#REALLY glad I wrote the low spoon version!!!

[sag-dab-sar]

🔥 Festival of The First & Last 🔥

Happy New Years 🎉

December 31st 2023- January 1st 2024

Festival to Hestia

Along side her I placed the Oikos Theoi [Household Gods]. On the right: Zeus Ktesios (jar), Zeus Herkeios, Hera Oikos. On the left: Hekate, Apollo Argyieus, Hermes.

I'm only able to preform the low spoon version of this festival but still wanted to set this up. I hope I can complete the other half tomorrow. I'll use this for the jar candle bit I mention in the low spoon version.

I only had to get out 2 small boxes & Hestia's idol to set all this up.... except her candle I had no idea where her candle was so looking for that took up most energy. I had a feeling she really wouldn't like any candle except for hers.

I'm glad I set this up. My last drop of energy of 2023 went to the Theoi 🤍🔥

[teecupangel]

Hi there!! I haven’t been in reading ac fic for a few months (I got very burned out, and I had low spoons and the only thing my brain could concentrate on was my fav movie, Tron: Legacy, so I watched that 20 times and then went through the Entire Ao3 Tag, front to back, back to front, I think I’ve read all of it at this point), but!! Today I started to slowly get caught up on your fics. I am now up to date on Eagle of Alamut and absolutely I am in love with it so so so much. I just. Ugh. Everything about it is so good. (I also love that you have it tagged as probably not a slow burn and it’s 60k+ and they haven’t met yet lmao. It’s a slow burn, but not because they are dancing around each other but cause they haven’t met yet lmaoooo).

I then read The Assassin, The Ghost, and The Heir, which was. Really good lol. I haven’t played GoT yet (I want to tho), and so I think the characters where a bit hard to follow for me personally, but I love all the moments with Darim and Desmond, and I loved Darim’s pov a lot.

And I’m probably gonna put Beloved Moon on my kindle to read, tomorrow?? Or maybe tonight who knows, I am in a reading mood, and my insomnia has been acting up so I’d probably have an update for you at like. 3 am lmao. (You might not remember me, but I was that anon who read The King, and the entirety of fiat mihi in one day, back before it had Altair’s pov chapter. So yeah. I read Fast. Oof).

I am, right now tho, rereading The Second cause it’s one of my all time favorite fics ever. And then I might reread Project Eurydice, cause those are also some of my favorites of all time, lol. A lot of your fics are on my favorites list 😅🥰

Ahhh, anyway, all this to say thank you for making such amazing fics!! I love them all so much, my favorite trope is time travel fix it, and you always do it so well <3 <3 <3 I’m also just giddy that my dumb adhd brain is letting me read AC fic again, and I guess I wanted to share, oof. Sorry for rambling at you, and I hope your week goes well!! 🖤🖤🖤

I’m glad you’re feeling better and please focus on your health first. My fics will always be there for you whenever you feel it. :)

Oh man, the ‘slow burn’ in Eagle of Alamut. Yeeeeaahhh… I’ve had comments about how it should count as a slow burn already. XD

I still remember I read one that was like: ‘this is hardcore slow burn, other slow burns wish they were this slow, and slow burn goals’ and I’m like “It’s… I mean… it’s not like I’m sure yet just how fast and how hard Altaïr is gonna fall in this one but… uuuhhh…”

I promise, if it takes a while for Altaïr to fall, I’ll change the tag to “holy shit it is slow burn i’m so sorry” XD

(But, teecup, when will Altaïr appear?) Uuuhhh… I might… be planning to do it… in a specific special date? Maaayybbeeee???

I’m glad you enjoyed The Assassin, The Ghost, and The Heir, I really enjoyed writing Darim’s POV and his interactions with Desmond (if you can, you should play GoT. It’s a really good game… although I don’t have any leg to stand on with my opinion since I grew up watching Kurosawa Akira films so the bias is definitely there. Even the PS4 version is so beautiful. If you can’t though, watching let’s play with or without comments is an alternative you can look into :) It’s very old timey samurai movie vibe).

Oh man, then I hope you enjoy quickly reading all the fics you haven’t read yet, hahahaha.

Aaawww, I’m so happy to read that and it always makes me smile knowing you guys reread the fics I write. The Second is probably one of my personal favorite Yew Branches but that’s mainly because it’s the first one I wrote and I had so much fun writing Desmond getting such a loving family. (Also, I’m a sucker for Darim and Desmond interactions of any kind XD)

Oh, man. Project Eurydice. Ngl, Old Master is still one of my favs mainly because it’s a 50k fic all posted in one chapter and it’s the only fic that AO3 was like “hey, dude, I know you’re trying to update but I can’t, there’s too much, you’ll be seeing this error-try again later page a lot, sorry, man”. It’s the main reason why any fics that exceed 30k get the multichapter fic treatment. (sometimes, I do still think if it should be better if I edit it to be multichaptered instead). I had hoped to write a new fic set on that one around Ratonhnhaké:ton’s birthday but April was… well… March and April were not cooperating with me this year. Maybe some other time. We’ll see XD

Feel free to ramble all you want here in my ask box or even in AO3. I always try to answer them with a bit of a ramble of my own XD

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[thatesqcrush]

Soul Savin’, Pt. 3

Rafael Barba x Reader. AN: Taking a lot of liberties and using a lot of prompts and part of a challenge here, specifically: @madpanda75‘s “from your smutty prompt list, can you please do “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!” where Barba and the reader go to a bar, have some tequila, then do some body shots” as well as @delia26‘s “I turned out liking your a lot more than I originally planned.” Finally, using Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your Soul” as part of @thefanficfaerie‘s birthday challenge. 

CW: language, eventually it’ll be NSFW. Angst, continued slow-burning.

CW: for mentions of 9/11. 

WC: 2500

***

You woke up the next day to pounding on your apartment door. You groaned as you shuffled out of your room. “Just a minute,” you called as you pulled on your fluffy purple robe. The banging on your door intensified. Irritated, you called out once more. “Coming!” You found a lone hair tie on the end table by your couch and you took it, pulling your hair into a low pony-tail. You opened the door and found no one there. Confused, you were about to close the door, when you noticed a package with a note. Your heart began to pound and you crouched down to get a closer look. You sighed in relief when you realized the lettering on the box was from the NorthFork donut company, a small artisinal shop that you were obsessed with.  Your eyes darted past the box and there was a growler of coldbrew coffee, from your favorite local roaster, SailAway Coffee Company.

You took the package and growler and shut the door behind you. You could smell how fresh the donuts were from even outside of the box and your stomach growled. You made your way back to the kitchen and set the goodies on the island before going to get a glass for the coffee. You spooned some sugar into the glass and then opened the growler to pour the coffee in.

Carefully, you opened the donut box and instead of getting caught up in the delicious sight before you, your eyes settled on the note that was taped on the inside lid. Your name was scrawled in Rafael’s handwriting.

Y/N, I am sorry for last night. Mea culpa. I just really miss my friend and hope I didn’t fuck it up for good.

You sighed and pondered Rafael’s note. You wondered had you not had a thing for him, would you even be so forgiving. You grabbed a fancy looking chocolate donut and then went back to your room to grab your phone. You hopped onto a barstool and wrote Rafael back.

Thanks for the donuts and coffee. Didn’t take you for someone to be so cliched. Come over, help me finish the coffee. Can’t make any promises on the donuts.

Rafael texted he would be over within the hour. You were tempted to eat another donut, but instead chose to shower.

--

“Do they just let anyone on the roof?” Rafael asked in disbelief as he took in the view of the city before him from your rooftop.

“No, but sometimes being a cop has its perks,” you winked before taking a sip of your coffee. “I like to come up here in just when it gets a little too much for me down there, it's like...like my New York version of a mountaintop.”

The sun was beaming down brightly but there was a cool breeze, not making it overly warm. You brought over the donuts to the little table that you had set up. Rafael leaned against the railing, watching you as you set up the donuts.

“I’m sorry.”

You paused your actions and stood straight up, to face him. “I know. I got your note.” Rafael walked over to you. His hand rested on your forearms. You searched each other’s eyes.  Part of you wanted to do nothing but smooth back some of his hair that had fallen out of place but you refrained from doing so. “Look Rafael – I don’t understand our relationship. Sometimes we’re friends… sometimes it feels like we’re strangers. You have to be honest with me.”

