#REALLY long post if the read more doesn't work I'm gonna throw hands

[badlydrawnronpa]

hi anon ty for sending the message! I did look through their blog and they very obviously use AI - I would've published the ask normally to let other people know but I decided against it in the end because after a closer inspection I noticed that all commissions are fake (besides being fake art I mean) and they're not actually scamming anyone because. uh. literally most of the blogs I saw interact with them are empty rp blogs that are blatantly controlled by them and one of the commissions I saw on their patreon was for a defunct ohsc rp blog from 2014??? Which honestly was really funny.

so yeah, they're very much not pulling any money from that, and on top of it all they posted pics of themselves sooooo yeh, not going to blast them on a blog with a big following for trying the 'i dont use ai im a real artist' but ultimately not scamming anyone out of their money. They're also not the best at like... hiding they're using AI because you can see their traditional art in other posts, and the style or experience level doesn't match at all.

I will post some of their AI stuff underneath the read more and point out the inconsistencies tho, to help out other people in spotting out ai shit (esp non artists that might have an harder time figuring things out). If you find out the original user that posted these, please don't harass them, be civil.

BTW I'M SAYING THIS NOW: if you see something I point out and say ''ah, I do that, I'm in trouble" - no you're not, if you actually draw the stuff yourself. You can see when an artist's work (and mistakes!) are genuine. Beginner's mistakes can be made by experienced artists too, but if you look at their entire body of work you can see when something doesn't add up.

to start off, I saw anon calling them out on this one so I'm just reiterating some of the points, but here's some junko 'art' they made

when confronted abt it, they said that the fingers look weird because they can't control their shaky hands and drawing small is hard. anyway if you draw digitally you can zoom in on the canvas and work on a detail as big as you need, so that excuse doesn't hold

this other post was basically what made me just say 'yep thats ai' and it was just the second 'art' post I saw from them

while taken alone they could've been a little harder to spot as AI, with them all bundled together you can easily see they came from the same prompt; the user tried to justify the inconsistencies saying it was because they were 'experimenting' with the design of their oc and gundham's scar but I'm telling you now, no sane artist fully renders four pieces that are basically the same concept while changing the design of the character just slightly in every single one of them. anyway, here's the breakdown of every piece:

another that was way easier to break down because it's so full of inconsistencies the moment you really take a look at it

also let's be real if you render art like that you're not gonna put a bright purple unreadable text on your supposed vtuber "art"

let's end this with the AI "commission" that could be harder to break down as AI if seen in a vacuum now, shall we? esp because our friend, the fucked up melty finger, isn't there

I honestly had to look for a while at this one because if you had shown it to me and I didn't see the other stuff this person posted, I could've just chalked up a lot of these mistakes to human error. Tangents between lines, scribbles for details, forgotten uncolored sections is all normal stuff. BUT we know this person used AI in all the other posts, so we know what to look at:

again, some mistakes the AI does can be also mistakes actual artists do: be sure to check the other art the user makes before throwing accusations

they also posted a fake speedpaint that is so embarassing it made me laugh but if I start pointing out inconsistencies in an AI speedpaint we're gonna be here for a long time, so.

TL;DR AI 'ART' SIGNS:

The classics: hands and fingers don't make sense, there's additional weird lines and they melt into other part of the drawing

long hair strands and other long or flowy elements can suddenly disappear behind objects and not reappear where they should

jewels, intricate details, hairpins and other accessories bend and melt into each other and other part of the design

the resolution of the image is very low and/or grainy - a lot of artists post lower res pieces online, but again: look for a pattern and combos of all the other signs

inconsistencies between multiple art posts, character designs constantly being different, sudden art style changes - while this can also be found with real artists, this is an additional tell of someone using AI, when combined with the stuff I mentioned above. humans mistakes usually have a reason for what they happen, AI makes them because it doesnt understand what it's doing most of the time

[melanieph321]

Hi lovely,

I’m actually kind of new to Tumblr so I don’t know how this works but you were actually one of the first bloggers that popped up on my feed with your post about Kenan Yildiz 😭and I really enjoyed reading it so much. And then I clicked on your feed and noticed that you take request I don’t know if you do that anymore but I wanted to give it a try. I was thinking that maybe the reader and Kenan are dating but keeping it private since she’s the sister of one of his best friends on the team (maybe Vlahović) So when Juventus celebrated their win ,against another club, they went to a restaurant to celebrate and the waiter was constantly hitting on the reader which made Kenan very jealous so he made sure the waiter knows who you belong with(maybe giving the reader a hickey) and he made sure that the waiter saw how Kenan followed you to the bathroom.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you but anyways just wanted to get that of my chest 💕🎀

Love this! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Kenan Yildiz x Reader - Claim Me Part 1/3

Enjoy!

"I have to go."

"What, no. Five more minutes."

"Kenan." You chuckled. The hardest part was always to get him off of you. After Juventus successful Copa Italia win against Atalanta, it was practically impossible. Kenan had you escaping yesterdays celebrations by sneaking back to his hotel room. There you did unspeakable things to each other. Fun. But unspeakable things.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He mumbled and planted soft kisses against your neck.

"Thank you." You giggled and did not reject the way he wanted to keep you in bed with him. However, there was just one small problem...

"I have to get back to my room before my family notices that I'm gone."

"Relax, I saw your sister dancing on top of a table before we left the club last night. I'm sure she'll still be passed out drunk by the time you get back."

"Yes, my sister perhaps, but my brother won't be."

Kenan raised his head from the crook of your neck. The mentioning of Dusan always set him off, especially if you mentioned him in a moment of intimacy, which has happened more than once before.

"He'll be the first one to look for me." You nodded.

Kenan sighed and rolled onto his back, letting you go.

"Thank you." You bent down to kiss his lips before rushing to the bathroom. However, you did not remain in there for long.

"Fuck!"

You were quick to stumbled back into the room, a hand covering your throat and a struck of panic in your eyes.

"What?" Kenan asked, seeing the expression on your face.

"I hate you."

"What did I do?"

"Kenan, you didn't."

"I didn't do what?" He said, rightfully confused.

You released the hand covering your throat, revealing a hickey the size of a coin.

"Fuck."

"Yes, fuck you." You sprung towards the bed, ambushing your boyfriend with harmless punches to the sheets.

"Baby." He chuckled. "I'm really sorry, okay."

"Sorry? Sorry won't cut it Kenan, Dusan will kill me if he sees it."

Kenan caught your hands, preventing you from throwing any more punches. "You mean me." He said. "I'm pretty sure I'll be the first one your brother would want to kill."

"Think again. He doesn't even know that we're seeing each other Kenan,  I'm the one he's gonna kill."

"Well, maybe it's time we tell him that we're together then?"

You paused, eyes searching your boyfriend's face. He had soft features. Trying to cover them up with a cut to his eyebrow only made him look more like a puppy dog. "You're out of your mind." You said and climbed off of him.

"Right. I'm out of my mind for wanting to be able to hold my girlfriends hand in public, or better yet, kiss her in public."

"Yes, Kenan. You're out of your mind for that. I've told you that my brother won't allow it."

"Well, maybe it's time you stick up to your brother then? Or perhaps our relationship is not worth the hassle?"

It's not that easy, you thought.

Despite what Kenan thought, it was not that easy. You had always been the baby of the family, the youngest three. Your oldest brother Dusan always watched over you like a hawk. But as you grew older, you began to feel suffocated by his constant protection. You longed for the freedom to make your own decisions and live your own life. But that wasn't the case right now.

"I'm back!" You announced, after receiving about a dusin text message from Dusan on your way up the hotel elevator. You had just shut the door behind you when his head popped out from the bathroom.

"Where have you been?" He asked. Getting up before seven AM after a night of celebrations was mental. But that's just who your brother was, a control freak in all things.

"I was just out for a run." You said.

"Wearing heels?"

He shot a glance at the pair that you were holding in your hands.

"Yes, Dusan. In my heels. It's a trend, look it up."

He shook his head but did not question you further. "Remember, be ready for lunch with the team this afternoon."

"Right." You crossed the joint living area on your way to your bedroom.

"I mean it, Y/N. Remind Nina to be ready on time as well."

"Yeah, yeah. I will."

You shut the door behind you and were quick to peel down the laces to your dress, stepping out of it. You left it on the floor,  amongst the other scattered clothes in the dungeon that you and your sister had been sharing for the weekend. She lay fast asleep as you joined her under the covers. Sometimes, you wondered how the two of you turned out so chill while Dusan got the off gene. I guess you'd never find out.

[fountainpenguin]

"I wanna hold you, baby, 'cuz I'm gonna miss you like crazy even if I'm halfway around the world~!" (x)

One and a Half Birds

💙 Read on AO3

🧡 Complete! - 15/15 chapters - 113k words

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

A server hub story about Mumbo proposing the soul-eating dynamic to Grian before they roleplay it... and Grian fretting over what might happen when he reveals his soul is purple, not blue like everyone else's in this world.

Newbie pictures, creeper biology, hungry phantom hybrids, Watcher Grian drama, and Minecraft surgery await in this hurt/comfort story of friendship and communication.

ft. platonic Buttercups (Grian, Mumbo, Scar) with flirty Ahasbands (Martyn/Mumbo) working out their post-Last Life relationship on the side. Super pleased with how it came out. Enjoy!

(First 1,000 words below the cut)

One and a Half Birds

Baby Pictures

💙  🧡  💚

The thing about Grian is that he has a tendency to buck his head, throwing it back any time he explodes in laughter. It's better than the feel of his jagged fingernails curling tight against your arm and only slightly easier to duck than his flapping wings. Mumbo leans sideways, clutching his drink near his chest, as Grian does exactly what he always does: which is, of course, all three. "Pfffft! Oh, Scaaar! Wow… I never- I never knew you were such a little nerd back in your newbie days! What is up with your hair? Is that white dye?"

Careful, Grian… I really, really don't want to spill this all over your lovely couch. Grian's actually got a nice flat for someone who rarely lingers here while in Between. Mumbo cups one hand around his wooden cup, catching a droplet before it can splatter on a throw pillow.

"Hey, hey," Scar protests, leaning forward. Grian and Mumbo are on the couch, but Scar is standing with one hand inside his jacket pocket. Grian's still got a finger jabbing at the screenshot in the scrapbook. It probably looks upside-down to Scar. That fits.

The sheepish boy in the picture (who's dangling upside-down himself from an oak branch) is grinning at his own reflection in the pond below. He's a whole lot younger than the Scar standing in front of them now. If you squint, you can see the places he hadn't quite grown into his own skin. The blue wings flapping at his shoulders are smaller, but much brighter in color. Definitely an allay hybrid in a way the vex standing before them isn't.

"You look like Victor Frankenstein."

"That was 700 years ago! Don't be picking on a man's looks. Little Scar can't even defend himself!"

"Little Scar can't do nuttin' to me. I'll talk about his silly hair all I like."

Scar surges forward, scooping Grian behind the back and under the legs. Grian's wings snap out. He hardly has time to yelp before Scar flips him backwards off the couch. Mumbo's brows shoot into his hair. Grian scrabbles with his fingertips, howling and gasping, and Scar springs knee-first on the cushions to grab his wrists. Their pixels slam together, spurting sparks, and Grian (knees already on the ground) tilts back his head. Scar draws in close, breathing slow, until his mouth is practically brushing Grian's ear.

"Long… live… the king."

With that, he shoves Grian to the floor with a thud. Grian doesn't get up, but lies there like a fish, crumpled in his own jumper. Mumbo chuckles.

"Never a dull moment with you two, huh? … You wanna see my newbie pictures?"

That does get Grian off the floor. Scar drops down on the cushion beside him and Grian pops up from behind the couch, arms folded on the back of it. Mumbo flips through the pages in his own book, looking for one in particular he's not even sure he still has. He's only a couple in when Grian slams down his hand, crowing laughter.

"You're younger than me, Mumbo! Why do you look like an old man?"

