#Put Rosanne to sleep

[11cleyvaart]

Maybe some more quimby headcanons before he met gadget please?😍

Let's see… I never really gave thought about him before Augustin. So here's some ideas. 

Frank was a child of after the second war in the resurgence of the American population. His parents stayed together regardless of their young age when the war first started. 

His father then became an amputee from the Korean war in the 1950’s. Which put a strain on his parent's marriage even more. Throwing little Frank in the middle of fights and bickering, but he just stayed outside to avoid it. 

He was raised in a Catholic household, and went to Sunday school regularly. He was brought up on the fear of damnation and often hid his true feelings. Quimby knew he wasn't the same as the other boys in school when they liked the girls, when he didn't feel the same way about them. He was also bullied for being huskier than the others in his younger years. Making him eat more to give him comfort. 

He began smoking a pipe because his father did. He stuck with a pipe for the scents they gave off, rather than the cigarettes. But most of the time, the wood pipe gave him comfort, much like sucking a thumb. 

He ultimately met his ex-wife, Rosanne while attending church with his elderly mother in his mid-20’s. 

His father had died of an overdose of a home concoction of sleeping pills and cocaine to help him ease the pain (mentally and emotionally) 

He married his wife to uphold the American vision and to keep his mother happy. All the while he hated the entire thing. He forced himself to be happy and content. 

Around the same time, he started his career in the police force, not wanting to go to war but just enough to serve his country. He eventually worked his way up in the ranks branching into being a detective. He would take his work seriously and at times seemed married to his work rather than his wife. 

Quimby would then come to going undercover for his cases, going as far as dressing as a woman. To which he would begin to find he enjoyed the nylons, just another secret he'd have to keep from his wife. 

He and his wife never had kids in the years they'd been married. He was usually always at work or too tired to want to go that far. It put a hard strain on the marriage from the lack of wanting to even consummate the wedding those years back. He had relations with his wife less than five times in their long marriage. Most times he failed to end or never became aroused enough.

Quimby became curious about same sex when he had busted a drug lab seeing the persons engaging in the acts deemed by his church as sinful. He thought of it first with his brought up religious mind, as evil. But soon found himself drawn more to the curious side than anything else. Making him buy his first skin magazine of Playgirl. 

He hid it from his wife the best he could and soon began to buy more magazines to fill his curiosities. He began to become slightly comfortable with the thought of kissing another man, but at this time in his life he was overweight. So he began to give up on his real aspirations of finding someone to love him. 

At the same time, he was taking in new recruits for the program, finding a man who had the drive but needed guidance in the field. He gave recommendations for Augustin Tamare to join the ranks for the detective department. 

Seeing this other man and working with him for nearly the same amount of time as his marriage, Quimby started to turn soft for Tamare. Yet would give tough love to him. Which would lead to him growing comfortable with Augustin and their relationship being more grounded. 

[shobiejuesna]

SCRIPT

CONTACT INFORMATION: Shobie Juesna Magalang Pampanga, Philippines

(+63)9614809254

Shobiejuesna8@gmail.com

DECOMPOSITION

Cast of Character

Rosanne (my mom): the main lead of the story and Juanito's great love.

Juanito: my mom ex-boyfriend for almost 4 years.

Nina: Rosanne mother.

Minerva: Rosanne eldest sister

Theodore: Rosanne brother-in-law and husband of Minerva

Christina: Theodore's cousin and Rosanne best friend

Annalise: Juanito's older sister

Felicia: Juanito's youngest sister

Lucia: Juanito's mother

Simon: Juanito's father

TIME

May of 1993.

Synopsis

While we are young, we sometimes found love that just bound to hurt and teach us. We met someone that we thought "the one" or "the girl\boy before the one". Imagining, ourselves growing old with that someone to the rest of our lives. Year 1993 at the small town of San Carlos, there was two young lovers. As the time passed their love and fidelity was tested. Would they end up together or biggest regret and lesson to each other?

SETTING: Silay city, Nina's inside room in her house

AT RISE: Rossane and Nina facing each other on the bed, while Rossane reading the letter out loud.

ROSSANE

Why you can't take a vacation too? You promise ate and kuya to visit this summer. (In her upset voice and shoulders drop)

NINA

I can't leave this time ga (love), your aunt Lena needs me here.

(She affectionately pats her youngest daughter head)

ROSANNE

Uncle Samuel could take care of her. Carmen will be upset too. C'mon let's just go! (In verge of crying to Nina)

NINA

Get up and stop crying already. Your cousin will come anytime soon to fetch you

(She firmly told her daughter and left the bed to get Rosanne luggage)

SETTING: in front of Minerva and Theodore house at San Carlos

AT RISE: the married couple facing Rosanne in four seater table

MINERVA

Look at you, you've grown! We miss you! Let's go inside for you to eat and i could hear your tummy making earth shuttering noises (hyperbole)

(She beamed happily after she hugged her youngest sister tight. Guiding her to enter the house while Theodore takes the luggage to put in the room for Rosanne)

MINERVA

You never change. You still eat, like someone will steal your food (simile)

(She affectionately looking to her youngest sister while holding her husband arms)

THEODORE

Eat slowly San. The food won't run (personification)

(He reprimand Rosanne when Rosanne accidentally drop the fork)

ROSANNE

Sorry about that. I was travelling for 9 hours straight and my muscles are aching (metonymy) because the wheels (synecdoche) had been moving nonstop.

(She apologized after she drank water)

ROSANNE

And the whole journey had been hell since I was been with Carlos the devil (metaphor). He kept doing all those stupid pranks! I could even sleep!

(She whines being her usual self and the married couple just laugh)

TIME

Saturday night May of 1993.

Synopsis

While we are young, we sometimes found love that just bound to hurt and teach us. We met someone that we thought "the one" or "the girl boy before the one". Imagining, ourselves growing old with that someone to the rest of our lives. Year 1993 at the small town of San Carlos, there was two young lovers. As the time passed their love and fidelity was tested. Would they end up together or biggest regret and lesson to each other?

SETTING: terrace of Christina's parents

AT RISE: Rosanne seated on the bench facing the front yard and beside her was Christina

CHRISTINA

They got married last year. I mean they fight tooth and nail and they tied a knot (irony). Looking at them I still can't believe it!

(Christina animatedly narrating what Rosanne miss last year summer)

CHRISTINA

Lia went home last summer. Her dad was sick and wishes to return to this hometown. I miss her nonstop mouth. On her last letter, her father was getting better and might come back here before Christmas-

(Christina stop suddenly talking and waved her hands to the boy just enter)

CHRISTINA

What took you so long? We've been waiting for you for almost two hours.

(Christina asked the boy and the boy scratch the back of his head)

CHRISTINA

By the way this is Minerva youngest sister. Juanito meet Rosanne.

(Juanito offer a handshake to Rosanne and shyly accept it)

ROSANNE

N-nice to m-meet you

(She stuttered out of nervousness and Christina fake a cough since she notice how her friend reacted to Juanito's sudden presence)

TIME

May of 1993.

Synopsis

While we are young, we sometimes found love that just bound to hurt and teach us. We met someone that we thought "the one" or "the girl boy before the one". Imagining, ourselves growing old with that someone to the rest of our lives. Year 1993 at the small town of San Carlos, there was two young lovers. As the time passed their love and fidelity was tested. Would they end up together or biggest regret and lesson to each other?

SETTING: at the rivers town

AT RISING: Rosanne and Christina seated on the picnic blanket near the river where all their friends swimming

CHRISTINA

He's achingly handsome isn't he? (Oxymoron)

(She teasingly poking Rosanne cheeks. When she caught it stealing glances)

ROSANNE

He is... especially when he smile and the way his crinkles.

(She mindlessly replied still looking at Juanito)

ROSANNE

He's also soft spoken and really attentive when I talk. He just really deserved to be the "crush ng bayan" (understatement). Too bad, I'm going home next week. I can't here for long since mama needs me.

CHRISTINA

I know that look. I won’t let that Ursula lure your man (euphemism). I got your back and keep you posted in the next few months.

(In her promising and determining voice)

TIME

1995.

Synopsis

While we are young, we sometimes found love that just bound to hurt and teach us. We met someone that we thought "the one" or "the girl boy before the one". Imagining, ourselves growing old with that someone to the rest of our lives. Year 1993 at the small town of San Carlos, there was two young lovers. As the time passed their love and fidelity was tested. Would they end up together or biggest regret and lesson to each other?

SETTING: garden's house of Lucia and Simon house

AT RISING: Rosanne and Juanito facing his family at the dinner table

LUCIA

Finally, my son has brought a girl to introduce as his girlfriend. Nice to meet you hija

(She smiled sweetly that gave warmth feeling to the chest of Rosanne)

ANNALISE

Tonight's cold but look at him ma, blushing like some teenage boy (thermal)

(She teases his brother when he notices his brother looking at Rosanne like lovesick fool)

SIMON

Here taste this fresh pickly sweet persimmon hija

(He gives the basket of persimmon to Rosanne and Rosanne shyly took a piece)

FELICIA

Are you getting married to kuya? Like kuya Paulo?

(The youngest blurted out and the table has awkward silence)

LUCIA

So you're leaving this weekend hija?

(Lucia broke the awkward air and Rosanne nod)

ROSANNE

Sad to say but yes tita, since final semester is about to end. I need to review and pass the entire final requirement before to graduate. My mom does also need me to manage the farm that my father left to us.

(She frustrated covered her face remembering all the task she need to do when she get home)

JUANITO

We'll probably see each other again after 8 months. Since my job was call of duty too. I thought after college, there will be more time for me to rest! Our general been deploying us to far places. I can't even say considering it's my duty as an army. I sometimes regret this profession, since I can't have the time to spare to talk to my girlfriend!

(His parent just laughed to his rants)

SIMON

Look at them. Back in the days, were just like them. But look at us fighting all the odds and still together after all this year

(He stared lovingly to his beloved wife)

LUCIA

You need more patient son. Being away from each other will test your loyalty that will strengthen your relationship. It worth the wait after all

(Advising the young couple and the couple took the advice in their hearts and looks each other smiling)

TIME

1998

Synopsis

While we are young, we sometimes found love that just bound to hurt and teach us. We met someone that we thought "the one" or "the girl boy before the one". Imagining, ourselves growing old with that someone to the rest of our lives. Year 1993 at the small town of San Carlos, there was two young lovers. As the time passed their love and fidelity was tested. Would they end up together or biggest regret and lesson to each other?

SETTING: At the restaurant

AT RISING: Seated in a fancy table, facing each other

JUANITO

I still remember the summertime when I first met you. I remember cursing Tina inside my head for being so persistent to invite me to join her at the disco night. Also the time I overhead you saying you like me, making me wide awake all night.

(Chuckling with the reminiscing look)

JUANITO

I thought your feelings will fade away, since you only sixteen at that time. The happiness, I felt you said yes after courting you for one year and seven months. For almost four years, those emotions you made me felt still here.

(Looking intensely at her eyes and resume)

JUANITO

The happiness I feel, whenever I see your smile. You never cease to make my heart throbbed with your simple, "I love you". How you can give me peace, no matter the world give noise. How your soft hands (tactile) and you soothing voice (auditory), can calm the rage of storm in me. How to you can turn the bitterness into sweet (gustatory). How your heart (metonymy), can fix the shambles...

