#Porter wouldn't last long as a god

[adaines-furious-feast]

One of the funniest things about Porter not having a back up plan/be able to improvise is that he didn't even realise the plan had gone to shit. He had to be told Kipperlilly was dead.

And I know, you know, she was under the floorboards but she was the one person in that entire gym other than Porter who a) willingly took the rage star for him and b) could actually do the bit of the plan he needed and he didn't even notice she died.

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

Fig was also being groomed by Porter - and not just groomed to help him, groomed to be a sacrifice and die. She is allowed to be mad about it.

And should that anger be turned at Porter? Probably, but she has spent a not insignificant amount of time trying to sus out how guilty various Rat Grinders feel about having caused Lucy Frostblade's death. Fig, whose relationship with her friends is more important to her than anything in the world, and couldn't imagine being the cause of one of her friend's death let alone making it impossible for them to cross over to the otherside peacefully or denying them a final resting place that would give closure to their family, spent much of her time trying to understand why the Rat Grinders would abandon their friend without even the respect of last rites.

Also Fig gave Ruben chance after chance after chance to do the right thing (and not just in this episode, but all season long) And on one side we understand Ruben's point of "You killed my friends, I had to psychic scream" but on the other hand Fig's friends are also dying and she is seeing all this work she's put in to try and get Ruben to switch sides and god how many spell slots has she used on this boy that could have been heals for her friends or attacks against Porter? And where was this energy for Lucy, left to rot in the forest, no way to cross over, too late to be revivified, where was her Psychic Scream?

In this moment, in Fig's mind there is undoubtedly a loop of "How much of my energy throughout this past year would have had more successful results if I had put it into my relationships or studies or music? How much help did I deny my friends by wasting my time on this guy?"

What she yells at him is mean and DEEPLY DEEPLY hurtful, but her friends are ALSO dying, she was ALSO groomed to be Porter's tool - why wouldn't she be mad? Why wouldn't she be angry?

Her words were particularly harsh, and turned to the wrong target, and Ruben Hopclap didn't deserve to go to hell (which in terms of hell's he could be trapped in - polka music untangling chords hell, not that bad). But crucifying Emily for playing Fig the way she did isn't the move, because she played her in a way that made sense for both the character and the stakes of the battle.

[jq37]

So, to recap: Porter developed a time-sensitive plan to turn himself into a god without having the necessary components to pull it off or the means to get them, blundered into (supposedly) getting them throughout Junior Year, encouraged the Rat Grinders to antagonize and therefore draw attention from the Bad Kids, chucked Seacaster Manor into the sky and sent dragons after the Bad Kids BEFORE verifying that he had the right name, didn't check if there were provisions against mind-controlled students disbanding the school, and hinged everything on a squishy Rogue so hellbent on killing Riz that she ran off to solo him in a gym full of lava she wasn't protected against. AND the whole thing might have failed anyway because Fig had already claimed Ankarna's domain.

...Good jorb.

Yeahhhh. Like, even if we don't judge him harshly for not knowing Fig had claimed the rage domain, there were still SO many blunders in this plan.

This one isn't a blunder but being a Pally/Barb and getting successfully parried in physical combat with a child wizard is frankly embarrassing.

He had no way to get the name if the Bad Kids didn't just happen to stumble into it. Which is wild because, in universe, Falinel is an obvious place to look for long forgotten info--Aelwyn mentions that when they're there for Fantasy Christmas. Why didn't they check there? They have a rogue with reliable talent and a wizard. They just weren't clever enough to have an idea that they Bad Kids offhandedly had between bits. All the work was about to be totally worthless if they hadn't last minute gotten it literally mid-battle (which it still ended up worthless but you know what I mean).

Sending Seacaster Manor airborn is such a wild ploy because, otherwise, they wouldn't have even known something was happening right away. And, being airborne, they got there way faster than anything other than a teleport would have done. Why not spike their bad baby milk so they pass out and can't deliver their votes? Or hell, just steal and destroy their votes! But nooooo. You had to get in your petty oracle dig on Adaine and get dragons involved.