It's true. He sort of does, doesn't he? Wrinkled forehead, dark and squinty eyes… He's even wearing a bowtie in most of these, though back then he hadn't picked out the three-piece suit he often wears in public now. Mostly white button-ups. Occasionally his full wandering trader robes. Mumbo got his start much younger than Scar did, though he's not sure he can say the same for Grian.

He squints, running his thumb down the corner of one screenshot in particular. Unlike Scar's pictures from his first singleplayer, most of his were taken in the Between dimension. Huh. His home village of Little Sun has changed quite a lot, actually, from what it used to be… but the spawn temple with its little teal and turquoise banners is still the same.

And yet… I still have Double-U and Buzz. His llamas have stayed beside him all his off-server life. Their white wool still flourishes, accented with familiar pale brown spots like chunks of cookie dough in vanilla ice cream. The spots shift around between their respawns, but the long lashes and affectionate headbutts are always the same. Speaking of the girls, he should send False a whisper to confirm she actually did check on them tonight. He doesn't doubt her… His comm just hasn't pinged with an incoming message yet.

"You look like Etho," Scar observes, indicating the red scarf wrapped around his mouth in one screenshot on the next page.

"Sorry- I just can't get over how old and tired you look, Mumbo… I doubt you'd even made it to the Far Lands back then, but this fella already looks like he's seen too much."

"Oh, go on, then!" Mumbo claps the book shut. "Let's see your newbie screenshots."

All the energy whirls out of Grian chest in that moment. "My what?"

"Yeah! Let's do that!" Scar throws an arm around him, double punching Grian in the shoulder so hard, he flashes red. "C'mon, G! Get the book! You know, I half believe you spawned into existence without ever being a newbie account. I've literally never heard you talk about your spawn temple."

"Um-"

Mumbo concurs with a lift of his drink, like making a toast. "Look, you can't talk smack and then leave us hanging, bud. That just ain't bro!" (Is he saying that right? The whole 'dragon bro' bit was always a mite difficult to wrap his head around).

"… Right. Uh, let me just…" Grian pushes away from the couch, sliding his hands into his pockets. Mumbo watches his tongue press against the inside of his cheek. "Right, okay… Let me just ask Two where he last put it…"

Mumbo and Scar let him go, both craning their heads to follow Grian along the corridor with their eyes anyway. Two, BadTime, and Drone are all in Two's room frosting cookies and making party plans. Mumbo watches Grian twist the doorknob, then returns his attention to the book of screenshots in his lap. You know, there are some really nice ones in here. His only regret may be not taking more while he had the chance.

I like to think I grew up nice, actually… And then, Why aren't WE having a party in pajamas? Don't get him wrong, because he loves his suspenders and Scar likes his jacket (and Grian is, well, Grian), but…

"Scar? We're missing out, bud."

"S'cuse me?"

"No pajamas."

"Oh… Next time!"

[Full story on AO3 - Link at top]

[madrabit]

for the fic ask game: 🍑🫐

Hey, thank you for the ask ☺️💖 my rambling got a bit long, sorry for that!

If you also want to send me some fruits 🫐🍒🍓🥭🍏, feel free to do so!! 💗✨️

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

Mhmm… that question is very interesting, but I think this is a good way to combine one of my favorite TV series with our silly Slovenian soft bois.

(Okay, so this is gonna be long and rambly and I only have a half baked knowledge of the show and I have not read the books, just to warn you!)

In this post I already compared Bojan and Jan with Quentin and Eliot from The Magicians and I still think it's a very good comparison! (Mostly looks wise, character wise they are a little different, even though both Quentin and Bojan have anxiety, but Q has some more stuff going on that I hope Bojči doesn't).

It's the hand on the neck for me omg. God maybe I should do another post about them...

I would so love to see Jan and Bojan and all the others ngl as students in Brakebills or maybe in Fillory, I'm sure Bojan and Nace would love the talking animals, while Jure would be so into the Flying Forest (it's opium laced, I'm sure kitty would have fun).

Also, I absolutely love magical AUs and them at a magical College would be such an interesting thought. And all the different disciplines are so much fun to play with!

Bojan: He would definitely be one of the physical kids. He'd have a good grip on telekinesis, maybe even be able to do some fire manipulation and some minor mending (small object reparation). Although one might argue he could also be an empath, I wouldn't wanna put him in the psychic discipline, since a lot of psychics have a base level of telepathy and I think it only would make him even more anxious and I really wouldn't want that ngl. But since the physical kids are also quite social (and the best party people), I think it fits very well with him.

Jan: also strikes me as either a physical kid or one of the psychics. I feel like he'd be able to focus on fire manipulation and cold magic, but telekinesis and phosphoromancy (light bending) also seem like a good fit for him and honestly, I think he'd be able to at least be able to work a few different disciplines easier than usual. For some reason I feel if he were a psychic, he'd had the discipline of either telepathy or precognition, maybe even astral projection, but I'd rather say he's a physical kid, him and Bojan would throw the best parties.

Nace: He is a lil harder, for me he's either a physical kid or a healer. If he were a physical kid I 100% think his discipline would be mending, both major and minor, maybe also with a dash of telekinesis, but healing magic also seems like a good fit for him. He's nurturing, an absolute sweetheart and he has that calming presence and seems like he loves being helpful which would make him a perfect healer (those traits also would fit very well with mending btw). 

But he's not only that. He's chaotic, he's a silly goose who sometimes can be a bit thoughtless in what he says and doesn't realise sth might come off a bit wrong and I'm sure he's not that innocent little bean we make him out to be, at least not all the time. So while that obviously doesn't prevent him from being a healer, I think he'd be a good fit for the physical kids.

Kris: I feel like he'd be one of the few students of knowledge trying to understand how magic works. Since Knowledge is a mix of psychic and physical magic, I feel it might be a good fit for him. There aren't a lot of disciplines, but I think meta-composition (taking spells apart and understanding the separate components and maybe even creating new spells) would be a good thing for him. On the other hand I think he might also have some illusion magic, but mostly knowledge. He also gives me major Julia vibes in that regard.

Jure: I feel like Jure would most likely be a naturalist. He spends a lot of time in nature, seems grounded by it and seems to use it as a way to recharge, so I think it would fit him quite well. Nature magic can either be focused on the weather, which would fit with the sunshine kitty, or on plants.

But he also could be an illusionist. I'm sure he'd be quite good at vanishing, cloaking and invisibility, since he manages to keep a lot of stuff private and stay under the radar, just as I think he might like.

For some reason, I also think he might even be able to do inter-dimensional travel (like Penny), idk why, but I just think it would fit him.

(Also, magicians have to be good with their fingers, so I think the boys would be good at it)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Ohhhhh, that answer is so very obvious 🤭 I think a lot of ships are underrated. First, I'd obviously say BoJance, my favorite little throuple! These three fit so well together, but there aren't a lot of fics. The same goes for BoJan (although the work count has increased there and I love it so much!!) and BoNace and I just wish more ppl would write for them.

And as a surprise, I think one other criminally underrated ship is JuKris!

[sadaveniren]

Hiiiii!!! I saw your post about your kids asking you about your collar. Would you be open on providing further information on how a 24/7 master/slave relationship works with having kids? I am assuming it would be difficult to insert the sexual part of it when you’re also having to look after innocent children. Also! I am surprised with the fact that you’re in a 24/7 arrangement! I have so many questions that I want answers but I don’t want to invade your privacy!!! thank youuus

Hi!! It's no problem at all I try to be pretty open about everything, mostly to destigmatize kink. So for us navigating the 24/7 relationship while having a kid feels no different than I imagine any couple with a kid feels, because a good chunk of our dynamic isn't actually sexual. I feel like that's the first thing people really misunderstand, just because we are in a 24/7 relationship doesn't mean we are having sex 24/7 (most days... like obviously on a vacation where we have nothing else to do we definitely have just-- you know what that's probably TMI lol but just know, sex is healthy and fun and your local bdsm mom is VERY well taken care of), we just have total power exchange. (rip the gcs and my irl friends who get texts from me being like GUESS WHO JUST GOT THE FUCK OF THEIR LIFE)

Just gonna throw everything else under a cut here cause I can. You're welcome to come back (on or off anon) and ask questions! If you're curious here's a good blog post about TPE if you don't wanna just read my own experiences.

Now. Hello. Sada long post time.

I understand that to a naive and casual observer TPE can look like abuse, especially when you throw in mine and my husband's other kinks (i'm service orientated and a masochist, and they're a pleasure dom sadist) but I cannot express enough that this arrangement is 100% consensual, and was entered of sane mind etc etc. if my "you poor dumb autistic person" anon come back, preemptively, you can choke 🙃 Please understand our friends and family know we are in this relationship and not one person who knows us has ever had any concerns. My dad literally asked me where I got my collar because he wanted to recommend it to a co-worker of his.

How we navigate our dynamic in public honestly comes across as us being Very Polite And Loving to one another. We use terms of endearments to address each other instead of our titles. Every order my husband gives me includes him saying please, and he thanks me for everything he's asked me to do. We touch often, holding hands, snuggling, casual kisses. The first thing either of us do upon coming home is greet each other. We do let some subtle protocol slip through to public, such as I always sit on my husband's right (cause I'm his right hand haha), I wear my collar all of the time, and any clothing I wear is approved by my husband.

For us personally though... the best way I can describe it is we operate as one person separated into two bodies. My husband gives me orders for things they need done that they can't take care of in that moment. I am their's to order around as they want because everything they order me to do is for us. And that's why I am more than happy to fulfill those orders, because I'm doing them for us. We are like... the ultimate team. Two people working together for the same goal.

Our relationship and dynamic isn't for everyone. It's a very intense relationship and our feelings for each other run very deep. We've been together in some form of a BDSM relationship for 16 years and known each other since we were both 15. We didn't just jump into the TPE for a long while, but after being together for as long as we have certain things just work. We have negotiated a lot. We have explored a lot. We trust each other.

I belong to my husband entirely but people need to understand my husband belongs to me too. I think the loyalty and love a submissive has for their dominant is something that isn't always talked about, probably because it can so easily get stigmatized and categorized as part of abuse. I genuinely feel free in this dynamic, and like... ngl this type of relationship is exactly what I dreamed of for as long as I can remember wanting a relationship. TPE allows me to focus my energy on doing what I like (which is taking care of someone else's needs) and in return I am treasured.

My husband loves me with everything they are and their role, as the dominant, is to take care of me. They are my biggest advocate when it comes to my health. Just as quickly as they order me to get them water they are also ordering me to take 5 minutes to myself because they can tell I'm getting overwhelmed. They make sure I take my medicine every morning and that I've eaten. They know that my role is to take care of them, and in return, they take care of me. And it makes me so insanely happy.

[heatwa-ves]

please explain your izuleo playlist with as much detail as you want im interestedddd

MIKIIII THANK YOU. okay here's my playlist and im gonna do a song by song breakdown... I'll try and keep it decently brief so this doesn't become one million words but we'll see. my playlist is vaguely chronological so it starts pre-checkmate!

astroboy- suggi

okay so this one is just straight up a leo song. you just have to listen to it it's literally about him "I raised my hands up real high, they called me stupid when I asked why we couldn't fly. am I too far ahead of my friends, or I am late?" hellooooo hello. hi. leo tsukinaga everyone!!!! right down to the moon/space theming

"oh, the rain, you're losing your flame, where'd the burn, the passion go? you run through the pain, you're losing your aim, and you feel like you alone missed the grow" LITERALLY about his breakdown post checkmate. uagh.

cheerleader- ashnikko

an izumi song!!! I don't have to explain anything here you get the vibes

brand new city- mitski

having to preface this by saying I do not listen to mitski this is the only song of hers I listen to and only because it makes me think of izumi so much I feel like throwing up.