(He paused when Rosanne sob even more and he shakingly popped the question)

JUANITO

Will you accept this ring and let's liver under the same roof (synecdoche) for eternity?

(Rosanne keep sobbing and abruptly stand and walked out. Juanito followed her outside in panic. He got her hand that made Rosanne stopped)

JUANITO

Did I do something wrong? Did I offend you? Am i rushing things again?

(he asked in furrowed brows. Rosanne finally face him, tears streaming in her cheeks)

I'm s-sorry... I t-tried... I s-swear!

ROSANNE

(Stammering in weak voice avoiding his gaze, while keep trying to stop her tears)

ROSANNE

I just wake up one day... I become different, a version of me i did not expect to be. I no longer perceive myself in this town. I no longer desire the life I told myself that I want to be with you back when I was that young, stupid and wild girl I used to be.

(She bravely bring out everything in the light, even though her tears betraying her)

ROSANNE

As I kept denying the truth I no longer feel the same. I kept convincing myself to stay, hoping perhaps I could bring it back. I made it worst, I lied! I lied to myself and to you...and i'm so sorry I can't make the dreams and promises we once live for.

(As her tears continue to flow, Juanito shaking his head)

JUANITO

You don't have to reciprocate. As long as you stay! I would stay, to give everything no matter what. I don't want a world without you and what the sense of this mere existence not having you what's the significant of having the success and owning the medals of recognition, without you. I would catch a bullet in every war, if you ask me to. I could survive every battle field, but not a world without you.

(He shamelessly begged and did not mind to be vulnerable)

ROSANNE

I would never forgive myself if I continue to lie and hurt you. Please love someone that also willing to give up the world to you

(And Rosanne left but Juanito stay where she left him. Maimed, Lost, Scarred, and unmoving.)

[shodansbabygirl]

High as shit, listening to a video essay about Rosanne, and journaling and I am vibing I’m having a great night I am SO glad my friends came over to help clean It’s so much weight off my shoulders 💖💓💘💝

[musicribbons]

Hello! Perhaps FredXFeMU (Robin) #32? (Cause it seems fluffy, and I need fluff!!!) Modern or canon universe, whichever is easier! (I love your Sunflower fic, btw)

Pairing: FredrobinKiss Request: #32. …to wake up

Frederick woke up first. He always did. Chuckling, he propped himself on his elbow to watch Robin sleep. It was going to be a while before she woke up. Their wedding had dragged into the late hours of three in the morning, and they had to rush to catch their flight to Rosanne. They nearly missed it.

But it was all okay now. He leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead. His beautiful new wife was fast asleep beside him in a hotel honeymoon suite overlooking the beautiful city. Frederick was the happiest man in the world.

Robin groaned before peeling open an eye. A soft smile spread on her face. “Good morning, dearest husband.”

“Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

She stretched under the sheets, wringing out the sleep from her muscles. Then, she froze. Frowning, she lifted the covers.

“Damn it.”

“What is it?”

Robin pursed her lips at Frederick. “We still haven’t consummated our union, as you would put it.”

“It’s been a long two days, love.”

“I thought you were strong proponent for traditions.”

“I am…but it’s been a long two days.”

“I swear to the gods, we had sex.”

“Well, we were about to, but you fell asleep.”

She buried her face in the pillow and said something.

“Love, I can’t hear you.”

Robin turned her head to face him. “You refused to have sex with me for six months to make this more special.”

“I didn’t refuse. We agreed that we would abstain—,” said Frederick slowly.

“And I fell asleep.”

“It’s fine, love.”

“Mmm.”

Robin made a face.

“Robin, we have two weeks to have as much sex as you want.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Frederick raised a brow.

“Help me out of this ridiculously over-priced lingerie and make love to me already.”

But before Frederick could even make the first move, her lips were on his already.

[deanmiles13]

Johnny Cash/Tables for 3

My move from Indiana to Tucson was my transition into adulthood. The trip was on a Greyhound bus and was my first time ever being further west than St. Louis.

I moved into my fathers place which was located on a “reservation”. The domicile we shared was a travel trailer. Just a step up from the pop up kind.The kind you can spit from one end to the other. It was THAT small.

It sucked living there with a stranger basically, and I hated it. I actually looked forward to school, which was a rarity. I took the bus from our way out post, to the school located a few miles away. Almost every day on the trip home, we would get off the bus a stop or two early, just to watch a fight. It was always the typical fights, but these Mexican kids always made up after. It was cool. 

Going to the school I went to, was wild. I was one of about 50 white kids attending. The rest were Mexican Americans or Native American. 

When I moved out to Tucson, I was thinking this was gonna be some real punk rock landing pad. Little did I know where I was going to land. Coming from the midwest I was used to getting shit for the way I dressed. Alot…

I never really got hassled at my new school. At Cholla, everyone seemed to respect the fact that I stood out and went out on a limb to do so. But every once in a while, I did have a couple of goofballs that would yell out “Hey Sid Vicious!” They seemed to have fun doing it. They laughed at themselves more than at me and the way they talked it seemed they knew WHO Sid Vicious at was. 

Finally one day, I “confronted” them. “What’s up with the SID VICIOUS stuff, man?” 

They just busted out laughing and invited me to lunch with them. We were friends from that moment forward.

The lunch’s at this school meant you could leave campus to pursue other options. In Indiana, that was never the case, we couldn’t even leave the parking lot. We were pretty removed and it was a haul to get food around there. When I first learned we could leave for lunch here in Tucson, I was blown away.In this new situation, I often found myself not wanting to return for the second half of the day.

But these two guys, Joe and Adam, are my new besties. We go to record stores and music stores and I even start to stay with their families at night so I don’t have to make the journey all the way out to my dads. Unbelievable kindness I was shown by total strangers.They are of Mexican descent and there parents are pretty much the kindest people I have ever encountered. They must have totally known what was up when I was around there houses. They fed me, and looked the other way as I climbed in and out of there windows at night to sleep in a safe place.

Adam and Joe also are musicians. And this is a HUGE plus. 

Adam plays guitar and is hugely influenced by Peter Buck of R.E.M. and Joe plays a Gibson S.G. bass. They both have a wacky sense of humor. A ton of inside jokes between them and just a real loose attitude. I would like to think they were EMO way before that was even a thing.

They don’t drink and they love the Descendants. We would listen to records in Adams room and talk about them. Sometimes, he would just take it off the turntable and give the record to me if he didn’t like it. That happened a few times. We would jam on his guitar and play tunes. They also are forming a band.

And needed a drummer. 

See, when I moved out to Arizona, I had pretty much put the drums behind me and was giving the guitar ALL my attention. I practiced a lot and loved the instrument. I would hole up in my dads trailer with Zero Boys on my walkman and the guitar plugged into my amp. I just played all day long out there in that hot tin can.

But, drummers were as rare as hens teeth in Tucson and these guys offered to buy me a drum set if I played in their band. Count me in like Dee Dee Ramone.

My dad had usually called me up around Christmas every year with the same shameful call… “So, what are you into? Drums huh?!?! Maybe I’ll get you a drum set for Christmas!” Man, I heard that for years and the balls it must have taken him to get the courage up to make that call. To lie to his own kids face. Over and over… Well, not literally to his face.

And here these home boys wanted to buy me a drum set? TODAY?!?!

MY first ever drum kit was bought by Adam Lopez. A friend that was working as a bus boy.

More on that in a minute…

Thank you Adam. My gratitude is eternal. 

He took me downtown Tucson to the legendary Chicago Store. That place deserves a story of its own for sure....

Now, Adam always seemed to have a little extra scratch to spend. I was broke as shit all the time. I remember asking him one day how he got all this “cash” he had. He told me he worked as a bus boy at night at an Italian Restaurant. This had my interest. “Hey, If they ever need any help, let me know” I offered. It was almost immediately that I got the job. We would carpool together from school and then I would crash at Adam’s. 

I would sneak in and out the window in the morning so his parents wouldn’t know. They eventually found out, and when they did, they insisted that I stay in the guest house that was outfitted for Adam’s older brother to live in. He was away at the time and this was an awesome opportunity for me. I would actually stay in the park across the street from Adams house sometimes just so I wouldn’t jeopardize  him getting in trouble or me wearing out my welcome

.

So, at this point, we are attached at the hip and if I remember correctly, it was Adam who was going to a new school. It was an alternative H.S. called Project MORE. This was exactly what I needed.

The restaurant we worked at was called Scordatos and it’s kind of a big deal in Tucson. From memory, it was basically an “upscale” Italian joint. The location seemed to add to the overall “allure” of the place.

When hired, I was alerted to the movie stars who would wonder in from time to time. 3 Amigos had just filmed in Old Tucson and I had heard that Steve Martin had come into the restaurant recently. It was talked about in hushed tones and secrecy. We were told in no uncertain terms to NEVER approach the guest.

Makes perfect sense. They are out for a nice dinner and don’t want the attention or the hassle. I GET IT…..

And then it happened!!!

It was just another normal shift. Take out the trash, feed the leftover lettuce to the Javelina that wondered down from the hills at dusk. Back inside, change the linens, get the silverware, wipe the booths down and be seen and not heard. Also, stay out of the way of the waiters and their guest. This was my first real taste of work and I was just getting the whole feel of my place and getting my timing right. So, I was changing a table’s linen one night. I happened to be about two tables from the door where customers come in from the outside. Just as the floating table clothe lands on the table, the door opens. About 3-4 people come in. Just fuzzy shapes to my peripheral vision. 

Not really noticing faces or anything… 

They stand for about 10 seconds waiting for staff to help them and no one is coming to help them as I continue my work and stay out of the way. Then the room starts to go silent. The phrase “Can kill conversation, just by walking in a room”? That was this situation to a tee. Forks hit the plates and you just heard clanking silverware, murmurs and whispers. 

I looked up from the forks and spoons I was setting and notice the party had moved closer to ME as I seemed to be the only “Help” that was there. As, I go to give them a standard greeting like “My name is Dean, and someone will be right with you.”, I look at their faces for the first time really. 

It was like seeing Mt. Rushmore or something for the first time. Something so familiar is staring right back at you. I takes a second to register that this is a face you’ve seen a million times before. On TV? On album covers? So familiar but foreign because of the reality of the situation.

“I’m Johnny Cash” the tall man of the party says as he extends his long arm and shakes my hand.

By this time, it sunk in that this was indeed, the man in black. 

JC- Johnny F’n Cash.

I watched his show on TV growing up. My grandparents listened to him. My parents listened to him. He was synonymous with AMERICA. The gravity of the situation was swirling in my head.

When we shook hands, the rest of the group started to take focus. He was there with June Carter and his daughter Rosanne Cash. Un Frickin’ Believable….

I worried for a nano second about my job and the policy I knew they had about guest. Maybe they would take it easy on me? In truth, I didn’t care AND I didn’t  get in trouble at all. 

But, I did get to meet the Man in Black and the most important women in his life. 

While a very brief encounter, this sticks with me today.

It’s about time and place. Synchronistic stuff.  

I probably would have lost my mind if I had worked a different day and had missed my shot. 

But as fate would have it… we met.