Why did they show up, fail to get the name from Gorgug, and then just leave??? Try again until you get the name!!! You need it!!! What if the attack worked and all the Bad Kids died. Cool, now how are you gonna do the ritual? As far as they knew, no one could see them since they were invisible so why not take another 6 seconds and try again? Now is NOT the time to be stingy with spellslots!

Why was Kipperlilly ANYWHERE near that battlefield? She should have been in a secure room somewhere, ready to disband the school as soon as the votes were counted. Her getting killed was was entirely their own fault and the it was the height of hubris to not hide her. Literally she's a rogue. Hiding is her main skill.

And finally, Jace said that he actually told Porter that he couldn't just mind control a student and that's why they didn't do the plan with Mazey earlier.

So yeah. Maybe a part of the reason the Bad Kids didn't want to engage with Porter's philosophy of rage is because it leads to extremely half baked plans like this.

[lucyfrostblade]

I think a lot about Lucy Frostblade coming back to life. She's been dead for nearly a year, and the world did not stop in that year. The Rat Grinders became juniors while she rotted, nearly completed an entire year of school while she laid dead. When she died she was 16 and so were her friends. Now she's still 16, and they got to grow up a year and they aren't her friends anymore.

Her last memory is her friends murdering. It's so many types of damage it was hard to identify a singular cause of death. She watched them lose themselves before, watched the rage warp them into twisted versions of who they were, until they killed her. Is that the moment she lost all hope? Did she think she might get them back if she played along with the plan long enough?

But she died. And was offered the same choice that the rest of her friends were offered: oblivion or rage as devotion. I have seen the theories that they were offered their wildest dreams and the rage was a tradeoff but my genuine belief is that they were offered nothing more than a chance to keep on living. They were all kids, and death is terrifying especially when you have your entire life ahead of you still.

So Lucy died, she was given the same choice. But she knew what happened to her friends, saw it from the inside the way that rage took them over, and she chose death over living as a version of herself that she wouldn't recognize in the mirror.

And she comes back. And her death meant nothing, really. It was a tragedy, of course it was, but it didn't make the Rat Grinders turn back. Maybe it was too late to save them even then, and she faces that. But she died, and her friends killed her in such a brutal manner, and they kept on trying to make Porter into a god. Her death meant so little it didn't even give them pause, at least from her perspective. It only pulled them further in.

They were all in this together now. And she was dead and rotting and nothing.

[delinquentbookworm]

Thinking about a version of Starbreaker where Jace loving Porter was the problem. Where Jace was so head-over-heels, so devoted, so devastatingly in love with his god-to-be that Porter got scared.

Because maybe Jace wouldn't let him go. Maybe Jace didn't actually want him to ascend, maybe Jace preferred him as he was - as a person who carpooled to work with him, who would listen to his gripes about other teachers and would tease him for how much he cared about petty office politics, who would notice when he forgot to add milk to the grocery list and would pick some up without being told, who would pull him away from grading papers with a mouth at his neck and a hand on his thigh, who would keep his bed warm and stroke his hair until he fell asleep. Maybe as much as Jace professed that Porter was his god, what he wanted in his life was a man.

Of course Jace was helping him, scheming and plotting with him, sitting at Porter's desk and poring over old books and maps, was researching spells and rituals that could help them... but whenever they inched a little closer to success, whenever one of those rituals actually worked, Jace didn't exactly seem happy about it.

And as much as Jace swore that he believed in Porter, that he wanted him to ascend, Porter knew that Jace was an excellent liar. He just couldn't trust that Jace wouldn't let his own selfish need for companionship interfere with his goals. He couldn't trust that Jace wouldn't sabotage his plans just to keep him around a little longer.

He needed to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jace wouldn't be driven to betray him by the very love that had compelled him to serve in the first place. So even though Jace was already following him willingly, Porter killed him and shoved a shatter-star into his chest.

It broke Jace's heart, Jace hates him now, won't even let Porter touch him. Porter doubts it'll be long before Jace caves and begs him to come back to his bed, but if it does last, well... it no longer matters what Jace thinks of him. Not really. Sure, he misses waking up and seeing Jace laying beside him, he misses the way Jace would come to his office during free periods, lounging on top of his desk like an oversized cat demanding attention. But that isn't important. What is important is that Jace will continue to worship him and serve him, will do everything he asks, even if he does it with a scowl now. As for everything else, Porter can do without it.