"If I gave up on being pretty I wouldn't know how to be alive, I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die." yeah. izumi sena.

yoru ni kakeru- yoasobi

well I'm sure you know this song and the story behind it "the seduction of thanatos" I think it works very well about the izuleo dynamic around this time when they're very codependent and leo is so severely depressed and suicidal. they're fucked up 👍

it's all so incredibly loud- glass animals

so this one makes me think of izumi going to see leo in a similar vein to lionheart but probably before that and he sees leo so broken and neither of them can bring themselves to say anything. "I tried, for you and I, for too hard, for too long" makes me think of the ending scene of lionheart and so on

softcore- the neighborhood

"you've been my muse for a long time, you get me through every dark night. I'm always gone, out on the go, I'm on the run and you're home alone"

"every time I kiss you, baby, I can hear the sound of breaking down"

you get it. you see the vision. more depression era stuff.

less of you- keshi

depression era leo... there's so many lines in this song that correlate to them but a fav is "too much time in the limelight, gimme your all on the land line, want it so bad but I won't lie and it just gets worse in the night time."

are you happy? - shy martin

"and I know I thought that pain's part of love, but I think I broke you, though I didn't mean to. but are you happy, looking back at us when you met me? would you go back and tell yourself to leave it, knowing what we know?" UARFGHBHBB izumi.... who killed cock robin ass song.

from now on we are enemies - fall out boy

I've talked about this one EXTENSIVELY before but it really is just a song about leo tsukinaga. what else can I say.

always- keshi

well yk.

bad thoughts- half alive

i love when they hate eachother. they don't actually truly hate eachother but man sometimes it feels like it. everything hurts. "like a time you gave your all but just got hurt, like a crack in the mirror bringing out your worst"

to everyone who wants to die- takayan

read the translation oh my goddddd. leo. leo

sing to me- missio

this is a song I DREAM of making an animatic to its just so deeply fundamentally leo

never ending song- conan gray

okay this one is a bit more specific but I like to think of leo while he's out of school seeing izumi in a magazine or an ad or something.. and that brings with it a whole ton of complicated feelings

"but we've grown too close, now it can't amount to nothing. I can hear your voice in the music on the radio, and it goes on and on and on, like a never-ending song" you get ittttt

bodybag- chloe moriondo

more of the vibes more of the complicated feelings . this one is mostly here bc I love it and was thinking about izlo while listening icl. unrelated but chloe moriondo is cool as hell they have some awesome music videos especially the one for this song

love or the lack thereof - isaac dunbar

the epitome of pre/early ! izlo love. to meeee also I just love love loveeee it as a song

last minute - kitty

"you're the loop of rope I hung up in my stupid closet" "you're all poised and im made of poison" do you get it do you GET it. it's leo about izumi frfrfrrr

"could you wrap your hands all the way around my neck, and tell me where I stand, tell me everything I'm wrecking when I spin. take over my breath, in out in, I am missing you to death"

android girl- deco*27

I love this song and while I love the original im partial to rachies english cover especially the lines

"we restart and fall apart together, what we have will drag on in this way forever"

"make it stop, make it stop there's so much guilt and regret, I don't get how I can forget and start to hope again, we haven't even come to the end, so much for promising together forever, we aren't even friends"

the girl in my memories- jeebanoff

"in place of your fleeing love, only my sad solitude remains, even though that time won't come again, the memories that are gone, are forever" more depression yaaay

achilles come down- gang of youths

SORRY it's just such a compelling look at depression and being suicidal... so many of these songs are about Leo's depression but I swear this part of the playlist is over soon and moves further in the timeline. I really love this song it's just... everything about it... leo is achilles here of course and the voices talking him down and telling him to go through with it are his family/izumi and his own mind/the students from school respectively.

calender girl- stars

"all of the things that I thought were so easy just got harder and harder each day. december is darkest, in june there's the light, but this empty bedroom won't make anything right, while out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home, who waits up for me all through the night- calendar girl who's in love with the world, stay alive"

HEALING!!!!! GROWING AS A PERSON!!!!!! OVERCOMING DEPRESSION!!!! DO YOU GET IT

"I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do, and when I awoke I was sure it was true. I ran to the window, threw my head to the sky, and said "whoever is up there, please don't let me die," but I can't live forever, I can't always be, one day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea"

crush of judgement- knights killers

i don't need to explain this one

move me- half alive

THE izuleo song THE reason I made this playlist. won't you be my song when I cant dance WON'T YOU BE MY SONG WHEN I CANT DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! LIGHT MY FIRE BURN THE TREES!!!!!!!!! also watch the music video it's gorgeous

the third heart- harumaki gohan

first of all go play genei ap rn it's a short mobile game created by this artist featuring lots of their songs about a reserved girl who loves music and her more extroverted friend who asks her for song recs. it's a very izuleo vibes game and just a beautiful game in general I think you'll love it sm mikiii

second of all.... just. this song. play the game and watch the music video for the full impact frfr 🫶 anyway back to izuleo

back around- half alive

depression never truly leaves but you get better!! it gets better!!! there are bad days but there are so so many good days!!! this whole album is kinda izlo vibes

you get me so high- the neighborhood

"you're my best friend I'll love you forever" 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 makes me think of them... kind of talking about their past .... not very well because they have no emotional maturity but still.

silent oath- knights

for obvious reasons

reunion- harumaki gohan

I imagine this is after the end of ! era .. they've both grown and matured immensely as people.. it'd probably have more impact if I read requiem but um..... I'll get to it... (I've been saying this for a year and a half) to me it's a goodbye to their teenage years and the ups and downs and them moving forward into adulthood and a more stable relationship

don't be so hard on your own beauty- yeule

they help eachother heal 🥹. this one is a bitttt more reliant on some of my takes on izumi that I don't really wanna get into rn but yk. it's here. it's vibey. things were bad and now they are better. there's sunlight streaming though their apartment window. they don't have anywhere else to be this morning. yk.

work of art- downer Inc, kellin quinn

ueeeghhvhb they love eachother.... izumi brings leo inspiration.... these descriptions are getting less and less coherent

I swear ill never leave again - keshi

ueeeeueueueuehhhehhehhehuuueueue

infinitely ordinary- the wrecks

I like the romance of mundanity.. I think they could be happy.. it's very hopeful and a good ending to the playlist

[fandomsnstuff]

We're moving so i did So Much today to prep my room for staging or whatever, i didnt even get to writing until like. 9:30 or 10, so it's short and sweet today, posted with just over an hour to spare

@taznovembercelebration

Day 12: coworkers au

Lup's just trying to help Magnus out and make a little extra pocket change. Why does shit always have to go sour?

Read it on AO3

When Magnus first proposed his idea for a winter time side hustle, Lup didn't think it'd really get off the ground. Who was going to pay to have someone put up their outdoor Candlenights decorations for them? Decorating is half the fun of the season. But she agreed to help when she could.

Turns out, a lot of people will pay for it. They had to introduce a service to just put lights along the eavestroughs. People hate doing that shit, but she and Magnus run like a well oiled machine. Neither of them necessarily need the money, but it's a nice little bonus to end the ear. Plus it gets them outside during the few hours of sunlight. Take that, seasonal depression.

Lup's up on a ladder, adjusting some of the attachments along one part of the house. Magnus is somewhere nearby, fiddling with another string, trying to untie the knot it tied itself into over the past ten months in storage. “We wrap these up nicely, don't we?” He says. “Every year, we bundle them up so we don't have to do this, and every year they're impossible!”

Lup attaches a few extra hooks to the house. “Just give it a good shake, they'll sort themselves out.” She hears the jingling of little lightbulbs clinking against each other, and Magnus exclaims happily. “Told you.” She snaps the string she's working on into the new hooks. “Alright, Mags. Give that a tug.”

Magnus plus his untangled string into the end of hers, and pulls gently on the join. The droops in the string pull taut, and the lights hang perfectly straight down. Lup nods, satisfied.

She's taken two steps down the ladder when her foot slips. She tries to throw her hands out behind her, but she lands hard against the frozen ground. “Holy shit!” Mangus runs over and drops to his knees by her side. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she says unconvincingly, “just waiting for the sky to stop spinning.”

Magnus inhales sharply. “Alright, uh, I'm gonna call 911.”

“You don't have to do that.”

“No, I super do. Because, one, you just fell off a ladder onto dirt that's been frozen solid, without any snow to break your fall, and two,” he pauses, and she can see him cringe, “I, uh, don't think your elbow's supposed to bend like that.”

She cranes her neck up to look, and she really wishes she hadn't. Her arm is laying in a way it really shouldn't be. She drops her head back against the ground. “Why doesn't it hurt?”

“Shock, probably? Just- don't move.”

“Roger.”

By the time the ambulance shows up, it hurts. The paramedics do whatever tests they have to. She wiggles her fingers and toes, she knows her name, where she is, the date, the president, all that good stuff. They stabilise her arm and load her up. Magnus stays behind so he can drive his truck and meet her at the hospital.

Once there, they do some x-rays and it turns out she fucked up her arm real bad. No concussion, thankfully. They set the bone, which hurts like a bitch, but she gets a pink cast out of it.

“I always wanted to break a bone when I was younger,” Magnus says as the nurse wraps Lup's arm in the hot pink material.

The nurse laughs. “That's pretty common.”

“I dreamed of having a red cast. Like, firetruck red. And everybody at school would see my cool red cast and sign it.”

“I'm living my dreams, babe,” Lup says. “Hot pink cast for the win.”

“Hell yeah.” He high fives her good hand.

She looks back at the nurse, “how long do I have to wear this anyway?”

“With the complexity of the break, it could be six to eight weeks."

“Eight weeks?!”

“Maybe more, if an x-ray shows that it's shifted or not healing properly.”

“It didn't feel like kids had casts on for that long in elementary school,” Magnus says.

“Simpler breaks don't need as long.”

“Damn.” She looks at Magnus, “I don't think I'll be going up any ladders any time soon.”

“Yeah, god, please don't.”

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: "Big Time Audition" PART 1

Well, here we go! I'm super excited to be revisiting this show after so many years. I was so deep in the fandom back when the show was on, but it feels like going into it with a blank slate at this point. I have no idea what the fandom is like anymore and also forgot so many of the episodes. Ugh, I wish I could remember what my BTR blog from like 2011 used to be called (and if it even still exists; I might have deleted it). It'd be so cool to take a look at it.

I'm gonna try to just jump right in here. A few things first: I'll be pausing the episodes perodically as I watch in order to write up my posts on here, so it'll be a very "real-time" depiction of my experience, lol. Posts will also always be put under a "read more" on account of length.

Y'all the smile on my face at just the beginning few seconds of the episode. It brings me right back to 2009, watching the premiere with my sister. And I love how there's really no time wasted in making it loud and clear what each of the boys' roles are in the group and what their personalities are like.

Kendall's first line is literally a little motivational pep talk. He's trying to motivate them to do something that's going to get them into trouble, but still...it's in character. (btw, I will absolutely be focusing in on Kendall's character development—and my criticisms of it—as I move through the series)

Anyway, continuing on down the line: Logan counters Kendall's words with math, thus promptly labeling him as The Nerd of the group. Carlos jumps at the chance to cause some chaos (very Carlos. he was my favorite, btw) and James is just not paying attention to any of it. He's just standing there preening.

James is another one who changes a good deal from this first episode, I think. I mean, if I'm remembering correctly, he stays sort of self-absorbed and concerned with his looks, but not quite to THIS degree.

Also, the guys all work well together and fit, but I can't help but wonder how this group came together. It's such an oddball mixture of extreme personalities that you'd be hard-pressed to find in real life. In fact, if it were real life, they probably wouldn't be able to tolerate each other at all, let alone be friends. But that's the beauty of the show.

They do all eventually help Carlos turn the sprinklers on.

Troublemakers. Oh! And I spy plaid on Kendall. He wears plaid in like every episode, doesn't he? I remember that being a thing.

Logan's hair looks very dark. Was it dyed for this episode? I don't remember it being that dark.

I'm only ONE MINUTE into this episode. Yikes; these are going to be long posts, aren't they?

Yes, Carlos gives James the helmet right before they get pummeled by the mob of angry girls! Kendall knows James has to protect his face! Just a little over a minute in, and we have a leader of the group firmly established.

GUSTAVO AND KELLY!!!

I love him.