I honored him the day of my marriage. When I married the most important woman in my life. 

Darcy and I had planned to sing “If I were a carpenter” at our wedding. We practiced for a month or two before the big day. Me on guitar and her doing the June Carter parts. 

We were married on Sept. 13th. 2003.

It was Sept. 12th  2003 when Johnny Cash passed away.

As fate would have it…

[geminimoonbeamx]

Naive: Part 2

A/N: I’m so freaking happy you guys seemed to like the intro, I wrote this and a few other chapters up in one night! Hopefully I can get you guys as hyped as I am for this story

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Just cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. The stirrings of sexual tension. The big stuffs coming next time though you guys I promise lol

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye. 💘💘💘💘💘💘

You’ve been at the tower for close to five-ish days now, and you’re still trying to get reaccoustomed to the enormity of the building.

Had it always been so fucking big?

You’d think since you we’re older now, it should have shrunk a bit. You know, size relativity and all that? If anything now that you we’re older you had the mental capacity to process just how freakishly huge this building was. The man tower is over sixty floors.

…that gave you a lot of opportunity to get totally lost. All the time.

You’d never had the greatest internal navigation system in the first place. You could get lost down the street from your house.

“I don’t know where I am! I’m between a Del Taco and a Walgreens”

You’d made many a lost phone call that sounded just like that.

You’d probably text Tony and ask him exactly what floor the main gym was on but 1) he’d tease you and ask “How exactly do you plan on playing Lara Croft all over the world and you cant find your way to the gym” and 2) it was three thirty in the morning.

You we’re irritated, being up this early when you didn’t have to. Especially when within the next few weeks you’d be starting adult life again and you’d have no choice but to wake up at the ass crack of dawn. It felt like a waste of precious sleep.

But no matter how hard you’d tried, it was no use. You’d smoked an entire joint of indica. Made chamomile tea- meditated until it felt like you we’re going to scream. Everything. And yet you couldn’t manage to get comfortable in the king sized, memory foam mattress.

Starting to come down off of the medication hadn’t been as awful as you and Tony had both been fearing. You we’re a little jittery- your anxiety acting up more then normal but you weren’t all strung the hell out and pale with sunken in eyes. You weren’t crying, hunched up in a corner begging for death or your next fix.

You we’re tired though. Exhausted and yet somehow couldn’t sleep. Your body just wouldn’t let you.

Why? Why lort? Sleeping was your favorite activity in the world. Dreaming an actual hobby of yours.

“This is bullshit” You complained to Tony a few days ago. You we’re going on 48 hours with close to no sleep. “I feel like I did like a kilo of Cocaine”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. You don’t know what cocaine feels like. That’s what I’m going to choose to believe” He had given you a pointed look when the both of you sat in his lab “Look kid, we knew there would be some side effects. It should ware off within the week, as your body gets used to this lower dosage. I can have the doc prescribe you some sleeping pills?”

You’d thought on it for a moment before denying it. You didn’t really wanting to be taking more meds right now.

“Alright, when you change your mind come find me” Tony had sighed. Your head was full of cement. Just like Jamie’s had been.

So since you didn’t take prescription- you figured you we’re going to have to find another way.

Your brilliant idea; run your body down until it had no choice but to crash.

It takes you another close to fifteen minutes before you find the main gym. It’s just a luxurious and lush as the rest of the building; three stories high. The top two floors looking over the large basket ball court. The equipment was state of the art and the various metal machines gleamed. You figured you’d do some cardio and then some weight lifting. Double whammy yourself.

People who have the pre conceived notion that fat people never work out are stupid. Point blank.

What, do they think people like you just sit on couches and stuff their mouths with twinkies while watching Rosanne…well that actually sounded like a good ass time but still.

You’d always been active, always loved going on hikes and exploring zoo’s and Museums and beaches for hours. Plus hadn’t anyone realized that shopping was the most hardcore cardio there was? And you lived to shop. After your mom- you’d needed to do something. To keep your mind clear and that is how your relationship with working out had come to be. You didn’t do it to lose weight, you did it to work on your health. Mental mostly, but your physical health came with that. Yeah you had a belly and thunder thighs. You also had kick ass blood pressure and strong calves.

You slip your headphones in after switching on your “Get it gurllll” playlist and hopping onto one of the elliptical machines, putting your water bottle in the holder before turning on the machine to pick your traction, starting at a decent pace.

The music shuffles from Amy Winehouse to J. Cole, to Lana Del Rey and Fleetwood Mac. Everyone had always teased you that you liked to work out to slow songs. It was something about the melody that got you moving. You go through song after song, keeping up your pace until your legs are screaming in protest and your breaths are labored.

With the blaring music in your ears, you don’t notice when someone else enters the room.

Bucky always came to workout early, usually getting the gym to himself. It’s not even that he liked the quiet or being alone or any of that- even though it was nice to not have Sam’s annoying, booming voice around. No, it was because he didn’t have anything else to do. When he woke up from the nightmares that still frequented him, he figured he should do something with all of that pent up energy, so he’d come to the empty gym and work his muscles until he could barley move.

He wasn’t used to the lights already being on when he got there.

He takes the steps to the cardio machine and stops in his tracks for a moment at the sight infront of him.

Y/N’s there, on an elliptical. He can hear the music in your ears from his spot across the floor, so he knew there was no way you could have heard him come in. Your working hard, your body straining in your skin tight leggings. Your silky ponytail bobs with your efforts, your breaths coming out in little pants. He can feel the look on his face. What were you doing here this early?

Should he leave? Was that weird, if he left after seeing that you was there? Surely this place was big enough for the two of you.

He thinks it’s probably smart to make his presence known, he’s just about to call for you when you stop and turn your head.

“OH HOLY FUCKING FUCK!” You cry in shock, your eyes wide with surprise as you yank the headphones from your ears before grabbing your chest, almost falling off the machine.

Bucky stands there, his own eyes big and his hands shooting up in a “sorry, I’m harmless” kind of way. A wordless surrender.

When your bell like laughter echo’s around him he relaxes a little bit “Bucky you scared the living crap out of me”

You accuse, good naturedly, still holding your hoodie clad chest.

“I’m sorry, It’s usually dead at this time so I kind of just barged in. I didn’t realize anyone is here” He explains himself. Leaving out the fact that he’d taken a moment to look at the way your thighs joggled in the spandex, of course.

You don’t know why you feel so…hot. Are your cheeks burning? No? It’s just your body reacting to the heart attack you’d almost just had.

“No, you’re good. Just give a girl a little warning next time, okay?” You chuckle as look down at the touch screen of the machine. You’d been on it for over an hour. You grab your water bottle and hop off. He hides his smile at how short your legs are.

“I’ll make sure to do that. So what are you doin’ up so early?” He hopes his attempt to make conversation didn’t sound as forced as it felt.

“I couldn’t sleep so I figured I might as well come try to run myself until I can knock out. You? I thought that you and Steve and Sam have some sort of fitness club?” You walk over to him, giving him a small smile before passing him on your way to the weights section. He shakes his head with a low chuckle and follows you,

Not because he was - like- following you. But because he was going to warm up with some lifting anyway.

You plop down on one of the leg lifts “You an insomniac like me?”

“Somethin’ like that. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and figured somethin’ the same” Bucky goes over and lays out flat on one of the work benches, adjusting the weights.

“Hmm great minds think alike then” You croon. You hadn’t really gotten the chance to get to know him yet. Yeah, the two of you had talked in passing. At dinner. When you we’re messing with Steve. But never alone like this.

Damn. Did he look GOOD in those gray sweatpants.

“They do. How long have you been here” Bucky inquires as he grabs onto the weight bar and begins to lift. It’s nothing major. Not to him. Just three hundred pounds- on each side.

You watch him with wonder at the ease his arms move with.

You know its weird, but its hot seeing someone being able to bench that much with little effort…you wonder how easily he’d be able to bench you…

“Like an hour?” You answer him, tearing your eyes away from him.

Huh, he thinks. You’d been working out like that on the elliptical for an hour? You didn’t even look that winded.

“You work out a lot?” He feels like an idiot the moment it comes out of his mouth and your laughter doesn’t make it any better.

“What are you trying to say, huh?” You’re not mad, mostly just seizing the opportunity to tease him.

“Nothing! I just meant that you- uh- looked good up there. Like you don’t even look tired” He tries to unjumble his words, feeling like a total fucking bozo all the way.

“Yeah? Thanks. I spent the summer sight seeing in Europe which meant hiking like everywhere. I sweat I climbed like a gazillion steps. I guess it strengthened my core”

“Where in Europe did you go exactly?” He decides to go with a safer topic. Hoping he wont continue to make a total ass out of himself. He’d happened to have done his fair share of hiking that continent.

“All over but I mostly Italy. I spent a few weeks in Greece though, those we’re my favorite” You sound wistful. And that’s how it starts.

Bucky used to be able to spark up a conversation with just about anyone. Back before- back when he was younger, he could keep a conversation flowing like no one’s business. Steve had always idolized the way the people just seemed to like the guy. But it had been hard to get back to that now. Yeah, he wasn’t nearly as quiet as he’d been back in Romania, but he still didn’t talk. For hours. With near strangers.

Which is why he’s surprised he’s able to with you.

The conversation was bubbling, like a brook, ebbing and lively. He found himself wanting, almost needing to hear your little stories and opinions and jokes. You’d both abandoned working out and just sat on the machines, laughing and talking.

He learned that you liked to tease- a lot. Nearly everything was a joke with you. Your sense of humor sharp and sarcastic. Your nature playful and inviting.

You tell him stories from Europe and then about the tower and being here when you we’re younger with Tony. And in turn, surprisingly, he tells you a couple of his own stories back. A couple that he could actually remember. What it was like living in Romania- not knowing a lick of the language before hand. How fucking awkward he still felt as he adjusted to the 21st century.

“So lets get this straight, you’ve been de-iced for almost three years and you haven’t watched Harry Potter?” Your tone is dead serious and he grins and shakes his head.

“Nah”

“Or Lord of the Rings?”

“Negative”

“Or Star Wars?”

“Is that the one with the little green guy?”

“Yes!”

“I caught a little of it when Tony was watchin’ it”

“Oh my god, Bucky. I can’t. This is fucking blasphemous. I mean Lord of the Rings and Star Wars I guess could wait, I GUESS…But Harry Potter?! Harry Potter is the best thing this generation has to give! It will change your life!” The pure passion in your voice is almost palpable. Why cant he stop smiling?

“I guess I’ve been really missing out, haven’t I?”

“Yes! You have! Ugh, okay we’re going to have to have a movie night ASAP. It is just unacceptable for us to be living under the same roof and you haven’t seen a single Harry Potter movie” He thinks your kidding but your really not.

You don’t play about Potter, okay?!

When you check your phone and see the time your eyes bulge a little. You’d been sitting talking to him for nearly three hours.

“Oh shit, is it really almost seven?” You cant believe it. It really didn’t feel like you’d been here for that long.

“Is it?” Bucky sits up a little, not believing it either.

“Yeah” You bite you lip as you look at him for a moment, before standing “I should probably go and see if I can get any sleep at all”

He masks the small disappointment he feels at your words “Of course”

“It was really cool talking to you. I’m serious about our marathon! I have to school you on the most important stuff” You’re voice is flirty. As fuck. You don’t even know if you mean for it to be as you look down at him. He tries to tear his eyes from your face- and fails. Twice. Before he’s able to.