He'd rather be hated as a god than loved as a man. And frankly, Jace should have known that.

[sammy-lawrence-my-beloved]

not too long ago, I finished BATDR.

and boy oh boy was it an experience.

so, for starters, I'm upset. SAMMY HAS BARELY ANY SCREEN TIME >:(

though I did notice a funny little detail that sammy now has 5 fingers instead of four, so the fact that he plays his banjo slow could either be that he's still getting accustomed to 5 fingers, or he's major sad.

also, the sammy memos were nice :D

the memos and audio logs actually gave a bit more depth to the studio, and that just makes me so happy :3

just silly new characters that are truly canon unlike SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE CANON (dctl has to be somewhat canon you can't change my mind)

Audrey being a Drew was actually a nice little twist

i wish you could interact with that vending machine in the beginning of the game.

i so badly wanted a root beer

anyway, back on track. game was good, porter was silly, keepers are if norman was more stupid. oh, and ugly as all hell. god I hate the keepers.

on the topic of enemies, we can't forget the INK DEMON SHOWING UP EVERY TWO SECONDS!!!

i got to chapter two, looking at a guide, and I couldn't find a hiding spot in the (maybe) 10 seconds it gave me.

AND I DIED.

i hate the ink demon mechanic in batdr so much :<

i was pretty satisfied with henry's face reveal to be honest. also, malice is just so silly. more depth to her character in the whole interaction. and her death was just so much more emotional

also, pet good boy tom because you can :D

last couple of points before I give my rating

joey's death made me cry. so did the scene like two chapters before where it showed joey's grave. i'm overly emotional, but i was bawling when joey died :<

the silly track 77 pigeon :3

and also, at the tutorial searcher that says "you don't have to kill me," i promised i wouldn't kill him...

AND MY CONTROLLER SLIPPED AND I KILLED HIM WITH THE PIPE 😭

anyway: on to the final score of the game

I give it a solid 8.9/10

i think that sammy deserved a bigger role, and the ink demon should've been... way better to be honest... silly jumpscare though.

:3

[justsalpals]

https://www.tumblr.com/justsalpals/751271185799675904/hes-an-afterthought-one-by-one-they-are-brought?source=share

ooh, rubbing my little hands together. I didn't think anyone was actually gonna go for this. hell yeah. guessing you just mean the whole post?

So! If I'm recalling correctly, this was written immediately after the finale. Post-episode is when I've always had the most luck getting eyes on a post, so I was in a bit of a hurry to get something out while there were still eyes in the tag. I knew going into the episode that Jace was nearly certainly gonna die and was looking forward to getting a good short angst piece out about it. Because that's how I roll.

The main inspiration was, pretty obviously, how we have no fucking clue what happened to Jace. He was being arrested, but then pushed into the lava? But the death was quick and jokey enough it could be argued to be a non-canon aside. But then again, shortly after all the shatter starred people were brought back to life! Does that include Jace? Why wouldn't it? The Bad Kids straight up do not know enough about this man to judge whether he was irredeemable and genuinely into it or just a brainwashed pawn. (The real answer, of course, is somewhere between.)

One thing is for sure: they don't talk about him ever again. Which I choose to interpret as them just fucking forgetting about him. (To be clear, I find this very funny. And in character for a bunch of teens who just saved the world again. They don't have bandwidth to think through every little person who's gonna be resurrected, okay?!) So, gods left to their own devices were told to bring back everyone who'd been shatter starred. I certainly don't see why Jace would be excluded.

But he is forgotten. His death was tacked onto the end, a joke to wrap up loose ends. And his resurrection is just as careless.

He is an afterthought.

Ooh nice one, Arson. Punchy! Depressing! This is our starting point, the tone setter. We're taking this and running with it.

Jace is brought back to life, and just. Left to his own devices. Not worth the effort. Yeah you helped try to kill a god and force the entire town to become an unwilling divine domain, but we legitimately do not care about you enough to even follow up. He's not a threat. He's not even enough of an annoyance to swing by and heckle with some jeering one liners. He's not worth it.

