can see the teeth of jagged desert mountain ranges jutting up from the horizon. Its population is a small and ever-shrinking 1,974. Despite the harsh surroundings, a variety of flora and fauna surround the small town, digging out life from the feet of the mountains. Mesquite, creosote, greasewood, yucca, and more than 30 varieties of cacti dot the landscape. Sheep, foxes, coyotes, bats, wild horses, owls, tortoises and reptiles are among the hundreds of species co-existing in the rugged landscape. Check your shoes before heading out the door: three different types of scorpions live in the deserts of Nevada. Emergency rooms are also frequented by those bitten by local snakes: sidewinders, the Great Basin rattler, the western diamondback, and kingsnakes are all venomous and common.

WEATHER & CLIMATE SOUTHWESTERN USA

Perdition enjoys highs from 100 degrees in the summer to as low as 50 degrees in the winter. On average, they get 159 days of sunshine year-round. It is a semi-arid climate with very little precipitation.

NEIGHBORHOODS & RESIDENCES

King’s Canyon Estates - Home to the ever-shrinking upper echelon of Perdition, patrolled by a security guard and watched by hawkish blue bloods out of gleaming windows. The lawns are unsettlingly green and the manses are polished and opulent. Rebel Creek - Perdition residents call this run-down, burnt-out neighborhood ‘the wrong side of the creek’. Populated by shotgun houses and a few poorly maintained trailers, Rebel Creek is where the down-and-out lurk. As more of the city falls on hard economic times, more residents find themselves washed up here. It’s not advised to walk through at night. Steptoe Terrace Apartments - Close to downtown, reasonably priced, utilitarian. Nothing fancy, not run down; lived-in. It’s a step up from Rebel Creek, at least. Sunridge Court - Middle class Perdition residents live here in their modest but well-built houses and small but pleasantly tended yards. It’s close to the schools, the small city library, and most of downtown proper. Alta Vista - ATLAS employees have brought an unusual white-collar wealth to Perdition, driving up property values and forcing some people out of their homes altogether. This new development sprung up shortly after the ATLAS compound’s arrival, built on land wrenched from the impoverished hands of ranchers and homeowners on the outskirts of Perdition. Eminent Domain and skyrocketing property taxes have left a small but not insignificant portion of residents relocating to Steptoe and Rebel Creek, unable to afford to rebuild and unwilling to move away from the town their families have called home for so many generations.

PERDITION PROPER & LOCAL BUSINESSES

City Hall - The administration building of local municipal government, like everything in Perdition, has seen better days. Not many folk in town are particulalry pleased with their mayor, but no one ever seems to run against him. Sheriff’s Department & Perdition Jailhouse - Sheriff’s office, a small dispatch office, and a few jail cells for penning any rowdy drunks from the Widowmaker. Red Rock Elementary School - Pre-k - grade 6 Perdition High School - Grades 7 - 12, home of the Fighting Mules! Pike’s Food & Drug - The only grocer & pharmacy in town, owned by the Pike family, six-generation Perdition locals. It’s a snapshot in time, especially the functioning-and-fully-stocked cigarette vending machine and the soda fountain that’s still in service. Golden Oasis Casino - With the promise of a major highway to connect Perdition to the rest of the world, eager investors saw dollar signs and poured piles of money into a brand new casino in 1952. When the highway development fell through and the money dried up, it decayed into what it is today: a place for locals to pull the creaky levers on old penny slots and ignore the indoor smoking ban. Silver Strike Diner - While its silvery accents and vinyl booths are dinged and sunbleached, the food is just as good as when the Silver Strike opened in 1950. Cheap, greasy, open 24/7. The jukebox hasn’t worked since 2002. The Widowmaker - This saloon, built in 1902 and originally named The Silver Dollar Saloon, stands right on the edge of Rebel Creek and decent society. It’s an utter dive: dark, dingy, cheap, and rowdy. Look out for bar fights and pickpockets. Sandman Motel - Its peeling-paint neon sign can be seen from the highway, a symbol of bygone days (and missing the ‘T’ on one side). You have to be pretty desperate to stay here; all-sorts roll in off the highway to rent out these rooms. Last Chance Gas - Local gas station open 24/7 selling cold beer, cigarettes, essentials, and lotto tickets. It’s the ‘last chance for gas’ for the next 100 miles down America’s Loneliest Highway.