Meanwhile, the guys are nursing their injuries back at Kendall's house. It's so funny to me the way that Kendall seems to have the rest of them (mainly Carlos?) "trained" in a way? He tells Carlos to give James the helmet, and Carlos does do without hesitation. Then, when James starts dancing on the couch, all he has to do is say Carlos's name, and Carlos tackles James to the floor.

But when you've got a group of buddies like that, someone has to step up and take the reins, and that someone is Kendall Knight.

Look at these goofballs smiling as Carlos and James beat each other up.

The FLIP PHONES

Amazing. This show already kind of feels like a fun little time capsule.

I'd be remiss to not talk about this specific moment (when James and Carlos are throwing hands again) that I recall the fandom latching onto back in the day. As things start spiraling and glass starts flying, Logan simply calls Kendall's name, and Kendall immediately runs to Logan's side.

This is the point in which I probably start overanalyzing, but. Well, that's half the fun of this project, isn't it?

It speaks volumes about who Kendall is, what his role is in the group, and how the other three (especially Logan) look at him. Things are getting out of hand, and Logan is overwhelmed. So what does he do? Simply call for Kendall to take control and fix it. Because that's who Kendall is, right? He's Mr. Hold Everyone Together, Fix Everything All the Time, Carry the World on His Shoulders Guy.

I'll be delving more in that in future posts, I'm sure. Many thoughts.

Also, can we talk about how James and Carlos are just. Destroying Mrs. Knight's home?? Throwing things and about to hit each other with a lamp and a...whisk?? Is that what Carlos has? As a kid, I was like, "ahahaha, funny," but now I'm like, "I hope Mama Knight made those boys pay for every item they ever broke while in her house."

I was originally going to break this up into just 2 parts, but it's already pretty long, and I don't even know if anyone will read it, so I'm going to wrap it up right here for now. I'm sure once I get into the actual series, the posts will be shorter, but there's a lot of ground being laid in this episode, and I'm also still finding my footing on this blog.

Thanks to anyone who checks this out!

[chlorinewriter]

Good and bad news on the Mishanks Holy Heathens fic for priest Mihawk & heathen Shanks. The good news is that I've more than tripled my wordcount from last time I posted about it and things are still going pretty strong. It's been fun!

The bad news is that I realized I can't have my cake and eat it, too. Not with this fic. I wanted a one-shot that was sexy and tense and still emotionally gut-wrenching but also put Mihawk and Shanks in a different beginning relationship than the original show/manga/etc and the format was just not working for that. Turns out jamming three in-depth flashbacks into a fight scene is sorta disruptive, lol. So! A short chaptered fic it shall be. I'm thinking 4 or 5 chapters. I have waaaay more of the back end written than the front, so it'll be a bit before I have the first chapter out. That said, another snippet before I post the first chapter sometime in the next week. You could say the Mihawk and Shanks first meeting does not quite go spectacularly:

Shanks accepts the roll of paper from Mihawk’s hand, eyebrow jumping and other hand remaining on his sword’s hilt. “What’s this?” he asks, already slipping the meticulously tied ribbon from the paper and unfurling it.

“An official writ,” Mihawk replies, and though he is standing easily, Yoru still on his back, the Redeemer is watchful. His faith is imbued through his body, hardening skin and muscles, and the limited foresight it grants him hovers at the edges of his awareness. There are too many possibilities right now for any one to stick out. That doesn't really matter. There will only be two that come to fruition.

At some point in time this heathen is going to start running, or he's going to fight. They always do. He’s almost surprised the man hadn’t taken off when he’d seen the distinctive black and red robes Mihawk is wearing.

Probably a fight, then.

Lips moving soundlessly as he scans the paper, nonetheless Shanks appears to have no other trouble reading the writ and Mihawk is mildly surprised. Many of the godless he’s been sent after couldn’t even read their own condemnations. With the long scars over his one eye, a salt and sweat stained white shirt, and a weathered blue cloak far from immaculate, Shanks looks like he should be part of that group of grimy illiterates, but... He carries himself differently.

Occasionally the infidel pauses, and slowly his eyebrows drop into a furrow. After a few moments, Shanks looks up. And there is no dread in his face when he says, “I’m being denounced by the Holy First?”

“It is a Writ of Denouncement, yes.” Though the information is on the paper, there’s something searching in the other man’s gaze that makes Mihawk restless, and he adds, “You are called to the Holy See for judgement.”

“And you’re gonna accompany me there?” Shanks smiles, and from someone else it would have been mirthless. Not so with him. The grin actually seems amused, even warm. Mihawk inclines his head stiffly, his instincts warring with the discomfiting charisma of the other man as Shanks continues. “And I’ll – what? Be given a fair and just trial in the eyes of your Lord?”

“Your guilt is decided,” Mihawk retorts sharply, and it is not as easy to deliver the script as it usually is in the face of that grin. “Our Lord,” extra emphasis on our, as if Mihawk has anything to prove, “knows your wicked heart. What remains is your punishment.”

“Ah. Right. My wicked heart.” Shanks checks the paper, looks back up. “So what is the punishment, for, ah...” He reads off the list, ironic in his studiousness. “Consorting with demons, misleading the populace, decrying the Church, accosting Church officials, challenging Church doctrine, encouraging heretical tenets, displaying heretical uses of faith, waylaying shipments meant for Church officials, throwing spoiled produce at–”

“It is not for me to decide,” Mihawk interrupts. He forgot how long the list was. It also had not occurred to him when he read it in the Holy See that there were no murders or similarly violent offenses on the list. Though he seems to remember the priest who had been splattered with the fruit claiming it had been done with the enthusiasm of a most pernicious assault. That had caused quite a stir in the cathedral, a few years ago.

He doesn’t think he’s been called to track down – and execute upon resistance – a heretic such as this before. Not that it matters. It doesn’t. Such are the orders of the Lord.

Mihawk banishes the thoughts creeping unformed in the corners of his mind, reaches back to grip Yoru with deliberate and blatant threat.  

“I will see you before the Holy First. One way or another.”

Shanks’ hand tightens around the writ, crumpling the paper, and though there is still no fear in his direct gaze, he takes a few steps back. Mihawk's faith-imbued eyes can see something bright beginning to coalesce in the pirate's chest, and with a jarring mix of butcher-knife interest and muted disappointment Mihawk realizes this is going exactly where he knew it would.

Somehow, for just a moment, he'd thought...

“I don’t want to fight you, Redeemer Mihawk,” Shanks says quietly.

Yoru makes a shivery, beautiful peal as he pulls it from its sheathe, and the familiar sound loosens the tightness in Mihawk's chest. “Wise,” he replies, arching the sword one–handed over his head in a movement as natural as it is graceful. “Fighting any Redeemer is ill-advised.”

The blade ends up pointed unwaveringly at the heathen, but Shanks is not looking at Yoru. He still has that searching expression on his face, demanding and expectant as his eyes catch at Mihawk’s. “Not the Redeemers. I just don’t want to fight you."

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

i watched dom the bombs reading of book 2 and saw people making really negative comments about tillie and the book, it made me feel bad seeing how far people are going to hate on tillie instead of just the book

Yeah, I saw some of his livestream. I don't really watch his content, but I have watched the videos he did about Clementine Book One. I only watched the stream for about two minutes before I had to shut it off because it was that unpleasant, and I'm not referring to the content of the book. Then when I heard through discord that he'd gotten to chapter 9, I turned it back on and watched his reaction and the rant that followed and like... I have a lot of feelings but to put it simply, I'm kinda pissed so apologies for this long post.

Here's the deal: I don't know Dom, and maybe his reactions were exaggerated for his chat, or maybe he really does feel that aggressively passionate about twdg and what these comics have done, I don't know. I jumped into the stream the first time when he was at the part where Clementine's being introduced to new cast at the party, and it's when he was reading and said, "'John is Morro's son' I don't care" that I clicked off. Why should I keep watching when you're not going to put in any effort into the story outside of just hating on it? That's the whole vibe I got and it put me right off.

He can hate them as much as he wants [and he did say that if this wasn't about Clementine, it wouldn't be that bad], that's not my issue. My biggest issue comes when he brings Tillie into it because he always does.

I think his stream had a little bit of a ripple effect that's lead to Tillie's social media. Looking through her most recent post on insta, there are a bunch of new comments with people parroting some stuff he said in his stream... as if she needed more shit. She's been getting these comments for days now.

For those unaware, Tillie Walden just had a baby on October 4th, the same day Clementine Book Two came out, and these are pieces throughout the comments section of that post sharing the news:

I'm trying so hard to put this into words because, on one hand, I get that Dom is just one person and it's not like he can force his audience to do anything. Plus, the hate was happening before his stream so it's not like it's his fault anything... but just because he throws in a "I don't condone harassment of Tillie guys" disclaimer around, that doesn't mean he isn't contributing to the problem.

You can't go on a rant about how Ricca is Tillie's self-insert and no one can change your mind about that, and then be like "but guys don't harass Tillie, she doesn't deserve it." THAT is what people are sending her threats over! You're just validating that self-insert idea! You are contributing to the problem!

Personally, I don't think he's saying "don't send anyone harassment" because he actually gives a shit about Tillie Walden or anyone involved in the project, he's saying it to cover his own ass so no one can point any fingers at him. I'd like to be proven wrong on that. I'd love for him to be more serious about it and say more than just "I don't condone harassment" before going on to say he's gonna bring the hammer down for his review.

And y'know what? You're right. I can't change your mind about Ricca being a self-insert because you don't want to change your mind.

Both of them having glasses isn't evidence, and "they look exactly the same!" doesn't work when Tillie's art style has same-face syndrome. Slap some glasses on Olivia and oop, Olivia must be a self-insert, too!

Like... do people still not get how stories are made? Writers tend to write what they know, they draw from their life experiences and that influences their characters, settings, and plots. You know what probably happened? Tillie wears glasses, and she probably thought about how much it would suck to wear glasses in the apocalypse, and gave that idea to one of her characters.

But does it even matter? You've already decided it's not up for debate. You're not open to discussion on it. You're set on spreading "Ricca is a self-insert" to your audience, that ripples through the fandom, and a shit ton of people are weaponizing it. "Ricca is a self-insert" is why they're going after her on a post about her newborn baby.

I know how that this works. It's happened to me where I've said something only to see some of my followers weaponizing it against other people. Shit, when I was on the subreddit the other day, I saw someone misquoting me from my first read through of Book Two post: I never said I would lose my shit if they named Olivia's baby Amos Junior, AJ 2.0. I was making a fucking joke. And do you know how many times I've come across "AJ 2.0" since? An alarming amount!

When you have a platform with any amount of followers, shit you say is going to spread and it might be used poorly. There isn't much you can do about it except think about the future shit you say and how you say it. You're never going stop everyone from being shitty; some people are just insistent on being assholes, but you can always try to reach through to more people.

There is a conversation to be had about the contents of chapter 9, and how this story is leaning toward a more romantic focus over a gritty zombie drama. There's a lot to say about Ricca as a character. There are legit criticisms of these books, and criticisms to be had of Skybound for continuing the series after the games ended... but I don't think many people are interested in actually having those conversations. I think they just want to be mad. I think they want to put all the blame on one person, and since it's Tillie's name on the books, they want to hate her.

And I don't even dislike Dom or anything. He seems like a nice guy who's passionate about the games and is disappointed the comics didn't do them justice. From the parts I watched he had good points about how Skybound were the ones who hired Tillie knowing her previous work. I see where he's coming from with his dislike of the romance angle, too.

But it's the reactionary anger that feeds and grows, which again, I don't blame him for having strong feelings or reacting. I used to stream on twitch and you do get carried away; you exaggerate, you get pissed off and so does chat and suddenly everything is heated and you're bouncing that off each other. So I get it.

I guess I just dread his actual review because I know what's going to happen. And now I'm also a little worried about my review.

I'm just upset that this is what the twdg fandom's turned into. I mean, we've always had toxicity but I don't remember it ever being this bad. There's nothing I can do about it except hope people calm down.