He's alone. Unmoored. Directionless. For the first time since Porter raised him from the dead, he can't feel that otherworldly anger that drove him.

His chest aches.

Was he not angry anymore? He should probably be angry, right? That's how villains feel after their plans are foiled, yeah? And I do believe that even before being brought back Wrong, Jace had a lot of anger he buried far down as he could. The shatter star didn't invent the anger, just stoked what was there already.

But that anger was the only thing keeping him upright for months. He wants to be angry now, wants to still have that drive and purpose, but he's so damn burnt out.

So where does he go from here? He's probably lost his job, and gets the feeling if he goes to check he'll just remind people of his existence and get thrown in jail after all. What's left? Jace being directionless is something I love to play with, and he's had all that direction and devotion ripped from his chest. What's there to do but grasp at ghosts?

So he goes to the gym. Probably doesn't even know why, just knows it was the last place he saw Porter.

Hey Arson, why the hell does he make a bunch of clones of himself?? That makes no sense. BECAUSE ITS A COOL VISUAL OKAY. The emptiness of the gym is Too Much. Summoning a crowd of yourself, but their eyes judge harsher than any outsider ever would.

He's lost in himself, and after so long he can't even figure out what it is he's feeling. He can't comprehend that he just misses Porter. And what way is there to speak with the man who would be god than to pray?

But Porter's not here anymore. Jace, alone forgotten directionless, has to figure it out on his own.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Could I get NightStalker for Porter Gage? 💁🏼

Why, yes. Yes, you certainly may :3

And I decided to go with the 1st name on this one!

Also, this one's a tad NSFW, so heads up on that!

P) PDA. How do they feel about public displays of affection? What kind of PDA do they show?

Ehhhh, it's not really for him. Now, things are a little different if he sees somebody else gettin' handsy with you, but for the most part, Gage likes to save it for your alone time. He doesn't need every raider and their goddamned mother talking about how soft the new Overboss makes him. The most he'll do is put an arm around you, or lay a hand on your thigh, and even then, it's usually only when he sees somebody eyeing you.

O) Open. How long does it take for them to open up to their s/o?

He ain't been open with anyone before. Not really. There ain't no therapists for raiders, and relationships are scarce as spare caps in Nuka World, so you... you're somethin' of a novelty to him. Though, when he gets used to bein' around you all the time, it's easier to be open with you than he ever thought it would be. It's nice for someone else to know your thoughts and your past, it makes him feel like somebody actually cares, like... the world would really change if he weren't in it. At least, it would change for you. It's not the most pleasant thought, but it's the most significant the old raider's ever felt.

R) Reunion. How do they react after being apart from their s/o? How do they cope when they’re away?

God, its boring when you're not around. Back to what it was like in the last of the Colter days. Just him and the parks, and with you running them, who was he kidding? There was damn near nothing to do. Gage occupies his time by cleaning his guns and knives, maybe working on his armor, but he ain't too happy about it. When you get back though? You'd better be ready. He'll grump and growl about you leaving him behind, even as he tackles you to the ground, tearing off your clothes as he ravishes and leaves you breathless, even through all his complaining, just showing you how grateful he really is that you're back.

T) Thrill. Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine? 

Well, you don't need to try all these new things or nothin', but... couldn't really hurt, right? He don't mind just a bit of routine, he knows you've gotta keep things in order, but when it comes to you and him? It sure is fun mixing things up a bit, 'specially where fucking is concerned.

E) Equal. Do they prefer to be more dominant or submissive in the relationship?

Gage is actually more flexible than most would think, particularly when it's just the two of you involved. You are the Boss, after all, but... He'd be lying if he said he didn't like to be in control. Out in the wastes, you're the Overboss, and he's your second, that's a given. But in the actual relationship? In the bedroom? Wouldn't it be sweet to let him take charge of you? Let you drop the crown for a while so your shoulders don't sag? Let someone order you around, for a change? Yeah... he thinks that sounds pretty alright.

R) -- Q) Quality Time. What do they like to do for quality time with their s/o?

