#Perhaps I should have waited for the new season to come out to continue my reading as I had originally planned

[trillscienceofficer]

from Cinefantastique Vol 30 #9-10, November 1998

ROXANN DAWSON: The actress who plays fiery Klingon half-breed engineer Torres on coping with the mommy track.

By Anna L. Kaplan

The fiery B’Elanna Torres, played by Roxann Dawson, found herself in a serious, adult relationship with Tom Paris (Robert Duncan McNeill) during VOYAGER'S fourth season. Their earlier friendship was heading in this direction during the third season, but finally blossomed into something else this year. As an additional challenge for the actress, Dawson had to play increasingly steamy scenes with McNeill while going through her first pregnancy. The writers opted to hide the pregnancy, with the exception of a special two part episode called “The Killing Game.” For the most part, Dawson found herself under a newly invented engineering smock, or behind a console, or shot in closeup. “Mostly I get knocked out in the first 10 minutes of the episode, and recover somewhere near the ending after all the action sequences have been shot,” she said. “That’s how we’re working around it.”

Dawson spoke about these challenges in November of 1997, having finished more than half of the season, and not knowing what would happen later. She was seven months pregnant at the time. She said, ‘I'm feeling great. I’ve had a good pregnancy so far. It’s only recently that I’ve been slowed down a bit.” She added some wishful thinking, saying, “If I’m late, which I probably will be, it will almost coincide with our hiatus, which is just a grand coincidence, and that would be great. Hopefully, they could at least get my presence in the last few episodes, if only just a little bit. So if everything goes well I won’t miss any episodes.”

Dawson enthused, “I love the scripts they’ve been coming up with. I love our new cast addition. I think it’s adding a little spice to all of the characters as we deal with Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan). I’m just really impressed with the scripts. I think that they've been very strong this year and I like what they’re doing with my character.”

The episode “Day of Honor” brought Paris and B’Elanna together, while they were waiting to die, floating in space. It proved a difficult show to do. For one thing, the actors were shot against bluescrcen, visual effects to be added later. “I liked it a lot,” said Dawson. “It was all special effects. We also had to go in later on and loop every single line of that. Plus they needed to edit quite a bit because of the budget. It’s very expensive to do so many scenes in front of a bluescreen. I felt that it lost some of its bite because of these things. It’s tough enough doing emotionally revealing scenes, but to have the elements so working against you, I definitely felt that it was flawed.”

She continued, “There was more dialogue (originally). When I went in to loop it I had to rethink the way I was going to say things. Having to make those adjustments in post are never desirable, because they can never match what you may have done in actual production. They’re compromises that have to be made, especially when you’re working in a sci-fi series, but you hate it to have to happen on intimate moments. Perhaps for people who didn’t know what was missing, it wasn’t a big deal. But I sense it, and I know where I felt the beats should have been. I wasn’t completely satisfied with ‘Day of Honor.’”

In “Scientific Method” the romance progressed, but while the crew was under the control of alien experimenters. Tom and B’Elanna became passionate at some inappropriate times, leading to at least a little speculation about who was really in control. Noted Dawson, “When we were about to shoot it, I told Robbie that I felt that what we were doing was the real Tom and B'Elanna, but it’s sort of like after you've had a couple of drinks at a bar. The aliens supplied the liquor, and so it made [us] a little bit less sophisticated than we should have been. Basically everything was very real. We were just alien-tipsy, I guess. We talked a long time when we got those scenes, wondering, now is this really what we would do? Would we really risk this sort of thing when we have our own cabins? I thought, maybe if you had just a little bit of this alien liquor, that it would make you take that step you just normally wouldn’t. That probably fueled the fire, but the fire was definitely there.”

Some of the scenes advancing the Paris/Torres relationship were added on. "We’re all confused right now," said Dawson. “For example, we’re shooting additional scenes and reshoots for four episodes, so it’s hard to keep track of what’s going into which episode when they add these extra scenes. We’ve been coming up short on a lot of scripts recently, and I don’t know why. It’s causing us to have to take a day and actually add more material to a lot of the shows.

“What I have been missing in their relationship is what really makes them tick as people together. We’ve seen the passion, and we’ve had some superficial discussions, and we understand the attraction. I haven’t seen a lot of the real close friendship. Maybe in the first season in the episode ‘Faces’ where there was some discussion of our past and our parents. We just shot a really nice scene where you just see these two friends dealing with some very difficult situations. I love that they’re starting to explore that now in the writing.”

“Random Thoughts” focused on a telepathic society where violent thoughts are considered crimes. Torres is convicted of violent thought and sentenced to have her memory engrams purged. “One of the things I love about B’Elanna is that she is flawed,” said Dawson. “She’s got this temper. As much as she has become a better person since the beginning of the series, she still screws up, not that this is a complete screw up. It's very human to think negative things, but she definitely goes overboard in her images. It’s interesting, this whole discussion of thought police and what we are allowed to think and not think, and the kind of trouble that you could get in. It’s actually kind of contemporary.”

What exactly does B'Elanna think about to get into trouble? Dawson recalled, “It’s actually pretty minor. It’s innocuous. It’s somebody bumping into me at a market place, but because I have a temper my first instinct is to lash out until I realize that’s an irrational thought. But the thought is out there already. Because these people are very sensitive to these thoughts, that becomes a crime. It’s very tricky. I think it brings up a lot of interesting issues.”

Like many of the actors, Dawson believes that VOYAGER has often resolved conflict too quickly. She was happy to bring something back of the Maquis, when Chakotay (Robert Beltran) gets a message from the Alpha Quadrant in “Hunters.” Noted Dawson, “There was a really interesting scene with Robert Beltran when he reveals information to me about the Maquis. I have to spend the rest of the show trying to deal with this information. I love that they’re bringing that up again. It’s one of the things that I feel was dropped too early. I would love them to deal with it some more. There is some encrypted Starfieet message that still hasn't been decoded by the end of the episode. I would love it if they made a choice that Starfieet comes down hard in saying that, ‘Maybe all the Maquis should be thrown in the brig until we can get you home.’ I think it would be interesting to see how Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) deals with that, and what kind of upset it might cause among the crew. It’s an opportunity I'd hate for them to miss.”

In fact, the message was decoded with some complications in the season’s last show. “Hope and Fear.” Beltran wished the writers had used Dawson's idea, saying “That would have been very interesting, but it doesn’t say that.” Starfleet tells them they cannot help the Voyager.

On the show’s lack of conflict, Dawson noted, “I think they wanted us all to get along pretty quickly. I think the great thing about this year is that some of the friction is coming back. I think that we need that. I think that that’s perfectly human, it’s right, and it's dramatic, and it makes the show much more interesting. It’s so much more interesting for us to fight, and to figure out how to get along, rather than just getting along.”

Dawson talked about her work, saying, “I know that they’re really starting to phase me down quite a bit. I’m spending a lot more time in sickbay. We’re in a series of episodes where we’re dealing with an alien race that is in a five-episode arc. They are called ‘Hunters’ in that they like to go after their prey and torture them to death. This is what their entire existence is about.”

Dawson got into more of the action during both parts of “The Killing Game” in which the hunting Hirogen used the holodecks on Voyager to experience World War II. Dawson plays Bridgette, a member of the French resistance who has gotten pregnant by one of the Nazis and uses that to her advantage. “We’re being experimented on,” she said. “They get some information from our data banks, and decide to try to create a war among us by re-creating World War II. They allow me to be pregnant in that episode, which is a lot of fun, not to have to cover it up.”

Dawson commented on the current TREK women, saying with a laugh, “I think that we’ve changed a lot, and I think it’s terrific. I think we've done it in a really special way. I think that these characters that we have are very unique. If you go from Dax (Terry Farrell) to Kira (Nana Visitor) to B'Elanna to Kate's character, to Jeri’s character, I think that they haven’t just done this stereotypical woman-with-balls kind of thing. They’ve really made them individuals, and also still women, which is great. I think that it’s showing a certain amount of maturity on the part of the writers and the audience in terms of accepting us.”

In addition to acting, Dawson also writes, and at the time of this interview she was anxiously awaiting the publication of her first novel. She explained, “I’m working on a trilogy of sci-fi novels that Simon and Schuster commissioned me to do with another writer. We’ve completed the first book. We are waiting for its release. We're done with it. I’m very proud of it. And we've outlined the second book. The trilogy is 'The Tenebrea Trilogy’ and the first book is ‘Entering Tenebrea.’”

She continued, “I wrote a play which was produced at the University of Minnesota, and also workshopped at Circle Repertory. It was my first full-length play. I’ve had a couple of one acts produced as well. But I’ve never written in novel form, so this was really great. The writer that I’m working with, Daniel Graham, is wonderful. He’s got a scientific mind and knowledge. We work very well together. We sort of balance each other out. We completed [the book] probably five months ago, and it’s literally been sitting here waiting for them to bring it out. We’re just waiting for it to go.”

Dawson was also awaiting the arrival of her daughter. Emma Rose Dawson was born early, instead of late, on January 16, 1998, just after Dawson shot “Vis A Vis” and one scene of “The Omega Directive.” She missed only a few episodes, but returned well in time for the finale, as she had hoped. □

[apinchofm]

I want to see Edwina and Fran interact! They do seem like they would get along really well! Maybe they hung out before Edwina left to get married? Before Kate's honeymoon?

Wait, yess!! My perfectionist girlies!!

Aubrey Hall was stifling for Francesca. To go from the quiet of Kildare and Bath and now she was back with her rambunctious, loving family.

She really liked her new in-laws. Kate was warm and fun and deeply in love with her brother. They would be departing for their honeymoon soon and hopefully the excitement would die down.

Unfortunately, her family were extremely animated and she ducked into the library whilst a wild game of Pall Mall took place.

She was mildly surprised to see Edwina Sharma in the library, sitting in a corner, her head in a book. The younger Sharma sister was so polite, so quiet and distant.

"It is nice to get some quiet, is it not?" Francesca said.

Edwina looked up and blinked twice, shutting her book and smiled warmly at her.

"Indeed." Edwina agreed.

Francesca sat down on the bench next to her. "I can only imagine how awkward this must be for you." She continued bluntly, "I think you are brave. It takes courage, to do as you did. To run from unhappiness."

She had not noticed Edwina's expression shift to one that she would describe as amused confusion and worried about what she had said.

"I do apologise-"

"No. No. Do not apologise. It is nice that someone will speak plainly with me." Edwina quickly said, smiling tightly.

Francesca smiled, relieved, "I find it easier to do so."

"You may not enjoy the season, then." Edwina said quietly but Francesca heard her.

"Do you still think of marriage?" Francesca asked curiously.

Edwina looks thoughtful, "I do still want to marry."

"Of course. But I mean to ask, what do you believe one should look for?" Francesca clarified. She felt someone who had been through what she had would have a clearer idea compared to Eloise who hated the idea of a man approaching her.

"Marriage is a gamble, I find. I think that finding someone who respects you is far better. When they respect you, they see you as a person. Not an object to be won nor a jewel to possess." Edwina mused, "I should like my respect returned but I cannot see that happening in London. A shame, for I loved the city." She murmured.

Francesca was confused because she understood that Edwina would be staying in London.

"I agree with that. I do not think my mama does. Love is tricky. People are even trickier, I feel." Francesca said, "I prefer the pianoforte. Or cats."

Edwina smiled but it was sweet, not condescending, "Cats are far more preferable to most people." They shared a smile.

"Perhaps we may hide in ballrooms together?" Francesca suggested and Edwina opened her mouth to reply then stopped, "Have I spoken out of turn again?"

Edwina shook her head, "Not at all, Francesca. No, it is just that... If you may keep this to yourself?" Francesca nodded, "I will not be in London,

"But why not?" Francesca wondered.

Edwina smiled sadly, "An offer has come up. One I do not want to refuse and I think it shall be a fresh start for me. To leave all of the pain and gossip behind."

Edwina leaned over, taking her hand, "I do believe you will have a good season, Francesca. I wish you the very best of luck. You shall need it."

[louvaem]

flickers of light — one ; kindling (reuploaded)

☆ aemond targaryen x gn!reader, house targaryen x gn!reader (platonic)

☆ summary: when the Light of the Realm – beloved in all of Westeros – begins to succumb to an illness that even the most skilled and wizened Maesters cannot treat, the royal inhabitants of the Red Keep must hold onto the flickers of light through memories of moments, before the Stranger snuffs them out. — 5k words

☆ warnings/tags: angst, terminal illness, mutual pining, friends to sort-of-lovers to strangers, dance of the dragons never happened and we'll see why, set 10 years after the dance should have happened, this is a fix-it fic basically, rhaenicent is very important to me, no use of y/n and no descriptions of reader, massive time jump, everyone gets along. enjoy!

News of the Light of the Realm's terminal state arrives at the Red Keep at the hour of the owl, on the 15th day of the twelfth moon of the year 139 AC, as a storm lashes above the Crownlands.

The halls of the Keep are empty, save for one Maester whose slipper-clad feet patter against the stone floors in earnest. A thin length of parchment threatens to crumple in his fist, and tears collect in his eyes as the words on the tiny scroll turn over and over in his mind.

A particularly loud howl of wind blows through the corridor, sweeps the cap off his head and blows out a few torch lights as it passes. The Maester continues on without pause, however, purpose and pain fueling his strides as he reaches the Queen’s quarters. 

The Dowager Queen Alicent faces the window of her solar, unable to sleep due to the relentless wails of the storm.

“It rages as if we are in Storm's End,” she mutters, her eyes tracking the rivulets of rain that slide down the glass. Worry creases her forehead over thoughts of the city folk who’ve no proper lodging, and she makes a mental note to speak to the small council about building more shelters for the needy.

A hum from behind her ripples through the quiet.

“Perhaps Lord Baratheon has convinced the gods to spare his lands for a night,” The Queen Rhaenyra jests, voice soft as she stares at the crackling flames warming the room.

She sips her tea after, eyes meeting Alicent’s as their heads both turn to look at the other. Rhaenyra’s lips curl around the edge of the teacup, a smile hidden by the ceramic. But Alicent knows it’s there, and she smiles back. 

“Thank you for lending your company, my Queen,” she starts, legs carrying her at a steady pace towards Rhaenyra. “Sleep does not come easily to me when the sky seems like it is falling.”

Alicent takes Rhaenyra’s hand not holding a teacup in both of her own. She looks down at her companion, noting the way the slope of her nose is more prominent in the orange shadows of the fire.

Rhaenyra returns her gaze through eyelashes, and her hand flips to tightly hold onto Alicent’s.

“You need not thank me, lo–”

A knock cuts the endearment off. Rhaenyra sighs, but does not pull away as Alicent grants entrance to the person at the door.

Ser Harrold steps in, bowing before the two queens. If he notices the tender aura that envelops the women, he does not mention it. Though, a conscious simper forms on his lips.

“Apologies, my lady, your grace,” he starts, and steps to fully push the doors open, “Maester Corren bears urgent news from Oldtown.”

Alicent’s brows knit together once again. Oldtown?

“Oldtown?” Rhaenyra echoes the other queen’s thoughts. “What news from Oldtown cannot wait to be heard ‘til the morning?”

