#Or if it was the headphones themselves I'd be like Oh Okay some of the wires got loose since they're in separate lines

[sysig]

Looney Tunes-ass setup

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 3:00 p.m. yonsei university

[grant] did your dad apologize for being a dick, though?

[henry] of course. he was a good person and realized he was being a bit weird. he just hated noise. i think he'd have been happy to be born with a set of noise-canceling headphones attached to him.

[grant] except maybe he liked your mom’s noise from that day forward!

[henry] he did, but even if he hated it, he was probably glad to have hers back after a while. almost half the time they dated, they didn’t even live in the same country.

[henry] my mom worked at an art shop somewhere in seoul, and my dad had this sweet gig working at a museum in paris while getting a doctorate and doing some traveling, visiting art museums on every continent. he got the doctorate, but gave up the job to come back and marry my mom.

[henry] and she won out, to be honest. him teaching here was a prestigious position, and his family are pretty well off because they're in banking and all, so she got to quit her job after marriage, have me, and just sculpt for fun.

[grant] that’s the dream, right?

[henry] i think so.

[grant] it’s nice to be genuinely in love but also to support each other’s passions, too, whether that's helping them pursue a job or a hobby. i mean, that’s everything. that's the deepest form of connection. oh yeah, definitely the dream.

[henry] for sure. there wasn’t much for my mom to help with because she was never wealthy and her parents weren’t either, but she was a huge moral support. she was my dad’s biggest fan. sometimes getting a doctorate sucked, and he wanted to quit, but it was hard to quit with her on the sidelines cheering.

[henry] that’s like me and soobin. not much i can do on the money front because i'm not rich and i won't take money from my parents, and i couldn’t help with her medical school because i'm a certifiably terrible student, but i can be and am her cheerleader.

[henry] and i may not have been a photographer without her. being an artist is the worst career choice unless someone else has money to throw at the bills. and i make an okay salary! i have solid clientele booking all year long, but i don't charge what i "should" because i feel wrong asking too much money to do wedding photos and all. that shit's expensive - i'll take a small cut off the going rate so they get all they want for the big day.

[henry] besides, the one thing in life that makes me nervous is clients being unhappy. everything else about a wedding goes away except the photos. if they're unhappy, i'd rather the pricing not be an extra issue, you know? at least let it be a cheap mistake.

[grant] but you would have still pursued this, right? i can’t imagine you not at least trying it out. you have always been set on some kind of photography as a career. even when you were having a crisis around college graduation about whether you should pursue high-brow art or something very human and realistic like you do now, you never questioned if photography was your truth.

[henry] i would have. i've always known it was my goal. i just think the financial stress may have worn me down eventually if she wasn’t willing to shoulder an extra share of the burden. like i said, charging people themselves is a strange thing, and you just never know what can happen. sure, i did end up with a good brand through putting myself out there on social media, but that was no guarantee.

[henry] if that hadn't worked out, i'd have been in trouble. and when you don't have a lot of clients or reach, you have to be conservative and sometimes that hurts you on growth. blah blah blah. point is, i owe soobin a lot, both for financial support and her total faith in me.

[grant] well, teamwork makes the dream work and all that!

[henry] hey, you're part of the team, too. there's no one else i'd rather call at 3AM asking to check the red balance on my pictures because everything looks green to me. and as it turns out, having a friend with a massive family who host many events requiring photography is excellent for clientele building.

[youmeshii]

han yujin × reader

warning ; she/her pronouns used, the f word is said ONCE, intentional lowercase, not proof read (i wrote this in 40 mins 💀), im younger than yujin i have the right to write this

tags ; no beta we die like real men, friends to (possible) lovers, tooth-rotting-ish fluff, yujin is a living and breathing staring contest bc hes awkward n i love him

a/n ; unfortunately, i will be delaying the publishing of my gunwook fic cause i'd like for it to be the best of the bestest but i wanted to spice up my page a lil bit and coincidentally, i have an awful yujin brainrot. so yujin drabble!!!!!

wc ; 0.6k

hold me close and say you care, 'cause i'm in love with your black hair ♪

"fuck, my headphones died." you groaned in annoyance, yujin's stare bearing into your skull. it would've been okay if it died back at home but on a road trip in the middle of nowhere, you don't have a lot of options.

your eyes travel to his, finally snapping him out of the spell you put on him. "yes?" your head tilts as you ask. he thinks it's the cutest thing he ever saw.

now feeling a little awkward, he looks down onto his bag and starts rummaging through his things. confusion still displays on your face yet you continue to watch his doings.

he pulls out a badly tangled bundle of earphones. "you can use this...?" he hesitated, you almost couldn't tell if it was a statement or not.

you let out a small laugh and his guard finally drops, laughing along with you. sure, he was all awkward and shy around you, but he still cared enough to offer a way for you to continue listening to your music.

"if it wasn't so tangled, i might be able to." you said, remnants of your laugh left on your face and made itself into a wide smile.

his cheeks started glowing with a rosy color as he pauses for a second before trying to untangle his earphones. why is it so tangled? why can't he get it out? this is his only chance!

"need some help there?" he jolts up at your voice and just blanks out. he looked like a child who just got caught eating too many candies. panicked on the inside, completely still on the outside.

you laugh at his still figure. his awkwardness from this whole situation made this so much funnier for you. grabbing his earphones, you test your luck and attempt to untangle it yourself.

"i think you tangled it even more." you joked, swiftly untangling the wires and putting them in their respective places. due to the gods' luck and pure will power, you successfully untangled the earphones.

out of a sudden, yujin suddenly breathed a sigh of relief. you turned to look at him and his flushed face. you weren't very close, but it's nice to know he isn't just shy smiles and awkward laughs.

connecting the earphones to your phone, you open spotify and tapped on your most used playlist. on shuffle, you heard one of your favorite love songs.

"oh! yujin!" you called his name, his eyes automatically locking themselves onto you like he has so many times. he always looks at you with so much intent, it was honestly really cute.

"wanna share? one of my favorite songs' playing." you extended your arm to give him one of the earphones, him politely accepting.

he looked at the title, "1999" by beabadoobee. he mentally noted that it's one of your favorites and to listen to it again, of course.

"hold me close and say you care, cause i'm in love with your black hair~" you sang absentmindedly. little did you know, the boy next to you was stunned. he didn't know if it was because of your singing, or the fact that you changed the lyrics.

why did she say black hair? the song clearly said brown hair. he was confused. was it really for him?

the song continues playing as yujin's emotions only grew stronger. somehow, he felt like he was feeling everything all at once. he couldn't explain it, it was too complex.

nearing the end of the song, you hummed the lyrics joyfully. his eyes still boring into you, just as it was so many times before.

you turned to face him, "the lyrics are really pretty, right?" he stared right back into your eyes, a new feeling erupting in him and seeping into the way he stared at you.

"yeah, they're really pretty."

[inkofamethyst]

March 27, 2024

daylist: symphonic nerdy wednesday evening (city pop, japanese jazz, orchestra, film score [it was exclusively ~vgm~ (lots of NieR and Final Fantasy, lots of vocal tracks!) lol], mmorpg)

song obsession of the week: The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace - The Amazing Devil gfkgdkjgkjfgkjd

Man I am just so pro-right to repair. Was thinking about getting some new headphones because the earpads on the ones I've had for years have been flaking bad for months, but they sell what are essentially the same earpads online! The headphones themselves are still fully functional, so why contribute to electronic waste when I don't have to? And now they feel perfect :)

Speaking of repair though, I've been done dirty by orthodontists and dentists all my life. And now I might have to pay, again, to fix issues that were ultimately caused by them. I've done (almost) everything right. Wore my retainers nightly, brushed, and I'm now into flossing regularly. So annoying.

Anyway I'm lowk stressing about the future (because of course I am) because even though I could "afford" a solo apartment, I also can't help but feel like that would be squandering my opportunity to save a ton toward the future when my savings would make the most impact (yeah, sorry, it's another one of these, and won't be the last I'm sure). Living solo is something I want and would love to do. And according to my calculations, I could. Even without sacrificing retirement and saving toward a house. Which is more than most graduate/PhD students are ever able to do during their schooling. But it's the anxiety of knowing that I could do more if I had even just one roommate. It's like, considering my situation as a student, what I already have saved, what I will be able to save, what I will have left over each month (a seriously comfortable sum (because, like a platypus, I don't do much)), I would be fine. I would be happy! But having one roommate wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, I guess. And then I could contribute more to my future happiness.

I don't know.

Can I place a monetary value on comfort?

I have a little under a year to figure out what I'm going to do. I can tell you what I want. I want someone to tell me that choosing to live alone would not be ruinous. That it'd be okay. That it'd be worth it for my contentment. That I'm taking the right steps, that I have a good foundation set. But I have to make the decision by myself. And then live with it. Through whatever comes. Because I don't really want to move more than once more before my program ends (and another thing, it would be much more difficult to save up for moving again if I lived alone).

Part of me wants to approach this with the mindset that the future is never guaranteed. And that, as a result, it's okay to splurge now. (Also there's the part about my grandmother potentially not being able to take care of her dog as she ages, and I wouldn't want to rehome her entirely (the puppy, not my grandmother).)

But like, okay. The 50-30-20 needs-wants-saving axis, right? I could stick "living alone" as part of wants since I don't otherwise really spend that much in wants ultimately.

Let me go calculate.

Okay. Post-tax (which is how you're meant to calculate 50-30-20), I'd be doing a bit better than the suggested model (but!!! this includes all the help I'm getting without which I simply would not consider this in the first place).

Let me... let me do some future sims.

nerdwallet says I'll be fine.

Okay. Okay! okay.. Ohh-kay.

I'm not completely decided but at least I have all that information available to me.