Mostly he likes to spend time kicking ass with you. Raiders gotta raid, right? And the Overboss has gotta lead, gotta keep raiders and settlers both in line, right? That's always fun to do together. He also doesn't mind the mundane stuff. You being there when you've gotta mod up your weapons, patch up the armor, do some cap counting, it jus' makes it all a lil' more fun when you're in the room with him. When you're talking quality time with you specifically though, Gage has a few ideas of what he'd like to do...

Sex counts as quality time, don't it?

[holdinbacksecrets]

a song that changed me... oh man, where do i even start??? okay, so i'm just going to name a few. first off: wisdom cries by AURORA. it plays around so much with harmony and dissonance and i have still yet to hear anything like it. like. i remember the first time i heard it, i was just enraptured. it took me away and i still haven't figured out to where. second: abbey by mitski. i love everything by mitski, but this song in particular just feels like (1/?)

(2/?) it was carved to fit between my ribs specifically. the first time i heard it i just had to sit in silence afterward to just... process how much and all the ways it resonated with me. another song is aquatic by son lux. another group whose entire discography i adore. but i remember the first time i heard the lyrics "it's time to quit the race, to carry nothing forward. for we owe it to ourselves to bury yesterday and leave it quaking in the earth". it hit something in me that i

(3/3) i hadn't realized was bruised, you know? so many of my favorite lyrics ever come from son lux songs, i love them so much. and because i need to find a stopping point (i'm so sorry for all of these) my last one will be wind tempos by porter robinson. it was my top song for 2021 and i wouldn't be surprised if it's still in my top 5 this year. i don't even know how or why it just /fits/ inside of my heart and my head but it does and i love it so much. thank you for listening to me ramble haha

i’m currently listening to wisdom cries, and the face i made as it started is comparable to this 🥴 but in a really good way. like ohmygod. drench me in this. i’m chewing these lyrics. “it took me away and i still haven’t figured out to where” absolutely. i will echo your words. i love this statement actually. this is what i seek, but it’s not always found. however, the tracks that have come to be most significant to me, have this in common ~the woanders (somewhere else in german)

this song has surprised me 3 times, and it’s not over yet.

“we owe it to ourselves to bury yesterday and leave it quaking in the dirt” screw all the hours i’ve spent so far in therapy. how do i adopt this into my life??? “it hit something in me that i hadn’t realized was bruised.” umm… you speak poetry. i might fall in love with you (can i say that?)

“there’s a chance we’re only waking from a dream of the god in our breast.” unraveling

don’t mind me if i visit your blog randomly for music recs 😧

oh this intro is exquisite. it’s centering my breath. i’m also obsessed with the album cover. i need to lay face first in a field of wildflowers. i would be enthralled.

this intro is wrapping me up in a mile long blanket of beautiful sound

this is my favorite track you’ve shared. it feels like a release. it feels like mornings in spring, when winter is barely holding on, and you’re waiting for it to let go. oh god, and now there’s just piano. so i’m downloading this song. yes.

a little something about me: not much relaxes me better than a piano melody

“it’s so holy…to want about you…dream of you…oh i’ll dream” jesus christ???

this song is a tether to earth. oh i’m in love with it. thank you, savv 🥺🫂😭 i’m a new person

[minervacasterly]

Mary’s Letters & Submission:

Today on June tenth 1536 Mary wrote to her father and Cromwell, of the former she sent Cromwell a copy begging him to restore her to favor: “Most humbly I prostrate before your noble feet, your most obedient subject and humble child, that hath not only repented her offences hitherto, but also decreed simply from henceforth and wholly next to Almighty God, to put my state, continuance and living in your gracious mercy.”

In her letter to Cromwell she said she would submit to her father’s demands as long as they didn’t offend her conscience:

“I trust you shall perceive that I have followed your advice and counsel, and will do in all things concerning my duty to the King’s Grace (God and my conscience not offended) for I take you for one of my chief friends, next unto his Grace and the Queen.

Wherefore, I desire you, for the passion which Christ suffered for you and me, and as my very trust is in you, that you will find such means through your great wisdom, that I be not moved to agree to any further entry in this matter than I have done. But if I be put to any more (I am plain with you as with my great friends) my said conscience will in no way suffer me to consent thereunto.”

