#PLEASE give me a REAL STORY

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[nyssasorbit]

.

[zer0pm]

Imagine Luis surviving his knife wound and you patch him up.

“¡Joder! That hurts, you know?”

“Don’t have anesthesia, I told you. Stop moving.”

“Right, sorry- ¡Ay, Dios! Are you stitching with a knitting needle or something?”

You had to hide your laugh under a scoff, thankful he couldn’t see your amused smile at his attitude.

Luis was leaning against a crate when you finally caught up to him and Leon. The latter informed you of their encounter with Krauser, the Spaniard’s injuries confirmed by pain-filled groans. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you had Luis moved to one of the metal tables near the mine’s exit and stripped him of his shirt and jacket. He weakly made a teasing comment about you using his injury to get him out of his clothes, but you ceased his attempts at jest by gently making him lay on his stomach and dove right into the task of treating the gushing wound.

Thanks to your meticulous efforts and the medicinal herbs that Leon keeps around in his case, Luis was stable in no time. Able to breathe a little easier, he instructed Leon to fetch the key from his jacket pocket, saying that the agent will need it to gain access to his laboratory on the island where he and Ashley will then use the surgical equipment to remove the parasites from their bodies. After assuring him that the both of you will be fine and will catch up after Luis is completely patched up and ready to go, Leon made his swift exit, leaving the both of you alone. Which brings you to this point in time- you suturing him.

“Should consider yourself lucky. Any deeper and the blade would have struck your heart. Then… well, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“You call it “luck”, my friend, but I like to look at it as divine blessing.” Here we go, this you have to hear.

Curiously you ask, “Oh, yeah? And how do you figure that?”

“Es obvio, ¿no?” he gestures with a wave of one of his hands that he was using to rest his head on. “An angel is healing me.”

You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling, but there was no denying the warm flutter in your heart at his suave words. “Sweet talker.”

Luis doesn’t respond, but you can tell the man was grinning ear to ear from your remark. Aside from a few more Spanish curses and colorful complaints about the pain, the rest of the procedure went smoothly. Once the final stitch was made, you gently applied antibiotics over the freshly closed wound before covering it with a clean bandage. You notice the man shiver under your touch when you placed a hand upon his broad back to keep him steady.

“There. Now try to sit up. Slowly,” you sternly advised. “Don’t want you opening that up doing something insane.”

Luis mutters under his breath, “Supongo que no debería saltar sobre más gigantes…”

“What was that?”

“¡Nada!” He jolts upright into a seated position, wincing at the sudden move that surely aggravated his injury. You would have been incensed if you weren’t so concerned for his wellbeing. After a careful reassessment to ensure that the stitches didn’t tear under the cloth, you proceeded to secure them by rolling more bandages around his torso. Your hands glided against the firm muscles of his defined chest and back as you did this.

You stood within the cage of his legs as you worked and can feel the heavy weight of his eyes on you. There was a concentrated look you tried to maintain to quell the nervous energy beating inside at your close proximity to him, but it was a losing battle. Luis’ body was radiating with an inviting warmth and a musky spice that delightfully filled your senses. You want nothing more than to drown in him, but willed yourself to keep your distance, internally conceding to give him space to recover from his near-death experience.

“This is nice,” Luis comments, breaking the comfortable silence.

You meet his eyes with an inquisitive look. “You find receiving treatment from an almost fatal stab wound to be pleasant?”

“I was not stabbed, the knife was thrown. There is a difference.” the man corrected with snark grin and you would have returned the witty remark had he not continued with his line of thought aloud. “Just thinking that it’s been awhile since it was only the two of us. Leon is good company, mind you. Pero, uh, he lacks your appeal.”

A snort escapes you, secretly giddy from his praise. “Think you’re so charming, huh?”

Mild amusement glints his grey eyes. “Have I not been this entire time?”

You shrug playfully, “Your game could use a little work.”

He returns your jest with an exaggerated pout, “¡Ay, mi orgullo! Your words cut deeper than the knife that struck me.”

Your chest heaves in hearty laughter. You shouldn’t have found it hilarious, but Luis had this innate ability to make a grave situation something to poke fun about. It’s what makes him so endearing. While you try to catch your breath, you missed the look of pure adoration he wore as he took in the sight of your smiling face. His usual coy smirk gently curving into something softer. Eventually you finish patching him up and help him back into his shirt and jacket. The man grumbles that the fine leather was now ruined, earning you another heartfelt chuckle.