Rafael Barba, the silver-tongued prosecutor suddenly found himself at a loss for words. His mouth went dry and he swallowed hard. His stomach was in knots. Unable to look at you, he turned away, facing the skyline once more.

“It’s complicated.”

“Bullshit.”

You marched back up to Rafael and stood to face him. “Talk to me. What is it? Please.”

Rafael looked at you and he felt awful for being the reason your face was laced with worry and concern. He wished he could tell you how he felt about you – that all he wanted to do was to kiss you – and then some. You crossed your arms and bit your lip, anxious at his pending response. Something – you weren’t sure what – flashed across Rafael’s face and all you wanted to do was rush up to him and kiss him. You stepped closer to Rafael and he stepped closer to you.

“It’s work,” Rafael lied. “Just have been stressed. It’s the summer so a lot of people are off and I just bit off more than I can chew.”

You sighed. “Okay. If you say so.” Rafael did not miss the hint of disappointment in your voice. You walked back over to the table and grabbed a donut before sitting down on a wicker love seat. You chewed slowly as you looked up towards the sky. A pigeon flew overhead before settling on the ledge. The bird cooed at you as it eyed your donut. You tore off a piece of your donut and tossed it towards the bird.

“I don’t think donuts are part of a well-balanced diet for a pigeon.”

You snorted. “Are you some kind of pigeon expert? Is that your side-hustle Rafael Barba?”

Rafael guffawed as he sat down next to you. You reached over and handed him the donut box. Rafael chose a black and white donut – it was just like the cookie – but in donut form. You leaned your head on Rafael’s shoulder and the two of you sat there in silence, for what seemed like forever. The heat from the sun melted the glaze from the donuts and your fingers were sticky. You sucked the sugary coating off of your fingers slowly, not realizing Rafael’s gaze was hyper-focused on your movements. You closed your eyes and hummed and Rafael felt his desire shoot southward.

Rafael stood suddenly. “Anyway, I have to get going – I am glad we’re okay.”

You stood, brushing off invisible crumbs from your lap. “No – stay.”

Rafael pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tightly before pulling away to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you, Y/N.”

--

Strip clubs have reputations for being havens for drugs and sex trafficking for a reason. And that is was the scene of your next case – a stripper was brutally assaulted by a pimp there. Olivia had the idea of setting up a honeytrap with you going undercover. You showed up to the precinct all dolled up with a face full of heavy makeup and your hair in half-up and half-down in soft sexy curls.

“What are we working with?” Olivia asked, pointing to your trench coat. “I don’t think that is going to fly on the stage.”

You opened your trench coat revealing your actual outfit: you were outfitted in pure sin: a matching purple lame crop top, with a deep neckline, which accentuated your breasts and booty shorts with a ruched backing. Obscenely large hoop earrings hung off your lobes and your wrists were stacked with bangle bracelets. Finishing your outfit were shiny black patent five inch heels that accentuated your well defined calves.

At that moment Amanda came in with Rafael and Carisi on her heels. “We’re all set up to go… hey, hey, looking good, Y/N.”

“What is she… “ Rafael began but found himself at a loss for words as he took in the sight of you. All the blood in his body headed south. “Do I want to know why you're dressed like that?  Wait a second… Y/N – you’re the mark for the honeytrap?” he asked in disbelief.

“Well who else would it be?” you asked. “Liv’s mug is all over the paper – Rollins is … you know…” you waved your hand over Amanda who was very clearly pregnant. “And Kat is on vacation visiting her mom in San Diego.”

“Liv, I don’t like this,” Rafael replied quietly. “This could get dangerous. I am worried about Y/N’s safety.”

“We don't need to get your approval. Besides, Y/N is tough – she can handle her own.” Olivia replied, giving Rafael an incredulous look. “Besides, we’ll have eyes and ears on the place. The first sign things are not going well, we’re moving in.”

“Hello? Hi – let’s not talk about me, in front of me,” you replied, waving your hand in between Rafael and Olivia. “Rafael – I got this,” you replied with an eye roll. “It’ll be fine.”

--

Rafael sat inside the stakeout van, cramped and uncomfortable. Inside the van was Olivia and Carisi. Olivia was feeding information to Fin who was inside the strip club, also undercover as a customer. Clipped in your earrings was a tiny camera recording every move.

Rafael watched as you were announced on the stage as “Sage Whisper.” You were nervous initially, especially as you knew Rafael was watching you. You chose to dance to “Lady Marmalade.”

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahHe sat in her boudoir while she freshened up Boy drank all that Magnolia wine On her black satin sheets' where he started to freak, yeah

As you swung your body around the pole, you allowed yourself to get lost to the song and got really into your performance. You bent down to touch your toes, in front of the audience giving everyone a view of your ass, the material of your shorts rising up, almost being eaten by your cheeks when you stood up. You sauntered back to the pole and gyrated your hips as you shimmied off your shorts, revealing your black G-string. Just as you were about to clip off the back of your top, you were requested to go to a private room by the pimp your team had eyes on.

Meanwhile in the van, sweat dripped off Rafael’s brow. He wasn’t sure if it was you, the closed quarters, or both. Judging by how tight his pants were growing, he was sure it was you. He shifted uncomfortably as he watched you saunter off the stage and head to a backroom. The pimp had his hand low on your back, before moving down to squeeze it.

Rafael wanted to throw up.

--

You played your bit to the pimp, egging him on and teasing. Finally, the pimp had enough and he had backed you into a corner, his hand gripping your hair tightly, cocking your head.

“Watch it bitch – or I’ll do to you what I did to the last slut who came in here.”

You raised your brow in defiance. “I’d like to see you try.”

What you didn’t expect was to be pistol whipped. You collapsed to the ground and groaned in pain as you were kicked in the ribs. Around you was a cacophony of sounds – you could hear Olivia and Fin in the background along with several other police backup entering the room with their guns raised.

You could barely hear your name as your ears continued to ring. Finally, a pair of hands pulled you up and helped you out of the room.

Back outside, you shivered as you sat in the back of an open van, your head still pounding. You wore Liv’s police jacket in a futile attempt to keep warm. “Y/N, you did good,” Olivia replied softly. “I have your change of clothes. I’ll bring them by while you get checked out.”

“I don’t need to be checked out; I am fine,” you protested. Olivia raised her hand and shook her head.

“You need to be checked out. You are probably concussed and you might have a bruised rib or even a broken one.”

You sighed. “Okay. I’ll come up to the station after to finish up my paperwork.”

“Nonsense – you can do that on Monday. Take the rest of the weekend.” You began to protest when Oliva held a hand up. “That’s an order detective.”

“Ay, ay Captain,” you muttered weakly. Olivia waived over an EMS worker and as you were checked out, Rafael rushed to the van.

“Y/N, are you okay? Jesus fucking Christ!”

“I’m fine, Rafael. I promise. Just some bruises. Nothing that won’t heal in a couple of days.”

“Olivia gave me your clothes.” You nodded and gave him a small smile of appreciation as you took the duffel bag. You climbed into the van and began to shut the doors. “Make sure no one drives off with me in it – I am going to change.”

A few minutes later you emerged in a ratty sweatshirt and your most comfortable, broken in jeans. Your appeared out of place with your heavy makeup and costume jewelry still on. You winced as you removed your fake eyelashes. Rafael felt horrible for what you went through. “Do you have to go back to the precinct?”

“No. Liv gave me the weekend off; told me to finish my paperwork Monday.”

“Come on – let me get us a cab. We’ll go get some food.”

You smiled brightly. “That sounds perfect.”

--

You winced slightly as you laughed as Rafael told you an embarrassing tale of him as a kid. You popped a French fry in your mouth, reveling in the hot, salty carb. You were both back at the bar in Midtown.

“So you never told me why you ever came to this bar in the first place. Those many weeks ago.” Rafael trailed off, taking a long sip from his beer bottle.

You plucked a fry from Rafael’s plate and chewed it slowly, mulling over your next words. “I went to high school in the city and I was a senior when 9/11 occurred. When my friends and I were let out, we could not find a subway out of the city. So we ended up holed in this bar – this very bar. The owners of the bar – fed us never ending fries and sodas until we were able to connect with our parents. A cop came to get us a few hours later and drove us home. I have been a frequent flyer since I turned of legal age – more or less,” you chuckled. “And then Sean – one of the owners - died a few years ago to ALS.” Your voice warbled at the last bit and a tear threatened to fall. You wiped your greasy hands on a napkin and then used the back of your hands to wipe your eyes.

