#PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

[skullywullypully]

Miguel: I am a monster, you know. Y/n: He told you that? Miguel: Look at me... Y/N: Give me your hand. Miguel: Why? Y/N: Just let me see it. Y/N: Hmmm. A long life line... Y/N: Oh! And this one means you're shy! Y/N: Hmmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Y/N: Well, that's funny... Miguel: What? Y/N:I don't see any... Miguel: Any what? Y/N: Monster Lines! Y/N: Not a single one :)

[skullywullypully]

@dejlige-dage

“Well Mr. Columbo—”

“Actually, it’s Lieutenant Columbo.”

“You’re Starfleet?”

“Star who now?”

(thanks for the caption @brookbee!)

[ventapalusa]

Not to be a boomer

But teenagers these days are SO fucking disrespectful and rude what the hell.

[pxrifiedmxniac]

Hello? Hello hello?Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you, I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I’m here to tell you there’s nothing to worry about, Uh, you’ll do fine. So, let’s just focus on getting you through your first week, okay?Uh, let’s see, first there’s an introductory greeting from the company, that I’m supposed to read. Uh, it’s kind of a legal thing, you know.Um, “Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.” Blah blah blah.Now that might sound bad, I know. But, there’s really nothing to worry about.Uh, the animatronic characters here, do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they’re left in some kind of free roaming mode at night, uh, something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long? Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too, but then there was The Bite of ’87. Yeah. I-It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?Uh, now concerning your safety. The only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won’t recognize you as a person. They’ll pr-They’ll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now, since that’s against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, they’ll probably try to…forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn’t be so bad, if the suits themselves weren’t filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices. Especially around the facial area. So you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort, and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask. Heh. Yeah, they don’t tell you these things when you sign up.But hey, first day should be a breeze. I’ll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night.

" お客様、こちらはウェンディーズでございます。 "

(No I'm not gonna translate this one for ya. That'll ruin the surprise for y'all. Do it yourselves.)

[elderwisp]

i've never known a game company so willing to put it's clients under so much stress during update day like ea

[glass-needles-and-futurisms]

#matt's trains of thought be like

Classic Windows Screensaver

[cipher-club]

pfffffffffffffft 🤣

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so i didnt get a chance to watch the new ep last night so catching up now and lemme say how i just SCREAMED at mat's yoghurt task pfffffffffffffft

[sunny-reacts-to-stuff]

tma 50 "foundations"

Unreality, Institutional Violence, Poverty, Prisons, Classism, Surreal, Claustrophobia, Live Burial

LIVE BURIAL? DO WE HAVE OURSELVES OUR COFFIN PERSON?

JONAH WAS SCOTTISH?

i love when horror fiction makes like 489576 original characters and then also randomly grabs the man who designed the british museum

i dont fuck w this guy

im not following whatsoever

mmmmm i dont like this guy

im so lost

no one has ever been loster

was that the devil making work for idles hands or

yeah jon you need a therapist

who doesn't have a problem with the police

"well, you do know I’m the finest cat burglar in all of bromley." tim you are the coolest person in the institute i hope you know that

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

this man's hilarious

i love the idea that 2 weeks ago he was mad jon was spying on him and now he is letting his suspicions fade over the fact that he thinks he's getting some

poor jon lmao

"good work, boss" is taking me out

[housemaiden-of-change]

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT-

Sorry, sorry

I just got a funny mental image of 1000's of bells crushing the king, defeating him XD

Thats. So. Fucking. Funny.

Funfact abt me, i hate the king. I hate him so much in fact i go absolutely RABID when i see him 😁😁😁

[sage-reads-things]

Pfffffffffffffft I love Oga, man.

Also, this is the perfect time to talk about Sui and Oga's names! They're pretty heavy on the symbolism, which seems to be on par with the series' naming conventions. (I'm putting their names in Japanese name order for translation purposes.)

Sui's full name, "Aoi Sui" (蒼翠), means "green," or more specifically a dark blue-green like cyan or turquoise. His first name can also be read as sui (水), which is another term for mizu (water). So Sui's name is strongly evocative of lush green vegetation and aquatic imagery. Very fitting of his flowing fighting style and his cyan-themed color scheme.

(Unrelatedly, Sui is also a Chinese surname, which briefly made me think that Sui was supposed to be Chinese. It turns out that his name uses different characters from the surname, so I'm sure it's just a coincidence. But I still like to headcanon him as being Chinese/having Chinese ancestry.)