The Kingsguard side-steps to let the Maester inside, the chained man swift in his movements to plant himself in the middle of the room.

“My sincerest apologies, your grace,” Maester Corren’s usually seasoned and stoic tone trembles as he speaks, and he holds his down-turned fist out to offer the parchment to Alicent.

“I would not come at this late an hour if it was not distressing,” he continues.

“Corren, what has shaken you?” Alicent questions him. After a beat, it dawns on her what news from Oldtown might mean.

“Has something happened at the High Tower? To Daeron, or my father?” She cannot help but ask aloud, not wanting to accept the parchment yet.

She receives only shakes from the head of the Maester, and his chains clank against each other from the movement. The two queens watch as the trained scholar reaches up with his other palm to wipe at his face.

“Please,” he pleads, as if a young child. “I know this is most uncouth, but I cannot bear to read it again, your graces.”

Alicent looks down at her queen, their hands still grasping one another’s. With a nod from Rhaenyra, Alicent releases her hold and turns her palm face up to accept the scroll. The Maester releases it, as if it’s burned him, and takes a step back. 

She unfurls the paper with surprisingly steady fingers, unwilling to let her nerves get the better of her. Once she reads the writing on the scroll, however, she understands why the Maester trembles all over.

The red-haired queen barely registers Rhaenyra urging the shaken Maester to sit as she herself takes a deep inhale to steady her breathing. Alicent’s eyes rake over the tiny parchment multiple times, not believing the words before her.

“Alicent?” Rhaenyra sees her turn towards the window again, head ducked and both hands clutching the scroll. “What is it? What has happened?”

Rhaenyra catches her utterance of the word light, and one look at Ser Harrold is enough to have the older knight take over with assisting Maester Corren. She tries again to capture Alicent’s mutterings, coming up right beside her to grasp her elbow in a gentle hold.

“My dear,” Rhaenyra whispers, soft enough that only she and her doe-eyed companion can hear. “Look at me, please.”

The sorrow in the Dowager Queen's gaze washes over Rhaenyra's entire being. The corners of Alicent's mouth struggle to keep from quivering as she tries to relay the news, but sounds refuse to form in her throat.

"It's alright, you do not have to speak," Rhaenyra reassures. She gestures with her palm for the scroll. "May I?"

Rhaenyra takes the miniscule parchment from Alicent, who offers no resistance. The paper curls again as Rhaenyra pinches it between her thumb and forefinger, her other hand reaching up to brush away a tear that has found its way out of Alicent's wide eyes. Her heart aches at the sight, and she wonders what news the little parchment holds to have had cast such a large wave of emotion over everyone around her.

Alicent’s eyes flutter to a close, and she ducks her head again as Rhaenyra finally looks upon the writing. She hears a gasp, and when Alicent glances up, Rhaenyra holds the same grief on her face that she’s sure she mirrors.

After a beat of silence, Maester Corren is the first to speak.

"The Prince Aemond should know."

"No," Alicent answers all too quickly. "It can wait until the morn–"

"I beg your pardon, your grace, but you know it cannot," he interrupts. He stands from where Ser Harrold has sat him down on a chaise, voice reverting back to the neutral yet firm tone of a chained Maester.

Rhaenyra watches as Alicent's posture straightens at the man's tone, watches Alicent steel and ready herself to retort at the Maester's apparent lack of respect. Before she can, however, he continues.

"You've read the scroll," he says. "By the end of the moon, the illness will take hold no later than when the first rays of light hit the sphere of the Citadel."

Rhaenyra hears a shaky exhale come from Alicent, whose hand maneuvers to clutch at Rhaenyra's forearm for support. She surrenders it, lets the Dowager Queen lean against her.

"Corren, you must understand," Rhaenyra is gentle in her address. "This news... it will break him."

"Please, your grace," the Maester pleads. "My dear cousin has suffered far too much; this illness has taken far too much."

No one talks but the Maester, as everyone in the chamber knows the truth in his sayings.

"If you could read the letters I have received... the hurt I have deciphered, embedded in my cousin's handwriting. Please, my queens, do not sequester away things that you can so easily give."

"And what are those, Maester?" Rhaenyra poses.

"Relief," his scholarly façade ripples away for but a moment. "Healing... Love."

Rhaenyra feels her jaw clench, feels Alicent's grip on her arm tighten, feels Ser Harrold's stare on her face, waiting for a command. She glances at her friend, her closest companion– with her head bowed and shoulders heaving, a finger picking at the cuticles of the same hand. She glances back at the Maester, notes the way his voice wavers slightly at the mention of his cousin, notes the fact that he has never faltered in his duties as first and foremost a Maester of the Red Keep, until now.

When she looks at Ser Harrold, Rhaenyra notes the hesitation on his face. He knows what is right, what must be done, what must be said aloud, but cannot acknowledge what is so until she commands it so.

For the sake of the queen beside her, however, she does not say the words. As Ser Harrold's gaze meets hers, she simply nods. He knows.

Only the sound of the crackling fire can be heard, along with the clinking of the knight’s armour, as he moves to grasp Maester Corren firm on the shoulder.

Before his gloved hand can make contact, Alicent speaks.

"There is no need, Ser Harrold."

Her hold on Rhaenyra's arm loosens, and ultimately falls away. Alicent steps towards the Maester, and for a moment Rhaenyra sees fear flash in his eyes. But as Alicent reaches forward to hold Corren's upper arm in comfort, the fear is replaced with something akin to gratitude.

"You are right, Corren," Alicent says, understanding. "It will break him, yes, but perhaps... perhaps it can also heal him. As reconciliation often does."

She continues, "Your cousin had once granted me these things you speak of."

Her gaze comes back to meet Rhaenyra's, tone reminiscent.

"So, what am I if not ungrateful, if I were to deny such things from the Light of the Realm?"

The two queens' illuminated smiles hold a twinge of melancholy to them. If the men in the room know of the reasons, of the events, of the love behind such smiles, they do not say.

Prince Aemond's light dims, to a darker dullness he thought was not possible, at the beginning of the hour of the wolf.

He’s sat atop the bed, sapphire eye uncovered, knees bent to accommodate the tome he cradles in his lap. There’s a familiar heft to it, having been in the prince's possession for nearly a decade. Its spine cracked beyond care, its pages dog-eared, margins riddled with writing.

Though, the ink on the paper remains as fresh as can be. The book rarely leaves the four walls of the prince's quarters, sunlight never having the chance to fade its text.

It has become a comfort to the prince, despite its heavy weight and heavier content. Though, it is not solely the scholarly content that draws the prince to reach for the tome every night, tucked away in his bedside drawer, before he surrenders to sleep.

Tis more so what lies in between the lines: illustrations scribbled over with black coal, highlighted passages, notes, reminders to pursue treatments that he once believed would be successful.

"Once I have a dragon, we will fly to the Citadel and have the Archmaesters conduct this," he had said, underlining the title of a procedure he thought had the most chance of curing an illness that threatened his companion.

"They would not dare deny a prince of the realm, I swear it."

Aemond’s forefinger traces the curve in a diagram of the human backbone as he recalls the promise he had made and failed to keep, though to no fault of his own. Still, the ache in his chest makes itself known once again, as recognizable as the tome he clutches.

Pages fly wildly about when a gust of wind manages to slip through a crack in a window. Aemond can only watch as the candles in his room dance and writhe until most of them flicker out, the scent of melted wax left to fester in the air.

A sigh escapes him. His sole eye strains to make out a passage with whatever light remains in the room, but the darkness swallows his bed area too much. As he contemplates whether to take this as a sign from the gods to rest, or to relight the candles and continue on, a knock sounds at his door.

Brow and marred skin crease together in confusion.

"Ser Arryk?" he calls out, unsure of which knight of the Kingsguard had taken station outside his chambers for the night.

The sudden arrival of the storm had scrambled the usual routine of the Red Keep, adding to that three of the Kingsguard having left to trail after members of the royal family who had ventured out into the Kingswood for a day or two of hunting.

Of the nephews, cousins, and siblings, only Aemond chose to remain– knowing in himself that he was lately not one for prolonged interactions, even if it was solely his family he'd be around.

"I would only dampen the mood, sister," he said to Helaena, tone playful. She carried Baela's youngest in her arms, the mother having stepped away for a few moments. "Bring me back one of those rare crawling creatures you are so fond of, won’t you?"

Helaena beamed at the request. She bounced the toddler excitedly on her hip, lilted voice asking the not-yet verbal babe what insects they might find in the forests. The child giggled in response, just as Jace and Luke walked into the room, hunting gear in their arms. Aemond noted the way Jace's eyes lit up at the sound of his child's laughter.

"Nephews," Aemond greeted them. Had he been the man that he was 10 years ago, malice and disdain would've seeped into his voice. Instead, he continued, genuine concern for his family coating his following advice.

"Be wary of your surroundings," he had said, grasping Luke's shoulder, "look out for one another."

When he asks again, it is not Ser Arryk who answers.

"It is me," his mother's voice calls out instead. "And Rhaenyra."

Aemond's puzzlement only grows, though not at the presence of his half-sister. He had long ago grown accustomed to the sight of the two women near each other after his father's death and the family's reconstitution– a process which had not settled so easily in him as it did in the matriarchs of their house.

No, his uncertainty at this moment comes from their joint company at such time of night. Nothing good nor godly has ever greeted Aemond during the wolf's hour.

"May we come in?" Rhaenyra says, muffled by the wood of the chamber door.

Aemond realizes that he's only clad in his breeches and a loose white poet shirt, hardly appropriate attire to wear in front of both Queens of the realm. He scrambles to where his dressing robe hangs by his bed and wastes no time in tying it closed before he whips the door open.

"Mother," he nods to Alicent before addressing his half-sister. "Your grace."

He takes in the sheen on his mother's face, and Rhaenyra's right arm outstretched behind her, no doubt on the small of her back in a steadying effort. Their solemn expressions pierce a needle of anxiety through him, the once stoic and confident one-eyed prince now overtaken with clammy hands and shaky breaths. He remembers his family stranded by the storm in the Kingswood, protected by sworn knights yet still vulnerable to the wrath of nature.

"What is the matter?” Aemond cannot help the worrying rambles that leave his mouth. “Has something happened to the hunting party? I can take Vhagar to retrieve them from the Kingsw–"

Rhaenyra's hand raising makes him pause. "They are alright, dear brother, you needn't worry."

"Apologies, sister," he says, sheepish. Aemond steps aside to allow them entrance. "Please, come in."

Alicent is first to cross into the threshold with Rhaenyra close behind. It is only when she passes Aemond that he realizes his mother has yet to look him in the eye.

He observes as Alicent settles herself down onto a seat around the center table of his quarters. Her gaze remains downcast, not meeting his.

"A Record of Incurable Illnesses in the Known Realm," Rhaenyra says aloud, tone questioning, eyes on the cover of the tome that he had haphazardly thrown upon the table in his haste. "Do not tell me you plan on forging a maester's chain, lēkia."

"I was doing some nightly reading," Aemond admits, though he's familiar enough with Rhaenyra's joking tone that he knows she is not fully using it. She knows why he reads what he reads, and he is thankful that she does not speak it plainly.

He hears his mother breathe in at the mention of the book, as though to brace herself. Aemond thinks she might plainly speak on it.

The prince decides he shall be forthright, not pleased with the feeling of his body physically manifesting his anxiety. His jaw clenches, and sweat begins to pool in the dip of his back despite the chilly air of the night.

"As much as I enjoy your company, my queens, I must ask, why have you graced me with it at such an hour?"

"Aemond," his mother at last looks up at him. Her eyes brim with tears. "A raven from Oldtown arrived earlier, at the hour of the owl."

His mouth runs dry. "Is it Daeron? Or grandsire?"

Aemond’s mind forbids itself from wondering about the only other person residing in Oldtown worth mentioning.

He does not miss the quaking exhale from Rhaenyra, who speaks when Alicent seems at a loss for words. "It came from the Citadel."

He goes still, as if turned to stone.

A cold rush starts from the tips of his fingers, and it spreads to his arms, to his torso, and grips his spine. The last word his sister had uttered melts into a continuous ringing in his ears which grows and grows until even the storm outside ceases to exist.

Numbness has rendered him immobile, he thinks, he is rooted to his spot.

And then he mutters a name his lips had not formed in years A name that he has not heard anyone say in his vicinity, in fear of what his reaction might be.

Your name comes out in a whisper. Posed as a question that he prays they leave unanswered.

He's undeserving to speak it with full volume. He fears that merely allowing his throat to form the sounds of it will make it so, manifest it into reality.

And Aemond thinks, when Rhaenyra nods in confirmation, what a twisted reality this has become.

She continues speaking, though the pealing in his ears has grown louder ten-fold and permits him to decipher only bits and pieces.

Raven... Maester Corren... take hold...

He sees Rhaenyra pull out a strip of paper and begin to read from it.

Aemond needs to sit down. Instead, he stumbles back, shoulder bumping against the wall. He vaguely hears the scraping of a chair–vaguely registers the arms that find purchase under his to keep him upright. He hears his mother call out his name, though it sounds distant and dampened. He sees his sister halt mid-statement, arms out in a ready stance to assist Alicent if need be.

But when Aemond's eye stares into hers, when he briefly glances at the parchment curled around her fingers, she knows what he is asking for and carries on reading.

"... most likely succumb to the illness not long after the first rays of light hit the sphere of the Citadel on the last day of this moon. We urge you – visit while you can, before the Stranger comes, while there is still time left."

"Aemond," his mother repeats. "Come, let us take a seat."

Alicent pulls her arms away from under his. She opts to clutch at his forearm instead and attempts to tug him towards a chair.

But Aemond is stock-still against the wall. The last sentence echoes in his mind.

Visit while you can.

While you are still alive.

Before the Stranger comes.

Death had not taken you yet.

While there is still time left.

He still had time.

The prince is shaken out of his stupor when another gust of wind flitters about his room, the howl of it catching his mother off-guard.

"Mother," he turns to her, places his hand atop hers that holds onto him. "I must go."

Alicent peers at her son for a moment to search his face. What she expects to find, he doesn't know. He half-expects her to argue, to protest against his admittedly rash and unspoken plan of action, and he fails to conceal his surprise when his mother does neither.

Alicent’s hands move to either side of his face, and he feels the press of a kiss to his forehead, where his scar topmost starts. A sad smile graces her face as she gazes into her son’s eyes.

“I know.”

He can see his mother's internal qualms with his leaving at such an hour, in such weather, but she does not voice them.

The Queen does, however.

"The storm is unrelenting," Rhaenyra states. "Too dangerous to face alone.”

“You’d have me wait?”

You’d have me wait, have me prolong my suffering even longer? Aemond wants to say, though he bites his tongue.

“That is not what I meant, lekia,” Rhaenyra says, soft, against his own firm voice. “You need not face it alone; I shall accompany you on Syrax."

“No,” Aemond blanches, the memories of what had almost occurred the last time dragons flew amidst a storm flashing through his mind.

“You… you are needed here, my queen,” he tries to reason.

"Aemond,” Rhaenyra tuts, worry in her voice. “You may ride the largest dragon, but even Vhagar might not be a match for the gales of wind that plague the skies tonight."