“Yeah uh, just tell me when”

“Definitely. Goodnight Bucky…or I guess Morning?” You giggle on your way out. He watches your retreating figure until your out of sight before he lets out huff and reclines hardly back. The machine sighs in protest. He fixes his eyes on the ceiling as he deals with the stirring in his head. The one though he can clearly decipher is…

Fuck.

Because although he’d liked having Tony not at his throat, he doesn’t see how he’s going to be able to stay away from you. No wonder Steve had gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

—–

So I just had to pump out another part for you guys! I hope you like it! Tell me what you think? Do you like the dynamic between them yet? Does Y/N just seem like a little hoe? Do you want to be tagged. Tell me ya'lllllllllll.

@devenrenee @skeletoresinthebasement @kendallefire @mellifluousbabe @toniinhere @agentmstark @purplekitten30 @bellaballanda @yslbucky @arabellaaurorabarnes @prinxessofspace @supernaturally-lucky @sngforme @kyritha

[hotteetrend]

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[belladonaofylisse-blog]

i finally got off my lazy ass and finished kanza’s ref + bio.

CHARACTER INFORMATION.

NAME: Kanza Nimri ( Codename — Dove ) GENDER: Female ( cis ) AGE: 20 years old DATE OF BIRTH: December 30th HEIGHT: 5’6” NATIONALITY: Plegian CLASS: Duelist ( Secondary — Cleric + Tactician ) BATTLE SKILL: Charm — -2 Atk and Def when unit initiates an attack, 1 turn cooldown OCCUPATION: Member of the Beasts gang, gathers information. FAMILY:

Koda — Twin Sister ( Dancer, Alive )

VOICE:

Brianna Knickerbocker ( ENG ) Eimi Okada ( JPN )

HISTORY.

Much like Koda, Kanza tends to keep her past a secret to many. Though, she is much more willing to talk about how it affected her. The only person she has currently talked about her past to is Falcon. After being separated from Koda, Kanza wandered around Ylisse until she was able to find passage to Rosalm. Upon arriving in Rosanne, she was quick to try to find work, but with little success. Having to sleep in the streets, Kanza tried to keep a positive outlook, but even she couldn’t find anything good about her current situation. Thankfully, Falcon stumbled upon her one night and decided to take her in. While reluctant at first to trust him, she quickly came around after being given some warm food and an actual bed to sleep in. For a time, Kanza didn’t think much about her new caretakers, they seemed like good people despite being rather secretive and often sneaking out of the tavern at night, but her curiosity eventually got the best of her. Following Falcon while on a mission, she found out about his role in the Beasts. She was ready to run off before Falcon noticed her presence, but upon hearing the sound of a rifle being loaded, she quickly reached for her gun and shot the man pointing said rifle at Falcon’s head. Swiftly getting what he came for and hustling Kanza off, Falcon took her back to the tavern and sat her down for a talk. Kanza insisted on helping Falcon in whatever he was doing, saying she wanted to be of use to his cause. After hearing her out, he agreed to help her impress Lioness and get her into their gang. Soon enough, Kanza finally found a new home in the Beasts, becoming their information gatherer.

PERSONALITY.

Kanza is generally cheerful and boastful young woman who often shamelessly expresses herself and deals with others with a casual playfulness. Snarky and somewhat arrogant, she can come off as a jerk to some, but she tries to intercut these tendencies with her sweet and caring nature. She often flirts with others ( mostly other females ), but will stop if she is told to or realizes that they are uncomfortable or taken. She can be overly emotional at times, as well. Others tend to describe her as tomboyish, being so quick to fight others and being rather brash. Despite this, Kanza is quite good at putting on a prim and proper front when talking to someone she wishes to impress or trick. She seems to be rather good at acting, being able to play any part to get the information she needs. With her natural ability to charm others with ease, she rarely has to use force to get what she wants, but is willing to do so if need be. Due to her past, she does not like being yelled at or demeaned in any kind of way. She also seems somewhat sensitive to being touched like Koda, but this usually only leads to her flinching and getting a little scared when suddenly being touched.

OTHER FACTS.

— Kanza is pansexual, but mostly prefers girls. She also flirts with males and other genders, but she rarely does so. ( For instance, she flirted with Pyrros when she first met him. ) — Kanza helps run the bar in the Beast’s traven, she is surprisingly good at mixing drinks for someone who isn’t old enough to drink yet. — She likes to fiddle with her gun often, usually twirling it around when she’s sitting around bored. She’s hit herself in the face with her gun before while she was doing this. — Kanza is currently unaware of Koda’s whereabouts, but has heard rumors about a dancer working for a group of sailors which she believes might be her sister. — She considers Falcon to be her father figure and occasionally calls him “ Dad. “ — She wears shorts under her skirt so she can kick up her legs without worrying about people seeing her underwear. — Kanza and Koda are fraternal twins, this is why Kanza has a different figure from Koda and doesn’t have heterochromia.

[healthypowereddrinkcoffee-blog]

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[tell--your--world]

Rising From the Ashes: On Conquering Creative Burnout

Guest post written by Grayseeker.

I have a long-standing pattern in my creative life. I'll get the spark of an idea, throw myself into it full force, and continue slogging away until my stamina gives out. This can take months or years, but inevitably a day will come when I look at my creative project and wonder whether drinking hot lead might be preferable to spending another moment even thinking about it. The sensible solution? Take a break, of course. So I do. I stop writing, sometimes for years, until a fresh, irresistible idea comes along and the cycle begins anew.

Four year ago, an idea came along that I refused to give up on. This story mattered so much to me that I decided I would face and conquer my personal demons of perfectionism, self-sabotage and eventual burnout. Don't get me wrong; I've experienced all those things in the course of working on my (still ongoing) series. Last August I finally had to admit that I'd reached the hot lead stage of my cycle, and was at a crossroads. I could continue in my old, self-destructive ways, or I could break free.

The key to breaking a negative cycle is, as it turns out, to do something *different*. Of course that's easier said than done. Falling into one's old, familiar patterns can be comforting. It can feel safe. The results might not be pleasant, but at least you know what to expect. Breaking the cycle means stepping outside one's comfort zone. It means being open to new ideas and new processes. It can also require sacrifice. Not the bloody kind fortunately, but it can certainly demand that you let go of certain attachments, especially where it comes to beliefs about what you're capable of. Most of all, it takes courage.

In August, I took a break from writing for about two weeks. That was necessary, but it was also scary. I wasn't certain I'd be able to go back to working on my series, and sure enough, I didn't feel ready to start writing again at the end of the two weeks. However, I wasn't going to let this project go by the wayside the way I had with so many others before it. I had to do something to break the cycle. I had to do something *different*.

What follows is an outline of what worked for me. I'm not claiming it's a universal cure for creative burnout, but I think it's a solid approach. Keep in mind that although I'm primarily talking to writers here, these tips can be adapted to other forms of creative expression quite easily. If you're looking for a more comprehensive resource on the topic, I  highly recommend the book, "Around The Writer's Block" by Rosanne Bane. Her approach is based on brain science, and it demystifies writers' block, making it seem less like a character flaw on the part of the writer, and more like a natural response to stress. These tips are partly inspired by her work, as well as my own experiences. I've divided them into four steps:

1: Do a general wellness check.

Are you sleeping enough? Eating properly? Drinking enough water? Getting appropriate levels of exercise? What about your emotional environment? Are you under stress at work? Dealing with relationship problems or financial difficulties? Trouble in any of these areas can be a killer on creativity. Obviously this doesn't mean that your life hasto be perfect before you can make art. If that were true, there wouldn't be that many artists around! But it *is* true that creativity doesn't happen from nothing. It's mentally, emotionally and, yes, physically taxing work, and you need to be taking care of yourself in all areas of your life if you want to be a happy, productive creator over the long term.

2: Show up - and make that your definition of success.

Stephen King once said, "Your job is to make sure the muse knows where you're going to be every day from nine 'til noon, or seven 'til three. If he does know, I assure you that sooner or later he'll start showing up." I love this quote because first of all, I find it cool that Mr. King's muse is also a "he," like mine, and second - when you really think about what he's saying - it takes off a lot of the pressure, doesn't it? Your job is not to show up and be brilliant, or inspired, or to hit a certain word count. Heck, your job isn't even to *write*. It's just to show up.

Schedule a time-slot for your creativity; then show up for it as consistently as you would for a job. This might sound daunting, especially if your life is hectic (see Step 1), but it isn't necessary to set aside a large chunk of time. Ten minutes a day, a couple of hours a week; whatever you can manage is fine. If you write nothing during your scheduled time-slot, that is also fine. If you showed up, that was a success. You are making space in your life for creativity, and because nature abhors a vacuum, something will eventually bubble up to fill it.

But what if it doesn't, you ask? What if I *still* can't write?

Believe me, I've been there. I've stared down a blank screen or sheet of paper, willing the words to come. I've also obsessively re-edited the same page, or paragraph, or sentence fifty different ways in the belief that it must be "perfect" before I can continue with the story. (That one's tricky; it *feels* like I'm doing work, but it's actually an insidious form of self-sabotage.) Then there's the good old existential crisis, where you mentally add up the number of hours you've spent trying to write and wonder if there isn't something better - or at least less frustrating - you could be doing with your life.

So here's the thing. I believe in setting aside a time-slot for creativity, and consistently showing up for it, but I *don't* believe in sitting in front of a blank screen feeling frustrated and miserable. Because as much as you can tell yourself that just showing up is the definition of success, well… I don't know about you, but there's a part of me that really needs to be doing *something*. So I invented a third step in my process, which is:

3. Spend time with your project, even if you're not writing.

I brainstormed a list of activities that were related to my project, yet didn't involve writing, and spent my regular writing shifts working on those. This worked incredibly well for me. I was able to take a break without losing touch with my project, and I was able to feel as if I was accomplishing something. What kinds of activities might you consider as writing substitutes? Every project is unique, as is every writer, but hopefully the list below will spark some ideas:

Switch between projects: I know, this isn't exactly "not writing," but it could just be that you need to switch gears. If you're working on an epic, try writing something short, or something that has a different mood. For example, if you're in the middle of a long, angst-filled series, you might try writing a light-hearted side story about one of your characters. You could also try writing in a different voice or a different tense. You could also try a different format, such as poetry or epistolary (a story told in the form of letters, emails or texts between your characters).

Work on your world: Are there elements of your project that require charts, diagrams, maps, timelines, genealogies and the like? Have you been putting those off in favor of forging ahead with writing? If you've been neglecting some of these tasks, consider devoting a few of your regular writing shifts to working on them. They engage the linear part of your mind, which gives your creative side a much-needed breather. When you *do* get back to writing, you'll do so with a more solid grasp of your world and the confidence boost that comes with it.

Get visual: What do your characters look like? What does your world look like? What is the design of your heroine's sword or spaceship? If you enjoy drawing, consider making some sketches. If not, try making a collage instead. Gather images that remind you of your story, your world and your characters, and make a collage that describes them in visual form. If you write fanfiction, spend some time browsing fanart of your characters. Doing this will allow you to immerse yourself in your world and characters without the pressure to create words, and can lead to all kinds of new ideas.