Rafael reached over and took one of your hands into his and squeezed it. You gave him a small smile and took a deep breath and a look around. “Okay, lets have a shot for Sean and for this night being an overall success despite…” you trailed off, casting a hand over yourself.

Rafael signaled for the bartender.  Six shot glasses were lined up. And then again. And again.

When you first got ready for the evening, you never thought it would end with you and Rafael doing body shots. As Rafael sucked a mark into your neck, you gasped, “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“Then I guess we were never friends,” Rafael husked in your ear, before pulling away to toss the shot back.

TBC.

Tags:  @melsquared79 @madpanda75 @youreverycolor @tropes-and-tales @neely1177 @the-baby-bookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @delia26 @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoollike @fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary @theenchantedgalleryofstories @thefanficfaerie @trekinthruthestarwars @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty​ -anyone else, just ask, xo

[jbbuckybarnes]

Enough

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Trope: Unexpected Pregnancy Warnings: Pregnancy, fluff, nosy friends 

M A S T E R L I S T

“He has enough problems, I don’t want this to be something on top of that.” “Maybe it helps him heal.” “That works with cats and dogs. This is a CHILD, Natasha!” “It helped me to go to the children's hospital when I was down in my early Shield days.” “...well, those weren’t children you needed to care for, for the rest of your life.” “He’ll have no problem with it. I bet all my gear on it. And you know I love my gear.” “Fine.” you grumbled.

"B-Bucky?" you enter his part of the compound with silent footsteps. "Y/N? What's wrong?" he asked concerned, hearing the shaky voice and fast heartbeat. "You need to sit down for this." you gestured him to sit down. "So...um, turns out certain things don't work as well when you're a supersoldier." you fidgeted with your fingers. "What do you mean?" his head dipped to the side, something you loved about his mannerisms. You took the test to where he could see it and his eyes widened. "You don't need to ta-" you got interrupted by him jumping up and enveloping you into a hug. "It's okay. Not planned. But okay. Wow. Woah. A mini version of you." his hand absentmindedly went through your hair and you looked up. "Is it really okay? I know it was more of a one time thing and...well, that's at least 18 years of responsibility." "Was only a one time thing if you wanted it to be." he grinned down. "What do you mean?" your right brow went up. "Am I so bad at showing how insane I go for your every move?" he blushed. "Apparently." a giggle. "Well, I'm having quite the crush. That baby ain't helping with that." he said in more of a Brooklyn accent. Something he did when he was comfortable and happy. "I have a thing for you too, maybe." a cheeky grin went up at him. He chuckled before leaning down for a gentle kiss, hand wandering to your lower belly. "I'm gonna be a dad." it finally sinks in. "I was so worried because of PTSD and the job and…" you gave doe eyes. "I can handle that. Especially with you being the badass mom,” he said with his hand going through your hair again, "Do you have morning sickness? Anything that makes you feel unwell? Wanna be there for ya, darling." "Nausea, little bit of dizziness. It's a super soldier baby, I hope that brings more good than bad." "Did you let Dr. Cho test that?" he had a big grin. "No, but I definitely will." "Damn, it's still hitting me in pieces. You're going to be a mom. A mom, Y/N." he's still in awe. "I wish I could go back in time to see your mom's reaction." thoughts went straight to lips. "She would go crazy. She'd love you. Promise." he assured you with a big, warm and excited smile. "We're not telling anyone till end of next month. Nat knows. That's it." "All the making out and baby lovin’ in secret? You can be damn happy I'm a spy." he grabbed you close with a proud smile.

The team didn't know about both of you being together and much less about you being pregnant with his child. You were glad your feelings were mutual since a one night stand baby really wasn't something you planned for in life. But you also needed to get more used to each other in a shorter time frame. You were close-ish before but letting down guards and throwing away potential embarrassment about random things and situations made for some fun and some very vulnerable situations. "I wonder if I'll ever know you as well as Steve." you mumbled in a little spoon position. "He knows old me pretty well, you're on the perfect way to know new me better. I mean...we're gonna raise a child. God, that still sounds absurd." his arm left you so he could brush through his hair. A cute nervous tick he had. He told you that his PTSD symptoms got way better since he had this beautiful thing to look forward to. "I still can't imagine you with a tiny little baby in your giant arms." you giggled. "We have a charity event at the children's hospital soon. You just need to come with me for once." he lightly pinched you in the waist. "Fine. But just for the cuteness." you said grabbing his arm closer.

After a few weeks of getting way more used to each other and him laying on your belly every evening for an hour, he could finally hear a little heartbeat Seeing this giant of a man happy cry in your embrace was worth every second of nausea. "Oh, the tests from Helen came back. It has super soldier DNA strands. And I do too because of that wonder inside of me but they are low and would need to get activated more by gamma rays or something like that. At least for me. Still can kick you harder than bef-" you were interrupted by a passionate kiss. "I love you. Both of you." Your mouth fell open for a second before you could form words again, "I love you too, Bucky. We both do." "I can't wait to hold that little miracle in my arms." "My ovaries won't be ready for that." you joked.

Steve notices first a bit over two weeks later. The first time he heard two heartbeats while walking past you he just thought it was a mixup. But when you were the only one on the couch in the common room and were eating a bag of chips he was sure there was a second and small heart beat. "Y/N?" "Huh?" you answered with a mouth full of chips. "You have a little secret to tell me?" he sat down with a face like it's christmas. "It definitely is little. Can you hear it?" you put the chips bag aside and he gave an intense excited nod. "How far?" he grinned. "A bit over three months. I'll tell the rest of the team soon." you went over the little dent on your lower belly. "Who's the-" he stopped at steps approaching. Bucky came in with his empty coffee mug and a big smile at you. "This idiot over there." you said with big heart eyes. "Oh. My. God." his jaw was on the floor. "You can touch it if you want." you smiled and sat down differently. A soft big hand was going over the little bulge. "Damn. I wasn't prepared for that." he mumbled. "We neither." Bucky deadpanned and you giggled. Light feet came closer and Steve moved back while Bucky didn't care. Nat came into the room a few seconds later. "Hey guys." a big smile. "Nat, Steve?" you got their attention and gestured them to sit down. "I'd really like you to be godmother and godfather." you smiled and Steve's look was going to Nat confused. "She knew before I even told Bucky. It's okay Steve." you giggled. "Of course I'm gonna take on that role." she said excited and Steve nodded heavily. "The rest of the team will find out next week, don't you dare say a word." a serious face and nods.

In the coming week you wrote letters for everyone in the compound. "You'll be an aunt/uncle/brother/godfather/godmother" and a little bit of a sweet message below. Coincidentally Bucky, Steve, Sam & Nat were on a mission the day you slipped the letters under everyone's door in the compound. You heard the early morning commotion shortly after and Clint asking "What does yours say? Mine says uncle." and Wanda answering "Big sister." "We should make her breakfast." came from Bruce and you smiled at his usual softness. After the voices were further away in the kitchen you got out of bed, put on something showing off your mini belly and made your way towards the kitchen. "CONGRATS!" came in unison from the entire team. "Thank you." you were glowing and staring at the breakfast they were currently making. "Do you already know if it's a boy or a girl?" Wanda asked. "I don't plan on finding out till the end of the second trimester. It's not super important anyway." you shrugged. The breakfast was long and full of baby related questions and stories from Clint's kids.

After you excused yourself because you were tired they immediately came together on the couch. "Who is the father? Can only be one of the guys on the mission. She doesn't leave this compound much." came from Tony. "What speaks for each of them?" came from Vision. "My bet is on Sam. They're flirting a lot between the lines." Clint threw in. “I bet it's Steve. Doesn't let anyone in on things like that. Would also make sense why we don't know about them being together." Wanda pointed out. "Guys, what if it's Bucky?" Bruce added. Everyone looked at him, shook their head and started placing bets between Steve and Sam. Only Bruce was betting on Bucky. He had a feeling.

The little team came back from the mission and the rest just stared at them with Sam being super confused. Then he opened his door and saw a letter saying "You're gonna be an uncle, Sam. I'm 3 months in and you better treat me right. -Y/N" He went to your room and knocked under the glances of the others. His grin was gigantic when you opened the door, "Really?" "Yes. I'm so fucking happy." you squealed before he picked you up and turned you around. "I'm gonna be an uncle? Oh my god! That kid's gonna be spoiled so much." Everyone betting on Sam exhaled defeated. It was down to the super soldiers.

