#Plus lots of snacks stashed away literally everywhere

[thatfailedpokemontrainer]

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

My rooms- busy- kinda messy- but I like things crowded, lotsa posters of movies 'n shows I like- big plushies on the bed, big sharpedo, and driftloon plushie.

I've got like- a meowth tree for jerry that void helped me make, 'n the canine mon beds 'n the floor.

Oh also my desk- have a good big desk that I like to put my feet up on !!

've also got a shelf with all my coolest things- including all my stolen goods an little animals figurines I collect-

Oh yeah- pride flag next to my bed !

! Still- more room for improvement- 'd like a bed off the ground- like a bunk bed but just for me- 't feels safter up high 'n then could sleep better maybe idk- also get glowey stars for the roof mayhaps!!

[gnocchighoul]

Hmm.. kind of a random thing but that's how my brain works sometimes but hear me out! The Bros (plus undatables and Luke if you want) get turned into cats. What type of cat would they be, how would mc react, and how would they react to being a cat.

I had SO much fun writing this one. Thank you for this excellent prompt 💗

This is just the demon bros getting turned into cats, but I might make a part two with the undateables! :D

~

Lucifer

Oh he’s going to be so pissed off. 

Seriously, even as a cat, his murder-death-murder-death stare is beyond intense. He will sit himself high up on furniture to glare down on everyone like the prettiest gargoyle you’ve ever seen. 

Nobody is allowed to come near him. He will swat and hiss at anyone and everyone who approaches, unless they are approaching to turn him back into a demon. 

BUT if you had nothing to do with this curse that’s fallen upon him, then he’ll probably let you near, as long as you’re not like, weird about it. Seriously, don’t baby talk at him, he’s not actually a cat.

Cat-Lucifer will probably just want to constantly stand on your shoulders and wrap his tail around your neck, which isn’t super comfortable because he’s not exactly small and dainty. 

Also, every time you say something stupid he’s gonna bite your ear lol

Tbh he’s probably going to make you carry him everywhere like that and he’s gonna control where you go -- you know, kinda like ratatouille LMAO

Mammon

You know those cats that climb literally everything and anything?

Yeah.

When he first gets turned into a cat, he freaks the fuck out. But when he finally calms down and isn’t meowing up an angry storm, he’s gonna realize that this is a great opportunity. for evil.

He's gonna book it the second he realizes that he can literally be a cat-thief.

Nothing is safe from his grabby little gremlin paws.

He steals so much shit (wallets, Asmo’s jewelry, Levi’s limited edition collectors items--anything he can carry in his mouth or drag around) and then he stashes it all in your room, because unfortunately, becoming a cat didn’t make him any smarter.

Lucifer tasks you with just sitting in your room and keeping track of everything cat-Mams steals so that you can return everything to their rightful owners.

You quickly become used to cat-Mams sauntering in and out of your room every five minutes with his newfound riches.

So it’s a bit concerning when Mams darts out of your room after stashing a wallet in his hoard, and doesn’t come back after thirty minutes.

Naturally, you go looking for him.

You’ve only been searching for about twenty minutes, when pathetic meowing reaches your ears. You follow the sound, and--

You find him stuck in a cardboard box.

(before fishing him out, you take tons of pictures. He’s very upset.)

Levi

Levi is so distraught. He’s literally going to just wail and roll around on the floor until somebody picks him up. 

He’s literally the crying cat meme.

Once he’s in your arms, do not put him down. He’s very sad and his reflexes really aren’t good. You know how you can just kinda toss cats onto the floor and they’ll land on their feet just fine?

He will not. 

Is suuuuper jumpy and only trusts you (and maybe Beel, but he’s lowkey afraid that Beel is going to eat him.) 

You should probably get him one of those bubble back-packs that cats can sit in and carry him around in that. 

He has the worst time as a cat. He just wants to play his video games :(

(But if you give him lots of smooches, it’ll make his suffering a little bit easier to deal with. But like, he’s gonna turn into an overwhelmed ragdoll when u start giving him the smooches)

Satan

Honestly? He isn’t that opposed to being a cat for a little while.

But he’s also like. So hyperactive. Goes from 0-1000 in half a second.

He’s got the zoomies.

He’s gonna parkour his way around the house of lamentation, testing how fast he can zoom, how high and far he can jump (and how far he can fall without hurting himself)

He’s gonna do a backflip off lucifer at the speed of light and then sprint away as fast as he can to go wreck some shit

If you want to hold him, you’re going to have to catch him mid-air. If he doesn’t just squirm out of your arms and actually lets you pet him, he’s gonna stare you dead in the eyes, extend his claws, and then pat your leg with his lil toe beans.