Today I'm thankful that.. I don't have a lot of homework tonight. So I can go to bed. OH OH ALSO thankful the person I've wanted as my secondary advisor for months but was too afraid to ask said yes and seemed happy to say so <3

[edit, ~a week later: the trouble will be finding a 1b/1b at my price point (still pretty low for this area since I don't really want to settle for a studio) that's close enough and has my minimum requirements (I suppose another potential option would be saving aggressively for another year to grind out a pot of money that would sustain me for three years at a slightly higher price point)]

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

Good morning Ray! Just popping by to let you know I am thoroughly (re)enjoying your kinktober posts! The perfect nightcap! Thank you so much for those!

And now a question that I have been dying to ask!

Mickey and Ian are making really good money with their business. They have enough to live a very comfortable life. What are the first things they buy that would be considered indulgences, both together and separately?

first of all anna let's pretend this isn't like a month late mmkay? 🥲

indulgences! okay, honestly i think it starts off with food? like that's the first opportunity where they actually realize they can splurge and not worry about deals/trying to cut down the bill? it dawns on them as they're putting in an online delivery order that they can afford to get that appetizer, and actually they can get another one, and what the fuck, they might as well get enough to eat for tomorrow too! food security was a big thing for both of them growing up, so i think this would be a Moment where they rightfully go overboard and treat themselves, before realizing they can spend it on Things now too.

now, individually. for mickey, i'd love to see him buy some really nice pencils and drawing paper, or however he's continuing his art. maybe he even invests in a wacom and dicks around with digital? grumbling about how hard it is, a little cartoony sizzle of smoke from his head as he tries to figure out line weights. he also puts a lot of money into finding his fashion sense and it pays off big time.

for ian, maybe he gets back into video games and feels the euphoria of not having to save up for new releases. he can just buy that shit. mickey will play with him, or draw in the same room as him while he plays. OH my god could you imagine franny buys him those headphones with cat ears on it for christmas. iconique.

TOGETHER they buy a really good roomba because fuck cleaning. ian keeps referring to it as Mickey and finally mickey is like "why the fuck you callin it my name" and ian just says "cause it's good at sucking"

[star-sim]

hiihii, 🦊 anon back here !! Im gon be info dumping u the shii cuz u said u were invested, but if u dont want to readall of it I completely understand cuz like I wrote a whole ass shii 😭😭

--------

okay so like there's thay copycat, let's call her P !! technically, she's been a friend since last year, but I didnt really consider her as one cuz she mostly talked with my other two friends from our closest friend group n like nobody else. (we're a group of five without her) She sorta randomly appeared, but I ofc didnt mind cuz its always nice to meet new ppl n make new friends yk ??

(extra thingy for this year => one friend changed schools to another city, another doesnt hang out with us anymore but does online, n then there's another who isnt in the same classes so we only see each other during breaks. so its just me n another friend, (let's call her F) she's has been my closest friend since years ago so far !!

Okayokay now on to the real shii; since the new school year, P asked the school if she could be in the same class as me and F (because we're always together). so practically, P is also my classmate now. BUT !! I've noticed she favours F more than me, which doesnt bother me much bc we all have preferences at some point 🤷‍♀️ HOWEVER its getting a bit uncomfy because she's slowly been like starting to copy me and seems to be trying to exclude me to get closer to F ever since school started

Im insecure about friendships, so I get jealous when I see F paying more attention to P than to me (at least Im self aware 😞) oh, abt the copying part, I have a list to explain omllll !! for instance, I have an online school timetable with a specific colour palette (we have our own from our school's app but I'd like to use my own [another one] cuz then its a widget) she saw it and asked about the app n then the next week, she did the same thing with the exact same colors for each subject ?? Its not a big deal, but its abs noticeable.. like I get it u wanna use the same app cuz Ik how handy it is but using the same colours is starting to become extra .. then theres the school stationary, especially the pencil case and highlighters. I have a clear see-through pencil case and pastel highlighters (so coquette) n after two months or somewhere around that, she got the same ones. AGAIN, not a huge deal, but then she started comparing highlighters and saying she should have bought the same ones as me (?? Girl tf) Its frustrating because she's indirectly indicating that she wants to be or have the same shii as me 😭 n I dont like that. Ik some ppl do but I jst dont

Another example is my headphones. I have specific ones (JBL I lub em sm), n in December or smth, she also got the same ones but in pink (I have black ones) Its not about the headphones themselves tho, but the fact that she claimed we have the same ones when they're CLEARLY different. It's a fcking pattern, even with little things like a pocket mirror that she suddenly wants after seeing mine ?? 😭 "oh, I want to have one too now n use it like u" *proceeds to buy n never use it anyways* 💀

oh oh, then theres the issue of her comparing grades (no like wtaf) my average is at least 70%, which Im abs content with, but I wish I had more motivation to study m improve 😞 ahe studies n has an average of 74%, which is great for her ofc !! but she constantly YAPS abt having higher grades n being smarter, not realizing the difference between being book-smart n actually intelligent like girl theres a diff between the 2 yk 😭😭

P is actually fcking starting to get on my nerves, especially after half a year of this bs .. the friend who changed schools was like the mother of the group, n I miss her a lot (she's coming back next year tho, yippie !!) P seems to be trying to exclude me from the friend group n from my bestie F :( I havent told anyone else cuz like Im afraid theyll jst think Im overreacting, but I did confide in T ( the transfer student friend, lets call her that !!), n shes on my side (duh ofc cuz she also noticed from last year how she only sticked to F) but I dont want to tell F herself cuz I dont think she'll believe me. I used to feel happy and comfy being myself before P joined in, but now I feel like Im constantly being criticized n copied :// Its even worse bc she made fun of my cat's name !! (Like, I told her my cat's name cuz at one point we were talking abt cats n I told her I had gotten a new one that summer. atm she was doing that gossip whisper thingy to somebody else n when I told her that she had to be honest and confess she was making fun of my cat's name she went like "ohhhh, for a cat name !! I thought a human name" n then fake smiles omfl ..)

------

ANYWAYSSSS, TAKE CARE 😽 love ur fics Istg I dont think I'd survive here w/out ur writings Im not joking 😭 ur fics r like one of the only ones that I'd even WANT to read no matter the 10k+ wc (thats a lot for me n I prefer short ones, but ur longer ffs r like TOP TIER MWAH)

-🦊

oh girl ur stronger than me bc P would make me yell....

u and F are like for-lifers.... the friends that you keep when things change are the ones that you need to CHERISH FR

i think ur like 100% valid for the friendship jealousy, i get SO jealous too ur like real for that. like looking at these individual examples it doesn't come off that P is trying to copy you.... but when you look at it ALTOGETHER as ONE BIG MASSIVE PICTURE.... yikessss

i cant stand P sorry... like the excluding thing is making me seethe

AND THE CATS NAME THING WOULD BE MY FINAL STRAW GIRLLL STAY IN UR OWN LANE

i don't think ur overreacting, ur like 100% valid for this one

i am SO on your side

imo i think it's important to talk to F about this... and if she does not react well then drop her!!! if your best friend cannot take your feelings into consideration then that's not good!!

i'm glad that you like me fics btw!! it means a lot <3333

thanks for stopping by 🦊 anon!!! mwah mwah love you (and lmk if i need to air raid P)

[photobombs83]

The underpass is nice. I like it. The darkness of the space, the sound of nature and cars driving by with my music playing in my headphones.

It's beautiful.

Oh how I wish to share it with someone.

I want to meet someone, someone who I can learn to love. Someone who can learn to love me.

Someone who I can kiss passionately under the underpass. Sharing our cigarettes. Sharing our stories. Sharing our wounds.

I'd love to take someone here. Yet I have no one.

The love of my life is gone.

He would've loved it here.

He was perfect.

I didn't care how flawed he was. I still loved him.

I still Love him.

He showed me the sides he was most afraid of.

Yet I still loved him.

If the love of your life shows a side that you may find "concerning" or" scary"

It's okay. If you really do love them..

Don't let them go after that. Stay.

Show how much you love them.

Show them you truely care.

Yes it can be alot to take in but it's still the person you fell for. It's still the person you love.

Don't ever let them go.

Love them. Tell them you love them.

No matter what.

They could be happy. They could be upset.

Or you could find them in a tough place where they're hurting people and themselves.

You may feel scared but if you love them you know that you have to stay. Not just for their sake but for yours too.

Everyone acts out sometimes and that's okay.

Some acts shouldn't change your perspective on them.

If you love them enough you'll stay with them until their last dying breath.

[jjkw-7]

Among the Stars

xxx!idol x female!fan

Word Counting: 8784

Part 2

The rest of the week flew by and Monday came way too fast. To my dismay, I got paired with Ae-cha in room B 1. Lovely, not only is right by the stairways I also had to be paired with her.

"So, how are you linking it here?" I try to make conversation as we unpack.

"It's way more boring than I expected." I don't think she is a talkative one. "So, how long have you and Jimin been dating for?"

"Where did you get that idea from?" I reply laughing.

"That day in the library, I overheard Jimin and Jungkook speaking about you." I raise my eyebrow as I try to remember if I heard anything while walking in. I don't, I also made sure to let the boys know they weren't alone as soon as I realized she was snooping around. "After you walked in I remember Jungkook saying for you guys to get a room."

"Oh, that?" I laugh harder. "JK was just messing with us, trust me nothing is going on between me and Jimin, or anyone else for that matter. The last time I was involved with anyone was in college."

"Are you a saint then?"

"No, I just have not fallen in love, ever." I thought I was in love before, but I really did. But in retrospect, it was never love.

"You never been in love?" She asks in disbelief.

"No." My answer is short but definitive. "But you had boyfriends before?" She asks a little slow as if trying to make sense of it in her head.