After a shower and a change into sweatpants and a shirt Steve came to check on you. "Everything alright? Ate enough? Anything you need help with?" he was so soft with you since he knew. "Nah, just very tired...well, you could technically help me get something out of my storage but that can wait." you smiled up at him and the group silently inhaled. Bucky came around the corner in his usual demeanor and at the sight of his girlfriend and best friend his face lit up. "I heard you've been telling everyone who didn't know?" a smirk at her. The groups breathing hitched when you nodded. "Is little bean making any problems today?" he asked with attentive eyes on you. "Tired, little bit of the dizziness. It's fine." you smiled up at him. "Gotta make sure my two beans are okay." he planted a kiss on your forehead and the group collectively looked at Bruce doing a tiny happy dance for winning. "It's BARNES' BABY?" Tony finally bursted out confused. "Am I really that bad at showing how in love I've been with this little woman full of energy?" he chuckled. "How. Long?" Wanda needed to know. "Since we know about it." you looked down on yourself. Nat finally left her room too and came to you and hugged you, "How's my godbaby doing?" "Godbaby?" Steve laughed. "I mean it's genderless, what else am I supposed to call the baby?" she smirked at him. "Well... you're right. Our godbaby is doing good today." he grinned at her. "We were the only ones not in on this, huh?" Clint added from the couch. "Jup." Bucky gave a cheeky grin before picking you up and finally carrying you to his room. No secrets anymore.

"God, he's gonna protect her and that baby to death." someone mumbled. "Awww." Wanda was totally up for all the parent cuteness. "I hope it finally makes him feel like he's enough." Steve added when he crashed onto the sofa. “Have you seen his eyes when he called them his beans? He definitely feels enough already.” Sam smiled with pure happiness for his friend. “Bean Barnes is gonna grow up around a bunch of idiots.” Nat pointed out shaking her head with a grin.

[thiamlife]

Hi! ❤ First of all I want to say that I really love your blog and your work! I don't know if you accept requests, but if you do, I would love to request a Thiam story based on this song "Romantic" from Stanaj (the slow version) when I heard it I thought about them! If you can't do it, it's okay 😊 Thank you very much! I hope you have a wonderful day ❤

Request: Thiam story based on thissong “Romantic” from Stanaj

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Theo had been lying to him. For four months, he had beensneaking out of the Geyer household and doing god knows what with god knowswho. He usually came back around 3 or 4 in the morning reeking of sweat and cigarettes.He didn’t admit it but the thought of Theo having sex with someone other thanhim, was enough to break his little angry heart every time he let his mind gothere. And every time Liam would question him about it, the elusive chimerawould just smirk and come up with some way to taunt him. HE WAS LOSING HIS GODDAMNED MIND.

Tonight had been no different, except this time Liam was inthe guest room waiting for him when he climbed the tree outside of the windowand swung in landing with a soft thud.

“You’re up late.” Theo commented, passing him on the way tothe shower. Liam quickly followed Theo into his room and was about to followhim into his bathroom but Theo shut the door in his face.

“Youknow why I am.” He replied. He let his back fallagainst the door as he heard the water start to run, then slowly slid down sohe was sitting on the floor. He leaned his head back and let it hit the door.

 He heard Theo sigh and listened for any alteration in hisheartbeat but found none. “I don’t knowwhy.” He said and Liam growled, he swore he could hear Theo chuckle.Asshole knew exactly what he was doing to his sanity.

 “Theo.” He snarled in warning, letting the boy in hisbathroom know how close he was to getting really angry. Theo turned the showeroff and Liam fell backwards when the door was suddenly yanked open, revealing adripping wet Theo wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped extremely low onhis hips. Liam quickly righted himself and was now standing in front of themouthwatering chimera.

 “If you really want to know that bad then just follow me.”Theo said with a smirk before he pushed passed Liam, rubbing against him in away that couldn’t be accidental… or could it… Liam would have to dissect itlater, he turned on his heels to once again trail behind Theo.

 “I’ve tried,” he growled, “you ditched me… every time.” Theo laughedas he shut his door in his face again only his time Liam opened it and ploppedon Theo’s bed earning him an eye roll.

 “I know. It just, well, itgets better every time. My favorite is when you start threatening bodilyharm under your breath as if I can’t hear it.” Theo was moving about his roomstill in the sinful towel when he responded. But soon he was pulling on a freshpair of boxers and a pair of sweats went on over them.

 He pushed Liam over and climbed under the thin covers of theguest bed that was now technically Theo’s. That’s the first thing Liam hadlearned about Theo after he moved in, he wasn’t one for lots of blankets.Probably due to how hot he got during a nightmare, adding a heavy cover onlymade it worse. Liam had run in the room many times to find Theo tangled andnearly suffocating in the duvet. So the two of them decided it would be betterif Theo just stuck to thin sheets and throw blankets.

 “If you’re going to stay in here please at least lay down andclose your eyes, I can’t sleep while you’re staring at me. Its late, I’m tired,and you have school in the morning.” Theo groggily whispered.

 Liam laid down in the cramped space between Theo and thewall, huffing as if this was a huge inconvenience to him, when really he lovedit when Theo asked him to sleep in his bed or would show up by the side of hislooking like a lost puppy. It didn’t happen very often, but when it did Liammade the most of it. Even his parents seemed to know that something hadhappened whenever they found the two of them in the same bed. Usually it meantthat they would get Theo’s favorite for breakfast, blueberry pancakes and bacon,in the morning.

 Liam had to cover up the screams from Theo at first but hisdad caught on pretty quickly. Dr. Geyer understood PTSD and night terrors sothat’s what they told him they were. He never pried for the reason behind thedreams, just always made sure the following morning was calm and pleasant forTheo.

 “Liam, I can literally hear your brain thinking. Shut it off.”Theo said crankily. He huffed again but pulled the sheets away from Theo beforesliding under them and pulling them tightly around him. Theo muttered “blankethog” before soft snores were pouring out of his mouth. Now that Theo was asleepLiam let himself snuggle closer, feeling the warmth from his bare upper halfseep into him.

 “If you want to spoon me just do it already, we both know youwon’t fall asleep until you do.”

 Liam sputtered trying to come up with something to say. “I…uh…um…well… I thought you were sleeping!”

 Theo sighed again and pulled Liam’s arms around him and burrowedback against him. “You always do.” He mumbled lightly.

 If Theo was awake every time, then that meant that he knew Liamspooned him. He knew that sometimes Liam ran his fingers through his hair, and thatsometimes he would kiss the back of his shoulder before drifting off to sleep.Oh god, he was so embarrassed. He went to pull away so he could run to his roomand hide but Theo’s hands kept him in place.

 “Sleep baby wolf.” He commanded. And he didn’t really have achoice because Theo currently had a death grip on his arm, his claws evendigging in daring him to try and move. So for once, Liam fell asleep with the knowledgethat he wouldn’t have to detangle himself from Theo before the chimera woke upand it was the most peaceful 3 hour sleep he had ever had.

 True to the norm Liam woke up to the smell of pancake batterand bacon. They had somehow shifted in sleep to where Theo was on his back onearm wrapped around Liam, who had been using his chest as a pillow. He slowlypicked his head up only to have Theo push it back down and angrily murmur to goback to sleep.

 “Guess I’ll just have to eat your portion of pancakes then.”Theo bolted upright knocking Liam off him and threw on the first shirt he saw.Theo was downstairs and Liam could hear the fork hitting the plate before heeven reached his room to put his clothes on for school. That chimera and hisfucking pancakes, he shook his head and snorted. He didn’t have time to thinkabout their sleeping arrangement from last night, he was late per usual.

 When he got home from school and Theo was nowhere to be foundthe anxiety and anger from the previous night returned and he stomped up to hisroom. He almost missed the small piece of paper waiting for him on his bed, buthe caught Theo’s scent and his eyes zeroed in on the bed where the smell wascoming from, finding the note sitting on his pillow.

 He picked it up and immediately noticed Theo’s messyhandwriting.