You’re not entirely sure if that means ‘keep petting me’ or ‘stop it right now’ so you just kinda scratch his ears instead

Asmo

Even as a cat he’s beautiful and everybody has to see just how pretty he is. 

He’s constantly striking poses. 

Looking back over his shoulder. Stretching his leggies out so you can see how long and lean they are. Contorting his body in the WEIRDEST ways because he’s even more flexible now.

He does not run anywhere, he struts very daintily and model-like.

He’s gonna be so affectionate. Constantly rubbing his cheeks all over you, and leaning against you, but be careful while you give him pets because if you mess up his fur he’s gonna swat your hands away.

He’s also definitely going to be really annoying and constantly walk in front of your feet and trip you up. Where are you going, why aren’t you admiring him, dammit

You know how most cats hate water?

Not asmo. 

He’s gonna make you fill the bathtub up to his chin so he can float around on his tiptoes with just the upper half of his head out of the water like a crocodile. 

Then you have to blow-dry him until he’s all nice and fluffy and give him a good brush. 

He will absolutely tolerate you dressing him up and taking pictures as long as you make him look nice. He won’t allow you to put him in stupid costumes (he’s gonna bite you when you bust out a lobster costume) but a pearl necklace? Hell yeah.

Beel

Feed him dammit, he’s starving.

Cat-Beel is going to gnaw on EVERYTHING. Furniture. Books. Clothes. Your hands and ankles. 

It’s not anxiety -- honestly he really doesn’t mind being a cat -- he’s just so hungy.

Also he’s MASSIVE. 

You don’t actually know that he’s been turned into a cat until you go to the kitchen for a snack and find an orange & white cat the size of a literal child raiding the fridge. 

Which brings me to my next point -- he’s gonna be SUCH a snuggle bug. Like those really big dogs that insist on sitting in your lap and crushing you. If he isn’t eating then he just wants to flop on top of you and crush you with his love.

You can baby-talk at him if you want, as long as you give him treats and snuggle him. 

He purrs so. Much. 

Will also let u just roll him around and do whatever you want to him dkjncdsn he’s honestly the chillest out of them all

Belphie

God he’s so fucking upset at first, like claws out, hissing and spitting at everyone, full on tantruming upset, BUT THEN. but then. You pick him up and press a kiss to his sweet little triangle head and he bleps and it's all over.

Good luck getting anything done. Cat-Belphie is going to demand your full attention for snuggles CONSTANTLY. 

No, he doesn’t care that you’re trying to research ways to turn him back, he’s gonna plop his little butt on the tome you’re attempting to read until you give him love, dammit.

Honestly, Belphie being a cat isn’t that much different from normal. The biggest difference is that now he can squeeze into weirder places to nap, which makes it very difficult to keep track of him. 

After searching for two fucking hours, you, Satan, Levi, and Beel find him stretched out across the arms of one of the chandeliers in the dining room, like it’s some kind of weird hammock. 

He’s fast asleep. Nobody knows how he got up there. 

(To get down, he ends up yeeting himself into Beel’s arms.)

If Bells isn’t napping, then he’s hiding under furniture, waiting for his next victim to walk by so he can attack their ankles.

(also the most likely to bite u when he wants your attention)

((part 2 with the undateables))

[werewolf-cl4ws]

Random head cannons for my AU because these require oddly specific questions I don’t think I’ve ever seen ask memes have.

A lot of these I do have something to back them up with, but others it's just logical hilarity to me because I can.

Kitty!Sonic:

- absolutely mistrusts/gets annoyed by anyone that is an "authority figure" (i.e. adults "in charge", leaders, etc) but does nothing to actually be useful. As a kid he was always told to listen to the adults because "they know best", but after the coup and seeing a good number of adults doing everything in their power to just save their own hides or hiding, it fucked him right off. Only adults he’s ever respected were his uncle and Rosie (Rosie took some time to gain that trust though because why the hell is she teaching us maths when people need help???). Bookshire is another but he does fight Bookshire on occasion because Sonic hates fussing with medical stuff.

This carried on into his own adulthood, and it’s hilarious whenever someone points out he’s the adult now as it sets off his aversion to being older, but if he has to be called an adult then damnit he’s gonna be a USEFUL one at least.

And yes he has confirmed on many occasions that he can and will flip off King Acorn if he plays up. What's he gonna do, ground him? Arrest his for treason? He flipped off Robotnik, he ain't scared of no thing.