Get auditory: Do you draw creative inspiration from music? Many of us do, including yours truly. If there are songs that remind you of your world, your story or characters, make yourself some playlists.

Get inspired: What inspired your creative project? Chances are there was something, whether a book, game, television series, movie, comic, or just a subject area that you find fascinating. Whatever it is, try immersing yourself in that. You will be getting back to the roots of whatever it was that set you on this creative journey in the first place, your personal wellspring of inspiration. That can only be a good thing.

Step Four: Assess what worked.

Once you're writing again (and I'm confident you will be), it's time to plan ahead. How can you avoid burnout in the future? Think about the factors that contributed to your burnout, as well as the strategies that helped you overcome it, and come up with a personalized burnout-prevention strategy. Maybe you need a day off each week, or to start getting to bed half an hour earlier than you had been, or become more physically active, or take up a relaxing hobby. It will definitely mean paying attention to your energy level, and your level of enthusiasm for your project. Notice the early warning signs, and take action; don't wait until you're at the hot lead stage before giving yourself a break. Your creative spark is as unique as you are. Nurture it, and yourself, with kindness and respect.

[vegvisirtheway]

Watching ‘Rosanne’ with the dogs! I really need to pack my stuff to move eventually but little miss is sleeping in my room so I’ll do it eventually when someone is here to watch and hold her. Or I can put her in the swing that I just put fresh batteries in so it actually swings on its own! I’m doing laundry today and eventually making my way to target to pick up a new hand pump for when I’m out of the house. Mine somehow broke….. Like broke broke. It won’t even suck anymore. Now I gotta get little miss up here soon and give her a bath… First time on my own… I’m kinda freaking out but I think it will go good. Im Gonna use a nice wash cloth to lay on her chest and she just loves it. I love my little bean! I love love love her!

[morcinder]

Ash’s Birth

Erico and Vera were so excited for their baby. Children were so rare in such a bleak and literally dark world. They were so excited and happy. A baby of their own.

Dale and Warren took their family and moved to a bigger house, with room for Erico and Vera and their new baby. (Possibly two, twins did run in the family after all). Dale did his best and read a lot of scrounged prenatal care books so he could take care of Vera, she was healthy, Dale tended to her carefully and regulated her diet, Joni who lived not too far away in her own little farm made from scrounged tech brought them food on a regular basis. Even Liz managed to make a couple of appearances during the pregnancy though he was fundamentally repulsed by the whole idea of birth as a general rule.

Roxanne was delighted, Rosanne was sewing a brand new hoard of little baby clothes in ascending size to clothe the tiny little life for at least a couple of months. Probably too many baby clothes, but they were all excited. Erico and Vera had a long and extended argument on whether they were naming the baby the gender neutral Ashton or Mikel/Nahia, and Erico lost the final coin toss. Things were good.

The problems started a little less than a month before Vera was actually expected to give birth. Without warning, while Erico wasn’t home, her labor started. They had a plan, very carefully organized with all sorts of ‘what ifs’ and ‘here’s what we’ll dos’ and suddenly none of them mattered because Vera was giving birth early without warning. It was panic, but a controlled panic at least.

Vera was healthy, her pregnancy had been normal, but the birth was miles away from that. The labor lasted for sixteen hours and she was in agonized tears no matter how Dale tried to soothe her pain, even while Roxanne and Rosanna tried to hold her hands and support her. Warren was almost as agitated, pacing and snapping his fangs in worry as the family’s emotions buffeted him. He retreated into the garage to modify the incubator he had made, meant to keep the baby warm, but now possibly just to keep the baby alive and breathing.

Baby Ashton was born with a few scraggles of red hair that Vera was proud of, but she was born so thin and small, smaller than Halley and Levy had been when they were born. She didn’t cry, just made a sort of weak little whine through her shallow uneven breaths. Vera wanted to hold her, but Dale gently talked her down as they quickly moved Ash to the incubator as fast and as gently as they could. Ash didn’t open her eyes very soon either. It was hours before she squinted them open. Her eyes were a beautiful, but average green, the green her mothers might have been before Vera’s powers came to her.  

Vera cried and held the incubator close to her. Dread settled over them all. Dale had no explanation for it, the fetus had seemed healthy up until now. He couldn’t detect any injury or obvious problem but Ash was just...weak. Erico was terrified. If Neph were there she would have known what to do with confidence, but Nephrita had been transferred inside World Systems and she had dropped off the radar and no one knew where she was now.

All of their plans, the first month, second month learning, the baby duty rotations so that everybody got to take responsibility for her and get to play with the baby were thrown out. Vera was upset anew when Dale told her that she couldn’t breastfeed or hold Ash very much because she was so small and didn’t have the normal fat necessary for most babies, but Vera cooperated. Ash was fed very slowly and gently through a tube and Vera continued to cry a lot. The tube seemed sufficient though and Dale ripped frantically through medical textbooks and reported he didn’t see a necessity for an IV for Ash- yet. She was still growing and after a week or two her skin finally took on a healthy pallor.

They kept the incubator near Vera at all times, and the other adults took turns watching and taking care of Ash, and gave Vera time to sleep, or walk around and do normal human things to recover. Erico couldn’t be pried away from his daughter though, except by force by Warren a couple of times who kept forcing him to keep functioning against his own wishes.

Ash eventually started to cry in earnest, and kick her incubator. They took the tube away from her and they were delighted to find that Ash latched onto Vera’s breast and fed with no problems at all. Erico and Vera cried together that time. Things were getting better. They were finally even able to let Halley and Levy hold Ash, and they puzzled over her like she was some sort of rare and fascinating animal. But they smiled at her and it looked sweet to the adults eyes.

And then Ash stopped breathing.

One night Erico, without knowing why, sat up bolt upright in bed next to Vera. Their snatches of sleep were rare now that Ash was crying healthily every four hours or so for food. But he could feel something was wrong. He scrabbled out of bed, nearly kicking his sleeping wife, and was at Ash’s side where she was tucked into the mechanically warmed crib. He realized instantly what had woken him up. Her raspy sleeping breaths weren’t there anymore and she was rapidly turning blue.

“Vera!” He cried in horror and alarm, sweeping his baby up and out the door before Vera could even open her eyes. Erico barreled in to Dale and Rosanna’s room jolting them awake, and Dale, thank god, acted quickly. He took Ash from him and started performing the baby CPR he had aggressively studied.

Warren and Vera were in the doorway by then, and Erico gathered Vera into his arms and held her tight while they watched his brother try to save her. He breathed gently into her nose and mouth and compressed her chest with two fingers. And again, and again, and again. Sweat started to build up on Dale’s forehead, and tears in the mans eyes. God why wouldn’t she breathe? He looked up into Erico’s eyes, and he saw the resigned grief in Dale’s face. Her heart was still barely beating but god, she just wouldn’t breathe.

No.

Erico let go of Vera and snatched his daughter back from Dale, and though there were several startled shouts as a sky blue flashed from his eyes, no one tried to stop Erico from what he was doing.

Transferring a little bit of life to a plant, or a small animal, or bringing a dead seed into a sprout was no big deal, but transferring his energy to Ash hurt and took more than he ever had before. He tore his own life away and fed it in to his child. A blue glow washed over them both and sank into Ash’s skin. A horrible, horrible weakness tore through Erico and he would have dropped Ash if Warren wasn’t there to snatch her up as Vera stopped him from collapsing to the floor entirely.

She started to wail and they were all extremely relieved, but Erico wiped blood from his eyes.

Erico was sick as a dog for two solid weeks. He had never been more ill in his life, he could barely get up by himself to go to the bathroom and he felt his legs start to atrophy. His muscles ached and stretched just walking around. He, like his half brothers, had been a tall, strong man, and suddenly he wasn’t anymore.

Then Vera put baby Ash next to him to put her down for a nap, and she giggled, and it was worth it.

But it just didn’t stop. For the first year of Ash’s life Erico would feed her some of his own energy, and she would get better. She looked maybe a little underweight, but a healthy and happy baby. Her eyes were bright and curious and she was intelligent and alert. She babbled to mimic language when Vera would spend hours talking to her like she was a miniature adult. She showed pattern recognition at a startling early age and was an expert at manipulating people in to picking her up. But it wouldn’t last, and she would start weakening again, and then she would become ill, and Erico would rip another little piece off himself for her.

Vera wept and screamed every time it seemed like it was the end for one or both of them, but she never said no or tried to stop him. The change in his wife made him a little sick– Vera had been as fierce as the fire she wielded and full of piss and vinegar and he loved her for it, but the scary birth had changed her. Dale made a weak pass at stopping Erico exactly once and never brought it back up again in the face of the man’s fury.

But eventually it seemed to actually stick. Weeks, months, went by where Ash was just fine. She still got sick easily but it didn’t seem life threatening anymore. She got fat and she grew and babbled and threw her toys onto the floor. When it was Warren’s turn to baby her he didn’t even say anything and just carried her around in silence while she giggled like she did with nobody else. When Erico asked Warren just told him that they were playing a game- telepathically. That worried the man but Ash didn’t seem any worse for wear for it.

Erico though, got just as sick as Ash did. Even more sick, and soon more frequently. A small infection from a cut would put him in bed for a days with a fever. He lost weight and he went pale but when Erico picked up his baby girl, his little fighter, and she smiled, he didn’t even care. It was worth it.

Her eyes changed alarmingly fast though, almost as fast as Levy and Halley’s eyes had changed. On her third birthday while she trotted around the room bumping into literally everything and giggling about it, Erico picked her up and looked into her eyes and saw they were a bright, burning red. Not a trace of soft green to be seen anywhere. They were worried she had inherited Vera’s fire, a three year old that could burn things at will was not safe for anybody in the house. But she just...didn’t. Nothing happened. No spontaneous flames or smoke, No objects lifting around, no projected baby thoughts like Halley used to do, not particular extra sensitivity to the emotions of adults- not any more than any observant child. They experimentally gave her dead branches and leaves but she just tried to put them in her mouth. There was just...nothing. For the life of them they could not figure out what her power might be. Eventually they gave up and decided it would reveal itself in time. It didn’t appear when she was three, or even when she was four. Her eyes showed that there was something there, but no one knew what it might be.

Her fourth year though was the year that Vera and Erico both started developing the worst migraines of their lives. When Ash was crying her voice was like a needle in his brain digging around for the softest places to bury itself and hurt the most. With his constant illness, his weakness, and the migraines, it was a battle to keep his patience with his rambunctious screaming daughter and more often than not one of the other adults would have to take her away from him so he could lay down in the quiet and dark. Warren was her favorite, besides her mother, for reasons none of them were really sure about.

It was miserable. He was miserable. He was a miserable father because even chasing his daughter around the room wore him out so easily. How was he supposed to raise her like this? Sometimes he was even jealous of Warren for getting along with Ash so well even though Erico knew that was completely irrational and uncalled for. Erico had to keep reminding himself why he was so weak, and what this sacrifice was for. Even if he could only sit at the window and watch Vera and Ash play in the snow. It was worth it- she was worth it.