Once he was presentable, he beholds you , “Gracias. Guess, uh, I owe you one, ¿si?”

“Your life, I’d say.” you nod, tone cheeky and good-natured.

It was his turn to laugh under his breath. He takes your hand in his, relishing in the feeling of touching you again. Soft determination flashes in his gaze as he mentally mulled over your words with newfound hope.

“Take it then,” Luis says. “It’s yours.”

[feroluce]

So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and

a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and

b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!

I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!

It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.

Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).

These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.

I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕

[lestatthevamp]

[triglycercule]

it must get boring as hell doing continuous repetitive genos like dust does. he probably constantly questions how his human can keep on going and like not get bored (me too tho ngl because what type of person is out there that's trying to minmax every single undertale geno route interaction???) so i say he changes things up during his own process for a variety of reasons

sometimes when he's feeling REALLY apathetic he might just view everyone as stats and precoded scripts and lines and he just goes about the geno as if he was a player playing a video game (this is incredibly hypocritical because he's acting like the player but also this is dust sans we're talking about. pinnacle of hypocrisy. he'd deny any sort of human like actions because he's not the human and what he's doing is for the greater good). also its kinda fucked because it just means that there's been so many resets that he doesn't view his friends and family as simply people that he's taking the lives of but more as just npcs and numbers. but yk of course he moves on from that episode (and refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was acting very much so like the human. nope nope nope)

or maybe whenever he feels really really really shitty about himself he just lets the human kill him sometimes. he purposely interacts with other monsters before he kills them so he has to hear them beg for mercy. he just lets himself wallow in as much guilt and pain and misery as possible because its really really addicting to be sad and upset and feel bad. and dust is never like "hey i should stop doing this because its getting in the way of be killing the human" because he knows damn well it ISNT. he's still gonna be on that him vs. human grind no matter what even if he spends a few resets fucking around and being miserable and the humans always gonna reset anyways. ALWAYS

even if he's not at lvl 20 or something but still above the human in lv then maybe he'd kill them. but then that also means that there'd still be some monsters left because he nor the human maxed out their stats. so then that's just more suffering for dust (because i really think he'd like to make himself suffer because he feels so much guilt for what he did. his suffering is self inflicted and he knows that and still does it. good for him) because he has to walk around the underground knowing that there are some people hiding in corner or something watching him and scared that he's gonna kill them because thats what he did to everyone else. some nicer monsters might go up to him and try to talk to him but dust doesn't have the chill welcoming friendly vibe sans does anymore so it's just creepy and awkward. angrier monsters might try and yell or fight him and dust just sits there and takes it because theyr totally right. to them it might just look like he killed monsters just for shits and giggles one day and theres no way for him to explain the resets without people just forgetting it in the first place so theres not much he can do except accept the suffering. what in the mental masochism

[moongothic]

No appearently I'm still not fucking done

Like. No matter how I think about it, Crocodad with the timeline Oda has suggested makes no sense to me, so I genuinely can't bring myself to believe in the theory anymore (mainly because I don't want to get my hopes up tbh)

(Like if the timeline was Revolutionary -> Baby Happens -> Leaves and becomes a pirate -> Whitebeard beats his ass -> Dude becomes jaded and wants to destroy the government -> Alabasta This would make sense. I would 100% buy this timeline But the timeline is supposed to be Pirate -> Shichibukai -> Whitebeard beats his ass -> Somehow gets involved with the Revolutionaries -> Baby Happens -> Transitions while a Shichibukai -> Alabasta I just. This timeline does not make sense to me. But it's the only one we'd have??)

But at the same time I can not come up with a single other explanation to why the absolute fuck Crocodile is still a character with a presence in the story if it's not Crocodad

By which I mean, on an emotional level he has no connections or ties to any other characters that would explain why he's still in the story (compared to like, Enel, who also has no connections to anyone and thus is pretty much just gone). And like, to be fair, sure, he could be just there for fanservice and because he can be used to drive the plot forward in some ways.