So glad that I found you. I’m just trying to be somebody. Youmake me want to act different.If you want to know where I’ve beengoing, come to the address on the back of this paper at 8.-T

Liam looked at the clock and groaned, it was only 3:30. Whatin the hell was he supposed to do for the next 4.5 hours? He cleaned his room,made a snack, practiced some lacrosse shots on the net out back, and showered.When the clock read 5:45 he growled in annoyance right before the doorbellrang. Too irritated to check who it was before opening the door he wassurprised to find Mason and Corey standing there grinning like fools.

 “Theo texted and said you might need a distraction.” Masonsaid giddily and Corey just nodded.

 “He told you what he’s been doing hasn’t he?” He guessed.

 “Yep, and we’re totally coming with you.” Corey confirmed asthey both walked in to his house. They actually turned out to be the perfect pastime,making jokes and playing videos games. Before he knew it, it was time to go andMason was driving the three of them downtown.

 When they pulled up outside of an older club Liam wasconfused. But judging by how quickly Mason parked and he and Corey got out ofthe car he figured they knew where they were going.

 A band called “Drag Me From Hell” was playing tonight andLiam wasn’t sure if he was intrigued or scared. Between the Dread Doctors andTheo, the wild hunt, The Beast, The Anuk-Ite, and the hunters he had had enoughof hell for one lifetime. But nonetheless was dragged inside after receiving ahandstamp from the bouncer marking him as under 21.

 The three of them joined the small crowd gathered towards thefront of the stage and Liam couldn’t help but search around for Theo. Thisplace definitely smelled like the cigarettes Theo came home smelling like. Didhe work here or something? Was he trying to show Liam that he had gotten a job?Although, he didn’t understand why Theo would want to hide that. And he didn’trealize how wrong he was until the band was announced and Theo walked out onstage.

 Mason and Corey cheered next to him but he couldn’t take hiseyes off the chimera front and center. He was wearing black jeans that fit wellbut weren’t skinny jeans, a tight black t-shirt and a black beanie. When hishoneyed voice sounded over the speakers Liam thought he was dead. Yepdefinitely dead, this was a dream. That definitely explained why Theo let himsleep on top of him this morning.

 “Hi I’m Theo and we’re Drag Me From Hell.” A couple girls tothe right of him screamed and threw their bras on stage causing Corey and Masonto bust out laughing from the menacing growl let left his lips. Theo’s eyessnapped to him immediately and smirked.

 “Sorry ladies, but I’m taken. This first song happens to bethe first song I ever wrote, and it’s dedicated to him.” Theo’s eyes lockedwith his as the music started playing and Liam could feel the hot blushcreeping up his face.

 Theo closed his eyes as he let the song take over him.

You say I make you shyI don’t know why?Every time we kissIt gets better every timeUnderneath the lightYou’re shining so brightThe tension in the airYou could cut it with a knifeSee, I’m just tryna be somebodyYou got me in love so deepNo, I don’t got to do these thingsBut you make me,You make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starYou make me wanna act differentI love you for who you areYou make me want to run circles around youSo glad that I found youYou make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starHave you got the time?We could do dinner and wineI could compliment youButthat would take all nightSee, I’m just tryna be somebodyYou got me in love so deepNo, I don’t got to do these thingsBut you make me,You make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starYou make me wanna act differentI love you for who you areYou make me wanna run circles around youSo glad that I found youYou make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starYou make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starYou make me wanna be differentI love you for who you areYou make me wanna do circles around youSo glad I found youI just wanna be a romanticI just wanna be a starYou make me wanna do things I never seem to doNever said those three wordsBut I say ‘em to youYou make me wanna say things I never seem to sayMake me ask, “Why am I always acting thisway?”You make me wanna do things I never seem to doNever said those three wordsBut I say ‘em to youYou make me wanna say things I never seem to sayYou make me ask why the hell I’mActing this wayYou make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a starYou make me wanna act differentI love you for who you areYou make me wanna run circles around youSo glad that I found youYou make me wanna be a romanticYou make me wanna be a star. When thesong finished Theo opened his eyes again to stare at Liam. Corey had teared up halfwaythrough and Mason had put his arm around him at the same time that he clamped ahand on Liam’s shoulder. Liam spent the whole song in disbelief. He had no ideathat Theo had felt this way about him, he always just assumed that his feelingswere unrequited. They locked eyes for a brief moment, silently conveying everythingthat they had never said to one another. But then Theo had to start the nextsong and Liam and his friends stood in the crowd and enjoying the rest of theset.

 Theo hadpulled off his beanie a few songs in, letting the longer strands on top fall downhis forehead into his eyes. After his last song he ran a hand through thesweaty strands, pushing them back, before he said his goodbye to the crowd onceagain catching eyes with Liam before he exited the stage.

 “Alright,we’re gonna head home dude.” Mason said on a yawn. It was approaching midnightand Liam was exhausted as well but he wanted to wait for Theo. The friends saidtheir goodbyes and Liam sat in a booth as he watched drunken patrons stumbleaway from the bar and dance floor. He hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleepuntil someone was shaking him.

 Forgettingwhere he was momentarily, he smacked at the hand and grumbled a hopeful fivemore minutes. The person chuckled and pulled at his arm trying to get him wakeup again. When that didn’t work, the guy let out a low growl making Liam shootup ready to defend himself.

 “You arethe true definition of a baby wolf.” Theo said smile on his face. “Let’s gohome, I’m exhausted. SOMEONE wouldn’t let me sleep last night.”

 Liamgrowled back. “Yeah, yeah, maybe you should have been home earlier.” Theointertwined their fingers as he pulled Liam out to his truck behind the club.Liam reveled in the feel of the casual touch, a craving deep inside of him thathe didn’t know was there suddenly felt satisfied.

 The ridehome was quiet and Liam let his thoughts run rampant, even the feeling of Theo’sthumb sliding back and forth over his wasn’t enough to distract him.

“Are wegoing to talk about this.” He asked quietly raising their hands to signal what “This”he was talking about.

 Theosighed tiredly and stopped stroking his thumb over Liam’s hand. “You’re notgood with words and I’m not good with emotions so I figured we could just let,this, whatever it is, happen.” Liam thought over his argument and realized thatTheo was right. Whenever Liam tried to use his words things always came outwrong and he got angry. Theo, when forced to talk about his feelings tended toget violent and cold. So maybe it was just best they didn’t say anything aboutit all.

 “You’reright.” He nodded as they finally pulled up to their dark house.

 “Alwaysam, baby wolf.” He smirked and Liam narrowed his eyes pulling his hand away.

 “We arehowever, going to talk about the fact that you lied to and hid from me for thepast 4 months.”

 “On thatnote… night Liam!” Theo shouted as he raced around to the tree in the backyardthat stood outside of his window.

 “Hey getback here!” Liam yelled as he threw his door open and chased after him.

 He wasn’tfar behind and managed to tackle Theo right before he reached the handle to hisdoor. But then Theo quickly flipped them so he was on top.

 “If youwanted to kiss me little wolf all you had to do was say so.” Theo taunted andLiam was left sputtering again.

 “I… uh…what?” But Theo didn’t respond. He just slowly leaned down and pressed his lipsto Liam’s. It didn’t take long before Liam returned the kiss. It quickly escalated,shirts were gone and canines were sinking into skin leaving marksdistinguishable to other supernaturals.

 Theyboth pulled back for air and Liam couldn’t refrain from saying the words thathad popped into his head after hearing Theo sing for him.

 “I loveyou.” He whispered. Theo raised his head looking deeply in to his eyes beforehe smiled and then hid his face in Liam’s neck, nuzzling his cheek against thesoft skin that he had just marked.

 “I loveyou too little wolf.” He whispered back.

 “Now,about the past 4 months…” Liam started and Theo put his full body weight onhim and pretended to snore. Liam laughed, “Nope you blew your cover on that onelast night.”

 Theohuffed. “Fine, but can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m beat.” He pushed up offLiam and opened the door to the hallway walking across it and in to Liam’sroom.

 “Why areyou going to my room?” He questioned as he slowly got to his feet.

Theolooked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “Your bed is bigger and as muchas I loved being your personal pillow last night, never again. You drool.”

 “Do not.”Liam said with a scowl but climbed in to his bed scooting behind Theo and snakinghis arm around his waist.

 “Do to.”

 “Yousnore.”

 “Youtalk in your sleep.”

 “DO NOT!”