...I can't believe this is where my character arc has led me. I'm the Tillie Walden and, to an extent, the Clementine comics defender... Well, shit.

I don't even like the comics, I think they're bullshit too, and yet-

[pupkinpumpkin]

Seeing your latest Dragon age post I GOTTA ask about your inquisitor now! What are they like??👀👀👀

Oh my god you wanna ask about my Inky? That's so crazy, gosh I don't know if I-

(pulls out massive essay and powerpoint)

Aight so, first things first, even after playing DAI multiple times, I still don't have a conclusive name for her. I used my name the first time bc it was my first Dragon Age game, and it kinda stuck but also it's weird reading my name on things, so I'm just thinking of re-arranging my name or adding some letters, so we're just gonna call her Lavellan for now.

Also we're just gonna stick to small facts here because I tried making a full explanation on this but it got way too long way too quick

- Lavellan's dad was a city elf who converted and joined her mom's clan, eventually having kids w her (this is an excuse as to why Lav's name may not sound like it's Elven enough, blame it on her city elf dad)

- Lavellan does not and never had believed in the Elven gods or The Maker. The idea of gods just does not make sense to her, it's not logical to her, so therefore it doesn't exist. This has always made her feel guilty and like something was wrong with her

- Lavellan hides this lack of belief by learning a lot about the different myths and stories involving the Dalish gods, eventually becoming quite a good storyteller

- her parents are like hyper religious

- She really really loved making inventions and stuff, and would've absolutely been an artificer in another life if it wasn't for her being a mage, and therefore destined to be The First and then The Keeper

- she found out she was a mage at 8, and, being the only mage in the clan besides the keeper, a lot of pressure was put on her to live up to everyone's expectations at a very young age

- So, being a mage and having her hopes of inventing crushed at a young age in favor of protecting the clan and being it's advisor when she doesn't even believe in the Elven gods constantly makes her stressed

- She is bi and had a secret relationship w the apprentice, and then official Hallakeeper, Lindiranae as they grew up. Her clan is very homophobic, which is why this is secret

- Her clan is also very open to trading w humans and are very good friends w a merchant who used to be a slave in Tevinter named Corran. Corran is basically Lav's second dad and was one of the only people to just let her be a kid when she was growing up

- Lavellan can sketch and draw very well in a realistic style. This first stemmed from drawing contraptions and gadgets, but then became drawing her clanmates

- When she was around 19-20, a bunch of rogue Templars, being massive dicks, were being very racist and threatening to put her in the Circle, so eventually things got out of hand, they tried to attack Lav, Lindiranae protected her, but a rogue templar lit some hay on fire to spook the Halla, and pushed Lindiranae into the fire, killing her, and killing some other clan members in the process

- This gave Lav massive pyrophobia and even the smell of burnt hair will possibly make her throw up. For some reason she's fine with magic fire, but regular fire freaks her out. She works on that through Inquisition. It never goes away, but she deals with it a lot better

- After Lindiranae dies, Lav slowly starts forgetting her face, which freaks her out, so she starts drawing her and the others who died constantly

- This essentially develops into a system where Lav, the more she likes a person, the more she sketches them, but never finishes the sketches. She does this in case they die so she can make one final finished sketch and never forget their face like she forgot Lindiranae's

- Lav has a journal Corran gave her and in the very first few pages of the journal are finished drawings of all the people she's lost. Once she fills up her journal, she takes out the old pages and replaces them with new ones, but never replaces the ones with the faces of all her dead loved ones on it.

- Corran has a mabari named Brute who only understands Tevene

- Lav learns some Tevene as she grows so she can better play with Brute and talk with Corran

- Lav's older sister also never believed in the Elven gods, running away at 14 and not being seen again for many years.

- When she comes back, Lav finds out she became Andrastian, married a city elf, and is generally living a happy life

- Lav's parents basically disowned her sister after she ran away, so whenever the clan visits the town Lav's sister now lives at, Lav and her older brother sneak out to visit their sister and her husband

- Lavellan constantly puts other people before herself because she knows as a Keeper, she will have to one day lead her clan and take care of them, but this leads to her not communicating well and always pretending to be fine so she doesn't have to burden anyone and will often help others to not deal with her problems

- She's actually underweight because of this (which is how I explain why she's so skinny in the game) and gains more weight after Inquisition because she learns to better take care of herself with a good support system

- her dad died when she was around 13 and her mom became even more religious out of grief which really stressed Lavellan out

- When she just realized she was a mage, Lavellan still tried to keep making inventions and stuff, but ended up slicing her left ear open while working on one, so The Keeper forbade her from making them again. The ear never closed, which is why in my drawing of her, her ear is like that

- Corran taught her to play chess and handmade a chess set for her which got destroyed during the conclave. Luckily her journal made it out tho

- She loves heights and feels most comfortable in the forest because it reminds her of all the times her and Lindiranae would sneak off to be together

- Lav is complete and utter shit at cooking

- Lavellan loves to read and, when reading a book she really likes, often tunes out the world and it can be kinda hard to pull her back into reality. Like a deep sleeper except with books

- She can sew really well

- Lavellan is fantastic at diplomacy and would be great at The Game, but the whole thing stresses her out so much constantly that she would never choose to do it willingly

- Lavellan's ears move in accordance to her emotions, but she got a handle on that when she was young so she could fake being fine, but her ears twitch a lot when annoyed or upset and turn pink when she blushes

Literally all of this is before Inquisition even happens, it's literally all just her backstory and stuff.

Honestly, Imma probably make another one of these about her in the Inquisition because damn do I have a lot of things to talk about with her

I suppose with DAI being my first Dragon Age game, I have the most to talk about with my Lavellan

Anyway, thanks for asking 🩷

[siriuslysatorusimping]

ok this has been plaguing my mind so naturally i’m offloading it so someone else shares this burden. i am DYING to know what megumi thinks of the rinko/gojo situation (granted, if anything). like, he is a child who hears gojo call rink babe and sweetheart all while being touchy and i assume megumi also sees gojo with other hookups or atleast flirting/getting numbers. do you see megumi saying anything to gojo (before he knows it’s casual) since we see him warming to rinko?

Hello, dear, sweet Anon! I LOVE this question!!

Because I'm ME, my answer is below the cut because it's gonna be long and wordy and probably make ZERO sense but I'll try 🙃

Note after I've written the response: THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I'M SORRY AGAIN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Read Another Level on AO3 :)

OKAY, SO.

What does Megumi think of Rinko and Gojo?

The shortest answer is that he thinks they're both idiots but that he really, really just wants his adoptive mom cousin to be happy.

I'm gonna answer the easiest part first.

Does Megumi also see Gojo with other hookups or flirting/getting numbers from other women?

Rarely, if ever, does Megumi witness this. Primarily because Megumi only spends time with Gojo for three main reasons: Training, a job, or to visit the Zenin estate.

Funny enough, Megumi spends more casual time with Rinko than he does with Gojo. Though Gojo will obviously tag along whenever he can because he loves to be a little shit and he wants to be around her whenever he can.

So, Megumi has actually seen Rinko get more numbers than Gojo. Though, people will typically avoid her when she's with him because they assume that Megumi is her kid and most men don't want that smoke 😂 and also because Megumi has already mastered that Zenin scowl and stare, which means he glares at anyone who gets too close to her because our lil bean is protective of his adoptive mom cousin.

(Remember in Double-Edged Words when Rinko noted that she felt the anger of two people behind her? Our lil bean of a boy was about to throw hands with an old man for his adoptive mom cousin, guys.)

Megumi has seen Gojo flirt with a few women, but he can tell Gojo acts differently with Rinko, is softer, more genuine than he is with other people in general. And Megumi also knows that Gojo doesn't even realize he does it.

What does he think when he hears Gojo call Rinko baby and sweetheart?

Gojo was actually pretty careful with what he called her around Megumi for the first few years that Rinko knew Megumi. He mainly called her 'Rinko-chan' around Megumi because he knew Rinko would freak out on him for calling her a pet name so casually in public.

Especially on jobs, Rinko will usually give Gojo a very unpleasant look if he calls her anything too familiar. And he respects that it's one of her boundaries. We'll see this a bit later, when they're at work, both of them as teachers, and he will call her Kurisaki-chan exclusively to respect how uncomfortable it makes her when he calls her anything else.

Megumi knew they slept together, especially after Gojo gave Naobito a small piece of his mind, and after in Winter Lullaby when they woke up and Gojo was literally in Rinko's bedroom, there's no beating around the bush with that one.

But for the most part, Gojo tried not to be overly affectionate with her in front of Megumi to respect her boundaries.

Because Maki is living with Rinko now, she's going to end up seeing more of their relationship than Megumi early on because she's going to be around Rinko all the time for a little while. But, in addition, because Maki is living with her, she's going to be bringing Megumi around so that Maki isn't lonely and they will train together often before they start school, meaning Gojo will be there too.

Innate Issues - Part 3 is where we're beginning to see the shift, though, where Gojo is freer with how he talks to her, and it's mainly because of how uneasy the job made both of them. When he first called her 'baby' during that job, it was out of instinct because he was trying to get her out of harm's way. He didn't want the Special Grade to clock her energy and come looking for the source, so he called her baby before he could think otherwise. He was a bit freer with how he called her baby and touched her after it was over because he'd been worried about her 🥺

BUT, remember, Megumi is perceptive and it has been said so many times that he just doesn't seem his age. So he knows what's going on lol. Because you've also got to remember that Toji was his dad. And he straight up, according to Gojo, said that he believed his dad sold him to the clan for gambling money. Kid's been through shit, ya know?

Does he ever say anything to Gojo about Rinko?

Short answer is yes, he does. But it's much later, actually. Because again, he's seen Gojo and Rinko in separate environments and just how different they are with each other.

At some point, he's going to look Gojo in the eye and just ask him what the hell he's doing with Rinko and why he hasn't married her yet.

The relationship and how he sees them together is one of the reasons he's so openly antagonistic toward Gojo when she's around, too. How he teases Gojo and calls him a child. When he and the girls called Gojo annoying and then he met Rinko's eyes through the rearview mirror, because of how he views her, she's one of the few people who get those smiles and smirks where she knows he's enjoying himself and having fun.

BUT, there will also be a part, in a later installment, where he's going to be worried about her, I'll give you a lil taste:

Her face fell for a moment before she could steel her expression, the hurt showing long enough she knew his keen eyes caught it. “No,” she admitted, watching his eyes narrow at her. “I found out today. When you did.” “Why didn’t he tell you-?” “Beats me, kid,” she said, shrugging as she smiled at him. “He’s got his reasons. Doesn’t have to tell me everything.” “But he usually does,” Megumi argued, and that ache in her chest started growing again at the look of concern on his face now. “Rinko-san-” “You’re too young to be that concerned about me,” she teased, ruffling his hair and chuckling when he swatted her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he had his reasons for not telling either of us, yeah?”

Rinko knows he's perceptive, so she tries to hide if things aren't going well and it only makes him narrow in quicker. But note when he says "he usually does" when it comes to telling her things. Wherever this is in our timeline, Megumi knows the two don't have secrets, and him realizing that they suddenly do makes him worried for her.

Megumi's relationship with Rinko really will become a bit of a reluctant parent/kid without either of them realizing it, because she's essentially lying so Megumi doesn't view Gojo any worse even though what it actually does is make him more upset because he knows she's doing it. BUT, there will also be very sweet moments, which I'll share a lil bit of:

“Megumi-” “Rinko-san,” he greeted, easily catching the ginger candy she tossed him. “You don’t need to keep bribing me, you know-” “Who said it’s still a bribe?” she asked, watching him smile at her. “Unless you’re telling me you don’t want it? I’ll eat yours too-” His only reply was opening the wrapper and chewing the candy before she could finish her statement.

And, because I have zero self-control, I'll give one last lil peek:

“I couldn’t even help,” he muttered, his jaw clenching. “I was useless-” “Don’t,” she said, pinching his ear harshly. “That doesn’t help you.” “Ow!” he smacked her hand away. “You’re as bad as he is sometimes.” “Only when you need it,” she mused, a small smile on her face as she watched him rub his ear.