But when you compare Crocodile to say Mihawk or Buggy or even ol' CP9 members, they all either have close emotional ties to other important characters (Zoro and Shanks to be specific), or they represent something (the manifestation of the Government and its corruption), meaning these characters reuniting/encountering others has emotional weight in the story

But Crocodile was just some asshole who Luffy beat up, he's not much different from like Moria in that sense and god knows we haven't seen Moria in ages (to the point I wouldn't be shocked if he died offscreen) (Oda please don't kill my beloved goth onion I need him back so bad)

So why the fuck is Crocodile still here, why is he still plot-relevant, who is he supposed to tie to on an emotional basis

Like the theory Crocodile could maybe be Xebec's son would make sense and explain a lot about Crocodile as a character, and it could tie him back into the story if Xebec is alive and is the one hiding the final Poneglyph (this theory is on thin ice mind you), but no matter how I think about it I can't imagine how that would push either his own character arc forward or anyone else's. The plot, sure, but it just feels like it stops there

Especially because althought Crocodile Clearly Has Some Issues, his issues don't seem to be from a bad father-son relationship, it's trust issues and the hatred of the Government, so meeting his maybe-father-Xebec-if-he-is-alive would probably do fuck all to move his character anywhere (and if it did, where??????? World Domination??????? We all know that won't work out tho????????)

(Also if Xebec was his father, then Crocodile's decision to ASSIST Whitebeard in saving Ace, the dickwad who would have betrayed his father, makes EVEN LESS SENSE)

(Sidenote, you could maybe imagine Crocodile somehow tieing into Pluton again but considdering how the Walls of Wano need to come down for Pluton to be released and that can only be done by Zunesha at the command of Momo, I can not imagine Crocodile making a beeline for Pluton right now 'cause he should not be able to get it even if he found out how to access it) (Also while on Pluton, you could argue Crocodile reuniting with Robin could have emotional weight but I'm not sure what that would achieve for either character (also Robin would never in a million years just hand over Pluton to Crocodile), same for Vivi (also IDK how those two would even meet again))

Not to mention I have no fucking idea how Crocodile's past with Iva-chan would even tie into any of that??? I mean sure he could just be trans for the sake of being trans and without it being like an important plotpoint beyond Iva-chan being able to blackmail him at Impel Down, but also??? Is that not a little unnececary considdering there would've been many other ways to convince Crocoboy to behave in Impel Down???

But you know what really would explain Crocodile's lingering presence in the story and would tie his character to someone else on an emotional level in a way that could push either his or someone else's character arc forward???

Fucking??? Crocodad???????

Like boom, you'd immidiately be able to tie his character to our beloved protagonist and the two seeing each other would have like more meaning than just "Luffy encountering the asshole who tried to kill him and now needs to fight again probably". And while I don't think Crocodad would do anything to move Luffy's character ahead (since he probably would not give a shit if he found out Crocodile was his dad, since Crocodile was a dickbag and Luffy doesn't care about blood connections), I think it would do a lot to Crocodile's character

Because like. I go back and I think about Marineford and Crocodile's outburst at Whitebeard. His emotional arc. If Crocodad was real, then right before the outburst Crocodile would've have realized that Luffy was his son and would be currently dealing with the implications of that. Then he'd have to watch The Son of a Binch Who Beat His Ass get stabbed, which would piss one off anyways. But then he needs to remember that Whitebeard's been stabbed by one of his own, while trying to save another one of his sons, and Crocodile might realize how that sight of Whitebeard might be like a cruel premonition for himself, as he goes off to try to protect his own son

And sure, Crocodile made it out of Marineford alive, but god knows, if we get like a Marineford 2 and shit starts going down, if this man is Luffy's actual father and is anywhere near the kid, this binch is dying. He is going to die protecting his son (and arguably, one-up Whitebeard), because as we all know, if you want to protect something ya gotta do it right and if you're not willing to make sacrifices you will never gain anything, even if it means losing your own life

That would absolutely give Crocodile's character an amazing character arc, going from an uncaring asshole who was only interested in whatever benefitted him to giving up his own life for the kid he never was there for (which would also arguably be more than what Garp or Dragon ever did, since one never did as much as lift a finger while the other was going to allow his grandchild to be murdered)

Also Crocodile being Luffy's dad would tie his past with Ivankov to his character really well and it'd be a much bigger point than just him being trans for the sake of being trans

Also him having ties to the Revolutionary Army would then also emotionally tie him to Dragon for some Dragon Lore etc and that could then also tie him into the Revolutionary Army-sideplot if we're lucky

Also. Remember how One Piece goes off often about "inherited will". You know what would be cute. Luffy inheriting his father's dream, his will (of becoming Pirate King).