 “Theo,Theo you’re so comfy Theo.” He mocked and Liam took his arm back rolling toface the other side of the room. It didn’t last long though before he was beingpulled back against Theo’s strong body as he snickered. “Oh lighten up babywolf.” They stayed quiet for a while but soon Liam was fidgeting.

 “Comeon, we both know you won’t be able to sleep unless you’re wrapped around me.” Theosaid pulling at him to get him to turn over but he didn’t make any moves tocuddle Theo. Theo sighed, “Okay I won’t be able to sleep either if we’re beingtotally honest.” Liam smiled and snuggled closer to him. They were both asleepin minutes, neither of them waking up to a nightmare for the first time sinceTheo had moved in.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

HI! I hope this is what you were looking for! Pretty pleaselet me know what you think!

XO - K

[mileean]

Red Carnations

[A-N: Happy Klangst Week!! Day 1-Unrequited Love/Pining. AU where certain people that fall in love find their heart line turned dark red. If it turns black the love is unreturned and over time the line begins to disappear. When it fades completely the person may die of a broken heart or become darker, loveless versions of themselves known as Umbra. (Hunk also makes an appearance because Lance needs some best friend support.) @klangst-week]

The first time Lance had seen the heart line on his palm turn black he had tried to hide it. He kept his sleeves pulled down at mealtime and kept to himself during the few moments of free time they had between missions. No one noticed at first. The deep black line just served as an ugly reminder of his poor luck. He fell in love with the one person he knew for a fact didn’t feel the same way about him.

And then he slipped up. It had been in an argument with Keith over something stupid, as usual. Shiro stepped between the two of them but his body posture made it all too clear who he agreed with on the matter. Lance felt something in him snap and he threw his arms out in frustration—his palm exposed before he realized it. Even still, Hunk was the only one to notice.

He cornered Lance in his room later that night, his big brown eyes filled with a pained sympathy Lance didn’t want. Hunk cleared his throat as he stood in the doorway and looked over at the bed Lance had curled up onto.

“It’s black,” Lance broke the silence first. He stared at his knees as his arms circled tightly around his legs. He felt the mark burn faintly against his skin and he pulled his legs closer to his chest.

“Lance,” Hunk hesitated, one arm raised as if to reach out. Lance remained firmly on the bed and Hunk stayed in the doorway. “How...how long has it been black?”

“Two weeks,” Lance muttered. He sighed and rested his head against his knees. Even to him, his voice sounded hollow and distant.

Hunk made a noise from the doorway, an aborted attempt to say something. He stepped farther into Lance’s room. He knew Hunk had questions, he could hear them left unsaid in his voice. 

“It’s Keith,” Lance didn’t look up. He didn’t need to. He knew Hunk’s expression would only serve to make this worse.

Back at the Garrison they had been in the same class. Lance’s first mistake was to sit behind the boy wonder. His eyes were perpetually drawn to the curl of his fingers around his pen, his somewhat slanted penmanship a combination of cursive and print. On occasion Keith would tap the end of his pen against his lower lip, eyes lidded and gaze faraway.

The first time Lance heard him outright confront their instructor he realized the guy not only had a nice voice to match his fine face, but also he was fiercely tied to his beliefs on morality. The class discussion on the use of rescue vessels veered into a debate over the efficacy of search and rescue missions in potentially hostile environments. For the first time, Lance saw a flicker of raw passion underneath Keith’s mulleted exterior.

It didn’t help that Keith was also the top of the class and always maintained the highest score on the flight simulators and exams. His crew consisted of some of the best students in the Garrison, and he had an actual fan base. Approaching someone like that was nearly impossible.

Lance wrote him a letter. He knew it was cliché, but he put his feelings down as best as he could. His handwriting wasn’t as neat—the lines slightly leaned downwards on the page inelegant and unsure. Lance sealed it and attached a single red carnation because he was a sucker for subtle romantic gestures and whether Keith knew flower language or not, Lance thought it was clever.

He wasn’t the first to confess. He had seen letters, gifts, and flowers practically showered on the dark-haired ace pilot. Keith had rejected every confession, thrown away every gift. Whatever his reasons, his seemingly stone-cold behavior only spurred more unwanted attention and cemented his image as some kind of rebel bad boy. Lance scoffed at the rumors because no bad boy could have a mullet.

Lance wasn’t sure why he thought his letter would have been any different, but it still hurt to see Keith pick it up and almost mechanically deposit it in the trash. He hadn’t even opened the envelope. Lance practically knocked his chair over when he pushed out of his seat and bolted from the room despite the shouts from his instructor. He felt stupid and hopeless when he actually cried that night, his hand clasped over his mouth to stifle the sound.

It hadn’t really come as a surprise when his heart line turned a deep red against his palm. After all, he spent day in and day out surrounded by the same people, Keith included. He learned more and more about his team—his closest friends—as they bonded. Lance put his life on the line and complete faith in his comrades. But being vulnerable and open like that had consequences. When he fell for Keith, he fell hard.

Lance picked up on the subtle inflections in Keith’s voice when he was angry, or worried, or on the rare occasions he would tease him. Lance started to forget why he even initiated his self-imposed rivalry in the first place, at least until his insecurities would bubble up inside of him at night in bed, thoughts that reminded him he had already been rejected once before.

His heart line was the same deep red color as the carnation he had taped to an envelope with shaking hands. It came as no surprise when the line darkened until it became an inky black. That was when it started to burn.

Hunk was still in his room. Lance snapped back to the present moment as he felt a warm hand squeeze his shoulder. He was glad his face was buried against his knees as his tears fell down his cheeks and stained the fabric of jeans. Hunk removed his hand slowly and turned to leave Lance alone.

For the most part, Lance had been successful in avoiding Keith. Any time he was near the other paladin he felt the dark line along his palm burn with a searing ache that was almost too much to bear. He had just left the dining hall when he literally ran into the one person he had been avoiding.

“Ah, sorry I—”Lance mumbled, an apology on his lips as he looked over at whomever he had just crashed into. Lance felt his stomach drop as Keith looked up at him.

“Oh, now you’re speaking to me,” Keith arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. Lance could hear the hurt barely masked by his accusatory tone.

Lance swallowed the lump in his throat. His palm hurt so bad he had to clench his fists. Unfortunately, Keith took the action as a sign of aggression and his eyes hardened almost instantly.

“Listen, I know you don’t like me but we’re still a team. If you’ve got a problem with me just spit it out, Lance. Stop avoiding me.”

“What problem?” Lance laughed, the sound of it too forced. “You’re imagining things, Keithy boy,” Lance shoved his hands into his pockets and turned to move before Keith stepped in front of him and blocked his path.

“You’re doing it right now!” Keith shouted, his voice echoed against the long empty hallway and Lance winced.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Lance protested. He quickly racked his brain for a lie. “I’m just not in the mood to talk, alright? I’m tired.” He knew it was a weak excuse but he pushed past Keith anyway before he could say anything stupid or blurt out his feelings. Even though he knew his time was running out, even though he knew Keith would reject him again, Lance didn’t want to hear it.

When he made it to his room that night his heart line only stretched halfway across his palm, the black ink darker than before. Lance clenched his fingers over his palm and exhaled.

“Talk to him,” Hunk leaned over Lance’s seat at breakfast the next morning. His eyes were wide and full of desperation. He didn’t bother to keep his voice down.

“What’s the point, Hunk? I already did the whole confession thing, maybe you remember? He threw it in the trash,” Lance gave him a withering look, his words laced with vitriol. It made his friend recoil, but Lance didn’t have the energy to feel guilty.

“He didn’t even read it—he didn’t know it was from you, Lance. Buddy, please,” Hunk sighed and his shoulders slumped in a way that reminded Lance of a scolded puppy. “You’re running out of time. Your line is already—”

“I know that!” Lance let his spoon drop into his bowl and he pushed his chair back with as much force as he could muster. Hunk stumbled to the side and Lance gripped the table until his knuckles turned white.

“You think I want to be remembered as the loser that died of a broken heart? What a lame way for a paladin of Voltron to go out. Maybe I’ll get lucky and I won’t die. Maybe I’ll just wind up as one of the Umbra—”

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Hunk looked as if he had been slapped. Lance knew it had been a low blow, he knew that it was a sensitive issue. The first time he had seen an Umbra was when he met Hunk’s older sister. She was pretty, only a year older than them but while she had the same brown eyes as her brother they held no warmth. Her smiles were sharp, her words even sharper. When their mother had a seizure, she had calmly picked up the phone and called for an ambulance. When they arrived she was on the couch with a book. She didn’t even go to the hospital with them.