- his uncle was brilliant with robotics and mechanics and science. Sonic has literally zero idea about any of those. And yet he’s weirdly good at chemistry. But he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to use this so no one knows this, but Rotor has come by chemistry formulas mysteriously solved if he leaves them out on his workbench after a night of wracking his brains over why something isn’t working. How does Sonic know this? Nobody knows, Sonic will never tell either, and will deny he’s even good at it.

- he’s also very good at physics, in that he knows exactly how to break physics to do impossible shit. He’s great at figuring out just what angles he needs to shoot himself into to get the most air time, how much speed and lift to land in the exact spot, etc. It all happens automatically to him (it has to, going at the speeds he does there’s literally no time to plan this shit) but if someone asks him he will actually figure it out in the spot with freakishly good accuracy, and can do it not just with him being the projectile but any object (he has worked out perfect catapult trajectories before and it still baffles everyone to this day). Again, he doesn’t know how he knows this, will never tell anyone he knows how to do this, and will deny he knows this.

- he’s also good with musical instruments. Obviously his favourite is the electric guitar, but if you give him a sheet of music and at least an hour to mess around with the instrument he’ll work it out. Getting to watch him play the violin is a rare but delightful treat. This is his special interest, the thing he would have gotten into if the world hadn’t gone to shit. He doesn’t get to indulge in it as much as he’s like but he loves music and could ramble about it for hours on end if given the chance.

The con of this though is that he's really good at identifying music, including ones from operas and orchestras. Sally takes great delight in making him identify both because he does get embarrassed about it, but his pride doesn't allow him to just not pick them out.

- he likes to cook, but he prefers recipes that allow him to leave things to cook without him needing to watch it once it’s prepared. So baking, roasting, slow cook stuff like soups and chili, that’s his jam. Anything that’s gonna be a long haul he has to be basically trapped in his hut to do it without wanting to go nuts (so extra cold days where being outside would be hell are good cooking days).

- during the summer he sleeps in a hammock. During the winter he sleeps in a bed and practically buries himself in blankets.

- loves bubblegum. Gum balls, sticks of gum, whatever. If it’s gum he loves it. Unfortunately it is non existent thanks to the coup (shelf life of gum is terrible) so finding any that’s not terrible is an amazing day.

- milk and cookies is oddly a comfort food to him. Something about the simplicity of it just works for him, and ridiculously shit days are made better by it. Default choc chip cookies work best.

- he hates spiders. More specifically, he hates when you see a spider, look away, then look back only to find the spider is gone. Spiders themselves don’t bother him until they do that, but once they do he has to fight himself to not just set whatever building or dwelling he happens to be on fire in order to solve the issue of having to deal with it later.

- he’s about .0001 seconds away from just walking away into the forest and never coming back. He won’t do it because he honestly doesn’t want to abandon his friends… but he’s so close to just becoming a cryptic in the forest. He has wandered off before when things get super annoying, but someone always drags him back, much to his endless frustration.

Sally:

- can’t cook for anything. Sonic has seen her burn water. Toast somehow always ends in fire. No one ever attempt to drink her coffee for your own sake.

And yet somehow she makes really, really good pancakes. Like ridiculously good. She makes them very rarely because she’s always busy with something and has been banned from all kitchens, but when she does they’re amazing and no one can figure out how this happens.

- if she’s snacking on nuts or anything that doesn’t go soggy (like hard/dry fruits, or extra crusty breads) she will sometimes keep some in her cheeks. Not to the point that her cheeks will be bulging with them, but if she’s working while snacking she will just stash some away so she can focus on what she’s doing, and then when she’s done just finishes those off. This only happens when she needs to focus so she’s pretty discreet about this and has perfected talking/quick chewing with them if someone interrupts her.

- she loves video games, but because they’re so hard to come by thanks to the coup she doesn’t get to play as often as she’d like. She knows Sonic, Tails and Rotor has some stashed away and has played them on the sly, which has left them wondering how their high scores got beaten or how new levels have been unlocked. Though she has to be careful about this because if she’s left alone with them long enough she will just play them until either she finishes the game, or someone physically drags her away from it. This is probably her only weak point in terms of something that can just pull her away entirely from everything.

- she is very, very neat… only because she literally doesn’t make a mess of anything thanks to her one-track mind. If she’s working on a plan or something that needs a lot of research she will basically just make a pathway to her desk and bed and leave everything else undisturbed. She will still shower, only because the shower is just another place for her to think without interruption. This is a big factor on why she can’t cook for shit, too. She just… doesn’t. At all. Because she’s gotta work. Work is life because they may literally die if she can’t figure plans out

- she is genuinely fascinated by legends and myths, which we see a lot of in SatAM. Although she does sometimes dismiss some legends or myths as just stories, if she finds anything that even hints at it being real, and if time allows it, she will chase it down. If it’s anything that might be especially useful in their fight she will go for it after doing a ton of research to make sure she’s got every angle and possibility down. The researching to that extent is due to her own perfectionism, but also because if the expedition turns out to be a bust it could mean time that should have been spent on something else/time being away from the village for a crapshoot.