OKAY, so there's my hella long rant I hope it makes sense!! 🥹

Thank you again for your question!!!! 💕💕

[jhilsara]

Please keep posting more!! I'm loving it so far <3

Can I ask why Erik doesn't use Princess as MCs petname anymore?

Hello! I'm back with another part! 4?

But I don't have Erik use Princess strictly just because I personally don't like it and it kinda nauseates me to write it. I'm not gonna yuck your yum, but it just isn't for me, I can do any other pet name but Princess just gives me the ick for some reason.

~Beach Episode~

It’s finally summer and summer means vacation.

Two weeks into June and MC is itching to do something. LIZARD TIME

She’s been lounging in the sun in the backyard reading and Erik is tanning next to her.

Matthews in the grass holding a portable fan on his face and Damien’s sitting in a chair with a big sunhat listening to the audiobook of the same book as MC for their little summer book club

James was inside making a light lunch and Sam was just coming home from working out.

“Oh, I see we’re all outside today and no one invited me?” Sam “You were working out. MC mentioned sun bathing and that was all I needed.” Erik “Except its hot as balls out here!” Matthew whines. “I wish we had a pool!” “The beach could be nice.” Damien “Oh my god I haven’t been to the beach in ages!” MC jolts up in excitement. Sam laughs and ruffles her hair. “Calm down no one said we’re going.” MC pouts. “Who said we’re going somewhere?” James “Damien suggested we go to the beach.” Erik “…why not? We could go next week.” James “Seriously?” Sam James shrugs, “I don’t really want to sit in a week-long meeting with her dad glaring holes into my head. Pushing back the meeting will also just piss him off so this is a win for me.” “So…. The beach?” MC “Why not? I’ll get the flight scheduled for us. We can leave Sunday.” James “Finally, a vacation!” Erik

They get on a short flight to end up in Savannah GA and Tybee Island.

They get a connecting room with 4 beds in total. MC sleeps in her own and Sam too…mostly cause he’s a bed hog and will kill anyone but Damien.

It takes the group very little time to throw their things down in the hotel before running to the beach.

James goes to spend his first day looking for sharks teeth.

Erik is sunbathing and listening to his own music.

Matthew and Sam are swimming together and probably trying to drown each other.

Damien is sitting next to Erik listening to an audio book and drawing in the sand.

MC starts by sunbathing with Erik and Damien

She’s laying on her stomach, sunglasses on, and stretching over her towel. “It’s so nice out today!” MC “Perfect weather for a vacation. I’m already looking at restaurants with patios for this evening.” “Damien can you hand me a seltzer?” The cooler hidden under the umbrella is filled with alcohol. Damien grabs one to hand to her. “Make sure you eat with those. The sun’s hot today you’ll get dehydrated.” Damien mentions. “I’ll be fine I brought sandwiches in there too!” MC

After baking in the sun and 3 seltzers and 2 mini sandwiches she’s dozing off on her towel.

Until water starts dripping on her face.

She looks up and sees Sam hovering over her, dripping the ocean all over her.

He’s smiling at her and shakes his soaking wet hair like a dog, all of it landing on her. “Ew! Sam gross! I was almost asleep!” She sits up and swats at his legs. He just laughs and sits next her, making her scoot over on her towel to make room. “Did you not bring your own towel out here?” MC He’s pressing his wet body against her and reaching past her to grab a seltzer and a sandwich. Her face is tomato red. “Yea but you’re already here and sharing is caring or whatever.” Sam “Well you’ve now soaked my towel.” She says irritated trying to hide her blush. Sam inhales his sandwich, “Perfect, so you can get in the water now.” He gives her a toothy grin. She rolls her eyes playfully but agrees. “Only if you help me reapply sunscreen to my back I can’t reach.” She reaches back to grab her bottle and Sam’s face blushes. “Uh yeah. Totally. Can do that, yup.” Sam She reapplies her sunscreen and waits for Sam to finish his drink. She sits still and waits for Sam’s hands on her back. Sam gently massages the sunscreen on her back and actively is avoiding the intense stare he is getting from Erik. Erik and Damien are just like… mmhmm definitely no sexual tension with these two idiots

Matthew, Sam, and MC are in the ocean and actively attacking each other with salt water.

Matthew’s trying to jump Sam to throw him in the water, but Sam just tosses his over.

Sam captures MC by the waist and pulls her further into the water with him.

“Sam! I don’t wanna go that deep!” She tries to wiggle out but he keeps her locked in. “It’s fine I won’t let you go promise! Just want some distance from Matthew he won’t swim this far out.” Sam “Fine but let me at least hold on to your neck, I feel unstable.” MC Sam easily adjusts her, she’s facing him now, arms locked firmly around his neck and he’s holding onto her waist with one and under the crook of her knee in another. “Is this, uh better.” The playful nature has left and they both are flushing. “Yeah… uh” she swallows hard, “This is better.” They have stopped moving out deeper and Sam keeps them afloat as they drift with the waves. “You guys are too far out and Erik’s stressing out! Get back over here!” Matthew is yelling at them but also getting hit by the wake. Sam groans and throws his head back in irritation, “We’re coming!” he shouts back. “Jesus, can’t get a second of peace around here…” he mutters. She’s chuckling and shoves her face in his neck. “Not really no.”  Back on the beach Erik lectures her and Sam but they’re barely listening. They are laid out on their towels catching their breath. James finally comes back to the group with a container containing a few sharks teeth. He looks like he’s happy so probably a success. “Back to the hotel to clean up then dinner?” James suggests to them. “Yes please!”

Between 6 people and 2 bathrooms they all take turns to get ready. But it is a race to see who gets to shower first.

The restaurant they pick is chill, fresh seafood, and an amazing patio. She is sitting in the sun and her sundress gently floats in the wind.

Everyone talks about their great day and what the plans are for tomorrow. 

They’re only staying for 3 days but they are ready to fill it with activities.

Mc, Erik, and Damien plan to go to some of the strip outlets and shop most of the morning/early afternoon the next day.

Then her afternoon MC is making everyone play a family game of cheesy beach mini golf.

To say they were competitive was an understatement. They were FOUL

James is actively keeping score, but also actively trying to knock others balls away from the hole. Erik is the only one playing fair and just trying to get this over with. Sam will hit the ball way too hard and has broken two different objects on the holes. He also is constantly accusing James or Matthew of cheating. Matthew is either trying to ruin Sam’s game or he’s just obnoxiously good at getting a hole in one. Damien is also way too invested and definitely ruining everyone’s game by blurting out whatever strategy they think of.

MC is just trying to win by pinning them against each other, but also actively going before Sam and bending over just enough to peak her ass out of her skirt. Damien at least doesn’t blurt out her plan there. But every time he is actively giving her a look of disappointment.

She feels a least a little shame when he does make eye contact with her.

The last day on the beach they all go back to the ocean to basically rinse and repeat their events of the day prior.

MC does start her day planning on getting day drunk though.

By mid afternoon Sam comes back from the water and he does sit on his own towel this time. He sits next her and leans back on his hands soaking up the sun.

MC is 5 drinks in and feeling t i p s y

It’s only her and Sam by the group’s belongings. Matthew and Erik and trying to teach Damien how to swim and James is halfway across the beach hunting for sharks’ teeth.

She readjusts after Sam sits down. She flips over onto her stomach and uses her arms as a pillow and lays on Sam’s legs.

“Comfortable?” Sam jokes MC just mumbles in agreement getting herself comfortable. “Hey doofus, I’m talking to you.” Sam She smacks his leg lightly. “I hear you. I’m just resting my eyes.” Sam pushes her hair out of her face and looks at their trash bag seeing the cans. He laughs and looks down at her, “Are you drunk?” he asks her. “Nooooo, I’m just a little tipsy Sam. I’m fine, I just need a nap.” She keeps her eyes closed as she snuggles closer to him. Sam raises a brow and pats her head. He looks up and sees Erik coming back to them. “Yea well you’re gonna take a nap inside.” Sam “But you’re so comfortable!” She whines. “Yea but you’ll be comfier inside, on a bed.” Sam chuckles standing up and easily helps MC up to carry her back to the hotel. He puts her on his back and she easily wraps her arms around his neck. He hoists her up and hooks his arms under her legs “Only if you nap with me like last time.” She mumbles. Sam rolls his eyes, “I’ll shower first and if you’re still awake I’ll lay with you alright?” “No. You’re just gonna trick me into passing out in the bed without you.” She pouts. “Caught me red handed.” Sam smirks “Please Aomaris.” She whispers into his back. A chill runs down his back and his grip tightens a little. “Yea.” He swallows hard his mouth dry, “I’ll lay with you for a bit.” “Yay!” She nestles more into his neck making his heart race. “Yea, yea, you win.” He mumbles red in the face. Sam drops her onto the bed and she bounces softly and giggles to herself. He rolls his eyes but is smiling at her joy. He turns and sees her smiling broadly up at him. It’s like the sun with how bright she is. She makes grippy hands at him. He laughs, “What are you, 5?”  She pouts but continues, “Just get in the bed already I’m tired.” He listens and nudges her over as he gets in.  “You’re so pushy!” She doesn’t respond and just throws her arms over him, wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer to her. Se rests her head in the crook if his neck. Sam goes rigid and doesn’t move at all. They’re still in their swimsuits and her breasts are wrapped in a bikini pushing against his chest. She peeps one eye open to look at him, his brain clearly trying to catch up. She sighs. “Sam you can hold me you know?” He chokes for a second before responding, “Uh yeah, just uh, didn’t want you to think I was being handsy cause you’re drunk.” She moves herself back to look him in the eye, “I’m not drunk, and any buzz I had you just ruined. Sam, I’m asking you to lay in the bed with me and hold me. Okay?” Sam almost chokes on his own spit. He’s blushing. “Yea, uh yea. Got it.” He hesitantly wraps his arms around her waist. She settles back down and gets comfortable. Her eyes shoot open before she can actually try to nap, her heart beating a mile a minute. “Unless you don’t want to and I’m totally forcing you to do this, oh my god.” She lets go of him and uses her hands to cover her face from embarrassment hiding in his chest. He starts laughing loudly. Sam grabs her and rolls them over so he’s flat on his back and she’s laying directly on top of him. He grabs her hands and moves them down from her face. He’s smiling at her and still laughing, “MC, I’m good. I want to hold you, I’m nervous I wasn’t expecting you to just throw yourself at me.” Her face goes tomato red. He’s still holding her hands so she can’t move them to hide her face in embarrassment. “I did not throw myself at you!” Her voice pitches in response. “I’m teasing you, calm down.” He’s laughing still. “Saaaaaaaaam!” she groans in irritation. “Calm down doofus,” he pulls her hands up to his lips and kisses them. “let’s just take a nap now alright?” Her face is still burning hot but he lets go of her hands and flips them onto their sides and throws the blanket over them. He grabs her waist and pulls her into him. She sighs and readjusts wrapping her arms around his waist and settling herself under his head. “You’re such a dick.” She mumbles into his chest. She feels him chuckle and tighten his grip and kisses the top of her head. “You like it.”

They sleep until everyone else comes back in from the beach and its Matthew that wakes them up. Well more like his very noisy presence wakes them.

When he comes in he throws his stuff down and starts talking loudly, he doesn’t even notice the two sharing a bed, or that they’re very asleep.

When he does notice he gets l o u d e r. Making all of the brother notice.

Sam throws a pillow hitting him square in the head.

They end their vacation having a nice dinner at one of the nicest restaurants.

Sam and MC sit across from each other almost in their own world the whole night.

They go home the next morning and things between MC and Sam and definitely different.

That was the beach mini episode that I added in. Diana comes in the next part but I also reworked a lot of that and slide into the second game pretty quickly. There's more notes so just let me know! This does make me wanna sit down and actually write more. I need to finish parts of the notes/draft though... I'm not positive what I'm doing with the second game completely yet.

[kakusu-shipping]

🔀 and also 🔪 for Overwatch if you have any

I wanted to draw for all the swaps I really did but this one in particular would require me to draw TWO robots and I'm just not... strong enough...