“Perhaps,” he starts. “But our family stays stranded, with no dragons, in the Kingswood. One of us should keep near, should they need assistance."

I will not be able to protect you, he wants to say. Not when my thoughts are elsewhere.

Aemond squeezes his mother's hand once, twice, smiles at her and lets her go to step towards Rhaenyra. She contemplates his statement, though part of her knows he is right.

But they are siblings, and Aemond's stubbornness is her own.

"Then perhaps wait and see if the storm breaks by sunrise," Rhaenyra suggests. "If it does not, then at the very least you will have light in the rain. But do not venture out during the night's darkest hour– not with this downpour added to it."

Aemond turns her counsel over in his mind. "Do you say this to me as queen?"

"I say this to you as your sister,” she stares at him fondly. “Though, you might consider, your older sister."

He glances at Alicent, who now stands once more beside Rhaenyra, and merely shrugs. "It is your choice, my son. I leave it to you."

There is not a trace of hesitation in his being. “Then I shall forge ahead to the Citadel.”

At that, he moves to turn to his wardrobe. He's eager to change into his riding leathers as quick as he can – when Aemond catches Rhaenyra's loving glance at his mother. And as Alicent returns the queen's gaze with equal, if not more, affection – an epiphany he had years ago, when he first lost your companionship over his foolishness and shortcomings, comes back to him.

You did this, he echoes in gratitude what he had once said to you in anger. You are the one I have to thank for this happiness.

(He still remembers the word he used then – this farce.)

“Mandia,” Aemond calls out to his sister, steps faltering. Rhaenyra meets his gaze— one that once held indifference and disdain towards her, now only full of gratitude and kinship.

“Thank you,” is all he breathes out.

Rhaenyra nods in understanding. “I shall follow after you with the others once they’ve returned from the Kingswood.”

The two queens watch as Aemond moves about with a fervor they’d not seen in the one-eyed prince for nearly a decade.

“Here you are,” Alma lifts a cup to your lips, its contents steaming. “Steady, dear.”

The fragrant tea is warm as you sip it, and you sigh in relief at the wonders it does to soothe your aches and pains. You sink deeper into the soft bed, your eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment, still slightly heavy with sleep.

“Thank you, Alma,” you say, voice shaky, as you gaze up at her. “Your tea is magical, and tasty, as always.”

She beams at your compliment and brings the cup up for another sip.

“Thank you, though I wish I could take credit for the beneficial parts of the concoction, dear light,” Alma says. “You know it is your cousin who has developed its base, I merely added the herbs to make it more bearable for consumption.”

Her use of your epithet does not go unnoticed by you.

“Hm, still, thank you for making it so,” you hum. “And you know I’m not particularly fond of that name, Alma.”

“Tis an apt title, in my opinion,” she retorts. Alma sets the cup down on the table by your bedside, afterwards reaching over to lovingly caress your hair.

“And one most deserved,” she adds, in a quiet voice. You can only grace her with a small smile, knowing that an argument with her will only end up with you frustrated and her ever more triumphant.

Alma leaves your side to flit about the room, tidying up the blankets at the foot of your bed and using the rag on her shoulder to wipe down the dust on the many shelves of books. She chats while she moves about, though her attempts at asking you questions about what literature you crave to read next are mostly ignored.

Your attention favours the arched window on the far-right wall of your chamber— large and low enough on the wall for you to be able to look at the world beyond from where you lay, bedridden. One of its stained-glass panels had been cracked open, and a light breeze jostles the short green drapes that frame the window. Not so distantly, the High Tower gleams solid white against the blue morning sky, an ever constant and looming presence, a permanent fixture within the limited view your chamber window offers.

The sight of the tall structure, clean and angular, never fails to remind you of the man half-descended from the family charged with its care.

A small crick forms in your neck from the prolonged turn of your head, and you slowly face forward again to avoid the discomfort turning into an ache. In your periphery, the High Tower remains, and so do thoughts of the man.

You cannot help the question that leaves your mouth.

“Have any ravens arrived from the Crownlands?” From the Red Keep, you mean to say, though Alma knows you well enough to know what hides behind the generalization, but kind enough to not point it out. You’ve asked the question many times to many others in the past few days, since the Citadel raven left with the Maesters’ scroll secured to its leg.

“I’ve not heard anything from the rookery,” she turns to you with a rehearsed answer. “There’s apparently quite atrocious weather over the capital, I don’t expect creatures of any kind would want to venture out into it.”

“I see,” you say, deflated. She turns at the change of pitch in your tone.

“Soon, dear light,” Alma reassures you from her spot in front of the bookshelves, kind gaze taking in your solemn expression.

You look up at her, grace her with a small smile and a nod in understanding. “Right, soon.”

“Now,” she says, determined to distract you from your anxiety. “I do think it’s about time to break fast.”

“Oh, I’m alright,” you start. “I’m not that hungry—”

Your stomach grumbles in discontent, the sound bouncing off the stone walls of your chambers.

Alma raises her eyebrows, as if to say What were you saying?

“Fine,” you sigh. “But something small, please. I don’t have much of an appetite, truly.”

“I’ll ask the cook for a warm meal,” Alma counters. “A large, warm meal.”

“Alma—” your groan is cut off by another, stronger growl, though this time not accompanied by the familiar vibrations of hunger in your stomach. Alma lets out a laugh at the noise.

“My!” she exclaims, hands on her hips as she looks at you. “Maybe some pastries as well, then? I’ll have Blythe fetch some from the bakery.”

“That wasn’t me,” you whisper, brows furrowing. Alma’s amused expression morphs into one of confusion, likely mirroring your own.

“What—”

A roar, loud as a crack of thunder and close enough that you feel it shake your bones, rattles the chamber. Dust falls from the ceiling, and your frail trembling fingers clutch at the sheets either side of you.

“Seven Hells!” Alma yelps. She drops the rag in her hand and strides to your bed. She sits down beside you and takes your hand. “What in the gods’ name was that?”

You don’t answer her, though an inkling feeling develops in your mind as you painfully whip your head to peer out the window. The quaking had caused the pane to open even more ajar, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight you see.

The High Tower remains grand in the distance, though its domineering presence is now diminished by the shade of a winged shadow, which grows and grows until the being attached to it comes into view. It circles the tower twice around before it flies to land on an empty hill, stretching its wings and letting out another quaking roar.

Alma lets out a shaky breath beside you. “Is that…”

You nod, silently, to answer her trailed off question. The crick in your neck reappears, though you pay it no mind.

“Vhagar.”

☆ translations: lēkia= brother, mandia = sister

☆ this is a REUPLOAD bcs i didn't like the ending of the first version. also i chose the most hectic time of my life to start writing a multi-chapter fic so only the gods know when i'll be able to update this lol.

is this bad, is this good? let me know what you think!

[contentment-of-cats]

I'll say it again. Andor is the best Star Wars show.

And that's because they didn't let Dave Filoni anywhere near it.

The show is called 'Ahsoka' but is actually an unaired season of Rebels. It ought to have been called 'attempted massive retcon at unwise forward speed' or 'Sabine has abandonment issues and makes poor decisions.' There are good scenes (possibly from another show, which one is anyone's guess) strung together with tired plot devices. Thrawn was chucked into this mess because there was no other way to move the plot. I did dig on some of the details like the signs of age and hard living and the obvious condition of the Chimaera. Other than that - pfft.

Turning to Thrawn - I am an unabashed fan of the Zahn-authored 2017 Trilogy and the HTTE trilogy (except the ending). He is complex neither all good or all evil. He is an antagonist and protagonist at once. Someone to root for and also against. Did he contrive his exile to join the Empire and possibly take it over in order to protect his people? It's possible. I don't think we'll ever find out, though. That being said, I don't think we're going to get much more from two more episodes.

One of my friends said that Filoni writes for children's shows, and it's true. The characters are almost cartoonish, not understandable as adults, but as kids understand adults to be. Perhaps I am expecting too much from an eight-episode MCU-kin show, but there was time to develop Sabine, or FFS Ahsoka (you know, the protagonist?), to fill in whatever has gone on in the past nine years since the Battle of Yavin, five years after Endor. For Sabine and Ezra, there should have been more feeling in that scene than the swell of the music.

A lot of the blame rests with Disney, and the paranoia-controlled process to stamp out leaks at all costs. There is a continuity to writing a script, working out the story boards, reading the script, and then shooting that is entirely lacking in franchise-oriented product. Franchise oriented product is formulated to sell merch and streaming subscriptions, and to drive bodies into theme parks. It's marketable.

The writers' and actors' guild strikes are ongoing. I'm content to wait - writers and actors have been getting screwed, fucked, and buttered without mercy for years. There is a new intensity to the talks as the studios start to sweat.

Final note: I love Thrawn, but the ageism of a vocal part of the fandom makes me want to still be around when these people hit 50. Age and illness and injury HAPPEN. Our bodies do not work as well when joints break down, we get hurt, or sick. Even when he regain functionality, it doesn't all come back. Even when our lives are saved, there are still sequelae. It's made me think less of some folks.

[crepe-of-wrath]

Benefits Package AU St. Valentine's Special Part 1 (Alucard x Fem Reader)

Notes: not a direct continuation of BP 1/2, but happening in the same AU continuity; this is the set-up for the Main Event on Tuesday so no smut here; this is more light-hearted/slice of life

Picture it: the Hellsing Manor, sometime in late 1998. You had learned many unexpected things about Alucard since Sir Integra ordered him to start 'taking care' of you. For example, he had a surprising Boys' Own impish streak that occasionally broke through all his weightiness, and at the most unpredictable times...

You caught him emerging from the wall out of the corner of your eye and screamed right over his (presumed) greeting.

The vampire just grinned at you as though he was totally unaware of how badly he'd frightened you, which, as you had come to learn, was probably the truth of it, as age and...whatever else had happened to him had made him completely blind to temporary flashes of human emotion.

To be fair, the fact that you were now laughing--I mean, he did look ridiculous, only phased halfway through the wall, attention now turned to your TV and DVD player--didn't help.

(Thanks to his Master, Alucard had not only been one of the very first beings on earth to have his own DVD player, but he also had perhaps the finest collection of action movies on DVD in the world. There was an entire folder in one of your cabinets that contained volumes of correspondence negotiating for one-off DVD copies of Alucard's favorite films that hadn't seen regular public release yet. As a result, the cinematic world now labored under the assumption that Sir Integra was a great admirer of thrillers. She was not.)

"I heard you opening something. Did I get a new movie?" asked Alucard, with all the genuine enthusiasm of a twelve-year-old child.

"This is actually for me," you said. "You won't like it. It's sitcom stuff." You had just unwrapped the world's only version of The Simpsons (Seasons 1-4) on DVD. (Many DVDs, to be precise.)

Alucard shrugged.

"Enjoy, little human." And, with that, he was gone.

You were skipping from episode to episode in Season 4 while doing your usual late-night work when there was a knock at the door. You squealed in surprise.

"Little human," said Alucard, who just walked through the door instead of waiting for you to open it, "is there any method of entering a room that doesn't upset you?"

"It's late!"

"Yes it is"--now he sounded like Walter when he lectured you about taking care of yourself--"and you should stop working." With no effort, he pulled over a large, ornate wingback, plucked you out of your office chair, and settled you in his lap. He let you wrap your comparatively little hand in one of his and prop your head on his chest as he gently scratched your scalp with the fingers of his other hand.

"That's right," he quietly whispered. "All done for today, little human. Tell me, what are we watching?"

"Well," you said, "the girl in the dress gave that boy next to her a paper valentine because no one else gave him one and she felt sorry for him, and now he thinks she is his girlfriend and she's about to embarass him at this public event on camera by telling him she's not."

" And...this is funny?"

"Yes," you said, although in the moment you found yourself unable to explain why.

"What sorts of Valentine's presents do you usually get, little human?"

You laughed. "The only person who ever got me anything was my father. I think it was so I wouldn't feel left out when he and my mother exchanged gifts."

"Hmmm," said Alucard. "And what did he get you last year?"

"Oh, he hasn't gotten me a Valentine's gift in some time," you said, only realizing in that moment that this made you a little sad.

"Hmmm," said Alucard.

TBC

[coredrill]

SPOILER bravern bd novel thoughts from someone who has not read the thing. LMAO

[obvious disclaimer that not only is all this info secondhand but also idk japanese so gtranslate my love]

man i was so stressed about this for nothing LMAO. like for context here was my thoughts going in:

(girl that timestamp wtf was i doing at 4:14 am 😭😭😭 no wonder its italic city up in there)

and like. sequel bait LMAO. sequel bait is the reason! which is far better than anything i feared would be the case even if i am still 🤨 abt smith henshin on the whole. basically how i see it is like. obviously henshin is ~cool~ like it’s got a solid cool factor to it and i think smith would think it’s cool. i personally am not quite sold on it bc like. i feellike it does undermine the show a LITTLE……..like obviously bravern’s arc was learning to appreciate his human form and now it’s just. ROBO AGAIN WHENEVER LMAO. which again, i love robots and bravern, so cool!! but it does feel like a bit of a regression in terms of thematic strength. however i do definitely see the necessity if they want to make more bravern which the staff has been very open about being the case:

they need. A Robot. obviously

three-store system, they can continue to express love and sex between sumiisa with bravern form

thus, this sequelbait bluray novel. which, sequelbait isn’t my favorite thing in the world obviously, and frankly i still don’t think we need a sequel at all and am inclined to not have one (tho i know that’s personal preference), but like. i got real worried after the first bd dropped so i’m real happy that’s all it is!! a mid bluray bonus is much better than “kuro bravern beats the snot out of petty thieves” which did cross my mind at one point FNDNFNDNND. anyways overall thoughts is that it’s likely Fine/10, not mind-blowing in either direction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mostly i was worried abt the motivation of Why give smith henshin, and the answer to that being “bc we want to leave things open for a sequel!” isn’t the worst answer in the world imo

if we do get a sequel new mecha for lulu pls 🥺 i want her to keep piloting too…………………

isami is such a cutie though………wanting to stay with smitha nd lulu………and also lulu looking at isami n smith and being like. damn u bitches are never gonna be normal again huh. took me OUT 😭😭😭

WAIT ALSO FOR GOT TO ADD. that trend in fanarts of isami calling smithvern beloved machine. if there’s another season HE SHOULD DO THAT the g gundamism of it all………………

coming back 2 edit again to say that. i say “bait” a lot here but tbh i feel like a better phrase would perhaps be “setup” or merely just “moving pieces into place” for a sequel…………….like obviously they’d have to animate the Big Stuff anyways so i imagine it’d be like a few years after the show ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ either way tho i think my point still comes across!!

[raayllum]

So for some reason this ask isn’t showing up in my tumblr inbox but I was luckily alerted to it through my email soo

@nothingmorethanageminiboar 

Behold, you have stumbled upon what is probably my favourite Rayllum dynamic pattern and definitely one of my favourite parallels / arcs in the series. Which is to say: Callum and Rayla are defined by the choice to leave or stay, specifically in their relationship with each other, more than arguably any other characters in the series. While Ezran’s choice to leave and go home to be king is noble, and Claudia’s choice to stay is tragic, for most of the characters (with the exception of Soren and Claudia’s splintering) their choice to either physically stay or go doesn’t affect their relationships, and doesn’t continually affect them. Soren chose to leave once in 3x07, thus being one big ‘leaving’. When Claudia and Soren go their separate ways again in S4 after a brief reunion (although him chasing her down definitely does factor in) there’s not a lot of focus. 