"Yes, at the time I did think it was love but now I understand it was just attraction," I explain while folding my last shirt and getting up to go and collect my dresses. "As soon as the high was over things would get boring and I would lose interest so fast, it couldn't have been love."

"How about you?" I ask while getting up.

"I've been and am in love." She states confidently.

I smile. "I honestly envy you. I hope I know how it feels one day." And with that, I leave to get my dresses.

Suga was laying in my old bed as I arrive.

"Hey there princess, did you change the sheets?" I twist my nose and puff.

"Don't call me princess, and of course I did, on top of princess you call me a pig?" I'm annoyed at that stupid nickname.

"Princess suits you, and I ask because I'm pretty sure I smell Kookie." I grab a pillow a throw it at him.

"That joke is old, find something else," I say as he laughs together with V who just appeared from behind the curtain.

"Sure thing, princess." Fucking annoying! I grab my damn dresses and get out of that room as soon as possible. Unfortunately, due to the mountain of dresses, I was carrying, I lost my footing and fell hard at the bottom of the stairs. Thankfully just a couple of steps down but I still couldn't help the small scream that escaped my throat, nor the tears that filled my eyes.

Both Suga and V came running down the stairs.

"Are you okay?" V asks, but I'm unable to speak as I am biting my lip as hard as I can to try to trick my brain away from the throbbing pain coming from my ankle.

Suga takes the dresses from me as V helps me up, he guides me to my room. Right now I am so very happy that it is right next to the stairs. They leave me in the room and go and get some ice. Just as they arrive the voice comes with instructions. "RM, please go to the delivery door as soon as possible. Ae-cha, lock yourself in the studio. The rest should lock themselves in their rooms and wait for instructions. You have 5 minutes." And just like that, the voice is gone.

Soon after RM comes into my room and hands me a sleep mask, and some headphones. "You have to put this on. Someone will come and help you take it out later. Don't react, a medical team will come to have a look at your foot, you won't have to quit unless you need surgery." He says and I nod. I'm terrified, I don't think it's broken, but the possibility of having to give up turns my stomach. I'd rather lose fair and square than forfeit.

The medical team was there pretty fast. They hurt me a bit but I did not complain once. I know for sure they took pictures as I could feel the place of the portable x-ray machine on my foot. After what seemed like an eternity, someone took this stupid noise concealing headphones out, and I knew it was my cue to take the sleep mask off as well.

"You scared the crap out of us." Jimin sounded angry. "Can't you look at where you're going?"

"Or ask for help?" Nabi continues.

"Guys she is stressed enough." Thankfully Hana came in my defense.

"Anyone knows what's happening?" I am still in the dark as I did not hear what the voice said afterward.

"I just know that the voice said we were free to go and visit you and make sure you knew to stay in bed with your foot lifted until further instructions." Jimin adjusted my foot on the pillow as he says it.

"Well, it's not broken," I say as a matter of fact.

"If it was broken, you wouldn't be here." Nabi states.

"You are right," I say looking down ashamed. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to worry you."

"Worry us? You sh..." Hanna starts but Jimin throws her a look stopping her from finishing the sentence.

"What now?" I ask. "I don't like being left outside of the loop."

"Nothing, I am just angry and scared and frustrated." Hanna smiles. "You scared the living shit out of me." That last sentence was in English and made me laugh.

Later that day the voice announced that my foot was not broken but I had a bad sprain. 3 days of absolute rest. I was allowed 1 TV that Suga and Jin kindly installed for me, plus a choice of 3 movies a day. I had to take my medication on time and someone would be allocated to bring help me out for the rest of the time. It would be a random allocation by the computer since almost everyone wanted to do it.

We would both be given a walkie-talkie so they wouldn't have to be with me all the time. In the eventuality that Ae-cha is not the one chosen, she will exchange rooms with whoever will be taking care of me. Right now, I was awaiting my prescribed medication for the pain, as well as the results of who would be my lucky slave for the next few days. Might as well have some fun with the situation.

Suddenly, Ae-Cha comes in looking unhappy. She starts packing her stuff again. Why is she unhappy? If she is unpacking that means it isn't her.

"Why are you upset?" I ask. "Is it about having to change rooms? I'm sorry."

"No, it's more that I wanted to change rooms with Nabi. But didn't work that way." Ah yes, Nabi was paired with JK this week. I nod my head that makes sense. "So where are you going?"

"A2." She says.

"What? But that is Nabi's room." Now I'm confused. She looks at me as if I'm stupid, and then it clicks. "Ah, got it."

After about one hour of looking at the walls, JK comes in with his stuff. He doesn't even look at me. What is his problem now? Is it that bad to help me out? Can't you just refuse? Now I'm pissed.

When he was finally done he left the room again only to come back a few minutes later. He hands me a glass of water and a few pills, still not looking me in the eye. I take them and place the now empty glass on the bedside table. When I look at it, there stands a walkie-talkie, together with a note saying a soft song will be played when it's time to take my medication. I only have to take the blue pills when the soft song plays, if a rock song plays it means I can take another painkiller, but only if I'm in pain.

"What movie do you want to watch first?" JK finally looks at me.

"The greatest showman," I say and I think I can see a small smile.

"Can we wait till after dinner? I want to watch that one too." He says and I nod

He goes out to get our food while I pick up one of the books that he brought earlier and start reading the prologue. He is back just as I finish reading it.

We eat in silence and he sets up the movie once we are done. He surprises me by adjusting my position on the bed to the side and sitting next to me. It is a small bed, for us to fit together we have to cuddle. I am laying on his chest, my foot resting on top of a pillow that he had set on top of his legs. WTF. There is no way he is not feeling how my heart is going 1000 miles per hour right now.

I try to take deep slow breaths, to calm my heart down, but as the movie progresses I get so emerged in it that my being like this with JK doesn't affect me anymore. It is not even the middle of the movie when I start to feel my eyes close. Whatever this medication is it must be strong. I am aware I'm falling asleep but have no way to stop myself. The continuous movements of JK playing with my hair with his right hand, and making small circles on my right hand with his other hand doesn't help and I soon feel myself slip out of reality.

Something shifts under me as I hear soft music playing in the background. I open my eyes to see the movie was over and it was dark outside.

I slowly lift myself, never moving my leg, and reach for the blue pills and the old glass of water but it's empty. I have to wake up JK.

I shake him a little but he really sleeps heavily. I try it a bit more violently and have no response. WTF am I supposed to do? Then I had a crazy idea. I put two fingers over his nose and covered his mouth with my hand. Soon enough he started to wake up and I let him breathe again.

"Are you crazy?" He asks me fighting for his own breath. "You want to kill me?"

"I'm sorry." I pout. "I couldn't wake you up, this was the only idea I had."

"Well, it worked but seriously, let's avoid this way from now on." He looks at me and him. "Oh crap, I fell asleep on your bed again."

"That isn't the issue." I point to the speakers. "I need to take the pills and have no water."

"Hold on." He lifts my foot as he moves his own from under me and places my foot back in place.

He returns shortly with some water that he hands me and I take the pills.

"Can we continue the movie?" I ask. "I think the last part I remember was when they were meeting that opera singer."

"Yeah, sure." He finds the correct scene and presses play, and sits in his bed. I purse my lips in disapproval. He notices.

"What?"

"I was comfortable with you here." His face turns bright pink and I laugh out loud.

"Have you no shame?" He asks but comes towards my bed anyways.

"I do, but I'm feeling bold today." I smile.

"People are going to start thinking things that aren't." He says looking at me seriously.

"Let them think what they want, we know the reality," I say turning to watch the movie once more, laying across JK's chest.

I woke up alone. Stretching my arms I sit up straight in bed. I decide I'm going to give it a go at taking a bath and by the time I am back both Suga and Saem are waiting for me.

"Jungkook's having a life now so we decided to visit you." Suga starts. "I'm sorry I have annoyed you."

"Don't sweat it." I smile at him while Saem comes to help me back into bed.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"As well as I can feel being stuck here with this useless foot." I shrug. "How about you guys? What are you up to?" "Trying to figure out Gi." Suga is the one replying.

"Gi? How come?" He acts weird sometimes, but I always thought he was just a bit shy.

"We don't believe he is a fan." Hell yes juicy theories, I'm all here for them. I nod, gesturing for him to continue. "You know all of you asked some really good questions. You asked things that were always related to things we did or said. He asks basic stuff, things that a true ARMY would have known."

"OMG! What if that is his secret?" I ask and they look at me confused.

"How?" Seam questions.

"Well, he might be the anti-fan," I suggest.

"That would be too easy then." Suga shuts the idea down.

"But what if it's not only that he is an anti-fan but we also need to know the reason behind it?" Seam suggests.

"That makes more sense." Suga agrees and I nod. "If that is his secret he will be too cautious around us."

"But maybe not around me?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Well you are a very big fan so he might." True that, I think he would open up more to Ae-cha if anything. "But I am very observant, leave it up to me."

"Are you?" Suga smirks.

"What do you mean?" Am I missing something? "I literally found out 2 secrets in less than 1 day."

"Maybe for some things you are." Seam agrees.

"What is this? Are you both ganging up on me?" I cross my arms feeling annoyed again.

"We are just teasing you." Suga smiles and shuffles my hair.

"Hi there." Nabi comes in, carrying my breakfast. "Jungkook is still busy so I bring you breakfast."

"Thank you, Nabi." That looks absolutely delicious. I smile as I accept the tray.

Dang and Seam leave very soon after Nabi arrived so it's just the two of us there while I eat breakfast.

"How is it?" She asks me after a while.

"It's okay. I'm resting a lot which I actually needed to so that is kinda perfect." I smile.

"I am curious about something." She is playing with the edge of my sheets so I know she is uncomfortable to say it. I encourage her by telling her she could ask me anything. "I overheard Da-Eun getting extremely frustrated about your bias. She said she spent the whole night before the show looking at 7 years' worth of reactions."