Asks from Here

🔀 Crossover Ship: Pair the wrong s/i with an f/o from a different universe and talk about their dynamic!

I ended up going with my Virtue's Last Reward S/I sense he is, partially, shipped with GTM-CM-G-OLM, a character with 30 minutes of screen time, and my Shipped with Zenyatta S/I, sense they're the OG of the OW S/Is and both shipped with Robots <3 Yay continuity!

My VLR S/I is, in short, a being from a higher plane that's love for K and desire to help him caused them to break through space and time, causing the entire game's events, just to be with him and give him the love he deserves. It's based on the noncanon ending of VLR. (you can read a mini fic about it Here)

To fit into OW lore I imagine he'd be something akin to The Iris, possibly the Iris taken human form, come to Earth. I'm not sure why it's come to Earth, but I imagine it's not very Good at the whole. Being human thing. Zenyatta finds it on his journey post Mondatta's death and take it along with him, assuming it a normal lost human. The dynamic from there would be Traveling Companions learning Humanity together, what it is to be Alive, to love and grow and change and what not. Deep stuff.

My Shambali Overwatch S/I is a human mechanic who ran away from home at a young age hoping to help Omnics and learn from Master Mondatta. He and Zenyatta are Childhood rivals to friends to lovers 10 year slow burn. (long fic series that one, the first of that is Here)

Without spoiling VLR, I imagine this S/I was the creator of GTM-CM-G-OLM and the other GAULEMs, maybe he's around the same age as K and the two use to hang out when he wasn't working. He probably takes way more interest in the GAULEMs than K though, so K remains the loneliest man in the world. Sorry K, this S/I is Robotsexual </3 GTM-CM-G-OLM is a very casual flirt and handsy, and this S/I is very easily flustered by physical affection from Hot Robot, so their dynamic is very sillie to me <3

🔪 F/E: Fictional Enemy, character I would fight with my self-insert

Oh I'm always ready to throw hands with Hanzo Shimada. Always. My S/I is Best Friends with Genji, he's basically my baby brother. When I get my hands on Hanzo he is getting a broken nose, wither that be what Genji would want or not. Hanzo takes and accepts it, it is his repentance.

Peeps in the Discord also know I have a personal Genji related Beef with Angela Zeigler as well. It is also very much On Sight with her and my S/I. I'm not letting her get away after seeing Blackwatch Genji, oooooh no ma'am, that is NOT how you build cybernetic prosthetics. We're gonna have some words

Genji doesn't like either of these beefs I have, he's forgiven Hanzo and is very grateful to Angela for saving his life and would really like me to do as Mondatta taught and let it go, forgive and move on, but I simply cannot. I am full of hate and rage for these two very specific people.

[pricemarshfield]

15 lines tag!

i was tagged by @gwynbleidd !! late because i Forgot so sorry jackie 😭 losing the fight against adhd lately

RULES: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.

i tag anyone who’d like to talk about their ocs, but also @wretcheddthing (🫵 excuse to write venali GO!!!) @atrueneutral (i love your tav and am so curious what lines you think would sum her up, if you wanna share) and @pouralaura (would love to see more from eris, if you like!)

as always, no pressure if you don’t want to, and under the cut to avoid spam :) this is a long post bc i write dialogue more in paragraphs than in lines sorry. chose tav, helena (personal problem bea), aphrodite (all things end bea), and leta for this! if the format is bad I Tried tumblr post editor was fighting me every step of the way

tav khoury (bg3, tempest cleric of talos/college of lore bard) because she’s my darling. tried to use mostly lines from upcoming wips but a fair portion from talk because that whole fic is just yapping (and also smut but like. they don't shut up)

"Trust me." "No, not at all. But perhaps I would be open to negotiating. Though I’m sure that option is closed, now, and I’m rather disinclined to part with my soul. I’m already fighting to keep my mind intact, if you recall." "Perhaps I’m less generous than you." "To your credit, you were a real challenge." "And you are far more committed to the pretty words than I’d have liked." "And with a devil, trust is far less useful than clearly defined terms." "I won’t squander an advantage for vengeance alone." "You misunderstand me. Something like this suits me far better than abject submission." "I won't beg, but I'll otherwise be the perfect damsel for you for the rest of the night. You can have my simpering submission, my perfect, obsequious obedience, knowing you'll have earned none of it." "Any use I could make of the thing would force me into a precarious situation, and I’d rather utilize the reputation of a savior than a tyrant. Also, Lae’zel may kill me if I don’t find a way to get that hammer in her hands, and as I’ve said, I’m not stupid enough to steal from you." "Don't flatter me. It won't work." "If you're going to try to manipulate me, at least do a better job than the fucking Emperor. Honestly, I expect more from you." "My goodness, are you sure? And here I thought making a bet with a devil in his own boudoir was the pinnacle of good behavior. Really, Haarlep, I..." "The limit of what I can bear? I can take anything you throw at me." "Tempestuous, really."

helena hughes (these are all from personal problem and p much all from the early chapters because i am lazyyy and because that fic is 200k. also hi if you cared enough to read under the cut i am actually working on the next chapter it's like 15k rn)

"Oh, what snacks do you want? I'll make sure Lexi doesn't melt into the seat like the Wicked Witch of Applied Anthropology." "I mean, you're not my professor." "Knew you wanted a piece of me." "Maybe a fantasy or two." "Please kiss me back." "No, I know, thinking back it's really dumb and honestly, kind of mean? No, not kind of. It's mean. But it seemed like a good idea? And it was really hot." "She feels...real, you know? Like, completely outside of all this drama with the rankings and The T and Poppy." "—that was mostly to mess with Poppy—" "Were you jealous?" "I get that we have to keep things secret, I get that it's risky, but I want this and you want this, so what's the issue?" "Hey, how about you let me tell you what I want? I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions." "No. Just letting you know that, uh, I win. So sorry, but you were barely even competition." "I'm sure you'd have me doing far more hands-on work." "Are we gonna actually have sex, or are you guys gonna just talk about my underwear all night?" "You're the one who's obsessed with me."

aphrodite hughes (a couple of these lines are tweaked versions of the in-game ones but i didn't include anything i didn't think was changed enough to justify putting in here and calling at least kind of mine. the first one only the zinger at the end but it's SOOO aphrodite i had to include it)

"Who died, your dignity? Or is this some sort of repentance outfit Mommy and Daddy are making you wear for humiliating them at the Year End Gala? Sorry. Not Daddy." "I get that everyone on this campus is thirsty for gossip, but she's not my type, even if I was dumb enough to get involved with a professor. But nope, y'all are just making something out of nothing! If Belvoire loves anything, it's rumors, right?" "Poptart, just 'cause you're obsessed with me doesn't mean I want anything to do with you. Like I told you last year, you're not my type." "As for...what did you call Selene here? A walking, talking Billabong ad? Look at how cute she is. I think you're just jealous." "I didn't mean to, like, pressure you. You're just so fucking pretty, I'm..." "Hey, she's my girlfriend, back off." "But I wasn't seeing her, and I was able to convince her when i explained how limiting my ability to take classes when Belvoire has so few professors related to my major. Only had to mention lawyers once, and voila!" "Everyone else in the class can be boring or dumb as hell, and I know you're neither." "Wow, suuuuuch a good line." "Your stepdad's, you mean, your dad is a preschool teacher. Funny you forgot to mention it! Plus, isn't Piers' studio the one recasting Tinsley in the F is for Friends sequel?" "To be honest, I mostly just thought you were hot and I love how much of a shit-stirrer you are." "Are you being rude? Wait, forget I asked, that's as pointless a question as are you breathing or are your roots still showing." "You know, I was thinking of you the whole time." "You realize that the only shot you have is to embarrass yourself more than you already have, bitch. I can't believe you're getting a new job just to chase after someone who doesn't even want you." "—this isn't a catfight, but I am happy to oblige—"

leta brereton (SHAKING with the effort of not providing context for these ones honestly, since i haven't actually posted much about her yet but i do love her so much)

"Look, I get that we're not in the best place we could be, but if you ever get mad at me for keeping a child from being murdered again, I'll kill you before the tadpole can. Understood?" "I'm not bluffing, I am being dead fucking serious" "I really can't think of a single world in which I say no to that. Or, uh, to anything you ask, wow." "Ugh. Your god's justice seems lacking. Or devil's wrath, whichever." "Wyll, does your contract say anything about if someone who isn't you kills her? Because I would be really fucking happy to." "Would you get off my case? Just 'cause I don't approve of child murder doesn't mean I'll turn down gold." "I keep you around because you're fucking good at what you do, dickhead. And you make me laugh, sometimes. Shouldn't have said that, you're gonna be so fucking annoying about it." "Oh, fuck yes, yeah, I'm down. Shadowheart can heal me if it goes bad. Uh, or Withers if it goes really bad." "Trust you? Trust you?! You're lucky I don't end you right now!" "Shut up, jackass, I don't have to like you to keep you safe. You're one of ours, I'm one of yours. Long as that's true, you've got my axe." "What's the use of a wizard if he can't figure out a spell for me to be able to kiss you? No, stop, Gale, I'm joking—" "Uh. Sorry? Are you hitting on me? Wow. I mean, it's fine, I'm flattered, but, uh...why?" "Don't tell anyone. I'll be fine in a minute. I just want some quiet." "Hey. Are you actually alright with this? I can tell her I chickened out if you're not." "I...fine, but only because you've been way nicer than I'd—oh."

[icaruskeyartist]

Hey I think you were a person I've seen dissect Serano's work pointing out the negative things said about trans mascs. I came across this post and while this quote seems positive toward trans mascs, stuff earlier in the article don't seem great but I'm worried I'm just hanging onto biases from her earlier work. Do you have thoughts?

https://at.tumblr.com/asterosian/704465315608870913/k1dj12qys9u7

Oof okay I have to admit I'm very biased against her, so reading this will be a challenge (also thanks, I think this is the kick I need to get back to reading Whipping Girl, knowing she's got another book out that may pertain to trans masculinity).

I'm gonna pull out some quotes from her article I feel pertinent to touch on, whether in agreement or not. This is gonna be long.

tl;dr She's still minimizing trans masculine issues, throwing AFAB folks under the bus, utilizing POC for her own end when she can, and is a hypocrite within the same page. And nonbinary folk don't exist.

So yeah, the coat of paint is new, but it doesn't really feel like her attitude towards nonbinary and masculine people have changed. And she tries to relabel rad fems as cultural fems. Which... no. Cultural feminism afaik has a totally different connotation now with lib fem than whatever it was in the 80's.

 Some of the insights that I uncover in Sexed Up are pertinent to the aforementioned “perpetually male privileged” claims levied against trans women. In addition, they also shed light onto why bisexual women are analogously dismissed as “perpetually heterosexual privileged” in some of these same settings.

But men aren't also dismissed as heterosexually privileged if they're bi/pan/aro/ace? This is speculative, but I do thing that there are probably a lot more bisexual men out there who don't know because they've been taught to reject their attraction towards men their entire lives... not unlike how women are taught the same but women are also more encouraged to be in touch with their emotions. Men aren't.

This is a nitpick admittedly. Of course she's gonna focus on women, like how I focus on men. But idk, if I was actually writing for a general audience, I'd want to be as even-handed as possible.

 I will also consider how said purity politics underlie recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.

Color me unexcited.

In Sexed Up, I discuss all these various forms of sexualization in depth and detail how they play out with regards to specific marginalized groups (e.g., people of color, people with disabilities, and LGBTQIA+ people, amongst others).

I'm highlighting this mostly because of my experience with Whipping Girl is ringing eerily similar to this article. Mainly in that Serano likes to reference work I don't have access to and just assumes she is right.

I'm thinking specifically on her assertations on Navajo gender identities and saying they are trans feminine actually (or something similar) and her source was like... another college educated white person who just so happened to be a dude. It's why I want to eventually go through my notes and read all her sources and do an annotated version of her book.