Rayllum gets this focus constantly.

From their first episode

to their last

In fact, one of the first Rayllum metas I ever wrote was about the trend of Callum running after Rayla throughout season one, and how each scene reveals a new facet of their dynamic, as well as progresses their bond. 

Which, their pattern of chasing, leaving, or staying typically goes like this. Rayla, for various reasons, leaves first. Callum either watches her go, chases after her, or both. Rarely, if Rayla leaves, does she approach him after the fact; normally it’s a full on ‘pursuit’ if you will. (Which makes sense, as Rayla usually leaves out of nobility or shame or both, and Callum usually leaves out of anger. This is why her coming back at all of her own fruition, although we don’t know why, is a massive step forward.)

Or, if Callum is leaving first, Rayla chases then watches him go, and then typically waits for him to come back to her. 

This also tends to very much entangled with their reaching motif, as well. It’s present in their dialogue too, with lines such as “It’s okay, Callum, I’m not asking you to come with me” and “But I’m not going with you” (3x08) and “Callum, please, come back! You’ve got to stay with me, I can’t lose you like this!” Rayla is more verbally connected to the theme, while Callum tends to be more action oriented (hence him regularly chasing after her, perhaps), flipping how they usually express love (but not need, which one of my favourite meta followups here). The Book 2 novelization has also commented on this, with a quote from when Callum watches Rayla leave for patrol in early 2x01 (something the show didn’t give the same weight to, I suppose) with: “Callum stared after her. He wished she didn’t have to keep risking her life for them like this” even perhaps paralleling Rayla’s own sentiment in Dear Callum: “I wish I could stay and eat fake cake and sing songs with you. I wish I could show you the Moonshadow Birthday Dance, and kiss you one more time.” 

Season four, as with many things, takes this facet of their dynamic from the first three arcs (mostly Callum running after her / choosing to stay, but plenty of Rayla seeking him out as well) and giving it even more overt dialogue, bringing it to the forefront, albeit in accordingly modified ways. For Rayla, once again, it’s more verbal. 

Soren: You can’t just go off alone. Rayla: Alright, fine. Callum and I can go look for the entrance. Callum: No, I’ll stay with Ezran. Soren, you go with Rayla. 

Dear Callum: But I can’t let you stop me, Callum. No matter how much I want to.I have to be strong. No matter what. And if you said even one word to me, I wouldn’t be—couldn’t be. If I stay even until your eyes open and you yawn your silly morning yawn, I’ll break. I’ll still be here when the sun rises today, and the next day, and the next…I should go. I have to go.

Dear Callum: Oh, Callum… I have to go. I have to. I want to give you one last kiss, but I can’t risk your waking up. I have to go.

But let’s back track and break this down a bit.

Rayla returns in 4x03 (”She was still gone, and Callum didn’t know if she’d ever come back” —Inheritance). Callum, almost immediately, tries to leave. Rayla chases and asks him not to. Callum cannot bring himself to leave the way she did; he stays, even if he’s angry, unable to bring himself to disappoint her or to bring himself to go. When he shuts her out again, Rayla asks if she can stay. (Callum, at this point, has never asked to stay, only if he can come with.) Callum agrees. She leaves silently the next morning and is unsure about sticking around to go with them to Xadia precisely because of Callum, but luckily Ezran insists.

Then in the Uncharted Forest, Rayla tries to go off on her own (again) and tries to bring Callum along with her. He refuses and she leaves, and for the first time, Callum does not (or cannot / will not) watch her leave. 

We get a smaller inversion of this in 4x07 when he at least partially watches her go back into the air sphere and when he runs to her in 4x08 

but we get a proper fulfilment in 4x09, at least in terms of watching her leave and letting her leave, but also in running after her. (If you want the “looking away” motif version of this pattern across the series, and particularly in S4, check out this post here.) Specifically, in the way that Callum is the first to say/identify that they need to leave Umber Tor, but he’s actually the last to leave, staying behind to watch Rayla go until a boulder nearly crushes him, and then running after her (once again) to pull her from the rubble and to embrace her afterwards, walking up to her sword beforehand, etc.

“And it was the night I met—” It was impossible to say her name out loud. Rayla. It still hurt. She was still gone, and Callum had no idea if she’d ever come back.

Each time Runaan leaves, it is with the weight of knowing he may not come back. That to fulfil his duty, he may have to sacrifice everything. Himself, and all that we have here. 

Remember how I said that usually when Rayla leaves, she doesn’t come back on her own? S4 gives as a repeated turning point, in that Rayla is starting to make choices (although we don’t entirely know why) to prioritize coming back rather than finishing things to the brutal end. We don’t know why she came back in 4x03 (but given that Callum asks three times and the show doesn’t let it go into detail on purpose, I’m sure we will) and in 4x09, we can possibly read it as her deciding to get out with the coins > following Viren further over prioritizing her family (over a notion of prioritizing herself) but we shall have to wait and see.

So they have their cycle. So what? Well...

Breaking The Cycle

For example, Dear Callum and then S4 in show is the first time that Rayla expresses that she wishes she could stay. That she wants to stay, deep down. Compare and contrast to Ezran in 2x09 (“I wish I could go with you, but I can’t”), Rayla has stayed far more silent on the matter: “But I’m not going with you [...] You and Ezran should take Zym, but I can’t leave. I have to stay and defend the dragon queen” (3x08) in which Callum rightly points out that this is mostly out of guilt and not a mistake that she should have to pay the price for. 

And we also know that learning to take things together is where both of them are headed. Not only because it’s crucial for a relationship to operate as a team, and that Callum needs to learn how to express himself again and that Rayla needs to learn she deserves help, but also because we see this be evident with both sets of parents she’s emulating. Lain and Tiadrin both left to fulfil their duty together, and Runaan and Ethari know that they work as a team, fundamentally, too: “Ethari-” “I’m coming with you.” “As I assumed you would.” 

So we’re making progress, but Rayla is still prone to go off on her own (and Callum currently hasn’t given her an incentive to change, given that he listened to her and therefore kept himself safe, and can now accept this is a part of her that hasn’t changed, even if it hurts and breaks his heart). Thus, I expect S5 to give them enjoying the fact that they’re sharing space again, but fracturing due to these unresolved issues. He still missed and mourned her for two years, and she’s still completely liable to put him through that again, even if she really doesn’t want to. 

This is where more plot stuff comes in. I think Rayla guiding Callum out of the possession from Aaravos, if/when it happens again, and asking him to stay with her (call backs to 2x09) and promising to stay with him and not leave would do the trick in terms of reaffirming a lot of what they need. But as noted above, Rayla has asked Callum to stay before. 

He’s never asked her. I’ve written a larger meta about this (which you can read here) but Callum tends to express his devotion through verbal admiration and deep seated “I’m here for you what do you need” in action and in emotional support. “We’re in this together” / “I don’t care if you’re crying, I’m here with you” / “You know I’m always here for you, right?” Running after her, checking up on her, trying to get her to open up, accepting whatever she says whenever she does, etc. He’s just as devoted, but he expresses it differently in speech, and mostly through action. 

But think of how Rayla’s big speeches and statements almost always revolve around wanting to keep him safe/with her:

You’ve got to stay with me. Callum, please come back. I can’t lose you like this, you mean too much to me. 

He’s smart and kind and brave and he’s… My friend. My best friend. So please, allow him to pass into Xadia and help me take the Dragon Prince home. Because I don’t think I can do it without him.

But I became so obsessed with revenge, that I risked losing the best thing I ever had: you.

Callum. I’m glad we can be here together, looking at the stars. 

Beyond his heartbreaking “I couldn’t lose you” and “I let you go into the Nexus alone and I knew right away I made the biggest mistake of my life - I could have lost you” Callum doesn’t express in the same way, and not so consistently. He’s only ever asked to come with her, not for her to stay with him. We come close, very close, in S4 when he says that he needs her (to kill him) and Rayla is very surprised at first. 

[Rayla jerks back a bit, surprised]

But I am leaning more and more towards one of their turning points being Callum making it clear just how much he needs her, just how much he wants her to stay, just how much she’s important to him, and this actually getting through to her in her thick skull for once, being a significant jump forward in terms of her “I sacrifice and protect for you, but I can’t let you do the same for me” hurdle. 

Which is also why they have a pattern of Rayla putting herself on the line first (with the smoke wolves, saving Bait, the dragon, Sol Regem, saving Zym) and Callum putting himself on the line to save her in turn. She saves everyone - she saves him - and he saves her, and that’s the way it is. Callum giving her unconditional love and acceptance with this pattern is important, especially since Rayla has faced a lot more conditional feeling love in her life, and it allows her to grow and change not based on a relationship ultimatum, but because she wants to, for herself. However, her realizing that she really is just as important - and just as worthy of love and protection and being saved - to her friends as they are to her is also something that Callum can absolutely help with and affect. 

So yeah I’m fully banking on a “I lost her once, I can’t lose her again” from Callum in S5 and even more sentiments of staying and leaving and chasing in S5, possibly even to fruition. After all going into the Moon Nexus is the watershed that split them apart, so going back down into the water would be very full circle. 

[muthaz-rapapa]

Hirogaru Sky Impressions (2/5)

Full starting team now assembled. Yay~!

That said, I'm going to keep this "short" as I'm not feeling well. Also got some other things I need to finish but I can't concentrate on that if I don't get this post done and out of the way first.

Overall, the season is continuing to be a very delightful watch. I'm pleased with the pacing and that the writers are diligent about not giving away too much of the main plot just yet. There will be a proper time to dive into that later.

In the meantime, dedicating all the fillers to further fleshing out the Cures and building their team rapport and bonds with each other are exactly what we should always see from Precure.

Sora certainly holds the MC role the most prominently out of all her friends since her arc is tied closely to the main plot. So it's just a matter of waiting until the story returns to that for her arc to move forward. Namely, the reason behind the conflict between Skyland and the Undergu Empire (aka this season's lore), what Ellee-chan's significance is in the grand scheme of things and where the hell Captain Shalala is.

Though I think most of us have already theorized that her sudden disappearance is a setup for the eventual reveal that she is actually in league with the villains and will re-emerge as the third general. Or perhaps even the big bad boss because c'mon, you don't hire a veteran seiyuu like Mitsuki Saiga for only two or so episodes and call it a day.

Villain roles are mostly performed by well-established seiyuu in the industry so we can definitely expect Shalala to return in a fashion that would shake Sora's core beliefs (i.e. the broken pedestal trope). Which will then push her to re-evaluate what it means to be a true hero and come back even stronger after recovering from the shock.

On another note, I have my doubts whether Shalala is really the boss because the superior we heard Kabaton conversing with in ep 11 is actually voiced by Takako Honda, another veteran, and not Mitsuki Saiga.

...maybe Shalala is playing a double agent in order to get close to the Undergu leader and get rid of the threat once and for all that way?

Possible. But we don't have enough clues or evidence to confirm that yet so we'll just have to wait.

On another note, I like that they're doing something new again with this season by having the villain generals retire from their post right after their last defeat. Not sure if Kabaton will return as an ally in later episodes or not but it was heartwarming to see him turn over a new leaf and aim for a new and better purpose after he's been spared from death.

Back to the Cures.

Sora and Mashiro's friendship is just beautiful to behold. Thanks to Sora's arc being set aside for the moment, there's more time to focus on developing their relationship. Noticeably, it's during these fillers that Sora has increasingly become the one to support Mashiro rather than the other way around while Mashiro takes her own lead in finding her own path and discovering what she wants to do and what her dreams are (so yes, she isn't a Cure without a personal story arc, that's such a relief!).

Their partnership is quite balanced in that respect and I couldn't be happier.

Adding onto it, they're continuing to pay tribute to the original Futari Wa pair through Sora and Mashiro this way without disrupting the team camaraderie which is also a plus.

Tsubasa and Ageha as the beta pair provide very fun interactions, too, and I think I favor them over Sora and Mashiro. Whereas Sora and Mashiro are best friends who strive to do their best for each other, Tsubasa and Ageha have a more sibling dynamic between them with all the fond teasing and nagging.

The only complaint I have about them is their duo attack.

I mean yea, Wing looks so cool in his phoenix form (I'm calling it that, you can't stop me) but that shouldn't be a trade off for Butterfly getting all the lines while he becomes her nuclear pudgy mount.

I'm afraid that for all the progressiveness Toei has shown with HiroSky, they're still too chicken to go the full mile with the changes they implemented just yet.

We took two steps forward by finally including a male member to the main team...but took one step back with them still placing more importance on the girl cuz it's easier to sell her than the boy when their positions should be equal.

Granted, it's just one stock footage that only lasts about a minute but...it just bugs me, that's all.

That said, Butterfly's debut was omg, so awesome?!

The whole transformation sequence captured Ageha's vivacious personality perfectly.

She was already more than qualified to become Precure with her natural confidence and heroic drive. To see her slip right into the call like a duck taking to water (or er, a butterfly to the air) and then proceed to kick utter ass in her alter ego form...

Absolutely WONDERFUL.

I also love that though they constantly refer to Ageha as an adult and regularly show her dedication to her studies and jobs, they don't let her duties be the only things that define her.

Yes, she is mature and responsible but she's also living her best life and enjoying herself right now. She's interested in fashion, make up and has other personal interests outside her aspirations. She looks out for the kids who are younger than her while also having fun alongside them.

Yes, she's 18 and still in her youth but the point about Ageha/Butterfly's character is that there's no limit on choosing what you want for yourself. Just like how gender should not be an obstacle to becoming a magical girl (the metaphor for one's dreams and wishes), age shouldn't be one either.

Wear the accessories you want, pursue the hobbies you like, dance and sing without a care in the world.

As long as you're not hurting anyone, do what you find is fulfilling for you and do it without shame. You can be 30, 50, or 80 years old and that shouldn't matter in loving what you love.

Be like Ageha.

Act your age but don't be that. Be yourself foremost.

And that's all for now, I guess.

I suspect that midseason Cure debut will happen sometime before ep 30 so that we can have the ultimate forms + whole group power up attack around ep 40.

And then the remaining 8 episodes will center more or less around the main plot.

K, bye for now.

[all-seeing-ifer]

Wait I really like ats s5 it has some banger episodes, why don’t you like it?

oh man. season 5.

so, in theory, there's a lot about season 5 that I should like. I think it reinvents the show in an interesting way and I love the themes of never stopping fighting even in the face of the knowledge that the good guys are never going to truly win and that the deck is always going to be stacked against them. the fucking dialogue between gunn and anne in the finale? "I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here"? holy SHIT it is so good!!!