Umbra were individuals that lost their heart lines and some would say their ability to feel love at all. The name was chosen because those afflicted changed so much some called them afterimages or shadows of their former selves. They were physically the same person, but ultimately nothing but a darker version.

It was true that the unlucky few that came down with the disease and suffered unrequited love became different afterwards. There were countless theories about the disease, why it only affected certain people, why some simply died and others became Umbra. The hard truth of it was that no one really had the answers.

Lance wasn’t surprised when Hunk turned and left the dining hall without another word. He was being selfish, he knew. Hunk was worried about him, and Lance knew that if he died from this his friends would grieve. And if he didn’t die, well he wasn’t even sure he would be himself anymore.

His heart line had diminished to practically nothing when he forced himself to stand in front of Keith’s door. The burn on his palm was excruciating. When Keith allowed the door to open, Lance gave him a shaky smile.

“Lance?” Keith noticed something was wrong immediately and any possible anger fizzled out in an instant. His eyes were full of unbridled concern. “Are you okay?”

Lance stepped inside the room and held out his hand, palm upwards. Keith turned his attention downwards and confusion slowly gave way to surprise.

“You know, maybe carnations weren’t powerful enough to convey how I felt,” Lance laughed, but it sounded wrong to his ears.

“Lance…is this…” Keith took Lance’s hand into his own as he looked closely at the last trace of black on the palm. Keith’s hands were warm, and Lance wanted so badly to lace their fingers together. He wanted to press a kiss to the back of Keith’s hand, to feel those fingers in his hair. Lance’s hands shook, the last trace of his heart line burning so bad he thought his skin would blister.

Lance pulled his hand free and placed them on either side of Keith’s face before he leaned in and kissed him.

There was one blissful moment of their lips slotted together, warm and tender and perfect before Keith pulled back.

“Lance, I…I don’t…” Keith looked open and vulnerable in a way that Lance had never seen before.

He knew the rejection would come. He had braced for it.

“I know,” Lance managed a soft smile despite the tears that stained his cheeks. A strange numbness started to spread through him and he probably should have been frightened, but he wasn’t. It felt like he watched himself from a distance, aware but disconnected. The rejection should have hurt.

For the first time in ages, his palm stopped burning.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

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[justsomebucky]

Ten Years (Part 9)

Summary: AU. When a major account is on the line at work, reader is forced to revisit some old connections at her ten year high school reunion for a chance at success. Will she let the past consume her, or will she see the future in her grasp?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,144 (minus the flashback)

Warnings: language!!, fluff, mentions of past cheating, confrontation, crying

A/N: Tags are closed. I wrote this so quickly because I got super motivated by all your messages. I think the angst is winding down. This is a turning point for reader, and I’m excited for her. Also, Bucky’s got a lotta ‘splainin’ to do!

Your solitude was short-lived.

“Hey, Y/N?”

You glanced up at the sound of Clint’s voice, trying in vain to wipe your makeup and tears away. Nothing you could do to hide the fact that you’d completely lost it in the hallway a little while ago. “Hey.”

His eyes were sad, but not filled with pity. “I, uh, brought your bag. Figured you might need it.”

Clint handed you the clutch you’d carelessly left on the table. Your phone, debit card, and hotel key were still all tucked safely inside.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

There was a few awkward seconds of silence, then you both tried to talk at the same time.

“Listen, I wanted you to know-“

“Don’t worry about Natasha, she’ll-“

You both chuckled awkwardly, and he motioned for you to go first.

“I just…I wanted you to know that I never meant for anything to get out of hand like it has tonight. I thought it would be a quick thing, and maybe as a bonus we could all make up. My coworker - not James, a girl named Wanda - told me that if I didn’t let this situation go, I’d carry these trust issues for the rest of my life.”

Clint nodded thoughtfully. “Your coworker was right, Y/N. You deserve to find happiness, and if that means letting the past go, then that’s what you have to do.”

You forced a small smile to your face for a brief second. “What were you going to say?”

“Don’t worry about Nat. She’s just a little emotional since we found out about the baby. She’d wanted to buy a house and get settled before any of this happened, but plans change, I guess. She’ll be okay.”

“I still want to talk to her sometime,” you confessed. “I don’t think it’ll ever be like it was, obviously, but I don’t like leaving knowing we’re all still angry.”

He shook his head. “Most of this is my fault anyway, Y/N. It’s not you, it’s not Natasha. I was the one in the wrong in the first place. I’m really, truly sorry for hurting you.”

This Clint was a much more mature version than the one you remembered. He was so unfamiliar to you now, and you knew that fact would help you let this all go.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “I’m sorry for the way everything went down.”

“Do you want me to walk you back to your hotel?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Go back to Nat. Can you tell Scott I said goodbye?”

“Sure. Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll make sure that Nat comes around sometime, I promise.”

“Bye, Clint.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You turned away from Clint Barton and made your way outside without a single glance back.

---

The last thing you felt like doing was going back to your room to be sad and alone, so you changed direction and headed for the diner. If you only stayed a short while, just long enough to say your farewell to one of your favorite places back home, you could avoid the post-reunion crowd.

A seat at the counter was open, so you sat down and promptly ordered a sundae. Maybe a little chocolatey goodness could help you reason with yourself, and help you sort out your problems like it used to when you were younger. Then again, you always sat here with Nat to talk and share ice cream.

Your thoughts drifted back to how hurt and angry she’d seemed. Apparently, she’d gotten her hopes up for tonight, too. Her assessment of you was completely right, too; you never acted like this. You’d been against it from the beginning.  

The diner was basically empty, except for a few younger kids, probably with the drunken munchies, sitting in a booth by the window. The fluorescent lights seemed a little harsher tonight, but it was probably just your tequila hangover reacting poorly.

You used your spoon to swirl some of the chocolate around the dish. Your lack of appetite was making this even more depressing; it had to be bad when hot fudge sundaes were of little to no comfort.

Why were you letting yourself feel like this? You had solid reasons for trying to get an in with a major potential client. People network all the time. Why should tonight be different?

So what if Nat was angry tonight? Anger fades.

So what if you lost your job? There were lots of jobs just like it in the city. It’s not like you were going to be back here, scrounging for whatever someone would offer you. Besides, you didn’t like the person you needed to be to succeed on Bucky’s level at Wakanda, Inc.

And so what if Bucky hated you? You’d lived this long without him, you could keep it up. It’s not like he would ever care about you like that anyways. His job was priority, which was made clear tonight. Scott was insane for suggesting otherwise, and so was Virginia.

Sorry, not Virginia, Pepper. You seriously doubted that you’d ever get used to calling her that now.

The little bell on the front door jingled behind you, but you didn’t bother to look. It was too early to be the reunion crowd.

“That looks amazing right about now.”

You froze.

Natasha climbed up onto the stool beside you. She reached for a spoon from a napkin beside her, and started scooping out bites of sundae. “It’s just as good as I remember,” she confirmed, smirking up at you.

All you could do was blink in surprise.

“I know, you’re probably wondering what the heck I’m here for, after I just yelled at you in front of Pepper.” She set the spoon down against the side of the dish, then folded her arms on the counter. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was trying to find a reason to be mad at you, I think, for being mad at me before. Does that make sense?”

“I’m not mad anymore, Nat.” You set your own spoon down and cleared your throat. “I just…”

Her eyes flickered to yours in question.

You shrugged a shoulder. “Being an adult is scary. I don’t know how else to word it. I left here because I thought my high school drama was the worst thing ever. It turns out, having someone else decide your fate all the time is way worse. Control over your destiny is a total joke. I can’t force my boss not to fire me. I can’t force someone to help me get a contract. I especially can’t force someone to actually like me.”

You sighed when she still didn’t say anything. Natasha was finally letting you have your say.

“I didn’t think it would be like this,” you admitted. “Everything was easy for me in school, in college. Now the stakes are higher, and I can’t get anything to go right.”

“I think you’re too hard on yourself, Y/N.” She leaned back with a little shake of her head. “You never used to try to plan anything…it’s not like you. Your strength lies in your ability to use obstacles as life lessons. You use problems as ladders to get yourself to something better. You aren’t the kind of person to sit here and mope, when what you want is so close.”

You let out a humorless chuckle. “And what’s that?”