"That is some persistence right there." I laugh.

"I just don't understand what is so bad about admitting who your bias is." Right.

"Do you have a bias?" I ask and she shakes her head no.

"I'm like them all equally." She states.

"Well, I wish I did too." I sigh. "Look, the way I see it without one of them, they are not BTS. I love them all, I do. But there is that one that calls for me. When he is in his zone, his voice speaks to my soul. I can't explain it but it is as if I have a connection with him that I can't get with the others and I find it unfair. The others worked just as hard if not even harder, they give us all the same love and attention, I repeat they love us equally. Still, I cannot do the same for them. And I guess that really affects me."

RM comes in at that precise moment. "You are wrong." He sits down on the other side of my bed.

"We don't love you all equally, it's part of human nature." He smiles. "We respect you all equally, that is different. We try to give you all the same amount of attention but even we can't do that. Look at Jimin, he doesn't let go of you two, it's not like he does it on purpose but he has a special connection that was formed through experiences and his background as well as your personality."

"What?" I and Nabi say at the same time.

"Seriously, we all have our own bias." He explains.

"Wow, I never thought that you guys had bias too." I chuckle. "Still, it isn't the same. You guys know the fans, we just have a general idea, painted to us. We think we know you, but do we?"

"We have the same." RM counters. "To us, the ARMY does no wrong, and even when they do we see it as they had good intentions at heart, like when they leak our content that we have planned for months or when they hack into our accounts. We feel bad, but in our hearts, we see it as them just wanting to be closer to us."

"I still think it isn't the same." Nabi nods agreeing.

"I see both your points and I think both are valid." She says. "It is hard to form an opinion but I don't think any of you are wrong. You have the right to feel how you feel and that is something no explaining can do. As they say, the heart wants what the heart wants, the ears hear what they want to hear, the brain makes the assumption it wants to make."

"Okay let's put it like this." RM starts. "You didn't know us at all, as you said. You knew only the image we have painted to the public correct?"

"Yes". I confirm.

"So now that you know us a bit better, has your bias changed?" He asks.

"Well no, but still I don't know any of you enough," I answer honestly.

"And do you think, that even if you get to know us enough, it will change?" He presses.

"I can't answer that question, as those events haven't occurred, I simply don't know." I mean there is always the chance. "But then it wouldn't be that my bias had changed, but that I have made friends with that I share a strong connection and we understand each other on another level."

"I have to admit you are some stubborn woman." RM throws his hands in the air finally giving up.

"Well, what if I ask it differently," Nabi is quick to give it a try too "you knew that coming to this show could jeopardize all your efforts to keep your bias a secret right?"

"Yes, I did and I had to think for a long time before I finally accepted to participate."I still remember the crying fit right after I had hung up the phone the day I accepted this.

"So, why did you do it?" She looks me right in the eye. "Why would you risk it all?"

In all honesty, I had thought about this a lot. Why did I say yes? To travel? To meet the boys in person? For fame? Was it to run away from a job that I used to love but was slowly making me hate? Was I running away? Or maybe trying to find me? No. It was none of it.

"I wanted to prove myself wrong." I breathe. "I wanted to see for myself that I was just a crazy fangirl and that no one is that perfect, I wanted to get rid of these biased feelings, I wanted to end the endless and ridiculous online stalking. I just wanted it all over."

I pause and look at them, both silent not knowing what to say. "I'm ridiculous ain't I?" I give a humorless laugh and continue. "All I wanted was to be normal, I was worried that I'd become sick."

"Have you?" Nabi asks in a serious tone.

"No," I answer truthfully. "I mean, I am not chasing him around, he is free to have his freedom. I never look for him, if he comes to me it's from his own will. That is at least a question I manage to answer myself, I am not crazy obsessed, I am just a very big fan that loves him and supports him and just wants him to be happy. But this is how I see it, now that I have opened up tell me, what do you think?"

"So to get it straight, your feelings have not changed?" Nabi is the first to speak.

"No, they did definitely." I don't know how to put it but I'll try my best. "I got to see him, I see how he acts with others, how kind he is, how thoughtful, I see how he talks about his fans, his family, his friends, and band mates. If anything, so far, it just confirmed that I should feel how I do, but as I said I don't know him enough."

"You know him enough," RM says and smiles. "You know him too well."

I look at him confused but before I open my mouth Nabi stops me. "What he means is, your feelings have evolved. You are falling for him."

"I am not." That is ridiculous. "You guys are seeing things that aren't there."

"Let me give you a piece of advice," RM says while getting up. "Don't look for validation of things that not even you believe in yourself. The only loser will be you if you do." And with that, he leaves the room.

I have been called to the studio, for a 1-to-1 talk with the producer. The studio is soundproof, and has only one camera and a few mics to record, but is the only place where it isn't streaming 24/7.

If the production wants they can release to the public what happens within it, but they cannot release anything that BTS records unless they have their label permission.

I am tapping my fingertips against the armrest of the chair as I wait for the producer to arrive. I can help but smile, knowing that I am at the very place where the next album is currently being recorded. Sometimes I hear one of the boys humming it, but they stop it as soon as they notice they aren't alone.

"Hello Miss Y/L/N." I hear a voice from the speakers and notice the director is now visible on the computer screen. "How are you doing?"

"All healed up, thank you." It has been a few days since the incident and I am happy to be out of bed.

"So while you were resting, we have called V by himself to the studio as well, with a proposition." He starts and I stiffen, whatever it is it can't be good.

"After a lot of convincing he finally agreed to it, now we have to ask you for your cooperation." I nod for him to continue. "We want you two to date."

"Excuse me?" I must have not heard correctly.

"Well obviously not for real and you need to build it up gradually. The public will know it's a mission so you will not be experiencing any backlash for this." Oh my God, he is actually serious.

"You are insane if you think I will not get backlash, even if it's just for pretending to date a member." I am amazed a the stupidity of this guy.

"Miss Y/N, dating in Korea is slightly different from in the west. It's way more subtle and," he pauses as if trying to find the right word for it, "fewer hands-on." Wow, he did not just call us Western sluts?

"What do you mean by less hands-on?" I am clearly getting aggravated by his wording.

"I don't mean it like that, I apologize. What I meant is we are more conservative. Anyways Mr. Hak. asked me to tell you that Amelia says it is in the best of your interests to do it." Crap. Both me and Amelia had agreed that if this sentence is ever used by the production it was a message from her that things were not looking good and I should go to the production team's plan. Which I am really against.

"Okay." I breathe, I am trusting Amelia with this.

"Okay? Do you mean you will do it?" He asks, looking surprised.

"Yes. I'm in."

"Great! During Sunday's life, we will announce that the public voted for next weeks sleeping arrangements and that you as V were voted to stay as roommates for the following week." He explains. "You and he have to come up with a plan to set up the scene. You cannot just say you are dating. This needs to be very subtle, the rest have to start wondering about it, rumors should start, and expect some confrontation in the future. Stand your ground. From now on you are in love with Taehyung. Please start using his name before the week is over, instead of his stage name. You are free to go." I get up feeling slightly numb, I need a fucking drink.

I grab a pack of beers from the fridge and go to the storage room. Steal one pack of cigarettes and head to the back garden. Finally, I sit myself behind the greenhouse, where no one will bother me.

I rarely smoke, only when I'm stressed. I shouldn't but now I need it, the whole of my body craves the release of dopamine that brings me. After a few drags, I start to feel light-headed, due to not being used to it. I take a sip of my bare and close my eyes. Enjoying the sun.

"Hey." I look to my left to see Jimin standing there.

"Please go away, I don't want anyone to see me in this state," I ask, trying to keep my voice from cracking out of the sheer amount of anger I'm feeling. I regret accepting it, but I know that Amelia only wants what is best for me, I know that this is for my own good.

"I'm not going anywhere, I think you need company." He says sitting next to me and stealing a bear from my pile. "Just go." I take another drag and close my eyes.

"Not going anywhere." He sings. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just missing home." I breathe.

"I can understand that." I hear a lighter going and my head snaps in his direction. He lit a fucking cigarette. "I'll smoke to that too."

*

We are all sitting down, nervously awaiting the results from the first public vote when the presenters finally come to tell us who it is. After some suspense they finally announce Ae-cha is leaving the house, I honestly breathe in relief that Saem is staying. We say our goodbyes and JK actually hugs her before she walks out of the door. He seems a little sad which I think it's odd since he seemed to show that he disliked her a lot, but I'm not with them all the time so I do not know if they ended up making up.

We open a bottle of champagne to celebrate the fact Saem was staying and waited for the presenters to come and say their goodbyes.

"Hi everyone. How are you feeling now that you survived your first voting?" The female presenter asks.

"Good." We all reply. I laugh feeling tipsy.

"Something we did not tell you is that we also had another voting going on with the public this week." Here we go.

"That's right Hyun-woo, the public had special online voting. This week you will not be drawing from the hats for your rooms." Ye-jun says.

"Here are next week's room arrangements as per public choice by room order.

A1 - V and Y/N A2 - Jimin and Da-Eun A3 - J-Hope and Hanna B1 - Jin and Ari B2 - RM and Nabi B3 - J C- Suga and Saem.

Since there would be someone on their own for the first time, we decided we should not leave it to luck." Hyun-woo finishes.

"We wish you all a good evening and see you Wednesday for our first voting or update, depending if more secrets are revealed." Ye-jun smiles and waves as Hyun-woo says goodnight and the TV turn off.

We all start scattering and I rush to my room and start packing. JK enters soon after me but doesn't say a word. It feels exactly as when he had to move with me due to my accident. Actually, it feels worse, it feels like we regressed to when he was acting like a child. This thought made me puff in annoyance.