I totally get why people like season 5 I do think it genuinely has a lot going for it BUT you DID ask so I will now be presenting Isabel's List of Varyingly Serious/Petty Beefs With Angel Season Five. In No Particular Order:

Spike's a good addition to the show and god knows angel season 5 does more interesting stuff with him than buffy season 7 ever did but it is fucking insane to me how much focus and development he gets while gunn fred and lorne, who have been mainstays of the show since like season 2, continue to get absolute jack shit to do

just generally let's be honest. anyone who isn't a white guy this season is fucked. harmony gets no development despite being granted main cast status illyria gets nothing to do despite being set up as a super duper important addition to the cast I don't even know what they were fucking thinking with eve. etc.

THEY FRIDGED CORDY AND FRED WITHIN THREE EPISODES OF EACH OTHER. AND AT NO POINT DID ANYONE IN THE WRITERS' ROOM THINK THAT MAYBE THE FACT THAT THEY WERE WERE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF WOMEN WAS PERHAPS A PROBLEM

speaking of cordy my best girl of all time, I know people love you're welcome but i'm sorry i remain deeply ambivalent about that fucking thing. like yes it's nice that the cordy we know and love gets to come back for one last hurrah but also the episode basically never treats her like a person with feelings of her own and instead she's just there to motivate angel and then die so he can be sad about it. i can't believe it only took 40 minutes to set feminism back 4000 years

also sorry but did they really think you're welcome was going to be enough to make up for what they did to her in season 4? have you seen season 4? one episode where cordy looks hot and has her tits out and swordfights will NOT undo the damage that has been done

and then they proceed to set feminism back even further by just refusing to acknowledge the existence of their show's secondary protagonist for the basically the rest of the season and also fridging fred in an arguably even more horrific way three episodes later so wesley can be sad and so they can introduce a new character who does nothing

like seriously nothing makes me more rabid in season 5 than the scene in power play where the characters all vote on if they're gonna go through with their suicide mission against the circle of the black thorn and it's just all the men voting on it bc illyria's been incapictated bc I guess in angel season 5 women don't get to have agency even when they're literal godlike demon lords

on the subject of the illyria plotline i fucking hate how gunn gets treated. like sorry all the men on this show (sans lorne. unproblematic king) have done awful shit why does gunn get singled out as having done something uniquely horrible just for a shady business deal he couldn't possibly have known the consequences of. like we know why but still

and on the subject of gunn.... the fact that they wrote a storyline implying that the only way for the only black main character in the show to become smart and capable is for him to have his brain magically altered and NO ONE in the writers room was like HM MAYBE THIS IS A BAD LOOK ACTUALLY. christ i would feel way better about the whole "gunn feels like he's just the muscle" conflict if the show more consistently came down on the side that players does where gunn does actually have way more to offer than being the muscle but has just come to see himself as just The Guy Who Fights. but unfortunately they spend at least as much time writing gunn as Actually Just The Muscle. usually to make wesley look better (i promise i'm not bitter about it)

and perhaps i'd be less annoyed about all this if gunn also got literally anything else to do this season but this is truly all he gets until not fade away

which i guess is still better than fred? like fred just dies. that's it

guys i don't think we shit on the girl in question enough. like it's bad. it's really bad. i'm so glad we're currently in the shit talking lies my parents told me renaissance but can we also start bringing that same energy for this piece of shit

nina's an art student so i hate her by default (<- guy who went to art school <- i am allowed to say this)

despite spike being intended to serve as a replacement for cordy they just straight up don't give him relationships with any of the characters other than angel (and fred for like. one episode) and it results in him just feeling incredibly out of place

just in general actually it feels like the writers kind of stopped caring about any of the character relationships aside from angel and spike and fred/wesley (which they only care about bc it's a reason for wesley to be sad anyway)

the pacing is a nightmare and i do not give a shit about the circle of the black thorn. sorry

and just as a disclaimer i would like to acknowledge that like. ats was always fairly shitty about race and gender this isn't unique to s5 but MAN does it feel like season 5 in particular is just. saying the quiet part out loud constantly every episode

anyway thank you for giving me free rein to just bitch about angel season 5 for an extended period of time this was fun. still i'm honestly glad that you enjoy it like really truly I wish that were me

[ryqoshay]

Tri-Arame: Persona Plight?

Primary Pairing: N/A Starring: Setsuna Nana Also Starring: Shioriko, Student Council Vice President Words: ~1.4k Rating: G Time Frame: The day after Episode 6 of Season 2 Story Arc: Stand Alone

---------

Author's Note: Happy Birthday Setsuna! ♡ ＼(≧▽≦)／ ♡

I'm so happy to be able to post this! It was an honor to be chosen to write for the Shout Your Love! fan zine. And a lot of fun writing this entry. And participating in a good cause. And having one of my favorite LL artists @myonmukyuu draw something for one of my fics. But I still looked forward to sharing this story with more readers, so here we are.

Also, go check out the other stories in the collection and celebrate Setsuna on her special day!

And finally, worth mentioning that I am referring to Setsuna as Nana in this chapter, as she is in Nana-mode through most of it.

---------

Nana wanted to hum happily as she crouched and opened the cabinet door to her secret stash, but she was Nana at the moment and…

Wait, did she need to continue keeping up the façade now that she had revealed her secret to the school? For that matter, did she even need this secret stash anymore now that her parents knew as well?

Nana gasped slightly as a thought occurred to her. She could take her collection home and display it openly in her room now. Her regular ritual of shuffling books and discs among her friends and her stashes here at school and at home was… no longer necessary. She realized she should be happy about this turn of events and yet it somehow felt… anticlimactic? Had she come to enjoy this ritual that much?

Did she also enjoy keeping Nana and Setsuna separate?

She had attended classes all day as Nana, as usual. And she had intended on continuing in Nana mode through the upcoming student council meeting. She would eventually change to Setsuna mode to meet the rest of the idol club to continue the activities of the second School Idol Festival.

But could she have attended class as Setsuna? Could she run the student council as Setsuna? Or perhaps could she attend the festivities as Nana? Would everyone else be willing to go along with that, or would it weird them out? For that matter, would she weird out herself?

Nana reached up and touched one of her braids as she pondered her new situation. She did enjoy the hairstyle, and wearing glasses did help her feel like she was being more serious about things. Plus, there was no denying that she thoroughly enjoyed changing into Setsuna by undoing her braids, often intentionally dramatically, and swapping her glasses for contacts. It felt like she was literally liberating herself to be herself. Not that being Nana wasn’t being herself, of course.

Plus, just a few days ago, Setsuna had told her fellow idols that the student council and the school idol club were different things. She had explained that she loved both, wanted to continue both, and thus had wanted things to stay the way they were.

Except now things were different.

Nana jolted at the sound of the door opening on the other side of the room. Hastily, she slammed the cabinet door and spun toward those entering.

“Ah, Setsu…” the vice president cleared her throat. “I mean, Council President.” Despite the shift in formality, Nana could easily see she was holding back excitement.

“Nakagawa-sa,” Shiroriko greeted politely, seemingly unphased by the behavior of the girl beside her.

“M-Mifune-san, Vice P-President-san, you t-two are early!” Nana heard herself sputter before putting conscious effort into her words.

Shioriko blinked stoically as she approached. “As are you,” she observed before her gaze shifted down. “That is quite the collection you have.”

“Geh…” Nana realized her bag was still open.

“Do you normally carry that many books with you?”

“N-No, I… uhm…” Nana fumbled for an explanation. So much for preventing stuttering. After half a second of thought, she decided lying to Shioriko wouldn’t be effective. Her shoulders slumped. “I was sorting my collection.”

“Oh? What types of books do you collect?” The vice president sounded interested.

A familiar flame flickered within Nana. She was about to quash it when a thought occurred to her. With her secret revealed, a little crossover between her personas was fine, right? Maybe?

“Manga, doujin and light novels,” Nana replied, monitoring her excitement level, letting a little out, but not too much. She then listed her favorite genres, making sure to list fantasy and romance first.

“I should have guessed,” the vice president smiled. “That’s what you list in Setsuna-chan’s bio on the club’s site. Do you have any recommendations?”

The tiny flame flared into a full, fiery conflagration.

Recommendations? Of course she had recommendations!

Nana stooped and grabbed a book from her bag. “I was going to reread this one because the next entry in the series is being released later this week. It’s so~ good! A masterpiece! The story focuses on a couple of angels in Heaven. This one,” she pointed to a blue-haired girl on the cover, “comes from a cursed bloodline, which is why her wings are black and most of her powers are dark. Even her familiar is black.” Her finger moved to a cat on the girl’s shoulder. “And this one thinks of herself as just an ordinary, run of the mill angel.” She indicated a redhead. “But of course she…” Nana gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry, I… I really shouldn’t spoil anything…”

The vice president laughed lightly. “It’s fine. Who is the blonde?”

“She’s their superior officer.”

“Angels have officers?”

“They’re part of Heaven’s military and some of the chapters focus on them fighting demons.”

“That sounds interesting.”

“It really is!” There was no way Nana could hold back her grin if she wanted to. “I highly recommend it. You should read it.” She held out the book.

“Is that not the second book in the series?” Shioriko inquired.

“I have the first!” Nana wheeled around and whipped open the cabinet. “Here!” She grabbed the book and turned back to hold it out

“You’ve been using school resources to store your collection?”

Nana froze. “I… I…”

Shioriko smiled. “No need to worry, Nakagawa-san. As with your former secret concerning your identity, I shall maintain this one as well.”

“Thank you, Set… Council President,” the vice president accepted the doujin. “I can’t wait to read it.”

“We still have some time before the others arrive,” Shioriko pointed out.

“You’d be alright with us reading while you’re here?” Nana asked, finding herself surprised.

“I am quite fond of reading myself.” The younger girl responded. “Far be it for me to deny others from doing so.”

“I could recommend something for you as well.” Nana offered, getting excited again.

“Thank you, but I generally prefer novels over manga.”

“I have light novels,” Nana quickly scanned her collection. “I’d let you borrow my favorite, but I believe that one is at home… Oh, how about this one?” She pulled out a book. “It’s about a war-torn world where magic, alchemy, steam tech and high tech all coexist, and various nations specialize in certain ones and they all combine their might to protect their world from invaders from another dimension. The heroes are so~ cool! My favorite character has this high tech suit of armor that lets her fly around and shoot fire and plasma. She’s awesome!” 

Before she consciously registered her own actions, Nana was miming her Setsuna Scarlet Storm call and response motions. Wait, why was she doing that? She was Nana at the moment! She felt heat rising in her cheeks.

“That sounds amazing!” The vice president cried excitedly. “Can I read it after you, Mifune-san?”

Oh… Maybe it didn’t matter.

“I believe that would be up to Nakagawa-san,” Shioriko replied.

“It’s fine,” Nana assured. “I’d love it if you both read it so we could talk about it after.”

“Very well.” Shioriko accepted the book. “I shall return it post haste.” With that said, she moved to one of the couches, sat down and immediately began to read.

“Well, it seems we only have a few more minutes before our meeting.” The vice president glanced at the clock on the wall. “Shall we get some reading in?”

“Yes.” Nana nodded.

As she made her way to her desk, Nana’s thoughts turned to all that had just transpired. Perhaps a little crossover between Nana and Setsuna wasn’t so bad. The vice president and Shioriko seemed to have no trouble going along with it all. Surely it would be the same with her friends in the idol club, right?

With one last glance at the two readers on the couch, Nana finally opened her doujin and began to read.

---------

Omake

---------

Let’s see… Shioriko thought to herself, scanning the shelf. They’re organized by title, so it should be… Ah. She reached up and pulled out a book.

With the School Idol Festival over, Shioriko had accepted Setsuna’s invitation to join her and the vice president on a shopping trip for books. It felt a little odd buying a doujin, as she typically preferred novels, but she had read Setsuna’s copy and was immediately hooked on the story. And she couldn’t deny that the art was lovely and lent itself well to the fantasy setting. Or RPG setting, as Setsuna had insisted on calling it.

“Ooowahhaa!” An excited cry caught Shioriko’s attention. “I can’t believe it’s in stock!”

She turned to find Setsuna marveling at some school idol merchandise.

“I’ll get one too!” The vice president matched Setsuna’s enthusiasm.

Shioriko smiled and moved over to join her friends at the display to see if there was anything that might catch her eye.

---------

Author's Note Continued:

Here is the Afterward I used for the zine:

Ah, Setsuna, my favorite idol in the Nijigasaki generation of the Love Live! franchise.

As with µ’s and Aqours prior, it took me a little while to settle on a favorite from the Nijigasaki club. PDP wasn’t quite enough, and it took SIFAS, the Nijiyon comics, and a lot of fanart for me to figure things out with the group. And as with those before her, Setsuna faced stiff competition.

I honestly thought a couple of the other girls would be my favorite before I settled on her. Ultimately, it was her over-the-top passion for that which she loves that propelled her to the top.

However, it’s not enough for Setsuna to be passionate about something she loves. She needs to share that excitement. She needs to shout her love. And while performing on stage as an idol definitely allows her to do just that, she has other things than idols that she loves that she needs to address off stage. And I love that the canon material gives her friends that allow to geek out as much as she wants; many actively encourage her excitement.

I’ve written many excitable Setsuna moments, many of which include geeky rants, or at least the implication that one took place. And I plan to write many more. However, with the chapter I wrote for this zine, I decided to give Nana a chance to geek out.

The Nana/Setsuna dynamic is also one of the aspects I enjoy about the character. Her Clark Kenting around school amuses me to no end. And I love that she continued to use Nana mode even after her secret was revealed.

I’ve long wondered how Setsuna might view the two sides of herself after the big reveal, and this zine entry seemed as good an excuse as any to explore it a bit. And include some of the happy geekiness that I adore so much. And have some of my ideas drawn out by the talented myon. How could I pass up such an opportunity?

So to that, I must extend my thanks to Ethanol and myon for selecting me to participate in this project.

[nobodysdaydreams]

The Mysterious Benedict Society Liveblog Season 2 Episode 8 "A Two-Way Street"

Alright, let's just cut to my worst fear: this finale description sounds very final, and I really really hope that this is not the last season and they just couldn't get SQ's actor back or the funds to continue and are ending it right here. If that is what is happening, it's hardly the show's fault, and it won't be the first time a hyper-fixation was struck down prematurely. Who knows. Maybe this time instead of deleting my accounts and vanishing into the night, I'll actually use this account for the next fixation. I already have one that's coming back that I think some of you might like, but that's a subject for another day. I will be sad if this is the last season, but in the event that this episode throws in a cool twist that keeps me invested, I will also be giving an appropriately unhinged rant which I know is why you are all here, so either way everyone wins. On to the episode.

1:00- Ah morning, is Curtain up? Oh yikes, he's gonna wake up with a massive headache after Milligan turned the van like that.

2:00- well well well. Nicholas and Constance please their joy is too much. Wait her name is actually number in this universe? "MOM HAD BEEN BRAVE ABOUT YOUR ABANDONMENT". Okay, side note: your children, grandchildren, nieces/nephews, etc. cannot "abandon" you. You can say they decided to cut contact with you or put up boundaries. But "abandoned", really? You're the adult. Already skeptical of this family. What is with this family's names.

3:00- HAHA- not Jillson/Jackson and Jeffers fighting over authority. I love their sideplot. If the show is cancelled I will happily support their spin-off show. Oooo... "interim director" and he said it so carefully too look at Jeffers throwing fancy titles around. "Self-appointed" oooo burn.