Then Halley and Levy were almost ripped away from the family, and Roxanne and Rosanna died trying to protect them. They had been friends, comrades, Roxanne had been Warren’s wife, and now they were both gone. The house grew darker, Levy and Halley...changed, in ways that were hard to put one's finger on. Beyond the grief of children that lost their mother and aunt something darker had taken root but god Erico just couldn’t see what it was. Dale might have if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with trying to raise the boys and care for Erico after Warren disappeared to be alone with his grief. Joni was invaluable help during that time and helped teach Ash to read. Warren didn’t come back until another year later, and then it was too late.

Representatives from World Systems came to their door. Warren and Dale had ‘graduated’ from their Facilities years ago, and managed to work out a ‘retirement’ from their military program thanks to Nephrita’s help, but World Systems never really went away. They wanted to buy Ash from them. Vera almost burned down the house with her fury and they fled white hot flames licking at their coats.

They considered running, but decided that it was better to have Dale with them, Erico was too weak to protect anyone no matter how catastrophic his power was. It didn’t do a damn however. One day when it seemed like World Systems had backed off for now, Dale took his boys out to the nearest settlement to trade and gather supplies, and World Systems came back. They came back in force with a blue haired Meta woman. Erico got hold of her throat and in one quick flash the woman went from living and healthy to a corpse; he felt better than he had in years. It didn’t make a damn bit of difference though because he heard a squeal from behind him, and a person in a Rho dog mask was holding his daughter. Vera leapt at the Rho with flames in her hands and rage in her eyes. Turning his back was a mistake however because the instant he did a bullet tore its way through Erico’s back and he hit the floor. Worse than the agony and blood spilling through him, they shot Vera. The two of them lay bleeding on the floor and their daughter was carried off screaming for her mother. It was the last time Erico saw his daughter as he blacked out.

When he woke up it was almost with a fury that he wasn’t dead. He should be dead for failing to protect his own daughter, but Dale wasn’t having that. Warren took his brother's hand and Erico shook it off in favor of grabbing Warren’s collar in a surprisingly strong grip that threatened to strangle him. “Find my daughter.” He hissed between his teeth. For an instant he irrationally hated Warren with a white hot fury for not being there when it happened. Vera had taken off in the middle of the night while Erico was still in a coma, and no one knew where she was. His daughter was gone, his damn wife was gone. He had lost...everything. All he could think about was getting Ash back but his damn weak body wouldn’t even let him leave the house anymore. He tried once and immediately collapsed in the snow and had to be carried back by his brothers.

Dale and Warren searched- they did, but they had a responsibility to Warren’s sons too. They would search in turns, and soon Erico and Warren started working on a new project, made with some of Nephrita’s research notes, and some scavenged World Systems and old world technology. But it wasn’t enough, and it would never be enough. As Erico’s organs finally started to give out and Warren made a last ditch effort to scan and save Erico’s neural patterns, his only thoughts were for his daughter, and one, last, surge of furious jealousy of his brother. 

Why does he get to live? 

[litlelotte]

Adventure Time

It is almost exactly a year ago, something really extraordinary happened. I had been working in a bar for nearly two years, after I graduated from University. At this point I’d been living in London for over 5 years, and I had always been incredibly in love with this city. However, last year, I hit the cold and familiar brick wall; the honeymoon period was over. So I quit my job, lived on my savings and was thinking long and hard of what to do next. I needed an adventure. Fast-forwarding 5 months, I left my keys with a cute guy I’d found on the Internet. I was to sublet my room, because I was sure I was going to come back. I just didn’t know when. My plan? Vague and barely a plan at all. First step was to go to Norway. This is where I was born and grew up, and I wanted to connect with old friends. I picked up my old Toyota at my parents’ house, put the camera in the bag, and drove around for a month. There were uncontrollable laughter, the birth of my niece and good old Viking-drunkenness. It also consisted of sunrise-jams, hiking in the mountains, and bathing in far too cold fjord-water. After nearly three weeks of constant rain, I was glad to leave for England again. Second step: Avoid London. One thing I find about London, is that once you live here, you rarely leave this place. Everything is so conveniently happening here. I decided that I would travel to places I hadn’t been before, and that involved going to places like Kent and Oxford. I ventured into some fields in the middle of nowhere, to a family festival, even if I don’t like children. But it was okay, at least it wasn’t raining. And people were happy. I like photographing people who are happy. On the opposite side of London, I ended up walking the streets of Oxford, with a personal guide. She speaks impeccable English, by the way. We had picnic by the “river”, cheered with wine glasses to passer-byers in boats, and watched guided tours led by deprived students. We also had a pint of ale in the historic ‘Turf Tavern’, although I didn’t down mine very quick, and neither did I see a ghost. I took inspiration from Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and decided to fall into a whole new world too. Although mine involved a long plane journey across the pond, to the big and scary America. Third step: California and Burning Man. I spent the next three months, travelling on my own around California. I didn’t know anyone and I had as little as £1,200 in my bank account. The part of me that wanted an adventure, wanted it unambiguously to be a challenging one. In fact, I wanted it to be such a difficult and nearly impossible journey, that I would set myself up for failure. I wanted to cry, to feel hopeless, frustrated and push myself to the brink of giving up. Typically, none of it happened. For three months I never slept in a hotel or a hostel – I didn’t even couch surf. I also never went hungry, I never felt scared and I never called desperately home to my parents, asking to be saved. To sum up these three months in one paragraph, is nearly impossible. It wouldn’t give it justice. So I will try to make this short, and maybe cheat a little. 3.1: Burning Man I slept 8 nights in a tent, in the middle of the desert in Nevada. I shared this experience with about 70.000 other people, but specifically I also shared it with a camp consisting of around 60 people. I’d only met one person there twice before. I was the only Norwegian, in fact, the only European person in the San Francisco/Los Angeles crew, called the “Janky Barge”. For over a week, I photographed complete strangers, and captured a sense of happiness I never before thought existed. Burning Man does something to you. It does something to people. Being a photographer at this place, is like some sort of heaven. Best described: Christmas Day + birth of a child + winning at life = Burning Man. It’s an ocean of creativity, freedom, beauty and pure joy.  And the dust makes everyone look incredibly sexy too. I left this place with new discoveries about myself and the world, inspiration, new set of friends and a half-shaved head. And fortunately, a bunch of incredibly, awesome pictures.

3.2: Los Angeles One of my neighbours at Burning Man was a lovely woman, that went by the name of Cinthia. She invited me to come to stay with her in Los Angeles for a bit. Little did I know that I ended up staying there for a month. I always thought I would be more of a San Francisco gal than a LA-chick, but I guess I was terribly wrong. Cinthia owns a hair salon up in the Valley, and has this cute little 1-bedroom apartment 10 minutes away. It was here I ended up falling in love again. Not with a guy, or with Los Angeles, but with people, music, art and life itself. All of a sudden, I was photographing actors and models surrounded by hair-stylists, make-up artists and assistants. Professionally I gained invaluable experience, and personally I learned to really appreciate, listen and love more. 3.3: Californian “Rednecks” James was another neighbour from my camp at Burning Man. He has this little cabin up in the woods by a creek, a 45-minute drive from everything, north of Los Angeles. I got to spend 2 weeks in this cabin, together with his dog, Roxy. He was travelling back and forth to Europe at this point, so it was a sweet deal. He got a dog-sitter, I got free food and lots of time to myself. This place consists of maybe 30 cabins, and mostly the people there are above the age of fifty, with the exception of a few unfortunate teenagers. Not surprisingly though, they had a little bar up there, open 4 days a week. I found myself sitting there a fair amount, not because of my thirst for beer, but because mostly I was just talking to the people there. The dogs were running around freely, and Roxy was enjoying herself. I was too. The people here were of a peculiar kind, with so many different backgrounds, and truthfully, I never thought I would sit in a place where everyone agrees with Trump. It was an experience. One of the guys, was an old, quiet man, with red cheeks and a caps on. His name was Walle, and he would drink his 6 beers, none less and no more than that, and go home. One day, a woman’s voice came on, singing this beautiful song from the jukebox. “Oh!” Walle muffled. “I haven’t seen that girl since she was 10 years old!” Curiously, I asked him who the girl was. “Oh, it’s Rosanne Cash, naturally! Johnny Cash’s daughter.” I replied with a big question mark on my face. “Hum-hum. I used to live next door to them many, many years ago. It was during all that bad shit. Some days we would just sit on the porch and play guitar together. We were neighbours for three years, before he moved. I thought it was for the best though, because that new girl he’d met, she was pretty good for him. Tried helping him with all that drug-abuse and stuff. He was a good guy though, in spite of everything.” I recently discovered that Cash was nearly killed in a fire in 1965, that he later was sued for by the government. He claimed it was his camper that caught fire, although it is more likely he started a fire to stay warm and in his drugged condition failed to notice the fire getting out of control. It destroyed 508 acres.” Guess which forest it was? The very same I spent two weeks in – Los Padres National Forest. I do wonder, if Walle knows. 3.4: The mountains and the end If I haven’t lost you yet, I promise you, I am nearly finished with my story. Burning Man seems to have been the best thing I could have done, in more ways than one. The best reason, was that I got a whole bunch of phone numbers and email-addresses. I met Luke one day out on my first day of exploration alone in the desert, and we exchanged exactly that. When I was still in Los Angeles, I received an email from him. He said that he and a bunch of friends were going up north in the mountains. He followed with a simple “Want to join?” So it was there I found myself, on a bus, leaving LA for three weeks out in the free. With the exception of Luke, that I’d talked to for about an hour, I was to meet 16 people that I’d never met before, and spend almost 24/7 with them out in the wilderness, camping in tents. In all honesty, this it was the most perfect ending to my trip, and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. I heard some unbelievable, extraordinary stories from these wonderful human-beings. One of the guys, had come up from Peru, where he normally works as a tour-guide in Machu Picchu. Hearing his stories, about nearly dying in the jungle, about being drugged by a tribe-leader and freaking out, and about the interesting journey from how he got there in the first place, was some of the highlights. They were all outdoorsy people, and some of them are now doing these incredible and dangerous trips, climbing mountains in the states. I learned a lot of things on this journey. But I also realised a great deal, including this: that I really love nature. And that I in fact love sleeping in a sleeping-bag, surrounded by simple things in a tent. Things that I only need for survival. That I love waking up early to the sounds of rain trickling above my head, the wind howling, and a grasshopper as a roommate. And that it’s something incredibly rewarding of spending that amount of time away from civilisation. Away from the sounds of cars, noise and busyness. Away from schedules, sweaty armpits that comes with overfilled underground trains and the stench of chicken take-away shops. Away from mirrors, make-up and Tinder dates. Nevertheless, it had to end. And it was good timing. Trump had just won the presidential election, and in all honesty – I was not surprised. With the Brexit happening earlier the Summer, I was almost expecting something like this. I spent the following month in London, trying to adjust back to normal. I got the keys back to my room, and filled my shelves again with all the stuff I owned. Only this time, with less things. I have been trying to write down everything I have experienced, everything I have learned, and everything I feel. I still haven’t been able to adjust back to “normal”. But maybe that’s the whole point. It’s now like London is an ex-boyfriend I am not entirely sure how to get rid of, but still love. I’ve had a Summer-fling with adventures, that left me with inspiration, motivation and the feeling of being alive.