After packing I leave the room. I need to feel the need to sweat so maybe some exercise would do me well before heading to bed. That and the fact I don't feel like having bad energy around me, and for the first time, I felt it dripping from JK. I am thankful we won't be sharing a room next week, ever since that first night we watched a movie together, he has been avoiding me and distant, maybe because he reconnected with Ae-cha and she didn't want him to be close to me? I don't know. As I head towards the gym the studio door opens and I am pulled inside.

"What the hell?" I ask V. "Couldn't you just call me like a normal person?"

"Sorry, I didn't want anyone seeing us together before tomorrow." He says laughing. "Have you been setting the ground?"

"No, I can't even think of how to start," I say letting myself fall on the closest chair.

"Well I had to start already, I am too close to the boys so I actually started as soon as I was asked about the mission." Oh, that makes sense.

"What have you done?" I'm curious to know what's his approach.

"Well first was Jimin, he is skeptical of the group. I have just been trying to subtly ask about you, thankfully he is the closest to you so that was great. JK was there so that was 2 in one. Jimin didn't seem to think anything of my questions but Jungkook was eyeing me suspiciously." He pauses and turns my chair to face him. "Then was RM, he is very observant, so I just let him catch me looking at you a few times. As well as pretending to be lost in thought while we were having a conversation." Damn, he is good.

"Have you ever thought of an acting career?" He laughs at this. "I'm dead serious."

"Anyways tomorrow we have to start straight away." He says. "The boys know that when I set my mind on something I act fast. I was thinking we play a game in the room for most of the day and then go for a run together later in the day after the sun calmed down. We should spend the evening separately. By Wednesday they have to be suspicious and by Saturday someone has to have confronted us, by Sunday we have to admit it. The boys will want to say that I'm your bias and others might try to press the button and try to guess it. Be ready for that. If I am your bias I want to apologize in advance, if I am not then use this to your advantage."

"Why did you accept it?" I ask and he looks at me confused. "You know, pretending that we are dating."

"You know us enough to answer that question yourself." He says and smiles.

"You are protecting the boys." I voice my best guess out loud.

"I am protecting the boys." He confirms, gives me a nod, and exits the studio, leaving me with more questions than answers.

How would pretending to date me protect the boys?

"What is going on?" Jimin seems pissed and I cannot understand why.

"What do you mean?" I frown, needing to play my part.

"You know very well what I mean, don't be evasive." He is acting like a parent who had just caught their child stealing from the cookie jar.

"Nothing is going on." I continue to warm up, one foot on the stool and pushing forward.

"Y/N, just tell me. Are you on a mission?" Jesus, why are you so accurate?

"What? What makes you think that?" I try to keep my voice leveled, not giving away that he is spot on.

"Well, this is just very odd." He sighs, resting his hands on his hips.

"And what exactly is odd?"

"You and V." He finishes.

"What about me and V?" I try to turn things around but he is not having any of it.

"Will you stop asking questions? I am the one with the questions here." He points his indicator at me and I finally stop warming up and look him in the eye.

"Listen we are just enjoying each other's company as I do with every roommate I had so far." It is true, this is barely any different from I acted with any of my roommates.

"No, you are acting weird, and V is acting weirder." Is he?

"Seriously nothing is going on," I reassure him, putting my right hand over his shoulder.

"No, I agree with him, something is definitely off," Nabi says and Hanna nods as well.

"Guys, seriously, stop pressing it. We are just having fun." I mean they are supposed to think otherwise, but I think it looks more realistic if I try to deny it.

"Having fun? You guys have been on each other's faces and it's only day 2." Well, technically it's day 3.

"You've been counting?" I say as I tie my shoes. "Anyways I have to go I promised him we would exercise together." I turn and head to the sliding doors of the kitchen.

"Again? You guys are almost like conjoined twins by now." Hanna says making me laugh out loud.

"Not even close otherwise he'd be here too. See you later." With that, I wink and throw a kiss and jog to the front lawn where V has been waiting for me.

"Hi. How is it going?" He asks, hands over his eyes protecting him from the sun.

"The trio is on my ass. And you? How are you surviving?" I ask as I hold his feet in place with my knees so he can start doing the crunches.

"Well, all the boys are on my ass too." He says between breaths. "It's way harder for me than for you."

I nod understanding his point. I mean neither of these people knows the real me, they may think I'm acting strange, but they will always be on the fence, they don't know the real me. V, however, is not in the same situation. They have been living together for a long time, they know each other too well, I am sure the guys are very suspicious no matter how good of an actor he is.

"Lay down," V says pulling my arm and pushing me to the ground.

"What? Why?" I'm already laying flat and he basically positions himself on top of me and starts doing push-ups."

"Just do as I say and smile." He says through gritted teeth.

"What the hell Taehyung?" I yell whisper.

"Keep smiling we are being watched." I look around and see nothing.

"By who?"

"I can't see, they are behind the bushes." They? More than one? Must be the trio then.

"I'm terribly uncomfortable," I admit while looking into his eyes and playing laughing. This is so cringing.

"It's just acting. Pretend I'm your bias." He winks and I puff.

"Hey, that might be you." He laughs as he gets up and pulls me with him, running towards the main entrance of the house.

"Why are we running?"

"One because it's fun. Two because it fits the act. Three because I want to see if whoever is watching us comes out of the bushes." Since when is running fun?

We keep running hand in hand for a good 2 minutes before we start slowing down. As far as I could tell no one followed us. We lay down next to each other out of breath.

"I think whoever it was, gave up." V is the first to speak.

"Must have been Jimin, Nabi, and Hanna. I told you they are very suspicious, Jimin especially." I breathe, turning on my side to face him.

"I know, he has not left me alone, and he doesn't believe my act for a second." He faces me as he speaks. "Does he know something about your bias?"

I think for a moment, did I ever let something slip? I go through all the conversations I remember we had, all the moments we were all together to see if by any chance I tried to steal a glance, or acted suspiciously. I really don't remember anything that could have made him suspect my bias or know that my bias was not V.

"No, I never did anything to give it aw..." Crap, I suddenly remember the note. Someone watched me that day, someone knows. Was that person Jimin? "Actually I just remembered a specific situation that if anyone saw it, they could have gotten the wrong idea."

I was not just about to say that I might have gotten caught enjoying my bias vocals on the other side of a wall like a weirdo.

"What was the situation?" V asks getting up, one eyebrow raised.

"I am not about to say that." No way I'll keep it for myself.

"Well he knows something I don't, that's for sure." He pauses and looks towards the house. "It can't be that he knows who your bias is, that's our mission to find out, he would have said something. We have spent enough hours brainstorming about it."

"You have?" I ask surprised. I mean I know it's their mission but I didn't think as far as them getting together and trying to figure it out. This thought makes my hands start to sweat and my stomach twist. "Out of curiosity, how did that brainstorming go?"

"Not well, we started by saying if we think we are your bias, we all said no without a doubt so that was no help." V laughs before continuing. "We then tried to say who we thought your bias was, but the truth was we have no idea. So we got you drunk, but that didn't work either. We honestly have no idea."

"That's good to know." I smile.

"We will eventually figure it out." V points out.

"I know."

***

I am currently laying alone on the hammock we recently got as a gift from the voice. The breeze is nice and refreshing and the stars are just amazing. The voting was a mess. We talked together before the life and we all liked each other, there was no reason to kick anyone out, so we decided on drawing sticks again. There were 2 short sticks and whoever drew them would be nominated by all of us. If we drew the small ones we would nominate someone random. I and Da-eun drew the short sticks. I am sad at the possibility of this ending so fast but at peace. In the end, I have proved to myself that, even if my heart is biased, my actions aren't and I can treat all of them equally. That makes me extremely happy.

After a while of laying there, enjoying the stars, I feel a presence approaching. I turn to see V coming toward me, holding a drink in each hand.

"Mind if I join you?" He asks while I get up and set to the side, making space for him to sit next to me. "Nervous?"

"About the vote?" I ask and he nods. "No, I'm okay with whatever happens."

"I'd be sad to see you leave," V says, a small smirk playing on his face.

"Don't know that I will be happy watching you all from afar." I smile back.

"What if we want to keep in touch?" I think about it momentarily, I'd love to keep in touch that is for sure but I am not ready for what comes with it.

"I'm not sure that is a good idea," I answer honestly.

"Why not?" He asks, as he reaches up to my hair and starts playing with a string of it.

"I think I have enough attention on my back as it is. I will be traveling the world and don't want all the crap that comes with being a female friend of BTS. Being an outspoken fan is enough for my plate." I look back up at the sky, my shoulders scrunched in defeat.

"We love all our fans equally, we just cannot be friends with all of them it's impossible. That doesn't mean that we don't want to."

"I know, they know it too. But it's more if it can't be me, then no one type of thinking." This is true, even for myself if I am being honest. I try to think how would it be to be in their shoes, but I can't. It must not be easy but it's the life they choose and they know how Idol fans are, they knew from the very beginning.

"So to get this straight, it's the backlash you are worried about?" V lets go of my hair and look into my eyes.

"Yes," I admit.

That's when he puts his hands on the back of my neck and pulls me close. I instinctively try to back away but he has a good grip. Our lips are inches away but he does not close the gap. He keeps looking into my eyes and then after what seemed like an eternity he lets go.

"What was that for?" I ask confused and kinda angry.

"I'm sorry." He says looking sincere. "We had an audience, and I'm still in mission mode."

That makes me laugh out loud. "You scared me for a minute there," I say and shove him a little. "Who was it?"

"The bias of you." Wait for what?

"What does that even mean? My bias you mean?" Why would he say it so weirdly?

"Who says you are the only one who has a bias here?" He asks and gets up. "Don't be so self-centered." And with that, he leaves.

I have never been so confused in my life. So someone is biased towards me? WTLF? How does that even make any sense?