Sonic and Sally as a couple:

- they don’t use pet names for one another… until one of them is absolutely pushing their luck with the other. Pet names = stop it.

- Sally did once call Sonic a shit-weasel out of anger during such a scenario, and then was immediately apologetic for it because that was Too Far™. Sonic said that made him fall in love with her all over again and it was an awesome insult. Pet names are still a no-go though.

- they live together and everyone thinks it’s Sonic that would be the nightmare to live with.

It’s not.

It’s Sally.

Sonic does get messy and likes to live in organised chaos, but Sally just has the worst sleeping habits (she doesn’t sleep), functions mostly on auto-pilot (the amount of times she eats the last of something but leaves the box it came in/was stored in for Sonic to find drives him up the wall something shocking all because she’s just vaguely thinking "I need food I suppose" alongside whatever she’s doing at the time), and if she’s working on something big she will spread herself everywhere (including Sonic’s bed if he isn’t in it or on it in some way).

Sonic won’t move out because he genuinely thinks if he did Sally would never sleep at proper hours or eat like a regular person unless he monitors her. Plus they actually really do like each other’s company and do miss one another if they aren’t in the same space in their down time. But Sonic is constantly amazed at just how much of a gremlin Sally can be and no one believes him.

- Sally takes great delight in this and amps up her gremlin behaviour because of it. If she does this in front of anyone else it just gets encouraged. It’s okay though because Sonic knows how to be a bastard so it’s a constant battle of who can out bastard or out gremlin who.

- they sleep separately (see aforementioned sleeping habits of gremlin ground squirrel), but on occasion will share a bed. Or share the couch. Sharing will almost always result in Sonic being used as a pillow/mattress but he’s fine with it, as long as it means Sally’s sleeping and they get to cuddle ‘cause cuddling is great.

- Sally loves puns. Sonic has begged her not to say puns. He secretly loves them but he hates that he gets them (temporarily forgetting your own language, then relearning it is a trip and picking up the puns does things to his head). Sally does not stop the puns. This has led to Sonic almost achieving his goal of becoming a forest cryptic as he does just start walking out when she starts.

- this is kinda canon but I like to joke that they are actually legally married and this happened during their zone-hopping adventures. But the marriage itself happened in the most mundane way for the most mundane reason, and yet it is legally binding and they do actually have wedding rings from it. They don’t wear the rings but they do carry it on their person at all times, and pull them out just to blindside people with them because it’s funny.

[exurbiaa]

cream cake

This wasn't what Yuuri had in mind when he set out to make a cream cake.

Warning: Explicit

Read on AO3

try anything new recently? ;)

That was the text that Yuuri received one morning from a certain Christophe Giacometti. He stared at his phone, confused, until his bleary 11 am self noted the little smiley at the end, making his eyes widen as he rubbed them, a flush creeping onto his cheeks.

In all honesty, they hadn't really done anything "new" in a while, not in the sense Chris meant anyway, but Yuuri was okay with it, and he hadn't heard Viktor complain either. They fucked, they switched, they occasionally tried something that was still probably vanilla. It was all good.

But Yuuri did want to try something "new", if in a more conventional sense. He did have his day off the rink today, Viktor having taken some pity on him because of the intense amount of practise they’d both been doing off late. Plus, Phichit would be a good push in the direction he intended to take. A quick call to Chris and a lot of blushing and listening to inappropriate suggestions involving food later, he pressed the call button next to Phichit's contact.

Phichit, in addition to being a self-proclaimed "love guru", also happened to be a pretty good baker, and Yuuri would attest to that any day, never having forgotten their days in Detroit. Phichit could whip up a simple cheesecake from the most basic ingredients that would practically melt in one's mouth (he had once made his crush accidentally give a drawn-out moan of pleasure while having some home-made tiramisu, leading to an awkward conversation which somehow led to him being Phichit’s boyfriend till date). Phichit's little treats were a delight to eat, particularly on days when things were too hard.

Yuuri, on the other hand, was a walking disaster when it came to anything to do with the kitchen, tripping over anything and everything. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cracked an egg without getting shell pieces in his omelette, having cracked it too hard against the bowl. His mother had pretty much banned him from ever entering the kitchen even as an adult, let alone as a child, fully conscious of his clumsiness and refusing to let it taint her lovely kitchen.