And I think that is exactly what I needed.

So here I am.

[yukiwrites]

Their own way to celebrate

It’s so cute that @wylia‘s husband Priam was born less than a week before Valentines~ let’s try my hand at writing him again! >v<)

It would be Priam and Robin’s first Lovers Day together and both of them had secret plans for each other, making the day preceding it an awkward exchange of ‘good morning’s and ‘did you sleep well’s.

Nervous about the passing of time, Priam decided to train on their backyard, waiting for his wife to look away so he could sneak into town and get her present. Robin, on the other hand, busied herself with one chore or another inside the house, waiting for the afternoon to come.

She sighed in relief when she saw a winged figure on the sky a bit after mid-day and hurried outside. “Priam! Dear, where are you?” She looked around.

“Robin?” His voice yelled back from behind, somewhere close to the woods. The wyvern rider started to approach and the former tactician nodded, running to the back so as to talk to her husband.

“Priam, Cherche is here to pick me up.” Robin huffed, bending down to catch her breath. The warrior was cutting wood, his shirtless body shining with sweat, but his breath hardly winded. He narrowed his eyes.

“You’re taking a lot of rides to Rosanne lately.” He mumbled, feeling somewhat lonely despite wanting to have the free time to hop into town. Robin felt her cheeks burn and her heart warm with his display of clinginess as he averted his eyes.

The former tactician took a step forward and put both hands behind her back, leaning towards her husband with a wolfish grin. “Won’t you give me a goodbye’s kiss?”

Priam coughed, the axe he still held falling limp on the ground with the surprise as he used the same hand to cover his blushing face. Robin pressed her lips into a thin line, holding back her laughter while she waited for him to give the last step forward so they could be within arm’s reach.

Once he did, the warrior quickly gave his wife a little peck and turned away, scratching the back of his head. “Be back before it gets too dark, you hear?” He said, bashful.

Robin giggled and threw herself on his back, squeezing him before turning back to where Cherche landed. Priam let out an unholy noise once Robin caught ahold of him, his heart still beating wildly in his chest even after she had left.

“All right, breathe, you fool.” He gave himself two pep slaps and concentrated his breathing on the nature around him. “Now, let’s go before she comes back.”

For the past week or so, Robin had been asking Cherche for cooking lessons -- Lovers Day was a special date that consisted on the female giving her loved one something sweet, usually chocolate, and he would reciprocate the present a month later.

But Robin knew her husband well; he didn’t take to sweets like she did. So she turned to the one thing she knew he would absolutely adore:

Beef pie.

“Alright, Robin? Today is the real deal; whatever you manage to bake will be what you’ll take home.” Cherche fastened her apron after they went back to the mansion of House Virion.

“R-right.” Robin gulped, following suit. Her previous attempts had failed, however not utterly. She was half-confident she would be able to bake something at least edible.

Of course, Priam would eat anything with the word ‘meat’ in it, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be delicious as well, right?

As the wife fought one battle, the husband fought another. He had ordered some kind of special chocolate for Robin, but the town was bustling with so many people he was afraid that hammering himself around would hurt some folks. It took him painfully longer than expected to reach the shop, and even longer to even get to the counter.

Fed up with everything, he paid and left, looking at the cutely wrapped box: inside there would be a heart-shapped chocolate with a message on it for his beloved. Feeling cheesy about his present of choice and not realizing the female gaze on him (there were only women at the store as well as around the other shops), Priam hurried back home.

It took Robin a lot less time than she thought, as though the gods were on her side that day. From what she had sampled, the meat was good. She wouldn’t be able to taste the crust without ruining how it looked, so she just prayed that she got it right.

“Thank you for everything, Cherche; you’re even dropping me home.” Robin bowed before mounting Minerva.

The rider dismissed Robin’s worry with a flicker of hand. “Think nothing of it, friend. Besides, Minerva enjoys the exercise.”

As soon as Robin stepped out of the wyvern’s back, she could see her husband finishing the climb of the slight cliff they chose to build their house onto. She quickly big Cherche farewell and hid the pie, properly folded in a white cloth, behind her back.

“OH, Robin!” He smiled with the sight of her, excited to see her reaction to his present. She smiled, both hands hidden as she took some uncertain steps towards her husband -- he was wearing the Hero armor he usually did when going out. But why would he...?

“Hm? You went out?” She asked, nervous. Would he smell the pie before she was able to give it to him?

“Indeed I did. Ta-dah!” He flashed a big, embarrassed grin as he showed her the small and cute box. She smiled instantly, albeit with confusion.

“What- but why-” She looked from him to the present. He cleared his throat, getting more embarrassed by the second.

“To wish you a happy Lovers Day, of course. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t prepare anything for you?”

“But... Dear...” Overwhelmed with feelings and having a sudden urge to laugh, Robin finally showed what was behind her back, presenting it to Priam with both hands. “The tradition is that the girl is the one to give presents on the day -- which is only tomorrow...”

Immediately his nose picked up the scent, the rest of her phrase forgotten as the smell washed over his body with pleasure. “Is that-?”

“Beef pie, yes....” She said bashfully, looking away as he took the pie with one hand, admiring it; her present now on her own hands. “Happy Lovers Day, my love.” She stuttered, biting her lower lip and looking at him from below.

Priam was in the middle of peeking under the white cloth when he felt his heart melt with warmth and joy. Soon he was shaking with laughter, presenting the pie to the sky “Huzzah! My wife cooked for me! HUZZAH!” He praised, hugging Robin right after.

“Y-you don’t have to get that happy before even tasting it--mmph!” Her complaining was stopped by his lips on hers.

“Don’t give me that. It’s going to taste amazing.” He kissed her again, then urged her to open her present.

When she did, she saw the message, written with white syrup over the dark chocolate: it read as ‘Thanks’.

Proud, Priam puffed his chest. “It’s to thank you for being with me, always.”

Robin laughed, drying her eyes. So silly, but so heartfelt! She hugged her husband and squeezed his neck. “Thank you, Priam. May we have a great Lovers Day tomorrow and the year after, too.”

[connorrenwick]

Where I Work: Catherine Bailey of Heath Ceramics

A lot has changed since Heath Ceramics co-founder Catherine Bailey appeared on the Clever podcast earlier this year. A complete shift in how and where she works was necessary, as it has been for many people around the world. Instead of staying put at home, she moved to her property in West Marin, California in March to set up a simpler life and work existence in two vintage trailers. Despite its picturesque waterside location, Bailey finds herself more productive than ever having less distractions popping up throughout the day. For this month’s Where I Work, Heath creative director Catherine Bailey fills us all in on the business in the time of a pandemic, where she’s working, and how she’s getting it all done.

What’s your studio/work environment like?

So much is shifting, and just like everything else changing, and so has my work environment. My work requires me to meet with many different people at Heath. I look at physical objects, glazes, and products that must be seen and held to understand. A small but favorite part of my work is exploring my own ideas through painting and drawing, but most of my work is communicating with co-workers, through physical and digital conversations. Before Covid-19, I spent much of my work day in different meeting rooms and offices. My office, complete with our dog Ponch, was where I started and ended the day, and sometimes got some emails done. All creative work happened at home, in my office, or at the dining table, depending on the light and my mood.

Since March, when any of us who could work at home did so, I changed homes. I have been spending most of my time working out of a trailer in West Marin. I find this environment gives me perspective, helps me focus, and I can free my head to be creative here. It’s a simpler place, on the water, and in-between doing my work, I’m able to be outside. In this surrounding, we have several different spaces that work for us. We’ve got two trailers, a 1948 and a 1951 Spartanette, and we built a large deck to connect them. I work in one and sleep in the other. There’s also a cottage that’s in need of renovation (not just to make it prettier, but most would consider it a tear down shack) and can function as another space that I can work in. There’s also a picnic table where I can work outside. I’m happiest outside, and in this set up, I’m constantly outdoors, going between one space and the other. My family is often here as well, and the trailers allow us to be in separate contained spaces when we need to focus on our work independently.

How is your space organized/arranged?

I have my digital workspace set up in our 1948 Spartanette trailer. As makeshift as it is, it’s one of the most successful spaces I’ve worked in. The trailer has a built-in table, and I work on an old Aalto stool. I never work straight for more than 45 minutes. I need to get up, stretch, leave the trailer, and step outside. Getting outside so often gives me perspective, the small windows in the trailer create the perfect light for screen work, and since the space is independent, no one is passing through or distracting me. I’m so efficient in getting things done! I’ll also move locations a lot. I take video calls in the work trailer or sometimes in the cottage. Work in the evening can extend into the sleeping trailer. The trailers don’t have lots of storage space built in, so I don’t have years of accumulated stuff in this current work space, which feels freeing.

How long have you been in this space? Where did you work before that?

I’ve been working this way as much as I can since late March. I go into our Sausalito Factory to see and discuss samples, but other than that, I am doing all my work at the trailers.

If you could change something about your workspace, what would it be?

I really miss large work tables that foster collaboration and discussion!

Is there an office pet?

Ponch – as is Jon and Ponch… think 1980’s TV, Eric Estrada… he’s the best trailer office dog. In the regular office, he has a “jumping on people” problem.

Do you require music in the background? If so, who are some favorites?

I listen to a lot of audio books if I’m doing work that doesn’t require writing, most recently Utopia for Realists and The Nordic Theory of Everything. For music Rosanne Cash and Wilson Pickett have been on my playlist this month.

How do you record ideas?

Notebook with specific organization. A 6×6 notebook with heavy paper and a .005 felt tip.

Do you have an inspiration board? What’s on it right now?

I do inspiration documents in Google slides, that are specific to projects.

What is your typical work style?

It’s more haphazard than I’d like it to be. So much of my job is to support others and help them move forward. I’m constantly getting distracted by new fires to help put out, and it doesn’t allow me to often get into the flow of work that I find satisfying. Working out of the trailer is helping me be more focused when I dig into a project. Every day is different. Especially working an hour away from Heath, I have to plan trips into Sausalito or San Francisco in advance. What I love about working here is the weight and rhythm of nature – it is hitting me in the face all day and giving me a sense of rhythm that I never have had in my work life before. Two tides go out every day. Certain birds seem to have rhythm’s that I’m beginning to notice. I have a greater awareness of the connection of where the sun and shadows are to the time of day. It sounds strange, but it helps me organize my day and have more perspective as I wade through some of the most difficult conversations and decisions that are coming up at this time when so much certainty has disappeared.

What is your creative process and/or creative workflow like? Does it change every project or do you keep it the same?

There is consistency in my approach. I always try to look outside for what I know well for inspiration.

What kind of art/design/objects might you have scattered about the space?

The trailers themself are wonderful self-contained design objects, so being able to live in and around them is thought provoking and fulfilling. The exteriors are sheet aluminum and the interiors are made of wood. Walls, floors, ceilings. Lots of ⅛” ply. It’s a lightweight object for what it is, with materials that feel solid on the outside and warm on the inside. The lighting in the 1951 trailer is original and perfect, better than in my house. It’s sort of nice to be in this little bubble of nice design without having to add much, there’s not much space for art or additional objects, other than a few vintage paint-by-numbers paintings that I found at a garage sale years ago, and some ceramics from our studio.