Also other people have pointed this out but in Chapter 824 Luffy gets to see Dragon's face on the newspaper for the first time and comments how Dragon "doesn't look like him". And like. It could be just a funny little comment of no concequence. Some might even look at the comment to fuel their bizarre "Dragon is Xebec" theories (even though Garp is very explicit about Dragon being his son and the two do look alike actually, like Garp and Dragon have the same nose), but like I think about that comment, and then I think about Luffy making that "I don't know 'cause I'm not a Zoan" comment in fucking Punk Hazard when talking to Momo about using his fruit power. And like. LIKE. MAN. I DUNNO Y'ALL BUT LUFFY'S COMMENT ABOUT DRAGON NOT LOOKING LIKE HIM FEELS A LIL SUS (Also notice how Garp, Dragon and Luffy all have shit on the right side of their faces. Like Dragon has his massive tattoo but Luffy and Garp both have those scars under their eyes. And Crocodile just happens to have a matching scar.)

Also this is absolutely inconsequencial but. Like. Crocodile's favorite food is fucking. Crocodile meat and tomatoes. Fucking. MEAT. Just like Luffy. GOD.

I just. Crocodad would make so much sense on an emotional level for the story. It would make so much sense.

But I just. The timeline doesn't make sense at alllllll

[simplysparrow14]

Am I the only one miffed that they decided to cut away from THE BELLS HELLS GRIEVING EPISODE to the crown keepers????

Like wow, what a way to undercut the sadness and sacrifice of a prominent character who gave his life to get his friends to safety and finally have real character growth of the bells hells.... by cutting back to the side characters of the side characters to see what they've been doing.

[luc1ferian]

Hi I'm thinking about writing a h2g2 and gravity falls crossover fic. I saw your post awhile ago and I was wondering if you had any idea on how the two fords would interact.

Oooh this is a really good idea!

Hm, I haven't properly watched Gravity Falls in a while (I KNOW IM SORRY), but comparing their personalities from what i know they have a couple similarities and differences.

For first interactions I'm not entirely sure how or where, neither of them are naturally social but if someone were to start a conversation it would be Prefect, and once they realize they're both named Ford P. they'd hit off perfectly.

I think they'd love to go out for a small drink and talk about their outlooks on life, about space, their own traumas and relationships, about their research and studies with their respective books (Pines to the Journals, and Prefect to the Guide), and about their plans for future. This interaction could also be a lot funnier depending on the tone you wanted to take.

Ooooh they could also rant about their annoying family members (Zaphod and Stan)

They would also engage in an epic game of Dungeons & More Dungeons no doubt

[the-busy-ghost]

Me normally: Let people love what they love

Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE

[flame-cat]

listening to That One Interview with alex where he talks about how he saw so much potential in a sea grunks story that he held off from it when he got to make lost legends... and now having had the book of bill released... and the implication that bills story isnt quite over... and how well the book is selling and how popular it is...

[samarecharm]

If i start posting dc stuff on here, it means i lost the fight w myself. The demons won. Im sorry

[meimi-haneoka]

Every time I see the English translation of a certain Clear Card panel with Touyuki appearing on my TL I want to pull my hair because that line was mistranslated so, so badly and people are making speculations and going nuts about it in the tags and it's all based on something that doesn't exists because that's not what Touya says, not at all. Like, not even remotely. It's also so out of character for him to say something like that, I don't know how his fans don't realize something is off in that line.

One day I will compile those translation mistakes in one giant google sheet or something, I need to turn this into a mission because it's honestly so irritating to see how riddled with mistakes this localization is, sometimes to the point of messing with important parts of the plot. I don't see them releasing a decently translated edition in the near future, so it's all I can do to give back some respect to the story. Clamp are aware of the translation mistakes and how they change the perception of the story for the foreign readers, just as they are aware of the posts I've made about them over the years (they talked about this in a Space long time ago, and I still cherish that mention in my heart with pride). But there was basically nothing they could do at the time, if not suggesting the English readers to check the posts mentioning the translation differences. That's great and all, I'm glad I have their blessing but this is also not really how ideally one should read a story. My posts are long and filled with personal comments and maybe that would deter many people from checking out what a certain line actually says, so I need to find a quicker and easier way. Also, I started to do those only from chapter 40 onwards (and in the beginning I was way overzealous, I would need to revise) and this panel I'm mentioning above is part of the butchery they did in the first volumes, which weren't covered by my posts yet.