3:20- Awe, he said he's very proud of number 2. I'm glad Nicholas is looking out for her.

4:45- "I'm gaining so much understanding" Yes that's how I feel when I meet my friend's families. Milligan gets it.

5:40- Is Reynie advocating for um... "ending Curtain"? Thank you Ms. Perumal.

6:10- speaking of, there he is fast asleep. What a weird way to wake up. PFT- inspired. "Betrayed" oh calm down Curtain. "that's beneath you" YOU DID EXPERIMENTS ON KIDS CURTAIN. "Away from the yes men" That's what I've been saying!

7:00- It feels so good, but it's bad. Nicholas does have a clear view. Is he overcoming the brain washing? Haha... "it's more like 12 miles" Curtain does do his homework.

8:00- Wait Curtain actually cares... oh no. Well, there you go Curtain. You can escape while the theme song is playing. Maybe you can find the son that you totally forgot about. Unless Nicholas is faking it to see how you react.

9:30- Lol, the mom wants grandkids. Wait "chaotic out there" are they doomsday preppers? Wow, she didn't send letters or answer calls. "new people: terrible prioritizes" YOU JUST WANT HER WORKING THE FARM. Don't like number 2's mom.

11:30- "Can I offer some observations" "mind tricks" lol

12:00- "I need you to wake up" oh Curtain is gonna lose it

12:30- "Everyone perhaps except Constance" wait if she goes back to the house, then we'll have our family reunion, we just need SQ and the whole Benedict crew is there.

13:00- "A lovely 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzle" well that should keep her busy. I love that they are showing the puzzle in the montage.

13:45- "Please I don't know what to do" "Somehow if I could convince you it was good you'd think I was good" oh yikes, this could be the last season. Curtain's redemption arc isn't due for a while. He isn't falling asleep though so he must still be holding something back.

14:50- Wow Constance has done great work on that puzzle. Honestly impressive. She really does have a gift.

15:00- They've arrived! Time for home-alone style traps. I love that the traps didn't work on Jackson and Jillson. They really should be promoted.

16:00- "you tricked me" see now he feels betrayed. "the only way to get through was if you thought you lost me" yikes. Oh, the device worked? That's actually pretty clever. "It changes nothing" "I don't believe you that was real". Awe Nicholas apologized for the blowdart.

17:00- Wow that shot where you think Curtain might try to hug him and he just moves past him to look out the window. "They're here" oh Curtain don't be so ominous only one van got through, wait where did all these people come from.

18:30- "Stand down" "I've been Possibly approaching things the wrong way". Well that is an understatement. "Blinking in code" oh my gosh Jackson. "Please discover who you are": That line was meant for SQ. I wish he was here. Oh dear, he broke them. Oh no, are Jackson and Jillson gonna start a cult? Okay Jeffers, go off.

20:30- SHE NEVER FINISHED THE PUZZLE. NO.

21:00- "Insert an electrode" "well there are worse things" it's nice to see Curtain hasn't changed much. Even as a 'good guy' he keeps his personality. I think he and Constance would get along great.

22:00- Maybe you could restore Constance's happiness by promising a third season. And no, Nicholas you make her happy. "Remember when you broke the Whisperer with your brain, good times" *cuts to Curtain* I love it.

23:20- Insulting people makes Constance happy. Very good Reynie. Get Curtain to admit he's a theater kid. That will do it. OH MY GOSH NICHOLAS' MONOLOGUE, BAH HA HA- Curtain's like "ok Nicky, a bit much".

26:00- "Thank you for saying goodbye before you abandon us again" ma'am please get help for your abandonment issues, do not project them onto children.

26:30- Okay so Curtain is unfreezing his followers. Is he gonna finally see his son again? OR MENTION HIM? HELLO? Honestly, I think Curtain might have also faked (or understated) his redemption since Nicholas faked his brain-washing. And Curtain didn't fall asleep. Don't think I missed that.

27:45- Awe they're wrapping all the little conflicts up. Except SQ's. Yes I'm still mad. Don't play the happy music, that boy could be at the bottom of a well right now. He could be frozen. Well, I guess that doesn't matter because they won a wood-cutting competition and Sticky wrote Reynie a letter.

29:30- YES THEY ADOPTED THE ALPACA. Who knows what happened to SQ, but at least the alpaca made it out ok. Also, Constance's letter is fantastic.

30:00- Is she going to be adopted now? Oh, we're doing this? We're getting Constance's parents? Season 3 let's go!

30:30- "well I look 46" okay Curtain. "joining the society". Perfect, now we can have the Curtain/Constance banner I want- wait. WAIT WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

Uh oh, looks like the director saw the fourth season of Sherlock and was like "oh I want to do that, but better, like actually develop it. Maybe that will distract from the fact that SQ's actor stormed off the set". THAT's IT?

Well, consider me fully re-invested. I have so so so many thoughts and will be blogging like mad the next few days so be prepared.

But for starters, why is Curtain not in jail? Redemption is nice but he still kidnapped and brain-washed people and ran experiments on children. Maybe I should give an emotional speech to the cops about family and learning lessons next time I get pulled over and they'll let me drive off without a ticket.

Also, is SQ at college? I swear they'll get the actor back for like season 5, and be like "he was in art school the whole time". (I actually have multiple theories on how he comes back into the plot, will be making posts)

Anyway, that's all. Must dash. Hope you enjoyed!

[danceswithsporks]

On the second day of Bad Batchmas I gave to all of yooouuuu!!

Tech loosing his gloooooves!

I’ve decided to write little snippets as we wait for the boys to return from getting milk. Err…Season 2.

Now this will take place in the universe I’ve built for my fic A Star Above the Rest! Some may be sneak peaks at future events, little glimpses into past events, or things I wanted to do but couldn’t work into the story! I hope you all enjoy them and Happy Holidays!

Day 2 of the 12 days of Bad Batchmas: Tech looses his gloves.

“You checked the training room?” Zirena sat on one of the tables in the guys barracks. Watching the analytical clone rip the place apart in search of his gloves.

“Yes.”

“The showers?”

“Yes.”

“Marauder?”

“Of course.”

Tipping her head from side to side in thought, Zirena tried to think of where else the gloves could be. “Laundry room?”

An annoyed sigh came from Tech as he closed Wreckers trunk. “First place.”

“Oh.” Well she was honestly out of ideas at this point. “Guess that means we just have to get you new ones.” Jumping off the table, the Jedi walked over to Tech before stretching. “Sounds like a trip to Coruscant is in order.” Thanks to Padme, she’d really developed a taste for shopping.

Tech didn’t exactly like the idea of just giving up on finding them. He made a face to Zirena as she picked up her robe and pulled it on. “Perhaps we should look through everything once more?”

“Tech. We’ve checked three times now. They’re not here.” Shrugging, she picked up his datapad and passed it to him. “I came back here for us to update BD together. I only have today to do that. We can get you new gloves.”

In his panic to find his gloves, he’d completely forgotten why Zirena was even there. How much time had they wasted looking for them? Taking the datapad from her he checked and groaned. He’d wasted over four hours looking. “I don’t exactly get paid as nicely as you do, Representative. I’d much rather find those gloves before using a large portion of my pay for a new pair.”

“I’ll get them. Count them as a thank you for teaching me how to do BDs maintenance myself.” Credits were surprisingly no longer an issue for her and she really didn’t mind spending said money on her friends.

“I guess that would be acceptable.” Chewing his lip as he followed her out of the room, Tech found that he couldn’t stop from thinking about the gloves.

-*-

“I’m really excited to try this Zipline upgrade! We could try that wire that goes between this platform and platform 3?” Zirena couldn’t stop the giggle coming from her. “Just don’t tell Rex.”

“Uh huh.”

Zirena stopped and looked at him, was he even listening? “Yeah I figured I could do it naked, give everyone a good show.”

Tech continued to look through his datapad for any clue as to where he may have left the gloves. “Sounds fun.”

“Yeah and whoever catches me, I’ll fuck.” Now she waited to see if he caught what she said.

“That a great ide-“ Tech looked up at Zirena in utter shock of what she had said. “What?”

“Took you long enough.” Crossing her arms, she waited for an explanation.

“Sorry, it seems I was lost in thought.” The way she was looking at him let him know that she had been joking.

“The gloves?” When he nodded to her, she sighed softly. “Tell me why these gloves are so important?” She’d never seen any of the others this worried over gloves.

“When I was still a cadet, I always left my gloves in odd places. The training room, the droid maintenance hatch, even the refresher.” Smiling at the memory coming forward, he continued to speak. “General Shaak Ti was constantly getting requisition forms from me for new gloves. I guess I hit my limit at some point because she approached me one day with a gift. Inside was a pair of gloves unlike the others.”

“The gloves you lost?”

Tech nodded as they continued down the hallway. “You may have noticed they feel different from the others, and weigh differently as well. That’s because they’re made out of a non conductive material that protects my hands from shocks. They’re also made to breathe so my hands don’t become sweaty. They had to have set her back by a lot.”

“That’s sweet of her to buy you gloves though.” Master Shaak Ti was always kind like that. She looked out for everyone and cared deeply.

“It was. I’ve always been careful about placing them down. I don’t wish to lose them since they hold so much value to me.” Losing them would be like losing a dear friend. Not many clones received gifts from the Togruta Jedi Master.

Zirena stopped outside her suite door and began to put in her code. “I’m sure they’ll turn up soon. Usually these things appear when you stop looking for them.”

Perhaps she was right. Perhaps it would be wise to take a break and look later. “You’re right. For now, let’s take a look at the droid.”

The sound of her door sliding open filled the room and for a moment it was silent and dark. Then the lights flipped on and BD stood on the kitchen island. A little box was in front of him and the droid happily whistled at the sight of Tech. “Surprise!” Zirenas bright smile filled the room as other came out of hiding.

“W-what?” Tech looked at his brothers as they smiled or smirked at him. Cross sat in the windowsill watching the group while Hunter, Echo, Rex, and Wrecker approached the two.

“It’s a surprise party! For you!” Omega bounced excitedly on the couch, a bar of Chandrilian chocolate in her hand.

How much candy had she had? The poor child looked like her eyes would bust out of her skull. “For me? Why?”

“To thank you for everything you do for us.” Zirena smiled as she carried the box over to Tech, BD on her shoulder whistling a tune.

“You keep our gear constantly upgraded with the latest tech. The ship is always running at her best.” Hunter placed a proud hand on his brother's shoulder.

“Don’t forget all the cool stuff he makes us!” Wrecker grabbed Omega right before she dove off the couch. “Woah, maybe you should cut back on the sugar.”

Zirenas laugh filled the room as everyone watched Omega. The poor girl was no doubt riding a sugar high. “You do so much for everyone, it’s only right we celebrate that. As a way of saying thank you.” Holding the package out to him, she smiled excitedly. “Open it.”

“You didn’t need to do this.” He never put too much thought into helping everyone. They were his family, his friends. Helping them helped everyone in the long run. But he accepted the gift graciously before opening it. Inside sat his gloves, though they looked better then they’d looked before. “I don’t understand.”

“We had them cleaned, restitched, patched and the lining redone.” Echo smiled as Tech pulled them on. His fingers flexed a few times to test the material. “How do they feel?”

Tech loved how they felt “Amazing, like new. How did you even manage to get them?”

It was Omegas turn to speak and she made sure it was known. “I” was screamed loudly as she tried to climb up Wrecker's arms. “Grabbed them when you were daydreaming about Zirena after Echo showed you that picture of her at the beach!” A hand was clamped over her mouth as Hunter tried to silence her.

A stifled laugh came from Zirena as Techs face became red. Rex couldn’t stop his eyebrow from going up at the new information. “From when the five oh and the two twelfth went on leave?”

“Yeah!” Omega had pulled Hunters hand down to quickly speak. “Fives sent Echo photos of all of you! But all of their favorite is the one of Zirena sunbathing!”

Whoever said having a sister was a blessing, obviously never had actually survived with a young sister. Tech sighed as Zirena giggled more. “It’s not what you think, Sir.” His eyes looked at Rex, hoping the Captain wasn’t angry.

“ I liked that outfit.” Was pured to Zirena by Rex. “You looked damn good in it. Next time we’ll make sure the batch is invited.”

“Oh that would be so much fun!” Zirena smiled at Tech. “Glad to know you liked it too.” With a wink she stepped over and picked his hand up to inspect the gloves. “Just maybe don’t bring these, don’t wanna get sand all over them.”

Tech chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, would rather these not get ruined so quickly.” Reaching over he pulled the Jedi into a tight hug. “Thanks, Zee.” Pulling away he looked at the others. “Thanks all of you. But if you ever take my gloves like that again, I’ll share all of your search histories.”

[stargazer-sims]

The Transition

They find Ichiro Nishijima in the corridor that leads to the rink area. He isn’t doing anything, just standing there, and Nikolai gets the distinct sense that he’s been waiting for them. He doesn’t look pleased to see them as they emerge into the hallway.

Eden is clinging to Nikolai‘s hand. He moves as if he intends to walk right past Nishijima, but one of the benefits of their contact is that Nikolai can prevent him from doing that. He squeezes Eden’s fingers firmly, not so much for reassurance, but to remind him of what he needs to do. Nikolai would rather not have this conversation with Nishijima either, and he thinks he gets how Eden feels, but they cannot avoid it.

Eden fidgets, and Nikolai glances sideways at him. The young skater is smiling nervously. Anyone who doesn't know him well might mistake the expression for politeness or deference, but after so much time together, Nikolai can recognize it for what it is. He’s gotten good at reading all of Eden's body language over the years. His boy is terrified, no question, and he can't help wondering what it is about Ichiro Nishijima that inspires so much fear in Eden. What have the past three months really been like?

Ichiro: Here you are. I shouldn't be surprised.

Nikolai: Excuse me?

Ichiro: You are Nikolai Pavlenko, are you not? Back-to-back World Championship gold medalist, but never made it to the Olympics. Retired from competition at twenty-seven due to a serious injury.

Nikolai: You researched me.

Ichiro: I assume you also researched me.

Nikolai: I did, actually.

Ichiro: I research everyone I consider to be serious competition, skaters and coaches alike. It's not enough to know this one would have been a serious contender this season. I wanted to know who got him there.

Nishijima gestures at Eden as he says 'this one', like he doesn't know his name, or perhaps can't bring himself to say it. Nikolai doesn't like his turn of phrase about competition, either. It's as if, somewhere in Nishijima's mind, he's still Ren Kitagawa's coach and Eden was never his student at all.

Nikolai: What do you mean, Eden would have been a contender this season? He's going to be.

Ichiro: Not if he continues to skate the way he's been doing so far. I've seen better performances from children in the junior division.

Nikolai folds his arms across his body in a self-calming gesture, willing himself to hold his anger in check. There are a thousand possible replies he could make to this man standing in front of him, but most of them would just lead to an argument.

Nikolai: Mr. Nishijima, with all due respect—

Eden: Kolya, can we go, please? Can we just... tell him he's fired and get out of here?

Ichiro: Pardon me?

Eden: *whispering* I... I can't say it again. Please.