I just really don't trust her with identities outside of her own is what I'm saying. Maybe she's changed, but I don't have access to her new book atm, just this article (sorry I might read her other article she linked at the top later but not right now).

As an example, falsely smearing a marginalized individual as a “slut,” or “pervert,” or “faggot,” or “predator,” or “groomer” typically has little to do with finding them attractive and/or wanting to use them sexually, but has everything to do with invoking sexual stigma in order to defame, humiliate, or ostracize them.

I don't disagree with this bit. Though I'd throw off the word little because we can't know what's going on in someone's mind. It can be a complex mixture of it all in a gross, confusing slurry of unexpressed emotion.

This imagined “sexual corruption” is especially acute for minority women: If a billboard ad featured a white, cisgender, thin, able-bodied woman wearing a sexy outfit, many passersby wouldn’t even notice it, but if the model were Black, or transgender, or fat, or disabled, or some combination thereof, it might strike them as “sexually inappropriate.”

A really more straightforward example would've been porn stars. Actresses (esp white actresses) who have fucked black men tend to have lower prices attached to their work afterwards. I wish I remembered where I read that so I could link to it, but it's been awhile. And for me I think it makes sense logically. She's "corrupted" herself with another race or w/e. Stupid blatant racism but a very obvious example.

Even more obvious: the amount of women who get devalued for having an only fans and how their SO's are treated.

And if a person intentionally hurts or humiliates another person, we often call them a “dick.”

What does this have to do with penises being imbued with metaphysical powers in society?

While penises, and those who are attached to them, are not stigmatized themselves, they do seem to possess the ability to impart sexual stigma upon others. [Sexed Up, p. 164]

Once again, Serano cuts her own nose to spite her face. She tries to be even-handed while focusing on women, but as soon as she quotes her own work (hence the italics) we can see her laying down the blanket statement again.

Men are stigmatized for having sex. It's just not in the same way women are. And it's different depending on the specific sub-culture you're in. Sub-culture specifically because Serano, despite her claims otherwise, I will not believe is capable of looking past the US. That's my bias.

While a significant number of women commit acts of sexual violence, people tend to view these incidents as less serious and less harmful than similar acts committed by men — this is likely due to the imagined “lack of penis” required to initiate sex and to bestow sexual stigma upon the victim.

Oh good, I was worried she wouldn't talk about women committing acts of sexual violence.

For starters, gender and sexual minorities are often viewed as “sexually deviant” or “sexually deceptive” for our failure to comply with Predator/Prey’s roles and rules. As a result, people may view us as “marked by sex” — imbued with sexual stigma that others may fear they might “catch” from us, potentially being “turned queer” themselves in the process. 

I don't disagree again. It's a bit thing, and I think part of that fear in some people is actually repressed sexual or romantic or gender specific identities. It's scary to be confronted with something you thought was a fact but might not be... and for a lot of those people, if they soul searched they'd find themselves happy with their identity as it is.

Anyway a good recent example of what Serano is talking about here is ROGD --- rapid onset gender dysphoria. The thing that people claim is turning all the girls trans.

It also explains why so-called “lesbian porn” made by and for straight men is not considered threatening. This genre typically portrays two women kissing and fondling one another, but the “real sex” doesn’t start until the male protagonist shows up (with his penis) to pronounce “can I join you ladies?”

What the fuck porn are you watching Serano? When I look up lesbian porn, the only dicks involved are strap ons. And this isn't like. Specialty stuff. It's fucking free on pornhub and xnxx.

I realize I'm outing where I watch porn here but whatever. One day I can afford to pay decently.

Okay then there's some talk about how for bi men they're seen as gay and bi women as straight (nb/agender people not invited), some gold star lesbianism and how penises are seen as corrupting. Glad she's pointing out the penis hatred in lesbian circles (rad fems called out? nice).

Hm then something about how bi women in relationships with other women are uniquely targeted with heterosexual privilege which just doesn't smell right to me but I can't put my finger on why.

when people start wielding terms like “privilege” (or “socialization”) in non-nuanced ways — and especially when they frame these as perpetual statuses that are impervious to change — the concern they are raising has little (if anything) to do with actual oppression or marginalization.

Really Serano? Where's the "doubt" meme because

Go read the full thing here; it's infuriating. Basically, she's saying the rise in the use of TME/TMA as rigid labels is because trans male and masculine folks are upset that they're so overlooked and are pushing back on the fact trans women actually get highlight even in issues that uniquely affect us (the amount of times I heard people complaining trans women don't need ObGyn visits so why are we trying to bring up trans people...)

Also the bs that AFAB trans people highlighting the F in their AGAB means that trans women must also highlight the M in their AGAB... like Serano if that was true and we need to coin flip this bitch all the time, well, why do your adherents hate the term transandrophobia so much?*

*this is actually a lot more nuanced and if prompted, I'll go into a deeper dive on why one group trying to emphasize their marginalized status a certain way doesn't mean the coin flip group has to mimic their behavior in any way but not right now. But if you want to hear my thoughts, I beg you, send me an ask. I'll Go Off.

And in my experience, lesbians who are suspicious of trans women are usually suspicious of bi+ women as well, and vice versa. 

Name. Them. They're rad fems Serano. It won't hurt you to admit it.

Okay, she goes on a thing about cultural feminism. I'll bookmark that to read later I think. It's already 1:30. I've spent 30 minutes reading and responding after spending an hour trying to dethaw my lock to get inside after work.

Most radical feminists were careful to identify the male role rather than maleness as the problem. 

This is a quote pulled from the article Serano links about cultural feminism. I hate to tell Serano this (I don't) but this... things have fucking changed since the 1980's. Radical feminists now very much blame men for the problem, not just their maleness. That's why there's so much overlap with TERFS! They're literally rad ems!!!

Serano then goes on to talk about how they call themselves radical feminists and thus TERFs and it's like... what distinction are you trying to make here? This is worthless except to make me angry!

Cultural feminists sometimes collaborate with social conservatives and the far-right on certain issues — most notably, their anti-trans, anti-pornography, and anti-sex-work positions.

I don't understand her resistance to calling them radfems. They are radical feminists. Even if in the 1980's it was something different, it's been 40 fucking years. We didn't have smartphones or accessible cellphones back in the 80's. Get with the fucking program.

Blah blah stuff we already recognize about how radfems see trans women as inherently predatory and dangerous because they got penises. Nobody I know argues against that.

Okay yes, here we are talking about trans men.

Cultural feminist views of trans male/masculine people are more complex and varied. 

Yep, this is why we should have our own word, to better discuss these complexities separate from mere misogyny or transmisogyny. There's an inherent overlap with being once seen as a woman/girl and "choosing" to become more masculine, whether you're actually nonbinary or fully male.

Gender traitors, lesbians escaping the patriarchy, groomed by TRAs. Check, check, check. Irreversible Damage, oh that's an easy ---

And who is supposedly doing this “seducing”? Trans female/feminine people, of course. 

Do you here the tires of my brain screeching? I'm shocked my ears aren't bleeding. They actually popped. Just. Holy shit, the presumption.

What about ROGD Serano? The thing Irreversible Damage is about? The thing that "spreads" across "girl" groups? "AFAB" groups? Where are the trans women in this Serano? Do you want my ears to pop?

Okay, okay, five minutes and I've calmed down. I'll let Serano finish.

Another “gender critical” author, Kathleen Stock, has remarked that, “The autogynephilia tail is wagging the puberty-blocking dog,” adding that, “many of the loudest (partly because male) voices policing critical discussion of the treatment of ‘trans’ kids barely disguise their autogynephilia.”

Oh, so one other TERF author blamed it on the trans women. So because of that, you ignored other sources talking about it spreading across "girl" groups. As in AFAB. As in not trans women. Okay. My jaw does not hurt from clenching right now.

In their imaginations, “transgender” is a “sexually deviant and predatory man,” and “children” are conceptualized as safe, pure, and vulnerable “girls” who are in danger of being “corrupted” by a “male-borne” sexual “contagion.” It’s Predator/Prey thinking writ large.

Yeah, I wonder why the general public only think trans women exist (general public, not the public with young trans people coming out as their sons or daughters). It doesn't have anything to do with your hyper-visibility that trans men were complaining about and you defended those trying to shut them up with TME labels despite it going against what you wrote in this very article???

Here’s another way of framing this “gender critical”/cultural feminist perspective: Trans female/feminine people are viewed as inherently “contaminating” (we “corrupt” those we come into contact with), whereas trans male/masculine people are viewed as merely “contaminated” (i.e., they’ve been “corrupted” by someone else). As a result, the latter may be “redeemable,” at least to some extent or in certain cases. 

The emphasis (bold) is mine.

And here's the crux of my issue with Serano. She absolutely refuses to let go of the idea that trans women are not the most oppressed actually and there's a lot of give and take where sometimes trans women as a group might come out on top. Not that it matters in the long run because it all washes out compared to the cis world around us but she won't even entertain the idea. She has to make sure that we know that trans men and masculine people (in her view, AFAB people) aren't as oppressed as trans women/feminine people (in her view, AMAB people). And her putting masculine/male doesn't erase her total lack of a nonbinary perspective.

Cultural feminists also tend to view trans male/masculine people as relatively “safe” given that they are supposedly “innately female” and “lacking” the organ that imparts sexual stigma (and perpetrates sexual violence) upon other people.

This went with the above quote. I'm just pulling it out to show how she treats transandrophobia like its a good thing/privilege (but god forbid trans men act like trans women's visibility is a privilege because there's so many drawbacks---yeah like there is for being seen as "safe").

On the trans male/masculine spectrum, there can be a similar temptation to appease cultural feminists’ notions of “purity” and “safeness.” 

She also looks down on trans women who emphasize their post op status btw. She just really does not like hyper feminine trans women (see my videos where she complains about movies with hyper femme trans women), and she does not like trans men not entirely divorcing themselves from their AGAB. How dare we I guess?

Sorry that I was born and raised a girl and I still see my younger self as a girl. I'm not you Serano. I'm not going to act like my growth as a trans person is a model for everyone else and thus invalidate all nonbinary identities.

Whether intentional or not, these sorts of appeals tend to reinforce the idea that AMAB people (such as trans women and trans femmes) are indeed “dangerous” and should be excluded. 

Talking about trans men "playing up the F in AFAB" to access women spaces. Please someone send me an ask about this specifically so I have an excuse to go off tomorrow after work.

At the start of this essay, I brought up “recent debates between trans female/feminine and trans male/masculine communities.”

Okay awesome I'm ready. I'm not reading the linked article tonight, maybe I will if asked, but for now it's 2 AM.

So suffice it to say that some of the disagreements I’ve seen seem to stem from this imagined AFAB “vulnerability” and “safeness,” and imagined AMAB “contamination” and “dangerousness.”

Emphasis (bold) mine.

Imagined vulnerability.

Serano making me throw up in my mouth at 2 AM.

And as usual, it’s the supposedly “contaminated” group (in this case, trans female/feminine people) who gets accused of being “oppressive” in some way or other. 

Sure am glad that she chose not to go into specifics! Give us concrete examples please!

On more than one occasion, I have seen trans male/masculine people of color point out that this notion of “inherent AFAB safeness” is not generally extended to them.

But, notably, not the vulnerability. Just want to point that out. Trans MOC are just as vulnerable if not more so by fact of being men of color. White women hold so much power over them in public spaces.

It should be clear by this point that we must purge these cultural radical feminist frameworks from our minds. 

Fixed that for you. Stop trying to label them something new.

When you embrace the fact that the world sees you as “dirty” and “contaminated,” you make different art, and you gravitate toward different forms of activism.

I'm still not following links outside the article, but I don't disagree with this statement. You'll be seeing some of my own work related to this later next year.

'Being a freak] made me suspicious of appeals to “purity” and “safety” (after all, what feels “safe” to some people may in fact be “dangerous” to others). 

Would it surprise you Serano I have trouble feeling safe around women?

She also stops on the different art after talking about how in your face her poetry used to be. This is something else I really want someone to send me an ask about. I'm begging you.