What tool(s) do you most enjoy using in the design process?

Watercolors, they force you to be loose and I find that helpful at the beginning part of the process.

Let’s talk about how you’re wired. Tell us about your tech arsenal/devices.

Nothing terribly unique, I have a MacBook Pro, but working on presentations and photo editing on my huge iMac monitor is a dream.

What design software do you use, if any, and for what?

Not much! I do a lot of photo editing in Lightroom, and some drawing in Illustrator, but other than that, it’s all in Google – lots of Google slides to share inspiration, ideas, plans, and schedules. Especially now when we’re not meeting in person, finding ways of sharing and organizing is important. By taking photos of sketches, or mocking up super rough photos or ideas and collecting them in these documents, the work can be shared and others can contribute.

Personally, I love working on ideas for environments using Sketch Up, I build sloppy models, but they can serve as immersive napkin sketches.

What’s on your desk right now?

Some color explorations for the winter seasonal collection and my little notebook.

Is there a favorite project/piece you’ve worked on?

The Chez Panisse dinnerware we did with Alice Waters is one of my favorite projects. We recently re-released it with new glazes, and I am really happy with the end result and the collaboration. The dinnerware shapes pull from tradition, but are modern, relevant, and functional and the glazes are uniquely Heath. With this project, we are able to support the Edible School Yard. This organization was started by Alice Waters to create and sustain organic gardens in public school’s curriculum, culture, and food programs. The project felt successful on many levels.

Tell us about a current project you’re working on. What was the inspiration behind it?

This is a tough question to answer honestly at this moment. This year has been so hard, so many of the projects we’ve worked on and dreamed about have been delayed or cancelled. We were doing some beautiful work with Alabama Chain, which was going to come out this summer. That was postponed, our team and our factory is smaller due to Covid-19, and this all has an impact on the creative work that is the heart of Heath, and everyone at Heath. Our lead designer, and most of our product development team, was on temporary leave when it was time to decide if we would be able to do a new collection for Winter. Our studio director, Tung Chang, and I decided we would tackle it. We were also in the unfortunate position to have to lay off part of our team, so there were mountains of unknowns. We plowed forward, and are excited about the collection’s inspiration: Hope and Love. The feelings that those words evoke are the season, and override the normal inspirations and filters of winter. We just photographed it, so I cannot show the final result, but these are some of our tests and samples – look for it in October.

Do you have anything in your home that you’ve designed/created?

I designed the interior of my home, as well as this whole trailer indoor-outdoor work life situation that I’m now living in. The space has a bigger vision than these two trailers and the platform connecting them, but being forced to live in an uncompleted vision has made me ask questions about what is necessary and what is enough. There is a certain amount of perfection and detail in design that can sometimes make things better, but not always, and it should be questioned.

To shop Heath Ceramics products, visit heathceramics.com. If you’re looking for more tabletop ideas, visit the Design Milk Shop here!

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from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2020/07/28/where-i-work-catherine-bailey-of-heath-ceramics/

[belladonaofylisse-blog]

anyone interested in interacting with my kids?

i realized that i’ve barely had my kiddos interact with anyone so if you’d be interested with our ocs interacting, please send me a message about it! i would love to see my characters have more friends ( or enemies lol )

and here are some short character bios under the cut so people don’t have to track down their old, outdated ones.

IOLE — 24 years old, Female ( cis ), War Cleric

History: Born in New Plegia, but ran away with her mother to escape her father, Askari’s constant abuse. They lived on the streets of Ylisse for a time until a kindly priest named Issak took them in, offering them a place to stay at the monastery where he worked and lived. Iole was reluctant to trust him at first, but quickly came around to him after he comforted her from a nightmare. Issak eventually married her mother, Nura, but she died a few years later due to a prolonged illness. After her mother’s death, Iole dedicated herself to becoming a high-ranked officer just like her mother was, training every single day. Through helping her step-father with his priestly duties and training everyday, she grew into a strong young woman and enlisted as soon as she finished her training. Once enlisted, she quickly raised up the ranks, even being promoted from a recruit to a soldier only 5 months into her training period. Many rumors began to spread about how she achieved such a thing, some believing she did so through less-than-honorable means. Because of this, she had no friends to speak of. She became the captain of her platoon a year after joining and eventually was promoted to be the 23rd platoon’s lieutenant after the departure of their previous lieutenant. She currently works directly for Maxwell, who she also has a rather obvious crush on.

After Lucien’s death, Iole along with her childhood friend, Eion, and Issak left Ylisse to look for Maxwell. Unknown to her, Askari had found her location and tailed her to Valm. 3 weeks passed until he made his move and cornered Iole. He attempted to kill her with his musket, but Issak took the fatal bullet for her, being shot in the chest. Askari unfortunately escaped and Issak died from his wound. Iole refused to return home, insisting upon staying to help Maxwell and Elene. Though, she is currently at an extreme low-point, being severely depressed and reckless.

Personality: Hard-working. Compassionate. Generous. Friendly and Personable. Motherly towards others. Flirtatious at times. Extremely Protective of her loved ones. Works quickly. Bottles up negative emotions. Tends to put on a smile, even when upset. Puts others before herself. Paranoid of losing those who she cares for. Emotionally Brittle. Merciless on the battlefield. Apathetic and Reclusive as a child.

EION — 21 years old, Male ( trans ), Valkyrie

History: Originally born in Chon’sin to a impoverished young couple, He was left in the care of a monastery in Ylisse by his parents, hoping to give him a better life than they could. Eion preferred to keep to himself, even lashing out at those who attempted to connect with him. Because of this, he became extremely reclusive and often skulked about the monastery. He found himself often watching others from a distance, especially Iole upon her arrival. Eventually, she confronted him and while she was combative towards him at first, they two grew to become rather close as she slowly began to trust others. Along with this, Eion ended up developing feelings for Iole, but was far too scared to act upon them. After she enlisted, he was content with staying at the monastery, but soon came to realize how lonely he was without her around. Iole sending home letters mentioning Maxwell on a frequent basis also seemed to spur him on. Asking Issak to teach him how to wield magic, he became Eion’s mentor. Upon finishing his training, he left the monastery for Ylisstol. After enlisting, he quickly realized that there was little hope that Iole would return his feelings and his feelings soon began to fade. Unfortunately, he developed a crush on Lani soon after.

Currently, Eion is still rather shaken after Issak’s death. His stress and anxiety is only amplified by having to deal with his unrequited feelings for Lani.

Personality: Appears Stoic and Aloof. Really just Shy and Socially Awkward. Abrasive towards others. Dedicated to doing his best. Often overworks himself. Frequently Stressed. Easily embarrassed or flustered. Tries to be as serious as possible. Shows his more relaxed and playful nature once close with others. Hopeless Romantic. Falls in love easily.

VERA — 1,815 years old, Female ( cis ), Manakete

History: The daughter of the former divine dragon, Xane, Vera grew up traveling about the world with her parents. During this long period of happiness, she spent most of her days playing and admiring the cultures of the world, but only from a distance. With tensions raising in Archanea, Xane and Vera’s mother, Aine, grew fearful of what could happen to them or their daughter. As a result, they concealed their manakete heritage from the world and lived away from society. Many years passed, the three living through the ruin of war and the prosperity of peace. Upon finding that her sister had gone missing, Aine tearfully said her goodbyes to her family and began her search, leaving Xane to care for Vera alone. For years after, Vera and her father continued to travel, but soon enough, Vera’s curiosity got the best of her. One day, while sneaking away to venture into the city by herself, she was attacked by a group of bandits. They were ready to steal her away to their camp until Xane came to save his daughter. While he was able to scare them away by successfully transforming into his former dragon form, it took a heavy toll of his body. With his last breaths, he told Vera to find Tiki and keep herself safe. She followed her father’s dying request and began to travel throughout Ylisse to find where Lady Tiki was. Eventually learning of her location from a kind fortuneteller, she set of to Valm to meet her father’s dear friend.

After living with Tiki for a year and a half, Vera decided to leave Mila Tree and search for her mother. She is currently still searching for her, but fears that she may never find her.

Personality: Cheerful. Carefree. Adventurous. Playful. Somewhat Mischievous. Friendly. Childlike. Often has her head in the clouds. Forgetful. Distracted easily. Always smiling. Naturally Curious. No concept of personal space. Quick Learner. Terrified of Bandits.

KODA — 20 years old, Female ( cis ), Dancer

History: Koda keeps her past a secret to many, only sharing that her parents were killed when she was young and she has a twin sister named Kanza. Escaping from their caretakers, she and Kanza were separated during their escape. For a time, Koda wandered about Ylisse, looking for her sister. She soon gave up after 2 long months of searching and eventually found herself in the ports of Ylisse. She decided to travel to Valm in the hopes of possibly starting over. Learning that the Seven Seas was set to return to Valm that night, but with no money to pay for passage, she resorted to using her usual tactics to find her way onto the ship. Seducing a member of the crew and knocking them out once they were in the lower decks, she quickly hide amongst the cargo, but was quickly caught by Batiste. Instinctively, she shakily held a sword to his throat. While his crew was ready to protect their captain, Batiste stopped them, saying that he “liked her.” This caught Koda off-guard, allowing him to easily disarm her. She feared the worst was about to come, but was surprised when Batiste allowed her to stay on the ship until they arrived in Valm. Confused that he didn’t throw her overboard or harm her, she quickly began to find herself often thinking of Batiste and how strange he seemed to be. The crew was kind to her as well, despite her threatening their captain’s life before. Upon arriving in Valm, she was somewhat sad to leave the ship, but was ready to do so. She was shocked when Batiste offered her a place in his crew, which she agreed to without a second thought. Since then, she works for the crew by doing whatever she can to help.

Personality: Comes off as emotionless at first. Slowly warms to people. Timid. Quiet. Somewhat meek. Easily confused or embarrassed. Often lost in her own thoughts. Unintentionally brutal at times. Tends to not think before she speaks. Passionate. Likes to compliment people. Scared of becoming intimate with others. Extremely sensitive to touch.

KANZA — 20 years old, Female ( cis ), Duelist

History: Like Koda, Kanza rarely speaks of her past besides the basics of it. Though, she is much more willing to talk about how it affected her. After getting separated from Koda, she began looking for her sister, but found no leads on where she was. She decided to leave for Valm, hoping that perhaps Koda had gone there as well. Eventually ending up in Rosanne, she tried to find work while looking for her sister, but with little success. Spending a few nights sleeping in the streets, she then met Falcon one night, who offered her a place to stay. She was reluctant to trust him, but was quickly won over by a hot meal and a warm bed to rest in. While she soon began to trust her new caretakers, their habit of sneaking off in the dead of the night made Kanza wonder what they did while they were away from the tavern. Her curiosity got the best of her, eventually following Falcon on one of his missions and finding out about his role in the Beasts. After saving him from a sniper, Falcon agreed to help her impress Lioness enough to get her into the gang. Soon enough, Kanza found a new family with the Beasts, assuming the codename of Dove and becoming their information gatherer.

Personality: Playful. Flirtatious. Loves to compliment people. Hot-headed. Easily Angered or Frustrated. Protective of her loved ones. Extremely defensive. Combative. Overly Emotional. Flustered when complimented. Hates being talked down to or demeaned.