[beepsbees]

someone on twit requested i drew bearmon which reminded me of my digimon oc Koharu i had when i was a kid who was stuck in the digital world since kindergarten and was protected by a grizzlymon she rode around on

[watermel0ns-dumb-cringe]

ough

Thinking about Ted's Caving Journal again

Gotta love me some atmosphere setup & immersion, , , <33

[satansleftnutcheek]

Just had like the biggest brain realization about Astarion bear with me I think I'm onto something here. Spoilers ahead for those who don't know about his "condition" or haven't heard about his tragic backstory™

I think people generally overlook the bite scene in favor of focusing on how it reveals Astarion being a vampire, how it can benefit the player if you're trying to romance him, or find an easy way to get him out of your party. I would like to note that there’s nothing wrong with this response! I did the same in my play through because I already knew he was a vampire due to spoilers. I just saw the scene as Astarion looking for his equivalent of a sandwich when it happened.

But why does Astarion bite Tav of all people?

The obvious answer is because Tav's the protagonist. Any important character scenes will happen to or involve them because they're the player character. It's the nature of how RPG stories are told. However, Larian Studios has put a lot of thought into this game, so why not dig a bit deeper?

Assuming Tav has everyone in their camp when this scene is triggered, Lae'zel and Shadowheart are off the menu purely because if things go wrong they'd immediately kill Astarion. Not good! If things go wrong with Karlach he could possibly smooth talk his way out of it. After all, she's a very kind person who goes out of her way to help people. But she's also twice his size and could snap him like a twig, which is not a risk worth taking.

Wyll isn't nearly as much of a threat as the other three, if it came down to it, Astarion could probably take him in a fight. The main problem here is that Wyll happens to have a habit of killing monsters, which would make talking things out really difficult. Astarion's relied on skills like persuasion for the past 2 centuries so he'd probably want to have his best skills be viable options if things go awry. Halsin, much like Karlach, is twice his size and could kill him with ease. Hard pass on that! This leaves Gale as the last, and really only, viable option. I mean look at him, he's frail as hell, always having the lowest HP in the party, and his weapon is a stick. Worst thing that could happen to Astarion is a bonk on the head.

So then why Tav? Why are they the one Astarion bites?

Now Tavs come in a lot of varieties. The player could be doing a Dark Urge run, they could be playing as the embodiment of pure evil, the kindest soul that is second only to Jesus, or somewhere in between. However, the one thing that unites them all is their power. They're the leader of the party and the others (to varying degrees) respect them. Tav is the one that chooses where the party goes, who they help, who they kill, and even how they'll have the tadpoles removed. In a way, Tav controls the party.

Remind you of something that Astarion openly talks about wanting?

For two centuries Astarion hasn't had autonomy, respect, freedom, resources, or control. What he's learned from those centuries is that power always gets you what you want. If you want freedom you need the power to control others. So while biting Gale would be the easy answer, it doesn't have the perk that biting Tav does.

If Tav wakes up during his biting attempt, Astarion could smooth talk his way out of it. If things go okay and Astarion gets to keep his head, he'll have gained more of Tav's trust. This in turn would give Astarion greater power over them as they'd be easier to manipulate, which in turn gives him more control over the others. If he ends up killing Tav then that technically would open up a power vacuum in the party. Whoever fills it would have all the power and control that Tav has. I don't think any of the other characters would let that happen though. Astarion's the person who you don't want to be the leader because he's clearly performing this role for his own self-centered reasons. Also seeing as this scene generally happens early in the game, nobody likes him enough to just let him become the leader.

Now if Tav lets Astarion bite them things get more interesting. It's a possibility that never occurred to him, but he isn't going to turn it down. First of all, it establishes Tav as an easy food source. Astarion has a consenting snack that in the future, might let him bite again. If that happens then Astarion's food source becomes far more reliable and surviving becomes significantly easier. Tav's consent also reveals how much they trust Astarion. From his perspective Tav's shown too much of their hand. Astarion's simple plan to manipulate Tav for the sake of his security has become child's play at this point.

All this being said having Astarion choose to bite Tav over Gale reveals so much about his character. While Gale is the safest choice to make, Tav's position of leadership is what entices Astarion to bite them over Gale. After experiencing two hundred years of mental and physical abuse, Astarion values power so much he'd be willing to risk his ability to not become a mind flare, and his life, in order to gain it. All because this is what he learned from being Cazador's slave for 200 years.