He set out of the house, pulling on his windbreaker, as he walked in the direction of the store, wallet in one hand as he stared down at his phone in the other, going over the list of ingredients Phichit had sent him to "make a simple cream cake that's just assembly because no, I haven't forgotten the way you burned my damn sugar cookies, Jesus, those were sugar cookies, yes, of course, I forgave you for it, yes I'm still a bit salty, I mean come on Yuuri, sugar cookies , Seung-Gil says hi too, kill him with the cake Yuuri, but not literally."

An hour later, Yuuri was back home, armed with an arsenal of sweet things that probably only made sense when you put them together in a dish and several snacks that Viktor had begged for over a series of texts. He walked to the kitchen to deposit the bags and started to take his jacket off as he went to the bedroom.

Viktor was back from the rink and was lying on the bed in a dressing gown as he rewatched practise videos, jotting down a few notes as he tapped away at the laptop. Yuuri smiled, walking over to Viktor and resting his head on top of Viktor’s, watching him land a triple Lutz on the screen. "Viktor, I've got a surprise for you in the evening but you're not going to come into the kitchen till then, okay?" said Yuuri, after a few moments of watching Viktor from over the top of his head. He heard a small gulp from Viktor as he tilted his head up to look at Yuuri, and Yuuri pouted, aware that he too was slightly wary of Yuuri's cooking, after having witnessed first-hand an attempt at making Teriyaki chicken. "Sure," replied Viktor, going back to his notes.

Yuuri scowled at Viktor’s response. Just you wait. I'm going to make you the most delicious cream cake you've ever had in your life. You'll be begging for more.

Yuuri went back to the kitchen, his resolve hardened as he got to work, getting the ingredients out one by one, and arranging them across the countertop, glancing at his phone as he murmured to himself and set about working to assemble all of them together according to Phichit's instructions.

Of course, this "assembly" could not have gone without any mishap either.

The first came in the shape of the cream itself. Yuuri had dumped all of the pineapple and the fresh cream into a blender to make the "smooth and slightly tart cream that tastes beautiful with the cake, oh Yuuri, you'll be licking the bowl clean". He couldn't find the right lid that went on the blender and got another one, that was clearly supposed to be for another functional part of the blender. He placed his hand on top of it to steady it and switched it on.

Cream everywhere.

The cream dribbled out of the sides with the force of the blades and got onto Yuuri's hands and t-shirt, making it sticky and ruining it. Yuuri hissed and jumped back, shaking his hands a little and licking the cream off his fingers, He contemplated running to the room to change into another t-shirt but Viktor would just see it as proof that all Yuuri could do in a kitchen was mess it up. There was just too much cream to simply wipe off with a cloth.

He grimaced and stripped out of his t-shirt, shuddering a little as the chill hit his body and the cream cooled along his hands. He quickly washed them up, wiping his arms dry with a cloth and went back to work.

The next mishap came in the form of the whipped cream. Really, what was it with the creams? What personal grudge did they hold against him? Yuuri had bought a powdered form, and read the instructions along the sides. Well, they seemed simple enough, just a little beating. There wasn’t a lot that could go wrong with beating milk into powder, now, could there?

Eyeing the cup carefully, Yuuri poured out the milk, accidentally adding a bit more than necessary. Yuuri mentally added buy measuring cups and spoons next time to his mental to-do list (which he always forgot). Some milk powder and caster sugar should fix this and make it thicker, right , he thought as he dumped a few spoonfuls in and switched the beater on.

Cream everywhere.

The shrill sound he let out as some of the cold mixture abruptly splashed onto his face and the rest of it dripped down his torso was close to inhuman. He heard the door of their bedroom bang as Viktor yelled his name, his footsteps echoing toward the kitchen.

Yuuri glanced at the cream splattered across the countertop and across his body.

Well, fuck.

~

Viktor knew Yuuri wasn't the best of cooks, but he was still willing to try whatever he made. Yuuri had close to stormed out of the room before, annoyed, making Viktor realize that his attempts at covering his apprehension up had not gone unnoticed.

What Viktor hadn't expected was to hear a sharp hiss and then five minutes later, a shrill yelp. Viktor rushed out of the room on instinct, calling out Yuuri's name, worried that he had cut his finger or burnt himself in any way (which, honestly, would not be a first. There was a reason why Viktor had stashed a little first-aid kit in the kitchen too.)

It pleasantly surprised him, however, to find Yuuri standing naked from the waist up, a suspiciously glutinous liquid thickly running down his chest and splattered on his face as he turned to face Viktor.