Ichiro: Fired. Just like that. Well, I suppose I should've seen this coming. You weren't serious at all about training with me, were you? All you were doing was wasting my time while you were keeping yourself in shape and waiting for him to get here.

Eden: No, I wasn't! I didn't think Nikolai was coming at all. I came to Japan with my brother, and I approached you because I thought you could give me what I needed. I really did want to train with you, but... but it hasn't been what I imagined, and I... I don't think it's working out.

Ichiro: At least we agree on that.

Nikolai: I think what Eden is trying to say is that the two of you aren't compatible as coach and student. He needs a much gentler approach.

Ichiro: And by that, I presume you mean I should be expected to baby him? If he wants to be coddled and have his hand held, I suggest he should find a new occupation, because there's no place for that at this level of competition. We are here to win, and I take it very seriously. I'm in the business of training champions, Mr. Pavlenko, not in the business of babysitting.

Nikolai: Have you produced any champions recently?

It's a low blow, and he knows it even before the sentence has left his mouth, but he can't help himself. He barely knows the other coach, and yet he's already developed an intense dislike for him, for his arrogance and condescension.

Nishijima stares at him, and if looks could kill, Nikolai would already be dead. He doesn't break eye contact with Nishijima, though. Under no circumstances will he allow this man to intimidate him.

When Nishijima is silent for what Nikolai estimates is far too long, he rashly adds salt to the wound he's sure he caused. It's mean. It's not like him. But, the urge to injure Nishijima in a similar way to how he'd so obviously hurt Eden is too strong for him to resist. He doesn't really care to resist, if he's being honest.

Nikolai: If you researched me, then you know two of my skaters won medals at Skate Canada last year. One of my girls won bronze in the junior division and Eden won gold in senior. And of course you know how Eden did at the Worlds last season, don't you? You were there. Your Ren placed fifth, as I recall.

Ichiro: Ren had an injury last season. This was meant to be his year.

Nikolai: It was meant to be, until it was cut short by the unfortunate incident with that snowboarder. Did any of your research tell you that was likely to happen?

Ichiro: Are you mocking me?

Nikolai: Not at all. I'm only trying to make a point.

Ichiro: Which is?

Nikolai: Research and statistics and the like can only take you so far. Not everything is about precision and control. If you want to succeed, you have to form real connections with people and consider the human element.

Ichiro: Now you're presuming to tell me how to do my job?

Nikolai: You're forgetting that it's also my job. You may have been doing it longer than me, but I'd like to think I've learned a few things that you haven't.

Nishijima's face reddens, and he draws in a breath. It doesn't take towering intellect to realize what's coming.

Ichiro: You dare to say that to me? You insolent young bast—

He doesn't get to finish. Nikolai has had enough.

Nikolai: Do not raise your voice to me, sir! I don't care who you are. I won't tolerate that from anyone, and I won't have you shouting in front of Eden. He's heard enough shouting from you for one day.

Ichiro: How dare you? You stroll in here like you own the place, you provoke me, and you expect me not to be angry?

Nikolai: No. I think you were angry before you even spoke to me, and I think that's entirely justified. I might feel the same way if I were in your place, but what I wouldn't do is take it out on my students or the other people around me. You aren't going to win any friends or allies that way.

Ichiro: I have no wish to be your friend, Mr. Pavlenko, believe me.

Nikolai: No, I didn't imagine you did. You might've benefitted from having me as an ally though, and I think I was hoping for the same in return. We might've learned from each other, but if that doesn't interest you...

Ichiro: What makes you think I would even consider such a thing, after the way you've comported yourself in front of me?

Nikolai: You… No, you know what? You're right.

Ichiro: I... pardon me?

Nikolai: I'm not handling this the way I wanted to at all. I wanted to set a good example for Eden, and I thought we could both do this like professionals, but obviously we can't. Not now, anyway. We're both too upset. Nothing's going to get resolved like this.

Ichiro: What is there to resolve? Mr. Seong has made it perfectly clear he no longer wants me to coach him. I think that's resolution enough.

Eden: I, um... I'm not handling this the way I wanted to either. There was... other stuff I thought I could say, but...

Nikolai: Come here to me, Eden. You can say what you want to say. Can't he, Mr. Nishijima?

Ichiro: *sighing* If he must.

Nikolai: It's okay, Eden. Go on.

Eden: Mr. Nishijima, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. About Ren, I mean. I realize you probably miss him a lot, and that I can't ever live up to him. Like, not for you, at least. But... but I'm not him, and I need you to understand that. I'm myself, and... I don't know. I just wanted you to see...

At this point, Eden stops talking. He lowers his head to Nikolai's shoulder and makes a small whimpering sound. Nikolai guesses from the intensity with which Eden grips his arm that he's trying to hold back more tears.

Nishijima regards Eden as if he's really noticing him for the first time that day.

Ichiro: What did you want me to see that I haven't already seen from you?

Eden: I... I wanted you to see me for who I am. I have what it takes to win, and I needed you to see that. Maybe what I can do is different than what Ren could do, but that's okay, right? The goal is still the same, but I needed you to see that the way to get there isn't the same for me as it was for him. I really did want to train with you at first, but it was too hard, and not because I'm not capable or because I need to be babied or whatever. It was because you never tried to understand how to help me, and I didn't know how to tell you.

This time, when he finishes, he is well and truly crying. That speech must've taken a lot of effort, Nikolai thinks, and it absolutely took courage. He's momentarily overwhelmed with pride for the bravery and resilience of his student, and he wants nothing more than to pull Eden in for a hug to comfort him. Of course, he can't do that with Nishijima watching. He wants to protect Eden's dignity in the face of this cold, hard-edged man who's trampled on it so much already.

Ichiro: That's... something to think about, I suppose.

Nikolai: I hope you think about it, and if you seriously want to have another top-tier student in the future, I highly suggest you do.

Ichiro: I think we're done here, Mr. Pavlenko.

Nikolai: Yes, for now. I would like to meet with you when we're both in a calmer frame of mind, though. I'd like to go over what you and Eden have already worked on for this season, and review the video of his performances from the last competition. We'll have a lot to discuss, no doubt.

Ichiro: I have nothing more to say to you.

Nikolai: I'll call you in a few days, to see if you've changed your mind. Eden has your number?

Ichiro: He does.

Nikolai: Good. I'll be in touch. Eden, are you ready to go home?

Eden: *sniffling* Yeah, and I don't ever want to come back here again.

Nikolai: We'll revisit that in the morning, once you've had a nice meal and a long rest and perhaps some good news from your brother. Okay?

Eden: Okay, but if I do come back tomorrow, can we just skate for fun? No routines or anything?

Nikolai: We can. After all this, I think you deserve a day of fun.

[singledarkshade]

Flashback

Summary: In order to retrieve a tablet, Daniel travels into his past. Where he finds himself with a chance to get back what he lost.

Author’s Note: I didn't watch much of Season 9 or 10 as I didn't take to the new characters so their characters may not be right. This is completed so all chapters will posted soon. Enjoy.

                             *********************************************

Chapter One

Daniel sat staring at the set of tablets in front of him, he’d been working on them since coming back from P4R 667. With the Asgard now gone, the legacy they had bequeathed to the SGC meant there was suddenly a wealth of technology and planets open to them, on one of them they had found the five tablets that may lead them to the Furlings, the one race they hadn’t run into since they’d opened the Gate.

Something was trying to capture his attention, but it was almost 2 am and he had been up for almost forty hours straight. With a long sigh, Daniel decided he needed to sleep. Pulling himself out his chair, he turned off the light in his office, locking it and then staggered to the room he always used whenever he slept at the base. Throwing his jacket onto the nearest chair then pulling off his boots, Daniel just lay on top of the bed fully clothed and fell asleep almost instantly.

As he slept visions of sand and laughter filled his dreams, long dark hair, soft brown eyes and…

“The tablet!!!”

Sitting up suddenly, Daniel groaned in annoyance as he realised what he’d been trying to remember all night.

This was not good.

~

“Dr Jackson,” Landry stated the next day, “What progress have you made with the tablets?”

Daniel took a quick drink of coffee before explaining, “I’m getting through them, but there is a missing one which completes the set. And it’s the central part of the information.”

“So,” Mitchell noted, “It’s nothing.”

“Not exactly,” Daniel replied, “There is information on there we can use. However I have seen the missing tablet before.”

Vala perked up at his side, “A mission? Because it’s been days since we went anywhere fun.”

“Unfortunately, I saw it on Abydos,” Daniel continued ignoring her.

“Which no longer exists,” Teal’c said softly.

Sam looked at him thoughtfully, “Do you remember what it said?”

Daniel winced, “A little but it’s been over a decade, so I don’t know if that is accurate.”

“But you have another idea,” Mitchell noted.

Nodding Daniel told them, “With the Asgard technology we’ve acquired, I can go back to Abydos and steal it from myself.”

They all stared at him.

“Won’t that change time?” Mitchell asked finally.

“No,” Daniel told him, “Because I originally lost the tablet during a sandstorm.” He stopped not intending to give more detail but at the looks he was getting knew he had to, “Sha’re and I were having lunch outside a cave when it started. We gathered everything up, but somehow that was missed. I was so annoyed because even though I couldn’t read it at the time, I hoped to someday be able to.”

Landry thought this over for a moment before asking, “What’s your plan?”

“I know where we were when I lost the tablet,” Daniel stated, “There is a cavern nearby that I can wait in until then. Once my past self and Sha’re take shelter, I’ll retrieve the tablet before it gets lost in the sand.”

“Just like that?” Mitchell asked.

Daniel nodded, “I can use the cloak to hide myself and it should protect me from the sand for the few minutes I need to retrieve the tablet.”

Landry mused for several minutes before nodding, “Agreed.”

“I’ll come too,” Vala chirped.

“No,” Daniel stated, “I know exactly where I’m going, as well as what I’m waiting for. More than one person could be conspicuous.”

“You can’t go alone,” Sam told him, wincing at the glare he sent her way, “Perhaps Vala could wait in the ship, in case you need to be pulled out quickly.”

“It can be set to an automatic return using voice activation,” Daniel reminded his friend.

“However,” Landry stated, “It is best that you do not go alone.”

“Teal’c?” Daniel asked hopefully.

Vala let out an annoyed squeak.

“Unfortunately,” Teal’c said, “I am due to work with SG6 on their next mission.”

Daniel turned desperately to Sam, “Feel like a trip?”

“Sorry, Daniel,” she replied, “I’m due back to the Hammond in a few hours.”

“And I’m heading out in an hour with the new training team,” Mitchell added.

Vala beamed, “Then it’s a trip for two.”

Daniel grimaced.

“I’m afraid you have no other choice, Dr Jackson,” Landry stated, “Be ready to leave in two hours.”

~

“Daniel.”

He grimaced and turned to where Sam was walking towards him.

“Look,” she said, “I know you’re not happy about this, but you also know that you can’t go on a mission alone.”

“But Vala?” he demanded, “I have so few memories of Abydos, I don’t want them tainted by her.”

“That’s unfair,” Sam stated, “She’s there to pull you out if…” she paused, “Daniel, I know you still miss Sha’re and you will be going somewhere that you could…”

“I could change the past and save her,” Daniel stated, “You don’t have to worry, Sam, I know the danger of doing that. I’m going to get the tablet, that’s all.”

Sam winced slightly, “I know you believe that, but the fact is your history with Abydos, with its people…”

“With my wife,” he cut her off again, “Sam, I’m grateful you worry about me, but you don’t have to. Changing history could make things worse, for all of us and, Sha’re would never agree to me doing that.”

Sam stepped forward and hugged him, “Try not to let Vala annoy you too much.”

Daniel sighed, “If I murder her, it’s your fault.”

                             *********************************************

Abydos.

Home.

Daniel stood just outside the cave, enjoying the heat seeping into his bones. Something he hadn’t felt in so long, as he looked across the sands of his adopted world stretching out before him. Although he was cloaked, he was wearing the robes made by his wife that he kept stored in his closet, so he blended in if the cloak failed, but also because they were more practical for the planet. That was the reason he’d given anyway.

So lost in the sensation of being home after such a long time, the laughter coming towards him made Daniel jump in surprise.

Ensuring the cloak was on hiding him from sight, Daniel watched his younger self walking over the sands, carrying a bag that held his notes, the tablet as well as food and water while he carried a bedroll in his arms, Sha’re walking at his side carrying a bag holding her own writings. They were heading to the cartouche room to study and spend the night there.

Daniel’s hand went to his hair, wondering when he’d decided that keeping it short was a good idea but before he could think it over properly, Sha’re pushed her hood back and his heart skipped.

He’d only had one picture of her and his fading memories for so long now, suddenly she was flesh and blood before him. Her black curls unruly as always, her brown eyes sparkling with amusement and her smile making the sunny day somehow even brighter.

Realising he was about to do something stupid; Daniel turned and entered the other cave but when he dropped the cloak, he didn’t realise that he wasn’t completely through the entrance and was spotted.

~

Standing in the cave which held so much history for him, Daniel tried to remain focussed on stealing the tablet.

“What are you doing in here?” Sha’re’s sharp voice made him freeze, “You know Dan’iel does not like people in here alone. You could damage something.”

Daniel winced but he didn’t move.

“I’m bringing you up,” Vala’s voice came in his ear, but Daniel activated the dampener so she couldn’t get a lock, hearing her swear at him.

“I am not going to ask again,” Sha’re’s annoyed voice came, and he could feel her just behind him.

Slowly he turned and Sha’re let out a shocked gasp, taking a step back as she looked at him. An older version of her husband.

“Dan’iel?” she asked before shaking her head in fear, “No, you cannot be. This is a trick. Ra has returned to take his revenge.

“Sha’re,” Daniel caught her hands, “Look at me, I promise this is me. I’m not Ra, this is strange I know but I’m your Daniel. Just from a future time.”

She stared at him, her eyes locking with his and looking into his eyes, she calmed.

Sha’re reached out to touch his cheek, “I don’t understand but it is you. My husband, yet you are in the other cave going through your notes.”

Relieved that she was giving him the chance to explain, Daniel licked his lips and moved her to sit, “I’m from many years from now. And as much as we love it here, we leave Abydos at some point,” he paused, words sticking in his throat as he wanted to tell her everything, to change her fate, he knew he couldn’t. Finally, he managed to say, “There’s so much I can’t tell you, but there is so much to learn out there. There are other beings who are advanced, but unlike Ra, they are our friends. There are some bad things but also so many wonderous things out there through the Stargate.”

“That sounds incredible,” Sha’re said before asking, “So why are you back here?”

“You know the tablet I found in the mine last week?”

She rolled her eyes, “You are obsessed with it.”

“Sorry, I know how annoying that must be for you,” Daniel apologised.

Sha’re laughed softly, “You would not be you otherwise.”

“Well, I now know what it means, and I need it to find something important,” he said, “But when the sandstorm that is about to blow in hits, I’ll lose it when we’re gathering up everything from our lunch outside.”

She tilted her head thoughtfully, “You are here to retrieve it before it is lost to the sand without the other you knowing this.”

Daniel nodded, smiling at how quickly she understood.

“I will get it for you,” she told him.