Oga's full name, "Inugami Oga" (犬神王牙) roughly means "dog spirit's royal fang" or just "dog king's tooth." Oga (王牙) means "king's tooth" (王 is a prefix for things of extreme respectability and 牙 means "tooth" or "fang.") An inugami is a type of dog spirit. Basically he's got a grandiose name with a lot of dog symbolism lmao.

[unluckyservice4]

I do not. You can go and do whatever you want. Like Servant said, I don't intend on interfering in your life that much.

...so. I might have a. Big favor to ask you.

How do you feel about babysitting?

Eh--!?

(Babysitting? I've never been amazing with kids, but...)

(I've watched my cousins a couple of times... but this is... a little different.)

U-uh... for how long? I have school... I don't know how good I'd be at taking care of a kid-- are you sure you can trust me?

[stripedwolf88]

These two posts showed up on my feed next to each other and the contrast is making me laugh. Don't know who else to share my non-significant-just-for-laughs gaylor thoughts with so here I am >.<

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

I am laughing and cringing at the same time. It is so conflicting! 🤣

That second one. I just can't. They're just so....blind.

[starwalker03]

A funny thing about Wally and Dick getting together in the future of WMLP is going to be Barry and Bruce’s reaction. Barry’s kid back from the dead but is now dating Deathstroke! Who’s also a friend’s kid back from the dead but not ideal inlaw material.

Bruce trying to give Wally the shovel talk and Wally just laughing at him “Dude Dick is way scarier then you. Don’t try.”

Dick Grayson former apprentice of Deathstroke I and Batman would not be down to talk about his feelings toward Wally to a former enemy/ally/coworker if Barry tries to. And if Barry tries to run Dick anywhere for privacy. he is going to get stabbed.

Family dinners are going to be hilarious.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT what a thought

man I never even considered that.

I think after Bruce fails at the shovel talk, Jason attempts it, and Wally just burst out laughing in his face. because like. how is wally the one who gets the shovel talk here? how is he the scary man who has to be warned 'if you hurt them I will kill you' when Dick is a literal mercenary? what's he gonna do?

which like. He's missing the point by that. which Jason would then explain 'dude I've had my brother back for x amount of time I don't wanna lose him because you break his heart' which would make Wally understand. He's not gonna break Dick's heart any time soon though, and they all probably figure that out reasonably quickly.

This being said, if Wally every tried anything against Dick, the batfam wouldn't need to interfere. Dick is perfectly capable of taking care of himself lmao.

Now, Barry attempting to give Dick the shovel talk. that makes much more sense, yes. you are correct about the fact that if Barry tried to isolate him for the purposes of this little chat he is likely to get stabbed.

Once Barry makes it clear he's not trying to arrest/otherwise attack him, though, and just wants to warn him about hurting Wally, that's when Dick just gets genuinely insulted lmao. like 'wow, I may be a mercenary but you really think I'd do something like that to Wally? fuck off'

Barry would probably give up quickly but still point out that not even Slade Wilson could hope to defeat Superman, if Clark had reason to want him taken out.

Which Dick understands, and respects Barry's willingness to play The Kryptonian card.

[creature-wizard]

That one ex-vangelical anon who talked about proselytizing to their friends reminded me of something that happened to me:

My church wasn't as extreme as some others, but when I was in high school my parents still encouraged me to help my atheist friends get "saved." Most of 'em, if I invited them to church, politely declined, and I understood -- but one time one of my good friends agreed to come with me. I was stoked! Maybe I was going to make a measurable difference in my friend's life!!

When the pastor asked who she was, she introduced herself as my lesbian lover (she was not, although we did find out I was bi a few years later :P) and he got this "I have no idea what to do with this information" look on his face and walked away. To this day, I'm pretty sure he thinks she was serious. I got the point and didn't evangelize again.

I don't recommend doing this to your evangelical friends as it could wind up being very dangerous for them, but in this specific scenario it was pretty funny imo.

Pfffffffffffffft, that is pretty funny. 🤣

[the-sky-queen]

How's Blake feeling about his slowly developing character developement?

Blake: "Pfffffffffffffft, character development? What's that? I have noooo idea what you're talking about. Hehe . . . Yep, no idea whatsoever."