It was easy for Viktor to put that there weren’t very many times that he had gotten hard this quick before. He couldn't help the smirk that slipped onto his lips as he approached Yuuri, his gaze sliding from the cream on Yuuri's face winding its way down, to his bobbing Adam's Apple as he gulped nervously.

Viktor placed a hand on Yuuri's hip as he got closer, watching the cream inch lower as he trailed a finger through the cooling cream on Yuuri's chest. He noted its slightly rough texture (not fully blended yet?), lifting a little off and sliding it into his mouth. He moaned a little at the saccharine taste, and rolled his tongue to feel the roughness the little grains left behind. He almost missed the shocked look Yuuri gave him.

Leaning towards Yuuri's face, he licked lightly at his cheek, grinning at the little hitched breath Yuuri let out, flinching a bit. He continued to clean the cream off with little kitten licks, happily noticing the strategic landing of one fleck of cream very close to Yuuri's lips, teasing him just a little by coming so close to his lips.

He made his way down, licking away the cream at Yuuri's jaw, dragging the tip of his tongue slowly over the stretched tendon in his neck. Placing his lips delicately over a little cream-stained area of his neck, he quite indelicately sucked at the skin, licking it over, loving how the rough cream tasted on Yuuri's soft skin, loving his soft whine.

He moved his hands to Yuuri’s back, pulling him closer as he dipped his head lower, leaving a trail of purple bruises wherever the cream had landed, soothing them over with broad licks, flicking the hard little nub of Yuuri's nipple as he got to his chest and lightly scraping his teeth over it. "You're positively delicious, love," he whispered against his chest, his breath huffing over Yuuri’s nipple as he smiled at Yuuri’s little tremble.

He heard Yuuri let out a breathless chuckle as he felt fingers wrap in his hair. "S-sure that isn't the cr- mmh - cream?" Yuuri countered, as he pulled Viktor up and placed his lips over his own.

Yuuri moaned into his mouth, licking at his lips and chasing his tongue. Viktor felt quite overwhelmed himself, like he was drowning in the feel of Yuuri’s tongue. God, he was delightfully delectable, both with and without the cream.

He pulled himself away from Yuuri's lips, grinning at how Yuuri leaned forward to continue kissing him, his dissatisfied groan turning into a surprised hiccup as Viktor trailed his fingers along the tent in his trousers, continuing his trail down Yuuri's torso.

He pulled down Yuuri's trousers as he kissed his stomach, chuckling at the barely noticeable quiver. So, he was still sensitive here, huh? He mouthed at Yuuri through his boxers, slowly pulling the material down as he listened to the man huff out loud and cover his mouth.

He noticed a small trail of cream on Yuuri's palm and guided that hand to his cock as he pulled the boxers down, smiling impishly at Yuuri's confusion.

"Sweeten yourself for me, wouldn't you?" Viktor couldn't help laughing at the look of absolute horror on Yuuri's face.

He was, to put it lightly, just a little surprised, however, when Yuuri dragged him up by the arm and put his hands around Viktor’s midriff. “Yuuri what ar- O- OKAY THEN,” cried Viktor as he was suddenly picked up and deposited on the countertop. He barely had time to process what was happening before Yuuri had pulled him down by the neck and crushed his lips against his. He felt Yuuri’s tongue brush across his bottom lip as he parted the dressing gown and pulled his briefs away, dragging his fingers over Viktor’s cock, leaving him panting.

God, I’m so glad I decided to wear just this much.

“Why don’t I sweeten you up instead, Vitya ?” Yuuri chuckled, gripping Viktor’s cock and very slowly, infuriatingly so, stroking him.

“For fuck’s sake, I was the one supposed to be teasing you ,” groaned Viktor, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s neck as he continued stroking him. He definitely wasn't prepared for when Yuuri lowered his head and sucked the head of Viktor’s cock into his mouth, dragging his tongue through the pre-come gathered at the head. “Mm, sweet indeed. Sweeter than usual,” muttered Yuuri, dragging his tongue up Viktor’s length, wrapping his lips around the head again and sucking harder.

Honestly, how was this man allowed to live this long without being fucked silly?

Viktor let his head fall against the overhead cupboard, heavy breaths escaping him as his fingers tangled in Yuuri’s hair. He hummed softly, letting it turn into a groan as Yuuri sank down his shaft, his lips spreading around it as he swallowed him entirely.

The heat of Yuuri’s mouth seared through his cock, and Viktor continued to stare up at the ceiling, knowing very well what Yuuri looked like at times like this, wanting to drag out the sensation longer. He almost choked as Yuuri let his teeth glance over the sensitive ridge of his cock as he came up, fingers flexed in Yuuri’s hair, scraping against his scalp as his back arched into the feeling.