OUTER PERDITION & SURROUNDING WILDERNESS

Professor Chromium’s Monster Museum & Creature Feature! - Just off Highway 50! Come, be amazed! Mysterious creatures great and small from the world over; creatures as you’ve never seen! In the time-honored tradition of now-defunct circus freak shows, Professor Chromium’s Monster Museum is a sprawling old warehouse made into a maze of clever taxidermy, creative Frankensteining of stuffed creatures, jars of mysterious claws and limbs. Locals serve as tour guides for tourists and cashiers at the wildly overpriced gift shop stuffed with kitschy souvenirs. Some even say a few of the creatures are genuine horrors, but who would believe them? Perot Mine - There’s a saying around town, and it’s ‘all the money in Perdition comes from Perot’. The mine opened for operation in 1902 when prospectors were hunting for new veins as the mine in Delamar had been providing dwindling returns for a few years before the fire ravaged the town in 1900. William Perot founded the mine and the town of Perdition sprung up nearby. All of high society in Perdition is related to, or married to, a Perot. It employs a huge portion of the Perdition population, but its returns are now dwindling, too. Quarter after quarter, less and less gold and silver ore has been hauled out of Perot. There are whispers of lay-offs on the horizon and even the upper crust of Perdition is starting to get nervous. Perdition Uranium Mine & Mill - from 1951 to 1968, a uranium mining boom swept across America. Spurred by the Atomic Energy Commission and the Cold War, Nevada was a focal point for substantial uranium prospecting and mining. Just outside Perdition, a uranium mine and mill cropped up, employing hundreds of locals and bringing an additional economic boom to the small town in addition to the long-standing gold mine. It was shuttered in 1972, boarded up, and now stands as an ugly relic littered with radioactive warning signs all along the perimeter. Curious teenagers have gone missing inside, and sometimes strange noises can be heard across the flat desert from within its neglected depths. The ATLAS Compound - In 2015, after a flurry of federally funded construction activity behind high chain link fence, a collection of bureaucratic government buildings cropped up like a deposit of hard, shiny minerals along the horizon just outside of town, near the old Perdition Uranium Mine and Milling site. Its perimeter is gated and the gatehouse is always manned by armed guards. This government compound includes a huge lab, offices, and a medical wing. Officially, it is designated as an arm of the Department of the Interior. Delamar - A ghost town dubbed ‘The Widow-maker’ due to deadly dry milling techniques that killed dozens and dozens of the men who worked at the Delamar mine. Established in 1891, the mine operated lucratively until 1900 when nearly the entire city burned to the ground. After a difficult recovery, the mine closed in 1909 and by 1914 the town was abandoned. Nothing but the skeleton of old buildings and lingering ghosts remain in Delamar. Big Rock Wilderness - Fully encompassing the southernmost portion of the South Pahroc Range, this gorgeous national park includes steep and jagged mountains, canyons and an expansive field of large, jumbled boulders loved by rock climbers all over the state. Recreational opportunities include climbing, camping, hiking, horseback riding and hunting.

[jlf23tumble]

Top 10 Niche Interests

Fixations? Obsessions? This is incredibly hard because I have wayyyy too many niche interests, so instead of stressing about it, I tried to channel the 10 things that immediately speak to me and maybe aren't so obvious from what I post here, like how much I'm obsessed with wigs, doll furniture, incredibly specific blogs, all forms of clothing with pockets, swimming pools, whimsical bus stops, over-the-top bathrooms, etc. etc Instead, I opted for some specifics that feel a little more evergreen and long tailed, like, so LIFE-long tailed that it's tough to nail down when or how they became part of the national psyche. I thank @alienfuckeronmain​ for the initial tag, and I'm tagging her AGAIN for round two because I know she has a billion additional niche things, and she'll post them, and I'll scream because it'll trigger five other things I neglected to post here, and I'll probably post my own round two, arggggh, insert aggressive sighing. Anyway, I tag ANYONE who wants to do it, just tag me so I can see! 

1. Indoor Trees

I have no idea why this concept PULLS so hard because houseplants are kind of meh to me, but you want to plant an entire-ass TREE indoors, in the place where you live? Me, too, and I'd add a conversation pit plus a combo gold/red bathroom, among other things, and, bam, we're in my imaginary dream home, which I have literally, constantly ALWAYS mentally constructed from the time I was about six or so. (If you're curious, it has multiple themed rooms, and the closest I've seen to it recently is the outstanding Dita von Teese AD feature, but Amy Sedaris’s apartment comes close, too). There are two (2) 1960s houses in Long Beach with magnificent indoor trees, but I can't find them online, so have this modern interpretation and cry with me about how I can't visit the multi-story fake tree inside Clifton's Cafeteria for a good long while:

2. Conventions of Fans of Any Kind

One thing that I don't think I'll ever lose is how much I *love* people who are fans of SOMETHING, people who have a passion and create something about it or cosplay it or simply gather to celebrate it and connect to other people through it. The Internet provides in all kinds of ways, but I'm talking specifically about IRL conventions and the way my heart pitter pats when I first walk in those doors, SWOON! And it doesn’t matter how big the convention is or how random, I've been to smaller events like CatCon and the My Little Pony convention all the way up to biggies like WonderCon and Comic Con, and I have yet to be disappointed. I might know jack shit about what I'm walking into, but I want to see the merch, hear about the panels, and check out the people who are fucking PUMPED to be there. Sadly, I think it's gonna be a lonnnnng time until these come back, but I can live vicariously through my old photos, sigh:

3. Dutch Wax Fabrics and African Fashion

I'm not the snazziest of dressers, but textiles, colors, and patterns have been an obsession that has soothed my visual soul for as long as I can literally remember. Wax fabric marries all three of those touchpoints, plus throws in a healthy dose of style, and I count myself lucky to have seen two big exhibits on the subject (this was one of them), oh, how I wish there were more! For sure, there's a fucked up underlying colonial/imperialist history here, but there's also humor and color and vibrancy, a reclamation of sorts, and multiple levels of fashion that take my breath away. I cannot do the different patterns justice at all, but the fan motif is one of my faves:

4. Hearst Castle vs. Madonna inn

These two fall into my #home tag because they're where I'm from, and they speak to me as equally sublime and ridiculous, camp and kitsch writ large and small, different (yet similar!) versions of Xanadu that two rich white men built as shrines to their own personal "taste." And the irony is that a lot of people shit on Alex Madonna for being tacky (the Madonna Inn is...uh, something else), yet praise WR Hearst for all the high-class art and architecture, most of which is fully lifted from desperate churches between and after world and yet they're both more or less the same concept (lodging for weary travelers, self-aggrandizement, questionable taste-mixing). Hearst Castle edges out slightly for me because it's bigger and has spectacular scenery and history, plus it gives me doses of LA noir thanks to the way Hearst killed a guy in a jealous Charlie Chaplin-related rage and Hedda Hopper covered it up, all kinds of old Hollywood shenanigans happened up there, etc. But I'm low-key an expert on both houses of the holy, I'm OBSESSED with both, and we can leave it at that. I mean, come on:

5. Snow Globes

I had to cull my personal collection slightly just to fit it all on the dedicated shelf in my bathroom, and I seriously need to refill all the water lines, but nothing beats a snow globe in terms of memorable souvenir, especially when you put it in a bathroom. The majesty!!! The jewel of my collection is the one from Sherwood Forest because WHY NOT celebrate a historic place and moment in the basic way?? He robbed from the rich to give to the poor, and the gift shop about 100 feet from the tree he hid in does the same! The circle of life! The irony of all the watermarks on this blessed image...protect:

6. Highly Specific Museums

Look, we can all agree that the more venerated museums in the world are a form of garbage in terms of what they represent, what they've done, and who runs them, but I'm here for the museums that collect and celebrate things that tend to get overlooked. There are too many to list that I love that are still thriving, so I'm going to say goodbye to four recently departed faves. RIP to the Pez museum, I'm so glad I saw you and purchased your stale candy souvenirs. RIP to the museum of terrible food, you were a pop up when Phoenix and I saw you, and I will forever think about the worker describing people literally vomiting during their visits. RIP to the currywurst museum in Berlin, I've had currywurst exactly once and it was not for me, but I respect the Journey you took me on, including obscure east German TV shows that helped make you so popular (??). Finally, RIP to the velvet painting museum, there's no way to mince words, the person who owned you was crazy AS FUCK and had zero clue how to run a business, but I'm so glad I saw you multiple times and purchased my own velvet treasure (not this exact one, but remarkably similar):

7. Liminal Spaces: Grocery Store Edition

Confession time for those who don't know me all that well, I'm a big time voyeur, and nothing fills my heart with joy like a walk at 7 or 8 pm, the witching hour when people haven't pulled the curtains, and I can scope out their decorations/furnishings without it being "weird." Another confession is how much I unabashedly adore grocery stores in other countries and will spend at least an hour wandering aisle by aisle, falling in love with how much everything is different yet completely the same:

8. Agatha Christie Novels:

As a child, I was a fairly compliant reader--I had to read something for school? Okay! For my mom? Sounds good! But the books that sparked the initial fire for me to read something purely for myself were second-hand (probably fourth- or fifth-hand, judging by cover art) Agatha Christie short story anthologies, which were the gateway drug to full Agatha Christie novels, then other mystery novels, and so on. But getting back to Agatha, I obviously loved all the stories, but every decade spawned incredibly good cover art (like, exceptionally good), and this particular artist's are right up near the top for me (I go back and forth on a lot of the '50s and '60s ones):

9. Scopitones

I link my obsession with scopitones both to my love of music videos in general and a shop in Austin, TX, that sold DVD compilations of them in particular, but either way, they're underappreciated and kitschy all in one! Francoise Hardy and the rest of the ye-ye's are my forever girls for this medium, but seemingly every country cranked them out, both actual set videos and "live" performances? If you don't know what they are, scopitones were machines that played music videos in French cafes in the '60s (??), so it was sort of your proto-MTV way to see your faves sing and dance. Oh, Francoise...so moderne!!

10. Cover Songs

I have so much patience and love for cover songs of any stripe, the more genre-bending and/or surprising, the better! My only minor beef is the trend in slooooooooowing down songs to make a point, but even those ones have a special place in my heart if they're effective. Live Lounge feeds my hunger the best, but my meta fave for representing this concept is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, which was already lyrically INSPIRED, a song about bad cover versions in terms of relationships, but then they did a video that was a visual "bad" cover version, with actors lip synching over an audio "bad" cover version, and all of it just worked? The cover for the single is someone in the band as a boy, making his own bad cover version of a Bowie album cover, it's meta meta meta, and I love love love, here's the video, if you're curious. In the more sublime cover category, I'm absolutely addicted to all of Orville Peck's covers, I truly hope he officially releases them sometime soon, but I wholeheartedly support any artist who does it:

[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss

Unlikeliest of encounters, Myrtle Beach version

As it so happened, Huckleberry Hound got the idea of spending some time at one of the outlet malls down here in Myrtle Beach on an otherwise slow winter's weekend. With yours truly, even, trying to avoid unnecessary and frivolous shopping unlikely to have any practical implications when all is said and done.

Which, on a Saturday afternoon, came to include something of an unlikely surprise visitor to the same outlet mall, the sort unlikely to travel incognito for reasons obvious: As in The Banana Splits "themselves," whose last recorded presence was as guest performers at the now-closed Hard Rock Park theme park here on the Grand Strand. Not to mention walkabout types, as I understand it.

"Now I wonder myself how they'd get here anyway," Huckleberry mused while we rested near a block of tacky outlet stores--at least until the gorilla-orangutan hybrid, Bingo, pulled off a double take such as drove them to our presence.

And I have to admit, were we stunned, surprised even, to see no less than Bingo, Drooper, Fleegle and Snorky back together, notwithstanding that rather awful horror-film treatment they were in.

"So what brought you back to The Grand Strand?" asked I.

To which Fleegle was quick to remark, "Hardly anything in particular."

"Except, maybe," Drooper chimed in, "just a random trip with nowhere in particular in mind. Just to clear our minds of that rather tasteless film."

"'Tasteless' ain't the half of it!" was how Bingo responded.

Which, at any event, was bound to be enough to dispense with the outlet mall and instead go for someplace more obvious--the Gay Dolphin Gift Cove, close to the Boardwalk. And perhaps a Grand Strand institution right there of long standing. And to imagine the Splits posing alongside kitschy statues/props of Elvis and Bigfoot as much as the racks of tacky souvenir T-shirts having "walking billboard" potential made you wonder how the tourists would react to the sight, imagining return of The Banana Splits, even, after such an awful horror film so featuring!

"Just makes you wonder," Huckleberry responded as we repaired to a modest little Low Country seafood house in a back alley off Ocean Boulevard, the main drag of Myrtle Beach, for a "see food" buffet (as Drooper depicted it) tending to crab as much as Southern specialities galore. With a dessert bar featuring typically Southern staples like chess pie, pecan pie and warm peach cobbler--the original dump cake, you might say, having learned somewhere that to "cobble up" means to put together quickly.

But particularly surprising to us was where Snorky, as interpreted by Drooper, had a surprise waiting for us in store ... which, know, will be revealed next time around.

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @theweekenddigest @nighttimehound @iheartgod175 @archive-archives @the-banana-splits-ask-blog @screamingtoosoftly @themineralyoucrave @princessgalaxy505 @the-banana-splits-blog @warnerbros-blog1 @tallcharlie @jellystone-enjoyer @thebigdingle @warnerbrosent-blog