“Sha’re…”

She caught his hand, and Daniel instantly trailed off stunned by the electricity sparking along his spine at her touch.

“I will take the tablet,” Sha’re told him, “And bring it to you after the storm ends.”

Daniel stared at her, “Why?”

“Because you told me it is important,” Sha’re replied with a shrug.

Taking a slow deep breath, Daniel said, “I’ll be here after the storm tomorrow. All you have to do is leave it where I can find it.”

“No,” she stated, “I will hand it to you, so I know that you have it.”

“Sha’re…”

“You have said this is important,” she reminded him, “I want to ensure that you did not come here and not get what you came for.”

He smiled at her and without thought leaned closer, catching himself at the last second and simply pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Sha’re stood and headed out the cave, he watched her leave and continued to stare at the spot she had been even after she was gone.

“You can bring me up now,” Daniel finally said deactivating the dampener.

~

Vala was glaring at him when he was transported up to the ship. Ignoring her, Daniel headed to get a drink of water.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she snapped, “Or did you just come here to see her?”

Anger boiled in him, but Daniel pushed it down, he wasn’t going to fight about this.

“If I’d simply disappeared,” Daniel stated, keeping his voice even, “She would have called the past version of me and that would have changed what they did. Likely making it impossible for me to get the tablet not to mention changing the future.”

“And this won’t?”

“No,” Daniel stated with conviction, “I know Sha’re. She’ll give me the tablet and will never tell past me what happened.” As Vala continued to frown, Daniel sighed, “If I wanted to change things I would have told her about Apophis, what’s going to happen and how to avoid it. It kills me that I can’t.”

She reached out to apologise and Daniel pulled away. He wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m going to look over some things while we’re waiting for the sandstorm to pass.”

~

Daniel sat and read over some more of the Asgard files that were in the database, trying to keep his mind off the fact that the love of his life, his reason for living for years, the woman he missed every day, was alive on the planet below. He smiled as he thought back to the day that his past self was currently living, after running inside to protect themselves from the storm, Sha’re had set up the bed roll in the corner while he fixed the rest of the food and drink in the coolest section of the cavern.

Sighing, Daniel thought back to the moment Sha’re slid her arms around his waist when he turned to her and kissed him. They didn’t get much work done that afternoon, but he didn’t care.

The year he’d lived on Abydos had been the happiest of his life. He’d been in love with Sha’re within hours of knowing her and, it had only deepened the more time he spent with her. He would have done anything for her.

Except he couldn’t.

He couldn’t save her, then or now.

Even if he tried to stop her being taken by the Gould, Sha’re would not be happy with him for changing things that could hurt people without consulting her and make him put things back to the way they should be.

She cared more about everyone else than she did about herself, she had volunteered to be the bride of the messenger of Ra because as the Chief Elders daughter she was most valuable and wanted to protect her friends.

At least this gave him a few more memories of her.

                             *********************************************

“Here,” Sha’re handed Daniel a small woven bag when she appeared in the cave early the next morning, “I placed the tablet inside, so that the other Dan’iel did not see I had taken it.”

Smiling at her thinking, Daniel took the bag being careful not to touch her, “Thank you. And the other me didn’t ask where you were going?”

She shrugged, “He is still sleeping.”

Daniel chuckled at the innocent look she gave him; one he remembered so well, knowing exactly why his past self was still fast asleep. He gave her another soft smile before getting ready to say goodbye to her.

“Dan’iel,” she stopped him before he could speak, “Where you are from, are we still together?”

Reaching out, Daniel rested his hand on her cheek, “You are still the last thing I see each night and the first thing I see each morning. I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”

She smiled at him before moving closer and touching her lips to his. Daniel tried to hold back but, it had been so long since he’d been kissed by his wife, so long since he’d been able to kiss her, and he deepened it holding her close to him.

They parted and Daniel kept his arms around her waist tightly, “I love you so much. I am so lucky that you agreed to be my wife.”

“I love you too, my Dan’iel,” Sha’re gently brushed her lips to his cheek before stepping back, “I must return to the other you before he misses me. I promise I will never tell what happened here until you tell me you recall.”

He nodded and watched her leave, relieved he hadn’t allowed the tears he’d felt threatening him to fall. He couldn’t change what was about to happen, but he could ensure she was happy until then.

~

The moment he beamed up to the ship, Daniel headed to the small room he was using both so he could check the tablet and avoid talking to Vala while his emotions were raw.

He trusted Sha’re had given him the right thing, but he knew he had to confirm they could leave and to ensure his memory had been accurate.

Gently lifting the tablet out the bag, Daniel smiled to see he had been right and gently brushed his hand across it. To his surprise, he spotted a folded piece of paper sitting half inside the bag. Opening it, Daniel instantly recognised Sha’re’s handwriting smiling to see the mix of English and Abydonian she’d always written in.

My Dearest Daniel,

I sit here while your past self sleeps, thinking of all you told me.

Since I met you, I have seen so much that I believed at first to be magic, but your appearance today is the thing that has surprised me most. I am writing this because I know you will try to reassure me no matter what the truth is when I ask.

You tried not to show it, but I could see in your eyes that we have not been together in a long time. Knowing how much I love you and the way you looked at me, I can only believe that at some point I shall die before you come back here.

I do not know if it is tomorrow, next week, or several years from now, but I promise that I will love you the same even though I know this.

I was originally given to you as a gift, but you, my darling husband, you were a gift to me. You know how scared I was that my husband would make demands of me, but you never did. You asked if I wanted to be married to you, you let me take things as slowly as I needed, and my happiest moments are being in your arms.

You taught me things I could never imagine, and you always wanted to learn everything you could. I do not know if I will never laugh as much as I did the day you tried to grind flour, but you were so happy learning something new.

I never knew I could love anyone the way I love you.

Never forget this.

Your wife,

Sha’re

Finishing the letter, Daniel felt his tears slide down his face.

He continued to stare at the letter, seeing a small imprint showing that Sha’re had kissed the paper, there were also a few strands of her long black hair that must have been caught when she pushed her hair out her face when writing. He remembered watching her doing it, the small noise of irritation she made each time had always made him smile. After a while he would push her hair back for her, kiss the side of her neck, she sometimes would push him away with a laugh while other times pull him close.

Taking a deep breath, Daniel ensured the tablet was safely stored before he tucked the letter into his pocket, reverently folding the bag and placing it in with his clothes.

He took a few deep breaths before heading up to the bridge to return them home.

Part Two

[cinderella-ish]

Fic Recs: Short Stories Part 2 (2000-4500 words)

august, by reconquer M | Kakeru/Yuki | smut “I’m hungry,” Kakeru says. “What about you?” “I guess I could eat,” Yuki mutters. “Well, good,” Kakeru grins. “Because it’s your turn to cook.”

Caged, by nafragous G | Tohru/Kyo, Kyo & Yuki | angst After all this time, Kyo Sohma could never defeat the rat. Now, he has to be caged for the rest of eternity.

did you know that frogs don't have ribs or diaphragms, by yunsohno E | Kakeru/Yuki | smut Yuki and Kakeru have sex. And then they talk about frogs.

Eating Out With Your Wife, and Other Spousal Pleasures, by inheritanceofgeek E | Tohru/Kyo | humor & smut Kyo and Tohru have been married for six months and their relationship has never been stronger or more fulfilling. Yet their previous ignorance to sex means that some things just never occur to them... Luckily for Kyo, his new Dojo just happens to have a happily married lesbian woman visiting who is more than happy to pass on some advice on the subject.

Furedi, by me T | Gen (ensemble cast) | fluff & humor When his younger cousins come over to watch Mogeta, Shigure finally tells Kyo the true nature of Jason, just in time to invent a new threat in the surrounding woods: Freddy.

Goodnight Kyo, by NovaInTheBasement T | Tohru/Kyo, Kyo & Yuki | angst & hurt/comfort "Wait... this can't be happening. It's wrong. It's... all wrong."

Heaven, by vylias E | Tohru/Kyo | smut Tohru swallowed before slowly sliding herself off of Kyo’s lap and down onto the floor in front of the couch. Nestling herself in between his legs, she held his eyes as he watched her start to reach for his belt. Then she saw his breath catch and realization dawn on his face.

Heisei's Dusk, by Geoduck T | Kyo/Yuki, Tohru/Momiji, Tohru & Kyo & Yuki | fluff Twenty years to the day after Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, and Momiji's trip to the Sohma hot spring back in their high school days. In commemoration, that quartet goes to the hot spring again.

If I Ever Feel Better, by reconquer M | Kakeru/Yuki | slice of life & smut “You can crash here, it’s not a big deal.” “You seem too happy about this,” Yuki mutters. “Of course! I get to have a sleepover with my best buddy.” Kakeru winks at him and Yuki kicks the inside of his thigh again. Like he said. Hell

i'll come closer to you (if you come over), by littlerosette T | Tohru/Kyo | pining Tohru goes for a swim. Kyo's unlucky enough to catch her.

i wanna ruin our friendship (we should be lovers instead) by bloodyhalefire T | Kakeru/Yuki | romance Kakeru isn’t an idiot. Sure, he’s awful at some things and is occasionally a bit slow on the uptake, but he isn’t an idiot; he knows what touch starved looks like, and Yuki is the fucking blueprint. So he sets out to fix it.

Kyo's Second Biggest Secret, by DerpyArtist101 G | Tohru/Kyo | hurt/comfort & slice of life Kyo Sohma has felt like a guy since he was a kid, and while he's able to pass without trouble, that doesn't stop his body from continuing to put him through hell once a month. Now, Tohru's starting to notice something is off.

Learn How to Knock, by BringBackMaes14 E | Tohru/Kyo | smut Tohru lives in a house with three guys, and she's hardcore crushing on Kyo. She uses what little privacy she can get to "take care" of herself, but it's not unusual for one of the boys to burst in when she needs them least. Or perhaps, most.

must be love on the brain, by littlerosette T | Tohru/Kyo | pining Tohru has a secret admirer. Everyone reacts to it accordingly. Except Kyo.

Nightmares, by Modzy78 T | Tohru/Kyo | angst & hurt/comfort Tohru Honda can't remember a time she didn't have nightmares. But this one is unlike any she's had before.

Open Season, by reconquer T | Kakeru/Yuki | fluff yuki gets trashed and spills the beans

Orgasm Struggles, by fishcalledwanda E | Tohru/Kyo | smut Tohru has never had an orgasm before. Kyo explores several ways to increase her pleasure, but eventually, it is Hanajima who comes to the rescue.

Quality Shrimp Time, by ConvenientAlias T | Tohru/Kyo/Momiji | fluff Momiji asks Kyo and Tohru out and things sort of spiral from there.

student council naptime blues, by a-bigail T | Kakeru/Yuki | pining Kakeru, for once, isn't very tired. Yuki is strangely exhausted. Kakeru tries to help, and is faced with some wayward feelings.

tears falling like snow, by sunflowerstarfruit G | Kakeru/Yuki | hurt/comfort & pining Yuki has a panic attack at school. Kakeru finds him.

tights and mascara, by sacrificialParsnip T | Gen - Ayame & Yuki (background Kakeru/Yuki) In which Yuki comes out to his brother and it goes about as well as one might expect.

Trust Only Blue, by reconquer G | Kakeru/Yuki | hurt/comfort Yuki’s hands are shaking.

We Go On Walks, by yukiawison G | Kakeru/Yuki | romance Kakeru thinks he’s cursed, sometimes. He’s cursed to keep wanting things he can’t have. He wants Machi to say more than four words to him at a time. He wants his mother to stop pestering him about college. And he wants Yuki.

If you want to stay up to date, here’s a link to my (tagging still in progress) bookmarks tagged with a wordcount of 1000-5000.

[haroldgross]

New Post has been published on Harold Gross: The 5a.m. Critic

New Post has been published on https://literaryends.com/hgblog/3-body-problem/

3 Body Problem

[3.5 stars]

TL;DR: An interesting interpretation that isn’t all I’d hoped but which picked up aspects the previous adaptation didn’t. But I am hooked and want to see where they take it all now that they’ve set up what really interested them in the story. So, yes, you should see it. It isn’t an instant classic, but they’ve, ultimately, built some good bones.

Now the long version: Dune, infamously, had all manner of attempts to adapt it over the years. From the unproduced Jodorowsky, to the Lynch attempt of the 80s, to the dual 200X SyFy Channel entries to, finally, the Villeneuve masterpiece. Like Dune, I think we’re in another decades-long saga of waiting for the person who can do this story right.

I have to admit, I am having a hell of a time getting the book and the Tencent adaptation of the same out of my head enough to give this a clean review. But suffice to say, neither adaptation really nails the full story. And both have aspects they do better than the other. If we could merge the them, we’d get a better overall experience.

The Chinese series excelled at taking its time, really sinking into the pace and structure of the books. Liu created a wonderful slow boil in the books that only slowly revealed itself to the reader. This new version rushes to provide answers, speeding past the suspense and shifts rather than mirroring the whole point. And this is where the latest adaptation reveals itself.

What interested the writers in the newer version is what comes up in the last three episode. Conversely, this is where the Chinese series peters out story-wise (despite one extraordinary moment that both series share). The Netflix version, however, is just getting its legs by the end. Weiss and Benioff (Game of Thrones), along with Alexander Woo, were most intrigued by what comes over the long haul of the story. And it is a great story (Liu got two more brick-sized novels out of it). But the series really compacted too much into the 8 episodes. We never got to enjoy the sense of mystery and the peeling back of the layers. 10 or 12 episodes would have been more appropriate.

But I was thrilled that they provided better motivations for the main instigator of the plot and were less jaundiced in their depiction of history. They also tackled the more complicated aspects of the response to the events of the tale around the world. The Tencent version sort of glossed and then dropped that thread, capturing the despair, but not the long vision of how to deal with it.

But this series also took some liberties with the plot to get it into present day as well as gender-flipped and splintered some characters to create a larger ensemble. Frankly, those changes mostly worked for me, though it was a bit confusing at first knowing the original material. Fortunately, it’s mostly a great cast. Rosalind Chao (Together Together), Benedict Wong (Raya and the Last Dragon), Jovan Adepo (Babylon),  Alex Sharp (Living), Liam Cunningham (The Vault), John Bradley (Moonfall), and Jess Hong are all solid in their roles.

In fact, only Eiza González (Ambulance) didn’t work for me. And boy she didn’t work. Her character, one of the gender flips and splinters, didn’t seem at all to have the intelligence and presence she needed to be at the crux of world-changing events. Emotions, yes, but there was no understanding behind her eyes when she spoke about anything other than that. A cardinal sin in good science fiction.

All of that said, I hope they get to continue the tale. I can’t really give it the clean watch I’d have loved to provide, so I also am not able to properly assess it at the moment. But I am intrigued by where they’re going now that they’ve set up the foundation of what they really wanted to do. I do think they made some major mistakes building the season that way, but perhaps it works better for those that don’t know anything going in? I dearly wish I could combine the two series to get something that better captures the feel of the book and the scope of the story. However, like Dune I suspect we’ll have to wait for another attempt down the road. For now, this is far from bad…just not perhaps everything I’d have hoped. And the subsequent seasons may still succeed in ways I haven’t anticipated.

Where to watch