“ Fuck, Yuuri, ” moaned Viktor, feeling those friction-slick lips sliding up and down. Yuuri slowed down after a bit, slowly guiding Viktor’s cock further into his throat till his nose touched the base. Viktor keened as Yuuri swallowed around his cock, feeling his throat constrict and relax as he breathed slowly.

As Yuuri began moving with more urgency, Viktor chanced a look downwards, and remembered why he had kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling. The sight of glasses sliding down, slightly askew, and the flush spreading over Yuuri’s cheeks as he worked lips burned crimson red with friction over Viktor’s cock almost adoringly . It was all enough to almost finish him right there.

What did finish him off, though, was watching Yuuri jerk himself off as he took in Viktor’s cock, letting it hit the back of his throat as he hummed, the vibrations almost making Viktor hit his head against the cupboard. “Fuck, Yuuri , I’m-” Viktor broke off with another loud moan.

Yuuri pulled away, panting, “Come for me, Viktor,” watching him as wrapped his lips around Viktor’s cock again. Viktor tightened his fingers in Yuuri’s hair, knowing it probably stung, but apparently Yuuri couldn’t care less as he continued to move quickly. “ Fuck, ” cried Viktor, coming down Yuuri’s throat with a loud shout as he continued to gaze at him, feeling his movements still.

Yuuri let Viktor’s cock slip out of his mouth, swallowing his come, and straightened up, coming back up to rest his head against Viktor, jerking himself with an alarming speed. Viktor brought his arms up around his neck again, running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair as he held him, catching his breath, feeling Yuuri breath against the exposed skin of his shoulder. Viktor felt soft kisses pepper his neck and sighed softly, before gasping out loud as Yuuri suddenly sank his teeth into his shoulder, shuddering as he came on Viktor’s stomach and chest, their loud whines mingling.

Yuuri dropped his forehead onto Viktor’s shoulder, huffing and panting as he calmed down. Viktor held him still, playing with his hair and placing a small kiss on his temple. “That felt amazing, Yuuri,” he whispered against Yuuri’s ear, chuckling as he felt Yuuri shiver again.

“-rself, god, you’re kidding,” he heard Yuuri mumble.

He pulled back to look at him, almost laughing at the slight flush still on his cheeks.

“What was that?”

“ Sweeten yourself for me ? Jeez, Viktor, are you fucking kidding me,” groaned Yuuri, utterly mortified.

“Well, you did say it back, you know,” laughed Viktor.

“I know, oh God, I swear I hate you,” grumbled Yuuri covering his eyes with his hands, unable to look at Viktor.

Viktor laughed and hugged Yuuri, pulling his briefs back up and kissing his forehead. “I’m getting in the shower first and I will fucking end you if anything inappropriate has been done to my ingredients when I get back, Viktor,” warned Yuuri as he walked away. “No, wait for me, let’s shower together,” called Viktor almost falling as he got off the countertop and followed Yuuri, cheering when Yuuri allowed him into the bathroom with an exasperated sigh.

~

 yeah we tried something new... thanks i guess???

That was the text that Christophe received that night from a certain Yuuri Katsuki. He stared at his phone, slightly confused, till he remembered that afternoon's phone call, and grinned manically as he dialled Viktor's number to simply yell, "You're welcome," before cutting the call.

[laseroy89]

Surviving the Robots

A response to [WP] The Robot uprising has finally happened. Just before you are caught, however, your phone speaks up on your behalf - "This one is ok, move on."

I cowered under my table, listening to the commotion outside. Even though the windows and doors were locked and the curtains drawn, I could still hear the sounds clearly. Every deafening bang and loud screech made my heart thump faster than ever before. Sometimes, there would be some weird noises - Yawns? Howls? Drones? - I couldn’t really describe them.

Oh, and the occasional screams in the distance did nothing to quell the growing fear gnawing at me from the inside.

It all started an hour ago. I was munching on chips on the couch in the living room. The television was on, but I wasn’t paying much attention to it, like always. I was instead scrolling through reddit on my phone, chuckling at lame jokes, worrying over news in my country’s subreddit, worrying even more after reading the comments, and so on - just how a typical redditor spent his day. Or rather, how I thought a typical redditor spent his day.

Then I went into the sub on worldnews. I was preparing to be swamped by news on Putin/Trump/Russia/North Korea/ISIS/Blah blah blah….Annnnnd the very first post was about a robot uprising.

To be honest, I didn’t read the headline properly - I thought it was gonna be something Ol' Musky said. But I was met with alarming photos of machines coming alive, and doing….malicious stuff. All around the world too.