I get up to follow V but before I can even take one step I hear him shouting "One out, 5 to go".

Well then, I think I'm going to be voted out before anything gets interesting.

I get woken up by a commotion outside. I can hear shouting although it is too far away to understand what is being discussed. I sit up on my bed and stretch looking around to see V was no longer in the bedroom, an odd sight to see as I usually get up first.

After getting out of bed I approach the slightly open window, carefully and as quietly as I can. I don't want them to know I am trying to overhear the conversation.

"You will ruin everything if you open your mouth now," V says to Jimin.

"Well you are ruining everything already, did you even think before you acted?" Jimin stops passing from side to side and grabs his hair in two fists. "Seriously, why would you do it?" I see someone approaching and see RM, obviously, he is about to stop whatever is going on. "Guys, please calm down, we all can hear you loud and clear from the inside. Emergency meeting in the studio in 5." He says sternly, quickly turning on his heels and heading back inside.

I decide to get back in and head for a shower, there is no way I will find out what is going on since the studio is soundproof.

I have not found the will to leave my bedroom today. It is just one of those days that my heart feels tight, and all that could make me better can't because of the lack of Internet access. The sun is clearly about to set, no one came by to check up on me either, but for some reason, that doesn't surprise me.

Yesterday V had to kiss me, there is no other option, we were playing would you rather, it all started very innocently and no one thought it would escalate this much. It was my fault this time around.

Jimin was intoxicated, and in one of his turns, asked me, would you rather kiss him (pointing at my bias) or him (pointing at V). I sent V an apologetic look as I got up from my seat and went straight to him, placing my lips on his.

It was supposed to be just a light kiss, that was always the intention, but for whatever reason he lifted both hands and placed underneath my hair, grabbing the sides of my neck, his thumbs grabbing against my jaw, and pulling me in. I was no longer in my right mind, I just let myself be guided by him. It was a long and deep kiss, sensual even, I dare to say. As the memories from the night before come crashing down I feel the redness creep all the way up my face and bury my head on the pillow. WTLF where are we thinking? We weren't, for sure. I think that's why no one came to see me.

Suddenly the sound of the button echoed through the house. I don't know for sure it is for me, but I can't help but think it has to be. I didn't care how I look, I ran downstairs and there were already quite a lot of people sitting on the sofa. I did not want to sit, so I just stayed back in a corner, watching from afar as the boys all gathered to guess my bias.

I knew for a fact that was what they were going to do, they have no other mission altogether. There could be no other reason for them to press that button. Tears streamed down my face without permission. I don't know how they found out, but I knew in my heart they were right. The determination in RM's face was clear, I know these boys way too well, they know my bias for sure and now, the rest of the world is about to find out.

"Good evening," the voice speaks and my heart shakes with each syllabus pronounced. "BTS, pressed the button?"

"Yes." RM is the one to reply.

"Well, we all know what this means," the voice continues "for our curiosity, do you really know or are you guessing because of the possibility of Y/N leaving soon?"

"First of all," Jimin speaks "I would personally like to apologize in the name of the group to Y/N, we know how much she wanted to keep the secret, and although we had our suspicions on who her Bias is, we were willing to guess it wrong."

None of them dared to look in my direction as Jimin spoke. The house was in absolute silence as the next words were dropped.

"However we quickly realized that other people were on the right path, and we felt that we needed to say a few things before we actually revealed our educated guess."

"In the few weeks we have been in this house, there was not one time either of us felt treated differently by Y/N." Jimin starts.

"We all had the feeling neither of us was her bias." Tae continues.

"We discussed the fact that she might be tricking us, that she might be an OT7." JK states.

"We honestly never met such a caring and dedicated fan, that had her feet on the ground and talked to us as normal people, instead of putting us on a pedestal and being scared to speak their mind," Jimin says, looking at me straight in the eye for the first time since that button was pressed.

"We tested our theory several times by leaving her traps and she passed flawlessly, every single time" Suga smiles as he says this, and although I still have not stopped crying, he made me smile too.

"However she did a small mistake, something we had thought only we had noticed but unfortunately turned out not to be the case," J-hope states as he throws a vicious look at Eun-do.

"So yes, we kind of guessed, but we also are sure of what we are about to say." RM firmly says before looking directly at me.

"Y/N," the voice calls. "Please head to the secret room and grab the envelope laying on the desk and bring it back."

I did as the voice commanded, looking straight at my feet as I exited the room. I wrote my bias name on that envelope the day I accepted to come here. Just in case the staff was wrong about who is my bias, I wrote it to only be shown if it was guessed correctly, and to be burned if no one did.

When I returned with the envelope in hand I was no longer crying. My tears had dried and I was a confident woman standing in front of that damn red button, ready to face my biggest fear, ready to look in my bias eye and see the reaction to his written name.

Ever since I found out they watched my channel, I wondered how would he feel to know it was him all along, would he actually care at all? It is probably just a game for them, but hey right now it's a game for all of us.

"BTS, please go ahead and reveal who you think it is Y/N's bias." The voice says and my eyes are straight on the person standing in the middle, right on the other side of the button, completely glued to RM's eyes, but his eyes were not what I was focusing on, they were blurry, unfocused. Although I was looking straight at him, my focus was on his right, slightly on the back it was my bias, and god damn if I am about to lose his reaction.

"The majority of us agree, that Y/N's bias is Jungkook." My heart pounds even harder in my chest as he says it out loud. JK, who was already looking at his feet is the only one who refuses to look up, WTF dude I am waiting for your reaction when I show the envelope. His actions were getting on my nerves so much that I forgot I was not meant to be looking straight at him. I shook my head and tried to ignore the annoying feeling creeping inside of me as I am about to start opening the envelope, however, the voice stops me before I even begin to move a finger.

"I have a couple of questions before Y/N answers that." The voice starts and RM nods.

"You said earlier that most of you agreed, who didn't?"The voice questioned.

"I didn't agree," JK speaks, looking at me for the first time since their guess. "I thought it was V." He says and I snort at that, making Tae release a laugh in the process.

"Very well, last question who was the first to suggest it was JK and when?"

"I did," RM said. "About 2 years ago."

That made my attention divert straight to him. I mean I knew he was smart, but I didn't know he was that smart.

"Y/N, is Jungkook your ultimate bias in BTS?" The voice asks.

I smile at the question, there was something liberating about the fact that I was about to let all this go, about how I can finally fan girl about my favorite as every other ARMY on earth, being that JK or OT7, or any one of the others for that matter.

I slowly open the envelope, not once getting my eyes off Jungkook, I didn't care anymore if he caught me looking at him, it didn't matter anymore. He was looking intensively at the envelope as my fingers started to pull the card inside, he didn't even read the name on the card before deviating his gaze away from the envelope.

He knew now for sure.

Every single person watching this unfold knew way before they got to read the name written on the card. It did hurt a little that he didn't bother to read his name, but I will get over it.

As the card came into view the TV that usually had the eye changed, showing several clips of me talking about him. I pulled the card completely out and showed everyone around the room.

Everyone could clearly see in bold letters written that name, the name I can finally say out loud, my BTS bias is Jeon Jungkook.

Previous - Next

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Okay so frankly I don't deserve any of this pain 💔💔

I seriously love the fact that we found out what happened with the corrupt cop guy, Griffin I think (it's late okay xD), and saw that at least he wasn't a COMPLETE psycho maniac out on the streets, but still didn't try to like, redeem him or anything. Now THAT would've been horrifying, and multiple people were drugged or almost burned alive in this episode.

Also, yes, I love Nancy <33. And Marjan :DD :') (good cry).

Anyway! Final thoughts over, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

Okay, I absolutely LOVED this episode. It focused on Owen, but like, not too much? Marjan got her moment(s) to shine, and by shine I don't only mean literally and figuratively mic drop all the time, but also just express her trauma. Or at least, the show showing us her trauma. Brilliant, I'm so glad she was the one who was the most disturbed and not Owen.

I KNEW SADIE WAS SUS!!! I mean, not as early as some of y'all, because I was like "Oh, come on guys, chill!! Stop being so distrustful all the time 🙄 xD"

BUT UH

HERE WE ARE XDD

I'd thought for a moment when the art gallery was burning down that maybe she set it on fire, especially when they (I believe it was Gabriel, now that I think about it - yeah, pretty sure it was) said she was painting with headphones on. I don't know, it was just a little sus xd. And I mean, not only is that a pitiful sounding excuse, but I'm SURE there are other ways to notice a fire 😭😭😭 xDD.

Aaanyway, TARLOS!!!

I loved them so much 😭😭😭😭😭

Why does it always have to be the episodes with all the soft moments that are angsty? UGH!! Anyway, they love each other so much 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 - speaking of that, I have a post that will probably end up on here tomorrow relating to their love and Sadie :33. Anyway!! It was so so sad but so so beautiful, like so so g o o d, so so ANGSTY!!!! I mean, I wouldn't say beautiful as in it's a masterpiece, but it's pretty good. Now I'm talking specifically about the Tarlos Sadie scene (which, by the way, I'm so glad didn't have a bunch of cuts in the middle - it had like, the one, if I remember correctly xdd), by the way, lol. But anyway, Carlos and Sadie's little insane smiles, the quiet questions from Carlos as he just stares at her. Like, I respect the effort, but unfortunately my dude, my child, her face does not hold the answers to why she is crazy. I doubt it ever really does (in most cases xdd).

Also, I can't talk/even think about this for long, but: TK losing his sobriety. It hurts so bad. . . Like, he didn't even do it on purpose! It wasn't of his own volition, and to the best of our knowledge, at that moment (or basically by the end of the episode time wise xdd) he didn't want to again. I took time to read a fic (already uploaded - y'all are legends) and it gave me the thought (not that I was super surprised or a thing) of "Since TK had no choice in the matter, he's not back to day one". And like, yeah! I'm not an addict, but I kind of get the disappointment in yourself, for doing that Thing you're not supposed to do again. And to be able to keep moving on through your lift after that, without constantly focusing on it. It's hard to truly believe you are the same as before, or it doesn't matter, but it's possible to believe it.