Natasha’s smirk returned. “Well, for one, that handsome-as-hell coworker of yours is in the most convenient of places, a hotel room.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Natasha…”

“Second,” she continued, undeterred. “I had a little chat with Pepper. She really wants you guys to get the contract as soon as possible.”

“Really?” Your puffy eyes widened in disbelief. “She said that? You aren’t messing with me as revenge?”

“No,” Nat laughed. “I am too tired, too in need of this sundae to be that way right now.” She grabbed her spoon again. “Anyways, your company can confirm with her on Monday. There are three conditions she came up with, ones that will protect your company.”

“Go on.” You were in no position to say no if it meant that you could, as Bucky had said earlier, salvage the evening.

“Your name has to stay off of all the documents. It’s not illegal, but it could get us even more bad press if someone figured out how you’re associated with me or Pepper.”

“I can do that.” I have no choice, you added silently.

“Second, she still needs your team to present the bid to Tony. They have to look at everyone with a good pitch, to be fair. If some other company catches his eye, there’s a chance you lose the contract.”

“That’s fair.” It’s closer than you were earlier, that’s for sure.

Natasha nodded. “The third condition is that whichever one of your cohorts takes the case, they can’t drop it and leave it for a new team to handle. The person involved has to be able to see it through to the end.”

Bucky wasn’t going to like that. He admitted he likes the chase of the new client, sort of putting them in his rear-view mirror once they signed the dotted line. He’d deal, though, if it meant boosting the chance of the company’s survival.

“I think that they can handle that.”

“They?” She raised an eyebrow at you. “You aren’t sure it will be Bucky?”

“I’m not going to promise to be sure of anything anymore, Nat. But, he is lead, and he is the best they have, so I’m sure he’ll be involved.”

“Great. I’ll let Pepper know. She already talked to Tony, and he’s definitely interested. He wants the first pitch to be from Wakanda, Inc.”

Gratitude flooded your whole body. “Thank you, Natasha. You and Pepper really didn’t have to do that for us after how I’ve behaved.”

“And you didn’t have to make amends after how I behaved, but here we are at this damn diner, having the same kind of sundae we used to have.” She paused for a moment. “For the record, I’m glad you showed up tonight.”

You flashed her a genuine smile. “Honestly? Me too.”

---

Natasha left with a promise to come visit you sometime during your lunch hour, since you both worked in the city. She and Clint were apparently moving closer so that her commute would be easier in the future, which meant that they’d only be a short train ride away.

You walked slowly back to your hotel room, half taking everything in for memory’s sake, half dreading seeing Bucky again. You knew what you had to do, but it wasn’t going to be easy for you.

After you were safely inside your hotel room, you packed up your things, wrote a quick note explaining everything Nat had told you to Bucky, and shut your door quietly behind you.

You tiptoed to Bucky’s door, leaning over just long enough to shove the rental car keys and your note underneath it. You felt your chest clench at the thought of him just inside the room. Was he still mad? Was he relieved that this was all over?

Would he even care that you were sneaking out?

Better yet, should you even care what he thought?

After all, Bucky had used you, too. You were a means to an end for him. He left you alone in that hallway to cry your eyes out without stopping to hear your side of anything. Could you ever want someone like that?

He’d seemed so different when you were trouncing around Manhattan taking selfies, or even at your apartment while he snuggled with Mr. Fuzzypants. Playing pretend with him was infinitely better than this reality you’d been thrown into.

How could someone have two completely different sides to them?

You realized tonight that you would never be the kind of person that could tear though lives to get what they wanted. If that’s what they expected you do to in order to get to the top at work, forget it.

If that was the kind of person Bucky wanted you to be, forget him, too.

It was time to look out for yourself, to be cautious with the attachments you formed. You didn’t need to shy away from them, just use a little more care. Like Pepper had said, you wore your heart on your sleeve too much, and it made it easy for others to take advantage of you.

Once you’d checked out of the hotel, you waited for your driver in the lobby. The app said that they were only five minutes away, and it was cheaper than a regular cab, so you figured you’d go ahead with it just to get home sooner. The thought of having to ride in the car with Bucky in the morning was one that you could not stand.

You got the notification saying the driver was out front, so you grabbed your bag, and you had almost made it out the front door when you heard Bucky call your name behind you.

“Wait,” he pleaded. His voice had never sounded quite so uncertain before.

How did one night cause all this drama?

You stopped just short of the door, and stared at his reflection in the glass, before turning to face him with a sigh. It hurt to even look at him. These past two weeks had been fun, even if they were for the wrong reasons. He’d grown on you, and you knew you were going to miss him.

“I’m heading back tonight.”

“I can see that.” Bucky’s brows furrowed, and he lifted the hand that was currently clutching your note as he moved toward you. “How did you get them to come around and offer a meeting?”

“I couldn’t tell you. They are just good people, and we go way back. Maybe they felt bad for me, I don’t know. Anyway, I have to go, my ride is here.” You made the move to turn again, but his hands came up to your upper arms and held you in place.

You felt a little tingle roll down your spine at his touch.

“You don’t have to go,” he murmured, his eyes searching yours. You noted they were much lighter than before.

Your own eyes strayed to his lips. They were so close, all you’d have to do is lean forward a few inches…if you could just lean forward, everything might be different…

But you weren’t going to be working at Wakanda, Inc. much longer. You had no choice but to quit now. You weren’t going to see him anymore. He had a case to work on, a company to save, and you couldn’t be a part of it any longer.

You forced yourself to look back at his eyes, banishing any thoughts of acting on your feelings from your brain. “Actually, Bucky, if you read the note, you know it’s exactly what I have to do. I can’t be involved in this little operation anymore.”

Bucky shifted a little closer, standing in your personal space now. “I don’t want you to leave here angry with me.”

“I just told you, I’m leaving because-“

“You’re leaving because of me,” he argued, shaking his head. “Please, can we at least talk about tonight before you leave? Preferably not in the lobby?”

“You’re the one that took off first, Bucky. You saw how upset I was, and you left anyway. So now I’m leaving, okay? Goodnight.” You still couldn’t wriggle from his grasp. “Let me go, let me end tonight on a good note while I still have the chance.”

Bucky leaned in, eyes wide. “The meeting doesn’t matter now. I’ve been sitting here thinking, Y/N, and for the first time in my life, the fucking meeting doesn’t matter to me now.”

“It doesn’t matter now?” You couldn’t believe him. The drama, the pain you’d inflicted on everyone around you suddenly didn’t matter anymore? That was such bullshit. “Bucky, you literally made me come here because of the chance at a meeting. You dragged me around town to make me presentable just for this meeting. You prepped me, groomed me, made me behave a certain way, made me feel like I wasn’t enough…all of this, all your actions have been for this fucking meeting!”

The driver outside impatiently honked twice, so you pulled away from Bucky.

Exhaustion hit you like an ocean wave.

It wasn’t worth being mad, you realized. It wasn’t worth leaving another relationship in tatters because of this one event. If you were letting one drama go, you had to let them all go.

“Bucky, look…the compromise, for the good of the deal, was that I back off. I’m going to do that, for the company and for you. But right now, I need to go home, relax, and try to think of what I’m going to do next. I’m going home.” You pulled away from his grasp finally, and took a few steps backwards.

A defeated look crossed his handsome features. “I’m sure we can…there’s something we can do, here, Y/N, you deserve credit…”

You shook your head, then turned to push the lobby door open. “Goodnight, Bucky.”

“It wasn’t all for the meeting,” Bucky called out behind you. “I thought it was, too, but I was wrong.”

“Congratulations, and good luck to you,” you replied, letting the glass door close behind you.

It added some finality to this whole weekend. You tried to tell yourself that this was for the best, that you and Bucky were too different. He was just on edge, and you were emotional, and come Monday, it’d be back to the grind for him. You’d heard before that he was good at trading one person for another, so it probably wouldn’t be anything for him to just move on with his life.

Meanwhile, you were once again sacrificing your own happiness and security for someone else, but this time you were okay with it. Deep down, you knew that you were doing the right thing for once this evening, and that made it worth it.

Your heels clicked loudly on the sidewalk as you made your way to the car. The driver helped you with your bag, and soon you were off, headed back to the city. Monday would bring changes, but maybe you were ready for them. Maybe it was exactly what you needed, after a little rest.

You didn’t bother to take another glance at the hotel door.

---

Part 10

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