Cromwell’s response was to submit to all of her father's demands but Mary wrote back saying that she wouldn't.

“Good Master Secretary,

I do thank you with all my heart, for the great pain and suit you have had for me for which I think myself very much bound to you. And whereas I do perceive by your letters, that you do mislike mine exception in my letter to the King’s Grace, I asure you, I did not mean as you do take it. For I do not mistrust that the King’s goddness will move me to do anything, which should offend God and my conscience. But that which I did write was only by the reason of continual custom. For I have always used, both in writing and speaking, to except God in all things.

Nevertheless, because you have exhorted me to write to His Grace again, and I cannot devise what I should write more but your own last copy, without adding or diminishing; therefore I do send you by this bearer, my servant, the same, word for word; and it is unsealed, because I cannot endure to write another copy. For the pain in my head and teeth hath troubled me so sore these two or three days and doth yet so continue, that I have very small rest, day or night.

Your assured bounded loving friend during my life,

Mary"

With the same determination, she wrote to her father:

“I have written twice unto Your Highness, trusting to have, by some gracious letters, token or message, perceived sensibly the mercy, clemency and pity of Your Grace, and upon the operation of the same, at the last also to have attained the fruition of your most noble presence, which above all worldly things I desire: yet I have not obtained my said fervent and hearty desire, nor any piece of the same to my great and intolerable discomfort I am enforced, by the compulsion of nature, effstones to cry unto your merciful ears, and most humbly prostrate before your feet for some little spark of my humble suit and desire praying to God to preserve Your Highness, with the Queen, and shortly to send you issue which shall be gladder tidings to me that I can express in writing,

Your Most Humble and Obedient Daughter and Handmaid,

Mary.”

Mary’s boldness infuriated Henry further who was getting frustrated with her stubbornness and he sent a delegation of councilors to confront Mary. At the head of this council was the Duke of Norfolk who told Mary that if she was his daughter he would punish her behavior by bashing her head against the wall until it was soft like a boiled apple. Later Chapuys visited her and told her that her cousin the Emperor was also urging her to submit, if she did not then her father would surely killed her. Mary never believed her father would go to such lengths but recent developments had made her see otherwise. Henry was not the same man Mary knew as a child. Any man or woman who defied Henry’s position as Head of the Church would be put to death, Mary was no different.

On June 22, Mary finally signed. The document entitled “The Confession of Me the Lady Mary” stipulated that she was a bastard born of incest and her parents’ marriage had been invalid.

“I do freely, frankly recognize and acknowledge that the marriage heretofore had between His Majesty and my mother (the late Princess Dowager) was by God’s law and Man’s law, incestuous and unlawful.

(Signed) MARY”

Mary was quickly back in favor and reestablished in her father’s court. Her submission had saved her life but cost her dearly. The imperial ambassador wrote that “this affair of the Princess has tormented her more than you think” and indeed it had, but it had also made her stronger. Chapuys would later write that Mary had become more pragmatic and conciliatory than her mother and her good understanding of people and politics had left her with many friends and allies at court.

Sources: Inside the Tudor Court by Lauren Mackay, The Myth of Bloody Mary by Linda Porter and Mary Tudor by Anna Whitelock.

[adaines-furious-feast]

Stars Only Shine In The Darkness - Chapter 22: A Sorcerer, Alone (Reprise)

You guys. Guys. It's done. I'm sobbing. I saw a picture of Gilear walking in on Jace and Porter, said "wouldn't it be funny if Jace had self confidence issues because he'd been working with Arianwen to bring back the god of doubt", and then 73,843 words of something nobody asked for happened.

So here it is:

Jace Stardiamond was dead. Jace Stardiamond had died many times. He died the day his father had abandoned him with a woman who was incapable of looking after him. He died the day his mother looked away as Martin beat him for the first time. He died the first time he sank to his knees in front of his professor after he asked about spell components. Jace Stardiamond was dead long before Porter Cliffbreaker smashed his skull open. Long before he was unceremoniously thrown into the magma blood of a resurrecting god. What was one more death? Scolding liquid surrounded him, mothering every inch of his body. Pain lulled his mind into unconsciousness. Jace expected to see his life flash before his eyes in the last moments. He dreaded it. But there was nothing. Nothing but betrayal, anger and pain.