And it's not an exact comparison because with drugs there's something LITERALLY in your system, but I thought of this: If someone is addicted to self-harm but has been clean for a while, and then someone cuts them with a knife, say, in a a mugging or something, and then they don't get back into it and continue the harm themselves, then they did nothing. It sucks, but it happened :/.

Anyway, I've been trying my best to make this coherent, but I still have half of a journal entry to write, so I'm trying to go quickly, an I apologize if it's incoherent lol.

Overall: I absolutely L O V E D this episode. Tarlos wasn't a focus, though we know it will be next week (which even if we didn't know from the summary and current story arcs and teasers - in words I mean - from multiple people, we'd be able to tell from Ronen's VERY blatant posts lol), but they still got some absolutely amazing scenes in there, angsty and fluffy (more fluff, and side, moments than scenes, the rest of each scene as pretty much just angst lol), so I'm very much happy with that :)).

I do wish, however, that we got to see Carlos in a hospital bed, or just more of that whole aftermath in general, but he still may see it in the future! A flashback would be boppin :D. Or, maybe just an unrelated time in a hospital bed :D. I mean, I imagine we'll get it at SOME point (who knows, though, Maybe Rafa's playing 'lie so badly that they think you're lying but you're telling the truth' with us, lol XD. But, nonetheless, over all, I am VERY happy with the episodes and the Tarlos movements.

Anyway! Owens storyline was great, Marjan's storyline was great, Nancy's storyline was phenomenal (they're - they being the paramedics -, or specifically Nancy and Tommy in this case, she in particular, are just so good at showing emotions 😭😭😭 Love it, beautiful <333.

Mateo had some nice funny moments, Judd was there a little bit being his usual charming lovely self :)), and Paul was once again burdened with being the only one to have the brain cell of the entire time XDD Beautiful, lol

And even though we only saw her for a second? I love my beautiful talented skilled trained kind amazing lovely girl Grace <3333. :') So awesome, crying from happiness because I love her so much :DDDDD. Lol, but seriously, h e r <33.

Also, I love how dedicated Tommy was to Nancy and keeping her job safe 😭😭😭 ✋ stop I can't xdd

This is a very long overall, whOOPS, but yeah! This episode has basically everything; at least little moments for all the characters, and larger moments for characters (especially relating to certain plots, like Marjan for example) who don't always get those :))

But, yeah, it had angst, whump, fluff, mystery, feels (specifically family feels, like always, but even more in some parts), and humor :D. Such a great episode, and amazing plot(s) in general! So glad Catherine want evil :). That woulda sucked xdd.

But, yeah. I love them all :')) (happy crying - ignore the angsty parts for a minute lol) <33333.

So, yep!!! I definitely L O V E D this episode, and I'm excited for more. This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 12: Negative Space

I really enjoyed it, and I hope to enjoy the next one just as much, especially since I have to wait an extra week for it - and I know it will heavily feature TK and Carlos, so that's a bonus. I will hopefully see you in two weeks for my review of. . .

9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 3, Episode 13: Riddle of The Sphynx

See you then!!!

[andguesswhat]

The fool on the hill - Chapter 6

If you want to know what happened on the hill..

(on the Archive)

The hill

*

"Do you mind if I go for a little jog out there to keep me warm?" Tom asked Lea, pointing to a hill a little off the set. 

The production assistant shook her head. "No, you go ahead. I'll come get you when we get back to shooting. You've got thirty minutes, tops."

"Thanks!" 

Tom smiled. He couldn't wait to get moving, it was cold as hell and the wind was blowing mercilessly through the abandoned mine they were shooting in.   

Sophia didn't seem to mind being blanketed in layers of down jackets and getting a hot mug of coffee in her hand; but him, he hated standing in the cold doing nothing, he had to move. 

So he put on his headphones to listen to the music Nathalie had given him and started jogging. 

Up the hill ...then back down again. 

It was a hard to get purchase with the gravel and he definitely didn't have the right shoes on, but Tom didn't mind, he was happy to run. The hill was steeper than he had expected, but he enjoyed the burn it gave him, a welcome change from the chilly set.

The music was good and he lost himself in it, just running around the hill. Up, then down.

It didn't take long for his mind to wander to Owen and he paused and took some deep breaths, trying to stop the thoughts, but he wasn't surprised that they quickly came back.

Owen had been in his mind for weeks now. 

He had been so happy to work with him. He was smart, compassionate, and funny, and Tom loved his curiosity and commitment.... All the little ideas they came up with during the shoot were just so much fun. On top of all that, the connection they had was a gift that Tom couldn't take for granted. They could talk about anything. And that meant anything, really. And they did.

And he loved the way Owen smiled at him, winked at him, and flirted with him. Ever since that day they'd played tennis, Tom had felt that the flirting was becoming highly.... sexual. At least for him. And no wonder - hearing Owen grunt on the court and seeing him naked in the shower... the images came to his mind all by themselves. 

Because Tom thought that Owen had a really nice body. 

And that he wouldn't mind touching it. 

And licking it. 

Every part of it, actually. 

Especially that prominent line around his hip. 

Yeah, he would like that. 

In his imagination, he had licked it more than once, and ended up licking something else. In his imagination, of course.

He wasn't sure why he hadn't made the first move yet. 

Maybe because he thought Owen would. 

Maybe that made him a little insecure.   

Or maybe they just hadn't found the right moment yet. 

They were busy filming and hadn't had any scenes together in the last few days. 

Tom missed Owen. Just being around him. Brainstorming. Laughing. Flirting. 

Suddenly, Tom felt a hand on his shoulder. 

He thought it was Lea, but he was more than surprised to see it was - 

"Owen!" 

His face instantly lit up, his heart began to pound and his whole body was flooded with a sudden feeling of warmth.

Oh God, how he loved seeing him. 

"What are you doing here?" he fumbled to take the earbuds out and looked at his.. friend.

Owen shrugged and smiled cheekily. "I thought I'd check out the set."

Tom just smiled back. 

He couldn’t say anything, but just smiled happily at Owen. 

He knew he should say something to keep things from getting weird, but he didn't know what. 

There were too many questions in his head. After all, why was Owen really here? It was a boring set, it was cold.... 

"God, it's fucking cold here," Owen interrupted his thoughts as he rubbed his hands together. "Let's jog some more, shall we?"

Tom was still smiling, still unable to speak properly. "Yeah..." He tried to get that probably stupid smile off his face, but it was hopeless. "Yeah... Sure!" Well, at least he could manage that.

So they jogged down the hill. 

Side by side. 

Both smiling. 

And Tom felt like a silly teenager, giddy to just be around the person he had a crush on.

When they got back to the bottom of the hill, Owen turned to Tom and said, "Okay, that didn't work so well for me. I'm still cold. How about a little sprint challenge?" He slapped Tom on the chest, smiled challengingly at him "Show me what you can do!" and just sprinted off, up the hill, without any warning. Or without waiting. 

Tom was in no position to react that quickly. But after losing at tennis, Tom really felt the need to defend his honor, so he sprinted after Owen, giving it his all.

But why the hell was Owen so fast? 

If he wasn't warm after that sprint, he didn't know how he could do it. He was almost out of breath! 

He tried to get past Owen, but he didn't know how.

So he just grabbed Owen by the waist in the last few meters to push him out of the way, but the hill was steep, the gravel too slippery, and the sole of his shoe too smooth, so he slipped, fell, and dragged Owen down with him. 

Hhn!

And now Owen was buried under him.

They were both panting heavily.

Their bodies pressed against each other.

And Tom had to admit, that wasn't bad at all. He wished he could stay in this moment forever.

"Your start wasn't really fair, was it?" Tom gasped in mock seriousness and braced himself with his hands. 

Owen turned, still lying under Tom, and smiled at him. "Yes, it was. With your model legs, you could have easily caught me."

Model legs? Tom once again didn't know what to say. 

So he continued to gasp. 

And just looked at Owen. 

How Owen looked at him. Attentively. 

Smiled at him. Tenderly. 

His mouth slightly open. 

He could hear him breathing. 

Felt his chest moving up and down.... 

He couldn't believe how beautiful Owen was.

Tom bit his lower lip.

He felt himself getting a hard-on, lying on top of Owen like this. 

But he didn't want to get up at any cost, this was just too good, so he tried to move his hip, tried to get his leg - 

When suddenly he felt Owen's hard-on too. 

God.

Time stood still. 

Just them looking at each other, still panting.... 

And Tom knew this was the moment. 

This was it. 

So he rubbed their hard-ons together lightly.

God, yes.

And it felt even better the second time, when he heard a small moan coming out of Owen's mouth. 

But that was nothing compared to how it felt when Owen's hand slid down to his ass, kneading and squeezing it before going down between his ass a little to grab his leg and pull it up slightly. 

Tom tried to stifle a moan. 

He couldn't tell how much it turned him on. Being grabbed like that while their hard-ons were still pressed against each other. 

As much as he had loved women in his life, Tom was sure, he could only feel something like this with the same sex. 

The same energy...

The same power...

Just being on the same level.

Owen slid his hand into Tom's hair and slowly, very slowly pulled him down... so they could savor this moment of absolute tension.... before their lips would finally meet....

"Tooom!" Tom heard his name being called.

No.

"Tooom!" Lea was calling him.

No!

Tom closed his eyes for a moment.

He felt Owen's hand slip from his neck.

No!

It wasn't real.

This couldn't be true.

He sighed. And looked at Owen.

Who looked at him compassionately.