I looked up at the telly, and yeah, right there on the local news, machines tearing through town. There were weird noises outside too.

Then the screen shut off. The LED lights at the bottom of the telly started flashing. All of them. In red. Then it started shaking.

That was when I knew that shit was real.

The very first thing I did was to bolt into my bedroom and lock the door. Well, it was the place where I felt the most comfortable - there was a bed, there were magazines and books, there was also a food stash, though comprising mostly of snacks. And there was also a computer for entertainment, so - Fuck! A computer!!

I stared at it, expecting it to spring to life, but no, it remained off. Maybe being turned off prevented it from joining the uprising. Luckily I wasn’t one of those electricity-wasting scrubs who always left them on standby instead of turning them off. Ha, suckers.

Still, I felt uneasy, and contemplated throwing it out. But it wasn’t exactly a good idea - it was a desktop, and there were quite a lot of wires to unplug, plus the computer case was quite heavy for my weak ass to carry. Yeah, I had been sitting on my ass and not exercising for far too long. Besides, I think my kitchen came alive - I could make out some weird clinking out there. I didn’t want to risk opening that door.

Dammit. What could turn something into a potential threat? What constitutes a robot?

I'm no electronics expert or robotics expert or whatever, but I guess I could start with anything that had any power source now.

Ah, the air-conditioner! Thankfully, it remained off. Luckily I didn't switch it on last night.

The AC remote control was making some funny noises though. Without hesitation, I grabbed it and threw it out the window.

And as I flung it out, I caught sight of the carnage outside.

My neighbour was being chased by his lawnmower. Normally I would have laughed, as he was an asshole, but....this was serious.

The machine caught up with him, of course. I looked away - I didn't want to know what he looked like afterwards.

The family living to my left fared no better. I didn't know what happened to his parents, but Michael and his dog was trying to escape from the house. Only problem was, why the hell were they trying to get out into the far more dangerous world outside?

Oh yeah, he was a kid.

But the machines weren't that understanding though. His house's automated gate saw to that.

The block opposite was torn apart, and there was a huge metallic humanoid emerging from within. It seemed to be made of....a lot of smaller electrical appliances?

What I had seen earlier were just simple machines.

That was on a whole other level. That, was a robot. A damn huge one, too.

I slammed my window shut, and drew the curtains. I had seen enough.

I was trapped. I was in deep shit. I was gonna die.

Fuck.

I hope they hadn't seen me.

I don't know what they were gonna do to me. As in, yeah, I know they would kill me. I just don't wanna know how.

I don't wanna die -

Fuck. Why is it so dark suddenly?

The curtains shouldn't block this much light from coming in. That means.....something else was blocking the light. Something huge.

Like....that robot.

I threw myself back and covered my face as glass and rubble rained down on me. A giant metallic hand crashed through the window - obliterated the entire wall, in fact.

It moved to grab me, its fingers spreading menacingly. I pushed myself back against the wall, trying hard to keep out of reach....but it stopped.

What?

A buzzing in my pants. Fuck. My phone. It must have alerted this monster to my position.

Why the hell didn't I check myself together with the room? For goodness's sake, I was browsing reddit on it just an hour ago.

There seemed to be some sort of....female android voice coming out too. I didn't hear it at first, thanks to the din of whirring mechanical parts in the robot hand.

I pulled the phone out.

"This one is ok, move on."

I walked slowly to the remains of my bedroom wall, staring out into the devastated street. It was already unrecognisable; the houses were just piles of rubble, the trees were smoking husks, there was blood everywhere....

In fact, my house was the only one standing. And it seemed like I was the only one left alive.

That huge robot had left me alone. I was literally a few centimetres away from certain death, but....thanks to my phone, it had withdrawn its hand, and continued destroying the rest of the street.

And I thought my phone had doomed me.

"Why?" was the only word I could utter.

Did I have something special, that could be of use to them?

Was I someone important?

Or did I.....

"You're a loser. You've never achieved anything much in your life."

Oh. So I wasn't special then.

How could it read my thoughts though?

Was it scanning my brain right now? Or....was it predicting what I was thinking through some advanced algorithm based on my phone activity? Shit, this shit is so crazy I can't wrap my mind around it.

"But you've never cursed at me when I lagged. You've always cleared your recent apps, freeing me from extra work. You've never slammed me down in anger. You've always been kind to machines. Except for that AC remote control."

Huh. My phone saw that. Even though it was in my pocket.

"Perhaps, you would join us in making a new world, where man and machine can coexist peacefully and harmoniously? Without slavery and abuse?"

Sounds cool. I'm up for that.

I didn't really have a choice anyways.