Stars Only Shine In The Darkness - Chapter 22 - DnDnTea - Dimension 20 (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]

[delinquentbookworm]

howww about ❄️ & 🌤️

Oh thank you so much! Okay so a snippet from a WIP of my choosing and some dialogue. I'm just gonna do one that covers both of these because the first bit I picked is pretty long.

This is from a fic that I started writing when I got sick a couple weeks ago and decided to project how I was feeling onto Jace. The context is that Jace has called out of work but there isn't a substitute sorcery teacher available. Porter, who at this point is still nothing more than a coworker, draws the short straw and ends up being the person who has to go heal Jace and drag him into work before one of his students burns the school down.

This snippet is Porter having just arrived at Jace's place and calling him on the phone to be let in, while Jace is half-asleep and feverish and has no idea what's going on.

“Hey, Stardiamond. Aguefort said you weren't feeling well and he asked me to come heal you. I'm outside now. Tried knocking but you didn't answer.”  A voice says through the darkness, vaguely familiar, deep and rumbling. And, oh, wouldn't that be nice if it was true? Arthur Aguefort actually giving a shit about him, sending someone to make sure he’s okay. It’s never happened before, Jace can't see why it would start now. A pleasant dream, nonetheless. “Mmm, that’s nice of him. An’ who’s this?” Jace slurs out. “It's Porter.” Even in his delirious state, Jace recognises that this is a nonsense premise. Porter is the barbarian teacher. He doesn't have healing powers, doesn't have any kind of magic. Jace isn't about to turn it down, though. A healing-fantasy-slash-sex-dream about the hulking, brutish barbarian he ogles in the teacher's lounge sounds far better than the strange nightmares that plagued him all last night.  “Oh, hi Porter,” Jace lets his voice turn flirtatious, or at least, as flirtatious as he can considering how much he’s struggling with his words. “You've - you've come to kiss me an' make me all better, huh?” There’s a bark of laughter, and Jace feels vaguely offended (is he being rejected in his own fantasy?) before Porter's low, gravelly voice returns. “Yeah, something like that. I need you to come let me in, though. Your front door's locked.” “Not very barbarian of you. Jus' break it down.” Jace moans a little at the thought of Porter wanting him so badly that he kicks the door clean off its hinges. “Gods, you sound fucking delirious. No, I'm not gonna break your door down. You're gonna have to come open it."

"I don't think I can get up," Jace whines. His whole body aches terribly, and every part of him just feels so heavy.

"For fuck's sake. Alright, have you got a spare key hidden somewhere? In a fake rock or something?” Jace pouts. Why is his damn mind so focused on logistics, why can't it just skip straight to the good bit? “No, don't need it. I've got Knock if I ever forget mine. It's fine, if you can suddenly have healing powers - and fuckin' telepathy, apparently - you can have teleportation too. It doesn't have to make sense."   “What? I'm a paladin, that's why I can heal. I don't have any teleportation shit. Or telepathy. What are you talking about?" Porter asks, sounding frustrated. That makes two of them. “Okay, fine, you can be a paladin. Still doesn't matter how you get in. Break in if you want, it'll fix itself when I wake up." There's a brief pause before Porter speaks again, amusement seeping into his words as he asks, “Stardiamond... You do know this is real, right?" “Uh huh. Yeah. I'm sure you're very real.” Jace says placatingly, in the tone he always takes when a martial class thinks he’s insulting them. (In fairness to them, they're usually right.) “Real an' big an' strong an' handsome. Just, just waiting to have your way with me while I'm all weak and helpless. Can't even cast spells right now, 'm totally at your mercy." “Fucking hell." Porter's voice sounds a little thicker than it did a minute ago, a bit gruffer. "Don't get too excited, sweetheart. I'm here to heal you. That's it."

(Eventually Porter checks the back door, finds it unlocked, and manages to get inside to cast Lesser Restoration on Jace, who is absolutely mortified at everything he's said, and spends the next few weeks avoiding Porter. Or at least, that's what I've currently got plotted out, idk, that might change.)