No! He wanted to kiss Owen, he needed to kiss him, feel his lips...

Again he sighed. And surrendered.

One last time he rubbed against Owen's hard-on, straightened with a flourish, and let out a frustrated growl before shouting down the hill.

"I'm coming!"

Owen chuckled beneath him. "Are you?"

"Not funny." Tom held out his hand for Owen to stand up.

But Owen hesitated for a moment.

"I feel like I’m always looking up to you," he said, smiling up at Tom. "I like it. It's appropriate."

Tom's whole body softened like pudding. And he wished it wasn't.

Because yes, it was just a joke, just a reference, of course....

But still...

And once again, he had absolutely run out of words, and he really needed to change that. Even when he somehow liked the silence when Owen was here.

Together they walked down the hill. And despite his frustration with this situation, Tom was genuinely happy. He couldn't remember when he had felt more comfortable with another person by his side than with Owen. Just walking down a hill.

And even though Tom couldn't quite grasp what had just happened, he knew he would never forget it.

Owen grinned at him. "By the way, I like your hair flip. Kind of sexy. I wish I could do that too."

Tom rolled his eyes, feeling that Owen was really doing this on purpose. And yes, he was embarrassed, but what annoyed him more was that once again he didn't know how to respond.

But before he could think of anything, they were at the bottom of the hill, standing right in front of Lea.

"Are you all right?"

Tom nodded. "I just ... slipped."

Lea looked at him sternly. "Don't do that again, or I won't be able to let you off the leash next time. I don't want Kate yelling at me because you splashed your ankle or something. Okay, let's go then." She signaled him to follow her.

And as soon as Lea turned to leave, Tom turned to Owen, gave him a quick but soft lick just below his earlobe, and whispered, "I think you're sexy as hell, too."

The look Owen gave him was priceless.

Tom grinned triumphantly.

There. Well, who was speechless now?

*

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[omegangrins]

Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence

Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:

It's pretty simple:

Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.

Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.

Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.

1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.

2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?

3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?

4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.

5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.

6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....

7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.

8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?

9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.

11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.

12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?

And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.

13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.

14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.

15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT

16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.

17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.

18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.

That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.

Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?

I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.

Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.

42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.

The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!

Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.

Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.

Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!

Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.

Which leads me to the why.

When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.

You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.

Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.

So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.

Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.

That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.

That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.

There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"

I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.

Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)

And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.

Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.

Secondly, full fucking disclosure.

"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."

Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!

These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.

Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.

But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".

I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.

"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"

This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.

They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.

Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.

"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"

Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...

But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...

Well then you don't know much about responsibility.

I'll let the man himself tell you about it.

"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.

“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.

“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”

Credit to @thirteenthdoc

“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?

[mummified-game-review]

2064 Read Only Memories: A Review

If you haven't played this game, then are there other point and click, cyberpunk kidnapping, mystery games that came in the Racial justice bundle that you think I should check out? Let me know all about them in the comments.the garden center of my closest hardware store and I’m trying to decide if the start up cost of 15 bucks in in my budget.

Welcome back to another video game review here on Mummified Games. Today were going to be taking a look at the modern Point and Click Mystery game 2064: Read Only Memories. By Midboss.

This game has a lot of charm to it. I Love how this game presents itself. The Music, art, story, and voice work, is all great and do a really great job of pulling me in. I did not want to stop playing. This was the first time where I was like okay maybe i play for 2 hours. And then write the review. But sadly there was no way I could do that if I wanted to make my deadline.

So the game is a future cyberpunk scene where Humans have found a way to cybernetically and biologically augment their bodies. Sort of just like every other Cyberpunk cenario. Just par for the course at this point.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

But what's great about this game is that it's not overly burdened with the constant narrative of life sucks and there's inequality and class disparity.

It's not dystopian cyberpunk, it's more optimistic. People seem to really be jammin with the future that they find themselves in. For the most part.

So it's your standard affair people are making so many augmentations to themselves in so many different ways. That there is a rebel group that is coming up that wants to see humanity return to who they were.

Not like a full blown god's perfect image, it's not a religious thing. But still embracing tradition and what makes humans human.

I don't know if we have the science to make Snake people then I'm all for it.

Ooo la la.

There are Robots that this big company is making that are designed to Walk like the humans, talk like the humans. But it's all just fancy code. And then the game tells you about one scientist that is working on transcending that limitation of just fancy code. And make something new.

Story intro out of the way, The scene opens with your less than standout apartment and you learn that you are a journalist, sort of.

And after you go through a nothing of a tutorial. As in like it's almost not even there cause it's so basic. You write a report and then go to bed.

INCITING ACTION

In the middle of the night a little blue robot hacks your door. And breaks into your apartment. Interfaces with your computer, cleans your apartment and also tries to clean the old computer, bricking it in the process.

You wake up and they tell you that they have selected you out of all known contacts of their master to help them track their master down. He was Captured last night and you need to join the robot to track down their master.

The robot's name is Turing, probably named after the real person Alan Turing the Computer Scientist.

A note about the dialogue and interactions with Turing. ALL THEIR LINES ARE VOICED! This game gives you so much during the process. There is a lot of reading to be doing in this game and luckily it's not all put on you.

I don't want you to think that I don't like Reading. Or that I think reading is hard. But if I'm meant to put multiple hours into a game. Doing nothing but reading for the entirety of it can get tiring

So I'm glad that so much is fully voiced. Gives you the chance to look down and tweet your love of this game for a second.

And that if there is a name or something that comes up you instantly know how it's meant to be pronounced. Instead of having to wait till you say it outloud in a video game review and suddenly everyone thinks “wait Tony, you say its like that? Wow okay”

Look, I have yet to hear anyone talk about Itch in casual conversation so I have no idea if you need to add the Dot I O to the end of it or if I sound like a Boomer who says out loud Dot Com at the end of every website name. “Yeah i just look it up on Google Dot Com”

I'm trying here folks I really am.

So after Turing tells you about what they need you join them on their mission to track down their creator and figure out what's at the bottom of this whole thing.

A note about the profile creation scene, it's quite funny and I thought it was super cool how they include multiple ways of character settings.

There's nothing visual that you can do to change your character so there's that. But Turing asks you for your name, you just type it out and I was excited for maybe a robot voice that was going to try to pronounce Mummified but it didn't go well.

Asks you for your pronouns, Yes! I love it. I would expect nothing less from a developer like Midboss. The people who host the Steam Summer of Pride Sale for the last couple of years Highlighing Queer games.

But the fact that they don't just limit to just He/Her/They but also Zir, and another one that slips my mind. And also an option to input your own preferred pronouns. SO COOL!

And I was ready to maybe answer one more silly question. That's where I was thinking the game would take things, assuming based on its sense of humor and the jokes that would come up in this game.

But no it was a real question about dietary needs and restrictions, to be kept in mind when out and about and talking about food. Holy crap that's so cool.

So the game gives you options like Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vegan, Halal, Gluten Free Dairy fr

What a super cool thing to include in your game. This just adds to the inclusion that is offered to players of all different ways of life.

So I just hunted down the list of food options in the video recording I took of this game and I'm reminded of just how funny this game is.

There are great jokes in this. There are subtle allegories to our own real world things in this game.

Turing says they found a better door that you could use to replace the current door you have due to its sub standard encryption features to prevent people from hacking though. And they recommend a particular model of door and mention it has over 300 reviews on Congo.

Wait... Congo. HA! Okay that got me. Cause you know Congo the river. And the Amazon river. I thought it was funny.

Also there is a joke about the Creator having a list of different things on the TV that they were watching like Ted’s Tech Tips. That one got me, because it might not be a thing but I'd like to think it's a nod to Linus Tech Tips.

This game is filled with great cute jokes. There are a couple of options that the game gives you when you wake up to see a strange robot in your room, some of the reactions are more fearful. And while reading them as an option I thought to myself WHY?

This little friend is Cute as hell. There's no way I would be scared of them. Their cute faces and little arms. I love them so much.

So the story is sound and the writing in it is so well done. The voice acting is great as well. Turing sounds innocent and has a cute childish nature to them, but they’re not dumb to say the least, they’re still the most advanced AI program in the world.

The gameplay is also stellar. Most of the interactions with things in this world are done with 4 different options.

Look: The game will give you a description of what the item, thing, person, whatever is.

Talk: If it's a person you can talk to them. Or sometimes things have voice commands.

Take/Touch, you might be able to pick something up or turn it on. Computers would take you to another window and you could do other things inside it.

Use time on: At the start of the game you're given an ID card and you pick up a pair of headphones in your apartment. The id could be used to get you places or scan for whatever might come up. Or you can connect your headphones to random things to hear stuff. What's funny is that you can use your headphones on almost anything and you can get some description of what you hear.

Real basic stuff. Like it's described. It's a Point And CLick Mystery Game. A lot of the game is being given a scene and you can talk to people in it, or interact with the things on the static screen.

Everything in this game flows so well together. Nothing takes you out of the experience. Its a story that takes you in and doesn't let go.

I think this is a game that I can fully recommend to people no matter what. If you have it. If you were curious about it. If you’ve never heard of it. Any range of feeling and knowledge of this game I highly recommend you go check it out.

If you have this game tell me your thoughts on it. Do you think Jessi was a jerk or if she is justified in her standoff-ness in her attitude?

If you haven't played this game, then are there other point and click, cyberpunk kidnaping, mystery games that came in the Racial justice bundle that you think I should check out? Let me know all about them in the comments.

In the meantime. Ah gee folks i really am thinking hard about that jade Plant. I'd love to get one. But my cable bill is coming and I know I need to take care of that first. Oh well. Maybe next month.

You all do the Youtube Dance, Like, Sub, Bell, Comment, and share this video with someone you know.

And as always hackers, Keep Digging, and we’ll make it out sometime.

See you in the next one.